#I just want a cool gun dude womp womp

[lostinalem]

"YOU ACTIVATED ARCHIMEDES?!?!? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING??!?!?!?" I'm not, hope this helps :3

[jq37]

Ok, a few Unsleeping City asks: 1-Thoughts on new ep? 2-CAMBRIDGE SANTALYTICA 3-The gang tries to meet up for drinks

**spoilers for mutant santa melee**

(I’ll respond to the other two parts of the ask in another post!)

We are back with our first battle episode of the season and our first chance to see the NY Crew really show their skills.

Ricky trying to keep Sophie's reckless ass safe because he has big golden retriever energy is great.

I can't decide if everyone taking this first fight more seriously than the first fight in FH is because they remember how badly they got womped last time and didn't want a repeat or because they were just playing older, more experienced characters.

I hate everything about these mutant Santas and I want it on the record. I mean, they're great from a game design perspective but I hate them.

"Mr. March, I'm gonna save you!"/"My name is Rick, by the way."

I thought it was funny that Ricky and Sophie both happened to hit the exact wrong type of Santa for their skillset for their first attack, back to back.  

Fig's Bardic Inspiration move was to do flirty winks at everyone. Misty's is to give big, theatrical compliments. I love it.  

Ricky dropping gun safety warnings mid MUTANT SANTA FIGHT.

"Fucking come out of your stupid cocoon! I know you're not a butterfly!"

I love it when rolls are happening at the table and Lou is loudly like, "This is terrible. I hate this." He did it all through the family rescue rolls in FH too.

"It's fine. It's fucking new York. What do you expect?"/"The NY that I live in and the NY that you live in are very different my friend." That's the real NY experience.

Sophie going, "F the minions, I'm going for the obvious boss Monster, I'll take the attacks," is such a good character defining moment. Also, the action-y music abruptly cutting off as the door shut was hilarious.

So Pete is hearing mysterious whispers and Sophie is hearing mysterious whispers and I'm Concerned, especially since it's the two newbies and it's not necessarily significant but it could be so I'm just mentioning it and tabling it until I have more info to speculate.

Misty turning to Kingston and saying, "Just like old times!" makes me want to know every single detail of their history together before the new kids showed up.

"Santa's my friend and he's fucking dead."

I like the homebrew rule for Pete's wild magic surge which makes the odds of one increase every time it doesn't happen because it ups the chaos factor and makes it inevitable rather than just a possibility which I bet has the potential to create some real tension in a long, drawn out fight.

The way Brennan kept describing Pete's arm as peeling like a banana when he used his magic grossed me out so much so, if that was the goal, you did it. Thanks, I hate it.

The, "Guess I'll just die," meme but it's Pete going, "Guess I'll just use this evil magic."

"Darling I love to be naughty. It's my favorite thing!" (Misty's chaos potential increases with every line she says).

"SANTA GETYCHO ASS UP." (Flawless bedside manner)

I forgot how fragile lower level characters can be! I'm glad so many of the party members have at least some healing spells (I think everyone but Pete and Sophie) as opposed to FH when it was basically just Kristen I think.

"He just gives us a PS4 and that's it."

Sophie monkey bars up Giant Eldritch Horror Santa's exposed ribcage and upercut-kick him because stripping Emily of her magic doesn't strip her of her creativity or flair.

"Darling, with me every day is a show. My life is a show!"

Sophie, upon being complimented by Misty: Oh my God. My new friends are awesome.

The idea of a dirty rat man summoning a unicorn is hilarious to me.

Pete's first Wild Magic surge just restores his sorcery points, which is great as a player but, as a viewer, I really hope we get to see some bombastic nonsense soon. Also, Brennan had the wild magic surge, in story, be the result of Pete's magic reacting to Kingston's, which I thought was a cool way to justify game mechanics.

"You're the opposite of Santa!"

Smites are GOOD you guys.

Sophie catches Santa and and Ricky (who has just killed the boss Santa) takes a selfie with them. Bless. Also, Sophie refuses to put down Santa for the rest of the fight.

Misty has an umbrella with a KNIFE inside of it which I LOVE.

The fight ends a little anticlimactically because, once you bum rush the boss, all that's left to do is clean up the minions.

Misty mentioned having Shoes of Titania and I wanna know if that's an actual item with a mechanical effect and what its stats are if so.

Ally realizing they only some of the Santas explode on impact basically at the end of the fight was classic DnD.

Santa sending people into his bag was giving me big Naddpod vibes.

