#I just started drawing NOW (it's 10:30pm... usually I go to bed at this time)

[blondedingdong]

Me: *having horribly bad mood all day long* :c @g0dp4rticl3: *giggling in the other room* Me: *soul cleansed; realising that things aren't THAT bad* c:

[lifepast]

The house matron picked up the tea tray and gently tinkled down the flickering oil lamp white hallway with a deep wood floor. It was a darkening rain outside, wet and sloppy, attempting to invite itself in every time the weighted door to the quaint bed and breakfast creaked open with new guests.

The usual traveling entrepreneurs and their dogs, kept downstairs in a warmed basement where they received ample room to play, sleep and find nourishment, were all in their earthen rooms or playing cards in the shared living room made of brown leather couches, hand-sewn pillows, and ever-steady coffee. It was to the rooms she brought the tea, which also housed brief vacationers and local college goers, particularly women, using the stay-in as a quiet invitation to study and sleep acting as a sanctuary from the sometimes overwhelming academic life.

It was there that one young woman had found herself, pouring over her chemistry book, taking tiny notes on index cards with a thin felt-tipped pen that she had saved for such a purpose. A candle burned on the rounded desk and as well a small LED lamp crooked over the book. She was struggling with an allergy to the wool blanket on the bed, but it was minor, and required infrequent nose wiping and all but disappeared after she surrendered to the appropriate pill in her leather backpack.

It was nearly 10:30pm when a new guest entered the lower tavern, pulling cash out of his pocket to provide for the front desk and as well preparing to order dinner. He lived about 10 miles away, on a 3 acre property with a farm-style house where he owned a kiln and made pottery he sold online. It was an inherited business and wasn’t his only source of income. He was also a detective, concerning himself mostly with questionable activity at the local train station and surrounding small suburb which housed many vulnerable international students.

After consuming his meal of roasted hen in paprika, salted potatoes, and sautéed broccoli rabe, he pushed his tired hand, slightly offended by the flying rain drawing him into small hostel for the night, through his mellow, melted blond hair. It was time to go upstairs to his room and soon his feet patted up the carpeted stairs.

His room as it was, was directly one room down from the young female student’s room. The young woman still sat there, caged by her schoolwork, growing antsy from having not taken a break in over two hours. Finally, yawning, she got up and started stretching her legs. Now was the right time for tea her mind agreed.

Taking advantage of the need for some air and room, she left through the creaking door to hunt for tea. The tea here was a phenomenal treasure for those often weary students who had peppered the landscape. She was no exception naturally and fortunately our dear tea mistress was already on her floor, just at the threshold, to begin doing her room service rounds. With gratitude the student bounded over to the cart and quietly requested a full pot of ginger tea.

The full pots were only five small mugs worth, but were made in the rooms themselves, and stayed warm for hours over the complimentary burners. So, soon, with pot, she turned to go back to her room. Gleefully, she opened her door, only to find that it was the detective’s room she had begun to enter.

She jumped and gasped like she had seen a ghost when she saw him. He let out an audible reaction himself, and then she proceeded to spill her cool tea water all over her navy blue sweat pants. Without any clue how to react, she began laughing and apologizing. He went to the bathroom to get a towel and she began to cringe in embarrassment knowing he would have to help her, and she was also soaking wet.

He returned and although she had expected him to hand her the towel, he instead knelt at her feet and began sopping the water up. Her embarrassment melted a little, but now she felt self-conscious because of this man at her feet. “I don’t want you to slip,” he said, as he began to finish.

He was a good ten years older than her. She stammered out a thank-you and prepared to leave as soon as he had stood up, finished. When he did stand up he was only a foot away from her face, and he respectfully moved away very quickly so as to not make her anymore uncomfortable.

She then saw his badge on the desk, and his protective behavior began to make more sense. Her discomfort remained, however, as he clearly had some kind of authority in his line of work. He was sitting at the same desk she was in her room, pouring over paperwork. That was when her eyes focused on his face. He looked tired, sad, and bored. He was also very attractive.

He caught her stare and she quickly moved her eyes away, blushing a little. “I should go and dry off, thanks again,” she squeaked out turning to leave. “If you get as bored as me doing whatever you’re doing, feel free to drop by. With this rain I am assuming you’re at least going to stay here until it stops,” he said with his hand stroking the back of his head, noticing how attractive she was to him and becoming a little nervous. “I’m just in the room next door, I’ve got to study for my chemistry test, but if I need a break, I guess I now know where to go,” she said, shrugging. “Oh, what are you studying?” His interest clearly piqued. “Oh, it’s nothing, um, it’s,” she could not remember and, feeling embarrassed all over again finally said, “I don’t actually remember.”

He laughed, and then said, “I know the feeling. Well, if you want some help, while it’s been a long time since I’ve taken a class in ‘I don’t remember,’ I still live like that everyday and am comfortable with the subject.” She swallowed eagerly and said, without even realizing, “I would love a study partner.” “Shit,” she thought, “oh no, what have I done?”

He looked at her slightly surprised, as he had only been partially serious. He then pressed his lips together, took a deep breath, and then prepared to speak, shocked by his own behavior as well. “Ok, do you want help now?” “I need to first um, change my pants, and then sure. Haha, are you sure you actually want to help?” “What did you say the subject was a rain?” She suddenly remembered, “now I remember, it’s actually chemistry.”

“I’ll meet you downstairs.” He then proceeded to push his chair in to leave as she herself turned to change and meet him in communal living room. Then she stole a quick look at her watch. It was actually too late to spend time downstairs. Without having a choice, she turned to him and told him.

“Oh, well, I guess if you want, you could always bring your books into my room. I can leave the door open if you’d like.” He said.

“I’d like that,” she said, “but we might have to close your door. It gets drafty here. I come here almost every weekend.”

“Hm, well what you prefer, my room or yours? We can leave the door open and I can give you a blanket from my bed.”

“Let’s just do it in my room. I have all of my stuff there anyway,” She started to really feel the cold on her legs from the water, “besides, I need to change and I need more water for tea.”

He agreed and said to come and get him when she was ready. She then remembered she had no extra clothing and would have to wrap a blanket around herself. “So long as he doesn’t see me in my underwear, it will be fine,” she thought, “but I kind of want him to see me like that, oh god, how stupid and annoying. I’m just going to act like I never thought that at all. Besides there’s that guy at school. There’s the book he gave me on my desk in my room there, the twelve punches my frequent buyer card from the coffees he’s bought me, and there’s that lingering look and soft warm, wet kisses. He isn’t my boyfriend. He said himself he didn’t want a commitment that would compete with school. Not like I’m seriously considering this new guy anyway.”

She then strode into her room and filled the tea pot with water from her bottle, placing it on her burner. Then, she took off her pants and hung them in the bathroom. Last, she pulled the blanket off her bed and wrapped herself from the waist down. “Wow, not something I ever saw myself doing. Am I going to hop over to him?” Then, there was a knock on her door. It was him, and as if he could read mind. In her puffy blanket skirt, she gingerly opened the door. “I couldn’t remember if I said you should come and get me, so I figured I’d just walk over.” “I don’t remember either.” She then let him in and when she turned to face his back, she realized her bed was basically naked.

He said, “I would have given you my blanket. Here, put yours back, I’ll go get mine.” Fumbling, knowing she was partially naked underneath, she said, “oh no that’s ok, um, it will be fine, you can just sit on the ottoman if you don’t want to sit on the bed.”

“Ottoman it is.” She too, sat down, and careful to not expose herself, positioned herself in a diagonal from him, who has essentially at her knees when he sat down. For an hour he helped her by using the notecards. Initially, it was difficult to concentrate, but soon she slipped into full own student mode, and he thoroughly enjoyed watching her in such an authentic place, he couldn’t help but think.

Things quickly changed however, when she absentmindedly placed her foot on the ottoman, next to thigh. Without the blanket, he would have been able to see straight up her legs. The blanket had also fallen to the side a little, exposing her ankle, and that’s when he asked, “are you not wearing any pants?” He immediately regretted asking. She was too young in his mind, for anything but a kind human interaction, and far too vulnerable. Still, he couldn’t help himself. The look she got when she answered his questions properly just made his heart melt.

“Oh, oh, oh, um yeah, I didn’t have any other pairs, so yeah, blanket pants it is!” She said, dying a little inside. “Oh? Well, they look good on you.” He then said, dying alongside her because he couldn’t stop himself from complimenting her appearance, finally.

“You’re joking. I look foolish.” “You look warm and comfortable, as you should,” he said, relinquishing control and instead giving into his feelings for her.

She looked at him quizzically. Then she realized, thinking to herself, “is he flirting with me? No, of course not. It’s just some stupid blanket. He’s a police officer or whatever, right, a detective badge, he’s just trying to do the right thing.”

She then said, “you’re right, I’m totally comfortable and warm,” thinking to herself, “I could have just used a blow dryer to my pants,” slowly admitting she wanted to spend as much time with him as she could. He was, well he was hot, nice, and funny.

Seeing her lost in thought, he started smiling at her. She caught his smile, and they locked eyes, and that was when everything changed. With wide eyes, he took his hand and began to massage her ankle, eventually cupping her entire foot in his hand, removing the small white sock first. It felt amazing for them both and slowly he lifted her foot up to his mouth and kissed the arch. Her breathing became shallow as he then proceeded to kiss and suck on each toe, and then moaning in a low tone as he began to take enormous pleasure in what he was doing. He then quickly stopped, and looked at her pleadingly evidently sorry he hadn’t asked first.

She knew what his look meant, and the chemistry between them began to heat up even more as she leaned over to get closer to his face. “Can I show you how thankful I am to you for helping me study?” “Sure,” he said, blushing and grateful she wasn’t upset. “It involves your mouth against mine and doing what mouths do best for one another when they touch.” She couldn’t believe her strength and the audacity of her words. “I think I know what you mean,” he said softly, “will you show me?” And she began to kiss him gently. Hungry they were, and soon both of their mouths opened to taste the other.

He spent the night in her room. At one point, her purse on the night stand fell over and the contents fell out. “Don’t worry, I’ll get it later,” she said.

In the morning, although he was gone before she awoke, he didn’t leave for good. Her wallet had opened the night before when the purse had spilt out, and from the wallet fell her coffee punch card filled with the marks of the other man. Next to that card, however, was a new punch card, with twelve punches, and, upon closer inspection, the detective’s number. He had no idea that the other punch card was a gift from another man, but seeing it on the floor, he decided to reach for his own to leave as a gift. She started to cry.

Now, you may wonder how this could be my past life? I was the purveyor of the tea, a company started in the early 1900s.

[ficdump101]

5 WAYS TO SAY ‘I LOVE YOU’

STILES STILINKSI

WORDS: 2212

A/N: This is a long one - I have no clue how I did it don’t ask.

1. “TAKE MY JACKET, IT’S COLD.”

You and Stiles were currently on your way home from Scott’s house. The most recent pack meeting was necessary, but not for you; the deal was that the pack would protect you and keep you out of trouble in return for your knowledge on the supernatural. At first, that was what it was… a deal. As time went on, you become close to all members of the pack, seeing Liam, Isaac and Scott as your brothers and Lydia and Malia as your sisters; but there was one person who you couldn’t categorise like the others. Stiles. You liked him more than you thought you would, his spazy nature and willingness to do anything for the pack seemed to allow him to burrow his way into your heart.

“So,” Stiles began, dragging out the ‘oh’ sound. ”You’re still coming tomorrow, right?” His hands stuffed into his jeans pockets as he brought up the upcoming party you were all invited to. You smiled lightly as you met his eyes, nodding your head.

“Of course I am, wouldn’t miss it for the world.” The conversation dropped there, as you both wondered down the path towards your houses. As the comfortable silence started, the wind began to pick up, making you wrap your arms around yourself. You began mentally cursing yourself for not taking your dad’s advice on taking a jacket. Shivers ran up your spine as you subtly walked a little closer to Stiles to try and gain the warmth radiating off him. Within seconds, your felt a warm jacket being wrapped around your shoulder, “Here. Take my jacket, it’s cold.” He stopped you in your tracks, making sure your arms were pulled through the sleeves before zipping the jacket closed and giving you a toothy grin.

 2. “IT REMINDED ME OF YOU.”

Finally. You had 2 weeks off from school and you couldn’t be happier, if you had to look at another chemistry textbook or algebra equation, you were going to flip. It was quickly approaching the second week of your break, and you were happy to see Stiles again. Sheriff Stilinski pulled Stiles on some retreat after everything that has happened for some well deserved, quality family time. Now he was back, Scott arranged a pack meeting turned sleepover so Stiles could be caught up on what has happened whilst he’s been gone and to generally spend time with each other as a pack. Something that hasn’t happened in a long time. All of you were piled in the living room, spread across chairs, sofas and the floor deciding what film to start with. You, however, was in the kitchen sorting the popcorn, nachos and curly fries out.

“Hey.” A voice brought you out of your thoughts as you began plating the foods. Peering over you left shoulder, you met eyes with Stiles who held himself awkwardly. More awkwardly than usual. You turned to face him,

“Hey, you good?” You asked placing your hands behind you on the counter, eyeing him carefully. He nodded,

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. I’m absolutely fine- perfect even.” He rushed out his response and shuffled closer to you. You had only just noticed he had his hand behind his back as a small pink tint began to rise from to neck to his ears and cheeks.

“What’ve you got there Stilinski?” You quietly laughed, finding his behaviour odd but enduring. Without looking up at you, he moved his hand from behind him to infront of you; he held a black bracelet that held 4 charms. A sun, a moon, a star and a book. You stood there speechless for a second, eyes flicking from his hand to his face. Suddenly, and without much thought, you launched yourself at him. Arms wrapped around his neck as you rested your chin on his shoulder, holding him tight in a warm hug; even he took a second before his arms wrapped around your waist holding just as tight.

“You didn’t have to get me anything Stilinski. It’s beautiful, thank you so much.” You mumbled quietly, questioning why you were getting so emotional over his gift. You pulled back so you could put on the bracelet.

“I’m glad you like it. Um.. I saw it in the shop and it reminded me of you. The sun because you seem to be able to light up any room you enter. The moon because you run with the pack, and act as the light in the moments of darkness we have. The star because you shine in everything you do, brighter than any star that graces the sky; and the book because that’s what you hoard. That’s why you’re smart. That’s what makes you so different from everyone else and that’s what draws me to you.”

