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imreallyhereforkataang · 4 years

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On The Southern Raiders

Several months ago, a fellow ATLA-consumer asked me the following in reference to TSR:

I came across a post (on tumblr, what a surprise!) the other day saying that Aang never seemed to care about Katara’s feelings revolving around her mom. […] Do you think people genuinely interpreted Aang’s actions like that? Simply by watching? Or are they purposely misconstruing it?

I responded with the vast majority of what follows. It was a while afterwards that I rejoined the fandom for long enough to see the massive spectrum of takes on The Southern Raiders that continues to be put out on the daily.

There seems to be this recurring idea that Aang’s actions in TSR demonstrate that, not only did Aang “never care about Katara’s pain” regarding her mother, but also that he was “forcing his morals on her,” etc. On the topic of whether people honestly believe this to be in Aang’s character or see him this way deliberately, I think sometimes they jump to the conclusion that Aang didn’t care because it stems from a misconstrued interpretation of Aang and Katara as individuals and their dynamic as presented in the show, which may extend to the belief that Aang doesn’t give back what Katara gives to him. In general, I can see how someone might form that impression, but they’re missing some key contextual pieces.

Just a quick disclaimer: This is (obviously) a look into TSR and dives into Katara and Aang, both as individuals and together. I try to make this fairly objective while relaying my own opinions, but this will subsequently hold pro-Kataang rhetoric, platonic or no. Additionally, because this is TSR we’re talking about, I do allude to elements here that mold into what I see as ‘specific common misconceptions about Z*tara’s romantic compatibility based off this one particular episode.’ Why are these relevant? Because there is a clear trend where the people trying to put Aang down or even demonize him for this episode are often pro-canon!Z*tara advocates. To be clear, I don’t have an issue with people who ship them for fun outside of canon, so if you like romantic Z*tara but also appreciate Aang, any perceived digs are not directed towards you! But I think some of these things are worth mentioning here in the interest of examining TSR and Aang-bashing.

(Also fair warning that this is nearing 7k words.)

So, with that out of the way:

I briefly mentioned how people can misinterpret Katara and Aang’s back-and-forths in terms of emotional support, and I feel like that starts with Katara.

Katara is a naturally caring person and earnestly reaches outward to empathize with people. She’s extremely perceptive when someone is hurting (the only one to look concerned when Aang showed gripes about killing Ozai in The Phoenix King) and is often seen as the nurturing character who will coax others to talk about their inner struggles (she does this with Toph in The Runaway and Zuko in The Old Masters, for instance).

Time and time again, when Aang has struggled on his Avatar journey, Katara has been the one to get him to open up and articulate his turmoil, ultimately supporting him or convincing him that there is still hope for better days. She’s been there for him at all times, from The Storm to The Avatar State to Bitter Work to The Serpent’s Pass to The Awakening and beyond, exercising patience and care. It’s a role she undertakes, and as Aang is our main character and undergoing, arguably (I guess? But to me inarguably), the most of everyone in the gaang, it makes sense that Katara, given her empathetic nature and their strong bond, will often be the one expressing true concern for Aang.

So we know that when Aang struggles, which we understandably see a lot of, Katara is his rock. But what about giving back when Katara struggles?

When it comes to Katara’s share of turmoil, the death of her mother and how it continues to impact her is one of her greatest sources of pain. Honestly, it might be one of the only times we actually watch her struggle on her own, as Katara tends to be a powerful self-advocate (see: The Waterbending Master). The thing is, even though Katara has mentioned losing her mother several times throughout the series, and of course she always sounds regretful when it’s brought up, she tends to keep the rawness of her associated sorrow bottled up. Almost every time Katara mentions the death of her mother, it’s been, in very Katara-like fashion, to express understanding towards others. With the exception of @Zuko in the crystal catacombs and TSR, she only brings up her own grief to empathize (@Aang in The Southern Air Temple to prepare him for the genocide and show understanding when he grieves, @Haru in Imprisoned when Haru talks about connecting with his father, @Jet in Jet when he talks about losing his own parents to the Fire Nation, and @Hama in The Puppetmaster when talking about losing members of the Southern Water Tribe). Really, The Crossroads of Destiny and TSR are the only times Katara actually brings up her own pain for the sake of bringing up her own pain, and it’s not often that we see her physically break down over it like we do in the former.

Katara isn’t the sort of person to bring up her turmoil simply for her own needs, or because she realizes it’s weighing on her heavily in that moment. It’s a sore spot that’s changed her behavior (as Sokka explains in The Runaway), making her grow up faster, and that she’s continued to carry for years and years. And yet, again, before The Southern Raiders, we never watched her actively cry over her mother except for when she was alone in The Swamp and with Zuko in The Crossroads of Destiny (and also perhaps when she was alone in The Runaway).

Thus, The Southern Raiders is an interesting episode because it’s where those feelings Katara has been harboring are fully brought to the surface and, in extent, it’s the episode where we see Katara at her lowest point. All of that pain is made fresh and present, the murder no longer feeling like something that happened long ago with, as she believed, no available ends to tie (“Now that I know he’s out there, now that I know we can find him, I feel like I have no choice”), and it causes her to lose sight of herself. That’s not only starkly reflected in her decision to bloodbend, but also in how she doubts that anyone understands her pain.

Katara undermines Sokka’s hurt at the same loss she’s experienced and forgets all the struggle that Aang has had to endure from the start. Not only does he know how it feels to lose a parental figure (Gyatso) to the Fire Nation and not have been able to help (“My people needed me and I wasn’t there to help”; “I’m not the helpless little girl I was when they came”), but he also knows how it feels to lose an entire culture (something only Katara and Hama have similar experience with). And Katara knows this – she’s the one he’s expressed the most of his grief to, and yet here she forgets that. So we can already see how this opportunity Zuko has given Katara, the chance to find her mother’s killer and the anticipation that she feels from it, is bringing out a darker side of her that, unlike the Katara we know and that she wants to be, does not empathize or pause to understand. She’s so engrossed in her own pain, for the first time in so long, that she can’t see beyond it.

In consequence to this episode being about Katara’s emotional journey, I think The Southern Raiders is the most opportune time to observe who will give Katara what she has always displayed towards others. When a character undergoes the level of hurt Katara expresses here, it’s usually she who reaches out to that person, but now it’s her turn to be emotionally compromised. Now we get to see who steps up to the plate.

A lot of people conclude that this person is Zuko. That he’s the one who will reach out to her and connect with her emotionally to help her deal with that pain. I do agree that Zuko played a vital role in Katara’s emotional journey here – he was the catalyst for it. He had an established motivation to get off her bad side and onto her good side, a possible solution alluded to him, and knowledge that comes with hailing from the Fire Nation to go forth with his idea. And he does, and he’s physically there to help Katara through its execution.

However, Zuko making the effort to give Katara this opportunity does not reflect a lack of effort on Aang’s part. Firstly, because, as explained, Aang didn’t see how raw this pain still was to Katara. At this point, Zuko had been on the receiving end of two beratements where Katara angrily mentioned her mother’s death. Aang was not, nor did he witness these incidents. Aang understood the significance of her necklace (Bato of the Water Tribe) and looked concerned for her when she mentioned her vision (The Swamp), but Katara never seemed to express to Aang just how raw her mother’s death still felt, just as Sokka never did. She mentions it in The Southern Air Temple, but their topic of discussion was the Fire Nation killing the airbenders, and Aang was trying to fend off the idea that they might have committed genocide against his people. Considering context, there’s no reason to fault Aang for any of the things he did on this issue, or a lack thereof.

Just as Katara and Sokka thought, Aang probably believed it was a concluded topic in terms of active response. It was something that happened years ago, Aang was in an iceberg at the time, and neither Katara nor Sokka nor Aang thought it was something to go back on and revisit. When Katara yelled at Zuko, she never suggested looking for the killer. And again with that quote, “Now that I know he’s out there,” I don’t think hunting for the man was on anyone’s mind. As a viewer, it was never on my mind, either.

What Zuko had that the rest of Team Avatar did not was direction and knowledge on how they could potentially track down this specific Fire Nation military official. Even Sokka, who could remember the emblem of the Southern Raiders and underwent the same loss Katara did, not only seemed to have no intention of tracking his mother’s murderer, but also took Aang’s side when Zuko and Katara explained what they were planning to do.

Which supports the next point – regarding how Aang responded to the idea once it was out there.

Quick tangent, but it’s a scene like this that shows how Aang’s feelings for Katara have matured. The way he reacts to Katara in The Southern Raiders conveys how he knows she’s not perfect, he knows she can make mistakes, and even if, to some, he comes off as trying to hinder her on this sensitive topic, he overtly wants what’s best for her.

Aang recognizes the change in Katara’s demeanor when she approaches him about borrowing Appa. He seems to notice that something is off about her energy, probably to this extent for the first time, just as for the audience, and his instinct is not to step out of her way and “stay on her good side,” but to try and assess the situation before he lets her go in the condition she’s in. Katara is undeniably not thinking clearly during this scene, nor for much of the episode’s proceedings, given her tone, expressions, words, and intent. She’s undergoing, just as Aang says, “unbelievable pain and rage” (callback to The Avatar State; “for the people who love you, watching you be in that much rage and pain is really scary”). Aang understands where Katara is coming from, and he offers her his two cents, but he doesn’t “force” them on her, either.

Watching how Aang’s expression changes between looking at Zuko and Katara, he appears intent and almost stern towards the former. But for Katara, he’s first treading the waters, then concerned and earnest. Aang doesn’t shame Katara for her dark rhetoric or tell her what she should or shouldn’t do, but tries to help her regain some control of her emotions (“Katara, you sound like Jet” – he knows this side of Katara isn’t truly her, or who she wants to be, and this comment might serve to give her insight as to how she sounds) and then offers Katara a choice. Aang makes light of an option that she’s overlooked upon having this opportunity, and he tries to explain why the road she’s going down, the way she’s choosing to handle the situation, is self-destructive. All in all, he’s looking out for her. In his own way, he’s doing for Katara what Katara would have done for him.

I think it’s made fairly clear that, had Katara killed Yon Rha, (who, while, yes, is vile and got away with murder, was also defenseless against Katara by the time she caught up with him), she would’ve regretted her decision. The frightening thing is that I don’t believe she would have accepted that regret from herself, either. It would always remain a blemish in her energy (mind you, not because murder will inherently do this to everyone in ATLA, but it would to Katara specifically given her nature), something that would make her forever carry a bit of that darkness we so rarely see from her, much heavier and more permanent than withholding forgiveness, instead of following “Let your anger out, and then let it go.”

Here’s the thing people seem to forget about TSR: Canon shows us that Aang’s method for handling the situation is beneficial to Katara. It’s true that Zuko was the catalyst for this journey and he was there to help Katara see it through, but it isn’t true to say that Aang didn’t do her a favor by reaching out and being honest with her before they left. Remember the ultimate note on this side story: “You were right about what Katara needed. Violence wasn’t the answer.” The narrative teaches us that Aang was correct on this front – maybe not for everyone, but he wasn’t trying to nudge everyone. He was trying to nudge Katara.

I recently acquired the official DVD commentary for The Southern Raiders. I’ve transcribed relevant points on the end of this post if you’d like to read them in full, but Bryan and Andrea Romano (voice director) talk about how “even though Aang is sort of not in this story very much, to me his presence is in all of these scenes ‘cause you know he’s like, the little angel on her shoulder”; “I agree with you, he is with her through this entire journey she goes through.”

The fact that what Aang said resonated with Katara when it mattered – Katara, who becomes stubborn when she feels strongly about something, who doesn’t let anyone stop her when she disagrees with them, who is going through the most raw, emotional turbulence we have seen her in throughout the show –, the fact that Katara ultimately agreed with Aang’s words, that his words were the aid she needed in realizing there was a decision in either killing Yon Rha or sparing him, hugely states that Aang was there for Katara. Aang helped her see she had a choice for her own sake when her mind was clouded by pain and rage. You don’t need supplementary commentary to see that – Katara was seriously considering revenge, Zuko was leaning towards punishing Yon Rha but, for the most part, staying out of the decision (though based on the two back-and-forths he had with Aang before they left and his reaction to Katara walking away from bloodbending the wrong man, he didn’t realize how detrimental to Katara killing Yon Rha would be – his intention when giving Katara this opportunity was ultimately to gain some ground with her, and while he shares a sense of her pain, he doesn’t foresee what the nature of this journey will do to impact Katara specifically, which I get since he hardly knows her), and so it was ultimately Aang who helped Katara find her path even when he wasn’t there with her physically.

People can argue that Aang was forcing his morals on Katara, but he wasn’t. He was offering valid wisdom, yet pressing enough to hope that she’d actually listen and maybe react, as she did, rather than Aang simply standing back. It would’ve been easy for Aang to do nothing (like he said) and not risk coming off as unconcerned about her feelings, like he did to some viewers, because we know how Aang feels about Katara and that he doesn’t want to create rifts between them. But he risked stirring them, in her volatile state, in order to get his point across, if it meant that in consequence there would be a better chance Katara wouldn’t make the mistake that he knows would haunt her after this foreign mood of hers has passed. Aang isn’t about to let her go without trying to help her, even when she seems to not want help. It’s not in Katara’s nature to seek emotional support, and the audience has never seen her like this, but Aang recognizes that she needs the nudge (which, had her mind been clearer, she’d apparently agree with over her idea of revenge) and gives it openly and hopefully, even when she isn’t in a receptive state (or so it seemed). Again, Aang’s “morals” in this case of murder turned out to be, as he suspected, compatible with Katara’s as well as Sokka’s, so clearly he did a good thing there.

I think some people believe that Aang “forces his morals” on Katara because they’re under the impression that Aang’s concern is the general idea that she will kill somebody, the persons involved being irrelevant. That he’s acting selfishly and, in the interest of aligning with his own ideals, doesn’t want the girl he loves to be “corrupted.” This sort of mindset that “he’s against killing, so he won’t let Katara have this” leads to the conclusion that he’s not giving her the free reign to make her own choice.

However, this idea is debunked again and again in the episode. Aang says, clear as day, “I wasn’t planning to [try and stop you]. This is a journey you need to take. You need to face this man. But when you do, please don’t choose revenge” as Katara turns away from him to go, and Aang stands back and watches with concern. He’s not being “forceful” – he’s being honest, like Katara’s been for him, and even supportive. If Aang really wanted to ensure that Katara followed his own morals, if he were actually not giving her free reign, he would’ve either disallowed Katara and Zuko from taking Appa or gone along with them. Aang could’ve justified joining the mission – it is his bison and that would split up the gaang evenly. He could’ve forced himself on this journey and used the time before meeting Yon Rha to monitor Katara like a chaperone, believing he’s just trying to help and making sure she doesn’t get hurt.

And yet he doesn’t. He lets Katara do this, and his parting words continue to be what he hopes she’ll choose. But his final action, letting her set off with Appa and leaving him behind, means that he’s leaving the decision up to her.

