#I knew 2024 was going to be a good year because I prefer even numbers over odd and specifically the number 4

[reenybopper]

Can’t really explain it, but I feel good things coming my way :)

[p6to]

What the fuck is going on?

I was in the process of typing out several essays worth of thoughts in the tags of @tsarinablogs's lestappen 2024 manifesto, because what else is new. Since I am uncannily similar to Max in all aspects of his public persona (except his driving abilities and his apparent need to come out as bisexual in every third interview), including the 'tism allegations and the certified "parent has a very weird sense of seeing their child as their own person" experience, in this essay I will be yapping about Screwderia Ferrari, shady business and of course: Charles Leclerc.

Charles has given his life and a large part of his career in f1 to Ferrari, leading to six wins, including his own home race Monaco and Ferrari's home race Monza, but also ten gazillion strategy fuck ups and now a (likely) second failed championship battle.

How much is too much for a person to handle?

Ferrari has not won a championship since Kimi Räikkönen in 2007. That much was known when Charles went through the ranks in the Ferrari Driver Academy, so he knew they were not suddenly going to dominate the way Red Bull did the last few years and Mercedes before them. He still had faith in them, made promises about his achievements to his dying father when he must have known that they might be impossible to ever reach.

His devotion and his talent have made him into an (almost) religious figure to the tifosi. Charles Leclerc is Ferrari, and Ferrari is Charles Leclerc.

Or is it?

Time and time again, we have witnessed Charles getting fucked over in favour of his teammate (see "it looks like they're going to sacrifice Leclerc" - George, or the entirety of the SF-23, maybe even today). While a team principal and a good number of other employees were fired in 2022 because things were going horrible and Charles insisted on it, and things were looking better when competent personnel and even Lewis Hamilton were signed by Fred Vasseur, it seems like the actual problem is still there.

Based on what we saw with the Barcelona upgrades and Carlos' interviews, we may have to expect the car to be developed to suit Carlos' understeer-y preference once again, which is wild considering that he is a driver who is leaving at the end of the year, has been outperformed by Charles pretty consistently over the time they were teammates, and has shown very clearly (alone this season!) that he is (in the words of a friend) not driving for Ferrari but for Carlos.

How can it be that Charles has mechanical and technical problems every second race weekend, while his teammate does not, and not only does nobody from the team leadership say anything about it but they also let Carlos downplay Charles' very severe brake issues in Bahrain?

Silverstone has marked the third race this season where Charles did not score points due to either inherent issues of the car (tire warm up in qualifying), mechanical issues (engine), damage (front wing in Austria) AND very questionable strategy calls. Three races of the twelve that have passed is 25%, a figure that is much too high for any top team, let alone Ferrari who were very close to catching up to Red Bull in the WCC just four races ago.

Of course, problems in car development and maybe even a higher lack of reliability in mechanical parts can happen to any team. However, we will now come to the area where I see the biggest problem.

This entire triple header, Fred Vasseur has been giving unacceptable statements about BOTH of his drivers. In Barcelona, he downplayed the issue between Charles and Carlos at the start, positioning himself directly against the driver he should be supporting since he was objectively (data-supported) correct. In Austria, Sky Sports had to make him watch the moment Charles sustained the damage to his front wing, because he could not be bothered to watch it during the actual race.

And now in Silverstone, he blamed both Carlos and Charles for not performing miracles with this shitshow of a tractor during qualifying, let his drivers be fed different information regarding the incoming rain leading to one of them making the wrong tire choice, ruining his race, and then had the audacity to lie about that and Charles position during this incident, making it look like he was still behind Lance when he had actually already overtaken him and was now behind Carlos after starting four places behind him, EVEN THOUGH there were radio transcripts and of course the fucking broadcast that showed the truth.

Us Chirlies have to preface our posts about conspiracy theories with statements about tinfoil hats and "for legal reasons this is a joke", but I will not do this here.

I fully believe that there is shady business going on at Ferrari, including but not limited to potential blackmailing, software sabotage and bribery. I will not pin these onto specific people/groups, because there are too many options. I also think that there is shady business going on at every team, but not to this extent.

The way things are going, with Charles already being on an actually not so subtle PR warpath, I expect some form of news in the next three weeks, including either announcements about people being fired or a Charles-to-Red Bull announcement, although Charles to Mercedes would not surprise me either.

Merc fans joined in on criticising Fred yesterday, and hardcore Max fans are saying Charles should leave Ferrari and join Max at Red Bull. This issue has breached containment, as it should.

Either things are changing at Ferrari or Charles will be exchanging Ferrari for a different team. There is no other solution.

(You have made it to the bottom of this yap-fest. Congratulations! I wish you a very nice day/week/month/year/life without Ferrari-like fuck ups and thank you for reading my stuff :) )

[usedpidemo]

a tale of two (concert) halves... (storytime!)

I've made it clear over the past few updates that my real life struggles have really backed us into a corner. If the first half of 2024 was on hard difficulty, the second half has so far been on brutal. Personal relationships are falling apart, our physical health has been going through hell, and our finances are struggling to keep up with ever increasing debts. As much as I am a man of faith, I do struggle with maintaining such devout trust on the daily, because I am afraid of the worst.

But even during these tough times, it's comforting to know I won't be left for dead, and I can still find enjoyment in them.

Not gonna lie, I thought I would never attend a concert this year. IVE was coming back after a little over a year, but I didn't have money for it (and is something I still struggle to move on from). ITZY was coming back less than eight months when I saw them, but no Lia, and the ticket selling was insanely early (fuck you Live Nation). The only other girl group I think came here was fromis_9, which I still would love to see, but that was for a festival, so the setlist was extremely limited—and it was during finals week, so that was not gonna happen. There's just been an overall downturn of concerts compared to last year, so whether or not this is a good thing, you decide. (Seriously, no aespa, no (G)I-DLE, no NMIXX, etc.)

However—here comes Red Velvet, one of the holy trinity of 3rd gen girl groups (TwicePinkVelvet), celebrating their 10th anniversary with an Asia tour. By some miracle, I got a stimulus check two months ahead of my birthday, and yet it was still a hard decision, because I wasn't sure if other girl groups would also tour near the end of the year. Looking at what's to come for the last quarter of the year, I highly doubt it and 2025 is sure to be stacked, so it all paid off in retrospect.

It was a completely different experience than the first two outings. For one, it was fucking standing floor over seated, so I knew my body would be put through the torture rack. Second was the unpredictability of where I would end up—thankfully it wasn't first come first serve where I would be forced to camp early (which by the way, concert campers are disgusting and should be arrested). Still, my positioning would depend on my queuing number (which in itself was dependent on when you would buy your ticket, and obviously unless you got into the site as soon as it loaded up, the earlier), and while it wasn't completely shit—it still meant that a majority would get their preferred spot over mines.

Cut to the actual concert day and it was a tale of two halves. The first was the pre-concert, which wasn't all bad at the start—but then there was the queuing before entering the venue. I could have easily waited and taken my sweet time exploring and doing other shit, but I was pressured to queue early out of fear of not getting a good spot. I forgot that since it was queuing numbers, they would rearrange the line anyway, so I never really had a chance lmao. I really shot myself in the foot quite literally by adding an extra two hours standing around.

Everyone in VIP was given a bonus member card, and I didn't end up getting my bias. I tried bartering with other fans, but I absolutely failed. To add insult to injury, everyone else were able to trade and/or get theirs, so that fucking sucks.

It was also the first time I was forced to wear some kind of noise control for my ears. Didn't really have earplugs but Airpods were certainly a nice alternative. Fucking hell—this was the loudest of the three crowds I've ever been a part of, and it doesn't help that the audience would screech and shout out of tune. It was so goddamn annoying. Then you get to the ments/speeches, and they would just fucking bark and make monkey noises while the members were talking, and after performances. I counted a total of 12-14 times this happened throughout, and it never got any better. If the members weren't encouraging the audience, I'd probably have socked someone in the nose out of annoyance at some point.

As for the overall concert itself, I had a blast! I'm not that familiar with Red Velvet's colorful discography, but they performed most of their hits and title tracks (ripperoni Russian Roulette and Chill Kill). Not only that, but the set ran for almost 3 hours (2 hours 50 minutes as they did start like 10 minutes past schedule), and the energy persisted all throughout. Wendy was constantly flaunting her vocals, but Joy. Joy was absolutely fucking insane. Also, the fucking Zimzalabim encore is something everyone needs to experience once in their lifetime.

