#I kinda want to reread it now
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so while not quite birthday art, a doodle of the two of them for the birthday~! the sillies......
#my art#isat partners in crime au#happy birthday étienne~!#I've thought about this au so much over the last... almost a year now huh#mannn#I kinda drifted from it from a while (hasn't replayed isat and Wants To but going to Play For Friends and therefore hnggg)#but I'm looking at some of the au stuff we've made and shared and just. pic au....... my beloved.....#I should reread the stuff we wrote already and everything again.#look at the art....#and maybe. actually replay isat.#maybe someday...
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random hc but. crowley being a plague doctor in the 16th/17th century bc he's supposedly "tempting people into death" but he can never, ever bring himself to actually do that so he ends up soothing their pain as best as he can and comforting them in their last moments. one night, after he held a little girl's hand as she passed away, he sits down at the banks of the river thames, with his plague mask discarded on the dirt, and he starts out over the water with tears in his eyes, wondering what the fuck is actually the point? it's not the first time he's asked himself the question nor the first plague he witnessed but, here, now after personally witnessing hundreds of deaths every day, he really wonders what actually is the point of him? why does he exist and why should he keep existing. why does he get to live when so many others don't? how is that fair? how is any of it fair? that's how aziraphale finds him, as he just got back from an assignment somewhere or other and hears crowley is in town, so he discreetly looks for him and finds him there, sitting in the dirt, now with his head in his hands, his shoulders silently shaking and is obviously immediately worried but doesn't know how to comfort him or what's allowed so he just sits beside crowley and watches him try to pull himself together. aziraphale's heart breaks, he put what happened together from the mask and the robes and he obviously knows about the bubonic plague but was convinced it was hell's doing and couldn't have even imagined crowley was out there everyday, helping people under the guise of hurting them. is he surprised? no, of course not but it still hurts to see crowley like this. but he's afraid to cross their unspoken rules so he quietly waits crowley out. he watches the water and doesn't dare look at crowley as he lifts his head and takes a few shaky breaths in. after a few minutes of breathing, crowley croaks out "her name was mary" and nothing else, and aziraphale understands, god he understands. it's one of the things they never speak about after it happens but aziraphale can't forget the night he sat with crowley for hours, till the sun came up, as he cried about a death of one little girl. he holds it close to his chest and never, ever forgets.
#neither does crowley. he should've been cast out the second he put that mask on cause he'd never be able to do what they wanted him to but#aziraphale would never ever say a word about this and crowley didn't even have to ask him. crowley remembers how just for a few moments#aziraphale let himself brush crowley's hair out of his eyes tenderly and yearns for smth he will never have#ugh the longing the yearning. 's too much#this came to me at like 2:33 am as i was tryna fall asleep with my little azicrow fantasies and i had this idea for a painting of this scen#and i sketched it in my notes app then was like fuck it and went to sketch it on paper and now here we are#idk if this is coherent and idk if i care#also this was kinda inspired 'and in the waking world we wait and we want' which is a dreamling fic BUT hob was a plague doctor for a while#there and anyway i think about that fic once a day so i randomly steal ideas from that like bro the historical knowledge that fic has???#INSANE. the history nerd in me goes crazy every time i reread it it's so so so good#anyway i went off track there ill leave whatever this is here#good omens#good omens headcanons#crowley#aziraphale#good omens 2#azicrow#also i dont claim im a writer in any way shape or form im just slightly insane so ignore how awkward this is
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Hello!
If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?
There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?
OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts
No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:
This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.
Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning
Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.
And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!
Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)
This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that
#not art#admin answers#paranatural#pnat#richard spender#pts-fic-notes-and-blog#before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask!#none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them#this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship.#idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell#he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those#to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness#has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count#to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said#also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats#sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him#its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF#which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him#so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time#TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol
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man..
fics just don’t hit me like they used to
#idk man#i used to spend days thinking about ONE fic that just broke my mind but it’s so incredibly rare nowadays#idk if it’s me or…#THIS IS NOT ME COMPLAINING BTW BECAUSE IK THERE ARE AUTHORS OUT THERE THAT POUR THEIR SOUL INTO THEIR FICS#im just really picky :(#kinda? idk#not to mention. i like long fics#like…LONGGGGG long#lots of plot..#ik it takes a lot of energy but it just seems like very few people write them anymore#i don’t want keep rereading the same 2-3 long/multi-chap. fics that i’ve known of for literal years now#they’re gonna lose their magic :(#૮꒰˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶꒱ა ° ᡣ𐭩 . ° . — chatting!
