#I kept and keep hearing how I'll miss my teenage years but honestly I don't think I will

[godofthestupid]

I went from having to eat the same two bland meals every day for most of my childhood and teenage years to eating a different healthy meal every day which I myself cooked

adult life may be difficult but I'd be damned if I didn't enjoy it

[lightsorigins]

An inefficient world

03 Marckabeth 2010

3:42 pm, Mysticiën,

Lausya, Estery High School

 Squeezed into an uncomfortable wooden chair, Sarasvatî had her arms folded. She had been staring at Madame Bigot, her biology teacher, for a few minutes. After having finished her tirade on a part of the course, this last one also observed Sara during a few seconds. The setting sun was illuminating her short jet hair and her strong gaze. She was imperturbable, yet everything about her indicated a latent irritation.

- Sarasvatî, do you have something to add?

 She sighed at length before answering.

- You send me sorry, but you can't understand anything in a class where you get lost in so many details.

- These details are in Sara's program. If you work harder, you'll understand more.

 At the agreement of his words, his gaze caught fire.

- That I work more? Me? In this room, I'm sure that no one understood a word of what you've just explained. You start to talk to us about how Anima and Menha work, and then you digress about your theories about the most powerful elements to bring down the Anima of our opponents, even though we are not even atmologists. It had nothing to do with the beginning of the session, and we haven't even been given a lecture on the primary elements yet!

- Sara...

- Don't expect me to believe that your assumptions about how things work are part of the program. Everyone here knows that you were not a high school teacher last year.

 Madame Bigot was a red-headed meïlith with very light blue skin. Her big green eyes opened more and more to Sara's insolence. Discreet and kind, she had indeed shown for some sessions difficulties in giving her course in a sufficiently clear manner. Suddenly, she gave a big blow on her desk with the flat of her hand.

- Enough! You will bring me your notebook at the bell. I cannot accept such behavior in this room. Class representative or good student, I don't care!

- Instead, say that you are unable to accept reality and the criticisms that go against your ineffective methods," Sara replied before taking out her notebook and putting it at the end of the table.

- Pardon? exclaimed the professor.

- Nothing. Nothing that you wouldn't be able to hear.

      She was dying to make him swallow her tongue with an atmos. Something that would have made her feel like making a fool of herself in front of all those students, but Laura Bigot would be in big trouble with the Grand Council of Atmology if she did so. However, she could already see herself joining hands, forming a skillful circle and whispering "Totopo lu hodo". A wooden cocoon would then have formed around Sarasvatî, who would have had no choice but to keep quiet. The pupils would then have said to each other "It is not necessary to joke with Mrs. Bigot! ». She would have earned the respect she had hoped for, continued her course and shared her intelligent theories on the functioning of the elements. Yet, instead...

- What's up? Are you going to take this notebook, yes or no? Instead of standing stupidly in front of me staring at me.

- Leave this room immediately Sara. You will have a report that you will remember for a long time. I would have liked to talk with you calmly, but it is obviously not possible.

- Anyway, it's going to ring. I would have liked to avoid this with you, but it seems to me that we have already talked about this problem. I won't be able to get a higher education with your damn theories. You simply have no right to do that. I'll talk to the director about it tomorrow. I'll see you soon.

       Madame Bigot kept talking, but Sara had already moved on. Then the bell rang. It was an unpleasant, strident, repetitive sound that she had never enjoyed hearing. She grabbed her black leather jacket and put it over her long sky-blue dress. Grabbing her bag, she walked towards the exit, expressionless. Her step was heavy, fast and sure. She didn't greet anyone and stopped at the door. Once in the hallway, Sara stretched out her arm and let her diamond shûmberr skin handbag dangle nimbly from her fingertips. Staring down at the large alley, a long sigh of impatience escaped from between her lips. Suddenly, a young sygreliad with long blond hair rushed towards her and grabbed her bag.

- Sorry Sara, I hadn't finished writing everything down. Damn, your bag is heavy today, what did you put in it?

- It's the weight of Madame Bigot's bullshit, did you see how it weighs?

  Annabelle smiled an embarrassed smile at him. Sara mimicked her expression by mimicking a despicable nonsense before continuing.

