#I know I should probably sign everything but I can't be bothered + have too many unsigned things to start doing it out of nowhere +

[notonlymice]

I can't believe I have to spell it out but if you really really want to repost something you saw on tumblr to some other platform please credit the original creator??? And no, "credit to the owner" does NOT count 🙄🙃

[yanderefarm]

yandere butler x reader

cw;; drugging, non-con implied, blood, murder, violence

Its not easy being the northern duke of a nation run by a mad man. It's not easy having everything you've ever known destroyed so quickly leaving you alone without any guidance. It's not easy sitting in your frozen castle in the north dealing with food shortages and monsters and religious weirdos. Nothing about this is easy but it used to be, when the halls were filled with your mother's laughter and your little footsteps running to and fro. Now the halls are empty and cold and your footsteps never make a sound.

You straighten your back with a deep breath as you ready yourself to greet your guest. The Dvolin Marquis and his family are here, presumably to try and set you up with his eldest daughter. It's a common occurrence that you'll be harassed at least a few times by every noble woman in the country for your hand in marriage. You'll turn her down just like you have everyone else.

As you descend down the stairs you notice that your butler gives you a little wink before he begins to guide your guests to the drawing room. You can't help but smile knowing that even with this exhausting waste of time he's prepared your favorite dessert.

Of course as expected the meeting is short. You tell them plainly you are not currently looking for a wife and then they try to argue with you. The marquis tries to get more time to change your mind by insisting that you not cast them out into the snow after their long trip and out of politeness you offer them your guest rooms. Your butler gives them the tour while you return to the office with a headache.

As you sit at your desk trying to finish signing documents your eyes keep closing. Your head is so heavy. You've never been so tired in your life. Your eyes flutter close as you hear the door of your office open. Knowing your butler he probably already knew you were tired and had brought a blanket. He smelled really sweet today too.

...

Phillip had of course noticed your sudden exhaustion and even more concerning the disappearance of the Dvolin daughter during his tour. He can't stand bottom feeding scum like this who dare to bother you or even worse actively try to hurt you. It's hard to keep his composure when he opens your office door and finds this woman moving your unconscious body to the floor. Still he must remain professional.

"It seems as if his grace has fallen asleep. I ask that you not move him." He smiles as politely as he can muster.

"Oh- He-he was having some kind of problem he said his clothes were too tight before he fainted." She tried her best to look innocent and helpless.

"Then you should have alerted his staff immediately. In fact, why were you here to begin with?" He stepped closer to make sure you were still breathing normally. Just asleep like he said.

"You.. You're right I should have said something but I was so worried! You should be lucky I'm here to help your master."

"And you should learn your manners. Allow me to educate you." Phillip pulled out his riding crop and rested it against his hand.

His smile dropped as he hovered above her. "Lesson one. If you think a filthy lowlife like you could ever deserve my master you're too stupid to learn anything."

...

When you woke up the sun had started to set and you were laying on the lounge of your office, three different blankets wrapped around your body. The one who had woken you was a young maid who was out of breath and panicking as she shook you.

"Your grace! The marquis and his family have gone to the monster territory! They won't listen to reason!"

You clattered to your feet and grabbed your fur coat and your sword. Running out into the snow only to find Philip standing at the gate with his head hung and his coat hit with the unmistakable splattering of blood.

[married-to-google-translater]

Can you do yandere Claude faustus and Sebastian Michaels with pregnant reader if you haven't already done that (also I'm new to your blog so I don't know if you do any yandere/dark thing if not just ignore my request)

Hey I hope you like this <3

Yandere Claude Faustus

Well, this wouldn't be a surprise

Claude thought this would be the perfect way to tie you to him.

This would also be a sign to all outsiders who you belong to.

Claude would already be really possessive.

And this is accentuated during your pregnancy.

You really can't do anything alone.

Claude is always close by to watch over you.

You really couldn't escape him.

Say goodbye to all your privacy.

He loves you and your soul very much.

And he doesn't want anything to happen.

Because you can always hurt yourself by accident…or "accidentally"

The pregnancy was not necessarily very wanted.

Claude doesn't want to take any risks.

He thinks you are really valuable.

Probably Claude doesn't care that much about the kid.

It doesn't bother him that the child exists.

But Claude cares more about you.

You should also behave well during your pregnancy.

Claude would easily take away comforts if you misbehaved.

Yandere Sebastian Michaels

This demon must have planned this.

Sebastian is good with mental manipulation.

At this time, social pressures would be great.

Now you surely couldn't leave him.

You want a good life for your child, don't you?

Although it is admitted that Sebastian would have preferred a cat.

But the child is also doing really well.

Sebastian would be proud of himself.

This would be a sign to everyone else that you were taken.

This idea could work if Sebastian would let you leave the house during your pregnancy.

But he really doesn't.

The outside world is already too dangerous.

And when you're pregnant it's even more dangerous.

Sebastian won't let anyone or anything hurt you.

So you really stay inside.

He would probably kidnap you as soon as he finds out about your pregnancy.

Sebastian would do everything to make your time pregnant as comfortable as possible.

Almost every wish of yours will be fulfilled.

There are no punishments either.

However, don't overuse it.

Sebastian remembers these actions even after your pregnancy.

[matchalovertrait]

The day after Caruso posted his video, Dulce responded with one of her own to disprove his false claims about the "stolen" recipes. She brought up her extensive list of culinary experiences and screenshots of everything related to the cookbook when it was in progress. However, the damage had been done. Too many people turned their backs on Dulce. As everything came crashing down, she slowly stopped responding to her family and friends. Of course, everyone was alarmed. You can't just not respond like that out of the blue, especially when you're overseas! Now that Ángel and Esperanza have come to save the day, Dulce is looking to sue Caruso for defamation. I did say to never get into legal trouble with her! This marks the rebirth of Alegría VS Caruso!

Note: I am getting political here. As Election Day in the United States is around the corner, I urge people to fact-check everything. I'm seeing too many people on other social media platforms not doing the proper research. They see a video of one thing and take it as the sole truth. It seems like people have forgotten how to use Google, which is right at our fingertips. Make sure you're looking at reliable sources!

Transcript:

Dulce: I swear! That better not be him. A lot of people didn’t believe me or they didn’t bother to watch my explanation video. How am I supposed to recover from this?

Ángel: Dulce!

Dulce: Ángel and Esperanza?!

Ángel: Why haven’t you been answering anyone’s phone calls or texts??? It’s been 2 days.

Dulce: My career is over. My numbers are plummeting. People are crossing out my name on my cookbook and writing his name instead. Clients are canceling bookings with me. His crazy fans are giving me fake bad reviews. I’m through.

Esperanza: So what? It hasn’t been that long. Things can pick back up, Dulce. Why don’t you get your chef friends to vouch for you?

Dulce: I don’t want to rope anyone into my mess..

Esperanza: [Sighs] You know what? It’s sad to see you like this. Aren’t you going to plot something?

Dulce: I’ve done enough harm as it is! What do I do??? Sue him??? Oh wait, I already thought of that! I looked into it and no good lawyer wants to take the case. They’d rather represent actual stars like Judith Ward. I need to take this as a sign and finally grow up.

Ángel: C’mon, you know you want to do it.

Dulce: You’re encouraging it...? You don’t want to teach me a valuable life lesson like always?

Ángel: I think you learned your lesson. Make him learn his now.

Esperanza: My dad and Hilary both said they can help you pay for a REALLY good defamation lawyer. I think Hilary was freaking out the most about you not answering.

Ángel: Well, we all kinda were. You had Ama worried sick. But we didn’t file a missing person’s report because your friend came by and saw you well alive through your window.

Dulce: Oh, man. Dani probably got nervous and ran off. She never came to knock on the door.

Ángel: She’s a skittish one, isn’t she?

Dulce: Yeah, I have to apologize to her for not responding to her texts either. She knows about everything, but she might feel like she’s annoying me because I haven’t answered.

Esperanza: Wait, isn’t she a paralegal?

Dulce: Oh my gosh, you’re right! How’d I forget that? She might know someone who can help!

Ángel: Looks like we have a plan, then.

Esperanza: Um, I think part of this plan should be helping you clean up this place. Go put detergent in the washer, Ángel. I’ll get the clothes.

