#I know it's kind of funny that I'm like 'I'm much better now that I'm taking ketamine' and then the next day I post something like this

[mega-wonsz-rzeczny-9]

I am. So normal. About act 5. Totally! (Lies)

This post will be very personal. I'm not that familiar with Tumblr so idk if anyone will see this, but just in case they do: I'll read every comment, so please be kind. This fandom is probably the least toxic fandom I've ever been a part of, but I'm afraid this post may contain some Mirabelle slander. I like her as a character, but she's far from my favorite, for reasons I'll explain below.

I'll be honest: Mirabelle always seemed a bit... annoying to me. Not in a "I hate this character, get off my screen" way, but rather in a "can she stop being anxious for 1 blinding second?" way, which is self projection from me, because I am also very anxious when interacting with other people. I relate to that part of her character, and I felt bad seeing how many times the others have to reassure her, so I projected my annoyance with myself onto Siffrin and the others. I like her as a character, but she reminds me of the part of myself that I'm ashamed of, which is why I don't love her.

When she reacted the way she did in act 5, I was honestly mad at her. How dare she say that to Siffrin, who's clearly not okay? How dare she slap them and declare that they we're never friends? How dare she keep the right to be mad later in act 6, knowing that Siffrin did it all because he was looping in time?! I don't think I'm fully over it.

But I think it's also self projection. I'm mad at myself for not being over some things. For not being able to forgive more easily. I'm just better at hiding how much some things hurt me. I hide my anxiety as much as I can, and agonize about it when I'm alone. I'm mad she's not as bad at communicating her own feelings as I am, which is very funny considering ISAT's main message is that communicating your feelings is imperative.

And then I come across a post like this - a post which praises her as a character exactly for the only interaction with her that genuinely made me mad at her for a while. And I read it. And I agree. And I realize just how much of this I could apply to my own life. I have the right to be mad about things that hurt me, no matter why they happened. It doesn't matter why the people who hurt me did it, I still deserve to be mad at them over it. Does that mean I have to retroactively decide we were never really close? No, but it's reasonable for me to decide that their actions change our relationship, even if they didn't intend to do it.

I think it's very neat how fandom discourse can redefine how I see a character, and in turn how I see myself. I was still mad at her when I finished the game. I'm mostly over it now, even though I still don't love when she's the main focus of fanfiction I read, (excluding some fics), because it's difficult for me to not find her annoying again.

Writing this post felt very cathartic.

This blog is pretty much just a journal where I make notes to myself, so I'm posting this even though I don't think it's perfect. Maybe I'll decide to edit it in the future? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

party pov of the Siffrinless run through the House during the Loop hangout has a hold on me rn…

i spoke broadly about it in this post but each of them would have much more personal conflicts and thoughts about Siffrin just…..disappearing without a word on the day of the final battle.

i was gonna talk about all of them in one post but i kept having more to say about Mirabelle. and i don’t talk about Mirabelle in depth as much as she deserves. so!

Party POV of Loop Hangout Day - MIRABELLE EDITION

we don’t see the clocktower interaction play out after Siffrin agrees to hang out with Loop, but there’s no reason to believe it goes much differently than usual without the friendquests changing things. which means this probably happens

We’ll stay with you, Mira. Siffrin says it every time this conversation happens.

Mirabelle offers them all a final opportunity to back out. she’s felt guilty, this entire time, dragging everyone along with her on a quest that feels doomed to fail, and that more than half of the party shouldn’t even really be involved with—a child, and two travelers risking their lives for a country that isn’t theirs, just because they had the misfortune to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

they should be allowed to leave. she may not have a choice, but the rest of them do. so she tries to offer them this escape, even though the thought of what’s ahead fills her with dread, even if she’s terrified she was the wrong choice for something this important and may not be able to protect them, or even succeed at all. and it’s such a relief and a comfort that they all choose to stay anyway, and she doesn’t have to face the House alone. she has support, company, friends to rely on. people who believe in her even when she doesn’t believe in herself.

except when they wake up the next morning, Siffrin is nowhere to be found. not in the clocktower, not in the town. how long do they search? how long does it take them to decide this must be his real answer to the question Mirabelle posed the night before?

Mirabelle takes Siffrin’s act 5 behavior…very personally. in her hurt and anger, she decides that if nothing’s wrong, if he thought it was okay to say something like that in that moment, they must have always been a worse person than she thought they were. she was always uncertain of his motives, his attitude. she reassures herself that their teasing is friendly, like it’s something she has to convince herself is true.

but some part of her really did believe that he saw himself as better than the rest of them—even if she never treated them with anything other than kindness! she didn’t let her uncertainty or anxiety get in the way of treating him with warmth, ignoring the potential bad-faith explanations of his behavior and trusting that they had better intentions than her fears would lead her to believe…until she had evidence that, just maybe, those fears weren’t so unfounded.

the Housemaiden in the Prologue even says that she thought they were mean, at first. uncaring. an impression that didn’t turn around until Siffrin got hurt protecting Bonnie. maybe it’s cheating a little bit to bring Prologue dialogue into an ISAT discussion since they’re not perfectly identical timelines, but i think it lines up with ISAT Mirabelle thinking Siffrin saw themself as “better” than her.

Prologue:

ISAT:

she applies this judgement not just in the moment, but retroactively. whatever goodwill and trust she had read into their behavior before, it’s gone. the person she reassured herself that he was would never do something like this, so she must have failed to understand him entirely, from the very beginning.

there’s no confrontation, in the Hangout loop. just a silent disappearance. they have no context or explanation for what happens. no heightened emotions from the immediacy of insults and anger thrown in their faces. but whatever emotions bubble up have time to simmer.

i can imagine Mirabelle’s thought process might be quite similar to how it is in Act 5.

something must be wrong, for them to act like this. to disappear without a word after promising everyone that they’d stay.

but if nothing’s wrong…she must have been wrong about them. he isn’t the person she thought he was. how could they leave now, after what they already sacrificed defending Bonnie? or was it because of what he lost defending them—that he had given all he was willing to give, and no more?

did they finally decide Mirabelle wasn’t a person worth believing in anymore? that her mission wasn’t important enough to waste his life in its pursuit? that someone like them shouldn’t bother following someone as weak as her?

she gave them the option to leave. she feels guilty that it hurts so much that he took it. angry and betrayed that he would lie to their faces and leave without a goodbye, when for all they know they’ll never see each other again. did they all really matter so little to him?

or was he scared, and unable to face them out of shame? can she really blame them for that, knowing her own terror at what entering the House will bring? maybe he’s just as scared as she is, even if he never shows it like she does. it’s their choice. he has no responsibility here, no obligation to stay and put himself in danger for their sakes. she offered them this. she offered them this. they’re allowed to change their mind. what right does she have to be angry? she would have understood if they’d just!! said something!!! it would have hurt, still, but, but—

did she ever really understand them at all, if she couldn’t see this coming?

