#I know doona was waiting for her manager's phone call

[dramaaddict]

Normally I'd feel really bad for Wonjun but that's Freaking LEE JIN WOOK. Can you blame her? I'm 100% on team Wonjun but also THAT'S LEE JIN WOOK. Sorry Wonjun. I'm still rooting for you tho.

[365days365movies]

May 4, 2021: The Host (2006) (Recap)

NO NOT THAT ONE

Stephanie Meyer goddamn sucks. I realize that I’m not exactly the first person to say that, but she’s terrible. Not only is she not a good writer, but she also has some very disparaging views about science fiction and its fans, which led her to make her own science fiction book and film. ANd yeah...it’s terrible! No surprise there.

So, no, not the 2013 critical and commercial flop known as The Host. No, this post is about 2006′s The Host, AKA Gwoemul, AKA 괴물. I haven’t ventured to far into the world of Korean cinema, and with this film, my repertoire includes only the films of director Bong Joon-Ho. And if that name sounds familiar...it should.

Bong Joon-ho DESERVEDLY made headlines last year when his film became the first non-English language film to win for Best Picture, and the first time Asian writers won for best screenplay! His Oscar speech in accepting best director is genuinely one of the best and most sincere speeches I’ve ever heard from a director, and I love the dude.

Oh, and if you’re wondering which film it was, then, like me, you also really need to watch Parasite. And because I’m terrified of spoilers, I’m not gonna look for GIFs of that movie. Instead, I’ll put in a GIF of one of my favorite sci-fi films, and the only other Bong Joon-ho film I’ve seen.

God, I love Snowpiercer. And if this is anything like that, I’m probably going to love this movie. Now, I don’t really know much about this film, other than the fact that it’s a monster film. And if there’s any science-fiction subgenre more iconic than monster films, I don’t know it. Well...OK, aliens, robots, and more, but monster films are still a big part of the genre. But where does that begin? Is it here?

Definitely an argument you can make, since Frankenstein’s Monster is a creation of science gone wrong, from the book to the movie. Fun fact, Mary Shelley based it on a real-world experiment by Italian physiologist Giovanni Aldini, who used a corpse to illustrate the connection between electricity and muscles. Neat, huh? So, yeah, that’s a solid launching point.

But that’s more of a horror story. What about something a little more monster-y? Well, from the UK to Japan we go!

OHHHHHH YEAH, THAT’S THE GOOD STUFF

Toho’s 1954 film Gojira is one of the most classic monster films ever made, and singlehandedly launched the kaiju genre in Japan. And it’s really well-known that it was made as a response to post-World War II tensions about nuclear warfare. Which, in Japan, is kind of understandable, no? But nothing demonstrated the destructive power of science more than that moment in history. 

So, Godzilla arrives. And the US also makes more monster movies, most of which take place in contemporary settings, making many of them lo-fi sci-fi. Now, some dipped into horror or fantasy, but the science fiction roots were there. Which eventually would bring us full circle to films where monsters were made and go loose. You know, like this:

It’s a franchise that defines the ‘90s, and lab-grown monster movies exploded around that time as well. At the same time, environmental concerns REALLY started to build by this point, and those concerns leaked profusely into film all over the world. And by the time we get to 2006...well, let’s get into it, huh?

SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

In a mortuary, a U.S. military doctor (Scott Wilson) instructs his assistant (Brian Lee) to dump bottles of formaldehyde down the drain of the facility, which goes directly into the Han River. The assistant protests, but the doctor insists, despite the risk of polluting the river. AAAAAmericans.

In the river about two years later, two fisherman see something strange looking in the river. Then, four years later, in 2006, a suicidal man is about to jump into the river, when he sees something dark in the water below.

Later that year, we meet Park Hee-bong (Byun Hee-Bong) and his son Park Gang-du (Song Kang-ho), who run a food truck and snack bar near the river. Gang-du’s not exactly a hard worker, to his father’s chagrin. His daughter, Hyun-seo (Go Ah-sung), is a student who comes home from school, where her drunken uncle Nam-il (Park Hae-il) comes to her chagrin. She and her father watch TV, where his sister Nam-joo (Bar Doona) can be seen competing in archery.

As he’s bringing food out to customers, he joins them in observing something strange and massive hanging off of the bridge. And at this point, I would be running the fuck away. Literally, the news just said that there was a body found with the legs missing, and these people are throing cans at it after it plunges into the water. One girl asks if it’s a dolphin. Mother...HAVE YOU SEEN A DOLPHIN BEFORE?

NOT THIS

Yeah, this thing just comes bounding along the shore, slapping people into the water with its tail, and batting aside others. Doesn’t look like its actively killing anybody yet, but it’s definitely hurting people at least. That is, until it goes into a trailer where a bunch of people have gathered, and appears to eat a bunch of them. So, yeah, dangerous.

Gang-du, to his infinite credit, actually attempts to confront and hurt the creature, with the help of Donald White (David Joseph Anselmo). And it works, but at the cost of the creature aggro-ing onto him. Back at the snack truck, his sister’s lost the title, much to the chagrin of Gang-du’s daughter and father. She goes outside in frustration, only to be thrown into the midst of the chaos with her dad. He grabs a girls hand in the chaos, only to find that it’s a different child entirely. And...unfortunately...

The creature grabs her with its tail, and leaps back into the river, disappearing. Fuck. Poor Hyun-seo, and poor Gang-du. Gang-du IMMEDIATELY goes to get her back, jumping into the river, but the creature takes her across to an island, out of reach. That night, an impromptu funeral is held for the victims, at which Hyun-seo is being honored as well. There, both Gang-du’s sister and brother also attend, and all four of the break down dramatically and publicly.

Nam-il blames his brother for letting her die, which is unfair, but understandable. The family eventually calms down and discusses the circumstances of Hyun-Seo’s birth and death, both of which were accidental. As they do, a man in a protective suit comes out, and asks who was at the river incident. Nam-il protests this, and asks what’s going on. The man doesn’t explain, and the room is instead gassed, as everyone is ushered towards the entrance.

In the process, Gang-du (stupidly) reveals that he was hit by some blood splatter. He’s immediately stuffed in a bag and kidnapped by the authorities. Meanwhile, the news reveals that the creature is carrying a virus, and anyone who has been in contact with it has been infected. Because of this, the entire family is taken to a quarantine hospital, which oddly has very few actual quarantine procedures in place. And additionally, Gang-du is feeling a bit itchy.

That night, in the hospital, Gang-du gets a call on his cell phone! It’s Hyun-seo! She’s alive! And she’s trapped, in a sewer somewhere near the river. Meanwhile, a group of men in protectve suits are outside patrolling the river. One man finds money on the side of the road, and goes to pick it up, only for the men to be attacked by the creature. But it’s then that we discover that the creature is not killing or eating people, but simply taking them own to its lair. Also in said lair is Hyun-seo, trapped and with a now dead phone.

The next day, the family tries to get an officer to look into the call, only for the officer to be, frankly, an absolute piece of shit to this grieving family. Gang-du tries to explain, and his explanation is ENTIRELY RATIONAL, but the officer and doctors are absolutely terrible about it.

Because nobody’s listening, the family manages to escape from the hospital in order to try and save Hyun-Seo, and they hop into a van, taking it and running. This is a good place to mention that, despite this being a monster movie, it's also...weirly funny sometimes. Like, that whole scene is pretty great. After bartering with a group of gangsters for supplies (and after Hee-bong basically gives away all of his credit cards), the group manages to get a map and a new car. But they pretty quickly get stopped at a checkpoint into the city, and are nearly caught, but manage to escape and get to the riverfront. Once there, they begin searching the sewers to find Hyun-seo. And I gotta say; this may be an extremely dysfunctional family, but they’re a devoted family all the same.

