#I just kinda assumed they went on the honeymoon at some point

[colinfeatherington]

girl what is up with kanthony and traveling

[rainedroptalks]

i would love to hear about the evil bad books

HI MURPH I NEED TO SCREAM ABOUT THIS

(Alos I deleted this on my first try by accident lmao)

So there’s two, both by the same author, and I haven’t finished either. Ones called “twisted love” if that’s any indication of the vibe

So the first one! It’s about divorce! I have fully forgotten the name, but the main characters were called Alessandra and Dominic. I’m gonna call them A and D for my own sake

So these two met in college, A’s a nepo baby and D’s in here with a scholarship, he was poor growing up (also he has a brother who I fully forgot was part of the plot the first time I wrote this). He has dyslexia, so he is having trouble passing one of his classes, so his only good professor gives him the info of another student who does tutoring. It’s A. The two of them do the tutoring thing (which is honestly kinda cute. Fig you had no context for what happens later). D passes his exams and eventually the two begin dating, and then get married. At 23. Bad idea but okay

In the story, the two have been married for 10 years. D is now this super rich capitalist guy with a big company. He’s also a terrible boss. A has been basically his trophy wife for the past decade and the relationship is deteriorating. He forgets everything, doesn’t listen to her and constantly assumes how she feels. She doesn’t ever communicate how she feels so the marriage is going bad. They tried doing marriage counseling once but he fully forgot and she had to sit in that office making excuses for him while the counselor just looked at her with pity. He came home from work and didn’t even apologize for not showing up.

The final straw for her is their 10th anniversary. The two planned a trip to where their honeymoon happened (I think) and she reminded him like 3 times before he went to work. Would you be shocked if it turned out he forgot. Would you

She waits for ages and calls him multiple times. He doesn’t answer. She gets so pissed that she gets the bag she packed for the trip, puts her wedding ring on a table and leaves. When D gets home he starts looking for her and sees the packed bags. Finally he remembers and starts being an asshole to the maid about where A went. She says that A left. He starts worrying, not cuz he realizes he was a duck but because he’s super rich and thinks someone might hurt her to hurt him or smth.

Meanwhile A’s doing fine, she’s just at a hotel. The next morning she calls him, tells him her location and then hangs up before he can say anything. He shows up and here we see he doesn’t think of anything he’s done as wrong. “I’ll just book a new trip” SHUT UP!!! Anyway at the end of this she says she wants a divorce. This is like. Chapter 4

A goes to move in with a friend. She also realizes that she gave up a lot of her life to this dude, that she only has 3 friends and no life. The friend helps her out, and also gives her an ornate knife that she can stab her (ex)husband with. It was wrapped like a present. She’s so cool. Also D’s refusing to sign the papers so she gets a divorce lawyer.

At some point, D goes out with his friends for a business thing (what’s new), 2 of which are married to two of A’s friends. So they know. They awkwardly bring it up and he says something like “oh A’s just upset, she won’t actually go through with it.” And the one of his friends calls him a piece of shit and that if he treated his own wife like that even once she’d leave him forever. A’s had to deal with his bullshit for 10 years. Finally D realizes he sucks (not when his wife tells him though. He had to have his friends tell him. He doesn’t respect his wife)

So this begins the saga of him harassing her to show that “he still loves her”. He sends flowers. He follows her to a club. He threatens to beat up some guy who was flirting with her. Also the first sex scene happens here (I was not expecting that I was trying to stop myself from laughing in the library lol). In a bathroom. In a club bathroom. That’s… unsanitary, right?

Later there’s a party or something I dunno and he sees his estranged older brother here. Someone also dies here! Some old rich guy I don’t care. A’s here with her friends and she’s in shock from seeing a dead guy so D takes her home. They do the sex thing again. In the morning, he sees her trying to leave while he was sleeping and has the AUDACITY to get mad. The two start arguing and A starts crying. D realizes he broke this completely and agrees to sign the divorce papers then and there. The two are officially divorced

So next A goes on vacation. Her brother is in um. I don’t remember but it was in South America I believe, so she joins him. She gets a one way ticket. D finds out AND HE GETS A FLIGHT THERE TOO. FUCKING WEIRDO!!! She tries to ignore him but she thinks “Wow. D never goes away from his business things… maybe he really does care about me” AND GIRL THAT IS THE DEVIL SPEAKING. THE DEVIL

Then her mother calls, telling her that she’s getting married (again) and it’s in two days. What the fuck is happening. A and her brother have no fucking clue how to get there in two days and D offers his private jet he has (have we mentioned he’s rich yet? He’s rich) to take them. So apparently A’s mom is a model/actress/I don’t remember and she’s had a ton of failed relationships so A does not think this’ll last. Anyway, at the wedding, she hears the vows and starts tearing up cuz it reminds her of her own wedding and how wrong everything went. D tries to talk to her after the wedding, but her brother stops him and essentially says “Hey man you’re a friend to me but she’s my sister. And you clearly fucked this up. Leave her alone.” Anyway he doesn’t do this and A FUCKING FORGIVES HIM IN A CONVERSATION. Well, not fully. She agrees to try starting again, but also that they’re not married anymore and that she’s allowed to date and do things like that without him bitching about it.

The friend who gave her the knife is devastated at this news when A gets back. She can see this going so so wrong. Also the whole time in the background A’s been trying to open a flower shop or something like that, and the dude who owns the property she wants to use is apparently super and super nice, so the two go on a date. This was before the mothers wedding and the whole trip, and D shows up at the restaurant. He was actually there for something else, so he wasn’t stalking her this time. Anyway the other dudes fine I don’t remember him much. He wears flannels.

So that’s where I left off. I swear I’ll finish that book someday

The other one I barely read but it was about this 22 year old girl. Her name was Ava, and her brothers going away for a school thing. He’s super worried about her cuz apparently something happened when she was younger so he’s protective of her or whatever.

Also the book opens with her being stranded in the rain. Her brothers going away party is soon and she hasn’t picked up the cake yet. So she calls him and he picks up and tells her one of his friends borrowed his car. He tells her he’ll send the friend to pick her up. I would love you to guess what he’s doing during the call. IF YOU GUESSED THAT HE WAS HAVING SEX BEFORE PICKING UP HER CALL AND HE DID NOT LEAVE THE ROOM AND SITUATION BEFORE TALKING TO HIS SISTER then you’d be right!

So the dude who picks her up is this totally cool and mysterious friend of her brothers and also he’s an asshole. They get to the party and the best character shows up, Ava’s super hot best friend. She hates Ava’s brother apparently. She’s so cool

So the brother asks his friend (whose name I don’t care to remember) to watch over Ava while hes gone. He interprets this as “be super weird and controlling despite the fact you barely know this girl”. Anyway Ava should be dating her friend she comforts her every time she wake up from a night terror, even though she’s busy with law school. Ava’s friend is the perfect woman

Anyway that’s all! Sorry for the super long and rambly post I just have a lot of opinions. If there’s spelling mistakes I’m sorry I don’t have the energy to fix them

[razorblade180]

RWBY Vol9 Ep2 Review

I’m gonna say this right now, and maybe my opinion on this will change by the end. At the rate this is going, I kinda hope we’re in this place for two volumes. It’s a complex feeling but more on that later.

You know I was one of those people who kinda missed how Lindsay Jones voiced Ruby in earlier volumes; it’s a real double edged sword that we’re getting a little bit of that because Ruby’s depressed. 💀

Strangely enough, this volume feels more whimsical than its been in a very long time. Not just in setting, but a bit of dialogue and the way they’re making them move. RWBY honestly feels like it’s acting more anime than it’s ever been in this regard. Though I’m sure part of the reason for this is because of the state of their production. I don’t dislike it but it’s definitely odd given the circumstances. The characters so far look the best they ever had though.

Very happy Weiss talked about having no home and saying “we didn’t handle right at all.” She even goes as far as to say hopefully their friends overcame the chaos of the situation and her team’s performance. I wish this conversation was a little longer and I absolutely wish Blake and Yang were included. If I have one fear it’s that the show keeps cutting them out of important moments like this in favor of honeymoon moments.

This is just a really good moment.

Didn’t take too many pictures of the auction but it’s definitely worth mentioning that it’s pretty interesting Yang was asked what is love and she had no answer. She didn’t even begin to formulate one. Also, this volume has given her back some of her carefree and happy demeanor, which makes sense considering she thought she was dead and alone; anyone would perk up after realizing that’s not it, but she also feels in a certain way…less mature? Like she was very quick to just try the most destructive way to solve the problem in a way not even Vol1 Yang wouldn’t do outright.

Perhaps that’s the point, making each RWBY character personify a part of Alex’s (Alice) flaws in the book that leads to the consequences for the book to progress

I’m shocked how quickly Ruby gave up the sword. I feel like she might definitely blow up somehow. The team is kinda checking in on her and aware she’s upset, but so far it feels like all of them aren’t trying to go too deep. Like there’s a scene where there’s a little laughter and jokes going on and Ruby is just staring at the sword. My hope is it’s highlighting that none are exactly on the same page.

Ruby being sad makes it rain. Hopefully all of them will pick up on that before a full blown storm happens. The episode ends with them trying to see the Red Prince, is what I assume his name will be. I’m definitely intrigued in where this goes.

Definitely sorting my feelings about all of this, it feels as if the show is giving me what I want, but only surface layer before running off to the next point and I’m going “wait we just started talking. 😅”

Also, this isn’t a gripe or anything, and I’m sure this is a hindsight moment, but I do find it a little strange they had Oscar mention this book last volume, and not someone who was going to fall. Granted, we know Ruby and Yang were read bedtime stories and Blake loves reading; I can even see why Weiss has heard of it, but I did find it a little strange when they all basically went “Oh yeah of course we know all about this book.” Like…sure? That’s fine, I guess it only feels strange because at no point was this ever brought up.

I wouldn’t even need much. We were in Weiss’s house and three of them were together waiting for Penny to wake up. Ruby could’ve saw it on a bookshelf and grabbed it; surprised that a household so far removed from her life style had a story Yang and Summer read to her. Blake mentions she likes that book and Weiss does her Weiss thing by saying “You do know a rich child still a child, right? Even Winter grew up reading that.” All while Ruby is too busy thinking about her own sister, and we transition to being stuck in the tundra.

(I don’t know why I made this whole scenario. I swear it doesn’t actually bug me in the grand scheme of things. 😂)

[mortalheartache]

I would have put this in the comments because I don’t want to draw attention with a reblog but Tumblr is stinky and has a word limit + I don’t wanna bother you with 10 thousand notifs when I send the next part.

I’ll keep this brief and kinda vague because I value my own privacy and want to maintain yours because you’re deserving of that. I think I’ll respond to things individually.

On the “not speaking to me” point, I sent you an Insta DM a couple days ago and haven’t gotten a response from what I recall. I spoke in the group chat with your boyfriend 2 (?) days ago, but I was too tired to respond to what you said because I had other stuff on my mind. I’ve tried to reach out with more lighthearted things.

Uhh, about the being active on discord thing, I am but I’m also in servers with stuff for college, IRL friends and hangouts, stuff like that.

I think saying ‘oh so busy’ was a little snotty and unneeded. I am rather busy. I have school to worry about, family stuff, home, irl relationships, etc. No to mention, my mom is in the psych ward/is having intense health (mental and physical problems) which you have known about for months. That’s taken a large toll on me, even if I don’t talk about it often. I like to keep my real life and online life seperate, and don’t want to burden friends with my home problems because I like speaking to friends as a form of escapism.

I’ve reached out to you a lot, in my perspective. I don’t want to bother people by reaching out, all my friends can attest to that. I rarely say “hi” or something like that at random times because it’s not how I communicate. It isn’t a personal or malicious thing. In fact, I’d consider myself as someone who does that more often with you since we’re long distance friends which makes mundane interactions all the more important.

The important things you’ve messaged me about that I’ve ignored weren’t life or death in my opinion, the last thing I ignored was about not asking a mutual of mine why he blocked you. I think that would be awkward to ask, which I did express (albeit after the fact, which is my own fault and I accept that).

My boyfriend and I have been together for like 2 weeks. It’s still a honeymoon phase, so yes we talk a lot. He and I are getting closer together. We don’t text super often, though, and have only been together in person twice. I’d like to add that when I told you about him, you said you had a bad feeling of some sort, which I tried to accept and keep in mind. You also don’t know him, and I’ve known him for ~2 years as high school acquaintances. I don’t tell you every detail of my personal life, so it’s understandable that maybe you are wary of him.

I genuinely do appreciate the criticism, I just wish it had come at an earlier time. I wouldn’t say ‘selfish’ is the right word, maybe ‘preoccupied’. Granted I am biased in my own favor. I tried to help you with your social media following (won’t go into detail, but I’m assuming you know what I mean), and you said nobody had ever done something like that before besides your mother. I spent a long time thinking about you and trying to help you.

I’m thankful you cared for my wellbeing, I simply feel it was in ways that weren’t helpful to me. Fretting about my boyfriend is reasonable, but then getting upset and shutting down when I tell you it went well is a reaction that turned me off to talking to you about my life problems, out of fear you’d be upset if I didn’t take your advice.

I’m sorry things seemed to have ended this way, and I’m sorry I couldn’t provide what you needed in a friendship. I do truly wish you well, this isn’t for the whole public thing or looking good to others. You’re a sweet girl, you’re pretty and kind and one of the most deeply caring and intensely involved souls I’ve met. I wish you the best.

When did we have a falling out what? Why is this a public thing hello I’ve been off tumblr for like a week for personal reasons I’m so confused

You haven't spoken to me in, what, a couple of weeks or so? I tell you something important and you completely ignore it and ramble about something else, acting like I'm not even in the chat with you. You're active on discord all the time but can't even take a minute or two out of your "oh so busy" day to send a quick 'hello' or ask how I am, when I would do it all the time for you. I'm sick of being disregarded. Even if I told you this privately, you wouldn't respond to it, as I've seen numerous times. You only want to speak to me when you want my attention. You get with a guy and all of a sudden I don't exist.

I'm tired of giving my all to you when you don't give me jack shit in return. You're selfish, and I'm not going to let you drain me anymore. I spent so much time worrying about you, checking in on you, and every time I asked how you were, you couldn't give less of a shit that I was concerned for your wellbeing. That's alright, though. You don't have to worry about me bothering you anymore.

[moreaugriffins]

The uneventful life of Silas

Part 1

Just kinda wanted to write some lighter stuff about Silas and his fmaily, so.. what better way to do that than go back to his childhood (through his parent’s eyes)

Also, ngl, despite Silas’ parents not making an appearance in our game, and Silas never really mentioning them, I just.. I love them. They’re sweethearts.

Anyway

Story

Right

————

30 years ago, a newly wedded couple bought themselves a worn down cottage out in the countryside, having always wanted a quiet peaceful home to live in.

“Isn’t this just wonderful!” Theron exclaimed, as they walked towards the house,”we can have have a wonderful garden here, and grow some vines to climb up the sides of the house, oh, and-“

“Calm down calm down,” Eliana chuckled, trying to catch up to Theron who had practically ran ahead,”let’s settle in before we make plans.”