Dulce: My clothes??? Oh, no. They’ve been washed and dried. I just haven’t put them away. The only mess here is in my mind.

[wisteria-lotus]

Repeated Mistakes

Content warning: Small amount of gore, includes bloodshed, angst with no comfort (please notify if anything is missing)

Written by: Lotus☪︎ ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆

Edited by: Wisteria

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

-660 BCE-

The palace was silent except for the constant scurries of a few workers hoping to finish their job as quickly as possible. It was supposed to be a bright, sunny evening but nothing could be happy when Zayne was having one of the worst  days. The throne room felt different, no one chattering or gossiping, it was empty and vast, nothing but cold air filling it. It was always such a loud and vibrant room, filled with people drinking and playing music but this time, only a single person was in the room. Zayne was perched atop his throne and his knuckles turned white as he gripped the arms of the chair. He was breathing heavily and his eyes that were once a beautiful mix of green and brown were darkened with a dark tint over it. His head was constantly throbbing with indescribable pain and his heart throbbed with hurt that piled up on each other for months. He couldn’t stop thinking about her, it hurt so much to even imagine.

The throne room was now filled with sharp shards of ice from his uncontrollable evol. His emotions were getting in the way once again. He had to keep his evol in check… or else, who knows what could happen? He could hear the gods taunting him and dug his nails into his palm, a crimson red dropping onto one of the shards of ice. The throne room filled with a cold, icy mist.

“I can't do this anymore… haven’t I given enough? What more do you want from me?!” 

Zayne shook in rage and frustration while a single tear dropped down his face. He rubbed his eyes and noticed what he had done to the room. He stood up from his throne and said to himself, “I should start acting like an actual duke.. What am I doing with myself?” He grit his teeth and walked outside the throne room, entering a long hallway. Everything was so blurry and he could barely walk properly. “My evol, it's getting too uncontrollable for me.” His heart beat increased with each and every step as he made it to his office. Zayne collapsed onto his chair and closed his eyes for a short minute, trying to control himself so he could hide those terrible, good for nothing emotions behind a stern face. He leaned his head on an arm resting on the table and looked over at the stack of papers next to him. He sighed. There were so many things to do but so little time… no amount of time in the world could satisfy him, and he had lived for long enough.Zayne put on his glasses, which were studded with a single diamond, to start his work when he heard a soft knock on the door. He grumbled in frustration and went over to open the door. He had clearly given signs to everybody that he did NOT want to be disturbed. He hesitated but ended up creaking the door open.

“Hello?” 

Y/N stood in front of Zayne, with her alluring eyes fixed on him. He was mesmerized by her beauty but reminded himself to snap out of it. He put his cold demeanor and icy glare back on. “Y/N… what are you doing here? Haven’t you been told to not come find me?” 

“I didn’t mean to bother you lord Zayne… I just wanted to check on you.” Her voice was gentle. “I heard from several of the workers that you were having a panic attack. Are you ok?” She had sincerity in those warm words as she looked at him, worried. Y/n had been his advisor for some time and she was someone who Zayne could trust but he had to stop himself from getting close to her, loving her, even embracing her warmth and ruining this life like every other he had lived. 

“No.” His words were laced with bitterness. “And even if I do, you won’t be able to do anything about it. In fact, you’ll probably make it worse…” He muttered. “Just please leave.” 

“Stop trying to chase me out all the time!! You can rely on me,haven’t you realized that after all the things I went through with you?” Her eyes pleaded for him to let her in as she widened the door a bit more. There was a split second where the coldness in his eyes melted away but it was replaced by his usual hardened gaze. “You’re nothing to me and you’ll never be.” He glanced away. Y/n balled up her fists and shoved him aside, entering the room. Zayne tensed and frowned at her. “What are you doing?! ” Y/n gave him a nasty look. “I'm not walking away until you tell me what's going on.” Zayne scoffs at this and remarks, “You’d never understand. The things I did for you.. It never worked. So why would it work in this lifetime?” 

Y/n blinked. “What..? what are you even talking about?” “Forget it” Zayne hissed. 

Y/n gnawed at her lips nervously. Zayne’s gaze settled on her glossy lips, and it was so tempting for him. 

He thought he had a good grasp on himself, until… he didn't. Zayne snatched her wrists and pushed her up to a wall. He caressed her neck and her slender shoulders, leaning in to feel her, to be able to smell her. I’m not making a mistake. This isn’t love, I’m just putting her in her place. 

“W-what the hell Zayne? Let me go!” Y/n panted. 

“Shut up..” He pressed her harder against the wall and stared all over her body, examining every curve. He put a hand on her hips and another on the back of her head, leaning in for a kiss. As soon as their lips touched, Zayne went all in. He was thirsty for her taste and his hunger was unbearable by this point. He pressed harder, sliding his tongue in and tasting her sweet saliva. After a few minutes, he finally broke the kiss. Y/n was all red and was panting, trying to catch her breath. Zayne pretends nothing happened and wiped his mouth with his sleeves. “You can leave.” He was holding back all of his instincts even though he wanted more,Way more. 

Y/n looked hurt and her eyes sparkled with tears. “You’re so confusing. Do you love me or not? Why do you make me feel like this when after, you just turn your back to me? What's wrong with you!” Zayne let out a sigh. “Im.. not.. I’m just trying to-You know what? Please leave Y/n I can't do this today.” Y/n had eyes full of hurt and confusion. Her voice raised, “Why? Why do you do this? Don’t you see that I love you? Why do you have to play with my feelings everyday of my life.” 

Zayne’s eyes flashed with anger. “You don't understand and you never will! LEAVE! You’re just a fucking whore that’ll do what I say. I don't have any feelings for you and I never will.” Y/n bit back tears and turned her back on him. “If that's what you truly believe, then I’ll leave. I just wanted to be some help to you but I guess even that annoys you.” 

Zayne lunges for her and digs his fingers into her shoulders. He dropped his head onto her chest. “D-dont leave… I can't go through that again. Please. I’m.. sorry” Y/n looks at him in disbelief. “Your sorry means nothing.” 

“I didn't mean anything I said Y/n!! It was out of pure anger that I couldn't control. You know how I have anger issues. I wasn’t like this. I was a gentle and loving person but I lost hope and I can't do this anymore. Please give me a second chance Y/n.” Zayne’s eyes teared up and looked desperate. Y/n didn’t bother to even look at him, not wanting to make eye contact with him. Zayne panicked and his hands started to tremble. He was starting to lose control of his evol. Again. “I’m sorry but please.. LEAVE!!!” Zayne pushed her away with much force but it was too late. Shards of ice scattered through the room and one pierced through her arm, splattering blood on the floor. 

Zayne’s eyes widened with fear as he scrambled towards her. “No.. this wasn’t supposed to happen.” The ice disappeared and the room turned back to normal. Y/n’s breath was uneasy and there was still blood dripping down from her arm as she winced in pain.

One of Zayne’s men came in from the commotion and froze in shock. “What are you standing there for?! Get help!” Zayne yelled at him. Zayne was supporting y/n with his arms, basically hugging her until she lightly pushed him away with her other arm. “Don't touch me, you monster.” 

Help arrived and they helped y/n out of the room. She glanced back at Zayne and he noticed how hurt her eyes looked, but he knew it wasn’t because of her arm. All Zayne could do was stare and stare as y/n got smaller as she limped away from his sight. He stood in place without moving a single muscle for a good 30 minutes. “What have I done?” “That wasn’t supposed to happen. I was supposed to help her survive this life and make her happy.”  He leaned on the table for support and covered his eyes. “Y/n..” he sobbed. “I promise.. In my next life I won’t stand in your way. I’ll help you be happy even though it means letting you go.” Zayne glided a hand across his hair, hating himself for being so selfish, after so many lives he still had made the same mistake. As time flew past, and with every minute, the room grew colder, until it was nothing but a barren wasteland of ice.

(2nd post!!)

(requests are open!!)

☪︎ ִ ֶ֢࣪⋆

[quillpokebiology]

Kricketot & Cricketune Behaviour, Body Language, and Culture

I love Kircketune so much, and I was so happy to find that Paldea had Kricketune (never got that nostalgic kricket song to go to sleep to, I just got the sound of Charjabug electricity to fall asleep to :C). Anyways, post about them!

