#I know I’ve tagged this lyric in several of my recent posts but here it is again because it’s so fitting

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[sluttyten]

You In My Arms

Chapter 7: An Eye For An Eye

full masterlist || haechan masterlist || YIMA chapter index

summary: now that the truth is out in the open, you find it harder than ever to keep yourself from wanting Haechan constantly. But at least now you know that he wants you just as much.

length: 9,317 words

tags: voyeurism, exhibitionism, slowburn, friends to lovers, masturbation, public sex, fingering, general perversion, smut

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Waking the next morning, you stare up at the ceiling for a good long while. Remembering yesterday, remembering last night. 

You got the truth from Haechan. You shared secrets. 

He kissed you. 

And still, you feel giddy about it, like a young girl with her first kiss. 

Haechan kissed you. 

You kissed him. 

You cover your face with your hands to muffle the excited sound that spills from your lips. 

What happens now?

You go through your day as normal. You clean the apartment, you and your roommate make a grocery run in the mid-afternoon, and then as the day creeps towards evening, your thoughts start to turn and focus exclusively on Haechan. Thinking of what you’d said to him before he first kissed you. An eye for an eye; a truth for a truth. You want equality, which means he’s watched you, so you want to watch him. Properly watch him instead of just from a distance in the dark, though you didn’t share that particular truth with him last night. 

Your roommate leaves for the night to go on a date with her partner and then stay at their place. Which leaves you to fend for yourself for the night. Before she got into this relationship, the two of you spent many Friday and Saturday nights together here in the living room, bundled up in blankets with takeout from a variety of your favorite places. But tonight you either have to decide on a place for yourself, or you can throw together dinner from what you’d bought earlier at the grocery store. 

Unsure what you really want, you just play around on your phone until your brain and your stomach can come to an agreement on what to eat. 

You scroll on Twitter for a little while, get lost down a TikTok rabbit hole until the sky outside is dark and the time staring back at you reads quarter after nine. You switch to Instagram, and right there at the top of your screen it shows that one haechanahceah has added to his story. 

You tap on it. 

He’s holding his phone close to his face as he laughs, the blue sky of twilight barely visible behind him along with a flash of YangYang’s face and toothy smile. The sound of wind rushes against the microphone. The camera flips and you see a skateboard under his feet, pavement rushing by, and then a path stretching out along the river. 

The next part to his story: pictures of food covering a table. Haechan tagged several other people, though YangYang and Ten’s are the only usernames that you recognize from them. 

Drinks. Everyone clinking their glasses together. 

And then the most recent addition to his story is just a simple picture of the moon shining like a fat pearl in the velvet night sky. There’s a song playing, lyrics scrolling over the image of the moon, and it’s a song of neediness, desire, longing. 

It was posted five minutes ago. 

And just as you’re about to close out of the app and order yourself some dinner, your phone chimes with a message. 

“Are you doing anything right now?” From Haechan. 

When you don’t answer immediately, you receive a second message from him. “I saw that you just watched my story. Don’t pretend like you’re not on your phone.”

You call him. 

He answers immediately. 

Judging by the lack of wind, you assume he’s not outside any longer. And furthermore, the silence in the background makes you think he might not even be with the others anymore. 

“Hello?” He says, a little breathlessly. 

“What did you want?” 

Silence, then a slight rustling sound. Then, “I was just wondering if you were free or if you’re busy. I’ve been out with some guys all day, I just got home, and I want to send you something.”

“Oh?” You cradle your phone against your face. “Like what?”

“How was it that you phrased it yesterday?” Haechan pauses, as if thinking, then says, “Oh, right. You said you want equality. You want to watch me, since I’ve watched you.”

Your heart thuds in your chest, sending pulsing heat to your extremities. “Haechan….”

“So let me ask again,” his voice dips lower, asking, “Are you doing anything right now? Can I send you something?”

All thoughts of dinner have been removed from your mind. The only hunger you feel now is for what Haechan is offering you through the phone. 

“I’m not doing anything.” You hope your voice isn’t shaking, that you don’t sound nervous or over-excited. “Send it.”

He laughs a little under his breath, and you know that you failed at sounding so cavalier. The eagerness and hunger bled through in your voice. 

“Alright, I’m hanging up now.” Haechan’s own voice is light with amusement and excitement. “I’ll send it shortly.”

After the call goes dead on his end of the line, you sit there, clutching your phone in your hands, perched on the edge of the sofa. You wonder if you should order food, if you should just try to eat something. It’s late. If you’re going to eat tonight, you’d better do it now before you get so swept up that you forget to eat altogether. And where do you want to watch this video at? Do you want to just watch it out here? Or should you close yourself away in the privacy of your bedroom, snug in your bed to witness exactly what you’ve been longing to see for so long now?

You think back to the night that started all of this interest in watching and being watched. The night of the hot tub. The first time that you felt there could genuinely be a little something more than just friendship between you and Haechan as you shared that bed with him. You remember longingly noticing the bulge in the front of his shorts when he’d emerged from the hot tub’s water, and you remember about an hour later when he’d stripped beside you in the dark. It had been quite dark, but not dark enough that you hadn’t caught the barest glimpse of his ass and just the shadowy hint of his cock. 

But now? Now your curiosity will be satisfied. 

You snack on something you pull from the pantry, waiting and waiting and waiting. After twenty minutes, you send him a text with a bunch of question marks. 

“Patience baby” is all you get back from Haechan. 

But the thing is, you’re feeling rather impatient. You’re horny now, excited thinking about getting to watch him. You do move to your bedroom, closing the door, turning the lights down, tucking yourself in with your phone held to your chest. You’re going to enjoy this. 

Finally after too fucking long, your phone chimes again. 

When you open the message, the rectangle of the video is just black. 

You tap play, and it fills your screen, still black. 

For a moment, you think something’s wrong with the video, but then you hear sound. The rustle of sheets. A shuddering breath. Something moving in the dark, which you realize a moment later is the shadow of some part of Haechan’s body against the faint light of his computer’s blinking power button. 

What is this? You wanted to see him, not just hear him. 

And then the video is illuminated as his bedside lamp is clicked on. The phone camera passes over rumpled sheets. There’s a flicker of tanned skin, the curve of his bare thigh. You hold your breath as at last the camera focuses on the fit of his fingers around his dick. 

It’s pretty and tan, just like the rest of him. 

His cock is actually bigger than you imagined it would be. You figured Haechan would be a little below average in terms of size, if you’re being honest, but the cock you’re looking at on your phone screen exceeds your expectations. He’s probably average in length, but damn, he’s thick from base to the tip, which is a pretty shade of pink that reminds you of his lips. He’s got a perfect cock, in your opinion. Right away, you want him in your mouth, your throat aches for it. 

And then you just sit back and watch the video, admiring the way he touches himself, the sounds he makes, the way that as he gets close to orgasm his hips twitch off the bed to rock into the circle of his fingers. You drink everything in, hungrily consuming the video to notice all the small details. The small scattering of moles across his belly and thighs and his arm and hand. The dusting of hair leading from below his navel to the base of his cock. 

You’ve been with a decent amount of men. You’ve seen cocks, touched them, tasted them, had them inside you. But you’ve never had Haechan’s, and the longer you sit here watching, the more that you feel like this video is just a cruel tease. 

Is that how he felt while watching the video feed of you masturbating in the office? Like it was just a cruel tease of what he couldn’t have?

Haechan moans your name in the video and your belly goes tight and hot at the sound, a whined praise from his lips.

How long would it take you to get to his apartment right now?

His hand flies over his length in the video, his moans like music to your ears. “Oh, fuck,” he grunts, “Baby, bet your pussy would be so tight around me right now, so wet and slippery. I know you get super wet. Are you wet right now?”

Fuck. Yeah, you are. You’re not touching yourself though, too caught up in simply watching him to want to take away from it. But your core is throbbing with heat, panties soaked through. 

“You’d be taking my cock so well, angel.” Haechan gives one sharp thrust into his hand, his heels digging into the mattress as his hips lift off the bed. “Do you think you’d be a good girl for me? Do whatever I ask? Would you get on your knees and beg for me?”

If you were there right now, you certainly would be on your knees, mouth open wide, tongue out for his cock. You would let Haechan make such a mess of you. You would let him cum on your tits and your throat in public, and you would proudly wear that pearl necklace like a prize.

“Or would I need to punish you? You’ve shown me how naughty you can be.” He moans, passing his thumb right over the weeping slit of his cock. “What would even be a good punishment for you? Taking you out in public, teasing you, but not letting you cum? Sit you on my cock in front of all of our friends, tease you nice and slow while you keep my cock warm. But, no, you would enjoy that too much, wouldn’t you? What if I didn’t allow you to cum? Would that be punishment enough? I’d have to take you home, angel, edge you for as many times as you nearly gave us away.”

Your toes curl at the sound of his words, and you feel your pussy clench around nothing. You can’t take it anymore. 

You slip your fingers inside your panties, dipping them through your wetness. 

Haechan moans again, and your entire body buzzes and flares with heat in response. 

“I’ve never really done anything in public before, not quite like you,” Haechan says, still fisting his cock. “Only ever when I’m tucked out of sight, in semi-privacy, or after dark.” His hand holding his phone shakes, his breath shudders. “But you make me want to try getting a little riskier.”

You can just imagine it now. Taking Haechan out with you like you’d tried to do with a few of those random guys you hooked up with. Taking him to the park to have some fun on a picnic, tucked in a corner of the aquarium as the pretty fish swim by, fucking around in the car on a hot summer day with the windows down and your sweaty bodies exposed to the sunlight. 

You fuck yourself on your fingers, trying to keep your eyes focused on the video, but your vision grows hazy with lust, fantasies sweeping into your mind to overlay the visual of Haechan squeezing his hand around his cock with a groan, bucking his hips up into the tight grip of his fist as he finally cums with your name on his lips. Pearly drops coat his fingers, landing on his belly, and he keeps touching until he cums weakly again, spurting from his cock onto his belly too, all of it gathering in the dip of his belly button. 

You want to lick him clean, gather it all on your tongue and let it leak over his dick again before you blow him just to see how quick his refractory period is. 

You replay the video, and this time you touch yourself. You fold a pillow on the bed, straddle it, and ride your fingers while you hump the pillow, keeping the volume on his video loud where your phone lies beside your knee. You close your eyes and imagine that you’re riding him, fucking yourself on his cock instead of your fingers, that your clit is gaining friction from contact with him instead of your pillow. You imagine that it’s his hand coming down on your ass, a sharp smack that leaves your skin smarting; that it’s his fingers that pinch at your nipples; his shoulders that your fingernails dig into instead of the mattress. 

You slump to the side, fingers still slowly pumping as your body trembles from your orgasm. Your free hand searches the bed for your phone and when you swipe out of the video, you see Haechan has sent you a few more messages that you somehow missed. 

One is a closeup photo of his belly, shiny and wet with his cum. One is a simple question of “did you like it?” And then the third and final message is just a steamy mirror selfie, where only a circle to show his face has been wiped clean on the mirror, and the rest of his nude body is blurred out by the steam. 

You simply respond with a picture of your hand, cum stretching between your fingers, more wetness dripping down your palm. “I liked it.”

Monday morning, you don’t see Haechan at all before you go into your meeting with Taeil. It’s probably for the best. You wouldn’t be able to focus on the meeting if you’d seen Haechan; instead you’d be lost in dreamland, thinking of his cock, the rasp of his voice as he moaned your name. 

So you walk into the meeting with a clear head, which makes it run smoothly and successfully. Taeil is proud of you, he’d told you, stating that you worked hard and efficiently on the project, finishing it in less time than it would’ve taken anyone else. And he doesn’t say it in so many words necessarily, but he does hint that there might be a promotion coming up for you. 

You leave the meeting ecstatic, and the feeling carries you through the rest of the day. 

Tuesday, Haechan gets called away for a business meeting on the other side of the city. Wednesday, it’s your turn. Annoyingly, now that you’re finished with the project and finally thought you’d have some free time, something has always got one or the other of you busy. 

You’re never at work at the same time for that whole week, and that weekend he goes home to visit his family. 

You receive a video then of him on the beach at home, the sunset stretching out before him, and Haechan jerking off. He sends it along with the message “since I once saw you by the ocean, this is only fair,” which he explains he meant he watched you and Renjun in that outdoor shower in Thailand. 

You message each other back and forth constantly that weekend. Just casual conversations and then also the deeper, dirtier kind of conversations. More talk about his watching and your enjoyment of being watched, his new experimentation with exhibitionism. You talk about more things — other kinks and interests. His somewhat unsurprising interest in consensual non-consent. Your interest in a threesome, which you’ve never participated in; Haechan follows this up in recounting what he’s experienced. 

Come the following Monday morning, following all of that talk with none of the action, you’re itching with the need to see him. To actually be in the same space as Haechan. 

That need for proximity only grows when you walk into the office and spot Haechan sitting at his desk just a short distance from yours. 

He’s sipping at an iced americano, spinning back and forth in his chair as he stares at the desktop computer’s screen. He turns to catch your eye as you pass him. Your fingertips brush the back of his chair, just barely touching the fabric of his shirt, but he turns his entire seat to follow you with his eyes. 

“You smell nice today,” he says. 

You turn to look at him, and Haechan’s eyes are currently trailing down your legs. The skirt you’d worn today is perhaps a bit shorter than entirely appropriate, but it has captured his attention fully. He hungrily stares at your thighs, your calves, the way that your heels hug your feet. And then his attention sweeps up to your face again. 

“Do you have plans later?” He asks even as you keep walking away to your own desk. 

You don’t, and you tell him that, but before he can suggest any plans for you and him, someone else speaks up from where you hadn’t even noticed her. 

Taeil’s secretary. 

“Oh, Channie!” You cringe as she uses a nickname for Haechan. “Mr. Moon was actually wondering if you could help him out later. You have a friend that’s a mechanic, right? Mr. Moon’s car has been acting up, so he was wondering if you wouldn’t mind taking it for your friend to look at?”

Haechan barely conceals his scowl. The friend in question is Chenle, who recently took his history of wealth, an interest in the inner workings of luxury cars and what he’d learned while studying for a business degree, and he opened a car repair shop business — a far cry from the culinary degree he’d mentioned pursuing when you last saw him. 

“Sure, I can take it to him. But his shop is expensive. He typically only works on luxury cars,” Haechan says. And as far as you’re aware, Mr. Moon drives a Hyundai to and from work everyday, not exactly a luxury vehicle. 

The secretary just smiles. “That’s fine! Mr. Moon recently upgraded to a BMW.”

