#I know the Twitter Takeovers are done just for fun and that not EVERYTHING there is canon. I'm well aware of that.

[piko-power]

Seeing posts about the Takeover and complaining about "ship baits" made me remember why I felt ashamed about liking sonamy and sonadow a few years ago...

[thatdisasterauthor]

Sigh.

Don't really want advice, I just need to vent a little. Gonna stick it under a readmore too, because it got a little long.

I'm burning out so bad at work. I love the idea of this business, it's super fun in theory, as is what I do there. But the way the business is run is a nightmare, and the job does not pay anywhere near what it should. And I thought that was going to get better this January, because the owner finally admitted that we need a full marketing department and asked me if I wanted to run it if I were to be given an appropriate raise, and I told him yes. Then we had our January meeting where we were supposed to discuss everything and he said he's actually decided to interview outside candidates and only consider me as one of them.

Which is fucking bullshit. I built this marketing department from the ground up. They didn't even have fucking business cards when I started. Every initiative I've done has gone massively well for being nothing but hit-the-bricks marketing with zero budget.

I get that, legally, they are required to post the job within the company, but they aren't legally required to post it outside the company as far as I can tell. (Nor have they ever done that before anyways...)

And before this was revealed to me, I sat in on an interview and all the owner talked about during the interview is how much he loves people coming into the business and finding their own way and building new skills. He went on and on about the two main people who have done that, and how much he values them. Neither of them had to reinterview against outside candidates to run the departments they now run. Just me.

I know why it's happening too, which makes it even more annoying. The owner has ZERO idea what I do. None. I do not report to him. Every time I'm in a meeting with him and start trying to explain stuff I get some version of "oh, I just don't understand all of that." I think there might also be a touch of not liking me because I stand up to him. There was a big issue with Twitter over the holiday marketing season because I explained how, despite being our best platform, Twitter was too unstable to be as useful as normal due to the Musk takeover and the owner went OFF about it, about how I shouldn't be "bringing politics into it." Nevermind that ANY corporate takeover is going to be destabilizing for a time and the man has never used Twitter in his life so how the hell would he know what's going on. (Also, not even 5 minutes later he told me he didn't want us using TikTok "because of the Chinese." What was that about not getting political, sir?)

It's really clear that I'm just never gonna get the respect and support I need at this job, despite how great my direct boss is. I'm also really fucking tired of working somewhere with an HR lady that can't do her job and refuses to give us direct deposit because it's "too hard" and doesn't put our accumulated sick time on our checks like she's supposed to because she can't figure out how to make the system do it, so we just have to email her if we want to know.

And I've been applying to jobs! I've had interviews! Some of them have seemingly gone well, it's just that none of them have gone all the way to hiring me.

Even if I get a new job it isn't going to fix the fact that I'm burnt out, because I can't afford to take time off between the jobs to actually rest. I've got, like, $100 in savings right now and nothing in checking until my paycheck shows up this week. (And because we don't have direct deposit, the check could show up anytime between Wednesday and Saturday, unless HR had some random shit come up and didn't get the checks out on time, which has happened before.)

And I should (should) have two weeks paid vacation now that I've hit my third year at this job, but I don't want to just use it all up in fucking January in case I am stuck here for the rest of the year, but I could really use those two weeks right now.

Then, in the background of all of this, is my art and writing stuff. Especially The Pits/its Kickstarter in a couple months. If that Kickstarter goes as well as I'm hoping I probably COULD afford to take some time off. But I won't know about that until the end of March when it finishes. And also, I really don't want to be putting all my baggage from my day job on this one project. That's not good for me OR the project.

I'm fucking tired. I was so close to finally getting ahead of all this before inflation hit last year. So fucking close. And then it all went away. I just want a job that pays me what I'm worth and respects what I can do. That shouldn't be so fucking hard.

[nervousspacerobot]

love the Magnus art and the buster response :D very cool! I’ve kinda run out of things to say lol and my weeks been packed. here’s a question: What is a standout G1 Episode or Marvel comics moment for you?

#gl

Thank you!

Also, hi, gl, haven't heard from you a bit, don't worry about running out of things to say, because I always figure out something to yap about.

Anyway this one's a bit long, because I have to tell you about something that happened on Twitter with my response to you and tell you about cartoons and comics

Also I would like to tell you that I posted the strawpage gimmick and response on Twitter and my response got over 5000 likes and your strawpage to me got like over 1000 likes and a fanart, and I wanted to let you know that because it's your art and I'm sorry that it went viral I didn't mean that lol if you want me to shout you out I will, but don't feel pressured to break the anonymity

Okay, so back to the question at hand.

Season 1

Episode 7 "Fire in the Sky"

It is good. Fun Jazz bit at the start. I like Skyfire and I really like Starscream in this one. I like how it shows his ambitiousness and how he sees others but how he puts his ambitions first and how he doesn't hesitate to hurt people he cares about for his goals. I think he's an interesting villain and I like it.

I love Episode 8 too. "S.O.S. Dinobots."

It has everything good in there. Wheeljack ans Ratchet's ingenuity. Autobots learning about Earth things, Spike and Bumblebee once again, getting in situations they shouldn't. The stubborn nature of the Dinobots. And of course my favorite bit

"Inhibitor shells... my equilibrium... destabilized... OUGHHHHH!"

"Megatron has FALLEN! I Starscream am now your leader! Decepticons, follow me!"

Season 2

Episode 4 "Attack of the Autobots"

I just like it. I like how all the Autobots care for eachother and are careful not to hurt eachother and I love the Bumblebee and Prime moment at the end. And I love Ratchet and Sparkplug in it too

Episode 16 "The Master Builders"

Optimus playing Basketball. Also Hoist and Grapple are great. I love Grapple. He's so real.

Episode 27 "Make Tracks"

I love Tracks. Him and Raoul play off of eachother so nicely. It's so fun.

Season 2 Episode 30 "The Secret of Omega Supreme"

I love Omega in this and it's a touching episode and I love how Optimus is so compassionate towards him

Episode 34 "Triple Takeover"

So fun! Love Astrotrain and Blitzwing

"Coach! It's a tank! What do I do?"

"Give him the ball!"

Episode 37 "The Search for Alpha Trion"

Establishes a lot. Introduces the Female Autobots. I love them. Elita is such a good leader and I love that it's implied that they managed to survive 4 million years even with so many bots away.

I LOVE THE MOVIE, but the question isn't asking about the movie, is it?

Season 3

Episode 4 "Five Faces of Darkness, Part 4"

Rodimus is... so depressed, so done with everything. The bit where he short circuits himself. Get therapy man. Also love the lore drop. I think it's very interesting. I think the Quintessons are interesting.

The next episode, the fifth part of the Five Faces of Darkness Quintology has a quote I like from Rodimus:

"We Transformers have looked into the face of our creators... and seen the face of an enemy."

It's just cool. I could talk about it more but I already talked so much and I haven't got to comics.

Episode 8 "Dark Awakening"

Just messed up. And Rodimus was so willing to give up the Matrix and just... Ough

Episode 28 "The Burden Hardest to Bear"

Rodimus just struggled the entire season didn't he? God. At least Kup's trying to help

Okay, comics now

US Issue 5/UK Issues 22-23 "The New Order"

You know, the one where Shockwave shows up and everyone is dead? That was so cool. A really strong start to the comics. I feel like it really sets it apart from the cartoon.

US Issue 7/UK Issue 26 "Warrior School"

Ratchet and Buster save the day! God I love Ratchet in this, I love him, I'm so normal about him.

UK Issues 42-44 "Crisis of Command"

US Issue 8/UK Issues 27-28 "Repeat Performance"

The Dinobots YAYYYYYY! Also Ratchet is GREAT once again!

I love that the trauma of what happened the Optimus with Shockwave stuck to him. I love that he doubts his command so Prowl tries to come up with solutions that make it worse. I love Bumblebee's self esteem issues. I love it.

US Issue 16/UK Issues 57-58 "Plight of the Bumblebee"

Bumblebee can't catch a break ever.

US Issue 17/ UK Issues 66-67 "The Smelting Pool"

Blaster and Scrounge my beloved...

UK Issues 96-97 "Prey"

Optimus is worried that the Autobots wouldn't make it without him. His solution is stupid.

US Issue 24/UK Issues 105-106 "Afterdeath"

This shook me so much that I had to talk to my mom about it

US Issue 26/UK Issues 109-110 "Funeral for a Friend"

Ratchet, it wasn't your fault you have to listen to me.

UK Issue 132 "Kup's Story"

KUP!

UK Transformers Annual 1987 "Vicious Circle"

I really love how in the comics, the things that happen to the characters stick with them and it can take multiple issues to resolve/never resolve

UK Issues 160-161 "Salvage"

Ultra Magnus and Megatron VS PTSD very cool

UK Issues 166-167 "Legion of the Lost"

This story arc is really cool and interesting and I like the amount of robot body horror in this series. Springer...

UK Issues 168-169 "Meltdown"

Impactor... It's just cool. Read it.

UK Issues 199-205 "Time Wars"

Iconic

US Issue 60/UK Issues 252-254 "Yesterday's Heroes"

Hot Rod is so stupid that Optimus's grief-driven suicide is postponed

US Issue 61/UK Issues 259-261 "The Primal Scream"

What if god was under your feet the whole time? What if while all this death and destruction was happening to you for millions of years, he was there the whole time and he just slept. What if you died twice and you found god and he was asleep and uncaring? Anyway, Bumblebee yells at god.

US Issue 70/UK Issues 309-310 "The Pri¢e of Life!"

OUGH OUGH OUGH OW OW OUGH OW

Anyway sorry that my words on them vary, but those are my favorites overall and I can talk more in depth out of all of them, sorry it took so long

Also these are just some of the ones that stand out to me! There are a lot of good moments that I missed!

[bitter-sweet-coffee]

Sonic Twitter Takeover fic prompt? Well, here you go:

Their breath was fogging up the glass. The wind which expelled from their lungs could not pierce that invisible barrier, so it clouded instead. How do pilots steer through clouds? Did it hurt when they flew through them?

Cotton candy is sticky, and it smells like blood.

"I don't think this is going to work Maria, we never heard back from them," the hedgehog mumbled, fidgeting with the girl's robin-coloured sleeve that hung from her stiff arm. Despite his concern, Shadow couldn't suppress the glimmer in his eye as he watched his sister tidy up the control panel that she had been toying with.

Maria simply laughed and shook her head, and faded gold strands of hair unwound from her scalp. The cleaning staff was always puzzled that the creature didn't shed, but the human girl manifested tumbleweeds that plagued the barren ARK like it was the wild west.

"They communicate with the planet all the time Shadow, it's definitely possible! I just had to rig this so it could transmit anywhere, and our shuttle is arriving tonight so we'll know for sure if it worked," she explained, before elaborating in words that her alien companion couldn't follow.

Instead of asking questions, he simply nodded as his mind wandered elsewhere. He would go on to regret this in about 50 years though, when his memories of her become sparse.

Maria continued to cover up their tracks, stifling a laugh at the visibly inattentive Shadow. She would never tease him for his lapses in focus, aware of how overworked the poor hedgehog was. "Let him rest," she had insisted with the project coordinators and grandfather but they seemed unconcerned.

"It's the Ultimate Lifeform, if it needs rest then the specimen can always withdraw and accept its termination," someone had told her. The cuts on her palm had yet to heal from the wrath of her jagged fingernails, and the insides of her cheeks were raw as always.

They'd leave, they just had to be patient.

Before Shadow could open his mouth to change the topic to something more comprehensible, an alarm began blaring from the intercom, startling the hedgehog into his sister's side. He was never a fan of loud noises, but Maria's hands were already over his ears— they were used to this series of events.

Just another few days weeks months never before they could get the hell away from this.

Maria was about to shut the panel off and deal with the intercom, but a rhythmic beeping was being transmitted that required her attention, head snapping back down to the source.

Unable to write things since her hands were preoccupied with muffling the shuttle alarm, the girl began tapping on Shadow's forehead, which made the hedgehog wrinkle his nose and squirm.

"Focus on this instead, I need you to double check with me, okay?" Maria whispered calmly, pulling Shadow a little closer to her side.

He did as she instructed and let the morse code beeping merge with her fingertips, the sound of the alarm fading away. When the transmission ended, the alarm truly was gone.

"No fucking way... it worked!!!" Maria cheered, scooping Shadow up and swinging him around, gripping him tight so he didn't get flung across the room like last time.

The hedgehog yelped from the sudden movement but it eventually devolved into giggling, his fists ramming into her back as he shook with laughter.

Shadow eventually regulated his amusement and pulled back to look at the girl, expression faltering when he saw the strain in her smile, eyes glazed. He quickly let go and landed on his feet, steadying Maria as best he could.

"You're not supposed to move that much Mar," he reminded, but she was a Robotnik after all— the stubbornness was genetic.

Maria shrugged and began stumbling out to the hallway, headed for the first floor; "Do you want your pizza or not? C'mon, I want to try cheese and the best way to have it is when it's still stringy!" she cheered, doing her best to mask the whistling from her lungs with her heavy footsteps.

When the hedgehog didn't budge, she looked back with a smug grin, "I know you're curious what crust tastes like, you're not subtle... I see you looking up toasters in the catalogue. If you want the crunch, then follow me, okay?"

Rolling his eyes and growling in defeat, Shadow followed the girl as best he could, their bare feet slapping the ground hard enough to warrant echoes.

Arriving at the main deck, the two snuck their way onto the shuttle that just arrived, taking note of the uncanny box that was haphazardly thrown on top of the better preserved food shipments.

The ARK had its own garden, so produce was never difficult to obtain. Meat seldom lasted and dairy was uncommon, so what was sent up would be primarily starches and other low-moisture foods for budget reasons.

Pepperoni pizza however, was not a dry, meatless, dairy free starch. However, this didn't stop the pair from contacting GUN before the food shuttle left to demand a pizza.

Shadow still worries about the poor intern that was spammed with morse code transmissions until they did what was instructed by the mad scientist and her loyal henchhog. They probably got fired, but that means they got away from GUN, so he considers it an improvement.

Maria snatched the box and grabbed Shadow's hand, ducking behind the pallet of saltine crackers; "Can you chaos control us back to my room?" she whispered, as the unloading team approached their hiding spot.

"I um, well I'm still not good at taking other people, are you sure it's safe?" the hedgehog asked warily, pulling away to adjust his inhibitors.

The girl shrugged, grabbing Shadow's hands back with her free one, "Let's go."

He nodded firmly, and with a quiet chaos control, they were safely pulled away from the crime scene and back in Maria's room, flopping directly onto her bed.

Shadow beamed at his success, but his sister was too busy melting into her comforter with glee, sighing.

She wasn't usually allowed in her room since it wasn't sterile enough according to her doctor. While usually kept immaculately, the duo would leave behind a never-ending generator of crumbs on that bed.

Shadow thinks they're still there today, but he won't go check. He hasn't been back in that room since.

