#I just think it would be funny if he’s not the kinky bad boi y’all think he is

[nocasdatsgay]

Is it canon Azriel is into kinky shit? I don’t remember. Cause imma laugh my ass of if not and baby girl just wants missionary and then cries afterwards

[haikyuu-boys-headcanons]

𝙷𝙰𝙸𝙺𝚈𝚄𝚄 𝙱𝙾𝚈𝚂 - 𝙴𝙼𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙰𝚂𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝚂𝙴𝚇 𝙼𝙾𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝚂

hehe, i’m back at it again with one of these long ass posts but this idea’s literally been in my head all day long so here you go !! obvious nsfw warning :)

tw: this whole post is just nsfw and embarrassing to read so read at your own risk >:)

𝙳𝙰𝙸𝙲𝙷𝙸 » during a super intense and loud session, his voice cracked as he asked you “does that feel goOD- good baby?” to this day, he still prays that you couldn’t hear him over the sound of your own moans

𝚂𝚄𝙶𝙰𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙰 » you were riding him and he went to slap your ass, but something went wrong either because you were riding too quickly or he was shaking too much, boy ended up slapping himself in the balls. you’ve never heard that boy scream that loud in your life

𝙰𝚂𝙰𝙷𝙸 » literally pulled out in the middle of sex to get up and rush to the corner of his room to flip around his childhood teddy bears. your just laying there with your tiddies and coochie out waiting for asahi to shield the eyes of mr. wiggles

𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙺𝙰 » you two were having pretty intense shower sex until tanaka did the number one thing your not supposed to do during shower sex; this muthafucker slipped while holding you. long story short, y’all were okay but just ended up having nasty shower floor sex??

𝙽𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙾𝚈𝙰 » this tiny ass 5′2 man was unconsciously humping your leg while you were both asleep?? his presumably pleasurable wet dream had turned into a sudden nightmare when you literally had to KICK him off you to stop the humping. bad nishinoya, bad!

𝙺𝙰𝙶𝙴𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰 » came WAYYY too early inside you, but he was too embarrassed to say anything so he just... kept going. sadly, no one had warned kageyama of the intense effects of overstimulation. he was shaking and whimpering so badly behind you to the point where you had to ask him to pull out and bring him a glass of water to calm down

𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙰𝚃𝙰 » the first time you squirted on him, he just blatantly asked you these exact few words that left you feeling mortified: “did you just piss on me?” nuh uh hinata, this water fountain ain’t yours to drown in anymore >:( 

𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙺𝙸𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » kei was hitting it from the back pretty hard this time, so hard that you were suddenly... on an angle? suddenly, now you two were much closer to the floor than before. the bed ended up collapsing, yes literally collapsing due to kei’s powerful thrusts. worst part is, nobody got to finish since kei dragged you to ikea to grumpily buy a new bedframe. but hey, he bought you ikea meatballs; that shit hits so different

𝚈𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝚄𝙲𝙷𝙸 » one super duper intense night, he passed out the SECOND he came. no matter how much you flicked the temple of his forehead, yamaguchi was dead asleep. you had to literally slap him awake to get him to clean up, you ain’t risking a ranky stanky UTI puthy in the morning

𝙾𝙸���𝙰𝚆𝙰 » kept calling himself a sex machine during the act. i don’t know if it was due to the 6 tequila shots he had beforehand or just his inner ego revealing, whatever it was it was about to make your pussy close

𝙸𝚆𝙰𝚉𝚄𝙼𝙸 » this one time, he kept going in at a weird angle which caused you to repeatedly queef for 7 minutes straight. every time you told him to pull out and go in properly, he laughed and kept going in at that one weird angle!! was your embarrassment a turn on for him?? maybe!! but were you mortified? absolutely!!

𝙼𝙰𝚃𝚃𝚂𝚄𝙽 » i’m sorry to have to be the one to announce this, but this man had the worst case of full blown bush you’ve ever seen. like, he didn’t even try to manscape or anything at all. you ended up begging him to trim just a tiny bit because you weren’t gonna risk choking on a pube whilst your going down on him

𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙺𝙸 » rubbed your left labia thinking it was your clit. and he kept doing that. the whole. fucking. time. even when you subtly moved his fingers towards your clit, he just kept going back to the left lip.

𝙺𝚄𝙽𝙸𝙼𝙸 » had the most dry and dull dirty talk you’ve ever heard. like, it’s not even dirty talk at this point; it’s just clean talk. there’s no passion when he talks! he uses the same tone he would use for anyone else at any other moment. to paint the picture, imagine riding kunimi and he’s just there with a furrowed expression like “yup, that feels really good”

𝙺𝚈𝙾𝚃𝙰𝙽𝙸 » tried to pull one of those unexpected anal scenes that he saw from a porno, without telling you beforehand. life lesson here; if you party at shit's house, don't be surprised if shit's at the party

𝙺𝚄𝚁𝙾𝙾 » you two were looking to get a little more kinky in terms of BDSM, so kuroo watched like 30 tutorials on youtube on how to safely tie you up so you won’t fall or anything. this bitch ended up tying rope knots that were practically impossible to undo, which resulted in you hanging from the ceiling for approximately 2 hours pussy-ass naked while kuroo tried to cut you down with a kitchen knife

𝙺𝙴𝙽𝙼𝙰 » wanted to spice things up with some dirty talk, like the real nasty talk they use in pornos but not the normal pornos; the shitty company ones with horrific acting. he really ended up announcing that he was going to “fuck your fucking fanny off, you twat”

𝙻𝙴𝚅 » got super excited while he was opening the lube since he hadn’t gotten to fuck you in a WHILE, which resulted the lube leaked everywhere and a giant 6′5 man slipping and hitting his head on the bed frame. worst part is; he had to go to the ER with a hard on that refused to go away

𝙱𝙾𝙺𝚄𝚃𝙾 » speaking of boners that wouldn’t go away, let’s not forget that one time bokuto took two viagras when you texted him to come over for a special occasion. he horribly misinterpreted the ‘special occasion’ text, because he showed up to your house with a huge buldge in his pants as your parents stand before him holding anniversary cards, completely horrified

𝙰𝙺𝙰𝙰𝚂𝙷𝙸 » wanted to make valentines day sex as romantic as he could, so he did the classic lighting candles and giving roses. everything was beautiful, until he accidently knocked one of the bigger candles over during missionary. this not only caused a huge ass fire in your bedroom, but he came right as the fire began to spread. boy was debating on whether his orgasm was to die for or not

𝙺𝙾𝙽𝙾𝙷𝙰 » had a nose bleed when he was going down on you and you both were immediately horrified, you thinking it was your period and him thinking he just ate coochie blood. yet as you went to go clean up, you realized his face had much more blood on it than your coochie did. to this day, he still blames it on your period 

𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙹𝙸𝙼𝙰 » threw you onto the bed and your head went through the wall. he didn’t even bother to ask you if you were okay, he just sighed and went “well, now i have to make a call to the construction guy. excuse me” and he left you and your concussed ass head sit there once again, pussy ass naked

𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙾𝚄 » during a blowjob, he held your head down right as he was coming causing the cum to shoot up your throat and somehow pour out of your nose. by the time he pulled out, he could barely breath from laughing at you. sure, the classic ‘milk shooting out of nose’ thing was funny at first until you got a sinus infection and had to breath out of your mouth for the next three days

𝚂𝙴𝙼𝙸 » always insists having sex in the most inconvenient places?? like he would pull you to side while grocery shopping and start grinding up against you as you pick which brand of cheese would be better??

𝙶𝙾𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙺𝙸 » he kept getting frustrated that his bangs were clouding his field of vision, so he irritably grabbed a hair tie and frantically tied up the sides of his bangs while he was fucking you. you immediately burst out laughing since he looked exactly like boo from monsters inc. 

𝚃𝙴𝚁𝚄𝚂𝙷𝙸𝙼𝙰 » got so drunk that he ended up fucking the couch. like he was just there on top of you, and his dick was just sliding between the folds of the leather couch. you decided to let him finish like that

𝚂𝙰𝙺𝚄𝚂𝙰 » had a really bad reaction to one of the products he used while shaving and ended up getting super irritated down there so he kept having to pull out in-between thrusts to itch his crotch. to make things worse, you joking suggested that he looked like he had syphilis and he got so disgusted at the idea of that thought that he literally had to pull out and take a breather 

𝙾𝚂𝙰𝙼𝚄 » drizzled ‘warm’ chocolate down your chest and was about to seductively lick it off until you screamed in pain and horror as the chocolate was literally burning your skin off. osamu panicked, obviously not knowing what to do if chocolate was burning his partners skin off so he just... frantically licked it off. you still had to go to the ER afterwards to get treated for mild burns

𝙰𝚂𝚃��𝙼𝚄 » didn’t know what a hymen was until the first time he tried to have sex with you. no matter how much he tried to shove his schlong in, it really just wasn’t working + “yer puss is broken”

𝚂𝚄𝙽𝙰 » pinched your nipples so fucking hard to the point where you started crying. he thoughts these were tears of pleasure until you literally had to kick him off you. but hey, he gave you ice for your sore nipples and mcdonalds! what more could a girl possibly want :)

uh the end lol

also, this idea was inspired by the first haikyuu headcanon i ever read, “awkward sex moments” by @bbytetsu <3

[nari-nim]

yeosang as your boyfriend

nari note: kicking off the bf series with this king. who do you want to see next? creds for gif goes to @holy-yeosang​

Let’s be honest, you might have to make the first move with him

But it’s worth it because yeosang is actually such boyfriend material

He takes comfort in established familiarity and warm-heartedness, so likes taking things slow and understanding your personality more than anything

Shy boi at first even as y’all are dating

It can take a long time to reach the point he’s super comfortable. 

But please be patient with him because he really has super intense and strong feelings for you

Super playful and chaotic once he feels max comfortable around you!!

Type to be quiet around others but then rambles nonstop with you. Would be so funny too, he has so many hot takes he was holding in 

Can be unpredictable, but not in a bad way! 

More like he just stares at you in such a straight face until you get slightly worried, but he just feeds you three pocky sticks, kisses your lips as you are munching in confusion, and then leaves

Also please he’s so funny??? Like it’s not the type of humor like Wooyoung who just is so loud and makes everyone laugh, but the type where he makes such snarky or intellectual jabs at the situation/those around him

So it just ends up with the two of your snickering on the side

So many inside jokes

So much laughter, always 

Definitely the type to tease you as his form of flirting

Enjoys personal attention and lots of eye contact when talking about literally anything that comes to mind

Really likes just sitting with you somewhere cozy and talking about life for hours and hours on end

Once he’s comfortable, he’s actually so adorably expressive and unafraid to return PDA

While he may struggle with emotional expression at times, physical affection can stand in loving words for him

While not as touchy as San or Wooyoung, he isn’t afraid to have the two of you be in your own world

Sits close to you at any given opportunity and quietly takes care of you

Like offering you snacks first, moves your hair behind your ears, urges you to wrap you arms around his, gives you his jacket

He’s the type to love you quietly

Actions speak louder than words, and his actions are so incredibly thoughtful and attentive

For example, he may not be tripping over himself to tell you just how much he loves you 24/7 but he never fails to open soft drinks for you after the one time your nail broke in front of him when you tried to pry the metal tab open, he literally ignores the group chat but makes sure he bids you good morning and good night because he’s seen how happy they make you feel, etc

Ok but he is so kind even if he rarely voices it. You can absolutely count on him to be there for emotional and practical support whenever it’s needed.

Very trusting in the relationship

He is really understanding of you having friends/a life outside of him so he’s less likely to get jealous

Really rational in disagreements

Sometimes it can get hard to read his expressions, so it’s important you both learn to communicate a lot to keep the relationship healthy! He’s actually really good at voicing his thoughts and opinions well once he has the space to do so

Values reciprocation

Will do aegyo to make you blush or sway things in his favor. And then will proceed to hide his face immediately after

please he is Adorable

You’re his hype man. He will also then get super shy, but loves every single second of it. Secretly wants you to hype him up nonstop

I think he secretly really enjoys words of affirmation as his primary love language (receiving).

