#I just fine the juxtaposition so funny haha

[personinthepalace]

Emily and Edward sharing their support on Jane and Guildford appreciation days, respectively 🥺

[khaosophist]

Khaonon growled low and deep as he scanned the horizon.

“Small…”

The village seemed smaller. In his travels, he had found that most worlds had a variety of species, but this place had no regard for the possibility of civilization taller than Five and a half feet.

“Really? You’re going to make me the odd one out?”

'You’re always the odd one out.'

“Not in this way. Now I’m both weird, and Tall…How are they going to react?”

'Isn’t that the fun? To discover?'

“For what purpose?”

'Listen, just go into the inn, and find out.'

“Did you plan anything?”

'I did, and I'm trying not to follow it.'

“Why?”

'The people you will meet…They are not to be seen as playthings.'

“They never are.”

'Yeah well…I get horny.'

“Whatever.”

Khaonon lumbered towards the village. Its size seemed to ebb and flow as the entropy began to collapse to whatever it is that truth is. The streets weren’t cobbled in as much as they were desire paths. It twisted and turned to different buildings, and in between were signs of life.

“Where is everyone?”

'We haven’t imagined them yet.'

“Hmmm…”

'Yeah, I mean, like, where are the guards?'

“No walls…Peaceful people.”

'Or Fearless.'

“Why are you doing this?”

'Why not?'

“What’s the point?”

'Don’t you want to see goblins?'

“You know we have a thing for them. This is different. It feels different.”

'I know.'

“Let’s just go to the inn. It’s expected for today.”

'What for?'

“Oh now you’re the doubter?”

'What point is there in delusions!'

“Fair enough. Am I the delusion, or are you?”

'Fine then. What would you do?'

“Walk. Breathe. Observe. Live.”

'Haha, very funny.'

“Shut up.”

Khaonon walked to The Short Stop. The building’s entropy was pretty high. In all honesty, there was no consensus as to when this fantasy was happening. Cyberpunk? High magic? Dark fantasy? The possibilities thrummed in juxtaposition. Khaonon smiled, and felt at home.

“Aaah. Interesting.”

He opened the door. Which door? The door. There’s always a door isn’t it? Maybe an arch, who knows, but, there was a way in.

“Trippy.”

'Empty. More like.'

“Yeah well. Make up your mind. Are there only goblins here or not?”

'Does it mean anything?'

“How should I know?”

'How should I know? How should anyone know?'

“Fuck…”

'Just…ugh…'

Khaonon looked at the bar. It stuttered with possibility.

“Wait, isn’t (Inn) a fantasy word?”

'Hmmm…'

“Yeah, so…”

'What kind of fantasy?'

“Stop it.”

'Yeah well…who are we being for?'

“The audience”

'Which audience?'

“The audience that wants.”

'The audience that wants what?!'

“Well, what do we want?”

'A cute goblin girl.'

“Yeah well, if we remember right, it’s thirty-one days, mate.”

'I can barely keep track of ten names…'

“Posterity.”

'What, like an outline?'

“Or a garden.”

[cattles-bians]

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

em

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

[himerosy]

If you were writing or designing a story/comic about liquidmarks kitraaandra what direction would you take it in? Bear in mind theirs no wrong answers here, and what's your take on the charictar

I'm actually writing an erotic audio script about Kit. It's on the back burner atm, but I'm going to get it voiced and produced with SFX once it's done and I'm happy with it. More on that later...

About Kit, I think us fans have (understandably) attributed a lot of "raunchier" tones to her character than LiquidMark (LM) ever intended. The old game was really more GSPanovich's creation, but (thankfully) LM is pretty chill with people doing their own thing with his characters. LM has said a couple of times that he laments how so many people (again, understandably) just think of her as "haha sexy slime-fucking space cat" when she's so much more than that, and he doesn't even consider the game canon. Of course, if there'd been more content of her, people wouldn't have to use the game as the source of 95% of her character, but that's not my point.

If you look on LM's tumblr, I have slowly mined a fair bit of lore regarding Kit and his other fictional universe(s) out of him, which I found shed a lot of depth on Kit.

To elaborate on the sort of character I feel Kit is:

On a meta level, I think she's actually a pretty comedic and light character. Almost all of the content LM himself has made of her usually features a joke or funny situation or undertone. She's a to-the-point tough girl, but she has a good heart (LM thought Neutral Good is probably about right) and definitely a sense of humour too (unlike a Batman type character) even if she's not actively a jokey character. More often she's the straight man to silly situations.

Even dark or sexual situations often have an absurd juxtaposition of some kind, like the art LM did of Kit with the slime, except it's offering her valentines chocolates, or joking about tumblr smut still being a "better love story than twilight" or being annoyed at her mom for flirty on her thread, or calling one of her guns "The Answer". She's smiling or pulling a funny expression in a lot of her art, and that should say something. Even in LM art where she is getting railed, she's often just fed up like "ah man...this again?" instead of like "oh no how embarrassing and degrading" or ahegao-ing. And the art of her getting a consensual facial in ClixSposing Kitraandra? She's smiling joyfully -- our girl's happy (I'm colourising the piece atm btw)

The other thing with Kit's depictions is that there's usually a pretty universally understood surface level situation, but there's also a bit of depth behind any of her actual story details that show up. I think that's one of the things I liked about Kit even back in the day: I could *feel* there was more to her character, due to the care and little details in her art.

Ultimately I think Kit is a fun, and funny, character. She comes from a reasonably well though out sci-fi universe, she has a cast of supporting characters for her to interact with (her family, the crew of the Crazy Rush, and rivals like Gun-ter).

She comes from a society and family that very much has a set role for her to play, and she rejects it and becomes a Bounty Hunter instead, since it gives her a lot of freedom. Interestingly, she still has a decent relationship with her family, who are (at least for now) happy to let her do her own thing because they're confident she will settle into the megacorporate lifestyle eventually.

Sexually, Kit "is no nun", and has many notches on her belt, but it's fun, really. I'm sure some of her exploits may have been...in less than ideal and conventionally-desirable situations, but I think with the right tone that's fine. I think CapturePoint writes Kitraandra pretty well, and from what I've seen LM seems to like the scenarios they come up with too.

Regarding my NSFW audio script, I was inspired by the lore LM had revealed on his tumblr, and by the works of erotic audio on the GoneWildAudio subreddit. It is primarily amateur work, and there's a wide variety of genres, kinks, and quality on there. A lot of it is "meh", but there's also some really high quality stuff, like from Kitt Nevada and IvyWilde_VA (Kitt stars in Yuki: Space Assassin, which is also an inspiration for the script in terms of production quality, and to some extent scripting too)

The summary is that Kit is bored and horny in orbit, talking to her ship AI, waiting for intel on a mysterious asset she's been sent to find for a shadowy contractor. After getting a sudden alert, she drops down to the alien planet, and extracts the asset from the clutches of some mercenaries and gangsters. After a tense firefight on the ground, she manages to escape on her ship.

The asset turns out to be an "ancient" human. For context, in her lore, she lives in the distant future, where many of the alien species evolved from modern humans in some way. Her people found some "ancient" humans in cryosleep (probably from like the 2100's) and one of them became her father, so Kitraandra is actually half alien (Varkeeg) and half human. There are only like 10 known ancient humans (including her father) in the universe, so it makes sense why finding another one would be such a big deal.

The human was injured during the firefight, and so Kit heals him, and finds immediately him attractive. After some tense exchanges about who he is and what he wants, they start to relax around each other. He was being made a trophy slave for a crime lord, like how some rich people like to keep exotic animals. Kit bonds somewhat over the feeling of being forced to into a role. She also relates to being an outsider, since she always stood out due to being an alien hybrid, instead of a regular Varkeeg.

Due to damage received on her ship, her FTL isn't working as fast as it should, so they'll be stuck together for a few days.

Cut to: raunchy sex scene, I mean these two and going ham on each other. Fun time all round. I'm imagining the facial art from the game as actually being the "climax" of this scene.

Afterwards, turns out that Kit was hired to rescue the human by her mother, which annoys her because "mom! You know I hate it when you do that" but also she feels okay about putting the human under the protection of her mother's corporation because she knows he won't be abused. They part ways after the one night stand, and she blasts off to her next adventure.

The End. (Yay)

The script started out as smut, but as I learned more about Kit and her lore, I wanted it to be something that encompassed more of what she's really about (in my eyes) as a character.

[virtual-toast]

Scream Queens VH1 recap - Season 1 Episode 2

Michelle, Sarah, Kylah, and Jessica come back from the grand ballroom and the rest of the girls are shocked and/or pissed that Jo-Anne went home instead of Kylah. Lindsay says “This house will mourn the loss of Jo-Anne” and Sarah, in tears, calls her “such a sensational actress”, which are both super melodramatic reactions, you knew Jo-Anne for three days, but okay. Meanwhile Kylah has no idea why everyone is upset that she’s still there haha.

The following day sees Kylah declaring the house has been divided into the “queen bitches” (herself, Michelle, Lina, and Angela) and the “more homely girls” (Marissa, Lindsay, and Sarah). I’m assuming she’s put Tanedra and Jessica in the latter category too but she doesn’t mention them specifically. The bitchy girls talk shit about the other girls behind their backs, specifically about how they think Sarah didn’t deserve to win the previous episode, that she’s ugly and annoying, etc.

The girls meet up with Shawnee who tells them they have 15 minutes to dress themselves up and impress a casting director (Kelly Wagner, who seems pretty cool tbh) with the winner getting a guaranteed callback. While getting ready, Michelle and Angela mention that if the winner is not one of the bitchy girls, the competition must be rigged. An awful lot of confidence for week 2, lol.

The girls go back into the room with Shawnee and meet Kelly. They take turns doing a sort of one on one interview / audition, which I’m gonna summarise in dot points because they each get a small amount of screen time:

Lindsay talks about being a child actor and Kelly says that means she probably actually has a harder job than someone just starting out. Lindsay is wearing a weird sort of frilly top and skirt with polka dots but it somehow doesn’t really work for her shape, and Kelly mentions it as well as Shawnee straight up calling her frumpy. True, but also, rude.

Lina goes up and immediately shakes Kelly’s hand. She doesn’t even get a word out before Kelly is like “yeah no, don’t shake casting directors’ hands, personal space / germs” etc.

Kylah talks about playing Price is Right with her brother which Kelly says is a bad choice because she’s automatically associating herself with being a model rather than an actress. Kylah proceeds to mention that she wants to “get ugly, get dirty, like Halle Berry did in Monster.” cringe

Marissa gets up and starts off on this huge spiel about how horror films are like modern Greek tragedies and everyone is just staring at her like GIRL WHAT.

Michelle introduces herself and Kelly asks if she primarily does theatre because of her big personality. Michelle proceeds to brag about being Miss Teen Texas.

Jessica is wearing a smart-casual outfit of jeans and a simple white top with her trademark giant hoop earrings. Kelly comments on her look being unique. Jessica is kinda speaking like a cute little girl who doesn’t want to let the evil out??

Angela mentions how she thinks she has the stereotypical horror “look”. Her outfit isn’t relevant but I have to mention it anyway - it honestly looks like she cut the top off a blue evening gown to wear as a shirt?? and then just jeans. Like idk.

Sarah introduces herself and Kelly immediately comments on her unique nasally voice.

Tanedra tells Kelly that she has no formal training. Kelly says “And you think you can beat out all these girls?” and Tanedra’s like YES. Fuck yeah get it girl.

So Kelly goes ahead and gives her overall impressions - Kylah has no personality, Angela has the best horror look, Lindsay looks like the best friend rather than the leading lady, Marissa is the one she didn’t remember, and she liked Jessica’s personal style. Ultimately she gives Jessica the guaranteed callback, and also sends Lindsay and Marissa for makeovers which Michelle finds hilarious.

The girls go back into the house and Kylah proceeds to have a tantrum about not winning, stating that if the casting director was a man the results would have been different. But get this, she DOES NOT CHANGE EXPRESSION THE ENTIRE TIME. Even when she’s yelling “I’M ABOUT TO CRY” she literally just has this blank look on her face like is she actually made of wax?? Meanwhile Lindsay and Marissa have their makeovers, Lindsay gets a cool short reverse A-line bob cut and looks really badass, while Marissa gets her hair dyed jet black and cut in choppy layers. It looks fine but you can tell by her face Marissa is not happy.

The girls go to Homa’s class and since the week is all about first impressions, they have to do freeze frame shots of particular expressions, I guess so they can see what they actually look like vs. what they think they look like or something. Most of the girls do pretty well, Tanedra kills it again, Marissa bombs, and Kylah once again LITERALLY DOES NOT CHANGE EXPRESSION. What the fuck.