I feel like people completely forget some segments of the episode. Like how Sokka says “I think Aang might be right” and doesn’t go on the journey that he has as much reason to embark on as Katara does. Or how Katara literally says right before departing, “Thanks for understanding, Aang.”

Aang’s stance on Katara getting revenge goes beyond Aang just being against killing – he’s not voicing his opinion out of defense of Yon Rha or because he doesn’t want to love someone who went against his morals. He’s doing it because he knows what Katara’s going through and he doesn’t want her to have to face the consequences of letting the pain get the better of her. He’s trying to help her from going down a dark road, not for himself, but for her, because he knows her and knows this is something she would regret.

So when Katara tells him later that she didn’t forgive Yon Rha, Aang doesn’t push her or ask questions. He’s glad – and proud – that she didn’t do something that would’ve permanently hurt her, and beyond that, she could dissent from his morals as she liked. When Aang saw Katara after her trip, the first thing he did was run to her purely to ask if she was okay, not to discover whether she killed; he already knew from Zuko.

Bottom line is that Aang cared about her feelings. Particularly the feelings of the Katara she normally is, the Katara she means to be, the Katara who doesn’t bloodbend or unempathize, the Katara who’s hurting and whose pain is getting the better of her. Aang saw what was happening and did what he could to help, nudging her on the path she needed when her vision was clouded (sounds like Katara helping Aang when he’s in the Avatar State. Again, The Southern Raiders provides an instance of Aang giving back to Katara what she’s given to him, like with The Desert/The Serpent’s Pass, his pain from which Aang pointed out in “How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa?”).

Overall, people might honestly interpret Aang as being unsympathetic this episode, and I can see how from a superficial standpoint. But by doing so, they’re missing the significance of Aang’s choice to reach out and the importance it played in helping Katara conserve her own image of herself. She bloodbends someone – not even confirming that it’s the right person, first – in a rush of pain and rage after practically swearing it off less than ten episodes ago, so she clearly loses some semblance of herself during this episode, and it’s Aang who makes the most effort to help her find balance without getting in the way of her search. Ultimately, Aang’s role in TSR demonstrates how well he understands her personally, as well as his ability to step back and let her make her own decisions while still offering a viewpoint that her pain prevents her from seeing.

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Okay, big breath. Halfway through. I’d like to talk in more depth about how Aang understands Katara’s position.

I was thinking once again about Aang saying, “I do understand. You’re feeling unbelievable pain and rage. How do you think I felt about the sandbenders when they stole Appa? How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation when I found out what happened to my people?” As presented to us, those two incidents had several things in common.

Aang went into the Avatar State due to intense emotion, as opposed to a life/death situation, and caused mass destruction that risked placing harm on others. And both of these times, Katara was the one to pull him out of that state. An important thing to note is that there’s one other moment very similar, but not identical, to these, which took place in The Avatar State. Just like in The Southern Air Temple and The Desert, Aang entered the Avatar State due to intense emotion, out of anguish when losing Katara. But the difference here was the amount of destruction caused. When Aang lost control of himself, he went through with hurting the people in his vicinity, and when he came out of that state, he hated to see what he’d done. Aang told Katara that he hoped she’d never have to see him like that again, and he hoped it for himself, too (but, of course, she did see him like that again in The Desert).

What I’m trying to show here is that Katara losing herself to her “pain and rage” in The Southern Raiders parallels Aang losing himself to his “rage and pain” in The Avatar State, not just in The Southern Air Temple and The Desert, as he directly references. But why am I so adamant about The Avatar State as opposed to those other two episodes?

Because we saw the lasting effect that The Avatar State had on Aang. There are many analyses out there that explain how Aang has had to struggle with control over his vast power, oftentimes depicting it as something he’s afraid of. For so long, Aang fears the Avatar State, what he’s capable of while in it, and how he can’t regulate his actions when it occurs. This conflict comes up time and time again, and a huge part of his character arc is involved with that struggle.

But again, for the significance of The Avatar State episode specifically, I was thinking about chakras in The Guru. From his Earth Chakra, we see that Aang continues to fear himself in the Avatar State, and from his Water Chakra, we see that one of his two greatest sources of guilt is that he lost control of himself in The Avatar State due to his rage and pain, lamenting that he “hurt all of those people” (the other being that he ran away, which, as mentioned before, is tied with his guilt at not being there to help and isn’t unlike the anguish Katara must feel now at not having been able to help her mother, get her father’s help fast enough, etc.). Pathik tells him that, in order to open his Water Chakra, to absolve the guilt and let the pleasure flow, “you need to forgive yourself.”

So here we have this idea that forgiveness is the key step to opening a person’s Water Chakra. Water, symbolizing pleasure and healing. “It’s easy to do nothing, but it’s hard to forgive.” “Forgiveness is the first step you have to take to begin healing.” These things Aang says in The Southern Raiders reflect what Pathik taught him about the Water Chakra.

Forgiving oneself is (obviously) different from forgiving your mother’s killer, but with this insight it’s clear that Aang personally understands how it feels to let your pain and rage get the better of you, and how it hurts deeply to face the consequences of your actions once the moment has passed. He recognizes that Katara is in a state not unlike the one he’s in when he loses control (“I do understand”) and he doesn’t want that for her. He wants Katara to be able to regain control of her actions and navigate out of her clouded vision so that she can make the choice that’s right for her. Aang is trying to help Katara see the pieces she’s missing, like how Katara does for Aang when he’s in the Avatar State.

Forgiveness is a necessary step in order to heal, and maybe it wasn’t a choice Katara ultimately made, but that was a decision Aang accepted. She didn’t kill Yon Rha, she didn’t have to now struggle with guilt or having to admit to that guilt, and she didn’t have to be faced with the strenuous task of forgiving herself for something she definitely would not have wanted to admit needed forgiving for. She saved herself from the pain that could have resulted from her own actions, because Aang helped her see she had a choice. When it mattered, when she was about to deliver the final blow, Aang’s words helped her pull out of that emotion-induced near-equivalent of an “Avatar State.”

To me it’s really fascinating to see the connections between these incidents – The Southern Raiders plus the three episodes where Aang enters the Avatar State out of emotion/rage (almost four if you count The Storm, but he manages to contain it when Katara calls out). The way these arcs parallel each other (“I went through the same thing when I lost my mom”; “How do you think I felt about the Fire Nation?”; “Watching you be in that much rage and pain is really scary…I can’t watch you do this to yourself”; “As you watch your enemy go down, you’re being poisoned yourself”) and ultimately culminate in acts of mercy. It’s incredible how Aang and Katara are able to reach each other when they’re in their emotional states, and know what the other needs and who they are when they lose themselves.

In addition, I also think Andrea’s point about how Aang “teaches” Katara is further reflective of the impact Aang has on the people around him. I’ve seen many circulating posts about how Aang hailing from the time before the war and being raised by the Air Nomads allows him to bring a unique, positive influence to those around him who, in contrast, grew up in war-time and were most likely (Bumi is an exception) never alive in the time of the Air Nomads. However, along with the lightheartedness and fun (see: The Avatar Returns and The Headband), this also includes the specific wisdom and peacekeeping ways of the airbenders that became lost in the war, and that Aang symbolically ends the war with: An act of mercy, thus showcasing the survival and triumph of the Air Nomads as well as the Avatar. In TSR, Aang shares this wisdom with Katara – that the choice exists, and there is strength in not choosing revenge and electing forgiveness if she so resonated with it.

[Click here]

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Back to the original question –

It may be possible that if someone were to overlook some characterizations and watch The Southern Raiders episodically, as opposed to as part of a whole arc, then they might genuinely form the impression that Aang is in the wrong here. I think I myself might’ve been a bit surprised by his approach when I was younger (though Katara’s attitude was also very surprising and even unsettling), but that was also at an age where I didn’t really understand the severity of the situation and just how much Katara was drifting from herself, or what killing Yon Rha could do to her, or, simply, in that volatile state, what she needed to hear.

I’ll be honest (drawing from personal experience, not sure if others relate) – I think as a child, one may not see the episode as intended because, unlike many other episodes, the takeaway lessons in The Southern Raiders are either expressed through words or an instance of not doing something (the instant where Katara doesn’t kill Yon Rha, since not doing something is less stark to a child than doing something). It’s a gray story in terms of right/wrong, and when you’re young, I can see why those lessons are misinterpreted because the viewer gets so caught up in the adrenaline rush of the action in this episode, the stealth, the bloodbending, the frightening amount of anger in Katara. It consumes most of the viewing experience, and within all that, the ultimate big lesson that “Violence wasn’t the answer” might get missed because violence or violent intent constituted almost all of the runtime. I see people who don’t remember this episode as a commentary on vengeance/forgiveness/the middle ground, but as “the one where Katara and Zuko got super badass."

Getting older, The Southern Raiders is such a gruesome episode. I now see the crucial, ‘quieter’ points that I overlooked as a child. Things like Sokka siding with Aang, Katara thanking Aang for his understanding, Zuko ultimately agreeing with Aang’s assessment of what Katara needed. Sad thing is that some people don’t appear to see this episode the way it was intended in time. TSR requests a perceptive mind from its audience, and some people don’t seem open to that.

I feel that this episode is often treated as shedding light on canon romantic Z*tara for similar reasons as to why people might miss the lessons – Zuko and Katara look cool and badass, on their way to kill a man. It’s exciting to see them working together, the nature of the mission is intriguing, but understanding subtext means acknowledging the tragic underlining of the episode, that it’s painful, that it’s Katara’s journey. It’s disappointing to me when some people chalk up Zuko and Katara’s relationship to being “badass” and “sexy” as a result of The Southern Raiders. It feels out-of-context, caught up in the “coolness” of this episode and misinterpreting physical synchrony as emotional, especially since their dynamic changes anyhow after Katara forgives him.

The episode presents very clearly that Zuko wasn’t right in his assumption about what Katara needed. Again, not necessarily his fault, although his comments about "Air Temple preschool,” “Guru Goody-Goody,” and forgiveness being “the same as doing nothing” display his skepticism of going the peaceful route (though this is curious to me given how often he showed mercy towards Zhao). He honestly didn’t realize the implications this journey would have on Katara, but by the end of the episode, I think it’s safe to say Zuko learned that Aang knew what he was talking about. Aang, whose whole nation and father figure were killed, and yet was able to forgive. Who could see how Katara was responding to the information Zuko gave her.

That’s not to discount Zuko’s role here. Maybe Katara did need closure, and Aang did say “This is a journey you need to take” (although, I do wonder, as Aang asked originally, what it ultimately accomplished. I get that Katara felt like she needed to take the opportunity once Zuko handed it to her, “Now that I know we can find him,” but if Zuko had never brought it up, would things be different? I hope it accomplished something in regards to Katara’s turmoil – perhaps she was able to forgive herself in that she could finally confront the man who did this, when all those years ago she came back with help “too late” – but at least she forgave Zuko in consequence), but this journey was so emotionally turbulent for Katara, heavy to the point where she wasn’t even herself anymore (as said in The Avatar State, “I saw you get so upset that you weren’t even you”).

Therefore, I personally find that simplifying TSR into “Katara and Zuko being cool” to the point where people glorify the way Katara acts in this episode insulting to her character, simply because I don’t enjoy watching deep pain morph Katara into becoming something she dislikes (see: Bloodbending and how it’s often glamorized in fandom). To me, it’s not as if she’s honing something akin to her inner strength. Katara is an extremely powerful character, which is shown time and time again, and her power comes from her physical capabilities as well as her inner strength. “Hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.” Bam, Katara right there. “I don’t know if it’s because I’m too weak to do it or if it’s because I’m strong enough not to.” As is a theme in this show, there is a strength in restraint.

In her right mind, Katara would be horrified by her actions in The Southern Raiders, or at least what her ultimate intention was, and if people more closely understood Katara as she is, then I feel like they’d agree. As Aang did.

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Do I think there are people out there who deliberately reimagine TSR as ‘the episode where Aang was a “self-righteous prick” to Katara’? Yes, absolutely. As for motivation, I can’t really think of any reason for trying to make Aang look bad besides trying to make him look bad in comparison to another character (i.e. Zuko here), or maybe people have their own personal reasons for disagreeing with Aang’s sentiment while forgetting that Katara ultimately does not (in regards to the killing). Or maybe people just dislike main characters who manage to uphold their morals and it goes in-hand with those who think Aang should’ve killed Ozai.

—-

Honestly, there’s a lot more that can be said on the topic in regards to what Katara learned about herself in TSR, as such might be reflected in her active choice to spare Azula in Avatar Aang (which Bryan notes in his commentary: “Katara also finding a peaceful means” in reference to Aang), but frankly I’m kind of exhausted so I’m gonna leave this half-baked copy-and-paste from something I wrote earlier this month:

I feel like the only people Katara has harbored legitimately murderous thoughts towards have been Yon Rha (her mother’s killer) and Zuko and Azula (Aang’s killers, indirectly and directly), indicated by that unique energy she’s carried around those three that we don’t see a lot from her, where her voice becomes lower and the weight of her words more threatening (also the fact that she issued clear death threats to the first two).

For the final Agni Kai, Zuko planned on ending Azula. He goaded her into using lightning and intended to redirect it at her (he didn’t want to, of course, as Bryke noted, but that was the decision). So it’s striking to me when Katara, despite having a very opportune chance to end Azula and knowing Zuko wouldn’t have judged her for it since he was about to do the same, makes the active choice to keep her alive. Katara could have unfrozen herself and gotten to Zuko immediately, but instead she took the time to restrain Azula and allow her to live. And I do believe that a part of the decision was made clearer to her after the events of TSR. Katara realized, subconsciously or no, what she isn’t, and that she’d try to preserve Azula if she could despite how much she might hate her for what she did last season.

—-

DVD Commentary for The Southern Raiders

[…]

Andrea Romano: This is where she does bloodbending, right? So scary!

Bryan Konietzko: It’s this dark skill that she reluctantly learned in episode 3x08. And there’s another important lesson – it’s like, once you have power over someone, are you strong enough not to use it? Or, use restraint in life?

Dante Basco: […] The thought of bloodbending is an idea that – it’s just crazy! Like, the average television or Nickelodeon show […] is not thinking about bloodbending. But yet it’s a very possible situation in this world, and I think that’s what makes it so exciting for people who watch the show.

Michael Dante DiMartino: Yeah and it’s not a skill that they take very – or certainly that Katara takes – lightly. It’s a very serious proposition to do that on somebody.

AR: And it’s not treated lightly. Here she is, she’s so close to being out of control. And that’s what adds so much to the drama of it, is, we think, she could really lose it here and really do something that she regrets for the rest of her life. But she manages to hold herself.

[…]

BK: We see that she’s unbalanced emotionally, and so that’s what’s coming out.

AR: […] But we can only hope she’ll make the right choice. (Imploringly) Use your powers for good!

BK: I love that, even though Aang is sort of not in this story very much, to me his presence is in all of these scenes ‘cause you know he’s like, the little angel on her shoulder-

AR: Absolutely, yeah.