Theron stopped by the door, turning to look at their wife, and smiled bashfully,”right, sorry.”

“Always so excited.” She shook her head, not even bothering to hide her smile,”can’t blame you.. finally, a home for ourselves.”

Eliana reached Theron, and quickly kissed them. Theron pouted, the kiss wasn’t long enough for them, so they put their hands on Eliana’s waist and pulled her in for a long, undoubtedly heated kiss.

The couple did, as people would expect, what most couples did during their honeymoon, so I don’t need to explain it.

25 years ago, Eliana finally gave birth, after many hours of pain and screaming. Theron has been by her side the whole time, as the midwife from the nearby village, helped her through the whole process.

It was scary for Theron, to watch their wife in pain, they couldn't help but worry about if they could pull through (and their child). Luckily, one angry scream from her, cursing the gods names, and Theron’s, reassured them that their wife was going to be fine. Lords know that she will beat the gods up if they try to take her away.

“A baby boy.” The midwife announced, cutting the umbilical cord, before handing the child to Eliana.

The couple smiled, finally seeing their baby. He had Theron’s black hair, and pale skin, but Eliana’s brown eyes. They assumed he also had Eliana’s calmness, as he did not cry once like they expected he would.

Theron stroked Eliana’s hair,”what should we name him?”

She closed her eyes, leaning into their touch, and she took a moment to think about it.

“How about Silas?”

“Sounds perfect.”

23 years ago, the couple sat in front of their child.

“Mama, come on, you can say that.”

“No no, say ren!”

They had been at it for about half an hour, trying to get their son to say his first words, but all they’ve managed to get, was a blank stare back, and the occasional chuckle when Theron decided to dramatically flop onto the sofa, saying something that neither Silas nor Eliana could hear.

Eventually the couple gave up for the day, and went about their normal routines, keeping an eye on Silas, who had started to walk around not all that long ago.

He kept making his way towards the flowers trying to grab at them, much to Theron’s silent annoyance. Babies want to grab onto anything and everything, sure, but their beautiful flowers? They are not getting ruined, not on their watch.

Theron walked towards Silas, to move him away from the flowers, only to pause, hearing the baby saying something.

“F’ow’r.. flow’r..”

Silas looked up at Theron, eyes wide, as he pointed at the flowers in the vase.

Theron did what any sensible parent would do.. they picked up silas and ran to their wife, to brag about their child’s first words.

[hazbincalifornia]

Choice

Chapter 24:  Blitzo goes back to work.

Warnings: As always, mpreg, and an IMP death relating to hanging.

Likes, replies, and reblogs are all appreciated, both here and on ao3!

Ao3 link

“Welcome back, Blitzo!” Millie smiled from her seat atop Loona’s desk as Blitzo threw the door to the office open. “I know it’s only been a couple of days, but I’m sure it-”

“Millz, love you to death, but put a sock in it before I do it for you,” he growled, eyes narrow and fists clenched tighter than a politician’s asshole as he chucked his already-drained iced coffee cup into the trash. Loona shuffled in behind him and dropped on the couch, pointedly focusing on her phone screen.

“Geez, who whizzed in your cereal? Something happen?” Millie blinked, bouncing herself up a bit on her seat to keep at his eye level. “Can we help?”

Moxxie emerged from Blitzo's office, shuffling papers. “We’ve managed the cases so far just fine, but I need you to sign off on-”

“You can sign my-” Blitzo sucked in a deep breath, pinching his forehead before letting it out. “Fine, everything’s fine.”

Moxxie raised an eyebrow. “I take it something went wrong. That, or you’re just sex-hungover. That can happen, you know-”

Millie cut him off with a click of her tongue, and his mouth snapped shut. “Moxxie, we don’t need the honeymoon story, I think somethin’s really wrong. He looks all slumpy, like a willow-weed in the r-”

“Can both of you lay off? I don't need the tag-team act right now.” Blitzo wove around Moxxie and his pile of paperwork to enter his office- the one that Moxxie shouldn't have been gallivanting in and out of. “You two deal with the client, I just really, really want to fucking shoot something, so tell me when the deal’s done, alright?”

Millie sucked in her cheek and Moxxie glanced over to her before his eyes flicked back to Blitzo, whose fingers twitched before he slammed the door in their faces.

_______________________

Three sharp knocks on the door. “Sir? It’s time to go, unless you want us to work by ourselves again. We’re more than capable-”

“No, I’m up, I’m up.” Blitzo scrubbed at his eyes- any attempts to fall asleep at his desk and make up for the complete lack of any kind of rest last night had been thoroughly thwarted by his brain going at a hundred miles an hour. (The coffee wasn’t to blame. Probably. He’d fallen asleep on way more than the piddly single one he’d downed in the past.) Mostly, it had been wanting to throttle Stolas mixed with wanting to throttle himself, and then imagining rapidly escalating scenarios of where he might be able to chuck the kid once they popped out. (Currently, he was at ‘trying to slingshot them up to Heaven just to see what they’d do with it.’ In all likelihood, it’d be crucifix batting practice.)

“It’s one that the client said might be suicidal, but she seemed quite self-important and thought that her boyfriend wouldn’t be able to live without her anyway, so I wouldn’t trust that.” The chair creaked as Blitzo got up, but if it was because it was a couple years old and salvaged from the back of the circus’s dump or because of the deadweight around his gut that had officially turned his shirt into a crop top was anybody’s guess. 

As he entered the main room, Moxxie was rubbing a cloth over the musical note on the side of his gun, and Millie fussed with a length of rope while humming to herself.

“I’unno sugar, the client said he was kinda hefty…”

“We have other options if it breaks, and clients often exaggerate that sort of thing. Besides, it just needs to hold him long enough to snap the neck, or at least asphyxiate him. Then they’ll just assume it broke after he died.”

“I’m just saying, it’s more cleanup.”

“Well, this is the kind of rope they can usually get topside, so I say we- oh, good, you’re here.” Moxxie pointed to the paper piled up on the coffee table. “I already did all the hard bits, I just need your signature.”

“Right, right. Signature. Got it. Then we get to go kill something, right?”

Moxxie glanced over at Millie, and the look they exchanged passed way more information than Blitzo’d ever be able to parse. Must be a marriage thing. Must be nice, too. Being able to know what each other was thinking and shit. Real useful.

“Yeah, hun, then we can go kill something. Nothing like some good ol’ violence to get the blood pumping, right?” Millie smiled as Blitzo dashed off a loopy B on each of the papers. Most of them were bills, a few were paychecks that he’d probably just forgotten in the mess of the past few months since Moxxie would know better than to try and slip extras in since it would destroy the budget anyway, there was one approving the repairs for the fire, right, right, this was why he let Moxxie handle all the boring shit, at least it was easy to just sign the dotted line- there. Done.

Blitzo cracked his knuckles, tail snapping in mid-air. “Right! Let’s go fuck somebody up!”

“There we go!” Millie gave a little laugh, punching his arm as Moxxie picked up the Grimoire and opened to the right page before drawing the circle with his free hand. Loona was still settled on the couch behind him, nursing a sports drink from the fridge and half-watching the three of them, head tilted slightly.

Moxxie nodded to the portal, setting the book down on the desk. “Right behind you, sir.”

____________________

The guy didn’t even fight back when they woke him up and strung him up. What a wuss. Hangings were usually fun since they squirmed and made funny noises while trying to break free if the neck didn't snap when the chair dropped, but it wasn’t nearly bloody enough for Blitzo’s taste today. Oh, sure, he’d clawed at the rope that had manufactured nylon sharp enough to carve out blood from under his nails, but his face was purpling at a rapid rate, so they probably didn’t have to do anything other than let gravity finish the job for them, especially considering his kicks were starting to slow anyway.

“You want to go watch some wrestling death-matches when we get back home? I heard they’re bringing the Big Boar in, he’s some sinner who was a lucador back in life. That’ll get some of that killer instinct out.” Millie gave a playful growl as she rummaged around in the target’s belongings. Blitzo watched her hips waggle for a moment before she made a little ‘hmmph’ at a pin-up cowgirl calendar.

“Hmm… tempting, Millz, tempting.”

“Pride wrestling’s more like good ol’ fashioned blood sport, especially when they get the guys that can regenerate limbs!” She ground her fist into her palm with an intense look. Moxxie rolled his eyes as Blitzo leaned against the wall.

“Pl-ease… sa...ve..” the human wheezed out before Moxxie poked at his stomach, and he coughed up blood directly on the little imp before falling limp. Moxxie grimaced, using the man’s somewhat-sweaty bedsheet nearby to clean himself off.

“Perhaps you could invite his highness? I remember him saying something about-”

“Nope,”  Blitzo snapped out immediately. “Not gonna fuckin’ happen.”

Moxxie raised an eyebrow, dropping the sheets. “It was just a suggestion, sir. Had too much of him over the past few days?”

“You could say that,” Blitzo muttered, a hand resting on his stomach, and Millie's eyes softened.

“Aw, you could have said something. He ride you too hard?”

The fingers curled inwards, claws dragging above the surface and lighting it up red, forcing him away from his own skin. “Something along those lines, yeah. You two can drop this anytime, you know.”

“Well, at least the little one will be out of your hair soon,” Moxxie said. “Just a few more months, then I would imagine it’s just visitations now and then. You said that you’d already discussed things with him about custody, right?”

Blitzo swallowed, the hand raising up from his belly to rub at the back of his neck. “So, er, about that-”

The wood groaned as Moxxie took a step forward. “No. You didn’t.”

“Come on, Moxx, he was drooling over it, how the fuck was I supposed to know he wanted me to-”

Moxxie threw up his hands. “What have I told you? To think about what you’re doing! What do you do? Throw yourself-”

“Oh, you think this is my fault?”

“Of course it’s your fault!” Moxxie folded his arms. “What did I say when you were considering keeping it? That it was going to be a big responsibility! You barely can call Loona civilized and she’s somehow a legal adult, what in the seven rings would you fuck up if you had to raise an actual child?”

“Exactly! I don’t fucking want to!” Blitzo spat out with enough venom to make Moxxie’s fingers tighten on his arms. “That’s the point, I thought this was just going to be for a couple of months and then yeah, maybe getting to see them now and then wouldn't suck the worst ass if they turn out cool, but I’ve got other shit to do! I’m a busy guy, and I’d definitely fuck it-”

“Blitzo…” Millie reached out a hand before curling it into a loose fist in midair. “Hun, I’m sorry.”

“Yes. Thank you, Millie.”

“Although…” She gnawed on her lip for a moment, and he groaned.

“Don’t you start-”

“Why did you adopt Loona then? I’m genuinely wonderin’, that’s all. You love her to bits, why’s this different? If you hadn’t done that I wouldn’t be askin’, but… you like being a dad.”

“I…” He trailed off. There was a scuttering in the wall behind him, like a roach or some other grimy-grody pest, and a chill drilled down the vertebrae of his spine as a shiver ran through his bones. Why was the sweat dripping down his side cold, like condensation on the side of a frozen water bottle? Damned drafty house. “I wanted to be there for somebody, somebody that I chose to be, and that won't-" He cleared his throat, shaking his head to start over. "Anyway, she’s a good kid who's figuring her shit out and I like hanging out with her. I'm glad to be her dad. That's different."

“Why would this be so bad, then?” Millie repeated. 

Blitzo scoffed. “ ‘Cause I got Loona when she was older and I had to go through a buncha bullshit to sign the papers instead of just getting nutted in and having it sprung on me? That was an active effort, and teenagers are basically an entirely different species from babies, I’ve only had to clean up her shit a couple of times-”

“Did not need to know that,” Moxxie muttered.

“-Shut up Moxxie, but anyway, point is, Loonie was already walking and talking and has her own tastes and shit, most babies are just worthless little parasites until they’re, like, ten. I was a fuckin’ miserable little thing to deal with according to literally fucking everybody, so why the fuck would I want to inflict that on myself when I can help somebody that’s already gotten through most of the annoying phase? Plus, her sense of fashion kicks ass. Babies can't pick you out dope outfits." His tail snaked up and tapped his shoulder. "Point to me, excellent reasoning.”

“She’s still your daughter, and you still have to deal with a lot from-” Millie tried to continue, but Blitzo held up a hand.

“Look, it’s just different, okay? The apartment’s crowded enough. I’ll figure this out somehow.”

“...If you’re sure,” Millie said, shifting her weight on the creaky floorboards. “How did the prince take it?”

“Ugh, you really think I want to get deep into his little wah-wah I-thought-you-knew bullshittery?” Blitzo snorted. “I don’t give a shit what he thinks, he should have been upfront about the fact that I was going to be ruining both me and the squirt’s life instead of just being a fuckin’ incubator for cash. End of story.”

There was a nudge from inside of him that was much sharper than usual, and Blitzo’s eyes snapped down.

“Did you just fuckin’ bite me?”

[avengersassemble-fics]

New Perspective

part 05/?? “your last bruise”

masterlist

previous part // next part

word count 3.5k

an: im kinda happy about this part. idk to me it’s just kinda beautiful?? that sounds narcissistic but what can I say I was semi drunk and emotional

James Buchanan Barnes knew from the moment his eyes landed on the woman who walked through the quad and knocked the wind out of him, that that was who he was going to marry. If she agreed of course. He spent the next few weeks building the courage to even speak to the nameless beauty he saw nearly every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. It took him well into the Fall semester to say anything, and of course his first interaction with you was rushed apologies since he basically rammed into you at a frat party. And consequently spilled yours, and his drink all over you.

Even at the rehearsal dinner before the wedding, his brother made it a point to remind Bucky about that night. Though everyone laughed, and he forced a smile and sipped at the wine before him, you were sure to grip onto his hand under the table and he looked over at you to see the twinkle in your eye. Bucky caught himself staring as his brother continued, looking over your glowing skin, your perfectly placed hair, the pout in your lips, and the smooth skin your off the shoulder dress exposed. You seemed to catch a glimpse of him from the corner of your eye and you turned to him and smiled. Bucky brought your hand that covered his own up to his lips and pressed a slow kiss to your fingers, quiet aww’s filling the room as he did so.

At the reception, Bucky watched as you danced with some of his (now yours too) nieces. He rubbed the ring around his finger, it warmed his skin and felt perfect. The whole day and now night was perfect. You were perfect under the glow of the dark and colorful lights, laughing as you danced in circles with the children and Bucky sat there with a smile on his lips. You glanced over at him and he winked, and he watched as you excused yourself with kisses to the girls foreheads before you lifted your dress a bit and walked back over to him. Your shoulders moved in a way that showed every bit of muscle, and the sweet spots that Bucky often nibbled on, and Bucky opened his arms as you sat yourself onto his lap. His hands trailed over your stomach to your back, one hand resting on your thigh that crossed under your dress, and he closed his eyes at the feeling of your fingers running into his hair behind his neck.

“Mr. Barnes,” you had nearly whispered into his ear. “I never knew you to tire so easily.”

