#I know not even my mom can keep track of everyone anymore

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

One of my younger cousins came out as trans which is like “okay, cool. Good for them” the problem is that until that point she was assumed to be a boy and has I believe two brothers. They all looked really similar and now that they are all older it’s even harder to tell who is who (aside from the girl sibling). Now, I’m already pretty face blind and only saw them about three or four times a year growing up, so, since her family isn’t using her deadname (and fuck yeah they better not!) I don’t actually know which sibling had their name changed. I couldn’t keep track of the names already and now I’m like “I don’t want to call one of them their sister’s deadname but it feels awkward to ask kids I knew since they were babies what their name is”

[missnxthingg]

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐋𝐃 - 𝑂𝑁𝐸

𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆 - Lando Norris x Single Mom!Reader (Best friends to lovers) 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘 - Lando and Y/N have always been the best of friends, always there for each other through thick and thin. After years of sharing the paddock and building their own silly little family, both of them just can't hold their feelings inside anymore, even though they're are both afraid it would ruin their friendship. So who'll take the first step? 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃𝐒 - 4.1 K | 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - None (so far) 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑'𝐒 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - All chapters come with a social media version. Click bellow and find more about this story!

smau version | series masterlist | main masterlist | taglist

“My hair is absolutely fine”, Lando complained. He had just woken up from his usual nap before the race and would’ve much rather have used the past five minutes sleeping then getting his hair fixed. Y/N ignored his whining and kept fixing his curls, making sure they fell perfectly into place. “Y/N, I'm literally putting on a helmet five minutes from now”.

“Shut up”, she furrowed her eyebrows and kept herself concentrated on his hair. “You’re gonna look perfect for the pictures before getting in the car with this hair”.

“Y/N L/N, full-time groomer, part-time comms girl”, he joked, making her open a small grin. It’s always nice to have small moments like those in the middle of all the mayhem that is the Formula 1 paddock, specially after so many years knowing each other. Lando and Y/N always found a way to make it even more fun by being there together.

“My job is to get the best image of you out there”, she dusted off his shoulders and winked at him. “Excited to be back?”

“Very”, he smiled at her. “Missed me over the winter?”

“Haven’t had the chance to miss you since you insist on us having a friendship outside work and keeps stopping by my house all the damn time”, she joked, pulling him to walk along with her. “Also, have you forgotten the headache you’ve given me on New Year’s Day?”

Lando went to Bali with his friends on the New Year’s and ended up partying a little too hard, which resulted in Y/N having to work all day as everyone else was enjoying their holiday. She had to stay at her hotel room all day in reunion with his PR team, trying to come up with solutions to his mess. When he found out, he even paid her dinner to apologize for the mess he made.

“I already said I was sorry”, Lando nudged her away with his elbow, making Y/N giggle. Then she toughened up and rolled his eyes at him. They soon were inside the McLaren garage, almost ready to start the first race of the year.

“You can apologize properly by doing great today”, she helped him close his suit, feeling his gaze burning on her face. Lando lowered his sight to pay attention to his friend, making her whole body tingle just with the looks.

“I'll try my best”, he shrugged. And Y/N knew that he was going to be good anyway, even if he didn’t really believe in himself. Lando had done great all weekend, so she knew he was also going to do great on track. She was known to have a sense of when her best friend was going to do good on the race, and today was one of those days. She just didn’t tell him.

It’s been like this since the very first moment they met. Lando and Y/N got to know each other when he was still in Formula 2, but already looking into enrolling in Formula 1 with McLaren. She had just got an internship at the team, working in communications, focused on their social media, and was starting to get into the motorsports world as she worked her way through a degree in college. Lando was also building his career, starting as a test driver and growing into a rookie. With both of them being new into this world, being friends made this entire experience less lonely.

“All good?”, she asked, opening a comforting smile at him to make sure Lando was cheerful enough to kick off the season. 

“Does my hair look good for the balaclava?”, he joked as he took his last pieces of fireproofs to wear. Y/N rolled her eyes and nudged him away. “Yes, curly king”, she giggled, earning a quick hug from the boy, who was now ready to get into the car. He sneaked a tiny kiss on her cheek and buried his nose on her neck. “Good luck, champ”.

“Thank you”, he winked at her, walking towards his engineers to have a quick chat before the race.

Y/N’s job was basically on hold for the rest of the race. She already knew the procedures of the media pen after the race, so all she had to do was wait and cheer for her team. It felt good to be back on track, and beginnings of seasons always give her a little bit more of power to do her job. And Bahrain was a solid start for McLaren, with both Lando and Oscar finishing above P6, getting good points for the team. 

“I knew you were going to do good”, Y/N commented when she saw Lando walking towards her; his suit already hanging low on his hips and with a tired smile on his face after he finished the countless post race interviews. He wrapped his arms softly around his friend as he stole her bottle of water. “Congratulations!”

“Thank you”, he held her a little tighter and immediately felt relaxed next to her. For years, Y/N has been the calm after the storm for Lando. “Tired?”

“Not really. Just a little bit”, she shrugged, as they walked back together to the McLaren motorhome, ready to get her things and walk away from the paddock.

“Want to grab something to eat before heading back to the hotel? I’m starving, and I really could use some time without talking to anyone but you”, he giggled, knowing his best friend knew how to respect his silence when he needed. Also, they had been working non-stop together for the past month, without a single time to just enjoy their time together. It would be nice to do absolute nothing next to each other.

“Oh, I’m heading back to London tonight. I have to be at the airport in… two hours”, she said, looking at her watch with a sad smile. “Little one needs me. She has a ballet presentation tomorrow, and I have to be there for her”.

“Of course”, Lando said, feeling the endearment on his chest with her words. “Ollie has the best mom in the world. She’s the luckiest little girl”.

Y/N got pregnant shortly after she started her second year in Formula 1, after being very careless with a college boyfriend, who took off the second he found out they were having a baby, only helping financially every month, but not being there to help her with anything. On the first years, when she was mostly required to be in England, it worked. But now that she grew on her job and was asked to travel the entire world, it was getting harder and harder to stay away from her daughter. So she always comes for the weekend and goes back home as soon as she can.

“You’re heading back to England tomorrow for the post-race debrief, right? You should come have dinner with us after the ballet presentation”, Y/N suggested.

“Am I banned from going to the ballet as well?”, Lando arched his brows, making Y/N's cheeks heat up.

“I mean, I thought it would be quite boring for you”, she shrugged, making Norris laugh.

“Are you joking? Olivia can never be boring. I always want to see her, especially on nice days like these”, he said. “I'll be there. And then I'll take you to her favourite restaurant”.

“She’s four, Lando. Her favourite restaurant is McDonald's”, Y/N rolled her eyes, but he shrugged.

“McDonald's it is!”, he giggled. “I'll see you tomorrow. Have a safe trip back home”.

“You too, Lan”, he pulled her for another quick hug and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head.

Lando has been there for Olivia since before she was born. After her boyfriend took off, Y/N was left pregnant, completely scared for her future. She didn’t know how to keep doing her job and her studies. Norris was the one who stuck by her side, did everything in his power to not get her fired, or not to quit her job, and pushed her to keep going with her education. He was there to take her to doctor's appointments whenever he could, and he was there to hold her hand when the time came. Lando was one of the first people who ever had the opportunity to hold Ollie in the arms. And for everything he did for both girls, he immediately became the little baby’s godfather. There was no one else in this world Y/N trusted more.

She has been more than special in his life as well. Y/N understood him better than anyone, and was his home away from home. She made him laugh, and she made sure that he felt comfortable, loved and happy all the time. And if things weren’t alright, having her support always made things better. So before she left, Lando took one last glance at his best friend and thought: “How lucky I am to have her in my life”. But he kept that thought to himself, trying hard not to think too much into it. Deep down, he knew there was something more on the way his heart raced every time he looked at her.

For the next day, Lando felt anxious to finally get home and be with his tiny second family. He hasn’t seen his goddaughter since the pre-season started and was looking forward to being in her presence again. It was his favourite way to relax after a full weekend, being with the people he loved the most in the world. So it felt good once the meeting at McLaren back in Woking was over, which meant that now he could go to the ballet presentation and be with his girls.

He arrived at least twenty minutes before the presentation started and found Y/N among the crowd, sitting right in the front, using her Instagram as a pastime to wait until Olivia was on stage. She updated her social media with a few shots from the weekend in Bahrain before she was pulled out of her thoughts by Lando, who found his spot next to his best friend.

“Hello”, he greeted with a beautiful smile on his face. Norris was wearing an all-black outfit, trying not to catch much attention to his presence, not wanting to deal with the public eye in such an intimate moment between family. “Am I late?”

“No, don’t worry”, she smiled softly at him. “Ollie will on go on stage in a few moments, so you’re fine”.

“Good. I’m glad to be here”, he elbowed his friend and got comfortable next to her. “How was your flight back home?”

“It was fine, a bit tiring. I got home just in time to have some breakfast and get Olivia ready to go to school. My mom drove her and I knocked out on the couch until lunch. Then I got her from school, we had lunch at a restaurant, and then I took her home to get our ballerina ready”.

“Cute”, his cheeks tinted in a pretty pink shade. “At least one of us had some proper sleep. I woke up at four, then flew here and went straight into MTC. I got changed there, had a nap, and now I’m here”.

“You should’ve gone home to rest, Lando…”, she started, but he cut her through her sentence.

“I told you I wanted to be here. I always want to be here for Ollie’s big days, you know that”, he assured, and Y/N knew he was telling the truth. After all, he has always been there for her daughter, coming to see her whenever he could, never forgetting to get her gifts on Christmas and birthdays, always calling to make sure his goddaughter knew how much she was loved by him. Lando cared about Olivia as if she was his own daughter.

“I know”, she smiled, searching for his hand in the darkness of the room to give it a squeeze. “You’ve always been here for her big days. But I worry about your health”.

“Oh, shut up”, he laughed. “I’ll be fine, don’t worry about me”.

Then Y/N noticed that Lando was holding flowers in his hands, and her heart immediately felt full at the sight. He definitely is a treasure in her daughter’s life. 

“You brought her a bouquet?”, she commented, making her friend blush with the comment. “Oh my God, that’s so cute!”

“Of course I did! She deserves it”, he smiled, pulling the bouquet to show it to Y/N. “Do you think she’ll like the daisies? I thought roses were too boring and Ollie is never boring”.

“Obviously. She loves everything you give her”, she giggled, finishing just before the music started and the presentation began. 

Y/N obviously cried to see her daughter dancing beautifully on stage, knowing she was on the right path to provide the best life for her little girl. But her heart actually melted to see Lando’s smile as he sat next to her, admiring Olivia’s movements with a hug smile on his face. 

“She’s really good”, he commented, not tearing his eyes away from the girl. “Look at her, wow!”

Y/N threw her arms around him and snuggled close to his body, hugging him from the side. She just couldn’t contain her happiness by him being there for her family. Lando only tore his eyes away from Ollie to look at his best friend for a second. He pressed a kiss to the crown of her head and rested a hand on her knee. That was his way to tell her that she was doing a good job.

After the presentation was over, the duo went backstage to pick Olivia to go out for dinner. The little girl was still dressed in her ballerina attire, now with a huge smile on her face as she ran excitedly towards them. But there was only one person she had her eyes for.

“Uncle Lando!”, she shouted, rushing her pace to him, who squatted to hug her. Norris waited for the impact and relaxed once he felt her tiny arms wrapped around his neck. “You came!”

“Of course I came! I wouldn’t miss the best ballerina in town doing her beautiful performance on stage”, he leaned back to look her in the face, the smile never faltering from his face. “You look so beautiful, wow. I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you”, Ollie giggled, her tiny hands landing on his cheeks, making his smile even wider. Then he pulled the bouquet in his hands and showed it to the girl, who sparkled her eyes at the sight of the flowers. 

“These are for you”, he said, and Ollie quickly wrapped her hands around the bouquet, pulling them closer to her face to smell it. She started jumping in excitement before pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Oh, that’s nice”.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!”, Olivia said. “I love you, uncle Lando”.

“I love you too, baby”, he declared before picking her up from the floor, walking towards Y/N, whose eyes were welled up with tears from watching the interaction between them. He whipped it off with one of his thumbs before pulling his best friend for a group hug.

“Why are you crying, mummy?”, Olivia asked, her cheeks pressed between Lando and Y/N’s body. 

“Oh, it’s because you look so beautiful. I’m so proud!”, she giggled. “These are happy tears, I promise”.

“I love you too, mummy. Just as much as I love uncle Lando”, the girl declared, making Lando’s heart warm up with the comment.

“I love you too, Ollie”, Y/N pressed a kiss to her daughter’s forehead. “Are you hungry, baby? Uncle Lando is taking us for dinner”.

“And you get to choose where”, he smirked, making Olivia even more excited with the proposition. 

“McDonald’s!”, she shouted, making Lando laugh. Then he looked at Y/N, who had that ‘I told you so’ look on her face. “I want a burger, nuggies, fries and ice cream. Oh, and the little toy”.

“Your wish is my command”.

Lando always bent over backwards to see Olivia smile. He bought everything she wished to eat, and she was stuffed with goodies that made her belly warm. Then she filled him in with everything that was going on in her life, making Y/N sit back, eat her burger, and admire the interaction between them. He had been helping her with food as he listened carefully to every single world she was saying. It was good to have someone else taking care of her, lifting the weight off her shoulders for a second. By the time they were done, Norris held both of his girls' hands and walked to his car, ready to go home with them.

Olivia fell asleep on the way home as they had a very quiet ride, only listening to some of Lando’s chill music. Then he helped carry her inside when they arrived, as Y/N opened the door and got her daughter’s bed ready for the night. She changed the little girl’s clothes and tucked her in bed, not forgetting her signature forehead kiss before leaving. Norris watched it from the door with a tender smile on his face. He pulled his friend by the elbow, engulfing her in a comforting, long hug. 

In the quietness of her house, everything felt perfectly into place. Lando rarely gets those moments alone with his best friend when they are rushing around the paddock. So whenever he sees the opportunity, he takes it. And they stood there, holding each other for a few minutes until he pulled Y/N out of the room. She takes care of both him and Olivia all the time. It’s only fair that he took care of her sometimes.

Norris sat her down on the couch and quickly picked a few items from her room, such as a soft blanket, along with some skincare to take off her makeup and make her relax. Then he sat next to her and patted his lap, just so she could lie down and rest. Lando softly ran wipes across her face, removing her make up before putting a relaxing face mask on her skin. Then he massaged her scalp as she sighed in comfort, enjoying every second of that treatment. He finished the skincare with moisturizer and a little kiss on her forehead, making her smile.

