#I knew this is what was coming but I hate it lll

[sgtcalhouns]

I’ve been chipping away at the next fresh start chapter for a while but it’s taking longer because these characters are infuriating me

[mypoisonedvine]

OMG OMG TWO OF MY FAVORITE WRITERS TOGETHER I CANT BREATHE!!! can i please req a dark eddie x shy innocent girlfriend reader who always keeps to herself and doesn’t talk to anyone (except eddie ofc) bc she has a stutter and has been bullied by jason but she doesn’t tell eddie because she’s afraid of what he’ll do but at lunch when she’s with him and his friends talking jason makes fun of her even making her cry and eddie just loses it! I LOVE YOU!!! srry for rambling😭😍🥰

WE'RE ALSO VERY EXCITED THAT WE'RE TOGETHER and we also can't breathe cause we keep laughing at stupid tiktoks lmaooo

just a heads up, I know you said dark eddie in the fic but it wasn't giving dark to me so I wrote it more traditional, I hope you don't mind. I was gonna have bex do this one but we realized it's a lot like their fic mighty protector so I decided to try my hand at it instead!

warnings: bullying, fluff, jason sucks

When you first transferred here, everyone just thought you were silent; that was what you wanted, actually, but it never lasted long enough. It was only a couple of weeks before you had to say something in front of them, and the longer you waited to speak, the more anxious you were to finally break the silence-- and anxiety was what made your stammer show up in the first place.

In those weeks of silence, Eddie had found a way to fall for you without getting to talk to you at all. Amazingly, even after you humiliated yourself in front of the entire English class and became the laughingstock of Hawkins High, he still asked you out; you rejected him the first time, actually, convinced it was a joke. Then, when you figured out it wasn't a joke, you rejected him again because you were too nervous to say yes.

Technically, you never said yes to that first date... he showed up at your house, with flowers and a blanket and a packed picnic basket, and you joined him on your own front lawn. And yes, he made you stammer-- and blush, and laugh. From that day on, you had a permanent seat at the Hellfire table at lunch, with Eddie's arm draped over your shoulders.

Of course, not every day could be perfection. There was still Jason.

"Hey, freaks," Jason greeted you all as he walked by, looking incredibly proud of that incredibly low-hanging fruit.

"Keep moving, shitstain," Dustin called back with a roll of his eyes.

"That's rich coming from you, freshman-- did you just get out of diapers or what?" Jason retorted.

For some reason, that really pissed you off, probably because you could remember being new here too. You knew you shouldn't say anything-- you hardly ever did, knowing what would happen if you opened your mouth-- but for once you wanted to speak up for something you cared about. Or, someone. You put all your concentration into the words on your tongue, clenching your fists and praying to any god that would listen to just. not. stutter.

"B-b-back off!" you blurted out. The whole table, and Jason's crew of jocks, went silent. Then, they started laughing.

Your face heated up and your eyes watered as you looked down. "Nice one, d-d-d-d-dork!" Jason imitated with a loud cackle. Dustin and Mike looked guilty, like it was somehow their fault; Eddie started to get up out of his seat at the table, but you squeezed his shoulder.

"D-don't," you whispered to Eddie. "He's j-j-just trying t-to get you in t-trouble. L...Lll--"

You were gonna say 'leave him alone', but 'L's were the hardest. You didn't stammer on this, specifically, but you got... stuck. And you hated it most of all, it made you feel like a complete lllllloser.

"Oh, look-- I bet she's whispering sweet nothings in his ear," Jason noticed you talking to your boyfriend, putting on a mocking impression with a high-pitched voice as he continued: "D-d-d-do me, Munson!"

A hand on his shoulder wasn't nearly enough to stop Eddie after that; he all but leapt out of his seat and pounced on Jason, taking him to the ground.

He got a few hits in, but it was only a few seconds before Jason's douche army was all over him; honestly, they would've probably really hurt him if there hadn't been teachers nearby to break it up.

The other thing about teachers being nearby, though, is that they saw Eddie technically 'start it.' Of course, they'd never give detention to a basketball star like Carver, and they were always looking for excuses to bust the stoner-slash-super-senior.

You tried to sweeten the deal, though, as repayment for him getting himself detention to defend your honor: you wrote him a note that you paid another delinquent to smuggle in to him.

Hey Ed,

I know I should say this to you in person, but I wanted it to be perfect, no stutters.

I love you.

~

Your heart was already racing as you waited for him to be released from detention; when you saw him burst through the front doors and come bounding towards you, you stood up from where you'd been sitting on the steps outside.

"My-- my poor b-boyfriend," you cooed as he wrapped you in a bear hug and kissed the top of your head.

"Didn't miss me too much while I was incarcerated, did you?" he smirked.

"D-d-desperately," you replied. "D-did you... get my note?"

He smiled. "Yeah."

You pouted a little, getting nervous. "D-do you have... anything to... say t-to it? I m-mean, what I said..."

"I won't respond to what you said until you say it," he insisted.

"Eddie!" you whined.

"C'mon, princess, loud and proud," he demanded.

"B-but I wanted it to be p-p-perfect!" you complained, your heart racing as you just knew you would mess it up if you tried to say it right to his face like this. Shutting your eyes, you took a deep breath; praying didn't work last time, so you just said it a thousand times in your head like you wanted it to come out: I love you Eddie, I love you Eddie, I love you-- "I llllllove you, Eddie."

You cringed as you heard your impediment come through, but then you softened when you felt Eddie's lips press to yours. Smiling into it, you wrapped your arms around his neck and embraced him. "Sounded perfect to me, princess," he whispered. "I love you, too."

[blitzwhore]

That ask you got made me realize that Blitzø and Stolas both show 4 of those 5 responses at various points, which I think is very interesting. I really never thought about it before but that's actually pretty impressive bc it never seems "out of character" for them. I think Blitzø leans more towards fight tho we see a lot of fawning from him too, and I think Stolas leans more towards fawn but I guess Blitzø really did make him feel braver bc he shows a lot of fight too.

Fight: Blitzø in FM ballroom + after Striker steals the phone from Stolas + both fighting with and saving Fizz in Oops // Stolas confronting Stella on his balcony + most of his interactions with Striker in WE + most of his scenes in Truth Seekers

Flight: Blitzø avoiding Stolas once things got complicated + not giving Fizz the love letter // Stolas in FM hallway + trying to escape Striker in the café

Fawn: Blitzø to the client in Murder Family + in FM bedroom + trying to talk to Loona in Seeing Stars about her people skills // Stolas when Blitzø comments on his Ozzie's outfit + to Stella in LLL + in a lot of his texts to Blitzø post-Ozzie's

Freeze: both freeze up in Ozzie's + potentially Stolas in the FM ballroom bc we don't see him move except to flinch until the very end but that might just be him forcing himself to stop running

Listing it out like that also made me realize that those two spend a good chunk of the series some degree of scared, nervous, or feeling unsafe. These poor guys 😭😭

Yeah, once you start to think about how present their trauma is in their lives, you can't help but notice that they're both extremely traumatised and broken people. It's really sad, and really well done, in my opinion.

I really like how complex they both are and how many different symptoms of trauma they show—both survival reactions like the ones listed here, and just their thoughts and fears and how they handle their relationships.

What's really interesting and compelling to me is how similar they are despite how different their lives have been. And how the more episodes come out, the more obvious this becomes.

Like, up until now, we knew that Stolas often fawned to keep the peace for fear of being a burden or making others uncomfortable, like he did in his text messages to Blitz, and in Ozzie's when he immediately agreed to leave when Blitz said so. And we knew that Blitz hated himself, that his biggest fear was dying alone, that he couldn't even bear to look at his own face in pictures.

And then, in The Full Moon, we get Blitz going into an extremely childish and heartbreaking fawn spiral with his "I can always do better", making himself smaller, smiling, wagging his tail. And we get Stolas covering every single picture (and item) in his house, and then taking the time to uncover Via so she's visible, but not himself. And we get Stolas terrified of dying alone.

And to me, this conveys really well how no one's trauma is worse than others', how no traumatised person is more or less broken or hurt than the rest, how there's no "lesser" trauma. How traumatised people can't be neatly divided into "people who become sensitive and weak" and "people who develop thick skin". How your trauma may present differently and uniquely depending on the circumstances, but deep down the truth is always that you were deeply hurt, and you can't bear to be hurt again, and your life has become a constant cycle of trying (and failing, due to self-fulfilled prophecies) to avoid going through that pain again.

Truly, masterfully done ❤️

[annaphoenix1994]

Ch.65 - No Russian - Part 2

Previous Chapter - Masterlist - Next Chapter

Simon and Kiera say their goodbyes; Makarov's men hijack Kiera's flight to Wyoming, opening up a new battle.

Kiera was hysterical, nearly on her knees when Simon informed her about a sudden deployment with no solid answer as to when he would be back. His face held a frown as he felt incredibly selfish for putting her through his own worries, his heart breaking at the sound of her cries, her face against his chest unable to muffle the sounds of her wails, Kiera oblivious to the excess moisture pooling in Simon's eyes.

He was afraid. 

Knowing of his past that included Makarov, he knew it wasn't going to be a short or easy deployment. He was hesitant to promise her that he would return - not wanting to make a promise that he couldn't keep just to propose false hope. She didn't deserve that. 

Her hands roamed his arms. Up to his neck then back to his hands, touching him as if she'd never see him again. 

To which, if she were to be honest with herself, she didn't know for sure if he'd come back or not. 

Every deployment was a gamble - she knew this personally. 

"Where're they sending you?" She sniffled, clutching the fabric of his shirt tighter. 

He knew it was classified information, but chose to ignore it. "They're sending us to an undisclosed location in Russia."

"Russia?!" 

Simon nodded, pressing his cheek against her temple. "Yes. Laswell met us at the bar last night and told us." 

"Laswell?" Kiera scoffed.

"Yeah."

"What are they have you doing?" 

"Nobody really knows, love," He sighed. "Price said we could be gone for up to four months."

"Four months," She repeated against his chest. He fucking hated it. Hated how he wouldn't be able to be there for her, knowing she would have trouble during her pregnancy as her body adapted to the change. "I don't know what to do aside from worrying while you're gone." 

"I will be too. You know I'll reach out when and if I can." 

She exhaled heavily, fighting her stubbornness and unwillingness to let him go alone. "I-I want to go with you-"

"Negative, love. I'm not letting you put yourself in a situation like this. This isn't the missile crisis in Mexico, this is Makarov we're dealing with and possibly World War lll. Nuclear warfare. There's no way I'm letting you near that. Not in your condition. Laswell will be flying home with you and Teeter until you land in Missouri for a layover, then Teeter will be with you until you're home and will be staying with you until I get back home-"

"Simon," She whimpered, tears rolling rapidly down her cheeks before she felt his hands grasp either side of her face, forcing her to look at him, her face curled into a sob. "This is Makarov we're talking about. Nothing good ever comes when he's involved. What if... What if you can't come back?" 

She refused to think about it - about if he didn't return to her. She just couldn't. However, she knew that when Simon - Ghost - returned to battle, he was a force to not be reckoned with. 

He wiped away her tears, his gaze locking with hers, "They're sending us as reinforcements. We were told we're doing recon. It's very likely we won't even have to fight at all, but I can't promise that we won't." 

She breathed a sigh of relief at his testimony, growing slightly more comfortable at his words of assurance that he was just doing recon. She knew he would be in good hands, but something made her uncomfortable knowing that she wouldn't be there to make sure. "I don't like this, Simon. I-I just-"

"Love, there's something I've been thinking about that I want to tell you," He sighed. "After this is over - after I come home, it's done. I'm going to finish out my last year of term and not go back." 

"I thought a term ended in December?" 

"For the States, yeah, but mine ends in June. After I get back, I'm not going back. I'm not leaving you. Not again." 

*

Task Force 141 stood in full gear at the airport, Simon tending to Kiera for one last time before she would have to go on her flight back to Wyoming, their hearts breaking that Simon wouldn't be the one to land with her. She couldn't stop touching him - his arm, hands, shoulders, all of him. It pained her to know he wasn't going with her, but she was relieved in knowing that he would be with his most trusted comrades - as well as her second family. She knew they took care of each other and proposed that no news is good news. 

"I'll fly out to meet you boys once we touch down in Wyoming." Laswell assured Simon, his balaclava clutched tightly between his fingers, dreading the moment he had to put it on. 

"Thank you for going with her-"

"It's no problem." Laswell flashed him an assuring smile. 

He nodded before she walked away, leaving he and Kiera to have another moment of time between them before they departed, Simon not once hesitating to pull her into his chest, clutching onto her and refraining from telling her that he was terrified - terrified of the thought of not returning, not seeing the twins being born, not being able to watch Soap pop the big question to Teeter, not being able to witness Kiera walking down the aisle to him - it broke his spirit. 

"Please come back to us." She whispered against his chest, the bulk of his tactical vest separating them further apart. Her fingers curled against the rough material, her fingertips tracing over his insignia patches. 

I won't make a promise I can't keep; Like a river flows to the ocean deep...

"I'll do my best, love," He sighed, knowing he could've at least promised her that he'd return, but he was a man of his word - and didn't want to promise her with a safe return if he truly didn't know if he would or not. "As much as I know I'm not supposed to, I'm taking my phone for when I have the opportunity." 

"You shouldn't if it's going to get you in trouble, Simon." 

"It'll only get me in trouble if I'm caught," He smirked. "I'll call you every chance I get, okay?" 

She didn't reply, only nodded against his chest, Simon feeling her grip on him tighten as the moments leading up to separating began inching closer and closer. 

"I love you." 

She whimpered, "I love you too." 