"What the fuck happened?" --Santa, 2019

I don't like the implication of the gestating tadpoles with the Santa hats. Like, is Santa's hat organic? Is it just a part of his body? No thank you.

Pete just lying to Santa's face for absolutely no reason. Incredible.

Santa and Misty talking shop, just because, was such a fun 30 seconds of RP. I love RP that exists just to exist (and, sidenote, I also love when it comes back around and becomes relevant like in Naddpod (14 seconds of absolute silence...chicken)).  

"Santa, don't give this boy an egg."

"A very fancy egg for a very not fancy boy. But a good boy nonetheless."

Ricky on Santa: It would be crazy if you weren't real because you're such a good person. (Zac struggling to get through that was his second best moment of the ep).

Pete gives Santa a bag of coke and tries to dip when she sees cops because, magic or not, that's Who He Is As A Person.

Santa: Pete, your soul is in jeopardy. (lol, Santa knew his name on sight which, of course he did. It's Santa. Duh.)

CENTAUR HORSE COP. I love that as much as I hate the mutant Santas.

Ricky, horrified: Am I on the bad list?/Santa, who is still processing that Ricky never stopped believing in Santa:Ricky, no. (That was my fave Ricky line of the ep, in case you were wondering)

So, in this world, Christian (Catholic specifically) figures explicitly exist, which is good to know. Also, in last episode and this one, the grey faced child mentioned Lazarus which I thought was just a stylistic name choice but that's a name w/ specific Biblical connotations (that's the dude Jesus brought back from the dead for those not up on your New Testament) and it still might be irrelevant, but it's one more thing for me to tack up on my conspiracy board.  

"Santa, are you Cambrdige Analytica?"

Anyway, Heaven and Hell use the naughty and nice list to figure out who goes where so they're not being redundant which is wild because that means Santa essentially gets to decide morality for the rest of the world and, as of now, Pete is super going to hell based on the look Santa gave him when they were talking about who's on the naughty list.

Santa's list has been stolen which is, como se dice, Bad. The specifics aren't clear, but it's super not good. Also, Santa lets the group know that they might wanna figure out what's going on with Pete before he chucks deuces and goes home. So it seems like we'll be seeing him again.

I wonder what the timeline for this season is gonna be. Like, Christmas seems like an obvious time for a big, climactic setpiece, but it'll have to be a really compressed timeline if that's what they're aiming for. Compressed compared to Fantasy High at least.

Sophie, illegally cracking a Mike's Hard in Central Park in front of a cop: Um, we're magic. (She gets a ticket immediately)

That's it for this week! Next week the mob (the pixie mob maybe?) and Siobahn has awesome hair!

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #162: The Bride of Ultron!

August, 1977

So. Uh. Cool cover?

...

Lets not beat around the bush.

Last time: The Grim Reaper attacked and Wonder Man had to punch the shit out of him. And then Hank Pym got weird amnesia and attacked the Avengers as Ant-Man. They were weirdly unprepared to fight ants and a tiny man. And then Ultron apparently killed most of the Avengers and kidnapped Janet van Wasp and Ant-Man.

This time: A wedding I guess??

We start with Thor arriving at Avengers Mansion to find several of the team being carted away by ambulances.

Check out that tactless dude saying the one he’ll miss is Cap. Tragedy strikes us all differently but maybe don’t say that when you’re within spitting distance of all the other dead people. Maybe its meta, since Cap is the only one to have his own book?

Anyway, Thor heads inside and meets up with the survivors.

Black Panther was knocked out by Ultron’s splode so didn’t get shot with the encephalo-beam. Iron Man had his armor drained but Black Panther was able to help him once he recovered from splode.

And Wonder Man... probably something regarding the process he’s undergoing what with the glowy eyes. His physiology is just different now. Same reason Grim Reaper’s manacles didn’t affect him, remember?

Black Panther recaps the last issue for Thor.

He does a good enough job, I guess.

I personally think I do a little better. Although, he managed to get his synopsis down to two panels. And I just words words words.

Anyway, Thor swears vengeance because its the done thing. I like to think he swears five oaths of ‘Till my death... or his!’ before breakfast. The cooks in Asgard are getting a bit unnerved.

Elsewhere, Ultron. Also, Ant-Man. And they’re not currently trying to kill each other.

I know Hank has amnesia but what’s Ultron’s excuse?

Well, he has some weird scheme.

