#I know kids are not their parents of course
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Joker's kid! Reader : How Batman took them in and their medbay stay
Author's note: First thing first, thank you! Many of you said good things about my work, and you made me really happy! This is not exactly a continuing, but I promise I'm working on it. It's more detailed writing about how batman took Joker's kid! reader in, and how rest of batfamily reacted
Warnings: Grammar mistakes (English is not my first language), maybe some not detailed triggers
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Cold. Dark. Filthy. That's how the corner where Joker's kid! reader was staying. Crime alley was one of if not the most awful place in the Gotham. It was certainly not a place for a child. No parent in their right mind would want their child to stay in place like this. But what is your father never was in the right place of mind? In fact, what if your father was the most crazy psychopath in the Gotham? Only you would know.
Joker was put in Arkham asylum once again, and once again his kid was taken away and left somewhere in dark corner of crime alley by some of Joker's goons. They knew that Joker will find them once again then he get out, but for now, they had only themselves.
Did you know exactly where you were? Of course no! All you knew that you didn't like the place. It was too dark, it smelled like something rotten.
You were too tired to be afraid of your surroundings and your circle, and you were really hungry. Yet, you knew that food on crime alley was hard to find, maybe you could stumble on it if you weren't to tired to get up and go wandering.
The "show" that your dad just pulled was damaging not only for the Gotham itself and it's citizens, but for you. Your task seemrd simple : just drag wepons, gun magazines, lots of different glass vials. In the process, uou were tossed around by your father and his goons, who didn't show you any mecry.
You felt really uncomfortable. Not only all your bruises and scrapes were hurting, your skin felt sicky, dirty, you could feel stickiness of messed up make up on your face, your hair, which was damaged because they were dyed green, felt greasy, the costume your father made you wear was uncomfortable, it's stitches scratched your sided, collar of shirt and colorful tie were suffocating. Not to mention your broken shoes, which hurted from all the running.
Only light in this godforsaken place was coming form stars up above on the sky, but even they were clouded. You tried to make out them in the clouded sky, when suddenly you saw movement. The figure. Familiar figure. Without any further thought, you got up. You hastily walked, feeling wall in front of you, hoping to find stairs of fire escape and luckily for you, you found them.
Step by step, you hurried, knowing he moved fast, but you knew you must keep up with him. You recognized him easily, you saw him so many times, the one and only Batman, your father's archnemesis. Why you followed him? It's simple really. He may end your sufferings, or at least few of them. What he does to your father? Talks, then beats him, and puts him to Arkham asylum! First will be easy, for second you are used to thanks for your father, and last one... for last one you hope for. Now, you have no idea what it's really is or what's going on here, BUT you saw building, and it's better to be there than outside, it at least can protect you form the rain, and goodness you don't like rain, you always get cold in it and always feel bad after it. Plus, your father never seemed to look thiner while he was there, and may be there is some food? So, it would be better than a crime alley right? That was your logic.
Your small footsteps alerted the bat. He stopped in his tracks waiting for you to come up here. In his point of view, you were harmless. Yes you were Joker's child. He NEVER saw you fight, you were only running around, trembling when near Joker or goons, and hiding when fight was ending. You looked sick, scarely sick: not only clown make up and messy green hair looked so disturbing, but your injuries - they clearly were infected, your body - you looked like skin and bones, you were trembling - and he was sure it wasn't just because it was cold. What scared him the most was not your omnious similarity to Joker - which he new mostly was forced on you, and certainly reminded him of Tim as Joker Junior - but your eyes. They were just empty. He saw broken people, but kid as broken as that, he haven't.
He turned to you, looking at you with the signature spine-chilling gaze, as you were panting from running on rooftop.
-Batman, - you began, while he was silent. You didn't think through what you were going to say, but you continued - take me to the place you take all friends of pa's too, please? - your mom once told you that it was a good word, even magical, and it could help.
To say that Bruce was stunned is to say nothing. Your voice, quiet and weak, a bit slurred, lacking of any emotion but fear was not something he expected you to sound. But have he heard you even talk? No. And if he remembers correctly, he never heard you even laugh, which was strange considering your father. But, ithwrn than that, why in the world the kid would want to go there? Did they want to free their father? Were they just like him, out of their mind?
But his thoughts were interrupted by your sudden fall on the spot. It looked like you just stumbled while still standing. He walked closer, cautious, but he just saw you trying to get up, so he helped, and checked you for wepons in process, and found none. How ever he noticed how pale you were and how you were cold to touch, adding your stumbling and slurred speech he came to a conclusion, which was made him worry - you had hypothermia, and you needed warmth.
- Why do you want to go there - he asked, his voice stern, but lacking anger and distane.
- it's cold and I'm hungry. And that place looks better than streets - you mumbled.
- That's all? - he asked.
- yes - you answered adding the nod that made you dizzy.
Batman warped his cloack around you, it felt better than air, warmer. Safer.
- and what about your father? Do you want to see him - he asked, looking right in your eyes
- no, he will hit me again, and everything alredy hurts enough - your words were stumbling one on the other, but Batman listed them intently. He felt like you were honest, for some reason he felt like you don't want to be in contact with your father at all
- I have a better idea - he said, suddenly lifting you up. You were too light for his liking. He helped you to put more of his cape onto you. While carrying you to, you weren't sure to what. You just didn't moved, you hoped that he wasn't going to threw you down in building or thew you into anything, last time your father did that you didn't liked it
Few minutes after. You saw shiny and pretty car - batmobile. Inside it looked luxurious, you've never seen something so nice before, you never sited on something that soft. Was it a dream? Probably no, how can you dream of something that nice.
When Batman was to buckle the belt for you and reached his hand you flinched. Bruce didn't like that. He saw Joker hit you, but still it was too horrible to witness.You flinched again, when he put a fluffy blanket, which he took form back of car, which was there in case one of his sons needed it, over you. And the look on your face when you felt the blanket just hurted his heart even more. In your defense, you've never felt something as nice on your skin.
You finally felt warm. It's been so long since you lats felt warm and it felt so good. It didn't took much for you to fall asleep. You didn't care about anything but warmth in the moment.
A peaceful look on your face while you were asleep just broke Bruces heart. You were child of Joker, but all he could see - mistreated child. A child to add to his collection, a child for whom he can provide home.
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You woke up in place that you couldn't recognize. You even in darkness of the room, you could see it was clean and neat. It smell unfamiliar too, like some sort of chemicals your father worked with, but much softer. You could feel soothing attached to you, looking up on the side you saw the monitor from which soft light was coming. On the other side you saw IV. You could really feel pain and hunger in the moment, and it was really strange. You didn't feel like your skin was sticky anymore and you certainly was no longer dressed in the suit that your father made you wear.
Not long after you woke up, Batman came in. Your mind was to fuzzy, you were really confused, but you wanted to ask him so much things.
- am I... - you began saying, not knowing what to ask. Are you alive? Are you alright? Are you experimented on? Are you going to experience something that you won't like?
- You are safe. You need to rest so your body could recover.
You didn't felt like getting up anyway, you didn't had strength to do so anyways. You looked around again.
- sorry - you mumbled. You felt like you didn't belong to this safe and neat place, you felt like you were being a bother. Your father never let you to rest even if you felt like you were feeling not so long ago and now, you needed to do everything he asked, and if you wouldn't do it, you would be punished.
- For what? - he asked, his stern tone changed for softer one
- I probably made your car, a blanket and all in here dirty. And well, you made so much for me.
The way you said that, just broke his heart even more. You sounded like you meant those words, like you believe you are dirty in some way, and that you didn't deserve simple care.
- just focus on resting. - he answered rather strained - we will talk about everything once you will recover fully.
- but... - you suddenly felt brave enough to ask him at least something- you are helping me? Why? I mean, you know who is my father.
- you are not him, and your path may be different from him. Now, rest - he said gently putting your hand on your shoulder.
- oh. Okay, thank you. For everything so far- you answered, feeling sleepy and ready to doze of again, as Batman continued to look at you.
As Bruce looked at you, he saw that eerie similarity between you and your father seemed to subside once your skin was clean from that creepy clown makeup and you were in the hospital pj. You were just a kid and kid who needed serious medical attention that he was going to provide. No child should suffer like that. No child should have a dull look in their eyes. No child should feel like they were a bother. No child should be abused by their own parents. While looking through results of all the tests he had to run to find out what was wrong with you, he saw residual traces of various chemicals that Joker used in his venom. Seemed like you were a test subject for him. Many of your scrapes and bruises, and even a few cuts, were caused by your father, which your words just confirmed earlier. Yes, you were a child of Joker, the child of one of the most dangerous people in Gotham, the threat he needs to deal with. But you were also a victim of your own father. He knows that there is a possibility that you can become like your father, but he may find a way to help you avoid this from happening. He needs it for the sake of Gotham so that the city will never see the second Joker.
Alfred was the second person you've seen when you've seen. Old butler looked at you with cation, but you could make out some warmth that was similar to Batman's.
- How are you feeling? - Alfred asked, his British accent is intact
- I'm... I'm okay? - you said. You've never seen him before, but surely he was connected the Batman if he was here. You were uncertain how to feel about old man, he seemed intimidating, not in Batman's kind of way, but still intimidating.
- not feeling pain and not feeling cold i suppose? - he asked, adjusting the IV that was connected to you
- no, I feel good? - you answered, still feeling uncertain. He walked closer to you, and helped to adjust the pillow you were laying on, fluffing it up, and of course he didn't missed the how you flinched when he reached for it. Seeing hint of sadness in the expression of the butler you decided to add - I've never been in bed as comfy
- with time, perhaps, you would get a proper comfortable bed.
Dick wasn't shocked when he heard from Bruce that he took in Joker's kid. He was dumbfounded. Why in the world! Did all the all the hits in the head finally make the old man go insane? He couldn't make out how je felt. Surely he was taking aback, angry, but he knew he couldn't judge on the spot. Peace and stability just returned to the family, and knowing Bruce, Dick knew that old man should have had a really serious reason to do something like that. And, as a peace maker of the family and a good old brother to the rest of Batman sons he is, he decided to investigate that. So he went to the manor, walked into the madbay when you were sleeping. And he understood why. You looked so tired, so pale, so small, so thin. Even your greensh hair didn't look as omnious as Joker's. They just make you look more miserable. He stayed in this medbay room until it was time to patrol. Maybe he didn't know you, but he thought you still deserved a chance to get a better life
Jason was seething with anger. Firstly, Bruce didn't kill Joker when he didn't let Jason kill Joker, then they made amends, and how after all of that Bruce was taking in Joker's bastard? The kid of his killer! What the hell? How could he?! After screaming match with Bruce and talk wholehearted talk with Dick, Jason came to the conclusion that even if Jason himself was not okay with old man's decision, and if he can't prove that he is right now, he will prove it none the less, just latter. He knows powers of redemption, but some people don't deserve it. Some people do not change. And since your father was a monster, you are probably the apple that falls not far from the tree. He sure you belong to Arkham, and he will make sure you will be there if you make any wrong step. He won't let his fate repeat.
Tim hasn't slept around.... well, he hasn't slept a few days, so at first he thought it was a joke. It has to be. But B doesn't joke like that. It felt awful, but he was sure Jason felt worse. After he heard the news, he just spaced out... by the time his coffee went cold, only then he decided to dig up some information about you so that he could rationalize what he felt. Time when he was forced to become Joker Junior was still plauging him in his nightmares. And now he was faced with real Joker Junior - you. One quick look at you through the window of medbay, one blur of your greenish hair was enough for him. He felt anxianity creeping in. Watching videos with you on them was taught for him. You reminded him of him as Joker Junior so much. You reminded him of Joker. But yet, His search showed that you were dragged to every Joker's act of crimes, but in no videos, he saw you fighting. It seemed like a good sign, but his paranoia always said danger is hiding in placed you don't expect to see it.
Not one time, not twice, Damian became a witness to his father's rather idiotic decisions, or so he thinks. And this might be one of the dumbest his father did. Why can't he understand that taking you in meant putting all family in danger. You were a danger. You are Joker's child, who knows what's going on in your mind. He may not have found evidence yet, but he certainly will do it, and he will open his father's eyes. For now, Damian decided to make sure you won't hurt his family. He will make sure you won't influence his father into anything anymore. He glares at you through the windows of medbay, taking in every little move. So what of you look no bigger than him, you still are a threat. You still are the Joker's kid.
While all of this happened, time went by, and soon, you'll be out of the madbay. Are you ready for what sure has in stocks for you?
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Thank you for reading so much! Feel free to share your opinion!
And I'm working on the next part ^-^
#dc#dc characters#dc comics#batdad#batman#batfam x reader#bruce wayne#bruce wayne x reader#batfam#batfam headcanons#batfamily#batfamily x reader#richard grayson#richard grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#nighwing#red hood#red hood x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#red robin#red robin x reader#tim drake#tim drake x reader#robin#robin x reader#damian wayne#damian wayne x reader#alfred pennyworth
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Batman crack fic idea Janet Drake used to date Lady Shiva when she was in college, they break up when Janet marries Jack for social and money reasons.
Tim is born. When he's old enough the Drakes fuck off to do archeology and Janet hires a bunch of increasingly bizarre people who "owed her a favour ". There's a disgraced Russian ballerino, a mad chemist, the worlds best loclpicker, John Constantine, a black and white noire detective, some Welsh guy she found in the woods. Tim learns from all of them. Janet doesn't believe in public schools, so all of this is "homeschooling".
Flash forward, Tim is 11 Jack Drake dies on a dig in Australia, because a bird dropped a coconut on his head. Suddenly Tim has a new stepmum. Lady Shiva's nice, weirdly intense, but nothing he hasn't seen before. Janet takes over complete control of Drake industries, expands her business empire and destroyes her enemies with extreme prejudice. She teaches Tim all she knows about business. Shiva teaches him how to fight. Tim is happy he now has two mums who love and pay attention to him.
Stuff happens (I haven't figured out what yet) they find Cass and Tim gets a sister. Now, because this is DC and the children canonically yern for the streets (im thinking they're like 13 & 16 at this point), Cass and Tim become a new vigilante duo (I'm thinking Crows, one of tims nannies was an animal handler and he befriended all the crows in Gotham, they follow him around) and have perfected non verbal communication and creep out everybody with horror movie twin behaviour.