"Keep yourself out of trouble, yeah?" 

"You know I can't make any promises..." 

"I should've known better." He breathed a chuckle.

"Uhm, I-I hate to interrupt, but we're wheels-up in five." Gaz sighed; a frown plastered across his face at the sight of Kiera's bloodshot eyes. 

"On the way," He huffed, glancing over at Gaz from over his shoulder before his hands rested on either side of Kiera's face, his gloved hands wiping the tears from her cheeks. "I'll come back. I promise." 

Selfish. He felt so fucking selfish for putting her through this type of heartbreak just because he wanted her. He hated to see her cry, especially over him. Even though he vowed to not make a promise he couldn't keep, he knew he had a reason to fight even harder than what he did before - she and those precious beings she was carrying was worth every fight he was about to go through.

He knew it and she knew it.

And he'd go through hell or high water just to be able to come back to her - he and his entire team in all. 

Her lip quivered at his words, her heart breaking all over again knowing it was his goodbye. "I'll be waiting for you, Simon." 

"I sure hope so. Gives me a reason to keep going." He sighed, reaching up to put his balaclava over his head, Kiera stopping him just as the fabric got to the bridge of his nose.

"Wait-" She hesitated for a moment, knowing he was officially back on duty, but either of them didn't care. She stood on her toes, grasping the exposed areas of his cheeks to place a kiss to his lips, inhaling the scent of him for just a bit longer to sear it into her brain while her arms wrapped around his neck. "I love you so much, Simon." She breathed, pressing a kiss to his chin before placing a final kiss to his lips. 

"I love you too, sweetheart," He smirked, tucking the balaclava's excess into the collar of his uniform. "Can't wait to see that belly in a few weeks." 

His fingers grazed against her belly, hoping and praying that he'd be able to experience the first kick, finding out the gender, and to be there when they were born. 

"Me too," She frowned, placing her hand over his while his fingers lingered on her belly for a moment longer. "Go get 'em, tiger." 

He breathed a smirk behind his mask, his uniform dark to match the terrain of Russian territory they were about to deploy to. "I'll see you soon." 

With that - and a final glance at each other - she cried as she watched him walk away, Soap walking next to him as they were the last pair to load onto the plane, Laswell frowning as she approached Kiera to comfort her, letting Kiera lean her head on her shoulder as Teeter approached her from the other side, wrapping a comforting arm around Kiera's. "They'll watch over each other. They always do." She encouraged; her own eyes filled with tears. 

"That's the only thing that's made this easier," Kiera sighed. "Knowing that I can't go with him, I feel better knowing that they all watch out for each other." 

*

The flight was silent as Kiera gazed out the window of the plane, admiring at how small the towns below them were compared to the altitude they were flying once they left the coast - now staring at the black abyss that was assumed to be the ocean. With every other moment, she wondered where Simon was - wondering how he was feeling knowing he was going back into battle as well as the worry of not knowing how she'd be able to tend to herself with the changes her body was going through during her first trimester, hoping there would be no complications. 

Unbeknownst to her, Simon held a photo of her between his thumb and ring finger, finding the photo he remembered taking last Thanksgiving that sat tucked away in his vest pocket that he nearly forgot was there until he was loading magazines and putting his needed equipment and weapons along his vest. 

Soap did the same, although it was a photo that... wasn't for everyone to see except for Soap - a photo that reminded him of the quirky and wild woman that loved him unconditionally. She keeps me sane and I keep her wild, he mused. 

"Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached our cruising altitude. You are free to move around the cabin." The captain spoke through the PA system of the plane. 

"We're beginning our meal service. A list of selections can be found in your seat pocket." A female flight attendant spoke over the PA. 

"Are you hungry?" Laswell spoke to Kiera, sitting in the seat that was supposed to be Simon's. 

A reminder that he wasn't there - another reason for her heart to break all over again. 

She shook her head, "No. I'm fine." 

"You need to try to eat something. We've been flying for over three hours not counting the delay and emergency landing for fuel." Laswell sighed. She knew she was too distraught to eat anything, but she promised Simon that she'd look after her. 

"I'll eat when we land next." 

"Our next landing is in Florida. We're over the ocean right now." 

"I'll be fine, Kate." 

"Beef, chicken, or fish gentlemen?..." A male flight attendant asked the men sitting across from the row Kiera and Laswell were in. 

"Salad, please." A man answered, his accent thick. 

At first, Kiera didn't notice it of anything to be worried about.

But Laswell did. 

Immediately, she recognized the Russian accent, knowing there was several of men known to have worked or work with Makarov throughout Europe to gather intel. Her gaze found its way to watch them in her peripheral view. Dark clothes, heavy accent... something doesn't feel right. 

Her instinct turned out to lead to the right path, noticing that the attendant only asked the men if they wanted anything and not the others, handing the man his dish of salad before walking off towards the tail of the plane. 

Laswell nudged Kiera with her elbow, her gesture telling her to not respond, but to look to conclude her suspicious hypothesis. 

The women watched as two men began rummaging throughout their jackets, pulling small pieces from a variety of areas - 

They were piecing together a gun they had smuggled onto the plane. 

Seeing the firearm now concealed in the man's lap, Kiera began to get nervous as well as anxious. 

*

M: Ready?

Ready

M: No Russian

*

The men stood to their feet after what appeared to be their leader drown his phone in his glass of beer, Laswell looking at the screen before the battery shorted, confirming her suspicion. Immediately, she pulled her phone from her pocket to dial a number of her own, knowing to contact a person in particular she knew had connections in regards to the Russians and Iran - Iran being her first point of contact when it came to Makarov, knowing that Iran was a breeding ground for smuggling weapons and intel. 

Then, she made the dreaded phone call to Captain Price on his plane. 

"Laswell, that was quick-"

"John, I have a hit on men who work with Makarov," She whispered. 

Simon and Soap watched Price's face furrow with question, briefly hearing Laswell's voice on the other line. "That quick? Well, that's great. What've you got?" 

"We're in the middle of it, I'm afraid," She sighed. "John, some of his men are on our plane." 

Price's jaw dropped, "W-What?" 

"Either we're going to go down or they're going to turn this plane around and land somewhere near Iran. I-I don't know yet." 

"Kate, calm down," He assured her, picking up on her frantic tone. "Keep in touch, yeah?" 

"I'll do my best. I'm going to talk to Kiera and Teeter- Teeter, is that right? About what we should do. I know there's only three of them and two are armed. I know me and Teeter have this if we need to fight and have the pilot do an emergency landing." 

"Okay, just don't get Kiera involved." He said lowly, sensing Simon's gaze towards him. 

He knew something was wrong, but he presumed it was her getting sick or something to complicate her pregnancy due to sudden stress. 

Nothing could prepare him for what he was about to hear. 

"What is it?" Soap asked once Price hung up the phone. 

His hands were on his hips, gaze towards the floor of the plane as he truly didn't know how or what to say, "That was Laswell. Um," He sighed. 

"What did she say? Does she have a hit on Makarov?" 

He released a deep breath, "Their plane is being hijacked." 

[lesbiangummybearmafia]

The Crown spoilers... you have been warned. My thoughts.

I finally go the time to watch the final 6 episode of the final season of The Crown. I wasn't exactly thrilled they broke up the season but in end I think it worked better. To deal with Princess Diana's death kinda solo, than move on with everything else. Personally I'd been dreading it since I knew they were going to tackle it. I'm old enough that I was an adult when it happened, I remember just how devastating it was when it happened in real life. I remember clearly watching the procession with Prince William and Prince Harry walking behind their mother coffin on TV, just sobbing my eyes out. So I wasn't looking forward to reliving that in any

way on The Crown. However I think the series did a remarkable job with how they handled it, as they've handled all the other sensitive subjects. With grace, caring and compassion. Like crash itself, we hear it but they never show anything. Which I really was thankful for. Because at the time they had pictures of what the car looked like after the crash all over the news papers. Which no one ever needed to see! Also perhaps the series didn't want something so horribly to hit during the Christmas season when rest of season was dropped. In the end I do think it was a the correct decision.

I still find it funny how much better looking Prince Charles is the series who played by Dominic West. Not even on now King Charles the lll best day was he ever good looking. In my opinion...

I was so sad when we lost Princess Margaret, I just sobbed. I hated seeing Lesley Manville leave the series. I loved her and Helena Bonham Carter as Princess Margaret. They really made me like Princess Margaret quite abit.

I'm not sure how I feel about either of the actors that played Prince William and Prince Harry. I don't if it's just their portrayal of them or what but I just didn't find myself really connecting with them as the older version of them. I'm also surprised by who they choose to portray Kate Middleton. She good actress I guess (I don't know her), but the real woman is far more beautiful than the actress they chose. I know looks aren't the point here, but well yea.

Seeing Blake Ritson show up as Prince William's Eton housemaster Dr. Gailey was treat. I'm a huge fan of The Gilded Age also where he plays Oscar Van Rhijn. It was fun seeing a familiar face from another series I love.

I love episode where we get to see both Elizabeth and Margaret to out to Ritz to celebrate WWII being over. I was so much fun getting to them being normal girls for a moment, drinking, dancing, laughing, having fun. It was so wonderful. I do think in some respects the series did do a deserves to Queen Elizabeth as showing her almost one dimensional. I remember watching all kinds of stuff about her right after she passed away. One thing that kept coming up from people that actually knew her, work with, worked for and so on was what a great sense of humor the Queen had. The series show a tiny bit of that with speak at Prince Charles and Camilla wedding. But that was really the only time truthfully. I think that was really a missed opportunity to have shown another side to her.

Ok on to my favorite thing they did which was bringing both Olivia Coleman and Claire Foy back. Even though it was just for one episode I loved seeing them again, especially Olivia Coleman, she was my favorite version of Queen Elizabeth on the series. I literally squealed when I seen her. See I had no idea they were coming back so at first I thought I might be hallucinating. But nope it was her, then I started to cry. Then Claire Foy showed up as her version of Elizabeth, which was so cool. The ending was just done so perfectly with all the version of Queen Elizabeth there. When Imelda Staunton version walked through the door at the end into what could easily been clouds, it made think she walking straight to heaven.

Over all I think the whole series was done excellently well. It's definitely worth watching even if British royal family isn't that interesting to you. The series can be seen as fiction meets historically.

[floped]

high school crush woes

I wonder if you would care if I was gone. When I post I do it in hopes you'll see it. I dont know why I'm so hung up on you. You're just a pretty face, that's all you should be. A part of me thinks Id grow to hate you if we were together. Even then I want to pick you apart to see if there are any feelings behind the cold exterior you always front. I dont know why my feelings have grown, we don't talk anymore and even when we did it was mostly about you. You're selfish. You went on an on about yourself but would it have killed you to ask about me, the things I enjoy? I felt like you tried to impress me but maybe Im desperate and grasping at straws. At any indicator that showed you cared about me. You who clearly has no taste for fashion who cycles through the same 3 sweaters would stay up till dawn to comment on the dresses I would send you, even when you had to be up early for your dance lessons. You sent me pictures and videos of you showing off you 6-pack and while it was very impressive why would you send that to me If you weren't interested. Now that I think back, it been almost a year since then. I've grown so much but you keep a part of me stagnate. I think about you an unhealthy amount. If you knew you would probably be concerned. God I feel like a loser. Im a bad friend too. My friend liked you and you knew that, you rejected her but continued with your awkward middle school friendship until you ghosted her the next school year. I know this but I still like you and I know its wrong. At the same time since it was a while ago I feel like it should be okay. You never dated. I feel like she still has feelings for you or at least wants some type of closure. She has no idea I feel this way for you or that we talked for a bit. I'm scared that it might change our friendship and I cherish her. By the way you and her used to talk I bet you liked her. She's pretty, skinny, and smart-the holy trinity. Its not like I'm ugly but like any highschooler Im saddled with insecurity. I dress up on days we have class together and on days we dont in the hopes we randomly cross paths. I remember I came in the building and I saw you were walking to class. Even thought we have the same one we never get their at the same time. My heart fluttered as I rushed to get closer. I stayed behind you walking up three flights of stairs and holding my breath, I dont know if you knew If I was behind you but just being near you was enough. Its crazy I feel this way when I cant remember the last time I even spoke to you. I wish I could enter your brain just for a moment to figure out what you thought of me, a failed talking stage or something more. I was the one who ended up "Ghosting you" I dont even think it counts I just stopped initiating conversations and you just stopped. That really broke my heart but I guess I should have known better. I know I deserve better but theirs no one around me who is. I know Im young but Im sick of feeling unlovable. Since Its hard to come up to you and start a conversation Ill just sit by you and glance a couple times. Maybe more than a couple times but I dont think you even noticed. You always seem so wrapped up in your little world, which I find kind of endearing. Im always making a joke or talking and its ironic I would be this down bad for someone whose my exact opposite. If we're in the same room lll say any joke a little louder for you to hear, I looked over once and I saw a smile on your face followed by a chuckle. Blood rushed to my face but thankfully I had blush on. I secretly hope you stumble upon this even though you're definitely not on tumblr. This is my way of saying everything I cant to you. I love that you play piano, you played in front of me once and I thought it was beautiful. You said you would send me a video of you playing but you never did. I wonder if you think about that. I know you wont reciprocate my feelings, your probably not even aware of them, but I hope to find someone who looks at me the way I look at you, someone who thinks of me the way I think of you, and loves you the way I do

[httpstes]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆astro observations ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

Links to other Astrovations: Astro Observation ll, Astro Observation lll, Astro Observation IV, Astro Observation V, Astro Observation VI

୨୧ Taurus mixed with cancer in the big three is imo the most chillest yet elegant placement. These the types of people that can easily ground you and calm you down in high stress or extremely formal situations. They ease the formalities at events and what not. Not to say they don’t have class which they 100% do but it’s not in a overarching, strict punctual way yk? They’re classy and sophisticated but in a soft comfy way.