After stuffing themselves with the foreign food, the siblings learned an important lesson on introducing new ingredients into their diet, and how having multiple things you're not supposed to eat at all or in large quantities... has unsatisfactory results.

"Do you think we shouldn't have done this?" Maria groaned, sprawled out and hanging halfway off her bed. Shadow was face first on the floor below her, and merely offered a pathetic thumbs up.

The girl giggled weakly, swallowing the fear that this would cause internal bleeding, and worried that if she cracked for just a second, the fun would be over and she'd be put in isolation again.

Fortunately, this wouldn't be the case, though she'd still bleed a week later as bullets were fired into her back.

"I'm sorry I asked for this, now we feel like shit," Shadow groaned, using his limited strength to roll over and stare up at Maria, a pained expression on his face.

The girl shook her head; "We've been so patient this whole time, what's the harm in waiting a little less for something?" She shifted back towards the wall and patted the open space on her bed, prompting Shadow to join her.

Smiling, the hedgehog crawled up and wiggled under the weighted blanket, sighing into Maria's lavender-scented pillow as she placed a hand in his quills, scratching gently behind his ears.

"Even if we feel gross now, we still had fun, and the pizza tasted good! Even if we're a bit sick now, it proves that sometimes waiting pays off," Maria assured, looking down at her hedgehog as he began to drift off.

The Ultimate Lifeform may have been too tired to say anything back, but both of them knew he agreed— they were used to waiting for freedom anyways.

"So... was it worth it?" Sonic asked, holding his slice of pizza between his fingers like a cigarette.

Shadow eyed his untouched plate, almost tempted by the still stringy mozzarella that he remembered throwing at Maria before remembering that it looked like her entrails.

"Should we keep ordering illegal foods until we can go down there for real?" he asked.

Maria laughed but shook her head, "No, I think we're done for now! We'll be experiencing the planet together soon anyways, I don't want to ruin the surprise. Plus, you never know if this stuff tastes better there, so I don't want to ruin everything with a space bias! We'll just have to wait a little longer, it'll be something to look forward to."

"No," Shadow admitted, "it wasn't worth it."

What he failed to communicate was that it wasn't the fact they did it, but the fact they never did it again.

[linareads]

Almost everyone knows that line from that book,

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move

It has been mentioned in Tumblr posts, Instagram posts, twitter jokes, what most people might not know is that this line comes from the Douglas Adams book, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, the second book of the Hitchhiker’s Guide book series.

This series is composed of five books and a short story written by Douglas Adams, and another book written by Artemis Fowl author Eoin Colfer. The book I’ve read consists of the five mains books of the Hitchhiker’s series, plus a short story. In the end, the contents of this book are these:

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Nominated as one of America's best-loved novels by PBS's The Great American Read) Seconds before the Earth is demolished for a galactic freeway, Arthur Dent is saved by Ford Prefect, a researcher for the revised Guide. Together they stick out their thumbs to the stars and begin a wild journey through time and space.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe The moment before annihilation at the hands of warmongers is a curious time to crave tea. It could only happen to the cosmically displaced Arthur Dent and his comrades as they hurtle across the galaxy in a desperate search for a place to eat.

Life, the Universe and Everything The unhappy inhabitants of planet Krikkit are sick of looking at the night sky- so they plan to destroy it. The universe, that is. Now only five individuals can avert Armageddon: mild-mannered Arthur Dent and his stalwart crew.

So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish Back on Earth, Arthur Dent is ready to believe that the past eight years were all just a figment of his stressed-out imagination. But a gift-wrapped fishbowl with a cryptic inscription thrusts him back to reality. So to speak. Mostly Harmless Just when Arthur Dent makes the terrible mistake of starting to enjoy life, all hell breaks loose. Can he save the Earth from total obliteration? Can he save the Guide from a hostile alien takeover? Can he save his daughter from herself?

Includes the bonus story "Young Zaphod Plays It Safe"

Having read all of them I have my opinions.

SPOILER ALERT

The books are funny, just reading the first chapters can tell you that the books are very very funny. Some passages of it are enough to make you laugh out loud because they are that funny. It focuses on the story of Arthur Dent, his friends, and the shenanigans he ends up getting involved in. These friends include Ford Perfect, an alien who has lived on Earth for year and writes for said Guide, Zaphod Beeblebrox, an alien with two heads who is also the President of the Galaxy at the beginning of the book series. Tricia “Trillian” McMillian, a human astrophysicist, who meets Zaphod at a party and ends up traveling the universe with him, and Marvin, a depressed robot. These are the main characters of the series, alongside Arthur, who is the main character, and they show up on almost all the books. One of the most important things in the books is also the guide itself, that instead of a book is more of a portable computer with a Wikipedia that spans the knowledge of almost everything in the universe. Another important character is Fenchurch, but she will show up later.

The first two books are funny, lighthearted and make a good show of world building (or destroying). The story begins with the Earth being destroyed to build a special highway, and Ford Perfect escaping just before the Earth explodes with Arthur Dent. With them they take a towel, the most important item anyone can take with them when they travel the universe, and the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Universe, a guide, much like our earthly travel guides, that tells you the best activities and places to visit whenever your travelling, Ford happens to work for the Guide.

In the end they end up watching the end of the Universe, seeing the last message form God, discovering that the Earth was nothing but an experiment to find out the ultimate question to all things in the universe (experiment funded by rats, the smartest lifeform on earth) they also time travel, travel through different parallel universes et cetera et cetera.

In the end the books are a very fun read, with one exception, which is the chaos. The books are very chaotic, and while that is part of the attraction of the books, the chaos is funny, makes you confused, in a good way, and works to explain what is happening to the characters and how Arthur Dent feels most of the time- However, there comes a point where it’s too much, and what happens its that you end up so confused you’re not really sure what you’re reading. There is no character index, a small summary of each other books in the end, nothing of the sort. So, if you’re confused, you either google the events of the books, or you read back a few chapters to see if you can make sense of it. And sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t.

By the second to last book, it seems like the author is pulling at straws, Arthur is, for some reason stranded on prehistoric earth, travels to space again, and manages to time travel back to his own time, where the earth isn’t destroyed, sponsored by the dolphins (the second smartest species on Earth) who then vanished from Earth. Arthur meets a woman, Fenchurch who can float, falls in love, (they also have sex flying through the skies of London?) travel to visit a man who knows what happened to the Dolphins and then travel to see God’s last message to the Universe (Which funnily enough ends up being “We apologise for the inconvenience”). And then ends up travelling the universe with Fenchurch, although throughout his travels all he wanted was to go back to his own time on Earth.

And then, by the last book, Fenchurch is gone, the company that edits and publishes the Hitchhikers has been taken over, the universe is in shambles because of time-travel. Arthur and Trillian have a daughter, a new guide shows up that can turn into a bird and time/dimension travel, takes Arthur’s child into a version of Earth where Trillian never left, still goes by Tricia, and is a journalist, and then the Earth is destroyed again however this time, Arthur, Ford, Trillian, and the daughter all die. (However, Elvis is alive and either playing shows in diners throughout the universe or runs a diner somewhere in the Universe, I am not sure)

And if you were confused by that last chapter, you can see how I felt throughout the book, because it somehow manages to be more confusing than all the others combined. In a sense, the last book seemed, to me at least, to be a last-ditch effort to just finish the story and be done with it.

The ending came out of nowhere, Fenchurch came and disappeared out of nowhere, so did the daughter, no actual explanation is given to what happened to the Guide, and why is the Guide now a bird thing?

None of these questions are answered, however, this still doesn0t detract from the book, and even as confused as I felt, as well as the anger on how it ended, doesn’t detract, in my opinion, from its five-star rating, because it’s still an amazing book.

Its funny, engaging, entertaining, easy to read and worth to read. Even with all its faults this is a book I will recommend to everyone I can and will read again, even if it’s just to read the passages I found to the funniest once more.

I recommend this book, give it five stars, but I must warn that this book is very chaotic, and has little to no set structure, and if that isn’t for you, well, you have been warned.

[strikearose]

It’s all about connections (SasuNaru) (Part 1)

Finally, here’s the very first part of the !YoutubeSasuNaru story - the idea’s quite silly but I had fun writing it so hope you guys enjoy it! (English is not my first language so please don’t be too much of a grammar nazi Summary : Sasuke has had that massive crush on a youtuber for years when Rasengan randomly starts going to his class. You can also read it on ff.net and ao3.  Part 1 (here), Part 2 (clic), Part 3 (clic), Part 4 (clic)

Poc.

The ball of paper missed its trajectory and crashed into the corner of the wall, barely half an inch away from the waste basket that originally intended. The student didn’t mind, though - he was far too busy trying to finish his economics presentation that was due for the next day.

Despite the fact that many of his classmates insisted on seeing him as a relentless hardworking student, Sasuke Uchiha was very much like any other normal twenty-one year old boy : a procrastinator at heart. So it was precisely on the night before the big day that he finally decided to finish it, even though he had had all of his vacation time to do so. Well - it would be a lie to say that it would take a superhuman effort to accomplish that task, but unfortunately the young man had another flaw: he was a perfectionist.

Even if he had to pull an all-nighter or give nothing back at all, Sasuke had always refused to be average -  because before (and in addition of) setting high standards for others, he would always set himself very high standards.

The black-haired man frowned as he read what he had written on the previous line and, impulsively, he ended up tearing up the entire page of his notebook and threw it on the floor.

However, the paper pellet did not make a Poc - as he had, this time, managed to reach the bin, it made a Ting instead : he had just received a notification.

His mind being elsewhere, the student rummaged around on his desk, looking for his phone. It wasn’t a text message, but a Youtube alert. One of his Subscriptions had just uploaded a new video. Sasuke took a quick look at the time (1:03 am) and let a loud sight when he saw how long the video was: fifty-seven minutes.

Of course, it has to be Rasengan.

He was the only one there who could publish a barely edited gaming review at such odd hours. One hour of uncut video was too much, even if it was to discuss the New Zelda. ‘That moron clearly don’t understand how the logistics of youtube work,’ the young man thought while stretching his legs under the table in order to get into a more comfortable position.

Because even though Sasuke might found the Youtuber’s marketing choices quite stupid and questionable - he was still his favorite. The only one he was following so.. assiduously.

And if he was really going to pull an all-nighter in order to finish his presentation on time, he might as well relax a little on the go

**

The coffee machine finally agreed (even though it sure had taken its’ sweet time) to give him his change money, but it still wasn’t not enough to lift Sasuke’s spirit. He really had spent his entire night working on the presentation. Well - he even had to give up his usual fifteen minutes of hot morning shower for just three minutes of shampoo-rinse-toothbrush altogether to make sure that everything was perfect.

But at last - there he was ! His eyelids stung horribly and he could feel the dark circles hollowing out his eyes, but everything was finally ready to make sure he would receive his usual congratulations for the seriousness and thoroughness of his work.

An amused grin escaped his lips when he looked into the face of Kiba Inuzuka, one of his classmates - a gamer and procrastinator emeritus who unfortunately didn’t have enough wits to back it up. With some luck, they would be called in alphabetical order for once and it would save Inuzuka the embarrassment of going Sasuke’s presentation.

Or maybe not.

Sasuke left the cafeteria just as the legendary lack of luck of the dog-loving student seemed to catch up with him:

« FOR FUCK’S SAKE NARUTO DON’T PUT YOUR DR PEPPER ON TOP OF MY COMPUTER ! »

**

« Hey Sasuke, did you also get Ichiraku’s mail about the internship? »

Shikamaru Nara calmly called out the black-haired young man as he sat down.

« Yes, I got it. And my documents have been signed and validated by the office earlier today.

- Cool, mine too, Shikamaru sighed. ‘t'was about time. »

He nodded his head knowingly: all the steps of searching, finding and getting the official documents concerning the internship signed were an unspeakable mess. Luckily, though, his partner this time was not a nutcase of Zaku Abumi’s caliber.

The Nara was placidly calm (Sasuke wouldn’t dream of seeing him threatening the Dean of blowing up the uni if he were to fail the exams) and quite intelligent: in short, he was one of his peers. And their little discussions were not too unpleasant.

« Well, we’ll talk later about carpooling?

- Yeah. And also dividing the task.

- Yeah, no problems, Shikamaru sighed as he turned away - tired in advance of the amount of work ahead. Ah, good luck with your presentation by the way. »

Pfft.

He didn’t even bother to answer.

Wishing him luck ? Sasuke gladly left ‘good luck’ to losers such as Inuzuka or Sarutobi who were very likely to be sending prayers at that very moment to every heavenly spirit existing, Jashin included, to have the course delayed.

Good luck ?

Sasuke definitely didn’t need it.

He was brilliant, meticulous and confident: talking in front of sixty or more people didn’t bother him at all - unlike the younger Hyuuga who getting more and more on the verge of fainting as she practiced her speech. More than that, it was even something he enjoyed. Knowing every aspect of a subject - mastering it ; defending it tooth and nail, tearing apart every remark made by his opponents until they surrender..

Some malicious people would say that Sasuke liked to boast on stage, that he was too arrogant. That he was far too pleased to thwart the traps set by his teachers, to answer the questions of his classmates with a smirk. A smirk just visible enough to make them understand how foolish he thought their interventions were. Or worse, that he had precisely expected for a moron to make that remark, thus allowing him to assert his assistance with a dutifully prepared response.

Saying that Sasuke Uchiha sometimes behaved like a complete asshole would be quite slanderous - indeed.

Because, no he did not.

He was brilliant, meticulous, confident… and humble on top of that.

« Hurry up, Kiba, I think it’s already started!

- You should have eat your lunch quicker ! »

The two latecomers were forced to take the front row seats of the auditorium while Sasuke finished to prepare. The slide show was on, the cable was connected - he was simply waiting for Mr. Hatake’s approval to start.

**

« And to finish with and anticipate some questions you may have, I’d like to add that while the data I used regarding market flows may be from two thousand and four, other studies that I have provided in the appendix tend to show that all exchanges concerning telephony have been profitable thanks to the takeover of the company by its competitor three years ago. »

Click.

He couldn’t have done better.

The teacher scribbled an umpteenth inscription on his rating form with a discreet approving wink and Uchiha smiled smugly.

Perfect - everything had gone on smoothly.

His onyx eyes wandered around the room: not surprisingly, half the auditorium hadn’t listen a word to what he had said, too focused on themselves (and the realization of their own projects).

Pfft.

The other half, however, completed his little moment of glory: some of them shook the head in bitterness, disappointed in what they had done in comparison, others gave him an admiring look. In the distance, Shikamaru nodded his head slowly while the Egyptian fury sited beside him, more belligerent, pretended to stifle a yawn.

But Sasuke quickly looked away, his mouth pinched, as he saw the thumb up that Lee Rock had kindly addressed to his attention. Lee was overall quite a nice fellow - Sasuke himself had to recognize it, - but no.

Just no.

