#I know August is supposed to be part of the teenage love triangle

[adamwatchesmovies]

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones (2013)

When you call a film a Frankenstein’s Monster, the assumption is that you've stitched together pieces of different properties to make a new thing. That doesn’t quite work with The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. If it were merely Vampire Academy (which is part Twilight) plus Harry Potter, it would have two legs, two arms and a single head. This movie is more like a teleportation accident. All the arms, legs, and heads are still there, creating a would-be franchise starter so unoriginal you can keep yourself entertained by predicting what’s coming next.

Teenaged Clary Fray (Lily Collins) worries her mother, Jocelyn (Lena Headey), when she begins drawing a strange symbol. Soon, Clary begins seeing things and people no one else can, which is when she’s introduced to the world of “Shadowhunters”. “Mundanes” cannot see them, but demons live among us. The Shadowhunters are half-human half-angel warriors who hold the forces of evil back. When the villainous Magnus Bane (Godfrey Gao) kidnaps her mother, Clary and her best friend Simon (Robert Sheehan) join Jace Wayland (Jamie Campbell) to help. Hopefully Jocelyn' abduction does not mean the Mortal Cup (one of three Mortal Instruments given to the first Shadowhunter by the angel Raziel) has fallen into the wrong hands.

The more YA novel adaptations I see, the more credit I must give to the original Twilight film. Both it and the Harry Potter series started off small, building up their love plots and world-shaking final battles. The imitators make the mistake of introducing so much in the first chapter you can hardly keep track of what’s happening. This world has angels, demons, witches, vampires and werewolves… all living among us and right under our noses. There’s the obligatory love triangle between Lily, her creepy best friend who pines for her (seriously, Simon is totally a proto incel) and the hunky, dangerous, tattoo-clad supernatural warrior who doesn’t want anything to do with the girl but can’t stay away from her. There are prophecies, magic tattoos, betrayals, revelations and so much going on this feels like two or three movies crammed into one. Well, in many ways, it is. If you haven’t seen The Maze Runner, Divergent, The Host, Eragon, Red Riding Hood, Beastly and so many others, this plot may seem novel but to the rest of us, this is a parade that makes you wonder “what’s next?!” in the worst way. Just wait until the part where they talk about Sebastian Bach. It’s so loopy I almost say it’s worth seeing this movie for it alone.

Part of what makes The City of Bones so entertaining is that it keeps finding new ways to be bad. Overall, the special effects are fine for a mid-budget production but note the way the afore-mentioned werewolves never transform on-screen because… you know, that would be expensive. As you watch and wait for the titular City of Bones to appear, keep your expectations low because the sanctuary is so unimportant it should’ve been omitted entirely. The romantic love plot is the middle of much bigger things will either infuriate you, or cause you to slip into uncontrollable laughter. I know these are teens with raging hormones but come on people. The peril outside is so much bigger than who’s kissing who! I know this is supposed to be wish-fulfilment for teenage girls. It's just that Clary makes so many wrong decisions and causes so many problems it’s a little embarrassing to watch.

Despite everything, I’m disappointed this picture never got the sequel it so desperately wanted. They drop a bomb towards the end. I want it resolved so desperately I’d sit through at least 2 to 3 more of these just to see it resolved. It’s another thing to make fun of. This is the embodiment of teenage angst in the middle of much bigger things, which means I had a great time watching The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones. (August 30, 2019)

[missperfectlyfine13]

In the garden would you trust me?

Summary: So, it's been a while since I've posted any writing, but the other day inspiration finally struck. I've always thought about how it would be fun to write a story inspired by the folklore love triangle and I finally came up with (hopefully) a good way to do it!

This story will be 3 parts - one part from Betty's perspective, one from August's, and one from James'.

But here's the twist - I am writing James as a girl. I know that Taylor has said that James is a teenage boy, but I'm taking a little creative liberty here. Hopefully it's well received!

So here goes nothing - part one is below!

*********

(Betty's POV)

The sound of metal clinking rings through the soft, late summer breeze. Betty squints, trying to determine what she’s actually looking at in her biology book. The bright sunlight against the glossy finish of the paper makes it nearly impossible to make out much of anything. As she strains to see the blurry image of cell, a swift wind sweeps through, whipping Betty’s papers into the air. She audibly grunts, studying outside seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she’s not sure.

Before she can think of standing up from the picnic table, a slender hand slides her papers back onto her book. Betty glances up, meeting the bluest pair of eyes she’s ever seen. The taller girl sits down opposite her, and Betty takes a moment to study her. Her wind-swept blonde hair is pulled into a loose ponytail, and her eyes glimmer almost magically back at Betty. She’s wearing an orange t-shirt with the number 8 printed in the upper right corner, the words Tigersprinted across her chest. She’s definitely a soft ball player, but shouldn’t she be over on the field across the way, with all her teammates?

“You’ve got to watch the wind when you study outside,” the girl finally speaks, a small smirk on her face, “I’m James by the way.”

“James? Isn’t that a boy’s name?” Betty replies before she can stop herself, but she quickly realizes it was a little rude, and she blushes shyly, “Also, why aren’t you on the field?”

“Well, you’re full of questions,” James chuckles, and her laugh may be the sweetest sound Betty has ever heard, “My parents wanted a boy, but they got me. So, my name is James. As far as your second question, we’re taking a break. I was walking over to the bathroom when I saw your papers take flight.”

“Sorry,” Betty says, still blushing, she can’t believe she let herself say that to a complete stranger.

“Don’t be sorry,” James replies sweetly, a hand still lying on top of her biology worksheets.

“Thank you for saving my homework,” the blonde’s hand on her work reminds her to thank the other girl.

“No problem…” James falters for a moment and lightly laughs once again, “I don’t think I got your name?”

“Betty.”

James gives her a toothy grin in return, “Betty. I like that. I don’t think I’ve seen you around before.”

“My family just moved here, I’m new to the school,” Betty explains, glad they are finally on to a new topic and her rude remarks seem to be forgotten.

“Ah gotcha,” James nods knowingly, “how do you like it so far?”

“It’s alright, everyone seems pretty friendly,” Betty looks down at her book, fidgeting with the dog-eared corners, “my classes seem ok, it’s just hard to transfer schools your junior year, you know?”

“I totally get it,” James replies, after intently listening to every word Betty spoke, “well, I know it’s hard to make friends at this stage in the game, so consider me one,” the other girl’s hand lifts off the stack of worksheets and across the table into Betty’s space.

Betty can’t help the broad smile that spreads across her face as she grasps onto James’s hand, “Thanks.”

“James!” a deep male voice strikes the calm afternoon air.

“Oh, that’s me,” James stands up and Betty quickly realizes how tall the girl is, “I’ve got to get back over there, but I’ll see you around?”

Betty nods, “Definitely!”

“Oh wait! Once more thing,” James blindly reaches for a pen off the table and grabs Betty’s hand back into hers.

Betty can’t stop her cheeks from turning a rosy pink at the feeling of ten numbers being etched onto her skin.

“That’s my phone number,” James drops her hand and the pen, before turning around to head back to the softball diamond, “you better text or call!”

“I will,” Betty replies shyly as James sprints back over to her team.

******

“Betty, Betty, BETTY!”

Betty is finally jolted back to reality. She quickly glances up from her desk, her math teacher standing over her with a worried look on her face. Betty quickly takes stock of what has just happened. The classroom is empty, there are tears staining her cheeks and the desk below her and not a single answer is written out on the test paper in front of her. This day just keeps getting better.

“I’m sorry,” she quietly mutters, grabbing the blank sheet to place it in her teacher’s hand, accepting her failure this time.

“Betty,” Ms. Davidson’s voice sounds soft and concerned, and she places the blank sheet back in front of Betty, “what’s wrong?”

The brunette shakes her head, not willing to commiserate with anyone, especially not a teacher, “Nothing.”

“It’s clearly not nothing, considering you just cried your way through the first test of the year and didn’t fill out a single answer,” she still looks overly concerned.

Betty sighs, “I just got some bad news this morning and it kind of threw me a little. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, I know you’re a smart girl,” Ms. Davidson replies kindly, kneeling down in front of Betty’s desk, meeting her still teary eyes, “and I don’t want you to start off the year with a 0 in my class. How about you come back during your study hall and try taking this test again?”

Betty nods enthusiastically, “Thank you Ms. Davidson. That would be great.”

Ms. Davidson stands back up and gives her a small pat on the shoulder, “Whatever that boy did, isn’t worth all these tears.”

Betty nods with a small frown…more like whatever she did, “I know.”

“I’ll see you during study hall,” she says before Betty grabs her books and heads out the door.

Betty walks briskly down the hall towards her locker, weaving in and out, around the other students. She doesn’t want to risk running into James right now, it’s not something she can handle. Not after what Inez told her this morning.

A fresh wave of tears form behind her eyes, just thinking of the terrible encounter. The bubbly, blonde gossip had been standing by her locker before she even got there. Before Betty could even put in her combination, Inez was talking a mile a minute. She didn’t gather the whole situation with how quickly the other girl was talking. She did pick up the most important part though. Apparently, James was seen out with some other girl, from a neighboring school’s softball team. They were at the local diner, sharing a sundae and according to Inez, they looked “pretty cozy”.

Betty wants so badly to not believe it, but it adds up. James has been so distant for most of the summer. They’ve only been in school for a month and Betty just chalked it up to senior year stress. It’s James’s last softball season and she knows how badly she wants to do good. Very quickly though, texts became less frequent, excuses were made when Betty asked to hang out. That’s why she’s sure it has to be true, even though Inez’s sources aren’t always that reliable.

“Betty!” the last person she wants to hear calling her name pulls her out of her thoughts.

Before James has a chance to reach her, she’s on the move, heading towards the bathroom nearest to her locker. She can sense the tall blonde behind her, but pushes past the door of the bathroom before James can catch up. Betty flies into the stall at the far end of the room, putting the toilet seat lid down and sitting. She’s tries her best to keep her tears at bay, but soon enough she sees a worn pair of converse on the floor in front of her stall.

“Go away James,” Betty says curtly, clutching her books tightly to her chest, putting all her focus on making her voice sound steady.

“Betty…please,” James’s voice sounds desperate – almost sad, a tone she’s not used to hearing from the blonde, “let me explain.”

“I think Inez did enough explaining already,” Betty can’t stop her voice from shaking this time and she knows James heard.

She hears James sigh, and her head thud lightly against the door of the stall, “Please…Betty, baby…”

“DON’T call me that,” she’s surprised by how firm her voice was that time, but something about the pet name sets her insides aflame.

A loud clatter rings through the small space and Betty sees James’s skateboard hit the floor, followed by James herself. She sits cross legged in front of the stall, Betty can only see her legs, clad in ripped blue jeans.

“I’m not leaving until you let me talk to you,” James says stubbornly, but Betty can hear the way her voice is shaking now too.

“Well then it looks like we’re both going to be here for a while, I hope you’re ok with skipping 2nd period,” Betty spits back out just as stubbornly.

“I wish I could see your face, but I guess I’ll just say my piece through the door,” James sighs once again.

Betty doesn’t want to hear what she has to say, but on the same hand, she supposes it has to happen and she’s not sure she can bear to look James in the eyes when it does. Her response is silence and James takes that as her go ahead.

“I didn’t want you to find out like that,” James says almost timidly after about 30 more seconds of silence.

The soft admittance digs the knife in so deep Betty feels like she can’t breathe for a moment, a whole new batch of hot, angry tears already pouring down her cheeks, “So it’s true.”

She can hear James sniffle and she knows that she’s crying too, “I’m so sorry Betty.”

“Why?” Betty can’t hold her emotions at bay any longer and a choked sob follows the one-word question.

“It just happened, I don’t even know,” James is floundering but not coming up with any valid reasons, “but believe me, I feel terrible. I feel so guilty, it’s been eating me alive.”

“Then why did you keep doing it?” Betty replies almost venomously, you wouldn’t know she was crying by the tone of her voice.

James’s quiet sniffles have turned into full blown sobs and Betty can barely understand her lame excuse of a response, “I don’t know.”

“Who is she?” Betty asks coldly, she has to know.

“Her name is August,” James manages to choke out, “I met her in softball this summer. She doesn’t go here.”

Betty suddenly feels so angry she can barely keep her body from shaking. She pulls at the delicate chain around her neck, a necklace James got her shortly after they started dating. Betty yanks at the little gold heart until the chains breaks free from her neck, and she tosses it under the door at the other girl.

“Obviously, you realize we’re no longer going to homecoming together this weekend right?” Betty asks dryly, her hands still shaking, she’s surprised she hasn’t dropped the books in her lap.

Betty can see James delicately grab the broken chain and pendant off the floor, followed by another small sob, “Can’t we just try and work this out?”

“How could you possibly think we can work this out, when you can’t even give me a good reason?” her voice sounds tired and sad, so very sad, exactly how she feels on the inside, Betty’s not sure she can make it through the rest of this day.

James doesn’t respond, just quietly weeps on the other side of the door. Betty has had enough, she needs to leave this bathroom – now. She stands up and smooths out the wrinkles in her yellow sundress, trying to salvage what little dignity she has left. She swings the door open and James looks momentarily surprised.

“Move,” Betty doesn’t even make eye contact, but the tall blonde listens to her and scoots to the side, so Betty can walk past and out the door.

Betty doesn’t even look back once, because if she did, she would never leave this room.

******

It’s nothing short of a miracle that Betty even makes it through the rest of the day. It was a constant battle of holding back her tears and trying to avoid her ex-girlfriend, all while trying to function. She’s sure she still bombed that math test, even with the extra chance to put answers on the paper.

When she gets home, she bypasses going inside. She knows she won’t be able to avoid her mother’s questioning gaze. That alone will make her start bawling and she can’t bear to tell the story one more time today. Instead, she heads past the gate leading to the backyard and straight to her garden. The one spot in this entire world where she feels truly at peace. She hopes it can bring her that same sense of relief today.

As soon as she flops her bag down in the grass, she weaves her way through the flower bushes and tomato plants, all the way to the back fence by her sunflowers. She all but throws herself at the earth, pulling her legs tight against her chest. A fresh batch of tears starts to trickle from her eyes. Betty truly didn’t think she had any more tears to cry but being in this garden isn’t having the healing effect she thought it would. It was foolish to think that she would be calm here. This garden holds too many memories of James, and Betty instantly regrets ever brining the taller girl here. She’s tainted the one place she’s sought solitude since her family moved to this stupid town. When they moved, Betty had been distraught, leaving all her friends behind. Her mom and dad had both asked if there was anything that could make the move better. Betty had almost instantly said a big garden.

Betty loves the outdoors, she has ever since she was a kid. Her grandma had instilled a love for plants and flowers in her, from the moment she could walk. She remembers sticking her stubby little fingers in the dirt, placing delicate seeds with the aid of her grandma. Then helping to tend those sprouts until they produced leaves, flowers, and fruit. There’s something so gratifying about bringing new life into existence, with just a little water, sunshine, and love.