BK: -y'know, that she’s ignoring at this time. And so, to me it really is a story about Aang because it’s like, it’s just about him trying to have influence over her actions from afar – just, by not telling her what she has to do, but just by gently suggesting what she try to achieve with this journey.

AR: It really is a juxtaposition there, where the young Aang sort of tells her, like a parent, go ahead, go out and do what you have to do, but please, I hope that you choose forgiveness rather than revenge. And here he is the young one, and she is the older one who should be, sort of, teaching him and in fact they switch and he teaches her. So I agree with you, he is with her through this entire journey she goes through.

BK: I think it’s also interesting that, if you look on paper, Aang has lost a lot more than Katara has, and he sort of gently reminds her of this. He’s like, 'Hey, my whole culture was wiped out. Everyone I’ve ever known was wiped out.’ And uh, but as we all know in real life, you can’t really quantify suffering. It’s really a personal thing and everybody…everybody’s situation, when your own world kinda crumbles, it seems like the whole world’s falling apart. You can’t really equate these things. And so, we just see Katara lost in a very human moment in this episode.

AR: I love that scene. So dramatic. You just go 'Oh no – don’t do it! Don’t do it!’

[…]

—-

DVD Commentary for Avatar Aang

[…]

Bryke: It’s sort of like a multi-stage thing. He releases his emotions, these raw feelings of anger and wrath, and then learns to control them and rise above them. […] We obviously wanted a cool moment of Aang in the Avatar State, and it was kinda finding that right story beat for him. And in this case it was him being the totally wrathful, vengeful version of the Avatar […] But it’s really not Aang. It’s really this energy that has kinda taken over him. He’s not in control at this point. […]

So, can kind of recognize this Kung Fu move he’s doing. It’s what he was having nightmares about in 2x01, as he feared being this sort of wrathful, y'know, Hand of the Avatar. That was that same kind of […] chopping motion in those 2x01 nightmare scenes. […]

I feel like that’s his defining moment. That’s why we call this episode Avatar Aang. […] He’s finally learned to control the energy. […] He’s controlling it, he’s not letting it control him. […]

#atla #avatar #avatar the last airbender #the southern raiders #aang #aanglove #katara #kataang #kataangtag #sorry for reposting #anti zutara #i hope it's not that bad but this way you can filter if you want

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wiseabsol · 4 years

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WA Reviews “Dominion” by Aurelia le, Chapter 15: Lost

Link: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6383825/15/Dominion

Summary: For the Fire Nation royal siblings, love has always warred with hate. But neither the outward accomplishment of peace nor Azula’s defeat have brought the respite Zuko expected. Will his sister’s plans answer this, or only destroy them both?

Content Warnings: This story contains discussions and depictions of child abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and incest. This story also explores the idea that Zuko’s redemption arc (and his unlearning of abuse) is not as complete as the show suggested, and that Azula is not a sociopath (with the story having a lot of sympathy for her). If that doesn’t sound like your cup of tea, I would strongly recommend steering clear of this story and my reviews of it.

Note: Because these were originally posted as chapter reviews/commentaries, I will often be talking to the author in them (though sometimes I will also snarkily address the characters). While I’ve also tried not to spoil later events in the story in these reviews, I would strongly recommend reading through chapter 28 before reading these, just to be safe.

Now on to chapter 15!

CHAPTER 15: LOST

Alright, I’m a little late on this one, so let’s just dive into the ugly sadness of “Chapter 15: Lost,” shall we?

The A/N mentions that Toph, Suki, and Sokka will be back in five or six chapters, and a part of me can’t help but think, “Good, you three are distracting us from the Surround Sound Stereo Angst for the Royal Fire Family.” Joking aside, I am looking forward to Toph’s character development later on, because even though I know some of what is going to happen in future chapters of “Dominion,” I legitimately don’t think that Aurelia and I have discussed Toph’s arc yet. It’s a blind spot for me, but I’m okay with that, since I want to have some surprises in the wings, rather than just enjoying how X and Y parts are executed. Both ways of reading this story are fun, but the former is more enjoyable for reader in me, rather than the editor.

If the outline mentioned in chapter fifteen is still accurate, then that means that we have seven chapters left of “Dominion” at present, before we move on to “Thrones.” That number might be off, though, because Aurelia tends to be more verbose than she expects and has to split the chapters into multiple parts.

On to the chapter itself. Ty Lee and Mai are meeting in a sitting room. Ty Lee is nervous and Mai wonders if Ty Lee thinks that she’s mad at her, but Ty Lee hastens to reassure her. Mai’s aura indicates that she’s anxious and struggling to maintain control during this conversation. Mai is upset about “Zuko’s mistake,” but she doesn’t blame Ty Lee for it—she knows who to blame (Azula, probably, but maybe both her and Zuko). Mai doesn’t think that it was a bad idea for Zuko to team up with June, because the bounty hunter will track Azula down in short order and have her back in custody.

Ty Lee is not enthused about this idea. Despite knowing that Mai isn’t going to like it, she tells Mai that Azula shouldn’t be put back into the asylum. As trash of a human being as J. K. Rowling is, I can’t help but think of the quote, “It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to your enemies, but a great deal more to stand up to your friends.” Ty Lee, you are the overlooked and unsung hero of this story. There should be shrines in your honor.

Mai never likes it when Ty Lee brings up Azula, and usually deflects the conversation. Ty Lee also sees Mai less than she sees Azula, so they don’t get much of a chance to talk anyway. “Ty Lee still felt a little guilty about that, but Mai was always so busy, and Mai and Zuko would never even talk about Azula when she was the one who brought them all together in the first place….”

A few things here. Ty Lee and Mai are maybe a little like Ty Lee and Zuko, in that they call each other friends, but it doesn’t seem like anyone is putting in the effort to be friends. Mai could be making more time for Ty Lee. Mai could be trying to empathize with Ty Lee over the Azula issue. At the same time, I think Mai has been trying to set a boundary with Ty Lee about Azula, but either Mai hasn’t made it clear enough to Ty Lee that this is a boundary, or Ty Lee isn’t able to respect it because Azula is so important to her. It seems like there are competing needs at work here, and the feelings on both sides are valid.

At the same time, this situation has been festering for years. It’s clear that Mai has never been at peace with her feelings towards Azula, and that this is hurting her as much as it’s going to hurt Azula. I think Mai’s hatred for Azula is founded on the love she once had for her. While a large part of her might think that Azula deserved her fate, and even found it satisfying to see Azula brought low, there might also be a small part of her that wonders if that fall was partially her fault (it was, since Mai accidentally slammed down on Azula’s triggers), and feels guilty for it and for feeling that satisfaction. Also, from the way she’s been behaving, Mai might very well have been just as toxic and false a friend to Azula as she accuses Azula of being to her. She didn’t communicate her needs or desires to Azula, but instead let herself boil alive with resentment. She might blame Azula for how things went down, but she’s ignoring the role she played in it.

As the conversation continues, Ty Lee dances around why it would be bad to send Azula back to the asylum (because Azula is pregnant), and Mai says, “‘She tell you they abused her? And here I thought it was her dad.’”

Which brings another layer into this. I’m going to discuss this in more detail later, but Mai has now been confronted with the idea that Azula was an abused child—just as abused as Zuko was. And besides this recontextualizing Azula’s behavior, now Mai is left to wonder, “How did I never notice?” I think there’s a tiny part of her, one that she denies, that is appalled over what happened to Azula.

Ty Lee, who loves Azula whole-heartedly, is HORRIFIED by this revelation. She feels like the ground is “rushing up to hit her” and remembers how Ozai treated her, the last night she spent in the castle as a kid. And then she…well: “But Azula was so strong, she wouldn’t let anyone do that to her, would she? At least she would have told Ty Lee, they were best friends!” Oh Ty Lee, honey. That’s not how abuse works. Azula wouldn’t have told anyone, both because she was ordered not to by her abuser, but also because that would have meant being vulnerable around someone else. Does that sound like something Azula would do?

Mai says that Azula must have been lying about the abuse, but the thing is, Azula didn’t tell Mai about it. Zuko did. And even Mai doesn’t really believe it is a lie, if Ty Lee’s aura-reading is accurate. Mai’s just trying really hard to believe in her own lie. Mai argues that Ty Lee only ever sees the good in people—which isn’t true, since Ty Lee can see the flaws in people, but is more forgiving of them than the other characters are (except for Aang). Mai wonders if Ty Lee has convinced herself that there’s goodness in Azula where there is none.

And that’s…a lot. Because there’s a mix of good and bad in everyone. Some people lean more towards one end of the spectrum than the other, but if you look hard enough, you’ll always find something that humanizes even the most saintly or heinous of people. My stepmother, who was emotionally and psychologically abusive, wasn’t pure evil. She made my father happy. She was fiercely protective of those she loved. She made the best oatmeal cookies in the world and shared my passion for sappy romances. I’ve progressed enough in my healing that I can see these things, and see her as a troubled person who made mistakes and never got the help she needed. But Mai…she hasn’t healed the way I have. She hasn’t forgiven Azula. She might never be able to do that, either, given recent events (and she doesn’t have to—that’s her choice to make). And as long as that’s the case, it’s so much easier for her to demonize Azula, because if Azula is a demon, then Mai doesn’t have to grapple with the messy reality of Azula as a person, or grapple with how Ozai’s, Zuko’s, and Mai’s own choices damaged her.

Then we get this passage, which I’m going to quote in full, because it’s a slap in the face to absolutist thinking where Azula is concerned:

“‘I know she did some bad things, some awful things even, but that was four years ago and she was just a kid! We all were!’ [Ty Lee] argued [ . . . ] ‘And most of that stuff she did on her dad’s orders, and who knows what he would’ve done if she refused—’

‘Oh yes, poor helpless little victim,’ Mai interrupted coldly, rising to her feet with more grace than Ty Lee. ‘It’s not like she ever had a choice.’

‘She had a choice, but this stuff makes a difference, Mai!’ Ty Lee insisted, desperate to make her see it. ‘It makes a difference how we judge what she did! And we know now she was crazy!’ Ty Lee seized on the horrible truth with more enthusiasm than she would ever have guessed, spreading her hands to offer explanation. ‘Doesn’t that make a difference to you?’”

Context. Matters. It matters so much when you’re judging someone’s behavior. If someone is under duress, or isn’t fully in their right mind, or if they have no good choices, can we really blame them from making bad ones? And in Azula’s case, she was a child. Should she really have been written off by anyone, let alone our heroes?

Mai doesn’t believe that Azula was mentally ill, though. That was just a part of Azula’s scheme, you see. Ty Lee is rightly appalled by this. “‘Even if—you thought she just made it up—to avoid prison or something,’ she grasped at the logic only loosely, because it was disgusting, ‘you can’t deny what it did to her! She starved herself almost to death, she almost died!’” I really appreciate that Ty Lee is disgusted by Mai’s reasoning here. You go, Ty Lee! Four for you, Ty Lee! You’re the only reasonable person from the Fire Nation in this cast, I swear.

Ty Lee reminds Mai that there were witnesses to Azula’s deteriorating mental state, but realizes that Mai is in denial about this: “Realization leaked through cold and creeping as the egg Ty Lin broke over her head that one time. ‘Or maybe you can deny it,’ she whispered, horrified, and took a swift step back with hands raised before her when Mai lifted her head.” Yeah, I’m fully in agreement with Ty Lee’s horror. She’s looking at a friend who is so twisted up by resentment that she has lost sight of reality, in favor of believing a comfortable lie—namely, that Azula is irredeemable and so Mai doesn’t need to care about what happens to her. Even though Mai does need to care about this, because Zuko and Ty Lee will be gutted if Azula dies, and the Fire Nation will probably go to war over it.

“‘I didn’t see her because she treated me like shit,’ Mai spoke deliberately.” Mai is right that she doesn’t have to have Azula in her life if she doesn’t want Azula there. You don’t have to have anyone in your life who has hurt you. But that isn’t all that’s going on here. Mai is still smoldering with anger four years later, and her inability to let that anger go has been eating her alive. It’s making her lash out at Zuko and Ty Lee when they try to broach the subject of Azula. This isn’t healthy for her or anyone else. This is just a continuation of the behavior that plagued her as a teenager—suppressing all of her negative emotions until they explode outwards, rather than allowing herself to feel them, accept them, learn from them, and move on.

When Mai points out that she doesn’t owe Azula anything, Ty Lee replies that she wouldn’t have met or fallen in love with Zuko if she hadn’t been Azula’s friend. This stings for Mai, given that the siblings have had sex: “‘She gives, and she takes away….’”

Ty Lee, being more perceptive than anyone gives her credit for, figures out that something must have happened. She’s very sympathetic, asking if Mai wants to talk about it. Mai panics and has another angry outburst, thinking that Azula must have told Ty Lee about what Zuko did. “[Ty Lee] was reminded uncannily of how Azula reacted to Mai’s rejection at the Boiling Rock, and found it hard to fathom how Mai hadn’t run for the hills on receiving such a look.” This is interesting, because it suggests that part of the reason why Mai loathes Azula so much is because of the similarities between them. There is nothing more unsettling than seeing a dark mirror of yourself in someone else.

Ty Lee doesn’t know what Mai is talking about, and then kicks herself for revealing that to Mai: “Azula would have known enough to pretend she already knew, so Mai would tell her.” Mai shuts down at this point and tells Captain Tadao to take Ty Lee to her rooms, because they’ve “embarrassed each other enough for one day” and that they’ll talk later.

Ty Lee knows that’s bullshit. “They wouldn’t because Mai never wanted to talk about Azula, and was extra unlikely to want to talk about Azula when she had problems of her own with Zuko.” I’m sure that Mai was reluctant to talk about Azula with Ty Lee because she didn’t think that Ty Lee would let her vent about her anger towards Azula, or understand it and not make excuses for Azula. Which is fair, but Mai should have found someone else to vent to to get the poison out, and then circled back to seeing Azula as a human being who fucked up.

Actually, you know what Mai probably needs? She needs to confront Azula about what happened between them, because she hasn’t seen Azula since the Boiling Rock. Yeah, Mai had a cool line about loving Zuko more than fearing Azula, but that didn’t get into her specific grievances, or allow Azula to address or apologize for them to give Mai closure. And we know that Azula feels bad about what she did, because it was what haunted her the most when she was having her breakdown. If Azula really was a monster, then she wouldn’t feel that remorse.

“Ty Lee felt bad about that, and she wanted to help Mai, she really did”—Ty Lee is too good for this sinful Earth—“but Mai wouldn’t tell her anything, and even though her problems seemed bad, Azula’s could get her killed—” Yeah, the most reasonable one of the bunch, our Ty Lee.

Ty Lee begs Mai to do something to help Azula, because she’ll die if the Earth Kingdom catches her. Ty Lee has this heart-wrenching speech: “‘I know you guys had problems, and—maybe you think she was never your friend [ . . . ] But she thought of you as a friend, Mai, she told me so! She fought so hard to get better, she’s a better person now, and she deserves a second chance! But she’ll never get that chance unless we help her.’” Carve my heart out and eat it, why don’t you?

