#I just realized I’m a sucker for this setup all around.

[siena-sevenwits]

Any storyteller at all: Do you want to hear a story about a guy who was never meant to be king, but ended up having to take the throne? And it was hard.

Me: Oooooooh?

The storyteller: And not just hard in itself - there was sinister plotting beneath the surface, and interpersonal stuff was complicated too.

Me: Oooooooooh!

[brandonxdylan]

Ranking the GAY EPISODES of Beverly Hills, 90210 - Part 1

Pride month may be coming to a close, but I didn’t want to let it slip by without doing a little something special. I thought it would be fun to do an overview of all of the gay-themed storylines from the series. There were quite a few of them over the years (although not as many as there were seasons of the show, which perhaps is saying something), especially considering for a show that didn’t have any significant queer content on a consistent basis, and certainly no gay regulars to speak of. These episodes run the gamut from throwaway fluff to pretty dark and heavy, and I’m going to rank them in terms of how effectively I think they handle the “gay” element (spoiler alert: not well), as well as how satisfying they are in terms of soapy drama.

I really tried to give these episodes a fair shake, knowing that it would be pointless to judge them for not delivering deeply nuanced takes in an era where we simply were not getting that on prime time network television. I feel like they still mostly fall short, but there’s enough good stuff in here to warrant some genuine consideration.

A couple of caveats before going forward. First of all, some of these episodes deal with some serious themes (AIDS, suicide, gay bashing), so consider yourself trigger warned. Secondly, this post is all in good fun, so lets not take it (or my hot takes) too seriously.

#8.) Crimes and Misdemeanours (Season 8, Episode 19)

Kicking things off, in dead last we have this dud from season 8, which has precisely one, single joke to offer, and still manages to screw it up. Steve runs into a woman at the Peach Pit, and while flirting with her, makes passing reference to Brandon, his “partner.” Obviously, he means business partner, but when she invites Steve and his “boyfriend” Brandon to lunch with she and her “girlfriend,” she clearly means it, and Steve somehow doesn’t think anything of it, and is all to happy to report to Brandon that he snagged them an awesome double date. At lunch, the two “couples” somehow get through the entire meal just beating around the bush, with the women (obviously lesbians by this point) clearly referring to Brandon and Steve as a couple, but these dummies of course don’t pick up on any of this out of sheer dimwittery and, I don’t know, super thick hetero-goggles or something. No, it’s not until Steve and Brandon are invited to the women’s apartment for dinner (which Steve expects to be an orgy, because of course he does) and they’re literally staring at the one bed shared by both women that either of them start to realize what’s really going on. Gay panic ensues, and the whole thing is played for laughs (not that there are any). I’m a sucker for these ridiculous sicomy setups involving misunderstandings and misplaced romantic interest, and this show can occasionally do them well (the luau episode from season 10 is a fabulous example of this, and also has some fun gay content - more on that later), but the problem is none of this is funny or surprising. Neither is it insensitive or exploitative. It’s just kind of stupid. The reveal can be seen coming a mile away, and the whole episode is just buildup to what I’ll generously call the punchline. A better show would’ve done a lot more with this, maybe playing with the concept of Steve seeing heterosexuality as the default, and being blind to other possibilities. Ideally, it also would have had more than one joke.

#7.) Comic Relief/Santa Knows (Season 8, Episodes 13-14)

David takes a job at a car wash, where he notices a bunch of his coworkers making very boring and unimaginative gay jokes about a young male employee named Ben who lives in the garage’s office due to the fact that his dad kicked him out for being gay. David confronts Ben’s parents in the hopes of getting them to see the error of their ways, but the interaction ends with Ben’s dad choosing to declare that “I don’t have a son,” rather than accept Ben for who he is. It’s really harsh, but in dad’s defense, David has very little tact, and it’s really none of his business considering he met Ben five minutes ago. In spite of this, Ben still holds out hope for a reconciliation. While his mom is somewhat more receptive than his dad, she still tells Ben that it’s for the best that he give his dad time to cool down. David once again intervenes, asking Ben’s mom - a woman who is very clearly deeply torn between her love for her son and her need to grant her husband the authority he commands - why she can’t just explain to her husband why taking Ben back in is the right thing to do, as if it’s just that easy. And that’s really the problem with this storyline. It deals with some really dark and emotionally complicated subject matter, and it’s just so glaringly obvious that telling this story from the perspective of a detached outsider is not the best way to approach it. Especially considering it’s David, whose track record for empathy and compassion is fucking zero. Give this to someone like Steve, which would allow him to experience some emotional growth alongside Ben’s parents, or Valerie, who has her own history of familial turmoil (though she does pop up later in this episode and isn’t much more helpful than David, so maybe scratch that one). All of this proves to be too much for Ben to take, and David discovers that he plans to slit his wrists. This is where Val gets involved, as she and David basically just berate Ben into not hurting himself, with Val insisting that she understands Ben’s particular struggles more than she actually does or possibly could. They both give him the “tough love” treatment which, hey, is maybe not what this kid whose parents openly hate him actually needs. Still, it all ends up somewhat happily because of course all Ben and his parents really needed was for someone from the gang to show up out of nowhere and yell at them a bit in order to figure their shit out. This is a story worth telling, but coming at it from the perspective of someone who has nothing to do with it doesn’t allow for much depth. And it really doesn’t satisfy as a soapy plot line either. Even that would require more of an investment from the viewer, and we simply don’t have time or reason to suddenly be all in on this character who comes out of nowhere for two episodes and then disappears forever. Ultimately, this story is just too bleak and depressing to be much fun, and too shallow to be emotionally satisfying.

#6.) Summer Storm (Season 2, Episode 3)

This isn’t ranked low because it’s a bad episode. On the contrary, it’s actually a pretty good episode from one of the show’s best seasons, and builds on one of the show’s most iconic storylines - namely, Brenda and Dylan. However, that doesn’t really concern us here. What does concern us is the B story, about how Kelly meets a cute volleyball player named Kyle. They flirt a bit and eventually go on a date, but when Kelly starts putting the moves on Kyle, he suggests they cool it. Spoiler alert, it’s because he (sort of) comes out as gay later in the episode. But even if he didn’t, Kelly’s reaction to this is really weird. She takes it oddly personally that he doesn’t want to get naked with her on the first date, and gives him the cold shoulder the next day. I haven’t watched these early seasons in several years now but I guess Kelly’s always been a pouty drama queen. Anyway, Kyle does eventually confide in Kelly, telling her that he’s tried to be into girls, and that he genuinely likes her, but that he knows they can’t be more than friends. It’s kind of cute, and Kyle’s conundrum is a pretty common one. Though it’s definitely possible to assume he doesn’t come out as fully gay because the show didn’t want to go too far, it’s also kind of nice to get a portrayal of a character in the process of figuring out his sexuality, without any clear resolution. That is how it works in real life sometimes after all. But considering this is such a minor storyline and the queer content is pretty tepid, it’s hard to rank this any higher than I have it.

#5.) Baby, You Can Drive My Car/Family Tree (Season 10, Episodes 8-9)

Dylan meets with a guy named Andrew, who is one of the directors of a local community centre for kids, in order to discuss making a hefty donation. Andrew makes passing reference to an ex-boyfriend, which prompts a discussion about how Andrew has to remain closeted among co-workers out of fear of losing his job. He knows that there are some bigots out there who would have some not-so-great feelings about a gay man working with their kids (that old chestnut), and his co-director is apparently one of them. Dylan tries to reason that “hey, it’s the 90s,” and that Andrew shouldn’t have to be closeted for those reasons. Andrew, of course, knows better, and while he agrees that no, he shouldn’t have to, the fact remains that he does. To demonstrate that at least he accepts Andrew for who he is, Dylan puts his arm around him in a playful (yet platonic way). Unfortunately, this happens in a dark parking lot and within the presence of a group of homophobes whom proceed to attack Dylan and Andrew with a baseball bat. While Dylan manages to wrestle the bat away from one of the guys (sure) and escapes with just a few bumps and bruises, Andrew doesn’t get off quite as easy. Dylan’s eager to spill details to the cops, but Andrew refuses, on the grounds that he not only doesn’t want to drag this whole unpleasant incident out any further, but he also doesn’t want to draw any more attention that might put him (and his job) at further risk. Andrew’s fears prove to be perfectly justified when, through circumstance, his co-director, Patsy, finds out anyway, and suggests Andrew take a (permanent) leave of absence. As is always the case with this show when there’s a Gay in trouble, a member of the gang makes it their problem to solve, and so Dylan confronts Patsy about Andrew being let go. Although Andrew specifically tells Dylan that he doesn’t want his help, fearing that pushing his luck with Patsy is just going to make things more public and humiliating, Dylan says that he can’t justify donating to a bigoted organization, and he threatens to pull his funding if Patsy doesn’t agree to hire Andrew back. She reluctantly relents, allowing Andrew to return to work, but she pulls her son from Andrew’s basketball team, and soon enough, more kids start to drop out for the same reasons. As things escalate, Andrew decides that if his presence is going to detract from the mission of the centre - to provide care and support for kids - then he should quit. However, Dylan swoops in with one more ace up his sleeve. He talks to Patsy’s son directly, and gets him to question whether he really is uncomfortable with Andrew, or if it’s just his mother’s influence that’s making him think that way. This works, and all of the kids who had previously dropped out assure Andrew that they not only want him there, but they need him there. All in all, this is a decent storyline, but it does engage with a few tropes that rub me the wrong way. First of all, it’s never not at least a little annoying to watch straight characters sanctimoniously decide that doing their version of “the right thing” is more important than respecting the wishes of the gay characters whose safety and livelihood is what’s actually at risk, and this storyline is a pretty egregious example of that. It also follows the usual 90210 pattern of having characters just badger others relentlessly until they conveniently get their way. Granted, this case gets a bit of a pass in that regard, because the tirade that Dylan fires at Patsy is kind of satisfying, and Luke Perry is a good enough actor to make it feel properly motivated and believable. We do love an ally king.

Watch for Part 2!

[miekasa]

I’m in love with the idea of twitch streamer bf eren

OKAY ME TOO!! Easily top 3 best Eren concepts imo it’s just so good and so... him, he falls on the gamer himbo boyfriend side of the scale for sure

Let’s start with his setup: purple and/or green with a dark wood tabletop. He keeps the lights green during the day or when his computer is idle, and mixes in the purple when it’s dark out because he likes the Ambiance. 

Only one monitor and do not let him buy another one no matter how much he claims he needs it. He does not. He has a TV in his room tho, but it’s not mounted above or near his desk; it’s on the opposite wall that faces his bed. Laying down and watching Netflix takes priority.  

He’s a sucker for themed keyboards/keycaps. If he finds a set themed around his favorite show or a character he likes, he’ll buy it. No self control.

The majority of his keyboards have that super clacky almost officey sounding click to them, and he’s obsessed with it. Sometimes he fucks around on Google Docs typing nonsense just to hear the keyboard make noise.

Puts in special keycaps on the ones with your initials on whichever keyboard he’s using at the moment <3 gamer boyfriend things <33

Always swears he wants to do some kind of special event or thank you for subscriber/follower milestones, but he never catches his own milestones 😭😭 by the time he realizes he has 100k subs, he’s already on 103k or something 

Then he calls you, his friends, and his subscribers fake for not pointing it out to him like sir it’s right there on your screen please. All you had to do was LOOK

If he’s in the middle of a game and he really has a to pee, or he’s gotta go do something, he’ll yell for you, and you come in, obviously slightly worried, but then Eren is just hurriedly giving you instructions, “Here, press left or right to move, spacebar to fire, avoid these, kill those. That ugly look thing to the left is Jean, and over there is his character. You’re teammates, I’ll be right back,” before he puts his headphones on your head and runs off. Now you’re left to fend for yourself, good luck.

He can be gone anywhere from 30 seconds to 30 minutes 😭😭 if he’s gone for a short amount of time, he comes back with just as much chaotic energy to take back his headphones and shoo you away as he did to throw it all on you pls.

Other times, he’ll go and make a whole ass meal and come back sauntering in with a half eaten grilled cheese in hand, “Oh shit are you still playing, babe—hey you’re doing really well, look at you go!”

When you’re not there, he mentions you a lot, because he’s always thinking about you no matter how small it is; even just the design of a character would prompt him to a make a comment, “I don’t think my girlfriend has ever played this, but I know she’d main this character.” 

Does he invite you to play a game he knows you’ve never played or are bad at with him on his stream, knowing full well he’s an ace at it and will crush you publicly? Absolutely. Without a doubt. 

There’s always a very shameless, not at all subtle shoutout to his Instagram in the middle of all his streams please, he’ll be playing a game and randomly it’s like, “Fire pic on Instagam by the way, go like that.” 

His comments are pretty respectful whenever you’re there or he mentions you; there’s a few cheeky randoms who like to make donations whenever you’re on the screen or say some inappropriate stuff, but Eren’s learned to just ignore it. It doesn’t make him happy, and he might tell people to chill if it’s excessive, but he won’t call out anything explicitly and make you uncomfortable while you’re there. 

Sometimes Connie will make a comment about how you’re hot, and that’s definitely something Eren will call out and bring attention to, more so to mock Connie than anything. 

At one point, his subscribers keep asking for more content with you (especially if you’re not there often/it’s been a while since people have seen a peek of you), to which Eren will pout because, “Hey, this is my Twitch-- now, look, you’ve gotten your Eren’s hot girlfriend privileges revoked for the week.”

Terrible at doing unboxing videos whenever he gets sent product because he just rips things open 😭😭 he’s too eager to do ASMR or gentle/detailed unboxing, he just wants to test out the new parts as soon as possible. 

Abuses his spinny gamer chair. Spins himself dizzy on it (yes, while he’s streaming and waiting for lobbies/things to load), spins you dizzy on it when you’re just trying to be comfy, spins the both of you dizzy when he’s trapped you on his lap. 

He’d be one of those lucky people who gets a cool single name user/ID. Like he gets just @eren or @jaeger/yeager, because his name is pretty unique, but I can totally see him going the typical fun gamer tag route. 

His content is anything from him streaming Overwatch and COD to terraforming his Animal Crossing island, he does not discriminate. One day you could get Eren calling Jean a fucking dumbass for not healing him, and the next day he’s doing his best impressions of Timmy and Tommy.

Do not put it past him to build you a whole ass PC setup if you express the slightest interest in one, even if it’s not solely for gaming/you wanna use it for work/school. He’ll do it. He’ll make his hyperfixating work for him. 

Plus then he’d get to give you one of his old keyboards and give you special keycaps with his initials and go on about how he’s officially got a gamer gf even if all you can do is press the spacebar <33 

[theroomofreq]

can you give me muggle jily recs pleaaseeee <3 :D

HOW MANY HIGH-QUALITY MUGGLE JILY FICS ARE THERE?? TOO MANY TO COUNT. *cracks knuckles* BUT I am here for the challenge. Jily AUs are my JAM.

Again, shoutout to our amazing @jilyarchive friends who tag every wonderful muggle jily au they come across. here is the link that will take you to their tags page. You'll find links to specific tropes and AUs :')

I've searched through my own AO3 bookmarks and history tabs, and I present to you 28 jily muggle fics that I LOVE. I am THRILLED thinking about all the good things in store for those that read these wonderful stories. This list took me ages to make because I went through and reread most of these brilliant fics. Happy reading !! xx

properly improper by @lizardcookie

“Marry me,” Mr. Potter repeats, closing the distance between them by striding back up towards the sofa, only to stop and crouch to one knee right there at her feet, looking up at her. Burning. “Pick me,” he elaborates. “Pick me, choose me, love me instead.”

- this fic is the reason why I comment the way that I do (spoiler it's because it's amazing)

The Wedding Ring by @mppmaraudergirl

What is undeniably worse than attending your sister's wedding looking as desolate and forgotten as a wilted houseplant? Drunkenly ringing your ex-boyfriend and asking him to be your date.

- SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY AT THE PERFECTION

Oh my god, they were ROOMMATES by @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world

Silly one-shot, Muggle AU with Fem!Jily as pining roommates and Marlene as their matchmaker.

- the fic that brought me back to jily and inspired my deep obsession of fem!jily

Swipe Right, Swing Left by @downn-in-flames

The unspoken rule of using dating apps in D.C. is that you always start with where you work.

James Potter, it seems, never picked up on that one.

- giddy just thinking about this gem

'Tis the Damn Season by @petalstofish

It doesn't feel like Christmas for Lily Evans, not after losing her parents to COVID before the Holiday season. She anticipates spending Christmas all alone until a boy from her past shows up and offers her a mutually benefiting deal that has her calling him 'babe' just for the weekend. 'Tis the damn season, after all.

- cries in respect for lyrical writing

Watch Me Unwind by @maraudersftw

Lily Evans hates her job, hates the bigoted customers she has to serve as a bartender at the richest club in the city. But the one person who makes bearing all of it worth it has someone else in his arms tonight. (Rated: M)

- obsessed with the way the plot jumps around the time line in this

oil be there for you by @abby10fanfic

Texting/Social Media AU: Lily and James haven't spoken for 2 years. But that's all about to change thanks to Peter and his involvement in an essential oil pyramid scheme. Featuring boss babes, toxin-free lifestyles, binding contracts, and a very oily journey.

- YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW FAB THIS IS

a matchmaking mission by @downn-in-flames

James Potter has a mission: get Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to finally admit that they both fancy the pants off each other by Valentine's Day.

His partner in crime? Lily Evans, Remus' flatmate, who he also happens to be slightly in love with

- DOUBLE the amount of pining idiots in love :")

about time by @jilyss

'sure, yeah, I can accompany you to that black tie event for your work tonight. wait. why are we on a red carpet?'

- this is my emotional comfort fic, your honor

whiskey business by @elanev91

Sirius Black has a (bad?) habit of picking up hobbies that take over his and James' flat -- this most recent one? Homemade vodka that James now has to try and peddle to everyone in the building.

- hysterical! must read!

Fashion Disaster by @maraudersftw

James Potter is roped into an awful dare by his best-mate, which involves him wearing atrocious pieces of clothing for all days until Christmas as dictated by Sirius. If this wasn't terrible enough, he now has to contend with his maddening crush on the beautiful saleswoman at the clothing store.

- classic hijinks that I live for

it wasn't a pity invite by @elanev91

Part of the December "Winter Tropes" Jily challenge. Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and omG i’m so sorry

- awkward Christmas date that owns my heart

spice and honey by @clare-with-no-i

tagging along with her food reporter sister to profile James Potter, London's hottest young chef, is not how Lily Evans pictured her Monday going - especially if he's anything like Petunia’s described.

needless to say, she's in for a whirlwind at Chez Maraudeur.