Body Language & Behaviour

Singing

We all know this one, but it's still worth mentioning considering how much they do it. Kricketune sing to communicate, attract mates, and to show they're battle ready.

Spreading out arms

A lot of people view this as a sign of aggression, but it's not. The Kricketune is just letting you know it does not want to be bothered.

Rubbing Claws Together

Kricketune rub their claws together to show that they are happy.

Jumping side-to-side

A behaviour primarily done by Kricketot. It's the same reason Kricketune rub their class together; to show they're happy.

Notes & Emotions

Kricketune's show their different emotions by playing different melodies, and the melodies vary between each Kricketune and each group, but they all still follow a similar universal pattern. Think of it as how people from completely different parts of the world still smile to show that they're happy. When Kricketune make a chalkboard sound (you know the one I am talking about), this means that they are angry, upset, or aggressive. When Kricketune are happy, they make a xylophone-like sound. When they're sad, they make a low-note sound.

Colliding Antenna

As one of their many ways of communication, Kricketot will collide their antenna together to create a sound. Different patterns can mean different things, and it's important to pay attention to your Kricketot since what they mean can very between Orchestras (name for a group of Krickets).

Bathing

Krickets are very prideful and clean pokemon, and they absolutely hate getting dirty. Since submerging themselves in water can damage Kricketune's wings (yes, they have wings and can fly), and Kricketot can't swim (legs too stubby), they will instead go into shallow water and rub wet leaves on themselves to get all of the dirt and grime off. Krickets bathe very often and view being dirty as something no one should be.

Culture

Orchestras

My personal favorite behavior from them. Kricketune love attention and having an audience, and they'll often make musical tunes and play it to attract other pokemon. While orchestras are used for attention and entertainment, Kricketune will also use orchestras as a way to celebrate something or mourn a fallen friend.

Singing Competitions

To attract mates, Kricketot and Kricketune will have singing competitions. It's exactly what it sounds like. Kricketune sing to attract mates, with the one with the best tune attracting the most partners. These are heald in a competition based format, but there isn't one main winner, as the best singer is subjective.

Villages

Kricket villages aren't like the ones humans or Tinkaton make, but they're close. Krickets live in large colonies, making their homes in fields and plains. Different Kricket families will live in different homes made from hollowed out trees or dens. Their homes are close to each other, with places to store foods and use the bathroom in separate areas. Kricketot villages almost always have a flattened out area on either dirt or rocks to be their stage. As you can probably tell, performing and music is very important to them.

Conductors

Conductors are leaders of Kricket Groups; giving them orders and keeping everything in check. In Hisui, Conductors would often be Alpha Kricketune, but as the gene died out, it would end up being any Kricketune that was able to battle for it. While providing food, being head of making shelters, and keeping everyone safe, Conductors are also teachers; often teaching young Kricketot different tunes and leading orchestras (the Kricketune on the right in the first image was actually this groups Conductor!)

Raising Young

Female Krickets can lay up to 12 small eggs in a clutch. Because of this, families tend to be big. But, Krickets have a very "hands off" approach when it comes to raising their young, with entire colonies providing nessecaties like food and water, but letting the young Kricketots explore the world on their own. Conductors and older Krickets will train them on how to battle and make music.

Battling

While Krickets are very peaceful pokemon, every pokemon battles, and each species has differing views on battling. Krickets are primarily focused on music, but battling is taught to them as well in case of potential danger and needing to defend themselves. Every once in a while, Kricketune will battle to attract mates instead of sing.

[thisbuildinghasfeelings]

The Police Station Scene

Arguably the most important season 1 Tarlos scene (it won the poll, after all!), the police station scene in 1x03 is undoubtedly iconic. The sheer chemistry between these two becomes truly apparent, and the journey they take throughout the scene...I have no words. Or perhaps I have many words. Yes, I think it's that second one. Many words. Under the cut, my analysis of this excellent scene.

We start out with TK in a pretty miserable situation. On top of everything else he's going through, he just got arrested, and at this point, he's not sure if the guys he fought are going to be pressing charges. For all he knows, he could be ending up in a jail cell using his one phone call to get Owen to come bail him out, something that Owen will probably not be too happy about. Not only that, but he's bleeding and his face clearly hurts judging by the ice pack he's holding to it. He's having a very bad night.

Then, things suddenly get even worse. Because the police officer coming to deal with him is none other than the guy he hooked up with and then later stormed out on. The guy TK had started having such strong and unexpected feelings for that he had given in to the urge to flee. The guy who TK assumes probably already thinks terrible things about him because of the way things went down the last time they were together. So now not only is this an undesirable legal situation, but it's also an awkward and embarrassing social situation. And now this guy knows that "TK" stands for Tyler Kennedy. Ugh.

From Carlos' perspective, he met this guy who was smokin' hot who he felt an instant connection with...this guy who made him feel for the first time like maybe he wasn't actually broken and then gave him the best orgasm of his life. Said guy then stormed out on him for what appeared to Carlos to be no good reason. He couldn't even be bothered to sit and have a meal and a little conversation. And now? This guy is out getting in bar fights completely sober, putting himself in a dangerous situation where he could very well get himself killed. This guy who Carlos already cares about, and who has seemingly completely rejected him at the first sign of Carlos wanting to get to know him. Carlos is hurt but he's also angry. Most of all, Carlos is angry about the fact that TK is being so completely reckless with his own safety.

The guys from the bar fight don't want to press charges, so Carlos tells TK that he's free to go. But he can't stop from giving TK a little advice. He's not trying to be his boyfriend (lie) or even his friend if he's not into it (oh, Carlos) but he tells TK that he "should talk to someone about why you felt compelled to do something so suicidal." Carlos says this without knowing that TK was suicidal and acted on it not long ago.

TK appears to be affected by this but says nothing. It appears that maybe the fight has gone out of him...until Carlos lets him know that he has something on his face, giving him a box of tissues to take care of it. TK gets visibly frustrated when Carlos tells him he's trying to clean off the wrong side. But then Carlos does something that TK doesn't expect.

He says, "Stop, just...let me." And with a shaky hand, he uses a tissue to dab at the spot on TK's face.

This clearly isn't nothing to Carlos. The emotion in his eyes is undeniable. He cares. That simple act of caring is enough to break TK's walls down the tiniest bit. To allow him to show some vulnerability. TK wants to explain.

He apologizes for what happened between them and tells him that he just went through a really bad breakup, "like nuclear bad," and then he relapsed. Not, as Carlos assumes, with him, but with substances. TK is giving Carlos a piece of himself, trusting him in a way he has not trusted anyone else he's met in Texas, as much as he likes them and enjoys working with them.

Carlos recognizes the significance of this moment of vulnerability. But it's more than that. It gives him context for what happened. TK wasn't just being a jerk and storming out because he didn't care to get to know Carlos. He has serious things going on. And...the champagne! TK has issues with substances and Carlos had offered him champagne without even asking first!

Carlos, always quick to blame himself, apologizes, and in that moment, his walls come down a little too. He had been trying to play it stoic and tough and like he didn't care so, so much. (Of course he already gave himself away when he started gently wiping TK's face)

But TK doesn't stop there. He gives Carlos more of himself, explaining that, ever since he's gotten to Austin, it's just grey. And he feels numb all the time. To explain why he started the bar fight, TK says, "I guess I just--I wanted to feel something."

Carlos looks at him. The anger is gone. He has understanding in his eyes...and that look of caring is still there, too. He watches TK gather his things and stand up. Carlos could have said anything in this moment. He chooses to tease TK a little. TK said he started a fight because he just wanted to feel something, so Carlos tells him, "Judging by that lip, I'd say mission accomplished."

TK looks at him with annoyance. He kind of can't believe that THIS is Carlos' reaction to his vulnerability!

"You really busting my balls right now?"

But Carlos stands his ground as the corner of his mouth goes up slightly.

"Yeah, I suppose I am."

Carlos made the right choice here because TK smiles too.

They like each other so much.

I fully believe that everything that happens after wouldn't have happened without this scene. It's pivotal in their relationship. The journey they go through is incredible! From this:

To this:

Iconic and unmatched.

[ilikekidsshows]

He can literally TELL HER that stuff bothers him and she more often than not just continues talking about her side of the matter, barely acknowledging anything he says at all beyond what little overlaps with her side.