Now, what was once her happy place, is full of sour memories. Betty looks at a row of blueberry bushes and scoffs, remembering how excited James had been to see the blue fruit the first time Betty brought her here. That very same day, they shared their first kiss, next to the blueberry bushes. The sound of early evening crickets and the feeling of soft grass beneath her toes failed in comparison to the feeling of James’s soft lips against hers. Her heart had soared and felt almost as full as being in this garden makes her feel.

Not anymore though.

Betty wonders if she’ll ever be able to look at this garden the same way ever again. She slowly stands from her spot in the grass and heads inside. Thankfully, her parents are no where to be seen and her little brother is still at soccer practice, so Betty is able to make it to her room without being seen.

The moment she enters her room, her heart sinks. The first thing her eyes land on, is James’s ill-fitting cardigan hanging from her bed post. Her heart feels heavy as she remembers the day James had bestowed the beloved sweater upon her. They were taking a walk in the park, after getting ice cream. It was late September, so the days had been hot, but the evenings were starting to become chilly. Betty had shivered as they walked, instantly regretting leaving her denim jacket at home. James has always been observant. At the first sign of her coldness, James had slipped off her baggy cardigan and slipped it over Betty’s shoulders. Betty felt warmer immediately and it wasn’t just because of the soft fabric hanging on her.

Betty stomps over to the bed and all but rips the cardigan from the post, tossing it to the ground. She kicks it under the bed before flopping stomach first onto the mattress.

She was foolish to let James in. Now it’ll take a lifetime to recover from the kind, beautiful soul that she thought James was. She thought that the blonde, softball player was going to be the one. Betty saw herself growing old with the other girl; buying a house, planting a new garden and raising a few kids. She’s only 17, almost 18. It seems foolish now that she was planning so far into the future with someone she has known for only a year, before her life has even truly begun.

An outsider might look at the situation and say she will move on. She’s so young. When you are as young as Betty, most adults assume that you don’t know a thing about true love. But Betty knows how she truly feels, Betty knows that she was – still is in love with James. And she hates it.

[argylemnwrites]

Romantic Dreams Must Die

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Romance (Book 1, chapter 18)

Word Count: ~2100

Rating: PG-13 (language)

Summary: “So close to reaching that famous happy end. Almost believing this one’s not pretend.” ~So Close; written by Alan Menken and Stephen Schwartz

Author’s Note: Written for the @choicesmonthlychallenge for August 5 - let go. Set during the dance between MC and either Hana, Maxwell, or Drake at the Coronation Ball. Inspired by the song “So Close” performed by Jon McLaughlin in the movie “Enchanted.”

Drake didn’t dance. Not since Savannah’s first few balls at least, when she’d begged him to not let her look like a loser by not having a partner. Back then, he’d grudgingly stumbled through a couple of dances with her leading him around, sure of all the steps while he tried not to let her down by tripping over his own feet. He hadn’t danced in over a decade, since they were both teenagers.

Hell, it had been years since anyone had really tried to get him to dance. Every so often, a crown chaser would approach him at the bar and fish for an invite, but most of them had done their research by this point and focused on trying to chat him up over a drink. It had certainly been a long time since Liam had attempted introducing him to daughters of diplomats or industry leaders at a ball or gala, and even Maxwell had stopped trying to force him onto the dance floor a few years back.

But here he was, dancing with Riley Liu. He’d dressed up in a frickin suit for her already tonight, so really this was just the next natural step in his journey into self-delusion. It was still unnerving. She shouldn’t have this sort of effect on him. For many reasons. Yet here he was, shuffling along as he tried not to make an even bigger fool of himself. He just couldn’t say no to her.

The trouble was, he realized, that she made it too easy to forget why she was here. When she sat on the floor, legs twisted like a pretzel in a pair of skin-tight jeans, an eyebrow raised in a silent challenge as he attempted to figure out whether to match her ante or fold during a late-night poker game, she didn’t seem like a future queen. When she swiped his flask and took a swig, giving him a middle finger as he protested, she also seemed like a total outsider at court. And now, with her body pressed gently against his, the scent of her peach perfume or lotion or whatever she used all he could smell, she didn’t seem like she was in love with Liam.

If only he could stay in a little bubble with just her, no one else, he could almost imagine a life with her. Where she was his, where he was… happy. But that wasn’t how the world worked. There was Liam and other nobles and a kingdom. And then there was him. And unlike him, she could fit in with all those other people. She had very nearly found a steady place among them already, and when Liam proposed to her tonight, her acceptance would be complete. No matter how much she insisted that wasn’t the case.

Her words were going to haunt him for the coming weeks. I promise, I’m still the same Riley. She made it so easy to believe that it was true. That she would still be a vision of snark and sarcasm who gave zero fucks. Hell, she probably thought that was the case. But Drake knew this place well enough to realize that he would have to be a damn fool to believe that was possible. Because when Liam got down on one knee, she was going to say yes. It would be nothing short of a foolish fantasy to imagine any other response.

Within months, she would be Queen of Cordonia. The wife of his best friend, living a fairy tale come to life. And he wasn’t going to have any part in it. Not in any way that mattered. Sure, he’d see her around. But she wasn’t going to find him in the lounge for drinks and poker. She wasn’t going to hold his hand as he told her about how much he missed Savannah. She certainly wasn’t going to hold him or kiss him again. And it was selfish for him to want to cling to those moments in between when she would be getting so much more. When he knew Liam and her could have a lifetime of happiness together.

Tonight was the end of any semblance of closeness between them, all of which was likely just a side effect of her initial confusion and irritation with the other members of court and her need to talk to the only other person around who understood her anger and frustration anyway. But he worried it would be the end of so many other things - her humor, her temper, her aggressively competitive spirit. Slowly but surely, all those things, everything that made her so fucking fantastic, would get shoved away, able to be a part of her less and less often. Diplomacy and negotiations, not sarcasm and fire, would be all she was allowed. And it would change her, maybe slowly at first. But years from now, she would look back and wonder how she had ever dropped an f-bomb in public, marvel at the fact that she ever told Olivia to shut her damn mouth.

It was just the way things would be, the inevitable future. And he needed to remember that. Not get swept up in this moment, not let himself believe things could ever work out. But he wasn’t ready to let go of Riley. This Riley, the way she was right now. So he held her as he tried to keep up with the steps of the waltz. Just for a moment letting himself feel like maybe, just maybe, this time, it would be different.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Drake didn’t dance. She’d learned this fact very early on. At first, she thought he was just being a fucking dick when he refused to teach her the Cordonian Waltz, but it became rapidly clear that Drake, in all his years hanging around the palace, had never picked up any ballroom dancing. And as the months ticked by, as she actually got to know him, befriended him, and felt drawn to him over and over again, she wondered how she had ever suspected that Drake would have been able to teach her any formal dancing. He wore denim to formal galas and events, for fuck’s sake. He might as well have tattooed “I hate all this shit” across his forehead - the message would have been the same.

But tonight… tonight he wore a suit. She didn’t know what it meant. He’d made it sound like Liam had basically demanded his presence, so she wasn’t sure why he’d bothered to dress up when he clearly didn’t actually want to be here. It was throwing her and everything she thought she knew. The fact that he looked damn handsome in his suit wasn’t helping matters either.

She knew her feelings for Drake were a problem. She finally had a chance at happiness with a prince who seemed straight out of a fairy tale, and she had to go and complicate everything by liking his best friend way too much, and in ways she definitely shouldn’t. The first time in years she’d let herself embrace anything more than something physical with a guy, and she found herself in some mad love triangle between best friends. 

Except for it wasn’t a love triangle. It was one guy who was the clear and obvious choice and one who had heartbreak and emotional unavailability written all over him. Being with Liam should make everyone happy, including her with her cargo load of baggage and abandonment issues. Being with Drake would probably cost her Maxwell’s friendship, Liam’s kindness, and her own sanity as Drake undoubtedly continued to run hot and cold with her. This shouldn’t even be a fucking choice.

This had to be her mantra. She needed to repeat it over and over to herself, somehow make herself believe it. She’d thought she was almost there, almost on board with a future with Liam, but then Drake wore a suit and told her he liked her just as she always had been. And it was making her question her decision all over again.

It felt like something out of a fairy tale or rom com, that one person who saw you exactly as you were, saw all your flaws, and who didn’t want to change a damn thing. And when he’d been trying to tell her something, she felt her hopes soaring all over again. When Hana and Maxwell had joined them, and the fragile moment crumbled to pieces in front of her, she was yanked back to reality yet again. But something about tonight felt different, something about Drake felt different tonight. Wanting to chase it, bring back that feeling of potential, that maybe all those nights filled with jokes and cards and whiskey actually had been building to something, she’d done the first thing she could think of to get him to herself again - she asked him to dance.

To her surprise, he’d taken her offered hand right away and only put up a token resistance before letting her tug him onto the dance floor without any grumbling or complaining. It was enough to send her heart soaring to foolish places. Sure, he was unsure and uncomfortable waltzing, but dancing with him at least felt natural. With everyone else, she always had to pretend to be more polite, more poised, more controlled. She would take her toes getting stepped on over having to put on her customer service personality every single time.

Sometimes, it felt like if she could get Drake alone, really and truly alone, without reminders of the court and the palace and Liam around every corner, that maybe things would be different. Maybe he wouldn’t shove her away anytime they got closer. It could be sarcasm and comfort and flirting all the time. But there was no way to erase everything, to feel like it was just the two of them with no one else that mattered.

Hell, he’d just reminded her tonight that fairy tales were best left for children. She knew she was being stupid here, setting herself up for devastation. She should be putting some distance between them and focusing on building a deeper connection with Liam. Indulging in fantasies when it came to Drake was only going to make it harder for her to feel something more than a crush with Liam.

She knew she needed to give that relationship a real chance, but it was hard to let go. How was she supposed to give up the one person here who she didn’t ever have to pretend around? How was it fair that when she finally found someone who could swap stories about neglectful mothers, it was with a guy she was attracted to that she shouldn’t be? It almost felt like a giant middle finger from the universe, to tease her with something that felt so right but that would end up being a mistake in the long run.

Maybe if Drake had really been the asshole he’d started off as, maybe then she would be happier. Because then she wouldn’t have to face the feeling that she was losing something special, this man that seemed to just get her, who she just got in return. She would just be blissfully ignorant, letting things with Liam, someone who was far too gentle and adoring for her judgemental, brash, broken self, progress without her mind and heart wandering to someone else far too often.

But that wasn’t the reality here, and she needed to accept that. It was time to move on from the potential of Drake she’d constructed in her mind. It was just hard to do that when his arm was wrapped around her, his hand resting on her back, holding her close. So for one song, she decided to indulge in the fantasy, that there was a man who wanted her, warts and all. One that really saw her and still somehow decided to stick around. She couldn’t keep pretending forever, but for just this moment, she let herself imagine a different future.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

The music changed. The moment was over. It was time to face the harsh truth. So Drake took a slow step back. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t ready for this all to end. Liam was going to propose to her. She wasn’t his. It was time to let her go.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

He slowly pulled away from her almost as soon as the song ended. The spell of the moment was broken. Riley didn’t know if she was ready for the rest of the night, but she didn’t have much of a choice, so she dropped his hand, plastering on a smile as he awkwardly thanked her for the dance before she threw a quip back about making a gentleman out of him. It was time to let him go.

Permatag: @choicesficwriterscreations @walkerswhiskeygirl   @riley--walker  @bebepac @ravenpuff02 @oofchoices @octobereighth @drakewalker04 @kimmiedoo5  @mfackenthal  @thequeenofcronuts  

The Royal Romance/The Royal Heir: @ao719 @mskaneko @katedrakeohd @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @axwalker @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @dcbbw @yaushie

Drake x MC: @no-one-u-know @drakeandcamilleofvaltoria  @iplaydrake @gibbles82 @drakewalkerisreal @notoriouscs  @drakesensworld @drake-colt-lover-99​

[sinkingsidewalks]

why do memories glow (the way real moments don't)

Chapter 5: if your part of me is gone now (do I wanna survive)

January 2008

Jemma stood outside the building, staring out across the campus. People rushed to and fro, past and around her and all over the lawn in front of her, which had a sprinkling of snow on it. It was cold, just below freezing, and she wasn’t wearing the right coat for it, she’d gone for looking fashionable and presentable over being warm, but she stood shivering, not moving.

She was done. Her four years at MIT were over. All her classes were complete, her research finished, and her dissertation defended. There was nothing to do now.

She had job offers, research offers, but it didn’t feel the same. She was twenty years old, an actual adult now instead of the teenage one she’d been pretending to be for years. If she’d stuck to the timeline she was supposed to take, if she hadn’t skipped years of school and combined university programs, she would be halfway through an undergrad, instead she had two PhDs. Her peers would be partying, working menial jobs, and skipping classes. They would be changing their major every three months, utterly uncertain of the future; Jemma didn’t feel much more solid in hers.

Getting a job was necessary, the last eighteen months had blown through every penny of her savings and she’d no longer have a visa to stay if she didn’t, but she had no idea how to choose. She’d never done it before, had never really been employed except by the university, and as much as she’d love to teach, she was far too young to command any authority in a classroom, not when her students would be her own age. She’d tried to make a pro and con list for the various positions she’d been offered and the page had stayed entirely blank, she’d come up empty.

There had been a certain ease in choosing universities, the first one close to home, then where she’d found an advisor she got along with, but she had no idea about labs or offices. She’d met with department managers, had good conversations about science and research, but she had no clue how to vet how someone would be as a manager.

Part of her was thinking about tossing a coin, or taking the highest paycheque, but even the thought of that made her uneasy. Research could be a delicate thing, and she didn’t want to end up a lab monkey for some soulless corporation. But she was also afraid of taking too long, of being too picky and having offers dry up, leaving her stranded, on a plane back to England.

She couldn’t go home. She couldn’t move back in to her parents’ house, live with the coolness between her and her mother even though she knew her Dad would welcome her with open arms, and find a job at a UK lab instead. The mere thought made her sick to her stomach. In the intervening years she’d been for Christmas, for a week of holiday in the summer, but it put a pit of something in her stomach that she couldn’t name, it made her feel unsteady, unmoored, like she was far away from herself. Or maybe like she was far away from Fitz, far away from the baby. He’d be almost two and a half and only when it was very late at night did she allow herself to wonder what he looked like.

It felt like there was a tether between them all, like they were three points, stretching a triangle into different angles as they moved through the world. The rope didn’t reach across the ocean.

She stood outside the building, watching groups of students walk, watching people laughing with their friends and others rushing into the cover of buildings, feeling cold, feeling alone.

August 2006

She was awake as midnight ticked over, watched it on her clock as the time changed, and so did the date. It had been a year. The baby would be turning one. She wondered what his parents had planned, if they were the big party type or just a small family gathering.

