#I knew he was bad ever since chapter 2 but it wasn’t until chapter 6 it set in

[meeks-just-wants-to-scroll]

I knew Micah wasn’t a great guy but I was a fool to think he had any redeeming traits.

[hellfirenacht]

Wing Man Part 7

Fic Summary: Steve 'the Hair' Harrington is your best friend, and is constantly striking out. Sick of this, you two make a deal; you'll wing man for each other. Hooking Steve up with dates is easy, but he finds himself struggling to find you a date. At least, until Dustin starts talking about his new cool friend Eddie.

(1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9)

Chapter Summary: Dustin spills the beans, and Wayne gives some advice.

5k words

Chapter Summary: Dustin spills the beans, and Wayne gives some advice.

A/N: Happy New Year! I ran out of steam there for a while but I am bursting with new inspiration and have a billion ideas for new and old fics! Thank you for your patience and support 💜

The next night after dropping you off at home, there was a storm the likes of which Hawkins had never seen. Lightning lit up the sky through the night like a shitty rave, knocking out the power for Forest Hills Trailer Park for the better part of two days. It wasn’t until Saturday, when Eddie attempted to check in on Ronnie again, that he realized that their worn out phone had been completely fried. Shit.

Getting a new one was easier said than done, Eddie and Wayne had to pinch pennies this week after his uncle had been out of work a few days because of a cold, and having to replace a good chunk of groceries that had gone bad sitting in the dead fridge.

Sure, Bev had been nice enough to give Eddie a few extra shifts at the Hideout to help cover but that was a paycheck that wasn’t going to be in for another week. There was always his dealings, but he’d been keeping his head down after nearly having his stash blown by an over enthusiastic K-9 unit that, thankfully, was more interested in the jerky that Eddie had in his jacket.

For a week, he’d been without a phone now. Normally it wasn’t a huge loss, not many people actually bothered trying to call him anyway, and Wayne didn’t really socialize much working the night shift. But he missed Ronnie, and he really was stressing each day that went by that he didn’t call you. Eddie knew that whatever this was, he was probably already blowing it.

Tuesday rolled around again, and he hoped that you’d show back up to the Hideout. Jeff had even agreed to give most of the band a ride if Eddie agreed to haul their equipment and do all of the breakdown in case you needed another ride home. No such luck though, unbeknownst to him Keith had come down with the same cold that his Uncle Wayne had the week before, meaning you had to work a double.

It was now Friday, over a week since you’d written your name in the most stubborn permanent marker he’d ever come across. Your name still stained his skin in a faint and ugly shade of pea green. Eddie could now say your number by memory, despite never having punched in the digits once. If anyone at school had noticed that Eddie ‘the Freak’ Munson had a girl's name on his arm, they didn’t say anything.

“Whose number is that?” Mike asked in the middle of a time out while Zach and Gareth were pouring over the rule book over the legality of a move that Eddie was sure was bullshit. So much for that.

Eddie’s head snapped over to the freshman while those in Corroded Coffin snickered and suddenly lost interest in the rules for the moment. With the candles and stage lights on, it was always warm in the Hellfire room, and Eddie had stripped his jacket giving his arms a chance to breathe while he guided the party on their next adventure.

It had also meant that the faded remains of your number was still visible, which he hadn’t thought much of until Mike had pointed it out.

“Yeah, Eddie, whose number is it?” Jeff snickered, which earned a hard look from Eddie that under any other circumstances would have shut Jeff up but in this case only made him laugh harder.

For a moment he debated internally about putting his jacket on, and telling them all to shove it. It was tempting, very tempting, but Eddie wasn’t a teen anymore. Hell, he had a good two to three years on most of the members in this club. Why should he be embarrassed because a cute girl had some sort of interest in him?

Because you’re blowing it by not being able to call her. He told himself.

Eddie then told the table about how you’d given him your number right before he dropped you off. How you’d been a perfect gentleman and hadn’t taken advantage of him or made any untowards moves to him. (Even if he had thought you almost did, but he kept that part to himself).

To his surprise, the ribbing was kept to a minimal. Without Eddie fighting against it, the group became less interested. Eddie’s love life was only of interest when it meant that the sheep could finally have some fun with the shepard.

That was going to be the end of it. Jeff had conceded that the rule they were looking up had been an old house rule from his middle school group that he had never questioned as not actually being accurate, and they were ready to move on. Eddie opened his mouth to guide the party to the next encounter-

“I thought you said you weren’t interested in her.” Dustin suddenly said. Eddie had thought that the shrimp had been suspiciously quiet for the past few minutes.

“If that was him not interested then I’m quitting Hellfire to be a cheerleader.” laughed Gareth.

“No one wants to see you in a miniskirt, man.” said Mike.

“They have guy cheerleaders!” protested Gareth. “I’d wear the pants.”

“That’d be a first.” ribbed Zack.

“Don’t you have to be crazy strong to be a cheerleader? Gareth, your strength stat sucks.”

“I haul my own drumset every week!”

“Can we get back to the game?”

“Eddie,” Dustin spoke up again. His brows were furrowed and he was messing with his pencil, the same way he did when someone in the party was about to do something that didn’t make any sense. “You did say you weren’t interested.”

So much for Eddie’s love life being of no interest, he now had a herd of sheep looking at him expectantly, no longer talking about Gareth possibly changing after school activities. He should ignore it, get everyone back on track, and lead them back into the Forbidden Caves where he was not tempted to throw a mimic in for messing with the flow of the game.

He should... but Dustin’s comment bugged him for some reason.

“I never said that.” Eddie said, looking at the kid.

“What? Yeah you did!” Dustin looked as shocked as Eddie felt. When had he ever said he wasn’t interested in you?

“Oh yeah, when?” Eddie crossed his arms and leaned back in his throne, his eyes narrowing.

“At the arcade!” Dustin sounded frustrated. “You told me that you didn’t want me introducing you to anyone when we were doing Hellfire related shit, and that you weren’t interested anyway.”

The warmth from the candles and stage lights were nothing compared to the heat of everyone’s eyes on him. What the fuck was Henderson even talking about?

Oh. Oh what the fuck?!

“Excuse me?” Eddie said slowly as that thirty second conversation started to play in his mind.

“Yeah, I remember that.” Mike added, in an attempt to back up his friend. “We just assumed she wasn’t your type.”

Eddie hadn’t been looking to be anyone’s boyfriend. He was never looking to be dating anyone, the few times he’d found himself in the good graces of a girl who’d shown interest in him it had always blown up in his face.

That had never stopped him from trying though.

“Are- wait. Back up.” Eddie stood up and made his way over to the opposite end of the table where the freshmen were suddenly looking very nervous. He grabbed them by the shoulders, as he’d done so many times in the past and hauled them up while the rest of the table watched on in amusement. Normally, Eddie would never pause the game but, fuck it. This kid had something to do with you, and he was going to figure out what.

“Jesus, Eddie-” Mike said, wincing at the grip. “I don’t have anything to do with this, it was all Dustin and Steve!”

This was getting more and more confusing by the moment. Eddie shoved the two boys to face them, leaning over them. Even with Mike’s growth spurt over the past few months, somehow Eddie still seemed to tower over them.

“Steve?” Eddie’s voice was slow, trying to understand why that name was even being spoken in the private sanctuary away from jocks.

“Yes, Steve! They’re like, best friends or something! Ask Dustin!” Mike said, throwing his friend under the bus.

“What’s the big deal?!” Dustin asked, looking between Mike and Eddie with a look of bewilderment.

“Henderson, you have thirty seconds to explain what the actual Hell is going on before your character becomes Quasit food.” Eddie said, releasing his grip on both of the freshmen.

“Okay, okay!” Dustin held his hand up in surrender, looking nervous as everyone watched the scene unfold. “So, you know how her and Steve work together? Well, they had a deal going on where they’d help get each other dates.”

Eddie’s head tilted down slightly, but his eyes stayed firmly focused on Dustin. This was making less and less sense by the minute. Steve needed help getting dates? King Steve of Hawkins High who had the pick of any girl in school before he graduated? That Steve Harrington couldn’t get a date and so had recruited you into helping him?

And you, you with the everything about you couldn’t get a date either? Hadn’t you mentioned something about that before, at the Hideout?

“I help him and he uh... he helps me get out of the house.”

You’d said that, and he hadn’t thought much of it until now. All this time, Eddie had thought the arcade incident had been Dustin trying to have his two older male friends meet and be friends, but it had been you that he was supposed to meet?

“So you’re telling me that you, Dustin Henderson and Steve Harrington were trying to set me up on a date?” Eddie looked over at the rest of the table that looked just as bewildered as he did. This was a prank, right? He’d been tossed into some sort of alternate dimension where a freshman and a jock had any sort of interest in his love life, in any part of his life. He’d sooner believe that he’d run a drug deal with Chrissy Cunningham than this.

“Well, technically we were trying to set her up on a date and you seemed like a good fit?” Dustin’s answer came out as more of a question, leaving Eddie’s mind reeling. Behind him, he could hear the growing snickers of the party.

Eddie was ready for this to start making sense any time now.

“So she was helping Steve get dates and he wanted to set her up with me?” Nope, even after thinking it a half dozen times it still wasn’t clicking.

“That part was my idea actually!” Dustin said, showing off a smile filled with metal. “She’s pretty weird and Steve said she was picky-”

“Can’t be that picky if she was interested in Eddie.” muttered Gareth, earning another round of laughter at the table.

Eddie didn’t even have it in him to shoot another look at the table as he continued to try and piece together what was going on.

You and Steve had a deal to try and get each other dates. You were picky and so Dustin suggested Eddie. Steve then brought you to the arcade to force a meeting and-

“Wait, did she know that she was supposed to meet me?” Eddie asked suddenly.

“Oh yeah, she knew the whole time in the arcade.” Dustin nodded, hoping that Eddie wasn’t about to blow a fuse over this. “Well, she figured it out at least. See she was just supposed to be tagging along with Steve to find guys to flirt with but then uh... she realized she was supposed to meet you.”

“And she didn’t know who I was?” Eddie clarified, thinking back to the way you’d tried to talk to him about Hellfire, Chris Morrison, anything to try and start a conversation. How the hell was it that he could remember every time you two met so clearly, but you didn’t know who he actually was?

Because it wasn’t about you, Eddie. He had to remind himself.

Dustin shrugged. “I guess not? She’s never mentioned you before that night.”

Guess not everyone paid attention to the Freak. He hated that it bugged him that you didn’t remember him but could he blame you? He probably wouldn’t remember him either, just a Munson fuck up who everyone was waiting to end up dead in a ditch somewhere.

Eddie pushed Dustin back down into his seat, done interrogating the poor freshman. Everyone watched as he made his way back to his side of the table, behind the DM screen. He had a lot to think about, but he wasn’t about to start processing that in front of the rest of Hellfire.

“You all wander deeper into the cave, the only light coming from the torch carried by-”

“I have dark vision!”

Broke and bored, Eddie haunted the trailer for the rest of the weekend. He did have practice with Corroded Coffin for a generous two hours on Saturday, and then a long shift that night at the Hideout where one old drunk had slipped him a $10 tip for making sure he always had a cold beer in hand. But those few hours were just a minor reprieve from the information that Dustin had given him the previous day.

When he wasn’t distracted by work or practice he was practicing guitar, working on lyrics, prepping for the next Hellfire session.

He tried to think about you, but ended up feeling confused. When he was trying to think about anything else, all he could see was the way you had flirted with him at the Hideout.

Despite popular opinion, Eddie wasn’t stupid when it came to girls. He could tell when a girl was interested in him, and you had made it clear that you had at least some interest in him. You had told him point blank that you were not with Harrington, and had no interest as well. He’d seen the way you looked at him while watching them play, that excitement in your eyes. Your head had bobbed to the rhythm of their songs watching them with as much enthusiasm as if you’d been a fan for years.

Paige had watched with similar eyes, right? She’d seen something in them that no one else had before-

No. Not them. Not Corroded Coffin. Just Eddie.

It felt pathetic that he kept comparing you to Paige. He didn’t want to, he really didn’t want to. It wasn’t like he was still hung up on Paige, not really. She’d just been a turning point in who he was as a person. She’d been the first (and last) girl to really look at him as a person. If his dating prospects had been small before, they had completely dried up over the past two years.

Date the freak? Yeah, right. There had been the odd girl who’d hit on him as if daring themselves to get with him but he was done with that. A few mediocre dates that he’d agreed to out of boredom or loneliness had only added to the idea in Hawkins High that he was undesirable. Adding to that, the older he got, the younger his underclassmen became and the idea of dating someone younger was... well he didn’t need to add ‘creep’ to the long list of rumors about him. It didn’t matter to him most of the time, instead focusing on his friends, his band, his club, his business, himself. God knows he’d never be able to hold down a relationship unless he got his shit together and earned everyone’s trust again.

“Graduate and get laid, Munson.” Ronnie’s voice echoed in the back of his mind and he groaned as his face warmed. It was the middle of the week, just over two weeks since the night at the Hideout. Eddie was laying on the old couch face down, his homework on the counter half finished and the blue glow of the tv doing little to distract him.

The sound of the door opening didn’t even phase him enough to look up, even as Wayne grunted out a hello before setting something down on the counter next to his forgotten schoolbooks.

“Did you eat?” Wayne asked, which earned a shrug from Eddie. How could he think about eating when he was stuck thinking about everything else?

“Are you gonna tell me why you’ve been moping around for the past few weeks?” Wayne tried again in an attempt to be a good guardian. When that didn’t work either he sighed and said “Might as well step outside with me and have a smoke.”

It was better than doing whatever the hell else Eddie was doing now, and so he rolled off the couch less than gracefully and followed his uncle out onto the porch to sit on the outdoor couch. Wayne offered him the smoke and for a moment it was peaceful. Wayne wasn’t one to push Eddie to talk about anything, but he did have a way to make him think even if it did piss him off occasionally.

Eddie took a long drag of the cigarette and released it slowly as he stared up at the sky. It was a dark night, a million tiny dots illuminating the trailer park, even if the moon wasn’t out. He scanned the stars, looking for the three that he knew were Orion’s belt. That’s about where his astrology knowledge began and ended, but it was something to look for at least.

“I think a girl likes me.” He finally said as he spotted what he assumed was the constellation he was looking for.

“Yeah?” Wayne asked, his own eyes gazing upwards as well, giving Eddie the space to talk more.

“Yeah.”

It was silent again for a few minutes as they smoked, the only other sound for a while was that of Wayne cracking open a beer. That’s what Eddie appreciated about Wayne, he didn’t need to fill the silence like his dad did, and Eddie didn’t need to either. He could just... exist.

“I don’t know what to do about it.” Eddie finally said a while later. “She only has an interest because her and some jock are trying to get each other dates.”

“Is that right?” Coming from anyone else that question would have been dismissive, a filler phrase to show that they were paying minimal attention. Eddie knew better though, which caused a knot of frustration in his gut.

“I guess.” he shrugged.

“How many dates has she gone on?” Wayne passed the beer to Eddie, who took a grateful sip.

“Don’t know. It didn’t sound like she’d been on many. Henderson said she’s picky.”

“But she likes you.”

“Yeah.”

Another long stretch of silence as Eddie stewed over the question. He hated how Wayne could break down his problems into simple questions.

“Don’t see why you’re moping around if she likes you.” Wayne glanced over at Eddie. “Are you sweet on her?”

Eddie snorted at the term, taking another drag from the cigarette and flicking the ashes off the porch. “She’s cute.” he said, thinking about how you’d looked the last few times he’d seen you. He might have been distracted that first night at the arcade, but not so distracted that he didn’t notice that at least. “Smart too. She got the guys to listen to her last time we hung out.”

Wayne raised an eyebrow. “She got Gareth to pay attention? That’s a damn miracle.”

“They liked her too.”

“More than the California girl?”

The question caught Eddie off guard and he looked up at Wayne who was still looking off in the distance. Eddie had never explained exactly to Wayne what had happened that first senior year, most of the details going to what happened with Al when Officer Morris was shot. They never talked about how Eddie was so damn close to packing everything up and running away to California.

Thinking about everything that happened that year still stung. Eddie had tried hard not to think about what could have been if CJ and Toby had just shown up one or two days later. Would Eddie have made it to the audition? Would they have really liked him? Maybe in another life he’d be signed and he’d be working on an album or on tour and him and Paige...

It didn’t matter, that ship had long since sailed. Eddie was no rock hero, and never would be. He tried to tell himself it was better this way, if anything it meant that his relationship with Al was over and done with which was a hollow victory if he was being honest.

“Definitely more than her.” Eddie finally agreed. You weren’t asking him to ditch the band and run away with you, so that had to give you some points for them, and for him. Dustin vouched for you, and even Mike, but he wasn’t sure how much that counted for yet. After all Dustin still seemed to worship Steve, and you were friends with Steve-

But did that actually matter? If you and Steve were close enough friends to help each other like this, and Steve was willing to vouch for Eddie, despite never having any real conversation just because Dustin said something-

“She gonna ask you to run away?” Wayne was now looking at Eddie again.

Sometimes he wondered if his uncle could secretly read minds.

“Doubt it.” Eddie said, “She works at the video store. I don’t know much about her, honestly.”

“So ask her on a date.”

“What?”

“She likes you, you want to get to know her. Ask her on a date. It’s not that complicated, Eddie.” Wayne dropped the cigarette on the porch and crushed it under his boot. “You always did think too much, always sucked up in your own world. You’ll be happier in the long run if you open up a bit.”

Easier said than done for a 20 year old still in high school that the whole town considered a satanic cult leader. Then again, when was the last time he’d really opened up to anyone other than Ronnie or Wayne? Right, his dad in the weeks before the heist.

“I think I fucked this up before I could even start.” Eddie sighed, snuffing out his own half finished cigarette. “She gave me her number and I never called.”

“Could’a grabbed a quarter from the change jar and used a pay phone.”

Eddie pressed his hands against his face and dragged them down slowly. Why did good advice always come too late for him?

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing I brought back a new phone for the kitchen today.”

Eddie’s head snapped up so fast he should have snapped something, his eyes widening.

“Don’t get too excited. It’s a new used phone. Guy down the line from me offered it up and it’s better than nothing.”

Eddie didn’t care if it was a rotary phone, he’d take anything at this point if it meant that he could try to call you.

He wanted to call you.

He wanted to call you. Eddie didn’t care if you remembered that first time you met, did it even really matter? You had an interest in him, Eddie Munson, now.

“Thanks, Wayne.” Eddie stood up and hurried inside, seeing the new old phone that was sitting on the counter. It took a few minutes of making sure it wouldn’t fall off the wall before he plugged it in and heard that sweet dial tone sound.

Eddie grabbed his copy of Lord of the Rings from his bedside table and pulled out the paper flower, looking at the number scribbled in his own chicken scratch. He didn’t trust himself to punch in the number without checking, no matter how many times he read the ten digits over the past two weeks.

It rang once.

Twice.

Six times.

No response.

“It’s late, she might be asleep.” Wayne said, grabbing a box of pasta from the cabinet.

It wasn’t that late, not even 8:30 yet. Eddie sighed and hung up the phone, crossing his arms as he thought about his next move. He’d always had tunnel vision when he got an idea into his head, from Corroded Coffin, to his campaigns, to a book that he wanted to read, it was hard to shake the urge when he got one.

Grabbing the keys from the counter he called over to Wayne “I’ll be back later.” which was responded to with a confirmation that he’d save some pasta for Eddie in the fridge.

There weren’t many places he could think of where you could be tonight. You hadn’t shown back up at the Hideout, and the arcade was closed this late on a weeknight. You could be at home, but Eddie didn’t remember where you lived and showing up to your place after two weeks of radio silence would definitely get him in trouble.

So he drove to Family Video.

If you were there he’d do.. something. If you weren’t he’d call you after school tomorrow. Eddie winced internally at the thought. He’d been trudging through school and dragging his feet for the past six years to graduate, and now was the time he felt childish about it. You could legally buy him a beer, and he could illegally sneak you a drink in the Hideout.

At a stoplight he swapped out the Black Sabbath tape for W.A.S.P., remembering that you had mentioned liking them. How did he continue to remember these small details about you?

Because she’s treated you like a human each time you’ve talked. It was startling how something so basic was such a big deal to him.

The lights were still on at Family Video, and the open sign was still lit up. He could see movement inside the store, and he caught sight of someone wearing the signature green vest that the employees wore.

He’d walk in, and if you were there he’d- fuck what the hell was he supposed to do? Eddie stared at the door from inside his van for a few minutes. It was past nine now, and he could have sworn that they should be closed now but that stupid sign was still on. That had to be a good sign right? Eddie wasn’t one to believe in stuff like that but maybe he’d be stupid to ignore a literal neon sign hanging in the door.

Okay, now or never. Eddie had never really been one to hesitate before and he wasn’t about to start now.

He made his way to the entrance and opened the door before he could think about what he was actually wanting to do. Eddie could improvise, it was one of the more useful skills that came from years of running Hellfire.

“Who didn’t lock the door?!” Your voice was a welcome sound, sealing the determination inside of him. No going back now.

“It was Steve’s job to-” your co-worker said. She looked familiar, but he couldn’t place a name to the face.

“Oh, shit. Hi.” Steve was the first to actually notice Eddie as he walked in, looking as if he was expecting literally anyone else.

Turning on the Freak, Eddie smirked at Steve. “Cursing in front of customers, Harrington? Now that’s not very professional of you.”

“Well, we’re closed. You can’t be a customer if you can’t pay.” Steve said, putting his hands on his hips in a way that reminded Eddie of a mother hen. Steve did have a point, and so he decided to cut through any bullshit and looked over at you. You looked like you’d had a long shift, but the way you were looking at him... there was still the same shock that was on Steve’s face, but while his shock was laced with confusion yours was excited. As if you couldn’t believe that The Freak was here and that was a good thing.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Eddie blurted out the request before he could think. He had no idea where you two would go or what you would do but he had to do something.

Your coworker nudged you in the ribs, and your expression changed to a more professional one.

“I- uh. I have to finish closing.” you said, looking at Steve for a split second.

“Steve and I can handle the rest of closing!” Eddie made a mental note to learn this girls name and send her a fucking gift basket one day.

“Guys, I’m literally in charge of you both. I can’t leave before you.” You said, reaching down to grab something from below the counter- your bag. Eddie felt himself growing more excited, his heart pounding as you tossed your work vest and keys over to them. They were basically shoving you out the door to spend time with him.

“We can handle it!” Steve said.

“And I can handle Steve!” Robin added. “We close without you and Keith all the time, remember?”

You stepped out from behind the counter, looking up at him. The color of your eyes under the fluorescent lights reminded him of the stars he had been looking at earlier this evening. Eddie found himself smiling at you as you opened the door for him.

Someone was quick to lock the door and turn the OPEN sign off.

Eddie opens his van door for you, trying his best to make a good impression for whatever was about to happen. You hopped into the passenger seat and he thought that he might enjoy seeing you sitting next to him like this in his van more often.

---

Next Chapter

Comments and Reblogs help feed the fandom and the muse 💜

Dividers by @strangergraphics

Tag list: @k8loo @terrormonster55 @sp1dyb0y1008 @crocwork-clockodile @ali-r3n @mxcheese @josephquinnschesthair @gagasbee @peaches-roses-sins @witchwolflea @vintagehellfire @royale1803 @cumslutforaemond @prestinalove @browneyedgirly93 @perpetualmess @thebook-hobbit @mistonk @cultish-corner @grishaversecaptivated @sortagaysortahigh @halialex1119 @bakugouswhOr3 @siriuslysmoking @pookiesnatcher

[lavendertom]

The Neighbor Across the Street pt. 5

Mike Schmidt x Babysitter!f!Reader

part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 6

wc: 3.6k

warnings: angst, little bit sad (if y’all can stick thru this ONE part 🫶), fluff sprinkled in some parts (as always, lmk if there’s anything i’ve missed)

summary: the neighbor across the street needs a babysitter, so you take the job, not knowing what’s in store for you as you grow closer to the siblings. AU where nothing bad ever happens at the pizzeria.

A/N: this is gonna be the “hard” chapter, but it’ll all be worth it for part 6, the official finale of the series 🥹 no worries tho, i still plan on expanding the story once it’s over!!!

——————————————————————————

You could barely focus in any of your classes today. Your mind was full of thoughts about one person and one person only: Mike. All of the things that happened in such a short amount of time were eating you alive. You couldn’t take any of it anymore. In a way, you wished Abby hadn’t told you about her secret. You didn’t want something as silly as a “crush” to get in the way of your goal of keeping Abby and Mike happy.

As you drove home from your classes, you didn’t know what to expect that evening. You knew he probably wanted to clear up whatever had happened the other evening. Maybe he just wanted to tell you he was sorry for not paying you again. But then why did he want you there an hour early? What on earth could he want to talk about for a whole hour with you?

You only ever had two serious conversations with him in the two months or so of knowing him, the one the first night shift of babysitting Abby and during your walk with him just a few days ago.

There was that voice, all the way at the back of your head, that was telling you something completely different. There was a voice that was saying this had to do with Abby’s secret. You attempted to quickly get it out of your head, your hands getting sweaty at the thought as you continued driving home. You hated to admit this was making you more nervous than it should’ve been.

The thought of him waiting at his door until you got home crept into your head once more. The way he saw how you looked back one last time like you’d done every time before. How often did he wait at the door like that? Did he genuinely care about you that much to wait?

When you got home you had an hour until you knew you’d have to be at Mike’s house. Of course today was one of those days where your professors just knew you were having an off day and assigned what felt like 10x more work than usual. You hesitantly took out all of your textbooks and notebooks in an attempt to knock out a few assignments before you left.

As you sat down, something hanging on the headboard of your bed caught your attention. The black hoodie Mike had lent you was there. You truly intended on giving it back to him yesterday since you’d accidentally wore it home the other night. Whether you forgot it by chance or on purpose you couldn’t even remember anymore.

It sat there like a painful reminder of not knowing what was to come later. He said it wasn’t anything bad, but maybe he just didn’t want to stress you out. What if he had to quit the night job, therefore leaving you jobless? You didn’t want to leave them hanging. You didn’t care if you were getting paid consistently or not. You just wanted to be there for them. That was all that mattered to you now.

You continued to sit there, looking at the hoodie, thoughts racing through your mind with no signs of stopping. The textbooks and notebooks all over your desk were never opened, you didn’t have the energy now at least. Not when your leg wouldn’t stop bouncing and stomach was twisted into knots. You kept telling yourself “It’s just your imagination, everything is fine. Everything will be okay.” It was already almost time for you to go, so you threw all the books back into your bag, grabbed the hoodie, and made your way over.

The feelings were mutual back at Mike’s house. Mike wasn’t sure why he felt so anxious about having to talk to you. It really wasn’t a big deal at all. He just wanted to clear up last night and, well, some other things too. He was just as scared of the unknown as you were. The kitchen smelled like pasta cooking as he tried his best to distract himself by making Abby’s dinner. Just incase the conversation went really bad and you didn’t want to stay. Not that he was anticipating that it would go badly.

He stirred the spaghetti as the water bubbled, focusing as best he could on everything but his thoughts.

“Mike why are you making dinner tonight?” Abby interrupted standing by the fridge.

“Thought I’d give Y/n a break for one night.” he said, still looking down at the pot of boiling water.

“She makes it so much better than you do though.” Abby started whining.

“Beggars can’t be choosers Abs.” he said with a sigh.

“What does that mean?” Abby said with a confused tone to her voice.

“Life’s not fair, that’s what it means. You either eat my pasta or nothing.”

He could practically hear the girl roll her eyes in response.

“Well, I’m not hungry right now.”

Now she’s just being a smart ass, Mike thought to himself.

“Good thing Y/n can warm it up for you later when I’m gone.”

“I don’t want to eat it later though. It’s gonna be gross later.” she crossed her arms now, she knew what she was doing.

“Well you’re either gonna eat it now, later, or never. This is what you’re getting for dinner.” Mike was getting more impatient with her sudden attitude.

“Your pasta is gross Mike I’m not eating it.”

“Whatever. I don’t care anymore, don’t eat it.” Way to ruin this evening Abby.

“Why do you have to be so-“

“Abby, just stop! I’m not having this today. Go to your room.” he didn’t realize how much he rose his voice at her. Arguing wasn’t uncommon for them, but he rarely, if ever, rose his voice this much at her. He looked back at her, the young girls eyes were welling with small tears. This evening already wasn’t going as planned and Y/n hadn’t even arrived yet.

“I hate you Mike!” Abby shouted before running to her room, slamming the door shut.

Mike took a deep breath, putting a hand over his face. Why did he always have to mess everything up? He should’ve never asked Y/n to come over early. If he hadn’t asked, then this situation would’ve never happened. He should’ve just let the situation go. He looked back at the pot of spaghetti, the water still bubbling, finally deciding to shut off the stove.

He looked at the landline phone hanging on the wall beside the fridge. It was almost calling his name to pick it up, dial your number, and tell you not to come by anymore. He stepped forward reaching out a hand to pick up the phone. Just before he could start dialing the numbers he heard a door slowly and quietly open.

He looked at the clock on the stove, quickly realizing what time it was. There was no escaping the situation now, for either of you. He walked out of the kitchen, now in the dining room as he watched you shut the door and set down your backpack.

“Hey.” you said in almost a whisper, your usual smile on your face to hide the nervousness that still lurked deep down.

Just like that, time felt slower than ever before for Mike. Honestly, every time he saw you it began feeling more and more like that. It wasn’t like you tried to dress to impress or anything like that. The only times you had a remotely “nice” outfit on were the first few days of babysitting and extremely occasionally after that. Even then, it was nothing more than a pair of jeans and a somewhat nicer t-shirt or sweater.

Your hair was in a low messy ponytail, loose strands of hair falling out of the scrunchie. You wore a t-shirt with your college’s name plastered across the front and extremely baggy black sweatpants. This was a look that was all too familiar to Mike. The days you wore outfits like this were days that school was beating your ass. Those were the days he’d come home and find you still finishing up work at the dinning room table far too late in the night.

The way that an outfit so simple and, for lack of better terms, lazy, could make Mike feel this way felt like a crime to him. He was convinced that any other outfit imaginable would not compare to this. There was no way to explain this, but this just felt different to him.

Maybe it was because of your determination and drive for success. It was something he didn’t see in himself. Maybe he envied that you had that in you and he didn’t. He saw how hard school was. He saw that no matter how hard it got, you were still there on time every time. He wished so much he had that level dedication in him.

That’s when his eyes turned to your hand. It was holding the black hoodie he let you borrow when you stayed for s’mores. He had honestly forgotten he even gave you it, but now he was wondering why you’d brought it back. He really didn’t mind if you’d kept it. Now thinking about it, he wanted you to keep it.

“You didn’t have to make dinner Mike, you know I’ve got it.” your voice, still quiet making sure Abby wouldn’t hear your presence, broke the thoughts in Mikes head and brought him back to reality.

“Yeah, um, about that…” he began, sighing heavily.

“We need to talk.” you immediately noticed the tension that was now forming.

“Yeah.” he pulled a chair out of the dining table for you, and you both quietly sat down.

You both sat in silence for a minute or so. You waited for him to start talking and you were going to give him as long as he needed to gather his thoughts. You focused on the salt and pepper shakers in the middle of the table.

“I’m sorry.” he finally spoke up.

“Why are you sor-“

“Let me explain before you try telling me I have nothing to be sorry about.” he interrupted, his volume significantly louder than before.

You didn’t say anything back, you were ready to let him say whatever he needed to say because clearly he needed it.

“It’s just-“ he paused again, putting his face into his hands. He took a deep breath attempting to gather his thoughts and emotions before he spoke again. He wasn’t going to let them ruin this conversation.

“I don’t deserve you, Y/n.” you finally looked up. Those incredible brown eyes met yours. They almost appeared to have tears forming in them.

“You do so much for us Y/n. You’re here on time every day, no matter how much you had going on during the day. You’re always willing to do literally anything with Abby. All of the dumb things I’ve said no to her about, you’ve said yes. You’re the mother figure she never had. She doesn’t act the same way around me as she does with you. She deserves this so much more than I do. She needs you, Y/n. I don’t deserve any of this. I can rarely pay you on time. I’m putting you in this horrendous situation where you go to class every day, then you come home for 2 hours max and babysit for the entire night. You’re working literally 2 jobs and you didn’t even want this. I accidentally threw you into it, you should’ve just not taken it. It’s not fair. And yesterday when I stormed out without explaining anything, that wasn’t fair either.”

“Mike-“

“You deserve more Y/n. You deserve the world. You have so much motivation and determination in you it’s actually insane. You’re always smiling, always trying to be kind and helpful. You put others before yourself. I just feel that someone like me, the complete opposite of you, doesn’t deserve to have you in my life. I have not even an ounce of dedication or care inside of me. You don’t deserve to have to put up with all my crap. You just don’t Y/n.” he stopped, still looking you in the eyes.

You really wanted to break down and sob. How could he think he’s worth nothing? How does he not see all the effort and care he puts into taking care of Abby? He’s trying a whole lot harder than other people who have half the worries in life that he has.

“How long have you felt this way?” you said quietly, you knew if you spoke any louder than a whisper you’d start crying.

“Since the moment you first came by to try out the job.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” small, but noticeable tears were now falling down your face. “You’ve felt this way for almost 2 months and you didn’t say a word?”

“Y/n, please don’t-“

“What do you mean ‘please don’t?’ How am I supposed to brush past this knowing you’ve felt like this for 2 months now?” You wiped the tears off of your face.

Mike was now looking down at the table, avoiding your face at all costs. He knew if he saw you that way, it would be over for him. It was never his intention to make you feel this way, he knew you would care, but he didn’t think you’d care this much.

“Mike, look at me right now.”

His eyes hesitantly met yours. Your heart was beating so fast you could hear it in your head.

“You are the most thoughtful, caring, most determined person I’ve ever met. You sacrifice so so much for Abby and you don’t even realize it. When I talk to Abby, I hear all about a big brother who pours his heart out just for her to be happy. She is so incredibly lucky to have someone who dedicates so much of his time and energy just to make her happy. You didn’t ask for this and I know you’ve been through hell and back, but you do everything for that girl. No matter how much you think she doesn’t see it, you are genuinely her whole world. I have never, ever, met someone so caring in my life. You don’t have to do any of it, yet you are so selfless that you do it.”

“Then why does she hate me? Why does she always say so much about how great you are and how much she loves your cooking more than mine? Why are we always arguing over the stupidest things?”

“That’s what siblings are for Mike.” you said with an airy laugh through your tears. “After I came over to hearing your argument I went to talk to Abby. She said how she thought you hated her, how you’re always working and never do stuff with her anymore. I told her to look at all of the amazing things you do for her, all of the toys and art supplies she is lucky enough to have. I asked her who gets her all of these things. Who works their ass off for her to have the greatest childhood ever? You do, Mike. She just doesn’t know how to put that into words or actions. We’re gonna work on that though, okay?” you reached across the table to grab his hands and held them in yours.

“You need to give yourself a whole lot more credit. All I want is for you guys to be okay.” you smiled, tears still running down your face. “I just want to help you guys in any way I can. I don’t care how much I get paid or how often I get paid, that doesn’t matter to me anymore Mike. I just want to be there for the two of you.”

After all he said, after his vulnerability showed the underlying jealousy he had for you and your kindness you did it once again. You put others before yourself. He didn’t realize you were not going to give up.

“This is exactly why I don’t deserve you.”

“Quit saying that, you deserve me just as much as Abby does.” you squeezed his hands, reassuringly smiling at him. “You’re not getting rid of me.”