Hours later, as you’re leaving for the day, you follow Haechan down along with Mr. Moon’s secretary to see the car. It is in fact a shiny, brand new BMW. You wouldn’t think there would be anything wrong with it at all since it looks like it just rolled right out of the factory into this spot in the parking garage. 

The secretary passes the keys over to Haechan, and you don’t miss the nervous way his eyes widen as he takes in the feel of the keys in his hand and then eyes the length of the flawless and expensive car. 

“You’re sure he wants me to take it? He doesn’t want to? I could give you directions, and give my friend a call.” Haechan’s fingers close around the keys. 

She shakes her head, smiling widely as she looks from Haechan to you and then back again. “Mr. Moon has a flight to catch for that conference in Germany. So he’s unavailable to take the car right now, and since he’ll be out of the country for the next week, it just makes sense to have it get worked on while he’s gone.” And then she passes a card over to Haechan as well. “You can charge the mechanic’s bill on this card. And once the car’s finished if you wouldn’t mind just bringing it right back here, and you can leave the key and the card in his office. Thank you, Channie, we both really appreciate it!”

And then she’s walking off, leaving you and Haechan standing there to gaze at the car. 

“You do have your license, don’t you?” You ask. 

Haechan nods wordlessly. “Yeah, but shit. I’ve never even been in a car this nice; I’ve definitely never driven one as nice as this.” 

He unlocks the car, and you watch as he nervously reaches for the door handle. The door opens smoothly, soundlessly, unlike your car which groans loudly pretty much every time you touch it. 

The interior of the car is a cool, sleek black. The dashboard is a screen that comes to life the moment Haechan turns the car on. The engine purrs, and Haechan settles into the driver’s seat, making himself right at home. 

“How do I look?” He asks, gripping the steering wheel and staring ahead through the windshield. “Do I look like I could drive one of these?”

You laugh. “You look hot, Haechan. Like a very, very wealthy man who uses flashy cars to impress people.”

He glances over at you. “Is that what you think Taeil’s doing? Using the car to impress, possibly to compensate?”

“Impress yes. Compensate?” You look Haechan in the eye as you say, “I think you’d be the one who could tell me that. Does he have anything to compensate for?” Haechan’s admitted that he’s watched Taeil fuck the secretary through his hidden cameras, so he should know if Taeil’s gotten a flashy car to compensate for dick size or his skills in bed. 

Haechan shakes his head. “No, he’s fine. Just to impress people then. And it’s definitely working because I’m impressed.” He buckles his seatbelt, adjusting the seat height and distance from the steering wheel, readjusting the mirrors. He does look very hot in the driver’s seat of this nice car. The suit he’d worn to the office today and the pair of sunglasses that he plucks from the cup holder certainly help with the vibe. 

He closes the car door, and a moment later rolls down the dark-tinted window so you can see him again. 

“You want to come with me?”

You lean in, resting your elbows on the edge of the window. Your face is only inches away from Haechan’s, and that delicious fragrance he wears is all you know for a few delirious seconds. You can envision yourself sliding onto the buttery soft leather of the passenger seat. You can envision convincing Haechan to pull over into another parking garage or a park’s parking lot, into anywhere at all and letting you ride him in the driver's seat of this fancy car, finally getting to experience his cock for real. 

You think you can see some of your fantasy playing out behind the dark brown of his eyes too. He’s smiling with a little edge of heat. 

“I shouldn’t.” You take a step back. “I know I said I didn’t have plans, and I haven’t seen Chenle in a while so it would be nice to see him, but I have a feeling that if I get in that car with you…” You meet Haechan’s gaze. “I feel like I’d be distracting you a little too much. Or at least I would want to.”

Your gaze drifts from his eyes to the curl of his hand on the wheel. You don’t think you’d even be out of this parking garage before you’d already be tugging his hand to rest on your thigh, urging his fingers up beneath your skirt. After a week of being denied Haechan’s physical presence in your life, a week filled with nothing but want for every part of him, you feel like an addict being presented with their drug of choice, and it’s almost impossible for you to say no to what he’s offering. But you’re trying so hard to not jump Haechan in your boss’s car. 

“What you’re saying is I’m too sexy right now in this car. You’d be throwing yourself at me?” He grins. 

That’s not what you said, but yes, it’s exactly what you meant. 

You take another step back. “I’m going to go home. You take this car to Chenle for him to work on. Maybe let me know when you’re done, and we’ll see about making some plans then. If not, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Again, you look at his hand on the wheel, the way it flexes, squeezing around the curve of the steering wheel, and your mind flashes to the videos he’s sent you — his hand on his cock, fingers dripping in cum. 

You walk away, taking the elevator to the third level of the parking garage where you’d left your car this morning, and then you sit in your car for a few moments to compose yourself before you head home. Your thoughts, as much as you try to steer them away from the crafted fantasy of fucking Haechan in a fancy car, keep returning there. Again and again on the drive home. 

You’ve just arrived home, just stepped out of your car to head up to your apartment, when you receive a message from Haechan. 

Without hesitation, you open it. 

A video. At first you can only see the interior of the car, and then the camera swings down to focus on his lap. Or, more specifically, on his bare cock. 

“Traffic,” Haechan says. “I’m stuck in traffic, and I’ve got a boner because all I can think about is how if you were here with me right now, you’d be throwing yourself at me.” He laughs a little. “Okay, maybe I’d be the one unable to keep my hands to myself. But unfortunately, right now my hands are all I’ve got for myself, and we’re barely moving in traffic, so I just, ah, thought I’d bide my time productively. I said it the other night, you make me want to take risks in public.”

He’s just rocking his hips off the seat, driving his cock against his hand. 

“The fact this isn’t even my car makes this even hotter. Do you think our boss and secretary have fucked in here yet, or am I the one breaking it in? Shit, if you were here this could be your hand around me. Or maybe your lips. We could break this car in together, would you like that? The windows are so dark though, no one would be able to see you.”

He strokes his cock with a moan. The car lurches forward, you can see his thigh relax and clench as he releases and then steps on the brake. 

“Gotta be careful,” he mumbles to himself. But then he’s right back at it, stroking his cock, and it rubs against Taeil’s steering wheel by accident. His fingers squeeze around his tip and you can see the shiny smear of his precum against the material of the steering wheel. 

He thrusts his hips up, another moan breaking through his lips. 

“It’s gonna be a mess when I cum,” he grunts. “Knew I should’ve brought you for easy cleanup. Could’ve cum in your mouth, made you swallow every drop.”

Your body reacts to that. A lurching feeling of arousal in your core, imagining cleaning up Haechan’s cum. 

His hand stills on his cock for a moment, just the thumb teasing slow circles around the tip, and then he releases his hold with a curse. “We’re moving again.”

And the video ends. 

It’s not until that moment that you realize you’ve just been standing frozen there beside your car this whole time. You pocket your phone and head up to your apartment to take a cold shower. When you get out, you have a new message. 

Another video. 

In this one, the phone is at a different angle and his pants are gone, his shirt is lifted up to expose his belly. And he’s quickly jerking off. There’s no finesse, no teasing or dirty talk. It’s just a quick, short clip of Haechan’s hand moving fast and tight, bitten back moans escaping his teeth as he cums over his fist, dripping down onto his thighs and onto that flawless leather seat. 

“I get why you like this,” Haechan says, bringing the phone up so you can see his chin. “Some man just walked by where I’m parked on the street outside Chenle’s place. The windows are dark so he couldn’t see in, but I had the window rolled down just a little, and he definitely heard me moaning. He was looking, and that’s when I came. What do you think he’d have done if he actually saw me?”

Exactly. That’s exactly what you like about exhibitionism. The thrill of getting away with it and the questions of what if you hadn’t gotten away with it. What would they do if they caught you?

In the video clip you watch Haechan wipe his hand clean on the inside of his undershirt before he tugs his button-down back into place. He straightens his tie and his jacket, then he manages to slide his boxers back up over his hips with one hand. 

“Do you think he’s got any napkins or tissues in here?” Haechan mumbles, reaching around to rustle through the contents of Taeil’s fancy car. “I need something to wipe my jizz up with.”

You smile to yourself, noting the blend of amusement and frustration in Haechan’s voice. 

Eventually he finds something, and he wipes and smears the glob of his cum that had landed on the leather seat. 

It’s then that he slides his phone onto the car’s dashboard, giving you a view of the sky through the windshield. He makes some noise that you assume is him pulling his pants back up, and then he finally picks his phone back up again, showing his face on the video. 

“Anyway, I’d better head inside now and pass the car off to Chenle.” The car door opens, the sounds of the wind and traffic mixing with the sound of his voice. “I’ll have to see how long this takes, but maybe we can still make plans.”

You hope so. 

You spend a little while after that taking care of the Haechan-inspired itch that needs scratching, feeding yourself with fantasies featuring him. You keep expecting to be interrupted by him texting or calling about plans, but you’ve taken care of yourself with no word from him. 

You wait, going about your afternoon doing some laundry and a little cleaning around the apartment. All of it is meant to distract you from being nervous about the reality of making plans with Haechan. Plans that you assume will only lead to finally having sex with him. 

And when he finally sends you a message, your heart takes up an erratic pace. 

But it’s not quite the message you’d hoped for.

“Chenle wants to hang out. He already messaged Renjun, YangYang, and Xiaojun. Do you want to come?”

Now, those aren’t exactly the plans you had in mind, and even as your heart swells with disappointment, you agree. You do want to see your friends, especially Chenle who you haven’t seen in quite a while. But considering that you’re meeting up with all of them for dinner, that they all have a tendency to want to chat late into the night, and since you’re picking up YangYang and Xiaojun on the way, you don’t find your odds of any actual plans with Haechan happening tonight. 

Xiaojun’s girlfriend has basically moved in with him, so she comes along too, and your car is crowded on the way to meet the other three for dinner. And the booth table Chenle booked is even more crowded. 

Everyone is squeezed in so tightly that Haechan has you pressed up against the wall. Across from you, Xiaojun pulled his girlfriend onto his lap. The woman that comes over to take your order only offers an apologetic smile and says that this is the only size table they had left. 

It’s fine. Really. 

You’re all very close friends, so if some of you have to sit with arms around each other, ankles knocking and twisting beneath the table, that’s fine. 

And if it means that at some point after your order is put in and the first round of drinks are served, Haechan tugs one of your legs up over his so he can slide just a little closer to you and save a little extra space for Renjun on his other side, well… you’re not going to complain. 

He glances your way, a sparkle in his eye. 

His hand doesn’t leave your thigh. 

You’re still wearing a skirt, though it’s not the short one you’d worn to work today. 

This is a longer, casual skirt. One that’s loose and floaty enough that when Haechan starts walking his fingers along your thigh, the fabric easily starts bunching up, gathering beneath his fingers and drawing up your leg. 

You tamp down the urge to shiver when the pads of his warm fingers make contact with your bare thigh. 

Liquor burns the back of your throat as you quickly drink the alcohol the woman brought to your table. You hope that the flush of alcohol in your cheeks might conceal the way that you can already feel yourself blushing beneath Haechan’s touch. 

And then he starts stroking his fingers over your inner thigh. Moving them back and forth, fingers drumming gently a melody that you can’t determine. 

The frustrating thing is that you’re in a tizzy, but Haechan is perfectly cool. He’s maintaining a conversation with the others while he builds the heat inside your core. 

And then he squeezes your thigh. 

Palm flat to your skin. Fingers pressing in. 

You snap your head to the side to look at him, your hand dropping beneath the table to cover his hand on your thigh. Your leg draped over his twitches, foot kicking out. 

Unfortunately your accidental kick makes contact. 

Chenle frowns, looking around at your side of the table. “Who just kicked me?”

“Sorry,” Haechan apologizes quickly, covering for you. 

Judging by the way that Chenle moves and the slight thump beneath the table, paired with Haechan’s grunt and jolt, you assume Chenle landed a retaliatory kick. 

Haechan pouts and starts to whine, playing it up dramatically. The others roll their eyes and tease him as he reaches for Renjun asking for him to kiss it better, as he tells Chenle he owes him dessert because his kick had been an accident while Chenle’s had been fully intentional. He asks YangYang to kiss it better, too, to which YangYang flips Haechan off. 

Then he turns to you. “Will you kiss it better?”

Renjun laughs into his drink, nearly choking on it. 

He’s known about your crush on Haechan for ages, so you’re sure he finds that comment very amusing.

You glare at Renjun from over Haechan’s shoulder. Haechan pouts at you, and as much as you desperately want to kiss his soft-looking lips, you’re not going to kiss him in front of your friends right now. “Just take a drink, and you’ll forget about your boo-boo.” You pick up his glass and lift it to his lips for him, tipping it back and pouring it into his mouth. 

Haechan holds eye contact with you, and a pulse of something races along your spine. 

Some of his drink spills from the corner of his mouth, and he lifts a hand to your wrist, pulling your hand and the glass away from his mouth. “I feel better already.”

Beneath the table, he massages your thigh again. 

When the food is served, you would’ve thought he’d need both hands to eat, but to your surprise and satisfaction, Haechan keeps one hand firmly on your thigh, the other to handle his chopsticks. 

You do your best to maintain conversation with the others. After a while, once you’re used to the weight of Haechan’s hand on your thigh and the press of his fingers along the sensitive skin of your bare upper thigh, conversation and concentration get a little easier. You eat and laugh and talk with your friends all while Haechan’s fingers roam higher. 

It’s only once the food on the table is dwindling, once Haechan has eaten his fill apparently, that he turns his focus back to teasing you properly. 

He’s in the middle of talking to Xiaojun about some culinary festival. His fingers slide higher than they’ve been yet, brushing the soft edge of your panties. 

You choke a little on your food, and his fingers withdraw for a moment as attention around the table turns to you. 

“I’m fine.” You cough, reaching for your glass, gulping it down quickly to cool the heat consuming you. 

Xiaojun resumes talking. Haechan’s fingers return to your panties, slower this time and accompanied by a glance to the side from him. Checking with you. 

You slide your hand down to his again, giving him a nod of approval, and applying a little pressure to get his hand moving again. 

The corner of his lips turn up in a barely-suppressed smile. 

The smile grows when his fingers brush along the center of your panties, and he finds them damp. You try to steady your breathing, try not to lean into Haechan as he circles his middle finger over your clit, as he strokes along your slit over your panties, working you up, making you wetter. 

You lean back against the cushioned back of the booth, shoulders pressed into the corner. 

Your hand shakes when you lift your glass to your lips. You hope no one notices. You hope no one notices the attempt you make at taking a steadying breath. Pray no one notices that your eyes are growing distant, your face warm, your posture dissolving.