- I'm one re-read away from printing this out and putting it on my bookshelf.

Waffle Wars by @elanev91

There's only one waffle maker in the dining hall and it literally always breaks. So, naturally, the only reasonable course of action is to meticulously map out when it's working and, ultimately, do a heist.

- the witty narration in this fic can not be matched

You Can Hear It In The Silence by @alrightginger

Lily is non-verbal and deaf in a world where the things your soulmate says about you end up written on your skin. She has known about her soulmate since she was seven, but knows they don't have a clue she exists and possibly never will.

- exquisite, cue me sobbing forever

out the window by @displayheartcode

A new family moves to Ottery St Catchpole.

- everything I could ever want in a fic, forever in my mind rent free

The Christmas Guest by @thegodmachine

An Evans Family Christmas: Petunia is bringing her fiancé and Lily is bringing her…Friend…

- petunia pov that gives me WINGS

Football, Calculus, and Cappuccinos by @moonawrites

At eighteen years old, James Potter has a lot going on. He's a rising star navigating the politics of professional football, the pitfalls of sudden fame, the fallout from choosing his dream over his father's company... and a serious crush on the red headed new barista at his favourite coffee shop.

- I'm still working my way through this fic, but trust me when I say its a GEM

if u like pina coladas by @zephyrcove

Lily is desperate for a date to Petunia's wedding, James has been pining, and their friends meddle ;)

- explain to me how characters can be so perfect via texting fics?

Shelf Awareness by @ghostofbambifanfiction

It's too far out of her way and she's wasting so much money, but Lily can't help but return to the bookstore every weekend, where her passion for good literature has, perhaps, been unexpectedly reignited by the messy-haired, pun-making, rather handsome bloke who works there.

- you absolutely must know that I binge read this and then immediately REREAD it

How to win a witch in 10 days by @adenei

“She’s going to find some unsuspecting wizard, get him to fall for her, and then do all the things that turn men away to get him to break things off! Won’t it be the best way to see what witches do that drives men crazy?” But what happens when the man in question is a blast from Lily Evans's past? A Jily Magical AU based on the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."

- fic based off of a rom com? YES PLZ :’)

The Fight Before Christmas by @ghostofbambifanfiction

The heartwarming Christmas tale of Lily Evans and James Potter - two plucky kids who hated one other, until the day they really, really didn't.

- complete sucker for this one

All This Time by @thejilyship

James and Lily grew up next door to one another. Their bedroom windows giving them glimpses into the others life, and also offering prime opportunities to argue with each other over every little thing. They never figured out how to be friends when they were kids, but now that they've graduated from college and are home for the summer, they have a second chance to get things right.

- one of my favvvv tropes

Let Me Love You by @thejilyship

With only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter.

- cries in princess diares AU

The Fabulous Baker Brothers by @frustratedpoetwrites

Lily walks a different route home from work and stumbles upon a cute little Bakery with an even cuter baker in the window.

- yes yes yes to embarrassed pining.

Marigold Mornings by @mppmaraudergirl

This is a fun game she thinks, as she removes her hand from his side and reaches up to run it down his chest.  He catches her hand in his own, takes a step forward so that her nose nearly brushes against his shirt. She can feel the heat radiating off of him—or maybe it’s from her. He licks his lips and her eyes are drawn to the motion.  She knows it is a bad idea, absolutely knows it.

- incredible storytelling featuring dynamic characters :') a favvv

Welcome to Pettyville by@women-inthe-sequel @alrightginger

When Lily Evans accidentally sends a text to the wrong number, she isn’t expecting to find the right person behind it. She can’t stop talking to Prongs. The only thing is, Prongs can’t stop talking about the girl in his class. What could go wrong, other than the number?

- LOVE SQUARE ANYONE

The Kiss a Stranger Project by @alrightginger

“What’s your name, then?” she asks, realizing they haven’t even properly introduced themselves yet. She nervously crosses her arms.

You shouldn’t kiss a guy without knowing his name first.

Right?

- THIS ONE WILL LIVE IN MY MIND FOREVER

[ashestospace-fics]

Gross Otaku

Character: Leviathan from Obey me

Reader: Male

G: NSFW

Word count: 3,797

Masterlist

-MINORS DO NOT INTERACT-

Tags: degrading, humiliation, topReader, BottomLevi, teasing, slight FootJob, swearing, reader kinda of a ass

It wasn't rare for you to always find your way back into Levi's room. Most of the time you two ended up either playing video games or just watching a new series he was gushing over. You liked spending time with him, even though dealing with any of the demon brothers might be a pain, you had the same interests as the 3rd born Otaku, so it was easy for you two just to get along when he realizes you aren't just some normie trying to pretend to like his same interest. Might be one of the reasons he fell for you so easily from the start. You like the same things he did, and actually, we're into rambling about your shows with him.

But one of the things he didn't expect from you while playing online or any competitive game was to go full-on sailor on anyone who would start shit. Sure he already used to lobbies with people insulting each other and swearing, but it just hit different when it was you. A human full-on destroying other demons who would start insulting other players unprovoked. It was almost terrifying how you drag the filth into some of these guys with a few phrases and just roast them alive. Levi found it arousing, even though you were insulting and being a dig without mercy, sometimes he wanted to degrade him to the point of killing him with humiliation. But oh no, that will be way worse for him. What would his dearest friend think if they found out he was actually turned on by something like that?

A dirty Otaku who gets turned on by being called filth? Oh, he could never live past the day if it were to come. You for sure will never talk to him ever again and go for one of his brothers instead! That would be so unfair, Levi quickly brushes those thoughts away. Now wasn't the time to indulge in his fantasies, you were gonna be coming soon and he was almost done setting the table for your nightly gaming session. This time making sure that extra sodas and sweets were around as he sat up from the coshing on the floor. His computer place opposite to where yours was gonna be.

Levi was a sucker for this setup, both of you got matching PC covers and set and he just loves that you weren't far from his reach if he was to accidentally stretch his hands on the desk or his foot to brush against yours, it would be by the distance and he wouldn't get caught being weird. It was just so perfect in his little head. Already multiple scenarios were starting to reach upon his head to hear you knocking on the door. If you were to tease him or push him around, his mind always wonders about that somehow.

You quirk a brow as you open up the door. Levi standing in front of the table staring down on the light-up screen fail to notice you approach behind up. You notice the light blush on his cheeks as you stood behind him.

"watcha thinking about that got your face all pink like that?" You spoke, Levi screech as he jumps slightly at the sound of your voice. Face going Pinker as he lifted his arm up in a normal fashion to cover his face.

"Oi! W-what are you doing sneaking up to me like that?! Learn how to knock!" He blurted out as he steps back a bit. His leg hitting the table, you scoff back in return as you went around to put your PC down.

"I did, Maybe you would have heard me if you weren't spacing out like a dork" you flop down on the cushion on the floor. A groan passing your lips as you use your arms as support to look up at him.

"Oh..." He mumbled out, the pink on his face slowly calming.

"Yeah, Oh's right, Now come on and sit down I'm hype to start!" You motion a hand towards him.

He just sighs in response as he sat down. Levi's eyes glance up to you putting on your headphones as you got everything ready. You two already had planned before what games you will play and order, so far all of this was like normally scheduled game night. But still, a part of him felt embarrassed that you caught him spacing out while thinking about you. That just so uncool, Levi groans again as he started the match. Maybe he can just play this off and get in the zone when you two start playing. Ignore all about his stupid crush on you and about how close you are and how it will only take a bit for him to move his hand and- darn it Levi concentrate! He can let his fantasies of being with you ruin your relationship now.

Regardless of Leviathans inner monologue to fight back his thought, you on the other hand already notice he was shifting in his spot. You caught on time to time on this, but just brush it off as one of his anxieties tics so you put not much thought into it. Now as you two play a few rounds, everything seemed to go as normal. A few normal lobby encounters here and there. Until the last round of your match, there was this one guy just shit-talking for no reason and everyone was starting to get annoyed at this point. Levi could see your eye twitching from his spot the more this guy kept talking. Just a few more minutes and it would be over and you'll two will move on to the next game.

"You guys suck, what the fuck even is that shot dude? Crappy aim and a shit load of fuc-"

"Man shut up already, I get it, you don't have any friends and no one likes you at home. Your mom gotta deal with her shitty unemployed son living in her basement who doesn't shower. No one wants to hear how fucking pathetic your life is under all those big words buddy so how about you shut your pipe already?" You spat venom in each word as you kept on playing. Levi's eyes darted back up at you, face flushing pink quickly at your words. The guy got caught up in his words at your sudden outburst.

"man you shut the fuck up-"

"see? There you go only using curse words because your vocabulary is so limited. God you're so... pathetic, why don't you do us all a favor and stuff your mouth with one of those overuse sex toys in your room since you clearly never touch anyone before in your life" you said in a mocking tone, it was so clear against Levi's ears, he finds it unfair that you were saying all those things to some random dude and not him, his practically all those things you just said. He bit down on his lip as he shifted on his spot.

The people in the lobby commented their "ooh" and "damn" a few admitted how weirdly sexy your voice was while insulting the guy who was just mumbling cusses at you now.

"awe what's wrong? To shame to admit you're a gross stuck up who hides behind that overly big mouth of yours?" You let out a chuckle as you took the last kill of the game. "Fucking weirdo" you blurted out as you lean back while stretching your arms. Levi stares intensely at his screen. God, it was so so unfair that you talk like that right in front of him. He completely froze in his place as his eyes tried not to look down at the tent in his sweat pants.

Dammit

"jeez, could you believe that guy Levi? What a pain in the ass...huh your score went down in the last few minutes" you mumble out as you took a sip from your soda. Eyes trying to look over at the Demon whose head was looking down at the screen.

"hmm-hmm" he hummed back a response. His mind was going crazy as he prayed you didn't notice. Maybe if he just didn't move you'll just ignore him or he'll turn invisible by pure luck! Yeah Levi that's a great idea. You squinted your eyes at the top of his head. Shifting in place you stretch your leg under the table to push him slightly.

"Oi, Levi you gonna talk back to me-wow!" you pull your foot back as soon as you felt the hard tent between your sock. Eyes shotting open as Levi let out a surprise screech/moan as he jolted from his spot at your sudden actions.

Both of you froze as his eyes finally met yours, his face flush bright red as you stare in disbelief as you realize what you just felt by accident. You didn't mean it though, you were just gonna push him by the leg not shove your whole foot between his legs.

" w-wait y/n I c-can ex-explain! This so uncool, it's yo-your fault I didn't I mean I was-" Levi became a stuttering mess as he got caught. Your face going blank as you glance down the table to see that he was hard. You press your lips together in a thin line. Your expression on readable made it worse for the Otaku trying to make up any poor excuse on the spot. A hummed left your throat as your foot made contact with his hard-on again, just that this time you put full pressure as his hands flew down to grab your ankle as he let out a choked whine at your sudden action.

"W-what are you doing?!" He exclaims, humiliation washing over him as he made little effort to push your foot away as he didn't dare look back up at your penetrating gaze.

"My fault? You said it was my fault? How are you popping a Boner while in the middle of our game my fault Levi?" You scoff as you place a hand under your cheek as your elbow resting on the table. Levi panted as he tried to make a fail attempt to push his foot away. Face burning with embarrassment at two heavy his breath got against his chest.

The friction was about to be his guilty pleasure as you rubbed your foot up and down. A small pathetic whine leaving Levi's mouth as you press forward into his shaft. The sound of your chuckle made his whole body shake as you took another sip of your drink.

"wow, you really are enjoying this huh? Even though you're a demon and you could easily push me off, you just letting me step on your hard-on just like that?" Your eyes glance down, his feet reaching your side of your thighs as Levi legs feet and stretch. Your hands took a hold of his ankles and pull him closer as your feet press dangerous painful against his pants. Another scoff passing your lips as you watch his back arch at your sudden action. A shaky moan passing his lips as he finally looked up to you.

"so tell me, Levi, what was it that got you like this? You thinking about your anime girls or...." He quickly averted his eyes, a hand flying over to cover his face as he shook slightly, your previous motions stopping as you figure out.

"you got turn-on by me insulting that loser?" You let out a laugh as he tried squirming away. A quiet "n-no" reaching your ears as you retreat your foot and stood up. Making your way over to tower, Levi, as you looked down at him with your hands on your pockets.

"well?" You asked quietly, your voice dropping as you could see the corner of his eyes tear up as he refuses to look at you.

"i-I'm sorry I know I'm gross, I'm just a gross Otaku-" oh there he was, his normal phrase. You crouch down his height as looked at him. He quickly shut up, he was embarrassed to a godly extent but he would be lying that this wasn't making him hornier. I mean this practically one of the many ways he imagines you would take him. Humiliating him just like this, but the fact that you just touch him was already enough to make his mind start to go hazy.

"Yeah you're right, you are a gross Otaku, one that got turn-on by me insulting some guy, or were you just imagining that would be you? Hhm Levi?" You took a hold of his chin to make him look at you, his face felt warm against your fingertip as he bites down on his lip. It was hard for you not to strip him down and take him with that look on his face. But self-control is key in this current situation, and you were determined to see how far you could get.

"y-...yes.." he whispers out. A smile grew on your face as you pulled him closer.

"you know... you're really fun to tease, I wonder how far you letting me get away with this, look how pathetic your acting for a demon..." you breathe out, your lips barely grazing his as one of your hands rubs his thigh, legs close instantly as your palm press against his boner and your fingers dig down into his covered hole. A loud whimper passing his lips as you brought him for an eager kiss.

The hand holding his chin now on the back of his head as you pulled him closer. Teeth clashing between the heated kiss as Levi's hands hold onto your shoulders. Moans passing freely from his throat as his eyes shoot open wide. Body becoming warm as your hand-kept teasing and rubbing his covered cock. He felt already weak with what was going on, everything felt like was going on so fast and rough but was crabbing more and more by the second. The taste of the sweet you were eating prior still lingers in your mouth as you lick again his lips. His jaw going slack as he opens his mouth for you. Another breathy moan left his lips as he felt your hot tongue enter his mouth. This was what Levi was dreaming about and even more.

He gripped on your shoulder as you pulled away. Now both hands stopping your assault as you force him to lay down on the cushions scatter around the floor. Moving both his legs to straddle yours as you started taking off your shirt. If it was even possible Levi's face went redder as he stares at your torso in awe, a smirk rose to your lips as you grip the edge of his shirt and jacket.

"what? Enjoying the show you gross Otaku?" This time it was your turn to let out a groan as you grinded against his groin. You were already hard with all this foreplay, your breathing was starting to hitch against your throat. Levi whined at your words, his slender fingers fumbling around to get desperately rid of his clothes. Your teasing and words already had him in state at this point and you enjoyed how easily he was crumbling to them.

A low sigh passes your lips, your hips rocking against him slowly as your eyes trail up his chest, he was slim but still fit. Both your hands trailing up his bare skin until reaching his already hardening nipples. You lean down and kiss between his chest as you grinded harder against him. Quiet moans passing his lips as he covers his face as he still peeks over to look at your actions. Embarrassment written all over his cute flustered face had you smiling slightly before trailing higher as you left a trail of kisses. A shaky moan passes his throat as you licked up, your lips meeting their way up to his earlobe and nibbling it.

"you like it when I tease you, Levi?" You asked quietly, a moan In a response made you stop grinding. You wanted to hear him say it, god you needed him to be a good boy and admit that he's gross for being turn on like this. Levi shooked his head as he gripped your shoulders, he feels the outline of your cock against his sweat pants and he felt like he was melting on the spot with how close it.

"y-yes.." he whispers out, he tried grinding his hips pathetically to make you continue.

"you like it when I call gross? Hmm? You wanted this whole time to point out how nasty you are for being an Otaku who's choices to gets stuck at home?" Your tongue swirls the back of his ear before biting it.

He arches his back as his grinding became desperate. A loud cry left him as hold into you. He couldn't control how hot his body was feeling, he felt like he was gonna burst if you didn't keep touching him.

"y-yes! I like it, I love it when you call me gross, and I r-really need you to fuck me and put me in my place now! Please d-don't stop Y/n!" He kicks his legs as he shouted. Your eyes winded as you pulled back to look at him, tears falling down his face as his breathing became a mess. Your thumb brushing it off as you lean down to kiss all over his cheek gently as your free hand pulls his waist up to get rid of his sweats and underwear in one go. A sigh of relief passing Levi's lips as his length press against his lower stomach.

"Jeez, your so needy for my cock is makes you look pathetic Baby" you chuckled, truth be told that your heart was beating against your chest widely. You pulled down your pants, the cold air hitting your dick made you shiver slightly as you kick the clothes out of the way. Levi's hands flying over to cover his mouth as you spread his legs apart even wider.

You swallow hard, the view almost made you dizzy as his hole clench around nothing as it glistens with his wetness. A brow crock up as you press a finger inside of him slowly, it sucked you in eagerly as Levi moan loudly.

"How are you this dripping wet down here? You look like a bitch in heat or is that something Demons go through?" You bite your lip as you push another finger in with ease, pumping them fast with how eager he was taking your hand.

"h-hm, oh f-fuck, um uh ye-yes?" Levi squeaks out the answer as he holds into the cushion under him. Your fingers felt so good, he for sure felt like he was on cloud 9, he was craving so much more than your fingers but even with them, he was falling apart.

"hmm, that should be interesting when it comes heh" you press your fingers upwards, hitting his prostate with so much ease it almost amazes you how loud he screams just by that, as he threw his head back. You let out a whistle as you pulled your fingers away from his aching hole. Another whine left him at the absence of your digits, he almost came just by that.

"quit whining, If you wanted me to fuck you" you hiss out, your cock press against his dripping hole was making it twitch. Levi looked back down, eyes glossy as he lifted his legs to his chest as he holds them for you. One of your hands made it to his waist as the other hold your cock, slapping it against him before thrusting yourself halfway in without warning.

Both of you groan loudly as you stood still, he was tight no matter how much he was leaking. He was clenching down on you hard, Levi could feel his mouth water as you push the rest of your cock in his tight hole. He could feel every vein pulsating inside of him, that pre-cum was leaking out his tip. He curses loudly as you pulled back and thrust back into him. Starting with a fast speed as your hips snap against him every time.

"f-fuck your tight, you practically sucking me in" you groan loudly as you grip on his waist, the smacking sound of both your flesh hitting against each other vibrating against the whole room as Levi said your name like a mantra. It felt so good, he felt like he was going to pass out with how good you were fucking him. He didn't want anything but your cock to stuff him full.

"w-what's wrong? You little anime waifu can't fuck you as good as my cock?" You hiss out. "M-mh a-ah fuck n-no! I only want your cock, fuck I only want you to stuff me like this all the time" Levi screamed as he panted between each thrust, you were not slowing down at all. Each time thrusting into the bundle of nerves that was about to make him snap and tip over. His mouth hanging open as drool fell down and his eyes cross, God you thought it was the hottest shit ever.