 3. “WATCH YOUR STEP.”

You were angry. Furious even. You never understood why Theo Raeken could get under your skin but he could. You knew what he was. You knew what he could do. You knew why he was here, and you couldn’t utter a single word to your friends. He had promised you of what would happen if you did, and to be quite frank, the dread doctors scared you enough as it is. You just hoped and prayed that Scott and Stiles would be able to understand the hints you throw their way or piece together the passing comments; but so far, they were oblivious.You had had a run in with Theo as you made your way from history to the cafeteria, and (as always) he got to you. Claiming he knew who you were, what your family were and all the feelings you harboured for a certain sarcastic boy. You had stormed away before you could unleash the savage devil that was bubbling beneath the surface: with your eyebrows threaded together, your form rigid and your mouth set in a pouty frown, you carried on your original route to the cafeteria. Reaching the stairs in record time from storming around, you trudged your way down them, grumbling to yourself about why you couldn’t live a normal life, about Theo’s dick moves and about being as transparent as a window. Due to your mumbling and angry state, you missed the final step and fell forward. Your breath hitched as your heart fell to your feet, you arms outstretched ready to catch yourself and prevent yourself from smashing your face on the floor. You closed your eyes and waited fro the impact only for it to never come, arms scooped you mid air, pushing you back on your tense legs and holding you upright. Your grip on the person’s chest didn’t seize, even as you opened one eye to look at your saviour. Your gaze trailed from a grey t-shirt, up to a familiar mole speckled face. Stiles. You took a deep breath before swallowing, not quite sure what to say after embarrassing yourself infront of the one person you wish you didn’t.

“Watch your step. Don’t want you breaking a bone.” He kept eye contact with you, pulling away slightly but keeping his hands on your arms. You nodded dumbly, whispering a thank you before Scott whisked you both towards the cafeteria. Muttering something along the lines of ‘there’s something about Theo that doesn’t add up’.  

 4. “I’LL WAIT.”

You couldn’t remember what had happened specifically that lead to you being in a hospital bed with Melissa checking on you regularly. You would pass in and out of conciousness, as tiredness seemed to grip you harshly and never leave. You had woke up by someone holding your hand gently, squeezing as if to let you know they were there. You couldn’t open your eyes so you strained your ears to hear the conversation around you.

“-need to look after yourself. You’ve barely slept, hell you’ve barely eaten. It’s been nearly a week and it’s not healthy.” You think that it was Scott’s voice come from the right of you. Who was he talking to?

“Scott, you don’t understand. You’d be doing the exact same thing if it was Kira and if it was Allison it would be even worse. She’s my first real love, I’m not leaving her. Not now, not ever.” Stiles distinct voice spoke quickly and quietly; you could tell he was exhausted from the rasp lacing his words. You felt almost useless. You couldn’t moved your hand or open your eyes to let him know you were okay, that he could go home just for tonight and that you’d be in the exact same place tomorrow. You wanted to tell him that you loved him too. You wanted to help him so badly. You didn’t hear Scott’s response due to your inner turmoil.

“Thanks Scott.” Stiles voice broke out quietly as a door shut and you were left to silence again. “(Y/N), I want you to know that I’m not going anywhere. Even if it takes you months to recover. I’ll wait. I’ll always wait for you.” You knew you had to get out of this stupid state so you could kiss his stupid face.

 5. “CAN I KISS YOU?”

You sat side by side with Stiles on his bed, staring at the folder that held photos, articles and red sticky notes. Nothing was piecing together and it was stressing the both of you out. You had been at his house for a total of 3 hours so far, deciding that there was nothing for you to do but help Stiles somehow get a grasp on what was happening after he had showed up at your house at 9:30pm. You sat in your pyjamas, legs crossed under his checked bedding with your arm resting on your legs and your hand support your tilted head.

“There must be something missing. It’s the only expatiation.” Stiles ran his finger through his hair, huffing for the hundredth time in the space of 10 minutes. That was it. You grabbed the folder, slamming it shut and launching it towards his desk.

“Right, it’s nap time.” You stated, lifting the quilt on the left hand side of you, using your legs to push Stiles to get up from his position and join you. As you laid with your back facing the wall, he stared at you before questioning what was happening.

“Stiles get in bed right now, I’ll set an alarm to go off in 2 or 3 hours okay? You need a break and I know you haven’t been sleeping well. So come on, get in.” You spoke with a sense of authority that you had no idea you possessed, you pulled on his hand as he slowly climbed into bed beside you. You dived up, turning the light off before climbing back into bed, laying closer to Stiles with your eyes closed. His breathing and your rapid heart beat was all you could hear. You felt his hand carefully brush a strand of hair behind your ear, making you look up at him. You both laid there looking at each other, trying to memorise every detail of each other’s faces, it was a hard times, neither one of you knew if you’d make it to the end of the month, or even till next week but all the fear and anxiety seemed to melt away. You were safe here, under the grey checked quilt. It was quite. Peaceful.

“(Y/N),” Stiles swallowed hesitantly, moving his face closer to yours slowly. His eyes searched yours for any signs of discomfort, with his breath caressing your lips and cheeks. They flickered down to your lips. “Can I kiss you?” he mumbled quietly. You didn’t respond, you only leaned forward slightly, pressing your lips to his. It was slow and you both slanted your head to deepen the kiss, breathing through your noses as your hand reach up to clutch at the hair on the nape of his neck. His slid from where it was resting on your neck to your back, pulling you as close as possible. You were chest to chest, lips to lips with the boy who you’d fallen in love with and you couldn’t think of better place to be. Once you both pulled away, you smiled softly as he pecked you lips again and moved his arm around your shoulder. Your head rest on his chest with your arm slung across his body. You were safe. As long as you were with him, you were safe.

[crossiantgay]

OK, THE FIC IS FINALLY DONE!

This is a logince fic based off of @mizsfathiful's post on instagram, which was based off the song "In Your Eyes" by the Weeknd!

Edit is also due yo @mellowscoffee who helped me edit this!

Anyway, let's get into it!

Pairings: logince

Words: 2.6k

Warnings: pining, overworking, repression (?)

(-----) 

Yet another family movie night had rolled around, and this time it was Virgil’s turn to choose the movie. Per denying most of his previous requests for being too explicit at 10:30pm, he eventually settled on Nightmare Before Christmas. Patton sat on the floor as he usually did, and Virgil was huddled in the corner. Janus and Remus were both not in attendance, though Roman doubted Virgil would have liked either of their presence anyway. Roman was lying against the armrest, despite Logan's protest saying he was going to break the couch and Logan was sitting in the middle.                           

           They were about halfway through the movie, Patton having already fallen asleep after not really enjoying it; particularly the boogie man. Roman’s boisterous voice rang out at ‘meant to be’, sending a particularly amorous glance towards Logan, who was finding it more and more difficult to push down the blush becoming apparent on his cheeks. He cleared his throat and focused his attention on the movie, and Roman’s smile fell. Roman pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders and tried to ignore the sinking feeling in his chest. Virgil looked to the two, in slight confusion. The harsh light coming from the TV and the light above him dilated his pupils, making him look even more skeptical about what was happening.

 Eventually, Roman's curiosity got the best of him and he glanced over at Logan. He couldn’t help smirk fondly at the sight. It was kind of charming in it’s own right. The way Logan would grunt or grumble if something especially illogical happened. Like when the boogie monster first appeared. Roman watched Logan squint, as if he was trying to make sure he was seeing right. Oh my, he had been staring at Logan’s face for quite a while now. Surely that’s creepy. He'd just have to pray Logan hadn't seen him.

            The movie ended unceremoniously and without incident. Virgil brought Patton back to his room, leaving Logan and Roman on the couch. Roman stood up to go to bed.

“Specs, I liked hanging out with you.” Roman smiled a bit and offered out an arm. 

“Your attendance was pleasant, as well.” Logan looked to Roman’s hand. “I think I’ll stay down here a bit longer, I'll try to catch the end of the History channel documentary.” Roman put his hands in his pocket and nodded. 

“See ya, then.” The end of his voice fell flat and Logan listened as he heard roman’s very heavy footsteps head up the stairs. 

Logan replayed the events of that evening in his head. It was true, Roman was always flirtatious but was he being arrogant if he felt those comments were specifically targeted at him? No, it was completely conceited if he thought that Roman might like him. At least, in the way Logan did… 

The sounds of the documentary that was currently playing had long faded into background noise, providing as a backdrop for his wandering thoughts. Eventually realizing that he needed more data and overthinking this would lead to no clear end result, he shut off the tv; leaving the room in complete silence with only the afterglow from the TV lighting the room. He pulled some of the blankets down from where they kept them, making an improvised bed on the couch. He finally fell asleep, despite the swirling thoughts that would haunt him when he woke up. 

(----) Scene 2

            Because the living room was often lit by natural light alone, he woke up at the sunrise, much earlier than anyone else. He grabbed a yogurt--definitely not a suitable breakfast but he could worry about that later--and headed up to his room. He opened his laptop and turned on his desk lamp to dull the harsh light from the computer and started working. As odd as it was, he felt a strange solace in his work. It had a clear question and answer, it was not a game of trial and error that had devastating backlash if you guessed wrong; not unlike this emotional dilemma. There were also guaranteed steps you could take and plot out. It was reliable. Whereas humans were subjective and unpredictable, equations were a constant. The clicking of keys was more beautiful than any symphony, in his mind. The sound was also oddly therapeutic. However, no matter how focused he became, there was always a thought nagging at the back of his head. Glistening brown eyes, caramel curls. A boisterous laugh was stuck in his head like an earworm, echoing around his mind. 

He stared off to the side. The pestering thought just would not go away, and now he’d realized he had been holding down the “g”  for about a minute. He winced and began deleting the many “g”s. If he hadn’t have gotten distracted by thoughts of a certain side, with his perfect hair and beautiful voice, and a beaming smile that figuratively warmed his heart and- He groaned as he saw he had gone too far and accidentally deleted more than half of his paragraph. He hit the back arrow and tried his hardest to push out the thoughts of a certain someone.

