#I just suck at responding on time again it's a me problem im so sorry

[basketobread]

Happy birthday! Mine was on Monday

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! ��❤❤❤❤❤ And happy belated birthday to you!!! I hope you had a good one!! :) 🙏❤❤❤

[66sharkteeth]

more thoughts (positive for a change)

sorry to keep treating this like a personal journal when most of you are here for CoB content but it remains the 1 place where i feel semi-safe talking about things w/o blasting them to 10k+ people while also having more than 0 people listening

but just feeling a little hopeful for once! i got invited to speak on my 2nd ever panel today. it looks like it's a small convention and it's far too early to know if it'll actually pan out (not even responding today bc im trying to be more strict about giving myself wednesdays off), but it's still just...really cool that i'm actually being recognized as a professional and invited to things.

i still think so much about how when i was like.....12....or something, we had to do one of those like...dream life assignments. and i remember exactly what i said- i wanted to be a mangaka in japan with a studio apartment (yes, i was a very cringy kid. i called my friends -chan and -kun too). then i got older and more realistic. realized i could do art, but never my own project, and yeah, that's what i did for a long time.

yet... here i am now?!! granted, i never moved to japan (which i'm fine w/ lol) and it turns out studio apartments kinda suck and i much prefer a 1 bedroom...but i'm making a living off of that comic i came up w/ in middle school when had 0 concept of reality and how unlikely the chance to do that would be. and... i dunno! for a kind of rare moment, i feel like i can keep doing it (knock on wood)? if it's not obvious by now, i can get kinda doom and gloom about my future (and i wont even think about the industry as a whole w/ AI becoming more of a problem every day), but just for this moment i feel kinda optimistic?

i still have no idea what my future holds with webtoon. I have no idea when I'll have something ready to pitch again or if they'll even take it, but for once I feel like that uncertainty doesn't mean all or nothing. I kinda feel confident for once that even once CoB concludes on Webtoon, I can keep doing this to some capacity, whether that's through another series, physically printing CoB, somehow continuing CoB, I dunno yet. like i dunno. i think i'm just finally having this dawning realization that i am a professional? and other people see me as such? ik, probably a dumb thing to just now be realizing but blah blah, imposter syndrome or something, etc etc.

not sure where i'm going with this but just thank you guys for your support. if you're one of the like 100 people who actually follow me here, tbh you're probably one of my more dedicated readers, so thanks for being part of making this quite literal childhood fantasy dream come true. and shout out to the people actually inviting me to stuff on the super slight chance they actually follow me here. it seriously gave me kind of a reminder that oh yeah, i am a professional and good at this

[callibones]

hello!!! 🩸🟪 again. sorry for asking so early in the morning--i know you said you timed your last poast so i would see it so i feel bad for changing my hours but i had some extra free time. in the future you don't have to time your responses if you dont wanna. i peruse your blog at least once a week or so so ill probably find things ! and i dont wanna bother you first thing, thank you SO MUCH for that injoke guide! i'm like lvl 500 autistic so i had trouble figuring them out naturally. this makes things sm easier.

second thing... you have a bill cipher fictive? that's inch resting. i think i might also be plural too but i'm kinda off and on about it. but when u said that i looked back at the post they made and it was tagged with a #👁️? and then i looked at your other posts and there's a few tagged with a #👑. and your posts are usually tagged with #callie.txt.exe. so i thought hm. so i don't make any mistakes--what's your bill cipher fictive's name? how many people are there? is callie around the majority of the time? this is probably invasive so you don't need to respond to any of this JKHJBGVFCDXRCFGVHBJKNHBGVFCDXCGHBJKNHJBGVFCDGFVHBJ. also ive definitely Won and have obtained zero shelled feelings ever absolutely.

third. I LOVED OIL AND WATER!!! thank you sm. i haven't finished reading through all the other fics you reblogged though so when i do ill send you my thoughts on all of them in a different ask. you are so Based but not in a weird way in like a cool awesome way. fourth. i.. do rlly wanna dm you but my main thing is that i kind of Lost access to my main account a bit ago? idk how i was just stupid and Forgor

so ive been slowly trying to rebuild it on this new one. problem is, it's not Done yet. i'm worried im going to dm you and it will be Incomplete and you will forever perceive me as a Flawed, Unfinished version of myself. it would simply tarnish the wonderful 🩸🟪 brand, you know?

so i think.. if i do dm you, it'll be in a little while. i'll probably create a dedicated sideblog for the occasion when i do, ok? i do wanna hear you yap in a more controlled environment.

last thing i swear. so this actually has NOTHING to do with anything else you said but im like freaking out. so i checked your youtube channel and i noticed your description.

television for a head.

this is cool and all and your sona is SO AWESOME but this also Sucks for me because this ENTIRE TIME i've been drawing you as a computer! i have so much callibones fanart of you as a fucking desktop where it's like nested so your monitor has a little desktop assistant that is also you and it goes on forever and ever and ever with even smaller callies and that idea was WRONG!! i shouldve known from the antennae but i thought that was a bug thing not a tv thing (which, by the way, excellent choice on your part. when i'm not an assembly of shapes, i do enjoy being an insect.) but i was a FOOL!!!

so this makes me realize hey wait what else am i getting wrong? this thing is colored differently in this image than all the other images. what's the correct thing to do? and i came to the conclusion that i need to just ASK YOU! (wow who could've guessed. you're so smart.) yeah! i am! the smartest in the whole world even

if you happen to have any, i need reference sheets of your sona. if you have reference sheets of the alternate variants (or are those headmates? i saw one was called calliope and i think there was a bill cipher one so is that the fictive? i don't know but i want to draw them) those would be appreciated too. i have made a grave error and i must resolve it immediately.

with that. um. thank you for humoring me, id like to thank all our sponsors for getting me to write this ask, i will join the discord servers and message you one day because i am Not Afraid of Anything in the Whole Wide World. toodles

HELLO 🩸🟪! hope i didnt keep you waiting too long.... wanted to finish my ref first! PLUS i got a whoooole buncha busy goin on so im SUPER occupied.... but now i got time just for YOU! i definitely didnt time this one im just postin it now that i Can.... but im sure you can use the tag and your weekly browsing skills to find your way back here. hehehehe.

SECOND: very observant! yes, while we haven't made an official post for it, calliope uses the crown emoji and calcifer uses the eye emoji! that's his name, by the way. in fact, here's the whole gang, labeled with NAMES & PRONOUNS!

("who the fuck" is me, sorry. hehehehe.) (putting the id on this one out here so its easier. from left to right, you got:

the commissariat (she/they) in red, in a fancy longcoat with a jacket makin a serious pose

me, callie (it/fae/she) in green, in my usual "have a rotten day" top that shows my bra a lil and my short skirt

calliope (she/thon) in purple, wearing thons over-the-top storm supervillain dress

calcifer (he/she/it/they and it insisted on including "calcifae/calcifaer" as well) in yellow, with a suit, a shorter skirt than mine, a sword, and the bill cipher triangle-eye pose

and callyris (she/it) in pink, with short-shorts and a crop top fully showin its maintenance panel.

i'm around the majority of the time, but there's five of us includin' me and Calcifer! he's more than just bill cipher, btw. he's he/him lesbian bill cipher! hehehehe. he's also like genuinely growing as a person and i'm REALLY proud of him. also it's okay i have shelled one feelings too. calcifer says you're probably pretty easy to take advantage of and should call her.

THIRD: YAY! cedardivine, who made that peanutiel story, JUST made a separate post the other day with all thons blaseball writing. so GO CHECK THAT OUT! i sure plan to. :-D

FOURTH: cmon you dont gotta brand. EVERYONES flawed and unfinished! including me! im fucked upppp dont put me on a pedestal. im incomplete too!!!!

FIFTH HERES MY REF!!!! i made it just for you (genuinely!) so you GOTTA show me your fanart now because omg? omg???? omg???????? you made fanart of me? sobbing and crying??

also youre KINDA right about the desktop assistant thing! i fuckin love the nestedness so much and theres definitely some stuff where i imply that! but thats because.... so the actual sona is a desktop assistant virus thing. but fae takes on the appearance of a tv-head bot! so when fae's in The Real World fae uses a Made Physical version of that same cartoony self to walk around in. and on that robot's an OS running... the actual desktop assistant! so while it's not infinitely nested, you're right that my reality is Layered. i wonder if it could go deeper than that....

theres not a lotta art of the others YET but heres SOME FUCKIN AWESOME ART MY WONDERFUL FRIEND OF RIGORMARCY DREW OF THON so lookat that.

and here's calcifer's never-before-posted discord pfp, just for you:

calcifer sez: THERE'S MY CARD! GIMME A RING IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A NEW DEITY TO CHAT UP. THE SHELLED ONE MAY BE DEAD, BUT I'M AROUND FOREVER! FOREVER.

so. do what you will with this information.