Of course, that eventually gives way to arguments within the sewer itself, but that’s interrupted by a noise heard somewhere around them. They fire at it, using weapons obtained from the gangster but conclude that it was nothing. What it actually is is two brothers, older Se-jin (Lee Jae-eung) and younger Se-joo (Lee Dong-ho), homeless kids who are foraging the sewers in the abandoned city. But, of course, they eventually run into the creature, which attacks them. Meanwhile, an asleep Hyun-Seo dreams of dinner with her family, only to be woken up by the arrival of the creature, who deposits the bodies of the two boys in the sewer with her. Se-joo has survived, but Se-jin hasn’t, sadly.

Meanwhile, the rest of the family is gathered at their snack bar for the night, and prepares to set out or the morning. The to younger siblings appear to not give a single shit about Gang-du, but Hee-bong attempts to set them straight, talking about how he blames himself for the way Gang-du is now. However, the two just fall asleep during his speech. Poor Hee-bong. Also, he can apparently identify Gang-du’s health condition based on his farts because they spend so much time together, it’s dumb, and funny.

Also, poor the rest of them, because Gang-du wakes up to see the creature just waiting outside, watching them. Hee-bong fires at it, but the creature attacks and knocks over the bar. However, Hee-bong manages to hit it directly in the head, knocking it off, but not killing it. The family goes out to finish the job, but it runs away before they can kill it. They run after it, and are almost completely out of bullets. Hee-bong volunteers to go after it himself, but in the process...

Hee-bong doesn’t make it. The creature kills him, and the commotion attracts the military to their location. Gang-du is again captured, while Nam-il and Nam-joo escape, only to later be separated regardless. Meanwhile, the virus kills Donald White, the sergeant from earlier, and it continues to spread across Korea. To kill the creature, the government plans to release a chemical into the river called Agent Yellow, which feels...controversial.

Nam-il meats a colleague, “Fat Guevara” (Yam Pil-sung), who is easily able to provide a location for Hyun-seo using the number, which the cop earlier insisted was nearly impossible to do. Plus, both the sergeant and Gang-du encountered the creature together, and he seems to be just fine. Which probably means that something very wrong is happening now. Even worse, though, is the fact that Guevara’s appeared to trap Nam-il, as a massive reward is sought for his arrest. A gang of people surround hi, with the plan to capture him, but he VERY cleverly escapes by causing an electrical short, and AFTER having found Hyun-seo’s location! Nice, man! He takes off, now knowing exactly where his niece is.

Nam-joo, meanwhile, is literally living inside of the snack bar, and she gets a text from Nam-il with her location. He tags out, and she tags in, running to the location where the call came from. But she immediately runs into the creature, which knocks her down and unconscious. She manages to call Gang-du, who is currently about to be sedated. Now knowing where his daughter is, he tries to escape, only to be tackled by the doctors. He tells them where she is, but they don’t appear to listen. More importantly, the anesthetic doesn’t appear to work, much to the confusion of the doctors. Something is verrrrrrrry wrong here.

An American doctor (Paul Lazar) comes, and asks what’s wrong, and he tells him exactly what’s wrong. However, despite his words SEEMING to be heard, they once again call him crazy and delusional, and decide to give him a lobotomy to isolate the virus once and for all, like FUCKING ASSHOLES. Turns out that the virus? Yeah, it doesn’t exist whatsoever! It doesn’t exist even a little bit! Which means that this entire thing is a wild goddamn goose chase for a virus that DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST!!!

And the best thing is that Gang-du, despite not actually knowing English, still understands the words “no virus”, and know he fucking knows! However, because he knows, they now have to give him a lobotomy. Fuck me, man. Panicking, he cries for them to stop, and cries for his daughter, who’s still alive in the sewer.

Speaking of, Hyun-seo and Se-joo are bonding in the sewer, as they work to make a rope from things they find there. But in the process, they’re attacked by the creature, who know is actively eating the bodies, and presumably other people. Whoof. They manage to escape, but barely.

Back with Gang-du, who’s just gone through the lobotomy, which...hasn’t worked at all. Holy SHIT. Not sure what the hel is UP with this dude, but that’s a question in and of itself. He escapes by taking a nurse hostage, threatening them with a syringe of his blood, full of a virus that doesn’t exist!

Nam-il wakes up at the same time, not accompanied by a homeless man (Yoon Je-moon), who agrees to take him to the bridge to find Hyun-seo. In the sewer, the two kids have survived, and the creature appears to be asleep. Like a GODDAMN BOSS, she runs up the creatures back, and jumps onto a rope that she had made, and that was hanging far out of her reach. Unfortunately...the creature catches her with its tail. Fuck. It sets her down, and...lets her go? But as soon as she runs, it attacks bother her and Se-joo.

Just then, Gang-du gets to the lair, and uses the rope to climb down. Below him is a pile of bones, and no kids to be seen. The creature goes by, and Hyun-seo’s hand is dangling out of its mouth. And once again by coincidence, that’s when Nam-joo wakes up and reunites with her brother. The creature runs to the waterfront, only to be greeted by...a crowd? They’re gathered there to protest the release of the dangerous chemical into the river.

It all collides at once. The creature swims towards the crowd, Gang-du runs towards the creature, Agent Yellow is released over them both, causing the creature to faint. Gan-du runs up and grabs the bodies of his daughter and See-joo from its mouth, apparently too fucking late. Shit, man. This would’ve been avoided if they just HELPED him. Fuck. He carries her body away as more chemical is released onto the flailing creature, and the chemical causes everyone else in the area to violently hemorrhage as well. Meanwhile, Nam-il and Nam-joo arrive to see their deceased niece, grieving all over again. It’s...fuck, man, it sucks.

And Gang-du is fucking PISSED NOW. He grabs a street sign and attacks the injured creature, fueled by pure rage. Nam-il joins in with Molotov cocktails as it runs away. The homeless man douses it with gasoline, and that makes it easier for Nam-il to set it on fire...until he drops the bottle. And then, Nam-joo uses it to light an arrow on fire, hitting the creature with it, and setting it ablaze. It runs to the water, only for Gang-du to stab it through the head with the street sign, finally killing it in revenge for his father and his daughter. Fucking bad-ASS. And also quite tragic, given the circumstances.

And despite the tragedy, there is one happy circumstance: Se-joo lives! In fact, Hyun-seo died saving his life, like the real goddamn hero of this story that she is. Fuck. That’s terrible, but I’m happy that her sacrifice wasn’t in vain. From here, we fast-forward to the winter, where a clean-shaven and well-kept Gang-du is is now caring for Se-joo. The news is on in the background, but the two ignore it, happily eating together after the ordeal they’ve been through.

Whoof. That’s The Host, or Gwoemul! And yeah, that’s one hell of a movie, I tell you what. For a monster movie, it’s quite dramatic, and they don’t try to humanize the monster AT ALL. And honestly, I really like it! A Pyrrhic victory at the end, but nothing wrong with that! I’ll elaorate a bit in the review! See you there!

[theyrejustbehindtheveil]

ML Secret Santa 2020

Hi @stockered, i come bearing your gift for this years @mlsecretsanta. Happy Holidays!

[Read on AO3]

It is a known fact that ladybugs hibernate over the winter. It is also a known fact that they spend the winter huddled in groups for warmth. A fact less widely bandied about is that holders of the miraculous tend to develop traits in common with their animal namesakes over time. (Adrien’s fingernails are incredibly sharp these days. As are his teeth. He keeps biting his tongue. ow ).

It is three days after the weather starts to turn cold and grey in Paris that Alya pokes her head up into Marinette’s room and is almost smothered by a falling pile of wool that topples directly onto her head.

“Mhrbthghmph,” says Alya, which would have been a shout of “Marinette!”, if it wasn’t for the falling pile of wool.

“What the fuck?” she says, once all the wool has tumbled past her to thump its way down to the floor below.

“Alya?” comes the slightly muffled response.