[dark-lord-of-awesomeness]

Realized as this is my first mermay, I should write something about it.

Anyway.

(Takes place post reveal pre collar)

Stop laughing Stan meowed from the sink, glaring at where the Fords and Carla were hunched over the table, hands over their mouths, it's not funny.

The laughter got louder, and Stan glowered at them. They'd been giggling and trying to take not so subtle pictures for ten minutes now, instead of focusing on the problem at hand.

Which was Stan, and his lack of both hands and now back legs. Because how was he supposed to know the funky bracelet Ford had been messing with was some kind of mystic aquatic enchanted artifact, that 'gifted' anyone who touched it with 'sea legs', and how was he supposed to know those sea legs were in the form of a tail and the ability to breath under water.

And how was he supposed to know it'd affect his cat self, making it so when he'd nabbed the shiny thing on his brothers desk, Ford had rushed in to Stan's yowling as he flopped around with his brand new fuzzy seal tail. Ford had been very panicked as he snatched Stan from the ground and bolted to the kitchen, emptied the sink, plugged it, then stuck Stan under the faucet until he realized Stan was still very much still breathing, much like seals do on land.

Only once Stan was hissing and soaking wet did Ford burst into laughter, squishing his chubby new addition and cooing at all his speckled patterns.

Ford! Stan hissed, stretching out a paw and waving it at Ford, fix it!

All that got was more laughter, as the wet fur of his front leg stuck to his skin and dripped everywhere. All his fur was soaked from his impromptu shower and now half bath, making him look half the size he usually did and probably twice as pathetic.

"I'm sorry Stanley," Ford gasped, refusing to look at him, "give me a moment, I just-"

Ford turned, they made eye contact, and his brother started wheezing. He smashed his head onto the table and started pounding it as his body shook. This set the other two off, and now all three of them were red faced and barely breathing.

Stan hissed at them, until Ford eventually managed to drag himself to a nearby drawer and grabbed a large dish towel. Stan hissed again as he got closer and unplugged the sink, then again when Ford scooped him up and started rubbing him dry.

The other two kept laughing and taking photos, ignoring his disdainful looks.

"There, much better," Ford said, grabbing another towel to hold Stan with, then walking back to the table, "now you look less..."

"Miserable?" Carla suggested, smirking as Stan was set down on the table on top of the towel.

"Bug eyed?" Said Fiddleford, reaching over to poke at Stan's new blubbery addition. Stan swiped at him, then tried to curl up and sit in the towel.

It was very difficult without his back legs.

"I was thinking maybe more along the lines of shrunk." Ford said, reaching over to help Stan get settled and squishing the tail as he went, "I forgot how much of his volume is fluff."

I'll make you fluff, Stan grumbled, now fix it.

"I wonder how he'd swim like this," Carla said reaching over to poke Stan's tail. Stan glared at her, but she ignored him, pushing her finger in and out of the blubber, "like, his paws are still the same, does he doggy paddle with the tail?"

Stan glared harder as they all looked at him, then swatted at Fords inching hand.

"A mystery for another day," Ford said, nursing his fingers, "for now I need to figure out how to undo the enchantment."

"Can't you belt out your, you know." Fiddleford gestured at Stan with a raised brow, and both turned to face Ford as he hummed and shook his head.

"Unfortunately no. That's for curses, this is an enchantment. If I uncursed Stanley right now he'd just be a mermaid, and then he'd really need the sink. Best to leave him as is until I finish examining the braclet. And with that!"

Stan hissed as his brother scooped him up, one hand supporting his weight and the other coming down to make sure Stan wouldn't roll out. Conveniently by placing his other hand right on Stan's squishy seal tail and pressing his hand into it.

I know what you're doing, Stan meowed, giving him the stink eye and pawing at his hand. Ford pretended not to notice, pivoting and striding out of the kitchen back towards the study.

"I'll have to take some readings," Ford said, still squishing his tail and scratching it a little, "to see what we're working with. It might wear off on its own, or there might be a something your required to do before you can change back."

Stan grunted, then let out a mrrp as Ford set him on the desk and chuckled at his bounce. Stan swiped at him, then hissed when Ford pressed his hand into it again.

"Sorry Stanley," Ford said, reaching over to pick the bracelet off the floor with a pen and setting it on the desk, "it's just very satisfying. Actually..."

Stan raised an eyebrow as Ford turned to see if Carla or Fiddleford had followed him, then quickly pulled Stan closer and shoved his fave into Stan's tail.

Really? Stan mrrped as Ford brought his arms around him and hugged him close, it's fish fat Ford. It's not that great.

Despite that, Stan shot a look at the door before shoving his head into the crook of Fords neck and purring. Ford giggled into him, and he realized it was because Stan's blubbery seal tail was jiggling.

Stan smacked him in the back of the head, getting nothing but a heartier chuckle out of his brother, before Ford turned his face and smiled at him.

Stan purred harder, eyes starting to close, when Carla burst in with the camera, and Stan was abruptly shoved across the desk and started rolling off it. Ford lunged to catch him, and they both flinched as the camera went off.

"Yeah," Carla said, smirking at them as she backed away, "I figured you two were doing something cuddly back here."

And then she was gone, ignoring their cries of denial.

