#I know my story! I'm an outliner and have been thinking through my struggle scenes since I stalled out in September!

[604to647]

The Might of the Realm

8.9K / Din Djarin x Princess!Reader

Summary: Din Djarin, General to your father’s army, finds himself in the gladiator arena of a foreign planet fighting for the success of your diplomatic mission.

Warnings: 18+ Content (MDNI please). Established secret relationship (they are stupid in love), Mando'a nicknames (mesh'la, cyar'ika, cyare), the helmet comes off but reader is blindfolded, bath sex, fingering, unprotected PiV (Star Wars is made up and in space, so we pretend it's fine). A wee bit of angst if you squint.

A/N: Written for @beefrobeefcal's The Glandolorian challenge! This is the same AU that I imagined for my Kiss It Better drabble, with the same Princess!reader: set post Season 3, Carson Teva has dispatched Din to a New Republic stronghold planet to train and strengthen their armies; he becomes their General and falls in love with the realm's princess. I imagine this story to take place before Kiss It Better, when they are still sneaking around 🥰.

Many moons before another General (🤭) came on the scene, I outlined a long story for this AU that I'm not sure I'll ever write, so kindly forgive my self indulgent word count - I really took advantage of this challenge for a chance to write these two 🥰 Struggled a bit with the Dieter Bravo reference, but I think I found something that works (Thank you to @morallyinept for your invaluable character dialogue database!) Also got inspired by someone's Gladiator II premier look and snuck in one (1) The Princess Bride reference 🤭 / Dividers by @saradika-graphics

“No.”

“Princess, it will be fine.”

“I said ‘no’, Din.  We came to pay our respects to the new rule and to affirm that our established trade routes through Flavin 5’s space will remain intact.  We did not come to be participate in some archaic gladiatorial fighting match to assert dominance.”

Even through the blankness of Din’s visor you can tell he’s amused by your hiss of a retort but is holding back his reaction.  His stoic and impassive demeanor normally reserved for others, you know that if he’s being less than fully direct with you it’s for one of two reasons: 1) he doesn’t want to lie or 2) he doesn’t want to risk your ire.  You suppose it’s the latter in this case, and that thought alone is reason enough for you to calm your emotional response to this predicament and reassess.

Taking a deep breath, you rest one hand on your hip and mimic a stance you’ve seen your fearsome General make many times; with your other you gesture at Din to present his argument for voluntarily sending your guard, the top lieutenants of the army he commands, into a battle arena on foreign soil.

“Mesh’la, I know your instinct is to protect your people, but you know as well as I that our troops, and especially the men who have been deemed fit to accompany you on this diplomatic mission, are more than capable of handling themselves in any combat situation.”

Din almost chuckles at the way you tilt your pretty head ready to interrupt, his feisty cyar’ika; he continues hurriedly, but with the calm confidence he knows you respond to, “You diligently studied Flavian traditions and history before embarking on this trip – you yourself taught me all I know of these people.  Despite the new ruling family’s decision to resurrect this ancient custom, what is your sense of these people?  Do they seem barbaric?  Cruel for cruelty’s sake?  This isn’t the Petranaki arena on Geonosis.”

You would roll your eyes at Din’s perfectly level-headed analysis, if you didn’t consider his strategic and tactical mind one of his most attractive qualities; Din’s shrewd ability to consider all angles of any situation is one of your army’s greatest strengths, and one that never fails to weaken you at the knees.  He’s taking this situation as seriously as you need him to, and so, you consider your answer carefully - working through your thoughts out aloud, “No, they are not a cruel people – and you’re right, these gladiatorial games were never about execution or spectacle like they were on Geonosis.  The ancient Flavian events were meant to bring the people, no matter class or station, together to be entertained, usually in celebration.”

“Do you think that tradition is being respected?  Or do you suspect some hidden agenda?”

You remunerate on this, thinking back to the new Flavian royal family you met earlier today, “No.  I believe them to be sincere.  Their purpose in resurrecting this historic custom is, I think, to build a connection with their people.  Participating in the gladiator match would be a show a respect for the Flavian people and a celebration of the new royal family.”  You take a deep breath, “So, we should participate.”

“I agree completely, Princess.”

This time you do roll your eyes at Din, but there’s no arrogance in your expression, “Fine.  But Din, just because there’s no ill intent does not mean there isn’t risk.  We don’t know what to expect from such a fight – there hasn’t been one like it held in centuries.  Who knows what opponents our men would face in the arena?”

“No matter who or what our troops are pitted against tomorrow, Princess, there is no doubt in my mind that they will be able to handle it.”

Nodding thoughtfully, you have to agree, Din did train them himself after all, “I believe it.  Especially since they will have their fearless General there to lead them.”

“No.”

“Din, it will be fine.”

“I said ‘no’, mesh’la.  I cannot leave you unprotected and without guard in the Royal Box,” huffs Din.

Stepping into Din’s space, you lay your hands on the shiny beskar that sits across his expansive chest, swearing you can feel it vibrate beneath your gentle palm from his thundering heartbeat; tipping yourself towards the great warrior before you, you feel his big, gloved hands move to your waist to steady you just as you knew they would.  Giving Din your most innocuous expression, you coo, “There is no need for me to have a protective guard if we deem the Flavian royals to be of honourable intent; if it is safe enough for our soldiers to participate in the gladiatorial games, then it is safe enough for me to be alone in the Royal Box.”

Din’s smile at your cleverness and persuasive tactics is hidden beneath his helmet, but he’s yet not ready to show you he’s given in so he remains as silent and cold as the armour he wears.

You use this opportunity to loop one arm around your hulking General’s neck to bring him closer to you still, your free hand takes one of his from your waist and brings it up to his helmet in a silent request.  The familiar click of Din’s helmet unlocking is the only invitation you need - using your nose to lift the brim of his helmet slightly above his strong jaw so you can find his plush lips with your own, you feel the hint of a smile against your pout before you deepen the kiss.  Opening to let Din lick into your mouth, you melt against the hard metal that represents everything he is to you: extraordinary, flawless, indestructible.

And such a good kisser, letting loose a soft whimper you nearly miss Din chuckle something against your lips.

“What’s that, General?” you sigh dreamily.

“I said, Princess, I saw what you did there, and that was NOT the way,” chastising with no actual bite, Din lowers and relocks his helmet.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” flashing him that breathtaking smile of yours that always makes him forget himself, “I’m only following the logic you already agreed to.  Grogu and I will be fine watching you showcase the might of our realm from the safety of our spectator seats tomorrow.”

“Grogu will be with me in the fighting area.”

“No.”

“Cyar’ika, he will be fine.”

“He’s just a baby, Din!”

“And a Mandalorian apprentice.  You’ve seen what a formidable fighter he’s already grown to be.”

And so on, and so forth – the two of you, the General and his Princess, spiritedly discussing and debating matters that affect your realm.  The thought crosses your mind, not for the first time, that when you ascend the throne after your father you will need a ruling partner who challenges you like this: one who makes you wiser and forces you to expand your horizons, but trusts your compassion and tender heart, and who you trust to keep you and your kingdom safe.  And as you always do when this thought naturally lends itself to an image of Din by your side, tall and proud as your King consort, you push it away as far as you can.  It hurts too much to imagine something that seems to materialize so clearly and happily, as if it could actually become a reality, when you know it could never be.

The crowd in the arena is deafening.  Already amped from the opening entertainment acts, they’re now cheering loud, calling for the main event.

Sitting front row in the Royal Box, you scan over the floor of the arena – knowing that it’s unlikely, but still hoping for a flash of silver beskar from behind one of the gates that line the sides of the arena floor, behind which lay the holding areas for the gladiator fighters selected for today’s match.  Once or twice, you think you spy the sunlight catch something shiny from beneath the stands, but before you can look more closely, someone from the Flavian royal family will engage your attention.  Though your mind never strays far from Din and his, your men, you cannot forget yourself or your role - your purpose for being in this arena today: you’re here to secure the continued prosperity your kingdom and strengthen your realm’s relationship with a long-standing ally. 

If you’re honest, despite the trepidation that sits heavily atop your heart, you cannot help but be affected by the electricity of your environment.  The stadium thrums and pulses with the excitement of thousands of Flavian citizens who have come out in the hot sun to partake in today’s festivities – you see children of all ages waving noisemakers and colourful flags, men and women young and old already cheering for who they anticipate to be today’s victors.  Based on the chatter in your tent, the news of your General fighting today has spread like wildfire through the city – very few Flavians have ever seen a Mandalorian, never mind have the privilege of seeing one fight; today was going to be a day they remember for the rest of their lives.  As for your companions in the Royal Box, you’re happy to see that your and Din’s assessment had been accurate – there is no underlying bloodlust or malevolent show of power associated with these fights, everything is only in good fun; your royal cohorts are all in splendid moods, showing genuine enthusiasm akin to the original spirit of the same games put on by their ancestors.

You’re just chatting amiably with the new Flavian king about having some of the wonderful Flavian wine and fruit you’ve enjoyed in the tent sent up to your room later, when a fanfare of trumpets echoes throughout the stadium announcing the start of today’s fight.  The crowd quiets to a soft buzzing as the amphitheatre’s speakers announce the entrance of your fighters; the volume rises again as the audience goes wild when the might of your realm runs in through the gladiator’s entrance.  You can’t help but beam, chest bursting with pride at the impression they make on the Flavian crowd – a big, broad Mandalorian General, towering in his stance and intimidating in his majestic armour, flanked by your guard: five of the strongest, most formidable soldiers from your father’s army. 

You spy Grogu before the Flavian royals do, but it’s only because you know where to look.  A perch for him has been attached to the side of his father’s jet pack so he can remain secure at Din’s shoulder during combat, but have the flexibility to jump off and join the fray if needed.  The instant the Flavian prince spots him, he excitedly points him out to the others – and you take great pleasure in informing your hosts that they, in fact, have the honour of seeing two Mandalorians today.

With only a few moments before their opponents arrive in the arena, you take a closer look at your fighting contingent – they have been outfitted with Flavian weapons (swords, blasters, electro shields), the standard issue armament of your kingdom they normally carry nowhere in sight; the only exception is of course Din, who carries the gladiatorial weapons like the others and all of his usual weaponry – you chuckle to yourself, imagining the poor Flavian weapons master who tried to strip a Mandalorian of his religion.

A loud voice announcing the incoming fighters for Flavin 5 jerks you back to the scene before you.  The crowd thunders as a squadron of battle droids nearly a hundred strong marches into the arena, each carrying varying sized blasters or blaster rifles in addition to their own swords, a few wielding double ended electro staffs.  You barely have time to fret over how outnumbered Din and your troops are before the king is rising in his seat and giving the ceremonial hand gesture for the fight to begin.

You hear your General shout quick, decisive commands and his trusty men move swiftly into the desired formation, electro shields lit up and expanded in one coordinated movement.  They advance as a team, strong and sure, every aim of their blasters true – each man practiced at covering the comrades at their sides as the droids begin shooting back.

When your men are close enough to the front line of the remaining droids, the intimidating battle cry you hear emanating from Din’s helmet is repeated in response at tenfold the volume by his men, a signal to shift fluidly into a tiered offensive formation that you recognize from watching their training on the palace grounds at home.

The legion moves with precision and speed, the crouched soldiers providing the impenetrable shielding needed by the men who stand tall as a precision sniper team that can’t be touched; your Mandalorian the tallest, unphased by the droid fire that bounces harmlessly off his beskar armour.

The formation is far more effective than the static positions of the droids and in almost no time at all, your fighters have driven the remaining thirty or so droids back towards the entrance gate.  Answering another roared order, your contingent springs apart with an unrivalled ferocity to attack the remaining droids via direct combat.

Din cuts down mechanical fighter after mechanical fighter, mowing through the defensive lines of the Flavian droids that have none of his agility and lighting quick reflexes, bolstered by his trusted troops at his back who move with the confidence of men who have been trained by the best, used to fighting with the best.

Grogu has left his father, jumping from his perch onto and over droids with lightening speed - they shoot at him with their blasters only to miss their fast-moving green target every time and take each other out instead.

You watch their every move with bated breath – every bolt that connects with your realm’s armour quickens your breath, the clashing sounds of weapon on weapon too loud in your ears, and each hit or wound sustained by one of your men jolts a phantom pain through your own body.

When the last droid soldier falls, your men, your man, stand victorious at the epicenter of the arena; bloodied, exhausted to the point that the heaving of their chest plates can be seen from the Royal Box… but all standing.

You can hardly believe it - your heart exploding with pride, tears nearly springing from your eyes in relief.  Looking to your hosts, you half expect them to congratulate you and acknowledge the victory of your fighters, but instead, you see them still engaged with the scene before them, eyes trained on the arena floor.

They smile with genuine excitement and anticipation, and your eyes snap back to Din and your soldiers at the sound of the brassy, melodic fanfare now being played throughout the stadium.  The crowd rises to its feet with an ear-splitting roar as the orchestral horns continue to crescendo, announcing the coming of something.

You glance at the Flavian prince, his face alight with boyish joy – he’s excited in an almost childish way and when he sees you looking at him, he beams and points to one of the gates that’s now opening, voice elated, “Cliff beasts!”

Cliff beasts?!? You stand from your seat and rush to the edge of the balcony, gripping the railing and leaning as far as you can so you can see what new challenger is about to enter the arena.  You gasp when you see it – a woolly beast larger than Din and his men combined, trotting out into the arena on four stubby but powerful legs.  A magnificent horn, the length of which must span at least half of the creature’s massive body protrudes from its snout, thick and battle ready. 

A mudhorn??  Of all the beasts to have entered the arena, what where the chances it would be the beast of Din’s clan signet?  For a moment, you’re alarmed that maybe there have been unseen machinations at play and you’ve been blind to it all – that you’ve somehow failed in your diplomatic duties, failing your kingdom, your men, Din. 

You study the Flavian prince who’s now proclaiming to his father, the king, “These cliff beasts are so large!”  The two of them are enthusiastically waving and gesturing to the other attendees in the Royal Box, their chatter is of wonderment and genuine amazement at the sight of this creature that they’ve never before beheld on their planet - you conclude, with relief, that it has to be a coincidence.  Wait, what did he mean – these? 

Peering down into the arena again you see a second, smaller mudhorn ambling behind the first.  A parent and its child!  Your heart tightens, imagining how scared the two creatures have to be and how fiercely the adult will fight in order to protect its young.  You catch Din’s visor pointed up at you from the arena floor and you know that he understands the distressed expression of your face perfectly.

Immediately, your General gathers his men and lays out his strategy – unknowable to the crowds of the arena, but you can read Din clear as day: he won’t cause harm to another living creature if he doesn’t have to.

Din and his soldiers slowly fan out, purposefully ignoring the young calf while surrounding the adult mudhorn.  As expected, the mudhorn charges in attack.  Trying to blink as little as possible for fear of missing anything, you watch wide-eyed as your men deftly leap and roll out of the path of the stampeding animal.  When the mudhorn stops and turns back towards the perceived threat to its young, the soldiers surround it again – rocking on the balls of their feet ready to evade its charge again.  They aren’t always as lucky or fast enough – you cry out in anguish whenever the Mudhorn makes contact, sending your guard flying, landing with a sickening thud on the arena floor from the force of the impact.  The crowd gasps in worry, cheering louder than ever when your men get up to rejoin their brethren in repeating the same maneuver over and over.