She’d held her son for exactly ten minutes, after he’d been cleaned off and whisked away for testing because of low oxygen levels. She’d called Fitz while she waited, it was late enough by then for him to be home, kicked out of the lab, to tell him that if he wanted to meet the baby he should come in the next few hours. Then she’d held him gently around the cannula in his nose and said goodbye.

Their adoption advisor had showed up then, she’d walked Jemma through the paperwork she had to fill out, including his birth certificate. Even though she knew his real family would change it she had to name him, which felt odd, and she was in such an exhaustive haze she’d written the only thing that had come to mind; Leopold James Fitz. She’d had the presence of mind to tack ‘Simmons’ on the end and had fallen asleep in her hospital bed for a few hours.

When she woke May was there again, guiding her into her clothes then out to the car. It was late, the streets were dark and empty and she’d felt hollow, ripped apart. Kendra was asleep when she got into the apartment and so was Fitz, passed out in her bed. She’d crawled in with him and hadn’t gotten up for a week.

Fitz and Kendra had taken turns cooking for her, leaving plates on her bedside table and taking away the dirty ones, the half-finished or picked over ones between their work and research and classes. There were times when they both lingered at the doorway, books in hand, but she could only shake her head when asked if she wanted company, even though she didn’t want to be alone either. She felt alone, even when they were there. Her own work went untouched, but May didn’t bother her for progress, had only showed up once to drop off a peri bottle and cabbage leaves without a word. Jemma still didn’t know who took over her teaching assistants duties.

Eight days later she’d hauled herself into the shower and stood there for over an hour as the dried blood and leaked breast milk and hospital smell ran down the drain. She washed her hair twice, ran the hot water for the whole building dry, and only then, once the water dwindled to lukewarm did she emerge.

She was passed it now, or as passed it as she could be. Somewhere in Connecticut it was a little boy’s first birthday, but that boy wasn’t her son, he never had been.

She wondered what Fitz was doing, if he was aware enough to know what the date was or if he was so buried in his research he’d lost all concept of time, of reality. She knew he’d remember the significance if he remembered the date, but that was always a toss-up with him. It had been weeks since she’d talked to him, maybe even months, she could hardly remember.

There had been one late night phone call, where he’d been exhausted and delirious, talking about an issue that had come up with his thesis, but she’d been just as tired and overworked it was impossible to remember what day that had been, what week, when every hour bled into the next. She was fairly certain he’d called her by accident, by reflex, because she was the person he was used to talking to when he had an issue and vice versa, because she wasn’t sure if they were friends anymore.

It had seemed possible, at the end of her pregnancy, that they could get through it, but the more time went on the harder it was to pretend that everything was normal. The summer ended, a new school year started, Fitz was locked up in the lab and Jemma started a new TA job. They didn’t speak for days, then weeks, then a month, then two.

She had no doubt that if she needed him, that if she called him, for anything, he would come running, without a second of doubt or hesitation, but she had no reason to call him. They crossed paths on campus, they hung out with mutual friends, but she didn’t feel like she could read his mind anymore, didn’t know his every thought and feeling by the quirk of his eyebrow. She knew he would never disappear entirely, that she’d never lose track of him, that he’d never leave her life entirely, but they would continue to orbit around each other, binary stars pulled towards the barycenter of a child they didn’t know.

She rolled over in her bed, made her body relax piece by piece and counted her breathing, trying to get to sleep, even though she knew she couldn’t.

Read the rest on AO3

[pitchblackveins]

okay, not that anyone is asking for it but here is my take on the teenage love triangle...using they/them pronouns for james cuz i think they can be whatever gender you want although it definitely hits harder if its a gay love story. its not a cut and dry “betty and james were together and then they cheated on her and then tried to get back together” story. but heres the thing about betty and james....they were childhood best friends. “playing hide and seek and giving me your weekends” “i knew you” its the story of falling in love with your life long best friend when youre teenagers. but if james is bettys best friend, why do they think her other friends are stupid? why does james know betty will definitely be at the dance while james hates the crowds? because they grew apart in high school. betty is popular, james is not. james doesnt like bettys friends, knows betty hangs out with inez, who james doesnt like and thinks is a rumor monger. “you heard the rumors from inez/you cant believe a word she says/most times/but this time it was true.” that “you cant believe a word she says” is bitterness—james is frustrated that betty is even friends with inez, who is always lying. in high school, betty became a popular girl, and james stayed on the outskirts. but they still hung out by themselves just the two of them, went into the city together, getting drunk and having fun like always, and growing feelings for each other, and finally kissing in james’s car, and james thinks that maybe, there will be something, despite the way theyve grown apart in the rest of their lives. james is so hopeful that they even show up at a school function, something they’d never normally attend, hoping to finally publicly love betty. but they get there, and there’s betty on the other side of the gym, with all her popular friends, dancing with the guy james KNOWS is into her, and they decide maybe those drunken kisses were just that—maybe betty never really had feelings for them. and they run outside, and august (i know its not her name but i like it) pulls up in her car, one of the other people james is actually friends with in the uncool crowd, and whisks them away—and james throws themself into that relationship, hoping to forget about betty, not meaning to use august but unable to forget the importance of betty, that missing person that feels like a hole in their heart. and the more they dwell on it the more they rethink their assumptions that night of the dance—after all, they were supposed to meet betty there. she was expecting them. they were the one that ran off without ever even trying to make a move. and the school year starts again, and betty isnt speaking to them, and theyve broken things off with august but it broke her heart so now theyre not speaking either. and bettys silence, and switching homerooms, proves to james at last that betty DID feel the same way, that they WERE the one in the wrong, not her. and so they show up at her party...even though none of bettys other high school friends like them, even though betty hasnt been speaking to them, because they know that the friendship and the relationship between them is the most important thing in the world. but is it too late? will betty ever forgive them? its “the worst thing [james] ever did” because they might not just have ruined the blossoming love between the two of them, but a lifetime of being best friends. and whether betty takes them back...or accepts their friendship but closes off the possibility of romance...or says its too broken and everything is over...or maybe they become friends again when theyre both adults and thats when cardigan takes place....that part of the story is anybodys guess.

[hermionegranger56]

ok lads its time for my breakdown of folklore, something absolutely no one is asking for but here we are!! this album. thIs ALBUMMMM. dear GOD. the intersection of my two favorite things, taylor swift and indie folk???? i feel like i’m dreaming. when she announced the surprise drop i literally burst into tears and evidently for good reason lol.

anywho here’s the thing. Red has been my all time favorite album for 8 years now. it holds such an important place in my life and i never thought anything she did could come close (though Lover almost did). but this. THIS IS BETTER THAN RED

the lyrical genius is unmatched here. taylor isn’t just writing songs here, this is POETRY. every song is nuanced, intricate, devastatingly beautiful, with words that’ll haunt me for a long time. and the fact that it’s stories, literal folklore, no longer just about her own life is incredibly creative and is executed so well for someone who has interwoven her life into her entire body of music thus far. folklore blends facts with fiction so seamlessly and is a true exhibition of taylor’s power as a songwriter.

and the vibessss!! from haunting heartbreak songs, to ethereal lost-in-the-woods vibes, to a comforting return to her old self, this album has everything. taylor is without a doubt one of the most versatile artists of our generation, having success and skill in multiple genres and folklore only solidifies this fact.

ALL RIGHT KIDS LETS JUMP IN

the 1: hell yeah explicit tswift give it to me lol you ARE on some new shit!! ok when i first listened to this i hadn’t read her statement about the other perspectives and i was about to RIOT about her and joe breaking up (like they could ever lol). this is such a catchy beat, such a casual?? look at such a painful feeling? a really good start to this album. the part where she goes another day waking up aLONE killlllllls me wow

fave lines: “in my defense i have none/for never leaving well enough alone”

cardigan: (don’t get me started on the mv it’s gorgeous) YES THE TEENAGE LOVE TRIANGLE suchhh a good concept!! the melody of this song is unreal, the chorus makes me want to scream it’s so beautiful, the i-i-i is SOMETHING ELSE. it’s crazy how just the melody makes betty’s pain so palpable, but so enchanting at the same time. it’s bittersweet and cinematic and i’m in love. PETER LOSING WENDY GOD. easily top 5 song here

fave lines: “when you are young they assume you know nothing”, “cause i knew you/ heartbeat on the high line/ once in 20 lifetimes i” “you drew stars around my scars/but now i’m bleeding”

the last great american dynasty: watch hill!!! her watch hill house!! i live near there!! oh i think this song is so clever and i love how it ties into mad woman as well as harkens back to starlight. i LOVE the way she ties her self in, “and then it was bought by me” like ughhh her mind? and its catchy AF

fave lines: “i had a marvelous time ruining everything”

exile: YOU KNOW HOW TO DO AN INDIE ALBUM??? BRING BON IVER INTO THIS SHIT!! wowww this song is haunting and is definitely the “i’m you but stronger” version of The Last Time. the overlap of both of them singing and their parallel lines are flawless. i could play this on repeat for hours and contemplate my whole existence

fave lines: “you never gave a warning sign/i gave so many signs”

my tears ricochet: ok somehow a track 5 with tears in the title is not the saddest song here but DAMN is it good. I love the visual of someone watching over their funeral and reacting. the music is stunningggg here. ALSO i am pretty convinced this is about the whole scott/scooter drama, like the lyrics fit so well? and she said it was the first song she wrote so the timeline kinda fits?? geniusss

fave lines: “I didn’t have it in myself to go with grace”, “and if i’m dead to you/why are you at the wake?”

mirrorball: ohhhh this one is so pretty!! it just makes me want to dance around the kitchen with the person i love??? its comforting, ethereal, happyyy ugh i love it. I also think it could be about her relationship with her fans? like her music shows us different sides of ourselves idk? or just absorbing into a relationship?

fave lines: “on my tallest tiptoes/shining just for you”

seven: i’m gonna call this now: this is going to be the most underrated song on this album. it is STUNNING. POETIC. HEARTBREAKING. the music is so hauntingly nostalgic. and the lyrics, holy absolute shit. they’re a delicate testament to childhood, memory, and innocent love. it’s gut wrenching and i love it so so much

fave lines: “i’ve been meaning to tell you/i think your house is haunted/your dad is always mad/and that must be why”, “and just like folk song/our love will be passed on”, “before i learned civility/ i used to scream ferociously” ALL OF IT

august: and now we get the girl james cheated with’s perspective, which i think is great. its sunny, wistful and sad underneath all that beautiful production. when she slides from the chorus to the “back when we we’re changing for the better” and hits that “mineeee to lose” GOD, it just fills your chest. i feel like even if you never have, this makes anyone feel like they know exactly what a summer fling feels like. one of my faves

fave lines: “august slipped away/like a bottle of wine”, “cancel my plans just in case you call/ and say meet me behind the mall”

this is me trying: the slow pacing of this melody serves to show these EXQUISITE lyrics here. this is so intimate and personal and i feel like everyone can relate to this feeling of just trying to hold on and put on a brave face?

fave lines: “they told me all of my cages were mental/ so i got wasted like all my potential”

illicit affairs: ok all you need to know about this one is a) I’m obsessed b) this is the closest she has come to creating a bridge that makes me feel like the All Too Well bridge has, like scream sobbing in the car type vibe??? its unreal. and this song makes me feel that shitty feeling of: “this was supposed to be casual but oops its very much not” hmmm maybe that’s where the scream sobbing comes from hahah

fave lines: “don’t call me kid/don’t call me baby/look at this godforsaken mess that you made me/you showed me colors you know i can’t see with anyone else”

invisible string: this. THIS is probably her most stunning love song. like. i thought it was Lover. i was wrong. this one is confidently from Taylor’s perspective, about Joe and dear lord i want a love like theirs. and shit does this song put the folk in folklore, the music is so simple and gorgeous and harkens back to her country roots without losing this new sound she has. and the first few notes remind me of Mystery of Love by Sufjan Stevens so instantly im sold. this and betty are tied for my number 1, it’s just too beautiful

fave lines: “time curious time/give me no compasses/give me no signs” “isn’t it just so pretty to think/all along there was some invisible string/tying you to me”, “cold was steel of the axe that i had to grind/for the boys who broke my heart/now i buy their babies presents”, “hell was the journey/but it brought me heaven”

mad woman: FUCK YOU FOREVERRRRRR!!! yes taylor said fuckkkk ugh i LOVE this vibe, the revenge of the mad woman that the town cast out is so eerie and powerful, i’m obsessed. it ties back into the maddest woman of TLGAD and it feels like a spiritual sequel to The Man, the same feminist thread weaving through it. the lyrics are razor sharp and biting, i love it

fave lines: “and you poke that bear/till the claws come out/ and you find something/ to wrap your noose around”, “it’s obvious wanting me dead has really brought you two together”

epiphany: so uhhh THIS is the saddest song on folklore. fight me. the seamless comparison between wartime and the pandemic and waiting for some epiphany that could make sense of all the horrors surrounding the both. idk man, as someone who’s been a covid nurse since March, i just….this one HURTS. similar to Soon You’ll Get Better tbh

fave lines: “hold your hand through plastic now/doc i think she’s crashing out/and somethings you just can’t speak about”

betty: OH I LOVE IT WITH MY WHOLE HEART! this is such a TRIUMPHANT return to old taylor, it is so joyful but sad at the same time?? the harmonica?? the last part of the love triangle?? it sounds like Taylor Swift and Fearless all grown up and it makes me ache for back then, but love where we are right now. tbh the first time i heard this i sobbed through the whole thing just out of pure nostalgia. she’s back but at the same time she never left. this feels like a love song to original fans and it. is. incredible. my favoriteeee goddd

fave lines: THE WHOLE CHORUS BABYYYYY

peace: it’s gorgeous, especially the guitarrr ugh. this feels like delicate’s quiet older sister. i think it’s definitely about joe and how taylor, despite loving him, still has these insecurities and fears about what a relationship with someone in her position could be like? like there will be struggles, but he’s her family and she “would die for you in secret”. stunning

fave lines: “i’m a fire and i’ll keep your brittle heart warm”, “the devils in the detail/but you’ve got a friend in me”, “give you my wild/give you a child”

hoax: i’m surprised she ended it on a sad one (but we still have the lakes!!) but this song is hauntingly beautiful WOW. every line of this absolutely floors me. i think this one will also be largely underrated, but it is pure poetry and deserves so so much hype

fave lines: “stood on the cliffside/screaming give me a reason/your faithless love’s the only hoax i believe in”, “it still hurts underneath my scars/from when they pulled me apart/but what you did was just as dark” “my kingdom come undone/ my broken drum/ you have beaten my heart”

ANYWHO TAYLOR HAS PRODUCED HER BEST WORK TO DATE AND IM READY FOR SAD GIRL AUTUMN

[b4civility]

August,7

fanfic based on the “teenage love triangle” on Folklore, “Betty”, “August” and “Cardigan”. Still releasing new chapters, stay tooned! 