She can hear Marinette’s voice, but she can’t see her. Then, after a moment, the pile of blankets heaped on Marinette’s bed shifts and then falls away to let Marinette’s head poke free.

“You okay under there, Mari?”

Marinette shifts slightly further upright with a grumble. “It’s cooold, Alya,” she whines.

Alya blinks in slight surprise. Even though it is a bit cold outside, Marinette’s room, being both at the top of the house and above the bakery ovens, is definitely warmer than the outside weather. Even so, Marinette has built herself a blanket nest and is curled up underneath it.

Alya shakes off her slight confusion. Odd as it is, Marinette does look incredibly cosy. She drops her bag on the floor, resigning herself to the fact that they probably won’t be going out like they’d planned. She shucks her coat onto the floor. “I’m coming in. Brace yourself, girl,” she says, before dropping on top of Marinette with a gentle fwump . Marinette’s giggle is slightly muffled, but Alya can hear it clearly, and smiles as she pulls out her phone, and gets comfortable.

______________________________________________________________________

Marinette is late again. She lives so close and yet according to Nino, she hasn’t gone a week since starting lycée without being late at least once.

Today, she is later than usual, and the weather outside is cold and grey and Mme Bustier is already rummaging on her desk for the roll. She glances worriedly at the door, and then relaxes slightly at the sound of hurrying footsteps approaching the classroom. Marinette rounds the edge of the doorway, and Alya grins at her, before she notices her outfit.

Marinette has slowly been adding more and more layers for the trip to school, and today, Alya can see at least three jumpers layered under her coat.

“Marinette, so nice of you to join us,” Mme. Bustier says.

Marinette grimaces as she takes her seat. “Sorry, Mme. Bustier.”

Alya leans over to Marinette as Mme. Bustier turns away. “Trouble getting out of bed?”

“My bed is warm and the outside is so so cooold, Alya,” she whines as she tugs her books out of her bag. She tugs the cuffs of her top jumper over her hands and huddles down into the scarf she hasn’t taken off yet.

Alya laughs, before they have to turn and start the lesson, but as Marinette’s attention is turned towards the font of the classroom, she frowns in concern. It is cold, but surely its not so cold as to warrant so many layers.

______________________________________________________________________

Ice is crystallizing on Marinettes window when she lands on her balcony with a shiver. Winter is finally making its presence known with a vengeance, and it’s making everything generally even more unpleasant. Worst of all are the late night akuma fights. She’s convinced that both her and Chat are going to turn into icicles by the western new year.

She drops her transformation reluctantly, and feels Tikki make a beeline to tuck herself under the scarf she’d pulled on in a hurry before leaving for the akuma fight earlier that afternoon. She fumbles the catch of the window lock slightly in the cold, before tumbling gratefully into her much warmer bedroom.

She shucks her outer layers off onto the floor and burrows quickly under her blankets before grabbing her phone off the shelf above her pillow. She flicks quickly to the messaging app that Tikki had managed to magic onto her phone, same as the one on her yoyo. Just like after every other akuma, Chat has left her a message.

CN: ❄❄❄❄😠

She grins.

LB: IDK how you got emojis on this thing, kitty, but i agree

CN: I bribed Plagg. He’ll do almost anything for extra stinky cheese 🧀 .

Marinette curls further under her doona with a grin. She rubs the cold tip of her nose before tapping out a reply.

LB: urgh, i’d like to make hawkmoth fight these akuma’s in the cold, see how he likes it >:(

CN: Take away his space heater!

LB: cut the power to his evil lair!!

CN: Cataclysfkdnflgm

Marinette stares at her phone, befuddled by his response.

LB: ?????

LB: chat??

She frowns in concern when he still doesn’t respond

LB: you ok chat?

CN: Sorry! Plagg surprised me and I dropped my phone!

LB: urgh, we should be going to sleep, i have class so early in the morning.

CN: Me too 😔 .

Marinette sighs, tapping out one final message as she huddles down into her blankets.

LB: goodnight, chat

CN: Goodnight, My Lady.

After plugging her phone in for the night, she curls gratefully under the warmth of her doona. This winter feels particularly cold, and she can’t help a shiver at the thought of it getting colder than it already is.

______________________________________________________________________

Alya bursts into the classroom accompanied by a flurry of cold air and a slightly manic grin. She goes to take her seat next to Marinette, only to find Marinette’s usual seat occupied by Nino.

And then she looks closer, and sees that curled in next to Nino is a bundle of winter wear topped by Marinette’s dark hair. She takes her seat next to the pair of them, and watches in fascination as Marinette appears to try and become one with Nino’s puffer jacket.

“Is Mari okay?”

“I think she’s just really super cold, dude.”

Adrien sticks his head over the desk in front of Nino. “He was talking to Kim, and she grabbed him on his way past before he could sit down.”

Alya chuckles. “It’s not even that cold, Mari,” she says, reaching out to tweak the end of Marinette’s pigtail. “Give her here, Nino.”

Nino sighs gently, “Cmon, dude. It’s Alya’s turn for snuggles,” he coaxes, as he gently lever’s Marinette off his side. It takes a minute before she’s detached enough that Nino can tip her into Alya’s side. The moment Marinette makes contact with Alya’s shoulder, she lets out a little sigh and burrows into Alya’s side.

Adrien grins at the pair of them, before his smile softens as he looks at Marinette. Alya suppresses a gleeful grin at his expression. He keeps looking at Marinette even as he addresses Alya. “I’ll lend her my notes, Alya. I’ll email them over after I get home.”

He turns back around as Nino takes his seat and Mme. Bustier claps to call everyone’s attention to the front of the classroom to start taking the roll.

______________________________________________________________________

The winter holidays started five days ago, and Alya is already missing her friends. It's really getting too cold to go out chasing akuma fights (loath as she is to concede), and the grey mornings light up streets edged by slush. According to the texts they've been sending each other, Marinette has barely left the house since school ended, because “its to coold to be outside, alyaa :(“ . She’s a bit worried about her bestie, honestly. Even Nino, who’s known her for years, says she never used to seem this sensitive to the cold weather.

Luckily, Alya has a cunning plan.

Her phone lights up with a bunch of texts from Nino

BF 🐢 : adrien-napping a success

BF 🐢 : operation Blanket Pile™ is a go!

BF 🐢 : just getting snacs, and we are on our way

BF 🐢 : adrien has the blankets

BF 🐢 : eta 10 💙

Alya smiles at her phone, then hefts her bag and starts walking towards Marinette’s.

Als ❤️ : omw jst laeving park nw will wait fr u outside side dorr maris parents kno were cming see u soon xo babe ❤️

It’s not long before she sees the pair approach from the direction of the lycée . Nino is bouncing along as he talks excitedly with Adrien, who has both his hands full managing a slightly teetering stack of blankets. As they approach, Alya stretches up on her toes to wave at them.

Nino grins as they join her at the door. Adrien, in contrast, offers a shy smile and hangs back a little, as though unsure of his welcome. She knows he’s been to see Marinette before, he has no reason to be shy about it, but Nino seems unconcerned, so Alya turns to open the door so they can all go inside.

The bakery is warm, and Alya can see Tom at the counter, gregarious and entertaining for the customers. Sabine is keeping an eye on the ovens from in the back as they pass, and Alya waves to her as their little group goes by. They have to take their shoes off at the top of the stairs, which almost causes an incident when Adrien tries to take off his shoes without first handing over his blanket burden. Luckily, his balance is as good as Marinette’s is bad, and he rights himself and his blanket stack without stacking it or dropping anything.

Nino leads the way to Marinette’s room and shouts up the stairs with glee.

“Marinette, dude!” he announces. “Can we come up? We have blankets!”

“And snacks!” Alya adds.

There’s a slight thump, which means Marinette probably just fell off of her desk chair again. Or maybe dropped a textbook. The trapdoor lifts and her head pokes over the edge of the hole at the top of the stairs. She’s braided her hair over one shoulder today, almost certainly because she didn’t expect visitors. The plait is falling apart a little, loose strands falling free and messy. She tucks some behind one ear as she grins at them, and Adrien lets out a small squeak from beside Alya at the gesture.