[mi-co-uk]

empty pages

─── expired reader has been told she's dying. but how much does it matter if she wanted to anyway? best friend matt is heartbroken to be losing the girl he never shared his feelings for - until now.

expired reader x matt

a/n NOT PROOFREAD IM LAZYY

warnings: mentions of sickness and treatment plans, consistent theme of death and dying aswell as suicidal thoughts. also matt is so cutie i need him to confess his love for reader NOW (i literally control when it happens 😐) vague mentions of panic attacks and nightmares. SERIES ITSELF will contain angst fluff and smut <3

wc: 1.5k

PART TWO

the creak of the swingset created a combination of annoyance and comfort. it echoed your childhood in a sense, the hours spent swinging (not too high) back and forth due to being far too scared of the slide.

you peered over at it - now having grown almost to the height of it, you didn't understand what you had been so afraid of.

the playground equipment was all rusted over, not even used by the kids who lived nearby. it wasn't the centre for making friends as it use to be. regardless, it still held the memory of where you met matt.

he hadn't been scared of the slide - he just couldn't get a turn. his rowdy brothers hogged it relentlessly, matt found their game funny initially but he grew tired of waiting for them to see him waiting.

the girl on the swing next to you was swaying obnoxiously, yelling to her mum about how high she was swinging on her own. you didn't understand how she was doing it physically, aswell as without fear.

"can I push?" after standing beside the poles that dug the swingset into the ground, he'd mustered to the courage to ask you a question. he felt kind of sorry for you, on your own in a park full of people.

he started off overly gentle, as if sensing your fear or being afraid to push you off it entirely.

it wasn't much but it was more than you could manage on your own. you also found yourself a little less scared.

you're on the same swing now - terrified, but for a different reason. now you were scared of dying - not from swaying too high on a swingset or falling from the well known dramatic height of a slide, but from your own body giving up on itself.

what hadn't changed was that you always had known that there wasn't much life in you.

the position of the swingset allows you to see over the horizon, admiring the pinkish tints of the clouds as you await matts return. you hear his scuffling behind you, his footsteps snapping the small branches laying across the floor. hear stands in front of you handing you a small pot of ice cream, a wide grin on his face as he giggles to himself. you smile in response, his laughter infectious as he sets himself on the swingset to your left.

"why are you laughing?" you can't help but continue giggling, his optimism always seemingly amplified around you.

his giggles heighten in response, "I dont know, I'm just excited"

"for the ice cream"

he giggles and nods in response. you chuckle and shake your head, licking the ice cream off your spoon. the laughter settles down, silently enjoying each other's company as you watch the sunset and savour your ice cream.

you've always been somewhat jealous of matt. despite his struggles with anxiousness and his unsurety in himself that have debilitated him a lot in life, he's always managed to make the most of himself. he's not entirely confident, but he manages. his life gets stressful, but he manages. it's an attribute you somewhat wish you had.

sometimes you wanna be better. you want to be happy and actually live for once but a life like that is so inconsistent. no one can ever be constantly joyful and living the life they want. you want something secure and death is the most assured thing there is.

matt notices the drop of your emotions much lower than before, nudging your knee with his. you look up to his comforting smile and sympathetic eyes. trust you to find a way to bring down the mood already.

"you okay?" matts first to break the silence, taking the final mouthful of ice cream and setting the tub down by the side of the swingset.

you mumble a 'yeah', obviously not filling matt with confidence that it's a genuine response.

"what u thinkin'?" he persists.

you hesitate before bringing it up. you wanted to avoid it but it's gonna come up eventually.

"I um, I had a call."

"yeah? with who?" matts eyes a fixed in your direction despite your bodies refusal to hold eye contact.

"the hospital."

short answers are less anxiety inducing. but they definitely also prolong the length of torture. matt stays silent, giving you the space to speak at your own pace.

"about treatments. well- a-an appointment to talk about them." you finally look back up to matt, unsure of whether to continue.

"when's that? I'll come with you."

"um. yesterday" you voice falters towards the end, becoming a mumble in lack of confidence.

matts eyebrows scrunch in vague confusion. "I didn't go." you confirm matts suspicions.

you were thoroughly aware that the consequences of bringing that up to matt before the appointment would result you in actually going. hence the fact you didn't mention it.

matts head is swarming with conflicting emotions. he doesn't want to push you into something but he also has an obvious overwhelming desperation to keep you around. and a way to do that is with your treatment.

"you don't want treatment?" matt finally responds.

you can only shake your head.

you finally stop moving around the remainder of your ice cream and set the pot down, gaining grip on the chain attached to your swing. you plant your feet more firmly on the ground, allowing you to look directly away from matt and his pity.

"I'm tired of being sick, matt. treatment might not even work. 'm not sure if it's worth it." you're not sure if you're worth it.

"but it also might work." matt tried desperately to maintain his outward calm. "you could try it."

"I dont wanna try it, matt, I don't even want it to work."

though he isn't the one dying, matt felt his life drain further from his body. every fibre of him wanted to convince you that you were wrong. he almost wanted to confess all his feelings in the hope it would give you the motivation to try - to live for him.

"I dont wanna go through all that just be depressed still by the end of it. I don't wanna keep being someone for everyone to worry about. I don't wanna people to think I wanted to try living because then it's as if I never suffered at all." the words spill out before you evaluate the weight of them. you're not trying to dump it onto matt you just need him to understand. "I'm not trying to make you pity me, matt I just-"

"I dont get to pity you, don't you get that? none of us do."

his gaze on you feels much heavier, less focused on being cautious of every word out his mouth.

"we don't get to pity you because we all know you want this."

"what, you sit around with everyone talking about how I'm a suicidal fuck up?" you accuse, tone of voice almost repulsed.

"of course not! we just know you're in pain! you always have been, mentally and now physically. I fucking hate it but there's obviously positives in it for you and it's undeniable. treatment might keep you alive but you said yourself it doesn't change your mental state and I've researched and it won't even end your pain, you just won't die."

he pauses, tears building at the brim of his eyes.

"I'm with you all the time. I see you panic attack after panic attack, nightmare after nightmare aswell as dealing with the pain attacks over and over, night after night. it's not fair on you to have to live like that. in fact I feel selfish because I want you alive despite that. I'd be there for you with that same pain cycle if it meant you were still around."

unknowingly, the tears have fallen from your own eyes, matt blinks his own away as he removes his gaze on you. youre at a loss for words. you'd neglected observing how other people were dealing with the situation - not completely but enough to have missed that others could see your death the way you see it. it was only a matter of time before yours and matts dynamic switched. you pitied him, it was an obviously complicated situation with no right response or perspective.

you reach your hand over to matts, he looks at your expression and makes a mental note of the pity in your eyes. he secures the grip of his hand in yours, fingers entwined with one another's. your hands hung inbetween the two swings.