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haikaveh... save me haikaveh...
i KNOW it's been talked about to death but. the haikaveh research project. it literally haunts my mind. i cannot get over the implications. alhaitham going through his school life as someone that most people dont even really know about because he keeps to himself and doesn't socialize, with kaveh being the one exception to that, finding his way into his life as his Best Friend, and then leading to alhaithams one and only time he participated in a research topic. his bio says he only ever did ONE joint project!!! one!!! the one with kaveh his best friend and i think also his only friend at the time!!!! and then it ended in not only the project falling apart but also alhaithams only friendship. kavehs best friendship. they were each others closest person. they had no family around - alhaithams parents having died when he was young and his grandmother dying before he joined the akademiya, and kaveh's dad dying when he was young and his mom having moved to fontaine. like even if you dont look at it through a romantic lens it's still undeniable how important they were [and are] to each other..........
i'm getting off track but my point is very specifically for alhaitham, the one time he got close to someone, made a friend, even agreed to join one(1) group project ever, it ended in disaster. it led him into a fight so bad that his one and only friend said he regretted that friendship!!!! it was so bad alhaitham left the project and he and kaveh didnt speak for ages until they just happened to run into each other again at the tavern!!!!! like obviously it has to be incredibly awful for both of them but i just think how this probably had alhaitham in the cynical mindset that friendships and collaborations like that might just never work out for him because the one time he let someone into his life, it blew up on him and he was all alone again. even though alhaitham never seems to care much if people dont like him, that clearly cant still apply to someone he was exceptionally close to. like if he didnt care he woudlnt have been the one to take his name off the project and mutually not speak to kaveh...... kavehs words are the ones that hit the most significantly to alhaitham.......... kaveh is said/implied to have had at least some other friends while at school / people knew who he was, but not so much alhaitham. people didnt know him and the ones that did just knew he didnt socialize/he was not easy to get along with. he only had kaveh and then, for a while, he lost him too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#the number of times i have reread alhaitham character story 4 and kaveh character story 5. like. dont look at me. kfjsdklfh#on one hand im tempted to think alhaitham would have a fully cynical view of friendship#and be like USELESS NEVER AMOUNTS TO ANYTHING but. i kinda dont think he works like that#well i dont think he would think that either way now but#even in times of friendship breaking up w/kaveh like#alhaitham is very FACTS AND LOGIC and i feel like he would still like#idk. understand the objective value of human companionship. whether or not he feels it works for him#HOWEVER. jkdlhfsd he is also the one who in his other lore bits was like 'grandmother the other children are boring at school'#AT AGE SEVEN god he was probably such an unintentionally funny child. i love u alhaitham u are so neurodivergently coded#so idk i feel like he would have a period where hes like okay. i was alone before and clearly that was the right call bc my 1 friend is gon#even if he does well alone i cant even imagine like. kaveh mustve been a huge impact and difference in alhaithams life#humans need SOME level of socialization!! and kaveh was his.... aughhh god they literally also read as having a bad breakup!!!!!#queer coded TO ME!!!!!! friends to rivals/friends to lovers to enemies to it's complicated..................#but again even if u dont think of it in a romantic sense like it's still so much. they were and are so significant to each other.#their bond is so complex and oughghdhgh they make me go bonkers#i do not think of any other 2 genshin characters so intensely as i do them .what have they done to me. what the fuck.#im alone in my stupid little genshin pit endlessly babbling about these motherfuckers!!!!!!!#and i love them. also i like that one scene in i think cynos 2nd character quest where al and kav r in the library or w/e#and kavehs like wtf no way u dont small talk w/coworkers. and alhaithams like no i just happen 2 hear people but i do not engage#hes so real he likes to eavesdrop but he does NOT want to get involved!!!!!!!!!!!!#also that same scene where kaveh goes 'WTF looking thru these will take FOREVER!!!!' alhaitham: 'ill manage'#kaveh: >:( FINE ILL HELP YOU!!!! like ok he did not ask. silly.#and alhaitham teasing him right after all that. 'teach me to pretend u werent listening' '...' '...' '...' '...HEY STOP IGNORING ME' 'see.'#theyre so goofy. kaveh u walked right into that one. ily.#i love when i talk about characters and it's literally just me going 'wow remember when character x said this. remember when he did that.'#i just love repeating scenes and dialogue and lore over and over and over and offering nothing new to say about it JKFLDSHKLFH#sorry i love them SO much and im bad at drawing and bad at fanfic so i just have to ramble in text posts forever#i do have. a fanfic outlined for them. i am just scared to write it#nothing crazy deep or whatever but yknow. im in a bit of a Funk Right Now dont worry about it#i need a constant stream of alhaitham and kaveh content constantly injected directly into my brain.
