#I just wish it hadn't just decided to ignore everything it built up over the last couple years | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

julieverne · 1 year ago

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Yourself (or someone like you)

Long Day

It's sitting by the overcoat

Jane looked over at the overcoat hanging on the back of her front door. She avoided looking at it because next to it was

The second shelf, the note she wrote

The note, sitting on the shelf. Maura had handed it to her so long ago that she didn't even know if it was still relevant, but as long as she ignored it, never acknowledged it, she could pretend it was.

It had been not long after Jane took that header off the bridge, and Maura had already been hurt - by Jane being shot, by the loss of Jane's baby - but she'd been devastated after that in a way Jane hadn't seen before. Even finding out about her dark roots hadn't changed Maura like this. She'd known when she said she hadn't thought about Maura when she'd jumped that she'd hurt her. She'd seen it on Maura's face. And nothing she'd said had made Maura less hurt.

And the note was all mixed up with that hurt, the way Jane had made Maura feel insufficient. Maura had always felt like she wasn't good enough, but the reality was that Jane wasn't good enough for her. Maura deserved someone who thought about her all the time, especially before deciding to do something potentially life-threatening. And Jane wasn't that person, could never be that person, and the note was Maura finally realising that she'd built her life around the wrong person. That she wasn't waiting for Jane any more.

And while Jane didn't want to admit it, that hurt. She'd never knowingly - she'd never wanted - but she had. Deep down, too deep for her to admit, she loved Maura. Not just as her nerdy colleague, not just as her awkward, generous best friend. She loved Maura in the way she'd never loved Casey or Dean. She'd give up her career, if Maura asked. She'd be a kept woman, a housewife. A mother.

She'd always wanted a wife. And once she met Maura, she'd always kind of wished she could marry her. She wanted to be Maura's wife, she wanted Maura to be her wife. They spent so much time together that it almost felt like they were married.

But they weren't, and given that note, they never would be.

They'd never dated each other, so it shouldn't feel like a break up. But Jane was here alone in her tiny apartment, without even the company of her Jo Friday, and Maura was in her own Beacon Hill home with Jane's mother. And they were probably discussing Jane's most recent reckless behaviour, and Maura, despite everything, would still be hurt.

Jane rubbed her face, barely noting that her hand came away wet. She never minded putting her life in danger. Without Maura, her life had no value. If she'd been honest with herself sooner, maybe she could have - maybe Maura would have -

But now all Jane had left was a note on her shelf, listing everything she'd lost.

That I can't bring myself to throw away

Still, Jane left it where it was. Knowing that Maura would never come over again. Knowing Maura would never see it. Maura never came here any more. And Jane liked to hurt herself. It was why she went into dangerous situations without backup. It was why she lived alone, even after Hoyt took her hands from her. It was why she punished herself. She shouldn't feel this way. Not for a woman. Not for Maura. But nothing she'd tried had stopped her wanting Maura, had stopped her thinking of her.

And without the note there to remind her, she'd forget.

That Maura had been waiting for her to come to terms with their relationship, their entwined lives. The way they slept together on opposite sides of the bed, Maura so chaste and wholesome as she slept with a sweet smile on her face while Jane watched her, consumed with fear and wonder, never brave enough to broach the breach.

Jane had squandered every last chance Maura had given her. And she couldn't blame Maura for that; she'd been more than patient with Jane, waiting for her to come around on her own. And Jane hadn't, until the note, which reprimanded her every time her eyes landed on it.

She let out a breath, tearing her eyes away. The game was on, but she wasn't following it. She could go down to the bar, watch it there. Being alone in a crowd would feel better than this. She snagged her overcoat and headed out.

And reach she said for no one else but you

Jane nearly turned to leave when she saw Maura there with Frankie and Nina and Angela - off duty - and Korsak. She had been invited, Frankie had mentioned he was going down to the robber for the game, but she hadn't known Maura would be there.

She looked at ease, the way she hadn't lately. She looked comfortable with Jane's family in a way she no longer was with Jane. It was okay, though. Because Maura had earned her place in their lives. She was so supportive and genuine and generous and gorgeous. It was no wonder everyone loved her. It was no wonder Jane loved her.

Jane's breath caught at the realisation. She'd always known, of course. Down in that deep down that wanted to marry Maura, the deep down that almost slipped out when she asked Maura to take her kid if anything happened to her. Maura looked up before Jane could catch her breath, and such a look of anguish crossed Maura's face that Jane stumbled, even as Maura reached out her hand across the room, too far away to help, too far away to touch her, but Jane was branded by that look, that accusation and she fell back against the door behind her, fumbling with the handle and slamming it into herself, unable to look away from Maura even as her hand retreated to cover her mouth.

The door closed between them.

'cause you won't turn away when someone else is gone

Jane shoved her hands in her pockets. She should've brought her gloves. She always forget how much more sensitive her scars were to the cold air, how it made the ache in her hands turn to fire. She walked quickly, even though she didn't expect Maura to follow her. No one else had seen her come in. Well, she wasn't sure of that, because she hadn't been able to look away from Maura. She saw her every day, but she didn't smile like that. Not with Jane, not any more.

Maura looked happier without her. It consoled Jane a little, made her feel better. If she'd addressed what Maura had written, she'd have fallen apart, and she was clinging onto the last of what held her together. She was surviving. It was cold and harsh, her walk home, her life without Maura. But it kept Maura safe. It kept her with enough deniable plausibility that no one would ever suspect that Jane had once loved Maura so fiercely that she'd killed the man that still plagued her nightmares.

He had Maura, in these nightmares. Even Hoyt had known what Maura meant to Jane. No one knew, now. No one could suspect it. Maura could be safe, now she'd rejected Jane, as though Jane had ever worded a question. Jane wiped her dripping nose with the back of her hand as she entered the condo's vestibule, surprised when the door didn't close behind her when she pushed it, even more surprised when Maura pushed it open, closing it behind them both.

"Jane," Maura started, but Jane shrugged and looked away, not heading for the stairs. "I know Frankie invited you. We need to arrange -"

"What, shared custody of my family?" Jane spat out, instantly regretting it

I'm sorry 'bout the attitude I need to give when I'm with you

Maura's face hardened again, and Jane hadn't realised how open it had looked before. She wasn't used to Maura looking at her softly any more, and it hurt now that she'd made the softness go away again.

"Sorry," Jane said, her voice low and as gentle as she could manage. "Sorry. I was just - just trying not to think about you, and there you were."

"With your family," Maura said curtly, clearly still hurt. Jane sighed, shifting from foot to foot. She really didn't want to invite Maura up. She didn't trust herself. At least here in the common area of the building they might be interrupted and Maura might leave without saying what she so obviously wanted to say.

"They're your family too," Jane admitted, her voice hushed. "Even if I'm not any more. Even if you can't bring yourself to - do you want to come up? I have - I have that tea you like."

Maura's face brightened, and Jane hated how it lifted her own heart. She shouldn't. She would only hurt them both more. Maura nodded, a shy smile on her face. "Not - not the panda one. You know I can't afford that. The matcha one."

Maura nodded again, and Jane climbed up to her condo, hearing the familiar clip of Maura's heels behind her.

But no one else will take this shit from me

Jane found her hands trembling when she tried to open the door, and Maura's hands covered hers to take the key, to open the door herself.

"Gloves," Maura admonished Jane, not unkindly. Jane slung her overcoat on the rack rather than the door, avoiding the shelf there entirely. Maura followed suit, sitting herself on a stool at the kitchen counter as though she'd never left. She rested her chin in her hand, the other playing with the worn Formica of the counter. How could Jane have ever assumed she was enough for Maura? Maura's dress alone was worth more than the fittings in Jane's entire condo.

And she'd tried to turn Maura away from her with all her snark and attitude and unkind little digs for years, any time Maura got too close Jane would dig in harder, trying to put space between them. And Maura just... took it. Like she expected it from Jane. Like she knew it was a protective shell Jane raised to try to keep herself safe from her own emotions, let alone Maura's. It had just made Maura softer and more understanding. It had just made it hurt more when Maura realised Jane didn't think of her in times of trouble.

Maura couldn't lie. Jane could. And she'd thought about Maura, behind her on the bridge. The woman she'd already let down so many times, the woman she kept putting in danger. Hoyt, the Doyle shootout. Jane was unfit to be anyone in Maura's life if she wasn't able to protect her. If she kept putting her in danger.

So she'd jumped. Maura couldn't be in danger if Jane wasn't there to put her in it.

And she'd survived, somehow. But their friendship hadn't when Jane had told Maura she didn't think of her, when in reality all she thought of was Maura, Maura, Maura. Like a song on repeat. Every time Maura touched her, Jane made a mental note, remembered the shy smiles Maura gave her, remembered how soundly Maura slept beside her, like she was finally safe when she had Jane to watch over her.

Maura had completely trusted Jane. She probably still did, with everything but her heart. The kettle boiled, the whistle startling Jane, Maura's attention still turned to the counter. Jane made the tea the way she knew Maura liked it, and handed Maura the mug she preferred most out of all Jane's mugs, hating how much she anticipated the sweet smile that crept across Maura's face when she recognised it.

Maura sipped and looked around. Jane would be embarassed by the mess if she didn't know that Maura had seen her place looking worse. She'd cleaned the fridge recently, and the bathroom. Her place was clean but not tidy. She knew how Maura felt about germs and part of her cleaned in the vain hope that Maura might one day forgive her.

Maura set the mug on the counter. "Your family," she said again.

"You can have them," Jane said quickly. "They like you better, anyway."

Maura pinned Jane in place, mug almost to her lips - lips that looked plump and pink in the lights Jane turned on, the lamps rather than the overheads that washed Maura out, the lamp light doing Maura all sorts of favours, making her glow all copper and gold and everything precious about her came to the surface in the light of those lamps - and Jane shivered, drinking her own tea.

And I'm so terrified of no one else but me

"You always do this, Jane. You push people away, and then what? Punish yourself? Throw yourself off bridges, shoot yourself? What's so awful about having a conversation with me that makes you run away?"

"Me," Jane choked out. "Not you. Me. You're perfect. I'm - I'm not worth - you should go back. They're probably worried about you."

"They're worried about you," Maura said. "And frankly, so am I. You don't come over any more, you barely say a word to me at work. I think you've been trying to make it easier on me, but-"

"On you?" Jane snorted, looking away immediately. She fingered the scars on her hands, then wrapped them around her mug. She was so scared, so so scared that Maura was only here out of pity, out of whatever they used to have between them. She glanced over at the note, and Maura caught the look, followed it. She put her mug back on the counter and walked over to it. Jane had taken it from Maura's bin at work. She'd been watching through the window, trying to gauge if it was a good time to come in with her gift, but Maura had been crying and scribbling, then she'd violently torn the page from her notepad and scrunched it up, then thrown it in her wastepaper basket. After that, it had lived in Jane's pocket for a while. To remind her. To strengthen her resolve. It was crumpled, and she'd tried to lay it flat but it kept crinkling upwards. Maura plucked it from the shelf, reading it for the first time in months, years.

"This wasn't for you," Maura said, and she sounded angry; about as angry as Maura ever got. Jane wasn't scared of Maura, even when she was angry. She was scared of how she'd hurt Maura next.

"You weren't wrong, though." Jane was calm and passive. She'd given the note a lot of thought, and she knew Maura was right.

"I was hurt."

"Rightfully so."

"Jane, I didn't mean - I was just... confused and frustrated." Maura's fingers traced the words that Jane knew by heart.

'I shouldn't love Jane this much.'

"Is this why you've been so - because you thought I thought I loved you too much?"

"You do. You did," Jane corrected herself.

"And you - what, you decided the way I loved you was wrong? That it was -"

"You decided it was too much," Jane reminded her. "And you were right. I didn't deserve it. I don't deserve it."

I'm here all the time. I won't go away.

"That's not for you to decide," Maura said spitefully, so Jane went over and pointed out the words in Maura's own handwriting.

"I haven't been good to you. Not the way you deserve it. I spent so long scared you wouldn't, couldn't love me the way I couldn't admit I loved you. So it's better if neither of us does. I saw you tonight. You were happy. It's the first time I've seen you happy in months. You deserve to be happy, and you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy."

"You used to." Maura's voice was very small. "You used to be the only person who made me feel like - like I was real."

"And now you don't need me. You're a real boy, pinnochio." Jane couldn't keep the bitter edge from her voice, although she tried not to begrudge Maura her new life that wasn't reliant on Jane's codependency.

"And you're a real asshole, Jane." Maura rarely swore, so Jane took a step back. "Can you just not... not be so you for five minutes? Can you just listen to me?"

It's me, yeah well I can't get myself to go away

Jane bit down a response. She slumped on the couch, then curled forward to rest her face in her hands, rubbing her forehead in irritation.

"I can try," Jane said honestly.

Maura sat next to her, knees together even though her dress rode up a little. Pale, pale skin. Jane looked away.

"Have you been acting this way because I wrote that I love you, or was it because I wrote that I should love you less. Which one hurt you more?"

Jane shrugged and mumbled.

Hey, it's me, and I can't get myself to go away

"Jane?"

"Both. It felt like you were admitting what was going on between us, and then saying you didn't want it. And that's what I - in the water, when I was dragging him behind me for miles in the dark, I finally let myself admit that I'd rather jump off a bridge than tell you how I felt. And I knew I shouldn't feel that way about you, but I still wanted to tell you. Let you have the choice. And I saw you write this through the window of the door from the morgue and you walked away when I came back to shore and I knew I'd left it too late. To say anything would just hurt you, and I'd already done that over and over, and I don't want to do that any more. I'd rather see you happy with someone else than miserable with me."

Maura listened, considering, fiddling with the paper with her fingers.

"You're an idiot, Jane," Maura said finally, with no room left for argument. And Jane let the tiniest bit of hope spark up in her chest.

Oh god, I shouldn't feel this way now

"It's leagues, once you're in the water." Maura tone was merely educational, and Jane felt a fool for expecting anything more. At least she'd finally told Maura. At least it was off her chest now, after waiting so long. She should feel relieved, but all she felt was sad. She'd known it was over for so long now, known Maura had given up, given in. Known she'd waited too long, had left Maura waiting too long.

"How did you feel?" Maura asked, after the silence had dragged on. Their tea, abandoned on the counter, would be cold now. Jane looked at Maura, confused. How could Maura consider there was any other way Jane could feel?

"I shouldn't feel this way," Jane whispered, but she moved closer to Maura, who didn't flinch or move away like she sometimes had lately, careful to keep space between them, reaching for Jane too late or too far away to ever touch her. Maura looked up from the paper when Jane tilted her chin with her fingers, her eyes wide but not scared.

Jane was terrified, and she shouldn't feel this way. She shouldn't feel any of this, but this was the closest they had been for so long, and they were finally talking about it. Her heart was pounding, her face tilting toward Maura's without her compelling the movement. Maura's eyes were focussed on Jane's mouth. She might not ever get another chance. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against Maura's.

"I love you. I loved you, and I loved you too much, and I loved you the way you didn't want to love me. The way you don't want to love me. And I still love you, and I probably always will." Jane pulled back and saw Maura's tongue dart out anxiously to wet her lips. "But you don't want that, and I'm not - I'm not someone you should love. I don't put you first. I don't keep you safe."

Maura went to protest - there were times Jane had protected Maura, but they usually came because Jane had led Maura into danger - but Jane pressed her lips against Maura's open mouth and swallowed the argument. Jane pulled away first, feeling Maura's stiff body next to her on the couch, feeling Maura's confusion. Maura hadn't kissed back. Despite everything, Jane had been sure Maura would have taken the opportunity for a small, free kiss while they were talking about their emotions. She felt her heart sink even lower than it had been for so many months, felt her chest tight and uncomfortable, felt scared of what she'd done and how Maura would react to it.

"See?" Jane said, her voice shaking even as she tried to sound jocular. "I only hurt you."

Maura bit her lower lip and considered Jane a long moment, then the note again. And then she stood, striding for her coat in the corner. She fumbled with it until Jane came over to help her. Surprisingly she let Jane, her face tilted down and away as Jane buttoned the buttons and straightened the lapel for her, pulling her hair from under the collar, her fingers brushing the nape of Maura's neck.

Jane knew this was goodbye.

Reach down your hand in your pocket

Maura looked at the note one more time, then slid her hands into both of the pockets of the coat.

"I need that to remind me," Jane said gently.

"It's not true. It was never true."

"Please, I need it." Jane's hands slid over Maura's into the coat pockets. Maura hands caught hers before she could reach the scrap of paper, and Maura held Jane's hands still in the privacy of her pockets. She didn't let Jane go, even when Jane stopped twisting her fingers, trying to escape. She just held Jane's hands in hers. And then she leaned up.