[NO WARNINGS] 

summary: Betty doesn’t realize she is touching James the first time she does so. James doesn’t realize she is everything he wants the first time he paints her sink red. Alisson doesn’t realize she wasn’t part of the plan. August slipped away like a bottle of wine, as quick as it could,staining everything it reaches.

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Chapter 1: Betty 

Whenever I have to pack, my head gets cloudy. Always seems like I got everything I need, except that the Object That I Take For Granted But Actually Use Everyday stays behind, like a bath sponge or a coffee pot. I know this will happen, but get a bit of a headache every time trying to fight it. All the boxes in mu checklist are checked, but this anxious feeling still buzzes inside my head. 

‘Check under the bed to see if there’s something there’, mom says. 

I check. There is, but nothing that belongs to me. 

I am moving from a house of girls to another house of girls, but at least I get to have the unspoken individuality of my belongings, the entitlement to my schedule and to have “ I would rather not talk about it” or “I want to keep it to myself” as a legitimate answer this time around. My sisters are pretty sad about it- Skyler says she will miss my closet the most. “ So I am supposed to buy my own earrings now? How much do they cost? Do you try them on at the store? Is it ok if I get them wet by accident or will they be totally ruined?” she shoots at me as I finish packing my jewelry. “ Did you not care to not spill water on my earrings when you wore them?”, I ask, but she just looks away and plays with the ones that are in her ear, that are, too, mine. They are the silver with some dark green balls at the end. I stole them from a fancy boutique when I was 14, igniting my addiction to this accessory. I stole a couple more until the guilt finally kicked in,and then became an expert on finding cheap and not that bad ones at Aliexpress. I’ll just let her have it, looks better with her short hair than with my long one. Even though we have the same kind of curls, mine weren’t as defined as hers when I had short hair. A little bit shorter than the earrings, makes her look so edgy. She loves it. 

Eliza, in the other hand, despites my wardrobe, but worships my baking skills. One Sunday or the other we bake together, she makes sour doo biscuits and I bake a cake. This is our stack for the week, and then we try a different recipe for the dessert that day. We have a nice dynamic in the kitchen by now-she hates making cake but loves eating mine and I feel the same way about her biscuits, ans since both of us have a sweet tooth, baking is taken very seriously under this roof. 

The four of us get in the car, I get the backseat since Eliza is our official DJ (not that we gave her the title, rather she took it),plus, mom likes her by her side. Never have I ever sat behind the wheels when the entire family was in the car, for some reason mom would always get cautious about it when I asked if I could drive in these situations, even though I have been each and everyone’s chauffeur at some point. 

Tomorrow, at this very hour, I would be waking up to none of them. The closest thing to not being a sister I ever had was before I was seven, when Skyler wasn’t born yet, the bedroom was all mine and dad only had one volleyball player in our backyard. The closest thing I ever got to not being a daughter when he left. I was 12, Skyler was 5 and mom was in no condition to deal with her and our loss at the same time. Grandma was around a lot for the next 2 years. I couldn’t say the same about our mother, even up to this date. 

So I was reading her body expression, her smile at what my sister was saying about the music she chose, her thin neck, blurred by some hair strands that got out of her pony tale and eventually felt on her shoulders covered by her green cardigan, and how easily breakable her peacefulness appeared. Not because of my departure,no, she has been looking like this everyday since that last day. I don’t believe the other two ever notices that, not when they got their hands full with the colossal mess they make to get their older sister’s attention. It does work, I’m even moving houses because of it;college is just a social-acceptable excuse. 

Three hours later we have completed our journey from Mendax to Verum, the college town just 20 minutes away from campus. Five other girls were to live with me, none that I have met yet, but their facebook page tells me I got another Political Science major in the house, two English majors, a biology southmore and soon-to-be-graduated journalist. I sort of hoped I was going to be the first one to arrive so I could get my stuff in place first, not have all the stubbornness that run through my family’s DNA thrown at them as a first impression and possibly bake a Homecoming/Welcome/If My Words Fail Me At Least I Have This Going For Me cake. Plus, I own Eliza this last/ first moment, so I’d ask for her help. 

 The house was unapologetically pink. The pastel tone suited the wood-revested building very well, so much it felt like Barbie Dream House: College edition. The family house energy of it, the immense porch space, the spacious interior corridors,two livingrooms and the hugh gress space in the backyard were the opposite of what you would expect of a college girls’ residency, yet everything you wish they all looked like. Besides, this was a very prospect location for an off campus party, so I think I got the upper hand with this one. 

“ You are in a Barbie movie scenario for your entire graduation. I’m so jealous I can’t barely put it into words” Skyler said, staring at it, blinking as if she was waiting for it to disappear the next time she opened her eyes. “ Yeah,I will be sitting at the porch waiting to see if Ken shows up anytime soon,too.” I answered as I stood next to her, holding boxes. “Yeah, be sure to look very carefully for him at the massive Homecoming barbecue you guys are going to be having in this abnormous big backyard of yours”.So it was that obvious.” But don’t get attached to the first cutie you see, ok? Someone better could be just around the corner... ”. I don’t even want to imagine how her college years are going to be like. Probably a little cooler than mine; she always knows how to make a fun moment even funnier. Is it legal to bring your underaged sibling to a uni party? 

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep you in mind whenever I get more-than-two-dates invested in someone here”

Did Skyler really thought that my next romance would just fall into my backyard, like that?  

Chapter 2: James 

The sound of the wheels rolling on the concrete always get people looking, even when you are far from them. Anyone in top of a skateboard becomes a model in a suburban street, whose streets turn into a red carpet filled with paparazzi. I try to say something like “good morning” or “hello” to whoever I am passing by in an attempt to make my politeness overcome the annoyance of the loud noise, and convince myself that it works. Somehow, I often end up in a situation where it would be better not to be seen: whether is when I am riding my board and I get loud or in places I shouldn’t be attempting to land a trick at, or when I am pointing my camera at someone, trying to get a picture without them noticing. As if it isn’t happening for the hundredth time, I awkwardly pause, try to wave at them so I don’t come out as a stalker and gesticulating an apology all at once. People generally frown and move some place else, as a anyone in their right mind would. But only my headphones come with me for the ride when I know I will be taking The Pink House road. Two years ago I was riding by for the fourth time in the same week - ok, that was pretty stalker-y - getting shots of the house, the thing that struck me at first, and then the feature that actually grabbed my attention: the girls. There were four college girls living there, all who seemed so bubbly,so full of life, so enjoyable to the eye, so hot. By that time I had the count in my head, and one of them was missing. Didn’t mind much, got some rather good photos of Claire, the only one that I(oddly,but actually) knew. We made out at a uni party that I had sneaked in to the year before. As soon as I looked forward, A bloody face jumped in front of me,screaming, scaring me enough so that I felt in the concrete, scratched an elbow and hurting my feet. 

“THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DON’T WEAR PROTECTION PADS!!!!! AND ALSO WHEN YOU ACT LIKE A CREEP FUCK,BASTARD!” 

As I pointed my head to the sky, the bloody shadow took away the mask, to reveal the fourth girl missing. “I-I-I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to.. I was just… The house, I-”

“Oh God ,it’s a creepy kid”, she said, throwing a hand to help me get up. “ So just because you are a cute teenager you think you can spy on stranger’s house like that?!?”- she said I was cute- “Yo, it’s no stalker”- kinda was- “just a random kid with a camera. Partially broken camera, you might wanna pick that piece up”. That was the day I met Inez. We got quite acquainted since that day, and photographing a place that you are allowed in got boring after the first two times so we just became friends.

I searched for her, but instead saw a brown girl istead. A new girl. Someone I was not ready to see. I stopped breathing the second she raised her head and I could see her almond eyes better, the spark on her cheeks reflecting the sun. The next thing I knew I had my face on the concrete, with the same elbow scratched, again. 

“Shit, are you ok? You're bleeding” she (yes, she!) said to me.

“I-I’m cool, I’m cool… you know,just...whatever, happens all the time and shit...” . My mouth doesn’t know how to work when my brain is in complete shock with the view, apparently. 

“You should at least wash it, your elbow could get infected, come on inside” she said, as she held my hand and arm very softly. You could see she was trying not to touch the injury much, but I swear I wasn’t feeling my entire body. 

Chapter 3: Betty 

“I suppose we should have a first aid kit here, somewhere…”- he’s painting my sink in red as the water runs in the wound. What a way to start. “Eliza, Skyler, help me; you go look if you find anything in the bathroom and you, keep at the kitchen cabinets”.

“It’s on the upper shelf, actually”, he answers.

It was.What the fuck?

“So you live here now?!?!” I hear a voice from behind that isn’t my mother’s. It’s the biology major,even though she is blonder than her facebook pictures.

“I-I-I just… arrived…. I’m sorry he… I was just...” Was I ever going to come up with the right sequence of words to explain that I, a girl she never met, had got into her house with a bleeding,also strange boy and two teenagers running wild looking through her stuff? The chances are beyond unlikely,at its best. 

“Not you, I was expecting you- I mean  him”, she arched her eyebrows.

“Inez ! long time no see, girl!”, he replies with a sort of laughing, trying to lighten up the mood. I wasn't understanding one bit of what was going on.

“ You couldn’t wait for the party so you just brought it right in yourself, huh? Look at the mess you made in my kitchen! You know, I am leaving here next year so you better make a good impression of yourself for the other girls if you want to keep falling in our doorstep and getting aid” 

“I don’t think I’m their first option but I can make it work, never smile at someone and didn’t get a smile back” he says softly, kind of taking advantage of it, as he smiles at Inez, and she tries to hold it, but smiles back. I smile a little bit too, but still- what the fuck is happening?!?! 

“ You believe that your white teeth will get you anywhere, don’t you?”

“It got me aid the first time I ever felt in your doorstep. Also got you letting me teach you how to skateboard,which was super cool” he started sounding a little bit more teenager-y. How old was he? 

“ I always wanted to skate, you just happened to have a skateboard”. The air in the room was decrisealing chaotic. What he did worked. 

“Oh, like we were the only two people here, I am so sorry; hi, I’m Inez, welcome home,Beatrice!” she turns to me, shaking my hand, with a relaxed smile on. 

“Thank you, you can call me Betty” He really softened the mood, the words even came out of my mouth normally. 

���Ok, sure. I was meant to be here earlier but I had a salon appointment. But you met the house mascot already,so that’s one thing out of the list”- she points at this skater, sitting on the sink- “ This is James, he’s around more than he should. Do you need help? with the boxes?” And then I remembered of my sisters, running loose around the house and my mom, probably on the car outside. 

“ My sisters and I got everything by the porch already, there aren’t many”

“Fine, I will just wrap up this skater’s arm in a band-Aid and then I’ll show you your room. Clem is your roommate. You are enrolled in political science too, right?”

“Yeah”

“Nice, I think you two will be quite a match then. James, get your board rolling outta here, you are done, you can stop scarring my new roomate. 

“ Thanks, ‘Nez” he hopped out of the sink. “ It was never my intention to scare you. Nice meeting you, Betty” he gives me a quiet smile, looking into my eyes just for a second before looking at the ground. He ran a little bit down the hallway, got on the skateboard and went out of sight. He had this boyish posture, stubborn, unaware of his own size. His broad shoulders moved along with his waist as he strolled away. It was nice meeting you,too,James.

[thisismetryin]

so a few things i want to say before the album and the cardigan mv drops:

i’m changing my url soon for sure. i honestly had been thinking about changing my url for a few days now even before the folklore announcement (i was gonna go for finallycleans but taylor said no so); i think i will use alliexs for an actual allie x sideblog

i have a few predictions!

taylor said in the premiere comments that there’s a teenager love triangle; i think illicit affairs and invisible string will be part of that triangle

i was supposed to make this post last night but i forgot anyway

i’m the most excited for hoax and illicit affairs because i am by nature very curious

atrl insider said the whole album’s folk acoustic which i love

the last great american dynasty will have strings yes but also like... ahh i think it will for sure be political in some way

i hate that the inner circle was right

i claimed epiphany and this is me trying but i’m... slightly worried about this is me trying bc i’m worried it will be about her trying to speak up politically, “damned if you do and damned if you don’t” bc :/ but i am. hoping she will not go this route

wild guess: i think the 1 will be about love. like “the one” - maybe about joe? (arden thinks it’ll be a play on “the one that got away” hmmm) OR it could be like... the one dream. the one sound she has now. the one the only taylor swift? ahhh *screams*

i previously misread mirrorball as mirrorHall but yes and i was thinking it would be about a disco ball but now that i know mirrorball means “treat people how you’re treated” or sth that is. interesting

please don’t have songs about the kanye situation taylor please i beg he’s having a breakdown please i don’t like him but please no more

i’m calling it: hoax is about people not social distancing. hoax is about stupid people who think covid is a hoax. i am probably absolutely wrong but i will die on this hill yes

back to the teenage love triangle: i think illicit affairs and invisible string are part of the trinity. possibly also this is me trying?

i’m so excited though that she will be doing characters... i can’t wait to be FED

exile... i don’t know what exile will be about. miss americana, voted most likely to run away with you? i honestly don’t know bon iver outside of skinny love but i am extremely excited

why didn’t taylor collab with mr hozier pls

same with mr vance joy pls

it’s 15 minutes till folklore i am losing my mind as always

i think i will listen to the album first and then watch the mv

okay see you all on the other side

OH also stray august theory: what if august is about her and joe getting married in august or something? (but also other people have suggested that this is the “cruel summer” hmm interesting)

edit: which 5 songs do you think will have swearing? i think exile, mad woman, hoax, mirrorball, the last great american dynasty

[thelasttime]

is illicit affair about the love triangle too? i know cardigan, betty and august are the love triangle songs but illicit affair also makes sense..

hm, there’s a reddit theory going around that says “illicit affair” is part of the love triangle. she said there were only three songs in the teenage love triangle during her youtube q&a session but i suppose you could also throw “illicit affair” into the mix (but not officially)

[takaraphoenix]

You've said that female characters mostly reduced to the love interests, or that all they're thinking are their bf or love interests. But imo, this case access to the male characters as well. Percy doesn't think about Grover for example, I've always expected it to be there in his mind because of he's his bff. Instead, Grover just is... not that much of important anymore I guess? He doesn't think or concern that much about the demigods in CHB, whether they're okay or not. 1/9

They meet with the f-ing Hercules and Percy never once gets upset or brings the Zoe’s name in the ship. Instead, we see Percy’s making the dam joke in the MoA and saying it’s an inside joke. Which shows that Zoe is still in his mind. But dude, RR, please. If you’re gonna make Percy to come across with Hercules, and never once make him salty or angry with trying to acting on it while the other characters in the ship saying ‘’Percy dont1!!’ Then I’m sorry but what’s the meaning of those cases? 2/9            