This line from familyagrestefanblog remind me that this is what happened in Wishmaker. Cat tell her that he doesn't have any childhood dreams and she just... brushed it off, saying "Oh you're probably forget" and then listing the potential dream that she thought he might had. It's as if the conversation is just there for the sake of breaking the silence (because Cat has been mostly quiet during the battle) and not for the sake of her trying to get to know her so called favorite partner and it's so grating.

I remember years ago you made an analysis how Ladybug took Cat's presences and kindness for granted and that he's just convenience for her and I was upset then, be ause that wasn't what I see from their dynamic. But watching s4 and 5 make me realize that it really is the case, that Cat is just a convenience for her and that upset me more.

To quote from one of my favorite manhwa :

Doubt is the best thing you can do to deeply understand the other person, trustly the other person rahsly and blindly is the same as not trusting them.

---

Yeah, my takes on Marinette have always been just too spicy for some people. Although, I’ll say to your credit that I had no idea that the Fae Cat Noir interpretation was controversial because everyone was just so polite about it. I do remember that a lot of Marinette fans had also been noticing that Marinette compartmentalized her double life into two separate boxes that shouldn't overlap. Of course, it could be that the idea let people think it's not a big deal she forgets about Cat Noir when he isn't in front of her, because she does this with everything relating to her job as Ladybug. Frankly, I think the fact that she does that to such a degree just shows how unmotivated she is, but I used to think she was just being the reluctant hero archetype and wasn't expecting the writers to claim her failings as a hero are a victory.

And that's the thing with a lot of my past criticisms of Marinette; I never used to really hold them against her because I thought they'd be temporary. I used to think all of her failings as a friend, partner and hero were supposed to be signs of her immaturity. I thought that, as Marinette grew as a person and hero, she'd learn to overcome many of her failings and grow into a more dependable person, because that's an empowering story to tell young girls, that them being awkward and weird now doesn't mean they can't make their own path in life. This is why I adored Marinette as a character despite disagreeing with her values so much.

But now the writers have decided that "empowerment" means excusing all bad behavior instead of becoming better. I don't think telling little girls that their friends should just shut up and be understanding when they make every mistake under the sun and refuse to improve is empowering. It could be cathartic, I guess, to fantasize about yourself as the queen of the universe like that, but it's no way to write a supposed role model that should be emulated.

[soopersara]

Respite

Zutara Week 2023: Day 5

Read it on AO3 | @zutaraweek

At the Western Air Temple, Zuko and Katara can't stop arguing. But at night, to let the others sleep, they go by different rules.

“Can’t sleep?”

“No. You?”

Zuko shakes his head. “Still not used to the snoring. I thought my uncle was bad, but between Sokka and Aang, there’s never a quiet moment after sunset.”

He’s lying. Katara has heard him jerk out of sleep enough times to know that he has nightmares, and she suspects that he’s noticed the same about her. But they’ve come to an understanding by now—they may not be friends, but after dark, they don’t have to be.

They don’t argue. That might wake the others.

They don’t ask too many questions. That might make them argue.

It feels like a delicate balance sometimes, but their nighttime truce hasn’t failed them yet. By now, it’s beginning to feel natural.

“The snoring doesn’t bother me too much. You get used to that pretty quickly when you grow up in a tent.” She peers at him from the corner of her eye. “I’m less used to Toph kicking me in her sleep.”

If he recognizes the lie, he gives no sign of it. Instead, he gestures toward the empty space farther down the terrace. “I made enough tea for two cups if you want some.” He raises his cup enough to give its contents a sniff, and his mouth pulls to the side. “It’s—probably a little better than last time.”

“Did you make two cups deliberately, or did you just forget how much water you needed?”

A shrug. “Possibly both. I think I used too many tea leaves last time, so extra water has to be an improvement. Right?”

She perches an arm’s length away from him, allowing her legs to dangle over the edge. “You taste it first. If it’s better than last time, then I’ll think about having a cup.”

“Fair enough.” He doesn’t immediately taste the tea, opting instead to look out over the moonlit valley while the cup steams gently in his hands. “Did I ever tell you that I’ve been here once before?”

“No. But I guess I’m not really surprised.”

She looks downward too, her eyes tracing over the ribbons of mist forming along the rivers and streams in the jungle below. He’s been traveling more than three times as long as she has. After so much time, it’s no wonder that his path has folded back on itself.

“Is everything the way you remember it?” she asks. So long as she doesn’t look his way, she finds that she doesn’t mind his conversation. He is more soft-spoken, more thoughtful than she usually gives him credit for, and if she doesn’t meet his eyes, the anger that would ordinarily roil inside of her lies dormant.

“Mostly. And not at all.” Zuko pauses for a sip of tea, frowns in thought, then pours a second cup and passes it her way.

Katara shoots him a sideways glance before accepting the cup. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I mean the temple hasn’t changed very much, but—I don’t know. I guess I look at things differently now.”

Her hands clench, and she drags her eyes down toward the valley again. It’s nighttime. As frustrated and angry as she might be, she can’t argue with him now. Not when it could wake the others.

Still, a sharp tinge of bitterness finds its way into her voice. “Why? Because you’ve just changed so much?”

If her tone bothers him, Zuko doesn’t show it much. Dryly, he says, “I’m taller than I was last time I came here. And I can see out of both eyes since I don’t have half my face wrapped up in bandages.” A pause, and when he resumes, his voice is softer than before. “I am different now. You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to, but I have changed. Maybe not as much as I should, but at least being alone with my thoughts sucks less than it used to.”

“Hmpf.” Rather than responding immediately, she takes a swallow of tea. Though the flavor isn’t spectacular—it never is when Zuko brews it—the tea is at least pleasant enough to drink. Pleasant enough that she can hardly complain about it, even jokingly. She’s had worse in dozens of small village teashops. “I’m still waiting for you to prove that.”

“I know. I’m trying.”

She spares him another sideways glance. The fact that he always manages to sound, to look so earnest unnerves her a little. She doesn’t want to believe him, to trust him, but at the moment, she can’t convince herself that he’s lying. At the very least, he believes what he’s saying.

Maybe that quiet conviction is the problem. Why is it that he can be so certain when she doesn’t know what to believe anymore? It doesn’t seem fair. She’s been on the right side all along. She ought to know who she can trust by now. Zuko shouldn’t have this sort of clarity when he’s only just realized that his nation is in the wrong.

Katara leans back on her hands. She isn’t going to argue with him, but she refuses to give him credit for any clarity either. They have their truce, and if the only way she can maintain it without ceding any ground is to change the subject, that is exactly what she’ll have to do.

“Of all the Air Temples I’ve seen so far, I think I like this one best. The others felt so much—emptier than this one.”

For a few seconds, she can feel Zuko’s gaze on the side of her face, but then he turns forward again. “I get that. The northern and southern temples are so high up that they almost feel untouchable. Like they’re so far away from everything else that no one should be able to reach them.”

“What about the eastern temple? What’s that one like?”

He glances her way again. “You haven’t been there?”

She shakes her head. “The others left me behind in Ba Sing Se when Aang went to visit.”

“Oh.” His voice is almost impossibly soft, and he presses his lips together briefly before clearing his throat. By the weight of the silence, she suspects that he knows exactly when that visit was, exactly what being left behind led her into. “I’ve only been there once myself. It was—more open than the northern or southern temples, I guess. Spread out across a few different mountaintops, and I guess the extra space just made it feel different.”

“Hmm.” She exhales and takes another sip of tea. “I wonder if I’ll ever get the chance to see it.”

“I’m sure you will, someday.”

“What, are you some kind of optimist now?”

He shrugs. “You and the others have always managed to find a way before. I don’t see why this would be any different.”

Katara narrows her eyes. The same ember of frustration that has been sitting in her core flares up again, but this time, she can’t quite manage to contain it. “Oh, so that’s it? You decided to join us because you were tired of being on the losing side?”

“What?” His brows furrow.

“You keep telling us that you’re just here to do the right thing. I don’t think that’s true. If you really wanted to do the right thing, you could have started a long time ago.”