He claims that he, Ultron, rescued Hank, Ant-Man, from his enemies. That the ‘imposter’ Avengers turned on Wasp and near fatally injured her. But Ultron rescued her because he’s so brave and handsome.

But get this: medically speaking, medically speaking the only way to save Jan is to transfer her life-force into a robot body that Ultron just so happened to have prepared ahead of time. And then they can fix the meat. Swearsies.

I’m also sure it was medically necessary to strip Jan naked, you big creep, Ultron.

Don’t think you’re off the hook either, Shooter and/or Perez.

Okay, creeper robots slash comic producers aside, Ultron has set up the process so that once Jan’s life force has been transferred it can’t be transferred back.

Then by Hank’s own hand, Jan will have been killed to give life to a woman for Ultron.

This is why he gave Hank amnesia.

Because its Ultron. Of course he’s going to go full Oedipal.

Also, apparently this technology and process fit under what a bio-physicist does?

I don’t think Hank knows what his own field is, honestly.

And then we get another full page of Hawkeye and Two-Gun at the Cheery-O’s Dude Ranch because? This has to be going somewhere. If this doesn’t have a really good payoff, I’mma be pissed.

As it is, it establishes why Hawkeye doesn’t respond to this Ultron-related emergency.

Hawkeye leaves Two-Gun to watch the phone for any calls while he goes to feed the horses.

Two-Gun gets engrossed in Marvel comics about his cowboy friends, as drawn by Jack Kirby, and gets annoyed at the ringing contraption.

So he shoots it.

It was interrupting comic time.

And he doesn’t know what a phone is.

Womp womp.

I mean, yeah, ha ha, future technology confuses and infuriates him. But were you raised in a fucking barn, Two-Gun? This is your place of employment. Don’t go shooting things just because they annoy you! You are a guest here!

Time travelers. Geez.

Back at Avengers Mansion, Thor is freshly frustrated that he still can’t reach Hawkeye.

Wonder Man wonders (hah!) aloud if Hawkeye is even worth this grief but Thor chastises him because for all his many and varied personal failings, Hawkeye has put his time in and proven himself a thousandfold to the Avengers.

And Mr. Wonderful Punched A Few Dudes thinks he can judge Hawkeye.

Elsewhere, Iron Man tries to SCIENCE a way to find where Ultron went. But Ultron left no trace or it has faded by this point.

And he has to ponder... why kidnap Jan? Well, except the obvious... But neither Iron Man or Black Panther (who is elsewhere but having a very similar train of thought) want to really delve too deeply into that thought.

I mean, come on, surely not even Ultron is that much of a creeper?

Elsewhere, Ultron is dancing his happy Oedipal dance.

Because he’s gonna have a wife! Made out of his dad’s wife’s soul! The irony is so delicious that Ultron briefly forgets that he’s supposed to be roleplaying as a polite and helpful friend to Hank Pym who doesn’t want to murder all fleshies.

Oh and the robot girlfriend (and can we seriously just take a moment to slow down and consider that Ultron built himself a robot girlfriend?) starts to move so I guess this is also the “it’s alive.... IT’S ALIIIVE” moment.

No but seriously. Ultron built himself a robot girlfriend with robot hair.

By this point, the process of having her soul sucked out and put into a robot has managed to revive the Wasp. Of course she’s blindfolded by the soul-removing blindfold and also chained to a slab. She’s not going anywhere.

But she calls for Hank, crying out in alarm that she can feel her soul slipping away. And as she does, the love doll also begins to hold up half of her conversation, finishing Jan’s sentences but also saying stuff about a magnificent superior cybernetic body.

So. Yeah. Potentially terrifying.

For some people. Losing their humanity and such. Other people go ‘wait superior cybernetic body? I would like to subscribe to your pamphlet.’

Not that Hank hears any of this. Apparently the machines that power this process are just really loud. But he’s glad he can’t hear her. I mean, he knows that he’s totally saving her life but he has this weird feeling like maybe he’s killing her? Oh well, best to barrel on regardless.

You know what makes this really dumb? There is literally nothing wrong with Jan. She was drugged unconscious but that’s wearing off now. I can only conclude that Hank Pym didn’t even check Jan’s condition and instead just blindly believed the scary murder robot that told him these things.

Ultron thinks its hilarious though. Because once Hank has finished turning his wife into a robot, Ultron is going to kill him slowly.

Because Ultron!

Meanwhile, the few surviving Avengers are still farting around aimlessly. Ultron could literally be anywhere because they have no clues.