“Oh I promise you, I’m not tired Mrs. Barnes,” he responded. He opened his eyes to look up at you and smiled a bit. “Just wanted to watch the most beautiful woman I know enjoy herself.”

One of your hands came forward to glide over his cheek. Your thumb trailed near his chin and he made a point to press a soft kiss against it. “Wouldn’t you rather watch up close?”

You had scratched against the nape of his neck and he groaned a bit, bringing you closer so he could press sweet kisses, and nibble gently on your neck. You giggled at his sentiment and squirmed in his lap when you had felt his hot breath against your ear. “God I fucking love you.”

Bucky Barnes had the perfect life. Marriage was truly wonderful. After the honeymoon the search for the first home you’d share together was first on the list. Neither of you had planned on living together with your two friends, Natasha and Wanda, but after graduating Bucky didn’t want to be separated from your side. So when you both entered the prospective apartment, he knew right away not only by the look on your face, but seeing it for himself that this was going to be it. Your first place together, just the two of you.

Of course until a child came along.

You had managed to turn the empty apartment into a home. Everyday, Bucky got through his work load by looking forward to getting home to you. And the days he got to leave early and you were the one to be staying late, some days he’d either be the one waiting for you, or he’d grab takeout and join you at your job. He’d sneak into your office and when you’d return he’d have it all placed out on the floor neatly, and be there with a smile. There were a number of times you’d sit together, you in between his legs, and he’d stay until you were ready to go home.

So.. Where did it all go wrong?

In all honesty, there was nothing wrong with the marriage. Everything Bucky told Steve wasn’t entirely true. Looking back now, he knew it had started when you left your job. After that, you were either at home with him, or while he was at work you would go and see your friends from time to time. But it turned into a routine, and one that he slowly started to despise. There was no reason.. Well there was one but he shouldn’t have.. God he shouldn’t have done what he did. He shouldn’t have held that against you. Neither of you had any control over what was happening.. And now as he sat alone nursing the whiskey in his hand, alone in the unnecessary penthouse he bought for him and Connie (who left after he decided to end things) he went over every painstaking detail in his mind.

When you sat there on the other couch months ago when Bucky and Connie returned home from lunch, you knocked the wind out of him just like all those years ago. It was a fleeting moment as he had his eyes downcasted, tossing his keys onto the table by the front door, and Connie rambled on about something he wasn’t paying attention to. When she stopped speaking and he followed her gaze to the living room, there you were standing up to meet him. He was struck with awe, until Connie piped up behind him.

“What are you doing here?”

You had glanced between her and then back to Bucky. Your eyes held a wetness in them and you seemed to swallow what he assumed was a lump in the back of your throat. “I came to talk to Buck--”

You paused, and Bucky’s face fell a bit when you corrected yourself. “I came to talk to James.”

“Buck,” Connie whispered behind him. He looked over his shoulder and met her gaze, which was narrow and spiteful. He glanced back at you and nodded a bit to himself. “Go upstairs, Connie.”

“But--”

“Go upstairs.. Please.”

He could practically feel her eyes staring at the back of his head, but after a few seconds she moved around him, making it a note to stomp up the stairs, down the hall, and slam the door shut. Bucky held your gaze, neither dared to blink until silence fell between them. He took a couple steps forward to the living room and you shifted a bit, both watching one another as he slowly undid his cuffs and slid his jacket off his body. As he walked into the living room he rested his jacket onto the back of a couch, and he motioned for you to sit, and nearly in sync you both sat on the same couch, on separate ends from one another.

Bucky watched as you rubbed your hands together and looked around these foreign surroundings, practically looking everywhere but at him. He knew something was weighing on you, something important, because you would have never stepped foot in here if it wasn’t a good cause. He knew you well enough to see the flushed cheeks, nervous movements, and carefully he edged closer without you noticing, until he could place a hand over yours, and you froze almost immediately.

“(Y/N).. What’s going on?” He asked quietly. You looked from his hand over yours, up his arm to his face. You searched his eyes for something, searched his face and just him for some kind of clarification. Your lips moved to speak but nothing came out, so Bucky lifted his hands, both his flesh and his prosthetic, to engulf your face, using his thumbs to glide over your soft and familiar skin. Bucky felt his heart swell when your eyes closed at his touch, taking a shaky breath in and leaning into the palm of his false hand. “You can tell me anything.. Please--”

“I’m pregnant,” you whispered. Though Bucky still kept his hands on your face, his thumb stopped stroking you. When you opened your eyes to meet his, he must have had a shocked expression on his face. Because he was just that: shocked. In awe. Dumbfounded even. He didn’t have any words to offer, and your lip trembled just slightly. “Please say something.”

“You’re pregnant,” he repeated in a whisper back to you. When you nodded in the palms of his hand Bucky smiled, he couldn’t help but adjust himself so he could face you more, running his hand down your face as he rummaged over your revelation. You smiled at him, and he brought you in for an embrace.

Bucky was going to be a father. You were going to be a mother. Just like you had both talked about for years at that point. As his hand laced into your hair, and your hands ran across his back, he looked up with tears in his eyes and his gaze landed on Connie, who stood silently on the runway that overlooked the living room. Her glare was evident, staring at him like she was condemning him to something.

Maybe he had done that to himself already.

Bucky separated from you and when you saw his fallen expression, he smiled solemnly at you. “You’ll be a great mother.”

He stood from his position, walking over the shelf that held all of his alcohol. He suddenly felt the need to down something, and he felt your eyes burning into him. He poured a nice hefty dose of whiskey, and threw it back with no problem. He heard you shuffle up, you must have been standing now. “This is what we wanted Buck..”

“This is what you wanted,” he countered. His throat burned at the lie, his eyes were soon to follow, he knew it. He heard you take a couple steps forward.

“Bucky.. James, I--”

“Don’t you fucking get it?” He snapped, turning around to face you. Your mouth closed, holding back what he could assume was a cry. He had to force the awful expression onto his face and narrowed his glare. “There is no you and me anymore. Just you.. And I don’t want a part of this.”

Bucky felt his heart break that day. He knew what his lie had done to you, the tears that slid down your cheeks and the tearful goodbye you gave him. He thought about it everyday after, and when he got the call from the hospital.. He was devastated. When Steve told him to leave, when he learned about Steve’s feelings, Bucky thinks it snapped him out of it. He was angry at himself for being a fucking idiot, he was angry his best friend had fallen for the person Bucky had fallen for too, and even more upset that he couldn’t be there with you. For you. You deserved that at least.

Here he was, in the early hours of the morning he was trying to drown himself in his own thoughts. It wasn’t working, even his third drink in, he was only pulled from his memories when there was a knock on his door. He grumbled a bit, he had been ignoring Steve’s messages for two weeks now, and he made his way over to the door, pulling it open and ready to toss the liquid at his so-called-friend.

But what stood before him made him freeze.

You stood there, hands shoved into a jacket and stood in a position ready to bolt if he hadn’t opened the door. But when you two came face to face you faced him straight-on, and offered a nod. “James..”

“(Y/N).. Hey, uh.. What are you doing here?” He asked, hiding the cup behind the wooden door and you glanced down to your feet.

“Well I was hoping we could talk, actually.”

His heart fluttered. Bucky didn’t hesitate offering a nod and muttering and of course, not to sound too desperate. He stepped to the side and you carefully entered, painfully aware of what happened the last time you were in this place. The deeper into his territory you walked, Bucky was quick to hide the glass on the kitchen counter out of sight. He followed you and you two sat in a similar position on the same couch from a couple months before, on opposite ends and in silence. Bucky cleared his throat, leaning forward to rest his arms on his legs.

“Would you like a, uh, drink? Water?”

“No, I’m fine.. I’m not staying long,” you replied. Bucky nodded a bit.

“Oh,” was all he could seem to say. You watched him, now he was the one sitting there, rubbing his hands together. You looked down at your own before you were able to pull your thoughts together.

“I know I shouldn’t really be here, what with us starting our hearings soon but.. But there was something I was hoping we could settle just between us.. Without the lawyers,” you said. Bucky had looked over to watch you speak, and nodded along with you.

“Of course. Anything for you,” Bucky said.

You had caught the notion, the reference back to another time when it held a much more sincere meaning. You looked back down to your own hands and let out a quiet sigh. “I.. I want to give up the lease on the apartment.. But since we both signed it, we both have to be there to put in the 30 day notice. Sign the papers and all.”

Bucky blinked at you, his mind whirling at your request. “(Y/N).. You love that place. Why.. Why would you want to leave?”

You smiled a bit to yourself, but to Bucky it was sad. You finally looked over at him, and shook your head. “I can’t be there anymore, Buck.. That was our home. Where we were supposed to build a family and.. And that’s not happening anymore.. You moved on, Buck, but.. But it’s time I had a chance to do that too. And I can’t do that there, not when you’re everywhere that I look.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Bucky listened to your words and felt his throat burn the more you continued. But now that he heard you bare your soul and heart to him, all he could do was apologize. “Whenever you need me to be there.. I’ll be there.”

“Why d-didn’t you come.. Why didn’t you come and see me and the baby?”

It was so quiet it made him stretch to try and hear you. He was closer, close enough to grab ahold of your shaky hands but he didn’t dare to. He was going to answer when a knock on his door forced him to stop and sigh. He excused himself and stood, stomping just a bit to the front door to see who the hell was interrupting this tender moment, and pulled it open and was nearly pushed to the side.

Well would you fucking look at that.

“I gotta talk to you, Buck,” Steve said, pushing past Bucky into the penthouse. Bucky stared after him, Steve turning on the ball of his feet and backing up deeper and deeper into an already fucked situation. “You’ve been ignoring me and god damn it I need to say my--”

Steve spun around to face the living room and froze in his place. When you heard the familiar voice, you stood and stared dumbfounded to see your.. Well you didn’t know what to call him frankly, but you stared at him, Steve stared at you, and Bucky closed the front door and shuffled over to the both of them.

“--peace,” Steve finally finished. He was struck in awe, shock, his heart pounded hard enough he could feel it in his ears. Steve promptly closed his mouth, and Bucky crossed his arms as he came up to his pal’s side.

“Steve?” You asked. Of course it was him but you blinked and motioned between the two men before you. “You two know each other?”

Before Steve could answer, Buck nodded and took a step forward. “Oh did he never tell you he was my best friend? Supposed to be the best man at our wedding?”

Your attention went from Bucky after he finished speaking to Steve and gaped a bit before your brows furrowed in confusion. “You were.. You were the best friend I never met, who moved away before we got engaged.. Steve that was you?”

“Yes,” Steve whispered. Your eyes looked over him, now put together like the Steve you had met what seemed so long ago. But you started to shake your head in denial, and Steve took a couple steps closer to you. “Please.. Please listen to me, angel--”

“Don’t call me that,” you interjected. Steve stopped in his tracks, close enough to where he towered over you, and he swallowed the lump forming in his throats. This close he could see your eyes water, and see the betrayal that stared back at him. “What was all that.. Pity? You did all that for.. For fucking pity?”

Steve, as well as Bucky who watched on, had never seen you so angry. Disappointed. Maybe even betrayed. With Steve you shared a part of yourself in your darkest of times, and in your eyes it was all a ruse. A faked friendship or whatever it was turning into. Steve shook his head, and tried to take another step closer.

“I swear to you.. I didn’t know at first,” Steve tried to reason. You stood there, not moving as he edged closer, holding his gaze before he came to a stop before you. Steve slowly reached his hand out to cup your cheek and your breath hitched. Bucky’s eyes narrowed at the sight behind them. “I didn’t put it together until he showed up at the hospital and--”

“What do you mean showed up at the hospital?” You asked. Steve stopped his explanation and could see your brows furrow again in confusion. You looked behind him at Bucky who still stood with his arms crossed, but a soft expression when you looked his way. “Bucky you came?”

“Of course I came,” Bucky said. Your attention went back to Steve, and calmly reached up and took his hand off your skin. Stever started to shake his head, but you beat him to speak first.

“Steve did you stop him from seeing me?”

It was a simple question, but Steve still felt his hands get sweaty in anticipation and nervousness. You had released his hand, looking at him with those fucking eyes he knew he couldn’t resist and he slowly nodded. “Yes.. Yes I guess I did.. But I thought it would be better if.. If he wasn’t there! It had hit me everything he had said about you and--”

“Stop,” you told him. Steve’s expression fell when he saw your eyes water. Your eyes shifted over his face and you grimaced a fake smile to stop your bottom lip from trembling. “That wasn’t your decision to make Steve.”

“I know.. I know it wasn’t and I’m so sorry about that.. But I just.. I care about you. More than I’ve cared about anyone in a long time. You made me feel like me again and I--”

“Please don’t,” you whispered. A couple tears had slid down your cheeks, and Steve stopped immediately. His confession was edging more into your heart and you couldn’t take it right now. He didn’t dare reach out to wipe the tears that rolled down your cheeks, he had to watch as you disappeared around him. When you were out of his view, his eyes fell down to the floor, feeling a tear fall down his face and into his beard.

“I’ll let you know when to come sign the papers,” you said to Bucky. Bucky had lightly placed a hand to your lower back, escorting you to the door and nodded at your departing comment. When the door closed behind you, and he was now alone with his best friend, he turned back around to face the angry stare of Steve.

Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes were about to have the test of a lifetime in regards to their friendship.

- - - - - - - - - - -

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[laurent-ofvere]

TSP anon: I wish they were both Kings in TSP. I wish Damen was a host in full sense of it (Akielon custom), and he was the one waiting for Laurent to come. I wish that scene was reversed and its in Laurents character to ride horse fast to get there. The bath scene was unnecessary imo, the scars/slavery were already addressed in TCT. The heat atmosphere was wasted without them swimming naked in the sea ugh. I wish they talked more about future rather than the past. Overall it could be better.

let me preface that those are all your opinions and you’re obviously entitled to them, so this isn't me negating them or anything like that, just saying my own takes on what you pointed out:

I dont really care that they both arent kings yet, I even kinda like that temporary imbalance where laurent is still /just/ a prince and damen is the king (can’t really say why tho, I just enjoy the idea of it) it also makes sense for the chronology of things. if laurent was the king then it would have been more than a year since the end of the books, and I think its clear that pacat wanted to instill that feeling of newness to a relationship in the short story - something else I enjoyed about it. in the grand scheme of things they know each other so well at this point, but in other ways theyre still only getting to know each other.