7 team dynamic and friendship are basically dead. Riordan puts 7 supposedly all different characters in a ship and all dynamic that exists is mostly the love triangles. I don’t know if you talked about this issue but I’d like to see you point on this. Bc it was an important part in the series and Rick’s not playing with the potential actually is disappointing. He just mostly focuses on fricking romance instead and it’s annoying. 3/9            

Similar cases also existed in first series too. For example worst offender was whole Calypso case. I first thought that it wasn’t Percy’s fault that Gods didn’t keep their promises. But it was actually his fault, and also Annabeth and the others were at fault as well because of they legit thought Gods would keep their promises. I mean, dude. They even broke their biggest oaths and you all know it, and now you tell me that you never once checked out the gods’s jobs? 4/9            

In order to see if they kept their promises or not? Honestly it’s so… dumb? There must be a character development on this, basing on this situation, it does suck too. Percy should’ve learned that gods don’t keep their promises. And he should’ve checked it out himself after the war ends. Let’s say Percy was dumb, but Annabeth? She is a child of the Athena, who supposedly is smart, but never comes up with the idea of checking things out instead of just trusting gods to do their jobs. 5/9            

Or any other character, no one points the issue out. I’m not sure if this case was intentional or not, or RR himself just forgot about this but man, it comes across as such a bad writing. Also another biggest offender was May goddamn Castellan. So RR, you’re saying to me that no one, no Percy, Annabeth, Thalia, didn’t go to her house in order to see if she’s okay or not after war and events?In order to help her case, even if she’s still crazy or is cured? Or, was underw-kiss more important? 6/9            

After learning about her case, none of them didn’t ever wonder? What the actuality? Bob is another big offender. Not because of Percy left him; he didn’t. Bc you see, Bob was never his friends unlike Calypso. He was just a Titan, there was no actual friendship or anything. And it’s kinda dumb that Rick tries to portray Percy as a terrible friend in this case rather than pointing out other issues in his writing. 7/9            

But then in the Tartarus, they built a relationship, this time it’s actual. But when they go to the Doors, Percy never once actually try to save Bob or Damasen and it’s just…. I’d expected Percy to pull a thing in the end and sending them to the doors with risking his own life bc it’s Percy’s supposed characteristic element; he would do anything for his friends. But it just… doesn’t exist? Why it was never a big characteristic issue right there when you had to chance to write it? 8/9            

Also, at the end of the boO, Percy just generally is okay with sending his friends to fight with Gaia. They have a talk with Frank 1 minute, and after that, it’s all okay. No big issue. I guess it was so much challenging to pull that, RR. I believe that there are so much other problematic events but those came to mind at this time. Sorry if this was so much long and salty rant. *looks at the rant and cries in salt* 9/9            

Uhm, so, I love getting asks, I really do. But at a certain length, I think you should consider maybe… writing your own post and just tagging me in it if you want me to see it, because daaamn this is very… very… long. xD”

But yeah no, the boys are just as bad as the girls, that was never up for discussion. The question was just very explicitely about female characters, so I’m definitely not gonna drag guys into that. *chuckles*

Everything in Heroes of Olympus is about the romance. I mean seriously absolutely everything because even the villains shipped it - Gaia wanting specifically the blood of Annabeth and Percy because they totally are her OTP, Arachne having a tapestry of the underwater kiss how the ever-loving did she even know that happened how is that not the creepiest, most inappropriate and weird thing to happen in that entire gods damned series. They shoulda named that ship Ark II not Argo II, because it’s all about pairing up. It’s just that, in that ask, we were specifically talking about the bad writing of the female characters! ;)

Honestly. The Grover thing. I think that’s more on Riordan not thinking about Grover than on Percy. Like. I feel as though Riordan temporarily forgot Grover exists because he was so busy shipping. Because Coach Hedge should not have been on that ship. The satyr to go with them should have been Grover. Grover and Percy should have gotten a proper reunion. Instead, one throw-away dream-spy sequence where we got to see him and Rachel. So cheap.

The lack of friendship dynamics was most disappointing, yeah. Everything was about love. Even the one damn quest where all the girls could have bonded - lol nope it’s not a quest it’s actually a tea party with Aphrodite to talk about your love life!!! Because girls!!! Doing girl stuff!!! Seriously, old straight man writing teenage girls? Cringe.

Okay no I find it really asking too much that Percy shoulda pushed the gods about Calypso. Bear in mind the time. The war ended on August 18th. Percy gets abducted on December 15th. That’s four months. Four months of PTSD, of rebuilding the camp, of having a lot of other shit on his mind. If like… an actual big amount of time had passed and Percy had never checked? Okay. Yeah. That’s on him. But within four months? And… it’s not just Percy who had a lot of shit on his mind, let’s be honest, so did the gods. Tartarus was broken into, Olympus was demolished, very shortly thereafter they started having that identity crisis and souls started escaping from Hades. Four months pass in no time at all, especially when you do have a lot on your to-do list.

Same goes for May. Seriously. It’s only been a total of four months. I… genuinely would not have half a mind to care about a total stranger like May Castellan in the middle of my whole entire world kinda coming apart in a war and me having to deal with my own personal aftermath of that?? I mean, those are literal children who just saw their friends and family murdered in a war and who fought in that war themselves. I really, really do think that they had enough on their mind without caring to check in and see if this total stranger had been taken care of… And Percy, Thalia and Annabeth, were like the only ones with any kind of investment or even knowledge there, I mean it’s not like May was public knowledge and everybody cared. And who knows, maybe Thalia did go there off screen, check on her with the Hunt.

I’m generally not okay with Riordan’s attempt at portraying Percy as a bad friend in HoO. It’s wildly OoC. He established Percy’s fatal flaw to be that he would let the world burn for his friends, but suddenly he can’t be bothered with said friends? Both, Calypso and Bob, as used by Riordan, then the lack of Grover, the lack of… of any big reunion aside from Annabeth. He took this character that he specifically created as a very loving and devoted friend and suddenly made him not really care and also not really making friends. Yeah, Frank and Hazel. But… Percy Jackson? The Percy Jackson from the first series? He’d have been friends with everyone on the ship in five hours flat.

I STILL DON’T GET THE BOB AND DAMASEN PART. FUCK YEAH. Seriously, it’s been years and this still bugs me. That Percy and Annabeth were just like “Well. The doors closed. They dead now. Such a shame”. What the actual fuck was that. Try to save them! You could have still saved them!!! That was, too, so very OoC. Like Percy Jackson would just turn his back and let two of his comrades die.

[orangeflowerpetals]

August out of context is a asheiji song no I won't be taking criticism

[fayfya]

From the Case Files of Ellery Conroran

Saturday, August 31st

I am being forced to move in with my Nana in Echo Ridge, Vermont thanks to my mom driving her car into a jewelry store while she was high on opioids and having to go to rehab. The town and my new school are tiny, but luckily there is a lot for a true crime aficionado like me to investigate in town. My aunt Sarah (Mom’s twin) disappeared when she and my mom we young and 5 years ago, my Nana’s neighbor teenage daughter Lacey was murdered. On top of that, Nana, her neighbor Melanie (Lacey’s mom), and my twin brother Ezra came across a dead body on the way home from the airport. Talk about a bad omen.

Here’s what I know about each case:

Lacey Kilduff, a beautiful blonde homecoming queen was found strangled in a Halloween theme park called Murderland 5 years ago. The case was never solved, though her boyfriend Declan Kelly was suspected and has since fled town. Me and Ezra want to get jobs at Murderland, now called Fright Farm, to see if we can learn more about Lacey’s murder.

My mother’s twin sister, Sarah, disappeared without a trace when she and Sadie were in high school, right after Sadie was crowned homecoming queen. No one ever talks about what happened and no one ever mentions her.

A police officer named Ryan Rodriguez came to interview our family about the body this morning. He must be new because he seemed really nervous. Nana told us later that both his parents died recently, so maybe he is just sad. I was a crap witness, but Nana remembered a lot. I guess the guy was a science teacher at the high school. Nana thinks he was out collecting hail and got hit by a car.

Monday, September 9th

So, there’s some pretty creep vandalism going around. Someone wrote “MURDERLAND THE SEQUEL COMING SOON” on the outside of the cultural center during a fundraiser before school started and now we found three dolls hanging from the top of a mausoleum with nooses around their necks, drenched in red paint, with the message “I’M BACK. PICK YOUR QUEEN, ECHO RIDGE. HAPPY HOMECOMING”. The weird thing is, Malcolm Kelly, a guy in my grade who just happens to be Declan Kelly’s brother, was the one who found both. Somehow, I believe he didn’t do it, though. It just seems too cliche for him to be a vandal.

Ezra and I have started at Fright Farms. Pretty boring stuff so far, but I hope I will learn something about what’s going on at school.

Also, I asked Nana about Sarah and she told me a couple of things! She said Sarah was smart, reading constantly, and asking questions. People thought she was quiet, but she had a sort of dry humor. She was good at math and science, she liked astronomy, and she wanted to work at NASA when she grew up. She and Sadie were thick as thieves and loved to mimic each other and fool people. Which makes it even more weird that Sadie never talks about her.

Thursday, September 19th

I got on homecoming court. I don’t know how that happened since no one here knows me well enough to nominate me and it is really freaking me out, especially with all the graffiti and stuff. The next day, my god damn locked got vandalized with a twisted doll and the message “REMEMBER MURDERLAND, PRINCESS? I DO. '' Katrin and Brooke (the other nominees) have the same on their lockers. I think this is happening because I am connected to Sarah. The school newspaper has started calling this guy the “Homecoming Stalker”.

Friday, September 27th

Everyone is on edge this week, but so far the homecoming dance is still on and we went to a pep rally at Fright Farm tonight. Nana arranged for Officer Rodriguez to give us a ride. Sadie called on the way there. We asked her about her own homecoming, but she said she didn’t really remember it and tried to change the subject. I was able to find out she went to the dance with Vance Puckett and asked about Sarah, but got no answer. She hung up right after that. I don’t think she ever got closure about Sarah’s disappearance. Unfortunately, the Homecoming Stalker struck again with more threats during the rally. I’m beginning to get used to it, really. I had a “moment” with Malcom Kelly afterwards, but it was interrupted by us hearing Brooke drunk in the next room and needing to check on her. She was acting super weird and kept talking about having to show them and what happened. Then she asked me if I had ever made a bad mistake and said she wished everything was different. Malcom took us home and was going to drop off Brooke next.

Saturday, September 28th

Officer Rodriguez came by this morning to tell us that Brooke didn’t come home last night. He wanted to make sure I was safe. Nana freaked out more than I’ve ever seen. She started going off on him about how they police was doing nothing to protect us even though threats had been made. Things are not looking good for Malcolm right now… Officer Rodriguez immediately started questioning us. This time I was good witness, remember the paperclips, the “that’s what she said” joke that Brooke made, and her weird comments. I told him about the ride home and make sure he understood it was just by chance that we came across Brooke. I did skip the part where Malcolm asked if he could call me. I have become suspicious of Malcolm, but Ezra thinks it is a distraction and Melcolm had nothing to do with it. He doesn’t read as much true crime as I do.

Malcolm came over to talk to Ezra and me. He says he dropped Brooke off at her house and saw her go inside. He says there are rumors going around that he and Brooke were hooking up, but that they aren’t true. I told him we believed him.

Monday, September 30th

The homecoming dance is still on, but has been scaled down and there won’t be a court. I am relieved. Malcolm is getting harassed at school, so that sucks. Ezra and I are just getting stared at. Everyone was suspicious of Malcolm already just because he is Declan’s brother.

Who is committing these crimes? If I’ve learned anything from true crime, when a girl goes missing it is almost always the boyfriend or husband. Declan could be guilty. I am suspicious of Vance Puckett because he was Sadie’s boyfriend and is always hanging around. I’m also not sure if the police are incompetent or covering up for someone. Rumor has it Ryan Rodriguez had a huge crush on Lacey, but she never paid attention to him. That could be motice. I’m not so sure about Officer McNulty, either.

I also found out today that Declan is dating Daisy Kwan, who was Lacey’s best friend. This makes both of them look suspicious if there was a love triangle 5 years ago.

Wednesday, October 2

Search parties all day, candle light vigils all night. The same few theories keep circulating: Brooke just ran away, she’s the victim of the Murderland killer, one of the Kelly boys did something to her.

Mom called because she heard about Brooke and the threats. I got upset that she never talked about Sarah and she told me she felt guilty because she was losing her virginity after the homecoming dance when Sarah disappeared. She feels responsible for Sarah’s disappearance because she was supposed to be with her. She said there was more she wanted to tell me, but had to go.

Tried to get some info out of Vance when he came into the park. I didn’t get much, but he did say Brooke asked him how to pick a lock.

Thursday, October 3rd

Daisy admitted that she liked Declan all through high school. She said right before she died, Lacey showed up with a bracelet that looked like 2 antler twisted together. She tried to find out more about it, but was unsuccessful. She turned the bracelet in to Officer Rodriguez. Interesting.

Friday, October 4th

Did some lock picking myself and found a car repair bill in a fake sounding name for Malcolm’s stepsister’s car. The car was brought in August 31st, the day after Mr. Bowman was killed.

Saturday, October 5th

Hanging out with Malcolm instead of going to the homecoming dance. My current theory is that Malcom’s stepsister Katrin is responsible for Brooke’s disappearance. She hit Mr. Bowman with her car, made Brooke help cover it up, started the vandalism as a distraction, and Brooke ran away because she was scared. Declan and I headed to homecoming to see if we can catch her in the act, but nothing happened.

Sunday, October 6th

There was a body found in the woods. It is Brooke.

Thursday, October 10th

Malcolm thinks it was Declan. I am starting to agree with him.

Sunday, October 13th

It’s all wrapped up and I wasn’t even close. Though I still almost died in the process. It wasn’t Katrin, it was her dad Peter. Peter caught us talking about how we suspected him. He was having an affair with BrookeHe took our phones lead us downstairs. We figured out he framed Declan for Lacey’s murder (THAT WAS HIM, TOO!) and was going to frame him for Brooke, too. He’d been having affairs with Brooke and Lacey and said they had overstepped in some way. When I asked about Sarah, Peter whispered “I thought she was your mother” in my ear. Petrifying. I will never tell anyone he said that. I was terrified and thought Malcolm and I had not way out! He left us in a room locked from the outside with a portable electric generator running. We both passed out, but Officer Rodriguez saved us! He had tracked the bracelet back to Peter. I had texted him before Peter took our phones. I didn’t answer when he called, so he came looking for me! The threats were fabricated by Viv so she could have a good story to write about and submit to colleges. They were not related after all. What a scary first 6 weeks in Echo Ridge! I’m glad the murders have been solved and Peter is in jail where he belongs.

[rachelratesmusic]

folklore

folklore: Taylor Swift’s first album to be labelled Alternative, her second genre change since country to pop, this time from pop to alternative, or folk, but we definitely still have that country story-telling flare that Taylor has always capitalised from over her approximately 14 year career.

And her second album to not be capitalised, after reputation. 

