#I know the last one is from heathers stfu

[losersclublol]

kinda weird and odly specific (fem) stozier bff head cannons !!!

stan has only ever let her bare feet out around richie

they quote the twins from like that one snl sketch. wait lemme specify. this one and they quote all the john mulany ones. like “we’re so close we finish eachother..” “off”. “his bootys real” “but my personality is fake”

they do those smule duets together and it’s a hot fucking mess but kinda good???

stupid. fucking. tiktoks.

so many

richie insists that they only do like one but they’re both on a friendship high and end up making like 20 and they’re all messy yet funny and good

a few of them blew up

cause why wouldn’t they. like you take richie, an actual comedian, and stan, an actual comedian who just won’t get paid for it. and you get comedic genius with the right amount of fruityness

ew no but matching pjs at sleepovers omg

sleepovers would either be like “we need sleep but you’re at my house” or “almost breaking something whilst having an amazing time and oh wow how did that get in your hair”

stan does richies hair at least once a month and she keeps telling richie to just do her hair like this and it’ll look this good all the time and richie keeps saying she will but noooooooo she doesn’t cause she’s a little dirt girl who has to look messy

they make the weirdest but best snacks together (i used to dip cabbage in lemonade, it was bomb)

they make little cooking videos/vlogs but it’s just stan looking tired and doing a good job, richie getting lost and confused and both of them losing everything they put down

“anyway now we need the spatula to mix it all up… where is the spatula” “how tf would i know dumbass you had it last” “okay don’t be mean stancy but seriously where is it i just had it” “bro i don’t know just retrace your steps or something idk… wait no where tf is it it’s not here” “see what i mean???” *confused looking* “omg where is it” “it’s gonna burn !” “no ! we made that together ! where is it !!!” *even more confused and stressed looking* “I DONT KNOW “ *harmonised screaming* “wait no no no it’s fine i’ll just turn the heat off for now” “oh thank god you’ve saved us,,, wait nvm no need i found it !” “where was it?” “oh the counter right next to us” “omg”

they’re the only ones who can see each others like ugly cackle only for bff snorty loud yet so silent laugh (please tell me you know what one i’m talking about)

the amount of times they’ve gotten in trouble for laughing so much omg

one time richie made them “hold hands” with their feet

she got punched but she got a picture so it’s worth it

their contact photos for eachother are the both best and worst pictures they have of the other

no other losers can see them

stozier eyes only

they definitely had one of those joint bff instagram accounts when they were like 12

omg musically

they had a shared account on musically too and it is the best thing ever made

HOLY SHIT ITS A GOLD MINE

“honey you already know i’m the slomo queen” and it’s just them doing some stupid ass spin with glasses on or something

stan has glasses

reading kinda glasses not like richies blind ass ones

omg no stan being farsighted is so funny to me tho i’ve thought about it before

like she can see birds like a mile away but walks into every fucking pole ever

she just can’t see them (how?? idk)

they share clothes

obviously

but when one of them comes over to the others house for a sleepover they just immediately change into whatever clothes is there

shared wardrobe

y’know my dad once put on my sisters jeans and they fit

sorry back on topic

i hate to be the one to say it but

they were each other’s first kiss and you can not tell me they weren’t

it’s up to you how it happens but it did

stans scared of spiders and richie takes advantage of that as much as possible (within reason she’s not an asshole)

she used the like spider on your face filter r to scare stan and it worked

she horror screams every time

THIS MASSIVE FUCKING SPIDER JUST CRAWLED OVER ME AND ITS LOST WTF

no no no fuck this no no

FUCK WHAT THE FUCK FUCK OFF NO

kms

i meant “i’m” but like yeah sure

anyways i’m sleeping downstairs tonight

they make up insane stories about stans bat mitzvah bc they were the only losers there

they shoot the straw wrappers at each other no doubt

have been mistaken for a couple too many times to count

they hold hands when they’re out and about (cause stan feels anxious and needs constant reassurance that she’s not gonna be left alone, also cause bffs)

they’ve got like ten of the bff necklaces and bracelets

like those wee bacon and egg ones that have the words “best” and “friends” on it

(stan got the bacon one)

they’re both lactose intolerant but have ice cream dates

whenever they have like picnics stan always brings perfectly cut fruit and nice sandwiches and food and stuff and richie brings all the snacks that they both like

stans like the mum who makes the cute little bentos

soup making omg

they’ve 100% cosplayed like heather chandler and veronica and like oh god i don’t wanna say it but bakudeku HDHSJXBHXHAJSNSN

i’m sorry but it’s funny

it was unintentional at first tho

richie was doing the deku voice for a tiktok and stan was telling her to stfu and people ran with it