They’ve tread this ground before. She knows what’s coming—he’ll insist, yet again, that he’s trying to be a better person, then she’ll push back, and the cycle will go on. They’ll argue over and over, and it will never end unless he gives up or finds a way to finally change her mind.

The trouble is that even she doesn’t know what that might take.

There is a sort of melancholy that comes over his face, and his shoulders hunch. “I’ve been telling you the truth.”

A bitter laugh claws its way up her throat. “You keep saying that. Do you really think repeating yourself is helping anything?”

The tired defeat in his eyes feels like it should break her resolve, but Zuko just shakes his head and looks out over the valley again. “You don’t have to believe me if you don’t want to.”

“You really don’t get it, do you? I do have to believe you. Everyone here is my family, and if you’re going to be around them, I have to trust that you’re not going to hurt them. And—” Despite her best efforts, her voice begins to wobble. “And I can’t trust you.”

“Oh.”

For what feels like a long time, that is all Zuko says. She thinks she sees his hand hover hesitantly toward her shoulder once or twice, but he never quite makes contact. She can’t decide if that’s better or worse. He cares enough to want to comfort her—or enough that he wants to make it look that way—but he’s either too disingenuous or too frightened of her to actually try.

“It was you,” Zuko says at long last, not quite looking her way.

“Excuse me?” She can still feel the heat in her own voice, and she stares daggers at him.

He clears his throat. “The other reason I came here. I mean—I did want to help. I still do. But—” He looks down into his teacup. “I had to leave home. By the end, Father just wanted to see the rest of the world burn, and I was tired of walking on eggshells to keep him from turning me into an example for everyone else.”

That figures, she wants to tell him. He’s the son of the Fire Lord. Sooner or later, life with his own family was bound to become too painful, too dangerous to bear. But the fact that he had no choice but to flee does nothing for his trustworthiness.

Zuko isn’t finished yet. With a sigh, he rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. “It took me a while to realize that I couldn’t run away unless I had somewhere else to go. But as soon as I did, I thought about what you said to me in the catacombs, and—I guess I felt like I’d finally found my place.”  

Her temper spikes. Maybe he’s telling the truth, or maybe he’s not, but it doesn’t really matter. True or not, the idea that he’s here because of her just hurts.

She slaps her teacup down and pushes back from the edge of the terrace. “Don’t say that. Don’t you dare act like what happened in the catacombs mattered to you.”

Zuko rises just a moment after her. “Katara—”

She starts marching back toward her own room. If she has to stew in there alone for the rest of the night, she will. Anything to stop this conversation.

“Do you remember what you said to me?”

She fixes her eyes straight ahead. Just keep walking. Sooner or later, he has to give up.

“You told me that you thought I’d changed. And I had, a little. But now things just keep changing, and if I can’t stop that, I want to at least have some say in where I’m going.” He pauses, almost like he’s hoping that she’ll turn to face him again. “You thought I could be a better person. I wasn’t back then, and maybe I still haven’t gotten there. But I want to. Whoever you thought I could be back in Ba Sing Se—I’m still trying to figure out how to be that person.”

Katara stops walking, and her hands tighten involuntarily into fists. She wants to believe him. That fact surprises her more than she wants to admit. A person like him, like the better version of him, would make everything better. He could take an immense weight of responsibility off of her shoulders if only his change was real.

Maybe if she could shake free from the mistrust that has gripped her for so long, she would find that it is. That Zuko really is better now.

“Please,” he adds, voice soft. His footsteps come just a little closer, angling to one side where he can make out her face in profile. “I just want to know what I’m still doing wrong. I’ll fix it all if I can, I just need to know where to start.”

She shakes her head. “Nowhere. Don’t you get it? You aren’t doing anything wrong, it’s just—” Her voice wavers, then breaks. “It’s just that I believed you once before. I don’t think I could take it if I messed up and trusted the wrong person again.”

With one last, surprisingly light step, Zuko comes close enough to touch her shoulder, and this time, she feels the soft, warm weight of his hand. “You weren’t the one who messed up in Ba Sing Se.”

Though she is still both furious and hurt, she can’t help but lean into him. “What difference does it make whomessed up? I almost lost one of my closest friends. And I did lose someone else who I wanted to be my friend.”

She can only see him from the corner of her eye, but he appears briefly stunned by her candor. Then, instead of retreating as she expects, he offers her a tentative hug. “I’m not going anywhere this time. Not unless you want me to. If you ever decide to give me another chance, I promise I’ll be right here waiting.”

[certifiedlovergirlsstuff]

cant remember to forget you

pairing: chad meeks-martin x fem!reader

wc: 1.6K

warnings: drinking (at a party), little making out. think thats it.

summary: he just cant leave your mind and maybe thats a good thing

A/N: shakira shakira.

🎧 can't remember to forget you (fucking bop!)

masterlist / chad meeks-martin

you shouldn’t be doing this. you know you shouldn’t be doing this. it’s all a bad idea in the end. an idea your fuzzy brain thinks is genius when it’s the complete opposite.

but you follow through with the idea without a complaint.

feet moving on autopilot, carrying you to your destination without needing directions. you always manage to find the treasure. 

you didn’t bother with niceties when pushing past people. everyone was either drunk, high, or lost in their world to care about ‘sorry’ and ‘excuse me’. you went to the foyer where you last spotted him just before he dipped away. pushing to the tips of your toes, creasing your converse as you tried to look over and through the moving bodies.

you couldn’t see him.

maybe this was a sign. a sign from the universe to stop you from going through with this idea that wasn’t fully formed. it was trying to save you from embarrassment and further heartbreak… but this idea was becoming more appealing by the second.

so you ignored this possible sign and continued your search.

so you turn on your heel back towards the kitchen when you bump into a body. a flat palm to their chest and their arm wrapped behind your back, no alcohol spilled in the process. without even needing to look up, you already know who it is. your treasure, a sign thrown in your face that this was a good idea in the end.

“chad… hi. i was- was just… uh…”

“still can’t lie for shit.” 

even with the music blaring through the multiple speakers, the sound of chad’s deep chuckle rang like a gong beside your ear. it was so nice to hear the sound again. the touch of him again, even through clothes, sets your skin ablaze.

a lull in your interaction causes chad to drop his arm and take a step away. the hand previously on his peck reached for his wrist to keep him from departing. he looked at the skin-to-skin touch but didn’t comment or show discomfort. progress.

“hows- hows classes going? enjoying them?” lips dart to wet the stained skin.

chad seemed taken aback by the questions, not anticipating them. his head cocked with that pinch to the middle of his brows, how you wished to smooth it out with your thumb. 

“classes are- are okay. mostly boring. thinking of taking a- a creative elective.” he gained that step back. arms going slack between your stomachs.

chad twisted his hand so his fingers were able to curl to your hold. more progress. you couldn’t stop staring at your limbs with a dopey smile.

“how’s mindy? and everyone?” subconsciously letting your index finger rub at his bone.

chad seemed to be a bit sad at the question. and you kinda already assumed what he was gonna say.

“well, everyone’s good. but you would know that if you continued to hang out with us.” you could see the tension in his shoulders so you finally dropped his wrist. this was probably where the conversation would die.

“right. i just- after everything i wasn’t sure if-“ you’ve just put your foot in your mouth. brain not being able to catch up to fix any of those mistakes to right the conversation back to a few seconds ago. “i- i miss you.” now both your feet are in your mouth.

chad’s forehead creased and his mouth parted at the words you spit out. you should’ve listened to the universe the first time. now you're thinking if you should make this worse or just run for it.

“i- i know i shouldn’t miss you, 'cause we decided it was for the best to end things. but i just… i know i should let you go, it seems you have, but i just can’t. i can’t let you go, it’s like i can’t forget you.”

he licked his lips and looked around the room. you're making this so much worse for you, for him. why can’t you just let him go?

“sorry. i probably shouldn’t- too much drinking (more like not enough). i’m gonna…” you pointed a finger over your shoulder and threw a meek smile to chad. your dignity is gone.

“wait, don’t- don’t leave.”

you kept your back turned to chad, but turned your head slightly just to get some view of him. he looked nervous but took another step closer. and this time he reached for your hand. it made you turn completely to face him.