- Where's Marvin? Is he going to suck up to miss bullshit, or is he going to show up?

  A large wazardin with a tousled coat ran out of the room, jostling Sara and Annabelle as they passed by. He stumbled a few seconds later, knocking over all of his comrade's things in the hallway. His ruby eyes were lost in Sara's, who stared at him without blinking.

- Ah shit, I thought you two had left," he said, laughing and nervously scratching his head.

- Marvin, I think I'm going to destroy you and your whole family," Sara said dryly.

- But you still intend to continue to help me with the merçembuth history presentation?

- Maybe, if you pick up everything you just spilled in less than thirty seconds. After that time, I might purposely insert errors in your homework and insult the teachers to get you kicked out of school.

  Marvin swallowed his saliva and picked it all up, helped by Annabelle, who then picked up Sara's purse. They continued on their way out of the school. Snow was falling in large flakes on Lausya. It was a venckelbuth of the month of jalestar. This year's system was particularly cold. Every day, Sarasvatî, Annabelle and Marvin came home from school together because their homes were on the same road. Since middle school, the three teenagers had spent a lot of time together working on subjects in which they were struggling. Despite her bullying attitude, Sara knew she needed Annabelle's help in math. In return, she would help them out when they had arguments with other students, but also in other subjects where Annabelle and Marvin were not performing as well as she did.

- It took exactly twenty-four seconds to pick up everything," says Annabelle. That's it, you're saved for your homework Marvin!

- No, because you helped him so it doesn't count. So I'm not going to help you, too," Sara replied.

  Annabelle's face decomposed. The young sygreliad gradually slowed down her walk, when Sara suddenly ripped her purse from her hands.

- Oh, but we can't even laugh anymore? It's not possible that! I'll help you anyway, I'm not a monster ! We've known each other for a long time, seriously. You're the only two people I accept to talk to, stop being afraid like that for a little bit, otherwise I won't hang out with you anymore. 

- You'll have to excuse me Sara, but considering how mad you were at Madame Bigot earlier, it doesn't make you want to be more upset than that.

- You have nothing to do with it, I wouldn't be stupid enough to make you pay for miss bigou's incompetence. And what do you think of what I said to her? Did you understand what she was talking about?

- I don't know," Annabelle hesitated. I was interested in her ideas, but she did talk fast. Anyway, it wasn't going to last long. Do you really think that letting her talk a little bit about it from time to time is so bad?

- The problem is there, and you both need to think about it too. Like me, you would like to become good atmologists later on, wouldn't you? Imagine letting all of our teachers knock us out with their unproven hypotheses for five to ten minutes per hour-long class. Imagine, in total, how much time we will have wasted! That would mean that...

  Marvin grabs her by the arm and pulls her onto the road. Sara was so carried away by his explanation that she hadn't seen that it was time to cross.

- That would mean a lot of time would be lost," he added calmly. I know, it's okay. But only Madame Bigot does that. She is new, you said it yourself, and despite that she is still a good teacher!

  Sara stared at him before raising her eyes to the sky.

- How much did you get at his last checkup, Marvin? Honestly?

- I got 8 out of 20, and you know very well that I usually get half in organic classes!

- Marvin, you got 8 and I got 10, whereas in bio I normally go out with at least 16. She's not a good teacher. And I need a record that is relevant to my entry into the top universities in Mysticiën. I have tried to be patient, I have already talked to her about the situation but the very next day she does the same thing to me. I wish she had at least been honest and told me clearly that she would continue to do as she pleased.

- And if she had said that, are you sure you wouldn't have done something, like spilling all her stuff on the floor or yelling at her that she's just incompetent?

  Sara slowed down her walk slightly and began to contemplate the sky for a few seconds as a sign of reflection. Suddenly, her gaze returned to Annabelle.

- Yeah, you have a point. Are we still on for math tomorrow at 4:00?

- Yes, I have notified my parents. I leave you here, see you tomorrow!

  She walked away discreetly. Sara and Marvin watched the silhouette in the small white coat disappear in the distance towards the east of the city, rubbing her arms against herself to warm up before she could go home. Marvin patted Sara on the back before bursting into laughter.

- Hey, Marvin. Really, I'm going to end up killing you if you touch me a third time.