WHY IS THAT SO FUNNYHXVSHXB BHSKSMSM N JEJNS

they’ve definitely ugly cried together

well of course

but it still had to be said

and like cuddles awwwwww

also they genuinely love eachother

whether it’s romantic or platonic they are like soulmates to me

well to me all the losers are soulmates but stozier are just the ultimate best friends

okay y’know what i’m gonna end this here

also i have no clue how to do the read more things apologies

oh and if anyone has any tips on how to do it in the mobile that would be so appreciated !!!

[hiimsociallyawkward]

the wicked day

hey guys. i'm back with my random and annoying merlin thoughts. i should be studying for my bio quiz, but yk- i don't want to :,) love you @lady-ofmagic-andstars✨enjoy✨

literally every time i'm going watching i'm going to comment on john hurt that says young man instead of young boy

it's so subtle but wow. thanks i didn't need to be hurt so early on in the episode

i know i know i'm basically a child but this is so exciting

merlin is so cute

aw no not arthur being pouty abt his big birthday

I LOVE THE 'i heard that' thing so much. i love it i love it

off topic, but i love knife throwing. i've always thought that if i had to choose a weapon that's not a gun, i'd choose knifes. swords? maces? crossbows? sure. but knives?? that's where it's really at

i love arthur not wanting to overburden their citizens

ok uther? i hate him

but here? i love him

he's a good dad here. remembering arthur's birthday? that's so sweet. uther in season 4 is the only time i semi like him

AW ARTHUR AND UTHER AT DINNER

i love them

off topic but i like that arthur is wearing his 'every day' clothes, jacket and a tunic under his cape. that's it. the knights are all wearing his garb but arthur is just wearing his 'regular clothes'

hehe gwen being nervous about arthur being on the wheel is so sweet

idk why but i always get nervous at that last knife.

like of COURSe i know he's not going to get hit but it's scary.

the 'not wearing any trousers' thing omg. bbc really decided to do that

i wish we had more of this parental dynamic of arthur and uther

dam alright arthur. being out of it but still being in it enough to see the guy in the reflection? i stan

SKLFJASLDFJA uther fighting to protect arthur

literally me through his whole scene going 'oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez' on repeat.

so off topic but i kind of like the hairstyle they have for most of the guys in this show?? idk is that weird

oh jeez oh jeez oh jeez uther dying

like, i HATe him. i've been waiting for this since season 1 but this scene makes me sad

ok i don't remember the last episode of merlin so i forget what arthur says when he's dying in merlin's arms??

it's something like 'hold me' right? i feel like that has the same energy as 'stay with me' so while i can't exactly say this is sort of parallel, it's sort of parallel?

i mean, ok 1. dying in someone else's arms. 2. dying in the arms of someone you love? romantically, platonically, familial? doesn't matter. both uther and arthur died in the arms of someone they loved. 3. i'm just gonna say 'hold me' and 'stay with me' have the SAME energy, so if no one has called semi-parallels, i'm calling semi-parallels

bradley's single tear

stfu agarvaine. i'm serious. legit everytime he shows up i wanna pow pow pow him

legit. agaravaine needs to get away from morgana.

DO NOT GRAB HER ARM MISTER. LET GO OF HER

I DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH HER. LET GO OF HER RN

i've said it once and i'll say it again, i love gwen

not to romanticize death or anything but i like candle light vigils.

ok maybe slightly symbolic but probably not? ok actually i think it is, not to toot my own horn but this is also just really straightforward too.

arthur wearing 'street garb' and his 'knight stuff' sort of differentiates between 'arthur' and 'prince arthur'. the scene where merlin and arthur are looking over the vigil and merlin's talking about how there's nothing that can be done, and arthur mentions using magic, i may be off about this but i feel like he's speaking more from prince arthur rather than arthur, uther is my father.