While sneaking around Gotham, they meet Steph, and she takes one look at them and decides that she likes Cass and that Tim needs to be bullied relentlessly. She is, of course, correct.
Meanwhile, Bruce is not having a good time, Jason is dead, and WE has competition for the first time in his life. He'd like to spiral into a pit of despair and find out who the new vigilantes are (and why are there so many birds?), but if he does that, Lucius will kill him or, worse, quit his job. So, instead, he and Dick are sent to therapy.
Jason comes back fully expecting to have to do a whole production out of this situation, takes one look at Bruce being forced to sit in a meeting with Janet and decides that he's fine actually, and why the fuck is Lady Shiva just hanging out at this gala with two kids hanging onto her?
By the time Damian is dropped off, everyone except for Bruce knows who the Crows are, Cass and Tim come over to hang out all the time. Damian is confused as to why The One Wo Sees All is in his father's house and how her brother manages to somehow be scarier than her. Damian does not like to be confused, so he still tries to kill Tim. This devolves into a roadrunner situation where Tim pulls out increasingly niche skills to get out of Damians traps. Later, this becomes enrichment for both of them.
When Tim is 15 and Cass 18, their mums decide they're old enough to be fine living with Bruce while they go off on their own adventures. Dick brings the Crows over to meet the Titans. He's told them about his cute baby siblings (Bruce is not the only one with an adoption problem). These children are not cute. They invoke fight or flight responses. Kon has one conversation with Tim, gets info dumped on, and falls in love immediately. He's finally found someone with an equal, if not greater, amount of weird, eclectic knowledge. Young Justice adventures are somehow even more bizarre than yj98. They are having the times of their lives.
Since Tim was never robin, Duke never started the We are Robin gang. But the Crows do have a cult, and he might be in it. His parents still get jokerised, and he starts living in Wayne manor proceeds to fit right in with the insanity (Bruce has given up on trying to control any of it).
The Justice League dreads whenever they have to meet with any of the younger Gotham vigilantes. Somehow, Jason ended up as the most almost well-adjusted one. He doesn't know how that happened either.
#tim drake#batman#jason todd#dick grayson#duke thomas#cassandra cain#damian wayne#batfamily#stephanie brown#bruce wayne
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Bill's getting a makeover from Pacifica!! Yaaay
And what good will it do him?
Here's chapter 83 of human Bill Cipher being more of a prisoner in his body than in the Mystery Shack by this point: the shack's decided that the only possible thing that can save them from certain doom is getting Bill to flirt with a government agent, and Pacifica's recruited to help.
She does NOT know who her customer is.
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"Folks, I'm not exaggerating when I say that out of all my duties as mayor, there's no greater honor than getting to host the county's annual Best Baby Ever Pageant and meeting all your beautiful and talented children. When I look in each young shape's bright little eye, and know that in this room are this county's future priests, police officers, teachers, doctors, entrepreneurs, maybe even the mayor of tomorrow... It gives me hope for the future." The mayor lowered his voice conspiratorially, "And it doesn't hurt that I get to declare it a city holiday and lock town hall's door for the day, either."
The parents in the audience chuckled appreciatively. Their children, who would have had the day off anyway and frankly found this a whole lot more work, mostly didn't.
"But all good things must come to an end, and we've reached the end of this year's competition." The mayor gestured to the contestants behind him, lined up in front of a temporary backdrop with a cheapy, shiny curtain. Most of the contestants were being held by a parent, but a few were old enough to fidget in front of the crowd all alone. "We've awarded all the individual prizes for each age bracket—which have gone to kids with any number of sides, with ages ranging everywhere from five years old to five hours old—and now all we have left is this year's grand prize!"
An enormous trophy waited to the mayor's side. It was plastic and hollow, but it was painted gold and taller than most of the children.
The mayor said, "And the winner of this year's Best Baby Ever award is... " Someone at the back of the hall played a pre-recorded drumroll through a tinny speaker. "The overall winner from the Age 0-6 Months category—Billy Cipher!"
Scalene let out a squeal of excitement that was audible over the applause. Bill startled awake in her arm and blinked sleepily around the room.
Several of the other parents on stage surreptitiously shot Scalene dirty looks—of course her kid had won, who could deny a newborn a prize on his birthday? It would be adorable. The judges had probably leaped at the opportunity.
Scalene shifted Bill in front of herself so the audience could see him better and so she could flash a hidden razor-sharp grin to a couple of her defeated rivals. That was exactly why she'd brought him today.
"Congratulations," the mayor said, placing a very tiny crown atop Bill. Bill endured this with patient, sleepy befuddlement. "Billy will be going home with the grand prize trophy and cash prize—as well as a full set of cutlery from our sponser, Knifeco Knives! But of course we'll hand that to mama to handle," he chuckled. "And the top winners from the other brackets will receive four-piece cutlery gift sets from Knifeco, which include—"
Scalene snatched the microphone from the mayor, jabbed him aside with one corner, and gushed to the crowd, "Thank you so much! I'm sure I'm speaking for my little Billy when I say just how grateful and honored he'll be when he's old enough to understand what a gift you've given him." She beamed out at the crowd, her flashy candy apple red makeup (she'd hastily slathered herself in side liner on her way to the pageant) drowning out every other shape on the stage—except for the naturally neon yellow infant in her arm. "As some of the pageant regulars—"
The mayor said, "Scalene, we didn't actually schedule time for the winners to make speeches—"
She sweetly whispered, "No one wants to hear about the sponsor, Otto," and pushed him aside. "As some of the pageant regulars here already know—I see you out there, hello!—I'm a pageant queen myself—(Miss Teen Curvy Strait three separate years!)—so, as a new mother, I'm so pleased that my little golden child is following in the family footsteps. I..."
The spotlights were blazing hot. She didn't understand how Bill—now wide awake again—could stare straight into the piercing lights without even blinking. Maybe he was blind; it would figure, considering what the afterbirth looked like.
Her knees were weak. Her sides screamed in pain. She shifted her grip to hold Bill more securely and to try to coax the sharpest spot of pain on that side to migrate to a fresh spot, shook off a wave of dizziness, and went on, "I hope that this is just the first of many future crowns for me—myyy sweet little Billy, ahem. I can promise you'll be seeing a lot of him in... in the..."
With a thud, she passed out and collapsed against the theater backdrop.
A nearby child squeaked in alarm.
"Scalene?!" Euclid was at the back of the audience, having snuck in during the closing ceremonies and hovered near the door where he could at least hear as the winners were announced. Now, as the mayor and several other pageant parents rushed to Scalene's side, he shoved his way through the crowd. "Move, that's my wife! Dang it, I told you to use your cane!"
One of the other mothers pulled out a copy of the program and fanned Scalene's eye. The mayor scooped up Bill and checked him for injuries. "Are you alright, little tri?"
Still too small to move himself, his eye darted in a panic to his mother's face, to the bright bright spotlights, to his mother again, to the blurry blue of his father buried deep in a sea of other shapes, to the mayor and the many strange faces crowded around him—and then he swallowed back his oversized eye to open his mouth and wail.
Which was the exact moment the stage curtain caught fire.
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A bearded man with his hair done up in black liberty spikes and a spider web tattoo climbing up his left arm watched as Pacifica dumped several shopping bags of makeup onto her desk. "This visitor must be really important. You never pass up doing these guys' weekly grooming." He was sitting on the barn floor, brushing an alpaca with long, silky white hair.
"You have no idea." Pacifica stuffed the shopping bags in the wastebasket surreptitiously hidden under her far-too-big U-shaped executive desk, and quickly sorted the beauty supplies into their proper order of operations.
"Didn't you say it's Mabel and one of her friends? Mabel's here all the time."
"It's not just any friend, Spiderwebs!" Pacifica pulled a locket out of a desk drawer, ran over to Spiderwebs, and popped it open. "It's this friend! I've never met him before, all I know is that he has the most gorgeous hair I've ever seen. I have got to make a good first impression."
Spiderwebs and the alpaca inspected the locket's contents. He said, "You've never met him and you've got some of his hair in a locket?"
Pacifica flushed. "Th— Shut up!" She snapped the locket shut and stuffed it in a pocket. "I had the locket just lying around anyway, it's whatever."
At the sound of voices outside, Pacifica gasped. "They're here! Do I look okay?!"
Spiderwebs—whose entire outfit cost less than Pacifica's left sock and who quite frankly found the amount of makeup Pacifica wore concerning for a child her age—said, "Sure, fine."
"Great!" Pacifica bounced on the balls of her feet, squealed in excitement, and ran outside to greet Mabel and her friend. "Heyyy there! I'm Pacifica Northwest, it's so nice to meet—" She froze, "you..."
Before her stood a person with the most beautiful golden hair she'd ever seen.
Which was attached to a lady in a t-shirt, an eyepatch, a bedsheet, and cheap novelty slippers that look like fish.
On top of that, the lady was mildly sunburned (obviously no moisturizer), wasn't wearing a bra, was leaning on an umbrella like a cane, clearly hadn't shaved in a while, had a very obvious fake tooth, had a weird bulgy eye, sort of smelled like fish (please don't let it be the slippers), and, to cap it all off, was fat.
Pacifica was working on herself. She was trying to unlearn the lessons about beauty she'd learned from her mom, and from the child pageant circuit, and from all her judgy friends, and from the modeling industry. She was slowly getting comfortable with the idea that physical beauty wasn't everything.
However. So far, that meant she'd been working on accepting ideas like it's okay if sometimes I'm an 8/10 instead of a 10/10. She had not yet tackled the far more daunting proposition of internalizing concepts like it's okay if sometimes other people are ugly.
Which was a problem, if she was going to give this person a makeover.
She swallowed hard and rearranged her expectations for the afternoon.
"Hey Pacifica!" Mabel beamed at her. "Thanks sooo much helping! This is Goldie, he's your customer. Goldie, this is Pacifica." Mabel gasped. "Giorgio, you're lookin' so fiiiine!" She ran into the barn to greet the alpaca Spiderwebs was grooming.
Leaving Pacifica outside with a stranger with a very creepy smile. Pacifica said, "Ummm..."
"The feeling's mutual, haha." On top of everything else, Goldie had a weird, nasally voice.
He, Mabel had said. "Hey, um," said Pacifica, who had never actually been in this position before and wasn't quite sure the polite way to handle it, "not to be rude, but... are you a guy, orrr...?"
"I'm whatever makes this conversation easiest. Don't overthink it!" He swept around Pacifica, hands clasped behind his back and around his umbrella, and sauntered into the barn. Which was kind of impressive, because fish-shaped slippers didn't seem designed for sauntering.
"So... guy?" Pacifica tried.
"For you? Sure," Goldie said indulgently. "Our target's expecting a lady, though, so—" Without turning toward Pacifica, he gestured up-and-down at his body. "Expect to femme this thing up."
Pacifica bit her lips as she swallowed down the most profound disappointment of her life so far, readjusted her expectations for the evening, and figured out what to say. She may not have unlearned the instinct to be shallowly judgmental, but she'd at least made progress on learning to keep it in her head. Most of it. Some—some of it. She'd keep some of it to herself. "Oh-kay. I don't know what Mabel told you, but—just so you know, I'm not running some charity barbershop for the homeless, all right? I'm a professional. I take looks seriously. I'm not going to soften the truth just because you're Mabel's friend, so—if you're not okay with that, you should just go home now."
He turned to glance at her, his trajectory curving to the side as he did; and suddenly she felt like a very small fish being circled by a hungry stingray. "Wow! You and Mabel both had to warn me! At this point, I'll be disappointed if you're polite." Goldie laughed. "Don't worry, I wasn't expecting a barbershop." He used his umbrella to gesture around at the barn, "A barbershop would smell less like farm animals." He flipped up his eyepatch (he had a whole second eye under there?) so he could shoot Pacifica a sly sideways glance. "Maybe personality can make up for looks. Right?"
Pacifica's face flushed red. Personality can make up for looks was what Pacifica's mom said other moms told their ugly daughters when they entered pageants they had no shot of winning. "Hey, how dare you! Maybe this barn is an ugly salon—but it's a beautiful ranch!" She huffed, "Anyway, I didn't have a choice! I couldn't bring you home in front of my parents. You're better suited to the barn."
She regretted it the moment the words were out of her mouth—that was the kind of thing she was trying not to say to people as often—but Goldie's grin only widened. "Just do what you can with this flesh scarecrow I'm wearing, Alpaca. I know what beauty standards around here are like, I know what I look like, and I'm more apathetic about this body than you could possibly imagine. You won't hurt my feelings!" He flipped his eyepatch back down and glanced away from her, eye roving around the barn ceiling like a searchlight trying to find a stray bat. "Nobody goes to a coach because they're expecting to be told 'you're beautiful just the way you are'!"
A coach—like a pageant coach? He was making an awful lot of allusions to the pageant world. Just to make fun of her, or...? "You're lucky I'm not a coach. You couldn't afford my rates."
Goldie laughed. "You'd overcharge!" And then he ignored her, turning his attention to her one full-time employee. "Hey, Spiderwebs! So this is where you ended up! Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"
Spiderwebs looked up from the aplaca he was tending to to frown at Goldie. "Do I know you?"
"Know me? You picked a fight with me once!"
"Oh. Who won?"
"By the time I was finished with you, you were stone-cold unconscious!"
"That's probably why I don't remember it."
While Goldie was distracted talking to Spiderwebs, Pacifica knelt by Mabel—who was crouched to wrap her arms around Giorgio's neck and nuzzle him—and muttered, "Your friend's a major creep."
"What did he do," Mabel asked.
Pacifica thought. What did he do? Say he wouldn't be offended by brutal honesty? Tell her her barn smelled like a barn? "Nothing, it's just—the way he did it."
"Yeah," Mabel sighed. "We're working on his people skills." At least she didn't think Pacifica was crazy.
"Hey, does Goldie have any, like... beauty industry experience, that you know of?"
"His mom was a model," Mabel said. "And he did some stuff with beauty pageants?"
"Yeah? What kind of stuff?"
"Ummm..." Mabel grimaced uncertainly. "Tech... stuff...?" Okay, she clearly didn't have a clue. But that was what she'd wanted to know: yes, he was familiar with the pageant scene. She readjusted her expectations for the afternoon for the second time in as many minutes.
