#I just feel rn like I've never had an original thought in my head and am just ripping off shit I like

[the-punforgiven]

How do you even create like genuinely

[yourmidnightlover]

the sun

pairing: bucky barnes x fem!reader

summary: after the events of the snap, you find out news that's both heart wrenching and warming. what happens five years later when bucky's back?

warnings: death, mourning, pregnancy, childbirth, canon-typical violence (not much but just adding to cover all the bases), loosely based on end game and infinity war (as in ignore my mistakes lmaooo), if i failed to mention any warnings PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

wc: 2.6k

a/n: dude idk why i've had an urge to write such heart wrenching angst lately. i'm actually in a decent place rn. i tried to cut this fic down bc originally it was SOOOO long i felt like a lot of it was just filler and i feel like shorter fics of mine tend to do better... ANYWHO! this does have a happy/hopeful ending so no worries! also picturing this beefcake for this story is AGHHHHHHH!

you never thought two lines on a stick could ever break your heart the way they did.

tears clouded your vision as you gripped the counter, trying not to crumble or succumb to your grief.

6 weeks ago, the avengers lost. everything.

half of the world, gone in a moment.

in one moment, your world collapsed. seeing bucky fade to dust right in front of you...

sobs wracked through your body as you crumbled to the ground.

this was supposed to be a happy moment. there should be tears of joy, not sobs of sorrow. your heart should feel full of love, not like there's a super-soldier sized hole in it.

"y/n," nat's voice rang outside the door, giving you a moment to yourself.

"just-," you tried to level your breathing before she opened the door, knowing but not understanding the grief you were feeling.

she wrapped her arms around your body, tucking your head into her neck as she gently rubbed your back soothingly. steve leaned against the bathroom door, glancing on the counter to see what they had all expected.

a positive pregnancy test.

you were having bucky's baby.

without bucky.

you gripped his dog tags that you had been wearing since the funeral. they were the only thing that could truly ground you.

they brought back happy memories of cuddling in bed, the cool metal shocking your skin for only a moment before realizing that it was only bucky and smiling at the memory.

god, it hadn't even been two months.

how were you supposed to do this alone?

"we're here for you," steve's voice called from the doorway, as if he could hear your thoughts. "you'll never be alone. not in this... not ever." he shook his head, his brows furrowed in a serious, straight line.

eventually, your sobs subsided. you stood with nat from your seat on the ground, wiping your own eyes mustering up a pathetic smile before she left you and steve to work out your grief together.

"we didn't even know it was possible," you shrugged. "it's like he sent me them..." you placed your hand on an invisible bump before facing steve, his teary eyes reminding you that he had lost his best friend, too. "he sent us this baby."

you reached your hand out for steve to hold. he took it gratefully and pulled you into his arms, hugging you tight and letting only a few tears slip his waterline before pulling back.

"if you'll let me, i want to be there for you for everything," his chin wobbled. "buck would kick my ass if i let you go through this alone." a genuine laugh left your lips for the first time in nearly two months.

"i would be so grateful for that," you nodded as you let go of his arms. "part of me still can't believe that it's real. it's like part of me still expects him to walk into the compound from a long mission or something..." you shook your head. "i know that sounds so stupid."

"it's not," he shook his head with a smile. "it's what i wish was true, maybe it's your subconscious trying to preserve your mind?"

"maybe," you shrugged before continuing, "i should probably talk to tony and bruce, huh?"

-

you knew you were around eight weeks along.

according to the doctors' tony had enlisted, however, you were already 12 weeks along, which was impossible.

bucky had been gone on a mission at that time... but it's whatever. you got to hear the heartbeat. steve went with you, too. you both bawled together. you kept three copies of the ultrasound and he kept two.

banner had already offered to do some testing on the dna of the baby, noting that the serum would likely affect the pregnancy (as it probably already has).

you had talked to tony about retiring from the whole superhero gig for the time being. you needed to mourn and prepare for a new life simultaneously. tony had promised to provide anything you needed at the drop of a hat, and he sure as hell delivered.

within no time, your pregnancy was being measured at 20 weeks while only being pregnant for 12. banner was concerned for your body's ability to keep up with the rapid rate of growth of the baby. he had you on a strict, hefty diet with two different prenatal vitamins in attempt to help your nutrition.

in spite of your best efforts, you were always exhausted and in pain. but you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. this was bucky's baby. you didn't care how much pain you went through when you had half of him growing inside of you.

you couldn't walk for long without feeling like passing out, which banner chalked up to low iron. steve had grown progressively more worried for you and the baby the longer the pregnancy went on.

as a result, he had moved into the spare room that was in your and bucky's house. truly, it just made it easier for him to help you finish up the nursery anyway.

he was very handy about it all, painting, building furniture from scratch, the whole deal.

"i've been thinking... and if it's a girl, i want to name her evangeline james barnes," you informed steve as you ate the steak he had been making for the past few weeks of your pregnancy, as ordered by dr. banner. that with carrots, broccoli, potatoes, and for dessert strawberries, blueberries and raspberries over ice cream. "and if it's a boy, cyrus james barnes. evangeline means good news, and cyrus means sun."

steve placed his hand over yours, "i think buck would've loved them." he smiled warmly as you downed the food in a few minutes.

you had begun showing soon after you found out you were pregnant, but now, it felt like it was impossible to hide. nat had been wonderful about helping you keep up with the changes your body was going through, getting you new maternity clothes every week.

she even made sure to get you every single craving that wasn't in accordance to banner's hefty diet. not that he didn't want you to eat more, he thought it was best you did! but he also wanted to make sure that with all that you did eat, your body got as many nutrients as possible.

just to be safe, he kept you on other vitamin supplements anyway.

you couldn't help but imagine what bucky would say or do about everything now.

he would hold your body closely, pressing firm kisses to your bump every chance he could get while whispering some sickly sweet sayings to your unborn child, words that would melt the winter soldier's cold exterior.

he would whisper words of encouragement any moment you felt worried about your abilities to be a mom. he would say how beautiful you were, in spite of being bloated in places you didn't know could bloat.

he would be wonderful, and in your mind, he was still alive and vibrant. well, as vibrant as bucky ever was, at least.

truthfully, that's the only way you were able to keep going on like this. steve was wonderful, but you couldn't help but want the love of your life by your side as you tried to navigate this new chapter.

in a couple more weeks, you were projected to be at 32 weeks. bruce and tony were talking with your doctors about the safety of inducing so early, both for you and the baby.

oh, and you wanted the gender to be a surprise.

and within the week, you were having your baby.

steve and nat were by your side during the birth, whispering encouraging words and compliments of your strength.

"i need him!" you screamed in pain as you held one of each of their hands, sobbing in agony. "i need james! i need my bucky! i can't do this alone, i can't-i can't!"

"you can," nat reminded you. "this baby needs you," she held your face to look at hers. "bucky is a part of this baby." you swore you could see tears in her eyes before turning to face steve.

"remember what you told me when you found out you were pregnant?" he didn't bother wiping the tears from his face. "bucky sent you-sent us this baby. he knows you can do it." you sniffled before nodding at your two best friends, pushing with one last scream and a second later, you had...

"cyrus james barnes," the nurse called to you. "it's a boy, congratulations mom."

-

the next few years went by quicker than you could've ever imagined.

crawling, first words, first steps...

you missed bucky. not a day passed where you didn't miss him.

but, having cy helped a lot. he looked just like his father. dark brown hair, icy blue eyes, a cute little nose... not to mention his father's stubbornness.

you made sure he knew who his father was. you took him to the museum often, showing him the statue of his father and his background in the world war, him saving the world so much. you told him how you fell in love with him.

how you fell for the quiet man before ever really talking to him. how you were partners on a long-term, undercover mission and that's where your love ignited from the sparks.

not that cy understood any of what you told him. you just felt it was important to know that his parents loved him, and each other dearly.

you never took off his dog tags, either.

steve was a huge help the whole time. he kept working for the avengers, so he was gone often, but he provided a good male role model for cyrus. after all, he was his uncle steve. he already taught him how to throw a ball, albeit a little softball, but it counts!

you made sure to document everything that went on in yours and cyrus's life.

banner had said that cyrus was growing at an exceeding rate, but nothing to be concerned about. in fact, cyrus was turning five in almost half a year, meaning the anniversary of bucky's death, or disappearance or whatever you called it, was coming up.

then, you got a call from tony and banner.

it all happened so quickly, from testing to planning to the execution. pepper watched cyrus for you while you went back with steve, scott, and tony to get the tesseract.

of course, the men being men had to come upon a few hiccups, but eventually, after going as far back as the 70s, you brought back the tesseract.

the only thing is that nat never came back...

next thing you know, bruce is snapping his fingers and clint is getting a call from his supposedly deceased wife. your eyes fill with tears, hands searching in your pockets for your phone to see if you've gotten anything yet.

is it possible he wasn't brought back? he was the first to... disintegrate. die. maybe that meant something in the eyes of the stones?

then, you felt a buzz in your hand.

although, you didn't have any time to try to grasp what that meant, because more aliens came to earth.

shocker.

after yet another war, one that you weren't even prepared for, after losing more people, again. after losing tony...

but amidst the chaos of the aftermath of the fight, with screams of joy and shock and grief surrounding you, tears streaming down your face, your eyes met the blue ones you only saw in your son.

he slowly walked towards you as the tears sped up. you didn't even realize when your feet began running towards him.

when his arms wrapped around your waist, you finally felt the home you thought you had come to terms with never feeling again. your arms wrapped around his neck, your face buried in his shoulder as you breathed in the scent of gunmetal that had overtaken him in the battle.

"oh my god," you cried into the leather of his jacket. he lifted you off the ground, your legs wrapping around his waist as you felt his smile on your cheek. "i can't believe you're really here."

"i'm here, doll," his hands cradled your head so tenderly. "i'm not ever leaving again. never."

you pulled back before your eyes widened in realization. "you've gotta meet someone, jamie."

his brows furrowed in confusion, just smiling and nodding along with whatever you said.

within the next few hours, simply being held by bucky before steve stole him away with a hug, you finally brought him home.

"so, steve moved in," you started as you pulled your car into the driveway, turning to see bucky looking at you with an incredulous look. "you'll see why." you reached to hold his hand before he brought yours to his lips, pressing a kiss there.

you told him to wait in the car as you went inside to relieve the babysitter for cyrus. after giving him some cash, he went outside, knocking on your car window to let bucky know he should make his way inside.

upon entering, he saw you sitting on the floor with a little boy with striking blue eyes that seemed so familiar to him. his nose, too. his lips though, they were all yours. he had a slight grin plastered on his lips, one that matched yours to a t.

"daddy?" suddenly, it all clicked.

his heart, his mind, his fucking soul, everything made sense now. the pain, hydra, the mind washing, the torture.

meeting you. falling in love. dying?

his son.

he started walking closer to bucky before the steady walk turned into a run. bucky knelt down, wrapping the boy in his arms, cradling his tiny frame in his arms protectively. his son.

"cyrus james barnes," you said with a teary smile on your face. bucky, without breaking the hug with his son, looked up at you with a smile that matched yours. "cyrus means 'sun', and i thought it was fitting. he brought me so much light and hope after you..." you choked up before he stood up with cy in his arms, walking towards you before wrapping you in the big, family hug.

"i love you so much, both of you."

[luniarix]

*⁀➷ 𝙖𝙛𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙨𝙤 𝙡𝙤𝙣𝙜

sypnosis: basically in which toji and you are having sex for the first time after a 3 year long distance relationship <3

NOTE: WHY DID I TAKE HALF A YEAR TO FINISH THIS BRU. feeling like cory rn LMAAOOO— no but frfr school has been in the way and some personal problems have made it hard to write but im getting back on track i promise. i tried to make this longer than i originally wanted! more fics are otw i defff have plenty of ideas while i've been gone.

CW: fem!reader, virgin!reader, chubby reader!!, possessive!toji, domestic!toji, shy!y/n, whipped!toji, whipped!reader, age gap, established relationship, mentions of sexting, dry humping, unprotected!sex(wrap it before u tap it), mating press, marking, scratching, slight hair pulling, dirty talk, handjob if u squint, fingering, cunnilingus, after care, toji bein an absolute sweetheart cause i’m a sucker for affection, vv domestic moments bc im a romantic at heart, pet names such as; baby, sweetheart, mama(s), etc

majority of people say that long distance relationships were bound to fall apart one day.

not yours and toji’s tho!! of course not, even with all the stigma surrounding online relationships and with the added on fact that it’s “taboo” for toji to be years older than you, didn’t mean you two wouldn’t work out. duhh, you guys are safe from all that.

and so here you were, sat nervously on his couch in his house waiting for him to finish coming back from the convenience store. you guys had decided on your first ever actual date to be a more domestic one— so a movie night with snacks was the go to move. the click of the front door opening has you springing up and walking over to toji who has multiple bags with all kinds of treats.

“give me some. let me help you, kay?”

you mutter, taking a few bags from him before he could protest and setting them down onto the kitchen table. you go into the cabinets to pull out a few big bowls, and start pouring the food into them. all while you were doing this, toji unexpectedly comes up behind you and wraps his strong arms around your waist.

“have i told you how pretty you look baby?”

he presses a few kisses to your neck as he rubs circles on your soft hips, and you turn away from him to hide the way you’re becoming flustered.

“you’ve only been saying it since you’ve picked me up at the airport.”

toji spins you around to face him, and you begin biting your lip at the way he’s eyeing you down. good lord he was so sexy. but looking at him for too long would put you into cardiac arrest with how his green eyes pierced through your own. damn, since when did it get so hot in here?

“i’ll keep on saying it sweetheart, cause i like the way you squirm underneath my gaze.”

you swallow and give a shy giggle in return. you were so glad that toji was your first ever real long term relationship, because him being your first everything? the idea always had you squealing like a middle school girl. but your train of thought had dissipated when toji begun to gently squeeze your ass.

“toji… i- i needa set the bowls down onto the living room table.”

oh wow, now you’re stuttering? you felt a bit embarrassed considering how assertive you were between your texts and calls. yet here you were, getting shy at every gesture he made. obviously during your relationship you two had always been lovey dovey, but you never actually believed that toji himself was clingy. you aren’t complaining tho!! you adored that he was like this with you.

“that can wait, just let me kiss for a bit.”

and who were you to say no to his request? with the way he was holding onto your waist as he pulled you into a sweet kiss was when you knew this was worth waiting for. the soft sounds of your lips parting and connecting once more had your head spinning— your knees becoming weaker from every caress he gave.

“you taste so good mama.”

the signature nickname he gave you since the start of your relationship slips out, and you moan in satisfaction. you grip onto his black wife beater shirt, then smooth your hands up to grab onto his shoulders, jabbing your nails into his skin from how jittery you were getting. he softly bit your bottom lip, and that made you part your lips enough for him to slip his tongue in.

your vision grows hazy and your eyes close shut before pulling away in a gasping manner. toji gazes at you in desire as you begin to act like that didn’t phase you— when in fact you were trying your best not to start jumping around and doing jumping jacks. good god, you really did win the lottery with him. you push your hair back from your face and grab the bowls before walking right past him and setting them down on the living room table.

toji follows right behind you, pulling you back into him as he sits down on the couch. you squeal as you fall right into his lap, chest right against his. you flutter your lashes at him as he licks his lips and leisurely glides his hand down from your neck all the way down to your ass once again. it made your body twitch in delight, and you grind against his crotch in response to his tease.

“oh? ‘you finally gonna stop bein’ shy with me mama?”

toji rubs his hand up towards your waist and pinches your hip dip. you have your own hands massaging his shoulders as you begin to mutter in embarrassment,

“you keep trying to provoke me, asshole.”

toji gives you a sly grin before you impulsively decide to pull him in by the straps of his wife beater shirt, kissing him once again. you gasp desperately and he soon had his tongue dancing with yours. you nibble on his bottom lip and pull back just a little to tease him, which has his eyes widening in shock. your confidence boosts at that reaction and you begin to go down to his jaw, peppering soft kisses towards his neck and that’s when you begin to suck.

you give wet kisses to his adams apple and switch from sucking on his skin to kissing over the markings that began to fold. you do the same all over his neck and you then trail down to his collar bones. you moan in surprise when you could start to feel toji’s boner pressing against you through his sweats. wearing biker shorts wasn’t helping either because you could clearly feel the imprint.

you whine and grind against him, trying to create more friction as your arousal begins to stain your panties and possibly through your shorts. toji groans and grips onto your hips, both of you moving in a messy rhythm. your thighs began to tremble as your clit became more and more sensitive with each reaching second. soon enough you’d orgasm, all while being clothed.

this idea makes toji stop grinding against you, gripping onto your hips to stop you. you’re dazed out expression contorts into a frustrated one as you pout. why wasn’t he letting you orgasm? you knew toji was the type of man to put your pleasure over his own and yet he was stopping you from reaching your high.

toji only chuckles and brushes a thumb over your soft lips, nudging his finger in a bit to coat a bit of saliva on it. meanwhile, he’s rubbing your hips and thighs.