“I don’t deserve you”, she commented as Lando blushed. “Seriously, Ollie and I are so lucky to have you in our lives”.

“I’m just taking care of the people that I love”, he shrugged. “Do you want some tea?”

“I want some wine”, she giggled, making him tag along. “I think there’s a bottle in the fridge and the glasses are still in the same place”.

Lando shot up from his seat, but quickly came back with the bottle, an opener and two glasses. He wasn’t someone to drink much, but he would never refuse this bonding time with his best friend. Still, he poured just a little in his glass before toasting with Y/N.

“God, I’m so tired”, she vented. “I can't sleep when I'm away from Ollie”.

“I know”, he squeezed her knee and Y/N leaned her head into his shoulder. “It sucks having to be away all the time. But I promise you’re doing great in this parenting thing”.

“If you think so”, she shrugged. Most times, Y/N second-guesses herself, wondering if she was being a good mother by leaving her child every other week with their grandmother, only to travel to another country. But she knew that was the only way to provide Ollie with the best life she could have; after all, the salary is very good.

“I know it”, Lando assures. “Olivia is the sweetest kid of all time. She’s kind, funny, very talented and polite. And she absolutely loves you, because you are the best mother in the world”.

“Thanks, Lan”, she smiled at him. “I’m glad she has someone like you in her life. I’m glad to have someone like you in mine”.

“I’ll always be here for you and Ollie, you know that. I’ll take care of you both until the end of my days”, he promised, pulling his best friend for a quick kiss on the crown of her head. “And in the end, everything is worth it, right?”

“Olivia is always worth it”, she assured him, opening the biggest smile. “She’s everything to me. And it’s crazy how much someone can mean to you. But I guess motherhood is always like this”.

“I can’t wait to be a dad. I know I’m going to love it just as much as being a godfather”, he said. “You’re going to enjoy being a godmother someday too”.

“I will be the proudest auntie in the world! Your kid will love me because I’ll pamper them with all the love I can give”.

Deep down, Lando knew he didn’t want Y/N to be the godmother of his children. He has known for a while that he wanted her to be their mother; to be the one he raised a family with through the years. He was very happy whenever he was with her and Olivia, loving more than anything that little family he built with his best friend, so he wanted that to grow even more, maybe with some children of their own.

But confessing his feeling for Y/N tonight, or any night in the near future, wasn’t in Lando’s plans. He would rather just enjoy this little family without taking the risk of losing it for unrequited love. After all, if it didn’t work out, he loses both of the loves of his life.

“Are you staying the night?”, she broke the silence after a few minutes just listening to the sound of television, as they finished their wine together.

“Of course. Did you think I was going to pass the opportunity of cuddling with you?”, he frowned. “I was pissed when McLaren didn’t book us at the same hotel, so I could have an excuse to sneak into your room”.

“Well, you’re the famous driver, McLaren golden boy. I’m just the comms girl. Not all of us can stay at swanky hotels”.

“You deserve the swankiest of them”, Lando said, making Y/N flustered with his comment.. “Come on, you barely can keep your eyes opened. Let’s go to bed”.

He swiped her off her feet and carried her to the bedroom as she tried to laugh quietly to not wake Olivia up. Lando threw her in the mattress as he laughed along, but immediately went into ‘take care mode’ when they were inside those four walls. He chose a comfortable pyjama for Y/N and picked some of his clothes, which he conventionally left in her house for nights like these, then went into her bathroom so they could have some privacy to change.

After they were both dress, Lando hopped into bed too and quickly found his favourite spot: his head resting on her chest, with his arms engulfing her in the most comfortable hug. He felt the tiredness of the weekend crash his body, but he felt relaxed to be in his favourite girl’s arms.

“Does Ollie have school tomorrow?”, he asked, feeling Y/N nod, even with her eyes closed.

“She does, I have to be up very early tomorrow”, she groaned, already feeling too lazy to wake up early tomorrow. 

 “I can take her to school, don’t worry”, he said, wanting to take this weight off Y/N’s back. After all, he could very much take care of Olivia for her, as he had done countless times before. “And then after classes, we can all do something fun, like going to a park or something. Maybe I can take her to a toyshop and she can buy anything that she wants”.

“Don’t spoil my child too much. I don’t want her to grow as a spoiled kid. You’ll ruin her!”

“I will”, he giggled. “But Olivia deserves everything in the world and more”.

They fell quiet for a moment, and Lando was sure that Y/N had already fallen asleep. That until her fingers rolled in his curls, making him hum in satisfaction. He wanted that feeling for the rest of his life. He wanted to sleep next to her every night until the end of days.

And then came the three words he always adored hearing from her.

“I love you, Lan”, she mumbled. “Thank you for being the best friend one could ever wish for”.

Even after being friend zoned, Lando didn’t care about anything else, feeling his chest burning in adoration for his favourite girl. “I love you too, baby”, he whispered back, his words carrying more than he actually wanted to mean. 

⋘ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 ���𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 // 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ⋙

𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒍 𝒎𝒆𝒅𝒊𝒂 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏 . 𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎 𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 - @celestialams @kapsylia @igotnorrrizz @hiireadstuff @bishhhitsaurion @mrsmaybank13 @bborra @sltwins @riccdannyf1 @67-angelofthelordme-67 @ctrlyomomma @lan4cha16 @alltoomaples @ellen3101 @hellyesjaehyun @tastebaldwin @sweate-r-weathe-r @carmenita122 @m0cha-bunny @lqvesoph @itscrzy @fangirlvibez @poppyflower-22 @livelovesports @logischeroktopus @happy-jj @saturnbloom77 @formulaal @secretgal66 @taisferrari-blog @sunsshinesunny @eclipsedcherry @tems13 @readingbringsjoy @timmispeach @kenzeyeballs @alilcloudy @rchitect-2015 @tillyt04 @eringaitskill @Honeyhatty12 @dreamercrowd @demig0d0fapollo @mxmtewnz @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @beyond-the-ashes @ijustgomessitupx @floraav @laiba26mindflay3r @marialovesf1 @sltwins @lizaschronicles @katieschry1 @loveofmylife12 @diaa-20 @urfavsgf @likedbygaslyy @notturlover @c-losur3 @brizzy-xo @gorgrussell @ellasaddiction2 @morketheduck @kravitzwhore @darkacademicvibes @jenna123456789 @crispymcniall @arsyao @phantomxoxo @noobmaster6931 @ohlahlaa @c0rpsecore @rafegirly @darleneslane @annalisenelson @nataliambc @amorydsmt @slytherinholland @hstylesmermaid @harrysdimples05 @xxbaby-dollxx @neilakk @xxx-betty

[lunajay33]

Why Me?

•🤎🐺🪵🍂🌑•

Summary: Bella and Y/n are twins but when Bella and Renee moved away you stayed with Charlie always growing closer with the people around La push, but when Bella comes back it’s like everything is flipped around, Bella becomes distant obsessed with the cullens, you find solace with the guys at the beach but things change after the first year and suddenly you’re all alone, will anyone come back, will Paul your best friend, your forever crush come save you from depression

Pairing: Paul Lahote x f!reader

Warnings: Depression, Rosalie, suicidal thoughts

Part.2

•Masterlist•

It was a simple life in forks but I loved it this is where I’m meant to be, I can’t explain it but it calls to me, the rainy weather, the cool breeze, the calm beach at La push, even my group of friends made my life feel complete

Plus I had dad or as Bella called him, Charlie, after mom and Bella left when I was only 4 it was usually just the two of us, suppers out at the cafe or cozy nights at Jacob’s as they watched the game, I kept him a float after the devastating heart break even thought I was young, mom tried to take me with them the night everything happened but I held on to dad screaming for him to keep me, and here we are today just me and him it was perfect everything was exactly how it should be, then we got the call Bella was moving back I was nervous at first I haven’t seen her since she stopped visiting years ago

“I’ll be back later, be safe and if you go out leave a note okay sweetie?” Dad stated as he picked up the keys to his police cruiser

“Okay dad! Drive safe” we shared a hug before he left leaving me alone and anytime I was free I’d either walk through the forest behind my house or hang out at the beach with Paul or Jacob

I pulled on a coat and hiking boots heading to the over grown trees lining the backyard, the weather is not too cold but it’s still over cast, the trees are lined with a thick moss the ground littered with pine cones and varying animals tracks

Sometimes I’d find Paul trying to blow off steam out here so hopefully I’ll come across him today needing my best friend right now with all the stress I’ve been feeling about Bella’s return

After a bit more walking I heard groaning as I approached the cliff we sometimes would hang out on, I rounded a tree and saw Paul sitting there huffing and puffing, he’s always had anger issues growing up but I was always there for him and for some reason I was the only one to calm him down

Silently I sat next to him laying my head on his shoulder his arm instinctly wrapping around my waist quickly finding comfort in each others company

“Remember when we were nine and you were so angry that Jacob took my ice cream, you pushed him into a puddle and got me a new ice cream and I had to keep you calm away from Jake the rest of my party” I stated laughing remember how cute he was and that’s the day my crush on him started which grew over the years but I’d never tell him that, I can’t risk what I have with him

He sighed squeezing my hip his breathing calming down

“I couldn’t help it you were so excited all day for your ice cream and that look in your face when he took it mad me so mad, you know I hate seeing you upset”

“Don’t get soft on me Lahote” he huffed out a laugh

“What’s wrong Paul? Anything I can do to help?” I asked finally looking up at him

He looked hesitant his eyes looking anywhere but me, I drew my hand through his long beautiful black hair trying to ease his worries

“Just a lot lately, things with the older tribe members don’t worry about it, how about you Bella’s coming today you still nervous?”

“Yeah what if we’re not like how we were as kids, what if she doesn’t like me anymore I mean I know I can be a burden sometimes but I just want my sister”

“Hey what did I tell you about talking about yourself like that, she’s gonna love you and you’re not a burden why do you think the guys and everyone around you loves you?”

Sometimes when he’d get sweet talking like this it only made me love him more, feeling the blush spread across my cheeks I pushed his arm playfully trying to hide my feelings

“You’ll always be here for me right Paul, even when we both have stuff going on you’ll be here?” My hands fiddling together

“Always”

It’s been a week since Bella’s moved back and it’s been nice, we reconnected and talked before bed most nights just catching up on everything, and it was nice to have a friend at school now, I never really had friend at the forks school, I tried but no one ever bothered, plus all my friends down at La push is better than anyone here

Sitting at my usual lunch table by the windows I glance over seeing Bella with her whole new table of friends, she said she’d sit with me if it bothered me to be alone but I didn’t want to get in the way of her making new friends plus I saw how she’d rather be with them it was the perfect spot to look at the cullens, who she’d make goggly eyes at every lunch

But the day dragged on as usual but when that final bell rang I was free, I ran out the door heading straight to where Paul usually parked to pick me up but he wasn’t there which was strange he was never late

“Hey y/n do you need a ride?” Bella called from a few spots down waiting at her truck

“Oh ummm no I should be fine maybe he’s just running late” I waved her off just hoping he was okay

I sat on the stairs watching as the cars emptied the parking lot one by one till there was no one but me and the setting sun

I sighed realizing he wasn’t coming so I started walking home, once I got through the door I dialed Paul on the house phone my heart beating anxiously

The tones rang one after another but no answer so I called Jacob instead and of course he answered immediately

“Hello Black residence” his chipper voice always made me smile he was such a sweet guy

“Hi Jake it’s y/n Paul didn’t pick me up today and I was wondering do you know if he’s okay?”

“Oh no I haven’t heard…..” I heard a mumbled voice behind him then the voice changed

“Who is this?” And I recognized that voice it was Sam Uley

“Hey Sam it’s me y/n swan! Ummm sorry if I interrupted something I was just calling worried about Paul, have you seen him around?”

“Oh he’s gonna be under the weather for a while he’s caught a stomach bug, we don’t wanna risk you getting sick too”

“Can I visit just to drop off soup or something?” My heart ached knowing what he’d say

“I’m sorry honey not yet, it’ll be awhile just give him time”

“But……but he’s my best friend” my voice wavered haven’t never being apart from him for a long period of time there was this pull to him I always felt so being apart felt…….wrong

“Just give it time honey, I’ve gotta go, goodnight” and with that he hung up the phone felt heavy in my hand

I’ve seen Paul every day since he got his licence, he’s a year older so when he got it he promised to pick me up everyday to make sure I was safe, Bella can drive me now but it’s not the same after a long day I’d get in his truck and cuddle up to his side and drive down to the beach and relax

“Sweetie why are you crying?” Dad broke me out of my thoughts as he hung up the phone

“Oh it’s nothing just….pauls sick I’m just worried”

“That kid is strong he’ll be just fine” he smiled patting my shoulder before he got a soda from the fridge

The days dragged on and I thought he’d atleast pick up the phone when I called or even call me but nothing, not a word and now a month has gone by I thought I’d have Bella but she quickly became all involved with Edward Cullen, the older member of the tribe weren’t quite fond of their family they told me stories but I thought it was all just legends never thinking too much about them

So now without Bella and Paul I was alone, my world felt flipped upside down, everything use tk be perfect but now I felt ripped of who I was, I fell hollow, drained, the all crushing depression, I can’t sleep evident by the dark circles under my eyes, I can barely eat shown by the hollows covering my body and the clothes that hung on my body, I felt like I’m dying, I’m fading

I’ve never been through a break up but this can’t be how it feels this has to be something different, something more painful

School was like hell, even worse than before, Bella convinced me some days to sit with her and the cullens and Alice was always trying to cheer me up but nothing was ever permanent

I picked at my rice as Emmett bragged about how he beat Edward in a baseball game

“Still not feeling well?” Jasper asked next to me, the first time I’ve ever heard him speak

“I think somethings wrong with me, I think I’m dying” everyone stopped what they were talking about and eyes were on me but I didn’t care anymore

“Why would you say that y/n?” Alice spoke

I sighed excusing myself from the table walking away, they couldn’t understand but maybe the elders could, I called dad and he said he’d be at the school to pick me up seeing as work was going slow

A few minutes later the cruiser pulled up and I got in the front seat

“Sick again?” He asked worry written all over his face

I’ve been calling him to pick me up from school a lot, either from spells of nausea throwing up or just the overwhelming depression

“Can you take me to Emily’s?” She was like a aunt to me always so sweet and that’s what I needed right now

“Of course sweetie” the drive was silent until we pulled into the gravel drive way seeing Sam and Emily step out

“Try and relax okay, I’ll pick you up whenever you’d like just call” I managed a smile and got out seeing him drive away

I walked up the porch steps straight into Emily’s arms

“Oh honey what’s happened we haven’t seen you in so long” she said stepping back taking in my clearly broken and sick appearance, the baggy brown hoodie that use to fit relative tight and some ratty sweat pants, my hair pulled into two messy braids

“Somethings wrong Emily, I didn’t know who else to ask” finally letting the tears stream down my face, she squeezed my hands giving Sam a desperate look as she led me inside

I sat on the couch as she dropped a fluffy blanket over my legs telling Sam to make me a hot chocolate

“What’re you feeling hun? How did all this start” her voice always soothed me

“I can’t eat or sleep, I can’t feel it’s like I’m hollow inside and it hurts, not just emotionally I physically get sick all the time, dad brought me to the doctors and they say nothing is medically wrong” Sam placed the drink on the table infront of me and sat next to Emily on the couch across from me

“When did this all start?” He asked

“The day Paul left me, I know it sounds crazy but…….its likes a piece of me died when he stopped coming around” they looked at eachother with knowing looks

“You’re not crazy”

“Then what? Do you know what’s wrong with me?” I ask almost pleading

“I might, how about you and Emily catch up and rest, I’ll be back soon” and with that he left leaving me confused

The sun started setting and I didn’t want to bother Emily more that needed

“I think I���m gonna head home, thanks for having me today” I said pulling on my coat at the door

“Do you want me to call Charlie it’s a long walk hun”

“Oh no I’m…..I need some air I’ll be fine”

“Okay but be safe and call me when you get home so I know everything okay?”