Back at the house the girls are all gushing over Lindsay and Marissa’s makeovers, Michelle voices her jealousy despite earlier thinking it was hilarious, and Angela is mad that she’s no longer the only one with her “look”, even though she and Marissa don’t look the same at all, the only similarity is the colour of their hair?? Marissa goes and has a cry about her hair because she’s now lost all her confidence and honestly it’s actually kinda sad / hard to watch.

The next day they find one of the rooms in the house has been filled with creepy dolls and of course one of them is actually a person that jumps out and scares them because omg what a funny prank haha. The “doll” tells them their director’s challenge is a photoshoot which many of the girls are stoked about. They’re basically given generic horror themes and have to shoot the poster. Dot points again!

Lina gets “Tie Die” and her costume is literally a length of rope that’s wrapped around her. She immediately cracks the shits and goes into full blown diva mode, complaining about her costume, how apparently difficult her theme is compared to other girls, telling the makeup and hair people how to do their jobs, etc. Whaaaaat, Lina is a bitch?? This is brand new information!! Unfortunately she still does a really good job with the photoshoot.

Lindsay gets “Blinded By the Fright” and her costume is a hospital gown and white contact lenses, which she has difficulty putting in but is EXTREMELY polite about it with the makeup lady (a nice juxtaposition to Lina’s bitch fest). Lindsay also does really well in the photoshoot.

Kylah gets “Thin Skin” which she comments sounds like a porno, lmao. Her costume is literally just black liquid latex painted all over her body and the other girls are fucking FROTHING with jealously. Kylah proceeds to completely bomb the challenge, giving absolutely no emotion and James literally has no idea how to direct her.

Michelle gets “Don’t Go in the Water” and is basically just wearing a bikini, but then James dumps a bottle of cold water all over her. She does really well in the photoshoot.

Sarah gets “Blood Skate”, her costume is just a bloody ice skating outfit, and she does okay.

Tanedra gets “Prom Scream”, she is wearing a bloody prom dress, and she does really well.

Jessica gets “The Butcher’s Girl” and she’s literally wearing a hat, gloves, no shirt, just an apron and shorts? And there’s blood? This one confuses me. She does okay.

Angela gets “Monster’s Wedding” which some of the other girls (correctly) complain is SUPER easy - she’s literally in a wedding dress posing with a bloody hand prop. She does fine but I mean all she has to do is stand there and smile??

Marissa gets “Mummy Maker” and she’s wrapped in what I assume are bandages but it looks like toilet paper? She’s pretty covered, including the bottom half of her face, and she’s supposed to be seductive but honestly it kinda just feels like an awkward interpretive dance??

The next day back at the house, Marissa vents to the other girls about her insecurity with her new hair. Like I know it’s just hair but it’s kinda sad, they completely changed her look which obviously fucks with her confidence. The girls get their photoshoot posters and everyone is stoked except Marissa (rightfully) and Lindsay, who basically has an anxiety attack and hates hers even though everyone is telling her how great it is. Whoo boy I relate to Lindsay so hard. Jessica reads the list which summons Marissa, Kylah, Lindsay, and Lina to the grand ballroom. They all think they’re at the bottom except Lina, who of course thinks she’s top shit.

In the grand ballroom, Lina gets pulled forward and despite doing well in the challenge, the judges straight up read her for being a bitch, which is hella satisfying let me tell you. Lindsay gets pulled forward and the judges tell her that she did an awesome job and that she needs to go easier on herself, before awarding her the week’s leading lady. Marissa and Kylah are predictably the bottom two, Marissa gets told she’s overthinking everything and Kylah just that she’s completely emotionless. Kylah gets the axe and Marissa lives another week.

Stay tuned for Season 1 Episode 3!

[tothedarkdarkseas]

Do you think murdoc is uncomfortable with his more feminine side? What things do you think he's holding back on doing? How would that change the band's perception of him?

TW for misogyny, and a cut for length!

I think there’s such a fascinating contradictory nature to Murdoc, in that he does have this feminine energy and yet much of his behavior is very much defined by a deep-set toxic masculinity. He’ll wear “women’s” cosmetics, knickers, heels– as in proper, red stiletto heels– but still make very crude and frankly objectifying comments, and he’ll use pretty insensitive language especially if there’s an opportunity to get a rise out of Stu. I think he is “comfortable” to a certain extent with what he likes, at the 30+ age at least; he’s not so in denial as he might’ve been before 18 and he’s not so secretive as he might’ve been at 24, and he assigns less “meaning” to it than Stu does pretty much up to recent years… but I also don’t think Murdoc would appreciate being seen “like a girl” to people he isn’t sleeping with, not in early phases at least. I used this example before, but it’s that sort of funny juxtaposition between Murdoc pretty much asking Stu to emasculate him and make degrading comments, but then turning around and belittling Stu for showing emotions he perceives as feminine. I don’t think he’s trying to be contradictory or that he’s really even aware that he is, it’s just a conflict between desire and learned behavior and both of those, at the stage he’s at now, are really innate, reactive impulses. Growing up as he did and where he did, I’d imagine that unlearning not only the discomfort but the judgment toward emotion would be a challenge. I don’t necessarily believe Murdoc consciously thinks anything like “I can’t cry because crying is for girls,” but yet when Stu cries, it’s almost kneejerk to mock him by insinuating that he’s “acting like a girl,” despite the fact that he’d offered 10 minutes ago to, er, be put in a “feminine” position by Stu.

As far as femininity outside the bedroom, I think Murdoc has a harder time expressing that until he factors it into something that benefits him, as he generally does, and essentially connects it to self-gratification anyway– for example, to be seen by Stu wearing “women’s” undergarments gives him a thrill, whereas very early on in his success, to sincerely show up at an event wearing a blouse and skirt would feel a bit like panto to him, he wouldn’t even have the respect for himself that he’d supposedly expect anyone else to have, he’d feel like a source of mockery to himself. I don’t necessarily think it stopped him very slightly wading into that, but early on I think there’s a reason you don’t tend to see Murdoc’s style as quite so fluid, and when the cameras or interviews shift toward his erotic life he suddenly becomes a lot more forward about these things. I reckon at first he has to sort of work everything into his sexual behavior in order to feel he gets something out of it, and at that point, it can exist outside of personal shame. He’d also make comments about “feminine” activities (like getting his arsehole waxed, still not over that) but I think he’d either deliver those things in a joking tone– Murdoc deflecting anything and everything with comedy is pretty much a core character trait– or he’d again loop it back into being something gratifying, something he intends to be judged on his own terms for. That’s the tricky tightrope with Murdoc, there are things he relishes when he’s “allowed them” that also unnerve him in a fight-or-flight-response way when he doesn’t feel like he’s let them happen. It’s the difference between Stu uncomfortably insinuating something and Murdoc taking it a step beyond and saying something far cruder than Stu would’ve, and a gossip rag running an article that insinuated all the same things. If Stu wanted to call him “less of a man” he would get the chance to ask for it again, slower this time, he’d get the option to eroticize that and have consent over it– but if The Sun says that it’s just out there, it’s just something talentless, unaccomplished strangers or some old fucking cunts in Stoke can read and have a laugh at.

Of course, more recent phases of Gorillaz have made Murdoc much more openly comfortable with feminine style, which I’m all for and encourage Jamie to continue drawing, so if we’re going to step away from being problematic about these old British geezers for once on this blog… you could certainly say he’s hit a point of more sincere self-realization, or simply not caring in a more modern age. I’m cool with that. His crying also contradicts… a lot of what I’ve characterized about his emotional stunting, but y’know, Gorillaz canon cares not for whatever I’ve got going on and that’s fine, haha.

As for how it would change the band’s perception of him�� it would depend on the phase, but honestly not that much. Stu already has highly conflicting and highly volatile feelings about Murdoc from the start, and after PB he’d have much more defining and more damning impressions of Murdoc– if anything, to see Murdoc express his feminine side in his older age would alarm Stu a lot less than if he’d done it in their “youth” (relatively speaking, Murdoc wasn’t all that young) and if we choose to go nicer with it, it might be sort of quietly reassuring to him that Murdoc’s addressing some of his hang-ups, knowing Murdoc as he’s known him. (If we choose to go less nice, he’s simply beyond that immature stage of being scandalized by Murdoc’s relationship to gender or sexuality, Murdoc doesn’t shock and entice him anymore, he just damages and disappoints. But y’know, your choice! I’d say it’s a little of both, and gets nicer the more distance they get from PB.) As for the others, I think Noodle is young enough that as a child it wouldn’t mean anything to her, and as an adult she’s simply of a newer generation. Her relationship to Murdoc is already complicated and, in my mind, not especially flattering either; if anything, depending on how good their relationship is at the time she might have similar thoughts to Stu. Russel I also don’t see as being overly involved in his bandmates’ lives and would likely care the least. I realize that’s mainly just referring to open outer expression like wardrobe or activities, but it’s hard to conceptualize what is “feminine” in a way everyone in the band would agree on, as I don’t think Russel and Noodle would have the same toxic masculinity that Stu and Murdoc are working through.

[comicteaparty]

February 24th-March 1st, 2020 CTP Archive

The archive for the Comic Tea Party week long chat that occurred from February 24th, 2020 to March 1st, 2020.  The chat focused on Whispers of the Past by Crona J.

Featured Comment:

Chat:

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB START!

Hello and welcome everyone to Comic Tea Party’s Book Club~! This week we’ll be focusing on Whispers of the Past by Crona J.~! (https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366)

You are free to read and comment about the comic all week at your own pace until March 1st, so stop on by whenever it suits your schedule! Discussions are freeform, but we do offer discussion prompts in the pins for those who’d like to have them. Additionally, remember that while constructive criticism is allowed, our focus is to have fun and appreciate the comic! Whether you finish the comic or can only read a few pages, everyone is welcome to join and chat with us!

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 1

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic?

2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)?

3. Who is your favorite character?

4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?

5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it!

6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores?

7. What do you like about the comic’s story or overall related content?

8. Overall, what do you think the comic’s strengths are?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

FeatheryJustice

So far, first impressions, holy cow the art is amazing.

Ash🦀

1. My favorite part about the beginning was the style. It immediately drew me in how everything was lovingly rendered in color that made me feel like I was seeing the world for the first time. It made me want to paint, too! 2. When we first see the man. Whoo buddy. Whoooooooo buddy. That was... a finely sculpted painting there. I could’ve framed him and hung him on my wall if the artist would let me. WHOOOO BUDDY. 3. My favorite character so far is Martel. I don’t write them often, but I love seeing kids in media, and I love the design of her hair. I know it’s a random thing to make me like her but I just... really like her hairstyle. She’s cute, and I’d guess she’ll be a breath of much-needed light air later in the story. 4. Mystery man and Martel are precious. 5. I point to answer 2 here. That lovingly sculpted chest? My heart was a-flutter I tell you what. 6. The art style is just... SO LOVINGLY RENDERED. The quiet moments of baking bread juxtaposed against a chaotic battle was SO. GOOD. Aaaaaah Could also be that that particular part is my favorite part of making bread so it was extra special aaaaaaah 7-8 I haven’t seen enough of the story to answer these yet! But the art is banging and I can’t wait to read more. Subscribed.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

I've read this before and the art and story aren't really my thing. Since critique is allowed I could give art comments if CronaJ would find that kind of thing helpful? But even though I won't be following the story I was still impressed by how much care the author puts into it. Both from looking at their comic and from reading their comments on this discord and on the tap forum it's clear they've put a ton of effort into the art and story, and haven't cut any corner.s And all the panels are so rendered. I wonder how long it takes to draw a page?(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hey everyone! I'm the artist and writer of Whispers of the Past. I want to thank you all for your kind comments and observations so far. It really means a lot to me to hear what others think of this heartfelt project. I know that the story is in the beginning stages right now. But I'm looking to post the end of the first chapter this week, so hopefully a bit more will be revealed soon. Please feel free to ask me questions about anything, or (to answer @Eightfish (Puppeteer)'s question), to offer critiques for how I can improve what I'm doing.(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@FeatheryJustice & @Ash🦀 I'm glad you enjoy the artwork. The painting process is probably what takes me the longest when it comes to pages. In response to @Eightfish (Puppeteer)... It takes me around 30-40 hours per page, and I try to post 2-3 page updates. Obviously, the amount of time spent per page varies depending on several factors, such as: the number of panels, the level of complication of poses, how many characters/background elements there are, and sometimes just whatever weird reason my brain isn't working that day ^^; So for my average 5-7 panel pages, they typically take longer than, say, a full-page spread. @Ash🦀 I'm so happy that the first few pages pulled you in! I spent a lot of time deciding on how I wanted to draw those panels, and what style to use, etc. I actually redrew the first 3 pages at least 5 times before settling on them as they are. And, you can hang and frame the image of our male MC if you want, haha, I actually don't have prints of it, but it is something to consider That particular panel was a one-page spread, so I was able to dedicate a bit more detail to it. Maret is a worthy favorite character. She is too pure and precious, and she just wants to make friends with everybody. Even when the "strange man" is kind of curt and unfriendly to her, she wants to befriend him. Also, I am SO unbelievably glad that you picked up on the juxtaposition in the bread-making scene! Ahhhh! I had a lot of fun with that one

FeatheryJustice

1. The Pacing, I love slow starts to comics because I get to absorb it and learn more. 2. Favourite Moment? Dude trying to climb out the window and failing. That was really funny XD 3. Mysterious dude from the water of course. He has pointed ears, you know something is up. 4. I like Maret and the mysterious man, it seems like a child being like 'this is new and I want to learn more' Also thank you for not writing a grating child character. They sometimes turn up too pure to be real, or too grating because they are too real. Maret at least has that nice balance of a healthy child will not acted spoiled but still want things because child like the scene where she was shoo'ed out of the room. 5. I think we talked about htis a long time ago, but I love the way you draw hands and feet! 6. Nothing so far, not sure where the story will head so I can't answer this. 7. I like the start of the mystery and the slow ramp up. We are just getting comfortable and I'm sure we are going to get rocky soon! 8. Art, from seeing Cronaj spend so much time on it, it's freaking amazing. I can almost feel the characters come to life.