And Mai…is unmoved by this. And condescending about it. “‘I hoped your actions might prove you were ready to cut ties with her too. But clearly you can’t be trusted to know what’s best for you” She’s referring here to Ty Lee seemingly choosing the Kyoshi Warriors over Azula. But also, it’s gross that Mai assumes that she knows what is best for Ty Lee. Fuck off with that, Mai.

Mai doubles down on the whole, “Azula’s awful, I don’t owe her anything, and don’t come crying to me when she hurts you” schtick. If she’d met the adult version of Azula and seen that version of her hurt someone, such as Ty Lee, then this reaction would make sense. What this is instead is Mai holding onto a grudge that is years old and using it as a weapon. She’s clinging to the idea that Azula can never change…even though that’s not how people work. Especially not people in the formative years of their lives, which they all still qualify as.

Aaaand Ty Lee, panicking now, reveals that Azula is pregnant as a last-ditch effort to get Mai to get her head out of her black-clad butt and see reason. Mai goes into despairing shock at this news and accidentally cuts herself with her own knife, much to Ty Lee’s and Captain Tadao’s alarm. One of the guards tries to grab Ty Lee, but Ty Lee chi-blocks him and he collapses. The next one manages to grab her. Mai orders them to remove Ty Lee from the room, and instead of putting Ty Lee in her guest bedroom, they stick her in a study.

We learn that Ty Lee actually likes Tadao, because he works hard and doesn’t dismiss Ty Lee’s suggestions on how to improve palace security. He’s the one who comes to see Ty Lee instead of Mai. He tells her that Mai is going to be fine. She might have a scar on her hand, but she’ll still be able to use it. When Ty Lee wonders why she got so upset, Tadao points out that since Mai and Azula are sisters-in-law, Azula’s condition will have an impact on Mai. This is also “the latest in a recent line of insults.” To put it another way, Mai is bitter at Azula for having sex with Zuko and throwing that wrench into her marriage (namely, by revealing that Zuko is not the person she thought he was). Then there are the political considerations, given that Azula’s kid could have a place in the line of succession, if the kid gets legitimized someday. Which then puts little Lu Ten’s claim at risk.

This also reveals that Captain Tadao knows what happened between Azula and Zuko. For a second, I thought that he was Mai’s uncle, and so the ugly secret was just between them and the Fire siblings. But no, more people know about it, and that is NOT GOOD. But Captain Tadao seems like a good guy (sidebar, but was he the guy who escorted baby Ty Lee out of the palace during the abortion episode? It would be a sweet connection if so), and when Ty Lee asks why Mai won’t confide in her about what is going on between her and Zuko, Tadao is gentle when he tells her, “‘I think you know the answer to that question.’” Ty Lee’s love for Azula and Mai’s hatred of her is something they cannot reconcile, and given how important Azula is in their lives, it’s a potential dealbreaker for them, at least as far as having a close emotional, trusting relationship goes. A casual friendship is still possible, but probably not if Mai or Ty Lee keep pushing each other.

Mai has decided to pack Ty Lee off to Kyoshi Island, and has gotten her a ticket and an escort to the harbor. Ty Lee has written Mai a letter to continue their conversation. I’m struck by how fast Mai is pushing Ty Lee out of the Fire Nation. What if Ty Lee wanted to visit her family? What if she wanted to enjoy some spicy homecooked Fire Nation food? What if she, god forbid, decided to visit Ozai for a nice shouting match (well, shouting at his comatose body, more like)? Alas, the plot beckons us forward!

We find ourselves back with Zuko and June. Hooray? I put a question mark there because Zuko doesn’t appearing to be having a good time with the bounty hunter. He is, in fact, puking his guts out. Traveling with June has the feeling of a boot camp to Zuko, because she keeps trying to “toughen him up”: “It reminded Zuko uncomfortably of his father’s early tutelage, before Ozai gave up shaping him into an unfeeling weapon of war, and turned his sights to Azula instead.” Oh Zuko, if you knew what Ozai was trying to shape YOU into, then why blame Azula for—at least in your eyes—becoming it?

June puts all of the gross chores of their journey onto him, and tries to steal his food to see if he’s cunning enough to get it back. I’m sure she finds this amusing, but I remember how hard Zuko’s journey apart from Iroh was, and I think she might have an overly inflated opinion of her teaching skills.

In any case, they find the Dai Li agent hiding in a cave and June forces Zuko to interrogate him. It sounds like June is doing the heavy-lifting where torturing the man is concerned, though. June keeps telling Zuko to burn the man, and reminds him that Azula will be tortured if she’s captured. Eventually, the man begs Zuko to kill him, and Zuko has a flashback to when he was burned by Ozai: “he could only think of a hand wreathed in flame, reaching for him.” It’s at this point that Zuko throws up. He tries to argue that the man deserves this: “He would have blackmailed me, hunted my sister down like an animal. He wouldn’t flinch from torturing her, even killing her if he was ordered.” This line of reasoning doesn’t give him any comfort, though.

I do want to point out that torture, despite what fiction would like us to believe, is an ineffective tool for getting reliable information out of someone. Oftentimes it’s bribery that works better, such as, “You know we can’t let you go, but if you tell us what we want to know, we can make sure that no harm comes to your loved ones.” People in pain will say anything to make it stop, so gentler methods are more effective. However, it’s become ingrained in our cultural consciousness that torture works, despite what studies have shown. And since hurting the villain can be cathartic to an audience, and a hero hurting the villain can tell us something about them as a person, it comes up a LOT in action stories. And while I am exhausted by it being used in this way (torture as a tool of the villains tracks better, since there is no shortage of people who find satisfaction in making other people feel pain), I do see why it is used here. It’s only recently that the ineffectiveness of torture has become more generally known, whereas Zuko lives in a time period analogous to…probably the late 1800s?

I do wish that the torture here hadn’t yielded the information that it had, or that this information turned out to be bunk upon investigating it. As if it, the Dai Li agent is mostly filling in non-vital information: that he worked as an orderly at the asylum and had a partner there, hence how he got to the beach house on Ember Island so fast. So the partner needs to be taken care of at some point soon. Zuko better remember to send that letter!

Then we get this chilling thought from Zuko: “Zuko considered for the first time what might have happened, if she had not run from the asylum. If the Earth Kingdom grew impatient [ . . . ] it would have been appallingly easy to make her death look like a suicide, an accident overdose, a bad reaction to her medication….” Yeah, she was definitely a sitting duck there.

“He wondered if Azula knew, or suspected, that she was in the care of her enemies when she decided to run [ . . . ] She had an instinct for these things. The only time she hadn’t seen it coming was when her friend betrayed her. And when Zuko left to join Aang in ending the war, if her converse [sic] with absent fathers was to be believed—" I don’t know if Azula ever knew that there were Dai Li agents lurking about, but even Zuko is starting to see why Azula has such bad trust issues.

It looks like June continued with the torture and got the location of her dad out of her victim. I really wish she’d gotten a fake location, but I understand that the plot necessitates a swift end to this subplot. June hopes that Zuko is less squeamish about violence when someone is out to kill him, but I’m sure he would be fine in that situation, because that would be a fair fight, rather than causing someone who is helpless and incapacitated a useless amount of pain. June killed the agent in the end, and when Zuko argues that torturing him wasn’t right, and she replies with, “‘It was necessary. You head one of the most powerful nations in the world, don’t you know what that is?’”

And…(sigh)…yes, leaders need to make tough calls sometimes. But if they choose to do something this ugly, they really shouldn’t be fine with it afterwards. They should acknowledge that it was evil, but that they couldn’t see another way to accomplish their goal. That route accepts more responsibility than hiding behind the idea that it was for “the greater good” and that no one else could have thought of a better path forward. When June says that the torture was necessary, that doesn’t make it not evil. It just means that she didn’t see another way to get what she needed.

June then points out that Ozai was a helpless prisoner when Zuko burned him, which stings Zuko. I would argue that Zuko is right about it being different—his crime was one of passion, whereas June’s was coldly calculated. But both ultimately led to human suffering, so both of them were wrong to do it.

Zuko takes a deep breath to keep from lashing out at June, which tells us that he CAN manage his anger when he wants to. He’s struggling, though, because he’s tempted to tell June what Ozai did to Azula to justify burning his dad. He decides not to: “It didn’t feel right somehow, telling anyone else about the abuse. He wondered if this was how Uncle felt when he found out, and why he didn’t say anything. He still should have said something….” Zuko is right—Azula’s trauma isn’t his to share. He also goes from having empathy for Iroh to being angry with him in a split second, which makes sense. He’s conflicted about how his uncle handled the discovery. At the very least, Iroh should have told her doctors, so she could get the care she needed.

“How many more of [June’s] cruelties would he have to witness or take part in, before this was over?” This is rough and why I am not a fan of characters like June. Azula’s actions in this fic are calculated to minimize harm; June has no such scruples. She’s too much in “the ends justify the means” frame of mind.

Zuko has two thoughts that suggest that Azula is the devil on his shoulder, as far as his brain is concerned. “You would [burn Ozai] again” and “You could kill [June . . . ] Remove the threat.” He describes the latter thought as being “so alien and disturbing Azula might have suggested it herself.” No, my dude. Just like hallucination!Ursa is a reflection of Azula’s doubts, whispering!Azula is a reflection of Zuko’s darker thoughts and impulses, which he deflects onto her because that is easier for him to do than face the darkness within himself.

He then has some off-color thoughts about June, besides the idea of murdering her. “Sometimes Zuko thought she was more animal than woman”—Gross!—“and didn’t know whether to be turned on or disgusted by her antics. He had even wondered once in the long hours he spent riding behind her how Mai would look dressed all in black leather like that.” This would be a much lighter story if Zuko and Mai had just embraced his leather kink, rather than him embracing his toxic desire to possess Azula.

As June taunts him about how he wouldn’t win if he tried to kill her, he figures out that she knows that he slept with Azula. She confirms it: “‘Your secret’s out. I might have forgot to mention our mutual friend let that slip, before the end. He got a message to the others. Looks like we should’ve moved faster.’” This means that Zuko, Azula, Mai, Mai’s uncle, Tadao, June, and now some unnamed Dai Li agents—who will probably pass this information along to their superiors—are in the know. That is very bad! Zuko had better hope that they’ll be able to spin this information as slander against him and his family, because if people believe it, his family is going to have a tough time holding onto the throne.

June throws in that now she knows why he has problems with women, which Zuko denies. I feel like he’s better about women than Iroh and Ozai, but his treatment of Azula is definitely skeevy. June, in any case, isn’t bothered by this information, because she doesn’t have siblings as far as she knows. She also doesn’t have the same cultural teachings as Zuko, so she doesn’t have the same taboos that he does.

We switch over to Mai, who is sulking in Zuko’s study. She’s read Ty Lee’s letter a few times by now and is not impressed. She thinks that she’s entitled to be upset, given the situation, and I can’t fault her for that. “That a man so endearingly awkward and painfully sincere would betray her with anyone, let alone his manipulative bitch of a sister, was a permissible source of surprise.” While I don’t like how she describes Azula, I agree with the rest of her sentiment.

“That Azula would take fullest advantage of his lapse was not.” This is ridiculous, though. What, did Azula plan to escape while she was ovulating so that she would become pregnant when she seduced her brother? Is that how the story is going in your brain, Mai? Why would Azula do something like that? She’d be disgraced if anyone found out, just as much as Zuko (unless she spun it as rape, which IT WAS. But Mai seems to be thinking that Azula would make a false accusation). Azula certainly will be disgraced if she has a bastard. Also, her being pregnant is going to slow her down and make her more vulnerable. That’s such a stupid plan, and when have Azula’s plans ever been stupid?

“Mai bent her head and gripped her bandaged hand, to draw a deep breath against the grief that welled inside her like an aching void. A void that demanded how he could do this, how he could still defend her, how he could think she didn’t plan this, why—” Mai is struggling because she knows that she was mostly betrayed by Zuko (she no longer trusted Azula, so how could Azula betray her?), but she can’t help but think that Azula had an evil plan. Probably because if Azula did have an evil plan, then maybe Mai could someday forgive Zuko for falling for it.

Her uncle arrives and she tells him the news. “And Mai felt a rush of ruthless satisfaction, upon seeing the warden back into the desk adjacent to her, revulsion etched in every line of his aging face. It wasn’t just her. Zuko tried to act like this was a terrible but legitimate mistake, like it was at all comparable to anything he’d done wrong before. But her uncle knew. He knew it was an abomination.” Yeah, Zuko and Azula committed a big cultural taboo. It’s unsurprising that other people are reacting this way. Also, I’m sure some of Mai’s satisfaction is that finally, someone is on her side, rather than on Zuko’s or Azula’s.

Her uncle voices the idea that maybe the child isn’t Zuko’s at all—that Azula is trying to trap him with a lie—but Mai responds that whether it is or isn’t, Zuko will think it is, and that’s what will matter. She then reflects on her own sexual history with Zuko. They were sleeping together before he defected, and they continued to carry on without protection when he returned. It took two years before she became pregnant with Lu Ten, long enough that she’d wondered if Zuko was waiting to marry her until he was sure she could get pregnant. Which even she knows is a silly idea. He probably just didn’t think to make their union official until she got pregnant and he realized that he should do the “honorable” thing and wed her.

Mai is salty about Azula getting pregnant from one night with him, when it took so much longer for her. When her uncle asks her what she plans to do, she comments that Azula’s medical records have gone missing. Zuko might have them?

“‘Supposedly she almost died in the asylum,’ Mai explained, her words ringing strangely hollow to her own ears. ‘Her doctors said she would never fully recover. I wanted to know if I could reasonably expect this to kill her.’ She tried to imagine the princess bleeding out, that she might die screaming in the same agony Mai endured when Lu Ten was born—and couldn’t. But there would be time enough to consider why later.” Mai can’t imagine her ex-friend dying. As much as she hates Azula, I don’t think she genuinely wants Azula dead, as convenient as that would be for her.

She then subtly suggests to her uncle that they could make it look like Azula just bled out like that—a tragic turn of events, but not anyone’s fault. Mai then accuses Zuko of being irrationally protective of Azula and that he’ll set Mai aside if she moves against Azula openly. I’m not sure Zuko would really do that, since he loves Mai deeply, but I don’t think their marriage would ever recover if Mai killed Azula.

Her uncle notices her hand, and we get this sweet moment: “Mai put her hand in his offered palm without hesitation. A reflex born of the first months she spent training with knives under his tutelage, when he had often [sic] to tend nicks and cuts gained in her practice. When Mai showed no signs of firebending by her fifth birthday, it was her Uncle Tom who first put a blade in her hand, and offered his home for the summer, so she might learn to use it.” When Mai mentioned that her current injury was an accident, her uncle adds, “‘A man like that isn’t worth hurting yourself over.’”

This is a genuinely sweet relationship, and it makes me wish that he had been the one who raised Mai, instead of her parents. She probably would have learned how to express her emotions in a healthy way, rather than bottling them up. He also doesn’t seem to care that she was a girl and had gender roles to conform to. Really, I’m glad that he’s in her corner. She needs someone to be, because this situation is legitimately awful for her.