I wish I could say the pain was all worth it—but of course, life being life, it decides to fuck with me one more fucking time with the middle finger. After the show ended, we were all told to stay in our spots for the send-off event as everyone else were escorted out and the raffle winners from lower seating tiers were pulled in. We waited for 40 minutes, and then the members come out. It should be a cool moment! Except they were led by staff straight to the extended stage for a bit and then they'd get off, completely neglecting the sides, where me and a few others were. They would eventually go around the venue, but by the time we realized what has happening, it was too late—we never got to see them up close properly.

I'll be honest, while I don't feel as bothered thinking about it a few days on, when it happened, it almost ruined the entire experience for me. The organizers/staff had misdirected us and didn't organize properly, so some of us got a lesser experience than those who won the raffle, which is worse for us since we paid more. The send-off treatment here was way—way worse than in Bangkok and Jakarta, and it fucking pisses me off. We can't have shit in this country. I don't blame the girls for it; they were just following instructions and they had a flight to catch shortly after (not to mention they were tired as fuck). Still, the fact I paid so much for that underwhelming send-off experience just reinforces my opinion that hi-touches are simply better. At least everyone gets a fair shot, even if it was very brief. You can't win them all, I guess. I also do believe that it was bound to happen, the first two experiences were near-perfect and flawless in execution, so something had to give to bring me back down to earth.

Nevertheless, even if for just a few hours, it's nice to find some comfort and enjoyment despite the world around me crumbling down. To think that they're 10 years on and still as active as their younger contemporaries in K-pop is astounding. I can see why they're among the most beloved girl groups ever; there's only a handful with equal the talent and discography to match. This was also my first outing with a new camera, and when it was hitting, the shots were fucking hitting.

I really wish Bamboleo was part of the set tho.

[pedripics]

PRESS CONFERENCE ahead of FC BARCELONA v PSG - April 15, 2024

About his feelings and the team:

"Well, I think the team is very motivated and has a great desire to play an important match like the one we have tomorrow. On a personal level, I feel good. I went through a difficult period full of injuries, but the truth is that I was excited to come back. I was able to be back in Paris, play some minutes against Cadiz, and I'm very excited for the game tomorrow."

"On the field I don't think about the injuries I've had. The pass I gave to Raphinha in the goal in Paris is similar to the pass I gave when I was injured the last time. I'm happy with myself return. I give my 100% to the team. We're looking forward to tomorrow's match."

About potentially playing 90 mins tomorrow:

"I feel good, I have a lot of desire, everyone wants to play this kind of match. It is true that when you return from injury you notice fatigue, but I feel strong and want to play. I prefer to play 80 minutes at 100% and ask for a change if I cannot handle more. So that's what I'm going to do, I'm going to play until I can and I'll ask for a change when I can't."

Is this the biggest game of his career?

"Yes, I think it's the most important match of my career so far. This and the semi-finals of the European Cup. The fans deserve matches like this, we've wanted a night like this in Barcelona for a long time. They have helped us get here after many years, they have always supported us and we want to enjoy it all together"

About the teams improvement:

"Even though I wasn't with the team for a long time, like Frenkie or Christensen, the team maintained itself. We have a very full team, and we rotate. we are Family. We had a lot of injuries and we knew how to move on and come out of them."

"Xavi's announcement must have had some impact, now we have a long and series. We have improved our ability to keep clean sheets and be more aggressive in defense. We are much better mentally, before, we had a lot of doubts when we scored a goal, we still have to improve. We are still young, and we will improve with time. We were able to come back to Paris, it's the most difficult, especially in a stadium which puts a lot of pressure on you."

About Gündogan's impact:

"Gundogan is a spectacular player, since I met him, I already knew what role he would have in the team, it is a pleasure to play with him, I learn a lot from him in training and he has some spectacular numbers, very happy to have him by my side."

About getting psychological help during his injuries:

"I didn't because I don't feel like I need it and with the trainers we have done a spectacular job, although I don't rule it out in the future."

About facing PSG:

"Everyone likes to talk about the favorite, which is currently, I don't like it. They are two quite similar teams, who like to have the ball. I think it will be a good match, we will do our best to qualify."

"We have to be careful because it is clear that Paris is not coming to Barcelona to give us gifts. I think Paris will come with all their strength, especially with our knowledge of their coach, they will try to turn things around. It is true that we have this slight advantage that the result gives us, but we must go out as if this advantage did not exist, go out to devour Paris and this is how we must appear."

"The priority tomorrow is to get the ball. When you have the ball, you prevent the opposing team from giving you chances. Also avoid one-on-one confrontations and one-on-one duels, where players like Kylian Mbappe, Ousmane Dembélé or Barcola are very good."

About watching the 6-1 win vs PSG:

"I've been a Culer since I was young. A comeback like that stays in your memory. I couldn't believe it. We talk about it with Sergi, and we hope to give another equally memorable memory to the Culers."

About playing in two different positions:

"I’ve played in a deeper position in the last two games and I got to touch the ball more than usual. I’m comfortable in playing anywhere in the midfield."

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

I remember when real lyrics from Faith In The Future were sent to Larrie blogs (including same one who got the Oasis reunion anon). The lyrics were sent in May 2023, I believe?— many months before the announcement for FITF or the first single.

I think someone on Louis’ team, or someone who has access to 1D era social media, keeps track of a few 1D fans’ social media. It could be Simon Jones or a person who works for him. It could also be someone at Sony. I don’t believe the lyric leaks came from the other songwriters on FITF— they have no incentive for messing with the fandom. There’s also a possibility that the leaks came from the engineers or producers of FITF, but how would they even know which 1D accounts are influential? As for Chris Frewin and the like, I don’t think LTHQ is capable of generating any excitement in the fandom that isn’t frustration or rage.

In retrospect, the fact that they would leak to Larries and not solo Louies is pretty funny.

LTHQ might have suspected that only Larries would mass-publish leaks for clout; getting “secret messages” is Larries’ raison d’etre. Solo Louies would’ve gate-kept the leaks. Numbers-wise, since LTHQ and Louis have done nothing to build his solo fandom, there’s still more attention given to Larrie social media and more buzz generated. We also all know that Louis and Matt Vines follow the Sony/1DHQ promo playbook like a bible. [I.e. unfortunately, expect 1D covers next tour and forevermore.]

Since Oasis did their reunion photoshoot on July 24 (when Louis was in Spain doing festivals), and Openstage managed part of the Oasis tickets queue, very likely Louis and his team knew about an Oasis reunion tour at the beginning of summer 2024. It means that by August, when the anon was sent to Larries, the tour was legit, even when it hadn’t yet been announced.

I also remember a Big Larrie saying that Louis couldn’t possibly open for Oasis, because the Oasis reunion is massive and requires massive artists to open, and after all, isn’t Louis a nobody? (Larries legit think that a blog that think so low of Louis is their “safe places.”)

I do feel that there are people who are fans of Harry and Louis who can separate them as artists, and who might even prefer Louis. Since I don’t follow Larries, I don’t have a good frame of reference for how many genuinely like Louis for himself, or would continue being his fan if they no longer stayed Larries— how many of them genuinely care about Louis’ songs and story separate from their Larry mythology and canon.

I think 2024 is a very different place for Louis’ fans. He has had two albums, two world tours, two livestreams, a documentary, a world record, a UK no. 1 album, and Billboard top 5, a big presence in the UK indie scene, and a festival which Louis founded, now in its fourth year. Louis played some of the biggest festivals in Europe and will be the first 1D member to play in India. He wasn’t the headliner for most of the festivals, but he played as himself— earned and deserved. Louis played a solo concert to one of the largest audiences any of the 1D boys have played, in Mexico City — the first solo male artist to play that venue. The majority of his social media is no longer about One Direction.

We’ve come a long, long, long way from the Big Larrie posts imperiously stating that Louis wants to be the househusband and behind-the-scenes guy to Mr. MCU Superhero Rock Legend Harry Styles, proudly standing in the shadows at Harry’s concerts like a lovelorn teenager.

We’ve come a long, long way from Big Larries posting that Harry Styles never wanted to go solo, and the fans saying so are such fucking cunts! but who should nevertheless Buy! His! Solo! Album! Or leave the fandom!