like of course arthur's hurting, everyone knows he's hurting. but idk. i feel like he feels like he's not ready to be king. he needs more time, and he can't be king yet. so therefore, prince arthur is talking about needing to save their king.

gaius and merlin are both right here. idk what else to say.

wow merlin 'you can't stop me' love that

jeez 'maybe this is my chance to change that' little do you know what's happening soon merlin.

oh shoot.

arthur asking merlin if he would use magic to save his father? i'm just thinking back to merlin crying, but not crying over balinor because he couldn't tell arthur, and merlin having to mourn his father in secret. vs. arthur, asking merlin for advice. sharing all his worries and insecurities with gwen. begging gaius to do something more for his father. this just makes me so sad

arthur TRUSTING merlin. with everything. taking merlin's opinion on things and aw

this is dumb but tbh i really like merlin's outfit. like tbh i think i dress in the same sort of style, just ✨modern✨ sadly, no neckerchief for me but i do have a necklace that says 'heather' despite my name being 'ashley'. ily conan gray

ugh. arthur calling merlin a coward but also calling him brave?? you need to pick a side arthur

LMAO ARTHUR STOP THINKING ABOUT WATCHING MERLIN PEE

bruh arthur breaking the vase. it's so dumb but merlin referring to the vase over and over actually makes me chuckle

ok merlin going 'you have come to kill me?' reminds me of another show but i can't remember but i thought i'd put it out here anyways

oh shoot i just realized/remember that uther got stabbed on arthur's birthday. hell of a gift am i right 😭

hehe arthur 'sweeping' with the broom. silly goose

dragoon sounds so vulnerable asking for the right to use magic freely

i love you arthur. this scene, i'm like YES. arthur i love him

i love the saying 'my word'. like, i don't want people to promise me anything anymore. i want them to give me their word.

HAHA THIS IS SO DUMB. MERLIN SAYING 'QUESTIONS. SO MANY QUESTIONS'. I LITERALLY SAY IT WITH THE SHOW EVERY TIME. WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME

aw arthur just sitting there with the cup and trying not to break it HAHA he's so sweet. slightly scared after that vase yk what i mean

ok i don't like morgana and everything but that necklace? that's a stroke of genius. yes girl. make up the plan as you go along

frick you agarvaine. do not scare gwen you PERV

jeez agarvainewas SO rude putting that necklace onto uther. like yes, ik you don't like him but STILL. that's just rude

i'm going to start calling people toads now

hehe arthur closing his door and merlin being right there. it's not necessarily a trope but it totally is and i love it

ah yes. merlin and the tavern. i feel like it's been referred to before but it's still funny.

ok ik arthur carrying merlin is there for kicks for the kids but i laughed anyways

apparently i have the humor of a 10 year old

this is really dumb but the scene with arthur and the two guards. i'm just thinking 'how tall are these guards'. ofc ik that the staging/perception could be doing something that might be making arthur look shorter, but my first reaction was 'bradley is 6' just how tall are these guards??'

merlin's speech about magic makes me sad

aw 'i hope, one day, that you'll see me in a different light'

dragoon has the same effect on arthur as merlin does

uther waking up 😭

AW. UTHER'S LITTLE SIGH AND THEN 'ARTHUR' BREAK MY HEART COVEY. BREAK IT A THOUSAND TIMES.

they're both so happy. this makes me so sad now. oh jeez. oh jeez. oh jeez

oh jeez oh jeez merlin's expression. AW merlin gave arthur his word. oh jeez this is very stressful and i'm only watching this

ok obviously. merlin doesn't want to see arthur in pain. but ALSO this was merlin's chance to change things once and for all. and now uther is dead. #no liam just payne

arthur's face post crying. skf;aldjfa;ldk AW

frick you agarvaine. literally die. i can't wait for merlin to kill you

i think this scene is pretty. the light on the left and the dark on the right? ok actually, i'm going to be making an off base comparison now because that's all i do.

i'm remembering this post i saw on here and it was like, arthur uther and morgana in the throne room. in order of the way they sit in the throne room, first it's arthur, uther, and then morgana

well. the really dumb and off base comparison here is the 'light' goodness of arthur and the 'dark' evil of morgana being mirrored in the picture above.