“i know you’re frustrated baby, but it’s our first time together, and you deserve to orgasm in a much better way than just dry humping.”

your lashes flutter against your skin as you melt against his touch. gosh, he was always thinking about you first and you loved it so much. you were so entranced that you could only nod in response, a dreamy expression on your face. after all, this was the first out of many that you guys could get intimate with each other face to face. toji smiles lazily, admiring how beautiful his baby looked. he’s then quick to take off your shirt and helps you slip off your shorts, only leaving you in your undergarments.

he squeezes at your pudge, loving how soft you were— grinning at how you twitched and tried to hold in your giggles. he loved every part of your body, and he was going to make sure to cherish all of you. you deserved to be loved right. toji leans forward to rest his head against your tits, reaching his hands behind your back to smoothly unhook your bra. you gasp in surprise as the straps begin to slip off your shoulders.

he pulls back to have your bra fall off, pretty tits now being exposed to him. toji sucks in a sharp breath as he internally groans at how big your tits were, bringing his hands up to cup them. you softly moan and your already perked nipples hardened even more. he fans his breath against one, and gently pulls on the other. your soft sighs is what brings him to hurriedly put his lips around your nipple, licking and kissing the bud.

you sharply inhale and squeeze his shoulders. you felt like a mess, because you couldn’t think straight and the only thing your mind could focus on was the way toji’s boner was right against you and neither of you were fully naked yet. you just wanted him to fuck you so good— to make up for all the years you two missed out on each other’s bodies.

toji kisses the nipple he was teasing his fingers with, and then begins to suck on it as he then swirls his tongue around your areola. you bite your lip and shutter in satisfaction, as you feel him begin to toy with your other nipple. toji makes sure to leave marks all over your chest before actually gently laying you on the couch, and taking his own shirt off. you’ve seen it all the time through pictures and videos when he would be sending you gym videos, or when you would facetime when he would be at the gym or when it was late at night, but it still came as a surprise to you on how well sculpted he was.

“ya like what ya see baby?”

he’s grinning at you, and you realize that you’ve been staring at him for too long. you roll your eyes and smile back at him. there wasn’t any point in denying at how in awe you were with how sexy your man was.

“i do. you look so handsome.”

toji’s eyes become hooded, pools of emerald green darkening at your compliment. he licks his lips before pulling at your panties, ripping them in the process of quickly having them be thrown somewhere on the floor. wow, he must’ve really liked that comment.

you prop your elbows up against the couch and watch with wide-blown eyes as he pulls down his sweats and boxers, also discarding the clothing somewhere on the floor. his cock was— big and oh so girthy. you were definitely turning into puddy by the next morning.

you gasp when he pushes your legs apart and he’s sloppily pumping himself as his gaze latches onto yours, and blood rushes to your face from how self-aware you were. he was jacking himself off to you right in front of you. and dirty enough, you liked it. you liked having him look so desperate right above you, as he gets himself prepared to fuck you.

god, was that whole length seriously going to go inside you? toji would always speak about how big he was in a cocky tone and when you saw it on camera for the first time, you knew not to doubt him. but seeing it in actuality made it sink in on just how big he really was.

your breaths get heavier the more his pre dripped onto your lower abdomen, and as he was beginning to groan more. you were quick to put a hand around the top of his length, teasing his tip. toji’s body jolts for a second before he’s quick to relax once again and his pace becomes faster.

you draw circles around his tip, making sure to gently squeeze him every few seconds. you could tell how bad toji wanted to cum with the way he started to buck his hips and the lewd squelching noises got sloppier.

“fuck, i can’t take this any longer.”

toji abruptly pulls away from you, backing up to then grab your thigh and slide his hands up to your knees, lifting your legs off the couch to have you be folded against him, legs now hooked over his shoulders. your eyes widen when his nose is pressing against your pubic area, and he’s looking up at you with devilish eyes.

“been waiting to do this for a while..”

he murmurs, licking his lips feverishly. he’s quick to press his mouth right against your cunt, giving leisure licks to your clit. you cry out in surprise, thighs quickly beginning to tremble. you try to silence your moans by biting your lip and having a hand cover your mouth. but toji looks up at you and furrows his brows.

he pulls you closer and pushes your hips upward, your ass slightly lifting off the couch cushion as he gropes your asscheeks. he’s eating you faster, tongue swirling against your clit and then feverishly leaving sloppy kisses— and repeat. your eyes roll back as your body jolts in utter pleasure.

you try to push his head back from how flustered you were— but instead, your fingers tangle themselves into his hair as you pull on it, tears prickling at the brims of your eyelids. you mewl pathetically, trying to move your hips in a rhythmic pace against his tongue. you could feel the knot in your stomach beginning to form.

“oh god! toji! m’gonna— gonna cum!”

you shriek, thighs closing around his head as your body shakes in such a way that has toji holding onto your hips to steady you a bit. you try to hide your moans with your hands again but he’s quick to grab your wrist with his free hand and pin it down to the bed.

when he feels like you’re wet enough, he slowly inserts one thick finger into your twitching hole. your pupils dilate and your mouth turns into an “o” as you desperately gasp for air. his relentless pace becomes too much to bare when he’s inserting another finger, and you squeal with pleasure. your own fingers couldn’t compare to how good his own were stretching you, working you to a release.

his mouth goes back down again, gently sucking on your clit, as his fingers roughly fucked you. your eyes are practically crossing and toji could almost see stars swirling in your pupils as you succumbed to the immense feeling that was beginning to build up. you were whispering his name, chanting it over and over again like a prayer and it made him want to reach down to his cock and pump himself to your moans.

“oh! oh, tojiii! please! please let me—”

a sly grin forms on his swollen lips, and he curls his fingers at that spot that has you almost screaming, back arching off the couch as you grip onto his hair for dear life, pulling on it as your body quivers in delight. he was so good at this you feared that you’d end up closing your thighs around his head without thinking and suffocate him on accident.

and when he gently takes your clit in between his lips and sucks all while hitting that sweet spot inside, you come undone. toji could barely hear the "m'cumming!" you squealed out before you're creaming against his face, juices flowing down to his chin as he laps up your overstimulated cunt, moaning in satisfaction at how addicting your taste was.

"god you taste so fuckin' good, sweetheart."

you whine in response, hardly registering what he said over the loud drumming of your heartbeat, a dazed expression painting your face which made toji chuckle. but he didn't want you to get tired just yet. and so, he's quick to swipe his tongue over his lips, fingers taking the dripping cum on his chin into his mouth all while looking directly into your eyes. he's then towering over you once more, green eyes shining once more through the illuminated moonlight peaking through the curtains of his home, streaks of dark raven hair being outlined by said light.

"I love you, to'."

the words slip out so easily, so naturally, that it almost surprised you. but it didn't, not as much as the faint sharp inhale you heard from the man above you. it wasn't that you guys hadn't really used the words between you two, but more so it felt more real, more raw, now that you could actually say it to each other face to face. not that it hadn't already meant a lot during the time that you were long-distance but cmon, who couldn't say that this was so much better?

he lines himself up against your folds, bending down to kiss you on the lips. he didn't say anything. but he didn't need to, not with the way he brought his free hand up to intertwine with yours, giving an affectionate squeeze. and certainly not with the way he had begun peppering kisses all over your face, from your forehead down to your chin. rather than saying it back, he's showing you. showing you that this? this was going to be you two from now on.

"you ready, baby?"

after seeing his dick for the first time? since forever.

but you only smile against his lips, nodding in response. he nuzzles your noses together, tip slowly pushing into you. you moan, back slightly arching off the couch once again. toji then gently puts your legs over his shoulders anew as he finally wedges the tip inside, stopping every now and then so you can begin to stretch out and accommodate his girth and length without much struggle.

"oh fuck, you're so fuckin' tight."

toji moans as he bucks against you slightly, pushing another inch further in. you throw your head back against the soft cushions behind your head and gasp. he was so big, you already felt so full. he inches in slowly, and you could feel yourself loosening up more and more. your thighs are visibly trembling, and you could feel every trace of his vein that trails down his entire length. at one point, you felt like you could feel him in your stomach. toji finally goes in to the hilt, and your mind went blank.

it felt like forever for him to fully stuff himself into your pussy but when he had, you could feel his tip kiss your cervix and your body was tingling all over, tears forming at the brims of your eyelids as a reaction of pleasure. your bodies were finally connected and you were thrilled, so much so that you began squeezing around him—tighter.

"shit baby, you're sucking me in."

toji whispers huskily, thick black bangs of hair stuck onto his forehead from sweat as his beefy arms are caging your head. you moan in response, wrapping your arms around his neck and fingernails pressing on his back, scratching him. he grunts, lifting up to position himself to squat on top of you. oh my god, toji had put you in mating press.

his hips move back and slam back into you and you force down a scream when you feel him go so deep. your tits circle as you shake in desperation, and your cunt spasms at the feeling of the way his cock twitches. toji laughs, voice so deep and raspy that it made you wetter than you already were. he was amused at your reaction.

but you were getting impatient. finally getting used to his size meant that he didn’t have to hold back, and you didn’t want him to. you wanted him to have you not feeling your legs by tomorrow morning, and screaming until the entire neighborhood knew his name.

“please to’… want you to fuck me hard.”

being so close to him meant that you could not only see his reactions, but feel them too. so when he shudders from your words, it has you whining. his hips slowly begin to move, and your hands squeeze his shoulders in utter delight as you repeatedly gasp with each soft thrust.

and when he grabs your disheveled hair to tilt your head back, aligns his lip right against your ear? it has you quivering around his cock as he whispers to you,

"y’want me to fuck ya until you’re cumming all over my cock hm? want me to fuck ya ‘till you’re seeing nothin but stars?”

your toes curl as you tighten around him, the delicious feeling has him sighing in ecstasy. you then nod frantically, raking your nails against his biceps. you couldn’t even give him any other response besides a pitiful whimper. toji chuckles darkly, before fixing his positioning on top of you.

he pulls out just enough so only the tip and an inch or so are wedged in, and then snaps his hips back into you with full force as you jolt while screaming out his name. and then he starts fucking into you, almost at a feral pace. you grip onto his shoulders like your life depended on it, jaw slacked and the most erotic moans spewing out of your glossed lips.

“oh- oh my god! toji! please! ffucckk!”

you never knew you could moan so loudly, and god was it embarrassing. not in the shameful way, but more so… the fact that you couldn’t ever imagine yourself moaning like this until toji made it possible. your thought process is shortly cut off when toji begins to groan— and, was that a whine that you just heard?

you feel his hand trail down to your twitching clit, and your lips form an “o” shape as he begins to ever so softly pinch it. you wail as you frantically claw at his back, bright red scratch marks appearing that were sure to last for a while. toji grunts, he wouldn’t admit it just yet but the pain from your nails mixed with the sheer pleasure your pussy was bringing him was making his balls swell much faster than he expected.

and the way your tight gummy walls were sucking his fat cock in— it was like you were begging to be filled up with his thick cum. but maybe that was just him speaking for himself. the idea of cumming in you was enticing; one that consumes his sexual desires. but not just yet. toji looks down to see a white ring begin to form at the base of his dick, and he licks his lips as he glances back up at you.

you looked so pretty, fucked out on his cock like this. your tits were jiggling in rhythm with his animalistic thrusts, and your nipples were rubbing against his chest. and he was even more enamored with the sound his balls slapping against your ass were making. fuck, he was bound to cum soon. but you looked like you were on the brink of shattering more so than he was.

that specific feeling of your stomach clenching and your body tensing up has you knowing that you were going to reach your release any minute. and so when toji begins to messily rub his fingers against your clit to overstimulate you all while he’s rutting into you with one goal in mind— you break.

your thighs are quaking against his body, as your cunt gushes out milky white cum, coating toji’s cock and his inner thighs. you whine when toji pulls out and releases on your stomach and tits, feeling empty without him inside anymore. with your eyes rolled back, lights swirling behind your eyelids as you were trying to form coherent thoughts, with you trying to control your ragged breathing; you almost didn’t register toji’s “you okay mamas?”.

you look at him through half-lidded eyes, and exhale out a velvet “mhm”, a lazy smile spreading across your lips to reassure him even more. he laughs softly and then slowly pulls back from you to have your legs lay on his sides, as he begins to slowly and gently massage from your thighs down to your ankles. you moan with relief as you hadn’t even taken notice to the slight pain within some parts of your legs that toji was rubbing on.

“you did so well baby.”

he mumbles, bringing one leg up to kiss from your calf to your ankle, then the other. you practically melt from his touches— he was so good at making you feel loved in all kinds of ways and it made you go crazy.

“thank you for this amazing first time experience, to’.”

you reach for his free hand, pulling him down so you can give him sweet kisses on his lips and cheeks. he kisses you back, squeezing your hand affectionately. you both pull away and you slowly sit up, leaning against him for support.

“only the best for you, sweetheart. i’ll be right back with a wash cloth for ya, ‘kay?”

you nod and watch as he gets up and goes back into the bathroom across the room to get a wash cloth, and he comes back in a few seconds. you sigh at the feeling of the warmth of the water on the cloth, and toji cleans the sticky mess he left before going down to in between your thighs to clean, then the couch. he jogs back into the bathroom to leave the cloth and wash his hands, and maybe his dick, and comes back to you once more.

he sits next to you and brings an arm around you, rubbing your shoulder with his hand. he then tosses a blanket that was laying on the side over you two— and you realized how bad you’ve always wanted this. gosh, you couldn’t wait for more moments like this.

and then you look in front of you, and you remember what you two were actually meant to be doing.

“baby, what about the movie we were supposed to be watching?”

toji’s eyes widen, almost like that never crossed his mind, and you can’t help but giggle at how fast he grabs the remote to put on Netflix and swipe through movies you two could watch.

“we still can mama, jus’ don’t fall asleep on me.”

“you’ve already tired me out, so no promises.”

you grin at the way he playfully rolls his eyes and gives you a cheeky laugh. so when he pulls you in to peck your forehead, and for just the sake of being closer?

you know that this is where you were meant to be.

P.S: wow!! this was so much fun from start to finish. writers block is a real pain in the ass but more is to come, at a less-half year disappearance-rate LMAO. def going to write more abt this trope, i loved it sm.

feel free to leave ideas in my inbox or a comment ♡ if i made any grammar mistakes that i missed, lmk！and thank u so much for reading (●´ω｀●)

[idolomantises]

What inspired Sera's design? I've always loved her design and would love to know some of your thought process when you were making her

Originally she was actually going to be very human and a fallen angel. her dynamic was basically the inverse we have now. a very forward and sexual angel who tries to seduce a shy and social anxious succubus. (sorry this is the only concept art i have rn thats not uh, lewd. the comics were originally going to be a lot different and for a separate account)

but i lost interest in the concept since i'm more of an opposite attracts type, and i wanted to explore both environments (cant exactly explore heaven if your wife is rotting in hell).

So I went with a more typical "serious angel x sexual succubus" type, but then went, "what if she actually was the more intimidating looking of the two". succubi are meant to be sexy and approachable, so what if her girlfriend was fucking weird and scary. I had a rough sketch (which i cant find for some reason) where Sera is this just this massive rings of fire with a giant head/eye inside, but then I felt like it was... kind of boring.

which is funny considering ive had people claim that my current sera design is trying too hard to be "biblicly accurate" but i wasn't trying to be! I wanted it to be a mix of version depicted in biblical art AND more humanized form. I wanted a partner for lili to hold hands with. An angel design that felt unique. Sorry if the answer feels vague, I never really had a specific design in mind when drawing her.

[runningfrom2am]

cold nights // part twenty-seven

summary: you were back in the capitol, and you would be damned if you didn't try your hardest to make it worthwhile.

pairing: coriolanus snow x fem!reader

wc: 3.4k

masterlists / nav / requests

tags/warnings: tribute!reader and mentor!coriolanus, r is very sweet (too kind for this world. literally.), sunshine x grumpy trope kinda, he falls first, violence typical for the source material, depictions of mental illness, also she's is very smart (as she should), district twelve!reader.

a/n: omg we're coming up on the end i could cry :') i finished writing everything and i feel like a shell of a person rn without this fic to plan and write, but i hope you guys are excited! there will be five more parts after this and then the epilogue, which brings me to some really exciting news!!

big news #1: i'm opening oneshot requests for this series!! my normal requests will remain closed but i'd love to see what you guys want for the more of this series! (link is here!)

big news #2: the end of this story is opening the doors to my third coryo series which I've been working on for a hot minute, and it'll be called requiem! (see the original request for it here to get the vibes before i post anything!)

my asks are also open to talk about this series! (i do have emoji anons open now too!)

send me any and all of your thoughts! here!

series masterlist // playlist

The protests caught you off guard, more than anything.