« Well, if no one has any question, because I don’t have one either, let’s move on to the next presentation, Kakashi Hatake thought for a moment as he watched over the assembly. Inuzuka, you, in the front row? Well, that’s great, now’s your turn. »

Sasuke, quite disdainfully elated, was about to come down from the stage when a voice stopped him dead in his tracks:

« Oops, you’re in deep shit, Kiba! »

That particular tone was familiar to him.

Strangely familiar.

« Heyyyyy everybody! I know, I know, sorry! I promised to upload more often… But sometimes I just completely forget to turn the cam on. Or to remove the lens cover ahah! Anyway, today…- »

…

Come to think of it, Sasuke knows that he should have, at least, tried to make it look like it wasn’t that big of a deal. He should have try to tighten his jaw, clench his teeth or even hold his breath until he could return to his seat but of course - he didn’t.

That damn brain of his really had to go on mental-break down as he looked over to the lips from which those sweet, sweet words had just escaped.

He literally froze on the spot.

HOLY FREAKING FUCKING FUCK.

Why the hell did Rasengan have to show up in his class on the very-day he looked like utter shit?!

**

Sasuke let himself fell on a chair of the uni library. The research room, fortunately, was still quite empty - this haven of peace was the only place where, he was ready to stake his life on it, this stupid Inuzuka had not and would never set foot in.

Yes - Sasuke Uchiha had simply run away : with clenched fists, he had spent the forty-two minutes separating him from the end of the class to scrutinize meticulously the auditorium clock’s second hand. He had tried everything: scrolling down his twitter feed, pretending to be interested in what was happening downstairs, humming softly a bit of that stupid Latin-sounding song that his brother Itachi kept playing in the car, but nothing helped. That same frightening moment was played again and again in his mind:

Meeting certain cerulean eyes had literally made him go speechless. If he had for a long time now suspected the blond guy of drowning his instagram pictures with saturated filters, he was now forced to admit that this guy had the bluest eyes he had ever seen.

And by blue, Sasuke wasn’t talking about that pale, bland cyan that Ino Yamanaka, a high school ‘friend’ he often saw in the cafeteria, boasted about - no, Rasengan’s pupils were of a deep, bright, intense blue. It wasn’t a grey that stretched to be too light or green; his eyes were neither grayish nor turquoise: they were blue. Irrevocably blue.

Wonderfully blue.

The more he thought about it, the less Uchiha was willing to accept it: there was no way a guy who spent at least twelve hours a day on screens could have such marvelous eyes. He probably wore contact lenses, yeah, there was no other explanation.

All Sasuke could remember was meeting that seing that blue and then - nothing. His foot had stayed up in the air, his breathing hastened and he had stood there like an idiot - staring at the video maker who hadn’t pay the slightest attention to him, his mouth wide open.

How long had he been frozen there, like a fucking fangirl oozing hormones and sebum?

…

Thank’s God - an unfortunate accident had come to his rescue : Kiba Inuzuka and his legendary clumsiness who, probably not expecting Sasuke to suddenly freeze on the spot, had stumbled over the stairs.

PAF.

He had cracked his forehead open and the fit of hilarity (well - they didn’t need much at eight o'clock in the morning) in the auditorium had instantly brought Sasuke out of his enamored trance. He had quickly taken his attention away from the blond young man hurried back to his place, his heart beating fast.

Shit - what the hell was Rasengan doing in his college?

And why did he have do pull an all-nighter on the day before?

Sasuke looked around him and hesitated for a moment before putting his phone in selfie mode in order to inspect the extent of the damages.

Ouch.

He had rarely looked so bad. His eyes were red because of the entire night spent on a computer screen, his skin was tugging at him and - what the hell was that old scale on the edge of his eyelid ? But despair truly overcame him as he looked at the state of his hair - thank God it was still pretty clean, but there was absolutely no volume left. Nasty, long (too long) strands of hair were stuck to his temples and fell back a little on his forehead.

Shit - it was as if he was unpleasantly reviving his teenage years when - even though he still adamantly claimed to that day he had never turned emo, he had tried numerous dubious kind of hairstyles.

The Uchiha turned pale when it really came down to him : this was indeed the very first impression he ever had make on Rasengan.

**

When Sasuke set foot on campus the next day, curious glances were exchanged. While his complexion was as fresh and glowing as ever (he had gulped down five liters of water the night before), his hair was…-

Well - he rather gave the impression that he had swallowed five litres of gel. That observation made the usually impassive Shikamaru raised an eyebrow - for a moment he thought that he too had returned to his high school years. The Nara genius finally shrugged it off, plunged back into his textbook - well everyone had bad hair day every now and then.

**

Fourth day of the week - Sasuke grumbled as he put his computer back on his bag.

Of course, Rasengan had to disappear completely off the face of the earth as soon as he had decided to rock his best outfits to go to class.

It was as if Rasengan’s divine appearance had to be provoked by Sasuke losing some of his splendor.

…

The next day, Sasuke had the impudence of wearing a T-shirt… with a hole on it (an old accident involving a hook and his brother-in-law, a fisherman), but still - nothing happened.

There was not the slightest sign of the handsome blond with eyes too blue to be true. In a bad mood, Uchiha decided after lunch to put the Ralph Lauren sweater, which he’d slipped into his bag in the morning just in case, in top of his crappy shirt.

The following Monday came quickly but - no, Sasuke wasn’t expecting anything.

His decision to resume his daily abdominal sessions hadn’t been motivated by any hope of meeting a certain blond again.

He was doing it for himself - and for himself alone.

Although it was true that he didn’t even need it.

The coffee machine forgot inadvertently to give him a stirrer - Sasuke sighed. Great, the day was starting out just fine : how the hell was he supposed to retrieve the sugar that had fallen to the bottom of the cup and drink his coffee now?

« Ahah, I can’t believe it, I didn’t even finish my presentation and Hatake gave me the passmark ! »

Sasuke’s ears tensed imperceptibly as he recognized the voice of the injured-Inuzuka who had just entered the cafeteria.

« He felt sorry you had a concussion Kiba, Shikamaru was there too.

- Whatever, man ! I’m definitely going to pass that semester ! We got to go celebrate. »

Celebrate?

Like in a bar or club where Rasengan might also go to ?

Sasuke suddenly found his cup too heavy to carry around and chose to sit down at the table next to the one the two friends had chosen, any worry of lost-stirrer long forgotten.

« Mhhh. Shikamaru sighed and rummaged through his wallet, seeking enough change to buy himself a hot drink. The delicious scent of Sasuke’s coffee was tempting him. You know what I think about your improvised parties.

- Pfff, anyway, you hardly go out anymore now than you got hitched.

- It's not like that, Shikamaru sighed again. Tem and I simply go to different places. »

Sasuke rolled his eyes out, bored. He wasn’t there to hear about other people’s marital relationships: why didn’t they discuss Rasengan’s appearance AND disappearance instead?

The black-haired man had spend the weekend trying to figure something out, but nothing helped. Not a new video on Youtube (well, there was nothing that strange about that, Rasengan’s upload schedule had always been rather dubious), not a single clue on twitter or insta.

Nothing.

« …- never thought you’d actually manage to hook up with her. By the way…-, Kiba’s sentence was left hanging in the air. Oh, here he is. It’s about time! »

Sasuke’s pulse suddenly accelerated. Damn it.

He hadn’t expected Rasengan to pop up out of the blue, though.

Wasn’t his presence so close to his group of friends too suspicious?

Was he going to get busted that easily ?

He needed a pretext - quickly.

« Hey Shino. You’re here just in time, let’s go! »

Eyes glued to the poster for dark-metal band, Uchiha struggled to conceal his disappointment. 

Shino Aburame - of course.

Always where he wasn’t expected.

Jaw clenched, Sasuke pretended to take a closer look at the tour dates on the wall while the three companions got up to go to class. The disappointed student was about to do the same when a voice called out to him:

« I didn’t know you liked this kind of music, Sasuke.

- Uh… yeah.

- We’re performing next month at the bar around the corner, Shino let out a rare smile as he reached into his pocket to hand him something. Here, I’ve got plenty more.

- … Thanks ? »

Uchiha arched an eyebrow as he received a Radioactive Worms sticker.

…

Well.

It took all sorts to make a world.

**

Wednesday, nine o'clock - Sasuke sighed as he realized that his computer was already out of battery. He pulled the charger out of its’ case before giving a nasty glance to a student who was cackling a little too loudly a few rows away.

Inuzuka.

Again.

He was getting on his nerves more and more.

For how long has he been getting along like pigs in a blanket with Rasengan? And was he, as Sasuke strongly suspected, responsible of his mysterious disappearance?

It was all so damn confusing.

« Um, yeah? »

The microphone sizzled and Sasuke turned his attention back ont he lecturer who he had almost forgotten.

When he saw who standing next to him, he almost fainted.

Rasengan.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // FEBRUARY 20

On Wednesdays we wear pink, and in February, I stay inside and watch Turner Classic Movies because it’s too gosh-darn cold to do anything else. I watched almost as many movies as days in this month, largely thanks to TCM’s 31 Days of Oscar. A few things I learned:

As much as I enjoy a good TV binge, I enjoy the satisfaction of a movie's end more.

Thank goodness TCM shows good movies when the theatres seem barren of them.

If anyone says women’s complaints about their depiction in Hollywood are overblown, I’d challenge them to watch my month’s lineup. Most female characters were basically non-existent or defined as objects of desire no matter what decade the movies were from.

In February, I also watch the Academy Awards. Most of the movies here were nominated for Oscars, but I’m also recommending a few more pop culture picks (including TV, social media, a book, articles, and music) for the month.

February Crowd-Pleasers

The Imagineering Story (2019)

The Imagineering Story tells the story behind the creation of Disney theme parks, with the greatest highlight of showing you how attractions are designed. Is this shameless Disney marketing on the Disney+ streaming service? Yep, but it’s so well done that for a moment I forgot about their unsettling takeover of the entertainment industry and wanted to quit everything I was doing to go work for them.

This Knives Out Sequel Twitter Thread

The Internet can be a scary place, but this thread reminds us the fun things that can happen when tons of strangers come together. My recommendation was Knives Out: In 2 the Donut Hole, but that’s mostly because someone beat me to Knives Out 2: Adam Driver Is In It.

Classic Action Double Feature: The Magnificent Seven (1960) and The Dirty Dozen (1967)

Your girl loves star-studded team-ups, and it’s never better than when an action movie rounds up its squad of special skills. Also a Charles Bronson double feature! (Bonus: I recommend checking out the 2016 Magnificent Seven remake for a reevaluation of some of the elements that haven’t aged well in the original.)

Classic Comedy Double Feature: Moonstruck (1987) and Road to Morocco (1942)

Moonstruck is like My Big Fat Greek Wedding meets While You Were Sleeping, and Cher’s 1980s hair is a mood. (Arguably, so is Nicolas Cage’s chest hair.) Road to Morocco is like Airplane! meets Aladdin, and the silliness has hardly aged thanks to the talents of Bing Crosby and Bob Hope.

Joyful by Ingrid Fetell Lee

The science of joy? This non-fiction book is as fun a read as it should be! It’s not providing answers to deep questions of philosophy, but it’s about a philosophy that can bring life changes. I was amazed by stories of how bright colors, circular spaces, and Northern Lights can inspire joy no matter what your circumstances are. The only problem with this book is that you constantly want to Google every beautiful things she is describing—maybe we need a big coffee table book with photos as a second edition?

'90s Action Double Feature:Tremors (1990) and The Fugitive (1993)

You know a movie's good when you tense up even though you know what's coming. I'd caught bits and pieces of The Fugitive on TV, but this Harrison Ford/Tommy Lee Jones standoff still sucked me in when I watched it start-to-finish. Tremors is not a good movie—this is a movie so bad it’s great. If on some Friday night you need a big, dumb action movie with terrible dialogue, a monster created with dated special effects, and forgettable characters getting picked off one by one and coasts entirely on the charisma of Kevin Bacon and Reba McEntire (???), have I got the movie for you!

February Critic Picks

These Pieces on the Grammys Controversy

The New York Times and Variety wrote about why the firing of President/CEO Deborah Dugan and her subsequent lawsuit won’t be disappearing even though the Recording Academy is trying hard as heck to do that. As one too invested in how the arts are recognized and celebrated, I’m paying attention to what appears to be a scandal just waiting to be uncovered.

“Can the Grammys Be Trusted?” by Jon Caramanica (The New York Times)

“The Grammys May Be Over, but the Recording Academy Scandal Isn’t” by Jem Aswad (Variety)

Dark Passage (1947)

An exception to the trend of weak female roles in the films I watched this month. Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart re-team for their third film (of four) together in this romantic film noir. Bogart plays a wrongfully accused escaped convict, and Bacall is the woman who helps him keep his cover. The unconventional first-person camera angles at the beginning will catch your attention, but their chemistry will keep you invested till the end.

The Oscars

The 2020 Oscars ceremony was one of the most bonkers ceremonies in recent memory. Bonkers is preferable to boring, and I love any night celebrating movies, so I have very few complaints about an evening spent with friends eating movie-themed snacks. (Anyone care for an Adam Screw-Driver?) My favorite moments came thanks to Bong Joon Ho, especially his wins for Best Original Screenplay and Best Director.

The French Dispatch Trailer (2020)

A star-studded team-up about Midwestern journalists from the aesthetically-pleasing mind of Wes Anderson? Take my money!

Classic War Comedy Double Feature: Life Is Beautiful (1997) and Dr. Strangelove (1964)

They were both nominated for Best Picture, and they both find humor in the darkest of war. In Life Is Beautiful (La Vita è Bella), a father transforms a Nazi concentration camp into a game to save his son’s innocence. In Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb, a bunch of incompetent leaders try to prevent nuclear war. Neither sounds funny, but they pull it off with delicate execution. (Bonus: Enjoy Robert Benigni winning an Oscar!)

The Slow Rush by Tame Impala

As my brother would say, this album slaps.

Leap Day Bonus

“What a Man Gotta Do” by the Jonas Brothers

My apologies to the Jo Bros for forgetting to include this in my January Round Up—this movie-inspired music video is a treat.

Also in February…

Yes, I love the Oscars, but considering how much viewership went down, it seems the Academy could do more to draw people in. One of my favorite film podcasts inspired me to brainstorm seven ways the Oscars could make the public care again in a piece for ZekeFilm.

The writers of ZekeFilm counted down our favorite films of 2019, most of which you can find on streaming now.

Kyla and I discussed a rock ‘n’ roll documentary and a camp classic on SO IT’S A SHOW? this month.

If you want to see the full list of movies I watched this month, you can find it on Letterboxd.

Photo credits: Grammys, Tame Impala. Joyful my own. All others IMDb.com.