“Okay Em” I faked a smile and left feeling the cool breeze hit me, but I lied theres no going home this time, I’m going to where I last had him, the cliffs

The walk was long and cold but when I finally made it the moon was shining bright over head, dropping to my knees I cried and cried until there was no more tears left

What was the point anymore he’s never coming back so this pain will never go away I feel like I’m fading away anyways

Standing up I neared the cliff edge the sea breeze blowing up from far below

“Maybe in another life I’ll find you Paul” then a quick breeze whooshed past my body opening my eyes I wasn’t at the cliff anymore but in the deep forest

Emmett Cullen right infront of me, confused and upset I step away crossing my arms over my chest

“Emmett why would you stop me, what’re you even doing here” I sigh wanting to just scream

“What the hell were you thinking, why would you try to kill yourself what about Bella what about Charlie?”

“It hurts so much Emmett can you just make it go away, I wanna be okay again”

“This isn’t suppose to happen to you, you’re suppose to be Bella’s sweet shy sister” he sighs pulling me into a tight cold hug, nothing like how it felt with Paul

“Not anymore Em”

“Do you wanna come over I can make you anything you want and I can make a cozy spot for you infront of the fire place”

“Oh I couldn’t impose like that”

“If Bella’s family now so are you” before I could agree a growl rumbled through the trees

Turning a grey wolf the size of a mini van emerged from the trees its eyes piercing at Emmett

“Emmett what do we do?” I ask scared gripping his arm

“Calm down you’ll be okay just trust me okay”

“O…okay” and the next second he was gone in the blink of an eye

He left me, I turn back to the wolf that no longer growled but was whining, getting closer it laid down infront of me nudging my leg with its snout, suddenly the fear dissapeared

I lean down and cautiously rubbed my hand through its soft fur hearing it grumble, sitting in front of it it moved forward laying its head across my lap completely covering it

“You’re quite beautiful, like a gentle giant” rubbing its fur helped sooth me bringing me back to reality of what I almost did tonight

“I can’t believe I almost ended it all tonight, he’ll come back to me soon right? I’ll be happy again someday won’t I?”

I licked at my hand whining

“He promised he wouldn’t leave me, he always said he’d protect me and he always made me happy I don’t know what to do without him”

The wolf got up motioning to get on it back and for some reason I didn’t think twice about it, hopping on I held onto its next as it made its way down the path back the way I came

Right back to Emily’s house

More parts coming soon!!

Taglist: @lilredcamaro14 @cvmtitss @larissa01-blog2

[larluce]

HOW I IMAGINE ARTHUR GAVE MERLIN HIS PURPLE SHIRT

Merlin enters Arthur's room while Arthur is looking at some papers on his desk.

Merlin: Did you call me, sir?

Arthur: (absentmindedly) Oh yeah, you see that shirt on my bed?

Merlin heads to the bed and picks the shirt.

Merlin: Yeah, it's very nice. You don't usually wear this color. Do you need me to dress you, my lord?

Arthur: No, I want you to drow it.

Merlin: What?!

Arthur: It's old, it's no use to me.

Merlin: It doesn't look old, it's in perfect condition.

Arthur: Yeah, but it doesn't fit me anymore, get rid of it.

Merlin: (angry) Are you going to drow a perfectly useful item of clothing just because it no longer fits? Do you know how many children out there barely have anything to cover themselves with?―

Arthur: Merlin―

Merlin: Most peasants only have two changes of clothes. I've only had two shirts in my entire life! When one didn't fit anymore, my mother turned it into a new nekerchief for me, because we do know the value of things, but of course, here, his royal pratiness who has towers and towers of clothes, doesn't care―

Arthur: Merlin―

Merlin: You could at least give it to someone who needs it! I can't believe you're so―

Arthur: (irritated) If it bothers you so much, why don't you keep it?!

Merlin: (shocked) ...What?

Arthur: You said you only have two shirts, right? It wouldn't hurt if you had one more for a change. It's boring to always see you in the same clothes.

Merlin: I...

Arthur: And seriously with how I pay you, despite your ineptitude, I'm surprised you still only have two changes.

Merlin: I'd rather send the money to my mom. She needs it more. Here I already have everything I need.

Arthur: ...

Arthur: Anyway, if you're not going to keep it, drow it away, it's your decision.

Merlin takes the shirt and brings it to his chest. A pleasant sensation growing there, as did the heat on his cheeks.

Merlin: Thank you, Arthur.

Arthur: (smiling slightly) You're welcome

Merlin: (very happy) ¡It's the best birthday present I've ever been given!

Arthur stops what he's doing and stands abruptly from his seat.

Arthur: (shouts, surprised) It's your birthday?!

Merlin: (nods) More or less. I don't know the exact day but my mom says I was born at the end of October.

Arthur: I thought peasants didn't have birthdays.

Merlin: Yes, normally cause most don't know how to count, much less keep track of the days of the month, they tend to be guided more by seasons than anything. But my mom does know how to count, so... We never celebrate it, anyway. Throwing a party for the day of your birth is a luxury only nobles can afford, you know?, but she always prepared my favorite food for me on my birthday. (Smiles at the memory)

Arthur: Why didn't you tell me?

Merlin: (shrugs) You never asked. Nobody really. Everyone assumed like you that I didn't even know when I was born. Only Gaius asked me once and since then he always brings me dessert from the cook if there is any left over those days. Today they made plum cake! (Very happy) I hope there is some left, it's my favorite. (plays with the fabric of his new shirt)

Arthur: ...

Arthur: (composing himself and smiling) Well, Happy birthday then.

Merlin thanks him once again and leaves the room still with the huge smile plastered on his face.

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow Part 26

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 23, part 24, part 25

Wayne walks into the hospital, the information that he’s been given still running a marathon he can’t finish. Too caught up stumbling in all the unbelievable hurdles. Struggling to keep his footing on ground he thought was solid. But it’s cracking underneath his feet.

All these kids, all this time, went through that. Something that the authorities should have dealt with, but left up to children and regular civilians. Causing people to die and get hurt. Be left with trauma the regular public will never understand, and might not even believe.

Wayne doesn’t even know if he believes it. Even though he knows it’s true. It’s just his brain trying to find the fault in the truth to market it as a lie. So he can be mad a something a little more real. More feasible.

“Hey, Wayne,” Dustin calls out to him, causing him to stop in his tracks. “Did Steve talk to you, he said he needed to. I don’t know what about though.”

“Nothing you don’t already know,” he says simply. Each work breaking a small line in his heart.

Dustin rolls his eyes. “So you won’t tell me either, great.”

“Woah, I was tellin’ you the truth. No need to give me that tone.” Wayne might be slightly out of practice, but that parent voice came back real fast.

“Sorry,” Dustin mutters under his breath, crossing his arms. “I’m just sick of people hiding things from me. I’m not a kid anymore.”

But he is.

“But you are.”

He groans. “Sure fine, I’m still technically a kid. But I’m older now, I understand things more. That has to count for something.”

“Sure it does. Doesn’t mean you’re going to part of every conversation though. There are some things that you don’t need to be a part of. Things you don’t need to worry about.”

“People always say that, but I don’t believe them. First they say it’s nothing to worry about, and they they’re almost dying. I’m tired of that.”

And there lies the real reason for this frustration. The need to be involved so he knows exactly what the problem is. So he can try to get ahead of it. Stop it before it becomes catastrophic.

This kid has already had some much of his life change before his eyes. Without question, straying from the established plan. There’s no planning for life, but especially not the way Dustin’s had to live it. The way any of these kids had to live it. Or the adults.

Wayne sees the pain that imbedded itself into all of their beings. The way their eyes dart around, trying to see the unseen. And their bodies to predict the unpredictable. Pulled taught with string, ready for the next fight. For the next big thing.

If he could give anything to help them get one moment’s peace, he would give it. No one deserves to live like this.

“Look,” Wayne places a hand on Dustin’s shoulder. “I don’t have all the answers for you, and I’m not sure what specifically you’re talking about. But I do know that these people care about you, and know that you care about them. There are always going to be things left unsaid, and things kept from you. And you’re not going to get anything if you come from a place of anger instead of compassion. Explain why you want to know, then maybe they’ll tell you.”

Dustin nods, taking a moment to think. Wayne watches as he processes where to go next. Sees the fragility that lies beneath his frustration.

“Do you think they would really tell me?” he finally asks, so unsure of it all.

“They might. And if they don’t, they might give you a better answer than telling you it’s none of your business. That means they listened to you.”

It’s what everyone wants at the end of the day. To be heard.

“That’s at least something, isn’t it?” Wayne finishes, looking Dustin in the eyes. Showing him that he listened. That Dustin was heard.

Dustin nods. Still not looking completely satisfied, but better. “I guess so.”

Wayne gives Dustin’s shoulder a clap before letting go. “You off to see Eddie?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “I just came from there, my mom wants me home for dinner.”

“You have a ride?”

Dustin nods his head.

“Alright. Tell your mom thanks for me, for the dinner. It was very nice of her.”

“I won’t tell her that bit. Unless you want an entire casserole on your doorstep tomorrow.”

Wayne chuckles on his way to Eddie’s room. A real laugh. It’s starting to feel less foreign now.

Eddie’s playing with a stress ball when Wayne enters. Or less so playing and more like squeezing. Mumbling something under his breath before letting go.

“Hey Wayne,” he says. Concentration still on the ball.

“What do you got there?”

Eddie groans, head dramatically hitting the pillow. “Some stupid exercise the new nurse gave me to do. Something about starting to get back ‘motor functions.’ I’m supposed to count how long I can squeeze it.”

“What’s your record?”

“Ten seconds. Trying to get it to fifteen.”

He squeezes the stress ball again, fine for the first few seconds, but starting to shake around the halfway mark. Fingers twitching as they start to release the grip. Eddie’s face scrunching, trying to get them to stay just a bit longer.

“Ha, eleven.” He releases his fist, the momentum of the ball causing it to roll out of his hand. “Take that.”

The ball rolls off the bed toward Wayne’s direction. He picks it up, taking a second to give it back to Eddie. Wondering if it’s right to bring up that he knows.

“You just missed the guys, by the way,” Eddie starts before Wayne gets the chance to. “Finally got off their asses to come see me.”

“They came by a few times while you were in the coma.”

Eddie rolls his eyes, like that doesn’t matter. But really Wayne knows he’s just annoyed. These kids were his friends before spring break. He thought they were going to be after too.

“Yeah, but not while I was awake. It’s one thing to come and see me when I’m asleep, it’s a different thing to come and see me when I’m awake.”

“That’s true. Did you ask them why it took them so long? Maybe they had a good reason”

Eddie groans. “You can’t go a few weeks without trying to give me a life lesson, can you.”

Wayne laughs again. Sits with how the air sits in his lungs so light. Makes his whole body so much lighter.

He doesn’t need to talk about what happened with Eddie right now. Not yet. Not when Eddie’s trying to figure out how to live again. Not while he’s still trying to get them a place to call home.

Everything will come out when it’s time. He knows that. Right now, they can forget for a while and just be.

next part

tag list (capping at 100, only 5 spots left): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

@fandomsanddeath, @marismorar, @wonderland-girl143-blog, @glass-bottle03, @gutterflower77,

@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

@devondespresso, @swimmingbirdrunningrock, @cheertain, @anti-ozzie, @autumncrocusandladybug,

@greeniebean911, @cr0w-culture, @stillfullofshit, @connected-dots, @daisynotquake,

@morgannotlefay, @a-little-unsteddie, @dolphincliffs, @maskofmirrors, @me-and-my-sloth,

@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[marlynnofmany]

Kittens in Space

The first rule of keeping cats aboard a spaceship is don’t lose the cats on the spaceship. I know this. I know it better than the rest of the crew! I’m the Earthling here, the animal expert with actual veterinarian training, and I’m the one who brought them onboard. I told the captain with confidence that I could keep track of them.

Well, guess what I just did.

The problem was immediately obvious when I woke up. Every morning for the last few days had started with cutesy kitten pounces and thumps as they batted toys about the room. Sometimes I’d get a tail in my face; other times I’d hear a crash as they discovered how to reach another yet high shelf. Not once had I woken to silence.

Today I did. And as soon as I realized it, I sat up with a jerk to scan the room, my heartbeat loud in my ears.

Catnip mice and foam balls were everywhere. My shoes were still on the coat hooks; they hadn’t managed to knock them down yet. Nothing was swatted off the shelves. And no kittens lay on the floor dead after eating alien food, so at least there was that. But where were they?

I moved my feet toward the floor, disturbing a lump that meowed sleepily. Tapestry the mom cat was curled up on my bed; I hadn’t seen her. And now that I wasn’t jostling the blankets anymore, she curled back up for some hard-earned rest.