Mai gets a hug from her uncle, which I think she’s needed for a while. She thanks him for being there for her and not saying, “I told you so,” because her uncle never approved of Zuko. They even make a joke about the situation, about how neither of them thought Zuko would cheat on her with his sister, which is some very dark humor.

Things take a turn when her uncle comments that the Royal family has been corrupt since Sozin, to which Mai replies that he should be careful, because her son is one of them. Tsutomu then suggests that he doesn’t have to be—that if something happened to Zuko, Lu Ten could be raised away from the toxicity of the paternal side of his family. Mai doesn’t like this idea, but her uncle keeps pushing, suggesting that if Zuko has cheated once, maybe he’s done so before and will do so again. Mai shoots this line of reasoning down, because she’s questioned their household about it and knows better, and doesn’t think that Zuko will stray again. Tsutomu keeps suggesting that they could have Zuko killed, and Mai tells him to stop thinking about it. He insists that he would never do anything without her consent. I want to trust him on this, but given later events, I worry that he might have some involvement there. If he does, it will be a case of him thinking that he knows what’s best for her, rather than respecting her wishes.

We then shift back to Azula, who was being pursued by Fong’s men, but managed to shake them when she entered the swamp. Unfortunately, her mount broke its leg when they were running down the mountain, so Azula had to put it down. What a waste! It would have been cruel to let it suffer, though. Azula wanted to trade her ostrich horse for a different mount, but the sandbenders never showed up. She travelled in the desert for a while, keeping the mountains in sight to avoid getting lost, but she needed more water before long. That was when she was discovered by Fong’s men, and she has a couple of sardonic thoughts about how her “famous luck” hadn’t helped her out.

She then starts trekking through the standing water in the marsh, and I’m already shuddering at the thought of all of the mosquitos there. Though they’re probably crossed with something like a wasp to make them extra horrible. Azula climbs up a tree to see if she can spot her pursuers, and thinks about how stupid they were to advertise their intentions in a fight. Fair! We also get the interesting tidbit that benders and nonbenders in the Earth Kingdom tend to work together in squads, whereas this team was specifically all earthbenders and was patrolling during peace time. Azula takes this to mean that they were searching for her. We also learn that Azula is heading to an avatar shrine.

Azula’s pack is waterlogged at this point, and she sighs in a way that reminds her of Mai. This thought leads her to reflect on her ex-friend, much like Mai was doing earlier in the chapter. There is a humous moment where Azula thinks that Mai would have given herself up to avoid stepping into the swamp, and then a bitter one as she thinks, “You never minded getting your hands dirty except in the most literal sense. Yet it was you and not Ty Lee who finally suffered a crisis of conscience—” Meaning that Mai’s betrayal really did come out of nowhere for Azula.

At this, Azula starts hallucinating Mai. She nearly falls out of the tree in surprise, with her pack opening up and her supplies tumbling into the water. Hallucination!Mai is offended by Azula’s thoughts, reminding Azula that she loved Zuko and didn’t want his blood on her hands. Azula, after a moment, reminds herself that she’s not in the asylum anymore, so what she’s seeing could just be a trick of the light or her imagination…except the Gaang ran into visions in this swamp, so it might be magic at work.

Azula tries to get herself back onto the branch properly, but can’t manage a full crunch. Oh buddy, I feel you. She then does the way more impressive thing by swinging backwards, releasing the branch, and grabbing the vines to stop her fall on the way down. She notices that her pursuers are spreading out around the edge of the swamp, probably to intercept her when she emerges. She figures they’ll wait for reinforcements and might try to flush her out when they have better numbers.

Azula considers that there might be dangers in the swamp that she’ll have to deal with, such as “deadly beasts or hostile primitives.” (Sigh.) Sometimes, her being from an imperialist society rears its ugly head. She figures that she needs to make her way to the far end of the swamp before her pursuers do. She takes some time to regather her supplies and then starts the wet trek, while being swarmed by mosquitos. She decides to heat the air around her to try to drive them off. I wish I could do that on summer evenings!

We shift over to Zuko, who is fighting with a team of Dai Li. Looks like he and June have arrived at the hideout! June has coated her whip in shirsu weapon, which works well and makes her match with Nyla. Zuko notes that the Dai Li are trying to use lethal force on him and June, since they aren’t there on official Fire Lord business, so no one will know who killed them. June at one point does a handspring that would have impressed Ty Lee, which is a fun detail, and then Zuko pulls a leaf out of June’s book and makes some fire whips. Once they’ve taken care of the team, they go through the cave and pass by the crystal cells, which June doesn’t bother to check because there are no guards around. Zuko has a sinking feeling that some of the guards must have smuggled June’s dad out and they’ll have to start the search all over again, which means that one of the unconscious men they left behind might get a spot of torture. BUT Nyla knocked out the guards before they could flee on ostrich-horseback, so June’s dad is fine and trying to get his cuffs off.

June’s father is a balding man with a squarish face and glasses. He teases June for taking so long, and then notices Zuko. There’s an argument about the logistics of the fight, the point of it being that June wasn’t sure if Zuko was going to hold his own, and that if he got caught, she was worried that he would have told them which way June and her father ran. Zuko is insulted at the idea that he would have ratted them out, and asks if they would have left him behind. June says that they wouldn’t have, mostly because it would have come back to bite them if they had. Zuko reminds her that now that her father is free, it’s time for her to fulfill her part of the deal and track down Azula. June asks him if he has a scent sample from Azula on him, because the last one they had is ashes now, and led Nyla to him anyway.

He thinks there are still things in the house on Ember Island that they could use, and remembers some of what happened that night: “Her lips moved silently, forming the same word over and over again. He knew what word she spoke now, two months too late…. I used her no more kindly than him.” Yikes! That word is father and just…ugh. This twisted family. I was trying to explain the appeal of this fic to a friend last night, and I kept saying, “It’s really dark and heavy, but it’s fascinating from a psychological standpoint!”

The trio decide to head to Ember Island. If nothing there works as a sample, they’ll go to the palace. I don’t think there would be fresh enough scents there, so the beach house will have to work. Zuko thinks that after they find Azula, he’ll “make amends, the only way he had left.” Presumably he means to Azula, but he could also be talking about Mai, since Mai also wants Azula caught, though his sister’s fate afterwards would probably be darker than what Zuko wants.

We switch back to Azula, who is being badgered by Hallucination!Mai. I am a little amused about the joke she makes about Azula never lacking direction, though the direction was sometimes the wrong one. If this is Azula’s self-doubt talking, then that’s an acknowledgement that she’s made mistakes and hasn’t always gone down the right path, which flies in the face of her usual self-confidence. There is a suggestion that this hallucination is actually a swamp vision, rather than a symptom of Azula’s mental illness. Unlike her normal hallucinations, this image of Mai vanishes as soon as she looks too closely at it. “Strange that the hallucinations at the asylum never did that.”

This Mai talks more than the hallucinated version of her did. “‘You ever think maybe I didn’t say much, ‘cause I knew you didn’t care what I had to say?’” this Mai says. Azula, tired and bitter, snaps back sarcastically, pointing out that she asked for Mai’s council many times and trusted her as much as she allowed herself to trust anyone. I suspect part of what’s going on here is that Azula is grappling with her fear about how other people—specifically the people she loved—view her. She fears that they see her as a monster and that they’re right to do so, because of the choices she’s made. It’s one thing to have your family by blood betray you, but another thing to have your chosen family do so.

Azula admits that she used Mai’s “infatuation” with Zuko for her own self-gain (clearly not realizing the depth of Mai’s love for Zuko), but that she “still expected Mai to be smart enough to act in her own self-interest.” She was secure in that belief, otherwise she wouldn’t have brought Mai to the Boiling Rock or let Mai have the “first crack at Zuko.” From the sound of it, Azula thought that she was giving Mai a chance for revenge over being left behind by Zuko. Except that Mai couldn’t stand by as he was killed….

Which Azula doesn’t understand. “‘He was a traitor!’ Azula screeched in disbelief, her fist clenched so hard she could feel every bone in her hand. ‘He betrayed you just as much as me! And you still chose him!’ Her voice broke. I was your friend first. He wasn’t anything to you anymore. He ended it in a letter, too much of a coward to tell you to your face. He hadn’t even left her a letter, or any warning of what to expect, the next time she was called before their father….”

While it was a good thing for the world that Zuko chose to help Aang, these are all solid points. Zuko did betray his Fire Lord and nation, so from their perspective, he is a traitor (who, in addition to defecting, then took the throne from Ozai’s appointed heir). He didn’t break up with Mai in person. He didn’t think about what Ozai might do to Azula afterwards. Zuko could certainly have handled the latter situations better.

Vision!Mai devalues Azula’s friendship next, saying that it didn’t compare to his love, and that Zuko was the love of Mai’s life, whereas Azula was a monster. It’s playing right into Azula’s deeply held belief that the reason no one loves and chooses her is because there’s something inherently wrong with her—something that isn’t wrong with Zuko (even though Zuko has fucked up in this story real bad).

Azula punches a tree in anger and thinks that the hallucinations have said worse to her than this, which is super sad. What’s even sadder is that Azula thinks the same things about herself, even without them around: “didn’t Azula think that about herself every day?” She needs some real therapy, not whatever she was getting in the asylum.

Azula is lost by this point, and decides that she needs to find a dry place to sleep and recover, rather than continuing to drain herself by wandering around. Once she gets into the hollow of an old tree trunk, she takes off her socks and boots to avoid trench foot. Good plan! Though couldn’t she also dry out both with her bending? Probably for the best to let her feet air out, though. She then tries to eat, but her food has bog-water in it, and the rice apparently looks like maggots. Gross! She gets sicks, which could be from her morning sickness, from a blood-borne disease from the mosquitos, from the contaminated food, or from a combination of the above. After throwing up a second time—the Fire siblings both have delicate stomachs this chapter!—she decides to stick to drinking water instead.

Azula is getting chills now, which suggests that she’s genuinely sick. She then sees Vision!Mai again, who gives her a nasty Reason You Suck Speech. She accuses Azula of not knowing what love or trust is—excuse me, Ty Lee is proof that that’s not true!—and then adds, “‘You never respected me, or my boundaries, or anything that was mine.’” I’m trying to remember if there was evidence for this in the show, or if this is Azula trying to come up with reasons for why Mai turned on her, and wondering if it was these things? That Azula feels guilty about this, though, shows that she is capable of seeing what she did wrong and learning from it. She can grow as a person…though she needs to be allowed to do so by the people around her. Ty Lee gave her that chance and now their relationship is much healthier. But it’s hard to grow when the people around you keep punishing you for what you did, and never believe that the growth you’ve made is genuine.

Mai then asks, “‘Why else would you seduce [Zuko]?’” which Azula denies, saying she didn’t mean for it to go that far. Apparently, Azula hoped that the kiss would distract him, and then she’d be able to chi-block him so he couldn’t move. Unfortunately, he reacted by throwing her into a nightstand, and after she twisted her ankle, there was no running away.

Mai accuses her of lying—that she did it because she saw Zuko’s weakness and was exploiting it. She asks, “‘How did it feel when he did that to you?’” and Azula doesn’t respond. I think this is where, if she’d felt any pleasure or satisfaction from the sex, it would sneak in and provide an extra layer of shame. That it doesn’t suggests that all Azula felt was violation and pain in the act.

Mai says that this must be why Azula hates her—not because of the betrayal of their friendship, but because she “played the game better than [Azula]. And [Azula] lost.” If I’m parsing this right, Azula thinks that Mai believes that Azula wanted Zuko, and that because Mai won Zuko, Mai got more political power than Azula, beating Azula at the political game. It’s an ugly take, and while I don’t think Mai’s accusations are fair—because we’ve seen from Azula’s perspective what her motives were—this does show that Azula knows Mai quite well, because the real Mai’s thoughts run along similar lines as the vision’s. Real Mai believes that Azula seduced Zuko to blackmail him and continue playing the political game, when in reality, it was a terrible mistake. Azula might have “started it,” thanks to Ozai’s training, but she never would have considered kissing Zuko if Ozai hadn’t done what he did.

Azula asserts that she hasn’t lost until she’s dead. I don’t think she means “winning Zuko” when she says this. She then puts out the fire and goes to sleep, dreaming about her father. After Zuko was banished, her training went into high gear, with more lessons on statecraft and the like. She was so busy that she didn’t have time to miss Zuko—which is definitely a lie—and he would have spoiled her happiness anyway by sulking and trying to get their dad’s attention. “It had been a source of amusement one, but they were not children anymore.” Oh honey, you both were children during canon. Maybe Zuko and the water siblings came of age during the show, but that age was still below what we would currently consider the age of majority.

Azula wondered what Zuko would have thought about the sexual training Ozai inflicted on her. Not that she would ever have told Zuko. We then get a series of thoughts that were almost certainly things Ozai told her: “[Azula and Ozai were] willing to do whatever it took to succeed, to survive. [Zuko] would never realize that people will use anything against you, unless they are too afraid of your doing the same.” This is a paranoid way of looking at the world and the people around you, and also self-defeating. If people are afraid of you, they will turn on you the moment they think they can get away with it (and sometimes even before then—Mai knew that she was throwing her life away when she saved Zuko, but she did it regardless). Love and trust, on the other hand, are what makes people will stick by you, even if you’re a walking disaster.

“[Zuko] never saw his own peril, until it was too late. Sometimes Azula thought he still didn’t see it.”—Foreshadowing!

Azula then thinks about the training itself. “Her father said it would hurt the first time”—that’s a myth. If you have a vagina and are aroused and lubricated enough, even the first time shouldn’t hurt. “—but it didn’t only hurt the first time. Sometimes it was hard to know what he wanted, and he was as intolerant of failure in this as in her firebending.” This is awful, but also, Ozai sounds like a terrible sexual partner. You’re supposed to communicate what you want and don’t want during sex. You can’t expect your partner to intuitively know that. They’re not psychic!

“As he should. It made her strong.” Azula, that training didn’t make you strong. It destroyed your boundaries and your ability to approach sex in a healthy way.

“It wasn’t always—Sometimes he would stay with her after, and just talk. She liked those times. It made her feel important. It made her feel loved.” She’s shying away from thinking of it as awful, even though she clearly felt that it was. The implication is also that she didn’t feel important or loved during their other interactions. Ozai, you are a TERRIBLE parent!

Which I think some part of Azula knows, because when she starts to feel the vines from the swamp wrapping around her, she imagines her dad molesting her. Still half-asleep, she lashes out with fire knives to free herself from the vines and runs out of her shelter. It’s daytime—Azula missed rising with the sun—and Azula is sicker now than she was the night before: “Her head pounded, her heart hammered, her joints ached like she took a beating. Her skin burned so hot that steam rose from her body when she hit the water.” This could suggest that she was beaten by Ozai at some point, but then again, all of these characters have been in combat, so that might be what this comparison is referring to.