Haechan eases his fingers inside your panties, and you slide a little lower in your seat to spread your legs just a bit wider. 

You’re reminded of that first time with Renjun. This is a very similar set of people, but this time you don’t have to stare longingly across the room at Haechan’s thighs. Now you’re able to drop a hand to his lap, your hand curving over his gorgeous thighs wrapped snug in his suit pants. You don’t touch him — not in the way that he’s touching you, anyway — just leave your hand there on his thigh, fingernails dragging over the material of his pants as he slides his long, middle finger into your core. 

How he does this so smoothly, so casually, showing nothing at all on his face…. You don’t understand. 

You’re shaking. You’re blushing. 

You’re an exhibitionist, but tonight Haechan has you blushing like a virgin. 

Luckily, the others are pretty much distracted. They don’t notice when you thump your head to the side against the wall, when you lower your gaze to your lap to watch the indecent bulge beneath your skirt as Haechan starts moving, thrusting first the one finger, and then as he adds a second. 

You bite the inside of your cheek to keep from making a sound, though Haechan keeps glancing your way as if hoping to catch your lips parted around a silent moan. 

If anyone does look over at you while you’re utterly distracted, then they probably just assume you’ve hit your limit in alcohol. You’re flushed and your eyes are looking a little glazed. You look like you’re about to fall asleep leaning against the wall with your head angled down like that. 

Truly you’re a hot fucking mess. Your upper inner thighs feel slick with arousal. You’re sweating behind your knees, the back of your neck, under your arms. It’s taking everything in you to not just throw caution to the wind entirely, to haul yourself into Haechan’s lap, to kiss him and ride him right here at the table in front of your friends. 

That thought ignites a new level of heat inside you. 

You remember talking about something like that once with Renjun. Imagining cockwarming him in front of your friends. He’d not been too sure about it, but that had been at the start of whatever it was you’d been doing. 

A little sound slips out between your lips. 

Haechan looks at you, his mouth twisting with amusement, teasing words right on the tip of his tongue. 

You grip his thigh, nails biting into his leg even through the pants. Whatever words he was going to say, he swallows down, just watching you eagerly as he fills you again and again with his fingers. Neither of you pay any attention to your friends around the table, each of you too focused on the same goal: your orgasm. 

When it hits, you just close your eyes and ride it out on Haechan’s fingers. The waves of pleasure pulse through you, and you can feel the way that you’re soaking his fingers, the way he keeps pressing in for more and more, until finally you move your hand from his thigh to push his hand away from in between yours. Wetness drips against your thigh as he removes his fingers. You may have squirted just a little bit, and judging by the heat in Haechan’s gaze, he liked it. 

“Need some water?” He asks, voice just loud enough for the others to barely catch it. “Something to sober you up a bit?”

With his clean hand, Haechan pushes a glass of water towards you, the sides of it dripping with condensation. Gladly, you accept it, gulping down a few mouthfuls of icy water before you press the cool glass to your cheek. When you open your eyes, you make eye contact with Xiaojun. 

His gaze flicks away to Haechan, then back to you before he returns his attention to YangYang who’s in the middle of some dramatic retelling of a sleaze from the club the other night. Just once more, Xiaojun glances your way, and you can’t help wondering if he’d noticed. He’s seen you orgasm before, never in public, but he’s no stranger to it. 

You wonder if he’s told his girlfriend that you used to hook up? 

Before you can pay much more thought to that matter, Haechan brings his hand up from beneath the table. While everyone else is hanging on every word of YangYang’s story, Haechan builds himself a little perilla leaf wrap. You watch him, only barely listening to YangYang, more interested in the way that Haechan fingers glisten with your wetness as he holds the perilla leaf to fill it. 

He catches your eye as he bundles the leaf around the filling, and then he all but shoves the entire thing into his mouth. Including his fingers. 

It’s lascivious the way that he basically sucks his fingers clean of your wetness. The way that even after he’s pulled them out, he waits until he’s finished chewing and swallowing the perilla leaf wrap, and then he licks each of his fingers. 

When Chenle eyes him with a mildly disgusted face, Haechan just shrugs. “What? When you’re eating, don’t you know the juice is the best part?”

“I wouldn’t lick my greasy fingers in public like that,” Chenle responds, shaking his head. 

“Yeah, well, there’s lots of things people shouldn’t do in public.” Haechan smirks and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. 

You sit your glass down and lean forward against the table, resting your hand on his leg beneath the table. “You’re interrupting YangYang’s story. Be quiet, Lee Haechan.”

The rest of the night doesn’t last long. YangYang has to go to work, so he just catches a taxi to take him there. Xiaojun and his girlfriend decide to go check out a restaurant of one of his culinary friends for dessert a short distance away. 

“How’re you getting home?” Haechan asks after you’ve all paid and the others have begun to head their own ways. “I know you’re not drunk, but I think you’ve had too much to safely drive yourself.”

Outside, the cool night air brushes against your warm cheeks. You know he’s right. You were drinking quite a bit earlier, and driving wouldn’t be safe. 

“You can take me.” You grab for his arm. “My car is right there. You can just drive me home.”

“Chenle did quick work on Mr. Moon’s car earlier. I have to return it to the parking garage at work. I can’t do both.” Haechan leans against the wall outside the restaurant, looking at you. You can’t help smiling, can’t help gravitating towards him. 

“I can drive.”

You turn around, almost surprised to see Renjun there. His hands are in his pockets, and he even looks a little surprised too. 

“I can drive you home,” he says to you. “I haven’t had anything to drink in the past couple hours. I can take you. Plus, it’s been a little while since we got to talk, just the two of us.”

You nod. “My car is right here.” You point across the street to where your car sits like a piece of garbage behind Mr. Moon’s fancy BMW. Your keys are in your purse, and it takes you a minute of rummaging around to find them, but once you do, you drop them into Renjun’s waiting hand. “And here’re the keys.”

Haechan knocks into your other hand, his knuckles skimming along the back of your hand. “Let me know when you get home, okay? Both of you.”

You��re quite tempted to kiss him goodnight. To drape your arms over Haechan’s shoulders, to taste the saltiness of the samgyeopsal, the sweetness of the soda he’d been drinking too. 

He taps a finger against your forehead. “Don’t fall asleep before you get home. Renjun won’t carry you to bed.”

Renjun laughs. “I could.”

You’re not blind to the look that Haechan shoots at Renjun. A sharp look. A curse embedded in there. The threat that spells out that Renjun had better not even try. 

Wordlessly, Renjun unlocks your car, and with a loud groan (from the car, not from him), he opens the door on the passenger side for you. You slide in, and Haechan fills the open door, fitting himself in between the door and the body of the car, a hand on each one as he looks down at you. 

“Text me once you’re home.” His voice is a gentle command. Your heart warms, and you nod. 

“Goodnight, Haechan.”

The driver’s side door of your car squeals open, and Renjun drops himself into the seat. 

Haechan steps back, closing the door for you, and he just waits there on the sidewalk, watching as Renjun starts the car, as you both buckle in, as Renjun pulls away from the curb. You wave, and Haechan waves back, watching you go. 

You’re still watching him shrink in the reflection of the side mirror when Renjun starts laughing. You look over at him. “What?”

“So you finally succeeded? That’s happening?” He laughs, readjusting his grip on the steering wheel. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You fold your arms, checking the mirror again, but Haechan is too far now for you to be able to see him anymore. 

Renjun waits a moment, during which the quiet sound of a turn signal is all that fills the silence. And then, “I’m not blind. Maybe the others were somehow oblivious, but I was sitting right beside Haechan all night. Also, I’ve fingered you around our friends before, I can see the signs.”

“Shut up. You couldn’t tell.” You shoot a look over at him, but he stays focused on the road. 

“Maybe. Maybe not. But either way, you just confirmed it for me.” He smiles, sending a short glance over at you before he looks ahead again. “You were too squirmy, and there was a long time that Haechan only had one hand above the table. Guess you found your perfect match in him, didn’t you? Lucky, since you’ve had that crush on him for so long.”

You sigh, tipping your head against the window. “He’s gross, Renjun. A real pervert.” You say those words as if they are compliments, as if you’re calling him dreamy, a real prince.

Renjun makes a noise on the other side of the car, and you’re not sure if it’s disgust or one of intrigue.

“I love it, honestly.” You twist your head to the side. Renjun’s profile is outlined by streetlights in pale amber. “We talked one night recently, and everything came out into the open. The things I’ve done, things he’s done. He’s so much worse than I am.”

Renjun tilts his head. “How? You were constantly begging me to fuck you somewhere public. How could he be worse than that?” He doesn’t say it with any vitriol, but rather like he’s teasing you. You know Renjun was just as eager to do everything as you were.

“He’s been watching people for a long time. I won’t give you all of the details, but did you know that when he went through your phone while we were all in Thailand, he sent himself videos from your camera roll?” 

That makes Renjun’s head finally turn to look at you fully. Luckily you’re stopped at a red light already, so he runs no risk of rear-ending anyone. “He what?”

“It’s just one of the confessions he told me. He didn’t show me them, just told me about them.” You shiver a little with delight as you recall, “He told me that his favorite one is the first one we filmed together, me riding you in my car. And he doesn’t even know that it’s me; I haven’t told him that yet.” You laugh, resting your cheek again on the cool window. “He also said that he wasn’t asleep that final night in Thailand when we messed around right there beside him. He’s a little perv, Renjun, watching us and all of our friends too. It’s just… gross, but I can’t explain it. I like it.”

Now he laughs too. “You’re both gross. I should’ve known that about him. After he spent months crashing on our sofa at school because his roommate caught him being a chronic masturbator.” He shakes his head. “Maybe caught isn’t even the right word.”

You laugh too, but your mind is filled with the vivid imagery of the video Haechan had sent you earlier. His fingers wrapped around his cock. Cum dripping pearly white down his fingers. Your laugh tapers off into a sigh. 

“I’m happy for you,” Renjun says after driving a few moments in silence. “For you and Haechan.”

“I’m not so sure there is a Me and Haechan yet. We just talked. We’ve kissed.” Your heart flutters in your chest, wishing you’d have kissed him goodnight. “He’s sent me a few videos, and we talk of course, and then there was tonight. But we haven’t, like, talked and we haven’t gone on a date or actually had sex. I want it to be a proper thing, not like what you and I did, and not like what Xiaojun and I did.”

“Trust me,” Renjun shares, “The way Haechan looks at you, the way he treats you… he likes you. Genuinely and completely, and both of you are fools if either of you let the other get away. I’ve known him longer than you, and I’ve never seen him the way he gets with you; and he’s been that way for a while now, honestly. When I talk with him, you always come up inevitably, in some way he always twists conversation to mention your name, to tell a funny story or to praise something that you did at work. And he’s always been, like, protective of you, whether you noticed it or not. I don’t think you need to worry about it not becoming a proper thing.”

When Renjun drops you off at your apartment door, you’re left with a lot more than just the car keys that he returns to you. Your mind and chest are buzzing thinking about what you’d talked about in the car. 

You want to call Haechan as soon as you’re inside. You want to hear his voice. You want to tell him that you like him too, because it’s only now that you’ve been mulling over Renjun’s words that you remember that Haechan had confessed the night you first kissed. He’d whispered an “I like you” after you kissed on the street, and you’d been too busy reeling him back in for another kiss to tell him that you like him too. 

You decide maybe you’re still a little tipsy, and maybe you should wait to call him and confess that you like him too until you’re in a clear state of mind. 

So instead of calling him, you just send him the confirmation message that you got home safely. 

And he calls you. 

He’s still driving, returning the car to the parking garage at the office. You talk to him when he’s returning the car, when he’s riding the elevator up to the Moon Corporation’s offices, as he drops the key and the credit card off in Mr. Moon’s office. You keep talking, just keeping him company, as he leaves and rides a cab back to his place. You keep talking to him as you go through your bedtime routine — brushing your teeth, washing your face, using the toilet, changing out of your clothes. 

“I’m home now.” Haechan yawns in your ear after a while. “It’s been a long day.” 

“It’s been a long everything.” You sigh, sinking into your bed. “About earlier, at the restaurant….”

Haechan hums quietly on his end of the line, and you can hear him close a door, sit his phone down, and from the way sounds are more distant and slightly echoier, you assume he put you on speakerphone. 

“I really enjoyed that.” You stare up at your ceiling, fighting the blush that rises to your cheeks, the heat that flares in your belly as you remember the feel of his fingers — Haechan’s fingers! — against your thighs and inside you, pulling you apart so easily. 

“Me too,” he admits. “Though I would rather have had you spread out on that table so I could get a proper taste of you. The little licks I got off my fingers weren't enough.”

You have to bite back a whimper at the mental image he’s painted. “Haechan… I��I still haven’t gotten to touch you. Or taste you. I feel like I’m at a disadvantage again.”

His voice sounds distant from the phone when he says, “I guess we’d better remedy that, angel. But there’s one thing I need you to do for me before you can get a taste.”

“Hm?” Your heart is racing. 

“Go on a date with me. A real date. Dinner and talking, maybe a movie. Dessert.” Haechan’s voice draws nearer again, and then suddenly you can tell he’s scooped his phone back up, that he’s holding it to his face. “I want to be wined and dined before you have your way with me, babe.”

That makes you laugh. But you quickly agree. 

“A date. Name your time and place, Haechan.”

The smile in his voice is clear when he promises, “I’ll get back to you on that. Goodnight.” 

You haven’t felt so giddy at the idea of a date in a long, long time. How are you meant to fall asleep right now?

“Goodnight, Lee Donghyuck.”

previous chapter || next chapter

a/n: not quite the full thing, but they've finally!! at last!! done something with each other! they're building up towards it lol which I'm sure is torture for all of you who've been dying for them to fuck, but it's coming! I swear!

[thegoddesswater]

Got tagged by @lanonima​ and, because I have other things I should be doing, decided to get these all done right away Yay semi-productive procrastination!

What's one thing that your friends say that applies to you? Like a quirk or something they know you for? Something they associate with you always?

This legitimately depends on people group you’re asking. One friend immediately thinks of me when he sees anything Batman. For other friends, it’s my yarn witchcraft fibre arts. My coworkers? They associate me with baking. All are correct

Who inspires you in your life? I don't mean a celebrity, but a person you know, brag about someone incredible that is your inspiration.

Probably Sir Silver (very weird to call him that). I can trace so much of my personal growth over the last couple years back to him: I drive now, I’m more confident in social situations, he indirectly hauled me out of the worst writers block I’ve experienced... Things just feel POSSIBLE around him and I can’t explain why, but when I’m around him, it’s just like “Yeah. I CAN do this and I WILL. Bring. It. On.” I don’t think he has any idea he has this effect on me

Who do you consider to be your favourite person and why?