Din’s plan is working, the mudhorn is getting tired. 

Part of you is relieved, the other hopes that its fatigue doesn’t make the creature desperate; though your men are still standing, you don’t know if any of them can sustain more injury to their bodies – an increasing danger that only grows as Din and your soldiers begin tightening the proverbial noose.  You spy Din protracting his fibercord whip from his vambrace by hand only seconds before he does what you suddenly realize he’s going to do.  The mudhorn is pawing at the ground, exhausted and angry while your men surround it, now each only about an arm’s length away, when Din uses a jetpack blast to leap onto its back - throwing the whipcord around its horn and pulling back on his makeshift reins.  The other men scatter and the crowd screams as your General rides the wildly bucking animal around the arena.  At their General’s direction, your men are now divided between two tasks: half shoot at the galloping beast that unwillingly bears their fearless leader and his son, their blaster bolts a distraction but doing little to the mudhorn’s tough hide; the remaining men tasked with capturing and restraining the calf – the seemingly easier task. 

Heart nearly in your throat, you watch as Grogu climbs down the front of his father’s arm and onto the mudhorn, quickly crawling to the top of its head where the massive horn joins the creature’s skull.  With one of his little green hands holding onto the cord his father holds taut and the other placed directly on the mudhorn’s woolly head, you see Grogu close his eyes in concentration.  Gradually, the mudhorn’s steps slow and its movements around the arena become unsteady, then wobbly, before it finally teeters and crashes onto its side fast asleep.  Din jumps off just in time to avoid being crushed by the animal’s huge body - Grogu does a dramatic flip into the air at the same time and lands perfectly in his father’s waiting arms.  The crowd roars its approval. 

The Flavian royals next to you are on their feet, clapping and cheering with astonishment and admiration – congratulating you on the victory of your men and thanking you for the fantastic show you’ve provided them today.  Clasping your hands in appreciation, they heartedly assure you that the documents confirming your planet’s trade routes will be completed and delivered to you tomorrow. 

You express your appreciation before turning your attention back towards the arena, heart full - relieved and proud of the men still on the fighting floor.  You have to admit they make quite the sight waving to the cheering crowds while standing next to a sleeping mudhorn, two of your lieutenants holding a makeshift leash with a smaller mudhorn standing docile at its end.  To the admiring masses, the large beast was subdued by these men, the might of your realm, but you know the truth.  You blow a little kiss to Grogu who pretends to catch it in his little hand before waving back, happy but somewhat tired.

Even with his helmet on you can read Din’s expression as he looks up to the Royal Box.  Where is my kiss, mesh’la?

You smile back a playful smirk just for the unseen eyes behind the dark T-visor.  Later.

You pace in the large, ornamental suite that your hosts have graciously provided – it’s beautiful, a true testament to Flavian luxury and craftsmanship, but you have no attention to spare for its finery.  Not when you’re straining your ears to listen for footsteps coming down the hall, eyes continuing to dart towards your door as if for some reason you may have missed hearing them come.

“Princess…”

Your lady’s maids, Olivia and Serine, pace right along with you, following your tracks around the grand room.  They’re as exhausted as you are, but you know their hearts to be as determined as your own; you give them the most indulgent look you can muster and any plea to ask you to rest dies on their lips.  The three of you continue to take turns listening intently for the telltale sounds of a soldiers’ march.

Finally, you hear something.  Faint but purposeful footsteps walking in synchronicity – the herald of well-trained soldiers with an intended destination.  Perked, you look to your faithful companions with renewed vigor and sprint to your door, flinging it open without grace and hurrying into the dimly lit hallway.

They’re still far enough down the hall that you have some time, even with your hastened steps, to study how your men appear to be faring; you know that when you ask, they will insist they are fine so not to worry you.

Two of your country’s finest are limping slightly, one of your lieutenants and a captain.  Your other lieutenant is walking fine, but he has a nasty gash on his forearm, dripped, half dried blood wrapping around his wrist like a terrible bracelet.  The armour of your realm that the legion proudly wears has taken a beating, covered in evidence of today’s bout – marked, dirty and bloodied, but none of the men themselves appear to be grievously injured.

But it’s the man at the front of the pack that you study the most sincerely.  Din’s gait is not too unfamiliar for you to suspect he’s hiding any serious injury - he would know better than that.  After the battle on the Fields of Planoor he had learned not to conceal his injuries from you, that you were so familiar with his body and the way it moves, you would know something was wrong without a single word from him.  As Din stalks towards your group, you can feel the hot gaze from behind his visor assessing you just as you assess him; your General holds himself a bit straighter, his massive frame puffing in pride.  He bears no sign of serious injury, a little sigh of relief escapes your lips as you continue to run down the hall, Olivia and Serine hot on your heels.  But his back is probably killing him.

The men stop to a coordinated halt as you reach them; their weapons sheathed, they each raise their left fists to their chests and bow, “Princess.”

You wave your hands in a graceful but frantic manner, dismissing this need for formality, “Please.  Are you okay?  Is everyone alright?”

Reaching for Grogu, your heart settles a little when he climbs down from his secured perch on his father’s shoulder and leaps into your arms.  Fussing over him, you check his fuzzy green ears and sweet face for injuries; when you run your hands over his limbs and body to do the same, he coos and giggles as if being tickled.  Resting your palm against the security of the beskar rondel he wears beneath his tunic, you exhale in contented relief and place a long kiss to his head.  He’s okay.

Those same words are now being echoed out loud in the low modulated rasp of the voice you trust most in this galaxy, “He’s okay, Princess.  Not a scratch on him, the little womp rat.  The Lieutenant could do with some fresh dressings for his arm, but the rest of us are fine – a bit banged up and tired, but nothing a warm bath and a good night’s rest can’t fix.”

Knowing that Din’s helmet will give nothing away, you study the faces of your countrymen, trying to ascertain if their beloved General is downplaying the damage for your sake.  Finding no deception in their eyes, and knowing that they know you would know, you relent, “Have you eaten?”

“We were given sustenance after our victory.”

You raise your eyebrow at this, suspecting that Din’s words answer only for his men, but not necessarily himself.  Nodding, you give your final charge for the evening, “Olivia, Serine, please kindly see our brave soldiers to their rooms, run their baths and tend to them as needed.”

Your ladies-in-waiting curtsey in assent at your words and intuitively, Olivia extends her arms for Grogu – there are no secrets between you and your closest companions.  Din nods at her and she takes her favourite little green playmate into her arms, happy to help clean him and put him to bed tonight while his father is otherwise occupied.

Din turns to face his men – similarly, there are no secrets between the General and his most trusted squadron, men who love their princess with an unyielding loyalty that rivals only his own.  Your father’s soldiers salute their esteemed leader, bidding their Princess and General goodnight before following Olivia and Serine to their assigned quarters.

Silently, you take Din’s hand and lead him back down the hallway to your room, careful not to hurry should he be much battered and sore, though the urgency in your chest is nearly bubbling over.  Your concern appears to have been unfounded because as soon as the door to your room shuts, Din sweeps you into his arms with a force that takes your breath away - crushing you to his chest so tightly that you can feel him deflate beneath the hard beskar as he exhales his own long held sigh of relief.

You chuckle, “You would have thought that I was the one fighting cliff beasts in the arena today.”

“Cliff beasts?” Din tilts his head quizzically at you.

“I’ll tell you later.  Right now, let’s get you out of your armour,” your fingers slide under his pauldrons, feeling for the familiar release mechanism.

“Cyar’ika, if you wanted to have your way with me, you only had to ask - you didn’t need to send me into a fight arena with a mudhorn,” jokes Din, wincing slightly from the stretch of his muscles as they contract and relax with the weight of his armour being lifted from his aching body.

You cluck your tongue in playful disapproval, even as you continue to make quick work of removing the rest of Din’s armour.  With now practiced precision, you lift off his chest plates and the attachment frame, unhook his jetpack, unclip his cape, slide off his vambraces, unstrap his thigh plates, unlace his boots, unbuckle his belt, unzip his flight suit.  The ceremony of this process is one you will never tire of, nor is its significance lost on you. 

Din, a Mandalorian, willingly lets you touch his armour and remove it from his body – trusting your delicate hands with his most precious property: the physical embodiment of his honour and creed, the very symbol of his people.  Not only that, but he allows you to strip him of protection and reveal his vulnerability to you, exposing him and his softness – he exists as the man beneath the beskar for you and you only.  You’re the most privileged being in the galaxy – the weight of Din’s trust in you is something you will never take for granted.

When Din stands before you in only his boxers and helmet, you begin your study of his body in earnest.  Dancing your fingers across his hard and tanned chest, you trace old scars in order to separate them from new marks; palming his torso and checking his thick arms with the same careful hands.  Rounding your warrior, you continue your roaming examination over his muscular back and listen intently for any change in Din’s breathing when you press down on his tense shoulders – relieved when you hear him groan in satisfaction instead of pain.  As you’re lightly scraping your nails over his wide thighs you hear the telltale unclicking of Din’s helmet – he beckons you.

Rising to meet his lowering face, you use your thumbs to lift the brim of Din’s helmet slightly, always keeping your eyes closed so you don’t see any of his face – not for the world would you betray Din’s trust.  Mouth finding his easily, you kiss Din gingerly – unsure of what injuries he may have sustained beneath his helmet; lightly pecking his soft pout and pressing restrained affection to the corner of his mouth.

“I’m not going to break, cyare,” Din grins as if he’s reading your mind.

Snapping down his helmet with a bit more force than necessary, you peer up into the black horizonal stripe of his visor and sniffle, “I can see some big bruises starting to form over your abdomen and on the back of your thighs.  And the muscles of your arms and back are overstrained and need to loosen or you’re going to be more sore tomorrow than you already will be.”  The emotions you held in all day now start to spill over your lash line; dropping your head, you cry softly at the toll today’s events have taken on your strong man’s body and how he bears it without complaint.  Contrite and indebted that he sustained these injuries at the behest of your kingdom - your behest, for you. 

Din gathers you in his arms and pulls you flush to his chest, tilting back his helmet again he kisses you lovingly, devotedly – with every stroke of his tongue, every nibble of your lips, he reminds you that it is not only his duty, but his honour to serve your kingdom, to serve you.  He would do anything for you, without you ever having to bid it.  It is not in him to deny you anything, his heart’s desire is to give you everything.

“I love you, Princess.”

“I love you, General.”

Not without some difficulty, you pull yourself out of Din’s embrace and lead him to the suite’s fresher, running the taps of the large tub and scenting the water with fragrant, healing oils.

“I can do that, mesh’la,” one of Din’s large meaty hands covers yours as you test the temperature of the water.

Shaking your head shyly, you bring that hand up to your lips and kiss its calloused knuckles, “Please. Let me serve you, Din.”

“That is not befitting of a princess.”

“I am not like other princesses.”

Tilting your chin up with two of his thick fingers, you can feel the smile behind Din’s next words, “No, you are not.  There is no one like you in the galaxy.”

“And I’m yours.”

The helmet, never having been relocked, is lifted again and Din sweeps you into a passionate, hungry kiss, different than the reassuring and devoted kisses of earlier – deeper, greedier.

“Get in the tub, Din,” you murmur against his lips while you can, before you forget your task and give yourself over to him completely.

Chuckling, Din can only acquiesce whenever he hears a direct request from your mouth – he never hears you command him as his sovereign, only ever as his love.  No matter – he would obey either way.  Stripping off his boxers, helmet still on, Din slips into the steamy water of the deep soaker tub, letting out a heady groan at the way all his muscles relax in reaction to the sudden heat against his rough skin. 

With a soft footedness that still surprises Din, so used to picking up every little sound with his helmet’s acoustic sensors, you reappear suddenly with a small tray table bearing various Flavian fruits and wine for Din and a thin silk scarf for you.

“I know you didn’t eat after the match,” you say matter-of-factly when Din tilts his helmet in question.  Neither did you.

“Will you join me, cyar’ika?”

“Of course, my love,” you begin to disrobe, perfectly understanding the double meaning of your General’s question.

Though he’s seen and worshipped your naked form more times that you can count, there’s always something about being unable to see the eyes that devour you which makes you shy.  Able to detect the rise in temperature of your face, your bashfulness amuses Din to no end – if only you could see his own expression; every time Din sees you bare before him is like the first time, he thinks you might even laugh at the slack jawed, awestruck expression hidden by his helmet – if Mandalorians were to believe in a literal afterlife, then Din could well be deemed a heretic for he’s sure he’s already seen heaven.

Stepping in the tub, careful not to trip over Din’s strong legs, you settle on your knees in the water near his feet; taking the wash towel from the side of the tub, you lather it up with your own luxurious cleanser, the scent of which you know Din loves and begin to wash his body.  With great care and affection, you wash and massage Din’s feet, calves and thick thighs, the two of you quietly chatting about your individual perspectives on what transpired in the arena today as you move up his body with your loving touch.

Din groans when you wash his groin area, and you smirk and pretend to throw him a look of disapproval even as you stroke his fast-hardening cock with the washcloth.

“Cyare…” he strains.

“Hmmmm?” Humming, you shimmy to straddle his lap and innocently begin to wash his hard chest and tree trunk arms.

“You’re teasing…”

“Not at all, I’m cleaning,” you giggle.  Rising onto your knees, you lean over Din’s mountainous shoulder to clean his back, dangling your wet, supple breasts right at helmet visor level.  Definitely teasing. 

Two can play at this game. Din’s modulator muffles his snicker as he makes sure you’re entirely engrossed in your task of scrubbing his back, concentrating adorably so that you don’t notice when his big paws reach for your chest, groping and kneading the pillowy flesh with hardly any warning.

You squeal and grind down on Din’s cock - in retaliation he zeros in on your already pert nipples, rough fingers roll and pinch, flick and tug your pretty peaks until you forget your work and bury your face into his shoulder, completely lost to the pleasure that only the General can give you.

“Din,” your voice a soft whimper, needy yet still regal and melodic, “… you have to…”

“What do I have to do, Princess?”

His teasing tone makes you gush; this man knows exactly what he’s doing – you try to claw back some semblance of control over the situation, “You need to let me tend to any injuries you may have sustained under your helmet.  And let me wash your hair.”

“Oh, do I?” 

Nodding in earnest with your eyebrows raised, “Yes, and then you have to rest.  Your body needs it.”

“My body needs you, mesh’la.”

Leaning back, your eyes follow the trail of your fingers as they rake down the smooth skin of Din’s broad chest, slowing over the various long-healed scars whose tales of origin you know by heart, you prepare yourself to argue your way.  But the truth is, you don’t want your way – you need Din, too.  Here on Flavin 5, there is no fear of getting caught, no need for hurried kisses or fleeting touches – the two of you have time.  Time to enjoy one another.  Time to let your hearts run rampant with affection and want.

Tomorrow morning is the last morning you can wake lazily in Din’s arms, like any other couple waking to just another day in the rest of your lives together.  Tomorrow you will return home and your love for your steady warrior will once again need to be tucked away close to your heart, safe from the prying eyes of the kingdom. 

So, you don’t argue.

“Injuries first, General.”