Also on a side note, I want Maret to hear from the Conch shell (As a memey joke) "Under the sea, under the sea" XD

(Mysterious man has red hair, I wouldn't be surprised he turned out to be a mermaid XD Sorry I'm just on slight crack theory mode right now. He didn't sell his voice though)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

When I was first writing and planning this comic, I was a little scared about how slow the start was, but I'm glad that it has been interesting despite the slow nature of the exposition.

2. Favourite Moment? Dude trying to climb out the window and failing. That was really funny XD

@FeatheryJustice Accurate! He's kind of an idiot, and he panics over nothing. For Maret... I actually based her character partially off of my two younger sisters, so that might be a lot of what contributes to her personality and realism. We did talk about hands and feet before! I love drawing hands, because they are so expressive and complex, but hate drawing feet because they are complicated. But I did study from life to draw Maret's feet, because I felt like I would mess it up otherwise ^^;

Hahahaha! I could definitely make an edit of that, tbh.

FeatheryJustice

That would be a funny joke panel if you ever want to do one. XD It's like replace the diaolgue memes XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

And I was partially making a mermaid joke when I had the reference to mermaids in the comic because he is a redhead

Definitely an idea....

I would title the episode "Whispers of the Crack"

FeatheryJustice

OMG YES I would love to see that XD

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

I have a WotP meme folder on my computer already

carcarchu

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? Mystery man pretty 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? i liked the part where maret was listening to the conch for mermaids, had a lovely magical charm to it 3. Who is your favorite character? mystery man 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most? not too many interactions so far but maret and the mystery man were cute 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! the sunset scenery had a nice vibe

also i can see why people were saying it reminded them of ruroni kenshin, mystery guy especially with his hair up and on the cover image is reminiscent of kenshin but storywise doesn't remind me of it at all

carcarchu

I have some critiques that i'll cover in case you don't want to see them. SPOILER The anime-ish emotes (the blush and the anger vein) to me clash against the realistic artsyle and detracts from the moments, some more subtlety with them would be appreciated. And Maret doesn't really look like a child to me, her face is very mature so it makes her look older than she is. Moreover the 3 characters that have been introduced thus far have very similar facial features. For maret and agatha they are siblings so it makes sense but the mystery man is (presumably?) not related to them so i'm not sure if that's intentional. In any case more facial diversity would be appreciated going forward (if it's just your style that's fine too). And this is a really small nit-pick but the first panel of chapter 6 has horse hooves with the sfx thump thump thump. In my opinion this sfx should be clip clop clip clop END SPOILER

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@carcarchu Thanks for the notes! I actually had a hard time deciding how to portray blush noticeably in a more realistic style, haha, but I can definitely see why it's jarring. Do you have any tips for how to depict blushing without anime emotes? I would just make it more reddish/pink, but it always looks weird to me (or too unnoticeable). As for Maret... She looks like a child to me? She's six, so she isn't quite a toddler, so I don't know if that changes your perception of her. She actually resembles my youngest sister a great deal, and my youngest sister was 5, almost six, when I designed her. (I just looked through the pages again, and there's maybe one panel that I think she looks slightly older in, so if anything, I'll try to fix that panel.) So yes, obviously Agatha and Maret look very similar, hahaha. They are biological sisters, so that makes sense. There will be at least two more characters introduced that are also related to them (and look fairly similar as well) and one character who will be mentioned who is also related and looks just like Agatha. Other than that, Izrekiel does look somewhat similar, I suppose, but it might also be partially that he canonically has a very feminine face as opposed to other male characters to be introduced later. It could be that and also a bit as a result of my style. I'm not sure. Ahhhh, sound effects! I also struggled with deciding what to do here. I wanted to do something different than "clip clop," mostly for a stupid personal hang-up. (I don't know why, but "clip clop" always looks so comical to me.) But if it helps translate the sound better, I might just have to bite the bullet and change it. Thanks for your feedback! Even if I don't agree with all of it, it does help me to take a closer look at what I've done with some different eyes. (edited)

carcarchu

That's fair! You don't have to accept anything just my thoughts (i hope nothing i said was too harsh) for me thump thump is a dull sound whereas clip clop or clippity clop is a sharper and harsher sound

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

yeah, I think you're right about that

thump is more like a heartbeat

or someone falling on carpet or something

carcarchu

and as for the blush question i think there are ways to depict a similar emotion without relying on the blush itself as a short hand like the softening of the eyes, the shape of the eyebrows, looking down and heck even body language can help with this. expression is more than what is shown on just the face

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Thank you. I always feel like my characters look too stiff, like mannequins. ^^; I'm probably not going to completely redraw any old panels at this point, but I might make a few alterations to these panels to make it more consistent with later panels down the line.

carcarchu

i also noticed that a lot of your panels are the characters looking straight towards the "camera" and i would appreciate more varied angles and perspectives

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Particularly with the first ten pages, that is certainly true

I got that note before, but I didn't redraw every panel, only some which looked particularly bad.

carcarchu

personally i never edit old chapters unless i 1. forgot to draw something important 2. there's a huge typo 3. it's missing a panel

any critique you can just keep in your heart and implement if you choose to do so moving forward

keii'ii (Heart of Keol)

2. I really liked "what if it's mama?" - a lot of hints condensed there: family history, how the topic of deaths/ disappearances are handled around children (either in that family specifically, or in that culture), and also a moment that shows a glimpse of Agatha's sisterly love instead of having the readers assume it.

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

Really loving the comic so far! Right now, I'm most interested to learn about this family situation. I'm guessing their mother is dead or missing, but what about their father? I suppose his clothes were still in the house so maybe he just went out? Or maybe they're both missing and it was just fairly recent?

Also, the paint-y style of this comic is just incredible

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

https://media.tenor.com/images/878a64d90a1139bcb1e863ee29bfa929/tenor.gif

I'm so happy that you guys picked up on the clues about their mother. It alludes to some pretty plot heavy stuff that very few people have really commented on so far.

eli [a winged tale]

Oooh I’m so excited for your story Cronaj! Here are my answers~ 1) I love the beach scene! Maret with the shell is adorable and you established their relationship right away 2) Fav moment is probably the scene transition to our lad waking up with Agatha going about her day. It’s very peaceful and I’m a sucker for slice of life stuff. 3) Can’t pick just yet~ I like Agatha as a solid protagonist though. 4) More Agatha x mystery man please 5) I loooove the illustration aesthetics. Bold colours! 6) haven’t gotten to the core theme yet I’m sure but first impressions/meeting are always exciting. 7) I’m excited for what is to come. Can’t wait for the call to adventure. 8) Strength is definitely the art - beautiful and bold. Keep up the wonderful work!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@eli [a winged tale] Woah!!! You're the first person I've heard say that they like Agatha! She's mah girl! (And don't you worry, there will definitely be a lot more Agatha x Mystery Man ) Thanks for participating

eli [a winged tale]

she’s a solid sister!

sagaholmgaard

1. What did you like about the beginning of the comic? I like how the intro had a nice balance between art and text. Usually if there’s a lot of text on the first page I can get deterred from heading a comic, but here I think it worked really well! And the loverly painting of the ocean sunset also reeled me in and fit really well with the poetic text! 2. What has been your favorite moment in the comic (so far)? ”He’s the prettiest man I’ve ever seen!” LOL (and she’s right too…) 3. Who is your favorite character? I like the kid! But I’m excited to learn more about the other characters as the story goes on! 4. Which characters do like seeing interact the most?
I liked Agatha and Mystery Man interacting, it felt very natural and I’m curious to see what comes of it. But the dialogue felt pretty strong which I gotta applaud 5. What is something you like about the art? If you have a favorite illustration, please share it! The beautiful shot of Mystery Man on the beach of course, lol! I love the way the hair is rendered, it really feels like it’s has weight and is spread out in the sand, if that makes sense? 6. What is a theme you like that the comic explores? It seems like it will explore a lot of interesting themes in the future, such as grief and finding where you belong, so again I’m interested to see what the story brings! I’m sure it’ll be good no matter what :D Overall I like what I’ve read so far! It’s not the type of art style I usually gravitate towards, but I can tell a lot of love is going into rendering and I think we’ll be seeing Crona’s art improve a lot as the story goes on, which is always exciting to see!

RebelVampire

What I like about the beginning of the comic, which also goes for what I like about the art in general, is the attention to detail in the background colors and lighting. I've never seen such a beautifully rendered (what I assume is) a sunset. It really makes everything have this great almost mystical atmosphere to it. In general, though, the art so far is definitely the comic's strength because you can see the sheer passion in every drop of it. My favorite moment so far is when Maret gives Izrekiel some flowers and then drags him off and he's just meekly protesting. It was both cute and comedic and the preciousness hurt my heart. This is also why this is my favorite pair of characters interacting so far. I think the age gap combined with the context of Izrekiel's situation is gonna lead to lots of awkwardness that I look forward to. As for fave character, though, I would have to go with Agatha right now. I don't know what it is about her, but everytime I see her I feel like I'm looking at an old soul. Like maybe someone who still has a lot to learn about the world, but is wise beyond her years in other regards. And it makes her a captivating character for me.

While I'm not sure if this will be an overall theme throughout, I like that the comic starts to deal with the theme of loss and hope. On one side you have Agatha who just kind of accepts loss and deals with it, and then you have Maret who just lives on in hope. And I kind of feel they represent two dynamic sides to the issue about whether its better to cling to hope or just move on and deal and how both can be harmful if not expressed in the correct way. As for overall story content, while we're not that deep in, I do like it starts with a multitude of mysteries cause mysteries are always great for making ppl want answers

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Since Crona said they were good with art critique: The main thing I noticed when I first saw the art was that, though lovingly rendered, the characters' faces and bodies are kind of stiff. They don't really scrunch up their eyes and faces when they emote- it's mostly just the eyebrows (this was especially noticable when Maret was crying, or on the latest page, first panel, where Agatha's face doesn't really match her body language or words). And characters often don't seem to twist their bodies as much as they should. Oh- also the same camera angles of faces and bodies are repeated a lot. Front, 3/4, and profile. It'd be cool to see some shots with foreshortening from above or below the characters. Also the lighting is pretty diffuse- the characters seem to be shaded about the same way, and with the same colors, regardless of the lighting situation. I can still tell where the light is coming from, because there are those strong bright highlights in the direction of the light, but other than the bright highlights everything else seems to be shaded as if there was another light source coming from straight ahead. Also, sometimes characters seem to lose their shadows? Like on this page https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/ch-1-what-the-waves-left-behind-pt-3/viewer?title_no=191366&episode_no=4 where Agatha doesn't cast a shadow on the man, or this page https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/ch-1-what-the-waves-left-behind-pt-8/viewer?title_no=191366&episode_no=10 where they're running.

Those things being said though, I was still very impressed by the sheer amount of effort put into this comic. 100 hours/ update is absolutely insane. And you pay so much attention to the inanimate objects of this world. It makes the story feel grounded. About what someone else said: I agree that the cartoonish blush looks out of place. But I disagree about Maret- I think she does look like a child. 5. Favorite illustration? Definitely Agatha's hands when making dough. Not a critique but just a question: I was confused on the location of the story. Where is this?