But no kittens. I stroked her tabby fur and looked for smaller balls of fluff, but found none. She didn’t seem worried. Hopefully that was a good sign. I stood and hurried to the bathroom.

My quarters were small, basically just the two rooms, since I spent most of my time with the rest of the crew. There really shouldn’t have been any good hiding spots that I hadn’t already blocked off. The bed didn’t even have space underneath it; that’s where my clothes drawers were. And I’d made sure the little fluffbrains couldn’t open those on their own, much less close them again.

They weren’t in the bathroom. Not in the closed-lid toilet, or the space-age shower stall, or the cabinet of supplies. Not in the trash can (again). They hadn’t gotten closed up in the foldable sink; I always left it sticking out of the wall. Where were they?

They couldn’t have gotten out into the hallway. No. Just not possible. I would have heard if someone inexplicably opened the door to my quarters without knocking, not that anyone would. Especially while I was asleep.

I told myself that there was no way they could be wandering the ship and getting stuck in the engine room. Mimi would notice animals hiding among his engine parts. Heck, the entire ship was bound to have someone around, ready to spot the furry little troublemakers, no matter how stealthy they were. I was pretty sure they resembled food on at least one homeworld. My crewmates weren’t the sort to hurt them, though; everyone knew full well that I had them here. The kittens wouldn’t be mistaken for pests.

Hopefully.

I really don’t want to announce to everyone that I’ve lost them, I thought, leaving the bathroom. They’ve got to be in here somewhere. What am I missing?

I surveyed the toy-covered room, trying for the umpteenth time to see catproofing opportunities that I hadn’t addressed.

Bed, bookshelf, other shelves. Bedside table with the lamp bolted down. Desk and chair. The litterbox was in the bathroom, with the food and water dishes along the wall beside me. There were no curtains to climb, and hardly any decorations, just the digital window with its chunky gold frame — someone’s secondhand idea of class — and the fake plants on the shelves. The bite marks on those weren’t new.

But the positioning was.  

I stepped closer, staring and second-guessing, and yes they were definitely pushed out of place. And now that I thought about it, the digital frame was slightly crooked too. That spectacular alien sunset with the planetary rings in the background was out of alignment with the corner of the room.

Like someone stepped on it. Now where would they—

I froze in place, feeling stupid. Ah. Right.

Ever look at something so often that you stop noticing it? I may have mentioned that this was a spaceship. Metal walls, plasticky floors, no real windows.

A ceiling covered in twisty pipes.

I hadn’t considered catproofing the ceiling; it was too high to reach (ha), and surely not the kind of place that kittens would hide.

But as I stepped onto the bed and brought my face up close to the lowest curve, I realized that the faint engine sounds I’d long gotten used to sounded an awful lot like purring.

There they were. All five of the fuzzy little bastards were snuggled into a happy pile among the pipes without a care in the world. They meeped sleepily when I stuck a hand in.

“I can’t believe you,” I murmured. They ignored me.

The air was warm but not hot, and the pipes were vibrating faintly. While Captain Sunlight had assured me that there was no radiation to worry about, I figured it couldn’t hurt to double-check. Sleeping on top of the things could easily be a different prospect from sleeping in a bed below.

“All right, down for now,” I told them, scooping up the kittens despite their protests and setting them on the bed. “Be good little fluffbrains and sleep here while I — no? No, of course not.” They were already tumbling to the floor with strident mews for food. Tapestry stretched and jumped down as well.

I sighed and got out the cat food. If I was quick about it, I could get out the door before they tried to follow me. That net I’d tried to rig up as a baby gate hadn’t stopped them crawling under.

“Good kitties,” I said, tugging my shoes on as they ate. “You behave yourselves. I’m just going to make sure your favorite new hiding place isn’t going to give you extra eyeballs or something. Maybe I’ll set up a new shelf there so you don’t fall on my face during the night.”

I slipped out the door just as the first kitten finished eating — appropriately enough, it was the gray shorthair who Mimi had insisted I name after him. There weren’t any green cats in the litter, so gray was close enough.

“Meeeeee,” declared Mimi-the-kitten as the door closed.

“Yup,” I agreed.