It was only when he heard a door shut loudly outside his door that he bothered to draw himself from his work. He now realized the room was barely lit, the sun having set long ago. He checked the time and was taken aback when he saw it was just a few minutes to ten. Then that meant, he not only missed dinner but their daily meetup to discuss what they had done that day; which for Logan wasn’t much. He couldn’t manage to get past the first paragraph, hitting a figurative wall all day. Lucky for him, he was ahead of schedule.So this missed day of work didn't put him behind. He still couldn’t shake the dreading feeling of unaccomplishment, however. He yawned and his eyes flicked over to his bed, but shook his head and packed his stuff to sleep on the couch again, wishing to be rid of what had happened last time. 

~~~~

       "I'm sorry for any trouble- it just the AC broke in my room and your room is just so much colder and-" 

"It's fine, Roman. You can stay here, unless my room has any unpleasant effects on you" Roman smiled, clutching the throw blanket tighter. He kneeled on the floor, and Logan shook his head. 

"You can sleep on the bed, I can practically sleep anywhere" roman gave him an unsure look. 

"You sure, specs? I don't want you to be uncomfortable." 

"Don't worry, I'll be fine." Logan's smile was reassuring, and Roman's wavered at the edges. Within minutes, Roman was sound asleep. Logan was placing some blankets where he was going to sleep, and he heard Roman stir and mutter something. He looked up worriedly, thinking he had woken him up. However, roman had only rolled over, so he was facing Logan. Logan put down the blankets he was holding, a smile crossing his face. He slowly reached out a hand, and couldn stop the gasp that escaped his throat when his hand came into contact with Roman's caramel locks. They were so much softer and lighter than Logan ever thought they'd be. He slowly started combing a hand through Roman's hair and he swore he could see a smile flicker across his friend's face. At that word, his heart ached and Logan was snapped back to reality, realizing quite how weird this was. He stepped back a bit too quickly, and he saw Roman stir and pull his knees up to his chest, clutching the blanket tighter. Logan frowned and the guilt that traced his thoughts. He laid down, with his back to roman and fell into a dreamless sleep. 

        When Logan woke up the next morning, Roman was gone without a trace. Logan put the blankets he was using away and went over to make his bed, when he was hit by a fragrance. It smelled of roses and cinnamon and crayon wax, and so, so, Roman. Logan felt cold tears slide down his cheeks and he dropped the sheets with shaking hands. He fled from his room, shutting the door with a heaving chest. He wiped his eyes and sighed, trying to pull himself together. He didn't care how Roman felt about him, he just wanted this to all stop. Smelling Roman shouldn't have set him into such a state of- he didn't even know what that was. It was completely irrational and idiotic, and he just wanted it to be over. All this guilt and sadness and crying, oh god, he hated crying. He just wanted it to all be over.  

     ~~~~

          He was staring at the ceiling, at some ungodly hour of the night, wishing the neighbor's dog would just shut up. This was one of the bad things about being outside his room, he had no control over the environment. But he would rather have a barking dog over ro--that. He rolled over, pulling a pillow over his head. He heard footsteps enter the kitchen and the fridge opened. The lights flicked on, illuminating the living room slightly. He groaned. 

"Hey?" Luckily, it was Virgil. The footsteps grew louder and Virgil looked over him. 

"Why are you up so early?" He squinted "early?" 

"Yeah, it's 6:30. You look like a mess"

"I feel like a mess," Logan sighed. "didn't sleep" he clarified and Virgil winced. 

"Yikes. You should get some sleep" Logan rolled his eyes. 

"I'm trying, and failing miserably. Like everything else." He shouldn't be telling Virgil any of this; the lack of sleep had taken away his filter and the words were spilling out of his mouth before he could stop them. 

"You good? You seem a little-eh" he motioned a 'so-so',holding his coffee tumbler. 

"I am anything but good, fam.." Logan sighed and Virgil frowned. 

"What's going on?" Virgil set his coffee down and sat beside logan. 

"Everything and nothing at the same time" Virgil sat back. 

"Well that clears things up," There was sarcasm dripping from Virgil’s voice and Logan rolled his eyes. 

"My emotions are getting in the way of my work" Virgil raised an eyebrow. 

"Emotions?"

"Icky, romantic ones" Virgil snorted and  Logan hit him in the arm. Virgil put his arms up in mock surrender. "Ok, ok I'm sorry. Are you saying you have a crush though?"

"It appears that way, yes" Logan went to adjust his glasses only to remember they were in his room. 

"Well?" Virgil asked. Logan looked to Virgil, confused. "Who's the lucky guy?" Oh… Logan sighed. 

"And you assure me if I tell you, you won't speak of this to another person?" Was this a mistake? Should Logan be telling Virgil this? 

" 'course, specs. It's the bro code." Logan made a mental note to look that word up after he got some sleep. Virgil sat up with more interest, resting his forearms on his knees. 

"It's- it's Roman." A metaphorical weight was lifted off of Logan's chest, only to be replaced by growing dread. He trusted Virgil, but there was no guarantee he might tell Roman. 

"Huh. That's- huh." Virgil thought for a moment and Logan sat up on his forearms. 

"What do you mean by that?" Logan furrowed his brow, expecting an insult coming his way. 

“No, it’s nothing. Just try to get some sleep, yeah?” Virgil hit Logan a bit too hand on the shoulder and Logan winced. 

“You promise you won’t tell Roman?” 

“Yeah.” Virgil tried to make his voice sound confident, but it just felt shallow and that only fed Logan’s growing troubled thoughts. 

(-----) 

Logan had made it crystal clear he didn’t want Roman and that, frankly, hurt. It was a blow to Roman’s pride and made that hole in his heart only grow bigger. It made Roman mad, and upset and sad all at the same time. Lately, it had seemed he wasn’t good enough for anyone. Well, oh well, it was fine. He would just set his sights upon someone else, who actually wanted him instead of chasing something he could never obtain. And that, also made Roman upset. The fact that he couldn’t do something about this situation made him feel so out of control. He just needed to put this all behind him and be thankful he made this decision early before he was faced with the bitter sting of rejection. He walked into the kitchen to find Virgil working at the dinner table. 

“Intriguing seeing you here,” He stepped beside Virgil, trying to tame his unkempt hair. Virgil paused his music and turned to Roman. 

“Yeah, just needed a change of scenery” He shrugged. Roman leaned back on the table. 

“Hey, once you get a chance, wanna watch that new disney show, WandaVision?” He saw something flash across Virgil’s face that he couldn’t pinpoint in time. 

“Um, yeah, sure” He shifted. Roman bit back his excitement. 

“Just tell me when, I’m free like all of today” Roman laughed and saw a smile cross Virgil’s face. 

“Gotcha, princey” He gave a two finger salute and slid his headphones back over his ears. 

---

    He heard his door gently open and he turned around. 

“Wanna watch that show now?” Virgil asked as he slowly stepped into the room. Roman shut his laptop and hopped onto the bed, grabbing the remote. Virgil chuckled and sat beside him. Roman put on the show and propped himself up with two pillows and Virgil pulled his knees up to his chest so he could rest his head on his knees. He heard a laugh come from Virgil, turning towards him and saw Logan where Virgil sat. He heard Logan’s laugh, quiet and bubbly and saw the TV reflection on his glasses. He couldn’t stop a smile from crossing his face. He shook his head and turned towards the TV. Roman unconsciously started moving closer and Roman went to wrap an arm around Virgil’s shoulders only to have Virgil shift away. Roman felt like he wanted to cry. He instead fixated on the TV, in hopes that this picture-perfect romance on the screen would create one of his own.

---- 

    Virgil knew what was happening. Roman was still head over heels for Logan and was trying to distract himself with Virgil. He saw that gleam in his eyes that only shined when he looked at Logan, or how he smiled whenever a scene he knew Logan would like came on. He should feel bad for himself, that Roman was using him but watching the dorks pining for each other was more upsetting; and additionally nauseating. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Roman try to wrap an arm around him, and instinctively ducked. It was stupid to try to get in the middle of their romance, and he knew blantantly denying Roman’s attempts to woo him--that sounded wrong, they weren’t in mideval england--would lead him back to Logan. Who knew playing matchmaker was this easy?

----

    A few weeks after the incident with Virgil, Logan and Roman had to meet up to discuss plans for the new video. Logan’s sleep cycle was grossly out of whack, so 8pm was a good time for them to meet up. Additionally, Roman’s room had essentially become an oven at all other hours of the day, so it was the only time that really worked. Roman had repeatedly asked if they could do it in Logan’s room, but he denied, making up some poor excuse such as ‘it was messy’ or ‘the door was locked’. Roman didn’t want to pry, so he made do with his room. This particular summer’s night was humid, so the atmosphere was literally as thick as it was metaphorically. They sat in awkward silence for most of it, however Roman felt something in the air. The conversation thus far was excruciatingly dull, it actually pained Roman a bit. 

“So with our set budget, we only have-” Roman cut him off. 

“I tried to find love in someone else, but all I could see was you.” What. WHAT. What was he doing? Alarms were going off in his mind, but the words just tumbled out of his mouth before he could stop himself. 

“Wh-what?” Logan sputtered out.

“It was always you. Believe me when I say you're the one that was on my mind.” Logan looked up at him in utter confusion. At this point, Roman had said a figurative ‘screw it’. He sat up, sitting down right in front of Logan so their noses were almost touching. His eyes stayed fixed on Logan’s, almost as if he was searching for something. He brought one hand and Logan felt his face heat up as Roman cupped his cheek in one hand. 

“There’s something you’re not telling me…” Roman’s voice was soft, and almost out of touch. 

“What do you mean? Roman you-” Logan’s breath caught in his throat as Roman gently placed a finger on his lips, effectively shushing him. He brought the hand back down, but Logan still couldn't find it in him to speak. 

“In your eyes… I see there’s something burning inside you” 

With that simple sentence, Logan broke. He felt something deep down inside him crack, and shatter into a thousand pieces. Before he knew it, there were hot tears streaming down his cheeks. Roman gently wiped them away with one hand before pulling him into a one-sided hug. Logan’s glasses fell off in an attempt to wipe his face. 

“You always know just what to say,” Logan let out a hoarse laugh and Roman slightly smiled. “You’ve tried so hard to have me, and you had no idea how bad I wanted you. Instead I-I…” Roman traced circles in Logan’s back gently. 

“Deep breaths, love.”  Logan nodded and did so. 

“I just pretended like I was in the dark because I-I didn’t know if I could face the loss of losing you.” Roman’s expression switched to something Logan couldn’t quite pinpoint. 

“I would never leave you… you are my forever and always.” Logan 

“So instead I pretended like I was oblivious when I’d rather be with you… I-I’m blind.” Roman gently kissed him on the forehead and Logan dissolved into a puddle of his own emotions, arms wrapped around Roman. 

----

    The next morning, Logan had finally decided he needed to sleep in his bed; however this time there was a change. This time there was a very cuddly Roman tucked into his side, fast asleep. They should be feeling the sticky summer air creeping in, but for some reason everything felt just right. The boy cuddled into his side stirred and Logan combed a hand through Roman's hair. Logan made a mental note to talk about his feelings more. 

[tarot28]

MANIFESTATION, GOALS, INTENTIONS AND GRATITUDE AND MOREEEEEE

This is my guide to how I do my daily self work to bring some joy and happiness and better things closer to me.  Everything I do listed below is written down in the same place - a generic leftover half used spiral notebook next to my bed.  

I have a little anxiety and uncertainty and a little moop (a word for when you’ve got sad mood that’s kinda blah but it doesn’t have as quite of a severe connotation as depression does imo) when it comes thinking about the future.  To get super real for a second here, it can be so so bleak sometime to look ahead and look at where I am now and where I could be like if only if only.  Coming out of an unhealthy and toxic relationship and being on the mend from that also has me looking for ways of actively reviving my worth and my joy and I’m glad to report that what I’ve outline below has helped me personally and by sharing, I hope I can help others :) :)

Also just as a note: I use the Universe instead of God, Goddess, Spirit, etc bc that’s my preference.  Mentally sub that for whatever works for you <3

Contents: sorry this is a hella long post but here’s the break down - Manifestation (what I used to do) - Goals (what I do/how I altered manifestation to make it work for me) - Intentions (goals are long term, but here’s the daily) - Gratitude (how it puts things into perspective) - Meditation (an on and off again relationship/the one that always gets away) - How the fuck do I fit all this into my daily routine ?

Manifestation: So when I first started this routine I used kinda generic manifestation and threw literally everything I wanted at the Universe like here this is what I want and it’s your problem now.  That’s the idea I got from the very minimal reading I did on manifestation and law of attraction type shtuff.  I reallllllly hesitate to call what I currently do manifestation but it’s like a cousin and is closer to setting goals.  I’m not going to go into manifestation further but the “manifestation work” I do is like everything written here collectively.

Goals: This is the branching out I did for manifestation.  It’s more accessible language too.  A goal is something I want and it’s something attainable.  Transitioning from manifestation to goals was kinda necessary to me because when I was doing manifestation was me throwing every tiny little want and need at the Universe.  Goals was that but with filters and then elaboration.  I went from asking for like 8 or 10 things that would change often to asking for 3 consistently.

Here’s a working example.  One of my old “manifestation” items was “a sense of confidence in my body.”  Let’s pull this apart a bit.  This isn’t a bad thing to ask for at all; it’s definitely something that can happen.  But like does the Universe really need to bestow that onto me or is that something I could do on my own.  It’s too specific and exclusive as well.  The perception of my own physical health comes from my personal relationship with myself, mentally and emotionally.  My body confidence won’t change unless I work at how I talk to myself or unless I start to praise my own appearance.  

I use a different, but related version of this older item currently in my goal statements that aims to “improve the relationship I have with myself for myself through positive self talk, self care, and recognizing the joy that comes through exploring my relationship with myself.”  This is longer, but it’s bigger picture.  It encompasses mental, physical, and emotional health.  It also emphasizes my part in it, which was the biggest issue I had with what I was calling “manifestation.”  I think it’s ok to ask for things, but personally asking and waiting passively for something to drop into your lap just on the merits of asking for it felt unrealistic.  I think my biggest personal distinction between goals and manifestation was introducing accountability, thus empowering myself to make the changes in my life that I wanted to see.

Intentions In addition to writing my goal statements, I write my intentions.  The goals are more specific to the season or a couple month to a year long period, whereas the intentions are a couple of ways I want my day to go.  Again, this is kinda me empowering myself to take action and decide how my day will unfold.  It’s just a couple of brief statements about things I want to happen, but less of a tangible to do list and more like what’s the vibe today boysss

So for example on a to do list I had this week: chem for mon, wed, fri, bio lecture notes from thursday, final revisions on whatever weekly essay it was lmao rip, and then a couple emails.  This was a to do list from Monday and I have work and class and meetings and bathroom break and have to take care of the dogs and make food and eat the food and drink water and maybe squeeze in a workout from 9am to 3:30pm on top of the to do list, which is usually just classwork.  My intention for the day was to “be productive enough to prepare for tomorrow.”  This is a way to say do the bare minimum and feel better about it.  Another intention I had was to “recognize and when I need a break and give myself the rest time I need to be productive.”  Another way of justifying slacking off occaisionally but giving it an elevated purpose through the wording.  It also makes me feel like shameful about not getting everything I planned to do in one day because I carried out my intentions.

Gratitude! This is my absolute favorite part of my routine!  It brings everything home for me and I can really draw attention to all the mundane disguised positivity in my life that might go unnoticed or underappreciated otherwise.  This one is so simple.  I start by writing “I’m grateful:” and then just list whatever comes to mind easily.  