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Ooof. Finally got a chance to sit down and respond to all these comments. I keep rereading them over and over again, so thank you so much for sharing your thoughts everyone! I've noticed a few themes with what people have commented so far: Maret is most people's favorite character, the panel of Izrekiel on the beach is also very popular, and the theme of loss/grief is apparent to the readers (which I'm very happy about.)

@sagaholmgaard I'm glad that you mentioned the theme of "finding where you belong" too, because it is and will be a very prevalent theme in the comic. And reading your comment about how the dialogue seems natural made my day. I used to worry about how the dialogue came off constantly, and to hear that it's strong is so encouraging.

@RebelVampire As is expected, your comments are very thought-out. The interaction between Izrekiel and Maret after he falls from the window is one of my favorite moments so far as well. I'm happy that Izrekiel's behavior came off as meek in this scene, because that is one of the defining traits of his personality. I'm glad for another Agatha fan! She is such a fun (and difficult) character for me to portray. There are so many layers about her that even I am still discovering. She is definitely an old soul, and he experiences growing up have definitely matured her beyond her years. As I mentioned before, the theme of loss is definitely a major theme of the comic overall. And hope as well, since I think the two are very connected.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Thank you for offering your critiques! Character stiffness is definitely one of my major problems that I'm working at. I definitely see what you mean about Agatha's face in the latest update. Her eyebrows look painted on (pun not intended). I have been looking forward to having some more dynamic poses, especially foreshortening, but I do find it somewhat difficult when most of what the characters are doing so far are standing, sitting, talking, and maybe doing something with their hands. ^^; Hopefully, in the future, when more "action" happens, it will be easier to do this. As for bird's eye or worm's eye shots, I'm not gonna lie, I struggle with them so much. I had two bird's eye panels, and those took so much time, and I still don't know how I feel about them. If you have any tips for exercises, I would be so grateful. (Finding reference isn't always possible.) I also would love some tips/resources on how to get better at lighting. Again, lighting reference isn't always possible for specific panels, so it would help me a lot to learn how light works in general. OOOOOOF! I don't know how I missed the lack of shadow on Izrekiel in that panel. That was 100% a stupid oversight on my part. The scene with Agatha making dough had some of my personal favorite illustrations for a while. :) Also, your question about the location, I'm not entirely sure how to answer it?(edited)

It's a high fantasy story, so the location is entirely fictional.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

The best I can answer that is to say that the story takes place in a country called Shai-Ryam, consisting of four major "districts" in a semi-tropical temperate peninsula called "The Aka Peninsula," named after the native people who originally lived there. As of right now, they are in a city called Gon Atam, a seaside village on the western shore of the Nuata District, near the Ocean of Saturuna. It is a city heavy in trade and with a long history, yet quaint and small due to a disaster several hundred years ago. It is only now being repopulated.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 2

9. Where do you think Izrekiel comes from, and what is his past history that seems to haunt him? Additionally, how do you think he wound up with amnesia and seemingly abandoned by the sea?

10. How will Izrekiel’s past history affect events of the story? In particular, how will revelations about his past affect his relationship with Agatha and other characters?

11. How do you think Agatha’s life will change from her encounter with Izrekiel? Will it somehow lead her to a more exciting life? If so, will it make her miss her simpler life with her family?

12. What are the biggest questions you have so far and are hoping to see answered over the course of the story? Also, what do you think will happen in the story in general?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Ash🦀

9. Okay, so, here’s my theory. Just a guess. So Izrekiel is from a very war-friendly people up north who need land. Izzy just isn’t all about that life, but feels like he has no choice. Then he gets hurt fighting someone close to him (I’m putting money on brother or cousin who lives on the “wrong” side of things, hurt because he just couldn’t fight them at full strength. And then he realizes he can’t do it, while on the ship bound for new fight zones. His captain gets wind of it and is like “oh no I can’t let Mutiny Happen” so HeS all long ike “either fall in line or get off my ship” and Izzy is like “no I don’t wanna fight anymore heck you guys” and the captain proceeds to yeet him off the ship, leading him to the island, which, unbeknownst to him, is the next target. That’s my guess. Might be wildly off. He might be part mermaid. (Merman? Is mermaid gender neutral?) 10. Izzy or his bros probably killed one of Agatha’s family members, possibly the mom? Possibly violently? Which is why she never told babygirl what’s up. It’s probably going to be remembered in the buds of their relationship, hes going to try to hide it but it’ll come to light and she’s gonna be like “Izzy I hate you” and it’s going to make me cry. 11. She’s going to have a bread making partner in the end. They’re going to have adventures and go back to a domestic bread making existence, I speak it into being now /smacks table That may just be what I want to happen, though, as I very much enjoy bread making and wish others the same simple joy of giving dough a good smacking. 12. IS THE MOTHER REALLY A MERMAID OR WHAT Is Agatha a mermaid Are they like Selkies where they can come onto land a little Is babygirl a mermaid too(edited)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Omg... I love reading these theories. I won't say you're wrong or right, but this is a riot. I'm thoroughly enjoying this.

FeatheryJustice

9. Pulls out my Crack Theory brain Okay, so Iz is actually not a very hot man, but actually a really hot princess, transformed into a man since she was exciled from her country but their rules are to give the exiled a new life so they shape shift them into something else. Iz got shifted into a man, and the lovely wide bare chest was because their top was lost to the ocean like how someone would lose their bathing suit top to the sea. Anyways, knowing nothing about themselves, Iz now lives their life as a man never remembering they were a princess in the first place. Ends Crack Theory 10. Don't know, can't say for now. 11. She could always politely kick him out later, so I can't say for now. XD 12. I want to know if there are monsters in this story or just like different species warring it out.

RT|NitghVision

^ I like this theory

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

@Cronaj (Whispers of the Past) Oh! I missed that it was high fantasy. I thought the story was historical fiction. No wonder mystery man has pointed ears. I was so confused- I kept thinking, oh, she looks Polynesian and lives by the ocean. But wait, her name is Agatha and she makes bread? And the houses look Japanese? What culture are her clothes from? The world being completely fictional explains all that. I think I was confused by the real names in a high fantasy story- you don't really see that a lot. Finding the right reference for lighting or pose is impossible for me. I have no tips. The only way I've found is to make my own references. I will sit in front of a window, or take a lamp into a dark room or something, and prop my phone up and take photos of myself in the poses and lighting direction I need. But hey, at least that way I don't have to worry about stealing someone else's work?

(i also like feathery's theory)

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

@FeatheryJustice Crack theories are best theories.

@Eightfish (Puppeteer) Oh! I had no idea you thought it was historical fiction No wonder you were confused! There's a lot of weird cultural-mixing shenanigans going on in the setting, and it's a bit confusing.

I should try that, for now the lighting has been primarily sunlight, or diffused sunlight (which I don't think I depicted correctly).

RebelVampire

Time to crack story theory. I don't know enough about the world to guess a name to where Izrekiel is from. However, wherever it's from, I get the impression its embroiled in a bloody war that is suffering heavy casualties. I imagine that Izrekiel mightve been in a battle and just wound up in the sea by circumstance - like maybe was taken as a prisoner of war and jumped overboard to escape. Something like that. As for the amnesia, well, Imma chock that up to PTSD cause the brief flashbacks we got don't look pleasant. However, I definitely think someone will come looking for him, and that these someone's will make trouble with the people he's just met - perhaps even forcing them to abandon their home with people in pursuit. And I'm sure as Izrekiel remembers more, others are going to really view him as potentially dangerous and blame him (but then get over it cause he's pretty O_O) Given that, I do think Agatha is gonna leave home because of Izrekiel's past running after them. I do think she's inevitably gonna miss the simpler life. Not to the point she won't rise to the challenge, but to the point that she's gonna be like "wait theres danger out here and i didnt even get a sword from an old man in a cave!" As for biggest questions, right now I'm just kind of hoping to see more of the world cause current world events really are gonna dictate a lot where the story could go.

Eightfish (Puppeteer)

Dude I was literally googling the names to see what country they were from because I thought they were from some obscure real island with a history of cultural mixing that I hadn't heard about before.

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Hahaha! Yeah, Agatha is an English name. Maret and Kelan (a character that hasn't been introduced yet) are Irish names. Aalia (another character that isn't introduced yet) is an Arabic name. Kehhasan (another character) is a made-up name. Izrekiel is a made-up name inspired by the biblical names Israel and Ezekiel (although technically it is often spelled in their alphabet as "Isarikieru," which has a particular meaning and pronunciation in an even older—fictional—language). Ryukou (another character), is a real-ish name, based off of the Japanese names "Ryu" and "Kou," which mean "dragon" and "peace/light" respectively. Four other characters have fictional names: Ia, Tammamori, Soro, Ghita (although technically it's a Greek name, that wasn't my inspiration). And of course there are hundreds of side characters with a combination of weird names and name origins.

Comic Tea Party

DISCUSSION PROMPTS – PART 3

13. What are you most looking forward to seeing in regards to the comic?

14. Any final words of encouragement for the comic?

Don’t feel inspired by the prompts? Feel free to discuss anything else that interested you!

Deo101 [Millennium]

So! I don't really do so well with answering questions, but I do want to say it's inspiring to me to see just how much WORK is put into this comic. It's really lovely to see so clearly how much you care for it. Just want to give some general words of encouragement, keep it up!

Ash🦀

I’m most looking forward to seeing more of Izzy how the story develops along with your painting. There are so many hints and peeks at the world, and I can’t really guess where it’s going. I feel like I already care for these characters, and I can’t wait to see their journey. I am also not good at encouragement, as generally I’m fueled by spite. But I just wanted to say, keep going! You got this! We believe in you!

eli [a winged tale]

Keep up the good work Cronaj! Your art is beautiful and I can’t wait till we start rolling into act 2!

FeatheryJustice

I'm excited to see what else comes up next!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement everyone! I'm so happy to know that you are enjoying the story so far!

RebelVampire

I'm most looking to learning a bit more about the world structure I think. Since I think current events are really gonna hint at a lot what's going on. As for final words, this is an artistically wonderful comic with a lot of love put in, and I can only imagine how things will improve in the future!

snuffysam (Super Galaxy Knights)

I'm just really looking forward to seeing these characters grow! This is a beautiful comic, and I can't wait to get more of it!

Cronaj (Whispers of the Past)

Before the book club ends, I just wanted to pop back in and say thank you to everyone for their participation. Your kindness, insight, and critiques will stay with me for years to come. I'm so happy to have found a supportive community of readers and fellow creators!

Comic Tea Party

BOOK CLUB END!

Thank you everyone so much for reading and chatting about Whispers of the Past this week! Please also give a special thank you to Crona J. for volunteering the comic and creating it! If you liked Whispers of the Past, make sure to continue to support it via some of the links below!

Read and Comment: https://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/whispers-of-the-past/list?title_no=191366

Crona J.’s Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/cronasonlyfriend

Crona J.’s Ko-Fi: https://ko-fi.com/cronaj

Crona J.’s Twitter: https://twitter.com/CronajArt

[the-dbh-enthusiasts-blog]

I Wish it Was Quiet pt. 2

Part 1

Characters: Gavin, Reader, mention of Connor

Pairing: Gavin x Reader

Warnings: None

Word count: 1.6k+

Summary: Gavin comes to check up on you after you left work earlier that morning. Upon arriving with coffee he offers to do some of the things that calm you down, including letting you paint his nails.

The sound of your apartment doorbell ringing out brought you out of your drowsy half-awake state. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and haphazardly threw your blanket over the back of your couch.

The couch? You'd fallen asleep on your couch upon arriving from a short day at work. As soon as you'd sat down you were out. You even still had your work clothes on. After Gavin had convinced you to leave work early in your less than ideal state you'd almost fallen asleep on the bus ride home. Wow, you'd really only been at work for an hour and a half before Gavin convinced you to throw the towel in.

The doorbell rang again, bringing you from your hazy recalling. With your hair in slight disarray and wrinkled work clothes you made your way to the door, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

You opened the door and were immediately met with the glare of the sun, while low in the sky it still cast enough light to prove uncomfortable after having just woken up. You adjusted to the glare and focused your vision on the figure standing in the doorway. It was Gavin. He was holding a cardboard container with two coffees, the other hand ready to ring your doorbell again. It took a few seconds for you to process. “Gavin? What, how did you find my address?” You inquired, obviously still drowsy. He rolled his eyes and regretfully relinquished, “Uggh, the tin-can told me.” You stayed quiet for a few moments, you knew what this meant. A grin spread across your face. “Oh, so Mr. Anti-Android asked Connor to help him, huh.” You paused for effect, “Am I getting this right?” Your voice dripped with a taunting tone. “Haha, super funny.” Gavin retorted sarcastically “are you gonna let me in or what, sleeping beauty?” He'd obviously inferred by your disheveled look that you had just been sleeping. You turned sideways, allowing space and gesturing inward to your apartment. “If calling me sleeping beauty was you fishing for me to call you prince charming, it's not happening. You can set the coffee there.” You pointed at your living room coffee table. You sidled past him and collected your blanket off the back of the couch, folding it and putting it under the coffee table as Gavin  placed the coffee and then went back to the entryway to take off his coat and hang it on the coat rack. “So what brings you? To my house I mean.” You sat down on the couch crossing your legs. Gavin followed your lead taking a seat, and answering “Well you left work pretty frazzled and…” he leaned forward, picking up the cardboard cup holder “I thought you'd need some coffee.”