@flamingdoritos​ and @wheelybard​ are some of my oldest IRL friends and they have both seen me at my absolute lowest and worst and they’ve still said “you are my person and I am here” They bring colour to my life when my world goes grey scale.

What's your favourite kind of animal? If you lived with said animal, what would you name them? If you have said animal, what is their name?

Normal answer is bunnies. I had bunnies growing up named Cotton and Candy - they came named. The weird how-would-you-keep-that-as-a-pet answer is sea slugs. A freaking huge tank of all kinds of sea slugs. Heck If I know what I would name them. Probably name them all after fictional characters..

What colour is your most recent obsession?

Probably purple (I say “probably” as though I didn’t carry a paint chip around for eight years waiting to paint my kitchen that exact colour as soon as I got a house)

What's a little decor item that you want to own in the future?

I have very little impulse control when it comes to decor. Particularly since I tend to gravitate towards more unique things, so when I see something I want, I snag it. Except for a pair of owl candlesticks I found last summer. I left those in the shop and somewhat regret that. If I ever find something similar again, I may need to own them. A LARGE decor item that I want to own is a fancy board game table

Do you have any mundane but cute "talent"/thing you can do? Something just slightly unusual but also completely usual?

If I’ve heard a song before and am later presented with just the lyrics, I can usually pull the tune for it out of nowhere?

Do you like fashion? What kind of a dresser are you? More casual? Fancy?

Eh. I don’t mind looking nice, but I am very much a ‘jeans and t-shirt’ gal when I’m not at work. I did vow that this year I would be making (sewing/knitting/crocheting) all new articles of clothing instead of buying any, so that’s going to be interesting. My grandmother thinks I’m crazy for deciding that I will attempt to make myself jeans.

Do you wear makeup? What's your go-to makeup look? If you don't wear makeup, have you ever thought of wearing it?

Who has the time for makeup? Not I! Last time I wore make up was for my friend’s wedding and I felt like a goddamn princess. It was delightful and I have no idea how to replicate it.

Recommend us one movie that the critics/public didn't like that much when it came out but you personally think is a hidden gem!

Um. I dunno??? Kubo and the Two Strings? I wouldn’t dare go so far as to say that folks didn’t like it when it came out, just that it was not well known? It’s phenomenal

What show are you watching right now? Recommend it to us!

Currently I am watching a post-war saga about a man from a cult who steals (and subsequently adopts) a severely traumatized child from an evil government organization. After breaking the creed of his people for the sake of son, he must go on a journey to his ancestral home to seek redemption and absolution in the war-torn ruins (It’s The Mandalorian, folks)

Have you ever watched an anime? If yes, which one?

Numerous ones. Fullmetal Alchemist will probably always be my favourite series.

What's your favourite kind of art medium? Recommend us an artist or show us an art piece (could be music, painting, crochet, whatever) that you really love!

I don’t feel like I have a favourite art medium, but hand stitched embroidery is pretty freaking cool.

I mean LOOK AT THIS (from here)

What do you like to do when you are bored?

Knit/crochet, go for a walk, play video games, read, show up unannounced at my parents’ house and make my boredom their problem, practice French...

How many pillows do you sleep with, if any?

One. Unless we count my two stuffed dogs - which I do not.

Do you have trouble with sleeping? Do you remember your dreams a lot or forget them as soon as you wake up?

I usually sleep pretty well. I try to keep fairly consistent sleep hours, which helps, but sometimes I am just Awake For No Reason. And that is The Worst. I also sleepwalk which is an adventure and a half sometimes. Once I nearly ran around my house at 2:30 in the morning looking for my cat because I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen or fed it. (I do not own a cat) I think it depends on when in the sleep cycle I wake up whether I remember my dreams or not. If I remember them FlamingDoritos usually gets a text saying “Okay so I just had a dream that...” And she’s gotta brace herself for the most unhinged series of paragraphs that she’ll encounter all week.

Who is one cool character in something you've seen in your life that you hyperfocused on at a time in your life.

The fact that you think I can pick ONE is almost insulting. Nightwing/Dick Grayson and Red Hood/Jason Todd from the Batman comics. Soren from Fire Emblem 9 & 10. Jak and Torn from the Jak and Daxter series. Lirael from the Abhorsen novels. I’m mildly ashamed that there’s only one lady listed

Show us your current phone case!

It is significantly more pink IRL. And the pattern is wearing away in numerous places. Probably gonna replace it soon tbh

Recommend people a song that has meant a lot to you sometime in your life and share us the story about if you'd like.

If you want one with a history (that I don’t feel like expanding on at the moment) - “Diamond on a Landmine” by Billy Talent If you would like the one that I most recently forced unendingly on repeat into my ears for reasons I cannot articulate beyond clearly it just resonating with my soul at the time - “Perfect” by Miracle of Sound

How has your day been so far?

Decent! My back and hips are killing me though and have been for weeks so that puts a bit of a damper on things.

Tagging~ Um... I dunno. Do I have any followers who enjoy tag games? I don’t wanna impose these things on folks if you super don’t want to do them.

[cherry-pop-soda]

in honor of 1000 depeche mode posts :)

(if you are one of my mutuals the note under the cut is for you!!!) (I will post another of this without the note and put that under the tag to avoid confusion)

hi!!! I recently surpassed 1000 posts in my depeche mode tag, and I wanted to do something to celebrate that. so I took 1000 images of depeche mode and made them into this photo mosaic!! but there’s more to it than just that. the reason I chose a frame from the enjoy the silence music video for the background of this image is not just because that was the first depeche mode music video I ever watched, it’s because of how important the song was in leading me here. At the time I didn’t know what I was listening to, but from the ages of three to four I heard new wave and depeche mode a lot on the radio. But as I started school, the years passed, things changed, and my memories of it were lost to time. I went about nine years without listening to depeche mode. but that all changed when I was thirteen and started thinking about those early years again. although by this time I couldn’t remember any of it anymore, I impulsively decided to try and find the music I used to listen to in those days. I didn’t know any bands or song titles. the only thing that I could remember was the words “enjoy the silence”, because of how vividly I remembered them being sung at the end of the song. I couldn’t remember well enough to know if I had the right words, but when I searched up the words and played the song again, I knew immediately that I found what I was looking for. even now I am amazed how that single line stuck with me so much that I remembered it nearly a decade later. without that lyric, I never would’ve gotten into depeche mode again, I never would’ve ended up here, and I never would’ve met you all. of all the countless different timelines that I had a higher likelihood of ending up on, because of one single song lyric and against all other odds, I was lucky enough to end up on this one, and for that I will always be grateful. 

I also really wanted to make this as a thank you to everyone in this circle for being so incredibly kind, warm, and welcoming. combing through my archive to collect the images for this project made me look back and appreciate the time i’ve spent on this blog with all of you so much. seeing my old posts and tags made me realize just how much joy i’ve gotten from all of this and how important so many of the moments i’ve shared with you have become in my memory. the late nights posting and the hours spent laughing have become some of my fondest memories of the last several months. also, the welcome I received into this circle was probably one of the warmest that I’ve ever received. I can’t begin to list all the times i’ve been amazed at how friendly and sweet you all have been. I remember how shy and nervous I was when I first met any of you, and when I compare that to where I stand now, I can’t even absorb how things could’ve changed so much and so fast. It’s insane to me how something as simple as a shared interest with others would ever have made such a wild impact on my life. so, in honor of the incredible kindness you have shown me, the wonderful moments i’ve enjoyed with you all over the last six months, and the slim chance I managed to grab onto that eventually brought me here, I wanted to give you this to commemorate it all. 

[bakagamieru]

Hi! I've been feeling really down, as well as frustrated and sad these past few days and I guess I'm here for a bit of reassurance maybe? Your blog was what opened my eyes to Ziam and also to the stunt ot4 v Zayn and all that, about a year ago, so I'm quite new. Your masterposts especially have been very informative! So basically I trust your judgement in this as someone who's been here a while and gone through it. Anyway, I completely believe in Ziam along with Larry now (been a Larrie (1)

(2) a long while) and I also believe all bbg's are fake etc. The thing I still get confused about/doubt sometimes, is the whole Harry&Louis & Zayn 'feud' thing. Most days I'm sure in my heart that all the twitter fights and post-interviews being mad at Z is all fake and part of a narrative. Zayn honestly even put lyrics to a song about a fight before actual fight for fucks sake?! Also it was all so ridiculous and public, childish, etc. it can't possibly have been real. Then his 'falling out

(3) with NB in the end. Also what ELSE (if not that 'fight') could they have been mad at him for? For 'leaving' because of his health (or whatever they said was the reason)? And after all this time still being mad/or at least bringing it up? Sounds very unlike H&L too doesn't it? Then I remember rbb/sbb, and this is something I've researched TOO MUCH honestly. Some people still refuse to even admit it was there or that it meant ANYTHING. But that goddamn yellow smiley was there several times

(4) after the 'twitter fight'. Why would that be the case? Also Ziam being together, and Louis being so close with Liam and hating on his man? It just doesn't add up anywhere. Sorry I know this is just me sounding very insecure about it all and atm I kinda am. I was having a discussion with a Larrie the other day. One of the bigger blogs with a big influence and lots of people reblogged and agreed with them, when I was trying to point out how I think 1D as a 'whole' are still being under some

(5) form of contract or image clause at the very least. They said the whole contract thing is fanfiction at this point (besides Louis essentially) and the other boys are all free to do whatever. They also don't believe in Ziam or that Zayn is friends with the boys at all. Mentioned how Harry is still 'salty' about him in interviews etc etc. They are so SURE of themselves. But yeah even though I mostly KNOW I still doubt on this because of the fucked up narratives. what if H&L / Zayn really did

(7) has been a stunt? Not saying they hang out as best friends these days maybe, what with their own lives and pandemic on top of it, but do you still think they're 'family'/ot5forever'? I honestly feel like I get gaslighted even by Larries these days and it's not much fun to follow them anymore :( Seeing Harry with Niall made me smile though! Gives me at least some hope that they still are close xx //This got very long, I'm so sorry. You can answer in tags if you wish :)

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Number 6 never seems to have made it to my inbox.  Good job numbering them, though, because I never would have realized one was missing otherwise.

Anyway, I hate to say it, but talking to Larries is a fraught prospect.  Almost all of the people who still call themselves Larries don’t believe in Ziam and it’s because they’ve never bothered to actually look at the evidence.  They don’t treat all of the boys with the same respect or interest that they treat Harry and Louis, so any time you try to convince them of a stunt related to Liam, Zayn, or Niall, they’re likely going to make their decision based on nothing but bias and refuse to budge on it no matter how much evidence you have.  Taking their word on Louis being the only one still under contract/sabotaged when they clearly don’t pay any attention to what’s actually going on with the other boys would be foolish.  You can always try to change a Larrie’s mind and maybe there should always be people that do try, but from my perspective, it’s just a depressing and infuriating situation to put yourself in.  

At best, I would have those conversations privately, especially if the blog has a lot of influence.  A blog with a lot of influence has ulterior motives to not changing their views publicly because if they do, they may well lose followers.  You may have a chance of getting them to look at evidence if you’re talking in private though.

I know the whole 1D friendship thing is hard right now because it’s been more than 5 years since they’ve really interacted.  We’ve gotten some Niam, Nouis, and Lilo here and there, but most of that is just talk even, no pics.  Because we have no immediate evidence of their friendship in front of us, all we have to rely on is interviews which we KNOW are BS-narrative machines.  It’s hard to ignore them when it’s all we have, but we should ignore them anyway because past experience has taught us just how much interviews push stunt narratives.

I would actually say the whole Narry outing recently gives us more to believe in than anything else.  If Harry and Niall hung out completely in public and we only found out about it through a picture a week or two later that could easily have never been identified by a fan, then it’s pretty likely that all the boys have managed to hang out whenever they want without being noticed, right?  Especially if they went to each other’s houses instead of to a public hiking trail.  There’s so much going on behind the scenes that we don’t have access to or knowledge of.  Zayn could have hung out with any one of the boys at any time because we hardly know where he is.  He’s almost never even on social media, so there are huge chunks of time where he’s unaccounted for.

The hiatus is hard specifically because of a lack of new information and because the status quo (in terms of the BS narrative) has had no reason to change for a long time.  I’ve said it before, but with Zayn’s situation, the only time after hiatus started that it makes narrative and business sense to reverse the “feud” narrative is leading up to a reunion.  That means we most likely WILL NOT see any improvement until a reunion approaches and with the pandemic, that’s definitely not happening this year and probably not even next.  It sucks, but the status quo of BS being maintained is what we should expect right now and just because it IS being maintained isn’t a sign of anything having worsened.  It’s just logical.  If you want to use the hype of a reconciliation to get fans excited, to sell tickets, to earn money, etc., then you need to wait until a reunion so that you HAVE tickets to sell and money to earn.

I would say hold on to the logical conclusions you can come to from the time when we had a lot of information to go off of (the OTRA tour and just after) and try not to read into anything happening now because there’s just about NOTHING happening right now and there’s just not enough data to find patterns and draw conclusions about the reality behind the fakery. 

[dimigex]

Author Questionnaire

Thanks for the tag @cinlat This took forever so I'm not going to tag anyone else but please do it if you want, I'd love to know more about so many of the people I follow! And if you do it after seeing it here, tag me!

1. Name: Dimigex

2. Fandoms: Mostly Naruto and Overwatch. I've dabbled in Fullmetal and there are some others I think I could, but there's never enough hours

3. Where You Post: here on tumblr and A03 and Fanfiction.net

4. Most Popular One Shot: Hints (1331 kudos) which is a Kakashi/Iruka slow burn one shot in which Genma plays matchmaker. Honestly, I have no idea why it's so popular.

5. Most Popular Multi-chapter: Altered Reality (381 kudos lol) which is a Kakashi/Rin fix it fic that I honestly never meant to write lol

6. Actual Worst Part of Writing: Making it perfect through editing. I have always said that I am a terrible writer and a great editor but it is so time consuming. I want to get to the fun stuff and get bogged down fixing the plot and setting things up that I lose interest.

7. Favorite Story You Wrote: This is actually a really hard one for me. It's a toss-up between Falling Cherry Blossoms and I'll be the Moon. Falling Cherry Blossoms is an exploration of grief and what it would take to break Kakashi. and I'll be the Moon really delves into the complexity of love and relationships.