Pull out some hope for me

Maura kissed slowly, like she was considering every sensation before they even started. Her mouth was matcha-warmed and soft and sweet, her hands still holding Jane's in a vice-like grip that still somehow managed not to exert pressure on where Jane's hands had been broken. When her lips parted, Jane's went with hers. She'd already been torn open once tonight, and the gentleness of Maura's mouth almost hurt worse. It felt like she was a frog in a pot, waiting to drown or be boiled or whatever happened to frogs. She was still waiting for the inevitable crushing defeat of Maura's rejection.

Maura's hands slid away from Jane's, and she unbuttoned her Burberry overcoat, hanging it back up on the rack. All interest lost in its pockets, Jane watched Maura guiltily, hungrily.

"I should love you this much," Maura said, taking the note and ripping it up. She left the pieces scattered on the floor. "I love you so much," Maura whispered, leaning up to kiss Jane again, to push her toward a bedroom they both knew intimately.

It's been a long day

Jane was still awake when dawn broke, casting delightful shadows over the warm body she held in her arms. She kissed the shoulder next to her face lazily, and was rewarded with Maura giving a contented sigh, snuggling back against Jane.

It had been a long day, almost as long as the day she'd jumped off a bridge after an innocent man, but this one had been way, way better.

Always

"- in sickness and in health?" Ordained Minister Holiday asked.

"Always," Jane said, kissing Maura before Nina could announce that she could. "Always," she whispered, for Maura's ears alone, and Maura nodded, kissing Jane back.

---

So this was supposed to be about Maura wanting to be the adopted parent to Jane's baby but it clearly is not.

#rizzoli and isles #rizzoli & isles #rizzles #maura isles #jane rizzoli #rizzles fanfic #Spotify

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shadowmaat · 4 months ago

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Reblogging myself again because I'm once again tired of posts/stories that posit "Anakin would have been a good and wonderful dad if it hadn't been for that little oopsie where he Fell and slaughtered everyone."

Anakin's turn to the Dark wasn't an accident. It wasn't a one-time thing. And even if Palpatine was influencing him with the Force, he only built up what was in Anakin all along.

I really really wish more people would write fics where Anakin is a bad father, not only because it's more canonically fitting, but because it'd be a hell of a lot more interesting.

IMO one of the only reasons the Anidala relationship works is because Anakin is primarily absent. It keeps things spicy and made it easy for Padmè to overlook Anakin's atrocious and controlling behavior. She can write it off as the stress of the war or the pressure of needing to be the Hero Without Fear, or whatever nonsense helps her sleep at night. But if she had to deal with him on a daily basis? If he was in her face all the time, demanding that she ignore everything in favor of paying attention to him? Even without throwing babies into the mix I imagine that would get old fast. But add in a couple of babies who actually need a lot of attention and I can only see the situation dissolving fast.

Of course this particular spin is very favorable to Padmè. I give her the benefit of a reality check on her perfect fantasy of a secret marriage and the kind of man she knowingly married. Maybe actually having kids would help wake her up and realize that a few changes need to be made, not only to protect herself, but to protect her babies.

An equally interesting possibility, and one I've only seen written about once, is that she chooses Anakin over her children and decides to be just as selfish as he is. Luke & Leia frequently wind up in the care of Threepio and Artoo or various nannies and other substitutes, and she can keep spending most of her time with her dear, wonderful husband, who might have the occasional violent tantrum, but who is still good underneath it all. Man, I miss that fic. Hopefully Obi-Wan wound up with complete custody of the twins.

AU where Anakin actually makes a good choice and helps Mace kill Palpatine. LOTS of stuff gets uncovered, the war is floundering but not over yet, and Anakin’s marriage is revealed.

He’s… encouraged to leave the Order so that he can spend time raising his family, but this is Anakin Skywalker, who can never, ever let go. He stubbornly sticks with the Order and goes back out to keep fighting. (the way I look at it, the Seppie’s upper tier leadership might be gone, but the Separatist Movement itself was still based on legitimate grievances.)

Padme is moved into the Temple to oversee her health and protect her unborn children. Anakin thinks they’re holding her/them hostage to make him behave, but also glad that someone should be able to prevent her from dying.

The twins are born. Anakin comes home to meet them. He dotes on them and dotes on his wife, who is refusing to rest and is helping the interim Chancellor review the terms of a temporary cease-fire in hopes of really ending the war and allowing worlds to secede from the Republic if they wish it.

Anakin is Displeased that his wife is “overworking” herself even though Master Che says she’s doing fine. Anakin can’t make her understand that Padme has CHILDREN now and that HER HUSBAND is RIGHT HERE and why is she busy with unimportant stuff?

Still. He’s proud of his children and trusts Padme and her handmaidens and droids to take care of messy stuff like diapers and feeding. In fact he’s probably been working on a nanny droid who can handle everything so Padme doesn’t have to.

He heads back out on “patrols” but the cease-fire seems to be holding and both sides are calling it a victory. Anakin comes home again and is shocked to realize that Padme isn’t using the nanny droid he made. Her explanation that she wants to take care of the babies herself doesn’t make a lot of sense. They’re messy and loud and squirmy and why would she want to deal with that when she can pass them off to a droid and spend time with him instead?

Padme is a bit frazzled because she IS doing her best to be a good Mom but the babies are babies and have been particularly fussy lately which means she hasn’t been sleeping much. She snaps at Anakin and the room goes cold. The twins burst into tears. Anakin is GLARING at her. He says he’ll be back when she’s being more sensible and storms out.

It’s finally dawning on Padme that she may have a problem.

The issues continue. Anakin is around all the time and keeps expecting Padme to drop everything (including the twins) to pay attention to HIM. She tries to appease him, which mostly means working in secret when he’s at the Temple or sleeping, but while she’ll sometimes hand the twins off to someone, “sometimes” isn’t nearly enough as far as Anakin’s concerned. She’s his WIFE. She should pay attention to HIM. Isn’t that what love is about?? She does love him, right?!

She’s reached out to Obi-Wan for help a couple of times, but Anakin explodes when he finds out what she did, accusing them both of conspiring behind his back and when did you start spending so much time with Obi-Wan, huh?? What’s THAT about??

Things come to a head when Anakin comes back from one of his mysterious “trips” offworld and finds that she’s off at the park with the twins. She should have been home to meet him! He’s beginning to think she loves the babies more than she loves him!

Padme has had it. She has bent over backwards trying to accommodate him, but it’s never enough, and honestly he’s starting to scare her. Now he’s jealous of his own children?? She orders him to leave. He refuses. This is HIS home, too! She pulls out a blaster and he just laughs at her, saying she’d never be able to pull the trigger on HIM. She does. Stun shot.

She gathers up her babies and as many supplies as she can get and flees for the Temple, calling ahead to warn them why she’s coming and also calling Fox to warn him.

Fox takes a team in to secure the prisoner and await the Jedi (probably Obi-Wan) being sent over to help. Master Che is waiting when Padme arrives and takes them off to a secure wing in the halls of healing to allow her and the twins time to recover from the emotional trauma.

Anakin didn’t Fall when Palpatine tried to goad him into it, but when he wakes up to find he’s been arrested and his wife is leaving him and taking his kids, well, his eyes might just turn yellow after all.

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misschifuyu · 3 years ago

Text

To choose a lover

requested here

characters: ran haitani + rindou haitani

genre: fluff

warnings: none

Giggles and whispering comments were passed around, giddiness present in the voices that spoke out just a few metres away from you.

As much as you tried to focus on the tiresome work that was splayed out on the piece of paper before you, it was completely futile to drown the girls out.

It didn't take a genius to know what they were talking about. The school you were all under had the privilege - if one could even consider it as such - to hold two infamous students.

The Haitani brothers.

Whilst the eldest was in his final year, the younger still had another year under this roof until he followed in his brother's footsteps.

But there was really nothing to dislike about going to class when one had a literal fan group who's main topic was always them.

There were girls who preferred Ran, with his signature braids that they always wished they could undo for him; and others that would always fawn over Rindou's cocky ways and stubbornness, trying to catch his attention wherever he went.

The current conversation, however, wasn't just fixed on talking about their aspects.

Far from it. Sending each other questionable looks and making fun of those on the other side of the opinion, they were discussing who, out of the two brothers, was better.

Those on Ran's side had the advantage of saying that he was older, therefore more responsible and willing to take care of anyone.

Sure.

He would make the perfect husband, some were proclaiming. But...the youngest would always want to show that he is the strongest, the more dependable one, as a result of the inferiority that had always hung with him since they were young.

It wasn't that he was, he just hadn't pushed himself to be known as much as his brother had done all those years back.

Needless to say, it was an argument that would never see an end. At least not until the two left the school behind and continued up to wherever the future would take them.

It was amusing, from your point of view, to hear all of these discussions. For years now you had known the two, as close friends who had grown up on the same street, so you knew everything that there was to them, right down to what they actually did when they said they were studying.

Definitely something that the girls would be pushed back by if they ever found out.

But, if it really came down to it, you probably wouldn't be able to pick one out of the pack that they came in, either.

They both had their merits and faults, and, truth be told, neither of the two were that much of a pleasure to be around with, as much as their fans would beg to differ.

One thing was for sure, though. It had come into the light when the three of you had been hanging out one afternoon, without much else to do.

You had asked the youngest about what he thought about his notorious lower level when it came to comparing him with his brother.

It had simply been a spur of the moment, and you hadn't expected him to actually give a sorrowful response.

He was well aware that he was viewed as the weaker brother of the two, and as much as he'd try to prove otherwise, it had always been something that would eat away at him.

Naturally, both you and Ran had jumped to convince him that he was far from a weak person.

The fact that he was viewed as such meant nothing at all when it came down to the reality of what he was, and that there was no point in even listening to those ignorant - and frankly, irrelevant - opinions about himself.

At the end of the day, although you would never openly admit it near the oblivious fangirls, you held a considerable amount of affection towards the two of them.

Of course, they had their odd moments in which you only wished to hit them around the head with Ran's metal bar; but, all in all, they would always be your childhood friends.

So choosing between them was simply out of the question.

Both of them held an equal importance to you, so when a peculiar feeling started growing for one of them, you quickly averted it so it would be felt for the two, whatever it were to be.

They were two peas in a pod, and you weren't about to change this because of a measly crush.

However, the thought would only bug you more whenever you were all together. Such as the current situation, sat right between the two of them on the comfort of their couch.

Before even coming over, you had mentally ordered yourself to disregard the ridiculous thoughts that had flooded your mind.

The girls back at school hadn't help with the problem one bit, if anything they worsened the conflictive feelings; and now you were to spend the afternoon with the two.

One could only think that all odds were against them in such situations.

Head resting on Ran's shoulder, legs atop Rindou's, your eyes were fixed onto the screen before you. The reasoning behind spending the afternoon together was the airing of your favourite show.

However, you were now racking your brains over what you were supposed to do after the series ended. Watching a movie was the prime option, but you figured they would want to move from the couch and do something else.

And the two were very talkative, so you would have to, inevitably, push everything in your mind aside to prevent from even giving the smallest hint surrounding your thoughts.

Your stiffness didn't go unnoticed, and, soon enough, you felt a hand on your leg, startling you in an instant.

"What the hell is up with you today, Y/N?"

Rindou had lost all attention for what was playing on the screen, and it looked to be as though he had for a bit now. This meant he had felt your change of attitude well before he had actually asked about it.

"What? No, nothing...why?"

Knitting his eyebrows together, the blond looked over at you with a disbelieving stare. By now, you were sure Ran had shifted his interest towards the two of you.

"You've been all skittish since you got here. You got something important on your mind or what?"

Geez.

"No...I've just been thinking about something stupid, that's all. Don't worry about it, now let me watch th-"

"That being?"

Now you were cornered. From behind you, having turned to look at Rindou, a voice spoke out the question. In slight panic, you managed to come up with another way around it.

"Well...that, let's say, if I had to choose one out of the two of you, I wouldn't know who I'd pick. It's a silly question one of my friends asked today, that's all"

God bless the fan girls. You were sure to never judge them internally again, because they might have just saved your skin in the nick of time.

Your nerves calmed down as you heard Rindou chuckle at the concern, and you figured he'd just brush it off as another one of your peculiar inquiries.

However, as he fully turned towards you, it was clear that he wasn't about to let this go unfazed.

"Well, you can't just leave us like that without an answer. Go on then, if it was a life or death situation, who would it be?"

"Rindou...you know I'd get rid of both of you if I could"

You all laughed at your words, stirring the conversation into an area that you were certain you could get a hold of.

Each one of you was just as ridiculous as the next one, so it wasn't hard to divert difficult topics.

If only the youngest wasn't so damn pushy.

"On a real note, there's gotta be one of us that you like just a little more, Y/N"

Upon knowing that perhaps you had driven yourself into a dead end, you started to fumble with your fingers.

What the hell were you supposed to say? If you picked one, the other was surely to get the wrong idea.

"Um..."

A slight shift behind you made you turn your head, catching Ran just a little too close for comfort to your face. Great, just what you needed.

After a few, nerve racking, seconds in silence, it was the eldest of the two that decided to break the ice. You were all just wasting time there, after all.

"Listen...since my brother seems incapable of forming a decent sentence, what we've been trying to get at is which one you'd choose, because we've both liked you for some time now and we kinda need to know who you'd go out with"

Well.

Certainly an unexpected turn to your seemingly uneventful afternoon. It appeared that you weren't the only one struggling with the damned feeling that was a crush, but you hadn't gambled that it would be both of them...and for the same person.

You couldn't choose.

In the same way that you had to waver the feeling of more than just friendship between the two of them, there was no way you could pick one now.

It would be unfair for the other, especially since you would only be lying to yourself for saying that you felt nothing for the half that was left aside.

There was only one way out of this, unless you wanted to shatter the relationship you had built between them for the past years.

"I...both of you. I can't leave one of you out when I, well, like both of you"

A huge weight was lifted from your body the moment the brothers exchanged a look, followed by an agreeing nod. Far from the catastrophe you had gambled with, that much was sure.

As Ran leaned his head on your shoulder, Rindou gave you a bright smile, one that not everyone had the chance to say that they've seen.

"Wasn't so hard to say, now was it?"

No. What was going to be hard was having not one Haitani by your side, but two, as a partner. Sure enough, you were really going to know what their poor mother had to put up with now.

#tokyo revengers #tokyo manji revengers #tokyo revengers ran #ran haitani #tokyo revengers rindou #rindou haitani #tokyo revengers x reader #ran x reader #rindou x reader #fluff

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dailyreverie · 3 years ago

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Evermore

A/N: Very vaguely related to the Taylor Swift song but not as sad as the song itself. This is set after TWS, while Bucky is in Bucharest, so please channel your Beefy Bucky thoughts for this. Also, there are a couple words in Rumanian.

Day 12 - Lonely || Gloomy skies, soft blankets, and a warm fire.

☃️ December Writing Challenge! 🎄

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1.18k words

Warnings: Being alone for Christmas. (I know it might be triggering for some people so I'm just leaving that as a warning)

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It was a hard thing to remember what Christmas was. Bucky remembered the faces, the smiles around the dining table, lights and colors around the city; but Christmas, its meaning, and what it used to be for him, was not appearing in his mind.

That was until the date began getting closer and Bucharest began transforming into a city of twinkling lights and snow, with the same joyful songs playing in every store and the same red-coat man started appearing in every corner. Everything started coming little by little then.

Christmas, Bucky recalled, meant the joy of being with his family; it meant getting the prettiest gifts for his mom and his sister just to see them smile; it meant walking around New York with Steve and sharing a bag of roasted candied nuts; it meant seeing Central Park covered in snow and a big tree covered in colorful lights with a nice girl he would never remember the name of again.

It all hit him more and more each day. With smiles all around him and crăciun fericit heard over and over again, only the grey sky of winter was there to help him escape all that. He wished, sometimes, that he had never remembered those things about his past at all, not when those memories remind him how alone the world has set him to be.

Bucky blocked the day altogether, shutting it down and away from his mind. There was no point in celebrating when he could barely remember how it was done, when the memories of the day involved people who were long gone.

He had set to watch the clouds pass, to find a station on the radio that played the same festive songs from his childhood and maybe warm the microwave soup he had. That is until, a knock on the door broke the silence of his apartment and your frame appeared on the other side.

He had seen you before, of course Bucky had. He had heard you speaking in English over the phone months ago, parking his eyes on you speaking about your co-worker with a bright laugh that had no place in that badly-lit building. You apologized then, sending him an apologetic smile when you noticed his gaze with a quick "scuze" after you realized you were speaking rather loud with the excuse of no one understanding your foreign words.

But Bucky kept staring. English. He hadn't heard English in so long - ever since Steve found him, and ages before that - and now there you were, and the sound of it on your lips could not let him turn away.

"Don't worry," Was all he could think of saying. The recognition lighted up your face, and the smile your lips formed was one he could never erase from his mind. He learned your name then and you learned his, and you became an apparition in his life ever since: a slice of homemade bread or a quick chat walking up the stairs, it didn't matter, it all came with you and with his heart beating loudly against his chest, in a good way for a change. For him, that was enough.