“why don’t we go upstairs… to talk… privately.” his honey-sweet voice only made you nod dumbly. you let chad take the lead, keeping your hands together as he weaved the both of you through people and up the stairs. he stopped at different doors to see if they were unlocked and free, after a few tries and seeing too much-exposed skin there was an unoccupied room.

chad pulled the both of you and closed the door with an added click to the lock. you set your cup on a desk before taking a seat at the end of the bed. hands clasped in your lap as you just looked at chad and waited to hear his words.

he downed whatever was in his cup, face scrunching at the taste before he set it down. he walked to the bed and sat beside you, a sigh leaving his lips as he rested his forearms on his thighs and hung his head. you weren’t sure what to do at the moment. you wanted to run a hand over his hair, pull him close to you. but you stayed quiet and frozen, letting him take his time.

“god, you have no idea how much i miss you.” 

honestly, you weren’t expecting to hear that. when you and chad decided to break up it was mutual. it just felt like there was no longer that spark in your relationship and neither of you wanted to drag the other around if that was the case.

but it seems after only a month apart, the two of you realized how much you cared about each other. maybe another chance wouldn’t be so bad.

“you know,” chad gave a light chuckle, “when i first saw you walk through the door, i thought i was dreaming. how the colors bathed you in their glow, you dressed in my favorite outfit of yours. looking like your stunning self.” he turned his head your way. “i was really worried someone was gonna sweep you off your feet before i could get to you.”

you shuffled closer. thigh to thigh, shoe to shoe. the two of you sat up straight, no longer hiding away from each other. your hand sat on your thigh, palm down. chad glanced down and then back up, silently asking a question. a quirk to your brow was all and he knew what it meant. his larger hand fell over yours and then after a second of staring at each, you flipped it so it was palm to palm.

fingers intertwined once again.

“chad… when i saw you talking to that girl earlier… i got so jealous. i knew i didn’t have the right to be jealous as you talked with someone else, but when you leaned in close. your lips near her ear, i just remembered all the times you did that to me. sexual or not, and it just caused a flash over my eyes, remembering the feel of your lips on my skin.”

eye, lips, eye. you did that multiple times, in different orders. you all but sighed his name in a plea. free hand touching chad’s cheek and his own holding your wrist. “i want us to try again. we don’t have to be perfect or change anything, i just want us to be us again.” thumb brushing over the scar on his cheekbone.

then sliding down slowly and thumb going over his top lip. “i can’t get you out of my head, chad. and i never want you to leave.”

his touch tightened. both of you are quiet, just staring at the other, seeing who’ll make the first move tonight. your glossed lips parted ever so slightly, finger taking a second pass over his lip. you leaned in, lids dropping and darkening your iris.

you didn’t notice that chad was also leaning in until just a breath away from connecting. he licked his lips as he moved his hand from your wrist and to your neck as he asked, “are you sure? cause i don’t think i’ll want to stop if we start again.”

it was like a punch to your gut as you quickly sighed, “i never want to stop.” and you both dove in.

it was like that spark you thought died out was suddenly reignited into a full-blown fire. both of you were starved of each other's touch, mouths devouring every sigh and gasp of pleasure and happiness. hands roaming over fevered skin, needing to rememorize the dips and curves, the natural push and pull your bodies gave.

one of chad’s hands slid down the side of your body, thumb pressing into the exposed skin of your stomach while his fingers curled over your waist. his other one held your neck in a firm, but gentle hold, his thumb pressing into the underside of your jaw. you held his shoulders to keep you upright, head tilting to your right as he went left, noses pushing into cheeks, and lips were sucked and bitten.

reluctantly you pulled away first, air from your lungs disappearing and as much as you wished to keep your mouth connected with chad’s you need to be breathing to continue the endeavor. your palms pressed into chad’s cheeks to keep his head away as he tried following after

you, a girlish giggle as the action.

“i’ve missed you so much.” a breathless confession from chad as he kept his eyes closed.

you bit into your bottom lip and leaned your forehead into his, both of you taking deep inhales through your noses. you held his cheeks tighter and he squeezed your waist as you whispered, “it’ll work out this time. i know it.”

-

[fantasyfantasygames]

Post-Literate

Post-Literate, Pictogram Games, 2011

Post-Literate takes on one of my favorite genres, transhumanism. I think it's the only transhuman game in which your characters are all illiterate.

They're not idiots, reading just stopped being necessary. Artificial intelligence (like, real AI, not the limited kind that's impacting every industry like a bomb right now) is ubiquitous and powerful, and humans rely on it for basically everything. You want to know something, just ask the open air - there's probably an AI nearby who can reply. If icons and warning signs don't make things obvious, they clearly weren't designed well enough. People who can read in this society are like someone in the modern day living "off the grid".

It's not a post-scarcity world, though. No replicators, no unlimited resources, no free energy, just so much computing power no one can run out of it. Biotech, nanotech, and computation are all massively advanced, but each of them has limits: bio is big and powerful but slow, nano is quick and precise but small-scale, and computation can't affect the real world without the other two.

The game has two typical modes of play. The first is more exploratory - what do humans do in a world where machines can do everything? The second posits a group of rogue AIs who consider humanity a drain on the world's resources, as opposed to the vast majority who are programmed to preserve humanity. You get caught up in the rogues' plots, either as a pawn of one side or the other (AIs do find humans so very hard to read), or as an ally.

Mechanically, the game essentially runs on Fate with PbtA playbooks. I'm sure plenty of other folks have done it. Given the publication date, though, the current batch of Fate stuff wasn't out yet, so this is focused around the then-newly-released Strands of Fate implementation. Definitely crunchier than one would expect from a Fate game.

The game could use more examples - a lot of examples - for aspects, stunts, and so forth. For example, the game says "use this wealth system to represent your connections with other people", but then... that's it. I can figure it out, but I'm also the GM who's read over hundred games.

Much as I love the concept of the game, I think it just didn't lean hard enough into the feel of the game - which is a shame, because that's exactly what Fate games have to do. There should be systems for mind games against AI opponents, fast-talking people into giving you access to their systems, parkour chase scenes... and you can do that, because it's Strands of Fate and it'll handle it just fine, but it's not built for it. It's too generic.

Art, including the cover, is black-and-white line drawings in a very cyberpunk style. To their credit there are almost no robots (as an AI why would you bother with running a drone 99 days out of 100?), but the tech depicted seems a bit understated for what the game describes.

Pictogram Games made Post-Literate and another game about using symbols for magic. It had the most breakable and least handicapped-accessible magic system I've seen in a long time, so buckle in for that one when I get to it.

[meggiejolly]

"You were the first" (Outer Banks fanfic)

Prompt from @fictober-event Warnings: (somewhat) Major Character Death (offscreen), past child abuse, mention of overdose Pairing: JJ Maybank/Kiara Carrera Authors Note: I really don't know what this is, tbh. I meant to write a quick little fic mostly to get to my word count goal. It turned out longer and much angstier than I planed. It's my first OBX fic and I don't think I got the voices of the characters write yet. It's not edited at all, I might go over it in a few days and post an edited version on AO3, I'll see.

It was a normal afternoon, boring almost. Kiara and JJ were hanging out at the house, everyone else was off elsewhere. They were lounging, lazily passing a joint back and forth and lamenting that there wasn’t enough swell to go surfing. 

Their lazy afternoon was interrupted by a car pulling up. JJ cursed when he looked up to see the blue sheriff’s truck and threw the almost finished joint into an empty bottle.Then he jumped up and went over to meet Shoupe. 

“What the hell Shoupe? I didn’t even do anything this time!” He called out and Kie questioned if that was a smart thing to say to a cop while reeking of weed. But that was JJ for you. 

She followed after him more calmly. 

“Everything ok?”

Shoupe looked nervous and way too serious, but not pissed off at them. That couldn’t be a could sign. 

“I’m not here for that, no one’s in trouble.” Shoupe paused and it seemed like he was bracing himself for something. 

“They found your father JJ.”

Kie could see JJ tense up but he shrugged nonchalantly. “He’s back in prison then?” 

Shoupe looked uncomfortable. “No. I’m sorry to have to tell you this JJ, but he has been found dead. It seems to have been an overdose.” 

Kie could see how JJ froze, so she softly pushed past him and smiled at Shoupe. 

“Thank you for letting us know Shoupe. Is it ok if he comes to the station tomorrow or something to handle things?” 