All he really wanted to do in this moment was to get up and kiss you. You believed in Abby, and in him, when you didn’t have to. No one was forcing you to do any of this and to know you were taking it upon yourself from the kindness in your heart made Mike feel even crazier for you. You were one of the first people to show genuine care and love to him and Abby since their parents passed away.

“I love you Y/n.”

Those 4 words came out with no thought, no hesitation, no control. It just felt right.

You were both shocked, yet relieved to hear those words. Your next 4 words didn’t have much thought to them either

“I love you too Mike.” you said, not hesitating either. It didn’t feel forced in the slightest, it felt right for both of you. You honestly couldn’t believe what had just happened and neither could Mike. Neither of you would admit it, but you weren’t even sure what to do next.

“Well it took you guys long enough.” a small voice peeped from behind you.

You turned around to see Abby, standing with her arms crossed, a smug look on her face.

“Abby, how long have you been here?” Mike said, quickly letting go of your hand he still had in his.

“Long enough to hear you and Y/n say you love each other.” she said, smiling wide and giggling. “I am so happy you finally told Y/n you have a crush on her! Or did Y/n tell you she has a crush on you?” her eyes lit up with excitement.

“Well, I wouldn’t necessarily say that’s what happened but-“

“Oh, he definitely was the one who told me first.” you smirked after interrupting.

“But who decided to hold hands first?” he quickly responded, returning you a small smirk.

Your face began burning up as you buried your face in your hands for a moment, but you also couldn’t help but laugh. Leave it up to Abby to be little miss matchmaker. Of course she’d sneak her way in to finally see her hard work come together. Once Mike realized there was no point in hiding anything anymore, he grabbed your left hand again and held it in his. It felt almost freeing, like a weight was lifted off of him in multiple ways, to be able to hold your hand.

“Also, I’m hungry.” she chimed in quickly, with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

You and Mike both looked at each other, knowing that the pasta he attempted to cook was probably off the table now. It was also almost time for Mike to go to work now, which he really didn’t want to do anymore, but there was no other choice.

“I’ll just order you guys a pizza.” he said with a smile, a genuine smile. “Y/n doesn’t need to be cooking for you after this, and I know you won’t eat whatever I can make in 10 minutes Abs.”

Abby began jumping around with pure excitement. Probably a little too excited after just offending Mike’s cooking, but that didn’t matter anymore. As long as she was happy and you were happy, Mike was gonna be happy. He was going to start changing his attitude about everything and he wouldn’t want to do it with anyone else than you. It wasn’t going to be easy, but was gonna try his very best.

“You sure Mike? I don’t mind cooking.” you replied.

“Really Y/n?” he said, sarcastically rolling his eyes.

“Okayyy fineee.” you said holding out the endings extra long, just for dramatic effect.

“Thank you Mike!” the Abby shouted, running up to his chair to give him a hug. Mike smiled at you as the young girl clung onto him.

“Thank you.” he mouthed to you.

You gave him a soft smile in response. You looked down at the black hoodie still in your lap. You brought it in the case he wanted it back, but after the conversation you two just had, there’s a good chance he’d want you to have it. Whether that was his original intention for you to keep it or not, you decided you would keep it. A constant reminder of who you were doing this for. Taking this job, you didn’t know what you were getting yourself in to. You also didn’t know why you were so nervous for this conversation. It couldn’t have gone any better. You were ready to go through whatever hardships and challenges you had to for your two favorite neighbors.

——————————————————————————

A/N: get ready for part 6 hopefully before thanksgiving 🥳🫶 also trust i see all of ur comments and i wish i could reply to ALLL of them, but i don’t wanna flood the comments! sending each and every one of u and virtual hug rn and love! 🫂 if anyone wants a little preview of what’s to come, check out of my first work my favorite prize, those r the vibes i am going for in part 6 🤗

jules jewels (tag list! lmk if u want to be added or removed 🤗)

@balesita @universi8 @browneyedgirly93 @marsmallow433 @prongsprincessworld @ajlareads @k3nnlolz @louweasleymalfoy @chompwoman @wasabidottie @queenie-official @emmaishere432 @curasimp @nevvdrinksteaa @rcailleachcola @scribblesandsherlock @iheartyouyou @prosteticsynthesis @novausstuff @dessxoxsworld @1-akira-2 @starringo @planetevermore @cherriebat @mxrvelouss

[foreverisntenough]

‘OURS’

Summary: You were his and he was yours but what would it be like adding one more? Thrust into a whirlwind romance you never could’ve imagined that became your forever love. You continue building a new life across the pond with a very beautiful Scouser. A sequel to the ‘You’re Mine’ fic.

Index:

Chapter 1 - Size of A Plum

Chapter 2 - With a ‘U’ or an ‘O’

Chapter 3 - Auntie Laur and A Very Drunk Boy

Chapter 4 - Baby Dior

Chapter 5 - His Treble

Warnings: This series will contain fluff, suggestion, smut (unprotected sex,) pregnancy, mention of the word ‘daddy,’ kind of angsty, alcohol consumption - not sure what else really… if i miss anything please lmk!

Note: Thank you for reading! Please be sure to like, comment, or message me what you think of the series! Try not to nitpick with any real pregnant logistics it’s better if you just read along happily :)

Chapter 6 - Teddy Bear | ‘Ours’

Your due date was fast approaching. It was getting scarily real, in fact. The past couple days had been… difficult. Since the scare at the hospital Trent had been tiptoeing around treating you like a piece of glass. He was being so helpful preparing for your baby girl but you were stressed because he had two away matches back to back and he couldn’t really do anything about that. Your three year anniversary was this week too. You felt a lot of pressure to be ready for that date and for your baby. Trent told you not to worry about the anniversary but you didn’t like that idea because you knew he would most definitely do something for it. It was just so overwhelming to manage anything outside of just looking after your body lately. You actually hadn’t been to a home game of Trent’s yet this season because it was just so taxing. It was hard for you to sit up and down, you hated all the attention on you, the stress of the games was not helping you any. Maybe you were being a little over dramatic but it was a lot to go to Anfield let alone an away match. It was all too much so he told you it was better for you to watch from the comfort of home. You were roughly due in about a week or so at this point. Your parents and Winnie were coming in a few days so they’d be at your house soon as well. Trent had left yesterday to travel to Leicester for a match. So once again, you had opted to stay home for his match and watch the clash at your place with Marcel. Between your anniversary, your family coming, Trent’s game, and your baby you felt like you were going to explode both mentally and physically.

“Sorry to be a pain, Marce, can you help me get up?” You giggled and looked at him for some assistance. Your once very comfortable couch had really become a pain in the ass for you. The cushions were so deeply set it was hard to get yourself up on your own.

“Yeah, course.” He stood up and held both your hands to pull you up. Marcel was a saving grace when Trent wasn’t around. You felt a little bad that his friend, i.e. you; had become a pregnant woman he had to stay home with and help get off the couch as opposed to your previously very fun nights at Anfield drinking. You walked about halfway to the kitchen before the worst pain you ever felt ran through you. You were terrified it was another episode of what happened the other week when you were rushed to hospital. That was until you felt a pop sensation and water hit the wooden floor.

“Marce…. “ you yelped. He just hummed barely acknowledging you, keeping his attention on the match. “No, seriously… Marce.” You whined. The sudden pain had you bending over. He turned his head towards you and saw you wincing in pain.

“Fuck” he jumped up from the couch. He ran over to you. “Wait… wait what the fuck do I do?” His eyes widened in panic as he rushed over. Your water had broken.

“Marce… I can’t exactly wait can I? I need you to take me to hospital.” You were trying to slow your breathing. You were attempting to remain calm but seeing the younger boy in front of you absolutely shell shocked was not helping.

“Well, what do we do about Trent… I’ll call him right?” Marcel babbled asking you questions you didn’t have the mental capacity to answer right now, placing his hand on your back, waking you towards the door. All your preparations for this moment had gone out the window.

“Marce… I don’t know, I've never done this before!! We need to go to hospital now!” He nodded, panicking. He let go of you and ran to grab his keys. You heard him pick them up and then drop them nervously running back over to you muttering to himself. He helped you into the front seat of his car. He was in a full blown panic attack and it definitely was not settling your nerves.

“I don’t know the directions to hospital… hold on” he mumbled out tapping at the dashboard in his car into the maps app.

“Marce… I said it inside I can’t exactly ‘hold on’ right now. Can you just take a deep breath for me because your fucking stressing me out.” You quipped at him. He nodded at you, still focused on getting the GPS to work. He figured it out eventually and got on the motorway. Of course, this happened when you were with him. You had called Trent about 10 times to no avail. He hadn’t answered and he hadn’t responded to any texts either. You took a break calling him to ring Dianne, insisting Marcel try Trent while you spoke with her. You needed to tell someone other than Marcel you were having this baby.

“Di… hi, yeah. Erm…well I’m pretty sure I’m going into labor so…” she gasped you could hear her bobble her phone almost dropping it. “In the panic I forgot the baby bag we packed though. Could you go to our house before… I wasn’t thinking.” You started to get upset at how poorly you felt you managed this unfolding. Tears forming in your eyes. Your breath getting lost somewhere in the car. It didn’t help that your contractions were getting rapidly more intense. “No…no, I haven’t heard from him. He hasn’t picked up.” You explained to her that you hadn’t been able to get in contact with Trent yet. Saying it out loud only heightened the emotions.

“He’ll be there hun. I’ll grab the bag and see you soon. Try to take a breath, it’s all going to be just fine. Tell Marce to relax as well.” She gave you a sympathetic laugh knowing Marcel was probably freaking out, which he was. You appreciated her calm demeanor. You arrived at the hospital still unable to reach Trent. You were sobbing. You couldn’t calm down until the nurses literally made you calm down with a sedative. Trent was out on the pitch whilst all this was happening unknowingly thinking you were happy at home watching him. He came in from warming up and sat down in the dressing room. He began to start preparing his match ready kit when he saw all the missed calls on his phone.

“Oh shit! Fuck!” He yelled, standing up from his locker room stall. He read the 100 messages you sent him all reminding him that you were going to have his baby and you’d like him to be there.

“Where you going mate?!” Andy yelled out as Trent ran out of the dressing room abruptly. He notified someone on the coaching staff and they cleared him to go. Trent was going to leave regardless of the consequences frankly.

“I'm having a baby.” He shouted frantically to Andy while messily throwing his things together and grabbing his bag sprinting faster than he ever had on any pitch before. Thank god the game was only about 2 hours away.

“He’s not here… I can’t believe hes not here. He’s going to miss this” you said, attempting to stifle more cries, squeezing Dianne’s hand in the hospital room for support. “Can you call him again?” You whimpered looking up at her distraught. All you could think of was Trent. You really appreciated Dianne being with you but you wished it was his hand who you were holding. Your contractions were starting to become stronger and closer together when Dianne heard the slaps of slides running down the hallway. A nurse guided Trent, still dressed in his full Liverpool warm ups, into the room towards you. You felt so nauseous but seeing Trent provided momentary comfort.

“Sorry, sorry. I’m here. I got you. You're gonna do great, baby. Hmm?” He cooed, pressing a kiss into your hair, wiping some off your face as the doctor explained what was going to happen to Trent.

“T… I’m so glad you’re here.” You whined as people in the room rushed around. It all felt like a foggy haze and a painfully slow one at that.

“I would never miss this.” He smiled at you, pressing his lips to you again. “I’m so proud of you, Y/N. I love you, baby. I’ll be here the whole time. You’re gonna do so well. You’re so strong, okay? I love you so so much.” he murmured interspersed with more kisses. Well… it was fucking horrible but your were as strong as you could be for your new little family, for your baby girl, for her daddy. When she arrived the world blurred. The only thing that existed in your life was the most beautiful baby girl you’d ever seen. You were almost oblivious to the rest of the process. One hour ago your lives changed forever when Teddy Marie Alexander-Arnold entered the world.

The pain from earlier slipped away leaving you in love with the brand new tiny human laying on your chest. It felt like a dream. She was far too perfect to be real. A little while later Trent watched as the nurses laid her tiny head on him. He whispered to her and started to cry a little looking at how small she was on his chest. Watching it his emotions unfold made you start crying. He laughed with a sniffle seeing you get worked up over it all so he leaned over and pressed his perfect pout your daughter had inherited to your lips with your little girl in between you two. It felt like your very first kiss. Only now, you were parents.

“I can’t believe how perfect she is.” You mumbled quietly watching Teddy have a big yawn back in your arms. You giggled at just how remarkably pretty she was.

“I can, she’s your daughter. Makes sense.” Trent cooed rubbing his nose against your cheek. He said that and you obviously knew she was, hell, you could definitely still feel that she was but she was a carbon copy of Trent. God, just the exact spitting image and you loved every bit of it. During your whole pregnancy you’d have conversations about who’s features you’d want her to have but secretly you wanted just this. She looked identical to him. She only existed for a little over an hour but you could see Trent clearly in her big brown eyes and perfect pout. Tiredly, your little girl looked up at you two, now awake, catching her every movement. It was then when you watched in real time Teddy wrap Trent around her tiny little chubby finger.

“Hell of an anniversary present, huh?” You teased Trent as his eyes filled with love hearts looking at his precious baby girl hold onto his one finger with her whole hand.

“She is the most perfect gift. You could ever give me, one that we created. Thank you so much for carrying our baby girl. Allowing me to do this with you. You’re amazing, baby. You’d think those words would’ve lost there meaning over the last couple hours from the amount of times I said them. I swear they’ve never lost an ounce of their weight, seriously. They have never been more true. I knew you were amazing from the moment I met you on 78th Street. God, you were like super glue on my brain. The second I looked into your eyes that beautiful stare never fucking left. Your strength and resilience never cease to amaze me, Y/N. I know you’re rolling your eyes but you really do inspire me. You inspire me to be a better man, a better person. Some days I'm just amazed you even manage to put up with me. You've amazed me throughout our entire relationship.” Trent ended his monologue with a kiss to your lips. He was going to keep talking until you cut him off.

“T… I can’t cry anymore, please.” You whine with a giggle. He needed to stop talking like that or you’d start bawling. “I love you, baby. We are so lucky we have you.” You looked down at your baby girl with a feeling you’d rarely experienced before. Confidence. You were confident. So sure in the fact that Trent would always take care of you two. “Thank you, T. Really, thank you for being the best source of strength for both of us. You’ve been perfect the whole time. I’ve always said this but your dedication is so incredible and you’ve been incredibly dedicated to building an amazing life for me and her. Thank you for being you. I couldn’t have done this without you. As much as you are my boyfriend, my life partner, my baby’s daddy, it made this all the more special that you’re also my best friend, T.” Trent’s lash line filled with tears. He rested his forehead on yours.

“She’s ours, baby. All mine and yours.” He cooed as you tilted your head up for kiss.

Tyler, Marcel, and Dianne sat in the waiting room ironically impatiently. A TV in the room of the hospital was on SkySports quietly buzzing on about the latest reports happening in the Premier League.

‘Trent Alexander-Arnold has been removed from Liverpool’s line up tonight.’

The TV muffled out the news. All three of them picked their heads up to see the report deducing what possibly could have caused the unforeseen change. They just laughed knowing what Trent was doing was beyond worth missing a match. A nurse came before the segment about Trent ended advising his family they could come and see you. Shortly after, you heard a timid knock on the door. Dianne appeared with Marcel peeking in. They were quiet as you sat beaming on the bed with Trent sitting on its edge both still admiring Teddy.

“Congratulations, my baby boy” Dianne came over and gave Trent a tight hug. “So proud of you. Congratulations, sweetie.” She leaned over and kissed your forehead and you smiled up at her. “Oh my goodness isn’t she just perfection. I feel like I’m having Deja vu. You look just like your daddy, don’t you?” She cooed in a soft voice as Teddy opened and closed her mouth and leaned her tiny head onto your chest more adjusting to the world. Marcel snuck up behind his mum and looked over her shoulder down at the little baby in your arms. He hummed like he was inspecting her and was satisfied.

“Congrats bro.” He turned to dap Trent up and gave him a hug. “She looks so much like you and yet somehow she’s perfect and pretty…” he joked, eliciting a slap on the arm from Trent. Tyler waited towards the door not wanting to crowd you, ever thoughtful. When a little space cleared as everyone settled in he came a little closer with a big bouquet.

“For TAA the 2nd’s mummy.” He tipped the flowers towards you to see them and you smiled as he placed the arrangement on a table beside you. He turned back to you with a more serious, sincere look on his face. “Y/N, I know we give you a hard time usually but jokes aside we’re so happy you’re a part of our family. We all knew Trent was punching” Tyler spoke softly until he was cut off.

“You said jokes aside?” Trent looked at Tyler confused at why he was catching strays. Tyler rolled his eyes and turned back to you.

“Anyways… we’re so glad you’re here. This little girl is so lucky to have you, really. I speak for all of us, we love you so much.” He squeezed your hand. It was hard that your immediate family wasn’t there for this but when it really came down to it, the Alexander-Arnolds were your family, wholeheartedly. Teddy was so lucky she was born into such a loving family. They always looked after you and you knew they would look after her probably even a little bit more.

“Marce, do you want to hold her?” You looked up at him and at first he looked terrified but then he mustered some courage and nodded. You patted the bed with one free hand telling him to sit next to you and so he did. He turned his head and looked at you closely. Tired but glowing.

“I’m really happy for you, Y/N. You mean a lot to me. If this little girl is even a fraction like you, she’ll be an amazing person.” He cooed and your eyes began to water. “Don’t…” he tried to stop you. You carefully handed him Teddy. “You’re never dating anyone, okay?” Marcel teased stroking her cheek with the back of his finger. Tyler and Trent conquered immediately without a second thought. You almost felt bad for anyone that was going to try to date your daughter in the very far away future. As he held her, Marcel fell in love with Teddy and in someway you felt like you could tell she was with him as well. She seemed to be a quiet baby which was fitting for you and Trent but you were only a few hours into her life, that could change.

You FaceTimed your parents and they cried on the phone. They had a flight to see you in a days time. They wanted to come sooner but your birth was unexpectedly expected. They tried their best to get to you and their granddaughter as fast as they could. You told them not to worry because you certainly weren’t letting go of her any time soon. For the foreseeable future she'd be right there in your arms.

You were definitely nervous to leave hospital. To bring your baby girl home and be alone was a pretty scary thing but one thing you were particularly excited for or at least to document was the ‘hot dad walk.’ You were tempted to share it on social media because you knew the girlies would have a field day seeing Trent carry Teddy out but you decided not to because these were just moments for you to share with him and cherish. Although, you definitely were appreciative of how good he looked walking out of the hospital carrying her.

When you walked into the house and opened the front door you saw the most adorable balloons and big teddy bear reading ‘welcome home Teddy girl’ you wanted to cry but you think you may had run out of tears by this point. The amount of flowers in your home was absurd as well. Every person you can imagine sent massive bouquets. Teammates, friends, family from all over. You felt so loved and you were so happy your daughter was coming into the world that way. Trent carried her inside adorably nestled in her seat asleep. She looked so cute in a little white onesie from Dior with pink patterned detailing and a matching hat. You hugged Trent in the foyer, resting your head on his shoulder.

“Welcome home, baby bear.” Trent cooed looking down at her. You smiled watching him admire her. You got settled in the living room needing to sit down asap. Trent’s family was coming over in a little to help out and see more of her but for now it was just the three of you. It had been a long almost 48 hours at this point so they needed to get home as well. Trent gently picked up your sleepy girl and carried her over to sit next to you. The little girl in his arms looked just like her dad, she didn’t even bother to try with your genes. She had his complexion, his eyes, everything and you loved it. Teddy snuggled into Trent finding comfort and warmth in her daddy’s arms the same way you did. Her little breaths hit against him and he’d pout every time she’d make a little noise, kissing her head.

“So… What do we do now?” You giggled, tipping your head back onto the back of the couch, rolling it to look at Trent. The house was quiet except for tiny hiccups from Teddy. Your life had completely changed in a matter of hours.

“I have no fucking idea.” Trent laughed back at you. “Mum and Dad now innit?” He looked down at his mini me still chuckling.

“T! You can’t swear anymore!” You pinched at him. He gave a ‘come on’ face. Teddy was not even a day old; it wasn't exactly like she was picking up or learning the words as you said them today.

“Should we show her her room?” You giggled overly excited you were finally home with your new little family. You were eager to have Teddy see the nursery you worked so hard on. It’s not like she could say thank you or anything, break down if she liked it or not but it was still cute. You wanted to show her everything you could, introduce her to the whole world. You carried her upstairs and opened the door to the nursery you had carefully put together for her. It was so calm and serene there. Cream walls and warm soft furniture. She had a whole wardrobe, books, toys, you just wanted to sit in there all day with her. Just admire her and watch her get acquainted with her new home. The embroidered Avalon blanket Trent had given you laid over a small couch. You couldn’t believe that Baby Alexander-Arnold sewn into the blanket was now here and had her own name. What you weren’t expecting though was the surprise left on her changing table; a big bouquet of Venus et Fleur flowers, two neatly wrapped gifts with white furry teddy bear holding a card in its lap.

“T…” you pouted at him. Obviously it was from him. He always managed to get things organized when you weren't paying attention, with help of course. He shrugged and took Teddy from you. You sat down on a chair in the room and began by opening the card.

‘To my most beautiful girls, You have my whole heart. Can’t wait to see what’s in store for our family. Love you both forever - Your T’

You started to cry. You thought you’d run out of tears but clearly not. He brushed his thumb under your eye catching the tears, pressing a kiss to your hair. You sniffled back more tears and held up the bear towards Teddy. She looked but didn’t exactly have the best attention span yet. She just stayed tucked to Trent happy in his arms, her little hand sprawled on him. It caused you to let out a small giggle before you mouthed a thank you to Trent. He just rocked back and forth with Teddy and gave you a sweet smile and a wink as you grabbed for the first box. Both were small but you went for the smallest first. Your jaw slacked a little opening it. It was an unbelievable diamond signet ring with the initial ‘T’. It was way too nice, extravagant almost. You’d have it forever but what you really loved was that it was the first thing you had that you imagined you could pass down for Teddy could to have one day.

You opened the remaining box to see a necklace with a gold and pale pink pendant. You held the charm with embedded letters in your palm. You looked at the word ‘mama’ inscribed on it. You couldn’t believe that that’s who you were now. Mama to Teddy Alexander-Arnold. You blinked your eyes to pull back some tears and took a deep breath. You flicked your eyes up to Trent and Teddy, the two most important people in your life, for the rest of your life before standing up.

“So what do you think of your room, baby girl, huh?” You cooed coming to stroke her back. Trent turned her to show her all the things in her room. You smiled at them as he picked up items and explained them to her. She just looked on while he held up little items going through one by one asking what she thought. In a bittersweet way you felt as if you had been replaced. His eyes only on her. Teddy just babbled along with a squeal and a squeak.

“Didn’t mummy do a good job for you?” He said hushed in the same tone as you, kissing her cheek. Then Trent sat back down on the couch in her room. He patted the seat next to him. “My girls. Hmm?” He looked up at you with the most loving smile. Okay, maybe you hadn’t been replaced maybe he had just made room to love both of you.

“So did they win yesterday?” You cooed, coming to sit next to him. You kissed Teddy and cuddled up to them both.

“You mean we” Trent quipped and you rolled your eyes at him. “Yeah, baby, we did.” He laughed a little “but I honestly have no idea what happened. I know Dom got a goal but I will find out more when I go into AXA.” He didn’t pick his head up to look at you when he spoke, his gaze was completely fixed on Teddy. You wiped a little bubble of drool from the corner of her mouth that you thought was adorable. Everything she did was adorable.

Unfortunately, Trent had to get back to regularly scheduled programming; to work. It was torture for Trent to have to leave you and her to go into training but he managed demanding you sent him updates hourly. Teddy didn’t really do all that much though so the updates wouldn’t be that interesting to anyone else. That said, to you and Trent though every little thing was equally exciting as it was endearing. Dianne was coming over soon to be with you for support while he was out. Trent definitely hadn’t really felt great about you being home alone since the hospital despite your reassurance. Before she came, you sat in the living room of your beautiful home with your daughter and it all just felt surreal for the moment. When did all this happen? You thought to yourself. Sometimes you couldn’t believe a silly conversation you had on a street corner spiraled into all this, into a baby. A complete whirlwind. You had Teddy in a little Moses basket while you leaned around you to pluck out all the notes from the flowers and gifts you had received to write out thank you cards. The stack was thick It was going to be a long process but it had to be done. You genuinely appreciated all of them. After your hand got tired from writing and you took some time to feed Teddy you looked at her little face and decided you wanted someone else to see just how cute she was so you called Lauren. You had FaceTimed her in the hospital after she was first born but Lauren wanted to see as much of Teddy as possible until she could meet in person.

“Hellooo” you whispered fairly quietly, still burping your baby girl on your shoulder. When Lauren answered she had her phone laying on the sink counter of her bathroom facing the ceiling while she did her makeup. You smiled when her face finally came on the screen as she picked up her phone.

“Hiii mummmy. Who is that gorgeous girll!?” She managed to keep her squeal almost as quiet as your voice.

“Say Hi Ted.” You moved the phone for Lauren to see her face that was leaned on your shoulder. Teddy opened her mouth with the idea moving towards the phone with a tiny grunt. “No, no, no, baby girl.” You giggled pulling it away from her. You and Lauren caught up on her life. Even though it had only been a little over a full day of life with Teddy it was important to you not to make everything about your baby. You wanted to listen to Lauren. Things happening in her life were just as significant. So you yapped away often interspersed with Teddy adding in some gurgles.

“Oh! You know who wanted to congratulate you?” She started to laugh. It peaked your interest. Most people you really knew or cared about had already reached out directly. “I saw Chase at a bar. Well I was out and it came up. You had her and he said congratulations.” She laughed rolling her eyes, understanding how insane it was for the man to even talk to her about you.

“Ew! Lauren… Don’t ever say that name in front of my baby again. I decline that congratulations. Absolutely not.” You laughed but it definitely put a bad taste in your mouth. “Oh Di’s here I have to go…” you told Lauren and ended your call knowing you’d likely call her again tomorrow. Like changing of the guards, a few hours later Dianne was gone and Trent was coming home. When he came back from training you walked towards the front door with Teddy to greet him. She didn’t know it yet but she would be excited to see him.

“My baby bear!” Trent cooed. A massive childish grin pulled across his face. His eyes glimmered the second he saw her and her eyes lit up just the same. “You’re so beautiful, aren’t you? Did you have a good 2nd day in the world with mummy and nana?” He carefully pulled her out from your arms and into his. He kissed her all over, swaying back and forth continuously rattling away to her about his own day like she understood everything he was saying.

“Just take a nap baby” Trent cooed, pulling you further back into him. You had retreated to your bedroom exhausted. You laid back on your bed tucked in Trent’s arms with Teddy on your chest, all three of you completely spent from the last 72 hours.

“T, I don’t want to be away from her.” You turned your head back to Trent, resting your chin on your shoulder. You were serious. You really didn’t want to spend a second apart from Teddy but you were totally drained.

“Just close your eyes for a little, baby, okay? I’ll sit right here with her next to you. We’re right here.” He stroked his hand up your arm. You sat up and handed Teddy to him gently before rolling over to his side settling into the bedding that had never felt more comfortable. “I’ll keep my hand on you. You’ll know she’s here with me.” You nodded and eventually dozed off taking a much needed nap. An hour or so later your eyes began to flutter open in the warm dwindling evening light. You peeked one eye open to see trent holding Teddy in his arms with his phone camera facing them

“Whose that? Is that Teddy and daddy? What do you think, Ted? Think you look like daddy?” He cooed, nuzzling his nose against her cheek. Her eyes lit up looking at him through the phone. “I’m gonna take care of you and mummy forever. Yeah?” He squeezed her gently. She cooed making vowel sounds. You reached out and placed your hand onto Trent’s warm skin.

“Think she looks like you, hmm?” You giggled squeezing his thigh then moving over in the bed to lean your head into the nook of the inside of Trent’s elbow. You looked at your little girl gazing back at you making an identical face to his.

“Well… yeah. Don’t you?” He looked at you and gently turned Teddy’s head towards you and squished his cheek to hers for a comparison. “C’mon, baby. She’s my little twin.” Trent was very proud of his creation. You laughed at him, obviously you were kidding. Their similarities were very very evident. You grabbed Trent’s phone from him to take a photo of them.

“Can you smile for me, my little Teddy bear?” You pinched her chubby cheek and she did what would be considered the best attempt at a smile for a newborn baby.

“Yeah, like be so real right now… she’s perfect.” Trent took his phone back and inspected the photos with a big grin. “Gotta send this one to Jude. I’ve been trying to explain how much she looks like me.” Trent had been sending pictures of your little girl to all his friends who hadn’t met her in person yet. Jude in particular was having a field day getting updates. He was claiming he was the favorite uncle already despite it being a day, despite him not actually being related, despite him being in another country, he was still sure he was the favorite uncle.

You tucked into bed for an attempt at actual sleep. You had coaxed Teddy into her own sleep but you weren’t really she even understood the concept of night time yet. You were mentally preparing to be living by her schedule for the foreseeable future. Teddy was really mellow and slept a lot of the day, would wake to feed and then doze off again. It was definitely adorable but it was definitely equally as difficult. You had made a plan for her to be in the nursery. That was the plan but she got up frequently through the night; hungry. She was very hungry and you were very tired everytime it was your turn to walk over to her room. In the moment of rare down time you cuddled into bed with Trent laying on your side. He wrapped you in his arms whispering behind your ear how much he loved you. How much he cared about you. How proud he was of you. The way his warm minty breath hit the back of your ear had you feeling a way you had almost forgotten you could in the last 48 hours. You pushed your ass back into hin. His breath hitched and moved his lips down to nibble on your neck, sucking sweetly on your sensitive skin. You almost let out a pathetic moan just from being in his embrace and the feeling of his lips. It felt so good to be back alone with him under his touch. It was all so familiar and yet entirely different now that there was a third person in the house. You could feel Trent starting to get hard behind you. His semi hard cock tucked in his boxers brushing up against you.

“Thissss.” He laughed a little, the air from his breaths hitting your skin. “Yeah, this right here is going to be difficult. I didn’t plan on the time I’d have to be away from mummy.” He joked before he rolled over onto his back dramatically with a laugh. You rolled over onto yours and turned your head to look at him.

“Oh poor T…” you teased him. He was complaining about not getting to have sex meanwhile you were enduring all the joyous symptomatic effects post birth. He rubbed his hands over his face and puffed out some air. “You did this to yourself, you were the one ‘oh let me cum inside yada yada… now look.” You gestured to the less than sexy pajamas you were in.

“Hey… you’re still very very hot baby by the way so don’t gimme that. Also, I enjoyed each and every time I did that. I’m not complaining. I’ll do it again.” He gave you a pompous smile. He was proud of himself having sex with you, getting you pregnant, having a baby, becoming a dad. As he should be but right now your body could care less about his pride.

“Again!??? T! You need to stay at least a yard away from me for a bit.” You laughed at him, shimmying over in bed to distance yourselves.

“You’ll come crawling back to me… I know you, baby. You have never been very good at ignoring me.” He teased squeezing at your arm, leaning over and pressing a wet kiss onto your cheek with a ‘mwah’ sound, “You love me, can’t get enough” he laughed as you dramatically wiped your hand over your cheek pretending to be grossed out but the film of saliva it left. You always secretly like it when he did that. “Oh T! Mmm that feels so good. Let me make you a daddy.” He mocked your voice and accent. “Jokes on you, baby, innit. I took you up on the offer.” He teased you back. You rolled your eyes at his bad impersonation before you kissed his bare shoulder. You leaned away from his theatrics to check the baby monitor. You and Trent made a little game-plan for who would be ‘on duty’ during certain hours of the night. Just knowing he’d be with you was doing wonders for your nerves. You survived your first night with Teddy outside hospital at home. Barely, maybe… at least the best you could. After that your days and nights just blended together into one big chunk of feeding, snuggling, napping and changing. And even as difficult as it was every time she looked up at you, clinging to you, it made it all worth it.

It was hard to get ready with a baby. Thankfully, Trent was home that morning, he had the whole day off so he rocked Teddy, standing in your wardrobe watching on while you haphazardly pulled on Hill House Nap dress. It would have to do for now. You weren’t exactly fit to turn out a look at the minute. You came to grab Teddy to feed her before both your families arrived and sent Trent down to talk to the chef about the meal.

You hadn’t really had a moment to think so thankfully you were able to give blanket ideas of what you wanted for a lunch you were having for everyone to get together to your party planner. The plan was to have close family and friends over to meet Teddy. Frankly, you’d usually manage something like this on your own but you couldn’t be asked. To be fair, your planner went above and beyond for this. It was elaborate. You walked into your back garden with Teddy clinging to your chest to scope it all out. It was so beautiful and whimsical, lots of browns and tan colors. Pampas grass arrangements on the table paired with little bears and lots of balloons. You thanked her and she and her team got out of the way before the first person arrived. No one else but good old George. Trent answered the front door and gave him a big hug.

“Mateeeee, congratulations! Where is she?” George asked, walking through the entryway eager to meet what he said was going to be ‘an upgrade for a new best friend.’

“Thanks, bro. They’re both outside.” Trent gripped his shoulder bringing him in the house. George handed him a present. “You didn’t have to bring anything, honestly George.” Trent laughed.

“My mum told me I had to. She’s coming a little later with dad:” George shrugged. Trent grew up going to primary school with George before he moved schools for football. His whole family stayed close with George’s, their respective brother’s ages aligning closely. The relationship was probably one of the reasons he was able to stay so grounded. It was normal as if at 17 he was just in school not gunning for a spot in the first eleven. The boys walked into the kitchen where you had gone after checking out outside. “Wow… Trentski 2.0 hmm?” George lowered his voice a little walking towards you. You hummed. He gave you a hug and asked if you were doing okay before focusing on your new baby. The three of you caught up chatting while Teddy contributed very valuable ‘puh’ and ‘bah’ noises smacking her lips together trying to nom on Trent’s face as he held her before more people started to arrive. It was mostly just Trent’s family, until finally, your own. Your dad knocked on the door and judging from who was already inside you knew it had to be them. So you cheerily walked to the door holding your baby.

“Want to meet my mummy and daddy? Meet auntie Winnie? What do you think, my little teddy bear?” You cooed, smushing a kiss on her soft skin. You opened the door with one hand. Your parents' faces dropped into silent gasps.

“Oh my goodness, look at her.” Your mum sang coming to hug you. You wrapped your free arm around her and picked your head up to see your dad. His face had transitioned into a proud beaming smile seeing you hold your baby.

“We are so excited to meet you.” Your dad cooed, stroking his hand over her, kissing you on the forehead. “Teddy girl, you are already very very loved.” He was right. It was so special to have all your family and friends here that could make it to meet her.

“She’s absolutely perfect.” Winnie pouted looking at you holding her.

“Well come in! I think you know everyone here… if you don’t I’ll introduce you.” You babbled walking further into your house towards the back garden signaling your family to follow. Your parents and Winnie brought an unnecessary amount of gifts for you. So you asked your sister to just put them upstairs for now, thanking them preemptively. Trent got up from his conversation with his brothers and welcomed your family with big hugs. Everyone mingled. George talked with you and Winnie as he watched Trent hold your daughter.

“She is literally Trent… it’s mad.” He spoke looking at you for confirmation. You nodded with a smile.