If it’s hard at first, make sure you’re not overthinking.  When I introduced this into my routine I would almost talk myself out of the stupid things, but I think that’s where a lot of my small, daily joy comes from.  Yesterday was cold and rainy and that’s my favorite weather so I wrote “rainy and cold” on my list and I think I put sweatpants on their too.  Don’t overthink it and don’t force it and just start doing it.

Here’s some research for the benefits if you don’t want to listen to me, please listen to the science, more of the science and a little more.  If these links don’t work- sorry but they’re random articles I found from google scholar after searching gratitude journaling.  SO much evidence out there 

Meditation This is my long lost love.  I feel like I never have the time and I’m fighting to put her back into my routine.  It makes me feel great and settles me into my body.  More posts to come if when I get back at it.  If anyone has techniques or guided mediation recommendations omg let me know.  I use a couple podcasts, one is purely guided mediations because they’re like 5 or 10 mins each and I’m short on time a lot.  The other is called nothing much happens and it’s just like bedtime stories about mundane routines and not strict mediation, but I love them.

My daily routine and how I make this work for me and don’t give up: My first rule is that if I’m not in the mood, I simply do NOT.  Like days where shit sucks is different from days where you feel like you’re breaking down and it physically hurts to think about the future or your goals because everything is so hard.  I get that and I treat myself like an adult and know that not doing it one day won’t be an issue as long as I make sure I do it the next day.

In the morning, I think about my schedule.  What is today and what is the best way to approach what I have going on?  What is the best way to direct my energy?  This is intention time :) And then this is where I’m trying to add meditation back in but I really suck at morning time management and I’m trying to use the time to work out before my day gets started.  We’ll see lol I’ll prob add it in at the end of my day to help me get to sleep feeling a little more settled and comfy in my own body and mind.

I try to keep my intentions in mind during the day.  Sometimes it happens, sometimes not.  It’s ok because I did them and I thought about it at least one time during the day for it’s own special, dedicated amount of time.

After I’m completely done for the day, I go what the fuck am I doing on this planet, how can I improve my existence, what do I see happening for myself? Under my intentions, I write my big three goalssss.  Something for my own healthy, something for my career and academics, and something to kinda talk about my meant to be, forever home of person that I’m trying to attract.  Self-career-social kinda triangle of goals.

Under my goals, I zoom in on everything that went great.  The last thing I write down for the day is gratitude so that even if I get a little stressed about not following my intentions too well or not making a lot of progress towards my big picture goals, I can look at today and go I had a great cup of hot chocolate and binged AHS though and I don’t regret it because it made me so happy that I wrote it down.

The end thanks for reading this incredibly long post.  I love these long posts where I can just go on about what I do :) I really hope this helps someone who doesn’t vibe with what they’re seeing in their skimming over of law of attraction and manifestation stuff.  Fuck that and do you.  Sending so much love to y’all <3 L :)

[snowgloberoundandround]

Tagged by @hpfangirl13 !!! (HAPPY MAGNUM FINALE DAY, GIRL!!!!!!!!!!) *raises a glass*

What is the colour of your hairbrush? Black and teal, and then I also have a blue Olaf one

Name a food you never eat? Green beans are the devil’s vegatable.

Are you typically too warm or too cold? Always too cold

What were you doing 45 minutes ago? Singing through Kacey Musgrave’s “Golden Hour” album in the shower

What is your favourite candy bar? Butterfingers

Have you ever been to a professional sports event? Baseball lots (which I love) and one or two hockey games. Someday I’ll make it to a soccer match...

What is the last thing you said out loud? “By themself”

What is your favourite ice cream? Rainbow Sherbert and Mint Chocolate Chip

What was the last thing you had to drink? Starbuck’s pink drink

Do you like your wallet? LOVE it. It’s a Beauty and the Beast design from Loungefly

What was the last thing you ate? Salad

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Gosh I wish

The last sporting event you watched? Marble Olympics. My family (including my cat) has been fixated on it this quarantine

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn? @emberslovesthearmadillo makes the most AMAZING cheesy garlic popcorn and wE GET TO DO MOVIE NIGHTS AGAIN REAL SOON IMMA STRAIGHT UP CRY OVER HERE

Who is the last person you sent a text message to? One of the vets at work

Ever go camping? About once a year and we were supposed to go at the end of May but that’s not happening :c

Do you take vitamins? So many, unfortunately

Do you go to church every Sunday? I try to, but sometimes my chronic fatigue is real bad and I’ve gotta stay home and rest after a long work week, but we have a livestream so I almost always watch that if I’m resting at home.

Do you have a tan? I most definitely do not but it’s finally getting warm so I am READY (I’m gonna burn so hard)

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza? Chinese food! I’m Asian at heart

Do you drink your soda with a straw? That would imply that I drink soda

What colour socks do you usually wear? The brighter, the better! My favorite socks to wear to work though have syringes and stethoscopes and various organs all over them though

Do you ever drive above the speed limit? SWEATS I try not to but I definitely do

What terrifies you? Got attacked by wasps one time and that was a real bad time

Look to your left, what do you see? My iPad that is blankly begging me to stop procrastinating on drawing mom’s present

What chore do you hate? Loading the dishwasher. Slimy food? HATE it

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? Tinkerbell from OUAT

What’s your favourite soda? Again, bold of you to assume I drink soda

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thru? I’d go in if I could but alas, desperate times

Who’s the last person you talked to? My mom

Favourite cut of beef? Cheeseburger

Last song you listened to? Butterflies by Kacey Musgraves

Last book you read? The Mysterious Benedict Society and the Riddle of Ages

Favourite day of the week? Friday because Magnum and Blue Bloods!!!

Can you say the alphabet backwards? Yes but I’d have to mentally say it forward in between every letter to remember the order

How do you like your coffee? Loooove me a caramel macchiato or caramel frappuccino

Favourite pair of shoes? Definitely my thigh-high suede boots

The time you normally go to bed? Well two nights ago it was 7pm and last night it was 10:30pm and I’d say somewhere between the two is normal

The time you normally get up? 6 on work day, but if I’ve been off for several days in a row I start pushing 9

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunsets, but I treasure the moments I see the sunrise

How many blankets on your bed? Ummmm I think I have ten right now. I’m constantly shamed in my household for hoarding all the blankets.

Describe your kitchen plates: Green plates with apples are the staple kitchen ware, but we have red ones we use a lot too. Minimalistic white ones for the nights my brother decides to go master chef

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage? I consider black coffee to be hard liquor

Do you play cards? My family FEARS my prowess at Dutch Blitz. It gets REAL up in here

What colour is your car? The fact that the paint is legally called “space gray” may or may not have been influencing factor in my purchasing of the vehicle in question. (I also fondly call it the Millenial Falcon)

Can you change a tire? Mmm probably in a pinch

Your favourite province? I’ve only been to British Columbia but I do love it

Favourite job you’ve ever had? What I do now! Surgical Vet Assistant

How did you get your biggest scar? I’ve got a six inch vertical incision below my belly button where they pulled 2.7 liters of fluid out of my abdomen, as one does

What did you do today that made someone else happy? I told a golden retriever she was a good girl and she stuck her nose in my face waiting for me to say it again

Tagging any one who wants to do it! Tag me so I can see your answers too! ^^

[kpopmultifan127]

That Lonely Troll Ch. 2 (WayV XiaoJun)

                               Click Here for Chapter One

                                                  CHAPTER 2

I always hated walking home late at night, the darkness was never my best friend ever since I was little. My dad would lock up me and my sister in the closet when we were naughty, and I hated the darkness after that. As we kept walking, I couldn’t help but feel nervous each time I took a step. Not because I was around XiaoJun but just memories being brought back up from being in the dark. Xiaojun noticed how nervous I was walking in the dark and stopped in his tracks. “Dee are you ok?” He asked. I couldn’t hide my fear it was pretty obvious that I was scared. “To be honest. No I’m not ok...I don’t like walking in the dark. I’m actually afraid of the dark.” I told him. He then asks “Why?” So then I told him what had happened when I was little and he felt bad about it all.

“Here!” He said holding out his arm. “You can hold my arm if you feel scared.” Without hesitation, I grabbed his arm and began walking again with him. With every sound that was made as we walked I gripped his arm tighter and tighter. He would just look at me with a smile and continued to walk. I looked down and noticed my shoelace wasn’t tied so I stopped to bend down and tie is while he stood there and waited for me. I then heard a loud bang behind me and quickly curled up into a ball and started to cry. He then quickly bent down and grabbed me by the shoulders “Hey! Dee! Dee! It’s ok. It was only a cat jumping on a trash can. You’re ok.” He told me trying to get me to calm down. I looked up at him with tears in my eyes and more so I was now embarrassed because he saw me crying over nothing. I quickly put my head back down because I was too embarrassed to look at him. “Hey you’re ok. I’m right here.” As he tried to get my head to look up at him. “I’m too embarrassed to look at you right now.” I told him. With a giggle he helped me get up, “Don’t worry. People have their fears, there’s nothing you can do about it. But I’m here so you’re safe. Come on you’re almost home” We continued to walk and got to my front gate of the building I lived in.

“Thank you for walking me home.” I said to him. And with his amazing smile, “Don’t mention it. If you’re ever at school late and need someone to walk with you give me a call.” And he then reached out to grab my phone and put his number in. He then labels it in my phone The Nightwalker. As he gave me back my phone I saw it and giggled. “The Nightwalker?” I asked him. He giggled. “It’s perfect right?” As he texted his phone so he could have my number as well. I watched him what he labeled me as...My Secret Keeper. I smiled, “What if you’re sleeping? I don’t want to bother you.” he then looked at me as he shook his head, “Don’t worry you won’t bother me. I’m a late sleeper. So call me anytime if you need me to walk you home.” We said our goodbyes and I watched him walk away to his building which was 3 buildings over from mine.

I jumped on my bed with a huge smile staring at the ceiling and just thinking about what had happened. But kind of snapped into reality and sat right back up. Dee don’t think anything of what just happened tonight. He was just being nice and you live along the way to his house. It could’ve been anyone. The next day came and I got ready for school. When I came out I saw him standing there, I kind of flinched when I turned around after closing the gate.

“OH MY GOD! You scared me!” I screeched. He then lets out a little giggle, “I’m always scaring you I’m sorry.” I looked at him and asked, “Wait what are you doing out here so early? Do you normally go to school this early?” He then replied, “Yes, because I can draw before school starts. And now that I know you live near me I thought we could walk together.” I smiled and started walking to school with him.

“Thank you again for last night” I told him. “I normally never leave school that late. But since I’ve been working on my project I’ve been leaving late.” He felt guilty and said, “It was kind of my fault that you stayed late too, I kinda distracted you and didn’t realize what time it was” We continued to walk and as we got closer I noticed Bri standing outside the school gate as if she were waiting for him. I then quickly said, “Thanks for walking with me I’ll see you around.” and before I let him answer I quickly walked away. Noticing Bri standing there and she sees me “Morning, lonely troll.” She says with a laugh. I continued to walk to my class and finished my project.

When I got to my class I sat down and wanted to cry. I should’ve known better he’s with Bri, and he was only being nice to me because I was the only one that knew his secret. He probably thinks that if he isn’t nice to me I’ll tell everyone his secret. I couldn’t help but be so jealous of her, it made me hate her more. But she looked 10 times better than I did. As school started I needed to focus on my work more. When I was walking down the hallway I saw XiaoJun and Bri talking together again. His smile was so bright and seemed so happy to be talking to her. When he looked away in his locker I got closer to her, she then sticks her foot out and trips me. I fell and all I could hear is laughs and “haha the troll fell” I wanted to cry. I slowly started grabbing my things, and XiaoJun noticed me on the ground and hearing everyone laugh. He then kind of snapped at Bri, “Bri stop it! Why did you do that?” She then replies while laughing “Because it’s funny and all trolls belong on the ground.” He gave a look at her I’ve never seen before. Her expression changed instantly when she saw his face became angry.

He then bent down and helped me pick up my papers I dropped. “Sorry she did that to you--” I then snatched everything out of his hand and I picked up and left crying. All I could hear was people in the hallway “Aww don’t cry you little troll!” and continuous laughter. After that I never went into our usual class where we got to talk and just draw what was on our mind. So throughout the day I kept getting text messages from him

From: The Nightwalker 10:05 am: Where are you Dee?

From: The Nightwalker 12:30pm: Are you ok? You weren’t in our classroom. I’m sorry for what happened earlier. Please talk to me.

I was too embarrassed to face him, so I always made sure I left school when the sun was up and left to go to school before he got to my gate. He’s too good for me, and I’m just a troll like everyone says. I shouldn’t be hanging out with him, plus I needed to focus on making my dress for my final project. When I got to school the next day he got there before I did, he was standing at the front gate waiting. He was probably waiting for Bri, so I continued to walk passed him and he stopped me.

“Dee! Can we talk?” He asked holding my arm to keep me from walking away. “About what?” I said not making eye contact with him. “You didn’t reply to any of my text messages. And you haven’t been going to the class during breaks. What’s going on?” I stopped to look at him, I began to tell him without crying. “I’m very grateful that you walked me home that one night, and I admit I had a lot of fun hanging out with you. I’ve liked you for so long, all I’ve done is watching you from afar. Then seeing you draw and all of these nice things you’ve done for me is making me fall in love with you more and more.” His expression changed because he knew I was saying something serious. “Why are you ignoring me then?” He asked. He could see tears start to fall from my eyes, “Because I’m tired of getting hurt. Tired of thinking these things are more than just nothing of you just being nice.” I couldn’t hold it in anymore and started to walk away. I then felt him grab my arm, “Wait. Let me say something.” I then hear a voice from far away yell “XIAOJUN!” I already knew it was Bri coming to claim her property. “You better go to your girlfriend, before she sees you talking to the lonely troll” I then shook his hand off of my arm and walked away.

I spent most of my day in my fashion design class finishing my dress. I didn’t have time to think about what had happened earlier today. By the time I knew it my dress was done. It came out exactly how I wanted it to I was extremely happy. Even my professor was surprised how dedicated I was for this dress I ended up getting an A on my project. When I got home, I noticed there was an unread message it was from XiaoJun.

From: The Nightwalker 04:48pm : Please come tonight to the anniversary party at school. We are performing and I really need to tell you something. Please come.

I threw my phone down on the bed after I read the message. My sister walked in, “What’s with you? Isn’t the anniversary party tonight?” I sighed, “Yeah...but I’m not going.” She then slapped me to sit up, “Why not? You should! And wear the dress you made! I’ll even give you a makeover.” She would never leave me alone if I didn’t agree to it. “Alright you win” So she helped me get ready so I could leave to go to the party. I really didn’t want to go because I didn’t want to face him.

“I think this is the best masterpiece I’ve done in a while.” My sister said finishing up my hair. She then turns my chair around to let me look in the mirror. I looked completely different from what I normally looked like. I couldn’t help but smile at the result of my makeover. After packing my things I got up and left for the party. When I got there I could hear the music playing already. With one last deep sigh I walked into the ballroom where our party was in. No one noticed me walking in which I’m used to already. I walked in and saw XiaoJun talking with his friends including Bri.

