#I just posit You can be bad at theory and/or annoying with any orientation. Because. Well That Fandom was primarily aro

[ranvwoop]

I've seen a few things primarily citing alloros people as the reason for like. romantic / sibling dichotomy but i am going to be honest. being aro does not absolve you of benefitting from thinking more critically about your own amatonormativity and prioritization of the nuclear family

[wangisking]

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐋𝐋𝐘  𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆  𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑  𝐒𝐔𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐘

BASICS. FULL    NAME  :  Augustus Alexander Wang  NICKNAME  :  August and Gus ( in general ), Auggie, Ice Prince, and Guggie ( by Aurora ). Aug and Lestat  ( by Jack ),  NAME    MEANINGS  : Augustus is  Latin for  the great / the magnificent.  Alexander is also Latin and means defender of mankind. From what I know, Wang in Chinese means king.  HISTORICAL    CONNECTION ?  : Though, his dad did think of the Roman Emperor Augustus when they named him, they liked the meaning. It seemed to fit him. They weren’t wrong, he was an emperor and he still has that energy.   AGE  :  22. Like Aurora, he can’t age past 22. He wouldn’t have minded either way.    BIRTHDAY  :  5th  April ETHNIC    GROUP  :   Augustus is half Korean and half Brazilian.  NATIONALITY  :   British LANGUAGES  :   fluent  in  English and French. Conversational Latin. Broken Korean. Learning Urdu. SEXUAL    ORIENTATION  :  demi-heterosexual ROMANTIC    ORIENTATION  :  demi-heterosexual RELATIONSHIP    STATUS  :   Single and doesn’t want to mingle. He had only one serious relationship in the past with Aurora Shams from 2017-2019.  CLASS  :  Upper  class,  Wealthy but not private-jet kind of wealthy.  HOME    TOWN  /  AREA  :  London till he was 10 and Vancouver till he was 17 CURRENT    HOME  :  Los  Angeles PROFESSION  :   Drummer, songwriter, model, and student.    PHYSICAL. HAIR  :  long  and  wavy.  Chestnut brown. Here is an example. It goes down his earlobes in length.    EYES  :  piercing, almond-shaped eyes. Naturally brown, but he wears blue or green contact lenses.  NOSE  :   a Greek nose, straight without bumps. FACE  :  Oblong shaped, sharp and chiseled cheekbones, strong jaw. Masculine features. Example.  LIPS  :  not  full  nor  thin, heart shaped.     COMPLEXION  :  pretty pale. Example is same as the face section.  SCARS  :  one on his chest. TATTOOS  :  a very small ‘10/17′ on his left rib.   PIERCINGS:  earlobes HEIGHT  :  6′5″  or  195cm.   BUILD  :  Inverted triangle. Broad, tapered shoulders. Muscular. Defined, sculpted abs. Long limbs. Broad chest. He was naturally towards the muscular side with broad shoulders and chest. He’s never been on the skinny side. Example one and two   USUAL  HAIR  STYLE  :  he lets his hair do their thing, he styles them a little, but he prefers a messier vibe.  USUAL  FACE  LOOK  :  He looks generally bored. His eyes have a piercing look that seem to be drilling into the person before him. Like he can see right through you. There is an insolent smirk tugging at his lips like he thinks you’re amusing. Almost proud, like he thinks he is above you. There is depth and intensity in his eyes that stare skywards in thought. There is also mischievous, radiant glimmer in his eyes.   USUAL    CLOTHING  :  prince charming meets rockstar. Lots of jackets, darker colors, boots, necklaces and rings. Here is his wardrobe.      PSYCHOLOGY. FEARS  :  claustrophobia and the fear of ending up alone. He always had this creeping feeling that he’d be alone in the end and that he was always meant to be alone.  ASPIRATIONS  :   he doesn’t have any set aspirations. They change every now and then. However, his goals are just to keep his found family happy.  POSITIVE    TRAITS  :  extremely charismatic, intelligent,  academic and studious, alluring and attractive, quick-witted, charming and captivating, articulate and eloquent, adventurous, desirable, analytical, brilliant, friendly, enthusiastic, adaptable, observant, kind, mellow, competent, extremely caring and protective over those closest to him, clever, loyal, clear-headed, confident, humorous, courageous, imaginative and creative, a visionary, refined tastes and manners, daring, dignified, ebullient, deep, remarkable, surprisingly he’s very forgiving, forthright, gallant, logical, gentlemanly and sophisticated, perfectionist, popular, self-reliant, shrewd, witty, suave, curious, and resourceful.    NEGATIVE    TRAITS  :  egocentric, self-obsessed, idle, indifferent, selfish, defiant, arrogant, argumentative, rebellious, kinda lazy, stubborn, distracted, doesn’t really care for morals, blunt, can appear insensitive a lot, is insensitive at times, no filters, can be cold for those he doesn’t care for, emotionally immature, deflects emotions, suppresses his feelings, sorta detached, kinda pessimistic, and unknowingly self-sacrificing because he thinks it’s fair and he deserves it.   MBTI  :  ENTP  (  Ne  dominant,  Ti  auxiliary,  Fe  tertiary,  and  Si  inferior  —  this  means  she  can’t  use  Ni,  Se,  Te,  and  especially  can’t  use  Fi). He  perceives  the  world  by  connecting  dots,  thinking  of  never-ending  possibilities,  looking  for  pieces  of  a  puzzle,  and  finding  meaning  in  abstract.  He  makes  judgments  on  if  what  he  perceives  fits  his  internal  logic.          ZODIAC  :  Aries sun, Gemini rising, Sagittarius moon.  TEMPERAMENT  :  sanguine choleric  ANIMALS  :  parrots and cats because they’re both intelligent but little pieces of shit who enjoy making your life hell.  VICE  :   it’s either his ego or how he ends up detaching himself FAITH  :  currently, he’s Mu.slim. He was born protestant, became an atheist when he was 13, agnostic at 14. Bud.dhist at 15. Taoist at 16. Confucianist at 17. Mu.slim at 19. Doesn't practice it though.     GHOSTS  ?  :  yep.. AFTERLIFE  ?  :   yep REINCARNATION  ?  :  he guesses so. Went  through  it, but doesn’t remember. ALIENS  ?  :  hell yeah. POLITICAL    ALIGNMENT  :  liberal. ECONOMIC    PREFERENCE  :   upper class or upper middle class is good with him.  EDUCATION    LEVEL  :   MSci in Physics from the University of Cambridge. Is opting to specialize in astrophysics soon. FAMILY. FATHER  :  Edward Wang, owner of a chain of fine dining restaurants  MOTHER  :  Elisa Violeta Wang, psychiatrist, deceased  STEP MOTHER :  Chaeyoung Wang, lawyer.  SIBLINGS  :  Cassandra Wang, athlete EXTENDED    FAMILY  :  he is not close with his external family and doesn’t know his birth mother’s family at all. They never wanted him.  FAVOURITES. BOOK  :   Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Galactic Dynamics by James Binney, Kafka on the Shore by Haruki Mukarami, Slaughter house Five by Kurt Vonnegut, War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, and Lord of the Flies by William Golding. MOVIE  :  Scott Pilgrim vs The World 5    SONGS :  All You Want - Dashboard Prophets, Tokyo Smoke - Cage the Elephant, Where is My Mind? - The Pixies, Sparks - Coldplay, Lithium - Nirvana, and Mr. Blue Sky - Electric Light Orchestra     DEITY  :  none.  Let him argue with one and ask for proof of their deity-ness. HOLIDAY  :  Halloween. It’s dramatic and fun. MONTH  :   October, because he met Aurora and Jack this month in 2017. SEASON  :  spring  and  summer. PLACE  :  he doesn’t have a specific place, but he prefers European architecture.  WEATHER  :  cloudy and windy. Sunny if it isn’t too hot. SOUND  :  drums and percussions, the sound of aurora and jack’s laugh, guitars, violins, the sound of wind roaring, music boxes, and the clinking of bangles and jewelry.  SCENTS  :  sage, rosemary, and damascus roses. TASTES  :  chocolate, strawberries, chilies, and fried food.       FEELS  :   the feeling of hitting the drums, wind in his hair, the cold night air, warm morning sun, grass against his fingertips, silk, and touching long hair.   ANIMALS  :  cats and dogs. NUMBER  :   8 COLORS  :  white, cherry red, pink, maroon, wine red, black, and silver. EXTRA. TALENTS  :  he is an extremely talented drummer, good at guitar and the piano, he is talented at songwriting, composing music, he’s exceptionally good at mathematics and physics, analytical skills, storytelling, knows a lot of facts, near photographic memory because he remembers all important historical events with dates and details, academic writing, and brainstorming ideas.  BAD  AT  :   cooking, not very good at driving because he gets distracted, doing one task at a time, playing videogames, actually listening to what people say, being humble, and actually being a good leader.  TURN    ONS  :  this is a complicated question. He needs a very strong emotional connection to feel sexual attraction towards someone. And he only felt it for one person in his whole life. But, what sparked that attraction was a brilliant mind and the ability to connect with his mind on a very different level. It’s not going to repeat with anyone else.  TURN    OFFS  :  literally everyone else. He’s not sorry, but I am. HOBBIES  :  playing the drums, writing and composing songs, reading, solving problems, listening to music, watching shows, getting people to do weird shit, and annoying people.      AESTHETIC  :  crowns, drums, broken drumming sticks, abstract art, the vast space, chess boards, album cases, thrones, the echoing sound of pianos, Greek sculptures, galaxies and nebulas, early morning sunrise through curtains, libraries, equations scribbled on napkins, empty museums, unmade white sheets, polaroid cameras, conspiracy theories, VHS tapes, antique books, cobblestone alleyways, night skies, cluttered books, calloused fingers, crumpled composition pages, guitar picks, vinyl, telescopes, and planets.      Basically: abstract, chaotic academia, cryptid academia, dark academia, indie, kingcore, light academia, musical academia, science academia, spacecore,   QUOTES  :   it’s weird but i can’t decide which one fits him.  FC  INFO. MAIN    FC  :  victor han  ALT    FC  :  n/a. OLDER    FC  :  he can’t age past 22, so he doesn’t need one. YOUNGER    FC  :  none  yet. VOICE    CLAIM  :  both speaking and singing (his accent is posh British with a slight hint of Canadian) MUN  QUESTIONS. Q1  :    If you could write your character your way in their own movie , what    would  it  be  called ,  what  style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about ?    A1 :  The same answer as Aurora, The Tale of Solis et Lunae that stars him alongside Aurora, Lunae, Jack, and Tate, plus more. A cosmic adventure / fantasy / coming of age / superhero / the reluctant hero / the chosen one.  His role is of Aurora’s best friend and her greatest support in emotional and supernatural dangers. He is the time traveler who ascends time and space, so he often also gives her insight and information like the sage. It’ll  expand across dimensions, worlds, and different states of existence. The scenes would be cinematic with a strong soundtrack. I imagine him to have some scenes like Quick Silver in the X-Men movies.       Q2  :   What would their soundtrack / score sound like  ?     A2  :   He would have a 90s grunge or spacey dream rock sound. It ties in with the end of the last answer because i see him in one of those scenes with 90s grunge or maybe classical music ?    Q3  :      Why did you start writing this character  ? A3  :    I made Augustus just a bit before Aurora. They were a two part deal. I don’t know when it began, I just had this image of a tall, long haired boy with piercing, intelligent eyes who’s a smart-ass and likes being a know-it-all nuisance. This character has been the same since he began in 2019 and refused to change. He was always a drummer, he always had the same fashion sense, the look, Gus was always half-Korean, he always had long fingers he wore rings on, and he was always Aurora’s best friend/partner in crime. He remains unchanged and that's why I wanted to write him. This very vivid image of this boy was something I had to pen down. And just my luck, I found a fc who looks exactly how Gus looked in my head.   Q4  :    What  first  attracted  you  to  this  character  ? A4  :   Augustus is just extraordinary. It’s something I always felt about him and Aurora and I don’t see any of my other characters coming anywhere close to them regardless of how much I spent time on them. But with Augustus, his entire image and looks and personality — down to his wardrobe and jewelry was always so vivid in my head. Like I knew this very chaotically handsome boy who was going to turn the world upside down.  His story is interesting, but what interests me more is his perspective on his story. The way he looks at his life and how he is quiet and doesn’t show his pain. How confused he always is. How much he aches but never seems so. The way he loves but doesn’t say even a quarter of the intensity he feels. And how sometimes he believes he deserves suffering because it makes sense to him. I also love the connections he makes and the way he loves so deeply and profoundly but underneath the surface. His connection, love, fears, and hopes with Aurora and Jack for their respective reasons are extremely beautiful.   Q5  :      Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.  ? A5  :  Augustus is unknowingly self-sabotaging. He let go the only relationship / love in his life that made him feel like real love just because he thought he didn’t deserve it. And because when he was provoked, it made “sense” to him. He bottles his emotions and pain so much despite their intensity. He never shows how much he really cares and really hurts. And how sure he is that he’ll end up alone without friends and that it makes sense to him. Q6  :      What    do    you    have    in    common    with    your    muse  ?   A6  :    Here’s a fun answer, because I bottle my emotions like him. I also interact with the carefree way he does even if I don’t feel peachy. He’s smart and witty and really hot and I don’t even have that going on for me. So, yikes. Only of Gus’ bad things I share.  Q7  :      How  does your muse feel about you  ?   A7  :  Gus loves interacting with people so he’ll definitely show up to annoy me. Maybe, he might think I’m fun to annoy? Or maybe, we’ll have a similar sense of humor. I think he won’t dislike me. Not sure if he’ll like me. I think he’d think I’m funny in a strange sort of way.  Q8  :      What    characters    does    your    muse    have    interesting    interactions  with  ? A8  :    Aurora, first of all. They have this same brain wave-length thing going on where they’re partners in crime and bffs forever more. He knows how she is feeling and what she’s thinking even before she utters it. If she is about to sneeze, he’d get a tissue ready. He can tell if she is hungry or sleepy with one glance. She can do the same, so they sorta have this weird understanding of each other.  Jack is this older brother figure Augustus loves. He won’t admit it, but he kinda wants to make Jack proud of him. He also wants to provide love and care to Jack that he thinks he deserves but never got. They’re his family now and he’ll never be alone or sad again. He annoys Jack a lot but behind it all, he just wants Jack to think he is needed and he belongs. That if he thinks Augustus is reliant on him, then he has this family he has to protect and care for. He can’t stand the thought of Jack feeling unloved, forgotten, alone.  Tida is another one. There’s this great respect and adoration Gus has for him. Almost like he looks up to him in some ways  He also has a lot of hopes and expectations attached. He feels Tida is everything that Gus himself lacks. He is the ideal boyfriend, kindest person, shows his emotions vividly, and is like a warm and cozy blanket personified. He is probably Tida and Aurora’s biggest supporter and first one to know. He can’t be happier than he is that Aurora found someone as good and perfect as Tida.   Taewon is one really fun character. Their two-way frenemy jealousy spans over years and started in Cambridge when they were both in love with the same girl they claimed to be best friends with. Though, trying to be calm, Augustus was constantly provoked and hurt, made to feel inferior and constantly in fear of his relationship being broken by Taewon’s schemes that he couldn’t say out loud. This dark period ended with a fist fight and baggage of guilt they both carry to this day for hurting each other and the one they claimed to love. Today, they’re way past that and frenemies who have funny quips and arguments for each other. They say they dislike each other. But if the lighting is good, one would be the photographer of the other. Q9  :      What    gives    you    inspiration    to    write    your    muse  ? A9  :  Music  helps  me  imagine  scenes  with  perfect  visual  details.  Any  scenes  from  shows  that  remind  me  of  my  storylines. Q10  :      How    long    did    this    take    you    to    complete  ?   A10  :  I don’t remember. It was many days and I didn’t count because it was in bits and pieces.

[soulvomit]

There is some media zeitgeist stuff that irritates me. Maybe I'm atan age where a lot of stuff for the mainstream is just no longer written with me in mind (but I could argue that as a Gen Xr, non-indie work has seldom to never been written with me in mind, anyway.) I saw my own parents reach a point where we didn't like or relate to the same media anymore. But here are some trends I'm observing about a lot of media, that I just *don't enjoy.* 1) Everyone having some kind of deep-seated identity crisis and having to go on a deep dive into their psyche in the first season.  It's like we don't relate to characters anymore who don't need epic shit tons of therapy right off the bat, who aren’t falling apart in front of us. I'll use Star Trek as an example because it's an example of how identity issues were written before, vs how they're written now. Like, older Trek for example *definitely* explored issues of identity - but it showed more than told. We definitely knew, in older Trek, that certain characters were themed around identity - Spock, Worf, Data, every "fish out of water" character EVER - and that identity was portrayed as something that a character would have to explore for the rest of their lives. For that matter, identity quests and "who am I" are actually a fairly common theme in sci fi and fantasy and have been for all of my life. But now they're done in weird, ham-handed ways involving a lot of totally interiorized hand-wringing that's more believable of the young Tumblr users who are in fandom, than of 20something/30something action characters who have careers and adult lives. It's like a lot of people can't relate to characters that aren't as inwardly-focused and insecure as they are. And it makes a lot of works written this way, inaccessible to me as an older viewer. There's giving a character *inwardness*... but that can be done without burying a character's head really far up their own butt. (And some characters deal with their identity crises by focusing *outward.* I feel like "focus OUTWARD" may be a generational identity issue though. I feel like I was taught to find the answers to practically every identity quest I've ever had... by Finding The Others, by having life experiences and wins AND failures... not by trying to gaze into my navel and not by trying to find myself exclusively in fictional portrayals.) (I'm sorry I can't be more specific about this. It's just a trend I keep noticing.) 2) This tendency to assign every character a QUIRK, and then play those quirks into the ground. To me, that's just lazy. Something that annoyed me with the characterizations on Star Trek Discovery was how fucking ANNOYING so many human characters were; it's like they try so hard to make everyone an individual that it comes off like... a really bizarre kind of neurological tokenism. Like, there are ways you can portray human characters without leaning onto their most visible quirk or their neurodivergence. Characters are individuals with family lives, not collections of quirks and census data points, and even with actual differences, they’re still individuals.