Compliments can be a little rare from him, so when he does compliment you, you know he really means it!! 

And he will roast you

Sometimes, he has his fun by occasionally starting some verbal sparring followed by intense making up. 

Like he’ll choose a topic and say something so wild about it just to see your expression. Pushes your buttons a little before either one of you has to shut the other up through a make out session or a bet

Just very trustworthy, loyal, loving and faithful as a whole uwu

NSFW after this

With that being said, he’s a switch

I don’t see power play being as big of deal for him tbh, he likes to go with the flow with what you both feel like during the moment

literally his preference to dom or sub may actually depend on you and the dynamic of the relationship

when he’s dom, he’s soft or hard depending on the mood as well

but ngl I’m leaning on that hard dom agenda

Sex with him can start out a bit vanilla at first

He’s so careful and wants you to be comfy :’)

But give it a few rounds and lots of communication, his kinky ass will take over

Takes a lot of joy in pleasing you, and can take this to an extreme where he just wants to watch you cum again and again and again from his touch

Um can be a bit of a sadist 

Type to ask you if it hurts while overstimulating you and says “good” when you moan in affirmation 

Secretly has a thing to see you cry 

Also really likes edging

He likes driving you so desperate to the point you’re begging him to let you cum

As you’re reaching and moaning for him he’ll say in a teasing tone “oh really, what do you want? You want my cock? Hm? Is that it?” 

Just to hear your pleady whines

That mocking tone will send shivers down anyone’s spine 

Oh My God you cannot tell me he won’t have a degradation kink (giving)

Also the type to be like “use your words” while he’s going down on you and then proceed to suck your clit extra hard, making you unable to form coherent sounds through your loud moans. It then becomes his excuse to edge you for yet another round because you didn’t use your words, did you?

Whew, anyways

Grab onto his biceps while he rails into you and notice how they flex underneath you as he starts pounding harder in response

Likes to show off his gains by pushing you up against a wall 

Also likes it when you top him

Likes hearing you really vocal, even though he’s more on the quieter side when he isn’t dirty talking

Usually just groans when hitting an extra sensitive spot or when you give a particularly good blowjob that day

Likes having you go down on him as foreplay, but prefers penetration as an end goal

Into the classic missionary and launchpad positions so he can see your expression clearly as he overstimulates/edges you

Likes seeing you look up at him through those teary eyes <3

But also very into doggy style

Likes fucking you into the sheets in general, so any position adjacent to that is on his favorites list

um his fingering game is so strong

In the mornings, likes slowly fucking you from behind while spooning you so he can also grab onto your tits or play with your clit

His end goal always is to make you feel so fucking good, it just manifests differently than service tops like Seonghwa or Yunho

Very private about your sex life and not into public sex at all

Possessive in that way. Only he can touch you like that, see you like that, hear your moans like that, etc

Likes hearing you confirm that 

“Only I can make you scream like this”

“Who fucks you this good, huh?”

“C’mon, say it louder.” 

Has one hell of a degradation kink (giving) me thinks

Likes it when you talk back, lowkey likes brat taming when he’s in a dom mood

But does like teasing you in public and keeping it like that until you both find a bedroom, gets off on the idea of you both having to hide your neediness in public

Very little people expect that from just seeing you both together in regular settings 

But little do they know despite the two of you innocently sitting together eating brunch with the team, leaving a few inches for jesus, y’all just had the freakiest sex before getting there. Like you’re literally shifting around in your seat as the soreness kicks in, and Yeosang is smirking ever so slightly at your discomfort

Will rest a heavy head on your upper thigh for a few seconds, brushing his pinky finger against your clothed clit through the thin fabric of your outfit, as he reaches for the bread basket 

Likes hearing that little gasp leaving your lips

Knows he’s leaving you very frustrated and will use that to his advantage later

The whole time, he has the most innocent, fair expression on his face

when he’s a sub tho?

similar vibes. wants you to feel good. 

Still wants to dirty talk, but it’s far more subservient now

one quick way to get him into subspace

if you push him far enough, then he’s so pouty and clingy and fucking cute

It’s so rare to see him like this but always such a treat

favorite positions is to have you ride him and he’ll play with your tits

or he’s still fucking you into the sheets but you are 100% in control

Just imagine him all whiny and teary as he fucks into you, begging you to let him cum as your clench your walls purposely around him, making him yelp as he tries to still his shaking thighs to wait for your signal

actually can be quite obedient as a sub

truly will do his best to be your good boy 

Anyways, aftercare is pretty good with him. He’s very caring and gentle and checks in a lot with you (he better, usually he fucks quite a few rounds out of you)

If he’s fucked out tho, make sure he is also taken care of! As a sub, he follows your orders so well so he’ll probably fall asleep so fast after intensely cumming for the nth time 

At the very least wipes you both down clean with a warm washcloth and kisses you to sleep

Likes spooning you at the end :’)

give him his cuddles </3

masterlist

[headcans-oneshots-and-stuff]

Batboys x Cosplayer!reader (preference)

Requested by the great @middevil465���: Batboys dating a cosplayer,but downside is that they have to put up with their sewing at 2am

Dick: 

Okay so this boy will be your biggest fanboy

ESPECIALLY if you cosplay him as Nightwing

(Not to be kinky on main, but depending on how..uhm... showing... the costume is he might get a bit frisky if ya know what I mean)

He wants to help as much as possible

You have to finish sewing that cape, but your wig isn’t styled yet? Don’t worry, Dick has enough expirence from his long hair phase to take care of that for you!

You want to cosplay a certain hero (or villain), but can’t fid that specific item that would make the cosplay perfect (maybe a weapon, a mask, etc.)? Dick might or might not steal borrow said item from the original hero for you (of course he gives it back after you had a photoshoot or something similar and he always feels a bit bad for the hero (not for the villains tho))

Now to the “downsides”

Dick, unlike some of his siblings, actually rather enjoys sleep

“I need my beauty sleep, all this perfection doesn’t come from nothing”

And he is honestly torn

He loves and supports you so so so much and he understands that you can be your most productive around the nighttimes, but he just came back from like two to three hours of patrol after a whole day of working at the police station and he honestly just want to sleeeeeeeeeeeep

So he finds a comprimise and fucking sound isolates the room your sewing in

It’s a win-win if we think about it and you probably would go as far as to just completely take over the room to make it your own little cosplay studio 

Everyone sleeps is happy 

Jason:

Jason is a whole ass hurricane 

Don’t misunderstand me, he loves your hobby and he thinks it’s cool, but how excited he is depends on who exactly you cosplay

Him? Amazing, showstopping, great, breathtaking, nothing more amazing ever happened in this triste gray world before that

Robin (also slightly depending on which incarnation)? Cute, want to cuddle, 9/10 would do again

Batman? “That looks nice babe, you can take it off now” (Please don’t wear a more feminine toned (or just in general reaveling if you’re not female) batman cosplay. Jason is not ready for that amount of daddy issues) 

Someone like Harley, Ivy, Selina? Hell, even penguine or Riddler? He digs it for some reason and he might even show the respective rouge a picture of the cosplay (if he knows that it’s not possible to identify you).

They all love it, possible have a little fanclub

You cosplay as any other hero? Depending on how much of a little fangirl Jason is he will be really exsited and happy with you

Now, if you, for some unknown reason like losing your brain, because quite honestly that’s what it would take for me, decide to cosplay the Joker...

Welp, you’re single now... Sorry not sorry, but Jason is not okay with that

But that’s just a real extreme so let’s get away from that again, shall we?

Jason is used to being kept awake at night, be it from his thoughts or his nightmares (Housten, we’re sinking to deep)

So when he comes home from patrol around 2/3 a.m. and finds you sitting in the living room or the bedroom on your sewing machine (a gift from Bruce so state of the art technology and relativly silent, BUT NOT SILENT ENOUGH) 

He just sighs

He might just sit down beside you and watch or chat a bit or, if he feels a bit more touchy, stand beside you and braide your hair 

When you’re finished he’ll pick you up and cuddle with you in bed, trapping you effectivly for the next 8 to 10 hours

Tim: 

Did someone say couple cosplay? Because Yes. Yes you do

It isn’t that Tim ever really thought of doing cosplay or plans to use his rare free time to do it, but as soon as seing you cosplay literally anyone, he’s sold

He is a gigantic fanboy, has you cosplaying him (not Red Robin, just Tim) as his lock screen and you cosplaying Red Robin as his home screen

He’s not sure what it is, but one day he’s just sitting at his computer doing Wayne Inc. stuff when you send him a picture of you cosplaying someone and just has a metaphorical lightbulb over his head

He sneakily finds out who you will cosplay next and luckily for him it’s Zelda 

He puts everything in order and the day you want to test the cosplay out, see if everything goes together and you can pull it off, a wild Link appears

He did one hell of a job for his first cosplay (he might have had Wayne Inc. designers for the upcoming clothing line do it, but who cares amiright?) 

After that it’s kind of a tradition that once in a while the two of you pull off a couple cosplay and it’s the cutest thing ever

The highlight was when you cosplayed Batman and Catwoman on a (private) halloween party, just with the catch that you had it gender bend so Catman and Batwoman (not the Batwoman-Batwoman, but y’know what I mean), not breaking the character to the amusement of everyone present (excpet maybe Bruce who acts annoyed, but kinda thinks it’s funny)

So now to the nights

contrary to popular belief I do think Tim sleeps more than an hour or two at times

Maybe not in a healthy rythm or with any logic behind it, but he does 

Mostly

Just not nights for the most part, it’s mostly in the afternoon after a few hours at Wayne Inc, or the homeoffice or college (depending on which Tim!state we’re thinking off) and before Patrol

so when he comes home to find you sewing he’s actually rather happy

He won’t let you go to bed after you’re finished until you’re really tired or if you have something important the next day

You will watch a movie or do something stupid or even go out and see what Gotham city can give you around 3 a.m. (of course with a hidden weapon on tim’s part and him not letting you out of sight) 

Those nights are his favorite

Damian: 

Damian, like so many things, doesn’t quite understand

What’s the appeal of dressing yourself like someone you’re not?

Why do you wear fake hair?

He also doesn’t seem to see any connection between him dressing up every DAMN NIGHT 

It’s two completely different situations for him

It’s not like he does anything against that hobby of yours, but at least at the beginning he just keeps out of it 

That most likely will change if you ever decide to cosplay him (as Robin) 

If he comes to visit you after school at your place and he walks into your room (given your parents opened the front door for you) seeing you in a surprisingly good replica of his costume?

Bby boy is sold

The better the replica looks the quicker he is to fuzz over it

After that he kinda sees the point behind it (or not, but he supports it now and wants you to have even better, more detailed, costumes)

He’ll get you so much stuff

You want to cosplay someone, but the only wig you have that fits is a bit too long?

Well hillerihoo, you got a new one that fits perfectly and is almost life-like now

Don’t ever mention that you don’t feel comfortable with him spending so much money for you, because he won’t stop

He’ll find his ways to spoil you, believe me

quick interruption before we go to the night part:

If you’re Damian’s GF, you’re most likely bound to be good friends with Jon

So it’s only a question of time until he asks you to cosplay him

If you do he’ll be excited like a puppy you just gave a treat while Damian will pout

A lot

And I mean A LOT

You’ll either have to suffer through a few days of pouty Damian or you make an even better Cosplay of him (as Robin) or Batman (both works for him since he sees himself as the future Batman already)

That’ll make him happy again

Now to the night-part

Okay so let’s assume we’re talking about Teen!Damian (obviously also Teen!reader!!!) 