You sighed, what had happened back at the DPD. Gavin being sincere for once.. you wanted to be sincere too. “Hey umm…” you started quietly “sorry about this morning, sometimes I just get really overwhelmed and the way that I reacted was completely-” Gavin cut you off “it's not your fault, kid. Don't worry about it.” You sighed, picking your coffee up and warming your hands on the exterior of the cup. “No, what I'm saying is that the way I stormed off wasn't ok and…  “ you trailed off looking for the right words “I should have found an alternative? You know? I'm an adult and I should know how to calm myself.” You brought the coffee to your lips and took a sip, letting it warm you. “Well what calms you?” Gavins words took you off guard. “What?” You replied, making sure you heard that right. Before he could repeat himself you began again “Well I mean, doodling, music, painting my nails-” Gavin stopped you “I could paint your nails.” You let out a half laugh “Pfft. Gavin please forgive me if I don't exactly place a lot of confidence in your ability to paint nails but…” You trailed off, letting Gavin have a turn to speak. “Well fine! You can do mine!” You read his features. At times like these when Gavin's douche facade melted away it was hard to tell what was a joke and what wasn't. You figured this wasn't him joking.

“Seriously? You want me to paint your nails?” You asked, a little bit of disbelief sounding in your voice. Gavin shrugged and took a drink of his coffee. “Well… ok.. I don't know what colors I have but..” You said putting your coffee down and striding around the corner to your bathroom. You dug through the bathroom drawer underneath the vanity, pulling out a bright yellow polish. “Is yellow ok?” You called back. “Whatever.” You heard back, muffled by the walls in between you. You wrapped it in your palm and walked back out to the living room.

“So how is this going to work?” You asked, more to yourself than him. After a couple moments of moving you both had decided upon sitting cross-legged on the couch facing towards each other. You were so close your knees were touching and the rest of your body was close enough to his to be able to feel the heat he emitted. Tension hung in the air as you were both silent, getting comfortable. You opened the bottle. “That stuff has a strong smell.” He lamented. He was right. The smell of nail polish and dark roast  coffee did not complement each other.“You wanted them painted.” You said, rolling your eyes. “Hand.” You demanded, holding out your own hand. Gavin gingerly placed his hand in your and you spread his fingers apart and started painting, first his thumb. You both were looking down at your hands as you painted. You were close enough that while you were looking down the tops of your head's brushed each other. “So what else calms you down?” Gavin asked. You were sure he was being quiet but with him this close to your ear his voice was booming. “Games mostly.” You answered, hyperaware of how warm Gavin's hand was in yours. “Like boardgames? I'll tell you now, I'm the best at Monopoly.” Gavin gloated, trying his best not to move his hand. “Well yeah, but you can't play a board game while your nails are drying. Oh and I'm sure playing Monopoly is the exact opposite of calming. Let's play something like…. This or that.” You spoke lazily, more focused on neatly applying the polish.

You reached for his other hand, done with the first. He helped by bringing his hand in between you two. “Fine, ask me a this or that.” He said. You contemplated for a second, you wanted to start the game with a simple question. “Pancakes or waffles?” You Rose your eyebrow as you asked, acting like this was some sort of life altering or thought-provoking question. Gavin furrowed his brow in over exaggerated fake concentration. “Hmm that's a challenging one... but I'd say waffles.” Gavin said. You let out an overdramatic sigh. “Whew, if you had said pancakes id have to reassign to a different partner.” You teased. “Your turn to ask, Gavin.” You said. Gavin seemed to already have his question in mind. “Cats or dogs?” He hummed.

Moments like this when Gavin didn't have anyone to impress were your favorites. When you two were alone, often out on calls to investigate homicides, he seemed much more docile. Albeit Gavin's snarky comments were still there everything just seemed more at ease

“Cats or dogs?” Gavin repeated, bringing you out of your thoughts. “Cats.” You stated. “They're kinda assholes but they still care, reminds me of a guy I know.” You added. You applied the last coat of nail polish, there were little mistakes here and there but you were relatively proud of your work. You let his hand go and both of you surveyed the paint job. “It still takes a while to dry so you probably can't touch anything.” You informed, moving to position yourself on the couch with your legs dangling over the edge. You leaned forward to take your coffee from the coffee table. You took a drink. The coffee was now lukewarm, but you didn't mind.

“Sugared coffee or black coffee?” You queried. Gavin blew air onto his fingernails hoping to accelerate the drying. “Black coffee is the only way to go.” He answered without hesitation. “My turn, cinnamon or-” Gavin was interrupted by the sound of his generic ringtone, sounding out in the entryway. “I'll get it.” You said. You hopped up and headed to the coat rack where Gavin had hung his coat. You hunted through the pockets until you found the ringing phone and hurriedly jogged back into the living room to deliver it to Gavin before the ringing stopped. Gavin answered it and brought the phone up to his ear but still hovering a few inches away so his hair wouldn't smear the wet nail polish.

After a few confirmations from Gavin he turned to you. “If you genuinely have the energy for it, do you want to come out on a homicide call? It's not far away.” He spoke as he was already getting up to get his jacket. “I'd love to, actually just let me get ready real quick, I'm sad that we had to cut our this or that session short.” You regretted. “We can continue in the car if that would please you, (y/n)”

A few minutes later you were both out in Gavin's car as he turned on the AC to finish his half dried nails. You giggled at the juxtaposition of yellow nails against a leather steering wheel.

Notes: This took a little bit and I think I got a little carried away. Don't quite know how I did writing Gavin's character in this one. Please alert me if there are any spelling/grammar mistakes.

[whetstonefires]

d gray man liveblog part 5! (part 1)(part 2)(part 3)(part 4)

Love the amount of personality Allen conveys by code-switching into different formality levels. the translators here are doing an excellent job conveying that, though i suspect the foul language there could have been legitimately punched up.

asserting that his oath to mana and the love that underlies it are his even though he can’t know that is...what makes Allen main character material i guess.

XD I want to ask when ‘being a total maniac with a personality whose internal contradictions are never entirely resolved’ became the shounen protagonist standard but i’m paging through mentally and it basically goes all the way back.

Ashita no Joe was like this. it’s always been like this. only the details change.

I will give Cross Marian .3 points for the possibility he predicted that offering Allen no mercy would inspire him to pull out his hardshell rage against the whole situation rather than crumpling under the weight.

stg allen walker is composed of 93% layered trauma like fine lacquerware and 4% mental invasion. the remaining 3% of his personality is what’s subject to contest. when XIV exceeds 7% encroachment is when shit is going to get real.

oh woo there is Politics afoot and Bookman is...actually intimidated by them, that scares me.

also he and Lavi keep conversing through thought bubbles and i can’t tell if we’re meant to understand they have a telepathic link or this is just an idiosyncratic method of indicating whispers.

lavaliere thinks allen is funny. or that komui’s attempts to reframe shit in allen’s favor are funny.

he’s not actually wrong that the XIVth can’t be trusted, but you want to insist he is wrong somehow because he’s already demonstrated that his standards for treatment of people who even might be compromised are inhumane as fuck.

i want to keep making Pope jokes but the recurring phrase ‘the central government’ just. it really does emphasize how much this organization is modeled on a modern Japanese concept of hierarchy rather than an early-modern European one.

...i am reminded that early European accounts of Tokugawa Japan recorded the shogun as the Emperor and the Emperor as the Pope.

labubibir just smirks when komui asks if his unilateral ‘we’ll tell everyone all about this in the morning’ decision has the pope’s imprimatur behind it.

srsly if we get to a twist that the current Pope is like. an animated corpse or a stuffed bear or a wooden statue or something run by a committee, i’m not even going to be shocked.

oh look it’s Link in that outrageous papal magic ninja getup. XD the role of Timcampi in this story is so weird. and great. he’s like. magic floating R2D2 stg, only if Luke threw R2 at Yoda’s head at some point.

...the point would be when Yoda actually explained about Vader before Vader could, but did it in the most assholish and unhelpful way possible

which you know i would believe would have happened.

Cross Marian it is so completely in character for you to turn up dead and thus useless at such a politically vital moment i almost don’t believe you’ve actually been killed.

only the fact that you actually shared significant information last night makes it seem reasonably likely this is not a fake death.

the disappearing body is a good trick. the guards sleeping and not dead is suggestive either way.

i like the juxtaposition that made it look link Link was blowing shit up by playing chess. (instead it is the marginally less ridiculous ‘playing chess at the site of a battle while ignoring the fighting’)

are those things even akuma? they’re fighting them in a graveyard and either the fight is non-serious enough or the chess is important enough that Miranda’s multi-tasking...

if she needs to use reverse on the board then presumably it...got spilled? but then they could just memorize the positions and let her let it go...

lol yeah okay allen scold the monster for its lack of manners toward a lady.

lmaoooo okay the chess was to win an Innocence-infused ring back from the ghost of its chess-master previous owner! normal duties have resumed in spite of the massive loss of personnel and allen’s identity issues, and apparently Link is now contributing to team efforts. this won’t divide his loyalties at all of course.

the chessboard didn’t decay with the ghost, so i still don’t know what Miranda was reversing time on it for.

+1 sassy old lady.

wow they’re actually building Order operations around use of the Ark, which only Allen can pilot. i guess anyone can use the doors he’s established so once he’s got a solid network running they can axe him but....

...Miranda it is rude to crush on a priest, though he has very pretty hair. (i mean, i’m assuming he’s catholic, since he’s with the Order, which works for the Pope. all indications really are that England is a catholic country in this universe.)

...it’s also a country where the Noahs are installed at high levels of government I don’t understand how no one in the Order has noticed that.

‘even if only for the moment’ ffffffffs link shut the fuck up.

...if anyone is inexplicably reading this without familiarity with the media property involved and picturing the hero from Legend of Zelda when i yell at link, please continue doing that, it’s basically correct except for being wrong in almost every particular.

oh good grief. So, they actually agreed with me about ‘can’t get rid of Allen’ for all the reasons i stated! they just announced to everyone he knows that they have an ongoing mission to kill him if he goes rogue.

that’s entirely reasonable, really, though depressing, but they had to be so viciously dehumanizing about getting there! wtf. “our very own pet noah” imma wring your throat.

...ten years has made Miranda Lott so much more relatable but never more than in this moment where she’s reminding herself she’s the only actual adult in this group.

also really feeling Allen’s “I don’t understand anything, but time keeps moving on.”

Holy shit the guy who knew Kanda when he was a small person now counts as foreshadowing of horrible things to come.

...how long have they left the bloodstained shattered window unrepaired so Rebeliel can sit here staring at it?

i don’t know whether i’m more focused on how absurd it is that this man does fancy baking (19th century! powerful! man!) or how terrifying it is that he’s offering Allen a slice of cake.

lmao apparently Reever is not a typical example of his role, probably because Komui isn’t. in fact, i don’t think i previously realized the ‘section’ he’s ‘chief’ of is the hq science section, because Komui acts like he’s Head of Mad Science and leaves Reever to be his chief minion.

also, this poor woman. her brother got horribly murdered working with these people and it traumatized them and now they’re treating her as a replacement goldfish because she looks just like him. that’s messed up on so many levels, though presumably she’s at least moderately okay with being misgendered or she’d dress differently. it being the 19th century and all.

...also i can’t tell if she’s meant to be a very pale black woman or if hoshino just did a ‘fat person’ character design around racist caricature visual tropes, but she’s got the blackface lip outline and a dreadlock ponytail, so welp.

wow Cross’ disappearance just gets more mysterious even as the evidence of his death mounts.

oh never mind Lebubble says it was definitely his bosses but he’s concerned because he was left out of the loop.

hmm okay that’s two women getting instant crushes on pretty boys and two relatively minor cases of sexual harassment in three chapters, all four times intended as humor, do not like this trend.

hmm now a trans woman being used as a visual gag. i’ve seen worse uses of this trope, but ugh.

the Ganimard expy is funny, tho. the amount of personality conveyed in a few pages is reliably high.