"Good, good little Otaku, Be good and cum all over yourself like the gross nerd you are- fuck" you moan as you fell on top of him, you never been this riled up. Your hips never stopping once as you kept thrusting harder into his aching hole. Levi's hand made their way up to your face and kiss you roughly. Drowning each other moans as you kept abusing his poor prostate until he came over you and his stomach. A loud cry left his lips as you kept thrusting into him trying to reach climax. Your lips silencing his cries as you gave one final thrust, pressing deep into him as you cover his inside white.

Both of you panted loudly as you regain your breaths. You pulled away slowly, both of you hissing at the feeling as you rolled over next to him. Now staring into the ceiling as your brains process your previous actions as your panting quiet down. You sat up, whipping your forehead as you looked back at him. His face still flushed as you brought your hand to push his bangs off his face.

"you look gross and sweaty, let's take a shower" you blurt out leaning down to kiss his cheek before standing up. Levi covers his face once again as he rolled over.

"This...is so unfair" he breathed out.

"yeah yeah I love you too, but like seriously, we need to shower you made a mess".

[macgyvermedical]

hi! so ive been looking into top surgery (specifically double incision), and nipple grafts make me intensely nervous! ive read some about shear force and how that can disrupt the growth of new blood vessels to the nipple, but i couldnt find much about what shear force trauma feels or looks like in terms of nipple grafts. how would someone know if thats happened? i imagine it would hurt, but does it always have to hurt, or can it happen without the person realizing? and is it only when an outside force shoves sideways against the graft, or can it also be caused by sudden muscle or skin movements around the graft? thank you! i appreciate you having your inbox open and being willing to read and answer so many different questions from all of us

Nipple grafts make a lot of people nervous, because I think the understanding is that they just kinda set them on there with a few stitches and leave them to reattach themselves.

The nice thing is that this is pretty far from the truth. Suturing is pretty advanced stuff these days (like, surgeons can suture arteries together and almost immediately have blood flow through them with no leakage. They're really that good). There are stitches all the way around the nipples and the areolas, and over top of that you'll either find a sticky-backed foam cover which keeps everything firmly in place, or a gauze soaked in petroleum jelly that keeps everything from drying out.

Over either of those, you'll have a surgical binder that puts pressure on the area to keep the swelling down (so less stretching, which will help reduce shearing on the grafts) and also help protect and keep everything in place as you move during recovery (because you should move. Walking/moving as much as you can after any surgery will prevent things like blood clots and pneumonia and help you heal faster by promoting circulation). The whole setup is designed to minimize movement around the nipple and ensure that the graft adheres.

There is of course always going to be some level of shearing if you move or swell at all, and you probably won't feel it (I still don't have sensation in parts of my nipples, and I had almost none when I first had top surgery because there are generally no intact nerve endings directly after surgery for free nipple grafts).

The good news is that most people's nipples survive the surgery and adhere without much problem (mine did, and I both had a hematoma (a pooling of blood behind the fat flap on one side of my chest which caused it to swell a lot) and had the sticky foam backing ripped off not once, but twice within the first few days after the surgery (the first time in the emergency department the day of the surgery for the hematoma and the second at the follow up visit a few days later because the NP thought I was there for the 7-day visit because her computer wasn't working)). And my dudes adhered without any bloodflow issues.

So, just with that little n-of-one you really have to torture those suckers to get them to shear.

The best things you can do is follow the directions given to you by your surgeon, wear the prescribed compression garments, take care of any inserted drains, try not to lift your arms at the shoulder for a while (you'll love doing your best impression of a t-rex), put a pillow between you and the seatbelt when you're in a car, sleep on your back (that was the hardest part for me), and try to eat well and get up and walk around every hour or two while awake.

All of these things will decrease shearing forces on your grafts and help promote blood flow and healing!

I hope you end up getting top surgery if you feel like it would help you! It was seriously one of the biggest dysphoria-reducing things I've ever had done and I'm really glad I ended up having it done!

[sleepless-in-starbucks]

Logan’s Gay and Remy’s in a Suit

Summary: Just read the title Content: Gays, so much gays, nb!remy, nb!logan (he uses he/him pronouns but he’s still an enby suckers), mentions of dying of gay, logan thinking that flirting = bullying because he’s a useless gay Pairing: Romo losleep Notes: I’m so sleep-deprived I should be sleeping but i HAD to write this so. have it. inspired by this art by @strawberryjellystuff

~~

    Logan was a smart person. He knew a good deal of things. He knew the distance from the earth to the sun, to the moon, and to Mars. He knew the average amount of bones in the human body at any given interval of life. He knew the names of every capital of every city in north and south america.

    He also knew that he was very, very gay. This fact alone wasn’t too shocking or even that impressive. Logan had known he was gay since he was fifteen. It hadn’t been hard to figure out.

    It was the ‘very, very’ that was important. As a rule, Logan rarely felt the need to enhance his words with ‘very.’ He made his points, he made them clearly, and he made them exactly as he wanted them. There was no reason for him to use ‘very.’

    Then he met Remy.

    And Remy… woo boy. Remy.

    Remy made Logan feel it extremely necessary to add ‘very, very’ to his normally adequate descriptor of ‘gay.’ That was because Remy was very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very pretty. And there was only a little bit of the author’s bias showing through in that statement. It was mostly cold, hard fact. You know because LOGAN’S thinking it and he thinks in pretty much only fact.

    So Logan was gay, Remy was (objectively) the prettiest person to exist, and Logan was trying his hardest to stop his writer from taking away his braincells and turning him into a proper gay disaster.

    Except he and Remy worked at the same university. In the same department. During most of the same hours.

    Logan was having a hell of a time holding onto those braincells.

    However, while it had taken time, Logan had adjusted. Survival of the fittest, and all- if Logan wasn’t able to adapt to constantly being around someone so pretty it was outlawed in several made-up countries and a few real ones, then Logan wasn’t fit enough to survive. So he had adapted and he had done so flawlessly.

    Better put, he had suffered several weeks learning how to adjust to the fact that Remy’s naturally perfect looks were only increased by xyr leather jacket and sunglasses, the fact that xy knew how to smirk like xy owned the world (impossible, Logan had considered before, considering Remy was clearly the world, and one could not own oneself), and the fact that Remy was a bully.

    That was the only word Logan had for Remy’s actions towards him, anyways- after all, there was no way Remy had missed the way Logan’s cheeks seemed to literally light on fire every time xy smiled at him, or the little giggle Logan had never properly learned to fight down every time Remy called him a petname (a wholly ridiculous response considering Remy called lots of people petnames- sure, xy only ever seemed to call Logan ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’ or ‘light of my world and stars of my universe’ but that didn’t mean anything), or the way Logan stumbled over his every word when attempting to return an offhanded compliment that Remy likely had paid him by accident while thinking of… coffee. Remy did like xyr coffee, after all.

    But Remy’s bullying aside, Logan HAD adapted. He was able to look at Remy with minimal flushing, he had become the master of avoiding conversation topics designed to trap him (though Remy was becoming creative with xyr compliment-trap setups… Logan would have to start adapting faster than Remy if he hoped to survive the semester), and he knew the fastest exits out of every room and building in the entire university, ensuring that- if ever needed- he could literally flee Remy. He was surviving in his new, Remy-included environment.

    And then the author Jelly Remy decided to adapt as well.

    It had been a normal day of work up until then- Logan was working on checking over papers and going through his lesson plan a few more times, making sure he had everything ready for the school day. Upon realizing his coffee had run low, he got up, stretching as he began to move towards the staff lounge, seeking a refill.

    There was only one other teacher there at the moment, which Logan figured made sense- most of the astronomy professors had early morning classes, Logan being one of only two who didn’t. He had gotten out of it by luck- the other had insomnia and wasn’t normally at school in the mornings.

    Logan barely glanced at xyr, however, wanting to get his coffee before he had to deal with being flustered at seven in the morning. He was fairly certain it wouldn’t be that bad of a fluster, anyways- he was at least partially prepared this time, and he was about to have coffee on his side, and it looked like Remy had traded xyr normal leather-jacket look for a suit of some kind, and Remy had probably had a rough night if xy were in early so xyr flusters wouldn’t be top of xyr game, and-

    Logan stopped. Blinked. Processed. Processed again.

    A… suit?

    Logan turned to look at Remy and immediately regretted the decision. Because those braincells he had mentioned earlier? Gone. Stolen. Removed from existence. In theory, the author’s got them stored up somewhere but… eh, their location’s not important. Not like Logan could use them even if he found them.

    Because Remy was in a suit- a blue suit with delicate, lovely white flower designs traced over the chest and around xyr wrists, complimented by a lovely purple tie Logan had never seen Remy wear before- mostly because Remy didn’t normally wear ties. Or suits. Why was Remy wearing a suit?

    To kill me Logan decided barely a second later when Remy caught him staring and smirked at him in a way that was most decidedly an act of bullying.

    “Good morning, sunlight and starshine.” Remy said, further proving that xy was a bully and that xy was bullying Logan right then and there, a conclusion Logan came too as he clamped a hand over his mouth and focused on not making any sound even slightly akin to a giggle. “How are you on this morning that’s nowhere near as fine as you?”

    Logan, smartly, didn’t respond. Speaking would ultimately result in him stuttering, mumbling, and tripping over his words, which would make Remy smirk more, which would make Logan blush more, which would create a horrible cycle that would only end when either Remy left or Logan died. So, by not responding, the cycle never started and therefore could not end in Logan’s death.

    In choosing to do nothing else but stare at Remy without saying a word, however, Logan apparently had responded, in a way- Remy’s smirk still grew and Logan still ended up blushed harder.

    “Oh, darling, don’t tell me I’ve made you speechless.” Remy teased, moving from xyr spot against the wall to stand in front of Logan, tilting xyr head to the side. “No, wait, do tell me. I do love to hear your voice.”

    Logan remained silent. Remy couldn’t go on forever with no new material… right?

    “Or, hey, maybe it’s not me.” Remy went on, unconcerned with Logan’s silence. “Maybe you’re just tired. That’s why you were acting perfectly fine until you saw me, after all. Just tired. Is that right? Or should I keep guessing?”

    Realizing that silence was getting him nowhere and nothing (besides more flustered), Logan decided to simply attempt to move on with his day. Maybe ignoring Remy would make xyr go away.

    Logan had just barely turned to once more resume his walk to the coffee pot when he was forced to stop once more, this time not by Remy’s looks but by the fact that Remy had a hand and the ability to grab Logan’s wrist with it.

    A very annoying ability for sure, given it not only prevented Logan from continuing with his brilliant plan of ‘if you just ignore xyr eventually xy’ll go away’, but also increased his blush and got him looking at Remy again which was increasing his blush even more. By now, Logan was fairly sure his entire face was red, which was completely unfair given that blue was much more his colour.

    “Come on, sweetheart, don’t be like that.” Remy said, voice now both confident and sweet, which wasn’t helping Logan’s goal to Just Stop Blushing Already at all. “If you really have had a long night, I don’t mean to tease.”

    “N-no, I’m fine.” Logan said, which was a lie, because he wasn’t fine at all, he was doing terribly, but he was also doing a million times better than usual, which also wasn’t fine but it was in a completely different direction than terribly. So, either way, his statement was a lie. “Just uh… a long morning.”

    Logan realized that was the wrong answer the moment Remy’s softer smile once more became a smirk. “I take it back, then. I very much mean to tease.”

    “Ah-” Logan cleared his throat, trying to find a way to backtrack, “I do have, uh, a couple of papers to take care of, so-”

    “And you don’t have class for at least another hour.” Remy pointed out for him, still holding onto his wrist and giving no indication that xy’d be letting go of it anytime soon. “You’ve got the time to spare for a bit of conversation with your favorite colleague.”

    “You presume to be my favorite?” Logan managed to say without tripping over any of his words.

    Remy’s smirk just turned knowing. “I don’t have to be a poker player to spot your tells, babe. Unless, of course, you have another reason for constantly blushing around me.”

    “You possibly have a higher-than-average body temperature that causes all the objects and people within your near vicinity to heat up as well, therefore prompting a blush in those organisms that have the ability to blush.” Logan offered, well aware everything he was saying was bullshit meant only as a poor attempt to save himself.

    Unsurprisingly, Remy saw right through him. “Nah, hun, I don’t think it’s that. You can try again, if you want, but if you’d let me take a crack at it-”

    “Please do not.” Logan interrupted rather hurriedly, which only fueled Remy’s amusement. “I am simply… tired. And busy. So, ah, if you’ll excuse me, I really should be getting back to my work-”

    “Alright, beautiful, I know when I’m wanted.” Remy said, politely half-ignoring as Logan looked away and pretended to cough into his arm as he let out a small giggle. “One question before you go?”

    “I really should be-”

    “Are you free tonight?”

    That shut Logan up. “I- what?”

    “Are you free tonight?” Remy repeated, only smiling at Logan’s confusion. “I know this really lovely place downtown, I promise you you’ll love it, though not nearly as much as I love you-”

    “I- what?!” Logan said, more panickedly this time. Tonight? Restaurant? Love you?

    Remy titled xyr head to the side, looking puzzled. “I don’t know how to make this any clearer for you, love.”

    “I- ah- you- are you- are you asking me out on- on a date?” Logan demanded, not caring much for how many times he had to restart his sentence but having no solution for that particular problem.

    “...I would’ve hoped that was fairly obvious, yes.” Remy answered, shaking xyr head a bit as they continued to watch Logan with amused confusion. “This isn’t a surprise to you, is it?”

    “Well- I- uh- it’s just-”

    Remy laughed. “Oh, darling, I hate to laugh at you, but- Lo, hun, I’ve been flirting with you for weeks now. This can’t be that shocking.”

    “You’ve been flirting with me?!” Logan responded. “When?!”

    “I- Logan, I’ve been calling you the most ridiculous of petnames, complimenting you every time you so much as blink, repeatedly breaking into your classroom to force you to eat lunch with me, interrupting your classes to tease you- what do you think I’ve been doing?”

    “Bullying me!”

    “I was- I’m sorry, say that again?”

    “Bullying me!” Logan repeated as asked, moving his coffee cup into the hand that Remy was holding hostage so that he could run his fingers through his hair, feeling frazzled. “You kept- you kept doing things to make me blush and- and lose focus- and- and giggle, for gods’ sakes- what else could you have been doing?!”

    To Logan’s surprise, instead of defending xyrself, Remy just laughed as xyr face broke out in the widest grin Logan had seen xyr wearing all morning. “You absolute dork.” Xy said, though xyr tone was only endearing. “You really are a disaster gay, huh?”

    “...Just a little.” Logan said weakly, before forcing himself to amend, “Maybe a lot.”

    “A lot sounds more accurate, yeah.” Remy agreed, still laughing a bit. “Bullying you- oh, you really are too cute, sugar.”

    Logan resisted the urge to run to exit number fifty-nine and escape the blush that, at this point, was likely hot enough to permanently burn his skin. “You’re still being a bully.”

    “Oh, probably.” Remy admitted before xyr grin was once again replaced by a smirk Logan had both memorized and yet also knew he would never get used to. “But am I being too much of a bully that you won’t go out on a date with me?”

    “I- uh- I-” Logan ducked his head. He couldn’t accept Remy’s offer, he really couldn’t, it would almost guarantee his death, and he had worked so hard to become immune to Remy’s killer charm (pun not intended and not appreciated).

    But at the same time… Logan wasn’t sure he had the willpower to refuse.

    So, predictably, he settled for a quick little nod that said everything Remy needed to hear without Logan having to stutter his way through a single word.

    Remy’s grin turned dazzling. “Perfect!” Xy exclaimed, quickly pressing a kiss to Logan’s cheek before he could even begin to react. “I’ll pick you up after all our classes are out, okay?”

    “O-okay.” Logan said numbly, free hand raising to rest over the spot where Remy had kissed him, feeling half-trapped in a dream.

    “Perfect!” Remy repeated, still grinning as xy let go of Logan’s hand, heading towards the door, bursting with energy and clearly on xyr way to continue planning the exacts of Logan’s demise.

Before xy could fully get out of the room, however, Logan managed to get his voice back about him and call out, “Wait!”

Remy immediately stopped, turning back to look at Logan. “Yes, sweetheart?”

“I- uh-” Logan gestured vaguely at Remy, “Your suit. You- You never wear suits. Why today…?”

At that, Remy’s grin just widened to a degree Logan wasn’t entirely sure should be humanly possible. “For our date, of course!” Xy answered, raising xyr sunglasses just so that xy could wink at Logan. “I had a feeling you’d say yes.”

And with that, Remy left, leaving Logan to stand in the middle of the staff lounge, empty coffee mug still in one hand, the other still resting on his cheek and over the spot where Remy had kissed him, feeling dazed in the best sort of way possible.

He was still standing there when another one of the teachers wandered in, shooting him a strange look. “Are you alright, Logan?”

“Not at all.” Logan answered truthfully.

He was much, much better than alright.

[tirorah]

Road to Berlin – The Strike Witches Magnum Opus?

Hello! It’s been a long time. I don’t plan on returning to Tumblr long-term—it simply stole away too much of my time and energy, and I had to do what was best for myself. However, I thought I’d pop in for a very special message.

You see, Strike Witches’ third season, Road to Berlin, has now reached its halfway point. And I need you to watch it.

“Strike Witches?!” I hear you say. “That weird show about girls with no pants that you’re obsessed with for some reason?”

Yes, exactly! Hold on, don’t run away yet! Sit with me for a spell and allow me to explain my boundless love for this silly, emotionally gripping show. Allow me to tell you why it might affect you in the same way, and why Road to Berlin may be the best offering yet.

Welcome to the 501st Joint Fighter Wing

If you’ve heard of this anime, you’ve undoubtedly heard of (or witnessed) its rather infamous claim to fame: a group of teenage soldiers fighting strange creatures in an Alternate Universe World War 2 Europe, flying around with guns and magic-fueled leg machines, and none of them are wearing any decent trousers.

That takes some getting used to, doesn’t it? I’m not going to deny that. But while Strike Witches’ rather peculiar design decisions are inescapable, there’s one thing you need to take into account: Season 1 aired all the way back in 2008. And over those thirteen years, it’s evolved into an experience unlike anything its roots would suggest.

Strike Witches has always been a strange beast. It has a large cast and divides its activities evenly between (light) war drama and slice-of-life shenanigans. And there’s fanservice, lots and lots of it! But the show’s emphasis on risqué camera work, and how that camera work is handled, highly depends on which entry you’re watching.