"doesn't mean you can pity me either" matt forces a small smile, trying to lighten up the mood. he hadn't intended to let it all slip but he didn't entirely regret it either.

"'m sorry" you whisper and offer the same small smile back at him.

he chuckles a bit, "'s alright. why couldn't you be an asshole? then i wouldnt care this much." he leans his head against the chain of the swing closest to your own.

"I'm not?" you giggle.

"course not. you're you."

────୨ৎ────

NAVIGATION

AU MASTERLIST

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[remidyal]

Game Changer Episodes (through 7.3) ranked favorite to least favorite

We're going to try to be BRIEF with this, because there's a ton of these.

5.9 Escape the Greenroom

The perfect episode, up to and including that there's a real chance at points that the players might physically assault Sam.

6.6 Deja Vu

I love time loop premises and analog horror and this combines them to great effect.

6.7 Beat the Buzzer

The best of the Seven reunion episodes to me, wildly creative work by the art team.

6.3 Sam Says 3

I'm penalizing game samers some in these rankings and this still is the top of this set. Presumably the last Sam Says ever since escalation here enters criminal territory.

4.1 Sam Says

It's just such a great premise because it's so simple and people know the tricks to watch for and they still fall for it.

7.1 One Year Later

Utterly deranged and also a sign that we're getting insanely longer as the seasons go along. This list is rough on the early seasons in part because early season episodes might go 15-20 minutes and now we're regularly getting 40+ but this one is above and beyond.

5.1 Sam Says 2

Being the weakest installment of Sam Says for me is still being an absolutely incredible episode.

5.4 Name a Number

This one may actually be hurt a little bit for me by the physical pain of the 'I'm Hungy' call, but it's still incredible top to bottom.

1.1 Lie Detector

The first episode of the series and also still genuinely incredible; the cast absolutely being willing to go full out here helps set the tone for the entire series to come.

6.1 Second Place

My personal favorite of the fuck with Brennan episodes, in part because Sam genuinely seems to not have realized how much it would.

1.4 Whodunnit

A rare 'fuck with a specific person' episode not targeted at Brennan or Grant, and just deeply funny. One of the episodes I used to use to hook people on the show, because it's on youtube free.

3.7 Jeopardy!

A WEIRD episode from the Zoom Season that I profoundly love.

6.5 Bingo

Another entry in the pantheon of fucking with Brennan, made extra hilarious because he wasn't even supposed to be in it.

2.2 Do I Hear $1?

To some degree kind of a follow up to Total Forgiveness, it remains incredible how far Ally and Grant are willing to go.

2.6 Yes or No

A lot of people would probably have this higher, but the rant aside I do like the episodes where fucking with Brennan is a side effect of the game more than just it being the point.

4.8 Race to the Bottom

Katie coming in to scab was basically perfect for making the game re-work after the unionization.

1.2 Make Some Noise

Honestly a legacy ranking; it's fun and obviously spawned a whole lot of great stuff but the prompts are incredibly basic next to what was to come.

2.4 A Sponsored Episode

Sam has openly stated that the where you from? joke out of this is the thing that has haunted him the most on dropout stuff, but it's a really fun episode even apart from that.

7.2 You-lympics

Hard to tell recency bias on ones from this season, could slide on a rewatch but I did pretty thoroughly enjoy it.

5.6 As A Cucumber

I enjoy the premise overall but heart rate monitor stuff is always a little wonky for me.

3.1 Tell Us About Yourself

One of my favorite 'try to figure out the rules here' episodes, helped by my enjoyment of the idea that Tony Hawk just hangs out in robes in a dank basement somewhere.

4.2 Noise Boys

Again, penalizing Game Samers to some degree, but this is probably the best of the Make Some Noise episodes on Game Changer before it got spun off if you're watching it without that in mind. That said, there's likely ten episodes in the most recent season of Make Some Noise better than this still.

3.2 Sell Outs

The first of two follow-ups to the marketing episode in the zoom season, this is one of the concepts that works pretty well over zoom but doesn't take unique advantage of it a la Jeopardy or Tell Us About Yourself. Still good fun.

2.1 Round 4

More make some noise, does establish the gag about the points continuing between episodes.

3.8 Secret Samta

This is the best of the premises that are basically just 'Sam gives shit away' to me.

4.4 Secret Samta 3

It's better in person then over zoom, but game samer penalty.

3.15 Secret Samta 2: The Samta Clause

They do add some fun twists and all on each episode as they go, though, so they all kind of ended up clumped.

7.3 Earnest-est

I don't get the batman obsession in this episode (is batman especially earnest in Sam's mind?) and also the Joker wasn't even in the movie with Kiss From A Rose on the soundtrack but that aside it's a lot of fun.

3.11 Three for the Price of One

The last of the marketing episodes, still good fun, even if Grant's the worst salesman on earth.

5.2 Like My Coffee 2

Inuendo is always fun, but this makes it above the original for one simple reason: Bringing Grant's mother onto this episode as a surprise guest is a crazy move in the ongoing war of humiliation between Grant and Sam.

4.9/4.10 Survivor

These multi-parters are getting grouped together and an average grade. My favorite of the 'reality show knockoff' bunch, in part because it was the first time they did it and people who were into it were REALLY into it.

3.6 Never Have I Ever

The precursor to Dirty Laundry and I love that show.

5.10-5.13 Battle Royale

A lot going on here, but kind of weak compared to the average episode, just.. there's a lot of it.

4.6 Filmed Before a Live Studio Audience

I think one of the weaker premises they've done, carried strongly by the cast.

1.3 Game of Prizes

The first "Sam gives shit away" episode, this one is a little fun but not among the more balanced rulesets they've used.

4.2 Like My Coffee

Basically just an improv game, but it's a fun one.