'light', bravery, doing what's right- being on the left. 'dark', evil, power on the right- and arthur in the middle of it, king

like i said, it's a dumb off base comparison, but at least the picture is pretty

oh jeez this scene

my heart breaks for both of them

merlin not being able to form a sentence at first.

😭😭😭😭 arthur please. you're breaking everyone's heart right now

you already knew i had to include this scene

arthur walking in there all alone

oh jeez he's all alone

dumb parallel number 2. arthur walking into the throne room with uther, father and son. merlin and gaius closing the door for arthur- pseudo father and pseudo son.

'he'll never know who i really am'

i want to do a DEH post soon but jeez. the line that hits hardest for me in DEH is 'i never let them see the worst of me. cause what if everyone saw? what if everyone knew? would they like what they saw? or would they hate it too? and jeez that's all i can think about when i think about merlin and his secrets

again. no liam, just payne

asldkfja;sldkfjas dlf merlin waiting for arthur

i have so many feelings

i love the show of affections for his father. you already know that uther wasn't affectionate when arthur was growing up, but still. forehead kiss? i love it

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FEEL THAT YOU WERE ALONE. i hate this and love this so much. i'm not saying merlin is completely selfless, because merlin wants magic to be leagalized and arthur is the way to do that. but omg merlin not wanting for arthur to feel like he's alone breaks me

first, merlin being physically alone while waiting for arthur. arthur was technically alone too, but he was with his father

but also, merlin being alone in the sense of his magic. no one knows except for gaius. lancelot knew and then they killed him. merlin is so alone when it comes to his magic, and morgana's enchantment only pushes merlin into his 'magic shell' more. arthur thinks magic is pure evil, and merlin is made of magic. what does that mean would think of arthur. this hurts me so much i'm so sad

friend 😭

arthur asking if he's hungry and them getting breakfast together

ok this sound track

pendragon red. i actually stan

gwen wearing a purple dress?? color symbolism?? nah i'm over thinking

ASIFA;SDLFJAD HE'S KING OF CAMELOT

IT'S LIKE I WANT TO CRY BECAUSE I'M SO PROUD RIGHT NOW.

oh jeez oh jeez.

and merlin saying 'long live the king' at the end of the episode?

chills

Anyways! I’ll be back next week to rant more about aithusa so I’ll see you then! thanks I love you bye

[cconcerned]

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My mom ;w;

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

Not rlly anyone-

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Depends. If work then no, if just hanging out then i think so

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

‘‘I like’‘ friend: probaly. ‘‘I like’‘ crush: idk

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

outgoing ppl and taht just like memes and gaming. Dont know really

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Nope

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

my older, middle brother 

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

little bit

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Mom

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

Just some pics or text: 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Musical songs. Mostly Heathers 

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Not really. I have hair that is greasy 24/7. So the person would probaly be grossed out before they touch it

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

Ye

15. What good thing happened this summer?

summer sucks so badly- but I guess.....I- dont know actually

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

V i r g i n  l i p s. never kissed before 

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Nah

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

nope, I told him and after years of being good/best friends we stopped talking

19. Do you like bubble baths?

absolutely

20. Do you like your neighbors?

dont have them. Or I just never talk to them

21. What are you bad habits?

This is kinda embarassing but thumb sucking. like a baby. Also nail biting

22. Where would you like to travel?

Japan or China

23. Do you have trust issues?

Eh, idk

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

sitting behind my computer

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My face

26. What do you do when you wake up?

think about life and lay there for 30 mins

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

darker. Im an marshmellow now

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My older youngest brother

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Ye, suprisingly

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Probaly yes

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

I think it has to say ‘‘Is’‘, so yeah, it is

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Intresting question- I dont keep in touch with the new celebrities so idk. 

33. Spell your name with your chin.

oh god- Ill just use my nickname ppl know me as, not my real one:

RfdIkVERf     -  River

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I have worse condition then an snail

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

without tv. Dont watch it. Also you have youtube

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Ye. I like someone now but I am to afraid to tell them

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Likes gaming, horror, memes, and is overal an nice guy to talk to

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Outside? You want me dead?

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Probaly go into game design

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Depends on what they done

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

Im being myself

43. Do you smile at strangers?

If I try to smile I look like I am dissapointed in them or angry

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

outer space. 