IN CONCLUSION please send me your fanart if you wanna and feel like it because thats SO AWESOME that you made some... literally misty eyed.... ill look forward to your next correspondence whether i know you as 🩸🟪 or as whatever your name is on whatever platform you wanna reach me with! feel free to shoot me a friend request on discord if tumblr aint workin for ya. tell em 🩸🟪 sent ya! because that's you. and you can send you. But not in the mail, unfortunately. 1984.

UNTIL NEXT TIME GOOBY!!!!

[lifeafterpsychiatry]

Hi, sorry for venting, but I think I need some advice (you can ignore it or just post in case someone else would want to help if you don't want to /nf)

So...Im autistic and always had troubles making friends. Rn I have a friend of almost two years, but Im starting to realise that they affect my mental health. Its hard to talk with them, because:

When I say, that I don't like something in our relationship them would either deny that that thing even exists or make it my fault and call me a crybaby because I don't understand jokes. (Like when I said that im not comfortable with sexual jokes in my direction cuz im a minor and they are not. They got angry cuz ita a joke and "you can't actually think im a pedophilic, thats stupid!" (I didn't, but the jokes can also be weird))

Or sometime she will actually do what I ask, but only for a few days. Like when I asked to use tontegs so I could understand them better and she was so enthusiastic about it, saying that they will learn it all...rn they don't use them at all which make it harder for me. (Like she told me that she would unfriend me if I don't answer her correctly and I got really scared just so her to say afterwards that it was a joke)

And the thing that makes me the most upset: It begins to seem that our communication is a monologue, not a dialogue. Like, she would talk about his day and will get upset when I don't answer vividly enough, however, when I start talking about things that are important to me ( things I'm proud of, my straggles or just the thing I love) she becomes dry and distant, responding with simple "cool" "mhm" or just ignore. I tried to tell her about it for the past two years but she always refused to acknowledge the problem. The last time (a few days before) she just replied "okay" and that it.

I know that all of that can be a lot, but she also a great friend. Like, she tells me how much she loves me or how proud of me she is...and I really like that. I like spending time with her, its fun. I don't have any other friends and Im scared of being alone, but now I just can't talk with her like I used to because of all the problems and I don't know what to do. She doesn't listen to me and Im afraid that if I will tell her all of that again, she will be angry at me and blame me and I will have a panic attack again and I don't want that because my life is already hard.

Im really sorry for the long ask, I just don't know what to do and I don't have anyone to ask for advice...

I get that loneliness and isolation sucks, but in most cases I'd say that it's better to be isolated for a while than to keep investing in friendships with people who treat your badly and don't respect your boundaries and with whom you can't have a constructive conversation about the issues in the relationship. And no matter how much this person claims to care about you or how fun she can be, it doesn't sound like she's actually treating you with respect.

[schizosupport]

Hi! I never send asks I'm sorry if this is weird or awkward? I'm just sitting in a mental health ward right now and trying to figure out whats going on.

So I've had mental health problems for a decade now but the past week is the first time my paranoia and things have ever gotten this bad, it felt like there were creatures? shadow people? in my apartment and i was only safe if i stayed totally still and silent cause then they couldnt hurt me, i kept seeing them out of the corner of my eyes, and it just wasnt safe to touch the floor or look in mirrors in the same way your brain wont let you touch a hot stove and no one seems to understand when i explain that its just not safe i cant do it and i cant explain. Is there a word for that? i dont understand any of this.

But it just kept getting worse and worse until my friend called the police on me and they took me to the hospital. ive calmed down now and realize it wasnt real but it FELT real and I feel like im going insane and don't know what to do, theyre saying its micropsychosis because of my bpd and because its supposedly bpd they dont know if they can help with meds but i dont feel like i can function like this, i know it gets bad again when im alone and i live alone and no one here seems to understand anything about psychosis at all, they keep giving me pamphlets on anxiety and breathing exercises (helpful but not what I need-what do i do when im seeing things? when something feels unsafe do i force myself to do it anyways as exposure therapy? or treat it like its real and try and calm down that way?) And basically i was wondering if you have any advice? or even reliable places to read more to learn about psychosis or micropsychosis or whatever this is? i just know its terrifying and im scared and dont feel like i can talk to anyone about it. Sorry this got so long!

Hi there!

It sounds like you had a really scary episode of paranoia, I'm sorry that happened to you! It's definitely recognizable to me as an experience, and I completely understand why you are scared of being that irrationally afraid again. It's very scary to lose control of your own mind in that way.

It always sucks when the MH professionals around you don't seem to quite understand your difficulty. While they may be right that this sounds like it could be an episode of "micro psychosis" that could be associated with bpd (or other disorders), that doesn't mean that it isn't a type of psychosis and that you can't benefit from resources geared more at that.

I would say about medication that the professionals may be reluctant around antipsychotic medication, because those are very side effect heavy medications, but if you continue to have experiences like this, it's not to say that it couldn't be worth it for you. Everyone responds very differently.

As for how to "deal with it" it's honestly very hard, especially in the beginning, and it's not something I can easily summarize in my current state and everyone is very different. But I think that trying to find things that make you feel more safe in the moment is important, even if it's "silly". Like for me, if I'm having a bad time when I'm going to sleep, I'll sleep with my lights on to avoid the worst of the paranoia. And I know some people have a teddy they consider protective, stuff like that. It might seem like "leaning into the crazy", but I don't personally think that it's harmful to use the "crazy" logic of these episodes to find a bit of comfort as well.

I hope that you can start to feel more safe.. and if this continues or gets worse I hope you can find some help from the professionals in your life.. otherwise I recommend looking for communities of others with similar experiences.

I hope this answer finds you well,

Glitch

[waitimcomingtoo]

hii bestie!! happy belated birthday 🎂💗

im in need of advice and im sorry to dump all that on you but i really don't know what to do. so i started dating this guy that i really liked until he started getting almost like mood swings, insecure and never communicate his problem after 2 days of being unreasonably mad at me (sometimes it was about me/sometimes it wasn't), the fact is that i was really getting into my lowest point and becoming someone that i was not. so in our last fight I said that i need a break to think (friday+the weekend) the time that i asked wasn't really respected and that made me 10 times certain of the decision i was making.

(im gonna add time here so it's not as confusing) on may 29th i broke up with him, gave a lot of explanations and tried not to be a bitch but not also be like "we can just go back to being friends" (cause that's just not how it works), i put most of the blame on me bc i know that i was not the best gf ever and i was honesty scared that he was gonna kill hs bc he was very dependent on me, he insisted on being together but i already had my made and he accepted it.

on the same week but june 1st (happy bday tom) he invited me to go to a coffee shop, and i thought it would be awkward so i made up an excuse and he sent me a huge message on how we should start again, and i had to go through all my reasoning again so he'd understand why i did all i did, to wich he never responded.

this week he started the same thing, and again, sent me this whole thing about getting back together. and honestly im so tired of all of this, having to go through all of those reasons and putting the blame on me just so he can't find a solution in his mind bc there's none. the only thing keeping me away from blocking him or being rude is bc we're on the same friend group, and it would suck for our friends (and it already does).

i honestly wish i could write about how unheard, unseen, disrespected and idealized i felt through it all, and specially now without sounding way go rude.

im sorry for this giant thing but i really don't habe anyone to talk abt this rn, you don't have to read it all or reply if you don't want to i just really needed to vent lol

loved your last series 💗

Block him!!! He will never listen. He doesn’t hear you. He doesn’t see you. You’re an object to him right now and he’s made it his goal to get you back. It’s become a competition for him that he has to win. It had nothing to do with you. He will not respect you if you get back with him. You’ve done all you could. It’s time to block him and move on. You can ever say “if you’re not going to hear me, you can no longer contact me” and block that bitch

[gavinsmg24]

I’m going to skim respond bcuz there was a lot but really it’s just me responding but I may not hit every thing. Anyways! I read everything and I’ll try to respond as I scroll thru what you said. Mainly to start. Yoh talked about what happened recently. Where you cleaned bong and he got upset even tho you did it bcuz you were waiting. How can everything be a problem. Lkke you said. All he had to do if he truly wanted your company was find you and say join me babe. But instead he’s like. You should’ve already been here? Like what’s uo his ass. I dont get treating people short and rude all the time. It’s exactly what you don’t deserve. Hmph. Like your right someone saying something shouldn’t affect your whole day. But when your already a depressed person and your partner is giving you little care or thought then it makes sense how you feel! Maybe you should be less sensitive? But no he needs to be like 2x more thoughtful about emotions. I mean! Whether he thinks it’s dumb or not he’s your partner. Either adapt or work with it. Don’t just get mad or cause problems for no reason. He makes it seem like you cause problems. But really he’s causing problems but it’s not problems to him bcuz it’s not affecting him it affects you. So when you (as a healthy relationship should be) try to talk to him and he’s like. This shouldn’t be a problem that’s fucked!