You see, Strike Witches is strangely ambitious. It could’ve easily taken its bizarre concept and pushed that to its limits, bringing in as much fanservice as possible and playing a simple story in the background as window dressing. But it was never satisfied with just that. Even early on in Season 1, the show deals with heavier themes like pressure, trauma and loss.

And then there are the characters, the undisputed stars of the show. Twelve strong and all with different backgrounds and personal quirks, they may at first seem like TV Tropes come to life. And certainly, sometimes they are. However, as the series progressed, things started to change. Even Season 2, arguably the lightest and silliest of all entries, featured material that built on character development and character growth earned in its predecessor.

With the movie and a trio of OVAs to round out the cast a bit more, the stage was set for Road to Berlin.

The Difficult Road Ahead

When this season was first announced back in 2018, two things stood out to me. First of all, the key visual and promotional video released along with the announcement were much more similar in style to the movies and the OVAs, featuring serious-looking characters and stormy clouds. Secondly, for the first time in Strike Witches history, an entry received a subtitle. Yes, the OVAs were named Operation Victory Arrow, but that was merely wordplay to spell out “OVA.” It wasn’t wholly serious.

Road to Berlin, however, is deadly serious.

Let’s start with an overall theme. The vaunted 501st Joint Fighter Wing has had some major victories, but much of the continent is still under occupation by the Neuroi. The Hive over Berlin is the Wing’s new target, but the journey there is fraught with obstacles. Plans are thwarted and delayed by Neuroi more powerful and far craftier than their 2008 counterparts.

And as the opening song tells us: “We all have flaws.” The Road to Berlin isn’t an entirely literal road; it’s also a metaphorical one. The push to Berlin is their hardest battle yet. Victory can only be achieved if the characters face and overcome their weaknesses. But they’re not alone.

Friendship Is Power

As the characters have long since been established, there’s greater room for growth not just in one character, but also in how that character interacts with others. Road to Berlin chose the best possible route and decided to emphasize character dynamics. Episodes don’t focus on a single character anymore; they focus on relationships, and those relationships are at their peak here.

There’s a newfound maturity to the writing in Road to Berlin, a gentle touch that allows the characters to breathe and be more than their foremost traits. You get a sense that the characters have grown from their experiences; they feel different, more well-rounded, but they still behave exactly as they should. This is difficult to get right, and while I’m sure there might be a few eyebrow-raising moments here and there, the overall result is a cast that continues to improve every week.

Chekhov’s Gun

Underpinning the character work is a highly intriguing execution. Road to Berlin delivers subtle setups and satisfying payoffs in every episode. The pacing is also seriously tight. No moment is left unused, every opportunity for additional development is taken. Even the script itself doesn’t like to waste time; it explains things here and there, but it rightly assumes you know who the characters are and what everything means, so it doesn’t bother with many unnecessary lines.

On top of all that, this season is reaching new heights in confidence and sheer audacity, and it uses that to deliver something truly special. There are interactions here that I never could’ve imagined, twists that genuinely caught me off-guard, moments where I had to sit back and digest what I’d just witnessed.

Not a single episode has been predictable thus far; I’ve had more surprises than I can count. In fact, before I started watching I made a bingo card on a whim, filling it with trends and running gags I’d spotted over the course of the series. Some of those bingo spaces have already been proven wrong, and others are in question. Road to Berlin has done such a spectacular job at simultaneously defying and exceeding my expectations that I honestly have no idea where this journey will take me.

The Fault in Our Stars

Okay, hold up, stop the hype train! I admit, I’m a massive sucker for Strike Witches. One could say this somewhat clouds my judgement. Shocking, I know. So, to make this enthusiastic recommendation fairer, let’s dig into something that I hope to see an improvement on.

There is some terrible imbalance in screen time going on here. I know I said earlier that the cast is great, and it is amazing, but some characters have definitely been favored over others. Yoshika is the main character, of course, so it’s not unreasonable for her to have a large role. Similarly, characters like Minna, Gertrud and Shirley have more experience and higher ranks than the others, which means they have an easier time fitting into scenes.

So, who’s gotten the short end of the stick?

Let’s start with Lynne. She hasn’t had as much of a presence as I’d hoped. The primary reason for this is Shizuka, who’s taken up the role of newbie to the squadron and is often paired with Yoshika because they’re working together. As each episode focuses on the relationships between a select few characters at a time, the others are often relegated to minor roles, and poor Lynne hasn’t had an episode to highlight her yet. I’m sure her moment will come eventually.

I don’t know if the same thing applies to Minna. She’s mostly stuck behind her desk again, it seems, and while she’s definitely had some scenes, her role as Wing Commander hasn’t allowed her as much wiggle room as some of the others. What I want to see from Minna is more time to be a nurturing mom to her girls. The thing is, I’m not sure how they’d accomplish a Minna-centric episode. I suppose they could pair her up with Mio, but even then, I’m uncertain where to take her. It seems redundant to have her be worried out of her mind over Mio again, and she seems to be keeping it together pretty well so far anyway.

In a trend so merciless it’s almost comical, Sanya and Eila seem forever doomed to the peanut gallery. They started out with few lines and have pretty much remained in the background since. Of course, a big factor to it all is their role as the night patrol, which naturally separates their activities from everyone else’s. It’s my current prediction that their relationship is next in line to be showcased. The quality of that episode will likely hinge on how their personalities are tuned, but there’s potential for something great.

And most shocking of all, Mio—She Who Has Practiced Plot Armor Ten Thousand Times—has had the most infinitesimal role of all. I’m of two minds on this. It appears that Road to Berlin has realized that having Mio fly into battle without a shield or Striker Unit is silly, and this is good. On the other hand, Mio is an iconic and beloved character. She deserves some screen time as long as she doesn’t overshadow the others. For now, she seems to be relegated to strategizing and logistics, although I have a hunch that a way to circumvent her newfound vulnerability has already been set up. Time will tell if this ends up being utilized.

Journey’s End

In closing, Road to Berlin highlights the best of what Strike Witches has to offer. It’s striding boldly forward, eager to dazzle us with its animation and audio, grinning as it challenges our preconceptions about where its characters can go and what they can do.

The path to this greatness can be tough. Watching Strike Witches means accepting a number of strange concepts, which can give quite a few viewers a rough start with the series. However, if you made it all the way here and haven’t given Strike Witches a try yet, I sincerely implore you to make the attempt. If you allow the characters to sweep you off your feet, then Road to Berlin could be the apex of a most satisfying viewing experience.

Especially if its second half is as impressive as the first. I, personally, have high hopes. There’s no sky this show can’t conquer.

[nighttimepixels]

Night!! You like Llamagoddess, right?? Well, I was curious - what three or four skeletons would you put together in an Aggre-style setup? If you like that?

Oh dude, @llamagoddessofficial​ rocks. Seriously, if you like skeleton x reader content, you’re missing out if you’re not following her! (Go follow her and shower her in praise, 12/10 sweetheart and high-quality storyteller)

I’m guessing you mean like... what skeletons would I throw together in an xReader stirfry to see what delightful shenanigans result?

Llama’s got the corner on that sweet sweet UT, UF, & HT Sans (Sans, Red, & Skull, for her!) + MF Sans (Hit) content (seriously, are you reading Aggre? You should be) - so I’ll choose differently so I don’t step on her toes there!

That said, here’s a few of the guys that I think would be fun:

US, UF, and HF Sans (Caelum, Red, and Hickory, for me)

Honestly I love a strong & upbeat but secretly-struggling-with-depression US Sans; coupled with Red’s brashness but deep down softness, and Hickory’s... everything, the dynamic is rife with potential

It would’ve been Caelum’s fault; he accidentally messed with his brother’s machine and caused this mess trying to fix it (he came pretty far too, but...)

Hickory would almost certainly go a bit feral at some point or other after the ‘wrench’ was thrown in (Science!Sans, pulled in as well and convinced he could fix all this, and gets obsessed w/ Reader), ends up kidnapping Reader

There’d be a race between Red & Caelum to see just how they deal w/ Science!Sans - kindly, or permanently....

UT, US, and SF Pap (Papyrus, Cider, and Rus for me)

Cider’s fault in this one; the machine’s probably straight exploded... but plot twist not because of him, because of the MafiaFell!Pap that got dragged in too

Papyrus has got some secret baggage with knowing more than he lets on about the machine, and how to fix it even - but he doesn’t let on until halfway through

Rus is reluctant to help but also not; mixed feelings about going back. When he finds out about MF!Pap things go to hell, and there’s a whole arc re: methods chosen, and MF!Pap actually gets Rus secretly on his side for a good while before things happen that force Rus to choose a side, and he betrays MF!Pap and lets Reader escape

UF and SF Pap, and US Sans (Vex, Rus, and Caelum for me)

Vex’s fault in this one; after getting in a fight with Red he triggers the machine rather than breaking it. He refuses to admit wrongdoing, blames Red, Red goes ‘missing’ in response - making fixing the machine nigh impossible, with only Rus with a vaguely beneficial amount of knowledge that could help (though Caelum’s quick on the pickup)

Caelum very nearly convinces Reader to come back with him, honestly - neither of them have been able to break through to Vex or Rus for long enough - Vex is so up Rus’ case that it’s hard to get them to get along. Eventually there’s a breakthrough though when Caelum finally snaps and calls them out on it - just in time for Reader to go missing

Turns out HF!Pap (aka Birch) came through as well, and had actually kidnapped Red in the first place (getting him to work on a new machine), as well as now Reader - and he’s a lot more clever than the other guys would’ve guessed. It’s nigh impossible to get them back - but in the end, it’s Red & Reader working together to convince Birch that gives the guys an opening enough to keep Birch from succeeding in using the machine (to merge worlds, rather than kidnap Reader - it’d free his people, he reasons, and then there’s no problem with her staying with him, right?)

US and SF Sans, and UF Pap (Caelum, Sable, and Vex for me)

Listen I’m a sucker for US & SF Sans dynamic, okay? It’s great, and through in some Vex, and hot damn that’s a spicy meatball-

Wrench in the works is once again MafiaFell!Pap - only this time he’s working on both Vex and Reader; Vex tracks Reader one night and they meet that way. They’re ‘similar’ enough that Vex is swayed (in the ‘both of them are crossing their fingers behind their backs’ sort of way) - it isn’t until Vex realizes just how brutal MF!Pap’s true plan is that Vex reveals everything

Big wholesome-teamwork-at-last and blowout fight moment when the guys join together to beat MF!Pap’s veritable army after he successfully drags them all through the portal to his own world - the guys were an accident, but MF!Pap is nothing if not quick on his feet... how on earth will they get out of this one~?

UF, SF, and HF Sans (Red, Sable, and Hickory for me)

This one might seem like an odd dynamic but it’s fascinating to me okay - Red and Hickory are dangerously similar in so many ways, but despite all the fights Red realizes just how much he has in common w/ Sable too... reminding him of uncomfortable truths, in this au where he’s semi-estranged from his brother on the surface for Complicated Reasons

Hickory and Sable end up as a surprisingly killer (literally woops) duo - same hat re: certain emotional traumas :c

ScienceFell!Sans is the wrench in the works here - a mirror to all the flaws for all the guys in different ways (Red abandoning his previous path, where he could’ve achieved so much as a researcher/scientist; Hickory, the same, plus added ‘a whole version of me’, because Hickory was still on the science path when he got his injury; and for Sable, both half a reminder of his brother, and half a vision of what his father always wanted him to be, but he was never cracked up to be) - and ScienceFell!Sans is a damn smooth operator on top of being a literal genius - he manipulates it to where Reader loses her job... but he’s able to get her a job as his assistant... uh oh

US, SF, and HF Pap (Cider, Rus, and Birch for me)

Three lads that can’t gd be honest with their feelings to the umpteenth degree, oh gods. For real though, an interesting dynamic - they’d actually fight way less, so a lot of their conflict would be exploring socio-cultural differences, personal self-esteem/worth issues, and their secret selfishness in wanting Reader to themselves while also ‘knowing’ they’re no good-

Wrench in the works here is MafiaFell!Pap again- in this one though he actually works himself into the ‘main’ group, even more effective by getting them a bigger apartment (but not too suspiciously ostentatious...), ‘finds employment’, etc.... but the whole time is plotting to take Reader back with him

They’re all betrayed, so different layers of pain here, and he almost succeeds because of it - the other guys lose so much faith in themselves (after all, what one ‘version’ of them is able to do...) they almost lose Reader - but thanks to MF!Pap being around more there’s more Reader’s cottoned on to, so is able to evade for long enough to break free the separately jailed/etc guys and snap them out of it, cue big fight, esp once they get Birch free 👀

--

... all that said, just go read Aggre for your sweet sweet fix of this variety, Llama knocked it out of the park with that fic <3

[asgardianthot]

New Firsts (Sam Wilson x Bucky Barnes)

Summary: There’s many things Bucky hasn’t done since the last century, and many others he hasn’t done in the new one.

Words: 3988

Warnings: smut (PowerBottom!Sam)

The vegan place was only half-crowded, allowing the heroes to enjoy a peaceful meal with only one request for a picture. Sam and Bucky had been on a long spree of trying things Bucky hadn’t had the opportunity of doing since he woke up from the Winter Soldier, and it was going too well for Sam’s taste.

You’re only trying things you know you’ll like, he insisted before Bucky finally agreed to blindly follow Sam to a place he didn’t necessarily want to visit.

Only through that method did Sam accomplished his need of getting Bucky to try vegan meat, because Sam Wilson was a health freak, as Bucky put it, and he was a sucker for vegan places altogether. So he dragged the supersoldier downtown, no matter if Bucky didn’t get the point of eating meat that's not meat if you can eat meat. He even teased Sam for being a fake vegetarian, but when the order of a falafel mix patty with a side of fries landed in front of him, he stopped complaining. It did look like a fine burger, which was a point in Sam’s favor regarding his enthusiasm for spreading the word: plant-based food is just as good, Bucky, and it’s healthier.

A few silent bites from both of them, and Bucky had already decided he liked the blessed fake hamburger, but he was more focused on the spectacle that was contemplating Sam eat.

He was sloppy, and concentrated, and when he got ketchup all over his chin, Bucky couldn’t help but stare with cherishing eyes.

"Told you I loved these, stop judging." Sam said, his wording muffled by the food in his mouth.

A smile claimed Bucky’s features, "I'm not judging."

Sam took a bite, still pretending to ignore Bucky’s intense sight, "Ah-huh?" he swallowed in order to speak properly. "Then what is it?"

Sam’s reaction only made Bucky feel more aggressive butterflies in his stomach, because Sam had such a diverse spectrum of charm. He was charming in the morning, sleepy and forcing himself to be active because nobody dare say I’m not a morning person. He was charming in his fight gear, the goggles and everything, he was extra charming in a suit and tie, and he was charming when he wasn’t allowed to enjoy his meal in peace, all cranky and stuffing his face. The fact that Bucky was utterly and dangerously in love with him had never been so loud.

He raised his eyebrows like he couldn’t believe himself, "Fuck, I really love you."

The words had Sam choking on his burger. Bucky laughed to himself while Sam coughed, going back to his lunch with exceptional carefreeness. Meanwhile, Sam cleaned his mouth with a napkin and sat back on his chair as he finished chewing.

"You mean that?" he finally looked up at the man.

"Yeah, of course." Bucky replied like it was no big deal.

One of the many things roaming Sam’s cloudy mind was that this was the least romantic setup possible, and so of course Bucky would just spill the words right there. His internal reactions varied from ‘fuck this guy’ to ‘fuck, I love him too’. And although his insides churned with giddiness, he managed to focus back on eating with a huge grin on his face.

"So, better than real meat?" he returned to the original teasing.

Bucky acted as if he’d already forgotten about the former subject and followed along.

He narrowed his eyes in indecision, "I wouldn't go that far."

"Well, it's better for you."

The pair continued arguing over food and heath, and it was a discussion Sam was bound to win, but Bucky refused to give Sam so much credit because in his eyes, he was too perfect already, so he didn’t need another win.

-

"I'm not doing social media." Bucky snapped back at Sam.

As they sat on the couch, legs crossed and facing each other, Sam kept bothering him and asking for his phone with an obnoxious hand gesture.

“Just admit you don’t know how to use it.” He chuckled.

“Sam, I can hack a computer mainframe.” Barnes lowered his head with seriousness, “I think I can manage a phone.”

“You can plug in a pendrive the right way and let it to the hacking for you, that’s not the same thing.” Sam taunted about something that wasn’t entirely false, then asked for the phone until Bucky handed it to him with an exaggerated eye roll, “What do you use this for?”

Barnes shrugged, “I call you. That’s pretty much it.” He confessed before going back to his offended part, “See? I don’t need social media.”

“So you could be using a senior citizen phone.”

“That’s rude.”

“You’re old.”

With that being said, Sam broke the joking with a kiss he planted on Bucky’s lips. Bucky laughed into it a little, kind of breaking character, and gave into the way Sam slipped his tongue in. they only realized their bodies were drawing closer and their breaths were getting heavier when Sam’s hand travelled to Bucky’s thigh in a way it hadn’t before. The Falcon stopped himself abruptly.

"I need to ask something."

Bucky sat back, giving him the physical room to be open, "Shoot."

"Have you ever, uh...?"

"I'm not a virgin, Samuel." He interrupted with offense.

Wilson let the low laugh claim him as he faced down, "That's not what I'm asking."

"It sounds like you are." Bucky relied on that offended tone like he was being accused of something that was actually bad.

Sam looked up and pressed his lips together to ease his amused smile, but eventually, he had to force himself to look serious, "I mean with a man. Have you?"

"Oh." Barnes scratched the back of his neck, "I've- I uh, I've had my fair share of... experiences." He stared into Sam’s eyes, waiting for a response.

Sam frowned, "What does that mean?"

Bucky couldn’t deny anymore the fact that he was struggling with the subject. He didn’t want to seem inexperienced, but the truth is, he was. And if Sam needed him to be experienced then he would disappoint, and he wanted nothing more than treating Sam like he deserved to be treated, when the timing was right.

"That I've never... you know.” He looked away, “Not 'cause I don't wanna, I've never really thought about it? I dunno if I'd be into it. But I'm willing to try-"

"I'm gonna stop you right there.” Sam cut his rambling short, “I don't wanna fuck you like you think I want you to… I was sort of hoping you'd top me."

"Oh. Okay." The response settling him a lot more, Bucky shrugged nonetheless, "Well, I haven't done that either. I wouldn't... I mean, I don't know-"

"I can show you. So long as you really want to do it. We don't have to."

Bucky thought that that was probably how it’s supposed to feel. When you’re with someone you really love and they really love you back, it feels comfortable and it feels safe. With Sam, he was willing to try anything.