The Azoff/Styles machine is powerful, and I’m sure when the next album comes, Larries will be all in for him, along with Harry’s solo fans. At this point, I don’t think that Larries, as a group, can quite imagine Louis as an individual artist. They seem to be dependent on fanfiction to support their fandom experience, and I don’t mean just the porn but the whole mythology of “they met in the X Factor bathroom.” They can’t get their heads around the fact that Sony sanctioned the rainbow bears because it was marketing— the same way Columbia Records set up a website for Eroda. The exact same tactics. Larries were already connecting “Larry” to Liam Gallagher.

The nice thing for Louis is that he doesn’t need Larries anymore. Larrie UAs are not a part of his promo; solo UAs are. Louis blocked the biggest Larrie UA— sales didn’t drop. Larries have threatened to boycott him more than once; venues still sold well. Louis can post from LA, post about Freddie— Larries have their temper tantrums, but it doesn’t affect Louis’ actions or words, it doesn’t stop him from acknowledging Freddie at concerts or including Freddie in album notes and in his documentary.

Louis controls his life story and his lyrics. He is honest in writing what he writes. He has the means and the connections to continue in his career independently of any group of fans. His career isn’t dependent on AO3 or Tumblr, and in fact is independent of social media. Twitter and Instagram are almost dead, and Louis avoids TikTok. But his career is thriving. Media are starting to write positive articles about Louis because Louis himself — not One Direction, not his interactions with other 1D guys, but Louis, alone— attracts positive attention. He determines which direction his career goes. It’s a nice place to be.

[lovenojudgement]

August 17, 2024 09:05

“Be ready”

Hey how have you been lately? It has been a while since the last time I wrote something here. For the past days, my posts were quotes and reposts from other people that made sense with where my life is currently at.

I have not really been in a good state for almost a month now. All I did was to purely work to minimize the anxiety and depression attacks. It has not really been the greatest feeling. It feels like I am going back to the old me with how I cope up when I am at my worst. I cover it up with so much work until the only thing I can feel is exhaustion— intense headaches and twitching muscles. Before I decided to move here in the States to work, one of my considerations was to fix myself. To learn how to love and take care of myself more than I love and take care of others. Other people have always been my priority over myself ever since my family had issues. All I wanted to see, and feel is happiness even if I was compromising my own. I wanted to escape the darkness that my own family has brought to me during that time. Which made me sensitive of how others feel and how I would be able to make them smile even in my smallest ways. 

I have been vulnerable with love and care to be honest. It caused me my greatest heartaches. I have always longed for pure and consistent intentions. But I repetitively failed. Its either I was left hanging, my emotions and love was played with, or I was cheated on. Then I met someone a month before I left Manila for work.

 I could not thank God enough because I finally met someone who was loud and proud to love me. Things started to get rough initially, but we still made it. We always tried to put our love for each other first. We have always placed in mind that breaking up will never be an option. Before I agreed with this relationship, I laid everything down. And the only thing he said was we will try to make it work. That it will be easier to leave the country than to find someone who fits your heart best. I knew that he had no plans of leaving but he always made me feel like his plans can change for us. But none of those exist now. 

I am having a hard time with where we are now. Our future does not seem to intersect in any way. I sleep and wake up with a heavy heart. My tears well up anytime and anywhere when I think of the possibilities of not seeing nor being with him for a long time. He is not easy to love and so am I. But I have always found and felt his love in his own ways which is why I have chosen to stay in this love and hate relationship. 

It is so hard for me as a person who prefers things to be planned and be ready to be madly in love with a man who has a lot of uncertainties and fears in life. I do not have any control with that anymore. I have already tried my best to explain things over and over which is also why I already feel very drained with our relationship. Do not get me wrong, my love for this man is the greatest that I have ever given and the greatest that I will ever give as well. But I cannot be in a long-distance relationship for a lot more years. The sadness of being away from you is pulling me down. It is adding up to the homesickness and everything else. I do not think I can still maintain a healthy long-distance relationship for an unknown number of years. I cannot tell someone to jump a cliff without him really feeling the readiness of taking all the risks after jumping. I fear receiving his resentment and setbacks when things get hard especially during the first jump. Nothing in life is sure and everything in life is a risk. But the only thing that I can promise him is that it will always be my hand holding his during the whole journey. Yet again, nothing of these matters if he is not ready. The downside is that I cannot wait any longer to receive the assurance that I think I deserve. 

I had a dream last night. We bid each other goodbye, and I told him to find himself first. I told him to figure the things that he really wants in life and just get back to me when he does. Hoping that we’re both free by the time he already is ready. That the situation where we are at right now can only be decided by us if it really is God’s will. I trust His plans in His time. 

Now, I do not know if this is the best move for the both of us. I have been very dependent on him, but I cannot dictate on how I want things to go because a relationship does not work that way. It should be with his considerations and his own firm decisions. Without those, the relationship will definitely fall apart. And being ready will always be the key ingredient for you to be able to give your partner assurance. I was not in a rush. I have already lifted my dream of becoming a mom. But time is of the essence with our status. Being away from each other for a long time is not a joke. I cannot deal with waking a person up from the screen because I am scared. I cannot deal with waking a person up from the screen because I am not feeling well. And a person from the screen cannot do anything as well when emergency cases happen. I cannot live with holding the hand of my stuffed toy because I woke up in the middle of the night while a strong storm is going on outside and I am alone not knowing what could happen next.

Life will never just be full of butterflies and rainbows. Life also revolves with uncertainties and risks. We can never know what life can bring us anytime. I can be typing this down today while it can be my last as well.

Life is just borrowed and it can be taken back anytime so just make the most out of it instead.

DGPS

[gayferrari]

re: charlos & charles preferring carlos as a teammate to lewis, i do agree but only over carlos vs lewis - goven how fred was (allegedly) not planning to resign carlos (due to lack of obeying team orders/preferring understeer/possibly something to do with political drama vis-a-vis his family), and fred had generally seemed to be in line with what charles wants for the team, i think charles only prefers carlos over a very small number of drivers who also aren’t big on obeying team orders/prefer understeer/wish to come into the team & challenge his position as number 1 driver.

i think if a driver like magnussen or bottas or maybe even i heard rumours of alex albon came into the team, he’d immediately prefer them over carlos because they would make his life easier & the team & engineer’s lives easier

re: this unpopular opinion ask.

I definitely agree that Carlos isn't Charles's Favourite Pick Of Teammates from the grid but I disagree that Carlos's renewal was ever seriously in doubt until Lewis came along. iirc, Ferrari never actually truly considered replacing Carlos with anyone else — which is the whole reason his deal fell through; Carlos's camp knew there was a lack of alternatives and he wanted to negotiate for the same deal Charles got and it all dragged on while Elkann was wining and dining Lewis.

Regardless of the drawbacks (meddling family + team orders drama) no top team is going to fire the driver who got them the only non RBR win of the season and replace it with someone who's been fighting for his life in the deep midfield for years. I absolutely don't doubt that last year Charles would've taken Alex over Carlos any day, but that was never an option — Ferrari aren't currently in the position to pull a RBR or a 2017 Mercedes and hire someone to be a number two. They wanted two proven capable drivers even if it meant friction vs. having a less competitive driver and missing out on points. They didn't want to commit to Carlos long term for the aforementioned drama reasons and wanted to keep the contract short in case someone better came along (probably planning for Ollie by 2027 if he did well enough as a rookie) but I really doubt letting Carlos go was anything but a worst case scenario if the Lewis deal fell through.

Anyway. Now the Charles / Lewis lineup is here. I hope we get at least one (1) instance of Spa 2024 kind of post race presser where Lewis is all ✌️☺️ congratulations to my teammate for winning 💪 while staring at the camera with murder in his eyes. Fun for the whole team :3

(one thing, though: understeer / oversteer preferences and in general driving style are way less of a factor than many people on f1blr seem to believe. A good driver has to be adaptable regardless of the car, and cars are developed years in advance, regardless of driver lineup. I really doubt a TP would ever look at someone's car preferences as a factor when considering hiring or firing them)

[jungle321jungle]

Hopefully All The Written Stuff (2.0)

A Masterlist of Sanders Sides things I’ve written split into: Complete, Ongoing, One Shots, and On Hold

On Ao3 I also have some PJO and Avengers Fics in various states of being finished.

there’s also non sanders sides things occasionally but idk where they went oops

Last updated: March 2024

One Shot Master List

Given I have a good amount of oneshots and this thing is long enough I have put them separately

Snippets:

Snippets of things I haven’t yet posted

Snippets #2

Ongoing Works:

A Royal Pain

A public competition between brothers for the throne was quite literally the last thing Janus and Logan wanted to do in their lives. After years and years of doing everything in their power to reach this point, there should've been a reward—something other than crushed hopes. But what to do now? Resign to that fact? No, if they were being forced to play this game, then they’d rig it in their favor—or in their illegitimate younger brother's.