I didn’t want to draw any more attention especially towards XiaoJun. So I stayed on the side. I then heard footsteps coming towards me. I looked to see who it was, standing in front of me was XiaoJun. “Hey Dee...you came.” He said with a small smile. “I had no choice...my sister forced me to come here.” I said while not making eye contact with him. While standing there quietly he said, “You look great in your dress you designed. I told you that you would.” I quickly glanced at him “Thank you.” His expression wasn’t his normal bright self I see when he draws. “Can we please talk about something?” I then finally made eye contact with him, “What did you want to talk about?” he then got closer, “About what happened earlier and about us.”

I backed up a little bit because my heart couldn’t stop beating so fast at how close he was to me. I didn’t want him to feel how fast it was beating for him. But I then I told him, “Look, I didn’t confess that I liked you to make you feel bad about it all. And I wasn’t asking for anything in return because I know everything you’ve done is nothing more than you being nice to me. You are nice to everyone. Can we just forget I said anything and act as if I’m invisible like it’s always been. And don’t worry I won’t tell anyone your secret. No one talks to me anyway.” Before I started to walk away I felt him grab my hand again to make me from not leaving his side. Then told me, “Please let me say something.” I relaxed and pulled back to where I was standing so I could hear him out.

“Look I don’t do those things to just---” before he could finish he was called onto the stage by his member Hendery so they could perform their song. He looked sad but had to let go of my hand so he could go on stage. As he walked away I stood there for a minute before turning around to walk out the door. When I took one step I felt arms push me into the wall where I ended up bumping the corner of it and hurting my arm. I fell to the ground holding my ankle and arm on the ground. I look up to see Bri standing there with 2 other girls. “Aww look ladies the troll got dressed up for today and looks more like a troll than ever.” She says laughing. I couldn’t take it anymore, “What did I ever do to you Bri?” I asked her angrily. Her face went from laughing to a serious face, “Stay away from XiaoJun. He belongs to me and he’ll never like a troll like you.” I wanted to hit her so badly but couldn’t move because my ankle hurt from falling and I was holding my arm because of the pain.

I then got up slowly and I had enough, “I bet I know more about him than you do you fake bitch” I said to her with a glare. She then turned back at me and stepped into my face closer, “What the fuck did you just call me you fucking troll?!” I then told her again “I BET I KNOW MORE--” before I finished my sentence I felt coldness fall from the top of my head. She had poured what was left of water from her cup onto my head. And laughter filled the room when more people saw what she did. XiaoJun’s performance got interrupted by the noise that was going on where we were.

“That’ll teach you to call me a fake bitch you whore!” she said while holding her empty cup in her hand. I then started to cry, not only I was embarrassed by people staring but mad to the fact the hard work of my dress is all wet now. I couldn’t hold my tears in anymore so I started to walk away and I hear laughter gets louder and louder. I then hear “HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” I turn to see who yelled that it was XiaoJun standing there with that same angry look he had earlier when Bri tripped me. Bri giggling with her friends, “Aww come on we are just having fun with the troll”

XiaoJun then knocked the empty cup out of her hand and got into her face and told her, “We aren’t friends anymore. I never want to see your face again!” He then started to walk towards me grabbing my hand and walking out of the ballroom. We got into an empty room next to the ballroom and he grabbed a towel and started to dry me off. I then grabbed the towel, “It’s ok, I got it...I can do it.” He looked down at my ankle that turned purple and my arm was bruised from me falling and hitting the corner of the wall. “Stay here” he said. He then came back with a small bag of ice and put it on to my ankle. I stuttered “Thanks.” We sat there for 5 minutes in silence until I broke it “You didn’t have to do that.” he didn’t answer me and just held the bag of ice to my ankle.

“I’m sorry.” he said continuing to stare at my ankle. I looked at him “Huh? Sorry for what?” he then sat down taking the ice pack off of my ankle. Then continued, “I’m sorry all of these bad things happened because of me.” I interrupted him “No it’s--” he looked at me and stopped me, “No let me finish...I’m sorry all this had happened. I didn’t realize how bad everything was until I saw it with my own eyes.” I looked at him and told him, “It’s ok. It’s been happening to me ever since middle school. I’m used to it.” It got quiet again as he sighed. “No it’s not ok. No one should go through that. And all of those things I did for you wasn’t because I was trying to be nice for you to keep my secret.” I was confused, he was sending me mixed signals again.

“Can we go back to the party I want to show you something.” I looked at myself and looked back at him, “I can’t go back looking like this. Everyone will make fun of you walking back in with a troll” He didn’t seem to care what I said and grabbed my hand and walked back to the room. He gave me a seat on a table that was next to the stage.

As he grabbed the mic he began to talk about the next song he wanted to sing. “Hey guys, sorry I disappeared for a minute. But there’s a song that I wanted to sing I wrote a few days ago. It’s about someone I met a few weeks ago that I never even knew came to this school. We happened to bump into each other in an empty classroom and this person let me be who I really am. And I want to tell her how I feel through this next song. It’s called Let Me Love You.” He then began the song and I sat there looking at him. As I was listening to the lyrics I could hear the moments we shared and the fun times we had in the classroom. He also mentioned about us walking home.

“Walking home with you was the best nights I’ve had. You may have cried because you feared the darkness that surrounded us. But I hope to be there for you every night and everyday so you’ll never fear darkness again” I couldn’t help but cry more and more knowing the song was about us and how we met. He was so sincere with the song and all I could do was smile and cry. As the song finished, he came down to me. “You’re not a troll to me, you never were.” He said with a smile. “I loved all the times we had, whether it was just drawing next to each other or just enjoying each other’s company. I want that everyday from now and forever.” I couldn’t help but smile at him with tears running down my face. He then smiles and rubs his thumbs on my face getting rid of the tears that had fallen down.

He leaned in for a hug, and I hugged him back burying my head in his chest as I felt his heart beat faster and louder. I looked up at him with a smile, he then leaned in and kissed me on the forehead. His hug got tighter and tighter as he pulled away to look at my face his lips then touched mine. I now finally had the feeling of what it was like to be loved back.

[diary-of-a-teenage-cultleader]

Diary Entry #1:

Today's Date is Saturday Oct. 2nd, 2021. Current time: 11:30pm

Dear Diary and to any who might read this,

Today was a long day, I woke at 10 am, which is later then when I usually wake up. I woke up to a text from my crush after falling asleep on call with him last night. My crush is really interesting and maybe I'll explain more about him later. He's actually inspired me to write this diary to begin with. But back to where I was at. His text asked me if I wanted to game with him and his best friend. Which I'm always really happy to do. It was going pretty well, I also had grabbed my usual meal before we started gaming. Chicken salad on a croissant probably sounds pretty cursed but I enjoy it and have been eating it for over a month. My crush's best friend ended up leaving for dinner for a while so that left the majority of the time up to me and him. We chatted about some stuff while playing our game and playfully bullied eachother as we usually do. His friend eventually came back while we were in the middle of gaming, so we all decided to game together. My crush was quickly rushed off after 30 minutes to go eat dinner with his family, I remembered he had mussels for dinner because he kept sending me pictures lol. So me and his best friend decided to hang out, we talked and joked about my crush as well as just chatting. I thought all was going pretty well and then he decided to leave to make a call and go somewhere. So I just sat there waiting for my crush to get back. Eventually after 30 minutes, I was still pretty hungry so I made lunch. My crush eventually gets back online and we talked, I told him his friend had left and he texted him asking him if he was going to a party. Which later you'll hear about. He did. So me and my crush, I'll call him J, decided to spend some time together. (Glad I thought to call him that before I spent an hour typing crush over and over again 😒) J and I drew some really cool art on aggie.io which is a site you can draw with other people on. We drew some cute characters and he posted them on his art account, and he tagged me too! I was so proud of my work.

Fast forward a couple of hours of talking and being really gay, we both decide its about time to go to bed (in retrospect that didn't really work out and is why I'm here now), we both said our goodnights and I was getting ready for bed. I recalled a conversation we had about whether or not Russia was a European or Asian country, surprise it was neither. Its actually Slavic but that's not important right now. He eventually texts me telling me he's worried about his friend. I won't spill all the details because its not my place but basically J misses hanging out with his friends and I felt like I spent too much time with him all the time. I mean we hang out pretty much 5-6 days a week. I don't wanna be the ruin of his friendships. He was really sweet and reassuring throughout our conversation, but a part of me can't help but feel bad still. I'm trying not to think of it all, so I figured starting this diary would be good for me. I can now spill all of my thoughts to something, maybe even someone if anyone ever reads this. I'm getting a bit tired now so I will sleep. Thanks for reading.

- JB

Edit/PS: in my haste to forget about everything a found a movie and comic called Automata, and binged it. I may be into gay detectives.

Song that reminds me of today:

And a random image i saved today:

[victakestaipei]

WEEK 3 RECAP: 9 min mile, SZA, and The Red Poop Scare

This week was not very eventful. Sorry to say folks, but it’s not going to be exciting all the time right? You have to have boring/uneventful days to balance out the exciting ones. I guess it makes you appreciate them more... But regardless of this fact, I still am going to write about the week due to the fact that I’m trying to stay consistent and make blogging feel like a habit/hobby, rather than a chore (at times). If you keep reading and get to the end of this post, you the GOAT!

Monday: 

I was super exhausted this morning from the long weekend (visiting Longdong and Fulong)... I didn’t want to get out of bed and it took all of my strength to get up and climb down the ladder from my bunk bed. I also was still recovering from the first real sunburn I’d had in years, so pulling on my sports bra and t-shirt this morning was definitely a wake up call. In class we had our third test of the course. It was definitely harder than the previous two, but I still think I did well. Class dragged on harder and slower than ever before... I found myself counting down the minutes until 1:10pm.. and it seems like I wasn’t the only one hehe

At the gym it was floor day/abs. So I did mostly floor work with a matt. The weight lifting area of the gym is pretty small so usually when I use a matt I take it outside of the weight lifting room and do my sets in the hallway/foyer. But, there is no air conditioning out here so I find myself dripping sweat onto the matt and it’s just a mess.  ALSO!! I actually ran a mile today, in 9 minutes! That was my goal cut off time and I made it by the skin of my teeth. So I ran the 1.6 kilometers in 9 minutes... Not too shabby from last week ;)

For lunch Bunny and I grabbed potstickers to go (I got the curry flavor) and hopped on the bus to head home. We didn't feel like sitting and having lunch because we are still recovering from the weekend and were super tired. After I got home I hopped on FaceTime and caught up with Karis and some other loved ones. I wanted to take a nap, but I figured it might be better to just stay up so that I can sleep real good when I finally hit the hay. For dinner Bunny made rice, scrambled eggs, and we picked up some fried chicken from the food stand place by our dorm. I had bought a dozen eggs the weekend before in the grocery store, and they were going to go bad soon so we had to figure out what we were going to do with them. It turned out to be a really good dinner. I finished my blog post about Fulong today, and also did some personal journaling of my own before starting my homework. Today was a bit of a moody/emotional day, and I'm not sure why. But it feels good to write. It always feels good to write...

Tuesday: 

So as it turns out, I got a 97% on my test from yesterday!!! Feelin’ good. Feelin’ like a smarty pants. We also had a written quiz today too on the dialogue. I got a 94% on that. I’m really starting to get the hang of writing traditional, and I’m actually glad I chose Taiwan as my study abroad destination, so that I could learn both forms of written Mandarin. I know it’ll pay off in the long run when I’m making dem big bucks! Hehe (kidding)... ((kindof)).

In the gym I ran another 9 min mile. It was also leg day (my favorite)!!... When I got home I bought my SZA ticket. I AM SO EXCITED YOU ALL HAVE NO IDEA. I have been listening to this woman for years now and she’s finally getting the recognition she deserves and I’m so happy for her :-’) I’ll be seeing her with Poirshea in Sacramento in September. Can't wait. Gonna die of excitement!!! P and I really bond over SZA and love her to death and I’m so glad we’re going to experience her music live together. Twin bonding at it’s finest. 

I miss you Twin!!! 

Sza is so adorable I just can’t!!!! Ugh. 

Anways, for lunch the three of us went back to the soy sauce braised place, and filled up on udon noodles, veggies and tofu. I got it a bit spicier than last time.. and it was really really good. WAYY better than last time! For dinner I was still pretty full off of lunch, so Bunny and I went to the street market around 10:30pm to get some fruit and egg scallion pancakes. I NEED to learn how to make these pancakes at home because they're so dang good. I will make them everyday for every meal. BOMB.COM. Egg scallion pancakes are basically green onions, eggs, and dough in pancake form... sounds odd, but man is it tasty!

Wednesday: 

Today I jumped up out the bed at 9:52am like I was just ressurected from the dead. And for those of you who don’t know, my class starts at 10:20am. Bunny was still knocked out when I was startled out of bed.. so we found ourselves throwing on clothes and rushing out the door. We ran to the bus stop, and was only about 10 min late to our class. Thankfully our teacher wasn't upset or anything... But right after we arrived we had a quiz waiting on us at the do’

I’m not sure about my grade yet, but I don’t think I did so well. I was drawing a lot of blanks because I was still frazzled from rushing this morning. After class we got something small to eat before the gym because at this point it's 1:30pm and I'm starVING!!! At the gym I did a really really quick back day, because there’s a class that meets in the gym at 2:20 on Mon/Wed/Fri so usually I have to do short workouts on those days. 

After the gym we headed to a fruit stand to get mango smoothies and dragon fruit... *REMEMBER THIS* 

I wasn't super hungry because of the food I had before the gym. And then we went home, did homework, took a nap, and watched netflix. At around 9 Bunny and I went to get potstickers at the place by our dorm. That place is the best ever. 

Thursday: 

This morning we actually woke up on time. We were even able to gnab some bread at the local bakery before class. I usually pair my morning bread with a tea of sorts... I’ve been drinking alot of green tea lately, and I really really love the green tea infused with passionfruit. So so good. But, I’ve come to find out on days that I don’t have any tea or milk tea, I get massive massive caffeine headaches. I used to get them alot when I would stop drinking coffee after a few days... But I didn’t think this would still happen to me because the caffeine amount in green tea is so much smaller... who knows. But nonetheless, the tea is worth it!!! 

We had a quiz in class today, and before the end of the three hour period, she sprang a test on us right there at the end. She did this because alot of us (4 out of the 9) will be absent tomorrow due to travel. There’s another student in our class (the Swiss guy) who’s going to Seoul, South Korea this weekend, and he left midway through our class. And then the three of us (Bunny, Nick, and I) leave for the Philippines tonight at like 2am.

Also in class I got called Beyoncé more than I wanted to... Our teacher first brought up Shakira, and asked us if we all have heard of her before (which obviously we have), but she just learned of this Columbian singer’s existence and was tickled/excited to share the news. She then brought up Beyonce and drew the conclusion that I look strikingly similar to the superstar mother of three. I can admit it is quite the compliment, but Lord knows she only thinks this because we are both lightskin, tall women. Hooray for racial insensitivity!!!