- You're not cool to make Annabelle carry your bag like that! Look how tiny and cute she is in her coat, she still looks like a little girl.

  They went the other way before Sara continued.

- I took advantage of this before she became a school principal. She will eat us all if we don't dominate her first. Look at her, with her little feet and her nice attitudes. She's hiding an evil genius, that's for sure.

- Aren't you projecting your own attitudes onto her?

- No. And you want to carry my bag instead maybe?

- I can't promise I'll never drop it if you let me do it, but we can always try, I guess.

  At the agreement of her words, she jumped up and down to try to slap him on the back of the head. Marvin ducked, and the two teenagers began to chase each other around town. The discussion turned into a brief snowball fight, won by Sarasvatî. In their bickering, they had reached Marvin's family home, which was still lying on the ground. Before he got up, Sara approached him with a huge amount of snow in her arms.

- What do you have to say for yourself, Mr. Notorious Criminal? she asked comically.

      Marvin concentrated with all his strength and a pink glow covered him. Sara frowned, wondering what idiocy he was up to. A few seconds later, he had taken on the appearance of Sara herself.

- Nothing. Nothing that you wouldn't be able to hear. "He replied seriously and solemnly, to imitate Sara's phrase when she had argued with their teacher.

  When she understood, she covered her face with snow and started kicking him. Marvin laughed and laughed for a good five minutes before getting up and returning to his original shape.

- Wazardins, you are really dangerous people. I hope you don't take my appearance to do anything in front of others.

- Given the sanctions that await me if I do that, it's better that I avoid. Well, I'm out of here. Get home safe, and don't kill your brother if he's done something stupid, okay?

- Yeah, yeah. See you tomorrow.

      Sara's home was a few dozen meters from here. All she had to do was cross a few roads, turn a couple of blocks, and she would find the park and then the building where she lived with her brother and mother. As she continued on her way silently, Sara got lost in her thoughts. She was still organizing her future, already imagining herself in a prestigious university, studying atmology as a Creator. The Creators combine the energies of Fire and Plants to fight and explore the world. What seduced Sara in this atmological discipline was the possibility of giving life to living creatures to fight at her side. Federating a team that she would have made entirely with her own hands... nothing could make her dream stronger.

    Suddenly, as she was walking at a brisk pace, her foot stumbled on a thick piece of carjaline, in the middle of a park that she travels home through every day. Intrigued, she stopped to observe it more closely. The thick black debris reflected an intense glow. She recognized the fragments of black tourmaline, through which the last rays of the sun were seeping, then she sighed at length. It was a mechanical arm, and Sara knew exactly where it came from.

- I guess it's not ironic to have one intervention a year since high school by the Guild of Renovators, while the mayor himself leaves his pieces of inventions lying around anywhere...

      She gave a huge kick to the robot arm. The noise resonated through the entire alloy. Sara looked a little further and recognized a hand also made of carjaline. Ecology was a cause that was close to her heart, also because she had become aware early on of the harmful effects that occur when no one pays attention to it. As she walked along the road again, she plunged into her memories. Many alloys and castings like these were not so easily recycled, and ended up impacting not only the fauna and flora, but also the people of Lausanne. As

    far back as she can remember, Oscar Fanghël, the mayor of Lausya, has always considered the town as an experimental field of choice to test his prototypes. No one ever really knew what he was creating so many of them for. No one ever knew why he did not stop despite the numerous requests of the people of Lausya, and even worse: no one ever knew why the GCA (Great Council of Atmosphology), or even the GCM (Great Council of Martial Arts), had never acted in the face of this problem. Still, some members of the Guilde des Rénovateurs came to the aid of the lausois, but with great discretion.

      Sara suspected well-disguised political shenanigans. She and other lausois knew that the ancestry of the Fanghël family was highly respected, had a long arm and could quickly come to grips with any opponent. This disturbing prospect probably kept many people silent. She swore to herself, however, that when she became powerful enough, Sara would make Oscar eat all his prototypes one after the other. She hoped that Annabelle, Marvin and her other friends would join her cause and that one day this city, and others suffering similar injustices, would become more effectively managed.