All Kittens Are Black In The Dark 

Parenting is hard in general, but Janus and Logan learn it can be even harder, especially when your baby isn't entirely human. But that doesn’t mean they love him any less.

aka Lociet adopts a baby werecat!Virgil

As Honest As The Day Is Long

The sequel to Ask No Questions (I’ll Tell No Lies)

It had been two years since Janus had met his soulmate, who had conveniently been the man who had tried to arrest him. Tried. But it seems Logan had kept himself busy during their time apart, and so unfortunately had Remy. The club owner who was clearly far more dangerous than anyone could have anticipated.

So when his soulmate comes begging for help to save his soulmate, Janus doesn't say no. But, at the very least he’s going to get Logan’s number this time.

Ten Of Swords

The world of Swords of Power and Conquest was one Virgil dove head first into, giving his soul and life to the game. He would play whenever he could, and had even decided he wanted to go into game design. At times he had even dreamt of how wonderful it would be to be inside that world for even a moment- until that world became his reality.

The familiar world he had come to love was now a foreign prison, one with no way out.

Something Worth Stealing

“What do you think?”

Truthfully Virgil was terrified at the very prospect. There was a reason each nanny didn't last long, and Virgil had heard enough horror stories about the Ackroyd boys to avoid them at all costs when he had worked in the past. Hell the only reason he still got some to come in now and then was because the job was so high paying. Mr. Ackroyd knew exactly what he was doing advertising with all those zeroes, he was reeling in any nanny who would skip talking to peers at the sight. And now by some twist of fate that very bait was dangling above Virgil, and even worse there wasn’t anyway he could feasibly afford to ignore it. A sigh escaped his lips as he looked the man in the eye, “I think it is more than a generous offer that I would be happy to accept.”

(Virgil becomes the newest nanny for his very attracti- for Logan.)

Sleeping in the Woods

It was never in Virgil’s plan to be a camp counselor, he had never been a fan of kids.

It was never in his plan to learn to enjoy each of the boy’s company, he had never wanted to learn the truths behind their fake smiles.

It was never in his plan to get wrapped up in things he didn’t understand, he had always preferred to keep to himself.

None of it was ever his plan, but he’d do whatever he’d have to save everyone- even if it means risking himself.

A summer camp gone wrong au

Complete Works:

Virgil’s Guide To Avoid Falling In Love With Your Boss’ Boss

Virgil’s just trying to fake his way through life, but when he finds it hard to shake his hot boss’ boss’s attention- on account of their adopted sons being twins- things get complicated.

Put On A Brave Face

When Virgil was told he needed to attend a party at Lord Ekan’s household he didn’t have high expectations by any means. Parties were just a place for rumors and whispers to circulate and for him to smile and pretend as if nothing bothered him, they were a space he rather avoid. But even so Virgil never regretted that party in particular, not when it changed his life entirely.

Slither Into My Heart (Gorgon AU)

Deceit didn’t bother to knock as he slammed the door open and glared down to wear Remus sat on his bed polishing his morning star.

“What did you do?” Deceit hissed.

Remus gave him a large smile as he looked him up or down, “Do you have the snakes just up there or are they down below too?”

If asked by Patton later, Deceit most definitely did not try to strangle the other side in that moment. Not all.

Also known as: Deceit is turned into a Gorgon. And the new annoying little snakes on his head seem to have an annoying obsession with Virgil.

Ask No Questions (I’ll Tell No Lies) 

An Agent and a Con Man.

With such conflicting backgrounds it almost seemed laughable for the two to be soulmates. Fate had chosen this, but Logan had chosen to arrest the man across from him no matter what.

How To Fuck With Humanity 101 (only on Ao3)

Roman wants an audition to go well, and when he accidentally finds an immortal hovering in his bedroom who promises everything will go his way if he does ridiculous tasks? He does them.

Roman is the first human to interact with Virgil in years, so he agrees to help, but it doesn’t mean he can’t have some fun with it.

As Cold As Stone

Dante Ekans’ newest case is a twenty one year old murder. It’s witnesses have remained silent all this time. So Agent Ekans seeks to change that.

He pokes, he prods, he bluffs, he lies, and he digs too deep.

But maybe the witnesses were silent for a reason.

Forms Of Family

No one alive knows how Dee manages to raise five kids primarily on his own. He's not sure himself, but having some of the best kids in the world makes it a whole lot easier.

On Hold Fics:

Until The Day It Becomes A Pumpkin

When the Student Council President and Vice President are both crushing on the same guy- who is actually crushing on his friend and classmate- and the friend and classmate is crushing on a different friend and club member who is crushing on the Vice President, things get... complicated.

anime high school rom com au

Wringing Troubled Waters From Stone

The last beach trip Logan has been on revealed what Janus Ekans truly was, and how insignificant Logan was beside him.

Logan had naively thought the waves of time had long since washed away any trace of his past... but Janus was back to do what he did best, and unfortunately his superiority wasn’t the only thing he brought with him.

One Selfish Change

“If you could make one small change to anything about your entire life what would it be?”

Janus had ignored the question initially before he had given his answer... To confess his love. But when that small change happened he found himself waking up beside his crush- and that alone should have been enough for him to shout for joy. But instead he stared at the foreign yet familiar face, wondering what exactly he had truly done.

A world world so similar yet so different at the same time. One with far too many changes to have occurred from a simple confession. A different world, one with no way out.

Probably Wont Be Finished Fics

Do Souls Taste Good? (You Seem To Like Them)

Souls taste like sugar, chew like stale gum, and go down like a rock only to dissolve into energy before they even hit the stomach. They're an acquired taste; one for murderers and kishin eggs and the demon weapons who take them down.

Dee has eaten ninety nine of them, and chews them like bubble gum until the flavor is all gone; Roman's not had half as many, but he only gives them a few cursory chews out of habit; and his brother Remus doesn't even have a dozen, but he always licks them with a grin before popping it in his mouth and swallowing hard so that it's path down his throat is violently visible.

They all think the souls taste too sickly sweet.

A soul eater au

Run A Rig

He wanted the title, and the Captain wanted to be anything but idle.

The Siren wanted the sea, and the liar wanted all to be free.

They wanted their brother back, but each journey is more perilous than the last.

The Serpent’s Song is a ship for many, and at the same time a ship for none. Because when everyone runs a rig, nothing true can be done.

A pirate au

Sowing Dragons Teeth (Only on Ao3)

Roman knows the bartender with the pretty eyes is gonna be the death of him, regardless of the fact that he is already dead.

(Or undead.)

Bullet Point Fics

Sanders Cats (Cat AU)

Ghost Hunters

Logan has beaker mugs

Sides as Six of Crows

Virgil Hisses At People

Remus Mails Himself (Intrulogical)

SAO Abridged

Baby Virgil Is The Smartest Side

Mini!Virgil

[yet-another-fan-girl9]

Inhuman (1)

Summary: All beings in the universe have a soulmate except for Midgardians. People can hear their soulmate in their heads. For almost five hundred and fifty years, Loki believed that he had no soulmate until 1513 when a Midgardian princess was born. Will fate be kind to them or will the universe tear them apart?

Warnings: violence, language, hella historical inaccuracies (I tried to do research but then got lazy), maybe some AOS season 2 spoilers(?)

Word Count: ~3400

A/N: Yay! The re-write is here! I changed it so now there are flashbacks and stuff and the chapters are longer! I’m also posting this chapter a day early because of reasons. Anyways, enjoy!

[New York, New York, March 2024]

‘Soulmates?’ You had never heard of the concept.

‘We are destined to be together. The universe made it so.’

You shot up in bed, a light sheen of sweat covered your body. Loki’s words replayed over and over in your head. You hadn’t heard his actual voice in so long but it was still as clear as if he was speaking to you now. It had been twelve years since you had seen him in Germany and he had tried to take over.