There was no wonder why you were at his door so late at night, or why the hall between your apartment and his smelled as good as it did, with a distant song playing from behind your door and the shadow of twinkling lights peeking from there.

"I did enough food for a few days, so I was wondering..." You were nervous, Bucky could tell but decided to ignore. The relationship you had built, call it neighbors or call it friends, had never gone beyond the arch of his doorway or yours - it had gone to his hand on your lower back to guide you up the stairs when your hands were full, and to your eyes staying in each other's for an extra few seconds after handing him a plate of food, but never beyond your doors. - "...I was wondering if you wanted to join me?"

"Are you sure?" It was his first reaction, making sure you knew what you were saying. He wasn't sure, either. How long has it been since he had dinner like that? A warm homecooked dinner seemed like something from another lifetime to him.

"It is bad enough to be far from home on Christmas, we don't have to add being alone to that." You joked lightly.

He had been alone for 70 years or more, but you didn't have to know that. At least not yet. So, what's one more night, right? Call it Christmas, call it whatever you want, it was a night just like the others... "I'd love to join you." ...which is why when he blurted out the answer, he started wondering if his mind was playing tricks on him again.

The way your eyes lit up at him was not a trick from his mind, though.

Your apartment was as warm as you felt to him, with a small decorated tree by the window and the sound of Christmas music filling his ears, the fireplace making everything smell like pine and wood.

"So, what do you usually do on Christmas?" You had asked as you sat down, plates filled to the rim with the food you had prepared. You looked at him intently, taking a mouthful of food as you waited for an answer.

You were looking at him like no one else had, and right there winter didn't feel like a long-lost memory anymore, or like a name to fear, it felt like a nice cup of wine and a beautiful smile.

It all came easy with you, Bucky realized. There was no need to pretend or hide. You didn't judge him when he was vaguely talking about his Christmases back home, or when he so carefully tasted your food as if he had never seen something like that before. You looked at him kindly, with a smile on your lips as you asked about his home in Brooklyn. He spoke of what for him were memories of a century ago, coming one by one to his mind as they had never had before.

"Well, I'm glad you are not in Brooklyn tonight," You lifted your cup, not breaking his gaze or turning down his smile. Bucky laughed with you, even, the simple action warming his cheeks and feeling his stiffed face break. "And I'm glad you are here with me now."

"I'm glad I'm here with you too, doll." The words sent him to a time before, rolling off his tongue naturally like everything you made him feel did. Your cheeks blushed at the pet name as your glasses clinked together, your smiles finding each other in the middle with only the fire lighting them up.

"Merry Christmas, Bucky." You said in a whisper, your eyes lost on the endless sea of his.

"Merry Christmas." He whispered back.

With you smiling at him, the thought of being alone didn't make sense anymore, and he knew he wasn't going to be evermore.

Thanks for reading! Reblog and comment if you enjoyed it!

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crescentcitymultimuse · 1 year ago

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He agreed, but he wouldn't say it. The shade really complimented her complexion in a way others couldn't really pull off. He thought about it for a moment, he hadn't paid her looks much mind, but in truth he thought the original vampire sister would have been more, well, unappealing. This wasn't the case. She was the type to keep you up at night with impure thoughts.

"Yes, when I die, this will be me," he gestured to the sarcophagi lining the walls on both sides, "a comforting thought. really." He'd already died, and here he was but not sleeping eternally at peace, he decided to keep that part to himself for the time being. the place stank of death, wet earth and long forgotten flesh.. a hint of peppermint lip balm and lavender, that was rebekah. Once close at his heel, the vampire had made sure to widen the gap between them, he felt the absence of her as soon as she moved. He ignored it, stealing a glance at her through the corner of his eye.

"We're almost there now, just a little further -" he edged forward, he could see a blue light breaking across the hall ahead when they hit the bottom step. "It might take a small bit of convincing, but I have a way with words. I'm sure I could get them to give you what you want." He hated the Silent brothers and everything they were. They made his insides turn to ice. They were worse than the demons he faced down everyday. "I'll do the talking, stay on the outter edge until i introduce you."

He took a deep breath trying to suppress the fear that built ten fold in his stomach, and stepped into the enclosure, he put the witch light away as the blue glow from candles now covered all in the circular room. At the furthest edge stood three tall figures, bald with hollow sockets where eyes should be, lips sewn shut.

"I, Jace Herondale, ask counsel on behalf of another," he was standing beneath the sword the speaking stars surrounding up over head, he stood dead center of the room. He almost felt like he might be shaking, luckily he'd managed to activate the fearless rune before coming.

for what reason, and for who it was brother Zachariah in his head, the ghost of a whisper, like an uncomfortable itching on his brain.

"Rebekah Mikaelson."

a downworlder - you wish to protect, the words sounded almost like a hiss. here, in the city of bones he could sense their disapproval.

"I was sent to protect the originals on account of the accords," he tried his best to make it clear this was within good reason, "there is someone who wishes to see them dead, and their whole vampire sire lines will die along side them."

come forward the chill had left his body, he spun around to look at the original, surely they were speaking to her, his mind now simply full of white noise static. Empty of outside voices. He made way for her and retreated to the outter edge of the circle.

"Silent brothers, iron sisters, bonded by blood, I get it.. you're family. Though I feel making up a bunch of fancy words to say the same things is a bit excessive. You're all shadowhunters, right," she presumed. Her eyes widening now as she took notice of the quick change in color of the stone she held in her hand; from a bright luminescent white to a dark blood red, quite fitting for a vampire. "Red rather suits me better anyways."

Rebekah felt like the walls started to close in on them and she instinctively drew even closer than before, once again inhaling the lingering scent of blood and sweat that emanated off him now, as they continued forward and the space broadened she tried her best to keep enough distance between the two of them without being so obvious about it. "These caskets," she whispered. "Do they hold the bones of your fallen breathren?" Her own casket stored back at the abbatoir for when she inevitably disappointed Niklaus was now at the forefront of her thoughts. "Do you have one here, too," she inquired. Without so much as a second thought. "Erm.. I uh, I shouldn't have asked. You don't have to answer that. "

#mc. jace herondale #arc one

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riddlecrux · 4 years ago

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Historical AU

Day 7 of Elriel Month!

Summary: Blue and violet material rustled as she stared at three stars and three mountain peaks which sparkled in the daylight. The place that called her home. Velaris knights galloped through the forest with grace and dignity. At the front of the formation, she spotted him. Note: This is a snippet of my upcoming multi chapter Medieval AU Elriel fanfic!

There was talk in the town.

A gossip about one particular knight was spreading among ladies like a wildfire, fast and unforgiving. Whenever she went out, for a trip to the market or tailor, the words were often hushed and clipped. As if saying them outright and loud would bring the said person stumbling through the door - unannounced and feared. It was as if a shadow of a knight lived among the elites, constantly watching their lips, ready to strike from the darkest parts of the room. She had thought that gossiping was a rather boring thing to do, especially during the daytime - she much preferred spending her free time gardening and walking through the nearby forest.

The solitude she yearned for was always waiting for her, embracing her in silence and wisps of spring wind. A book under her arm, the hem of her skirt tucked between her fingers as she moved through the green maze with a blush covering her pale skin. It was something completely different from the small, claustrophobic ballrooms filled with perfumed guests and men trying to catch themselves a woman, a wife, a person that they were going to tame. A woman, later barely a doll. Empty shell filled with her husband's desires, placid and neat. Never free, never wild - an object that men love to present as a trophy.

Elain huffed, long steps halting as golden brown tresses slipped from her modest braid - her blue dress wrinkled and dirty, the mud sprinkled even her undergarments as she maneuvered through the forest road. She glanced behind her, a nervous tick, and with a soft frown on her forehead, she leaned against the rough tree. Few flowers slipped from her hand as she closed her eyes, breathing the scent of nature which coaxed her troubled mind.

She knew that the day would come, sooner or later - she prayed that her resolve and kindness would prevent her from marriage without love but naive as she was she knew that it was only a matter of time before her mother chose her a fiancé. Preferably rich one, from a distinguished family with a house close to the city market and church. Those arguments were vain and so ill-matched in Elain's opinion. She didn't care for money; she wanted to be loved. More than anything else she wanted to be chosen because of her personality - not too extravagant, timid, and simple as her father once said. Nesta always had a spark in her, steel that made men tremble before her, a woman made for a king or a duke. Her older sister was always the example of everything Elain wasn't, yet the day before Nesta's arranged marriage it was her older, wiser, dutiful sister that ran away - leaving a letter in which she chose love over duty.

I do not wish to be shackled by a man that does not deserve me. Women are much more than cattle you breed to sell. I part with a heavy heart, not because of my decision but because of the future of my sisters.

Elain had read the letter thousands of times, tracing letters with her fingers - remembering Nesta's coldness and silent form of love. She envied her older sister. If she was more courageous, less soft she would, perhaps, repeat her sister's steps.

Sighing through her parted lips her head hit the tree behind her. I do not wish to be shackled by a man that does not deserve me. She murmured under her breath like a prayer staring at the empty road that led to her little town. Gripping the old book by its edges Elain willed herself to pray. Pray that the man her mother had chosen would not like her. Pray that her resolve would show her the correct way, an answer to her broken promise. Pray that…

Her eyes opened at the sound of horses coming down the road. Glancing behind her cover she saw four riders, all dressed in black robes - all of them being knights. Her grip on the branch tightened as her mouth parted once again at the sight of a very well-known flag that was flowing in the air behind them. Blue and violet material rustled as she stared at three stars and three mountain peaks which sparkled in the daylight. The place that called her home. Velaris knights galloped through the forest with grace and dignity. At the front of the formation, she spotted him.

A knight dressed in black armor, iron spikes coming from his shoulder pads, and even sharper ones adorning his helmet. His gauntlets tightly clenched around his horse’s harness, dark and utterly beautiful. The breastplate was wide and devoid of any ornaments safe for three stars on each side of his armor. On his left side an extraordinary sword. Its majestic hilt covered in small, blue gems which were reflecting sunshine as he moved on the massive, gorgeous stallion. It was her gasp that made him snap his neck in her direction - she quickly scrambled and hid behind the tree wishing that he hadn't seen her. As the sounds of hooves started to ease with their every step, Elain slowly crept from her hiding position. Her heart beating so loud that the bird sitting on one of the branches fled from its resting spot.

The talk of the town - The Scarred Knight, came just in time for the tournament.

3 YEARS EARLIER

The summer was hot and stuffy.

Elain shot a quick glance behind her shoulder as she ran through the crowded streets of the town. She could hear Lucien's screams and his brothers’ laughter, however, she didn't stop. Her feet adorned with leather booties moved even faster, as long as she lost the gingers she would be safe. She turned right, stumbled because of the moving wagon, and sprinted towards cathedral alley - people were staggering when she turned in another street, her hair falling from her up-do in waves of molten gold. The freedom in her lungs was addictive. She felt like a bird, freed from its beautiful cage that it was trapped in for its whole life.

Her feet hit the muddy ground as she scanned moving peasants and with a resolution on her delicate features, she whirled around and ran straight towards the training grounds. One step, two steps...

She gasped when she collided with a solid body, her feet getting caught in the lace of her dress, making her fall on her backside with a loud thud. Her forehead was hurting and she could swear that the world around her wavered as she finally decided to glance at the reason for her fall. It was a knight, a tall and very deadly one. His violet eyes scanned her for injuries and with a slow sigh, he presented her a gloved hand.

"My lady," his sensual voice rang in her ears as she gracefully - at least she hoped so, gripped his fingers and stood up. Her beige dress was dirty and ruffled at its edges. Her mother would have scolded her till her calves were raw from the beating. The sight of her so utterly ungracious and dishonorable would shake her so much that Elain would have had to beg her on her knees to stop. Nevertheless, as she looked at her skirt she saw few droplets of blood and with a frown, she deduced that she, in fact, sliced her palm when she tried not to stumble.

Snapping her attention back to the knight in front of her, she slowly bowed and smiled. Her curls created a halo around her heart-shaped face when she finally looked him straight in his eyes. He was tall, well built and had brown skin. It was a beautiful color, she mused trying not to think how handsome he was.

"Sir Knight, pardon my intrusion," she cocked her head as another knight appeared in her peripheral vision. He was even taller and bigger than the one from before. His long hair flew on wisps of wind as he chuckled seeing her state and dirt on her dress. One dark brow rose with a flicker of amusement in his bright eyes.

"It's a rather peculiar sight to behold," he murmured as another wave of deep laughter erupted from his throat. She could feel redness coming up on her cheeks and with a swift movement, she ducked her chin down. Her mother would have simply perished if she saw her right now. What a disgrace for her perfect family.

"Cassian, the lady is hurt," she still didn't dare to look up, and when the newcomer left as quickly as he appeared she stole a small glance in the direction of soft sounds.

On her right, the training grounds were almost empty safe for a knight in black armor, kneeling on the ground. His hands were bare and visible to her eyes - scars, horrible and painful ones adoring his long fingers and gentle palms were a stark contrast to his dark attire. However, what caught her initial attention was the way he was slowly but surely trying to feed a stray kitten that aimlessly wandered here. His kneeling person, sharp against the tiny creature barely visible to the human eye. Two oddities coexisting in that nanosecond of time seemed to stop for her as she devoured the sight of this blindingly pure kindness.

"My lady," she heard the other man from somewhere far away. Her tunnel vision focused on that one person, his act of gentleness amidst the blazing sunlight, and… the way his scarred fingers were trembling while he placed all of his weight on his knees. As if he was scared and ashamed of their appearance, even before that small animal hissing in his direction. "My lady?" Her doe eyes found violet ones and with a soft gasp, she came to her senses.

"Please do forgive me for my ignorance," her voice shook and she hated herself for that. For that slight hint of distress slipping through the cracks of her perfectly molded mask of courtesy. The knight rose a dark brow and with frivolous joy watched her behavior as if he had solved a mysterious puzzle. Deep down in her chest, her heart sang an unknown song that made her spiral even further into herself.

"Azriel!" A sharp command slashed the air as she whipped her head at the source of that loud noise. The violet-eyed knight bowed elegantly as the kneeling man slowly stood up, even taller than previously acquainted knights, and slowly made a way towards them. His armor was loud, yet mesmerizing - she felt her bloodstream tickle, surge as the earth shattered under her legs with the force of warmth and longing she suddenly felt. An intake of breath caught in her lungs made her frozen as foreign yet so well-known hazel eyes stopped on her person. As if she had dreamt about them, as if they were forever imprinted inside her like a burst of thousands of stars. The slits in his helmet allowed her to see his long eyelashes, dark and dangerous, as he inclined his greetings.

"Sir Knight," she breathed out, like a bird singing for its designed mate. The knight's burning gaze left her shaking - as if her soul suddenly came down on earth and wished for a moment of utmost closure.

"The lady is hurt," the shorter one supplied glancing between both of them with a smirk. "Please attend her while I gather supplies," and with a swift nod, he left both of them alone. She supposed that time became only a fraction of surrounding her world when Azriel only stared at her, his scarred hands tucked behind him as if the sight of them might have somehow offended her.

"Sir Knight," her lips parted with a silent echo of yearning. "You have truly beautiful hands," his eyes widened, a golden hue covering his irises as his armor rumpled with the stretch of his muscles.

"It's a far-fetched compliment, my lady, yet I'm declaring my thanks," he blinked as she fought with an overwhelming feeling dancing in her chest. He was so close to her and yet she felt as if he was a whole ocean away. Maybe her soul, the one who often whispered in her ear about soulmates, tricked her and made her a fool. Maybe because of that she wanted to say something, anything that could last - to make him remember her, a wild girl with flowers in her hair.

"It's not," she urged and let herself smile. "For what I have seen, Sir, you are gentle-natured," a gust of wind ruffled her tresses and when she tried to fight with them, scarred digits arrived next to her ear.

"And you, my lady, are indisputably a spring ready to conquer the already fading winter," he whispered urgently. Her heart trembled at his words, it was as if he had spoken to her spirit, to the gaping wound of her hidden longings and dreams. As if he had known her, right now and all these centuries before. The time was crashing into her like waves of that unknown feeling that overcame her, however before she could answer the loud yell of her name startled her like a deer.

"I must," her ragged breathing stopped when she saw red-haired men stumbling onto training grounds. Wide-eyed and breathless she stole the last glance at her starry-eyed soulmate and turned around. Even if all laws of this world told her to stay, screamed at her to turn around to see the universe crashing inside those hazel eyes, she didn't.

She left him there, a tray of sunlight and starlight glittering behind her as he watched her till she became only a speck of dust in the blazing heat.

#elrielmonth #elrielmonth21 #elriel #pro elriel #elriel fic #elain x azriel #azriel and elain

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nincompoopydoo · 3 years ago

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DEBRIS AND MISERY

DOUBT MAKES THE STRONG WEAK ; PART 8 / ?