[starling-the-whore]

I saw a post going around on here lately about Mastodon that was talking about how it's dangerous because any weirdo can spin up an instance, and if they were being malicious they could read all your DMs and such, while traditional social media sites are owned by corporations, and so "presumably have some rules and regulations governing them" and like 🥴🥴

if you don't wanna use Mastodon that's no skin off my back but if you are going to be so lazy about internet safety as to just hand it off to a corporation, trusting them *specifically because* they are a corporation, EXPLICITLY on the presumption that regulations exist to protect you and will be honoured, without even checking to see if they're there and what they even are, then like in the nicest way possible, are you fucked? how are you going to be indignant about the possibility of a weirdo admin reading your DMs but advocate for "idk, let a big corporation handle all my private information instead" as a strategy?

and look, I joined the first public Mastodon instance that looked to me like it was run by decent enough admins that I can somewhat trust. and I would trust whatever admin of whatever not-obviously-completely-fucked Mastodon instance any day of the week more than I would trust tumblr or twitter or discord to handle my DMs. I categorically don't trust corporations with my data for communist reasons, there is a 100% chance that they will show everything I have ever put on this website to the first police officer that asks and god knows who is just creeping through my shit for fun; at least the admins of my Mastodon instance don't have a profit motive to fuck me over.

but like. all that being said, if you create an account on Mastodon, OF COURSE don't trust your admin not to creep on your shit!! I don't know my admin, I don't know if they're cool or not. I don't trust them enough to put incriminating shit that I don't want other people seeing in my DMs on Mastodon. I don't put it in my DMs on tumblr. I don't put it in my DMs on discord. these are all very bad places to put compromising information! your private DMs ARE NOT PRIVATE if you do not own the server you are putting them on.

if you want to send private information without other people being able to intercept it, fuck download Signal. if you want to post on social media and DM your friends with confidence that you won't get your shit peeped, host your own instance of Mastodon or Pleroma or have a friend who you completely trust do it; lots of folks host single-user instances. and if that sounds above your pay grade -- god knows I haven't done it, as much as I want to -- then that's fine, but please please understand that there isn't an alternative to your internet safety. **if you don't understand how to administrate a server to host your data and you hand that job off to someone else, then your data is not safe.**

which is fine! I'm putting data on this website I don't trust right now by writing this post, but I am mindful of what I put on here. I don't put anything compromising. and it drives me up the wall that there are so many folks out there who are working on building a FOSS alternative, where stuff is transparent and where at least if you are willing and able to learn how, you can choose how much control you want over your data, and they're seen as suspect for wanting to host public instances while corporations doing the same thing with NO transparency are automatically trusted. like seriously, I do mean it when I say not all Mastodon admins are trustworthy and some of them absolutely have malicious intentions with your data. but like, fuck man some of them are just literally doing it because they love their fellow man?? that impulse is literally the backbone of free and open source software and the internet as we know it, which has in the past decade or two been completely dismantled by the capitalist takeover of the internet. so how are you going to just trust tumblr dot com over and above the more transparent alternatives??

fuck idk this post is a long rant I don't wanna make it longer but just like. my thesis is not everybody join the fucking fediverse it's better than tumblr, my thesis is that if you want to use corporate social media websites, please don't be so gullible as to think your data is safer on here than elsewhere. everywhere you go on the internet, your number one rule should be that if you are putting your data in somebody else's hands, treat it as already compromised. every DM you send, every post you make, every picture you upload, if it goes onto a server you do not own, assume that the owner of the server is actively snooping on you, together with a CIA agent assigned to you, and that they can and will use anything you put online for personal purposes, will leak it to others, and will surrender it to the state without your consent and without informing you.

[rndyounghowze]

Tale of Three Photos: Our Failed Elopement

Gather Round Children And Hear The Tale of How Two Fools Eloped With A Bigger Wedding Than They Started #valentinesday2021

By Ricky and Dana Young-Howze

Mays Landing, NJ

Venmo: @rndyounghowze

We originally planned to get married on May 25 2015. I tried doing a wedding the proper way. A year of planning, venue scouting, everything Pinterest and Disney taught me. However no one tells you what to do when no one cares about your wedding except you. Well there was one option, elope. We could afford the church and the pastor (Ricky was old school at the time). We just wanted cupcakes and a few friends. Elopement it is!

We changed our wedding date from May to February for a few reasons: People told us they weren’t coming, my family refused to acknowledge it was happening, but most importantly we moved our Disney cruise from an expensive May date to a very cheap February date and you can’t go on a honeymoon before your wedding, right? We soon told our family about this dastardly plan and released them from coming. However it backfired on us. My mom went from not wanting to plan or think about it to staging her hostile takeover.

No part of this wedding belonged to us. My hair wasn’t how I wanted (and done last minute). We picked our outfits but that was about it. I asked my side to wear black dresses and Ricky’s side to wear black suits with pink ties. However just about anything else was a fight and a half. We just wanted cupcakes and soda and they got a two tiered cake with fondant. We wanted to play our iPod and they hired my Uncle Eddie to bring his band.

We released Ricky’s southern family from any obligation from coming and they loaded into a van and drove twenty-four hours to get there.

We had to pick up his sister the day before the wedding. Nothing made our families want to participate in our lives more than the idea of us doing something that didn’t involve them. It took everything in my power to not kidnap Ricky and run for Vegas or Mexico. Whichever was faster.

Now we look back and we realize that we got a wedding we like if not the one we wanted. We had so much fun and we do have a crap ton of happy memories, at least enough to outweigh most of the bad stuff. We are planning a redo of our elopement for our tenth anniversary. We know we already did it wrong by telling you. Don’t worry we’ll be on an expensive Disney Cruise with two best friends and sand between our toes getting the elopement of our dreams at last.

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[placetobenation]

Last week, I called for a bit of reflection and honest from the WWE. And I think they delivered a solid week on the rebound.

I’ll admit, it didn’t start well as the first couple hours of RAW wasn’t exactly must see TV with Nia Jax and some questionable booking messing things up. But, Sasha Banks title win and Dolph Ziggler vs. Drew McIntyre’s Extreme Rules match changed the momentum. Add in The Legend Killer’s new lust for the WWE Championship and they were off in running!

Keith Lee carried the torch over to NXT with a career best promo on Karrion Kross along with a strong presentation in the ring Wednesday night.

And how about SmackDown on Friday! The Fiend unleashed again, FINALLY!

Plus, I’ll say this – the shows “sounded” better with some renewed energy. It’s a good start and no, one week doesn’t make everything ok, but it sure makes everything better than it was 7 days ago.

It’s a positive sign as we head to the year’s next major PPV at SummerSlam. I wonder if the rumors of the WWE trying to hold it outside on a beach or in the NorthEast somewhere in front of a small crowd come true. If nothing else, it would be a visually pleasing change for a night. And what’s with the announcement of a Payback PPV just one week after SummerSlam? Brings back shades of Tuesday in Texas back in the old In Your House Days as The Undertaker took on Hulk Hogan in back-to-back weeks on a PPV.

Star of the Week:

Dominik Mysterio – OK, I’ll admit it’s a bit of a stretch, but damn, that was some nifty kendo stick wielding Monday night. It looks like the kid might be able to handle himself. We’ll see in the upcoming weeks and we’ll have to see if Dear Ol’ Dad sticks around to see it. See what I did there…

RAW

RESULTS

Andrade & Angel Garza defeated The Viking Raiders and Ricochet & Cedric Alexander to win tag team title match at SummerSlam

Nia Jax vs. Shayna Baszler went to a double count out

Bobby Lashley defeated Mustafa Ali

RAW Women’s Championship Match: Sasha Banks defeated Asuka to win title

Murphy defeated Humberto Carrillo

Non-Title WWE Championship Match – Extreme Rules: Drew McIntyre defeated Dolph Ziggler

Loved it:

Drew vs. Dolph II – While I don’t think we needed a rematch one week later, I give big time props to Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler for putting on another amazing match. This time it was Extreme Rules for everyone and they did not disappoint. Kudos to both for putting themselves through another brutal physical match just one week after their first one at the Horror Show at Extreme Rules PPV. Dolph, even in defeat, helps steal the show.

The champ never saw it coming. RKO OUTTA NOWHERE by @RandyOrton! #WWERaw pic.twitter.com/2XJINy7R1N

— WWE (@WWE) July 28, 2020

Randy vs. Drew – The two hottest stars on the men’s side of Monday Night RAW are now set for a collision course at SummerSlam. Sure, once Randy Orton made his feelings for the WWE Championship known at the start of the show, we all knew an RKO was coming to end the night for McIntyre. Still, out of nowhere, a feud that could be one of the year’s best has begun!

I was able to accomplish so much in the last three years, but it wasn’t because of my ability or my strength. It was because of all of the constant, warm support from the fans. I am so thankful I could meet you all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, Kairi Sane

pic.twitter.com/BaH2UBi9wn

— KAIRI SANE (@KairiSaneWWE) July 28, 2020

The Main Event – There’s nothing wrong with Sasha Banks and Bayley holding all the Women’s Gold in the WWE! Sasha has earned it now with a win over Asuka Monday night. The odd part of it is that the WWE used Bayley’s attack on Kairi Sane to make it happen. Of course, this tactic has been used time and again over the course of wrestling history. No shame there. It’s the fact that Sane is now gone from the WWE and they let Sane tweet about it during the show. Very strange indeed to those on both screens at the same time. But, mind you, only 13% (give or take) of Americans are actually on Twitter so take it with a grain of salt. It just shows lack of detail. Great feud somewhat overshadowed by a sidelight. Now, what does Asuka do next?

Hated it:

Nia vs. Shayna – Why on Earth did they waste my time with not one, but two segments that settled nothing. Jax just lacks depth on-air and it’s the same ol’ story. A battle between Baszler and Jax would be fine if they just let them go. But, to give me a short brawl followed later in the night by a useless (and short) count out was pointless. If you want them to fight, let them fight. Don’t waste our time.

Why?:

.@WWERollins & @WWE_Murphy went TOO FAR with @WWEAleister…but @35_Dominik went to the EXTREME!#WWERaw pic.twitter.com/3RPkoRte9T

— WWE (@WWE) July 28, 2020

Monday Night Messiah – If Seth Rollins is that influential and The Messiah, why does he only have one minion? You would think after months of saying he’s a cult leader, he would have a bigger following. Plus, what exactly in this continuing obsession with people’s eyes? I was hoping that would be left in the past with Rey Mysterio, but now it’s Aleister Black’s turn as he is on the shelf with arm and eye injuries after this week’s attack by Murphy and Rollins. I guess it’s Dominik Mysterio’s turn to take on the MNM. Let’s hope he continues to bring us to the Extreme with more than kendo sticks. But, it was a nice start for the younger Mysterio.

Intrigue:

Just like THAT, it's official.@Zelina_VegaWWE will lead @AndradeCienWWE & @AngelGarzaWwe into #SummerSlam to challenge @AngeloDawkins & @MontezFordWWE for the #WWERaw #TagTeamTitles! pic.twitter.com/dY1ZilL1IK

— WWE (@WWE) July 28, 2020

Tag Team Titles – I love what The Street Profits bring in and out of the ring and now they have a new challenger in Andrade & Angel Garza. They are so many ways they can go to get to their Tag Team Title Match at SummerSlam too. Maybe we’ll get a Bianca vs. Zelina side story too to make things interesting. Either way, the matches should be fun and if done right, it’s a pairing that could (and should) last on and off for the rest of the year.

Where’s Apollo – C’mon WWE – just be honest and let us know the deal with Apollo Crews. If it was just a neck/disc injury, wouldn’t Crews have done an interview segment at least? Maybe the rumors of Crews having COVID-19 are true and if they are, the WWE would be serving the superstar and its audience better by being honest.

NXT

RESULTS

Io Shirai & Tegan Nox defeated Candice LeRae & Dakota Kai

Johnny Gargano defeated Roderick Strong

Mercedes Martinez defeated Shotzi Blackheart

Non-title NXT Tag Team Championship Match: Imperium defeated Ever-Rise

Isaiah “Swerve” Scott defeated Jake Atlas

Triple Threat Match: Dexter Lumis defeated Timothy Thatcher & Finn Balor to earn spot in North American Title Ladder Match at TakeOver: XXX

Loved it:

"Kross, you have clearly made it a point that you 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 my attention, that you 𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕 my championship and you've done such extra BULL****!" #NXTChampion @RealKeithLee is PISSED. #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/QinBFDoKDd

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Keith Lee – Hands down, the best promo of Keith Lee’s NXT career. No BS. Straight forward. This killer feud with Karrion Kross and Scarlett will be epic!

That's our champ.

#WWENXT @shirai_io @DakotaKai_WWE pic.twitter.com/cSL3SAw9qb

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Io & Friends – What a start to the night! Io Shirai is such a bundle of non-stop energy in the ring! It was a very strong tag team match in which Shirai goes over Candice LeRae after Dakota Kai leaves LeRae stranded alone in the ring.

Shotzi – I get a smile when Shotzi comes on the screen. Even knowing she would face a tough battle against Mercedes Martinez, Blackheart brings the tank-riding run to the ring. I really want a Blackheart vs. Sasha Banks match if not for the hair color battle alone! She’s entertaining each and every week.

Clunky:

fixed on gold. #WWENXT #TripleThreat #NXTTakeOver @DexterLumis pic.twitter.com/dEddCIWBtB

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Triple threat ending – What was a decent main event and a fine match (how’s that for underplaying the main event!), it sure turned out to be a very clunky finish. With Timothy Thatcher trying to submit Finn Balor and his injured knee, Dexter Lumis puts out Thatcher to get the victory. It’s an easy way to skirt out Balor from being pinned or submitted and it’s another week of a “surprise” winner heading to TakeOver:XXX for a chance at the North American Title. This new land of opportunity is making a look for the underdog winner each week now.

Strong:

When you 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 wanna shut them up. #WWENXT @JohnnyGargano @roderickstrong pic.twitter.com/KllKZGpg9m

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Johnny vs. Roderick – No pun intended, but these two put on a hell of a match.

The Swerve – I like giving Scott some depth and a shot in the arm with a little build-up. I hope it continues and he gets included in a future triple threat to make his way into the North American Title Ladder Match at TakeOver: XXX.

Looking forward to it:

Ready or not, HERE THEY COME.#UndisputedERA #WWENXT @Marcel_B_WWE @AdamColePro @KORcombat @theBobbyFish @roderickstrong @FabianAichner pic.twitter.com/C6q9OiR0tp

— WWE NXT (@WWENXT) July 30, 2020

Imperium vs. The Undisputed Era – After a few months on the backburner, we finally get our Imperium vs. TUE match next week for the tag team titles.

A thought:

"Let's figure out a time for he and I to talk. This does seems like a miscommunication." – @PatMcAfeeShow to @TripleH about @AdamColePro #WWENXT pic.twitter.com/qbucAyuf6o

— WWE (@WWE) July 30, 2020

Pat McAfee vs. Adam Cole – While I think it’s a smart idea to bring that social media/reality drama to the TV side with Cole going ballistic on McAfee’s show, it did seem odd that Cole was on the show but didn’t have any comment on it. Something to watch down the road and probably just a product of late editing to the show.