୨୧ Sag moons will forever (including all sag placements tbh 😭) be my number one favourite placement. Now i don’t have much fire in my chart or maybe it’s my pisces moon i literally do not know but I LOVE THESE BITCHES SO MUCHH. My sag moon family members and friends are like a teacher/friend and confidant all wrapped in one. They can be blunt depending on the rest of the chart but truly most of the ones I’ve met aren’t as "harshly blunt" as i’ve seen them portrayed. These people will explain things in detail about random topics they are interested in and they sound so fucking smart omh. I admire their optimistic and carefree attitude sm, they know how to give good advice and can unconsciously inspire others to do things they could never imagine doing.

୨୧ Libra rising and taurus rising go hand in hand honestly and it’s the two rising signs i see together a lot compared to other dual planetary ruled signs like virgo & gemini, aries & scorpio ect. I’ve just seen so much love (platonic and romantic) being shared between this duo. They have a natural understanding of eachother and despite having different approaches to things they both surely share a love for beauty, romance and everything nice in life. I also noticed these duos rarely fight, maybe it’s the venusian energy between them 🤷‍♀️

୨୧ Moon-Venus harsh aspects i’ve noticed either have commitment issues or attachment issues no in between 😭 A close friend of mine has this and he’s told me multiple times how hard it is to actually fall for someone as he doesn’t want to deal with the pain of the relationship and he also just finds it gross in general LMAOO

୨୧ Virgo placements, moon and venus in particular, are so thoughtful and caring. When they go out they buy you random things they think you need and check up on you to see how your doing and if you need help with anything, they remind you they are always there. This however I feel only applies to virgo placements close friends unless afflicted. As these people are picky and won’t give out their time and energy to everyone who comes by.

୨୧ Jesus christ i love capricorn moons but man how much emotional baggage are yall carrying ?!? Fr these mfs are so strong for not having given up yet. They at least have one thing that keeps them going to help them get up in the morning and prepare for a new day. They seem to hate failing and like getting credit when they believed they deserve it for the hard work they have put in. Capricorn placements get up after every fall, and despite how hard times can get they always find a way to push through. I admire you guys sm.

୨୧ Okay i’m practically complimenting myself with this one but ik it’s true 😭 If you are an earth rising or have water in the third house YOU HAVE NICE HANDS. Now i always knew my hands were somewhat nice, i mean i never rlly thought of them that much LMAO. But ever since i started highschool i be getting compliments left and right about them hand structure or what not. But yea water in third = nice hands.

୨୧ Leo risings win the lottery for being pretty and feeling good about the envious looks other people give them. These people are BLESSED with good looks and whether conventionally attractive or not, i’m telling you there is always something about Leo risings that make you turn twice to look back at them.

୨୧ Pisces placements, Moon-Neptune, Moon in 12th are prone to addiction. I know that’s been said a lot on here but from experience and looking at half my friend groups chart bc for some reason we all have pisces moons, it’s true. Now addiction is not always drugs and alcohol. I’ve noticed in some and of course depending on other placements can be addiction to daydreaming, (which again is another stereotypical pisces thing) perfectionism and over working. These things all distract us from our thoughts or mundane everyday life, whatever it may be, pisces placements are definitely prone to addiction of all forms.

୨୧ Venus in second house may be known for their beauty or be physically attractive. Something about these people is magnetising, from their movements to the way they speak, they are very captivating people.

୨୧ Venus in the 3rd, 10th, 8th is similar but with Venus in the 3rd, most of it has to do with their voice, the way they communicate and how their mind works. Venus in the 8th is also just as captivating but in a more mysterious dangerous way. Venus is comfortable in the second house but when it moves to the 8th it is exploring unknown waters. People with Venus in 10th house are known for their beauty. Whether they become famous for it or not, it may not be a prize winning talent but their physical appearance is definitely acknowledged by others.

୨୧ Aries moons are the most motivating people i’ve ever met. They encourage others with such passion and without even realising it. I look up to these people and they push me to work harder. Something else I like about this placement is that they tell things as it is. They don’t beat around the bush and when they tell the truth they tell you because they want the best for you. Ily guys

୨୧ I’ve heard a lot about venus-asc but sun/moon-venus are just wow. Sun-venus esp the conjunction present their beauty to the world, it’s glamorous and gold and everyone is infatuated with their energy. Moon-venus on the other hand has a more silent type of beauty. It’s definitely there you can see it but it’s not as loud as sun-venus. It’s once the moon-venus let’s you in that you will see the beauty that shines from within and suddenly they’re the most gorgeous to ever exist.

୨୧ Moon in tenth house regardless of what sign it’s in are hustlers. They have ambition and goals that they want to complete and while those goals may vary from long-term success or short-term goals that they have, they put in hard work equally for both.

୨୧ Gemini risings are some of the funniest people I’ve ever met. They can adapt to anyone’s personality and can easily connect with anyone. They make friends easily too.

୨୧ Capricorn and Aquarius in a chart can make someone come off as socially awkward or kind of standoffish but they can really get deeply enveloped with conversations and actually listen to what your saying. They take in the words and remember it. I’d literally kiss ass to be in the presence of these people, the way they carry themselves and the way they walk is so attractive 😭

This is my first actual astro observations post so yay >:)

[mrsour]

I woke up and chose pain, and you can suffer with me

Daycare attendants, as death with a dead S/O

Sundrop:

.☀️ no no no, you can’t die on him now, he needs you. You were the only person in the world that wasn’t disgusted by him. He would hold you so tight, wanting, no NEEDING this to be a dream. He doesn’t want to live without you

.☀️ he put a bandaid on you hoping it would make it better. He prayed to every god out there to bring you back to life, he couldn’t do this on his own, he needed you by his side

.☀️ “please.. please Sunshine…” threw pained and uncontrollable sobs. He wouldn’t know what to do

.☀️ would be in grief every moment, every night they would spend crying (if he can cry, ink tears?) while holding a photo of you, crying until there were no tears left

.☀️ if it was someone that killed you. He would stop at nothing to send them to hell. No one dares hurt his precious Sunflower and gets away with it, they took the only thing that mattered to them so he’s going to take away his life

.☀️ “silly human, you think you can take away my sweet Sunbeam and not pay the prices?! Silly silly, SILLY. I thought your mother would have taught you some manners” as much as he HATES it, he didn’t kill them painfully. He knew you wouldn’t have wanted him to kill them at all but he just couldn’t allow that human to get away with this

.☀️ he always has dreams about you magically coming back to life and telling him everything’s okay and that you’ll never leave him again. But when he wakes up, it’s just a dream

Moondrop:

.🌙 would think that your just playing some prank on him, “cmon Starshine, get up your not fooling me” when he didn’t get a response he tries “Starlight, this isn’t funny anymore” and he was given no response once again

.🌙he started shaking not knowing what to do, he ran to your side in an instant checking your vital signs, you had no heartbeat and your air was cut short

.🌙he picked up your limp body and held it tightly sobbing into your shoulder. You were the only one who wasn’t afraid of him. Why was this taken away from him, why so soon

.🌙 “w-why..” if only he could have protected you better

.🌙he cry’s every night with sunny, he failed you, he can’t forgot how badly he failed the only one he cared for (besides his brothers) he misses you, so much, why did you have to leave him, why

.🌙if someone had killed you, he would stop at nothing till they are dead, he’s not as generous as Sunny so he would do more then just kill them. “Naughty boy/girl, naughty, naughty, NAUGHTY. You must be punished”

.🌙much like sunny, he also has dreams of you, they never end, he misses you too much. He really does, he cherishes every memory no matter the pain it causes his metallic heart

Eclipse:

.🌗 first of all, you have to figure out a way to get away from him for more then two minutes. Like this man has his hands on you (not sexually) at all times, he is attached to your side everywhere you go, he’s practically your guard dog

.🌗 however if you did manage to get him off your legs for more then enough time to get killed then bravo

.🌗he is horrified when he finds your pale body limp on the ground, he’s at your side so fast, ink like tears falling from his eyes, how could he let you out of his view for long enough for this to happen, the one thing he was afraid of, happened and he couldn’t stop it

.🌗goes into a rage, breaks everything around him

.🌗your gonna wanna hope that nobody killed you, cause once he finds them. He’s going to turn they’re life into a living hell, he’d be dammed if he let some (retracted) kill his love

.🌗 “y-y-you, foolish-foolish, morta-lll, you made-e-e a GRA-VE mistake!” He voice glitching with rage, he knew you wouldn’t want him to do this, but it was the only thing that would keep him sain

*—*

I hope y’all liked this

Stay safe you amazing Snowflakes

[until-theend-oftheline]

Isa 1 - Daddy 0

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Reader 

Warnings: Quarantine adventures, Silly Stan family, Insta live. 

Squares Filled: Early Morning for @marvelfluffbingo​ 

Word Count: 834

A/N: This is part of my LLL universe - it takes place May 2020. Their kids Isabella, Alexander and Cecilia are 6 and 2 (3 in a few months) and 2 weeks old.   

It can also be read as a one shot just as always. It is inspired by this video but please read the fic before you watch to not get any spoilers. 

Betaed by: none all mistakes are mine

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Sebastian sat by the kitchen table. His brown hair was sticking out everywhere just like it almost always was these days, and his beard was getting a little to the longer side. You had to admit you found it kinda cute, even when Isabella, your oldest daughter, teased him and said he looked like a woodland troll. It was all done in love and she just wanted her dad to chase her around the living room anyway, since it always ended in a cuddling session after he caught her and tickled her until she yielded. Isabella was and always had been a daddy’s girl and you loved seeing them together. Even in playful competition like right now. 

“Are we live?” Sebastian asked, causing you to nod and fight a smile when he frowned, staring straight into the camera. Sebastian was great at a lot of things, social media and technology wasn’t one of them. 

“You sure honey? Cause…” he started, making you giggle behind the camera and shake your head at him. 

“Seba. Sweetheart. Love of my life. It’s not instagram that’s anything wrong with. I know how to livestream. It always fails for you because you are luddite,” you teased and winked, making Sebastian glare at you and fight a smile. 

“You’re lucky, your cute ass is all the way over there,” he fake grumbled at you, as Alex tugged his sleeve to make him move his arm, allowing the little boy to crawl into his father’s lap. He had been watching his little sister asleep in the portable crib by the table, but lost interest in favor of his father and older sister’s shenanigans. 

“Daddy come ooooon,” Isa whined. “How do I win the 10 dollars?” 

You smiled as you watched your oldest daughter pout at her father, fully recognizing the technique from yourself and knowing no matter which one of his girls it came from it worked wonders on him. 

“Okay. Right,” Sebastian’s attention turned to the table and the little girl in front of him. He pressed a quick kiss to the side of his son’s head as he reached past him. 

“You have to keep really still okay, maimuţă?” Sebastian told the little boy, who was sucking on his thumb looking at his sister. He sent her a big smile before looking up at his father with the same beaming smile. 

“Kay Daddy.”

Sebastian smiled back at him, ruffling his hair. “Good boy.”

“Okay Isa,” Sebastian grinned as his eyes met his daughters. “I’m gonna put the 10 dollers here.” Sebastian placed the bill on the table, before grabbing an empty soda bottle off the side of the table placing it on the middle of it. 

“Are you listening?” Sebastian teased Isabella, causing the little girl to playfully roll her eyes at him and send her dad a huge grin. 

“Yes Daddy. You don’t have to be so slow.”

“Cheeky,” Sebastian pulled a face at her, making Isabella laugh before leaning on the table, resting her elbows against it and her head on her hands as she looked from the bottle to her dad. 

“Now what?”

“If you can get the bill without touching or knocking over the bottle you’ll get money. If you can’t I’ll keep it,” Sebastian challenged her with a smile. 

Isabella instantly stood up straight, crossing her arms across her chest, looking like a very small, very stubborn teenage girl and you felt a pinch of dread for days ahead as you stayed quiet behind your camera phone. 

“I don’t wanna do that. You’re cheating,” she sulked and Sebastian’s eyes opened wide. You knew he never would try and cheat any of his kids, and he hated that she even suggested that he would. 

“What? No. I wouldn’t do that,” Sebastian insisted, but Isabella just continued to pout. Sebastian stared back at her, surprise and hurt evident on his face. He had not expected this reaction in the slightest. “How would I even be cheating?”

“You glued the bottle to the bill,” Isabella insisted, as she uncrossed her arms shifting slightly towards the table, making you smile behind the phone as you started to catch on. Sebastian however was still completely in the dark, not seeing through her little game, as he still hadn’t gotten over his hurt feelings, that his little girl would accuse him of trying to cheat her. 

“No I didn’t. See,” Sebastian played right into Isabella’s sqeams and lifted the bottle from the bill. The little girl moved quickly, snatching the bill from the table, before playfully sticking her tongue out at her dad and fleeing the room as fast as she could. Alex jumped off his father’s lap, cheering and chasing his older sister, leaving a very confused looking Sebastian sitting alone in front of the camera, looking at the empty table. 

You could no longer hold back your laughter as you turned around the phone to look into the camera with a grin before ending the live stream. 

“Isa 1 - Daddy 0,” you announced, laughing as Sebastian groaned in the background. 

Reblogs spread my work and make me happy. Got a favorite part/line? Did something touch you? Do you relate in some way? Please tell me and make my day.  