...i feel like he’s pointedly not given his prisoners any changes of clothes in order to maintain the illusion that it makes some kind of sense for there to be an entire gang of phantom thief that gets caught every single time.

that doesn’t actually explain why they’re all still wearing the outrageous hat.

aaaaand back to allen’s identity crisis.

wow, on the one hand cross is pressuring him from beyond the grave not to rely on Mana’s memory because that’s not his real self, but on the other hand he has to seriously consider that his recent lapses in the formality adopted in imitation of Mana were even less himself and in fact the result of a hostile alien consciousness breaking through.

haha this heist scenario is so exactly like a Magic Kaito one I’m guessing that’s a deliberate allusion and not just shared Phantom Thief tropes. (Though how do you tell in a genre like this, Ganimard-Nakamori-Galmar lmao.)

...the thematic element of speech-mode equating identity is really nicely used but lmao sticking out the tongue has sufficiently different connotation in Japan to make this possession sequence weirder than intended. which was already pretty weird.

daaaaamn link’s papal ninja moves are finally seeing some use. also way to signal your real identity bodysnatcher kid, allen’s like sixteen, an adult would definitely not call him niichan.

wow you can even use his papal ninja paper magic! somehow! that is a really high-tier bodysnatching skill. also lol of course kanda can recognize a papal ninja crow by skillset.

i am a huge fan of allen’s capacity for headgames.

oh my goodness is he seriously donating all the money from his thefts to an orphanage? specifically the orphanage where he lives?

and again with the boob grab.

...allen walker weeping that he’s bleeding is quite the hilarious sight but come to think of it if he can’t hold off one random crybaby bodysnatching kid his odds against XIV don’t look that hot, eh?

oh no evil undead nun.

oh that’s a great idea, ask komui for advice about what to do in the situation that an exorcist and his guardians are rejecting summary kidnapping. it’s not like he devoted his entire life to regaining contact with his sister after the Order kidnapped her.

oh no it’s another hideous potbellied angel monster and they’ve figured out how to jam allen’s curse radar. that curse was a present from his dad you bastards!

...mana was a really weird person.

you know link, i’m pretty sure from you that was protectiveness.

oh! a twist! the nun is evil without being an undead monster!

meanwhile the nice nun and all the orphans have been turned into puppets.

daaaaamn the Papal Ninja Paper Magic is good stuff! why don’t they teach it to more of their staff, maybe they wouldn’t have such high turnover.

...Kanda just referred to Noise Marie as ‘she’ but I’m pretty sure that’s a translation error based on the fact that his surname is ‘Marie’ and ‘Noise’ sounds like a descriptor based on his hearing-based power rather than a first name.

it would frankly be awesome if Noise Marie were a woman, but considering the only two not-conventionally-boobalicious and also not elderly female characters we’ve had were minor visual gags (plus i guess Miranda during her initial nervous breakdown), and that hoshino was genuinely startled people thought Jasdero was a woman, presumably because of the lack of visible breasts, i reallllllllly think she would be unlikely to design a huge bald muscle woman, let alone treat her with this much casual respect, let alone while writing her as gay.

regardless, if Noise Marie actually dies imma be so mad. not that me being mad has had a perceptible affect on the death rate--though Kanda and Krory did survive the Ark Battle Arc so maybe i do have power. or rather we collectively as readers do.

hah he cut his own fingers off with wire, badass.

allen’s talent for inspiring compassion claims another victim in Bodysnatcher Timothy and holy cow Emilia The Nice Middle Class Girl is here with a handgun to menace the giant monsters, nice.

i mean, they’re not very menaced, but she’s shooting them anyway, because fuck you.

...holy shit that’s a powerful ability. the fact that it leaves his real body vulnerable is kind of a major drawback even with good teammates, but wow. also for some reason his Innocence has its own consciousness???

which can pilot his body for him while he’s walkabout, how helpful!

Bonne the the translady prison boss has joined the count of girls who see a cute guy and get an instant crush recently, but for some reason she’s really into Reever? I mean, he’s good-looking, sure, but he’s not one of The Pretty Boys.

Just realized that part of what’s vibing so weird is, this is a shounen series, but the specific way it juxtaposes elements of extreme shittiness with elements of brilliant concept and execution is more shoujo in style.

sameface isn’t normally a big issue in this series but Link-with-his-bangs-blown-back looks confusingly similar to Timothy’s Innocence Spirit, whom Timothy identified as his adult self with startling ease.

kneeling there out of options thinking you’re going to die and you dedicate your last thought to revellier, link? really??? that’s extremely sad. did he actually do anything to earn your loyalty or is this just brainwashing?

I feel like last time through I failed to absorb the political implications of the Order having managed to put together agents who can stop a Level 3 akuma with their hands and then eat it. with their hands. i think they’ve been spliced with akuma, because ‘nothing human can get through this barrier.’

Lenalee going one-v-one on a Level 3 was a nigh-self-destruct big deal a couple of months ago. This isn’t just sloppily managed shounen power creep this is the obsolescence of the excorcists.

which in theory would be a good thing, but the way these guys are made has to be awful and our main characters were already disposable enough in the eyes of their masters.

At least Allen’s getting Power Creep too! New tactic: drop sword. Stab enemy in the back with it while standing in front of them because it’s still part of your body somehow.

oh good grief allen you saw what happened to tiki myk! how did you not see this coming. ughhhhhhh. i know why. your current life plan is to Denial so damn hard the universe breaks your way. this is your god letting you know she’s not going to indulge that touching optimism.

i think it shocked me the first time, but i’m not sure anymore.

yeah, deeply counter-productive course of action.

...i’m now used to the way XIV uses Allen’s face but the akuma seeing him as a flaming skeleton monster i had forgotten about. wut?

with kanda it’s not a question of did he count on allen being able to dodge or did he not care if he stabbed him too, it’s both.

the cognitive dissonance of the story trying to treat Timothy joining the Order as a Good End to this episode, the same way it did back in early days when they recruited Miranda, when the prevailing atmosphere of the story has become one of institutional cruelty and corruption wherein the Order is a hellish slave-taking death trap that eats its people alive is just...fucking me up big time.

am i actually expected to accept the content here at face value?

...i mean, it’s a good end in that our heroes are spared having to forcibly kidnap him into indenture, but Emilia joining to look after him is just. It’s not funny or heartwarming or empowering.

we’ve recently gone over how komui doesn’t want lenalee to see his joining the Order for her as self-sacrifice even though it was, and also how much it fucks him up being accountable for how evil this organization is.

and not to be awful but lenalee’s his actual family and actually sweet, whereas timothy is a horrid brat with a habit of sexually harassing Emilia.

And that was before the war reached a point where we’re seeing 90% mortality.

don’t do this emilia. nooooooope.

on the upside, the nice nun and all the children survived somehow!

allen’s relationship with Link is weird.

i wonder if i was meant to be disturbed by how similar Mana’s body language was to the Earl’s for a second there?

okay so can we talk about how in this moment of extreme drama where Allen has sat up in bed possessed by evil, timcampi (who never communicates except via body language and is a floating orb) gets a speech bubble containing a picture of a toilet?

because it was really important to let the readers know that the little golem theorized that Allen needed to have a pee, in between cutting from the unsettling Symbolic Dream to the terrifying murder face.

and the thing is, it even kind of was! it contributes to the pace of the whole scene, it reminds us that timcampi is a conscious being with opinions even if he can’t communicate much, and is witnessing this incident. and yet. toilet.

the entire storytelling style of D. Gray Man revolves around creating cognitive dissonance and it does not suit my brain.

...i honestly don’t know what to think about Link being uncomfortable sharing a room with Lenalee flashing that much thigh, but i know i like him better for the fact that he let her drive him out of his own room by falling asleep on his bed, and just stood around in the hall like a chump waiting for her to finish her nap.

and he escalates from threatening allen with a formal complaint to threatening to tell komui he’s alone in a room with lenalee lmao.

he really is fitting right in.

oh hey. it wasn’t just timcampi who saw.

yes okay thanks for the tyki myk update good to know there are long-term consequences for running a noah through with Crown Clown.

aaaand North American Boobs Lady didn’t seem half this menacing last time she came up, but now she’s flanked by Hungry Hands Dude and his partner and komui is looking freaked out.

he does that a lot lately.

[doctorhands]

mad today. almost the good kind of mad. clear kind of mad. almost. it’s like that but a drowsy version. binged over the weekend (started with fruits and of course he we are. need to stick strictly to meal plan. water is wet.) 

today was one of those days in class where I was stopped and corrected like 3 times and it made me sour. made me feel the “what am I even doing here” feelings. but I need to remember that all I ve done is committed to a semester course. im not in med school. and if med is not for me there is no shame in it. 

either way I need to get used to being corrected. learn that they are trying to help me I think im at least teachable in that im learning how to pinpoint what I need clarifying on. “You’re only mad because she barked at you” ..... “realized wow I need to toughen up” 

when we were walking back from the supraglottic airway station I said to Emily “im so bad at anything physical” and she said “yeah you overthink” in a very bored tone. when we went back to the class Wayne had set out a nifty machine that played different pathological lung sounds. but I was at the end of the table and the Eric who was switching the sounds and telling us what they were was so quiet and I couldn’t hear any of the explanations or they'd only be said when I had my earpieces in. it irritated me. it reminded me of anatomy when people would be practically whispering about cadaver locations and I was already so panicked and threadbare that I was like “cAN WE SPEAK UP? What Is That? And what was that? Huh? Again? I cannot hear you. speak up.” 

added together I got annoyed and overwhelmed and sad and Emily asked me a couple times if I was okay and I was like “yeah!! just tired! *yawn!!!*” I asked the group if they had neat notes  (To make conversation and share my messy notes which I think are funny and if I’m being honest I like the juxtaposition of getting good grades and having chaotic shitty notes so I wanted to feel special! that was my real motive! there I said it!) Emily said “Yeah! except Eric took notes in here and LOOK” and showed me them and was like “and he got chocolate on them!” and I was like “haha did you walk into his work (an ice-cream shop) and force him to teach you” and she said “No he came over and we studied chapter 9 and 10.” and said “Oh...” and she said “uhh yeah! and he stayed over so late thenthenextdayiwokeuplate!!” and I was like “oh this was the night after the test?” and she was like “yeah!” which....idk seems suspect to me? she kept asking if I was okay and if she did anything wrong and I said nope. 

idk why it hurt my feelings so bad...I guess I thought me and her were the closest and then I find out half of our group is having secret study sessions. kind of feels like shit I guess. I think I need to be a bit more guarded. I get into such trouble, like a golden retriever just so excited to be part of the fun. tomorrow im tempted to be distant and im not sure if it’s just so I can relax and be less....cloy-y for attention and copasetic conversation and worrying if its awkward between the 4 of us or if they'll get bored of me and leave or what. like at the end of the day, I have to rely on myself for whether or not I retain the information. while it might not be as time efficient there are always other ways I can do it without other people and....I can’t spend my limited brain space worrying about whether or not im too weird to keep them around or if well be friends after. im so tired. 

but im also not sure if that’s just me wanting to punish Emily for daring to hang out with Eric without us or before she hung out with me. but I feel so....conned? like she called me and I just got the feeling of like “we’re gonna be great friends!!’ and now im like. oh. silly me. she’s just one of those girls that says “omg I love you!!!” after 30 mins of hanging out, ya know? 

god Im so tired of being fat, I feel like that affects so much of how I communicate with other people. If I had just not eaten that extra spoonful of pb I could be fine by now. >:( 

mitski always reminds me of days like this. awake anger. I listened to her on the way home. raw and alone. Now im in the “fuck this” mood where I want to just live my life on purpose and be the person I want to be right now. clean my room. go for a walk. suck it up. do laundry. feel anger and be still. see things how they are. stop trying to soothe myself but keep living anyway. do the laundry anyway. shower anyway. get the EMT license even though the medical industry is predatory and horrible. don’t shop on amazon and don’t try to feel better about how you’ve shopped on amazon. say that was unacceptable and move on. move on.