The plants keep trying to grab her, which I think indicates that the waterbenders in the swamp are trying to catch her. I seem to remember them being the ones in control of the vines, rather than the vines themselves being predatory. Azula manages to escape, but is winded from it, which means that she won’t be able to bend. She’s also dizzy, nauseous, and shivering uncontrollably. Plus, it’s actually evening now, so she slept through most of the day. Azula realizes that she has no idea where her old shelter is, so her supplies are lost to her. She’s experienced abdominal cramps, too, and wonders if she’s miscarrying.

“This was what you wanted, she reminded herself pointlessly, though she knew very well what her mother would say. That she deserved this, for wishing her baby dead. Her tears fell on the water when Azula bent forward to hug herself, head bowed as if she could hold the pain inside anymore—” This might be the first time that Azula thinks of the fetus as her baby, which indicates that she might not want to lose it as much as she thinks she does.

She then hallucinates child!Zuko, which is heartbreaking. He tells her not to cry, “his round face scrunched in the look of unstudied concern their mother loved so well, and which Azula could never recall him directing at her.” Ouch! The dysfunction in their relationship went back really far, didn’t it?

“Didn’t he know the world would beat him down over and over again so long as he kept that way? That not just Father and Azula, but every person with an ounce of cunning would take advantage of him when he wore his heart on his sleeve like that? She told him so many times, but he never listened until it was too late.” So she acknowledges that she and Ozai took advantage of his naivety. She certainly did when she tried to trick Zuko into coming home early in season two. But also, Azula has a point. There are people in the world who take advantage of emotionally open and giving people. I don’t think that the solution to this is to harden your heart, though. Instead, you need to surround yourself with people who genuinely care about you. Zuko did that with the Gaang, which is part of why he succeeded and Azula failed. I’ll also note that Zuko would have done better with Azula as his ally, since she would have been more discerning about who was allowed in his court, and could have told Zuko about their ulterior motives and told him the unpleasant truths he wouldn’t want to hear. As it is, Mai has taken on that role.

“Yet in the end, he prevailed. The world bent to him. He got to be himself without condition, but not her. Never her. She didn’t understand….” Zuko allied himself with what wound up being the winning side, due to Aang defeating Ozai. If Aang had fallen, Zuko’s fate would have been much grimmer.

Zuko made a better choice than Azula did, but it’s important to note that he knew he had a choice. I don’t think Azula realized that leaving was an option for her. Why would she, when she believed that her nation was the best in the world, that their cause was right, and that if she stayed loyal, she would be the ruler of it all in the end? She would have lost everything if she’d left, and gained…what? The Gaang, Iroh, and Zuko hated her, so she couldn’t go to them. Mai and Ty Lee hadn’t defected yet, so she would have been abandoning them. And while she would have escaped Ozai’s abuse, she also saw Ozai as the only person who valued her and loved her for who she was. Even if being around him hurt, it was better than being alone.

No one except Ozai, at any point, held out their hand to Azula and asked her to join them. So while she is responsible for her own choices, how much can we blame her for what she chose, when none of her alternatives seemed viable?

Child!Zuko says that they are playing a game of hide-and-seek, which is true in the grand scheme of this story. He claims that he’ll always find her, which Azula says she no longer wants. He’s disappointed, but insists that it’s getting dark out, so he’ll help her find her way. He then lights the tiniest flame in his hand. “Azula’s stomach clenched painfully at the sight, plucked out from her earliest memories and brought freshly to life. How desperately she wanted to bend when Zuko made his first flame, and she saw how their parents explained over him….” This suggests that neither of Azula’s parents paid much attention to her before she first firebent. No wonder she came to believe that their love was conditional, and that she had to excel at what she did to earn it.

Child!Zuko, seeing her sadness, assures her that she’ll learn how to firebend when she gets older. I think it was mentioned already that she learned when she was three, which is mind-boggling to think about, since she would have been a toddler. He adds that she’ll pick it up in no time, since she’s “smart for a girl.” Ah, that sexism. He could have left it at “you’re smart,” but he had to add that qualifier. While the Fire Nation is less overtly sexist than the EK and the NWT, it’s clear that sexism is still a problem there. That baby Zuko is saying things like this is symptomatic of that.

“Half of what he said might be condescending bullshit, but this was still more supportive than Azula could ever remember him being.” This is very sad, since it means that Zuko started treating her as an adversary very early on in their childhood, once she proved better at something than him. He was jealous of her for earning their father’s interest, for all the good that did her. He was “resentful” when she survived her fall at the Western Air Temple, which is so ugly. He should have been relieved. She thinks of other moments where his hatred for her was apparent, like during the Agni Kai, at the asylum, aaaaand….

“The night he raped her.” And there it is. She can’t bring herself to see what Ozai did to her as rape, but she views what Zuko did as such.

“And she couldn’t reconcile it. How the little boy who stood before her could do—” This is a fascinating parallel to Mai’s thoughts about Zuko earlier in the chapter. Neither of them can understand how he did this. I’m reminded of how shocking it is to find out that someone that you know and care about sexually assaulted someone. What do you do afterwards? The safest option is to cut ties with them, but that doesn’t address the difficulty in doing so when they’re your family, or the grief of doing so when you’ve loved them for so long, only to find out that they weren’t who you thought they were.

Azula starts to ask him why he did what he did, but I think she knows the answer to that—because Zuko hated her and wanted to punish her that night. So instead, Azula asks where this good, caring version of her brother was when she wanted him—which, in the context of this fic, was from the time she was a toddler until now.

“‘Dad killed me,’ the hallucination said forlornly. ‘And you laughed.’” Ozai destroyed Zuko’s innocence just as much as he destroyed Azula’s.

I thought this was a reference to Zuko and Ozai’s Agni Kai, but this seems to actually be referring to when Azulon told Ozai to kill Zuko, and Azula’s teasing about it: “Her chest clutched painfully when she remembered that night, the night her mother left. And Azula thought it was cruelly appropriate that it was not Ursa here with her, at the end.” Ouch!

“She whispered, ‘I didn’t mean it.’”—I believe her, but unfortunately, the real Zuko never realized that.

The vision version of him does, though. “Azula felt his presence as clearly as if he sat on the edge of her bed, when she pulled the covers over her head.” At some point, Azula was just a little girl who hid under the covers. “‘I know,’ she dimly heard him speak. And the last thing she felt was him hugging her shoulders, his head laid against hers.” This is heartbreaking. It’s an exchange they should have had in reality years ago, but one that they might never be able to have, now they’ve hurt each other so badly. This is one of the scenes that sticks with me the most, because of how tragic it is and how poignant the imagery is: of the tiny, kind version of Zuko hugging the adult version of his sister, who is being eaten away by sickness, grief, and remorse.

And on that tearjerking note, we have reached the end of chapter fifteen. As always, thank you for the read, Aurelia. Thank you also to the folks on FFN and Tumblr who have been encouraging me to work on these reviews. Your support has been keeping me going!

Until next time,

WiseAbsol

#Dominion by Aurelia le #Azula #avatar: the last airbender #fanfiction review #WiseAbsol

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lotussokka · 4 years

Text

so i had a thought: you know tropes of the closet romance novelist and of the virgin erotica novelist? now make it zuko, but keep it in the canon universe

WARNING: discussion of sexual content (18+ please), mentions of alcohol, mention of a minor (17) reading sexual content, and overtones you may find acephobic. this starts 5–6yrs post-canon.

if you are under 18 and you have opened this to read it anyway, that’s no longer my responsibility as i have warned you, but please do not interact with this post either way (please dont like, rb, or reply)

part 2 • part 3 • part 4

so firelord zuko — who has never had sex — secretly writes dirty scrolls under a pseudonym and somehow they become famous

maybe bc he just hasnt had the opportunity or bc he’s busy and it hasn’t been a priority. maybe he’s Waiting for the Right Person™, he doesnt feel ready, or he’s worried about the power imbalance from being the firelord. maybe he’s on the ace spectrum... whichever you vibe with the most works bc it really doesn’t matter. sex isn’t essential and virginity is a bullshit construct but it is pivotal to this narrative so if that’s a problem for you, this isn’t the post for you

it starts with an erotically charged poem appreciating the male form that he anonymously submits to a new caldera city literary society

zuko thought he was writing artsy commentary about how people’s bodies have been misused as tools of war and how we’re reverting back to our natural form but its REALLY horny instead of wise

@zukostransboyfriend said, as i’m sure many of you are thinking: and sokka, known lover of poetry,

but NO youre all getting ahead of me. there are more steps!

so he writes another one since the first one was such a hit — still not realizing he’s essentially writing softcore porn

he doesnt think anything of it bc its not Sex™ and he’s seen a few dirty scrolls and they were crude and always heterosexual and his appreciation of watching the guards spar is purely out of his joy of seeing their strength and agility not being used for war anymore and for no other reason

the poems get fairly popular in the city and uncle iroh comes to visit and zuko is like “uncle i think your proverbs have finally sunk in! ive been writing these poems about healing from the war and i want to know what you’d think!”

uncle iroh starts reading one and its a bit flowery in its language but not unpleasantly so and then zuko starts talking about Hands and he looks up at zuko trying to figure out if he knows

ZUKO DOES NOT KNOW

AND HE ISNT ABLE TO LOOK HIS UNCLE IN THE EYE FOR DAYS

BC WTF

now that he knows, he stops writing them but then it becomes a big thing in the caldera bc the Dragon of the Caldera has stopped writing

its like the theft of the mona lisa, now that its gone everyone is interested and speculating about the identity of the dragon of the caldera

and thats when it starts spreading to neighboring villages and islands and then out of the fire nation (but zuko doesnt know this until much later)

mai knows it’s him, not bc hes told her but bc she knows him and she knows that poem 6 was specifically about the soldier-turned-guard that recently requested to start working as a gardener bc 1.) the specificity of the concept and 2.) “come on zuko youre so obvious. you were just about drooling when he brought in that wheelbarrow of mulch”

zukostransboyfriend added: If he’s sexy enough pushing around some mulch then he deserves a poem or two

(the gardener is very sexy and zuko wrote multiple lines comparing him to the strength of the earth but the gentleness of an orchid with so many flower metaphors that definitely sound like theyre about sex but it was just zuko doing a really bad impression of his uncle)

he does some Gay Panic about it to her bc mlm/wlw solidarity ✊✊ and some angsting about how hes Tainted by associating with such a vile perverse art

and mai is like “you’re so fucking dramatic its just sex”

zuko is Not appeased by that reply so she sits up, looks him in the eye, and says, "look. sex isnt the perverse, scary thing you think it is. your father is just weird, and controlling, and probably fear-mongered you about ‘purity of the royal bloodline’ and ‘being soiled by the touch of men’ (#trans zuko lyfe 5ever) or whatever, but that’s not how it really is. you know that, right?”

and finally after a few nights of stewing and pacing his chambers about it, he decides to try to write another poem

and its Bad

bc he was thinking about the detached impersonal graphic porn scrolls he stumbled upon during his banishment and thinking thats what sex is when he wrote it

but he submits it anyway and theres scandal bc

does the Dragon have a copycat? (the literary group confirms that the new poem was written in the same hand as the others.)

has the Dragon lost their muse?

or worse, have they started seeing some and theyve been focusing their passion on him?

and zuko angsts about the fact that it’s so bad and gets drunk with mai and toph (she showed up to visit and somehow immediately found out. he has no idea how considering she cant read. and he doesnt want to think about his Little Sister reading his dirty poetry even if she is almost 18 now)

zukostransboyfriend added: toph who cannot read: im a literary critic now

mai is like “so what if it’s bad? it’s not like you wanted to write good porn”

zuko is very much not satisfied with that answer

but then toph imparts toph-ly wisdom and tells him “if you wrote good poems when you were talking about the Beauty Of Healing From The War or whatever, then just write more thinking about that”

it takes a while for him to finally get the courage to write another one.... weirdly enough this one is about aang. zuko is uncomfortable about the fact that what he wrote about his friend and the beauty of the four elements is probably highly erotic but also its the first draft that was good enough to get the okay from ty lee (who has become his unofficial editor via mai) so he submits it

and the city Loves it

and then zuko gets on a roll bc he’s figured out how to intentionally write what people read as good porn by writing some sentimental emotional-release to deal with his stressful job

meanwhile the poems are being circulated around the world and being compiled into small pamphlets and then into larger books (won shi tong sighs as his knowledge seekers bring him yet another of the firelord’s dirty poetry books to put in the burnt out fire nation wing

part 2 • part 3 • part 4

#zukka #zuko #zukka hc #atla hc #atla #parts 2 and 4 need a little work before i post them but 3 is done (i'll hopefully post the second part this evening)#and an enormous shoutout to ben zukostransboyfriend for enduring me typing out this hc for a solid 2.5 hours the other night #i personally hc zuko as being on the aspec but yes im ace. yes im horny. we exist.#but if you dont thats not in conflict with any part of this #toph&zuko #mai&zuko #mine #totally okay to reblog if you are a legal adult #i will come back to link the other posts as i post them #nsft #alcohol /

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is-that-another-soulmate-au · 4 years

Text

Zukaang soulmate au part 20

@mypureessence

@chaoticidiott

It all happened so fast, he was prepared for the lightning to strike him but had to switch when he saw it aimed at Katara. He had grown fond of her in a way he used to be with Azula and wished he could still be with her. He lept in front to block the blow and everything went black.

Was he brave or was he stupid? Katara couldnt tell, she went to run towards him but another lightning bolt struck in her path and she ran. She had to get to him before he got worse. 'If it passes your heart you could die' the phrase rung in her head like storm. She couldn't lose him. He was like a second brother to her, a quieter brother one she could talk to and not expect a response back unless needed. She needed to get to him before Azula did, before he died and the mark kn Aang's hand faded like the one on Zuko's neck did aftrr Ba Sing Se.

Running from Azula she found herself over a grate with water running under it. She could use this but she needed something else. Her eyes shifted to a metal chain hanging on the wall. Bingo. When Azula sauntered over Katara held the chains behind her back as she stared at the hurting girl across the grate. A girl who was her own age, she suffered differently than her. Azula was groomed and Katara was subdued. Two ends of the spectrum leading to two different girls with opposite powerful bending abilities.

It happened fast, they stepped forward and then she froze them. Moving she took Azula's arms and managed to tie them around the grate with the chain. As soon as rhe chain was tight enough to hold she dropped the ice.

Both of them gasped for air but Katara tightened the chains before running to Zuko. He was hardly moving but his breathing was still there "keep breathing" she whispered while collecting some water around her hands and pressing them to his wound. Hearing a groan from him she continued healing him but turned to see him staring up at her with a small grin "thank you Katara"

"I should be the one thanking you" she said before wrapping her arms around him and helping him up

"Careful, Ive got some... extra scars" he said as she went to steady him.