At the gym it was leg day once again (it’s Thursday, duh!). I ended up running a 8:40 mile! I definitely shaved off some seconds. SO Proud. Drenched in sweat!

For lunch we went back to that Malaysian place with the sweet lady who showed us pictures of her 8month old grandson. I love her. I ordered the hot/sour Chicken with potato wedges... so incredibly bomb. 

Bunny and I went home after lunch and packed for our trip to the Philippines this weekend, as well as napped. I went to the bathroom and had the fright of a LIFETIME. Which brings me to the “Red Poop Scare” segment of this blog post.... 

I have had problems pooping regularly since I’ve gotten here, I think partly due to my change in diet and stress levels... but nonethless it has only just started to get more regular/consistent. So just IMAGINE my shock when I went to handle my business and my poop was RED!!! I’m talking BRIGHT RED/MAGENTA!!! I thought I was dying!!! Blood in my stool??? Can you IMAGINE!!! I would have had to find a doctor here in Taiwan and omg the HORROR. But when I was handling my business there was no pain or strain or anything... so it was also pretty confusing. After I went back into the room and talked to my roommate I realized that I had DRAGONFRUIT YESTERDAY!!! Which is conveniently the same exact color as my poop. So that was exciting and a relief to realize. It was only that color because of the fruit I had the previous day. THANK YOU JESUS I AM ALIVE AND HEALTHY AND IT WAS NOT BLOOD. 

....I’ve come to realize that maybe this segment of the blog is a bit TMI... but I also told myself that if I’m going to blog, It’s going to be as open and honest and transparent as possible.. everyone has poop probs am I right??? 

Anyway,

We also did a quick run to the night market before taking the MRT to the airport. At the night market we got some more food to eat because we knew the journey to get to Philippines would be long. We were to land at 4am. And we left to the airport around 10:15pm. It takes about 45-hour to get to the airport, plus we wanted to allow enough time to check in, go through security, etc before our plane departed at 1:45am.

Here’s some pics of the wanton/noodles I bought and the really really good burger I had at the Night Market.. THE BURGER MIGHT BE BETTER THAN IN-N-OUT DONT @ ME

I’ll come back with another post about the Philippines!

until then, xoxo

[oshierusensei]

A Day in the life of Miss Lewis

It's been a while since I posted so I thought what's interesting and fairly simple to write.... day in the life, it is!

6:13am

My day starts every morning at 6:13am (unless it's Monday when I have PPA until 11!) I actually get up and ready for school at 6:20 but  I spend a bit of time in the morning scrolling through my socials and trying to convince myself to actually go to school!

7:00am

I leave the house at this time every morning to catch my 7:12 bus to school. I prefer to get to school early and arrive at 7:30 most days. This gives me time to set up the morning activities, get the star helpers changed on my PowerPoint, put a message in the morning sign in book and hide words for the Key Word Hunt. If I need to, I'll copy resources on my way in; I always keep them on the outside pocket of my laptop bag so I can just grab and go!)

8:50am

The gates open and the kids come POURING in! At this time, I'm floating about giving out clues and stickers for the key word hunt or catching up with parents but more often than not I'm trying to fix my PowerPoint because 7 kids have tried to touch it at once and driven it insane! At 9, I start the tidy up music, get the kids registers with a high five & Hello and get one of the kids to read through out schedule for the morning, After that, I get the class into the shared area for Wake and Shake which I lead for all 3 Foundation Classes and Nursery before heading back to class for Circle Time and the Morning Input.

9:20am - 11:00am

The kids have Choosing Time so I spend time getting on with other things. Whether it's readers, maths or literacy focus tasks, assessments, observations or just playing with the children. I also get a tea break in this time so I take that if I feel I need it but usually I'm fine without one.

11:00am

Every day except Tuesday (PPA day #2) It's phonics groups. We have our get ready song where the children get thier resources out and then on with the lesson! After this, it's getting ready for lunch. The kids watch a video whilst everyone filters back from thier groups and I read out the lunch choices. A quick check on the tables that everyone is sitting properly and OK eating thier lunch then I head off for mine at 11:30. Our lunch feels long as we get back around 12:50 to start of the afternoon!

12:50pm

Back from lunch! The kids have some relaxing time where we put on some meditation video and the special helpers get finger touches to draw relaxing shapes in the air. We then have an afternoon meeting, sharing about our lunches and another child is chosen to be teacher and go through the afternoon schedule. If it's a Wednesday, I have planning with the Foundation Team and so we head off to one of the meeting rooms. We go through diary dates and the area plan before in depth planning for the subjects.

1:00pm

Afternoon input and then another choosing time! Similarly to the morning, I get on with readers, observations, assessments. Whatever needs doing but I'll admit by this point, I'm just floating about! 

2:30pm

Time for snack and a story in Foundation. The Star Helpers hand out snack whilst I read a story to the children at the front. This is a 20 minutes job so the children have 10 minutes to get ready before hometime and it usually takes all ten! If I'm early (and lord knows, I'm always early) I shamelessly bribed them with a goodbye song they find hilarious and they watch that until 3:00.

3:00pm

HOMETIME!! I line the kids up and walk them out the the main door. Since our class is in eyesight of the door, I've gotten into the habit of asking anyone who's parent I can see to come to the front to make things a little easier. It's a little cramped out our dismissal door as there's two classes going from there so I tell the kids to 'squish' me in the corner to make sure they're keeping to the left.

3:20pm

By now, all the kids are gone! If it's my day, i walk the after school kids over, snag a snack from the staffroom and get on with some prep work. I either prep resources, get the sign in book ready, write some reflections, complete observations or just leave myself reminders at the end of the day. Sometimes, I have my weekly meeting with my SBT (school based trainer) or if we both agree we're done for the day, I head home!

4:00pm - 5:00pm

Depending on if I get the bus or if I get  a lift, I get home between 4 and 5. When I get home, I pop my lunch box in the kitchen (and forget to wash it up. Sorry Mum!) before heading up to my room. I always change out of work clothes and into something comfortable because I know I'll be too tired at bedtime and get on with some work. With only 2 week of training left to go, this is either prepping resources for my NQT year, prepping some organisational materials or planning for my transition day. This is also time to catch up with family and my boyfriend, James who I usually call or FaceTime when he's finished work or if it's a day off, we have a low key date night which is usually a subway and Pokemon Go!

9:00pm

LOVE ISLANNNNNNNNND either with my brother and James if I'm alive or in bed on the ITV2 Hub if it's been a long day. Always with Love Island Bingo!

10:00pm

I try my best to go the bed as I'm dead in the morning otherwise but sometimes, I get caught up in social media or chatting with James and end up awake at 10:50pm. Either way, I ended up waking up sometime around 3am!!

and that's the average day for me as an trainee in Foundation!

Catherine

[kisskissbadguys]

My Best Friend Jericho. Part Eight.

OXFORD The alarm went off and I reached over to turn it off when I looked properly at the time which read 12:01pm and I quickly jumped out of bed. “Oh my gosh” I said out loud and there was a loud snore from an awaking Lesnar who had also just woken up from sleeping in the chair in the corner. “Hello?” I wasn’t sure if I was questioning him being in here or if I was actually asking hello. “Alright this morning Vic? Feeling okay?” “Yes thank you.” I paused and stared at him. “Are you okay?” “Yeah, I’ll give you some time to get ready and that and I’ll meet you outside your room, okay?” “Okay” I said as he picked himself up out the chair and just left the room. Why on earth was Lesnar sleeping on the chair in my room? I rubbed my eyes not wanting to get up but I knew I had to because we were leaving in just over an hour. Quickly I threw on my plum skinny jeans with my black heels and my black and white polka dot blouse and then quickly did my usual makeup of a brown eyeshadow and plum lipstick before I grabbed my bag and went to leave. I felt my heart skip a beat as I saw Lesnar standing outside my door like a body guard. “You alright Vic?” I heard Romans voice only to turn around and see him and Seth walking up to me. “Yes” I suspiciously answered wondering why now two people have asked me. Seth came straight up to me and put his arms around me when I took in a deep breath when smelling his diesel aftershave on him. I think he knew I loved it. As he let go Lesnar and Roman started to walk off before turning back and telling me I’m on coach B sitting next to Charlotte today because we’re going straight into work and I can just go straight with her into the rooms. I agreed not even thinking. “Are you sure you’re okay?” Seth asked me as he put his hands on my shoulder and bent his knees slightly to meet me at my level. “Yeah I’m okay, I promise.” He smiled at me as he pulled me in again and I was pressed up against his chest. As I pulled out of his arms as he let go we made our way together to the coaches, got on the coach and relaxed. We arrived in Oxford at exactly 3:30pm and we all went straight into the makeup rooms to get ready. It turned 5:00 when I finished Charlotte’s makeup. Today I took a bit slower than usual because the top of my arms was hurting a little and I had no idea as to why. “Vic what’s up?” Lesnar’s deep voice called at me from the doorway as Charlotte was still sitting in the chair just messing about with her golden hair. I turned to see him with Roman and Seth and I let go of my arm as I just knew that’s what he was asking about and I was worried as to why they were asking about me a lot and if I could remember something from the night before. “Nothing” I replied when Seth made his way passed the two other men and stood behind me and lifted the top of each of my sleeves up to look at where I had just been holding. He let my sleeves drop back down and I heard him take a deep breath in before he hit the table that I was earlier just moving the clothes around on. “What?” Roman said as they both stormed forward and also looked at my arm. “I swear if I ever see those scum bags again, next time I’ll kill them.” Seth said as I looked at Charlotte who was so confused when she started to make her way over to see what was going on. “Darling, how did you get these bruises?” She looked at me concerned as I took a gulp. “I don’t know” I said as my eyes teared up a little bit. “Some men grabbed you last night outside of the club. They were taking you somewhere when me, Roman and Lesnar came out and stopped them.” Seth said. I heard Charlotte take a deep breath in and I felt my heart drop and my breathing becoming a lot heavier at not being able to remember this and at the thought of what could of happened if they didn’t come and save me. I could literally see my top moving up and down as I stared at Seth in the eyes. He looked so concerned too and like he hadn’t got much sleep. “Thank you” I said to him and then turning to Lesnar and Roman also. The 4 came in for a group hug as he all held each other close. I felt Seth’s hand around my waist and tugging at me, pulling me closer. “Vic we don’t want to leave you on your own for a while now okay, go on the coach with Charlotte again tonight and we’ll always be around now, okay?” Lesnar said as everyone pulled away. He made his way to in front of me. “It’s a deal” I said back in my usual jokey way but deep down I knew this wasn’t a joke and I was so thankful for them being there for me. I don’t know what would of happened if I didn’t have them. Lesnar smiled at me which felt slightly weird to begin with as I had never seen him smile before but he was moving up in my thoughts. “We have to get ready but Vic you stay behind the scenes tonight. Don’t get going out there and mingle with people, we just want to be 100% sure.” Roman said to me as they began to walk off. The diesel smelt moved past me and as Seth stood at the door, he stopped and turned around to look at me. There was no expression on his face but it was becoming clear that he was really just helping me out. He isn’t fixated with me. “Come here babe” I heard Charlotte say to me as I soon focused my attention on her instead and looked away from Seth who was still in the doorway. I felt her hands on the top of my arm as she was showing me the way to the chair when I heard a loud gasp. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry” she said to me as she quickly moved her arm away from mine. “I just didn’t think.” She moved back and pulled the chair closer to me. “Sit, sit” she told me as she pointed to seat. “Vic, I’m so sorry that happened to you. Do you remember anything?” “No” I said straight away as I took a seat and looked away trying to think “I don’t remember anything after” and then it hit me. I kissed Seth last night. I felt my heart slow down at the thought of the kiss. I couldn’t remember if I went in for the kiss first or if he did, I just don’t remember anything other than his soft lips pressed up against mine and that I liked it. I really liked it. “Vic?” Charlotte asked me bringing me out of my thought. “What’s up?” “I just-” I paused and looked into her deep blue eyes “Why can’t I remember anything?” I questioned her, getting frustrated. “Darling, if you can’t remember anything, it’s okay. Roman, Lesnar and Seth was all there for you and you’re safe now.” “What if they weren’t there though?” I thought to myself out loud. “The thing is, they were and the way Seth is, he’s always going to be right there for you no matter what.” “He is great. I never used to see him much. He was there when we had food and all that and the first time we met…” We both burst out laughing while remembering the story. “Oh my gosh yes! I remember that like it was yesterday! That was hilarious!” “That was all your fault as well!” “I regret absolutely nothing. You two are good friends now.” “That is so true. We are and I got you to thank for that!” We both laughed when her name was called to get ready to go out and do her part of the show. I remained in the makeup rooms and watched the show on the tv in there. I loved watching the show since I was a little girl and to now be working on the show and still getting to watch it was great. Jericho was on my screen and I couldn’t stop smiling. I hadn’t seen him since the party last night so to see him on the screen was good and I was just happy to be seeing him in all honesty. He was fighting tonight but he was in the ring right now talking about his list. He talks about it every night because of how big the whole list idea had become. He was talking to AJ Styles who was also with us on the tour representing smackdown as there was a fight every night between Smackdown and Raw and it would change each night on who would win and of course he was going to be put on the list. I listened as he went on and made a huge speech about him and then clicked his pen ready to write when he finally said the words. “You just made the list” when his voice cracked ever so slightly through the word ‘list’. It was seriously the cutest thing ever. He always knew that that made me fall in love deeper with him and I think he knew I’d be watching this as he did a little side smile just after it and looked right at the camera. Moments passed and fights went on and people won and people lost but it was turning darker and darker and the day was soon drawing to a close. Today went quite quick in all honesty, I’d gone from waking up with Lesnar in London to travelling to Oxford and being told about what happened last night which all happened in 10 hours. The show was soon over with and I was already waiting by coach B for Charlotte. I was hoping that by the time she had come out, me and Jericho would of already spoken today but she came out first and we got straight on to the coach. I hated not seeing Jericho but I guess today just wasn’t our day.

[fitnesshealthyoga-blog]

New Post has been published on https://fitnesshealthyoga.com/deployment-with-two-kids-the-fitnessista/

Deployment with two kids - The Fitnessista

This is my second to last deployment-related post! All we have left to share is a fun video. 😉 I had quite a few requests on how to juggle life with small kiddos while your partner is away on a deployment. Doing the solo parenting thing is no joke, but really once you find your groove, you get into a routine and it’s ok! I feel like it’s worth mentioning (again) that I was very fortunate to be around family during this deployment. I know it’s not always the case, but these are all things that would have helped if we stayed in Valdosta.

Here are some of the things that helped me deal with a deployment with two kids:

Ditch the countdown calendar. While he was gone, I didn’t want it to feel like we were just counting down until he was home. I didn’t want the girls to feel like we were waiting for something constantly and not be able to enjoy the moments. So we talked about when dad would be home (after Liv’s birthday), but never had an official countdown. I never focused on how long he’d be gone, but instead I tried to pump them up for things to look forward to along the way. We also enjoyed talking with him whenever possible + putting together his care packages.