Track 1: the 1

First line of the album? “I’m doing good, I'm on some new shit.” Couldn’t think of a better lyric to start. New genre. New producer (Aaron Dessner of The National). New album. New Taylor. She’s doing good! Let’s go! 

Track 2: cardigan

The ~delicate~ piano and Dessner production continues from track 1 to track 2, but this time, sonically, there’s an eerie-ness that emphasizes this sadness in the song, which is set from the perspective of someone who has been heartbroken, which Taylor herself has described a teenage love triangle, who’s story is told this track, track 8 august, and track 14 betty. The metaphors in the lyrics tell the story so maturely and beautifully, kind of like this teenage girl is far beyond her years... Maybe someone fairly recently turned 30 and had a lot of life experience…? Maybe Taylor’s most beautifully written lead single ever… Actually not maybe - definitely.

Track 3: the last great american dynasty

Another piano intro… ok… this is definitely sonically cohesive so far.

Oh! An 808 beat now. I’m head nodding! Oh… and she’s still storytelling… nice, that’s why it is called folklore. We take a slight turn here in terms of the mood instrumentally, but not really in terms of the lyrics, or this album's case, the stories being told. The mostly staccato piano chords contrasting the legato guitar slide fills along with the 808 electronic drum beat create a sort of light, bouncy, exhilaration, but what cleverly stops this exhilaration is the word painting where a minor chord is used on top of the second last word of the chorus, which is the word “ruining”, as well as a string section rising in volume to introduce us to the bridge, which is the climax of the story and the highlight of the song. Because in the bridge Taylor does what Taylor does best, which is the contribution of her own story through the lyrics, and that’s a part of the reason why we’re all devoted listeners.

Track 4: exile (featuring Bon Iver)

tbh... I’d never heard any Bon Iver music before this... I know, I know, I’m sorry. So on first listen I was ~low key~ startled at his hella low voice. But this song has grown on me. It can easily be compared to The Last Time on Taylor’s Red from 2012 where she duets with Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol but I prefer exile. What makes this song imo is when Bon Iver sings the word “CRyin’” around the 2 minute and 20 second mark, which again like the last track, the bridge of this song is what you’re waiting for as a listener to take you to new heights, where both vocalists deliver here, with Bon Iver ~nearly~ belting and Taylor being the opposite responder at more of a soft, tender volume, they both deliver the two different sides of the story in two different captivating ways.

Track 5: my tears ricochet

Look… I’ll be honest again… This is... MY FAVOURITE TRACK.

The standout part of this song is it’s whole buildup and the lyrics. ---(come on, we’re talking about a Taylor Swift track 5 here, historically we know it’s going to be a standout in the lyric department and Taylor herself has described every track 5 of each of her albums to be her saddest songs) Also historically, Taylor fans know that this section of her albums are where the best lyrics are kept. 

First track on this album to be produced by long time collaborator of Swift, Jack Antonoff, the track begins with vocal ‘ohs’ reminiscent for me, of Imogen Heap, where now I feel I have to mention when Taylor collaborated with her on Taylor’s standout track “Clean” on 1989 from 2014. While Heap’s work may be littered with vocoders and electronics, my tears ricochet is natural, and surrounds the listeners ears with panning and reverb like they’re in a room surrounded by echoing Taylors. Then she makes you feel like you have betrayed her with how far she lets in, both with her detailed lyrics and how she is singing with the pacing of the melody, stopping and starting.

The build up is really noticeable as the bridge starts and the thundering drums hammer home the idea that Taylor can’t go home and after all this building, she lets go on the words “stolen lullabies”, where you feel this sense of freedom when the backing vocals of the intro return before the last chorus and again, the outro of those surrounding vocals we know so well.

With lyrics like “and if I’m dead to you, why are you at the wake?” and “you wear the same jewels that I gave you, as you bury me.” my tears ricochet easily triggers chills. (literal chills)

Track 6: mirrorball

And now… we have stepped into the past. The tone and picking of the electric guitar in the intro and first verse take me right back to the 70s… when I wasn’t alive…

Anyway, it’s another song about her personal struggles around fame and trying to “fit in” and stand out, which she encompasses so elegantly in the metaphor of being a shiny, shimmery disco mirrorball. 

And sorry, as much as I do love it… it is the one song I would skip if I had to… and sometimes it’s skipped by choice, which tells you it’s the weakest track on the album in my opinion, but not easy to live up to the previous track that is so intense, so it is nice to have a more chill take in music and lyrics, although the lyrics can be really thought provoking if you want them to be.

Side note: where are the drums in this song? To hear the kick drum I have to focus really hard, which can be a good thing if you’re looking for a chill song, like I said I was after my tears ricochet, but it’s not a good thing either...

Track 7: seven

Every single little detail of this song is so elegant. Aaron Dessner’s light touches on the piano and guitar as well as the accompanying string section are just guides for the vocals telling the story of the love shared between friends throughout childhood and how that love lasts, so long which Taylor describes so eloquently in my favourite lyric of the entire album, “passed down like folk songs, our love lasts so long.”

The slightly higher pitch and slightly hushed tone Taylor sings in as the song begins, is unlike anything she has sung before. It reminds me of her previous tracks “Sad Beautiful Tragic” from her fourth album Red from 2012 or “Safe and Sound'' from the The Hunger Games soundtrack, but those songs were hushed and low pitched. 

Where she sings like this is labelled as the first verse by Genius, where everyone gets the lyrics to songs nowadays, but how the two contrasting melodies are sung, to me the first section or melody seemed like the chorus the first few times I listened, but the second section or melody is also the closing melody and it would make the most sense the end on a chorus. While this may be confusing, at least it is a bit to me, I’m glad that Taylor has strayed away from the traditional pop structure in this track which is another reason why seven really stands out to me. 

Track 8: august

The third song to be produced by Antonoff, August is what I’m going to describe as a getaway song - and by that I mean there’s a certain urgency to the pacing because something wild is happening! Whether it’s robbing someone or something in “Getaway Car” from reputation (2017) or crying in the back of the car in Lover’s “Cruel Summer”, also both co-written and produced by Antonoff, August joins this exclusive club.

The chorus melody is pretty and bright - while it feels mature, at the same time it feels like I am hearing this story from a love struck teenager, which you’re supposed to as it’s a part of the teenager love triangle story Taylor has going through the album, with this being the point of view of the third person in the relationship.

August’s bridge is it’s invitation to my made up Getaway Song party, which is a very exclusive and elitist party. The urgency in the pacing to pump up the climax of the story she’s telling, is very much becoming a TS trademark, I’ll be very happy in the future to give out more invitations to the Getaway Song party.

Track 9: this is me trying

Not gonna lie… this is simply one of my favorites because I feel it! This is me trying dammit! At least I’m trying! But this is what Taylor Swift does best, when you have the same feelings or emotions as her, and she decides to express those emotions in song, you can feel like you’re not alone for a moment which can be freeing.

While not outstanding production wise, I feel I can let it pass, because I love Taylor’s storytelling and ability to depict the craving for wanting better of yourself and trying...

Track 10: illicit affairs

Where were these pre-pop Taylor acoustic guitars before on an album called folklore?! Taylor is a guitar girl and I need my pre-pop Taylor acoustic guitar instrumentals!

While the title clearly indicates the story’s substance, this track feels like it’s over in the blink of an eye, while yet again, the highlight of the track is the bridge. Personally, it’s my favourite of the album beating “my tears ricochet” and “august”. There’s just something about it’s steady beating progression and particularly the way she emphasises the words “kid” and “baby”. It draws you in to feel the pain of the story’s protagonist, as well as it makes you want to shout the lyrics to help the protagonist get some sort of justice.

Track 11: invisible string

The acoustic guitar continues, and I am overjoyed, but this time it’s different, where a muting technique is employed, with an accent on the highest pitch string, which isn’t muted to create a sort of release. While writing this description of the guitar, despite having already listened to the song a million times, I thought, the song is called Invisible String, a guitar has strings, and the muted are muted, or made to sound invisible? Nice word painting Taylor. It took me a second. (If it was even done on purpose.)

More on the actual “invisible string”, I love the metaphor of it which seems to be based on Chinese mythology’s “Red Thread of Fate”. Which you get a loose description of through the songs lyrics. Along with the previous track, “the 1”, “invisible string” sounds the most pop-like to me out of the entire album so far. This is because there is a clear difference between verse, chorus and bridge, where the chord pattern actually changes between each of the three. All of these things combined makes for one of my favourite tracks on the album. And lastly, how can I not mention the mentioning of her own song “Bad Blood” in the second verse? 

Track 12: mad woman

I can’t help but think this is the grown up version of The Man. In saying that however, I don’t mean at all that The Man is not good - it brings up serious issues in a very dignified way. 

But “mad woman” is a song all on her own with beautiful, but at the same time, dark instrumentation and lyrics that really make you think about what she's talking about, which is something slightly different to “The Man”. Whether it’s her core shaking lower register or her first use of an F bomb ever, it’s sure to catch your attention before she opens to the lyric “you made her like that”, and then the bridge, where I have probably mentioned before in this review, Taylor really opens up the story, while plainly stating, “you took everything from me.”

The sonic cohesion continues with the guitar in the back of chorus, very similar to TLGAD, which is peaking out as being a signature of Aaron production.

Track 13: epiphany

“Epiphany” stands out. In the best way, and if you’re a Taylor fan you’d expect it to, as track 13s have traditionally throughout her discography, being her lucky number. 

I’m not going to lie, this is the hardest song to describe and rate. Because it is so different, and honestly, that is why I really love it. Strung out vocals in the verse, contrasted with more staccato vocals in the chorus, the wide, elongated instrumentation, behind those vocals, it’s easy to depict some sort of battlefield scene in your head. Which actually links to it’s one thing in common with the other tracks in this album.

And what is the one thing in common with the other tracks in this album? It’s storytelling. And this story’s substance really makes you think, continuing the tradition from “mad woman”, but with a completely different storyline focusing on and drawing together the harsh events of 2020 and a past war where Swift has stated that the track was also inspired by her serving grandfather. 

Track 14: betty

“Betty” concludes the teenage love triangle trilogy of songs and stands out as one of the more pop-ier songs on the album. Like Bon Iver’s voice was a surprise on “exile”, the harmonica was a welcomed surprise on “betty”. 

There are two components to this song that make it a great one, those being it’s clear instrumentation, and it's clear story. Let’s start with story, where I already said that this is the final chapter to the teenage love triangle story, I believe this song doesn’t need an explanation, because, and this is the last time I speak about storytelling, this one song is like a good book and tells the story (one side of it, that’s where the other songs come in) from beginning to end. 

And then the instrumentation, which is just vocals and harmonica on top of a marvelous sea of all sorts of guitars, with the strumming acoustic keeping the beat, and electric swells. With this track being the only one that joins both Aaron Dessner and Jack Antonoff as producers, it’s not hard to imagine they’ve both just picked up guitars and added to Taylor’s charming story. 

In the ending where we see a key change and slight change from the chorus lyrics to tie up the happy ending to the story, “betty” cannot not be compared to Taylor’s 2008 hit “Love Story” where in the ending the lyrics are changed to sum up and fit the joy of a happy ending.

Track 15: peace

This track begins with a pulse, which Dessner has described as Bon Iver inspired. This pulse then flutters away and leads into more guitar, and by this stage you should know it’s what I’m waiting for - but it’s a bass guitar taking the lead ostinato or riff this time. Even better, because it’s unexpected, a punch in the guts, they say, like a harmonica on a post country Taylor Swift album? I need to stop going on about the harmonica, this album is called folklore.

While this track illustrates the love shared with that one person, it is no “Lover” (the song) or “Love Story”. It’s like this is the real life side, or the grown up side to real love, with statements like, “sit with you in the trenches” and that one question, “would it be enough if I could never give you peace?” I think it really demonstrates how far she’s come, along with that pulse soundscape , bass guitar and piano towards the end makes for an uncomplicated lead to Taylor’s most thought provoking lyrics in a romantic based song ever as well as being probably her most sophisticated song ever.

The devil really is in the details with Taylor’s music, which is both super comforting and complicated at the same time, with references to past songs, and I’m not even going to start to explain how Taylor is obsessed with leaving her fans easter eggs, but it’s kind of funny how this album had pretty much zero easter eggs in the lead up to it. Now I’m feeling comforted again. 

Track 16: hoax

Speaking of feeling comfortable - shh. I’m listening to “hoax”, sitting next to the fire burning in my fireplace, wrapped in a blanket, with snow falling ever so softly out my window. Nope, that’s just the image in my head I get from listening to “hoax”, I live in Australia where it doesn’t snow much. 

“hoax” is slightly lackluster dynamically for an album closer in Taylor’s discography, compared to Daylight from Lover or Clean from 1989 with New Years Day from reputation being the exception, which I also feel is slightly lackluster. Based on it’s soft sound, I’d prefer it wasn’t the album closer, even though it is lovely to feel so cozy as the album does close out. 

But besides that, it is a cozy sounding song with some not so cozy lyrics. Closing out softly, it’s another case of Taylor leaving possibly her best and most beautiful words for last, with lyrics such as, “Stood on the cliffside screaming give me a reason, your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in.”

3 Facts:

1. This is the first time ever that Taylor has had an explicit rated album and songs. So exciting.

2. Her first collaboration with Jack Antonoff was in 2013 when they created the song “Sweeter Than Fiction” for the film One Chance, and Taylor has since used Antonoff as a producer on every one of her albums.

3. Nobody knows for sure who William Bowery is. Who is William Bowery you ask? William Bowery is a co-writer of “exile” and “betty”. There is speculation… But no one knows...

To tie things up, Taylor delivered, this album is what a lot of people wanted, including myself. And what we wanted was a warm, acoustic, story focused album, which we got. But for me there is one thing missing, and I’m not exactly sure whether it is possible that it would fit on a flok-y warm album, but I miss Taylor’s pop catchy melody songwriting that we’ve all grown used to, where a hook would get stuck in your head for days. Not exactly folk-y, I know, but I miss it from Taylor. Not to take away from the fact at all that this is a very strong, solid album in her discography and a completely different weapon up her sleeve compared to her pop and country past.

My favourite tracks: my tears ricochet, seven, peace, this is me trying, illicit affairs, invisible string, epiphany

4.7/5 - it’s not perfect, but is it Taylor’s closest album to perfection? Possibly…

[anythingstephenking]

Drive My Car

After months without turning a single page, I am crusin’! Man I am really on a roll! If you haven’t guessed yet, I am making car puns, as we dive (drive?) into Christine, the killer car story King promised his publishers would come after Different Seasons.

(Side note: while reading I make notes on my phone of pages to reference back to, cause only a real monster dog-ears pages. My notes on Christine read “crusin’…. on a roll… think of other car puns.” I didn’t.)

Although Wikipedia claims this book was published in ’82, it was actually released in ’83. Really letting me down Wikipedia. But happily I move into the next year of King books, and one step closer to catching them all like they were a buncha Pokemon.