And it’s like gifts aren’t required but I’m sure you wouldn’t be saying that If he complimented or made time to hang out. Like. Since you moved with him. He should be trying to take you out with his friends or coworkers. Not really but like. For me. Even if the boys didn’t want to hang. I’d try to at least have us all do stuff every once and a while idk. Like it shouldn’t be that way but it’s real life sims! We like interaction and groups!

And yeah that’s what sucks. When people barely congratulate but always judge harshly when things are wrong. That is frustrating grr. I hope you find another job soon princess. Maybe one that’s from home again or a job that’s easily transferable? I just mean that for a worst. Case. If you ever wanted to go elseware that way you’d at least have a job. Anyways. That’s hypothetical and far away. I just want you to have your own cushions to fall back onto if you ever need to.

I just.. I hate how manipulative and toxic masculinity sounding he is.. Im sorry I know I shouldnt say but like. Barely talking to you or secluding self. Like. Alone time is one thing but like cmon! Live in same house interact! I know you do but just off of what you say. Like. Talk when you have nothing to say?! That’s small talk! To fill silence and he says he doesn’t have anything to say? Then shut uo and listen to your rambles! I’d listen to gibberish rather than silence tf. Grr I’m sorry getting riled trying not to.

Why does it matter where you watch stuff! Like if he wasn’t using office who cares! You say he eats fruit and watches YouTube alone. Why can’t you! If he’s not gonna make you smile fuck off! Rawr!

Princess this is the thing I’ve wanted you to always understand and I’m saying this bcuz you said “am I crazy” no! Your not. Everything you’ve written and shared. If any unbiased parted read this would feel the same (someone with our care and morals) like it’s almost your bday and he’s still treating you normal. Like no one’s needs a birth week but cmon. Like oooh babyyyy almost bday. Any things you wanna do? Plans? Maybe he’ll surprise you but idk. You could tell yourself it’s selfish to want gifts but it’s not. It doesn’t have to be a diamond ring. I’d get you those lil toys we used to get (not really but getting that over nothing or something with no thought is different than just getting something expensive. I wish I could go to the mall with you. Give you a price limit and spoil you for a day. Or ask for ideas and wrap them and wake you with breakfast n gifts

Like. Obviously we dated early and younger. And our living arrangements were all over the place. But I just can’t believe how much home work you do. Like. Old timey woman cooks n cleans and he still finds ways to get upset. Grr. If I came home and didn’t have to worry about cleaning I’d be so at peace. Like living with me n 2 bois! Always dishes and I’m doing them the most! (I use the most but still! They use stuff too!)

And back to the locked door and tasks. Like. Cmon. Your partners. No one should be. Punishing anyone. Your not dealing with kids. You talk out problems. Not yell or put down. Yelling happens. But this isn’t normal arguments. This is mind games and lack of care. Not really.. I should stop. I dont want to sway your mind. I’m just responding to what you say. I want you to know your thoughts are valid. Not crazy. Your smart and kind. But to get this to the end. Like what! He forgets his own tasks so it’s like oh you could’ve forgot that. Or if you forgot then he’d notice. Punk 😤 hypocrite. Narcissist, more. Rawr!

Anyways this responds to the longer cont. 1 n 2 next will be most recent. You’re strong and brave. I hope you can find a path that leads you to fun and relaxation soon

[minkiroo]

- changes

pairing: mark lee x f!reader

warnings: this story revolves around the reader having a restrictive eating disorder. if this triggers you in anyway, please do not read!! i write to help vent and materialize my feelings into words and this is just what im dealing with. there is some argument and language!!!!!

genre: angst, fluff, idk lol

note: def not proof read for edits and this is probably ass but it is what it is lol. im sorry if any of yall are dealing with this shit too. it sucks. also b/f/n means best friend’s name.

_______

whichever disordered bitch said to romanticize not eating obviously never had the (dis)pleasure of being sat in front of your best friend and boyfriend, having to defend yourself against their concerns and grievances.

had you been looking at them, you would’ve noticed [b/f/n]’s tense expression - eyebrows knitted, deep breathes through the nose - and mark fidgeting anxiously as he remained seated across from you in the living room. instead, your eyes fixated on the texture of the couch you were seated on, praying to every god that you could melt into the ground to never be seen again.

[b/f/n] continued to talk at you - though you only caught half of what she said… you’re ruining yourself… you’ve changed… where did my best friend go? and though you knew it was out of concern and anxiety, her shaky voice and harsh words stunned you. there was only so much you could take.

“are you done yet?”

your best friend paused her rant upon hearing your voice for the first time since you all sat down. “what was that?”

you cleared your throat, mustering up the courage to look at her blankly. “i said, are you done yet?”

eyes widening, she scoffed in disbelief.

“are you serious? am i done yet? you’re fucking torturing yourself and you expect me to sit around and watch it happen?”

“im literally fine; what’s it to you anyway?” your voice began to raise in anger.

mark sat watching the exchange escalate, unsure of how to respond. his eyes traveled back and forth between the two of you, his girlfriend and her best friend who came to him for support and advice about confronting you.

she gave a sarcastic laugh. “what’s it to me? im your best friend, [y/n]. we’ve been friends for years now and you expect me to not care? i feel bad suggesting we go out for dinner because i know you’ll be stressing over what to order. you’re distracted all the time. you’re tired. we hardly do anything together anymore. and i know it’s not about me but god.. is it so wrong to miss my best friend?” her anger slowly dissipated into desperation as she struggled to maintain a level voice and hold her tears in. you looked towards mark blankly and made eye contact with him, seeing the exasperation and upset in his face.

“we just want to help.” you heard him say softly.

it was your turn to scoff. “is this some ploy to make me out to be some freak or crazy person? i told you im fine - okay, maybe a bit stressed but who fucking isnt? i cant believe you two would just talk behind my back and make assumptions - are you implying i have an eating disorder? what the fuck?” you gave a dry laugh. you knew you were being irrational, but what else were you to do? you knew you had a problem, but why would anyone want to admit that in front of the two people they held dearest in their life?

moments pass before the front door to your shared apartment slammed as you watched [b/f/n] storm out with her bag, likely to clear her head. you stared at your lap, unsure of what to say. instead, you focused on catching your breath and calming your racing heart. the anxiety that had overtaken you manifested itself as a cold that enveloped you, delivering a shiver in response.

your head shoots up at the sound of mark’s voice. “do you really think she came to me worried about her best friend because she wanted to sabotage you somehow?” and while his question seemed accusatory, his voice conveyed nothing but genuine concern and care. he looked at you sincerely, leg bouncing up and down in anticipation.

“i-fuck.” you responded breathlessly, running a hand through your hair anxiously. mark stands from his position on the couch opposite and moves to sit next to you, but not before you stand yourself and take a step back. he blinks at you. “i’ve obviously been a nuisance in your lives and thats the last thing i ever wanted… i think its best if i just..” you trailed off.

“best if you what?”

you bit your lip, doing everything in your power to hold your tears in. “you deserve some space away. i shouldnt be causing all of this stress and maybe… maybe some time apart would be good for you. for you both.”

“baby what are you saying? don’t be like that.” he reached out to you, pulling you into his arms and holding your body securely against his own. leaning down to place small kisses on the crown of your head, he felt your body begin to shake as you succumbed to your tears and anguish.

“im so, so sorry. it wasnt ever supposed to get this bad; i- i dont know what to do mark.. i feel so stuck.” you cried powerlessly. he rubbed your back soothingly as he watched you let yourself go.

mark, with his soft character and tender heart, found it difficult to maintain his composure when you had finally let yourself be so vulnerable in his presence. though he hated to admit it, he had anticipated this exact scene happening months ago when your friend had first expressed her concerns about your worsening eating and food anxiety. and though they agreed to remain passive, hoping by some chance that you wouldn’t fall any worse, your recent state had worried them far too much for comfort.

as you pulled away slightly to look up at him after a couple deep breaths, you noticed the few stray tears that trailed down his solemn face. you gave him a small smile and wiped his eyes.

“shhh… don’t cry; you’ll make me cry.” you laughed softly with tears lining your waterline. he shook his head lightly, sniffling. you continued, “i’ll be okay. give me time. i’m sorry i was an asshole earlier.”

“it was a high pressure situation. i dont blame you.” he breathed. you hang your head, head resting against his chest as you played with his fingers that was holding your own. “though i do think you owe [b/f/n] an apology. as she does to you. she was worried sick.”

you sighed, “yeah. i’ll call her now.”

you pulled away to grab a tissue, wiping your nose and shakily ringing her phone. after a heartfelt apology (on both sides) and perhaps a couple more tears shed, you both settled your guilt and hung up.

upon tossing your phone on the couch, you realized mark had likely disappeared into your bedroom. you move slowly to your room, seeing him seated on the edge of your bed, fidgeting with his fingers.

you sat next to him, the bed sinking slightly to lean you two slightly closer to each other. you laid down on your back, pulling him back with you to enjoy the view that was your white ceiling.