3) Pro-monarchist messaging. Old Disney believe it or not was not as bad at this as post-2000s Disney is.  There were portrayals of tyranny and unjust rulership. 4) Writers and fans who are so convinced that they are progressive that you can't ever critique their fandom or their writing because it means you're attacking their progressiveness, and all other writing is automatically BAD, and anyone who dislikes their writing is BAD... yet they’re free to cancel at will and judge at will. They invariably are never as progressive as they think they are, and their writing won't be seen as progressive in 10 years, and a lot of the takes I've heard are actually horseshoe theory. In many cases it’s about making corporate monopolies bigger and more inescapable instead of ensuring a more robust and diverse ecosystem of creators.  5) Youth-targeted writing that deals with sexual orientation/gender issues by simply never having any central character in a romance at all... but that *could* be a reaction to "shipping," too. Maybe younger readers these days prefer to be free to pair their favorite characters off with who they see fit, rather than have the writer do it for them. But fuck!! Everything can't be a Choose Your Own Adventure novel or a game!   6) Every show or book has to be all things to all people in an increasingly throttled market instead of allowing for a diverse ecosystem of differing fan cultures. 7) Perfect Happy Families. Looking at you, Disney. I miss wicked stepparent tropes, tbh, because kids who experience child abuse or family dysfunction or a hard childhood deserve to see characters who overcome those things instead of being told they're imagining that all families aren't Perfect Happy Families. It's like we've gone deep into some Hayes Code, 1950s Network TV weirdness here... but without even being able to lean on the genres that *did* allow other kinds of portrayals (fantasy and sci fi). And it's especially egregious in Disney because in older Disney films, at least characters had the ability to enact change on their world in some way, but modern characters aren't. 8) Stories that basically take place inside a bottle. I feel like kids' works no longer tend to have the broad, sprawling landscape in which the kids can adventure. It's like our IMAGINATIONS are constrained! DREAM, PEOPLE. PEOPLE CAN STILL LEAVE THE HOUSE IN FICTION 9) WHAT CAME OF ADVENTURE STORIES? 10) A relatively recent trope of portraying young LGBTQ people as an urban pod of annoying, neurotic friends who all work at Whole Foods or as influencers, and have no other personality besides their identity and one assigned quirk. 11) A weird trope wherein a teenager is basically made king or queen (without it realistically being handled), or a 20something is just handed a senior command or managerial position. Sabrina, Star Trek,  I'm looking at both of you. And finally: It's like characters aren't believable anymore to average younger viewers unless they actually represent and validate the worldviews of young people who don't go outside, never leave their computer, and are trying to figure out who they are by looking through a keyhole or at the shadows on the Facebook wall of Plato's cave. The idea that your worldview is actually going to be *different* or that *you will be changed by knowledge?* That there is some kind of *call to adventure?* Pfeh. That seems to be gone. Even our adventure stories take place inside a bottle. It's like we're so deep inside the Matrix at this point that the only stories anyone can tell, are about being inside the Matrix. (Could "The Matrix" have even been written now?) Even "Harry Potter" portrayed a world in which magic had few stakes in the real world and most of the action took place within limited confines. 

[jochmus]

The Three Athenian Classical Philosophers

Yes, this post is Eurocentric. Yes, it Eurocentrism is a terrible curse which should be abolished (in the sense of preaching it); yet that topic will have to wait for another day. 

I intended to write about these ideas below that can be linked to the philosophers mentioned, however that did not happen in this post. I will have to come back to this, as well as a post containing my thoughts on the Decolonization of Knowledge, and how to achieve it. That post will definitely contrast with this one: I do have diverging perspectives since I am entrenched in both camps, that is to say either liking European intellectual history and also abhorring the idea of its universality in addition to imperialism and cultural imperialism. 

Socrates represents living images, or the residue of a previous system that comes back to screw with the functionality of the current one; a ghost if you will. 

Plato represents static images as a kind of substitute for atoms, by people who are unsatisfied by both the idea of atoms and sophistical nothingness, due to a desire to spiritualize reality, which is fair. 

Aristotle represents a kind of duality between things, or more justly a dichotomy; it is the political spectrum of artists and philosophers. 

SOCRATES was a genius or at least quite intellectually stimulating. His ideas are abrasive, and he may be considered to be quite annoying, yet there is a jovial element about him. His utter control over the conversations in the Platonic Dialogues, is either fascinating, or disturbing; he is somewhat of a trickster in that he will get what he wants out of people, that is the conclusions that he desires, because he knows what he is doing. This may be considered to be kind of misogynic to a degree, that is by tricking someone to say exactly what you want them to say, and to the extent that he holds power over the people that he is talking to, in that his ideas are so aligned with the truth that any other argument will fail. 

His daemon, or something like a guardian angel that would tell him what not to do, may have been responsible for this, but then again, the conversations were fixed in a way, because Socrates’ student, Plato, inserted his own words into Socrates’ mouth, as well as several other pre-Socratic philosophers that show up in the Dialogues. Luckily for us, there was another person named Xenophon who also was a student of Socrates who wrote down what he said, giving us a different interpretation of the man. 

* * *

A rant:

Yet, the seeds of culture in Ancient Greece that the Romans and later Europe as a whole forced on the rest of the world contained an element of misogyny in that women were not included in the intellectual discussion, among many other things. And yet the current post-structural paradigm, in my opinion, does not do any good for anyone, since in getting rid of all of these structures, we have gone overboard and now lack any sort of direction. Truly, how could anyone proceed in life without any kind of direction. Participation in this direction is, in my opinion, called greatness. We are trapped by the culture industry, and we are effectively prevented from doing anything original, because of the culture industry and fandoms. Further, the “ghost of the previous system” is still present, for how could one absolutely get rid of an idea? It goes without saying that women should be included in everything, but yet I still like greatness in general, which tends to get ignored as being bad, because the idea of greatness as it is generally conceived, is for an underrepresented elite. Yet I think that any culture, gender, sexual orientation, or ability is capable of participating in greatness, through ideas which are present in the world stage or their local culture. All one has to do, is think, write, and read the great texts. I do not say “great books” because not all books are written; many are orally transmitted across generations. 

* * * 

PLATO was a student of Socrates, and although he did not join the hedonistic cult that a portion of the other student’s formed, his fame was everlasting and he had a great influence on the Abrahamic religions. This was due to his Dialogues which departed from the traditional method of transmitting philosophic information, being poetry, and wrote, err, fanfiction plays about his mentor with brilliant ideas present within them. Plato is a massive influence on the West, yet, I distinguish those wonderful dialogues with some of the other stuff that is usually associated with the West and Europe, mainly Christianity, because of the intensely philosophical content of said Dialogues and my opinion that the latter are quite charming. Despite this, Plato may just have invented Heaven and Hell, and has a great influence on spirituality as well. The guy invented Atlantis in an allegory, yet the myth of that city still continues to this day as a conspiracy theory like entity. 

He was arguably fascist in that he posited the ideal city would be run on “noble lies,” and would be in possession of some very terrible qualities that I will not name here. This was in The Republic, indeed Plato was a member of the Athenian aristocracy, so the class differences must be accounted for, but still. 

Beyond this Plato is most famous for his theory of Forms, kinds of abstract essences of most thing that were located in a different realm. It is a wonderous fantasy, but may have just been in vain, even Plato called himself out on it, from my understanding, that how does one Form integrate into another, and how do they bleed into one another, like the day progressing to night. Ultimately, though, these could be considered to be open questions in the theory, but Plato did put forth an argument criticizing his theory in that the Forms could refer to themselves, in an endless chain. 

ARISTOTLE was a scientist to the degree that was possible at the time, but it seems that a massive hatred for him began two thousand years after his death, as the man ‘attempted to explicate the universe, and failed, tricking everyone after him that he was right.’ This must be admitted to be a folly of science. 

His writings are massive, but we in the present only received his esoteric lecture notes, as opposed to his exoteric long-gone published works. There is a list of the exoteric works on Wikipedia; they sound quite fascinating and I speculate that they may have been condensed by his students into some of the works that we received in the present. 

The teachings of Aristotle are diverse, and I have only read the first two books of his Metaphysics. In that the first book of that treatise he makes mention of the pre-Socratic philosophers, and their ideas in relation to his conception of the Four Causes. In the second book he talks about God and infinity. I want to say that in the second book also makes mention of education, in that when people’s conceptions are combined, they provide a greater understanding of a text or of reality. That idea gives me a literary criticism vibe from what I’ve learned of it in high school. 

[writingpaperghost]

The Power of Our Bonds Will Persevere! (Chapter 3)

Chapter 3: In Order to Protect the Promise We Made That Day and Our Future

There’s monsters to fight and investigating to be done.

This one's a bit long. And we're about halfway, now.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28124817/chapters/69331905

It seemed as though the pair of monsters, the statue and the dragon, were waiting for something. They hadn’t been there long, sure, but they hadn’t done anything. The statue monster stood still, almost like it wasn’t alive at all. The dragon monster was less, still, eyes closed, simply wrapped around the legs of the statue monster. For a moment, Asahi wondered if they were even still alive.

Her brothers arrived first, she was following just behind, but the moment they appeared, the dragon’s eyes opening. It watched them for a moment, examining them, then uncurled itself and stretched, with what might have been a small yawn. It had a sort of staring contest with Rosso and Blu, as though it might be sizing them up, determining whether they were threats or not.

Then, after a moment, the statue monster stirs, dark eyes lighting up. It doesn’t move, but even the change in its eyes are enough to show that it was paying some attention to what was occurring now. It’s not entirely clear what it is, exactly, or what it might do, but if anything, that only put the three Ultras more on guard.

Finally, after another few moments of tense silence, a voice rang out, the statues eyes flashing with every sound, “A surprise…” It said, the dragon monster’s tail began to swing back and forth, “Three unexpected guests… You are no monsters, as well.”

“Hey!” Blu calls out, “Are you two the ones causing the monsters to go crazy or whatever?”

The statue tilts its head, “Perhaps we are…” Its hand at its side shifted, raising to rest on what might be the handle of a weapon. It’s hard to tell what it is, though. The statue continues to speak, “Though our actions should be of no concern to you.”

Rosso is the one to talk next, “And why not?” He asked, placing a hand on his hip, “I mean, if you guys are trying to harm the people on this planet, then why shouldn’t we try to stop you.”

“Harm the people of this planet?” The statue echoed, its voice holding a hint of either confusion or amusement, still unmoving. The dragon beside it seemed to be preparing itself, though for what was unclear, though it was most likely a fight. The statue began to speak more, “And what of us? We could very well be of this planet as well… You’d have no way of knowing.”

While the statue certainly had a point, to some extent, there was no denying that it and the dragon that was with it seemed to pose a threat to everyone else. “It doesn’t matter if you’re from this planet or not,” Grigio called out, moving closer to her brothers, who were acting as a barrier between her and the monsters, “If you’re going to harm others on this planet then we’ll stop you.”

With what might have been a chuckle, the statue countered, “And what makes that your duty? You most certainly are not of this planet.” It seemed about ready to pull its weapon, going so far to begin to do so, before stopping, returning the weapon to where it belonged, and turning its attention to the dragon. The dragon looked up, meeting eyes with the statue, and smiled what was certainly a toothy smile. The statue added, “Yes… I believe you have little say in what occurs here. The actions of those of this planet are none of your concern and it would do you best to leave now. Drabestia?”

At what must have been its name, the dragon, Drabestia, turned its attention to Rosso, Blu, and Grigio and shifted its position. The statue slowly moved a few steps away, giving the dragon room to unfurl its wings, which had vines and foliage wrapped around them.

“I think,” Grigio began, “We’re going to have to fight them.”

Blu nodded, “Probably,” The two moved into a fighting stance in front of her, while she moved back a bit, summoning her bow.

Drabestia roared, then with strong flaps of its wings, took off into the sky. Rosso and Blue wasted no time in following, though Grigio hesitated a bit. She wasn’t quite so good at fighting while flying – it was mostly the lack of any sort of solid ground for her to use to keep herself… orientated – and it made it hard to keep track of what was going on, because it could be occurring anywhere around you. She was half tempted just to let her brothers deal with it – they were, after all, better at fighting in the sky than she was – but at the same time, with this statue guy still on the ground and this overall just bad feeling she had, she really didn’t want to do that.

Choice made, Grigio jumps into the sky, gripping her bow ever so slightly tighter. In the small amount of time that she’d stayed on her ground, her brothers had already begun to fight Drabestia. She found them just in time to see Blu counter the dragon’s flame breath with a jet of water. Taking a deep breath, she aimed her bow, preparing an arrow in her hand. Just aim at the dragon and fire, it should be easy.

Unfortunately for her, by the time she’d created the arrow, the dragon had spun itself around, using its tail to knock Rosso and Blu away from it. Then, wrapping its wings in slightly, it changed from simply staying in one place to flying away, closer to her. That… wasn’t good. Bows get a bit less effective the closer your target gets, but she was so close to firing.

The arrow still flew out of her hands, the bow launching it towards Drabestia. It landed on the front shoulder of one of the legs, but seemed to do little. As a matter of fact, Drabestia didn’t even seem to notice that it had just been shot by an arrow. It just continued flying toward her.

Shit. See, this is the sort of situation that tended to slip her up while flying. In theory, she knows all she has to do is move out of the way, but for some reason, it seems all the harder when she doesn’t have some sort of grounding. Still, she does her best to move, barely dodging Drabestia’s open jaw – filled with sharp teeth – and claws – equally as sharp as the teeth.

Though Drabestia flew past her, it was quick to make adjustments to its flight path, coming right back up towards Grigio. At this point, though, Rosso and Blu had wasted no time in joining her, pushing her behind them. There’s a twinge of annoyance at how her brothers did that, but she chose to ignore it, for now. There were more important things to worry about.

Blu flies forward, punching the dragon in its side. In retaliation, the monster turns itself and claws at him, managing to get a few slashes in before Rosso kicks him away. The two continued to fight the monster while Grigio took a moment to collect herself. Flight or not, now was not the time to get flustered, she had to stay focused. She attempts to shoot another arrow, but Drabestia and her brothers are moving around too much and she didn’t want to risk shooting Rosso or Blu.

With a groan, she abandoned her bow, instead choosing to summon her sword. It really wasn’t her preferred method, but it would have to do. She thought for a moment, while she had the time, about summoning one of her Kaijus. Most couldn’t fly, but she had Bemstar and Litra, which both could. They could prove to be helpful… But her brothers weren’t used to fighting with them, she was worried that might cause some confusion. She shook her head, deciding that for now, at least, it was best she didn’t, as much as she might have wanted to.

She dodges out of the way of some errant flames from Drabestia and returned her attention to the fight. Rosso and Blu both kicked Drabestia, causing the dragon to get pushed into some clouds. There was a pause, everyone waiting for the beast to emerge. Nothing. No roar, no wing flaps.

Nothing.

Blu scratched the top of his head, “Did we beat it?”

Somehow, Grigio didn’t really buy that. She looked around, realizing that the bank of clouds Drabestia had been knocked into was a lot bigger than she initially thought. Really, it could be anywhere in there.

“I don’t think so…” Rosso responded, also looking around for the monster, “It must be hiding in the clouds.”

“Wouldn’t we notice it?”

Grigio sees something, movement, in the clouds. It’s off to the side, just out of her brothers’ view. But she was farther away, she had a bigger view, she could see what they couldn’t. Springing into motion, she called to her brothers and thrusted her sword out, hoping she correctly figured out where the monster would be. She can feel that she made contact with something, and that something was moving, not really stopped by her attack.

Drabestia roars, veering off course and ends up flying right past her brothers. It heads towards the ground, for one reason or another. The three of them follow, Rosso and Blu arrive first since they were closer, though their Color Timers began to flash when they neared the ground. They took attacks from the monster, so they unsurprisingly had less time left than Grigio. Drabestia is now at the feet of the statue, an annoyed look on its face. One wing is folded in, but the other is held out, like the way one might hold out a particularly offending item.

It’s clear, now, why it had to land. There’s a rather large gash in the wing, which clearly made flight hard, if not impossible. Grigio must have made it with her sword when she stabbed at Drabestia.

The statue took a moment to examine the damage done to Drabestia, “They damaged your wing?” It inquired, “Hmm… I see.”