‘We are destined to be together.’

The words echoed in your mind. ‘Destined’ huh? Well, if you’d learned anything from the past four hundred and eighty-six years that you were not with Loki, it’s that the universe does a shit job at keeping you together. You ran your fingers through your hair, easily smoothing out the tangled mess. It was too early to think about Loki.

You slipped out of the silk sheets that covered your king-sized bed in your two-level, top floor Upper East Side penthouse. You were very proud of how far you had come. The view was amazing. You could see some of Central Park from one side and the stereotypical New York skyline from another.

As you walked out of your room, you caught your reflection in one of your full-sized mirrors. And that was definitely a nice view. When you came out of Terrigenesis almost five hundred years ago, you quickly discovered that you were now the blueprint for a perfect person. Straight, white teeth, surprisingly tameable hair, and clear, unblemished skin were some of the visually obvious changes. In addition to your perfected looks, you had increased senses, healing, strength, endurance, and your favorite, pain tolerance. Oh, and don’t forget you basically look twenty-five forever.

You checked your phone while you made breakfast in the kitchen downstairs. There were a couple of emails from your employees on their latest jobs. You opened one from Max, your right-hand man. You were reading over some job offers he had handpicked for you when you got a text from the man himself.

Bringing up some donuts!

Max was the only person from work to have access to your penthouse. He was your best friend. The two of you had met when you were at Afterlife nearly fifteen years ago. He was an Inhuman as well. All of your employees were Inhumans, using their specialties to carry out their jobs. Max had the power to change surfaces. It was a strange power, but he had learned to make it very useful. He could cause his pursuers to slip on the suddenly ice-like ground or climb up a glass skyscraper.

“Hello, bitch! I brought donuts!” Max called from the elevator.

“I’m in the kitchen!”

Max walked in holding the goods. He always wore eccentric color-coordinated outfits. Even the times you saw him in stealth mode, he had to have some lace or frill somewhere. Today he wore a mixture of neon green and pink with matching eyeliner.

“Are Cosmo and Wanda disguising themselves as your clothes?” you asked.

“Haha,” he deadpanned. “I knew you were going to say something like that. You’re so fucking funny. Soo…” He plopped the three large donut boxes onto your kitchen counter. “Have you heard of the Avenger’s new quote-unquote recruit?”

“Um, I think it’s your job to keep tabs on heroes.” You opened the nearest box and happily pulled out your favorite donut.

“Okay. Number one: I’m not speaking to you as your right-hand, right now, but as your friend.” He held up his finger. “Number two: it’s not really a job if I do it in my free time anyways. You’re paying me to do something that I do on an hourly basis.”

“You stalk the Avengers on an hourly basis?”

“No? Anyways, number three: it’s Thor’s brother. It’s your Loki.”

“What the fuck?” you choke on your donut. Max was the only person who knew you that you and Loki had a history. And that’s all he knew. Nothing about soulmates or all that shit. “What the fuck, Max? Did you try to use donuts to soften the blow? Stop laughing.”

“I-I wish I had caught that reaction on camera,” he said in between fits of giggles.

“Haha,” it was your turn to deadpan. “Fuck, man. I guess we just have to double our efforts to keep ourselves off of their radar.”

“Do you think they’ve forgiven him for New York?” Max composed himself.

“I mean, they must have if they’re letting him join the team.” You chanced another bite of your donut.

“But lots of people haven’t.”

“Lots of people still haven’t forgiven Barnes,” you pointed out. You didn’t know when or why Loki had attacked New York. That Loki was nothing like the man who you had grown to love back in the 1500s. But you were nothing like that girl either.

 “Have you chosen a new job from the list I sent you?” he changed the subject.

“No, not yet, and you have a little…” you motioned to the corner of your mouth.

Max got the hint and wiped some powder off of his mouth. You noticed the sprinkling of grey that was mixed into his curly black hair. He displayed the last fifteen years proudly while you remained unchanged. Max was the closest you’ve been to someone in a long time, and just like everyone before him, you would outlive him. But you would remember him. You remembered everyone. You remembered everything.

Right now, you thought of Agnes, your first real friend. She was your handmaiden and you had met right before everything went to shit. She had helped you cope after you underwent Terrigenesis, although you hadn’t known what it was back then. She had helped you run away and even died for you. You had only known her for nine years, but you compared everyone to her. Max held second place, right after Agnes.

“I think we should take the Senator’s offer,” Max said, jolting you out of your memories. He pulled up the offer on his iPad. “One million to off his upcoming competition.”

“Damn,” you whistled. “He’s desperate, isn’t he? Is there a deadline?”

“No, but I assume we should get it done quickly.”

“Send over the info.”

🌹

You shoved the flower into Jake Morano’s mouth. Blood from the bullet wound in his forehead trickled down until it turned the perfect, white rose red. You snapped a quick photo on your burner phone to send to the Senator as confirmation. With a huff, you looked around the apartment. Mr. Anderson had put up a fight, although it didn’t do anything to deter you and Max. A few glass awards were in pieces on the hardwood floor, family pictures were shattered, and the wall behind you held a couple of bullets from Anderson’s gun.

“All good?” Max asked from his location by the computer. He was deleting all footage of you being there. And everything else, just to be safe.

“Yep.” You walked over to him, your boots making a satisfying clicking on the ground, and proudly displayed the picture of the dead body. “Got the confirmation picture for the Senator. How’s it coming?”

“Almost… there. We’re good to go.”

The two of you left in your favorite black Lamborghini. Unfortunately, you actually had to drive places now that Gordon was dead. You followed his advice, though, and bought a plane along with four other sports cars, a helicopter, and a couple of motorcycles. You knew how to operate every single one of them. What else were you supposed to do except for establishing your contract killing empire?

🌹

Loki stood in the middle of his assigned room with his hands on his hips. It certainly was much nicer than the last prison the Avengers had kept him in. They may say it wasn’t a prison but the twenty-four-hour surveillance from Stark’s new AI said otherwise. Even though it was nicer than the shitty glass cylinder from twelve years ago, it was empty. Thor had shown Loki the few things in his room: books, photographs, and his own goddamned merchandise. 

Would Loki have his own merchandise one day? Everyone was redeemable as shown by Romanoff and Barnes. Maybe there would be plastic replicas of his helmet? No, Loki thought that was stupid. Only heroes got merchandise and heroes had to show up to events and sponsor health drinks or whatever the fuck they do. Heroes had to be nice.

Nothing good ever came from being on Midgard. Most recently, there was his father dying, although what followed was worse. Before that was the attack he had been forced to make on the city. And the first time he had ever come to Midgard had ended with disappointment and heartbreak.

Loki sighed and waved his hand to conjure green and gold accents, sheets, and blankets. At least there was color in the room now. No doubt the AI had reported that he had used his magic. He hoped it had also told them that all he did was improve the room, he didn’t need anyone talking to him at the moment.

“Good afternoon, Reindeer Games,” the AI echoed through the room. Loki glowered at the sound of Stark’s nickname. “There is a meeting in Conference Room Five that the entire team is required to attend.”

Loki hadn’t the faintest fucking idea where the conference rooms were. He left his room and caught sight of his brother and the Valkyrie. The God of Mischief followed the pair down to where the meeting was taking place. Did he really want to go? If he wanted to be part of the team he would have to. He preferred the Revengers, though. While it had lasted. It was smaller.

Everyone was sitting around the long table. Of course, Loki would be the last to arrive. Stark and Barton both glared at him when he entered. Understandable. Romanoff remained impassive, but Loki knew she would bash his head in the first chance she got. Rogers had to remain positive that Loki could be redeemed because if the Norse God could redeem himself, then so could Barnes. Bruce had warmed up to Loki on the journey to Midgard. None of the newer members of the team outright hated him, but they were still cautious around him.

Loki found himself sitting in between his brother and Bruce. Stark went up to the screen at the front and everyone fell silent.

“This is Jake Morano.” The screen turned on to show a dead man with a rose stuffed in his mouth. “He was going to run for Senator against this guy.” The screen changed. “This guy is William Anderson, a very corrupt Senator. In the last month, Morano began to gain a lot of support including a sponsor from us. Well, a sponsor from me in the name of the Avengers.”

“Are you implying that Anderson killed Morano?” Rogers asked.