Shoupe hesitated for a moment, but with a look at the shock frozen JJ, he eventually nodded. 

“Alright. But please make sure he actually shows up.” 

Kie promised and Shoupe left. For a moment Kiara just stood there, almost as frozen as JJ was.

Then she shook herself mentally and touched JJ’s shoulder carefully. 

“Jayj, hey. Can I give you a hug?” 

That got JJ out of his stupor and he shrugged off her hand. 

"What? Nah, I'm good Kie. Good riddance to that asshole!" 

"JJ…" Kiara tried but JJ interrupted her. 

"It's a relief. Seriously. At least this way I don't have to kill him." He was pacing back and forth now, all nervous energy that Kie was afraid could turn destructive really fucking fast.

"I almost did once you know? Remember that gun we found in that hotel room? I held it to his head when he was passed out on the couch. Was this close" He held up his hand, thumb and pointer finger almost touching, "to pulling that trigger."

Kie wanted to say something, but she didn't find the right words before he continued. 

"Should have known I'd just have to wait, he was bound to do himself in sooner or later. Don't know why I bothered to steal those pills from him when he left that last time."

JJ continued pacing and talking for a while. He said terrible things that had tears running down Kie's face. She really wanted to hug him, kind of wanted to resurrect Luke Maybank just to kill him again. JJ deserved so much better than that fucking monster of a father. 

But she couldn't reach JJ, it was probably better to just let him get it all out and when he eventually ran out of steam she would be there for him. She would hold him and call the other Pouges here and they would remind him he had a family that loved him and would always be there for him. 

Until then she'd just have to stomach what JJ was saying and curse herself for looking away for so long. 

Eventually JJ sank down on a sun lounger and buried his head in his hands. "Fuck." He mumbled, "I can't believe he's dead." 

Kie sat down next to him and this time he didn’t shrug her off when she put an arm around his shoulder. 

“He was a fucking waste of space, a grade an asshole and I hated his guts!” JJ said and Kiara could feel him shaking. She pulled him closer. 

“But he’s my Dad and I love him.” His voice was shaking and Kiara was pretty sure he was crying. She hadn’t seen JJ cry since the day in the hot tub. 

She admired him for still being able to love his dad, even after everything he had put him through. JJ had the biggest heart out of anyone she knew and loved so unconditionally, it was so fucking unfair that his parents couldn’t see that or give him the love he deserved. 

“I know you do JJ, that’s ok.You’re allowed to feel those things at the same time. You can grieve him and be relieved at the same time.” 

Some of the tension seemed to drain out of JJ and he turned to lean into Kiara. His arms went around her and she could feel him silently crying into her shoulder. 

There wasn’t much more to do than to hold him, hum softly and pet his hair, hoping she could give him a little bit of comfort. 

After a while JJ sighed and straightened up. 

“Thanks. I… fuck I needed that. I’m sorry Kie.” 

Kiara shook her head and ducked down a little to look into his eyes. “Hey, no. You don’t need to apologize for needing a hug or crying. I’m here for you, whatever you need.” 

JJ gave her a weak smile. “Thank you. That… that means a lot.” 

Kie smiled back and then reached over to grab one of their beer bottles. It was probably warm now and well on its way to flat, but something to drink would be good after the crying. 

To her surprise, JJ hesitated.  

“I’m… not sure I should drink right now. I really don’t want to end up like him, you know?”

“Yeah. Yes of course. Let me get you some water or something. Be right back.” 

Kiara went into the house and grabbed them each a bottle of water. 

"Heads up!" She called when she came back and tossed a bottle at JJ who caught it easily. 

"Thanks." 

They sat in silence next to each other, sipping their water until JJ eventually said. "You were the first you know?"

"The first what?"

"The first person I ever told that my father hit me." 

Kiara looked at him surprised. "I was?" 

JJ didn't look at her. "Yeah. You had just started hanging out with us a couple of weeks ago and I showed up with a big bruise on my arm. You just asked me what happened and I told you. All nonchalantly, that my dad had done it. I don't think you believed me, you never brought it up again. I don't even know why I told you, I was always so careful back then to make up believable stories for all my bruises, but something about the way you asked me, just made me tell you the truth."

Kie swallowed. "Oh. I… I don't remember that. I guess I must have not believed you. I'm really sorry about that Jay. I should have told someone—"

JJ interrupted her. "No, you shouldn't have. They would have not believed me, and he would have gotten so mad. Or worse they would have taken me away from all of you. It's ok, I handled it. That's why I never told John B. or Pope. Or you a second time, because I was afraid you'd tell your parents and they would do something." 

Kie put her arm around him again. "You shouldn't have had to handle it. I'm so sorry you had to go through that." 

JJ just shrugged, but didn't make her take away her arm. 

"Big John didn't know?" Kie asked after a moment.

JJ shrugged again. "He must have suspected. He asked some pointed questions sometimes, but I was very careful never to let anything slip in front of him, so I guess he didn't think he had enough proof to do anything. He did tell me I was always welcome at the Chateau, which was the only help I wanted anyways." 

Kie nodded thoughtfully. 

"Do you want me to let the others know?"

"Nah, I'll tell them when they get back. Don't want to ruin their day with this."

"They would want to be there for you."

"Yeah, but… they can do that later. Right now you being here is all I need." He leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to her lips. "Thanks for that."

Kie kissed him back and smiled. "Of course, always."

[girltalkcollectives]

Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You Back

This entry is from an old relationship

Have you ever felt like you're the only one trying in a relationship? Like you're pouring your entire heart into something while they're just... there?

I'm sitting in my car right now, typing this on my phone because I can't be in my apartment. Because he's there, probably not even noticing that I left an hour ago. Probably hasn't even looked up from his game to realize I'm gone. And the worst part? I already know when I go back, I'll act like everything's fine.

It's such a specific type of heartbreak - loving someone who doesn't love you back but stays anyway. Because that's the thing: he stays. He's still here. Still says "goodnight." Still goes through the motions. But that's all they are - motions.

I keep a list in my notes app of all the signs I try to ignore:

How he takes hours to reply to my texts but I can see him active online.

The fact that he hasn't said "I love you" in months, just replies "you too" when I say it.

How he only wants to see me when it's convenient for him.

The way he talks about his future without mentioning me in it.

You know what the worst part is? I'm not even angry at him. I'm angry at myself. For staying. For making excuses. For thinking maybe if I love him hard enough, he'll start loving me back. For becoming the kind of person who checks their boyfriend's likes on Instagram at 3am, looking for signs of what I already know.

Tonight he asked what I wanted for dinner like everything was normal. Like I hadn't spent the whole day crying in my car because he forgot my birthday. Like he hadn't introduced me as his "friend" at last week's party. Like I haven't been dying inside every time he pulls away when I try to hold his hand in public.

My best friend keeps asking why I stay. I wish I had a better answer than "because I love him." But that's the whole stupid truth. I love him. I love him so much it physically hurts. I love him even though I know - I KNOW - he doesn't love me back.

Do you know how pathetic it feels to plan your whole day around someone who probably doesn't think about you at all? To get excited when they text you first, only to realize they just need something? To lie awake at night wondering what she has that you don't? (Because there's always a "she" - the one they like on every post, the one they talk about a little too much, the one they light up around in a way they never do with you.)

The dumbest part is that I keep waiting for some big dramatic moment. Like maybe one day it'll get so bad that leaving will feel like the only option. But it's not big dramatic moments. It's small things. It's a thousand paper cuts of indifference.

It's the way he doesn't ask about my day.

It's the half-hearted hugs.

It's the "maybe next time" when I suggest doing something together.

It's the way he can go weeks without seeing me and it doesn't bother him at all.

It's how he never puts his phone down when we're together.

It's the fact that I can't remember the last time he was excited to see me.

My mom always said you should be with someone who loves you as much as you love them. I used to think that was just something people say. Now I understand. Now I know exactly what she meant. Because this? This isn't it.

But here's the really messed up part - I'm still hoping things will change. Still analyzing every tiny gesture for signs that maybe he's starting to feel something real. Still trying to be the perfect girlfriend, like if I just try hard enough, he'll suddenly realize he loves me too.

I know how this ends. I've read this story before. I'm not stupid. I know he's never going to wake up one day and suddenly love me the way I love him. I know I deserve better than someone who makes me feel like an option.