PAIRING: Loki Laufeyson x Female!Reader WORD COUNT: 3.5k SUMMARY: From concussions to destruction, you find yourself developing an odd trust in the last two people you would even begin to have faith in and when the apocalypse seems unavoidable, you discover that there may be more to the mystery of the universe. A/N: Well, this chapter is long. And mainly pertains around the theme of 'doubt'. A lot more of Sylvie stuff and Loki just having heart eyes the whole time. I love this chapter and I can’t wait to write more as the story ends. Please tell me what you love, hate, anything (maybe theories lol). Thank you for showing so much love. gif from this gifset by @kamalaskhans WARNINGS: Swearing. Apocalypse. Injuries. Blood. support my writing through ko-fi💖 MASTERPOST ; MASTERLIST

You were once a fighter.

Hunter E-87 was the name you once knew, hollered through different fields and dimensions in time and space. You fought for what you thought was right, pledging allegiance to a cosmic establishment that held all power to a single timeline and never questioned the works of the Time-Keepers. The Sacred Timeline is indeed sacrosanct, too important, too valuable to interfere. You fight in the name of the single thread of time, the bark of a tree, forbidden to bare branches of a potential multiverse. You fight because the thought of alternate timelines used to scare you. Yet, if alternate universes were meant to be, the lives you took and destroyed are now in the grasp of your bloody hands. You hold the responsibility of the death of the innocent, taking part in mass genocide.

But promises must be kept.

The thought constantly haunts you in your sleep. You have dreams of death, war, destruction, and famine from across the universe. People seem to glide like specters in the world built by your imagination and mind. You have seen a lot, more than any being in the universe should, but no one talks about the aftermath of witnessing the tragedy of the universe as time goes on and on. No one talks about what it does to the mind. Music from cassettes and the wonder of human space exploration were distractions to cope with the grinding hole in you and the fact you might be turning truly crazy.

Sometimes, you would like to be human—Fewer problems and less time to live.

You blame the sickening and bizarre vivid images that come and go whenever you close your eyes as a symptom of being a hunter. The others are stronger than you. Well, they act like they are. Becoming an analyst made you sleep better but there was always doubt. Sakaar made you doubt.

Doubt makes the strong weak. Doubt makes you weak.

“You startin’ to have doubts?”

Green eyes. They watch you with curiosity with a hint of amusement. You hear yourself hum. “Would it be bad if I said yes?”

He laughs. It’s mighty. “Yeah. Definitely bad.”

A beat of silence. You feel your eyes start to sting. “I couldn’t even tell my mom.” A laugh escapes your lips despite the hurt you feel in your chest. “Did you tell anyone? Your wife?”

You see him now, blonde hair slicked back and deep-set eyes. He shakes his head. “Nope. Not even my wife.”

“She’ll be proud, you know.”

“I know...So will your mom. Jesus, you’re gonna be the first woman on—”

Wake up.

“—Is she dead?”

The voice is familiar. It pulls you back to reality but right now, your eyes are too heavy. Doubt is the first emotion that waves through your brain before the process of pain can even occur—uncertain if you are dead or alive.

You can’t feel your limbs, they are too weak.

Doubt makes the strong weak. Doubt makes you weak.

Maybe, you are dead.

“This is your fault! You’re the one who swung that sword of yours to her head! You’re careless—”

Sword...Sword...Careless? You remember a train, a fight.

“Oh, I’m the one who’s careless? You’re the one who’s drunk!”

Drunk...Who was drunk?

Then, your voice echoes in your head, images of a certain brunette with a deep frown. He called you a mewling quim. You quoted Hávamál. You then left him and wandered through the other cabins of the train. He blew his cover. He got you into a fight.

Loki. Loki Laufeyson.

Son of a bitch.

Your eyes are wide open now. All you see are the faces of Loki and Sylvie, looming over you. Just two floating heads. Then, the pain arrives, coursing through the entire back of your head. You wince in immediate reaction and the floating heads turn to you in an instant.

What a way to wake up from a concussion.

You remember everything now, but you certainly don’t recall being on the outside of the train. Must have gotten thrown out. The thought angers you, irritation practically boiling to the brim. Yet, it’s your fault. You hadn't thought to babysit the very person you wish were dead. As your palm grips onto the dirt beneath, muscling all strength left to lift yourself. Your head feels light and heavy all at once. Not good.

“Are you alright?” is the question that flies from Loki’s lips, tinged with an emotion you never knew he had for another but himself—worry. Whether selfless or selfish, you wish to ignore the complexity of Loki’s reactions and possible change in character, especially towards you. Ever since you stepped foot on Lamentis, all you felt was pain. You have never been injured so much within the last few hours than in your entire life and weirdly, you feel fine.

Sylvie is quick to stand, watching the two of you work in tandem. His grip finds the curve of your shoulders as you stick your hand out to grip him by the bicep. At your touch, you notice how his arm stiffens ever so slightly. You don’t say anything.

Some things about Loki are best left unknown and unanswered.

Today is filled with a lot of getting off the ground in the most unceremonious way possible.

A deep exhale leaves your lips, wisps of your hair drifting with the brutal breeze from your nostrils. Beads of sweat trail along the curve of your forehead and the back of your neck. Some entangled with the strands of your hair. Your hands feel clammy and dirty but you run them to push your hair back and away from your face anyway.

“I’m fine,” you mumble, pulling yourself away from his touch.

You finally get a good look at the two. Loki looks like complete shit but Sylvie manages to maintain the regalness to the locks of her hair despite her opposing overall behavior. It’s the Asgardian blood coursing through her veins. You cannot hide your ancestors' blood. It’s hard to believe the two are the same—one being. Yet, it's believable when you’re angry at the two of them.

The two messed up your career, that’s why.

Unbothered and uncivilized. It’s a miracle you’re still alive.

As your eyes shift along the train tracks that meander along a gorge with steep rocky walls that leer above it, you catch sight of a spark by your feet, glinting under the iridescent sky.

It’s the TemPad, shattered into pieces; you recognize the color gold of its border.

Your eyes grow wide, mouth agape. You don’t even feel angry anymore, it’s more than that. You stick out your hand to gesture towards the destroyed device, “Is that—Is that the TemPad?” you ask as your other hand lifts to hold the side of your head. “Or am I just seeing things from the concussion?”

Sylvie is the one to speak. “It’s not the concussion.”

You suddenly feel like you’re burning.

If it were possible, you could have instantly killed him with a look.

“You. You killed us!” you step closer to him and for a moment, Loki doesn’t exactly know what to do. “So, it’s my fault then? You were the one who left me alone in the lounge.” are the words that leave his lips. Completely useless. Trying to diffuse the tension is the exact opposite of what he does.

His silver tongue isn’t so shiny and silver anymore.

You don’t pull your blow this time. Your palm strikes his cheek, rocking his head to the side. Your hand is oddly soft. Loki winces and you stand your ground. “You’re a jerk and an asshole. You’ve probably been called that for all your life and yet, here you are. Still, the most insensitive and pathetic man I’ve ever met,” you articulate your words with frustration and rage. You don’t raise your voice like before, it’s low and frightfully intimidating. “And I’m not your babysitter.”

—

Battles, ruination, and fracas gave a sense of familiarity to Sylvie in a time of an impending apocalypse. When worlds end, benevolence is resolute. The tragedy of the end of lost souls—afraid to die. But as daunting as the apocalypse is, the beauty of their souls finally returning to the universe protrudes amongst the debris and misery.

She sees herself in the two of you, as much as she doesn’t identify as a Loki anymore, and her hatred towards the TVA. You have a temper and he doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut.

You’re mysterious in an almost enchanting way and possibly significant as you seemed to be at first glance. Sylvie is highly curious about you.

You don’t stray too far from the group, only to find rest by the edge of a pit made by a crashing meteor. You sit with your back turned against the very two beings you distrust as you watch the border where the bustling city of Shuroo is based. Your guard is down and you don’t care at this point. Everyone is about to die anyway.

Sylvie’s gaze finds Loki who seems to be only watching the back of your still figure, eyes glinting with an emotion unknown to her. Possibly regret? Sylvie doesn’t know what regret looks like. But fear and anger, she feels it radiating from you. She knows it. Something tells her you’re not solely angry at her and Loki.

She finds herself drifting closer to you. You don’t move. She cautiously settles beside you. “You’re not hiding a knife somewhere, aren’t you?”

You merely scoff, caressing your head, “You’re the one to say.”

Sylvie blinks. Fair enough.

Silence. Sylvie’s eyes shift to the handkerchief tied around your arm, stained with blood. “How’s the arm?”

You hum. “Surprisingly, fine.”

Oh, Sylvie knows it’s fine. She knows what Loki did. She decides not to mention the scratch she made across your cheek.

“Did the slap make you feel better?”

The question is hinted at near sarcasm, but genuinely, she wants to know.

“Yes, it did. You should try it sometime.”

She simply hums. “I would have but you beat me to it.”

A turn of your lips as they curve into a small smile. Sylvie watches with an odd sense of satisfaction. “You know, I’m still mad at you. For what you did to me.” Your words are slow. You find yourself swallowing. “But it’s nothing compared to what the TVA did to you.”

Empathy. Is this what empathy feels like? The moment when someone finally understands what it’s like to be alone for so long. Your lives are different but they reflect in certain ways. You have had your fair share of living in constant fear and constantly running. Sylvie finds herself wanting to tell you that she hadn’t simply pushed you into Sakaar. When it’s a mission, things are never accidental. She always has a plan.

Yet, she chooses not to say anything.

You speak again but merely whisper, fidgeting with your fingers, “Before Sakaar—did you enchant me?”

It's as if you're reading her mind.

“Are you seeing things?”

After a pause, the fidgeting stops.

“I’ve seen things all my life, images. Brief and insignificant. But ever since I was in Sakaar, it’s gotten a lot harder to differentiate a dream and a memory.”

“That’s because they aren’t dreams.”

Your hardened gaze finds hers for a brief moment, nearly growing wide at her words but in an instant, your guard is up once you hear the shuffling of feet behind you where Loki lingers. The subject is dropped immediately. He meets Sylvie’s gaze, the two share a knowing look.

Your anger is provoked and well deserved and yet, the last thing he wants is to be your enemy. Loki doesn’t know why. He has lived a life full of them.

You’re different.

He stills, wondering if you’re going to lash out at him again but when he notices your slow breaths, he decides to sit next to you anyway, awkward glances to you in his periphery. A deep sigh escapes his lips, fiddling with his fingers. “What now?”

Sylvie is the one to answer. “I don’t know. You broke the TemPad.”

“Well—”

“And that planet is about to crash into us.”

Loki looks up at the nearing planet of Lamentis. He blinks. “Well, yes, but—”

“Yes, but what?”

“Well, the entire moon is destroyed, right?”

Sylvie is trying to suppress your growing annoyance. “Yep. And everyone on it is killed.”

But Loki pesters on. “Including us.”

She raises her voice. “Yes, including us.” Loki glances at you momentarily. A pause. He furrows his brows in thought.

“What about the ark?”

“The ark never leaves because it's destroyed.”

Suddenly, an epiphany, his eyes light up. He turns to you and Sylvie, “Never had us on it.”

You suddenly scoff at his words. “Are you suggesting we hijack the ark and make sure it gets off this moon?” You turn to him to only spot a vague smile playing upon his lips. He nods in return. “Sounds like a good idea to me, Agent.”

You merely blink, watching the way his eyes shift across your face. First, you’re struck with uncertainty. It’s a risk, a huge one but you know, risks are meant to be uncertain. Risks are also vital in success. Hesitation, doubt—they make you weak. This time, you want to be strong. Strong enough for one last push to save your life.

“Okay.” is what you say, your expression reflecting his.

For the first time, since he took your hand in Sakaar, you’re starting to trust him.

—

The walk to Shuroo seemed endless. You trail behind the two, feeling like you’re about to suffocate.

“—To preserve the connection, I have to create a fantasy from their memories.”

Loki and Sylvie had been conversing about the science and functions of enchantment in a rather surprisingly calm manner. Loki hums, amused by her elucidation. “And you call me a magician.”

Her expression is unchanged as she continues to trudge alongside Loki, ignoring his previous statement. “That young soldier from the TVA, her mind was messed up. Everything clouded. I had to pull a memory from hundreds of years prior...before she even fought for them.”

Loki halts abruptly in his step, hand flying to grab Sylvie’s arm. “What? What'd you say? Before she joined the TVA?”

Sylvie blinks. “Yeah. She was just a regular person on Earth.”

His mind starts to reel, face muddled with confusion. “I was told that everyone who works for the TVA was created by the Time-Keepers.”

“That's ridiculous. They're all variants, just like us. Including her.” Sylvie gestures discreetly to you who has stopped to take a breather, hands on your hips as you blink up to the sky.

You, Mobius, all of them. All variants.

“They don't know that. She doesn’t know that.” he breathes a terrified expression.

Sylvie looks at you from afar. You’re now looking at them with a bewildered expression. “What?” you call out, voice echoing through the wide area, in a somewhat defensive tone.

She turns to Loki once more, voice nearly faltering. “I have a feeling she already knows it.”

—

Loki doesn’t realize the unfamiliarity of hopelessness. Throughout his life, he was constantly surrounded by those with unfaltering determination—His brother, family, friends who were warriors, The Avengers.

Never was it known that he would see it burning in your eyes as they reflect the growing fire of the Ark, crumbling down, tongues of fire engulfing it whole before you. His heart burns with it as Shuroo falls quiet—only the sounds of the metallic crashing of the disintegrating parts of the ship falling from above and the screams of the rich and deemed worthy to live. Every Lamentian still alive held their breath, a moment's silence for their lives must end. Everything must end.

So close yet so far.

Sylvie is gone by the minute as the city starts to descend in terror and panic. He stands behind your still form, just watching your only chance of making it out, swallowed by its own billowing smoke. He reaches out for you, tugging you by the sleeve. “We should leave,” he says with a sudden sense to protect you. There isn’t much to do at this point. It doesn't matter if you are hit by the falling pieces of the Ark because you are all going to die anyway.

But he considers it a gesture, as insignificant and small it is. The least he could do is to distract you from the end, whether for a mere second or minutes.

“I know things haven’t been the best between us and I concede I bring out the worst in you, but I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

You turn to Loki with his sudden words. He watches the way your expression softens so gracefully, face adorned with gashes and wounds. Your mouth twitches as you respond with a gentle voice. “I forgive you.”

Three words. Very powerful words.

His heart skips a beat.

You find Sylvie at the brink of the city, sitting on a stretched slab of rock amongst the dirt, watching the horizon where the planet starts to meet the moon. Loki still has his hand around your arm, but you don’t complain. It’s your only source of support at the moment. It’s an unconscious move, but everything about it feels right when the two of you settle beside her, shoulders brushing against each other. It only makes sense to want to feel the nearness, the closeness of another as the light at the end of the tunnel begins to dim.

It’s impending. It’s scary.

“I remember Asgard.”

Sylvie’s voice trembles, her eyes are somber.

“Not much, but I remember. My home, my people, my life. Then, the TVA showed up, erased my reality, and took me, prisoner. I was just a child.”

You turn to her, guilt bubbling in your chest, but you don’t say anything. You let her speak. It’s only right.

“I escaped.” she breathes, blinking the brimming tears in her eyes away. ”Stole a TemPad and I ran for a long, long time, which really sucked. Everywhere and every-when I went, it caused a Nexus event.”

Sylvie turns to you with a melancholic gaze. “The universe wants to break free, so it manifests chaos. Like me being born the Goddess of Mischief. But to you and the TVA, I’m not supposed to exist.”

For so long, you hadn’t realized the consequences of your work at the TVA. You believed you were right. That erasing, resetting realities were meant to be. You cannot comprehend how it only occurred to you to question the authority of the Time-Keepers over time itself after Sakaar. All those years of being ignorant and selfish. You hadn’t realized. You never did.

But now you know.

Sylvie continues, gaze shifting away from you. “I figured out where to hide. And so that's where I grew up, the ends of a thousand worlds. Now...that's where I'll die.”

Then, silence. It sits heavily between the three of you.

“The universe—isn’t she beautiful?” Your voice is soft, eyes trained on the horizon—a fleet of asteroids, they reflect the end. But they seem to dance to the silence of the apocalypse, drifting across the stratosphere, lining the firmament. Loki’s gaze shifts to you, training on every curve of your face and the tears slipping down your cheeks. He agrees, the universe is beautiful.

You’re beautiful.

“She brings turmoil, agony, and destruction but in all her flaws, there’s beauty in her very existence.”

Your hands find Sylvie and Loki’s hands, holding on to them tightly as you fight the wavering of your voice.

“You...Both of you might be the epitome of chaos but you must know that you have such beautiful souls. All of us, we're her children...and if she is beautiful, so are we. And the Universe is always right. If she created you then we are wrong.”

