#I know life is hard and we shouldn't take it personally and we should never expect people to coddle us and blah blah

[dmumt]

genuine question is having a flatmate ever a pleasant experience

[rose-tinted-nostalgia]

.

[rosenclaws]

Could I pleasssse request a smut/fluff fic with Logan where he secretly likes the reader and doesn't like the readers bf? The reader is in their early to mid twenties and has been best friends with Logan for years and he snaps one night when her bf is being an asshole 👀 thank you so much 😭

warnings: Angst to fluff, asshole boyfriend, he's mutant hating low key, threats, fighting

a/n: Hehehe i fucking LOVE a good jealousy fic, also I based the asshole ex on multiple asshole exes of my own lol.

Things were well and truly complicated. You always knew what being a mutant meant for your relationship life. Having to dip your toes into the water to see if they the kind of person who wanted your kind dead or if they were more open to the idea of mutants.

Even then you ran into all kinds of assholes. If you could even get past the first date then you'd have to drop the bomb that you work at a mutant school with mutant children. Safe to say your dating life was pretty empty.

"You here again sweetheart?" You roll your eyes when you hear Logan's voice. It's Friday night and you're sitting in the living room of the mansion with a root beer.

“Yeah, so are you.” You bite back. He just chuckles and takes a seat next to you. Spreading his legs until his knee knocks into yours.

“Weren’t you supposed to go out with that kid, what was his name Jacob or…”

“Jason. Yeah he canceled when he saw the pick up address.” You remember the absolute terrified voice he spoke to you in, afraid you were going to melt his bones through the phone or something.

“You really know how to pick em.” You shove Logans shoulder as he laughs.

“Fuck off, I don’t see you getting any action lately either.”

“That’s because I’m not interested in dating some stranger.” He grumbles.

Truth is Logan hasn't been interested in anyone except for you for a while now. Its been years and as pathetic as it sounds Logan was too afraid to say anything. But there's no reason to mess up a good thing right? Plus it's not like you've been showing any interest in him.

“Look, any guy would be lucky to have you sweetheart, you just need to find the right one."

"Feels like I've been searching forever. Feels like I should make a marriage pact or something." You say with a groan.

"A marriage pact?" "Logan questions.

"Yeah you know, if we haven't found someone by the time we're forty we just, get married."

"We?" Your eyes widen and you start to flounder. The last thing you want is for Logan to think you're a creep or something. It's not like you fantasize about Logan or anything. Totally not.

"Not you, I mean if you wanted to then sure but I was just talking hypothetically you know. I mean god could you imagine you and I?" The words tumble out of your mouth with no filter. You just can't stop yourself. Logan cocks and eyebrow and you pray for something, anything to happen to help you shut up.

"Yeah...hard to picture you and I" Logan's face hardens as he talks.

Like he thought before, you don't want him. You could just burst into flames right here and now. The tension is palpable. Logan has been your friend for a long time but he never fails to make you a little nervous. He shouldn't have this hold over you but god he's just so big and intimidating.

"You know what? We should go out." You say abruptly.

"What? Hey give that back!" You grab the beer out of his hand and he looks at you confused.

"It'll be fun please, I'll buy the first round." You offer and he thinks for a second.

"Fine."

You don't really know what drove you to want to come here. It was loud and crowded and you and Logan had gotten separated after the first drink. Maybe you just wanted to avoid the odd feelings you get whenever you're alone with him. Plus that last conversation was awkward as hell.

You sigh as you swirl your drink around. You spot Logan across the room. He's leaning against the wall while a very pretty red head is all in his space. Your heart clenches as you notice the cocky smile on his face and how he's not pushing her away. Guess someone is getting lucky tonight and it isn't you.

"Hey, couldn't help but notice a beautiful girl all by herself." You look to your side to see a guy slide into the seat next to you. He seems nice enough. He's cute and all.

"Oh I'm here with a friend." You say looking back at Logan.

"Yeah, he seems busy to me. The name's Carter. Let me buy you a drink, no strings attached I swear." He offers. You take one last look at Logan, that woman's hand snaking up his arm. Fuck it.

"Alright deal."

Things since that night have been, a little off. You went home with Carter after Logan had disappeared. Carter was nice enough, at least he was at first. He treated you nice, bought you flowers. He didn't care you were a mutant or that you worked at a mutant school. He was the perfect gentleman. For the first couple months.

It happened so slowly you didn't even notice at first. You spent less time at the mansion, instead now spending it with him. The kids started to miss you and so did your friends but you were happy and they were happy you were happy.

You rarely saw Logan anymore. Ever since you came home from the bar he had been avoiding you, or something. Carter would come by the mansion but his nice guy persona seemed to fade the more he spent with everyone. It didn't help that one of your students accidently lit him on fire once. That's when the fights started.

He didn't trust the kids there, said they were dangerous. He would tell you that he liked mutants but h was worried for your safety. And he really didn't like Logan. The first time the two of them met it ended in a fight on the car ride back to his place. Logan was a strong personality and the two men clashed.

Soon every time your job got brought up it ended in a fight. He'd talk bad about your students, about your friends, about Logan. Carter wanted to keep you away from there because he loved you but they were your family.

He loved you, you had to believe it was all because he loved you. I mean you had spent so long looking for a man who didn't care about your job or your mutant abilities and Carter was that guy. At least you thought he was. You won't find anyone better. Carter liked to say that. It's hard to come by someone who's okay with what you are. So you just had to believe he did it all because he loved you.

"Do we really have to go to this stupid thing? Can't we just stay in..." Carters hand snakes up your leg but you bat his hand away making him huff.

A pissed off look on his face as you drive to the mansion. It was a simple staff party but it had been too long since you got to relax with all your friends. Carter had insisted on coming along but right now you wish he had just stayed home, especially if he was going to complain the whole time.

"This is really important to me. We don't have to stay long I promise." You say in a cheerful tone but Carter just rolls his eyes.

"Whatever." It was exhausting. To Carter anything he wanted to do was fine but as soon as there was something you wanted to do it was a chore.

"Don't understand why you're so obsessed with being around these...people." He mumbles under his breath. Not this again. You plaster on a fake smile as you pretend you didn't hear him. He loves you for who you are right?

The party was in full swing by the time you get in. You greet your friends, trying to hide your feelings as Carter says something about getting a drink.

"You finally made it." You turn to see Logan standing behind you.

"Logan! Didn't expect to see you here." You tease. Parties were never Logan's thing.

"I heard you might show up, can't miss that now can I?" He opens his arms and you don't hesitate to hug him. You missed this. Your nights used to be filled with movie nights and late night snacking with Logan. It's been so long since you got to do any of that.

"Hey, is everything okay?" Logan clocks the fake smile immediately. He's noticed the ways you've changed. You're deflated, tired. It's all that assholes doing and he knows it.

"Yeah every things fine," Logans hands rest on your arms, he's about to press you a little further but Carter comes back.

"Hey man get your hands off my girlfriend." Carter almost seems to puff out his chest as if he was trying to appear bigger than Logan. Logan rolls his eyes.

"Calm down bub, just saying hi to my friend."

"Well she's my girlfriend."

"Yeah she's also a person not a fucking object." Logan growls and you step to get in between the two of them. The last thing you wanted was a fight right now.

"It was great seeing you again Logan." You smile as Carter wraps his hand around your wrist.

Logan reluctantly lets go of you as you're taken away by your boyfriend. He feels this anger burning inside of him. Every time he sees that bastard touch you he wants to rip off his damn arms. Every time he sees your smile fall or hears your fake laugh.

"Jealous much?" Scott comments, a smirk on his face as Logan turns to glare.

"I ain't jealous." Logan snaps as he stalks away.

Yes he is, he's very jealous. He's jealous that asshole is your boyfriend and not him. He's jealous that he's not the one who gets to hold you at night and call you his girl. But he was too late. So he's got no one to blame but himself.

Carter hadn't left your side since your moment with Logan. Normally you'd be happy about this but he was doing nothing but complain every chance he got.

"Can we just fucking go home already. You saw your little friends."

"It's barely been an hour Carter. All I asked for was this one thing! These people are my family would it kill you to try and act interested." You snap, finally fed up with his attitude. He scoffs and crosses his arm.

"I am trying. It's not my fault your family are freaks! Especially that fucking monster." He says with an extra glare towards Logan. Heads start to turn as he raises his voice.

"They're not freaks and don't call Logan that! He is not a monster!" You hiss. You've had it up to here with Carter. Everything you thought about him was crumbling down. If this is what love was then you'd rather be single.

"Of course you come to his defense. What are you fucking him on the side?" He spits.

Logan looks ready to pounce but he's being held back. If he could he'd maim this guy until he's nothing but blood and bones. He doesn't care what insult this guy spews his way but the second he disrespects you, all bets are off.

"He's my friend that's why I'm defending him. I will not let you talk about anyone of these people like that! You are nothing but a hateful asshole. You can go home and don't wait up because you're done."

You're seething with anger but there's a sense of relief that washes over you. You can feel every ones eyes on you but you don't care. You turn around to walk away but Carter grabs onto your wrist.

"Don't fucking walk away from me!" You wince at how hard he grabs you and that's when Logan snaps. Like an animal he's on Carter in an instant. Claws out and a murderous look on his face.

"Get your fucking hand off her before I slice it off." Whatever arrogance Carter had was gone in an instant. He lets go of your wrist and grabs at Logan's arm but Logan is unmoving.

"Listen here bub, you're going to get your sorry ass out of here and never come back." Logan leans in, just close enough that Carter is the only one who can hear his next words.

"If you even think of contacting her again I'll find you and I'll rip you limb from limb." Carter scrambles out of Logans grip and falls to the ground.

"You're all fucking insane." He yells as he runs out the door.

There's a weight that falls off your shoulders the second he's out of your sight. You let out a sigh as you turn to face everyone. Some of them were looking at you with pity and others were happy he was finally gone.

"I am, so sorry for ruining the party."

"You didn't ruin the party sugar, we're glad he's gone. Now we can really party." Rouge says with a smile, you're grateful for her as this breaks the awkward tension.

Things seem to go back to normal but you slip outside, not really feeling a party mood anymore. You hear the door open and foot steps behind you. A root beer is placed in front of you and you gladly take it. Wordlessly Logan takes the spot next to you. Man you can't remember the last time you got to sit down with Logan.

"Thank you, and I'm sorry." You say. He shrugs and throws an arm around you, pulling you closer.

"Nothing to be sorry for sweetheart, asshole had it coming." He takes a sip of his beer and you sigh, leaning a little closer to him.

"How could I be so stupid, things went south way before tonight. I just...didn't want to see it."

"Hey, you're not stupid. You were in love." Love makes you do a lot of things. Turn a blind eye or in Logan's case. Pretend like the feelings aren't even there.

"No I wasn't. Not really. I think...I was so afraid of never finding someone that I latched onto the first guy to give me an ounce of attention." You groan. What's so wrong with wanting to be loved huh? Nothing. But you deserve a guy who isn't a complete asshole.

"There will be other guys, anyone would be lucky. to have you"

"Yeah? Like who?" You say with a snort.

"Like me." Logan says simply. Your eyes widen as you taken in what he just said.

"What?" You ask in disbelief.

Logan shifts where he sits. Fuck this isn't how he imagined telling you, in fact he thought he never would. But Carter made him so angry and he'd be dammed if he let another dick come and take you away again.

"Like me, I want to be the lucky bastard."

"I...Logan how long have you felt this way." You ask, a hand coming to rest on his chest.

"It doesn't matter,"

"Yes it does, please. I need to know how much of an idiot I've been." You beg and Logan frowns, he doesn't like it when you call yourself an idiot.

"Years sweetheart, I've been in love with you for years." He confesses.

All this time. He's been there. As your friend, as something more. Too wrapped up in his own shit to say something at first and then by the time he worked out some of it, it was too late. He hates to admit it but that asshole did one thing right, it pushed him to stop hiding how he really feels about you.

"Logan..." You whisper as your lean in close to him.

His hand snakes around your waist and pulls you closer. Your lips ghost each other for just a moment, before he leans closer and kisses you. Your lips move together slowly. Logan groans against your lips as he pulls you even closer, if anyone were to look outside they'd see you practically crawling onto his lap.

His other hand cups your cheek, keeping you right there for him to kiss over and over. A part of you is kicking yourself for not saying anything to Logan sooner. So much pain and annoyance could have been avoided had one of you just confessed, but the other part of you is too happy to care. Too happy knowing that he felt the same way and that he was finally yours.

"I wish we had done this sooner."

"Me too sweetheart, but you have me now." He says as he kisses you again. A thought lingers in your mind and you pull away from Logan much to his dismay.

"Fuck, I need to get my shit from Carters place." You say with a groan.

"Don't say his name ever again," Logan grumbles and you laugh.

"I'll take care of everything so you never even have to think of that asshole." Logan buries his face in your neck, kissing every bit of skin he can reach.

"Now, lets ditch this party and make up for some lost time." Logan purrs.