Once I was sure the latch wasn’t about to pop loose, I took long strides toward the engine room. My heartbeat was totally calm and normal; why do you ask?

~~~

The ongoing backstory of the main character from this book. More to come!

[jewish-vents]

I can't with this anymore uhhhhhhggggg

"AITAH for creating a private doc to keep notes on what my racist teacher said"

I have this teacher who said a lot of shit (eg. "Ashkenazi people were Europeans forcefully converted by invading Jews", "the Torah mentions Jesus and Mohammed", "Judaism started in Ethiopia because it's the oldest religion and therefore must come from where all people do", "getting angry at Houthis for attacking Israel is like getting angry at a l*nched man for struggling on the noose", etc.). No one cared that she said these things besides a boy she kept deadnaming, a girl who she used as an example talking about slave r*pe, and a kid who she humiliated in front of the class a few times.

When I reported this shit to the dean he was concerned as fuck and 100000% on my side because he's really cool. And to report the stuff, I'd been using a private google doc to keep track of what she'd said. The principal though was overly optimistic and decided instead of talking to the teacher in private, she would hold a class discussion! Yaaaaaaayyyyyyy. I was less than pleased by this, and at the discussion most people took her side. I eventually decided to share the doc with the other three kids so I could get better firsthand accounts.

But then the doc started spreading.

One of the other kids shared it with this boy who she used to mock and throw under the bus, and he shared it with his friend. Who shared it with another friend. Things went like whisper-down-the-lane until someone, I don't know WHO, got a hold of it and shared it to the whole. Fucking. Class. Including the teacher. People started claiming the doc was Islamophobic and didn't elaborate why, and saying we were only "attacking" the teacher because she was Muslim. Or that we only reported this stuff to get drama and attention. The principal herself even said that this was happening because we have varying cultures, which is BS because I have plenty of Muslim friends who have never said ANY of the shit this lady has. That is waaaayyyy more Islamophobic of a statement and I felt offended on my friends' behalf with that one.

I feel bad for the teacher for seeing that doc, but then again, I myself am suffering because someone leaked all my personal opinions to the class. I'm a super conflict avoidant person because I have severe ADHD and OCD and mild autism (ASD1, to be specific), and I hate being involved. I want to sympathize for her. I really do. But when asked to apologize for what she said, she started defending herself and saying we were all closed-minded for not thinking what we previously thought was wrong. My mom wants to take me out of the class to do an independent study project so I can pass the required course without being in that classroom. Because nothing gets in the way of Jewish parents. Especially during Passover.

My classmates are saying she's a sweet lady and it was wrong of us to get upset at her, so are we the bad guys and/or am I overreacting to this scenario.

Anon I'm going to be very honest here. You are absolutely NTA here. And you're not overreacting at all. Your teacher is being very offensive, not to mention historically wrong.

And the doc? If she didn't want to have her offensive opinions called out in front of everyone, maybe she should stop being offensive.

I'm going to say, personally if she were my teacher the doc would be the least of her problems. She would not like me very much.

I hope you're safe tho, you and the other students she's hurt. You don't deserve to be treated like this

-🐺

[freakshowtwopointoh]

Marie ducks out of the gala, praying that no one will try to stop her. She can feel Cate's eyes on her, Emma's eyes, Jordan's eyes.

Did they tell the others about their past? Did they even care? The way they treated her in Brink's office, it was like they had no memory of her. Then the club, Luke, outside the crimefighting building, the interview... a collection of charged and confusing conversations. Never a confirmation that they even remembered her, but there was so much emotion in everything they said to her.

Maybe they thought she didn't remember...

But she remembers. She remembers everything. The games they'd play, the secrets they'd shared, the late-night playstation tournaments...

Her first crush, her first kiss. Of course she hadn't forgotten, how could she.

But she moved away. And then her life became a horror movie. And even if she'd been allowed to contact anyone, what do you say to your best friend after you've done the unimaginable?

So when she walked in and saw them at the desk for Brink's office, what was she supposed to say?

"Remember me, I'm the weird kid you were friends with until she moved away and vanished, who kissed you in her sister's princess tent in the backyard? Also, I found out I'm a supe and my schedule's fucked."

Yeah, no. That doesn't really work. So she played a bit dumb. But now... she sees Jordan leaning up against the side of the building, watching her.

She sucked in a breath through her teeth.

"I'm not in the mood, Jordan. You can attack me in the morning." She rolled her eyes, and attempted to walk away.

"I'm surprised you can walk straight, with everyone's tongue lodged up your ass."

"You don't know shit about me anymore, Li, so shut the fuck up." And she tried to keep walking away.

"So you do remember me." God fucking dammit. "And I do know you, and I know your type. Brown-noser. One-upper. Mommy and Daddy's perfect little hero." The words stopped her in her tracks. She spun on her heel.

"Yeah, well that's definitely not me. Because my parents are dead. Because I killed them." The words fell from her lips before she could stop them.

"Bullshit." They say, but they don't sound like they mean it.

"That answers a whole lot of your questions, now doesn't it?" She snapped. "Questions that I could've fucking answered, if you'd ever bothered to ask. It was just a few months after I moved. I... I had my first period, my mom came in and.... and the blood sliced right through her neck. Dad came in, same deal. Annab-" Her voice broke. She took a deep breath. "After that, I was sent to a facility called Red River. I didn't really have the option to email or anything for.... awhile. Happy now?" She was ready to storm off, but Jordan placed something cold in her hand. A flask.

"I always thought you just... forgot about me. And when I saw your name in the pile of incoming students, it wasn't hard to invent all sorts of reasons why you'd lie to me. And then... well..."

"Shit got complicated real fast." She said simply, after swallowing a gulp of the lukewarm rum in their flask. "I.... wasn't sure what to say when I saw you in the office that first day."

"You're telling me! I'd spent like 5 years being pissed at you and missing you at the same time, then all of a sudden you waltz into my office, demanding I un-reject you from his class, and at that point, I still didn't even know what your powers were." They laugh.

Marie looked at them, taking in their straight bob, their big brown eyes, their chiming laugh. God, she'd missed them so much. She'd missed her best friend more than she even understood until this very moment. They missed out on so much - so many late night chats and lazy weekends and... her eyes flicked to their lips. And before she's even registered what she's doing, her hand is on Jordan's cheek and she's pulling them in, and kissing them. Pouring years of pining, missing, loving, hating, everything, into this kiss under the moonlight.

When they pull away, there's a look she can't read in their eyes.

"I'm not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn't that." They said. And then their hands are on her hips and they're kissing again and everything is magical and beautiful and perfect and there are no words needed. And then someone coughs behind them.

"Uh, guys? I fucked up." Andre and Cate are standing there awkwardly.

~ au idea by @mariejordans

[trashywritestrash]

I’m Here

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader, ex!Jason Carver x ex!Reader

Word Count: let me get back to you on that

Warnings: written terribly, kinda angst, reader is dealing with a rough break up, jason carver, jason calls reader a mean word, eddie is desperately in love (or just desperate), swearing, one vaguely dirty joke.

A/N: This is my entry for @wndalovebot ‘s Words Written By the Sea challenge! I used the prompts “You need someone right now. And I’m the one that’s here. Let me be what you need.” and “You don’t have to talk about it, just let me make the pain go away.”

gif by attanos

People always talk about high school romance; about “young love”. There are hundreds of movies where teenagers find their first love, go to prom, and live happily ever after.

No one warns you that dating in high school can be a bitch.

Because now, after your messy break up with Jason Carver, you still have to see him every day. You still have to see him in the halls and at lunch. You still have to sit next to him in some of your classes. You still have to hear his friends talk shit about you.

Before you started dating Jason, you were close with the Hellfire Club; especially Eddie Munson. You didn’t play Dungeons & Dragons, but you were the unofficial co-dungeon master. You’d come up with some ideas for plots and NPCs while Eddie would handle the mechanics of it all. But after a month of dating Jason, he got controlling. It started with you missing Hellfire meetings to sit in on basketball practice or games. After that, he wanted you to sit with the team during lunch instead. Then Jason didn’t want you going to Eddie’s trailer. And then he didn’t want you talking to any of them at all.

You thought you were being sneaky by calling Eddie still. Jason stopped you from talking to him at school, but he couldn’t keep track of who you were calling. It was a good plan. Until it wasn’t.

All it took was one night. One night where Jason stayed over a little later than usual. The phone rang from downstairs, so your mom answered it. A moment later she shouted, “Y/N! It’s Eddie!” Jason got mad, you got mad, and you broke up.

The next day, you approached the Hellfire table at lunch. They gave you looks of confusion, shock, and even a little betrayal. But Eddie just gave you a sympathetic smile and pulled you over to the seat next to him. “Welcome back.” You described the situation to the others in as little detail as possible and they quickly accepted you back into the group. While everyone was busy talking about the campaign, Eddie leaned over to whisper, “Do you wanna come over tonight? We can watch a movie like old times.”

You nodded, glad that he wasn’t mad at you for being away for so long. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

—————

That night, as you got ready to go to Eddie’s, the phone rang. This time you were able to answer it. “Hello?”

“Hey, Y/N.” You knew that voice. Why the fuck was Jason calling you?

“What do you want?”

“A little birdie told me you’re hanging out with the freak tonight. I thought you knew better.”

You rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see it. “So what, Jason? I’m not your girlfriend anymore, you don’t get to tell me who I can and can’t hang out with.”

“I know that. I’m just disappointed. We broke up less than a week ago and you’re already desperate for attention. And from Eddie Munson? You can’t have me anymore, so you’re gonna whore yourself out to him now? Is that what this is?” The most baffling part was his tone. Jason sounded like he genuinely believed the words he was saying; like he was just trying to look out for you.

Instead of snapping or making some kind of comeback, you just hung up. The phone rang again. And again. And again. You didn’t answer. You told your parents that you were going to Eddie’s and that if Jason called they should hang up. Luckily, they didn’t ask any questions.

By the time you got to Eddie’s trailer, your anger had worn off. In it’s place was guilt, shame, and embarrassment. You didn’t feel guilty for hanging out with Eddie; quite the opposite. You felt bad for pushing him and the club aside for Jason. When you knocked on the door, you tried to push it all down. You didn’t want to ruin your first time hanging out with Eddie again after three months.

The door opened, revealing Wayne dressed in his work uniform, “Do my eyes deceive me or is that Y/N Y/L/N?” His grin and light chuckle took a bit of the weight off of your shoulders. “You know you don’t have to knock.”

“I know but it’s been a while. I didn’t wanna overstep.”

Wayne simply waved his hand dismissively, “Nonsense. You’re here now, that’s what matters. I’m glad I caught you on my way out. I missed ya, kid.”

Somehow that made you feel better and worse at the same time. “I missed you too, Wayne. Drive safe.” With a smile and a wave goodbye, Wayne got in his truck and went to work.

You sat on the couch, happy to be back in the familiar environment but afraid to make yourself too comfortable. Eddie came out from the bathroom a few minutes later, his hair wet from taking a shower. “Oh, hey! I didn’t hear you come in.”

“Sorry, Wayne let me in before he went to work.”

“No need to apologize,” Eddie chuckled. “Um— Let me get dressed and I’ll grab some tapes for us to watch.” You didn’t even notice that Eddie was shirtless until he said that, but once you saw it you couldn’t unsee it. Your eyes lingered a moment longer than they should have, making blood rush to your cheeks. Eddie rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, unknowingly showing off his body even better. “I’ll— uh, I’ll be right back.”

Eddie got dressed in record time, quickly returning with a large blanket and three tapes. “Okay, we’ve got Friday the 13th, Evil Dead, or Poltergeist.”

“You had to pick all horror movies, didn’t you?”

“Of course,” Eddie grinned, setting the tapes on the coffee table in front of you. “I haven’t been able to see you hide under a blanket during jumpscares in a while.”

A pang of guilt shot through you, but you swallowed it down. “Um… Friday the 13th.”

Eddie nodded and put the tape in the VHS player. “Bold choice. I like it.”

As the movie played, the two of you fell into an awkward silence. You and Eddie used to be able to talk for hours about anything and everything, but now you couldn’t find anything to say. Eventually, Eddie spoke up.

“So… how are you doing? After, you know…”

Of all the things Eddie could have asked, it had to be that. “I’m okay I guess.”

“You guess?”

“I mean,” You looked down and started fiddling with the edge of the blanket. “I’m glad it’s over, but I still feel like shit about it.”

Eddie got closer, putting a hand on your shoulder. “Hey, don’t do that to yourself. You’re better off without him.”

You sighed, still not looking at him. “I know. It just— It felt nice. Being in a relationship. I was so happy to have a boyfriend that I let Jason get away with so much shit.” Your eyes filled with tears, but no matter how hard you fought them, they still fell. “And even though he was an asshole I still feel lonely without him. It’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid. He was good to you at first, it’s okay to miss that.”

You shook your head. “That’s the thing. I don’t think I miss the beginning stage, I think I miss all of it. I miss the shitty parts too because I miss having a boyfriend in general. I was perfectly fine with being single before, but he ruined that for me too.”

“Please don’t tell me you want to be with him still. He’s a piece of shit.”

“I know he is… I just—“ You cut yourself off with a groan, not sure what to say. Eddie bit his lip as he thought something over. “What are you thinking about?” You asked him.

“I think… I think you need a rebound.”

Your eyes widened, “A rebound?! It’s only been a couple days.”

“I know, but that’s the whole purpose of a rebound— You find someone new right after.”

“Okay, even so, isn’t that a shitty move? I mean, I’d feel bad just using someone like that. It’s not like me.” If you were honest with yourself, you knew that you were Jason’s rebound from Chrissy. That was enough to make you not like the idea of having your own rebound.

“What if they knew? Like, they know what they’re signing up for?”

At this point the movie had ended, but neither of you noticed the credits rolling in the background. “That’s almost worse. Do I just walk up to some guy and say ‘hey, my boyfriend and I broke up so you should let me use you as a rebound so I can get over him’?” Your response quieted Eddie for a minute. Right when you went to apologize, he stopped you.

“What if it’s me?”

Your heart stopped beating. “What?”

“What if I’m your rebound?” You searched Eddie’s eyes for some kind of sign that he was joking, but you could tell he was completely serious.

“Eddie… I could never do that to you.”

“What if I want you to?”

That question struck you harder than Eddie’s initial suggestion of having a rebound. The idea of dating Eddie had crossed your mind before, many times. But this would be using him. “Why would you want that?”

“Because I want to be with you, and this may be the only way I can ever do that.” Your mouth fell open but Eddie wasn’t done yet. “You need someone right now. And I’m the one that’s here. Let me be what you need.”

Your brain was in such a state of shock that it couldn’t put the right words together. All that came out was “Eddie… I can’t— I don’t…”

“If you don’t have feelings for me, that’s fine, you don’t have to talk about it, just let me make the pain go away.” Eddie was pleading with you, begging you to use him; to walk all over him and throw him away. “Please.”

“I don’t want to ruin this…” You felt your eyes well up again, but the tears stayed in this time.

Eddie chuckled wetly, making you notice that he was crying too. “I already did… Even if you don’t accept my offer, you know that I’m in love with you. I can’t take that back, and I wouldn’t even if I could.” As if he could read your thoughts, Eddie continued. “You wouldn’t be using me. If anything, I’m taking advantage of your broken heart to have a chance with you… We can use each other.”

Now it was your turn to laugh. “That last sentence sounded vaguely dirty.”

“You just had to point that out, didn’t you?”

For a minute, you and Eddie just laughed. For that one minute things felt normal. It felt like your relationship with Eddie hadn’t completely shifted. But that minute ended and reality set back in. “So? What do you say?”

You looked into Eddie’s eyes once more and saw the same desperation from before. He truly wanted this. And you never could tell Eddie no when he really wanted something.

“Okay.”

[mintmatcha]

i feel like it's the beginning of izuku having some kind of breakdown. he can't function and he hadn't seen his mom in so long and how could he just pretend it didn't happen for a tv interview and he doesn't want to be a hero anymore and--

that realization is like a punch to the skull and has him full-blown hyperventilating and trying to figure out where it went wrong, how he let everything get out of hand but who can replace him but he doesn't care but he has to care

the thoughts are racing and for the first time in a long time he's frozen in fear, and the tears start to come and it burns and hurts in a way he hasn't felt in a long, long time