“I have none, Princess.”  You can feel Din’s shit eating grin radiating from behind the beskar.

Grinding down a little on Din’s hardening length as a warning, “I should like to see for myself, thanks.”

“Of course, mesh’la.  I would see you satisfied.”  Though still smirking, it’s with enormous feeling that Din picks up the scarf from the side table and with his practiced hand, covers your eyes; wrapping the silk around your head twice before tying it securely.  He doesn’t ask you if you can see, knowing that if you could you would volunteer it.  Sitting prettily with your hands clasped together, you wait for the welcomed sound of Din’s helmet being lifted and set down where you scarf previously lay.

Heart full, your hands reach out to gently touch Din’s face, fingers tracing over the most intimate part of the man you love.  His jaw relaxes as you stroke though his facial hair and his plush lips curl as your thumb brushes over them.  Din’s strong nose feels unbroken, thank goodness – your gentle kiss to the tip earns you a breathy chuckle that tickles your throat.  Mapping the strong lines of his forehead, you discover your first wound at Din’s hairline – the soft curls of his brown (or so you’re told) hair already matted and sticking with dried blood.  When your fingers caress Din’s temple, you find a small superficial cut by his left eye, and your heart tightens further upon feeling a nastier slice on the apple of his cheek.  Even without seeing and Din giving away no hint of tenderness at your touch, you’re sure there are bruises starting to form on the face you love.

Though you’ve never seen it, you know Din’s face – positive that you could pick it out of a crowd as surely as you could your own in a mirror.  It’s the face of the strongest warrior you’ve ever known, one whose honour and integrity is as unbreakable as the beskar armour that covers his body.  A protector who fights without fail to defend the weak, uphold justice, and push back against tyranny and corruption – no matter how hard something may be or the risk to his own self, the man who bears this face will never back down, always standing up for what’s right.  It’s the face of a man who loves fiercely – loves his Creed, his people, his duty, his son, his woman.  You.  You know the face of this man, the man who owns your heart, your body, your soul - wholly and completely.

You wash this face, carefully cleaning your discoveries.  Then, before you wash his hair, you cradle Din’s head delicately and check for bumps and scrapes, sighing in relief when you find none.  Lathering up a generous amount of your shampoo, you distribute it through Din’s curls, massaging his scalp as he groans in approval.  Your smile at the sound could melt even the steeliest warrior’s heart, Din is sure – it melts his.

When his hair is rinsed and face pat dry, salve applied to his wounds, you attempt to get Din to eat from the food on the tray.

“After, Princess,” Din’s voice somehow lower than when it’s filtered through his modulator.

“After what?” you pretend to be confused.

“After I have what I’m truly hungry for,” you can feel the sides of his face lift beneath your hands as the curve of his mouth pulls up into a wicked grin.

You flash him what you think is a mirroring smirk, “And what is that, General?”

Din takes an excruciating long time trailing his fingers featherlike down the column of your throat as an answer.  His massive hand skate over your naked breasts, pinky pretending to be caught on your pert nipple before catching up with its brethren that have moved on to tickling your soft tummy.  When his hand finally dips below the water, it’s no more hurried, no less teasing – knuckling down the front of you, his hand so big and wide, his thumb and baby finger stretch to slowly stroke along the apex of your thighs at the same time with no additional effort at all.  You quiver at your warrior’s languid and gentle touch – that these same hands are trained for weapons and brutality is not lost on you; how lucky are you to be able to feel them as they are now, so close to where you need them, reverent and worshipful.  Hands meant for building up and protecting, instead of tearing down and destroying - and yet you know them capable of both - and moreover, that they can and will do both to you. 

Leaning forward to press your lips tenderly to Din’s, you whisper, “Promise you’ll eat after?”

He knows the condition of the ask is empty - you need him as much as he does you, both of you hungry for more than the food your empty stomachs growl for.  The worry you felt for your Mandalorian every second he was in the arena today has morphed into a blazing desire now that you have him secure once again in your loving arms; even when he was facing blaster fire or the murderous glare of a mudhorn today, Din’s thoughts never strayed far from the moment he could return to your warm embrace.

But he plays along, because he knows you need to hear it, “I promise, cyare.” And then, because your well being is always as much on the forefront of his mind as his is yours, Din adds, “As long as you eat with me.”

“Promise.  Now touch me please, Din,” you’re trembling, not just from want but need, a need for the reassurance that he’s here safe, that the violence you saw in the arena did not touch him.

Even if he had not pledged his fealty to your kingdom, Din would submit to your request, to you – if it were up to him, he would spend the remainder of his days catering to your every whim, carrying out your will, doing anything and everything necessary to ensure your happiness.

He parts your folds with his fingers, finding you slick and ready for him.  As Din glides his thick digits along your seam, your soft moans fill the steamy room, “Ohhh Din, yes right there, please.”

“Such a polite little princess, isn’t she?” hums Din, loving how responsive you always are for him.  He kisses down your neck, nipping at your shoulder as you come to a rest against his chest.  You’re shuddering from the way he’s stroking your pussy, swirling infuriatingly at your needy hole but never dipping inside, teasing you with long broad swipes up to your clit.

Pressing his thumb against your already slippery nub, Din takes advantage of your lack of sight and surprises you by dipping his head down to take one of your breasts in his mouth at the same time – you cry out from this sudden double attack, body trying to run.

The old bounty hunter in him activated, Din chuckles and increases the pressure of his hand on your pulsing clit, and with his free hand, he holds you firm by the nape of your neck - face now buried deep in your cleavage, biting and sucking every bit of soft flesh his mouth can find.  Rolling your pert nipple between his teeth, he seals his lips over the sensitive peak and murmurs, “I got you, mesh’la.  Let me make you feel good.”

At his sure words, you immediately relax and willingly giving yourself over to your warrior, sighing in surrender as he worships you with his fingers and his mouth.  This is the only time that you allow yourself to be covetous of what is not rightfully yours – Din’s face you may know without having ever seen, but the lascivious sight of what he looks like when he loses himself in your pleasure remains a mystery.  You secretly long to see it – wishing to know how dark his eyes burn, how his lips wet and plump, how his brow might furrow or relax in reaction to your whines and whimpers. 

If you were his riduur – no.  No, you can’t let yourself go down that path of longing, it only ends in heartbreak. 

As if he can sense that your mind has started to wander, Din slips two of his thick fingers deep in your heat and curls them, beckoning you back to him.  You fly right back into the moment and to the space of devotion that he holds just for you, gasping for air at the stretch of his welcomed intrusion.

“Need to get you ready for my cock, cyare,” purrs your Mandalorian, bringing you back fully and binding your heart to his in the here and now.

Nodding almost mindlessly, you crash your mouth to Din’s.  The kiss is desperate, needy for so many reasons – your tongues licking and chasing, dancing to the song of perfect pleasure that strums along the electric current that connects you.  Din feverishly conducts the symphony of your body – grand upward motions of his fingers in your cunt send waves of bliss that crescendo through your core; the sweeping of his lips against yours keeps you in tempo with his own urgency; his rolling downward gestures on your clit coils the band below your belly tighter and tighter.

No one can play you like Din can – beneath the beskar armour he’s a master musician, lover.  Like the weapons he so deftly wields and handles, your body is an instrument he knows intimately – every shift, slight change or tensing is noted and adjusted for so he can optimize performance, maximize your pleasure.  Din knows you’re going to come before you do by the key in which your breath hitches, the cadence of your fluttering walls.

“Come for me, Princess,” he growls, biting down on your plush bottom lip.  Now it’s your turn to obey – you come with an arch of your back and a chorus sung to your General’s name, Din, Din, Din, Din.

Here you can be as loud for as long as you want and Din can fuck you through your high for as long as you need, withdrawing his fingers and licking them clean only when your cunt is complacent enough to release him, “Always taste so sweet, cyar’ika.”  You sigh at the filthy sounds of another forbidden sight you long, lust for.

Lips finding his again, you taste yourself on Din’s tongue and tease, “I thought we were eating after.”

This time it’s Din’s turn to act coy, repeating your question from earlier with a knowing smirk against your pout, “After what?”

In response, you reach between your bodies and even without the benefit of sight, easily find Din’s hard, throbbing cock.  Stroking his length with your delicate hands, you lift to line him up with your entrance and wordlessly sink down, “After you come, General.”

“As you wish, Princess,” Din groans at the way your pussy hugs him.  When you feel him shift beneath you to plant his feet on the bottom of the tub, you stop Din with a hand on his wide chest and shake your head, “You’re tired and your body needs rest, my love.  Let me do the work.”

Big, loving hands come up to cradle your head and a playful but reverent tone accompanies Din’s protest, “A General’s duty is to serve his Princess.”  You tilt into his paw and nuzzle; your Mandalorian’s affectionate touch and the feeling of fullness combine in making you compliant.  Leaning in close you ghost over Din’s lips, “Together then.”

Half awestruck, half groaning in agreement, Din slides his hands back down your soft body to come to a rest on your waist, holding you gentle and secure, “Together.”

It’s easy to find the perfect rhythm, your bodies already so in tune with one another.  Din’s slow upward thrusts meet your lighter bounces halfway, causing the water of your bath to ripple and splash against the sides of the tub.  It’s tender and patient until it isn’t – with no communication other than your soft whinnying and Din’s grunts and heavy breathing, your tempo and intensity remain matched, building together. 

Always together.  How you love being together with your Mandalorian.  How you love him.

You press yourself to Din, the rise and fall of his chest grounding you as your hips work in tandem with his.  Arms snaking around his neck, you cling to the General as your joint movements become more fervent and passionate, the water now choppy from your lovemaking.

Together.  Everything is better when you’re together.  You were able to get through today, together.

Love, relief and gratitude flood your pleasure wracked body as you crawl up Din’s broad mountain frame to find his lips.  Latching your mouth to your Mandalorian’s, you kiss him heady and desperate.  Every press of your plush and swollen pout thankful for his survival, of today’s fight and of all the fights that came before today so that he could come into your life.  A thank you to maybe that same mystical force that gives Grogu his unexplainable powers, for making the man that fills you so full at the moment the warrior, the father, the man is.  Thankful that he loves you.  For all of him.

Din meets every brush of your lips with the same devotion, somehow able to read the emotion behind your eyes without seeing them - the same way you’re able to read him even when he’s hidden behind his helmet.  He himself grateful for bringing his son and your countrymen back to you safe, for being the one to give you what you needed for the success of your mission.  A thank you to that same power than runs in his son’s veins and makes him a warrior far stronger than Din could ever be, for bringing him to you.  Grateful that a woman as regal, compassionate, and kind as you saw past his hard armoured exterior to the man beneath and holds him in your esteem.  And in your heart.

“Ni kar'tayl darasuum gar,” Din growls with a deep rumble of his chest that echoes off the walls.  I love you.

“Ni kar'tayl darasuum gar,” you cry back in the perfect pronunciation that Din taught you.  I love you.

Neither of you able to hold back your love for one another nor the crest of your bodies any longer – coming together, lyrical song sung loud and shameless.  The Princess and the General have nothing to hide here, tonight.

Later, after you’ve each eaten and drank your fill of Falvian fruits and wine, and you’ve massaged and kneaded Din’s sore muscles until you’re satisfied with the way his aches have melted away, Din guides you, still blindfolded, out of the cooled bath to the bed.

With Din protectively hovering over your naked body ready to take you again, you realize that as thankful as you’ve been feeling, you haven’t actually acknowledged those sentiments out loud to the man to whom you owe everything, “Thank you, Din.  Thank you for being the might of the realm.”

Though he knows you cannot see them, Din’s eyes fill with a love he hopes he can properly convey in other ways, “No need to thank me, cyar’ika, it will always be my honour to fight for you.  You must know - you are the might of the realm.  The realm prospers and remains strong because its Princess is brave, smart, good.  You’re everything, mesh’la.  You’re my might – I can only do the things I can because I do them for you.  I would do anything for you.”

You feel the scarf you wear across your eyes dampen as it absorbs your tears, “I know, Din.”  Happy, content, you welcome your General between your legs once more; and with the rare luxury of time and freedom that the two of you have been gifted tonight, you know it won’t be the last time.

[erinwantstowrite]

Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear

[angel-of-the-moons]

I need to make a request where dom!reader pegs sub!Johnny Cage, I need him so bad its not even funny anymore

Pegging Johnny? In my house? It's more likely than you think!

Fresh Act

Johnny Cage x Fem!Reader

TW/CW: NSFW, smut, sex toys, pegging, cumshot, Johnny whines when he's pegged you can't change my mind, slight spanking, recording, mentions of handcuffs, plugs, vibrators, fisting

MINORS DNI I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR CONTENT YOU CONSUME

A/N: pls don't look at me because of those tags asdfghjkl

💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

Johnny Cage was many things. An actor, a fighter, a champion, and now a director.

But there was one thing you knew he was that you were sure nobody else did--even his ex-wife, Cris--was that Johnny Cage was a bottom.

The energy this man exuded, the charisma and confidence would make anybody think that he was the boss in the bedroom.

But nope.

It was you.

Oh, how Johnny loved it when you would cuff his hands to the bed and just edge him for hours, especially if you straddled his thighs while he had a plug in--a pretty little shiny one with a cute green gem in the base--and you had some sort of vibrating implement to his cock.

Double that if you used one of those vibrating stroking toys.

But something you hadn't even thought about, surprisingly... was pegging. Let alone filming the two of you while you did it. You'd heard too many horror stories of celebrity sex tapes being leaked online and you weren't sure you could handle the thought of you (and Johnny) in such a vulnerable position.

The tabloids would eat you both up.

But having Johnny sit at the edge of your bed, shirtless, wearing sweats that hung far too low on his hips, sporting a rather happy and aching erection; and in his hand was a strap and a harness he ordered online, his phone in the other.

"So... Like. Cris would never humor me with this sort of thing. She didn't like it, but I thought if I brought it up with you..." He said.

And, god, his face has the cutest, most ridiculous set of puppy dog eyes he's tried with you yet. He almost made you cave instantly.

Almost.

"Johnny." You sigh, rubbing your forehead as you looked down at him. "Honey, I mean the dildo is one thing, but the camera?"

"Okay, I can totally take this." He said, shaking said object in his hand.

He changes it up and wiggles his phone instead, now. "And this? The video will just be for me n' you, Kitten. I promise. I'm really just gonna keep it when I need you but you're not with me. Like on set."

You couldn't help but chuckle at him with a huff. Yeah, of course he masturbated while on set. Johnny was the kind of guy to do that, after all.

"And how do you know you can take it, hm?" You ask, pointing to the dildo.

He makes a sideways grin and tilts his head, looking off to the side. "Well..."

"Johnny..."

"Okay, okay!" He laughed, leaning back on his elbows, his sweats stretching and emphasizing the outline of his dick. Your eyes flicked down his body to eye it for a few seconds, and the way his grin widened irritated you.

He was getting uppity with you again, trying to push your buttons. And you knew it.

You knew he knew it.

You cross your arms and narrow your eyes at him, pushing your breasts up just a bit.

"So, you know how I've been stressed about the new scenes on set? Yeah, so I've been experimenting with this and, well... I mean it's a bit bigger than the one I use--"

"So what I'm hearing is you've been keeping toys a secret from me." Your finger begins to tap your arm impatiently.