God there's so much time to catch up on, you mourn what could have been but Logan taps your cheek. Snapping you out of your spiraling thoughts.

"You alright sweetheart?" You nod, shaking your head free of those thoughts. That's all in the past now, it took a while but you found your way to Logan and that's all that matters.

"I've never been better. Now, take me home."

[soonwoosz]

mingyu x reader

-------------------

"how have you been?"

the air turned thick with tension.

mingyu stood before you, height towering over as always - just like when you left him 3 years ago.

you bit your lips, fingers fidgeting on your bag after being caught coming out of the same restaurant, another failed blind date added to your list.

you hummed, nodding slightly. "i've been okay, i just moved into my own apartment."

"i see, i guess you did hit your goal after that year, huh?"

your heart sank, the memories washed over you after you had spent the past years trying to supress them.

mingyu first met you in university, which cued an endless chase through the shared classes and megre time you had seeing each other. both of you graduated together known as the sweetest campus couple, being inseperable every time you two were seen together.

but life after uni didn't prove to be easy - you found a part time job while mingyu had gotten accepted into his father's company.

"i didn't get the promotion.." mingyu sighed, bringing the topic up on your date one day. "but i promise you, i'll work harder so that we can have enough to buy our own house in the future, then i'll make you my mrs. kim, you won't even have to lift a finger!"

you laughed, hitting his arm lightly. "nonsense. we'll both work hard together, i promise you that too."

however.

time spent together became lesser, the more mingyu got engrossed in his work. misunderstandings surfaced, tension rose, and your relationship strained.

your last straw was the day you decided to surprise mingyu outside his office for lunch.

the moment mingyu walked to you with a puppy-like smile on his face, whispers were heard.

"who is that?"

"she looks so dirty."

"is that mingyu from the finance department?"

"i heard even the department head had her eyes on him."

"that can't be his girlfriend right..."

in the sea of people in the building, only one person had caught your eye.

there stood mingyu's father behind the crowd, hands in his pocket with a displeased expression on his face.

for the first time, you felt out of place.

and that night, you made the hard decision to break up with him.

"how about you? have you gotten the promotion you wanted?"

mingyu's eyes widened slightly in shock.

"you...remembered," he paused. "i did, i'm in the assistant department now, getting ready to take over the company after my father."

your lips thinned, muttering a soft 'ahh'.

"who was that man just now leaving with you?"

the night grew colder, and you couldn't tell if your cheeks had turned red from the embarrassment, or started to freeze from the air.

"that was my...boyfriend." you stuttered. "he had to leave for an emergency at his workplace."

you slipped your hands into your puffer, unable to bear the not-at-all-convincing reply that just came out your mouth.

"i should go-"

"stop lying."

in a second, a pair of warm hands had squished your cheeks together, tilting your face up to make eye contact.

you sighed, busking in the warmth of his grip that gave your cheeks relief from the biting cold.

"you never liked sitting opposite in booths, you've always begged me to sit beside you."

"my tastes have changed since then!" your words came out as a muffle, lips mushed together.

"your boyfriend shouldn't have left you out here easily if he knew you got cold easily, even if it was an emergency" he suddenly stopped mid-sentence.

"most importantly, at least i wouldn't."

his eyes shined under the streetlights that lit the road, gaze locked onto yours - looking for a glimmer of something more.

"i talked to my dad." your breath hitched. "i know what happened that day."

your eyes stung with tears, all the word you had wanted to say for all these years somehow had gotten stuck in your throat.

"i know you still love me, and i still love you too."

-------------------

끝

a/n inspired by 'if i' by hhu! the ending 'whisper' verse

[absolutebl]

Best 24 of BL 2024 - Quirky Awards

ONLY shows that ENDED their runs in 2024 are up for awards.

SHOCK & AWE AWARDS

1. Biggest BL surprise of 2024:

Cherry Magic Thailand. TayNew's version was truly a lovely experience and very much its own take on the original, an adaptation rather than a remake. I'm so relieved and grateful that GMMTV managed to pull it off, and sad it wasn't more widely available.

2. The “that country did WHAT?” award:

Meet You At the Blossom from China. From start to finish it is exactly as it claimed to be, wuxia BL, including more than the expected amount of sexual claiming (dubious consent to the point of rape) and actual kisses, wife language, floaty sleeves, you name it. FROM CHINA!!!

3. Biggest casting whoa! where did you come from? award:

Up & Poom in My Stand-In. I mean, WHERE did you two come from and how did this happen? Holy smokes. My goodness are we grateful!

4. That studio did WHAT now? award:

Youku putting Unknown out wide and easily avaiable on YouTube (for most of us). It's just really rare for a Taiwanese BL to get any kind of distribution. And to do that with arguably the best TaBL of the year and not some sad little mew mew? Amazing.

5. I’m sad you were ignored award:

Sugar Dog Life - such a charming JBL, so hard to find. I'm so sad it didn't get distribution. It's charming, one of my favorites of the year, worth tracking down if you can.

6. 2024 BL That Actually Made Me Lose My Mind Award?

I gotta be honest, it was The Sign. I was such a chaotic mess of a show but never once was I bored. It was the only one that drove me into memes and captions and silliness.

I did go a bit feral for a while over Love for Loves Sake and Wandee Gooday not to mention The Only One (until it went tits-up).

NARRATIVE AWARDS

7. Best story 2024:

Cherry Magic (Thai remake). I know, but it worked just as well in another country, if not better. I always enjoy this kind of magical realism concept (after all Color Rush is one of my all time favorite BLs) and despite the increased length, the pacing was solid on this one... even from Thailand.

8. Best narrative structure 2024 award:

Love For Love's Sake. A KBL isekai about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. I drowned in this show and liked it that way.

9. Best 2024 dialogue (script) award:

We Are, it was just so much fun. And so FUNNY.

10. Favorite scene 2024:

Like anyone needed to ask. Unknown, of course.

11. The most rewatchable BL of 2024 award:

We Are

It's just all the couples are so cute and the core friendship group is so charming and endearing.

ACTORS & CHARACTERS AWARDS

12. Best performance of a queer actor in a leading role:

no award this year, yeah the whole damn industry should be thoroughly ashamed of itself

13. Best pining 2024:

The Time of Fever. That feeding him orange while lying on the floor scene ALONE.

14. Best wingman 2024 (The Namgoong Award)

Yai in The Sign.

15. Biggest OMG I LOVE you boys together, YAY!

SailubPon from Pit Babe & This Love Doesn't Have Longbeans, from the softness of one to the health code violations of the other. Sure their shows are bonkers, but man are these two good at bonkers (and bonking).

With a nod to BigPark from Monster Next Door.

16. Most unexpected return of a BL pair? award:

OffGun. There were rumors that Off was out at the beginning of 2023. And then they came back with 2 shows in 2024 (Cooking Crush and The Trainee)!

17. Well aren't you two just the prettiest? award:

I dithered a lot (Babe's damn waist and OMG The Sign's sex scenes hawt), but in the end it had to go to GreatInn. They were just so good at showing their characters having FUN together. There is a lot of beauty in enjoying sex and another person's company. It's so rare to see that portrayed in a BL (and it shouldn't be rare).

18. LIFETIME ACHIEVEMENT AWARD

I'm actually giving it to OffGun. Ya know, where others falter, these two just keep going. It's kinda amazing.

RANDOM PICKS

19. Favorite Linguistic Moment of 2024:

The general flirtatious banter from Last Twilight.

20. Biggest disappointment of 2024:

Addicted Heroin (Thai version). Some of the very best original material + one of my favorite Thai actors (who I've been waiting eons to see in a BL again) and THIS was the result? They could have fixed China's worst BL mistake, instead the made everything worse. I'm gonna be bitter for a really really long time.

I gotta sat The Only One comes a real close second tho. And I'm still mad about Last Twilight, too.

21. Best Wardrobe/Prop Use 2023

Meet You At The Blossom - I love a pretty boy pissing contest over who has the biggest sleeves. Twirl you beautiful bastards, TWIRL!

22. Best Queer Rep 2024

Again, not great this year. I loved the fun sex and play in Wandee, but there were precious few femme characters, and in general it felt like we took some steps back from queerness this year. So I'm gonna give it to Deep Night, because at least they gave us honest poly for the first time.

23. Best Meta Trope call out

Love for Love Sake - Korea taking to task the Dead Fish Kiss when they are often the worst offender was...... amusing.

But Deep Night having male sex workers having to act like they were in a BL for a couple chicks...... literally gay for pay depicting gay for pay and just, well, that's frankly a gut punch. There was some sarcastic clapping on my side of the screen.

24. Well aren't you getting all Live Action Yaoi retro with your bad self?

Dominant Yakuza and Wimpy Corporate Slave gets my vintage af award. I flipping LOVED it. Would I recommend it? Only if you, yourself, are a bit vintage.

Final question: which of the 24 was the hardest for me to pick?

20 Biggest disappointment of 2024. Look I had some pretty high expectations of some returning pairs, some great ideas, and some intriguing remakes. 2024 was full of disappointments.

2022's Version of the Quirkies

2023's Version of the Quirkies

Remember I only pull from shows that were completely finished by the end of 2024.

(source)

[fangsandfeels]

"Everyone gets along because there is a threat", yadda, yadda, yadda.

Bullshit. This is not how real scenarios work and it has never been.

russia is a global threat right now, but the world can't decide between sucking its dick and politely asking it to stop because the mere thought of confronting russia makes it shit its pants. The very few countries who scream into the void, warning about russia and telling people to wake the fuck up are ignored and viewed as crazy doomsayers.

This is how real crisis looks like. Nobody works together against a threat because people are spineless cowards who would rather throw their neighbors under the bus than fight. Nobody learned anything from history lessons, books or survivors.

The only difference in a fantasy game is that NPCs end up having more spine and moral principles than real people.

But in Veilguard, everyone gets along because they have NO reasons not to.

Davrin has no real reasons to beef (if you can call it that) with Lucanis because he is a Grey Warden. He knows where Grey Wardens take their conscripts from. He knows that Grey Wardens regularly recruit mages who are a lot more likely to get possessed if they're not careful. Working with an assassin who knows friend from foe isn't the worst thing ever. One subtle warning about taking action if demon takes over is enough.

Taash has no reasons to antagonize Emmrich aside from horrible writing.

Neve gets along with Bellara because writers gave Bellara a happy childhood with her family and turned Dalish artifacts into Apple store gadgets, while refusing giving Neve any nuance as the citizen of Tevinter.

Emmrich gets along with everyone because he is generally a kind and well-mannered person who doesn't like to stir the pot.

Any companion who could have had a sharp edge, got that edge ripped off and a cartoon band-aid slapped on.

Never doesn't deal with people who don't know about Shadow Dragons (and they probably shouldn't know much because when you work against a powerful government who wants to destroy you, you shouldn't show off), so she constantly has to deal with the fact that people assume she is a noble or a slave-owner because she is from Tevinter; that they don't know that she had to literally fight against being enslaved herself because in Tevinter mages who refuse to use their power to dominate others are turned into slaves as well.

Bellara isn't conflicted about working with humans, especially Tevinter humans at all. She seems to never have dealt with oppression her whole life and she is super quick to write off Cyrian as evil even though there are clear SIGNS that he was tricked and controlled by the Forgotten One. But no, she never thinks "He is still there, I can save him, I won't lose him again", she goes straight to "Oh nooo my brother is dead to me".

Emmrich doesn't get burdened by people reacting to him and his sincere intention to help with fear, because of all the sinister rumors revolving around necromancers and Nevarra. He isn't hurt by people assuming that he loves death and things dying. If even he openly admitted that he is deeply terrified of death, they wouldn't have believed him.

Harding isn't burdened by the revelation she learned and what to do with it. Should she storm her way to the Orzammar? Should she talk to fellow surface dwarves and reconnect them with their history? Should she never breach the subject because the truth hurts and it's too much pain, too much anger to live with - and maybe she shouldn't let other dwarves go through it?

We don't even have a party divided on what to do with Solas (kill or talk it out)? Even though it's logical to have companions who are convinced that Solas has to die and those who think that he is misguided and can be convinced to stop.

Also, there are NO companions whose background, viewpoints and attitude would rile other companions up. We have no controversial characters whose interactions with the crew Rook would have been forced to intervene in unless they want their team to start throwing hands with each other.

We could have had Imshael - to give EVERYONE a reason to worry, and argue, and have conflicts. We could have had an ex-Venatori Calpernia bashing heads with Neve, Bellara, and Emrich. We could have had a Qunari spy who'd make Lucanis' dagger-arm itch.

If writers didn't forget about the Architect, we could have had an intelligent Darkspawn companion Davrin could be losing his shit around.

Or heck, we could have had a former red templar who got partially (magically?) reversed from their mad state and is now not a mindless beast, but still is on a borrowed time, probably needed due to their strength, but barely tolerated by anyone.