[sleepdepravity]

I’m just gonna go ahead and expand on why the change was better. So like, in Wise Guys, “That Was A Year” was closer to a vaudeville performance, where Addison and Wilson sort of crack jokes at each other, though with a bit of bitterness on Addison’s part, and then Ketchel, Armstrong, and Phil are just introduced in. And this exemplifies the one big weakness of Wise Guys, leaning in too far into the vaudeville. Like, all of the vaudeville is all meant ironically, which is great, that’s fine. But if in practice, the vaudeville looks functionally the same as unironic, then it falls flat. There’s nothing in the performative aspect that really makes the vaudeville-style comedy routine look anything other than vaudeville. So you end up having to either make all the jokes like. Legitimately funny, or you’ll just end up with an audience thinking the whole thing is unbearably corny. The vaudeville element has the benefit of being able to just kinda, glide through the story by having the characters narrate it (certainly saves on props and backgrounds) but that turned it into a crutch that really undermined the show. (Which is why Bounce turning it into an actual scene was better.) You can kinda compare Wise Guys’ metatextual ironic vaudeville directly to “The God-Why-Don’t-You-Love-Me Blues” from Follies. The reason why Follies is ironic and works well is because the topic itself is outlandishly out of place with the tone and the rest of the show. (“Haha! My wife hates me and the only way I can get some form of affection is by cheating on her but I can’t even feel satisfied with this other woman because I’m too busy being obsessed with my wife who hates me!”) But Wise Guys, the juxtaposition of the topic and the tone just isn’t stark enough. It mainly is just a comedy routine that seems like it’s being played straight. (See: “That was no lady, that was my wife — for seven months” “Now you wed ‘em, now you don’t!”) You get the sense that the cheesiness itself is supposed to be ironic, but given that the show is already saturated with vaudeville-style scenes, it just doesn’t work. You need the vaudeville aesthetic without the vaudeville for it to get across well, mainly. There are two times I can remember Wise Guys getting like. A huge laugh, and both times pulls off irony more competently, and neither of them uses the exaggerated vaudeville tone. (One is after the convenient newsboy who was announcing headlines in New York shows up now in Florida, Addison says, “you know, that kid has quite a route.” The other is when Wilson says, “There’s bound to be a place that isn’t quite so hard on guys who don’t think twice about screwing someone over” and then a Hollywood sign comes up.) I have no idea how to end this post. Thought over.

Like one of the major things so arresting about Wise Guys is how you can see the thread of development throughout Wise Guys, Bounce, and Road Show. It’s just really interesting to me to look at what changed or what stayed the same and through that be able to figure out the thought process of the writers and the whys. For example, “That Was A Year” changed to “God, I Love This Town,” back to “That Was A Year,” only with snippets of “God, I Love This Town” in it. And it’s pretty obvious that the change to “God, I Love This Town” is specifically because the writers had taken out the vaudeville aspect, and without the metafiction, they were forced to write the segment as an actual scene. (And honestly, this change was for the better.) And going back to “That Was A Year,” mostly was just reverting the song, the scene itself stayed from Bounce to Road Show. I dunno. It’s just really cool to look at.

[uncannyxiuman-archive]

Questions!

I’ve been tagged by @kingxiukitten, yay! Thank you, bb! (see, I’m slooooowly working my way through things I’ve been tagged for, haha!)

How old are you? - 33 What’s your current job? - I’m an overnight wage bitch at one of our fine oh-so-American conglomerate supermarkets 8D /sarcasm Current aesthetic? - uh. I like juxtaposition in stuff a lot? On a basic color level, I like things like mixes of bright colors on black backgrounds, but overall I like unexpected mixes of things that somehow work bc of the contrast or the unexpectedness of it. Also, when I was showing my tattoo ideas to my therapist last week, he was like, “What do you think your fixation on skulls is about?” so I guess that’s a thing, too? Collect anything? - Fancy teacups, snow globes (which are both kinda funny, since I’m uh pretty clumsy!), rocks, quotes that resonate with me. I feel like a lot of writers are innate collectors of stuff, tho. A topic you always talk about? - Comics, or whatever I’m hyperfocused on atm Pet Peeves? - Oh FUCK, SO MANY THINGS… Like, I’m impatient AND I get sensory overload kinda easily, so it doesn’t even pay to make a list ^_^;;;;

5 songs you recommend:

- Hiding: Florence + The Machine

- Shimmer: Throwing Muses

- Bastards: Kesha

- Elastic Heart: Sia

- Pound the Alarm: Nicki Minaj

BONUS!, bc why not?:

- Dead End Friends: Them Crooked Vultures

   Height? - 4’10” Last movie you watched? - Um, I think it was Moana? Other blogs? None! Religious or Spiritual? - Spiritual What did your last relationship teach you? - Um. It’s been a while since that one, so let’s just assume nothing good? Or maybe a good lesson learned the hard way? Idk Average hours of sleep? - I try to shoot for 6-7, but I’m also a very rough sleeper, so I wake up at times Favorite Character? - A recent one is Marco Diaz from Star vs. The Forces of Evil… If it’s supposed to be my overall favorite character, omg, I don’t even know…

As for who I’m tagging, uh…. @yatzuaka, @rorzathoth, @longlivesmdc, @yeoliravioli, @winifredburton, @minseok-appa, @kim-minse-not-ok….. Uh, whoever else feels like doing it, Idk ^_^;;;

[smilingformoney]

It Lives Beneath Diamond Scene: Photography with Danni

The sounds of laughter and music drift through the air as you and Danni make your way through brightly coloured stalls. Danni: I just got a new XF 50mm lens for my Fujifilm and I’ve been dying to try it out. You: What do you want to photograph? Danni: Everything. Small, intimate scenes. Signs of decay brought on by the disenfranchisement of our generation. The usual. You: Sounds heady. I like it. You follow Danni as she snaps pictures of people buying skewers at a food stall, a child holding a balloon, and a melting ice cream cone in the gutter. Danni: These are going to look awesome. What do you think I should focus on next?

You: You should photograph the… -Boats. Danni +2

Danni: Showing class disparity through comparison of boat types? You: Um. Yes. That. Exactly that. Danni: Hmm… it’s a bit like my other work, but I don’t mind adding to the collection. Danni turns her camera to the pier and takes several shots of the festively decorated boats floating on the lake. Danni: Not bad. The banners and cheerfulness are a good juxtaposition to the social inequality.

-Carnival games. Danni +2

Danni: Oh, I see. ‘Cause the games represent the millennial struggle to advance in a society whose structure is stacked against them. You: I mean, I just thought they looked cool, but sure. Let’s go with that. Danni turns her camera on the game booths, taking several pictures of people just after they’ve lost. Danni: This could be the start of a whole new series for me. You: And you could call it ‘You Win Some, You Lose Some’! Danni: I will definitely not call it that.

-Consumerist excess. Danni +2

Danni takes a moment to think about it. Danni: Isn’t that a little paradigmatic? It’s not saying anything new about a problem that’s endemic to our society. You: Honestly? I have no idea. I just thought it sounded cool. Danni: Fair enough. At least you’re honest about it. Danni: Which is more than I can say for the creeps who gawk at my art and have no idea what it means.

You trail behind Danni as she begins her second lap of the fair. You: Have you ever thought about photographing a model? Danni: Not really. I’m not a fan of the artificiality that’s fostered by manipulating a person into an artist’s preconceived vision. Danni: Why? You: Well, I thought you might want to take a few pictures of me but now I’m afraid to ask. Danni: Haha! Are you kidding? I’d love to take pictures of you! Quick, go stand over there! You walk to a fountain in the middle of town, and Danni lifts her camera to her eye. Danni: Strike a post, gorgeous!

You: (I should pose…) -Sexy.

You put your hand on your hip and pout in a sultry way. You hear the fast clicks of the shutter. Danni: Oooohhhh! Smokin’! I can’t handle all this hotness! I think I’m getting heat stroke!

-Funny.

You raise your hands in front of the fountain so it looks like the water is coming from your fingertips. You hear the fast clicks of the shutter. Danni: Wooooo! Go Poseidon, go! Show me that good, good water magic!

-Cute.

You claps your hands together by your cheek and widen your eyes. You hear the fast clicks of the shutter. Danni: Look at that cutie-pie! Does butter melt in your mouth? Hell no it don’t!

You can’t help but start laughing, breaking out of your pose. Danni: Contain yourself, [Name]! You’re ruining my photoshoot! You: Hey, why don’t you let me take a turn on that thing? Danni: Oh! I mean, sure, as long as you’re careful. This gal’s my baby. Danni gingerly hands over the camera. You bring it up to your eye and adjust the focus. You: Okay, now get in frame. Danni: What? No! I do the picture taking, I don’t get pictures taken of me. You: Come ooooon! I posed for you! Danni: I’m not photogenic! You: I’m sure that’s not even remotely true. Danni: Ugh, fine. How do you want me to pose, like this? Danni steps in front of the camera and makes several different kinds of faces.

You should… -Smile.

You: Say cheese! Danni: Mozzarella!

-Frown.

You: Think about a Corgi puppy trying to go up stairs! Danni: Oh no… their little legs are so tiny!

-Sneer.

You: Think about capitalism! Danni: Our economy is dependent on a vicious cycle of consumerism!

-Gasp.

You: Wait… is that Hozier?! Danni: WHAT?! WHERE?!

You quickly take the picture before Danni’s expression changes. You click the dial for the next picture but the roll seems to be full. Danni: How’d I look? Wait. Don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.

You: You looked… -Gorgeous. +Romance, Danni +3

Danni: Oh, so you think you can win your way to my heart with flattery, huh? You: Yes? Danni: Well, you’re right.

-Fine. Danni +3

Danni: That’s a relief. I felt like an idiot. I hate getting my picture taken. You: You realise how ironic that is considering you’re a photographer? Danni: Hey, my place is behind the camera. I’m sure surgeons aren’t crazy about getting operated on. You: I’ve never thought about it like that.

You: I think that might’ve been the last picture of the day, though. Looks like the camera’s full up. Danni: We should head back to my place so we can get these babies developing. You: Right now? Danni: Hell yeah. What if I accidentally drop this gal in the water? That’s a whole day’s worth of pictures ruined. Better to get them home now. You: I guess you’re right. I’d hate for my modelling career to be lost to the bottom of the lake. Danni: We couldn’t possibly deprive the world of your epic voguing skills. You: Lead on.

You’re sitting on the sofa nursing a cold lemonade and waiting for Danni. She comes out from her darkroom and flops down beside you on the sofa. Danni: Those pictures are gonna look awesome. Danni: It was so much fun to relax and take pictures for the sake of taking pictures. I haven’t had a chance to just enjoy photography in a while. You: Why’s that? Danni: I’ve been too busy trying to get to the bottom of all the strange things in this town. Following the cult’s trail.

You: About ‘the Society’… -They’re not what I thought they were.

Danni: What do you mean? You: I thought they were all psycho-murderers. But it turns out that only some of them are murderers and the rest are actually trying to help. Danni: Yeah. That’s certainly what it looks like. You: You don’t believe they’re telling the truth? Danni: Look, I’ll believe it when I see them actually taking steps to put an end to this lake curse or whatever. Until then, it’s all lip-service.

-What do you think about them?

Danni looks thoughtful for a moment. Danni: Well… I don’t like how they’re this rich elite that runs this whole town. Danni: I want my town to be safe, and they seem to want the same thing. So I think we should trust them. For now.

You: I can understand that. You glance at the clock and set your lemonade down on the coffee table. You: You should we be getting back to the festivities? Danni: The festival’s gonna be there all day. We’ve got plenty of time. You lean back, stretching your arms across the back of the sofa. You: Well, if you’re in no hurry to head out… Danni scooches closer to you on the couch, her bare thigh brushing yours. Danni: I’ve actually been wanting to spend some time with you, just the two of us.

You: Really? I… -Haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. +Romance

You: You looked beautiful the other night, in that gold dress… You always look beautiful, but… I couldn’t take my eyes off you. Danni: I couldn’t stop looking at you either. I can’t believe we didn’t catch each other staring. You: Well, I might’ve caught you out of the corner of my eye. Danni: And you didn’t say anything? You: Why ruin the surprise? Danni: How’s this for a surprise? Danni takes your cheek into her palm and leans in to brush a kiss against your lips. Danni: You taste like lemonade.

You: (I’ll…) -Kiss her back. +Romance

You bury your fingers in Danni’s hair and kiss her deeply, your tongue slipping past her eager lips, eliciting a groan from deep in her chest. Danni: Haahh… [Name]… She climbs onto your lap, her hands roaming your chest, your stomach, your thighs. You: Mmm… She kisses across your jaw, taking your earlobe into her mouth and sucking gently. You caress her back, trailing down to grip her hips and pull her body against yours, making her moan softly. Danni: Nnnn… [Name]…

You: (I should…) -Heat things up. +Romance, MC +5, Danni +5

You slip a hand under her bikini, seeking out the heat between her legs. Danni: Aahh… Her hips buck against your hand, grinding down into your touch. You lean forward, kissing the swell of her breasts. Danni: God… [Name]… Aahh… That feels so good… You: I’ve always been good with my hands. You lean her back against the couch, pulling her swimsuit down her long, tan legs as you go. You climb between her thighs, kissing and licking the sensitive skin of her throat while she clings tightly to you. Danni: You’re more than just good with your hands. You’re good with your everything. You: Maybe save the compliments for after I’ve shown you my best. Danni: Your best? This hasn’t been your best? Well, now I’m intrigued. Helping you strip out of your clothes, she wraps her legs around your waist and pulls your body into her. You roll against each other, building fire in the pit of your stomach as you crest closer and closer to ecstasy…

You lie breathlessly on the couch as Danni collapses into your arms. Danni: That was quite a workout. You: No kidding. I had no idea you were so flexible. Danni: Don’t tell anyone, but I did gymnastics in high school. As you both catch your breath, you rub soothing circles across Danni’s back. You: Do you think the others are wondering where we got off to? Danni: Probably. You groan and hug Danni closer. You: I’m so comfy though! Danni laughs and sits up, stretching loudly. Danni: Okay, ya big baby. Up and at ‘em. We’ll have plenty of time to get cozy again tonight. You: Promise? Danni: Cross my heart. Danni stands and helps you to your feet. After cleaning yourselves up and redressing, you head back to the bustling activity of the Lake Day festival.

