#I just love my Bee. The nonverbal one. He feels more personal to me as an autistic person who can't use speech at times

[vampthropologist]

I hope when I watch the animated Transformers stuff, Bumblebee still can’t talk. Bumblebee sticks with me because he’s nonverbal and people still love him for him. That’s why I’ve liked him since I was a little kid. He was a smart-alec, he was protective, he was caring, he always did his best. His cheekiness didn’t stop him from doing what was right or more important. I love that about him. He didn’t need a voice to do that! He was still loved for doing that, for being him!

Him using the radio is like using an assisted device to speak, and it gives a specific charm and corniness to him that really fits him. His little chirps when he doesn’t use it, adorable! I don’t get why there seems to be a focus on him needing it fixed so often. He’s perfectly alright without it. I mean, sure it took some time but wouldn’t it for anyone? I still try to figure out how to express myself in the best way when I can't use speech.

It just feels like by a show “fixing” his voice, it’s taking a part away from why I love him as a character. It feels like his not speaking the same as everyone else is a downside, when it’s not! Maybe it also hurts and annoys me because it feels like it falls in line with the trope of “fixing” a disabled character by removing their disability. I just don’t like it. Bee is fine as he is. I love him as he is for who he is, and he doesn’t need a “normal” voice to show who he is.

[year2000electronics]

just wanted to say i absolutely adore ad astra per aspera! do you have any tips or advice for writing stone and robotnik in character?

THANK YIU... tee bee eich a lot of my robotnik characterization comes from Projection SHDKSJDHA but i will try to give some insight into like. how I Personally write them

stone:

- he’s an admirer but NOT a pushover!! stone questions robotnik a lot whether that be nonverbally in his expressions or to his face like him commenting on his disdain for knuckles and saying that he thought he should check on robotnik first, he’s a lot more willing in general to put up with robotnik’s robotnik-isms and weird physical moments but he’s not frothing at the mouth going OHHH DOCTOR I LOVE IT WHEN YOU PIN ME TO THE WALL OOH. he sighs before he does it which to me reads as stone admiring robotnik’s intellect and capability and accepting his other parts as just Things That’ll Happen In Robotnik Land. he didn’t sign up for it but he’s not gonna let it get in the way

- i try to write his style of speaking as like. formal. to the point. he contrasts w robotnik a lot by being the frigid shorthand to robotnik’s bombardment of words. robotnik is a metaphor machine while stone prefers to get to the point i find. he’s robotnik’s Normal Man Translator which already makes his responses snappier but he tends to not skirt around words like robotnik does

- he operates on a similar level to robotnik, Relatively Speaking, as seen in the prequill and novelization he may be one of the only people who would follow robotnik’s order to just prepare for his return, he seems somewhat disdainful of people below him but doesn’t really express it to them in Words (ie letting his coworkers push him around in the prequel, trying to get info out of the guy in movie 1 with the somewhat defeated ‘did he say where he was going’, in movie 2 when he’s entertaining wades charades), but there are some parts of robotnik he doesn’t get (robotnik’s disregard for his own safety with the fingers in his mouth scene, the fact that he thinks ‘wow this guy seems stressed maybe if i make him a latte it’ll all be okay’) they’re similar but not The Same. if that makes sense

- very capable! (obviously) we see him take out an entire coffee shop and possibly even run it on his own, while also building robotnik’s lair, he manages to read robotnik’s manual in no time flat, he’s a very skilled guy but he rarely draws attention to it (though that’s not to say he isn’t prideful, you do see some of that pride in the prequill and the manual scene) he just doesn’t state his genius like robotnik does

- more willing to express his feelings than robotnik, he seems to show some level of restraint from totally gushing over him like we see in the robotnik entering the mean bean scene when he goes from First I Lol’ed but Then I Serious’d but he still loves making him his coffee and TAKE ME WITH YOU and he has like five or six different moments where he calls robotnik and his work brilliant extraordinary etc etc etc

robotnik:

- what i find a common mistake with robotnik is like. his walls come down Too Soon. to me it feels like he doesn’t keep them up because he wants to, it’s because it’s baked into him at this point. every time he expresses something genuine he seems to do it with difficulty or adding a snide remark at the end as his cushion (ie thanks... for nothing, him raising his voice during I LOVE THE WAY YOU MAKE THEM). he struggles with open positive communication because to compliment is, in itself, this DEEPLY vulnerable act that a lot of people tend to take for granted

- robotnik loves getting fancy with his words. the more words and the more unique the better, his vocabulary is rich with metaphors and similes and anecdotes. it’s never JUST “you’re dumb and i’m smart”, it’s “i bet you’re HELLA popular with the jebs and merles and billy bobs here, bet you go way back to the days of TIPPIN’ COWS and PLAYIN’ ON A JUG BAND!!” or “it says i’m the top banana in a world of hungry little monkeys”. robotnik is always searching for new and inventive ways to absolutely tear people to bits so get WEIRD with the metaphors

- this is a bit of a recent one since i noticed it’s more a movie-2-robotnik trait, but robotnik also has a habit of referring to people with kind of off-color nicknames? that are metaphors in itself (my little stalagmites for a cave encounter with sonic and tails, implying they’re in a cave and they’re prone to falling, my trusty barnacle to stone, implying he’s something that grows on and is Stuck To Robotnik, my massively metacarpaled friend to knuckles, officer brainfart for wade)

- in general robotnik’s style of speech is also very word-heavy not just in the metaphor sense but he’s always fighting for the most control he can possibly get in that interaction (as we see in his introductory i’m in charge scene) so he tends to run his mouth on and on and baffle whoever’s with him into silence, and he’ll interrupt them until they go quiet he’s very prone to interrupting

- other quirks include splicing robot things into his way of life (his little ‘zzt! zzzt!’ noises which do Return for movie 2. yay.) and seemingly having a father-son relationship with his badniks as he refers to himself as daddy and papa multiple times and calls them his babies (he will never hesitate to compliment unfeeling machines that can’t possibly respond... however if they fail him he holds back no mercy. see MOVE YOU HUNK OF JUNK!)

- spite. oh my god, spite. robotnik is prideful but he’s also spiteful. if there’s anything that touches a nerve (family, being well liked, etc), he is JEALOUS. and it shows by him getting angry or more hostile in his words (look at the happy little family, rub that in my orphan face). he makes a lot of stuff about his own personal trauma

- he uses a million words when one could work. he uses two words in place of one. he uses a thesaurus for everything. instead of going “i think this is an alien” he goes “no. what’s incredible is that i can’t find a match for it ANYWHERE. in EARTHS ANIMAL KINGDOM. this blackout was not a terrorist attack, and that’s no baby bigfoot.” he says “truculent space bumpkin” like NOTHING

- hes multilingual! knows some spanish and japanese

- another thing i see people often fall into the pitfall of is that they can write a very good Serious Angry Spiteful Robotnik but that’s only ONE of his two Modes. when robotnik’s not insulting people or making everything about him personally, he’s having FUN. robotnik is written incredibly campy and he likes to snark on situations giddily. (ie “ever wonder where your tax dollars are going?�� , “thay was an illegal left, by the way!” “good one! i’m sure that wasn’t important!” he’s SILLY he’s GOOFY when he’s not being a bitch he’s being an ANNOYING bitch!! he did a funky spin!!!!