You two won’t be living together so that won’t be a problem and since you’re living with y’alls parents and I will assume they won’t be happy about you sewing at 2 a.m.

Also, Damian will offer to have people make the costumes for you, but he will let that go if you tell him that making the costumes is a big part about all that, the part that makes it so amazing

IF we’re talking about grown up!Damian and Reader and the two of you live together, it’ll be a lot similair to Dick (in as he get’s you your own little cosplay studio) so that he won’t be kept awake by it

but somedays he’s more like Jason and will stay up with you and to keep you company during these creative sessions

[anieswrld]

realistic nsfw mirio headcanons!

okay so basically (no hate to anybody bc i write like this too) i read a lot of stuff and the sex is always kinky or nothing goes wrong, mirios a funny boy so i think he’d be comfortable enough to handle a slip up or two so enjoy!

warnings: smut and swearing?

so we all know mirio has a decent sized dick like 9 inches and he knows how to use it right?

well you lost your virginity to him and sometimes penetration can cause bleeding right?

so he’s being gentle until you tell him he can go faster, so he does and you kinda realize he’s going a lil too hard

pls the poor baby is so confused

“sunshine, you’re-um you’re bleeding”

and you kinda panicked, “mirio pull out idiot”

and he does and you figure out that it’s not like your on your period or anything so you tell him to go slower

OKAY NEXT

so when y’all have morning sex, he’s lazily thrusting and his dick slips out a lot, so you have to get on top

you don’t care tho bc that’s your man no matter what

okay i think since he’s so strong he accidentally goes too hard. he’ll start off gently then he’s relentlessly pounding you

and it’s starting to hurt

“mirio fuck-“ you say, tugging on his hair a little to get his attention.

“what, feels good huh?” he groans, not noticing the tears from literal pain rolling during your cheeks

“no, please f-fucking stop!” you cried out and he stopped and pulled out right then and there.

he feels so bad, he never intends to hurt you. ever.

“i’m sorry sunshine, i didn’t mean to be so rough, i’ll run you a bath, okay?”

you can’t stay mad at him he’s so sorry 🥺

i also think that if you told him to stop bc it didn’t feel good or bc you can’t cum he will not care

pls just tell him, he seriously will not mind

okay so let’s say after work he comes home and it starts off good and when he’s actually fucking you, you don’t feel the sensation building up yk?

so you’re like, “babe, can we stop, i’m not feeling it.”

he’ll pull out and suggest to take you to dinner he doesn’t care at all.

okay last lil thing

so basically you’re trying out new kinks with him and you wanted to try degradation, he wasn’t a fan but was willing to attempt it

when y’all started it was good and hot but then he got really mean bc he was trying to hard

“you’re useless i should find someone else.”

or

“aw can’t even get your man off, you’re so bad at everything”

and you started sobbing (i would too) and he stopped doing whatever he was doing and hugged you.

“sunshine i didn’t mean it baby, i am so sorry.”

anyways he’s very open to talk about sex so please be open with him

[aria-chicken-flugget]

The Brothers (+Undateables)

React to A CRONCHIE MC

MC who’s joints crack randomly OR has Joint Hypermobility Syndrome

For @offbrandmilk and The Simp Club 😂✌️

The Brothers ~

Lucifer 🔥

Y’all are chillin in his study as he finishes up his work when *CRONCH*

He snaps his gaze up, that disgusted surprise on his face at the noise

“MC... did you- did you just make that noise?”

“Ah yea, sometimes my back cracks randomly when I get up lol.”

*Disgust intensifies*

“Do you... need assistance of some kind, perhaps?”

Would relax and sigh with relief when you say no

“You humans never cease to amaze me.” “Thanks!” “... That wasn’t a compliment.” “:(“

Would Glare TM each time it happens, making you feel increasingly self conscious

Until he’ll inexplicably soften - “MC...” “Yes?” “When -“ he’ll huff, “Doesn’t that hurt you? To do that...?”

His brows downturned, blush upon his cheeks as he attempts to examine the latest CRONCH

If yes, will personally see to it that you are looked after during those times - “it’s not that bad Lucifer! Really!” Does not register lol

If no, will revert back to being vexed or ‘disgusted’ by it, especially in public

Clicks his knuckles, on purpose, with a sickening crack

“You hypocrite!”

Mammon 💵

You’re messing with the Levi, having taken a treasured figurine to ‘sell’ when you drop it

“Hurry up would ya? He’ll catch up!”

You squat to pick it up when *CRONCH*

In the heat of the chase, silence falls dead

A solid minuet of Mammon frowning between you and your knees before anyone speaks

The Most Expressive Derp TM

“Wha- what the heck was that?!”

You rise, brushing it off with an exasperated sigh “It’s nothing, happens a lot.”

“We don’t even make that noise when Lucifer punishes us.”

Would occasionally steal glances thinking he’s being surreptitious about it when you finally ask “What is it?” Would fiercely deny it

“Pfft Me? THE GREAT MAMMON? Starin’? Ha - in your DREAMS Human.” Blush

*Spongebob narrator voice* 5 Seconds Later

“Ok so what if i was starin’, huh? It was weird!”

... “You’re fine though, right? It didn’t hurt ya doin that to get the toy of his, right?”

... “Mammon! Would you stop looking at me like i’m going to snap in half if you breathe?!” Blush

Levi 👾

You’re doing a co-op match of a horror game you’re trying with him - things get jumpy when *CRONCH*

You’d bent your arms ‘inhumanly’ at a jump scare, accompanied by a CRONCH

Levi thought it was the game that made that sickening crack

You wish you could frame the horror stricken expression that turns to face you after a dumb moment

His face unmoving, his eyes flit to your bent back arms and your casual smile

Error 404, Levi does not compute

You break the silence with a laugh, “Oh yea i’ve got hypermobility -“ bends arms further

He snaps out of it with a “Wooooaaaaaaaahhhhh!!” “Eek!” As you tease him a bit further

“The game’s scary enough!” “LOLOLOL”

Actually finds it really cool

Quickly gets you two to cosplay and roleplay usuing your ‘Special Ability’ as he’d call it

Would 100% roleplay kinky and try to do it himself, too

Fails

Satan 📚

He’d be teaching you how to play chess in the library. Silent focus, from jovial to tense... until *CRONCH*

Raised brows as he meets your blushing features. You scratch your head, nervous for disturbing the silence

He frowns, a smirk tugging his lips, “Did you just make that sound?”

“I didn’t do it on purpose to put you off or anything -“ “Good. Or else i’d have to punish you.”

You try not to combust at the unintentional insinuation

Otherwise lets it slide, finding it ‘odd’ or ‘quirky’, even endearing...

Likes that he’s the first and only brother to know about this ‘quirk’ of yours

Barely notices it/doesn’t mind at all

That is until, you CRONCH in the silence he requires in order to read dense text

He eyes you darkly as you CRONCH for the fourth time in a row - you wince

“Sorry!” A harsh whisper before you creep out to CRONCH your back elsewhere

Smirks as you leave, shaking his head before calling you back in - as though it were an ‘inconvenience’ to do so

Asmodeus 💋

He’d drawn you a bath in his own king sized tub, ready to spoil you rotten for your spa day

You’d sunk into the tub with an appreciative hum as he began rubbing massage oil in your wrists

He’d set the mood PERFECTLY as usual

“How am I supposed to control myself when you sing so sweetly?” Wiggly brows

There wasn’t a crick, nor a crack... BUT A *CRONCH*

He freezes, you peel your eyes open with a suppressed smile. He makes a choked noise, the mood having been shot dead

“Honey... what the hell was that noise?”

Knowing full well it was your wrists that made such a deafening crack

You giggle at his tense expression, as he asks “So are you secretly an eighty year old, or?”

You explain you have joint hypermobility syndrome, which is sometimes painful

After getting over his initial freak out, he pampers you EVEN MORE

“You come to me if it hurts honey, ok?”

Your pain is his pain, though he may not show it, he actually gets intensely upset if something truly hurts you

Beelzebub 🍔

You’re chilling in your room together, with take out from a new chain beside Hell’s Kitchen, both making happy yummy noises as you eat

*CRONCH*

Beel pauses mid bite, but shrugs and keeps eating. Maybe there was lettuce in his burger after all?

You remember - sauce! Can’t eat with Beel without the full experience!

“Hey there’s some Hellfire sauce in the kitchen lemme grab it real quick -“ “:)”

You get up to get it when - *CRONCH* there go your ankles again. Welp.

His eyebrows raise a second, “MC... are you ok?”

You smile, laughing off how that happens sometimes

He frowns in thought before shrugging with a laugh alongside you, “Fair enough.” Seems legit lmao

He’s seen weirder shit and is still unfazed by it so he does not give a flying fuck lol

“As long as it doesnt hurt.” “:)”

If your joints/limbs were particularly sore or even dislocated that day, he would gently scoop you up and carry you anywhere <3

Belphegor 😴

Your napping in his arms as the little spoon, just between wake and sleep as he snuggles into you. You shift to get comfy when *CRONCH*

He freezes, you freeze too, trying not to laugh

“MC...” he begins groggily “What the fuck was that noise you just made?”

You explain sometimes you just CRONCH. It be like that sometimes Belphie, it do

He doesnt believe you, especially since you’re laughing as you explain it

“No really! I’m serious!” “Then why are you laughing?” “Because it’s funny! You’re reaction pfft” “>:(“

“If your weird human body wakes me up i’m not gonna nap with you again.”

He doesnt mean it

*Goes to leave because you CRONCHED* “Well, where do you think you’re going?”

*Visible Confusion* He flashes a cocky grin, “You’re not skipping out on being my Pillow.”

Grabs your CRONCHY wrist and tugs you back under the covers for more snuggles

“But you said -“ “Shut up and sleep”

*Kisses your forehead* “:)” <3

The Undateables ~

Luke 👼

He’s baking treats for you, Beel and Simeon when you offer a hand when you see him sturggle with the tray and *CRONCH*

The Most Disgusted Face TM

Almost drops the tray on your feet

“What in this disgraceful Devildom was that noise, MC?!”

“My joints do that sometimes” with a shrug and laugh as you #Take 2 with the baking

Turns his nose up “That was a horrible noise no wonder the demons love you so much.”

Tries and fails to act prim and proper as he carries the tray from your grasp, only for Beel to tackle the tray and eat the first batch

This ’Chihuahua’ is all bark and no bite, doesnt mean a word

After a silence, he’ll ask quietly, “Are you... hurt by it?” Little blushy face

If no, he’ll smile and turn his attention back to the sweet treats. If yes, he’ll be a sad puppy

“I’m alright, Luke! Don’t worry.” “Ok :)”

Will fight any demon anyone who may question or mock you over it, even though it doesnt bother you

“ChOtTo MaTtE! >:(“ #NotSoSilentProtector

Simeon 😇

Your walking to class together at RAD when he drops his books. You insist on plucking them from the ground for him when *CRONCH*

Surprised Pikachu Face TM

Breaks into That Smile TM and laughs with you at your cronchie knees

“That was... certainly an interesting noise.”

You don’t need to explain, but you do for the record so to speak

He gets weirdly curious about it, Is it all humans? Do you enforce cronchie joints upon your young? Mandatory or compulsory to be a human with cronchie joints? “:’)”

Will try to CRONCH too out of curiosity

It doesn’t go badly per se, but it doesn’t go well either

“Simeon, stop before you hurt yourself.”

Similarly to Beel, is hardly fazed by it at all when considering some shit this boi has seen

“Oooh like what?! *~*” He smiles all Innocent TM “You don’t want to know.”

Innocent my ass

“Now I wanna know more!”