The way his eyes nervously dart around as he struggles to find words sends a delicious thrill through your body.

"Er, well, I..." He coughs. "Well don't think of it as hiding so much as... er. Waiting to surprise you?"

You scoff and slowly crawl over him, your leg between his thighs and intentionally pressing against his throbbing cock.

You apply a bit of pressure and tilt your head, your expression cold and calculating as he bites his lip and breathes hard through his nose.

"Sounds to me like you're making excuses." You state flatly.

The bobbing of his throat sealed his fate.

"Safeword?"

"Peaches."

"Want me to push it?" You ask, your hand sliding over his thigh, the tip of your thumb just barely tracing the side of his cock.

"Not tonight, but if I get overwhelmed I'll tell you." He says, licking his bottom lip as your thumb pressed against him with more pressure.

You slowly grin at him. "You said I can't push it, so I won't hurt you. But seriously, let me know if it's too much."

"I will, babe." He says as you kiss his lips softly.

"Kay. Now get naked and on all fours."

"Fffuuuck...." He groaned deeply.

"Johnny..." You say, your voice lashing with ice.

"Yes ma'am."

"Good boy." You purr. "Now do what I said or I'll just cockwarm you all night with no relief."

💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵💵

Being with Johnny had allowed an inner demon of yours to come out. One you had no idea you were keeping locked up inside of you.

And boy, did she crave topping and dominating someone. And Johnny was more than happy to be that someone.

Setting up the camera took a bit of time, you let Johnny get up when you were struggling with positioning and lighting. After all, you wanted the both of you to look good in your homemade sex tape.

Once you were both satisfied with the way it was set up, you had Johnny get back into position, his cock jutting out between his legs, twitching and proud, his thighs were tense with excitement and his balls were nice and heavy from the edging you gave him.

Maybe next time you'd put him in a band, or a nice tight cock ring while you did this to him.

Next time.

Right now you had your bottom lip sucked between your teeth, chewing on it as you watched him shake with anticipation.

You palm his ass cheek firmly, giving him a soft squeeze; the latex on your fingers squeaking softly. "Now, Johnny... Here's a few rules. You have to keep yourself propped up. You're not allowed to touch yourself. I'll let you know when you can cum. If you do it before I say..."

You reach and squeeze his balls softly, earning a shaky whimper from him.

"I'm putting you in a Cage, Johnny." You grin maliciously. "Understood?"

The way his head shook had your heart yearning to just pull him back and kiss him stupid.

But already he was forgetting the game.

You give him another squeeze, just barely above pain.

"Johnny..." You scold.

"Yes ma'am." He wheezed.

You release him and give his ass an affectionate pat. "Good boy."

You hum as you grab the bottles of lube--one of several-- from the heating pad you had them resting on. There was one thing you knew almost nobody liked, and that was cold lube.

And it was always good to have a ton of lube on hand. No matter what, every time you think you have enough, you use more. For everyone's comfort.

And despite Johnny's assurances that he's had a dildo up his ass before, you wanted to have all your bases covered. You didn't want to hurt him unless he wanted it. Spanking or slapping or biting was one thing, but fucking his ass with inadequate levels of lube or prep could result in a hospital trip in the worst case scenario...

You popped the cap and spread his cheeks, slowly dribbling the clear liquid straight down onto his asshole, using one finger to tease the puckered flesh with an idle hum still in your voice as he sucked in a tight breath as your gloves finger massaged his tight, velvety walls.

You both agreed that for this situation, it was smart to wear some latex gloves so your nails wouldn't scratch his delicate insides. After all, even you used gloves when you fingered yourself, sometimes; having claws scratching up your lady bits was uncomfortable and could lead to infections.

"You good, Johnny?" You ask him gently.

"Y-yeah." He whimpered and quickly corrected himself. "Yes, ma'am. Ugh. You..."

He dropped his head and his upper body heaved with heavy breaths as he composed himself.

"You can use more than one."

Your brow quirked and you smiled impishly. "You want me to?"

"Please."

"Okay, baby." You murmur, pulling your finger out of his ass and holding your hand up, dripping a copious amount of lube on your first three fingers. You didn't want him too tight when you fucked him with the strap, and besides... teasing him was always part of your game.

Sometimes you wanted him so strung out he would cum from a puff of air. You wouldn't go so far tonight, you wanted him to cum on that hefty silicone dick of yours.

The groan that came from his throat as you eased your fingers inside of him made your clit twitch against the straining leather of the harness, your wet cunt already causing some nice slippery friction that stimulated you, too.

Johnny had thought of everything for this, he had the harness designed custom just for you and him, he had it made so if you wanted, you could have a vibrator stuck into a pouch in the front to stimulate your clit alongside the soft bump that rubbed against you with every movement you made, making your nipples pebble and goosebumps raise along your skin.

You twisted and pressed your fingers in every angle you could manage until Johnny collapsed down onto his elbows with a small moan.

You halt your fingers entirely and pull them out until just the tips of them remained inside, frowning down at your mega-star boyfriend.

"Johnny..."

He swallowed audibly and hauled himself back up onto shaky palms, his shoulders tense from the strain and effort.

And he thought planking was hard...

"That's my boy." You chuckle, thrusting your fingers back inside, curling them in a "come hither" manner, stroking his walls gently and oh so sweetly.

You bite your lip and move your hips closer, until your strap on was pressed against the underside of his cock and balls, giving external stimulation as you fucked his ass with your hand.

You were tempted to see if he could take the whole thing, but like your earlier thoughts you saved that idea for later.

You twist your hand downward as you look at the phone you and Johnny had set up, facing you with the front-facing camera, the ring light illuminating you two wonderfully. The energy of your bedroom and the candles lit provided a gorgeous backdrop for this; and the way you could actually see how Johnny looked on all fours, his eyes squeezed shut and biting his lip in concentration as sweat dripped down his forehead made your hips thrust against his in an automatic reaction.

He made a short gasp as your silicone cock grinded against his, pressing against his full balls while your fingers angled down, dangerously close to his prostate but not close enough to give hime spine-tingling relief.

You made a mental note to buy a custom stroker that you could shove alongside his cock, next time. You'd love to see him on his back as you grounded and stroked your cock alongside his, watching him come in thick ropes up his well-toned abs... maybe you'd have him lick your toy clean afterwards.

God, he was your inner demon's muse. He was so good at giving you ideas with just those pathetic little moans and whimpers of his.

"Look at you," You coo down at him. "Taking my hand so good."

You knew he could probably cum just like this, lazily stroking his hips against you, his cock sliding against yours as your fingers pumped in and out of him, stretching his hole out nice and wide for you.

But no, if he was gonna cum, it was gonna be while you fucked him hard with that goddamn strap-on he wanted so badly.

You pulled away all at once without warning, his ass twitching and empty at the loss of you. He looked over his shoulder at you, not voicing his question--because he knew he'd be punished if he got impatient--and his brows were creased pathetically in a silent plea for you to continue.

You acted like you didn't notice, humming a little tune as you poured what was left of the bottle of lube you were using on the dildo. You grabbed another warmed up bottle and applied more, stroking it with your fingers, trailing over the life-like silicone; the veins prominent and the foreskin creased as you pulled back like a real cock.

Fuck, you almost wished you had one, just to know how he'd feel all snug around you.

You rolled your hips into your touch, giving yourself some friction and making small moans--some for show, some genuine--as your clit bumped and rolled against the raised indent on the inside of the harness, more slick gushing from your wanting cunt.

You barely glimpsed at him out of the corner of your eyes, looking at him as he watched you, his eyes practically glistening with tears as he watched you slowly get yourself off, leaving him bereft and craving.

You were merciful and turned back to him, pouring more lube into his ass that was still clenching around air, waiting for you.

You pressed the tip against him, relishing in how his whole body seemed to go still as death as he waited.

But nothing happened.

You tapped the head of the toy against his waiting hole, "Remember. Use the safeword, and if you cum before I say, you're in trouble."

"Yes ma'am." He sighed, his voice watery and knees weak. "Please."

"Alright." You say, your tongue clicking as you press harder, the tip popping right into his asshole with wondrous ease, making you moan involuntarily at the mere sight as his hands bunched the expensive sheets, his cock leaking fresh, heavy drops of his precum.

"Fuck." He groaned as you eased in, inch by torturous inch.

"Doing s' good for me, baby." You praise as the toy is swallowed by his hungry body. "Takin' my cock so good. Next time I'm gonna have you ride it, m'kay?"

"Yes--fuck--please." He whined loudly, his spine arching and head tipping back as you finally bottomed out.

You rested there, letting the weight of the strap rest in his guts, getting snug and comfortable as his insides contorted around its shape, committing it to memory.

Cris was fucking stupid for not doing this to him. He was fucking gorgeous all split open and trembling for you, his muscles quivering as your spread your hand, palm down and fingers splayed while you slid it up his back, feeling just how sweaty he got.

"Gonna start moving." You tell him as you pull back; not quite as slow as when you were pushing in, but you were being gentle for him.

Just this once.

After that? Fuck, you were relentless.

You would roll your hips like you did when you rode his cock, gyrating and slapping against his ass as the stimulation from the harness pushed you closer and closer to your own orgasm while you fucked him.

You drove in and in, and in and in more and more, the tip of the dildo stabbing him in a way that he never managed on his own. God, Johnny wanted to badly to grip and tug his cock, to stroke himself so he could just cum already, but he remembered your rules and your promise to really make him suffer if he did what you expressly told him he couldn't.

All he could do was mumble and babble things almost incoherently, rolling his hips back against yours, his ass slapping audibly against your sweaty skin, the sound of your false cock lewd and wet as you buried yourself again and again, pile-driving the air out of his lungs with every punch of your hips.

"Fuck." You whined softly, feeling the flames of your own release began to creep up your spine, your blood turning to molten lava as the friction from the harness against the swollen bud of your clit makes your nerves light up and your brain almost forget what you were doing as you mindlessly chase your own release; your puffy lips and slick cunt gushing so much it feels like you could drown him if his face were in-between your legs, the clear, sticky juices dripping down your thighs as your hips snap up against his while you cum, your hands gripped tight on his hips to ground yourself.

As the haze of your orgasm ebbed and your hot slick dribbled down the skin of your inner thighs, you remember that you were buried all the way inside of Johnny's ass.

You smile, feeling a little guilty that you got so consumed in the moment that you'd neglected and forgot all about your whimpering and squirming boyfriend beneath you.

He hasn't said the safeword yet, and he has been good. Almost unusually, for him, to behave so well in bed. Sometimes he lived for your little punishments.

So, you decided to extend the olive branch of mercy yet again as you pull out, and angle your hips so you can press the tip against his prostate.

"Go on ahead 'n cum for me, baby." You coo at him, your voice becoming only slightly rough as you plowed full steam into his ass, relishing in the noises he made as he rocked shamelessly against you, the sweetest most pathetic noises coming from his cute lips alongside your name.

When Johnny Cage cums, he does so with his entire body, trembling, gripping, thrusting, arching... He does it all, puts his whole body into the effort of letting you know that he's at his limit and you've brought him there.

Hot, thick ropes of white shoot from the weeping and sensitive tip of his cock as you help him ride it out, smiling in amusement as he essentially rides you from below as he collapses his upper body down against the pillows, drooling just a little bit as his brain slowly kicks back on.

You could swear you could hear the dial-up internet sounds coming from his mind as you pull the dildo out of him.

"That good, huh?" You tease playfully.

"So, so good." He groans, rolling onto his back, just off to the side of the mess he made in the satiny sheets.

You hum in acknowledgement as you undo the clasps and buckles of the harness, turning the heating pad with the lube off as you set the harness and toy atop it.

You lean down and grab Johnny by his jaw, bringing his lips to yours in a heavy, loving and desperate kiss as his hands smooth up your back and down again, kneading and pulling the cheeks of your ass apart.

"Mmh. Again?" You murmur against his lips.

"As much as I'd love to do that again, I need some time to warm up, Kitten." He chuckles at you.

"But I can do that while you sit on my face, right?"

[fixyourwritinghabits]

Hi!

I've recently finished my first draft and I'm ready to get to work on the second.

My autism makes it hard to use those "tips and tricks" people usually have, so I thought about working out a step by step for myself instead, but I have no clue where to start?

Hope you can help or point me in the right direction, as I'm at my wits end.

I don't have any grand secrets, unfortunately. I've attempted to read many, many books on editing, trying to discover the secret that I appear to be missing, but none of them really helps. Note the big changes first, they say. Fix the little things after.

But when everything seems like it's a mess, I don't know how to distinguish between big fixes and small ones. In the end, everything needs to be fixed, and I just have to slog through. However, there are some things that work for me, as frustratingly slow as they can be:

First make sure you're ready to edit.

Sometimes you have to trunk that book for a lot longer than you think. You have to give your brain a long enough break from it in order for new ideas to be formed. Put it away, as long as you can, and give your brain a break. Coming to your story fresh is the best way to start.

This doesn't sound like it works, and believe me, the temptation to dive right back into the book after a week or so is high, but give yourself decent break. Read some books, watch some movies. Shake up those weary creative drives in your brain for up to a month or more before you take another crack at it.

(If you're not tackling a large product, you can wait for a shorter period of time, probably. The longer the book or novel, the more of a rest you should have. If you're writing a fanfic chapter by chapter, the temptation to post immediately is high. Don't do it! Let it rest for a couple of days before reviewing it. You'll thank yourself later.)

Have an outline.

If you didn't start with an outline while drafting, laying out your plot where you can see it will really help you figure out what threads need strengthening. My favorite technique is flashcards and sticky notes that have a short summary of the chapter or scene. Both can be easily rearranged, removed, or shuffled about.

If you have a multiple POVs, color-coding your chapters can help you lay out how much progress each character has made and what areas of the story might need shoring up.

Another thing that can be of help is reworking character sheets or notes. I've been struggling with a particular character who I adore, but who's motivation I've been having trouble nailing. For this draft, I've been able to figure out what the thorn in their side was and write a much stronger story for them as a result.

Slog through from the beginning.

Yes, some people can dive right into those problem areas. Boo to those people, I say. Boo. For me, the only thing that works is to start from the beginning and work through each chapter at a time. Yes, this does involve getting stuck on how to fix things. There is a lot of dramatic lying on floors and pestering my completely bewildered cat when I hit a wall.

But starting at the beginning allows me to see where I need to slot in elements I only started to figure out later in the book. It allows me to weave in foreshadowing and pick up subplots at the right places, rather than throwing them in when I think of them. This method may mean you'll have redraft a few times, and yes, I have to start from the beginning each time. But it does work, even if it takes time.

Just don't ask how many drafts I've done of this damn book I'm working on.

[vidavalor]

Hi my dear! 😇😈 I've been enjoying reading your metas recently - the one about the kiss is fascinating. I'd been thinking about how the Metatron seemed rather devilish and saw other theories with that theme. 🤓😎 Another one is that maybe Aziraphale and Crowley did a body swap or, like you said, mixed essences. It's all really interesting and I'm looking forward to seeing which type of theory is the closest to canon! I had a giggle in the kiss meta at the line about a Derek Jacobi character skulking around with a creepy coffee 😆. I was wondering something - you referred to a past meta you wrote outlining the clues of Metatron really being Satan, is that the one called "the devil takes the hindmost", or is it another one? Also because I saw that one is mainly about Aziraphale having a breakdown and you mention the Metatron being the devil in that too. So can you link the Devil/Metatron one for me please? Thank you very much! 💜🩵🩷

Hi there, @queentorizira! Happy weekend! Thanks for reading & I'm happy you're enjoying them.💕Glad you found some of that post humorous as I was going for a little lightness since that scene is also devastating. *slices up the Devil's Food Cake* I'd be happy to link you to some more on the Satan in The Final 15 topic.