Sylvie’s face is soft. Loki squeezes your hand.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything. I should have known from the start...that the TVA was lying to all of us. I should have questioned. I should have doubted—”

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault,” she says, smiling with saddened eyes.

You laugh. You don’t know why, but you do. Maybe, it’s because you know you are a part of the problem anyway, even if you were just doing your job.

You find Loki’s gaze that’s already on you. You sigh and speak through a whisper. “I’m sorry for slapping you.”

His lips curve into a grin, eyes crinkling like your own. “It was well deserved, but I forgive you.”

Fingers entangled with the hands of two unlikely people, you finally realize what it truly feels like to not be alone. To be in the company of someone you want to be with.

“Now long now.” Those three words leave the very lips of Sylvie and your chest feels like it’s about to collapse.

You never knew you were afraid of death, yet here you are—terrified.

The ground shakes beneath you. It’s dark and there’s fire everywhere. A meteor collides to the ground just across the way, it sends smoke billowing to its surroundings faster than you can blink.

Even in the last seconds of your life, you have doubts remaining. What if the universe isn’t always right?

Then, through the growing dust, you see a spark, like lightning. A glint of a figure, standing before you. White, pure, and serene. You’re standing now, staring ahead. Sylvie and Loki cease to exist in your mind as they gaze at you with bewilderment. They anxiously call you by your name but you don’t hear it. There’s only silence now, you don’t hear anything but the ringing in your ears.

A voice, she speaks with dignity. A voice so familiar.

“Doubt makes the strong weak, my child.”

Then, you hear it. A soft hum—a Time Door glows warmth amid your impending death.

Suddenly, she’s gone.

TAGLIST:

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@mystoragehatesme

@the-maroon-panda

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#loki #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x reader #loki imagine #loki laufeyson imagine #loki laufeyson oneshot #loki oneshot #loki x you #loki laufeyson x you #loki series #loki spoilers #sylvie #sylvie laufeyson

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fictionwordcounts · 3 years ago

Text

Home [Anakin x Reader]

Word Count: 2000+

Summary: You're on the desolate planet of Dagobah, and things are a far less than exciting. However, someone crashing close to your home changes everything.

Requested on Wattpad.com at StarkWars084

You were whittling away at a stubborn piece of wood when you saw a ship of some sort fall from the sky not far away. You jumped up from the small chair you had made and examined the smoke trail in awe. Nothing exciting ever happened on this disgusting swamp planet and you absolutely had to go to the crash sight.

Smiling to yourself, you climbed down your tree house and headed off in the direction of the crashed, mysterious object. Wading through the thick mud was easy and you started walking a ways off, but stopped suddenly. You reached toward your back only to grasp empty air-- you'd left your weapon at home. You were furious with yourself for forgetting such an important tool. The planet you were on was nowhere shy of dangerous creatures. Looking over at a large stick on the ground, you decided it would have to do. You grasped it tightly and continued on until you found a broken ship submerged in quick sand. If anyone was alive in there, they certainly weren't now. It was a shame too. You were hoping to find someone (You didn't care who) to make life more interesting. You would have settled for anything in fact.

The sand prevented you from investigating closer, but it was just as amazing from where you were. Sure you had seen ships before, but that was a long time ago, before you came here. The ship was swallowed up quickly by the hungry sand and you strained to see the last bit of the tail disappear. You were about to leave when you noticed footprints leading off from where the plain had been. A sound from behind you made you jump, and you spun around with your makeshift weapon in hand. A man with shoulder-length dark hair and clothes caked in sand stood there. His eyes were kind and calm despite the large stick only inches from his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you," he stated. Even if it wasn't his intention, he had scared you a great deal, and you found yourself unable to lower the stick. He slowly raised his hands and started pushing the weapon down, and you let him since you couldn't do it yourself.

"Who are you?" You asked him once you had found your voice.

"It's alright, I'm Anakin Skywalker. I'm a Jedi, and I can help you off this planet," he answered. "I could take you as far as Coruscant, if you like."

You bit your tongue and changed your mind. I'm not okay with anything! you decided, I wanted anything but a Jedi. The Jedi were the people you had tried to escape in coming here. You had thought you wanted to be one at one time, but they had rejected you when you had failed their ridiculous trials. Now there was one here, though you had chosen to live on one of the most remote planets you could find. You were angry with him though you knew it was not him alone that had denied you the position.

"Well, I'm very glad you've found a way to get home," you said, trying to maintain a steady voice. "You can do so alone. I wish you luck." With that, you spun around and headed back to the home you had made. Sloshing footsteps and swinging branches told you that he was stumbling right behind.

"Hold on!" He called after you. You were nearly running, and you would've kept going, but this was the only social interaction you would get for who knew how long. You rolled your eyes and slowed so he could catch up. "It's dangerous out here alone," he warned.

You slowly turned around and rolled your eyes. "Is it?" you scoffed and took in a deep breath while you tried to get your thoughts together. "Listen, I do appreciate the offer, but I have no interest in heading back to anywhere the Jedi Council is."

"What do you mean back?" he questioned. "You mean you've been there before?"

You glared at him. "Do the Jedi now find things easy to forget?" you felt yourself shaking and tried desperately to stand completely still. You're not mad at him, you told yourself. You knew you shouldn't be mad at all, but it grew more difficult the more he spoke.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what you're talking about," Anakin apologized. "But at least let me take you to a safer, more populated planet." You almost laughed now.

Gesturing to land around, you responded, "Even if I wanted to leave, how would we?" Anakin looked around.

"I'd find a way," He insisted. You knew there was really nothing he could do, but you liked his determination.

Still, you weren't sold on the idea of returning. "Well," you started hesitantly. "If you're going to find a way back, you'll need a place to stay." You gestured for him to follow you. He was surprisingly good at navigating through the mud. He knew exactly where to step and where not to. You guessed it was the Force showing him the way. It had for you, too, before you memorized the land. When you got to the lake that was not far from your tree house, you made Anakin scrub off all the sand off his arms and neck.

When you made it back to your home you showed Anakin the way up the tree. "You built this?" He asked you once he was at the top.

You nodded proudly. "It took me a while, but it finally came together." You ran your hand across the railing you had put up. You were rather proud of your work and had a right to be. It was sturdy and homely which was perfect for where you lived. "You could probably stay just outside my kitchen for now. Tomorrow I'll have to make a proper bed for you."

Anakin nodded to show he understood then looked questioningly at you. "If I'm going to stay here, I need to know your name."

You had completely forgotten to introduce yourself! You scolded yourself inwardly. "Y/N," you told him.

He smiled "Thank you for offering your home to me, Y/N" You knew he was just being polite. He wouldn't have the comfort of a bed like the one you had made, and you couldn't make one now. You didn't have the items you would need, and it was getting too dark to gather any.

"I recommend you don't leave the house until dawn," you suggested. "The creatures here love the dark."

"I wont," he assured you. Even though he was a Jedi, you knew you couldn't leave him to figure that out on his own.

You would help him the best you could. You didn't hate him. In fact, you found it hard to dislike him. But it was impossible to ignore his title: Jedi. Just thinking the name made you shudder. You wished him a good night, and Anakin took his robe off and lay down on one of your pillows. He pulled the robe over himself to stay warm and you went to your moss bed. It was actually a nice, comfortable bed that took you a while to complete. You looked over at Anakin who was still awake, staring up at the sky, and your stomach twisted. He wanted to go home, but you couldn't help him do that. The best you could do was make sure he didn't freeze, starve, or get killed by ravenous animals, so that's what you would do. You would keep him alive until he could get back home.

________________________________________________________________________________

You woke up earlier than usual and dressed quickly. You decided to go hunting in hopes of finding some meat to balance out the root stew you would make. As you slipped the cotton shirt over your head, you realized that you didn't have any extra clothes for Anakin to change into, and his clothes were still covered in mud that had dried over. Surely, it wasn't a comfortable way to live. You walked over to Anakin who was fidgeting and stirring in his sleep. You would have to make him a change of clothes as soon as possible.

You grabbed your spear and knife and climbed down the tree easily. You wanted to do this quickly so you could start working on the other projects Anakin's arrival had made for you. You waited at some rocks near the lake with your knife in hand. Nudj, you knew, were lizard-like creatures that stayed around this area. You had only killed a few before, but they weren't bad. When a brave nudj climbed the rocks you quickly threw your knife and pierced it's skin. It thrashed for a second before falling still. You knew the alarm it let out would warn the others and keep you from getting anymore from there. You retrieved the knife and nudj and headed to a different patch of rocks. You repeated this pattern four more times until you had three of the lizards to take back. You jogged back to the tree and climbed up. Anakin was awake.

"Good morning," you called to him. His face was pale and there were beads of sweat on his forehead. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Yes, I'm fine." You looked him over worriedly. Treating disease was not something you could cram into today. Deciding to leave him be, you started preparing a stew from roots herbs and the nudj you caught earlier. Anakin came up to you and watched for a little bit.

You turned to him while the stew cooked. "Have you figured out how you'll be getting back?" you questioned.

He shook his head. "No, I haven't, but I'll find a way," he answered confidently. Surely he knew he wouldn't be able to. The only thing that flew on the planet were the bogwings, and you didn't want to mess with them.

"I'll have to make you a change of clothes," you told him. "I'll do that after we eat." You turned back to the food and stirred it.

"Thank you," Anakin said. You pointed to a small pot you had sitting by.

"If you're going to stay here though," you announced. "You'll have to help and boil some of that water."

He smiled and took the full pot to a small fire you had going.

After you and Anakin had finished eating, you walked over to a bin where you kept thread and fabric. You hadn't expected to use it really so you were happy you found a use for it. You sent Anakin to wash the dishes, but it didn't keep him busy for long. He came to where you were working.

"Tell me about the time you were with the Jedi council," he requested.

You stiffened. Of course, he would be curious, but you didn't want to talk about it. You just wanted him to have a magical solution to leave and do so. You hesitated, trying to play out the conversation in your head.

"When I was younger," you started. "All I wanted to be was a Jedi. I looked up to them and my parents did too." A lump formed in your throat. "They noticed me, finally, and I trained for a long time until I became a Padawan. I wasn't long after that my parents were killed. I couldn't preform as well as they wanted me to. I could only think about them, hoping they would come back. It devastated me, and at times, I even felt resentment--hatred. You know that's not acceptable for Jedi." You inhaled deeply and wiped a tear from your cheek with your fingertips. "They expelled me, and I left. I was angry with the council." You gritted your teeth. "I was angry with Master Yoda."

Anakin looked puzzled. "Master Yoda is very wise," he defended. "I'm sure he had a good reason."

You wiped your face and looked at him reasonably. "Master Yoda has it all wrong," you argued. "There has never once been a Jedi who has kept to the code completely. Our emotions make us human, and those that embrace that are the ones he wants to get rid of. He can't turn us into his mindless, emotionless robots to fight his battles for him."

Anakin was silent. The whole time you were talking your hands were working on the outfit for him.

"But never mind," you attempted a smile. "I finished your outfit." You turned around while Anakin switched his clothes. When he was finished you turned back to see your work. You laughed out loud. The clothes looked absolutely ridiculous. They were baggy and blended into each other making it look like one piece.

"Well, it's a start," he teased, smiling. "At least now I'm not covered in sand from head to toe."

You made a note to yourself to practice your seamstress skills later.

You had just finished the bed for Anakin when the sun sank behind the trees. He slept on it well the first night, but he grew restless from nightmares that not even the most comfortable of beds could fix. You often had to sit by his bed with a cold cloth to calm him. He told you they were of his mother. He had to watch her die over and over again every night and it made him miserable. You did the best you could, but that wasn't much. There were nights when he would wake up suddenly, and you would have to speak quietly and soothingly to him until he could fall asleep again. At first it bothered you, but it troubled you more now.

Anakin had stayed with you for two weeks before a ship landed right next to the lake where you were gathering water one day. You dropped the bucket and ran to the ship. The door opened and a light-haired, bearded man emerged confidently. His eyes were tired but that didn't change how he acted.

"Hello there!" he called to you. "Allow me to introduce myself: I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi. Could you give me a hand with something?" Stunned you nodded and beckoned him forward. "I'm sorry about landing here without permission. I didn't think this planet was populated. I'll leave soon, but I seem to have lost something and I need help finding it," he explained.

"What did you loose?" you asked him, though you could already guess. Obi-Wan looked at you warily.

"His name is Anakin Skywalker."

You froze. When Anakin arrived, the thought that he might have someone looking for him hadn't even occurred to you. He was back at the tree house preparing food for the both of you. You weren't sure if you should get him or not. As if he heard his name called Anakin came running up from behind you.

Obi-Wan perked up. "Anakin!" He called cheerfully. "I'm glad you're alive, Anakin. You had us all worried." Despite the fact that this man had brought Anakin a way home, he didn't look all that happy.

"You shouldn't have come for me, Master." Anakin said. "You could've saved supplies and time going on without me."

"Anakin don't talk like that," Obi-Wan commanded. "You are my friend, and I will not leave you like that."

Obi-Wan looked at you. "I thank you for any help you have given my young apprentice. You will be paid in whatever currency you find acceptable." He turned back to Anakin. "Let's go, Anakin. Master Yoda will be happy to know you're alright."

Your heart sank. Anakin had found a way to leave after all. This is what you wanted. You reminded yourself. Once he's gone, life will be normal again. Boring and normal. You didn't want him to go now, but what could you do? It was Anakin's decision, and he was already following his master. You stood there waiting for the ship to take off, but it never did. In fact the door opened once again and both of them walked out.

"Is everything okay?" You questioned with a small glimmer of hope that the ship might not start. Anakin was looking much happier now and Obi-Wan more upset.

"It appears," Obi-Wan spoke first. "That Anakin will be staying with you," he explained.

You looked at Anakin who was next to you now.

"Are you serious?" you asked quietly, though your heart was beating rapidly.

He looked up at Obi-Wan. "Thank you for your training, Master," he said respectfully. Obi-Wan nodded blankly.

"I don't know what I'll tell the council," he said almost talking to himself.

Anakin smiled. "I'm sure you'll think of something," he assured. Obi-Wan looked up and smiled.

"Yes, well, I'll still have to pay you, Y/N," he said. "I'll go and get whatever supplies you'll need." He looked at Anakin again and laughed. "And good heavens hopefully some proper clothes." You both laughed merrily. You felt wonderful and couldn't stop smiling.

Obi-Wan left and Anakin hugged you tightly.

"You're really staying," you whispered.

He chuckled. "Yes, I am." He pulled away and looked into your eyes. "You were right, Y/N. I shouldn't try to push any emotions aside anymore." He rested his hand on your cheek. "I love you, Y/N." He grabbed your hand. "Let's go home."

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mytwistedhome · 4 years ago

Text

Pomefiore and Ignihyde when they find out you have Anorexia

Trigger warning to anyone who suffers with an eating disorder!!

I decided to write these headcanons because I've been having a really tough two weeks, and thinking of the twst boys makes me happy...

I hope this can maybe bring comfort to someone else, or at least provide some bit of entertainment. My intention is not to cause harm or trigger anyone. That is the last thing I want.

Other dorms will be coming as well! I already started working on all of them, but I just haven’t finished them. They will most likely be posted the next time I have a bad day //

One more quick thing: I will be posting requests this week! I’ve already broken several promises that I made in regards to the time I’d post, and I feel horribly guilty. I’m sorry for the wait. I know I shouldn’t tell you to expect something on a certain day and then delay it for weeks. I should be honest about my efficiency, and I am sorry.

I'm also sorry for not responding to message (this applies to all my blogs...) I see them, but then forget about them, and then cower away because I feel like I'm already too late. I hope this little apology is enough to suffice... I'll apologize properly to every person when I find the courage. I know I shouldn't be doing this to people who've been kind to me just because I feel unwell. Please know that I am very sorry, and I'm trying to be more responsible and less careless to those around me.

💜

Vil Shoenheit

So that's why your skin is so dry and you have bags under your eyes

He scolds you at first. He believes that you’re starving to get a good figure, and he tries to inform you that doing so is unhealthy and that being malnourished actually makes a person quite ugly.

As if you haven’t already heard all this before

You try to tell him that you’re not doing this to look good. At least, not anymore. Sure, it started out as a way to lose weight, but it soon became an obsession much more meaningful than beauty or weight-loss.

He doesn’t understand. Why would you deliberately hurt yourself like that? Especially when you’re aware of all these negative outcomes?

Nevertheless, he is still very worried about you

He wouldn't normally concern himself with such a personal problem, but he would feel so guilty if he just stood back and watched you whither away

So, he does, indeed, go out of his way to try and help you

He finds a psychology book about eating disorders in the library, and he reads it in its entirety

He is... quite disturbed. He never imagined that you could be suffering so badly.