“The funny thing is, I really thought I was there too.” You joked and George rolled his eyes at you. As much as you loved that they looked so similar there was a part of you that was a tinge jealous of Trent that when you looked at Teddy, you knew she was his daughter. You had to think about it a little harder to find your features in her. You sat and ate a lovely lunch. You had an avocado toastie with burrata and tomatoes. You got about half way through it before you were full. You weren’t really that hungry though so for the remainder you just held Teddy as people tried to grab her attention, taking a million photos. It was all perfect, the weather, the people, the memories you were making. When everyone had finished lunch a lot of them left and got on their way but Tyler and George decided to hang around for a bit. You stayed outside with your mum, Winnie, and Dianne. Your dad taking a nap jet lagged. Dianne and your mum ranted on and on about new born babies; things to do and not to do, how perfect they are, how difficult they can be, what your body is like after birth. Winnie shivered at the latter.

“I think I need a drink. That was a lot to hear.” She laughed, shaking her head trying to get the images that were just explained and unfortunately burned into her memory to disappear. The boys were all inside Tyler holding Teddy as they all watched a footie match in the cinema.

“So the plan’s back in motion now, yeah? You had her.” Tyler spoke, turning his body to Trent and then gesturing to Teddy. “All good to go? What do you think, Ted?” He asked Trent and the little baby in his arms. Teddy just spittled a little. “Erm… not the answer I was looking for but I’ll take it as a yes.” Tyler laughed before Trent came to pick Teddy up with an unnecessary grunt from how ‘heavy’ she was from Tyler’s arms and brought her to sit with him. Cleaning up around her pouty lips.

“You’ve had it for about a year now, mate. Maybe she should hold onto it. You know, on her finger… it serves no purpose in a safe.” George quipped at Trent with a smug face and a raised eyebrow. Trent nodded and shrugged coyly. You had given Trent a beautiful baby girl. If that wasn’t love, Trent wasn’t sure what was… but that wasn’t all he wanted, all he needed. He needed to give you everything in return and that included his last name. He wanted to be a family. One unit. Trent, Teddy and Y/N Alexander- Arnold.

•

Thank you for reading! Please like, comment, or message what you think of the chapter … 🤍

Next part - Chapter 7 xx

[anki-of-beleriand]

Bad Liar ch. 5

Summary: Life is about lessons, and Wanda has been learning some harsh facts that had define her life and taken her to a place in which she was given a second chance. Then, all of a sudden, she meets you, and she realizes why it's easier to lie to yourself than to accpet what's right in front of her.

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff/ Female!reader - America/Kate - Mentions of past Vision/Wanda - past Natasha/Reader - Some Female!Reader/Carol Danvers - past Shuri/Female!reader

Warnings: Slow burn - Enemies to friends to lovers - Mentions of abusive relationships - Toxic relationships - angst - drama - mentions of abuse - unrequited love - gay panic - fools in love - more tags as the story progress.

Author's note: I'm back! Yes! I know it has been quite a while, life has been hard if I'm honest with you and these moments of peace had been sporacdic. Hope you like this new chapter.

This time around something happened that made R and Wanda come closer, yet far enough for them to deny whatever they want.

Thank you so much for reading, commenting, liking and reblogging the story guys! Remember that English is not my mother tongue, so forgive my grammar, spelling and funny mistakes.

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 6 - Chapter 7 - Chapter 8 - Chapter 9 - Chapter 10 - Chapter 11 - Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14 - Chapter 15 - Chapter 16 - Chapter 17 - Chapter 18

Chapter 5

Falling

Her life had been predetermined by her father the moment she had been born.

For as long as she could remember, Wanda had always been told what to do, how to act, what was expected of her. Even though her mother helped her get an education, as well as get into a career, her father had always made sure Wanda was straight as an arrow, always leading her to a ‘good man that could control and protect her’.

She found herself being introduced to Jarvis at some point, the son of one of her father’s business partners, and a classmate of hers all through the secondary, it had been decided that he would be her husband. Wanda sighed watching the picture she kept on her photo album, in there was Pietro always smiling and happy with his arm around her shoulders while Jarvis stood to her left with a possessive hold on her waist.

Pietro had never liked Jarvis, but it wasn’t his decision.

Thunder broke into the night, Wanda jumped startled watching outside the window while her eyes drifted momentarily to the stairs. She strained her ear trying to hear if the twins had woken up, but the silence of the house was only broken by the rain and the wind right outside. Wanda sat in silence and a half-lit room, the memories of her past coming over with overwhelming emotions that threatened to break her over once more.

She held onto her own strength, the smile of her children and the words of Hope and Natasha while the tears rolled down her cheeks.

“This is a long road, Wanda. You are not expected to heal overnight, but you do need to start somewhere.”

And that was precisely what she was doing, choosing the memories she wanted to keep and letting go of those she didn’t want to remember. The pictures in her photo album had change drastically the moment Jarvis showed up in her life. Soon the pictures of Pietro, her mother, and her friends disappeared, giving way to pictures of Jarvis filling up her youth invading her life in ways she never noticed until now.

She didn’t even have enough pictures of her and the twins, most of the pictures included Jarvis one way or another holding them, grabbing them, possessing them. Wanda closed the photo album feeling suddenly emotionally tired, her life had changed drastically ever since she ran from Jarvis and started working on her, her children, her career.

“One step at a time, Wanda. You just must give yourself some credit, you are doing fantastic and as long as you remember why you are doing this you will be okay.”

And Wanda knew why she was doing it.

She still had the scars, and the police report as well as the medical records of herself and Tommy. The bright, blueish light of lightning breaking into the night startled her again, this time around she redirected her eyes to the window and waited for the sound of thunder breaking into the night.

The lights in the house flickered and soon the hole house went black. Wanda stood up, her eyes going big as she heard the sudden cries coming from the twin’s room. In less than a minute she had run up the stairs entering their room, the light from the mobile helping her move through the house and the darkened room.

She was familiar with the scene welcoming her the moment she crossed the threshold of the twin’s room. Billy was holding onto Tommy, both boys had their eyes wide open though Tommy was looking drowsy and flustered while Billy was completely awake and disheveled holding onto his brother as he used to whenever they heard the screams of fighting and hitting in their parents’ room.

“Hey, guys, it’s okay, mommy is here.” Wanda approached the bed wrapping her arms around them, kissing their foreheads with a concerned frown. “It’s just rain, it will pass.”

Billy merely nodded but Tommy went from his brother to his mother, and it was then that Wanda noticed the shivering figure of Tommy, his labored breathing and the glassy eyes. Billy shot his brother a worried glance before turning his attention to his mother.

“Momma, I don’t feel good.” Tommy whispered snuggling closer to Wanda, the young woman placed her hand on the boy’s forehead feeling the warm emanating from his skin.

Panic rose inside Wanda’s mind, Tommy was burning and he wasn’t looking so good. She lifted her eyes and Billy was glancing at her with a frown adorning his face.

“Mommy?”

“Don’t worry, boys, mommy is here, okay?” Wanda cooed Tommy while trying to give Billy a reassuring smile.

Tommy closed his eyes whimpering lightly, while Billy chewed on his lower lip.

“Is Tommy okay?” He asked in a small voice, Wanda fixed the younger of the twins on the bed while helping Billy down and directing him to his own bed.

“He is baby, but he needs some space and medicine, right now he seems to have a fever and mommy needs to make sure he is okay.” Wanda explained pocking Billy on the nose, the young boy offered a weak smile, but his eyes went from Wanda and Tommy constantly.

“I’m going to grab something really quick from the bathroom, can you watch over him without going to close to Tommy?” Wanda inquired knowing the request was hard for the young boy, they had always been together through the fighting, through the punishment and even in sickness.

But Wanda didn’t have the luxury of having any help, and risking both twins to get sick was something she couldn’t afford emotionally and physically. Wanda brushed Billy’s hair placing a single kiss on his forehead. Billy scrunched up his nose, pursing his lips at the last request.

“Tommy needs me.” He mumbled crossing his arms.

“I know it’s hard, Billy, but mommy doesn’t want you catching whatever it is Tommy has.” She tried to explain to the upset kid. “Mommy needs you to be strong and help her out, can you do that for me?”

Billy pouted looking away while nodding his head curtly, Wanda hesitated for a moment before standing up, her eyes went to Tommy then back to Billy who was still looking away from her. With a heavy heart, the young woman made her way to the bathroom to look for something that might help Tommy.

In the darkened bathroom, Wanda soon realized she had never bother to buy any medicine or any kind of implements that might help in a situation such as this. She had gauze, alcohol, bandages, cotton balls, and a digital thermometer. She tried to look at her reflection, the tears she didn’t know she was shedding rolling down her cheeks while her heart beat hard against her ribcage. None of this, but the thermometer, would help her with Tommy, would her?

With trembling hands, Wanda grabbed the thermometer and some cotton balls, she let her hands wander inside the cabinet until she found a small cup. Making sure the water was not too cold, she wiped away her tears and putting on a strong façade grabbed everything and went back to the twin’s room.

The storm ranging right outside the house became almost unbearable, thunder and lightning filled out the emptiness inside her home and by the time she was helping Tommy out, Billy was holding onto his pillow watching wide-eyed as Tommy whimpered and complain while putting his blankets away.

The lights had not come out yet, and Wanda had a feeling that this might take some time because of the storm. She went right into action making sure Tommy had the thermometer while putting the cotton balls and the cup of water on the bedside table.

Billy watched from afar as Wanda fussed over Tommy while his brother cried softly, and tried to get away from her touch while still couching and sneezing, his hands grabbing his chest or head from time to time. The young boy had always been there ready to protect his brother, and he hated it when he knew there was nothing he could do.

His young eyes went from his brother to his mom, she was crying and Billy felt his eyes well up at the sight. For a brief moment, he turned his attention to the door almost expecting his dad to come over screaming enraged before hitting mommy and Tommy.

But it never happened, and relief washed over the young man that still felt anguish at the sight of his family suffering over without anything he could do. Billy glanced at the phone, then back at his mom and Tommy, he lifted his hand and wiped away his tears with his pajamas. The phone he had been holding for quite a while vibrated in his hand, Billy frowned glancing at the phone while tilting his head.

“Mommy.” He mumbled standing up, he made his way to Wanda holding onto the phone.

Wanda lifted her head, she tried to smile and Billy could see she was not doing okay.

“Tell me, sweetie.”

“Can you call a doctor?” Billy offered the phone to his mother, he could no longer hide the tears on his face and Wanda broke just a little at how mature he usually behaved at his age.

Wanda grabbed the phone putting him closer to her, her arms wrapped comfortingly around him before placing a kiss on his head. She thought about the proposal, it wasn’t as if she hadn’t thought about it, but the rain outside and the lower temperatures could only be worse for the boy burning in fever at the moment. There was a moment of hesitation on Wanda’s part, she glanced at Tommy then at Billy before placing her eyes on the phone.

But before she could do anything, Tommy sat up moaning, grabbing his stomach.

“Mommy I don’t feel good…” And with those words, he leaned in and started throwing up.

Billy stepped back watching horrified as Tommy empty the contents of his stomach on the bed and the floor, and soon Wanda sprang into action taking the young boy to the bathroom, running and sharing comforting words to a now crying Tommy.

The mobile had fallen to the floor, and Billy grabbed the gadget in his hands hugging it closer to his chest not knowing what to do and how to help his mom and brother. It took him a moment, tears falling down his face, and he just checked the phone finding the only familiar name that could help him and his mommy in a moment like that one.

With a blurry eyesight, he pressed the dial button and finally started sobbing when he heard the familiar voice through the phone.

____________________________________________________________

There was not a single light on the streets.

The wind and water twirled in front of the windows, the bluish light of thunder breaking into the darkness from time to time, and the rumbling from thunder making the glass trembled echoing the strength of the storm.

You sipped some hot chocolate from your favorite mug, sitting down in the kitchen your mind played out the recent events that had shaken your life in ways you never thought possible. More than a week had passed since the school event in which you got a chance to see a side of your neighborhood you were not familiar with and finding her in the practice of your best friend.

Since then, your encounters with her have been sporadic. But each and every single one of them had the spark of teasing you had come accustomed to. It had become a habit to just bother her and rail her up, to watch her reaction to your piercing words and your constant teasing while getting some reaction out of her. To see her eyes going wide, and flashing that glare you had come to appreciate, or her retorts that were a defiance of your intelligence and your personality. A part of you knew the game you were playing was a dangerous one, another part didn’t even care.

That was, until your mind reminded you of one Carol Danvers that had been at your doorstep from the moment you decided to go back to the world.

The blonde woman had been there as a support, and also as someone that helped you escaped from the pain and the reality you were made to face. So much different than Shuri, Carol had always understood your priorities, and while at the beginning the both of you had agreed on sex with no strings attached, Carol had made it quite evident she was ready for more, and pretty much intended to wait for you to be ready as well.

Another thunder broke into the night.

You lifted your eyes wondering if perhaps letting Carol meet America had been the wisest thing to do, the both of them had hit it off right off the bat, and you knew that Carol had been more than happy about the meeting. She saw that as a step in the right direction, one of the steps to get you closer into a relationship you were still not so sure you wanted.

“What are you doing up at this hour?” The voice of America startled you awake from your daze, turning around you saw her completely dressed wearing a heavy jacket and boots as if she was ready to go out.

“What are you doing dressed like that?” You asked back raising a single eyebrow, the young woman came closer to you tilting her head with narrowed eyes.

“I’m going out.”

You snorted shaking your head, “you’re crazy if you think I’m letting you go out with this weather. Anyway, why the hell would you go out? This has something to do with Kate?”

America opened her eyes wide, blushing lightly while crossing her arms.

“Not everything that happens to me has to do with Kate.” She huffed indignantly, though you had to smirk at her reaction.

“As of late, everything has to do with her…” You replied teasingly. “You two should stop playing around and get together already.”

“Oh, shut up! You are one to talk, you and Carol had been playing the friends with benefits for far too long, you should give in already.” She retorted shooting you a defiant glance, you winced looking away while lifting your mug.

“Touché. I won’t say anything about Kate and you from now on.”

“Thank you.” America turned around but stopped when you placed a hand on her shoulder, your brows lifted in wonderment.

“Still, you’re not going out, though.”

America made a face lifting her phone while trying to come up with the best explanation.

“Look, Billy Maximoff just called me.” She started explaining, and as soon as that name came out you perked up. “He was really distressed, crying and asking for me to help him, something happened to Tommy and…”

“Well, where is his mom? Or his dad for that matter?”

It wasn’t so much the question, but the tone of voice you used to ask. Your voice broke a little, and your tone rose an octave making you clear your throat and look away from the scrutinizing gaze of your sister. America narrowed her eyes at you, tilting her head.

“There is no dad, and it seems as if Mrs. Maximoff needs help.” America trailed off before grabbing your hand. “Come with me, please, I think they really need help and I hated to think Billy is crying while Tommy and Mrs. Maximoff are…I don’t know…”

You made a face letting go of America while scratching the nape of your neck, your heart jumped in your chest while a tingling started in your abdomen at the thought of seeing Wanda Maximoff. It was strange, and unwanted, you shouldn’t feel anxious to see that insufferable woman, yet…

“What if Tommy is sick, Y/N? I know you can help them.” America pressed grabbing your hand. “Please, come with me and if it is something dumb, you can lash out at Mrs. Maximoff, I know it had become your favorite pastime as of late.”

“That’s not true!” You replied slightly offended. “She is the one lashing out at me!”

“Oh, please if I didn’t know better, I would say you like her!” America replied turning just on time to miss the flash of panic in your eyes.

“So, can you come with me?” This time around she used her most powerful weapon against you, and her puppy eyes with that familiar pout broke your resolution.

Rolling your eyes you nod, “okay, okay, I’m coming with you, let me grab something, I don’t want to catch a pneumonia just so you can go and help Maximoff’s brats.”

America smirked watching as you went running to your room, she knew even if your words seemed uncaring that you were hooked when she said the kids might be sick. America knew for you it was hard to not care, but sometimes it was harder to care.

*************

Your eyes soon found those of the small boy standing by the door with a blue blanket tightly pressed against his chest, he had tears in his eyes with his hair completely disheveled and a spark of mistrusted sent your way. America knelt down as soon as he opened the door, her face breaking into one of pure tenderness while she spoke to the boy in a soft reassuring tone.

“Hey, Billy, how are you buddy?”

“Tommy is sick.” He mumbled and was about to hug your sister when you stopped him from going any further.

His glare made you think of his mother, and you had to refrain yourself from snorting at the likeness between both of them.

“We are drench, kid, so hugging America is not a good idea.” The glare didn’t lose its intensity, but the boy pursed his lips and stepped away from your grasp.

America rolled her eyes at you, closing the door behind her and taking the jacket off of her. You followed her swiftly, while also taking off your boots and standing inside the house that had been Natasha’s at some point.

The place had changed ever since, though you could see the new inhabitants of the household decided to keep some of the furniture. You frowned stepping inside the place noticing there was no one but the kid on the first floor, turning around you could see America talking to the boy, this time around she wrapped her arms around him helping him up and walking towards you with Billy snuggling closer to her.

“Tommy is sick, and he and his mom are upstairs.” She commented, her lips broke into a sad smile. “He didn’t know what to do, but he thought if I was here his mom could take Tommy to the doctor.”

“You are quite the smart guy, Billy.” Your commented made Billy turned his attention to you, though his eyes had not softened he was now shooting curious glances at you. “However, with this rain, the best would be for Tommy and your mom to stay here…”

This time around you could see the crestfallen expression on the boy’s face, his eyes welled up again and your heart broke at the sight. You leaned in, winking at him reassuringly.

“But you and your family are lucky that I know a thing or two about being a doctor and may be able to help, would you like that?”

America watched as the boy tensed in her arms, his eyes opened lightly, and he glanced at you for the very first time with wonderment, and some hesitation.

“Really?” he turned to America to corroborate your words, and the young woman smiled at him.

“Yes, Billy, this is my sister Y/N.” She said, looking at you then back at the boy. “And she learnt a thing or two about children and how to take care of them.”

Billy pursed his lips glancing at you with a tilt of his head, “really? You help Tommy?”

“Really, I can help Tommy and your mommy as well.” You looked around the place before settling your eyes on America. “Why don’t you grabbed one of the torches you brough and I will go upstairs to see what’s going on.”

“Sure.” America turned to Billy pocking him on the nose. “Want some chocolate while we make sure Tommy gets better?”

You watched as both of them go to America’s jacket, and handing over the torch to Billy they made their way to the kitchen. With a sigh, you placed a hand on your head before turning your stare to the stairs; the place was completely silent, and you had to glance around while straining your ear to catch some noise. Without missing a beat, you walked down the hall until you found yourself in front of a door decorated with dinosaurs and the names of the twins in blue and red.

The room smelt like vomit, and it felt suffocating.

On the bed was a small boy whimpering, and leaning in was the young woman you had come to know as Wanda. There was a moment of hesitation before you knock on the open door, the sudden sound made Wanda jerked around her eyes wide open as they settled on you.

“Wha-what are you…who…?”

The young woman was looking terrible.

Her hair was out of place, and she had been wearing some sweatpants and a shirt that had strains of vomit all over them. The sight itself was quite incredible, you had seen the fire behind those green eyes, the power behind the woman’s words as well as her determination whenever you engaged her in a bickering contest. But the woman standing before you was lost, it was someone that didn’t know what to do or how to react, that was completely out of her element while holding onto a piece of sanity she clearly didn’t have.

It made you think of that time she had frozen in fear during the school’s event.

“You got any coherent thought behind those questions? Or do I have to guess what are you trying to ask?” Your lips curled into a smirk, the glint of anger flashing towards you as the woman strides to you her index finger lift poking on your chest, with her nostrils flaring.

“What the hell are you doing here?” There was desperation in her voice, and you had to wonder where the father of the kids was, where was her husband.

Was she alone in all of this?

“Your kid called, and America dragged me over to help.”

She blinked a couple of times, your words registering in her head while her brows knitted together. Her eyes locking with yours before she opened them in realization.

“Billy.”

“Yes.”

“America? Why…?” Now she looked even more confused than before, you shrugged suddenly very aware of the closeness of the woman and the foolishness of the situation.

“She is my sister, and your kid call her over to see if she could help you.” You shrugged trying to look uninterested in the whole situation. “You had a smart kid, Princess. Now, let me help you with your other kid.”

You stepped aside, and walked past Wanda who was struck by the door still registering your words. You looked around the place before kneeling down right beside the bed of Tommy. You placed your hand on his forehead, he was burning and your touch made him shiver telling you his skin was sensitive to the touch. It was quite evident he had thrown up, and his paleness confused itself with the flush of the fever. Your eyes moved to the thermometer then to the mess around you.

“What are you doing?” Wanda asked in a thin voice, your eyes were flashing angrily at her just as you stood up.

“Me? What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” You asked through gritted teeth. “He is burning up! What had you given to him? Do you know if he eaten something that upset his stomach? How long has he been like this?”

And just as you said this you stepped closer to her, the anger in you came by the sight of the state the room was in and by the obvious discomfort the boy was in. It was incredible to you that a mother could be this disinterested in their child. If your stepmother had been alive her first instinct would have been to take you or America straight to the hospital, bad weather or not, and your dad…

The anger running through your veins cooled down the moment your eyes fell upon the cowering form of Wanda. The young woman winced when you spoke to her, her body tensing and coiling in on itself, while she pressed her hands tightly to her chest. Her eyes clenched close, paled with a quivering lower lip, she was mumbling something you had not bothered to hear up until now.

“I just…I didn’t…I don’t have because I…” Wanda had been ready to answer your reproaches with the same annoying tone she used to address you until something in her triggered the memories she thought she had overcome. She was useless, a bad mother, she deserved punishment. She deserved her fate.

“I don’t know! I’m sorry, I…I failed, I failed, I’m a bad mother…”

You never expected her to break down the way she was doing, something in your chest stirred with sympathy and guiltiness at having been so hasty in your reaction. There was a moment of hesitation that was broken the moment the woman felt to her knees, this time around her arms above her head as if protecting herself from an invisible attack. You clenched your jaw, your eyes burning with horror at the thought that this was perhaps what Wanda was waiting from you.

You could hear her whimpers, turning around you could see Tommy crawling his legs closer to his body, he had been awake during the scene trembling on his bed with his lips turned downwards. You brushed your hair away before stepping closer to Wanda, kneeling down slowly but surely, your hand placed itself on her shoulder. Whatever story was behind her reaction, you decided right there and there, you would make things easier for her.

“Hey, Wanda, I’m sorry.” You whispered softly, comfortingly. “It was not my place, you are a good mother, you did the right thing, I just…I want to help…”

“Hey, Wanda, sorry I just…look, I came here to help. So…”

“Why? So you can humiliate me? Tell me…making me feel as If…” Wanda exploded pushing your hands away, her eyes filled with tears just as she glared at you. “I’m doing my best I just…”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You whispered, wincing at her words. “I was unfair, I…I just…I don’t like seeing little kids suffering, okay? And, Tommy, he really needs a doctor. Let me make it up to you, let me help you.”

“What? You are a doctor or something like that?” Wanda bit back, her glare never missing the intensity.

“Something like that.” You replied offering a half smile, Wanda furrowed her brows the situation draining her of any will or energy to fight over. “Let’s start by getting him really clean up, do you have anything we can give him?”

“What do you mean?” She asked in a small voice.

“Antibiotics, aspirin…something?” Wanda shook her head and you nodded curtly.

“Okay, that’s fine. You and him, you need a shower…”

“But…but he is sick, and his fever…”

“Needs to be controlled before it gets out of hand.” You replied helping the young woman stand up, you cocked your head, so your eyes fell upon the boy that was glancing at the both of you. “Let’s take him to the bathroom, I have some torches that may help you, but you need to give him a bath and help with his fever.”

Wanda nodded weakly making her way to the bed, Tommy was shivering with his lips parted. You leaned in, observing the rhythm of his breathing and the sweat on his face.

“Mommy?” He asked in a weak voice, Wanda cleared his face never missing the concern marks on her face.

“Is he…” Wanda started but soon trailed off.

“He is gonna be okay.” You smiled at her, standing up you placed a hand on her forearm. “Don’t worry, kid, everything is gonna be fine, can you tell me where it hurts the most?”

Tommy pouted hesitating before placing his hand on his head, you pursed your lips nodding. Wanda observed as you knelt down with your eyes scanning the small form of the boy.

“Does your tummy hurt still?”

“No.” Tommy put his legs closer to his chest, your eyes narrowed for a moment.

“Tommy, did you feel bad today at school?”

Tommy hesitated before nodding, “I didn’t want Billy worried because he was playing with Bard, and I’m always complaining.”

The boy explained in a thin voice, Wanda pressed her lips holding back her own tears. You offered the boy a smirk, shaking your head.

“I bet Bard was being a little brat about it, wasn’t he?”

Tommy opened his eyes before nodding, this time around he smiled.

“Yeah, the men in that family can be little brats.” You said winking at Tommy. “But they are good people, you don’t have to hide, Tommy, more so if you don’t feel okay.”

“I’m s’orry.” He lowered his gaze, “I don’t wanna be weak, daddy don’t like it when I complain.”

You decided to not comment on that, and you even ignored the sudden shift on Wanda’s posture, and the gasp she let out at Tommy’s words.

“Hey! Not feeling well is not about complaining, it’s about being brave enough to admit you need help.” You replied by pocking his nose. “Now, I need to help you and your mom with your fever, okay?”

Tommy nodded putting a thumb on his mouth, you stood up looking around the room before settling your eyes on Wanda. In a sudden movement, you went to pick up Tommy in your arms, the little boy snuggling closer to you.

“He does need to take a bath, and it’s going to be a little uncomfortable for him because the water must be lukewarm.” You stated firmly, Wanda shifted her position taking a good look at you. “Can you show me the bathroom?”

The bathroom was huge.

With a big bathtub at the far corner, you realized that with more light the situation would be easier for everyone. However, the place was big enough to make it work for the mother and the child, you placed Tommy on a small chair near the toilet.

“Okay young man, I need your help right now, think you can do it?”

Tommy opened his eyes wide, nodding while glancing at you then back at Wanda.

“Okay, I’m gonna bring some flashlights and you and your mom are going to take a bath.” You explained to him standing up while turning on the light on your mobile. Wanda had been silent up until then, she had been following your every move, hearing every single word you spoke to her and Tommy, and something inside her stirred grateful by your actions.

You glanced around the place helped with your mobile trying to locate the cabinet in which you might be able to locate some medication. Your eyes narrowed when the only thing you spot were gauzes, bandages, alcohol, and things that might help someone after a fall. Not in a situation like the one they were in at the moment. You turned to Wanda, but the young woman was making her best effort to look away from you.

“I’m going to get the bathtub ready, and you and Tommy can take a bath, so the both of you stop stinking.” You made a face winking at Tommy who giggled placing a hand on his mouth.

“I’m not…” Wanda started but soon trailed off when she heard Tommy’s giggle.

“You are.” You replied walking past her towards the tub. “And Tommy is too, right?”

Tommy hesitated before nodding, “I stink. I felt bad in my tummy and throw up.”

You made a face making sure the war was the right temperature, “that and you have a fever, Tommy. I will need some basic medication for you, but the water will help with the temperature, okay?”

“But, with his fever…” Wanda started, you stood up shaking your head.

“It will make him feel better, believe me.” You offered a kind smile and Tommy was already feeling ready to take the bath. “Let me go for the torches, and then I will bring some medication I have at home that may help with his symptoms.”

Wanda stood there nodding numbly, you hesitated for a moment before grabbing her hand, the tender touch jerked her awake and her eyes found yours in the dark.

“It’s gonna be okay, Wanda, trust me.” You whispered, and the young woman felt her stomach tingle at the closeness, her heart shivering at your words.

“I do.”

You nodded curtly running down the stairs and grabbing two torches from your jacket and that of America, your sister watched you with curiosity, but you paid her no mind and went back to the second floor. Fixing the flashlights on two strategic points in the bathroom, it took but a moment, but soon your eyes found the naked back of the boy and your whole body tensed, while your jaw clenched closed again, this time around the anger bubbling in your chest was like a time bomb ready to explode.

On his back, there were multiple scars, some of them looked fresh, some others were old enough to know he had been hurt several times in the past. Then, as soon as you saw this, your eyes drifted away to the young woman whose hands were tenderly taking the clothes off and helping Tommy into the bathtub. The way she moved, the way she worried about her children…

“It’s cold, mommy.” Tommy whimpered fighting a little, Wanda cooed the little boy trying to calm him down.

“I know baby, but really is not that cold, is just…it feels like that because you’re not feeling well.”

“I’m going to leave this here and you two can take as long as you want.” You commented furrowing your brows, your mind already working on trying to get the truth about Wanda from Natasha. “I will leave my phone here, if you want to put on Disney or Netflix for him.”

Wanda turned to you, her face breaking into one relief and grateful expression.

“Thank you.”

“No need to thank me, Princess.” You winked at her, placing a hand on your eyes. “Tommy you are in charge of the phone and the movie, make sure your mom doesn’t put a boring movie.”

“Yeah.”

Wanda chuckled leaving Tommy for a moment to grab your mobile, her eyes soon found yours and her cheeks burn a little at the sudden warmness she felt near you. She grabbed the phone and you and her turned around at the same time, you closed the door behind you, confusion filling up your mind.

****************

“How is Tommy?” America asked as soon as you entered the kitchen, you glanced around the place before spotting the door leading to the basement, in your arms you were carrying the bed sheets and the pyjama.

“He is burning in fever, Wanda is bathing him, and probably will take a shower afterwards.” You turned to America pointing to the basement door. “I need wash this, but right now that room is a mess, can you help me cleaning it up and putting some fresh sheets on the bed?”

“Can I help?” Billy asked in a small voice rubbing his eyes, you offered him a small smile nodding.

“That would be fantastic, Billy, Tommy needs clean sheets to feel better, and your room smells yucky so let’s make sure he comes back to a clean room, okay?”

Billy perked up at this, he nodded eagerly smiling a little, “yeah, I help, come America.”

He grabbed your sister’s hand dragging her back to the stairs, you shook your head opening the basement door going downstairs to put everything in the washing machine.

By the time dawn came, the rain had stopped and Billy, Tommy and America were fast asleep in the twins room.

The lights had not come out yet, and you had a feeling it would take some time for the electricity to be restored again. The living room was early quiet, and Wanda was sitting on the sofa with a warm mug of hot chocolate in her hands. She had bags under her eyes, her hair was still wet but her clothes had changed into another part of sweatpants and an old college t-shirt.

Tommy’s fever had receded, and he was no longer suffering from headaches or tummy pain, he had even drunk some tea and eaten some crackers before falling asleep on his bed. Billy had been right on his bed with America playing some movies on your phone.

Wanda had been fussing around the three of them, she was busing herself stopping any intrusive thoughts that were threatening to invade her mind. She was confused enough, tired enough, scared enough to allow another set of concerns filled her life at the moment.

You sat down on the sofa, the young woman tensed but her eyes never drifted from the photo album still open at the coffee table. You glanced at the pictures, having taken a pick early into the night before settling your eyes on Wanda.

“What a night, eh?” Your voice broke the silence in the room, it didn’t carry the usual bite and teasing tone you had come to use with Wanda, instead it was filled with tiredness and curiosity.

“Yeah, I never stopped enough to thank you for the help.” She finally said tilting her head to glance at you. “I never thought your sister…well, that you and America…”

“Oh, yeah, I know.” You chuckled wriggling your eyebrows. “I bet it was quite the shock for you to discover we were sisters, eh?”

Wanda allowed herself a tiny smile, “what surprised me is that she is such a charming young woman, responsible, and quite smart. And you don’t seem to fit in that description.”

You laughed throwing your head back, while allowing the comment wash over you. Wanda observed your reaction with some surprised, but her lips curled into a please smile, soon she was also laughing shaking her head at the absurdity of her situation. Here she was, sitting on her living room with a woman she though annoying and a bitch, only to find a comfort she never thought possible.

“Nah, she is good sister, I’m the bad one.” You finally replied never losing your smile, Wanda pressed her lips together looking away for a moment.

“I don’t think you are the bad one.” You raised an eyebrow, your eyes shinning with wonderment. “You are a bitch, but you’re not bad.”

“Fair enough, Princess.” Once more Wanda rolled her eyes at the nickname, at some point she had thought it annoying and quite invasive, a way for you to railed her up. But now all she could think of was how much she liked the sound of it coming from you.

The silence that followed was filled with questions unasked, Wanda was not the woman you thought she was. She was alone in the city, raising two boys all by herself while working to educate the newest generation in a school that could provide her with great opportunities. Natasha had advocated for her, she had even given her the house in which she and Yelena had grown, offering her a spot in a school that didn’t take just anyone in.

What was her story?

What was hidden behind those emerald eyes that sometimes reflect sadness and loneliness?

You stirred awake turning around while knitting your brows together, you could not ask these questions. You shouldn’t be wondering anything about the woman sitting in front of you. Your heart should not beat so fast, and your abdomen shouldn’t host fluttering butterflies creating a void you were familiar with.

Bouncing your feet on the ground, you stood up walking around the living room. Wanda followed you with her eyes, her own mind playing games with her and what had happened that night. She kept telling her that she was grateful for your intervention, that whatever she was experimenting at the moment was the result of America and you coming in to help her in a situation she felt was slipping from her grasp. It had been so long since Wanda forged any kind of friendship that was not determined by Jarvis or her father, she was finally free to be herself and reached out to people by allowing herself to make new bounds.

That was the reason why Wanda felt confused by you at the moment, it wasn’t because you made her heart skip  beat, or because you made her feel vulnerable. It wasn’t either because she felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment and coyness, or because her stomach had come to tingle whenever the both of you engaged in a bickering contest.

It was because she was learning how to make new friends.

That was all.

Wanda drown the voice inside her head, that traitorous voice that told her Y/N was the only one making her feel that way. Her other friends, the new ones, had never shake her world the way you had done so from day one.

“You should probably get some sleep.” Your voice broke Wanda’s trail of thoughts, she jerked around blushing profusely when she realized you were standing right beside her.

“I’m sorry, what?” She asked, and you snorted tilting your head.

“You should probably go to sleep, Princess.” You glanced at the watch on your wrist. “It’s three in the morning, I could keep watch for you, and I can wake you up as soon as the doctor is here.”

Wanda furrowed her brows at you, “doctor?”

“Well, I figured we need an expert to watch over Tommy, so I asked in a favour.” You replied shrugging, “hope you don’t mind.”

Once more, Wanda felt warmth all over, her heart melting at the gesture.

“No, I…thank you.” She took the last sip from her chocolate before yawning, her eyes drifted to the stairs then towards you. “If you don’t mind…I prefer to stay here…can we talk or something?”

You hesitated for a moment; it was quite evident Wanda was tired but she was stubborn enough to keep herself going if necessary. With a sigh, you nodded curtly sitting down on your previous spot of on the sofa.

“So, what do you wanna talk about?” You finally asked after the silence became too much, Wanda shrugged with her eyes falling upon the pictures.

It was still too soon, and you…The young woman turned towards you, she didn’t want to scare you off with her torrid story. She didn’t want you to know about her past, not yet, not like this; so straightened herself up she asked the safest question she could think off.

“Tell me how come you end up with such an amazing sister as America?”

_____________________________________________________________

The constant buzzing of conversation sneaked into her senses; she knew she had to wake up. An internal alarm was telling her she was needed, but her body and the recent activities had left her drained of energy necessary to open up her eyes.

Besides, she was warmth, and comfortable in the place she was in.

For brief moment she gave herself to the feeling, and her mind was slowly but surely losing the battle with her wakeful state until her ears caught the sound of a familiar voice.

“Thank you for coming, Strange, I know that this is not your specialty but…” You stated offering a tired smile to the man standing before you.

“Nonsense, I will be more than happy to help you out and that’s why I brought my wife.” Strange stepped aside and soon Christine came in rolling her eyes, on her hand the small duffel bag she used to carry with her everywhere.