Wonder Man is so fed up with waiting that he smashes a console and proclaims that he was created to defeat all the Avengers, single-handedly!

Thor halts his tantrum and offers some good Thor advice.

Thor: “Thou shalt crave far greater strength if the battle thou desirest comes! Do not waste the might that is thine! Mark my words, mortal! Thy first true test is yet to come!”

And then a bunch of ants show up.

Luckily for the Avengers and their lack of ant-preparedness, these are not swarming attack ants.

This is an antogram! 

Like a telegram but with ants.

They form into the shape of letters on the ground, spelling out: STARKLI.

WHICH CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING!

Someone call Iron Man and have him tell us the only one thing it can mean.

Okay, so Iron Man here. Obviously the letters signify the abandoned aerospace research center of Stark industries on Long Island. And the ants signify that Ant-Man is sending a super stealthy message to the Avengers.

And really, they have no other leads to follow so yeah fuck it lets go to Long Island.

AND OFF THEY FLY, having heroic dialogue because that’s what comics is all about. Having dramatic, heroic dialogue while you’re flying off to your death.

Wait, death?

Wonder Man suddenly realizes that he might die tonight. Ultron has already killed four Avengers who will never, ever be back and even Thor is talking like he expects to die in this fight.

And Wonder Man died once and didn’t much care for it.

Later, at the abandoned aerospace research center in Long Island of all places, the point of no return is approaching. Robot wife mumbled so.

When suddenly, Black Panther spouting a pretty cool line.

Black Panther: “Turn, Ultron! Face me!”

Ultron: “Who --”

Black Panther: “The harbinger of a storm of vengeance, evil one!”

Yup. Black Panther snuck past Ultron’s sentinel devices because Black Panther almost always rolls nat 20s on stealth, except when he announces his presence to say a cool thing.

In fairness. It was a pretty cool thing. And I’m pretty sure that he gets bonuses if he says the cool things.

Then Mjolnir smashes through a wall. Thor is here too.

And Iron Man repulsors through a wall because its his building so he can break it if he wants.

Just as Ultron is sticking his foot in his mouth to announce that the three of them can’t possibly stop him, Wonder Man bursts through the ceiling.

I would laugh if every time Ultron reacted to what he thought was the new number of Avengers, another person showed up. Give me a whole issue of “And me!”

Ultron calls shenanigans on Wonder Man’s presence. He should be in a coma! He was struck by the encephalo-beam like the rest.

Wait, a coma? asks Iron Man.

Yeah, the ‘dead’ Avengers aren’t dead. Like Marvel would kill off Captain America. Can you imagine?

Prometheus aside, out of the ‘dead’ Avengers, Captain America is the only one I wouldn’t have bought them killing off in the previous issue.

Vision, Scarlet Witch, and Beast all are exclusive to Avengers at this point. Cap has his own book.

We’re all cynical today but the previous issue ended with the Avengers lying in a hero heap and this issue started with several Avengers being treated as really dead for serious. Not badly wounded. Dead.

Granted, this nonsense was pulled before with Grim Reaper’s first appearance but that was done-in-one and the whole team so obviously it wouldn’t stick. This? If you were a kid reading this back in the day, I buy that you could buy that the ‘dead’ Avengers were dead for realsies.

Ultron’s admission here is the first indication to the otherwise.

And even so, everyone shot by the encephalo-beam will die within hours if the coma-effect isn’t reversed.

The encephalo-beam is cool like that. Its like Grim Reaper’s coma-ray except better. Because Ultron built it. Both of them really but he built his toy to be cooler.

Why not keep all the best stuff for yourself, really? Its what Tony does. I learned it from watching you, dad’s friend! Slash, alternate reality dad.

Anyway, Ultron tries to encephalo-beam Thor but Iron Man blocks it.

With his head.

Way to take the encephalo, Iron Man. I’m not sure it was even necessary since Wonder Man’s weird physiology protected him from the beam somewhat and surely Asgardians have weirder physiology. Up to the point where sometimes Thor claims that radiation just doesn’t affect him and also he can breath in space.

But if the attack would have taken Thor out even for a temporary period of time, it was better for Iron Man to take it.

Because: pro-tip: his armor protected him.

And then he repulsors Ultron into an equipment bank.

Which is... pointless, really. Ultron’s chassis is built of indestructible adamantium and he has auto-repair systems which makes physically fighting him an exercise in futility.

And yet the Avengers never seem to realize that before they try punching him in the face. You’d think Iron Man would have prepared something. He’s the tech wiz and their best hope after Scarlet Witch and Hank Pym aren’t available.