“What are you guys doing here?” Marinette exclaims.

“We have come to bury you in blankets!” Alya calls. “Also, we missed hanging out with you, girl.”

Marinette laughs. “I’ll never say no to blankets.” Even in the warmth of her room, she’s clearly wearing at least one jumper. “Come in!”

They all troop up the stairs, and Alya looks around the room, noticing that the blankets seem to be multiplying in here.

“Right. Let’s get this blanket party started,” she says, and Adrien and Nino set to building the ultimate blanket nest in the middle of the floor as she bounds up to Marinette and pulls her into a tight hug. Marinette lets out a slight squeak by her left ear, before sighing gently and melting into the hug.

“Mmm, you're so warm, Alya,” she mumbles.

Alya chuckles and leads her over to the blankets, Adrien and Nino already buried in the layers. “Mandatory friendship cuddles are even warmer.” she says, settling Marinette next to Adrien before plopping down next to her and swaddling blankets around them both.

It ends, as it sort of began, in a pile of blankets and the warmth of friendship and bakery ovens. Marinette falls asleep fairly soon after, her head buried Alya’s shoulder and her arm curled around Adrien. The rest of them talk the afternoon quietly away as snow starts to drift down outside. Alya tucks one arm around Nino and watches fondly as Adrien curls into Marinette.

It is, after all, a perfect afternoon.

FINIS

[deathbymeow]

For You, I’d Die. Chapter: 3. No Excuses

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, you need to get your ass up and get back to the land of the living.”

“Not. Ready.” Marinette mumbled from somewhere under her blankets.

Tikki floated down to Alya and Trixx. “She’s hardly left her bed. I’m worried about her Alya.” The little kwami looked deflated, her shoulders slumped, and her antennas drooped.

“It’s Ok Tikki, I’ve got this.” She winked at the red kwami as she rubbed her little cheek.

“You know I can still hear you both, right?” A disgruntled voice came from somewhere under the blankets.

Alya walked over to the bed. “Come on girl. It’s 5pm.” She stated, trying to pull the blankets off her best friend.

“So, what’s your point?” Marinette clung to the blankets for dear life. “I warn you, I’m basically naked.”

“I don’t care. I’ve seen it all before. It’s Friday come on, you promised.” Alya let go of the blankets and flopped down onto the chaise.

She watched the two kwamis settle into Tikki’s nest on Marinette’s messy desk. Marinette had taken her time to careful craft what looked like a mushroom for Tikki to laze about on. The top was red with white spots and was plush so the kwamis could snuggle into it. The stem had a hidden seam so the kwami’s could hide inside if needed. The inside had little cushions and blankets for the kwamis as well as cookies in case they needed to eat.

Marinette’s head popped out from under the blankets. “What did I promise?”

“You’re hopeless Mari. Nino is DJing at Wanderlust tonight. So, get your ass up and take a shower, pleeeease.” Alya tilted her head to the side and held her hands together like she was praying.

“I’m sorry Al. I’m… It’s…” Marinette sat up holding the blankets to her chest with one hand while picking at a thread on her doona with the other.

“I know Mari, I know. It’s been two weeks thought, you’re going to turn into a potato and the only thing they’re good for is making vodka.” Alya hated seeing Marinette like this. She wanted to make all the pain go away, but she knew it wasn’t that easy.

“He’s really gone Al. I didn’t say goodbye. He tried to call a few times, but I couldn’t answer.” Marinette didn’t think she could cry anymore. She knew she’d done the right thing but why did it still hurt?

“Oh girl, it’s going to get easier. For that to happen though, you need to start living again. What you’re doing is some form of self-torture.”

“I deserve it though Al. You should have seen how sad he looked. He proposed and I broke up with him.”

“I think all of Paris saw how sad he looked. His performance of that new song Someone you loved went global overnight.”

“Alya, that doesn’t help.” Marinette squeaked flopping back on to her bed and throwing the blankets back over her head. He’d sung the new song at his bands last concert, a week after she’d left him. She knew it was his way of coping, but it felt like he’d shared something very private for the world to see.

“Mari, from everything you told me, you did the right thing. You’d be miserable if you left Paris. I’d be miserable as well as a certain blonde super model and let’s not forget that stray cat of yours.” She said innocently knowing Mari was about to give her the reaction she was hoping for. Anything to get her out of bed.

A pillow flew at Alya’s head. She raised her hands just in time to save her face. “Hey, there’s that feisty girl I know and love.” Alya hugged the pillow as she watched a dishevelled Marinette appear again.

“That’s not funny Alya.” Marinette grumbled now fully sitting up and looking awake.

“Oh, it wasn’t meant to be. Both those golden-haired beauties are in love with you. Be honest with me though Mari, I know how you feel about Chat but what’s the go with Adrien? You know I’ve always shipped Adrienette.” Alya crossed her legs and lent forwards on the pillow, waiting for a red-faced Marinette to answer.

“I’m so screwed Alya. Maybe I should just join a convent.” Marinette covered her face with her hands and shook her head. “How can I love three, very, verrrry hot guys at once.”

“Well may I suggest a foursome or at least a threesome before you go to that convent. Would be such a shame to not tap all that hot ass.” Alya smiled wickedly at her rubbing her hands together.

Marinette burst out laughing. “Oh my god Alya, get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Just saying, imagine the stories you could tell the nuns. You can’t tell me they don’t read naughty stories. I’m sure they all have their own copies of fifty shades of grey.” Both girls fell into fits of giggles.

Marinette managed to stop laughing and rubbed her face. “Ok, Ok. Avert your eyes I’m getting up and it’s not a pretty sight.” Marinette threw the blankets off and stumbled down the ladder. “I need coffee.”

“I’ll make coffee, you shower then I’ll help you get ready.” Alya hugged her best friend, not bothered by her lack of clothes and messy appearance. She brushed Marinette’s dark hair out of her face and held her cheeks in her hands. “I promise you; you will be Ok.”

Marinette kissed Alya on the cheek and nodded before walking into the bathroom for a much-needed shower.

By 8pm the girls had managed to get ready, with lots of food and a few much-needed drinks. Alya had started with coffee and then moved onto making cocktails. Their kwamis had watched on, occasionally joining in on the conversation. Marinette hadn’t complained and as much as she hated to admit it, it had helped to lift her mood. There was nothing like spending time with her best friend, poring her heat out while eating baked goods and downing a few cocktails to lighten her heart.

“You my dear, look amazing. Scrap that you look fuckin hot.” Alya threw her hands down like she was some rapper before grabbing Marinette’s arm and twirling her around.

“You don’t think it’s too much? I mean I don’t want to stand out. I’m just going to support Nino.” Marinette looked in the mirror at her reflection. Her eye-make up was darker and her eyeliner slightly longer than she’d normally wear it. Alya had curled her normally straight hair giving it a wild unkept vibe.

She’d chosen to wear the choker Chat had given her for her eighteenth birthday. A simple black satin ribbon with a small gold bell that sat in the hollow of her neck. It wasn’t something she normally wore, mainly in case she ran into the civilian Chat but what were the chances right?

“No, no it’s perfect. You should wear black more often Mari. I bet if Chat was to see you, he’d have a brain malfunction or worse a nosebleed.” Alya couldn’t help but laugh at the face Marinette pulled. It was somewhere between smug with a hint of ‘oh shit’.

“Oh my god, all I need is cat ears and I’d look like a fan girl.” Marinette threw her hands up into the air, nearly knocking Alya’s drink out of her hands. “That’s it I’m not going.”

“Oh, stop being as dramatic as your silly cat boy. You know who else is going to be there?” Alya said checking her reflection out in the mirror.

“Who?” Marinette asked even though she knew full well who Alya was going to say.