Solomon 🧙‍♂️

He’s showing you some magic to prank the brothers in a sneak attack when *CRONCH*

He eyes you with That Smirk TM and bursts out laughing with you

“Hey! Me too!” *CRONCH* his knuckles

You two start CRONCH Wars

You act out lines of Star Wars to each other ever since and CRONCH, terrifying the Demon Brothers and Purgatory Hall

“MC, I AM your father.” *CRONCH*

Somewhere nearby, Lucifer holds the bridge of his nose with a deep *sigh*

You both sneak attack the others with CRONCHES, scaring the shit out of them

apart from Beel or Satan. They don’t notice or see it coming, respectively

You did it once to Lucifer. You did not want to do it again ... *~*

You start to slowly recruit others to the CRONCH wars, starting with Levi and Mammon

“When will this nonsense end?” “THE CRONCH WARS NEVER END, LUCIFER. NEVEEER.”

Would CRONCH next to you when you’re asleep to freak you out

*CRONCH* “Solomon... why are you in my bedroom?”

Barbatos 🕰

He’s showing you how to prepare the Hellfire cigar rolled cookies so that you can teach Lucifer, when *SPLAT*

...

Jk, it’s ofc a *CRONCH* - but i nearly got ya! haha ok sorry i’ll stop

Anyway, *CRONCH* go your shoulders as you bend over a simmering tray to get a whiff

Your eyes pop open as you hear the sickening crack and Barbatos makes a small surprised choking noise

You lift your gaze with a nervous smile only to see him smirk

“That was a... curious noise, MC.” That small chuckle behind his gloved hand, “Is that a regular occurrence?”

Laughs it off, shrugs. Surprised he didn’t see it coming when he quite literally knows all

Ignores it from then on

However will chuckle behind that glove if the timing is particularly humourous

Will seem unfazed if it hurt you, but his actions would speak for him.

Making you tea and checking on you more frequently, even if you’re not at the palace

Would snark anyone who comments on your CRONCHINESS like the diva he secretly is

Diavolo 👑

You’re visiting the palace on your best behaviour, taking a stroll with Diavolo when *CRONCH*

He’s smiling through a frown as he tries to work out where the noise came from

“Was - was that you, MC?” That Laugh TM head tipped back, tears in his eyes laughing

“Hahah such fun!” *CRONCH*

He CRONCHED his arms to CRONCH with you, only he CRONCHED too far

His arms are stuck in their newfound ‘unsightly’ position

Puppy eyes as he can’t seem to UN-CRONCH

Your turn to burst out laughing, he quickly joins you

Lucifer’s hand flies to his chest when he sees you two return - “MC... did you have something to do with this?” Glare

You flush, about to fight your case when Diavolo steps in with That Smile TM

“I wanted to joint in!” “...” “;)” *FacePalm*

“It was fun, you should try it Lucifer!”

Satan snickers at the double meaning - “Fun? Lucifer doesn’t know how to have fun.”

Diavolo pulls those Sad Puppy Eyes TM

By the end of the night Lucifer literally bent over backwards to make Diavolo happy lolololol

Don’t take these too seriously! Mostly a shit post for the simp club lolol - hope they made you smile! ✨

[kalypsichor]

five’s a crowd [ beatles x reader] part three

chapter summary: Ringo is sweet. George is dumb and emotionally-constipated. At this point you’re more likely to go to jail than pass your midterms. Oh, and Paul is going to get his ass whipped. parts one and two here

warnings: 1.1k of chaos

borhap reference if ya squint. astericks indicate nerdy-ass footnotes which will be at the bottom

masterlist

Even with the nice noise-cancelling headphones you’d gotten for your birthday, you can still hear them going at it in the living room. Every melodic break is punctuated by George’s yelling and Paul’s shrill, defensive hollars. There’s a drum break and, really, you aren’t sure whether that was the crash of a cymbal or something being thrown. You pray it’s the former.

The door to your bedroom opens and Ringo slips in, closing it quietly behind him. Removing your headphones, you only catch the tail-end of what he says.

“-ing to?”

“Huh?”

He smiles and sits next to you on the bed. “I asked what you’re listening to.”

“Oh!” You scoot over to give Ringo more room, not that there is much to begin with—as the only girl, you’d gotten a bedroom all to yourself. This has many perks, such as not having to see the boys’ bare arses and getting to have lots of… alone time. The downside is having the smallest fucking bedroom ever. “It’s some band called the Crickets.”

“Some band?” Ringo takes the offered earbud. “You mean the most popular rock band in the sixties? The first all-woman group to be signed to a record label*, the one that revolutionised the era’s socio-cultural movements?”

“You are a total dork,” you laugh, turning up the volume to one of your favorite songs.

“I grew up in the city where they were formed! ‘Some band’...” He shakes his head with mock disgust. “Don’t disrespect JennyPatsyGilandRita** like that ever again.”

“Why d’you say their names like that?”

“You have to. It’s like… ” Ringo adjusts himself on your pillows and you lean your head on his shoulder, careful not to bump his cast. “It’s like JohnandPaul. You couldn’t say PaulandJohn… that would just be weird.”

“You’re weird.”

“Ace comeback, that was.”

The flat has quieted by now but you don’t notice over your bickering until a knock sounds on the door. George pokes his head in and his face makes an odd expression at the two of you giggling together.

“Hey.” George calls your name softly. “Something, erm, something happened in the kitchen.”

“... what do you mean?”

He looks at the floor. “ItwasPaul’sfault.”

“It was NOT MY FUCKING FAULT,” Paul shouts from afar. You narrow your eyes and hop off the bed, stomping up to George who suddenly looks very terrified.

“When I find out, you won’t have anywhere to hide, Harrison,” you hiss. He takes a very small step back. You press a finger into his (very firm) chest, look him hard in the eye, and then stalk into the hallway.

“You know that scene in Wonder Woman?”

“What?” George blinks, bewildered at Ringo’s non-sequitur. “What are you talking about?”

“Y’know, the one where Gal Gadot throws that bad guy across the pub… and Chris Pine is all-” Ringo stands up and makes a shocked face. “And then the other guy says ‘I’m both… frightened and aroused’ or something like that.”

“Um.”

“Yeah.” The older boy walks past him, pauses, and pats him on the shoulder with his not-bad wrist. “That’s you, Geo.”

And then George is all alone, standing in the doorway to your room. Your headphones are still blaring music. He crosses the room to turn it off and, on second-thought, puts them into his ears and sits down. Ringo’s favorite band. George turns the boy’s words over in his head. Thinks about how happy you had looked, laughing with Ringo just moments before. Falls backwards onto the bed, bouncing slightly on the mattress.

“Fuck,” he says to the ceiling, and the Crickets’ drummer agrees with a particularly loud crash.

---

Fuck is what John says when he sees your expression. “Fuck,” he repeats and then laughs, turning to Paul. “You are so fucking fucked.”

Paul ignores him. “Look,” he says, backing away from your glare. He eyes the weapon you’ve picked up in your hand. “I didn’t mean—I mean, it was really Geo that did it, y’know. He was going off about the whole shower thing, which is really, y’know, not my fault anyway. And then I—well, he—so. That’s why, uh.” He gestures at the wreckage. “Y’know.”

“If you say y’know one more time I will shove this so far up your arse you’ll be tasting espresso for weeks.“

John, who’s been watching this whole exchange like a ping pong match, snickers. “Kinky.”

“Not the coffee machine,” Ringo protests. He’s standing a safe distance away, only a foot from the door out of which he could escape at any given moment.

You’re not even pissed, not really. No, this is funny. This whole day, you’ve been holding in a truly terrible cackle, a tickling pressure that’s been building and building and building. After your conversation with Ringo you’d thought that maybe it would go away (he had that effect on people) but this. This is making bells and whistles go off in your cranium as something in you spirals into insanity. Wheeeeeee! Yes, you’re not angry because it’s funny, it’s absolutely hilarious that the universe has got it out for you, that nothing is going your way.

Paul has spilled coffee all over your stuff. ‘Stuff’ being your textbooks, your lecture notes, your meticulously organized pens. The pages are starting to dry already, large patches of brown blurring words together (of the right chapter!) and making the paper brittle-looking, like the Declaration of Independence you’d once seen on tv. That was the movie with Nicholas Cage, you think to yourself. I hope they have televisions in jail, you comment internally. I haven’t seen that movie in so long!

The whole flat is dead silent and tense, so tense the air feels thicker and no one, not even John, dares to move. One wrong step and the whole thing will blow. Paul stares at you. You stare at the kitchen table. With a surprisingly stable hand, you set the coffee pot back onto the tabletop. It plops down with a wet squelch and—

You laugh. You bring your hands up to your face and just laugh, shoulders shaking. You cry with laughter because your binder is soaked through with what look like shit stains, the floor that had been wet with George-puddle this morning is now sopping with cold espresso, Paul is mouthing Hail Mary’s, and Ringo’s practically got a foot out the door. Slowly, hesitantly, everyone else starts laughing too. George, who has been standing in the hallway the entire time, feels something spidery trickle down his spine.

“I knew you’d come ‘round,” Paul says. He comes to your side of the table and claps a hearty hand on your shoulder.

You stop laughing and smile, smile so hard it hurts. Very, very slowly, you look at Paul’s hand and then his eyes, which seem to realize something with a dawning horror.

“Oh, Paul.” You shake your head and reach up to grasp his hand. He goes to take it away but your grip is vice-like. “I’m going to fucking murder you.”

The door slams shut behind Ringo.

* the actual first all-woman group to be signed to a record label: Goldie & the Gingerbreads, to Atlantic Records in 1964. so this would be true, assuming our pseudo-beatles band was formed at the same time the beebles were (1960)

** in the top 100 girl's names in england around 1944: 2. patricia, 18. jennifer, 23. gilliam, 41. rita. I DO MY FUCKIN RESEARCH Y’ALL

[unboundbnha]

hoooo my god. this is for ME

for me. for godzilla. :’) 

➤ rules; make headcanons of you and a character of your choice, be it sfw or nsfw.

Thank you so much for tagging me @spicyness​! I’m gonna SKAJHDSKJ. HHHHH. This is everything? Fuck I just want a purple boyfriend 😫 this will be about Shinsou because I like him a normal amount :-)

First off, I’m a pain in the ass. My sense of humor is wack (it’s basically just ‘annoy my friends and loved ones’), I’m always fricken TANKING The Mood (because it’s funny and I physically cannot resist making a Funny if the opportunity’s there), everything turns into a game unless you make me stop wink wonk. Shinsou seems like the type to snort in amusement and roll his eyes at my dumb antics, and I appreciate that! If I could make him legit laugh I’d die happy. (I am also emotionally savvy enough to know when to draw the line though, don’t worry. It’s just, man, my idea of fun is ‘LET’S ROAST ‘EM’)

I love cats. I’ll lose my whole mind over them. They NEED head kisses. Shinsou also likes cats. He also needs head kisses. That’s it, that’s the bullet point

Being open and honest and genuine is important to me. I believe most any relationship (friendship or otherwise) can work if you’re willing to communicate and empathize with the other person: I would 100% be willing to hear Shinsou’s shit, and he seems like he’d be a good listener too. I’m also good at logicking things through and he seems like he’d appreciate that. Likewise, he seems like he’d do the same for me, and as long as we stayed humble and weren’t looking to be offended (I don’t Do That -- he’s a Cancer -- love you, Cancers -- so it might take him a minute to get on the same page, but he’s emotionally smort and cares about me so I think he’d be willing to work at it) then we could help each other through emotionally hard stuff with hard truths. Plus, I’m a super honest person: if he was in a relationship with me he’d probably be pretty secure in knowing I wouldn’t hurt him on purpose. If past shit comes up with him, I’ll talk to him. Talking’s the good shit, y’all: utilize patience and empathy and you’ll be so well off!