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Do you think Meenah has survivors guilt for seemingly being the only dancestor left alive?
#I was just thinking about it the other day and wanted to know what others thought#I kinda wish we saw more of her personal character outside of hanging out with Karkat#which don’t get me wrong is cool & I like their dynamic they got going on but I wanna know more about her#I wanna know what's going through her head even if in the main comic she's sort of treated as this side character#made a poll because I'm curious what people think; personally I wanna say yes but i also wanna just see more of her#I wanna know what's going on in her think pan yknow?#she plays it cool on the outside; but I feel like there's way more to her that we aren't seeing on screen yknow?#I say 'seemingly' because you never know what's gonna happen with beyond canon; who knows; maybe we'll see some of them again#If this was covered in openbound or something I'm sorry; but I read that stuff as it was coming out & haven't reread it#so I wouldn't remember tbh as it's been many years now; even more blurry a memory than college itself#mine#op#dancestors#homestuck#homestuck beyond canon#meenah peixes#hsbc#homestuck^2#hs2#hs
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this is a test
#i’m bored i just wanna see how many words i can put in the tags like will it just keep going on forever or will they stop me like i know th#the tag limit is 30 ok so the iindividual tag limit is 140 characters that’s actually so rude i wanted to keep going forever and see how lo#g this could be but i guess we can do this 30 times ok what the flip should i talk about hm i was playing the guitar today but i rage quit#ause the song was hard and hurting my fingers! ermmmmm it was sunny ok this is boring let’s think of more exciting things to type hmmm acco#ding to all known laws of aviation- jk i’m not doing the bee movie script but can you imagine i think that would be funny hmmmmm words i lo#e podcasts so bad that’s a fact no one has ever know before my blog definitely isn’t all about audio dramas the people are definitely not a#ready aware of this jesus christ this is only the seventh one of these this is actually quite a lot of space i underestimated how much i ha#e to type btw there’s probably spelling mistakes in here somewhere or autocorrect has been annoying but i cba to retype anything so i don’t#care lolllllllllllll how do you feel about oscar malevolent i feel a normal amount actually (lie) yk what i really miss sam and colin alrea#y like i’m actually not okay i really hope we hear from sam again in s2 and also colin ngl i hope ur in the computers soz or not dead miss#im like a bastard my paranoid it king ok erm im running out of things to say um heartstopper s3 was crazy good i cried lmao i love gay peop#e so much it’s crazy i hope it gets renewed for s4 i need to reread the comics lowkey and the books they’re all so talented for being so yo#ng it scares me ngl !!!!!! the tmagp hiatus is getting to me slightly like february in reality is soon and not that far away for how podcas#ts go but seriously how am i supposed to live until then without knowing what happened. please colin be alive. ive only just realised i can#use fills stops. sorry that’s made everything a bit messy. i should’ve been doing this before. whoops. anyways. hi mutuals i love you all s#much i hope you enjoy my rambles and shitposts cause i enjoy yours very much! never think you’re being annoying i literally don’t care be a#annoying as you want posts as much as you want i am ur biggest fan <3 im getting a bit fatigued from typing like my mind is blank basically#now it’s just turned into a. stream of consciousness but i don’t really have any thoughts to put here idk if we’re halfway ermmmm omg it’s#lmost halloween how crazy is that time is flying by i kinda forgot it was october lmao. it’s wild how it’s basically almost christmas. like#what. that’s illegal. how is it wintertime again. what the flip. i miss summer already take me backkkkkkk. i hope my phone doesn’t crash or#smth cause i’ve not saved this as a draft and i cba to do any of this again. maybe i should save it. ok i will when i reach the next tag bc#ok it stopped me but i’ve saved it and holy jesus it’s a lot of text im just sat here giggling there’s really no point to any of this other#than me being bored sooooooooooooooooo (imagine if i just did the letter o for every character wouldn’t that be crazy) so wait there’s 140#haracters and 30 tags so what’s 30 x 140. someone hurry. i haven’t done maths lessons in two and a half years i’ve forgotten everything wai#let me get the calculator app ok im back it said 4100 characters so. i dont know how many words that roughly is but its. a decent amount. o#what the flip why am i wasting tag space with maths. i hate maths. my screen time has been actually soooooooooo bad recently like damn some#one put my phone in a block of ice please joshua gillespie style. my mind is running out of things to say. do i talk about myself. im james#im 18 which is weird cause wdym im an adult go away. ive run out of facts. i love podcasts and procedural dramas that stupid firefighter sh#w is my life unfortunately. i think chappell roan should be the queen of england instead of king charles. i dont like having a king cause#ho needs men in power not me. ok um this is the last tag equal rights for all. yolo. the time will pass anyways! thank u boredom ok bye gn:
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I was unfortunately made aware today that a large part of my ability to recreate Hannibal Lecter's vaguely flirty, entirely serious, absolutely pretentious and philosophical manner of speaking in my writing now in my 20s is due in large part to a 44k Ouran High School Host Club fanfic I wrote in my teens where Benio Amakusa was a recurring character with a lot of dialogue
#tbh that fic is my baby#i haven't reread it in like 2 years#and now that I'm doing it with friends I'm realizing how cringey the fic is but honestly it's kinda part of it's charm#like part of me wants to rewrite it now that I have better writing and storytelling skills#but I think writing it better might actually make it worse overall#anyway#my writing#hannibal lecter#hannibal fic#ohshc#<- i hope y'all know this is what i think of each time i see bshci#ohshc fanfic#benio amakusa
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I just remembered the time I was a summer camp counselor and I tried to read the first Harry Potter book aloud to my campers, and I had to skip over so many fatphobic lines
Because why would I just expose these perfectly nice kids to a bunch of mean comments, played off as comedy, that they would use as ammunition against other kids and themselves? It's just plain cruel. Joanne was incredibly fucking weird for that
#cl thoughts#and Many other things#should I even tag the series?#i hate giving it any air especially online#harry potter#I can't believe I read those things as a kid I think it genuinely made me a more cruel person#harry potter critical#anti jkr#anti jk rowling#i kinda hate using the crit tags bc I know the ppl that need to hear it most will have them blocked but oh well#i have a lot of nostalgia for the series but it's really gross in retrospect#the racism antisemitism misogyny fatphobia transphobia queerphobia in general - the list just goes on#like why'd she have to be so weird with it she could've been normal#hell i reread the series multiple times a year from 5th grade to 9th grade#ugh#like i don't want to say these awful lines then hear the kids repeat them at camp for the rest of the week#obv those books weren't the only source of fatphobia - it was rampant back then and still bad now#but I distinctly remember this book being what introduced me to a lot of specific awful ideas around weight :(
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#sabaody archipelago#ch512#well anyway i'm doing 511 and 512 on the same night bc i want to fluff the queue a bit more#we're getting pretty close to the marineford war arc and there are not going to be a lot of sanjis there... i'm torn between actually doing#a reread for me personally and just skimming for sanjis. i do want to read a few more manga series#i have a list of josei recs from some youtubers i watch since i enjoy josei games#i'm thinking on reading uhhhh life lessons with uramichi oniisan soon since that one seems very funny#idk maybe in a few chapters you'll see my review in some of these tags#but the other 3 series on my notecard areeeee dont call it mystery. even though we're adults (which is also yuri)#and apple children of aeon which i'm probably going to do next? idk yet.#well anyway i'm also getting even deeper into 18trip like its bad bad#netaro sr event happening rn and thank god its just an sr bc i went broke pulling#for nagi's birthday card (got his initial ssr. no birthday though </3#) and renga's birthday is august 9th and grrrrr#i read a better tl of renga's light novel + liguang's ln + first half of sun will r1ze and oh my fucking god#i need a better tl of ten's ln NOW come onnnnnn let me go insane#i'm probably going to be posting 18trip meta on main if anyone was that interested#in my takes on a kinda niche new josei game#play/read 18trip though this is a Threat
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Being an adult will have you nostalgic for the worst fanfiction you've ever read
#i recently reread a pretty famous fic from like 2013? 2014?#and now i keep thinking of other fics i read at the time which i kinda wanna hunt down and reread too#the thing is i used to read a lot of rpf and nowadays i feel so embarrassed reading rpf. like i cannot do that again#but also my brain wants to find it again and give it a reread. gah
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Here are my first thoughts on @hateweasel 's cielois fanfic DLTD, as I share them like 100+ chapters into the journey with my best friend (who hasn't read DLTD nor was ever really into Kuro) trough DMs. Here recapped for y'all.