I personally like that it was laurent waiting for damen, the idea of laurent being at damens territory first and greeting him rather the traditional dynamic of a host greeting their guest is charming to me. I enjoy the thought of laurent there alone while he takes it all in, imagining the times damen had already been there and what it will be like to be there with him now when he finally arrives. I also liked the image of damen breaking off from the group to get to him and laurent watching the road restlessly waiting for him. to me theyre both dong the same thing here, its just in a way that matches their character. theyre both impatient to be together again, damen is more obvious and straightforward about it where a lot of what laurent does is understated but not less meaningful.

like i said before, the bath scene was touchy. I dont think it was unnecessary, I was comfortable with it and I found a purpose to it but I understand that that wasn't the case for everyone. there was an interview after kings rising came out and when asked if laurent’s abuse would be discussed, she responded that some of the issues that were still up in the air would be touched on and that there was a bit of unexplored territory that she wanted to go into. what laurent went through with his uncle is not something between him and damen, what laurent did to damen in arles is so I understood the need to tie that loose end (again, I really dont remember this all that well and know I had pretty extensive thoughts on this bit, but thats just an idea of it) (also, what is TCT?)

silly thing for me to be like “and another thing!” lol but it was only the first few hours of their week long stay, damen made the internal comment about taking laurent swimming so there's no doubt in my mind they’d do that. I would assume they would regardless but he fully pointed it out so that didn't strike me as lacking I guess.

overall, I hear what you mean about it being about the past rather the future but for me that just wasn't what I feel it needed to be. it was very close to the end of canon, it was a honeymoon vibe and a vacation of sorts, they needed time to be in a little bubble just about them and thats how it read to me. they tied up some loose ends and then enjoyed each other in the now, and after this reprieve Is over they would take strides for their future - which we do see in the adventures of charls short story.

sooo idk, just my own thoughts 💖

[kay-diggle]

Choices

Summary: You have a decision to make about your relationship with Hoseok.

Pairing: Hoseok x Female Reader, Established Relationship

Genre & Rating: Angst & Smut, 18+

Warnings: Jealousy, kinda-cheating, a little alcohol consumption, mentions of toxic relationship, protected sex, unprotected sex (pls use protection guys!), slight overstimulation, shower sex, dom!hoseok, kinda switch!reader, two sex scenes

Length: 4.1k words

Notes: HELLOOOO!! So, I guess you can kinda say I'm on a semi-hiatus, but this idea came to me so randomly and I couldn't not write it.Plus I’m so happy that I’ve finally written something for our sunshine, Hobi!! This is my first time doing angst so I don't really know how good it'll be, but nevertheless I hope you guys enjoy it! Also, I kind of had an idea of how I could turn this into a series, so let me know if you’d be into that!! {Requests are closed at the moment.}

Kay-Diggle’s Masterlist

This fic is currently unedited.

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You and your boyfriend Hoseok had been dating for the past three years. At first, he was everything you had ever wanted and your relationship was perfect. It was like a never ending honeymoon phase for the first two years and a half. There were the constant butterflies, elaborate dates, heart felt conversations, and great sex. But over the past six months, the butterflies in your stomach fluttered less, the dates became nonexistent and the heartfelt conversations morphed into intense arguments. The one aspect of your relationship that remained the same was the sex, except now it only came when you were angry and needed to fuck each other’s brains out to release some of the tension.

Needless to say, your relationship with Hoseok seemed to be going downhill, fast. Every friend you vented to assured you that it was just a “rough patch” and the two of you would eventually get over it and go back to normal. But it had already been six months, and eventually wasn’t coming fast enough. It was hard coming to terms with it, but you were no longer happy.

And tonight was your final straw.

Your friend group which included the mutual friends that you shared with Hoseok decided to go out tonight. You were hesitant at first, not wanting to give them a first hand look at how your relationship was falling apart, but you decided that you would be able to play it off for one night. Oh boy were you wrong.

Everything was going well at first. You and Hoseok kind of avoided each other, and you followed your girlfriends to the dance floor. Twerking, grinding on each other, and just feeling the beat of the music move through your body, you were actually having a good time. It had been a while since you were this carefree, mind not clouded with the thoughts of the impending doom of your relationship.

That was until you felt sweat dripping down your neck and decided it was time to walk away for a moment and cool off. You had a smile on your face when you ordered your drink and took the first sip, but as you looked in the corner of the club across from you, your drink slowly dropped from your lips, along with your smile.

There you saw Hoseok leaning against the wall, drink in hand, while some random girl was desperately grinding her ass all over him. The sight made you sick, yet you found yourself being unable to look away. Hoseok looked like he was having a good time, guiding the girl with one hand on her hip while grinding against her himself. You couldn’t even say you were shocked when she turned around, wrapped her arms around his neck, and pulled him into a kiss.

You weren’t shocked, but you were definitely hurt. You couldn’t believe that he would let another girl dance on him with you and all of your friends present, couldn’t believe that he would even entertain her. But what hurt you the most was seeing the minimal amount of effort he used to push her away. He seemed very reluctant, as if he only stopped her because he felt he had to but really didn’t want to.

Within seconds, you felt tears beginning to well in your eyes, and you couldn’t control it. The crack in your heart that had been developing within the past six months had expanded.

You watched as Hoseok looked through the crowd, presumably for you. When his eyes found yours and saw your tear stained cheeks, he frowned. He knew he fucked up.

Wordlessly, you picked up your bag and walked out, not even bothering to say goodbye to him or any of your friends. You thought he would chase you, assuming he actually cared that much, so when you stepped outside, you hopped in the first cab you could find and went back to your shared apartment. You needed time to think.

You were awarded 15 minutes that you spent crying, until Hoseok got home. You heard him running through your place, calling out for you until he opened the bedroom door and found you sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Y/n….. sweetheart, I can explain.”

“No thanks,” you mumbled a response.

“So, you’re not even going to let me defend myself now?” he scoffed.

“No Hoseok,” you sighed. “I’m not. There’s no point. We both know that whenever one of us tries to explain or defend ourselves, we end up fighting. And the last thing I want to do right now is fight with you. There’s no need for a pointless argument tonight.”

He was truly surprised. Usually, you’d be giving him hell right now, cursing him out, throwing things at him and the like. He didn’t understand why you were backing down so easily.

And then he looked at you, really looked at you. Your face looked defeated, eyes tired. You looked so unhappy and the only thing he wanted to do in that moment was fix that.

Dropping to his knees at your feet, he placed his hands on your thighs, drawing your attention there and then to his face.

“Y/n? Baby, I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry that I hurt you. She meant nothing. That kiss meant noth-”  

“Stop,” you cringed. “Hoseok, I just told you I don’t want to hear it. I mean it.”

“Well, what can I do to make this right, to make you feel better?”

You sighed again. Right now, you didn’t think there was anything to do. You had never felt like this before, so hopeless and out of touch. But if there was something that was going to make you feel even remotely better, you knew what it was.

You grabbed Hoseok’s hands and rose from the bed, prompting him to stand with you.

“You can fuck me like you hate me.”

A look of surprise overtook and nervousness overtook his face. He couldn’t tell the motive behind your request, especially with such a vulgar description, and that in itself had him worried.

“Baby, are you sure that’s something we should do right now? We should talk first.”

You rolled your eyes. “Hoseok, what are you not understanding. I. DON’T WANT TO TALK. Now you can either fuck me or get out. Your choice.”

With the attitude behind your words and your tone of voice, Hoseok realized this was serious, you were serious. And with a terrible feeling blooming in his chest, he went against his better judgement and gave into your demands.

Bending down, he placed his lips on yours slowly, too slowly for your liking. At first you were disgusted, the thought that someone else had just been kissing him less than an hour ago lingering in the back of your head, but you pushed all thoughts aside. You needed him tonight.

Jumping up and wrapping your legs around his torso without your lips disconnecting, Hoseok laid you down in a sea of pillows, hovering over you. He noticed how you were being more needy than usually, hungrily kissing him and rubbing your pelvis against his. He however, was in the opposite mood tonight, trying to kiss you with passion while slowly letting his hands travel the expanse of your body. This only served to annoy you.

Breaking away from the kiss with a grunt, you pushed him up so that he was sitting on his knees.

“What part of ‘fuck me like you hate me’ did you not understand Hoseok?” you said before pulling your shirt off your head.

You pushed his jacket off of his shoulders, letting it land somewhere on the floor before your hands traveled down his body. You were able to unbuckle his belt before you felt him roughly push your body back onto your back. When you looked at him again, you saw the darkness in his eyes and it only made you more excited to know that he wanted you too.

He took the belt out of the loops of his leather jeans before throwing it without care and bending down to capture your lips with his once more. With him being closer, you took this as the chance to start unbuttoning his white shirt. However, it was taking too long and once you were halfway done, you just ripped the rest of his shirt open, fabric torn with buttons flying everywhere.

“Y/n….” he growled out your name, obviously annoyed that you just ruined his perfectly good shirt.

“Sorry,” you breathed out. “Just not in the mood to take things slowly tonight.”

And with that, you kissed him again, undressing each other with a much more rushed pace now.

While Hoseok was busy leaving marks on your neck, one of your hands traveled to the nightstand of your bed, pulling out a loose condom package and shutting the dresser, startling him. You wasted no time in flipping you both over so that you were on top, hands traveling down his chest for a moment before hastily using your teeth to rip open the condom package. You threw the empty package on the floor and proceeded to roll it down his length, using a bit more pressure than needed which had your boyfriend biting down hard on his lip.

You lined him up to your entrance, and slowly slid down until your ass hit his pelvis, taking in his entire length. You hadn’t been prepped, but you were so wet that the stretch was more than bearable. His breath hitched when he felt your walls squeezing him so tightly and his hands took to grabbing at your waist. You took a moment to adjust to the feeling and then completely caught Hoseok off guard when you began bouncing on his dick at a fast pace. It hurt, but there was pleasure underneath the pain so you continued to push through. It became easier when you placed your hands on his chest and leaned over, giving him better access to thrust his hips up to meet yours as you continued to ride him as if your life depended on it while his hands guided your hips.

Your room was filled with the sound of skin slapping against skin, the headboard continuously hitting the wall, and the vulgar curse words leaving both of your mouths. Everything became so much more intense when Hoseok moved his hands from your body and to your face, moving your hair out of the way and cupping your face, forcing you to stare into his eyes.

“Fuck Y/n,” he groaned out. The only thing you could do was moan in response.

You switched from riding him to slowly swiveling your hips against him, stimulating your clit and bringing you closer to your orgasm. As you did so, Hoseok made sure to continue with little thrusts into you until you were ready to ride him again. When you continued, he slightly moved underneath you, angling his hips perfectly. You were tightening against him, a tell tale sign that you were close to your end, and he wanted to help. Removing one hand from your face, he took a moment to stare at your breasts that were moving with your bounces. Leaning forward, he took a nipple into your mouth, causing you to let out a broken moan. His teeth grazed it, then nibbled before he began sucking.

Using two fingers from his other hand, he placed them in your mouth, prompting you to suck them. Once you got them nice and wet with your spit, his hand traveled to the place where your bodies were connecting, leaving a trail of wetness, and he rubbed on your swollen clit. The added pleasure had you crying out for him.

“Hoseok, fuckkkkkk.” You couldn’t even look at him, closing your eyes and tilting your head back. You were definitely going to lose it soon and he was determined to get you through it.

“Nuh uh,” he said, letting your nipple fall out of his mouth. “Open your eyes y/n.”

“Can’t…. Ugh GOD, you feel so fucking good with your dick inside me.”

You felt his hand that wasn’t occupied toying around with your clit wrap around your throat and squeeze at the sides, effectively cutting off some of your air supply.

“Now, open your eyes and look at me while I fuck you… mmhh.. While I make you cum around this cock that you love so much. Open them,” he demanded.

At this point, you felt that you had no choice but to listen. He watched as your eyelids fluttered open, dark as ever and filled with nothing but lust. When he made a slight movement in the angle of his hips, that did it for you.

You let out a choked scream when you felt your orgasm move through your body. It was so intense that it had you feeling weak but empowered at the same time, bouncing even harder on Hoseok’s dick. When it passed through, your legs were shaking and your walls were pulsating and convulsing all around Hoseok’s sensitive cock. He was extremely close.

He let go of his hold on your neck, but before you could even breath in a whiff of air, he turned you over onto your back, just as you had did to him before and entered your throbbing cavern once again. His thrusts were hard and punishing and the overstimulation had you wincing in a little pain. But not before long, Hoseok’s thrusts were becoming sloppy and less calculated, rushing for his release. You used your hands to push his sweat soaken hair out of his eyes and lightly cupped his face all while you used your hips to fuck him back.

“You need to cum Hobi,” the nickname you hadn’t called him in forever slipped out. “Cum for me.”

“Fuck y/n. Ugh you’re so fucking tight, so wet. God, I love fucking you.”

You looked away from him for a moment. His words triggered something inside of you that you couldn’t explain. The word ‘fucking’ between the ‘“I love” and “you” had you bothered. Hoseok didn’t seem to catch on though, as he pushed your hips down to completely still you and thrusted inside as deep as he could. He let out a drawn out moan, and you felt his hot load spill into the condom, indicating that he reached his end as well. He held his weight up, hovering over you, but continued to lean down and give your shoulder a light kiss before rolling over and lying on his back. You watch him for a second as he discarded the soiled condom before announcing that you were going to take a shower.

After using the restroom, you turned on the water and waited for it to heat up. Once it was to your liking, you got in and stood there for a moment, letting the hot water drip down your body while you thought everything over. You knew you should’ve listened to Hoseok and talked about the situation before having sex. You knew that if you tried to bring it up now, it would only make matters worse because you ignored him when he wanted to work it out and instead requested that he fuck you. You didn’t know what came over you, but what you did know was that you had a decision to make.

You were so preoccupied in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice him join you in the shower. You jumped slightly when he put his hands on your shoulders and immediately moved to scrub your body, as if you were disgusted by his touch. You moved closer to the shower head, creating distance between the two of you to Hoseok’s dislike. He scoffed and pulled you back towards him, hands wrapping around your waist in an attempt to make peace.

“Let go of me Hoseok. You’re in my way,” you pushed his arms off of you in a less than nice way.

He gripped your arm and turned you around to face him, a slightly annoyed look on his face.

“Is this still about earlier? I said I’m sorry Y/n.”

“Yea well, when you break something and say ‘sorry’ to it, does it magically become fixed? Didn’t think so.”

“It’s not even that big of a deal. She kissed me and I walked away. End of story,” he shrugged it off, grabbing his soap and starting to clean himself off as well.

And then you exploded. “No big deal? What the fuck Hoseok. You shouldn’t have even been dancing with her in the first place. All of our friends were there. Do you know how embarrassing it was to see you openly dancing with some random bitch in the club when I, your girlfriend, was less than twenty feet away. How heartbroken I was because of it?” When you felt your eyes filing with tears again, you had to turn away from him and go back to washing.

“Y/n, I’m telling you it wasn’t that serious.”

“So why were you dancing with her in the first place? An honest answer….” you turned back to him.

“I… “ he sighed. I did it because I knew it would bother you,” he admitted but quickly added “but I didn’t know she’d kiss me, honestly.”

The only thing you could do was look at him in disbelief.

“Wow… so you did something to deliberately hurt me? Do you even realize how toxic that is Hoseok? How toxic we’ve become?”

“We’re not toxic,” he shook his head in denial.

“Hoseok, we can’t even hold a regular conversation for five minutes without finding something to argue about. And the only time we’re not down each other’s throats is when we’re having sex. That is definitely toxic. We’re toxic together,” you sighed, feeling defeated once again when you came to the realization.