“may i ask why?”

you took a deep breath and held your stare at the ceiling.

“its always been like this mark. since i was in middle school and getting comments from family and classmates about my body. sometimes it just gets worse than usual.” you shrugged.

“im sorry.”

“why are you apologizing? it’s no one’s fault but my own.” you turned to him slightly, brushing away the hair that fell in front of his eyes. you gave him a small smile despite his consistent gaze looking upward.

“is there anything i can do to help?”

“ah-” you paused. “i wish i knew. i dont know how to undo nearly a decade of disordered eating and tormenting thoughts about my body.”

“does your therapist know? how has that been going?” he continued to ask sincerely.

you sighed, “i dont think ive been completely honest with her. maybe ill start there.”

“maybe that'll help.” he replied, turning on his side and propping himself up with his arm.

he looked down at you and smiled, leaning in to press a sweet kiss to your lips. you attempted to sit up without breaking the kiss but to no avail, giggling in response. your hands moved to run through his hair, as you reconnected, lips moving in sync desperately as he held your body close to his.

breathlessly - and with reddened lips - you pull away slowly. “i love you. i think i need a nap.”

“i love you too baby.” he adjusted himself so he was laying the right way on your bed, you following.

for the next 2 minutes as you settled down, rethinking all that went down, you closed your eyes and maintained silence as he did the same.

of course, no one can say for certain when or how recovery starts or happens. if it was a step by step guide, it would be so much easier to break free from the grasp of restriction, worried family and friends, guilt, and consequential fatigue. you and mark both knew this.

but knowing there was always someone there to watch you in concern, genuinely worried about your health and wellbeing helped to ease your heart just a degree more. and just knowing that would help you moving forward in the future.

[spikesbimbo]

Paring: Makki x f!reader x Matsukawa

Tags: poly, bratty switch!makki, soft sub f!reader, dom brat!tamer issei, hurt/comfort, oral sex, makki being a meanie at first, soft dom!issei later on, squirting, daddy kink, snowballing, face sitting, spanking, voyerism, thigh fucking

Summary: makki takes it too far on a bad day, and issei makes him pay. ; )

wc: 1.7k

a/n: for my bby @selfishwitch, thank you for the header!

18+  minors dni

“I-issei, wait.” you tried your best to choke out as he already threw you over his shoulder, hauling you to the bedroom, makki smirking as he skipped behind.

Usually not caring about makki blaming you for little things, at the end of the day you were into anything they were. Not caring if you got spanked over and over again, or getting choked by issei as makki’s cock was down your throat for something as silly as him flipping your skirt in public while slapping your ass or pulling your top down and pinching your nipple, making you let out an embarrassingly lewd moan then saying you did it yourself.

But today you were so tired, work stressing you out to the point of tears. Just wanting to come home and be coddled on, to just eat whatever was in the fridge and cry yourself to sleep. Feeling him gently set you on the bed, heart swelling at the thought, his rough hands still so soft on you, eyes burning up at the thought disappointing him.

Mind telling you to let him do whatever he wanted with you, loose limbs laying there while he stripped you down. Squealing at the sudden impact across your thigh, body shaking as the stinging sensation felt so much more painful than usual. Makkis hair tickling your neck as he littered it with rough kisses.

Anxiety pooling in you at the thought of them not needing you, knowing that a relationship only needed two people, but you couldn't take it anymore. Trying to muffle your sobs as your wrists moved up to cover your eyes. Issei froze for a second, easily taking your limp hands away from your eyes, not seeing the usual dazed with lust, instead seeing real pain behind them.

���What’d you do?” He said to makki in shock, already knowing his antics but going along with them anyways. Quickly by stroking your cheeks with his thumb, head cradled between his chest and hand as he waited for him to respond.

“Did you lie? Lie and make our sweet baby cry, hm?” his tone sounding threatening as makki grew more uncomfortable, seeing you lay on the bed, helpless as could be, making his heart clench.

“Y-yes” he muttered out, scared to look his boyfriend in the eye. “I- , m’sorry daddy” he ashamedly said as his cheeks burned up, not wanting to actually break you this far.

“If you think saying daddys gonna save you, you're wrong.” issei’s large hand dragging him towards the chair, rough fingers taking his clothes off, sitting pretty and naked before you two.

“You’re gonna be a good boy for once, and just watch. No touching yourself.” Issei said, looking down at makkis cock, already so hard and swollen, pink tip tuning red, precum staining his boxers. Nerves rising as his cock throbbed just from his boyfriend getting a little rough with him.

  “...or your gonna get punished. Got it?” Issei's voice breaking him out of his trance, nodding with a huff, cheeks pouting as his eyes watch him leave towards you. 

 “W-wait, i-ssei, you don't have t-” you started, not waiting to leave makki out, mind foggy as you didnt realize that he was enjoying it deep down, not seeing his cock throb as you begged for an ounce of attention from the man above you.

“Shh princess, i'm just gonna take my time with you, that okay? He whispered into your skin, reading your mind, hearing nothing but your heart. “Cmon sweetheart, gotta tell daddy or he won't know what to do.” he egged on, hands lingering on your body, waiting for a response.

Shaking your head slightly up and down as he surprisingly took just that for an answer, eyes swelling up again as you grew apprehensive, never getting it this easily in your relationship with them, not wanting them to play with you anymore.

“S’okay baby, I got you. Daddys here, yeah?” He said wiping your tears, clearing up your vision to let his soft smile shine through. 

Makki watched, cheeks tinted pink as his hair, seeing your legs get haphazardly thrown over his shoulders, wishing that was him. Wishing that you were the one tugging on his hair while his tongue abused your cunt, making you moan his name out over and over again, wanting to take his time and drag it out, wanting to make it up to you.

Your precious little whimpers leaving your lips as your body jiggled around, knowing the feeling all too well. Issei's thick fingers stretching you out, clenching around nothing, unlike you. 

Back arching as best as your tired body could, tears spilling out. Falling down your cheeks and onto your tits, finally from pleasure and not pain. Crying out daddy, as your hands gripped tightly onto his hair. 

“There's my pretty girl.” He said, tongue not leaving your clit as he smirked, fingers curling into you as he saw makki eyeing up your body. Wanting to put on as much as a show that he could, his cute pout getting his dick even harder.

“Wish you were me, huh?” he teased, reaching up to grab your tit in his hand, gently squeezing the soft flesh between his fingers as his face broke away from you cunt.

“C’mon baby, let’s show him what he's missing.”

Mind somewhere else as he adjusted you with your back to his chest, legs spread open as you felt him grow on your back. Clinging onto him while his thumb moved back down to your swollen nub, rubbing it in circles while his middle finger made its way inside of you. Getting faster and faster as you bounced on his hold, the burning feeling making its way up your stomach again, but in this position you grew scared.

“M-, im gonna make a mess,” you whimpered, you and your boyfriend seeing makkis eyes grow at the sentence. 

“Really?” The feeling of you already dripping onto him was making him lose his act. Incoherent words coming out of your mouth as you got closer, pretty little head of yours thinking that it was such a problem when it wasn't.

Turning your body, giving makki a full view. “Perfect.”

Finger curling one last time as he felt you clench around him, pulling it out as you did make a mess everywhere, rubbing your clit with all his fingers trying to milk it out. Moans leaving your mouth as it landed all over him, opening your eyes, apologies coming out of your mouth as Issei calmed you down. 

“Shh, baby look.” he said, eyes following his down to his cock, seeing his cheeks turn the reddest you've ever seen, covered in you cum looking the prettiest he's ever been. Cunt throbbing as he finally unfroze, licking it off his lips with a smile.

“You gonna say sorry?”

Nodding faster than he could get his words out “That's a good boy.” issei said, walking up to him, placing his lips on his as he swapped your cum back and forth. Feeling like he was being tortured as he didnt let him cum yet. Tip so swollen it was painful as his teary eyes begged to cum, the only time you'll ever catch him caring. Whiny voice begging out “please, m’sorry, ple-, ah, ngah,.. m-m’sor-, please!”

“You okay doll?” he asked, turning his attention to you, tired eyes opening as you shook your head again. “Wanna do me a favor, pretty girl?” 

The soft tease in his voice bringing you back, feeling like a weight lifted off your shoulders reminding you that this is how it should be. Smiling a croaked out “yeah.”

“Wanna be my good girl and go sit on his face?....Bad boys don’t get to beg.” he said, looking over to makkis fear stuck face, body tingling as the word ‘my’ left his mouth.

“Hm?”

Responding by crawling over to him, seeing his flushed face as you parted your thighs, bare cunt open for him to see and use as your hands rested on his chest. Feeling his hot breath on your overstimulated clit, twitching as your knees almost gave out under you.