This cover art is the tits. Also, the author’s photo on the back! Lastly, the inner cover with SK initialed in red and gold, like Gryffindor for serial killers.

This book has no preface or afterword, which is where I usually learn all my fun facts, so I did a bit more digging (nay, googling) for the backstory on this guy.

Well I couldn’t turn out much of interest. Sorry to disappoint. The story must have just appeared in King’s brain one day. I did love that the book was dedicated to George Romero. I have enjoyed learning all about King’s friendships, and imagine they all get together once a month in some kind of bizarro-minds-club, play cribbage and gripe about how everyone thinks they’re weirdos.

Posted without comment.

Each of the 51 chapters starts with a song lyric about cars. If you’ve ever listened to Car Talk, you know the list of songs about cars is long. I recognized the Bruce Springsteen ones. It was a throwaway device IMO, and just made me feel bad for the intern that had to work to get the rights to use 51 different song lyrics. King actually calls this out in a brief Author’s Note on the copyright page of my “Book Club” edition copy, thanking specific folks for helping him get the rights. OK, I guess I forgive you Stephen. Kisses.

On the surface, Christine is a story that is part killer car, part demon possession and part star-crossed lovers. I know, right? 

Christine tells the story of Arnie Cunningham and his car Christine. Annie is your run-of-the-mill nerd. He’s got bad skin and has never done anything his parents wouldn’t approve of. His best bud Dennis is decidedly a cooler cat - he plays football so that means he’s automatically elevated to a higher class.

One day Arnie sees Christine, sitting broken on the lawn of an equally broken house and decides he has to have her. Men (eyeroll). He buys her from the owner, Roland LeBay and off he goes to a local garage to fix her up.

Dennis is almost immediately unnerved by Christine. Rightfully so, since the car goes on to kill a bunch of people.

Then along comes Leigh Cabot, the new girl in school. All the guys have the hots for her, but she’s only got eyes for Arnie. For once, the pretty girl picks the nerd, and it doesn’t really go all that well for her. Pick the quarterback the next time honey.

So Arnie and Leigh are an item, and Leigh also hates Christine. No one can quite put their fingers on it, but a rotten smell runs through her interior and the radio seems stuck on the 50’s rock station. Dennis and Leigh are plagued by nightmares of Christine coming to life.

And suddenly the engine began to rev and fall off, rev and fall off; its a hungry sound, frightening, and each time the engine revs Christine seems to lunge forward a bit, like a mean dog on a weak leash… and I want to move… but my feet seem nailed to the cracked pavement of the driveway.

King takes his time to build the story up, as he so often does. Christine doesn’t claim her first victim until halfway through. Until then you’re stuck with this looming sense of dread, knowing terrible things are coming. Every time Christine’s headlights turned on by themselves I muttered “oh... no “ to myself.

It’s not enough that Christine comes to life and runs people over (even manages this feat on a guy who is inside his house), but Arnie begins to take on characteristics of the previous owner, Roland LeBay. Since Roland was a real grade-a asshole, this doesn’t sit well with his friend, girlfriend or family. He becomes more and more like LeBay, until there’s no nerd left. Watching Arnie fall apart is heartbreaking.

But past the surface, Christine is a story of the pains of growing up, which isn’t really a new theme for King, who came of age himself in the 50s. And so often with King’s stories of teenage agony, and even when the story takes place in 1978, the 50s are lurking.

Before Arnie’s demise, he makes off-handed comments about how his parents know that having kids remind them that they’re going to die. Pretty grim stuff.

And Dennis has this revelation while out in Christine for the first time:

I was surprised by a choking panic that climbed up in my throat like dry fire. It was the first time a feeling like that came over me that year - but not the last. Yet it’s hard for me to explain, or even define. It had something to do with realizing that it was August 11, 1978, that I was going to be a senior in high school next month, and that when school started again it meant the end of a long, quiet phase of my life. I was getting ready to be a grown-up, and I saw that somehow - saw it for sure, for the first time in that lovely but somehow ancient spill of golden light flooding the alleyway between a bowling alley and a roast beef joint. And I think I understood then that what really scares people about growing up is that you stop trying on the life-mask and start trying on another one. If being a kid is about learning how to live, then being a grown-up is about learning how to die.

And these kids learn their lesson.

In some ways, Christine felt like a stronger coming of age tale than The Body. I was really rooting for these kids.

7/10

First line: This is the story of a lover’s triangle, I suppose you’d say - Arnie Cunningham, Leigh Cabot, and, of course, Christine.

Last line: His unending fury.

Added Bonus: King said in an interview about Christine getting killed and perhaps coming back to life (35 year old spoiler, sorry!): "All I can think of would be if the parts are recycled, you'd end up with this sort of homicidal Cuisinart, or something like that!” 

Hardy Har Har! I might not be scared of cars but I am now scared of my food processor.

Adaptations:

Christine The Movie was the quickest turn-around from page to screen of any King movie, which began filming just as the book was released. The producer was a friend of King’s, and signed on before the book was published. He had his pick between Christine and Cujo, and chose Christine because Cujo seemed “too silly.” For real bro? I mean, they’re both great stories but I would tend to think of a rabid dog as a more serious threat than a sentient car that love Buddy Holly songs and blood.

1983 was a busy year for King movies. I’ve lost track since I am reading the books chronologically but not watching the movies that way. I’ve already watched some spectacularly bad King movies, but at this point in 1983, the movie-going public had only seen Carrie, Salem’s Lot and The Shining. Given the popularity of 2/3 of these movies, I bet everyone in Hollywood wanted their hands on the rights to a King story.

In 1983 Cujo, The Dead Zone and Christine all hit the big screens in August, October and December, respectively. I don’t know for sure but if I had to guess, that was too much King.

So, if you expect a whole lot of a John Carpenter movie about a killer car, well then, that’s your own fault. This movie was a lot of fun. As with so many King movies, his storytelling and character building just doesn’t translate to the big screen. The screenwriters seemed to not even care to try, boiling the main characters down to stereotypes. Arnie rocks giant glasses with tape across the arch; Dennis wears his letterman jacket; Leigh’s got great legs. Christine rolls around killing people that cross Arnie. There’s little mention of LeBay or his backstory in creating (or at least encouraging) Christine.

Instead, there’s the film’s opening sequence to explain Christine’s origin, which I just adored. Christine’s rolling along the production line in Detroit, the sole red car in a sea of white. A line worker attempts to open her hood, and it promptly clasps down on his hand. All while George Thorogood’s Bad To The Bone plays. Just on the nose, great start.

Unlike the novel with its clear themes of friendship, first love and looming adulthood, this movie is about one thing and one thing only - a killer car. Which is really ok. John Carpenter does his best and there’s some suspenseful moments with Halloween-esque sound effects. Whenever someone is pissing Christine off she locks her doors and Little Richard starts singing from her stereo "Keep a knockin' but you can't come in.” Christine catches on fire and still manages to run someone down, setting him on fire in the process. I’m not much a fan of big action sequences, but knowing they used almost 30 cars to make this and everything was filmed sans CGI made me appreciate it more.

Before I go, quick notes on the cast. Kevin Bacon was set to play Dennis, but chose to do Footloose instead. Good call, past Kevin Bacon. So they cast this guy, who is basically a poor man Kevin Bacon.

Leigh is played by Alexandra Paul, who would go on to rock a rad red swimsuit on Baywatch. Kelly Preston has a small role, and would go on to play the role of a lifetime as John Travolta’s wife. Rounding out the supporting cast was Robert Proskey (who I remember as Mr. Lundy in Mrs. Doubtfire), and Harry Dean Stanton who has basically been in everything.

Next up is Pet Semetery, which is (Chris Trager voice) literally my favorite King. My goal is to get through It before the new movie comes out in September, which means I have six books to get through in 3 months. So (spooky voice) I’ll be right back!

[cover2covermom]

  Goodbye July & hello August!

It is so crazy to think that summer is almost over.  My kids will be returning to school in T-minus 2 weeks!  As much as I dread the crazy schedule, I am ready to get back into the swing of things… well that and my children are driving me crazy, so it’s time to go back lol

Let’s see what I had going on in July shall we?

At the beginning of the month, I committed to making my blog a priority again.  I am slowly starting to get back into the blogging groove and be active in the community again.  I must say it feels great to be more consistent again.

    » Sisi: Empress on Her Own by Allison Pataki

Feelings in a few thoughts:

I’m very conflicted with my feelings with this one.  I am not sure my rating is fair either.  When I requested this on NetGalley, I didn’t realize that it was actually the SECOND book in the series.  I read this one without reading the first book, so this may have impacted my reading experience.  Take my thoughts/rating with a grain of salt.

Before reading this, I knew nothing about Empress Elisabeth of Austria-Hungary (Sisi).  I really like how the author took a controversial figure in history and tried to shed some light on her motivations in life.

The time hops throughout the book felt a little jarring at times.  The transitions felt a little off.

Sisi wasn’t exactly a likeable character, at least for me.  Despite the author’s attempts to show Sisi’s point of view, I still couldn’t help but cringe at Sisi’s selfishness throughout the novel.

» Cleopatra’s Daughter by Michelle Moran

Feelings in a few thoughts:

I really enjoyed this fictionalized account of the early years of Cleopatra Selene after she is taken in by Emperor Augustus after he defeated her parents, Mark Antony & Cleopatra.

This is my second novel about Cleopatra Selene, the first being The Daughter’s of Palatine Hill, I really liked both versions despite the fact that the authors’ portrayed the characters very differently.  Both books are good for different reasons: In Cleopatra’s Daughter, Moran really did a fantastic job with the setting and time period.  In Daughter’s of Palatine Hill, Smith did a great job with the political intrigue and cut-throat drama of the era.

The biggest strength of this novel was how well Moran set the scene.  You could really picture what it was like to live in Ancient Rome – at least how the ruling class lived.  When I read historical fiction, I want the author to take me to another time and place, and Moran did just that.

I wasn’t a fan of the audiobook narrator in the early parts of the book.  She went too overboard with her “whiney child voice” for portraying the characters as young children.

» The Keeper of Lost Things by Ruth Hogan

Feelings in a few thoughts:

This was a very sweet & charming story.

TKoLT felt more like a novella – coming in at just under 300 pages.  Since this was such a short book, Hogan may have been a little too ambitious with everything she included.

My biggest complaint would be that Laura’s romance in the novel took too much of a central role.

I really liked how the author gave us back stories for the lost things.  It almost felt like we were getting short stories throughout the novel.

I wanted more about the Keeper of Lost Things.  I also felt like the reuniting of the lost things was anti-climatic.  I was expecting the lost things to have made a bigger impact in the novel.

I could see how the format of the novel could be confusing, especially if you were listening to this audiobook format.  I would recommend reading this book instead of listening to it.

Overall I did enjoy this book, but the story had potential to be so much more.

» Dumplin’ (Dumplin’ #1) by Julie Murphy

Feelings in a few thoughts:

Wonderful YA book that tackles themes like friendship, mother-daughter relationships, body shaming, self-acceptance, first love, etc.

I feel like Murphy did a wonderful job creating a character whom those of us who have struggled with our weight and/or other body issues can all relate to.  I was really able to see my high school self in Willowdean.

I know many critics of this book cite that Willowdean (Dumplin’) wasn’t exactly a likable character and treated people badly, which is absolutely true.  HOWEVER she felt like a very real character.  I don’t know if you remember being a teenager, but I was an asshole at times.  You know, teen angst and all that.  Does this excuse her actions? No.  I could just understand the frustrations Willowdean was experiencing and why she had a chip on her shoulder.  By the end of the book, Willowdean does show a tremendous amount of growth & development.

There was a love triangle, however it did not feel like the love triangle trope.

I was not a fan of the audiobook narrator.  She did wonderfully for the female parts, but once we got to characters like Bo and Mitch, it was hard to listen to.  If you listened to the audiobook, I’m sure you know what I am talking about.

» The Name of the Wind (The Kingkiller Chronical #1) by Patrick Rothfuss

Feelings in a few thoughts

When I saw that the mass market paperback edition I received from the library was 722 pages, I may have freaked out a bit.  I am NOT a fan of tomes.  It did take me just over a week to read, which is probably normal for me since I typically read about 2 books a week.

The Name of the Wind is not at all what I was expecting.  For some reason, I was anticipating a high fantasy story, but in reality I would consider it more of an epic fantasy.  Sure, there are fantasy elements here, but the story felt very grounded in reality.

I really enjoyed the story, but is so hard to describe it.  The book had action, but would I consider it action packed? No.  It had “magic,” but was the book full of it?  No.  The book includes a hero in the making, but did it feel like a hero story? No.  Was this book compelling?  YES!  Why?  I don’t know!!!

I know this is odd to say, but I got Harry Potter vibes from this book.  This isn’t to say the plots were similar (there are a few similar elements), but rather I got the same feelings I remember having as a kid reading Harry Potter.

Kvothe is my new book boyfriend.  Definitely one of my new favorite characters.  He is clever, smart, stubborn, witty, mischievous, kind, determined, etc.

» Hunger: A Memior of (My) Body by Roxane Gay

*4.5 Stars*

Feelings in a few thoughts:

I love how real Roxane is.  I don’t always agree with her beliefs, but I never get that “my views are right and others’ are wrong” vibe from her.  I respect that she’s not afraid to talk about the hard things.  Her books always make me think.

Despite the fact that I was classified as morbidly obese at one point in my life (my BMI was 40, so I was on the borderline of this category), I gained new insights to the struggles of those who are placed in this category.  I never had to worry about things like fitting into an airplane seat, seat belt extenders, stepping up onto a stage, seats with armrests, etc.  Reading this book can really shed light on the challenges those who are morbidly obese must face every day.  Definitely a perspective that I wish more people would read.

Loved that Roxane narrated this audiobook herself.  It was very well done.

There are so many powerful moments in this book…

“This is a memoir of (my) body because, more often than not, stories of bodies like mine are ignored or dismissed or derided. People see bodies like mine and make their assumptions. They think they know the why of my body. They do not.”

“The bigger you are, the smaller your world becomes.”

“As a woman, as a fat woman, I am not supposed to take up space. And yet, as a feminist, I am encouraged to believe I can take up space. I live in a contradictory space where I should try to take up space but not too much of it, and not in the wrong way, where the wrong way is any way where my body is concerned.”

» Smoke in the Sun (Flame in the Mist #2) by Renée Ahdieh

*3.5 Stars*

Feelings in a few thoughts:

Many of the questions I had throughout the Flame in the Mist were finally answered in this book.  My biggest complaint with the first book was that I was confused about the fantasy elements, but things were cleared up in Smoke in the Sun.

I loved Mariko’s character in this series.  She is confident, intelligent, clever, brave, strong, etc.  A great lead character in a YA book.  I respected her for always sticking to her convictions and not letting anyone, even the boy she loves, sway her from her goals.