He's smart enough to realize that he, himself, can't do anything to make you better

He encourages you to seek professional help, and he even searches for phone numbers you can call and therapists/counselors close by of whom you can see

You are really touched by his efforts to find help, and you promise him that you will see one of the counselors he recommended

But... several weeks go by, and you haven't done anything

Vil grows furious. Don’t you want help!?

He takes your lack of seeking help rather personally... He went out of his way to provide with the things he felt that you really needed. Don’t you appreciate that? Don’t you care about yourself? What more do you want him to do?

You try to tell him that you don’t want him to do anything, that you’ll find help when you’re ready--

Vil isn’t buying that

What does “ready” mean, anyways? When you’re already in the grave?

He’s a bit harsh on you... He points out the patches of dry skin along your neck and chest, the way the hairs of your arms always stand on end from goosebumps, the metallic taste in your mouth...

Are you happy with those things? Do you really want to live this way?

You try and try to explain to him that it’s hard to get help and go back to eating normally

It spirals into an argument...

Vil is done with this. He did what he could and got you the resources you need to begin recovery. Once you decide to get help, he will be there for you. He will be there whenever you reach out for support, comfort, or care. But, until then, don’t talk to him about it. Don’t complain about your misery until you have sought proper help. It’s your fault at this point, isn’t it?

Rook Hunt

He had noticed that you were very quickly losing a lot of weight

He was concerned, but he never imagined that the problem could be something so serious

You're actually surprised with just how much he's concerned. You thought that if there was anyone to romanticize such a disease, it would be him

But he seems to know more than you thought about such disorders

He begs you to get professional help, and he is quite a bit more pushy and earnest than Vil is...

You try to explain to him that no doctor or therapist could ever help unless you were READY and WANTED to be helped

Well, he doesn't understand why you don't want help

He's pushing and pushing you... begging you to seek a professional

You get so frustrated that you turn and leave. He just doesn't understand!

And now Rook is even more distressed. How will he ever get through to you? How can he ever help you?

Now, every time he sees you, he looks at you with such sorrow

He sadly remarks upon how your beauty is fading... and how he fears that your life may be fading as well

Your heart aches to hear such sincere worry... Your chest feels tighter than it normally does as you crumble with guilt

You promise yourself you'll get better... Just so you won't have to see Rook with a horribly sad expression whenever he passes you

You start eating more in front of him to ease his worry, which does work a little bit

You add about 400 more calories to your usual intake--enough so that your "recovery" becomes visible through the way you bounce with energy

But you stay up late at night, running laps and doing situps to burn off some of that intake

And you keep losing weight

In fact, it's worse now because your body is aching from the unfamiliar intake and exercise...

Well, at least you look better

At least you have Rook fooled

Or so you think. It'll only be a matter of weeks before he catches onto your schemes and grows so distressed once again

He tries to sit you down and have a talk with you... He just really wants you to get help

Epel Felmier

Poor Epel finds out after he witnesses you collapsing in the middle of the hallway when no one else is around

He panics and rushes to your side, trying to see what is wrong and how he can help you

You blacked out for several seconds, which is why you collapsed, but even though you have your vision back, everything is still very cloudy and you are too weak to stand up

This makes Epel panic even more

You try to calm him down, despite your weakness

"it's okay, Epel...! Just get me something to eat. Please, I need something to eat. Hurry!"

He is a bit confused, but he does what you say, and he rushes off to find you some food

While he is gone, you try to stand, but to no avail. Your stomach aches with hunger and you are cold all over. Your body just feels so miserable

He rushes back to you with an apple and places his hands on your shoulders in concern as you quickly eat it down

That apple... It's the best thing you've ever tasted, but it's gone too quickly, and your mouth waters for more as the last bites slide down your throat

Although it was small, it still gives your body such a blissful burst of energy. All your senses are ignited now that you have finally eaten something after such a long fast, and your head is hurting far less

You stand up and smile at Epel, thanking him graciously before turning to leave

Uuuhhhhh.... What was that?

You suddenly collapse on the ground and then are all better after eating a simple apple?

No way is Epel going to let you go just like that. He holds you back, demanding an explanation, for it surely seems you know quite a bit about this bizarre thing that just happened

You try to tell him it's nothing, just a strange thing that happened this one time

Well, then, how did you know how to fix it by eating something?

You quickly lie and tell him you get dizzy sometimes and fall due to low blood sugar

Well, now your story is inconsistent

He presses you for the truth, growing rather angry

His harsh tone begins to scare you, and you tell him... You tell him that, sometimes, you go days without eating, and it of course causes you to grow so weary that you faint

You watch as all the frustration quickly rushes away from Epel's face, leaving his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in shock

"That... That's really unhealthy..."

Oh, great. Not this speech again

But, it actually isn't a lecture about how this is such a "dangerous diet"

Instead, Epel pours out all his concern with a sad look upon his face

He knows that he can't do much, but he assures you that you can come to him if ever things become too tough to handle

You're touched by his offer, and you thank him for his understanding

But, now, everytime he's around, he watches you with care to see if you're doing alright and to make sure you don't fall over again

You hadn't expected him to worry this much...

If Epel ever thinks that things are getting out of hand, he will likely go behind your back to someone who can help for your sake

💙

Idia Shroud

He really wishes that he hadn't found out because now he can't stop worrying

This is the kind of thing that would just be easier to ignore and shut away from his mind

But how could he possibly ignore something as serious as this?

He keeps telling himself that this isn't supposed to be his issue

But... It is his issue, isn't it? If you ended up dying and he knew all along about your suffering yet did nothing to help, than that would mean that he aided in your death, right?

He's really starting to panic. He doesn't what you dead. Not at all

But... What is he supposed to do???

He calms himself down and tries to think

Perhaps if he built you a mechanical body that didn't need food this whole thing would seize to be a problem...

No, bad idea

Well, that will be his last resort if nothing else works...

He messages you and tries to plead with you to please just eat and take care of yourself...

You message back, explaining to him that it really isn't that simple

He decides to ask why you're doing this, and he tries to show through his words how much he really cares

You feel comfortable enough in telling him some of the reasons why you think you started, and why it's now so hard to stop and all you want is to continue with it...

Idia is happy that you were able to open up to him this much, but what is he really supposed to do with this information? He's no therapist...

Well, being vulnerable with you emotions and talking about the problem is at least one step in the right direction, isn't it?

Idia continues to try to be a source of comfort for you, while also encouraging you to seek proper help

Ortho Shroud

Oh, no... He can’t help you with this, can he?

Why can’t he help you? Why won’t you get better?

Surely nii-san programmed him with something that could help you...

Right...?

RIGHT!?

Why aren’t you better?

Why are you doing this to yourself!?

Ortho is a mess... so distressed. He can’t understand--he doesn’t have the capacity to understand such a disorder, and he is so frustrated that nothing he does is helping!

And he does everything

He exhausts himself trying to “fix your mind”

His eyes are wide, yellow irises shaking with misery

Knowing that you are willingly hurting yourself actually traumatizes him...

He can't wrap his head around such an awful mental illness. To him, it looks as though you're really trying to harm, hurt, and even kill yourself by your own accord

Something must be wrong with your brain, but he just doesn't know what!

The poor child is so upset. He's panicked and worried sick

And now you feel even worse

Sorry for ending on such a horrible note... I was originally going to have all the dorms, so Diasomnia would’ve come and saved the day, but I just didn’t finish them.

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minyoonkeeks · 5 years ago

Text

Late Night Maintenance // JJK

Pairing : JJK X Reader (F)

Genre: Smut/Fluff

Warnings : good old vanilla sex in all aspects, there's some oral and pretty much it. Nothing triggering (:

A/N: I know I said I was starting my new series, but my good friend who I originally wrote this fic for, finally read it. It's my first smut fic ever, and generally the second one I've even written. I've reread it and there are things I wish I could word better, but it's a growth process so I'm happy with it right now. Please let me know if you liked it (:

_________

"Yeah sure I can work with that schedule. Thank you so much for working with us, we will get the prompts out to you by the end of the week"

You quickly hung up the phone and organized your desk. It was you vacation getaway with your best friends from your hometown. All of you grew up together but when college started, you chose to stay and help out in the family travel business to get your photography started. It wasn't as big of a deal to you than to the other girls who wanted you to go with them, but it made your getaway trips legendary.

Hence why you were on your way, bolting to the airport to get on the first flight to Hong Kong. It was insane how quickly everything came together. Your best friend Lia's boyfriend Yoongi was on a special trip out during the time of your trip and was able to secure 3 more tickets for you, your other friend Becca and her boyfriend Hoseok. You only had 2 weeks to get everything ready and packed as much as you could for your week out in another country. To be honest, being at home started to feel stifling and you really wanted to see if your photography would get you anywhere else. It wasn't that you didn't love home, but it was obvious that nothing would happen if you stayed in your bubble.

So off you were, 1 week in Hong Kong with your best friends and all on their boyfriend's dime. It was odd, while Lia had Yoongi, Becca had Hoseok, and you weren't feeling any vibes from anyone. It didn't upset you, but you knew if you stayed any longer you'd end up marrying that creep from down the street who would stare at you whenever you made any trips out of your house. This was the perfect opportunity. You would see if your photography fared with any other artists, and just maybe you'd be able to get rid of some of those bad love juju vibes everyone said you had.

"C'mon don't be like that!" Becca yelled while she finished getting ready in the bathroom. "Yeah we can't have our annual dinner without you!" Lia whined as she hugged your leg, causing it to fall asleep from how hard she was grabbing at it. "I just feel a little off. I love the guys, I do, but I don't wanna be third wheeling. I promise, we'll go out together another time. Just take today and go be in love you babies." You sighed as you changed the channel on the TV. Quickly a hotel promotion popped up for a night in at Disney Hong Kong, courtesy of the swanky hotel concierge team since you were in a hotel suite. "Look I can go to Disney at night! You know I've always wanted to go see the castle, and it's special hours for us. See I have something to do, so get ready so I can be on my way!" You feigned enthusiasm so they could get the hint and leave you alone. You really didn't want to sit through 2 hours of making out on one end and cutesy talk on the other. It was bad enough on the plane ride having to sit through it while everyone gave you pity looks and to deal with it tonight would be a no thanks since tomorrow the boys were off to do their business venture and you'd be with just the girls. "Fine, but if we come back and you are still here watching netflix in your pajamas you are dead meat." Lia stared at you, you knew she meant business, especially when she wasn't getting what she wanted. There wasn't any getting out of it either. You weren't planning on going, but 10 minutes into your Strong Girl Bong Soon rerun you thought, why the hell not? There wasn't anything stopping you, and it was free. You changed into a long sleeve with your favorite overalls decided to grab your camera and go down to see what Disney was about.

The ride to the park was quiet. You really didn't think you'd be one of 3 people in the van going to late night Disney. It was Disney, you know? Happiest place on earth? But you guessed it was because it was almost midnight that you'd have most of the park to yourself. There was an older man driving who you counted as one because otherwise you'd have to acknowledge that you were sitting next to an incredibly good looking man. He wore black tshirt over some jeans and you could tell he wasn't really looking at anything, kind of like he was lost in his own mind. As you sat down, he jolted up and looked right at you, big brown doe eyes full of innocence. You face flushed, how couldn't it, when smiled at you and very cooley said, "Hi, don't mind me, please sit." You had just about choked on air from how beautiful he smiled after talking. And so you sat in silence, trying not to fidget too much, so he wouldn't notice your awkwardness. When you finally arrived, you realized just how alone you'd be. The massive entryway only had 1 lane open and there were no cars passing by to drop off or pick up non existent passengers.

"Don't worry, it's open." The ridiculously cute boy said as he looked at you, smiling a huge bunny smile. You couldn't help but notice him now. Tall, really tall, and although he was wearing a large shirt, you could clearly see defined muscles making your eyebrows lift up from the surprise, and hoping he didn't notice. But clearly he did as he smirked giving you your once over.

"Oh, and you know this how?" You asked, trying not to sound too out of control from how your brain wanted grab his arms as a reflex to see if he was really built because you hadn't had any decent sex in so long. He stared at you for a second, trying to gage whether you were teasing him, or you genuinely wanted to know. "Oh, I work here. I'm helping renovate the castle with my uncle since I had some time off this summer and he needed the extra help. Most of the guests don't come out at this time since I guess they like to sleep." He chuckled to himself and you made a face worthy of laughter. Was he messing with you? "Honestly, I only came to get the churros and head out, thanks" you scoffed. You chuckled under your breath as you saw his reaction, clearly not expecting you to bite back at his teasing, or lame attempt at it anyway. You walked past him and into the park ignoring his eyes as he looked right at you, smug smile from being defeated at his own game.

The park was beautiful. Lights and rides lit up, although none of them were running at this hour for safety reasons. It was ok since you came to take photos anyway. You took your camera out of its case and began taking photos. It was so relaxing, for the first time feeling like your photos were yours and not solely for the purpose of putting them on a travel ad. You loved your job, I mean it was your parents blood, sweat, and tears that went into it, but it wasn't yours. It was their dream. And being here now, taking photos and being carefree for a second made you realize what you were missing out on.

"Beautiful, right?" You heard his voice behind you. Almost as if he was so close you could feel his breath on you, and for a second you had to get a hold of yourself. "Yeah, it's definitely out of this world" you mentioned, trying to keep the ache in your pants from making you choke on your words. He ends up right next to you staring curiously as you gaze out at the landscape and it's enough to make you lose your breath.

"C'mon, I'm not on a time crunch, I can show you around if you'd like. My name's Jungkook by the way." He smiles at you and extends a hand. You take notice at how he squeezes a little too hard and it makes you think of how it'd be like for him to squeeze your thighs to let him in and you have to snap out of it. "I'm ______, sure I could go for some company."

As he's explaining the buildings while you're taking photos, you can't help but feel him looking at you from time to time and it makes your knees weak. If it was day time, it probably wouldn't have the same effect, but something about the lights and the fact that he kept getting closer to you made you think about how his arms would feel around your waist, or how his torso would feel around your legs.

"And here's my stop." You quickly broke out of your thoughts to look up at the dark castle. He notices how you startle to his voice and laughs a little. "Oh, I didn't realize it was so soon. Thanks Jungkook, this was fun" you mumble back, cheeks red from where your thoughts were leading you. He looks flushed and for a second he's biting on his lip, making yours do the same. "You want to come look inside? There's a few rooms that don't have access for regular customers, but I can show you if you promise not to tell anyone." He nudges you, and you feel his muscles through his shirt, yeah definitely ripped, you thought. "Sure, as long as you'll let me take a few photos, I mean not like you own the place" you laugh awkwardly and slap his shoulder. He winks at you as you both start walking towards the gate.

As you walk in you have a great sense of… nothing. Its blank, gray walls coating the inside of something so beautiful on the outside. You see the lights through stained glass illuminating your pathway and you wonder for a second where all the illusion went. Jungkook is walking slowly behind you and you fail to notice when he puts his hand on your waist as he guides you in the dark. As you reach his work destination you see it's quiet and completely alone, but you aren't nervous. "It's kind of weird huh? We're supposed to be adding a terrace and it's already there but we're waiting on the designers to finish their sketching to continue. We're supposed to meet them tomorrow. Here, let me show you." He takes you hand and laces his fingers between yours as he guides you up to the terrace.

You get there and he holds you by the waist to pick you up. As you look out and see the view you can't help but feel how rough his hands are on your waist. You turn and stare at him gauging if it's your imagination, or if he wants the same thing you do. You shake the thoughts out of your head walking towards the edge to take a closer look around the park. You take a few photos, noticing how Jungkook stands behind you, leaning against a post. It kind of makes you take a second to breath, feeling like he's staring at you and not at the scenery around him. "Come sit with me" he calls out to you, and as you turned you saw him laying a blanket down. " Since I work night shifts, I usually spend my time listening to music and sitting here. It's pretty calm, and I like hearing the way the wind carries over." He sounds happy and you smile as you walk over to him sitting next to him. He grabs your hand and holds it, and at first it startles you, but seeing his smile as he lays back a little you can't help but wonder if he would be like this all the time. If this was how he treated his special someone. You talked for what felt like hours about your home, your job, and you ambitions. He would smile occasionally and tell you about his life. He wasn't actually from Hong Kong, but just working while he figured out where he wanted to go or do. You admired him for that, being free enough to go anywhere and do what he wanted without falling into pressure. "Why don't you come with me next time? I'll probably go back home to Korea for a few months and then set out somewhere, anywhere. We'd have a lot of fun." He remarked and looked at you, big brown eyes full of interest. It was different, feeling like you were meant to meet him tonight, and although you'd never make a rash decision, you couldn't help but love the idea of hanging out with him, taking photos, and having fun. It seemed too good to be true but you didn't let that get in the way.

You stand up and pull on his arm to help him up, Jungkook towering over you. "Sure, maybe one day, you never know." You smile at him. He's warm and sweet and yet you can't quite place what he's thinking as he squeezes your fingers between his as he jumps off the terrace.