SMACKDOWN

RESULTS

Intercontinental Title Match: AJ Styles defeated Gran Metalik

King Corbin defeated Drew Gulak

Big E defeated The Miz

Naomi defeated Lacey Evans

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Bayley defeated Nikki Cross to retain the title

Loved it:

@SonyaDevilleWWE almost went there! #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/7YsIcy1Hu3

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) August 1, 2020

Sonya’s Surprise – She’s back and not done messing with Mandy Rose! Deville’s dominance continues as she not only beats on Rose, but mocks up her make-up and cuts her blonde locks too! It’s one of this year’s best feuds and I’m glad it is back on as we head to SummerSlam. I’m guessing we get a Hair vs. Hair Match coming soon.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED? #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/qxUW17RjOk

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) August 1, 2020

Firefly Fun House and more – It was stale and then awesome! At the beginning, we’re asking ourselves how many times is Bray Wyatt going to tell us no one is safe when “he,” The Fiend is set free? When’s the last time The Fiend, or Wyatt for that matter, did anything heinous as when he first started out? Then, to end the night, he’s out there giving the mandible claw to Alexa Bliss! Awesome! It’s only a matter of time before she’s trying to turn Braun Strowman in person, right?! Well done!

Solid:

Stay classy, @AJStylesOrg! #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/PsNVaHoriq

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) August 1, 2020

AJ’s Title Match – Nobody really tough Gran Metalik would beat AJ Styles for the I-C Title, but we knew it would be a good match. And that it was. A very solid way to kick-off the night.

BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! BIG E ROCKS! #SmackDown pic.twitter.com/R0YbD2s3ny

— WWE on FOX (@WWEonFOX) August 1, 2020

Big E – The build to a possible title run in the future begins now for the biggest member of The New Day. A nice victory over The Miz, who seems to be there to put people over at the moment, is a decent way to get things going without Kofi Kingston and Xavier Woods. It is kind of odd though how Michael Cole and Corey Graves act like Big E has never wrestled singles before and won. He’s a former NXT and Intercontinental Champion.

Bayley vs. Nikki Cross – A good back-and-forth match that was really never in doubt. Of course, it did get us to plant another seed in the Cross/Alexa Bliss splitting and The Fiend’s attack on Bliss. So, in that, it did its job.

Building the Kingdom?

King Corbin – Is the King about to build a band of merry men around him? Corbin was courting Shorty G Friday night and I’m sure he’s not done. I like the idea of KC being the leader of a not-so-sunshine band.

SummerSlam – Updated Card

WWE Championship Match: Drew McIntyre vs. Randy Orton

RAW Tag Team Championship Match: The Street Profits vs. Andrade & Angel Garza

Parting Shots:

Moving on – Just in case you were wondering where some of those who left the WWE have gone to these days, here’s an update. The Good Brothers, Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows have joined Eric Young, EC3 and Heath Slater in Impact Wrestling. Matt Cardona (a/k/a Zack Ryder) is now with AEW. Lio Rush wrestling this past weekend for GCW.

Coming up this week:

RAW: Drew McIntyre & Asuka respond to attacks

NXT: Triple Threat Match for spot in the North American Title Ladder Match at TakeOver: XXX – Oney Lorcan vs. Damian Priest vs. Ridge Holland Rhea Ripley vs. Dakota Kai – winner gets a shot at NXT Women’s Championship at TakeOver: XXX NXT Tag Team Championship Match: Imperium vs. The Undisputed Era

SMACKDOWN: TBD

Thanks for letting us share our thoughts! Shoot me an email at jcrowe567@gmail.com. We’d love to hear your comments and suggestions! You can also check out my blog, The Crowe’s Nest as we delve into more pro wrestling, sports entertainment and the World of Sports. My apologies ahead of time – I AM a Patriots, Red Sox, Celtics and Bruins fan! If you’re not down with that, I’ve got TWO WORDS for you… NEW ENGLAND

[jouska-the-deer]

The Sonic Twitter Takeover and Sonadow

I was originally going to make an angry rant about this subject because I seriously have some anger issues I need to figure out, but I’ve since cooled down with a hot cup of tea and decided to try and come at this from a level-headed point of view. 

So on Friday, there was a Twitter Takeover where Mike Pollock, Roger Craig Smith, and Kirk Thornton responded to people’s questions on the Sonic Twitter as Eggman, Sonic, and Shadow respectively. Most of the responses were well received and generally found to be funny, but a couple responses have caused some people to become upset. I just thought I’d try and explain what went on for everyone who is either upset, upset that people are upset, or just completely and utterly confused as to what’s happening. I’d also like to say what I think about this situation.

First of all, here are the responses I was referring to:

https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/926534883421196288

https://twitter.com/sonic_hedgehog/status/926552296158199808

I’ve decided to also type down exactly what the characters said in those Tweets so everything is clear and easy to understand for everybody. 

First Tweet

Shadow: Oh, this is a good one. At JoannaWhiteRose asks, “to Sonic, I have a challenge for you. Tell me how much you like Amy, and what you like in her.”

Eggman: Oh yeah, Sonic, tell us what you like about that other hedgehog, Amy.

Sonic: No, no, guys can we j- c-can we just not do this right now. I mean- I mean there’s lots of other questions like-

Shadow: (In an incriminating tone) What Sonic? Are you embarrassed? 

Eggman: (Laughs) He’s totally embarrassed. Oh! I just got a message here from Infinite. It’s a file called, “Son-a-dow”

Sonic: (Urgently) No don’t open that!

Second Tweet

Eggman: Cassidy12 0 5 ... that’s a lot of numbers now, asks, “Shadow, what do you think about, Sonadow.” 

Shadow: One word Cassidy, “No.”

In the first Tweet, Shadow and Eggman make fun of Sonic by accusing him of being embarrassed, then Eggman gets sent the file titled, “Sonadow”. Sonic immediately tells him to not open the file in an urgent tone. During the entirety of the response, it can be guessed that Sonic was extremely embarrassed, given the way he was talking, and likely became more embarrassed when Eggman received the Sonadow file since he already knew what Sonadow was, and Shadow was standing next to him. 

In the second Tweet, Shadow is simply asked what he thinks about Sonadow, and he replies simply, “No.” He doesn’t say much(duh) but it can be guessed that he doesn’t like Sonadow. And again, he was standing right next to Sonic.

It can be easily seen that these Tweets share a common theme of Sonadow being brought up, and a character displaying a negative reaction to it. From what I’ve seen, what has most people upset is the fact that Sonadow is a gay ship, and the fact that the characters respond negatively to the mention of it can insinuate a negative opinion on being gay in general. Another reason I’ve seen for people being upset about these Tweets is that the characters’ negative responses to Sonadow can insinuate a negative opinion on the ship itself. 

I’d like to mention that the voice actors likely did not have much to do with the creation of the responses they gave. As Aaron Webber said in this Tweet: “We have teams reading, writing, recording, editing, and finally responding for every tweet we post.” Mike Pollock, Roger Craig Smith, and Kirk Thornton were likely handed a script that a team of writers wrote and had little say in what their responses would be.

Now that I’ve said that, I’d like to get to what everyone’s been saying, that those Tweets were homophobic and/or against Sonadow shippers. Keep in mind that I’m only discussing those two Tweets and that I’m trying my best to see things from everyone’s point of view. 

Alright. Do I think those Tweets were homophobic? 

No. In order for something to be homophobic, it has to show a dislike or prejudice against gay people, and nowhere do I see anything along those lines. All the discomfort the characters show is for the ship Sonadow, which, while it is a gay ship, I don’t believe that fact is the reason the characters are showing discomfort. The most likely cause for Sonic and Shadow’s dislike of the ship is that they are a part of it. From their points of view, they are being shipped with their rival, who is standing with them in the current moment. From personal experience, it is extremely embarrassing and uncomfortable when people talk about you and your friend being romantically involved, especially if you’re uncomfortable with the idea of romance in general, which Sonic and Shadow likely are. 

Now, I understand why people would think these Tweets are homophobic. Sonadow is a gay ship after all, and out of all the questions they could have answered, they chose two Sonadow questions to answer and wrote the characters having a negative response to them. 

One, I believe that they shouldn’t have chosen any shipping related questions to answer, especially any related to LGBT ships since they are an especially touchy subject for people. The shipping community can get very heated, and I think it would be best if they didn’t mess with it, for both their sakes and the community’s. But, I doubt they had any ill intentions by picking those questions to answer. It’s most likely that they saw those questions as an opportunity to make a joke that Sonic fans could laugh at, and didn’t think about how it could be negatively received. 

Two, I don’t believe these Tweets show they have a negative opinion of gay people at all. The negative responses that Sonic and Shadow gave were likely written like that to keep them in character, and I’d bet that if one of them was a girl and Sonadow was a straight ship, they still would have responded the same way since their discomfort wasn’t about Sonadow being a gay ship. I do understand that many people are very connected to this ship, but I doubt that any of the writers meant to personally attack them, or anyone who is gay.

Next. Do I think those Tweets were against Sonadow shippers?

Again, no. Not really. I mean, the Tweets only consisted of the characters reacting to questions. Of course they’d react negatively. Imagine knowing that thousands of people on the internet draw pictures of you and your friend kissing(and doing other stuff). Wouldn’t that make you at least a little uncomfortable? Well, I guess for some people it wouldn’t, but for a lot of people, it would. I think Sonic and Shadow’s reactions made sense for their characters given the situations they were in. 

I guess you could say that responding to Sonadow questions negatively at all is where it could feel like they’re against shippers, but again, I’m betting that they just chose those questions because they saw an opportunity to make a joke for the fans to enjoy. Nothing malicious. It’s like one of those things where the characters portrayed don’t necessarily represent the views of the people running the whole thing. 

Also, making jokes about certain ships is not something new that they’ve done. They’ve made fun of Sonic’s relationship with Elise many times in the past, and Sonic has constantly been shown to dislike Amy’s advances towards him. Heck, there was an episode of Sonic Boom (Spoilers for “The Biggest Fan”)that parodied Stephen King’s Misery where Sonic was held hostage by a crazy fan named Mark the Tapir and forced to read his fanfiction with him. One of the fics that was brought up was a Sonamy fic, which Mark said he didn’t like but felt was “obligatory in the genre”. I doubt that in any of those cases they meant personal offense to any Sonic fans that enjoyed those ships and only wanted to make lighthearted jokes. 

In conclusion

I don’t believe those Tweets were homophobic, and they were likely not intended to be seen as personal attacks on Sonadow shippers or gay people. 

Yes, Sonic and Shadow probably don’t like the idea of Sonadow, but considering that it involves people drawing and writing them being in romantic situations together, it’s understandable why they feel that way. And that has nothing to do with the ship being gay since they would have likely reacted the same way for any ship they’re involved in gay or not. Also, I don’t believe that their opinions are definitely shared by the people who wrote them. 

Those questions were likely chosen to be answered because it was an opportunity to make jokes and have fun, but I feel like it wasn’t a good idea to pick them due to how intense the shipping community can be and the fact that it’s easy to offend someone when dealing with LGBT subjects. 

Overall, I think a lot of people could have handled this situation better. The Sonic Twitter shouldn’t have dipped its toes into Sonadow or shipping in general since shipping is a very personal subject for many people, and some Sonadow shippers could have taken the Tweets a little less personally since it isn’t likely that the Sonic Twitter would try and attack its fans. 

And whether you ship Sonic with Shadow, Amy, delicious chili dogs, or all of the above, as long as you’re being nice and not hurting anybody, don’t let anything stop you from having fun. 

[aion-rsa]

The Legacy of Batman: Tom King, Kevin Conroy, and Scott Snyder on the Dark Knight

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This year, we talked to Tom King, Kevin Conroy, Bruce Timm, Scott Snyder, Jock, and Pete Tomasi about why Batman still matters.

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It all began with two shots in the dark, pearls spilling onto the blood-soaked cement. No, it all started when the bat crashed through the window. Actually, it was when the boy fell into the cave. Maybe it was that hostile takeover at Apex Chemicals? Dozens of stories have shaped the legend of the Batman over his 80-year history, tales that have made the Caped Crusader arguably the most iconic character in comic book history, rivaled only by Superman.

When Bill Finger and Bob Kane put pen and pencil to paper for 1939's Detective Comics #27, they had no way of knowing that they were creating a new American myth that would captivate readers and movie audiences for decades to come. They certainly didn't expect their first Batman adventure, "The Case of the Chemical Syndicate," to spawn 973 more issues of Detective Comics, let alone become a blockbuster franchise featuring movies, TV series, video games, and McDonald's Happy Meals. 

But what bigger testament to the long-lasting appeal of Batman than March’s Detective Comics #1000, written and drawn by some of the best creators in the business? The giant-sized, 96-page issue featured stories by legends such as as Dennis O'Neil, Neal Adams, Steve Epting, Christopher Priest, Jim Lee, Kelley Jones, Paul Dini, Brian Michael Bendis, Warren Ellis, and Geoff Johns as well as the current custodians of the Bat-mythos -- Tom King, Tony S. Daniel, Peter J. Tomasi, Doug Mahnke, Joelle Jones, Scott Snyder, and Greg Capullo. And that's not even including the excellent covers by Jim Steranko, Bernie Wrightson, Bruce Timm, Frank Miller, Jock, Tim Sale, and more. 

Batman is only the second DC superhero to reach such a massive milestone, the other being the Man of Steel. What is it about this character hellbent on avenging the death of his parents night after night that has kept him at the forefront of our pop culture?

“I think what makes him deeply enduring is that it’s a really primal folk tale,” Scott Snyder, who’s been writing Batman stories since 2011, says. “It’s a story about a boy who loses everything and turns that loss into fuel to make sure that what happened to him never happens to anybody else.”

While most of us aren't billionaire playboys with the resources to fight crime on a global (and sometimes cosmic) level, we understand pain, both emotional and physical, and a need to rise above it, even if we can't always do that. We sympathize with Bruce's biggest regret -- if only he hadn't made his parents take him to see that Zorro movie; if only he hadn't been frightened by the opera; if only he'd been braver and faster as the thug pulled the trigger. For Bruce, his crusade to stop evildoers comes down to replaying that single fateful moment over and over again and making possible a different outcome.

Yet, Batman perseveres despite all of this pain, which is why people flock to the character, according to Snyder. 

"It's a story of triumph over your worst fears, worst tragedy, and about taking your loss and turning it into a win," the writer says. "There's just this kind of power to him that speaks to our own potential, the human potential, even when we're challenged by things that seem insurmountably horrible." 

Snyder has spent the better part of a decade showcasing Batman as a symbol of hope for the citizens of Gotham, putting him through the ringer, reopening old wounds while also making new ones -- the writer even killed the hero off at one point -- just so that he can pick himself up again and keep fighting. 

But the character isn't driven solely by tragedy. Who could hang with a downer like that for 80 years? 

"There are the fun elements, of course, that are similar to James Bond, like the gadgets, and the cars, and the planes, and just the cool factor of his costume."

Tom King, who recently wrapped up an 85-issue run on Batman and currently has a Batman/Catwoman miniseries in the works, looks back to the character's real-life point of origin as the reason he has stood the test of time.