He licked his lips with concealed nervousness before replying truthfully, "I'd like that. Soon."

-

The next time the twist in their bellies caught them, they were cuddling to a Star Wars marathon. They’d run out of snacks hours ago, and were now just lying in each other’s embrace, in their pajamas. Although Bucky was really enjoying the saga, the sci-fi nerd that he was, they were both starting to believe a whole marathon hadn’t been the best idea.

"How many more of these?" Bucky asked, mildly complaining.

"Like...” Sam counted in his head, “Four."

"How do they keep making so many Star Wars? You'd think they'd run out of plots eventually."

"There're full decades between each trilogy." Sam defended the franchise.

"I wouldn't come up with these new storylines if you gave me half a century.” Bucky reckoned, and it was a matter of seconds before he realized something that would add some terribly dark humor to the sentence, “And I had half a century on ice to come up with 'em."

Unfortunately, the bad joke didn’t receive much praise. In fact, Sam remained silent, trying to think of a good response as he tensed up a little.

"Sorry.” Bucky looked down, a small grin of regret appearing, “No joking about it, I know."

"No, it's fine.” Sam intended to prevent Bucky from feeling bad about it; he had every right to process his trauma in any way that he wished, so in an attempt to ease some of that sour feeling he knew Bucky had in his stomach, he kissed the man’s knuckles with care, “It's your bruise to pick at. So long as it's funny to you."

Barnes felt safe enough to be honest with Sam at all costs. That didn’t mean he didn’t feel wrong from time to time.

That’s how he felt, an awkward smile drawn on his lips as he shook his head lightly, "It wasn't.” He let out a nervous chuckle, “Don’t know why I said that."

Sam gave him some mental space by refraining from any further comment. He proceeded to concentrate on the movie in order to drop the subject, but after a few seconds of bothering silence, he was pretty sure the sour feeling in Bucky’s gut wasn’t dissipating. When he turned to face him, he saw clear discomfort, which is why he turned off the TV. Bucky didn’t take his eyes off the now black screen.

"Hey." Wilson practically purred as he placed a finger under Bucky’s chin.

It was almost instant, Bucky’s distressed look turning into a much calmer one when his eyes met Sam’s.

"You breathe through it, 'member?"

Barnes nodded and took a breath, before grabbing a gentle hold of Sam’s face and kissing him on the cheek; a deep and grateful kiss.

"You're not feeling okay?" Wilson asked.

“No, I am. I'm good.” Barnes said truthfully, “Thank you."

They both returned to a cuddling position, Bucky holding Sam tight to his chest and running a thumb up and down Sam’s temple. The latter didn’t want to shut his eyes, no matter how much he was enjoying that simple yet perfect moment. He wanted to take everything in for a second. If he could stay like that for days without the need of food or drink, he would. Feeling far too content and cherished, Wilson wrapped his arms around Bucky’s waist in a rush of adoration, then buried his face in Bucky’s chest to plant his lips against his clothed torso.

"I love you."

Shivers ran down Bucky’s spine, before a joyful smile escaped him as he shut his eyes to enjoy the way Sam dropped childish little kisses on his chest and pec. It wasn’t long until something took over his body, something powerful that had him accommodating into a position where he could kiss Sam.

He slipped his tongue in and let it twirl against Sam’s, seizing the opportunity to drag up Sam’s body with an embrace that helped him pin the man down to the bed. Sam hummed in content, receiving Bucky’s coddling and the way he seemed to have lost his thoughts in the kiss. Suddenly, Sam felt the expected lump in Bucky’s pants grow hard, yet he thought it was best not to mention it, in order to keep the whole situation pressure-free. That was until Bucky decided to drag up his legs and straddle Sam’s waist rather enthusiastically, for the way he started moaning into the kiss after the smallest friction informed Sam of his lover’s intentions.

Sam withdrew his face so he could break the kiss, earning a much focused and very lustful look from Bucky.

"You, uh...?" Sam mumbled the half-assed question.

As a response, Bucky kissed his neck and hummed in absolute approval. He knew he wasn’t coming off too dignified, but too desperate instead, but he didn’t mind. As long as he had Sam’s skin against his. His hands roamed Sam’s neck and shoulders and jaw and face, exploring every bit of exposed skin that could provide Sam with some amount of pleasure. When Bucky’s hips sunk down on Sam’s, the latter let out a censured moan.

It suddenly came to Bucky that he hadn’t verbally confirmed Sam’s willingness, and although he was pretty damn sure Sam wanted to do this more than he allowed himself to display –so he wouldn’t make Bucky feel bad if he decided to change his mind-, he thought to himself that he still had to ask. When he sat back on his calves and placed a tentative finger above the string of Sam’s sweatpants, he gave him the prettiest look Sam had ever seen.

“Do you... want to?” Bucky found himself pretty ignorant when it came to phrasing, which kicked some insecurity back into his pounding head.

Sam offered him a sweet smile, “Yes, of course. I’m just making sure you’re not getting carried away, ‘s all. I want you to be comfortable.”

Bucky planted another kiss onto Sam’s lips before going back into frantic mode.

“I am.” He panted into his mouth, reaching down to undo the knot holding Sam’s pants up.

He only sat back again when he had total freedom to lower the hems and free the painful erection that had grown inside Sam’s underwear. He could tell Sam was holding back, by the look of the trapped member, and when he lowered the boxers as well, nothing could stop Bucky from grabbing a desperate hold of Sam’s groin.

Sam sat straighter, propping himself up on his elbows and gestured for Bucky to come closer. As he kissed the latter tenderly, the man who hadn’t had sex in a while slid his hand up and down Sam’s shaft, using his pre-cum as some sort of lube. He’d definitely had a fair share of experiences, Wilson thought.

With the slow pace Bucky followed to stroke him, Sam found his breath picking up his own pace. He laid back and let the pleasure seep through him, but a few seconds later, he was caught up by the movement of Bucky shifting own lower on the bed. he lifted Sam’s shirt to gain access to his stomach, which he began kissing.

"Oh.” Sam was vocal about his surprise when realizing how fast Bucky was going, “Okay."

Barnes’ kisses drifted from Sam’s belly to his hipbones in the blink of an eye, and that’s when Sam noticed the lack of spontaneity and natural progression in his lover’s acts.

"Okay.” He made him stop, “Dude."

Bucky looked up, wondering.

"You trying to prove something?" Sam asked with no inhibitions whatsoever.

Bucky’s expression made it seem like he was shocked that Sam would even ask, "Yeah, that I'm not a virgin." He explained, as if it was obvious.

Wilson let out a laugh, not intending to be mean, but genuinely amused by the fact Bucky would think about that.

"I believe you. You can stop the demonstration."

The positive affirmation soothed Bucky’s concerns about not being smooth enough, and so he nodded with a grin right before launching back onto Sam’s lips.

"I, uh, I wanna do it." He confessed in a low tone.

Sam's tummy did a flip, "Alright then." He did his best to hide his excitement.

"I mean it.”

“I know.” Sam grabbed Bucky’s chin with softness and forced him to look directly into his eyes, "Double check?"

Barnes was unable to hide the big eye roll that took over him. Sam had to know by now how desperate he was to get laid. It had been almost a century –not really, but in sexual abstinence time, it felt like it had been the full seventy years- since he’d had sex and he violently needed it. but not with anyone, of course, with the man he loved. With Sam, who knew exactly how to make him feel safe, who knew when to mess with him and when to simply exist by his side, who Bucky adored like he never had before. He had never felt more at home than with him, so yes, having him there, his cock out and still wondering if Bucky wanted to go to town sounded ridiculous.

"Yeah, fucking triple check.” He let out as he held Sam’s face with both hands, “I want you."

That’s all Sam needed, really. Bucky continued to take the initiative because, well, sexual abstinence, and he helped Sam out of his pants before removing his own shirt swiftly, while Sam mimicked him. Their mouths collided angrily as Sam positioned himself to straddle Bucky, and the latter gripped his hips and pushed his weigh down on his own agonizing erection.

"Oh, god." He shut his eyes without processing the words coming out of him.

Sam let himself be manhandled and enjoyed it. He bit his lip as he propped himself up, both palms down on each side of Bucky's resting head. It was when he reached for the lube in the nightstand that Bucky’s confidence began straying away, realizing he didn’t really know what to do next. Luckily, he felt a heavy weight be lifted off his chest when he saw Sam taking the initiative now. The more experienced man stood up and removed his boxers, and Bucky wanted to admire his lover’s body as a whole, yet he was too worried about what he was supposed to be doing to gawk at it; instead, he took off his own underwear at the speed of light and sat on the bed while Sam got the bottle of lube open.

As Sam went back to his former position, Bucky stared up at him with absolute uncertainty, "What do I...?" he swallowed hard before he could even finish the sentence.

"I'll show you." Sam hushed him.

He proceeded with squirting lube on his palm as he distracted Bucky with a deep, long kiss, and although it blurred Bucky’s vision, he understood that Sam was prepping himself when a lubed finger guided his metal hand to Sam’s behind. Without any words, Sam showed Bucky how to push in, and when Barnes separated his bionic fingers and Sam’s hole gave in, the moan that came out of Sam's lips made Bucky think he wasn’t so lost after all. He was doing it right. So he worked his lover open, causing him to start panting and rest his mouth against Bucky's cheekbone, toning sweet little noises and hitting the inexperienced man with his hot breath.

"Fuck, Sammy, you feel so good." Bucky admitted, pleasantly surprised.

After a minute or two, Sam sit up and got the same hand lubed up again, this time to coat Bucky's dick. The feeling made him shiver, but he managed to sit straight for Sam to tease his own entrance with Bucky’s tip. Bucky felt the butterflies in his tummy, and that was when Sam began slowly sliding down Bucky's length, until he could fully sit down; Bucky held him tight, his arm wrapped entirely around Sam’s torso, and a groan escaped him from the amazing feeling of having him like that. Being inside him but also being able to embrace him completely was almost too much.

"God." He trembled slightly.

"God, Bucky." Sam mimicked him unintentionally, feeling whole.

Wilson rested his head on Bucky's shoulder while Bucky's rested back in the air, his hands keeping a tender grip on Sam's nape. They both submerged into the stillness, enjoying the intense moment until Bucky’s head was less dizzy and his head lulled closer to Sam’s. The latter’s eyes were still closed, and the slightest movement of their hips made him gasp.

"I love you." He moaned out.

He didn’t even give Bucky enough time to say it back, because he immediately started riding his dick up and down.

The lightheaded sensation returned to Bucky as he felt completely taken by Sam. He was claiming him, getting himself off on his cock, pushing him back on the bed with care until his head hit the pillow. And Bucky allowed Sam to take him, he just watched the man prop himself up by planting his palms on Bucky’s chest.

Sam was riding him like it was too easy, and it let him mesmerized and amazed, all the while the lower half of his body felt under both a rough pressure and a devious release.

“Is this- agh.” Sam groaned, unable to focus on his words when he moved his hips so intensly, “This good?”

“Yeah, Sammy, it’s good.” Bucky spoke in barely a breath, taking one of Sam’s hands and kissing it.

Then Sam took that hand of his and drew a finger across Bucky’s temple to his cheek, dragged them along his chin and mouth until Bucky’s lips gaped, which he didn’t know if it was because of Sam's fingertips or his incapacity to say anything, given how immersed in pleasure he was. When Sam withdrew his hand from his features, he knew the answer, because his mouth was still gaped open, and the smallest moan came out with special effort.

Still taking what he needed from Bucky, Sam intertwined his fingers with the bionic ones, pinning Bucky’s to the mattress right above his head. It helped Sam push himself forward and ride him faster, before placing a sloppy and breathy kiss on Bucky’s half open mouth. When the latter emitted something entirely incomprehensible, Sam drew back to let him talk.

"Fuck. Sam, I'm gonna-"

"Wait." The man acting as the ultimate power bottom cut him off.

He slowed down, sat straighter and stroked himself out, made himself cum with a few drawn moans.

That, was the icing in the cake. Bucky felt him tighten around his dick, he felt the hot liquid on his chest and he knew he couldn’t hold it back anymore. He lost it, chest heaving up as he came and his sounds choked back too deep into his throat to even go past his parted mouth. It wasn’t until he heard Sam breathe out in recovery that he let out a noise that sounded more like he was in pain than in pleasure. But it was pleasure, good god it was pleasure.

Both men rode down with heavy breathing, but Barnes was in a state of shock. The instant that Sam found his face, though, Bucky grinned. He had just shown Bucky a goddamn millennial treasure.

Sam kissed his collarbone, still breathless, "All good?"

Bucky ran a hand down his face while he regained his breath.

"Shit, yeah. Great."

"Better than your fair share of experiences?" Sam teased.

It drew a dumb smile on Bucky’s face, his eyes still closed as if he worried that if he opened them, it would all have been a dream. He hugged Sam tight to his chest until they were both lying down.

He shook his head with amusement, "I can't even remember those, suddenly."

Sam would eventually pat himself on the shoulder for teaching Bucky how to top him, for it seemed like it was now Bucky's favorite hobby. He'd hop in the shower and smother Sam with neck kisses until he became jelly under his touch. He'd stroke him, suck him off before dinner. Sometimes he'd start prepping Sam only to realize he just wanted to finger him to oblivion and get his cock to cum untouched. That turned out to be his favorite.

But sometimes he just wanted to do him from behind and smother him. He'd relish Sam's shoulders, his nape, his back, kiss every inch of skin he could reach while doing him slowly and never forgetting to let him know how loved he was. Sam felt like he'd cracked the Da Vinci code by showing Bucky the wonders of having sex with the man you love. And Sam, he worshipped his man right back.

[danyka-fendyr]

Absence of Good - 5

Chapter 5:Head Above Water

Hey everybody guess who’s back from hiatus! Okay, so this is a bit of a long one, which I’m actually rather pleased about. I took a break to let my creative muse simmer, and I think it turned out pretty good! Hotch kind of gets more of a spotlight in this chapter, which is important to me because I want to emphasize reader’s connection with the other characters and not just Spencer. What can I say? I’m a sucker for slowburn. Anyway, hope it was worth the wait! (This hasn’t been proofread so it might not be.)

Taglist: @dreamwritesimagines​ @rhabakoli​

AoG Taglist: @pancakefancake​ @prettyboyspenerrr​

Wordcount: 3844

Warnings: Generally disturbing themes. Mentions of death, sexual assault, drowning and other dark themes.

        “War is what happens when language fails.”

                 -Margaret Atwood

        You had never been more terrified of an assignment than this one. And that was saying something.

Through everything that had happened to you in your line of work, there had always been an element of a safety net. Despite all the danger, despite the horrors you saw every day, there was some comfort in the knowledge of two things. The first was that you would get to go home at the end of the day to your loving bed. The second was that you were not the target. You were not the target.

“Are you sure about this?” You asked Hotch, trying to hide the slight wavering in your voice.

“You’ve seen the pictures, Agent Y/L/N. I don’t think I need to tell you how sure of this I am.”

You swallowed thickly, holding the glossy images between your fingers. You hated the texture of them between your hands, had never liked the sticky grip of a fresh printed photograph stealing your fingerprints, so easy to mark up. It stressed you out. These photos did a little more than stress you out though.

“How…this is…”

“Uncanny,” Hotch finished for you.

You two were alone in his office, which should have meant bad news to you on any day, but you had hoped for the best. You had thought maybe he was going to tell you off for helping Reid prank Morgan. Perhaps he had actually called you in to tell you some good news. That had been too happy to hope for though.

“Yes. Uncanny,” you echoed.

“The message seems clear enough though.”

“Say it,” you whispered.

Hotch looked reluctant, like the words would sound almost as bad coming from his as they would from you.

“This unsub is obsessed with you.”

Every girl looked exactly like you. Some of the more recent kills had even been made to look more like you. Hair dyed, styled. One with colored contacts to turn her eyes your same vivid hue. No one could blame you for the single tear that slipped down your face and landed on the dark, lemon scented wood of Hotch’s desk. No one could blame you for your complete inability to look away from all of your dopplegangers.

No…not dopplegangers. Replicas. Created to be perfect mirror images of you.

You felt like you were going to throw up.

“Who-“ You cut yourself off.

“We don’t know.” You had never heard Hotch speak so softly, his voice a gentle murmur. “Agent Rossi and myself are the only two who know about this right now. We thought we should tell you before the rest of the team. We’ve been looking through old cases trying to find someone who escaped but we haven’t met with any luck. Which leads us to believe…”

“That it’s someone I know in my personal life.”

“Most likely.” Hotch’s face was grim, his mouth a thin line.

It aged him, you realized. Every time one of the members of his team was in mortal danger, the years seemed to pile on, making him seem 10, 20, 30 years older than he was. It was jolting to realize that Hotch was not all that old, not in the grand scheme of things. That to Rossi, he was young, comparatively. For a moment you felt you were closer in maturity to Jack, his son, than you were to SSA Aaron Hotchner.

“I’ll go tell the rest of the team,” you whispered.

You tried to move, but you couldn’t seem to do it. For a moment you simply did not have the willpower to rise up out of that chair, an island keeping you afloat just off the continental shelf of the ocean that was Hotch’s desk, a buffer between you two. The terror held you in place, eyes still glued to those pictures, to the broken bodies in them.

“You don’t have to,” Hotch offered, throwing you a lifeline. “Agent Rossi and I can handle it.”

You should have taken it. Should have fallen to your knees and blubbered out your gratefulness. That’s what any sensible person would do. Anyone who had not read too many fantasy stories of heroines who put on a brave face and too many textbooks about how the shock could make you numb to things. If there was anyone willing to play their own brain it was you, and right now you were ready to play it like a fiddle that would be too shocked to process your own grief and terror.

“No. I can do it.”

You wiped your face clean, unashamedly whipping out a compact mirror to make sure you still looked presentable. You didn’t have to bother hiding anything from Hotch. He could care less how much or how little you cared about your appearance, as long as you remained professional. You had always liked that about him. How comfortable he was to be around when it came down to it. How trustworthy.

You didn’t look like you had been crying. That was good. You would lose the respect of 75% of the office if you did, and that was a convenient thing to have sometimes.

“Let’s go,” you said, finally finding the willpower to stand.

You didn’t look at the photos. You couldn’t. Not if you wanted to hold on to the shellshock, the numbness that would buoy you through this briefing.

The bullpen wasn’t ready for your announcement. You could see them all gathered around Spence’s desk, speculating. You knew what they were doing because you had done the same thing on a few occasions. They were trying to figure out why Hotch had called you in, laughing to themselves, smiling. You almost couldn’t bear to tell them, to wipe the smiles off their faces.

You took a deep breath, squaring your shoulders.