The villain in this book was not developed enough.  The best villains, in my opinion, have motivations behind their actions, but I didn’t see any reasoning behind any motivations here.

While I appreciate that this was the conclusion to this series and not a series that drags on unnecessarily like so many YA series out there, I wasn’t exactly satisfied when I finished it.  Unfortunately this book felt rushed & abruptly ended.   The book either needed to be longer, or this needed to be a trilogy.

I debated between the 3.5 star rating and a 4 star rating.  I really did enjoy this series, but I feel like it had the potential to be more.

» Bright We Burn (The Conqueror’s Saga #3) by Kiersten White

Feelings in a few thoughts:

Fantastic finish to a GREAT YA historical fiction series.  Actually, I feel like the books progressively got better with each installment.  Favorite book of the series!

Lada is a very complex main character.  If you are a fan of anti-hero stories, and would fancy one with a badass female anti-hero, here is the series for you!  While Lada does have some good qualities – loyalty, strength, drive, etc – she does whatever is necessary to obtain her goals, regardless of the cost.  Despite her bloodthirsty ways, I couldn’t help but like and admire Lada.

Radu!  I loved him more with each passing book.  His progression over the series was very satisfying to watch.  Whereas the other main characters, Lada & Mehmed, stayed constant throughout the series (Lada is vicious and Mehmed is an asshat) Radu goes through a tremendous amount of personal growth.

  June 2018 Bookish Wrap-Up + Book Haul

Ohioana Book Festival 2018 + Book Haul

Book Review: The Daughters of Palatine Hill by Phyllis T. Smith

Book Event: Sabaa Tahir’s Book Tour for A Reaper at the Gates

Book Review: Eligible by Curtis Sittenfeld

Favorite Books of 2018 (1st Half)

Physical Books:

» The Name of the Wind (The Kingkiller Chronicles #1) by Patrick Rothfuss

*Signed by the author*

» Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

*I have two other copies of this book, but I picked up a lovely edition at my local Costco.  It is a pink leather cover with quotes from the book all over the front.  It is gorgeous!  I wish they had one for Jane Eyre 😦

Which books did you read in July?

Have you read any of the books I read or hauled this month?  If so, what did you think?

Did you buy any books?  If so, which ones?

Comment below & let me know 🙂

Today I share which #books I read in July + my #bookhaul. What did you #read in July? #BookBlogger #Bookworm #AmReading Goodbye July & hello August! It is so crazy to think that summer is almost over.  My kids will be returning to school in T-minus 2 weeks! 

[juliayepes]

Blood of a Poet

Through fleeting glimpses and a studio visit, a portrait of a singular songwriter and musician emerges.

On the song "Supreme Being," Will Roan, singer and keyboardist of the Brooklyn band Amazing Baby, experiences a transcendental moment. It's an everything's-okay, no-one-ever-really-dies moment, in which everyone and everything in creation is revealed as mysteriously connected. Steeped in mysticism, tracks like "Supreme Being" (a trance song composed on the xylophone and a highlight of the group's self-released 2008 EP, Infinite Fucking Cross) convey a sense of wonder and a longing to return to paradise. Lyrics about "digging up the pearls from years gone by," returning to "salt of the earth," and a "big, black phantom love [that] floats over it all" contribute to the impression of a universe governed by some kind of cyclical, eternal return.

The group’s first tracks sound as joyful and cohesive as Led Zeppelin songs, only half the length, and recent songs are awash in a sweeping but pleasingly off-kilter grandeur. Their potency boils down to an inspired pairing of Roan, a literate preacher’s son, and Simon O'Connor, a virtuoso hard rock guitarist. The bands they had been in before Amazing Baby were good, but very true to a genre. But the project the pair formed together was a hybrid of influences (mutual favorites that included T. Rex and Queen), resulting in soaring melodies and full-bodied, boundary-pushing art-rock. In August 2008, a writer for the popular British music magazine NME raved about their first batch of songs, “Truly great rock bands don’t usually just fall out of the sky — they evolve slowly, meticulously and sometimes downright painfully over time. But don’t expect Amazing Baby to be paying any such dues... These Brookynites have been together since Christmas..., but somehow, they already sound like they could take on the world.” With the release of their first album Rewild due in the first half of 2009, Amazing Baby seemed on the precipice of a breakthrough after a near overnight success story.  

When I arrive at Electric Lady studios at 4pm on the first Sunday last February, the band is putting the finishing touches on their debut album. It's the second-to-last day of recording and a 15-piece orchestra is coming in today to record their parts individually. Bassist Don De Vore—pale blond, handsome, silent—sits in the recording booth nearly the whole afternoon, overseeing the recording of the string and brass parts. Matt Abeysekera, the drummer, pops into the booth and excitedly chats about the soundtrack to Polanski's horror movie The Fearless Vampire Killers. Shy, stringy-haired rhythm guitarist Rob Laasko hangs in the green room for a while, in between long spells in the recording booth. He seems like the mellowest member, but like De Vore, he has the air of a longtime studio musician, who is used to being ignored. Roan and his girlfriend arrive last, after a late night of DJing at a Greenpoint warehouse.

Confused, insulted, and dazzled by Will

With his self-assured manner and clean-cut features, Roan could easily pass for a cultured character in a Wes Anderson movie. Today, after weeks of nonstop recording for the band's debut album, the idiosyncratic singer-keyboardist seems to be running off of a streak of final-stretch adrenaline. In the green room, he drinks Sparks, a caffeinated alcoholic beverage, which keeps him on an even keel between seeming wiped out and alert, relaxed and lucid. He possesses a precise eye. During our interview, he’s polite but brisk, not finicky but quick to correct me when I’m wrong. When I ask him what the song "Headdress" is about, he tells me it’s about "holding onto somebody really tightly" and then tries to explain the title in visual terms. "It's supposed to evoke—I wish I could illustrate this better in words—a distraction, a trick of the eye, a false part of your body. A decoration."

While the teenage O’Connor was into hip-hop, graffiti, and punk music as a teenager, Roan immersed himself in art rock like David Bowie, John Cale, and T. Rex. He was born in Waterbury, Connecticut and his family moved four times before settling in Martha's Vineyard. Roan, who is also interested in design and visual art (he co-designed Rewild's cover art with a friend), majored in creative writing at Bard. After graduation, he moved to Brookyn, where he formed Lions & Tigers, a glam-rock/post-punk outfit that recorded arty, avant-garde songs, filled with images of oceans, fire, and blood. On the tracks, his characters are alienated and often remorseless, dwarfed by a surreal and desolate New York City. They're in precarious and desperate situations. But the songs have the surreal enchantment of a Cocteau movie. Singing about watching the green light die, his girl’s grey eyes, and how she’s “never gonna wake up,” Roan evokes an arresting vision of youth in limbo and casual peril.

He's a gracious host, happy to show me around, introduce me to his friends, and to answer questions. But as polite and friendly as he is, Roan remains inaccessible, even mysterious. Alone, he answers every question I ask. But if other bandmates are around, he lets them handle questions. He seems relieved when he’s surrounded by his friends, as if it’s only when he’s in their company that he can really be himself.

Most people can't be creative on command, but so far that hasn't been a problem for the scattershot singer or his songwriting partner. One reason the band has been so prolific is that they can be productive, and even thrive, in the midst of chaos. (One episode of the Village Voice’s Indie Cribz features a neatly dressed Roan giving viewers a tour of his horrifyingly messy apartment. In the video, he glances around his forsaken-looking bedroom. “I don’t spend a lot of time here,” he says mildly. “This is more like a storage space.”) If anything, he seems more comfortable in a hectic environment. As I interview Roan at Electric Lady studios, string players practice warm-up scales in the room next door. It nearly drives me out of my mind, but it doesn’t seem to distract Roan at all.

While O'Connor rallies me with his raucous energy, Roan is matter-of-fact, precise, guarded. He doesn't like to talk about his band, but he calls MGMT drummer Will Berman who helped write and produce Amazing Baby's first songs "one of the most talented people I've ever met" and predicts he'll put out "a brilliant solo album one day." He encourages me to check out his girlfriend's band (the spooky, shambolic Golden Triangle). And his face lights up with a quirky, genuine smile when he tells me that bassist Don De Vore was in Ink & Dagger "a really incredible, influential vampire-themed band from Philadelphia in the ‘90s." ("Don could do so much better," one diehard Ink & Dagger fan complained on Amazing Baby's Last.fm page.) I learn more about Roan when I'm not asking questions.

For one thing, he’s a good friend. A month earlier, when I run into him at Glasslands, a Brooklyn bar and performance space, I mention that I was surprised by the dizzying heights that MGMT-mania had reached. “Good for them, though,” Roan says pointedly. “Great for them,” I answer. Once he sees that I genuinely mean it, he lets down his guard. I’d seen Amazing Baby at the Mercury Lounge in November 2008 and had asked Roan if he could make me a CD of Lions & Tigers tracks, but he hadn’t had his phone on him. “I wanted to make you a CD, but I didn’t have your phone number,” he explains. He tells me Amazing Baby is recording the next week and that his old band, Lions & Tigers, is mixing an album. “Can I invite you to the studio? Can I invite you to a mixing session? How about if I e-mail you tomorrow?” he says, as he punches my contact info into his iPhone. I tell him that I thought the Lions & Tigers songs I'd heard were great. I love the post-punk sound, I say, and I love post-punk in general; Wire is my favorite band. He brightens. “I love Wire!" And then, in regard to Lions & Tigers, he laughs. "I thought we were good, but no one liked us!” he says.

The first time I saw Roan, he was wearing a shirt that declared “THIS SHIRT SAVES LIVES.” It was November 2008 and I was at the Mercury Lounge for my first Amazing Baby show. Onstage, an impish Roan pranced around the stage with the pomp and exuberance of Jarvis Cocker. After the show, I introduced myself and asked if he could make me a CD of his former band, Lions & Tigers. He cycled rapidly through an array of thoughts like only an overeducated man can. "Sure, I'd be happy to," he answered with a typically cheerful smile, but then he grilled me: “What do you want it for? You just want it? What’s the angle?” He asked me what I thought of the show, knowing it was imperfect. And before I left, he inquired whether this was my first time seeing Amazing Baby live. I told him it was. “You should have come last night!” he admonished me.

Needless to say, I left confused. I was taken aback, even offended, that he was dismissive of his older songs, which I adored. At the same time, I realized that if he didn’t want me to hear his old tracks, then that must mean his new songs sounded a lot different than Lions & Tigers—and that he thought they were really good. Later I realized that he wasn’t being combative because he was a control freak. He simply didn’t want Amazing Baby to be judged by his old band’s tracks. "That was more like a project than a band," he told me, gesticulating. "I was proud of it at the time, but I don't want that to represent me. I don’t want to make that kind of music anymore. That’s why—“ he smiled—“I’m not making it."

His fear of pretension, stutter, and religious connection

Roan cuts an imposing figure. I think twice before crossing a crowded room to talk to the singer—and even after being acquainted with him for months, I find it hard to know how to interpret his sunny, aristocratic charm. It's disconcerting to try to reconcile Roan's bold aura with what he actually says. He is rigorously style-oriented with keen, intelligent eyes that appraise everything. He cannot help but move with a flourish. But in conversation he never says anything remotely audacious or flamboyant. His speech is peppered with prefixes (They're "mega busy," Electric Lady is "super cool") and friendly surfer-stoner affirmations ("totally," "definitely," "rad").

But despite the swashbuckling aura, Roan also has a vulnerable quality. For one thing, his expressive face broadcasts his emotions. And for another thing, he stutters. Though his stutter seems mild (it doesn't surface til the third time I talk to him), one can imagine it’s a source of anxiety for the frontman, especially when he's expected to participate in video and radio interviews, which may catch him when he's tired or ill at ease. (Both states seem to exacerbate the speech disorder.) In one video interview, there's a moment when Roan realizes he's not going be able to get through his sentence without stuttering unless he skips some prepositions, so he starts stringing key words together. It's a heart-rending moment. His bandmates are silent, but it's clear they're in solidarity with the singer.

I would normally think it inappropriate or even disgraceful to ask a stranger personal questions, but Roan is so restrained that I am even less inclined to pry. When I mention that I've noticed a lot of images of eternity in his lyrics, the tone of his voice shifts slightly and there's a flicker in his eye like I'm on to something. "Yeah," he agrees. "Or infinity," I venture. "Yeah," he repeats, in the same tone. "There’s a lot of stony-baloney in there, too," he remarks. Then he lowers his voice and adds evenly, "They’re very personal, but they’re not super specific." I wonder if he means he'd rather not get super specific. (I'd speculate that he wrote "Supreme Being" for his first (or true) love—because on that song he sings "I would die for you,” but in other songs, it's "pump your brakes and leave me alone.") When I ask if Berman will be writing songs with Andrew and Ben in MGMT, he politely answers the question. Suddenly he looks weary. He sighs and shakes his head as if to rouse himself out of a daze. “What else is up?" he asks quickly. Then he corrects himself, as if that way of putting it sounded rude. "Anything else I can tell you?”

In conversation, Roan seems so afraid of coming off as pretentious, that, if anything, he overcompensates for his dandyish hauteur. The boldest statement I ever see him make is in a video interview from their tour of Japan, which took place shortly after Rewild’s release. He says he's proud of the album (though he looks disappointed)—it's been a learning experience (he looks very unhappy)—but it's definitely the best thing he's ever been involved in.

(In fact, I think his newer lyrics also reflect this desire not to seem pretentious. Rewild's new songs don't have big words, and in avoiding them, his lyrics turn absurd and playful. Roan's word play comes off like an inside joke with himself. The title of the album, for example, seems to be a composite of a line on "Kankra": "Turn off your mind/Relax a while." (Get it? Re-wild.))

Once you learn that Roan’s father was a preacher, suddenly everything about Amazing Baby makes sense: the singer's giddy stage persona (shades of a raving evangelical preacher), the Garden of Eden allusion, and the infinite cross imagery. But it also lends pathos to his story. Roan told FAQ Magazine that the first time he got high he had an internal dialogue with himself about how there was no going back, adding that he "continually thinks ... about things I told myself I'd never do." The debut album by San Francisco band Girls is touching because of its sincerity; when former Children of God member Christopher Owens sings that he doesn't want to cry for his whole life, it sounds genuine. There's a similar wistfulness about Roan's longing to return to innocence. Roan has characterized himself as "super emotional" and "messed up." But he seems like a conscientious guy who wants to believe in a higher power and tries to be a good person.

That’s the thing: He has a conscience. More than six months after sitting in with them at Electric Lady, I see Roan at a show at Webster Hall (his friend Max McDonald’s band, Psychic, is playing) and I tell him I'm sorry my story hasn't been published; I'm still going to do a story about the band. "It's okay, it's cool," he says, but he's a person who values honor, and as long as you try to do the right thing, he will be as personable as possible. Suddenly, he’s smiling.

—Julia Yepes

editor: Maura Whang

February 21, 2010