I also battle, with a big fucking sword, a lot with mental health stuff (LMAOOOO WHO DON’T!!! YEET). I used to struggle with agoraphobia and still deal with anxiety and depression. On top of that, I have something like chronic fatigue -- I’ve been calling it chronic fatigue because I’m fucking tired, all the time. My top energy levels are like a 35% on a fantastic day. I really like the idea of this boye seeing me melting into a puddle, face down on the carpet, and bein like “how’s it going down there? you okay?” and the answer being obviously no, but him just like. Man I dunno. He seems like the kind of person who’s tired, but who can live with it. I can’t! When I’m tired, that’s it babes! I hit a 0% on my battery and I’ll collapse! So I just, hhhh. Don’t laugh, but I like to fantasize about him bundling me up and into bed. Thinkin’ about Birthday Snoot by my good friend @lord-explosion-baku​ and melting, okay?? OKAY???? I’m soft, the truth’s OUT, FUCK! I want to be taken care of like a sad but pampered cat.

(Please read Birthday Snoot I still cry over it)

Also I’m gross and struggle to shower often enough because it’s exhausting so bein given a gentle bath? oh MAN. Hands softly running through my stupid, terrible hair...asking me about my day and if anything happened that triggered me feeling this bad...just....the tenderness....the gentle affection.....being loved even when I’m at my lowest. Being cared for when I can’t do it myself. That’s a legit fantasy y’all. We out here!

I love to SNOOZE. I love being COZY. You bet your sweet bippy I’m gonna sprawl over a couch and take up the whole thing. Shinsou’d better be willing to snuggle the fuck up. I’ve got great squish which I personally feel like’s great for cuddling: I’m like warm taffy. How better to gently seep into every crevasse of your Favorite Person while enjoying a cozy cuddle?

Listen, everyone fucks hard with Shinsou calling his S/O ‘kitten’, and I agree (def have written leetle -- HOO -- leetle scenarios with that nickname because wow) but I get all wibbly with the idea of He calling me ‘Angel’. A joke at first because, like, guys, I’m really nice. (I know it sounds bad when people say they’re nice and LSDFLKJDF I AM, OKAY. I’ve worked on it. Cultivated the skill of kindness! Being kind isn’t easy, and sometimes you just wanna go apeshit, but I’ve worked hard to improve upon myself! Yeet!) But I also just really fucking love being annoying. I simply cannot resist the urge to sneak up behind someone and poke them in the ribs. I rib-poke while in the deep depths of making out too, I’ve tanked the mood a lot so picture my dumb ass Pink Panther’ing behind Shinsou, prepared to be Evil while he’s, idk, making breakfast or something, and before I can commit a Rib Crime he uses his hero training and fast reflexes and honed senses and all that good stuff to snatch my wrist and ask “what’re you up to, angel?” the answer is nothing, because he’s killed me by being sexy and fast and hero-y, and he’s probably actually killed me by startling me into collapsing like a fainting goat

He gets the deep stuff. Unfortunately for everyone and especially myself, I’m a Thinker with a capital T: it never fucking stops. I had an existential crisis for like three years in a row because of course, but I feel like he knows what it’s like to get lost in your head. Working each other out of panic attacks because holy jesus the universe sure is fucking huge huh? We’re not even a blip on the radar in the history of existence and we’re gonna be dead basically tomorrow aaaand that’s why we’d be good for each other, because I feel like we both have coping mechanisms that keep us from spiraling too bad, and we could share them with each other.

I also so fucking admire his drive, but it makes me angry that stupid fucking hero society would discriminate in the first place. 

Oh, yeah, that’s another good point: I’m hella mad about 98% of the time and I work hard to hide it! Because innocent people don’t deserve to get yelled at! I feel like Shinsou’s smart enough to sense when I’m about to pop and he can be like “heyyyyy...you wanna talk this out constructively instead of getting into a public brawl?” and I’ll be like “NO but I’ll do it for you because I love you” and then we get pizza.

Because I’m fine and balanced and stuff, I made a quirk for myself if I was in the BNHA-verse, and basically I can get stronger at the expense of higher thinking skills and will turn into a weapon of mass destruction against whatever I’m pointing at (ugh, that’s so sexy. Fuck I wanna be a big spooky buff as shit monster thing), friend or foe, so Shinsou and I would work well in tandem because if I got too rowdy he could use his quirk and get me to calm down! Keep me from accidentally doing a murder! Nice!

Okay this is nsfw so if you’re under 18 DON’T READ IT. I’LL CALL YOUR PARENTS. GET OFF MY BLOG. 

Relating to the point above, QUIRKPLAY. Mind control me into stuff I want to do but am too awkward to ask for, please and THANK you. Also, Shinsou’s a top. Gotta be, and thank god for it because I’m certainly not. I’m not happy about being a fucking bottom, because my first and most powerful personalty trait is ‘be as annoying as possible to the people you like; don’t let them tell you what to do.’ Can’t make it easy on myself, nope. Anyway, I want the appearance of being a top without the responsibility because damn, gotta be like, suave and shit. Gotta plan stuff. I don’t like that! I do that enough in real life and I don’t like it there, either! But whatever. I’m a brat and I feel betrayed by my coochie for it. But Shinsou’s a top and he’d tease me for being Fucking Terrible, and suddenly I wouldn’t be so mad at my coochie. She has her reasons.

I...like Shinsou for a lot of reasons, but a really big one, for sure, is that I feel like he can communicate about the important stuff. He likes to tease, but he knows when to be serious too. I’m really wack about being close and intimate with people and I have, hhh, special requirements to be able to sleep with them, and I feel like he’d both be able to respect AND honor that. Like, run through the rest of the BNHA boys with me here: would Bakugou be able to be completely cool, calm, and collected while still teasing, but knowing where to draw the line? Todoroki’s closer maybe, but he’s not as people-smart (which is also a big thing for me). Confidence (or at least the appearance of it when it’s important), respect, communication, listening and respecting what I ask for even if it seems wack -- Shinsou has that, and god is it attractive. 

Also, mind control. 

Also, his capture weapon. 

Also you know this motherfucker is kinky as shit. Thank the good lord.

Also, sexy-slow makeouts with his long, nimble hands running up my outer thighs to squeeze my waist -- teeth on neck, stolen gasps of breath -- 

\\\\\\

I feel bad because all of this, fuckin, WALL of text is pretty much ‘this is what purble boy can do for me’ and I don’t say a lot I’d do for him, but if I got someone like him I’d go to the end of the earth for them. I may be a perpetually-sleepy bitch, but one of my best -- and worst -- character traits is my unwavering loyalty. I’ll be 110% down to kick anyone’s ass who insults him: he can fight his own battles, but he shouldn’t have to over some dumbass with a big mouth and a little brain. Making him smile and laugh, oof, be still my beating heart. Words of encouragement when life gets too much. Genuine thanks for his help, whatever it may be. Hugs, because we’re both touch-starved as fuck and he deserves gentleness, dammit. He doesn’t seem like his love language is receiving gifts -- more like quality time and words of affirmation? Maybe physical touch? -- but I’d still get him little things that made me think of him, that could help him in his day to day life or maybe just bring a smile to his face. We could rescue each other at social conventions, have dates to the humane society and play with cats. Support each other through our depression days, prove that even having a brain that’s mean to you sometimes doesn’t make you unlovable. Man, idk. The whole thing’s soft and makes my heart go doki-doki. Hitoshi Shinsou is an extremely good person and god damn I’d want to show him I appreciated him and existing at the same time as him. He deserves love and kindness. He deserves someone to kiss every knuckle of his hand. He deserves hugs in the kitchen and blankets being pulled over his shoulders when he falls asleep at the desk. He deserves only good things, and I’d be honored to give them to him. 

HHHHH.

Okay! If you made it to the end of this, congratulations! You don’t actually get anything, but boy oh boy you have a lot of information about ME now! Aren’t you delighted? Heh. So! You tag people for this stuff, and I’m gonna tag @lord-explosion-baku​, @bnhascribbles​, @perpetual-bed-head​, @russianonion​, @weebsinstash​, and last but certainly not least, @usernamekate94​. Tell me about Monoma, Kate. Tell me.

[polygamyff]

30. Part 7

I am so obsessed with Robyn, like I don’t think this is normal at all with how I just want her to be with me all day every day “you feel good though? How do you feel that you have bought in the New Year, with Robyn, with a daughter and then this new hotel” Shawn asked, Shawn has not left my side, I think he feels as if I will do something because people are annoying me, and I would honestly like to beat their asses, I need to be calm though for everybody because then I am just going to upset my dad and the night will end terrible. Robyn has done nothing but dance and be happy, I like it. I am retiring slowly and want to go bed, but I am sat here just watching her “it feels good to be me for once, you remember how I always told you it sucks to be me, how lonely I felt and I had nothing. I am happy” Shawn raised a glass to me “to new beginnings my brother” raising my glass and our glasses clinked together “I agree” downing the contents “you boys having fun” looking up at Kellen “you had fun videoing Robyn?” I retorted “it wasn’t like that, I was videoing the scenery and she was in it. I think you have made your point, but I have my own new start. I am going to be a father” I sniggered “thought y’all hated each other, does she know you fucked my wife too? I get it she is here for the money, she would never leave” placing my glass on the table “and Robyn ain’t?” sitting back while folding my arms “if I cheated on Robyn I know she would leave me and never look back, Tiffany came back to you. That is a gold digger bro!” I spat getting up from the chair “now what huh? Huh! Come on!” I spat getting in his face “I won’t touch you but I got something coming for that ass, release pictures of Robyn and you will see” hitting his shoulder as I walked by him, I won’t fight him again. Not at another party, I won’t do it because then it will be reminded that my hotel opening ended up in a brawl, not happening on my watch.

Wrapping my arm around Robyn’ neck and pressing a kiss to her cheek “baby” Robyn reached her hand behind and touched my face “let’s go, I have been here long enough now” I said in her ear “but everyone is still here Maurice” she has been drinking, I know she has been “but I want to have sex with you, it’s been so long” Robyn rested her hand back on my chest, I love that her hair is up in a bun so I can easily attack her neck. Licking her ear lobe “imagine my fingers-” I stopped and moved back ever so quickly, my mom is still here “ain’t it your bedtime?” I said in annoyance, Robyn stepped back in shock “I want to meet her, please. Introduce us” oh shit, my dad is here too “it’s been a long day, maybe another day” my dad gave me a look and I knew what that meant, get on with it. My mom must have really drove my dad crazy with this “uh, yeah ok” turning to Robyn “so Robyn, this is my beautiful mother Joy. And mom this is Robyn and erm that is my dad Marquis” I felt like I shyed away from that “he is such a daddys boy my son, I finally get to meet you. Properly, I am Joy” my dad walked over to me “daddys boy?” he repeated to me “I don’t believe that” waving him off, my mother hugged Robyn “you are so beautiful, thank you for making my son happy. Coming into our lives” she is so emotional “stop being so emotional mom” I chuckled, Robyn looks a little out of her depth “you know me son” my dad just stepped forward and got his hand out to Robyn “you are very much like Maurice” Robyn said to him “he loves a good handshake” Robyn actually shook his head, it’s made me a little emotional to see “Joy, let’s leave them now. You met her” my dad is wanting to leave “please, we meet soon” my dad is escorting her away, it’s funny to see “your mom is so young, I do find it weird” Robyn said “she is, what can I say, my dad liked them young” I shrugged.