Spencer was the first to notice. To see the stone look carved into marble features and to freeze, his amber eyes going dark. It didn’t take the others long to notice, to put together your clenched jaw and Spencer’s tense posture. If there was one thing they knew better than serial killers, it was the face of a bearer of bad news.

“What happened?” JJ asked.

“We have a case. Briefing room, now.” You got there before Hotch could.

There was no hesitation, only an icy edge to the air as you all headed to the briefing room, closing the door behind you. You let Hotch do the setup, the man knowing you well enough to know that you wanted those pictures behind you. You couldn’t look at them while you told the team. It was bad enough seeing Garcia’s gasp as she pieced it together, and Spencer…You could barely look at Spencer, first to pick up the pieces, first to figure things out, first to have a thousand emotions flicker across his face. He was angry, he was sad, he was sick, he was terrified.

You tried to start, but the words stuck in your throat, so Hotch gave you a push.

“We’ve all dealt with unsubs of a more personal nature in the past. As you can all see, this is, unfortunately, one of those times.”

“This unsub has a connection to me. Obviously.” You tried to keep the words from shaking, gripping the edge of the table to hide the tremors running through you while coaching yourself to get a grip. “At first, he chose victims who look like me. He’s become more manic though, with less time between kills. It’s no longer enough to wait for girls who look like me. He’s desperate enough that he doesn’t care what they look like, but meticulous enough to model them after me. Additionally, he is still careful enough to pick girls with similar lifestyles. Low-risk victims with strong educational backgrounds, all the same age as me.”

The words were starting to run dry as it felt like the world might slip out from under your feet. You were sure your legs were going numb, sure that someone was freezing all the blood inside your body in some kind of twisted science experiment. You knew he had frozen the bodies, kept them for a while to do things you didn’t want to think about right now. Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, you had to make it through this briefing, had to make the words keep coming, but how.

“We believe this unsub is obsessed with Agent Y/L/N, and knowing this we can only assume that as his cooling off period decreases the danger to Y/N increases. There is some good news though. The unsub seems to be deteriorating, which could lead him to make a mistake.” Hotch took over.

“How did so many of these bodies turn up without us noticing?” JJ asked, horror in her eyes.

“The unsub crossed state lines. He’s clever, very much so. Medical reports indicate that he keeps the bodies frozen for a period of time before dumping them, and there are signs of sexual assault, though it appears to have been done with a blunt object. Some of the bodies he brought across state lines, which only further complicates things.”

“But we’re going to catch this psycho, right Hotch?”

Morgan’s righteous anger was normally calming, but now not even he could reach through your panic.

“We’re doing everything in our power to track down this unsub now that it has been brought to our attention. I fought for them to let our team have this case, so I expect you all to be at the top of your game. Agent Y/L/N, for obvious reasons, will not be apart of the investigation, but rather will be in protective custody.”

You swiveled, your legs nearly giving out beneath you but not quite.

“No she will not be,” you protested.

“This unsub is targeting you directly. The safest place for you to be is-“

“Surrounded by my team. At best, cooped up here. But I refuse to be sidelined and tucked away in some safehouse Hotch. You said I probably know this guy. So who better to help track him down than me?” You appealed to Hotch’s sense of reason, that sense that always won out with him. “You need me for this Hotch. You can’t find this guy without me.”

Just when you thought Hotch would agree, Spencer stood from the table, slamming a hand down with more aggression than you thought him capable of.

“Absolutely not!”

You felt the blood rush back to your extremities as it rose to color your face, Spencer’s protest bringing you back to yourself. You clenched your fists, turning the full might of your own fury on him even as he stared at you with eyes that seemed to blaze with fire.

“Reid, she has a point. She’s the only one who knows the unsub-“

“So we’re just going to use her as bait?” You had never seen Spence so livid, his eyes tearing up with the emotion. “I won’t let you put her in danger like that, Hotch. She shouldn’t be anywhere near this case.”

“I’ll be wherever I need to be, and right now that’s here, Spencer.”

There were few people who could match Dr. Spencer Reid. His mother was one of them, an unstoppable force. The eccentric, immutable Gideon, you had heard, was another. You were the third, fire rising to meet fire, washing out any trace of ice, any danger of drowning that might have existed before this moment, this challenge. There were a lot of people Spencer Reid was good and entitled to boss around, but you were most certainly not one of them.

“It’s too dangerous, I won’t let you-“

“Won’t let me? Well I’ve got news for you Spencer, you’re not my boss. You have no claim over me, no say in what I do or don’t do. I’m helping with this case because if you ever want to find this guy, you need me.”

Spencer looked like he was going to say more, but Rossi interrupted him. A dangerous thing to do for anyone other than Rossi.

“She’s right, kid. I hate to say it almost as much as you do, but she’s right. A case like this, could be anyone. You know that. You also know it’s entirely possible that she’s the only person in the entire world who can connect the dots. We’re not just throwing her to the wolves though. We’ll keep her safe.”

You had never seen Spencer looked so betrayed as he had now, looking first to Rossi, then turning to the rest of the table in a silent plea for support. He found none. Reluctant as the team was, you had made your point.

Turning on his heel, Spencer stormed out of the room. You had half a mind to follow him, but it was Rossi who held you back.

“Let him go. He’ll come back soon. He won’t be able to leave you alone at a time like this.”

You didn’t know where Rossi’s certainty had come from, but you could hear it in his voice, and you decided to trust him on this. After all, you would have to trust your team on a lot until this guy was safely behind bars.

The next few days were taxing, to say the least. You had gone through just about every person you had ever met trying to figure out who the unsub was. People you were close to, people you had barely known, and everything in-between. You were about ready to give up, nearly asleep with your head on Garcia’s desk as she cast her sympathetic gaze your way.

“Honestly, it really could be anybody. Sometimes these guys just see you smile at them once in the street and they’re insane for you. They’re wacky.”

“You can say that again.” You sighed.

You were in an extra bad mood tonight. You and Spencer hadn’t been talking lately, not since your fight over whether you should be involved in this. Despite the fact that you were confined to Garcia’s office and that Hotch wouldn’t so much as let you go home, Spencer’s vow of silence did not lift. It seemed as though he was refusing to condone your involvement in this with words.

Which was just as well, you didn’t need him. That was what you were telling yourself. You were just cranky and on edge because of everything else going on in your life. Heaven only knew you had a right to be.

“Boy genius still not on speaking terms with you?”

To add to your stressors, Garcia had been getting unnervingly good at guessing your thoughts.

“I don’t want to talk about him right now. Any activity from the unsub?” You quickly changed subjects.

“Well I haven’t heard from them in a while, but let me ask my brown sugar.”

Deftly pressing buttons, Garcia dialed Morgan, putting him on speaker so you could hear too.

“Hey baby girl.”

“Hello my gorgeous chocolate thunder. I was wondering, could you perhaps update me on the situation?”

“For you? Anything. We just got done talking to the M.E. about the newest body. Apparently he’s now taken to dressing them up as cheerleaders, presumably in reference to Y/N’s high school cheerleading career. Anyway, not much else has changed about his M.O., nothing we’ve noticed yet anyway-“

“Wait…Morgan…did you just say he’s dressing them up in cheer uniforms?” You asked.

“I sure did. Why? Does that mean something to you?”

“Morgan…I was never a cheerleader.” You felt like all the air had been swept out of your lungs. “I don’t think this is about me.”

The team had all headed back to Quantico at record speeds, made faster by the fact that the unsub had been getting closer and closer to Virginia in his killing sprees. They were now assembled in front of you in the briefing room, but this time you hoped to shed more light on the situation.

“When I was 16, I fell in with a bad crowd. Well, not a bad crowd, but you know. Not my kind of people. I was a quiet book nerd and they were party people. Anyway, I was going through some things and I wanted to be cool, so I let them convince me to go to this party. Long story short, it wasn’t fun. The highlight of the night though, I remember, was this girl. Amber Melfort. She and her boyfriend got into this big fight, and it was obvious he was drunk. He hit her, hit her pretty hard, and she fell. Fell into the pool, and didn’t get back out.

Her boyfriend, as you may have figured out, was not a class act. I think he thought that if she really was dead then if he left her there nobody would know it was him. I don’t really know what he thought, to be honest. Don’t really want to know. Anyway you slice it, that didn’t sit right with me. He walked away, but I dived into the pool, fully clothed, and managed to drag Amber out. Did CPR, got somebody half-sober to call 911. At the end of it all, Amber pulled through and her boyfriend, Matt, got kicked off the football team.”

“No offense, but I’m not sure I see how this is related to the case.” Emily’s eyebrows furrowed.

“Amber was a cheerleader,” I said. “Whatever this is about, it isn’t just about me. It’s also about Amber.”

Emily’s eyes widened in understanding, as did everyone else’s at the table.

“It’s certainly worth looking into. Reid, you and Dave go interview Amber Melfort, find out whatever you can. Morgan, Prentiss, I want you to find the boyfriend and make a house call.”

You all collectively scattered, and you and Garcia went back to researching whatever else you could.

“Alright, looks like Amber lives alone not far from here. Apparently she’s been dating a life guard, irony of all ironies, and according to her social media…Oh, major bummer. Turns out up until a couple months ago they were engaged until she broke it off because he was cheating on her.”

“Poor Amber,” you said.

The girl deserved a break.

“Yeah. Okay, so anyway, she hasn’t had any contact with the boyfriend, Matt, in years. He doesn’t live too near here either, which might be why the killings started further out but seem to be circling in.”

“Any stressors in Matt’s life?”

“Oh beautiful baby doll you know that I already looked and weirdly, I have not come up with much. It would seem that, to all appearances, Matt is living the perfect life. In fact, he even just got married. And other than their status as Facebook friends, he and Amber no longer have any kind of connection. He hasn’t even liked any of her posts in over a year.”

You felt the wind get knocked out of you. “I guess my theory was wrong then.”

“Seems like that might be the case. I’m sorry angel cakes.”

You were more than ready to give up. You had been ready to give up for weeks, but now? Now you were convinced you were going to be drowned and buried in a cheerleading uniform.

It didn’t make sense. All of the signs had pointed to a connection to Amber, right down to the drownings which you hadn’t been able to connect before the cheerleading outfit. You were at your wit’s end when your cellphone began ringing.

You did a double take when you saw the number. Spence rarely called, but right now he was angry with you. It didn’t make any sense for him to call. Unless…maybe he had found something. Heard from Amber that there was someone else who was a potential danger.

You picked up the phone, hoping against all hope, only to be filled with cold fear.

“Y/N, it’s Dave. My phone is dead, but we’re on the way to the hospital. Spencer’s been hurt.”

“I’m on my way.” Screw the unsub, you were not leaving Spencer alone in some stupid hospital.

“Okay. Let me know when you get here.”

When you arrived at the hospital, you found Dave quickly and he explained everything that had happened to you. Amber had been the unsub all along, dealing with her trauma the only way she knew how.

Her fiancé cheating on her had been the stressor. Apparently Matt had been cheating on her way back when and that was what they had been arguing about at the party just before he struck her, nearly dooming her to a watery grave. In a twisted reenactment, she had been playing out her memories by killing not herself, but the girl who had come to save her, all in the hopes of gaining your attention. She had become obsessed with you and with your work, and ultimately it led to her revealing herself and having a shoot-out with Spence.

“Is he okay?”

“The doctors think he’s going to be fine. She only grazed his arm,” Rossi reassured.

You breathed a sigh of relief. “Can I go see him?”

“Yes, I think they’re allowing visitors now.”

You didn’t stay behind to listen to Garcia’s speeches about charts before charging ahead.

“Spence.” You breathed a sigh of relief seeing him awake.

He looked towards you and for the first time in days, a hint of a smile pulled at his mouth.

“Hey,” he said. “Did you bring me Jell-O?”

“No. But I can,” you said, turning to go get some.

“No! I mean, that’s okay. Don’t leave yet.”

He looked so pale under the harsh fluorescent lights of the hospital. A white bandage wrapped around his arm and nearly matched his skin as well as the sheets. The dark marks under his eyes stuck out even harsher for it.

You drifted over to his bedside, taking a hesitant seat in the hard, alcohol scented chair next to his bed.

“Listen…Spence…I’m sorry,” you confessed. “I’ve been stupid. When I heard you were hurt, all I could think about was how if you died I wouldn’t have gotten to tell you…Well, I wouldn’t have been able to tell you that I’m an idiot. You were only trying to protect me, and I’m sorry for not seeing that and respecting it.”

“No, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have gotten so angry at you, shouldn’t have wasted all that time being mad at you for being right. In the end, you were the one who solved the case and the one who saved the day. Even when you aren’t in the field you’re a brilliant agent, and I…I was just worried. I thought maybe I could lose you, and if I did…I don’t want to think about what would happen. So please forgive me for being so selfish and stubborn.”

You smiled softly at him, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

“Forgiven.”

He smiled widely at you, a smile you hadn’t seen since before the threat to your life. “I’ll take that Jell-O now.”

“Coming right up.”

        “The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.”

                 -G.K. Chesterton

[orihara-infobroker]

Ranty rant rant about stuff because this cat just needs to vent.

So I've mentioned this before a few times though I don't really talk about it all that much. One of my on-and-off hobbies is role-playing. Tabletop, live-action, or narrative writing, I pretty much enjoy them all. For similar reasons to why I love writing stories. I like creating characters and worlds. In writing I do all the heavy lifting but role-playing has the unique experience of collaborative storytelling and that adds an element that can be very fun. Also, sometimes it's just fun to play in someone else's sandbox for a change.

Some time ago, a friend invited me to check out a Harry Potter rp site. The site itself is pretty decently setup and it seemed like it could be interesting. I'm not a huge Potter nerd but I've seen the movies and I'm a sucker for fantasy settings. But this isn't the first time I've dipped my toes in the HP universe so I thought that instead of doing the standard Eurocentric character, I'd try something different.

I admit, I'd been working pretty heavily on Shadow and Light at the time so that was strongly influencing my mood insofar as what I wanted to play with. So I submitted the idea of a Japanese character who had grown up in Japan but recently moved to London (thus why I'd be attending Hogwarts). The character's parents were onmyoji, part of a branch family of the Tsuchimikado clan. This clan is somewhat famous for its relation to Abe no Seimei who is arguably the most famous onmyoji in Japanese folklore. I also requested that the character be a metamorph which is a wizard who can change their features. Basically a kind of shape-shifting. Tonks was a metamorph, for reference. In requesting this, I was asked to explain why my family had a metamorph. So I wrote a piece where the character's mom told him the story of Abe no Seimei's mom being a fox that his Dad saved and that there had been stories told of how Abe no Seimei could change his appearance. (Not into a fox. Just change his appearance.) And how sometimes people in the clan would be born with the same ability.

Note that everything I incorporated into this character's backstory is based off actual Japanese mythology and not Harry Potter universe. Harry Potter universe doesn't actually address anything about how magic is done in the East. (And if Rowling ever comes up with anything it'll probably be hideously racist anyway but I digress.)

All of this is important, I promise.

So I was a Japanese pureblood kid raised to become an onmyoji only to end up at Hogwarts by pure misfortune. I thought this would be fun to play, basically a foreign exchange student completely out of his element, not understanding how Western magic works, struggling with having to learn English on top of magic, etc.

Well.

Apparently my idea set all sorts of fires under the admin staff of this site. They were opposed because:

1. They didn't think I knew what I was talking about when I suggested being onmyoji (wherein I proved that I actually know more about onmyoji and Japanese mythology than them.)

2. They didn't have lore on the East therefore they didn't want me making stuff up because it might not mesh with what they might eventually get around to creating somewhere down the road. Even though they had no current plans to develop the Eastern setting. (Yeah. You read that right. I was told... in a role play game... not to make stuff up... which is ironic given that I didn't actually make anything up, just liberally stole from actual Japanese mythology. Further, my character was going to Hogwarts so all of this was just backstory and flavour.)

3. I CANNOT BE RELATED TO ABE NO SEIMEI HE IS LIKE THE JAPANESE MERLIN!!!!!!! (Oh yes. Please. Make more ignorant racist comments at me. From now on I shall refer to Merlin as the English Abe no Seimei. -_- Abe no Seimei, while unlikely to be as mystical as he was made out to be in the stories, was a real person. Merlin was never real. He was always a fictional creation. Further, I never claimed to be related to Abe no Seimei. I claimed to be a branch family of the Tsuchimikado Clan to whom Abe no Seimei was either a member of or the founder of, depending on varying stories. So. Apparently they don't understand how Japanese clans work? Or branch families? No? OK, great. GREAT.)

4. They claimed that my story about the kitsune wasn't appropriate because kitsune were a type of mythical creature and metamorphs are completely human so I can't be "half-fox". Further, one of them claimed I wanted to be "half-demon". (Which is both a grave misinterpretation of what I wrote *and* a completely incorrect assumption on what kitsune are. They are not any kind of demon. And I didn't want to be any kind of half demon or even half fox. It was a story told from a mother to a child, using a classic myth to convey a possible reason why their family sometimes had metamorphs. That's it. Which, if they had understand that whole BRANCH FAMILY thing, they should have definitely realized. But apparently I wasn't clear enough? Ok. Fine, maybe I was too fucking subtle. Still never asked to be half fucking anything. Asked to be a metamorph. That's it.)

5. Labeled me as a problem because of all of this. Which occurred over the course of two conversations and a handful of days. Yeah. YEAH. I'M A FUCKING PROBLEM BECAUSE I TRIED TO BE FUCKING CREATIVE IN THEIR FUCKING SANDBOX AND HAPPENED TO ACTUALLY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I WAS TALKING ABOUT WHICH TURNED OUT TO BE SIGNIFICANTLY MORE THAN THEM.

And it's so frustrating because I was looking forward to playing with my friend on this site and I genuinely felt like they were targeting me because I didn't choose a basic bitch character and I had the nerve to ask questions when they tried to contest it. Like, it wasn't a genuine conversation where two sides explained their opinions. It was literally me trying to propose something and being treated like a child when I was repeatedly trying to explain where they were misinterpreting the things I had written because they didn't know Japanese history/mythology.

I've been a gamemaster/storyteller for games before. Over the course of my time role-playing, I've run four Larps, a handful of tabletops and hosted a couple online rps. My Discord server is technically a role play server that I moderate ( currently its mostly just chatting, not a lit of rp but it was designed to be rp lol). I know how these things work. And that just makes this more frustrating because my impulse, as a storyteller, has always been to work together with players to create engaging stories. I've always been willing to accept the potential of new ideas because the whole point of fucking role-playing is getting to exercise your imagination and tell stories together. So from my perspective, I'd be more than happy to work with them on this. I'd be more than happy to share what I know and talk about what could work or not work. But they don't seem to want to engage in that way and it makes me sad, frustrated, disappointed. Especially because I had really been looking forward to playing with my friend and now it seems that this whole thing is doomed to failure.