Who is fanatical, mostly because they have to believe they made a noble sacrifice, that it all was for the greater good -- because the truth scares them to their core. Who gives Lucanis shit for being an assassin and abomination, who bashes necromancy, and mages, and talks about purity, while downplaying their own actions as "Yes, these are my sins, but they are for the better world, and I would be proud to die for that world unlike you heathens who would rather ruin it than repent for your flaws". The kind of companion you'd initially want to do nothing with, but who can reveal an entire gallery of fucked up contradictions and trauma if you decide to keep them around.

However, writing such companions takes skill, courage, and requires absence of greedy corpo "we don't want to scare away new players with all that moral nuance" thinking.

[woantohae]

watch (bucky barnes x au! neighbour reader)

Summary: Y/N was attracted to her neighbor, the handsome and charming Bucky Barnes; better known as the man from 216B. She always tried to make their paths meet in the building; If she saw that he was going to get the mail, she would go get hers. She brought him cookies in the hope of winning him over. If she heard that Bucky was attending the neighbors' parties, she was always there. Admiring it from afar, as always. However, one day she overhears something she shouldn't have heard.....

Author's note: this is HEAVY angst (i think so), so i hope you're prepared.

《tags: angst, reader being a sunshine, heavy angst, bucky being an idiot, he realizes to late, mean comments; you know who's coming to make her feel deserved and loved👀》

Y/N had a crush on Bucky.

She was sure of what she felt for the man with black hair and blue eyes. That man who offered to help her with the boxes she was carrying the day she moved into the building. From that moment on, Y/N was under Bucky's charms.

She believed that after that day, a friendship would form between them; It was difficult for her to socialize with people, but that did not take away from the girl's nobility and friendliness.

Unfortunately for her, Bucky barely greeted her and nothing more. The girl thought that perhaps he was shy or had a hard time opening up to people, but seeing him chatting animatedly with the redhead a few floors above, that thought changed.

So she decided to try to start a conversation with him everytime she saw him go to get his mail from the reception. Y/N watched through the peephole in the door as he left his apartment and then went down to look for them. Y/N fixed her hair and let it fall in waves and sighed before casually approaching the man, who seemed to be interested in the mail.

"Oh, hello Bucky," she greets as if taken by surprise.

He looks at her and greets her with a nod.

Y/N looks through her mails while Bucky reads some letters next to her.

"Anything good?" She asks him "I received coupons"

"Uhh, not much. Actually" he says with a tight smile.

"Mhm, yeah. Sometimes I would like to receive one that says I won a lottery" she laughs to keep the conversation afloat, but stops as soon as she sees how Bucky just nods his head "Um, anyway.... how have you been?"

He sighs and grimaces, shrugging his shoulders.

"Everything's fine," he replies and clears his throat "I should probably go. I left the pot on."

She nods her head, and is disappointed that she can't stay by his side longer.

"Oh, yeah, yeah. Go, we don't want to end up with the building on fire," she tries to joke, and he just smiles to seem friendly.

"Goodbye....." he lengthens the word.

She is surprised to notice that Bucky doesn't remember her name. They had already introduced themselves and that time he repeated her name. Twice.

“Y/N” she says.

Bucky repeats it and turns to leave, leaving the girl a little embarrassed.

She didn't want that to stop her from trying to "win him over." Maybe she wasn't the prettiest girl in the building, but she considered herself pretty and enough, and that's what mattered. As she walked up the stairs, she had a conversation with herself. What else could she do for Bucky to be more open with her and start to see her with different eyes? Or even just see her.

She had a hard time talking to people. Every time she was in a conversation and it was her turn to speak, another person would intervene and she would be left with the word in her mouth. Or most people stopped listening to it. She didn't let it get to her, so she just smiled and stayed quiet for the rest of the talk until someone asked her back. She had never had a boyfriend. She had spent all her school and university years studying so that she could get a good job that she would like for the rest of her life, so she had never tried to practice chatting with boys.

Now she was paying the consequences for not being able to chat easily with Bucky.

When she arrived at her apartment, she took a sideways glance at door 216B, where the person she considered the love of her life lived. Pathetic, she knows that.

It's impossible that she could have fallen in love with him so quickly when they barely spoke to each other, or didn't know each other that well. However, she couldn't help but feel her heart skip a beat every time she saw him. She thought that feeling was the closest thing to love. And she would do everything in her power to make it happen.

Maybe baking cookies could help her think of something.

As she was looking for her keys, she heard someone complaining a few meters away from her. The girl turned to look and watched as a boy made an effort to keep the box in his arms while trying to open the door.

"Shit" he curses.

"Oh, do you want help?" She asks the boy whose face cannot be seen because of all the boxes he carries.

"Oh my God, yes. Please" he pleads and laughs lightly.

"Ok, let me see if I can...." The man stretches out his hand as best he can and hands her the keys to the apartment.

She opens the door and lets him enter the place first, followed by her.

"Oh God, thank you" he says leaving the boxes on the floor, then turning to look at her "Thank you so ... wow"

He stares at her and suddenly doesn't know how to continue. She smiles kindly at him and hands him the keys.

"No problem. I remember being like that the first time I arrived too." she doesn't notice how flustered the man is "I'm Y/N Y/L/N. And you are....?"

He reacts and moves his head.

He shakes his hand against hers and introduces himself. "I'm Bob. Well, Robert Reynolds," he says and she smiles.

"And I'm new here. Although... you already realized that." The man puts his arms on his waist and watches as the girl laughs at it.

"Well, Bob. It's nice to meet you," she says with a smile. "I live in the apartment next door. So if you need anything, or a friend, I'm here."

Bob nods with a smile plastered on his face. "Same here" he says, although he corrects himself instantly "Only if you want to, of course. Because we just met and i'm a stranger, so.... i better shut up"

Y/N laughs and finds him cute. "It would be a pleasure, Bob."

Y/N had spent all night trying to make the cookie recipe.

She liked to think she was good at baking, but she would be lying to herself. She had two trays of burnt cookies, which had been later throw in the trash. However, the third time is the charm.

The next day she had gotten up, taken a shower and spent her day completely normally until she decided to go to Bucky's door to bring him the cookies she had prepared. She didn't know what his favorites were, so she made a tray of oatmeal, chocolate chip, and butter cookies. Hoping that the blue-eyed man likes some of the baked ones.

With one hand she holds the plate of cookies, while with the other she fixes her hair and smoothes the skirt of her sundress. Every time she tried to meet him she wanted to look good and attractive, maybe that way that would captivate his attention too.

She sighs and tries to calm down before knocking on the door. "Just a second!" someone says on the other side of the door. Y/N bites her lower lip and smiles when they open the door, only for it to fall from her face when she runs into Sam, the man's roommate.

"Hello Y/N" Sam says with a smile "How are you?"

"Hi Sam, everything's fine. How are you?" Sam grimaces and nods his head.

"Everything's fine here, too. Thanks," he looks down at the girl's plate of cookies. "What do we have here? Baking day?"

Y/N laughs sheepishly and nods her head, waiting for Bucky to come to the door.

"Yes, I was trying out a new recipe and I made these cookies," she says, because they were specifically for a certain man. The girl clears her throat and asks: "Is Bucky home?"

Sam looks at her mischievously and shakes his head. He calls out to him with a shout and when the man appears next to him, Y/N feels her heart race at the sight of him. He looks handsome, like every day.

"Hi Bucky" she says nervously.

"Oh, hi" he says taken by surprise "What are you doing here?"

Y/N holds out her plate of cookies and offers them to Bucky, all while Sam watches from inside of the apartment.

"Um, I made these cookies last night and... I thought you might like them," she corrects herself immediately. "Well, you both might like them."

Bucky frowns slightly and receives his plate. "Thank you. I'm sure Sam will like them." Bucky says with the plate in his hands. "I don't eat sugar."

Sam looks at him from afar, raising an eyebrow.

"Oh, I... I didn't know. I'm sorry," she says immediately, while blushing. "But the oatmeal ones are sugar-free. You might like those."

"Yeah... i don't know. Honestly i don't like cookies" she feels a pang in her chest "But i'll try them"

Y/N smiles again and nods her head, feeling more hopeful about it.

"Well, i hope you like them. I can make another dessert next time, if you like" she offers while fidgeting with her fingers.

Bucky just nods and looks at her kindly, but it seems like he doesn't want to be there anymore.

"Thank you Jennie" he says and she frowns.

“I’m Y/N.” Bucky laughs and shakes his head.

"I'm sorry. Y/N," he corrects himself and starts with his arm to close the door. "Have a good day, Y/N."

"You too, Bucky."

She didn't think this was what the interaction might be like when she brought him the plate of cookies. Bucky looked uncomfortable receiving them, and she didn't like that. The girl thought that he might have a different reaction—maybe fall in love with her on the spot (very ridiculous to even think about)—and he would be nicer to her. Or he would invite her to eat the cookies together. But none of that happened.

Even the thanks turned out to be a bit cold to hear.

Bucky had barely looked at the girl's dress, or at her. She felt disappointed every time she had these encounters with the man. Why did it have to be so difficult to talk to him?

That wasn't going to stop her though. She still had a chance to get closer to him.

Just wait and see, she told to herself.

It was common for the people in the building to have these small parties on the roof. The vast majority attended and brought their own meals and desserts to share among everyone.

Y/N didn't frequent those celebrations much, because she always stayed in a corner watching the rest interact. She hated that she had to be so shy in that way and not have the gift of socializing. The girl had tried, but when she didn't feel the other person's interest, she would simply withdraw. Tonight, however, she was going to attend one of those parties.

Perhaps the reason may have been the fact that Bucky would be attending with Sam. Plus there would be free food already prepared, so the girl wouldn't have to worry about cooking.

When Y/N was dressed, she grabbed her dessert, a sugar-free flan—since Bucky didn't eat sweets—and walked up the stairs to the roof. The music could already be heard with every step she took, but at a reasonable volume so as not to disturb the rest. When she saw the place, she tried to look for the black haired man, but she couldn't see him anywhere.

The only one she saw was Bob standing in a corner with a can of soda; he looked out of place and somewhat uncomfortable. She understood that, in addition to being new, it could be that it was difficult for him to open up to people as was the case with her. The girl left the prepared dessert on the table, greeting some neighbors out of politeness, and approached Bob, who smiled at her when he saw her.

"Hi Bob," she greets.

He stands up straight and waves his hand to accompany the greeting.

“Hello Y/N.”

"Aren't these types of parties your scene?" she asks him, tilting her head to the side.

He lets out a humorless laugh and looks down at his drink. "Parties in general aren't my scene," he replies and takes the last sip of his soda.

Y/N nods her head.

"Same here" they both laugh and immerse themselves in a conversation to get to know each other better.

Bob had told her that a long time ago he used to attend much more produced and crazy parties, but he had hit rock bottom and had promised himself not to go back to that past. Y/N listened carefully and understood his part of his story, making him feel comfortable and not judging him for it. They seemed to understand each other well and feel a genuine friendship forming. Although it seemed that the brown-haired man felt more than that for the girl.

The girl's attention that was on Bob was stolen by the man who had entered the party with a confident aura and style. Y/N subtly fixed her hair and excused herself from Bob to go greet Bucky. But just when she was about to touch his shoulder and greeting him, a blonde approached him and hugged him with a close and passionate complicity.

Y/N sighed and tried to clear her mind by eating a muffin.

A couple of minutes later, she tried to go to the bathroom before continuing to talk to Bob. She turned a corner and before she could knock the door to make sure no one was there, she was surprised to hear her name called.

"..... are you sure there's nothing going on with Y/N?" The blonde, named Sharon, asks.

There is a gap in the bathroom door. Y/N doesn't want to look, but she's curious to hear her name. Bucky has Sharon against the bathroom wall and laughs when she asks the question. Had the blonde asked him if there was something between her and Bucky? Does Bucky really look at her the way she expected him to and never noticed that before?

"Why do you ask me that?" He asks with an amused voice.

"Because I've seen you two being together these days. At the reception, her bringing you desserts, her asking about you and even taking packages to your apartment" Sharon explains, while Bucky's arms slip around her waist "And she looks at you like you hung the moon"

Y/N feels ashamed about that.

"I assure you that nothing happens between her and me. Nothing will ever happen" he responds confidently, and laughs sarcastically "I could never notice a girl who is so crazy about me. She annoys me every time she tries to talk to me or gives me desserts; the other day I had to tell her that I didn't eat sugar to make her stop, but she insisted on making me one without sugar" he laughs along with Sharon.

"I would never like her. She is so dorky and so childish, and i don't wanna sound like an idiot but i need a woman, not a kid" he says and Sharon laughs "Someone like you.... probably. Now, can we continue making out?"

Y/N feels tears well up in her eyes as she hears how cruel his words are, even though they might be true. However, she didn't deserved that.

Bucky Barnes has break her heart.

The next few days, Y/N stopped chasing him.

After hearing what he thought of her, she had promised herself not to lose her dignity and not to waste her time with someone who wasn't worth it. Obviously, she had a hard time doing it at first, but she had to get over her crush at some point.

Y/N tried to avoid going to get her mail, and if she did, she tried to be wary of being seen by Bucky. It wasn't like Bucky had seen her outside the bathroom that day, but she didn't want to have to face him after what he said about her. The girl no longer baked him cookies, desserts, or anything. She thought it had been a waste of flour and eggs on someone who didn't appreciate it.