Hearing him mummer out a “hurry up” before his hands impatiently grabbed your thighs and drug you down onto him, a disgruntled moan coming out as his nose rubbed your clit. Not paying attention to anything as you didnt feel one of his hands leave, moving its way down to his cock, but issei did.

“Never said you could touch yourself.” He uttered out, leaning back in the chair makki was formerly in, pulling his cock out while slowly stroking it at the sight before him.

Feeling his muffled whines against you as you saw his legs kick like a child, almost cooing at how cute he was before his finger pinched your clit, nearly falling onto him before he gripped you tighter. Taking out his frustrations on you, seeing that he desperately wanted more as his hips were humping nothing, swearing could come from just the friction of the air. 

“m-makki, i-, m’go-, ah!” 

Making you cum before you could even get it out, his finger curling up into you, body feeling it tenfold as you went limp on his arms. Catching you before you could fall, laying you down next to him. Greedy hands trying to reach for your tits but Issei snatched him away before he could.

Kissing him on the forehead while stroking him off, big hands wrapping completely around it, thumb swiping the tip over and over. Releasing instantly at the touch while makkis hands felt up his crotch, issei sighing as he licked his messy fingers, chuckling out.

 Eyes trying their best to stay open to see your boyfriends get each other off, letting out a whine as you wanted makkis attention too. Issei placing his cum coated fingers between your lips, sucking on them as you nodded off, makki resting his head on your chest as he laid on top of you.

“S’okay,” Makki smirked out, high still not wearing off as he palmed issei’s cock once more, resting it between your thighs as he couldn't help but rut into them. “We got you baby, don't we?”

[wherestoriescomefrom]

if you had to introduce yourself through four books, what books would be they be? tagged by @metamatar thank u so much and i am v sorry for taking so long with responding to this <3

i am paralized by choices fr, but i think what rhu said in their post was also true that books you read when you're a teenager stick the longest. unfortunately for me one of the major ones was harry potter from which i have relentlessly disassociated over time so now that feels like no way to introduce myself. anyway

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. look i know it's not even my favourite (yeah, shockingly, my favourite is Mansfield Park) one amongst all of the books she wrote, but this was the first one i read, the first one i thought of when i thought ✨romance✨. i shudder to call it enemies to lovers also because the dynamic is so unique and the subject of every author's envy since miss austen dropped this beat in 1813. also you guys have no idea how much of my personality is inspired by this one, i have simply invented myself through the yearning and love that austen put in me. i wrote my master's thesis on emma.

Uprooted by Naomi Novik. this book saved my life during my master's. i had just gone through three years of undergraduate, and anyone who has studied literature will tell you that studying literature kind of sucks the life out of it. to discover it again takes something, and naomi novik entered my life, looked me in the eye, and said, "you're gonna fuckin love this. enemies to lovers, beauty and the beast, language based magic system, everything you love." and i fuckin fell for it, i was changed dramatically, i read all of the new age fantasy fiction of the fantasy renaissance. as u can see im just a romance gal.

Milk Teeth by Amrita Mahale. i hesitate to put this because i only read it this year, but since it's been living rent free in my mind since, i suppose we will just have say it's one of Those Ones. im not even sure if this one is as well written as it could have been but there were so many moments that made me feel like the author was crawling into my own skin, so, you know. the protagonist of the story was so interesting, the premise was so interesting, the dilemma and the political decision was so well framed,,,,, it is simply living in my mind since then.

The House that BJ Built by Anuja Chauhan. its basic and i know everyone's favourite is Those Pricey Thakur Girls but this one also happened to me and it just ushered in new kinds of reading for me. i know this is an unpopular opinion but loving delhi is such a central part of me that it just feels good to read about someone who falls in love in this city. also the protagonist is my absolute favourite, Bonu has my whole heart. i know she has like problems, i remember @whatdoesthefuturebehold and i had like a chat about it, but i can't help it, it's just my jam,,,,

The Truth by Terry Pratchett. sorry for cheating a little but i love this one so much. it's just got the best of pratchett in it, everything i love. meditations on the social contract, a printing press, fun romps with newspapers and the state of our reading public. plus that standard terry pratchett flair of just. militant decency. i know it makes sense as a standalone, but, holy shit, i'd have loved a sequel. i also struggled so much between putting this or tiffany aching, but i think i covered loving witches in Uprooted so you know, figured i'd throw in my love for print cultures.

shoutout to the Book of Indian Folk Tales of which i cannot remember the author. it's lying in my home in lucknow somewhere, i may post about it later. anyway thats me <3. let me tag @readingthenight @half-past-late @infantisimo and @khlur

[queenshelby]

My Friend’s Father (Part Eleven)

Pairing: Cillian Murphy x Reader

Warning: Age Gap, Smut, Domestic Violence, Angst

Words: 1,566

Please comment and interact…it’s what keeps this blog going

***************************

‘Jesus Amalie’ Cillian gasped as he pulled away from her in less than a second, causing Amalie to display some form of disappointment.

‘This is inappropriate. I think you realise that’ Cillian then said calmly before telling Amalie to cover up. He didn’t want Denise to walk in on them and get the wrong idea.

‘I am sorry. I thought that, perhaps, you might be attracted to me. Most men are’ Amalie said a little surprised but without any hesitation at all, causing Cillian to cock an eyebrow.

‘Well, I am not. Sorry’ Cillian said, shaking his head in surprise about her bluntness.

‘Sure? Because it could stay between us, you know? Even if you have someone, that’s fine with me’ Amalie said, running her hands over Cillian’s chest.

‘I am sure Amalie and I am going to be straight to be honest with you. Even if I wasn’t seeing anyone else, I wouldn’t be interested, alright?’ he said firmly, moving her hands away from him and causing Amalie to nod.

‘I am sorry’ she then said, causing Cillian to chuckle.

‘Alright…have a good night, okay?’ he then said, almost amused by the situation, before walking into his bedroom.

***

By the point he walked into his bedroom, his phone had gone off four times already as you had decided that you were bored.

You had sent him one picture after another followed by a question.

“Which set of lingerie should I wear for you when you get here on Friday? Xx” you texted, causing Cillian to gasp and stare before picking up the phone and call you.

“You are killing me with those pictures you know that?” he whispered and you couldn’t help but laugh about his reaction. You were still wearing lingerie in all of the photographs you had sent him and, yet, he was clearly turned on by them.

“I am sorry, I just can’t wait to see you again” you responded and Cillian was quick to tell you that he couldn’t wait either before informing you about what happened with Amalie.

“I don’t blame her, you know” you told him before reminding him on the night you seduced him rather bluntly as well.

“That was a little different though” Cillian chuckled but you didn’t think that it was different at all. In fact, the situation was quite similar and the only difference was that the feeling of attraction between you and Cillian was mutual.

“If you wouldn’t have me, would you have…?” you asked and, before you could finish your sentence, Cillian interrupted you.

“No, she’s not my type at all” Cillian said without hesitation.

“So, what is your type then?” you asked curiously.

“Intelligent women, who are down to earth and funny and, of course, there needs to be physical attraction too and, whilst Amalie is pretty, she’s lacking something…for me at least” he explained quietly so that no one could hear.

“Good” you said, before asking him about his choice of lingerie again and he outright told you that he didn’t care because, whatever you choose to wear, would come off rather quickly anyway.

Matters escalated from there and, after talking about Amalie’s actions, you reached the point where you felt as though you needed to mark your territory in some way.

*** Phone Sex ***

You: So, once the lingerie comes off, what would you do to me?

Cillian: I think I would want spend an extraordinary amount of time in between your legs, making love to you with my tongue.

You: Hmm, you are so good at that too. I honestly can’t wait Cillian. I might need to pleasure myself tonight just at the thought of it

Cillian: It drives me wild thinking of you pleasuring yourself, especially without me there. So, are you going to?

You: Already started.

Cillian: That was quick.

You: I told you earlier, I'm in the mood. There is no stopping me.

Cillian: Are you naked?

You: I am naked on your bed with my fingers inside my pussy.

Cillian: Do you have a vibrator?

You: Maybe.

Cillian: That’s a yes…use it.

You: Are you naked?

Cillian: Not yet.

You: Take off your clothes.

Cillian: Alright.

You: Are you hard?

Cillian: I’ve been hard for a while.

You: Stroke your cock for me.

Cillian: Already started. Have you found your vibrator yet?

You: Yes, can’t you hear it buzzing away?

Cillian: Is it deep inside you?

You: As far as it'll go. Circling around inside me. It feels lovely. But your cock would feel so much better inside me.

Cillian: Fuck babe, I can just imagine what you look like spread out across my bed with your vibrator inside you.

You: Do you want a picture?

Cillian: You know I do.

You: Alright, keep stroking your cock for me and I will send you one.

[Sent Picture]

Cillian: Fuck.

You: I knew you would like it. Now tell me, what would you do to me if you found me on your big bed like this?

Cillian: I would get rid of the vibrator and replace it with my tongue and fingers.

You: Ummhh. Sounds nice. I'd like that.