Plan something fun each month. This is probably my #1 tip. Each month, we had something really fun to look forward to, whether it was a trip to Disney or San Diego, a holiday-related celebration (we celebrated every single major holiday and birthday while he was gone), or a show (like Music Man or Disney on Ice).

Take care of yourself, too. This one was definitely challenging, but something I tried to do while he was gone. For me, the major one is getting in my workouts because they help with my anxiety and make me feel good. Sometimes that meant paying a babysitter so I could lift some weights before working, but it was worth it. I booked a massage while he was gone (which was heaven) and a glorious spa day at Miraval. It’s really easy to get into the “mom is the only thing I do and am” mentality because it’s really ALL YOU, but taking a little time to watch a show I loved, planning nights with girlfriends, and being a little easier on myself was worth it.

Do things you wouldn’t normally do. I mentioned in a recent post that we had breakfast for dinner a lot! We also dined at restaurants more often, and for the last 2 months of deployment, I let the girls sleep in our bed every night. I wish I would have done that sooner because we all sleep better! (The rule is usually that they have to fall asleep in their room, but can come in during the night if they don’t wake us up. For the last couple months of deployment, I let them fall asleep in our bed and it was so much more peaceful. Now we’re working on UN-doing the fact that I let them sleep in our bed for so long, but in the moment, it was all about survival mode.)

Put together packages to send to your loved one. We had a lot of fun putting packages together to send to the Pilot. We’d send funny cards, the girls would draw pictures, and we’d include his favorite snacks and candy. Some of the things he requested: protein powder, jerky, gum, good coffee, trail mix, bars, and his favorite sweet treats (Swedish fish, Reese’s, sour watermelon candies, Milano cookies, etc.). We also sent him comfy jersey pajama pants, a heated blanket, a neck massager, and fun things to share with the guys at work, like a drone that they ended up flying around (they just covered the camera with tape), a sloth shooter, and Nerf guns.

Reap the benefits of technology! We are so fortunate to live in a world where WiFi connects us across countries. Since he had access to WiFi (which isn’t always the case. I feel very thankful that they had access to this!), we could video or voice chat through Facebook, and we’d send video messages through Marco Polo. I’m also SO, so thankful to the USO for their program that allows deployed service members to read to their children. He had some opportunities to go to their office, pick out a couple of books for the girls, and they’d record him reading the books. They’d send us the USB cards and the books for free, along with a little note from him. You guys. These digital storytimes were pure treasures. The first time we opened one and he popped up on my computer screen holding the same book that we held in our hands, it was everything in my power to not cry my face off. It was really special. He sent 4 or 5 different rounds of books over the 7-month span, and each time we watched one of these videos, the girls were glued to the screen. He’d also ask them questions while he was reading and they’d answer back, which was the cutest ever.

Surround yourself with support and love to get you through the loneliness. I feel like whether you choose to go home or stay near your duty station (like I have previously), it’s so important to have a support system in place. Make sure you have childcare lined up, don’t feel like you have to do everything on your own, and plan activities with other people who are either compassionate and fun, or know exactly what you’re going through. This is what makes or breaks the deployment experience, and each time he’s been gone, I’ve been beyond thankful to have an incredible support system around me.

Some of the things that were challenging:

– Getting in all of my work stuff finished. Even with childcare a couple of times a week, many times I felt like I was struggling to complete the bare minimum in this space. I had to stay in bed with the girls until they fell asleep (we’re working on changing this), and P is a major night owl, so it was tricky. If I had loose ends to finish up for work, sometimes my work evening wouldn’t start until 10 or 10:30pm. That was for real. Thankfully, the Pilot is home and we can tag-team the bedtime duty. I felt like I dropped the ball a lot over the past 7 months and many times, I was just doing everything I could to create content and stay afloat. I just want to say thank you so much for reading and for sticking around. I don’t feel like I was the best blogger over the past 7 months… almost all of my energy was spent trying to be a great parent to our girls without my partner/best friend/love of my life around.

– The long days. When the Pilot was home, I could count on him to take over for a bit at the end of a day filled with meals, clean up, drop-offs, pick-ups, and after-school activities. During a deployment (or ever a long TDY, like when he was gone for 5 weeks last spring), the evening routine feels you feel like you’ve been handed a 5k at the end of your marathon. The dinner, bath time, and bedtime rituals make it an extra long day.

– Feeling lonely. I’m so fortunate have a great community of friends and family here in Tucson, but at the same time, after the girls were asleep at night, I felt lonely. The house felt dark and too quiet. I used this as an opportunity to watch TV that the Pilot would never be into, but I had no one to yell, “OMG did that really happen?!” with at the end of a basketball game or This Is Us. 🙂

– When things would break. Our toilet broke and I was like OH NO, but thankfully my mom had stopped by and literally fixed it in 30 seconds, so there ya go. We also had a couple of issues with our circuit popping out because I put too many Christmas lights into a single extension cord. Oops.

– Answering some of the “bigger questions” on my own. Liv asked me a couple of doozies while the Pilot was away, and in my mind I was like AHHHHHHHH. Then I just was as straightforward and honest as possible (and tried to not make it awkward or weird, just a normal thing) and she was happy with my answer. It literally ended up being NBD but I definitely panicked for a second.

If you’re going through a deployment, hang in there. You can do hard things and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel… even though sometimes it seems really freaking far away. I’m sending you so much love, strength, and a giant glass of wine.

xo

Gina

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[jonasmaurer]

Deployment with two kids

This is my second to last deployment-related post! All we have left to share is a fun video.

I had quite a few requests on how to juggle life with small kiddos while your partner is away on a deployment. Doing the solo parenting thing is no joke, but really once you find your groove, you get into a routine and it’s ok! I feel like it’s worth mentioning (again) that I was very fortunate to be around family during this deployment. I know it’s not always the case, but these are all things that would have helped if we stayed in Valdosta.

Here are some of the things that helped me deal with a deployment with two kids:

Ditch the countdown calendar. While he was gone, I didn’t want it to feel like we were just counting down until he was home. I didn’t want the girls to feel like we were waiting for something constantly and not be able to enjoy the moments. So we talked about when dad would be home (after Liv’s birthday), but never had an official countdown. I never focused on how long he’d be gone, but instead I tried to pump them up for things to look forward to along the way. We also enjoyed talking with him whenever possible + putting together his care packages.

Plan something fun each month. This is probably my #1 tip. Each month, we had something really fun to look forward to, whether it was a trip to Disney or San Diego, a holiday-related celebration (we celebrated every single major holiday and birthday while he was gone), or a show (like Music Man or Disney on Ice).

Take care of yourself, too. This one was definitely challenging, but something I tried to do while he was gone. For me, the major one is getting in my workouts because they help with my anxiety and make me feel good. Sometimes that meant paying a babysitter so I could lift some weights before working, but it was worth it. I booked a massage while he was gone (which was heaven) and a glorious spa day at Miraval. It’s really easy to get into the “mom is the only thing I do and am” mentality because it’s really ALL YOU, but taking a little time to watch a show I loved, planning nights with girlfriends, and being a little easier on myself was worth it.

Do things you wouldn’t normally do. I mentioned in a recent post that we had breakfast for dinner a lot! We also dined at restaurants more often, and for the last 2 months of deployment, I let the girls sleep in our bed every night. I wish I would have done that sooner because we all sleep better! (The rule is usually that they have to fall asleep in their room, but can come in during the night if they don’t wake us up. For the last couple months of deployment, I let them fall asleep in our bed and it was so much more peaceful. Now we’re working on UN-doing the fact that I let them sleep in our bed for so long, but in the moment, it was all about survival mode.)

Put together packages to send to your loved one. We had a lot of fun putting packages together to send to the Pilot. We’d send funny cards, the girls would draw pictures, and we’d include his favorite snacks and candy. Some of the things he requested: protein powder, jerky, gum, good coffee, trail mix, bars, and his favorite sweet treats (Swedish fish, Reese’s, sour watermelon candies, Milano cookies, etc.). We also sent him comfy jersey pajama pants, a heated blanket, a neck massager, and fun things to share with the guys at work, like a drone that they ended up flying around (they just covered the camera with tape), a sloth shooter, and Nerf guns.

Reap the benefits of technology! We are so fortunate to live in a world where WiFi connects us across countries. Since he had access to WiFi (which isn’t always the case. I feel very thankful that they had access to this!), we could video or voice chat through Facebook, and we’d send video messages through Marco Polo. I’m also SO, so thankful to the USO for their program that allows deployed service members to read to their children. He had some opportunities to go to their office, pick out a couple of books for the girls, and they’d record him reading the books. They’d send us the USB cards and the books for free, along with a little note from him. You guys. These digital storytimes were pure treasures. The first time we opened one and he popped up on my computer screen holding the same book that we held in our hands, it was everything in my power to not cry my face off. It was really special. He sent 4 or 5 different rounds of books over the 7-month span, and each time we watched one of these videos, the girls were glued to the screen. He’d also ask them questions while he was reading and they’d answer back, which was the cutest ever.

Surround yourself with support and love to get you through the loneliness. I feel like whether you choose to go home or stay near your duty station (like I have previously), it’s so important to have a support system in place. Make sure you have childcare lined up, don’t feel like you have to do everything on your own, and plan activities with other people who are either compassionate and fun, or know exactly what you’re going through. This is what makes or breaks the deployment experience, and each time he’s been gone, I’ve been beyond thankful to have an incredible support system around me.

Some of the things that were challenging:

– Getting in all of my work stuff finished. Even with childcare a couple of times a week, many times I felt like I was struggling to complete the bare minimum in this space. I had to stay in bed with the girls until they fell asleep (we’re working on changing this), and P is a major night owl, so it was tricky. If I had loose ends to finish up for work, sometimes my work evening wouldn’t start until 10 or 10:30pm. That was for real. Thankfully, the Pilot is home and we can tag-team the bedtime duty. I felt like I dropped the ball a lot over the past 7 months and many times, I was just doing everything I could to create content and stay afloat. I just want to say thank you so much for reading and for sticking around. I don’t feel like I was the best blogger over the past 7 months… almost all of my energy was spent trying to be a great parent to our girls without my partner/best friend/love of my life around.

– The long days. When the Pilot was home, I could count on him to take over for a bit at the end of a day filled with meals, clean up, drop-offs, pick-ups, and after-school activities. During a deployment (or ever a long TDY, like when he was gone for 5 weeks last spring), the evening routine feels you feel like you’ve been handed a 5k at the end of your marathon. The dinner, bath time, and bedtime rituals make it an extra long day.

– Feeling lonely. I’m so fortunate have a great community of friends and family here in Tucson, but at the same time, after the girls were asleep at night, I felt lonely. The house felt dark and too quiet. I used this as an opportunity to watch TV that the Pilot would never be into, but I had no one to yell, “OMG did that really happen?!” with at the end of a basketball game or This Is Us.

– When things would break. Our toilet broke and I was like OH NO, but thankfully my mom had stopped by and literally fixed it in 30 seconds, so there ya go. We also had a couple of issues with our circuit popping out because I put too many Christmas lights into a single extension cord. Oops.

– Answering some of the “bigger questions” on my own. Liv asked me a couple of doozies while the Pilot was away, and in my mind I was like AHHHHHHHH. Then I just was as straightforward and honest as possible (and tried to not make it awkward or weird, just a normal thing) and she was happy with my answer. It literally ended up being NBD but I definitely panicked for a second.

If you’re going through a deployment, hang in there. You can do hard things and there’s a light at the end of the tunnel… even though sometimes it seems really freaking far away. I’m sending you so much love, strength, and a giant glass of wine.

xo

Gina

The post Deployment with two kids appeared first on The Fitnessista.

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[yvonnezoe]

Hello Thursday! This was the day we were a full day on the sea, cruising back to Singapore along Malacca Straits. The clock has been adjusted 1 hour forward too.

8:00 am Breakfast at Sapphire Dining Hall

We decided to try the breakfast at the Sapphire Dining Hall today as we got a bit sick of the food at Windjammer. It started later at 8am and there were two types – Ala Carte (Deck 4) and Buffet style (Deck 3). We chose the buffet option but we had to queue and got ushered to our seats where we shared with many other people on a long table. The food option is more Asian fusion, like those you can find in a Singapore hotel breakfast.

Here’s a recap of our sea-sick Day 3 and not-up-to-expectation Phuket experience: Royal Caribbean Voyager of the Seas Full Review with Tips! Part 4/5: Day 3

9:00 am Sunbathing in Jacuzzi

After breakfast, we went back to our room to change to swimsuit and headed to the Jacuzzi at Deck 11. We chose a big one outdoor as it is warmer but not as hot as the pools. There were some people in the jacuzzi when we arrived so we had to share with them. Do remember to put on sunblock before going into the water. Don’t stay in the water for too long! 

After about 30 mins, we get out from the jacuzzi to go for a quick shower in the bathroom. We had a culture shock literally when we opened the door. Now I understand why there were double doors. We found some Korean or Japan ajummas naked and chatting happily with each other while waiting for others to vacant the shower cubicle. :O Woah. *cover eyes* I guess that’s pretty normal for them to go to the hot spring or onsen. We quickly get changed and left the bathroom.

11:00 am Boogie Boarding

We went to the FlowRider again as I wanted to give it a try. No, not posting my unglam videos here. Hahaha. But do watch out because I got my finger injured as it got bruised by the drainage when I lost control. You will need to register at the side counter and sign an indemnity form to get a hand badge before you can be allowed to enter the FlowRider. You can reenter multiple times as long as you don’t tear it off.

Afterwards, we just strolled around and played some golf. There was a rock-climbing wall too! Do check the Cruise Compass for the Open Climbing timing. It is only available at specific timing when a safety instructor is available. 

12 noon Lunch at Windjammer with a huge cake

We had lunch at Windjammer Cafe again. It’s special today as there was a huge Thank You cake on display and it was being cut and distributed to everyone. We got a slice to share. We probably got bored with the food and we ate very lightly. There’s food at any time at the Cafe Promenade if you get hungry. 

After lunch, we had some soft serve, watched the waves, and enjoyed the sea breeze.

1:30 pm Ice Odyssey and Movie

My mom enjoyed the Ice Odyssey performance on Day 1 so we thought we would catch it again. But upon reaching, all the seats have been filled and we could only stand at far behind to catch a glimpse. But it was still worth it!

We proceeded to La Scala Theatre at 2pm to catch a 3D movie, Baby Boss. Thought my mom would enjoy it but she fell asleep! Haha!

        3:45 pm Tea Time, Performance and Passport Collection

The movie lasted for 1 hour 45 minutes. By the time we reached Windjammer Cafe, they were almost clearing the food. We only had a bowl of mushroom soup.