Apparently finished with Spiderwebs, Goldie called, "Anyway, I'm not trying to win ay supreme crowns!" Make that familiar with the pageant scene and wanted to make sure Pacifica knew that. "Just seduce some government agent who already thinks this is hot. You're lucky, we have an easy target!"
Mabel said, "This guy!" She unwrapped one arm from around Giorgio's neck to hold her phone out.
Pacifica took it. It was displaying a distinguished-looking middle-aged gentleman with a no-nonsense frown in a classy black suit. Her eyebrows went up. Ooh. The suit was kind of cheap, but it was well-tailored, which made a world of difference. Looked like he took care of himself, too. Definitely worked out. Too bad about the hair, but hey, Pacifica happened to know a great product that could help with that.
She put a hand on Mabel's arm. "I will help Goldie win his heart."
####
Bill hardly glanced around as Pacifica led them into her office; he was familiar with the space. By daylight, it looked less "rustic" and more "cutesy overpriced modern farmhouse."
"I've got everything set up in my office," Pacifica said, coming in with Mabel behind her. There was indeed a wide variety of makeup supplies spread out on her desk. "But the makeup has to wait, we've got to start with your hair."
Bill fought back a cringe. "Don't want to save the best for last?"
"Always do your hair first," Pacifica said firmly. She ducked through a door into a bathroom connected to her office. "That's your first fashion lesson. You can't wash your hair with a face full of makeup. And trying to use a blow dryer or hair iron around your makeup makes you look like a melting wax figure."
"I've seen those in person," Mabel said. "Pacifica's right, that's not a cute look. Especially when the eyeballs start rolling out! Apparently, wax figures' eyeballs are made out of glass?"
Bill made a beeline for the corner where he knew Pacifica kept a folding chair and asked, "Hey, what happened to all those eyes, anyway?" Mabel always needed new arts and crafts supplies, and he bet those would be great for jewelry.
"We stuck them in a big jar." Mabel was lurking in the bathroom door, watching Pacifica. "They're still cursed, though. They turn to look at you when you walk by."
"Even better."
"I can see why the Pines family likes you," Pacifica grumbled.
Bill could think of three Pines who would heartily disagree with that claim. "Oh, please! They can only wish they were half as weird as me." He set up the folding chair in the open space in front of Pacifica's desk—then froze. Huh.
Bill knew lots of things. He had trillions of eyes. He was used to walking into rooms and just knowing what was in them.
Except this room hadn't existed when he'd had all his eyes. It had been built after his death. So why did he already know what it looked like? How had he known where to find a folding chair?
He shut his eyes, trying to work through the déjà vu to picture what angle he'd seen the room at before, and where his eye must have been in order for him to see it; and then he looked at the wall beside the desk. There were several flat glass cases against the wall with alpaca wool goods sealed inside—a scarf, a sweater... He stared at his own face in the middle of a tapestry of his zodiac, preserved like a hunting trophy in a case labeled "First Blanket." Huh. It wasn't some local hick's den after all. Just a local rich girl roleplaying at being a hick.
He studied his true face for a long moment—and then cast a resentful look at the desk covered in makeup, in shades of beige and red. What would any of this sludge do for him? He'd be just as ugly at the end of it.
But Bill wasn't getting a makeover to look beautiful. He was getting it to seduce a human. And those were two diametrically opposed goals.
He missed his face so much.
"It's not illegal," Pacifica said.
Bill gave her a baffled look. "What?"
She pointed at the blanket, "It's not illegal to display a picture of the triangle guy as long as it's got that ring of symbols around it. It, like, repels him or something."
"Oh, does it," Bill said dryly. "It takes the evil eye to avert the evil eye, huh? Hey, maybe I should get one of these! Whaddaya think, Mabel?"
"I already told you I'm not making another!"
"But how am I gonna repel the triangle guy?" he asked, grinning impishly. "What if I'm in danger! The triangle guy could get me! Wouldn't that be terrible?"
"Knock it off! You already stole Soos's."
He expected Pacifica to come back from the bathroom with a brush or something; instead, she held up a spray bottle and said, "Okay, come in—and bring the chair." Bill's heart sank. "We're gonna have to rinse your hair in my sink, sorry."
Bill suppressed a sigh. "It's not the worst thing I've ever done to this hair!" He picked up the chair to carry into the next room.
"All I can do for now is rinse your hair. I don't have any shampoo for your hair texture because I did not think the situation was going to be this dire. No offense," Pacifica said. "You'll have to shampoo at home. You got the hair product samples I sent to the Mystery Shack, right? Were you able to order the full products? I don't know what your budget looks like."
"Don't worry about it, I still have the leftovers from the samples."
He watched in glee as Pacifica died a little on the inside. "Th— Those were one use sample sizes. It's been a month, how do you still have leftovers."
In truth, Pacifica severely overestimated the amount of hair product needed to keep hair clean; but on the other hand Bill was deliberately showering as little as he thought he could get away with and making up the difference in the downstairs half bath sink, so he didn't think smugly flaunting that he technically knew more about minimum human hygiene requirements than she did would make him look as cool and knowledgable as he wanted it to. "Don't worry about it!"
Bill cast one last longing look toward his true face; and then he followed the humans into the restroom to let them reorganize his stupid human hair.
####
"This is just a temporary measure," Pacifica warned as she dunked a few more of Goldie's curls in the sink. "You have got to take a real shower before your date. You literally smell like fish."
"What kind of fish?" Goldie immediately asked. "Is it salmon? If it's salmon I can work with that."
Sitting on the closed toilet lid, Mabel let out a long-suffering sigh; and Pacifica got the horrifying impression that this was an ongoing conversation.
"It... I don't... know what kind of fish."
Mabel said, "It's probably just the trout guts from yesterday." What the heck was life like in poor people's homes?
In Pacifica's opinion, Goldie's hair was both his biggest asset and his worst disaster area. It was that beautiful, natural, curly gold, like something out of a fairy tale; but it was nightmarishly tangled and there was literal sand in it, and he'd clearly used conditioner at some point in the last few days but he hadn't fully washed it out and it just made more sand stick.
Goldie was sitting in the folding chair with one arm rested on the lip of the sink and his cheek resting on his arm. Pacifica had to alternate between soaking his hair under the faucet and trying to gently untangle it, inch by inch, with a comb. To his credit, he patiently endured it without making a word of complaint, even though both the positioning and the manhandling had to be uncomfortable.
But he'd turned his face away from Pacifica and Mabel as much as he could from his awkward position; and whenever Pacifica moved to an angle that let her glimpse a bit of his face, his eyes were squeezed shut and his mouth was pressed thin in a grimace. The hand resting on the sink's lip had clenched into a fist, and his other hand was digging its (badly painted) fingernails into his thigh through his bedsheet skirt.
Hesitantly, she asked, "Are you comfortable?"
"I'll give it three out of five stars," Goldie said, "but if you want a lower score, I can try to find a worse angle for my neck!" He kept as much tension out of his voice as he could; but now that Pacifica had noticed it, she could tell his voice was a bit flattened.
"Never mind," she said. "No offense, but—when's the last time you combed this?" She'd been saying no offense a lot.
Mabel asked, "Have you done it since I brushed your hair at the sleepover?" He had Mabel doing his hair?
Goldie made a noncommittal noise. "I've washed it since then."
"That's not the same," Mabel said.
"You've washed it?" Pacifica asked skeptically. "Because you look like you've been sleeping in mud." She'd found a few flecks deep in his thick curls.
"Okay, in my defense," Goldie said, "it was just garden-variety heavy metal-enriched local dirt when I went to sleep. It only turned into mud while I was unconscious."
Pacifica stopped combing and leaned over to stare at Goldie, speechless.
With an air of affronted dignity, he said, "It wasn't my idea. I wanted to be indoors."
"Goldie's been having a really bad week," Mabel said.
"I've been having a really bad month," Goldie said.
Mabel asked, "Haven't you had a shower since you got home, though?"
There was a pause. Goldie muttered, "Yeah, but—it's hard to get through all that hair." (The worst part was, Pacifica thought he was telling the truth. The fact that she'd found mud so deep meant he must have washed the majority off the outer layers of his hair.) "I—I've been—tired, okay?"
He had that air of impatient irritation that suggested he was embarrassed, but trying to hide it because he was embarrassed of being embarrassed. Strange from Mr. Apathetic About His Body to be self-conscious. Why? Did he not know how to take care of his hair? (Maybe if he'd properly used the samples she'd sent him...)
But Pacifica thought back to Mabel showing her a lock of his hair at the beginning of summer—and the liquified roots, melted off. That wasn't an accident. Whatever depilatory cream he'd used had to sit there on the roots, it wasn't like he'd just grabbed the wrong product by accident. There was something more than ignorance going on here. Self-sabotage? But if it was intentional, why would he be embarrassed?
She could call him out, interrogate him for it—hey, she was supposed to be his style consultant, she needed to know what was going on—but if he was already getting defensive, he'd just clam up if he thought he was really under attack. Her mom got the same way when she was getting cagey about something and Pacifica was trying to figure out why. So she switched her focus. "Mabel—did you say you brushed his hair?"
"Yeah?"
"You meant 'combed his hair,' right?"
"No, I brushed it," Mabel said.
Pacifica stared at her. "Why."
Mabel stared back. "Because... combs are for short guy hair and for parting your hair? And Goldie doesn't have a part?"
Pacifica looked down at the big ball of frizzy curls that made up the bottom half of Mabel's hair and suddenly understood so much. "Oh, hon." What were her parents like. What did their hair look like. "You're supposed to comb natural curls. And only when they're wet, if you can help it."
"What. Why."
"It keeps the curls together," Goldie said, "instead of separating them all into separate strands."
Mabel's eyes widened. "Wait, that's the secret?! I thought that's what expensive shampoos are for!"
"The expensive shampoos make it worse," he cheerfully informed her. He'd brushed Pacifica off and sat up, chin in hand and hair dripping over his shoulders, so he could talk to Mabel. "It strips off the grease your pores naturally excrete to lube up your hair and replaces it with manmade grease! Which is why your hair dries out when you stop using the fancy shampoo. It's a big scam!"
Mabel stared at him in shock; then asked, hesitantly, "My strawberry shampoo?"
"A dirty traitor," Goldie said. "It's one of those toxic friends that manipulates you into depending on them and then tells you you're nothing without their help! There's half a dozen chemicals you wanna avoid in shampoo—I don't remember all their names but I can draw their chemical structures, Sixer can translate 'em into English for you."
"What else am I doing wrong?"
"You shampoo your hair too often," Goldie said. "And blow dry it. Which is fine if you want to keep that dry frizz! But somehow I don't think you do!"
Okay—so he clearly did understand curly hair care. (Or at least, he understood it as much as Pacifica, whose knowledge came entirely from reading magazine articles that technically weren't aimed at her.) Then why didn't he do it?
Mabel dragged her hands down her face. "So all this time, I've been messing up your hair too? Goldiiie, why didn't you say anything!"
"I didn't really care!"
Pacifica said, "Okay no, I am not standing for this. Goldie, out. Mabel, sink. It's some kind of crime for me to know more about curly hair than you do. I'm showing you how to do this the right way."
Goldie sighed in relief and escaped as Pacifica subjected Mabel's hair to the faucet and comb.
####
(Here's this week's What Was Edited Due To TBOB summary: the pageant scene itself was already planned, but obviously, all the details—it's the day he was born, the mayor's there handing out knives and declaring it a holiday—came from the info we get on Bill's history via TBOB. Finding a way to make the knives make sense was fun. Nothing major in the rest of the chapter was changed.
Hope you enjoyed! Next week is more Pacifica!)
#(I'm forbidding myself from drawing backgrounds in chapter art until March)#(If i draw a background put a skunk in my inbox)#bill cipher#human bill cipher#(for the art & chapter)#pacifica northwest#mabel pines#(for the chapter even tho they aren't in the art. this is pacifica's chapter!!)#scalene cipher#(<- yknow what?? she gets a big scene too. might as well tag her.)#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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All true and delightful, but you should really report your cash tips. Not because it's the right thing to do or it's the law or any of that jazz. But because you will absolutely get fucked over on your social security payments later in life (or earlier if you become/are disabled) if you do not.
Social security works by taking the top 35 years of your employment and using that, with some arcane graphs, to calculate how much you will receive when you hit 67. If you don't have any reportable income for a year, say because you took all of your payments in cash and didn't report it on your taxes, you get a zero. If more than 25 of those years are 0s, i.e. if you have reported less than 10 years of income, YOU WILL NOT GET ANY SOCIAL SECURITY. Period. None. Not even if you contributed enormous amounts in the other 9.5 years. It will all be gone and you will not be eligible for any social security payments, even if you become disabled or would be eligible for survivor's benefits. (Yes these rules have exceptions and details based on ages and categories, but this is a general rule.)
But Jack, you might say, I have basically no money! I can't afford to pay taxes on what I do earn!
How do you know my name, and why are you in my house, I will reply.
But in all seriousness, if you have basically no money, you are exactly the person who should be reporting it! If you have very low income:
1. You will likely pay low or no taxes and may be eligible to receive payments instead, which you can only get by filing. If you are in the bottom 20% of earners, on average social security taxes will cost 8.3% of your income but tax credits will return 9.3%, leaving you ahead now and in 35 years years, just by filing.
2. Social security has a minimum benefit amount based on years in the workforce. If you retired today after 35 years of paying 5$ a year in social security taxes, congratulations you're now entitled to $1,066.50 per month! That's the best investment you could ever make!
3. You can report and pay taxes on your own income, even if your employer doesn't report or you do freelance or other non-employee work.
4. If you have an employer who does give you a W-2 and they try to get you to take your tips under the table or take a portion of your pay on the side they are trying to fuck you out of your social security. Why? Because the employer pays the same amount into your social security as you do and if they don't report your actual salary, they don't get taxed on the full amount and you don't get their payments credited.
People don't know these things because they aren't taught them. When I was a kid, I made $7 an hour working as a secretary in a church office for four hours a week. My parents made sure I reported every penny of it and paid taxes. The same thing happened for every summer job and student worker position when I was in college. As a result of that, at the age of 24 I had fulfilled my 10 year social security requirement and if I became disabled or couldn't find a job, I would still be vested in the program. If I get hit by a bus, my wife will collect a survivor's benefit. It probably cost 300$ over the course of ten years. I thought it was stupid at the time, I wanted the extra money, I thought taxes were bullshit when I made so little, but that was the best thing they could have done for me. The system is set up in such a way that it benefits those who understand it. I didn't, but I was lucky enough to be in the care of those who did.