- he’s not dumb when it comes to his feelings for stone. he knows why he made that rock. he would just rather die than admit it. he’s so in denial that he’s managed to push that revelation to the pit of his soul. he likes having stone around and on some level he thinks stone is the smartest person on planet earth besides him, and will take him with him on evil plans, but he refuses to examine why and wants to just continue as they are as this weirdly personal boss assistant relationship

one last thing for the both of them i do not see ‘doctor’ and ‘stone’ (how they address eachother) as some derogatory thing they must eventually Graduate from. to me their relationship reads as something that only they could make professional names sound like pet names. like that’s just the way they are

[starr-fall-knight-rise]

Humans are Space Orcs, “Man’s Best Friend.”

Try not to bee too mad at me guys :) Sorry about the angst. 

It is a more than well known anomaly that humans will social bond with any species. This is not barring their danger levels, or factors of perceived cuteness; no matter the cost, humans will pack bond with any animal. They have even been known to bond with inanimate objects and houseplants. However, one of the greatest bonds man has ever created, is their bond with dogs. Thousands of years ago a man shared his food and his fire with a wolf: another social pack species. After years and years of careful breeding selection manipulated by humans, they ‘created’ an animal that protects loyally, forgives quickly, and loves unconditionally.

In my study of humans, I have found that the emotional bond with a dog can run deeper than an emotional bond with humans.  I am not entirely sure why a human would find it more displeasing to watch a movie where a dog dies than to watch a movie where a human dies, but I have some suspicion that it has to do with the innocence and unconditional friendship that dog has given man, a quality that man has never given himself.

***

Waffles: a 75lb 34kilo german shepherd shoved her head into an alien bush nose working furiously as she pawed through the strange purple plant. She came back up a moment later and sneezed violently sending up a cloud of delicate yellow polin.

Admiral Vir laughed and whistled, and turning on her heel she bounded back to him over open ground her ears straight up, her tail wagging furiously. She ran up to him and touched her nose to his hand as if tagging base before bounding off again to sniff the path before them.

Krill and Sunny walked with him, Krill staring at the brightly colored alien landscape with buzzing antenna.

Waffles leaped through another patch of wild blue grass sending up more white spores into the air, stopping only to sneeze again before continuing.

Sunny went up to walk beside the Admiral, “She looks happy.”

Adam nodded, “Yeah, I like bringing her down on occasion to get some fresh air. I know she does pretty well on the ship, but I feel bad keeping her cooped up so much.”

With another bound Waffles plowed through a shallow stream sending up droplets of water.

This planet was one the GA had been studying for some time, and, as it seemed, it was a relatively nice, habitable planet that they were readying for colonization for the Finnari, or perhaps, humans, or even both permitting everything went well.

Krill watched the dog as she plowed through the grass, rolling in the  weeds like she was having the time of her life.

Predators used to scare him, but the dog had proven herself to be docile at the Admiral’s command, and he could at least tolerate her if not like her…. Just a little.

Adam Grinned at his dog’s antics and charged into the grass after her.

The dog dropped her front paws, but and tail sticking up in the air, a nonverbal invitation for her master to play with her. He didn’t reject her offer and raced forward to play chasing her around the field, their legs swishing over the grass. She barked happily as they did.

Adam had now ran far ahead of the others towards another nearby forest path. Waffles was behind him just a little ways as he pulled to a halt panting.

It was then that he heard it, a sudden rustling of foliage turning into a swirling thunder of air.

He turned on the spot eyes wide in shock and surprise.

Surprise at the ravening beast charging directly towards him, its purple fur and white tusks glittering in the sun. he leapt out of the way, but the beast was quick, about waist height and angry. He was so startled he couldn't even scream his only reaction to try to kick at the creature and keep it back.

It squared off against him, and he tried backing away, but it charged again.

There was a sudden snarling noise, and waffles charged into the fight snarling and snapping.

She bit the creature hard on it’s back leg.

“WAFFLES!” Adam shouted 

The creature turned violently and whipped it’s tusks at waffles, who didn’t heed them as she charged in again, snapping at its face and throat forcing herself between Adam and his attacker.

It thrashed and she yelped in pain, but charged forward again, grabbing it by the leg and holding on for dear life as  it trampled into the bush dragging her along with it.

Another yelp came from the forest, high pitched and painful.

“WAFFLES!” It didn’t take a moment before Adam was chagrin into the bush after them pulling his sidearm as he did. He followed the sound just in time to see the creature whip it’s head around and catch waffles hard in the side picking her up and tossing her to the ground. Blood drenched her fur, while green icor drenched her muzzle.

He screamed in anger instead of fear this time as he leveled his sidearm and emptied his magazine at the creature. He wasn’t sure how many hit, but the creature was tough enough that it staggered off itne bush yowling. He ignored it for the time and ran, throwing himself to his knees at the side of waffles, who was lying on the ground breathing shallowly.

Sunny roared into the clearing just behind them, her spear raised, but the creature was already gone.

Adam reached out his hands which were trembling so badly he could barely function, “Waffles, waffles no no no no.”

He rested a hand on her side and she whimpered in pain, her muzzle resting on the ground her eyes half hooded.

A choked sob broke from his throat, “No. no…. You’re g-gonna be o-ok.” 

His hands fluttered uselessly over her body, covered in blood.

“KRILL! PLEASE Someone… h-help.”

Sunny stood back in shock and fear as Adam clawed at his hair, tears rolling down his face in uncontrolled streams.

Krill scuttled in not far after.

Adam turned to look at him his face twisted into a snarl, “Help her!” His voice cracked on demand and he turned back hands still shaking not knowing what to do. Being a doctor krill was well aware that the human’s anger was displaced and did not take it personally as he moved forward and took a look at the injured animal.

He lifted her front paw, and she whimpered piteously.

Off to the side Adam was still inconsolable, his hands in his hair threatening to rip out fistfulls with his clutching fingers. His agitations was actually getting in the way of Krill working.

“Adam, Adam just hold her head ok, help her stay calm.”

He nodded following orders stiffly, crawling over the ground to sit her head in his lap and tell her she was such a good girl and that she was going to be ok. Streams of continual tears rolled down his cheeks and onto her fur. Waffles licked his hand lethargically.

Sunny knelt next to him, hand on his shaking shoulder powerless as for what to do.

She had never seen him like this, ever.