5.5 A Game Most Changed

I'm more into standard theater than I am anything musical, but I found the episode more impressive on a talent level than actually funny and I don't think it's especially rewatchable.

1.5 Nom Nom Nom

Kind of a gross episode, reminds me a bit of Double Dare as a kid.

6.2 The Newlyweb Game

Fun, and I'd never give up my phone to Sam Reich, but especially by the standards of recent seasons nothing that wild - this one's a double, not a home run.

3.5 Ham It Up

A great guest here, and this is a premise I think might go better in an in person situation than over Zoom. I'd love to see this one iterated on.

2.5 The Everything Factory

One of the first complete chaos episodes, but a little repetitive.

6.4 Pencils Down

Art episodes don't tend to be my favorites; there's some really good bits in this, but the nature of it means there aren't that many prompts in the episode.

3.14 Tome of Terror

I like improv storytelling a bit more than art on average but all of these are just alright to me.

4.5 The Official Cast Recording

This is one I think most people would have higher; I'm just not a musical theater person and pretty much any kind of musical comedy's getting dinged points for me.

3.3 Changer Con

I get what they were going for, and it kind of works, but the dressup bits on Make Some Noise aren't really my thing either.

3.12 Next Slide Please

Recreational powerpoints (see also: Smartypants) seem to really appeal to people who haven't held office jobs. I've held an office job.

5.2 Karaoke Night

More musical humor, more things most people would rate higher.

6.8/6.9 Ratfish

Some great bits in here, but really dragged down by everything to do with the Ratfish himself and also I just kind of hate the rules of this game.

3.13 Make it Fashion

More zoom dressup. It's fine.

4.7 Don't Cry

Honestly a very sweet episode and the recurring bit of Jess losing points at the end is hilarious but this is a much kinder gesture than like, full episode.

2.3 Sleeper Agents

This premise just doesn't work at all for me, and just.. interacting with the public always makes me cringe a little bit. Also notably by FAR the shortest episode of the series; even the shortest zoom episodes are like 20% longer than this.

5.6/5.7 The Bachelor

Almost painful to watch for me, but I also hate the actual Bachelor so good job mimicking it I guess?

3.4 Is This Thing On?

I get what they were going for, but definitely the worst of the Sam Gives Shit Away premises.

3.10 The Substitute

Noise Boys over zoom without Zac did… not work super well for me.

3.9 2020 Vision

A quiz episode about 'did this happen in 2020' that does not work at all now that it's not 2020 anymore.

[ask-gamtavkar]

whats the dang quadrants

FINALLY *SOMEONE* IS ASKING SOME DECENT QUESTIONS HERE. QUADRANTS ARE BASICALLY THE CORE OF SOCIETY, THE FLUID RUSHING THROUGH THE PUSHERS OF ALL TROLLS ACROSS THE ENTIRETY OF PARADOX SPACE. CONCUPISCENT, CONCILIATORY, RED AND BLACK. ALL THESE DIFFERENT CATEGORIES OVERLAP INTO THE FOUR DISTINCT RELATIONSHIP TYPES WE TROLLS FUNCTION WITH.

FIRST WE HAVE CONCILIATORY REDROM, MOIRAILEGENCE, WHERE YOU FIND SOMEONE SO ABSOLUTELY PATHETIC THAT YOU CAN'T HELP BUT WANT TO FIX THEIR INSURMOUNTABLE SHITHEAP OF ISSUES. NOW, THIS PART IS SOMETIMES OVERLOOKED, BUT MUTUAL PITY IS IMPORTANT TO NOT HAVE AN UNBALANCED RELATIONSHIP. IF ONE PARTNER IS DOING ALL THE PACIFYING FOR ONE PARTICULARLY PAN-BOGGLINGLY PITIFUL TROLL, IT WILL EVENTUALLY END UP IN DISASTER. MOIRAILEGENCE IS BASICALLY WHAT KEEPS SOCIETY FROM CRUMBLING UNDER THE WEIGHT OF THE FUCKING MOUNTAIN SIZED PILE OF PAN-DEAD IDIOTS THAT LITTER THE UNIVERSE.

NEXT IS CONCUPISCENT REDROM, MATESPRITSHIP. THE EASIEST QUADRANT FOR YOU HUMANS TO UNDERSTAND FOR SOME GODDAMN REASON. IT'S WHERE SOMEONES PITY CONTORTS LIKE THE FUCKING THING FROM THAT HUMAN MOVIE THE THING INTO SOME SORT OF MATING FONDNESS. PHYSICAL OR EMOTIONAL ATTRACTION WILL END UP TURNING INTO PITY, WHICH IS THE FOUNDATION OF REDROM. BUT OF COURSE IT'S NOT CONCILIATORY SO THE GOAL ISN'T TO MANAGE SOMEONE'S SAD, PATHETIC, CRUMBLING LIFE BUT INSTEAD TRY TO JAM YOURSELF INTO THAT LIFE LIKE A CUBIC BLOCK CARVING INTO A ROUND TREEFALL-HOLE.

NOW TO CONCUPISCENT BLACKROM. KISMESISTUDE IS OFTEN THE MOST MISUNDERSTOOD AND UNSTABLE QUADRANT, BUT THAT JUST COMES WITH THE TERRITORY. A BOND OF PURE UNFETTERED HATE IS RARE, BUT TROLLS MAKE DUE WITH WHATEVER HALF-BAKED RIVALRIES THEY CAN MANAGE. IMAGINE SOMEONE YOU DESPISE SO MUCH YOU JUST CAN'T STAND THE THOUGHT OF NOT BEING BETTER THAN THEM AND SHOVING IT IN THEIR UGLY WASTE-EATING FACE, AND YOU HAVE THE GIST OF IT. OBVIOUSLY IN REAL LIFE IT'S MORE COMPLICATED THAN THAT BUT I CAN'T JUST OVERLOAD YOUR SLOW MAMMALIAN PANS WITH TOO MUCH KNOWLEDGE AT ONCE.