I am so damn happy to be leaving the event, I want to spend some time with Robyn alone. Just Robyn and I “I am so glad to be leaving this thing, I mean it was nice but I prefer to be alone with you. Let them party” turning to Robyn “I still can’t believe you look like this, like you look amazing. I do not deserve you at all. And your make up is still so perfect, it hasn’t moved an inch” Robyn giggled looking away from me “I love you so much Bonita” pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead “I love you too, do you have the keycard” she winked at me “I have a keycard to every fucking room” letting her hand go as I dug into the inside pocket of my suit, grabbing the card “this can go to any flooring of the place. Any access, I just need to key in the floor number” Robyn walked into me as she hugged me, pressing a kiss to her lips “I can’t wait to fuck you” Robyn snatched the card from me “I deserve it, I mean it is Reign’ hotel” Robyn walked off towards the elevator “you dropped something, just there” I pointed at the marble flooring, Robyn looked to the side of her and giggled as she dropped the keycard “I think I did” I tilted my head a little as she slowly leaned forward to pick up the card “Quiero comer tu coño y quiero tus piernas alrededor de mi cuello” Robyn moaned out, making my way towards her as I gripped her hips and humped her “stop! Stop it” pulling her into me “let’s go now” my arms still wrapped around her body as we both walked towards the elevator, navigating my hand towards the gap I can see in the Tuxedo jack she is wearing “oohhh Mr Davenport, what will the people think” biting my bottom lip as I placed my hand over her breast “who the hell cares, this elevator seems so damn far away” Robyn laughed “did you drink a lot?” she seems tipsy “I am going to ride your husbands dick, you know him!” Robyn pointed at me, looking over to where Robyn is looking. I swear I am looking like a deer caught in headlights, Noami is stood staring at us while my hand is on my Robyn’ breast “I am going to ride his dick, and get pregnant again. Right in my daughter’ hotel, you see what you can have” placing my hand over Robyn’ mouth with my free hand, let me remove my hand from her breast “stop it” Robyn near fell forward but I caught her “we here” pressing the elevator button “just stand here” turning her around and let her rest against the wall “I don’t want nobody seeing this” pulling her Tuxedo jacket closed “you ruined my tit tape” Robyn giggled “ is that why it won’t close?” it keeps popping open a little more than usual “you right” Robyn poked her lips out touching my shirt “are you tipsy?” she nodded her head “a little” she said in a whisper “oh look at that, my ex best fucking friend. The bitches assemble don’t they, you was supposed to be my friend” looking behind me “you’re a mess, fuck off” Tiffany said “Maurice, I don’t want her in this hotel. Get rid of her, I don’t want her to sleep in this hotel” I am glad that elevator doors open “I will, come on” helping her walk into the elevator.

Patting my suit jacket “oh you got-” turning to Robyn “keycard” I finished off seeing Robyn with the card between lips “what are you doing?” I laughed, reaching over and taking the card from Robyn’ lips “lipstick” looking down at it, she is real kinky right now “are you going to carry me?” placing the keycard in the slot “would you like me to carry you?” tapping in the floor number “mhmmm, I want to strip naked” resting back against the wall of the elevator “and we are nearly there are we not, me and you can spend some time together” holding my hand out to her “but you are getting rid of her right? She is trash” Robyn placed her hand in mine as I pulled her into me “I will sort it out for you” I will sat say yes just to make her not speak on it “I have missed you so much in my bed, now you won’t leave again” I had to laugh “I never left, you ditched me” removing the keycard before I forget it “I am sorry” she apologised resting her hand against my chest “it’s ok, we both fell out with each other, we both did wrong. I love you” we both did bad “we nearly here now” moving away from the wall “come” picking her up “what a view!” I spat laughing, I can see her boob from this position “you suck on them if you can reach” I chuckled, the elevator doors opened “you like the room? All for you” walking out of the elevator “all for me, just like your dick is” Robyn is something else drunk “is my daughter drunk?” I stopped abruptly seeing Terry on the couch, she turned to face us “uh, yeah” why is she even awake.

Reaching over and pulling Robyn jacket closed “sorry Terry, I didn’t really see how much she drank. She was honestly having so much fun with Ariana Grande and then I didn’t notice, but has Reign been playing up?” Robyn is a mess “let’s go to bed” Robyn placing her leg on my lap “she just woke up for a feed, and I was about to go to sleep but I heard you both come in. I just wanted to say how beautiful the hotel is, to see my granddaughter and daughter’ initials on the flooring, I must say it shows how much you love my daughter” she sighed out “I just see the look in your eye when you see her, you love her so damn much Maurice. I am sorry about my husband too, he is really temperamental about his only daughter” shaking my head lightly “Terry I can’t have this, my life is in the public. With Thomas saying these words, it hurts me. And for him to speak on my illness, I am very angry with him and I don’t know what you would like to do but I don’t want him on my jet” Terry nodded her head “I understand Maurice” Robyn held my hand “you two both go to sleep, you have both had a long night. I will put Reign with me” Robyn ain’t going to leave it, she want to go “thank you Terry, thank you for taking care of Reign” moving Robyn’ leg from my lap “be good the both of you” Terry said, I laughed as I grabbed Robyn to get up “mom, your talk is so boring!” Robyn whined “yeah, yeah. Leave her alone” picking Robyn up and placing her over my shoulder “so rough, mhmmmm I like” poor Terry having to hear this.

My fingers tracing back and forth against her clit “No he visto tu coño en mucho tiempo, la sensación” Robyn bit her bottom lip “the Spanish gets me so wet!” she said so loudly, her juces dripping down my hand. She leans back into me and I grab her breast with my free hand and squeeze it before pulling her nipple into my mouth. Robyn bucked her hips forward and I placed two fingers at her entrance. I am teasing her, I love to tease her but Robyn is not in the mood to be teased, she threw her hips forward and slid down on my fingers, slowly riding them at first. I slipped a third finger inside of her and moved away from her breast to capture her lips with a wet kiss. I nibbled and sucked down on her tongue, the fresh taste of alcohol still lingering there. I removed my sticky fingers from between her legs and laid Robyn on her back. She gripped my dick and glided her finger across my sensitive skin. My favourite position with Robyn is definitely hitting it from the back. I love the way she arches her back and opens up her pussy up to me. I could stroke in as deep as I want to and receive the utmost pleasure, especially when I pin her down and thrust in as hard as I can. I have total control from behind and it is divine, but tonight I want to look into her eyes. I wanted to see all of the emotions and desirable looks painted on her face when I first enter her.

I grabbed my dick from Robyn’ hand and stroked my length. She's laying in front of me with her legs open wide, smiling seductively. Her hands move down to her centre and she plays with her clit. Putting on a show for me. I stroked my length a little harder and watched as she pushed her finger inside of her, she adds another finger then another and soon she's rocking her hips, crying out soft moans of pleasure. Her fingers moving back and forth, pulling out then disappearing deep inside of her sex which is a sweet reminder of what's to come. Robyn removes her hand and drags her fingers up her body leaving a trail of her sweetness along the length of her stomach, popping her fingers into her mouth, she uses her other hand to grab my wrist and pull me towards her. I stick out my tongue and lick up the trail she left behind until I reach her collarbone “Mi Amor, Bonita” I whispered and took the tip of my length, aligning it at her opening. Her warmth is calling me and my dick is getting harder by the second.

Robyn wraps her hands around my neck, her fingertips massaging at the back of my head. Her breath hitches when I slide in, her muscles clenching around me while a shiver runs down her spine. She so tight around me, I froze, afraid to move at first, it feels entirely too good. My hands mould around her skin and I finally plunged into her, I start off slow but quickly sped things up with one hard stroke after another “Fuccckkk me!” She's grinding her hips and moving almost as fast as I am. I pull back and slam down into her, Robyn arches her back and digs her nails into my skin, biting my neck as she did so. I lift her leg up and pushed it further back, slamming into her once more. I growled loudly and steadied my movements, slowing down. This position was no longer cutting it for me, my leg was beginning to cramp up.

Robyn pushed me onto my back and climbed on top of me, I grabbed her hips and guided her up and down on my length. Her hands felt griping my shoulders. Her body is shaking and she's whining her hips fast and hard, Robyn’ head falls back “oh fuck!” Robyn spat, just to see Robyn naked and on top of me is the best thing to end this night. She leans in for a kiss, I grab her face and hold her tightly to my chest. Grabbing her ass and thrusting up into her, Robyn’ grunts and moans filled my ear. She bites my shoulder when one of my hands fall between her thighs from behind. Catching her by surprise, I flip us over and pushes her down into the mattress. My legs together and straight and is sitting up on my arms, swiftly hammering into her at a rapid pace “oohh!” Robyn moans out loudly “ah! Fuck, I love….” she couldn’t finish off her words which only urged me on more, Robyn is so damn loud but I feel my body spasm “oh fuck” I said to myself, slowing my speed down as I emptied myself into Robyn. I have waited on this for so long, to be inside Robyn and I just want it to last forever “I fucking love you so much” I breathed out.

[shenanigans-academia]

Summer Training Camp Arc/ Rescue Bakugo/ The End of All Might

Episode 39: Game Start

•the fact that Denki and Mineta physically went to Mido’s house to invite him to the pool is actually kinda cute. Too bad they have creepy intentions

•Momo:”Aw I was supposed to spend several weeks traveling Venice with my parents”

Uraraka: “WHAT is YoUr LiFE??” I feel you girl

•Mineta/Denki:”TheRe’S BoObS At tHe End Of ThiS TuNnEL”

Iida-Absolute Unit-Tenya:”HELLO FELLOW CLASSMATES”

•Iida is built like a fucking TANK what the heck but why the fuck are you walking like that Iida lmao

•Iida talking about how far he and Izuku have come as friends, I’m soft

•Kiri refusing to come without Bakubabe convincing Bakugo to join then looking so defeated when he immediately starts picking a fight I can’t with these two

•”friendly competition between classmates” cuts to Bakugou looking possessed before saying “I’m going to annihilate you Deku/ Icy Hot Bastard” bruh do you have an off switch or at least take it down like 20 notches you’re exhausting

•”YOU DIDNT EVEN TOUCH THE WATER”

“ITS CALLED FREE STYLE SWIMMING”

•Lmao the whole class is cheating

•I love how it just cut to a dramatic montage of TodoDeku moments while Sho can’t take his eyes off Mido WHY THEY ALL SO INTENSE FOR YOURE 15 HANGING OUT AT A POOL DURING THE SUMMER WHY ARE YOU GUYS ALWAYS ON

•Mido/Todo/Iida all just staring at each other intensely having their own inner montages. Literally anybody watching them “...are they okay?”

•Aizawa you party pooper

•I’m sorry but Kirishima is so in love and no one can tell me other wise no I do not take constructive criticism

•Okay that end montage is so fucking pure I’m. So. Soft

Episode 40: Wild, Wild Pussycats

•Kirishima “can’t keep my hands to myself/off Bakugo Katsuki” Eijirou

•Class 1B to anybody they meet: “we’re sorry about Monoma”

•Aizawa loves his class can’t you tell

•”Long time no see” Aizawa’s a cutie

•Lmao KOTA the first of Mido’s adopted kids

•These poor fucking kids can’t catch a fucking BREAK

•Koda tried and I love him

•Kiri’s heart eyes are so LOUD

•I love when they all work together

•”YOURE IN MY WAY ICY HOT”

“Then pick another route” Todoroki doesn’t have time for your tantrums Kacchan

•These poor kids

•Kota went for the KO

•”YOU FIEND OF A CHILD. GEEZ KID HOW OLD ARE YOU”

•”Brats got spunk”

“He’s like a mini version of you “

He’s right and should say it

•Mineta needs a muzzle

•The boys are all like we’re just as curious to see the girls but Mineta needs to calm down 300%

•Kota to the rescue!