But I guess he just planned to blast him through walls all day and hope that catharsis is a tangible force that can defeat robots.

Thor and Wonder Man charge to follow up on Iron Man’s attack. Even Ultron is baffled that they’re trying to stop him via punches.

But Wonder Man is dwelling on what Thor said about dying and he’s having... I don’t know. Something. He feels like he’s watching this whole thing from outside, disassociated from the whole process.

Anyway, while punches are not so effective on Adamantium/Fighting types, they’re super effective against Thor and Wonder Man and Ultron just WHAK-rRAKs them. 

That’s the sound of a superstrong robot belting two super tough dudes. Its probably like thunder with a bit of the thump of hitting flesh mixed in.

Meanwhile, Black Panther is smart enough to realize that his punches won’t do much against Ultron so he goes to see to Hank Pym.

But to his surprise, Ant-Man isn’t just putting on a pretense to lull Ultron into a false sense of security so that he can summon the Avengers to aid him. He really does think that Ultron is his partner and that the Avengers are imposters.

Also, he just finished the process so that it will complete automatically. Now he’s free to help Ultron-

WHAK!

Hah, no. Best way to stop Ant-Man from shrinking around and kicking your ass? Kick him in the head while he’s still talking.

Wonder Man is still grappling with his fear of death while trying to punch Ultron in the face. While multitasking is laudable, this time it gets him blasted by the robit. Because its slowing him down and distracting him.

Meanwhile, Iron Man has recovered (I guess from the encephalo-beam?) and has gone to help Black Panther with the robotization machine. So its up to Thor and Wonder Man.

But the controls of the device are locked and protected by a code and they’ll never figure it out in time.

Unless... they can make Ultron tell them.

Meanwhile, on the fight side of the room, Ultron has sensed Wonder Man’s hesitation and decided that he’ll be the easier victim.

Thor interprets this as a brilliant ploy by Wonder Man to get Ultron to grapple with him.

And then he just jumps right on that grapple pile, hooking Mjolnir around Ultron’s neck because? I mean, probably to harness his movements and not to strangle him. Because robot.

Even if they can’t hurt him, Thor has decided that between the two of them, they can hold him in place. I guess that’s something like strategy if you don’t ask ‘ok but now what?’

Also, Thor’s holding strategy includes one of Ultron’s hands around Wonder Man’s neck so from his perspective its perhaps not ideal.

But Iron Man has a different plan and calls over to get Ultron’s attention.

Which is: give me the release code or I melt your girlfriend.

Ultron protests that robot wife and Wasp are the same and to destroy one would destroy the other so this is totally a bluff, Iron Man wouldn’t sacrifice a comrade to thwart Ultron.

NO WAIT SECOND THOUGHT DON’T HURT MY ROBOT WIFE

So time skip to after he gives them to code and Ultron flies off in a huff, swearing vengeance.

Wonder Man tries to confess his hesitance in battle but Thor just tells him that they’ll talk later.

I really want to see that conversation and I’m mad that we probably never get to.

Black Panther reproaches Iron Man that there’s little honor in a victory won by taking a robot girl hostage but Iron Man tells him it worked so who cares.

But in his cloud like thought bubbles, he wonders what he would have done if Ultron had remained intransigent. Would he, could he have killed her and possibly the Wasp?

That’s just a question that Iron Tony will have to live with.

And now an EPILOGUE

So. Hank is still an angry amnesiac. He insists that Ultron will be back for him because they’re such bffsies and then they’ll crush the Avengers together! And also Wasp! Because obviously she has turned on him!

But Iron Man believes studying Ultron’s equipment may give them the means to restore Ant-Man’s memories.

But what if it didn’t? Spoiler: Hank later turns up with his memories back and it really could have been dwelt on more. But what if it didn’t work? What if Hank’s memories were gone forever and he believed that Ultron was his friend and he continued to hate the Avengers and Wasp? What if Ultron did come back to spring him and they teamed up again? Ultron in his head thinking the whole time that he’d likely kill Hank in the morning but the opportunity just never came up?

It would have been an interesting place for the character to go. And roughly parallel to his actual fall from grace in future issues.

As we saw last issue, Hank could be a startlingly dangerous antagonist for the Avengers. Teamed up with Ultron, they could be the ultimate dad-son villain team. Where one is constantly fantasizing about killing the other.