AND ON TO CONCILIATORY BLACKROM, AUSPISTICISM. THE ONLY REASON EVERY TROLL HASN'T CULLED EACH OTHER OVER WHO OWNS MORE TROLL POGS. AN AUSPICES JOB IS TO GET SO FED UP WITH A COUPLE OF TROLLS SQUAWKING AT EACH OTHER LIKE LARGE BEAKED WATERFOWL ARGUING OVER A BIG JUICY TROUT THAT THEY STEP IN AND BREAK UP THAT FEUD BEFORE IT CAN BLOSSOM INTO A KISMESISTUDE. SINCE TROLLS ARE SO FUCKING STUPID, A LOT OF ARGUMENTS HAPPEN. ALL OF THE TIME. CONSTANTLY. SO WE NEED SOME WAY TO STOP THE DOZENS AND DOZENS OF NON-ROMANTIC RIVALRIES FROM BLOSSOMING INTO CHAOTIC FESTERING PLAGUE CLOUDS OF ASTATIC HATE. THAT CAN ONLY LEAD TO SOMEONE GETTING HURT, AND NOT IN THE FUNNY WAY.

HONESTLY I'M KIND OF A GENIUS AT THIS STUFF AND I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE DON'T ASK ME ABOUT IT MORE. EVERYONE AROUND ME IS JUST SO ROMANTICALLY INCOMPETENT THEY PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START. I MEAN, AT LEAST GAMZEE CAN COMPREHEND THE IDEA AND EVEN ACT AS A DECENT MOIRAIL WHEN HE'S NOT FUCKING FONDLING HIS HORNS OR WHATEVER. TAVROS IS JUST A LOST CAUSE.

[lostmotivation2draw]

1st Semifinal ✨Opinions✨

So yesterday was Eurovision's first semifinal and I just wanted to give my opinions on it

For starters the big 5 did amazing. I don't really like Spain's song but the staging was really good. Italy was AMAZING like I know they've sent better things but I love how the put subtitles so people understood the meaning of the song and THE HARMONICA?? LIVE??? Like he played it LIVE I'm dying. And Switzerland was so good, I like the song and Zöe really defended it well live, I do feel bad because of the camera malfunction but that's not really a problem if the final goes well so yeah, fingers crossed.

✨Opinions about each country's performance✨

• Iceland!? Hello!? The level up they had from the National!? I love this song so much and I was worried that the staging could be way too simple or way too overboard (You never know with Eurovision) but no they did AMAZING

• Poland was something. To be honest I only watched half of the performance because of personal reasons I wasn't able to see all of it and I'll just take advantage of that and wait to be surprised this Saturday. So yeah no review for you yet :D

• Slovenia did amazing, I'm not really a fan of ballads but Klemen does it so well this is one of my favorite songs this year. I am glad they kept the weird upside down part, do I know why it's there? The symbolism? Hell no I just find it cool and I don't need more reasons

• Estonia was good, I like the little gag with the stage invader thing, that was funny. Kind of disappointed by Tommy Cash's vocals but luckily this song doesn't really need them so it's totally fine.

• Ukraine actually did better than I expected in the best way possible. I do like the song a lot but the rehearsal photos didn't give me a really good vibe BUT BOY WAS I WRONG! I loved this from start to finish, the whole performance felt like a fever dream and I'm here for it

• SWEDEN YES MY WINNERS KAJ YOU'RE AMAZING I'VE HAD THIS SONG ON REPEAT SINCE IT CAME OUT. Now getting serious I'm glad the kept the staging almost the same as in the NF, don't fix what's perfect. I love you Mäns Zermerlöw but this guys NEEDED to go for Sweden

• Portugal did good, the song is nice and somehow when I saw their performance I felt like I knew this guys my whole life. Like I almost cry when the audience cheered in the middle of the song and I saw the way the singer's face lit up, like, I want to hug the whole of NAPA just let meee

• Norway was great as expected, Kyle Alessandro is a legend, he's iconic and I'm totally not biased in the fact that he's Spanish nono. But yeah it wasn't revolutionary, there was fire and usual Eurovision stuff (Because lighter duh) but overall I liked it.

• Belgium was another that did better than I was expecting. Mostly cause I thought I would fucking get epilepsy for life when I saw it but that's not the point. Red Sebastian really defended the song and the choreo was cool. I would say the only thing I didn't really like about it was THE RED. Like I know you're RED SEBASTIAN and that's like your thing but my eyes dude. Apart from that really good.

• Azerbaijan wasn't bad. I expected it kinda, again I like the song but the staging was sure something. To be honest my full attention was on the dancers cause tf were they doing. The song itself, good, the staging, weird.

• San Marino had me worried to be honest. I know they aren't exactly the richest country in the world but damn I don't know a couple dancers would have been cool. But yeah happy cheery lighthearted performance that'll get people dancing and representing a culture, that's what Eurovision's about.

• Albania was amazing. The color scheme, the vocals, everything. It was perfect Albania learned from last year I was worried they would do a weird English revamp of the song but NO and I applaud them for that

• Netherlands was the typical Eurovision song performance and song wise. Not mad about it though, what works works and it did for them so that's good

• Croatia's song is SO UNDERRATED in my opinion, I loved the vibe, I loved the song and I loved everything. But yeah I guess people had enough of half creepy half cute stuff with Ireland last year

• Cyprus was INCREDIBLE. The staging? 10/10, Theo Evan? 10/10, song? 10/10. Loved it start no finish. I was worried for the staging because Cyprus the last years has been really simple BUT THEY WON WITH THIS IT'S SO GOOD

✨ Interval opinions✨

I'll talk about the opening and ending too but yeah

The opening was nice, I don't have a lot to say about it something you would expect from Eurovision. It was cool but not something you would remember for years.

THE INTERVAL. It's was GREAT, I'm not joking when I say that I was watching this with my family and I said "omg they're trying to pull a Petra Mëde" AND FREAKING PETRA MËDE APPEARS A MINUTE AFTER. YES. QUEEN. I LOVE YOU. COME BACK EVERY YEAR. Apart from that cool interval, it was fun and silly. I like fun and silly

The ending was something to even take seriously? I knew he was going to appear at some point BUT DUDE. My boy was not the first to win IN THE MILLENNIUM for you to only place him in the stage BY HIMSELF AT THE VERY END. I feel like that was kinda rude from their part

✨Results opinion✨

I LOST A FREAKING EURO

GUESS WHO I VOTED FOR

THAT'S RIGHT

CYPRUS

I'm cryiiiiiiing

Anyways I actually like the new way of saying the finalists from an audience pov. I do think it's way too stressful for the artists but for casual viewers for example is much more easier to recognize people if you see them three times, you know what I mean?