Sebastian Stan Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr​ @sleepretreat​ @roxyspearing​ @jewels2876​  @hellaqueerangelofthelord​ @danijimenezv​ @rumoured-whispers​ @becs-bunker​ @smoothdogsgirl​ @blacktithe7​ @grace-for-sale​ @averyrogers83​ @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​ @sorenmarie87​ @docharleythegeekqueen​ @erosbellarke​ @the-wayward-robot​ @super100012​ @myfanficlibrarium​ @winchesters-favorite-girl​ @awkwardfangirl2014​ @igotkatiepowers​ @dottirose​ @deathofmissjackson​ @miraclesoflove​ @badassbaker​

[sparrowofsong]

Of Carrots and Cats

Whumptober No. 16 and Alt. 9

A Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day - Hallucinations

Memory Loss

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Characters: Janus Sanders (Sympathetic)

Summary:  After being forgotten and locked away in his empty room for longer than he can remember, Janus has begun to lose his grip on reality. He's also quite hungry.

...You could say he doesn't carrot-all what he gets to eat as long as it's food.

Word Count: 1.3k

Warnings: Blood, starvation, self harm, implied abuse, triggered arachnophobia

Note: This takes place in my What a Nightmare! AU. (@what-a-nightmare-ts-au) However, it makes no real reference to the main plot to avoid spoilers (since I still have yet to. y’know. tell it.), so it could also be a standalone fic. 

--

Something orange flashed across Janus's vision. Taken off guard, Janus furrowed his brow in confusion. 

Orange? Since when was anything orange in his room? 

He turned his head in the direction the thing went, and his eyes widened at the sight before him. 

A carrot.

His chest swelled with elation -- or maybe that was hunger. Either way, he couldn't care less what Thomas, and him by extension, thought of carrots. It was food. And it was right there. 

As he reached toward it, it started to run off, much to his dismay. "Nnh, nh, no, no, no, stop, come back! Please!" It halted and turned to him at the entrance of its hidey-hole in the wall. (What Janus wouldn't give to be that carrot. The lucky bastard could have a hiding place but not him? Unfair.) 

He shook his head and focused on the sheer delight that it was listening to him, then began whispering gently. "Please come back. You're okay. Come on." The carrot didn't move. Wasn't there a sound people made for animals to come to them? He forgot which animals exactly, but there was something, he knew that much.

He absentmindedly clicked his tongue in thought, and realized that it sounded familiar in this context. He clicked his tongue a few more times. The carrot took a few more steps closer. Grinning from ear to ear, he stifled a gleeful giggle. "There you go, bud. That's it. Just a lll... lihh...." 

He paused. What was the word again? It felt like it should be easy to remember. Why was he having so much trouble remembering things lately? He was losing track of relative time more and more often. He was forgetting words, simple and complicated ones alike. He was always forgetting his train of thought (not that it was ever important, of course). A while ago, he-- no, it was more recent than "a while," wasn't it? How recent? Was it today, yesterday, a few days ago? How long even was a day these days? Huh. Day was a weird word. It was pronounced like there were two vowel sounds, even though it was treated like it had one. Deh-ee. Dee. Deceit. God, how he hated that word; just the thought of it made him shudder. If only he could forget--

Oh, right, forgetting things. He was thinking about that for some reason. When was he doing that? It must have been a few hours ago. Or a few minutes? Which one was longer, again? He hadn't thought about it in a few years-- weeks-- months-- decades? He couldn't tell you. He didn't exactly have a calendar available to him. But it didn't really matter anyway, did it? After all, time was meaningless in the face of eternity.

As he lay his head down in exhaustion, he spotted something orange out of the corner of his eye.

Orange? Since when was anything orange in his room?

He strained his neck to get a better look without exerting himself too much, and was elated by the sight before him.

A carrot!

Food!!

His eyes widened in excitement. Who cared how gross carrots were? At this point, he'd take anything he could get.

He forced himself vaguely upright once more, preparing to drag himself toward it, and he could almost feel his heart split in two when it ran inside its hidey-hole in the wall. (What Janus wouldn't give to be that carrot. The lucky bastard could have a hiding place but not him? Unfair.)

Knowing all too well he'd never be allowed to reach the wall, he decided to try and coax the carrot out to him instead. Maybe it was like a cat! They had the same letters, after all. Right? Probably. They sounded similar at the very least. He realized he couldn't remember the last time he saw the two written down. Or anything written down, really. When was the last time he read a book? When was--

He noticed a bit of orange peek out of a hole in the wall. Right, the cat! Wait, that was too small for a cat. Unless it was a kitten. Ooh, that sounded closer to the word he was using before, though he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was. There must have been two syllables for sure. What was orange with two syllables and a "cuh" sound at the beginning?

Coral.

Construction.

Traffic cone.

Kayak.

Cantaloupe.

Cantaloupe sounded delicious right about now. Anything did, if he was being honest (like he was supposed to be). Even carrots would be--

Carrot!

Relieved to see that it was still there, he clicked his tongue a few times to coax it out of its hidey-hole. (What Janus wouldn't give to be that carrot. The lucky bastard could have a hiding place but not him? Unfair.) 

"Tut, tut, tut, tut, come on out little guy! You're okay!" he whispered. The carrot took a few tentative steps toward him, and Janus was nearly overwhelmed by sheer delight. It was listening to him! Janus couldn't remember the last time something listened to him. "There you go, bud. That's it. Just a little bit cl... c.... more.. here? Nearer!" He mentally congratulated himself for remembering the exact word so quickly. "Come on. You can do it. Tut, tut, tut, tut, tut..."

As agonising a wait as it was, Janus made sure the carrot was a mere few inches away from him before he pounced. To his amazement, it only took one try to snatch it up! Tears of joy began to well in his eyes as he laughed triumphantly.

He did something right!

He succeeded!!

Janus held it closely to his chest for a few moments, savoring this rare victory, before carefully opening his hands a teeny tiny bit to peer inside. His heart dropped when he saw that the carrot was gone. In its place was something black that was rather unpleasantly squirming around. He opened his hands more to get a better look, and noticed first that it was not, in fact, one thing. It was many things. He noticed second exactly what things they were, and had only a moment to register the information before they began escaping his grasp. 

He screamed in horror as countless spiders crawled up his arms, down his neck and back, in his hair, through his wounds and into his veins, through his mouth and into his lungs and stomach, through his ears and into his brain. They were biting him, poisoning him, choking him, eating him alive from the inside out and the outside in. They were everywhere. 

The welled up tears of joy now fell as tears of anguish. He clawed at his skin to tear them out, but every spider he removed revealed two more in its place, and they seemed more than happy to infest the newly-created wounds as well. He yanked his hair to pull them out of his head, but only succeeded in transferring more from his hands. He hit his head against the floor to knock them back out of his ears, but they only latched more tightly onto his brain. He began hacking violently to clear them from his lungs, but every inhale between coughs drew more in. 

There was nothing he could do. He was helpless. As usual. 

Couldn't he just have one success? He knew he didn't deserve it, of course, but still, not even one?

It didn't take long for him to lose the little energy he'd spent so long trying to stockpile. Trembling with fear and exhaustion, his breaths unsteady and faltering, he managed to curl into a ball, clutching his head with now golden, bloody hands as though he could somehow protect himself. 

What wishful thinking.

...Hopefully it didn’t count as a lie.

[brelione]

Field Trip With A Rich Bitch lll

Part One  Part Two

Warnings:Swearing,Ward Cameron,very boring/dumb.

“We both hate Ward and he doesn't want me around pogues.What if we fake date?I can get you into my house and into his office and we can mess him up,ruin him from the inside out.”He spoke in a voice right above a whisper.You blinked,your eyes hurting. “You want to fake date?”You asked.He nodded. “Think about it,you can come around and we’ll pretend like you've never heard of him and you don't know what he did.We can eventually get him to confess and get a recording of it and then get him put in prison.”He ran his fingers through your hair,not really thinking about it.You gulped,eyes still locked on him. “He’ll know who I am when he hears my name.”You sighed.He smirked. “Right,but we dont let him know that you know.It’ll all work out.”He mumbled,rubbing the material of your shirt between his fingers. “That’s a terrible idea.”You laughed.He frowned. “I think it's a great idea.”He mumbled,a bit offended.

 “Well,you’ve never been the smartest.”You smiled,twirling a chain between your pointer finger and thumb. “But I don't have a better idea.You’re the easiest way in the house,I guess.You really think we can get him to confess?”You asked.A smile tugged at his lips. “I've heard you’re the queen of manipulation,why don't you prove it?”He challenged you.You let go of him,looking to the gravestones.Four of your dead families members six feet under the ground,probably listening to this conversation.You hoped they were listening to your conversation at least,it didn't matter if they approved what you were doing or not.It just made you feel better to think that maybe they were all vibing in the afterlife.You lifted your knees up to prevent yourself from sinking all the way into the mud.He had given you his phone so you could create a new contact,typing your phone number in.He followed you back to the garage.

He was a lot more calm on the way back,knowing where all the branches and large roots were on the path.He had swatted away a butterfly which caused you to turn and laugh at him. “Dude,chill,it's just a butterfly.”You giggled.He frowned. “Okay well you didn't have it flying at your face.”He argued.You grinned,biting your lip slightly. “Fuckin pussy.”You mumbled,turning your feet so you could slide down the dirt hill.He had a more difficult time,nearly falling on his ass as he held on to tree branches to help himself out.He jumped,grabbing onto your arm when he saw a small snake. “DOnt act like you’ve never seen a garden snake before.”You grinned,watching the small reptilian creature as it twirled its body around a twig.He shook his head. “You’ve never seen a garden snake?Damn,rich bitch,you really are a pussy.”You laughed,dragging him along.You used a key to unlock the garage door,pulling the door back up and ducking under the door.You went to your table,grabbing a piece of gum and folding it into your mouth.He stood by his bike,watching you while you fixed the hole in the seat. “It's done.Pay up,rich bitch.”You sighed quietly,rubbing the leather seat with your thumb.

He pulled out his thick brown wallet,handing over two hundred dollar bills.You took them,looking into his blue eyes. “Twenty dollars too much.”You told him.He put his wallet back in his pocket,shrugging his shoulders. “My dad murdered your parents,you deserve a little extra.”He smiled.You nodded,folding the money and placing the bills into your pocket. “I’ll text you later.”HE mumbled.You nodded. “Sounds like a plan.”You replied. “You know you should wear a helmet,right?”You asked.He rolled his eyes. “I know,I know.”He replied,grabbing the handle bars and walking out from the garage.He swung his leg over the seat,gripping the handle bars before driving off,leaving a cloud of dirt in his path.You chewed your gum,watching as he left.You restarted your work on another car that was covered in dents,scratches and missing half of a window.

Rafe zoomed out of The Cut,not wanting any witnesses that could possibly tell his dad that he was driving around the area.He pulled up to his house,seeing Sarah swatting away seagulls with a giant leaf.He parked his bike,leaning it on his kickstand and swinging his leg off and standing up straight.He let out a few shaky breaths,preparing himself to deal with his father’s interrogation.He placed a hand on the door handle,inhaling again to calm his nerves before opening the door and stepping into the cool,air conditioned mansion. “Where were you?”Ward asked,holding a cup of water and taking a sip from it. “I was with a friend.”He replied.Ward’s eyes narrowed. “What friend?”Ward asked,knuckles turning white as he squeezed the glass in his hand. “New friend.”Rafe squeaked out,avoiding his father's gaze. “Come here.”Ward demanded.Rafe gulped,looking up at him. “Rafe.Come.Here.”Ward repeated,reaching a hand into his pocket and taking out a small flashlight.

Rafe slowly stepped forward,avoiding Ward’s gaze.He set his glass down on the table,flicking his flashlight on.He raised his hand,gripping Rafe’s jaw to keep his attention,lifting the flashlight up to Rafe’s face and pointing it directly over his eye.Rafe blinked,trying to pull his head away.Ward squeezed his jaw,keeping the light on his pupils. “What’s this guy's name?”Ward asked,letting go of his son's jaw.Rafe cleared his throat. “She.”He mumbled.Ward furrowed his eyebrows. “Where does she live?”Ward asked.Rafe shrugged. “Far away.”He replied.Ward shook his head. “What’s her name?”Ward asked. “(Y/N).”Rafe replied,backing away a few steps from his father.He didn't miss the way that Ward’s face paled,his eyes getting a bit wide as his nose wrinkled. “How do I know you were really with her?”Ward asked.Rafe sighed. “You want me to call her or something?”Rafe asked,exasperated. “Call her,do it.”Ward demanded.

Rafe bit his tongue,taking out his phone.Ward watched him like a hawk as he scrambled through his contacts,eventually finding your name.He pressed it,choosing audio call.He lifted his phone to his ear,waiting for you to answer. “Put it on speaker phone.”Ward told him.Rafe glared down at the older man,pulling the phone away and changing it to speaker so he could hear the ringing loudly. “Dude-it literally has not even been an hour since ive seen you.What the fuck do you want?”Your voice spoke,the screeching of metal on metal in the background.Rafe smiled. “(Y/N) you're on speaker phone,my dad is also in the room.”He held back a laugh as he listened to the absolute silence on your end. “So did you want something?”You asked.Ward cleared his throat. “Can you confirm that you were with Rafe all of this afternoon?”He asked.You let out a loud sigh. “Yeah.”You replied,the annoyance clear in your voice even over the phone. “What were you guys doing?”Ward asked,staring at Rafe. 