Not that Adam was one to conceal his emotions completely, but he generally subscribed to silent tears if there were any at all. This, this was different, no holds barred uncontrollably sobbing, the kind where the human loses all functioning, eyes, nose, mouth and racking sobs that shook the body in aggressive, violent spasms.

Krill rolled waffles a little further onto her side spotting a deep gash from her chest and abdomen. He couldn't tell how deep it was, and didn’t want to look in this sort of environment.

“Sunny, call the shuttle!”

The urgency in his voice only served to secure Adam’s worst fears, “No… no, ou’re going to be o.”

“Adam, give me your jacket.”

He did without hesitation, ripping it off his body and offering it to krill as if it was the thing that was going to save her life.

Krill got Adam to help lift her onto the jacket and wrap her up, while he used some thing from his medical kit to staunch the bleeding. Waffles was still conscious, through her eyes were half lidded.

“Please be ok.” Adam begged, and despite all her injuries, her tail thudded against the ground at the sound of his voice and the touch of his hand. This only started his tears flowing even harder.

Overhead the sound of engines whirred, and touched down on the grass not far away.

“Ok, lift her gently.”

He did as ordered hugging her to his chest and practically racing towards the shuttle as it descended.

When the doors opened he practically bowled past the waiting marine who looked on in shock.

He gently lay Waffles on one of the seats all but yellin at one of the marines to make sure she stayed there before racing to the ront of the craft.

“Admiral are you sure…” The copilot began.

“Get out o my fucking way!” he snarled, and the ire in his voice was so that the man quickly leaped from his seat as Adam slid into the pilot’s seat. Krill was worried that the human was going to kill them all trying to pilot in that state, but what he witnessed next was a feat of pure talent and skill as he maneuvered them up through the clouds faster and steadier than krill would have thought possible.

Waffles whimpered softly in the background, held tight in Sunny’s arms now.

Their copilot sent out a medial call as soon as was feasible and very prudent.

By the time they made it inside, a crew was waiting with a stretcher.

Didn’t matter that it was waffles, but they treated her as they might any human with krill tagging long beside.

Adam ran after them until the doors to the med bay shut in his face and he was told to stay outside.

***

Sunny made her way quietly down the hall footsteps no more than a whisper over the metal floor. It was dark on the ship, the lights having been dimmed for the night. Up ahead she could see light filtering out into the hallway, and the rim lighting of a figure sitting in the dark.

She moved forward, and the mass of shadow coalesced from the darkness. Adam sat on the floor, knees pulled to his chest, head in his hands. Three pairs of bright yellow eyes looked up at her from the darkness. And Sunny tilted her head in surprise to see three Finnari curled up around Adam. One leaned against his left side, one leaned against his right side, and one rested against his legs.

The others raised their heads, though Adam remained curled up with his head in his hands.

Sunny nodded to them, “I can take it from here.” She said quietly

The Finnari looked between each other and then waddled to their feet. One of them patted Adam’s hair before joining the group and waddling off down the hall. Sunny knelt and then slowly sat next to Adam resting a hand on his back.They sat in the dark in silence for a long while before he looked up at her.

His cheeks were still wet, and she had no idea how he was still producing any, sure he would have dehydrated hours ago.

In response, she pulled the human closer using all four of her arms until he was curled up against her head resting against her chest.

“I….I can’t l-lose her s-sunny…. I I don’t know what I-I’d do.”

She rubbed his back gently with one of her lower hands, feeling as his body continued to spasm rhythmically with the beat of his grief. He covered his eyes with his right hand turning into her chest as if trying to hide his face. His teeth were gritted against quiet sobs.

But despite his attempts to stay quiet, he couldn’t.

It killed Sunny to watch.

He was completely debilitated. She had seen a human like this maybe once before under different circumstances. Neither war, nor kidnapping, or injury in the time she had known him had ever brought this man to his knees, and if it had it had been silently and alone where he dealt with it himself.

This was different.

He had snapped, broken right in half.

It surprised her almost how fragile humans were, after everything he could have gone through, and after everything he did, this is what hurt him.

His grief came in waves, one moment she thought he had finally calmed down, and then the next moment he was escalating again just as bad as before. It was exhausting to watch, and she had no idea what to do other than keep him company in the dimness of the hallway.

They were there for hours.

And then the door hissed open.

Adam shot to his feet as krill stepped out into the hall.

His hair was disheveled -- even more so than usual-- his face was red and puffy, his eyes were ringed in bright red. The collar of his shirt was damp. 

Sunny rose to her feat as well.

“Is she-” he couldn't finish, choking up again.

“She’s alright, we were just waiting for her to wake up to make sure. But she’s going to be ok.”

This time the sound he made was a sob of relief rather than grief, “Can I see her?”

Krill paused but then nodded, motioning him back. He hurried after into the med bay.

At the end of the room, waffles lay curled up on one of the beds.

She was wrapped in bandages and an IV was held into her right front leg with pink gauze. Someone had managed to fashion a makeshift cone out of plastic shielding.

Adam rushed over.

Waffles blinked slowly at him, too tired to lift her head, but her tail began to whap happily against the covers of the bed. He smiled rubbing his hands through the soft fur of her face and ears, “Good girl…. You’re such a good girl.” tears were leaking down his face again, but he was smiling.

With great effort, waffles lifted her head, licking at his face with her long pink tongue, whipping the tears from his face the only way she knew how.

Krill walked over and paused by them, “She should be up and about by tomorrow, but she definitely needs to rest and recover.”

Adam looked up at Krill, “Can I stay here…. With her?”

Krill looked at him unsure, but the look on the human’s face was one the little alien certainly couldn't say no to , and he sighed, “Alright, you can stay.”

When Sunny left the room Adam was curled up on the bed with the dog resting with her back to his chest, the two of them fast asleep.

Thank the spirits Waffles was ok.

***

Ask a human, the vast majority of them find the sadness of grief or pain of a dog to be more poignant than that of a human -- unless the human is one they know--. This is why movies often employ dogs for emotional factors. Perhaps you cannot get an audience to cry for the pain of a human, but if you get a dog to wait at its owner's owners grave than you can have an entire audience in tears. As I said earlier. It's hard to watch the pain of someone who doesn't deserve that pain and never will.

Dogs are a reflection of the best parts of man 

[double--cross-d]

As is fair exchange, I feel like I should make my own current Wick headcannon page for @plummyplums (holy crap they did accidentally delete their old blog)

In general

All died around the same time frame

They get more decayed depending on how pissed they are (no way out appearances anyone?)

Mary and John were highly abusive, there was nothing supernatural, But the priest didn't help. Mary was killed by the Ghost Tom immediately after she buried Caleb alive, but he left the body in the charred house so no one knew.

Every ghost is part of the Tom Protection Squad™️

The order of the shelf items were the order they died.