- I FORGOT!! I DIDN'T KNOW HATE'S PRONOUNS AT THE BEGINNING SO WHEN I SPOKE WITH MY BEST FRIEND (In Italian, where they/them pronouns don't really exists unfortunately) I ALWAYS TRIED TO GET AROUND USING PRONOUNS SO AS NOT TO MISGENDER HER!! At some point (this time on ff.net, bc I usually read on ao3 so that's where I read DLTD first) I read on an author's corner the she/her pronouns and sent an ask to Hate (probably on anon bc that's how I was at first) to confirm and from then on I was finally able to get it together when talking about Hate.
-Hey Hate, remember when I sent you that anon ask talking abt how you reminded me of a French cartoon and you IMMEDIATELY recognized it as Code Lyoko? Yeah related to that whole "school thinks they're adoptive sibling" thing, I wondered why no one at school had questions about why the fuck the supposed siblings had that much non-platonic tension.
-My initial criticism that wasn't actually criticism on Hate bc I knew this was from 10 years ago and i honestly just read it as how teenage boys, especially at the time, behaved. It was criticism to just the boys, not the author. Criticism include:
1)the gay slurs the cast kept throwing around.
2)The way they all said that one in the Cielois was the "woman" - wich is something both homophobic and misogynistic.
3) the "yOuR'E sUcH a GIrL" insult that is, again, misogynistic.
4) Not a criticism to the teenage boys this time but to the girls. WHY are y'all sexualizing these gays?? GET A GRIP!!
-Not a criticism, but since we're talking about their teenager boy behavior that Hate got SO RIGHT: the COSTANT sex jokes related conversation they had. It didn't really bother me so its not criticism, its just very hormonal teen boy minded to bring everything back to that? So I wasn't really annoyed at the teenagers for being teenagers u know. I'm just adding it to the list of what I thought Hate got so well in the characterization of teenager boys.
-at some point my best friend lead me to realize that while everyone in school felt the tension between Cielois, no one had the bets running on when/if they would finally get together. Wich still makes me so sad because HATE, you missed on such a romance fanfic trope 😔 /jk
- Me at the start of the stadium arc when Kris starts being interested in...what the frick was his name?? Cameron?? Idk THAT ONE BLONDE DUDE: Oh so we're gonna have a couple of chill chapters where they are just gonna establish their relationships better!
Me, when the reapers are there and we discover about the bomb: W H A T
-Me: DLTD Suddently became Ouran Host Club? For?? Some reason??
My friend: You know what? It doesn't really surprise me. Imo this story will cover every work of literature ever existed before it ends.
-Mi initial dislike for the name Kristopherson. I still don't really like it but I'm used to it ig? Again no hate to Hate!! I just find it such an unnecessarily long name for his parents to give him? Like choose Kristopher, or Kris, why Kristopherson?? Now I know it's bc Kristopher is his father. And in general i understand that Rich People are Like That TM.
Me, while I was describing Kris's journey of self discovery to my best friend: At the beginning of the story, he was just this random bully who called Alois gay...wich i mean, it was true, but he didn't HAVE to be so mean about it...
Gonna cut this into parts so I don't kill my followers who aren't interested in my DLTD thoughts..i would use the read more thing but idk how to activate that?? Also I wrote this for some time now and I need a break lol
#that cielois fic thats longer than the bible#DLTD#i unironically kinda want to reread the fanfic now no joke#DLTD Thoughts
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i really liked my tags on this post so i wanted to touch them up and post them as a stand alone! i ended up adding quite a bit to this ''':)
What artistic skill does Izzy possess?