“He visited me at work and brought me food.What were you doing while he was gone?”You asked.Ward frowned as a smirk spread across Rafe’s face. “I was waiting for him to get home.How long have you and Rafe been friends?”Ward continued his questions.You sighed. “A while,I dont know.Rafe,I gotta go, I'm still at work.I’ll talk to you later.”You spoke quickly.Rafe took you off speaker phone,pressing the phone back to his ear. “Alright,Love you.”He grinned before hanging up.He watched his father’s expressions,the way his face sunk when he realized he had been defeated.It was a far too wonderful sight.Rafe couldn't imagine the expression that would go across the man's face when he was busted for a double homicide. “She’s your girlfriend?”Ward asked.Rafe nodded,twisting the ring on his finger and waiting for this conversation to be over. “Yeah.”Rafe replied,his voice low and angry.Ward nodded. “You should invite her to have dinner with us tomorrow night.”He suggested.Rafe rolled his eyes,jogging up the stairs. “You’ve got a girlfriend?”Wheezie asked,coming out of her room.Rafe sighed,walking past her and into his room,locking the door behind him and flopping down onto his bed.

It was seven.You knew cause you had set a timer.You grabbed your backpack that you kept on a hook,changing your clothes behind a truck.You now wore a bikini with denim shorts that were tight against your thighs.You stuffed your overalls into your bag along with your yellow shirt.You put you container of sugar in with the gum that you had left,half a bag of doritos and the other lemons you had into your backpack,forcing it to zip shut.Your phone dinged in your pocket.You huffed,betting in your mind that it was Rafe Cameron.You were correct,a text from a random phone number coming across your screen.My Dad wanted me to ask you to come over for dinner tomorrow night.You wanna come?You stared down at the text,considering leaving him on delivered.You were not exactly sure you were ready to face the homicidal liar that was Ward Cameron.But then again it was free expensive food in a huge mansion.It wasn't like Ward could kill you in front of his wife and children.Sure.You replied,watching as the three dots blinked as he typed a response.I’ll pick you up tomorrow.Text me your address.You read the message before turning your phone off.You locked up the garage,stretching your arms.

You spent your evening swaying back and forth in John.B’s hammock while you played a tune from a ukelele that John.B had laying around his house. “How was work today?”JJ had asked you,laying down next to you in the hammock.You sighed dramatically. “Shitty.”You replied,dragging your fingernail along the cords.He nodded,running his fingers through your hair.JJ was one of your closest friends,one that Rafe had beaten before.He was one of three boys that weren't terrified of you,that didn't bow down to you like you were their queen.You were the Pogue Princess.Of course Kiara was a Pogue Princess but you...you were the Pogue Princess.The other two boys were Pope and John.B.They knew your friendly,bubbly side that joked about death and baked lemon muffins.They also knew your bitchy side,the one everyone else knew.JJ always loved how easily you could switch between the two and how you could steal things so easily.It was kind of just your job in life. “Oof.”JJ had replied. “Are you hanging out with us tomorrow?”Kiara asked.You sighed. “Unfortunately I have plans after work so I cannot.”You replied.JJ’s eyebrows furrowed. “Plans without us?Who are you?”He asked.

You yawned. “I’ve got other friends,you know.”You grinned,letting the ukulele rest against the bark of the tree. “I should probably head home soon and shower.I’ll see you guys this weekend though.”You smiled,getting out of the hammock and grabbing your backpack.They booed you and you flipped them off as you walked around John.B’s house and down the road.Your house was only a ten minute walk so you didnt really care or ask anyone to walk you home.When you got to your house you tossed your backpack on the floor,hearing the doritos crunch.Your phone rang.You looked down at it.Rafe was trying to facetime you.You accepted the call. “What?”You asked.He laughed. “Wow...I cant just call you to call you?”He asked.You sighed,waiting for him to get to the point. “You never texted me your address.”He explained himself.You set your phone down on the counter top. “Correct.I’ll just walk to your house.”You yawned,pouring yourself a cup of water and mixing cinnamon into it.He frowned.

 “But like...you live over a mile away.That’s just dumb.”He grumbled.You rolled your eyes,chugging the spicy liquid. “What do I even wear?We gotta make this bullshit believable.”You pulled your hair up into a bun.He smiled,only half of his face visible across your phone screen. “It doesnt really matter what you wear.You’ll look cute no matter what.”His face turned red as he waited for your response. “Whatever you say,pussy.”You replied,glancing at your phone screen. “I’ll text you my address in the morning,ive got work until three.”you told him,sitting on your counter with your phone now in your hand.He nodded. “We have dinner at like five so that works.”He grinned. “Cool.Im gonna go cause ive got shit to do.See you tomorrow,rich bitch.”You hung up before he could respond.You took a cold shower,pulling on an old t shirt and clean underwear.You looked through your dresser,finding a dark green shirt and light pants.That would work.Now all you had to do was fake date Rafe Cameron without letting your friends know while simultaneously destroying Ward Cameron psychologically until he admitted to murder.That sounded simple enough.

@gabbismith​

[mrvdocks]

Just Ask lll

He gets down on both knees, hands coming to hold yours. He rubs your knuckles with his thumbs softly, eyes still searching for some sort of indication of what you’d do in yours. 

“C’mere.” You whisper. Taking his face in your hands, you give him the redemption he asks of you with your lips. (x)

If you thought fitting into a dress was going to be a piece of cake, then this dress was the fucking creme de la creme because you just couldn’t get it off. You panicked every second you heard the seam ripping and thought it couldn’t get worse until you fell smack on your back outside of the dressing room. 

“Oh let me help you!” A female voice said. You immediately felt soft hands gently try to lift the material.

“Please!” 

“Let me, don’t worry. Move your arm.” 

The sudden breeze of air on your chest alarmed you. “Oh god I am so sorry, I didn't mean to flash you.”

“No worries, they’re a lovely pair.” 

After feeling less mortified and not smothered by a dress, you thanked your savior. A pretty British woman named Alice offered you the dress in her dressing room, which you took ashamedly. 

“Oh, wow! This is really nice.” You spun in the dress, admiring how it somehow didn’t make you feel so self-conscious. 

“I don’t get why anyone would pay this much for something like this.” You said, eyes wide as you see the tag. 

“Exactly, which is why we have,” she bends to get something out of your vision but you feel something being tugged off the dress. She’s just taken off the security magnet. “This.”

“Whoa! Um, is this legal?” 

“Shhh, go get dressed.” She whispers, pushing you back into the dressing room.

You made a mental note to pray for forgiveness later but this little number definitely would��ve bankrupted you. You ended up stealing the same set you'd had your eyes on earlier and running out the store hand in hand with your new friend, before breaking down near an alley.

You were breathing heavy, which was no surprised considering you’d just run blocks upon blocks. 

“Oh boy, you okay?” Alice asked.

Clearly hyperventilating, you shook your head. 

“I just stole clothes worth more than my studio apartment! I stole a dress! I stole lingerie!”

“Yeah!” She smiled, trying to lighten you up.

“I don’t do this! I would never do this! Oh, my stomach hurts.”

“Hey, hey calm down. It’s okay.”

“No, no, I left him. Oh my god, he will never forgive me. I just left him.”

“What?” 

“My son! I just left him like I was abandoning a puppy. Now I’m here shacking up with an ex I haven’t seen in forever just because I didn’t want to be lonely. Oh, I’m a terrible person.” You buried your face in your hands, the feeling to cry had never come so close and overwhelmed you.

“Hey, no, no it’s alright. If it’s weighing on you this much, why not go home?”

“No, I - he asked for the day. I have a day to decide.” 

“Oh honey, if it’s just for a day then go wild! Do it!”

“I should?” 

“Yeah!” 

You laughed nervously to yourself, feeling your hands still shaking. 

You ran up to the hotel room, giddy but still freaked about your stealing spiel. Billy met you there before, being almost as handsy as you wanted him to be back at the train. You let him down easy, telling him to save it for later that night. You were going to have a nice bath before you did anything else. When he went to go ‘take care of some business’, you raced into the bath and felt so much better. 

The closest thing this reminded you of was the aftercare that came after sex with Billy. He was sweet yeah, tad bit awkward and dorky but he knew what you really liked. You felt goosebumps just thinking of the way his nimble fingers worked on you, the way his arms held you in place in the water, his cheeky but funny little quips ruining the moment. It felt good but it also felt….weird. 

You couldn’t remember when you took a moment just for yourself, much less some much-needed self-care. If tonight really was the night of no consequences you figured you might as well get more bang for your buck. Maybe a little too literally.

 You made your way back to the bedroom to get dressed when your feet kicked the duffle Billy brought. 

“Ow!” You grimaced. “What the fuck’s in here, rocks?”

Unzipping the bag, you were met with a lot of green. Your eyes went wide. Was he a drug dealer? Did you really not know him so well after all? Was he going to hold you hostage and ask your family for money? He was a big shot, why would he need more money? The possibilities were endless. 

You dumped the money on the bed, filling it up until every inch of the bed was decorated with bills. Now, who was keeping secrets?

You heard footsteps coming towards the room so you armed yourself with a wad of bills in case of an emergency. Billy’s shape came into view as he closed the door.

“Oh.” Was the only thing he said. 

“Oh? You want to explain all this?” You gestured to the mountain of cash. 

“Do you trust me?” 

“Don’t turn this around, are you the one keeping secrets now?” 

“I - ”

“Do you even really want to be with me or is this about something else?”

“Listen -”

“I have been honest with you.”

“Is anyone...totally honest?” He tries to smile, but it doesn’t get him very far. He forgets how scary you can be mad. 

“Is this a game, Billy?” You can feel every emotion drop to the pit of your stomach. 

“N..No, there is no game.” He takes short strides towards you, and without a second thought, you move backward. The closer he comes, the farther away you move from him on the bed.

He stops at the end of the bed, your action striking a chord in him. He shakes his head.

“Ask me anything. I’ll tell you the truth.” 

“Are you...in trouble?”

“Yeah.”

Fuck. “Did you...steal someone’s fortune?”

“It’s my money.”

“Well see, most people don’t carry bags filled with money. Especially this,” you raked your hands through the mountain. “Much.”

“I know. But I made a huge mistake, so..” He makes a pass for your ankle but you’re still cautious. 

Defeated, he grabs the champagne bottle on the table and pops it open. Instead of pouring some into the glasses, he drinks straight from the bottle. 

“I have this money because I fucked up in my job. Some people are very mad at me, and so I’m taking my money because I can’t ever go back. Everyone knows I’m full of shit, and now I don’t know what to do.”

“What did you do?”

“I killed someone.”

You feel your stomach plummet. 

“No, I didn’t. I mean I did, in a way. I convinced this guy at one of my shows to...come off his meds.”

“You what?!”

“Not literally. You know, in a metaphorical sense. I didn’t mean for him to…” he sighed. “I’m just as guilty as if I’d killed him myself. Now you know I’m a fucking fraud and a - “

“Pariah.” You finished. 

“I was going to say laughing stock but pariah… just hits it right on the nail, doesn’t it?” 

He downs the bottle and lets it drop to the ground when empty. He knew this moment would come. He’s just as bare as you were before, and he hates it. He hates feeling seen. He hates the truth. But if you were going to stay with him somehow, you couldn’t find out about this any other way. 

He looks at you, eyes soft and desperate. He takes one more step towards you. You don’t move. 

“If you...want to go home. I understand. But I’ll tell you one thing, absolutely honestly. I really don’t want you to.” 

“Billy,” you start, seeing his face is racked with guilt. 

“You’ve changed your mind then.”

“No, no,” You crawled towards him, voice a bit softer. 

Anyone sane would not still be here. But you weren’t anyone. And you knew if you left now, you’d regret it. 

He gets down on both knees, hands coming to hold yours. He rubs your knuckles with his thumbs softly, eyes still searching for some sort of indication of what you’d do in yours. 

“C’mere.” You whisper. Taking his face in your hands, you give him the redemption he asks of you with your lips. His lips are rough but warm, you can faintly taste the champagne. 

You sigh into him, letting your hands fall to grip his shirt. You want him whole, want to feel so close to him. You crave skin to skin contact. 

He makes quick work on the buttons on his shirt, helping you to slip it off and discard it on the floor. You’re still in the robe but at this point, you couldn’t care less about feeling sexy in some pieces of lingerie. Letting it fall from your shoulders, he moves to from your jaw to kiss down your neck and lick at it. You can’t help but let a moan escape, his tongue is warm and it only makes your core feel hotter and tighter. 

Fuck it, you think and press your hands firmly against his chest to turn him over so he’s laying down and you’re on top. The room is silent except for the heavy breathing and the sound of his belt buckle coming undone. You straddle him, already feeling how hard he is, rushing to unzip him. He lifts his hips just enough to let you shrug his trousers off. He slips off everything else, his right arm coming to snake around your waist and move you with him to the top of the bed. 

You steady yourself on the headboard bar, not realizing you’re holding your breath until he speaks. “We don’t have to -”

You shush him, your own hand coming to snake down between your bodies and line him up at your center. He’s stiff and wet, you circle your thumb over his sensitive tip wiping at the pre-cum, earning a gasp from him. You bite down on your bottom lip, sinking onto him and letting out a sharp inhale. He watches you, both in awe and in cautiousness. You guide his hands to your breasts, keeping your own hands planted firmly on his chest. He gives soft and tender squeezes, fingers rolling your nipples in circles. 

You bite the bullet and move your hips agonizingly slow, letting out a soft cry. His hands come down to your hips, keeping you in place and waiting until you give him a nod to continue. 

He moves your hips in different directions, finding that forward and backward motions left you clawing at his skin. His fingers come to your lips, rubbing the sweet sensitive pearl in between your legs and eliciting wanton moans. He smirked to himself. Your bodies were on fire, hungry for the other. Needy and desperate to stoke the fire that only burned brighter with each touch. 