These days she spent swallowing her pain alone, but not completely on her own.

Bob was there trying to clear her head of what had happened.

He had followed her that day when he noticed that she was taking a long time, and when he found her with her teary eyes, he thought about looking for the unfortunate guy who provoked that reaction in the girl just to take care of him. He thinks he knows who it was: Bucky Barnes. He had seen how Y/N's eyes had lit up as soon as she saw him arrive.

Right now, they were both in the living room of Y/N's apartment while eating pizza and watching a movie. It had become a routine for them, where every Friday they would get together after work and enjoy their free time. As friends, of course.

Bob kept sneaking glances at Y/N as she hummed the songs from The Wizard of Oz, and he couldn't deny how cute she looked. It wasn't hard to see that the boy had feelings for her since he met her, something he thought was impossible to feel just minutes after meeting her.

But love works in mysterious ways.

Bob couldn't keep his feelings quiet any longer, especially after seeing how hurt Y/N was about Bucky. He would wait as long as he has to wait for her to know what he feels.

After the movie ended, Bob felt Y/N's head on his shoulder and felt his heart race at the sight of her sleeping so peacefully. He didn't want to move so as not to disturb her, but he had to answer the door after hearing repeated knocks on it.

The man left the girl lying on the couch, covering her with a blanket up to her neck. Then, he walked to the door and opened it without looking at who it was, only to get a tasteless surprise when he saw that it was Bucky. The black-haired man seemed sure before his face fell when he saw Bob receiving it.

"Who are you?" Bucky asks with a frown.

Bob closes the door a little to cover his view of the apartment inside, where Y/N was sleeping. The brunette clenches his jaw and crosses his arms.

"What are you doing here?" Bob answers him with another question.

"I asked you first," Bucky says.

"I asked you second," he counters.

Bucky laughs unamusedly and shakes his head. "I brought Y/N the mail. She hasn't come for it in days and... well, I haven't seen her in a while" Bucky explains, showing him the letters in his hands.

Bucky gets defensive and crosses his arms.

"Now, tell me, who are you?" Bob looks at him without taking his eyes off him. "I've never seen you around; I'm surprised that Y/N has a man in her apartment."

Bob laughs at the audacity of the man in front of him.

"You're an asshole" he mutters for himself "You should be surprised at what an idiot you've been to her."

Bucky looks confused.

"I haven't been an idiot to her. Whenever she talks to me I respond and accept everything she bakes for me, that's not being an idiot."

"No, that's not" Bob interferes "Being an idiot is to talk nonsense about her in the bathroom during the party and say that she is dorky and childish because of the crush she had on you."

Bucky freezes at that.

"She had a crush on me?"

Bob laughs without believing this guy.

"She was pretty much in love with you" Bob shakes his head "I would think she would be crazy to have felt that way about you, having known you for such a short time and to you being an asshole to her. But I know it was true because I feel the same way about her, even having met her a few weeks ago."

Bucky swallows and feels ashamed of how he treated her and what he said in the bathroom that time. The man had no intention of letting her hear him, but he couldn't go back in time and change it. It was already done.

"You say you're in love with her?" Bucky asks.

"Is that the only thing that stuck out in your mind from what I told you?" Bob asks in disbelief.

Bucky shrugs, the cards forgotten in his hands.

"Yes. I like Y/N" Bob admits "That's not relevant now, because I want you to realize what a shitty person you were to her when she only asked for you to really look at her. She deserves better."

The black-haired man laughs. "And you think you're the best choice for her?"

Bob shakes his head. "I could never be enough for someone as beautiful, tender and dedicated as her," the brunette admits and clears his throat. "But for her, I would give my best to see her happy. Something you could have done, but you ruined it with your damn mouth."

Bucky is silent for a few minutes. He looks down, tensing his jaw, and then hands the letters to the brunette.

"I'm sorry," he admits and the brunette looks at him. "Tell her I'm sorry and that I won't be an idiot with her anymore. I'm willing to talk to her if she wants"

Bob nods.

Bucky walks away to go to his apartment and disappear from Bob's sight, who sighs and closes the door. He puts the cards aside and turns around to be surprised by Y/N, who is standing a few steps away from him.

"Y/N..."

"Is it true?" she asks him.

Bob blinks in confusion.

"What thing?"

"That you're in love with me?"

Bob opens his mouth to respond but closes it when he realizes that it won't help him to lie; She's already heard it come from his lips.

Bob nods his head.

"Yeah. I like you, Y/N" he starts to say "But I don't want this to change and you feel uncomfortable because of what I said and what I feel. I can...."

She hugs him and he puts his arms around her, closing his eyes.

"I can't say I'm in love with you, but I do like spending time with you and being around you, Bob," she smiles and he feels his heart race. "I like you, and I don't want you to think I'm doing this because just now you admitted it and Bucky was a fool. I really like you, and I'd like us to go slow."

"I would very much like that, actually" Bob agrees with her.

She smiles and kisses his cheek.

"Although, you still need to talk to Bucky" Bob says "He looked sorry for everything he did"

Y/N nods.

"I know" she says firmly "But right now i wanna be with you"

They both hug again, hoping to start something new between them.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Angst with Villain finding out their lover is hero pleasepleaepleaspleadepl—

The villain put the bloody suit onto the table and sat down next to the hero.

In an instant, their lover put down the coffee mug with a shaking hand and stared. First at the torn clothing dipped in blood, then at the villain. Their eyes were wide and they looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"Take your time," the villain said. They were curious if the hero was going to come up with any excuses, other lies that fit into their web of a smartly constructed fairytale. A fairytale of being a civilian — a poor, innocent person who happened to fall in love with the big bad villain.

"What is there to say?" the hero whispered. "I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have."

"I told you who I am when we hooked up for the first time," the villain said. They took in a deep breath. A part of them feared the hero had left the suit in the bedroom on purpose, another suspected this entire relationship to be a way of obtaining information.

Both options hurt equally. God, the villain would have probably not cared if the hero had told them in the very beginning. But the lying? The hiding? While the hero knew about them?

"I never meant to hurt you." The villain looked at their, well, lover and tilted their head, not quite understanding how the hero could say something like that. Something that wasn’t mirroring their actions in any way.

"I was honest with you from the very start." The villain brushed the hero's throat with their fingertips, feeling the heated skin burn the ends of their fingers. Gently, they pushed against the hero's windpipe with just the right amount of pressure they knew the hero liked. "But you lied to me."

The hero grabbed the villain's wrist and squeezed hard, just like the villain liked it. They couldn’t help it.

Despite the pain, they wanted the intimacy, they wanted everything to be fine again and the hero seemed to be wanting the same thing.

"I'm sorry," the hero said. "Truly, I should have said something."

The villain increased the pressure on the hero's throat for only a second. Killing the hero now would have solved 90% of their current problems but neither their heart nor their soul agreed on doing so.

Instead, they grabbed the hero's jaw and followed their jawline with their thumb.

They weren't sure if they hated the hero.

The hero with their crooked smile, with their obsessive fascination for video games, their hero with their strange knowledge about random history facts, their lover who didn't like tomatoes, who went to bed late at night, who overworked themselves constantly.

How was it that the villain hesitated now? How was it that they couldn't get rid of someone who caused most of their problems?

"So, you were going to tell me? When exactly?"

"Honey..."

"Don't."

"I didn't know, I thought I could quit eventually. Or you'd quit and we could start a new life. I fell in love and I couldn't help it. I wanted to be selfish just this once, I wanted a normal civilian life, I wanted not to be the hero for once. I wanted someone to take care of me. Someone strong." The hero looked away, their gaze full of pain. "When I'm with you, I don't have to be the hero. I'm not being treated like a hero. I liked that."

"You knew about me, though." The villain clenched their free hand, trying to make sense of the things the hero was saying. "You lied to me."

"Please, I didn't want to hurt you. I never meant to...for me it's just work. It's not personal. It had nothing to do with you."

"Did you use me this entire time? Every time I talked about my plans, did you just use that to your advantage?" The villain could hear their own voice shake. How was this even real? How was this happening? Yesterday they had thought about ways to propose and now, they were going to throw the hero out of the apartment.

How was the villain always the fool? Always the person who couldn't possibly be happy permanently?

"You know me better than that," the hero said. "If you want to kill me now, go ahead. You have every right to be angry at me."

The villain stared at them. They could feel the hero's heartbeat pulsating against their palm.

But they couldn't. They couldn't.

And instead, they leaned forward, loosened their grip and kissed the hero. One last time. It was quick and left the villain - surprisingly - not strangely empty but rather achingly sore inside. They pulled away, blinked the tears out of their own eyes.

"Be gone by tomorrow, will you?"

The hero took in a quivering breath and nodded.

"Whatever you want."

And so it was.

[sarawritestories]

Oh Gods I Wish You Were Here

Cassian X Fem Reader

Summary: The holidays are fast approaching, and Cassian can feel the void now more than ever.

Content warning: mention of death, holidays, grief, and tears probably, not proofread.

A/N: Not how I intended to come back, but I got in my feelings, and this was the result.

Don't take it personally that I didn't tag this one...I just wanted to get it out as the words came.

Joy to the world. The war was over Feyre's birthday was upon them, along with Winter Solstice. Velaris snow covered, warm lights illuminating the longer evenings. Cassian could hear your daughter laughing alongside his cousin Nyx. All was right with the world.

Just not Cassian's.

As he looked at the daughter, the two of you shared, he reached out that familiar bond, and he did his best to cover his flinch as a reaction to the winter breeze rolling in. And not the ache of the end of the fading gold bond being hollow. The painful reminder that you were not here. Not watching your daughter growing up or laughing at his corny jokes.

The Mother was cruel.

"Daddy," he smiled, swallowing the tears threatening to form, "Nyx said we get to go decorate the tree at Auntie FeyFey and Uncle Rhysie's house" Aria, your 6 year old, raised her arms up and was in Cassian's embrace in an instant, his wings curving to block the wind. "Can we, pretty please?"

Cassian wanted to fall to his knees. She had your smile, the twinkle in your eye when you were excited about something. It wasn't fair.

You should have been the one to soak in these moments. To enjoy in the holiday luster. To see your child grow into a person. To see that she had your looks, personality, and your mate's whole heart.

But illness doesn't discriminate. It takes and it takes. He continues to take until its victim has nothing left, and the General of the Night Court's army only had a tombstone, and the memories you both shared as illness managed to claim another innocent soul.

Cassian had no time to grieve as Aria needed him, needed him to live, to move forward, to get out of the bed. He had to live so that Aria had her best chance at life.

The sounds of familiar voices hit his ears as Nyx led him and Aria to the townhouse, a continual meeting place for Solstice. Rhys greeted them, and Aria was greedy to get out of her father's arms and embrace her uncle. "Can we decorate the tree?"

Rhys laughed and kissed her cheek, "Of course, Starlight. Go find Auntie FeyFey and Uncle Az." Aria was quick to grab Nyx's hand, leaving the two Illyrian males behind. Rhys' gaze met his, and talons scratched at Cassian's walls.

"I'm fine," Cassian grumbled.

"Well, over 500 years, and you are still a horrific liar." Rhys flicks some lint off his shirt and sits on the stoop. Cassian joined him his wings tucked in tight. "I know the holidays are hard."

Cassian shook his head, "Aria, started school. She's made friends and takes art classes. It's not fair, Rhys. Aria shouldn't have to learn about her through stories at night time. She should be here Rhys." Cassian tucked his face in his hand a sob racking out of his body. "I want her here."

Rhys held his friend tightly. As Cassian roared, "Oh God's I wish you were here!" The door creaked open, and tiny hands gripped onto Cassian's wrist. He uncovered his face to see Aria smiling. "I'm sorry, Sweetheart," he sniffled as he pulled his child to his chest, trying to compose himself from his outburst.

Aria kissed his cheek, "Look, Daddy. A gift for you. Uncle Azzy said you could open it early." An envelope with his name in her tiny hands with...your handwriting. He gently took it from the small child and opened it.

Hey Handsome,

If you're reading this, then it must be Solstice, and our little girl is not so little anymore. I need you to know that if you're reading this that I fought hard. I fought so that you would never had to open these. I think we both know the outcome. I know you are hurting. I know you are fighting to keep our girl safe and protected and loved. I will never be able to thank you enough for the bravery you had before, during, and after this hardship.

Know I'm there with you, every big milestone, every storytime, every boo boo you kiss for Aria. And I'll be there through the bad stuff too, I'm sure. I get to look down at you from the stars and make sure you're safe and protected, for once. I love you, Cassian. I promise that we will find each other in the next life and we will have more time. There are letters for both you and Aria for big milestones, Az was given strict instructions on when to deliver them for you. When the world seems like too much and the void is too great, maybe my words will help the two of you grow and move on in my absence.

All My Love,

Your Sweetheart.