Cillian: And I'd keep licking until you tell me to stop because you can’t take it anymore.

You: Then what?

Cillian: I'd move up to put my cock in your mouth and make you take in all the way.

You: Oh. I'd like that. I'd suck it well.

Cillian: You would.

You: You know you are the first man I ever did this with?

Cillian: Seriously? You are a natural talent then and I feel very privileged. In fact, that just turns me on even more, being the first man you did this with.

You: There is a lot of things I want to try with you that I haven’t done before.

Cillian: Like what?

You: I want you to tie me up one day and have your way with me. Then maybe some spanking too. Maybe even anal sex, let’s see.

Cillian: Jesus Y/N. I can’t wait to do all these things with you.

You: Oh god, me neither. Are you still playing with yourself there?

Cillian: Of course. You?

You: Yes…I am very close too but my vibrator just died.

Cillian: Take it out.

You: I did.

Cillian: Is it very wet?

You: It actually is. The whole shaft. I must be very aroused.

Cillian: I want you to lick it.

You: Seriously?

Cillian: Yeah, do it for me. It’s a big turn on.

You: Alright.

Cillian: Tell me what it tastes like.

You: Like my pussy I would imagine.

Cillian: So it tastes pretty good then.

You: It's not gross. It's very wet.

Cillian: Is your pussy free now?

You: It is.

Cillian: Slide your fingers in?

You: Okay. Here they go.

Cillian: Slide them in and out, nice and deep. Your fingers should be soaking by now.  

You: Hmm, fuck I am so wet Cillian.

Cillian: Good. Keep fingering yourself. Hard and deep. Plunge them right in there and then I want you to take your fingers out and suck them for me.

You: So good, but I would much rather lick my juices of your throbbing cock.

Cillian: Your mouth would certainly feel so much better around my cock than my hand does.

You: Tell me what you would be doing if your cock was in my mouth right now.

Cillian: I think I would want to cum in your mouth. It’s so fucking sexy when you swallow my cum.

You: God, I love the taste of your cum. But the problem is that, you cumming in my mouth makes me want your cock even more.  

Cillian: Fuck, just the thought of cumming in your mouth is too much Y/N.

You: Are you close?

Cillian: So fucking close.

You: Me too. Oh god…fuck.

****

With those last words, you came in unison, moaning into the phone as you were talking to each other. You were fingering your pussy hard and fast while Cillian was stroking his cock thoroughly, seeking his realise.

‘Jesus I think I made a mess on your bed’ you said, breathing heavily as you came down from your high.

‘I wish I could have seen it’ Cillian gasped, also trying to catch his breath.

‘I will give you your own personal show on Friday’ you then said just before you heard the doorbell ring.

You were worried to open the door, not knowing who it was and Cillian wasn’t expecting anyone.

‘Just go to the door and see who it is. If anyone asks, you are a friend of Denise and I let you stay there’ Cillian suggested while he was staying on the phone, somewhat nervously and curious at the same time.

   Tag List:

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@peaky-cillian​

@severewobblerlightdragon​  @ysmmsy​ @kpopgirlbtssvt

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[that-one-weeb-but-starwars]

Help a sister Out? And Maybe all her brothers| Omega

Note: Omegas a growing kid (Like 11 or 12 I think she is) and of course...has to deal with female problems yay...puberty...

Warnings: uh puberty talk- is that a warning? Idk Omega learns a curse word too

Reader: Female

"Y/n. Y/n! Please get up!" Omega begged the sleeping woman as quick as she could, tucked under her bunk mates arm.

"Mhmm...Omega?" Y/n questioned turning around to face her, seeing the worried look on the girl's face.

"What's wrong?" Y/n spoke sitting up making sure not to disturb Tech, the worried on Omega's face scarred her, had something happened?

"I-I'm bleeding..." Omega spoke embarrassed.

"Bleeding?" Y/n questioned.

Omega nodded tears threatening to fall, "I-I didn't hurt myself, I know I didn't- but Im bleeding and I-"

"Omega, sweety calm down." Y/n spoke sitting up escaping Tech's arm, "tell me everything."

"I woke up-and I- I felt blood running down my leg- a-and. I- I didn't wanna wake Hunter- so I woke you and..."

Y/n only nodded, "go to the refresher and we'll talk."

Omega nodded in response rushing off, grabbing her personal bag she stowed away for both space and personal reasons she walked back to the refresher.

"Get in the shower and clean yourself, Don't worry I'll explain everything while you're in there," Y/n explained as she nodded rushing to turn the water on a strip of her clothes. Y/n washing Omeag's clothes in the sink.

"Omega when we stop at the next city, I'll take you shopping, if you'd like I can make you a set of blacks but need the fabric, you have extra clothes right?"

"Only one set...in my bunk..."She spoke worriedly, "why is this happening?"

Y/n frowned at her whispering washing the blood down the drain, "It's okay Omega. It's natural. It means your getting older. I know. It sucks...."

"I'm not gonna die?" She questioned.

"What? No." Y/n responded, "It just means your getting older like I said, I get the same too."

"You do?"

"Yep. It's natural and means you're healthy."

"Oh..." Omega responded, "does Hunter and them get this?"

"No. They don't." Y/n responded, "It comes with being a female is all. I'll be back let me get your extra clothes."

"Okay..."

Y/n rushed to get Omega's extra set of clothes, carefully walking through the isle of sleeping men retrieving her clothes, and rushing back to Omega.

"I got them." Y/n spoke going back to ringing out Omega's clothes, "you almost done?"

"Mhmm," Omega spoke as Y/n washed her hands, making Omega a small bag.

Turning the water off she handed Omega a towel.

"I stopped bleeding," Omega spoke.

"For now, " y/n responded Omega stepping out in a towel.

"For now?" Omega questioned.

"Here."

Y/n kneeled down holding a colorfully wrapped item.

"This is a pad, it'll help with your period, you have to change it every so often," Y/n responded.

"I have to wear this?"

"I mean don't have to. But... it's highly recommended, you know blood everywhere...." Y/n told her.

"Oh... how?" Omega questioned.

"Well... it'll absorb your blood. It's the reason you have to change it every so often. It goes in your...uh underwear."

Y/n had to admit she had never explained a period to another person, not another man or woman. And none the less a child.

"O-okay."

"I'll turn around so I'll be here if you need help but you'll still have privacy"

Omega nodded as Y/n stood up turning her head into the corner as Omega took her time trying to figure it out, but eventually did.

"I-its weird..." she spoke pulling up her pants, "you can turn around."

Y/n turned back around as Omega wore a T-shirt, pulling her other shirt over.

"You'll get used to it. But keep this."

She handed Omega a bag, "why?"

"It has extra. Just in case."

Omega nodded, "thank you..."

Y/n nodded, "When we all wake up and are on the move me and you can talk."

Omega hugged her as Y/n patted her head, "go back to bed now. But wake me up if you need help."

Omega nodded as she went back to bed, Y/n putting Omega's wet clothes in a plastic bag she had, she'd have to wash them next time they'd stop.

Washing her hands thoroughly she went back to bed, sliding in next to Tech who draped his arm around her and went back to sleep.

In the morning, she was woken by Tech climbing over her.

"Sorry." He apologized.

"It's okay..." she spoke letting him get out of the bunk and her following.

"Hunter's been asking for you as well. I did explain to him you need your sleep. But it seems Im the hypocrite in this situation."

"Tech. It's fine really, where's Hunter?"

"Everyone except Omega and myself in the cockpit."

Y/n nodded as she got up, following Tech in, they all had just woken up caf in their hands.

"What's the problem?" Y/n questioned Wrecker handing her a cup, "thanks."

"It's Omega. She won't come out her bunk." Hunter spoke.

"Okay?" Y/n questioned, "and?"

"And?! And?! We've tried getting her out but she says she really tired, and then says her stomach hurts- She won't let Tech in to see her! And Im worried she's sick!-"

Y/n watched bluntly as the others sipped their caff along with her.

"You seem to not care!" Hunter argued.

"Okay." Y/n responded, "she's a young person with a whole bunch of older people, What do you expect? She wants her own time."

"Why is she in pain?"

"Because she's growing," Y/n spoke.

"Growing?" Hunter spoke, "It shouldn't be painful to grow!"

"Well growing pains are common amongst the clones." Tech responded, "then again Omega does not have accelerated growth."

"Right so it means her pains gonna last a lot longer than yours." Y/n told them, "you know, she going through things, she gonna get these two monstrosities called breast, and she gonna be able to have a baby-"

"She's a baby herself she doesn't need to be having kids-" Hunter spoke.

"Well, that's what a period does. It basically helps your fertility, and cycles out all the old stuff. It comes in the form of-"

She looked at the men who held confused faces.

"What?" She questioned.

"We have no idea what you just told us," Hunter spoke.