“Y/n, you can’t be serious,” he went to grab for you again but you deflected, moving as far away from him as your shower could allow.

“Just leave me alone, Hoseok. Seriously.”

“You know what Y/n? If you keep pushing me away like this, you will lose me. For good,” he threatened.

“Oh my god,” you let out a bitter laugh. “I’VE ALREADY LOST YOU HOSEOK,” you couldn’t help but raise your voice. You looked down at your feet and added a quiet, “we both know it. Somewhere down the line we lost each other.”

But Hoseok refused to believe it. He didn’t want to. He knew things weren’t as great right now, but he didn’t know how you truly felt. He just wanted to fix everything he helped ruin between the two of you.

Moving closer to your figure, his hands reached behind you to stroke your back while he looked down into your eyes. “So maybe we can find each other again, y/n.”

“I don’t know Hoseok…” you trailed off, avoiding his eyes.

“Well I’m not going down without a fight. I love you, Y/n. I don’t want to lose you baby.”

That made the dam break, tears escaping your eyes — tears he rushed to kiss away. His hands traveled to your hips when he leaned down to kiss you. Different from the rushed exchange you shared earlier, this was passionate and detailed, filled with everything you were feeling but couldn’t say to one another.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, bringing your body closer to his when he pushed you against the glass wall of your shower. You felt yourself becoming quickly aroused once again, moaning out into his mouth.

“Hoseok please…” you whined, hoping he would understand what you wanted. And he did.

Not long after, you felt him lifting your leg off the floor to hook it around his waist, holding it there while his other hand was on your hip, pressing you against the glass. You reached down, stroking his half hard cock in your hand while kissing and sucking down his wet neck. He let out small moans directly in your ear, turning you on even more.

Once he was fully hard, he directed you to push him inside of you. You both let out a moan at the feeling. You were happy to be filled up again, while he was just happy to have you with him. He was taking his time with you this time, slowly pulling out and pushing back in, allowing you to feel everything. It was the exact opposite of what you two had done less than twenty minutes ago.

Hoseok grinded his hips up into you slowly, and with purpose. Every stroke only served to bring you closer to your impending orgasm. Going at a slower pace allowed Hoseok to really feel everything, including the tight grip your pussy had on his dick that damn near had him crying out. It was almost hard to move inside of you but it felt so good, the pleasure causing him to close his eyes.

You on the other hand couldn’t help but stare at him. He felt so good inside of you, it was hard to control yourself when you raked your fingers down his back, leaving red marks while he hissed. The water cascading down onto the both of you only added to your pleasure as it occasionally hit your more than swollen clit. It was getting so hot in there that you felt like you could barely breathe.

“Hose- ugh.. Baby I’m gonna cum soon.”

“Are you? Is my little baby going to cum all over my cock again? Hmm,” he began to stroke all over your body before his hand ultimately found its way to your clit again.

“Yes, ugh all over your cock. I’m gonna soak it…. My god you fuck me so good.”

Suddenly, he removed the hand that was holding up your leg and let it travel to hold your neck from behind, forcing the eye contact.

“Do it baby, cum on me. I wanna feel your juices spill all over me.”

His words, his thrusts, his fingers, they were all affecting you in ways you would never be able to explain. When he changed the angle of his hips, he found the spot that would ruin you and repeatedly pushed into it.

You cried out his name when your back arched from the wall and you began convulsing on his dick again. Everything about this orgasm just seemed to be way better than the first time. Your legs were shaking uncontrollably, so he lifted both of them off the floor and wrapped them around his waist so he could continue to fuck you through it. When you finally came down from your high, you noticed his intense stare and looked back at him with the same intensity.

You tightened around his cock unexpectedly, pushing him closer to his orgasm once more. His grip on your thighs tightened as his grunts and groans became louder. With a few more quick thrusts, he came inside of you, pushing himself deeper and holding you to the wall with his body. His head fell onto your shoulder as he tried to catch his breath after his orgasm, and it didn’t help that the shower was hot and now completely stuffy.

When you were both feeling stable again, he let you back down to the floor and kissed you.

“I love you y/n,” and you lightly smiled into the kiss before breaking away.

“I love you too.”

He carried you out of the shower and back to bed, where he continued to fuck you into the early hours of the morning. It was like you couldn’t get enough of each other, but you had to call it quits at some point before your bodies gave out due to exhaustion.

And as you laid on your backs, side to side and staring at the ceiling, your thoughts clouded your mind. They were the same thoughts that had been crossing your mind for a while; thoughts you had more frequently than you ever would’ve liked. And after tonight, even though you were scared to say them out loud, they were thoughts you could no longer ignore.

“Hoseok?”

“Yes y/n?”

“We need to break up,” you whispered just loud enough for him to hear before you drifted off to sleep.

––––––

A week later, there were boxes all over your apartment. At first they were empty, then they were filled with all of his stuff, and then they were gone. And so was he.

You knew he was willing to work it out. But you didn’t truly know if you were or if really wanted to. And so as you were sitting on your couch, you were left to contemplate whether you had made your best decision yet, or your worst mistake.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #388

“i wanna stay inside all day  /  i want the world to go away  /  i want blood, guts, and chocolate cake  /  i wanna be a real fake”

Name three people who you'll never forget: I doubt I'd forget Jason even if, God forbid, I had dementia. That's trauma for ya. I HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHLY doubt I could EVER forget my mom, either. In many different ways, she's literally kept me alive and has done so, so much for me. Then there's also Sara, whose friendship with me matches no one else I've been friends with. Have you ever been told you are fake? No. What was the name of the last pet of yours that died? Teddy, my dog. Do you like pineapple? I do. When was the last time you wished the day would just get over with? I know this sounds seriously depressing, but that's... pretty much every day. My life is just currently such a drag that being awake bores me senseless. But it's funny, because then some nights I stay up late for like... no reason. My existence alone is confusing. Is there any specific number that has any significance to you? No. Do you remember much from high school? I remember a lot from high school. Where would you go for the ultimate honeymoon? Isn't there a black sand beach in Iceland or something? Take me there, man. I'd also love to go to the Bahamas, but ew humidity and also I'm afraid of the Bermuda Triangle lmfao. If you had to get a tattoo tomorrow, what would you get? The big piece I want to get on my left upper arm; it's called "Denialism" by NukeRooster on deviantART. I got her permission forever ago to get it tattooed. Do you have any alarms set? What time and what for? Not currently. Have you ever had to work while there was a film crew at your work place? No. Have you ever supported anyone’s Kickstarter? If so, what was it? No. What do you like in your omelet? Ham pieces and cheese. Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit aren't getting my business. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes. Most notably a video game I LOOOOVED as a kid. I was mad salty and still am lmao. Do you vent a lot on social media? God no, not anymore after embarrassing the everliving FUCK out of myself with a suicide note. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I don't pay any bills bc unemployed. .-. Do you watch ASMR videos? No. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? The Trevor Project. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. A psychiatrist I had in middle school thought I had ADHD, which was ABSOLUTELY ludicrous. Most recently, my long-time bipolar 2 diagnosis has been questioned, but I do think I have it. I think. Does it bother you when others don’t share the same religious beliefs as you? No? Freedom of religion is a thing. What was your last argument about? Ummmm... I don't remember. Probably something with Mom. Have you found your first gray hairs yet? No. Somehow. You'd think all the stress would have me pure gray by now, lol. What are the names of all the pets you’ve had? Dude, I've had WAY too many for this. What’s the most you’ve ever spent on a cosmetic or skincare product? *shrug* Who was the last person that invited you to go somewhere? Did you accept? Mom invited me to come with her to Nicole's to get out of the house because at the time our A/C was still out. I didn't want to go, even though damn did I suffer, haha. What was the last food item that you toasted, other than bread? That's... a great question. I don't know if I toast anything other than bread. Have you ever named any of your pets after a cartoon character? I remember I had a cat named Taz when I was younger. What was the last thing that someone else recommended, or suggested you try? My TMS doctor is like SUPER friendly and makes the treatment go by so fast (it's exactly 22 minutes and 30 seconds; don't ask why), and recently she was fangirling to Mom and me about the show Once Upon a Time, haha. I saw very little of it with Jason, but Mom did check it out. When was the last time you wore a hat? What kind? I have zero idea. When was the last time you ate a bowl of ice-cream? What flavour? Oh wow, it's been a long time. It was probably vanilla with chocolate syrup? If you menstruate, has your cycle ever synced with anyone close to you? Yes. Tell me something positive about the town or city that you live in. ... You said "positive," right? Did your parents have high expectations for you to excel in school and go to college/university? Yes. They were pretty serious about going to college when my sisters and I were younger, but they opened up to the concept that maybe it wasn't for all of us (coughmecough). Are you a polite person? I genuinely think I am. I definitely try to be. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything with your partner felt natural and effortless? Sigh. Yeah. Have you ever been in a relationship where everything was difficult and rocky? No. That's not the kind I'd stay in very long at all. I mean yes, there are always bumps, but there comes a point where you gotta say fuck nah and find something better. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? Other than keeping age gaps in mind, no. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? My childhood home was suburban, but leaned towards rural. We were on the very edge of the town. Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? After seeing my mother suffer from borderline stage 4 ovarian cancer, I've gotta say cancer. My mother is the strongest person I know and yet she cried so frequently from chemotherapy. It broke my fucking heart. The person I copied the survey from mentioned especially childhood cancers, and I have to agree. Like just... why. "Everything happens for a reason." Bull. Fucking. Shit. Just TRY and convince me why a young child has to deal with CANCER. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? I still don't have my license, as I've said in many a survey before. What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Being on the computer too much. What is your biological sex? Female. Do you use online dating? Or do you use another method for finding dates? Nah. I'm at the point in my life where I wanna let love just find me and not actively search for it. What is the oldest gaming console you own? We MIGHT still have our old Atari? If not, it'd be a GameBoy Advance. Which accents can you emulate pretty well? Just British. Do you think you'll ever manage to do everything you want to? No. But then again, I think that sounds pretty realistic? I doubt most people check off everything on their bucket list. What do you fear most? Probably becoming truly homeless, living on the streets. Do you wear shoes around the house? No. Are you a good driver? If you can't drive yet, do you think you'll be good? I mean, I'm not the worst in the world. My mom's always pointed out though that I ride on the brakes (which I do out of fear) and I tend to speed up and slow down quite a bit. I also stop kinda abruptly sometimes. What is/was your favorite thing about school? Seeing friends. What are you most likely to spend money on? My own personal money, tattoos, lol. Have you ever been a complete fangirl/fanboy over anything? @_@ Do you hate how, when the public like a celebrity, they overpublicize them? I feel bad for them, more than anything. You breathe wrong and suddenly it's news-worthy. It's like your every inconsequential action is under heavy surveillance and judgment, and it seems so unfair. Have you ever became attracted to someone you weren’t at first because their personality made you find them physically attractive? That was Jason for me. I never thought he was ugly, but regardless, he became THE most attractive man in the world to me. Have you ever worked in retail? Yes. -_- Are you even a little bit racist? Nah man, it's 2021, baby. Were you more fond of swings, monkey bars, or seesaws as a child? I was all about the swings. Do you believe in a near-future apocalyptic event? I don't know or care, honestly. A gamma ray or whatever they're called could incinerate us all tomorrow. A black hole could swallow the earth in an hour. We don't know. Do you have a chandelier in your home? No. Do you have a bar with stools? No. Is your Christmas tree faux or real? If faux, what color? We use a fake green one. Do you eat the crusts of your bread? Yes; it's the first part I eat. Which body type would you say you had? Did you know whales can survive on land? :^) Have you ever flown a kite? Yeah! I used to LOVE doing that with Dad as a kid when the field across our house wasn't in use (tobacco was grown there). What’s your preferred flavour of jam? I just like grape. What kind of animal did you last pet? My cat! Name a celebrity that you admire that nobody would expect you to: I massively admire Jeffree Star's work ethic. Do you prefer to shave or wax? Shave. I used to wax my eyebrows, but now I just don't care. Would you ever have sex in a public place? Uh, no. Do you think Jenna Marbles’ videos are funny? I've actually never watched her. Your favourite pasta dish: Just your normal spaghetti with meatballs. Strangest thing you’ve ever seen? Probably what I'm assuming was a star (but it was green???) flickering and then fizzling out of the sky kind of like some sort of backwards firework. I'd been watching it literally grow over a few nights, so when this happened, it was a big "?????? the fuck??????". It honestly scared me for some reason so I went inside after that. Aliens? I say aliens. Ever had a crush on somebody of the same sex? Yes. Has anybody ever called you a bastard? I don't think so. Who is the last person you ignored? uhhhhhhh Would you wear feathers in your hair? So actually, for my first prom, I wanted to wear a blue jay feather I had in my hair, reason being Jason's nickname from his parents was always "J Bird." It ended up not working out because we couldn't make it look natural with what we had. When was the last time you were well and truly scared? Hm. Favourite member of your favourite band: Ozzy, obviously, haha. Who’s your favourite female rapper? I don't have one.

[wide-eyed--wonderer]

You’re an idiot. I married an idiot.

I feel like I haven’t posted in forever!! But this is over 1k of Sprace hurt/comfort (with a smattering of Jack and Race being brothers because I have nothing if not a brand) so I hope that makes up for it. Also, I know nothing about surfing or skateboarding, so please don’t judge if I got anything about it horribly wrong. 

Spot had missed being a mechanic. 

Don’t get him wrong, he had loved his honeymoon, and spending time with his husband, but nothing was quite as gratifying as getting his hands dirty and fixing up a car. 

Spot was in the middle of a job when York, one of the other mechanics, came in.

“Hey Spot, your phone’s been ringing like crazy for the last five minutes.”

Spot poked his head up from under the car. 

“Who was it?”

“Uhh, not sure, it's the cowboy emoji?” Spot rolled his eyes.

“That’s just my dumbass brother in law, who is currently catching up with my husband. Ignore it. It’s probably just him trying to annoy me because he knows I’m at work” 

“Sure, Spot,” York shrugged, leaving the garage

Spot got another 3 minutes of blissful silence working on the car, when York came back in. 

“Spot, it’s still ringing, and you have like. 10 messages from the guy too.”

Spot sighed loudly and gestured for York to hand over the phone. Jack calls him back as he leaves the room. 

“What the hell do you want?” Spot growled.

“Race’s in hospital.” That made Spot stop cold.

“Which hospital?”

“53rd” 

“On my way.” Spot swallowed against the mounting fear. “How bad is it?” 

“He’s fine, Spot. I wouldn’t be able to talk right now if he wasn’t.” That was true, if there was anyone who would be more affected by this then Spot, it was Races brother. “He’ll probably want you when he wakes up though?” 

“What the hell did you two do?” Jack's words had calmed Spots' fear somewhat (although nothing truly would until he saw Race himself) but it had left him confused. Jack made it sound like Race wasn’t awake, but if Jack wasn’t worried, then what the hell had the two of them done?

