#I know that Dude cites his ex-wife not being into him as he transitioned as why their marriage failed

[oglegoggle]

I legit cared about him deeply. I worked on myself so much to be a better partner to him and for him. He did not put in the same work to be better to me and for me. I fixed my fuckups in our relationship, he “forgot” about his in short order and guilt tripped me whenever I made him take accountability. He broke my $600 antique lamp. He broke my dryer. He broke six different bongs. He broke the washer too. He let his cat piss on everything and let the laundry mold in the basement. He let my $110 body pillow to keep my bones from hurting go moldy and put me on a guilt trip for the expense to replace it (the one singular thing of mine he destroyed I made him replace). He broke nice antique dishes he knew were important to me. He put a hole in a painting my friend did for me. He ran my car into the neighbor’s truck. He piled up months of old litter multiple times even after I told him to cut that shit out. He broke so many of my dishes fuck. He would not do chores on his own nor would he do them when told and the rare instances I could get him to actually do chores he would fuck them up and destroy my things in the act. We lived in absolute filth because he and his pets created so much mess it was too much for me to keep up with and he did not contribute to the cleaning literally at all.

My fuckups were getting his car stuck in the mud at the bottom of a shitty country road (which I was able to get back out after a couple hours when the mud solidified), not locking his bike to the fence and it got stolen (I gave him a new bike which he “forgot” about and continued to guilt me over for months and ultimately left in my basement (I ain’t giving it to him now lmfao)), I broke his dab rig (and bought him a new bong after), told him I hate his pets and they make my life worse (not a fuckup honestly, I was actively bleeding out of my literal eyeball from his out of control cat’s bullshit while we sat in the ER waiting room when I said this. His dog’s constant barking has given me seizures on multiple occasions. I’m justified in that one his pets are awful) and I complained about him here on Tumblr (my diary, which I’ve told him not to read if he can’t handle my unfiltered thoughts). I really put effort into fixing what I did wrong and making it right. I owned up to my mistakes. My ADHD certainly influenced these mistakes but it did not stop me from acknowledging my wrong doing, correcting them, and not doing them again.

He destroyed thousands of dollars worth of my things and guilted me over the expense of replacing exactly one of the things he ruined. Blamed his poor money management on dyscalculia. Blamed his absence of coordination on being partially deaf in one ear. Blamed his inability to remember to do anything on ADHD. Blamed his manipulative meltdowns over my hurt on BPD. Like dude…. They’re are all certainly things that influence your behavior, yes, but that does not mean that they get you off the hook for the consequences of your actions. They do not mean that you don’t have to take accountability and try to fix these mistakes, learn from them, and avoid them in the future.

What broke our relationship wasn’t even all these mistakes it was him telling me that he is incapable of doing better.