I think he has a lot of 'practical' artsy skills. he’s decent at sewing (mending your own clothes isn't just useful, it's almost a requirement at sea with limited possessions and resources) he's probably decent at braiding hair from having to splice rope- simply anything with roots in being useful I think he has done enough to be decent at by this point in his life.
Singing comes into this as well, holding a rhythm is important for certain sailing tasks, and while I think he can sing in ways that don't translate to shanties, I don't think he has utilised this in a long long time (so excited that we are apparently getting an Izzy singing scene in s2!!!! I need him to know he can have fun)
Another thing is I think he was a really good tattoo artist! I don't actually see him as having the creativity to come up with interesting and unique designs but I do think he is excellent at the act itself, and at copying requested designs. you need a swallow? an anchor? a ship? any common sailors tattoo? he can absolutely do it and it will probably be the best tattoo you have. it was always a mark of honour if you could convince him to do yours on the Queen Anne- he was very busy and didn't often do them, and definitely wouldn't do them if he didn't respect you. He's done a lot of Ed's 'quality' tattoos (though I think Ed also does a lot on himself), he's done tattoos for Fang, and Ivan, and he will do them for the rest of the kraken crew in the future. (he will even do one for Lucius one day, one of his own pieces of art as long as its not an Ed face or a dick. They understand each other now)
anything else? I don't know, I see him very much as, he won't let himself do things if they aren't practical. his canon whittling is as close as he gets and that's more of a 'thing to do with your hands while watching the deck' kind of thing. have knife will whittle
I think ultimately, Izzy doesn't let himself do things for himself. if you love something, if you have a soft spot, it can be targeted, taken away.
I do think he maybe dances though. He always plays it off as something Ed forces him to do when they're drunk/on shore but... he loves it- the motion; the reliance on another partner and the intimate understanding of exactly what they're gonna do next? I think he would love that actually.
I think dancing might be the one thing he always does for fun. He never lets himself have it, but if Ed demands a partner? Yes, of course, anything for his Captain.
(Ed always demands a partner. he likes dancing well enough but he likes seeing Izzy do it more- he knows Izzy will never do it on his own, he understands why, but Ed is Blackbeard. Nobody fucks with Blackbeard- and if he wants to dance? if he wants his first mate to dance? they're fucking dancing.)
but that's not the truth of the situation, really.
It always takes him a second to let his guard down, but he relaxes into it. He lets himself loose in a way Ed only sees when he's deep into the rhythm of a swordfight. And perhaps it's the same, to him- finding the flow of the battle, of the music. Feeling his partner, understanding them and being understood in return? It's all the same- but dancing is safe. Dancing is fun. In a swordfight there are stakes- and he loves the stakes, he loves that this thing that means everything to him matters, but sometimes, just sometimes, it really is nice to move like that in a way that doesn't matter.
And when they really get going- all twirls and jumps and frankly being a little ridiculous, Izzy laughs. A deep belly laugh, a kind of joy you didn't think was possible from him. But here he is, letting go at last. He laughs and he smiles and he feels such joy, the rest of the world melts away, and it is just him and his partner, dancing.