"Daddy?" Aria looked at him with eyes that matched his own, "what did it say?" Cassian smiled aware that the two were now alone

Cassian held her close and looked up at the stars, illuminating the town. "Look up at the night sky, little one." She did, and as the two looked on, a star flashed across the star, and Cassian heard her little gasp. "That was Mommy. She was letting us know she was here."

Aria snuggled against her father's chest, "I miss her." She whispered.

"Me too, Princess, me too." And the duo looked up at the night sky and wished that their favorite person was looking back at them.

~Fin

[outlanderskin]

S says anything to anyone in order to personally profit. He kept you in check with innuendoes of your SC fantasy when it was clear from the beginning that there was never anything between them. CT have been together from the beginning of OL (no she and S didn't sleep together in the first 2 months or anytime after she moved to Glasgow in September). CT's relationship grew organically, dated, got engaged, married and had a child together. S hired Raya women including a paid escort to prove he's macho and looking ridiculous.

She's been living her life with family and friends attending high end event while he's been shilling his booze with a dubious business partner. Yeah, they couldn't be more different but to you she's the problem who infringes on his right to tell the word about his fake wife and unlimited boos.

Usually, there comes a time when the worst of the madness subsides and disappears even when no recognition of shipper deceit is forthcoming as in the case of many who quietly left. Not in the case of the ones still left. Not sure if I should feel sorry or scared that there are women like you walking among us.

This is a fun type of Ask to answer, so let's take it one step at a time so we don't miss any details.

"S says anything to anyone in order to personally profit. He kept you in check with innuendoes of your SC fantasy when it was clear from the beginning that there was never anything between them."

You're talking about the wrong side of the fandom. Sam's sales strategies are not aimed at shippers. Your statements make me think that you've been living under a rock for the past ten years.

CT have been together from the beginning of OL (no she and S didn't sleep together in the first 2 months or anytime after she moved to Glasgow in September)"

Don't you think it's weird to do mental calculations about someone else's sex life?

CT's relationship grew organically, dated, got engaged, married and had a child together.

Organically? If you think anything in that whole story is organic, then I feel sorry for the kind of loving relationship you must have in your life.

Another thing: every time you use the acronym CT I automatically think of computerized tomography, so please come up with another acronym for your ship.

"S hired Raya women including a paid escort to prove he's macho and looking ridiculous."

I think deep down you know that this whole circus is made exactly to be consumed by people like you who care and believe in everything. You can't deny that it worked, you just proved that you cared, in other words, you took the bait.

Well, I hope this side of Cait's life inspires you and you decide to live a normal life with family and friends, going to cool places and getting out of the basement where you live. I also think you could follow Sam's example and look for a job. The fact that you criticize him for working hard makes me think that you are the kind of person we call "allergic to work" here.

What you wrote here is very confusing. Are you okay?... And about "unlimited boos" Well, I think you wrote to the wrong blog.

Honestly, you should look for a better automatic translator. If you want some advice, I think the best thing would be an English course. And if English is your language, please go back to school urgently.

I'm sorry to inform you, but we're not going anywhere. We're here and we'll stay here. You shouldn't feel sorry or afraid of our presence in this fandom. In fact, you should feel blessed to know that there are still intelligent, resilient, and humorous people in this fandom. It's a big contrast to the side you live on.

BTW, it's because of asks like yours that we came to the following conclusion:

[always-too-many-daisies]

I have too many thoughts about Jeremy Brett and most of them are making me too sad...

As far as we know, Jeremy was often scared of Holmes, scared of playing him but also obsessed and fascinated by the character. I kind of feel this way now about Jeremy due to this hyperfocus phase of mine...

This week I've finished listening to all the episodes of The Jeremy Brett Sherlock Holmes Podcast including all the interviews with Granada team members and guest stars who knew Jeremy. The interview with Prim Hardwicke was lovely. The interview with June Wyndham Davies was just heartbreaking. Hearing that she saw him when he was at his lowest mentally, probably suffering from psychosis and hallucinations caused by mania... It just makes me sad and frustrated that CHAD is generally so hard to treat, that you should take medicine all the time and ideally be in therapy and or/getting good psychoeducation and Jeremy didn't really have access to the knowledge on this disorder and level of care and support we have now... (even if now it's also often shitty and depends on your privilege). It's also so... scary - I think- that his mental and physical health was deteriorating at the same time. It would be hard enough to suffer from one thing but both... it's just wrecking. Also, June saying that Jeremy called her days before his death and to say goodbye...

On the brighter note, I think that it's amazing that despite the fact that Jeremy's friends were often hurt by him due to his disroder everyone was like "Oh Jeremy said some horrible stuff but I know it wasn't him because he was a lovely person, it was just his illness". I think it's beautiful to be remembered this way.

When I get too sad from all this I try to remember that he has been a successfull actor for like 25+ years before his ilnesses hit him hard. He is very much defined by the public by this last decade of his life because of Sherlock but maybe he shouldn't be.

Jeremy... I will never know you but you truly inspire me to be brave, to live and create.

[watchmegetobsessed]

ON REPEAT

A/N: we all saw the vid of him tongueing his guitar... yeah... the devil works hard but i work harder

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

WARNING: sexual content

SUMMARY: As his personal assistant, you definitely shouldn't be havin dirty thoughts of Harry, especially not about the way his tongue on his guitar. But it's hard to resist and you need relief, but you never thought your boss would be more than willing to help you out.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

You watch it happen and in a third of a second you are no different than the screaming girls out there in the pit and the stands, only that you can’t scream from the top of your lungs when Harry mimics to be playing his guitar with his tongue.

It’s vile. It’s maddening and it should definitely not turn you on the way it does, because he is your boss. He is not just a rock star for you, a person far out of your reach, he is your job, you manage his everyday life for a living so you surely should not be having dirty thoughts at the sight of his tongue on a guitar’s neck.

But you do. You very much do and the fantasies are so bad you can actually feel your panties getting wet in an instant as you stand by the stage and watch him carry his performance on as if he didn’t just destroy all ovaries in the arena and because there’s probably hundreds of videos now of his little stunt, you know it will continue to sweep through the whole world by the morning.

The after show period is the same as always. Harry runs off stage, he changes faster than lightning and before the first people could step out of the arena the two of you are in the backseat of a car, heading out to avoid the traffic his own show usually creates.

“You’re quiet tonight,” he comments.

You don’t dare to look at him, especially not because you can smell him from this close, locked up together in the car. The smell of his shower gel from before the show is still lingering on his skin but it is not mixed with his sweat, the smell of his own body that you spent two hours to stare at and have the most ravenous and lustful thoughts you’ve ever had since you’ve realized you have a crush on your boss.

This is what hell must be like.

“I’m good, just tired,” you shrug and continue staring out the window. You can feel his excruciating gaze on you, it’s burning your skin, but you keep your eyes on the outside world, hoping to survive this five minute car ride without moaning or whimpering in front of him.

You practically run to your room once you’ve parted ways in the hallway and when you throw yourself onto the perfectly made bed you scream into the pillow, letting out the pent up frustration you battled with all evening.

Out of all men in the world why did you have to fall for your boss? Why do you find him the best looking man to ever exist? Your body and mind has betrayed you and now you have to bear the consequences of it.

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip when you pull your phone out and go online, looking for a video of the guitar stunt. It takes about five seconds to stumble upon it and because it was taken by a fan, it was recorded from a lower point and it just adds to the weight of it.

You watch it over and over and over… and over again.

And before you could even realize what you’re doing, your hand is between your legs, applying pressure at the right spot over your shorts, your heart beat is picking up and an occasional swear word leaves your parted lips every once in a while.

What you don’t notice is that you did not close your room’s door fully when you rushed inside, so when Harry comes over to ask if he could grab your phone charger, because his just died, he can easily push the door open and step inside without making a sound when he hears your whimpers and the video playing over and over again.

He knows which part it is, he remembers it clearly, because he knew it would make his fans go crazy, but he did not expect to catch you watching it back… and enjoy it this much.

He stays hidden for a bit and selfishly listens to your sounds. Adrenaline boosts through his veins as he realizes that you’re playing with yourself while watching the video of him and well… it is definitely doing things to him.

Just like the shorts you were wearing tonight, all those silky skin you were showing, the curve of your ass peeking out from underneath, Harry had to take a second shower when he saw you bend down for something. And now he caught you playing with yourself while thinking about him.

He knows he has to make a decision. Walk out, close the door and pretend he never heard anything or walk in and do what he’s been fantasizing about probably since he hired you to be his assistant.

His legs move before the decision is processed in his mind.

He walks out from his hiding spot and it takes a moment for you to register his presence and realize that it’s not just a hallucination, he did in fact just walk into your room while you were masturbating to a video of him.

“Oh my God!” you scream and the phone goes flying out of your hands, dropping to the floor, but the video is still playing. Your heart is threatening to burst right out of your chest and jump to Harry’s feet and you’re trying to grab the sheets to cover yourself even though you’re not naked, but Harry is quick to climb onto the bed and stop you from doing it. To put some more distance between the two of you, you push up against the headboard and shut your legs closed tight, horror etched onto your face as your mind is racing, trying to find a way to explain yourself, but you know there’s nothing you could say that would get you out of this mess.

Harry, on the other hand, is enjoying this more than he should, probably. The shame on your face, the way your body is still in a state of lust but also in shock, this is thrilling, knowing he did this to you, the woman who is usually so laid back he can’t ever read your body language.

His eyes are glued to your face as he reaches out and places his hands on your trembling knees. Part of him is disappointed you’re not rambling, trying to talk yourself out of it, but it’s also hot that you are not denying what you’ve been just caught doing.

“Open your legs, Y/N,” he speaks up in a husky, gut wrenching voice and if you weren’t scared for your life (and job), you might have come just from that.

When you don’t move, just stare back at him, he applies the tiniest bit of pressure on your knees to push them apart and your body gives up resistance instantly.

The hunger that flashes through his eyes when he sees that you’ve drenched your panties and shorts good enough to have a visible spot on them, right in front of him now sends a shiver down your spine. And then when he reaches out and runs just one single finger, his middle finger down the seam, you fear your soul has left your body.

“I can leave you and finish on your own, Y/N. Or I can do it for you. Your choice.”

Fuck, your mind feels so heavy and fogged up, you are not in the state to make a decision, let alone one that could have an effect on your life, but it’s like there’s an emergency window has been broken and something else has taken over you, you find yourself speaking up.

“I want you to do it.”

The smirk that spreads across his face twists your inside and you don’t even have time to process it when he climbs over you like a hungry lion and claims your mouth in a deep, demanding kiss that has you seeing stars.

With his mouth still devouring your lips, one of his hands move to grab yours and brings it over to his head.

“If you want to grab onto something, it can only be my hair, understood?” he talks against your mouth and all you can do is nod and let out a whimper. He smirks, so pleased with himself before moving back down and sitting down between your now open legs. He hooks his fingers into your shorts and underwear at the same time and then tugs them down with a swift motion, baring you in front of him, revealing just how much he has turned you on.

“Fuck, baby. Look at you! So wet and ready for me. It’s not the first time I’ve turned you on, right?” His eyes snap up to meet you as he reaches out and runs two of his fingers down your cunt. The touch feels like electricity, your whole body reacts and your knees start shaking.

“No,” you breathe out.

“That’s what I thought,” he chuckles lowly. “Next time, Y/N, you’re coming straight to me. No toying, no touching yourself, I want to be the only one to make you come. Understood?”

You just nod again, but this time he doesn’t take it as an answer.

“I need you to use your pretty voice.”

“Understood,” you manage to speak out, but the word melts into a moan when his fingers start circling on your clit.

“Good girl.”

Fast and graciously, he gets onto his stomach and before you could even appreciate the sight of him between your legs, his mouth latches onto your pussy and it’s game over for you.

You vaguely remember his request to only hold onto his hair and that’s what you do, you grab his chocolate curls with so much force it stings his scalp, but it also sends waves of pleasure down is groin as well while.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to you that he is fucking amazing in it, that Harry Styles can eat pussy like he does it for a living, that his mouth and tongue know exactly what to do to have your eyes roll to the back of your head from the pleasure. It’s scandalous that he is so good at everything and deep down you already know you’ll never find a man who could eat you out like this ever again.

“Harry, of my God!” you groan out, your back arching when you feel his tongue pushing inside you before it’s replaced by his fingers again.

Harry has heard you say his name a million times in every possible way. Or so he thought. Because this lustful, begging, whiny way is a new way and it is easily his favorite now.

He would want nothing more than to have you some on his mouth, but he also want to selfishly eat up your moans as you orgasm, so right before you could reach your peak he pulls back. You’re just about to complain when he moves up your body and his mouth occupies yours, his hand remaining between your legs, two fingers curling inside you just as he kisses you again. You shake and squirm and his fingers are working their magic on you and you realize you should be giving back as well.

With your lips attached to his you manage to reach down and into his pants, Harry tries to protest, only wanting this to be about you but he is too late and when he feels your hand wrap around his cock, giving him a delicious squeeze, the words die down in his throat.