"You have to go back to the moment of creation with him. You've got [Bob Kane and Bill Finger], the children of immigrants, so we're like, what, 1938, '39, we're in Manhattan. And at that time, I mean, go back and look at the pictures, Batman was created like 20 blocks from Madison Square Garden where they had a Nazi rally that attracted a hundred thousand people. They were marching in the streets."

These tumultuous times shaped the fabric of Batman, according to King.

"[Kane and Finger] were living here and their literal cousins and grandparents were getting killed in Europe, right? And they created something uniquely American. Batman succeeds because there's something genuinely beautifully American about it."

According to Batman: The Animated Series voice actor Kevin Conroy, Batman’s continued popularity goes back to something primal. To the classically trained actor who was immortalized as the voice of Batman in the ‘90s cartoon, the Caped Crusader is a modern retelling of myths and stories humans have been passing down for thousands of years.

“He’s such a theatrical character,” Conroy says, admitting he was at first hesitant to audition for the role. At the time, he was a theater actor who'd never done an animated role. But when he read the script, the character clicked. Conroy recognized this story. “They were absolutely right to cast a theater actor, especially one with a classical background, because this is Shakespeare. They’re doing high drama. Batman is Achilles. He’s Orestes. He’s Hamlet.”

The tragic Greek character Orestes, in particular, was on Conroy’s mind when playing Batman. By that point, he’d performed several plays as Orestes, a son who avenges his father’s murder and goes mad because of it. By the end of the story, Orestes has gone through hell and back because of his thirst for vengeance. Naturally, Conroy brought that familiarity with Orestes to his portrayal of Batman.

“He’s a Homeric hero,” Conroy says of the Caped Crusader. “I think of it often when I’m doing Batman because Orestes is haunted by the Furies. He descends into hell. He comes back. He’s resurrected at the end, and I think so often, this is a very Orestial-like journey that Bruce Wayne goes on. His Furies are the memory of his parents’ murder. It haunts him through his life. It’s transformed him."

Conroy calls Batman a “classic character.” Like Orestes before him, Batman has become the protagonist of our very own mythology.

“He’s come out of such a fire and instead of letting life crush him, he turns that metamorphosis into something even greater than himself,” Conroy says. “They’ve been telling that story for thousands of years in different cultures, and this is our culture’s way of telling those stories, and I think they’re just as valid.”

Bruce Timm, who co-created Batman: The Animated Series and designed the show's iconic Art Deco aesthetic, is unsurprisingly most taken by Batman's look. 

"I just think Batman looks great," Timm says during our chat at NYCC in 2018. "He's got the best costume motif in comics. Nothing comes close. He's dark, sexy, and broody. It's really intoxicating and compelling in a way that almost no other in comics can come close to it."

He also admires the durability of the character through the different eras of comics, from the Golden Age, to the sillier '50s and '60s stories of the Comics Code era, to the darker takes we're more accustomed to today. 

"It is amazing to me how flexible he is as a character. That you could have something as silly as the Adam West show or the old '50s comics, and then you have stuff like Neal Adams and Frank Miller and what we did. And you know, even more extreme, [Grant Morrison and Dave McKean's graphic novel] Arkham Asylum and things like that. And yet their all kind of the same character. It's like that character can encompass all of those different things. He can do space aliens and serial killers, you know? Yet, it kind of works."

This flexibility has allowed plenty of writers and artists to experiment with the Dark Knight, creating different versions of the character over the years. There really isn't a definitive take on Batman. You can love the Batusi, Bat-Mite, or Mr. Freeze's cool party and still be right on the money about the Caped Crusader. You'd be remiss to call the character stale. The guy has done it all.

"It's almost like he's a force of nature, in which stories can happen around him, and there's something primordial, maybe, about the character and the way he looks, as well," says veteran Batman artist Jock, who most recently worked on a seven-part miniseries with Snyder called The Batman Who Laughs. "You could put Batman in a new pose, and he'd still flourish, and I think those kinds of characters are very rare."

Peter J. Tomasi, who is currently writing Detective Comics, puts it best:

"He's a character who can work across all genres. Somehow, someway, he can simply fit into every story, be it a war story, a western, a love story, a comedic angle, sci-fi, horror, fantasy, you name it, and of course any detective story you can possibly imagine."

Superheroes won't always be at the top of our pop culture food chain. It's inevitable that many of the characters we love today will fade with future generations, just as the Shadow, Doc Savage, Zorro, and the Scarlet Pimpernel did. Will we still be talking about Batman in another 80 years? We may eventually embrace new forms of familiar myths, becoming obsessed with new idols. But only a fool would bet against a character who's survived as long as Batman has. Remember, the Batman always wins.

John Saavedra is an associate editor at Den of Geek. Read more of his work here. Follow him on Twitter @johnsjr9 and make sure to check him out on Twitch.

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[geekade]

WILW: Predictions - NXT Takeover Chicago

Well, here we are once again, with another weekend chock full of wrestling. In addition to being my daughters' birthday weekend, WWE will bring to us not one but two special events; Backlash and Takeover Chicago. Backlash will be a fine show, what with the debut of Shinsuke Nakamura on the main roster and a match between AJ Styles and Kevin Owens. However, Takeover, in my opinion anyway, will be the highlight of the two. So without further ado, here are my predictions for how the card will play out.

A recent addition to the card, this match should be a damn fine showcase for Mr. Strong. NXT has done a solid job building him up these last few weeks and his number one contender's match against Hideo Itami was excellent. Strong is about as good as it gets in the ring and could very well be NXT champion in short order. Eric Young is very good too, and has really put in work as the leader of Sanity. I'm expecting a damn good match from these two that will end with some manner of shenanigans from the rest of Sanity setting up some matches down the line. Prediction: Eric Young

  I've already written about Tyler Bate for this column so my feelings are well documented. I'm all in. at just 19 years old, this kid has already got everything going for him. He's the complete package, as evidenced by the fact that WWE saw fit to make him the very first UK champ. Standing opposite him will be Pete Dunne, the man he beat for said championship. Dunne is also very young and very, very good. He is a phenomenal heel and is only getting better. Their first match was fantastic and I am positive that this one will be as well. This very well may be match of the weekend which is saying something considering the rest of this card and Backlash. I'm torn as to where this will go though so my prediction is more of a gut feeling than anything else. Prediction: Pete Dunne

The day will come when Asuka will lose a match in NXT and the NXT Women's championship. Today will not be that day. The story is there for Ember Moon to eventually take the belt from her. Ember, who was originally scheduled to be in this match before getting injured, is the perfect choice to dethrone the empress. But, with the Women's tournament coming this summer, and the relative newness of both Riot and Cross, this one seems a solid W for Asuka in a good match. Prediction: Asuka

   For two guys with no experience two or so years ago, the AOP have made incredible strides in their in-ring work and overall storytelling. These two dudes certainly look the part, (the part of giant fucking monsters), and play their roles well. #DIY on the other hand, have been in the game for a bit now. Both Johnny Gargano and Tomasso Ciampa have tons of experience on the indies and have been putting in solid work in NXT. Their time as a tag team may be coming to an end soon as both are better off as singles competitors. My guess is that Ciampa will turn on Gargano at some point, maybe even this weekend. He is nursing an injury though so maybe not. Either way, this match is a huge test for the AOP. Ladder matches are a ton of fun when done right and these teams do have very good chemistry. I'm hyped for this match and you should be too, Prediction: AOP

  The main event of the evening for the NXT championship sees Bobby Roode take on Hideo Itami in what is an almost make or break moment for him. Itami has been signed to NXT for about two years, give or take, but has been injured for most of that time. When he was first signed, he was the biggest Japanese star to make the jump to WWE. Then Shinsuke Nakamura made the jump and Itami was almost an afterthought. But, now healthy, Itami needs a big showing if there is any hope of salvaging his WWE prospects. The story of him beating Roode in Chicago with the GTS, his move originally but arguably made more famous by Chicago's own CM Punk, is almost too good to be true. Roode though, is fresh into establishing himself as the face of NXT. He was a big deal in TNA and a guy many thought would work in WWE, but he needs to really make a name for himself before he gets the call up. Now, I know what I want to happen. I want Itami to hit Roode with the GTS and then the lights to go out, only to come back on with Adam Cole (baybay) standing in the ring leading to a superkick for Itami and a win for Roode. Cole is a free agent and is WWE bound at some point. Why not now? Will it happen? Who knows really. There are so many ways this could go. I honestly have no idea. Prediction: Roode

So there it is. A really nice card with some really solid matches. Follow me on twitter, @geekadedan, and let me know what you think. And join me next week as we look at another reason to love wrestling. Until then....

[squaredcirclesirens]

REVIEW: All In 2018

Hello dear friends! This past weekend was a huge weekend for independent wrestling, and there is no denying the success that All In 2018 was. Beyond seeing Cody Rhodes becoming the NWA Champion, The Young Bucks and Ibushi winning the main event, and even Chris Jericho making an appearance it was the women, in my opinion, who truly stole the show.

Before we get in to the All In main show, we started at All In Zero Hour with what was the “Over Budget Battle Royal” which included Jordynne Grace. The winner of this match would face Jay Lethal for the ROH World Championship.

Jordynne hits a quick low-pe suicida on Trent Baretta after he takes out Bully Ray on the floor. Jordynne is then taken down by a huge pump kick from Ethan Page. Jordynne makes her presence known again when we get down to what is presumably the final four (its actually five as Flip Gordon is still on the outside and never thrown out, but hey, we’re focused on Jordynne). And this time Jordynne is going toe to toe with Brian Cage, which is no easy feat. But Jordynne doesn’t back down, and ends up lifting Brian Cage onto her shoulders, she can’t keep him up and ends up getting thrown in the air behind Cage for her troubles and then getting a buckle bomb. Cage charges the corner but Jordynne ducks and raises Cage up on the ropes and takes him down with a huge running corner powerbomb and the crowd pops! Jordynne then charges Cage as he rises and clotheslines him over the top for the elimination! The crowd goes crazy. Bully Ray stands behind Jordynne after the elimination. Jordynne then turns behind to Bully Ray who seems to get ready to chop Jordynne Grace but ends up raking her eyes. Jordynne fights him off as they fight on the top rope and along with Colt Cabana hits a diving headbutt to the Groin region of Bully Ray. Jordynne goes to try and Eliminate Bully but he turns it and eliminates Grace.

Even though she doesn’t win the Battle Royal, Jordynne truly shined making it to the final four, and if you haven’t seen the Gif of Jordynne powerbombing Brian Cage, it’s on Twitter, promise.

Before we get to the big fatal four way, shout out also to Brandi Rhodes, who made her presence felt in the NWA Title Match. She ran in the ring as Nick Aldis went for a top rope elbow and protected Cody, taking the huge elbow drop to the back as Aldis looked to try and finish off Cody. The crowd instantly booing Aldis. She later comes back in the ring to celebrate with Cody as he wins the NWA World Title

Brandi clearly shines in big spots and this was a big moment. The crowd, clearly behind Cody, was also behind Brandi and this was quite the spot to take!

We also get to see Penelope Ford who gets involved (and shines) in the Chicago Street Fight of Adam Page vs Joey Janela. During the match, Penelope enters to ring standing toe to toe with Adam Page. Page tries to clothesline her but she bends backward matrix style as Page misses. He tries again, but Penelope does the same matrix evasion and when Page turns around Penelope nails a huge stunner to Page who roles out of the ring. But Penelope isn’t done. She climbs to the top and dives down with a huge cross body to Page on the floor as the crowd pops! Penelope yells out to the crowd before hitting some hard shots on Page and putting him on the table so Janela can hit an elbow off the top through the table.

Penelope Ford is a star, whether she is with Janela, on her own, or in any kind of tag match, the crowd gets behind her and rightfully so! Penelope is blowing up to be a big star and a spot she rightfully deserves.

But that lead us to our big women’s match of the show. Chelsea Green vs (Doctor) Britt Baker vs Tessa Blanchard vs Madison Rayne. First of all, lets talk about them getting 12 minutes of actual wrestling. My goodness, and did these women deliver. To give you the entire play by play would be far too long, so please, go watch it. But a few highlights for you:

Right from the beginning, characters truly shined as Madison Rayne offered handshakes to everyone. Chelsea Green, who is half hot mess, LVN style, and half Chelsea Green we typically see, is already brilliant as the “nice side” tries to shake Madison’s hand but the “hot mess” side fights it. After eventually shaking Madison’s hand, Madison goes to shake Tessa’s hand but is met with a forearm kicking off the match showing Tessa isn’t anything to mess with.

Britt and Chelsea primarily start the match as Madison and Tessa fight on the outside and these two work so well together. Chelsea continues the character as she walks the rope and flaunts to the crowd before coming down with a huge arm drag to a huge crowd reaction.

Tessa is back in shortly after with Madison and lifts Madison in a huge gorilla press before sending her over the top onto Chelsea and Britt on the floor. Chelsea rushes back in and nails a beautiful tope suicida and Madison tops it off with a huge diving cross body to all the competitors on the floor.

The match continues with beautiful sequences and near falls that all of the women get and honestly what makes this match even more beautiful is you honestly don’t know who is going to win, but you know that all of them have had the opportunity. This includes a beautiful sequence of a curbstomp and unprettier from Chelsea to Madison that is followed up with a superkick from Britt to Chelsea who is then caught by a magnum from Tessa Blanchard who then gets caught with a superkick from Britt. I honestly thought that was it, but Chelsea kicks out of Britt’s pin attempt.

After a beautiful crucifix bomb from Madison to Tessa, an unprettier from Chelsea to Britt and a huge diving cutter from Madison to Tessa on the top then a huge canadian destroyer from Chelsea to Tessa, these women rightfully get the “This is Awesome” chant. In the end, it is Madison with a Hammerlock DDT to Madison Rayne to get the pinfall and pick up a huge victory.

A couple of huge takeaways: 1) I didn’t watch All In live. But watching all of this back, I almost wish I would have. The women on this show truly delivered, even if they weren’t official competitors in the matches. Jordynne, Penelope and Brandi all had shining moments that people are still talking about on Twitter and deserve all of that success.

2) This may have been the best four way match I have ever seen. I was a huge fan of the TakeOver Four way between the four hoursewomen, but this was a whole new level. The transitions in this match were seamless, and made sense. Sometimes in multi-women matches you see someone awkwardly leaving the ring or waiting on the outside as others battle in the ring, but these women were impeccable in having a great multi-woman match that flowed so well and was truly captivating the entire time.

3) When you give them this space, the women will deliver. Jordynne having that big moment with Brian Cage was incredible. Penelope getting the offense on Adam Page was exciting and showed her true star potential. Brandi taking the hit for Cody brought an incredible story to a match that already had a great story. And the four women in the four way truly laid it all on the line from the countless dives and huge spots that you don’t get to see often, and they all did it perfectly.