    She finally reached the square in her neighbourhood: a poorly maintained place, decorated with a few benches and children's games, half of which had been seriously damaged. Buildings rose up around her, as if they were contemplating her with all the coldness of the system. A cold draught suddenly woke her up, awakening a wave of shivers that ran down her spine. She clenched her teeth, cursed and started looking for her keys in her bag before reaching the entrance hall. Then a strange smell tickled her nostrils. She knew that smell well.

- Nanthilia? Seriously, some guys start smoking this early in the day?

      The fragrance was far too close for Sara to resist knowing who, in this neighborhood she knew on the tip of her fingers, was having fun rolling nanthilia joints. The local youth - and the youth from elsewhere - loved it for the fun and soothing psychic effects it provides. Sara then discreetly walked around the large building to the right, surreptitiously walked along the wall and bent down to see if there were people further away. She heard laughter, including one she could recognize from among a thousand. A group of four young boys sat on a bench at the back of the building and laughed loudly. She approached them discreetly. From then on, only a few centimeters separated her from the boys.

      One of them turned around and fell face to face with Sara. With a hiccup of surprise, he jumped up and tripped his butt first on the field of grass. She still had her arms folded and that imperturbable expression that described her so well.

- Oh damn it! cried the young man who had just fallen. Why didn't you say you were there, Sara?

      She didn't answer, then looked at another boy in the group. He was shorter than the others, had a black hair in a battle, big black eyes, and wore a red flannel shirt with white checks. He was the one with the nanthilia joint in his hands. His eyes were red with fatigue. When Sara saw the joint between her fingers, she raised her eyebrows without taking her eyes off it. The young man did not blink.

- Name of a kannidus, Sara. Do you want to become a cop for the GCs now or what's it like? You can shove your witchy eyes up your ass.

- Are you kidding me, Kieran? she replied.

      Sara moved towards him to rip the joint out of his hands, but in response, he backed away. She grabbed him by the arm and eventually ripped it off, threw it to the ground, and crushed it vigorously with the tip of her foot.

- We had an agreement between the two of us. You had to behave better and make an effort because I warned you about the consequences of this thing, and I find you three days later smoking with three idiots from the neighbourhood?

- Oh eh, that's good," replied one of them, ready to defend his cause.

      Feeling the anger rising, Sara turned to them as if to forbid them to dare to speak again. The boys preferred to stay there and walk away, stunned by the effects of the nanthilia. Sara began to feel tired and disappointed. She didn't take her eyes off Kieran, who, on the other hand, was very angry.

- You're really annoying when you get into it. I've already told you that this situation is my business! Why don't you want to get off my back, don't you have classes to study or whatever else you need to do in your corner with your nerdy friends?

      For the umpteenth time today, she sighed.

- We're talking about your future Kieran, I'm not doing this just to annoy you. I'm your sister, it's my job to warn you about the effects of these things! Do you realize that mercenaries and explorers use this to cause psychic disturbances on their opponents? Do you think it's normal to blow your head off with it?

- Yes! because it's my skull and I do what I want with it! I don't want to do mega-studies like you, me.

      She remained silent as Kieran assailed her with all her favorite phrases to express her desire for independence and freedom. Her tirades continued for minutes on end. In the hall, in the elevator, and until they entered the apartment. He slammed the front door with all his might.

- If you're going to sneak up on me like that all the time, I'm just going to end up breaking into someone else's house without telling anyone! I'm tired of having you on my ass, you understand that? You're pissing me off!

- You're not doing what you want here Kieran," she shouted back. You're fourteen years old, you're a minor, you don't have to make these kinds of decisions, let alone talk to me like that! And if you want to run away, I'm going to find you whether you like it or not!

      This time it was the door to Kieran's room that slammed. A few seconds later, he launched a hard rock song at maximum volume. Sara was about to tell him to turn it down, but when she put her hand on the latch, she heard him turn the key in the lock. She put her hands to her hair and growled in irritation before going into the kitchen. The room was dirty, dimly lit with a light that Sara often described as "too white. Tired from work, her mother Naska didn't always have time to clean the apartment. Kieran would never get down to it, and Sara was far too busy working on her lessons.Putting her purse on the floor, she abruptly pulled out one of the chairs and dropped herself on it, taking her head in her hands and closing her eyes. A warm smell of boiled yone permeated the room. Naska, was cooking. Sara hated boiled food. It was the worst day she could have hoped for.