There are people who tax evasion benefits. Those people aren't working part time jobs, waitressing, caddying, or doing housework though. They are evading tax bills larger than your yearly salary. And one of the ways they do it is to convince you to do it, so they don't have to pay their fair share of your benefits. And you know what all of those folks have in common, even as they dodge taxes across jurisdictions and try to convince you to take cash under the table? They all pay their fucking social security taxes.
STOP assigning pre-modern characters the trait “would commit tax fraud” without understanding how hard tax fraud was back in the days when a tax collector would physically come to your estate and assess your sitch. Do you have any idea how easy kids these days have it? You can just claim a few fake deductions or lie on a form and be a tax criminal. Your ancestors and fantasy faves had to work for those pennies.
Look at this house. This house has no mortar so it can be collapsed or moved to avoid taxation. That’s the sort of innovation I need to be seeing before you can call anyone in a feudal society a tax fraudster. They need to be hiding warehouses of goods, shoving grandpa in the basement to dodge the censusman, starting small regional wars, fleeing their villages in a constant semi-nomadic race against the forces of government, registering twins as a single child, or putting their life on the line to sell blackmarket bread. Come back when you have some tax fraud I can respect, not just a guy who looks kind of sleazy and sometimes does paperwork.
#lawblr#social security#social services#benefits#taxes#us taxes#tax evasion#law#I dunno it just makes me so frustrated to see ordinary working folks trying to evade taxes by operating in cash#because nine times out of ten you are fucking yourself and your family over#and people don't know because it isn't explained to them#sorry for hijacking the post
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cw: michael kaiser x afab! reader. all characters are aged 21. minors, dni! sexual themes ahead! virginity loss | reader is innocent | i tried making kaiser stay in character | huge angst. part two of this
imagine michael kaiser coming back to you, his childhood friend, only to be slapped by the reality that both of you are from different worlds now.
so kaiser actually came back after four years of being gone. that time, he was one of the starters in germany's biggest teams, while you were taking some culinary classes at the local community college. your parents want you to take over that bakery one day.
the first time you saw him in person after all these years, you didn't recognize him from a far, but as he got a little bit too close, your eyes widened. it was your childhood bff, kaiser.
unlike the grumpy and furrowed brows he always wore, he now wears a confident and smug expression. nevertheless, you were happy to see him. he looked so much happier and healthier.
you couldn't help but to exclaim "mihya!" upon seeing him. you even hugged him in joy.
kaiser felt that your touch was so warm. he was shocked by the hug at first but after few seconds, he returned it.
"it's been a long time." you said before taking a look at his face. he just gave you a smile in response.
you two tried to talk about things that's happening in your life right now. he told you that after his arrest, he was taken as a scholar by munchen bastard. so basically, soccer saved his life. meanwhile, you told him that your parents want you to take over the bakery so you took culinary programs and short courses.
like before, you gave him free bread— which was now made by you, not your mom, and some coffee.
you even let him taste the new pastries that you just added in the menu. you told him that you tried making some macarons and muffins. you told him that you sell it to kids for a cheaper price so they could afford it. if you have leftovers, you just give it to them. the bakery is in the slum area, so most of them didn't come from fortunate families.
kaiser just shook his head upon hearing your story. he tells you that it's just like you. he told you that you've always been nice, just like how you were to him in the past.
honestly... kaiser wasn't like this before. he always wore a scowl on his face. but you like the new him. it seemed that he was really a lot happier. and you were happy for him.
kaiser admitted that he didn't want to come back to this place because it brought back a lot of unpleasant memories to him, but you were the reason why he came by. he wanted to see you.
after that, kaiser became a regular. once a week, whenever he's free, he would come.
in cameras, kaiser seemed to be really cocky and confident but inside your family bakery, he seem to be more quiet. when it comes to you, he becomes a listener— but of course, he's still smug and confident. maybe, it's because of his accomplishments. and you can't blame him for that.
peace was in between the both of you until about four months after his visit, the paparazzis who followed him took a photo of you both. you and him were laughing at the counter together. of course, this was a big scoop for them.
so that photo spread on social media, newspapers, and even made it to the news. it was an overwhelming experience, and you felt so naked in people's eyes.
kaiser's management told him to lie low for a while but knowing kaiser, that did not stop him. he still continued to come over.
until one day, he happened to be there while the reporters were bombarding your bakery.
"oh, she's my girlfriend." kaiser admitted with a smirk, wrapping an arm around your shoulders. this earned a :shocked face: from you 😲
after that, his management really grounded and guarded him from going outside. so he just asked his personal assistant and chauffeur to pick you up.
people in the slums swarmed around when they saw the fancy car that picked you up. when you asked why they were there, they said kaiser wants to see you. you were hesitant but you followed anyways.
when you arrived at kaiser's luxury apartment, your eyes widened while they wandered and looked around. as a girl who grew up in slum area, this looked like disneyland to you. i mean, your house is one of the "fanciest" for slums, but this... this is FANCY.
kaiser greeted you, wearing some sweatpants and some sweater. you just smiled at him and he asked you to sit on the couch.
he gave you a glass of wine, which you accepted— he smiled at how cute you looked when you held the wine glass with two hands. you couldn't help it because it looks like it's worth a month of sales from your bakery.
you both were catching up about things that happened that week. when things got silent after your little laughs with him, you asked him why he did that on his last visit. basically, he admitted that you're his girlfriend.
kaiser told you that he's actually already courting you by visiting you almost every time he's free. he said in a smug way that in his mind, you are his girlfriend, whether you like it or not.
you, as a naive girl, actually admitted your feelings for him ever since you guys were young. you told him how you loved how he protected you from kids in the slums and how it made you so happy that he reached success. you started crying tears of joy.
somehow, the both of you started kissing, which ended up in a heated makeout session. he even unbuttoned the blouse you were wearing and started lifting up your skirt.
your face started heating up, along with your ears, when kaiser carried you towards his bedroom.
as both of you were making out on the bed with him on top of you, you stopped for a while and admitted that you're a virgin.
kaiser smirked when you said that. he told you that he's gonna take care of you the rest of the night so all you have to do is lay down and let him do all the work.
his tongue was great and pleasured you real well. the way his hands gripped around your thighs while he eats you out was a new sensation for you. his fingers were in and out of your hole while eating you out.
kaiser teased your clit with the tip of his cock as he kissed you on the lips. he lubed it up with your wetness before pushing it inside.
it did hurt. you gripped his shoulder, leaving some scratches as he waited for you to adjust before he started moving.
your first time felt heavenly, and you didn't expect it to be kaiser— the person who lived two worlds apart from you.
the aftercare was great too. after you guys finished, he wiped you with a towel and ran a bath for you. when you told him about your white frilly skirt that got stained, he immediately asked his assistant to buy you some new skirt. you did not expect him to get some D&G skirt for you. you were hesitant to accept it, but eventually, you did because he kept insisting.
when you guys were done, kaiser wanted to be the one to bring you home. until his secretary arrived and told him that he has to go training and attend a presscon. you swore, his secretary was glaring at you when he noticed you in the room.��
kaiser sighed and told you that his assistant and chauffeur would be the one to just take you home. he gave you a kiss before you go.
during the drive home, you were thinking deeply about this that's been happening. and you were sad that it wasn't kaiser who brought you back home. but you tried to understand. he's a huge star now.
it even hurt more when he never contacted or called you after that.
you thought you'd be different from other girls who he admitted to have dated, but you realized, you were just some girl to be discarded. you didn't just lose someone. he was your best friend, your protector.
you were even more bitter when weeks later, you saw him on the news. kaiser was going to be in france for a year to have some strict football training. when the media asked about you, he avoided the question.
it left a sour feeling in your mouth. both of you really lived two worlds apart.
more parts??? idk convince me guys hahaha this wasnt proofread btw
#bllk smut#bllk x reader#bllk x you#blue lock x reader#bllk headcanons#blue lock smut#michael kaiser x you#michael kaiser smut#bllk x y/n#bllk imagines#blue lock imagines#💗★ vivi's tots
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can we see a au where Jon and y/n decide to run away to idk get married or find a better place to raise their kid/kids?
I absolutely can Anon ��
(This is only short and written in 3rd person I’m Srry 💕)
Alternative Ending To Teen Hero Shenanigans
Note: I can’t see Reader or Jon wanting to actually run away from their families so I imagine this is their own way of escaping the media and paparazzi (also partly because I imagine reader doesn’t want to face her maternal family)
Warnings: Running away, underage marriage (with consent), birth control, the uk IDK.
Note: PLEASE READ MY SERIES FIRST BEFORE READING THIS (this is an alternative ending and not the official ending)
Pairing: Jonathan Kent x Batsis!Reader (who is Damian’s twin)
Words: 600??
- These two run away out of fear for their children, not from their families; of course not. The batfam and superfam know they both have ran off and are safe, but their location is never disclosed.
- You’re actually the one who proposed the idea to Jon, you two could run away with your baby and not have to worry about psychopathic villains and threats from your maternal family.
- He agrees under one condition, you tell your families you’re going and you will be safe. You agreed, you had a gorgeous son. He resembled Jon more than you, that made you happy. When you looked at yourself all you saw was your grandfather staring back at you, despite in charm and appearance you more so resembled Bruce if anything; but you still saw it.
- You told Damian everything, and you also swore him to secrecy. He tried to be strong, but you saw tears fall from his eyes when you told him your plan. You hugged him as if never wanting to let go, you also took a look at your sleeping newborn son. And the worst possible scenarios came to mind, what if one day you can’t save him?
- So it was decided, you eventually agreed moving to a whole new country would be best. As selfish as it sounded, you had just started your career and Jon was at his peak. But you wished the sleeping baby would never have to pick up a sword nor a grappling hook. You and Jon have a secret wedding, only your father and his parents are in attendance and with consent from both parents you’re officially husband and wife.
- You came across a beautiful village in Britain, Castle Comb, it had gorgeous houses, a beach nearby, long winding rivers, the cutest shops and even a local school was built there recently; perfect for your son. You wait a year, just long enough for Jon to finish school, only one long flight and all three of you will be living together finally. So far your son just had to go between you two as both of you were too young to move in together.
- but it would all be okay, as soon as Jon turns 18 and finishes school you’ll get a house together in the village; Jon will attend a college nearby as you stay at home with your baby, with the money your father has given you you can support your whole family until Jon can get a job and become financially independent from your father. Who still wonders and hopes your close by; not knowing you’re in a whole different continent, across a whole ocean.
- You thought you’d hate staying at home while Jon was out making progress for your family. But you didn’t; your son had started walking and you enjoyed your little trips to the beach nearby. If you ever get stressed from the fact you’re such a young mother, you ask the lovely neighbouring old couple for help, they were originally surprised at such an extremely young married couple and their 2 year old; but you’re so grateful for them, you’d never be able to do this without them.
- On a funny note you’re now praying your birth control works, now that your son repeats EVERYTHING you say (including curse words) you can’t deal with another one, for now of course.
- Sometimes you feel guilty, wondering if your family misses you and are looking for you. You’re planning to surprise them for your son’s third birthday, you still want him to know his grandfather, surrogate great grandfather and countless uncles and aunts. Even though your baby boy is a little shy, he’s just like you when you were young, shy and curious about life.
- You still make daisy rings and place them on the same finger as your wedding ring, it reminds you of when you first met Jon. Two silly fifteen year olds bonding over his friend and her brother running away, and here they are 3 years later still making the same rings.
———————
I LOVE THESE TWO <3
#x reader#imagine#batfamily x reader#batfam#batfamily#batfamily imagine#batsis#batsis!reader#batfam x batsis#damian wayne#damian wayne x sister reader#damian wayne x twin reader#jon kent x batsis#jon kent x reader#bruce wayne x daughter!reader#bruce wayne x reader#damian wayne x reader#batsis x batfam#batfam x reader#batfam imagine#dc x batsis#damian al ghul#al ghul family
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SMALL TALKS
DEAN WINCHESTER X DEMON!READER
WARNINGS: nothing!! just pure, tooth rotting fluff that will also make you yearn for dad!dean
SUMMARY: with majority of their children being in school, little monster and dean have their plates full with keeping each of them out of trouble.
WORD COUNT: 1.4k
the truck door slammed behind dean and his little monster in the passenger seat, your face turning to his as he heard a soft sigh leave your lips. what had just transpired at the school had been shocking, seeing that you and dean strived on the fact that your children tell you everything.
lily and milo had been picked up by sam and his wife the second you and dean got the call, knowing that this visit to the school was going to be one without a three and two year old attached to your hips. the car ride was silent, soft chatter filling the space when clara and lincoln were picked up from their middle school, but that was it.
there was a grace period in which the two of you could drop the eldest children off at home and wait until the little’s need to be picked up from their elementary school. it was mostly filled with you and dean talking about what course of action you’d take with the phone call, but it was also listening to clara talk about her day and how her history teacher was out to get her.
when the clock struck 3pm, the truck was rumbling back down the road, headed to an impending conversation that dean never thought he’d need to have in his life. he never thought he’d ever have children, better yet ten foster ones, so when his little monster got a call that one of their children had gotten in a fight, he knew that this was going to be a big moment in his parenting journey.
by the time it was 3:15, five out of six of his children were in the car. luke and sam were babbling to each other about pokémon or god knows what boys their ages talked about, sadie was showing you the drawing she made in art class, marley was eagerly listening to her sisters rambles while adding in her own little commentary, and then there was scarlett, sitting behind your seat and longingly staring out the window.
dean was watching her intently, seeing the remnants of sadness on her cheeks. it was evidentially clear that dean’s little scarlett was thinking about two things; the mean words that the cruel boy sneered at her today, and how bad of a punishment her twin brother thatcher was going to get for defending her.
that is what the call had been about. apparently, a boy a year older than scarlett had cornered her on the playground, spewing hurtful words about how she was taken in by you and dean like an unwanted mutt. the poor girl had already been in tears by the time the boy had said her real parents never wanted her, and thatcher had already been reaching for the boys shoulder from behind.
from what the principal explained to you and dean, the blows thatcher delivered to this boy were brutal, and a broken nose and severely bruised eye had been left in the wake of the nine year olds rage. no one talked to his siblings like that — heck, no one talked to his twin like that without hearing back from him.
he’d been taken down to the principal’s office, and the call had been made. this had all been around twenty minutes ago, and dean still remembered the view of thatcher’s arm around scarlett’s shoulder, her tiny hand clutching his tightly in the rearview mirror of the truck.
his son was fiercely protective, and dean couldn’t even be really mad at him for what he did.
but as the last of the children left the car, scampering up the gravel of the driveway, you and dean looked at each other, a look that spoke a thousand words. you two weren’t even mad at thatch; that little boy had it coming for what he said to scarlett, and someone had to teach him a lesson. but as parents, you needed to make sure your kids knew that violence was never the answer.
as much as the two of you resorted to it most of the time.