“Hey, Y/N.” You dropped your shoulders walking towards her and wrapping your arms around her.

“Christine.” The older woman shot Strange a quick glance before wrapping her arms around you returning the hug.

“Miss me much?” She asked teasingly, you nodded looking away sheepishly.

“Like you wouldn’t imagine.”

“That’s why you haven’t called as of late?” The question came like a reproach but without any bite. You winced placing a nervous hand on the back of your head.

“I’ve been busy.”

“So I was told.” Christine waved her hand closing the door behind her, her eyes drifted around the place with curiosity before settling on you. “Where is the patient?”

“He is upstairs with America and his brother…”

“I am guessing you are the mother.” Doctor Stephen Strange stepped closer to the redhead now sitting on the sofa, her cheeks wearing pillow marks and her hair completely dishevelled.

“I…I am…Hi, sorry I just…” Wanda stood up feeling a little foolish and out of place, Stephen smiled kindly at her stretching his hand.

“No, please, we heard it was a rough night.”

“Yeah, it…it was I just…” Wanda stuttered kicking herself for being such an idiot, she dropped her shoulders wincing lightly. “I guess I need coffee, can I offer you something to drink?”

Christine chuckled waving her hand, “don’t worry, dear, I think coffee sounds perfect…”

“Good then, you and Wanda can go upstairs and Stephen and I will make the coffee and something to eat for everyone, would you like that?” You turned to Wanda who was still far too sleepy, and far too lost to said anything at all, you had taken charge of everything so it seemed and a part of Wanda was thankful for that.

“Yes, that…that sounds good…”

“Okay then, if you lead the way.” Christine took on a professional stance, her tone of voice and ever her glance changed, and as soon as they started making their way upstairs she started asking questions about the twins to Wanda.

“She was happy you called.” Strange stated, sitting down on a chair in the kitchen, you hummed moving around the unknown kitchen trying to locate the coffee maker, and some instant coffee.

“I was happy you guys could make it.” You replied never once looking back at your dad’s best friend.

“So, is she your new girl?”

You almost drop the mug in your hand, your eyes opening wide at the sudden declaration and Stephen merely smirked at your reaction.

“NO!” He winced, and she rolled your eyes trying to get a hold of your voice. “No, no we are neighbours, America babysits for her from time to time.”

“America has a job?” Stephen scrunched up his nose, you chuckled shrugging.

“Yeah, she took it after declaring she felt bored out of her mind and this would teach her some responsibility.” You pursed your lips. “She is right, you know? And, well…Wanda seems to need all the help she can get.”

“I see.” Stephen stood up walking towards the fridge and putting some bacon and milk, going around the place to help you out. “And you…and her…”

“Neighbours.” She stated curtly.

“Right, because you are dating Danvers, right?”

Now he was sounding like a confused parent that was no longer up to date with his child’s demeanours. You sighed rolling your eyes, knowing the questions came for the genuine interested of the man, and not because he wanted to be noisy or intrusive. He was like an uncle to you, and after your parents had died all those who had been part of your parents circle had taken it upon themselves to watch over you and America.

“I’m fucking Carol, there is a difference.” You replied slightly defensively, Stephen made a face shaking his head.

“You are dating her, America told us you invited her over for dinner and that she met her formally this week.” Stephen shot you a triumphant smile, and you could only roll your eyes at that.

Of course, America would mention this to everyone who wanted to hear her.

 “I’m not dating Carol, but I did invite her to dinner and introduce her to America.”

“You know it’s okay to move on, right?” Stephen inquired again, pressing the topic you had tried to evade for as long as your stubbornness allowed it.

You stopped what you were doing, Stephen continued cutting the bacon and serving the eggs and the coffee alongside a cup of warm tea and some crackers. He waited for your answer, hearing the noises of muffled conversation coming from the second floor.

“I’ve been going out with her, and she seems nice, and quite found of me, and the sex it’s incredible and…”

“But you don’t feel anything?”

You sat down shaking your head, “I like her, and of course I feel affection for her, but…”

Stephen nodded in understanding placing the cup of coffee in front of you, he sat by your side taking the tea in his hands.

“I understand.” He blew on the mug before speaking again. “Why do you continue with the relationship, though?”

“I was hoping I would feel something, but I know it’s not fair to her…to me.” You snorted taking a long sip from the black beverage. “I guess that’s why I have been running from you.”

“Ah, the wisdom of the older generation.” Stephen winked at you leaning in. “It’s okay to feel confused, and to want something, Y/N. What it is not correct is to play with someone that may be interested in you.”

“I know.”

Stepehen made a face satisfied with the ending of the conversation, then his eyes drifted to the newcomers that were talking animatedly about some movie. America’s eyes lit up and she soon run towards Stephen hugging him tightly.

“Uncle Strange!”

“Hey, kiddo!” Billy stood unsure at the entrance of the kitchen, he glanced first at America then a Strange and finally at you.

You tilted your head patting the chair beside you.

“Want something to eat, Billy?” He nodded approaching the chair, helped by you he fixed his body to move closer to the counter.

“So, young man, America tells me you are one of the men of the house, is that correct?” Stephen asked serving him a cup of orange juice, Billy opened his eyes big nodding tentatively.

“Perfect, tell me, do you like eggs with bacon or toast with jam?”

Billy pursed his lips thinking hard before talking, “toast with jam.”

“Good selection, my good sir, let’s eat then.”

____________________________________________________________

Saturday night came faster than you thought possible.

Christine and Stephen had spent most of the day with you and America, and most of the morning with Wanda and the twins. You had left your neighbours house with a heavy heart, thought secure in the knowledge Tommy would be just fine and that Wanda and Billy would be okay.

The afternoon had been quite the familiar time, in which America had enjoyed the company of the couple while talking about school and her aspirations for the future. The topic of Carol was not brought again into conversation, but you knew that Christine was thinking the same as Stephen and that most of that conversation had been thanks to America’s own concern.

You took a quick shower before getting inside your bed, your phone had been forgotten most of the day and by the time you finally got to see it the first message that appeared in there was that of Carol.

“Hey, just wondering if you are okay, hope you have an amazing day, Y/N. thinking of you.”

You turned to the side, your mind playing around what had happened in the last day and a half. The twins, Wanda, the conversations and the things that were left unsaid. You knew deep inside your heart you needed to talk to Carol, with a trembling hand you went to write to her but, at the last minute your finger drifted to another chat. A new one.

“Hey, Princess, how are the twins?”

_____________________________________________________________

[ladykailitha]

Grief (A Friend Indeed) Part 8

And we're back with this one! I think I will update this every Thursday until it's done. We actually don't have too much farther to go. But we'll get there.

Steve really goes through it this chapter. He's been burying his feelings for so long that they were an explosion waiting to happen. It happens here.

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7

****

Steve liked Lauren but he was questioning her taste in friends. Though the first one had been a cousin on Danny’s side.

This was his fourth proposition for sex since he’d arrived. Apparently word had spread around that he was related to the Lexington Kincades and they all wanted a taste of that particular brand of honey.

Never mind he was here for a funeral. But Beth had so far been the most flagrant pursuer.

She was currently leaning on her elbows on the counter, showing off her ample breasts. Not that Steve had ever even been a breast guy. Sure they were great to look at but when it came to sex it was more about the person he was in bed with and less what they looked like. Though apparently dark curls played a bigger part than he would admit out loud.

“Come on,” Beth said. “It’s not as though I’m asking you out. I know you’re going to be gone by the end of the week. All I’m saying is to have a little fun.”

Steve sighed. “Look, I’m not interested in ‘fun’ right now. I’ve had more than enough ‘fun’. I’m looking for something deeper. Someone deeper.”

“You got anyone in mind?” she asked, batting her eyelashes and curling a lock of hair around her finger.

“Yeah, actually I do,” he said straightening up. “They are sweet and kind and makes me laugh. They are always there for me even when I didn’t even know I needed someone to talk to.”

Beth scoffed. “Sounds like your crushing on your best friend or something, Raven, Wren, Mavis or whatever her name was.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Robin.” He crossed his arms and glared at her.

“Yeah, her,” Beth said. “I knew it was some bird name. Lauren was telling me all about her. It’s sounds like you’ve got bad for this girl, but she’s not interested in you. So why not take the edge off and get your dick wet.”

“One, it’s not Robin. Two, I’m here for a funeral. And three, I think we’re really close to something and I don’t want to ruin that with some fling.”

She batted her eyelashes. “She’d never know.”

“I would and that’s what matters.”

He stormed out of the kitchen, clenching and unclenching his fists.

*

Eddie was waiting for him on sofa after he had gone to the bathroom to scrub his face.

“Hey,” he greeted. “Is there any chance we could go somewhere? Just me and you.”

Eddie nodded. “Sure, Stevie. Why don’t we head to Lexington and see your grandma’s grave?”

Steve’s shoulders sagged in relief. “That’s great idea, Eds.”

Eddie hopped to his feet. “Just let me tell Uncle Wayne and Aunt Penny that we’ll be gone all day.”

Steve nodded. “I’ll meet you out at the car.”

“Right-oh!” he replied with a jaunty salute.

Steve shook his head fondly and walked out to the car. He leaned against the hood and watched through the window for Eddie.

He watched with his arms folded as Lauren and Beth seemed to exchange...well it was clear whatever it was, it was very heated.

Beth marched out of the house first without so much as backward glance at the house or Steve. Which was fine by him, if he was being honest.

Eddie came out shortly afterwards. “What’s her damage?” he asked jutting his chin at where Beth had stormed off to.

Steve shrugged. “To be honest, I don’t even fucking know, man. I really, really don’t.”

“You ready to go, then?” he asked.

Steve nodded and they slipped into the car. Steve would drive up and Eddie would drive back.

They were silent on the drive up, but it was a comfortable silence. Eddie could see that Steve had been wound up by something, but wasn’t ready to talk about it yet.

Steve drove slowly through cemetery looking for the Kincade family plot where Eileen and Montserrat Kincade’ mausoleum would be.

Soon it loomed in the distance and Steve stopped the car.

“Do you want me to go with you?” Eddie asked.

Steve nodded.

Eddie got out of the car and walked up with Steve to mausoleum and his eyes wandered over the names on the tombstones. There were a lot of Kincades but there were also a smattering of other names. Husbands of female Kincades allowed to be buried in the family plot.

Eddie saw one and burst out laughing. “Hey, Stevie, look! Another Munson!”

Steve stopped his slow trek to the grave and turned to see where Eddie was pointing. And sure enough there it was.

Nathaniel Munson

1921-1944

Abigail Kincade Munson

1922-1973

“Huh,” he said thoughtfully. “I think that was Montserrat’s, my grandpa’s, younger sister. Her husband died in the War.”

Eddie nodded. He wondered if his Munsons were related to Steve’s. That would be interesting to say the least.

“She never remarried?” he asked as they started walking again.

Steve shook his head. “And as I understand no one tried to marry her off again either. She never had kids. My mom always called her a vodka aunt. She would whisk them off on vacations to far off lands during their holiday breaks and just lived her life to the fullest.”

“Is that why you wanted an uncle to do the same for you?” Eddie asked.

“Yeah,” he murmured. “Mom doesn’t have any sisters, so I thought why not a vodka uncle, you know? Someone to take me places I’ve never seen. Always there for me when things got to difficult at home. But it never happened. Uncles Percy and Jasper never even called as far as I know.”

Eddie bumped their shoulders together. “Uncle Wayne can’t take you places you’ve never been, but I think he’d more than happy to take you into the Munson fold.”

Steve smiled at that. “Thanks, Eds. That means a lot.”

They finally reached the fucking tomb. Eddie wondered briefly if she had been mummified.

They had picked up flowers in town so they wouldn’t wilt. White lilies. No red roses for Steve. Not anymore.

Steve walked up to the sepulcher and laid the flowers down in front of it. He sank to his knees and just started to sob. It just all came out in a rush of emotion building up for the last twelve years. All the people he lost.

The lost of his friends even though they were objectively horrible people, they were his people once upon a time. The lost of his innocence to literal fucking monsters. The lost of his parents through neglect and disinterest. The lost of his relationships with Nancy and every other girl he’d been with since. The lost of his ability to sleep.

Eddie knelt down next to him and put his arms around him, just holding him as he cried.

Steve wasn’t sure how long he had knelt there sobbing into the grass with Eddie’s arms around him, but suddenly there was the sound of a car slowing to a stop behind them.

Eddie looked at his watch and then at the sepulcher behind him.

Shit.

They had by some coincidence come on the twelfth anniversary of Eileen’s death. Eddie instantly knew who was pulling up and if they didn’t get out of there soon, Steve was going to have a much worse day.

But he couldn’t just pull Steve away, not when he clearly needed this. He stood up and turned to face the man that had gotten out of the very fancy car.

To say he was shocked would be an understatement. Steve clearly took after his mother’s side. The man had the same hazel eyes and honeyed hair that Steve did. He had a neatly trimmed beard and a tailored suit.

“Hey!” the man called out. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

Steve’s head snapped up. He scrambled to his feet, brushing the grass off his knees. When he straightened up the other man gasped.

“Steven?”

“Uncle Percy?” Steve asked, jaw dropping, eyes wide.

“Shit, Steven,” Percy huffed. “Your Uncle Jasper is literally behind me. He’s going to have a bitch fit if he sees you here.” He pulled out a business card and a pen. “Meet me here at four and we’ll talk then.”

Steve nodded taking the business card. He didn’t want to be yelled at by his other uncle either.

Steve and Eddie started walking to their car when another, even fancier car pulled up to the curb. Another man got out. He looked like Max, but was thinner, more ratlike in his appearance. He hurried over to the other side of the car, helping out a very pregnant blonde woman as a ten year old girl hopped out of the back seat.

As they got to the car they could hear the exchange.

“Who was that, Perce?” Uncle Jasper whined.

“Just a couple of college students doing some family history and got turned around,” Percy explained. “I got them sorted and on their way.”

Eddie leaned in close to Steve. “You hear that, we’re a couple of college students.”

Steve snickered. “The only two of the party who aren’t going to go to college.”

They giggled together as they got in the car and drove off.

****

Pt 9|Pt 10|Pt 11|Pt 12

Tag List: @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @artiststarme @swimmingbirdrunningrock @gregre369 @pyrohonk ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @chaoticlovingdreamer @messrs-weasley @goodolefashionedloverboi @maya-custodios-dionach @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @danili666 @carlyv @rozzieroos @emly03 @wonderland-girl143-blog @justforthedead89 @bookworm0690 @itsall-taken @bookbinderbitch @redfreckledwolf @vecnuthy @littlewildflowerkitten @scheodingers-muppet @mira-jadeamethyst @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @gutterflower77 @genderless-spoon @hel-spawn @ellietheasexylibrarian @anne-bennett-cosplayer @mamafaithful @yikes-a-bee @dragonmama76 @flaming-reauxster

[siconetribal]

Put It On My Tab: Chapter 8

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!reader

Tag: @vbecker10 @wordsfromshona @harlequin-hangout @harpy-space @tild3ath @gone-batty-fics @princessbl0ss0m @dakotali

Warning: Epiphanies, violence, crime fighting, and staffing issues

Summary:

Everyone deserves time off, and the vigilantes of Gotham are no exception to the rule. The boys decide to take a weekend to let loose. Who knew a few drinks would lead to a stranger in bed?

Author Note:

Sorry about the delay, I wasn't sure on where to go with the story for some time, and health problems started popping up more and more. Things are still hectic, but hopefully manageable.

Personal matters aside, I hope you all continue to enjoy. Thank you for all your support always.

A big shout-out to my friend who is a manager of a facility much like Citlalli. How you handle the various incidents that you do with such grace is inspiring.

A huge thank you and shout out to @harlequin-hangout for the amazing banners you made for me.

If you’re new to the story, here is a link to the other parts:

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

It was moments like these that reminded him of the benefits of wearing his red helmet. The contents of his head remained intact and inside his skull at all times..

  Holy shit, she was the barista at the counter! Red Hood quickly got back up onto his feet, bobbing to dodge a hook before grabbing the bigger guy's sleeve, yanking the guy forward to grab his head. A sickening crunch followed by a cry of pain was satisfaction to the vigilante’s ears. The lumbering giant fell to his knees, holding his face. “It wasn’t that bad,” he scoffed, waiting for his opponent to get back up. The clang of metal was all he heard before watching the crook fall face-first into the pavement. “Now that, that would be pretty bad.” He shrugged, looking up at Nightwing. “You know I had him, right?”

“Is that what you call being plowed into a brick wall? I swear, the lingo of the youth these days.” The elder Robin ran a gloved hand through his hair, looking down at the unconscious bodies littered around. “Two, four, I think that’s all of them.” He nudged his foot into the one on his right, watching the body roll over. 

“Looks like it. Now we just gotta wrap ‘em up and drop ‘em off for the cops.” Red Hood motioned towards the street with his head. “I guess today wasn’t a total waste.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck. Dammit, I can’t believe I didn’t notice it sooner! This could’ve all been nicely packed and solved, stupid, stupid, stupid! He berated himself as they dragged the culprits to one of the nearby working lamp posts, tying them up. Clearly finding some Jane Doe of Gotham was not as easy as he thought, especially when he looked right at her and failed to realize it. His pride as a detective was bruised to a point that he was not sure if it would ever be restored. No way in hell I’m telling Grayson about that, I’ll really never hear the end of it. He glared at the guy with the broken nose. Once again, he was grateful that he wore a red helmet instead of a domino mask. His red cheeks and peeved expression was hidden to all except for himself as the two wrapped up for the evening.

Y/N lay crumpled and slouched on the old sofa of their apartment, exhausted and defeated. How many weeks had it been since all this started? How many more were left? She had just paid the first installment of the bill, a glorious moment, until she saw the damage to her bank account.

Life’s not fair, I get it, but this is cruel and unusual! She sighed for the umpteenth time, sinking into the old cushions a little deeper. He had to have noticed her, there was no way her attempts at anonymity were successful. Not to mention, he literally caught me falling! Ah, then there’s the stroke of genius Cici had. Really, a victim of Joker laughing gas?  Now he’s really going to think I’m insane and refuse to pay! Then again, maybe he’ll pity me enough and actually pay? He did leave a sizable tip between the two of us. She forced herself to sit up straight and crossed her legs.

“No, get it together! You need to talk to him and explain the situation. I’m sure we can come to a reasonable conclusion through proper discourse! We’re both adults, and he clearly has a savior/hero complex because he did help me at the bar. I’m sure he can be reasoned with when he’s not inebriated or asking a billion questions.” She nodded to herself. “The real issue is how do I find him and prove I’m not some nut case?” Her pursed lips slid side to side as she tried to figure out a method to meet up with him again.

Citlalli had suggested she just turn up at Wayne manor or Wayne Enterprises. It was a tempting option, but with her luck, Y/N had a feeling she was going to be labeled as the new arm candy of the billionaire playboy and that was nothing but trouble. The last thing either of them needed was a horde of paparazzi hounding them or breaking into their rickety apartment and potentially breaking whatever they got their hands on.

Was Bruce Wayne handsome? Yes, there was no denying that. But handsome hardly scratched the “worth it” surface. Just look at where she was stuck now thanks to one of his adopted children. No, good looks did not make things worth it, like Citlalli always said. It only made matters worse. “And triple-y so when a Wayne was involved.” She muttered. “What if he never returns to the coffee shop? It’s been a whole month since then and nada!” She threw her hands up in frustration and slouched on the couch once more. “Doesn’t help that Arkham_Knight has been MIA, too! None of the quests are as fun without him. But he did say he’s going to be out of town or something about no gaming access. I wonder if kicking Wonder Boy’s butt is still on the table if he knew who he was.” It was so very tempting to just give in to the siren call, but she knew better than that. For starters, it would ruin the dynamic between the two of them and one or both of them would end up in jail for attacking a trust fund kid like him.

Her thoughts were broken by the clatter of her phone vibrating on the coffee table. Grabbing the device, she hit the green button on the outdated device. “Hey Cici, what’s up?”

“Hey chica, where are you right now?” 

“At the apartment, sprouting on the couch like a potato, why?”

“Can you help me out, pretty please?” Y/N could hear the batting of her lashes through the phone.

“Hmmm, I dunno, I do have a pretty tight schedule between germination, wallowing in my financial crater, and staring out into the darkness.” Y/N tucked the phone between her shoulder and ear as she made her way into the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Oh, woe is you, so busy.” Citlalli scoffed. “Anyway, I really need your help! I just got word that Ryan had asked Stacy to cover his shift and she agreed. Neither of them confirmed that he would be taking up her shift today, and he's saying that he asked her but never agreed to pick up from her. Yes, it's stupid, and I’m going to have to sit these over privileged brats down and explain to them how swapping shifts work again. But, that's not the point! I need someone in today and I thought you may want to pick up some hours to save up faster. Are you able to?”

“Yeah, ok, I’ll head in. Thanks for the chance, I really appreciate it. You don’t worry your little curly head about this and just enjoy the weekend away with your family. Send me any open shifts, and I’ll cover where I can, cool?”

“Miha, you’re a lifesaver! Thank you so much!” Citllali quickly dissolved into heaps of praises and prayers in Spanish out of sheer relief before she finally hung up the call and texted the information.

Another Saturday night shift left unmanned because why would they honor the hours they said they'd work? Not like I can complain though, I’m hitting overtime now and that means more money for me to get these payments over with. She made her way down the narrow hallway to her bedroom, quickly getting changed into a simple black tee and jeans, with the café apron tucked away into her backpack as she locked up behind herself. 

The shift had started out busy, the store filled with students and professionals burning the night oil fueled by caffeine and pastries. But as the hours slowly ticked by, the number of in-store customers dwindled down alongside the drive-thru patrons. The moon was now up in place of the sun, and no one really dared to be out too late in this part of Gotham. Only the foolish and desperate, like herself, remained at work because the company insisted on a 24-hour shop to help spruce the town.

Did she want to be out here at night? No. Was being at home in the apartment alone any better? No. At least there was surveillance here. Any trouble that could happen would be recording, and she would be safe, sort of. Shrugging off self-preservation, Y/N began to sweep the floors to pass the time. It was better than standing at the counter waiting for no one to come in. It was another dead night, nothing serious was going to happen.

[wordborne]

All for Us

Jerome Valeska finds someone new to torment.

That someone is, unfortunately, you.

TAGS: Jerome Valeska/Reader, alternate universe, unhealthy relationships, bad decisions, canon-typical violence, major character death, eventual smut, Jerome can only be classified as nuisance to lover.

CHAPTER: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8/ 8

FANART BY baicalpascal 

Jerome was loud. Every time he came home, there was the snap of the door as he shut it. The jiggle of keys being tossed somewhere around the living room. The fridge opening and closing. His loud call of ‘honey, I’m home’ before he plopped on the bed next to you because, somehow, somewhere down the line, you’d woken up by his side and decided that’s what you wanted to do for the rest of your miserable days. 

“Sometimes I wish you hated me,” He said, trailing his hand down your cheek and leaving it there, cupping your jaw. He didn’t kiss you. He didn’t try anything else, either. He just stared.  You did the same, thumb caressing his cheek. He welcomed the touch with a grin. “Why’s that?” He shrugged. “Would make things easier.” “For you or for me?” “You.” “Since when do you care? “Touché.”

And, for that, you had to laugh before kissing him with the same ferocity he sometimes did, feeling his fingers flexing on instinct, the tenderness almost bruising now.

That’s the way Jerome loved. With imaginary bruises and pain. It was all he knew. All you ever wanted from him. And that little voice, the one that belonged in Arkham, basked in the feeling of his lips on yours. Told him you loved him, even if he stopped momentarily before kissing you harder.

“Of course you do.”

Of course.

How could you not?

It couldn’t be real.

But there it was, his name engraved in stone at last. The wind smelled almost sweet. And, in his chest, the pressure lessened the more he stared at the tombstone.

Jerome was finally dead.

He had to check for himself. To see the lone tombstone by a tree. It was almost poetic, seeing such a quiet resting place for someone like his brother.

Jeremiah wondered who’d made it so.

It was hard to recognize yourself in the mirror. Your eyes were rimmed red, the bags under them darker than ever. You’d cried until there was nothing but emptiness inside, and it still wasn’t enough. They took him away from you, said that little voice from Arkham, but you knew that, this time, it was spewing lies. He’d done it himself. You saw the footage. Him hanging on by a pipe. Detective Gordon’s hand reaching out to get him. And he’d let himself fall. He’d let himself fucking fall without even thinking about it and- A broken sob escaped your lips. Did he even think about you, in those brief moments before he let go? Was he selfless enough to think about anyone other than himself for one fucking second? Maybe he didn’t. Maybe he did. But it didn’t matter now. You’d heard rumors about a new tombstone and ventured out into the graveyard, finding it surrounded by some of Jerome’s groupies, smoking and drinking. And you weren’t thinking straight when you took the gun out of your pocket and aimed it directly at the first person you saw. “Leave. And take all that shit with you.” Venom spewed out of every word as they hurriedly picked up cigarette butts and empty beer bottles strewn around the grave, as if it was a place to party. Not to mourn. Just another landmark for them to hang out. Smiling. Laughing. It made your blood boil until every last one of them left, tail tucked between their legs, nervously looking at the gun and grumbling that you were no fun before you sat down in the grass beside Jerome. Here lies Jerome Valeska. Second time’s the charm!  “Fucking asshole.” And the tears were rolling again as you decided to laid down, staring into the cloudy sky, hoping that rain would come and swallow you whole so the tears would finally feel like something other than sorrow. Little pinpricks of cold. A bucketful of ice-cold realization.  Everything changed but nothing had changed at all. And that’s what hurt the most. Ruffled feet were heard. Quiet. Hesitant. Powerful. You raised your head and felt the image take your breath away.

He was there. Like a ghost. Skittish. Not scarred. Hair parted in a way you’ve never seen it before. He looked like the boy in the news, nose red, crying about his mother. But he was wearing glasses, and he avoided your eyes, frowning at the new tombstone as a woman stuck to his side. Impassive. Tense. Muscles taught just like the ones in your neck as you strained to look at them. He looked like Jerome. But he wasn’t. Wrong. Said the voice at the back of your head. And you agreed. He was wrong in a way you wanted to see more of. To see if you could catch a glimpse of Jerome in his eyes instead of the impeccable suit and tie. But you recognized him from those long nights where Jerome would let his mouth loose, talking about this and that. About his brother. Twin brother. “Fuck off, Jeremiah. You’re not welcome here.” And, with that, you were back to staring at the sky, still sprawled, seeing their presence on the corner of your eye.  The woman took a step forward and tossed something on the ground. You didn’t even flinch until Jeremiah spoke up. “I don’t want it. Figured whoever was here would.” You didn’t look at it until they left. Fingers closing in on worm leather, customized by colorful stickers that spelled Jerome Valeska. You held it with reverence. Looking at the pictures. Speaking over failed and successful plans. Stopping when you saw a crude drawing of yourself, x’s for eyes. I should kill her. She’s fun, I guess. No, she’s stupid. She gave me a key. She’s mine. I’ll bury her with me like the Egyptians did with the cats.

She’ll never get over me. Isn’t that a punch in the gut?

Even in death he was a pain in the ass. But how could you not feel your heart being ripped apart the more you scanned the pages. Saw his shitty handwriting and little drawings of things you had at home. The black and white tiles. The static from the TV. The stock image in the picture frame you kept in the living room to make it seem livelier.  He noticed. He noticed every single thing. Every imperfection. Every space even when he was away, forever recreated in those pages that you held close to your face as tears threatened to fall again. And he was right. You’d never get over him. Jerome Valeska wasn’t someone who you could get over. He wormed his way into your heart like a parasite, draining it for all it was worth. Blood. Pain. Tears.  Life had to go on. But not for now. Tonight you’d stay there, clutching his diary and looking at his tombstone, just like you did on the rare moments he fell asleep before you. With peace, and kindness, and everything he wasn’t and you wished he never was. And maybe. Just maybe. That gray piece of concrete would say third time’s the charm one day.

[lerya-fanfic]

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

Thanks @theladygia for the tag, sorry I’m responding so late! 1. Wanted: Nakama (chapter 33/100)

One Piece || diverse pairings (more of a ficlet collections really)

Dragon didn’t know what pushed him to come to shore this time around. No matter how many times he was close to his home island, he feared stepping foot on it. Just to make sure that Luffy was safe, that Luffy wouldn’t be connected to him but instead enjoy the protection of having a vice-admiral Grandfather.

2.  I always dreamed of this moment, to see you all again after we parted (chapter 3/25)

Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin || Eren & Zeke, more to follow

After that traumatic experience was over, all three former shifters did wonder why Carla didn’t remember anything from her previous life. They were happy about it too, especially Grisha and Eren, as neither wanted her to remember being eaten.

3.  Once an Ootsutsuki, always an Ootsutsuki (chapter 41/60)

Naruto || Indra & Asura, Indra & Asura & Bijuu

Kiri was healing, even just a few weeks after Yagura handed over the hat to Mei, it was clear that things were changing. That their people were realising something was going on that made it all better, made sure to give them all another chance at life.

4.  When a King revives his throne (chapter 19/25)

Bleach || Kisuke Uruhara/Ichigo Kurosaki

Feeling someone approach before the door is opened again, Ichigo’s didn’t even break the kiss as a gasp sounds from whoever is standing in the door opening. He doesn’t feel like moving, but relents when he noticed Kisuke stops kissing back. Leaning back to finally turn to the door, only to bling at the man he finds standing there.

5.  Favored by Fire

One Piece ||  Ace & Sabo & Luffy

In the aftermath of Wano, and apparently awakening his devil fruit, Luffy didn’t tell his crew that he was feeling different from before. It wasn’t even a bad thing, even if the recuperation time he needed after using gear 5 was much more than all of his other gears combined.

6.  Forever and a Day, A Nakama Fanfic (chapter 44/50)

One Piece || LawLu, MarAce, SaboAla, ZoSan

Getting onto Zunisha proved a lot less difficult if you knew what you needed to do. Between Katakuri, Law, Luffy, Ace, Sabo and Marco they had everyone up there in no time, tilting up an eyebrow when the little Mink at the gates tried to stop them. At least until he saw Ace and Marco and waved them on as if seeing legends for the first time. With how small he was, that might have been the case too.

7.  Of course we're doing this together again.

One Piece || LawLu, MarAce, SaboAla, ShanksBenn

Law had a feeling he should be expecting this when he opened the door to the restaurant they had booked for their Valentine’s date, rolling his eyes when Shanks and Benn looked up from the table no doubt close to theirs as the older men were sitting.

8.  It was there all along, growing in the background

One Piece || ZoLu

It grew from every interaction they had, ever since Luffy came to get him in Shells Town and asked him to become his nakama. He never expected to develop feelings for his childish captain, who when it mattered was a force to be reckoned on. A true captain as the word suggested. More than able to stand up to foes that he should have fallen against.

9.  Counting down until the moment I get to meet you

One Piece || Esuka

Isuka cherished the counter on her wrist, even more once it was just her. When her mother and brothers had been killed in the fire caused by pirates. She had a hard time accepting that she was alone. Wouldn’t accept it either, not as long as she still had that counter running to the moment she would meet her soulmate.

10.  Happy Birthday, Little bird

One Piece || Ace/Marco/OC

Ray groaned as the light from the one window in their room steadily became brighter, and awareness came slow. Only fully waking him up when he realizes there are no other bodies in bed with him.

Tagging, if they want to do this: @phoenixkaizen-writes @cyborg-franky @arielxlazarus @xamaxenta , have fun if you choose you do this! 

[reki-of-the-valley]

Summer Time (Family) Madness

Look, I'm very aware that I've been dead recently but I promise, it won't be forever. It's just a slow season year for me, y'know? But hey, after months of not working on this, I hope the rewrite of this chapter will be what does it for me and gets me back into writing!!

First | < Previous | Chapter 3 | Next >

AO3 | Original Chapter 1  | Original Chapter 2 | Original Chapter 3 | Original Chapter 4 | Original Chapter 5 | Original Chapter 6

“What are you doing?”

Langa blinked down at the girl. She looked comfortable, really comfortable. A little too comfortable even with the dark pink face mask that made her look a little bit like an alien and her soft-looking pink pajamas that stood out against Langa’s fading blue blanket. She looked as comfortable as if she were at home. Except she wasn’t. This wasn’t her home. This wasn’t her room. This wasn’t her bed. No, this was Langa’s bed, the very bed he had been getting ready for.

 “Just getting ready for bed.”

Emily grinned as she flipped to the side, somehow seeming to get even more comfortable. She nestled her phone next to her, perfectly settled there for her to easily scroll through her typical content: makeup tutorials, hair styling reels, dance videos, and the occasional pretty actor or fictional boy. She had made herself right at home, which could have been a good thing had it not been in Langa’s space.

“That’s my bed.” Langa said, his voice utterly devoid of amusement as he crossed his arms over his chest. “We set up the couch for you until we find you an air mattress or something.”

The phone fell over as the girl flopped onto her back, pulling a pillow into her chest and burying her nose into it. Her voice came out as a muffled whine, sounding more pathetic than ever.

“But the couch is uncomfy!” Pleading brown eyes peered over the pillow in an attempt to make Langa feel bad. “And Auntie Nanako said I can take your bed if you sleep out since you’re gone like half of the week. Probably off cuddling your boyfriend or something.”

“He’s not my boyfriend.”

The words escaped him before he could even imagine what a response of the sort could entail, and, given the smile on Emily’s face, it had entailed something. She was thinking of something, something that was clearly wrong, but it was something nonetheless. It was something that she was going to hold over his head for as long as she could, that was for sure.

“Whatever you say, but you’re still not denying that you cuddle with him, so…” Langa opened his mouth to object, but no sound came out, leaving Emily with an even wider grin as she shooed him away, the pillow now falling to the ground. “Go! Go sleep with him! Let me get a bit of beauty sleep!”

“I—” Heat spread across Langa’s cheeks, but he was not going to let it leave him tongue-tied. He was not going to let Emily win this battle – not that it was a battle to begin with. “I can’t just show up at his door and expect him to let me in! I don’t live there!”

Emily raised an eyebrow at Langa, an unimpressed look in her eyes. So they both knew that was a lie; Langa had never been the best liar, after all. They both knew that Reki would let him in, no matter the time. And in the worst-case scenario, Langa could just sneak through Reki’s window – which was never locked – but that sounded far too much like some teen drama cliché, and he was not about to become the leading role in Emily’s favorite show.

The girl flopped back down into the nest she had created for herself, repositioning the phone on her left. Her alien face was out of Langa’s sight, but still, she wasn’t gone. Blond locks engulfed the pillow that Langa knew to be perfect for him, leaving him even more annoyed than he had been when he had first walked into his room. But the voice, the squeak of smugness, was his true breaking point.

“Well, off you go!” Emily waved her hand without even bothering to look at Langa. “I have a big day tomorrow, so I would highly enjoy some good ol’ beauty sleep.”

Langa sighed, finally accepting his defeat. Maybe he could sleep on the couch tonight. Or he could tell his mother about his stolen bed. He could probably do something about the situation at hand, but still, Emily had a point. Maybe Reki’s place really was the best option. Or maybe it was just that going to Reki was always his solution and that was why he was mindlessly stuffing stray pieces of clothes into his bag. He was far too used to going to Reki that his body had memorized the routine.

“One of these days, I’m gonna kick you.”

The mutter was mostly for him, but he knew that Emily had heard him. He knew from the fact that she was grinning on her – no, his – pillow, from the fact that her eyes quickly flickered between his face and her phone, from the fact that she was talking, her tone light and mocking.