It had only been two weeks since you started your classes and you were loving them, but you hated getting dropped off in the morning and picked up in the afternoon. You and Coryo could no longer eat lunch outside, and the previously full lecture halls you had occupied saw more and more students dropping out as people stood outside just to shout at you as you came and went from the school four days a week. To call you an animal, that you don't belong there, that you should be "put down" for crimes against the Capitol. What they were? You had no idea.

Suffice to say, parents were not happy that you were there.

Generally, Coryo said that people had loved you in the games. You were "harmless", and "sweet", you gave them someone to root for- but now that you were walking freely among them instead of being kept behind the bars at the zoo or trapped inside the arena awaiting your death, you were suddenly a threat.

"They... they think I'll hurt someone?" You sniff, watery eyes overflowing as you look at Coryo lying beside you in his bed.

He bites his tongue, nodding as he wipes away your tears with the hand he has resting just under your cheek on top of his pillow. "They're afraid. That's all, it's not because of anything you did."

"I won't." You cry. "I would never, you know that, right?"

"I know, love. I know that." He promises you quietly.

"I don't want people to be afraid of me. It's not fair to them... If they feel unsafe I should just drop out."

"You're not doing that." He insists with a slight shake of his head. "We'll figure it out. Okay? Don't worry about them."

You just nod softly, wiping your eyes as he pushes his arm under your neck. "C'mere." He mumbles rolling onto his back and you move closer, laying your head on his chest as he pulls you closer to his side.

Coryo did figure it out, for the most part, which is how you ended up standing in Capitol TV's studios, awaiting an interview with Lucky Flickerman, someone you definitely thought you would never see again after the games. You didn't know how Coryo did it, who he had to talk to in order to convince them to let you plead your case so publicly. Apparently, the Snow name came with more power than you knew.

"You're gonna do great, love." Coryo whispers to you. "Just be yourself, but remember what I said about your essay, right? Be honest, but think about how you word things. I know you can do it." He assures you quietly, hands resting on your shoulders.

You nod, giving him a hopeful smile. "Thank you."

"I'll be right here, I'm not going anywhere." These types of reassurances were becoming less and less necessary over the month you've been here, but still, you don't like it when he's far, and he doesn't like it when he doesn't know where you are. It worked nicely for you both.

"Miss Y/L/N, whenever you're ready." One of the crew directs you, pointing to the comfortable chair they had set up in front of a homey-looking backdrop. It was fake, but it was meant to look like you were in someone's house. The idea of it was confusing to you, but you supposed it was also unimportant. You had much bigger concerns.

"Thank you." You smile at them and give Coryo another quick nod before making your way over to the seat that they said was yours.

Coryo watches as you carefully brush your hands over the front of your dress, smoothing it as you sit down. You looked so elegant as you did it, if he didn't know better, it looked like the habits of the people you were now surrounded with were rubbing off on you quickly. He had watched you rehearse how you would carry yourself and how you would speak and act with Tigris just this morning, after she fit you into the dress she had made for the occasion. Clearly, you had been paying attention.

When you draw your hair from your back and over your shoulder so your meticulously styled curls wouldn't be crushed against the chair, Coryo thinks he might need to sit down. Especially so when you look back at him again, subtly waving at him with your hand from where they are placed in your lap. The dress Tigris had given to you was red- a deep red silky material that complimented the red of his coat and mimicked the shade of the Capitol's flag but still had you standing out on your own. Seeing the way that dress fit you and hugged your form in all the right ways even as you were sitting, he was sure he had never been more grateful to his cousin and her talents.

"Y/N, it's so good to see you again." Lucky smiles at you as he sits down across from you, adjusting the small device attached to his lapel as crew members come up to you and fasten the same thing to the front and back of your dress.

"You as well." You grin, trying the best you can to mask your nervousness.

"Are you ready? Do you need anything?" He asks and you shake your head.

"I am ready whenever you are." You confirm, looking around as some more lights flick on, bright in your eyes as the man behind the camera starts counting down.

You look over at Coryo one last time and he nods at you. It was just like your first interview all over again- you had to sell yourself to the people. To prove that you were worth trusting.

"My name is Lucretius "Lucky" Flickerman," You smile as he flips a coin up into the air. You've seen him do it before, but you still weren't sure how the trick worked. "Amateur magician and your host for everything interesting on Capitol TV, and today is certainly no exception. Today, I have a familiar face with me who I know you will all recognize as well, the Victor of the Tenth Annual Hunger Games, Miss Y/N Y/L/N." He looks over at you and you keep your eyes on him, certain that all cameras are watching you now.

"Y/N, I am so happy to have you back. How have you been?" Lucky asks you and you're already fighting off the need to fidget with your hands.

"I am very well." You smile at him. "How about yourself? It has been a while."

"I'm great, thank you! You know, I was not allowed to bet on the games, but anyone who was there can tell you that I predicted your win from the beginning. You certainly are something else."

"Oh, well thank you." You giggle. "Though, I can't fully be credited for my win. I have to thank the sponsors who allowed Coriolanus to send me food and water. That made all the difference in my game."

"Oh, most definitely." He agrees. "But you shouldn't deny your own role in that. Hiding in the vents, that was genius!" Lucky claps. "Truly, that was a jaw-dropping moment for all of us watching. I remember thinking 'wow, how did she think of that?' It was incredible!"

"Yes, well, I saw the grate and knew it was worth a try." You shrug, slightly laughing. "I had nothing to lose."

"Yes, well, I'm dying to know- what have you been up to the last few months? You went back to Twelve, and then what?"

"Oh! Yes, I did. I've been spending time with friends and family, I got a job at the local library, catching up on some reading, that sort of thing." You grin, glancing at Coryo for only a moment and he gestures for you to continue. "I got home and I really realized for the first time how much we should be appreciating everything we have- even out in the Districts where sometimes life is tough, it's key to remember how privileged we are to be alive. The games were truly eye-opening for me."

Coryo gives you a quick nod of approval, and you smile, training your view back on the man across from you.

"Yes, I agree. Live life to the fullest, that's what they say." You just nod at his response. "Which also begs the question, if you were happy back in Twelve, what brought you back to the Capitol?"

Let the lies begin.

"Well," You laugh nervously. "When I was given the opportunity to come here for the games back in July, I was so interested in everything. The people who I got to talk to, the things I got to see, it was all amazing and I was just dying for more."

"So you decided to come study at the university here, is what I've heard."

"Yes, exactly." You grin. "I just think that the Capitol has so much to offer as far as education goes, I am already learning so much and I am having so much fun doing it."

"So really, your focus is just on your education." He prompts you and you nod.

"Definitely, considering the course load I don't have time for much else, but that doesn't really bother me. Like I said, I just want to learn from the greatest minds in the nation. Even the other students, it's amazing! Everyone has earned their spot there and I can see why and all the work they have put in to be there. It's a privilege to study among them, and I am so grateful that I was given this chance."

"You say 'all the work that they put in to be there', but you didn't attend the academy, so how is it that you were admitted?"

"I filled out the same application that all the other students did, I went through all the same testing." You confirm, nodding at him. "Although," You laugh slightly. "I was only given one day to complete it all. I was locked away in my room working on it all night. I hardly had time to blink, it was tough."

"Wow!" Lucky laughs. "One day? I remember when I applied to the university, my application took months to get just right. You must have aced it all."

"I am very proud of the work I did to be admitted, yes." You smile.

"From what I hear, you should be." He agrees. "So, you're really not in it for the sake of making friends."

"Well, I certainly would love to, but it is not my priority." You nod. "But, if any of my classmates are watching, I promise I am good at proofreading and if you need a second set of eyes on your papers, I'm happy to help. I'd also love to have more people to discuss our readings with." You joke, looking into the camera for the first time.

Lucky laughs. "You've heard it here, everyone. Y/N's pitch to make some friends!"

"Yes, I suppose it was." You chuckle, smiling at him.

"Now on the topic of friends while we're getting to know you better," You tilt your head at him while he begins the question, unsure where it is going. "Back home, do you have a boyfriend? Surely he must be missing you."

"No, not at home..." You laugh, catching in the corner of your eye as Coryo shakes his head at you, his face flat of emotion. "I don't have a boyfriend. Again, that's really just not where my priorities lie at the moment. I've... I've had a very busy year, you could say." You explain hesitantly.

"Wow! A beautiful girl like you?" You laugh nervously at his response. "Capitol boys! She's smart, pretty, and single. Just saying." He says, raising his hands.

You knew his job today was to help you, to make you more likable and more normal, to humanize you, but it was still uncomfortable to hear. "Oh, please." You laugh nervously, waving a hand at him. "Like I said, I'm just here to learn. I'm not after anyone's son."

"No? Not even all the handsome boys in your classes? I'm sure there are at least a few." He teases you and your cheeks flush red.

"I wouldn't know, I'm watching the lectures." You shrug jokingly.

Coryo is trying not to lose his mind while you talk about how single you are. Not that you were much of a willing participant, and to be fair he did tell you not to indicate to them that the two of you were together. You technically weren't, if he was being totally fair, but just because it hadn't been said doesn't mean it isn't real. He knew you knew that, though. So why was he getting so mad?

He doesn't even realize how little attention he was paying after that until you're standing up and shaking Lucky's hand. It was over, you'd done everything you could have to ease the minds of scared and angry Capitol parents.

Lucky gives you a quick hug, wishing you good luck in your classes before you're allowed to rejoin Coryo. "Ready to go?" He asks and you nod.

"How did I do?" You ask as you walk out of the studio and into the hall, aiming for the elevator to take you back to ground level.

"Amazing, love. You were perfect." Coryo confirms, still noticeably tense as he walks next to you.

"Are you sure?" You ask as he presses the button to call the car up to your level, unsure since he still hasn't really looked at you.

The door opens and you both step in. "Yes." He tells you again, quickly tapping the door close button.

"Oh, good. I was really nervous..." You laugh slightly as the doors slide shut, and as soon as any light from the hall ceases to enter the elevator his hands are on you and his lips are pressed against yours.

You let out the slightest squeak out of shock, but quickly relax as Coryo rubs familiar small circles on your hips with his thumbs. How he could be so gentle as he backs you into the wall of the elevator you don't know, but you're grateful for it as you hum into his mouth. But still, something was different.

Spending so much time with you only made him want you more. He loved you, he knew that, and someplace deep in the corners of his mind, he had always wanted you in a way he never thought possible when he first fell for you before the games. Now, with you curled up under his sheets almost every night, seeing you step out of the bathroom with damp hair after a shower in pyjamas that don't fit you quite right, he thought about it more than ever. Thoughts of you plagued him more than usual, and the best way to describe the accompanying feeling was guilt. Guilt that he couldn't show you off given the circumstances- at least not yet.

He trails his kisses away from your lips and across your jaw, pulling you tighter against him. "You're so beautiful, my love..." He mumbles into the skin just below your ear, leaving a kiss in his wake that has your head spinning.

You giggle, eyes fluttering open. "What has gotten into you?" You ask, hands sliding up over his chest to rest on his shoulders.

"I can't tell my girlfriend that I think she's gorgeous?" He asks, shaking his head slightly as he looks down into your eyes.

"Oh, so I am your girlfriend." You giggle and he nods, kissing you again.

"Of course you are, and don't forget it." He chuckles, pulling back from you as the elevator stops moving, waiting for the doors to open.

Your skin is flushed down to your chest as the doors slide apart and even though he's not touching you anymore, you can feel the ghost of his hands on you. You look up at him, a lingering smirk still on his face as he looks straight ahead and leads you out of the car.

The phone rang at the time you were eating dinner, and you quickly asked if you could be excused to go answer it. Coryo and Tigris both just nodded at you, but you could still feel their grandmother's eyes burning into your back as you quickly walked away. She still wasn't fond of you, but she tolerated you. For now, that was just enough.

You grab the phone off the receiver as the small round screen flickers to life. "Hello?" You answer, hopeful that it would finally be your family you see on the other side.

You had answered every call that came to the Snow's apartment for weeks, waiting anxiously to hear their voices again.

"Y/N, is that you, honey?"

You gasp with excitement when you get a clear enough view of your ma. "Ma! Hi!" You smile, leaning in a little closer to get a more clear view as the camera on their end begins to adjust. This was likely the first time it was being used.

"Oh, honey, how good it is to see you!" She smiles, and out of nowhere, you feel hot tears welling up in your eyes.

"You too, Ma." You nod, biting into your lower lip. You didn't want to cry so quickly into the call. "How are you? How's everything at home?"

"Same old." She shakes her head with a slight laugh. "I'm much more interested in you- how is everything? How is school? And how is Tybalt settling in? How are you settling in? My goodness, I just have so many questions!"

You laugh, quickly wiping a stray tear. You had told them about all of this in letters, of course, but she just wanted to hear you say it all. "Everything is good. School has been so lovely, Coryo walks me to all my classes and we eat lunch together between. And Tybalt just loves it here! They have a garden on the roof, and I take him up there as often as I can. Tigris won't stop giving him treats either so he couldn't be happier."

You look down at the animal as he brushes against your leg, looking up at you.

"That's amazing. I've been so worried, it's just so good to see your face again. God, we've been missin' you..."

"I miss you too." You agree, careful not to choke on your tears. "How is Len? And have you seen Lucy Gray and the Covey?"

"He's... He's doing alright." Your mother looks off-screen, and you assume he must be there. The look on her face, one of nervousness and hesitation tells you he doesn't want to speak to you. "But Lucy Gray has been around every day, she and Maude Ivory come over and they help me with hanging the laundry and such... It's been good to have them around."

You smile sadly, nodding slightly with the receiver pressed to your ear. You felt bad about that aspect of leaving- you spent as much time as you could before the games helping out around the house, but even in the summer when you came back you weren't much help. Your mother wouldn't let you do dishes all summer, for fear that the sight of a knife might set you off. She knew you came back a different person, and she wasn't taking any risks. All she really allowed you to do was hang laundry and "keep her company" while she did other home chores. But now, she didn't even have that.

"Can I speak to him?" You ask, referring to your brother who you knew was there.

She nods, waving off camera and holding her hand over the wrong part of the phone. "Lennox, come over here. Y/N wants to talk to you."

His response is muffled, but you make out the gist of it. 'I don't want to talk to her'.

"She's your sister, Lennox. You can't ignore her forever."

'If she wants to talk, she should come home.'

Your heart clenches in your chest and you chew your lip. You have to pretend you couldn't hear, but you just felt so horribly guilty. You shouldn't have left, but he doesn't understand you had no choice. He wouldn't be able to understand until you could come home and see him again, likely not until the summer. Coryo had told you to be mindful of what you write in letters and what you say on the phone, it's possible others were listening. The Capitol was always listening.

"He's just a little busy right now, honey." She smiles at you, but you can see right through it. "But tell me about your day! Did you have class?"

taglist: @soulessjourney , @that-veela-girl ,  @dreamyysouls, @rockstarbfs, @maysileeewrites , @baybieruth , @kitscutie,  @fratboyharrysgf0201 , @totallynotkaibiased , @stelleduarte , @secretsicanthideanymore , @bejeweledreverie , @drewsandsebastianswife , @niicole-87 , @queenofshinigamis , @innercreationflower , @nallasstuff , @iovemoonyy , @thatmarvelchick19 , @wearemadeofstardust0 , @regulusblackcore , @puredreamagination , @fantasticchaosthing , @becauseseaotters , @secretsicanthideanymore , @strawberryflavouredkisses, @cascadingbliss

okay suddenly tumblr isn't letting me tag more people than this so i just made some cuts unfortunately :') i just left the max amount of people i could whose users i recognized and see in my notifs all the time :) if you're not on here and you should be i'm so sorry!

also this taglist is closed now!! if you’d like to get a notification when i update, turn on my post notifications!! i promise i won’t spam y'all :,)

[heartofwritiing]

and you just can’t say goodbye.

paring: (zombur) William Godwinson x fem!reader

summary: Wil gets bitten, and angst ensues.

authors note: HUGE thanks to @ax-y10 for the help because originally this fic was gonna end a lot more agnsty but then they gave me an idea that was more on the happy side! I've never written a zombie apocalypse setting before so please excuse anything I get wrong. I've only watched other people play The Last of Us and I've briefly seen one episode of The Walking Dead so you can see how this will probably go. lol. The Sorry Boys zombie video is brain-rotting in my head rn I've watched it about four times now. yes. I love Zombur, so here's a drive-by of me throwing this fic at you and then skirting off with smoke from my tires. enjoy the brainrot :p (I'm so sorry this took me so long to get out, I've been procrastinating finishing it because I'm having some self-doubt at the minute but I hope you guys like this anyway even though it's a mess lol)

warnings: zombie apocalypse au, angst, death, violence, swearing, lots of kissing, characters use guns, the writer doesn't know anything about how guns work lmao, sort of happy end? super unedited!