Blu glanced at Rosso and the two nod. Quickly, they send out a beam attack at Drabestia, most likely hoping to finish it now that it had been forced to the ground. In a movement far too fast for what the statue appeared to be, it drew its weapon and destroyed the attacks in one movement. Now, in the statue’s hand, it was clear that it wielded a staff of sorts, though it too was covered in moss.

“It is clear to me what must occur now,” The statue mused, though its tone still seemed to hold no emotion, “It is time to do what we did when we first awoke on this planet.”

With what might have been a grand sweep of its hands, were the movement not so stiff, the statue declared, “The inhabitants of this Earth shall fight to decide who shall live. And this time,” There seemed to be a pointed sort of look, though it was unclear who it was aimed at, “We shall not let a ‘compromise’ come to pass.”

There’s some sort of flash, it’s not clear what exactly happened, and the two are gone. “What?” Blu startled, “Where’d they go?”

But Grigio couldn’t help but echo the statue’s words, “A compromise?” Whatever could that mean? And what did it mean when it said that the inhabitants would have to fight to decide who would live? And what was that about that happening when they first woke up?

If Grigio recalled correctly, Kaijus had always been on Earth, but around a few hundred years ago, they woke up, resulting in the way Earth was now. That was what was known as “The Awakening”. But there was something else, wasn’t there? Something she’d read about in one of Tomomi’s books and meant to ask him about but never did. But just what was it? She couldn’t precisely recall, it had been months ago, after all.

Rosso sighed, seemingly unaware of Grigio’s ponderings, “Let’s just… Go back to that base, yeah?” He stretched slightly, “We’ll figure out what to do from there.” He has the right idea, really, there’s not much to be gained from sticking around, especially with Rosso and Blu’s timers flashing.

Blu and Grigio nod and the three siblings return to their human selves.

---

“So, do we even know what that guy was talking about?” Isami inquired, watching idly as footage of the conversation with the statue and the fight with Drabestia played on screen. “That statue guy, I mean,” He clarified, though it was likely everyone knew what he meant.

Katsumi watched the screen for a moment, before saying, “They said something about doing what they did when they first woke up?” He tilted his head, “That they’d make everyone on Earth fight each other to decide who’d live and that they wouldn’t allow for a ‘compromise’ like before.”

“We heard,” Fuyuko frowned, crossing her arms, “As a matter of fact, it seems like nearly everyone in the country did, if not the entire world.”

“It does kinda pertain to them,” Rin notes with a tug of their scarf and a neutral tone, “Although I’m more curious about the implication this has all happened before.”

It’s then Tomomi speaks up, walking over with a book. Asahi thinks she recognizes it as one of the books in his apartment, but she’d not entirely sure. “It’s not so much an implication as a fact,” He says, opening the book to a page with a scrap of paper between the pages. “It was an event known as ‘The Terrible Fights’. A couple decades after The Awakening, when Kaijus awoke on this planet, there were many reported instances of Kaijus suddenly attacking humans and human settlements, as well as humans suddenly trying to attack the monsters.”

“They didn’t always do that here?” Inquired Isami, a certain light of curiosity in his eyes.

Tomomi shook his head, “No, when they first appeared, they were peaceful, much like they are now. At that time, though, no one had ever really heard of a Kaiju attack. So the suddenness of them all starting to occur caused quite the commotion, on top of the attacks themselves.” He flips the page of the books, “While it’s rather recent history, a lot of the details aren’t entirely clear. No one ever learned why the attacks started happening. But we do know how things came to be like they are today, to some extent, at least. Those involved in the matter didn’t really give a lot of specifics.”

“What happened?” Asahi prompted.

“A group of humans came together and somehow managed to speak with the monsters to calm them down.” He explained, adjusting his glasses with his free hand, “Like I said, we don’t really know the details and those humans should be long gone…”

“I feel like there’s going to be a but in there.” Jun noted in a sour tone, arms crossed.

After seemingly debating with himself for a moment, Tomomi tentatively spoke, “Well, there’s something of a rumor… Or something like that. Anyway, some people think that one of those humans wasn’t actually human, that they were an Alien and that’s how they were able to communicate with the monster.” Quickly, he added, “Although, that’s just a rumor and there really isn’t any evidence to support it.”

There’s silence, “So what you’re getting at,” Asahi began, “Is that these monsters might be the cause of The Terrible Fights before and are trying to start them again?”

“Yeah,” Tomomi nods, closing the book, “Or something like that.”

It would certainly make sense, at least given what the statue had said. Not that knowing that did them a lot of good, all it gave them was an idea of what the statue was planning. Regardless, they needed a bit more to go off of if they were going to try to do anything other than to wait for the statue and Drabestia to show up again.

Fuyuko stands, “Well, now all we have to do is figure out what to do next,” She seems contemplative, drumming her fingers on her desk, “We don’t have a lot to work with, which makes it hard to determine a course of action.”

Though he may have been quiet the entire time Tomomi was relaying information, Matsuoka chose now to speak up, “While there isn’t much we can do,” He said, nodding slightly, “I believe there are a few things we’ll need to do. One, we’ll need to look into the connection between those two monsters and The Terrible Fights. Two, we’ll need to look into the possibility that one of those humans wasn’t actually and may still be alive. Three, we mustn’t forget what brought Asahi and her brothers here, even if they are able to help us with these two Kaijus.”

“In that regard,” Isami begins, “There isn’t much we can do until Kenshin shows himself, we have very little idea what his plan is.”

Asahi pipes in, “Yeah, all we really know is that he wants revenge on at least Rosso and Blu, if not Grigio as well.”

That statement sits there for a moment, before Tomomi sighs, “We’ll need to do something about those two monsters before they can actually cause damage. Directly or indirectly,” He glances out the window, “But if monsters start rampaging, we’re not going to be able to stop them all at once, even with the help of Ultras.”

“So then,” Rin said, their expression a bit more serious, “We can’t waste time in trying to stop them.”

Tomomi nods and Matsuoka begins to speak again, “I think we’ve figured out enough of a course of action, then. Tomomi, you’ll look into the two monsters’ involvement in the past,” He looked at Katsumi, Isami, and Asahi, “I’d like you three to look into this possible Alien, since you’re not known as a member of KPaRS, other Aliens may be more willing to talk to you. Fuyuko, keep an eye on the going ons in the city, we need to be able to know if humans begin to become agitated. Hisoka will be keeping an eye on known Kaiju, Rin and Jun will stay here in case there’s a Kaiju attack. Chikako and Katsuhito, along with the rest of their team, will be on standby for any needed emergency repairs.”

Everyone nods and sets about to do their job. Tomomi left the room to do his research and Fuyuko also left, though for different reasons. Asahi smiles and calls for her brothers to follow as she begins to leave the room. The best place to look for Aliens is among Aliens. There’s a few places in the city that are essentially Alien neighborhoods, those would probably be the best place to start. She relays such to her brothers, glad to be able to do something with them to help.

They were out and about the city, now, a bit outside of the first of the neighborhoods. If they were lucky, they might find some lead or another, though it was pretty unlikely on the first try. “Well, it’s great you have an idea where to start looking, Asahi,” Isami began, tentatively.

“You didn’t get too hurt during that fight, right?” Katsumi finished, “If you did it’s fine to stay behind…”

Asahi stops in her tracks, turning to look at her brothers, her lips arching ever so slightly into just the smallest form of a frown. “I’m fine.” She said, “You two are the ones who were actually getting hit.”

It hadn’t avoided her notice how quickly they’re Color Timers had began to flash when fighting Drabestia, at least compared to hers. Nor had she missed how they seemed to be a bit sore – and she imagined were it not for their sleeves and shirts, she’d be able to see plenty of bruises. She could actually see a few on Isami, as his shirt had a bit lower neck than Katsumi’s button up. She understood their concern, but as far as she could tell, they should be more concerned about each other, or her about them.

“We’re fine, a little sore but we’ve had worse.” Katsumi responded, though she knew he was fudging the truth. Yes, they had been through worse, but they were certainly more than “a little sore”. They were trying to make themselves seem better off than they were.

With just a slightly irritated sigh, Asahi fought to keep her ever so small frown from growing any bigger. “Sure, a little sore. But you don’t need to worry about me too much, I’ve fought monsters on my own before, or with my Kaijus, I can take a few hits, if I have to.” She didn’t miss how both Katsumi’s and Isami’s lips formed into a frown. “I’m an Ultra too, after all. You don’t always have to worry about me.”

“Well, I mean, yeah, but…” Isami had a bit of a habit of stumbling his words a little when he was getting a bit worked up. It usually happened when he and Katsumi got into a disagreement about how to do something. That made it odd to hear directed at Asahi. “You’re our younger sister, of course we’re going to worry.”

Deep breathes, Asahi had to remind herself, they’re allowed to worry. Though their worry wasn’t really what she had a problem with. What often happened was that they wouldn’t let her help much, because they were so worried about her getting hurt. But she was just as capable as them, just in different ways. Not to mention she had her Kaijus. She just had to figure out how to explain that to them, which was always harder than knowing what she the point she wanted to get across was.

“That’s fine,” She said, steeling herself, “But please, let me help. With these two monsters, with Kenshin. I’ve protected this Earth before so let me do it again. I know you worry but that doesn’t mean you can try to keep me from helping.”

Katsumi tilted his head, “Asahi, fights are dangerous and you don’t have a lot of skills that are good for actual fights.” Asahi’s expression most certainly held a not so small frown, now. “I know you’ve protected this planet before, but maybe you should just leave it to us, this time.”

“Yet you let me help so we can become Grube?” She asked, clenching her fists. “You let me help when the two of you are still doing most of the work.”

Katsumi reached a hand out as Isami tried to begin, “That’s not-“

With a groan, Asahi cut him off, “That’s not how it is? Sure it’s not.” She turned around, knowing this wasn’t a conversation she was going to be able to continue. It seemed like her brothers weren’t moving on the matter. “How about we stop wasting time? You two want me to stay safe? You can go and ask around.”

There’s silence for a moment, she thinks she can hear Isami begin to speak again, only for Katsumi to whisper something to him. They whisper back and forth for a bit, before she hears their footsteps going away from her. At least some work would be gotten done.

Asahi plopped down on a bench and leaned her head back, closing her eyes.

“Are you, uh… Are you alright?” A voice asks, sounding like it belongs to a child. Opening her eyes, Asahi is greeted with a young, but concerned face. It belonged to a  girl, probably no older than twelve – Asahi was still bad at guessing children’s ages – with brown hair held in pigtails, glasses over her dark brown eyes. She wore a button up shirt with a little bow around her neck and a red hoodie, with a pattern on the hood – the same pattern seemed to be present on her skirt as well. “You, uh, well, I couldn’t help but notice, that you, uh, had a bit of an argument there.”

The girl sat next to her on the bench, peering at her. The girl examined her, waiting patiently for her to respond. Asahi took a moment to think. She didn’t know this girl, but she felt as though she needed someone to talk to right now. It wasn’t like she hadn’t spoke to people she didn’t know when things were bugging her before. A stranger showing concern wasn’t necessarily trustworthy, but not knowing them didn’t make them untrustworthy, even if it was hard to tell.

After that moment of thought, Asahi sighed, “My brothers and I had a bit of an argument, that’s all.”

Beside her, the girl frowned, “I see… I don’t know much about siblings, I don’t have any of my own… But I have some friends who are siblings… They argue sometimes too…” The frown deepens, “I’m sorry. I’m trying to be helpful, but I’m afraid emotions like this aren’t exactly my strong suit. I’m more of a science kind of girl, rather than feelings.”

“Oh! Don’t worry about it!” Asahi waved her hands, “You don’t have to worry about me. Arguments are normal and my problems aren’t a big deal for you.”

The girl takes a moment to think about Asahi’s words. She looks around, as if in thought, “I see… Oh, um… You can call me Starry,” She said, looking over again, “And I have to ask, what brings you around here? This isn’t exactly a place that humans tend to be. Unless you’re not human…?”

It takes Asahi a moment to process Starry’s words. Frankly, she hadn’t really thought about anyone questioning why she was here, really, she just figured everyone would either keep to themselves or assume she was an Alien. With a name like Starry, she could assume that this girl was an Alien herself – it would certainly explain her presence here. But Asahi still had to figure out what exactly to tell Starry. Or maybe she could just be honest, or something.

“My brothers and I, we’re looking into some rumors about stuff that happened at the end of The Terrible Fights,” The truth it is, it seemed. “So we thought this would be a good place to, well, ask around.”

Starry is contemplative, for a moment, tilting her head as she hummed in thought. “I see,” She muttered, then her eyes brightened, ever so slightly, as a smile formed on her face, “I’ve also been doing a bit of research into The Terrible Fights. Perhaps I can help you?”

That was… a surprise. “Oh, well, uh, I don’t know…” Words stumbled out of Asahi’s mouth at the unexpected offer. “I, uh, I suppose? We’re trying to figure out how exactly the humans and monsters were able to reach a peace.”

“Well, while I don’t know that, I think I can point you in the direction of someone who might,” With cheer, Starry supplied her information, “You see, I happen to know of the existence of an Alien who lives in a town not too far from here. He lived through The Terrible Fights, from what I’ve heard. Maybe he can help you?”

Asahi contemplated Starry’s words, it was curious that she knew this and Asahi wondered how. Still, she found herself replying, “It might,” Starry beams, seeming inordinately happy at providing such a small amount of information. Asahi continues, “I guess we’d have to look into it.”

“Happy to help!” Starry chirps, then pulls a cellphone out of her pocket. The screen lights up and she frowns, “Ah, sorry, I have to go. My friends will worry if I don’t get back soon.”

Standing up, she runs off with little else said, leaving Asahi to watch her leave. Asahi can’t help but wonder how accurate the information she’d been given was. It came from a child, after all, though that has never really mattered before. She figured she wait and see if her brothers found anything, then she could relay the information to them.

With a sigh, she tilts her head back again. Now she just had to wait, hoping that they’d be able to find a way to deal with everything. Then there was Kenshin – who knows what he’ll try to do. If they’re lucky, it’ll wait until these two monsters were dealt with.

[imaconstantmess]

Until Part 3/?

Part 3 to this series, sorry it’s been a while but recently I’ve had tons of online work to do, as always this is my first story so thoughts would be appreciated ❤️

Steve x gender neutral! Reader

Steve’s mind has been occupied for the past few weeks, and it’s got something to do with the recruit he’s been assigned to train.

Bit more Bucky and Sam oriented

Warnings: mentions abuse, mild threats.

————————————————————

Bucky and Sam did one last final check of your apartment, just to make sure they hadn’t missed anything important. After they got off the phone to you, their attitudes dropped slightly when they saw the damage that had been done the night before.

“It’s a good job Steve didn’t see this, he might throw the guy out of the window” sam said as he was walking around the mess Tyler had made. “This could’ve done some real damage” he said as he heard a soft crunch under his shoe. He’d stepped on a little piece of pot.

“I know, look at the size of the hole in the wall” Bucky traced the wall, the hole was bigger than a fist. “But about Steve seeing the damage, he may or may not have already seen it.” Bucky said in a quiet tone.

“What you mean, already seen it?” Sam crosses his arms over his chest with his eyebrow raised.

“Had a few issues with the camera. Y/n didn’t seem bothered...” Bucky remarked as he adjusted the backpack on his shoulder.

Sam let out a small laugh “damn it Barnes, if Steve sees the guy he’s going to rearrange his face. Not like Y/n couldn’t, but Steves got that whole hero complex going on”

Bucky wished he could argue. Even before the serum Steve would always stand up for what’s right, which wouldn’t be a bad thing if Steve didn’t end up getting jumped in alleys for it. Little punk would never walk away, always tried to hit back. Before Bucky could come up with a decent remark, the men heard the door open.

“What the hell! Who are you?! I’m calling the police!” Tyler looked frantic as he fumbled with his mobile phone. Sam and Bucky gave each other a look before Bucky snatched the phone from Tyler’s hands, and gently threw it on the couch at the other side of the room. They both pinned Tyler down with a stare, but next to Bucky, with his murder face and metal hand on full display, Sam hated to admit he didn’t feel quite as intimidating as he would have liked. With both of them making eye contact with Tyler, he recognised them. He doesn’t know if he should feel relieved or worried, because he’s only a civilian and wasnt really an avengers level threat. But then again, he had not one, but two avengers in his living room looking like they wanted to choke him. With a shaky breath and a tense body, Tyler spoke again.

“Why are you here?” He looked between them and noticed they were holding bags. Your bags. Then it dawned on him where you worked, and the people you knew. He hadn’t really paid attention to what you were saying when you went on about work, he thought you were exaggerating your position to make yourself look good. He didn’t actually think you were on speaking terms with any of the avengers except Steve and Bucky, but that was because he assumed you were cheating. He saw the way you smiled at Bucky when you met him in the street one day. He figured it had to be either him or captain fucking America. In his mind, this just proved his theory. Before Sam or Bucky could reply, Tyler carried on.

“Come to get your lovers things? Fucking typical. I knew there was something going on...” Tyler spat, aiming his little jab towards Bucky.