Twin general

Both had autism, Tim is higher functioning than Tom

Both were 10

Both died on the same night.

Their father kicked them out into the woods when they were 8 for a year. After he died their mom finally let them back inside, but was still neglectful of them

Due to how cold the woods got at night, the two got in the habit of cuddling each other in order to stay warm, it was purely platonic, don't worry.

This carried to inside because their mom never got them any blankets (though Caleb gave them several of his)

Lillian and Caleb thought it was fucked up how their parents treated the two and did everything they could to help

Tim

Died in the house fire, attempting to keep the already dead corpse of Tom company.

Stims usually include whittling and basically any woodwork.

Can and will stab a man for his brother.

Was the younger twin, but always threated people by saying he was the older twin.

The first one who took a liking to Sam, whenever they found something, he'd be the one to take it back to the shed.

Is surprisingly the less violent twin, but not by much.

Mom fully convinced him that he was a demon, believes that he never died in the fire, just managed to fall asleep in the flames

His face is coved in bandages under the mask due to it being heavily burned.

Tom

Died from polio before the fire started in his twin's arms.

The rattle is a big comfort object. The only person allowed to handle it is Tim. Sam's position on the matter is... questionable at best.

Nonverbal to the point that's he's practically mute.

When Sam's They/It ass came along, Tom was full on estatic that there weren't limitations on pronouns. He decided that he was one of those He/They's we keep hearing about

He was terrified that his mom was right about him being a demon. The first thing he did when he woke up after dying was jump of the bridge because, 'oh shit I am a demon', which did nothing but break more bones.

Tim quickly assured them that he was the only demon of the family, not Tom

The leg brace helps him walk better than not.

The more violent twin. You're human? You look at him? You hurt Tim? You fucking die, no questions asked.

Really likes being carried. Sam is the only one tall enough to do this, though Benny and Tim have both tried.

Caleb

Died by being buried alive by his mother, thinking that he had died in the fire.

Full on feral.

Seriously, he can't even talk that well, if he even can.

Doesn't even know the concept of gender, only hunt.

Has killed 3 moose and will kill another.

When he's not digging he's either killing something, chasing something on all fours, or chilling with Sam.

Oh yeah, Sam's his favorite person. You can tell from the fact that he not only uses them as a pillow, but they can hold him without their wrists being depleted.

He still chews on their legs

Was the one behind the camp being 'vacated'. He literally ate everyone there and fell asleep just as morning hit.

When he was alive he has ADHD, but was hella good at masking because his twin brother's got treated awfully for acting like your average autistic child.

His stims were running around, chewing on things, and crocheting.

No one questioned the fact that he liked to crochet, as it was productive and really good. He usually just did blankets but occasionally made clothes and toys for Lillian

Due to the fact he made so many blankets his bed was just a mound of blanket and they were often gifted to the rest of the family, especially the twins.

Had anorexia. Rarely ate, and mostly gave the food to the twins (out of both concern and I'm not eating this)

This is part of the reason that, in death, he will eat anything that he can get his hands on

Was bone thin when Benny got him and Lillian out of the fire and he had suffered several nasty burns, that's how his mom thought he died.

Lillian

Died by dropping her plush in the well and going after it

Loves bunnies so much

Tried her best to help her twin brothers, which mainly included sneaking food out to them

Really scared of her father, even though he died when she was 4.

Thought that Tom fell down the well before her

Enjoys giving hugs

Really Likes when Sam does her hair

Benny

Died from hypothermia in his sleep.

A less abusive apparition of his mother when awake. Caring towards his siblings, but highly cautious around the twins.

Had issues referring to Sam correctly, until they gave him the advice, 'Just refer to me like I'm a swarm of bees'

It actually worked

Dyslexic

Almost always sleeping because he died in his sleep

Sam

Fell on an axe at the beginning of hour 5 and didn't notice they were dying of blood loss until they blacked out, only to wake up on the bus and see their name.

Another abusive dad! This one actually was murdered by Tim somehow and nobody noticed but Sam.

Was actually rescued at 5 AM by the police, but, again, bled to death

A They/It Nonbinary, none of the kids but Benny had any issue referring to them by correct pronouns, and even then, Benny had a lot of help.

The Weaver kids just adopted them as an older sibling. They had no say in the matter.

When Duncan and co. Got out of jail and continued their shitty ways, they full on killed them all, even the next to be player

Loves their new family, even if they're all a little dead.

Surprised that Caleb was the one to get most attached, but then remembered that he killed a moose that was about to attack them, gave them some of the flesh to eat, and then just fell asleep on them.

Was in a house fire a few weeks before the game took place. Half of their face and their right hand are heavily burned.

Looks blind, but is only blind in one eye. The other doesn't fair much better though.

Despite getting top surgery, they're still aiming for confusion among the victims

Autism, and doesn't really speak too much because frequent nonverbal episodes

[side-effect-of-the-meds]

When Andrew has a depressive episode that’s worse than Neil’s seen, I hc he makes himself get over his dislike of Bee to go to her (and finally listen to her ofc) so she can give advice on how he can help

Okay so this got a little long and p off-topic and I’m sorry but here. At least you get a kiss at the end :)

Bee’s excitement is palpable but she’s trying her best to contain it. She starts by asking if Neil can identify what might have triggered it and attempt to work from there. The thing is, there isn’t one. Not one that Neil would have known to look for at least. 

It’s incredibly apparent in all of my works that I hc Andrew as secretly insecure about his self-worth, specifically he doesn’t think he’s good enough for Neil. Andrew binds the people he loves to him with pacts and promises. Andrew promised to protect Kevin and Neil from the Moriyamas but now that Riko is gone, they don’t need him anymore. Andrew promised to remain by Aaron’s side so long as neither of them were in romantic relationships. Andrew broke that promise to be with Neil. HE BROKE HIS PROMISE. TO HIS OWN TWIN. TO BE WITH NEIL. It scares him shitless to know that Neil has this power over him. And Neil didn’t even ask for it. Neil wasn’t even trying. Andrew literally put a collar around his own neck and handed the leash to Neil without being asked to. 

So Andrew’s constant inner monologue is just FuckFuckFuckFuck and it’s his own fault. Neil doesn’t need his protection anymore. He can leave anytime he wants and then Andrew will be left broken and alone once more. Sometimes, Andrew will see Matt and Dan or Renee and Allison doing couple things and it hurts. He sees them cuddling and kissing, so unabashedly in love with one another. He sees Nicky and Erik face timing every week and hears them saying goodbye for a whole fifteen minutes before Erik really does have to leave. The worst one, by far, is Aaron and Katelyn’s relationship. Aaron shares 100% of Andrew’s DNA and is just as broken as he is but even he knows how to love like a normal person. 