In truth, a lot of my posts for awhile now have had different aspects of the idea that it is Satan in The Final 15, even if that isn't always the main subject, because I keep finding indications of it and I like looking at it from different angles. I haven't exhausted the topic yet because it kind of runs through everything. Besides what I'll link below, I'd say that if you like this topic, keep an eye out for posts still to come as well. You've said you read The Kiss, which has some of the elements of the theory in it, but there are posts that are focused on it a bit more. I'll link a bit of a variety below so you can choose which one(s) seem the most appealing.

The Devil Takes The Hindmost: Even though the main topic is about Aziraphale's mental health struggles in S2, that's actually connected to it being Satan in The Final 15, and how will become more clear as you're reading it. This post also gets into dialogue supporting the theory from Mrs. Sandwich, Mrs. Cheng and Mr. Brown and shows how The Meeting Ball has the characters acting out a teaching about "keeping The Devil at bay" that is, in my opinion, the whole story, and sets up Satan in The Final 15. I would start with this or with Wrong Boy (linked below) to get the main ideas.

Wrong Boy: Talks about the parallels of Warlock's birthday party & Crowley & Aziraphale having the identity of the antichrist kid wrong in S1 and The Meeting Ball & the "wrong boy" of S2 being that it's Satan, not The Metatron. This & The Devil Takes The Hindmost are probably the ones that outline the whole idea in full most completely; other posts look at different angles reinforcing these ideas.

The Maggie & Robbery Theme post: Talks about the weird behavior of Maggie in The Final 15 & what that could have to do with the Satan theory, as well as gets into the theme of robbery in S2 & how that relates to it as well. This also looks a bit at the scene where Creepy Coffee is glaring at Crowley as the Big Villain Music gears up and how that is more suggestive of it being Satan than it being The Metatron.

How S3 Could Start: Talks about how S3 could potentially start, using elements from how S1's finale is structured to support the idea of it having been Satan in The Final 15 of S2 & that setting up Aziraphale's fall in 3.01.

The S1 plots referenced in S2: How the references to the bookshop fire and Gabriel not knowing that it was Crowley and not Aziraphale he was looking at in 1.06 are both about identity and recognition and hinting that it's not The Metatron in The Final 15.

Crowley & Hastur in S1 mirroring/foreshadowing S2's The Final 15: Talks about how the scene in S1 in which Crowley pretends like Hastur has been promoted to entrap him is a mirror to what Satan & The Metatron are doing in The Final 15. (Short.)

Gabriel's Trial Video: About how luring Crowley up to see the "institutional problem" part of Gabriel's trial video is part of the villains' plan to squash Crowley's fears about Aziraphale falling to Hell if he were to be the Supreme Archangel and is The Metatron helping Satan out with his temptation of Aziraphale.

The Devil & The Theme of Recognition: What it says on the tin. 😂

Perfectly Splendid: About references to Mary Poppins in The Final 15 that are signaling that it's Satan and not The Metatron. (Short.)

Bodysnatching: Just basically pointing out Crowley's "My side's gonna love a spot of bodysnatching" in 1827 as foreshadowing of not the graverobbing type of bodysnatching but the horror movie type setting up Satan in The Final 15. (Very short.)

The Unauthorized, Unescorted Demon: Looks at Crowley's explanation of the angels-are-bees analogy to Muriel in Heaven and how the unauthorized, unescorted demon that has gotten into the beehive is really Satan in the bookshop in The Final 15. (Short.)

Gabriel's Hint in 2.01: Looks at how some of Gabriel's dialogue about recognition in 2.01 is telling the audience to be wary of trusting someone based on visual recognition alone. (Short.)

"You Aren't Trying to Trick Me, Are You?": The parallel between Crowley tricking Muriel into the elevator & The Final 15. (Very short.)

"Extremely Alcoholic Breakfast at The Ritz": Crowley unintentionally saying the end of S2 on one level of his euphemistic speak in front of Muriel. (Very short.)

The Cardboard Box: Looks at how the seemingly throwaway line of Dagon warning everyone that cardboard boxes are scary traps is hinting at Satan in The Final 15. (Short.)

The ties to the movie, Clue: My response to someone who liked the theory involved mentioning that the movie, Clue, and Aziraphale and his Clues in S2 are possibly, well, a Clue. (Short.)

The first post I wrote on the topic ages ago-- The Devil in Disguise-- is in the pinned post on my blog but there are a couple of minor details in it that I have changed my mind on since and I don't think it's the strongest post so I didn't include it here, even if it's technically the first one. Wrong Boy and The Devil Takes the Hindmost are much better at conveying the ideas.

Just to clarify something from your Ask-- I don't really have a mixed essences theory, in the sense that I don't think that they did anything successfully. I think the point is that it all fell apart. They will ultimately win in S3 but they very much did not win in S2. In every story, there's that time when the bad guys win a battle, if not the whole war, and that's what I think S2 is. We need our main characters to lose a little here so that there is story for them in S3.

That's really why I don't think that doing a body swap actually would have saved them from the threats this time around-- in those moments in The Final 15, anyway. They did one of sorts earlier in the season with swapping the car and the bookshop and, like I was saying in The Kiss post, I'm pretty sure that Aziraphale driving The Bentley created a Fly of sorts and is how the story can ultimately get around Aziraphale losing his memories, which seems likely to be right upon us in the story in 3.01.

I think the villains are really the ones taking a turn with mirroring a body swap in S2-- and it's really funny because Satan and The Metatron are the two characters who have the least amount of, ya know, body, of all of the ones on the show. We still haven't seen Satan in his true form-- he was basically some kind of vapor-like bit of matter the first time we saw him in 1.01-- and The Metatron is a floating head. But, look at 'em go, cobbling a body together and kids-stacked-in-a-trenchcoat-ing The Final 15 here. 😂 Gotta give 'em credit for getting their revenge by doing to Crowley and Aziraphale the same thing Crowley and Aziraphale did to escape them in S1. Pretty dastardly stuff, that. 😉

[lightandfellowship]

KHDR Re:Write - Giving Urd A More Prominent Character Arc

Hermod's rewrite can be found here.

The tl;dr:

Urd’s initial motivation: To explore the outside worlds and learn more about them.

Urd’s struggle: She realizes that when their mission ends, she will go back to her boring, normal life in Scala, once again forbidden to leave. This in conjunction with feelings of loneliness make her consider running away after their mission is complete.

Urd’s conclusion: The freedom to explore the worlds is still a motivating factor, but she realizes that protecting the worlds and sharing her experiences with her friends is her true desire, compelling her to stay in Scala and continue her training. Her loneliness can not be cured so easily, but her friends will help her work through it.

Below the read more is a rough outline of how I would implement this character arc into the story. Be forewarned that it's a fairly long and text-heavy post.

Four notes before we begin:

Rather than this being a full-fledged rewrite where I get to go ham and do whatever I want, instead my goal is to try and demonstrate how the game in its PRE-EXISTING state could have given Urd a more clear and satisfying character arc via fairly minor changes to the dialog, characters, and story. I want to see if this could have been possible without having to expend too much extra time and resources, since it seems like a lack of time/resources/budget is why her story got cut in the first place. So I won’t be doing anything drastic like creating entirely new episodes or anything like that. Same worlds. Same number of episodes. Same sequence of events. Same overarching plot.

Ideally, I would have liked to convey certain details about these characters and their story via secret reports/diary entries. Specifically, the sorts of details that would slow the pace down or feel a little too direct/clunky if addressed within the story itself. However, because of the self-imposed restriction I talked about in point 1 (i.e. no drastic alterations to the game or additions that would require extensive effort to implement), I won't be utilizing such a format, and so I will sometimes have the characters speak a bit more openly/directly about their feelings/thoughts than I otherwise would've liked.

Because I have a lot to say, I won't be providing summaries of the episodes I'm discussing as I explain my story changes. A fairly solid recollection of the game's events is...perhaps not required, but certainly helpful for understanding what I'm talking about and how I arrived at my choices.

I don't claim to know better than the writers or even be an experienced writer myself, this is just how I personally would approach giving Urd a more prominent character arc, because I think we can all at least agree that Urd didn't get enough focus in this game. If Urd's story hadn't been cut (presumably), I have no doubt that Tomoco Kanemaki would have come up with something better than what I'm proposing here.

But anyway, without further ado:

Urd's Motivation and Personality

During the flashback where the underclassmen explain their reasons for wanting to become Keyblade Masters, Urd says that it’s because she wants to explore the outside worlds and learn more about them. However, I feel that KHDR could do a better job of depicting this motivation throughout the game. Were it not for Urd directly stating her motivation in this scene, I don't think you could have ever reasonably guessed that this was her motivation based solely on her dialog and actions throughout the rest of the game.

She says her dream is to see the outside worlds for herself, and yet she rarely ever shows any particular interest in the Disney worlds that she does visit, or at least she’s no more interested than the rest of her friends are, which is to say: barely. It's a common gag/occurence throughout the game that the underclassmen are either disinterested or unsettled by the worlds and their inhabitants, and for whatever reason Urd is included in that. Sure, she’s on an important mission, but where’s the curiosity? Where’s the desire to learn more about the worlds? Shouldn’t that motivation bleed into her actions and dialog even a little bit? Even if she’s trying to reign herself back for the sake of the mission?

I think having Urd be just as indifferent/detached from the worlds as her friends is a misstep, personally. So in this rewrite, I am adjusting her personality a bit, in contrast to Hermod who doesn't really require any personality changes in order to have his arc make sense (to be discussed in his rewrite post). In short: I want her to be more excited and inquisitive in each world. I want her to be enamored by all the strange sights and sounds. I want her to get lost in thought as she analyzes some new find, her friends having to snap her back to reality and remind her of their mission. When the rest of the characters are awkwardly trying to ignore some oddity that's demanding their attention, I want Urd to be one of the few who actually shows genuine interest.

Like I mentioned, I know the characters are on an important mission and aren’t supposed to get sidetracked from their primary goal, but like, Vor and Eraqus were allowed to be curious and easily distracted by stuff, so I don't see why Urd couldn't as well, at least a little bit. I also think this personality change will provide more variety among the underclassmen, specifically in how they interact with the outside worlds.

Anyway, for the sake of not making this post any longer than it needs to be, I’m not going to list every dialog tweak that needs to occur in order to accomodate this personality change, just the most notable ones I can think of.

One last thing: it’s under-explored, but the game seems to suggest that Urd might be lonely. When remarking on how close Eraqus and Xehanort are, she says that she wishes she had a relationship like that herself. The implication seemingly being that she doesn’t feel like she has any best friends to share a special bond with. I think this desire for a friendship like Xehanort and Eraqus' may be further evidenced by the fact that she tends to tease Eraqus the most and is pretty friendly with him in a way that she isn't with the others, which makes me think that she's indeed jealous (in a nice way) of the relationship Xehanort has with Eraqus, and thus attempts to mimic their dynamic with Eraqus.

To me, Urd being lonely is too interesting of an emotional angle not to expand upon, even if the writers didn’t intend for her one-off comment to mean anything deeper. And I think her struggling with feelings of loneliness will synergize well with what I have in mind for her story.

Episodes 1-4: Establishing Urd's Character

The first dialog tweak: when Odin informs the class that they’re being sent on a mission to the outside worlds, in addition to Eraqus and Bragi expressing excitement at the news, I want Urd to be excited, too. She can still have her “Don’t sound so excited about it.” line, but maybe after she says that she makes her :3c face because she can’t hide her true feelings. Eraqus can reply with something like “Speak for yourself, Urd! Getting to see the outside worlds is a dream come true for you!”. Hermod and Eraqus can then have their usual lines of H: “Hey, this is serious! People are missing, you know!” and E: “Right. Sorry.”

As cool as the party member specific dialogs in Episode 3 can be, I’m dropping the mechanic where Episodes 1-3 let you choose your party member for the cutscenes. IMO, it's just bad for the story, because you can never focus on just one particular character and properly illustrate their unique personality; everyone's dialog has to be juuust generic enough to be easily swappable. Instead, in my rewrite, Urd is your assigned party member for Episode 1; perhaps she's even the one who requested to team up with Xehanort and Eraqus.

Not much happens in Episode 1 admittedly (it's mostly an exposition dump and premise setup), but in the very least it needs to establish and emphasize her love for exploration and learning. I think this can be easily achieved with the pre-existing Agrabah scenes. For example: when the party arrives to the outskirts of Agrabah and is attacked by Heartless, have Urd be disappointed that their first trip to the outside world was soured by their presence. When the party enters the abandoned city proper, have Urd express further disappointment that there’s no residents to interact with. Things like that. But obviously still have her be serious about their mission and the missing upperclassmen; she shouldn't seem selfish in her interests.

So Episode 1 is just kinda whatever, but It’s in Episode 2 that I definitely want her desire to learn and explore be in full force (she’s your primary party member for this episode as well. Which also synergizes with my Hermod rewrite—stay tuned for that, eventually). Everything in Wonderland is so strange and different and fascinating to her. The other characters find the world confusing and off-putting, but Urd finds it charming and unique. This does admittedly require Episode 2 to have some extra cutscenes/events since in the base game the only thing that really happens in this episode is the trial, and I think it’s still essential for Vor to be the party member in Episode 3 (where most of the Wonderland hijinks happen) since Vor doesn’t get much screentime in the second half of the game.

Two changes I would suggest: rather than the party waiting around indefinitely for the other underclassmen to show up to their meeting spot, and having the Cheshire Cat and Card Soldiers come to them, instead they get worried and decide to leave to go look for their friends, while running into these characters along the way. Then, take the tea party scene from Episode 3 and put it in Episode 2 instead, before the trial happens. You could even use this scene to foreshadow the trial by making it so that the White Rabbit fretting over his broken watch is because he doesn’t know what time it is and he fears that he’s going to be late for the trial. This will require some dialog tweaks in Episode 3 because the characters have an important discussion there that involves the Mad Hatter and March Hare, but it's nothing too hard to work around; maybe they just visit the tea party a second time, maybe they just bring up their interaction with them from Episode 2, or maybe they only talk about the Tweedles instead. There are multiple routes you could take to accomodate this change.

And rather than the Cheshire Cat directly telling the party that their friends are locked up, and the Card Soldiers mentioning the trial, instead I want the whereabouts of the other underclassmen to be more of a mystery that the party has to solve, with Urd being the one picking up on most of the clues just by being her inquisitive and observant self. Eraqus says it himself in some optional dialog that Urd has "always been good at figuring things out".