“I’m saying that Anderson hired someone to kill Morano.” The screen changed again to display multiple bodies left with a rose in their mouths. “I had F.R.I.D.A.Y. do a quick search of bodies with roses found in their mouths and we found a shocking amount of similar deaths. The first ones dating back to the nineteen twenties. More recently, some of the deaths have happened at the same time on opposite sides of the globe. Deaths include, but are not limited to, shooting, stabbing, poisoning, drowning, burning, missing organs, being found stuck in a wall, and looking like a suicide. They all have a white rose soaked in blood in their mouths.”

“Are you sure it isn’t a serial killer?” Wilson questioned.

“Yeah, it’s probably not the same guy,” Romanoff pointed out. “Especially if it goes back to before Steve looked like that.”

“It’s gotta be an organization,” Barnes guessed. “Been around for a while, a couple of deaths happening at the same time, and one constant MO.”

“Loki?” Everyone looked at the God of Mischief when Stark said his name. “You’re technically a part of this team now. What’s your opinion?”

“Barnes is probably right,” Loki said after a moment’s hesitation. “The locations are all over the place and there are many different ways the victims met their demise.”

They nodded and Loki returned to silence.

“Alright, game plan.” Stark clapped his hands. “We have to get Anderson into an interrogation room. Round one is the good cops: Steve and Sam. When he doesn’t crack, and he won’t, we up the intensity. Nat and the Manchurian Candidate will do some intimidation. If he still doesn’t crack we can send in Wanda, or even Reindeer Games if she’s not comfortable, to search his mind.”

“Are all Midgardian politics like that?” Loki heard the Valkyrie ask Thor after the meeting. Thor only shrugged so she turned to Bruce.

“I mean, I haven't been here in a while but it’s always kinda been fucked up.”

Only an hour after the meeting, Anderson took out one million dollars in cash. Stark tracked him to a small cafe where he was going to, no doubt, pay the assassin. The team rallied, but of course, Loki wasn’t going. Apparently, he wasn’t ‘cleared’ yet. The only other people staying behind were the Valkyrie, Thor, and Barton due to a recent injury. 

Loki went to his room to sulk, although he told everyone he was thinking. He didn’t want to be here. Maybe he wanted to go somewhere that reminded him of home with tall buildings that reached the sky… 

🌹

"Hello, (Y/N)." Loki’s voice was as smooth as it was in your head, but it was different. The only way you could describe it was that it was solid. It felt less intimate. Like he could bless others with his words, but it was more special because he was here. 

"Loki," you breathed.

"You look more beautiful than I ever could imagine." He stepped closer.

You touched your hair self-consciously. There were multiple knots, and it probably looked like one of those bird nests the dogs always knocked out of trees. You had woken up in a hurry and your hair being trapped in the hood of your cloak probably didn't help.

Then it occurred to you that you were wearing only your nightgown, and you tightly wrapped your cloak around yourself. Loki wouldn’t hurt you, but no man has seen you in an outfit so revealing. Still, you took another step closer.

"I do not know what to say." Fortunately, your voice didn’t shake or waver as you had feared, but Loki could probably feel your nervousness.

You both took a final step closer. You reached up and cupped Loki's face in your hand which tingled slightly when you made contact. You admired his sharp features and bright blue-green eyes. Then you shivered in the cold winter air. Loki noticed and pulled you into a hug. You leaned into him and felt a shiver, a different, better shiver, shoot through your body.

“You’re real.” Your soft voice was almost lost in the biting wind. “I was so scared that I was dreaming.”

Another goddamned dream about Loki? You groaned into your pillow and pushed a few damp strands of hair away from your face. Why now, all of a sudden? Was it because he was so close? Just a few hours upstate in the Avenger’s compound.

Pushing the dream aside, you stretched and got ready for the day. You had sent the photo to the Senator, who you had learned was very fucking corrupted, and he replied with a location. That changed your plans a bit, you hadn't physically met a client in decades, but it was for the better for multiple reasons.

The first reason was that the cafe he had chosen was next to a flower shop where you got your supply of roses. The second reason was that it meant his apartment would be empty. While you went to get the money, and eventually kill Senator Anderson, Max was going to rob his house. It wasn’t something you’d usually do, but honestly, the shitty asshole deserved it.

Your lips were painted red and you wore your usual boots and a leather jacket. Your regular hair was hidden behind a pink and green wig, courtesy of Max. A baseball cap and large sunglasses further hid your appearance. Though if somebody knew your face, the hat and glasses did nothing. There were multiple knives hidden on your body as well as a handgun tucked into your waistband and a pocket pistol in your, well, pocket.

As you walked into the cafe, Izzy, the auburn-haired florist, nodded to you. She had Botanokinesis, plant manipulation, so your supply of white roses was never low. Every once in a while, Izzy would take a job but she had told you she was very happy in her shop.

You noticed the Senator immediately. He still wore a suit and the sunglasses did nothing to hide his identity. There were two young women behind the counter and you suspected that the four other ‘customers’ were too buff not to be the Senator’s security. Anderson had his back to the door which meant you would have to get past his security to get out. You zeroed in on the black briefcase on the ground by his feet.

“Senator,” you greeted and sat down across from him.

“You can’t possibly be the one I talked to,” the asshole replied. “You’re just a girl.”

“Well of course I couldn’t be,” you rolled your eyes behind your heavily tinted glasses. “My boss is too busy and smart to meet you in public.” He didn’t notice your sarcasm. You pulled out the burner phone and showed him the messages as proof. “Now, I’m also busy so if we can get this over with?”

“Sure, darling.” He put the briefcase flat on the table and pushed it towards you.

“Open it.” Even though small boobie traps wouldn’t hurt you much, it wasn’t a piece of information you wanted to give him.

Anderson sighed and complied. Then you turned it around to quickly inspect the contents. One thousand one hundred dollar bills. Hello Mr. Franklin. You nodded in satisfaction and comically rubbed your hands together to inconspicuously grab a knife that was hidden up your sleeve.

“Thank you, Senator. That will be all.”

You closed the case, stood up, and plunged your knife deep into his left carotid artery. As his security descended upon you, you pulled the knife out and his neck satisfyingly squirted blood. The Senator collapsed with his hands clutching his wound desperately. The pool of blood rapidly grew underneath him.

The two baristas screamed behind the counter and the Senator’s security drew their guns. You flipped the small table for cover as bullets pierced the cafe’s window behind you. Perfect. Just a bit more.

You pulled out the handgun from your waistband and with practiced ease, shot three of the four goons. The last one got the bloodied knife to the face. You elbowed the already damaged window and it finally broke, raining glass down on you. Ignoring the small cuts, you jumped out of the cafe through the window as a familiar red and gold suit landed in front of you. Why the fuck were the Avengers here? What about Loki?

You darted into Izzy’s shop and she played her part well, screaming that you had run out the back when you had actually gone into the side room. You listened as the Avengers followed her directions. One person, maybe it was the Black Widow, stayed behind to help calm down the seemingly hysterical Izzy. If she wasn’t so happy at her shop and she didn’t want to work directly for you, she could be a great actress.

You rolled back the rug on the ground to reveal a metal trapdoor. You entered the code to unlock it and climbed down into the darkness. Behind you, you heard the trapdoor’s magnetic lock click back into place. Two centuries ago, you had tunnels dug underneath Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Queens for easy getaways. If you went… that way, you would end up in Sandra’s souvenir shop which was a couple of blocks away from your penthouse.

With a million dollars in one hand and a handgun in the other, you walked down the concrete tunnel.

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Taglist:

@kaithehero @liliannyah​ @andreasworlsboring101 @oatballsoffury​ @aberrant-annie

[allie1804-fan]

Please Assist Me (Epilogue)

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8,  Chapter 9, Chapter 10 , Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14, Chapter 15 , Chapter 16, Chapter 17, Chapter 18, Chapter 19, Chapter 20, Chapter 21, Chapter 22, Chapter 23 , Chapter 24 , Chapter 25

 Warnings: Finishing this story off with more fluff!

She Said

Monday 2nd September 2024.

I sneaked out of bed at 6.30 and went through to Eva’s room   - as promised she was already awake and I sent my grown up girl (now 12) downstairs as planned to start the coffee, warm up a croissant and set out two trays – a breakfast tray and a gift tray. Then, I went through to Miguel, always more of a sleepy head, to start the process of waking him.  Hopefully when the time came for us to go back into our room to wake the birthday “boy”, he would be awake  and through being a morning grump - how he was already behaving like a teenager at 10 was a mystery to me!