You both are one big mess. Hands between each other’s legs, mouths hungrily colliding, it’s a state that’s almost too much but you also don’t want this to ever end. When you can feel your orgasm threatening to tip over the edge you start to stroke him faster and harder which earns the most beautiful, torturous moan to bubble from his throat.

You come hard and long, gasping for air, his name rolling off your tongue and into his mouth and he swallows it already wanting more. Your hands fall out of rhythm for a bit, but as soon as you’re coming off your high you return to pleasuring him and when you hook a leg over his waist the position ending up with his tip pressing against your pussy he gives you a look that says he is just about to chase after you.

A few more strokes and he is coming over your stomach, spilling his pleasure onto your shirt and the bedsheet as well, but you couldn’t care less. You keep your hands moving until you know he has given you his all and then you both roll to your back and stare up at the ceiling in your post orgasm haze.

You have absolutely no idea how much time passes before Harry pushes himself up from the bed and disappears in the bathroom only to return with a damp towel. Climbing back next to you he gently cleans you up between your legs and also wipes your stomach before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss above your belly button. Throwing the towel beside the bed he moves closer and curls an arm around your waist as he holds himself up on his other arm, looking down at you with bright, gleaming eyes.

“What?” you ask when he just keeps staring at you.

“I know I shouldn’t be talking about work right now, but I need you to do something.”

For a moment you fear that the aftermath of it all will be a disaster and he is bringing up work because he wants this to be just a one time thing and might be already regretting it.

“Okay,” you breathe out with wide eyes, which makes Harry laugh.

“I need you to cancel your rooms for the rest of the tour.”

“What?” Terror flashes through your body for a moment, thinking that he is about to fire you.

“You’re gonna sleep in my room, because I want to do this every night. On repeat. And even more.”

This fucker.

Smacking his chest you groan in relief as he just keeps laughing at your reaction.

“You couldn’t have possibly thought I would kick you out after this. Y/N, what kind of man do you think I am?” he pretends to be hurt.

“An asshole! That’s what you are!”

“But you want this asshole, right? In your bed.” He leans down and kisses you. “Between your legs.” Another kiss. “All the time. Right?”

“Fuck off,” you mumble, but pull his face down anyway, kissing away your frustration with how much you truly want and how cocky he will be about this for probably the longest time ever.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[ziminy]

Coming back to you

How to get back with your ex

Tags: smut, ageless blogs do not interact, f!reader, normal au (because we suffered enough), my bbg Caleb the manipulative king he is (break me in half and all I'll say is thank you), implied stalking (if you squint), creampie, oral (f! receiving), fingering, marking, dirty talk, praising, size difference, little bit of crying, not proofread

Author's note: almost lvl 60 affinity with him, it was hard work and a lot of dedication. Trust me when I say I won't be able to recover financially from this any time soon.

Masterlist

Life was good when you were together, and somehow it even better after breaking up. It's not like your split up was messy, because you two parted ways on mutual accord, deciding that this isn't going to work since both of you were so busy lately. Why dragging the other down when you have your futures set?

In fact, the break up wasn't even supposed to be a break up, you were supposed to take a little break from each other that turned into a break up some time later. You said that you'd still be friends, that it's alright to talk and greet each other if you somehow managed to meet again.

But it was all lies. Both of you knew that. Because you never texted each other after that, and somehow you tried to avoid all the places he might be at. You don't really know why you're doing that, if just.. you feel a little uncomfortable looking back at what you two used to have.

Perhaps it was the way he looked at you, how he leaned down to talk to you, or that dumb smile that made your heart skip a beat.

He was caring, attentive, maybe a bit obsessive, perhaps a bit insane too. And maybe that what scared you, kept you away from dating again. Finding another one like him. God, what if you had the misfortune to wake up with another one like him at your door? You'd rather jump out the window than have the luck of getting another Caleb.

But he was good, in his own ways.

Well.. you can't really name any of his good traits at the moment, but he was a great guy. If you put aside his manipulative side, that he doesn't even try to hide to begin with.

You promised yourself to not fall for another guy like him, that empty words mean nothing to you. Threats had no effect, and you don't feel guilty anymore over things that you shouldn't be to begin with.

So, why was he here? You were supposed to meet with the old friend group, to reconnect and talk about the old days and how college used to be. I mean, he was part of the group, but why exactly was he here? And why did nobody told you he was coming?

"It's so good to see you guys!" one of your friends said, instantly jumping from person to person to hug.

"I feel like we're young again." someone else said, making you shake your head and let out a soft laugh. You can't show that you're affected, you're all grown now, you matured. He had no effect on you anymore. Even if it only been a year, you're still a different person that you were a few months ago.

"We aren't old to begin with." you said with a smile on your face. "How haves everyone been?" you sounded so calm, like you forgot how much stress was put on you back then. Everybody looks in much better shape after graduation, perhaps that place was rough for everyone.

"Let's just skip greetings and drink." of course there was that one person. "Caleb, you pay." everybody's eyes were on the tall man.

"You brought your wallet, no? Why should I pay." your eyes made contact for a moment, and you felt your face getting hotter. This night better go quick, because you don't know for how much longer you can handle this.

Everything was how it was back then, the way you sit in groups at the bar. How you found yourself next to the same girls you used to, deciding that you don't want to be loud and take it easy, just like before.

"So, how have life been for you? Haven't heard anything from you after we graduate." one of the girls looked at you, reminding you of how you chose to go no contact with everybody after your breakup.

"You and Caleb broke up? I thought you'd last a life time." is there nothing better to talk about?

"I'm a career woman now." you decided to change the subject, rather chosing to talk about work that your failed relationship.

"Oh?" why everybody looked so surprised was a mystery. But somehow you understood their reactions, you're also surprised you went this path.

"Got any boyfriends?" they still want to get info on your personal life, huh? Well, guess you won't be able to dodge that question any time soon.

"Nothing at the moment. Just focusing on work."

"I guess it's hard to date again. Normal guys must be so bland, not comparing to that piece of meat over there." you looked displeased with your friends choice of words. Yes, your ex might look good, but looks isn't what matters right now. Your well being was your top priority, and you enjoyed the freedom you had way too much.

"I'd be like that too if I had your ex. Imagine recovering from that." you don't even have to imagine.

"Is it even humanly possible to find somebody who's better than him?" their questions doesn't affect you, because you already know that you're the best you'd find. You understand and give yourself more than enough space that it's needed. So the right questions was if he will be able to find someone as good as you, because he won't.

"He's looking in this direction." the girls started giggling, and somehow, this was nostalgic.

Didn't this happened already? Before you started dating, right before you two confessed your feelings. Because somehow, you managed to do that at the same time. It was funny, if you're thinking about it. How you two were so in sync, you had no idea.

"Go talk to him." the girl next to you tried to push you, to make you get up and walk to the dark haired man.

"Don't want to." you kept avoiding any eye contact ever since you got in that bar. If you don't acknowledge him then he doesn't even exist to you.

"But he's looking at you." you grabbed the drink in front of you and gulped everything down your throat, trying to ignore him.

"Are you shy?" the girls started giggling again.

It was annoying. Why can't they understand that it's over? He understands this, so why can't they do it as well?

"We don't have anything to talk about."

"But he seems to want to?" it doesn't matter even if they point it out. It's been a long time already, you both moved on.

"Isn't there anything you want to tell him? Like things you didn't got the chance to while you were together?"

"This is the time to clear any bad blood between the two of you." but that wasn't necessary.

Frustrated, you looked in his direction. Eyebrows furrowed and biting on your lip so you wouldn't let out any curses you wanted to say at the moment. That classical expression, looking like he's good, even if there was no smile on his face, but he kept nodding to what his friends were saying. His eyes were betraying him however, those sleepy eyes, looking at you like you were more interesting, like he had to or else you'd evaporate from there or who knows what worse. It wasn't often when you'd see him like that, so you can't even answer your own questions on why he seemed like that.

No, if you payed attention to his surroundings, his friends might be annoying him. Saying something that he doesn't like, or.. they were talking about you. Just the way your friends were talking about him.

Was he feeling like that because he didn't want to talk to you either? No, you doubt that. It's probably because you refuse to give him any attention.

You turned to face the girls around you, who still seemed to push you to him. Maybe you should in fact go for it?

But, was there really anything that needed to be said? You don't have any regrets, you can't think of anything you want to say. And he's the same, even if he looked like he was holding back from time to time. You doubt he ever did something he's regretting. After all, you matched each other's freaks. You managed to stay together for that long just because you completed the other, understood yourselfs on a level no one else around you could.

Was this why you were pushed to him? Because everyone knew how well you fit each other?

You looked at your friends one more time, sighing as you finally gave up. You're still afraid to approach him, because he was still intimidating in a way you can't explain.

Or you can, because whenever you look at him you feel a chill down your spine. Your head was filled with stuff you said to him in the past, memories coming back to embarrass you, to make you forget what you want to do so you'd fuck up in front of him.

You stopped in front of him, staring at him as he looked at you. He still had that expression on his face, like you're still his softest spot, his weakness that makes him weak in the knees when he's around you. You opened your mouth, trying to say something but then forgetting everything once you looked into his purple eyes.

You can't be like this forever, you had to step up your game. You really had to move on, and maybe that's what you have to talk with him. Because he seems to be stuck in the past too. "You have time?" you noticed the way he almost raised his hand, to grab onto you and drag you closer like he always did. But he held back, because he knew this wasn't the time.

"Yeah." he tried to keep it nonchalantly, but you could see past his poorly executed facade. Should you feel happy with how you still affect him? You feel like you could laugh.

"Wanna talk outside?" you don't even know why you said outside of all places. You wanted to stay inside, where everybody else was. You wanted to have a reason to keep it cool, to not lose yourself in your emotions, because you know you'll fuck up if you're alone with him.

He got up, standing much taller than you as he followed you quietly. Seriously, this was like a deja vu. You still remember how you used to follow him just the way he's doing now. Not questioning a thing, and trusting him a bit too much. But you also had no idea where you're going. All you know is that you want to go outside, take some fresh air, say a few words and then go back to your friends.

For a moment, he got in front of you, opening the door and letting you walk out first. He used to do this all the time, didn't he? You almost forgot about it.

You walked a little further from the bar, resting your back against a building's wall as you looked at the sunset. No one said a thing, and the distance between the two of you was colder than the night's breeze.

"So.." a few words and then go back, that's all. You can go to your friends after this and rest. "How have you been." avoid eye contact, because you don't know when you'll fuck up, look forward, don't let yourself be distracted.

"Busy." his voice still makes something in your head ring, like a little bell that seems to not calm down until he said so. "You?"

"Busy." you couldn't even think of what to say, just biting your lip in frustration.

It was quiet again, like both of you forgot how to communicate.

For a moment, you looked to your left, at where the bar was, and then at him, catching him staring at you with a expression you can't quite explain. Sadness? No, it was a mixture of sad and frustration. And you understood him. He had you this close, next to him, and yet he couldn't do anything.

"You're bigger than I remember." you don't even know why you said that. It's just.. he looks different and you can't exactly say what it was.

"I stopped growing a long time ago." he kept looking at you, at the way you were scanning him for anything that it might have changed. "Maybe you're the one who shrinked." he extended his hand, he doesn't really know why, but it seemed alright in that moment. Like he knew you wouldn't run anymore. "My hands are still the same."

You looked at his palm, at his long fingers and at the way he looks so familiar, yet new. Like you forgot how his body looked for a moment, like you were back in the past before you two started dating. Because you did this back then too, you were in this situation before.

How he was trying to tame you, let you touch him just the way you want, explore and discover more. All just to show you how inoffensive he is, that he's not a threat.

And you bite the bait every single time. Taking his hand in yours, slowly touching it just to see if it was indeed like what you remember.

You should put more effort if you don't want him back in your life. Just look at you, you look like you've missed him so so much. You shouldn't be this sweet or else you might not be able to break up again this time.

He tried his luck, interlocking his fingers with yours, and showing you more of that size difference you haven't seen in a while.

You don't reject him, his actions only made you be more curious. What else was he hiding? You looked up at him, only to see that expression again. You really didn't understand how his eyes can be just this dark, like there was absolutely no life in them, only a purple abyss that seems to drag you in towards him.

"It's getting dark." he said in a low voice, forgetting that he was supposed not to scare you for a moment. "Let me drive you home." he's the same as ever. Getting ahead of himself just because he was able to feel your perfume for once, the same scent that you had since back then. It suited you, and he missed it.

"Alright." he always knew how to calm you, let down your guard so he can get more under your skin. Or perhaps you were doing that voluntarily, because he doubts you'd be like this just for anybody.

The ride back to your place was quiet, only the radio on, playing some mainstream songs over and over again.

The silence was loud, but not uncomfortable. It was better this way because you had nothing to say. And he will not talk until you talk.

But once you got to your house, you somehow didn't wanted to get out the car just yet. It's just.. can't he stay? You don't know why you want him there, and you don't want answers to that.