He pulls you down slightly and places his hand behind your neck bringing you down to his eye level. You could smell his musky scent and moaned a little too loudly into him and his soft eyes quickly turned into lust. He took your face into his and kissed you, at first with so much yearning, that you couldn't help but open your mouth to let him in. " I've been waiting all night to do that." He smiled as he let go for a quick second before attaching himself to you again. He brought you down and sat you on the edge to kiss you harder and longer. You opened your legs to let him slide his body in between yours and you gasped when you felt his hardness brush against you. "Mmm Kook, me too" you whispered. He took that as an opportunity to let his tongue slip inside you again and you only moaned louder into him, making him smirk. As he pulled away he watched you, with dark lust filled eyes, as he spoke roughly. "You really couldn't wear something a little more convenient huh?" He said as he watched you catch your breath and slowly unbuckle your overalls. "I didn't really think I'd be fucking a hot ass guy at a palace, did I?" You chuckled as he went to suck on your collarbone. He went slowly up your neck sucking and leaving love marks, as you moaned in anticipation for what was next. "I knew I was going to fuck you from the moment I saw you get on the van" he growled into your ear and nibbled, "Well then, fuck me please" was all you could say before he crashed his lips back onto yours.

His hands quickly trailed down your sides, along your breasts, making you hitch your breath. He squeezed at your nipples between the fabric of your bra causing you to moan out his name in pure ecstasy. He tugged on the ends of your shirt and you lifted up your hands to let him take it off. As he stood back for a second, you started feeling anxious, but the look on his face gave away any inhibitions about what you wanted to do to him. You unclipped your bra staring right at him as you slowly took it off, watching as he devoured your body with his eyes. "This really is the most magical place on earth. You're gorgeous, come here" he said walking back towards you.

He started kissing your lips slowly, leaving love bites down your neck and into your chest. Once he reached your breast, he kissed around reaching your nipple and sucking on it making you gush between your thighs. He looked up to lock eyes with you and trailed the other hand between your legs to feel your heat. "I think it's time we take these off don't you think?" Jungkook said as he moved to take off the rest of your clothes.

As they hit the floor, Jungkook's lips were back nibbling on your nipple as his hand made his way back to your mound. There was no denying how aroused you were when he felt your slickness soaking through your panties. "Mmm, feels like I could fit right in already huh?" He said as he moved your panties to the side and slid his fingers through your slit, making you moan in response. "I want to see you too" you said as you tugged off his shirt. You ran your fingers over his defined muscles and kissed along his shoulder blade, smooth skin hot and cold at the same time.

"Lay down for me" he whispered as he tugged your panties off. He lowered himself to your thighs, kissing along and leaving a trail of bite marks, claiming every bit of your body that he could. Once he reached your core he trailed his tongue up your slit, bringing more moans out of you. "You like that baby?" He whispered as he licked once more, this time circling your clit with his tongue. You grabbed the back of his head as a reflex, and it only made him hungrier for your juices. He groaned into your pussy lips to suck on your clit. "Mmm, you taste so good baby, I could do this all night." His voice sounding an octave lower and full of sex. All you could do was moan, hearing him call you baby made a fresh wave of arousal hit you. 'More, I need more" was all you could say as Jungkook slipped a finger into your aching cunt. Your walls clenched his fingers, happy for the intrusion as your juices coated his finger when he started fucking you with it. Your moans getting louder, and his assault on your clit, making you grind into his face. You could feel him moving his stance and looked over for a second to see him palming his erection, waiting to be released. It made you so much wetter knowing that he was enjoying this just as much as you. He noticed you looking and slid a second finger provoking another loud moan from you. "You're so tight baby, I need to make sure you're ready for me" he said as he scissored his fingers into you. "I want to see you" you said between moans, earning another groan from him as he fucked you with both fingers. He curled them inside of you, hitting your sweet spot and making you gasp loudly only making him harder. "Cum in my mouth baby and I'll give you whatever you want" he whispered into you and began fucking you harder. Hearing those words were enough and soon you were toppling over the edge, seeing white and groaning out his name "Fuck , Kook!" Was the only coherent thing coming out of your mouth as you came. He kissed your cunt, stood up, juices covering his mouth and chin, as he smiled seductively, leaving your aching pussy wanting more. "That was so hot," He took your hands and pulled you up so you were meeting his chest. "Show me how much you want me"

You lowered yourself off the terrace, knees wobbly from how you body reacted to Jungkook, and held onto his jeans. Slowly kissing down his toned torso you skimmed the lining of his jeans to reach the buttons. Undoing the clasp, you looked kissed him roughly as he moaned into you. You pulled his jeans down slowly along with his boxers releasing him from the constraints of the fabric. As you got on your knees you let out a huge sigh. He was big, bigger and thicker than you have ever had. "You like what you see baby?" He whispered bringing it down and stroking it in front of you, making your pussy ache from the sight. He has a slight curve and he was red with how hard he was, precum droplets coming out of the slit. It looked delicious and all you could think about was how he would feel fucking your mouth. You looked up at him, and he was holding his breath to see what you would do. You smirked and licked from his balls up to the tip of his cock, feeling him tremble under your touch. You licked the precum off, slowly engulfing him in your mouth. He groaned and gripped onto the edge of the terrace as you started to bob your head, licking around the tip to give.him a little more. "Fuck ____ you look gorgeous, so beautiful baby. Take my cock in all the way." He hissed as you licked around his cockhead once more. There was no way he would fit completely inside your mouth, but as you pumped your mouth on him he grabbed your head and began fucking you mercilessly. "Fuck _____ it feels so fucking good. Your mouth feels like it was made for me to fuck it" his thrusting getting more intense only made your arousal come back faster and soon you were rubbing your clit with the same speed as his mouth fucking. You pulled away fast, sucking and popping him out of your mouth when he started getting sloppy, knowing that he was going to cum.

"Baby, I need you in me." Was all you could say as he picks you up and throws you back on the terrace, placing his body right between you on the edge. You could feel his rock solid erection throbbing close to your core. "I Don't have protection, didn't really think I needed it tonight you know?" He says, hunger in his eyes. "It's fine, I have a thing, keeps the babies away, just fuck me already" you moaned back waiting to see what he'd do. He brought his face close up to yours and kissed you hard, hard enough for you not to notice him rubbing his dick against your slit. "Good, it'll just make the sex even better" he whispered and slammed his dick into you, giving you no time to prepare. "Fucking hell, oh shit" was all you could say as he cradled you in his arms fucking you as if he'd prepared al alongl. It stung, more than you thought it would, but hearing his grunts and moans only made you want him to fuck you harder, and soon all you could feel was the intense pleasure from his dick slapping against your cunt. He nibbled on your ear as you repeatedly told him to fuck you faster and harder, wrapping your legs around him and holding on. "You're so fucking tight baby, just like I imagined. Even better. I can't wait to --ugh-- fucking spill everything in you, on you, everywhere." He cursed as he railed into you. He placed his hand between you and started rubbing circles around your clit bringing screaming moans out of you. "Kook, fuck me harder, I need more." Was all you could say. He trusted into you one last time before holding himself as deep as he could, trying to catch his breath, and trying even harder not to cum inside you yet. He pulled out, leaving you empty for a second and climbed on the terrace, pulling you down on top of him.

"Ride me, I want to see you ride me" he said panting. You aligned yourself on his cock, your lips slowly taking the head of his cock in as he looked with full lust in his eyes. "This is fucking amazing, you're so fucking beautiful" he gulped as you took him in inch by inch, moaning into him and dropping down giving him a kiss. It wasn't rough, just sexual and intimate, and you moaned out his name slowly grinding against him. He grabbed your thighs, the rough sweaty texture of him making you clench around him even more as you slowly roll your hips against his. "You're gorgeous Kook, let me look at you" you softly tell him as you move his sweaty hair from his face making him blush. He makes his way to your breasts and squeezes them gently making soft whimpers from where he wants to fuck into you. You lower your body and he takes a nipple into his mouth slowly circling and biting the perky nub, "yeah, just like that" you whisper as your fucking goes from intense and rough to sensual and intimate as you get closer to your release. He brings your hips lower into him, feeling his cock reach areas you hadn't ever felt someone reach and making you wimper and fuck back into him harder. "Yeah just like that baby, make yourself feel good for me. -mmmm- I want to feel you cum on my cock" he groans in small broken sentences, getting sloppier by the second. It only turns you on even more to hear him talk like that so you're grinding onto him harder. You grab the nape of his neck and pull him up with you as you move your legs around his waist. It gives him access to start fucking harder into you, holding your hips down as you ride him, unable to control your moans. He kisses you, hungrily, as if he's asking for something, and soon you grab onto him, seeing white, and feeling the pressure snap and release into pure bliss. "Fuck ____ you look so beautiful cumming for me, don't stop." You hear him through your orgasm as you go in for a kiss. He takes it and moans as he releases into you, spilling his seed inside and coating your walls. He rides out his orgasm, leaving you sensitive and holding tightly to his back to steady yourself. "Wait, too much." You say, panting into his neck.

As you slowly stop he turns and looks at you, his face happy and smiling, unable to contain himself as he kisses you again. "That was way better than working tonight, " he jokes and soon you're both laughing into each other. You nudge him playfully and rest your head on his shoulder,leaning back to lay down over the terrace. He takes his shirt and drapes it over you, and you can't tell when, but you fall asleep.

When you wake up in the morning, groggy from your late night escapade you see Jungkook shuffling away and cleaning the area. "Here, we're late. My uncle and our associates are coming to look at our progress. I'm gonna need you to go out the back," he says as he hands you your clothes, pulling you up to get ready. You quickly put on everything and follow him out the back way. He looks at you, kind of like he wants to say something, but instead kisses your forehead. "What was that?" You chuckle, cheeks reddening from the sudden intimacy. "For making my job ten times better last night." He says laughing and pulling you into a quick hug. "Oh that? No problem, anytime" you say and you eyes widen at the comment clearly stupid enough to come out of your mouth. "Yeah, I'd like that. Here, take my number call me when you get a chance to go out. And I don't mean just to do last night, although, I'd like that too" he laughs as he's trying not to blush. "Thanks, I'll see you around." You tell him as you walk out and towards the gate of the park.

By the time you get back to the hotel, all you want to do is sleep on your warm bed and bask in the way it felt to be touched by Jungkook. You let out a huge sigh and plop down only to feel someone tugging at your legs. "_____ !! What are you doing?? Where have you been? Wake up, we have somewhere to go. I promise you'll like it. " Lia says as she's tugging at you. "I told you I was going out. Where are we going? You didn't mention anything before" you groaned as you kicked her legs away wanting to engulf yourself in the pillows. "Come on, it'll be fun I promise." Becca said as she turned the shower on and Lia dragged you into it. "Wear something cute we're going out to celebrate Yoongi and Hobi making cash! They got the contract and are taking us out!" "Ugh fine, only if you'll let me come back early. I'm tired." You sighed making your way to the restroom and getting ready against your better judgement.

Once you got out of the taxi you walked into the diner looking through your purse and bumping into something hard. "Sorry, I didn't mean to," you reply as Lia's pulling you back . "It's ok " you hear a voice say and suddenly your eyes open wide and you look up. "____ this is Jungkook, sorry about that bro, sometimes she gets lost her headspace" Yoongi mentioned as you looked bewildered at the scene before your eyes. "It's fine, hey ____ nice to meet you, I'm Jungkook" he smiles wide as you take his hand and blush unintentionally at the contact. Lia and Becca share glances and giggle telling the boys to go sit down so you could have a moment.

"What's going on" you say as you feel him tangle his fingers through yours. He gets close enough to not cause any suspicion but enough to put his hand around your waist and caress your side. " I didn't think it'd be appropriate to tell them I knew you as the girl who fucked me last night. Let's keep that between us, but…" he paused and got closer to your ear whispering, "this definitely makes things easier don't you think?"

#jk #jk x reader #jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts jungguk #jeon jungguk #jungkook fanfic #jungkook imagine #bts imagines

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nxnoire · 5 years ago

Text

Desiderium

Depression

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug

part 1 part 3

my second prompt for @badthingshappenbingo

———

Nathalie knocked on Adrien's door, wondering why the teen hadn't left his room yet. Adrien heard the knock, but it didn't register in his mind. It was a sound in the background of the noise in his mind. The tears in his eyes were a trillion times louder than the whisper of the knock.

Plagg nudged him, trying to gain any sort of reaction. "Adrien, you need to get up," he urged.

He looked his the black kwami with a blank expression. Blinking, he stood up and made his way over to the door.

Nathalie opened the door just as Adrien made his way to it. "It's time for school, Adrien."

"I'm staying home. I don't feel well," he said with a hoarse voice. He sniffled and rubbed his eyes, drying the ocean under his eyes.

Nathalie nodded and let him be, shutting the door without a sound. Adrien walked like a zombie back to his bed. He crawled under the warm covers, their calls irresistible in his state.

Plagg flew to his face. "What are you doing?"

"I'm staying home. There's no point in going, anyway."

"But–" Adrien turned over, cutting his kwami off. Plagg sighed, knowing Adrien was in no mood to argue. "Whatever helps you, Adrien."

At school, Marinette was getting overly worried. Adrien never missed school. His immune system was almost impenetrable, and on the off chance he did get sick, he always forced himself to go to school. Whatever he came down with must have been serious if it made him stay home that day.

Nino turned around to face the girls behind him. "Have you guys heard from Adrien?"

"No," both girls replied.

He hummed in thought. "He might be sick then."

"Or maybe he had an early photoshoot today," Alya suggested.

"No, he doesn't," Marinette chimed in. She knew every single photoshoot he would have for the next year, and his next one wasn't until tomorrow. Today was one of his only free days.

Alya couldn't help but smirk. "Oh, it's not on your calendar?"

Her pressing tone made Marinette stutter. "Ah, no-it's not-it's not like that!" Could she being herself to tell her best friends that she kept a calendar of everybody's events so she knew exactly where they were in case of an akuma attack? "I...uh-I never heard him say anything about-about a shrotopoot–I mean photoshoot!"

Nino shook his head with a smile. "I'm sure he just got a cold or something." He turned back around and prepared for class.

Alya smiled and listened as Miss Bustier began her lesson. Marinette followed suit, hoping Adrien was feeling okay.

———

"Adrien, it's time for lunch," Nathalie said, standing in front of the sleeping teen.

Adrien's eyes fluttered open, squinting at the bright sunlight filtering through his windows. He rubbed his eyes and looked at her, blinking to fix his blurry vision. He knew his father wouldn't be there, so what was the point of going? Hunger had abandoned his body, replaced by a comfortable emptiness. Eating was so much work. Why eat when he could just lay there and disappear?

"I'm not hungry," he muttered.

"If you're sick, food will only help you," Nathalie advised.

Arguing with the woman would only end with him losing. He gave in and got up, pausing as the world temporarily faded as blood rushes back to his head. Once the light-headedness stopped, he followed Nathalie to the lonely dining room.

He sat down in his chair in silence. His eyes fell to the meal waiting for him. It disgusted him. Whatever appetite he had left had run off somewhere to play games with the joy that had been exiled from his body. Hesitantly, he picked up his fork and looked at Nathalie, who was looking at her tablet.

She didn't look like his mother. Not one bit. Yet, he was supposed to believe she was mother figure in his life now. She loved him as if he were her son. He was supposed to love her like family as well but–

Tears brimmed at his eyes.

Why was he crying? What had he been crying all morning? He leaned to push through the dark and twisty depression. Was that not enough? Was being happier not enough?

A tear rolled down his cheek. He rubbed it away, trying to hide his sadness.

Why did he feel so horrible? Why couldn't he stop the urge to cry?

The dam he had been holding back for so long finally burst. He dry heaved, causing him to cover his mouth. Quickly, he stood up and ran out of the room, ignoring Nathalie's calls for him.

Tears rained down from his eyes. Without stopping, he ran into his bedroom and into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. He fell back against the door and slid to the ground. Almost like instinct, he brought his knees to his chest and hugged them. In that moment he wished for the warmth his mother would always give him when she would hug him.

He was so touch-starved that it hurt. He missed her so much that it brought him physical pain. A thousand bricks sat upon his chest, but how could he possibly feel anything if there was a gap that replaced his heart?

Plagg stood on the other side of the door, deeply saddened by Adrien's depression. He knew that he couldn't do anything to help Adrien. Adrien needed professional help, but he didn't know how to bring it to him.

Nathalie walked into the empty room, hoping to help Adrien. Plagg noticed and flew into his camembert cabinet quickly. She blinked, thinking she had seen something fly by. Her eyes were just playing tricks on her, she figured. It didn't faze her. She walked over to the door and prepared to knock, but heard sobs erupting from the quiet room.

She stopped.

Adrien wasn't sick. He was in pain.