8. Story You Were Nervous To Post: Honestly, I'm nervous to post every story. No matter what someone says, writing is putting a piece of yourself out there for someone to take a look at. I was pretty nervous posting my first KakaYama smut which was in Surprised Disguise, where Kakashi surprises Tenzo as Sukea and gets way more than he bargained for. Distraction also made me nervous. It's a KakaSaku mututal pining where they enjoy themselves since they can't have each other.

9. How You Choose Your Titles: Luck of the draw? Most of my titles come from song lyrics that inspired the story in the first place. Sometimes they're spot on descriptors of what's in the story, but it's normally song lyrics because I'm not terribly creative. By the time I get to the title, i've used up all my creative prowess elsewhere.

10. Complete Works: Are you serious right now? There are so many if we count one shots. I started doing them all, then got bored about one page in and decided to hit the highlights after a point. These are the most recent one shots or notable ones.

- Collateral Damage (Overwatch, In which Ana has has had too many friendly fire incidents)

- Silent Pleasures (Naruto, Kakashi/Iruka have some not safe for work fun at work)

- Forever and Always (Naruto, Kakasaku one shot where he's badly injured on a mission)

- Aftermath (Overwatch, Jack has some regrets about how he left things with Gabe)

- Imposter (Naruto, Kakashi/Tenzo in which Kakashi is jealous of Tenzo's stuffie that looks like him)

- Relapse (Naruto, Kakashi/Sakura in which she slept with Sasuke while she and Kakashi might have had something between them)

- Worlds Collide (Naruto, Kakayama in which Tenzo is captured by Obito and turned against Konoha and Kakashi. Kakashi will save him no mater the price)

-I'll be the Moon (Naruto, Kakashi/Sakura in which she's married to Sasuke but it having an affair with Kakashi. It's a complex look at love, life, and relationships)

- Find Me in the Dark (Naruto, Kakashi/Tenzo in which Tenzo gets captured and tortured by Orochimaru)

- Lightning and Starlight (Naruto, in which Kakashi wasn't fast enough to stop Sakura from putting a chidori through Sakura's chest)

- Surprised Disguise (Naruto, Kakashi/Tenzo, in which flirting as Sukea has unexpected results)

- Flood (Naruto, in which Kakashi pulls a prank on Genma by telling him that Sakura is pregnant)

- Falling Cherry Blossoms (Naruto, Kakashi centric, where he loses nearly everyone and falls apart)

- Muddy Water (Naruto, Genma/Sakura, the crack fic that built a ship? When I wrote thie, there were almost no other stories with this pairing. Sakura takes a mission she's not prepared for and Genma saves her in more ways than one

11. Incomplete Works:

- Drabbles, Requests, and Things I Should Have Left Alone (this is my catch all file for all the random things, multiple fandom)

-Heart in a Silver Cage (Naruto, Genma/OC, enemies to lovers slow burn mission fic)

- Healing Hands (Naruto, Tenzo/Sakura glacial burn that deals with ptsd and mental health)

- Losing Control (Naruto, Genma/Sakura or maybe Kakashi/Sakura, in which Sakura is pregnant with Genma's child)

- Tongue in Cheek (Naruto/SWtoR crossover in which Genma and @cinlat s OC Fynta get into all kinds of trouble, probably in both worlds)

- Altered Reality (Naruto, Kakashi/Rin fix it fic in which she lived, they got married, and she's pregnant with their child but she can't remember it)

- Run to You (Naruto, Tsunade/Jiraiya falling in love, falling apart, and trying to reconcile together, spanning their whole relationship with vignettes)

- Save Yourself: Shadows and Regrets (Naruto, Kakashi/Tenzo falling in love in Anbu with a healthy dose of Genma humor thrown in)

12. Do you outline: Rarely, we die like men here. Honestly, once I outline it all, I lose interest. That said, both AR (Altered Reality) and Caged (Heart in a Silver Cage) have outlines. HH (Healing Hands) is roughly written and needs all the editing and shaping.

13. Coming Soon: Heaing Hands is the big coming soon because it's written, but I'm working on several Overwatch fics. My favorite is (You Held the Gun that) Fired First which is a massive reaper76 that includes Vincent, falling in love, falling into bed, and falling apart.

14. Best writing trait: Personally, I think I write emotions well. Angst is my favorite tbh @birkastan2018 once called me their angst dealer and it literally made my year lol

15. Upcoming Story You Are Most Excited to Write: Gabriel's background story in Overwatch. I have all the ideas and none of the writing lol

16. Spicy Tangential Opinion: Honestly, I don't get triggered by too much either way. To each their own and if I dont' agree I can move on without blasting someone over something.

[sharkmartini]

FIC WRITER INTERVIEW

💖💖💖 Thank @captain-aralias for thinking of me 💖💖💖

name: My real name isn’t Winnie, but I try to keep my real life and fandom stuff separate, although that is surprisingly difficult once you start making connections with others.

fandoms: I pretty much exclusively write for Carry On right now, but in the past I’ve dabbled in fic for Jake & Amir (I don’t think this counts as a fandom) and the Song of Achilles. 

I read fic depending on my mood, mostly Carry On but I also occasionally check out Harry Potter, BBC Sherlock, Star Wars fics.

where you post: AO3. I link to it through tumblr, but I don’t post here. I used to use livejournal back in the day for older fandoms, but I never really got comfortable using it.

most popular one-shot: By hits and kudos, Monster by a loooooongshot. Stay up with me has more bookmarks though, which is the metric I prefer to look at when trying to decide if something was well-liked.

most popular multi-chapter: I almost exclusively write one-shots, because I don’t have the patience to work through multichapter fics (there’s a reason my longer fics cap out between 16-20k words.) Of the few multichapter I’ve attempted, in which one (Supersize) isn’t really a multichapter, the most popular by far is No Time, by every metric.

fic you were nervous to post: Most of my nervousness in posting comes from my own expectations, really. These days I am not nervous to post, but a couple of years ago I wasn’t feeling great about rolling up with explicit fics in what was at the time a fandom without that many. This has obviously changed over the years. 

how do you choose your titles: If the fic revolves around the use of a spell, the fic is usually named after it. I try to avoid using song lyrics (personal preference) but I occasionally give in. I like expressions and idioms, and overall prefer shorter titles, when possible.

do you outline: Extensively. All my fics begin with an outline. I don’t start seriously working on a fic until the outline is complete and everything is in place, otherwise it takes me too long and I give up. 

Sometimes my outlines are so long and detailed that all I do is fill in dialogue and the fic is basically done.

complete: 26/27. I probably will not ever again try posting WIP because that’s not how I perform my best. Also as a reader I hate waiting for new chapters and try to avoid WIPs, except under certain circumstances. I’m still hurt over Your Bloodied Mouth never being completed, and so no WIPs for me.

do you take prompts: I don’t not take prompts. My backlog is pretty severe though, so I don’t seek them out, having a bunch of my own ideas to work through first. I’m always flattered when someone leaves a prompt in my inbox though, it’s sweet to be thought of.

in progress: (all progress is slow)

Medieval arranged marriage AU (Celebrated 4th birthday recently)

Simon as android AU

Baz + Agatha Forever

Sex Pollen for @captain-aralias

coming soon: (soon being a relative term)

The next fic you see from me is likely to be the sex pollen. Followed by Baz + Agatha Forever. The android fic is a long term project that will probably have a couple of birthdays before it’s complete. Who knows about the arranged marriage fic- I’ve added quite a bit to it this year but it’s still only half done.

TAGS: Quick tags, I’m late for work! @krisrix @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @pipsqueakparker @thehoneyedhufflepuff @annabellelux

[queerpyracy]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @marypsue a couple of days ago while I was at the coast! wrt some of these answers i'm thinking also of how i write orig fic, since the process isn't terribly different even if the style/focus is

Name: queerpyracy here, hilaryfaye on tumblr (in ages long past my tumblr url was savetheheathenshilaryfaye, from the movie saved!, but that seemed way too long for an ao3 username)

Fandoms: several, but top of my mind are Rise of the Guardians, Kuroko no Basket, Transformers, and most recently of course, Mary Shelley's Frankenstein

Two-shot: none, apparently! I either do one-shots or multichapters. the smallest multi I have is No Need to Speak (RotG) from 2013. if there are any 2-parters buried deep in my fic tag that I didn't post to ao3, i have forgotten them and i'm not going to dig through there to look

Most popular multi-chapter: by hits, it's No Need to Speak. I checked by kudos out of curiosity but it was still NNtS so clearly that one resonated

Actual worst part of writing: the connective tissue between scenes/plot points when you don't quite know how to get from point A to point B, or trying to write a Big, Important Scene that you've been thinking about for too long and now words are failing you because you've imagined it too many times and you just can't get it Perfect on the page

How you choose your titles: it used to mostly be like a thematic image and that sort of thing but here's the thing i find titles very, very difficult so i use song lyrics a lot more these days because i already used up all my Hard Work on the story now you want me to title it???

Do you outline: ehhhh kind of? sometimes? the times i'm most likely to have an outline is when I tell myself i'm "writing down an idea for later" and lying to myself that i'm not going to start work on it immediately. generally this includes a beginning, part of a middle plot, and how i want to end it with a bunch of ??????? in between.

Ideas you probably won’t get around to but wouldn’t it be nice: I had a very extensive all-female TF fantasy au planned once, an idea which I'm still attached to/would like to file the serial numbers off of. I was finally gonna fulfill my ultimate lesbian fantasy of having a butch woman blacksmith as my protagonist. There was a lesbian pirate au, too, bc I write for no one if not myself.

Callouts @ yourself: it would be nice to finish a few more things than I typically do. also: stop worrying so much about your imaginary audience, the real one is almost always much more enthusiastic.

Best writing traits: honestly! I think how I pace the worldbuilding in my story (gradually revealed to the reader to give context to the story) is good! the handful of sf novels i've encountered that had a fake history lesson at the beginning were the worst! and i like to think that i can write crackling and fraught relationship dynamics

Spicy tangential opinion: In the same way that fic(tion) is not sex ed, it's also not there to model ethics or healthy relationships. Those are fine, but they're not by any means the purpose of fic(tion.) (And if I may be both extremely specific and petty, any Frankenstein ship that doesn't involve the Creature is boring.)

[pawprinterfanfic]

fic writer asks

Tagged by the lovely @burninghoneyatdusk ! This was so much fun, thanks for the tag!

Name(s)?

Pawprinter (AO3) pawprinterfanfic (Tumblr)

Fandom(s)?

SO MANY

I’m currently having the best time in the Julie and the Phantoms fandom, especially with Willex, Juke, and found family fics.

I’ll always have a home with the 100 and Bellarke though, and I’m excited to continue to write more for this fandom!

Where you post? 

AO3

Most popular one-shot (by kudos)?

Title: fears (don't get me started)

Rated: General

Summary: The Julie and the Phantoms Instagram page blows up thanks to a local celebrity. As a result, Alex learns what shipping is.

Words: 7.3k

Kudos: 1213

This is my first fic for the Julie and the Phantoms fandom, and i’m still so proud and happy with the response it got!! I’ve had a few people tell me that it was their first fic they read in the JATP fandom and that also makes me so happy.

Most popular multi-chapter (by kudos)?

Title: Paint me in Trust

Rated: Explicit

Summary: Clarke is on the run. It's 1997 in Britain, during the height of the Second Wizarding War. Voldemort is wreaking havoc in the Wizarding World, fear is weighing heavily on everyone, and anyone who doesn’t side with the Dark Lord is in danger.

Clarke was expected to side with him. She’s from a pureblood family that has decades tangled with the Dark Arts, after all. But, she didn’t.

So, she ran.

Somehow, she finds her way to a safe house where she meets with other wizards and witches on the run.

-

All Bellamy wanted to do was keep his sister safe. Instead of saving her, he’s stuck in a safe house with her. She’s a Slytherin and the daughter of a Death Eater. He doesn’t trust Clarke; why should he?

Now, he’s stuck with her as they roam around the country, looking for places to stay safe and stay hidden. He quickly realizes that things could be worse. And… maybe Clarke isn’t as bad as he thought

Words: 326k

Kudos: 2248

I could talk about this fic forever because it’s the fic I’m most proud of. I worked so hard to write pmit and the response on it has been amazing. I don’t think anyone has ever been so supportive and excited about anything I’ve written before, so that was so, so cool.

Favourite story you’ve written so far?

Title: Paint me in Trust

Fic you were nervous to post?

Title: Simple Pleasures

Rated: Mature

Summary: Clarke is a medic from District 6. More importantly, she’s a dangerous criminal in the eyes of the Capitol. It isn’t a surprise when she is reaped for the 45th Hunger Games; it’s the only way for the Capitol to silence her.

Bellamy spent his life protecting his younger sister. When Octavia volunteers for the Games to honour their district, he knows it’s his responsibility to follow her into the arena. He would give anything for her to become the Victor, even his safety.

When they meet in the Capitol, Clarke can’t deny the connection she feels to him. He makes her feel more than a sacrifice. He makes her feel hope. She knows it’s dangerous to trust others, especially when in the arena, but why deny herself some final few simple pleasures?

Words: 367k

Kudos: 1250

I was so nervous to post this one because it was my first long multi-chapter fic I had planned! I used to write multi-chapter fics a long time ago for other fandoms and always struggled to finish, so I was really worried about that. AND I had just come off a several year long hiatus, and this was the biggest project I decided to tackle in a long time. AND I was super new to the Bellarke fandom when I started writing (I watched the show in May 2017-ish and I started writing this in July 2017), so I didn’t know what to expect. I had such a good time though and I am still super proud of this fic.

How do you choose your titles?

A lot of my titles are song lyrics or quotes. This and writing summaries are the BANE of my existence. @thesunwillshineclearer can vouch for this. I’ve cried to her for several nights this week about choosing titles and writing summaries because I suck at it.

Do you outline?

YES! I wouldn’t be able to write without it. Someone actually asked me about my outlining process recently, so I’ll go more in depth when I answer that ask (I’m still trying to figure out how to word it all). Basically, I outline every event by chapter, I include certain quotes that come to mind, I make notes about character arcs and emotions, etc. My outline for All That Remains is 13k words... just to give you a snapshot of how detailed I go.

Complete works?

96 on AO3

In-progress works?

2 multi-chapter fics that I’ve already begun to post. I have many other one-shots partially written in my drafts.

Coming soon/not yet started?

Here are some quick snapshots on one-shot ideas I’ve been working on:

Willex and dogs

Paint me in Trust fluff

Bellarke in the Star Wars universe

JATP soulmate AU

Willex exes

Prompts?

Not right now! I recently had them open to celebrate 1.5k followers on Tumblr, so now I’m working through those prompts!