- Then my dear, why did your brother go to his room? Why are you still arguing? she asked softly.

- I've already come out of a class given by a poor incompetent and when I get downstairs, I find him smoking nanthilia with a bunch of jerks from the neighborhood. I had spoken with him not even a week ago, he told me that he understood and that he was going to make an effort, and look what he's doing!

- Don't be hard on your brother, honey.

- But how can I not be hard on him when he literally doesn't care about the world?

- You know that the situation is not easy for Kié. He needs time to act, and he's a young boy. Give him some time.

- If I'm the only one trying to be a little firmer with him, frankly, it's not going to help him. At some point you're going to have to do something serious. Let me remind you that I'm the one who pays for the private lessons that Amaëlle gives him! I work two days a week to help with homework for those in difficulty, but also to pay for her lessons! It's not by getting high on nanthilia every night that he's likely to learn things and use his memory well. I don't want to do that for nothing, it also impacts me, you understand?

      Naska marked a time of silence. Busy with her dish, she grabbed a bowl of spices and poured a tiny part of it into the broth she was preparing. She then drained the fragrant rice before continuing.

- You should relax a little bit Sara. I know you do a lot, but you could ask Amaelle for an advance for the classes.

- No. I'm not going to do that. I just want Kieran to get to work.

- Be patient, there is no reason to get into all these states. You must not push him to leave the house. I will be sad if something happens to him.

- I am already patient. All the time. And so am I...

      Sara felt that no matter what she might say, her mother would remain relaxed, or at least pretend to. Between the loud music played in her brother's room, the smell of boiled yone that was going to make her nauseous, and that incarnation with Madame Bigot earlier, she began to think that spending the evening here would be a bad idea. So she went to her room and made a call to Marvin.

- Hello Mrs. Solenelle?" he answered.

- Marvin, can I come to your house tonight?

- It depends on what for. Like, if it's for the presentation, I'm okay with it.

- Do you have fresh choums? Do you still have your two controllers to play with? Do you have an interesting topic of discussion in mind?

- Wow, we have a real program here, don't we?

- Yes or no?

- Yeah, yeah, it's quiet. Are you sure you're okay, Sara?

- I'll be there in five minutes. I'm sleeping at your place.

- Well, okay. I'll see you in a minute.

[existentialstatesofmind]

Opening Up

Clare: couldn’t imagine living with so many people. Sure she got lonely because her parents were too busy fighting to pay as much attention to her as they used to. But she didn’t wish she had more siblings. She just wanted Darcy to come home so she wouldn’t have to go through ‘the divorce’ alone. She smiled at Kota. He was here for her and that’s all she needed from him. Clare always felt a little better when she got these things off her chest. Of course it was really her family who needed to hear her out. All she could do was keep trying. “You’ve got it. Oh god, can you imagine? Ten years from now.” She chuckled. “You want to belong there. Be apart of everything. As long as you’re happy, I wouldn’t want you to leave anyway. I’d miss you at school.” She kissed his cheek. “It probably is. I don’t think most people trust their kids to watch each other. Or use the stove.” Clare nodded. She wasn’t sure if Darcy had an extended visa or what. Traveling overseas was completely new to her. Clare would be using an (expedited) passport for the first time on this trip. She tried not to think about the long flight and all the security checkpoints they’d have to go through because it made her nervous. “So teenagers in Japan have a lot more responsibility. Maybe freedom too?” Clare concluded. “I’m looking forward to that part myself.” They’d still have adults to answer to but no one was going to come up with as many crazy rules as her mom. “Yeah. I know. Hopefully we won’t spend the whole semester feeling lost.” She shrugged. “Fine with me. I don’t want to make enemies. I’ll also wear a press pass around my neck so they’re less likely to get the wrong idea. I kinda know why Yohio has fans but what’s the deal with Yamanishi?” She asked curiously. Clare didn’t want to be out of the loop. If his fan girls were going to be jealous of her just for talking to him she should know why. “Marilyn was so talented! It's such a shame people forget what she was famous for in the first place, acting. I love classic movies.” Clare gushed, pleased she’d had at least one thing in common with Makayla. “Of course I’m more of a Audrey Hepburn type.” She admitted, laughing at the idea of anyone comparing her to Marilyn Monroe. “At ten, I think my main hobby was playing barbies. Well besides reading.” Which was why it was hard to think of anything else to ask. She’d changed so much and Makayla would’ve too. Clare bit her lip. “No it’s not fun to be sick.” She muttered. Her whole face lit up and she returned the kiss. “I love you too. That’s the first time we said the words to each other you know. I never said them to a boy before.” She whispered leaning back against Kota and entwining her fingers with his. She was a lot more comfortable sitting on Kota’s lap now than she’d been at first. “I don’t know much longer we should stay.” Clare added nodding towards Jill.