•IIDA GOT A FACEFUL OF MiNETA ASS HE DIDNT DESERVE THAT AGSFJSHHSJXG

•Mina almost killed a child with her boobs I’m dead and so is Kota

•I’m sorry but it’s both funny and weird that Midoriya is just naked while being told this child’s tragic backstory

•Aizawa you are actively trying to kill your students aren’t you just admit it

Episode 41: Kota

•Testutestu is such a good boy

•Good training idea according to UA Teachers: Break yourselves or else you’re weak. Just fucking die then you can be heroes

•Tiger is amazing “I’m here to beat you guys to a pulp”

“I have some questions about him...” ME TOO RANDOM CLASS 1B STUDENT BUT I LOVE HIM

•Iida tries so hard

•Momo explains how her quirk works: smart and precise description

Sero Fucking Hanta: “like how poop works” BRUH

•This kid is literally just a mini Kacchan

•I’m sorry but Mido why would you ask a small child who you’re trying to befriend about their murdered parents like what part in your mind made you think that was a good idea

•Mina And Bakugo sleep the same way, starfish style, I love them. But who the FUCK is sleeping under a bunch of pillows off their mattress on the straight floor with their butt in the air (I bet money it’s Kaminari)

•everyone complaining about training in the dark:

Tokoyami: ”Revelry in the Dark”

•Kirishima’s too tired to deal with his angry boyfriend

•Todoroki trying to help Midoriya with Kota “be careful what you say, you can be really annoying” he’s trying

•Tokoyami constantly whispering “Revelry in the Dark” to himself is the FUNNIEST thing to me I love you, you emo punk

•It Dabi Time

Episode 42: My Hero

•these poor fucking kids I swear

•”we want our treat Mr. Aizawa”

“Do you want me to tighten your bindings?”

Oooh Kinky Bad Aizawa akshdhbekal

•MONOMA SHUT UP

•Spinner is a long lost Ninja Turtle Brother change my mind

•”DIDNT ANYBODY TELL YOU ITS NOT A HEROES JOB TO BE HAPPY” clearly

•I respect Testutestu so much

•This muscley villain is Bakugo’s real dad and nobody can tell me other wise

•Okay that fucking Bondage villain is genuinely terrifying

•KOTA BABY STAY BACK P L E A S E

•it’s been X amount of days since breaking my bones- erases whatever number was there and puts a fat zero MIDORIYA YOU WERE DOING SO WELL but for this we will make an exception I guess

•oh my fucKING GOD KOTA JUST R U N

•Mido really thought he was gonna die holy FUCK

•”One For All One Million Percent” MIDORIYA YOU CANT EVEN HANDLE 5% BABY BOY WHAT IS YOU DOIN

Episode 43: Drive It Home, Iron Fist

•Shiggy thinking in Video Games format is honestly so on brand

•Mido is FUCKED UP right now poor boy

•”We’re in big trouble” YEAH NO SHIT ERASURE

•BAMF Aizawa is my reason for living

•Okay I forgot how much I love Twice

•Aizawa seeing Izuku’s broken bones: ”AGAIN???”

•Kota’s precious and I LOVE DADZAWA

•KIRI’S SO UPSET THAT THAT THE VILLAINS ARE HERE FOR BAKUGO IM SOBBING

•”Teachers changing their minds about fighting, why do I feel like this is Deku’s fault” BAKUGO SHUT UP YOU HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT RIGHT NOW YOU DICKHEAD

•TESTUTESTU IS SUCH A GOOD BOY

•DUDE BROUGHT A FUCKING GUN TO A CAMP I FORGOT ABOUT THAT HOLY SHIIIITTT

•CLASS 1B MVPS KENDO AND TESTU MOTHERFUCKING TESTU

•Midoriyas doing a Naruto run because his arms are fucking broken I’m crying

•Tokoyami, Dark Shadow And Shouji IM READY

Episode 44: Roaring Upheaval

•Tokoyami tries so hard to be good I love him

•WE! DESERVE! SO! MUCH! MORE! SHOUJI!

•Yami is so emo And is just such a Good Boi AH

•Scared Bakugo is Baby

•Honestly they’re all Baby

•Toga:”I love messed up bleeding people”

Mido: shows up completely broken

Toga:”Mr. Stainy who? I want that one”

•Aoyama would be the kid who gets caught in hide and seek because they think they have a great spot and can’t be seen and try to peek them convince themselves still nobody saw them in plain sight

•Awase was fully prepared to die protecting Momo I’m CRYING he’s my new favorite

•Battle Plan Mastermind Mido is amazing

•Also poor unconscious kid just being dragged behind Uraraka haha

Episode 45: Shat A Twist!

•Kiri: “I cant let them take my boyfriend” poor boy just wants to help so bad

•Whelp nobody is safe

•LMAO Aizawa just stomping on Fake Dabi has me dying

•Shouto how long has it been since you last saw your brother...?

•Shouji SMACK A BITCH Mezo

•I LOVE SHOUJI

•Compress you freak get those kids out of your mouth ya nasty

•AOYAMA YES

•Dabi stop being a dick to your little brother I’m gonna tell Rei

•Kirishima is so upset AND IM UPSET MY BABIES

•These kids just wanted a fun week at camp LEAVE THEM ALONE THEYRE 15

•...Mic...is the traitor...

•I love how everybody hates All Might’s ringtone lmao

•All Might’s like only Us teachers are allowed to beat our kids to a pulp in order to better them as heroes y’all are just mean

•I know Mitsuki has just a bad a temper as her son but how do you think she reacted finding out her child was the kidnap victim of a villain attack? No matter what you think of her as a parent, that’s still her kid and she must have been devastated. But just like Katsuki she would never admit it to his face

•Precious Boy Denki And Class 1A coming to visit their hurt friends I love this class so much

•”I brought a present! I mean it’s from everyone. It’s a melon!” Okay that was pretty cute

•Kirishima being like “why is everyone crying we’re going to go get him let’s go gays time to get our Gremlin back”

•Kiri:”he’s still within your reach Midoriya!”

Mido:”...my arms are BUSTED my dude nothing is in my reach right now I’m still gonna come tho”

Episode 46: From Iida to Midoriya

•Kirishima is THE Best Boi I love him so fucking much I would die for him

•Iida’s trying his best not to blow a gasket

•”Hysterical Strength” yeah sounds like Deku

•”Go home and take it easy” lmao have you met this kid?

•Kota is so freaking sweet

•Izuku. Go see your mother

•Iida’s got some good points. I’m including that punch to Midoriya

•Bakugo must be so tired of being tied up and restrained you know he doesn’t have bondage kink later on in life just hits too close to trauma

•Kiri’s constant state of mind: WWBD (WHAT Would Bakugo Do)

•Mido: Stealth Mode=Wakanda Forever

•Iida has the best costume this is not up for debate. I also always forget he has an undercut, we Stan an icon

•”So the rich girl just wants to go shopping” I’m crying

•Clean Shaven/Neat Hair Aizawa? Hell to the fucking Yes Please

•I’m genuinely proud of Bakugo and the fact that he knows that he’s intense and scares a lot of people/ how he comes across is aggressive and almost villain like, he adamantly doesn’t want to be a villain even if everyone just assumes he would be. He wants to be a hero. Whatever it takes

Episode 47: All For One

•Rightful shoutout to Kendo and Testu

•”We are offering mental health counseling to every single student but right now we do not see signs of any serious psychological trauma” Nezu I’m sorry but those kids are officially fucked up for life you can’t be serious

•”what if they’re brainwashing young Bakugo right now towards the path of villainy” leave Bakugo ALONE

•Aizawa is like you come for my angry son I come for your throat try me again bitch

•FERAL GREMLIN BOY FIGHT OR FIGHT MODE ACTIVATED Bakugo has no flight mode only fight

•Mido: Incoherent mumbling

Momo:“this is peak Midoriya” I love how they’re just used to him now

•the boys are just like you’re not touching our friend you drunk creeps

•Kirishima came PREPARED to get his boy back I love him

•Bakugo just take the help you prideful little shit

•Okay Edgeshot is great where has he been all this time

•Annndddd it all went to shit so fast

•oh my god Best Jeanist is fuckin dead

Episode 48: Symbol of Peace

•”You won’t escape Shigaraki” umm so how’d that work out for ya All Might?

•Kamui Woods “IM SO SORRY” poor boy

•Talking to Best Jeanist:”consider me...pressed” All For One got jokes huh

•...yeah no BJ REALLY Fuckin Ded

•These kids are so fucking traumatized

•A WILD BAKUGOU APPEARS

•Twice has big Deadpool energy tbh

•Lmao Iida has had enough

•Mom and Dad of group award goes to Iida and Momo

•All For One: asks Kurogiri to help warp the League

Also All For One: Stabs him while doing it

•”I don’t think so. Because... I Am Here!” All For One really said Fuck All Might

•All these kids think in Video Game Lmao

•I know there’s a lot of commotion happening but I definitely feel like the villains would be able to hear them talking

•Midoriya went to Kirishima like time to get your asshole boyfriend back you lovesick fool

•”YOU IDIOTS” you’re smiling because your friends are here you jerk

•Everyone’s so intense then Kiri-fucking-shima is there smiling like an idiot because BAKUGO’S BACK

•ALL MIGHT ALL MIGHT ALL MIGHT ALL MIGHT

•...I always forget Shiggy’s familial lineage and it’ makes me sad every time

•I love this episode so MUCH

Episode 49: One For All

•YOUNG MIGHT

•Nana Shimura looks just like Momo...Todoroki Secret Lovechild Theories Intensifies

•”YOU GUYS DIDN’T RESCUE ME YOU WERE MY BEST ESCAPE ROUTE”

“You’re welcome!”

Oh Bakugo just say thank you

•...soooo many people died in Camino Ward, man...

•Aizawa looks so young

•ALL THE KIDS WATCHING THEIR TEACHER AND HERO GET BEATEN TO A PULP HORRIFYINGLY IM SO UPSET

•All For One really just pulled an “I am your father” move but with Shiggy and Nana that’s messed up

•THE PEOPLE RALLYING BEHIND ALL MIGHT IM SOBBING YALL

•NOW IS NOT THE TIME ENDEAVOR

•THERE WE GO THATS BETTER

•Everyone loves All Might I’m so soft

•I’m genuinely crying guys

•...can everyone hear All For One talking about Midoriya oorrrrr???

•All Might you’re pulling a Deku pleaSE STOP

•United States of Smash I cant

•Kirishima really tried holding Bakugo’s hand YALL

•...Bakugo knows

•I love this episode too I’m so upset

Episode 50: End of the Beginning, Beginning of the End

•Gran Torino explaining why they didn’t know about Shimura’s family/Shigaraki is. Sad

•Bakugo is traumatized someone please help him

•Endeavor and Bakugo are the same person and I hate it

•Midoriya and All Might running to each other on the beach is big Marty and Alex from Madagascar energy I’m cackling

•PROUD DADMIGHT MAKES ME SOFT YOU’RE BOTH CRYING AND I AM S O F T

• PARENT TIME YES

•Jirou’s parents are so cool, Kyoka’s so cool THE JIROUS ARE SO COOL

•Oh my god the Bakugos are so CHAOTIC

•It all makes so much sense why he is the way he is and it’s all. Too much. Poor Katsuki

•He’s so. Tired. You can tell. I just want to give him a hug

•”Be CoOl MoM” Izu you’re just as tense and you’ve been with All Might for literally HOW LONG???

•Mama Midoriya is. Right. But that sucks for Izuku

•This is. So. Emotional

Last part of Season 3 is next. DORM LIFE BABY just a little less angst thank god these kids need a break

[smittenwithlouis]

Best of the 🦇 Fic

Aka Waiting On You by @lads-laddylads​

This is easily one of my favorite fics so I’ve compiled some of my favorite quotes, lines, and moments from this masterpiece. Enjoy!

⚰️ [Spoiler Warning!] 💉 

“You’re feisty for someone so small” [Definition of Louis Tomlinson right here ijs :/]

Harry bites the way he talks, and walks, and kisses, with an intensity that’s somehow on the right side of too much, overwhelming without being overbearing. [ Gentle 🦇 lover Harry tho...need I say more?]

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡WALL SEX!!!!!!!!!!