"Wha-" Y/n spoke as she looked at Tech, "Tech?! Not you too-"

"Uh... breasts are nice? I don't think they're any help, they've saved you once or twice."

"How?"

"That commando droid couldn't stab you hard enough between your armor and your breast. You were saved." Tech spoke.

"I remember that! Tech's got a point!" Wrecker cheered, "so Omega will get extra protection! That's a win!"

"Yeah but some people like to stare," Echo spoke, "like that one time at 79s. Remember when that guy said Y/n had implants."

"Oh. I never understood why that argument happened" Wrecker spoke, "But it ended in a fight! And Y/n kicked his ass!"

"You can't always look at the bright side." Echo defended.

"Well, why not!" Wrecker argued.

"Because what benefits you could hurt someone else. And sometimes there's just not a good side to look at." Echo told, "it's common sense."

"See Echo gets it," Y/n responded sipping her drink.

"Okay! So what do we do!?" Hunter questioned.

"She'll be fine in a week-"

"A WEEK!? What are we gonna do!?" Hunter argued.

Y/n shrugged, "He's overreacting."

"he tends to do that occasionally," Tech told sipping his caff.

That's when Omega came out of her room, Hunter froze and going to kneel down to hug her but she rushed to hide behind Y/n.

"ooo ouch..." Wrecker spoke.

"c-can we go? now?" Omega questioned as Y/n nodded, "Okay me and Omega are leaving, bye."

"what-" Hunter watched Y/n grab her back and leave, "I-"

The two walked out the hanger and out of sight.

"M-My baby..." Hunter cried dramatically.

"Dude needs a hobby," Echo spoke.

"Agreed," Tech spoke.

"You make a good point." Wrecker agreed

[atlabeth]

fever - sokka x reader

this has been sitting in my drafts half finished for 3 weeks so i thot it was prime time i actually finished it

this is kinda based off the song w dua lipa and angele so you can listen to that if you want

summary: sokka's convinced there's a mystery illness keeping you from focusing, but somehow he's completely oblivious that the only 'sick' you are is lovesick, and he's the reason you can't focus.

a/n: i have never written a sickfic. but this is like. a fake sick fic. its an idiots in love fic. i mean this is coming from mr "is he taller than me? is he better looking?" himself so. it makes sense. as usual, this is not proofread bc im a lazy mf

also im sorry for being vague with the calc but i was NOT about to do math during summer who do you think i am? ??

wc: 1.7k

warning(s): mentions of being sick and 🤢calculus 🤮 but otherwise tooth rotting fluff

-

How could the smartest man you knew be so, so incredibly stupid?

You thought that you were being obvious, so obviously that you were sure he knew. It was embarrassing how obvious you were.

You had met Sokka in your calculus class at the start of the new semester after you ended up sitting next to each other, and it wasn’t a stretch to say that you were immediately smitten. With eyes like the ocean and a face that had to have been crafted by the gods, you were almost too distracted to respond when he asked you for a pencil. But when he winked at you after giving his thanks, it only solidified what you had already suspected: you had known this man for all of five minutes, and you already had a crush on him.

Little did you know, it was going to turn into the most infuriating crush you had ever experienced.

You and Sokka became fast friends even though calculus was the only class you had together. Unfortunately, it was also something that you completely sucked at. Bad news, it was required for your major. Good news, Sokka was some sort of genius and offered to tutor you — Wednesdays in the library turned into a weekly occasion, and served as an opening for your calculus skills, your feelings for Sokka, and your exasperation to all grow stronger.

You normally weren’t someone to beat around the bush. If you started to like someone, you told them and dealt with whatever happened after, but something about Sokka just kept you from spilling your feelings outright. You knew that if he didn’t feel the same way, your relationship likely wouldn’t change, but there was still that tiny voice that said it’s better to stay like this in case things do go wrong — and this was the first time you listened to that voice. You simply valued your friendship too much.

But that didn’t mean you were going to be completely quiet about it — you hoped that if you did enough, he would be able to realize you liked him and do the whole process for you. A bit of a dim hope, but crushes make people do stupid things.

Things like bringing an extra coffee to every session, laughing at all his jokes (even the bad ones), sitting a little closer to him than usual, not dropping out of this wretched class so you could spend time together (it might’ve been required, but you still counted it). He didn’t make a point to object to anything, so you knew you weren’t making him uncomfortable — but you had concluded after nearly a whole semester of working and studying together that he was the most oblivious person in all of Ba Sing Se. He could teach you all kinds of formulas, but had no idea that you liked him. Grand.

Today was arguably the most important session out of any of them, seeing as your next class was the final, so it was only fitting that Sokka unknowingly made himself more interesting than any material you could’ve been working with. His arms were going to be the death of both you and your calc grade. You swore that the heat rushing to your cheeks was actually emanating off of you.

“Hey, Y/N!” Sokka grinned as he saw you and raised a hand in greeting, a sentiment you would’ve returned had it not been for the coffee cups in your hands. You settled for mirroring his grin and settled down in the seat across from him. You slid his coffee cup over, set your own down, then shrugged your bag off all before taking a seat.

“You ready to study ‘till your eyes bleed?” he asked, prompting a nervous laugh from you.

“You jest, but my eyes might actually start bleeding depending on how long we go,” you sighed. “There’s a reason I got an extra shot of espresso today.”

“Come on — by now you should know that you have nothing to worry about! I am the best teacher there is, and you got me all to yourself.”

Your eyes widened momentarily and you coughed, purposefully averting your gaze to give yourself some time to recover. Okay, he was going to make it really hard to focus today. “Let’s just get into it.”

He nodded and flipped open his notebook, beginning to talk as he rifled through his bag for a few extra things. “Okay, we’re just gonna start with going over the basics, then we’ll work our way up. There’s a couple practice problems on that page, so you can go ahead and answer those as a warmup.

You slid the notebook over in front of you and after approximately five seconds of looking at the first problem, found yourself studying Sokka rather than the material. Who could blame you? In the battle of cute tutor boy versus calculus, he was going to win every time.

He turned around and you immediately averted your eyes once again, trying to appear extremely involved, but you found that your mind was empty on anything to do with math. “Hey, uh— how do you do this first one? I’m totally blanking here.”

“We use limits in everything — this is actually something you’re really good at!” He studied you intensely and frowned. “Are you okay? Like, you’re not sick or anything, are you? You seem kinda out of it.”

You choked out a laugh and shook your head. “No, no — I’m fine. I guess I’m just a little tired.” As if to demonstrate your lie, you took a sip from your coffee and cringed internally. Love had turned you into an idiot.

He seemed to buy it as he nodded and picked up the pencil, scribbling a couple of notes as he explained the first problem to you. “Does that make sense?” You nodded and he handed the pencil back to you. “Okay — the other ones follow the same kind of process. It should be easy enough.”

You managed to get a little further in the second problem, but your lovestruck mind would not stop focusing back on Sokka every time you tried to do, well, anything. Curse him and his perfect arms, and eyes, and hairstyle, and everything.

You shook your head and set the pencil down once more, letting loose a frustrated sigh. “I don’t know what’s gotten into me.” Yes, you did. “I just can’t focus at all.” Because of you. You picked up your cup once more and took a sip, hoping it would do something to get you back into the math state of mind.

Sokka frowned once more as he put the back of his hand against your forehead. “God, you’re hot.” You nearly choked on your coffee as your eyes practically bulged out of their sockets — he had to know what he was doing by now — how could he not? “Like, you’re completely burning up. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine, I swear— I just…” you set your cup down on the table and heaved a sigh that was a touch more exasperated than necessary. “Are you telling me you seriously haven’t noticed? Like, not a single thing this whole year?”

“I’ve noticed a lot of things this year,” he chuckled. “It’s kind of our whole job, so you’re gonna have to be a lot more specific.”

You finally couldn’t hold it in anymore. “Sokka, I’m not— I’m not sick! Haven’t you noticed that I’m only ever flustered, or running into things, or forgetting info, or— or just a complete idiot when I’m around you? I like you, like, a lot, and I have for an embarrassingly long time! The reason I can’t focus is because I am hopelessly attracted to you in every single way.”

His brows creased for a moment and you clamped your mouth shut, worried that you had just ruined everything. It was only after a pause that felt like a century that he finally responded, the hint of a smirk on his lips.

“Well, why didn’t you just say something?”

You stared at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in pure surprise before the annoyance set in. You set your jaw as your brows furrowed and you hit him lightly on the side of his arm with the back of your palm. “You can’t be serious! You— you’ve gotta be messing with me by now. I really can’t believe that you can be that smart but this oblivious!”

He finally let the grin play across his lips in full force and he shrugged nonchalantly. “I mean, I don’t know how you don’t expect me to mess with you when you scrunch up your face all cute like that every time you get mad. Besides, I started liking you after that fifth class; I offered to help you out so I could spend more time with you! I didn’t realize you felt the same way. I kinda just enjoyed the free coffee and getting to look at you all the time.”