Tagging: @eyessharpweaponshot @carrieeve @probably-voldemort @thelittlefanpire @sparklyfairymira @stealing-jasons-job @reggiesjams @mobi-on-a-mission @queen-of-the-wallflowers15 @queenemori @icantloseyou-too @animmortalist & anyone else who would like to participate (feel free to say I tagged you!)

[adamsvanrhijn]

fic writer interview

tagged by @sinceremercy AGES ago

Name: smithens on ao3

Fandoms: currently Downton Abbey, in a recent past life, Les Misérables. in more distant past lives, a whole host of things, many of which I don’t want to admit to

Where you post: pretty much exclusively ao3 except for ask prompts, which go to tumblr first and then get put on ao3 at some point after

Most popular one-shot: took no time with the fall, wherein Thomas calls Richard on the telephone and deals with some eavesdropping, which I posted a year and three weeks ago and am not even going to look at aside from linking it because I’m sure I have changed my mind on MANY things and will catch MANY errors in terms of things I now know about e.g. the zeitgeist

Most popular multi-chapter:  you will not take my heart, alive, which was my first Actual Thomas/Richard Fic, and it came in at just the right time right after the film was released to really rack up the hits & kudos. more recently, people are apparently REALLY vibing with hope keeps us standing, which has more subscribers and bookmarks every time I look at it, to my perplexity. 

Favourite story I’ve written so far: all of them are my babies? Hewwo? Hewwo! I have honestly written so much fucking content in the last 15 months, like, I don’t even know what to say. last year’s christmas fic love shall be our token is i think one of the best pieces i’ve ever written, and i really like that richard and that thomas, so it has a soft space in my heart. also good love from this past may...... VERY fond of that one.. maybe they are in the same universe! :-) I am also really loving the current AU taking over my brain

Fic you were nervous to post: here they are :-)

How do you choose your titles: song lyrics almost exclusively

Do you outline: yes and no! i do sometimes. for my long chaptered fics i may make docs that do not have full prose but do have what should be in the chapter in them, so i end up with folders populated like this:

my writing process is also completely nonlinear, e.g. here is like the first couple of pages of the next chapter in wtmstbws:

there are some placeholder words/phrases in there to remind me what i want to do to fill in the blanks

but otherwise no, I don’t really outline... I keep my thoughts in my brain or I write a few lines of dialogue and hope that future me will know what I was going for there

Complete: I don’t understand what this is asking? 45/62 of my DA works are complete, though!

In progress:  Which means 17 are WIPs. I’m a serial works-in-progress-poster. I want to wrap up several of them before 2021 and I also would like to get my complete/wip ratio down to 4:1 !!

Coming soon/not yet started: I think by my last count I had about ~300k unpublished words? and some of those are remaining content for those WIPs, but some of them are not!

Prompts: I take them!! I have resolved all of the ones I have had for DA except one, I think. My ask is in fact always open for them but also like - any time you request I write something you may be opening Pandora’s box, and also you need to accept that this may extend the time until something else you are following is finished hahaha

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: A very ridiculous and sprawling collaborative work may see the light of day sooner rather than later

tagging: @likehandlingroses @lacerta26 @saumenschliesel @infinity2020corner @aziraphalescrowley​ @darthmarx​. template under cut!

Name:  Fandoms: Where you post:  Most popular one-shot:  Most popular multi-chapter:   Favourite story I’ve written so far:  Fic you were nervous to post:  How do you choose your titles: . Do you outline:  Complete:  In progress:   Coming soon/not yet started: Prompts:  Upcoming work you’re most excited about:

[sunshinestrand-inactive]

Fic Writer Interview

Tagged by: @lire-casander, @brilliantbanshee, @letitialewiss, and @reyesstrand - Thank you lovelies 💛

Name(s): Paige

Fandom(s): 911: Lone Star.

Where you post: Here on tumblr or on my AO3

Most popular one shot (by kudos) overall/this year: Rose Petals with 178 total kudos. 

Most popular multi-chapter (by kudos) overall/this year: I don’t currently have any multichapter fics.

Favourite story you’ve written so far: What a hard question! I’m gonna do a top 3: Rose Petals - Because it’s one of my favourite tropes and because I put my entire heart and soul into that thing. It was also the first fic I’ve written to hit 6k words. When The Sky Falls Down - This fic was a severe self projection and I adored stepping into Carlos’ mind and portraying his emotions. It’s a very personal fic. And my most recent: The Best Nights because I just really love it, it was so fun to write. 

Fic you were most nervous to post: My first fic “I like coming home to you” because it was the first one I wrote for the LS fandom and the first I had written in three years. Also Rose Petals, cause it was the first long one. And I Have Never Known A Love Like This because it merged fandoms and I didn’t know if people would appreciate that lmao. 

How do you choose your titles?: Mostly from lyrics of songs. 

Do you outline?: No not really. Mostly because I only ever write one shots. But the AU I’m writing right now has an outline that’s 4k words long. But I love outlining so whenever I can do it, I enjoy it greatly. 

Complete: 23, which is as many fics as I’ve ever written for a fandom ever. 

In-progress: So many. I have... ahem... 63 documents of general ideas, work in progresses, and other notes. 

Coming soon/not yet started: I have 3 AUs coming along that I have talked about a lot. I have some little one shots started and my gift exchange fic is also coming later this month! 

Prompts?: I love them! Sometimes it takes me a while to write them just because I’m a perfectionist. I’m definitely going to post a prompt list sometime soon and take some requests. But anytime something comes into your mind, my inbox is always open! 

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: Same answer for the coming soon fics really. I am 6k words into the Hallmark AU so I’m starting to get really excited about that. Also my gift exchange fic because I love writing for other people! So! It’ll be so much fun. 

I think everyone has been tagged, but if you haven’t and you write then please feel free to say that I tagged you! 💛

[justoceanmyth]

Author Interview Tag!

I got tagged by a bunch of people, (  @the-last-cuddlebender, @penguinsledder, @thinkingisadangerouspastime) so I figured I should actually, y’know, fill the tag prompt (i don’t always answer these kinds of things as much as I want to bc I always get distracted and forget they exist)

Name: I am still underage (though not by very much or for very long) and so I’ll be keeping my real name off the internet until I am a baby no longer... which basically means within a year(stay tuned for my real first name? i guess??). You can call me Ocean though!

Fandoms: I hyperfixate, so there’s a good chance that if I’ve read it, watched it or played it, I have dipped my toes into the fandom at least once in search of more content. Ergo-- MCU, HP, Good Omens, Percy Jackson, other fandoms that I can’t think of now that I’m trying to list them bc that’s the way my memory works. I contain multitudes and lots of affection for my hyperfixations.

The only fandoms I’ve written for at this point are ATLA and one HP fic that. Yeah. Don’t look for it. It’s not *bad*--in fact for starting it at like 12 it’s something I’m really proud of--but it’s not something I want people to seek out either.

Where you post: If it’s short, I’ll post it here and ao3, but mostly to ao3, at OceanMyth.

Most popular one-shot: smells like home, which is Zuko-centric and therefore unsurprising that it’s in the top spot, followed by a sign of strength, which is about Toph discovering that Aang has tattoos. To be fair though, a bunch of my fics are really closely tied for ‘most popular’ because I haven’t been posting to ao3 for that long, which means that this changes frequently.

Most popular multi-chapter fic: It’s the HP fic that Must-Not-Be-Named. It’s the bracelets that bind us, sitting highest in hits, and high in kudos and comments as well. Which I’m glad about! I’ve reread the fic several time bc I really enjoyed writing it, and knowing that other people liked it too is really nice!

Favorite story you’ve written so far: This is probably a cop-out answer, but I really love most of my fics. Mainly because I try to write stuff that I wanted to read, and that makes them nice to look back on.

Fic you were nervous to post: This answer is also a bit weird, but I’m never really nervous when I post a fic. It’s about three seconds after I hit the post button that I get nervous and uncertain, and have to convince myself that it’ll be fine. And that happens regularly, every time I go to post something.

How you choose your titles: I have no idea. Sometimes it’s a song lyric that I carve and butcher until I think it works. Sometimes the perfect one pops into my head and I have to leave it, otherwise it will wilt and fade like a flower. Sometimes a semi-perfect one pops into my head, and then I have to knead out the potential like bread-dough. Sometimes they come to me when I hit my head against the table hard enough (I jest, please don’t do this). 

Titles are an arcane mystery, and I am simply a wannabe wizard, seeking out the answer to the universe.

Do you outline: YES. Yes. Yes I outline. I outline *everything* even my shortest oneshots, because my brain is full of holes and doesn’t like to write linearly all the time. 

Having even just the bare-bones of a structure to go and fill back in with scenes I think of while doing other stuff makes all the difference. I never think of my favorite scenes/dialogue while I’m in front of the screen, it’s always when I’m getting ready to sleep or shower, and being able to scribble down the idea and then add it to the outline is just *chef kiss*.

It also helps me to be able to bounce around from idea to idea, and get back into the flow more easily. (though recently the flow has been hard to come by, and generally put me into a bit of a block. I think I broke it though, which is good!)

Complete: Everything currently posted to my ao3! Which is a bad answer I know, but sometimes you just have to promote yourself. (18 fics, mostly oneshots)

In progress: I have four oneshots on my wip-oneshot document, and a long-fic in a separate file.

Coming soon: betting on the long game, snowday

Not yet started: Words That Look Like Music (still outlining, this is the longfic I mentioned above)

Do you accept prompts: Yes! Prompts, asks, whatever! However, I will say that just because I get a prompt, that... sadly doesn’t mean that I will write it, mainly bc I struggle with a ton of Executive Dysfunction as a result of my adhd, and also because I can wind up forgetting about it completely. (And when I finally *do* remember, I’ll feel guilty about it, but be too scared to post/answer)

Upcoming story you are most excited to write: Words That Look Like Music, because I’m going to be doing a *ton* of research and worldbuilding on writing systems and script  and soulmates and how that would work with the different nations & bending in ATLA.

Tagging: I’m 99% I am the last to this party and everyone I would tag has been tagged already... except maybe @cats-and-metersticks?

[thesunnyshow]

EPISODE 4: MILLY

Writing Blog URL(s): @bumblebeenct 

Name: Milly

Age: 18

Nationality: Welsh

Languages: English

Star Sign: Capricorn

MBTI: ISFP-T

What fandom(s) do you write for?

 I write for NCT, but I have written for Harry Potter in the past

When did you post your first piece?

Around the empathy era I’m pretty sure, 2018? I used to do moodboards only but I was inspired by other writers to give it a go

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why?

I find that I stick to the fluff/angst tropes because they’re easier to formulate because I can relate myself to the scenario more. I also find that its also more interesting to write angst because there's complications to a story that take longer to form and you have to really think about the different emotions the characters are feeling.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc?

I write x reader mostly, but at some point in the future I’m thinking of writing an OC purely because the concept I want to focus on has a particular emphasis on name and I don’t think it would work with y/n

Why did you start writing on Tumblr?

I used to use Wattpad but it was very difficult to promote myself and I struggled to meet anyone through it. On tumblr it was much easier to orientate and the community was so much nicer. 

What inspires you to write?

My mutuals! And other writers on tumblr, everyone is so supportive and kind it’s amazing. Also the feedback I sometimes get from readers, it makes me really happy whenever I get a comment or someone interacts with a piece I enjoyed writing, or alternatively when someone supports a fic I wasn’t confident in as it really boosts my confidence :)

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most?

School/ College aus because they’re very familiar and I am confident in getting the tropes and ideas right. But I also like works inspired by movies or songs because there’s so much to work from and it’s nice to see where you can take the plot and lyrics in your own story.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work?

That writing is for everyone, honestly at the end of the day I’m just a kid in my room writing stories about artists I’m a really big fan of. If you want to write you can, and you don’t have to necessarily be a “big” blog or writer to do it. 

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively?

Take a break, that’s my first port of call - usually in the method of food or I look at the inspiration material again, I listen to the song, read the lyrics, consult my friends and mutuals for help. It’s always good to be able to put something down to start again later when you’re struck with inspiration

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful?

My favourite personally at the moment (since one I really like is currently, as of answering this question, unpublished) is ‘Remember Me’ purely because it was the work I was the most passionate about writing and it really let me explore a new field of writing, since a lot of my stuff had been fluff before. My most successful in terms of notes is my Mark one shot ‘Sugar and Spice’ and I’m very proud of it.

Who is your favorite person to write about?

Park Jisung, my ult bias, I have to convince myself to write for other members sometimes as I often resist the urge to be a Jisung blog. However I have been enjoying writing for Mark and Hendery recently, as my other NCT biases

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose?

To a certain extent yes, it really depends on the writer. For many fanfiction stories, including ones we may label “cliche” the only difference is who it’s about, there are countless amazing fics I’ve read which I would assume could be made into a novel, the only thing making it fanfiction being the characters themselves.

What do you think makes a good story?

Feeling! There’s nothing that really constitutes a “good story” as it’s all subjective, but if you can read a story and feel what the characters feel, or even just see the emotions the writer is trying to portray then it’s definitely a good story. I’ve cried while reading most of, if not all my favourite stories.

What is your writing process like?

I plan first in a little notebook so I don’t forget any of my ideas or plans and then I try to churn it out whenever I have access to my computer, my speaker and a comfortable blanket. I like to “get in the zone” and then write as much as I possibly can. I usually think of ideas as I write so the notebook helps me put them in order and make sure I don’t get too ahead of myself.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story?

I have thought about it and honestly, I’m not sure. My fics are not series’ and they’re all very short - most of them under 4k so I’d have to turn the idea into a full length thing you know? But I have thought about doing the opposite with a very old original story of mine I’ve otherwise given up on but still holds a special place in my heart.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand?

I am a sucker for the enemies to lovers trope mainly because the character development in these stories can be so much more interesting and complex. On the other hand I’m not fond of “yandere” type fics, however I have read several well written ones which I cannot speak against because they were actually really good.

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you?

I’d say a lot, in terms of how much I write feedback means a lot to me - it’s also nice to hear what people think of things you’ve written because it’s a different view from your own and sometimes can boost confidence. I am also open to constructive criticism if any writers have any tips or suggestions for future works I’m always open to listen. 

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)?

When I see anyone interacting with my work it’s really rewarding and I love when people reblog with custom tags because it lets me know that people actually like what I do and to me, that’s a success.

Favorite color: Purple

Favorite food: Pasta

Favorite movie: Heathers (1988)

Favorite ice cream flavor: Cookie Dough

Favorite animal:  I would say bees, but I don’t think that counts so I’ll say dogs

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering?