4) The four way competitors showed that you can have a four way match where all of the women are viable contenders and truly can give you a huge match feel as well as allowing their characters to shine! Britt looked incredible, and has such a fast paced and fun offense that you just have to get behind her. Madison showed why she is that in-ring vet but still continues to evolve in a way where she shines and continues to make herself such a credible threat in everything she does. Tessa Blanchard truly impressed with her true all around offense, from the military press to the magnum, you don’t know how Tessa will strike, but you know she will do it, and it will be incredible and effective. Chelsea Green is a star. I simply have no other way to write it. From the incredible offense that is quick, effective, and show-stopping, on top of an incredible character, no wonder the crowd was behind her.

All in All (pun intended), All in was a great showcase of wrestling especially for the women who were given incredible opportunities and truly capitalized. If you haven’t seen all in yet, you should. Jordynne, Penelope and Brandi all showed that they have true star potential. Tessa, Chelsea, Madison, and Britt put on one of, if not my favorite match of the year and each have an incredible talent that is always worth watching.

You can watch a replay of All In on Fite TV

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[teachingprogramming]

What’s wrong with online education, and how we can fix it

Online education was supposed to be the next big thing, it was supposed to strike a revolution. What went wrong, and how can we fix it?

I’m going to start by saying by online education I mean proper online courses, like the ones from Udemy, Coursera, and the Stanford online courses. There’s also a wealth of online material that can be used to learn, like one-off tutorials, forums, etc. I don’t mean those, as good as they can be.

So, online education. What happened? I remember first learning about it, and first experience it, and it was amazing.  The content online was (and still is) really, really good, maybe the best ever. You can learn directly from the people who have, and are, shaping the industry. You have these amazing, short, informative, videos that you can watch, rewind, and rewatch for days. There are question and answers from other confused students, where you can see how other people overcame the same problems you had. There are inline exercises, assignments homework, everything you need to practice your new skills. On top of that, you can learn from these online courses anywhere. From home. On the bus. In bed. At work, even.

Problems

Given all of that, if online courses are so amazing, why doesn’t anybody finish them? As a thought exercise, how many people do you know have successfully completed an online course? How many have started one?

The problems withe online education aren’t really with the online part, with the technological part, the problems are human. I mean, everyone (mostly everyone?) who takes an online course is a human. We’re always going to be human of course, we can’t change that, so instead of fighting our foibles and our natural weaknesses we need to work with them, make them work for us. But I’ve gotten ahead of myself…

The major reason that only on average 15% of students complete their online course basically it comes down to the fact that people are generally not invested enough in the course. We have a lot going on in our lives. We have to work, eat, see friends, spend time with our families, we’re all /busy/. Given all of these immensely important things, it requires a lot of discipline to put that to the side and spend time in an online course. We can tease this apart a little more, here are some specific reasons why people don’t complete online courses:

They don’t pay for them.  People who pay for online courses complete them in much higher numbers because it gives people incentive to stick round (“I just paid $100 for this, I shouldn’t waste it). When you’re looking for an online course it’s not immediately obvious what the additional value for a paid course is over a free course. Given the choice between an online course that costs money and an online course that is free (and probably still from a well known provider) most users will choose a free course.

They don’t have a real peer group. People learn much better when they have a group of peers who are there with them in real life, who push them to go further, and who kick them in the ass when they fall behind.

They don’t have someone authoritative to talk to when they get stuck. It’s all too easy to get stuck in an online course, and when it happens there’s often no one immediately available who the student can ask.

They don’t have someone who gets angry/disappointed in them when they fail/they don’t have someone who they strive to impress (it’s human nature!)

All of these reasons could be summed like this: “People aren’t invested enough in their online course”.

What a waste! There’s all these amazing online resources out there, designed expertly from the ground up to teach you important skills, it’s an opportunity our parents never had! Yet somehow the human factor is stopping us from taking full advantage of this.

We can fix this, and, to be honest, it’s pretty simple. To solve online education we need to solve the problems I listed above, the things that prevent us from getting invested in our course. Those problems above come from our very nature. We need a fix that takes advantage of human nature, one where:

You have a real peer group.  You need to be able to get to know the people you’re learning with as more than just faceless peers. This means sharing ideas, sharing jokes, and enjoying the process of learning with people you like.

You have someone there who knows what they’re doing. You need an someone who knows what they’re doing who is easily available and who can answer your questions.

You have someone to kick you in the backside if/when you start slipping (and we’ll probably slip, we’re all human after all).

You pay money. If you’re paying money for this course, you’re much less likely to drop out.

Those are some fixes! I can hear you saying “He’s tricking me, that sounds a lot like traditional university” all the way from over here!

Proposal

What I’m talking about is not traditional university, it’s not an online course, it’s an online course with an associated offline meetup.

Let me tell you how it could work, using the Stanford intro to AI course as an example (I mean come one, who doesn’t want to be on top of the impending AI takeover?!). This is one of the most popular online courses ever. They run it every three months, and it lasts for three months.

Organise an offline meet up group to take the offline course. I’d recommend starting a meetup.com group and then heading to local meet ups to ask if anyone’s interested in a) taking the course with you, and b) if there’s anyone there who could be the expert to guide you through. Once you’ve got your group of 5-10 people together it’s time to make it official.

All of the students puts in €300 or so to pay the expert and for the online course if it costs money.

Once the course starts meet up twice a week in the evenings (from experience, I’d suggest Monday and Thursday evenings to give you a rest in-between). Have the expert go through the more difficult exercises that were in the course in the past week, or exercises of their own that they’ve come up with. Work in small groups to solve these problem, ask the expert for guidance and help and to explain any concepts that you don’t quite get.

Come up with some sort of fun penalty for anyone who misses a class or hasn’t done the exercises. In the past I’ve had a pot in the middle of the table, and if you miss a class or don’t do the exercises from the online course you have to put money into the pot, then at the end of the course take that money and spend it on a little celebratory party for the whole group (🎉).

Keep doing this for the rest of the course.

Three months after starting, gaze lovingly at your graduation sticker, enjoy your celebratory party, and rejoice in the knowledge that you’ve learnt enough to survive the impending AI takeover.

“Ok, you’re right, that was pretty simple actually.” Thank you.

The key is realising that it’s really easy to forget that you’ve signed up for an online course. It’s easy to let it slip one day, because you’re tired. We’re human like that. Once we accept that it’s a motivation problem, the solution is to turn one of our biggest weaknesses into a motivator: *peer pressure*. Surround yourself with peers who are learning the same topic, let your innate desire to not let yourself down in front of them, to not let the group down power you to greater success.

Online courses are a potential goldmine, and now you know how to make the most of them.

Thanks for reading this far, if you want to get in touch you can find me on twitter @nick_dowse, and if anyone’s keen on learning the Stanford AI101 course starting in September join this meet up group and lets make it happen: www.meetup.com.

[massmurdera]

Favorite Podcasts 2016

I have a data entry job in a lab processing bodily fluids. I hate the monotonous job, but one perk of the job is I get to listen to podcasts 40 hours/week,  time flies by, and I feel somewhat productive.

PERSONAL OPINIONS… -podcasts are best done between 2 people, preferably comedian friends. Sometimes, there can be too many cooks in the kitchen (Filmdrunk Frotcast, for instance, runs into this) -it’s usually best in person: you can sense that in some podcasts where they do it via Skype or on the phone -I avoid local sports talk radio like the plague—so you don’t get blowhards with hot takes/talking points where they have to have controversy to get ratings. Generally, everybody on podcasts gets along, it’s natural, funnier, and doesn’t fill hours. -while I don’t think some of these podcast comedians will ever become household names, they are doing some of the best work out there that’s ever been done comedically. It’s like Howard Stern and what Chris Rock said and I’m going to fuck this up: he might be the funniest person of all time if you compile what he did into a single hour. I feel like you could do these with a LOT of people. But they never will. -you listen long enough, it should feel like a friendship you are a part of. You know the people, get the inside jokes, and enjoy the banter. -best episodes tend to run 60 minutes or less—otherwise, it can get real bloated.

BEST EPISODES -End of World Election Night (Joe Rogan)—Bill Burr steals the live show from Stanhope, Rogan, Kreischer, etc—tour de force that came out the night of the Election while shit was going down. Burr is going for pure humor and some guests come on who have an issue with how he views things in a blunt, fair way where everything gets shit on and everything sucks: but, at the end of the day, his life is not going to be ruined. What I like about Burr is this: he will say awful things that you don’t agree with...but by the end you are on his side and laughing with him. -600 Dollar Podcast-‘Voyeur Motel’—Halpern reads out Gay Talese’s story of a guy who ran a hotel and had a secret viewing station set up above every guest’s bed and he would watch people have sex. It’s creepy, but here? Funny as hell. The ‘Back to the Future’ joke Halpern quickly gives almost made me crash on the Mass. Pike -Dollop/My Favorite Murder crossover-‘Otto in the Attic’ -Dollop does a murder w/ My Favorite Murder as guests. It is wild. -Dollop-‘Bundy 2: Oregon Takeover’ –one of the first Dollops was about Cliven Bundy, the anti-government rancher. This time, his kids took over Oregon—and, most recently, they went unpunished despite a takeover with guns. Just unreal. -Pardon My Take-‘Cat Killer Michael Rappaport’ (first part interview goes for 15 minutes or so) -Justin Halpern’s Papa Roach story on Frotcast—I was in tears at work listening to this. It helps to have been of age when Papa Roach was a thing in the late 90′s/early 2000s (Filmdrunk Frotcast; 3:30 mark on the ‘Best of 2016’: 90 second story basically)

BILL BURR’s Monday Morning Podcast (funniest comic alive mostly does a 1-man rant by himself) 2 episodes a week—1 of which is half throwback episodes

I don’t get how Burr does it: it should be impossible for Burr to carry a podcast each week by himself for an hour, but he does. He rambles for an hour, takes listener e-mail. He is THE only person I listen to advertisement readings for: he somehow makes that funny, shits on the ads who sometime remove them. But it’s like listening to a guy workshop some material and improve himself in small ways as a comic.

I will say this though: when somebody else enters the podcast, it becomes funnier. His wife, Nia. He can play ball with and you can sense him having an audience and naturally be funnier. 600 Dollar Podcast: a comedy podcast between 3 comedians/writers who talk about marriage & raising kids—but it’s totally not that at all and always goes AWOL 1 episode per week—but hasn’t been one in months Horrible title for a show—started off as ‘Wild’n’Out Without Nick Cannon’ but they got a cease and desist from Cannon’s lawyer.

Justin Halpern (Shit My Dad Says), Tommy Jonaghan (breakout guy of the show and a stand-up) and Patrick Monaghan (another TV writer)

This podcast has come the closest since Walking the Room to genuinely making me laugh out loud each week. Consistently. Great and funny stories of failure. Fucked up in the best way and goes FAR down the rabbit hole of topics.

BEST EPISODES…. #7-‘Voyeur Motel’ (Halpern’s Back to the Future joke) #11-‘It’s Called a Vagina’ (when Halpern loses his shit at the 10:15 mark) Dollop (two comedians: American history read to a friend who has no idea what the topic is about. Point is, you realize America has NEVER been great and it’s supremely and endlessly fucked up) Walking the Room is my favorite podcast ever. Laugh-out loud funny friendship and THE best and funniest take on unending failure and, like Patton Oswalt said, being a shit-magnet for people/things. They do live reunion ones once a year—and they generally suck and aren’t the same but I’ll take what I can get. Anyways, that podcast is over—and the Dollop, a history, took over as Dave Anthony’s main thing (He’ll do conversations with Wil Anderson on TOFOP/FOFOP that are fun and closest to Walking the Room, but it’s not the same: he’s much more relaxed/normal whereas Dave was putting on a face as someone who hated his goofy friend, Greg, part of the time and was angrier than he was—and if you follow him on Twitter, he is comically angry and outspoken)

Sometimes, the Dollop can be hit-or-miss and I tune out a bit. Within first couple minutes, I can tell if it’s going to be amazing. Gareth can improv too much at times—but when it’s on, it’s on. They’re incredibly quick and it never tires how incredulous Gareth can get to the stories to Dave’s sarcastic, nonchalant storytelling while EVERYTHING that is happening is fucked up.

I think if they could make a lot of these Dollops into movies, they would be amazing. Some Mel Brooks-ian shit. I would rather see the Dollop’s version of Hugh Glass than Leonardo DiCaprio’s version in ‘the Revenant’. The show got a nod of the head in the ‘Tickled’ documentary.

But my jaw drops at American history I didn’t know about—or to its extent—and then laugh hard. Some of it is minimal characters/events that are just funny—others are wildly serious or show parallels to today.

BEST EPISODES… -‘Otto in the Attic’ (crossover live w/ My Favorite Murder) -‘Bundy 2: Oregon Takeover’ (anything involving Cliven Bundy’s family and their anti-government militia) -Black Panther Fred Hampton’ (not a funny one—but a guy I never heard of who should have been up there with MLK/Malcolm X had he not been assassinated by the FBI/American government) -‘Girl Watchers’ -‘Domino’s Pizza Story’ -‘Philadelphia Mayor Frank Rizzo’ (pre-Trump guy) -‘Boston Busing ’74 & ’75 PT 1 & 2’

All-Time? ‘the Rube’ is the best in a runaway or me. ‘Purity Ring’, Tickled, Hugh Glass, some of the earlier ones are great.

IF YOU LIKE THIS: history’; Drunk History comedy…My Favorite Murder My Favorite Murder (true crime—one comic and her affable friend read 1 true crime murder to each other) 1 episode per week; 90 minutes-ish

True crime is all the rage—so it makes sense as to why this podcast has become insanely popular. It might be easy to shit on, in a morbid way, to go over murders in a ‘fan’ way: but it’s the same way movies/TV shows/news each night centers around murders. The show might glorify people—but there’s a common bent/theme around certain killers and their upbringings—or possible life-saving life mottos (‘fuck politeness’). I can see the show doing more positive things, giving $ to rape kits being tested (how the fuck was that NOT a thing?!?!)

I was aware of Karen Kilgarif because Dave Anthony dated her and she was a guest on Walking the Room. But it’s AMAZING when people you are vaguely aware of find their own avenue. And become stars in their own right—and people you look forward to hearing each week.

Her friend, Georgina, is just as easily likable. DEFINITELY comes across like a gossiping girly-girl (I heard that criticism), but she’s so damn cool, genuinely funny, and cute (even before I saw how pretty she was—there’s no way to describe it and you can sense it with how Karen adores/views her). It could be a really dour show OR droning in the wrong hands, but they make the topic rightfully serious but fun simultaneously in the best way. It is respectful to the victims.

But yeah, they read Wikipedia entries to each other and bring in a heavily-informed obsession to the podcast. But it’s the humor and chemistry that helps saves the show in tone. It’s not as heavily-researched as the Dollop or formatted in a natural storytelling bent, but it’s successful.