(later- much, much later, a man will play a battle song over their raids, a jaunty little tune that throws off everyone they fight against, and Izzy gets to dance, and fight, and feel free, unburdened by the weight that he's carried with him his whole life. They'll dance after too, and he will have finally found a place where he completely belongs)
(if you liked this, can I recommend Talking Bodies by ItsClydeBitches, i feel like that fic fits the themes of dancing incredibly well)
#I didnt want to clog up ops post but Izzy dancing is everything to me actually#I hadnt reread that fic in months but I did just now to make sure it was the one I was thinking of#and yeah I can definitely see its influence in this post#once again the autistic Izzy headcanons thread themselves through this post I cant help it its canon to me#I specifically think that the whittling could be a stim thing for him. hes had too many comments made about his hand movements#when he was younger and has learnt that 'doing something' is seen as far more acceptable. its repetitive and soothing and safe#also heres a fun little gift for my bellhands friends. I think Sam taught him how to dance. like proper dances.#and it was at the same time as he was learning to swordfight which is partly why theyre so similar for him#Ed and Jack came across them dancing in port; not long after they started talking to Izzy properly (hed known Sam a while by this point)#and like. Jack thinks its kinda funny but Ed? oh hes jealous. for the first time he Wants#Izzy and Sam are so close; and they have been for a while but this is Different. its one thing knowing that its Izzy&Sam and Ed&Jack#and its another thing to see them like this. its intimate and personal and for the first time Ed regrets not seeing izzy first#(this is heavily influenced by my personal pirate school headcanons jfgjfhnv)#makes a post to deal with out of hand tags; tags on that post get out of hand#nyxtalks#ofmd#our flag means death#ofmd s2 spoilers#izzy hands#israel hands#edizzy#blackhands#frenchie ofmd#references to him; anyway. i felt it fit to keep him vaguely defined but it is obviously him. my favourite lil guy#this should probably have been broken up into a couple of posts but NO take this behemoth#if youre curious the post is like 844 words long and with the tags its 1220 ish. i am so sorry#references to vague time periods pre canon and post canon idk put them whenever you want. when edizzy was happy. when they will be again#I cut the bit about weaving because it was just a silly little thing and didnt slot into this but know Izzy with a loom is everything to me#im also sorry the tone is all over the place this is half 'i thinks' and half like. semi narrative things? idk idk i have no sense of order#this is as good as it gets for me
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I am going through a mild reading slump and of course my brain is trying to convince me to reread the lord of the rings
#the things is i have read lotr exactly 10 years ago and have not reread it since#i think i listened to the audiobook of the fellowship a few years ago but it's not the same things#and i really REALLY want to do a reread#but i have a block because what if i don't pick it up at the right time and what if i don't enjoy it as much as the first time?#my plan was maybe reading it in the summer when i won't have uni things to balance and i'll be able to really dive into the book#but in the past couple of days my brain has been telling me i should reread it now#and i know for a fact it's the wrong moment#i am way to busy and have to read so much for uni already#but on the other hand i am a mood reader so maybe in the summer i won't be in the mood to reread lotr#uuuuuuugh i truly feel what my old italian teacher used to say when she was like:#i kinda wish i'd break a leg so i could reread lotr unbothered#man she was so right#i think i might attempt reading a couple of pages and see what my heart tells me to do#i would also try to attempt reading it in the original english this time instead of the translated version but idk if my brain can do that#in conclusion i am going through a book crisis and i am doubting my brain thanks for coming to my tedtalk#cris speaks#the---hermit
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ive been rereading sclass manhwa to distract myself from the orv shaped hole in my heart
#ao text#wanted to reread orv manhwa but it felt too soon#the wound is too fresh#but now i kinda wanna reread debut or die as well hm#ahhhh but also what if i read sctir novel....#so much things i want to do#yet so little time (next sem is starting in 2 weeks)
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(i haven't read Whole Cake in a while, and i never really watched it, so bear with me)
I'd love to write a fic with Usopp on Whole Cake. it'd be sooo fucking long and i'd need to refresh myself on the entire arc, but god i'd probably be so satisfied when it's done. specifically for having brought a single moment in my head to life, but we'll get to that.
On Zou, he insists to be taken along on the Sanji rescue team and has worked himself up with a whole bunch of very good reasons as to why he should go there instead of helping in Wano, but of course Luffy just immediately accepts with a "yeah sure"
With Whole Cake, I think he'd be flipping between having fun as part of the idiot trio/quartet (Luffy, Chopper, Carrot), and being terrified with Nami. There wouldn't be that many differences in the arc as a whole, though; some things would be easier/better and some things would be worse- I don't necessarily think Usopp's presence would be overall an advantage or disadvantage, just different. Like, major events would stay mostly the same, but little details would change and maybe those little details would build to a far more drastic change-
for example, maybe one of Big Mom's kids considers themself a great sniper and wants a match with Usopp, or is motivated to work harder because Usopp is around and they want to take him out and boast about it. Maybe it means Sunny takes more damage than canon, or maybe Usopp's help means less damage to Sunny. (idk if i'd really do smth like this, but it's just an example)
skjdhf fuck i'm really not equipped to try and figure this out when i don't remember shit from Whole Cake aaaa
I do know that, despite his penchant for talking and rambling, I'd probably have Usopp be dead silent after his initial shock when Sanji fights Luffy. Everything about that is the same, except Usopp is just watching Sanji the whole time- not panicking, not moving, and not speaking. He doesn't say a word the entire time, doesn't even make a sound, and that, along with Luffy's words and Nami's begging, stick with Sanji.