All because I got creative and asked questions. :/

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #218: Born Again (And Again and Again...)

April, 1982

Avengers fill-in issues are so weird. Beast isn’t even here and things are weird as heck.

And geez this is an unsubtle cover. And for once, not a lie.

Although Yellowjacket being in the roster rectangle is one.

I do like that the And Again... And Again... wraps off the edge of the page.

Y’know, I don’t know that this is a fill-in. It says Jim Shooter co-plotted. Then again, there’s a regular creative team box instead of an essay. So co-plotted probably means Shooter offered some adjustments to the plot but mostly let J.M. DeMatteis get on with it.

This feels like a weird time for it, honestly? The fall of Yellowjacket arc is kind of humming along leisurely already. With setup in 212, the fall in 213, fallout in 214, then a pause in 215 and 216 for the Molecule Man plot, and finally picking back up with Hank in 217 to see him fall further. And then there’s going to be a stretch of issues before we pick up again.

But it is what it is and what it is is a weird fill-in.

The issue starts where a young boy just walks right up to the door of Avengers Mansion and rings the doorbell.

Somewhere, Henry Peter Gyrich is shaking his fist. Where are the door tentacles? He fought for those door tentacles!

The young boy is here to see the Avengers and won’t take a “the Avengers are quite busy today” for an answer.

This boy: “This is a matter of life and death!!”

He remains quite insistent that he see the Avengers.

Luckily, Wasp (who I guess is not quite busy today?) shows up and decides to let this boy in for the best reason of all.

Wasp: “Turn away an adorable well-spoken little boy like you? Never! I know you were just doing your job, Jarvis -- but I’m a sucker for a pretty face! I think I’ll give him the grand tour.”

Wasp, pls.

But what Wasp says goes, so Jarvis just shrugs and goes back to the chocolate mousse cake that he was making.

Leaving Wasp to deal with this unruly child.

Wasp: “What’s your name, sweetie?”

This boy: “Sweetie?! Madam -- I am not your ‘sweetie!’ As I explained to your butler, this is a matter of gravest importance! Now take me to Captain America and the others!”

Wasp: “Just one minute, young man! I know you’re excited about being here -- but that is no excuse for rudeness! I think you ought to --”

This boy: “Madam -- SHUT UP!!”

And then he shoves her and runs off.

Pretty sure he shoves her in the boob too. You can’t fool me by changing some letters, SFX that says BOONT.

Anyway, very rude, this boy.

Meanwhile, in the Avenger’s lab we get to see what the Avengers are so quite busy with.

Thor is holding up an incredibly heavy piece of machinery while Iron Man does some welding on the bottom of it.

Thor is also complaining about holding up an incredibly heavy piece of machinery because Iron Man has been at it for about an hour. Do they not have a jack or something that can do the job instead?

Also, the big thing is apparently an “inter-spatial monitor.” I assume it watches the space between spaces.

Cap is also here, being quite busy leaning against the wall and also complaining about how long this is taking.

He’s already worked out for three hours today and he wants to get on with the Avengers meeting.

And then This Boy runs into the room exclaiming “Avengers! I’ve got to talk to you!!” startling Iron Man just when he was finishing up the welding.

Startled Iron Man accidentally blasts Thor’s foot causing the God of Thunder to lose his grip on the inter-spatial monitor out of surprise.

Cap realizes Iron Man could get crushed underneath it and springs into action, tackling Iron Man out from under the monitor. The choreography almost makes sense.

Iron Man: “Thanks, Cap -- but I could have handled that myself, you know!”

Captain America: “I know, old friend -- but I didn’t want to... take any chances!”

And then they shake hands in a display of what good friends they are. Ha ha this is ironic in hindsight. But also: is DeMattias trying to ship them? This feels like a very shippable moment.

Look at Cap’s little smile.

Anyway.

Thor scoops up This Boy and scolds him for scurrying around and distracting thunder gods.

Thor: “Whoe’ver thou art -- Thor hath half a mind to give thee a sound spanking!”

This Boy: “I... don’t think I’d live through it!”

Hah.

Thor: “Worry not, child -- Thor shall not strike thee!”

So then Wasp shows up so the gang is all here for this boy to explain why he wanted to talk to the Avengers so badly.

This Boy: “Listen to me -- all of you! I am not a child! I am a man cursed with eternal life! I am a man who cannot die -- and I need your help!”

Iron Man: “Easy, son -- why don’t you tell us your name so that we can get in touch with your parents. I’m sure they’d like to know where you are...”

This boy: “My parents?! Fool! I was afraid this would be your reaction! But I must make you understand!”

And then he pulls out a gun.

Points it at his own head, like on the cover. And shoots himself.

Good grief.

It all happens way too quickly for the Avengers to react. Or maybe the audacity just stunned them.

HEY I THOUGHT THE AVENGERS’ SECURITY SYSTEM SCANNED FOR WEAPONS.

God, Gyrich would be rolling in his grave, if he were dead.

Anyway, as Wasp is crying into Cap’s star that a child just died, Cap goes hey look something weird is happening with the child corpse.

The child corpse just disintegrates into ash and fades away. Thus clearing the Avengers from having to explain this to anyone.

And more bizarrely, where the ash was-

I... I guess the way to explain it is that a fetus just sort of develops into a baby and then back into this boy right in front of the Avengers’ eyes.

Why is this happening

I do like the “Now do you believe me?” “They do...” caption.

Thor: “Methinks it be time for an explanation!”

YES. EXACTLY RIGHT.

This boy finally introduces himself as Morgan MacNeil Hardy.

So. This guy. Is an established character. He was established first in Spider-Woman #33 where he was Turner D. Century’s foster dad. Turner D. Century is a guy who just super loves the early 1900s because Morgan MacNeil Hardy raised him only in the values of that time period for some reason.

I’m getting off track, really. But this is a rabbit hole.

So. Even though Hardy seemed to die in Spider-Woman #33, he came back in Captain America #264. He invented something called the psi-augmentor to alter reality and make America moral again.

He did this by plugging four people into his machine, two of which I’m decently sure were a racist and a Nazi.

Cap intervened because some of the changes to reality were causing racism and Nazi stuff to happen and then when Hardy tried to wipe Captain America out of existence, he almost wiped out America instead. Because Cap is the symbol of America. Or maybe the machine missed the Captain part. Either or.

But Hardy was too patriotic to allow America to be retgonned so he drew the energy back and then died.

SHIELD came and mopped up the mess Cap left and buried the dead Hardy. But then three days later the man rose from the dead as this boy.

And in fact, the jolt from the reality altering machine freed Hardy’s repressed memories of all the lives he has lived.

Hardy: “I have lived innumerable lives, died innumerable deaths, yet time and again by body has somehow regenerated itself -- grown back to this youthful form! But, until my current incarnations, I’d believed every lifetime to be the first! Each identity to be the only identity! Hear me: since the dawn of time I have seen life as no other man has ever seen it -- as no other man should have to see it! And I am tired... infinitely tired. All I want now -- is the peace of death.”

Shot in the dark but you may be a Time Lord, Hardy.

Anyway, as dark as an infinitely regenerating suicidal child is, it gets worse. The psi-augmentor also dicked up whatever process makes Hardy regenerate. It took him three days to regenerate after the psi-augmentor incident. Now he’s back up in minutes.

Hardy: “I can’t bear much more of this! I can’t! That’s why you’ve got to help me! You’re all so wise -- so strong! You’ve the greatest super-scientific devices in the world at your disposal! Surely you can find out why this is happening to me!”

The Avengers are blown away by this story and Wasp speaks for all of them when she promises that the Avengers will do everything in their power to help him.

So the Avengers spend several days doing assorted science at a child. Or at least Iron Man does while Wasp watches in interest and Thor and Captain America watch in disinterest.

They’ve only got the one smart guy right now.

But after using all those big science machines and gazing at science glassware full of science chemicals, Iron Man finally sciences a science science.

Science.

Iron Man: “It seems our young friend is a true anomaly... a freak of nature... perhaps the first mutant the world ever knew. Simply put: his own lifecycle is somehow tied in with the lifecycle of the Earth itself! It’s as if the man and the planet -- were one soul... as long as the planet exists -- he will exist.”

How... how do you test for that?! What science chemicals told you that this boy’s soul was one with the Earth??

Also, another hat thrown into Actually the First Mutant contest. Get fucked, Namor.

Anyway, a distraught Hardy questions whether this means he’ll have to live forever but Iron Man says that now that he understands the problem, he can start working on a solution.

Which leads to a bit of a disagreement among the Avengers.

Iron Man sees a SCIENCE! problem to be scienced at. But he’s the only one.

Wasp: “Wait a minute! A solution? I know that this... boy has been through a lot -- but who are we to provide him with a means of suicide?”

And Cap agrees with Wasp. But for more different reasons.

Cap: “Captain America has always stood for the preservation of life! With all he’s been through -- all he’s learned -- this... Forever Man could help humanity immeasurably!”

Geez. Are you really standing for the preservation of life if you then follow it up suggesting that Forever Man should be (beneficially) exploited for everyone else?

And Thor just doesn’t see the problem at all. And maybe isn’t even sure what the Avengers have been bothering over for the past couple days.

Thor: “Thor hath yet to see if a problem doth e’en exist! Immortality be not a fate fit for mourning -- ‘tis a blessing that -- till now -- only the gods have known!”

And Hardy. Hardy is pissed at the way the conversation is going and all this not putting him out of his misery.

Hardy: “You sanctimonious morons! You can’t even begin to comprehend what I’ve been through! I haven’t had a god’s life, Thor -- I’ve had the pathetic life of a man! I’ve seen the death, the suffering, the loves lost, the hopes denied! Forget what the movies tell you about the immortals who’ve walked with Methuselah, Moses, Jesus! I’ve known no great me and, with the exception of Hardy, I’ve been no great men!”

Iron Man cuts him off to go why not go to bed kiddo while the adults talk things out.

I mean, not exactly, but the spirit is there.

And maybe not the right tack to take because upon being sent to his room, more or less, Hardy decides well fuck this. Inspired by an article he sees in a newspaper, he runs away from home/Avengers Mansion, hitches a ride on a train, and threatens with a gun some vagrants who I’m pretty sure are Laurel and Hardy.

Morgan MacNeil Hardy rides the rails all the way to Cape Canaveral.

Upon which he lies his way onto the base by pretending to be the lost grandson of the base’s general, sneaks off, and then sneaks into a rocket that is being prepared to launch.

“He stands, dwarfed by the mammoth spacecraft, gazing up at it the way some men would gaze up at the face of God. For this NASA probe -- ‘Star Core Three’ -- is a god of sorts. A god that will carry him to the heart of the Sun; a Sun that, he hopes, will succeed where he has failed... a Sun that will consume him... and grant him the peace of final death.”

Damn, Hardy.

You sure are serious about this death thing if you’re willing to go so far out of your way to throw yourself into the Sun.

Did you even consider just throwing yourself into a volcano? Its less of a trip!

The rocket is Star Core Three and is going to orbit the Sun and get all kinds of SCIENCE data.

It also wasn’t meant to have passengers so Hardy dies and dies and dies again from the lack of oxygen and the cold. Just death and rebirth for the weeks it takes the rocket to travel to the Sun.

This story is pretty messed up, if you think about it.

Anyway, during those “brief, agonized moments of life” Hardy reprograms Star Core Three’s guidance system.

So that when the probe arrives at the sun, it plunges into it instead of orbiting it.

Cool. You just sabotaged a millions dollar space probe to try to kill yourself in the Sun, Hardy. You dick.

After the probe’s destruction, General Nelson calls the Avengers and asks if they know of any cosmic nonsense or anything else that could have caused Star Core Three’s guidance systems to shit the bed.

He’s also asked the Fantastic Four so really he’s just checking the Avengers off a list just in case.

Wasp asks if anything weird happened on the day of the launch and Peter Parker looking General Nelson says that there was a small boy intruder but that’s about it.

Wasp is like gasp! We’ve misplaced a small boy! Is it possible, nay even probable that Hardy launched himself into the fucking sun in a grand suicide attempt??

Iron Man decides that’s far fetched.

“Far-fetched, Iron Man... and true!”

“But, if it is death the ageless child has come to the sun seeking... it is something far more horrible that he has found! For, as he is swallowed by the staggering energies of the sun; as he dies, screaming, ten thousand times in ten thousand seconds... an awful change occurs!”

“Whatever the creature is that rises in the boy’s place, it is not human. It is a thing of plasma and pain; a pain that, the creature senses, has been its lot for centuries.”

“It knows it must end that pain -- at any cost! And so it arcs out towards space, toward home... toward Earth!”

So. Yeah. Yeahhhhh. Yeah.

Hardy dunked himself into the Sun and found a fate worse than the fate worse than death he was suffering.

Pro-tip to all immortals out there? Looking at you, Lestat. Unless you’re absolutely sure that dunking into the Sun really will kill you and not consign you to an even more hellish existence, maybe don’t?

Anyway, an undisclosed amount of time later, Jarvis runs into the Avengers meeting room (which once again has a decently sized table - although the chairs look a little cramped) and tells the Avengers that he was watching the news on his tea break and saw a bulletin about a fire creature on the loose.

I do make fun of it a lot but the Avengers sure do rely on the news to keep on the ball, huh?

Also, is it just me or have the Avengers been fighting a lot of fire monsters? Not in a short time span but still. They fought that Inferno guy in a two-parter. Pyron when Wasp was the cool hero. And now a child who swan dived into the Sun and became a monster.

Anyway, Fire Hardy is menacing Midtown because he vaguely remembers failing to die here once.

The police and even the army are failing to do much to stop Fire Hardy’s rampage. And some are getting discouraged because of it.

A police officer: “Why are we even doing this? The blasted monster’s unstoppable! Why don’t we just give up and let it kill us?”

Iron Man: “Take it easy, officer -- the situation can’t be that bad!”

So the Avengers tell the army and police to armscray because this looks like a job for the AVENGERS.

Fire Hardy sees the Avengers and their gaudy costumes stirs a vague memory, perhaps of them being unhelpful, and he AROOOOs angrily, like Futurama Nixon.

Cap also claims that Fire Hardy is like a living sun, generating heat that is almost unbearable.

But, Cap, c’mon. C’mon. Really? C’mon. Look, you can’t do the Pyron story where the Avengers all had to wear heat resistant suits and Jocasta started melting and expect me to take any fire threat as seriously if you’re confronting it in your red, white, and blues.

Wasp takes initiative. I was wondering whether, since this smacked of filler, it would remember that she’s the leader of the team. But at least she gets to go first.

She shears a lamp-post with one of her sting blasts and has it fall on Fire Hardy.

It doesn’t work. The lamp-post just catches fire and melts on contact. But, hey, blasting a lamp-post in half in one go is a good showing for Wasp’s vaguely powered pew pew.

Wasp goes uh Iron Man, you’re up.

And Iron Man has a good idea.

He borrows the shovel from a steam shovel and uses it to dig a hole.

Then they can trip the monster so it falls into the hole and uhh look its a good first step. They’ll figure it out as they go.

Thor: “If only thy words couldst make it so, Iron Man! But methinks the creature hath other plans!”

And Fire Hardy melts the asphalt ground molten with a touch and allows it to fill in the pit.

The monster is clearly more intelligent than the 8 whole panels before this one have led the Avengers to believe.

Now its Thor’s turn. Because I guess they’re just going one at a time.

Good teamwork, Avengers!

Anyway, Thor’s plan, unsurprisingly, is to do Thor things. Which as you might recall, isn’t limited to just hitting things really hard.

Thor: “Let this lumbering sun-beast brace itself! -- For it is about to face -- THOR, god of thunder! I now call down the living lightning that be mine to command -- the roaring gale -- the full, unfettered fury of the storm! May the floodtides of heaven surround yon walking star -- and drown its fires in life-giving water...”

And Thor brings the storm and the thunder. But. Remember when Cap (laughably) claimed that Fire Hardy was as hot as the Sun?

Do you know what the evaporation point of water is? A lot lower than the heat of the sun, probably??

So Thor’s storm just evaporates from the heat before even touching Fire Hardy.

So another dud.

Cap’s up!

Not sure what he can do that Thor couldn’t do. Lets be honest. They kind of spent their biggest gun already. What’s Cap gonna do?

Did you guess... run up and throw his shield at the problem? Good guess.

Cap: “We’re facing one of the most dangerous menaces we’ve ever faced! Unchecked, it could wipe out every man, woman, and child in this city -- perhaps in the world! But I have no intention of letting that happen!”

I’ll give him credit for stubbornness and a Corellian-esque hatred of knowing the odds.

But throwing his shield actually does do a thing.

It elicits a NOOOOOO from the monster.

The voice sounds familiar to Iron Man but before he can ponder it, he tackles Cap to stop him from burning his hands off.

Iron Man: “Despite the fact that your shield’s made of some strange, powerful alloy, Cap -- it still gets mighty hot when you toss it into a mini-sun!”

Cap: “That’s one I owe you, Shell-Head!”

Sometimes I suspect that Cap may be a beautiful idiot. Who specifically doesn’t know how thermodynamics work.

Although to be fair, the shield was in Fire Hardy for a couple seconds at most. That’s an impressive heat transfer coefficient.

Anyway Fire Hardy has more to say such as FOOLS! AT LAST -- I REMEMBER!

And Cap realizes what Iron Man suspected just a five lines ago. That the fire monster sounds like Hardy.

Cap puts 2 and 2 together and realizes that Wasp was right that Hardy threw himself into the Sun and realizes that obviously because of science, he must have mutated into a fire monster.

Of course. That’s just science.

The Avengers try to reason with Fire Hardy but Fire Hardy claims HARDY IS GONE! ONLY HIS PAIN AND RAGE REMAIN!

So the Avengers shrug and go back to doing what they do best. Fight scenes that resolve in eyebrow raising ways.

Cap figures that hey his shield had seemed to hurt Fire Hardy before so why not do that again but better. And he throws his mighty shield so hard that it lodges in Fire Hardy.

Uh. What is it.... lodged in? Fire Hardy is made of fire. Which is not known for its tangibility.

But with the mighty shield lodged in his gut somehow, Fire Hardy goes NOOOOOOO

Iron Man figures that something in the shield’s unique molecular structure is janking up Fire Hardy and decides ‘hey lets all concentrate on the shield!’

This makes as much sense as anything else.

So Iron Man blasts the shield, Wasp blasts the shield, and Thor throws Mjolnir through Fire Hardy.

Wasp worries that they may be killing Hardy but Thor argues ‘hey he said he wasn’t Hardy! We’re free and clear, morally speaking!’