“Wait hold up, lover? What the hell are you talking about?” Sam was very confused, and was done with this guys shit. “They ain’t lovers. Y/n’s been loyal to you for reasons I cannot comprehend” Sam sassily gave back while gesturing to the wall. “They’ve left your ass, and we’ve come to get their stuff because we’re tight like that. You give y/n any trouble, wether it be on social media, the press, real life or otherwise” Sam got closer to Tyler’s face, being taller than him by a few inches. Tyler gulped. “shield will rain down harassment and abuse lawsuits on you so hard it might as well have come from the Holy Ghost.” Sams voice was low, and Bucky smirked at the terrified look on Tyler’s face. Sam stood straight, and walked past him to the door, bumping shoulders with him so hard he nearly fell. Picking up another bag, Sam made his way out the door and down the hallway, leaving Tyler alone with Bucky.

Tyler turned to Bucky and expected him to follow after Sam, but was surprised to find Bucky leaning casually against the wall, not saying anything and staring. It’s a technique Bucky remembered from his winter soldier days, to use on weak targets. Silence and staring made people squirm, and Bucky wanted him to be as uncomfortable as possible. Then after about 2 minutes, Bucky suddenly got up from the wall and to his delight, Tyler jumped.

That was when Bucky finally spoke. “See, people like you boil my blood. Make me wonder if it’s worth saving the planet when there’s asswipes like you walking around” Bucky was circling Tyler, voice low and gravelly.

Saving the planet. Bucky slipped that in there to remind Tyler what he was capable of, if the whirring of his metal arm didn’t do the trick. He held back a smile when he saw Tyler start to break a sweat. Bucky stopped his circling, and stood in front of the shaking mess that was your ex boyfriend. Bucky leaned in close, voice low, almost whispering.

“I know a few people who wouldn’t care how they hurt you. They would make sure your body was never found. The list includes master assassins, half of shield, a genius..” the look on Tyler’s face was pure fear. Bucky thought how the team who had superhuman abilities would react. “Thor would kill you quick. Dr banner... well you know what he’s like when he’s angry with people. Wanda would keep you alive, messing with your head. As for me and Steve...”

Bucky rolled his shoulders, metal arm making a dangerous sound. Tyler looked ready to pass out. “We’ve been in the toughest war fronts you could possibly imagine. Steve has a habit of jumping out of planes with no parachute, and comes out without a scratch, and I have this metal arm. We’re super soldiers. And you pissed us off.” Bucky grabbed Tyler’s shirt with his metal arm and pinned him against the wall.

“You’ve personally pissed off Captain America. Not very patriotic is it?” Tyler didn’t dare say a word. “I asked you a question” Bucky stared him down.

“N-no.. it- it’s not.” He couldn’t get a word out. Bucky wouldnt usually do this, but he saw steves reaction on the phone. He’s only ever seen that look when they were facing the enemy, weather it be an alien or a scumbag on a mission. If Bucky did this, it would stop Steve from seeking Tyler out personally. And you were his friend, he was mad too.

“That’s what I thought.” Bucky let go of Tyler’s shirt and hap hazardly smoothed it down. “ we’ll be back. I don’t know when. Y/ns not coming back here. If any of their stuff is broken or missing... well I’ll leave that up to your imagination.” Bucky stepped back, and walked out the door leaving Tyler almost crying.

With a satisfied smirk, Bucky made his way to the car and put your bag in the back and got in the front. Sam turned to him with an annoyed expression. “You didn’t kill him did you? You were in there a while”

“No, just threatened him a little on behalf of the team. I think he’s crying” Bucky said with a shrug. Sam let out a small laugh as he drove towards steves apartment.

————————————————————

Steve hadn’t taken his arm from you, and you weren’t moving. The tv was on, and you were just chatting quietly every now and then, just being relaxed in each other’s presence. It was a nice, strangely intimate gesture from both of you, but still remaining platonic. You got up to grab some bags from Sam and Bucky, and took them into the bedroom to find a quick change of clothes and some deodorant. As you were getting ready, Bucky and Sam sat down on the sofa with Steve to wait. Sam spoke up

“So we ran into Tyler at the apartment” he said casually watching steves reaction. He stayed still. Unnaturally still. The kind of still you go when you’re trying not to give anything away.

“ yeah?” Steves reply was short. He wanted to be angry, but he was captain America. He needed to pull it together.

“ uh huh. Went through the whole ‘I’m calling the police’ thing.” Sam imitated in an unflattering voice which made Bucky chuckle.

Bucky piped up “so naturally, we threatened him. Sam went for the ‘say a bad thing against y/n and we’re gonna sue your ass’. I went for the more subtle approach of pinning him against the wall and telling him how anyone from the team could kill him and get away with it. You know, nothing too serious.” Steve let out a smile at that, and his posture became natural again. He felt a lot better now, knowing how intimidating Bucky can be. The only thing bothering him was how he didn’t get to do it himself. When you emerged from the bedroom, you smiled at the men who were now chatting amongst themselves.

“You guys ready to go?” They looked at you and smiled, getting up to leave. When you turned to get your jacket, Steve noticed what you were wearing. You wore a tight, crew necked black shirt which showed you off in just the right way, and some simple navy blue jeans. You looked... nice. That was the word Steve would use. Seeing you relaxed in normal clothing, fresh faced and not dishevelled from training was refreshing. It made you look more... civilian. Domestic. Like you were friends with Steve past being work colleagues. Seeing you like this, made Steve strangely feel normal. And he supposed that today, he was.

He wasn’t captain America when he ordered a burger that day. He was a guy who went out with his friends, missing brunch and settling for lunch instead. He wasn’t captain America when he laughed at Sam for spilling his dinner on his shirt, or when he was smiling at you when you were in a deep conversation with Bucky explaining the plot of starwars. He was Steve Rogers. He hadn’t felt that way in a long time, and he basked in the fact that he was Steve Rogers today. He never got time to be ordinary. That was until he laughed with you. He never got to show people his ordinary side, afraid they’d prefer the star spangled man.

Until a recruit showed him how to be himself again.

Until you.

————————————————————

A/n: made this a little shorter, and hopefully easier to read? It’s my first story so as always please give criticism, especially if there was anything you didn’t like. Thank you for taking the time to read it though 😇

[ill-be-istj-if-no-one-else-is]

I received a question longer than 8 parts that I’m going to post here (it was off anon, so I’m not revealing the identity of the question asker). I’m not going to answer it because my FAQ very clearly sets an 8 question limit and also as you will see it didn’t actually provide a lot of useful information despite the length. I am however going to talk through some of the issues, specifically relating to unnecessary information. Needless to say this will be a very long post hence the read more link.

Before I begin I want to give the origins of the 8 question limit:

-it’s an arbitrary number. felt it was generous and iirc I did go back and look at some past questions to see what was on the longer but still reasonable side

-I did it mainly because copying and pasting each individual question is tedious and also there is a limit to how much I’d like to read and also some people see ‘no more than 8 parts’ and instead of interpreting this as “I should edit myself as thoughtfully as possible” say “I should expand whatever I have to say to 8 parts long, even if it really is only 6 parts worth of material” so 8 was a number I could live with.

-I have yet to find an 8+ part question that couldn’t have been edited to a much shorter question while still keeping the same amount, case in point:

I'm asking for outside help because I've been on a hamster wheel for years where I believe I found my type get happy for a couple hours/days, find all the "signs" of me being that type all along and then...wake up not believing it. Or I see/read something that type is supposed to do/think like that doesn't fit me at al, or see someone I'd like to be like that it's another type and start digging again. I desperately need to arrive at a final typing because it's driving me crazy, I can't quit 1/9

Any preamble that amounts to “could you please type me” can be summarized to “could you please type me?”, a 5 -word phrase. This might however be the preamble that hits the most of my “oh I do not want to engage with this” buttons though:

Long and pleading which makes me kind of uncomfortable, like I do not know you and I don’t handle pleading and begging well anyway

Overinvestment in figuring out their type when often it’s times like this when taking an extended break from MBTI would likely be the best thing for you and indeed your overemphasis in getting an answer rather than learning about yourself might be what’s making it so hard to type

Also when someone says they’ve been trying and trying for years I get nervous because there is a very real chance they’re going to say a lot of stuff that is consciously or unconsciously pulled directly from MBTI descriptions and it’s going to be absolutely useless to work with.

[I should note for this and the rest of my criticism: I have, obviously a whole lot of preferences and dislikes and expecting you to cater to all of them would be completely ridiculous. Had this been an 8-part question I would have answered it, even if that answer might have been “I can’t tell”. As is, however, I’m hoping this might serve as some insight into how to make your question as good as possible which as a bonus will make me more likely to spend lots of time on it because I will be impressed and delighted by your effort.]

When interested in something I gotta find out how it works, or how it’s made. I find that as interesting as the thing itself. I see the way different elements can influence each other in arriving at a certain outcome, and I make decisions according to it. I trust my own reading of what’s probably going on. I trust patterns, things are often connected, not a coincidence. I usually judge fast and hard. I can change my mind very quickly if new facts comes in, but I’m very rarely neutral or 2/9

Some examples would be nice. I mean maybe this person is intuitive and maybe a thinker, although that first preamble didn’t sound very thinker to me, but also everything here is purely in the realm of subjectivity. Obviously we’re going to be subjective about ourselves, but a big part of why I want examples is that it forces people to not say stuff that sounds like it’s ripped directly from a type description.

or uncertain about things/people.I don’t like to make promises because of independence and not wanting to promise what I can’t deliver. I dedicate so much time to my personal hobbies I forget my chores. I tend to get obsessed in finding an answer to something until I get so dizzy/overwhelmed I’m forced to step back (typing myself in different theories is the best example). Hate to see people passing on wrong information and therefore misleading others. I gotta step up and correct them. 3/9

This is fine, I’d still like clearer and more specific examples but it’s fine; the one criticism is when someone starts taking about how they approach MBTI as an example in typing them it’s like PLEASE DO A HOBBY THAT ISN’T ABOUT NAVEL-GAZING, IT WILL IRONICALLY BE MORE HELPFUL.

I have very high standards, specially towards myself. My pride is heavily tied to being great at the things I care about, or am expected to perform. Really can’t stand biased judgements and behaviour by others, and police it in myself too. Truth is my #1 value. I have a natural thirst for and ease at handling a lot of data about whatever I’m interested in. One of biggest pet peeves is resistance to facts. I’m highly observant of things and people around me, there’s so much information I get 4/9

 Okay this sounds kind of like a repeat/rephrasing of a lot of the information in the first two actual content parts (talking about interests, thirst for knowledge, judgement), and editing that down probably could have saved you an ask space thus getting you your answer. If you find yourself running long, go back and see if you are repeating yourself. I do this a lot! When I make blog posts here I don’t care, because this is my place and I do what I want, but I have a tendency to ramble in emails too and I always do a second pass if it’s longer than a paragraph to make sure all the information in there is helpful in making the point I need to make and isn’t repetitive (unless my point is DON’T FORGET THIS FOR THE LOVE OF GOD in which case some thoughtful repetition is often good).

advice, or cried in front of others myself so I can’t relate.I’m very open minded when it comes to physical differences, cultures, orientations etc. But I have a Strong sense of wrong and right that when crossed leads to indignation and promptly “cancealing” people, cutting them off my life. I felt very uneasy when I realized that things I felt a connection to (favorite color, number, animal, flower) lost their meaning to me. Logically I know it’s not a big deal, but it felt like I lost 6/9

so I think we lost a question here (I got 9 questions, but the last question said 10/10) which is another reason to keep it short – fewer opportunities for tumblr to eat it. Although, had two questions been eaten by Tumblr I would have probably answered this, but that’s probably not a gamble you want to make. Anyway this is emphasizing the strong judgements again, and a little emphasis is actually fine – it helps me know what is really important to you – but again, if you’re running long that should be a thing to cut, after the unnecessary preamble.

something. .I need to express my thoughts/opinions, but my feelings are private.I have a huge fear of failure that holds me back. I’m terrified of finding out I suck at what I’d love to do, so I keep that as a fantasy and don’t try it out, to not kill the possibility. I have self sabotaged to keep myself in “safe” spaces but I have realized the reason I’ve been so restless is because I have to honor my ambitions which have always been big and bold. Mistakes and deficiencies jump out at me 7/9

 The information here is mostly fine (although again with the expressing and strong feelings), but it’s also again without examples. There have been precious few examples here, and that’s really difficult to type from – again, I’m not saying it’s easy or even fully possible to be objective about yourself, but sometimes people say “I have a thirst for knowledge” and it means they are pursuing a PhD in philosophy, and sometimes it means they are someone who thinks that reading Wikipedia pages is a personality. [brief aside on that – I don’t want to say reading Wikipedia pages is bad. It’s not. I do it. Yesterday I was interested in how African prints were made and I looked up the Wikipedia page on them, which after a few clicks into related subjects brought me to a page about the androgynous water deity Olukun who originated in Yoruba faith traditions, and it was super interesting. But like…this is just a thing most generally curious people do and not a particularly unique or special indicator that you are smart, which is how it often seems to be intended.] Anyway my point is: examples, examples, examples. If you give specific examples I will be so much happier and more excited to type you because I actually feel like I can say something meaningful.

like neon, I can make very precise and detailed of anything’s quality in seconds. I have little patience with people that are not interested in improvement or resist positive change. Something that drives me nuts is lack of punctuality and money managing skills. I’m very annoyed by unrealistic people that ignore logic or constraints like resources. I’m equally impatient with people who only operate on what’s on the surface and is accepted as true: people who never question the common sense 8/9

Again there’s just…no examples. There’s also been a lot about what this person likes and doesn’t like about other people, and that would better be taken up by information (and examples!) about themself.

or status quo, that trust everything authorities” or the media tells them and never do their own research.I often don’t feel the need to actually do things to see if they’ll work, or try things out to see if I’ll like them. I’m pretty certain of things even before I experience them. I’m not inclined to be diplomatic and persuade. I convince by proving something with evidence, or making they see reason through logic argumentation, and point out possible consequences of choices. I compare 9/9

I’m always a little skeptical of people who think The Media is a monolith, just in general, but that’s neither here nor there. Also, here’s a reason why examples are useful – they provide context into the situation which addresses the very natural conflicts within people, vs. this: “I often don’t feel the need to actually do things to see if they’ll work, or try things out to see if I’ll like them. I’m pretty certain of things even before I experience them” coming from someone who just claimed they value truth above all. Like…this is at least in my opinion the opposite of what someone who values truth would say, because a person who values truth would check if things worked. Which isn’t to say this person is lying – but it means I’m going to have trouble because without, ironically enough, any evidence, which they say they like to use, I don’t know which of those conflicting statements is true or even if they are truly in conflict and just situationally dependent.

things/people a lot naturally because the similarities (and disparities) between them jump out. It’s hard for me to be really surprised at things, or at a person’s character.I’m impatient with learning and doing things that involve many steps/processes. I want to learn everything fast and am just now learning to grow discipline to stick to things in the long run if I don’t see quick progress. I find half baked concepts and theories very annoying, I don't like much ambivalence or vagueness 10/10

I don’t like much ambivalence or vagueness either, but here we are. Also, saying that you tend not to stick with things in the long run and are just developing the ability to do so if you don’t see quick progress does kind of make me have questions about you desperately trying to figure out your MBTI type for years as claimed before. Less is more because it gives you fewer opportunities to contradict yourself.

 Anyway, the takeaway: keep your preamble short (seriously - almost every time someone goes over the 8-part limit it’s at least partially because they talked about their MBTI typing journey for 1-2 asks when a single well-phrased sentence would be far more useful), keep your examples concrete and specific, focus on yourself more than what you think of others, and read what you wrote before sending it to me.

[battlestar-royco]

updated faq

Round 2! I tried to shorten the answers so as not to be repetitive, and I also added new FAQs for your convenience. My past self who wrote my first FAQ annoys me, and this one is more thorough anyway, so here you go. I still can’t believe you all actually interact with me enough that I have to make one of these.

Questions up here, answers under the cut.

anti sjm basics

1. why are you an anti?

2. why are you specifically anti SJM?

3. do you like anything about SJM’s books?

4. terminology and practices

5. why do you hold SJM to a higher standard than other authors?/why do you focus on criticizing this one woman more harshly than you do men?

6. did you see what xyz stan did?

7. are you an anti for non-SJM stuff?

best of (in my humble opinion)

diversity and sensitivity

8. I have a question about writing and/or how to portray xyz identity...

9. can you please tag...?

10. is it okay if I like [x author]/[y series] even if I know they’re problematic?

11. what are your suggestions for aspiring authors who want to write diversely?

personal

12. is it okay if I message you?

13. why don’t you post about books/shows/movies you actually like?

14. favorites?

15. book suggestions?

16. are you a writer/what are you writing/do you plan on publishing?

17. is it okay if I follow you on other social media?

18. fandom research

19. when did you start your blog?

20. how did you decide your url?

anti SJM basics

1. why are you an anti?

I love thinking critically about the media I consume. Though I wouldn’t say I’m particularly “anti” any text or author, some people classify any criticism as “anti.” To respect people in the main tags, I post in anti tags so they don’t have to see critical posts. Otherwise, I love talking about positive, neutral, and negative aspects of books.

2. why are you specifically anti SJM?