Billy lets you bounce on him, raunchy mewls spilling from your lips like a pornstar. You almost forgot you were in a hotel. He was hitting every spot you had, each time more intense, more euphoric. 

“God, you’re sexy.” You hear him whisper. 

He hit you deeper and harder, every stroke leaving him more breathless and happier than anything else in the world. He closes his eyes and within a second, you’re the one laying under him, pushing your hips up to fulfill the fervid craving of him inside you. 

You wrap your legs around his skinny waist, pressing the soles of your feet against his bum, trying to cram more of him in you. Your hands tug on his hair roughly, leaving him groaning against your shoulder. Each desperate and needy thrust is more demanding and pleasurable than the other. You bite lightly at his ear, a deep growl from the back of his throat rumbles almost leaving you speechless. 

He was in and out so fast, so quick, stroke after stroke leaving you to hug his body tighter with a mixture of gasps and whines and heavy breaths from his part. You took advantage of his closeness, getting close enough to his ear for him to surely hear you clearly.

 “I love you.” You whispered. 

You felt him twitch inside you, his thrusts becoming less erratic. Your back arched as you finally hit your high, your nails digging into his pale hot and sweaty skin. Two more thrusts from him and he bit down on your arm, emptying himself and groaning in sweet release. 

Everything calmed and Billy lifted his body from yours, his hands coming to frame your face. “I love you too.” Billy smiles, kissing you gently. 

You two held each other, blissfully unaware that in the far corner of the hotel room, the cell phone had finished its recording and slipped back into the hands of someone that would definitely ruin your plans later. 

[nctzendreamz]

HOMECOMING — PART ll

Prologue / Part l / Part ll / Part lll

Summary: The year is 3030, and the divide between the rich and poor couldn’t be greater. Wildwood University is the most prestigious school in the entire world, but it isn’t only because of the impeccable flying cars that can be seen best during the fuchsia lit nights, or the dexterous education everyone receives. It has secrets. A lot of secrets—the biggest being that Taeyong is going to kill you.

Genre: Gang!AU, Futuristic!AU, Dystopian!AU

Warnings: Vivid descriptions of violence, foul language, drug use, and murder.

“You’re new.” Is the first thing that comes from your lips. You’re observing him—eyes trailing up and down his lanky build. He can’t tell whether you like what you see. It’s obvious you’re not easy to read. You have some form of a wall, and it’s up. “And you’ve met Mackenzie.” You eek, mouth forming into a straight line. She can’t hear you, as her headphones are placed in her ears and she seems to be meditating.

“She said you were nice.” Taeyong mentions.

“Oh, she wasn’t lying.” You chuckle. It’s a cute sound. “She can just get...how do I say—a little boy crazy? I wouldn’t be surprised if you told me she had flirted with you. How long have you been here by the way? I’ve missed a lot of class.”

“Today is my first day, actually. And yeah...I think she likes me already.”

“Let me guess—subtle touches, awful attempts to make you laugh?”

“Exactly.” He finds himself smiling from your easy-going nature. He’s not having to jump through the hoops he imagined, as you don’t see him being the new kid as a bad thing. You both are smiling at eachother, but the moment is interrupted when a rubber airplane hits you on the side of the head.

“Can you guys leave me alone for one second? God!” You yell, and Taeyong can see that it actually pissed you off.

“Johnny’s orders.” One of them says, laughing at your annoyance.

“Is that your boyfriend?” Taeyong asks innocently. Of course he knows the truth, but he needs to seem clueless. This will help build his case.

“Don’t even make me think about that.” You barf, holding your stomach and mouth at the same time. “My brother. The guy who escorted me to class as if I haven’t been doing this forever.”

“Maybe it’s because you haven’t been to class recently.” Now it’s his turn to eek, and he gets you to laugh. You think he’s funny.

To the naked eye, it would seem like Taeyong was fond of you. I mean, he was enjoying such stimulating conversation, but he hates you even more now. He seemingly doesn’t remember that Indigo is still in his system, even though it had slightly worn his silent demeanor away. The floating of the desk is kind of making him sick, but he can’t speak on it.

“I try to just focus on a certain something.”

Did you just read his mind? He knows such technology doesn’t exist, right?

“Fun fact, I threw up on my first day of school. Everyone thought it was the funniest thing they had ever seen, but poor Mr. Eddie.” You’re relieving the memory; he can tell. The way your hand reaches for your chest, scratching a non existent rash tells him that this isn’t a memory you laugh at.

“Mr. Eddie? Is that our professor?”

“The professor.” You emphasize. “You should probably know this before class—

“Goodmorning class.” The voice comes from seemingly everywhere, but no one else looks creeped out, so Taeyong keeps his cool.

“Morning.” You all say in unison.

Suddenly, another door in the room reveals itself. A squeak of metal is making itself known, and everyone is either cringing, or covering their ears.

“Is he a fucking—

“Half man, half robot. A fucking robot. It’s crazy because we should be used to it right? I mean, it’s 3030 there are robot people everywhere.”

“It’s just the principle.” Taeyong decides, but in reality his chest is getting tight. He hadn’t even known about this. I mean, he had seen the little robots that could clean a little, and even project news on the wall if you paid a little extra, but this man is walking.

“Jeez Ed!” One of the players yells. “Late to the lecture, and loud. I think this means no homework.”

Is this how annoying the wealthy were allowed to be? Sweaty, presumably blonde jocks who just can’t be settled?

“You all are going to be very upset with me.” His voice is robotic for sure. Everyone begins to pop around, concerned for their professors well being. “But I’m going to have to cancel class. As you can hear, I need more oil.”

It’s like an explosion has taken off, because everyone minus you, Taeyong, and Mackenzie stand up immediately, fighting to get out of class first. It’s chaotic, and it’s making him anxious all over again. It’s not dramatic—it’s slight, but it feels like it can grow to make him actually explode.

“You three need a place to stay?” Mr. Eddie drys, clearly shocked at your presence.

“This is Taeyong.” You introduce. “And while we both know I would’ve been the first one out of here, someone has to show him around.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it Y/N.” Mackenzie speaks suddenly, taking her headphones out. “I’m sure you want to go see Kun anyway. He’s back, right?”

Kun? Who the hell was Kun?

“Kun?” Taeyong questions with a head tilt. “Is that your boyfriend?”

Your hand finds home on your earlobe, and it’s rubbing it softly. There is a smile on your face, but it’s extremely quiet and sad. Whoever Kun is to you, you love him—or at the least care about him. But at the same time, things aren’t peachy.

“No.” Is all you say, slapping your hand to your leg. “Enough about me though!” Your bright nature has returned, and it’s almost weird. He must be your ex, and where was he? Why did he leave and come back? “I have to show you around! I also need to meet your roommate and tell them if they try to hurt you it’ll be their head.”

That’s ironic, he thinks to himself. So badly does he want to laugh something evil because you’re so stupid and clueless, but he contains himself.

“What about me?” Mackenzie is pouting now, arms covering her chest. Does she really thinks that’ll work? I mean, it was quite pathetic.

“You know I love you, right?” Your tone is soft as you speak to her, hands on her shoulder. Your eyes must be as beautiful as he predicted, because her aggressive stance is loosening by the second.

“Of course I do.” She spills.

“Then I know you remember that you have a terrifying essay to write for literature, and that you don’t need to be out all day. Plus, weren’t you trying to go to the race tomorrow?”

“It was in my plans.”

“Then finish your essay tonight. Then, all the boys can see you looking good with the LED lights shining all over you...doesn’t that sound perfect?” You’re painting the picture with your hands, the both of you looking into space.

“You’re right!” She squeals, jumping up at the thought.” “You’ll be there too, right Lee?”

He looks at you for a quick moment, realizing he never told you his “name”. You seem to process it for a moment before looking at him for a response.

“I mean...I can’t make any promises. I’m not the going out type.”

“But I’ll be there. And when I’m somewhere, it matters.”

His ears were bleeding. He just knew it. “Right.” He whispers, trying his best to not sound awkward.

He should have said no when you offered to show him around. His current feelings were nothing short of introverted, and the farther the two of you walked, the more hot he became.

“I’m sure you’re used to seeing stuff like this.”

Oddly, you don’t seem tired. You had practically shown him the entire East section of the campus, and even he—the cold blooded murderer needed some water.

“Oh yeah.” He says dryly. “You know how it is in Valhalla. There are things everywhere. Blazing lights, fresh air...”

“Exactly.” You smile.

He had to admit, your smile made him feel safe. He still needed to go through with his mission, but it’s nice to know you won’t be annoying him the whole time he’s getting you to trust him. You’re easy going, and he’s already in the friendzone. He just needs to get farther.

There’s a kid coming by fast on his hoverboard, but you’re too busy looking at your watch to even hear the skrting of the device. With a swiftness, Taeyong takes your elbow and back into his hands, and he moves you to the other side.

“Shit.” You breathe out, hand on your chest now. You’re ashamed. “I’m so sorry. I promise I’m not usually this clumsy—well that’s not true, but none the less I—

“It’s okay.” He chuckles, letting his hand slide from your shoulder all the way down to your hand. He squeezes it lightly, and the look in his eyes are swallowing you. “It happens to the best of us.”

And now the two of you are having a stare down. He can see how genuine you are. The way your eyes soften the more time that passes proves this, and Taeyong is mocking your actions. In the pit of his stomach he can feel something, and he reads it to be disgust. God, you seemed like a nice person, but wasn’t this a waste of time? To do all of this and make you think he actually cares?

“Right.” You finally speak, looking at the first tree that appeared in your vision. “Anyways, we should probably go to your room now. Have you been in it at all?”

This must be how you deal with problems—moving on without a second thought. You didn’t like to think about your feelings, but at the same time didn’t that mean you were in touch with your emotions?

“It was my first stop.” He admits. He had heard about the people whos only job was to move people in and out, all for free, but with the belongings he had in his bag, that obviously wasn’t an option for him.

It took his breath away, although everything at Wildwood did. Back in the day, college dorm rooms were tight-knit, with squeezed beds and insects crawling somewhere unless you went to a top school. His room consisted of two king sized beds, and they gave him the option to make it a water bed.

He had already spent his morning hiding everything, so you wanting to come inside was no big deal. As you two journey up the hologram escalator, he noticed you were looking into space even though you should be looking at all the scenery.

“Something on your mind?”

His voice is soft when he speaks to you, and he decides in this moment that he’ll keep it that way. It seems to make you more comfortable, and comfortable means you’ll start talking; trusting.

“Too many things.” You chuckle. Now your eyes are closed, and you seem to be soaking in the good weather as if it’s the only thing good from your day. “No need to burden you with it.”

“It’s not a burden. There’s nothing worse than having no one to go to.”

“Then tell me a little bit about you, newbie.” The two of you reach the top—another door that leads to his complex. Unfortunately, they do separate these things by gender even in 3030.

Taeyong is looking for a key to his room; stopping himself as he realizes he’s not in NEO anymore. All he needs is his thumb. “Nothing much to know.” He keeps it short. “I’m just a regular, rich guy.” His tone is sarcastic, but instead of being skeptical, you laugh.

“Are you always this funny?”

That was the first time other than Mackenzie that someone had appreciated his sarcastic humor. As deppresing as it sounded and was, there weren’t a lot of jokes to be made in NEO. I mean, he usually was completely intoxicated, not wanting to laugh unless he was taking someone’s life. He’s surprised such a sentence could form from him, especially in a place he was dreading so much.

“Nope, just around nice people like you.”

He hates every second of this. He was never one to be in the mood for love, only death, blood, and darkness. He had his fair share of steamy nights in the alley ways with the street whores, but he never cared about them. He never would care about anyone but his brothers, truthfully.

He can’t tell if you’re a mess because he’s not facing you. He’s focused on his print before the door clicks, and the two of you step in.

Whoever his roommate is, he’s here. The room that Taeyong walked into this morning was empty, but this room was now full of boxes and an outfit on the bed. You’re looking around just as he is, except he’s searching to make sure his belongings are still in place. They seem to be. The pathetic rich boys who went here weren’t capable of putting something back so perfectly, so he lets his guard down.

“Well, this is it.” He motions all around the room, appreciating his own effort to keep his side spotless.

“I always wondered what it would be like to live in a dorm.” You sigh.

“You don’t live in one?”

“My dad is kind of....the president of the university. And per his rules, his kids have to stay with him.”

So you still live with your parents? Not odd, but at the same time why would he be trying to keep you around. The buisness, he remembers. It was never specified what it was. Drugs had crossed Taeyong’s mind, but at the same time, so did paper, and loans. But now that he considered it, your father must have business with bad people, meaning others could be out to get you. I mean, he was. No no, Taeyong. That’s too much of a stretch, and even so, she does live at home, which means the mission isn’t compromised.

“At least he cares about you.”

“I guess.” You take a deep breath, and he can’t miss the way you hault.

“What’s wrong?”

“That scent...I know it.” Now you’re looking all around the room at his mates side, touching his things frantically.

“Y/N, who is it? Did they do something to you?”

The door opens—so cliché. On the other side is a built man sporting a tank top and sweatpants. His hair seems to be black—but it could also be blue. His face is serious as he walks in, but the minute he locks eyes with you, they soften. It was the same thing you had done to him not too long ago. His lips are trying to find the proper words say to you, but instead he just stands there. You’re frozen in place—hands locked on one of his clothing items.

Kun. This had to be Kun.

[bards-witcher]

Perdita - Chapter 4

So I’ve changed up the layout of the chapters just a little, so they may be a little different from the first time around in an effort to clean things up a bit.

As always I hope you enjoy and let me know what you think?

Previous  lll  Next

.