But in this reality, there is a lingering question. I mean, beyond whether Iron Man would murder a robot wife. Hank didn’t summon the ants that gave the Avengers the clue where to look. And Wasp denies doing it either, since Ultron took away her cybernetic collar when he was undressing her like a creeper.

Could it have been... “someone... sympathetic to Jan’s plight. Someone with sophisticated cybernetic circuitry at hand, capable of projecting a thought-impulse to nearby insects!”

Could it be that despite Iron Man’s dismissal of Robot Wife as just a thing that wasn’t really Jan, that in her brief half-life when Jan’s soul was being transferred into her, that she was more human and more like Jan than even Ultron suspected?

These are the mysteries. And I get the feeling we haven’t seen the last of Robot Wife, who will eventually get one of the more embarrassing names in comics.

By feeling, I really mean ‘I know who this character is and have seen her in other comics from many years later.’

So. A pretty good two-parter. First part let us see what Ant-Man is like when he lets get dangerouses. And the second part shows us why the Avengers need to make Ultron plans before they head out to punch Ultron.

I’m ambivalent to Ultron generally because this is how Ultron stories usually go. The Avengers try to punch the indestructible robot to death, get surprised when it doesn’t work. And also, the encephalo-beam is used as a win-button far too frequently.

But the part of Ultron stories that I do like: how do you defeat an indestructible robot? And that tends to be unique and creative every time.

Although its still frustrating that the Avengers only hit on the idea after they’ve been bloodying their knuckles on Ultron’s face for a while. They never plan! At this point, they know for sure Ultron is out there and vengeful so if they don’t have some contingencies in place next time he shows up, I’m going to be hecka nettled! It doesn’t even matter if the contingencies fail, I just want to see that the Avengers have been trying to do their homework!

Also, this starts off or at least reinforces a pretty consistent character trend: what Ultron wants most of all is companionship. He is a lonely murder robot and he doesn’t know how to make friends so he keeps trying to make friends. Making companions is even slightly more important to him than world conquest.

I also have noticed this kind of trend. What with all the guest stars that hang around and never leave, the Avengers roster is pretty bloated. Thor is on inactive membership but he’s around so often it doesn’t really matter. So you have: Captain America, Iron Man, Scarlet Witch, the Wasp, Vision, Wonder Man, Black Panther, Beast.

Eight people.

And its hard to manage a team that big and give space for everyone. And I’ve noticed a tendency for the team to be split up in some way. Like here where four of the team were ‘killed’, another two hostage or brainwashed ally of the villain, leaving a manageable four left to be the Avengers this time.

I’ll have to keep an eye out to see if sidelining continues to be a thing going forward to manage this book’s large cast.

Next time: a filler cross-over to give some breathing room before the next big thing that pushes the Avengers to their limits.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

I will always come back; Rocket Raccoon x Human!Reader

This request came from my Wattpad account and this was my first attempt to write a romantic oneshot featuring our Favorite trash panda Rocket. Now I took inspiration from the newly opened up Disney attraction after watching some of the videos on youtube GOTG: Mission Breakout so the quotes I have in the beginning belong to the ride I give them FULL credit. Anyways I hope you all enjoy this oh and if you want, fill free to listen to Joan Jett’s Bad Reputation when it comes up in the story :) Besides swearing not really any more warnings for you guys.

____________________________________________________________

"This is all your fault" snarled Gamora.

"Well at least we get a really cool looking sign" stated Peter. Soon golden words came across his glass screen and he whined out, "ahh man they got my name wrong its Star-Lord, dude. Although they do call me the leader. That's pretty cool".

"Yes because you led down here into this trap!"

"Hey, I thought the tour sounded fun"

"What name do they call me?" asked Drax. As words appeared across his cage. Peter leaned in and said out loud.

"Ahh Drax the Destroyer".

"Ha! That is correct".

"They got his name right".

"That's what bothers you!"

"Well sorry, Gamora Daughter of Thanos". Gamora's eyed widened as she saw the words across her cage and she shouted in rage.

"I AM NOT THE DAUGHTER OF THANOS!!" She punched her cage which shocked her with such high levels of voltage it light up her entire cage and caused her to shake her hand in pain.

"You're not supposed to tap the glass" Peter smart-mouthed.

"DON'T EVEN START!"

"Hey! Would you two keep it down over there!?" Rocket shouted to both Peter and Gamora.

"I am Groot" stated Bab Groot.

"I know! They're so inconsiderate".

"I am Groot".

"According to that you're not Groot, you're a Flora Colossus".

"I am Groot!"