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Remembering I have youtube vids to watch and I have books to read

46. What are you paranoid about?

the things I dont know

47. Have you ever been high?

Nope

48. Have you ever been drunk?

Nah

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yeah. So I aint going to tell it

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yeah, constantly

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My face

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I dont do makeup

54. Favourite store?

Dont go to stores

55. Favourite blog?

Cant think of anything on the top of my head. Too many

56. Favourite colour?

Purple or black

57. Favourite food? 

Brocoli or something unhealthy like hamburgers

58. Last thing you ate?

chocolate cereal

59. First thing you ate this morning?

chocolate cereal

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

Yeah. Won a playback competition in 4th grade of elementary

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

Never been

62. Been arrested? For what?

Im too much of an pussy to do something to get myself arrested

63. Ever been in love? 

Of course

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

Mk. It all started when I was an baby and my mom kissed me on the head

65. Are you hungry right now?

Just ate

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Dont have tumblr friends, (Or real friends)

67. Facebook or Twitter?

Twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

Tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now?

Nope

70. Names of your bestfriends? 

I guess I only have one, Roksana. 

71. Craving something? What?

Chocolate milk

72. What colour are your towels?

blue

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

around 4

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yeah

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

over 100 probaly

75. Favourite animal?

Bears or cats

76. What colour is your underwear?

Light pink- dont judge me goddamnit

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Chocolate

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

white with pink and black hearts. Stfu

80. What colour pants?

same as shirt, Im in pyjama

81. Favourite tv show?

Tanked

82. Favourite movie?

UhHHhh Osomatsu san the movie probaly, not sure yet.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Never seen both but I think I like Mean Girls from what ive seen and heard

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean Girls.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

Uhhhh- hard to pick favorites

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

random, but Dory

87. First person you talked to today?

My older middle brother

88. Last person you talked to today?

Its morning-

89. Name a person you hate?

Alexia

90. Name a person you love?

Roksana

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

100% 24/7 yes

92. In a fight with someone?

Have been.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

around 3

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

7

95. Last movie you watched?

uhhhhhhhh-- shit I dont watch movies

96. Favourite actress?

dont have one

97. Favourite actor?

dont have one

98. Do you tan a lot?

Eh

99. Have any pets?

ye

100. How are you feeling?

could be better, could be worse

101. Do you type fast?

ye

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

of course I do

103. Can you spell well?

Depends if Im rushing: not

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Ye

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Probaly once

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Yeah

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

Mhm

108. What should you be doing?

Getting ready to go meet someone

109. Is something irritating you right now?

Nah

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Nada

111. Do you have trust issues?

Isnt this question asked before?

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

Mom

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Never had one

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yeah

115. Do you play the Wii?

Used to

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Nope

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

Never tried it

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Kinda

119. Favourite book?

Warrior Cats

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Pretty spoopy shit

121. Are you mean?

I dunno

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Nope

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Waste of time when they are going to be dirty again by the next day

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Never thought of it.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Probaly not

126. Are you currently bored?

YEah

127. What makes you happy?

Spending time with myself

128. Would you change your name?

Mhm

129. What your zodiac sign?

Libra

130. Do you like subway?

Never tried it

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

Think about life and what to do

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

This has been asked before

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Blue from Heathers

134. Can you count to one million?

Yeah but I aint gonna try

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

Alot, hard to pick one

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

Open

137. How tall are you?

around 5′7

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Straight

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Blonde

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

January

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Nope

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark

145. Tea or Coffee?

Neither

146. Was today a good day?

Dont know yet, only morning

147. Mars or Snickers?

Mars

148. What’s your favourite quote?

‘‘Bruh’‘ i think not sure

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Ye

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

dont have an book next to me

I like to answer these ok dont judge-

[shadesofhue]

“Prelude”

Him: What’s yo name, anyway?

Me: ...Hue.  


…and that’s how it started.