She knew it was due to his mother's absence. What other reason could it be for? There was now way he found out that Gabriel was Hawkmoth. It was impossible. With all of the precautions both parties took to hide any and all evidence, there was no way anybody should have been able to figure it out.

She knocked on the door. "Adrien..." What was she supposed to say? "I..."

"Go away."

"Adrien, I want to help–"

"I don't care."

Nathalie sighed. "Is it about your mother?" No answer. What else did she expect? "I'm going to talk to your father about this. I hope he will make time to talk to you." She turned and left, knowing very well Gabriel wouldn't be able to make time.

She hoped that Gabriel wouldn't change his mind and take advantage of Adrien's negative emotions. If he did, it would only harm the teen. The emotional effects of being akumatized were familiar to her. Even though she had wanted to be akumatized into Catalyst she felt negatively after she turned back to her regular self. It would be too much for Adrien to handle.

In the bathroom, Adrien leaned his head against the door, feeling worse than before. The tears had finally stopped flowing. Perhaps he had become numb to all of the pain again. For the time being, at least. The same thing would happen over again. He was stuck in an infinite loop of pain and suffering. There was no way to get out. He'd keep drowning in the cold waters, slowly inching towards death until the Grim Reaper finally arrived to take him to a safer place.

To a place with his mother.

Maybe that was the way out.

His thoughts came to a halt. He shook his head, wondering what had just come over him. Did he consider death? There was so much he had to do here. Even if he wanted to go, he couldn't.

But, it'd take all of the burden off his shoulders. Ladybug didn't even need her. She had proven time and time again that she could save Paris without him. Paris would be fine without him. Chat Noir didn't need to be here. Adrien Agreste would be better off disappearing. No more paparazzi. No more attention. No more stress.

His eyes widened. Was he seriously considering death?

No. He didn't want to die. He couldn't permanently leave this place. Even if it's be beneficial to him, he would want to come back to the life he built for himself.

He stood up and looked in the mirror at his disheveled self. For once, his image of perfect had dissolved with the tears. Thank god. He hated being perfect.

Was it possible to disappear for a while? He could run away as Chat Noir, but then he'd have to be on constant guard to maintain his hideout. Ladybug would need his help, and there was no way he could hold himself back from helping her.

There was another knock at the door.

"What do you want?" Adrien asked, his voice hoarse and quiet. He was tired of Nathalie bugging him. He was tired of people.

"Adrien," Gabriel said from behind the door.

Adrien's heart skipped a beat. His father had actually decided to come out his office to come talk to him! For once, his father cared enough to help him. Or did he? He paused, his hand hovering over the doorknob. "Are you here to lecture me again?" Adrien asked, trying not to get his hopes up.

"No. I'm here to talk."

He grabbed the doorknob and opened the door. In front of him was a sad face. Before Adrien could say anything, Gabriel embraced him a hug, something Adrien hadn't received from him in a long time.

Once they broke the hug, they walked over to his couch in silence and sat down. Adrien was hesitant to speak up, but he didn't have to.

"I know you miss her," Gabriel began, "We all do." He sighed sadly. "But we have to keep moving. Because one day, everything will go back to normal."

Adrien looked at him, confused. "How can anything go back to the way it was? She's dead, father."

"Yes, but–" he cut himself off, keeping his secret identity hidden. "Emotionally, we can return to normal."

"I did, and now I'm over here thinking about death!" He exclaimed angrily. His eyes widened. He wasn't one to raise his voice at others, and he hadn't meant to tell his father about that, either.

Gabriel looked at his son, ignoring the heavy statement. His eyes fluttered to the ring on his hand, which he had subconsciously began to toy with. Of course, he had ruled out the theory that Adrien was Chat Noir.

But thinking about it, maybe he was the young hero. The ring was the same. His depression could have been deepened by the weight of being Paris's hero.

Was it the right time to bring the question up? It was one of the only times he'd be able to. But was it really appropriate? His son was hurting and he was supposed to help him. However, if he was Chat Noir, he could get the Miraculous easily. He had to ask now. At least try.

"Adrien, I need to ask you something."

Adrien looked at his father, nodding.

"Are you Chat Noir?"

His stomach dropped to the floor. What was he supposed to say? If he said no, would his father believe him? If he said yes, what would the repercussions be? "I-i, uh...what makes you think that?"

Gabriel motioned to his ring. "The ring on your finger looks a lot like his. Not to mention you two look a bit similar."

Adrien didn't know how to counter that. The ring was the dead giveaway. How could he explain the sudden appearance of it? His father already showed suspicions toward it before. Could he easily shake them off again?

"Son, I wouldn't care if you were." He tried to make it seem as though he were the supportive father. "I would be proud to call myself the father of a superhero." He wouldn't be proud. He'd have been wanting to kill his son for close to two years. He would have been hurting his own son every single day, when the Miraculous was under his nose the entire time.

"Father..." Adrien looked at him and noticed something off about his expression. He inched away from him and hid his hands in his pockets, trying to hide the Miraculous. "Even if I were Chat Noir, I wouldn't be able to tell you. Superheroes have to keep their identities a secret or something like that."

"Wouldn't saying that be a way to hide your identity?"

"No matter what it is, I can't tell you whether I am him or not. Besides, I thought you were here to help me!" He stood up and threw his hands out of his pockets.

"If you aren't Chat Noir, take off your ring."

"No! I'm done talking about him!" He felt tears brimming at his eyes. "I just want to talk about Adrien for once," he muttered.

"Adrien...it's okay." Gabriel stood up and embraced his son in another hug. While holding his son, he looked at the ring, trying to hold himself back from snatching it.

"Why do you care so much about Chat Noir?"

"Because I'm curious, son. I'm worried for you, and need to know everything so I can help you."

Adrien pulled away and stepped back, trying to put distance between him and his father. If his father had evil intentions, he needed to be far away just in case he needed to escape. "I-I-" he stuttered. His eyes caught sight of Plagg, who looked terrified.

Something was wrong. He shouldn't be telling his father anything. For whatever reason, it wasn't safe. Gabriel noticed Adrien's shocked expression and turned to see what he was looking at. His eyes caught sight of a tail disappearing under the blanket of his bed.

A kwami.

He tried to act like he hadn't seen anything, but he knew his expression gave it away.

"I can explain–"

"No, I know what I saw, Adrien."

His heart pounded harder and harder. "How do you know...?"

Gabriel sighed. "I've become well-aquatinted with the Miraculous over my lifetime."

Adrien backed away. Plagg knew. Plagg could sense his father knew something. He should have kept the secret better. Adrien failed. His father wasn't safe, for whatever reason.

Something clicked inside of him. His father had possession of the Miraculous Spellbook. He never left his house. He seemed interested in the ring.

Could his father be– "Hawkmoth?" He muttered in shock, hoping he was wrong.

Gabriel moved closer to his son. "I hope you'll understand, Adrien. Once I get the Miraculous I can bring her back. We can finally live happily once again."

Adrien moved towards his window. "No! If you do that, it'll come with a sacrifice! It's not right! Terrorizing Paris, for what? Bringing a dead person back? She's dead, let her be dead like she should be! Who do you think you are, Frankenstein? You can't just bring people back and expect it to all be so perfect!" He was about to open the window but his father tried to take the ring.

"Give me the Miraculous and everything will be fine!"

"No!" Adrien ran to his bed and grabbed his phone, shoving it in his pocket. "I can't be here. Not with you, Hawkmoth." Tears rolled down his cheeks. "I can't. I have a city to save, and I cant leave them behind."

"Son, just do it."

"Plagg," Adrien muttered, causing the black kwami to fly out of the blanket. "Let's go." Adrien walked towards his door, but Nathalie opened it, shocked to see the scene unfolding in front of her eyes. Adrien backed up a bit, but stopped when he saw his father getting closer to him. "Nathalie, move." She didn't move.

"Plagg, claws out," he muttered, transforming in a bright flash of light.

As he walked away, his father managed to grab his wrist. "Adrien, don't go–"

"Sorry, Adrien isn't available now. You can leave a message for him, if you'd like."

Gabriel scoffed and tried grabbing the ring.

"Cataclysm," Chat muttered, causing Gabriel to stop. "You'll never get my Miraculous." He turned and walked past Nathalie, tears rolling down his cheeks as he left behind the last piece of home he had.

#miraculous ladybug #bad things happen bingo #adrein agreste #chat noir #ml

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ghoulcouriersix · 6 years ago

Text

Bruce x Fem!Reader

Word count: 1728

Prompt: “I’m not going anywhere.”

Tagged people: @minipaige160 @brykortreat

Warnings: Spoilers,Violence, if you don't like violent/fluff filled fics this one ain't for you so just ignore it.

Authors notes: Feedback is always welcome good and bad! I won't stand for plain harassment though because how is that going to help me improve? Anyways I hope you enjoy reading it I took a long break from writing and finally decided to get back into it so here's my first fic back from my break ^^

Bruce's wiki page:

The day was nearing its end and the gang still wasn't back yet, the air was getting crisp and bitter, you started to worry even if you didn't show it to the others.

The camp was alive with chit chat, idle arguments or Uncle complaining about how he's practically useless to do any work, the noise fizzed out to you it was just a simple mumble in the background.

"Still nothing?" Karen walked over to you her arms folded.

You snapped out of this trance that a hold of your mind and shook your head as the anxiety built in your stomach, a million scenarios ran through your mind, mostly horrible and gruesome.

Karen gently patted your back knowing not to make some snarky or outrageous remark when you're like this "Don't worry your head about it you know what those boys are like, they'll be back soon i know it"

And with that she was gone and the warmth from her hand evaporated, so you sat there knees tucked to your chest and your eyes stuck on the camps entrance. Horseshoe overlook was in your words, breathtaking it was always sunny and the crystal clear water to match made it perfect, it brought out the best in most of the gang except Micha, Bill and Reverend, Micha kept to his own devices with Bill and Reverend both passed out drunk half the time.

Your mind wondered to the gang and their well being and the deep pit of anxiety reared it's ugly head yet again, you knew they could handle themselves perfectly well but there was a certain cowboy your mind kept skipping over but the excessive pull in your heart brought your brain right back to him.

Bruce was a cold hearted man, he wasn't one for playing games with people, he's killed a lot of people, innocent and not so good hearted, honestly when you first clapped eyes on him you should have ran away then, bolted from that devil in disguise before you but something pulled you back maybe it was that little smile he had when you swayed over to him or how he smelled like home, could be his piercing brown eyes or that gruff southern voice, the way his clothes hugged him in all the right places and how it shapes certain areas perfectly. With Bruce being 43 you were always doubted by the other girls why you'd even like a man like him especially with his age too, you'd laugh off their jokes which had an underlying nasty tone to them, Mary-Beth was different though she would swoon around your relationship and how when she becomes a professional writer how you two would be the first she wrote about.

You remembered how Bruce and Arthur would go and collect overdue debts for Herr Strauss, they'd come back to camp with their knuckles bruised and a tense look in their eyes but a wad of cash in hand. You wanted that experience, to see that side of life and not be babied at camp knitting ripped clothes and baking. You badgered Bruce all day about it all attempts ending in a big no so you moved onto Arthur who caved after a few hours of not dropping the subject.

You had to go see a man called Thomas Downes, he borrowed a lot of money and it couldn't be ignored, Bruce and Arthur decided it was best to get there at sunrise, the atmosphere throughout the ride was thick and awkward, the sound of the horse's hooves slamming against the dry dirt was enough sound for you.

The Downes farmhouse was really nice and well kept, the horses and farm animals looked healthy and ripe, you wished you could live like this and get a name for yourself.

Bruce got down from his horse giving it a small pat and a scratch behind its ear, Arthur's lips were in a tight thin line you could tell he didn't really like doing this but it's business at the end of the day.

"Mister Downes i have come to collect" Bruce shouted his deep southern accent made its appearance, his threatening tone sent shivers down your spine, his Carbine repeater in one hand as he shouted, you could tell his patience was running thin.

Thomas looked up over the mounting plants he had behind a white fence.

"Arthur, (Y/N), over here" he called out.

With a nod to each other you hitched your horses and walked towards Bruce who was already interrogating this man, you scanned Thomas up and down, his skin was pale but his cheeks were flushed bright pink, he had dark red bags under his eyes and he was sweating profusely.

Bruce had the man by the suspenders ragging him back and forth "Where's the damn money you owe herr strauss?" he ordered.

The poor man was a bubbling mess, he clearly wasn't well, you grabbed Bruce's arm.

"Bruce he's not well, look at him" you interjected looking back at Arthur he looked intimidating and it was obviously striking more fear into Thomas, you felt a pang of guilt go through your heart and a churn in your stomach, this wasn't right these people were just trying to get by and fell and hard times now if they don't pay they get two burly angry men smashing at their doors.

"I aint got time for this, i aint gonna ask you again maggot now where's the money" Bruce barked again ignoring your words, tugging Thomas by the suspenders closer to his face, Bruce snarled his teeth gritted.

"I'll get it i promise i just need more time please" Thomas begged, he had a sincere look in his eyes.

You thought Bruce would've backed off but everything happened in a flash, Thomas was on the floor clutching his jaw you quickly stepped back, not used to seeing him in such a nasty way, sure he was moody and off but never downright vile in front of you, it was the start of seeing a man fighting with two sides of himself. Bruce stood over him the still rising sunlight illuminated his features, every wrinkle, the bear claw scar that fitted his face perfectly , that well kept beard, his furrowed eyebrows, his slicked back hair, his tent stash never lacked hair pomade.

Arthur knelt down besides Thomas, groaning as his knees cracked with his movements.

"Now you listen here, we aint playin' around with you, sick or not you owe us money and we are gonna get it whether you're here or not do ya understand me now?" Arthur threatened and Thomas nodded weakly as he turned onto his stomach coughing violently, you could tell his throat was probably sore as hell, his lungs sounded tired and dry as blood painted the grass below.

Bruce stepped off of him and looked down at him with a hint of disgust as Thomas gripped his chest, You could here the farmhouse door swing open and a older looking woman and a young looking boy rushed outside.

"Thomas" a woman shouted in panic rushing over to the dying man, she quickly collapsed to the floor beside the coughing man, comforting him, she looked up at the two strangers the shadow that covered their faces made them looks bigger and more monstrous.

"He's sick you animals, he's not well and you just about signed his death" she ran her fingers through his dirt coated hair you could hear her silent sobs as his eyes looked dilated and soulless.

The young boy looked terrified and the guilt in you grew, is this the life you so wanted? To be wanted in three states and maybe more? To go around beating up dying people and hounding the poor? No you're not that type of woman but there's people at camp that need you. A certain man who no matter what he's done or will do you just can't leave him.

"Sick or not he owes us money, he shoulda' thought about his damn health before borrowing money he can't pay back" Bruce raised his voice.

"You'll get your damn money, now go" she interrupted with a harsher tone.

Bruce threw his hands up walking away rubbing his knuckles, you could tell he was still riled up.

"You got one week ya hear? we'll be back woman" Arthur warned and walked towards the horses leaving the woman and the boy to try and calm their gravely ill family member.

You caught up to Arthur and Bruce who were already saddling up, Bruce had an expression of a bear who'd been stung by a thousand bees, his jaw was clenched tight and Arthur looked troubled and clearly pissed off but you decided to not comment.

That trip left a sour taste in your mouth, you saw what you wanted to see, the harsher world but it came at a price, a price you regret.

You hadn't the slightest clue of the time but it was well past 7 you predicted, the cold was getting to you now, goosebumps grew on your bare skin making any touch from your clothing extremely sensitive, your eyes began to sting with dryness and the looming need of sleep. The camp was going settling down for the night, some of the boys gathered around the campfire drinking as usual.

Your eyes slowly closed the mixture of voices and the crackling of the fire in the background slowly lulled you into peaceful stupor, you could hear footsteps, louder talking but it was muffled like you were slowly falling underwater, you could feel the ground disappear, it felt like you were floating on a cloud until your back hit the rough material below your body sinking into whatever you were laying on.

Your eyes cracked open slowly the land around was fuzzy and out of focus, the lantern on the side table outlined a familiar figure.

"Bruce?" You groaned and reached your arm out your hand gently grabbed his coarse leather jacket.

"Hm?"

"You're real I thought you were still gone" you mumbled with a small smile.

You heard a quiet chuckle which made your heart burst into flames and your cheeks flared up.

"I ain't goin' anywhere darlin'"

And with that you drifted back into sleep knowing your favourite cowboy was back safe with you.

Disclaimer: None of my characters are to be used as pfps, role playing characters or to be claimed by anyone who isn't me of course, if any are seen using my characters for any of these purposes then action will be taken against you. Fanart is always welcome please pm me so I can properly credit you and if you post it please credit my name as the character's owner it solves all confusion, DO NOT use my writing in any way shape or form and claim it as your own I spend a lot of time on my writing so I don't appreciate having it stolen.

#red dead redemption online #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #Bruce Gilligan #Xreader #writing #fanfic #original character #female reader

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