So ultimately, it’s Urd who realizes that the “trial” mentioned by the White Rabbit (because in this rewrite its the rabbit who mentions it instead of the soldiers), and the other “trespassers” mentioned by the Card Soldiers, are both in reference to their missing friends. (And maybe the Cheshire Cat gives the party a legit riddle too that they solve together, rather than being fairly straightforward in his hint like he is in the base game). Thus Urd paying attention and finding inherent worth in the strange and nonsensical world of Wonderland is what saves the day, her natural curiosity and collected knowledge about the world and its residents coming in clutch. This way, her motivations and personality can also be directly integrated into the plot rather than just being a character side story, and she gets the opportunity to shine, too.

And to tie in to the loneliness angle, I think some of the other underclassmen should be a little confused by Urd’s enthusiasm for the worlds they visit. Not in a mean or insulting or putting her down kind of way (they are friends!), but just a little at a loss for how to react when she expects them to understand her feelings and her point of view. The plot doesn’t need to highlight this too directly, just have Urd’s classmates being confused/unsure of something Urd says or shows them and then have Urd looking a little let down at their lukewarm reactions. Much like the underclassmen unintentionally leaving Vor out of stuff and underestimating her, I want this to be kinda subtle and under-the-radar. This would be mostly meant as set up for her arc later.

All that being said, I imagine Urd's loneliness isn't just because her friends don't always Get Her on a deeper level, it's also because she's not really open about her true feelings a lot of the time. Her official bio states that she's relied upon by the others, so perhaps she's too scared of burdening her friends with her own issues. However, relationships are a two-way street, and she's partially preventing herself from forming that close bond she desires because she isn't really letting herself lean on her friends when she needs them.

Episode 5: The Problem/Conclusion

So, to summarize, Episodes 1-2 need to establish her love for exploration and learning (and also give some brief glimpses at her loneliness) since she’s not present much in Episodes 3-4. Episode 5 is when her side story needs to officially complete. A rather quick arc, admittedly, but I think that’s what would work best in the framework of what the game gives us; the base game seems to suggest that her arc was supposed to end in this episode, anyway.

Events start to unfold when Urd realizes that once their mission is over, things will go back to normal and she will no longer be able to explore the outside worlds until she becomes a Keyblade Master. Something that might not occur for YEARS; heck, something that might not occur AT ALL if she fails her exam or if Scala's rules change. Thus, she starts to question whether she even wants to return home to Scala. What if, after their mission was over, she ran away? What if she got to explore to her heart’s content? She can’t imagine returning to her boring, normal life now that she’s gotten a taste of freedom. And maybe she can discover a way to cure her loneliness by finding fulfillment elsewhere? Perhaps it was Vor leaving in the previous episode that makes Urd realize that leaving is even an option.

Thus, in this rewrite, in Episode 5 when Lumiere offers Urd an invitation to stay in the castle, she actually seriously considers it. Of course Hermod and Xehanort are not happy to hear this, especially after what happened with Vor, and thus try to convince her to reconsider, but Urd is conflicted and doesn’t know what to do. She explains her concerns about being stuck in Scala forever, but is understandably reluctant to talk about how Eraqus and Xehanort’s strong bond has only reminded her of the closeness she desires and yet lacks. She loves her friends, but she doesn’t feel like she has a best friend who understands her on a deeper level, and she’s too scared of potentially hurting her friends’ feelings to admit this, so she keeps it to herself.

Xehanort doesn’t say it out loud, but he understands exactly the feeling of being stuck somewhere against your will and desiring connection and fulfillment in the outside worlds. He tells Urd that she should follow her heart on this. Hermod is taken aback and anguished at the situation, but doesn’t know what he can say to make Urd change her mind. They decide to just shelf the conversation for later so that they can focus on their mission of finding the culprits who stole the rose.

Vala witnesses this argument and decides to use what she's learned about Urd to her advantage (much like how Vidar witnessed Vor's conversation with the Mirror and then used that to his advantage). So when Vala finally approaches Urd, rather than trying to order Urd around (which didn’t make much sense as a tactic to begin with; that approach would have worked far better on Hermod, if you ask me) instead Vala tries to convince Urd that she can have the freedom she wants if she joins Vidar’s crew. She can explore to her heart’s content, with the benefit of having comrades at her side to keep her safe on her journey rather than having to run away and travel alone.

Vala, perhaps through her ambigious "vision" abilities, also correctly guesses about Urd's loneliness and tries to appeal to Urd’s desire to be understood by claiming that she and Urd are very much the same. They are both level-headed, analytical individuals who crave knowledge, and sometimes people are just too blind in their pre-existing beliefs to understand their (Urd + Vala's) "vision" of the world. However, Urd is unsure. She still doesn’t understand what Vidar is trying to accomplish, and as much as she wants to run away and find meaning elsewhere, if securing her freedom means having to harm the worlds alongside the upperclassmen, then she doesn’t want to do it. Plus, the thought of traveling the worlds with the upperclassmen rather than with her friends doesn’t sit right with her, despite everything.

Much like in the base game, Xehanort eavesdrops on this conversation, but this time Hermod has tagged along as well. In the base game, Xehanort alone eavesdropping on Urd and Vala doesn't really lead to much in the story as far as I can tell, because Urd reveals her conversation with Vala in the very next episode. I think this might be a dropped plot thread where Xehanort was supposed to sit on this secret information for a while longer before acting on it somehow, but in any case, it's no longer necessary for my rewrite, thus Hermod is now here as well. Perhaps Hermod initially tries to approach Urd right away, but Xehanort pulls him back and convinces him to stay in the shadows in the hopes that Vala will reveal something important about Vidar's plans.

As they eavesdrop on the conversation, they finally learn of Urd’s secret loneliness, and see that Vala might successfully persuade Urd to leave them just like Vidar did with Vor. Hermod simply can't let this happen, and so against Xehanort's wishes he bursts into the room, interrupting Urd and Vala’s conversation to grab Urd’s hands and tell her how much she means to him and their friends. He doesn’t invalidate her feelings, but apologies for making her feel so lonely. He never meant to make her feel like she was different or weird for her interests; he may not always understand her, but he thinks she’s amazing and brilliant. And he’s willing to help her in any way he can and support her in whatever she decides to do. Perhaps he and Xehanort even bring up how her interest in the worlds was essential to saving their friends in Episode 2, to show her that she's valuable and appreciated.

Hermod's impassioned and sincere speech along with her own misgivings about Vala's offer help Urd realize two important things. One, that she enjoys exploring the worlds so much precisely because she gets to share that experience with her friends; it wouldn’t be the same without them. Yes, maybe there’s still this feeling of loneliness inside of her, and maybe she still wishes that her friends and her were more on the same page about certain things, but sharing a laugh, fighting by their side, and just getting to spend time with them are still precious experiences for her, and not to mention, her loneliness would be so much worse if she didn’t have her friends by her side at all. It’s not perfect, but she still loves them dearly, and she knows they love her back. And who knows, maybe they’ll be able to help her work through her feelings now that the cat's out the bag.

The second thing she realizes, is that exploring and learning about the worlds and its people, though a big part of her motivation, is ultimately secondary to wanting to protect the worlds and its people. Which is what being a Keyblade Master is all about, really; a goal that can only be achieved by staying in Scala and continuing her training. And a goal that would certainly be jeopardized by assisting the upperclassmen.

I imagine Urd directly talking about at least some of her thought process here when she refuses Vala's offer and explains to her why, but the rest should probably just be implied. In any case, these two realizations make her change her mind about running away. As she says to Lumiere later:

Her home is with her friends in Scala, and she has the important responsibility of protecting the worlds she holds so dear.

And when Urd says “[The Beast’s] wish will come true, I know it.” she’s implicitly including herself in this statement. She knows she’ll gain her freedom one day and form the bonds she's looking for, she just has to be patient and believe in herself. Additionally, I want this line to now invite comparisons between the Beast and Urd: the Beast, lonely, trapped inside his castle, wishing for a genuine connection, ignorant of how he is surrounded by servants who love him unconditionally; and Urd, stuck in her little world of Scala, wanting to find fulfillment in the worlds outside, feeling distant from her friends despite them loving her deeply. Oh, and, perhaps Urd telling the servants to help keep the Beast's spirits up could parallel how Urd is now going to allow herself to rely on her friends for emotional support.

Finally, to make her untimely demise a bit more of a gut punch, I think it’d be fitting if Urd got to have some dying words. Maybe something like “But I never...got to...” Got to what? Become a Keyblade Master? See all her friends one last time? Explore all the worlds? Who knows, she doesn’t get to finish. That’s for your imagination to decide.

And yeah, that's my pitch. Thanks for reading this far. If you have any feedback, ideas, or criticisms, feel free to add on.

[bellaxgiornata]

Do you have any tips for people who really enjoy writing fanfiction but struggle to actually get themselves to write it? Like I love writing specific scenarios in my head (mainly because that’s what I really want to read but no one else has written that yet) but I struggle to actually just get the motivation to do it, so my ideas just stay in my brain as a “I want to write this” and then the interest dies off and it never gets written.

I completely understand this feeling so much. Before I started writing in the Daredevil fandom I often just daydreamed in-depth scenarios in my head. I usually wanted to write them into stories but then I just...never did it. Even though I have been writing different fanfics in different fandoms for a really long time, I more often than not just created up scenarios that lived in my head and then that was it because I never wrote them down. So nothing ever came of them and I was never able to share them with anyone. I could have written so many more things if I'd just sat down and tried.

(As always, I'm long winded so more below the cut 😅)

In all honesty when this happens, I think the best thing to do is just that. Just sit down in front of a blank document and free write whatever comes to you. Take the pressure off of yourself first and foremost, though--you don't have to share whatever comes out with anyone. Don't tell yourself that it has to be good, either. Have literally zero expectations for whatever ends up on the page. More often than not, that really helps the words start to flow. When you sit there and nitpick how you're starting a sentence or a scene or a word choice, that's when you start second guessing everything and that can often lead to thoughts like "I can't do this" or "no one will read this" or the classic "I suck at this" (which I still hear in my head some days). Ignore all that bullshit and just focus on whatever it is that's in your head--a conversation between some characters, maybe an entire scene you've had playing out in your mind, a fight scene, or whatever it is that you're currently excited about. Just sit down and try to get it out with no expectations. Because you can absolutely always come back to it and edit it up how you want after the fact and make it into a story or a one shot or whatever if you want, but the hardest part is just getting something out on a page.

But truthfully, the only way to write something is to make yourself sit down and do it. I don't know of any other tips to give besides that. Sure, you can make a playlist or a mood board for the vibe of a story or a character. You can make outlines of what you're seeing in your head that'll give you bullet points of what you picture happening. But really you just have to get excited enough about whatever it is that's on your mind and write it. And I think that's part of the beauty of writing fanfic when you do share it and people interact with it. The commentary and interaction from readers is what helps keep the excitement for a story alive for the writer, which then gives us that necessary motivation to keep coming back to work on a story. Because any writer will tell you that sitting down and getting the words out is hard. Some days it sucks and you have to slog through it to keep going, but that's just a part of the process. Over time it becomes a habit, though.

Hopefully any of that somewhat helped, but unfortunately there isn't some magic answer to make it easier to get started. Having other writers to talk to about your ideas really helps, too. Or just someone to talk with/at about whatever is on your mind. Breaking an entire fic idea into chunks chapter by chapter helps if you're making a big story, but just picking a starting point and writing it is your best bet. I actually first wrote the entirety of Marci and Fog's wedding for FFTD and then worked my way backwards afterwards to start that huge ass series. It all started with those two installments and the idea/scene in my head that I didn't get to until "The Breaking Point" far later. So you can absolutely just start with an idea and expand on it. But unfortunately, you kind of just have to force yourself to start somewhere 😅

[highlordofkrypton]

Writing - Drafting Process

Clearly, I am avoiding actually writing by talking about writing. I was thinking about the drafting process today, and maybe this can help someone! For me, this process applies specifically to long stories to which I already know the conclusion, not my oneshots or update-as-I-go fics.

Honestly, I only found out that I write this way after my first fanfic. It's something that I do naturally, but with all the fun writing discussions I got to participate in lately, it was a fun exercise to actually break down what I do. It might sound daunting, but I promise that it's not as formal as you think!

I'm absolute a ✨vibes✨ writer, the drafting process is mostly for consistency and making sure I get to the end!

There are many ways to write, so for those who might still be looking for their process or those looking for something new, hopefully this can inspire you.

DRAFT 0: OUTLINE

For larger stories, I always get a surge of inspiration. I usually create a DUMP document where I dump all my ideas. At the very top of the document, I create an outline with the major story segments and then whenever I think of a scene, I add into that outline.

For example, my outline for my ACOTAR Prequel was created in chronological order, but also by location.

I would also start by adding:

The scenes that come to mind and I have muse to write

The necessary scenes that are either fundamental to character development or plot development

The transitional scenes

So, in that order, I can get a pretty decent idea of what I need to get done.

I also always make character sheets when I write. Not in a formal way, but just a page where I dump anything that I wrote in the story so I remember word for word what I said. That or I'll color code highlight, but a character dump is easier.

It's absolute chaos, but I prefer ideas to be as raw as possible. I'm an emotional writer, so I want to be reminded of it the way it came to me.

DRAFT 1: SKELETON /JUST WRITE

The writing starts here for me. The goal is to just write. Don't think, don't question, just write and depending on what medium you're using, drop a comment with notes for your future self to come back to. Sometimes, I'll even add a line between sections that I don't want to write to say "COME BACK AND INSERT TRANSITIONAL SCENE", highlight it or mark it in red.

More often than not, I'll start by writing out the scenes that appear in my mind vividly. For example, in Wildflowers, the first scene I ever wrote was actually Chapter 4. I knew that I wanted to write out Hybern Castle and if you read the scene completely, it was barely edited because it came to me so strongly.

Then, once I've finished writing the "muse driven" scenes, I start writing by importance.

Do not worry about about fleshing out the story. That will come later.

If I'm struggling with finishing, then I usually tag in a beta reader who's job at this point is to answer one question and one question only: "Is this good?" I think a more accurate phrasing would be -- Am I on the right track for this story? I'll do another post for how I work with my beta.

DRAFT 2: FLESH OUT THE STORY

At this point, I only focus on the story and character development. Don't worry about the little details. For long stories, I might choose to print the story out because it helps refresh and reset my brain. It's also easier to read/annotate hundreds of pages this way.

Read through your story once.

Add notes to where you feel the story needs to flow better, either add transitional scenes, or something that need to add or hinder to your character.

Write out the scenes.

Bring in the beta and ask: "Story-wise, is there anything missing? Is there anything about the character that needs to be clarified?"

For example, a question that came up for Wildflowers is why would Tamlin be different from his abusive father and his siblings? He wasn't. Not at the beginning. He would have been raised to look down on humans, so in the second draft, I went back and thought of scenes that would help inform his choice to empathize with humans.

DRAFT 3: SELECTIVE READ / EDITING

Calling this draft 3 is tentative because you may choose to do multiple drafts of this section. Once I've gotten most of the story down, I will pick one element that I want to focus on editing. I will do a read through and annotate what needs to be fixed for each "element".

For example, I might want to check the consistency of the character physical descriptions, so I will read once focusing ONLY on pieces of writing that contain that. Then, maybe I wanna go back and make sure Rhysand's voice is sassy enough. Another read through focusing ONLY on his dialogue.

I find this method is really great because it allows you to work on that specific element rather than getting overwhelmed with everything to fix.