(im not great at angst but djdjdjdjd ur izuku is making me lose it)

continued from this (cw for parental loss)

Swallowed by a pile of unfolded sheets and mostly dry blankets, Izuku can barely manage to look up at you. The suit you had pressed for his television appearance is crumpled behind him, tucked up and under his elbows, uncomfortably trapping his arms close to his sides, but he doesn't move. He lays there, watching the stationary ceiling fan as if it has the answers he’s looking for.

Every other time Izuku has been in your bed, it's been for sex, but now there's no sheen of sweat on his skin, no tickle of a genuine smile; his skin is pale with grief, stricken physically sick from anguish, a misery clinging so tightly to him that you feel it yourself, gripping your heart tighter with every beat.

He had disappeared immediately after his interview, gone before you could even think what to do. It took hours to track him down, calls to friends who hadn’t heard the news and visits to his usual haunts.

Any other day, you might tease him for breaking in with your spare key, tease him for not even folding your laundry, but today you offer the little peace you contain.

"Are you okay?" you ask as you approach, even though you know the answer. Deku calls you his 'fixer', the person who keeps things running smoothly from behind the scenes, but this is something you can't repair.

"My mom died," he repeats, voice brittle with disbelief.

"I know." You sit on the edge of the bed and hesitate for a long while, contemplating exactly what to do. You can't fix this. You can't make this better. "I’m sorry."

"I know." The stillness of it all, how his chest barely rising with every breath, how the street outside in silent, how you can’t bring yourself to move, haunts you. If you don’t do anything, maybe it’ll be like this forever, suspended in a moment neither of you wants to remember.

So, you inch closer to him.

“Sit up for me.” You tug him up by the shoulders, guiding him up into a sitting position. Izuku is still oddly like a rag doll, letting you move his arms where they need to be as you guide his suit jacket off his body, dropping it into the pile below you. Once it’s gone, you begin with his cuffs. Yucking your thumbs under the linen and caressing the soft skin there, you feel the scars from his youth. raised yet dormant, phantom pains sometimes still rumbling under the surface with rain is on the way.

When you drop the cuff links into the floor and begin on the front placket, Izuku seems to gather himself. His hands settling on your thighs, no playful squeeze or tender stroke. Just a simple touch to feel you there.

His voice reverberates in your hands as you undo the collar’s button. It’s a shiny, opalescent white, a stark contrast against the black of his shirt. Real mother-of-pearl, the salesman had told you, made from oyster shells. "Am I a good person?"

That question haunts you, doesn’t it?

You undo the next unbutton. His white undershirt is practically threadbare and it reeks of cigarette ash, something different from his usual brand. There might be a tinge of alcohol on his breath, but you can't quite tell.

You’re good to a fault, good to the point it’s bad for everyone around you.

Another button and you can see the dark curve of a scar across his sternum, still hyperpigmented because it hasn’t had time to fade. In the right light, you can even make out the remains of stitches under the surface, yet to dissolve.

You’re so good it’s almost killed you.

Another button. It’s as smooth and cold as it was before it was cut, nestled in some poor mollusc that didn’t know any better.

“Sometimes I wish you were less good,” you murmur.

 I think you’d be happier then.

"I haven't visited her in months," Izuku lets his head roll to the side as if it takes too much will to keep it up. His curls are held in place by too much hairspray, practically defying gravity as he talks, mumbling under his breath the same way he does when he’s analyzing data: even and scarily calm. "Ahe texts me every day, but I'm busy, I’m so busy, I’m-"

The hitch in his voice surprises both of you.

“There’s not enough time.” He helps you shrug off his dress shirt and his hands return to your sides, clutching your much tighter this time. “I don’t have enough time, there isn’t enough time to do it all, I'm only one person.”

His voice stays even and distant, but his hands are trembling as they close tighter, thumbs digging into the soft inside your hipbones. The pressure aches, then hurts, growing with every word.

“How am I supposed to do everything?” he mumbles, “I can’t be a hero and a person, I can’t be a hero and a partner, a hero and a son-”

"Izuku-" You think he might crush you without even realizing what’s happening. His palms are squeezing, fingers digging, all of it so tight you can’t wiggle away even when you try.

"I don't want this anymore, I don't want to live this life,” Izuku’s voice cracks again, “I don’t want- I don’t-

His eyes seem so verdant against their red rims. "I chose television over my mom."

“Izuku.” Your hands find his face, cupping his cheeks and pleading for his attention. “You’re hurting me.”

The pain unfurls when he lets go, blood rushing back to damaged skin. It’s going to bruise and you’re going to feel the hurt with every step.

"I'm sorry, I didn’t-" he watches his palms as if they can offer him any explanation. The skin under your touch smudges and you realize his screen make up is still on; you drag your touch down, exposing new seas of freckles, dark and bountiful. When your hand trail to the curve of his jaw, his throat bobs with a slow swallow, once then twice.

“I know you didn’t.”  And with that, you crumble into each other. Izuku buries his head into the soft below your collar bone, dragging you less than gently into his lap. You wrap yourself around him as tight as you can muster and yet it doesn't feel like enough.

"You have to let go," Izuku sighs after a long while, "I'm afraid you're gonna see me cry."

You slink off of the bed toward the door and he tenses with every step, muscles bunching with worry and self restraint. You give him once last glance before you turn off the light. You've seen him nude before but never so bare.

You can find him in the dark, arms extended, open and demanding like he needs you, even if he doesn't want you. Pressed up against you, you can feel what you can't see: the wobble of his lip, the wet against his cheek.

"I thought it was so annoying to have her text me every day," he whispers, voice barely pieced together through its cracks and gives, "And now I want is one more. One more text."

His body hiccups with a sob, silent before he lets go completely. It's ugly. It's snot and anguish, nonsense pleads to someone and no one, anger, grief, and emotions you aren't sure have names.

You hold him. That's the only thing you can do. This isn't a cross you can bare for him.

[perseephoneee]

letters back and forth

ISAAC LAHEY X READER

requested by @gallifer

prompt: you’re a were-jaguar that left beacon hills after your parents got killed and you finally return to reconnect.

a/n: besties i’m back? mayhaps 

Coming back to Beacon Hills was a bad idea, and it was even worse to be waiting outside the school for everyone to rush out as the bell rang. You felt your heartbeat thumping like an approaching army, and all you could do was wring your hands in nervousness. You haven’t seen Scott and everyone else in six years– would they even recognize you? Would they forgive you for leaving? You weren’t sure. You just had to hope. 

You remember the day your family died like it was in perfect resolution. Watching the hunters shoot them down, hearing their hearts slow down until they stopped. Watching the warmth from their eyes fade until it was nothing. It’s why you left Beacon Hills in the first place, to get away from that past and that trauma. 

You thought maybe it was the perfect time to finally return. You couldn’t keep running forever, though, you knew that much. It’s what caused you to come back after all these years away. That and the news that a new supposed Alpha had risen up in Beacon Hills. One by the name of Scott McCall. 

The bell rang, signaling the end of the day, and already students were filing out, desperate to get away from the hellscape that is high school. Your breath caught in your throat, waiting, and right as you thought you might just turn around to leave, the familiar lopsided grin of Scott came into your view. He was talking to Stiles Stilinski, and all you could think was how time had been kind to them. They looked so much older and more sure of themselves than when they were kids. You hated that you didn’t get to grow up with them. 

“Y/N?” Scott asked, stopping in his tracks the second he made eye contact with you. So he did recognize me, you thought. 

“Hi,” you gave a half-hearted wave, fear clutching your heart. You were ready for him to push you away. Instead, he came over and collapsed you to his chest, giving you the most bone-crushing hug in the world. Stiles joined in, welcoming you back, and if you weren’t in public, you might’ve started crying. 

“Where have you been?” Scott inquired, pulling away from you. 

“That’s a long story; think we can go somewhere so I can catch you up?” you asked, smiling shyly. 

“Come back to my house; my Mom will want to see you anyway,” Scott grinned. You were happy to note that his smile hadn’t changed. 

You drove back to Scott’s house with Stiles, and as Scott said, Mama McCall was relieved to see you happy and safe. Apparently, intense hugs were genetic, as you felt your breath leave you as she squeezed you tight. Not too soon, all three of you were sitting in Scott’s living room with snacks and drinks, catching up on the past six years. 

“You’re bullshitting me,” Stiles said after you explained what you were. “A were-jaguar? That’s not real.”

“Considering I’m sitting right in front of you, I’d say it’s pretty real,” You bit into one of the EL Fudge cookies, catching the crumbs that fell from your lips. 

“I’m sorry about your family,” Scott sighed, cutting off whatever sarcastic comment Stiles was about to say. 

“It’s been a while; I just….” you cut yourself off, not knowing what to say. “I thought I shouldn’t be alone anymore; I should be with a pack. Supernaturals are better in packs anyway.”

“We’re barely a pack,” Stiles said. “More like an asthmatic werewolf, hunter, banshee, and whoever decides to tolerate us that day.”

“Dude, I told you I don’t have asthma anymore,” Scott groaned. 

“I can’t hear you over all your wheezing,” Stiles retorted, earning a slap from Scott that devolved rather quickly. As you were about to break it up, the front door opened, and the last person you expected walked in. 

You’ve had a crush on Isaac Lahey since you were seven. He lived close to your house, so sometimes, you would play in the backyard before dinner. You would make cardboard houses and decorate them with blankets from inside or have competitions in the cul de sac. You remember falling in love when he let you ride his bike. You never had a bike, and you were jealous of everyone who did. His bike was sleek and had a bell that he would always ring. He helped you figure out how to make it go and how to dismount. All you could think was how kind he was to you and how any other kid in the neighborhood would’ve been impatient. You loved him ever since, and you didn’t forget him when you had to leave Beacon Hills. In fact, you wrote him a letter that you intended to send, but you were too scared and never got the chance. 

Now he stood in the foyer of Scott’s house, wearing Chuck Taylors and a sky-blue henley. He got tall, real tall. His jaw was sharp, and his cheekbones were perfectly defined. His golden curls didn’t seem so dorky anymore; they matched his ruggedly handsome attire. The only thing that hadn’t changed was his eyes; they still were gentle. 

“Hi–” you waved, but Isaac just shrugged off his backpack and went upstairs, not allowing you to finish his sentence. “-- Isaac,” you sighed, dropping your hand. 

“Isaac is living with me now,” Scott coughed, obviously sensing your disappointment. “You know Isaac, he’s uh–”

“I know,” you smiled, pretending it didn’t affect you that much. “I should probably get going; help my aunt unpack–”

“You should come to the lacrosse game tonight,” Stiles exclaimed. “Good way to reconnect.”

“Okay… I can come.”

To be honest, you didn’t remember what lacrosse even was. Sports were never your favorite, and you were surprised to find it involved catching balls with sticks. You were not surprised to find Stiles on the bench the entire time. That boy had never been coordinated with anything in his life. You got an excellent chance to get to know Lydia and Allison in the stands, the latter moving to Beacon Hills later. You were surprised to find out how much you liked Lydia, as you remember her being stuck up from growing up. Still, they warmed up to you, and you were happy to share your secret-were-jaguar-ness with people who understood. As the team filtered onto the field, you clapped with the rest of them. Scott shot you a thumbs up, earning a laugh from you. Your breath caught when you saw Isaac run onto the field. You wanted to talk to him, needed to. He just needed to notice you. 

That’s why you screamed his name the loudest out of everyone during the game if Isaac had the ball or scored. By the third time of being the most obnoxious attendee in the stands, he finally made eye contact with you. You held his stare, daring him to look away, and he only did when it was required. By the time the game ended, Beacon Hills had won, and you were surprised to find you actually watched a sports game without being bored. You caught up with Scott and everyone at the end, giving big hugs and congratulations. You felt a stare burning into your head and turned around to see Isaac looking as awkward as ever. 

“Hey,” you smiled, shoving your hands in your jacket pockets. You pulled an eyelash out of nervousness. 

“You still do that,” Isaac said, his voice deeper than you remember. 

“Do what?”

“Pull out your lashes when you get nervous,” Isaac grinned, and you thought it was the best smile in the world. 

“Can we talk?” you asked. 

“Yeah, let me just get changed.”

You waited for Isaac outside the locker room, waving Scott off when he asked what you were doing. Eventually, Isaac came out, and you found that even after all these years, you still felt butterflies deep in your core when he looked at you. 

“So, where should we go?” Isaac inquired, scratching the back of his neck. 

“There’s a lovely forest behind the field,” you answer.

“You want to take me to a forest?”

“Is that wrong?”

“Feels like you’re going to kill me.”

“I can’t kill you now, but maybe later,” you smiled, earning a grin from the boy across you. You both walked out of the school to the forest behind the field. You remember hiking through that forest with your family before you left Beacon Hills. It had the most sparkly sky during nighttime, and while some might think the quiet was unnerving, for you, it made you feel perfectly at peace. And right now, next to a boy with whom your heart was enamored, you needed peace more than ever. 

“Good game, you played…nice,” You mumbled, not knowing how to fill the silence between the two of you. 

“I aim to play…nice,” Isaac coughed, shoving his hands in his pants pockets. 

“So uh, how–”

“Why’d you leave?” Isaac pried, stopping you in your tracks. Why is he so tall? Was he always this tall?

“Isaac–”

“You were the only thing making that house bearable, and then you left, and I felt so alone,” Isaac choked. Your heart broke hearing his words. 

“My family was being hunted because I’m a werejaguar,” you exclaimed. “That’s why I left. It was never because of you; it never could be because of you.”

“You’re a–”

“Were-jaguar, I know.”

“I’m a werewolf,” Isaac announced, looking like too many gears were turning in his head to catch up. 

“I know.”

“You know?”

“The smell,” you explained. “You’re…musky.”

“Did you just call me musky?”

“Isaac, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for leaving. I know your Dad sucked, and I know me leaving sucked–”

“Y/N–”

“I’m so sorry,” your voice broke. 

“I missed you,” Isaac mumbled, looking at the ground. 

“I missed you too,” you pulled out another eyelash, feeling the butterflies become angry fabric-eating moths in your stomach. Before you could contemplate your bad decisions, you wrestled a crumpled letter out of your jacket pocket and thrust it toward him. “I wrote this for you when I first left and never had the nerve to give it to you.”

“What changed?” Isaac inquired, taking the letter from your trembling fingers and tearing it open. 

“I lost everything already; what else is going to happen?”

Isaac looked at you, a mixture of sadness and other unrecognizable emotions in his eyes as he pulled the letter out of the envelope and unfolded the slightly yellow paper. You held your breath as his eyes scanned the page. Isaac was almost always an open book, never being very sly. Somehow though, he managed not to reveal anything as he read the letter. He folded the paper and put it back in the envelope. You held your breath as he wrestled with something in his back pocket, pulling out a crumpled scrap of paper from his wallet and holding it out to you. 

“What is that?” you questioned, your voice caught in her throat. 

“You’re not the only one who wrote letters.”

You took the paper from his hands, your fingers shaking as you opened it. You had a small smile as you took in Isaac’s elementary school messy scrawl. 

Hey Y/N,

You’re gone, and it makes me sad. I don’t know where you went, but things suck at home, and I miss riding my bike with you. 

Girls are weird, but you never were. Talking to you was easy, and I always knew I could trust you. Call it an instinct, but everything with you felt natural. I don’t know if you’ll ever read this, I don’t know if you’ll ever care, but I thought you should know that you are important to me. My mom talked about love at first sight, and I thought love was stupid. But with you, I think I understand what she means. 

– Isaac

You wiped a tear and then ran down your cheek, looking up at Isaac. The moon highlighted him in a beautiful halo, and all you could think was life was cruel to damage this angel as so. 

“One of us needs to say something before I have a heart attack,” you smile nervously, your eyes wide. 

“Is your letter still true?” Isaac whispered. “Everything you wrote, is it still true?”

“Yes,” you breathed, looking at your hands. “I still love you,” you mumble. 

“Fuck it,” Isaac mumbled before tilting your chin up and pressing his lips to yours. Your brain short circuits, your breath catches in your throat, and all you can think is, ohmygodheskissingme. The small voice in your head sends you a swift kick, though, and you kiss back, relishing the feeling of his lips on yours. It ends too soon, and Isaac pulls away and rests his forehead against yours. You can feel his nose tickling yours and his breath ghosting your lips. “I love you, Y/N,” Isaac whispered, his thumb brushing your jaw and his other squeezing your waist. “Don’t leave again.”

“Never; I’m never leaving again.”

[final-girl96]

My Boyfriend's Back Chapter One

Masterlist

Sunday 10:00 PM

September 21, 1996