“dean i don’t know what to do,” you finally said, breaking the silence and scrubbing a hand down your face. “this has never happened before. and as much as i would love to tell thatch that i’m proud of him, i know as parents we can’t do that.”
a laugh tore from dean’s lips, rumbling in his chest as he grabbed your hand, bringing it to his mouth and running your knuckles across in a feather soft motion. “i know baby,” he breathed, holding your hand tightly in his grasp. “but as much as he should know that looking out for scar is important, he also needs to know that sometimes violence isn’t the answer.”
“this is really rich coming from us.” you chuckled, and dean couldn’t agree more. you were a demon for hell’s sake, he a hunter. violence was in your nature, and there was a gnawing feeling in dean’s gut that thatcher got his keen sense of violence from his daddy.
a smile graced dean’s lips, and in a feeble attempt to get to the conversation at hand, he leaned over the centre console and opened your door, leaving a lingering kiss on your cheek before he spoke softly in your ear. “cmon little monster, let’s go do some hard core parenting.”
thatcher had been sitting on one of the lawn chairs in the backyard, spine still and hands placed delicately in his lap as he thought about the days events. that’s where you and dean had found him, and it stirred a solemn feeling in your gut that your little boy felt so broken up when all he wanted to do was protect his twin sister.
it was his birthright to protect. he and scarlett had come into the world together — albeit thatcher three minutes earlier, and it would be a cold day in hell before he saw his sister cry at the hands of false words.
you and dean had been standing at the back door, waiting for a good moment to interfere when thatcher’s voice broke through the tense silence. “i would do it again y’know,” he spoke clearly, turning his head slightly so his side profile was on display to you and dean. “and not just for scar, for all of my siblings.” a lump rose in your throat, a sudden realization that you had raised your children to be kind and good people, someone who people could trust.
“i don’t care that majority of them aren’t my blood siblings,” thatcher continued, ringing his hands together as you and dean stayed silent. “they’re my family, you’re my family. you guys were there for me and scarlett when things got tough. so was clara, link — heck even milo and lily.” he giggled at the end of his statement, and you couldn’t help but let a teary giggle out as well.
“what i’m trying to say is that all of you mean the world to me, and i would beat up as many bullies as i need to just to make sure that my siblings are smiling.”
the pitter patter of your feet running over to where thatcher sat was the first sound to be heard, your sniffling the second. you lunged at the nine year old boy who was way too wise beyond his years and engulfed him in a hug from behind. kisses were planted on his forehead, and the idea to say violence was never the answer went completely out the window.
“you might not be biologically ours,” you spoke into his ear, ruffling his hair as you spoke. “but you will always be our son, always have a special place in me and your dads hearts.” your words were followed by dean’s hand resting on thatch’s shoulder, the boy in question turning his head to look at his father.
“you are mine and your mothers son through and through, thatcher winchester; and i’ve got some tricks to teach you if more bullies try to mess with scarlett or any of your other siblings again.”
thatcher just smiled, resting his head on dean’s shoulder as you nuzzled your face against his. “i love you mama, i love you too papa.”
and at once, dean winchester knew what peace was. he felt it in the loving embrace of his little demon, in the arms of his ten foster children. he felt it in the beautiful home you and him created as a safe space for your children, and he finally understood what normalcy felt like.
TAGS: @titsout4jackles @starzify @floralscented @deansbeer @bluemerakis @deanangel @haunteres @figthoughts @gibson-g1rl @foolinthera1n @whisperingdaze @honeyryewhiskey @misatxox @a-lil-pr1ncess
NAT BABBLES: i love post szn 15 dean having a litter of children and living happily on a farm with his lil monster☺️
#little monster#titsout4jackles#dean winchester x demon!reader#dean winchester#supernatural#sam winchester#ultravi0lence14#supernatural x reader#imagine#dean winchester x reader#dean winchester imagine#dean x reader
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No Yandere Simulator: Undine Eisner
(excuse the traditional art, I don't have the digital drawing skill, lol)
I'm sending Undine out to play with the neighbours' kids!
Category: Potential Rival - will investigate murders and murder attempts (turns up after murder and failed attempt) - will try to protect everyone (after failed murder attempt: guards the intended victim, no matter who it is) - will intervene in fights if she comes across them (tries to stop the fight, so no one gets injured/killed) - will try to stop a murder attempt, if she walks in on it (fights the attacker and tries to capture them) - will sneak/run away, if someone has a gun (Undine knows what she's made of and that she can't win against that)
In this AU, she moved with her family from Germany to whereever this school is, while her friends stayed back in Germany, so she is on her own at this school (still in contact with them though). Her family is actually political very right and hates foreigners, so they also hate to be foreigners, but one parent got such a great job opportunity here, you know: money. At any rate, Undine tries to be a "good" foreigner and "integrate" (assimilate). So, she prefers to get into fights (only with "bad guys" who "deserve it", of course) after school, to not be bad at school by breaking the rule against fighting there.
Other "values" taught at home are racism and queerphobia. With the bad influence of her parents instead of the good influence of her friends, Undine believes in these "values" much more. By mouthing off about her outdated and cruel points of view, Undine has ruined her own reputation at this school.
Her desire to be heroic and popular (even stronger in this AU) is constantly thwarted by herself. It's not just that she ends up discriminating students in her mindset to look down on differences to put herself higher, she also comes across as annoying, ignorant and patronizing when she tries to help people with little daily struggles (because there are so little big stuggles at this lame, mundane school).
While it is unclear, if Jade really has a romantic interest in Undine (as rumour has it), he is certainly interested in the contradiction between her heroic kindness and her villainous rude side and the resulting "entertaining behaviour". Undine is curious, if the rumour is true, but won't ask Jade outright. She wouldn't risk to get rejected by someone she doesn't even have a crush on. Goes against her pride.
In an AU, where she is not at a disadvantage with others having magic, but she herself not, Undine is pretty strong. She won't admit it, but her motivation to get stronger in the Martial arts club isn't just her wish to be heroic and save people, but also her less heroic lust for power (which physical strength is).
Her close friends call her "Dini" - but she doesn't have any close friends at this school. Undine has some kind of frivalry with Yuu Quinn (OC of @vvyvernicus), where they hang out together because most other people avoid them due to bad reputation, but they bicker and mock each other most of the time and Undine has the immature need to compete with Yuu Quinn over every little thing. But yeah, Undine does care about Yuu Quinn, so if anyone does something bad to her - it's personal and Undine will come for this bad guy with extra rage.
I hope Undine isn't too problematic with her discriminatory ways, but I thought if murder is okay, then her misdeeds should not be too hardcore for the AU. Undine can change and learn to be a better person - with some good-influence-friends, patience and learning from mistakes it's possible, even in this AU.
No Yandere Simulator ? (TWST AU)
AU Information:
This AU takes place similar to Yandere Sim but with Twisted Wonderland but Taro is Azul and Ayano is Quartz. Her goal is to eliminate… AZUL ASHENGROTTO. Yeah, her goal is actually to kill Azul and NOT the rivals. The rivals being your OCs/sonass and they have to protect Azul from Quartz and her dumb elimination plans.
More info on Quartz + Tweels info
Q&A for OCs!!!
This is an AU just for fun!! lol I just had a silly idea. Here’s a template if you wanna make your own oc into the AU (rival or not)
ALSO THEY DONT KNOW IT'S QUARTZ bc she's just a nobody girl
Bro you can tell I was hella lazy with Azul idk he’s too much
Rival List:
Romeo by @skrimpyskimpy
Shuu by @oya-oya-okay
Chiyo by @inotonline
Sable by @twsted-void
Jovie by @jovieinramshackle
Finn by @thehollowwriter
NPC/Non-Rival List:
Elfie by @quartzelfgf
Higashikuramori Shin by @liyuviq
Jade Leech
Floyd Leech
Rizy by @rizdoodls
Yuuki by @theolivetree123
Joseph by @readsrandomstuff67
Yuubeni by @bunniehunn
Yuya by @cheerleaderman
Shuu and Silly by @sillybillymillyrilly
Superstar!! By @imafrealinrainbow478484
Viz (Vizzie) by @twistedwonderlandshenanigans
Yuhua by @distant-velleity
Nyx by @blackcat101
Gia by @ramshacklerumble
Yuuko by @silkkorchid
Moch by @thatsadguymochi
Faye by @faerieluvss
Yukana by @babyghoul138
Antoinette by @antoinettedoodles
AJ by @karamatsuboy-aj
Evelyuu by @h0neybane
Paloma and Hydris by @mhedusard
(Let me know if I made a mistake lol)
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A/N: So…Patrick’s sister, this was supposed to be shorter but I uh…I got carried away, enjoy anyway!! <33
As patricks sister, you always understood the dynamic; Patrick is the overprotective annoying older brother and you are the nerdy—he says— younger sister.
So obviously, growing up with him was an interesting experience to say the least.
Before going to MRTA, he’d usually bring his friends over after school, and of course you being the pretty little thing you are, they’d always joke around about how Patrick’s sister was hot, (literally average twelve year old when they see any female) and well Patrick, Patrick was pissed, so this is when the golden rule—he calls it— came in.
Patrick’s sister is off-limits.
Which eventually stopped being a big deal when he left for MRTA, since you’d only see him for holidays and breaks, and you didn’t really get to meet any of his friends.
Then Art comes into Patrick’s life; Bunkmates since they were twelve, both in their first year away from home.
For the first summer break, Patrick left to go to your family’s lake house with you and your parents, and Art went back home to visit his nana, he knew his parents would most likely be away working—as per usual.
But he actually finds out that his nana had already been sent to a retirement home 15 minutes out of his home town, so he visited every couple of days during that summer even though his nana kept telling him, “Artie, you don’t have to visit an antique like me, go be a kid, enjoy your summer” however he insisted in staying around her to keep company.
So when they get back, Patrick “loud mouth” Zweig rants to Art about his summer, and Art simply nods thinking about how he’d most likely stay in the academy next summer, not like he had much to go back to at home.
Fast forward a couple of months, it’s Christmas; Art is helping Patrick pack last minute when there’s a knock at the door, then they hear a feminine voice.
“Come on dickwad, mom and dad are waiting in the car”
Patrick groaned as he started to shove his things into his bag, then looking back at art as he folded some of Patrick’s shirts.
“Hey, Donaldson, mind getting the door? It’s my fuck ass sister” he said casually as he grabbed the shirts from Art.
“Sure” Art mumbled not thinking much, only trying to imagine a female Patrick behind the door, seeing as he’s never met you, so there he goes, he opens the door and finds—not a female Patrick— but the prettiest girl he’d seen just standings there in the most angelic way.
“Hey…?”
“Art, it’s uh— my name is Art” he’s stumbling over his own words in the stupidest way possible.
“What kind of name is Art? Are you like an Arthur or something?” He cringes internally but before he can answer Patrick pushes past him.
“It’s just Art, leave him alone, he’s my best friend, only I can make fun of him, find one yourself, kid” Patrick speaks as he walks out the door with his things then turns to Art, “going home for Christmas, Donny?”
Art despised that nickname, the tips of his ears went red as his whole face flushed, but he shook his head.
“My parents said they won’t be able to make for Christmas and I— I don’t want to worry my nana so…” he said shyly and a bit disappointed but, they were the same parents that had forgotten his birthday a year ago and days later brought a cake that said “happy 14th birthday” when he was turning 12.
“Awe…that sucks man, I’ll talk to my parents, you can tag along with us to our lake house next summer”
And that’s how the tradition all started, every summer, Art would spend it with Patrick’s parents, you and Patrick at the lake house, which gave him enough time to catch a little something his nana called a Lovebug, essentially, his was crushing hard.
But of course, there was the golden rule— totally off-limits.
And Art was…fine with it, it’s not like you’d ever like him back, he was probably just “Patrick’s quiet best friend” to you.
Little did he know…
Then fast forward a couple years later, coincidentally, you would also be going to Stanford without actually knowing Art had already been there for a year.
And Stanford was full of frat parties, Halloween costume parties and in general, any party within a 10 mile radius.
And you, pretty little freshman had been invited to a frat party by one of the juniors in your econ class, and I mean, you can’t be rude, right? You have to go.
So, you do.
You wind up in a frat house with a shit ton of people, some cigarette smoke and, a whole bunch of red disposable cups, so why not grab one, what’s the worst thing it could have in it, beer probably?
Wrong.
Something that to you tasted exactly what rubbing alcohol smelled like, so it goes straight from the cup to your mouth then back to the cup as you cringe letting out a single dry cough.
“You alright there?” A gentle voice popped up from behind you, familiar but you couldn’t quite tell, but as you turn there he is; Art fucking Donaldson. With a backwards red Stanford cap and a grey Stanford hoodie.
Oh.
“Oh— Art…hey” you chuckle softly still smelling the mysterious alcohol from your mouth.
“This isn’t quite your scene, huh?” He spoke as he took a sip from his cup with that goddamn side smirk of his.
“Yeah— no, I mean, I’ve been to parties, fun, fun parties. And this, this is so my scene” you rambled nervously, it was already embarrassing enough you, a freshman was at a frat party with a pretty floral skirt and a crochet sweater.
“Really? Oh…then have fun, fun girl” he laughed as he lifted his cup a bit towards you to then walk away.
Fuck it. You were gonna get wasted.
And so, that you did; Somehow ending up in just a soaked tank top, a soaked skirt, hair dripping water and, squeaky wet shoes as you stumbled out of the pool from the backyard.