I was sitting in my favorite coffee shop. Juggling ideas in my mind, while not being able to be still enough to enjoy the inspirational article I was reading. My brain was everywhere, from which one of my crystals I should grab, to when I’d finish that last section of the 4 agreements. I’m an artist, and at times I need to be centered and  grounded into one train of thought at a time… and currently, that’s my biggest issue. Between self-submitting to acting roles, to researching fashion, and utilizing my degree in sociology to help change the world through advocacy… i’m a mess in this coffee shop. But understandably so, that’s okay… we all are. 
 I’m in my 20’s. My peers usually resort to the idea of “figuring things out.” If you let me tell it i’ve got many things figured out. It’s just the matter of surrendering and allowing them to flow, without control. I pay attention to myself and all of my contradictions. Not only is my Sun sign of air, and my moon in fire, the two are the exact opposite of each other… Libra and Aries. Not to mention, my Ascending is Scorpio. Which is a whole other ball game. I’ll talk about that when i’m much more comfortable. LOL comfortable… that’s what he said.

“Do you mind if I plug this in, here?”, he asked with certainty that the way he was looking at me would seduce me into giving up any outlet i’d have available. “Not at all…”, I replied. FUCK! I should have said no pun intended… now he’s gonna think he can get whatever he wants. Had I said it, he would have thought I was some witty ho, though. Thanks, Universe! Damn he looks good. He’s wearing this black nike track suit with his hood on. He looks like a boxer… that type of competitive nature excites me. Psh! let somebody try us while we’re out! Wait, why is he my boyfriend already? See, that’s my problem. So here’s what happened:

I just finished my grande pike “with almond milk, and like… 8 pumps of vanilla.” I got to my last sip and realized I hadn’t had ANY water today. Until… this tall glass of it walked up and made me realize how thirsty I actually am. He looked at me, I looked down. Do you rub the back of your neck when you get nervous? I know I sure do. He walked to the register and returned to his table with a large iced water and a banana. He wasn’t going to sit there at first, but it was better than the bar area, I supposed. Either that or he wanted a clear view of all this greatness. LOL What am I talking about? I look like a college Junior who is over the bullshit, mad at my fraternity because they’re racist in other chapters, and recovering from the result of last nights mistake in the form of a hangover. At least I twisted my hair last night. I wonder if he uses shea butter too -jots in notebook of things to pop quiz him on, on our first date.- Anyway, after he sits down, I get up to use the rest room. I can tell he’s an alpha male, and that type of energy is a lot to take within the first few minutes. I noticed something about him though… he doesn’t spend much money. He has an iPhone 5, a Dell laptop, and he didn’t order a drink. He looks like a hustler and that he’s on his grind. He’ll understand that our first date would probably need to be over coffee… and I understand that it’ll probably be “on me.” But I don’t mind, we're both men. I’m just gonna need for him not to get comfortable, because I am certainly the type that requires courting.

Him: “Do you mind if I plug this in, here?” Me: “Not at all.”

As he kneeled down to plug his charger in, I noticed that he didn’t bend over… RESPECT! LOL. I observed him, as he observed my table. “What you readin’?”, he asked. “The 4 Agreements”, I replied. “Yo, I heard about that book! Is it good?”, he followed. “Listen… this book changed my life. I’m just refreshing because I didn’t really finish it. I started over from the beginning yesterday, and left off at the same place as last time. I’m going to start there and finish it today.”, I replied. “That’s what’s up. I gotta get into it!”, he said. I ended up telling him that he should. When he sat down, I could still feel the depth of his voice vibrating through my ears, to my heart, and to places I dare not to mention. He looks like Joe Budden to me. I’ve always had a crush on Joe Budden. Was all that time wasted watching Love & Hip Hop just a visual for my manifestation of this specimen sitting before me?

He reached for his banana. The one he ordered… and I saw that his knuckles had scars on them. I instantly wanted to nurse his wounds and rub his back. He seems gentle at heart, but this physical roughness that i’m getting from him is something else.