The trigger itself was Andrew taking a trip down to Redding. Neil had wanted mexican food and the restaurant wasn’t willing to deliver so Andrew went to grab food for him. Parking is hard to find on a Friday night so Andrew parked half a block down from the restaurant and walked. On his way, he passed by the italian restaurant too. Walking by, he glances into the window. What he sees knocks the breath out of his lungs. Seated beside the window is Aaron and Katelyn. They’re sitting opposite one another and holding hands across the table while they feed each other with their free hands. In between bites, Katelyn is talking animatedly about something and Aaron? Aaron has never looked happier in his whole life. In the middle of her talking, he gets up and leans across the table to press a kiss to her forehead. It leaves her a giggling mess and Aaron is smiling wide. 

Hurrying away, Andrew grabs the food and returns to the dorms. Neil is studying so he drops the food on his desk. Neil thanks him without looking up and starts eating. Oof. Andrew feels his chest tighten. Usually, Andrew’s very presence was enough to pry Neil’s attention away from his work. What was different today? The answer is that if Neil doesn’t get his grades up, he’ll have to go extra tutoring. If he gets extra tutoring, that will cut into his time on the court and Kevin won’t have that. Kevin will take away Neil’s time with Andrew so that Neil can spend time on the court and Neil really doesn’t want to give up Andrew for Exy. Of course, Andrew doesn’t know this. 

Instead, he starts to get insecure. Did he do something wrong? Was Neil’s interest in him just a fling? Does Neil really not swing? Andrew goes quiet while he tries to sort it out. He’s wrapped up in his own little world, analyzing his own actions and comparing them to the things that Matt, Renee, Erik, and Aaron do. Maybe he should be more affectionate. So he tries that. He tries to hold Neil only to find that it triggered some long-buried memory. It left him a shaking mess. He tries to hold his hand but Neil’s rough hands remind him of the hand that pinned him to the bed. Andrew starts to think he’s too broken to love. 

Neil doesn’t know this. How the hell would he? Andrew hasn’t said anything. Neil knows that a lot of Andrew’s cues are nonverbal so he searches for physical signs but Andrew’s building new walls to keep him out. Telling Bee as much worries her. She asks if Neil wants to have a joint session but he declines. He needs to learn how to do this on his own. Bee nods. Remembering that Andrew has a hard time speaking, she asks Neil to talk to him about writing things down. Maybe he’d find it easier to communicate if he could put his feelings down on paper. 

And that’s how Neil finds himself wandering the dollar store for a notebook. Taking it home, he decides that he’ll write first. With a deep breath, Neil opens the book and presses his pencil to the first line. He sits there for an hour before realizing he hasn’t written anything. This is a lot harder than he thought it would be. 

It takes another hour before he’s finally got something. It isn’t very much but he thinks is conveys his own thoughts well enough. He leaves the notebook open to the page his letter is on on Andrew’s desk before slipping out to meet Matt. 

Neil knows better than to expect an immediate response but he can’t help but feel his heart sink when he sees the notebook closed on Andrew’s desk. Going up to the roof, he settles beside him and they smoke in silence. 

It takes almost a week before Neil finally gets a response. Returning home from a shopping trip with Allison, Neil’s heart skips a beat when he finds the notebook on his desk. When he opens it, he understands why it took so long. Half of it has been scribbled out and rewritten. Several whole sheets have been torn out. Andrew’s struggle to write him this letter is apparent. When speaking, it was easy for Andrew to hide his feelings behind his clever tongue but there was no hiding on paper. 

It broke Neil’s heart to see Andrew comparing himself to everyone else. With great care, Neil wrote his response. After some debate, Neil grabbed the notebook and slipped out of the room. Taking it up to the roof, Neil found Andrew waiting for him. Andrew looked at the notebook with apparent disinterest but Neil knew better. 

“I want to read it to you,” Neil said. 

“I’m not illiterate,” Andrew replied. 

“I didn’t say you were.” Neil waited until Andrew looked at him before he spoke again. “Just because I don’t need you to protect me from the Moriyamas doesn’t mean I don’t want you around anymore. Being with you makes me happy. Being with you makes me feel real. When we’re together, I don’t feel like I have to prove anything. When we’re together, I feel like I’m finally good enough. I want you to feel the same way. 

“Just because your not as affectionate as Aaron doesn’t mean your any less than him. I picked you, not him. I picked you in your drugged mania and I picked you in your sober apathy. Do you understand what that means? It means your enough. All the things that you do? They’re enough, Drew. They’re more than enough. 

“I can not undo your past but I want to give you a better future. I can not fix you but I want to help you get better. I don’t want to be your pipe dream anymore. Look at me, Andrew. Touch me. I’m real. I’m real and I’m here and I’m going to stay here until the day you tell me to go. Is that what you want? Do you want me to go?” 

“No,” Andrew whispered. 

“Then stop pushing me away,” Neil insisted. Leaning into Andrew’s space, Neil waited to see if he’d move. Andrew did. He moved closer until their lips were just a hair’s width apart. “You like promises so I’ve got one for you. Promise me you’ll tell me what’s wrong next time.”

“Promise,” Andrew replied before closing the space between them. 

[rainforestseed]

~TWTWTW

(tw. all mental illness, suicidal violent ideation) other than that it’s a pretty dandylion thought spill i’ve been nonverbal for a long time now n i think i’m still in autistic burnout. I’ve completely isolated myself in a room to avoid aggressive meltdowns. just the thought of the extra input of someone speaking to or touching me makes me idealise suicide. I am major lacking serotonin. I’ve been taking medication for a couple of weeks now n i feel no different. i know my fear of speaking also has to do with dysphoria. cause the last person i spoke to was an ant i rescued from the shower floor n when i spoke to her i was shocked at the sound n wanted to stab myself in the throat with my toothbrush. I want to scream. in my daydream worlds i’m a reflection of sorts. i'm still autistic. i’m still trans. but sometimes i’m not. i try to feel like it feels to be a cis boy but it’s hard cause i don’t know what that would feel like and it takes a lot of my energy to try. but i don’t have ptsd and i don’t have an eating disorder. i’m still mentally ill and i’m living. like i’m actually living a life beside it all. i’m not just rotting. i don’t feel ashamed. i don’t know how. i do not know how. but i have a flat chest with long pink scars. there’s an ocean angel boy who likes me. i’m in love with him. he doesn’t know yet. We often go out in a little old boat together on the lake. He falls asleep in the boat sometimes and i sketch him. there’s yellow and white lillies. sometimes the white ones turn pink in the sunshine. there are sounds of humming bees and dragonflies and eastern whip birds. i feel more capable in my daydreams n i feel glad to be alive. i’m able to care for others. i seem to do things with my rage. like ram a metal crochet hook into the side of a bullies car and keep walking through the noise of it. I actually allow my self to be with my friends. I allow them to love me. And I don’t automatically mask my autism. So i don’t feel like dying. I have energy. I run off to climb a tree and stick my hands in dirt and sand. I don’t want to die. i feel like there is when the water is still and stagnant, and i look down and there is a whole upside down world of sky and trees taking me inward and everything feels like earth magic and oddly familiar and a comforting kind of strange and at peace and exciting and unpredictable all at once. 