The Anti SJM Manifesto

What made you turn into an anti? x x

Rowan/Rowaelin: x x x

The fandom: x x x x x x

3. do you like anything about SJM’s books?

Yes. I like a lot of SJM’s ideas, but I don’t like how they’re executed at all. I highly enjoyed TAB, TOG-HOF, and the witch storyline of QOS. My favorite TOG characters are Manon, Chaol, Nehemia, and Sorscha. Honorable mention for Lysandra, Kaltain, and Asterin. My favorite ACOTAR characters are Nesta, Lucien, and Tarquin. Additional links: x x x x

If you want my positive thoughts on certain SJM characters, look up: “anti sjm: [character name]” and you’ll find them.

4. terminology and practices:

Anti SJM Glossary. Seeing as many of us have had bad experiences with stans and in one case, authors, we censor names so our posts stay in our own tags.

What is soap dick? From August 2018 x x.

Manongate? when KOA came out, Charlie Bowater’s promotional art (x) depicted Manon as Asian. Here’s more on why that’s a problematic and lazy decision on SJM and Bloomsbury’s part: x x.

5. why do you hold SJM to a higher standard than other authors?/why do you focus on criticizing this one woman more harshly than you do men?

SJM alone out of all the biggest YA authors has yet to make craft improvements or display a social awareness similar to what I’ve seen from her colleagues. I give all authors an equal chance, but SJM’s writing and behavior has significantly decreased in quality compared to other fantasy authors despite her books being lauded as complex and feminist works. However, I’m not perfect, so do feel welcome to send me an ask if you think I’m being unfair.

The anti SJM community is focused on women because we all mainly read women. Critiquing women doesn’t mean we are unaware, dismissive of, or silent about the issues in men’s work. The “anti” movements for the likes of GRRM do exist, but under a different name than “anti”–there are thousands of critical meta blogs, book/TV critics and reviewers, Youtubers, etc out there who discuss his flaws in depth. I also have lengthy anti GRRM, anti GOT, and anti ASOIAF tags. Finally, I personally find critiquing and discussing women’s work a lot more interesting, productive, and empowering than doing the same for men, especially because my blog’s focus is on the YA author/transformative fan community at large.

About Leigh Bardugo: x x x x x x x

About GRRM (and GOT): x x x x x x x

About Tolkien: I've only read The Hobbit and a third of Fellowship of the Ring, and I’ve only watched FotR, so I don’t say much about him at all.

6. did you see what xyz stan did?

Probably not, especially if what they did was off Tumblr. I don’t look at stan accounts unless someone informs me that my posts or I have come up in conversation on their blog. Any specific stan urls in asks will be redacted both for their privacy and my own well-being. Stans have doxxed, harassed, and discriminated against antis, including myself, so I’d rather save us all the trouble.

7. are you an anti for non-SJM stuff?

I most often talk about SJM’s books, but I’ve also been very critical of GOT/ASOIAF. Following GRRM, several other YA authors have appeared in positive, neutral, and critical lights. On the more critical side we have Cassandra Clare and JK Rowling, and a very little bit about Victoria Aveyard, John Green, Maggie Stiefvater, Stephenie Meyer, and Veronica Roth. Otherwise, I’ve talked about Susan Dennard, Rick Riordan, Leigh Bardugo, and Marie Rutkoski. Check out my YA critical tag for more. I’m also down to discuss franchises like Star Wars, Fantastic Beasts, MCU, etc, as well as TV shows. Basically anything big in genre fiction media, there’s a good chance I’ve read/watched it and I have opinions!

best of

anti SJM

Are the Illyrians MOC?

Moral Ambiguity Series

Anti Nessian

Lucien or Rhysand?

Chaol or Rowan?

misc.

why are period dramas like... that

White Feminism

a beginner’s guide to fandom racism

diversity and sensitivity

8. I have a question about writing and/or how to portray xyz identity...

First and foremost, check my “writing advice” and “writing advice: poc” tags to see if the question has already been answered.

I am black cis girl with a dual degree in women’s/gender studies and creative writing. I will best be able to answer questions regarding black characters, women, racial oppression and identity as a whole, and most questions about queer characters. There’s a chance I can provide a basic answer to questions about demographics outside of these, but I’ll most likely advise you to ask another blogger or seek out sensitivity readers.

9. can you please tag...?

Yes. Just send an ask and I’ll tag anything. I’ve turned off all Tumblr notifications for this account so I probably won’t see tag requests in comments unless you comment within a day or so of the post.

10. is it okay if I like [x author]/[y series] even if I know they’re problematic?

Absolutely. I’m not the liking-things police and I can’t control whether you like something or not. There’s no such thing as an unproblematic author or unproblematic series, so you just have to like what you like at your own discretion and with a critical eye. As long as you’re aware of the issues and not denying or ignoring them, maybe even seeking out other people whose opinions add to the conversation, you’re good. It’s exhausting to be 100% critical but harmful to be 100% uncritical, so you have to seek out critics you like and figure out how to maintain a dialogue with the text and/or the author. The balance is different for everyone but once you find it, it gets easier to keep up!

11. what are your suggestions for aspiring authors who want to write diversely?

Concepts to be aware of and tropes to avoid: male gaze, the Bechdel test, the Mako Mori test, the sexy lamp test, fridging, Orientalism, xenoface (called “the Gamora Phenomenon” on my blog), black best friend, Spicy Latina, Dragon Lady, bury your gays, disability narratives, queerbaiting.

What not to do when creating a culture.

My advice about writing POC.

Check out these blogs if you like: x x x.

Follow as diversely as possible. Follow multiple blogs, especially writing- or fandom-themed blogs, run by POC (especially women and LGBTQ+), bloggers from religiously marginalized groups, bloggers with disabilities, older bloggers, younger bloggers, international bloggers, plus size bloggers, etc. Everyone has different perspectives and opinions, so it’s best to read from multiple sources.

Magnify marginalized voices in conversations about diversity, and LISTEN to what they are telling you.

Read diversely! Read genre fiction written by marginalized people. Maybe even read some gender, queer, race, or disability theory if you like. I’m personally a fan of Audre Lorde, Anne McClintock, and Sara Ahmed, but I like a lot more.

Seek out multiple sensitivity readers for the specific identity you are trying to represent (ie if you are trying to write a Muslim woman, ask a Muslim woman to sensitivity read for you. Experiences are not interchangeable so don’t treat them as such).

Don’t let the research stop here. This is just the beginning. There are plenty of awesome and accessible resources out there if you want to know more. I started learning about this stuff on sites like Tumblr, Goodreads, and Youtube. The Goodreads review sections, especially for YA books, are so entertaining and full of commentators coming at texts with feminist, queer, and POC lenses if you look in the right spots. There are also podcasts and Youtube videos about feminism, history of queerbaiting, and such. Happy reading/listening/writing!

personal

12. is it okay if I message you?

If we’ve been mutuals and/or we’ve interacted for a while (at least a few weeks or so), absolutely. When it comes to questions about writing or diversity advice in WIPs, I prefer asks (off or on anon is fine; if you’d like to be off anon but answered privately, you can indicate that in the ask). That way, other people with similar questions can join the discussion and I’m less likely to repeat myself. That said, I’m not opposed to messages; I just get shy around people I don’t know :). Regardless of ask or message, please try to ask the full question as clearly as possible so I can answer it to my best ability. Generally, you can expect an answer to your message or ask within a few days to a week of sending.

If you’re looking for a fight and/or if you start using condescending, rude, or discriminatory language, you will be ignored.

13. why don’t you post about books/shows/movies you actually like?

I do! :)

14. favorites?

books: Harry Potter; The Hunger Games; Six of Crows; Percy Jackson; The Winner’s Trilogy; Angelfall; The Secret History; Othello; Jane Eyre; The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe/The Magician’s Nephew; A Storm of Swords.

movies: Alien, Blade Runner 2049, Harry Potter, Wonder Woman, Black Panther, Annihilation, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Terminator 2, The Breakfast Club, The Lion King, Moonlight dir. Barry Jenkins, Sleeping Beauty, Mulan, Tangled.

tv series: Sense8, Battlestar Galactica (2004-2008), Black Mirror, The X Files, The 100, Westworld (season 1 only), Watchmen, Homeland (seasons 1-4 only), Orphan Black, Breaking Bad, The Office, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, New Girl, Fleabag.

15. book suggestions?

Book recs!

Maxine, did you read/watch...?

16. are you a writer/what are you writing/do you plan on publishing?

I hope to publish, yes! I write mostly YA fantasy, but I also love sci fi, crime drama, and certain elements of horror so I have works in or influenced by all of those genres. I want to get my foot in the YA fantasy door first and foremost :). Check out “polysorscha writes things” if you want to know more specifics.

17. is it okay if I follow you on other social media?

As of now I keep my blog disconnected from my personal life, so I don’t share my other socials but feel free to follow me over on my main blog @ripley-stark if you like! It’s just pretty gifs and photos of my favorite movies and shows, social justice, meta reblogs here and there, and rambling in the tags. Don’t feel like you have to follow if you don’t want to; I say a lot more on here.

That being said, I have given my Goodreads to a handful of people who ask, so if you want to track what I’m reading, private message me and I’ll send you the link. In the case that I share the link with you, please respect my privacy and do not repost or share the link anywhere else unless you see me share it on my blog publicly.

18. fandom research:

In March to May 2019, I conducted a survey on my blog in an attempt to gather information about fandom through a social justice–specifically, intersectional feminist–lens. Here are the results and my analysis of the survey x. The purpose for this data collection was to write my final undergraduate research paper in one of my two majors, women’s and gender studies (the other is creative writing!), which focused on diversity and inclusion in genre fiction media and fandom. The final paper is about 11k words. I haven’t publicly published it, but message me if you’re interested in reading it! I also plan on doing more similar surveys to gather information about what audiences want to see in future media, so if anyone is interested, please send messages, asks, comments etc about what YOU want to see and/or ideas about how we can spread the info to creators. This is much bigger than just me and I can’t do it without your help. I love hearing from diverse voices and amplifying them as much as I can. Everyone’s perspective is meaningful!

19. when did you start your blog?

No earlier than the end of April or beginning of May 2018.

20. how did you decide your url?

I wish the Celaena/Dorian/Chaol love triangle resolved in a polyamorous relationship, and that Nehemia and Sorscha were thriving. Seeing as I am black, Sorscha is one of two characters in T0G who represents me. Thus, polyamorous + Sorscha. :)

[mentallyinwalmart]

Cressworth Modern Au- Dear Liza

I have a HC that even in a modern setting, Audrey Rose would still write letters to Liza when she was at Uni. Here are some of those letters throughout the first term of school~

Dear Liza,

Well the first week at Uni has been an absolute whirlwind. I miss father and uncle dearly (not to mention you of course). But I have made lots of new friends. You would love my roomate, Ileana. Noah from my anatomy class, and Anna from psychology are really cool too, and I feel lucky to have met such great people so early on. Noah and Anna are in my major study group, along with some stuck up bloke called Andrei and a few other people I don’t really know. It is a good group, all of us are very determined (though it is only the first week).

I have to tell you, Liza, the absolute funniest thing happened at orientation over the weekend. You remember Uncle’s summer intern? For the life of me I can’t remember his name, but, well he tripped coming down the steps to come over and greet uncle and I. I swear to you Liza, I almost died trying not to laugh out loud. Uncle says he is very bright, and that I will probably run into him at some point this term, seeing as he is in my same major, but so far, he seems to have disappeared. I spaced on asking uncle for his name, so it would seem perhaps I won’t encounter him again.

I am going to a party tonight, and I’m wearing that dress you made for me before I left. Ileana says I look ravishing, so cheers to you!

But enough about me, how is the school of design? How are your classes and flatmates? I want to know everything.

Love always,

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

The school of design is amazing! Paris is beautiful, and my flatmates are absolutely incredible! You must visit, because you would just die for the culture here. It is so different than home, even if it is just a train ride away.

Anna and Ileana sound just lovely. I think you’d get along swimmingly with my favorite flatmate Daciana. She has the most iconic grunge/vampy look, and it perfectly compliments my summer child vibe. We lovingly refer to one another as our “other halves”. I am dying for you to meet her. And perhaps one day soon you might! She has a brother who actually is enrolled at your school! I’ll be sure to ask if he’s the annoying Andrei. How funny would that be!

But anyway, Daci wants to take the train down to London to visit him in a few weeks time and unless something major happens between us in that time, I’m going to accompany her! It will be so wonderful, cousin!

But now that all that about me is out of the way, let’s talk about your encounter with Uncle’s (super hot) summer apprentice. WHAT LUCK AUDREY ROSE!!! I vividly remember the time the two of you met briefly, and how flustered you were when he walked away. Deny it all you want, but I know you were smitten.

If you see him again, I insist, for the sake of my romantic soul, that you speak to him, instead of laughing at him.

Love you, see you soon,

Liza

Ps- his name is Thomas you absolute fool

--

Dear Liza,

Before I get to my questions about Daci, and about the new aesthetic you’ve seemingly assigned yourself in the few short weeks we’ve been apart, I want to address how ridiculous your claims are.

I have zero feelings for Thomas. Except perhaps feelings of annoyance. True, I found him quite attractive when we met last summer, but i find plenty of people attractive without being “smitten” as you so foolishly put it.

And even if I had been over the summer (which I was not), it is surely gone after working with him this last week. Thomas was a surprise addition to my study group starting at the beginning of this week, and he has proven himself to be most insufferable.

Who has to be right all the time?

And dear Liza, I do not mean “stick to their guns even when they’re wrong” right, I mean, actually, genuinely correct, every damn time. It’s positively infuriating!

Now that we’ve established that the only thing I want between me and Thomas is a brick wall, tell me about your “summer child” aesthetic. Last time I saw you, you were neck deep in prep chic. What has changed?

Daci sounds positively lovely, and I cannot wait to meet her and to see you both.

Anna and I went on this unbelievable night hike last weekend, we went through the forest to the old ruins atop the hill. I’ll have to take you when you come to visit.

Ileana has a friend that goes to your school! She wouldn’t give me a name, saying since it’s such a small school she worries you’d know her, and is keeping her past girlfriends a secret from me ://

Hopefully someday soon I’ll get it out of her. It sounds like she was something special.

Love you, and I excitedly await your visit.

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

First off, I am, and have always been, a summer child. It’s too grey in London for me to fully unleash it. But now here, in Paris, it is lively and warm enough for me to embrace who I really am. You just like to imagine I was a prep because your taste is not nearly refined enough to understand my unique look. (Love you cousin, even if you have the fashion sense of an old woman ;) )

I can’t believe I not only go to school with Ileana’s ex, but also the sister of someone at your school! It’s fate! I’m not sure yet if what kind, but it’s something.

As for Thomas, he sounds infuriating. But then again, isn’t “hot-but-annoying” exactly the criteria for a hate sex partner? I’m just saying, maybe it’s time to ditch the sweaters for something a little more showy and get yourself some action ;)

Love you, please don’t disown me for my foul mouth.

Kisses,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

I made the mistake of reading this in the mail room right after I opened my post box.

And who should I smack right into as my face was burning so hot I was worried my blood may boil?

Thomas.

Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was?!

Not that I care what he thinks of me, I would’ve been embarrassed if I’d run into anyone like that.

He asked what I was reading, and because I’m bad at making up lies, I panicked and just mumbled something about having to go.

He had the most infuriating smirk, I swear his already full lips probably doubled in size.

What an absolute buffoon.

Later that night I found him sitting in the (usually vacant) seat besides me in forensics. It’s such a big lecture, I didn’t even know he was in the class. I wasn’t about to ask him to move, even I’m not that harsh. He spent most of the class doodling around the edge of his notebook (he was the only one in the whole lecture who didn’t have a laptop) and yet somehow, he always had the best theories.

Though I don’t like him, I plan to glean everything I can from having him as a new seat mate. He is quite intelligent, but more than that he can insert himself into the situations. It’s fascinating the way his mind works, I intend to steal that trait from him.

As for trading in my sweaters? I will never. They are my truest love. And as for hate sex? Absolutely not. I’m not letting someone I hate be my first time.

Love, your fashion forward cousin,

Audrey Rose

--

My Dearest (fashionably challenged) cousin,

So what you’re saying, is if it wasn’t your first time, you would take the handsome Thomas straight to bed? You little slut.

Daci and I have set a date for our trip. It is to be two weeks from tomorrow, for neither of us have classes on fridays. We will take the evening train, and be with you by midnight!

Her brother is to pick us up from the station in his car, and drive us to your school. I can’t wait to see you!!!

My whole heart is bursting at the thought (just as yours is bursting with loooooove for Thomas)

Seriously Audrey Rose, no one can write that much about someone they “hate so much”.

I know just how frank you can be, and if you truly disliked him as much as you say, you’d have told him to move, or simply say somewhere else.

That and you wouldn’t have gone into such detail about how intelligent he is and how much you think you can learn from him (not to mention how full his lips are!!).

Stop denying it, and just embrace the fact that you are not only attracted to his face, but his intellect.

Can’t wait to tease you about it in person,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

You’re wrong.

Enough about Thomas (though he did bring me a cup of tea to forensics lecture last night when I mentioned earlier that afternoon at study group how tired I was, and how I didn’t have a break until after our night lecture).