“Can’t wait to see that day come.” Her snickering was muffled into the pillow, her brown eyes glowing with a burning undercut insult. “Because we both know that it’ll never happen, you klutz. You’ll break your leg trying.”

Langa didn’t bother answering the girl; flipping her off would only fuel her bratty little attitude and would give her a reason to make a scene. The last thing he needed was another excuse for her to come at him. So he simply huffed as he threw his bag over his shoulder and walked out of his room, phone in hand. It was almost unconscious, his fingers gliding over Reki’s name and sending him a text without context.

Finally got kicked out of my own home

Can I crash at yours tonight?

It seemed that Reki was on his phone rather than doing the homework he had promised to do. The answers came back far too quickly, and even if he had claimed he was “just taking a quick break,” Langa knew that was a lie. Not Reki nor Langa acknowledge the homework that would eventually have to be done. Instead, concerned texts buzzed in Langa’s hand, little bubbles appearing and disappearing faster than the best S skater around each corner of the track. And with each text, Langa had to bite his lip, trying his best to keep the laughter locked away. He couldn’t wake his mother up, especially not via the sound of his shoes hitting the floor for the fifth time in an attempt to tie them. Damned bunny ear laces were finally failing him after nearly 15 years of doing it on the daily. Or maybe it was his brain that was failing him, too busy pounding with Reki Reki Reki

What do you mean kicked out?????

Langa???

What happened??

Did your mom find out about S??????

Is she kicking you out because of S???

Because of skateboarding???

Because of all the sneaking out????

Are you being kicked out beCAUSE OF ME?????

LANGAAAAAAAAAA ANSWER MEEEEEE

LANGAAAAAA

LANGAAAAAAAA

Skateboard in one hand, phone in the other, Reki’s words were the only thing that lit up the night and Langa’s smile. A stifled laughter echoed in the streets as Langa hit send and pocketed the phone. Wheels scrapped against the pavement as he pushed forward, thinking of the possible faces Reki might have been making, staring at his phone.

So can I crash at yours?

-----

When Langa had asked if he could crash at Reki’s, he hadn’t meant it literally. But seeing Reki’s face light up as he approached the window, seeing his eyes sparkle under the soft light of his lamp, seeing his whole face light up as soon as he came into view, Langa forgot everything he had practiced in the last year. He had forgotten that his board wouldn’t magically stop when he came close to colliding with something. He forgot that he was the one that had to control his movement. He forgot that the wheels under his feet weren’t fixed to the ground.  Hell, he had even forgotten how to breathe for a moment! But only for a moment, because by the next, he was slipping off his board, the death trap flying across the room and crashing into the wall while his forehead collided with the top of Reki’s window.

Everything had gone hazy from that point on. Langa could hear Reki’s mother shouting from another room, somewhere in the distance, but what she had said, he couldn’t tell. And Reki. He had been right there, right next to Langa, but then he was far, peaking his head out of the door and whisper-shouting an apology. Something about falling off his bed? Langa couldn’t tell what that was about.

“Dude, Langa!” His voice was distant, but his eyes were right there, big with a wild panic. He was right there, but he also seemed so far away which was unfortunate. Langa liked having the boy right next to him. He liked him too much to let him fade out. “Dude, what the hell? Why didn’t you stop?”

Langa grunted, a throbbing pain shooting through his head. Why hadn’t he stopped? That was a good question and Langa didn’t have an answer for it. He couldn’t remember why he hadn’t stopped. He was always so good at stopping; it’s how he had made it this far without badly fucking up. But all this thinking, all this searching for an answer, it made his head hurt. Thinking hurt, and Langa just didn’t like doing it.

“Dude,” Reki’s hand was warm against Langa’s cheek. It was so warm and comforting. “Why didn’t you stop?”

Oh, right. “S’cause I like you.”

-----

Langa blinked a few times. It was suddenly a lot darker than he remembered. Sure, it wasn’t early when he had left his place, his mother and the near-entirety of the Kyan family were already fast asleep, but it wasn’t this late. Had he fallen asleep? When had that happened? He remembered getting to Reki’s house, but the rest of the night? Nothing. Blank. Nothing but Reki. Reki…

Instinctively, Langa touched his eyebrow, right where a hot pain had started to form again. The feeling of a bandage under his fingertips had become a familiar one over the last couple of months, but he didn’t remember having one on his face. At least, not recently. He hadn’t had any bad falls in months. The most he would get would be little scraps and cuts on his hands and knees which Reki always insisted on patching up for him. Reki had always fussed over him, Reki who had his arm over him, squirming under his sheets. Next to Langa. Bed. Shit.

The boy sat up, rubbing his eyes. His figure was barely distinguishable against the darkness, but Langa had memorized him. He memorized the way his bed hair was always a mess, strands sticking out uncontrollably. He had memorized how Reki always rubbed the sleep out of his right eye. He had memorized everything that was Reki.

“You okay there, dude?”

Reki’s weight was comfortable against Langa’s shoulder. He was warm and soft, almost melting into the boy. And the proximity, it left Langa with an irregular heartbeat, a pounding that echoed in his ears. Could Reki hear it? Could he feel it? There was no way of knowing since there was no way that Langa was going to ask him.

“Yeah, great.”

Langa cringed at the pitchiness of his whisper. Shame coated his squeak, a sound he had never heard come out of his mouth. A sound he had wished had never left his body. Ever.

“You busted your eyebrow.” Reki tentatively covered the yawn that escaped him before moving closer to Langa, if that were even possible. His calloused fingers brushed against Langa’s forehead, sending shivers down his spine. “Blood ‘nd all, then bam! Passed out cold. Patched you up, don’t worry ‘bout it. Even kissed it better!”

Fucked didn’t even begin to describe Langa’s state. From start to finish, he was fucked. Not only had he somehow managed to forget everything Reki had taught him about skating and his special awareness in general, resulting in a split eyebrow thanks to the window, but he had also somehow missed his chance at being conscious as Reki planted a kiss to his wound. That is if Reki actually did do as he said. But knowing Reki and how much he believed in the magic of “kissing it better,” he most probably did kiss his eyebrow, whispering to the wound to heal quickly. And Langa missed it. Langa missed it because of his stupid phobia of his own blood. Just the smell of it was enough to get him to black out, which was what probably happened. Just the idea of his own blood left him feeling dizzy, but not for long. With Reki’s hands on his shoulders, it wasn’t hard to snap back to reality.

“Whoa, dude! Stay with me.” Pretty sounds bubbled out of Reki as he flopped back down onto his mattress. “It was a pain in the ass to haul you up on the bed, and I’m not down to do it all over again. You know,” Langa watches as Reki settled against his pillow, probably trying to find a comfortable position, “you’re a lot heavier than you seem. All skinny and boney but still heavy as hell.”

“I’m,” Langa gulped,” trying his best to extinguish the wildfire that started to spread across his face and ears. A silent prayer left his parted lips, a hope that the darkness would conceal his shameful blush. “I’m not that heavy. And…” And what? What could he possibly say to Reki? What could he say that wouldn’t sound too stupid? “You could’ve left me on the floor or something. Not like I would’ve noticed. I was out cold anyway.”

Reki shifted under the sheets, turning to face Langa as he propped himself up on his elbows. “Nah, I couldn’t just leave you on the floor. You would’ve woken up with a sore neck or something and then you would’ve whined about it all day tomorrow. But it’s late, dude.” He was pretty as he snuggled his pillow, getting ready for bed once more. “C’mere.” His arms opened, as if he were beckoning Langa closer. “Bed’s not big enough for the two of us.”

Reki had to know what he was doing to Langa. He had to be aware of the tightness he was causing in Langa’s chest. And the racing of his heart. He had to know that he was killing him from within with his stupid little grabby hands and his attempts to pull Langa into his arms. He had to be conscious of it all. There was no way he was that oblivious.

Reluctantly – or at least, that was what Langa was trying to go for – Langa settled against the pillows, letting Reki wrap his arms around his shoulders. The scent of Reki filled the air surrounding Langa, sweet orange and a dash of sweat. Reki filled every corner of Langa’s mind as he let himself melt under the other boy’s touch, snuggling closer to his chest.

This is how I die. Or I’m finally going to wake up and this is all just a dream.

Reki shifted against him, somehow cuddling even closer. Langa didn’t know what was more unbearable: being pressed against his best friend’s chest or dreaming of being pressed against Reki, breathing him in, letting him fill Langa’s lungs.

“Oh,” Langa could feel the ride and fall of Reki’s chest as she spoke, more cuddling as he got comfortable. “You said something in English, which, by the way, was really rude! I actually understood you, dude! For once! And I know we’ve said we’re basically the same, but I’ll have you know that I would never crash my head against your window frame! I am the one who taught you how to skate, after all! I’m not useless on a board! But I still don’t get why you didn’t stop.”

Basically the same… what had Langa-?

“Fuck.”

[thedo0zyslider]

Explosions Across Lifetimes - Chapter 6: Getting Over It - 2k words

A03 link

Scott and Jimmy have a talk, it goes a little better than expected honestly.

Some notes!

This chapter feels a lil rough around the edges to me. I knew it needed to happen, but didn't have the right ideas to execute it perfectly (as evidenced by the word count being only 2k when these are usually 3-7k) i kinda just wanted to get it done lol The others will be not as rough though!! as i have some clear ideas for those!! Hope you enjoy nonetheless :D

Btw, how would you guys feel about some prequels? Specially involving the Jimmy-Fwhip rivalry and a pov of Scott throughout this whole series (which i need. bc his characterization feels a bit of a mess to me here. please also note the newly added scosage tag that i want to sink my teeth into a bit more) i also have quite a few what-if scenarios regarding the s1 finale (and what we have of 2's lol)

ALSO ALSO if you guys have any songs the fic (or just fwhimmy in general) remind you of please drop them below!! got a sudden urge to find some of those!!

NOW ONTO THE FIC!!

The Codfather saw Scott fairly soon after Fwhip’s little collapse, only meeting a week after. He stayed in Grimlands until the Count was back to his usual self again, spouting some sort of bullshit excuse to his council members all the while. He had scheduled a meeting with the Rivendells ruler though. Fwhip’s venting of the situation made Jimmy realize that enough was enough. All three of them needed to consult the issues at hand, and ignoring it was obviously not helping.

He’d made sure to dress warmly, very familiar with the too cold climate of Rivendell. It didn’t bother him as much as it used to and Jimmy could handle extreme temperature changes (which was probably a demigod thing to be honest,) but he was still a fish, and fish weren’t meant to be in below freezing weather, godly powers or not. Didn’t help that elven ice magic tended to make the kingdom colder than it actually was.

Jimmy wore a variation of his usual Codfather attire, just with a long, somewhat fluffy coat around his shoulders and winter pants, accommodated with black gloves and boots often used for things like mountain climbing. He quite liked how he looked in this outfit, the cod had to admit. It gave him a certain elegance he wasn’t known to have. If the biting wind ever started to numb his face he could pull the Codfather’s head down to protect it. The garment was usually worn atop the head like a normal hat was, the tail trailing down the current owner's neck, but it could also be worn like a mask. It was usually used as a mask for things like battles and ceremonies, so his fellow emperors had seen Jimmy with the hat down plenty of times. The little black eyes weren't actually eyes, though they appeared to be, they were eye holes covered by tinted fabric, serving as an extra shield for the cod leader’s eyes.

The outfit notified his citizens that he was traveling to Rivendell, as going to the Crystal cliffs only really required the coat and thicker pants. Gem’s amethysts and lack of ice magic kept her kingdom at a survivable temperature than her neighbor.

He was given words of encouragement from his citizens as he set off, some children even giving him good luck charms on his way out. The Codfather smiled at the action, taking the small items and making sure the cod children saw that their gifts were securely held in his jacket pocket. Cod folk always liked giving gifts to people for difficult events or days, and they certainly knew of recent events in the emperor's circle. Every citizen in all twelve empires probably knew, which was bad. It was bad for Scott and Rivendell’s image, and Jimmy hoped any blame would be directed at the elven king rather than his citizens, since they had been unaware of the rulers' secret keeping. It was also bad because Sausage and Joey probably knew, since both of them could be whores for gossip. And if they knew then Xornorth knew, and they’d lost a potential upper hand against the demon.

Caleb accompanied him just past the wall surrounding their home. It was mostly to keep the children following them in the empire, and to give Jimmy some last words of encouragement, because Cod knows he needed it. He planned to walk a little ways, then began flying at some point, his elytra uncomfortable strapped against his jacket. It was mostly because he wanted to delay the inevitable just a little bit longer, and he hadn’t given a concrete date for the meeting, just that he’d show up when he showed up. Rivendell was used to surprise visits from Codfolk anyways, they knew he didn’t like any sort of formal preparation.

They reached the wall, and Jimmy bent down to flash a toothy grin at the few kids still following, fondly ruffling some hair as well. Caleb bid Jimmy his goodbye quickly before ushering the cod children back within the safety of the wall, picking up a partially rowdy one while the other two were herded in front of him. The Codfather took a moment to giggle at the sight, before turning around and stepping foot outside the kingdom, the wall’s gate creaking shut behind him. It was a shame the children had to leave so early, he wouldn’t have minded letting them go a little father. The trip was just bringing the group a little too close to Mythland for Jimmy’s liking.

He never traveled through Mythland, since he and Sausage were usually enemies. Normally he traveled just outside the border, right on the line where it became taboo to attack him, because he wasn’t technically in their agreed upon border. Not even Fwhip, back when they were enemies, could justify Sausage attacking what was, by a law, a traveling emperor with a right for safe passage, if they were not breaking any agreed upon travel regulations. The only way those could be broken were by diplomatic missions, such as trade deals, which Jimmy had used the day he and Fwhip had their little….realization. Attacking a person traveling through neutral ground would just be an asshole move, though these sorts of political debates were normally avoided by use of elytra.

But today he would not risk Sausage’s wrath, and wouldn’t until the demon issues were resolved. He gave Mythland a wide breadth, which led him straight through Mangrovia, the neutral territory for all empires that was uncomfortably close to Joey. He’d decided to fly over that part of the land though, as this outfit was meant for the opposite of the humid jungle air. He’d walk the rest of the way there, which was fine by him. The elves would probably prefer to see him approach after recent tensions anyways.

He considered making a detour to House Blossom, an empire that he could travel through, since Katherine’s kingdom was basically Mangrovia 2.0 due to her alliances. Jimmy made excuses to himself, like he didn’t see Katherine that often, or that he needed some of her export, but he knew he just wanted to delay the inevitable. The one excuse he made that actually somewhat worked was talking to Katherine about Scott. The two were best friends, so she could probably talk him through things, and knowing the elf he definitely needed that right now. He’d do that later though, on his way back. Jimmy had taken enough detours.

He climbed the cold mountains of Rivendell a little slower than he liked, as the area was seemingly more cold than it normally was. The weather seemed to shift with Scotts mood; Jimmy had noticed, and the elf’s mood was probably pretty sour as of late. The Codfather mask was flipped down pretty soon after entering the biome, the icy cold breaking the cod ruler’s skin after only a moment. The place was definitely feeling the effect of Scott’s emotions.

The codfolk reached the elven kingdom within a day, guards escorting him to the palace as soon as he stepped foot in the lower part of the city. It was a familiar routine, being happily greeted into his allies kingdom and led to either Scott’s house or the royal castle. Except for a small amount of tension filling the air the moment was sickeningly familiar, and if Jimmy closed his eyes he could imagine that it was a different time and he was here for a much happier reason.

Scott’s private residence seemed off limits for this visit, even though Jimmy would’ve preferred that more than the palace. The walls of that place had a lot of ears, it was no such place for whatever conversation the two emperors were about to have but Jimmy supposed he;d have to endure just this once. Though he did wince at the startled look some royal advisors and even guards gave him as he walked past. The Codfather’s head was apparently very intimidating when flipped downward, but Jimmy didn’t really look himself in the mirror before battle, so he wasn’t sure how much truth that held.

He was led to Scotts meeting room, since the elven king seemed to be hauled up in his palace; presumably drowning in his own misery if the weather said as much. It took a little coaxing, and announcing Jimmy’s presence, for Scott to shove away his sour attitude and open the door.

“Scott.” The codfolk said, only after the door had slammed shut behind him. The other ruler was sitting in a chair, looking half dead on his feet. He clearly hadn’t been resting properly, and Jimmy had a momentary flash of Fwhip just a few days prior.

“Codfather.” The elf responded and Jimmy winced at the other man’s tone. He sat down in a chair near the ruler, musing that just because Scott felt terrible didn’t mean he had to act terrible as well. “We’ve been through too much for the cold formalities, petal.” Jimmy returned the others biting tone, throwing in the old nickname for more effect, and maybe to remind both of them just why exactly Jimmy was here. It worked though, because Scott full body winced at his words.

“You know why I’m here.” The Codfather said after a long moment of silence, pulling his jacket around himself more tightly. He didn’t want to have this conversion, and especially not in the cold; the faster it happened then the better it was for both of them.

Scott sighed, a tried kind of sound, resting his head against his hands briefly. “Go ahead, ask whatever questions you need to.” It was a bit unsettling to see him so compliant, Scott was never compliant. He was usually the one asking questions and shooting sassy remarks. Jimmy pushed the uneasiness away through, taking his chance to spit some more venom at his disgraced ex.

“Why did you lie to us? To me ?” The Codfather tipped his mask up slightly, allowing Scott to see his expression in full. He shivered from the ever persistent and getting colder iciness in the air.

“I..didn’t know how to go about it really,” Scott murmured, slowly meeting the gaze of his fellow emperor. “It’s kinda a whole thing ,” He made a hand gesture along with the last word, scrunching up his face as if the word didn’t describe the situation properly. “When you suddenly remember you grew up with a whole sibling and then finding out their evil and corrupted and want you dead. I didn’t know how to process it, so I did the easiest thing. I didn’t say anything.”

“Which led to you lying .” Jimmy finished, hissing out the last word.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you-”

“But you did,” It was getting harder by the minute for the Codfather to keep his voice steady. If the other noticed how it wavered with hurt he didn’t acknowledge it outside of another small wince.

“I know.” Scott said, searching his disgruntled ex’s gaze almost desperately. “I’m sorry, I really am.” Jimmy could tell he was sincere at least, by the look he was being given. The cod did still have one last question though, one that had been bothering him. He hoped the answer wouldn't be yes; that would complicate…well, everything .

“Do you still love me?”

“No. I don’t. You were right.” The elf admitted, blushing a bit despite himself. “It’s not real,” His voice was confident and reassuring, yet he still fiddled with his hands anxiously.

“I wish it was ,” Scott added quietly. Part of Jimmy used to wish that too, before a month ago, before Fwhip. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it quickly, letting a small silence fill the room. The cod focused on a part of the wall, wondering where they would be if it was real.

“I don’t think I was processing that well either.” Rivendell’s leader spoke again. “On top of all the brother stuff.”

Clearly. Jimmy thought, but didn’t say aloud. Now wasn’t the time for sarcasm. “I didn’t process it well either, to be fair. I did start avoiding you a bit near the end.” He said instead, admitting to his own fault in the relationship. “It’s a bit of a mindfuck to realize you're feeling emotions that aren't really yours,” Scott just hummed and nodded in response.

“I’m happy for you though,” The elf said with a small smile. “You and Fwhip.”

“….Thanks,” Jimmy took a moment to respond, a bit surprised. He didn’t think Scott was bitter per say, just that he was still getting over everything. The Codfather wasn’t sure if he’d congratulate Scott so soon if their roles were reversed, but Scott wasn’t him. Maybe this was one thing Scott wouldn’t be petty over, though he was never actually petty over anything that mattered this much in the first place.

“Sorry for after the meeting, by the way.” The elf kept talking, not letting Jimmy get a word in edgewise. “I guess I’m just still-”

“Getting over it?” Jimmy managed to cut through the other mans rambling, echoing his earlier thoughts.

“Yeah,” Scott smiled lightly again. “Getting over it.”

They talked for another hour, maybe less than that, neither were checking the time much. The cod empire was to uphold all current trades with Rivendell, which was a pleasant surprise to its king. Scott had been expecting at least one trade agreement of lesser significance to be revoked, and Jimmy had very heavily considered it. But his people weren’t known for their riches, and it was important to keep whatever deals they could. So with much debate and discussion between his own thoughts and his council, Jimmy had decided to only break the few agreements from Mythland; ones from the earlier days and the singular totem trade he had with the Lost Empire. Those two were dangerous, and Scott wasn’t dangerous. He was just a liar. Not a good thing to be, and the king was certainly paying for it tenfold without Jimmy.

He forgot what else they talked about other than politics, because that was most of what they talked about. There was still a bit of tension in the air, some stiffness to their interactions despite the earlier conversation. They weren’t friends again, not fully, and Jimmy was still unsure on how much of Scott’s word he should trust. He could tell the elf had a bit of a fake smile as well, like he was forcing happiness into his expression. The air outside was still bitterly cold.

But all in all Jimmy left the cod empire more reassured than he had been when he arrived, yet not at the same time. There was no progress on what to do about the demon, nor had the other emperors consulted each other much about the lies they’d been fed from Rivendell’s king. They were at a standstill, them and the demon it seemed. No one wanted to make the first move, to mess it up, to play a wrong move on the chessboard that was the state of the world right now. Everything was in Scott’s hands really, if Jimmy thought about it. Which he certainly was doing on his return journey, cod mask once more flicked dowards to avoid his ex’s sharp winter weather that had gotten worse since he left the meeting.

Scott knew the most about his brother, even if it was limited. The only ones who might know more were possessed by Xornorth. Scott had all the power here, what moves to make and how to approach it was all up to him, simply because no one else knew what to do. This was ancient Rivendell magic connected to Gods , not anything that was universally taught in the Crystal Cliffs. All Jimmy and his fellow rulers could do was ward off the corruption in the lands, only for it to come back bigger and stronger the next day.

As if sensing his inner troubles the wind picked up around him. The Codfather tightened his coat around him again and made sure his mask fully covered his face, not letting even a small shiver pierce him.

Somehow, it felt like the storm was only just beginning.

[theshelbyclan]

Partners in Crime

Summary: Against Polly’s advice, Tommy decides the only way to deal with Teddy is to involve her in the business to some degree (part 10)

(gif by @retromafia​)

A/N: After the last fluffy chapter, I couldn’t really go back to Teddy being kept out of the loop forever. Besides, I think we all know that eventually Teddy will be the one who will take of the business XD Also, there’s a lot of tea in this chapter, maybe my cravings are becoming a bit too apparent… Either way, a lot is happening in the episode, so another tumultuous one. Let me know what you think! Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 / Part 9 / Part 10 Words: 4168 ***

Every morning at 5 AM, the milk man did his rounds, even in Small Heath. Many people couldn’t afford it, but for those that could, he went passed the houses and delivered directly from the milk cans. Oftentimes, kids hung around him, trying to earn a penny by helping him carry the heavy cans. Sometimes, he indulged them. Even during the war, the milk round remained on of the few aspects of normal life that continued on. Teddy used to run after him ever since she’d learned of his existence, because in those years, when people had too much on their minds, no one noticed a five-year-old little girl. But Teddy wasn’t after a job for the day; she used to try and steal a bottle from the back of the cart, often succeeding as well. 

Now the Shelby’s were richer and more powerful, so there was no longer any need to steal milk. But old habits die hard, which was why Teddy proudly came walking into the kitchen with a bottle of milk. John grinned broadly at her and pulled her onto his lap. “Just what I needed,” he said, “Only bloody barbarians drink their tea without milk, right?”

“John?” Teddy asked, “Where’s Arthur? Is he with dad?” “Don’t call him ‘dad’,” John’s face fell, “He’s not your dad, alright? He left mum even before you were born and hasn’t come back since. We needed him then and he fucking left us.” Teddy had about a million questions, but she sensed that John didn’t like to talk about it. Of course, Teddy had always known her father was a bad man and after meeting him, all of her suspicions were confirmed. Still, he was her father and his absence had left something aching inside of her. She’d never known her mother either, she’d died weeks after her birth, but she knew of her. This all meant that Teddy Shelby was effectively an orphan, and as much as she loved her brothers and aunt, she could never be entirely whole.

“What was he like?” Teddy couldn’t contain herself. John sighed and eventually answered, “He beat the shit out of us, Teddy. Always gone, always drunk and when he was at home, his anger made the woodwork groan. Mum bore the brunt of it, Tommy sometimes tried to distract him, to spare her a little. Arthur looked up to him in a way, but he got beaten the most. Something about being the oldest. Dad always was fucking with his head.” “What about you and Ada?” “We became good at hiding,” John chewed his toothpick and squinted a little, “Ada used to crawl under the table and refused to come out until he’d been gone for over an hour. One time, I tried to get him off mum and he held my hand against the furnace until it started smoking,” John held us his hand and for the first time, Teddy noticed the old scars, still visible. “He’s not a good man, Teddy.” “What’s this?” Aunt Polly demanded as she entered, “Why are you telling her about him?” “She asked, Aunt Polly.” Teddy bowed her head and tried to find a way to deal with all of these confliction emotions, but it wasn’t easy for the ten-year-old. Polly looked sternly at her and shortly said, “Forget about him. He’s my brother and I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire.”

“But I want a dad too!” Teddy suddenly called out, emotion exploding out. Polly leaned over the youngest Shelby, not in an intimidating manner, but just to make herself very clear, “You’ve got brothers, Teddy, and trust me, they’re a lot more fucking valuable than that sad excuse for a man.”

“We not good enough for you?” John joked. “Yeah, you are…” Teddy smiled up at him, not wanting to make him upset. Polly looked from John to Teddy and filled in the blanks out loud, “But it’s not the same.” “Did you get the milk?” she then asked, to try and distract them both. Proudly, Teddy held up the bottle. And John smiled again, deciding to let go of whatever memories his father had brought back, “Yeah, where would be without our Teddy-girl!” For a few more moments, Teddy and John played and laughed together in the kitchen. Then he pushed her off his lap again, saying he had more work to do, and telling her to go play. Happily, like she was any other child, Teddy skipped off and went outside. Back on the streets, she thought of things to do. She was no longer fighting with Tommy, which made her mind all the more lighter. So, meeting up with a few other kids, they decided to play spies, Teddy’s favourite game, and go to the Chinese laundry. Once inside, she and a few others played hide and seek, with the added thrill of possibly being chased out by the workers. Bathed in red light, Teddy hid in between the new suits and listened for the count. But instead, she heard her brother’s voice. Peering out, she saw that copper and Teddy forgot all about the other kids. “With these guns as bait, who knows what we’ll catch,” he said. Teddy immediately understood he was talking about the robbery, but why he was working with this copper, she couldn’t understand. Wasn’t he the enemy? Cynically, she heard Campbell say, “So, I’d be solving a problem for you.” And Tommy replied with, “And I’d be winning you that medal.” Campbell laughed, “If I get a medal, I would have your initials engraved on the backside” Teddy saw Tommy turn his head and he smiled cockily, “My initials on your backside. That’s quite an image.” This made Teddy snort, and she quickly covered her mouth with her hand at the sound. Tommy’s head flew in her direction, however, and he excused himself with Campbell, who then walked away. Tommy took two steps towards her and easily fished his youngest sister out of the clothing racks. “Look what I found,” he commented, lowering his voice. “Me,” Teddy replied, sheepishly. “You,” he repeated, “Teddy, what the hell are you doing here?” “Playing hide and seek?” “Well, you’re found. Come with me,” and Teddy had no choice but to follow him as he still had hold on the cuff of her blouse. But he didn’t seem too angry this time. On their way home, Teddy bombarded him with questions, “What did you want with that copper? Why did he say he’s solving a problem? What problem, Tommy? Are you giving him the guns? Why? Is he paying us? John told me you were at the Garrison, is that true? Did he tell you about the copper? Did you tell the copper about him? Why are we working with coppers now, Tommy? I thought, we don’t like coppers, right? Where are the guns now? Is this about the robbery?” Suddenly, Tommy halted and stopped Teddy in the middle of the street. He held up one finger and drilled holes into her with his eyes. Immediately, Teddy understood, and she lowered her voice, “The robbery’s not spoken of. Sorry, Tommy, I forgot. But…” “Nope!” he cut her off and continued walking, “No more questions!” “But I only have one or two questions!” she protested, sort of jogging after him and his long legs. “You had about twenty just now!” Teddy panted and tried to keep up with him, “But I only want to know…” “Everything!” her brother called out, “You only want to know everything, right? Not a single day goes by and there you are, asking me a million fucking questions, because you want to know about everything.” For a moment, Teddy was afraid he would get mad again, like he did before. But then he picked her up and carried her into the house with him. Together, they walked through the crowd of people at the betting shop and into the kitchen, where Tommy dumped her down onto the table and poured himself some whiskey. “Can I have some whiskey?” Teddy asked, “What does it taste like?” “Absolutely fucking not, it tastes like shit, Teddy.” But even Tommy didn’t think for a second she would believe him. So, he decided to try and distract her by giving her what she wanted, “Alright, go on, you can ask me a few questions.” Teddy sat up, beaming, and tried to think of the best question to ask first. So, she wanted to know, “Who did you meet at the Garrison?” Tommy sank down in a chair and lit a cigarette, resigned to be interrogated, “Who says I met anyone there?” “John said you went to the Garrison, so you told John you were going, but if you were only going there for that girl, you wouldn’t tell John. So, you went to meet with someone and then you talked to that copper and all of this started after you told me about the robbery, even though we’re not speaking of it, but after that thing we’re not speaking of, you were angry all the time and busy, so if you had time to go to the Garrison and meet someone, it was about the guns and that’s why you’re like this now.” Tommy coughed a short laugh, “I confess. I met someone at the Garrison.” “Who, Tommy?” “You know, you should really consider becoming a copper yourself, Teddy. You’d do great with unwilling suspects.” “Fuck coppers,” Teddy said quickly, “Tommy, I want to kno-ow,” she whined, “Who did you meet?” He blew away some smoke and not really sure why he was telling her this, he said, “Someone called Byrne.” But Teddy’s logic didn’t stop there, “Did he want the guns?” “Yes.” “Why?” “Because he’s IRA. The IRA is an organisation…” “I know what the IRA is, Tommy,” Teddy quickly cut him off, “Like the man that got shot by a woman the other day.” Her brother frowned, “Where did you hear that?” “Nancy told me,” Teddy said, matter-of-factly, “Is he dangerous?” “Byrne? Yes, he is.” “And that’s why you went to that copper?” the little girl’s eyes grew big with disbelief, “Did you shop an IRA man to the coppers, Tommy?”

“Not really,” Tommy explained, “I’m playing a double bluff.” Teddy furrowed her brows and was silent for a while, very uncharacteristically, and eventually asked, full of criticism, “Is that smart, Tommy?”   His sister made him laugh, “Not sure, sweetheart, but after tonight, I’ll know.”

Opening her mouth again, Teddy didn’t get a chance to ask her next dozen questions, because a young boy came in and handed Tommy a piece of paper. Her brother folded it open and read the message. Then he told Teddy, “I need to get things ready. Now, I know you have more questions, I can’t answer them all now. God knows if I’ll even live long enough... But after tonight, if I don’t get shot or anything, I’ll find you, eh?” Teddy sat up to protest, but he was already out the door. *** That evening, Teddy couldn’t sleep. She’d already counted all of the fucking sheep known to England and it hadn’t helped. She’d told Polly about her concerns, but she’d just told her to keep out of it. Finn on the other hand, had been very ready to answer all of Teddy’s questions as the much wiser older brother, but unfortunately, he had none of the answers. Her thoughts kept coming back to Ada and the baby, to Arthur and to her father. Finally, exhaustion took over and she drifted off to sleep.

When she woke up, she found Tommy sitting on the side of her bed. He’d watched her sleep and thought about how peaceful she looked, how small, how sweet, and how very different she was when awake. And indeed, as soon as she opened her eyes, a determined look came into her eyes and Tommy braced himself to be bombarded with questions once again. So, he decided to ask the first one, “You and Finn have your own beds. Why do you never use them?” As per usual, both Shelby’s slept huddled together under one blanket in one bed. “Cold,” Teddy shrugged. She was a Shelby after all and sleeping alone wasn’t anything they were used to.

Her brother mused, “I should take you out on the January some time, it’s been too long since you got to be a proper gyspy kid.” Teddy shot up, “Now! Can we go now, Tommy? Please, I’m really sick of Watery Lane!” He laughed shortly, “Nope. I have business first, Teddy. Come with me. And be quiet, don’t wake up Finn.” But both knew you could fire a canon in that small bedroom and still Finn wouldn’t wake up. Teddy followed Tommy down the stairs and into the front room. Only then, in the light of that parlour, did Teddy notice his face was all bruised and she saw a few specks of blood on his temple. Seriously, she commented, “So, it didn’t work, Tommy.” “No,” he sighed and he lit another cigarette, “It didn’t fucking work.” “That copper fucked us over,” Teddy concluded, and her brother nodded in reply.

“Did he beat you, Tommy?” “No.” “Did you sell them the guns?” He shook his head, “I lied about where they are. The coppers were supposed to come in and arrest them, but they were late. Like the fucking cavalry back in France. And then Grace took the shot and everything went to fucking hell.” “You were with the barmaid,” she stated, “Why are you always with the barmaid?” “Why not?” “I don’t trust her. She’s a liar, Tommy, and she…”

That’s when Aunt Polly walked in and Teddy stopped talking and looked up. She took one look at her nephew and niece and warned, “If this is what I think it is, Thomas, I forbid it.” Tommy looked at her with raised eyebrows, seemingly asking her: what do you think this is? Polly elaborated, “Theodora is only ten and she’s far too young to be involved in anything.” “Well, if you have any suggestions on how to keep her out of anything, I’ll happily take your advice, Pol.” “Don’t call me Theodora!” Teddy slumped down in her chair and sighed theatrically, “And I’m not involved in anything. Tommy would rather be with that barmaid than with me…” “Is that true, Thomas?” Tommy cleared his throat and looked away. Then he tried to change to subject, “I’m taking Teddy out onto the January, Pol. When all this is done.” But his aunt wasn’t so easy, “Why?” “She needs to learn how to skin a rabbit for starters. Light her own fires…” “I can light a fire!” A high-pitched voice interrupted. “…with wet wood. I want to teach her how to steer as well. Maybe even get a horse onto the boat. She needs to become a proper Shelby now that she’s growing up.” “Is that nostalgia I hear, Thomas?” Polly asked. He shrugged a maybe at that. So, she said, “Fine. But becoming a proper Shelby is just that: boats and horses and fires. No talk of robberies or guns or any of the business. I mean it, Tommy, I don’t want you talking to Teddy about it.” “No, Pol, the robbery’s not spoken of,” Tommy repeated, but he winked at Teddy when Aunt Polly didn’t see.

And when she’d left, Teddy said, with a twinkle in her eyes,” You lied to Aunt Polly!” “Yes, you taught me well. Now, I need your help, Teddy. I need your advice, because you were right, that copper wasn’t to be trusted and now I have to decide what to do next…” Quietly, the two siblings talked about all the things not spoken of. Tommy explained to her all the bargaining chips he had left and the different possibilities he saw. Teddy asked her thousand questions and somehow, that made things clearer for him: through her eyes, he could see the weak spots in his plans. He told her who was involved, where the guns were and what his plans for London were. And, of course, Teddy offered her help. She even came up with her very own strategy, one that Tommy would consider. In the end, they made the solemn promise to each other not to tell Polly about any of this. Then they went their separate ways, as partners in crime. *** Playing two-up was officially forbidden by law, an outlawed form of gambling, which was why all the kids played it in Small Heath. Teddy tossed her coin and jumped up into the air as she’d won. In the mud in front of the Garrison, she could oversee the whole street, and that’s how she liked it. Suddenly, she noticed her brother Finn running her way. “What’s wrong?” She asked him, abandoning her game at once. Finn panted and explained, “Tommy took me to the grave at St. Andrews. We’ve lost them, Teddy.” Obviously, Teddy had filled Finn in about everything she’d learned the days before. She’d promised Tommy to keep it a secret, but he’d have to understand that Finn didn’t count. She and Finn shared everything.