Finally I went into Emma who I knew would most likely be playing with one of her sound effect story books already. She was 3 months away from her 3rd birthday and sleeping in a big girl bed but she rarely got up independently, preferring to play quietly until one of us went into her.

“Hey cutie pie, you all ready for Daddy’s birthday?” She looked up and beamed at me, her dark hair sticking up at crazy angles – in that respect and many others she was a daddy’s girl! 

By 10 to 7 we were ready to rock and roll and that was vital since it was a school day – the world didn’t stop simply because it was Keanu Reeves’ 60th birthday!

He Said

I awoke on 2nd September 2024 to what had become a family tradition since we’d all lived together. The kids and Sophia would make a breakfast tray and bring me coffee and a croissant and one or two gifts as well as singing me happy birthday. They would start softly if I was still sleeping, the volume rising to raucous as soon as they knew I was awake! The previous year had been the best since then my birthday had fallen on a Saturday and we’d all slept in, but this year had to be early with the older kids having to go to school and Emma would be in nursery.

Eva held the breakfast tray and Miguel the one with the presents while Emma jumped up and down, holding onto a helium balloon with the number 60 on it and shouting “Happy burpday Daddy!”  

Her enthusiasm and energy still surprised me  -  her early entry to the world had imprinted on me a sense that she was a little more delicate than the others. She’d been born at 37 weeks and spent a couple of weeks in the NICU helping her lungs develop better causing Sophia and I a period of worry that went on far beyond that time in the unit. However since she’d turned 2, she seemed to have caught up on the growth charts and her respiratory issues had settled. She was a little firecracker and seemed to have inherited quite strong traits from each of our parents - the Hawaiian from my dad and the Mexican from Sophia’s dad.  I was sure she’d grow to be a real beauty and that I’d end up being even more protective of her in her teens!

Sophia sat down on the side of the bed and gave me a big kiss – to Miguel’s disgust – he started his vomiting noises right away.

Eva scolded him

“You should be glad they love each other – much better than parents who argue all the time!”

She had a wise head and I know her comment came from the experience of Sophia and Javier splitting up as well as several of her school friends whose parents had gone through divorce. She would always report into us when this happened and I could tell that she was checking in on us too, just to make sure she had nothing to worry about.  When I went away for a shoot, she always made sure she knew the call schedule and rarely missed her chance to check in with me whereas Miguel would not drag himself off his Xbox if he was mid game!

“Ok everyone, let’s get this party started”, I said, sitting up in bed so the trays could be presented.  I handed one of the gifts to Emma to unwrap and the other to Miguel. You two unwrap so I can have my breakfast OK?” This was another tradition we had started though Miguel was getting a little old for it by now but he took part with good will. Sophia had brought me a new blue scarf to replace the one she’d bought me in Christmas 2019 that I’d since sadly lost. The children had opted for a couple of devices for me to attach to my bike and car keys that I could whistle to locate them!

  She Said

It was 10.30 and we’d only been back in the house for about 30 minutes after doing the school and nursery runs. I lay back on the bed, beads of sweat on my brow and chest.

“Ok, you win, you’ve proved your point!”

“And that is?”

“That there is no decrease in performance  as you move from one decade into another!”

“Thank you, I’m very glad to have proved my point”  Keanu said grinning. “I love all our birthday traditions, but that is the best of them all”

“Mmmmm” I murmured, nuzzling into his chest, feeling sleepy already.

“Love you old man!”  

“Love you too, my cheeky chiquitita”

 @fortheloveoffanfic @kindainlovewithk’eanu @omg-imagine @iworshipkeanureeves @fics-not-tragedies @ficsnroses @keanureevesisbae @penwieldingdreamer @witty-wallflower @paperplanesandwallflowers @bitchyslut99 @ladyreapermc @toomanystoriessolittletime @fanficsrusz @keanuficfiles @bitchyslut99

[connorssock]

Id love to see a sort of AU of sorts of that super cute/badass fic you wrote where Gavin got sponsored in gymnastics so when he got kicked out he had somewhere to go (with the sponsor?) And eventually competed world wide before retiring to become police

I spent so long thinking about this and I tried to make sure Gavin still ended up on the police force but…I hope you can forgive me for taking this idea and twisting it a little, Nonnie! I’m not going to lie, this turned into an Olympics AU that nobody really asked for.

For those curious, this is the post being referred to.

Much like in the other post, Gavin’s 18th birthday present is a pre-packed bag and being shown the door. But this time, he’s got somewhere to go. There wasn’t any money in the backpack and Gavin doesn’t exactly have much in the bank, so he figures that as the weather is good, he can walk for a couple of hours to get to Hank’s.

The house is silent when he gets there. Perhaps he should be concerned that he knows where his coach lives and that it’s not the first time he’s been there, but Gavin’s got his heart set on the Olympics and Hank was one of the few willing to work with him. Maybe the way they’d met wasn’t quite conventional either. Gavin had been aware of Anderson’s fame in the heyday, knew he was destined for great things in the gymnastic world. He’d been a role model to many right up until the fateful crash that shattered his elbow and robbed him of any future in the sport. Even worse, his son was killed and Hank all but dropped off the face of the planet.

As luck would have it, Gavin lived in the same town Hank had run away to. There were rumours at the club about the great fabled Anderson living locally and Gavin decided to take matters into his own hand. He’d done a bit of detective work and tracked Hank down, only to knock on his door unannounced one evening after school.

The man who opened the door reeked of alcohol and yelled at him to piss off. His words slurred and Gavin was torn. The person who could have gotten him to the Olympics was nothing more than a washed up drunk. But something nagged at him, urged him to come back. So Gavin did, he pestered Hank until the man finally snapped. Told him that if Gavin could do an Arabian Flip then and there, he’d consider taking him on.

There was a stunned silence when Gavin dumped his bag on the ground, took a step back and did a wonky Arabian Flip on Hank’s front lawn. His landing didn’t stick, the twist wasn’t a complete 180 but it was good enough when not warmed up, stressed and put on the spot. Gavin shoved his phone number and training regime into Hank’s hands and ran before did something stupid.

Three days later, Hank was by the sidelines at the club when Gavin arrived. He even wore an ugly shirt.

Despite the rocky start, Hank proved to be a better coach than expected. Sure, he pushed Gavin hard, put him through his paces but it meant that by the 2020 Olympics, Gavin had secured himself a spot in Tokyo. He never expected his parents to shatter his hopes by not signing the form that would have allowed him to travel. All Gavin remembers of the Olympics that year was sitting on Hank’s couch and getting progressively more drunk together as some haughty Russian took the gold he’d wanted to badly.

A couple of months later, Gavin waited for Hank to get home from wherever he was. At least it was still only cool and not cold, sitting on his doorstep with a bag between his feet. When Hank finally rolled up, he took one look at Gavin and wordlessly let him in.

Within a matter of weeks, Gavin had his own place. He didn’t mind sleeping on Hank’s couch, but it didn’t do his back any favours. All the same, Hank had pulled some strings and suddenly Gavin had a couple of sponsors, a bit of money in the bank and a place to call his very own. It was the best possible outcome for his situation and he was content.

Training and competitions came and went. Gavin built up quite a name for himself and by the time 2024 rolled around, he was comfortable in the knowledge that he had earned a place in the competition and his parents wouldn’t be able to stop him from going to Paris.

The trip to Europe was a bit of a blur. It was Gavin’s first time on an aeroplane and he couldn’t quite wrap his head around it. Next to him, Hank snored merrily with an eye mask shutting out any light. There was a small part of Gavin that was jealous of his easy sleep, but at the same time, he didn’t want to miss anything about the trip.

Once they’d landed, got their luggage and were outside the airport, they made their way to the Olympic village. Hank had warned him numerous times that it was all a bit hectic, a bit crazy. People were doing things they wouldn’t normally do. In the end, all Hank had said was “what happens in the village stays in the village” with a grin that spoke of many memories Gavin was sure he didn’t need to know about.

Of course, Hank had been right. It was absolute chaos. There were petty cat fights followed by makeup sex, sometimes in a rather public setting. Gavin would have loved it if he could say he had only once walked into one of the communal lounges to find an archer bent over the back of the sofa by a shooter muttering about true aim.