KEY EPISODES…. -Live from LA Podfest (crossover with Dave Anthony of the Dollop) -Chicago Podfest (changing point for the show: you realize that they are massive in this episode in ways they didn’t expect—with a rabid fanbase) IF YOU LIKE THIS: you’ll like the Dollop

PARDON MY TAKE (sports podcasts) 3 episodes per week; 60 minutes each I want to slap myself in the face listening to this—because these are the two best young, likable stars in comedy/sports. IT IS HARD TO DO SPORTS COMEDY DONE SUCCESSFULLY BECAUSE PEOPLE TAKE IT TO SERIOUSLY! Big Cat comes across like Jimmy Kimmel; PFTCommenter, however, steals the show—and he’s incomparable (maybe Stephen Colbert for being able to stay in character?): basically he’s born out of ‘hot-take’ culture and mocking it. There’s a format to the show, some interviews, segments.

Yes, it’s part of the Barstool Sports empire—run by douchebags (a friend of mine is cousins with Portnoy—tried getting an autograph for her boyfriend who loved Barstool Sports, he refused), but forget that.

LAUGH OUT LOUD… -Stingray Steve calls the fall of the Berlin Wall (a southern college football fan—they get him to announce each week’s big plays; when they FINALLY get him to call a key moment in history, I lost my shit at work) -Jimbo of the Week (mailbag fails from readers) -Monday Mornings after NFL games where they mimic Chris Berman’s recaps of the games

BEST EPISODE… -Catkiller Michael Rapaport (Rapaport is an actor/personality easy to shit on—but he comes across great as a podcast guest on Bill Simmons, Bill Burr, Pardon My Take: he’s game)—September 6th -Marlins Man/Foul Ball Fan (July 6th) -Martin Shkreli –when they shit on him; it’s interesting to hear them be affable/likable/funny with people they clearly hate. Marlins Man & this episode are pretty great interviews to hear how naturally funny they are, easy to get along with, even while still getting jokes in at people they hate. It’s not easy.

TOFOP & FOFOP (Australian comedian and funny actor friend poke at mostly American pop culture) -Charlie Clausen is the co-host on TOFOP -FOFOP gets its name from the show ‘Fringe’: it’s ‘Faux-TOFOP’, typically with American comedians. Dave Anthony is the best guest for FOFOP.

Wil Anderson is an Australian comic—he’s ridiculously affable, charming, and naturally funny. This is my closest substitute for Walking the Room, in a way, with its chemistry between two comics. It doesn’t come close, but that’s fine. I don’t get all the Australian references (rugby, pop culture, politics), but I don’t need to as an American—because America dominates just about every episode.

Clausen, on TOFOP, is damn likable. I can’t say enough about how naturally great Anderson/Clausen are on podcasts. It’s not just the accents that do it.

BEST EPISODES… -#263-‘Should I Go Home?’ : post-election w/ Dave Anthony I don’t think that’s right, but I’ve laughed out loud with pop culture breakdowns like Game of Thrones, Westworld, or shitting on Zach Snyder Batman/Superman movies in the funniest way I’ve heard (miles funnier than Filmdrunk-but no real format to the show) Inactives: NFL talk, fantasy football…and some parenting

In a just world, Matt Ufford should be a mammoth sports media star alongside Katie Nolan. He’s likable, outspoken, funny—plus he’s a military veteran/Captain in the Iraq War (though he does not come across as that).

So yeah, an NFL podcast with Ufford (Seahawks fan) and Nick Stevens (Pats/Star Wars fan and stand-up comedian). Stevens should be easy to hate as a stereotype of a Boston sports fan—but he’s naturally funny and likable, quick with jokes/takes on a spot.

The first episodes of 2015 are great for Matt’s all-time depressing Wal-Mart riff and Stevens’ reaction or Stevens bringing up the Butt Fumble that made me cry laughing—and Ufford lost his shit.

Also, I’ve NEVER done fantasy sports, but I still enjoy the show—most NFL show (NFL Ringer; Simmons; Barnwell) aren’t funny, have chemistry, and maybe too nerdy—this is wildly funny, enjoyable.

YOU’LL LIKE THIS: football, comedy, Star Wars

Filmdrunk Frotcast: Pop Culture, Movies, Comedy As I said, sometimes this show can have too many cooks in the kitchen. There can be 4-6 people on the show sometimes—some of whom aren’t funny or interesting like Laremy, Lindy West. Matt Lieb grew on me heavily. I found him unfunny and someone who comes across as funnier than they think and the other people on the show let him do his thing, don’t cut him off, laugh too hard, or know what to do. But he’s become a centerpiece of the show and now I don’t mind it. I dig Brendan, Joe Sincilito, and some other dude that’s been on more of late But Lieb does not really have an equal comedically to play with him, so he feels very much like an excited dog who just wants to play but could use another dog to play with. Horrible analogy, but feels right.

The show—and Uproxx, in general—hits on topics I am VERY familiar with and want to hear discussed. I hardly tend to agree with Vince Mancini’s tastes and sometimes opinions—he’s more of a critic than a comic. Lieb mostly looks for pure comedic bents and can derail the podcast, in a good way.

KEY GUESTS: Justin Halpern, PFTCommenter, Matt Ufford, Joe Sincilito SONG: Matt Lieb’s ‘Corporate Birthday’

BEST EPISODE: ‘Best of 2016’ (as an entry point, it does a good job capturing what the show does—love it or leave it. So lots of Lieb improv and made-up songs on the spot inbetween conversations)

REVISIONIST HISTORY: MALCOLM GLADWELL 10 episodes total (on hiatus)

Heavily organized and produced. I avoid boring This American Life podcasts like the plague, but Gladwell does that a bit—but better here. It’s interesting.

Best episodes: ‘Satire Paradox’; ‘Lady Vanishes’..the 3-part college episodes is an obsession and interesting political/social axe that Gladwell has to grind.

RECOMMENDED: if you like Malcolm Gladwell’s books even a little—this is otherworldly as an investigative podcast piece. It should NOT be this damn good. BILL SIMMONS (mostly sports) 2 episodes/week; 60-80 minutes each He gets shit on fairly—and sometimes over-the-top unfairly. He has a tired schtick and thoughts, a HORRIBLE voice (the opening segments on his TV show were due to be a disaster), unfunny. I don’t know how to say it: someone like Justin Halpern has a HORRIBLE voice—but he transcends that because he’s so goddamn funny. With that said, he’s talented, inspired/broke the door open for a lot of people, is a good podcast host, easy/affable enough to listen to, and has good taste. I don’t think his friends are funny or worthwhile  (House; Cousin Sal) but I enjoy Jack-O. Mike Lombardi is painfully bad—but I have to sit through it as a die-hard Pats fan since he was in the Pats organization until just a couple months ago. But he gets damn good guests every now and then.

BEST GUESTS/EPISODES: Michael Rapaport, Gladwell, Wesley Morris, Al Michaels, Robert Smigel, Jay Glazer; Key & Peele, Chris Sacca, etc, etc COMMON SENSE w/ DAN CARLIN (a historian rants about politics in a focused way) Carlin is like Burr—he does a podcast by himself for an hour and rambles a bit. Difference is, there is not a single funny bone to Carlin’s body. I agree with Filmdrunk: Carlin comes across like a Right Wing radio host in how he talks—but he’s utterly brilliant. He’s the best guy to break down history in today’s terms. I subscribe more to his thinking as a leftist political-minded person.

I still need to check out ‘Hardcore History’: I hear that’s the shit, but I don’t have time for 12-16 hour anthology pieces. I started listening to ‘Wrath of Khan’ and it’s insane, thorough, well-researched and great storytelling. It’s daunting though.

RECOMMENDED: History/political buffs—with leftist-minded thinking and rambling HOUND TALL: Educational live comedy show where an expert  talks about something and comics engage in it in a panel Basically, an expert comes in (a pimp; a woman who was in a harem; Science; Religion; etc) and a panel of comedians riff on that in a loose way. Moshe is brilliant as a host and he has good comedic guests (Pete Holmes; Joe DeRosa; John Mulaney; Natasha Legerro, etc)

SUGGEST IF YOU LIKE: education, in a weird way HANNIBAL BURRESS: HANDSOME RAMBLER Podcast is in early stages. Mainly it’s just Hannibal and his DJ chilling while Hannibal fucks around with autotune at times. He’s been having more conversations with guests lately (Chance the Rapper, for one)

Episode 2—Hannibal’s experience with Air B’n’B’s JOE ROGAN 3 episodes per week—3-4 hours each The podcast simply goes on for FAR too long (3-4 hours) and the topics meander far down the rabbit hole. But, if you’re like me and have the time, you don’t mind having to listen to a 3-4 hour conversation.

Rogan is a far-out dude, gets shit on for his opinions, lifestyle (Hunting & MMA most likely), and politically correct people (it’s overblown). But he’s an open and fair-minded dude, even if I don’t agree with him.

He’s kind of similar to Pete Holmes: long conversations, deep person—except Pete’s is maybe more focused with questions that come up in every podcast (it’s a funnier version of WTF with Marc Maron) and Holmes is just plain goofier and naturally funny. Rogan is mostly an intense dude—who has more life experience, hobbies, and skills.

BEST EPISODE: End of the World election night podcast Bill Burr steals the show from everybody, including Doug Stanhope. It’s unreal.

OTHER GUESTS: Bill Burr, Dan Carlin, Hannibal Burress, Neal Brennan

Pete Holmes: You Made it Weird (funnier, goofier, deeper Marc Maron conversations) Burr is the funniest comic alive—but Pete is probably the most insanely likable; they both should be massive. Burr does the best panel work on a night show: he’s an angry, loveable, opinionated dude, pushes buttons in a playful way. Holmes is a DEEP-thinking guy—who just is universally likable. Even his face, it’s goofy and instantly funny.

BEST GUESTS… Moshe Kasher (recent); Garry Shandling (month before he died)

SUGGEST IF YOU LIKE THIS: WTF w/ Marc Maron—if Maron was funny/looser/goofier in his interviews

WTF W/ Marc Maron Hardly interviews comics anymore since he’s nearly interviewed them all. I don’t bother to check out as much. He hasn’t had as much good interviews this year. I’ve seen him live, I think, 6 times (and 2 podcast tapings that were in Boston: first one was the best by far)

But reason why his podcast is great is that Marc isn’t a whole person, he’s finding himself—and you can sense he’s trying to make himself better and find himself with the people he’s interviewing. He’s looking for grace, understanding, and just being a better person.

Also, everybody skips the openings to all his podcasts—and just cut to the interview.

BEST INTERVIEWS… Robert Kelly (underrated: might be one of the funniest people I’ve seen live—his own podcast has great moments: him w/ Burr, DeRosa, Kreischer on Bertcast was amazing) Louis CK; Jeff Goldblum

CHAPO TRAP HOUSE Caught this only in the last week.

The Ben Shapiro takedown in the last episode of the year was great (they read passages from his awful book of the extreme conservative writer. Helps to know who he is in a way)

SUGGESTED EPISODE… -Post-Election breakdown ‘We Live in the Zone Now’: My thoughts exactly as a lefty on the election & state of politics

OPIE RADIO Anytime they release a Patrice O’Neal, Bill Burr, Louis CK, or Robert Kelly oldies, it’s special. Some of the most brutal and funny comedy ever was done on Opie & Anthony. A show as PACKED with people as, say, Filmdrunk Frotcast could use is actual comedians who are mostly all on the same level ‘funny’ as each other. Except the main thing with this show is that they bust balls in the cruelest way. Endlessly. With that said, you can easily hate the fans of the show and hate Anthony Cumia’s politics and how far-right/distant he has become (got fired from the show)—and still recognize how brilliant he was as a host. There’s a treasure trove of amazing material on Opie that you can put up with the best comedy ever. It’s the original podcast and when they re-release old shit, it’s a goldmine.

-We’ll See You in Hell w/ Joe Derosa (2 friends talk movies and shit on each other for liking or not liking certain movies: it’s Roger & Ebert basically) Derosa has a mostly HORRIBLE taste in movies.

I don’t think I could recommend this podcast to anybody unless you’ve heard him on a podcast with Pete Holmes, Bill Burr, Hound Tall, or Opie. Pete Holmes would 100% be the best (Pete’s podcast to hear Pete’s impression of Joe, Hound Tall) and Burr would be great to see how easily Burr shits on him. Otherwise, you’d just view him as an unlikable asshole.

Derosa has a couple albums out and they’re worthwhile. But there is one that he recorded that went AWOL and the crowd absolutely was drunk and derailed his special, so Joe went with, trashed his special, and just went off on the audience trashing them. It’s amazing. It’s “You Will Die” and it’s the second part of the special that was recorded and meant to be the special.

COULD GIVE UP ON AND BE COOL -Bill Barnwell (NFL podcast) -NFL Ringer -the Watch (TV/movies)

Only because I’m a big football/TV/movie fan—the hosts aren’t very good, funny, interesting or standout. I think they are good, straight-forward writers though (all formerly of Grantland). I listen to these episodes at 2x speed to make them go by faster. OVERRATED PODCASTS -Keeping It 1600 Politics podcasts from people who worked for Obama as policy advisor & speechwriter. They get insider guests/journalists. Sure, it’s mildly interesting to hear them go over current events—but it’s ultimately forgettable. Kind of smug. Jokes aren’t funny. They are inoffensive dudes and centrists. It’s a podcast for water-carrying establishment Democrats generally and I think they are blind to see at how limp and ineffectual their party is and why that is so. I guess the podcast that came after the election is interesting to listen to—and how shocked they were. They never thought it would happen—and they never thought Hillary was a horrible candidate.

I’d say the Ringer podcasts (the Watch; Simmons) the people who host the podcasts are NOT funny people at all. There’s laughter going on, but it’s never made by funny people. I like Simmons, but I can’t defend him being naturally funny the way he would like to be.

SUGGESTION: listen to Wil Anderson, an Australian comic, alongside Dave Anthony cover politics on FOFOP. I started listening to Chapo Trap House-that’s better than Keeping it 1600 and what I wanted in a politics podcast MOST DISAPPOINTING PODCASTS -Serial season 2—checked out after a couple episodes. It tried something new and failed miserably. -Deadcast –Drew Magary is the funniest online writer for a decade now, but he comes across as obnoxious and loud on podcasts. Tim Marchman? A boring contrarian killjoy. They go over topics I enjoy hearing about though, but I gave up. Also, they do it via Skype, so it misses some chemistry of podcasts that do it in person.

DON’T LISTEN TO ENOUGH BUT THINK ARE GOOD -Chelsea Peretti (Bill Burr episode is great—but that podcast has like 3 episodes a year) -Guys We Fucked -My Brother My Brother & Me (3 brothers, comedy—and I heard their Dungeons & Dragons podcast Adventure Zone is great—but I’m not into that game) -Sklarbro Country (Sports + comedy) -Todd Glass (Patton Oswalt as a guest was amazing a year or so ago)

PODCASTS I PLAN ON CHECKING OUT MORE IN 2017 -Chapo’s Trap House -Dan Carlin’s Hardcore History