Him: You seem like the type to drink tea. Me: …but i’d prefer coffee. Him: I’m a tea, guy. You wanna be my honey-dip Me: lol, you silly. Him: You like cookies? Me: Yeah… and YOU BETTER NOT! Him: I like brownies, can you bake? Me: Not perfectly. Him: It’s okay. Success in life is all about effort, not perfection. Me: I like that. I thought you had some sick joke. Okay. I see you, philosopher. Him: Yo, That’s my name. Me: STFU. That’s not your name! Him: Yes, it is. I swear! Me: -smirks in disbelief- Let me guess. Yo daddy name is Christopher, and yo momma name is Phillis? Him: LOL Nah, It kind of happened like when parents name their sons “Sir” or “America” I guess. Me: LMFAO… NO! It’s not. Him: LOL Man… whatever. Don't be baggin’ on my name. -licks lips and gazes into eyes” Me: DON’T… Do that! Him: Do what? Me: That whole… LL Cool J, Lip thing you just did, then stare into my soul. Don’t do that. I have to keep things… cute. Him: But you are cute. Me: Thank you. That’s really brave of you to say… in this… coffee shop. Him: Look, just because i’m all masculine and manly, doesn’t mean I can’t be open. I dig you. You’re different. Me: …You’re right. Touché. Look I need to finish my book. As crazy as this even sounds to myself to say, I have a rule. NO DISTRACTIONS while i’m working. That involves and primarily consists of… MEN! Him: Aight, my bad. My bad! Dang… All that neck movement, you gon’ drop yo crown. -winks and goes back to seat-.

I wasn’t sure if he was acknowledging my royalty, or saying I was queenin’. Either way… he could be my king. I sat still after that to read the rest of this book. I would look up every so often and he would break his glance at me and smile like he got caught doing something wrong. I smiled, to let him know it was everything right. God, I don’t mean to question you… but YOU KNOW i’m trying to focus! Why you send this man up in here today to play with me, knowing I ain’t in the position or space to entertain. I quickly heard a voice say “TRUST ME. That’s all you have to do…” I looked up at the ceiling in disbelief, thinking God was up to something. As I looked back down Philosopher said “You hear me?”. “No, sorry. I was day-dreaming. What’d you say?” I replied. “Nothing! Aren’t you supposed to be reading? lol What you day-dreaming about?”, he said. “My attention span is very short…” I rebutted. He replied with “ahhhh… that’s very telling!”, to which I yelled out a “HUSH!… Look I got 3 more pages, then I gotta get out of here. I’m starving.”

He looked like he was wishing he could join me for dinner. Little did he know, I was going to a home he isn’t welcomed to, to sauté vegetables. After I finished the book, I made my way over to his table, where he gave me one final scan and bit his bottom lip. Giving a flirty smile, I said:

“…just promise me you’ll read it and return it within the next 3 days.” Him: How about I meet you here tomorrow at 7:30pm. With a full review. It’ll give us something to talk about. We can talk perspective and application. Me: …what are you trying to do to me? Him: Bruh, let your guard down. I’m not gonna hurt you… I don’t bite. You can trust me. Me: -rubs back of neck- I don’t trust anybody…  
Him: Do you rub the back of your neck, when you get nervous? Me: You’re observant.  Him: Look… Let’s make a deal. If this book moves me in anyway, and we meet back up to talk, I promise I’ll change your life. 
 Me: Oh, You’re GOING to give it back… My mentor bought me that book, and it costs $13…but how so?  Him: You’ll never have to worry about a single thing again, as long as you’re alive… 
 Me: Just because I let you read a word. Boy, BYE! What makes you so certain? Him: I’m not… but i’m willing to take a chance and risk it all to make you happy. I see your glow underneath this sweat suit that’s way too big for your little body. Wait… do you got a boyfriend? You GOTTA have a boyfriend. Them yo nigga’s clothes aren’t they?  Me: Haaaaaaa… You don’t know an ounce of me.  Him: I just have to ask. You fly! Got a nice smile. Sweet spirit. Good vibes and energy. I mean You look comfortable as hell! And although you got a big head… with your frame, neckline, and shoulders… I can tell you don’t wear a triple X in grey sweat suits.  Me: First of all, this is heather… and these are a Medium in pants. They just run big. It’s a XXL TOP… ONLY!   Him: No pun intended!  Me: Look at youuuu… with your sense of humor. LOL  Him: heather… grey… charcoal. It’s all the same!  Me: No… it’s not actually. But umm… I have to go, Phil. I reFUSE to call you Philosopher. LOL  Him: HAHAHA. Jokes… Aye!  Me: -turns around, scrunches up left sleeve, and ruffles through hair- Yeah?  Him: What’s yo name, anyway?  Me: …Hue.