In all of this, Gavin tried to keep his head on straight and was down at the practice grounds every day. It was inevitable he’d run into his competition, including the defending Russian champion. Now, Gavin could admit when someone was attractive, he might have even slurred something along those lines to Hank four years back. They’d even passed each other in a few competitions but they never struck up conversation. The problem was that up close, he was more than handsome. Even worse, Hank had nodded along but mumbled something about liking them a little softer and approachable.

Everybody called him Nines because of his average score. His trainer was Amanda Stern and she looked every bit the harpy. It was a matter of luck that their rooms were opposite Gavin and Hank’s. To make things a little more confusing, some mornings Gavin swore Nines looked a little different. Shorter and more willowy. He snorted when he realised Nines must wear fake contact lenses to get the piercing blue eyes.

It didn’t help that one morning Gavin stumbled out of his room to find Hank leaning against the wall a little too casually and was chatting to Nines. Jealousy wasn’t quite the emotion that flooded Gavin, but Hank was fraternising with the enemy. The enemy that he himself may or may not have quite a strong attraction to at that. Hank glanced his way and smiled before he turned back to Nines with a smile.

“I better get going, catch you around, Connor.”

That was not Nines’ name. Gavin blinked and watched as Hank waited for him to puzzle it out. No explanation came to mind and all Gavin could do was let out a confused “ehhhhh?” and wave.

“That’s Connor, Nines’ brother and fencer. Was going to be a gymnast but Amanda almost destroyed his and Nines’ relationship with her training regime and constantly pitting them against each other. So he saved their relationship and decided to take his frustrations out by hitting people with a sword instead,” Hank shrugged.

Suddenly Hank’s words about preferring them softer made more sense. Because Connor was softer than Nines and there was no conflict of interest either which definitely eased things. Gavin idly wondered how long Connor and Hank had been friends.

“His English is pretty good,” Gavin tried to probe gently.

“Father was Russian, mother was American. They were orphaned here so Amanda took them in when they were around 8. For all intents and purposes they’re Russian but…well, they could apply for US citizenship if they ever wanted to.”

It was impossible to miss the wistful note in Hank’s voice and Gavin knew exactly what he was thinking.

Training and avoiding parties became Gavin’s focus as he prepared for the competition. It was suddenly all too real and he needed to prove himself. He was in the last three minutes of his allocated practice time, tired and frustrated when his landings wouldn’t stick no matter how much he tried to keep his knees soft. All it took was one moment for his concentration to blip out and he was flat on his backside with a groan.

A hand was offered to pull him up and Gavin blinked in surprises as Nines backed away.

“Your left foot isn’t completely straight, it’s why your landings aren’t good enough.”

Before Gavin reply, Nines stalked away.

He began to see more and more of Nines. Watched his routine as the crowds screamed for him, how the judges nodded along. It was infuriatingly seamless and he was shot straight to the top of the leader board.

When it was Gavin’s turn, he stood nervously, palms damp with sweat despite being covered with chalk. His name was announced and his mind went blank while his body took over and went through the familiar steps of his routine.

Gavin would never be able to remember much of what happened, it was all a blur of anxiety that warred with the comfort of knowing what he was doing. He was where he’d always dreamt he would be and nobody could take that away from him anymore.

He remembered Hank hugging him tight, his name being called again on the loudspeaker along with a score. It didn’t beat Nines’ near perfection, but it was a personal best. Gavin was even tactful enough not to mention how Hank’s cheeks were tear streaked when he released him from the bear hug.

“That was a very credible performance,” Nines shook his hand when Gavin stepped into the changing rooms.

From there, they watched the rest of the competitors together. Cringed when the guy from Denmark landed wrong and twisted his ankle, cheered when the Chinese gymnast rescued a flip with an inch to spare from crashing out. Neither of them really knew when the space between them decreased or when they decided that dinners and holding hands in private was a great idea, but it made them happy.

They stood next to each other on the podium, Nines with his gold medal and Gavin with his bronze.Neither of them could keep the happy grin from their faces.

Like with everything, things came to an end. They exchanged contact details and agreed to try and stay in touch. Their e-mails were infrequent and secretive, Nines never said it out loud but Gavin knew that if Amanda found out about them, it would be a disaster.

He almost had a heart attack when, after a training session, Gavin dropped by Hank’s place and thought he saw Nines. But it was only Connor sat on Hank’s old couch with Sumo’s head in his lap.

“I have something for you,” Connor said and quietly slipped into the bedroom.

Gavin valiantly didn’t think about the fact that there was only one bedroom in Hank’s house and all of Connor’s things seemed to be in there. Any such thoughts vanished from his mind when a soft parcel was pressed in his hands. He didn’t open it in front of Connor, but the next time he went to practice, Hank was there with Connor at the club. It was fairly obvious that Connor had no clue what he’d brought over for Gavin, but his eyes widened when he recognised the hoodie. Thankfully he didn’t say anything.

In an effort to stay in touch, Gavin looked into more international competitions, managed to grab spots at a couple Nines was at. Their stolen moments were even better than beating him to first place on the podium.

By the time the Olympics came to LA, Gavin was excited. He waited at the airport for the plane to land from Russia. Connor was at his side, vibrating with excitement at seeing his brother again. He never did tell them what had happened, but a year after Paris, he retraced his mother’s heritage and moved over to the US. It was going to be the first time he was competing against his old Russian team in the Olympics and he was nervous.

“Brother,” Nines greeted him with a squeeze to his shoulder before he nodded at Gavin. “Nice to see you both.”

Gavin offered to drive while Connor sat in the back with Nines. They were catching up when Connor suddenly switched to Russian. Whatever he said got a very terse and annoyed reply from Nines and all conversation ceased.

Much like in Paris, the Olympic Village was manic. But this time, Gavin knew what to expect and was grinning wildly at the fact that Nine was his neighbour this time. Something told him it wasn’t pure luck it worked out like that. Especially when on Hank’s other side Connor moved in.

The tabloids were going nuts over the athletes. They speculated romances, feuds and delighted in mulling over tragedies. Oddly enough, Nines and Amanda became a frequent topic. They were often caught arguing in hushed tones, both looking furious. Nobody knew the root of the problem but it was obvious that the Russians were in a pickle.

The day of the competition came and Gavin settled in to watch Nines. A hush of anticipation fell over the hall as Nines took up position. His first landing was botched, his flips messy, timing deliberately a little off. Gavin held a hand to his mouth to hide the noises.

“What is he doing?” Hank hissed next to him.

With a final sloppy cartwheel, Nines finished, stood straight with his arms in the air. Both his middle fingers extended as he did a quick turn towards where Amanda sat and with a sneering smile took a mock bow before marching out of the arena.

“Holy shit, that is one heck of a statement.” Hank’s voice was lost in the mutterings of the crowd.

Needless to say, Nines crashed out of the competition in the first round. He looked smug as he sipped something that was in all likelihood alcoholic while lounging on one of the communal sofas.

“What the fuck was that about?” Gavin asked when he found him, Connor and Hank hot on his heels.

“An artistic expression of what I thought about Amanda. I thought the message was quite clear,” Nines shrugged. “Incidentally, Connor, you don’t have a couch I could stay on for a bit? I have a feeling I’m not returning back to Russia once the games are over.”

It was one heck of a way to declare his intentions but Gavin couldn’t let Nines distract him. He was competing the next day and needed to keep his focus. All the same, he was filled with warmth when he spotted Nines next to Hank in the trainer’s box just before he walked to into the arena. The small wink Nines sent him made him flush but then there was no room to think as he began his routine.

Gavin stood proudly on the podium, a gold medal around his neck. There were flashes of the cameras going off around him, people calling his name. It wasn’t something he ever really truly expected to experience despite wanting it for pretty much all his life.

He ginned when he saw Nines walking towards him and stopping in front of him.

“You’re actually taller than me for once,” Nines mused before crooking a finger at him.

Gavin leaned down and almost dropped his bouquet when Nines grabbed him by the medal and tugged him down for a kiss. If Gavin thought the cameras were going wild before, it was a veritable lightning storm now. The tabloids were full of the picture of them kissing, mulling over whether it was a kiss of affection or a Russian threat.

All in all, it was a great thing to giggle over, the two of them entangled on Gavin’s couch and giggling before returning to filling out Nines’ application for citizenship.