"You're.." you played with your fingers. "You're not busy, right?" you avoided his eyes, or to look in his direction at all. This was all his doing, wearing that one fragrance that made your head spin, and the shirt that he knew was your favorite. "Want to come inside?" you're doing this on your own accord. Because he wouldn't push you over your limits like this, especially when you just met again after a long time.

You came to him, you talked to him, and you dragged him into your home on your own. He didn't do anything, this was all your doing.

You were brave enough to make the first move, so he might as well reward you for it, no?

You didn't looked surprised when you started kissing the moment the front door closed behind you, you also looked unfazed when he started taking off your clothes, now going towards your bedroom, looking for a bed so he could place you on it.

How could you forget this feeling? Or the way he used to take care of you. Always stopping you from lifting a single finger, not letting you do anything until you start begging him, or worse, do things without even warning him first.

"Tell me if it hurts." he placed a kiss on your cheek before going down, biting softly on your skin and leaving kisses all over the places he touched. He was going to mark all of your body, so people would see a part of him on you even if you're not together.

He stopped when he got to your pussy, leaving a kiss on your inner thigh, before placing his lips over your heat. He was going to scream, he missed this so much that he just couldn't help but let out a lustful moan deep from the bottom of his heart.

How could you left him? Take this away from him, leave him all alone to suffer. If he didn't craved so much for you he would have punished you for it.

"You're so tight." he said as he got two of his fingers inside.

"It's been a while since I did it." he looked up at you from between your legs, placing a kiss on your clit.

"Have you done it with someone else?" he was asking as if he didn't knew everything you did while he was gone. And yet, hes jealous.

"No." you shook your head. "What about you?" are you questioning his loyalty?

"Did you touched yourself?" if this was his way of changing the subject, then it wasn't working. Because it only made you want to ask the same thing, embarras him just the way he did to you.

"Did you?" he should feel embarrassed, ashamed or anything between those two, but no, it was just you who feeling that way.

"Every time I missed you." seriously, can he calm down for a moment. You can't take it. "You didn't do a good job." he said, licking on your clit as his fingers curled up. "But I guess you can't do much with those fingers of yours." you couldn't face him when he was saying such dirty words. "Did you had a hard time stuffing yourself? Don't worry, I'll do it for you from now on." you placed a hand over his face, to cover his eyes so he would stop looking at you.

"Don't look at me." you whimper. "It's embarrassing." you were always so easy to tease.

"Alright." he moved your hand away. "I'm sorry." he was in fact not, but if that's what you want to hear then he'll lie again and again, as long as you're happy.

Your pleasure was more important to him. So he focused on that, paying attention to the places that made you melt, on your soft voice and your touch. You're still so hesitant, like you don't really trust him, like you're still testing the waters.

What more do you want from him? What can he possible give that he haven't gave you already? You have his heart, you have his mind and soul, his well being is all yours, his body and everything he owns. So give him attention, touch him more and tell him that he's doing good because he's about to burst.

For a moment he looked up at you, just to see how you're doing, to check on you and make sure you're alright.

How did he lived for so long without looking at you was a mystery. Why he accepted you leaving him and trying to move on. Who else is going to make you feel like this? You need him, you needed his cock and his touch.

But he's not going to fuck up, since it's been a while since you last did it, he shouldn't push you. So, he placed a last kiss on your clit before taking his fingers out of you, leaving you panting and waiting for more. He didn't even let you cum, how mean of him.

Still, how dumb of him, to come here with nothing on him, not even a single condom. I mean, it wasn't really his fault because he never knew he'll end up like this.

"Take it off, your clothes." you were all naked while he was still fully dressed. He also looked like he wasn't planning on getting undressed any time soon and it was annoying you.

"I don't have any condoms." that was the problem?

"It don't matter." you took him by surprise. "Come here." you knew how rail him up. And you better not regret your decision later.

You looked at him taking off his shirt, his defined muscles jumping right into your face. You were right when you said he looked bigger, he must be working out a lot more lately. He took his pants off after, your eyes on his hard cock as he came back next to you.

"Relax." he said when he got between your legs. "Look at me." it would only be harder for you if you keep overthinking. Yeah, he was big, so what. He's going to give you all the time in the world until you adjust yourself to take him. It's gonna be hard at first, but it's going to be so much easier once he models your insides into the shape of his cock. And that's a promise, believe him.

He slowly pushed the head of his dick inside your wet core, making you move a little from how it was feeling, trying to find a better position. He lowered himself, now his chest pressed against yours, placing kisses all over your face as he kept pushing more of him inside your warm pussy. It's alright, take your time. He's not going anywhere, he'll wait until you're ready for him to move.

"You're doing good." he whispered in your ear, his hot breath tickling your skin. "I'm all the way inside, see? It doesn't hurt." it hurts a little, maybe more than just a little. But wasn't it normal when he was stretching you like that? But just as much as it hurts, it also felt good, in a way that left your mouth watering. He was going to be the end of you, really.

"Move." you ordered him, wanting to feel more. Just being stuffed to the brim wasn't enough, you needed much more than that.

He followed your orders, moving his hips slowly, paying attention to your next move.

You were so cute when you're sticking to him like that, holding onto his shoulders and trembling every time he touched that spot deep inside that he wasn't trying to touch to begin with, to not overwhelm yourself.

He's going to give you everything you want, there's no need to rush. If this was how much you can handle then that's how much he's going to give you. So why were you grabbing him like that, and asking for more? "Deeper." but you couldn't take it? You're going to say that he bullied you later, and he doesn't want to take the blame for something you made him do.

"You're sure?" you nodded, looking at him through your eyelashes with a pout on your face. Alright then, if that's what you want. How could he refuse you?

So he got deeper, hitting that spongy spot with long slow strokes that seems to work wanders on you.

He kissed you, again and again, to mark everything that missed his touch. To make sure you feel him, more than just inside.

"Is it good?" he asked as if he doesn't know your body like the back of his hand.

"Mm." you nodded, leaning in to feel more of his warmth.

"Then say my name. Let me know how good I make you feel." how could you forget he was like this. He always had to mark his territory as if you're not already his. But unfortunately for him, you're not in the mood to fulfill his desires. Screaming his name seemed nice, but at the moment all you wanted was to feel him, have him to yourself and let nobody know about your business.

Maybe his greedy side rubbed on you, or maybe it's the other way around. Or not, because at the end of the day you both knew that your unsolved issues can't be fixed that easy, and it can't be passed into the other when both of you are insane.

That's why you're trying to consume each other in other ways.

Kisses that seemed way too loving for someone who just got reunited after a long time. Touches that linger on the other's body even after moving away. Whispers and words that really makes it seems like you two were just a day apart, talking about moving with him, how you don't need anyone else but him. And at the moment you're too drunk on him to even realize that you're nodding, agreeing to every little degrading thing he's saying.

You want him, don't you? You missed him, you were such a mess without him. Right? Why did you permited him to leave when he's made for you. "I love you." that's the most normal thing he said tonight. "I love you, you heard me?" you heard him, but if you're giving him an answer that satisfies him, you'll never make him pay for the pain he caused you.

"You do?" you didn't sounded loving at all, even if your arms were wrapped around his neck, looking at him in the eyes with something only he saw before, your lust and obsession.

"I love you." he'll say it until you finally give up. Placing a kiss right next to your eye, he caged you in his arms, a hand under your ass and lifting up so he could go even deeper than before. Move in even more, since you said you wanted deeper. He'll show you places you didn't even know existed if you're asking for it.

He can't say that he's a brat tamer, because he's not. He likes everything about you, your sweet side, your mean and angry side. He likes it when you punish him, it shows him that you care. And if you believe that he's not doing enough to deserve your love just yet, then he'll do more.

He liked trying after all. And he'd be damed if he said that he doesn't want to show you just how far he can go. Because trust him, you can't handle it.

He's going to eat you, or even better, sacrifice him as you see fit. He wants to be inside you forever, be part of you. Because he feels like he's finally at home only when he's with you, in your arms. And when he's balls deep inside you? He's in heaven.

"Does it hurts?" he licked your tears away, wanting to taste them and claim them as his.

You nodded, feeling his cock twitching before moving in a way that got you throwing your head back. This fucker. He thinks that he can just do this to you and not pay a price? And perhaps sometimes he forgets how you can be so cruel, mean, and play with his feelings in a way only you could.

All he needs is a look from you, fluttering those eyelashes in a pretty way, and a sad expression that he can't resist.

You win, if you wanted him to fumble, then you win. He's all yours, do whatever you want with him because he doesn't have the ability to think anymore. "Cum with me?" what gives you the right to ask such a dumb question when you knew that's the only thing he wants. If you're not, the he's not doing it either. He knows he's asking for too much, but let the man dream.

"I'll fill you up nice and pretty, alright?" he made it sounded like a question, but you both knew he was just letting you know.

"Mm." you nodded, your lips smashing together the next moment. Eating each other out as you were both so so close. Touches becoming more and more desperate, his grip on so tight you won't be surprised if it leaves a bruise. But it's alright, because you feel like that's not quite enough.

More, you both needed more. And some heated sex after fucks knows how long won't be enough to satisfy the empty holes in you. You needed so much more.

Will you even be able to get out the bed tomorrow? Both of you. Because from the way you drag each other back, refusing to give up just yet was more than enough proof to show you won't step back any time soon.

But who knows, maybe you'll finally be happy by the time you both dry your energy out.

[red5tars]

all that remains, pt.1

ghost x reader; past ghoap.

cw: major character death, alcohol + drinking, simon is grieving and he is NOT happy

next

it was no surprise johnny would be forced into an early retirement. simon planned to follow him, hell, he would follow him to ends of the earth if johnny so much as hinted at it. but that wasn't the case, not this time.

or after going no contact for nearly two decades, simon riley gets the closure he's always needed with his sergeant. or rather, an extension of him.

he can hardly remember what happened.

(-security had to escort simon out of the hospital. yank him away from johnny as he yelled, cursed, told his mother that she could go fuck herself up the ass with the cross she carries in her bag-)

-the past a blur, smudged by time.

still, betrayal sticks to the back of his tongue like a bitter aftertaste. the feeling apart of him forever.

the day that johnny got shot, two matching holes were made: one ingrained into soap's head, the other in ghost's heart. time healed one while growing the other, the correlation negative. never crossing.

until now.

he reads the article over and over again, eyes darting all over the page.

local veteran. wife. daughter. car crash. multiple injuries. dead.

dead.

dead.

dead-

simon chucks his phone across the room, device shattering upon impact.

he shouldn't have asked price for more details, knowing his captain would never have spared him. then again, the last time simon talked with price was nearly a month ago, both men preferring to talk in person. unfortunately, this message couldn't wait.

according to elisabeth kübler-ross, simon should be in denial. shaking his head frantically, muttering 'no no no no no', tugging his hair and screaming till his lungs give out. yet, the first emotion that his apathetic brain can register is regret-

-days spent quietly in the woods, vows and toasts, an honest conversation, all lost when the text he's gone appeared on his screen only thirty minutes prior.

memories never created bounce around in his head, plaguing him. a ghost being haunted, how hilarious.

even when johnny was cut out from simon'a life, at the very least he knew he was still there. living and breathing, enjoying life with someone who wasn't him.

wasn't simon.

before he can spiral even further, his phone buzzes. a miracle, considering how hard he threw it. a part of him wants to break his phone, unable to cement this new reality (denial, maybe miss ross knew a thing or two).

but he's already walking, bending down to pick up the small device. his thumb hits the answer button before he can throw it again.

"i should've called first," price says, voice filled with sympathy, shielding his own grief. even decades later, his captain continues to put on a strong front. typical, but not unwelcomed.

a million responses run through simon's head; "yes, you should've", "it wouldn't have made a difference".

“you never should’ve told me. should’ve let me die an ignorance.”

"..'s fine," simon mumbles, eyes drifting down to the floor.

there's an uncomfortable silence that comes from the other end of the line. for a man who can figure out when the enemy is about to take their next breath, he's shit when it comes to comfort.

price sighs, "'s not, but not much we can do 'bout it now, huh?" he tacks on a humorless laugh at the end, which could be mistaken for another exasperated sigh.

he's right. there isn't much they can do about now. simon doesnt't even want to do anything. if he had to do something, gun to his head, he'd just pull the trigger himself and hope johnny is wherever he ends up (a low probability really. johnny believed in god and the only man simon worshipped was him).

"listen, simon," price's voice pulls him out of his thoughts, forcing him back to the present. the one where johnny is dead, "i didn't just call to talk about… him.

"they're gonna be 'osting a funeral, 'bout a week from now," he continues, simon taking every detail with a gram of salt, "gonna be in his hometown. i've been in contact with his mum considerin' the lad," (a weird word to describe him, but it makes sense. john has always been like a father figure to them all, offering guidance even outside of the trenches), "won't have a regular funeral."

a neatly folded flag, gunshots that echo of missions from years ago, and the husk of the strongest man he knows.

well, knew.