“Well, we went skateboarding, and-” 

“You and Race can skateboard?” 

“....no”

“I’m going to kill both of you. Be ready to die in about 10minutes.”

“See you then Spot.”  

Exactly 9minutrs later, Spot was walking toward the front desk of the hospital. 

“Hey, I’m looking for an Antonio Higgins Conlon - Kelly?”

“And you are?” 

“His husband,” Spot said, not so subtly lifting his ringed hand up to run through his hair. 

“Of course, he's in surgery right now, but should be out soon. Fifth floor.” 

Spot thanks the attendant and makes his way to the elevator, sending Jack a quick message to let him know he’s there. 

By the time Spots reached the fifth floor, his nerves have returned, and Jack is waiting for him. Spot was slightly worried that Jack was lying over the phone, but one look at his face - slightly shaken and a little off-kilter, but no red puffy eyes and generally looking kinda ok - knows that Jack was telling the truth, and his husband is fine. Banged up, but fine.

“Where is he?” Is the first thing that comes out of Spots mouth. Distantly, he thinks that he probably should be a little nicer, but Jack seems to get it. He doesn’t say anything, just gestures for Spot to follow him to the waiting room at the end of the hallway. 

“I called you as soon as we got here, Race’s -” Jack swallows, “-he’s been in surgery the whole time. The doctor ain’t come back out yet, but I think he had a concussion and broke his leg. And Something didn't look right bout his arm, but I ain’t a doctor, so I don’t really know and”

“Jack,” Spot interpreted his ramble, “you said Race’s gonna be ok. Then he’s gonna be ok. Let just, sit here and wait, and then the doctor will come out and tell us what’s going on, kay?”

“Uh, yeah, that's - right - good idea Spot.”

Spot had always felt a kinda protectiveness over Race’s brother, which was weird. Spot was the oldest of the three (if only by a couple months) and Jack was incredibly protective and strong for Race, and Spot was the one person he seemed to really let his guard down around. 

And right now, Spot couldn't keep calm for himself, he could keep himself at least looking calm for Jack. 

The boys sat in silence for a couple minutes when a nurse walked in. 

“Jack Kelly?” Both boys jumped up. “And I assume your Antonios husband?” the man said with a slight laugh, looking at Spot.

“Uh, yeah, Is he ok?”

“Your husbands fine, Mr Conlon - Kelly. A light concussion, a broken leg, and some scarring on his arm. Nothing that won’t heal.” Spot let out a sigh of relief. He felt Jack almost melt into the floor next to him. 

“Now I know your husband wants to see you, you want to see him, boys?” 

“Race’s awake?” Spot questioned, already following the man toward the room Race was in. 

“He’s awake. He’s also still a little...loopy… from the medication. He’s said some truly wonderful stuff. The nurse turned to wink at Jack. “I’d recommend getting your phone out and filming him.” Jack fished his phone out of his pocket as they arrived at the door, pressing record as he and Spot entered the room.

“Oh, honey…”

“SPOTTIE!” Race shot up in his bed and smiled wild at his husband, and then winced at the pain it caused his arm. “I think I got a booboo Spot.”

Spot could feel Jack vibrating with barely contained laughter behind him. 

“Yeah you did angel, but the nurse said they fixed you right up.”

“Oh yeah, I remember. I told them you were coming.” Ahh, that explained some of the nurse's cryptic comments from earlier. “They didn’t believe me when I told them I was married. Said I looked too young.” 

“We Are kinda young, love,” Spot said, sitting down on the foot of the bed, and starting to massage his husband's foot. In defence of the nurses, the assumption was fair. Race was 25 but still managed to look not much older than 21. 

“Mmm. But I told em I was. I said I was married to a hobbit and fiercely in love.”

Jack, who up until this point had been waiting in the corner filming, promptly burst out laughing, dropping his arm holding his phone as he clutched at his side. 

“Ohh, Jackie!! Jackie, I got some booboos!! Can you put the Spiderman bandaids on them like when we’s were little!! Please, Jackie.!?!”

“I…, Oh god” Jack continued to wheeze, “I do;;t have any Race.”

“Oh, that’s disappointing.” Race shrugged and layed back down. “Night night Spottie. Night night Jackie,” Race mumbled, and promptly fell asleep.

“What are we gonna do with him?” Spot sighed, rolling his eyes fondly.

Jack went home around 9, and Spot stayed behind, sleeping on the chair he'd pulled up to Race’s bed, his hand still in Race’s hair. 

When he woke up the next morning, Race was still asleep. It occurred to him to text Hotshot, his manager, to let him know he wouldn’t be coming in today. He was just putting his phone away when Race woke up. 

“Spottie?” He mumbled. His eyes were still closed, but his hand was searching blindly for Spots. 

“Hey Sweetie,” Spot responded, threading his hand through Races. “How’re you feeling?”

“Everything hurts,” Race groaned, leaning toward Spot, who lifted his other hand back into Race’s hair.

“Yeah, a broken leg, a concussion, and some pretty nasty scarring on your arm will do that to you.” Spot laughed

“I’m never going skateboarding again.”

“You never should have gone in the first place, love. How’d you do it? Jack was awfully vague.”

“Well, we started on flat ground, and I was good at that, so I decided to try the ramps. I figured it was kinda like riding the waves and surfing right? And I got down fine, but I did not have enough momentum to get back up the ramp. So I tumbled back down. And I forgot solid ground is a lot harder than waves in the ocean.”

“So wait, you thought that skateboarding and surfing were the same, but forgot the part where the ground is solid and not, you know, water?” Spot questioned, shaking his head fondly. 

“In my defence, So did Jack.”

“You’re an idiot. I married an Idiot.”

“You know me and Jack hun, you married into a family of idiots.” 

“That’s fair.” Spot laughed, before returning to a more sober expression. “God Race, getting that call from Jack. I don't think I’ve ever been so scared in my life.”

“Sorry for scaring you mi angelo.” Race leaned down to kiss Spots hand still in his. 

“It’s ok Race.” 

“I love you Spottie.”

“Love you too Racer.”

thanks for prompting!! Let me know what you think!!

[petersasteria]

You Again?! - H.O. // 22

Pairing: Haz x Reader

*This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.*

Series Masterlist

* * * *

Things have been okay between Y/N and Harrison ever since they got back together. Harrison didn't fail to be there for her anymore and he really did become a better person. Harrison still sought help from Tom, though. After all, we all need a little help sometimes.

Y/N got her board exam result and Tom and Harrison were there for her. They celebrated when she passed and Harrison's gift for her was a trip around Asia. Y/N was really happy and she totally didn't expect it.

Of course, Tom helped but it was all Harrison who did it.

Their love story isn't perfect, but it's beautiful. Almost as if everything was a dream.

-

"Y/N, wake up! You have classes don't you?" Tom shakes her awake. "You're going to be late!"

Y/N groans and wakes up. She sits up and looks around with confusion written all over her face. Tom glances at her and sighs, "Thank God, you're up! Breakfast is on the table. You fell asleep and I didn't want to wake you. Harrison didn't come last night. He said he wanted to go home and rest after his horrendous date. But you'll meet him later."

"But-"

"Nope. No buts. Get up, eat breakfast, take a shower and get dressed. You still have clothes here from last time. I'm driving you to Ainsworth. Let's go!" Tom says quickly. Y/N sighs and thinks, 'I'll tell him later, then.'

-

Tom opens the door in surprise, "I told you to text me when your classes are done. I was supposed to pick you up." He steps aside and lets Y/N in. He closes the door and smiles, "I'm so glad you went straight here! I have someone here for you! It's Harri-"

"Harrison." Y/N gasps at the man in the living room. Harrison turns around and his eyes widen, "Y-Y/N."

"Hold up- you already know each other? How and when?!" Tom's jaw drops. Y/N and Harrison look at each other and at Tom.

"I dreamed about him."

"She was in my dream!"

"What?" Tom asks, clearly confused. "You guys dreamed of each other? How is that even possible?"

"Well, I don't know, but it happened." Harrison shrugs.

"I'll, uh, leave you guys to it, then." Tom excuses himself and leaves.

Y/N walks closer to Harrison and sits next to him, "I'm Y/N."

"Harrison."

"That was some weird dream, huh?" Y/N chuckles. Harrison nods, "Yeah it was so real. I thought I would wake up next to you or something."

"I mean... we could always make that dream a reality...if you want?" Y/N asks. "I'm- I'm willing to try if you're willing."

"That'd be cool, actually." Harrison smiles. "Oh and for the record, I wouldn't treat you bad like in that dream. Even I thought it was fucked up."

"It was so fucked up." Y/N laughs.

They went on a few dates before becoming an official couple. The real Harrison was so different from the Harrison in Y/N's dreams. Y/N ended up graduating with her friends and she studied for her board exams with Harrison's help.

Harrison was really proud of her when she passed her board exams. She was really proud of his acting career taking off. They were each other's cheerleaders.

After three years of dating, Harrison proposes to her on the their trip to Amsterdam. Of course, she said yes. Tom was truly happy for his best friends. There were times when he'd think about the "what could've been's", but he wouldn't trade his best friends' happiness for the world. He loved Y/N, but his love for her as a best friend weighed more than the romantic love. After all, he was contented with just being her best friend.

A year later, they finally get married and went to Italy for their honeymoon.

-Months later-

"I don't know if anyone has told you, but you look cute with a baby bump, love." Nikki smiles at Y/N. She couldn't believe that the girl who she took in like her own daughter is now a married young woman, a successful lawyer, and a soon-to-be mother. Nikki was really happy for you.

"Is there a reason for your visit? You're on maternal leave. I assume you'd want to spend that with Harrison." Nikki says.

"Don't be silly, Nikki. I want to visit. Besides, he's working and I didn't want to be alone at home." Y/N chuckles. "It's hard being alone when I'm almost due."

"Why didn't you want to know the gender of your baby?" Nikki asks.

"We wanted it to be a surprise." Y/N giggles. "I-"

Y/N's hand flew to her large bump and her face contorts in pain. Nikki looks at her worriedly, "Are you okay?"

Just then Y/N feels something trickling down her legs. She looks at Nikki and says, "My water just broke."

Nikki's eyes widen. She helps her stand up and helps her get in the car. "I'll call Harrison when we get there!" Nikki says whilst driving the car. It was a miracle that they weren't given a speeding ticket by how fast Nikki was driving.

Nikki kept her word and called Harrison whilst Y/N was brought to the delivery room.

"Hi Ni-"

"Y/N is in labor and we're at the hospital. I don't care where you are or what you're doing. Drop it now and come here." Nikki says sternly before hanging up.

Five minutes later, Harrison arrives with Tom. "Where is she?" Harrison frantically asks.

"She's in the delivery room. Just go in there!" Nikki points to the door.

Harrison nods and runs to where Y/N is. The nurse immediately stops him, "I'm sorry, sir. You're not allowed in-"

"Let him in. He's the father." Y/N groans in pain. She looks at him and musters up a smile. Harrison walks to her and kisses her forehead, "I can't believe today's the day."

"Same here."

"Okay, you're ready to push now." the doctor says. Y/N grips Harrison's hand and she starts to push.

After a while and a lot of pushing, a baby's cries were heard throughout the delivery room. "Congratulations! It's a girl A healthy baby girl." the doctor smiles and passes the baby to the nurses to get her cleaned up. One of the nurses cleans Y/N up too.

As soon as the baby gets cleaned up, the nurse hands her to Harrison. He looks down at his daughter and starts crying, "She's beautiful, Y/N."

He looks at Y/N and carefully hands the baby to her. She takes her and smiles, "She is. I think I'm in love."

Harrison chuckles lightly, "Thank you for giving me a daughter who looks like you."

"Hey, you kinda helped too." Y/N whispers. "I love you."

"I love you more." Harrison smiles and kisses her.

* * * *

Hope you enjoyed.

Tag list: @sweetdespairbarnes​​​​​​ @marvelislove10​​​​​​ @fanficparker​​​​​​ @mrs-captainsteverogers​​​​​​ @trustfundparker​​​​​​ @xximaweirdoxx​​​​​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​​​​​​ @ixchel-9275​​​​​​ @singingcatlady​​​​​​ @with-my-soul-and-heart​​​​​​​ @myblueleatherbag​​​​​​​ @spnobsessedmemes​​​​​​​ @marvelousell​​

[kim-isnt-seaweed]

Hi. I love your page 🤍 Can you please tell me how does it work to get married in Korea? Thanks Sending lots of love to you, and be safe 🥰

Hii! Thank you!

In what way? Like how do you get married or how it's like being married to someone Korean? I assume it's the ..former(??) First one.

Getting married in Korea has it's difficulties and also parts that are much more simple than in America. I think this is gonna be long so bear with me.

(It is long..sorry!!)

So let's start with a disclaimer. This is just from my experience and those around me, plus what you sometimes see on TV. The very basic generalized idea of how it works.

First, your date then you decide to get married. Like it's really like that, your date then at some point in whatever way you and your partner communicate you decide to get married, together as a couple; by this I mean no surprise proposals or whatever. Then you and your partner and both of your parents meet for the first time for a dinner where you tell them your plans, but this part is kinda fuzzy for me, what I've heard is that the old school traditional way is that you don't meet each other's Parents until this point but IDK how true that is now, I know I met T's parents (even his extended family) very fast even by American standards and T's friend who is engaged has met his GF's parents a few times here and there over the years but nothing official (as in going to family weddings together or spending holidays together something T and I did a lot) but anyway, and then as it happens in dramas some parents might be against it (but also Idk how true it is now if they have so much say in who you marry or not but given how much they have to do and pay for it, I feel like it's still true)

Then..you propose. In Korea, people don't actually propose until you officially know you're getting married. T "proposed" to me a week before we registered our marriage, and another of his friends who is already legally married to his wife will propose to her soon. point is you won't get proposed to until you guys already agreed on getting married. When I explained that in America it's usually a surprise and that is when you say yes or no they were kinda shocked haha

After this comes marriage registration and ceremony. The order in which you do this is up to you really, some people do the ceremony first and some people do the ceremony 3 years later like us haha. For the registration process it's fairly simple you get the required documents I can't remember what they are but yeah, go to the ..ward office ?? ( that's what google translate told me) give the papers, sign them and bara bim bara boom(apparently its bada bing bada boom 🙃) you married !!

Now the ceremony is the hard part. Multiple people have told me "Korean wedding ceremonies are a business" and boy they really are, it's a weird give and take of money between family members and most of it is for your parents and in-laws.