Coffee, either black or a really fancy one with frothy milk

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)

 I’d love to be a singer honestly, but at the moment I’m working towards education I hope one day to be a lecturer

Go-to karaoke song

 Best Part by Daniel Caesar or Escape (the pina colada song) by Robert Holmes because it’s funny

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose?

 Stopping time because there’s so much you can do - except the question is, would I continue to age even if time has stopped?

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose?

My mind goes to two extremes, I think either ancient Greece because why not and the 1950’s purely for fashion and music.

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?

No, but I think if I could restart specific moments I would. There are so many good moments but some things you don’t want to relive even if you can change the outcome.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken?

100 chicken sized horses, I’d be terrified of a horse sized chicken it would probably be able to eat me and I’m not about that life, tiny horses I can deal with. Kill them with Kindness or whatever haha.

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been?

A mix of quiet teachers pet and loud side character friend. The duality kills me, I can be shouting with my friends one minute but whispering the minute the teacher asks me a question.

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures?

I’d like to, I think some are really cool and it would be amazing to live among them, but also some are dangerous, but I would love to see or meet some creatures. Imagine living with dragons man that would be epic.

What are some of your favorite hobbies and how did you get into them?

I really like reading, courtesy of Harry Potter, but I also enjoy singing and playing the piano which I started doing more often in secondary school when my piano teacher suggested I started to sing as well :)

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know?

I did Karate for about 10/11 years, and I’m a black belt *insert awkward smile here*

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged?

A lot of the time yes, there is a stigma around fanfiction and often paints us in a negative light but we just happen to be a community of creative fans who want to share and support the people we write about. But I can see where the stigma comes from, sometimes it can be taken a bit far and I am aware that some things make the artists themselves uncomfortable. I think if people who judge fanfiction are referring to it as a single idea it becomes unfair because it is all different, but I also think that writers of fanfiction themselves have to make sure they don’t cross any boundaries when writing that could make readers or the artist (if they ever happened to stumble across your work) uncomfortable.

Do you think art can be a medium for change?

Yes in some ways of course. Art is not only a way to express what the creator themselves is feeling but it is also a way to teach others about issues, prejudices and ideals. For literature specifically it allows you into the shoes of another person you may not have understood before, in art pieces there’s a clear message and encourages people to educate themselves on certain issues which in turn makes room for change.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself?

Sometimes if i’ve been suggested or requested to write something because it isn’t an idea that comes for me but mainly if I am aware that someone is waiting for a fic or someone has said they’re anticipating it I feel like I’m writing for others, but I don’t particularly mind it because it almost encourages me to write to a better standard.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times?

Not particularly, I'm often as clear as I can be when portraying meaning, or I will straight up say it in a different thread or to different people because I can’t keep secrets and I’m a sucker for a spoiler. Although I am constantly worried about the way I come off in messages and things like that - I am a terrible overthinker.

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr?

A few of my closest friends and other kpop stans I am friends with irl are aware of my blog and support me as much as they can with what little information I give them. I think only one of my irls has my url because she reads and I send her my binge reviews when I do them.

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers?

Thank you so much, honestly it’s cheesy but without them I don’t know where my blog would be. The amount of them surprises me everyday and I don’t think I believe it half the time. Also if anyone ever needs help or support or just wants a chat I’m open, its 100% likely that if you interact with me or my posts on the regular then I will recognise you when you come say hi, I’m not that scary I promise.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there?

Just do it! It’s better to get your stuff out there and circulating to get a better idea of what people like and where your strong suit is, the more you put out the more you grow. But if you’re scared, talk to other creators, we’re always open to help and we can let you know what to do, it was something that helped me out :)

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr?

When I first started there was a lot of struggle with me trying to figure out my style and what I wanted to do, and it was a learning curve of what can I do, what should I avoid and who am I doing this for. Sometimes when I’m really down I will question why I do it, but I never regret it because it has allowed me to make some wonderful friends and be exposed to some amazing creations and get more into something I’ve always liked doing, writing.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey?

I don’t want this to be too long, but I feel like it could be. I’ve met so many wonderful people and I love all of them so much, but in terms of being formative and supportive these are some of the people I talk to the most. @renjunwrites - I am a huge fan of Denise and to even be able to be in conversation with her about the stuff she writes is mindblowing to me, @nanasarea - nana was one of the first people I spoke to (before I joined discord) and was really accepting of my antics from day one. @glossyjaems - me and Louna have become very close recently and I can’t wait for our project to launch, keep an eye out for that. @mjlkau Anie is really one of the biggest supporters I have, always willing to read what I send her and give me support and love. There’s so many more people I’d love to mention but this would go on forever, to anyone ever involved in my writing process I’m thinking of you as I write this and I love you all (I feel really bad not talking about every single one omg).

Ending thoughts:

“We’ll be alright, I want to try again” - Try Again d.ear (ft. Jaehyun) because this is something I hold close, ‘try again, we’ll all be alright in the end’

BONUS: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL

Interested in your very own episode of The Sunny Show? Find out how to apply here.

[uwunnie]

Update + Week 1 recap (Nov.7, 8:21 PM US Mountain Time)

Today marked the final day of the first week since this whole ordeal began. Truthfully, it feels like we somehow transported to the Dramarama video because time seemed to stop, but alas, here we are.

For the recap, I’m not going to put specific dates, but for today’s update, I will title it as such. You’ll see - this should be a pretty easy format to follow (tiki-taka),

For the sake of everyone’s timelines, the recap and update begin after this read more.

-

When news broke out regarding a Wonho’s sudden departure on October 31 (US and the like time-zones), may have been November 1 for other zones, there really weren’t that many updates in the way of efforts to bring him back. That day was full of shock, so everyone was more angry and depressed - even more so compared to now.

But after a day or two, Monbebes managed to channel their emotions into a bigger cause: Bringing Wonho home, and bringing him home we will.

Let’s recap:

Twitter Monbebes, Carter and Kei, organized the GoFundMe to raise $10,000 USD to purchase an ad in NY Times Square.

Within 45 minutes of initial service, the goal had been met.

After a couple days, the donations kept piling in and finally, as of November 3 - the GoFundMe closed at $25,102 USD ($15,102 USD over the original goal).

The ad’s payment was successful and the ad went up! However, my understanding is that the ad’s run-time ends in a few hours.

Ad’s location: New York, 42nd St. and 7th Ave., facing east.

Photos of the ad:

Reads: We shine brighter as a family, then proceeds to list each name of OT7 along with their logo and a photo of OT7 together with MONBEBE on the photo.

The board kicked off on November 6 and ran 30 times per hour for 15 seconds all day except 2-5 AM.

-

A petition calling to keep Wonho a member of Monsta X was published. Within a week, the petition is still going pretty strong with over 400k signatures. The goal is 500k, so I predict it will reach its goal within the next week.

The petition can be found here.

In addition, more projects/campaigns have been released since then and can be found in this master-post here.

Since this day, however, more projects have been revealed, so once I compile all of them, I’ll add them to the previous link.

Let’s remember:

K-MBB left sticky notes on Starship Ent.’s building. Eventually, within a few hours, a staff member was photographed collecting them.

News outlets began reporting about Monbebe efforts to bring Wonho back, thus bringing more attention to our goal.

Celebrities reached out and showed their support of Monsta X.

Monbebes began writing everyone to spread awareness - spanning as far as contacting Moon Jae-in, South Korea’s president.

Naver (shockingly) released a positive article - something that’s very rare.

Efforts are still being made to spread more awareness through physical ads in South Korea.

K-MBB’s held a silent protest outside of Starship Ent.

International fans flew to South Korea to participate.

Staff said they can and will welcome Wonho back.

Staff also helped Monbebes greatly:

Met with MBB’s on the day of the silent protest to help them cut out banners.

These plaques read, “I do not want to remain just a memory,” which are lyrics from If Only.

Supported MBB’s in the fan cafe - even went as far as changing their icons, I believe, to photos of Wonho.

Continued collecting MBB sticky notes and even provided tissues at the protests for those who were crying.

Continue encouraging us to continue with our efforts.

Other fandoms have showed their support for Monsta X and MBB.

International MBB are still organizing a silent protest from what I’ve seen circulating the web.

For Minhyuk’s birthday, MBB adopted four whales as gifts. One is a southern humpback named Monbebe, another a blue whale adopted in Minhyuk’s name. I’ve heard another one was named Monsta X, but don’t quote me on it because I’m not 100% sure.

Minhyuk’s birthday tag also reached #1 worldwide trend.

A set of stars were also purchased and named Lee Hoseok and Monsta X.

NY-MBB got a dance group to dance to Follow.

UK-MBB are hosting fundraisers in efforts to raise money for a central London billboard.

As I stated prior, all sorts of ad efforts were, and still are being, made.

Over 30 tags have consecutively trended worldwide for one week - many of them reaching -#1 trend several times.

K-MBB’s used the original fan chant during one of the performances for Follow’s promotions. If you don’t know what I’m referring to, it means that they used the OT7 chant including Wonho’s name.

300 fans were allowed into the Inkigayo recording - 100 over its normal capacity.

Tower Records, international music franchise store, showed their support in their Japan branch’s sector through MX signs and posters.

MX reminders:

Wonho is still active on the fan cafe.

Majority of the members have been active on the fan cafe.

Minhyuk posted this for his birthday:

Changkyun posted this two days ago:

Wonho is still on Starship’s official site.

This photo was posted a day or two ago:

For those that may not understand, the white ink is circling Wonho’s signature and name on the wristband. Some people claimed it doesn’t matter because those bands are pre-made, but to that I’d like to point out that those bands are made out of paper and his name is printed/signed on the end, so it would have been very easy for staff to cut off the end part if they really wanted to, or were instructed to do so.

This was circulating the web:

Speculations:

Nov. 7: Shownu wore Wonho’s shirt.

Nov. 7: Kihyun wore Wonho’s earrings.

Nov. 7: Hyungwon wore Wonho’s chain.

Nov. 7: Changkyun wore Wonho’s, or a similar, earpiece.

Nov. 7: Our boys left a space for Wonho at the end of their performance. Take a look here and see what you think.

Nov. 2: MX left a space for Wonho during Follow and Find You.

Nov. 2: Jooheon’s lyrical slip-up could have been in protest of what’s occurring.

In regards to this speculation, he did this recently again as well, so my interpretation is that it’s probably related to the protest as well as exhaustion.

Starship info and overall legal matters:

As far as my knowledge extends, this is the ONLY official statement SS has released:

The explanation/speculation of this letter can be found here.

SS is involved in their own, personal, controversy. I’ve made past posts regarding the situation, but for the sake of not stirring the pot, so-to-speak, I’m going to exclude them from this particular post. Until further information about their situation is released, or I feel it’s becoming a detriment to MX, I will bite my tongue.

In regards to 🐻’s controversy, SS confirmed the photos were manipulated (fake).

🐻’s searches have been cleared, at least from my knowledge. I’ve been told that they have been, but I’m not entirely sure if they’ve come back or anything.

I know a lot of people messaged me that particular night in regards to a YouTube video talking about 🐻’s situation and everyone was concerned it would spark up the searches again. I didn’t want to say anything until I saw the video taken down, but I messaged KJ and explained the situation to him. He had no ill intent with his video - in fact, he was trying to help clear the negative rumors revolving around MX. He was just simply unaware that, unfortunately, any publicity regarding 🐻’s situation would trigger the searches again, so I explained this to him and told him about MBB efforts. He completely understood and removed the video.

-

Updates from November 7:

MX received their 2nd win!

The video and post involving Hyungwon’s speech can be found here. HIGHLY recommend watching it.

GOT7 congratulated and hugged each member, and E-Dawn congratulated Changkyun.

Only 10 Monbebes were allowed inside for the performance, so Ahgases (GOT7’s fan club) held up Monsta X light sticks during our boys’ performance in place for the MBB not allowed in. Ahgase also helped MBB with the live voting.

In other words: Ahgase and Monbebe are each other’s sweethearts. 💚🤧💜

Jooheon told MBB not to cry.

They held a fan-sign to which:

Wonho’s photo was projected on the screen behind them. A link to the photo can be found here.

K-MBB informed MX of the Times Square ad.

Changkyun stayed this is the last week of promotions.

Kihyun said he will do a cover of Believer.

I think Shownu earned his PhD? Or is going to?

Jooheon confirmed the release of the studio version of Sambakja, or he said he might. I’ve seen people talking about both, so I can guarantee 100%, but Jooheon, if you’re reading this - please.

Trends continue meaning we’ve successfully trended for one week straight.

Eshy:

Voting for MAMA has been open and Monsta X is a nominee in all except a couple categories.

There’s two ways to vote:

Voting for them in specific categories on the website, here.

Voting on Twitter as well by utilizing:

#MAMAVOTE #monstax

Current twitter tags to trend as well:

#LoveUWonho

#우리_항상_네_곁에_있을게요

@/OfficialMonstaX

@/STARSHIPent

-

Overall reminders:

Do not engage in fan wars.

Do not engage in any hate towards the duo. I’ve said this in the past and it’s practically been confirmed: They’re trying to gather sympathy through the situation they’ve caused by trying to play victim. Popular sites are posting articles painting them in positive undertones and netizens are starting to support them because of the hate they’re getting on their social platforms and what not. Those comments can also be collected and utilized in the ongoing legal case, so please, do NOT engage with them. Instead, channel your energy into MAMA voting, campaigns/projects, trends, and other positive things that will bring Wonho home to us.

Messages to MX, project created by @wonderlanddragon, ends Nov.8/9. The posted regarding the details can be found in the campaign link above!

Bunnies for Wonho, created by @thoughtsfromaclutteredbrain, has been ongoing now. They’ve also planned a new project for a video, so please send in your favorite Wonho moment along with your name and/or nickname to them!

@stay-dont-strayy creates an International MBB project. You can find the info on their blog!

Kpop group chats have been created, links here.

@sezy001234 has also created five tumblr kpop group chats, so hit her up for details on everything!

I’ve also made a kpop tumblr group chat, so if you’d like to be added, send in an ask or message!

The source to find the bunny 7-1=0 profile pictures can be found here in seven different colors.

You can leave letters/sweet messages to the boys on the fan cafe. Please be mindful of the situations at hand when doing so and also, give a little extra love to our baby, Changkyun. MBB at the fan-sign have mentioned that he seems to be struggling the most and tbh, it’s been very visible in his performances and photos.

All seven are trying to be strong for us, so let’s try our best to be strong for them. ❤️

-

We’ve made it through the first week, babes.

We can do it time and time again.