Together, the two of them hung around inside the pub, waiting, but also just passing the time. “Go and get me a few more buckets, will you?” Harry ordered them about, “There’s a sixpence in it for you if you don’t spill any!” And quickly they got to work. Grace watched the two of them. In her own way, she’d taken a liking to the youngest Shelby’s. Like small, feral rats, they seemed to be a part of Small Heath, like the bricks and the houses were. They’d never known anything else, she realised, and this was their kingdom. Pity they would get caught up in what was to come as well.

Tommy entered the Garrison, ruffled Finn’s hair for a second and asked Teddy where her shoes were, but without waiting for an answer, he then took Grace into the back. Teddy grabbed a glass from the bar and tried to listen in on the conversation. “What’s he saying?” her brother hissed. “Can’t hear,” Teddy groaned, “Everyone’s too fucking loud in here. Something about the copper?” Both kids turned as they heard shouts from the streets pouring in through the open doors. And Finn called out, “The police are here!”

At once, Teddy threw away the glass and busted through the door, “The police are in the lane, Tommy!”

“Teddy, you and Finn go on home, alright? Go now! No arguing with me, I don’t have the time, you do as your told for fucking once,” he bit in a slight panic. Then added, “I’ll need to lay low for a bit, you tell your aunt what happened, alright? I promise I’ll be fine.” But when she saw that it was Grace who then took Tommy away and out the back of the Garrison, Teddy’s worries only grew.

Meanwhile, chaos had descended upon Watery Lane. Finn and Teddy ran outside, where they saw the police invading every house. Obviously looking for someone, they grabbed every man and woman and threw them out onto the streets. When they tried to break open the doors to their house, Teddy jumped forwards, intend on fighting the police force herself. Finn grabbed her and wrestled her back inside the Garrison. Suddenly strong, Teddy couldn’t fight him off her, but still she tried with all her might. But her brother had her arm in some kind of deadlock and had the most determined look on his face, “No, Teddy. It’s not safe. I’m your brother and I told you ‘no’.” Teddy cursed in a manner far beyond her years, but she still couldn’t free herself. Sometimes it seemed like Finn was the younger one, often looking at Teddy for advice, but on rare occasions, he decided. When he was certain of what needed to be done, especially when he felt he needed to protect his little sister, he was stronger. Then the police burst in through the doors of the Garrison. Fear washed over Teddy as she saw the inspector and he asked after Tommy. But her big brother wasn’t afraid. Finn told him, “You’ll never find him.” Teddy had never been more in awe of him than she was in that very moment. But when Campbell told them to go home, they both ran as quickly as their little legs could carry them. Back at home, the two of them barely said a word to each other. Instinctively, they knew everything had gone wrong, and there was nothing they could do about it. It wasn’t until after Aunt Polly had held them both, they fell asleep on her lap on the sofa. *** The next morning, Polly tried to distract them with chores and school, but they weren’t interested in the slightest. Especially when Arthur showed up and Aunt Polly deliberately kept them away from him, they became even more persistent. And Polly had had enough. She was nervous enough as it was. So, when she found the two of them in front of the fire, smoking, she clipped their ears and send them up to bed without supper. About an hour later, Teddy crept down the stairs again. She was hungry, but all she could find was tea. Tea would have to do for now. Suddenly, she noticed Arthur sitting by the fire. But he didn’t look up when she approached. Maybe he hadn’t seen her? Loud steps echoed through the house and purely out of habit, Teddy hid behind the curtains.

Tommy walked in and pulled aside Arthur’s collar to examine what looked like rope marks to Teddy. She wondered how he’d gotten hurt. Finally, Arthur spoke, “So Polly told you.”

“Yep,” Tommy answered, and he poured himself some tea. That’s when Teddy looked down and realised she was still holding her teacup behind the curtain. Silently, she took a little sip. Still warm. “You should’ve used a gun,” Tommy said, and it was like the ground fell out from underneath Teddy. Arthur tried to hurt himself?

Her oldest brother growled, “Are you laughing at me, Tommy?” “Yeah.” Arthur looked away and Tommy continued, “Just when things are starting to go right, Arthur, you try and do this.” Tommy laughed, “Don’t you like fancy parties? Or, um, champagne? Or fast cars? And how about this.” He showed Arthur a piece of paper, “Your name on a business card.”

“Shelby Brothers, Limited. Arthur Shelby. Associate bookmaker,” Arthur read.

“I just had them picked up from the printers this morning. You’re one of three shareholders. Me, you, John. And according to the law, we are equal partners. And it is written in the paperwork in black and white. A third, a third, a third.” Tommy sat back and joked, “But the thing is, well, me and John, we quite fancy splitting your share, so… just next time, use a gun, man.”

Arthur finally laughed and Tommy smiled broadly. Then Arthur turned his head and called out, “You can come out now, princess.” Careful not to spill her tea, Teddy showed herself, “I wasn’t sure if you’d seen me.” “Ah Teddy,” he said, “Little spy. I always check every cupboard and curtain of every room I’m in, because usually, you’re there.” He wasn’t wrong.

Teddy put down her tea and carefully climbed up on Arthur’s lap. Then she hugged him for a while, not knowing what to say. She didn’t quite understand and what she did understand, there were no words for. So, she didn’t say any.

Tommy watched them both and continued, “Our men at the station tell me that copper is leaving town.” He leaned forward into Arthur, “We’re in the clear. We’re on our way up in the world, brother. Believe me.” Both brothers hugged with Teddy sandwiched in between.

In a small voice, Teddy eventually said, “Don’t do it again, Arthur.” “I won’t. I’m sorry about that, princess.” “Not even if Tommy tells you to because he wants your share.” “Ah, he’s only joking,” Arthur laughed. “Well, it’s not funny.” Tommy coughed once and looked down, “Understood. Next time, we’ll just get you to cheer Arthur up, eh?” “Yes,” Teddy cuddled up even closer to Arthur. She wasn’t closest to him by any means, but he was still her brother and she couldn’t bear the thought of him being gone. Not after the war, when she thought they’d never come back. Not now. “She is a good spy though, Tom. Maybe we could use her,” he joked Tommy nodded and continued drinking his tea. More serious, he said, “Me and Teddy have already discussed strategies.” Teddy looked proudly up at Arthur, who questioned, “Does Polly know?”

“You can’t tell her,” she quickly said, “She’d kill us.”

Arthur looked at Tommy as if to say: she’ll do more than that.

But his brother waved a hand, “It’s all under control, Arthur. Just let me do the thinking.”

“And me,” Teddy quickly added, searching for a business card that had her name on it in the newly printed stack, “I’m part of the business now too.”

***

Masterlist

[crowleywowley]

Wicked Game | pt. 6 | Javier Peña X reader

Summary: what a wicked game to play- to make me feel this way.

Rating: 18+ as always!

Warnings/tags: not much for this chap, other than angst.

A/N: our final chapter (minus the epilogue) has arrived! I’m honestly feeling really emotional about it- this is my first ever multi-part series and I’m really proud of it. Thank you SO much to anyone who has read it, left me kind messages, and given me so much continued encouragement. It means more to me than you’ll ever know! more ramblings on this at the end. For now, enjoy<333

part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

6 days.

Specifically, 142 hours and thirty-four minutes.

(Not that you were counting.)

That was how long it had been since Javier had called you from the airport, and the gut-twisting feeling he gave you then hadn’t left you since.

You’d been through plenty of breakups in life, though most of them were in high school and the early days of college before meeting your husband. None of them could ever measure up to the way this felt; and it wasn’t even a real breakup. What the two of you shared was beyond that- you were two people who had become so intertwined in the messy vines of each other’s lives, but now Javier’s vines had been ripped out and torn yours in the process.

To make it worse- he hadn’t called. He hadn’t called like he promised, and you were stuck waiting by that damn phone like a fool during all your spare time. You tried to throw yourself into your work but your boss had dropped into your office for a quick word, seen your slumped over state at your desk, and given you a few days off to collect yourself. You told her it was issues with your marriage- not technically untrue. You were just exhausted from sitting up by the phone, cursing it anytime it rang and you didn’t hear Javier’s voice on the other end.

It was on day 7, hour 154, that you finally did.

“Javi?”

Your voice was rough, scratchy after several days of barely using it.

“Hey, baby.”

His voice was soft, almost whispering as if he didn’t want to be heard, but laced with a tenderness that ripped open the wound all over again.

For the first time with him, you weren’t sure what to say.

“How… how are you?” You asked hesitantly, restlessness seeping through your chest.

You heard him sigh. “I’m… alright. I’ve been staying with my pops, helping him around the property. Keeps me busy.”

Though you were still upset with him, you felt your heart thaw a little at the mental image of him and his dad spending quality time together. You knew from what he’d told you that they hadn’t gotten much of that since Javi left Texas.

A silence washed over you both, starkly different from the comfortable ones you always lapsed into. This was a heavy silence, thick and weighing down on your entire body until you couldn’t take it anymore.

“Why didn’t you call?” You asked quickly, trying to hide the wavering in your voice.

Javier hesitated for a moment. “I didn’t know what to say. I wanted to give you your space.” He spoke slowly, the earnest nature of his words clear. They didn’t do much to soothe you, however.

Javi, I didn’t need space, I needed you,” you pleaded. Why were you already about to cry? Why was this wound so much deeper than anything you’d ever experienced?

He sighed once more, but not out of frustration with you. Only himself. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I know that was wrong. I just… don’t think I was ready to face you.”

Now it was your turn to let out a sigh- a shaky one, one that willed your hot tears back from the brink of spilling. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt me,” You waited a moment before continuing. “But you did, Javi.”

“Baby, please don’t cry,” he added quickly, hearing the crack in your voice. His whole body burned with shame- he never wanted to make you feel this bad. You didn’t deserve that, or any of this.

Sniffling quietly, you replied. “I’m not mad at you, I could never be. Not truly, at least. I just… you just left. It came out of nowhere, and I know your work life isn’t my business but I mean, my god, Javi. I have no one down here, and you left without a word of warning. That was… that was fucked up.”

The tears were flowing freely down your cheeks now, too many that were too persistent for you to bother holding them back. You’d only allowed yourself to cry that first night, but you’d spent the last week keeping it in as best as you could. It was like something told you that if you didn’t cry, it wasn’t real; but this was very, very real.

Javier felt his own throat burn, and it felt like every muscle in his body was straining not to cry at your vulnerable, teary words. He knew there was nothing he could say right now to fix this situation, no matter how badly he wanted to.

“I’m sorry.”

His words were nearly whispered, a weak response that he kicked himself for. You deserved so much more than that and yet he couldn’t find any words that did you justice.

A long pause sat between the two of you before you finally spoke.

“So… what now?” You asked hoarsely, not even sure how you wanted him to respond.

“When do you come back to the states?” He answered your question with another question, to your annoyance.

Your eyes flicked over to the calendar pinned to your kitchen wall. “My flight leaves December 5th. Why?” You asked suspiciously, knowing where this was probably headed.

He waited a beat. “You could.. come here, for the holidays. We’ve got plenty of room, or you could-“

You interrupted him, pain evident in your voice. “Javi, please stop. I- I can’t do that. I have to go back, go back to my life, my home. I can’t just pretend none of that exists.”

Your heart ached at your words. Of course you wanted to go to Texas and be with Javier again. He made you feel so complete- you’d spent the last few days as an unfulfilled shell of a human. But you couldn’t keep pretending like you had been doing in Colombia; when you left, it would all come back to you. The husband, the job, the house, the mortgage. No, you weren’t happy about it, but you couldn’t just drop all of it.

Right?

Javier kept his tone even, though he was stung a little from your rejection. “Just… think about it. Please? That’s all I ask of you. If you decide not to, you’ll never hear me ask again. But please…” his eyes shut, and his head rested against the wall. “Just think about it.”

You rubbed your temples, your whole body tense. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding.

“Okay. I’ll… I’ll think about it.”

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Although the last few weeks that you spent in Colombia weren’t under the happiest of circumstances relationship-wise, things certainly had picked up at work. This was something greatly appreciated by you, enjoying the chance of a distraction after you’d been allowed back in the office.

The continuing investigations and attempts to catch Escobar had come to a height, which meant long days and nights clacking away at your typewriter as new information became available. Your agency had been churning out what seemed like hundred of pieces on the story, only several making it to the local news channels and the papers. It was becoming so intense that you almost considered extending your contract, desperate to keep contributing what you could, finally feeling like you were working for something bigger.

But just a few days later, only two short days before you were set to leave, you realized wouldn’t have to bother extending.

They finally got him.

Cheers had erupted through your office when the news broke. You couldn’t help but celebrate; this man had caused so much pain for so many people. Friends and family of your coworkers. You’d experienced four months, but this had been going on for the better part of their lives. You’d seen the devastation first hand- they all deserved to celebrate for a moment.

One of the receptionists darted out to buy a bottle of champagne, quickly stepping back in and popping it for everyone. You allowed yourself to indulge for a bit, but you slipped out early, seeking the comfort of your quiet apartment. When you returned, you slipped off your work shoes and sank into your couch, not bothering to turn the lights on.

You closed your eyes, reflecting on all that had occurred during your time in the country.

You though about how your agency had been amongst several to receive the photo of the agents posing with Escobar’s body, something that unsettled you but you kept to yourself for the sake of not ruining the party, and you spotted the blonde man in the middle. You knew it was Steve, someone you hadn’t met but had created a mental image of through several stories from Javi. He was one of the few people Javier seemed to trust, and knowing that his partner had been there should’ve made you feel better. But it didn’t- you actually felt worse. You knew how much Javier had contributed to the hunt. He’d collected so much intel, worked so hard for it all, even sacrificing his own career for the greater good of the mission. He deserved to be there when it happened, but he wasn’t.

Though it might be selfish, you thought about how much you longed to comfort him right now. You knew he was probably sleepless, stuck in his childhood home drinking his night away to numb the pain and embarrassment he felt.

You thought about how you’d tell him that he did enough. That this one mistake didn’t define his whole career. That you were so proud of him for all he did, though you knew he wouldn’t believe you. No matter- you’d pull him into your arms and let the embrace say what words couldn’t.

Against your will, you thought about his offer from a few days ago. You imagined that happy scene you used to find comfort in, the two of you spending the holidays together like you’d always wanted to. It would be so nice, so comforting- but it was unrealistic. It made you feel despondent; You couldn’t just get a divorce, it wasn’t that simple. None of it was. But… that marriage had stolen so much of you from yourself. How were you supposed to go back, when you knew your heart would never be in it?

A frustrated groan left you, laying your head back on the back of the couch. After staying this way for a few moments, you took a deep breath before rising and moving to your bedroom.

You dug your suitcases out of your closet and began packing your belongings back into them, just as you had a few months ago.

Though it was two days early, you’d had enough; it was time to go home.

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

The airport was surprisingly busy given that it was nearing 1:00 AM by the time you’d arrived. Luckily, you’d been able to secure a last minute ticket, the plane taking off at 2:35 AM.

After getting your affairs in order for the flight, you made your way over to the payphone area. Your hands shook as you inserted your coins, anxiety rippling down your spine. Were you really about to do this? Was this a mistake, should you just-

“Hello?”

Your husband’s voice came through the dull speaker. Your heart began to pound so hard you could feel it in your stomach.

“Hey.” You breathed out shakily.

“Honey? Is that you?” He sounded confused.

You glanced down at the gold band around your finger. “Yeah… it’s me. I need to talk to you.”

The ironic parallel of this conversation happening in the exact same place that yours and Javi’s had was not lost on you. Perhaps someday you’d laugh about it.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

His voice was unfortunately relaxed, unaware of how badly you were trembling with the words you knew you had to say.

“Are you… are you happy?” You asked, closing your eyes.

“Uh… yeah? I guess? Why do you ask?”

You gripped the side of the booth, knuckles white.

“I’m not happy.”

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry,” He replied lamely. “You’re coming home in a few days, though!” He was so cheery and unaware and it made you sick.

“No… I mean, I’m not… happy. With us.”

No taking it back now.

He took a moment to answer. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” you said, summoning all the courage you could find. “I don’t… love you. Anymore.” You inched the words out, and they dragged through your throat.

Silence came through. So long that you thought the call dropped until he finally said,

“Oh.”

“I’m so.. so sorry. You and I- we had a good run, and I-“

“Shut up.” He spat. You winced, knowing you deserved this. “Just- shut up. I can’t… I can’t believe this.”

Tears formed in the corners of your eyes. This was what you wanted, you knew that in your heart. But this was a relationship that, for better or for worse, you’d committed almost ten years of your life to. And though you felt a weight off your chest from finally telling him, you still felt rotten.

“I fucking knew this was gonna happen. I knew it. All my friends said you’d leave me but no, I never believed them. I always defended you.” He was angry, and understandably so, but it was honestly hard to process him showing so much emotion over, well… anything.

He continued, words growing more heated.

“I loved you. Maybe I wasn’t the best at showing it, but I did. I gave you a good life, wasn’t that enough for you? You know, my mom always said you were a greedy little bit-“

Panic overcame you and you slammed the phone back onto the receiver.

You inhaled sharply, allowing a few tears to run down your cheeks before you quickly wiped them away.

Eventually, you would have to speak with him again to actually get the divorce. But right now, there was only one person you wanted to hear from, and you prayed he was awake.

Fishing a few more coins out of your bag, you dialed the number he’d given you the other night. It was his dad’s home phone, and in the back of your mind you thought about how your mom taught you never to call a landline after 9:00 PM… but mom’s advice be damned.

“…hello?” Javier’s voice came through the phone slowly and groggily, clearly having been asleep.

“Javi.” A sigh of relief left your lips. “I’m so glad you answered.”

When he responded, he was noticeably more alert. “Baby?” Your heart tugged at the use of the pet name.

You let out a breathy laugh. “Yeah. It’s me.”

“What are you doing up? Are you okay?” His voice was deep from slumber.

“I told him I didn’t love him.”

Unbeknownst to you, Javier’s eyes widened. He rubbed a hand down his face, processing your words.

“Are you okay?” He repeated, this time with a different connotation. He spoke gently, as if dealing with a frightened animal.

“I will be.” You sighed. “I really wish you were here right now.”

His eyes shut, brows drawing in tightly. “Me too.” He said quietly.

You were both quiet for a moment before Javier piped back up.

“Where are you?”

You heard his bed creak as he sat up. “The airport. I’m leaving early, I can’t be here anymore.”

He thought carefully about his next words. “Where are you going?”

This time, it was you who chose to answer his question with a question. “That offer from the other night still stand?” A small smile played on your lips.

Javier spoke breathlessly. “Of course.”

A jingle rang out through the loudspeaker above you, signaling that an announcement was about to be made.

‘El vuelo 523 a Laredo ya está abordando.’

▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰▰

Well friends, that’s it for now! I have a small epilogue planned for this, but otherwise this is the end of the story. Once again thank you SO much for reading this series, your support means the world to me. I love Javier and this story so much and I really hope you can see that in my writing. I hope if you liked this that you’ll stick around, I’ve got some really fun upcoming projects!!! In the next few weeks I’ve got a Mando oneshot dropping, a new Javi series starting, and some Joel miller stuff which I’m super excited about! Things are looking good for September baby 😎

Tags: @iamskyereads @wildemaven @buckysthing

[honey-milk-depresso]

Meanie (Azul Ashengrotto x Reader) 8

Part 1,

part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8 (END)

The final chapter. Congratulations for surviving this long with my bullshit-

“Everyone, please place the flower we have given you in their coffin.”

The sunlight was shining brightly in the early morning of NRC’s campus, 

but no happiness was to be found.

Just yesterday, you have died.

And it took a moment for Azul to realize that you were truly gone.

Everyone in NRC lined up in a single file to pay their final respects to you, one by one placing their flower in your coffin.

When it came to Azul’s turn, he had to hold himself from crying. He felt as if you were watching him. If he cried, you’ll cry too, and he doesn’t want you to fully leave this world with sadness and guilt.

He looked at you. Even if you’re dead, you looked as beautiful as ever.

He grabbed your cold hands, and placed the flower in the middle of your chest, before he gently used your hands to cover the flower, as if you are holding it.

“I love you,” he whispered, “I hope you go to a safe place.” And he walked away.

=============================================================

Azul walked back to Octavinelle with Jade and Floyd. They were silent. Yes, even Floyd stayed quiet.

The atmosphere was solemn.

Azul was solemn.

Never in his life have he came across death, let alone, someone he hold close to.

He used to love before.

He went back to his office alone and tilted his head up. Jade and Floyd went back to their rooms.

He’s not crying. He won’t cry for you.

Read it.

He heard something whisper.

“What..?”

The notebook.

He glanced to his right, the notebook labelled “ To Azul Ashengrotto”.

“Read it after they die,” Trey’s words echoed in his head as he recalls.

He grabbed the book.

To Azul Ashengrotto.

He stared at it, hesitantly flipping to the first page.

“I’m rewriting this from the accounts of Y/n, Azul. She asked for it. I hope you’re reading this.

- Trey Clover”

So Trey wrote this book for you to him.

“Azul and I were chilling at Monstro Lounge in the VIP room.

Lmao, he was soooo unlucky with his pulls, and had to answer all my questions and stuff. Apparently he thinks Idia is more handsome than Jade. Ooh~ 

I really loved the fact he wanted to spend time with me although he looks so done. I really appreciate it!”

He snorted. That was so you.

“Azul and I hanged out at the Rose Kingdom. I’m so glad Headmaster allowed me to hang out with him! Sometimes I feel like Headmaster is a dad. 

I had so much fun! Though, it’s kinda embarrassing that Azul spoilt me with so many gifts, and all I did was drag him around. I love the octopus plushie he won for me. It’s so chubby, soft and cute, just like him! 

He also bought me food from Trey’s awesome family bakery, and a really expensive pendent. I feel guilty, but I love it! It’s so pretty!”

He sighed. Really? Chubby?

“Headmaster told me I’m going to die in five months time. I’m really scared. I know I’ve joked about I feel like dying cuz of Professor Crewel’s homework, now facing with death, it feels really scary.

I have to tell everyone right? Headmaster told me he’ll tell my friends, that includes Azul. How would he feel? I don’t want him to feel sad..”

He flipped to the next page.

“Azul, Jade and Floyd came to visit me. Actually EVERYONE did! Even Leona and Idia! Can you believe it?? But I was so happy that Azul and the tweels came.

I rubbed my eyes so hard because I didn’t want them to see me cry. I was just so happy to see them!”

“Trey told me something. Well, an offered to do something for me. 

He knew I had a superrrr big crush on Azul, and he said I should tell him. I was so embarrassed at first, but I’m going to die soon, so I have to confess sooner or later right? 

He told me he’ll write a whole record of me of what I want to tell him, and then I can give it for him to read after I die.

Sounds like a good idea, but also kind of cruel. After I die????

What should I do?”

So that’s what you were talking about with him.

“I got to be discharged!

FINALLY OH MY SEVENSSSSS-

I CAN GET FRESH AIR BEFORE I DIE

DO YOU KNOW HOW BORING IT IS TO BE CHAINED TO A BED, DOING NOTHING UNTIL SOMEONE COMES TO VISIT???

PROFESSOR TREIN’S CLASS IS WAY BETTER-

Azul brought me around the entire campus, and to Octavinelle! And we played UNO! Although I lost a lot... But I’m happy I got to spend time with him and see everyone outside of the infirmary! ^^”

“I went to NRC’s Halloween Celebration!

IT. WAS. SO. COOL!!

There were like flying decorations and good food,

I got to see NRC become so lively and colorful! It was amazing!

Also I got to hang out with Azul and the tweels, and of course, everyone else!

I even got to be part of all the scaring and stuff at the Octavinelle’s scare house! heheheh~ 

I love the big finale, I wish it could last forever.”

“I made up my mind. 

I’m gonna ask Trey to help me write that book. I want Azul to have a piece of me even when I’m gone. I won’t leave him alone, and I’ll do everything in my power to do so.

If Trey is giving me the opportunity to do so, I’ll take it! Though, I should’ve done it from the beginning..”

“Azul kissed me. 

Oh my shit-

MMM I SHOULDN’T HAVE DRANK THE PLUM WINE HE GAVE ME BEFORE WE KISSED, I PROBABLY SMELT BAD-

BUT HE SAID HE LIKES IT??? WAS IT A GOOD CALL I DON’T KNOW-

But... I’m happy.. I got the courage to confess to him! On top of that, he said yes! I’m so happy I could cry..”

“I’m going to be giving the notebook to Trey. He’s gonna record it all down for me today. 

Azul, I hope you’re reading this. I want you to flip to the back. I asked Trey to attached something really important I want to share with you.”

He flipped to the back. There was a slip of paper folded, stapled to the page. It also held the pendent he bought for you. He grabbed it, and unfolded the paper.

“Azul, 

I’m writing this to you 5 months before I die. Crowley told me to tell everyone about my condition, but I wrote this for you specially.

Remember I told you in that truth or dare game?

“If I told you I was scared to die, what would you do?”

To tell you now, I’m still kind of scared. But I won’t show it! Pretending not being scared isn’t like lying.

Okay, but a practical thing, you could do anything you want with this book.

You can tear it up, throw it away, hide it or even show to everyone! Totally up to you!

I’m gonna be honest with you, I was and still jealous of you.

You were and are the picture perfect honor student of NRC. I haven’t been in NRC as long as you, but I’m just so jealous you manage to be so cool and flawless in everything you do! Well, maybe except for flying..

But still! You were and still are my role model! You always manage to amaze me! But not only that, you treated me like your best friend no matter what position you are! Maybe that’s why I fell for you, you didn’t show biasness towards me to become my friend. I hope you were genuine about our friendship!

But, I like the fact you actually sometimes don’t need other people to reflect about yourself, unlike me. I can’t reflect about me all by myself. If I were like you, maybe I could’ve been able to live entirely by myself, with my own unique worth and responsibilities. Of course, while still being friends with others!

But when it comes to self reflection, you are down to earth with yourself, you speak to yourself, and that’s very independent of you. Ever since you were little you were like that too, and that’s what made you hardworking and diligent!

I’ll end it right here, to tell you I love you. Ehehe~ Sorry it’s so sudden.

I love you, meanie.”

drip.

Pitter, patter, pitter, patter.

Slowly, Azul felt tears rolling down his face.

He broke. Except... that wasn’t true.

He’d been broken when he first heard you were about to die. He just kept strong for you, as you did for him.

He was so glad, he had spent his time with you.

You needed him. You felt like he’d done everything for you.

But now, you’re gone.

It was thanks to you, he never felt insecure about his past anymore. For the first time he met you, his really lived for the first time. He existed in this world.

“Thank you, y/n..” he choked, smiling meekly at your final goodbye letter to him, as he clutched the pendent he gave you.

“I love you so much...”

From Ramshackle dorm, your slightly dusty octopus plushie rest on the side of your pillow.

From far away, he sensed you hugging it, whispering so close to him although so far,

“I love you too, meanie..”

END

============================================================

HO SHIT-

REBLOG IT I FELT MY TEARS I-

Ok I’m joking

thank you for surviving and following with the story. 

Azul loves you. Bye, have a good day!

@magicpumpkin3 don’t kill me pls-

[taestefully-in-luv]

The Island | KTH (Six)

Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?

Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader

Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.

Word Count: 7.4k

Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) heated make out, oral (female and male receiving), swallowing, unprotected sex, multiple positions, overstimulation, multiple orgasms

Notes: here’s ch6! Sorry it’s a little shorter than other chapters…:( But I hope you enjoy nonetheless. It’s finally here;) Hope you guys like this chapter. Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)

Taglist: @ggukkieland @monvieesdaebak @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @getmemyfries @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon

© taestefully-in-luv

Previous --- Next

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I just feel like you aren’t into it…into me.” Hana looks down at her hands in her lap. “I want you to be, of course—actually, let’s forget this.” She looks up at Taehyung, her thin lips set into a firm line. “Your birthday is tomorrow, I want you to have a good time.”

“Hana…” Taehyung looks at her, his confused expression only growing. “I do—”

“I said let’s forget it.” Her strained smile only concerns him. “I’ll be bringing along a few girlfriends, that’s fine right?”

“Uh,” Taehyung tries looking into her empty eyes but fails, “Sure. Yeah, that’s fine.”

Taehyung bites down on his bottom lip as he recalls some of his last days before the island…that memory is over 6 months old. There’s no way Hana waited for him…at least, at this point he hopes not. But he realizes how right she was…she could feel that he wasn’t 100% into it—into her. The guys were right too. The sad part is…he knew too. But Jimin was right, it’s because he felt lonely and like he’s just getting older and he needs someone. But now…

Images of you, the last 6 months, the time you two have spent together is racing through his mind, flashing pictures of your smiling face. He internally crumbles. Your face is so pretty, he thinks. Your face when you laugh, when you smile, when you cry. Every expression you have ever made and have yet to make is beautiful art to him.

Taehyung notices the sun setting through his window and he knows the time has come. He hopes he can control himself…he’s a respectful man but no person has drove him as insane as you do. How will he handle touching you again? How will he handle his lips exploring your lips? Tasting you? An entire minute? Lord have mercy on his soul. Not because a minute is a long time but because a minute is just not enough.

~

“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?” you mumble under your breath as you stare at yourself in your bathroom mirror. You…you look at yourself in disbelief because what the hell are you wearing? What’s with this outfit? Your ass cheeks are literally hanging out of these shorts and your cleavage is just stupid out there. You’re wearing red matching bra and panties and for what? What are you expecting? It’s just some kissing! You groan out loud and walk inside your closet, ready to choose another outfit. You slip on some different shorts—ones that cover your ass and a long t shirt. You keep the racy red panties and bra though.

You go back to the mirror and stare at yourself. Taehyung said he wants to kiss you. He said it and you wish, you so badly wish you could have had the courage to tell him you also want to kiss him. But you don’t know if that’s a good idea. If you guys continue to cross the line…what will that mean?

Suddenly there’s knocking on your bedroom door, your head whips in the direction and you sigh. He’s here. It must be night, you’ve been in your bathroom for who knows how long! You take one last look in the mirror, nod your head and turn your body towards the door.

You reach your bedroom door and sigh out again, are you ready to face him?

“I know you’re standing there…” You hear Taehyung on the other side of the door, you can’t help but crack a small smile. “Come on, I’ll be downstairs.”

Then you hear his footsteps get further and further away as you lightly bang your head on the door. Why are you freaking out? This was your idea! Finally, you open the door and see no sign of Taehyung so you walk into the hallway and make your way downstairs.

You find Taehyung sitting on the living room sofa, he’s staring straight ahead, licking his drying lips. Once he feels your presence he’s turning his head to face you, his eyes narrowing.

“You’re here.” He says with his deep voice, “Shall we?” he gestures to the spot next to him on the couch.

You nod and walk to the other side of the couch, sitting down next to him. You leave a little space between your bodies and Taehyung smirks at you.

“You’ll have to get closer if you want to kiss me.” He says lowly, “Since you want to.”

“Right…” you whisper, scooting closer to him.

Taehyung looks at you for a moment and his eyes soften.

“Are you sure about this?” he asks quietly. “We can—”

“I’m sure.”

Taehyung exhales deeply and nods his head, licking his lips repeatedly again.

“Okay. The timer is on the table—”

“I’ll set it for a minute and 10 seconds.”

“Why 10 seconds?”

“So we have time to…” You pause, biting your lip. “…To get into it.”

Taehyung raises his brows and his mouth forms an ‘o’ then he is nodding his head.

“Okay, makes sense.”

“I’ll start it now…”

Taehyung inches a little closer to you, his knees touching yours and you gasp when you feel his hand squeeze your thigh.

“Relax.” Taehyung leans into you, his mouth at your ear. “Relax for me.”

You can’t help the gulp that pushes down your throat, you can’t help the absolute shiver you feel that shoots down your spine.

“Okay…” you agree, “3…2…1” and you’re pressing the start button on the timer and setting it in your lap. You look up at Taehyung expectantly only to find his gaze directly on your lips. Taehyung thinks your lips look as soft as they usually do and he’s desperate to get a feel of them. He brings the hand that was on your thigh to your jaw, he cups his large hand around it and you swallow hard. He guides your face closer to his as he watches your eyelids become half lidded. He leans further into you until you feel his puffy lips covering your own with a soft, slow kiss. His kiss is tender and controlled, he moves against you slowly. Fuck, this feels amazing.

You feel yourself melting into a puddle as his lips move against your lips, they’re so soft and taste so sweet. You finally respond to his sweet smooches with your added pressure. You kiss him back harder, but not too hard. You kiss him back with passion. He moves his hands from your face to your hair, he tugs on it as he deepens the kiss and you moan into his mouth as you wrap your hands around his neck. You can’t help but sigh between his parted lips and pull back, away from him.

“Is-Is everything okay?” he asks, concerned. His brows are pulled together and he’s slightly panting. You don’t answer him though, you only admire his face. He’s got flushed cheeks, swollen lips and blown out pupils. He looks so fucking good.

“y/n? The timer hasn’t gone off yet?” he tries to stay composed but you can tell he’s panicking.

“Huh? Oh right.” You try leaning back in but Taehyung stops you with his hands on your shoulders.

“y/n, we can stop this if you aren’t comfort—”

“I don’t want to stop, Tae.” You blurt out quickly. “I want to keep going.” You flutter your eyelashes at him, “Please.” His eyes widen.

Taehyung’s hands grip at your waist and leans in again, kissing you once more. His lips find yours in desperation this time, he moves his lips against yours messily yet perfectly. His hands slide down just a bit until they’re gripping your hips, he gives them a squeeze and you squeal. So he squeezes your hips again until you’re whimpering in his mouth. He takes advantage of your parted lips, taking this opportunity to lick past them and feel your tongue with his. He presses his mouth against yours harder as your hands run down his broad chest.

You begin exploring his front side, your hands gliding from his chest to his stomach. He groans when you slide your hands down with added pressure to his lower stomach, he feels himself tense as he continues to kiss you. His tongue swirls against yours as your kissing becomes more heated and more sloppy. He wants to explore your front too, god, he wants to feel your tits in his hands so bad. So he slides his hands up until he’s groping you, your breasts being squeezed passionately by his large hands. You groan when his thumb finds your nipple through the material of your shirt and thin bra, he’s rubbing it over and over and you roll your eyes back.

You want to touch him more, you want to feel him so fucking bad and you’re about to, you swear you’re about to but the god damn timer goes off. The loud, obnoxious beeping ringing loud and clear in your ears. You and Taehyung get stopped immediately, backing away from one another. Your lips leaving a small string of saliva connecting you two. You hurry to wipe your mouth and scramble to find the timer and stop it.

“Uh…” Taehyung’s breathing is beyond uneven. “I don’t know if that counts because we stopped.”

“Right…Then we should continue.” You give him a shy smile and he smirks over at you.

“Only if you want to.”

“I do.” You say, completely intoxicated. You reach up to caress his cheek and Taehyung goes soft all of the sudden, he’s leaning into your touch and he sighs out in satisfaction.

“Kiss me Taehyung.” You quietly command.

“My pleasure.” He hurries to capture your lips with his, his mouth moving quickly over yours, his tongue practically begging for entrance. He wastes no time fighting his way into your mouth and you let him, you part your lips and slip your tongue between his. He groans as his fingers find their way into your hair and he’s tugging on it making you moan between kisses. He tugs your head to the side, giving him access to your neck. His lips leave yours to leave wet kisses down your jaw and your throat, you immediately sigh out in pleasure arching you back and pushing your chest into his. Good, he thinks. You’re as affected as he is.