I was down in the basement in my little studio working on some new music. I always lost track of time when I was down here and that was almost every day. Ever since that night, the night I found my mom. I was for a while going to some kind of party or taking every free shift at the video store I could. I tried not to be home longer than I needed to. I ate and slept there, sometimes not even that. It went on for months. Stu would come to find me and take me back to his place and there was always a breakdown that happened when he did.

Then I started to pour all of that anger, guilt, sadness, every single emotion I was feeling into music. I spent more time at home either in my room reading or downstairs in the studio. I mean I did other things too. I still work at Bradley's and I spend time with Stu and my other friends. Me and Sidney haven't been on that great of terms but we're making more progress. After Cotton Weary, one most recent man our mom was seeing, was arrested for her murder Sidney and I had a huge fight.

She didn't want to believe that our mother would sleep with someone else. Sid and I had different coping mechanisms. She shut herself off from everyone, especially Billy. She wouldn't let him touch her for months. It was all because we were told that our mother wasn't just murdered, she had been raped first. Sidney locked herself up and became a prude. I mean before that her and Billy couldn't keep their hands to themselves. He was being patient with her but I could see that patience was slowly withering away.

There had always been rumors of Maureen Prescott being the town whore. But that got worse after her murder. People would come up to me and Sidney and tell us we were going to be just like her. I had one girl from school come up to me at a party and tell me I was a whore just like my mother. Let's just say her perfect little face isn't so percent anymore. She cried while I threw punches. I guess I'm lucky she said it at a party and not at school. I should be a junior this year but I studied my ass off enough that I get to skip right to being a senior. I guess taking those AP classes paid off. Sooner I can get out of this town the better.

There was a knock on the door frame since I didn't close the door. Dad didn't really care about the noise, not like mom had. I looked over to see him standing in the doorway. "Hey, sweetheart," he said, walking into the room. I set my pen down, turning around in the chair to look at him better. "Hey." I gave him a small smile. "Thought I'd come down and let you know it's ten o'clock." I turned my head to look at the clock on the desk and sure enough it said ten. "Oh, I didn't realize how late it was." He nodded his head, "You've been losing track of time when you're down here. Everything alright?" He asked. I stood up, nodding my head. "Mmhmm." After turning all the lights off we headed upstairs and went to bed.

Monday 7:00 AM

September 22, 1996

I was in my room getting ready for school when my bedroom door opened. "Good morning, gorgeous!" I rolled my eyes, "Stu, what're you doing here?" I asked. I turned back around, shoving my books in my bag. "What, I can't take my girl to school?" I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind. His lips connected with my neck. "How'd you get in?" I asked. "Your dad let me in on his way out the door." He rested his chin on my shoulder. "You never called me last night."

"Yeah, sorry about that. I was downstairs and lost track of time. My dad had to come down to get me to come up and go to bed at like ten." He hummed and kissed my temple. "Working on something new?" He asked, sitting on the bed. I nodded, "mmhmm. And no you can not hear it," I said, laughing at his pouty face. His hands went to my hips, moving me so I was standing between his legs. "You've been spending a lot of time down there lately. You doing okay up there?" He asked, tapping two fingers on the side of my head. "You having nightmares again?"

Ah yes, the nightmares. Or more like one nightmare that just comes back over and over. Me walking into the house finding my mom except in the dream she comes back, pointing a finger at me and telling me it was all my fault. "No, no. You know how I get when I'm writing a new song. I hyperfixate on it. That's all it is I promise." He nods his head, gripping my hips slightly and then smirks. "So, you think we have time for a quicky?" I hit his shoulder laughing. "Oh, my god! You're such a perv!" He pulled me down on top of him as he fell back onto the bed, "yeah, but you love me."

Eventually I was able to pull myself away from Stu and we left for school. Sidney had already taken the bus. Billy stopped picking her up after she kept declining over and over. They were on better terms and she actually allowed him to touch her now but they weren't the same as they used to be. And Billy has been a little more closed off since his mom left not long before our mom was murdered. Sidney never really tried to ask if he was okay after mom. He tried being there for her but she was never there for him.

"You going to come over for a little after school?" Sru asked, pulling into a parking spot. "Umm… I have work after school but I'll come over if you pick me up," I told him, smiling. "Deal! But if I pick up after work and bring you home with me, you're staying the night. I fucking miss you." I rolled my eyes as I got out of the car. Stu rushed around to my side taking my bookbag, putting it on one shoulder, and taking my hand with the other. "You see me, like everyday, Stu." He let go of my hand and put his arm around my shoulder to bring me closer so he could kiss my forehead. "Doesn't mean I don't miss you."

[bluejaysandblackbats]

It Takes A Village

Fandom: YJ98, Flashfam, DC Comics

Summary: After witnessing Bart murder someone, his friends scramble to cover Bart's tracks and stumble upon an international scandal as a result.

(Minor background: Bart took a gap year, and Conner did two years of community college. This starts shortly after Bart's 19th birthday. So, Conner and Jenni are 20, Bart and Cissie are 19, Tim and Cassie are 18, I made Greta 17 for the sake of the fic, and Judy is 15. I decided to make Owen 22 and Thad 16 for plot reasons. Clark and Conner are brothers in this fic, and Clark is 12 years older for the sake of this fic, so he's 32.)

Chapters: 8/?

Characters: Bart Allen, Conner Kent, Judy Garrick, Jay Garrick, Joan Garrick, Cissie King-Jones, Cassie Sandsmark, Tim Drake, Greta Hayes, Jenni Ognats, Thad Thawne, Owen Mercer, Meloni Thawne, Clark Kent, Wally West, Linda Park, Courtney Whitmore, President Thawne

Relationship(s): KonBart, CissieCassie, WallyLinda

Additional Tags: Serial Killer AU, No Powers AU, Angst, Dark Comedy, Bart Allen Kills in This Fic, Minor Thad Thawne, Separated in Childhood, Some Smut in This

Chapter Eight: Reach The Surface

Bart woke up early and turned on his side to check his phone. He had a few more text messages on top of his ten unanswered ones. He went through, reading each one. 

ROY: checkign in. how’s it goin

HELEN: Bart, I want you to call me when you get some time. I’m worried about you.

TIM: What do you mean you’ve seen the Alabama White Thang???

JOAN: Are you okay, sweetheart? 

PRESTON: who is the mystery guy??? 

CAROL: As your friend, ily but what the hell is a protein freakshake??? Bart, I’ll kill you

JAY: Bart, what is tfw? Judy keeps sending me tfw’s but none of the pictures go together

CONNER: are you ok? do you want me to order you a pizza?

LINDA: Hey, bug. Just wanted you to know I love and miss you so much! Give me a call and lmk when I can kick your ass on MK

GRANDPA: Goodnight, Bart. I love you so so much. I had the loveliest conversation with your brother, Owen. He seems like a nice kid. 

CONNER: super worried about you, omw rn

JUDY: Mom’s a little worried about you. Everything ok?

TIM: Hey, do you mind if I come over next Thursday? 

THAD: Is it okay to text you?

Bart called Thad first. Thad answered immediately. “Good morning,” Thad answered. 

“Good morning… Hey, are you okay? Everyone’s going kind of nuts, huh?” Bart asked. 

“Yeah… I’m okay, though. I didn’t know him. Is it strange to feel detached from it all?” Thad questioned in reply. Bart sat up and played with Conner’s hair, keeping him asleep.

“No… I get it. Do you know I love you?” Bart asked. 

“I—. I like to hear it. I love you, too… But um—. Why’d you call me this morning? Is something wrong?” Thad asked. Bart paused and tried to think of something to say. 

“In the observatory… Do you ever remember seeing cameras?” Bart asked in Interlac. 

“No… But I’m sure there were cameras. Did they make the lights pulse to change your mood?” Thad asked. Bart tried to think about it, but he didn’t remember anything like that. 

“No… I remember sometimes it used to be dark… They’d blindfold me and put these headphones over my ears and—. I think I—. I don’t remember how long they’d do that, but I remember they used to tell me how unsafe the other side of the door was… And they used to leave it cracked after. I used to beg them to shut the door,” Bart explained. Neither of them were emotional when discussing the observatory. Bart couldn’t even be moved to be angry at that moment. 

“Why are you thinking about the observatory? Did Grandpa Thawne—?” 

“No. He hasn’t sent anyone to bring us back. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. Okay? I—. I’m not gonna let anyone take you away ever again. Okay?” Bart reassured him. His heart pumped, almost frightening him. He felt so alive and so intensely passionate about everything. “And you can text me anytime you want. I want you to visit me as soon as you can. You can sleep in my room. I’ll give you a tour of the school. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Thad answered, “Aunt Helen wants to speak to you.” 

“Okay. Give Aunt Helen the phone,” Bart gently commanded. 

“Bart, are you alright? I called you twice last night—.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t feel well, so I went to sleep… And when I woke up, Conner was on his way over, so I didn’t have a lot of time to—.” Bart took a breath. “I’m okay now. You don’t have to worry about me, Helen.” 

“Don’t I, though? Bart, I always worry about you. I worry because I love you,” Helen replied. 

“I appreciate it… But I promise I’m fine. I’m not upset at all,” Bart answered honestly, “Actually, I’m doing really well.” Conner stirred beside him, smiling into Bart’s leg. 

“You’ll call me if things start getting bad… Won’t you?” Helen asked. 

Bart made a soft noise. “Sure, Helen,” Bart replied. A lie. “Hey, I’ve gotta go.” 

“Okay… Be good,” Helen half-joked. 

“I’ll try,” Bart answered before hanging up. “Good morning, sleepyhead.” Bart set his phone aside and rubbed Conner’s back. Conner hummed sweetly. 

“Good morning,” Conner smiled, “Do you wanna brush your teeth with me?” 

Bart chuckled and nodded. “Do you need a toothbrush?” Bart asked. Conner nodded. 

**

After they brushed their teeth, Bart and Conner crept back to Bart’s room. “You’re in a good mood,” Conner whispered as Bart shut the curtains. He gave Conner one of his wireless earbuds and he wore the other one. Bart climbed up the foot of the bed, kissing his way up Conner’s legs until he kissed the front of Conner’s shorts. Conner instinctively lifted his knee, and Bart patted his leg. “Come up here… I wanted to try something, but I’m not sure if you’d be—.”

Bart sat cross legged. “What is it?” Bart asked. 

“Well… I kind of—. It’s a weird mixture of kinks, but I—.” 

“Conner, I’m not gonna laugh at you. I promise,” Bart replied.

“You know how I kind of like you to get a little rough? Well, I wanted to see how that worked with a little praise,” Conner explained while he wrung his hands. Bart sat on Conner’s lap and kissed Conner, parting his lips as his fingers caught in Conner’s curls. Bart pulled back, half out of breath, grinning with an open mouth. 

“If you wanted me to tell you how good you were, all you had to do was ask. I could go on and on about you for hours,” Bart whispered.

“Oh, really? Name one thing you like about me,” Conner teased. 

Bart gave Conner’s hair a little tug, and he felt Conner’s hard-on twitch beneath him. Bart bored down, grinding into it. Then, he leaned in for a kiss only to yank his hair a little harder. Conner moaned and in a panic, he held a finger to Bart’s lips. “I like the way you can’t help but moan when I pull your hair. I think about that a lot. And I think about those pretty lips of yours so much I see them in my dreams,” Bart whispered as he thumbed Conner’s bottom lip. Conner advanced forward for a kiss, and Bart backed away, giggling as he teased him. He climbed off of Conner’s lap and dropped his shorts while he looked for a towel and a condom. Stroking his dick with one hand as he scratched his head with the other. 

“What are you looking for?” Conner asked. 

“A rubber,” Bart answered as he grabbed a towel. Conner looked in the bedside drawer and pulled out a box of condoms and a bottle of cooling lubricant. Bart smiled looking at Conner bent over as he dug through the drawer. He climbed on the bed, creeping closer and closer until he was close enough to slap him on the ass. Conner jumped, and Bart pulled him back on the bed. Bart fell into a fit of laughter. “Boing!” 

“You’re so stupid,” Conner laughed as he lay in Bart’s lap. 

“I want you so bad,” Bart replied. Conner leaned forward to get the lube and condoms before Bart wrapped an arm around his waist, gently humping him, rubbing his dick against the thin fabric of Conner’s boxers. 

“You’re gonna chafe,” Conner giggled. Bart kissed the back of Conner’s neck, almost growling in his ear. 

“You better take your pants down then,” Bart whispered. Conner’s face went flush, and he clutched the front of his shorts. He took a breath and gave Bart the lube and condom from his drawer. “Is this too much?” 

“No,” Conner answered as he pulled his boxers down in the back. Bart took a pillow and threw the towel over it. 

“Are you comfortable like this?” Bart asked. He softened in his demeanor for a moment as he felt along the line of Conner’s right thigh. 

“I’m good,” Conner answered. Bart gave him a comforting pat on the ass as he slipped the condom on and rubbed his dick up and down against Conner’s hole. He jumped when Bart squirted the cooling lube on his ass. “Oh, fuck.”

“Is it too cold?” Bart asked as he slipped the tip in. Conner shook his head, cocking it as he felt it cool his insides. 

“No, I think I like it,” Conner replied. Bart pushed in all the way and stayed in place for a moment, giving Conner a  moment to get accustomed to the feeling. “Oh.” One pump. Slow and gentle. Two… Three. A little faster. The faster the thrusts the more noise Conner made. 

Bart slowed down and pulled Conner’s hair before leaning down to whisper, “You’re gonna wake Cassie and Cissie.” Conner bit his lip as Bart pulled out. 

“Why’d you—?”

Bart patted his back. “I wanna look at you,” Bart whispered.

**

Conner lay on his stomach while Bart lay beside him, rubbing the raven-haired boy’s back. “Are you comfortable?” Bart asked. Conner threw an arm over Bart’s lap. 

“Mhm,” Conner hummed. Bart took a sip of water and nudged Conner to offer him a drink. “No, thanks. I’m good here.”

Bart had so much energy, but he didn’t know what to do with it once Conner settled in. He tossed and turned so much that Conner had to touch his arm. “Hey… Do you wanna kiss for a little bit?” Conner asked. Bart nodded. “You’re so cute. Come here.” 

Bart leaned close, and Conner turned on his side, offering a few lazy kisses. His lips never completely parted with Bart’s in between kisses, but it was enough to keep Bart in a perfectly serene state of mind. “I love you,” Bart whispered, “God, I love you so much.” Conner shushed him.

“I love you too, but we’ve gotta take a breather,” Conner explained. He parted Bart’s bangs with his finger. “Let’s just kiss… Okay?” Bart looked into Conner’s eyes and nodded. They leaned in for another kiss before they were interrupted. 

“Cissie wants to know if—. Jesus Christ!” Cassie screamed before turning her back. 

Conner pulled the blanket over both of them and laughed into Bart’s shoulder out of embarrassment. “Get out! Get the hell out of here!” Bart shouted in Interlac. Cassie stepped outside and shut the door. He nearly jumped out of bed Conner’s smile faded, and he patted Bart’s chest, bringing him back to the present. 

“Hey, she didn’t mean anything by it,” Conner whispered as he kissed Bart’s neck. “It’s alright.” Bart leaned forward and shut his eyes. “Bart?” 

His hands shook as he struggled to distinguish between the past and present. He couldn’t stop thinking about the pictures in the file. Everyone must’ve seen it. The reality of being constantly monitored for twelve years weighed on him. “I’m sorry… I should go apologize,” Bart whispered. Conner grabbed his arm. 

“Let’s talk first. That was scary… What happened?” Conner asked. 

Bart chewed his lip. “I don’t know if I can tell you right now… But I—.” 

“Bart, if it’s something you don’t want anyone to know—. I won’t tell. It’ll be between us two. I just—. Bart, I want to know what that was about… Because that seemed like it came from somewhere else. I think it’s worth talking about,” Conner whispered. Bart nodded. 

“Not now… But we’ll talk soon. I promise,” Bart replied as he climbed out of bed and dug through his closet. He grabbed a pair of overalls and tossed them on the foot of the bed before slipping a pair of boxers on. 

“Where are you going?” Conner asked. 

“I’m gonna apologize,” Bart replied, “And then I’ll take a shower… If you want to come.”

“Okay… I’ll be there in a minute,” Conner answered, “Bart… Are you okay?” 

“Yeah,” Bart lied with a smile on his face as he put his pajamas on and carried his clothes out of the room with him. 

“Hey, Cassie? I—. I shouldn’t have yelled,” Bart replied, “I was more embarrassed than anything. I’m sorry.” Cassie couldn’t look him in the eye. 

“I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have flipped out like—. How long has that been going on?” Cassie asked. 

“Not long… What were you asking?” Bart questioned, quickly changing the subject. 

“Oh, we’re going to the beach. Do you wanna come?” Cassie asked. Bart smiled and nodded. 

“Yeah… I’d love to. I’ll ask Conner in a—.” 

Conner came out of the room, holding his clothes. “I packed swim trunks. Are you gonna get in the water this time, Bart?” Conner asked, draping an arm over Bart’s shoulder. 

**

Conner took Bart’s hand and led him toward the water, and Bart’s mind drifted to the boat. So much sky. So much open space. Open water. Iris had to hold him down, wrapping her arms and legs around him to keep him safe and still. He would’ve done anything that night to return to the observatory. Bart dug his heels into the sand, and Conner stopped, nudging Bart’s face with his nose. “What’s the matter?” Conner asked. 

“Sorry, I got distracted,” Bart replied. 

“Do you not know how to swim?” Conner questioned. 

Last summer. Bart stepped into the lake by the Kent farm and—. He dragged himself out of the water, crawling most of the way to the Kents’ property and limping toward the house until he got to Conner’s window. Conner wasn’t dressed. It started coming back, slowly focusing like a camera lens, capturing the moment. Conner was naked when he pulled Bart into the window. Why was Conner naked? Bart mumbled something. He kept mumbling something, and Conner couldn’t hear him. He wanted Conner to hear him. What was it? Why couldn’t he remember? “Why were you naked last summer when I came to your house?” Bart asked. 