“Hey, watch it—“ Art turned as he felt your body bump against his, “oh it’s you, fun girl.” He giggled as he saw you, clearly too drunk to even know what was going on, and he could’ve just laugh it off and get back to the party, but Art wasn’t like that, and specially not to you, you’re such a pretty little thing all wasted and soaked past midnight, plus, you were Patrick’s sister. He had to.
So he said his goodbyes and grabbed you as you both walked out of the frat to go back to campus.
“So tell me, miss Zweig, how does one, as drunk as you, not drown in a pool?” He said as he saw you hold onto his arm for dear life trying not to trip, which might have just dug up something he had buried years ago.
“Y’know, im fun, and this is so my people” you said looking up at him—just barely— as you let out a hiccup.
He blushed as he heard it, clearly it was your first time getting drunk drunk, adding on to the wet hair and your shivering body,
“Right, fun girl, my bad” he chuckled “come on you’re shivering, here” he pulled his hoodie off as he handed it to you, “can’t let you catch a cold, how else will you go to your next party, miss fun girl”
“Thank you, Artie.” You said as you grabbed the hoodie sliding it over your head feeling the warmth it carried from Arts body, accompanied by the faint smell of his cologne.
Meanwhile, Art was feeling like his spine had just been ripped out; Artie.
You hadn’t called him that since the summers at the lake house, where he had attempted and failed to forget his crush on you.
“Yeah— I uh…yeah” he blushed even harder as he fumbled his words not knowing how to react.
You just shut your eyes and breathed in the scent of his cologne to then open them up, there you were, doe eyed looking at him, in his hoodie, hair soaked as you unconsciously made it harder for him to be a good friend to Patrick, he felt horrible.
Not only did the disgusting thought of wanting to fuck you against his jeep popped into his head, this is Patrick’s sister he’s fantasizing about.
“Come on— I uh, I gotta get you back on campus” he cleared his throat as he looked away avoiding your stare.
“You’re no fun anymore, Artie…” a pout made itself present as you took a step closer, your hands landing on his shoulders, “come on, Donny…”
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
“Patrick would kill me, you know that.”
“I won’t tell”
He wasn’t proud of himself for turning back to look at you, but you were just so pretty, lucky he didn’t have a boner, if he hadn’t given you the hoodie to cover your very visible nipples against the tank top, he’d probably have you bent over his cars hood.
“I really— I can’t…” he mumbled, his face inches away from yours, noses brushing against each other.
“You sure?” You whispered as you stared down at his lips, “not just this once?”
“Fuck…” he muttered under his breath, well…there goes his willpower, he was in too deep already.
Next thing he knows, you’re riding him in the backseat of his car, all flushed, tits out, him whimpering as he dug his fingers into your hips holding on for dear life throwing his head back, and windows all fogged up.
Yeah, he was so screwed.
He will most definitely be breaking the golden rule for…well, let’s just say it’s not a one time thing.
#art donaldson#mike faist#patrick zweig#josh o'connor#challengers#art donaldson x reader#art donaldson fic#Patricks sister au#artick#baby moon yaps
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— “You haven’t changed”
( pairing) - nerd!Heeseung x f!r 3kwc + smut. not proofread!! 3rd pov Contains!! Mentions of sexual themes/mean heeseung [reqs are open] ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓁ibrary 🪷
Authors notes, for some reason its not letting me link this post to the actual request, so hopefully whoever requested this sees it
🔖 @jwonistic @bubblytaetae @pkjay @planetmarlowe @dreeki @butterflywonz @lillotus17 @squiishymeow @river-demon-slayer @jiamini @sol3chu @right-person-wrong-time @riribelle
You and Your boyfriend both shared a mutual agreement that your relationship was strictly for show, or at least that was the terms you had given him. After the two of you had been caught cozying up to one another, at one of Jake's parties. Since then people had started putting the two of you with one another and you had simply accepted it. Jay was tired of the swarm of girls that’d surrounded him when he arrived on campus and you didn’t care for any of the guys there because all of them acted the same. Obviously Jay knew what he had been getting himself into with making you his girlfriend though, after all you were one of the most sought out girls in the university's freshman class.
Not to mention you were the dean's daughter, which meant everyone would either suck up to you or go through him thinking it’d get them into your mothers good graces. Though little did they know you yourself were slipping through the cracks of your mothers sincerity. Your grades were slipping bringing you from rank 1 to rank 2 of top scoring students on campus. Number one being Yang Jungwon and Number two being Lee Heeseung, a man you had known all too well since middle school. He was a friend of your eldest brother, the two of them having been friends so long tbz you couldn’t remember a time where Heeseung wasn’t at your house, sat on the couch playing video games with your brother. All you knew wanted him was that the boy owned more keyboards than he knew people, and the only reason you had known that was because you once heard him and your brother talking about it in discord.
That's all there ever did though, and you found him and your brother to be agonizingly boring. All they had ever done was play games, snack on junk food and waste away in their parents' attic playing d&d or reading old comics. Of course your mother loved Heeseung, damn near treated him like her son right along with you and your brother, and yet it didn’t make you any more interested in him than you had once been as kids.
Finally making it back to your apartment after having gotten chewed out by your mom and sat through an agonizing number of classes you were relieved to finally have some peace. Though your temporary serenity was interrupted as you heard a knock on the door forcing you up from the couch and having you stride over to the door. The scowl on your face had immediately changed to a smile as you found your brother on the other side.
“Anton!?” His arms wrap around you catching you in a tight embrace as you leapt into his arms, not having seen him in almost a year since he had chosen to travel instead of going to college.
“You haven’t grown at all.”
“Don’t start, look at you all grown up. What are you doing here?!” Your little brother had in fact grown up, ditching his glasses, old plaid button ups and bowl cut he’d always rocked when the two of you were younger. He looked like a man now, and he had grown tall enough to surpass you in height, meaning you no longer had anything to tease him about.
“I talked to mom and she said you lived here, I was hoping..to crash her for a few days?”
“Anton seriously…why can’t you just go to mom and dads?” You groan knowing that if he stayed here your peace would fly out the window.
“You know how that goes everytime, I’m tired of arguing with them over my life plans.”
“Are they really still on your ass about not going to college?”
“Mom and dad, what do you think?” You sigh as he places you back onto your feet.
“Please?” Rolling your eyes at his sad attempt to sway you , you slide over letting him inside.
“Penthouse suite, you always were a spoiled princess.”
“For your information, I’m paying myself..well our parents are helping but I wouldn’t have felt alright with them paying it all.”
“Yeah you’re crazy I'd have let them pay it all.” He says flopping down onto the couch.
“So how long do you plan on staying exactly?”
“Four days tops, then I’ll be on the move again.”
“Are you still in that band?”
“Yup, we’re on break at the moment.”
“Mm you always did love music, though you were too busy hanging out with Heeseung and Sohee.”
“Oh right Heeseung, you two go to the same university right?”
“How do you know?” You snorted, making your brother roll his eyes in response.
“‘Mom how else?”
“I don’t know ive never seen him on campus, I only know he goes there because mom is always talking about him and you, and he passed me in the ranks for the top scholars.”
“You? A top scholar?” At your brother's reaction you grabbed the nearest thing to you, chucking it at his head.
“Okay okay, no more water bottles, I was only joking.”
Your phone rings interrupting your chat with your brother, slipping your hand into your pocket you pull out your phone and step away from the living room to answer the call.
“Yes Jay.”
“Well hell to you too sweetheart.”
“Jay I don’t have time for this, is this about something important or should I just hang up.”
“Won’t take up too much of your time sweetheart don’t worry, so the party at Jakes was canceled, his parents came home early from their trip, so we were all wondering, maybe we could move it to your place? It's been a while since you’ve thrown one.”
“Jay my brother is here. I can't just throw a party when he just got here.”
“You’re having a party?” Antons ears perk up at the mention of a party and he pushes himself up off the couch before making his way over to her.
“I wouldn’t mind a party” your eyes widen at your brother's sudden approval and you hear Jay chuckle on the other line.
“So is that a yes?”
__________
That was exactly how you ended up here, a house full of random strangers from camps you’d known absolutely nothing about because they had been friends of Jays rather than your own. You sat comfortably in Jay's lap, minding your business while he and his friends talked. Only getting up when you felt like you needed to throw back another drink to cure your boredom. Now you love a good party, but after the day you had you’d simply expected to just lie in bed and rest. As you had been making your way out of the kitchen you heard the faint sound of the doorbell making you audibly sigh as you sat your cup down and sauntered over to the door.
Pulling it open you were surprised to see none other than Lee Heeseung. By the looks of it he hasn't changed one bit, other than the fact that he had grown into his looks he still had dressed exactly the same as he did in high school.
“Heeseung?” You couldn’t hold back the shocked laugh that spilled from your lips.
Lee Heeseung? At a party?
“Yo Heeseung.” Heeseungs gaze shifted from you to your brother who had now been approaching the door with a goofy smile on his face.
“You actually came.” Your gaze shifts between Heeseung and your brother and you couldn’t help but laugh as you step aside and go back to your drink while the two talk
Maybe they hadn’t changed and both of them were just as nerdy and goofy as they had been when there were kids.
The rest of the night had gone by agonizingly slow for you, at some point the party began to die down and everyone had left, the only one staying behind being Heeseung so that he and your brother could catch up.
The two of them sat in the living room while you yourself sat on the kitchen counter stuffing your face with popcorn to cure your drunken dazed hunger.
“You haven’t changed one bit.” You let it slip past your lips in a drunken ramble, having thought it was something you said in your head rather than aloud.
“Did you say something yn?” Your brother asks, forcing Heeseung to turn his head and look at you as well
“Heeseung, he changed at all.” You respond still stuffing your mouth with popcorn
“You grew up a little, but Heeseung still looks the same, remember keely would call him the little nerdboy, and you geek charming.” You say with a small chuckle reliving the memory.
“Yeah, how much did you drink tonight exactly?” You roll her eyes in response.
“Enough to make me feel nice, not enough to make me drunk dad.” You respond sarcastically, making your brighter roll his eyes.
“Did you bring the game?” You could hear Anton ask, his and Heeseungs voices growing fainter and fainter as you made your way up the staircase and to your bedroom.
You had a peaceful shower, those heaven spent thirty minutes having sobered you up just enough. You had been getting ready to lay in bed when a knock at the door interrupted you mid climb. Letting out a frustrated groan you shuffled over to the door, feeling slightly annoyed that once again your peace had been interrupted. Yet you were surprised to see Heeseung on the other side.
“Heeseung?” For a moment he just stood there, his eyes scanning you before his arms snaked around your waist and he pushed you back into the room, closing the door behind him.
“Heeseung what”
“You’re so annoying, even after a year you’re still this annoying?”
“What-“
“You haven’t changed one bit, Jesus, you just don’t know when to stop talking.” He backs you against the door pressing your back directly into the knob making your face twist in discomfort.
“Heeseung, I was only joking.”
“Don’t care, you’ve been this way for as long as I can remember, you’d always have something to say about me, your brother too but I’m not so much interested in anything you’ve said about him.”
“You need to be humbled.” Before you had even had any time to register what was going on he shoves his hand into your shirt. His fingers tracing over your skin making goosebumps rise on your skin. His fingers squeeze your hips in a manner that forces you to stay pressed against him. His fingers slowly trailing down to your exposed thighs just below your shirt making you suck in a breath.
The side of his lips curled into a smirk as he heard a desperate whine that spilled past your plump lips, so quiet he’d damn near miss it if the room wasn’t so silent. The moment you opened your mouth to speak the sound of a slap rang throughout the room followed by a whine from you. Him having slapped your thigh to keep you quiet, focusing amusement in the way you used the back of your hand to try and suppress the noises that spilled past your lips.
“You’ve talked enough tonight.” His fingers immediately met your clit, pushing past your folds and slipping them right inside you with ease.
“Only sound I want to hear from you is your desperate little moans.” His thumb pressed against your clit as he started slowly, thrusting his fingers deep into you like he has done with you thousands of times.
“But A-Anton.” You force yourself to breathe out between ragged breaths, the way Heeseung continuously abuses your clit without letting up, making you squirm against the door.
“Went out to get snacks, told him I'd stay behind and look after you since you drank so much.” He responds by watching the way your face contorts between a look of pleasure and one of confliction.
Without hesitation he slipped in two more fingers, taking the time to stretch your walls and feel you out before he began to thrust them in and out slowly. The way you whine for him to move them faster only causes him to slow them down. His fingers thrust further into your cunt with every loud cry that left your mouth. He could tell you were getting annoyed with his sudden change in pace, he didn’t care though he thought it was what you deserved
“Heeseung” A chuckle spilled from his lips at how desperate you sounded.
“Hm? What is it baby hm? Too fast for you, should I slow it down some more?” He teases, slowing down the curling and thrusting of his fingers to an agonizingly slow pace.
“Look at you whining like a desperate little doll for some little nerdboy when you’ve got a boyfriend.” His eyes shoot to the mirror near your bedside and he forces you to stare straight ahead into it, giving you a perfect view of just how pathetic you looked, whining and whimpering while his fingers that were buried deep inside of you.
Finally forcing his fingers from your now dripping cunt he lifts you up throwing you onto your bed you had been coming into his mere moments ago. Face down ass up, with your hands pressed into your back, he has you completely vulnerable.
“Look at you, aren’t even trying not to give in, it's pathetic honestly. Is Jay not giving you what you need?” His hands traced your curves until his finger hooked within your panties, pulling them to the side.
“Fuck you’re already a mess” it took him less than a minute to shove his pants and boxers to the floor, the view of you making him all the more eager to take you right then and there. Something he had thought about time and time again since high school.
Your eyes rolled back immediately as Heeseung wasted absolutely no time and pushed himself inside of you until he fully bottomed out. Your tightness earned a low growl from him as he pushed so deep you could have sworn you felt him hit the top of your stomach. He watched the blissed out look on your face with every little thrust inside you.
“Taking me so well baby.” A chuckle spilled past his lips and he immediately spread your legs wider and pulled your ass up against him. Your moans were evident enough that whatever pain you felt from him stretching you out, if any had gone away. It was quite easy for him to get into the rythym of fucking into you, rough and feverish thrusts from the very beginning. Thrusts that caused your eyes to roll to the back of your head so hard you saw stars. He rolled his eyes and there was a hint of annoyance in his tone as he watched you force your face into the mattress trying to keep quiet.
Grabbing a fist full of your hair he forces your head back and presses you flat against his chest.