"figures," simon replies, despondent. it seems price catches on, another breath leaving him heavily, "look, i know you two weren't on the best of terms after the.. incident, but i do know that if he wanted anyone to see him off. it would be you," there's a slight rustle on price's end, a barely audible john..? reaching simon's end. price huffs, but it's filled with warmth, "woke up the missus.. listen, i'll talk to you again when everything is finalized just.. don't do anything you'd regret, simon."

it takes simon three minutes to respond, not realizing what john said wasn't a suggestion but rather an order (some things don't change, huh?).

"..yes, sir," and simon can hear the smile in his tone when john tells him 'good night'.

he didn't realize it till price left him in the static silence of his home flat, but simon didn't move a single inch during the entirety of the call. a strange superstition he had when he was younger, that if he didn't move, nothing would change. it didn't work of course. staying huddled in a corner didn't stop his father from seeking him out and beating him and his mother.

staying buried in the trenches didn't stop the enemy from firing at him.

and staying rooted in this one spot didn't change the fact that johnny mactavish was a dead man.

so much for some things not changing…

he thinks of what to do next. price ordered him to not do something he would regret, his to-do list quickly dwindling down to two options:

a) go to the funeral.

b) or don't.

to others it's an easy choice, but to simon? this would be facing the truth head first. face first.

johnny, expression contorted into something peaceful, telling a silent story of a man who lived a long fruitful life.

still, no amount of blush could hide the fact it's a corpse he'll be reuniting with.

it could do him more good than harm but what if it doesn't? what if it's then he truly snaps, impales himself on one of the many flower stands he knows will be there, removing himself only to drag his bleeding body towards his one true love.

splayed out like romeo over juliet except this isn't some shakespearean tale, star-crossed lovers and theatrical english. no, this is his reality, his purgatory made into actuality.

all that's left is to make a decision. stay or go? face the truth or don't?

it circles his head like an ugly carousel with a discordant tune, that is till his eyes land on a an unopened bottle of whiskey he got from america.

johnny had insisted on buying it when they were in the states for a mission. "we'll share it whin we git back to th' stead, lt. treat fur a jab weel done."

(they never opened it, that operation being dubbed 'the incident', followed by silence from both ends)

better late then never, simon thinks, skulking towards the bottle. the cap comes off with ease, simon swiping some dust around the spout. there's glasses somewhere in his shitty flat, a set that's engraved with their initials.

he settles on drinking straight from the source.

[gaybirdnerd]

I'm watching top gun Maverick for the second time this week and I have some notes:

The little hints that Mav has kept up with Rooster's life scattered throughout the beginning when he's at the hangar.

That little nod to Goose through Mav asking him to be there with him during the test flight, later parodied by Rooster asking his dad for advice during the mission.

The way Mav is just so easily picked up after his Overboard, like he quite literally goes stiff and makes it easier, this man has been picked up a time or two and you can tell

The absolute devastation in his gaze when he sees Rooster in person and Rooster reminds him of his dad.

Love Hondo and all he does for this movie.

"His exploits are legend" and Hangman looking back and just realizing how fucking screwed he is when he realizes he threw this man out of a bar yesterday.

The little cute ass "good morning" and standing awkwardly there waiting for a reply, I wanna bite him

Rooster BEEF

Now we get into the fun part where Mav shows just how good he is

"This guy need an ego check" says you Hangman

This man nearly kills his recruits first second, he coulda so easily hit their wings on accident lmao

"Don't let him get to you Maverick" (don't let your pseudo son bully you, it's ok)

And now he's showing them why his exploits are legendary

Again, coulda hit his recruits

His little "come get me" while being chased by Hangman is so good

Now hangman shows he's an asshole but also that upside down maneuver turning into a REALLY dangerous game of cat and mouse.

Tbf the planes going down like that looks kinda awesome.

Mav giving Rooster a chance and some motivating words and then getting him with the cobra maneuver is just *chef's kiss*

Hey, why couldn't Maverick just TELL Rooster why he pulled his papers? Like??

"And how to come home" he's so traumatized, someone hug this man

Him having a hard deck request in his hands while being chewed out lmfao

"Highly DECORATED captain :) " he's so proud of himself. You think he's stopped himself from getting promoted? Like on purpose?

Him and Penny are so cute, even when they're pretending they're not gonna get together again

She can feel his EYES on her ASS and tbh I don't blame him LOOK AT HER

"We're gonna take it easy on you" (no one succeeds anyway)

Coyote holy fuck don't break check your wingman, even on accident

Hangman being a little bitch

"They couldn't keep up".... Would this man be like this in the face of actual tragedy?

Rooster, grow some balls please, your ego shouldn't be as big as it is

Hangman needs to shut the fuck up about what happened to Goose, esp around Rooster

Smack the look off your own face or I'll do it for you

In other words Maverick is so small, such a baby, smol baby

"You're all dismissed" *proceeds to angst over what happened with Goose for hours which is so fucking valid tho*

"It's come back" fuck he can read her face so easily and knows at this moment he's about to lose another brother.

The way Ice gets Mav to talk so easy 😭😭

Mav is so traumatized 😭😭😭

"I'm not a teacher, Ice, I'm a fight pilot" YOU'RE A DAD NOW, FUCKER, THESE KIDS ARE YOURS

God Mav tearing himself up about the decision to keep or lose Rooster.

"It hurts for him to talk" and he still gives his little speech ugh, I love Ice

*empty air space* took the kids on a field trip and it WORKS

Who the fuck goes to the beach in jeans? So many of them apparently.

That little flopping down celebration at Hangman's toss of the ball

Mav the old man needs a rest

Bob is a God, they're so right for celebrating him

Hondo is a precious baby who gets tackled by everyone

That little "leave the door open" move *gnaws on penny*

Not Mav accidentally predicting the future by asking about if he should leave

Getting parenting advice about Rooster subtly and he's so guilty about what he did to him

Dad!Mav is love, Dad!Mav is life

*makes him go out the window but he still gets caught lol*

God I could never imagine how it actually feels to get into 9 Gs or more

Mav is messing with them, pretty sure in an unscheduled way, I'm glad he did because of how Coyote G-locked

This test run just went completely to shit, huh?

Mav's worst fear

"Easy for you to say" Rooster, you think that might be a little fucking sad for him? That he's got no one in his life?

After getting a verbal lashing from his best friend's son, he gets told his other best friend is fucking dead, how is this man still existing as a person? I'd be a wreck

Triple whammy, he's being fired from his job to teach the impossible

And, you know, his job

Do you think Mav doesn't react if he's called Peter?

The asshole who takes over for Mav just... Needs to stop assuming he knows everything. Glad he gets humbled tho

This test flight is just dkfbeisndob3f

The way you can hear how hard it is on his body, the way he SKIMS past hills, the bullseye as he gets to 10 Gs and loses a good bit of his vision

"Sir, I-" shut up and take it Mav

THE GOODBYE TO PENNY AHHHHH

He pretty cute in this uniform tho 👀

"Talk to me Goose" just fucking shoot me, it's less painful

Hangman has gotta be pissed but I'm glad he takes the decision seriously and supports it

Rooster, way bad timing, talk to dad2 later

"If I don't see you again Hondo, thank you" fuck you, come back alive

LOVE the team name being Dagger

That cloud cover would have me crashing out so fast

Looking at Rooster before starting the mission officially

Rooster go fucking faster, please. I know it's scary but please

"Talk to me dad" *Mav talks to him* AAHH??

Hmm, needs me a wingfic where Mav can just do all this stuff without a plane

THE GOING UPWARDS IS THE SCARIEST PART

Rooster showing that his ego is finally fitting him

The absolute chaos shown during the coffin corner, Mav using the Cobra to defend Rooster and taking a shot himself.

It's honestly such a miracle Maverick survived this shit

"He's gone, Maverick's gone" damn, he just got dad2 back, now he seemingly lost him again. So much for Rooster telling Mav he's got no one to mourn him

I'm SO GLAD Rooster came back but holy shit dude got taken out so quickly and you could see the devastation and desperation

Mav runs™

Like he sure does run

Simply to make sure his son is ok then violently push him into the snow lol

"You told me not to think" that shut his ass up so quickly lol

"So what's the plan" don't ask Mav this, just don't. He flew past 10 Gs just to prove he can

Them casually walking through enemy territory lmao, they're so bold

"This thing is so old" haha, yeah it is

Mav has a fucking answer to everything, no runway? Go through the taxi way with a building at the end

Landing gear ex machina

Need more of smart Maverick fics, he has so much random ass knowledge

"Smile and wave boys, just smile and wave"

Mav being so hesitant to make suicidal actions like he usually would because he's finally got someone in the back seat again

Why is this old ass plane fitted with like everything?

The technical know how of operating all these pedals and buttons and steering must be insane

"Do some of that pilot shit" *was not prepared for that pilot shit*

YAY THEY WON THE FIGHT

OH NO THERE'S MORE

Fucking BLEAK odds. You're in a really old plane that while outfitted with weapons and ammo has run out of said ammo, being chase by a guy with supposedly plenty of ammo, the eject handles aren't working, and you've seemingly got no backup. I'm so fucking glad Hangman disobeys orders

Landing gear ex machina

Uh oh fire

Rooster sounds so desperate when he says ok to Mav saying he won't tell him they lost an engine

BIG CELEBRATION

HONDO

In the middle of a loud ass crowd is a bad time to tell your dad2 that you at least partially forgive him which is what I'm assuming Rooster tried doing

You know, I thought Penny just up and left him so he didn't leave her first, but I'm assuming she was just getting things in order so she could go be in Mojave with him

How to know Mav needs to be in plenty of wingfics: even retired from the Navy he has his own personal plane and probably flies it more than he walks

Have gotten an addiction to seeing Rooster and Mav as a son dad duo in fics in the past day and CANNOT get over it

[biancadoes1]

Question for the more experienced shippers in the mix. It feels like there is a constant pendulum in motion swinging between shippers being pissed at Nic and then pissed at Luke. And for reasons I don’t fully get. It’s a huge drain and honestly grates on my nerves more than the Jakolas at this point. Is this to be expected from here on out?

Ok I'm of the opinion that people should manage their own expectations and shouldn't look to others but I'll give this advice.

Their jobs are our source of entertainment. Their real lives is of interest but it is at a distance. They are not us we are not them. They provide small insight to how they live, we shouldn't ask for more than what they give or when they give it.

Be happy for them when you see them together it's hard to live when you're being scrutinized and criticized every day.

There is always more we don't know. More we won't see and even more we cannot explain. Let them choose their story and what and how they want to tell it. Theories will always be thrown out but don't let theories consume too much of your brain space. Theories can corrupt hence some of the emotional outbursts I see online. That's why distance is needed when looking from the outside.

Focus on other things too. We aren't going to ever get 24/7 content. Whatever we get watch, observe, comment respectfully and move on.

Do not preach and spread hate even if they do something you do not agree with. I'm not saying don't discuss, but don't hate either. They are not robots who will be unfeeling, they have personal struggles as we do.

Unless we are in the industry we will never fully understand what and why they do those things and what they are exposed to that we don't see. Maybe their respective situations provide a safety net from something they are dealing with for now.

One day will never be the next, each day is different. Do not let their public situations be your personal highs and lows.

We see their brand and image more than we see their personal life but behind the brand is a human being with emotions, struggles, ups and downs like anyone else. They do not have conventional love stories and closeness that we experience. Theirs is played out for the world to see, they have to protect them and their loved ones while still doing their jobs and living publicly.

When we realise we can easily live privately compared to them and they have to go through hoops to have some semblance of privacy and a normal life we will be more empathetic.

Life and humans are messy, as with any job, relationship etc things are not linear and sometimes things don't go our way. But it isn't our way it's their life. Not ours.

Stop projecting your expectations on their story. Separate the actors from what you want for them and what you want for you out of this. Their relationship is a bonus, their work is the main attraction. Sooner you get that the less you begin to spiral.

Today is Jake and Antonia tomorrow could be another situation. Again life isn't linear.

They also work together and there is a possibility they have a season or 2 again to go. Maybe they cannot move forward now for contractual reasons or if they can, it's things they need to consider that could be impacted if they are together or not. We don't know so we cannot judge harshly.

Shipping is not for the weak. Look up Christopher Plumber and Julie Andrews. Yes that same Julie who voices LW. She's decades into a Sound of Music ship. Martin and Meryl. I'm not saying this is the timeline for N and L but it's to show we don't control it, they do.

Appreciate the ship, worse thing is to force a relationship and they're not ready. Let's say they're together then break up, we aren't going to be there to wipe tears we won't see. Is that really what you want for them as fans? Where they can take control to make sure their friendship and working relationship is as healthy as possible let them decide because we definitely won't be there to pick up the pieces if they're together then break up. Hearts bleed a different type of sorrow and blood we don't see when genuine love and connection are broken. Losing a loved one to death is hard, losing a loved one while they are alive is fucking war.

OG shippers see it in compartments. We don't see all in a vacuum because not every thing fits. What we do know is we like them and their work and want the best for them. I also think there are new fandom people who have never shipped before or never observed a ship. If this is your first fandom and ship experience welcome to hell. I've been waiting for another ship for years but that's not happening yet so lol. Hope this helps.

.