“Adrien. He’s been asking about you. Said you hadn’t been returning his calls or text.” Alya held out her hand and examined her nails. “Care to elaborate?”

“Alya. You know why. I would never have cheated on Luka but being around Adrien… I can’t explain it. I’m such a shit person.” Marinette looked down at her feet, twisting her hands together.

“No Mari, you’re not. Your human. Maybe if Luka hadn’t gone away you guys wouldn’t have ended up drifting like you did or maybe you would have. That’s life, it sucks, and it hurts but you can’t stop feeling things or living your life. You’re a love bug. It’s what you do.” Alya gently lifted Marinette’s face to hers. She stared into her blue eyes knowing that Marinette wouldn’t want to except what she was saying.

“Alya…” Marinette started but Alya cut her off before she could interrupt.

“Don’t you dare Mari; you need to hear this. You deserve to be happy. You sacrifice enough. You didn’t hurt Luka on purpose. If you want to be with Adrien go for it. Maybe not tonight, but when you’re ready. Life is too short; we risk our lives every time we use our miraculous. You risk more than most of us. Just be happy, please.” Alya rubbed her best friends’ shoulders and smiled warmly at her.

“Wow… Alya I… I… shit I love you.” Marinette threw her arms around her best friend, unable to find her words.

Alya’s phone beeped. “Ok now that I’ve said that, let’s get out of here.” Alya grabbed Marinette’s hand and their bags. “You two cutie pies comin?” Alya asked the two smiling kwamis.

“Sure, thing you foxy lady.” Trixx replied, floating into Alya’s bag.

Tikki kissed Marinette’s cheek. “I love you Marinette. Alya is one hundred percent right, you deserve to be happy.” She floated over to Alya and kissed her cheek as well. “Thank you Alya. You are the very best.” Alya gently hugged the little kwami before she joined Trixx in her bag.

Once downstairs, they said goodbye to Sabine and Tom who looked happy to see their daughter out of bed.

“Bye Mama, Papa.” She kissed each other them on the cheek.

“You look beautiful, my dears. Have a good night and be safe.” Sabine said hugging her daughter.

“I’ll keep a close eye on her mama Sabine.” Alya hugged Sabine and Tom before Marinette pulled her out of the apartment.

They jumped into Alix’s car, giggling as a guy on a bike nearly ran into a pole after staring at the pair a little too long.

“Hey ladies, looking good. Ready for a wild night?” Alix asked smiling. Her Kwami Fluff sat on her lap nibbling on a carrot stick.

“You better believe it. Let’s make it a night to remember.” Alya declared, grinning ear to ear at Marinette.

*

The club was loud and filled with thick fog, produced from a machine that hung over the entrance. The guy on the door had let them straight in without Alya having to show her pass. His eyes had trailed up and down Marinette’s body a few to many times and Alya had wiggled her eyebrows at her. Marinette had nearly choked trying not to laugh, but when he’s asked for her number, she found it less amusing as he looked nearly twice her age.

“Sooo, what did Mr Muscles have to say for himself?” Alya asked once they had made their way to the bar.

“Eww so not funny, something about how he could show me what a real man was like now I’d dumped the blue haired punk.” Marinette clenched her fists together. “If he wasn’t the doorman, I’d have knocked him on his nasty ass.” Marinette was furious already and very grossed out. “I need a drink.”

“I’d have payed to see that. Bam! Take that you old perv.” Alix laughed as she punched her hand and low fived a hysterical Alya. “So, it’s true then Mari?” Alix’s amused expression turned serious.

“Yeah, it is.” Marinette answered looking down at her hands.

“Ok enough of that. Here girl get this into you.” Alya passed Marinette a shot glass filled with god knows what. It smelt strongly of tequila but was blue in colour.

Marinette scrunched her nose up, shrugged her shoulders and downed the shot in one go. It burnt her throat as it went down, leaving a warm sensation in her belly.

“Good girl.” Alya laughed, downing hers with Alix before passing them a cocktail each. She pulled the girls back into the crowd. “Adrien got us the VIP lounge upstairs.” She yelled leading them to the impressive stone staircase.

The VIP lounge had a more intimate setting. Three round tables with curved navy-blue velvet lounges were scattered around the space with a dance floor in the middle. A small bar with their own bartender was in the far corner and on the right, a floor to ceiling glass wall gave a perfect view of the stage and dance floor below.

Nino greeted the girls with hugs. Alix waved at Max and bounded over to him. The private space was filled with their friends, Marinette new most of them except a few.

“Hey baby. You made it just in time. You lookin damn fine.” Nino grabbed Alya by the waist and started to dance with his fiancé. He buried his face into her neck making her laugh and slap his shoulder. No doubt at something X-rated he’d said into her ear.

Nino let go of Alya and grabbed Marinette for a second hug, then spun her around. “Hey M, you lookin good too. I’m so happy you made it. How you doin?”

Nino was like a brother to Marinette. He’d always been there when she needed him. Now he was the guardian, he’d taken on an even bigger role in her life. He’d trained under master Fu for years before master Fu had retired leaving the miraculous box to him. Nino knew all the identities of the holders. Some knew each-others like Alya, Alix and Marinette but for some reason Marinette hadn’t felt like it was safe to tell Chat. Maybe because if she knew the man behind the mask, she wouldn’t be able to hold her feelings back any longer.

“I’m Ok, Nino. When you up?” Marinette was quick to change the subject; she didn’t feel like breaking down in front of everyone in the middle of one of Paris’ hottest night clubs.

“Oh shit. I gotta go.” He kissed her cheek then grabbed Alya and planted a sloppy kiss on her lips then dashed off.

“Finish that drink. We have some serious dancing to do.” Alya demanded as she dragged Marinette to the dance floor.

Chapter: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7

[jeremichal-archive]

and if you weren't him, would that be such a bad thing

honestly, i just missed writing for my boys and i had to live up to my username, so here’s some good old angsty jeremichael. i hope y’all enjoy & don’t forget to let me know what you think! 

WARNINGS: Swearing PAIRING: Jeremichael, past Raychael

Michael hates him in the exact same way he hates Ray.

No note. No warning. A missing car and an empty apartment. It’s two years ago all over again, and Michael can’t help but wonder if it’s his fault; if he’s the problem. Once is just shit luck, but twice means Michael’s just made to be left behind.

He made a mistake with Ray. That much he knows. He didn’t chase, didn’t see the need to when he was so fucking sure he’d come back. Blind faith; blind hope - all it got him was heartbreak and an after-thought message from Barbara saying that Ray’s new girlfriend is “super amazing, Michael. You need to meet her!”

So yeah, this time, Michael does everything he can. He calls his mobile; disconnected. He calls his burner phone; abandoned. He asks Gavin to track him; gone. He sends out a message to everyone in Los Santos and prays for something back.

Find Rimmy Tim, and bring him back alive.

&&&

It’s three days after, when Jack asks, “Maybe he got himself into trouble?” As if Jeremy’s a cat stuck up a tree.

“And he left to protect us?” Gavin adds, and Michael desperately hopes that he doesn’t crack a molar from the way he’s clenching his jaw so fucking hard.

Ryan leans across the kitchen table. His mask is off, but then again, his face paint does a good enough job replacing the loss. “It’s possible,” he hums and Michael’s pushing himself out of his chair before he realises it. The legs scrape against the hardwood floor - a sound not unlike nails down a chalkboard - and four sets of eyes snap to him.

Afterwards, he’ll regret not just keeping his mouth shut. But in the moment, the words tumble out before he can stop them.

“You’re all fucking idiots if you think he cared about us for even one damn second.”

&&&

His old apartment smells like Ray.

It’s why he sleeps at the penthouse. It’s why he still pays its rent. It’s why he hasn’t set foot in the place in about a year.

The last time he was there, he wasn’t alone. Now, the thought just makes him feel sick.

“You sure I should be here, Michael?”