Taehyung takes you by the shoulders and lays your body down on the couch as he climbs on top of you, caging you in with his arms on either side of your head. He stares down at you with his intense gaze and you shudder. You’re really letting this happen…but before you can get too into your head Taehyung’s hand is at your lower stomach, riding your shirt up.

“This has to come off.” He states darkly, “Now.” You nod your head slowly and he’s raising the shirt higher and higher, until he’s lifting it off your body. This leaves you in some shorts and your red, lacey bralette. Taehyung skims yours body, his eyes trailing from the tops of your breasts until they’re focused on your shorts.

“These off too.” He plays with the material of your shorts. “Want to see what panties you’re wearing.”

You start to turn red but you agree, you lift your ass up as Taehyung begins dragging the shorts down your legs, revealing your matching red panties.

“Thought so.” Taehyung smirks, “You wore a matching set. Why? Did you know this was going to happen? Such a bad fucking girl.”

You breathe out heavily, wondering what to say but you decide to stay quiet. Not trusting your voice at this point.

“Speak.” Taehyung commands and you feel the chills run across your entire body.

“I didn’t know…” you lie, “I just put these on…”

“We don’t lie, y/n. When it comes to me and you, we always tell the truth okay baby?” You can hear his teasing tone, it’s light and playful and it goes straight to your lady bits.

“Okay…” you agree softly, “I want…”

“What is it that you want?”

“Your clothes off.”

Taehyung quirks a brow at you with an amused smile. “Oh?” He licks his lips and nods his head. He slowly begins taking his shirt off, revealing his tanned, broad chest. Your hands immediately go up to touch him, dragging your little fingers down until they’re at his shorts.

“These too, please.”

“Only because you have such good manners.” Taehyung gets off you to take his shorts off, leaving him in black briefs. You can see his bulge…fuck, he looks huge. Bigger than you remember when you two skinny dipped. He finds his way back between your legs, hovering above you.

“I believe you asked me to kiss you.” He says, leaning down. He nips at your neck, until his lips find their way back to yours. He’s kissing you much rougher now, his tongue dancing intensely with yours. His hips grind into you as he kisses you, you can feel his member rubbing against your clit so heavenly. You can’t help but whimper every time his bulge grinds into you, the feeling so euphoric.

“Taehyung…” you moan his name. You moan his fucking name. He is on the verge of going feral now, his hips moving into you faster and harder.

“I want to ….”

“You want to what baby?” he breathes out harshly, his lips now on your neck again, sucking bruise after bruise, painting art on your skin with blues and purples.

“Can I…” you sigh out heavily, “Please can I suck your cock? …Please…”

Taehyung drops his head in the crook of your neck and releases a long, unsteady breath.

“You realize if I let you suck on my cock, I’m going to end up fucking your mouth?”

“Please…” you whine, imagining his dick between your lips. “You can fuck my mouth.”

Taehyung chuckles, his hot breaths hitting your sensitive skin.

“Right here? You’re okay with them watching?” he asks, clearly amused.

“Show them who this mouth belongs to, Taehyung.”

Belongs to? Suddenly, Taehyung’s world stops. He wants your mouth to belong to him, of course. But does it? Is this just dirty talk? Or do you mean it? He sits back on his hinges, and cards his fingers through his messy hair.

“I want you, Taehyung.” You say smoothly, “Need you.”

Need him? Now he is beginning to spiral even further…you don’t need him. You just want what he can do for you…

“You don’t.” he says quietly, his voice low and his breaths uneven.

“I do.” You say, sitting up to caress his face.

Taehyung’s eyes dart all around the room, his breathing become even rougher. He hates misunderstandings, miscommunication, etc.

“I can’t do this.” He whispers and your eyes go wide in panic.

“W-What do you—”

“—Not until you tell me how you feel.” He says quickly, “I need to know how you feel about me.”

Your eyes widen even more before you’re slowly closing them.

“How I feel about you?” you repeat.

“Yes.”

“I don’t kn—”

“Don’t give me some bullshit, y/n. Either you like me or you don’t.” he stares down at you, his gaze as dark and intense as the day you met him. Taehyung leans down again, until his mouth is at your ear.

“I think you do.” He whispers. “But I need to hear it from you.” He leans away from you again, his expression serious.

“Taehyung…” you begin, “You’re my friend—”

“—Don’t. Do you feel the same way about me that I feel about you?” he finally asks but bluntly.

“You like me, Taehyung?” you ask quietly, the shock evident in your voice.

“How was it not so obvious? I’ve said this before the night we skinny dipped, but your ability to be so naïve…seriously baffles me.” He sighs out.

“Taehyung…” you whisper his name, “I don’t want to lose you.”

“You think having feelings for me means that’s it? That it’s the end? Baby, it would only be the beginning.” Taehyung leans down again as he caresses your face. “I know you’re scared. I know you have trauma that you’re still getting through. I know your ex fucked you up. But I’m not him. I’m Taehyung. I’m…fuck, I don’t know. y/n, please just open your heart to me.” Taehyung looks at you with so much compassion that it physically hurts.

“I know,” your voice shakes, “I know you aren’t him, Tae.” You take his hand in yours, “I do like you.” You finally admit, shutting your eyes.

“Look at me.” Taehyung commands, “Look at me babe.”

You slowly open your eyes again, gazing into his dark ones and you feel yourself grow warmer and warmer.

“I’m only looking at you.” You say as you reach up and kiss him. You kiss him on the lips, long and hard. He smirks into the kiss as his tongue pushes past your lips and you welcome him with your own.

His hands explore your body again, he’s gripping on to your ass as his pulls you closer into his crotch, his hands then travel up your breasts and he’s unclasping your bra, throwing it to the side.

“God, I have waited to see these perfect tits again.” He groans, leaning down until he’s got your left nipple in his mouth, he’s licking it and sucking it making you moan loudly for him.

One of his hands is at your other breast fondling it while his other hand travels down until he’s feeling you over your panties.

“These panties are fucking soaked.” He mumbles, “Good girl.”

You whine when his fingers slide your underwear to the side and his fingers slip between your folds. He slides them around until he’s swirling two fingers over your bundle of nerves, making moan after moan leave your parted lips.

“You like being watched don’t you?” he teases, “Like for others to watch me get you off?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” You pant, “I love it.”

“Good.” Taehyung stops what he’s doing, causing you to groan in frustration.

“Why did you stop?”

“Because you said I could fuck your mouth. So, get ready babe.” He smirks down at you and guides you to sit up.

“Get on your knees for me.” He says as he stands from the couch. You follow his lead and stand up too then immediately drop to your knees in front of him.

“I want to see how good you are at sucking dick.” He smiles down at you, “See how well you can take this fat cock down your throat. Think you can handle it?”

“Yes, Taehyung.” You answer almost obediently, your big doe eyes staring up at him and he feels his heart soar.

“Good.” He pats your head, his fingers playing in your hair. “Good.”

Your eyes travels from his to his obvious erection through his briefs. You reach up for the band of his underwear and start pulling them down, freeing his cock, it bounces off his lower abdomen and the tip is leaking precum. You gulp at the sight. He’s huge. His dick is so long in length, but also so fucking thick.

“You can start easy, baby. Don’t got to shove the whole thing down your throat….yet.” Taehyung chuckles under his breath. “Why don’t you start by licking it?” he suggests and you nod your head.

You reach up to grab it, Taehyung tenses when he feels your small, warm hand wrap itself around his length. You look up at him again with your big, submissive eyes and he licks his lips. “Go on babe.” He quietly urges. “Show me how much you want to suck my cock.”

You lean forward, getting impossibly close as you smear his cum all over the tip of his dick. He groans at the feeling of your hand. You hover you hot mouth over the head and bring your tongue to it, licking him repeatedly, swirling your tongue all around the tip. Taehyung rolls his head back, groaning in satisfaction.

“That’s it baby. Now try taking me in your pretty little mouth.” He watches you with heavy lids.

You then wrap your lips around his cock, and he moans out loud, the feeling of how wet and hot your mouth feels has him losing composure. Not to mention it’s been a while. You begin taking his dick in your mouth inch by inch until he is feeling the back of your throat and you start a slow pace of bobbing your head up and down. He moans out again, you’re fucking sucking him so heavenly. Your tongue, your spit, your lips, your throat. It’s all perfect.

Then your hands join in, they begin pumping him while you suck on his head a little more harshly, he whimpers at the added contact—yes, whimpers. You’re going faster now. And he’s getting closer, you can tell with how his body tenses.

“You’re taking my cock in your mouth so well.” He pants out, “So fucking well.”

You then let his cock slip out of your mouth and you open your mouth wide and stick your tongue out, slapping his cock on it. He could come at the sight alone.

“Going to fuck your mouth now, is that okay?” he warns while taking your hair in his hands.

“Going to come all down your perfect throat, right?”

You nod frantically at the idea, “Please Taehyung, I want all your cum.” You beg for him, still pumping him member in your hand.

“Such a good fucking girl.” He takes his cock into his hand and thrusts it past your lips. You immediately choke on this length, it hits the back of your throat so roughly. Taehyung stares down at you with his sly smile and it only grows as he watches you take his cock. You’re a fucking vision, he thinks. Your wild hair, your exposed tits. You’re fucking drooling and moaning, sending all the vibrations straight to his dick causing him to moan as well. He begins pulling out of your mouth only to slam back in and he starts his pace between your lips. He’s thrusting into your mouth, he’s got a strong grip on your hair and he’s groaning at all the sensations. Your hands find his balls and you begin massaging them lightly making him fuck your mouth faster.

“I’m—I’m going to come.” He warns between bated breaths. “Going to be my best girl and swallow it for me?”

You only moan in response, your eyes on his eyes. He throws his head back in pleasure as he fucks your mouth faster.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck. You’re so fucking hot.” He pants.

You continue to massage his balls and he goes so unbelievably tense, he stills his hips and spills his seed down your abused throat. You quickly swallow it all, moaning as you do so.

“You’re so beautiful y/n.” Taehyung compliments you, completely out of breath. “Only I get to see you like this, okay?” he pulls back from your mouth, raising his briefs over his cock again. He helps you to your feet, and pulls you into his chest.

“So fucking gorgeous.”

“I need you, Taehyung.” You release a few short breaths, “Need you so bad.”

~

You get thrown on to the unbelievably soft mattress in your room, the soft sheets caressing your naked top half. Your breasts bounce as you land and Taehyung looks down at you, amused.

“What?” You ask, becoming shy.

“Nothing. Just really love your tits.” He groans out as you go to cover your chest. “Oh there’s no hiding from me, babe.” He smiles.

“These are mine.” You playfully say and Taehyung quirks a brow at you.

“You share now.” He says, leaning down and capturing your lips with his in a short but heated kiss. “Okay?”

“O—Okay.” You breathe out, “Whatever you say.”

“Now you’re learning.” He teases.

You gaze into Taehyung’s eyes and you feel yourself going weak, you really are a fool for this man. He has this power over you that you can barely describe.

“Tae…” You rub your thighs together and he smirks, leaning down to lick a strip up your throat, the cool air hitting that wet spot sending chills across your body.

“Hm?” he hums, his mouth hot on your neck as he places kisses.

“Need you.”

“My girl is so needy.”

“Your girl?”

Taehyung lifts his head from your neck and stares down at you, his sly smile growing much softer as he gazes at you.

“You’re mine now, you get that right?” he asks quietly. “I want you. I…like you so much…fuck, like so much.” He sighs out. “You and me are going to make it out of here and I will still want you. You understand?” he leans down until his nose is brushing yours. “I want to make this work.”

You’re left speechless. Taehyung feels this strongly about you? You blink up at him with wide eyes and he smiles at you.

“I really, really fucking like you.” He whispers against your lips. “Tell me you understand…tell me you feel the same…” he quietly begs, his voice soft.

“I understand.” Your hushed voice making it past your lips as you lean up to kiss him. “I really like you too…” you caress his face with your hand and he pulls away from you.

“Do you want me?” Taehyung asks and you laugh.

“Baby I fucking need you.” And you’re pulling him down again, his lips crashing into yours. You kiss him over and over until your lips are so pink and swollen.

“What do you…what do you need from me? I want you to tell me.” Taehyung commands breathlessly.

“You.” You whine and he lightly spanks the side of your hip.

“Not uh.” He shakes his finger at you. “What do you want specifically? I want you to say it.”

You squirm beneath him, feeling shy all of the sudden at his request but you find his eyes and open your mouth to speak.

“Your fingers. Your mouth. Your cock.” You whisper, rubbing your thighs together.

“Louder.”

“Your fingers. Your mouth. Your cock.” You say just a bit louder and he smirks.

“Louder.”

“I want your fingers! Your mouth! I want your fucking cock!” you cry out and he looks at you with a look of pride.

“Good.” He says while playing with the band of your panties. “Let’s take these off, shall we?”

You nod your head frantically, you reek of desperation and Taehyung couldn’t be more pleased.

His fingers dance around the waist band of your underwear, smirking down at you and letting a harsh breath leave his mouth.

“I never got to taste you. I bet you taste so fucking good.” His fingers slide underneath your panties when his eyes widen once he feels your heat. “fuck, you are soaked baby girl.”

“You did this to me…” you admit as you flutter your eyelashes at him.

“y/n…” he whimpers, the sound so fucking sexy to your ears. Your mind is so hazy, so full of lust.

“All mine… say it.” Taehyung dips his fingers between your damp folds and you moan out in pleasure.

“All yours.” You repeat. “I’m all yours.”

“Yes.” He pecks your lips over and over. You slip your hand inside his briefs and he groans at the contact. “Say it again. That you’re all mine.” He continues to rub your clit over and over. Your hand starts stroking his hardening cock and you smile into his kisses.

“I’m all yours, Taehyung.”

Taehyung’s cock is so pretty, so long, so thick. You love the way it feels as he thrusts himself in your hand. You want it inside you. Your breathing picks up and you sound so fucking breathless as you speak.

“All yours.” You say again and he continues to move his hips into your hand, getting himself off. His head drops down into the crook of your neck and he smiles against your skin.

“You make me feel so good.” He admits between rough breaths, “I need you y/n. I could honestly come in your hand but would much rather come in you.” Then he’s jerking his head up.

“Wait do we have condoms?” Taehyung asks and you smirk.

“In the nightstand drawer. But they supplied me with birth control…I’ve been taking it because of my period…so we don’t need to use—”

“You’re saying I can fuck this pussy raw?” he growls, “Saying I can fill you up with my cum?”

His lips are back on your lips and he’s kissing you with more depth and more passion now, your arousal wetting you as he works you up. You throw your legs around his middle, wrapping them tightly as he immediately pushes his painfully hard member against your core.

“Off. Take them off.” You demand between harsh breaths. And without another second passing, Taehyung is rushing to take his briefs off. And before you even realize it he is back on you, between your legs.

“These have to come off too.” He smirks, dancing his fingers up your thighs until he reaches your panties. He gently begins pulling them down, slipping them off one leg at a time. Then his eyes go completely dark. The darkest you have ever seen them. They’re fixated on your pussy and you begin to squirm under his gaze. He’s got his hands holding your legs down and then suddenly he is throwing your legs over his shoulders. He finally makes eye contact with you with hooded eyes.

“You’re so fucking wet.” He licks his lips. “I can see it.”

You know you turn red, red as your fucking underwear. You want to feel embarrassed, you really do but you only find yourself staring up at him with a smile.

“So fucking beautiful.” He says, his eyes focused on your cunt, you can feel your wetness drip down your thigh. God, what does he do to you?

“Taehyung please…” your words come out broken between harsh breaths.

“Please what baby?” he says before placing a kiss on the skin of your inner thigh.

“Please,” You screw your eyes shut, gripping the sheets beneath you. “Touch me.”

His mouth places wet kisses on your inner thigh, he glides his lips closer and closer to where you need him most. He hasn’t even touched you where you need him yet but you are already moaning. His name pushing past your lips in desperation.

Taehyung raises his head to watch you, your eyes are barely open but you can see him give you the deadliest smirk of your life. In a blur his head is dipping down again and you groan out when you feel him lick from your core to your aching clit. It’s almost overwhelming. His tongue is warm and slippery and you cry out again when his mouth finds your most sensitive spot and he sucks on it. Hard.

“Taehyung!” You scream out, your heels digging into his back. He slips his tongue into you and his thumb begins rubbing harsh circles on your bundle of nerves. He pulls your hips closer to him to get a better angle and he fucking finds it. His tongue is circling and licking at your clit while he slips two fingers into your heat, thrusting them inside until you are squirming.

You whine and whimper, your lips permanently parted as harsh breaths push past. His mouth feels so good and his fingers are deadly. Within a few minutes you are throwing your head back, crying out in pleasure as your high overtakes your body. You push your thighs together, probably squishing Taehyung’s head between your legs as you ride it out. His tongue never stops, even as you are coming down from your orgasm. His eyes are on yours and you see the evil glint. He keeps fucking going. You start to move around uncomfortably as the oversensitivity hits, you crease your brows and beg Taehyung to stop. But he doesn’t. He only comes up for air for a minute to say,

“You can take it baby.” Then he dives back in, attacking your most sensitive spot. After a few more uncomfortable seconds, the pleasure starts to come again. You are on the verge of fucking tears, the pain turned pleasure just turning you on more. It doesn’t take a lot to get you on the brink of your next orgasm, no, not really. Your hands are in Taehyung’s hair, pulling at it and when you hear him grunt in response you decide that’s all it takes for you. You scream out his name as you are coming all over his offensive tongue. You are so fucking out of breath as you come down from possibly the best orgasm of your life. Your hands fall to your sides because you are fucking dead.

Taehyung gently lowers your legs to the bed, his body still between them, sitting back on his heels. You open your eyes to get a look at him and you can’t believe it but you feel yourself getting turned on again—his hair is disheveled as fuck, his eye lids heavy, and his face glistening with your juices.

“Such a good girl.” He breathes out, his voice husky and low. He looks the hottest you have ever seen him. You glance down to see how painfully hard his cocks looks, and it does. It looks upset, like you should be touching it. Like it should be inside you.

“Come here.” You whine. And he does, he leans over your body with his, laying on top of you without putting any weight on your body. You reach up to smooth his hair down, even though he looks cute with it sticking out in random places.

“That was amazing.” You admit, your breathing still heavy.

“It’s not over.” His voice is strained, almost like he is in pain. And he probably is.

You reach below him and take his cock into your small hand. He hisses at the contact, his eyes slamming shut.

“Fuck.” He whimpers into your neck. “Fuuuuck.” He repeats slowly as you start stroking him. You take his cock and begin slipping it between your folds, sliding it up and down. It hurts you a bit but you take it. It’s all worth it when you hear Taehyung release the sexiest most drawn out moan you have ever heard. His head is in the crook of your neck and he bites down into the skin and starts moving his hips—almost hesitantly.

“Wanna fuck you…” he whispers.

His cock is getting coated in your wetness so it’s easy to start pumping him with your hand. Taehyung whines. A higher pitch than you are used to with him and it goes straight to your fucking greedy ass vagina and you are turned on all over again.

“Then fuck me.” You say in his ear.

Taehyung lifts his head up and looks down at you with his intense gaze that fucking kills you.

“Are you sure?” his hand comes up to cup your cheek and you feel yourself grow even more soft for him.

“I’m more than sure.” You say gently, then you let your eyes fall to his cock in your hand and you feel the heat creep up your neck. “I need you so bad baby”

And then there is a switch. Taehyung goes from looking at you tenderly to looking at you like you are his fucking meal. He licks his lips and bites down on his bottom lip.

“Then fucking have me.” He growls, taking his cock into his own hand, and gliding it down to your core. And then it happens, he slides into you one delicious inch at a time. You both moan out in pleasure. Like, finally. After all this time, after all these months of built up tension you finally have his cock inside you.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” Taehyung grunts as you clench your walls around him. He slowly eases his cock out of you, just leaving the tip in before he slams his hips into you. You yelp out as he does that same motion a couple more times. He’s fucking you fast and deep, the sensation causing you to scream out his name and other incoherent words. His cock brushes against your G spot as he goes deeper and deeper. It has you crying out, your whines and moans filling the room. He goes faster, his hips thrusting into you at a brutal pace now.

“Get on all 4’s, I want your ass up.” He commands. you scramble to get on your hands and knees, listening to his demand. Fuck.

“Do you like it rough baby?” He moans out, slipping his cock back inside you.

“Yes.” You say under your breath.

Smack. He hand meets your ass.

“Didn’t hear you, speak up.” He grunts, starting his brutal pace again.

“Yes!” you scream out, this position has him hitting your sensitive spots in a different delicious angle. He fucks you like this for several minutes, your bodies slamming against one another, the sound of his skin slapping yours filling your ears.

“Good. Fuck baby, you feel so fucking good.” He continues to fuck you as he pulls you up, your back meeting his chest. He holds you up by wrapping his fingers around your throat, squeezing lightly. He places a kiss on your shoulder. “Fucking made for me.”

You moan out, his words pushing you closer to the edge a-fucking-gain.

“You feel even better Taehyung.” You say between moans.

This earns you his fingers on your clit. He reaches around and begins rubbing his fingers quickly that your knees buckle. The added pressure of his fingers has your orgasm coming soon and you cry out warning him that you’re close.

“On your back, wanna see you when you come.” He demands, but there is a softness in his voice, it makes you melt.

His cock momentarily leaves your heat as you lay on your back, looking into his eyes as he hovers over you. Taehyung takes your legs and wraps them around his middle and quickly slips his cock inside you once again. He pace is slower than before, he falls forward, his head meeting the crook of your neck. He’s whispering sweet words in your ear as his fingers find your clit again and you are falling apart.

“You’re so perfect,” he whispers, his voice muffled by your hair.

He begins to thrust into you harder, really fucking hard. His balls slapping against your ass, makes the most delicious noises and you feel his cock reach deep within you, pulling you into your next orgasm, his fingers still never giving up.

“I’m gonna come!” You cry out, your walls squeezing him.

“Baby wait for me, I’m close.” He pants,

“I can’t I can’t” You scream, your eyes screwing shut as your orgasm approaches you.

“You will fucking wait for me baby” It’s a demand. He isn’t asking, he’s telling.

“Be a good girl and,” he thrusts harder and faster, so fucking fast. Your body is being shook with every thrust. “And wait. Can you do that for me?” He continues his assault on your clit.

“Yes, yes.” You cry out, tears pricking your eyes. You want to come so bad, that it physically hurts. But you try to hold it off, you try so fucking hard but he’s fucking you into the next existence.

Taehyung rolls his hips into yours, and you meet him half way. You buck your hips into him as well because you are fucking desperate. You notice his thrusts are less precise, becoming just a bit sloppy. Thank fucking sweet baby Jesus. He’s close.

“Fuck...I like you so much…” He moves into you with desperation, his words falling into your ear as he whispers to you. His hips slapping into you quickly and sloppily.

“Me too, fuck. Me too.” And that’s it. His hips buck into you harshly, stilling. He groans out loudly, coming inside you. “Come.” He demands. His fingers pressing harder onto your clit. And you do. You come so fucking hard. You squeeze him, milking him dry. You whine out, tears leaving your eyes as you slam them shut in pleasure.

“Good girl.”

Then the room is silent besides the pants coming from the two of you. You hum when you feel him slip out of you, he leans back and sits on his heels watching the cum drip out of you. Then he reaches his hand forward and stuffs his fingers inside of your pussy and you yelp out.

“You’re keeping my cum inside you.” His dark eyes staying solely on your heat.

“Yes.” You moan out, your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

Taehyung’s fingers leave your center and the next thing you feel is his fingers pushing past your lips and him telling you to lick him clean. You are still shaking from your orgasm but you listen. You open your eyes and stare deeply into his while sucking on his fingers. They taste like you, taste like him. Fucking delicious.

Closing your eyes, you even out your breathing. You feel Taehyung get off the bed and the sounds of his footsteps tell you he’s walking to the bathroom. Your eyes stay shut. You just had the best sex of your life with someone…someone like Taehyung. If that isn’t the most magical feeling ever, you don’t know what is. After a few seconds you feel the bed dip, and a warm, damp towelette is being used to clean you up. You open one eye to look at the view.

Taehyung sits on his knees next to you, spreading your legs apart as he wipes your inner thighs. Then very carefully he begins cleaning the real mess. You bite your lip from the sensation, you are incredibly sensitive and you wince. Taehyung’s eyes shoot up to observe you.

“Almost done baby” he whispers, his hand squeezing your knee.

When he’s finished he throws the dirty towel in the hamper and focuses his attention back on you again.

“You should go pee.” He suggests softly, his hand rubbing your knee.

“Can’t move.” You close your eyes again when you hear him chuckle. “Will you come lay with me?” you ask, your eyes still closed.

You feel him shift around until he’s at your side, slipping an arm under your head.

You’re silent for a few moments, just enjoying one another’s presence. He swings his other arm around your waist and pulls you closer.

“y/n, I need to know if you really understand.” Taehyung sighs out. “This wasn’t just sex to me,” he begins. “This was way more than that. Fuck, it felt amazing. How do you feel?”

“Best sex of my life.” You whisper truthfully and Taehyung can’t help but chuckle.

“We were made for each other.” He whispers back. “soulmates, remember?”

And suddenly your heart sinks. This company forced this to happen, didn’t it? This company forced your friendship on him now this? This company—

“Would it be crazy to say I’m falling in love with you?” Taehyung asks quietly. He hears you suck in a sharp breath and he starts to panic. You don’t know what to say.

“Taehyung.” You whisper his name so fucking softly that he closes his eyes in understanding.

“I’ll wait until you’re ready.” He says, pulling you closer into his chest. “Let’s just enjoy our time together, okay? I’m sure we will be out of here soon and then we have the challenges of the real world. So for now, let’s enjoy our little bubble.”

You still don’t know to respond…your heart is still feeling heavy but somehow his ideas sound good.

“Okay.” You yawn out, agreeing with him. You snuggle closer to his chest, inhaling him. You feel your body grow so tired, sleep trying to make its way with you. You feel Taehyung drawing circles on the skin of your back with his fingers and it soothes you beyond belief.

“Y/n?” Taehyung whispers your name but you’re silent. You’ve fallen asleep.

“Fuck.” He says with gritted teeth, “I really am falling in love with you.”

[babymetaldoll]

DIWK: Chapter eleven: "Can't get you off my mind"

|Word count:  9,7K

Summary:  Reader struggles with her feelings for Spencer and tries to work with Seaver. Neither of those things works. Spencer's headaches are getting worse. Also, it's Anderson's birthday! Things are getting a little more complicated.

Warnings:  Hardcore fools in love. It's getting painful to watch. Spoilers of Criminal Minds Season 6 Episode 11. 25 to life. Cursing, and frustration. Alcohol consumption. Assholes being blind.

A/N: Please don't hate me! but these two are just so blind, it hurts!

Masterlist

Chapter one | Chapter two | Chapter three | Chapter four | Chapter five | Chapter six | Chapter seven | Chapter eight | Chapter nine | Chapter ten | Chapter eleven | Chapter twelve | Chapter thirteen | Chapter fourteen | Chapter fifteen |

.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.•*•.

Spencer's point of view

Psychotics in a break always evolve. Well, I was psychotic at that minute of my life, but the only things evolving were my migraines. They were driving me insane. I could feel them taking over my life, my head, my sanity. I could feel my good judgment slipping through my fingers every day, especially since (Y/N) had started acting strange.

It wasn't like she had stopped talking to me or hanging out with me. But I could feel a void growing between us every day. And it was driving me insane. I couldn't understand where it had come from. I just knew it was eating me alive.

Morgan was having a bad day. One really bad day. The man he had vouched for parole had just murdered a man after nearly 70 hours of freedom, and now the team was trying to solve the whole case. Don Sanderson claimed he had been framed guilty of the murder of his wife and baby daughter, but after 25 years in prison, the first thing he did as a free man was to murder someone else.

It made no sense.

We had visited the murder scene. Hotch was still on a leave, so it was just Prentiss, (Y/N), Morgan, Rossi, Seaver, and I. Emily was in full "training agent's duty," walking Seaver through every step of the procedure, which was very nice of her. It was her first case after the incident in New Mexico, and she was eager to do better work than that time. She was nearly jumping all over the place, taking notes.

I talked with Garcia on the phone because he was worried about Morgan, and then I walked to (Y/N), who kept a safe distance from Emily and Seaver.

- "The bullets were in the other room, but the gun is right here,"- I said as I looked around the room. (Y/N) turned to me, ready to speak her mind, but Ashley spoke first, which annoyed her beyond belief.

- "Maybe killing him was an accident."

I looked at my best friend as Prentiss and Ashley continued talking. She just crossed her arms and walked around the room. She surely wasn't dealing well with having Seaver around. I wanted to ask her something, anything, but nothing came to mind.

- "Sanderson was out of prison for what, Reid?"- I answered Emily's question but didn't even turn to look at her. My eyes were following (Y/N), moving around that room.

- "At the time of the murder, 51 hours."

- "He's free for 2 days and change? What's the big hurry to find this guy?"

- "Are you ok?"- I whispered and stood next to (Y/N) as Prentiss and Ashley kept analyzing the scene.

- "Yeah, just tired."

- "Do you wanna have dinner with me tonight? I didn't see you this weekend, and I thought we could do a movie night."

(Y/N) took her time to answer, but finally, after a moment, she nodded and agreed.

- "Movie night sounds nice."

- "Great, ‘cos I rented your favorites."- I might have sounded more excited than I should, but I had really missed her those days, and I may or may not have watched and read Pride and Prejudice a couple of times.

- "Did you? Really?"

- "Yes, I was hoping to spend some time with you."

- "Are you coming, Spence?"- Seaver interrupted us and looked from the door- "Rossi called. They are interviewing Sanderson at the BAU."

- "Yeah, we are coming,"- I answered and looked away. (Y/N) shook her head and walked outside in silence the second Prentiss called my name, and I couldn't follow her. Which, I guess, was a good thing.

- "Is everything ok?"- Emily stayed behind with me. She raised an eyebrow, watching (Y/N) walking out of the room as Ashley waited for us by the door.

- "Yes?"- my answer came more as a question because I honestly didn't know what to say- "Everything is ok, Emily."

- "Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have the feeling (Y/N) isn't thrilled to have agent Seaver around."- I almost chuckled at her words and just nodded.

- "It's not like she has made it hard to tell. She literally yelled at her at the jet."

- "Is she mad at me because I am supervising her training?"

- "I don't know. I don't think so… she hasn't told me so. Well, she hasn't talked to me much lately."

- "Why? Did you fight?"- Prentiss wide opened her eyes and moved a little closer to me, trying to read my expressions.

- "No, I don't know what's going on. She just… we…"- I couldn't find the right words to explain my mind, and I think Prentiss knew it, ‘cos she didn't push me.

- "You should talk to her."

- "Yeah, we are going out tonight."

- "You have a date?"- Ashley walked over and asked me with a short smile. I cleared my throat and shook my head right away.

- "No, just meeting with a friend."

- "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to intrude,"- Seaver blushed and looked at her shoes. Prentiss smiled, probably reading something I wasn't seeing.

- "Come on, Rossi is probably waiting for us at the BAU, and I'm guessing Morgan is not in a good mood."

For the rest of the day, I tried to find a moment alone with (Y/N). I needed to talk about what was going on. But it was impossible. We worked late, rereading the original case files, trying to find something that might help us help Sanderson. But it was frustrating and nearly impossible.

So around nine, we decided to call it a day and go home.

- "Are you in the mood for Chinese?"- I looked at (Y/N), gathering all the things as I stood next to her desk- I thought maybe we could get some take-out from that place you love on our way home.

- "Sounds nice. What are we watching?"

- "Pride and Prejudice, Coraline, maybe Beetlejuice. You pick, I've got all your favorites,"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes, looking at me in silence- "What?"

- "So you rented movies ‘cos you wanted to hang out with me?"

- "Yes."

- "You usually don't rent movies. You rent documentaries."

- "Yes, but I wanted to do something different this time. I told you I missed you."

(Y/N) blushed as she stood in front of me, biting the inner part of her cheek, trying not to smile. I looked at her, nearly beaming, excited to see her reaction. I had felt so scared to lose her, feeling her pushing away from me. It was a balm watching her so happy, and just because I missed her.

- "I love Pride and Prejudice,"- Ashley said from her desk- "I've read that book so many times, I think I can recite it."

I looked at her and nodded with an awkward smile. I knew she was just trying to be nice ‘cos she was new at the BAU, and she was also trying to be nicer to (Y/N), to get on her good side. But that wasn't the way to get to her. Maybe I had to talk to Seaver and explain that my best friend is a special woman.

Neither of us answered her comment. We just stood there, looking at her in silence, until Anderson walked over and waved.

- "Hey agents, before you go, I wanted to tell you, this Friday I'm celebrating my birthday, and I'd love to have you over."

- "Of course, Sonny!"- (Y/N) wide opened her eyes and clapped. She had called him "Sonny" since they sang "I got you babe" by Sonny and Cher in the karaoke at the Christmas party the year before.

- "Happy birthday, Anderson!"- Derek waved.

- "Thank you! We'll gather at a bar nearby. I'll text you the address."

- "We wouldn't miss it for the world,"- Prentiss added and smiled- "Do you mind if we tell JJ and Garcia?"

- "Please do! I haven't seen JJ since she left, and it would be amazing to have her over. You too, agent Seaver."

- "Thank you!"- Ashley smiled and nodded- "Count me in."

I could feel (Y/N)'s eyes rolling, annoyed, even when I wasn't even looking at her at that minute. I grabbed my bag and my coat and held her hand.

- "Bye, guys! See you tomorrow!"- that was all I said as I dragged her out of the bullpen. Emily waved at us, and Derek cut me an evil grin I could decode easily. I just ignored him and turned to the door.

- "Have fun, pretty girl!!"- Morgan chuckled at his own words, and (Y/N) just smiled and winked. Why? Probably to show him she didn't care about all his teasing, ‘cos nothing was ever going to happen between us.

(Y/N)'s point of view

It might have been childish, but I had to take advantage of Morgan's innuendo just to show Seaver things could happen between Spencer and me. It had been immature and silly, but I just felt like I needed to do it. It was like a stupid animal instinct that forced me to mark my territory.

I shouldn't have done it. Spencer wasn't mine. Not even close. And I had to stop being jealous of Seaver. If he didn't want me, he had the right to be with anyone else. But just the thought of Spencer being with someone, anyone, made me feel sick in my stomach. I hated being in love with him. I honestly did, ‘cos I didn't want to ruin our friendship with useless feelings. Spencer wasn't in love with me. He was just my friend. My very thoughtful, cute, adorable, and lovable best friend.

I was fucked. Completely and utterly fucked. Even that second, sitting on that couch with Spencer, I couldn't focus on the movie. I pretended, but I didn't even pay attention to it. All I could think of was how warm his body felt sitting next to me, like a gigantic magnet that called for me. I could simply just move my hand and intertwined his fingers with mine. Or lean in closer, rest my head on his shoulder, feel how he wraps an arm around me, and melt in his embrace, like I had done a million times before.

But I couldn't. I had to stop that daydream of a domestic and romantic life with Spencer. It wasn't healthy. It wasn't sane. But most of all: I wasn't real. And I was never going to move forward in life if I kept thinking those movie nights meant something.

- "More popcorn?- Spencer handed me the bowl, and I shook my head- "You have been awfully quiet considering we are watching Coraline."