"shit! I'm out of ammo!"

You pulled the trigger on the handgun once more, but nothing. It was luck that you had even found one. Even so early on in an apocalypse. A month had gone by since the first day of the outbreak. Though it was likely that you should've died on the first day, you don't know why you've survived this long. you should be dead.

At first, you thought staying in your apartment was the best chance you had of surviving. Big mistake. That strategy turned south when your front door was barged in after four days of no disturbance from any outsiders. Your boyfriend Wil had grabbed everything you could carry, and you hadn't stopped moving ever since.

Now, you and Wil found yourselves trapped in an alley with no escape. A pack of infected had cornered you, slowly closing in while making menacing noises. Wil bravely stood between you and the horde, fighting them off to protect you.

"Climb up the fire escape!" he shouted back at you.

You looked around until you spotted a ladder conveniently placed on the side of the building within reach. Infected were dropping like flies as Wil's shots echoed through the air. The ladder shook as you climbed, heart pounding in your ears. You glimpsed down to check and see if Wil was following, to find he was surrounded on all sides by infected. Your heart dropped when you saw one of their mouths was too close to his wrist. By the time you called out his name, it was already too late.

'Fuck!' Wil screamed as the infected bit through his skin and charred his flesh. Blood gushed down his arm and around the infected's mouth. You cry his name as he reeled back his fist and punched the infected repeatedly until it staggered off of him, but it was too late. Your eyes were fixed on him as he quickly climbed up the ladder, gasping for breath as he did so. He seemed in immense pain as he pulled his body up the ladder, slightly struggling.

Upon reaching the roof, you found a roof access leading to a floor with multiple doors, revealing it to be an apartment complex. Wil was already feeling the effects of the infection. His skin was sticky with sweat, the bitter taste left in his mouth tasting the blood rising in his throat, and the sudden vertigo he got just by rushing down the stairs was enough to make him nauseous.

You came to the floor with all the apartment units and quickly kicked in the door of the closest one. It took a few attempts to kick the door, and then bam! The sound of splitting wood and the door bouncing off the wall made a delirious Wil jump.

You entered the small room, helping Wil through the doorway, and setting him down gently before closing the door. You searched around for something to barricade the door with. Just in case of any infected find you. The only thing that looked heavy enough was the dresser tucked into the corner. Using all your muscles, you pushed the object across the room with the bottom of the dresser scraping against the wood, grimacing at the loud noise.

Letting out a sigh of relief, you knew you were safe for now. You dusted your hands off and turned back to Wil who was slumped against the wall on the floor, clutching his bitten arm. Wincing and squirming from the heat burning through his skin spreading throughout his veins.

The room was dim, and you noticed the sweat beading down his forehead. You quickly took your backpack off your shoulders and strode over to him. Taking out the first-aid kit you had for emergencies, you pulled out the tiny bottle of anti-septic cleaning solution and the roll of bandages.

You gazed down at his wrist, which was curled against his chest, shrouding you from looking at it. The ring of teeth marks oozing out the color of maroon as black vines protruded around the area, extending over his skin. His head lulled to the side as he let out a moan of pain.

"No, baby, keep your eyes open," you tried to lure him back to consciousness. Take his hand and position it palm up in your lap. He whines like a wounded animal in response.

Unscrewing the cap, you quickly prep the cotton pads. Then you quickly realize you should've put on gloves beforehand. Muttering curses under your breath you shake your head at the thought, There was no time.

"What are you doing?" Wil's voice slurs. He sounds groggy, like something is trying to creep up his throat to escape, not him. It scares you. You refuse to look at him.

"I have to clean the wound before it gets infected," you say nonchalantly.

With the little strength he has left, Will reaches out his unbitten hand to catch yours. You stop your movements in disbelief of his actions, tears brimming in your eyes as you try to save his life, but he stops you again. You both know what's inevitable, you just can't accept it.

"Wil-" you try to pull out of his grasp. You reach out to touch his wrist again this time, he is the one who pulls away.

"Look at me," he pleads. You can't bring yourself to shift your eyes to his, knowing this was inevitable. You had to try. He had to let you try.

"just stop."

Wil tries to grab the items from your hands, but you move too quickly for his shrinking reflexes to keep up. Moving beginning to be too strenuous.

"I can't- Wil-" You struggle to fight against him, too scared to hurt him. Though he's already dying.

"Stop, honey..." he quivers.

"Just let me save you!" you cry. It echoes through the room. The air is tense, and you finally meet his eyes. His skin is sickly pale, eyes bright with red veins and glossy. Purple hues outline under his soft doe eyes as they peer into yours. He fists the hem of your shirt, inviting you closer. Your breaths mix together as he presses his forehead to yours.

The words hang between you, but you bite your tongue. You want to tell him how much you want him to stay and not give up. Deep down, you already know it's not enough.

"It's too late for me darling, leave me here.”

“I'm not leaving you,” you say sternly, shaking your head.

You were determined to stay with him, no matter how difficult things got, you were unwilling to abandon him.

“Please, I don’t want you to see me turn into a monster.” his voice wavered. Your heart sank. No matter what, he would always be your Wil. Sweet, caring, and lovable Wil. Whom you adored with every fiber of your being.

You reach up to cup his face with your hands, but they feel cool against your clammy skin. His cheekbones are slowly becoming more prominent. You stare into his eyes, but the urge to tell him to be quiet becomes harder as anger festers in your chest. However, it's not anger towards him, but rather frustration towards the universe.

Instead, you snuggle up next to him to demonstrate your lack of fear and your trust in him. You want to be by his side and provide comfort. You understand that it's unrealistic to expect him to recover from this infection given his history of being sick and having a weakened immune system. It's best to accept the inevitable outcome.

It's unclear how much time has passed while the two of you remain in that position. His arm securely around your shoulder holding you close, with your arm laid across his lap where your fingers provided soft circles against his hip bone. The room grows darker as the sun sets. The air feels eerie yet comforting all at once with Wil by your side. Nothing but the sounds of his raspy breathing and occasional coughing fit to surround you. He whispers through the dark against the crown of your head with horse words. Sweet nothings, promises that make you curl into him further so he can't see the single tear you shed.

He lifts his hand to gently cup your cheek, tilting your head to meet his gaze. Selfishly, he leans in for a soft kiss. You whine at the metallic taste in his mouth when he groans to part his lips so his tongue finds yours. It makes your head spin like a top how this man makes you feel. His lips are chapped, rough, and fast as he indulges in you for maybe the last time. You gasp and reach up to tangle your fingers in his locks to reel him closer to you. His hand finds the underside of your thigh, digging into your flesh. The mere touch of his hand sets your body ablaze and sends shivers down your spine.

It's frantic and passionate, your love for him shown physically. When you disconnect, suddenly remember you need to breathe. his eyes are hazy and his pupils are blown. You are sure you look like a flustered mess.

"I love you," he says sincerely, and you believe him.

It stings in your chest, you can't stand it.

"I love you more," you reply.

You tuck yourself into his neck, breathing in the scent of sweat and outdoors, and it's calming. Wil rests his head on the crown of your head. You neglect how his breathing has slowed as you drift off to sleep.

-

The next time you open your eyes, the sun peeks through the window, casting a golden glow over the bedroom. Your bones crack when you sit up to stretch from sleeping in the same position all night. You knew you'd regret it later when you had back pain for days. You turn to Wil, who doesn't stir when you move. Your heart dropped when you noticed something different about him.

Around his eyes were a darker color than the previous night. His cheekbones were completely sunken in where you could almost see the bone. his lips were a blueish color and his chest was rising and falling.

This was your fault. You should have stayed awake.

Tears streamed down your face as you called out his name, gently shaking his body, but he didn't respond.

"Wil!" you wailed, begging for him to come back.

You slumped forward, cradling him against your chest, pressing kisses to his temple, and muttering apologies against his cold skin. You felt your heart break as you realized he was gone, and tears rolled down your face as you held him close to you. You felt a deep emptiness settle in your heart. You knew you would never fill the void his death had left. You sobbed, gripping him tighter, and whispered your final goodbye. You held him close, cherishing holding home one last time. Knowing that you would never be the same again.

You're too distraught to move. You don't want to leave him here, but you don't have any other choice. The urge to keep on and survive was slowly fading now that you had no one left in this cruel world.

Wil felt heavy in your arms to the point where your arms were falling asleep, but you refused to let go. If you were to leave now, you may be tempted to never return to the person you once were. Allow your sorrow to consume you. The one good thing left in your life was gone.

You suddenly felt hands grab your lower back, causing you to yelp in surprise. Fingers gripe harshly at your skin through your clothes. Wil's chilled breath glides up your spine as he lets out a deep groan against your collarbone. He was alive? How?

His lips ghosted across your collarbone, pressing his nose directly into your pulse point. His hot breath fans across your exposed skin, causing goosebumps to rise along your body. Then, you feel his teeth nipping at your skin, and your eyes widen realizing his intentions.

You jerk away and shove him off you roughly. Crawling backward, quickly shuffling away from him, your heart pounding, until your back hits the opposite wall with a thump. You wince in pain from the impact and notice Wil gradually beginning to crawl toward you. A fixed gaze over his sheer white eyes, almost glowing like moonbeams. Chills ran down your spine as you gazed at your former lover, unrecognizable.

You froze as he approached, shrinking in on yourself. His body lazily dragged itself across the wooden floor, scrapping and groaning with every floorboard. Once he was close enough, his hand unexpectedly reached to grasp your ankle, and you screamed in fear. Nails harshly dig into your skin and create recent moon shapes that make you cry out.

He yanked you with a surprising strength until you were laid beneath him, overbearing you. You are powerless as Wil, or not Wil's body leaned over you and cadged you with his arms. Tears flow from the corners of your eyes and into your ears as his face inches towards you.

"Please," you whisper. Again, he tilts his head in curiosity at you.

"William?" Your eyes bore into his, trying to find some trace of life left in them. You observe his eyes returning to their natural color and a look of terror crossing his face as he regains consciousness. He staggers back and moves away from you frantically, clutching his chest and struggling to breathe.

You both sit on opposite sides of the room against the wall, he stares into the floor burning holes into the wood, avoiding your eyes. You just blink blankly at him in shock, knees tucked against your chest again.

Wil cradled his skull, clutching fist fulls of his hair, squeezing his eyes shut, and heaving breaths of panic puffed out his mouth. Mumbles of "I'm sorry," repeated like a mantra over, and over out shakily.

You let out an unsteady breath, His eyes quickly flicked over to you and fear flooded your senses once again.

"Darling?" he tries, his voice hoarse. He moves towards the center of the room, positioning himself a safe distance from you. “I'm sorry... I don't know what came over me..." his voice trails off.

He noticed your tense reaction upon watching him inch closer to you, and it broke his heart to see you trembling in fear due to his prior actions. He could never forgive himself for causing you such distress.

"is it really you?" you asked.

"I don't know," he says honestly. "I don't feel like myself, It's like I'm trying to grab hold of a stearing wheel and fight for control right now."

Your heart sank at his words. You let them maul over in your head for a moment. It sounded like your Wil, but you hesitated in reaching out to him. So, was he alive? He didn't look it, his skin was still deathly pale and almost decayed. Nose now dripping with dried blood that ran down his lips.

His head hangs low as he silently sobs. He didn’t want this. Now he was dead and was leaving you to defend yourself. He swore he would always protect you and he’s failed. He knows its selfish to ask you to stay with him, you should just leave him here to rot. Still, he begs you.

“Please, darling dont leave me,” You shake your head and crawl towards him. He might be an undead zombie now, but you still loved him more than anything else is this life. You would do anything for him. You take his face in your hands to tilt his head up but he avoids your eyes. “look at me,” his eyes shift to yours.

“I wanna help you baby, and im sure as hell not gonna leave you, not now, not ever.” you proclaim. “So don’t you dare ever try and push me away, because im staying. No matter how complicated things get.”

You bring yourself to kiss his forehead, your warm lips making him sigh out from the touch. He holds you for what feels like hours. Eventually you both know you’ll have to leave this abandoned apartment, whether you run out of food or more zombies show up. move on, then figure things out. Whatever it takes you would stay together, no matter what.

taglist: @trashcanduck @merakiwi @addxms @ax-y10 @scenefaez @starsyoubreaklikesugardust @drop-of-void

[thisgirlnamedblusy]

Hi!!!!! Once again THANK YOU sm for the FOOD like i've reread all ur fics again while waiting for my hair to set hehe it's just. a really great way to pass time and think abt the fluff and the sin <3

AND ummmmmm not to also jump in the bandwagon but. im feeling... 😳😳😳 rn and would like to request for a 5'1 catgirl!reader with gp!Marilyn OR Laurel if that's okay 👉🏻👈🏻

Basically Reader doesn't realize she's going into heat (IT'S HER FIRST TIME & SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS EVEN A POSSIBILITY BUT OHHHH BOY) but Mari/Lau notices and teases her throughout the week with indulging her being more affectionate but then the heat smashes into reader like a freight train and she's left a mewling mess for her Mommy!!!!

like help she's full on NEEDY for Mari/Lau but she's MEAN and teases Reader further and Reader goes "if you don't want me, I guess I'll just to go out and see who wants me! >:(" to trigger Mari/Lau's possessiveness & Mari/Lau rising to the bait BC READER IS HER KITTY & NO ONE ELSE'S LIKE. hhhhh hhHhHhhHh NUH UH, YOU'RE MINE 🔪

AND HELP also Mari/Lau going "Aw, does my dumb little kitty cat need Mommy to breed and fill her up her own kittens? Is that what you want?" while Reader just a drooling mess underneath her IS CURRENTLY LIVING IN MY MIND RENT FREE AND IM JUST. CLENCHING MY FISTS SO HARD. like PLEASE,,,,,,,,, bestie,,,,,, if ur ok with this req and write it I will literally owe u my life thank u sm 🫂

PS: feel free to go ham with the breeding & dumbification kink bc im literally biting down on one of my stuffed toys rn just thinking abt it and WAHHHH once again, thank you 😳💕

Yesss!!!! Here it is!!!! I hope you like it and sorry about the language mistakes!!! It was so funny to write it!! Thank you for your request!!!! <3 <3

Poor Kitty

Pairing: Marilyn Thornhill x Fem, Student, Cat girl! Reader

Warnings: Smut, Intersex Marilyn (She has a dick) several kinks, heat, teasing, blowjob…

Word count: 5,181

Summary: You were a cat girl, and you have many needs, maybe your lover can fulfill your desperate desires…

N/A: Requests are open!!! Sorry about the delays, I’m working hard on your requests. I love you all!!!

“Shit, it's hot,” you whispered.

You were in the library, doing what you had to do, homework, study...

But you were finding it much more complicated than usual. It was supposed to be winter, it was supposed to be cold, but you were sweating while chills of unknown origin ran through your body. It was hard for you to focus, there was too much noise in your head, a noise that didn't come from outside, there was no one in the library, and those strange sounds could only come from inside you, purrs that you were afraid someone besides you would hear.

Purring was something common in you. You were a cat woman, something like a werewolf, but without problems with the full moon and increased aggression. You were simply, according to what your companions said: Just a kitty.

You knew you could be fearsome if you thought about it, that if you transformed you could rival even the fiercest werewolf. You weren't interested. Your only worries were your studies. You were always a very good student and you made your parents proud. You just had to be careful about maybe a ball rolling on the ground or some small animal in the forest did not attract your attention so much as to distract you.

The book in front of you turned into a jumbled, blurry array of letters. You were unable to read it. Nervously, you ran your hand over your trembling leg, and the sensation produced an unexpected reaction.

“Meow,” you meowed unintentionally, putting your hand over your mouth and looking around embarrassedly. There was nobody there, much to your relief.

Normally you were quite capable of controlling those small impulses. You were proud that you weren't a howling, restless mess like your fellow werewolves. That day you felt strange. Simply with your hand touching your body all your senses went crazy. You were always quite sensitive, but never so sensitive as to lose control.

Some footsteps coming from the stairs took you out of your thoughts and the strange nervousness you had was accentuated even more.

Luckily for you, it wasn't one of your classmates from Nevermore, it was one of your teachers, your favorite teacher, Marilyn Thornhill.

The redhead came down the stairs with her usual smile and immediately noticed your presence. You stared back at her, feeling your heart beating faster and the disconcerting heat inside you growing.

The woman tilted her head as she walked over to a secluded bookcase, motioning for you to follow her. You didn't even have time to think about your next move. Dragging the chair with a nasty creaking, you got up and went with her.