These are what I usually read through if you're looking for ideas:

Character descriptions

Lore elements

Dialogue

Smut

Show vs. Tell

Tense (past vs. present)

Relationship depth (especially for side characters)

One would think this is where I would add foreshadowing but I'm not that organized of a writer. Again, I just go with the ✨vibes✨ and it usually works out.

DRAFT 4: FINAL EDIT

I call this the final edit because I will probably write forever if you let me. In this draft, I focus on proofreading, grammar, sentence structure and clarity of the writing itself.

Yes, there are typos that usually escape and haunt you forever especially if you're a binder like me.

I also get my beta to help me with this as a second set of eyes, especially to give me feedback on stylistic choices.

I don't know if this helped anyone, but this was fun to write! I like doing guides and thinking about stuff, so yeah, this is usually my process. It takes about 2-3 months if I'm locked and loaded focus-wise.

Let me know if you have questions, I'm happy to help!

[thevalkyriesshadow]

Writing tag game by @bonecarversbestie !

Describe your writing process from idea to posting/publishing?

My ideas: I'm often inspired by moodboards, pinterest images, writing prompts I see on tumblr, movies and shows I watch...inspiration is everywhere! I also try and write things I'm familiar with or things I have interest in. It makes the research part more entertaining and engaging! Once I get an idea I play out the story in my head for a few days before I'm sure I like the possibilities of the story...if I really like the idea I get right to writing, even if it's a part of a scene or a small intro.

I LOVE THE RESEARCH ASPECT OF WRITING

I know, the boring part, but I learn so many new things and I like my fics to be accurate to a degree...of course at some point I just have to be like "Debbi, it's okay if it's not possible for your character to survive a fifty foot drop -- you're doing it for the angst!!!!!"

Writing/Editing: I keep everything I do to Google docs! I can access it anywhere from my phone and I love the outline tool. As soon as I get an idea, I make a new doc and add the idea or outline.

I will write at home, on the bus, on my break at work, anywhere! I'm shameless so I don't mind writing smut next to strangers on a bus or in a cafe 😅 I like to write a chapter out without really focusing on editing, and if there's a moment where I'm struggling to find a way to phrase or talk about something or a word to use, I just bold that section and keep going. Then I'll go back and edit it.

I'll admit, I'm an awful editor LOL I'll go back through and make sure it makes sense (I like to try and find creative ways to get what's in my head on paper and sometimes it just doesn't sound good LOL)

I only recently had people start reading my stuff before posting and I always feel so bad for the grammar of mine they have to endure (To my beta readers, I love you and you're awesome! 💖)

I just have to remind myself that Stephen King had horrible grammar, but incredible stories. That keeps me going hahaha

Posting/Publishing: I am too lazy to go back through and type in the html, so I just hope and pray my italics make it through while copying it to AO3. So far it's cooperated. I've only had to go back and add in italics two or three times.

I like to promote my stuff with sneak peeks before posting fully, and recently I've been addicted to making playlists on spotify for my fics, little collages for when I post a new chapter on tumblr, creating ways for my readers to engage with the story by letting them choose certain things that happen next.

Are you a plotter or a pantser?

Both! 😅

Thirty Moments I planned out. I did have a thirty day OTP prompt I had written for merthur back in like 2014 so I followed that and changed it up a bit to go with acotar/gwynriel, and I knew I wanted the prompts to tell a story as they went along rather than them being one-offs so that required planning. That was my most extensive outline. My other outlines are quick little notes, like a basic idea of what's coming next...some times I follow that and some times it derails completely and I go off course!

BB, NH is very much pantsing. I went into it deciding that's how I'd do it because I wanted to try the method and I really like pantsing!

I think it really depends on the fic for me and how much bandwidth I have for the fic.

What do you listen to when you are writing?

Spotify playlists that fit the vibe of the story, or the playlist I created for the fic!

There's also a guy who plays the trumpet in the park I live next to, so sometimes I'll just listen to that as I write 🤣

What’s your drink of choice (while writing)?

I find my best writing happens in the morning so I'll usually have coffee or tea. In the afternoons if I'm writing it's kind of whatever I'm drinking; water, seltzer, wine...I don't have a specific drink I stick to when writing.

Promote yourself! What’s your favourite thing you’ve written?

Um, all of it? hahahaha no but I really loved Thirty Moments Tell A Story. It was my first major (published - I wrote something right after reading ACOSF and it was basically word vomit, but word vomit with potential so I'm currently editing that lol) Gwynriel fic and I loved the themes I explored.

Share a fic of yours that you think is underrated/deserves more love.

I'm going to shamelessly share FOUR of my one shots that deserve more love:

Please...Stay (because I love some angst with a happy ending)

The Priestess Listened (because Azriel just needs someone to listen to him)

Song of the Shadowsinger (what I think happened *HOFAS spoiler* when Azriel returned without TT)

Getaway Car (I got this idea when driving through Philly...it's the wild west in these mean streets)

Do you have any advice for new writers?

From the inspirational words of Shia LaBeouf: JUST DO IT

Seriously. Write the awful stories. Write the ones you can't get out of your head, or the ones that you only gave a minute of thought to. Writing anything helps you to hone your craft and meld it to what you want it to look like.

Try and write a little everyday. Even if it's a sentence, editing, an idea...anything to keep the juices flowing.

Take your time. Don't rush it.

This part is easier said than done, but don't be hard on yourself. Write because you like to do it, not because you're expecting a million hits or comments or kudos.

Talk with other writers and get their advice.

Read, read, read...seeing other writing helps to fuel and inspire yours!

Take breaks and remember to be kind to yourself!

What is a writing style/technique that others do really well that you'd like to get better at?

I like my smut, but I think I could do better at making it less telling and more showing.

Is there a character you were surprised you enjoyed writing as much as you did?

I like writing about the other Valkyries and giving them personalities. I liked writing Azriel’s mother as well!

I also have Balthazar as a beta in my Valkyrie appreciation week fic and I've only written one line for him so far but I'm already entertained by him 🤣

Thank you for tagging me @sadiegirl2021

No pressure tags: @captain-of-the-gwynriel-ship @oristian @shadowsxgwynriel @foreverinelysian

[honeybewrites]

WIP Questionnaire Tag

Thank you @kaylinalexanderbooks for the tag and @willtheweaver for the tag!!

What’s the first part of your WIP that you created?

I guess the characters and world. I created EoWC so long ago it's kind of hard to remember what came first, but I do remember obsessively looking for a name for my main OC. It's actually the only name that hasn't changed in the series.

If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

I haven't ever actually looked into finding a theme song for it, but now I'm curious if I could...

What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

703 is one of my favorites. She's been one of the most consistent characters since the beginning. Rage and Healer Asurr are also some of my favorites. They're both really fun to write despite their stark opposites. One of them is a lovely Dad Vibes character and the other is a deranged mad scientist obsessed with creating the perfect species.

What other pieces of media do you think your fanbase would share?

Oof. That's a hard one. Um, maybe something with a lot of gore/fighting/supernatural? Like the Netflix Witcher series or SPN maybe? Found family is also a pretty big theme so maybe some other media with that. I'm not really sure what other lovers to enemies media is out there, but I imagine that would also be shared.

What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

Plotting. I know how the story plays out, but getting it down into a useable outline is by far my biggest struggle. That and organizing the dozens of scenes I've written into a coherent timeline.

Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

Lots of animals! Some from our world and a lot created specifically for EoWC's world. But the main animal/species talked about is dragons. Their culture, subspecies, abilities. They are by far the most fleshed out species.

How do your characters travel/get around?

There's a lot of different ways. Ships are common, as they can fly places quickly and travel through Bridges to other Realms. Ground transports are used, mostly only in cities. There are smaller ones, like cars, and bigger ones, like trains to get across a Realm easier. But for smaller cities, walking is most common. Even in the larger cities, walking is still a common way to get around.

What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

Right now I'm trying to organize everything. I'm trying to get all the things I've written laid out to an outline and given an appropriate place in the series. Then I'll actually be able to see what scenes I still need to write and hopefully get a cohesive draft together.

What aspects (tropes, maybe?) will you think draw your audience in?

Um, dragons? I love books with dragons, maybe a little too much. But in all reality, I think the lovers to enemies is what will probably draw people in. I'd also like to hope my world building draws in a few people because I love it.

What are your hopes for your WIP?

I would like to get it published. Self published, just because I think that would be more fun. But really, if I could just finish it, publish it or not, and have one person who loved it, that would be enough for me.

Tagging @the-golden-comet @anaisbebe @fractured-shield @halfbakedspuds @diabolical-blue and anyone else that wants to hop on!!

[suguwu]

~~long ask ahead~~ don't say I didn't warn you lol

what motivates you to write?

I love your writing so much. the world building and the plot points, the twists and turns, everything about it is amazing to me. I really admire you as a writer.

I've been working on a long form piece for a while now, but I struggle to write or finish it. It's not that I am uninterested in the story, I actually love my outline and where I want to take it. but sometimes I just can't seem to find the motivation to continue.

most of the time what gets me to write nowadays is imagining my readers who have been waiting so patiently for me, and then imagining breaking their hearts with my story (yes I am that kind of writer lol). there's been so many times where fics will physically pain me and make me cry, yours included, and I just want to capture that for my readers too.

so what motivates you? I'm mostly just curious. do you outline? do you write chronologically or do you jump around?

anyways, you don't have to answer any of this if you don't want to, I was just wondering. I just wanted to say I really admire and look up to you! 💜

have a good day!

hi sweet anon! thank you so much for your kind words!!!

so i sat with this for a while to see if i could figure out a non-convoluted answer to it and...could not.

i think what motivates me to write changes day to day, along with how motivated i am to write that day! i am not a person who (often) forces myself to write. i do the occasional sprint and sometimes i do sit down and force myself to write, but not super often. so when i do write, it's usually a driving need to tell a story. to get it out of my head and onto paper. to make it last. and to enjoy telling it!

there is, of course, also the motivation of being able to share a story and see reactions (i would be lying if i didn't mention that) and i think sometimes that is what gets me through the grind of trying to finish a long-form fic.

and then there are the times when i'm not motivated at all. it happens! that's usually when i call in the big guns—my beta. i yell at them about thoughts and ideas and places a fic can go. it tends to remind me why i'm writing a fic in the first place—because i have something to say.

for your other questions, it really depends! i don't outline often but i will mark out key scenes that might appear in a fic. i do write chronologically because otherwise i will never get anything done. sometimes, if a scene is haunting me, i will skip ahead and write it, but mostly i make myself write chronologically.

i know this is probably a little convoluted and i'm so sorry for that but i think that motivation changes by the day and thus it can be hard to capture what it is that truly motivates you! but at the end of the day, i just want to have fun—and for me, that means telling a story, even if it takes me years.

thank you again for all of your sweet words and i am wishing you the best in finding motivation for your fic! it's out there and it's probably closer than you think 💞

[stop-talking]

I loveee your Derek fic! IK you said you’ve been kind of stumped lately and I have a suggestion if you don’t mind. Maybe add more to the reader to give her character more personality? Like make her a recovered addict so her and Derek can relate/bond more? Just a suggestion!

I'm so sorry for the wait on ch. 7!!!

I have been writing, just... it's currently a one thousand word incomprehensible blurb of feelings & thoughts, broken up by a few lines of dialogue here and there.

I don't know what to tell you guys as to WHY it's taking so long... other than I just haven't felt right.

Usually when I'm writing, I can see the scenes play out in my head like a movie, and it's just a matter of describing what I see. Like I'm fucking hallucinating.

Sometimes writing is super easy, because I've been replaying the same scene over and over in my head for days and I already intimately know how every little detail should play out.

Sometimes I have to do a little bit of prompting to get the scene to come together. (writing the little blurbs about how each character is feeling usually helps)

But recently, even that did not save me and I just could not see the story. I know that probably makes no fucking sense, but hey, the creative process is different for everyone and I don't think I'm going to be able to describe this abstract process using concrete words.

Basically the vibes have been off. Usually it only takes a few hundred word chapter outline to get me going, but this one took a thousand words before I could finally see the story.

But yes. I finally see the story. And I'm honestly probably going to wait and outline the next few chapters as well before I start actually writing, it'll just make it easier for me in the long run.

So yeah, gonna be a couple days on chapter 7... but when it does finally come out the wait for chapters 8, 9, and 10 shouldn't take too long. And I already know exactly how I want the epilogue to go... (it might even be two parts)

To anon:

I like your suggestion about making the reader a recovering addict as well, and I actually thought about doing that when I was first writing this. The problem is, I'm just not confident enough in my ability to write a character that's gone through that kind of a struggle in a realistic & respectful manner, seeing as I've never gone through that myself.

(I'm doing my best with Derek already, and I'm still not satisfied with how easy it's been for him. I feel like he should be more anguished 😭)

Anyway, it's also a little late in the story to suddenly reveal that she's been though the same thing he has. I mean, the story is partly told from her perspective, and i feel like she would have thought about it before, even if she never revealed it to Derek.

It's an interesting thought, though, and thank you all for being so paitent!

P.S

I'm at 197 followers, so submit some deranged jhutch smut requests for a 200 follower special. (I'll write just about anything other than non-con, underage, pissplay, that sort of thing.)

I'll pick one and write a short one-off AFTER chapter 7 of SISOTSIAICEHAS. (Wow, even the acronym is terrible.)

And to the person that requested the Clapton Davis fic... it's in my drafts. It will see the light of day eventually. Sorry.

[autumnslance]

I have a question about carrying out an idea. I think this writing issue I've been having has been plaguing me longer than my time on Mateus; I’ve always struggled to get past chapter one or even stick to an idea, even when I started writing years ago. Are there any pointers on carrying an idea or story through?

That's a hard one, as I know I have plenty of plans and WIPs I haven't gotten past those stages myself.

So I ask myself what's the core of the idea, the heart of it? What is it I really want to say? I don't tend to write chronologically myself; I write lines, descriptions, bits of dialogue, scenes, and chapters entirely out of order. I know where they "go" in the overall arc. And sometimes, like with the Avengret storyline, I can then string them together, shuffling the order, writing new bridging scenes, removing or combining others as needed.

If I am trying to write in order, even then if a section is hard, or boring, or not working--skip it. Put in some brackets with [AND THEN X AND Y HAPPENS AND IT'S NOW THE NEXT DAY]. Move on to the next part that excites you, or that you at least know what happens. You can always double back later and add in that connecting scene...or even decide it isn't needed now, you've covered everything it would have elsewhere, and can just be summarized and moved on from.

I've recently been reading a "How To Write" series of books by James Scott Bell; there are several, but they're all pretty short. One of the pieces of advice he gives is to start in the middle (go to the midpoint of just about any novel or film, and it's somewhere very near that 50% mark in one direction or another). Find the "mirror moment" a point--sometimes a page or paragraph, sometimes just a single line--that is a frank look at the situation, self, etc on the part of the main character. What do they see? It's a moment of reflective truth. Who is the character in this midpoint? How did they get here? Who do they need to be/what must they do to get to the end? How do they realize they may fail? What forces are against them? Do they realize/acknowledge any of this?

These are recommendations more for novels than short stories, but heavens know how long some of our fics go, and short stories do still have similar, if truncated, structures and beats.