More seriously:

Thor: “And tell me -- can we truly slay a thing that ne’er hath died?”

Good point, Thor, good point.

Problem is that either Fire Hardy has had enough of these shenanigans or they’ve hit the weak point for massive damage too well.

Because Fire Hardy starts glowing white hot, almost as if he’s going to explode.

And with the heat that he’s allegedly putting out, its an explosion that could destroy the entire western hemisphere!

Or Iron Man says so anyway!

He asks Thor to make a vortex with Mjolnir.

And Thor is like ‘oh right that is a thing I can do’

So he spins Mjolnir around and around and around so fast that it creates a tornado that picks Fire Hardy up and shoots him into space.

Where he explodes.

“At last, a wildly-spinning vortex forms about the brilliantly-glowing sun-thing... sucking it up, up, up -- out of the Earth’s atmosphere... into the dappled heavens... where, with a soundless, scintillant explosion... the threat of the man who lived forever... ends! Or does it?”

Wild.

Even though the blast was all up in space and contained by the vortex, it still shakes the Avengers off their feet. AND CREATES A NOT-WIDE BUT PRETTY DEEP CRATER!

Cap: “If I had any questions about Hardy’s living through that -- they’re gone now.”

Wasp: “Then -- he’s finally found the peace he was looking for.”

Thor: “Aye, Wasp -- but at what cost?”

Iron Man: “Uh... I hate to be the one to put the damper on this impromptu memorial service -- but considering we’re talking about a guy who’s survived since the dawn of time -- don’t you think we ought to check?”

Pfft.

I love that exchange.

So the Avengers jump down into the crater and find two ludicrous things.

Cap is talking about how he lost his shield in this nonsense and would like to look for it.

Thor: “Captain -- art thou daft? Thy shield hadst no more chance of remaining intact in that inferno than--”

-Cap’s shield perfectly intact-

Iron Man: “... you were saying, Thor?”

Thor: “Heimdall’s beard! Surely thy weapon must be as enchanted as mine uru mallet!”

And then Cap just picks his shield up.

Not by the metal, obviously. That’d be silly! It’d be way too hot to hold!

No, he picks it up by the straps! The presumably leather or cloth straps which are perfectly intact after being at the center of an explosion that reached all the way from space!

Good lord, what is that presumably leather from? The legendary tarrasque??

Even if the leather straps were indestructible, wouldn’t they still be very hot?

Anyway, that was just ludicrous thing number one.

Ludicrous thing number two is that Not-Fire Hardy regrows to his child form at the bottom of the crater.

And he has AMNESIA!

-soap opera sting-

Because. Of course.

Thor and Wasp immediately accept that this is a thing which has happened because of course.

But Cap is more doubtful. About that and about this whole misadventure.

Cap: “Despite the fact that he’s managed to resurrect himself -- we killed a living being today!”

Iron Man: “But -- is it really killing when the being you’ve slain... doesn’t stay dead?”

Cap: “That’s something we’ll all have to wonder about -- for the rest of our days.”

And then the Avengers fly out of the crater. With Cap riding on Thor’s back.

God, I love this comic sometimes.

And Hardy being wrapped in Thor’s cape and held in Wasp’s arms while Iron Man holds the both of them.

But Iron Man is wondering a thing himself.

“What if the boy’s amnesia isn’t legitimate: what if it’s an act, meant to lull them into a false sense of security. What then? Indeed... WHAT THEN...?”

And given Hardy’s little smirk at the end, yeah, its implied that he’s faking amnesia to get away with having tried to kill the Avengers as a monster of solar fire.

Does anything come of this?

HECK NO!

Nothing is done with the character after this! You’d think that an alleged First Mutant would be more important but I’m not attached enough to this character concept to want to argue for that.

Especially not for man who builds psychic device to bring back traditional values.

I kind of wonder whether this whole exercise was to sort of take his death in Captain America #264 off Cap’s hands by having him come back to life.

Anyway... yeah. Very fill-in. Reading it feels like a speedbump. We’ve got the Hank Pym thing spinning its wheels in the background and we gotta deal with this for a month.

I don’t mind one-offs but aside from sheer lunacy (solarcy?) this doesn’t have much to recommend it.

Next time, at least, the Shootering continues with our old friend.... workplace acquaintance? Yeah that sounds better. Our old workplace acquaintance, Moondragon.

She’s the worst. Which makes her the best.

You should follow @essential-avengers because I cover the Avengers issues that nobody else will because they have better things to do. I assume. Also, like and reblog so I feel appreciated.

[isitmadness]

A Handsome Stranger

summary: Driving 1,300 miles in a truck with a complete stranger. This will be fine. This was what desperation will get you. Desperation and something akin to love-at-first-sight.

relationships: Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi

words: 1.4k

a/n: I liked the idea of these two idiots on a road trip in an AU/modern setting, so I wrote one. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯  I've made part of their trip before, but not all, so please forgive inaccuracies as I don't live on the west coast of the US. Google was my friend. Also, other characters will come in later. 

Read it on ao3

Part 1: A Handsome Stranger at the Airport

At first glance, the man looked stuffy and fussy, standing there in his tan slacks, collared shirt and blue sweater. Cody watched with some interest as he animatedly spoke with the agent behind the counter. He gestured throughout the conversation, but to his credit, he never once raised his voice.That was a rarity in the airport.

Cody couldn’t quite make out what the man was saying from his vantage point, but it seemed the day was not going his way—his posture, tired and defeated. He laughed to himself when the auburn-haired man bent forward and laid his forehead on the desk. As Cody got closer, the agent leaned over the counter, he heard her ask the man if he was okay. “Sir? Sir...are you all right? As I’ve said, there’s nothing I can do for you. I do apologize.” The man picked up his head and groaned. Cody stood at the opposite end of the counter and waited.

“Yes, you have said. I understand. I’ll just be going then.” Was that a...Scottish accent? Or some English-Scottish hybrid. Cody couldn’t quite tell, but he’d be happy to listen to the man read the phonebook. He continued to watch as he knelt and picked up his bag and an old, battered suitcase. The man and the suitcase both looked like they had seen some better days. Cody was starting to feel rather bad for the guy.

He found his feet moving seemingly of their own volition towards the redhead who was heading to the exit rather quickly.

Right before he stepped through the sliding glass doors, Cody reached out and grabbed the elbow of his sweater. The man stopped and spun around, eyes wide. Cody held up his hands in an apology. “Sorry! Sorry…” And Cody himself froze. Fair and freckled skin, bright blue eyes combined with the auburn hair and neat auburn beard made him quite the handsome specimen.

“Can I help you?” The simple question brought Cody back down to Earth. He was a bit concerned at how easily he lost himself.

“I, uh...sorry...I overheard you talking to the agent over there.” Cody hooked a thumb over his shoulder back towards the counter. “You seem to have a problem, and I was going to see if I could help?”

The man’s mouth dropped open in surprise. Cody wanted to laugh, but he kept a straight face. “You what?”

“I what what?” Cody repeated. He winced. Smooth.

“You want to help me? I don’t understand. You don’t know me or know anything about me.” The man lifted an eyebrow, looking skeptical. But then his face softened and he leaned forward to whisper conspiratorially, “I could be a murderer, you know.”

At that Cody barked a short laugh. “You? I find that very hard to believe.” Cody crossed his arms over his chest.

“But that’s what I want you to believe, that’s what makes me good,” the man straightened up and honestly looked quite proud of himself. The little shit.

“Okay, well let’s say I live dangerously and am willing to help a murderer, where are you headed?” The man visibly slumped and looked more like he did back at the counter. This man was no murderer, he was too tired to murder.

“Well, I was trying to get home to Seattle,” he started. “And it’s a really long story, but I missed my flight and it seems I’m shit out of luck here on renting a vehicle. Seattle isn’t exactly next door, you know.”

“It’s not?” Cody already felt comfortable being sarcastic with the guy.

The man chuckled. “No, crazy, right?”

Cody couldn’t believe the luck, but was also a bit dubious about how well this was working out. “You may find this hard to believe, but I am moving to Bremerton, to work on the naval base there. I can give you a ride in my moving truck.”

At this the man’s eyes widened, “No shit?”

“No shit.”

He narrowed them again. Cody couldn’t help but notice how expressive he was. “So, you, some random guy in an airport, happens to overhear my struggles, and doesn’t ignore them, but instead comes over and offers to haul my ass nearly 1,300 miles up the west coast? Are you pulling my leg?”

Cody huffed a laugh, “Look, I barely believe it myself.”

“And you just happened to be going to nearly the same place?” The man finally dropped his bag and put his hands on his hips. Cody nodded. He stood still while the man weighed his options, stroking his beard, deep in thought. In the few minutes Cody knew this man, he seemed so young and so old simultaneously. He would put his age at 35, tops, but he had a feeling he could be even younger—he was just hiding it behind the beard.

“Okay,” the man finally said. He put a single finger in the air, “But I insist on paying for gas, miles, food, whatever you need. This is an incredibly generous offer, and I can’t pretend I understand why you’re willing to do this for someone you don’t know, but it’s the least I can do.”

“Well then,” Cody stuck out a hand and the man grasped it to shake. “It’s a deal.”

“Deal,” the man replied. He knelt down again to pick up his bag. “Oh, and the name’s Ben. Ben Kenobi.”

Cody smiled back, “Cody Fett.”

“Nice to meet you, Cody Fett,” Ben said with a bright smile. “I’ll follow your lead.”

###

Ben followed Cody to the parking lot, two or three steps behind the entire way. He might have made the murderer joke, but he didn’t know if this Cody Fett actually was one, so he preferred to keep his eyes on the stranger the entire time. His gut, however, told him Cody was all right, and his gut was rarely wrong.

He really still couldn’t get over a perfect (and handsome!) stranger offering help such as this. There had to be a catch. He’d figure it out—there was always a catch.

In the meantime, he could at least appreciate watching the man as he walked. He had incredible posture, quite unlike Ben, and carried himself well. It also didn’t hurt that he was extremely easy on the eyes with his dark skin, warm, brown eyes and short black hair that looked like it would curl if it were any longer. Not to mention the hooked scar around his left eye, which Ben thought added character. He was already convinced the trip would be bearable.

“Alright, here we are,” Cody stopped in front of a large, yellow truck with a smaller pickup truck attached to the back for towing.

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Ben started as Cody unlocked the driver’s side door. “If you’ve got your trucks here, and I’m assuming all your things inside, why were you at the airport? Perusing the rental counters for your next victim?”

“Wait, I thought you were the murderer?” Cody grinned. “We can’t both be one.”

“Why not? Think of the story’s possibilities! Each one of us thinks that the other is, but no!, that can’t be because we’re making jokes about it, so we’re obviously kidding, but really BOTH of us are and somehow we’ve already tricked the other into believing it’s not possible. It’s the perfect setup.”

Cody just stood there and stared at Ben. “Right. I didn’t want to pay for all the gas on this monster alone, so I hung out at the rental counter until I found the first sucker who happened to be going my way so I could make them foot half the bill.” And he gave Ben a wink.

Ben finally broke into a laugh. “Oh, that’s good. You’re clever.”

Cody shook his head, “Alright, well, get in. You can put your things behind the seats, there’s plenty of room. I’ll get in and unlock the door for you.”

Ben walked around to the passenger side and waited for Cody to open the door. He handed Cody his overnight bag and his embarrassingly ratty suitcase, and hoisted himself into the cab. Cody busied himself packing Ben’s things while Ben had a moment of panic as he realized just how crazy this thing was he was about to do.

Driving 1,300 miles, from San Diego to Seattle, in a truck with a complete stranger. This will be fine. This was what desperation will get you. Desperation and something akin to love-at-first-sight. Anakin was going to give him such a hard time when he found out. (And Ben would have to tell him at some point.)

Cody started the truck and looked over at Ben, “You ready then?”

Ben sighed and smiled, “You bet.”

[kaminobiwan]

hi karina!! i was just wondering- after reading your incredible work on inhibition, how does one write longer fics? the ones about 2-3k or so in length? but mainly, what i mean to ask is WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO WRITE LIKE THAT?!!!

hiya!! aagh gosh thank you so much for your kind words :’-)) they really mean a lot to my lil heart

I’m gonna go way overboard with this, but maybe it’ll be helpful in some way! I hope this details my writing process well enough, because honestly fic writing didn’t come from any sort of training or education for me—my forte is rhetorical analysis and policy briefings, and I just started writing fics a little over a month ago! but the best way I can attribute my writing is just verbalizing all of the stories and little scenes I think of in my head, and fleshing then out once those ideas touch paper. more below :-)

also, feel free to pm me if this gets a lil confusing lmaoaoao

so I actually struggle with writing longer fics too! my masterlist only has 3 pieces that break the threshold of 2k words, maybe 2 more that almost brush it. the corellation I’ve seen so far is that my better works tend to also be my longer works, primarily because of how I put those words to use.

my shorter fics are more dialogue heavy, and mostly don’t stray outside of one scene or location. that’s not to say a long fic can’t happen in only one place, but I find that the passage of time in a fic also helps to lengthen it word-wise. especially when there’s scene breaks and you have to establish the new place all over again, that’s a lot of words!

the biggest contributor to my word count, however, lies in description, primarily sensory description and omniscient narration. both play a large part in not only making a story longer, but adding to the plot. inhibition only takes place in one spot, and each scene break had maybe a couple sentences of setup, but it was the thoughts and feelings of reader that I focused on and even had such setup to lead into in the first place, and it’s also why I kept adding more and more scenes—my first brainstorm of that fic had three things: blistered foot, bfast in bed, obi teaching luke to shave. but as I touched on the emotions from the morning affection to love for luke, it spawned so many more parts that made it longer but were totally necessary to the buildup of story, and then halfway through I decided that maybe this could be about letting go of inhibition/wanting kids because I found a little snippet of camie marstrap while researching tatooine on wookiepedia. (another way of detailing—researching the little things that just make the story more “canon” is something I obsess over, if not just for my own pure enjoyment more than enhancing the story.)

I think the most important thing to getting to 2/3k words is to have an endpoint where all of that word count is leading to. once I solidified what inhibition was going to be about, I added small hints of foreshadowing to help the full arc take place. on the other hand, for earlier fics like father figure/indulgence/stargazing, those endings came to mind towards the end of writing. it’s still the staple ‘I-just-want-to-write-this-one-scene-and-now-I-have-to-think-of-a-whole-plotline-to-make-it-possible’ fanfic writing, but with the added strategy of then realizing what ‘bigger picture’ the story is alluding to (I’m a big picture person and also a sucker for underlying subtones) then working backwards to lead the reader to that endpoint. cannonball was probably the best example outside of inhibition for that—my goal in mind was the confession, and the very last scene was written first, so every word after (or really, before) served to weave in the feelings and preceding events that all eventually combined to cause that one moment. it doesn’t always have to be something philosophical or a ‘lesson”, in fact, most of my fics, particularly obi, are about him learning how to be human, step back, and be more self aware. but to get to those realizations, I think mapping it out (even just in your head) is what will ultimately push you past 2k words, because the fic will demand it of you, not the other way around.

again, thank you so incredibly much for your words! sharing my stories and ideas that come to fruition on tumblr is such a wild ride, but it’s made so heartwarming by comments like these! thank you for the opportunity to babble about the inner workings of my mind LOL

[atamascolily]

Just finished “Murder in Slushtime” by Barbara Hambly, and while technically canon, it feels like an AU crack!fic in which Callista plays Sherlock Holmes on Gamorr of all things, and I just... I’m not sure how this happened, exactly, but I’m here for it?

Or to summarize it a different way,  imagine the Jabba’s palace sequence, except framed as a Victorian murder mystery, complete with falling snow and a haunting.

There’s also a random human Cyrano de Bergerac who writes love poems for male Gamorreans to use in courtship, a bar called the Irrational Number (owned by a Bith, lol), parasites as a status symbol, another reference to the dark world of Af’El (which I find very interesting since I did NOT realize that was the Defel homeworld until I looked it on Wookiepeedia), a truly excellent boss battle, Gamorreans feasting over a literal trough, celebratory food fights, seasonal affective disorder, and fungus as comfort food. Also temptation to use the dark side and pining after Luke, two tropes I am a sucker for.

It’s great to see something from Callista’s POV for once, and this was a fun, if bizarre, read. Once I got past the initial setup, it was great. I can’t say I’d recommend it to anyone who isn’t a Callista fan or a obscure Legends nerd (or both), but I’m glad I read it! I might even use some of this as fodder for a fic or two in the future.

A few favorite quotes below the cut.

   "Well," grinned Onyx, "I admit there’s only so much you can do in Gamorrean. I did the same thing for some Bith for a season. Now, there’s an unpromising tongue for the expression of the tenderer passions."

LOL, Threepio would probably disagree with you, but then, Threepio is the sort to write love poems TO Bith, so there you go.

   There were always those who blithely justified the hideous risks of alien infestation with phrases like "free market demand" and "if I didn’t bring them in, someone else would" and "What, do you think I’m an amateur? I know what I’m doing!" Planetary economies had been crippled,civilizations destroyed, and literally billions of sentient beings destroyed by some smuggler saying, and truly believing, "Oh, they’re really a lot safer than they look."

#accurate

   and though it hurt her even to form his name in her mind Callista silently thanked Luke Skywalker for the sheer physical rigor of his training. She might no longer be able to touch the Force, she thought grimly, but at least she was fast on her feet.

   And the thought whispered to her, But you can use the Force. She cut, slashed, dodged again.

   The Force is anger, as much as it is serenity. It is hate, as much as it is hope. ... The Force is in that thing as well as in you. Why limit yourself?

   ... Why not use the dark side, if it’ll save you? You’re entitled.

   Which of course, she thought bitterly, was what the dark side all about.

nnnnnngghhhh.

   "You don’t think of Gamorreans as being subject to depression," she said quietly. "But it’s fairly common, especially in slushtime. And most people don’t think of Gamorreans as being capable of passionate love; the kind of love that almost cannot survive, if the loved one is gone."

   Luke Skywalker’s face returned to her mind, and she put the image aside, as she had forced herself to learn to do.

I have SO many questions. Why is Callista even with this crew in the first place? What is she trying to do here? What are her goals? Is this before or after Nam Chorios? I want to know so, so, so much more, and it’s not going to ever happen... sob.

We never find out what happens to Jos after the story ends, but I’m gonna assume he ends up with Sebastian and Callista comes back every now and then to visit the two gay nerds who are still living on Gamorr for some unknown reason, or maybe they’ve packed up and moved to better climes.

I would also like to know how Callista recognizes the the work of a homunculus-wasp so quickly - there’s definitely a fic in that somewhere if I ever get around to writing it.

Also, here’s an image of Callista fighting it!