I realized that by this day, I have taken photos of most of the spots so I didn’t take many photos today. Probably we wanted to enjoy the experience and companionship more too.

This was the day the Casino got more popular too because people got bored of other activities but never with spending money with a little hope to earning more. Because it was a full day in the open water, the casino operated the whole day.

You may also go to the service counter at Deck 5 to look at Royal Caribbean other cruise lines too.

In the Cruise Compass, there was a leaflet about the passport distribution information. The collection timing was between 3:30pm to 5pm. Depending on our room Deck, the distribution area was different. Remember to bring your SeaPass card to collect your passport. You may collect the passports for all the family members provided that you have all the SeaPass cards.

5:15 pm International Flow Show

We went up to Deck 13 FlowRider area to catch the Flow Show. It was a nice performance by the crews, with lots of splashing, laughter and clappings. Bring along a towel or don’t stand too close at the side if you do not wish to get wet. Put your phone in the waterproof phone bag if you would like to take some videos. 

          5:50 pm Photo time with Gloria

As it was the last day on the ship, we wanted to make sure we treasure any good chance to take more photos. There was a Dreamworks Appearance with Gloria from Madagascar at Royal Promenade, Deck 5. Kids were so excited and parents accompanied them to queue up for photos, so did we. The crews were very nice to help us take some shots on my phone as well. There was an option to purchase the photos taken by the professional photographer as well.

If you are keen on shopping, there will be a lot of branded item “clearance sales” ongoing throughout the day.

6:15 pm Dinner at Sapphire Dining Hall, Pack your bags

We had a wonderful dinner again served by the friendly waiter and waitress. We even took a photo with them at the end. 🙂 There was a special performance by all of them after the main courses were served.

Later in the day, luggage tags were distributed to our stateroom. We had to pack our bags and place them outside of our stateroom by 10:00pm so that the crew can help us to transport them to the port when we arrived. Do prepare a piece of hand luggage to keep items that you need for the night and the next morning. Make sure your passport is with you.

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8:30 pm Showtime “Singers Showcase”

Tonight show started earlier, at either 6:30pm or 8:30pm, starring the Royal Caribbean singers Aurianna and Shaun. It started off with the cruise director, Jamie Fentiman, and his jokes. When he noticed me (and probably some others) taking photos of him, he paused and posed for us to take some good shots of him. He then also sang a song before passing the stage to Aurianna and Shaun.

Breathtaking voices and the one hour passes very quickly. To make the best of your time, refrain from taking too many photos/videos. Just enjoy the performance! 🙂

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9:30 pm Photo time with Alex the Lion

Alex the Lion from Madagascar made an appearance at Studio B lobby, Deck 3 after the show. We were at the last of the queue for photos.

Then we walked around to enjoy some paintings on the wall.

10:00 pm 70’s Disco Inferno Street Party with the cruise director, Jamie

We went to Cafe Promenade for supper and also attended the disco party. As you can see from the video, everyone enjoyed themselves very much. 😀

    There was some lucky draw and Lotto draws afterwards until midnight which we didn’t bother to participate.

That’s all for the night!

Day 5: Back to Singapore!

We woke up to enjoy the beautiful sunrise in the sea. The ship had almost arrived in Singapore.

Breakfast started earlier at 6am for Windjammer and Sapphire Dining Room Deck 3. I can’t remember well whether it was this morning or the afternoon before that a waitress asked us for feedback. I told her about the cleanliness issue but to my surprise, she said this is nothing and very normal. She shrugged off my feedback and walked away. I was astonished by her response. Nevertheless, there was another survey sent to our emails afterwards and I have feedback the same. I hope the cleanliness of the utensils has been improved since then because I would love to go back again.

The casino had been closed in the morning as we have arrived in Singapore.

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This is the pull-down bed which I had slept on for the past few nights. Quite comfy!

Then it’s time to depart from the ship. There was an instruction sheet for departure. The debark time and waiting lounges were according to the luggage tag number and it would be called.

Once our number was called, we proceeded to the gangway located at Deck 4, the same as when we board the ship. We had to show our SeaPass cards and got them punched so that they couldn’t be reused.

Then upon arrival, we had to go through immigration check and security check as usual.

It’s time to bid goodbye to this beautiful cruise ship and the memories of these 5 days 4 nights will stay on. 🙂

This concluded my full review of this cruise trip. I hope you enjoyed reading them as much as I enjoyed writing. It took me almost 2 years to complete this! Sorry for the wait. Do share with me your experience in the comments below so that we can keep the review updated. If you are still thinking whether to go for a cruise experience or not, I hope this review gives you a better idea. There are more surprises await on board! Enjoy! 🙂

Royal Caribbean Voyager of the Seas Full Review with Tips! Part 5/5: Day 4 & 5 Hello Thursday! This was the day we were a full day on the sea, cruising back to Singapore along Malacca Straits.

[mikeyd1986]

WINDWAKER w/ Tapestry & Heartline @ BANG! February 2020

I never thought I’d see myself back at BANG! again especially after all the bad experiences I’ve had there in the past. From being socially excluded to trying my hardest to be a Destroy All Lines promoter (and failing to connect with the other elitist hosts) to rude security guards on power trips, things didn’t really end on a positive note for me. I also was finding that the loud nightclub vibes inside the venue just weren’t aligning with my own! I just didn’t fit the mould of most people who attended BANG! (extroverts, party animals, millennials, smokers, obnoxious drunk people, superficial people with huge egos). Plus I am getting older!

Now at 33 (and turning 34 very soon), going out to night clubs isn’t high on my priority list these days! In fact, I’m usually ready for bed by 9.30pm. Plus I’ve also had significant health issues from depression and anxiety to fatigue and insomnia. All of the things pose a threat to me continuing to attend local gigs especially late at night! I’ve literally had to use stimulants such as caffeine and pre-workout supplements as a crutch just to stay alert and not doze off into the evening.

So when this show came along, I was initially hesitant especially when I saw that the doors would be opening at 10pm. How on Earth was I going to stay awake and focused until then let alone when I got inside the venue? This week I had the double whammy of deciding to stop taking my prescription sleep medication due to increased side effects and dependency.

Plus my roster at work has recently changed to early starts on Sunday and Monday as well as afternoon starts on Tuesday and Wednesday! I’ve also had a fairly hectic schedule with grocery shopping, cooking, housework, appointments with my OT, support worker and counselor and gym sessions to fit in too. That’s a lot of stuff to adjust to in one week but I was determined to persevere and push through the struggles and the sleep deprivation.

I chose to come out to BANG! again tonight partly because I wanted to support the bands playing (It’s a pretty stacked lineup). But also because my social life has significantly suffered lately. Namely, I miss hanging out with friends and band mates. I truly do! I’m learning to take more chances in life because holding back just leads to disappointment and regret. Maybe I will have a good time tonight. There’s only one sure way of finding out.

After my boxing class with CinFull Fitness, I made my way down to Jordanville station to catch the train into the city. Thankfully the class actually gave me a much needed boost of energy and stamina. Lining up outside the venue with the usual riff-raff, we didn’t get inside until quarter past 10. Then we were forced to wait inside the beer garden area until they were ready to open the main bar area. It honestly felt like being herded in a cattle pen and it was slightly uncomfortable until I met up with my friend Jordy Shore. It was nice to have someone to break the ice with.

One of the biggest things that continues to annoy me about BANG! is that they never run on time and tonight was no exception! Heartline were meant to start at 10:15pm but got pushed back to around 10:30pm. Of course some people would see that 15 minute delay and think “big deal” but it’s difficult when you have to rely on public transport to get yourself back home safely. Plus I’ve always been a very structured person and that includes keeping to a schedule and being conscious of what the time is.

Once we got inside the main bar area, my worries seemed to deflate and I actually felt pretty chilled out for once. My brain was still in sensory overload mode though, taking in the emerald green chandeliers with forest-like foliage hanging from the ceiling and the crowd of familiar face. I was positively buzzing when it came to meeting all my friends and band mates. I’ve really missed them all so much!

I’ve never found it easy to stand out in a crowd so I have to rely on making eye contact and finding the right moments to speak up. My anxious thoughts always tries to derail moments like these “Don’t interrupt anyone! You don’t want to piss anyone off!” Of course when it comes to local gigs, musicians are always busy and therefore the “perfect” opportunity to say hello to them simply doesn’t exist. I had to be brave enough to JUST DO IT, just put myself out there and I did it.

Honestly the vibes tonight were so friendly and positive that all my past perceptions and bad experiences about BANG! seemed to dissipate into the background. I was legitimately surprised that I was actually having a good time tonight but I was also very glad that I was. I really needed this. I guess I’m growing to like this venue again and that is saying something.

HEARTLINE...This was the band that I was most giddy to see perform live! I’ve been supporting this Melodic Metalcore band from Adelaide, South Australia since the middle of last year and tonight was their first ever show in Melbourne. Their stage presence was majestic, confident engaging and passionate. Frontman Luke Taylor did an awesome job getting the crowd pumped up and they were equally as excited to participate. They simply blew my socks off tonight and I was super proud of them all for finally breaking into the Melbourne scene! Set List: Twenty Two, Crystal Eyes, Weightless, Essence, Covert. https://music.apple.com/us/album/essence-ep/1478821238

TAPESTRY...Formerly from Darwin and now relocated to Melbourne, this five-piece Melodic Hardcore band just never seems to disappoint. They are lovely and humble musicians with supreme talent and high quality songwriting. The band played tracks from their 2018 EP “Ghost of Me” for the final time tonight plus a few other surprises for older fans. The audience was immediately captivated, singing along to many of their songs. Eventually frontman Tom Devine-Harrison launched himself into the crowd of people near the stage, making a physical and personal connection with them. They were amazing!         Set List: Ghost, Ember, Dark Shade, Retrospect. https://music.apple.com/us/album/ghost-of-me/1353365058

WINDWAKER...Even though their set was on really late (they didn’t start until 12:15am), I was determined to stick around for one of my favourite Melbourne-based Alternative Heavy Melodic Hardcore outfits. I was stoked that they managed to draw such a moderately large crowd for their headlining show tonight. They poured their hearts out in this 45 minute performance, covering both their “Fade” and “Empire” EP’s for the final time tonight. Frontman Will King was as passionate and inspiring as ever with a beautiful vocal delivery and a confident stage presence. He won the crowd over very easily and it was good to see the band send it tonight! Set List: My Empire, The Destroyer, Castaway, Arrested, Grey World, The Sitch, New Infinite, Bring Me The Horizon medley. https://music.apple.com/au/album/empire-ep/1448666181

[mcrmadness]

I swear a circadian rhythm sometimes is a thing that just cannot be changed. Like, some people claim that you can change that at will if you really want to but I can’t really? I mean sure, I can maybe fall asleep and wake up in different times but what’s the most annoying part to me is that I’m then sleepy all the fucking time! And it’s incredibly difficult to stay asleep because I constantly wake up to look at the clock and I get disappointed when it’s still nighttime and I should sleep a lot more hours if I want to not be tired the next day. It’s really frustrating.

I mean, the night before I fell asleep around 10:30pm and yesterday I woke up before 8am, and I remember waking up around... 4am to look at the clock. “Shit I should keep sleeping, I don’t want to wake up now!!!” And the whole day yesterday I was so damn tired it was insane. And I finally went to sleep at 11pm yesterday. And I again woke up at night, but it was about 2am and again same thing: kinda worried if I will fall asleep again? Fortunately I did fall asleep, but I feel like there were more times than that that I’ve checked the time but the last one I remember was somewhere before 8am, again. So I had again been sleeping for 9 hours and my average need for sleep is 7-8h so that is more than enough (even tho some days/nights I sleep 12-13h just like that). And it’s again just 10:30am and the brighter it gets outside, the more tired I get and I’ve been awake only for 2 hours, and I got out of my bed only around 9am so I haven’t been even up for that long time. And I want to go back to sleep so bad now, but I have the same problem as yesterday: I’m hungry! (Also I’m on my period and I try to lay down as less as possible on the first period days cos of the possible “leakage”, so that’s why I usually don’t have naps during period. And can’t just... go and fall asleep on the sofa for this reason.)

I just don’t like it. When I sleep at night, I’m kinda annoyed that I waste my favorite time of the day and I’m also worried that will I stay asleep, because what’s even more annoying is to wake up, say, at 4am and not be able to continue sleeping. Because that means I’ll be even more tired during the daytime! That is why I keep waking up to look at the clock, “do I still need to sleep?” And even when I wake up at 8-9am, I’m so tired during the day that it just... physically gets on my nerves! And I can’t get anything done because my head feels like it’s full of something and my eyes are itchy and dry and my neck hurts from all the sleeping. And I constantly feel like drinking coffee to make this go away but I don’t drink coffee because of sweating and concentration problems + I won’t fucking shut up AT ALL if I get caffeine.

And when I sleep all the days, I don’t feel tired basically ever. And have to force myself to bed because I’m not getting tired. But still tired enough to fall asleep, but not being like tired 24/7 and it’s more like I’m not mentally tired at any point. And then I don’t get anything done because it’s so late and I don’t dare to start doing anything because I most likely can’t stop doing that thing if I get excited. And like I said, night is my best time and I’m at my best and my most creative after 11pm or so. But I don’t want to start doing anything anymore, because if I get really excited, I can be doing that thing for the next 12h without sleeping or eating and getting also really furstrated by other basic needs like peeing. I basically want to throw my bladder out of the window because “not now, I’m busy being creative you know???” And during daytime it’s difficult to be creative when I’m so super tired all the time that it’s hard to concentrate when I’m constantly nearly falling asleep on a drawing or video, or I just... freeze and sit here staring into the void for minutes because I can’t get myself moving. And then getting aware and annoyed by all the noises that don’t happen at night because everyone else is sleeping.

Oh well, maybe I’ll stop writing now and try to get myself breakfast. I just can’t decide between a bread and oatmeal. Kinda wanna eat the latter but it means I should soon (read: already) do dishes and the bread is faster and would be nicer because I’m so exhausted that even oatmeal feels like too much work, at this time of the day. And then I should decide what to do because, you know, I can’t eat in the kitchen doing nothing? I always watch tv or eat in front of my computer. That’s why it sometimes takes ages to start anything because I first need to know what to do while eating before getting myself anything to eat, because then I’d just sit there WITH the food while searching for something to do while eating, because there’s no point in eating while doing that because... well, then I’d have done eating when I’d finally find myself something to watch while eating? Which means I don’t need that anymore and I could move on to next “plans”, whatever they would be...

Maybe gonna play video games today. Or draw or continue editing a video but idk. I’m so tired that it’s possible I’ll spend the whole day in front of the tv and computer anyway. (At least video games might cheer me up a bit, but I also often get bored with them faster at daytime and that makes me even more tired.) Oh but I just remembered, I also need to visit a grocery store today, since I finally got some money. My budget for yesterday was just 20€ paper money and I was left with 5€ so I need to do some more grocery shopping today, since I finally have money.