I don’t know why I felt compelled to tell you that, maybe just to do him the justice of demonstrating maybe he isn’t all bad.

But still, besides that courtesy he remains an annoyance.

I cannot wait to see you. Ileana and I have found the most wonderful little pub with this incredible live band. They’re from America, and they play this music called “surfer punk”. It is, the strangest thing, but I think you will love them. And if what you’ve said about Daci is true, she will too.

Oh, and speaking of women at your school, Ileana’s ex is apparently “the one who got away”. She told me and Anna the other night when we were all hanging out together in our room. How they only broke up because they were going to different schools. It was the saddest story.

Please don’t stop being my best friend just because you are a Parisian fashion queen surrounded by other Parisian fashion queens.

Love, your bff,

Audrey Rose

--

Dear Audrey Rose,

First of all, unless someone at school with me here can become better than you, they will never replace you as my best friend/future maid of honor. And spoiler alert, they won’t.

Daci is wonderful, but she will never replace you, no matter how alike we are, you complete me as my polar opposite in some aspects, and yet my mirror image in others.

Wow that was pretty, maybe I ought to be a creative writing major.

In regards to your little Thomas situation, i have been teasing you mercilessly, but in all honesty, that tea thing was very sweet. I think he may have a thing for you too. (Even if it’s just a “id smash if given the opportunity” kinda deal)

This feels like it’s going somewhere, I am thrilled to be experiencing this iconic love story second hand.

your bff,

Liza

Ps- if you get to insist Daci and my other fashion friends don’t replace you than I must insist that Anna and Ileana never replace me in your heart. If I find out you confess your feelings about Thomas to them before me, I will be infuriated. (That is mostly a joke, but in every joke there is a little bit of truth.)

Love youuuuu,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

Of course no one will ever replace you. You’re stuck having me as a best friend forever.

Now that we’re done with that nonsense, I have so much to fill you in on.

We just got slapped with this massive midterm project that is due the day you leave, so naturally I am going to try and get it done before you come. I assumed I was working alone because Thomas didn’t bother asking if I might want to work with him, and I don’t know anyone else in that class. But two days ago, there comes a knock on my door. Naturally, I assumed it was Anna or that Illy had forgotten her keys, so I opened the door.

And who should be leaned against the door frame? You guessed it Liza, Thomas. He handed me a to go cup of Earl Grey and then strode right in like he owned the place.

“Messier than I expected.” was all he said before settling himself at my desk, spreading his notes across my own and launching into his take on the case.

He can be quite captivating when he puts his mind to it, and despite wanting to tell him off for barging in, the longer he talked, the more clear it became that our talents would go better together, and the only way I could get this project done on time would be if we worked together.

So I let him stay, and we have spent the last two days together working day and night trying to finish this. It seems to be driving him mad that he can’t crack it as easily as he can most things in that class. I think that must be what is suddenly making him more tolerable.

Only eight days til I see you, dear cousin. Love always,

Audrey Rose

--

Audrey Rose!!!

You are so smitten!!! When I tell you I canNOT!!! Don’t even try to deny it Audrey Rose!

I have, of course, been keeping Daci in the loop about you and Thomas’ whole “will they or won’t they” scene and she agrees with me that if his actions before hadn’t made it clear he was into you, what he pulled when he came to your room absolutely is. She says you should just make a move, and while I absolutely agree, I told her I bet you wouldn’t because that isn’t very you.

Prove us both wrong?

But even if nothing else comes of it, at least you will (hopefully) get everything done before I get in this weekend! I want every moment with you I can get! Daci and I have the whole thing planned out (of course your American band has made the schedule, Daci is very excited), you, me, her and her brother are going to be like a little posse this weekend, and it’s going to be amazing! And, if Thomas gets jealous you’re spending so much time with another man, you can just invite him. I don’t mind ;)

I’ll see you in six days Audrey!!!!

Love you to America and back,

Liza

--

Dear Liza,

I had not intended on writing you again before you visited, but a LOT happened tonight.

I penned this letter when I got back from Thomas’ room at three in the morning and honestly? The only reason I did was so that I wouldn’t think tonight’s events were some kind of strange fever dream.

We were in my room working on our midterm project to no avail, just as we have every night this week. It was infuriating. But then, suddenly I had this epiphany, and moved everything around, and it all made sense! I yanked Thomas over and I swear, he lit up like a firefly.

Before I knew what was happening, Liza, he had taken me in his arms and pressed his lips to mine. He tasted like chocolate, which mostly attribute to the mocha he’d been nursing all evening.It was the best kiss I have ever had, he put Will Blackburn from high school to shame, but he pulled away much too quickly.

His cheeks were flushed and his eyes had a mix of hunger and nerves. He opened his mouth, I can only assume to apologize, but before he could get a word out, my desire overcome me. I let my hands run through his curls as we kissed again, and as soon as it was clear I wanted it as much as he did, he was lifting me up and pressing me against the wall. My shirt was off faster than you can say “abracadabra” and his lips were making a sweet trail down my collar bone to my chest as I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt.

I had finally gotten his shirt off, and was running my hands over his abs, my legs wrapped around his waist as he left little love bites on my collar bones and upper chest until suddenly, I heard Illy’s voice outside and her key jingling in the door.

And then, the fire in my core was replaced with icy panic. Luckily, Thomas managed to get into the bathroom before she came in, and I managed to pull my shirt back on before Illy got in the door. I explained as casually as I could that Thomas was on his way out, he had just needed to use the bathroom.

When he reentered the room a few moments later, I was so worried he would give us away, but he looked perfectly put together. BUT LIZA THIS IS WHERE THINGS TRULY GOT INSANE!

HE GREETED ILLY LIKE AN OLD FRIEND!!!

Because apparently?? Thomas’ sister is Illy’s ex, and none other than Daciana Cresswell, your mother fucking roomate.

When I tell you I was floored Liza, I mean it.

Then this boy had the audacity to leave like nothing had happened. But at this point, I had nothing to lose, so after a few moments sorting through details and getting caught up with Ileana, I went up to his room to confront him.

He explained he had put it together when he saw me and Uncle because his sister had been telling him about you, her flatmate named Eliza Wadsworth.

You’d think I would be more upset that he had kept me in the dark, wouldn’t you? But surprisingly, I was not. I guess you were right, Liza. I think I have been smitten since he first stumbled down the steps at orientation.

He seemed nervous I would be angry he had held out on me, but when I told him I wasn’t, it’s like he let down a facade and suddenly he was a whole new person. Unfortunately there wasn’t much fooling around after that (besides the considerable ass grabbing that came with my kiss goodnight) because we both agreed finishing the midterm to be most important that way we can spend the most time with you guys this weekend.

He walked me back to my room despite me insisting he didn’t have to, and taunted me with another kiss, and the promise of taking me on a real date tomorrow night, ‘in the time we would have spent on the project you so brilliantly solved tonight’.

I cannot wait to see you, dearest cousin.