“You don’t have to stay.”

“But you want me too…?”

Jeremy looks so much smaller than normal, hovering uncertainly just outside the doorway. Michael stares back at him, wishing he could tell what was going on inside his head.

“You’re not his replacement, you know,” he mutters, just in case, and Jeremy rears back as if he’s been hit. “You smell nothing like him, for one.”

“Oh…”

His old apartment smells like Ray. The penthouse smells like Jeremy. Michael just can’t seem to catch a fucking break.

&&&

Five days after, it’s obvious that Geoff picks the short straw, mainly because he shoulders his way into Michael’s room at 5 pm. His suit jacket is off, and the top three buttons of his shirt are popped, but he’s still everything that Michael looks up too.

“You’re taking this the hardest, aren’t you Michael.”

“And what, you’re not?” he hisses back, tucking his legs back up and under his blankets. If Geoff thought to look hard enough, he’d see Jeremy’s stupid purple and orange doona peaking out; but either he doesn’t see it, or he lets Michael have this one because he doesn’t comment.

“We are, Michael. Of course, we are… but it’s just- I’ve seen you like this before-”

“Shut up,” he growls. The air around them crackles and Geoff levels him with a look full of pity. “Get the fuck out of my room, Geoff.”

He does, but not without hitting him where it hurts the most. “He’s coming back. We’ll get him back, Michael. It’ll be different this time,” and Michael hates the hope that blossoms in his chest.

&&&

Michael’s smart enough to know that it won’t work, but the pathetic side of him? Well, it’s desperate enough to demand that he still tries. So he puts in the number. He hits call.

It rings.

It rings.

It rings.

Someone picks up.

There’s a moment where he’s stuck in limbo. Sat outside on the pier, head tipped back to face the sun with his phone clutched between his fingers. He pretends it’s both of them, or that it’s neither of them, waiting for him to speak first. Schrodinger’s phone call.

“Where are you?” he asks, because he’s desperate and tired, and so fucking alone. He’s still got Gavin and the others - but they were both something so different, something else and Michael misses them so fucking desperately.

No one answers, but Michael can hear the steady sound of breathing on the other side.

“Are you safe?” he whispers, because he’d throw himself into the damn ocean right now if it meant Jeremy would come back. If it meant Ray would call him. If it meant he wouldn’t have to keep losing the people he loves.

There’s no answer again, and something inside him snaps a little bit. He clenches his hands into fists by his sides, pressing them down against the old wooden pier.

“Did I do something wrong?” he pleads, because once is just shit luck, but twice means there’s something wrong with him, there’s something wrong with him, there's something fucking wrong with him-

“No,” Jeremy whispers and Michael slumps back, feeling his head collide with the hard floor at the same time the line goes dead.

&&&

Seven days after, Michael wonders how he managed to survive the first time.

Ray leaves in Spring and it’s sometime around Autumn when it finally sinks in. He’s not coming back. Ray’s not coming back tomorrow, today or in three weeks time. Ray’s gone, and so are all the promises he made.

“You want to get married one day?”

“No.”

“... Not even if it was to me?”

Ray glances at him over the top of his DS and his eyes look pitch black without the screen illuminating them. Michael does his best to hold a straight face because laughing would give Ray the opportunity to take his words as a joke and he doesn’t want that.

“If we’re not dead by the time we’re thirty, then sure.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me.”

It would be funny, something that he could look back on and joke about with Gavin or even Jack, if it weren’t for the ring he’d purchased, buried in the back of his closet once upon a time ago.  

&&&

In a way, Michael hates Gavin too.

It wouldn’t be hard to add him to the list - the godforsaken list of damaged people that Michael loves - but then again, ignorance is bliss and Michael would rather just keep pretending.

At least this way, when Gavin shows up to the penthouse covered in lipstick marks and that goddamn lovestruck smile on his face, he can pretend it doesn’t hurt. When Gavin asks him if he wants to get bevs, only for Lindsay and Meg to be there when he shows up, Michael can pretend he’s not jealous.

Because Gavin was almost a mistake; he was almost a mistake in the same way Ray was. The same was Jeremy currently is. A habit he can’t seem to break, falling for someone who doesn’t have the emotional capacity to love him back.

It his own brand of torture, one more effective than anything Ryan could ever think to dream up himself.

&&&

Two weeks after, Michael gives up.

It’s three am when he crawls under Jeremy’s empty bed sheets, pulling them up and around him - suffocating himself in Jeremy’s scent. It’s three am when he shoves his face into Jeremy’s purple pillow, letting his tears turn the colours more black than purple. It’s three am when Michael loses all hope that Jeremy will ever come back.

It’s like losing a part of himself. A perfect 5”4 hole. Open, raw and destroying him from the inside out.

But.

But.

It hurt so much more this time.

Why does it hurt so much more this time?

Ray’s hurt. Ray’s still fucking hurts. His best friend left him. His best friend up and fucking left him, with no warning, two days after Michael took a bullet to his shoulder. There was nothing, no explanation, no apology. It was just Michael, a few empty promises and a cheap kiss that didn’t mean as much as he thought it fucking did.

But Jeremy’s? Jeremy’s fucking kills. Jeremy’s tears him apart. There was something there; he was so sure of it. It was an almost. An almost lover, and almost boyfriend. A person Michael thought he could trust. A person Michael told everything. From the reason why he keeps his old apartment, to the fucking ring he brought six weeks after Ray made that promise. He was almost everything he needed, but then he fucking left.

So Michael gives up. Jeremy’s not coming back. Ray’s not coming back.

Maybe he’s just built to be left behind.

&&&

He gets a text message from a burner phone. Gavin tracks it for him and he learns very little, but it’s enough. Purchased in Austin, Texas; paid for in cash.

Can we meet?

Impulse makes him want to text back ‘no’, but he doesn’t. He just stares at it, as the rest of his crew stare at him. No one dares to interrupt the silence that’s settled around them, but Michael wishes they would. The kitchen’s never been so eerily silent before and it makes him uneasy.

Geoff puts a hand over his hand; Michael manages not to flinch. “You don’t have to go. We can send someone else, if it- if it’s too much.”

“It might not be him…” Ryan mutters and Michael can hear how much it hurts him to say that. He knows they’re all hurting too. Being apart of the crew means being apart of a family, so Jeremy leaving hits deep in all of them.

He stares back down at the phone. There’s a slightly visible tremble to his hands that he doesn’t bother trying to hide. “I gotta try,” he whispers and Geoff slowly pulls his hand back, “doesn’t matter how small the odds are, I gotta see if it’s him.”

Where?

&&&

His apartment, ironically enough, sits on Innocence Boulevard. It’s a four-story building, with one dodgy fire escape and a back alleyway that Michael absolutely hates.

It’s the last place he broke something, his fist after punching the fucking brick wall. It’s where he and Ray kissed for the first time. It’s where he had to explain to Jeremy that his place in the crew? it wasn’t merely temporary. Bad things happen in that alleyway, which is exactly why he sits on the front steps of his building and waits for Jeremy, an ambush, whoever’s coming to meet him there.

At five to three, Michael stands. There’s a slight tremor to his whole being, but it makes itself known the most in his legs. They shake, and it’s enough to force him to lean against the wall.

At five past three, a car pulls up at the curb. Michael knows that car. He’s ran heists in that car. He’s joy ridden in that car. He’s crashed that godforsaken fucking car before. He’s the reason why the back bumper is black and not orange. He’s the reason it has a stain on the back seat.

And he’s never been happier to see that stupid fucking car.

At least… he was, up until the moment two bodies climb out of it and Michael’s heart stops beating.

&&&

Jeremy makes the first move.

He approaches the steps slowly, like he’s approaching a wild animal ready to run, and Michael doesn’t blame him. Especially since he’s got one hand on the door handle and the other out in front of him, trying to tell the world to stop.