You turned the corner and there she was, pretending to look at some old books. You approached cautiously, looking around you. As if on automatic impulse, you wrapped your arms around her waist and rested your head on her back.

The heat you had increased, but at that moment all you thought about was her. Marilyn laughed softly and turned around, taking your hand.

“Hello, honey…” She whispered in your ear. After glancing to either side of her briefly, she leaned her head towards you and placed her lips on yours. A desperate moan came out of your mouth. It wasn't a meow, it was a sound you couldn't remember ever making.

When you arrived at Nevermore, the last thing on your mind was having an affair with one of your teachers. For you, those kinds of relationships were fiction, things that only happened on a tv screen. After whole afternoons in the conservatory and funny talks, that nice teacher-student relationship crossed the line it wasn't supposed to cross.

It was a forbidden, clandestine relationship, based on kisses, hugs and whispered words of love. You were madly in love with Marilyn and she knew it and enjoyed seeing your eyes begging for a kiss, for a caress.

The kiss was not meant to be what it became. Agitated and terribly nervous, you deepened the kiss, causing the redhead to widen her eyes in surprise as your tongue entered her mouth moving mercilessly.

You didn't know why you were doing it. It was just like your instincts were guiding your actions. You were a shy girl and you never asked for more than Marilyn seemed to want to give you, but with each passionate kiss, with each brush of your body against hers, that strange state you were in seemed to subside.

“Honey, honey…” Marilyn said when her back collided with a self. You didn't listen to her, you kept kissing her, caressing her, while your purring became more and more evident. “Honey, what's wrong with you?”

Her hand went to your chest to stop you before you started another round of merciless kissing. Involuntarily, you snorted at the loss contact, causing her gaze to turn curious. With severe difficulty, you managed to relax and shook your head, embarrassed by your enthusiasm. You were not yourself, all the kisses you gave her gave you a strange pleasure and you almost lost control.

“I…I…I'm sorry,” you said, with your cheeks red and your breathing fast and disordered. Marilyn smiled, shaking her head slightly.

“(Y/N), you know we have to be careful…” She told you, caressing your cheek.

Every time her skin brushed against yours, millions of electrical impulses made your pupils dilate and you had to fight the urge to jump at her neck again.

“I know, it's just that…” You said, keeping your composure, putting distance between her and you to avoid the temptation.

“Are you okay? You're sweating,” she told you, looking at you now with some concern.

You shook your head and sighed. Your heart was pounding, your purrs were loud, and the heat you felt was becoming unbearable.

“No… I don't know what's wrong with me. I was calmly studying and suddenly I started to sweat...”

“Do you want to go to the infirmary, honey?” She asked affectionately, putting her hand to your forehead. Her breathing was also fast, you were able to realize that.

“Meow,” you meowed again, covering your mouth immediately after. The brush of her hand against your skin made you lose control. She pulled away and frowned at you, carefully studying your condition. “I'm sorry…”

Marilyn was looking at you curiously. Her eyes changed in an instant, turning slightly dark.

“I think I know what's wrong with you…” She whispered, getting a little closer to you. Her hands went to your waist and her lips kissed yours again.

There were too many sensations to be able to control. You pressed against her as you deepened the kiss, you wanted to feel all of her body, all of her warmth. Little by little the chills increased and an overwhelming heat began to form between your legs. Marilyn pushed you away again, but this time with a petulant gesture.

“What's happening to me? It's a feeling I've never felt before...” You said, ashamed of your erratic and passionate behavior. The redhead smiled mischievously.

“It's pretty obvious,” she said, crossing her arms.

“Obvious?” You asked, starting to get very nervous. Marilyn agreed.

“Of course, just look at you...” She said, amused, pointing at you.

You looked at yourself. You were a sweaty mess purring desperately. You didn't quite understand what she was referring to, and worst of all, you couldn't take your eyes off her dress, where a rather obvious bulge had formed.

“I still... I still don't understand anything...” You said nervously, closing your eyes.

“My love, you are in heat. I've had enough cats to know that.”

You opened your eyes and you were speechless.

Your parents had told you that it could happen, but the years went by and you never had that feeling, so you had completely forgotten about it.

Even as a human girl, your feline counterpart often took over your feelings without the need for you to transform. Apparently, heat was one of those feelings.

“Oh…” You said with flushed cheeks. “I don't know what to say…”

Marilyn approached again, curiously watching the reactions your body had with her caresses. It seemed that the way your hair stood on end and your body trembled desperately was amusing her.

“You don't have to say anything, honey, it's normal, you don't have to be ashamed,” she said to you with a loving voice, a tone of voice that even under normal circumstances made you tremble.

“I feel like I'm going to explode… What can I do to stop feeling like that?” You asked, instantly regretting it. You weren't an idiot, you knew the answer.

“Do I really have to answer?” She said, laughing, with a tender look.

You shook your head and, checking that the library was still empty, you rushed to her lips again, this time with more desperation. You didn't know if it was the right time, but you needed it, you needed something that you hadn't considered in the last few weeks, you needed her.

Marilyn kissed you back, trying to keep you as still as possible. You, with a too indiscreet meow, kissed her neck. The redhead was panting, but she barely moved, letting you do everything you wanted, almost everything. Your hand moved down between her legs, where her arousal throbbed, wanting to come out. Immediately her hand stopped yours, grabbing your wrist.

“What are you doing?” She asked with a sigh. Her breathing was also disordered, and she didn't seem to want to lose control. You barely heard her voice, your head imagined what it would be like to feel her inside you, how pleasant it would be for her to take you, to fill you up...

“I… Well… I…” You stammered. She laughed again, shaking her head.

“Honey, I'm very flattered but…” She said, looking at you determinedly. “I, I don't think it's the best time, nor the best place.”

You meowed again, going crazy to try to silence your own instincts.

“I thought…” You whispered, trying to calm yourself down with all your might.

“You have to be patient, honey,” she told you, pulling you into a warm hug. It would be a loving, romantic gesture, if you didn't feel her arousal digging into your body. Marilyn seemed to notice and she backed away in embarrassment. “Sorry, (Y/N), my body sometimes seems to think for itself. Come, I'll make you an infusion so you can relax, okay?”

You nodded, feeling enormous frustration. Your need didn’t change after that infusion. It would be a terrible week for you.

There was nothing that could ease that tension. Your encounters with Marilyn were still just as pure. Sometimes you thought she was amused by seeing you desperate, seeing how you begged for her to take you. At first you thought it was your imagination, but her kisses and her caresses, her most common gestures of affection were much more intense and she smiled, she always smiled.

You no longer felt ashamed, your need was so great that you asked her directly. Marilyn just laughed, shaking her head, saying that the time would come soon, that you would have to hold on a little longer. Your despair increased every day and your meows and purrs began to affect your academic life, interrupting classes and unleashing teasing from your classmates.

A week had passed and the cold showers and the walks and hunting moments in the woods were no longer useful for anything. You knew what you wanted and the only woman who could give it to you seemed to mock you. You loved Marilyn n and she loved you, you didn't understand why to make you wait amused her, why she enjoyed seeing how your body begged, a docile body, that would let her do what she wanted, you would be a rag doll for her.

“And put that one in that corner,” the redhead told you, while you placed some pots where she was indicating. You always obeyed, hoping that this sudden extreme submission would make her please, make her please you.

“It's already done...” You whispered, controlling your trembling. You couldn't help it, every time you looked at her you had those visions, those uncontrolled desires. It didn't matter how many times you masturbated, that wasn't enough, your body wanted her.

“Great,” Marilyn said, clasping her hands together, satisfied.

You agreed. Your body trembled and sweated, your pupils were dilated. You could barely speak normally, every three words, you would meow. You had to do something.

“Marilyn…” You said in a low voice, without looking at the redhead.

“Mm?” She murmured, cutting a few small leaves from a plant.

“I...I, I can't bear it anymore...” You said, slowly approaching her desk.

“What's wrong, honey? Have I made you work too much?” She asked, completely ignoring the true meaning of your words.

“That's not what I mean…” You whispered, suppressing another meow. “I'm having such a hard time...”

She looked at you and made a fake sad face.

“Oh, my love, come here,” she told you, extending her hand for you to take.

You obeyed her, feeling a rush of warmth as her hand gently gripped yours. Your heartbeat quickened again and your breathing was rapid, sonorous. The purring was not long in coming.

“Sit down,” She ask you, pointing to her lap. You carried out her order immediately. That was even worse, you'd rather she told you not to go back to the conservatory, to break up with you, than to be sitting on her lap, so close to her, your most desperate desire.

“My poor kitty…” She whispered into your ear, grabbing your hips to place you with your legs on either side of hers. “You’re having a hard time”

You nodded, letting yourself go. Little by little, your hips began to sway, rubbing against her body. She did nothing, she just laughed tenderly, seeing how you melted with that little contact. As if evil had taken over her, she emitted a subtle and very erotic moan in your ear, while the touch intensified. Her body was responding quickly and soon you felt her arousal rubbing against your needy center.

That sensation was completely new and dangerously exciting. You moved automatically, seeking as much contact as possible. Marilyn kissed you, caressed you, while she gently followed the rhythm of your hips.

You could feel it, you were so close that you lost control completely, moving desperately and not being able to suppress a considerable amount of meowing.

“Please... Meow... I... Meow... I need... Ple... Meow... Please,” you said almost crying. She looked at you surprised and ran her hand up your legs, under your uniform skirt. Your wetness was overwhelming and she seemed to find that so funny.

“Shhh… Calm down, (Y/N), does this relieve you?” She whispered to you, passing her hand through your folds, over your underwear.

You moaned strangely. No one had ever touched you there. It looked like what you wanted, but it wasn't enough, you knew it, and so did she. You didn't want her to stop. Among more desperate meows, you agreed, while her caresses became slower and slower.

“Very good, honey…” The redhead whispered. “You're a good kitty...”

Saying those words, she pulled her hand away and with a gentle push, she pushed you off of her. You groaned in frustration and tears began to run down your cheeks.

“What?” You asked, your purrs completely drowning out your words. “Why? I, I liked it…” You said desperate, trying to return to her lap. She got up, pointing to the clock on the wall.

“It's time for dinner, (Y/N), I don't want you to be late,” she said as if nothing happened, with that tone and that mocking smile that became too frequent that week.

“Meow…” You meowed, before clearing your throat to be able to speak clearly. “Why are you doing this to me?”

She looked at you surprised.

“Doing what, my love?” She asked with an innocent voice.

“You know it perfectly…Meow,” you stammered. “You do nothing but make fun of me. I just want you to love me, to want me... you know what I'm going through and you know what I need.”

“(Y/N), haven't I relieved you a bit?” She asked mockingly.

You snorted, incredulous and stopped to think. You needed it badly, you needed it desperately like you'd never felt before, and your body was going crazy.

“I'm sick of your games,” you said, hissing, suppressing the trembling of your body. “You know what I tell you? If you don't want me, I'll find someone who does,” you said without looking at her, going to the conservatory door.

Marilyn didn't say anything, but her expression told you that those words made something move inside her.

“What did you just say?” She asked in a dangerous tone, stopping you from leaving  with a strong grip on your wrist.

“You heard me. I'm tired of waiting... I'll look for someone who doesn't laugh at me and gives me what I need,” you said defiantly. Marilyn pulled you hard in front of her. Her look was not that of the tender and sweet botany teacher, her eyes were cold, threatening.

“How dare you talk to me like that, you filthy kitty?” She hissed, grabbing your hair and yanking it hard. “I don't care how desperate you are, you're still mine, you hear me?”

You widened your eyes. That possessive attitude surprised you for a moment, but soon you began to enjoy what you had achieved. It was the button you had to push to get on her nerves, to make her realize you needed her. You meowed with pleasure and your purring was once again present in the conservatory.

“I need you…” You said, faking more pleading than you really wanted to show. Marilyn released you and crossed her arms, shaking her head and softening her expression.

“You need me... Oh, poor silly kitten... You're so desperate...” She said caressing your cheek. “Do you need me so much how to make me angry?”

“Yes…” You sighed, letting yourself melt from her warm touch on your skin. “Please… I want…”

She laughed and returned her mocking and amused expression.

“What do you want, honey? Do you want mommy to take care of you?” She asked ironically.

At that moment, you put your defiant and rebellious attitude aside and nodded profusely without thinking. All your clothes were in the way and your eyes went to her crotch, which was marked in her blue jumpsuit, which seemed to call you by name.

“I want you to…” You said stammering. “I want to be yours, Marilyn… I, I need it. I need you inside of me… Please.”

The redhead laughed with satisfaction, passing one hand over your chest while she with the other she got rid of her underwear.

“How cute you are, (Y/N), you're such a desperate kitty…” She whispered while you only dedicated yourself to feeling her caresses. “Mommy likes to play with the kittens like you… She wants them to pray for her…”

You just nodded automatically, noticing how you had fewer and fewer clothes. You didn't feel capable of saying anything, only of purring, of panting, of feeling how the moment you wanted so much was getting closer little by little. The redhead stepped away a bit and undid the buttons on her blue jumpsuit, letting it fall to the floor and finally freeing her length which looked almost as desperate as you. You drool at the sight before you.

Marilyn ran her hand along the length of her cock, stroking it gently, making her quiver with eagerness. She was enjoying her own caresses, but she obviously had other things on her mind.

“Get on your knees,” she ordered, pointing to the ground. You were surprised, noticing how the despair you felt seemed to have no end. She wasn't going to make it easy for you and you knew that, but seeing her excitement, the desperation with which her cock throbbed in front of you, made your body move by itself, resting your knees on the cold stone floor.

“Mommy… Please….Meow,” you said, meowing again involuntarily. Marilyn laughed at the speed with which you picked up on her game, and she gently cupped your chin.

“I know you're anxious for mommy to give you kittens, to feel how she fills you up, but you've been bad, honey, and now you'll have to please me. Use your sweet mouth, you silly girl... Show me that you need me...”

You nodded and timidly obeyed, running your tongue along her entire length. She moaned as she felt your lips around her and gently swayed her hips. She was big, overwhelming for your mouth, but you still held on and were as skilled as you could be as a total inexperienced in the matter.

“That's it…what a nice kitty…” Marilyn murmured, moving even faster as you struggled to please her. “I love you…”

Those words took you out of the situation a bit. She had told you that she loved you many times, but this didn't seem like the right time to say it. She surely she was having so much pleasure thanks to you that she even seemed to lose her sanity. You stuck out your tongue and moved it quickly, making her moans even louder. You noticed that her body tensed, that her cock trembled in your mouth.

She was close, you could feel it. Your human part considered it normal, something that had to happen and it didn't matter. Your feline part was horrified, terrified to see how something so precious for your needs was going to be wasted. You didn't just need the pure pleasure that sex gave, your instincts and your nature had another purpose.

“I'm close, honey… I, I'm going to cum in your pretty little mouth…” She said between gasps, moving in a disorderly way, almost as if she was fucking your mouth. You opened your eyes and pulled away immediately. You didn't need that, you needed something else, and you had waited long enough. “What the hell are you doing now?”

“Please... Meow...” You said getting up and sitting down at the desk.  “Please, take me.”

Marilyn sighed, clearly frustrated, but she didn't comment, she simply lifted your skirt, exposing your wet center and stroking it roughly with her serious gaze. She would surely be upset that you pulled away from her, but seeing how your arousal shimmered between your legs made her change her mind.

“Oh… My silly and needy kitty, you are so wet for mommy…” She whispered with a childish tone. “She can't wait any longer… she needs mommy to fill her up…”

You nodded as she inserted two fingers into your wet and slippery center. The sensation made you moan very loudly. Marilyn covered your mouth with her hand while her fingers explored your interior.

“Shut up, kitty, you wouldn't want to be found out, would you? Imagine that someone hears your kitten meows in heat and they find you like this, a mess desperate for mommy to give her what she needs... Poor silly kitten...”

You didn't answer, you just moaned and meowed, this time controlling the volume. You weren't even able to think about the consequences of being caught that way, you only thought about the feeling you had in your mouth, about how pleasant it would be to have all of her cock inside you, filling you up.

Soon her fingers came out of you and with her hands, she parted your legs. It would be an image worth seeing. You, some random Nevermore student, spread-eagled on your botany teacher's desk, desperate for her to fuck you.

“Are you ready, my kitty? Are you ready for mommy to give you what you want so badly?” She asked, aligning the tip with your slippery and soaked entrance. You wanted to answer like a normal person would, but your heart was beating so fast and your purrs and meows were so overwhelming that you could only nod. “I've asked you a question, (Y/N)…” She hissed in a darker tone.

“Yes…Yes… Please…” You managed to say.

Marilyn laughed and sighed as she slowly eased into you. She was not soft, nor delicate, but she was slow, painfully slow. You noticed how your body was slowly getting used to the intruder. You remembered what your friends said, that the first time was painful, that it was not pleasant. They were just dirty liars. You never felt something so pleasant, such a warm and pleasant feeling. Your walls stretched little by little, sending a lot of sensations to your whole body.