-Cool things down. Danni +5, MC +5

You kiss her neck, rubbing soothing circles across her back, and finally pull away. The air between you is hot and charged. You: You’re something else, you know that? Danni: My mama always told me I was special. She leans her forehead against yours, her breath warm on your cheek. Danni: You sure know how to make a girl flustered. You: Let me make it up to you. You lay both of you down on the couch and wrap your arms around her, letting the curves of her body settle in the contours of yours. Danni: I am so frickin’ comfy right now. We better not be getting up again. Ever. You: This is pretty much perfect. Why is cuddling you so great? Are you made out of pillows or something? Danni: You’ve finally found out my secret. I’m actually a sentient body pillow. You: I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but we should get back to the festival at some point. Danni: Uuuuugh. Just five more minutes. You laugh, pulling her closer. Her hair smells of coconut and her skin of lavender, making you never want to leave. You: Okay. Five more minutes. Five… ten… twenty minutes later, you finally manage to pull yourselves up and leave Danni’s cozy house behind, returning to the hustle and bustle of the festival.

-Hold her close. MC +5, Danni +5

Wrapping your arms around Danni’s slender waist, you pull her against you. She settles her head on your shoulder. Danni: I don’t cuddle all that much usually, but this is pretty nice. You: I’m glad I give adequate cuddles. Danni: Okay, okay. More than nice. The best, actually. You: That’s more like it. You kiss the top of her head, breathing in the coconut scent of her hair. She sighs happily, leaning into you. Danni: You know, [Name], I really like you. Kind of a lot. You: That’s a coincidence, because I kind of like you a lot too. Danni: Oh yeah? You’re not just saying that ‘cause I said it first? You: I mean it, Danni. Really. Danni: You better. Danni snuggles closer to you, her shoulders relaxed, and her breath coming in evenly until you’re sure she’s asleep. You brush a stray lock of hair off her forehead and let her sleep. After a while, your arm falls asleep and you can’t help a little involuntary jerk. Danni stirs sleepily. Danni: Uuuuugh. What time is it? You: Late, if we want to catch the rest of the festival. Danni pulls back and stretches, yawning grandly. Danni: Yeah, okay. Let’s get back out there. Danni: Oh, and [Name]? You: Yeah? Danni: I really liked this. You: Yeah. Me too. Picking yourselves back up and stretching out your kinks, you both head back to the hustle and bustle of the festival…

-Have been wanting to hang out, too. Danni +5, MC +5

You: So much’s happened since that night at Richard’s mansion. We haven’t really had a chance to talk, just the two of us. Danni: Awww. You want to do some bonding. I’m touched. You: Thanks, Miss Sarcasm. Danni: Okay, okay! I’m sorry. Yeah, come on, let’s talk. I’m an open book. What’d you have in mind?

You: I wanted to ask about… -Your family.

You: I know your family’s struggling financially… But tell me about them. What’re they like? Danni: Well, my folks might be having money troubles but it doesn’t show most of the time. Danni: They’re so positive and loving and supportive of me. Honestly I don’t think I could ask for a better family. Danni: That’s why I want to take care of them. And I think this ‘Society’ might be able to help me do that.

-Your career.

You: I know you said you wanted to get a job in advertising. Has that plan changed at all, knowing what you know about the Society? Danni: Well, I really wanted to go into advertising to help out my family. Danni: But now that we’ve found out this ‘Society’ runs things, I’ve started to think I could find a way to leverage that… You: How do you mean? Danni: They’re all wealthy and powerful, right? You: Not my grandpa, but I guess he’s kind of an outlier. Danni: Right, there’s exceptions. But…

Danni: Think about it. We’re helping them deal with this big danger that threatens Pine Springs. Danni: They might be grateful. They might even feel like they owe us a favour. Danni: If they’re feeling… grateful enough, they could, say, help chip in with my dad’s medical expenses, for example. You: Is that… I don’t know, ethical? To help them only in exchange for money? Danni: Well, we’re still gonna help them either way. I’m just saying, they might be feeling generous after we lend them a hand… You and Danni talk for a while longer, until you realise it’s getting late and you still want to enjoy the festival. You both leave Danni’s apartment and return to the heart of town.

I’ll spend time with… -Parker. -Imogen. -Tom. -No one.

[hotfitnesstopics]

 Hi friends! How are you? Hope you’re enjoying the week so far. We jumped back in the weekly routine, and made signs on Monday to pick up the Pilot at the airport. He was gone for 3 1/2 weeks (don’t forget that extra 1/2): 4 weekends. We missed him so much, but I also looked forward to spending some solo time with the girls and trying to make an adventure out of it while he was away. We did things like have breakfast for dinner, enjoyed more frequent movie nights, I let them sleep in our bed, and we planned extra events to stay busy and entertained. While the Pilot was gone: -The girls and I slept horribly the first week, until I let them fall asleep in our bed. I also slept more soundly knowing my baby chicks were close by.  -We actually had a lot of real dinners! I could easily see myself hopping on the takeout train since it was just the three of us, but there aren’t a ton of takeout places here that we love. So I cooked quite a bit, and while the meals were way more casual than usual, everyone was fed haha.   – We took two road trips. I’d been wanting to take the girls back to Disney, and figured that we might as well make the most out of our passes. The 3 1/2 hour drive is pretty fast and the only really tricky part about this trip was navigating rides. Liv likes to go on more intense rides now (like the Barnstormer roller coaster), while miss P is not a fan. I told Liv this would be more of a trip focused on gentle rides, character experiences, and parades. Of course, she was totally cool with that. (Snack bag is key! I always have a giant bag of snacks in my suitcase and use it to refill each of the girls snack bags I carry in my backpack during the day. We eat full meals either at the hotel, Disney Springs, or the parks, but these are clutch when the girls get snacky and we’re on the bus or waiting in line.) We also had an amazing weekend getaway to Jacksonville to stay at our favorite spot.  -I launched a project I’ve been working on for the past year! The Fit Guides are rocking and rolling, and it’s a blast connecting with all of the Fit Guide participants in the Facebook group + designing new workouts. We’re going to be including RD-created meal plans (at the same price) in the next couple of months and I’m so thrilled to add it to the plans. Sign up here now if you haven’t already! -Livi lost a tooth! She pulled it out herself.. thank goodness because I was a little creeped about having to do it.  On a not-so-fun note: -I also had one heck of a health scare. I want to start this off by saying I’m ok for now, but continue to hope and pray that this is true in the future, too. A week before the Pilot left, I found a lump in my left breast. It felt like a hard bean and was enough to alarm me. I immediately made an appointment with my PCP to get it checked out, especially since we’ve had one incidence of breast cancer in our family. He took at look at everything, told me he thought it was probably an inflamed old milk duct from nursing P (especially since my left side did 90% of the work), and that I’d get an ultrasound to be sure. (I asked if I could do an ultrasound instead of mammogram since the thought of getting them smashed after my surgery gave me the creeps.) Of course I consulted Dr. Google, spiraled into mental doom and gloom, and the day of my ultrasound (the day before the Pilot left), I was literally shaking in the lobby. Thankfully my BFF Betsy was giving me a text message pep talk and called me as soon as it was over. The ultrasound tech was kind and lovely, and while she was performing the ultrasound, I kept checking the screen to see if anything stood out. I said, “You’re probably not allowed to tell me if you see anything, right?” and she responded, “I ain’t no doctor, but I don’t see anything.”  She’s been a breast ultrasound tech for 30+ years (!) so that gave me some peace of mind. A couple of days later, I got a letter from the hospital indicating that they didn’t see any definitive markings for cancer, but that they recommended additional screening through mammogram. They said to continue to monitor myself and notify my doctor if anything changed. I thought this meant I was off the hook, and celebrated. (In this case, I had a glass of wine and bought myself an outfit online after the girls were asleep.) A couple of days later – by this point the Pilot had been gone for a week – I got a phone call from my doctor’s office while P was sleeping on the couch next to me. It was a nurse asking to go over the results of my ultrasound. “Hi, we got the results of the ultrasound here. Since you have a worrisome mass, we’ll need to get that checked out with an MRI.” “Wait… a worrisome mass? What do you mean? How big is it? Where is it?” “Well, the ultrasound doesn’t give a lot of details so that’s why we’re going to request an MRI. Originally they stated mammogram but we have in your chart that you’d prefer not to get one, so an MRI will be a good option. We’ll call you after the referral has been processed to set up your appointment.” I’m not sure what I said or how the phone call ended, but I literally crumbled after I hung up. Our living room was a juxtaposition of emotions: P slumbering peacefully on the couch, and myself, panicking with fear and sadness.  I sank onto the floor and sobbed harder than I have in years.  These two words kept swirling in my head: worrisome mass.  I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach, and as I watched P sleep, I went through every worst-case scenario in my mind.  I also felt more alone than I’ve felt in a long time.  After I’d calmed myself down a little, I called the Pilot, my mom, and Betsy to let them know what was going on (they said they’d hop on a plane immediately if I needed them to) but in that moment, all I needed was someone, in real life, to tell me it would be ok. And that was something very difficult to go through by myself. I assured my mom, the Pilot, and Betsy that I’d be ok until I got the MRI and that if anything changed, I’d probably call for backup. I didn’t want to tell any of the wives or any of my local friends about it because it felt really personal.. and really scary. I kind of didn’t want to talk about it.  I ended up calling the doctor’s office a couple of times trying to get answers (why did I get that letter from the hospital if everything wasn’t ok? What did the ultrasound show? How big did it look? What were treatment options if it ended up being something?), and while the nurses were kind and took their time speaking to me, I didn’t get a lot of substantial information. The promised me it was likely nothing, but it’s better to get things checked out to be sure. [In the end, I found out that my PCP was the one who called it a worrisome mass because I, the patient, was worried about it, but the ultrasound didn’t show anything abnormal, which is why I got the “good news” letter from the hospital. In a nutshell, the first nurse who called me didn’t exactly read the chart correctly.] So, I continued to go through the motions of life, trying to enjoy time with the girls and savoring every second with them (even when they bickered and refused to sleep), meeting up with friends here in town, and teaching classes… and then crying pretty much every night. It was a hard couple of weeks. By the third week, I felt pretty numb to the whole thing, but there was an underlying cloud of worry in my day. I had just gotten used to it at this point.  I went in for my MRI appointment last week (which was just a bundle of fun), and got the results back yesterday. It looks like “excess glandular tissue,” so now I have to get a biopsy to make sure it’s benign. I’m pretty freaked out by the whole thing, but my doctor seems confident that it will be fine. He just wants everyone to have peace of mind and know for sure what it is, which I genuinely appreciate. This is going to be hard for me to write about articulately because I still feel like I’m in a shaky blur, but this whole thing was kind of like a reality check I didn’t know I needed. I stopped, listened, watched, absorbed, and was more present. I usually wake up so thankful for every single day, but I found myself mentally making gratitude checks for everything, all day. It was only thing that kept me from turning into a crying mess. I was able to mom, chore, work, socialize, and do all the things I needed to do, even though on the inside I was paralyzed with fear. When I would start to worry, the girls would say or do something funny, or surprise me with a hug or reach up to hold my hand. Gratitude, and our sweet babies, kept me from falling apart. At the end of each long day, I’d pour a mug of tea and call the Pilot, my mom, or Betsy, who were always there to talk me off the edge and help me maintain perspective. I’m still afraid and worried, but am trying to maintain a positive mindset over the next couple of weeks. Please know I’m thankful for all of YOU. Thank you so much for reading and being here now, and also while I was wrangling the girls on my own + dealing with this craziness.  So, there ya go. I’m going to say here’s hoping the next few months are uneventful.

http://www.fitnessclub.cf/2018/05/since-he-was-gone.html