"I know, Bato has the same. Let's get you out of here, and send for some help for her okay?" She said turning to Azula

Zuko watched his baby sister cry out in anger but more so grief. She had been through alot, none of it excused her, but it certainly explained her. He gave sad sigh "yeah, lets go"

They made their way tk the medical wing of the palace and the staff were a bit timid coming up to the lair given that Zuko was about to collapse and Katara looked like a mother bear with a wounded cub. But she softened her expression and simply said "please, I can only do so much with my bending, he has someone to live for, help" and the staff jumped into action with Katara at their side to guide them through the exact areas she needed help in.

He was out until the next evening. When he opened his eyes he groaned out "where am I?" And gave the hand holding his own a squeeze only to be met by a gasp and a hug around his neck

"You're awake" Aang mumbled against his neck.

"I am? I figured this was another little spirit visit"

"You went to the spirit world?"

"No, I was making a joke..."

"It wasnt very good love" Aang gave a small kiss to Zuko's cheek

"Maybe I should take lessons from Sokka then?"

Aang gave a face and then laughed "no, please no, i don't need more Sokka style jokes"

If Zuko could make Aang smile and laugh like that all the time there would be no need for anything else. Gods he was stunning. Zuko reached out and held Aang's face in his hand only to watch Aang's face drop into a sad expression as he seemed to piece things together.

"Zuko, I thought I had lost you" he whispered while leaning into Zuko's hand

"Im sorry" Zuko whispered back

"I was so scared that the last time we talked I screamed at you and... and.. and you... you were dying werent you?"

"I was, but Katara saved the day again" He said with a fond grin

"She really is brilliant huh?" Zuko nodded "let's promise never to get hit by lightning again... okay?" He held up his pinky finger

"Promise" Zuko whispered while linking his pinky with Aang's.

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nights-legacy · 4 years

Text

Over Time- Eventual!Zuko

+ Kira is an airbender a few years ahead of Aang in training. Her and Aang are as close as siblings. She goes with him into the storm and is there when they are forced down, joining Aang in his journey 100 years later. Unlike Aang, Kira notices there is something different the moment she gets her barrings outside the ice. The first kicker to be something wrong is the size of the Southern Water Tribe. The second being a prince of the Fire Nation was certainly not Azulon.

Note: This will be a slow burn romance. This was a scenario that has been in my head for a bit and the name stuck when I was imagining it, so the reader (you! lol) is Kira.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kira’s POV

“Aang!” I ran through the halls looking for the boy. “Aang, please! Where are you?” I called. I stopped, exasperated. I sighed after catching my breath but paused halfway through. On a feeling, I look right and saw a running figure. I followed until I saw Appa and knew it was Aang. I ran and vaulted myself onto Appa’s back.

“Kira! What are you doing?” Aang turned toward me surprised. He looked like he had been crying. “Go back!”

“No, I am not letting you do this alone.”

“You’re…you’re not going to make me go back?” I shook my head and hugged him.

“No I know you need to get away but I won’t let you go alone.”

“Thank you, Kira. I don’t know what I would do without you. Get settled, a storm is coming.” I nodded and settled myself in the saddle. We flew and the rain came. We kept going until it was too dangerous.

“Aang we need to land! It’s getting too dangerous!” I yelled over the wind. Aang looked back at me and I saw worry and fear in his eyes. He nodded and tried to land Appa but a lightning strike scared Appa, him to jerk and stall.

“Appa! Kira!” I heard Aang yell barely over the ringing in my ears. I couldn’t see anything but all of a sudden, I felt the cold of the water below before I didn’t. Air surrounded me before I blacked out.

*Time Skip brought to you by Katara and her Water Magic*

“Kira! Kira! Wake up please!” I groaned before opening my eyes. I quickly moved my hand to block the sun. “Thank the spirits.”

“Aang?” I saw him and two other people standing over me. I sat up slowly. “What’s going on?”

“We crashed into the water. I was able to create a bubble that froze and we fell asleep.” He scratched the back of his neck in guilt. “I’m sorry, Kira.”

“It’s okay, Aang.” I hugged him. “Where are we?”

“You’re in the Southern Water Tribe. I’m Sokka, this is my sister Katara.” The boy held out his hand for me and helped me up.

“Are you an Airbender too?” Katara asked. I smiled and nodded.

“Yes. I am Kira. I am 16 years old. We are from the Southern Air Temple.” I held out a hand to Katara. She smiled and shook it.

“Kira is like an older sister to me. She is the closest friend before Monk Gyatso.” As they talked, I looked around. Something felt different. The air felt different around me, heavier. Not long after, we made way to their village. It was a lot smaller than I remember.

We were greeted warmly. I was enjoying the tranquilty and the people. The food not so much but it was alright. It was nice until the Fire Nation showed up. The feeling I got from earlier intensified.

“Something is not right.” I said as Aang boarded the ship. He turned and shared a look with me before disappearing into the machine. I held Katara back by the hands so she wouldn’t use her bending. She looked at me surprised. “You are not trained enough to fight them yet.” They left on the ship

“Why did they not take you two?” Sokka looked at me confused.

“They didn’t think I was a bender. I do not have the tattoos and I dress with a different color then the normal Air Nomad colors.” I said motioning to my blank skin and the purple wrap around my waist. “Not tell me…” I looked at them intently. “How long has it been since Avatar Roku disappeared?”

“It’s been over a hundred years.” Sokka told me while rubbing his arm. I closed my eyes and took a big breath. “How did you know? That more time had passed then Aang thinks?”

“I could feel a change in the air. I have had more spiritual training then Aang and I have always had a knack for sense on a different spectrum. Also, when we feel asleep, there were a bountiful amount of benders in the Southern Water Tribe and the Crown Prince of the Fire Nation’s name was not Zuko.”

“Oh…” Katara and Sokka shared a look. I ran towards Appa as he grew antsy. I turned back and saw the two were gone. I sighed and set my head against Appa.

“Those two are going to go after him.” I looked over my shoulder at Gran Gran. “They are good kids and they will go try and save him.”

“They won’t be going alone.” I turned completely toward her.

“Please watch over them I know they won’t be back for a long time. Their destinies have intertwined with yours and the Avatar’s.”

“I give you my word.” She smiled before she pulled something out of her sleeve. It is small trinket with a small white lotus. I gasped.

‘This was given to me by my mother. She said her friend from the Southern Air Temple gave it to her just before she disappeared. Her friends name was Kira.”

“Mira…you’re Mira’s daughter.” She placed the comb in my hair before she hugged me and sent me on my way. I wiped the stray tear from my eye as I found the two. “What do you to think you are doing?” I said, spooking them.

“Ummm…” Sokka looked down at the canoe and them back up at me on Appa. “Going after Aang?” He said unsure. I chuckled and looked ahead where the ship was a ways away.

“Not in that you’re not. You would never catch them.” I clicked and told Appa to land. “Get on. I’ll give you a lift.” I smirked as a smile spread across both of their faces.

*Time Skip*

“Who even are you?” Zuko asked me harshly. I sat with my arms tied behind my back on the ground. He was currently circling me like a predator. I had stayed behind, stalling Zuko so Aang and the others could escape. Aang didn’t want to leave me but I gave him no choice. “You dress in the clothes of the Air Nomads. You act like one and you are protective of the Avatar as if you know him.”

“Because I do.” I said simply. Also, he didn’t know I was Airbender.

“He is over a hundred years old. You can’t!”

“But she does, Zuko.” The older gentleman I came to know as Iroh stepped up. I smiled and bowed my head. He did as well. “Because she is as well. If my guess is correct, you’re older then the Avatar.”

“Yes.” Zuko was looking at me intently. I sighed before standing. He got into a ready position. I jumped and flipped around to bring my hands in front of me. “I’m sorry.”

“What?” He asked confused. I brought my hands up before kicking into the air, forcing a gust straight towards him. He flew back. “You’re an air bender.”

“That I am.” I flipped a dropped blade from the ground and caught the ropes, cutting them. Zuko darted and shot a blast of fire at me. I pushed it aside before grabbing his arm, blocking him. “Why do you fight?”

“To regain my honor. To regain my father’s favor.” He pulled out of my hold and fought me. I blocked each attack.

“The only person who can give and take you honor is you. No one else has that authority over your life but you. Not your father, not your sister, not even your uncle, only you!” I told him before I hit him in the chest. He flew back into a tree, getting knocked out. “I am sorry, Iroh.”

“It is okay, my dear. If only he would listen.” Iroh handed me my staff.

“He will over time.” I smiled at him. I bowed and so did he.

“The White Lotus. A flower of beauty, truth, and philosophy. People who bare the flower usually ones who share ancient knowledge despite divides.” I reached up and brushed my fingers across the comb. “Maybe we can speak over tea sometime?”

“I would love that.” I said. I walked over and knelt beside Zuko, brushing a finger across his scarred cheek. “One day things will fall into place.” I stood and walked to the edge of the cliff. “Good evening, Iroh.”

“Good evening.” I dove off the cliff and fell through the air. I opened my staff just a few yards from the ground flying off into the night.

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unliikelylovers · 4 years

Note

001 Mailee, Maiko

mailee

when I started shipping it if I did

the end of the boiling rock when ty lee risked everything for mai ....... bro

my thoughts

i just. love them

they’re like the two ends of the hwc student spectrum and it’s beautiful

what makes me happy about them

goth x prep dynamic,, yes

what makes me sad about them

honestly i haven’t really sought out mailee angst but i’m certain there are amazing opportunities

things done in fanfic that annoy me/things I look for in fanfic

honestly, i really don’t read that much mailee fic?

for things that annoy me tho, the fact that for most fics tagged mailee they’re just kinda in the background of zukka

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other

for mai, zuko

for ty lee, i don’t really ship her with anyone else

(i think she had a crush on az*la but i very vehemently do not ship az*la with anyone srry)

my happily ever after for them

literally just vibing. happily married. growing old together. yeah 🥺

who is the big spoon/little spoon

i can see this either way for them tbh

like my first instinct is big spoon mai

but i’m also soft for couples where the shorter one is the big spoon like 🥺

what is their favorite non-sexual activity

idk i don’t have enough mailee hcs i’d love more

maiko

when I started shipping it if I did

that moment in the last episode where zuko sees her and just looks so happy!!

“mai! you’re okay!” gives me so much serotonin

my thoughts

i go back and forth on whether i actually ship it bc i also think they’re both probably gay but you know what, for an obligatory canon het ship it’s very sweet and i enjoy it

also very good if they’re best bros who thought they had feelings for each other bc of comp het/internalized homophobia but turns out they just, are friends who are both very gay

what makes me happy about them

goths in love :^)

“i don’t hate you” “i don’t hate you too”

what makes me sad about them

early season 3 when zuko’s goin Thru It and he continually ignores her and disregards her feelings :( men are so headache

things done in fanfic that annoy me/things i look for in fanfic

don’t really read maiko fic tbh

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other

for mai, ty lee

for zuko, sokka

my happily ever after for them

mai as a powerful fire lady consort, zuko finally feeling safe in the palace because she’s around

who is the big spoon/little spoon

zuko is literally always the little spoon for everyone so mai is the big spoon

what is their favorite non-sexual activity:

i love the idea of them sitting together under the tree near the turtleduck pond and just talking for hours

#did it work now #mailee #maiko

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secretlyatargaryen · 4 years

Text

Zuko's monologue to Aang in "The Siege of the North, Part 2" is particularly interesting for what it tells us about Zuko and how he sees himself, and his quest. Since Aang is unconscious, he isn't so much talking to Aang as he is to the audience. It's exposition for our benefit, but it's also done in a believable way because Zuko often expresses his feelings aloud like this, to someone or something who isn't going to respond back, as a way of understanding them himself.

Zuko: I finally have you, but I can't get you home because of this blizzard. There's always something. Not that you would understand. You're like my sister. Everything always came easy to her. She's a firebending prodigy, and everyone adores her. My father says she was born lucky. He says I was lucky to be born. I don't need luck, though. I don't want it. I've always had to struggle and fight and that's made me strong. It's made me who I am.

At this point in the story, we have not yet met Azula, though we will by the end of this episode. We've seen her in "The Storm," briefly, in the crowd watching Zuko's agni kai against his father, but that is easy to miss for a first time viewer (as it was for me). So this is really our first impression of Zuko's sister, who will become a major antagonist for both him and Aang.

Our first impression of Azula is Zuko comparing her to Aang. Of course, in terms of character, Azula and Aang exist on opposite ends of a spectrum, but Zuko compares them here because "she's a prodigy and everyone adores her," in contrast to himself, who is "lucky to be born."

This tells us some important information about Zuko's relationship to his sister and his place in his family, as well as how he sees his place in the world, but also interestingly, it tells us how he views Aang.

Zuko does not know Aang, beyond basic facts like "is the avatar and an airbender, is a kid, travels around on a flying bison and has two water tribe kids traveling with him." He perhaps knows that Aang is a friendly kid who extended a weird offer of friendship to Zuko, his enemy, and saved his life, but Zuko is not ready to process that yet. He's spent enough time fighting Aang to know that Aang is a strong fighter and a powerful bender, but he really has no basis for assuming that things come easy to Aang. Aang is shown to be a prodigy, mastering airbending at a young age and picking up waterbending moves that it took much longer for Katara to learn, to the latter's frustration. This is implied to be part of being the avatar, so it's not off the mark for Zuko to assume that this is the case. However, this assumption tells us more about Zuko and his own insecurities than it does about Aang.

We learn that Zuko has a sister who he measures himself against, that he thinks of himself as not good enough, and that his father also thinks so. We learn that things do not come easy to Zuko, but that this has caused him to view himself as a fighter, something echoed in this episode by Sokka saying "one thing we know about Zuko is that he never gives up."

Later in the series, we learn that Zuko thought that he was one of the "good guys," and that his country was fighting a righteous war. Framed in that light, Zuko's mission to defeat the avatar then becomes a righteous mission to capture a being of ultimate power who is the greatest threat to his nation. This is also how Zuko, despite being the prince of a colonizing nation, can see himself as the underdog. Aang is the avatar, things come easy to him, he's the lucky one, whereas Zuko has to struggle. Zuko is struggling and being a prince isn't what it seems to be, either. He's been banished, horribly abused, put on a fool's mission and tricked into believing that this will somehow restore a place in his family that really, never existed. But it makes sense that, given how he's been conditioned to think, he would see Aang as a representation for his personal struggles, rather than accepting the truth that his father is a cruel person who has hurt him as well as the rest of the world.

I think Zuko, on some level, also wants Aang to understand him, though he would only say these things to Aang while he is unconscious. He says something similar to Katara when he has her captive, trying to explain his motivation for his actions. Zuko feels a deep need to be understood and validated, which motivates most everything he does, especially at this point in the series. He is, on some level, looking for this in Aang despite seeing Aang as an enemy here, an antagonist that he has to measure himself against, just like his sister. The parallels between this scene and the one where Aang tells an unconscious Zuko about his friend Kuzon are fascinating. Aang, in contrast to Zuko, wishes he could view Zuko as a friend, whereas Zuko is still viewing Aang as an antagonist, but both speeches are motivated by a desire to connect, even if on Zuko's end it is hidden under much cognitive dissonance.