So first, The most important thing you have to do is set the venue, there are tons of wedding venues all over Seoul you just gotta choose one, set the date chose the available time (oh, here weddings are always around noon or early afternoon and last probably less than two hours cause you gotta be out before the next wedding) now if you have the venue you basically have everything else American/Colombian brides stress about: decorations for the ceremony?? You just deal with what the venue has that season (there are multiple halls per venue so the hall you choose does have a specific style though) bouquet?? You just chose from the options they give you. Entrance songs? Also, choose from the list. Dress? If you want the venue can also rent some pretty dresses for you. Studio? If you want you can also choose from a few studios the venue has partnerships with. Makeup & hair? If you want you can also do it at the venue. (All these "if you want" things have an extra cost though but not much more if you did it independently) reception?? Pshhh what's a reception?? In Korea you do the ceremony, take some pictures, people eat at the venue's buffet while you do some traditional ceremony with just the family elders, afterward you greet the guests and leave. So yes, in Korea if you have the venue you do take care of most of the things brides back home worry about a lot. T and I have been over this wedding since before we even did anything for it so we just fucken did everything with the venue haha

Once you get the venue then you pick put the dress and do the photoshoot and whatnot, but that is not the hard part. Now you go around the family elders (especially your father-in-law's family) and tell them the news, then traditionally the bride has to give each of her father-in-law's siblings 1million krw (little less than a 1000 dollars??) But worry not! On the day of the ceremony you get half of it back (don't ask me why not even T gets it) obviously my family being in Colombia where the Peso is like 4 times less than the Won can not afford that, so my FIL helped us out. Another part which is apparently traditional is that your in-laws buy you jewelry (in addition to the rings) I got two pairs of earrings and a necklace with two pendants and that's cause I was basically forced ( don't feel that comfortable getting expensive stuff) and then there's this other tradition where the bride's friends barricade the bride in her house and the groom's friends have to coax her to come out with gifts by the groom, we didn't do that -it's actually not that common anymore- but t did get me a bag, remember that one post about the man feeling like he has to buy expensive shit for his partner? Yeh, we actually went yesterday and when we came home as we were going to sleep he said that he felt very good that he finally got me something expensive.

After you go around the family elders asking them to come (i couldn't go cause I had the flu) you do the invitations. Now when booking the venue you give an estimate of around how many people but its usually always around 200, why? Cause guest lists don't exist!!! "Only family and friends/close ones" is not a thing that is used here. T has to invite his whole station, I have to invite everyone at my work, he has to invite everyone in his badminton club and his parents get to invite whoever the fuck they want because this is about them, not you. My MIL's badminton club is all going, people, my FIL works with we have never seen in our lives and random people my MIL knows from her bar, not to mention that you don't get to say "no plus ones" or "no children" just know random people are also gonna show up haha but that's not even the issue either, it's giving the invitations. That's a whole other protocol that fucks me up, it's not like in the u.s were you just casually give people the invitations like "hey, go to my wedding, k, byeee" nope, you gotta invite people to dinner or at the minimum buy them some coffee and shit..iiif your close, if not Idk man I have no one to invite that I'm not close too but T has to invite like captains and superiors and the poor man is stressing the fuck out. To the people you're not that close to (or have to suck up to...there's a lot of sucking up in Korea from what I've learned), a simple online invitation will be enough haha

Now after the invitations, there are a few other details you gotta arrange like who's going to Mc the ceremony (one of T's friends) the picture table (it's a table with pictures of you two but you gotta pay for those too) who's going to receive the money envelopes, it's usually: a person from the brides family gets the money from the bride's guests and a person from the grooms family gets it from his gets but since my guests are less than 20 and I have no family here, who cares. Then who's going to catch the bouquet, apparently here you just don't throw it at a group of women but you have to ask someone specifically, I asked my coworker. And who's going to sing the congratulatory songs (축하) one of T's friends will sing "아로하" by Jo Jung-suk and my coworkers will perform AOA's heart attack. Oh, the venue also has a photographer, and on the day before the ceremony the bride is always in a little room sitting on a small couch while guests take pictures with her and the groom is greeting guests haha oh oh! The moms wear hanboks throughout the ceremony and the aunts too.

Then you have to get the hanboks for the traditional ceremony. You can rent those but the lady convinced us to let her make ours from scratch although you can still give them back to them to rent them but the lady and my MIL convinced us to buy them. The traditional ceremony 폐백 pyebaek, Idk how it really is because I've never seen one but I've been told you are in traditional Korean clothes, do some things like serving tea, bounce some ..some ...nuts? Circle thingies on a cloth, feed the family elders, and do an on-the-floor bow for each and every one of them while they hand you money and give you marriage advice. Then you go out and greet the guests while they eat and you starve (that's what everyone says) and you leave for your honeymoon. We can't go on an actual honeymoon cause of my work and Corona but we'll spend the weekend somewhere nice.

And...

that's all I think. I don't know if I'm missing anything its 3 am Haha

Anyway, i hope this was at least fin to read haha thank you!! You stay safe too!♡

[skyahri]

Boyfriend Scenarios |Naruto Boys X Reader| HC

Characters: Shikamaru Nara, Naruto Uzumaki, Sasuke Uchiha, Kakashi Hatake, Gaara

Summary: How they are as boyfriends.

Warnings: Wrote this a long time ago so it’s bad lol.

Masterlist Ko-fi

- - - - -

Shikamaru Nara

I can honestly see him as someone who's okay with out constant affection. He doenst necessarily mind the attention, but he doesnt just go for it all the time. If his s/o is naturally clingy than he goes with it, but other than small gestures of affection he doesnt do the whole PDA thing.

Shikamaru is the kind of guy that just kinda ends up with his s/o. He's not one to just outwardly ask someone out or be asked out so everyone assumes he's just not interested.

You had known the Nara for years and went through everything together; through the academy, the chunin exams, the war, everything leading up to where you were now- about twenty years old and still close friends.

You couldnt really remember when it all started, but you definitely recall the escalation. It went from occasional hugs, to handholding, to cheek pecks, to more of those things, and so on.

You could definitely remember the first time you actually kissed him. And the first time he spent the night at your apartment. And the first make out session after a big mission. And the first time you had sex.

But no one actually knew when it had all started. It was almost like common knowledge that you two were together. No one asked how or when, no one mentioned it, and nobody question it.

It was simply just a fact.

Naruto Uzumaki

This boy is touch starved and no one can disagree. He grew up relatively alone and never got the affection he should have recieved from family and friends. When his s/o comes around they are DEFINITELY smothered in love and affection and cuddles and hugs and kisses and all that mushy stuff.

At first everyone was really uncomfortable with the show, but eventually got used to it and couldnt help but be happy for the blonde.

With that factor though, we have to realize how clingy and boarder line obsessive he would get at the beginning of the relationship before his s/o finally tells him to bug off a bit. He would get depressed when they're away and be all mopey and panicked when they arent around. He comes to his senses a bit later on and they're relationship mellows out a bit after the honeymoon phase.

When it came time to meet your parents, he completely flipped and rushed around asking people for advice on how to talk to parents. He eventually settled on asking Ino or Sakura considering how unbothered their home lives were.

Sasuke Uchiha

This man will 100% treat you like trash at one point in your life. Hes so bad at articulating feelings, especially positive ones, that he just ends up distancing himself from you and pretending to hate you.

Of course this is all a facade and he just doenst want to admit he likes you, but it's still irritating. For everyone. His friends, his family, his classmates, everyone. It's probably not until after shit hits the fan does he realize that hes in love with you.

When the war ends and he comes back to the village, it takes about a year for everything to clear and he finally got the opportunity to ask you out.

But he stuttered.

And didnt actually ask you out, he just kissed you.

And he was surprised when you kissed back.

Unsurprisingly, he acts like a cool guy out in public but turns into a teddy bear when you're alone. He wont admit it, and actively denies your accusations, but everyone knows its true.

Kakashi Hatake

I cant imagine Kakashi dating anyone he hasnt known for years. After everything this man has been through, hes sure to have some trust/attachment issues and only when he knows you're around for good, will he finally fess up.

It was a random day. No missions, no drama, no teenagers, just you and him. And straight out of the blue does he ask you to officially go out with him. You're a little shocked sure, but you were expecting the question sooner or later.

You go on dates a lot in between missions, nothing too fancy, just dinner or a walk in the park or even a trip to the memorial stone. He loves that you hold Minato and his team close to your heart despite not actually being a teammate, but rather a close friend.

He spent a long time thinking about it, almost 4 years, but he finally tasked you to marry him. It was the perfect time, his team was all grown up, he was back to less dangerous, less life threatening, missions, and sat securely in his role as hokage.

Everyone was honestly shocked that this guy was getting married. No one even knew he had a girlfriend let alone a fiance. When asked why he kept her a secret he firmly stated he forgot to mention her.

For almost 4 years.

Gaara

You actually weren't from the land of wind, but rather the land of fire. When he came occasionally to visit Naruto or on Kazekage duties, he always ran into you. Every time. Which made sense considering you worked at the Kage tower.

He found you absolutely stunning and after a few run ins you eventually started talking. That talking turned into meet ups and messages and dates. And before you knew it, you'd been unofficially dating for almost a year.

The only reason he ever officially asked you out was because Temari had told him to 'grow some balls and do it already'. He was relieved when you said yes and he couldnt help but shower you with subtle love in the moment.

A few months later, he asked you to move to Suna and you didnt hesitate before responding with a shy yes.

Gaara is naturally bad at facial expressions, even after he comes out of his shell, but you could always tell what he was feeling. That's one of the many reasons he loves you.

Hes a bit of a tsundere, always waiting until there was guaranteed privacy to ask for cuddles and hugs and kisses. He was absolutely a closet romantic, always taking you out on dates and giving you meaningful gifts.

[avelera]

more body positive stuff, but this time with hermann? he’s always been insecure about how scrawny he is and how bony his limbs are but newt just can’t get over how elegant and beautiful his boyfriend is!!!

Hey there, Anon! I combined your prompt with a second one which I’ll list below the cut. This got kinda long (3k words, sigh) but I hope I hit what you’re looking for!

On the Risks (and Benefits) of Pillow Talk 

Also available on Ao3

Ship: Newt/Hermann

Words: ~3,000

Timeline: Soon after their Drift - I wanted to write the smut scene between them first but eh, unfortunately this is very T/PG-13 rated and the smut scene will come another day :)

Prompt 2: Can you talk a bit more about Hermann’s realization that he has a bit of a thing for more ample bodies? Did he slowly notice that his secret crushes had certain things in common? Did it hit him suddenly during a meeting? Was it something that he had to hide since he was a child? Is it something he’s found adult videos of before deleting his browser history? Enquiring minds want to know the whole story 😉

–

They lay there, panting side by side, nude on the bed, and even if it wasn’t the first time, Hermann still found himself staring up at the ceiling as his heart rate slowed, trying to figure out how this has become his life. How it had actually come to this after years of alternating between furious at Newton to furious at himself for not being able to relinquish the lingering desire he felt since they’re only known each other as a signature at the end of a page. 

Most humiliating had been the desire that would throb at the most inopportune times. Moments when they were in one another’s face, screaming themselves hoarse, when it would suddenly come over Hermann how badly he wanted to have Newton screaming for an entirely different reason and he would scoff and sputter and storm off, only hoping that Newt would take his departure as a reaction to his monument stupidity rather than the truth of Hermann’s own shameful lack of self control.

Thanks to the Drift, he could now see that a loss of self-control would have probably been the best thing he could have done at the time. They could have been shagging one another silly for years.

Newt sighed in contentment and rolled over to press up against Hermann, planting what he suspected were deliberately messy kisses against his shoulder. Newt’s hand swept up and down Hermann’s scrawny, concave chest, down to the sharp jut of his hipbone down to his thin legs. At least Newt’s wasn’t touching the mess of surgical scars on his left hip or the mangled bone beneath it. Not that Newton had ever made any gesture, or even a whisper that he was put off by the scars, but Hermann can’t help but feel…

“God, you’re so fucking gorgeous,” Newt muttered against his skin. “What are these fucking dancer legs, man? I feel like I kidnapped the premier danseur of the fucking Paris Ballet.” Newt lifted Hermann’s good leg at the knee and stroked his hand up and down the calf while laving more kisses against his skin.

Hermann scoffed, “Like you’ve ever attended the ballet.”

“Fuck you, I spent my summers stuck on the opera circuit as a kid, you uncultured swine. I know what I’m about,” Newt said. “Which is why I know this is fucking superb.” Newt crawled up to bracket Hermann on all fours, peppering more kisses against his neck and down to his chest while his hand traced up and down his side. “But what I don’t know is what you’re doing with a slob like me. Must be my dazzling personality.”

Hermann’s eyes fluttered open as he frowned. His mouth went dry every time he saw Newton naked, at the rounded muscles of his arms and the swell of his stomach and his hips and his thighs. Hermann could feel himself stirring even so soon after the last round just thinking about Newton’s body. “Don’t be absurd, I think we both know who would win a theoretical beauty contest, much as it pains me to stroke your ego.”

“Fake compliments? Dr. Gottlieb, I’m all aflutter!” Newt said between kisses, muffling half his words with each peck. “Especially that you would up and lie like a lying liar just to make me feel better.”

Newt’s been happier, far more relaxed since they closed the Breach. Hermann imagined a similar mood was sweeping the world right now. As for himself, dispatching an existential threat on the same night as all of one’s sexual tension had admittedly lifted even his mood. Newton was a bottomless well of delight and exuberance in the bedroom, far more enthusiastic than any of Hermann’s past partners. He’d simply assumed it was the Drift, or Newton’s general attitude of respect towards Hermann’s disability and familiarity with his overall…demeanor. After  five years of working closely together, the man was in all likelihood simply not phased by all of Hermann’s failings, not that it had stopped all of their petty sniping. 

Hermann frowned and pushed himself up on his elbows. “Do not call me a liar,” he said querulously.

“But you are though. Except like a handsome one so I’ll put up with it this time,” Newt said and kissed up to Hermann’s lips, now within reach. Hermann continued to frown and did not return it. “Ok, what is it now? Are you seriously mad at me for having even a trace of modesty? I thought we were still in the honeymoon period.”

“You’re not a…a slob, Newton, unless you were referring to your office organization habits,” Hermann said. “You’re obviously more attractive than I, and either you are teasing me on the matter, which I do not appreciate and quite violates the so-called honeymoon period, or you believe that to be true and I will not permit you to project such a wrong-headed belief onto me.”

“Wait. Wait a minute, are we…” Newt paused, “seriously having a fight about who is hotter right now?”

“We’re not fighting, it’s a statement of fact,” Hermann retorts.

“Oh my god. Ok, just so you know, this is officially the dumbest argument we’ve ever had, and we’ve had some doozies. First of all, what are you, twelve? Second, you hit all the bases for conventionally attractive, borderline supermodel, dude, if you’d just dress like it once in a while. Those cheekbones, those hands, your shoulders,” Newt punctuated each statement by kissing the offending body part, “you’ve got the willowy, Victorian consumptive look down pat. I wasn’t kidding when I said you’re built like a dancer. Probably the only reason you’re with me is the hot girl effect. Y’know when you’re so hot everyone’s intimidated so only the gross, loud-mouthed guy is dumb enough to give it a shot. Eh, that and you’ve gone way out of your way to hide all this. Then there’s your personality, I mean, you might as well just put up a stop sign…”

“Stop it,” Hermann snapped.

Newt’s lip twitched, but he did stop and held up his palm in surrender. “Sorry, man, old habits. I gotta remember one of these days that I don’t have to pull your pigtails to get you to notice me anymore. Not when I’ve already got you in bed by some fucking miracle.”