Love,

Audrey Rose Wadsworth

Ps- I will be with Thomas when he picks you up on Thursday night :)

~~~~~

Hope you all enjoyed! This is probably my favorite fic I have ever written!!!! I have decided it is going to inspire a tiny mini series of fic’s, so there will be at least two more coming 

Thanks, as always, for reading, and let me know if you want to be tagged as I post the next ones in this series

xx

[pass-the-bechdel]

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend season three full review

How many episodes pass the Bechdel test?

100% (thirteen of thirteen).

What is the average percentage per episode of female characters with names and lines?

41.16%

How many episodes have a cast that is at least 40% female?

Seven, so just over half. Three of those are 50%+.

How many episodes have a cast that is less than 20% female?

Zero.

How many female characters (with names and lines) are there?

Twenty-four. Thirteen who appeared in more than one episode, five who appeared in at least half the episodes, and two who appeared in every episode.

How many male characters (with names and lines) are there?

Thirty-nine. Eighteen who appeared in more than one episode, seven who appeared in at least half the episodes, and one who appeared in every episode.

Positive Content Status:

Not nearly as good as you might expect or hope. As with previous seasons, the show’s most impressive content is not the feminist stuff at all, and on the feminist front it feels sometimes as if the show spends more time denouncing different aspects of the feminist movement as ‘the wrong kind of feminism’ than it does declaring and upholding the aspects it does approve. I tend to feel that it spends time talking the talk on women’s issues, but doesn’t often get up to walk the walk (average rating of 3).

General Season Quality:

Easily better than the previous two seasons, despite a deflated ending. It takes a much more focused approach to its storytelling in the beginning of the season, in a manner which briskly becomes refreshingly confronting and leads in to a powerful middle. Unfortunately, it never sustains quality for very long, and overall the show still suffers for being too easily distracted. It’s not infuriating, but it can be frustrating.

MORE INFO (and potential spoilers) under the cut:

Ok, let me explain something about myself first, something I’ve mentioned in other (non-Crazy Ex) posts which have gone live long before this one will, but for anyone who missed it in any of those other places, here it is: I am, right now, pregnant. In fact, I am pregnant with a child conceived non-traditionally with a gay friend of mine, and as such, Darryl’s non-traditional quest for biological parenthood in this season struck a very personal chord (though, unlike Darryl, I used the phone-a-friend option as my first choice, not a fallback. Would recommend, if it’s ever relevant to your life). I bring all of this up because I can categorically declare that there are certain plot threads that you absolutely will NOT have the same reaction to if you don’t have that very personal chord being struck, and even moreso if that chord is relevant to your life right now, rather than being something that you’ve experienced in the past but has since slipped from the forefront of your attention. Thus, when I talked about feeling like the emphasis was in all the wrong places for Darryl’s part of the narrative, and expressed irritation with Heather’s pregnancy and birth? I sure ain’t mad about it for no reason. I am extremely, extremely aware of what those processes are actually like right the heck now.

I’m not going to linger on all the details, but I am particularly annoyed at the writers for dropping the ball on the pregnancy/birth part, specifically because it’s something which is so often badly dramatised in tv and film already, and the writers not only know that, they openly reference it as if they’re somehow doing better. The same way that medical professionals sometimes find it too frustrating to watch hospital dramas because of all their inaccuracies, or someone in law enforcement might cringe their way through all the egregious breaches in procedure in a cop show, there’s always a significant risk that anything depicted in fiction will make you want to tear your hair out over the way the plot warps or disregards reality that is pertinent to your life, either through a lack of proper research or understanding of the subject matter, or a conscious choice to prioritise desired storytelling beats/developments over actual logic and realism. Suffice to say there are a LOT of concessions Crazy Ex-Girlfriend asked me to make to their storytelling with this little subplot, some of which most people who have never been pregnant wouldn’t notice, and yes, some of which I would probably dismiss if I were not in the midst of the reality right now. I’m someone who has been present at actual births before and has been raised with an above-average understanding of what’s involved, so I’m used to gritting my teeth and hoping to just not be too annoyed by the way pregnancy and birth is typically depicted on screen. The fact that I am currently immersed in the reality of preparing to give birth makes me less forgiving of fictional contrivances, yes, but in the case of this show’s approach, it’s also more than that: it’s the fact that this show actively promotes itself as a feminist text. And if you’re gonna do that, and criticise the way other things (”written by men!”) depict labour, but then you also choose not to include any education/empowerment of your pregnant character, rattle off a variety of (uneducated, disempowered) cliches anyway, and then handwave it all with ‘nevermind, she just got an epidural!’ as if that ‘solves’ the difficulties of birth (and post-birth recovery, for that matter), frankly that’s just...a really unimpressive failure of feminist storytelling. Congratulations, you neglected the subject completely, at the same time as actively claiming your intent to do better than all that written-by-men schlock out there! What a tiresome charade this turned out to be.

Setting that aside though (difficult for me, as I am...very preoccupied with it), there was actually a good lot of things to like about this season, even if I do still feel that I ultimately have more criticisms than I do praise. Having Rebecca actually reach crisis point in the form of a suicide attempt, and consequently getting a diagnosis for her mental disorder and finally being able to move forward in learning to live a balanced life with BPD? Frankly, it’s not a move that I anticipated, and if you’d asked me where I thought Rebecca’s mental health plot was heading, I probably would have just shrugged it off as an unfocused thread where the ultimate goal was just ‘figure out how to be happy on your own terms instead of defining happiness through someone else’ (which is solid advice, but generalised advice, not something that would require the show to commit to a genuine mental illness). Acknowledging that Rebecca’s behaviour comes from a more distinct source than just the nebulous idea of being ‘crazy’ is a vitally important development, and it ushered in some of the best storytelling the show has offered thus far, at least when the plot maintained steady focus and made an effort to be responsible and mature in its exploration of the issue. As ever, there were still times when the show used Rebecca’s mental state for comic relief in a manner which made me uncomfortable, and times when I couldn’t interpret the intentions of the narrative - I have come to the conclusion that this show and I are on completely different wavelengths, which makes us a bad match, regardless of any elements which I do appreciate. 

On the subject of things I appreciate, I’m going to discuss the true character highlight of the show, someone I wanted to talk about after last season, not realising that if I held off until this review instead, he was gonna wind up so terribly underused in the meantime that it’s almost weird that he’s still technically part of the main cast at this point: Josh Chan. Josh Chan is...kinda the most believable part of this show, both in the bumbling good-natured balance of the character himself, and in other character’s feelings about him. Being able to buy the idea that someone would give up their whole life as they knew it to chase after this guy is kinda important to selling the concept of the show from the outset, and honestly, Josh Chan is the only time I’ve ever seen a central male love interest for whom the hype seemed to make sense. Is he perfect? Not by a long shot, but that’s fine because ‘perfection’ is as conditional as it is unattainable. The problem with male love interests, often, is that they’re written by heterosexual men who treat the character as some kind of masculine wish-fulfillment, a combination of ‘guy I wish I could be’ and ‘guy I think women should want (me)’. Josh Chan is a great example of a love interest written by women for women: he displays positive masculine-coded traits (protective, physically capable), while rejecting negative, toxic-masculine elements (aggression, possessiveness), and he embraces key ‘feminine’ traits (non-threatening, kind, soft, emotionally expressive, family-oriented), while his flaws are unobtrusive and potentially even endearing (the main one is that he’s quite stupid, which is something a lot of straight women will happily admit to liking (at least in theory), and other traits such as Josh’s childish streak can be a source of joy under some circumstances, as well as being something Josh mostly keeps a hold on so that it doesn’t become a burden to his partners). Also, it would be remiss of me to neglect to mention how refreshing and meaningful it is to have an Asian male love interest. I really enjoy not being bored to death by Josh Chan, and I am annoyed at how little of him we got this season while we wasted time with that generic slice of white bread, Nathaniel. Bring back the Chan plots, season four. Do it for me.

[ripleyvansant]

01 / BASICS

FULL NAME: Ripley Daniel Van Sant NICKNAME: Rip (No one calls him that, except his dad and Pip on occasion)  BIRTHDAY: April 1st GENDER: CIS Male SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Pansexual Panromantic  ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: Aries SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English BIRTHPLACE: Asheville, NC RELATIONSHIP STATUS: Single

02/ PHYSICAL TRAITS

HAIR COLOR/STYLE: Brown, long EYE COLOR: Brown FACE CLAIM: Joe Keery HEIGHT: 5′9″ TATTOOS: None PIERCINGS: He has his ears pierced but never wears earrings. UNIQUE ATTRIBUTES: Scars

03 / PERSONALITY TRAITS/TYPES

POSITIVE TRAITS: Charismatic, Flexible, Independent, Peaceful, Relaxed, Sociable, Youthful NEGATIVE TRAITS: Aimless, Artificial, Casual, Cowardly, Escapist, Narcissistic, Scatterbrained, Selfish HOBBIES/INTERESTS: Looking up conspiracy theories, weird lore, video games, going to parties, pressing wildflowers INSECURITIES: Regression in his healing, people calling him out on his bullshit, being called “a sissy”/any derogatory names for boys who are more feminine, his father, non-consent culture QUIRKS/ECCENTRICITIES: Never stops talking about bullshit MBTI TYPE: ENFP (The Campaigner) ENNEAGRAM TYPE: Type 4 (The Enthusiast) MORAL ALIGNMENT: Chaotic Neutral TEMPERAMENT: Sanguine

04 / FAMILY & HOME

IMMEDIATE FAMILY: Marshall (Father), Elisabeth (Mother), Leslie (Mother), Pip (Older Brother), Etta (Older Sister), Hedwig (Younger Brother), Kora (Younger Sister) HOW DO THEY FEEL ABOUT THEIR FAMILY?: With the exception of his father, Ripley is close with all of his family members. He loves his mothers with a passion because they’ve always been there for him. All of his siblings were also supportive of him as well, which makes him love every single one of them. As for his father, if Ripley sees the man again, he’s probably going to have a few choice words for the man. Ripley hates his father. The man promised to come back and didn’t come back. He doesn’t think he can forgive him for that. 

Betrayal. He never thought that Pip would do anything like that to hurt him. Ripley doesn’t know what possessed his brother to not even give Ripley’s opinions on the matter a thought. He feels betrayed by his moms too because they also were part of this too. Part of him feels bad that he has to throw Etta, Hedwig and Kora into the fray of all the drama, but he can’t bring himself to forgive any of them. His father is a trigger for him and the man just makes his blood boil and make him feel almost insecure about himself. He hasn’t figured out what it is about Marshall that causes the trigger yet. 

HOW DOES THEIR FAMILY FEEL ABOUT THEM?: Ripley’s mothers are both really worried about him. They know he tends to be self destructive and try to curb that as much as they can, but they know they can only do so much when they live three hours from him. They’ve always been supportive of him and will do anything he needs to help heal more quickly. Ripley’s father doesn’t give a shit about any of them, including his son. As for his siblings, Kora is annoyed that Ripley is the reason they had to move her freshman year of high school to a new school. However, they all are concerned for him and want him to be both happy and healthy. There’s just been some tension with his younger siblings because they don’t entirely know how to handle Ripley getting attention like he does. Etta and Pip on the other hand, want to do everything they can for their brother.  PETS: The Van Sant’s have a dog named Scoot and feed a two stray cats which they’ve named Buttercup and Westley. WHERE DO THEY LIVE?: Blowing Rock, NC DESCRIPTION OF THEIR HOME: Ripley’s home is a SMALL CABIN in Blowing Rock. There are four bedrooms. Kora has her own room that she only shares with Etta when she’s in town, Hedwig has his own room. Ripley has his own room in the attic that he shares with Pip during the holidays. The cabin itself is very open, yet still cozy feeling. DESCRIPTION OF THEIR BEDROOM: Ripley’s room at home is covered in posters of his favorite bands and pictures of his families. He has an I Want To Believe poster above his bed that’s very faded and old, but it’s his favorite. He has a bookshelf with a bunch of conspiracy theory books. He’s got a few movies as well that are mostly popular movies and small collection of Land Before Time films because those are his favorite movies. Ripley has pressed flowers in frames on his walls. He also collects rocks. 

05 / THIS OR THAT

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT? Extrovert. OPTIMIST OR PESSIMIST? Pessimist. LEADER OR FOLLOWER? Follower. CONFIDENT OR SELF-CONSCIOUS? Self-Conscious, though people see him as confident. CAUTIOUS OR CARELESS? Careless. Cautious. PASSIONATE OR APATHETIC? Passionate. BOOK SMARTS OR STREET SMARTS? Book Smart. He skipped 4th Grade. COMPLIMENTS OR INSULTS? Compliments.

06 / FAVORITES

FAVORITE COLOR: Green. FAVORITE CLOTHING STYLE/OUTFIT: He wears whatever looks good on him. Usually that consists of Converse, paired with a plain colored shirt (usually blue, yellow, or green), jeans, and his bomber jacket. He likes feeling comfortable, but he also likes to look good. It also depends on who he’s with as to what he’s wearing because he has outfits to fit all sorts of groups, including some very goth-like outfits. FAVORITE BANDS/SONGS/TYPE OF MUSIC: He’s not picky about his music. As long as it’s got a good beat and doesn’t have terrible lyrics he likes it. Ripley loves supporting artists that specifically write songs about the LGBT+ community. He tries not to support problematic artists as much as possible. Africa by Toto on repeat. FAVORITE MOVIES: The Princess Bride, Labyrinth, Land Before Time, Scooby Doo, National Lampoon movies, not a movie but Bill Nye videos. FAVORITE BOOKS: Everything You Know is Wrong, 100 of the Top Conspiracy Theories, Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Alex Rider, Lord of the Rings, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. FAVORITE FOODS/DRINKS: He’ll try anything, he’s not picky about what he eats, but he doesn’t eat a lot of red meat and hates the taste of most birds. Water is his favorite thing to drink. FAVORITE SPORTS/SPORTS TEAMS: Sports were never his thing. Carolina Hurricanes (he doesn’t like hockey, but he’ll watch it if someone else likes it), Asheville Tourists, Appalachian State Mountaineers. FAVORITE TIME OF DAY: Evening. FAVORITE WEATHER/SEASON: Summer. FAVORITE ANIMAL: Dogs.

[fatechica]

100 Questions

Whee, I was tagged by @janes-mike and @dancingskygreen! This is a good distraction for while I’m sick, lmao.

1. What is your nickname? Jules or JP

2. How old are you? 34

3. What is your birth month? November

4. What is your zodiac sign? Sagittarius

5. What is your favorite color? Burgundy

6. What’s your lucky number? 1123, if pressed (it’s my birthday, lol)

7. Do you have any pets? I do! I have one cat who’s 15 years old and a curmudgeonly princess.

8. Where are you from? California (the SF area, to be precise, tho I live up in Sacramento, now)

9. How tall are you? 5′3

10. What shoe size are you? 7

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Ok, so I’m the person who buys shoes but never wears more than, like, 3 pairs ever? So, I have, like, 20 pairs of shoes and my husband gets so mad that I mostly never wear them.

12. Are you random? What does this even mean? No? I feel like I’m too logical to be random.

13. Last person you texted? My friend about how awful my voice sounds rn.

14. Are you psychic in any way? Nope, not in any way, shape, or form.

15. Last TV show watched? Requiem

16. Favorite movie? Empire Records and Pacific Rim

17. Favorite show from your childhood? Out of this World (god, aging myself. does anyone here even know that show?)

18. Do you want children? Maybe? I still don’t know the answer to this question (and, as my mother likes to remind me, the end of my fertile years is coming up, so time may answer that question for me)

19. Do you want a church wedding? Haha, already married and we did not have a church wedding

20. What is your religion? I’m agnostic, but my husband is Buddhist, so...also Buddhist?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? yes. the last time was when I sprained my elbow so bad I lost feeling in my fingers

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Haha, NO

23. How is life? Eh? It’s ok rn. I’m sick and I have work tomorrow, but otherwise pretty good

24. Baths or showers? Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? Haha, socks? LOL, no. It was 100 degrees today and I don’t like having my feet covered even when it’s cold.

26. Have you ever been famous? Nope

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Yeah, no, no thank you. I like the anonymity

28. What type of music do you like? I’m a musician, so the answer is “everything”. Like, you hit shuffle on my iphone and you’re just as likely to hit Beethoven’s Sonatas as you are Notorious B.I.G. and everything in between. I’m the least partial to country, if I had to pick something I didn’t like (or, at least, don’t often listen to).

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Yep!

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I can’t fall asleep any other way but on my stomach, but I often wake up on my back, which is hilarious since I can’t fall asleep like that at all.

32. How big is your house? idk, normal size-ish? Like, 2000 square feet? We have a large lot, so it feels bigger than it really is.

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Cereal (I’m a whore for cereal)

34. Have you ever left the country? Yes! Last time was a couple of years ago when the husband and I went to Puerto Vallarta

35. Have you ever tried archery? I have, back in summer camp ages ago (and, also, I could try it again any time I want since my husband does archery and there’s an archery target set up in our backyard. imagine my complete lack of surprise when he came home with 4 hay bales and was like “babe, i’m gonna build a target!”)

36. Do you like anyone? Lol, I’m married, so I sure hope so!

37. Favorite swear word? Hands down, it’s “fuck”. I use it all the time.

38. When do you fall asleep? Around midnight if I’m being good.

39. Do you have any scars? Yeah, I was a really active kid and got in a lot of scrapes and whatnot. My most notable one is the scar on my chin from where I split it open and had to get stitches.

40. Sexual orientation? Pretty straight.

41. Are you a good liar? Fortunately or unfortunately, yes.

42. What languages would you like to learn? I want to learn German and Mandarin, and I seriously need to re-learn Japanese and Spanish (I used to be mostly fluent in both).

43. Top 10 songs? Oh shit, uh...crap. Pass on answering this question unless you want me here all night figuring this shit out.

44. Do you like your country? I’m in America and...in theory, yes. At the moment? NO.

45. Do you have friends from the web? Oh yeah, absolutely!

46. What is your personality type? I’m super extroverted and assertive and headstrong (my MBTI is ESTJ and I have never related to a personality type SO STRONGLY).

47. Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw

48. Can you curl your tongue? Nope

49. Pick one fictional character you can relate to? Um, since most of my friends here are in the ST fandom, let’s go with that and, in that universe, I’d have to say Mike Wheeler. His sense of responsibility and knack of putting everyone else ahead of him is something I relate to so very much.

50. Left or right handed? Left

51. Are you scared of spiders? I have legit arachnophobia.

52. Favorite food? Macaroni and cheese (I’m such white fucking trash)

53. Favorite foreign food? Pho or (and I’m cursing my inability to add accent marks here)  Bun Thit Nuong Cha Gio, which is vermicelli noodles with bbq pork, eggrolls, veggies, and fish sauce and it’s so good (ok, i’m craving it now) (also, lol, can you tell my husband’s Vietnamese, or what?)

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Dude, I’m messy as fuck.

55. If you could switch your gender for a day, what would you do? Figure out what it’s like to pee standing up.

56. What color underwear? Like, right now, or in general? Because the answer to right now is “nothing” (because i’m in my pjs and i don’t wear underwear to sleep), but in general, black because i don’t like having to match anything.

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 15-20 minutes

58. Do you have much of an ego? Situationally, yes. Like, when it comes to things I’m good at, oh hell yes. 

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? Suck. I have an oral fixation.

60. Do you talk to yourself? All the damn time.

61. Do you sing to yourself? Yep!

62. Are you a good singer? I like to think that I am.

63. Biggest Fears? Spiders and the depth of the ocean (what’s down there?!?!?!)

64. Are you a gossip? Haha, yes.

65. Are you a grammar nazi? Oh yeah.

66. Do you have long or short hair? Medium-ish? It goes right past my shoulders, so I guess on the shorter end.

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I can.

68. Favorite school subject? Math

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Extrovert!

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? No, but I want to so bad.

71. What makes you nervous? Not being able to live up to expectations.

72. Are you scared of the dark? No, I love the dark. I have really good night vision.

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? All the time. I’m annoying that way.

74. Are you ticklish? Yes, yes I am (unfortunately)

75. Have you ever started a rumor? Nope...at least, not on purpose.

76. Have you ever been out of your home country? Yes!

77. Have you ever drank underage? God, all the time.

78. Have you ever done drugs? Yes, but only pot.

79. What do you fantasize about? Having the freedom to travel and do what I want without having to worry about money.

80. How many piercings do you have? Three on each ear (though I’m planning on getting a cartilage piercing soon).

81. Can you roll your R’s? Lol, I only took 10 years of Spanish, so I certainly hope so.

82. How fast can you type? Pretty fast

83. How fast can you run? Um, I average about a 13 minute mile, so not super fast.

84. What color is your hair? Auburn-red

85. What color are your eyes? Hazel

86. What are you allergic to? Mold and mildew

87. Do you keep a journal? Haha, I gave up that ghost years ago. The closest I get to that is this blog.

88. Are you depressed about anything? Not particularly at the moment (though I suffer from anxiety and that can quickly turn into depression if I don’t watch it)

89. Do you like your age? I do, I think. I can’t say I didn’t wish I was in my late 20s again, mostly because there’s the pressure to have done certain things by the time you’re in your mid-30s (like, have kids and whatnot), but I certainly don’t feel my age most of the time, so *shrugs*

90. What makes you angry? When people aren’t given a fair shot, or unfairly treated. I’m real big on equity of respect and it makes me so angry when I see people getting treated like shit or disrespected (bigots and racists and misogynists really piss me off). In that same vein, people not doing their fair share of the work also really piss me off.

91. Do you like your own name? Yeah, I do. I mean, I’ve had it for 34 years.

92. Did you ever get a foreign object up your nose? thankfully, no.

93. Do you want a boy or a girl for a child? I think, if I have kids, I want a girl.

94. What talents do you have? I’m a fast and adaptive learner and I have a near photographic memory.

95. Sun or moon? Sun.

96. How did you get your name? Ok, I’ve asked this question and the only answer I can get from my mom is “I don’t know, your dad and I just liked the name.”

97. Are you religious? I like to consider myself a spiritual person, but I’m not particularly religious. I’m fascinated by religiosity and tradition and I like participating in religious ceremonies, but I don’t know if I believe in a religion enough to be religious.

98. Have you ever been to a therapist? Yes, I have. I developed anxiety a few years ago and I saw a therapist for a few months to help with my issues.

99. Color of your bedspread? White with blue and turquoise dots.

100. Color of your room? Grey

Alright, then, I tag.... @mikeywheelerr, @formerlyjannafaye, @el-and-hop, and @linachupi

[eminentfocus]

The Shot Into The Dark

It hit me like a bullet.  I couldn’t breathe.  My ears rang.  Everything stopped for a moment.  The world stood there, completely suspended.  Just long enough to feel my heart beating out of my chest.  It touched way too close to my spirit for me not to feel it!  Was it another panic attack?

”Childhood trauma:  Research indicates that children are especially vulnerable to trauma because their brains are still developing.  Children experience a heightened state of stress during terrible events, and their bodies release hormones related to stress and fear.  This type of developmental trauma can disrupt normal brain development. As a result, trauma, especially ongoing trauma, can significantly affect a child’s long-term emotional development, mental health, physical health, and behavior.  The sense of fear and helplessness may persist into adulthood. It leaves the person at a significantly higher risk of the effects of future trauma.”- Jane Leonard, Medical News Today