“What?” Conner questioned. He wasn’t angry or upset at the question, but it gave him pause. Conner turned to look at Cassie and Cissie, who were preoccupied, and he placed a gentle hand on Bart’s cheek. 

“I limped to the window… I knocked… And you were naked. Why were you naked?” Bart asked. His voice felt a million miles away while he held onto the fragment of a memory. 

“I was asleep… It was hot that night, and I didn’t expect you. You were visiting your grandparents and—. What’s wrong? Do you wanna walk and talk about it?” Conner asked. Bart nodded. “You were super upset, and you were mumbling nonsense. I helped you inside through my window, and you—. You said you wanted me to come with you, but you wouldn’t tell me where, and you didn’t move. I figured you were drunk.”

Conner kissed Bart’s forehead, but Bart was a million miles away. Bart was present mentally, but he couldn’t stop thinking about how good it felt to watch Jacob die. It did something to him. It gave Bart a feeling that he couldn’t attain with drugs or alcohol. Something about it excited Bart. It wasn’t everything, but it was a start. He checked back in, realizing Conner was still speaking, and he grabbed his face, cradling his cheeks in soft palms. “I want you,” Bart whispered. 

Conner touched foreheads with Bart, smiling at the lift in Bart’s mood. “Will you settle for a kiss right now?” Conner asked. Bart leaned in, parting his lips as Conner caught him, pulling him in close. He brushed Conner’s cheek with his thumb as he pulled back for air, his tongue reaching out to meet Conner’s open mouth. Conner stopped, pulling back when he heard Cassie and Cissie hooting and wolf whistling at them. He reached behind Bart’s head, giving him a sweet scratch. “You okay?” 

“I’m alright. Thanks for coming this weekend… And I know I’ve been weird, but I promise it’ll get better,” Bart reassured him. Conner smiled. 

“You can be as weird as you want… As long as you’re happy,” Conner replied, “Come on, let’s get ice cream.” 

“I thought you wanted to go swimming?” Bart teased. 

** 

Conner took a nap on the couch while Bart cooked dinner and called his grandparents. Iris answered first. “Hi, Bart. Are you alright?” Iris asked. “I’m sorry I called Conner, but I figured he’d be able to get you to talk.”

“Grandma, I’m okay. I called Thad this morning. Speaking of Thad… Have you talked to him lately? He wants to hear your voice… I know he does,” Bart whispered. 

“I know… I’m about to hop on a plane to see him right now. That’s what I wanted to tell you,” Iris replied. 

“You are?” Bart questioned. 

“Yes. And you won’t tell him, young man. I’m trying to surprise him. I know I missed his birthday, so I’m taking your grandpa to Manchester to surprise him. Your grandpa’s so excited. He didn’t get any sleep last night. We’ve been planning this for months—.”

“Iris, look! I got you a giant pretzel,” Barry exclaimed on the other line. 

“Honey, do you want to talk to Bart while I eat the giant pretzel?” Iris laughed. 

Bart sliced some fresh oranges while he waited for Barry to take the phone. “Hi, Bart! How are we doing today?” Barry asked. We. Bart always found it funny when Barry said we for one person. 

“I’m good… I’m making ribeye for dinner. Conner’s visiting,” Bart replied, “I heard you’re visiting Thad. Give him a hug for me. Okay?” 

“I will. Wish I was there for some ribeye, though. That sounds good right about now. What are you making on the side?” Barry asked. 

“Salad… And roasted potatoes. Potatoes are in the oven, but I’m about to put the ribeye in right now,” Bart replied. Something spoke over the loudspeaker on the other line. 

“Sorry, we couldn’t chat longer. We gotta go. We love you so much,” Barry replied. 

“Love you, Grandpa. Tell Grandma I lover her, too. Have a safe flight,” Bart smiled as he hung up. Cissie joined Bart in the kitchen and smiled at the spread. 

“Is there anything you can’t do?” Cissie asked. 

“Clean my room… Eat chives. Control how stupid I sound when I talk to Conner,” Bart listed off. Cissie smiled at him. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Conner and me… I just—. I wanted some time to enjoy it. It wasn’t a secret, I just—. I can’t explain it. I just know I’ve wanted this forever,” Bart whispered. Cissie looked up into his eyes. 

“You don’t owe me an explanation. Besides, I kind of thought something was going on,” Cissie replied, “I’m happy that you’re in love. You’re one of my favorite people in the whole world, and I think you guys are good for each other.” 

[applepi-1]

Trauma - Kuroo

You stayed to yourself, you never talked to anyone, you always stayed to yourself.  You always stared at the empty spaces as if there was nothing around you worth of your attention. You walked with no hurry, and you even looked pleased to have no one around.

Just your luck on a rainy day, you forgot your umbrella. You were walking to school with your bag over your head not in any rush to hurry up and get to school. You cursed yourself as you stepped in a puddle. You froze as you didn't feel the cold rain anymore. "Hey, there?" You slowly looked up surprised to see the captain of the volleyball team. He was just as surprised to see you, walking in the rain. "You can sick without an umbrella." You looked at him for a second before walking off again. "Hey!" You can hear him run up to you quickly. "Hey, what's up? Why are you running away."

"No." Was all you told him.

"I'm sorry."

"Just stop." You quickly walked off faster than you have all year and ran into the school. That's when life got complicated, ever since that run in with Kuroo, he's noticed your more.

Soon enough, he started to notice little things about you. He noticed how you fixed your things on your desk, and how you sited. Classes got more boring each passing day, and he started to notice other things, too. He started to notice how you fixed your hair, and all the things you did to keep yourself entertained in class. 

But he noticed something else.

You were always alone. You weren’t rude to anyone, or had a bad attitude. He had seen you help other classmates when needed. He was no stranger to people like you. His best friend, Kenma, was one of those people. He understood it existed certain pleasure in being alone. 

He wondered about you. Wondered why you were always alone, where did your mind wonder, how did you never get bored being alone?

And eventually the truth hit him.

He liked you. After that he tried to talk to you but always got the answer, no. He asked around about you and never got anything real. It frustrated him, so one day he waited after school, waited for you to walk by. "So, Y/n. Why are you always alone?" You looked over at the tall boy.

"You don't give up."

"You should ask my team that question. They'd laugh."

"Right." You began to walk off but he followed.

"Seriously, how come I never see you around anyone?"

"Okay, stop." You turned around cutting off his tracks. "Whatever game this is, stop. I'm alone for a reason okay? Just stop."

"Why? Why should I?"

"Why are you so invested in me all the sudden?"

"Because... I don't know actually. I just... I like you."

"You know nothing about me."

"I wanna know more about you." He stepped closer to you making you step back.

"I keep telling you no for a reason."

"Which is?"

"You won't like me once you know me. I'm better alone, I won't break things."

"You think you'll break me?"

"I know I will."

"I'm a pretty tough guy."

"Why are you so desperate?"

"Why are you so... difficult?"

"Kuroo... I let you in, I will ruin your life."

"Then.. it's on me. Just give me a chance."

"Why should I?" Kuroo reached for your hand, you flinched a little before allowing it.

"Because no one should be alone in the world." You looked up at him as he rubbed your knuckles. "And because... I want to get to know you."

"Okay." Kuroo wasted no time to put a smile on his face at the word thankful it wasn't another no. After that you still hid things from Kuroo, but you grew comfortable with him, and you eventually became his girlfriend.

He scheduled a date with the team to meet you, you were beyond nervous. To make matters worse your dad and mom were arguing and you accidently broke a glass, you jumped as your dad looked over at you. "I'm so sorry." You quickly ran out the house before he could do anything, and ran to the restaurant where you were meeting the team. You met Kuroo at the door and was greeted by a head kiss before walking into the restaurant. You sat down smiling at everyone, the dinner was going smoothly, everyone was talking telling you stories about Kuroo. Until you accidently spilt a cup. "I-I'm so sorry."

"Hey it's okay, it's just a cup of water. I'll get it." Kuroo said as he picked it up and placed napkins down.

"How come y'all aren't angry?" Kuroo looked at you in shock.

"Its just a cup, did you get cut?" You looked at Kenma and began to crying.

"Hey, love, why don't you stay at my house tonight, okay?"

"Yeah... ok." He stood up and helped you to his house. "I'm sorry about dinner."

"Hey no, are you okay though?"

"My dad hits me..." Kuroo looked at you in horror cutting off his steps.

"Babe..."

"That's why... why I didn't want to date you."

"You won't break me. I won't break you. Okay?" You smiled up at him and nodded your head. "Because I love you..."

"You do?" You looked up at him with a wider smile.

"I do."

"I love you too." You leaned up and kissed him softly.

"I'll keep you safe. I promise."

"Okay."

[therantfairysblog]

The nostalgia

✍️ note: Kiriya ubayashiki inherit his father's care for their corp's member, he was getting older but he still keeping track and care about them, their descendant and reincarnation although they were never aware of their connection in the past.

When he reached 110 years old, the worlds has change so much that he can barely keeping up anymore. Moving cars, sky crappers, coloured television... it's the moment like this that keep reminding him that his time were soon arrive.

"Tako chan, i want to go to the town .."

One of his grandchild, 40 years old sutako was cleaning his bed when she heard his grandpa asking her with a smile.

"....grandpa, are you okay? You need to rest a lot" it's not that she's want to reject her grandpa request but that old man has been sick a lot lately. Well, he's already old, it's inevitable.

"it's fine. I promise it's the last time."

"Hana chan!! Please take care of the house, i want to take your great grandpa out." 15 year old Hana come with a big bowl of popcorn in her hand. His great grandchild remind him of his sisters who both already passed away of old age. With pretty white hair, fair skin and petite physical, Hana really is adorable kid. "...okay, but don't comeback too late mom"

.....

The bright streetlights start to light the road. Dinner time is almost there.

"Tako chan, let's go to that restaurant, it's my favorite restaurant. You see, their ramen is really good"

"Grandpa, you can't eat spicy no more. The last time you eat, you were admitted to hospital..." Kiriya looked at Tako with silence, sad face.

"....alright ...alright, let's choose the leassst spicy one okay?"

"ohhh Grandpa Ubayashiki, long time no see, how are you? Sutako san, please sit here, only you two?" The beautiful owner of ther restaurant greeting them with her usual cheerfulness. The pink and green hair's lady with pretty beauty mark under her eyes smiling widely with the sight of her regular who used to come everyday when he was much healthier.

"yes, grandpa insist to go out today and of course he'll come here," sutako smiling and talk to her, almost whispering. "He's stubborn, you see," the lady just smiling.

"The usual ramen okay" Kiriya looked at her. Sutako sigh. "...can you make it very least spicy, he's can't handle spicy stuff anymore, and me udon"

.....

The restaurant was full. Kiriya watching the owners with his soft eyes. Her husband back in the kitchen, cooking and the lady moved around to take order.

Just like the past. These two are always together, went to restaurant together. It's an open secret in the corps. Everyone knows, although the two hashiras didn't realize it.

Anyway no one knows why he love to go here, only him and yushiro. If he even told it to his grandchildren, it's not that they'll believing just like that. Kiriya realize that the lady always rubbing her belly. He smiled.

" Congratulations, it's the fifth aren't it" Sutako who merely eating her udon almost choking herself. "Grandpa .."

The lady shocked but she's smiled widely and happily, her face slowly getting red. "haha grandpa, you always sharp. How could i keep it from you ...yes, it's already 6 months. Doctor said this one is a girl, I'm excited"

"wahh, congratulations, it's been busy here, you should hire more worker" Sutako cleaning her bowl.

"Nana chan should be here tomorrow so I'll not handling it alone. My husband insisted to get more worker so i couldn't object anymore."

.......

As less customers come past dinner time, the lady and her husband come to see Kiriya.

"How are you, Ubayashiki san? It's been a long time. I'm sorry i couldn't greet you, today is quite a day," the husband opening his mask, smiling, showing him his pretty face. Kiriya smiled. ' there's no scar anymore, his smile is genuine as ever, his eyes shining brighter, I'm glad'

The four of them having a nice convo until night. Telling about their business and some commotion from school kids that love to parkour around and causing mess, an always angry policeman and his subordinate who come to drink and complain, and their plan to choose the nursery for their child etc.

"there's one popular nursery alright, with that big caretaker who the kids there loved, i think you should go there?" Kiriya recommend it to them.

The husband and wife looking at each other and laughed a bit. "See, even ubayashiki san recommend it. It's the sign then" the lady hugging her husband's arm. "Alright alright"

Sutako watching them with a little smile. Her grandfather is such an observant person despite his old age. Something that really impressive.

"Grandpaaa!!!!" A sudden screaming from upstairs shocked them. 2 of the couple's children come hugging him.

"heyyy, don't be too harsh to grandpa," the husband apologize to Kiriya but he just nodding. "my sweetheart, how are you?"

"uwaa, grandpa, tell me more about the demon's story, tell me more. Did they win??? " the oldest child asking him enthusiastically. Ahh, it's remind him that he never properly close the story to them the last time he visit.

"alright,come here..." sutako watching her grandpa and her eyes get bigger when she saw the clock. It's 9 p.m. "Granpa, it's late .."

"hmmm. Can you wait for a bit, just a little bit, its been a while since i saw them." Kiriya take a little son and put him in his lap. The lady and her husband feel a bit guilty. "I'm sorry, you two, why you asking grandpa like that?"

Sutako know it was useless to argue, she's called home and asked Hana that they'll come back a bit late that day.

"Alright, when the final battle conclude....the heroes died but all of them successfully eradicated the evils ...."

......

Yushiro watching them from a far, with chachamaru, he looked at them with smile and a sad eyes. Just like his father, kagaya, kiriya is really care about the corp's member and now despite the organization has already long gone, he still care about the whereabout of their descendant and reincarnation.

However, for Yushiro, sooner or later, he aware he'll lose kiriya too. Ubayashiki Kiriya what a man you are. Be happy, old man.

[schizochasm]

I went to the store.

My mom sent me 100sek less than she said. So I had to cut some stuff and accept that I'll not have money for the rest of the week.

I still got 2 6packs though. Cause if I hadn't I would've been even worse off.

I was supposed to start watching SVU while waiting for the bus, but my friend called. They were very upset, but at least it saved me from watching it.

Rant about him and my life

TW: (sc1de talk, abuser, hopelessness, and just horrific shit tbh. Proceed at your own risk.)

Once I got home I smoked 2 ciggies in the bathroom venting at him. About how I don't even care anymore and if I had the money I wouldn't talk to anyone anymore. And just let go of what I "need to do" to keep my life together. Just isolate and go back to being g drunk 24/7. Cause I just don't care anymore.

And I told him how I feel about him. How much I hate him etc. even though I know he knows. He's in my head. He knows all of what I think and feel. More than I do sometimes.

I just needed it said.

That's when I made my last post.

After that it was time to watch fucking SVU.

And I'm not even through episode 1 and already hate him for it. And myself.

I can't. I can't cope.

I hate myself for getting this way. For being sick. For being schizophrenic.

And for not listening to him when I should've.

I hate him for ruining my entire life ever since I first met him. Especially after I got sicker years ago and he came back.

But everyone keeps saying he's technically me. He's part of me. He's from my brain.

But he may be from my brain. But he's not me. Fuck that. He's not me. He's nothing like me and he's just horrific terrible scum.

Yet I can barely muster being mad at him anymore.

It's been years. Years.

I'm more submitted, broken, and scared than angry.

That anger, fight, and animosity... It's almost all gone...

He broke me long ago.

And it only got worse over time.

I'm not even one cohesive identity anymore. Not to me.

I'm broken.

And people with abusers that "are real" can escape. There's hope. Somewhere in there you might escape. It might end one day.

But me with my "not real" abuser doesn't get that. For about 2 years I held on to hope.

"One day it'll all get better." And similar. I heard it so much I believed it deep down. That one day maybe it'll all end.

One day he'll stop. He'll go away again and I can start healing and making a life.

I don't have hope anymore.

Not anymore.

It's been at Least 2.5y.

At Least.

I suck at keeping track.

You break.

You fold.

You lose hope.

I can't run. He's in my head.

I can't go to the cops or a shelter. He's in my head.

The meds aren't enough to make it stop. (Maybe if I had a decent dr it could've worked.)

Therapy can't help me cause I'm Currently being controlled and abused, in every category of abuse.

I wish I were dead.

I wish I could k1ll myself.

But my younger brother died 2 years ago.

And since then I don't have it in me to k1ll myself.

Can't do that to my mom and brother. They can't lose us both.

So I'm stuck living.

In a hell scape that people want to just brush off and ignore. Cause to them it's not real. To them it doesn't matter.

It's real to me.

I experience it as if it were real.

But they don't treat me like that's what I'm dealing with.

And I can't even tell them outright myself.

Cause he won't allow me to talk about it. They know. More or less depending on who. But they don't treat it like that's the case. And they never will.

Cause they can't see the scars, rope burns, rashes, cuts, brandings...

They can't see him. Hey can't hear him.

It's not real to them.

It's not the same to them as if it were in shared reality.

I just wanna die.

I just want out.

I don't have a life to hold onto.

I'm just doing it cause I Have to.

Sorry for the rant....

I just....

I wish I could kms...

Maybe one day I'll mercy k1ll myself ...

Maybe one day....,