[culturalgutter]

At first it was the way the bears were stacked atop each other that appealed to me. I’d see ads for We Bare Bears while watching other shows and think, “That is adorable/charming/cute/apealing?” Their shape, the color arrangement. Just the whole stacking thing. But one weekend shortly after the 2016 election, I made myself chocolate chip pancakes and decided I’d watch an episode of this bear cartoon and see what was what. I ended up spending the day watching episode after episode of We Bare Bears.  My first episode—or at least the one that I remember most clearly—was, “The Demon.” In it, Ice Bear and his friend Chloe Park face the terror of the neighbor’s little dog after Chloe accidentally loses her hoody to the fiend. It is nicely done with Chekov’s potato gun appearing in the first act appearing again in the third. It has elements that I most like about the show at its best. A reliance on character to drive the plot, conflict and action; diverse characters; a careful calculus around consequences; appropriate stakes; and, resolutions that tend toward ending in a better place than the episode began. These elements aren’t easy to pull off, especially in an eleven minute episode.

In We Bare Bears, three bear bros, Grizz, Panda and Ice Bear, live together in a cave in the woods. We Bare Bears is set in the Bay Area.  A lot of cartoons and shows are set supposedly non-specific anywhere or everywhere that only make them seem even more the product a specific place, often, ironically enough, California. But We Bare Bears goes ahead and lets their place be their place and then sees what stories they can tell. You might have suspected from their names that these bears are not biologically related. The bears are a chosen family with Grizz as the oldest brother and Ice Bear as the youngest. And even though Ice Bear is, as he says, “best bear,” all the bears have their own charm. Grizz is an outgoing and enthusiastic brown bear. His wants to be cool and to have a lot of friends. Sometimes he tries too hard or is too caught up in his own enthusiasm. But he tries hard and when the bears befriend Chloe, he learns some Korean to try be a good friend and maybe to reassure her father and grandmother that being friends with bears is alright. Grizz loves 1980s and 1990s action movies and has made a couple of his own “Crowbar Jones” shorts, starring himself as Crowbar Jones and “Pando,” a comic relief sidekick clearly inspired by Panda.

Panda, aka, Pan-Pan, is as his name implies, a panda. He’s also an otaku loves anime, manga, Japanese and Korean pop music and K-dramas, though likely not Vampire Prosecutor, more say, Boys Over Flowers and those body-switching romantic dramas, like Secret Garden (2010). Panda loves the idea of being in a relationship, but it’s probably a good thing he isn’t. He has a waifu body pillow named Miki-chan. Panda is intensely involved online hoping for likes and shares and trying to meet his true love. He’s an otaku who doesn’t read or speak much Japanese or Korean.  He’s allergic to everything and is vegetarian while his brothers love meat. Panda is sweet and sensitive but also capable of becoming resentful to the point of supervillainy.

Ice Bear always refers to himself as “Ice Bear,” except that one time he was conked on his noggin and started wearing a man-bun and hanging out with tech bros. His room is the bears’ refrigerator, where he knits and watches figure skating. Ice Bear was nonverbal as a cub and his affect does not necessarily reflect what he is feeling on the inside. Ice Bear comes across as neurodivergent and probably on the autism spectrum.

Ice Bear is clearly the coolest and arguably as he claims, “best bear.” He has what Grizz and Napoleon Dynamite would call, “skillz.” He speaks Russian, Korean, Pigeon and, I expect, many more languages. He likes axes, throwing stars, martial arts, salsa dancing, cooking, knitting and making robots. Ice Bear also has a secret life his brothers don’t know about. One revealed particularly in two episodes that are We Bare Bears influenced by Drive (2011), general Nicolas Winding Refn-ness and by John Wick, “Icy Nights” and “Icy Nights II.”* The song playing when Ice Bear enters the city in “Icy Nights” recalls “Nightcall” from the Drive soundtrack.

Grizz befriends Wyatt the biker at a gas station in the desert.

The bears make friends, though. They befriend Chloe Park, a 12-year-old Korean-American child protege who comes to study them for a college biology course. Chloe is stressed and lonely being the only tween in university. And they are also friends with Ranger Tabes, who reminds me of Rosie the camp director from Lumberjanes. Tabes out for their part of the forest. And they are friends with Charlie, a bigfoot voiced by Jason Lee, so I always kind of think he’s Earl from My Name Is Earl. Charlie also hosts the Halloween episodes, each a little horror anthology. (One with a fantastic take on Scooby-Doo).

We Bare Bears has some superficial similarities with Polar Bear Cafe, which also features a polar/ice bear, panda and grizzly bear–as well as a llama, sloth and penguin. Polar Bear Cafe‘s Panda is obsessed with being cute.  Like Ice Bear, Polar Bear is responsible and can drive a car. I enjoy his attempts to teach Penguin to drive.

“Ice Bear is responsible.”

There is a grizzly bear who gets most of his clothes from the Harley-Davidson store. But Polar Bear runs a cafe. There are a lot of puns. And the show skews towards a younger audience. That said, I think We Bare Bears make a little nod to Polar Bear Cafe with the “Coffee Cave” episode, in which the bears turn their cave into a cafe. Ice Bear becomes a barrista to facilitate Grizz hanging with cool people and Panda tries to make time with a woman he thinks is cute.

I enjoy We Bare Bears‘ references to film, tv, games, comics and cartoons and even Walt Whitman. When the bears work “shushing the unshushable” in an Oakland cineplex, there are a slew of film references that would warm the heart of the most cantankerous cinephile. In another episode, the bears recall films like Phase IV (1974) and Empire of the Ants (1977) as they obey the wishes of a queen bee.

The bears listening to the queen.

Ranger Tabes in peril!

Panda is pursued by a virtual reality Doof Warrior from Mad Max: Fury Road (2015). And there’s a bit from the beginning of Quincy Jones’ Ironside theme in “Bear Cleanse” when someone is secretly eating cake. It might’ve been taken from Kill Bill (2003) or from Lo Lieh dangerous fists in King Boxer/ Five Fingers of Death (1972). Grizz knows it from Kill Bill, but Ice Bear definitely recognizes it from King Boxer. I like that the creators are using art that they like. And art that I like, too.

While the structure is episodic, there is no total reset at the end of every episode. “Icy Nights,” for example, uses a number of elements from earlier episodes—Ice Bear’s modified roomba, for example. And human characters who are almost doppelgangers of the bears, Tom, Isaac and Griff, appear first in “Panda’s friend” and then in two more episodes, “Bro Brawl” and “The Mall.”