I love you all. ❤️🤧

Let’s bring our bunny home. ❤️🐰

(Posting: Nov. 8, 3:05 AM US Mountain Time // yes, it took me this long to make lol)

[dweemeister]

As tagged by @themusicmoviesportsguy! Holy crap everyone, I ramble. Apologies!

rules: tag 9 people who you want to know better / catch up with and then answer these questions

TAGGING (I’m tagging more than 9 because it’s been a while): @derricklogan2, @dog-of-ulthar, @introspectivemeltdown, @maximiliani, @memetoilet, @mundi41, @myluckyerror, @neverwasastoryofmorewhoa, @plus-low-overthrow, @sadisticsunglasses @theybecomestories, and @voicetalentbrendan. Anybody else who wants to do this can do this as well!

last song: From the radio (yes, I listen to RADIO)... “Windy” by The Association. I’m historically terrible at getting lyrics correctly no matter the era or genre - I don’t remember the first time I ever googled a song’s lyrics, but I probably was very excited to correct myself. As might be very understandable in this instance, I thought this song was “Wendy” for a long time. But if the YouTube comments are to go by, more than a few Wendys like this song!

last movie: On a rewatch? The Three Caballeros (1944; my write-up from five years ago is in the link). It’s a fascinating film from its unabashed use of color, a very early melding of animation and live-action, Donald Duck lusting over human women (wouldn’t Daisy be jealous?), and the two charismatic co-leads in Jose Carioca and Panchito Pistoles. It’s no propaganda film, but I guess the movie did its job from preventing former Nazis and fascists from settling in Latin America to escape punishment for their deeds!

As a film completely new to me? Lone Wolf and Cub: Baby Cart at the River Styx (1972, Japan). It’s the second of a six-film series based on the manga Lone Wolf and Cub. I passed on writing a review for the first film, as I will for the rest of the series (at least for now). I’m not the biggest fan of the decision in samurai movies to have the blood spraying out of crumpling bodies like a pressure hose, but I see why this series appeals. Outside of The Mandalorian, I’m surprised that the Lone Wolf and Cub series hasn’t influenced more movies and television - the action scenes are strikingly staged from what I’ve seen so far (the first two films).

currently reading: When it comes down to a presidential election season, this sounds a bit sad, but this is usually the least likely time that I am reading any book for fun. The United States’ and Orange County’s handling of the pandemic has also contributed to this. So other than the numerous news articles and feature pieces, I’ve read several essays on certain films I’m writing on in the coming days. Thankfully (or unfortunately depending on how you see it), there has been a lot written about Elvis movies - the good, the bad, and the mediocre. There’s a lot of mediocre Elvis movies. I’m gonna need help soon from classic Bollywood-knowledgeable friends, though.

currently watching: If you’re reading this, I’m sure you’re pretty tired of the Gargoyles and Gravity Falls spam on this blog in recent weeks. My sister and I finished both recently and I am attempting to complete both series’ summer run in the queue on August 31. After that, both will appear more sporadically. I think the best thing for GF is to cycle it in the queue every summer, similar to how I restrict certain Peanuts specials to a specific part of the year (and how I mostly restrict Over the Garden Wall’s appearances on this blog to autumn, especially October). But that’s the recent past.

Right now, two extremely different animated series. The first is The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (thank you to my friend for sharing her Disney+ account). My sister and I haven’t seen the series in ~20 years, and I was curious to see if it has held up. I think, as an extension of the original Disney Winnie the Pooh films and A.A. Milne’s works, it’s exceptionally respectful to young children and the parents that would presumably be watching with them. That’s hard to do. For a late ‘80s/early ‘90s series, the backgrounds are drop-dead gorgeous and you can tell Disney threw a lot of money at this series. The other TV series is Star Trek: Lower Decks. We’re only three episodes in, so no judgments from me yet... I don’t understand people who base their television criticism based on less than half a season.

Currently sitting in the DVR awaiting to be completed is The Little Colonel (1935), starring Shirley Temple, Lionel Barrymore, and Bill “Bojangles” Robinson. This is the film with the famous staircase dance between Temple and Robinson* (who struck up an interracial, intergenerational friendship that lasted until Robinson’s death). Given all the problematic films that are featured on this blog, I’m just curious why I haven’t been cancelled yet.

* Yes, I linked the black-and-white original. I fucking refuse to promote colorized prints of black-and-white films for reasons of artistic integrity (unless the colorization was done in consultation/with the approval of the principal creative figures... the instances of which are close to zero).

currently craving: If you can call a trip to the movie theater a craving, sure! Though it may be a craving, California won’t be letting those open for a while. And I don’t feel safe going to a theater upon reopening. It probably will be many months - maybe *shudder* a year - at the rate things are going.

working on anything rn?: *deep breath* These are almost all long-term things...

Thinking about a career pivot.

An extremely informal consultancy gig I’m doing with an old professor of mine on a documentary film she is spearheading.

Continued archiving of all My Movie Odyssey reviews onto Google Drive (this has stalled lately due to the above). The archiving is being done in the hopes of launching a parallel blog in 2021 (WordPress? something else?) which would contain only my movie reviews - this tumblr would remain (and the reviews will still be posted here) for as long tumblr is a viable medium to attract a new reader or two.

Making mental notes about how to approach this blog’s next marathon (“Women Make Film” - Tuesday evenings from Sept. 1-Dec. 1).

In October, I’ll start making preparations for the preliminary rounds of the 2020 Movie Odyssey Award for Best Original Song. Of course we’re doing it again!

And of course, the Movie Odyssey write-ups.

currently playing: Nothing at this moment, but I do admit having a Civilization VI phase in recent months (I suck and barbarians stress me out - yes I know you’re supposed to take out the scout ASAP). That may or may not pick up again.

[taste-in-music]

My Favorite Hit Songs of 2019

This year’s crop of popular music was... absolutely bonkers? I mean, this year we had Billie Eilish crash into the mainstream, Lizzo managed to get multiple hits out of songs she released nearly three years ago, the Jonas Brothers made a comeback, and the longest-running #1 hit in Billboard history became a rap/country crossover that got its start on Tik Tok made by a complete nobody and the dad from Hannah Montana. I’m going to admit, this list was pretty hard to put together, as I found it hard to find 10 songs that I genuinely loved that were hits this year. Despite that, the sheer absurdity of this year’s popular music gave me a spark of hope going into the new decade. For this list, I’ll be selecting my favorite songs off of Billboard’s year end Hot 100 songs list. I’m ready to recount this year in music, so...

10) Sucker by Jonas Brothers I never watched the Jonas Brothers show or listened to their music back when they were big on Disney, so I’ve got no nostalgic investment in them. However, this was a fun comeback to watch play out. This song was pretty dang good for a while, with the funky guitars and the instantly catchy lyrics. It reminded me of “Feel It Still” by Portugal. The Man. Then it got the point where three separate radio stations were playing it at the same time, and now I can barely stand it. I think that after the radio releases this song from its clutches it will warm up on me again though, because I do like it overall.

9) Better by Khalid The strongest attribute of this song is its ATMOSPHERE. The beat, melody, and vocal delivery all compliment one another perfectly, combining to create a smooth, almost sexy sound that washes over you with ever listen. I also like the Daft-Punk-y vocoded lines that pop in at the end, they’re so unexpected and yet they fit in perfectly. I've always loved Khalid’s vocal timbre, it’s so chill and yet warm at the same time. The only thing I can’t praise about this is the lyrics, because I have no clue what they are. Khalid, bless his sweet soul, cannot enunciate. It’s the same problem I have with Ariana Grande. I love your voice, I want to know what you’re saying! 

8) Trampoline by SHAED Give me the hipster points, because guess who knew about this song before it was cool! I’ve loved SHAED’s music for some time now, so it’s been thrilling to watch this song climb the charts and for them to get the recognition and success that they deserve. While this song isn’t my favorite by them, (that slot would probably be reserved for “Perfume” or “Melt,”) it does showcase the group’s strengths, which are emotive vocals and glossy electronic production. I love the effervescent backing vocals and bubbling keys that pepper this song, it gives the song a floaty feel while still keeping it tense. 

7) Old Town Road by Lil Nas X ft. Billy Ray Cyrus I can’t think of a piece of music in recent memory that has captured the public’s attention so swiftly and so completely, and you know what? Sometimes something gets big because it’s good. This song, despite all the memes and jokes and radio play and oversaturation, never ever got old to me. Every time it comes on, it puts a giant, goofy smile on my face, and I sing along to the whole thing. I want Lil Nas X to stick around, but even if he doesn’t, I want what this song represents, genre blending, trend-bucking, and a sense of fuck-it fun, to stay.

6) bury a friend by Billie Eilish Out of all the strange hits we had this year, this was the weirdest one to hear on the radio. It doesn’t have a classic structure! It’s about the monster under your bed! It’s got nothing but a shuffle beat, bass, and the sound of dental drill! It just doesn’t belong on the airwaves next to songs like “ME!” or “I Don’t Care.” Despite that, I’m beyond happy that Billie Eilish is bringing a bit of emo weirdness to the mainstream, because if the success of her music, specifically this song, says anything, it’s that pop is heading in a far scarier and more experimental direction. And I’m on board with that. 

5) break up with your girfriend, i’m bored by Ariana Grande The groove on this song is fantastic. The combination of eerie synths, bass, reverbed backing vocals, and rolling snares makes it feel tight and controlled, but also loose and flowing at the same time. There was a lot of pushback against this song due the sentiment of the lyrics, but it’s not like Ariana is unaware that she’s the bad guy in this position. There’s enough indifference and sarcasm in her delivery to show that she’s self aware. This was probably my favorite out of the hit singles from the thank u, next era, (”thank u, next” is great but got a bit old to me, and I don’t care for “7 Rings.”) 

4) Circles by Post Malone  This is embarrassing to admit, because I rarely, if ever, enjoyed any music Post Malone has put out in the past. But this song just hits different. The instrumental feels more acoustic-driven and has a nice pulse to it, projecting a warmth and comfort that none of his other songs have. This was a perfect hit for Autumn, being chill and relaxing enough for Summer, but the underlying bass groove makes you want to move into the productive patterns of the school year. If Post Malone made more music like this I’d reckon I’d enjoy his music quite a bit. 

3) Dancing With A Stranger by Sam Smith ft. Normani Sometimes radio filler turns out to be spectacular. The ambiance this track builds is relaxing but in an otherworldly kind of way, forming a soundscape of echoing drums and whispering synths. I’ve always stood by the opinion that Sam Smith sounds really good with an electronic beat under them, it helps their great voice move in a more free-flowing way. Normani also sounds amazing on this song, her vocals dipping into smokier territory, and when the two sing together they play off one another’s performances with ease. 

2) Sweet But Psycho by Ava Max Who predicted this in their last year’s hit song’s list? This bitch! I was so happy to see this hit the U.S. charts, you have no idea. It was such a breath of fresh air in that it was so splashy, sugar-sweet, and unabashedly pop. The lyrics are some of the silliest of the whole year, (”she’s poison but tasty” makes me chuckle every time,) but it doesn’t matter. The addictive melodies and the earnestness in Ava Max’s performance make them sound like Shakespearean poetry, or at least like she believes that they’re Shakespearean poetry. 

Should Have Been Hits

Cruel Summer by Taylor Swift This should’ve been a single. I get why Taylor chose the singles she did, but this was primed to be a Summer smash, with the glossy synths and vocoded backing vocals and soaring chorus. We were robbed. Robbed, I tell you!

Graveyard by Halsey While “Without Me” got all the glory, this is my favorite of all the Halsey singles we’ve gotten so far by a wide margin. It’s the only one that I’ve made the conscious choice to listen to on my own time for one. I love the way the production rushes as the chorus hits, and the synths that sparkle throughout the verses, and Halsey’s reserved performance.

3 Nights by Dominic Fike This was a hit in the U.K., and I even heard it on a few alternative stations, so why no cross over? If there was any song that should have been the chill Summer hip hop hit, it should have been this. This song is weirdly addictive, the chorus is so inexplicably catchy that once you hear it one time through you will know all the words to it. 

Blame It On Your Love by Charli XCX ft. Lizzo When the mainstream decide that it didn’t need Charli XCX? Because it’s wrong, it needs her very, very badly. The success of “1999″ in the U.K., the name recognition, and the Lizzo feature should’ve been more than enough to boost this onto the charts, but I guess we didn’t want an instantly catchy and fun EDM pop song on the radio. Oh well. 

Motivation by Normani Normani and Lauren are my favorite Fifth Harmony members, so I’ve been rooting for their solo careers like nobody’s business. This single in particular had so much potential: a bouncy beat, a stamp of approval from Ariana Grande, and a kick-ass music video filled with impressive choreography. I hope this gets a bigger push into next year, because Normani is a wildly talented performer that deserves success outside of her collaborations. 

Guilty Pleasures

bad guy by Billie Eilish This was a good song, just not my favorite off the album, or of the hits, (I prefer ”bury a friend,” obviously, and “when the party’s over,” which made last year’s list.) Still, watching this idiosyncratic little tune become one of the biggest pop smashes of the year was enthralling. Like “bury a friend,” it was so strange to hear this on the radio. 

Close To Me by Ellie Goulding ft. Diplo & Swae Lee When a melody gets its claws in me, there’s nothing I can do about it. This is not Ellie Goulding at her best, (I’ll admit that I miss the days of “Lights,”) but the way she delivers the hook on this song is absolutely infectious. I’m not the biggest Swae Lee fan, but he’s fine here too. I never minded when this song came on the radio. 

This year was a bit of a roller coaster for me. Needless to say, there were several instances where I felt quite a bit of stress and insecurity, and oftentimes, I would turn to music to make myself feel better. There was one song in particular that a friend of mine, @hasanminajs​, introduced me to, that instantly became a beacon of self-appreciation and enjoyment to me throughout the year. And when I tell you that I have never been happier to hear a song on the radio than I have with this one, I'm telling the truth. 

1) Truth Hurts by Lizzo I have never rooted for a song’s success like I have for this one, and watching a hip hop track this bouncy, confident, and enigmatic climb the charts was an absolute joy. There are so many great punchlines in this song, from “why men great till they gotta be great?” to “I don’t play tag bitch, I’ve been it,” to the ever-iconic “I just took a DNA test, turns out, I’m 100% that bitch.” This song raised the standards for lyricism in the mainstream. I want Lizzo to be huge, I want her to be influential, I want her to be one of the biggest pop stars of the next decade if not longer. Everything about this song, from its production to its message to its performance makes me smile. And you know what? Sometimes that’s all that pop music needs to do. 

Do you agree with this list? What were your favorite hit songs of 2019? Leave a comment and let me know!