"Don't listen to him. You are Groot" stated Rocket.

"Hey you wanna know what they call you Rocket?" asked Peter.

"I know what they call me. Cybernetic, genetically—"

"Pet Rodent!" Drax then let out a boisterous laugh as Rocket exclaimed angrily.

"ALRIGHT! WHOEVER CALLS ME PET WILL ANSWER TO MY FIST!!"

"I thought you'd be more upset about the Rodent"

"Ain't nothing in the universe like me except me!" The Guardians of the Galaxy had once again found themselves in a serious predicament. Having been tricked by the Collector, they have now become a part of his collection on Knowhere for his profit and gain.

The cages they were in were made especially for them since the Collector had known that Rocket was known for escaping from every imprisonment that he's even been put in. The wires in each cage were hooked up to his Massive generator which gave each cage unimaginable power and any touch of it would deliver a painful shock throughout their bodies. The cages were also elevated at the center of his collection and even if they were able to escape, they would only end up falling into an abyss thousands of feet.

They continued to argue amongst themselves when Groot exclaimed at them to be quiet then Gamora fell to her knees helplessness saying.

"I'm in hell". But as she leaned against her cage, she got shocked again which made Drax chuckle. The Guardians knew that unless Rocket could magically get out of his cage and free them, they would forever be at the hands of the Collector and be a freak-show for the rest of their lives.

Or so they thought.

Unbeknownst to the Collector, there was one member of the Guardian's missing from his collection. And she was currently climbing up the walls of the gantry lift with one of Rocket's guns wrapped around her back. To a normal person climbing up 40-50ft of wall would seem impossible but to (y/n) (l/n) it was next to nothing for her.

*1st Person POV*

The name is (y/n) (l/n) one of the Guardians of the Galaxy. Just to get some of the basic information out of the way I am human but I was taken from my home by black market aliens and taken to the same planet where Rocket and Groot were taken and experimented on. The scientists had given me enhanced strength as well as intelligence like my boyfriend. (Wait what?)

Yeah you heard right. Rocket Raccoon is my boyfriend. After helping them throughout our time together in that hellhole, Rocket helped Groot get some water in his system after finding him dehydrated and just before escaping they helped me when I was being beaten by some of the scientists for sport.

Once I was saved, I escaped with them and the three of us teamed up to drag in any bounties to make as much money as we could and throughout that time Rocket and I began to fall for each other. Of course him being the stubborn ass that he is he didn't want to admit it but Groot actually played Matchmaker and set us up on a romantic starlight dinner and that's when the truth finally came out from both of us.

And I'm sure you guys know what happened next after we had made it to Xandar, if not then go do your research.

Anyways, fast forward a few months after we saved the galaxy from Ronan and to make this long story short, Rocket and I had our usual arguments with each other but the last one we had was so bad that I couldn't even bear to look at him anymore and I walked out on him. Next thing I know, Mantis tells me that the Collector has imprisoned him in his collection and here I am now.

Finally after a long climb, I make it to the Generator's level and I see the power source just ahead of me. I then decided now would be a good time to make my grand entrance. I take out my boyfriend's gun and ready it as I stated.

"I live for the simple things, like how much I'm going to enjoy this". I then pull the trigger and the blast hits the power source which then cuts the entire power off then I wire the speakers and proclaimed.

"Attention K-mart shoppers, this is your savior speaking. Please enjoy our program after this commercial breakout". I then plugged in Quill's Walkman and my favorite rocker girl Joan Jett "Bad Reputation" came on as I raced towards the generator then did a superhero burst out of the glass and fell epically down on top of an escaped flying womp rat.

With my friends' weapons and seeing all the creatures now free along with the Collector's security drones trying to fire at everything in sight. I took control of my flying womp rat by using some wires that I keep at my hip for emergencies like this, I made sure that when it had open its disgusting mouth the wire went inside his mouth and like a rein I controlled his flight patterns.

"Hey Gamora!" I tossed her, her sword and she freed herself from one of the tentacles of an Abilisk. Then after jumping out of the mouth of a gargoyle-like giant behemoth, Drax punched its face which threw it backwards I called out his name and tossed him his daggers.

"Thank you (y/n)! You are a cunning warrior and I am honored to fight alongside you!"

"No prob, where's Rocket and Groot?"

"Last I saw them they were with Quill". I nodded then urged my womp rat onward. Flying a few levels higher, I took notice that Rocket and Quill were overwhelmed by droids as well as the small pestering alien rats.