The show alternates between episodes featuring the bears in their presumably current adult forms with ones about the bears as cubs. If you must have origin stories, the baby bear episodes provide them and do a pretty good job. The baby bear episodes also do a good job of capturing a kids point-of-view. In general, I prefer the adult episodes, but that might be because I am an adult. As always, I don’t begrudge kids’ interests being put before my own in cartoons meant for kids.  I do, however, very much enjoy “Los Escandalosos,” in which the baby bears become a tag team in a kids’ lucha libre league in Mexico. There are some sweet luchador names in that episode and mariachis sing a ballad about los Escandalosos. Incidentally, “Escandalosos” is also the Spanish name for the show. I appreciate the pun making the title, “Scandal Bears.” It only took me two days catch it, but I did.

I also appreciate that We Bare Bears rarely translates the Spanish, Korean or Russian in the show. The writers relies on us to understand generally what is going on and not freak out when we don’t understand specifically what is said. There are times when we don’t understand something and that’s okay. I particularly appreciate that while we learn why Ice Bear knows Russian, we don’t see when Ice Bear went from non-verbal to verbal. Neurodiversity isn’t exactly the same kind of plot point as that time a Russian man in the arctic took in Ice Bear. At the same time, if the writers did decide to show the first time Ice Bear spoke, I trust them to do right by him and neurodivergent folk.

The bears are trying to participate in the human world and figure out how they fit into it. They not like they other animals anymore, but that’s okay. Though it might negatively impact their health as they prefer to eat, say, pizza bagels over bamboo and seals. And they’re not quite like humans cause they’re still bears, and that should be okay, but it’s not always.

Panda being hassled by the Man.

Daniel Chong talked a bit about how one of the things he was thinking of when creating this show was the ways that this experience paralleled being a minority in America and particularly, racism in America. Sometimes people react negatively to the bears and it’s just those people’s thing, not the bears, though it is particularly distressing to Grizz.**

I mentioned before that I appreciate that whatever shenanigans the bears or a single bears cause or are involved in have appropriately calculated stakes and consequences–and not just in the sense that a cartoon meant for all ages should probably not have a lot of gruesome death in it. The person most responsible for shenanigating takes most of the damage and uninvolved people or innocent people caught up in it are not as subject to the shenanigans.*** And that’s a relief to me. It’s not a cartoon that relies on either the pleasure of someone finally getting what they deserve–one day that Roadrunner will get his/her due!–or on the shock of, say, Ren’s cruelty to Stimpy, Jerry’s cruelty to Tom the Cat or Woody Woodpecker’s flat-out sociopathy.

Sweet jean jacket.

When the bears dig a cool jean jacket with a tiger on the back out of a dumpster, they get a run of good luck. The luck is low level, but the bears are ecstatic. Ice Bear says, “This is the best thing to happen to Ice Bear” and they all agree.  Panda finds money in the pocket. Grizz gets three high fives in a row. Ice Bear finds coupons for salsa dancing lessons.

The rain stops. Streetlights go their way. Pizza bagels are on sale. A cash opens up at the grocery store and they are first in line. But when the jacket’s curse is revealed, it operates on the same level. They each want the jacket for themselves and end up fighting. Joss Whedon’s We Bare Bears would straight up have killed one of them, but instead Panda accidentally punches his own face.

They realize, ‘We’re not wearing this jacket. This jacket is wearing us. We have to get rid of it.” The temptations the jacket uses to try to get them to take it back are things like pizza mistakenly delivered to their house. All of which are stakes and consequences appropriate to the situation. We Bare Bears is about critters and people mostly trying their best and screwing up sometimes. It is a pretty gentle cartoon, though there are both shenanigans and hijinx. It seems to me that in its own way going the chill and gentle route can be more avant-garde than another manic cartoon.

*I see a little Tokyo Drifter in the part where Ice Bear is silhouetted in red, too.

**There is a thing here where I talk a bit about the Prime Directive and the ways that it is kind of butts, but we have bears to discuss.