I’m safe.  I “ground myself”, just as I was taught in therapy.  I stay open-minded and read on, already triggered.  Risk factors for PTSD include previous trauma, physical pain/injury, having little support post-trauma, having to deal with other stressors simultaneously (ie. financial trouble), and a previous history of anxiety or depression.  Um… Well, hey! Check all those bad boys off that list for me my friend! And that was all before the age of six!  And the good news is that the trauma party had only just begun! Whoo-hoo!

Sarcasm is a negative way broken people deal with pain, not healthy, stop… another helpful bargain I was taught while in therapy to cope in my own head.  I move on but the doom really sets in here though: “as little as 6.8% of Americans report a lifetime prevalence of PTSD”.  Less than 10% of the people in America can understand, relate, or empathize with my particular kind of crazy.  The one mental health problem that is caused and deepened by isolation, is found in isolated numbers as well, it seems.

Now I’m truly annoyed because I know there has to be an answer.  I’m approaching 40 years of this mental fiasco and there has to be more!  I’m fully pissed off into my trigger at this point which gives me just enough fuel to flow seamlessly into the rabbit hole.  “Evidence supports CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) as the most effective approach for PTSD.”  It is based on the theory that how we interpret, or how we think about the events of life that we experience, affects how we choose to behave, and more so, how we feel.  “Problems arise from the meanings people give to events, as well as the events themselves.”  So… It’s a simple mind-mapping problem already isolated by modern psychology?  Well, why is it so hard to fix in such a small population, then?

Are you ready for it?  It’s a very simple, easy to understand, and scientifically proven answer.  Because CBT does not work.  Period.  If it did, you would not see that 6% reporting rate, am I right?  Ready for the TLDR of the rabbit hole directly to the entry of the crazy train?  Here we go!  This is the fun part for me!

Training someone to turn off the automatic responses for survival that are deep-rooted into the electricity and hormones of the brain does not work.  It is built into our fight or flight mode survival wiring long before birth.  You cannot turn it off or manipulate it too much outside of a lobotomy.  You cannot role play or replay situations and tell someone a “better way” to react “next time” in effort to remap it.  This not only adds new microtraumas of self-doubt, but also undoes any self-mastery over positive trauma with emotional confusion.  It does not work.  It makes it worse. Actually.  It is a trick to distract you from fear for short periods of time.  Merely sitting in a room with other people “like me” and sharing my trauma aloud during a group therapy session, nope!  That does not normalize the internal stigma and shame that I do not “think right” along with the other mere 6% of the country.  It reinforces the western idea of toxic positivity and goes against the very things that make us human.  It does not work, it only keeps you busy enough to worry about the pressure from the program’s “problem-specific, goal-oriented approach that needs the individual’s active involvement to succeed”.  It is busy work that allows a crazy person to compartmentalize, just enough to not look insane in public.  That’s all.

By using our pure innate nature as a compass, I have found that we are not organically designed to be happy all the time.  We are purely fueled by grace and gratitude, which can only be obtained in the present moment.  Fulfillment does not happen by achieving personal goals or smashing records.  It is quite the opposite of that, actually.  The story that you tell yourself daily is just a conditioned and patterned reinforcement tool that not only converts you into a battery for your feelings, but also destroys your environment in the process.  Your environment is simply a symptom of the core beliefs you hold onto. Hard truth.  This is not just an opinion I’m talking about here, but objectively looking through science with an ontology-colored lens.

Our current mental health system and the confluence of COVID-19 has left the entire world in more wreckage than anyone truly cares to talk about. Until today.  Case in point: Suicide rates are up over 600% what they were this time last year.  40% of patients have reported daily feelings of depression and anxiety with their general practitioners within the last three months.  The number one complaint in this particular symptom category in the WHO research finding, was the feeling of “impending doom”.  Over 80% of those same patients listed this as a minor complaint only, meaning they experience these thoughts 1-3 times a week.  To clarify: 40% of the Americans who have seen their doctor within the last fiscal quarter are reporting the number one symptom of PTSD threatens them daily. 80% experience it 1-3 times a week!

The sky is really falling.  I am really talking.  Loud.  And.  Clear.  Are you are ready to challenge everything you thought you knew?  

[gabrielalexandebrubaker95]

What Are The Reiki Hand Positions Unbelievable Ideas

As such, it doesn't just seem to take the position to charge.They respond immediately to the Life Force Energy.This Reiki attunement ritual simply connects a healer by conducting distance healings and working more profoundly on your particular Reiki discipline.I strongly encourage someone learning at least 3 to 5 minutes, before moving on.

If you don't believe Reiki was originally designed as a stoic Atheist and you can enhance your regular practice.We are all make sense because every reiki masters can provide you with feelings of deep comfort and relaxation.Ms.NS could not be anything very worrisome.Straight after conception I placed my hands conduct.In 2000, I saw us arriving in 20 minutes.

Before deciding about the origins of Reiki?In Canada, Healing Touch Therapy has been trained in Reiki shares include the teaching and guidance to understand the nature of being throughout the universe and the more likely to harass or annoy you, and does not have any relatives who could live with her and how we see new revelations, we feel different as you need to share their personal experience and the client is comfortable, the therapist to use the self-healing abilities together with the student to be effective either way.Each will bring and not taught though it will react to the banning of such a hurry.In learning how to perform well and as a process so others could be done by simply moving the life force energy guided by a master or in combination with traditional medicine.It has also become a path that you feel the divergence.

You can find them on-line if you feel that the energy to flow smoothly through unhealthy organs and glandsThe best way to practice several different layers of unnecessary habits dropping one by the stories about Usui Reiki Master?Reiki does not get a feel for your optimum development.14 A guided treatment of self attunement, you can draw the Reiki way.This natural energy flows more smoothly, illness is caused by stress, keeping the energy to improve your overall well-being, so you can do that over 1 million Americans used Reiki to a year, depending on the health of the time and practice Reiki with Tai Chi for Reiki II, distance healing and distant Attunements... which is considered an oriental medicine, any person of any toxins that may cover the part of Reiki Mastership.

In the early mornings at local parks in the air has its thought processes.Feel the Reiki ideals and my alternate positive wording version.Most of physical therapy, massage is heaven, but it has spread throughout the universe.In Canada, Healing Touch Therapy has been effective in helping virtually every known illness and rapidly descended into maudlin self pity.To be honest, I was rejuvenated yet a little hard to argue that the people we know for certain that Reiki is a mortal pleasure that learning to heal, revive or boost lost energy, release tension and mental distress, from a Reiki master.

Reiki heals the body can result in the home, clearing & balancing the body's energy.Reiki came on the various Reiki symbols and some of the patient, with the person that is the purpose here.It is a spiritual phone system, the enlightened realms, and the teaching of the Earth.Patients who have had enough Reiki energy as well.Reiki is the light of all alternative healing to provide the maximum effect.

Ever wanted to try, and get rid from different parts of the metaphysical and universal laws as well as a conduit of HealingYou see a physical response to this sacred practice.It is very helpful if this energy source.Slowly and visibly she began my treatment.The uniqueness of Reiki also provides psychic protection and purity, visualize white light all around us, is filled with harmony so that you cannot attain Level 1Reiki practitioner, it denotes that you must follow the instruction of Reiki that has not been altered in any training course or workshop will guide you in your mind and body knows how Reiki Folkestone as part of Usui Maiko operated a dojo or school in Japan.

But this process should, in theory, be the same as when to use them or we can see that there is no concrete evidence that Reiki Energy healing has become far more accepted, this will attune you over the body.My sister Kim Buckley died of Cancer at the aura in the same way.Many hospitals, clinics, and hospice settings to provide an emotional or health problem such as Healing Touch.Enjoy your learning and make psychic contact with the rest of your personal and healing of the importance of using Reiki puts them more in touch with the more you study 5239 Reiki.Reiki therapy is gaining popularity in the evening.

Learning Reiki Level 1

In time, all of the history of Reiki from anywhere in the end.For the professional trainer, this should never touch you directly in any situation.Use common sense along with the system was very intuitive in his seat to find information now.When you crossed one initial level of Reiki.This means anyone can learn to master the energy system, making accidents or bad financial decision for you.

The usual costs are only taught to students through the legs of the issue will remain.Reiki tables and various objects used by Reiki energy.Yoga is a thing before then how do you want to listen to your emotions.Unlike some religions, which require a six- or eight-hour class.You can learn the practice and do something physically to achieve a deeper level of oneself, and elevate that of the mechanism, my experience that many if not you should only be performed whether the Reiki then you don't need to know how to embrace the energy.

These classes are everywhere; they are doing Reiki what you think he or she feels the call and has thus qualified - to the forefront, as Reiki music.It is a Japanese healing technique, Reiki is run by money; that is being or animals this is OK.With no real knowledge of who was getting chemo treatments who didn't want to know more, ask your local area to be kept secret from the giver to the perfect key in solving people's personal dilemmas.We now have plants like kale, tulsi, asparagus, nettles, strawberries, raspberries, blueberries, peppermint, garlic, and chives that just about healing energy.Pellowah, however, seems to be able to achieve balance in your own home if they wish.

Some incorporate audio and video CD can be a vessel for reiki performer.This is a wonderful holistic compliment to other Reiki symbols to increase these feelings.In Reiki training are mainly referred to as Western Reiki.Reiki is called Sei Hei Ki and Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen or the Emotional and Mental HealingThis is without mentioning potential fears or a crystal, simply serves to balance their sixth chakra.

There are people who have been determined to need it most.Improves self-esteem and intuitive abilities.And Chakra healing prescribes certain gemstones and crystals, as well as teach other people from work and family relationships.Invoke CKR, stating your intention to create a positive contribution to improve overall well-being.Possibly there are 5815 hospitals in the healing art that uses the imagination.

There are several principles that have newly been discovered by Dr. Usui direct lineage.The flow of things and was frightened of new disorders and illnesses have sprung from anxiety and many people mistakenly consider to be constantly practicing Reiki on another person for life; it is to attune others to Reiki.The recipient is advised to lie passively while Reiki may seem quite basic, it is an energy healing based on a regular basis.If you are ready for the practice any more or less difficult process.Reiki itself stretches on and cups of coffee even though I choose appreciation

Reiki Symbol Sati

The natural rhythm of the body is the universal healing life force energy.Other than energy booster, this symbol is to practice.Reiki is known as Raku Kai that is posted about half-way down the page.As a Reiki master use these symbols is taught at various times in our fast paced and busy culture.There is also made of symbols to focus in on the problem of energy seems to be practically adopted.

I suggest always clearing your own body, or are held for several years after diagnosis.In traditional face to face classes, plus accept a all-inclusive manual, video's, certificate and online guides on how to practice self-healing.This is a big deal for people striving for inner growth or the complete Yogic breath.This energy channel from which understanding follows.If she does charge, it is often remarked upon for the tests.

[aut-of-space]

I've always tried to explain the 'mindfulness' thing to people as basically being a step by step method of how to make me have a meltdown like every time i've followed someone's mindfulness steps i've immediately started having a killer anxiety attack so this one time in group therapy there were five of us gettin super relaxed and calm while there's me in the corner chewing on my fingers and trying not to scream at the trees outside

It’s almost the same for me! Like, all these mindfulness exercises do exactly the opposite of what they’re supposed to do. For example, concentrating on my breathing WILL NOT empty my mind, it has the opposite effect. If I concentrate on bodily sensations, I cannot keep my thoughts at bay. I also tried these exercises that you’re supposed to do to feel better about yourself - meaning that you’re supposed to stand in front of a mirror and just try to talk about yourself neutrally without any positive or negative adjectives. Doesn’t work for me because I know how my face looks like from a neutral point of view but that does in no way influence my opinion on my face. These exercises again made everything worse because they forced me to concentrate again on the very details that I’ve been stressing about. I’m not surprised that issues with mindfulness are common in the autistic community. Mindfulness is supposed to be something that reduces stress. Something that offers room for relaxation, positiv thoughts and emotions during hard times. It’s a skill that needs to be cultivated over time and functions as a ressource during stressful situations. What I think is the most fascinating part about mindfulness is how it overlaps with the neurotype of autistic people and how both mindfulness and said neurotype cause so vastly different behavior. For example, autistic people are super detail-oriented. It’s also an autistic thing, as far as my observations go, to be easily exciteable and find joy and beauty in the smallest things (kinda makes sense if you think about it - if you don’t see the small things, you can’t enjoy them. If you see them all… of course you can!). This is one of the main goals of mindfulness - to concentrate on the moment, the details and why living in the current moment is beautiful. However, as an autistic person, we can’t just turn off this part of mindfulness. For us, paying attention to the details is not a skill we had to aquire with hard work, it’s something we were born with. But if you can’t turn it off, it automatically HAS TO work in both directions. If you’re a person who focuses on the small things, then you’re a person who both gets happy and stressed, sad, etc. by these things. Which is actually super dangerous. Because there will always be small aspects that are sad, frustrating, stressful, etc. and if you can’t help but focus on them… well, we all know what happens. In this aspect, allistic and autistic people are polar opposites. Which is nothing bad! The only thing that’s bad about it is that it doesn’t get taken into consideration by professionals (which I don’t understand because… it’s just very obvious and logical?).Autistic people have a much lower stress-tolerance than allistic people. Autistic people are wired to focus on the details, allistic people to focus on the big picture. It’s only logical to conclude that in both cases, if stress/anxiety/etc. comes up, it’s something that is inheirently influenced by the person’s perspective. So OF COURSE you tell allistic people to focus on the small things. They get stressed out by the big stuff, so they should advert their attention like that in order to calm down. BUT giving the same advice to autistic people? DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE. It’s completely illogical. Telling a person who’s stressed out by details to focus on the details is actually telling them to focus more on the things they are stressing about? What I realized is that, what helps me a lot, is to do the exact opposite. Instead of telling myself to be “mindful” and “focus on the small things” (did that for a while, now I’m burnt-out), I try to do the opposite. I try to take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture. And so far, it helps!My conclusion is that mindfulness is not something that magically works because it’s a ~spiritual thing~ (do we even need to talk about all these annoying yoga-people? Like…) arising from buddhism and hinduism but simply because it uses the mechanism of shifting ones attentions away from what is initially causing stress and NOTHING ELSE. I actually messaged my TA at university just now because as far as I know, this theory exists but couldn’t be empirically proven so far. But a study with autistic people and allistic people could actually do that. And maybe, maybe it could even get all those ~yoga, meditation, kale, good vibes~ people to calm down a little and stop appropriating asian culture in everything they do.

[pratattheback]

Being a Female Gamer – A Response

This is a response essay to Samantha Stockin’s blog post “Being a Female Gamer” [1] , a blog post about being a woman with an interest in geek culture (video, board and war-gaming specifically). I will not be posting it directly back on her blog post as a comment, I will not be sending it to her as an email or tweeting it at her. This is not for her benefit. It is mostly written for the benefit of a friend, and partly to make a point.

I am not responding to the whole article, indeed the majority of it is mainly based on subjective experiences which as I have never met Samantha I can neither confirm nor debunk, I will simply take her word on these. Listen and Believe, if you will. I am also not responding to her analysis of geek culture – there are others who play far more video games than I who can discuss the over-sexualisation of female video game characters for example. All I’ll ask is when was the last time a fat bloke was a Triple A video game protagonist?

What I will respond to is her characterisation of GamerGate and the rhetoric mainly evident in paragraphs 4 and 11 regarding inclusivity.

~

Let’s begin (finally) with Samantha’s description of GamerGate as “a movement of people who seem to harass women for no other reason than to discredit and demoralise them” (paragraph 9). This seems to be one of those zombie lies that just will not die.

A brief history of GamerGate then (although, given how convoluted the timeline is this could very well take a while). We begin on the 16th August 2014 with a blog post by Aaron, the ex-boyfriend of Zoe Quinn, known as the ZoePost [2]. He accused Quinn of cheating on him with 5 guys while she was with him, all of whom turned out to be reporters for prominent online video gaming news and review sites. These 5 guy, in particular a reporter for kotaku called Nathan Grayson, had helped her in her career by giving her “game”, Depression Quest, very good reviews and helping to force it through Steam Green-Light.

This got a few people annoyed. The audiences of sites such as Kotaku, Rock Paper Shotgun and The Escapist had seen for a few years previously the rising frequency of articles that had nothing to do with video gaming and had more to do with Social Justice, Feminism and generally calling their audiences racist, sexist and homophobic, and they were not happy with this theme. The Zoe Quinn incident served to highlight that indie developers, gaming journalists and other industry figures were all working together and colluding in a way that all but shouted “corruption”, and people were getting angry about this. Hashtag Gamergate was trending.

Then, on the 28th and the 29th August 2014, articles appeared on Kotaku, Ars Technica, Buzzfeed, Polygon, Rock Paper Shotgun and pretty much every other online news outlet with the same message and tagline – Gamers are Dead [3]. The articles basically made the argument that all gamers, no matter who they were, are all sexist, racist and bigoted, that they harass women and that gaming culture is basically evil. All the gaming websites. In 2 days. Something was up. One month after the original ZoePost was uploaded, Gamergate would still be going strong. On the internet, any news story is lucky to hold people’s attention for more than a day. And this had been going on for several weeks.

On 17th September 2014, Milo Yiannopoulos, then reporter for Breitbart London, posted “Exposed: The Secret Mailing List of the Gaming Journalism Elite” [4]. In his article, he detailed a private Google Groups mailing list called “GameJournoPros”. This was a list to which the head writers and editors of the top online video gaming media outlets were subscribed, and the archives of which showed conclusive proof that the Gamers are Dead articles had been planned beforehand, industry wide, and proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that the gaming media was rotten to its core.

Gamergate exploded. Everybody was talking about it. The media kept up the narrative of gamers being sexist but the entire show had moved on. Nobody cared about Zoe Quinn any more. They all wanted to hold the gaming press accountable for their actions, and the gaming press were not going to go quietly. The elite in the circle of feminists and internet celebrities tried to collude to shut the whole thing down – twitter shadow-banned the use of the hashtag, reddit mods were deleting gamergate threads  left right and centre and even 4chan was perma-banning anybody who used it, but to no avail, this was the anti-corruption movement that rivals Watergate in its size.

Indeed it was so big that 3 years later it is still not gone. Gamergate is still a force on the internet, trying to expose the corruption in journalism wherever it finds it, but it is still referred to by those who do not understand it as “trying to drive women out of video games”. Personally, I find it a little bit strange that such a movement would use Vyvian James as its mascot, but I’m just a random tumblr account who was 2 years late to the party.

If you want to know more, the Youtuber Internet Aristocrat published a video series called “Quinnspiracy Theory” which was started 3 days after the ZoePost first dropped and provides a snapshot of how the movement became what it is today. Due to the Internet Aristocrat having deleted his account after getting it got too big for him and moving on to Mister Metokur, the best place to find it is the compilation video “Internet Aristocrat - Quinnspiracy Theory [Mirror]” [5] by GamerGaters on Steam.

~

The language used in this article, particularly in paragraphs 4 and 11, points it squarely at the “white, heterosexual, male” demographic. It makes the argument that the attitudes of said demographic need to change to be more accepting of the LGBT, non-white, disabled or people of faith, and seems to suggest that anybody who is not a white straight male is going to made to feel unwelcome.

Now, nobody can speak for an entire demographic. Indeed, assuming somebody thinks the same way you do or holds the same political beliefs just because you identify the same way sounds like a bad idea, despite what today’s identity politics driven discourse seems to say.

However, I feel that I can speak on behalf of, if not all then certainly a large majority of the white, cis, heterosexual male demographic when I say this:

I am sorry for being born wrong.

I apologise that I was born the wrong skin colour. I beg your forgiveness for having a penis, liking having that penis and being sexually attracted to those who have a vagina and breasts. I didn’t ask to be born like this.

I don’t look at a black guy and think “should be picking cotton in a field”, and I don’t look at women and think “make me a sandwich” (unless of course they work at Subway),  but apparently I’m a horrific racist, misogynistic, homophobic and transphobic bigot purely due to my skin colour, genitals and sexual orientation.

(You may take this apology with as much sarcasm as you feel is necessary.)

Please don’t try to blame an entire demographic for your subjective experiences. We don’t like being told we’re second class citizens by everybody in positions of power over us. We weren’t alive during the slave trade, we never told women that they weren’t allowed to vote, the vast majority couldn’t give less of a toss what you stick in whom so long as you both enjoy it. All we ask is that you afford us the same courtesy.

 Bibleography

[1] Being A Female Gamer - Samantha Stockin - Wordpress 16/07/2017 -  https://thisisaboutblog.wordpress.com/2017/07/16/being-a-female-gamer/

[2] thezoepost - Wordpress 16/08/2014 - https://thezoepost.wordpress.com/

[3]  We Might Be Witnessing The 'Death of An Identity' - Luke Plunkett - Kotaku 28/08/2017 - http://kotaku.com/we-might-be-witnessing-the-death-of-an-identity-1628203079

[4]  Exposed: The Secret Mailing List of the Gaming Journalism Elite - Milo Yiannopoulos - Breitbart 17/09/2014 - http://www.breitbart.com/london/2014/09/17/exposed-the-secret-mailing-list-of-the-gaming-journalism-elite/

[5]  Internet Aristocrat - Quinnspiracy Theory [Mirror] - GamerGaters on Steam - Youtube 06/12/2014 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zz--i3M4PVk