"Babe!" Rocket turned to me and I tossed him his gun which he caught and readied it before saying.

"Oh—yeah!" He then went crazy firing at the drones. I then leaped off my womp rat and tackled one of the drones and punched my bare hand into its main control and ripped it off then quickly rewired it and used it as my own weapon at any oncoming threat.

"Hey (l/n) you didn't happen to grab my blasters did you?"

"Here you punk!" I tossed him his blasters and he went nuts with them before asking me.

"You didn't really think this through did you?"

"Shut up, okay! At least I'm getting you out of here aren't I?"

"I am Groot!" I then saw a vine tentacle grab Groot and take him towards an enhanced Venus fly-trap.

"Groot!" I took a running start then leaped in the air to try and grab him but I was suddenly grabbed by a three headed snake. Its coils wrapped around me tightly squeezing the life out of me. I could almost hear the sound of my bones cracking that's when I heard Rocket's voice say.

"Hey lizard breath! Get your damn coils off'a my girl!" He then fired at the snake's heads which made them rear back and release me but I ended up falling with no womp rat to get on. But it was then Peter grabbed me and said.

"What would you do without me?"

"Apparently be a pancake". Peter then took me back towards Rocket.

"What's the plan now?" Peter asked me.

"We're going home. Mantis is on the upper level waiting for us with the Milano, get everyone together and meet me up there in a few minutes. I still need to grab some things".

"I'm coming too!" Rocket exclaimed.

"No you're going with Peter!"

"You ain't getting rid of me that easily babe now I'm coming whether you like it or not!" Rocket stated firmly as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Fine but let's go now before creepy mc-bad-hairdo sends in more of his drones. We're gonna make some fireworks". I stated as I ran off. Rocket smirked and stated to Peter before running off after me.

"I love it when she talks explosives".

"You got issues Rocket!" Peter called out.

Throughout various levels of the facility, we each set up bombs and activated them while I had the detonator. I also went ahead and grabbed Peter's Walkman since I knew I'd never hear the end of it if that got destroyed, plus I like hearing some of his music. I then met up with the others at the Milano and saw everyone was there except for Rocket.

"Where's Rocket?" I asked.

"I thought he was with you!" said Peter.

"He was but then he disappeared on me as I was grabbing this for you!" I showed Peter his Walkman and he said.

"Yes! (Y/n) you got my Walkman thanks little sis!" He then went to glomp me in a hug but I sidestepped which made him trip as I scouted the area worriedly. If Rocket didn't come back in the next 1:45 those bombs will set off anyway even without the detonator.

Suddenly Rocket appeared flying up with his jetpack and he landed right next to me.

"So we outta here or what?"

"Yes. Let us be relieved of this haunting environment" stated Drax. We all then aboard the Milano and Peter took the wheel and we took off and with the detonator, Rocket and I together pushed the button and watched as the Collector's office blew up in fireworks. Finally we all left Knowhere and left all of that insane mess behind us and set our course for wherever we wanted to go.

"You really came through for us (y/n), thank you" Gamora stated as she placed her hand on my shoulder. I smiled softly and nodded at her. Drax then stood up and very strongly patted my back once and thanked me just like Gamora did. Groot then came up to me and lifted his arms up to me which made me smile softly and pick him up and I held him close to my chest and in turn he yawned cutely and fell asleep.

"But why? Why did you come back?" stated Rocket solemnly. The rest of the Guardians took that statement as their moment to leave. I passed Groot to Gamora and they all left the room leaving Rocket and I to talk alone.

"Because I wanted to".

"But after that fight, everything I said to you about being a—" I knelt down beside him and kissed his nose before taking his face into my hands.

"Don't ruin the moment alright?" He softly grinned then I continued, "We fight, that's what all couples do. Sometimes fights leave to things being said that aren't really true, and Rocket I was angry at the time but I know you, and I know that everything you said wasn't true, and you know me enough to know I didn't mean any of the things I said about you. And no matter how much we fight, or whatever stupid things we may say to each other, I will always come back to you".

"Same here" he said sincerely as his eyes glistened with tears of love and admiration. "God, when did I get so lucky to find someone like you?"

"I ask myself to same thing every day babe". We both smiled at each other and as we leaned in for a kiss, it was then the annoying buzzing voice of Quill stated out-loud.

"No mutant baby making in my ship!"

"DAMNIT QUILL MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS!!" Rocket shouted out. I rolled my eyes and took Rocket in my arms and the two of us just cuddled together for the remainder of the ride.