“Just… give it ten minutes?” he whispers, coming to a stop on the bottom step. Michael stares at him. It’s only been two and a half weeks since he saw him last, but God, it’s felt like years. He looks the same, but somehow entirely different and Michael realises it's because of the look in his eyes.

Fear, apprehension, insecurity and a little bit of guilt. It’s like he’s just joined the crew all over again and Michael hates it. He opens his mouth, ready to say something, but the words die on his tongue. It doesn't help that Jeremy’s already stepping back, making room for Ray, who's stuck hovering awkwardly by the car.

Neither of them makes a move. It's a stalemate. Both of them not quite sure where they stand with the other.

“You flew all the way out here with me, Ray,” Jeremy mutters in the end, cutting through the tension in a way only he could, “and I know you didn’t do it just to stand on the sidewalk the whole time.”

Ray turns his gaze to Jeremy.

“Maybe not,” he mutters, “but it would be a hell of a lot more easier if I did.”

&&&

The second the door swings shut behind Ray, Michael’s moving towards the kitchen. He doesn’t care if Ray follows. He doesn’t care if turns around and walks right back out onto the street. All Michael cares about is dousing the fire that’s ignited inside him with alcohol. It’ll make things worse, he knows, but he can’t fucking find it in himself to care.

He pours himself a glass of whiskey and downs it in one swallow. Ray makes a face. Michael pours himself another.

“So Jeremy left, to go get you,” he hisses, sipping it this time. The alcohol does a good job of masking Ray’s scent; both the one that lingers in his apartment and the entirely different one that belongs to him now.

“He told me that you needed- you needed me.”

“He lied. You can leave. Sorry for wasting your time.”

“Michael.”

Something catches inside him, and the burning in his veins turns into a full-blown forest fire. “You don’t get to ‘Michael’ me,” he hisses, spinning around to meet Ray head on, “you left. You fucking left. No note! No reason! You left me all alone and I-” his voice cracks. Ray looks guilty, for what Michael guesses must be the first time in his entire life.

“I didn’t think you’d take it this hard...”

He sets the glass down just a little bit too hard, and the sound resonates through the room. Sharp and obnoxious, just like the anger inside of him. His face feels hot, and it’s either the anger or the alcohol that’s staining his cheeks red.

“Don’t lie to me. You knew exactly what would happen, how I’d feel.” He leans his hip against the counter. “You aren’t stupid Ray, but you are selfish and cruel. I always pretended you weren’t, but we both know who you are and what you’re capable of.”

It only takes a second for Ray’s posture to change and Michael watches him snap upright. He picks at the fabric of the couch lazily, from where he’s balanced on the arm precariously. “We were killing each other-”

“Try again.”

Ray sighs. “Okay. You were killing me. You expected so much from me Michael. You wanted so much. You wanted a happy family, you wanted a boyfriend and a husband and the whole shebang. I couldn’t give you that and I knew you wouldn’t take no for an answer.”

“You think I would have forced you to be with me?” he asks, frowning slightly. The anger drains out of him slowly, and then all that’s left is that all too familiar hollow feeling.  

“No, not in the way you’re thinking,” he mutters, looking up at Michael, “you wouldn’t have made me be with you, but you would have made me stay with you, Michael. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t stay- I couldn’t-”

“Yeah. I can see that now.”

&&&

He tells Ray to send Jeremy up and in after him and pointedly ignores the look that flashes in his eyes. He waits for him on the couch at first, but the nerves get to him and he ends up pacing around the apartment. When the door opens, he’s halfway to pouring himself another glass of whiskey, just to do something with his fucking hands.

Jeremy hovers in the doorway again and deja vu washes over him. He stops. Jeremy licks his lips. Neither of them move.

“You-” he tries, but the words fail and Michael has to look away to keep himself from crying. He sucks in a deep breath, staring at the tattered wallpaper while he pretends he’s alight.

“You left-”

“-I-I was coming back!” Jeremy interjects and Michael holds up a hand.

“You left… to go find Ray… for me?” he finishes. Jeremy slowly nods and Michael takes one step forward. “Why?”

“You brought a ring for him, Michael. You’re in love with him. I was just trying- I wanted-” he looks away, gazing dropping to the floor like he’s waiting to be scolded. Michael swallows around the lump in his throat.

“You could have told me…”

“And what?” Jeremy replies, shrugging slightly, “leave you disappointed when I inevitably failed? Have you tell me not to stick my damn nose in places where it doesn’t fucking belong? I didn't know if-” he stops. Michael takes another step forward. It’s a year ago all over again, but this time Michael’s more prepared.

“You didn’t know what?” he asks, sucking in a breath and holding it. Jeremy shuffles on the spot, looking anywhere but him.

“I didn’t know if I was allowed-” he sneaks a glance a Michael- “no, I mean- I didn’t want to- Michael, you have to understand,” he pleads. He runs a hand over his head and Michael can see the red scratches he leaves behind in wake of his fingernails. “I just didn’t want to overstep any boundaries, and I know I should have asked, but- but you were just so- and I wanted to help! And- and- I’m so fucking sorry,” he babbles, his breath coming out in quick huffs.

“I messed this up, didn’t I?” he whispers, like it’s a secret. Like it’s the end of the world. Like he’s just realised what he’s done. “I shouldn’t have tried to- I just wanted to- I thought it would work. Fucking hell, fuck, fuck!”

He makes the move to do it again, ready to drag his nails across the top of his head and Michael can tell it’s going to draw blood this time. He wants to stop him, wants to stop Jeremy from hurting himself.

So he does.

He reaches out and catches Jeremy’s wrists, holding them down gently. Jeremy instantly freezes, and whether it’s from the touch or the proximity, Michael doesn’t know.

“You’re not his replacement, you know,” he whispers and Jeremy squeezes his eyes shut, face scrunching up. It’s a tell and one that screams to Michael that he’s hit Jeremy so close to home. “I know you think you are, and I’m honestly terrified that you still believe that if Ray comes back, we’ll get rid of you… but we won’t.”

“Michael…”

“Listen to me,” he pleads, squeezing Jeremy’s wrists and waiting for him to open his eyes first before continuing. “Yeah, I brought him a ring. And yeah, I was gonna ask him to marry me. But Jeremy, three days after I told you about it, I realised I didn’t need it anymore and I threw that fucking thing off the pier. Do you know why?” he asks. Jeremy stares back at him with wide eyes as he shakes his head, and Michael licks his lips slowly.

“Cause of you.”

“What? I- I don’t-”

“I- I know I loved him, and maybe I still do-” Jeremy flinches- “but not in the same anymore. He’s different and I'm different, and it doesn't matter how many times you bring him back for me, he’s still going to leave again. The thing is, yeah it hurt like hell when he left, but Jeremy, it felt so much fucking worse when you did.”

He lets the words sink in. He waits for Jeremy to react, but all he does is stare down at Michael’s hands, eyebrows furrowed. “I didn’t think you’d…” he mumbles, words trailing off.

“What?” he whispers back, “notice? Care? Of course, I care, Jeremy. Of course, I fucking care about you…”

He waits for a moment. Jeremy’s chest rises and falls in quick succession and Michael runs his hands up Jeremy’s arms, settling just below the elbow. “I don’t want to do this wrong again,” he continues, “I don’t want to make the same mistakes twice, so if I’m being too much or if I’m ‘killing you’ then please tell me-”

“You’re not,” Jeremy hisses, head instantly snapping up, “you couldn’t.”

He lets out a harsh breath. “You’re not his replacement,” he says again, and Jeremy sways on his feet, gravitating ever so slightly to Michael. “You smell nothing like him, for one.”

“And that's a good thing?” Jeremy asks, and the look on his face is so open and vulnerable that Michael feels his heart skip a beat.

“Yeah, it is,” he mumbles, and then he’s surging forward to kiss him and Jeremy happily meets him halfway.

&&&

Michael wakes up with a body lying along the length of his, and a face pressed into the crook of his neck.