“I can’t believe you!” you cried as you hit his other arm. “You’re telling me that I had to deal with this- this mental turmoil about whether you liked me back, while you were just enjoying the free eye candy and coffee the whole time?”

“You have nothing to worry about! I enjoyed the company far more than the coffee,” he joked, a certain twinkle in his eye. “But, you are probably out a couple twenties after all of that. So, what do you say about this Saturday, the cafe by the shoe store? My treat.”

“Damn right it’s your treat,” you shot back, though you couldn’t stop the smile forming on your face. “You owe me a lot — you have to make up for those coffees and all the emotional distress you caused.”

“Oh, I think I’ll have plenty of time to make up for lost time. After all, we do have a lot of coffee dates to get through.” And when he winked at you just like that first day, you remembered just how impossible it was to be angry at Sokka. “But first, we kinda have to get through this study date. The final’s still happening tomorrow.”

You responded with a raised brow. “This is a study date?”

Sokka shrugged and grinned. “They’ve all been study dates. You just didn’t know it.”

-

idiots in love idiots in love idiots In LOVe

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

atla: @marianne1806

[sicksucculentz]

Non AU Ninjago fan fiction.

Nindroid fear.

It’s a pretty normal day when it comes to being a ninja. It’s pretty mundane dealing with a small gang causing problems in the village of stix. The team has split up to cover more ground so each ninja is sort of on their own. Despite being on their own they have elemental signals to call for help if so needed. Zane had just finished helping a young woman. He dusted his hands off with a frustrated huff. In the gental voice he spoke to the young woman as he turned around. “Are you ok mam?” Zane asked. He slowlly approached holding his hand out to help her up. The response he recived was NOT what he was expecting. The unnamed woman let out a brief shriek using her legs to kick at Zane. She scrambled away from him with a look of terror. “Im sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you!” Zane apologized.

The young woman appeared to regret her actions. She sucked her lips in and folded her knees up to her chest, hugging her arms around her legs. “….sorry…..im….petrified of nindroids….” She said in a soft voice. That hurt, that stung somewhere in Zane’s chest. He couldn’t help what he is, he is what the universe made him. “….mm…can I ask why?” Zane asked tilting his head a little bit. “….im sure a lot of nindroids are fantastic. You put your life on the line for us but….I can’t trust a nindroid after what happened at borg tower” she recounted. She’s talking about the mass produced nindroids that had been created to serve the overlord. “Nindroids are huge!! Made of metal! Im small….and soft….nindroids could easily just lose humanity like they did that day” she sounded scared but ashamed of the words coming out of her mouth.

Zane felt a twinge of anger but he failed to express it on purpose, anger wouldn’t help the situation. “…..your going to run into people that are scary and dangerous wherever you go and more often than not It will not be a nindroid. Would it make you feel batter if I told you Im scared of a human?” Zane spoke as he got down on one knee to be more level with the unmanned woman. “Your scared of a human?….” She asked. “Correct. My team and I call him The Mechanic. For a reason I do not know why this man strives to dismantle me, take me apart, destroy me. He has come close an inappropriate amount of times” Zane said in a smooth voice. The young woman seemed to sit and digest this for a little bit before slowly reaching a hand out twaords Zane.

At first Zane did not understand what was happening so he only stay where he knelt waiting for context. She gently placed her hand on his head, her fingers sinking into the wirely synthetic hair that covered his head. “Ive never actully been this close to a nindroind before” she whispered. “….your so scratched up…..” she whispered again in a soft voice. “It comes with the profession” she said back in a soft voice. The young woman allowed Zane to help her up. He did so slowly, he didin’t want to startle her anymore then she already was. “Thank you….white ninja” she said. “My name is Zane. Zandle Julian” he responded. “…..Zandle…..thats interesting. Im Ophelia” She said as Zane led her to a more populated location. “Thank you! You have a lovely name to!”

[mklt]

Just random thoughts about mikami and light 

it’s kinda long and so messy -w-

idk how to write long post on tumblr with good layout lol i got burnout from irl problems rly bad and it's already 3.30am here ;w; 

(mostly from my random threads on twitter (hence the weird formatting) and i try to tl-ed from my main language to english (with the help of google translation lol)

These are just my imagination and maybe personal preference (?) please don’t take it personally

Thread 1: 17th march 2022

this is so random but when i re-read death note manga again i can’t get rly emotional with mikami’s backstory i wonder why? Is it because I'm so weak seeing a kid being bullied? I don’t really like looking at child being abused too haha (but i remember someone said mikami’s backstory is like redditor sobstory WWWWWWWWWW sorry 

i don't know but i'm so weak with characters who have been bullied alskdal like im sad i don't want to see a little kid being bullied :(((((((((( let's focus on him (mikami) bein a kira simp

just the idea of ​​him trying to open up with light about his mom and his sad past is a bit painful for me aksdjaskl and i don't have any idea for light’s response too.. :( maybe mikami looks indifferent when he tried to explain it surely mikami said “that's why i'm thankful there's Kira” ? (i’m not rly sure about this)

but light is like  (??? at that time, there is not kira yet) so i think it continues to be like a one-sided delusion from mikami wwwww

hmm, even if they won, I think Light will randomly get quiet when he becomes tired from work (kira work??) (daydreaming?) and then suddenly when asked why by mikami, he randomly blurts "it’s my late father’s bday today" What will you respond???????? alsdkal it seems like this could be the time where Mikami starts to talk about his mother too?

i dunno but if it's mikalight au I think Light actually wants to say he misses his father but he doesn't want to say that he misses and loves his father (so much) idk?? maybe he doesn't want to look vulnerable in front of mikami because he still has to act to be a strong role model for mikami

It's so hard for me to imagine them just blissfully being happy, i definitely remember this and the emotional baggage sucks Moreover, when people who like to write about light who still can't move on about L Gosh thinking about it is really heavy haha

i dunno but in my headcanon for my kira wins au light is reluctant to meet with sachiko/sayu because it seems like he still can't move on with soichiro’s dead (and because he doesn't have the heart to see sayu who’s still recovering from trauma) that’s why he likes to find reasons so he can't go home

i’m not trying to justify that light is a SaD boi But to me, the only redeeming quality about him is  he really loves his family so much (www luv u light So I like to imagine him hating himself because of his father’s death. But he likes to think that my father died like this because I have to sacrifice for a more peaceful world That's why when his father died, light is really conflicted

but light bein light I'm sure he'll change his mindset after that “my father is not good because he doesn't believe kira, he is a good person but he’s not on Kira's side” (which in his heart he is still very hurt thinkin about soichiro)

Thread 2 : 8th February 2022

... I'm looking for drawing ref, then reread DN again and again (yes I know— It’s kinda endearing when mikami in front of ppl he looks so cold and mean but if with God His demeanor is like that >>>>

not uwu but like its funny… he's scawy–! Suddenly he’s become kinda nervous? Less hostile?? Hm but  i also think that when he finds out Light is a False God maybe he explodes and got mad-! btoom! And i was like oh yea thats our mkm alright haha

idk maybe i'm just making an excuse but from the manga’s scenes mk/lt is like.. master/disciple but not as maniac in anime? I really like when the disciple, who's scary outside but he's obsessed with his master! Maybe he will become a softie?!! I like the silent yandere type! And i think i f they have an argument mikami won't be hysterical or something >_>

Even if they had direct contact (not by takada) Light will tell mikami (about mikami killing lazy people) "I don't like how you do things stop it." then maybe mikami looks a bit shocked and i think ofc he will say my bad- LOL but i'm also sure he's the type who asked for an explanation why because he's not that stupid ahaha im sad

Even if it's been explained, I'm sure Light will complain directly to mikami "I don't believe you can still ask me back."

Thread 3 : 9th march 2022 (AU)

If mkm and light live together, does light live in kyoto or mkm in tokyo? But when you think about canon it means they are in long distance relationship :0

Yes, but if the train is 2 hours fast, just the idea of ​​them being willing to live alone is a bit complicated??

I think if Mikami’s position is high enough-- he can go to Tokyo and pretend to visit Light at the NPA office (then when he arrived Lighto isn't there (..........)

Because lighto is busy? And because of his work is that he is more in a private room (because he is more into intelligence / hacking role etc.)

Maybe Mikami can go to Tokyo because there is a case that he should discuss with the police (¿) if the case is serious enough hooho

Maybe they will meet at the rooftop (?) Mikami eats alone ? but maybe his assistants from kyoto office tag along too) then Light just finished with the other team. But mikami can only stare at light because they don't want to be exposed if they are acquaintances (bc for identity of Kira)

Jabsjadsbsh what if someone is trying to introduce them ?? Mikami and Lighto pretending to “get to know better

when they shake hands… Mikami held Lighto's hand tighter and maybe light playing with his finger on Mikami's wrist (trying to be subtle-subtle---) "Nice to meet you– Teru-san" “Nice to meet you,”