Hermann’s lips worked as he choked past his fury, “Not about me, you imbecile, you think after five years together in that lab I can’t handle a petty jab? I meant stop putting yourself down when it is so blatantly untrue. The Newton Geiszler I know didn’t need to resort to false self-deprecation when the truth is obvious for anyone to see. This is frankly the worst kind of arrogance.”

Hermann shifted onto his side to face away from Newton, to give himself a moment to cool down if Newton didn’t begin to wheedle for forgiveness immediately and curl up against his back while whispering nonsense endearments like, don’t be like that, baby. Not that Hermann would ever admit to enjoying the pestering.

Instead, the bed shifted as Newt bounded from one side of Hermann to the other. He landed hard on his side and stared intently into Hermann’s eyes like he was trying to solve a puzzle. Hermann recoiled, his lips curled down in displeasure and he moved to shift the other way before Newt’s hand curled around his bicep to stop him. “Hold on a second, I’m a little mixed up here. Which part are you mad at me about, the part where I used to lie about how sexy I was in front of you because I was an insecure piece of shit who enjoyed riling you up, or the part where I thought we were over that now so I’ve started telling it like it is?”

“The part where you know very well which of us drew looks around the Shatterdome and it wasn’t me. If it wasn’t for your obnoxious mouth, I have no doubt you would have had suitors lining up outside our lab,” Hermann groused but softened at the confusion on Newt’s face and sighed. “It’s very kind of you to compliment me like that, Newton. Lord knows, I should simply shut up and enjoy it when you make an effort like that, but I think we both know what we have is more… cerebral. There are few minds that can keep up with yours, or with your nonsense, and that allows you to overlook the fact I’m certainly no catch. As you so generously pointed out, my personality forbids others from getting close, my leg means most either try to ignore me for their own comfort or treat me as if I were made of glass, and even besides that I look as skeletal and undernourished as I have since I was a youth. I simply can’t keep the weight on, let alone muscle. Even without my leg I never would have advanced in the Jaeger Academy for that alone.”

“Wow, that’s…” Newton squinted at Hermann, then did the little head tilt Hermann was familiar with when Newt had decided to try a different avenue of experimentation. “Ok, so what do you think of me? Like, my body? You’ve never really brought it up before and actually I’m realizing that’s kinda weird because you’ve brought up literally every other flaw I have under the sun before today.”

Hermann blushed and couldn’t prevent it. It was easier to look away and he trailed his finger tips down the sheet as he eyed Newton’s tattoos, which he would rather be touching. But no, they were supposed to be having a tiff. “Oh, very well, I’ll play along. It’s not as if it’s a secret that I find you attractive, our activities here should be testament to that, nor that I have for many years. I had to wank off twice before I was in a fit state to leave my room the day I received your polaroid, though I’m sure you saw all that in the Drift.”

Newt made a strangled noise and Hermann glanced up to find him wide-eyed. “No?”

“Nope!” Newt squeaked. His cheeks were pink to match Hermann’s own and that was a boost of confidence enough to keep him going with a secret smile to himself. Fine, he hadn’t given away all his darkest secrets in the Drift, but it was damned inconvenient to have to put words to what should have been the obvious and heretofore very inappropriate fact of his attraction to his lab partner.

“What else is there to say?” Hermann said and shifted in discomfort. “You might as well have been constructed in a lab to vex me personally. Your eyes, your hair, the way you bite your lip on those rare occasions when you stop yourself from speaking, your… your body, it’s…” he coughed, “very attractive.”

“Well, you’d be the fucking first to think so,” Newt muttered under his breath. “Ok, so we’re gonna have to revisit the jerking off to my picture thing, but I gotta ask, in the spirit of scientific inquiry: what the fuck? Why? Assuming you’re not just messing with me, I’d like to hear more about this very attractive thing. Not just for the ego stroke. I’ll take the ego stroke, I’ll take any kind of stroke you wanna give me in about fifteen more minutes, heh, but I gotta admit, dude, this is a little… new for me?”

Any other time, Hermann might have scoffed and rolled his eyes at Newton’s blatant fishing for praise. But there was a hesitance to his words, a puppy-like inquisitiveness in the way he looked up at Hermann’s face. There was no hint of the usual bravado.

Hermann exhaled and allowed his hand to drift over the curve of Newton’s soft stomach, tracing it so he felt the goosebumps pebble on Newton’s skin, obscured by the colorful tattoos. It was soothing to touch and helped calm his nerves enough to speak frankly. “You must understand, this has been a—a closely guarded part of me, I daresay a secret, for so long I’m not even sure I have the words for it. I find your body desirable. My own… has betrayed me again and again. Even before my leg, my father used me as an example to torment my siblings. I’ve always been bony like this, but he saw skinniness as a virtue, as if it were in any way intentional. I know you’re an only child so you perhaps don’t understand the experience of being pitted in competition with your siblings against your will, but I had very few friends. They were all I had and yet everything about me, my intellect, my accomplishments, and as I said my body were used to put distance between us in order to serve as some sort of motivation for their perceived success. But there’s nothing special  in what I am. Even without my leg I’ve never found my appearance terribly attractive. But yours…” 

Hermann shrugged. “You’re beautiful. Unselfconscious, healthy… there, you see? There’s barely a vocabulary in our language that doesn’t sound like backhanded compliments. I find you desirable. I find your arms and your stomach and your legs all the more so for your weight, the way others have been socialized to admire musculature that can only be achieved by a degree of exercise so obsessive it borders on self-harm, or the leanness that comes with self-starvation. I’ve always thought it was as natural as any other attraction, only to be mocked for my tastes whenever I dared express them, or be told that I was acting on a lack of options when nothing could not be further from the truth. When I saw your photo, I was taken aback by how instantaneous the attraction was. I already knew your mind, your personality, and then I discovered you were also handsome and sexually attractive to me as well. It was a deadly combination. By the time I saw you in person, I was so convinced you couldn’t desire me in return, the way I wanted so terribly, that I assumed your flirtations couldn’t be anything but mockery. You of course know the rest.”

“Yeah…” Newt trailed off at the memory of that disastrous first meeting, then grinned. “So, you dig the chub?”

Hermann huffed a sigh and rolled his eyes. “If you must put it in such terms, yes.”

“So is it like a feeding thing or a bursting out of clothes thing…? Don’t look at me like that, man, I’ve been on the internet.”

Hermann hadn’t thought he could blush any harder but he was proven wrong. “No! Not… not necessarily. I know what you mean, I… I won’t say I’m not aware of that subculture, or haven’t found some of their erotica titillating, would you stop snickering?”

“I’m sorry!” Newt gasped. “I should have asked you about porn before, oh my god, if you could see your face right now!”

“I’m trying to answer your question on what is a very difficult subject for me, Newton. Would you do me the courtesy of not mocking me for doing so the way everyone else has?”

Newton’s teeth clicked shut and his eyes widened. He then nodded for Hermann to go on.

Yet Hermann found himself at a loss. “Well, but as I said, it’s merely erotica. Fantasy. I would never encourage a partner to engage in dangerous behavior for my gratification, nor would I want to humiliate them the way much of that art does. I find the very idea abhorrent. But I can’t change what I find attractive and I confess, Newton, it never occurred to me that you were declaring anything but simple truth when you called yourself a stud or a rockstar just to infuriate me.” He offered a weak smile at the last and though he knew Newton, as intimately as it was possible to know another person, a part of him still clenched in anticipation of the inevitable rejection and mockery for baring himself so.

Newt hummed thoughtfully. “I guess that makes me a lucky sonofabitch then, huh?”

Hermann blinked. “That’s it? You don’t mind?”

“Yeah, I totally mind that your particular bone means I’m a sex god to you, it’s a real tragedy. I dunno, it may take some getting used to, the idea I mean, but it’s kinda like hitting the jackpot would take getting used to. You’re not going to turn around and tell me to drop the junk food or start training with the Jaeger pilots one of these days like some of my other, uh, past experiences that didn’t end so great.”

“I might if I feared for your health,” Hermann shrugged. “But for pure aesthetics? No.” He forced himself not to fidget. He still felt utterly exposed to be speaking this frankly.

“Score. ‘Cause I’ve tried, man, none of this is gonna change even if I put myself through hell. I’m just built like this. Which I guess isn’t a problem for you,” Newt added thoughtfully. “Ok, so now that you’ve got that out, will you maybe consider that I also think you’re hot as fuck too?”

“It’s a relationship, Newton, compliments don’t need to be transactional,” Hermann scoffed.

“Oh my god, I can’t believe you sometimes. I’m not lying, Hermann! You’re hot! I’m into you, maybe it’s the other side of the whole thing you’ve got in your head, but you’re tall and elegant and… fucking lithe, like I need 19th century poetry to describe you. You’ve got the weirdest mouth I’ve ever seen and I’m so hot for it, like I felt funny just looking at you frowning up at your chalkboard some days. When you smile, your whole face transforms, and I could drown in your eyes if you’re not wearing those stupid granny glasses, and… mmmph!”

Hermann pulled away from kissing Newt to frown at him. “I think we’ve had quite enough of that.”

“You’re blushing! You really can’t handle compliments, huh?”

“Perhaps I’d rather save them up, instead of exhausting you on them all at once,” Hermann said and raised an eyebrow.

“Oh, don’t worry, babe, I’m nowhere near exhausted.” Newt grinned.

[juupajaa]

🧠Illness starts:

Ok right off the bat I’m gonna say that this shit is gonna be vague. We still have no fecking clue how, why and who gets an eating disorder, but sure enough it keeps happening. This might turn into a ramble.

So first things first, I feel like it needs to be said that not everyone with disordered eating has an eating disorder, but everyone with an eating disorder has disordered eating. These two are by nature very different, although easily confused and the change from de to ed is a gradual one. Disordered eating is the coping mechanism you use, and an eating disorder is when that coping mechanism turns into a mental illness. 

But let’s back up a bit. Everyone has a different starting point when it comes to disordered eating. There can be so many reasons why you begun to use food as a coping mechanism and usually it is a mix of many factors. Here are some usual suspects:

Biological factors, such as hormonal shifts and imbalances. People in their teens are especially vulnerable to eds because in your teens your hormones are going a little bit crazy and causing all sorts of havoc in your life. Being a teen is already hard, since you’re not a child anymore but not quite an adult either, and it doesn’t make it any easier that there’s all sorts of changes happening in your body. Genetics can also play a part, although we (and least of all I) know very little about it so far, but it might be possible that you are genetically vulnerable to eds as well. Also your physical well-being can play a part, for example sleep and nutrition. During some chaos in my family in my teens, I didn’t really have any routine in mealtimes or sleep. I mostly ate just candy and slept for like three hours a night, so needless to say, my nutrition and sleeping habits weren’t at their peak, and my teens were when my ed first flared up. In general, being poorly fed and poorly rested makes you less equipped to take on the challenges life will throw at you.

Psychological factors, and this can be pretty much anything. Insecurities, trauma, other mental disorders such as depression, personality disorders, anxiety, OCD... Due to the same family drama we had going on, my life didn’t make much sense to me and I was really angry and confused all the time and I was even diagnosed with depression. I was on the brink of absolutely losing my shit and jumping under a train because my life was just so unstable and strange, soI started counting calories instead of counting my reasons to live in order to cope with all that.

Environmental factors, and this can be pretty much anything too. Fights or dysfunction with your family and friends, pressure/stress from school/work/hobbies, traumatic events, big life changes (moving, graduation, divorce, loss...), media, peer pressure, honestly just everything that makes you feel uneasy, uncertain, nervous, anxious or insecure about yourself.

Pretty much anything can be put onto your list of factors and if you ever feel like something might have played a part in your disordered eating, it probably did. Usually we develop de at a time we are going through something difficult or feeling a lot of pressure, instability or nervousness. However, if you feel like there was nothing “going on” when you started to develop your de, don’t worry. It’s a sum of many things. Maybe you had a weird year last year and you were still in some transition phase and then one morning you noticed your favourite sock has a hole in it and then that one bitch said something stupid and it all just went downhill from there. It happens.

So let’s get into thought patterns next. Let’s say you have some vivid memory that you consider “the beginning” of your ed or de. It probably isn’t any true beginning, maybe just the first time you became aware of it, for eds/de are super sneaky and they kinda just slither their way in and wait for a perfect moment to attack. Eds and de rely on thought patterns to function and disordered thought patterns are what keep them alive and well. Thought patterns are basically thoughts that you keep repeating and they evolve over time. They’re not necessarily conscious, as in you don’t literally think them to yourself, but you kind of learn them through your experiences and they grow and evolve in your subconsciousness. Before your ed/de begun forming, you might have been going through thought patterns that started to get worse. You didn’t pay much attention to because they progressed slowly and honestly, who has time to pay attention to every little thought that goes on in their head. Let’s have some examples of thought patterns you might have had, please:

Let’s say you thought once: Wow she’s pretty. Ok, innocent enough. Then later you thought: I wish I was as pretty as her. Ok, a bit sad but still fine. A little later: I am not pretty enough. Ok, now it’s almost there. Even a bit more later: I am ugly. And there it is.

Let’s have another route. Let’s say you once thought: I like it when people give me attention. Ok, a mood. A little later: I wish people gave me more attention. Yeah, still with you. A bit later: I’m sad when people don’t give me enough attention. Ok, we’re getting there. Even a bit more later: I am not getting enough attention, so I must be unworthy of it. And here we are again.

Let’s have one more even tho I’m sure everyone already got it! Let’s assume you had a thought: My life is so chaotic, I need some structure. Yes, perfectly sensible. Then you thought: I can’t control the things happening around me, but I can decide when I eat, what I eat, and how I eat. Uh huh, ok. A bit later: If anyone tries to take the control of food from me, I’m going to lose everything. Yikes. Can we take this even further? Yes we can: Food is the only thing in my life that really matters to me. Wow, we did it.

We have a lot of thought patterns cooking in our brains at all times and it’s impossible to make sure they’re all healthy, good, sensible and helpful, but when enough of your thought patterns get terrible, they start to gang up on you and leave you wide open for attacks, and here comes your disordered eating, marching in like a piece of shit.

At the start of illness, you aren’t doing much yet. You are experiencing the thought patterns and you might not realize anything is wrong. You might be trying things out, seeing what you can do, but it’s still pretty much just you and your thoughts, so it’s impossibly hard for others to notice anything is wrong, which is unfortunate because at this stage your ed isn’t even fully formed yet and it is fairly easy to fix this mess before it gets worse.

All I really want to say about this stage is that if you ever think that someone might be at the early stages of an ed or using disordered eating to cope, do your best to stop it from getting worse, because it will get worse. You don’t have to do anything radical, just be nice and keep an eye on it - if it gets worse, get help. This thing came from little things, it can also go with little things. Even a slight improvement in the quality of life at this stage can completely remove the festering problem, but if left unattended, we’re gonna go straight into honeymoon, that absolute cunt.