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zuko #aang #atla meta #azula

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analysisofavatar · 3 years

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“Katara’s mastered waterbending way too fast”

“Katara’s waterbending progression was super unrealistic”

It’s simple to just think that, yea, Katara’s waterbending progression was pretty much nonexistent because we didn’t see most of it. We didn’t necessarily need to see most of it- because a lot of it was already implied and a given.

The first reason being, Katara was so determined to master her native element. She was the type of person to do things until she got them done right, and if we all know Katara, she never backed down from a challenge. Her willingness to work at and perfect the art of waterbending was very well shown.

Hence:

-her leaving her home and village with only her brother and some boy she had only known for a day on top of his flying bison

-her stealing a waterbending scroll from literal pirates and fighting them for it

-her blowing up at Aang because she was frustrated at how he was learning waterbending much faster than her

-her challenging a master water bender at the North Pole over her right to learn from him

Katara’s time with Pakku was also longer than we saw on screen. Not to say that the timing was exactly clear on how long Sokka, Katara, and Aang all stayed in the North Pole, but we can gather a certain time spectrum seeing as Katara went from nearly beginner to master in their time there. It makes sense that she spent a lot of time and dedication put into her training while with Pakku.

Another reason for Katara’s “speedy” progression and immense power... I think when talking about this topic people forget that in the very first episode (Katara being a complete beginner, not knowing how to even control her bending abilities), sliced and broke open an iceberg like 100 times her size...

This was not done through skill, nor strength on command. This was a completely natural way in which Katara displayed her bending. Through her emotions. The way she was able to break open this big of an iceberg strictly with her emotion and anger she placed towards Sokka shows you that Katara doesn’t just run off of skill or conscious power. She relies on her emotion, and her emotions run strong, and that’s something we should admire about her. It’s really fitting that the creators showed this in the very beginning of the show. It just displays what kind of person Katara is, in that she draws power from her emotional state.

Katara’s waterbending mastery throughout the three seasons kept getting stronger and stronger as well. She was a prodigy, just like Azula was as a fire bender, learning quick, and learning well. Katara’s mental and emotional strength, along with her willingness to succeed is what drove her forward.

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seyaryminamoto · 4 years

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Hey! Do you really like Zuko and Suki together or you just ship these two just so you can ship the best and hottest ship ever aka Sokkla? In any case, why do you think Zuko is better off with Suki out of all the avatar characters? Thank you and pls stay healthy.

XD well, it’s a mix of both, I guess.

The truth is, I read the comics and I sensed the romantic vibe between Zuko and Suki because I don’t think anyone who has had much experience with romantic fiction could see those scenes and not think there’s SOMETHING going on there. I mean, seriously, the hand reach in The Promise, Suki unnecessarily correcting herself in The Search to say EVERYONE is worried about Zuko, not just her, their moonlight conversation in Smoke and Shadow…? Come the heck on. If neither one was in a relationship, most people would be reading all those scenes as blatantly romantic.

Still, I stayed neutral as far as Zuko ships were concerned until I met a Zuki shipper who read my first story, The Reason, and roped me into Zuki without much trouble :’D (if you’re wondering, that was @jordanalane). It didn’t take her too much work to convince me to ship Zuki, because yes, it was convenient as heck to have Zuki happen when you ship Sokkla, but I was already half-on-board with it as I was…

Now then, if you’d like to know my actual, rational reasoning for why I’d ship it, the truth is that I’m not exactly the biggest Zuko fan (as some archive diving in my blog would show…), and most the ships I’ve seen for him seem to exacerbate what I really don’t like about his character. Meanwhile, Suki seems to do the exact opposite thing…

Mai is Zuko’s canon girlfriend, and I was more or less neutral towards this ship at first… but upon further reflection, I found I didn’t enjoy their relationship that much. Maybe they could work well with each other… if they were more mature and less impulsive :’) but Zuko’s behavior with Mai through most of Book 3 only convinced me that he’s absolutely not grown enough to have healthy romantic relationships with anyone (and seeing as Mai was pissed at him 9 times out of 10 throughout Book 3, I think my perception isn’t exactly off). Both have their faults, and boy, in the comics Mai is a much worse offender than Zuko if you ask me, but the point is that, while canon certainly has been very realistic by not turning their love story into the perfect, smoothest fairytale, I really don’t think they’re much good for each other as they are, and the only way they could get better in the future is if they grow a LOT, on their own, before trying their luck at being together again. The likelihood of that, however, isn’t exactly great :’D

Then there’s the most famous pairing for Zuko, Katara, who actually feels wrong to me for the exact same reasons as Mai would, despite Katara is on the opposite end of the spectrum Mai is, character-wise: the thing is, both Mai and Katara have a ton of things in common with Zuko, but not necessarily good things. If Zuko and Katara were, as well, less impulsive and more mature, they might make a decent enough match. But as they are in canon? They’re every bit as likely to self-destruct and tear each other down as Mai and Zuko were. Where Mai and Zuko share a jaded, gloomy perspective of the world, Katara and Zuko share a hot-headedness that means every tiny thing could easily lead to catastrophic, world-ending arguments between them. I mean, if Zuko could have huge arguments with someone as cold-blooded as Mai… just imagine with someone as hot-blooded as Katara :’) And I DO see the virtues of this ship, namely the ones that resemble, to a fault, my particular OTP… but I honestly can’t see Zuko and Katara being good influences on each other, romantically. Friendship-wise they could be healthier, but romance means expectations and complications that, like I said, I don’t think Zuko, as we last see him in canon, is prepared to deal with.

There’s other Zuko ships, naturally, and I won’t get into all of them, I just bring up these two because they’re the biggest ones… and so, why would I ship him with Suki rather than with Mai or Katara or anyone else? What exactly could make her a better match for him?

Suki has a few things in common with Zuko… but they’re not the things Mai and Katara have in common. The first, and most important of them for me, is that Suki (in her initial episode) seems to put a lot of stock in honor and duty as a Kyoshi Warrior. I’m not at all in the “Zuko is the most honorable man in the Avatar world!” camp, if anything I believe he needs to learn a LOT to really understand honor, even at the end of the show and at this point in the comics… whereas I don’t have the same feeling with Suki. Not only did she fight for her people, defending them from any threat even if she might die for it, she also was inspired by Aang, Sokka and Katara to travel the world, not with some angry intent to defeat the Fire Nation and end the war, but…

And while “changing the world” could easily be interpreted as “she wants to defeat the Fire Nation at any cost!”, what do we know Suki was up to between Books 1 and 2?

Suki wanted to HELP people. Compare this to the banished prince who stole from them instead… :’) Suki didn’t have an Avatar leading her group, telling her this was “the right thing to do”, she simply does it because she believes it is, deep down, and she doesn’t just wait around for someone else to step up, she chooses to take action by her own volition. She doesn’t need anyone telling her what’s right or wrong, she has strong enough principles that she can tell what is and what isn’t, all on her own :’) Doesn’t THIS sound like honor? Duty? Doesn’t this sound like someone who actually sets a great example, as far as these concepts go?

Compare this to Katara, who was easily influenced by Zuko into wanting to kill a man, who shifts between “I want to steal things because I feel I need them” and “OMG Toph how dare you scam people that’s so unethical” at the drop of a hat? Yes, Katara’s heart is in the right place, but Katara is highly emotional and hot-headed… so as many good intentions as she may have, she can do pretty awful things without even realizing how awful they are (as in the case of the theft, she doesn’t even blink about stealing clothes from people in The Headband and then is utterly aghast about what Toph is up to merely a few episodes later… come the heck on). Compare it, too, to Mai, who apparently loves her baby brother so very much (according to her fans and to Smoke and Shadow, at least…), but didn’t even blink when Azula decided they couldn’t trade a toddler for a king, and declared the deal was off without betraying the slightest hint of remorse? Do we really know that Mai has decent principles at all? She doesn’t exactly betray Azula because she ideologically disagrees with her, she does it to save Zuko. Which leads me to wonder, what on earth are Mai’s morals? What does she value other than Zuko? If she values Zuko more than anything… heh. Yikes. Definitely sounds like theirs will be a healthy relationship if that’s the case, huh?

I can’t imagine Suki being swayed easily by any wild or stupid ideas Zuko gets if she knows they’re stupid AND wrong. She’d put a stop to him where Katara or Mai could get swept into whatever he’s up to (whether out of excessive empathy or apathy, in either case), and she’d be likely to set him straight before Zuko can take anything too far. As far as morals go, I will always hold that Zuko leaves too much to be desired… but Suki really doesn’t. Could be because we don’t know Suki as well as we know the other characters, but what little we do see of Suki, she doesn’t do anything that merits much reprieve. Most importantly, she never needed, like I said, Aang or Sokka or anyone else to tell her what she had to do, to correct her morals or anything of the sort. This by itself already makes her, in my opinion, the best possible character, in canon, to stabilize Zuko and temper his most chaotic impulses while teaching him, by example, what honor really looks like.

Now, that’s not all: Suki is highly independent and has experience as a leader. Zuko has always tried to be independent too, succeeding in some situations, failing in others. Of course, there’s a stark difference between independence and loneliness, and Zuko does have tendencies to isolate himself from others whenever he gets stubborn and wants to prove himself… fortunately, that’s one of the things I do think the show helped him with, as he did learn there’s nothing wrong with asking others for help. Still, I’m sure Zuko would like to handle things on his own, without needing everyone to help him… and once again, Suki can set an example for him in that sense. She makes her own decisions, fights for what she believes in, follows her heart and such, and never self-destructs in the process… all of which must sound idyllic to Zuko, who I’m sure has always wanted to be like that, too.

Maybe it sounds confusing for me to advocate for a couple while saying the characters ought to teach each other to be independent :’D but the way I see it, this is, if anything, a good thing: Zuko shouldn’t be in a co-dependent relationship, not unless he’s HIGHLY developed, far more than canon and most fics allow. Being with someone who doesn’t need him 24/7, who respects him and knows how to give him space, who wouldn’t be invasive and who would teach him not to be invasive too… through a relationship with someone like Suki, Zuko could genuinely learn to respect someone else’s independence fully, and figure out how to be like that, too.

As for the leadership, Suki has only led Kyoshi Warriors, a small group… so it may sound like something that can’t be compared to leading an entire country. But that’s REALLY part of my problem with Zuko… I’m sorry, but the point at the finale where everyone looked to him as though he’d lead them into finding Aang was absolutely absurd to me. The argument that he’s the one experienced at figuring out how to track down Aang DID make sense and salvaged the scene for me, but as far as leadership is concerned? Sokka by far outdoes him in that area, he literally led a goddamn military invasion and later in Sozin’s Comet he’s seen strategizing and leading Toph and Suki as he orchestrates the downfall ofthe worst of Ozai’s conquest/destruction force. I mean, seriously...

… Anyways, got sidetracked :’D the point is, Zuko hasn’t really been much of a leader in canon. Has he been in a position of command before? Yeah, he was in Book 1. But does this mean he’s a LEADER? A born leader? Yeah, we didn’t see remotely enough of him in a leadership position that could have convinced me of that.

Hence, Iroh theoretically should be a great influence for him in those regards, because Iroh not only was raised to be Fire Lord for well over 50 years, Iroh has been in positions of leadership before, he’s even apparently the leader of the White Lotus. Therefore… Iroh is a good idea. But what did canon do? They sent Iroh on a retirement plan to a teashop in Ba Sing Se and Zuko had to fend for himself! :’D fascinating, right?

While of course Sokka could be a great influence and help Zuko too, as far as leadership is concerned, canon chooses to keep him chasing after Aang and Katara without any aim or purpose… whereas it chooses to send Suki to Zuko as bodyguard and eventual confidante. Like I said, Suki does have experience as a leader, even if only on a small scale: couldn’t she be eligible for helping Zuko figure out how to lead the Fire Nation, through sharing some of the lessons she learned as leader of the Kyoshi Warriors? It even offers the possibility of Suki and Zuko learning side by side in some regards too, since this whole royal mess isn’t at all what Suki would be used to… so that allows interesting dynamics and complications to arise too, and they can both grow and learn a lot together.

Point and case being, I just can’t imagine these two ever getting into a fucked-up toxic romance, whereas I absolutely can see something of the sort with virtually every other Zuko ship I’ve known. Granted, the whole “But Sukka and Maiko are canon so they’d be cheaters!” side of things can lend towards an unhealthy situation, but I’d honestly rather not portray these two as cheating on their current love interests for each other…? Anyone who wants to is free to do as much, of course, but it’s barely necessary if you ask me :’D people can break up, and get together with other people, without needing a Days of Our Lives-sized drama along with it.

So, in short, I really think Suki is the healthiest possibility for Zuko. Pretty much every harmful thing I can think of in any other Zuko ship is ruled out with Suki. Even as friends Suki would be a great influence on Zuko for all the reasons I said above, but the reasons I mentioned above are also why I think that, if Zuko got to know Suki better, he might find himself smitten before he knows what’s going on: she basically embodies everything he ever wanted to be. He’d be full of admiration for her, and she’d probably be utterly clueless over why x’D and that even offers interesting romantic dynamics to the two characters. I can imagine Zuko being a bit of a tortured old-school romance hero who feels Suki is absolutely magnificent and wonderful and perfect… while she’s like “so is he ever going to pin me to a wall or is it all in my head?”, and frankly that’s about the best possible idea I can imagine in a relationship involving Zuko x’D

I do ship Zuko in a few other ships, I’ve mentioned before that I like Toph and Zuko, but I like Toph and Zuko as a temporary thing (and ONLY with a fully developed Zuko too, once they’re both around 20-30 too). It’s a cute enough ship, but I don’t really think it could last, and I don’t think they could offer each other nearly enough of what Suki and Zuko can offer each other. Hence, I’ve always envisioned Toph could be more of a casual love interest for Zuko (a big reason why is because I can’t imagine Toph consciously settling down with anyone…), and I’ve seldom written it into anything because I lean harder towards Zuki. Gladiator-wise, Toph and Zuko would have been AWFUL together, no matter if I had a few people asking if I could make them a thing :’D hahaha, nope. I like the ship plenty, but it would have been dreadful.

Anyways, yes, Zuki is highly convenient and compatible with Sokkla, but that’s far from the only reason to ship it. Canon may go in whichever direction it wishes, I’m pretty sure they won’t find anything better for Zuko than what they already toyed with in the comics with him and Suki.

Granted, a few of these arguments aren’t exactly suitable for Gladiator’s Zuki, but there are many other arguments to be made there (I actually leaned very heavily into the honor side of things when Zuko first saw her in the Arena, precisely because I think that particular side of Suki would be one of the first things to appeal to him about her). Either way, be it in canon-based settings or in my own particular AU, I’m pretty sure Zuko’s best match would be Suki.

#anon #zuki #I'm sure I've done analysis and meta about em before #but it was probably so long ago #that I can't even remember #aaaat any rate #yes I do ship it #yes it started because it resolved the obvious problem poised by Sokkla #yes they're great together #yes I think she's the best option for Zuko objectively speaking #... and if you want everything in detail #click the read more :'D

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