Apart from that I like the choice of songs that went through, except for Poland not because it's a bad song and the singer has a really powerful voice it's just not my thing

THEO EVAN YOU ARE A FINALIST IN MY HEART

ALSO I ALMOST CRIED WHEN PORTUGAL WENT THROUGH

NAPA IS MY FAMILY NOW

THEY JUST LOOK LIKE GUYS WHO WOULD GIVE YOU CANDY IF THEY SAW YOU SAD 😭

PLEASE ADOPT ME I'M SPANISH I CAN UNDERSTAND PORTUGUESE TO SOME DEGREE

Also tf was the reaction from Ukraine to being in the finals? I don't know if it was a joke, if his soul left his body or if he didn't want to go. I just know that it has meme potential

Anyways those were my ✨opinions✨ for the first semi.

See you for the second semi!!

[cookinguptales]

having pmdd is really weird because some mornings you just wake up and cry for a while because you feel like you're not enough (and will never be enough) to be loved, but you knew this was coming because you know how a calendar works so like you just kind of. have your little breakdown, wash your face, then go make a sandwich and try not to think about it.

like knowing what it is doesn't really make things easier to deal with, but at least you can tell yourself that your brain is just being a bully and it'll be easier in a couple days. and in the meantime. still gotta eat, I guess.

[hermitsdump]

kind of amazing how you can spend 99% of your life forgetting about someone's existence and still have nightmares about them for... nearly 20 years at this point. it's been 10 years since seeing them. fucj

[theladygazingatemptiness]

hm. so looks like my love for making art is just gone forever huh

[nero-neptune]

close encounters of the third kind is an objectively good movie, but it feels sorta tragic. and i doubt thet was the intention lol. love the cinematography, love the music score, love the visual effects. that's all fun and good. but where everyone else seems to see a movie full of "wonder", it just makes me feel sad. the movie ends the way it does and it leaves me feeling bummed the fuck out.

[faksyan]

Saw people talking about cringy romance/smut fanfics they wrote as teens and how embarrassed they are by it now and went huh. so many writers had that phase I wonder why I didn't. guess I just didn't find any of that stuff that interesting.

my man my guy you should've figured out the aroace thing sooner.

[thevegetablewhichnoonedaresname]

hmmm once again seeing some opinions that really really baffle me

[medicinemane]

Ah... I've figured it out!

My brain's been treating Caucasus and Carpathian as the same word and that's why it's been so confusing why this mountain range seems to jump around by a pretty wide margin

Dyslexia did the same thing with Austria and Australia where just like here I knew they were different, but just didn't quite process it, which ended up with me thinking things like "Wow, I wonder why Falco's German is so spot on, like that's pretty impressive for an Australian"

Like my dyslexia just says "These two words are similar size and shape... I think they're probably more or less the same word, I'll file them away in the same spot, especially cause they're the same type of thing"

But I finally caught it seeing Carpathians mentioned being in Ukraine, and me being like "I really did think they were more over towards Georgia... maybe they go under the black se... wait a minute, I finally figured out why I'm confused"

Also see the Balkans and the Baltic where I 100% know the difference and know which one I'm talking about but very much may say the wrong one (and my dad's been like "oh you see, you just need to remember that..." and it's like dude it's dyslexia... also with GK Chesterton I'll often say "J" and my dad'll say similar stuff and it's like dude... there's no mnemonic here, J and G just sound and look similar enough my brain sometimes swaps them in behind my back)

Anyway, finally caught it in the act, finally understand why it seemed like these mountains jumped across a large body of water and no one ever commented on it... it's cause it was my dyslexia filing them away as both mountain ranges starting with C so... basically the same thing... yeah... yeah that's the same thing

[theabigailthorn]

What are we supposed to do now? By ‘we’ I mean UK based trans women and transfems. How are we meant to continue? Knowing the country hates us. The law refuses to accept our existence. Everyone wishes we would just shut up and disappear. How are we supposed to live like this? I know I can’t.

Let me tell you a very funny story that might make you feel better.

Not long ago I called the suicide hotline feeling exactly the way you describe. The volunteer on the other end was an older cis lady, and I was like, "Hey, I'm trans - all this stuff is happening, the government says blah blah blah, the court says XYZ, and I feel like I'm living in this really hostile country that hates me, and it sucks!" I told her how angry I was, how much all this makes me hate by fellow human beings, how much I wouldn't care if Britain sank into the sea or was burned away to ashes along with all its inhabitants, and how ashamed I am of feeling such venom and cynicism.

And there was a bit of a pause.

And the volunteer lady says, "What's trans?"

I - Joker makeup bursting from the pores of my face - explain to her what being transgender is. She has questions like, "So, what was the legal process like, what do you have to do?" and I'm like "Oh HO HO HO! Let me tell you the hoops I had to jump through!" and she's like "Wow, that sounds so difficult?" and I'm like, "HEE HEE HEE I haven't even gotten to the difficult bit yet!" I'm ranting, I'm pacing my living room like a tiger, quoting Merchant of Venice and Coriolanus down the phone to this woman on the suicide hotline, like "If you prick us do we not bleed?! If you tickle us do we not laugh?!" "I banish you, and here remain with your uncertainty!" (She's like "I remember this Shakespeare from school!") It feels like I'm vomiting up this black sludge of hate that I've built up, like people spit on me and I've absorbed all that spit and now I'm burning with it.

So at the end of all this the volunteer lady's like well yeah of course you feel angry, that makes perfect sense! Anybody with a heart would feel the way you do! Of course you feel cynical and bitter and despairing! And she tells me that she hasn't seen any of this, but it's shocked her. She thinks this court case sounds like a really backwards step; she thought Britain was progressive. And I'm like, "I used to think that too, and the loss of that illusion hurts."