You smiled, you didn't quite know why, perhaps to finally see your wish fulfilled, to grant your most primal instincts what they so longed for.

“Oh, (Y/N), you're incredible, so wet, so tight... You hug me so well... You're a very good kitty for mommy...” Marilyn told you, while she moved slowly, introducing herself completely. “It hurts? I know I'm big, I don't want my little kitty to get hurt.”

You shook your head, slapping your hand against the table, wishing those slow movements would speed up, that you could feel completely hers.

“It's okay, it's okay, calm down…” She told you, amused, grabbing your ankles and raising them over her shoulders. “You are so impatient… You drive me crazy, (Y/N)…”

You smiled, enjoying that little by little, her rhythm was accelerating, while your body was allowing deeper and faster movements. You could feel her inside you, all of her, you were right where you wanted. You weren't capable of thinking clearly, of seeing the risks that something like this could cause and surely would cause. You were only concerned about satisfying your hunger, feeling each of her small movements.

“My sweet, silly girl…” Marilyn whispered, picking up the pace a bit when your body finally allowed it. “Your body was waiting for me, it adapts so well… Oh, my kitten, we are made for each other… You will have such beautiful kittens…”

You laughed at that statement, reaching out your arm to try to touch your lover. Everything she said sounded heavenly, almost divine. It was what your body wanted to hear, what your instincts wanted. You did not remember such a happy and embarrassing moment. If you happened to see yourself reflected in one of the crystals, you would look away. You were a mewling, drooling mess, completely at the redhead's mercy.

“Marilyn…” You sighed as she took a hand from your legs to take yours. “Please…”

She nodded, it seemed like she could read your mind. After letting your hand go, she jerked you toward her and her movements intensified, now fast, passionate. You moaned, not like a cat, but like the desperate girl you were at that moment.

“That's it, honey…” The redhead whispered, without stopping moving. “Be a good girl, a cute kitty for mommy… You take it so well… I would spend my life inside you, my love.”

You meowed at those words. Your body finally realized her strong thrusts and little by little that unpleasant and at the same time pleasant heat began to overwhelm you again. You were close to your first real orgasm, and you were excited, but desperate at the same time. You wanted to feel it all, you didn't want your own emotions to hide the sensations that Marilyn provoked inside of you. Your hips disobeyed your wishes and began to move restlessly, following the redhead’s rhythm.

“Oh my God,” you were able to say, before your entire body arched and your inner muscles hugged her cock tightly, as if they didn't want her to leave your body. Marilyn stopped for a moment, enjoying your crazy vision, your orgasmic sounds and the tremor of your body.

“Good kitty…” The redhead murmured, holding you so you would stay still. “You've done very well, even though you're a silly and desperate girl, mommy loves you, honey, mommy wants to see those beautiful eyes when you cum...” She said, smiling tenderly, something that didn't match her words at all.

“Please…. I…” You said panting, trying to catch your breath.

“Do you want mommy to fill you up honey? Do you want mommy to give you some precious kittens?” She asked while little by little, she moved again. You nodded, almost with tears in your eyes. Each of her movements were like electric currents running through your body.

“Yeah! Yes please!” You yelled. This time she did nothing to silence you, she simply smiled and closed her eyes, increasing her speed, moving abruptly. Surely you were not aware of what was about to happen, but it was what you wanted, nothing could change your mind, it was the bad thing about having an animal inside you.

“Very good, honey... Mommy is going to cum... She's going to fill you up, my love... I'm going to...” She gasped, grabbing your hips tightly as, with a heart-rending moan, she leaned into you, squeezing her eyes shut.

A sudden warmth appeared in your center. A hot liquid ran through you while you felt how her cock throbbed. At last the moment had arrived. You had no idea that it could be so pleasurable, so much so that you had another small orgasm while her cum filled you completely.

“Damn, (Y/N), you're perfect…” The redhead whispered, still inside of you. “I'm sorry I made fun of you… I didn't know what I was missing.”

You just stared at the ceiling, noticing how a trickle of liquid ran down your leg when she finally pulled away from you. The purring disappeared, the messy meows no longer fighting to get out of your mouth. You felt great relief, your whole body relaxed. You felt weakness, you had no strength. The tension you'd had that last week was finally released, and just the way you wanted it to.

“Sweetie…Honey…” Sweet whispers brought you out of your state of ecstasy. You sat up at the desk and blinked several times, in case your subconscious had played a trick on you and all this was a simple dream.

“Hey? What?” You said, pleased that no cat sounds came out of your mouth.

“My love, it's been wonderful, but we have to put all of this in order…” Marilyn told you, getting dressed again. You nodded, jumping off the desk, still feeling how her cum was inside you. You got dressed, you put on your uniform while you thought when would be the next time that would happen. “You stay there for a moment.”

“I love you,” you said happily, like in a hallucination. Marilyn smiled and sighed, wiping the sweat from her forehead.

“Me too my love. You're mommy's good kitty, don't forget it…” She told you in her ear, giving you a soft kiss on her lips. “We don't get to have dinner anymore, but what do you think if we both take a bath together in my room? I really want to love you again...”

[krenenbaker]

Stop the World - 3: Please

Pairing: Malleus/Cater

Warnings/Features: Angst with a happy ending, (somewhat?) possessive Malleus Draconia, questionably suggestive at the end... but that's COMPLETELY up to the reader's interpretation :)

Summary: Cater and Malleus have found a comfortable rhythm to their lives in their last year at Night Raven College. But as the threat of change creeps closer, their fears about the future do too.

The Couple: Looking ahead, into the future

Notes: Finally, after over a month (oops!), this short fic has concluded! This was a good learning experience for me, and I had quite a bit of fun writing it. It ended up taking a slightly different direction than I had originally anticipated, but I like how it turned out here. :) I know that many of my lovely moots are more 'canon x reader' fic readers/writers, so I really appreciate your support on this 'canon x canon' piece!

Tags: @dove-da-birb, @inkybloom-luv, @silvers-numberonefan, @azulashengrottospiano (if you'd like to be tagged, or not tagged, in the writing I post, please let me know!)

Part 1 | Part 2 | AO3 Version (ft. all chapters)

After the sun dipped past the horizon, Cater glanced up towards his boyfriend. "What's running through your mind there? You look, like, super serious right now."

"Hm?" Malleus turned his gaze from the sky. "Nothing serious, I assure you.  You seem cold, we should head inside."

"Ehh, no, I'm a-okay rn!" Cater shook his head.  "But Mal, I've got to know. What were you thinking about?"

"I was contemplating our future."

"Ah."

Cater tore his line of sight away from Malleus' intense gaze, and the air seemed to grow still around them, even though the leaves in the trees were rustling audibly.

Cater then heard a quiet chuckle, before Malleus murmured into his ear, "You now appear deep in thought, Treasure.  Is there something troubling you?"

"Oh, I'm just... thinking."

"Well well, I'm not sure I knew you could do that."

Cater turned to face a small smirk. "Hey!" Cater laughed, with a gentle smack to Malleus' arm. "That was totes rude, Mal! I'm wounded!"

Cater's smile faltered, then dropped as he looked off into the distance again. "Malleus, what's going to... no, never mind."

Malleus gave his darling's hand a small squeeze. "Please, tell me."

Giving a gentle squeeze in return, Cater took a shaky breath. In as measured a voice as he could manage, he asked, "What's going to happen to us? Like, at the end of this year?"

Summoning up the courage to turn back to Malleus, Cater looked back into his eyes. "Listen, I don't want to get all sad or whatever here, but, I've been thinking... what if this was a mistake?"

Malleus's expression fell, a flash of darkness crossing his face. "Excuse me?" Does he think we shouldn't be together any more? Or at ALL?

"No, no, no. I mean... ugh, I'm terrible at this." Cater took a deep breath and ran his free hand down his face. "We've got our internships next year, right? And I thought, we probably won't go to the same place.  And I mean," he began to speak faster, "I'm used to moving by now, you know? Just going to a new place and leaving people behind and stuff.  It's become normal. But I just..." Cater paused, forcing himself to slow down, "I just feel like this time it's different... 'cause I'm with you. 'Cause I love you."

"What do you mean, Cater?"

He used my first name? "I mean," Cater swallowed thickly, "I don't want to leave.  I don't wanna leave you. "

Malleus placed his hand on Cater's cheek. "Do you think you must?"

"I...", Cater froze, then slightly leaned into the touch.  "I don't know. I don't want to. I just thought I'd need to, I guess, since we'd both be away from NRC next year."

"You're correct about that, I suppose," Malleus said softly. "But, what if... we could intern in the same place?" 

Cater's eyebrows rose in surprise, "Wait, pause there.  What?"

"I will go where you go. Or you can come with me. If it's alright with you, I want to find a way to remain together, because," Malleus drew his arms around his Treasure, Cater, before whispering, "I love you with my whole being, and I won't lose you. Not now."

Cater's breath caught in his throat. He'd come with me? He wants to stay with me? Nobody, in the dozen or more places he'd moved had ever wanted to stay with him; to follow him. This was new. This was... nice.

"Okay," Cater murmured into the dark fabric on Malleus' shoulder, before drawing back to look into his eyes. "I won't lose you either, Mal. We'll figure something out... together."

A soft breeze picked up a couple of fallen leaves in front of the couple, swirling them in a sort of gentle dance.

"Um, but first, Mal," Cater said, getting to his feet, "Let's go inside. I... actually am kinda cold." Cater held out his hand for his love (even though he knew he didn't need to).

Malleus smiled, taking his human's outstretched hand and standing up. "I thought you may be."

"Oh shush. You and your... what, intuition? Powers? I don't even know, babe. Anyways, do you want to come in for some tea? I think we have time before Riddle would call us out for it being too late," Cater said with a smile.

Malleus dipped his head. "As always, my dearest Cater."

Even if the school year was coming to an end, the love and support that Malleus and Cater found in each other would continue, however they chose to do so. For now, they would simply enjoy their time, their tea, and whatever else the evening had in store.

[oh-my-may]

Hey there

Hi, this is my reintroduction to tumblr (kinda).

I go by May on the internet, it's some weird nickname I made of my real name and goes back to my first gamer tag on minecraft...

I'm currently 22 years of age, which sometimes makes me feel incredibly old on the internet? At the same time I seem to come across many other people my age who go through very similar struggles as me lol

I curretnly work fulltime as a waitress. I'm European so I get paid a proper wage there, and the work with my coworkers is very fun and comforting. I'm not always the biggest fan of other people, but being a people pleaser and having the ability to hide my true personality behind a "nice" facade makes my job possible and bearable. (jk aside, I really like my job)

Hobbies include:

reading (I always say that, but I barely ever pick up a book. Just spent most of my early teen years absolutely ramming through a shit ton of books. I still really enjoy reading, but I barely find the time to do it. My tbr list is endless)

gaming (I'll dip my toes into anything that's not an ego-shooter, my PS5 is one of my most treasured possessions)

watching movies (last year I dragges either my sister or one of my friends to the theaters at least once a month. Doesn't mean I'm a movie critic or anything, but I really like watching movies and I might just share some takes on it on here)

anime (just a select few, the most famous ones. Life's busy when you have a fulltime job and still have other hobbies, but I'm currently on my first watchthrough of One Piece! Will definitely post about this from time to time)

listening to music (realizing I have very basic hobbies bc my parents never urged me to pursue anything specific when I was a child, but anyway: I will listen to almost a bit of anything, but Taylor Swift and Ghost were amongst my most streamed artists on Spotify last year. Do with that info what you will)

writing. I did start with writing fanfiction, first harry potter, then boybands, then kpop, then anime. Most important to me was always my original idea though. I know many people have things like this. A few years ago I thought I'd actually go with trying to publish something. Now I have revised and rethought the whole thing. I barely write, but it's still in the back of my head all the damn time. I always think about writing, but doing the actual thing rn seems impossible.

As I'm writing this I realize how pathetic I feel doing this, beacuse I have this awful feeling no one is gonna respond and I'll end up regretting this so much that I'll delete it. Thank God the internet gives me the opportunity to be anonymous.

Anyway, the previously mentioned hobbies lead to my (current) interests that I'll most likely post about, so if you're into one or more of these things as well, let's chat!

in terms of games: Currently playing through Final Fantasy 7 Rebirth and generally FF7 is probably a huge hyperfixation of mine and has been for years. I've just arrived in Gongaga on my playthrough and I'm loving all of it. The game caters to all the expectations and interests I have in games. It's just so insanely beautiful and makes me tear up every couple hours idk

on this note I'd like to mention that I dipped my toes into FF14 but since I only play on Playstaion now, all the commands are overwhelming to me. I'm definitely planning on playing FF15 and FF16

Kinda cringe but I swear I'm normal: Genshin Impact. Have been playing since early 2021, once had a pretty unhealthy relationship to this game, but I was mentally not doing well during that time. Having a fulltime job changed my perspective on the game. Now I'm a casual enjoyer bc I love the open world and characters, and I love to get into the lore, so I might post a few theories and stuff on here

On that note: Honkai Star Rail. Same company, but it took me way longer to get into the game. Really enjoying it now though, although I am struggling with a bunch of battles. Save to say, I am NOT playing the game for the meta lol

One Piece! As mentioned, I started my watch of it last year in summer just before the Netflix live action came out (work bestie talked me into it). I'm quite literally at episode 500 rn. Had to stop for a while at around Thriller Bark bc the first few episodes didn't quite do it for me. Now I try to watch a few episodes before sleep everyday :)

Other anime that I am different levels of unhinged about: Jujutsu Kaisen, Attack on Titan, Bungou Stray Dogs, Demon Slayer. The basics, I know. Just don't have the time to watch a lot while other life stuff happens, you know. OP is the main thing rn, and until I am kinda up-to-date with that, everything else will have to wait lol

In terms of book stuff I must admit I keep going back to communities and fandoms I was a part of when I was a teen lol. This largely refers to stuff like Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugho, The Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater and All for the Game by Nora Sakavic

Right now though I am more interested in reading some classics and other stuff. Read Britney Spears' biography last year (within the span of one day, I wanna add), currently I'm reading a chapter of Crime and Punishment once in a blue moon. I'd like to read more stuff like that in the future, but everything at it's time ig

Other fictional universes I was once quite unhinged about: Game of Thrones and Lord of the Rings. Both communities are kinda dead atm though. I'm still in the process of reading the books (which means I last picked them up over a year ago. But believe me, I'll get there, eventually.... someday)

In terms of music as I said I listen to almost anything. Not a lot of rap and techno, though. I like stuff with lyrics I can sing along to and feel deep within my bones. I wouldn't call myself a "fan" of any particular artist, I was very unhinged about musicians as a teen and I have learned my lesson. Now I just listen to the music without caring too much about the artist themselves. I used to really like 5 Seconds of Summer as a teen, then I moved to Kpop. Now I barely keep up with either but just listen to the stuff I did back then

I think that's basically it for now? The most important parts about myself. Stuff I like to talk about, so if you like some of this too, maybe come talk to me? I wanna get to know people here after all, and I have learned this is probably the best way to start.

I don't have many conditions for friends tbh. I'm 22, so anything between like 19 and 26 or so is fine as long as the vibes are good :) I don't care about genders and all that, personally going by she/her. I'm a Taurus, in case someone wants to know. Last time i took the test I was an infp-t (still think it's pretty accurate but it's been a few years nd I heard that test isn't as accurate? idk)

Other things you should maybe know is that English is not my native language, so excuse any mistakes you might come across lol. I dropped out of university. My profile picture kinda captures my most basic features.

Anyway, feel free to hit me up, I love talking to people on the internet and I really look forward to this reinvention of my account here and actually talking about my interests and reposting stuff I like :)

If you have any questions, just ask!

Until then,

May

[shmowder]

Two dollars?? Whoa. I'll keep an eye out for a sale. Based on screenshots, it seems like P1 has more dialogue and more opportunities to get to know the characters better? I love the P2 art style so much though so it might be hard to get used to the original. I know some people have the opposite problem and are unhappy with some of the redesigns.

We like the same aspects of yandere <3 Oh I need to rant for a second. There's nothing wrong with legitimately enjoying the violence and kidnapping aspects, but I do feel like there's sometimes too much emphasis on making sure readers don't think you're (general "you") romanticizing yanderes. Like intellectually I know it's unhealthy you don't have to tell me every other sentence that this is wrong and bad and that the reader insert isn't supposed to like it! 🤧 ... Ngl I love willing!reader 🫣🫣 Anyway. Rant over :)

I'll never get over actually being asked for my thoughts?? Thank you, even though I often feel out of my depth lmao. Please tell me about yandere Aspity!