“Don’t try to be quiet now.” Your nails dug so deep into his thighs that you nearly drew blood. He watched the view from the mirror, watching the way strings of saliva dripped down your chin from the way your mouth hung open spilling pornographic moans.
“Look at you getting fucked by a nerd like me.” He immediately leans down to place kisses on your neck, your nipple between his fingers while his other hand fondles your breasts. The pleasure had been overwhelming your bodies in ways you hadn’t thought to be possible. From the feeling of his fingers against your breasts to every time he thrusted in to you feeling like the more he fucked the deeper into your stomach his cock seemed to push. Your thoughts had been so cloudy that you could barely even make out anything he had been talking to you about.
“Such a pretty little thing gonna cum all over my cock.” He immediately rested one hand on your waist while resting the other on your stomach and pushing down. He wanted to feel just how far his cock could go inside your little frame. This action was all it took to push you over the edge, the moment he pushed down upon your stomach your legs shook and it was a glorious sight for all of them to see, to see you squirt upon the impact of his hand. As you were finally able to pry your eyes open you felt butterflies in the pit of your stomach. The sight of his hands wrapped around your waist holding you close to him as you came completely undone. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he watched you try and conceal your dazed condition.
“Yn? Did Heeseung leave?” Heesung couldn’t help but chuckle as he heard the sound of your brother calling him from the hall.
“Go ahead sweetheart, answer him.” He found it absolutely amusing, the very person you’d always tease and talk about as a kid had been fucking to into your matress making you a complete mess.
“U-um He- had to step o-out for a moment.”
“Did he say where he was going?” You mentally cursed and bit down on your lip to choke back a moan when Heeseungs fingers met your clit.
“A-An errand or something.”
“Errand? O..kay.”
When you finally heard him move away from the door and you weren’t even able to let out a sigh of relief. Your legs shook violently as Heeseung thrusts grew in speed and the low growls that spilled from his mouth made it all more easy for you to unravel right then and there, your cum spilling out onto his cock and he wasnt too far behind as the fucked out look on your face and the way you clenched around him was all he needed for him to spill into you.
Slipping his head into the crook of your neck he sucks harshly, leaving evidence that you were now tainted by him.
“Mmm now you have to go down there and keep him distracted so I can make it look like I left.”
“What? You expect me to go down there after this?”
“You want your brother to know you fucked one of his friends?”
“Fuck i like you better when you just sat in the room and played video games all day.”
#enha#enhypen#enha x reader#enhypen x reader#enha smut#enhypen smut#enha hard thoughts#enha hard hours#enhypen hard thoughts#enhypen hard hours#enhypen oneshots#enha oneshot#enha fanfiction#enhypen fanfiction#heeseung hard hours#enha heeseung#enhypen heeseung#heeseung x reader#heeseung fanfic#heeseung smut#lee heeseung#heeseung#enha fanfic#enhypen fanfic#enha fics#enhypen fics#enha ff#enhypen ff
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The adoption office - a wolfstar microfic
@wolfstarmicrofic - January 19: First Kid - Words 419
Remus had never really believed he was fit to be a father. He had his own health problems to take care of and he didn't have any particular hand with children. But it was important to Sirius and they were both approaching their forties, so he had agreed.
They looked solemnly at each other and stepped inside the adoption office adjacent to St Mungo's to hand in all the paperwork they had filled out. Remus still doubted they would actually let him - a werewolf - adopt anyone, but then he at least could tell Sirius he had tried.
A witch with big curly hair and pink glasses took their papers and smiled warmly.
"We will go through this and get back to you in a couple of weeks. Any questions?"
Remus shook his head, but Sirius started asking about the process and the children. The witch prattled on and Remus found himself studying the paintings and fiddling with the pamphlets on the desk.
"Do you only get children from St Mungo’s?"
"Oh, no, we take cases from the whole country. But we find the location fitting. The access to medical expertise is welcome and there are a number of children that get orphaned here, after all. Abandoned at birth or left behind deceased parents. Last week there was a girl abandoned after being bitten by a werewolf."
"What?!" Remus demanded, now looking intently at the witch.
"Yeah, it's tragic. No one knows for sure, since there hasn't been a full moon yet since she was bitten, but the healers say she's most likely infected."
"Any chance those papers could be done before then? The next full? We want to -"
Remus cut himself short and looked to his side. Sirius was staring at him. Of course he was, Remus was being an idiot. Only because Sirius accepted Remus' condition, what said he'd be willing to have another inconvenience in his hair?
"Sorry", Remus mumbled, "I just thought that would be someone we could really help. I mean... someone who could actually benefit from having... me."
Sirius put a reassuring hand on his lower back and smiled softly.
"Of course, love. It'd be perfect."
The witch flipped through their papers. "I see. I think we can quicken up the process in this case. Expect an owl before the weekend."
Remus chuckled in both relief and anticipation and pulled Sirius close to his side.
The witch winked at them. "And maybe stock up on clothes and things for a four-year-old."
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I hope whoever decided to read Id is enjoying it. I had a random thought for the class: how big is it? Like did only one classroom get Isekaied, or did a whole graduating class get it? Like the Class of 2018 or something? I’m assuming it was a singular class since even towns can have a sizable year for students. That can be a lot of characters to try to create. Not impossible, just a lot of work.
MC: rouge-ish, stealth, wild magic(?), mild immortality?, disguises, Heroes’ Shadow
Prez: leader, commander, fighter, strategist
Tomboy: fighter, pretend damsel in distress
Bully: barbarian, orc in laws
Prepper: ranger-ish, survivalist,
Mama: logistics, underworld connections, torture encouragement
Goth: Outerplane connections (warlock?), craftsmanship (of an undecided sort)
Clown: support, morale, bard, jack of all trades
Football jock: Paladin
Flower girl: potions, poisons, botany
Queen Bee: insect control(unwanted)
Influencer: cult creation(unintentional)
Skater: slacker,
Chess student: Pokémon summons, tactics
Art student: scouting magic
Teen Mom: lore keeper, record holder, divination, domestic support, fairy friend, mother
Baby: cuteness, defend at all costs, morale booster
Rat: size shifting, mascot, food vacuum
I think I got all that right at least. Lemme know if I missed something and I’ll edit the list. That’s 16 characters not counting Baby and Rat so far. Nor any Fantasy Land characters. Theatre and nerd kids were mentioned, and one otaku, but I haven’t seen anything else come up for them. I know I introduced Skater, but not quite sure what to do with him. I had a thought about him becoming a sort of messenger/runner to put his skater skills to work, but also not entirely sold on that.
Do we have a straight mage character decided? I know all the Party have a degree of magical ability, but did someone decide on who would dump all their points into sorcery? I can see Otkau mayhaps going that direction, going all Elder Scrolls/Elden Ring Sorcery would be right up an otakus power fantasy but then again what kind of otaku is Otaku? Does Goth get anything from her Patron other than cell phone service? I wouldn’t mind seeing her become a bit of a cross between Teen Titans Raven and Frieren. From my understanding she’s not a physical type so spells would work for her fine.
Thanks to this post I was granted a couple thoughts regarding a piece of technology that I have tragically overlooked which is a goldmine for comedy and usefulness: Goths Phone and her bargain. Whatever her deal was to get cell service, assuming that she accesses earth’s internet, this also implies that her phone has unlimited battery as well. So the Party calls home first thing they can so they can let everyone know that they’re alright. Then they take turns with it when they’re feeling homesick. They can also use it to get blueprints of various devices and designs, certain details of things like the best metals to prevent infection, search videos explaining certain subjects, use it to video and photograph their adventures, and so on.
I can’t decide what’s funnier: either a) she is now a walking cell tower that the Party uses. (A kinda short one at that, especially compared to how tall Mama is. Are we really sure they’re actually siblings let alone twins? I know that’s what they say but can you blame me? Are we sure their parents didn’t just snatch another baby out of her cradle?) So the Party has the advantage of using their phones to a limited degree, mostly for sending messages to each other since communication is vital in this world. Each person using her as a reference point whether they have service or not. The closer the better of course. Instead of having three bars they say they have ‘three Goths’. Awake she’s most ‘receptive’, asleep less so but you can still get a signal, unconscious/hypnotized/etc. has zero. Or maybe just the tiniest bit so the Party can track her down if necessary.
Or B) her phone is the only one that works and so the Party kinda ‘take turns’ using/stealing/borrowing it for various reasons. To call their families when feeling homesick, reference some history or scientific tidbit for their current situation, take pictures/videos of certain books/places/things/etc, how the football team is doing, check for updates on their favorite fanfiction, etc. They barter and trade for Phone Time creating a sorta sub culture surrounding the Phone. Goth is all dramatic when she doesn’t have her Phone.
I didn’t come up with situation A until I was halfway through writing this.
~
Goth, in the fetal position and murmuring, a dark haze surrounding her: Life is suffering. To deny suffering is to deny existence. And so we are inextricably linked to it.
But why? Her Phone has been borrowed so Influencer can use it to stream. Hence she has been bereft of her phone and now is bored.
Influencer: And with that we’re going to have to start wrapping up this Stream! Thank you for taking the time to teach us about this local board game, Mr. Farmer.
Farmer: Mah pleasure Missy! Anything to help out ta Heroes Party!
Chess: Less heroes and more normal teenagers right now. And thank you for showing me how to play this game! Now if I can just find someone else to play it with.
Farmer, looking at Goth: Ar ya sure that one is alright?
Influencer: Oh she’s fine, she’s just being dramatic. She does this every time.
Farmer: Ah, like a catto ya? One tha didn’t get tha cream?
Chess: Yep! We’re trying to find a pair of cat ears to make a little headpiece for her when she’s like this. Here’s your silver.
Farmer: Silver?! Milord I can’t-
Chess: No lord stuff, we’re just normal people right now. I know we agreed four copper for the board game, but the rest is for taking time out of your day and being so patient with us. Think of it as a thank you gift.
Influencer: Mr. Farmer, do you want to say anything to the people on the other side of this?
Farmer: I just talk to tha little box ere? And they can see me good ya?
Influencer: Yep! Just like we talked about earlier!
Farmer: Ah thanks ya folks fer listen’ to an old man go on about his favorite game. Er, is that good or?
Influencer: All the stuff on the side? Oh that’s the other people talking. They’re all saying thank you for being on this stream. A lot of them seem to be interested in making this game back home and trying it themselves.
Farmer: Ah! You’re all too kind!
Chess: Here, let me walk you back to the village.
Influencer: Be safe Chess! And so what did you all think? An interesting game for a small farming and logging village so far from the road ya? And all handmade too! Kinda makes me wonder how many games our own world used to have like this that have been lost over the generations….I’m going to pretend I didn’t see that HotdogMan. You know the rules, I really don’t want to ban anyone…. Yes we’ll try to bring the game back with us so Earth can play with it as well.
Influencer: Ohhh~ that is so nice of you! However this isn’t a normal stream….Yes I’d love donations just as much as the next gal but in Fantasy Land there is no way to access a Patron- Patron, Patrón, Petrol, Patren. Pttthhh! PATREON! Ugh, what are words? Yeah, we can’t access any of that money. And Fantasy Land doesn’t accept Visa or PayPal either.
Influencer: Well I’d love to stay and chat more but my Time is running out here so we’re going to have to wrap up! As always a great big thanks to Goth and her Patron…..um……Chat I haven’t even started attempting the name and you’re already making fun of me!!😭…..There are like no vowels in its name so of course it’s hard! Ugh, ok here goes. Thank you Ktchre-, no Cacgken- guh, Crushzu- argh…. I know how to pronounce Cthulhu Chat, its name is not Cthulhu. I wouldn’t be made fun of by y’all if its name was that simple….. No PolyPomPoms, it’s an Extraplanar Entity. Gender isn’t a thing with it. No its gender isn’t fluid, either. How do you get even fifty genders in the first place? That doesn’t- The point is it doesn’t have one!… No I don’t know how that works and quite frankly I’m not going to ask.
Influencer: As always: stay safe, be nice, be awesome, and hopefully we’ll be here again next week! Fantasy Land Adventures signing off! Bye~!
After packing up her setup Influencer walks over to Goth.
Goth: -even when the sky is overripe, it withholds its bounty. Thus here we are, bereft of its-
Influencer: 🙄Alright Goth, here’s your phone back.
Goth: Life has returned! The sweet succor of-
Influencer: 😑 And here I thought I was bad. Or that Bee was annoying when she couldn’t get her Java anymore.
Goth: You know, I was thinking…
Influencer: Dear god, please not this again.
Goth: There is a way to do this without all this torment and suffering.
Influencer: 😓Of course it is.
Goth: A path that would benefit both our desires.
Influencer: Don’t say it Goth, don’t you dare say it.
Goth: You could-
Influencer: I’m warning you!
Goth: -make a pact with my Patron.
Influencer: AAAARRRRGGGG!! We’ve been over this a gazillion times! No!
Goth: It’s excited to talk to you! It wants to help! I’m sure it can give you a wonderful deal! Probably better than what I got…
Influencer: It -wants- to make me its Chief Cult Leader! It -wants- me to convert everyone into its cult! Just like every one and thing else around here! I got enough problems fending off every blasted religion, cult, government, and organization out there, don’t you start harping on me too!
Goth: Cmon, what’s a half dozen cults?
Influencer: I’m still not over that little ‘celebration’ in that one town. I can only imagine how bad it could’ve been if Clown didn’t help me reword myself to make it just a drunken celebration instead of something worse. Remember I almost got that one Holy Order nearly come down on our heads for that? I am not starting up anything else if I can help it.
Goth: Don’t act like you’re special there, we all have nearly run afoul with many such groups. Remember when Prep killed that one holy animal thinking it was just a random Fantasy Land critter? Or when Football flirted with the wrong Lady in Waiting? Also you don’t seem to mind the Base.
Influencer: Because they tried to sacrifice me, so I had no choice! Thank goodness MC ungagged me there. Base is reasonable only because Mama and Prez got things under control! I can’t handle that kinda pressure.
Football: Here you two are. Where’s Chess?
Goth: He’s walking that farmer back to his village.
Football: Hm. Prez wants everyone in the Command Tent. We’re due for another Meeting.
Influencer: So soon? I thought we were going to have that Tuesday?
Football: That was the case, but since it’s Prez I’m sure there’s a good reason for it.