***This is a more complicated calculation when Panda goes bad in “Braces.”

~~~

Carol Borden isn’t going to lie. She kind of covets that jean jacket.

Ice Bear is Best Bear At first it was the way the bears were stacked atop each other that appealed to me.

[badgersinthesky]

Redemption

“I’ll show them.” the girl muttered as she marched up the stairs, barely missing a disappearing step here and a shifting staircase there. Only one thing kept her mind occupied on her every spiraling ascent as she stomped towards her destination, wand grasped firmly in hand. Redemption. “Those smug little yuppies. We’ll see who has the last laugh this time.” She marched along an empty hallway, ears deaf to the amused mutters that followed her as she stalked past half-asleep portraits, suits or armor clinking as they watched her pass. “Susan Adelaide Hawthorne is not a coward!” A chicken? Without a doubt. As she finally came to her destination, Susan faltered outside of the door, her hand stopping in midair as she reached for the brass handle of the door. Something wasn’t quite right here…..surely she would have encountered some kind of resistance, after all. She hadn’t exactly been alone when she was taunted with the challenge. Of course…. She narrowed her eyes and let her hand drop, the door bursting open as she wordlessly unlocked it, the resistance she had been expecting standing in front of her target. “It’s no use Alex, I’m doing this whether you want me to or not.” The Slytherin crossed her arms across her chest as the shorter Hufflepuff entered the room, the door snapping shut with a soft click. She squared her shoulders and narrowed her own eyes, keeping her spot in front of the shaking wardrobe. “Sky, this is silly. You don’t have to prove yourself to those losers.” “Yes I do!” Susan said with an exasperated sigh, stopping her attempts in rolling her sleeves up. “You don’t know what it’s like to follow in someone’s footsteps! Well, you kinda do….but this is different!!” she growled lightly as she wrenched her left sleeve all the way up, avoiding the exasperated look her friend was throwing at her. “Willow was amazing!! And gorgeous, and pretty, and popular, and brilliant. And I’m….not.” “That’s a lie and you know it. You’re the only third year I know that can already do both wandless and nonverbal magic. Most seventh years have a hard time with that! Even Minerva is just now getting and handle on it, Sky!” “Yeah well……..I’m a Metamorphmagus, Al. I’ve already got the concentration part down, so really it’s not that much of an achievement.” Finally having rolled the sleeves of her top up satisfactorily, she squared her own shoulders and cleared her throat. “Alright, you better get out of my way. Those mean Slytherin boys challenged me to take out the boggart in that wardrobe behind you, and I intend to do it. Now move.” “No.” “Yes.” “Alex.” “Sky.” Susan puffed out her chest and squared her jaw, glaring at her friend defiantly. “Alexandria-” Alex let her arms drop to her sides, jaw dropping in shock as she let out an indignant gasp. “You wouldn’t dare!” “Callysto-” “Susan!” “MacPhearson! Get your tall booty out of my way!” Alex sniffed disdainfully and stalked away from the trembling wardrobe, moving to stand next to her friend. She crossed her arms across her chest once more, eyeing the blonde next to her ruefully. “Fine. But if you get eaten, don’t come crying to me.” “Oh stop it. Alright,” Susan gulped nervously, the confidence she had been feeling the entire way up to this very room beginning to dwindle the longer she stood there, staring at the shaking piece of furniture. With a deep breath she raised her trembling wand before her and pointed it at the wooden door. “Here goes nothing!” The door burst open with a loud CRASH, and the most terrifying clown one could imagine crawled out of the wardrobe. It cocked its head to the side and grinned a menacing smile as it slowly stood to it’s full height and began tiptoeing towards the girls. Susan’s mouth dropped open in a silent scream, her eyes open wide in terror as the thing slowly got nearer to them. If she hadn’t of been gripping the handle of her wand so tightly, she would have dropped it right away. As perturbed at her friend as she was, Alex couldn’t possibly stay mad at her for long. While she herself wasn’t afraid of clowns, she had to admit; that thing coming at them was pretty creepy. “Sky, it isn’t real, remember?” “Like hell it isn’t!” she said incredulously, fighting every instinct she had that was telling her to turn tail and run. “Sky it’s just a creature, yeah? It’s only a critter taking form of the thing you fear most. It’s not a clown.” “It’s not a clown.” she repeated in a quiet, trembling voice. “It’s just a critter. You love critter’s, remember?” “It’s just a critter.” “That’s right! You’ve totally got this! All you have to do, is imagine it less scary. You are not a coward! You is strong, you is important! You have the heart of a lion, and the literal soul of a honey badger. Honey badger’s don’t take any crap from anyone!!” “Not a clown, just a critter. Got it.” she continued in her small voice, bracing herself once more. “Not a clown, just a critter, not a clown, just a critter….. Heart of a lion, soul of a badger. Heart of a lion soul of a badger. Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee, float like a butterfly….. Imagine it less scary! Less scary… Scary…... “ she gasped all of a sudden, her eyes becoming even wider. “WHAT IF-” With a pop the clown boggart sprouted eight massive spider legs, an evil giggle leaving it’s throat as it gnashed its sharp teeth and skittered even closer. “ALEX IT GOT WORSE.” Susan shrieked shrilly, her wand clattering to the wooden floor beneath them. “IT’S WORSE IT’S WORSE IT’S WORSE; I’M A COWARD, ALWAYS A COWARD. FORGET IT!” “You’re not a coward, you’re just a chicken!” Alex said in exasperation, shoving her flailing friend out of the way to stand in the path of the advancing spider clown. “Move it or we’re gonna be here all night.” With another pop Pennywise was gone to be replaced by a grungy porcelain doll, the eyes open wide and fixated on them. “Dolls? Really? You’re scared of a doll?” Susan said at once, her own terror immediately forgotten as she arched an eyebrow at her friend. “They’re creepy, alright?!” Alex hissed through her teeth, resisting the urge to shudder as she stared at her boggart in disbelief. “Those eyes follow you around the room, no matter where….you’re….” as she shifted her weight to her right foot, she could’ve sworn she saw the eyes shift with her, but chalked it up to the flickering candle light. Until she moved again, and the eyes followed her once more. “NOPE.” Susan said with a yell. She darted forward and kicked out at the doll, catching the toy and sending it flying back towards the wardrobe. It landed with its back towards them, and Susan let out a triumphant whoop. “See, now it’s not so bad!! At least now it’s eyes aren- WAAAH!” Both Alex and Susan screamed at the same time as the doll’s head slowly turned around to face them, wide, unseeing eyes glued to their flailing bodies as they both turned tail and ran, deciding then and there that they were both chickens. In their mad scramble for the door they hadn’t realized that a third person now stood in the room with them, one dark eyebrow quirked and a foot tapping in disbelief. “What in the frilly hell is going on in here?” Minerva asked incredulously, the sixth year eyeing the two third years skeptically. A series of inaudible screams and yells was all that could be discerned, the two frantically pointing at the boggart doll behind them as they moved to hide behind the older girl. Minerva shook her head in disbelief as she approached the boggart, taking out her wand as she did so and sighing heavily. “You two….” With another loud POP the boggart shifted for a third time, the doll being replaced by a dark, menacing looking man that Susan recognized to be Lord Voldemort. The soft gasp next to her drew her eyes towards the Gryffindor, Minerva having taken a step back, her throat bobbing up and down as she nervously gulped. While she had never seen the girl of her dreams this scared before, she couldn’t help but scoff. “Seriously? Him? You’re scared of Moldy Voldy?!” “S-susan, he was the most evil and powerful wizard of his time!” Minerva said incredulously, unable to tear her eyes away from the menacing figure. “Only a fool wouldn’t be terrified of him!” “Minerva,” Susan said just as incredulously, putting herself in between the girl and the boggart, waving her hand carelessly behind her. “He doesn’t even have a nose! What’s so scary about that?! Besides, he’s been dead for like, ever, now!” The Voldemort boggart laughed evilly and began its advance on the three, though Susan had finally managed to find her courage once more. She spun around on her heel and snapped peevishly, a zipper appearing over Voldemort’s mouth. “Hush, now! The adults are talking.” “OH, oh Susan!! Put him in a flashy dress and a wig!” “Ooooh you mean like Jessica Rabbit?!” “Who? What, no! Just something flashy!” “You Brits.” Susan tsked impatiently, giggling madly as another series of pops erupted around them, the boggart Voldemort now complete with a flashy, pink sequined dress and a long wig. “Alright darling, beautiful!! Now work it it, come on now Voldy don’t leave me hanging! Strut your stuff, girl!” Minerva dissolved into laughter with her friends as the boggart danced around in a circle, a completely and utterly bewildered look on Voldemort’s face. “Yaaaaas Queen, now strike that pose!” Susan snapped and swung her hips to the side, the boggart doing the same. Alex laughed so hard she snorted, holding her sides for dear life as she gasped for air. “Susan this is ridiculous!” “No, you mean it’s Riddikulus!!!” she shouted the incantation aloud, the boggart exploding into thousands of tiny wisps of smoke, and disappeared. She did a little victory dance before she skipped towards the door, beckoning for the other two to follow her. “Come on fellow chickens, let’s get out of here.” “Whatever, I’m not a chicken.” Minerva said with a derisive sniff, the door shutting behind them as the three strode out nonchalantly into the deserted corridor. “You were whimpering, Minerva McGonagall!” “Yeah, well, you two scream like girls!” “So what, we are girls!” “At least your middle name isn’t Ca-” “Don’t you dare!” Amid the laughter and bickering, the three friends finally began their descent down the spiral staircase, at least one of them ready to admit that they would always be a chicken. But never, a coward.