But then she goes well look - these judges and politicians, they live in a bubble. They don't really know what life is like for ordinary people like me and you. There are plenty of people in Britain like her, who just don't really pay attention to this stuff. There might be some who throw things at me in the street and treat me poorly, but there are also a lot of people who are just... normal? And fine? And who are just doing their own thing, and who are appalled to discover this kind of thing is happening? And I'm like oh yeah - I guess if the country was destroyed all those people would go too... It's not true that everyone wants us to disappear.

And she says she's going to go home and look all of this up because it sounds like trans people are really being mistreated, and she's like "Thank you for telling me all this. I hope you feel better."

And I'm like yeah you know what, I kinda do. It helped to have someone else go, "I understand how you feel." So, y'know, we've got one more ally at least.

[maddy-ferguson]

i was so paris in the hobbit the sofa and digger stiles this week reinventing yourself is a lie i'm the same person with new people around

[yandere-romanticaa]

Seen the request, so I shall deliver. Could you pls write a drabble or hcs of a yandere sunday with an isekaied reader?

Good timing because I'm actually planning a non yan isekai fic for him, I wonder if you saw that post. Here it is in case you haven't.

Sincerest apologies if this isn't the best, this fic is 100% emotionally charged by my obsession with him and frankly with a little bit of a high for passing a tricky exam. This is a treat for myself.

EDIT: Please check out this wonderful comic that @danijaci made me based off this fic!! 😭🫶

Picking up the cup from the fine oak table, you gazed towards the eerie galaxy before you, hundreds upon thousands of stars giving you a constant reminder of just how far from home you truly were. Taking a sip from the little porcelain cup you could not help but to hum in delight, the soft notes of the tea soothing your nerves ever so lightly as you pretended to ignore the heavy gaze which lingered at the back of your head.

Even from this distance, it was easy to tell that Sunday was eager to approach you. Still, he kept his distance and made a silent offering in the form of the very tea you drank at the moment.

Anything is better than Himeko's coffee but you were never going privy her to that.

In a not so distant past, all of this was nothing but fiction. The Express, the story, the characters - it was all nothing more but fiction, something to pass the time as your days went on and on, the same monotony repeating each and every day.

It was hard to not think about your friends and family, what sane person would not? Lord knows how they must be feeling right now, worried sick out of their minds with indescribable sorrow. In their eyes you had merely vanished, not a single trace to be found. For all they knew you could have been left for dead in a ditch somewhere, beaten, bloodied and broken, never to see the light again or if they were even more inclined to be morbid, you had succumbed to a fate worse than death. Death at the very least grants you finality, that all is over regardless of what happened moments prior.

But that was simply not the case for you.

Here you were, lounging about in a comfortable chair as you pondered on your old life while enjoying tiny little luxuries, far away where none of your loved ones could reach you. However, life was funny sometimes because it had some fun games in store.

Sunday was very kind upon arrival. He made sure to always be there for you, always checking up on you, always there to keep you company. You were already smitten with him but now to actually witness him in the flesh was just... Indescribable. You got along like a house on fire, so much so that the crew liked to tease that you ought to just get a room. Sunday, ever the gentleman, would just brush their words aside and assure you to not take their playful little jabs to heart.

You wouldn't say anything, resorting to merely giving him a smile but not because of what he said but rather of what he did not - never once did he actually shut down those perverse accusations. Never, not even once did he deny them.

He became an emotional crutch, someone to whom you would come running to when things got tough and he would always welcome you with open arms. Sunday would hold you tenderly, his serene voice dripping with honey along with a tender drop of ecstasy, for his excitement with holding you would just show itself sometimes. His grip would be too tight at certain moments, never quite ready to let you leave. His hugs were warm and comforting, he always smelled so good too. He smelled like kindness and sweet wildflowers, always lulling you back to him no matter the time. In dark corners and perhaps even under the watchful eyes of the crew, Sunday would wrap his scarf around your head, securing the soft fabric in order to provide you with a sense of comfort.

It was humiliating just how much you would try to inhale his scent as much as possible. You wanted it etched deep inside your memory, you wished for it to linger on your very soul and for it to follow you everywhere you went, sticking to your being like tar. The fabric of the scarf would muffle your ears a little but someone was always chatting in the background. Be it March bickering with Dan Heng, Mr Yang scolding someone for doing something they were not supposed to, or just Conductor Pom Pom trying to give a speech, all of it was irrelevant.

You were ready to kill whoever would try to pry you away from sweet Sunday. That thought came often which had left you worried - just what kind of person had you become? Regardless, you kept your mouth shut and had no plans of sharing such violent sentiments with anyone, particularly not to the one you held so dear.

When it was time to part for the evening you would bid the crew farewell and wished them a good night. You always made sure to take a few extra seconds with Sunday, just to ease your aching soul. He would tell you to sleep well and would see you in the morning, ready to take on any endeavor that crossed your paths.

As everyone parted ways, Sunday would wander off somewhere dark and distant, somewhere no one could see nor hear him. He would fall to his knees and clutch his chest in agony, fat tears streaming down his face as he did everything he possibly could to steady his raging heart. In a rush he would reach for the scarf which clung around his neck, his grip tighter than iron as he would bring it close to his nose. Taking a large, deep breath, Sunday was greeted by your familiar scent which would promptly calm his poor heart.

He sometimes wondered if his heart would start bleeding from the pain due to the sheer intensity of his emotions.

This was wrong, everything about this was not right and it hurt. Sunday was obviously ill but he had no clue on how to fight this... This emotion, this white hot feeling of need whenever you stood by his side. He started to choke on the air around him and fell into an abrupt coughing fit but even then, he could bring himself to remove the scarf from the lower part of his face.

Sunday wept and sobbed, filthy snot coming out from his nose but he could not handle that now. He needed you, Oh Heavenly Aeons, how he needed you. However was he going to tell you how he felt? How, oh how was he going to express the sheer magnitude of his true thoughts? He would scare you off, he was sure of it.

Even with this pain, even with these clipped wings and bleeding heart, Sunday had never felt so alive, so harrowingly present in the moment whenever he was with you.

Perhaps, he was doing himself a kindness by just letting you be. Drink your tea, be at peace.

He can always just make you another cup if you so desired.

Without knowing, you both haunted each other in the most agonizing way known to mankind and neither was strong enough to face the reality of the situation.