“What if he saw you up against the wall and taking my cock like this, this desperate for it after you tried so hard to pretend you weren’t interested?” [Lmao gentle lover but then he a nasty™ exhibitionist kinky bastard...excuse me but like...sign me tf up :/ also Niall would be out there pulling a Regina George’s Mom move with a video camera. Lets be real...aslo me as Niall]

"Please, c’mon, bite me again,”....“Baby, I don’t need more—” Harry begins .....”No, I need it, please, Harry, just—” Louis says, and when he sees Harry’s fangs descend, he feels like he could cry with relief [Honestly this scene killed me bc like LMAO he’s gagging to be bitten like...let that sink in for a sec and then you have 🦇 Harry like no no baby I’m good like u don’t gotta but Louis is like BINCH this for my pleasure not u tf...Iconic]

Louis turns around, he sees his clothing from the club last night in a neatly folded pile on the floor [Harry deadass fucking folded Louis’ clothes before he left. Like why is this such a Harry thing to do?When will your one night stand EVER, Lmao I HATE]

They may start humping each other with the next few minutes, and Louis wants to tell them to leave room for Jesus [Louis is such a little binch...why didn’t he leave room for J when he was dry humping Harry at the club?...smh]

“You’re all so fucking full of yourselves and it disgusts me.”....“You were so fucking full of me last week and you didn’t seem disgusted by that” [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LMAOOOOO. Honestly. I’m here for Harry calling out Louis in all his bs. This was iconic]

“Because people get off on being bitten? It’s like...a sexual thing...“Mmmm, no, that’s pretty much just you” [Imagine being that deep in denial or having no once of self awareness. Like kinda felt bad that he didn’t realize his own damn kink but LMAO now all his friends know he gets off on being bitten. Oh Louis hahahaha. Also, Harry being all smug about it. BYE]

Louis gently burrows his feet under Harry’s thigh. It keeps his toes warm [This was just so cute and super relatable cause I literally do the same thing rip]

A young vampire who looks like he’d rather be actually dead than undead and working at Panera [This line LMAO. Idk if many people appreciate this type of humor but I do. I giggled so much]

“I’m a cop and I could report this restaurant for at least three health code violations” [Hahaha he’s so endearing and so aggravating at the same time. But its so cute how he does shit like this and you know on the surface it pisses Louis off but in reality he’s so endeared by it. I’m here for Harry cheating to get what he wants tbh]

“Up we go” Harry says [STOP this was so cute! Literally all I pictured was that gif of that bodyguard picking Louis up like he weighed nothing :’) my smol son...bless him]

“Vampires don’t even fucking sweat” Louis mutters to himself angrily [Okay but how iconic was this scene? Harry is such a damn tease. Louis had been fantasizing about H covered in oil and as if H KNEW he was like I don’t got oil but this water will do...like LMAO. So Louis being sexually frustrated and grumpy like a kitten with a “🦇s don’t sweat” was just so funny lol]

“Are we — are we gonna have sex now?” Louis asks when Harry lays him down.Harry laughs, and that seems rude. Louis and Harry have had sex before, so why not have it again? Louis is in his bed, after all, so he doesn’t understand why Harry is trying to play hard to get. Why else would Louis be in his bed?Louis feels his eyes slipping closed, but he’s going to ask these questions because he wants answers.“Just go to sleep, baby,” Harry says softly, and no. No, Louis isn’t going to do that [The damn nerve Louis has to say Harry is the one playing hard to get BOI lol. But like this scene is so endearing. Like, Harry just saved his ass and Louis is so damn drunk and HARRY CALLED HIM BABY. Ugh its disgustingly sweet. I love it :’)]

“Smaller than I remember,” Louis says, swallowing hard. Harry’s smirk only widens [I’m that gif of that dude looking into the camera like I’m in the office. Like, Louis trying to pretend like Harry doesn’t have a monster**** and didn’t get fucked for an inch of his life is so fucking petty and hilariously embarrassing lol]

“So, I was thinking that we should have sex,” Louis says suddenly, and Harry chokes on his drink [This was so abrupt and just lololol he was so done with being sexually frustrated this was also when I screamed FINALLY BINCH]

¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡HANDCUFF SEX!!!!!!!!!!

“I want to watch the Vampire Diaries,” Louis decides finally [need I say more lmaooo]

He reaches for Harry. Harry opens his arms to Louis immediately, burying his face into Louis’ neck, and Louis shivers slightly, rubbing at Harry’s back [this was such a small and tender moment. It was just so cute since up to this point they had rarely been really affectionate like this it just made me feel all asdfghjkl...also tho I felt bad for Niel]

Louis can’t help but scoot closer to him, wrapping his arms around Harry’s torso and clinging to him like a koala bear [this was just cute okay???]

Finally, Harry huffs out a sigh and leans in, giving Louis a kiss on his cheekbone [I live for small little moments like this FUCK ME UP with emotions and feelings rip]

"I have Steve talking about pterodactyl porn, I have Niall speculating about whether it’s legal to marry ducks in the District of Colombia" [shit like this makes me side eye writers tbh like...now I know u’ve seen or talked about some weird shit. Like, Emma how did u even come up with this??? How much pterodactyl porn have u watched? like...I’m not judging u or nuffin but lowkey I’m like how much of a freak is she? Ya feel me? Get back to me on this lmao I need explanations....]

Harry’s shirt is riding up slightly, exposing the trail of hair that leads into Harry’s boxers, and there’s a small bit of a drool pooling on Harry’s skin. Oops [Excuse me but like this is so cute? Louis droolin on Harry...as gross asit may be like...how endearing tho? Again little shit like this is what makes me adore fics so much. Bless]

“Why aren’t you into me?” The words burst out of Louis suddenly, and that definitely wasn’t what he meant to say [This made me feel so asdfghjkl for Louis cause like I felt bad but also it was his fault in the first place but again with him bursting out with his feelings is so cute]

“I was waiting on you,” Harry says simply, and Louis’ heart skips a beat [I SCREAMED SO LOUD LIKE YALL HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE WHEN AUTHORS PUT THE TITLE IN THEIR STORY OR LIKE THE TITLE COMES FROMA LINE IN THE STORY. BLESS UP]

“I can’t believe you thought I didn’t want you,” Harry says, pulling away just enough to speak. “Do you think I handcuff all of my friends and let them ride me on the sofa?” His eyes are sparkling [Honestly Louis...like wyd boi]

Louis can tell that even in the throes of pleasure, Harry’s first concern is making sure Louis doesn’t get hurt [Gentle 🦇 lover Harry at it again]

Harry bites into Louis’ left ass cheek with his fangs, and Louis cries out loudly enough that he’d be concerned for Harry’s neighbors if he cared about anything other than this right now [How much nastier™ can this get tho? BYE]

Harry reaches his finger down Louis’ crack, teasing gently, but he can’t quite reach where he wants to touch. He makes a frustrated noise and hitches Louis’ leg up, forcing Louis to wrap his arms around Harry’s neck until he’s up against the wall yet again [Y’ALL MOTHERFUCKERS OUT IN PUBLIC LIKE WYD??? LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!! So, Harry loves to have Louis pinned to walls and lives for the exhibitionism...me as H tbh]

“I didn’t even hear the goddamn door open,” Louis mutters. “But what’s your excuse? You have super hearing!” [He was to busy fingering u in the bathroom hallway NOT EVEN IN THE BATHROOM but the damn hallway!! :/ Also, did he even wash his hands afterwards? Harry over there talking about health code violations to the wanting to be dead, undead Panera boy but he over here fingering Louis’ ass and not even washin his hands afterwards...ya nasty]

Harry goes full on drama with it and dips Louis right there in the middle of the restaurant [Louis as if ur life doesn’t revolve around drama...sit yo big ass down istg...also this was extra af but cute af so like I’m here for this]

He wraps his larger pinky around Louis’ smaller one as he speaks, and Louis gives him a small smile and nods [THIS IS LOWKEY SUBLIMINAL ADVERTISING FOR PNL. YOU AIN’T SLICK BINCH. I SEE U. Anyways, y’all can read Pinkies Never Lie HERE. Good shit. Good shit...lots of hot sex especially H wearing his rings fingering Louis scene...ijs. This scene was cute too btw]

It was raining that day, and in Louis’ mind’s eye, every rain droplet that hit the car window was there to cleanse him of everything that he had been with Luke [Literally look can CHOKE but I liked this sentence quite a lot]

“And in the last ten minutes, I’ve revised my opinion on your intelligence quite a bit, so for it to go even lower is saying something" [Listen, Nick being involved was quite a shock I will admit...but also he was literally so dumb af in this scene and I love that Harry told him so lololol]

“Louis,” Harry says, and Louis forces his eyes open again. “I love you. I love you so much.” “I love you too,” Louis says, voice quiet and raspy from the damage done to his neck. “Yeah?” Harry says, smiling as he wipes some blood from the corner of Louis’ mouth. “Don’t get cocky about it,” Louis says. His vision is spotty and Harry’s voice sounds very far away. Harry laughs, eyes still wet with tears. “You hadn’t said. Before.” “I was waiting on you,” Louis says, a small smile on his face, echoing what Harry had once said to him [This fucking scene ripped my heart out like wtf SO ASDFGHJKL!!!!!!!!!!!! Like this would be the time they said I love you. I HATE but like I love all at once??? and Like this time Louis was waiting on Harry and IM A MESS FUCC U EMMA U SUCC!!!]

Louis can feel Harry’s fingers tracing a three on his good wrist, and he realizes suddenly that he’s not drawing a three, that he was never drawing a three. He’s drawing a heart [THIS. JFC. Honestly Emma you’re such a sapp...this was so fucking cute and fluffy and asdfghjkl FUCC U]

“But don’t pull a stunt like that ever again,” James says, smiling ear to ear. “I don’t need my lead detective to be the first vampire to die of a heart attack in the history of vampirism” [Lmao me as James...honestly the way Louis attracts trouble...Harry would get a damn heart attack lol]

“Why does everyone always think that arguing is our version of a mating ritual" [Is this binch forreal??? Cause it literally was...they’re bickering and arguing was all foreplay tbh. LOLOLOL]

“Oh Luke,” he says, voice amused. “You still don’t get it. I figured out for myself that I was worth something long before I even met Harry. He was just the first vampire I’d met in a while who believed it too” [YASSSSSSSSS BINCH. THIS RIGHT HERE!!!! IS SO IMPORTANT.SO SO SOOOO IMPORTANT!!! HE DON’T NEED NO ONE TO REALIZE AND KNOW HE’S WORTH IT]

While Harry gets their satanic ritual or whatever it is he’s aiming for going [Hahahaha again with this type of humor. I LOVEEEE]

“A lifetime with you is never going to feel like enough,” Harry says honestly” ... “I guess it’s good that you’re going to have me for longer than that, then,” Louis says [LOUIS GONNA BE A VAMP!!!! FOREVER TOGETHER IM SO HAPPY!!! Also, can we get a sequel? drabble? SUMFFIN?? I vote for hot and hard 🦇 sex ayeee!]

“We were worth the wait” Louis clarifies finally [BINCH FUCK U IMA MESSSSSSSS]

Anyways, this is long af and totally unnecessary but I enjoyed reading this SO DAMN MUCH. I’m in love with this fic. There was a little bit of everything I enjoy reading. I’m still a bit annoyed that I didn’t guess Nick was the second person involved...I was always side eyeing Jeff just cause he didn’t do shit in this fic (funny how art imitates real life lol) and thought it would of been a big WTF lol. Emma, I know this fic was a nightmare at times to write but thank you so much for writing this. Especially bc it was somewhat out of your comfort zone and stuff so I really appreciate it. Okay, Imma stop being sappy and shit but you know how much my weird ass adores fics like this. So, THANK YOU! 

Everyone please go read the 🦇 fic if ya haven’t already and if you have...READ IT AGAIN. 

Xx.