It’s hours later and he’s still on the roof, the fire having been put out by emergency services long ago as he now lay on his back to stare up at the stars, barely able to make them out due to pollution of the city on the night’s sky.

At this moment he yearned to go to the countryside, to the small clearing through a forest which he and Luke used to camp at to take themselves away from the stresses of daily life, to just take a deep breath and enjoy what little time they had with the other.

He liked to think that Luke was up there now, up in amidst the stars he loved so much watching over him, however, the thought was quick to sour in his mind, Luke would hate who he’d become and especially what he’d done under G’s ruling, not that he’d had much control over it.

Giving the sky a final look, he stood up, grabbing his bag before he slowly made his way down the fire escape, ever mindful of the growing pain in his ribs as he landed lightly on his feet in the now dark alleyway, taking a moment to orientate himself before he made a move to leave.

However, he’d only made it a couple of steps before the feeling of eyes on him had him stilling and pulling the knife he’d stashed in his belt, once again trying to reason that it was simply paranoia, but he had two gangs looking for him after all and having been in this line of work for so long, he knew when to trust his gut. 

The sound of a loud crash of metal near the road had his hand tightening around the knife in his jacket pocket and like lightning turned towards the sound only to make out a flash of blue dart around the corner of the building.

He ran out of the alley then, his knife brandished as he followed the flash of color before he quickly got into a defensive pose as he expected a fight, only he saw nothing, almost as if his mind had conjured the whole thing and nothing had happened as he looked down the long empty stretch of road.

The quiet of the street was eerie and did little to put him at ease, he stayed there for a moment longer before putting the knife back in his pocket, his hand never leaving its hilt as he began to walk through the dimly lit street for a place to sleep for the night.

**********

He thought it would take a lot longer to readjust to homelessness, it having been almost two decades since he was last on the streets, but strangely, it was like riding a bicycle.

As much as he wanted to, he knew skipping town wasn’t an option he could afford, it would be almost too easy for either gang to chase him down like a wild animal and kill him, besides, he had unfinished business here.

Due to his broken ribs, he had been forced to lay low for the first few weeks, never staying in one part of the city too long and rarely frequenting the same place twice, trying to move only under the cover of darkness to make hiding from prying eyes just that bit easier.

However, during the day he was still constantly on the move, stopping only to sleep for a couple of hours at a time before moving on to a new area to rest for another few hours. It was tedious and tiring but given that he’d had no sign of G’s gang or of his old friends in the last few weeks it must have meant that it was working until it didn’t that is.

It was his fifth week out on the streets and he was currently headed to the ‘local’ jaunt under a long-abandoned underpass where most of those who were homeless came to rest at night, he only came here once a week tops, mainly to gather any new info on what was going on in the town, being the bottom of the food chain, these people normally saw and heard things which the normal person wouldn’t pay much mind to but was worth its weight in gold to him.

As soon as he got there he wasted no time to slowly make his way to one of the fire pits to speak with Carl, an older man ranging in his 60’s who was the unspoken leader of the people here, and had somehow taken him under his wing, however, as he got closer, he saw the man talking to two guys which he quickly recognized to be two of G’s men.

They weren’t much more than henchmen, simply sent around to do the nitty-gritty tasks no one else wanted, but despite their slender bodies, he knew just how aggressive and dangerous the pair were, having been out on jobs with them many times in the past.

He stuck to the shadows as he edged closer to the group in an effort to make out what they were saying, watching as they held up a picture of him for Carl and the couple of other people around him to look at and identify.

For a moment he felt a spike of panic travel through him at the thought of being sold out, he hadn’t known these people for long after all and they owed him nothing, but relief was quick to take over as he saw the older man deny all knowledge of him and he was never more grateful for a group of people at the fact, briefly noting he’d have to come back and express his gratitude towards them when his life settled down a little.

Once the two men had made their rounds of the area, having gotten nowhere with their search, they began to make their way out of the underpass until they were stopped by someone he didn’t recognize at first, but when he did he felt all the color leave his face.

When he’d first come here he’d unintentionally gotten himself a reputation, a group of guys had seen him pull some food out of his bag and soon came over demanding he hand it over. Naturally, he refused, which made one of the guys pull his fist back and aim a punch to his face, which he easily deflected before throwing his own punch, causing the man to quickly fall to the floor.

A minute later and all five guys were on the floor, hands holding their bloodied noses and sore jaws before sulking back into their corner.

From then on everyone knew not to fuck with him, but he’d always seen the hatred and anger in their eyes when he came through, and now it appeared that karma had finally come to bite him in the ass.

He couldn’t hear what was said between the men, only saw the two guys pull their guns towards Carl demanding answers, but still, the older man refused to give them, and he knew the man had just signed his own death warrant.

Before either man could even make a move he quickly pulled out his knife and threw it at one of them, catching the guy in the throat, who soon fell to the floor choking on the blood now staining the floor red, as the other guy quickly aimed his gun towards him.

He moved on the balls of his feet through the darkness as the other man started to approach him, thankful that he hadn’t been seen yet. Slowly he crept around the small pile of rubble he was hiding behind as the man got closer to him, crouching in place as he got ready to launch himself for when the man would come into his view.

The guy had just come into his eyesight when he stopped moving suddenly, making him wait with bated breath for the other man to make his move, only he wasn’t given the chance when he heard gargling noises before the man fell to the floor, dead.

He stood, ready to fight if need be only to see Carl standing there, his knife shaking in the other man’s hand before he spat onto the guy's body, the sight enough to bring a small smile to his face.

“I believe this is yours” He gratefully accepted the knife that was handed to him, bending down to wipe it on the dead guys' trouser leg before pocketing it again “Seems you got yourself into quite the bit of trouble here”

He could only let out a terse laugh at the comment, sure that it was the understatement of the century at this point “You could say that, don’t suppose you could get rid of a couple of bodies for me?”

“We’ll take care of ‘em, you just go and be safe now, okay?” He relaxed a little as he felt Carl put a hand on his shoulder, giving it a light squeeze, allowing himself to enjoy the only comforting bit of human contact he’d had over the past few weeks, as he nod his head in reply as his throat felt thick with emotion.

Without another thought he pulled the bag from his shoulder, rummaging through it for a moment before he found what he was looking for, without a second thought he placed the last of his cash, about $60, in Carls’ hand, it was several weeks’ worth of food that he just lost, but he just wished he had more to give to thank these people for helping him.

“Thank you, Carl, for everything” Now it was Carl’s turn to nod his head, the two looking at each other for a moment longer before with a final shake of the hand, he turned to leave, not wanting to risk these people’s lives any further.

He walked around the town for a bit, letting himself relax a little knowing that neither gang would try anything in broad daylight with people around, at least not in the open, but still, he kept alert for the slightest movement indicating foul play.

So far he’d been relatively lucky given how he hadn’t run into anyone yet despite G’s men having been at the underpass only moments ago, however, when he was about to cross the road he noticed a reflection in a shop window, it was guy in a pigs’ mask staring right at him.

They stared at each other in silent acknowledgment, feeling panic begin to edge along his spine and frozen in place, before a couple of cars drove past, blocking his view of the other man and only once the street was clear again did he notice that Tyler was gone.

His panic only grew, so much so that he could almost choke on it, quickly taking a breath before crossing the road in front of him, adrenaline now coursing through his system as he ducked into a nearby alleyway.

After he took a moment to calm his racing heart he moved to the edge where the alley met the street, sticking to the shadows as best as he could in order to try and figure his best plan of action.

It was then that a light shone at his eyes and after reaching a hand up to try and shield himself, a brief scan of the rooftops showed Lui sat at the ready, a sniper rifle in hand that was angled towards him.

He quickly moved deeper into the alley, not wasting a second as he climbed over the gate which had previously blocked his access to the next street across, not bothering to spare a glance behind him as he started weaving his way through the streets and alleys to shake off any potential pursuers.

Eventually, through some sick will of God apparently, he found himself back at the building where he’d watched his flat burn all those weeks ago, he hadn’t meant to come here but he strangely felt a sense of comfort settle over him being here.

Deciding not to question it, he quickly made his way up back onto the roof, the journey taking a fraction of the time it previously did now that he was almost fully recovered, taking a moment to appreciate the sight of the city before moving away from the edge to settle himself in for some rest.

He made the quick decision to spend the rest of the day and the night there, giving him a good chance to get some genuine rest, hoping that for once no one would decide to come looking for him.

With a sigh he sat down, unsure whether he’d need to flee or fight during the night, hoping for once that he would be lucky and event-free.

Even so, he took the pistol from his bag and tucked it into his waistband before patting his midsection until he felt the knife pressed against his stomach, a comforting weight that allowed him to relax just that little bit more.

He moved his bag to act as a sort of pillow as he lay down, quickly closing his eyes to try to will himself to get at least some sleep before the sunset and the monsters would come out.

**********

The sun was just beginning to set behind the line of buildings when he woke up, quickly sitting up to check his surroundings to make sure that he was still safe, too used to the constant threat of danger that he could only relax and let out the breath he’d been holding when the coast was finally clear.

As the sky grew darker he simply sat there, paying attention to any and every noise he heard as he constantly checked not only his guns but the contents of his bag before repacking them, only to then get bored and start the whole process again.

After a while, when the chill really started to set in and his fingers began to get numb, he pulled out the photo from his pocket, now worn with having been folded and unfolded numerous times and from the teardrops that stained it.

He doesn’t know how long he stared at it, an ache in his heart as he thought about the what-ifs and the maybes of the past months, his mind going in endless circles only serving to torment him until he saw movement in his peripheral.

Within a second he was on his feet and his gun drawn, his breath getting caught in his throat when he saw Luke start slowly walking towards him, his hands up in surrender.

“Bit trigger happy aren’t we?” There it was, that smooth southern drawl which he’d thought he’d never hear again. He could feel his heart in his throat now but still, he stood his ground, gun pointed towards the older man “Not gonna talk, huh? Fair enough, I don’t mind sittin’ here, ‘specially with a view this good”

He felt tears prickle his vision, this was Luke, his Luke, looking just as he always had, his voice crystal clear in the night sky with the ability to even now make him blush, but as much as he wanted to believe it, to give in to the lie, he knew it was just some sick conjuration of his mind.

Before Luke could make a move, he gestured to the gun in his hand in an effort to try and establish some sort of control over the impossible situation, still aiming it towards the man in front of him who definitely shouldn’t be there.

“How?” He’s not surprised that his voice cracked, he was far too overcome with emotion that he could barely even say the word.

“How am I here? Well, see there’s another set of fire escapes on the other side of…..”

“No! How’re you here, how’re you alive?” He noticed his hands were shaking as he kept the gun pointed towards Luke, all his resolve beginning to slip away as he wanted nothing more than to be embraced by the other man once again.

It was then that a look of pity crossed Lukes’ face, the older man dropping his arms as he cautiously began to walk towards him, only stopping when the still trembling gun in his hand was pressed against his chest.

“Why’d you think I’m dead? Because that sick fucker told you so?” All he could do was look up at the man in front of him, not even wanting to tempt the belief of Lukes’ survival, knowing this must all be a sick game of his own mind “Tell me Ry, what did you see?”

His stance relaxed then, all fight leaving him as he dropped his arms and held the gun loosely in his right hand whilst his left went to cup Lukes’ face, flinching a little as he felt the ice-cold skin beneath his and feeling his resolve sturdy at the fact that he knew this Luke to be fake, all as he tried to give a weak smile whilst tears fell freely down his face.

“I shot you, Luke” he moved the hand cupping Lukes’ face to his forehead, pointing his finger at the exact spot his bullet struck “Right here”

When he removed his hand from Luke he saw that there was blood on it, taking a moment to look at it coating his fingers before he looked back up at the older man only to feel his heart stop for a moment and his breathing catch in his throat as he saw the blood now trickling down the other man’s face from the bullet wound which hadn’t been there moments before.

Luke was seemingly unaffected by the change, but quickly grabbed onto his shoulders and started to shake him a little as if he was trying to get him out of a trance, pleading at him almost when he next spoke “No Ryan, what did you really see?”

He could give a confused stare at the other man, hoping for a more elaborate answer or even a hint to whatever goose chase his mind was setting him on, but just as suddenly as he’d come, Luke was gone.

With a shuddering breath, he collapsed back onto the roof, unaffected by the cold of the night air as it already felt like Ice was traveling through his veins as for the second time on that same roof he once again succumbed to his grief.

[clairehazelb]

A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR OF THE TENTH CUBE

And by Editor I mean, Claire Hazel,

(whom you may know as C.M. Hazel)

Writing my first historical fiction novel was a task of love, but a great endeavor nonetheless.

When we do things we love. we love the things we do. The Tenth Cube was, in essence, my love for romance and history poured onto pages of combined plotlines and historical facts. Coupled with science and a good dose of ritz, it blossomed like a garden flower into the novel it became. I felt, finally, like a writer the moment I wrote “The End.”

Writers, like professionals of other art forms, just are. Mostly, it occurred to me long ago,  we can become it, like the second you write the last sentence of that novel, or publish your book, like there is a glorified ending to calling yourself a member of the elite group of artists who pine at the sight of a lonely blank page.

Or so I felt. 

I read years ago -and my apologies to the person who wrote it for I sincerely do not recall the author- that ‘the moment you call yourself what you esteem yourself to be, is the moment you become it’. Therefore, if you want to be a writer, you call yourself a writer and let others deliberate on whether you are apt to be or not.

I practiced my skill of saying I was a writer in front of a mirror or while waiting for traffic to move in the lane ahead of mine. I yelled it out the window for good measure. “Move the fuck out of the way. I am a writer and can write this into my book!”