He doesn’t dare move.

It’s much nicer just to enjoy the moment. The way Jeremy’s breath skitters across his skin. The way he can feel the other man’s heart beating steadily against his. There’s no worry that he’ll wake up to an empty room. There’s no threat of heartbreak when he’s got Jeremy right there, sapping his warmth from his body like the thief he is.

He lets his hand move slowly, tracing the length of Jeremy’s spine; following along all the bumps and dips. It’s only when he moves in to kiss the shell of Jeremy’s ear that he gets a reaction.

“Go back to sleep,” Jeremy slurs and Michael laughs softly.

“What time is it?” he questions, turning his gaze towards the window. Light seeps through the gaps in the curtains, but it’s not enough for Michael to believe it’s time to get up. Plus, even if it was, he wouldn’t dare disturb Jeremy. He waits for a reply, and when it doesn’t come, he slides his hand down Jeremy’s side to rest on his hip. The gentle lulling of Jeremy’s breathing makes him close his eyes, and it's hard not to give into Jeremy’s advice.

Before he completely goes under though, he presses his nose into Jeremy’s neck and breathes in.

He smells like apples and gunpowder. Michael loves it.

[marvelous-heroimagines]

Rags

Requested by: Anonymous (Here are the specifics)

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Word Count: 1.2K Warnings: Period talk, fluff

A/N: I wasn’t sure if this was exactly a request, but I laughed at the ask and couldn’t resist writing a oneshot about it!

A sharp stabbing pain in your lower abdomen jerks you from sleep. Before you can let out a low groan of pain, a high pitched shriek pierces your ears, emanating from behind you. Snapping your head around, you see your boyfriend staring at your bed sheets in horror.

“Buck?” you say, wondering what was so horrifying it made him scream like a school child,

“Oh god, doll,” Bucky’s head snaps up and his eyes meet yours. In the blink of an eye he’s navigated his way around the bed and is kneeling in front of you, “Oh god, what happened?”

Your brows knit together in confusion as you watch him extend and retract his hand from your body, like he wanted to touch you but was scared to, “What’re you-?”

“Where are you hurt?” he almost shouts. He rips back the doona, and the cold morning air hits you like a blizzard. You involuntarily hiss, caught off guard by the cool air on your mostly exposed skin, “Oh god,” Bucky breathes out, looking horrified.

You follow his eyes, still confused why he was acting like you were dying, and it finally makes sense when you see the large, red stain that had turned your white sheets into a Japanese flag.

“Uh,” you groan out and throw your head back against the pillow, “Great,” your voice dripping in sarcasm,

“Oh god, fuck,” Bucky whispers to himself. He pulls up your tank top and runs his metal hand over your stomach, making goosebumps rise in its place, “I can’t see any wounds,”

“What are you doing?” you finally ask, watching him with a frown,

“Doll, where are you hurt? Why are you bleeding?” he demands. His eyes meet yours and it looks like his world is crashing down around him,

“Babe, I’m just early, it’s okay,” you reassure him, “It’s just sheets, I’ll wash them,”

“What are you talking about?” Bucky frantically asks, his eyebrows raised so high they almost disappear behind his long hair,

“...My period?” you drawl out, unsure if he was kidding or really had no idea what you were talking about,

“You’re what?” he asks, his voice rising a few octaves,

“Are you kidding?” you narrow your eyes at him, trying to read his face. He only shakes his head, “My period, time of the month, rags, Aunty flow...”

“Doll, you’re not making any sense,” Bucky looks at you as if you’ve gone insane,

“Buck...” you all but whisper, “Are you telling me you have no idea about female menstruation?”

“What does this have to do with the bed being covered in blood,” he asks, dumbfounded,

“Oh. My. God,” you slowly say, not believing your ears. Sure most guys didn’t really like talking or thinking about women’s periods, but you’d never met one that had no idea what it was, “Okay, sit down. I’m about to school you on women,”

Bucky doesn’t move, only frowning at you. After a few moments of silence, he finally shifts from your side, and you follow him out into your suite’s lounge room.

“Wait here,” you order, dashing to the ensuite so that you could change and get a tampon.

When you return, Bucky is sitting on the couch, staring straight forward at nothing in particular, “Alright, you ready?”

Bucky gives you a small, timid nod. It takes you a moment to fight off a laugh, you’d never seen Bucky so scared, not even when faced with 2 dozen Hydra agents.

Once you’d finish informing your boyfriend of the marvel that is the female body, a silence had fallen over the two of you for more than 10 minutes. Bucky looks as though he’s working through an impossibly math problem.

“So...” he finally speaks, “For a whole week, every month, for the rest of your life, you’re constantly bleeding out of your vagina?”

“Well, everyone woman is different. Periods can last between 3-7 days, and they’ll stop around 40 or 50... But yeah,”

“Badass,” he whispers, probably to himself. You let out a burst of laughter as he looks at you with an impressed expression, “Like that is so hardcore. You’re in pain and bleeding but you’re expected to continue your life. I’d just give up and sleep for a week,”

You’re laughter increases, and you instantly regret it. This month seemed to be a heavy one. Your face falls as you feel blood seep out.

“What is it?” Bucky starts to worry,

“I need a tampon,” you groan, “But I don’t have any left. I have to go to the shops,”

“I’ll go!” Bucky immediately volunteers,

“What? No you don’t need to do that,” you say with disbelief,

“I want to,” he jumps up and plants a quick kiss on your forehead before running off. You don’t even have time to tell him about the different types of tampons before he’s disappeared.

~~Bucky’s POV~~

Bucky chews on his bottom lip as his eyes scan back and forth along the ‘lady sanitary’ items. He had no idea what he was looking for. ‘Why are their different sizes?’ he thinks. Pulling out his phone, Bucky dials the first person in his contacts.

“Hey pal,” Steve says as soon as the call connects,

“Hey punk,” Bucky says quickly, “What’s with tampon sizes?”

Bucky can hear Steve choke on something, probably his morning coffee, “W-What?” Steve splutters,

“There’s mini, regular and super,” Bucky explains, keeping his voice low, “How do I know what size Y/N needs?”

“Dude, why did you call me about tampons for your girlfriend?” Steve chastises him,

“Because I’m trying to be a good boyfriend, and I forgot to ask before I left... Well, I didn’t know there were different sizes to be honest,” Bucky explains,

“I can’t help you, Buck,” Steve sighs out, “Wait... Wanda wants to talk to you,”

“Hello Bucky,” Wanda’s accented voice sounds through the phone, “I think I can help,”

“Oh bless you Wanda,” Bucky breathes out, relieved, “What do I get?”

“Okay, listen carefully,” Bucky holds his breath, waiting for Wanda’s wisdom, “Y/N usually gets regular size, but if it’s her first day get super as well just in case. The brand doesn’t matter,”

“Okay,” Bucky nods. He props the phone between his metal shoulder and ear as he reaches for the cheapest brand, “Thanks-”

“I’m not done,” she interrupts, “You need to also get chocolate, ice cream and pain killers,”

“O-Okay,” Bucky stammers, remembering that you’d told him about the cramps and cravings that came very month.

“Is that all?” Bucky tentatively asks after a few seconds of silence on the phone,

“Yes,” he can practically her the smile in her voice, “You’re welcome,” she says before he even has the chance to thank her, and hangs up.

Bucky quickly grabs painkillers and your favourite chocolates and ice cream before rushing back home.

~~Reader’s POV~~

“Oh thank god,” you breathe out when Bucky busts through your suite front door, “Babe I forgot to tell you to get-”

Bucky holds up a bag full of the essentials. You make an immediate grab for the painkillers and throw them back with some water as quick as you can manage.

“Have I told you that I love you lately?” you ask, breathing a sigh of relief, “Because I do,”

“I still can’t believe how much of a badass women are,” Bucky says, a playful smile on his lips, “You most of all,”

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