In addition to what you said, I think Maria would be prone to jealousy too but unlike Katerina, would feel more of a sense of entitlement and is more prone to lashing out at others and at you occasionally. Katerina is more likely to internalize perceived rejection and be self-destructive about it. They'd both want to dress you up and do your makeup (even if you don't normally wear any) like a doll >:)

Lara and Peter might be the clingy/obsessive type, would latch on to the idea of you as a lifeline to pull them out of their despair. Lara would try to prove herself to you through acts of service; you'd be the inspiration for Peter's art and he'd give you little gifts all the time.

Victor would be overprotective, treating you like glass and like you've said before, wanting you to feel you can come to him, only, with your troubles. Would also randomly ignore you occasionally lol :( He can't help it he's too lost in thought! Big Vlad would spoil the ever loving fuck out of you *and* intimidate everyone else away.

Btw. I read your Andrey x reader hcs last night and they were really good! I don't really feel anything for this guy but it seems like you've got his personality just right :) I've never wanted piercings in my life, why is that part speaking to me 😭 (ok, that's a lie, I did want snakebites when I was seventeen :o)) I liked the little bit about sketching diagrams afterwards, too. Your smut is so good forreal

🐿️ anon

Delicious juicy food delivered straight to my inbox for FREE? I am in heaven and ascending even higher rn.

I want to let you know that this concept lived in my head rent-free for the past week. Each time I came to answer this ask, I'd get distracted by the brief yandere drabbles you wrote and get lost in the fantasy. Especially the overprotective Victor one, it's my favourite. Oh god, you're a genius. Tell me more I beg!

And yes P1 had a lot more dialogue which is nice because it explains the story a lot more. Especially characters like Aglaya who get a lot of backstory and other things revealed about them. It's a game that does the best it could with the very very limited technology it had at the time, and despite the graphics it's beautiful in some areas.

The music is its crowning gem however! P1 soundtrack literally blows P2 soundtrack out of the water. It's like the devs know the graphic and everything is lacking in P1 so they more than made up for it with fire music that gets you in a trance of how amazing it sounds.

I think the major flaws are how the charactersation and story is slightly different. Some characters like Victor and Aglaya remain the same but other characters like Alexander Saburov are massively different. Also as a majority everyone is more of an asshole in P1, especially Artemy and Daniil at times.

Eva and Andrey are more slutty... do with that what you will.

Yulia in P1 feels like a younger Yulia who's still lost and figuring out life. Like a freshly out of college Yulia. While in P2 she's more of a jaded full grown up who knows how the world works but is displeased by it. I love both versions <3 She is one of the very polite characters in P1... which are surprisingly sparce. P1 is also more funny and silly with the dialogue, it's more whimsical with more realistic options too. Also you get a lot of opportunities to break the 4th wall while in P2 you can only do it while talking with the rat prophet, the replacement Artemy and endgame Mark.

And I agree with you about the yandere thoughts. The horror ones are fun but sometimes I want romanticised obsession and devotion yk? Like a yandere ready to move the earth and bring down the moon for their beloved. Where the conflict is more focused on the emotions and intenal turmoil rather than the murder or horror aspect. Even when it comes to the reader, I enjoy a little toxic reader too 👀 Like someone who encourages their yandere behaviour or doesn't mind it, someone who is okay with the obsession or someone who actively goes out of their way to make it worse. A reader who's a full fledged character rather than a damsel in distress, someone who takes actions and can effect the world around them.

But don't get me wrong! I do like a damsel in distress... as a kink. It's kinda hot to be a useless fawned upon princess that everyone is looking to save and please.

Yeah, I feel you so much on the "Don't have to tell me this is wrong every sentence." Like, oh my god, dude! I hate when stories treat the reader like they're an idiot. You have to have faith in them, especially when your content is marked for adults that they will be able to read between the lines. Like you don't see murder or serial killer stories saying how this is wrong every sentence?? Yandere is just a mix of horror, romance, and smut! It's just an archetype with interesting concepts and maybe even a fetish.

Why do people have to psychoanalyse every kink someone has??

I'll get back to the other characters in a bit, let's focus on the overprotective Victor for example! bc the brainrot is real i legit haven't stopped thinking about him for one second.

In one of his dialogue trees he has this line:

5.Victor Kain: ...If I'd learned about this earlier, I would have torn his head off already. Now give me thirty-five seconds of silence, please. I need to think.

It's when you inform him about the chemist who's helping people hide their dead. The same one who buys body parts from Artemy, he apparently also works for tha kains but manages to hide his shady businesses right under their nose.

And his reaction is just odjwofjwofkwk So Delicious? Like that chemist posed a real threat to tramble down on the fragile castle the Kain built with their reputation, start a domino effect which exposes them as law breakers for the townfolks which they absolutely cannot have.

You see him angry, even if it's just a small glimpse. He could've worded it more elegantly, used so many different expressions. But no, Victor chose the phrase "tear his head off"

THE FERALITY! THE POTENTIAL MY GOD. This man is so good at making himself a safe and trustworthy pragmatic person so much you forget there's a wide awake tiger with deadly focus behind those melancholic eyes, weighting your every word and soaking in all the information you unawarly expose to him. Memorising all the names you mention, drawing a map in his brain of your social circle and connections. Saying so little himself just to get you to keep talking and telling him more and more until a secret or two spill out without you realising it.

The way he's briefly quiet before snapping, composing himself, and holding back the flood of rage in his brain from bubbling to the surface. "I would've torn his head off" only scratches the surface of what he really wanted to do and say.

Even this simple sentence from someone usually so polite and level-headed paints a gruesome picture of a predetor's sharp teeth tearing apart a person's brain, completely dislocating the head from the shoulders and tearing the skin off with one bite. The crunching of the skull as it caves under the pressure of the tiger's jaw.

AND THEN YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE AND TELL ME HE IS AN OVERPROTECTIVE YANDERE!! I love you so much.

All that anger directed towards anyone who wishes you harm. It's like you struck a match inside him and now he simply cannot help but watch out for your well being from behind the curtains.

His obsession stems from thinking of you as... lesser to put it kindly. Of course you will never be aware of this condescension nor how he views you as a fragile thing unfit for the real world, a glass figurine that needs to be handled with delicate gloves so you won't crack.

Non the wiser, you think he's just a really good listener. So when he invites you over for tea, you oblige and just spill your heart out to him. Telling him how your week went, talking about the boring details and your hobbies, mentioning the mundane things like your trip to the grocery store.

And he never interrupts, at first you thought it was a little creepy how he'd have you over just to listen to you talk. Only answering with questions and dismissing any questions directed towards him ir his well being, saying he'd rather know about you more.

But with time you warmed him to him, I mean it is Victor Kain? He has never done harm to anyone has he? Sure the Kains have some screws loose but Victor always seemed the calmest one amidst his eccentric family.

You think that maybe he is just lonely and needs company or a friend! He's definitely awkward when it comes to normal conversation, so you're understandable when all he wants to talk about is you.

As far as you're concerned, that's as deep as youre surface relationship goes. It starts with afternoon tea and ands just after the sun sets down when he walks you home, ever the old school gentleman. Strange tho, he never walks anyone else home and lets Maria run loose at any hour of the night. But you've never given it much thought.

You poor sweet thing, so unaware of the monster you're feeding. The obsession you're helping nurture whenever you oblige to his request or head his advice. The rush of satisfaction that runs through his veins when you come running to him to vent after a particularly hard day, the addicting euphoria flooding his system when you thank him for listening, saying how he's the only person you trust with these embarrassing things.

Victor who's pulling strings when you're not looking. Taking over your life and holding power over every aspect of it so he can fine tune it, surgically decide every small detail like he's tinkering with the delicate inner-machinery of a clock.

Making sure he is your sole support system. Coincidentally, the friends you make are offered jobs back at the Capital and have to move away. The grocery near your house relocates, and the closest one is right next to the Kain's resident.

Whichever job you held is deemed too dangerous for someone as helpless as you and he takes it upon himself to talk to someone who talks to someone else who persuades the owner into getting you fired or at least you're out of business if it's privately owned. No one wants your services, they all deeply admire the Kains and would run to please him at the drop of a hat.

No one but Victor who so kindly extends a helping hand. If you refuse chairty money then he immediately suggest working for him instead, he needs a helper you see. No matter what excuse or response you have prepared, he has already accounted for all of them and has a convincing counter-argument.

You don't have to know that in reality, he just thinks the world is too dangerous for you to freely roam and get a job. If you want to play pretend as boss and employee then he will indulge your childish antics and offer you a job, either way the end is the same with you slowly migrating more and more under his wing and care.

Stripped of your income, support system and any opportunity for growth. Once Victor has you in his claws, he will make sure you never slip through his fingers.

Tbf he is content with you just being around, as long as you're safe and sound under his watch he will even if you just see him as a friend and nothing more.

Because while helping you is enthralling, not knowing where you are is the worst withdrawal he has ever experienced. And that man lived at the Capital before, do not let his grown up facade tirck you, he's probably even tried coke and all drugs under the sun at some point in his youth out of sheer boredom or curiosity.

It ircks him thinking you're vulnerable and bare outside for anyone to grab, it makes his brain ache to see you in a situation outside of his own control. He needs you to live in a world of his own making for all of eternity or he feels like ripping his hair out.

Zero expectations are set upon you to do anything. He isn't looking for a slave or a housewife, he just wants to be reassured no harm will ever befall you and keeping you under his watchfull gaze is the best solution he could come up with.

So what if you're basically a glorified pet? You still have your freedom... although limited. You can pursue your hobbies, indulge in his money and even befriend his two kids if you feel like it.

If you get really desperate for company other than his own and the Kains, then maybe he will think about letting you socialise with the other utopians every now and them. The mostly do not pose any dangers but some of them (caught Andrey, Eva and Vlad the Younger) Do really test his patience and boil his blood with jealousy from the shameless sexua advances and romantic propositions they throw your way as if he wasn't in the room.

Still, the utopians are your toys to play with until you're content. Didn't you ask for friends?

But he'd be lying if he said he wasn't thinking of more... forgive his brain, humans are inherently flawed and he cannot help but think of you in rather scandalous ways at times. Animalistic desires of lust and love rearing its head. Whenever you lean too close to him, pat your beautiful eyelashes or call his name out with a faux whine.

He's more than open to a seemingly "normal" relationship with you. As long as you get used to his busy schedule and periods of ignoring the world around him while in deep thought. He lives in his own brain most of the time and you rarely if ever guess what's going on in his life at any give day.

He remains an enigma while settling for nothing less than your whole heart laid bare before him on a silver tray. Proding at the fragile organ, never causing it any harm as he caresses it with gentle fingers. Feigning ignorance of the way his mouth waters, salvia dripping down the sharp fangs.

But again, he's down to compromise. You can only go places if he's by your side, even his own brother, the judge, he doesn't trust to accompany you alone.

-

God that was a fucking treat to write and think about. Talking with you is always so fun, I can just let go and say everything on my mind. When writing fanfics or sharing my thoughts to others I always trim the edges and make sure I'm not repeating myself yk? I have to put in effort to make my thoughts presentable and tied nicely with a bow, compress it down to bite sizes.

But man i am living the dream! A wall of text! my purpose in life! I wrote so much in such a short time that my fingers actually hurt.

Anyway I have more so let's keep going!

-

YANDERE BIG VLAD MY BELOVED.

He'd also fall on the overprotective category but not possessive controlling like Victor Kain. No, He'd want you to genuinely be happy.

Spoils you rotten, without decorum or an excuse. Literally buys you anything and everything, even the things you don't ask for he will get you just because he thought you might like them.

The softest thing with you despite how harsh and uncaring he is with others.

Don't get him wrong. He is still a ruthless businessman with shady and amoral practices, he simply does not care. The only things worth it in this life are the people you love, and he loves his family the most.

Including you! Surprise! He starts considering you part of his family. His love is definitely not just platonic however but he does hold the most shame when it comes to getting together with someone after his dead wife yk?

Especially if you're younger, oh my god he lacks morals yes but this is just humiliating. He gets over it easily.

If you want someone who is extremely self-aware and the guilt of lusting after a young adult really eats him up to the core, then look at none other than Alexander Saburov. Not only is his wife still alive so triple the shame and guilt, but also you're a 20/30 something cutie and he well past middle age. He is getting his ass beaten by his conscience inside his own mind and having a moral crisis.

Anyway, back to Big Vlad. I think he'd try to make you get with his son as a way to coerce you into joining the family, especially if you say he is too old for you.

Try saying Victor Kain is too old for you and that old man 404 errors on the spot then quickly recovers pulls up the shady "well the passage of time is subjective and age does not define a human's mind as long as they are a sound adult" argument. I don't think he himself remembers the fact he is almost 60. Age and time is just a suggestion to the Kains.

However Big Vlad would never pull the "becoming your boss" move ever. He wants you to see him as someone close and in an intimate light, that move will just ruin everything he has built. If he wants to throw money your way then he will shamelessly do it without tact and no one can stop him.

You do get your own worms bodyguards and nice herb brides who watch over you courtesy to him however.

Alexander might be the biggest simp in yanderes but he will hesitate before doing something which conflicts with his convictions.

Big Vlad however, will not.

Your suggestions are heard and the changes you demand in his treatment of the kin are immediately obeyed. He tries his best to please you and make you happy, you literally have this man wrapped around your pinky.

A single kiss would have his brain haywire, all it takes is a pat of your pretty eyelashes and a cute pout and all the complaints fizzle from his brain. You immediately win the argument by default.

While sex is good and all, I feel like he is more of a romantic at heart. Genuinely a big doofus in love and would melt over something as simple as hand holding or having you sleep against his chest. He lives for the early morning breakfast where your eyebrows are scrunched from being so sleepy, as you walk over and sink into his arms.

If Victor Kain treats you like a glorified pet and Alexander Saburov like the temptation & sin incarnate then Big Vlad treats you like royalty, a literal prince/princess fallen into his lap and he's the king who will ensure you have the most pampered and spoiled life ever.

You're not helpless in Big Vlad's eyes, he doesn't infantilise you like Victor Kain does. If anything you're the most capable and talented person in the entire world, which is why you deserve everything good and sweet in it.

-

I have so many more ideas and concepts! I love your idea of Maria and Katerina treating the reader like a doll and dressing you up then making out with you- Like you're just a beautiful thing to them to cuddle with as they fall asleep and string along on dates.

Yandere Maria wouldn't care what you have to say, she never begs or asks, she just takes. The day she decides you are here doll, everyone acknowledges that you are off limits because who in their right mind would oppose Maria??

And while Katerina doesn't hold much power, her husband is the leading authority over the town criminal and justice system. He is also the biggest simp to her and is 100% okay with being a cuck if it means his wife is happy.

If having you as her precious doll to dress up, smooch, and play with will put a stop to her morphine addiction, then he'd step over his own morals and look the other way.

YANDERE ASPITY MY LOVE. She has potential! I adore non-humans obsessing over a human. You're not like other humans, you're full of surprises and she wants to test and study you more. You make her see worth in her life and the world beyond the earth and why she was born.

I also like the implication that since she is literally a piece cut from boddho's heart and moulded into a person like clay, that if she falls in love with you then the earth itself would too. With Yandere Aspity you get a Yandere Boddoh and the entirety of the kin for free!

Maybe even possessive Aspity who doesn't want to share you with the earth, who refuses to hand you over and wants you to be hers. A piece of the earth defying its original self, establishing herself as her own person by choosing to love you and never share you.

But my food already went cold, and my fingers are growing numb, so I will cut it short for now.

Ha. Short. I say while having written the entire front page article of a gossipy small town's newspaper.

Do tell me about your thoughts! I love hearing them and reading what you write! Be it your thoughts about other yanderes or your opinions of what I have written. Or even an entirely different concept in general.

Lastly, thank you so much for the praise! I'm glad you liked my Andrey fic. He was a bit challenging to write because as you can see I specialised in romanticism and down bad old men and he's a fuck boy with anger issues and a renaissance man. So I had to conceade that no, he won't take you on picnics but he will take you to get your nipples pierced and maybe get a matching set of his own.

I'm happy you like my smut! I struggled a lot with figuring out how to write it ironically- I stuided romance and fluff I didn't take any good dick courses! So I only improved through trial and error, I changed my smut style so many times ah- The current one is the one I like most!

[reveseke]

Hey, I just had a thought that I needed to write somewhere, so here i am.

It's about the Crossover between CM and Spiderman, in Spiderman he (Peter Parker/Spiderman) have an ally, right ? So imagine if in the Criminals Minds univers, this ally was Spencer Reid. Like, when they were at school the two meet each others and were in the same dorm in that AU, and Spencer, being the smart guy we call know he is, will realize something is strange about his friend. For exemple, if it's the Black Widow!Reader, he will see that the reader sometimes have a mask (let me headcanon that, for not biting people, the reader used to wear a mask, especially before the BAU), and he will see that the reader go out the night, so one night he will just stay awake at night, and he will discover like that that Reader is the Spiderman.