- "Well, we are supposed to watch the movie in silence,"- I answered and didn't take my eyes from the screen.

- "You have never done that."

- "Maybe I wanted to give it a try."

I grabbed a bunch of popcorn just to keep myself busy. I could feel Spencer's eyes on me, and it was killing me ‘cos I knew I didn't have to look at him. If I did, I wasn't sure how I would react. I was overthinking everything and anything you might think of.

- "Are you ok?"

- "Yeah. Sure."

No, I wasn't.

- "(Y/N), can you look at me?"- Spencer paused the movie and turned to me. I hesitated, thinking my best friend is an amazing profiler, and I didn't want him to know how I felt about him ‘cos it didn't want to ruin our friendship.

After a few seconds, I moved on the couch and raised an eyebrow. His brown eyes stared into mine in silence for a moment, trying to read me.

- "What is going on?"

- "Nothing,"- I lied and frowned- "Why are you so obsessed with the idea something is going on?"

- "‘Cos I have this… feeling."

- "You got a feeling?"- I chuckled, trying to be funny but failing completely. In the end, I just stared into his eyes for what seemed to be a million years but were, in fact, just a few seconds.

- "Are we ok?"

- "Of course, we are, Spencer."

- "You never call me that"- he frowned immediately, almost hurt.

- "What?"

- "You just call me Spencer when we are on a case, and there are people around us. But when we are home, I'm never Spencer to you."

"When we are home." That killed me. I hadn't realized how badly I wanted that to be our home, to have a life with Spencer.

I was in love with my best friend. I was spending every single hour of every single day of my life with him. That wasn't right! If I knew he didn't have feelings for me, why was I doing that to myself?

- "(Y/N)?"- Spencer's voice took me from my thoughts. He looked so worried I didn't know how to convince him there wasn't anything wrong, considering it felt like everything was wrong.

- "What is it?"

- "Please tell me what's wrong."

- "I told you, nothing is wrong. I just called you Spencer. That's your name. It's a lovely name. I had never met someone called Spencer ever before in my entire life. You just called me (Y/N), not pumpkin, cupcake, chipmunk, or ma chère,"- he sighed, frustrated and maybe a little annoyed.

- "Nothing is wrong, honey. I'm really ok. Just tired, maybe feeling a little invaded with Seaver in the team"- I knew he knew I hated her, so I had to blame her in a way.

- "Why?"

- "You know I'm not her fan... I hate working with her,"- I kind of chuckled at my own words because I was trying to make a joke out of my awful reality.

- "It's just for a few weeks,"- he tried to reassure me, probably to ease my mood, but the truth was I hated how it always felt like he was defending her.

- "One week, one day, it's the same torture,"- I shook my head and turned to the screen again.

- "Don't be dramatic."

- "I'm not dramatic! I just hate how she is always playing the victim ‘cos her father is a serial killer. She is clearly overcompensating! Besides, we have all gone through bad shit in our lives, and no one is using it as a tool to get things in life."

- "I don't think that's what she is doing."

- "No? Do you think she belongs at the BAU? She is a trainee agent who almost got killed in her first assignment. She works hard, and she is not stupid, I give you that. But she is not top of her class. She is not there ‘cos she is the brightest. She is there ‘cos Rossi, Hotch, and probably Prentiss felt bad for her after what happened and decided to let her hang around and learn something for a while. If you ask me, I think there are more qualified trainee agents we could use in the team, but Seaver played her "my father was a serial killer" card and got the job. And who knows how many times she had done it before, and how many times she will use it again."

Ok, that may or may not have been too hard, but it was exactly how I felt. There was a deep silence in Spencer's apartment. The movie was still paused, and after my speech, Spencer just looked at me with wide-opened eyes. I just sighed and regretted every word that had left my lips ‘cos they made me sound bitter and shallow. But at least they didn't tell him the truth: that I was jealous of the thought Seaver might get his attention. Scared that he could look at her the way he had never looked at me. Just to imagine I could bump into them kissing terrified me.

- "Maybe I should just go home,"- I whispered and tried to stand up, but Spencer grabbed my arm and pulled me back onto the couch.

- "No, please. Stay,"- his voice was a whisper but still managed to shake me.

- "I don't wanna argue with you, honey,"- I thought I would speak too loud, but no, I actually murmured, matching his tone of voice.

- "We don't have to talk about Seaver anymore. Just watch the movie with me. You love this movie."

- "You love this book,"- I added and looked at him. He smiled. God, that smile is going to be the end of me.

- "It's just so dark! But it has such a good message."

- "Not all nice people are good people?"- I just spoke about what the book had meant to me ever since I was a little girl, and Spencer analyzed the whole plot again in less than a minute.

- "I was going to say overcoming your fears, but I like your analysis the most."

- "Of course, you do, ‘cos it's better,"- I teased and stuck out my tongue to him. Spencer just stared at me and nodded.

- "You might be right. Yours is much better,"- he kept his eyes on me for a few more seconds and continued smiling until he snapped from his thoughts- "More tea, ma chère?"

- "No, honey, thank you. I'm good."

I cut him a quick smile and sat back on the couch, trying to relax. I knew it was going to be impossible, but I honestly didn't want to leave. I wanted to be with him. I had stayed home alone the whole weekend, hidden underneath a pile of blankets, in something that looked pretty much like a fort, according to Lu's words. She had stayed with me Saturday night ‘cos I told her I needed a girl's night. It was my poor attempt to stay away from Reid, and she was happy to help.

Ok, Lu didn't know I wanted to stay away from Reid. I just told her I needed a girl's night. I really didn't want to deal with all her questions. You have the right to avoid dealing with your feelings from time to time if you can. And I told Spencer Lu wasn't feeling so good, so I wanted to spend some time with her. He sounded disappointed ‘cos he was making plans for our weekend off but understood completely I needed to be with my friend.

See? Spencer made it so easy falling in love with him! He was so thoughtful it freaking hurt!

I couldn't fight the feeling anymore and rested my head on his shoulder. It felt he was waiting for me to make that move, ‘cos in a few seconds, his arm was wrapped around me protectively.

- "I know Lu needed you, but you missed a whole weekend of cuddling on this couch watching your favorite movies with me,"- Spencer whispered, bumping his head carefully against mine. I bit my lips and smiled, not taking my eyes away from the screen.

- "We do this pretty often"- that was all I could answer.

- "At least once a week for the last… thirteen-month two weeks, and… four days."

- "I love how precise you can be when it comes to our friendship, honey."

Calling it a friendship hurt me at that point, but it was what it was. Spencer chuckled and just nodded. We enjoyed our company in silence for a moment. His fingers drawing figures on my arm and my head resting on his shoulder, letting his smell invade me. It was heaven.

We were finally watching the movie… though what I really wanted was to watch a movie with Spencer instead of actually watching it. But that was the nature of our relationship. We were friends. Friends don't watch movies.

- "No way,"- I argued when his cellphone rang and interrupted our moment- "Please tell me we don't have a case."

- "We don't,"- he quickly answered and picked up the phone- "Hello? Hi… it's ok, tell me"- he didn't stand up or moved from me. He kept holding me tight against his body and finished his call by simply saying.

- "We can meet tomorrow at seven at work. I can help you with your test."- I hated those words immediately.

- "It's not a problem, see you tomorrow. Bye."

I was afraid to ask ‘cos I knew the answer. The knot on my stomach was the fair warning of what had just happened. That bitch had ruined our moment yet again.

- "What are you doing tomorrow at seven?"- I did my best to sound as casual as possible, but I knew that conversation might not end well. He hesitated. I could nearly hear his neurons struggling to find the correct answer to that question. Until he simply whispered:

- "Please don't get mad."

- "Why would I?"

- "‘Cos Ashley just called to ask me to help her study for a test…"

I took a deep breath and held it for a few seconds, doing my best to calm myself down at least a little before speaking.

- "I'm not mad, Spencer,"- I tried to lie as smoothly as possible. I even cut him a smile and looked into his hazel and confused eyes.

- "I know you don't like her, but I had offered to help in case she needed any… what?"

- "I'm not mad, really,"- I smiled again and turned to the screen- "We said we were not going to argue, and besides, she just called to ask you for help. That's not something to be mad about, right?"

Technically I wasn't mad. I was beyond furious.

- "Are you sure?"- he narrowed his eyes, baffled- "Not that I want you to be mad or something, but we just argued over her, and you said you felt invaded by her… so…"

- "Yes, but I don't wanna argue anymore. I don't want you to think I hate Seaver because I don't. And most of all, I don't want her to be the reason we fight. I don't wanna fight with you. Ever."

Spencer sighed, relieved, and smiled, pleased with my answer.

Spencer's point of view

Something felt off the following day when I walked into the bullpen and saw Ashley waiting for me by my desk with two cups of coffee. (Y/N) had said everything was ok, and I decided I wanted to believe her. But I had an awful feeling about everything that was going on.

- "Hi!"- Ashley smiled and handed me a cup- "Figured you might appreciate one of these for making you wake up earlier."

- "Thank you"- I smiled awkwardly and held the cup- "Are you ready?"

- "Yes, I brought all the notes from the class and my books…"- she set them on her desk and giggled as I went through her notes, sipping my cup- "I feel back in high school…"

- "Why?"

- "I wasn't the best student back then, and I always had to ask my classmates for help,"- I couldn't help but think of something (Y/N) had said the night before.

- "And are you a good student at the academy?"

- "Yes, I think. I'm not in the top three of my class, but I have good grades. I'm just not… a genius, like you."

Her eyes lingered on my face, and her cheeks blushed after a few seconds. I frowned, not getting why she was embarrassed. Was it just ‘cos she didn't have the same honorifics as I did?

- "I don't believe that intelligence can be accurately quantified,"- I simply answered, remembering how many times in my life I had ever said something like that. Way too many, to be honest.

It was hard to focus on the subject when Seaver kept asking me personal questions every five minutes. She seemed more interested in knowing about my childhood in Las Vegas than learning about profiling and victimology.

- "Good morning, kids!"- I turned around and smiled at Morgan, so glad to see him I might have actually felt a little relieved- "What are you doing here so early?"

- "Hey! I was just helping Ashley with her test,"- I stood up and walked from her desk over his- "And about you?"

- "I have a meeting with Strauss in a while, and Sanderson's case didn't let me sleep. It was better to come here and start working than to keep on rolling on my bed. But I'm glad you are here. Wanna help me go through a few extra files?"

- "Of course!"- I left the notes I was holding on the closest desk and walked with Morgan to the conference room.

I considered our session with Seaver finished, mostly ‘cos for the last ten minutes, she had been asking about me. What I liked doing outside the BAU, favorite bands, hobbies, anything. I answered her questions and kept trying to push her to study. I didn't want her to blame me if she failed her test.

- "Hey, kid."- Morgan whispered after a few minutes and took a look around, just to make sure no one else was near. I looked at him confused ‘cos he was never that careful to say anything in the office.

- "Is everything ok?"

- "Yes?"- I answered, though it sounded like a question ‘cos I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

- "Are you excited to have Seaver on the team for the next month?"- I shrugged and kept reading the file in my hands- "Come on, Reid. She is clearly sweet to you."

- "I don't know what you are talking about."

- "She has a crush on you, kid."

- "No, she doesn't!"

- "Come on! Are you blind?"- I stared at Morgan, not getting what he was talking about- "Man, Seaver gives you loving eyes even when we are on the field!"

- "She does not!"- I knew I was blushing. I hated those kinds of conversations, and Morgan always made me feel awkward when he hinted I should flirt with a girl or just talk to them.

- "And I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything like that ever again."

- "What's the matter, kid? You don't think she is pretty?"

- "I don't look at her that way!"- I buried my head in a file and tried not to notice how he scanned my whole face, looking for micro expressions.

- "I see. Are you afraid (Y/N) might get jealous?"- Morgan chuckled at his words and tapped on my back a few times, making me flinch- "Relax, man. I'm just kidding!"

- "I don't like those jokes, Derek. Really."

Morgan kept his eyes on me a little longer and nodded. I did my best not to show how I really felt, but somehow, I failed miserably.

- "You know, kid, it would be much easier if you just told (Y/N) how you feel about her,"- Derek's voice was soft and even more concerned than I thought he could be. I nearly shook when I heard him, so I failed my mission of remaining stoic.

- "Reid, it's ok. There's nothing wrong with having feelings for her."

- "I don't… like talking about this,"- I whispered and closed the file- "Can we just focus on work, please?"- Derek nodded and stayed quiet for a few seconds. But I knew he wasn't done yet.

- "Reid, listen. I know you are not really fond of sharing how you feel with us, I know you share almost everything that happens in your life with (Y/N), and as your friend, I've always felt glad and relieved to know you have her. But if there's something you can't tell her, and you need to talk to someone, you can count on me. You know that, right?"

I nodded and looked at him. That conversation took me back to the year I was using and had to keep it secret from my friends. I knew I could count on Morgan if anything happened, but I really wasn't comfortable sharing my thoughts, feelings, and fears with people. (Y/N) made it so easy. Was it ‘cos I loved her? I just always felt I could tell her anything. That had never happened to me before with anyone.

- "Morgan, Strauss was looking for you,"- Rossi walked into the room holding a cup of coffee and stared at us, raising an eyebrow- "Everything ok?"

- "Yes, we were just going through some files,"- Morgan stood up and grabbed the case folder- "I'll be right back."

- "I'll finish reading all these,"- I said and pointed at the box filled with more files. Morgan nodded and walked away.

- "Do you need any help?"- Seaver walked over that second and smiled at me. I stood up and shook my head.

- "Thanks, but I'm basically done. I'll just go make myself another cup of coffee."

- "I'll go with you!"- she smiled and waited for me by the door. Rossi looked at me and raised an eyebrow. I just cut him a straight smile and walked to the kitchenette, followed closely by Ashley.

(Y/N) walked into the bullpen that minute. I watched her as she opened the glass door and took out her jacket. It felt like the time passed in slow motion as she walked. I couldn't help it, I just smiled as soon as our eyes crushed, and for a few seconds, life was perfect. Just to know she was there, smiling at me made everything worth living.

See why I couldn't tell anyone how I was feeling? They would make fun of me. Morgan would never understand the agony and the dimension of my love for her. He would just tease me. I wonder if he had ever actually been in love 'till that point in life.

I didn't want anyone to know what was happening to me ‘cos I was sure they would make fun of me, and that was the last thing I needed at that moment. So I did what I knew best: I locked it all inside and waited for it to burn me alive.

- "Good morning, chipmunk!"- I stood by (Y/N)'s side and smiled as she left her things on her desk and turned to me. She just looked into my eyes, and my brain turned into mush.

- "Good morning, honey bunny. Did you sleep well? You look tired."

- "Yeah, I just got up extra early today to help Seaver, and now I was helping Derek with some files."

- "Do you need a hand?"

- "Sure!"- I didn't even analyze my answer. I just spit the words, thinking it would be amazing to spend some time with my friend, working together.

- "Hi (Y/N), how are you?"- that until her face changed completely when Seaver waved at her- "Spencer, do you want me to make your coffee?"- I froze and turned to her in silence.

- "No, thank you. I'll… just… wait a little before having another one. I just had my third cup."

- "Three cups in already"- (Y/N) narrowed her eyes and turned to her desk, giving me her back- "How long have you been awake?"

- "Not as long as Morgan, I tell you that,"- I pointed at him, walking out of Strauss's office and heading back to our conference room.

- "Let's help him, then."

(Y/N) walked quickly, and I followed closely. I wished I hadn't said no to that coffee. I really needed one to go through that morning.

During that morning, Derek questioned Sanderson again and finally took him and Rossi back to his house, trying to trigger any memory that might help us crack the case. Meanwhile, the rest of the team and I stayed back in the office, repeatedly going through the case files. So far, all we knew is that a team had attacked Sanderon's home and framed him for the murder of his wife and daughter.

The whole day, I focused on work ‘cos it's my favorite escape, and clearly, there was something more important to think of than whatever was going on with my life. But my head was killing me. The migraines were starting to get more intense, and I think they got worse the more thinking I gave to my relationship with (Y/N).

- "It sounds like we need to profile a dormant killer"- Ashle's voice surprised me when I was pouring myself a cup of fresh coffee in the kitchenette.

- "A very lucky one. He was essentially given a gift, a patsy in the form of Don Sanderson, and he'll do anything to protect that story."- I answered, thinking I didn't want to be in Sanderon's shoes, trying to clear my name of something I hadn't done.

- "When someone has a secret this big, everything becomes a lie."

Somehow, Seaver's words hit me. I'm sure she didn't mean to strike a nerve, but she did. I had been in love with my best friend for too long, and now it was starting to affect my life. I didn't want it to get in the way of work, and we were at work most of our time together. But there was nothing I could do about it. I just had to keep on faking everything was normal.

- "He'll most likely be pathological,"- I nearly choked at my own words as I tried to shake away the thoughts from my head.

- "So, we're looking for a liar in D. C. I thought we were trying to narrow this down."- Ashley tried to joke and waited for my reaction but didn't get anything. Instead, I just cut her a straight smile and walked away.

By the end of the night, Morgan had gotten the unsub. But I was still a mess. It had been the longest day in weeks, not just ‘cos I had barely slept the night before, but because I was overthinking everything that happened around me. It was exhausting.

- "Are you coming, Batsy?"- (Y/N) asked me and grabbed her bag after putting on her coat. I stood from my desk and nodded.

- "Yes, ma chère."

- "Where are you guys going tonight?"- Derek asked and smiled at us- "No. Don't tell me, planning this year's matching Comic-Con costumes"- I chuckled and probably blushed, busted.

- "We already settled those, Derek. We are way ahead of schedule this year,"- (Y/N) answered and stuck out her tongue to him.

- "(Y/N), can you give me a second before you go?"- Prentiss stood up and smiled at my friend, who just nodded and walked with her to the conference room. Derek and Seaver looked at me.

- "What?"

- "Do you know what's that about?"- Morgan questioned me.

- "I have no idea."

(Y/N)'s point of view

- "Please don't freak out,"- Emily smiled and turned to me after she closed the door behind her back- I just needed to clear the air a little bit between us.

- "What? Why? Is there something wrong?"

- "I don't know, I just feel you have been acting weird lately, and I needed to know if it has something to do with me supervising Seaver."

I nearly gasped. Not ‘cos I felt insulted but ‘cos I felt caught. I knew I hadn't been subtle about my feelings for Seaver. I just didn't want them to get in the middle of work.

- "I haven't been weird with you, Emily, and I don't think I've been acting strange."

- "Come on, you don't like Ashley, and I offered to supervise her while she works with us."

- "Yes, but neither of those has anything to do with me and you. We are friends, Emily."

- "I know, and I wanna honor that friendship, (Y/N). I love working with you. I just want you to know I'm not… I just… I'm trying to help Seaver start her career."

- "I understand that. We are ok,"- I tried to reassure her, but I knew she could read between my bullshit.

- "Do you think you could try to be a little bit nicer with her?"

- "Nicer?"

- "Yes, (Y/N). She is making an effort to get along with the team, and you've been giving her the cold shoulder since day one." -I crossed my arms on my chest, obviously annoyed and defensive.

- "I have been friendly with her, Emily. I just don't like her, and you can't force me to be her friend."

In my defense, in my mind, that argument didn't sound as childish as it did when I said it out loud.

- "Don't be selfish! Just because you are jealous, you can't deprive her of the opportunity of a lifetime with this team."

Emily's words were knives against my ego and nearly destroyed my facade. I stared into her eyes and wondered how to get out of that situation without hurting my friend. I could pretend I didn't know what she was talking about, but we both knew that was bullshit. I could actually try to tell her how I felt, but it was so humiliating I refused to open up. So instead, I just nodded and smiled at her.

- "I'm sorry that's how you see me. I'll try to be a better version of myself tomorrow,"- and needless to say, I turned around and left.

- "(Y/N), please wait,"- but I didn't stop walking. I refused to continue talking about Seaver with anyone. I refused to deal with feelings or the real world.

- "Everything ok?"- Spencer asked me the second he saw me appear by his side.

- "Yes,"

- "You are blushing. Did you and Prentiss argue?"

- "No, honey. We didn't argue. She just wanted to check on me ‘cos she was worried I was mad at her. But that's all."- Spencer just nodded and looked at me in silence.- "Why don't we just go home and forget about today, honey?"

Easier said than done.

So Seaver was getting under my skin. And it was getting harder to control. That week was hell, and I didn't want to show it. Eventually, I talked with Emily again, and I tried to explain to her I wasn't being mean with Seaver. I just didn't like her. And though I gave Emily my word to be friendlier with Ashley, the circumstances weren't really helping.

Things didn't get any better than Friday night. No, if anything, that was the night that made it all worse. Prentiss, JJ, and I got together at Garcia's house and had a few drinks before leaving for Anderson's birthday. I was making my biggest effort to have fun and ease my mind. Spencer said he wasn't sure he'd make it ‘cos he was tired, and automatically I almost turned out the whole deal, but Penelope literally dragged me to her house and put a beer in my hand.

- "You, my young lady, are going to put some makeup on, a hot dress, and we are going to party!"

- "But PG, I'm not…"- but she didn't let me out of it. Instead, she shushed me and raised an eyebrow, looking pretty convincing.

- "No "but." You are going. End of the conversation."

So she dragged me to the bar, along with Prentiss and JJ, who had left Will with little Henry to join us for what was promised to be one epic girl's night.

Anderson was so happy to see us. He was a sweetheart who was always willing to help us. I knew technically he didn't work at the BAU, but he was always there whenever we needed him. We all felt he was part of the team.

- "Sonny!!"- I yelled and hugged him tight

- "I'm so glad you girls made it!!"- and his smile was priceless- "JJ!!"- he actually yelled when he saw her and ran to give her a triple bear hug.

- "Grant Anderson!! I can't believe it's really you!!"

- "I've missed you so much!! How's Henry?"

- "So big!! I feel I haven't been out with friends in so long!"- JJ looked around, and her face kept lighting up as she recognized more friends and acquaintances from Quantico. I looked around and recognized Morgan already flirting with a woman at the other side of the bar.

- "Looks like chocolate thunder knows how to keep himself busy,"- I joked, and Garcia turned immediately.

- "Have you ever seen him shirtless?"- she asked in a lower voice and leaned a little closer to me, just to make sure no one would listen- "I'm sure it's illegal looking so good in real life."

I laughed and turned to see Prentiss walk to the bar to get us the first round of drinks. Ok, I'll admit it, I was having a great time. I know I didn't want to go at first, but spending time with my work friends and not just with Spencer was refreshing. Not that I didn't do fun things with the rest of the team, but my relationship with Spencer, I mean the friendship that pretty much looked like a relationship, consumed most of my time. But I just loved being with Reid more than anything.

But one night without him wasn't going to be the end of the world. Right?

Right.

Anderson and I danced and laughed. It was all very innocent. And though I've never considered myself a hot chick or whatever, a few guys asked if they could get me drinks, and I kindly declined. I wasn't looking for a one-night stand or anything. I just wanted to have fun with my friends.

- "And where's Reid?"- Anderson asked as we reached our table, where Prentiss and JJ were catching up and laughing.

- "Home, he said he was tired."

- "And? When are you two going to come clean about your relationship? You know, having the confirmation of your romance would be the best birthday present you could ever give me."

- "Grant Anderson, you nosy bastard!!"- I hit his arm and heard his laughter- "You know we are not dating!"

- "Come on!! I mean it! You have to get together! You are like the FBI sweethearts!!"

- "Shut your face!"- Anderson laughed even harder and took a look around the bar

- "So, if you are not dating Spencer, I have a friend who asked about you."

- "Who? What friend? Is he here?"- Garcia shouted question after question as she had overheard the whole conversation and even moved closer.

- "His name is James. He saw you on the news a few months ago, at a press conference with Rossi, and has been asking about you ever since."

I frowned and looked at Garcia, who was wide-eyed staring at Anderson. I had no idea what was going on. It was bizarre.

- "No, thank you?"- I whispered, not even sure of what I should answer at that- "I'm very flattered, Grant, but… I'm really not looking for someone right now."

- "You are not?"- Garcia asked me, and I just shook my head.

- "No, I have too much going on in my life, with work and… well… what we do…"

- "Really?"- Anderson sounded a little disappointed- "Well, in case you change your mind, James is…"

- "(Y/N)? Can I talk to you for a second?"- Garcia grabbed my arm and crawled me to a side of the bar.

- "What? What is it?"

- "Munchkin, you know I love you."

- "Yes, I love you too, PG."

- "That's why I feel like I need to be honest with you, ‘cos you've always been so sweet, and we've known each other for years now, and I feel like if I don't tell you this, you are never going to forgive me."- Penelope was nearly hyperventilating as she spoke.

- "Ok, what is it? You are scaring me."

- "You have to tell Reid how you feel."

- "What?"

- "He has to know! You have to tell him!"

- "I don't wanna talk about what, Penelope"- I tried to walk away from her, but she stopped me, grabbed my arm, and pulled me back.

- "No, (Y/N). He loves you, I'm not a profiler, I don't even play one on tv, but I am sure what I see in his eyes when he looks at you is love… ‘cos it's the same you have when you look at him!"

- "Son of a bitch!!"- the words escaped my lips as my heart nearly left my chest.

- "No, (Y/N)!"- but Garcia lost my attention that second, ‘cos all I could see was Spencer Walter Reid walking into the bar and Ashley Seaver hanging from his arm.

- "What do you want me to tell him, Garcia? To have fun with his new girlfriend?"- I pointed at the door, and her jaw nearly hit the floor.

- "Ok, no. There has to be a reasonable explanation for that!"

- "Yes, but Spencer being in love with me is not the explanation. I'm gonna get a drink."

Spencer's point of view

I was surprised to get Ashley's phone call that night. When my phone rang, I was ready to go to bed. My head was killing me. I had already scheduled an appointment with the doctor for some exams. I was starting to have a bad feeling about what those headaches really were, and I was too scared to tell anyone what was going on. Not even (Y/N).

Actually, of all people, she was the one I wanted to keep in the dark. Why? ‘Cos ever since we met she had taken care of me, I didn't think it was fair. She had taken me into her life and given me a place in it. And sometimes, I felt I was a burden. She helped me overcome all of my traumas and even my drug addiction. She introduced me to her best friends and made me part of her life. (Y/N) had taken trips with me to Las Vegas just to see my mom, ‘cos she knew it was hard for me to do it on my own. If it hadn't been for her, I would have probably spent over a year without visiting her. Now, we took a weekend to see mom every few months.

Why would I trouble her with some headaches? It wasn't fair.

When Ashley called, for a moment, I thought it might be (Y/N), asking me to pick her up. But no. It wasn't her that time.

- "Hey Spence, I'm sorry to bother you, but… are you at Anderson's party?"

- "No, actually, I'm in my house."

- "Why? I thought you were invited too."

- "Yeah, I know, and I was, but I'm kind of tired, and I wanted to come home and get some rest. Why? Are you at the party?"

- "No, but I was getting ready to go. But now I feel kind of awkward asking you."

- "What? What is it?"

- "I just… wanted to know if you could come with me. I'm so sorry, Spence, I didn't know you were tired. I just… I wanted to go to the party, but I feel kind of silly going alone. I wanted to ask Prentiss, but she left with (Y/N) and Garcia, and I felt so awkward asking…"

I wanted to groan, roll in my bed and hide under my pillow. But Ashley was the new girl, and she deserved to have some fun.

- "Don't worry, I'll take you there,"- I know I whispered my answer ‘cos I didn't really want to do it, but somehow I felt it was my duty.

- "Really?!"- and by the excitement in Ashley's voice, it was clear that was what she wanted to hear.

- "I'll pick you up in half an hour, ok?"

- "Thank you so much, Spence!!"

But when I walked into the bar, I knew I had made a mistake. I felt it in my guts. The same intuition I never followed in my personal life, only on the field.

I quickly looked around as Ashley held on to my arm tightly and walked into the bar with a big smile. I soon found Prentiss and JJ talking at a table filled with empty glasses, and my heart jumped inside my chest at the warm, familiar feeling that my friends gave me. I missed JJ very much. And not just as a team member but as a friend who had been taken away from us. (Y/N) always said I didn't know how to deal with change, neither did she, and the shifts in the team always affected me.

Soon I saw Morgan too, talking with Anderson and some other agents. Garcia had to be close then, but I couldn't see her or (Y/N) anywhere around.

- "Come on! Let's get a drink!"- Ashley said and crawled me to the bar.

- "I don't drink and drive"- I said, and she pouted.

- "Come on! You are no fun! Just one!"

- "No, just water. Thanks,"- I turned and scanned the place. Everybody was there, and they seemed to be having fun. Penelope waved and walked to me suddenly. She cut me a short smile and grabbed my arm.

- "Hey, what the hell are you doing here?"

- "I didn't want to come, but Ashley insisted and…"

- "Hi!"- Ashley appeared by our side and handed me a bottle of water- "I'm so excited to be here! We really needed to decompress after everything that happened this week, right Garcia?"

Penelope stared at us, trying to formulate an answer. I could see her making her bet to say something, but she just didn't. Instead, she just turned around and walked away.

- "Is she ok?"- I didn't know how to answer that, ‘cos Penelope's reaction surprised me. Ashley just looked around and grabbed my arm again.

- "Come on, Spencer! Let's dance!"

- "No, I don't… dance, sorry."

Lucky for me, Prentiss showed up and invited us to sit with her at her table. I don't know if she noticed I was uncomfortable, but I was glad to see her. Being in that bar made me feel pretty awkward and exposed.

I had never been much of a party person. I wasn't used to bars and gatherings until I joined the BAU. When I first met Derek, he tried to take me out a few times and be my wingman. It's obvious he failed at that mission. Meeting people at a bar is the most complicated equation I could ever try to solve. It doesn't work for me, no matter how hard Derek pushed me to do it. He said I had to rely on what made me feel comfortable. But no. It wasn't that I couldn't meet people. It was that I didn't want to meet anyone once I met the woman of my dreams. Even when I knew she could never be mine.

When (Y/N) came along, she started hosting these fun "dinner parties" with Frank, Lu, and Mikey, which changed everything. It was the first time I was hanging out with people my age doing things I actually liked doing. It wasn't about drinking or picking girls in a bar. It was about playing Jenga, or charades, eating pizza, and talking about movies and sometimes even books.

(Y/N) said her friends considered me part of the gang, which was all I ever wanted to hear. That I belonged. It's kind of sad when you think about it, but I don't care. I had never felt like I belonged anywhere, and they made me feel like I was one of them. They took me to their rock shows, and I jumped along with the crowd, knowing I wasn't an outcast there. I was with my friends.

You don't know how good that made me feel. And for years, they were my social comfort and cocoon. Then, when Rossi joined the BAU again, he started hosting fancy dinner parties at his house, and I got to hang out with the whole team without being at a bar, pushed to meet people. And it was so good. (Y/N) always said Rossi's arrival had a cohesive effect on us. Not because he brought us together, but the circumstances of his arrival and everything that happened that first year.

This team is no stranger to trauma, and that's a fact. I think Rossi's dinner parties gave us a space to be ourselves, relax, have a few drinks and enjoy our time together. I think that's when we stepped from being friends to be family.

And I hadn't had one before.

I hugged JJ tight as soon as I saw her smiling at me. I hadn't seen her ever since her goodbye party, over two months before, but we had talked on the phone a few times.

- "I've missed you so much, Spence!!"- she said and held my face with both hands- "You and (Y/N) owe me two babysit nights,"- and I laughed, thinking we promised we'd take care of Henry so she and Will could have a date, but we were called for a case.

- "Wait! It was one night!"- I argued, chuckling- "Why is it two nights now?"

- "‘Cos I lost a very exclusive reservation due to the two of you."

- "Technically, it wasn't our fault, we were called in for a case..."

I smiled and sat next to JJ, and Prentiss sat next to me. Ashley stood by the table and smiled at JJ. Right, they didn't even know each other.

- "It's very nice to meet you, Agent Jareau. The team talks very highly of you,"- she shook JJ's hand and smiled.

- "Ashley, right? Prentiss was just telling me you will be taking your remedial training at the BAU. Congratulations, it's a fantastic team to work with."

- "Thank you,"- I took a look around, still trying to find my best friend around. But it seemed useless, and I was starting to feel worried.

- "Where's (Y/N)?"- I had to ask.

- "She was with Anderson a minute ago,"- Penelope said and looked around- "I am going to look for her and bring her here in a second. I'll be right back."

And so, she was gone.

Prentiss and I pretty much interrogated JJ about her new job and the new team she worked with at the pentagon. I sipped my water and half-listened her answer, ‘cos most of my head was trying to register what was going on around me. No, actually, I was trying to find (Y/N). Penelope had been gone for half an hour looking for her, and I was starting to think something weird was going on. Besides, my head was killing me, and all I wanted was to go home. But I hadn't seen JJ in weeks, and I couldn't waste a chance like that.

Ashley talked with Prentiss too, and every once in a while, she tried to engage in conversation with me. But to be honest, I couldn't really concentrate on anything. I just wanted to know (Y/N) was alright.

- "Excuse me,"- I stood up slowly and looked at my friends- "I'm going to the bathroom, be right back."

- "Can you get us another round on our way back?"- Prentiss asked and smiled guiltily.

- "Sure."

- "Do you need help?"- Ashley tried to stand up, but Emily stopped her.

- "He got it, don't worry."

So I was left on my own. I walked around the bar. In my mind, I kept telling myself I was "looking for the bathroom," but I knew very well I was indeed trying to find (Y/N). I had been in that bar for an hour, and I still hadn't seen her. I was worried.

I walked around the bar and found Anderson. He seemed to be a little shocked to see me there but smiled and hugged me. It was weird hugging people, still. But Anderson was part of the team. It always felt like it. We had known each other for years, and somehow it was like he was in the background of our daily basics.

- "Have you seen (Y/N)?"- I asked him, and he widened his eyes- "What?"

- "Yeah, she's right there, actually… "- Grant Anderson pointed and turned around- "Later, Reid."

- "Bye"- I didn't even look at him. I just turned and looked around to see (Y/N).

But my best friend didn't notice me. She was too busy kissing some guy.

I stood in front of her, not knowing what to do. Her eyes were closed, and her arms were around his neck, so clearly, she wasn't in distress, and no matter how badly I wanted to take her from him, I just couldn't.

For a minute, I couldn't believe my eyes. I just stood there and stared at (Y/N), trying to understand what was going on. I always knew she wasn't meant to be mine, but I had never gotten such a brutal reminder. Not even when she was dating Paul. Watching her kissing someone else was shocking. The way that man put his hands on her waist and held her close to him, just like I always dreamt of doing, was painful.

Painful. That was the only word I can explain how it felt.

I stood there for a minute or so. I really don't know how long it was, but it felt long enough to burn in my memory everything I needed to torture myself with for the rest of my life. I stepped back after a minute. It might have been longer; I really can't recall. And all I managed to do was to walk out of the bar and reach my car.

I opened the door and slammed it as I sat behind the wheel. I wanted to cry and yell. But I didn't do either of those. Instead, I stayed still, staring at the nothing in front of me, trying to erase that fresh memory from my head. But it was impossible. (Y/N) was making out with some guy inside that bar, and there was nothing I could do to stop her. So I did the only thing I could do at that minute. I started the car and got the fuck out of there.

–

DIWK Taglist:

@all-tings-diego @big-galaxy-chaos @muffin-cup @shilohpug @eternalharry @tvandfanfic @fandomtrash2405

Spencer taglist

@calm-and-doctor

General Taglist

@spenxerslut @ash19871962 @babebenhardy @meowiemari @archer561

–

Do you want to be on the taglist or ramble about this chapter with me? Just send me a message here.

Next update: June 23th, 2021