Anyway, you're not beholden to write from beginning to end. You may not know everything about your story yet--because you haven't written it yet, and these things change form, even for plotters with outlines. Write scenes. Write chapters. Write microfics that are just a couple lines of dialogue. Use prompt lists and challenges, if you gotta. Start small and build, as one of the old philosophers said.

(and eventually one day you look and realize you've written a few hundred thousand words, many of them about your OC and a Damn Rogue wending through their world...)

Writing works like exercise; you have to practice it, figure out what works for you, at what times of day, and it can be a struggle to keep up momentum. In the meanwhile, you also have to take other care of yourself.

Like actual exercise (whatever you're able to do; at least stretches, which is where I'm at some days). Remembering to eat and stay hydrated, get plenty of sleep (don't @ me, I sleep, just on a later schedule), and also do remember to intake other creative works; I got a rush of inspiration last year and spent months feverishly writing scenes and plotting and writing dialogues and making timeline outlines and writing more pages I'll never use after reading a popular novel, cuz the visceral language and a vaguely similar character dynamic in certain specific ways clicked something on in my brain. We gotta feed that persnickety little muse.

And on the days the muse is being recalcitrant...we write anyway. It's hard, it feels like it sucks, but if we want to get something done? Write something. Anything. Stream of consciousness if you gotta; complain, talk out your ideas, maybe write a little from that. And the next day look at it and realize it's not so bad as you thought and a little polish will fix it.

So don't try to be perfect first round; writing is messy. Revision and editing is where we make it look pretty (you usually don't have to rewrite entirely front to back, either; some folks like to, but for many others that's only if there's serious structure issues; mileage varies per project, too, as they're all different).

So write the scenes out of order, as they come. See what ideas stick and what are just idle thoughts. Maybe they're all true and there's multiverses and AUs there. See what starts t string together into coherence. Don't be afraid to revise, rewrite, even retcon if something better comes along months later after you already posted something.

The only way to know the story is to write it, figuring out how it wants to be written, and sometimes that means writing it from other angles and around the back way until it tells us how it got to that point (and whether what we thought was the start actually was or not).

Anyway. This got long, hopefully there's some tiny tidbit that helps!

[itsu-saragi]

Devlog #6 - My Brain Hurts, but When Does it Not?

Good timezone! Sorry I'm late with the update, but the good news: we're so back. I've finally settled in and have resumed my work on this blasted project.

Writing

I reviewed my notes and decided to do another pass on the love interest character.

Ngl, he's really fucking hard to write. Usually, I can imagine how my characters act and speak pretty well, but this guy... this guy. I'm still struggling to get a grasp on him.

I wonder if it's because I'm creating him for a VN? Or maybe I'm just overthinking?

Actually, let's talk about this for a brief moment.

I'm someone who loves creating original characters. Just this past month, apart from this VN I made two other OCs for some DnD games, and that came easy. So in comparison, why has this LI-creating process been so hard for me?

Well first, it's worth noting that there's a specific method to creating characters in DnD. You pick your race, class, background, et cetra... And those selections in turn inform who your character may be. Does your character have the Soldier background and high intelligence, but low strength? Well, maybe you could interpret that as your character being a military strategist, but with little combat experience. Those rules allow for creativity within the limitations. On the other hand, I'm trying to create a character in my own homebrew world, plus there's no RPG system, so I have fewer constraints which can make my indecisive ass suffer.

Now that I think of it, it might not be a bad idea to try turning him into a DnD character...

I'm getting off track.

Anyway. Though I said there are fewer constraints when creating a VN character, I'm not totally correct there. It's just that I feel there's a different set of requirements that are more... challenging. At least to me.

You see, when I create characters I don't typically construct them with a greater purpose in mind. I just want to make them a cool little creature, and if there's an existing world or story I'll modify them so they make sense in the lore. I’ll add their shortcomings so that they have room to grow, but in a collaborative setting like DnD it’s not guaranteed that my character will go through their arc, nor do I know how that arc will play out, so it’s not my main focus.

But when creating this VN, I've realized that not only does this character need to be interesting and appealing, but I also need to give them a complete arc while simultaneously fitting the narrative and theme. And maybe more stuff I'm not aware of. These constraints aren't mechanical, they're more... structural.

I'm not sure if that's the right word. But it sure as hell made my head spin.

I don't know what the solution to this is other than keep drafting and iterating. Maybe it's turning them into DnD characters.

It's a fun challenge to think about though.

Programming

On another note, after weeks of dreaded avoidance, I finally cracked open RenPy again. And turns out it didn't suck, so yay?

I've added more scenes and choices in my prototype, which is satisfying to see when I run the code.

I think my next challenge is figuring out the scope and the UI. The scope can only be determined by working on the narrative outline so... I should probably prioritize that.

And on the days when my writing brain isn't working, I should tackle some of the UI. Hearing other devs talk about how annoying RenPy UI can be gets me a little nervous, but I guess it's time to find out for myself.

October Goals

Try to get this love interest character locked in holy shit

And if possible, figure out scope, if not try UI

Thank you for reading! I appreciate it.

[autistichalsin]

I need to start by saying: I'm feeling weird and awkward sending this ask. It's the outline of a scene I've been working on for over a week, rewriting and rewriting and rewriting. I'm finding it really overwhelming, specifically in nailing down how Halsin would react.

I think just about every version I've written over *could* be justified, but some how that leaves me even more unsure.

And you're an incredible Halsin expert, I love everything you've written about him, so I figured... there's no harm in asking. :x

But if you feel inclined to disregard, for any reason, like if it's too much, I understand.

--- So, ahem ---

In regards to the conversation Halsin and Tav have about Halsin's experience with the she-bear.

With the context of, Halsin is a werebear and doesn't know it. Tav is an antherion and thinks it's obvious, having talked with the other companions about it early on without it being any sort of reveal. She just assumes Halsin can tell, but he can't, thinking she's just a druid. Tav knows Halsin is a werebear and assumes he has a similar attitude that -- it's not a notable part of who he is.

There's some tension between Halsin and Tav. Tav thinks that Halsin is neglecting himself when it comes to the full moon. (She assumes this is because of the stress of the Goblins, the Grove, and most recently the Shadow Curse and its cursed lands.) It's a little bit frustrating because she helps his bear form and that takes time and effort. It's one more thing to add to her plate, a small thing she doesn't even consider ignoring, but one more concern all the same.

But it's also distressing to see what she thinks is a manifestation of his emotional state and trauma which he is otherwise able to repress. And it's easier to be frustrated than it is to be upset.

So she probably gives off the impression that she thinks Halsin is incompetent even as she becomes interested in getting to know him.

(But would any of this be something Halsin would pick up on? I think it's reasonable he would consider the possibility on its own, even just as a flash of shame. But as you've pointed out, there are several social cues he doesn't notice. Would he be aware of his own short comings socially and try not to dwell on her attitude (whatever that might be) towards him as he can not control her opinion and can't change her mind for her?)

What it breaks down to, is in their most relaxed and positive conversation yet, how would Halsin react if after sharing the story about the she-bear if Tav just stood there in silence before, without saying anything, turning into a dog and walking off?

Specifically, he's so caring of everyone else, and he can be so thoughtful. Would he consider the possibility that she is upset because she went through something similar (but was unsuccessful in her attempt to spurn her pursuer)? Or would it the possibility not occur to him?

How much would he wonder about the cause of such a sudden and intense reaction? How easily could he explain it to himself as another thing she sees as a failing or short coming of his and that she was walking off in disgust?

To what extent would he berate himself about it and what would he focus on? That, in general, he struggles socially and should of known better? Or that maybe the topic itself was too taboo to even mention?

Tav comes back to apologize for her actions the very next evening and they talk about it in depth.

---

*lies down* I'm so tired.

Thank you so much for your nice words!

I stared at this in my inbox for a few days, trying to think of something to say, but unfortunately, I'm going to have to disappoint you here, and I'm truly sorry for it. I really don't know how to answer your questions, because it just seems like... it's dependent on so much of what you want to do as a writer, and I feel like I can't really answer any of those without effectively writing the fic for you. Which I don't think is what you want me to do, especially since this is your Tav! I do think it sounds like an interesting idea and I would love to read what you come up with, though!

[theysangastheyslew]

Hey!!!

I want to share more suffering with you, homie haha *crying*

What do you think of the episode? Especially 132 part ofc!

Hi friend! :'))))))))) Ooooooh honey that gif is such a mood XD I’ve been trying to collect my thoughts and this is the best I can do atm. Sorry it’s kind of wordy but here we go 🥲

Ok! So ever-present pacing issues aside, the overarching story made for a solid episode and the animation was incredible. Hell, even the things I disliked objectively looked well-done out of context. Overall, that was no small feat to pull off, especially in such harsh working conditions. I truly do want to acknowledge that.

But in regards to 132, you guys already put into words how I feel better than I could. I may not have anything new to add, but I’ll say what I liked first and then put my issues under a cut.

As someone who actually really likes Yams’ art style, I loved that they consistently kept Hange’s face accurate to the manga. It was really inconsistent throughout the final season and they struggled to not make it too short a lot of times. Hange was always still stunning of course but the difference always stuck out to me. Here everyone was drawn well, but you can tell she got some extra attention.

The way they inched Levi closer to where Hange was sitting while talking with Yelena. Insignificant yeah but consistent with their past behavior. Also I’m glad they tweaked the position of his bandages so it looked less like they were painfully tugging upwards on his nose.

The pained expressions of the kids and Hange watching Levi struggle to even hold his gear

The “unrequited love” exchange. It had most of the softness and emotion from the manga even though the weight of that line will never be realized in non-written form. The camera lingered on each frame in a way that conveyed the sentiment. This is what got my hopes up that they would stay truer to the source material with DYH.

I'm so glad they left in Hange's lines to Flochroach about not giving up. Helps show—once again—that they wanted to live

The choked way Levi said “Devote your heart” + Hange’s widened eye and soft gasp at his words. Though not tearing up like in the manga, the shot still looked lovely for the half second it lasted. He doesn't pause halfway through saying it though so this one I'm still wrestling with.

Of course, the last stand. Onscreen, Hange took out at least 16 colossals (including the ones we see trip and get trampled) and definitely more offscreen (when they cut away to show other characters) and for the last few, did it while in the most pain a human body can feel. 7/10 for combat, my ass. Idk about y’all but I can’t stop hearing Romi Park’s screams in my head. I knew it would be nauseating and brutal but dear God. At the same time I cannot put into words how proud I am of them. That's my commander 💜

Ok “like” is definitely not the right word for this but I had wondered when I first read 132 how Hange’s gas tank was so well-insulated that it didn’t ignite, and.. well I got my answer.

I’m thankful that they didn’t show a glimpse of Hange’s bloody, crushed remains the way you see in the og panel. That at least felt respectful to me. This is wishful thinking I know but the defined charred outline makes me choose hope they fell more off to the side from where the titans were walking so at least there was maybe still a body left to recover someday.

The afterlife scene, the kids all sobbing their hearts out, Levi holding his own hand in the aftermath trying to process what just happened, and Onyankopon confirming the plane’s significance all really were appropriately gut-wrenching.

I really recommend taking a little break between The Rumbling and Sinners. It definitely makes the shift in emotion less jarring and less

When I did that with my rewatch it helped with the flow of things.

Ok, now twist me up and call me a pretzel bc here there be some salt :|

I’ll try to leave out my og issues with the manga chapter itself (like how painfully obvious it was all just to make Armin commander and how unnecessary Hange dying was IN THE FIRST PLACE and IF it had to happen at all how it could have been done at the final boss skelepalooza showdown, etc.) and just focus on the episode.

Goes without saying but it bears repeating: pacing. 75% of my issues with the execution of DYH would be gone if they just slowed down a bit. Just let the weight of it sink in a little. That this moment —all shreds of shipping aside— is the end of the line for these two heroes who have been supporting each other for ten years while bearing the weight of the world on their shoulders. But Mappa completely reversed the timing of the sequence of events. In the manga we had a longer, more intimate farewell followed by a last stand that was so short even when you knew it was coming it left you reeling from how fast it was from start to finish. Whereas here they hurried it along to get to the “main event”. Hell, it flows better in gif sets than it does in the actual show.

To me, it felt like Hange’s demeanor didn’t really change from talking with the kids to speaking with Levi, making their false bravado seem like less of a front. I know their tone was meant to sound like they were keeping up appearances, but with how often Hange just gets reduced solely to being a titan freak the way they had Romi say the lines made it sound like actual excitement, especially with the way they drew Hange's facial expressions (more on that next)

Hange’s little smirk after the salute. I kinda get what they were trying to do here but to me it came off as very flippant and dismissive of Levi’s choice of words, especially since they all but got rid of their lips trembling and eye beginning to well up with tears. I wish we’d gotten the big fake smile and laugh because that would have shown better that Hange was overcompensating by trying to put their brave face back on after starting to lose their composure. Their fear is obvious in the manga but it just simply didn’t come through as well throughout this entire exchange.

Sooo Hange almost tears up when Pieck said their words inspired her yet minutes later when their Best Friend tries to say goodbye there’s nowhere near that kind of reaction? Sure, Jan

Levi’s face. Ok look. It’s not a lack of emotion on his part that bothers me. It’s that it’s an entirely different one to begin with. He looks bummed at first yes, but then that changes to what I’m guessing is supposed to be determination which comes off as anger or annoyance (kinda like what changed with his scene with Armin on the stairs). They removed what made this parting different from previous ones, which was the sense of open vulnerability and the dawning realization that now he’s going to have to let Hans go too. See it's not like they were in the middle of the battle just yet. This situation came on suddenly and unexpectedly; it wasn't "supposed" to happen. One second they were on track and the next Hange is being torn away by fate. And yes, the highlights play a part in that transition. Anyone who draws eyes knows the importance of placement and intensity and the major impact they have over the final expression. And when drawing a comic you certainly don’t take up valuable page space with three panels focusing on the hope draining out of someone’s eyes if it wasn’t supposed to be the focus. I mean for fuck's sake, even the Final Season!Nendoroid Levi got it right. Plus, if they could make a point of getting Eren's eyes right during the raid on Liberio they could have gotten it here.

When the camera cuts to the kids watching the titans fall the angle doesn’t let you see that Levi can’t bring himself to watch for more than just a second

NOT MAPPA’s FAULT but since I’m being whiny right now I’m going to add that while ACWNR is a mixed bag to begin with, WIT’s adaptation not including Levihan’s introduction saddens me bc Levi asking Hange to keep watching loses a bit of extra oomph.

Really it just comes down to the fact that there was nothing wrong with the original page. It wasn’t overdone or dragged out by any means but considering many other scenes got shot-for-shot depictions I don’t think we were asking for anything outrageous by wanting a faithful adaptation. The couple frames we got that were almost perfect were so freakin fast you barely had time to process them before it cut away.

I wanted to like it, I really did. Especially since MAPPA did so many things so incredibly well as a whole. My expectations weren’t high, and I did want to give it the benefit of the doubt. But when it came to DYH, it felt both watered down and disjointed, like a completely different scene.

But so it goes. At the end of the day, Hange still dies a horrifying, demeaning death for plot convenience, and Levi is left behind to suffer once again. It was always going to hurt and I was never going to be ready for it, no matter how it was done.