Kota: smiled when Clare kissed his cheek. "I'd miss you too." he spoke. "In Japan most girls are taught to cook young, though some refuse and learn later. Those that cook young are mainly the ones that babysit young. If your family has a restaurant or cafe in Japan it's run by the family from ages 6 and up, though they have small jobs and choose what they want to do. If you start to get bad grades while holding a job, you're forced to quit. As for freedom, students are only able to work Saturday after school, all day Sunday, and days they're off school such as winter vacation. They only get more freedom if they don't have a job. Which reminds me we'll be ahead of everyone when we get back." he explained and listened to her when she mentioned getting lost. "You won't. I know the halls there having wondered around them before looking for Yohio when I was there last summer." he explained. "Well it was our summer.." he trailed off. "Crap, I keep calling us third years when we'll only be second years in Japan. Their High School life is only three years grades 10-12. I'll have two managers in Kendo Club this year since the new manager will be leaving second semester next year." he explained to her. "Also in Japan you don't eat in the cafeteria, you eat in your homeroom unless you're me and I eat on the roof and the entire school goes to lunch at the same time which is 1pm. On Mondays we have no after noon classes because we have an hour long homeroom rather than a five minute homeroom. And our classes change in March based on how you did on your midterm, I'm going to take the midterm, but for you it's optional and you have a class with Eli, Alli, and everyone since I'm going to World History, you will also have music with them while I go to calligraphy." he added and chuckled when she mentioned wearing a press pass. "Sorry, but they won't know what that is. There are no school papers in Japan and suggesting one is futile because the clubs are only an hour long and third years leave their clubs in the first or second week of the school year." he said honestly. "Yamamishi has a fan club strictly because he's the school president. School presidents are determined by entrance exams, the student that has the highest school upon entering is made the school president which is the highest honor in school. He has no club activities other than student council, he has the final decision on what's happening in Cultural Festival and Sports Festival, as well as the same duties school presidents have here only if Yamamishi's grades drop he loses the title and the vice president takes over." he said and rubbed the back of his head. "I was told I also have a fan club in Japan by a friend, though my fan club isn't as bad as Yohio's. Said friend already told everyone I have a girlfriend so once I enter the school gates with you and let everyone know you're my girlfriend, girls will leave you alone simply because I'll know if they do something and if anyone in the fan club upsets me, the whole club turns against them. It's like that with all fan clubs in schools." he let out knowing he had to tell her before she found out from someone else. "Audrey was Makayla's second favorite." he chuckled. "I can't tell you if she played Barbies or not because I never saw them. If she did she hid them really well when I came over." he shrugged and listened to Clare. The moment she mentioned it was their first time exchanging I love you's he covered his face with his hands so Clare couldn't see him blush. "I'm happy I said that and that you love me back, but I wasn't thinking when I said it." he exclaimed as he kept his hands over his face. "You're the first girl I said those words to as well." he nodded as he kept his hands over his face for a few more moments when Clare mentioned Jill. "We can leave if you want." he said and Jill looked at him. "Can you sing my favorite part of Bombs on Monday?" she asked softly and Kota moved Clare so she was in between his legs and his arms were wrapped around her middle. "That's too depressing plus I don't want it to hit too close to home for Clare so I'll sing a different part." he assured and pulled Clare closer to him. "Eyes like hazel twinkle in the starlight even when they're crying even when they're crying. Constellations forming out of scar lines even when they're dying love will still be trying." he sang and hummed the tune to help her sleep. "Ready to go?" he asked.