(Usopp is thinking of his own fight with Luffy in Water 7, he's partially wondering if this was what it was like- if it was this painful to watch from the sidelines- and partially knowing he doesn't have to say a word, because he knew, like he knew back then, that it didn't matter what was said. It wasn't quite the same, but he could tell in the way Sanji moved, in the way he spoke and held himself, that he was putting on a front, trying to be brave in all the wrong ways. Usopp didn't say a word to Sanji because there was nothing he could say that Sanji himself didn't already know. Should've known. And his quiet, direct stare, was more than enough.)
the singular moment i really wanna write, is a scene where Sanji is apologizing for dragging them into his mess- either during the big meeting in Bege's castle or some other time- and Usopp's like "I'll do what you can't, you do what I can't, right?" and Sanji pauses, a little confused, until he remembers Enies Lobby and a stupid mask and cape and-
and tears are gathering in his eyes now, fuck, but he laughs a little. It sounds wet and his face is itchy and they're surrounded by tentative allies, but he- he laughs again and he says, "Fuck, you remembered that?"
Usopp shrugs, a little smile on his face. "They were some wise words from a wise man."
Sanji laughs a third time. "You think I'm wise?"
And they banter a little more before Bege tells them to quit it since they're on a time constraint or something. Quietly, Usopp will ask, "It-it helps. On bad days. And I figured, 'what's a worse day than this?' Ah, not that you getting married would ever be bad per se-"
"Usopp," Sanji says, looking more relaxed and settled. He smiles fondly and grabs his friend in a one armed hug, crushing him to his side. "Thanks."
And yeah, don't remember much beyond that, except the whole "hiding and then busting out of the cake" bit, which would mean Usopp in a cute little tuxedo or smth- maybe with a fedora aaaaaa <- loves fedoras- helping out with the fighting and eventually sailing with everyone to Wano.
He would be so distressed about fixing up Sunny now that the whole thing with Whole Cake is over. Maybe there'd be a gag about him promising Franky to take good care of Sunny while they were gone and being confident, after being Franky's tinkering partner and learning from him over time, that he could handle minor repair work much better than he did the first time around with Merry. And so when he finally takes in all the very-not-minor repairs he has to do, he's certain Franky is gonna strangle him for not keeping his promise. Probably also try to write in some nostalgic 'repairman Usopp' vibes from pre-Water 7.
Also something something, Sanji, wanting to do more for the crew bc he still feels guilty about Whole Cake, decides to take it upon himself to help Usopp not fall into a whole anxiety spiral about the ship. In turn, Usopp ends up helping Sanji not feel so guilty- usually by handing his own words back to him on a silver platter. And, yknow, having the two of them bonding and being buddies again like they so rarely get to be in canon nowadays qwq
#one piece#usopp#whole cake island#nemotime#that bit in bege's castle isn't exactly how it would go. just kinda. trying to get the vibe. also it's wayyy too short lol#the sanuso bit can be platonic or romantic. originally when i was gonna write out this idea a while ago i was thinking romantic with my#'they get engaged/married b4 dressrosa' au but tbh platonic works just as good#im- these guys man. i hate them so much (affectionate)#i'll get to rereading whole cake and finding a way to put him in there but for now. this.#if anyone's got other ideas im all ears#edit from like march 7: thinking about this again#maybe usopp being silent is an indicator for sanji that usopp's really fucking disappointed or shocked or w/e#but for usopp himself it's like being back in water 7. he doesn't even mean to be silent. he's got words built up on the tip of his tongue#but none of them come out. and despite sanji being Right There all he wants to do in that moment. is run.#at the very least he stays and watches the whole confrontation through. but afterwards he probably feels like shit#because he's the guy who's great with words right? he's the guy that can relate the most out of the group who went to WCI. he should be abl#to make a significant difference and help convince sanji to come home. but he feels like he failed. like he's going to lose another friend#and it's going to be all his fault. (again)#[not really. we all know merry wasn't his fault but we love old insecurities rearing their head in this house]#later he'd probably end up saying the words he wanted to say. and maybe it's better that way. that he ended up waiting#until luffy's had a proper shot at scolding sanji first. because then usopp can act as support and reinforcement. which. yknow.#a sniper's duty and all#anyway i got other shit to do so i'm cutting myself off here#wci usopp
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