But knowing you deserve better and actually leaving are two very different things.

So here I am, sitting in my car, writing this post. And in a few minutes, I'll go back upstairs. He won't ask where I've been. I won't tell him I've been crying. We'll go to sleep on opposite sides of the bed, and tomorrow we'll wake up and do it all again.

Because sometimes the hardest part isn't loving someone who doesn't love you back.

It's knowing they don't love you back and staying anyway.

[thekingofthenameless]

i saw your DILFFFFFF merlin (i believe that was his name yes? long dreads, dark skin, absolute dilf?) and i want to know everything now literally everything. specifically a compilation of all your favourite quotes from him pls and thank you :)))

Thanks for the question @thecomfywriter! :D

My current description of him (in a nutshell). Black trans aroace icon. Would probably look good in anything and has endless drip in his regular outfit. A highly empathetic, dignified, mellow, and smart person who struggles with schizophrenia, psychosis (as a result of his schizophrenia), anxiety, C-PTSD, and misophonia, but is still kind because he doesn’t want others to suffer what he’s been through. Secretly the God of Magic walking among mortals. Raised a literal dragon.

He’s so cool and pretty <3

Telling you everything would take a while, and might also contain a more than few spoilers (and I'm also hosting a Q&A currently which would ruin the purpose lol), but here's my Ao3! I have nine chapters of oneshots at the moment, and more to come. :D And of course, you're free to participate in the Q&A!

Here are a few of my favorite Merlin quotes from my published oneshots (in the chronological order they take place, not in the chronological order I wrote them lol). I probably have more, both from the published writing, and from unpublished writing I actually like sitting around, but... I'll be honest; I can't be bothered to look for it at the moment lol.

“Sorry,” his savior answered, not sounding sorry at all.

“Charlemagne?” Ganieda repeated incredulously. “Oh, I’m sorry, would you rather have me name him Scorch?” Merlin shot back.

“Maybe I should have introduced you to them,” Merlin idly mused while using the potion. “But I for all I know, Ganieda would have found that even stranger… she’s my younger sister, by the way. Two years younger, in fact, even if she is an adult and married, because for some reason, I age extremely slowly. Every five years is one year of aging. I wonder if you age slowly too?” Merlin wondered, and how did Merlin keep guessing and end up being right? Maybe it was luck, and if so, then maybe things would be better than they ever were with [Charlie's] parents. He'd be lucky enough to stay, he'd be lucky enough to grow up... Merlin kept talking, obviously not knowing his thoughts. “The woman you hadn’t met is Vivian, and she and Ganieda are married. Or you’d probably say they’re mates, now that I think about it. Either way, it’s completely disgusting, as I said. Everyone keeps saying ‘Oh, you’ll be next, Merlin, and you won’t find it disgusting when you find that special someone!’ No, fuck that.” The sudden outburst of language made him want to burst out laughing, but all he could manage was a little rumble. “Seriously, I don’t understand it! ‘You’ll understand when you’re older, Merlin,’- I’m sixty-five, so I’m not sure when I’ll understand. But who knows? Maybe now that I have you, they’ll stop teasing me about it. I can hope, at least.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so glad you’re all right,” he whispers even though the dragon shows no signs of waking.

“Um- yes,” Merlin replies after a moment of them all just staring at each other. Then he turns back to the dragon, murmuring, “Shh. Are you hurt?”

“I know. I know. It’s all right,” Merlin replies, pressing relieved kisses into the parts of his head not covered in blood. “I’m just glad you’re safe.”

“[Charlie’s] not a pet,” Merlin snaps immediately, eyes shining brightly even behind his glasses, and the sudden change in mood is enough to put her hands up in surrender.

Taglist: @gaylightisminetocommand, @the-arson-author-gamer, @honeyxmonkey, @danhengsbestie

[chirpingfromthebox]

I'm just in a rambley mood. Feel free to ignore my random stream of thoughts.

As much as it's true that any business needs money I still think that trying to copy the business models of the big leagues is inherently a mistake. You can't copy something that took over 100 years to build.

The thing I liked about the PWHL's season one model was that it was all about making a nicely packaged product and making it readily accessible to everyone. And as much as the league's single-owner system has inherent problems, it actually does give the league a unique ability to to be able to build slowly and be nimbler in implementing changes.

At the end of the day I just don't think their model can be one of getting the established big hockey fans to watch more women's sports. It should be one of going after new fans. Going after people who didn't know they liked hockey or thought they didn't because they didn't like the NHL. To try building a new culture and market instead of trying to co-opt an existing one.

And you just can't entice large numbers of people into giving something a try when it's locked behind multiple paywalls or requires resorting to piracy.

Its accessibility is the only reason I ever became a fan. I remember hearing about the league forming and I thought to myself, "Hey, that's cool. Too bad it'll be locked behind whatever sports service I don't have like every other sport." And then promptly forgot about it for awhile.

It wasn't until the league had already been going for a bit that I heard that games were free to watch on Youtube and that's what got me hooked. And what's better that's how I got other people to check it out too!

In the ramp up to Season 2 I just keep seeing signs of them stretching and trying to rush some things. And I really hope they can recognize that part of their success in Season 1 was inherently because they were doing things differently. For every bum on the Youtube chat complaining and saying they would never bother watching a sport where the teams don't have logos and how much better the NHL is, there were 5 fans who were excited by how different everything was.

I know they probably thought those innovations were failures brought on by a need to get creative in order to launch so quickly. But I saw them as features! If they can just look past the wet dream of wanting to be the next NHL in only a couple of years, I think they'll see that they already stumbled on some really interesting ideas.

I don't really have any solutions to the problems they face. And I don't think anyone's ever found the secret to creating a new league and make it extremely profitable. But I can't help but to feel that the secret lies in doing things differently.

So many leagues have fallen because they tried to do the same things as before. And I really hope the PWHL finds the legs to create something lasting.

[cherryxblossxms]

hello I hope not go bother but I was reading your Nsfw alphabet for Kennyo by now I don't evrn count anymore how much tine I read it and an ask popped up in my mind.

In the letter where you explained what turns him on you said that uf you tease him in private he will melt ... but what if you decided to tease him in public like a feather light touch here a soft kiss on his cheek there keeping him on edge promising more but not giving it because you two are in public.

From this I felt I need to know how in your opinion would he react in such a scenario ? 🤔

You are not a bother, don't worry!

I had to reread some saved stories of him, but I think I have an idea of how he'd react. I think Kennyo would be torn, but only in the beginning.

He does seem to enjoy being affectionate with MC, both in public and in private. He's not ridiculously affectionate in public, but he isn't afraid of referring to MC as his fiancee, petting her hair and showing her a very sweet smile at her. In fact, it even gets to a point that MC is worried for him and his reputation when he's being so sweet in public and wonders if he should "tone it down", per her words. And Kennyo is apparently a jealous man, as he does this in part because he wants it to be clear that she is his fiancee, but he also just wanted to express his love for her out loud. So to have MC express her desire or love for him in public would be wonderful, even if he knows shes probably right and he needs to decrease the PDA haha.

Now, if you're getting spicy in public, maybe you whisper something naughty in his ear or bump your butt against his groin a few too many times... I think Kennyo secretly really loves it. He loves knowing you want him, loves knowing you're showing how much you want him in front of others (regardless of whether anyone actually sees or not) and that you couldn't wait until you're in the bedroom to do this. Part of him knows you were right, that you have to be careful of getting caught, but he can't help but feel excited by everything you do, and the well-hidden bulge beneath his robes is your telltale sign. So how does he respond? Perhaps with some "discipline" in the bedroom.

He's telling you how he never expected his lovely little wife to be so naughty, so brazen and bordering on indecent. What if one of his disciples saw? They'll realize what a dirty little seductress you are... and might become attracted to you as much as he is, and he can't have that. You're his, and once he's gotten you into his room, he'll spend the rest of the evening "teaching" you to behave and showing what you've done to him, how hard and insatiable you've made him. It's a very long night that leaves you both sweaty and pleasantly spent, asking if you've learned your lesson yet.

Normally I'd say Kennyo could never raise a hand to you, even if you asked for it, but I think he could learn to enjoy a little spanking just for this...