Goth: Alright then, let’s go. Hey Influencer, just think about-
Influencer: We are done talking about this!!
Football: Er, what did I miss?
Goth and Influencer: It’s nothing.
Football: Right. ‘It’S nOtHiNg!’ Geh, women.
The standard 'entire class gets isekai'd to a fantasy world and the outcast MC is basically discarded' anime setting, where the MC, now assumed dead, decides to instead help the class of Heroes in the shadows, making sure they live up to what the people need.
However, the entire class knows that he's alive and are hellbent on dragging that son of a bitch back into the spotlight and to give him the recognition he deserves.
(And maybe because he was basically the entire class's Little Guy™.)
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I saw a post some time ago (wish so much that I had reposted it then) that said something along the line of this:
"If you're going to make Bruce out to be a bad father and how all his wrongs, then you can't have Alfred being the greatest person in the world. That you must expose him as well."
Paraphrasing, of course, but it was essentially the post. And then it goes on to point out many of Alfred's flaws and actions he's done repeatedly that bathe him in a less than saintly light. We all give the man a pass, no war in Ba Sing Se, but I feel like we need to judge everyone.
So I say it with my chest, Bruce Wayne was a bad father. Terrible even. Stuck between mentor and father figure he didn't even want to be. Just like Alfred, but worse in a way. He fucked those kids up. And I don't care how DC writes him, I will never forgive him. And sure, I will see some media of "good dad Bruce" and I smile and like it, but still. I know in my heart, this is a terrible father. Is he a bad person? Probably not. Is he doing his best? Probably. But if that's his best, I'd hate to see his worst.
And Alfred. Stuck between butler and guardian. He fed into Bruce's delusions and self destruction, until it might cost Bruce his life, then Alfred would step in. After all, if the master was dead he'd be out of a job. And everything else he has done, too much to name. But the unforgivable one being what he put of Jason's head stone.
Clark doesn't get a pass either. Bouncing blue boy scout, count your fucking days. He sees life in black and white, thinking that because Conner was made by the "bad guy" he must be bad. Even after everyone finally "accepted him" he STILL felt alienated and it was because of Clark. No amount of back pedaling will get me to overlook that. For a man that sees everything as a definite right and wrong, he makes a lot of wrong choices when it comes to his children.
And Oliver. I hate you. Death by firing squad at sunset. I will take care of Roy, better than you ever could.
This was a DC parent hate post brought to you by blurred morals and my own hate for my parental figures
#nothing in this post is to be taken seriously#timothy drake#jason todd#dick grayson#batfamily#damian wayne#tim drake#bruce wayne#richard grayson#dc comics#damain al ghul#superfam#conner kent#conner luthor#oliver queen#roy harper#arrow#i haven't even read all the comics yet#my rambling is stupid and meaningless#dont get so heated about it
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rhiannon lewis finds out that reader is pregnant and gets super duper protective and ends up killing someone that gets wayyy to close to reader?
─ pregnant!reader & rhiannon.
i kind of changed the plot a little, i hope you don’t mind anon! <3 (otherwise i can always write some more for you!!)
when you first tell rhiannon you’re pregnant, she promises to be better…
…for you, for the baby, for the future you’re building together. “no more losing my temper. no more…you know,” she promises, her hand over yours. “it’s not just me anymore. i get that!”
and she’s true to her word-at first: rhiannon keeps her head down, biting her tongue even when someone at work is being condescending or some random guy brushes too close to you in public. you can tell it’s hard for her, but she’s genuinely trying. “for you and the baby,” she murmurs, giving you a tight smile whenever she reins herself in.
but rhiannon never quite loses those extremely protective instincts of hers. they only worsen over the course of your pregnancy.
one day, she overhears a coworker talking about your pregnancy in a way that immediately sets her on edge: it starts innocently enough, but then they mutter something under their breath, something dismissive like: ‘i don’t know how they’re going to handle a kid. people like them never do’
the sheer audacity of someone questioning your ability to be a good parent makes her blood boil. rhiannon grips the edge of her desk, trying to stay calm, but her hands are trembling. “you don’t get to decide what she’s ready for,” she snaps. the coworker turns, startled, but she’s already stepping closer. “she’s going to be the best mom, better than anyone you know! so don’t- don’t talk like you know anything about her!”
the coworker tries to brush past her, muttering, “whatever, psycho.” under his breath.
that night, rhiannon comes home late.
she tries to slip into the bathroom unnoticed, but you catch her: she’s still breathing heavily and there’s blood on her shirt. someone else’s, you realize, not hers. “rhiannon,” you say, your voice thick with worry. even though you can already imagine at this rate, you ask: “what happened?”
“i didn’t mean for it to happen,” she says the moment she sees you, her voice breaking. “i swear, i tried to walk away. i was doing so good, wasn’t i? but they-“ rhiannon cuts herself off, swallowing hard. “they were saying awful things about you and the baby, and i couldn’t…i couldn’t just let it go!”
you gently take her hands, inspecting the bruises, and she winces under your touch. “rhiannon, what did you do?” “they said you couldn’t do this! that you wouldn’t be a good mom,” she whispers. “i couldn’t let them get away with it, and-” rhiannon looks down, ashamed. “i know i promised. i know i said i’d stop…”
honestly, you’re torn between frustration and understanding. you hate that she let herself lose control, but a part of you is touched by just how determined rhiannon defends you. “rhee, you can’t keep doing this,” you mumble, gently cupping her face. “not for me, not for the baby. we need you here. do you understand that?”
she nods, clutching your hand like it’s the only thing grounding her. “i’m sorry,” she whispers, her voice cracking. “i’ll fix it. i’ll fix everything!”
— nsfw below the cut. mdni.
alternatively: rhiannon who instantly begs for your forgiveness.
she drops to her knees in front of you as she grabs for your hands. “i’ll do better,” she pleads, pressing the side of her face to your stomach. “please. i’ll do better, i’ll do better, i’ll do better”
you can see how much she’s struggling with this, how scared she is of losing you, and it does soften your heart.
but it also gives you a fluttering sensation that shoots through your abdomen as rhiannon presses kisses to your hands, all the way up your wrists, murmuring ‘i can be good’ over and over again. “i’ll be so good for you. please let me prove it.”
“rhee,” you manage to whisper, but whatever you were about to say vanishes when she presses another kiss to your palm, then nuzzles her face into it. blame the pregnancy hormones. either way, she doesn’t have to chance to wash off before you fall into bed together, the incident momentarily forgotten.
her apologies spill from her lips as she undresses you, her hands tracing patterns over your skin. “i’m sorry,” she husks. “for everything. for scaring you. i’m so sorry, baby.”
you cup her face, trying to silence her, but she presses kisses to every inch of you: your hands, the curve of your shoulder, the swell of your belly…when her mouth finally finds its way lower, your breath catches and you grab the bedsheets tightly.
rhiannon has never been like this before, so unguarded and openly apologetic, muttering soft sorries to every inch of your skin she touches.
that night, for reasons beyond you, she makes you cum harder than you ever have before, muttering apologies even with her tongue inside you.
when rhiannon puts her mouth on you, her hands leave bloody prints on either side of your stomach. the sight sends a thrill to you. a thrill you’re surprised to find you enjoy. this would normally be rhiannon’s thing, but oh well!!
she notices the way your breathing changes and glances up at you, past the bump to meet your eyes. “you okay?”
you nod, biting your lip. “don’t stop,”
when you’re both tangled together in the sheets afterwards, rhiannon holds you close, running a hand through your hair as she whispers, “i’ll be good. i’ll be the woman you need me to be.”
you snuggle against her, your head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat. “i know,” you reply softly, pressing a kiss to her skin. “i know, rhiannon.”
#rhiannon lewis ღ#˙🔞 ̟ !! mdni#rhiannon lewis x reader#rhiannon lewis x female reader#rhiannon lewis x you#sweetpea
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More Little Villains!
MQF: So Shen-shixiong and Shang-shixiong ran into a pile of plants. Two of which you have identified as Parents Longing Blossom and Baren Soul Lotus, correct?
SQQ agrees while SQH is staring up at the ceiling dead eyed, two slumbering children tucked against him. (The trip back to the sect was... A thing SQH doesn't want to recall right now. The kids are definitely some versions of the ogs, though. Of that he's sure on now.)
MQF: *hums before directing SQQ over to be examined first, fully aware that getting the other three will take some time so first handle the one not buried* Did either of you recall any reactions or symptoms of any sort?
SQQ: *remembers falling onto SQH and feeling something in his gut at the fact his friend was under him groaning and whining softly, then the tingly feeling going down his neck and through his spine and arms, before seeing the growing red and black marks appearing on Airplane's neck and pulling the man out of the plants only to notice that he had the same marks on his arms* /gives description of events while not admitting to having a similar feeling in his gut only days ago when he ended up falling on top of SQH while they were goofing around/
MQF: I see. And were there any further reactions after you both got out? *Checks arms and gently prods spirit veins to check on the WOC)
SQQ: *winces at the memory of SQH coughing up green and blue goop, leaking black from his eyes, and the screams of pain and terror as the man clawed at his neck, arms, and his thighs. And the agony of white and green goo coming out of his own arms* Yes ../goes into extreme detail because he knows Airplane won't and he is rightfully worried about his friend/
Shen Jiu: *just woke up and is listening, bleary-eyed and tired he pokes Shang Si awake (SQH fell into a doze, he's so tired) and gets him to listen in as well*
Shang Si: *grumpy at being woken up, listens to SQQ describing the what is basically their rebirth into this world, rolls his eyes and curls back onto Mama's chest*
Shen Jiu: *scowls, turns his attention to Mu-shidi talking with the strange entity in his old body, is not happy with this but Shang-shidi has a plan, now if only the brat was awake to help him put it into action*
SQH: *unconsciously pulls children closer*
Shen Jiu: *still in the body of a 13month old, is starting to feel hungry, has been harassing Shang-shidi's cosmic entity the whole time back to the sect and isn't going to stop now, especially when the reactions are well worth the humiliation he suffers* Mama. *Pulls at robes* Mama, milk.
SQH: *dragged from his doze, and is so very tired of this insistence for milk he doesn't have* A-Jiu.. Mama doesn't have milk. Shidi could you please send a disciple for some? I fear of being assaulted and sucked on for non-existent milk here.
SQQ: *quietly* They have tried already at least once per child. Thankfully they are old enough for soft food so we had fed them, even though they were insistent on trying to breastfeed.
MQF: *wants to laugh, very much not laughing because he's a professional and Shang-shixiong's scary when tired and just done with the world* Of course. Shang-shixiong, do you have a wrist I can see?
SQH: *shuffling kids, tries to hand one over to SQQ* Bro. Shixiong. Tears or no tears, please.
SQQ: *takes Shen Jiu, because while he is willing to help he is not dealing with a screaming Shang Si, who'll not be happy with waking up away from Mama, if he can help it* A-Jiu, you'll be good and let Mu-shidi look over Mama without a fuss, right?
Shen Jiu: *hungry, not pleased with being in the arms of a man even if it's his old body, knows Mu-shidi has dealt with worse than screaming children, promptly starts grumbling and fussing*
SQQ: *knowing where this is going and one crying kid is better than both so he's making his way to the door* We're going to be just outside if you need us shidi.
MQF: *back from sending a disciple for milk and a few other things* Certainly, shixiong.
SQH: *exhausted and wants this over with* Not moving Xiao Si unless you want a second screaming child.
MQF: That's fine Shixiong. *Pokes and prods around sleeping baby* So, A-Jiu and Xiao Si?
SQH: *fully aware of the layers to that question* They respond to our given names and nothing else really. But calling someone Xiao Jiu feels weird when "Xiao Jiu" is standing next to me. And I don't know how to feel about someone calling a child who looks like but isn't me "A-Si".
MQF: Understandable. Now, tell me what happened. *Fully aware of he going to have to pull answers out, given that the man is exhausted and an exhausted SQH is a petty petty man*
SQH: *grumbles but starts talking*
{To be continued ~(^-^)~}
#story writing#svsss#shang qinghua#og shang qinghua#shen yuan#shen jiu#shen qingqiu#mu qingfang#Little Villains
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Omg the chicken thing reminds me of when I was a kid, living out in some middle of nowhere Arkansas country town.
Basically, my Elementary school decided it would be a good idea to hatch chickens as a class project to learn about the stages of development for a chicken embryo. You know, for science. So they brought in maybe 20 or so eggs and an incubator, and we documented each stage of setting it up, and what was going on inside the eggs on each day, etc.
When the eggs finally all hatched- something we watched very excitedly, a bunch of 3rd graders, all huddled around this incubator- they sent out papers asking for parents to sign so they could bring home the chickens to live on their farms and the land they already owned. Since it was a middle of the nowhere Arkansas country town, and so many of the kids in my school owned a farm.
Anyways- of course 9 year old me wanted to be a part of this, and I begged my mom to sign the paper so I could bring home one of the chickens I had so lovingly helped to raise.
My aunt was moving out of our shared house at that time. (my mom, brother, grandparents, uncle, aunt and her bf, as well as two of my cousins were all living together in this giant, eternally work in progress house that by grandfather had been building his entire life. The walls were eternally plagued by aggressive wasps and flying squirrels, so that was fun.) My aunt was the one who had taken care of all the animals on our property, so she left us instructions on how to take care the chick, as well as a heat lamp and feeder, etc. And she soon left, taking all her animals with her.
Anyways, me and my mom got the chick, and took care of it. It was very sad and lonely though for the first couple of days (my aunt sent over one of her own chicks to be constant companionship for it quickly, since chickens aren’t supposed to be alone. This definitely helped, and it stopped screaming loudly every time I left its sight for 20 seconds.) After a while, it grew enough to leave the pen in our room and go outside. I was able to bring it out every day, and it would follow me around. I even started trying to teach it, showing it how to dig for bugs in the grass, and pretending to peck at the ground, which it did eventually learn to do.
Eventually, my mom decided to just send it to live with my aunt and the rest of her birds, because this was very overly complicated for no reason and it was pooping everywhere. I would go and visit it sometimes still though, as my aunt lived close. Also I named it Butter, because it was yellow. There isn’t really a moral to this story, but it’s definitely something that happened, and now I have it archived in great detail on the internet forever so… hey random person if you’re reading this lol, I hope it was atleast mildly entertaining.
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