The moment somebody asked me and I said it out loud, I embodied it with pride, like the day I stepped with character shoes onto a stage felt for the actress in me. It burgeoned out of me like it was supposed to forever, waiting to be discovered. I beamed with the wine-laced fever of the evening.

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  It was a pivotal moment in my history, redefining where I ended up with my work. I went on a search for myself and found my writing voice. The days were growing longer with the dawn of my ideas and entries, so I had to make use of what I was inspired to do.

Despite my assertion, that I was a writer and not a poser, fear of criticism stalled me. I faced it like stage fright, but it was a sinister face at the end of my journal telling me it was not good enough. Nothing could come out of my penned notes and rhythmic pentameters.

I read about imposter syndrome around the time, looking for ways to face my fears. As it turns out, it can apply to anyone in any career, but it is a disorder that affects writers especially so, the idea that you aren’t good enough is prevalent amongst the inked-fingered-wordsmiths in my profession.

When I finished the Tenth Cube, everything changed.  While editing, I thought about a piece I had never published which explored the elements of fear. From that entry into my journal, came the text I eventually entered into my novel. I felt it appropriate for my second published book and first historical fiction novel. Aspiring writers are usually the best readers and learn best while to reading other writers’ works, taking what they can to heart. Here is part of the text in my book.

  A WRITING INDULGENCE

When I first started writing The Cube (as I lovingly call this novel), I typed without direction and wrote about many topics. I posted most of it on an old website, I would not even dare call a blog at this point. I eventually learned to hold hands with my muse in a better way and supplied my artistic knowledge with my other artistic experience. But, it inevitably always led me toward the same reason for not embarking onto a manuscript fully. Fear.

  My head swam with thoughts and reasons why I would fail miserably at my task. I just knew.

I know everything in stories has already been said and done.

I know I’m not alone when it comes to storytelling and interesting facts about life and circumstance. I know the very principle of storytelling relies on the fact that the narrative is good and characters are interesting. And, then again, I don’t know anything at all.

I personally see the story better in my head than how it reflects on writing.

  Despite knowing and fear, stories ultimately lead you where you need to go. And for sake of argument,

Yes, I believe it’s possible to be a good storyteller, despite everything having been done already.

Rarely am I ever afraid, even rarest is my admission to the fear, but it scares me a little still because nothing has ever worked in my mind better than my stories.

I’ve failed so miserably at so many things it’s hard to start this again. I do not fear telling you this though. I write for a while and the fear disappears. I want to be the bearer of good news for new writers or those having an urge to quit like I have so many times before. Bear with me on this.

The phrase ‘It started with a notebook I once wrote’ jumped into my head a while ago. I wrote a poem about it because of the many notebooks later it took me to create the first personal entry into a public medium. I’d written about theater plays and Language Education with a technical point of view, but storytelling, like acting in stories which came to life through my fingers, became the part of me I most enjoyed writing.

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About eight years ago, I wrote a story –also based on a weird dream- and I went from there. I haven’t really stopped writing since. So, maybe that’s my beginning for this. I’ve scattered ideas and unfinished stories everywhere. My own pending as ever, the satire runneth over my brimming mind, for lack of better understanding sets perfectly in here. But, to make things simple, I will advise you to keep trying new and trying for more.

“Delia became my headstrong voice for writing. Though it was my second novel finished, she paced my thoughts in a way no other story had, and I was hooked to her charms. Delia Donovan became my daily dose of the [her-story] I so hated as a young girl and delight so in my adult years. Instead of writing columns of advice for women as I had planned, I went toward writing about strong, intelligent, resourceful, frightened yet capable women with the same principle in mind.” Claire Hazel

Delia will hopefully continue to inspire stories – I am in research and writing the second novel. There will likely be a third as well.

Aspiring writer and authors, the gist of what I mean in this.

It took me X years to develop the voice I needed to write this book.

It took me lll to research and write the full novel, with periods of off and on to dream and work on other projects.

It has taken me lV between trying to publish on my own and finding a publisher.

  The Tenth Cube became an enduring project because it has a life worth living, I have said that before I think. Most writers live in this world where stories cannot go untold. Therefore my dear thirtysomething-writer who hasn’t started yet, if you are like I was, find the outlet to do so and share the story that has a life worth living.

Take the time to write and sit with confidence to edit. And please, share with me that hard-pressed jewel when you like.

A big box with recycled paper packing and a mug of coffee with enough supply for reading will be the most delicious treat a grown girl could ever get.

  What are then, these so-called Elements

By ways of telling you of the best technique I have used to move my stories and find the hidden information in my characters I need to shape their persona, we will use the What if? technique. What ifs are a way to create possibility. When you have doubts, there are endless What ifs going around in your head like a merry-go-round of incertitude. In essence, The Elements of said turntable of fear could be considered the following:

What if I can’t write like the rest of the authors I read?

This could fall within the impostor syndrome I wrote about before. You are not an impostor of your own game, you feel like a writer, believe it with confidence. It does not mean you have to be like other writers, successful or not.

Writing may or may not take time. For the present me, it is a matter of sitting to the type or jot down notes. But as I mentioned, it took many years to develop a voice I found pleasing and suitable, according to my desired writing style. I guess what is important is that

you don’t imitate but emulate those you love AT FIRST to develop your own voice

write about what you like and not what people like, the audience will find you and relate better

study the greats and accommodate your needs through your learning styles and experiences

nobody is alike and we are all connected, so find what works for your personal style without judging yourself or thinking you will be compared

What if there are things I don’t know or need to include in my novel I know absolutely nothing about?

Researching novels doesn’t have to be grueling work. Annote as you write (for pantsers) or outline the novel as you want it to be (plotter). Your writing style can help or hinder you. So, read carefully,

Research as needed before and fully after finishing your manuscript

Too much research can create difficulty for you and/or your reader, who is probably not in need to sit through, say, a history class instead of understanding through the plot movement

Too little research shows lack of pulchritude and disrespect to your readers, or make you sound nonchalant and ignorant.

Rule of thumb? Be aware, show knowledge, but don’t over inform.

What if I get stuck in my writing process?

Find inspiration wherever you look or take time to be still and OBSERVE

Nature, life, family, etc, show us and teach us. Use its lessons to show you the way, so do not just look and see, WATCH AND LEARN

Don’t overwhelm yourself or stick to a plotline if you feel stuck. Take a break to refresh your ideas and they will hit you when you least expect it, I promise you! An exercise that works for me is jumping the part where I am stuck and either mind mapping or planning the ending first then backtracking to the difficult area

Talk to your characters. they tell you lies at times but help you find the way. Listen carefully!

What if they do not help me publish?

Many writers are still sitting on the sideline of genius, gems of witing prose at their fingertips. Sadly, most give up writing because of this. I have quarried and continue to quarry publishers without much success, but I keep pressing on.

I self-published my first two books with great difficulty and many years of work, but they paid off in a way nothing else has. Take your chances with self-publishing. (I will soon open a platform for other writers to send me manuscripts to publish as an editor. News on this later!)

What if I don’t have time to write?

Write where ever you are able to create a strong writing muscle. Keep pen and pads where ever you can or use phones and tablets, recording apps, and /or your digital cameras

Take every chance you get to exercise the need to write, be it a post-it note or a short phrase inside a journal, a Tweet or a love note, make those words count in your favor

What if I do not feel like I can write my novel (yet)?

Use blogs, submit to magazines, write articles or content, keep journals, or write your family’s newsletter.

Contact your local papers or ask if anybody needs a content writer in your school or local businesses

Start with simpler texts, like magazine entries and restaurant menus

Keep writing your way into the published author you want to be without thinking that you have to have a published book in your hands before you can call your self a writer. There are hundreds of professions where writing is a need and many forms of writing are included in this. Comic book writers, for exa

  Comic book writers, for example, are storytellers, too. It is a matter of how you see your writing come to life to show others your stories. Find where your style fits best and show your best work.

My final writing indulgence was to tell other writers that there are ways, time, and chances to do what you love and ways to do it. The biggest problem most people face is fear, but fear can come with a face, a price tag, a backseat without a window, or an empty stomach and children on your hip.

We may fear different things which hinder our jump into the life we want. Discovering the fear we face is the first step toward the freedom from it. The next is up to you.

  With love,

Claire.

Lovely writer and content creator, take a moment to create your own purpose, and formulate a plan to write your way into the content you like to read. Start by creating your own space and sharing with others the gift of your writing wisdom, comedic genius, romantic side, laughing tales of your youth, or the recipes and secrets your grandmother gave you to keep.

You will get a cool credit for those plugins that make your place shine and sparkle.

It is easy and fast to start. Tell me about it on your way back to my content and happy writing!

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Before the Tenth Cube. I typed without direction and wrote about many topics. With time and practice, I learned to hold hands with my muse, but fear held me back. Learn how to understand it and push past it. A NOTE FROM THE EDITOR OF THE TENTH CUBE And by Editor I mean, Claire Hazel,

[weasleys-wizard-writes]

The Making of a Weasley Part lll: The Celebrating of a Weasley

Here it is! The third installment of my George Weasley x Reader series! I hope you enjoy it! 

Genre: Fluff 

Content Warnings: None

Word Count: 1,123

“You what?!” Ron yelled as Molly gasped and began rambling on and on about how she just knew one of her kids would end up with twins some day. Meanwhile, Arthur hadn’t quite grasped on to what you were saying, Bill was clapping his hand over George’s shoulder in congratulations, Fred was grinning more broadly than you had ever seen him grin before, and George... George had gone a bit pale in the face and had his mouth hanging open. You smiled as you looked up at him, watching him starring off into space for a few moments before reaching up to gently poke him in the cheek, successfully breaking him out of his reverie. You couldn’t help but blush a bit as he looked down, turning all of his attention to you as he took both of your hands into his own, “And when did you find out about this, love?” He asked quietly, pressing his forehead against yours gently in a way that made your heart flutter in your chest. You looked up to meet his eyes, put at ease by all of the love and adoration you found lying within them, “The doctor's appointment yesterday. I would have told you by now if I didn’t want to announce it to everyone at once, you know how much I hate keeping things from you.” You murmured softly, completely forgetting about the surrounding family for a moment before the sound of someone clearing their throat brought you back to reality. You pulled away from George hurriedly, turning to look at the now silent family sitting across from you, all of them smiling in a way that made you feel at home. With that announcement made the Christmas party continued on, the only difference from previous years being there was just a little bit more baby talk than usual. 

A little more than two months after you announced your pregnancy, Ginny and Hermione got the entire family together once again for a different event, this event being your baby shower. You had just recently had your doctors appointment where they revealed the gender of your twins to you, and while you were currently the only one in the room who knew what the children you were carrying were, that was about to change. Being a half-blood you had decided to bring some muggle traditions to your baby shower, one of these traditions being the good old fashion balloon popping gender reveal. Explaining this to George and the rest of his family had been quite an ordeal since all of them seemed rather confused with the idea of popping a balloon to find out the sex of a baby, but you had explained it over and over again and answered all of their questions until finally, everyone understood. That was why you and George were currently standing in the middle of two balloons, each of you holding a needle in one of your hands as everyone stood around the two of you, eager to know the sex of your babies. You grin at your boyfriend happily, nodding before the two of you begin to count down from three, pressing the needles against the taut latex of your balloons at the same time as two loud pops sounded and tons of pink glitter filled the air. 

Cheers broke out from everyone around the room all at once, and you couldn’t help but grin widely as George pulled you in for a rather dramatic kiss that left you gasping for air by the time he was done with you. When he pulled away there was a broad smile on his face and an almost crazed look in his eyes as he held you against him. Looking out at all of the people who had come to the baby shower just to celebrate you and your baby made you get teary-eyed, and once everyone began to quiet down once again you made sure to thank everyone for coming before Ginny announced that it was time to eat. 

You sat beside George on your couch later that night, your head on his shoulder as he rubbed your back gently, the feeling of his soothing hands rubbing circles against your skin nearly making you purr against him. As fun as your baby shower had been it was also exhausting for a woman who was four months pregnant with twins, and by the time it was all over you were very glad to be able to go home and relax with your boyfriend. It was fairly late, a little after ten and the two of you were taking some time to yourselves to just chat about the day's events and how everything had gone, it was something you did often after a long day. That was why you hadn’t suspected a thing. George was sitting just beside you, his hand rubbing your back before he moved it away slowly, and you whined at the absence of warmth for a moment before he placed his hand on your stomach which now held the familiar curve and roundness that came with pregnancy. You looked up at him happily, reminded once again of the look on his face when the balloons had burst and he had found out you were pregnant with not one, but two baby girls. Suddenly, before you could even process what was going on he was on his knees in front of you, one hand on either side of your stomach as he lifted up your shirt and pressed gentle kisses to your skin. You screeched with laughter, squirming beneath him and kicking your legs as he continued on with his torture. When George finally stopped a few seconds later you were gasping for air as he chuckled against you, standing up and bending down to capture your lips between his own. He kissed you sweetly, his hands cupping your face even as he pulled away and pressed his forehead against your own, “Our daughters,” He said quietly, his lips only inches away from your own, “Will be an outstanding addition to the Weasley family.” He grinned deviously and you arched a brow, wondering what he was up to, “But I’m not sure they’ll be enough.” You grew even more confused, and it must have shown on your face because George was very quick to clarify, “I think the only way to make this family absolutely perfect” He pressed a quick and gentle kiss to your lips before continuing, “Would be to add you to it.” Before you could even register what was happening George was on one knee in front of you, pulling a small black box out of his pants pocket. “Y/n L/n, Will you Marry me?” 

I hope everyone enjoyed this new installment to The Making Of A Weasley series! I’m so glad so many people have liked it so far and I plan to get to work on the next part ASAP!

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