Pretty sure it's how he met Rossi or Guideon in that AU, because Rossi/Guideon (after learning that Reader is Spiderman) will be intrigued/interested about this ally who helps Spiderman. OR It's Spencer, after Reader was badly injured, that decided to tell them all about Reader being Spiderman.

----

That was just a small idea that was stuck in my head-

Have a good night ! (Or day if it's the day for you rn)

Nah I love this !! Have some thoughts lol (I hope you don't mind, it's been too long that I've been able to think about an interest with someone else lol getting excited.). Going to answer the ask from yesterday later on since I have things to run won't probably get to it for another hour or two in my case.

But both the anon sign offs you asked about are free to be claimed, feel free to decide which one -> 🕷️anon or 🦝anon. :3

—

We loving Spencer's pattern recognition outing reader as the spiderman to him !! Also I realized that I read the text wrong at some point, but I'm too lazy to scrap the thoughts so I'm diving it to before joining BAU and after joining BAU lol.

Just imagining Spence casually walking in on Reader tending to his injuries as he wanted to ask them about something originally and just barged into their room bc open door so thought it would be okay (the reader didn't think the guy was home, but Spence's quiet). And him just straight up denying any and all other explanations the reader dishes out to him bc he *knows* he's lying and gives multiple rational reasons to why he knows that the reader is spiderman & how Spence figured it out. (Looking at that school & dorm point before BAU joining.)

Lowkey would be really impressed that he didn't catch on sooner since now that he thought about it it seemed kinda obvious to him and the reader being impressed about him figuring it out and being so casual about it to him. Then the safety concerns roll out and now Spence's worried and insistent on helping the reader out either physically or by possibly providing information on things Reader didn't have access to before/helping the reader figure out things when it comes to crimes and so on specifically to superpower-related crimes where the law enforcement could do very little without possibly major casualties (also this possibly getting the interest of the FBI and/or Gideon?).

Kinda thinking of coder/hacker Reid would be cool for it, if he picked up coding in the AU and never just kinda used it when he was in the BAU but he knows somewhat how to do it still!!

(Nskdk wanna headcanon that real bad; Reid knowing how to code and hack but not to the same extent like Garcia bc the queen has her whole life been into it unlike Spencer who's been dipping into it now and then in the past and knows the basics at least !!)

Also Rossi or Gideon having an interest in the duo specifically in Reid would be so real though — them trying to figure his identity out so they could possibly recruit him or get the FBI interested in Spencer so they could possibly recruit him especially after seeing his genius ass and how talented he is (kinda like Garcia was, albeit Garcia was given an ultimatum about either helping them or doing time. Which kinda wouldn't be such a bad idea, like in the sense that Reid is helping a street vigilante and could be tied to the reader's crimes.). And also so they could possibly out the reader as a spiderman as well so he'd be easier to catch if the spiderman wasn't that much liked by law enforcement! (Which Reid ofc would never do bc he knows that the reader could possibly be put in serious trouble lol (this being before the initial injury that would have Spence outing the reader to his team!!) + maybe the strong sense of justice where Reid thinks that the law enforcement isn't doing enough to stop crime and thus thinks that the reader being out and about as spiderman/the infamous Black Widow is better than them police and the FBI in a way??)

(When he's part of the BAU ->) it would be kinda funny if he swayed or casually bribed Garcia to helping him obtain information about random things to help out the reader when the BAU didn't yet know the identity of the spiderman!!

And when he tells them about the reader's identity after a possibly fatal wound leaving the reader grounded and off spiderman work for a while, he does it bc he could be feeling the need to have someone else in the reader's corner that can do more than Spence can do alone for the Reader from "the inside" aka the BAU. And now, realistically they would possibly think of just arresting them but they (the team) ultimately decide against it since they see it as an opportunity for an unusual ally. The reader's identity is kept securely under wraps but there forms a teamwork type bond between them all since the reader's simply helping the civilians like the BAU is and there's actually no proper proof of the reader being a proper threat that didn't involve self-defense or defending someone else (looking at the headcanon of wearing a mask sometimes to stop the biting when civilian and I think he'd also be so much more cautious about biting people (both on accident and on non-accident) and only doing it in the sense of a threat that he can't subdue and will be a bigger problem if it's not dealt properly with.)

They would kinda help each other and dealing with superpowered individuals might just become easier for the BAU as well if the unsub is one. Also they could possibly use the reader's help with some things in general.

[justanotherpersonsuniverse]

hey cap! just wanted to say: last week was CRAZY so i only just got around to rereading panthera (500 pages in babyy), however i have a couple of notes! and a photo.

these are now pantheras gloves to me sozzles.

onto the notes from the top of my head!

absolutely love how fucking stupid rose was about being in love with juleka. like she really just. didn't notice for so damn long.

i like how you foreshadow events! like i know they are coming because yknow. read this damn thing about 5 times now. but i notice new things each time damnit!

you would not believe how vivid that scene from guitar villain of panthera going so hard is for me, like that is genuinely one of the images that comes up for me when i think about this fic

once again. foreshadowing. i actually didn't notice the first few times that Lilas mum says "the city of love" and then teases her about a romantic relationship, and the way Lila reacts?? excellent. love noticing new details

i actually fucking love anarka so much frfr, you got her character down so nicely, like she's not 'important' but she is and it comes through (also i will always always lose it over you using scottish slang, sometimes you use it in such a strange way and i love it)

onto the questions!

ok so people joke about it in the asks but will we be seeing Rose with a miraculous? i think the dynamic between juleka and Rose as she is transformed would be absolutely hysterical, but also seeing Julekas thoughts on Rose being in danger would be fascinating. (along with knowign which miraculous she would be getting)

is Marinette ever going to figure out who Panthera is? and to extend that question; what are tikkis motivations for identities being kept so secret whereas plagg doesn't care as much? or is it simply to stay true to some of the show?

I've noticed that Juleka sometimes has bouts of confidence (eg. horrificator) and acts more 'like panthera' but i have been curious on whether she would start to be more talkative in general, not that she has / should be but i've just been curious about that since i first started reading if i'm honest with you. (i find that panthera is similar to masking and how i view that so Juleka would probably be increibdly socially exhausted if she did so) i also ask because it would be really funny to see her casually flirt with friends really smoothly without the cat ears

will we be seeing more of Rose noticing Juleka and Marinette havign some sort of bond? before she realised her feelings it was explicitly stated (i think in numerical? replacement for reflecta.) that she felt jelous over their interactions and i am interested to see if that would continue (though i may be forgetting details! i am only 500 pages into a 1700 roundabout document)

On a bit of a time crunch rn and may appear again so thats all for now!

notes on the two 'new' chapters coming soon!

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Great to read your notes again! As for your questions...

We will eventually! In Season 4! She'll still be Pigella, because I love Pigella, but I'll be doing my best to keep it refreshing!

2. Eventually. I'll hold my tongue on saying whether she'll learn post canon or in the fic, I can't wait to show you all how my plans play out. As for Tikki- I'd like to imagine many of her ladybugs died because they let their identities leak. She's a bit traumatized.

3. 'Panthera' as an identity is very much Juleka's way of masking! I'm glad you picked up on that. At first i wrote it as a funny instinct but as I kept going the idea of Juleka literally taking that identity to mask well, yeah! It got depressing in Prince Shining but now that Juleka is more in tune with herself- I hope to play more around with the running gag of her being 'Panthera' when she's supposed to be 'Juleka.'

4. I apologize that it was a little plot thread that never got as explored as I had originally intended to so many years ago but!! Rose's thoughts on Marinette and Juleka's relationship will eventually make a return!

Happy reading!! Stay tuned for more!!

[claudiajcregg]

i'd love to hear any behind the scenes you have on 'say it's here where our pieces fall in place' bc i read it and loved it and i want to know about it 💜

Welp, I've been thinking about this since you sent it and I feel I won't do it justice! I feel like I could say a lot if I went chapter by chapter, but many tabs of unread fics stare back at me. I'll skim and try to say something, though.

Some commentary on say it's here where our pieces fall in place under the cut! I am sick and rambly. And lbr I can never shut up anyway, but this might be too incoherent even for me. (Original ask post here)

It was sort of an unofficial NaNoWriMo project, in that I set myself a goal to tackle “longer fics” or ideas I wanted to cover but hadn't. From my notes, I had this idea to write a ficlet per year because I always enjoy this kind of story, and I know I'd tried to approach different ones in the past. I started writing in late October/finished in Nov 2021. (The other fic I started was never finished, even if dammit, it hits.) I posted it in January, so it wasn't that bad, considering I'll often take months.

It's maybe important to note that I had only finished writing “The Monster (affectionate)” (aka the 148k-ish word IM AU) in early September and I felt a bit burned out after spending five months writing that (would’ve been less but the struggle was real for the last third of the story. Oddly reminiscing of you-know-what story these days). This arbitrary deadline helped me get back into writing. Granted, I wrote a couple of fics in those five months, but I wanted to try another multichapter.

Anyway. I picked some random, perhaps not obvious choices for the vignettes. It was partly to avoid writing something I might have potentially covered at one point, and also a challenge. Some are also strange (the dream!), but I kinda loved it? (Fun fact: the fic references the Sherry-Netherland, whose exterior is the establishing shot in Internal Displacement. I swear there is some thought put into my writing.) And as the A/N I wrote to myself, I definitely wrote and rewrote bits and pieces of this on my way to and from therapy, haha.

Let me find a fun fact about each of the chapters, if I can think of any.

1998: actually repurposed some campaign fic idea I distinctly remember writing in spring 2018, while I was still in uni. It also has GLOVES. I live for that.

1999: I like the idea of exploring Danny and Abbey's relationship! They presumably have a good one and yet, I don't think we ever see them interact. (And god. Danny's recent, pre-campaign breakup is a recurring theme in my campaign stories too, loool.)

2000: Danny and Josh are an underrated friendship, and I like the references to Rosslyn. There was so much in those months in Midterms that we didn't see, and I like thinking Danny visited his friend.

We also got two back-to-back chapters focused on Danny - I remember trying to make it even, so that the focus was more or less evenly split.

2001: the Manchester fuckup! And it's one of the dream chapters! There were two of them? (We're 3 out of 4 in which I was surprised by the focus, but now I kinda want to re-read it all properly?) I'll say that I can see some vague, unconscious inspo from Freefall by KadeeFalls in this chapter (esp since I was just talking to you about it)... But I'm mostly obsessed with the magical realism (there's another term that my foggy brain cannot think of rn) of dreams, and how it can help us clear our heads.

2002: I remembered this was set after Simon! I know it's probably an odd, controversial choice but they both tried to move on (at least, we know CJ did), and it felt disingenuous not to include it. There are moments when she almost admits to her previous (?) feelings for Danny, but stops.

As with most thus far, there were fluffier and probably better choices for 2002 (Christmas!!), but... My brain wanted it to appear like CJ couldn't really bring herself to think about Danny.

2003: Aw, the specialty store is inspired by a franchise over here that had Goldfish (not many flavors) and I took a dramatic license and added it over there. I also added a small flashback because I love thinking Danny doesn't think they're all that but likes them. (But will tease CJ about it.) Plus, some more resolution to moving on!

2004: Yeah, the formatting is weird. (This is one I'd have to go back and do a blockquote or something.) Danny winning a Pulitzer for the Shareef stuff is a mostly accepted headcanon. CJ seeing his picture on the paper and having feels is just something I love, especially if he mentions someone else. (Look. I'm all for letting him pine, but he deserves to move on and fail too.) Plus Josh teasing her!

2005: The Sherry-Netherland! fwiw, I'm sure I had finally figured out this was the place and decided it would be so cheeky to add it here. I'm so sMaRt. Flowers when she gets promoted! And my spin (in this story) of CJ vaguely shunning him. This is the angst before the fluff.

2006: I remembered this one was a dream at some restaurant! (Again the formatting is not great, but I didn't want to tip my obvious hand.) The same way I think CJ's dream in 2001 was about her wondering how Danny would have reacted, this is about Danny realizing he needs to reach out to her... But with the added family ~tale~. Def inspired by that lyric in "Sad Beautiful Tragic."

2007: I feel like having it at some random dinner with Josh and Donna was an odd choice, but I loved the idea of a double date! The scarf scene is just so! And the chaos siblings energy is great. It was a reprieve from the angst.

Meeting at LAX was right there! I had written a story or two trying to do it justice, so I'm guessing that's why it's not. And fwiw the airport story I wrote shortly after that is the one being posted ~soon~. (A rewritten, slightly expanded version.)

2008: Pregnancy mood swings! It hurt to make them fight, but it's so fluffy otherwise. From what I remember, it has various references to things that happen in the story (particularly from the first two chapters) but it still manages to close it rather nicely, showing how strong their marriage is. I hope.

Okay. This has gotten way too long and it's probably useless.

I've always said I could have written another 11 chapters using different scenes, because there are just so many, even outside the obvious ones... Though I feel I wouldn't be able to recapture the magic.

I do definitely want to reread this for real. As with many fics, it's one of those I used to reread often before posting it (especially the last quarter/third) and then just ignored after. See some other recent examples, such as memoir fic, Portland fic.

Thank you for asking, Ally! God, I used to be a good writer. What happened?!??!

[eddiestattoos]

20 questions for fanfic writers!

Tagged by @aintgonnatakethis 💙

How many works do you have on AO3? 46

What's your total AO3 word count? 213 147

What fandoms do you write for? My big two are stargate (any and all. Mostly sg1 and sga though) and csi. Though my ao3 says my most posted fandoms are smallville and spn, and that's technically correct, from the svnatural crossovers. There's a couple other shows thrown in there too but we won't get into my whole writing history and future rn

Top 5 fics by kudos:

The thing about a fantasy (csi, G, CathRick)

Beautiful disaster (sga, sg1, T, Gen.)

Keep me safe (sg1, G, Sam/Daniel)

Take me back into your arms (sg1, T, Sam/Daniel)

Morning person (sg1, G, sam & daniel)

Do you respond to comments? Not always, but no that if you've left a nice comment I'm grinning like an idiot each and every time I read it. I love them.

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I feel like I don't write a ton of angsty ending so I might have to say so much for normal (also my 6th fic by kudos). It ends basically how spn starts, so yeah.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oh so many but I think the ultimate one has to be take me back into your arms. Nothing like a reunion after coming back to this mortal coil

Do you get any hate on fics? Thankfully no (knock on wood)

Do you write smut? No siree. Not my wheelhouse

Craziest crossover? I basically started by writing crossovers, but the wackiest is definitely the Jason Teague & Dean Winchester are twins fic. Thanks @morrison-the-ii once again

Have you ever had a fic stolen? I hope not!

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge, but I'd allow it!

Have you ever co written a fic? I've bounced ideas with various people, but never actually wrote with anybody

All time favourite ship? I'm not sure tbh. My unhinged svnatural SamLois era was very fun and am still much a fan of Sam/Daniel fics. But one it always seems to come back to writing for me is the brotp between Sara and Nick. They're such a great dynamic to work with and I truly missed writing all csi but especially them so much. Bonus answer Clois, but I don't think I've wrote anything for them. Or at least not anything beyond a ficlet

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have this saving hope doc I've had for over a year that was meant to be a role reversal of the series finale (meaning its Alex because I like to be even more depressing apparently). The doc is still empty to this day and I honestly think itll stay that way but let's be real nobody wants that anyway I know I really don't 😭. Could also say csi road trip fic but I'm damned and determined to write that one

What are your writing strengths? Characters and dialogue. I love characters and I always feel like I have a good grasp on each of them and can keep them in character as much as possible

What are your writing weaknesses? Any kind of creative descriptors.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language? I doubt I'd personally try it, but I mean if you want to, I don't see a reason not to

First fandom you wrote in? First fic I ever started was Resurfacing (csi, M, gen.) First fic I posted however was the original version of hear it from me (svnatural, G; Clois & Sam)

Favourite fic you've written? Do you know how hard this is? I might have to go with special occasion (svnatural, G; gen.) Just because of how excited I was for that idea combining the best of both worlds. But another one I'm proud of for some reason is just maybe (we'll be alright) (sgu, G; TJ/Young). I don't often feel great about my scene setting and emotion but I like to think I hit the nail on the head with that one

Tagging (no pressure): @sga-owns-my-soul @jencsi @ilkkawhat and @space-helen

But please also feel free to jump on if you see this!

[fervency-if]

Phew, I'm glad you think so. I feel a bit shy sending Asks because I'm not the best at conversations and I'm mostly unsure on how I should voice things. Maybe that's why I like Elan so much, we're quite similar in that aspect😄.

I'm trying to show support for the writers I like from the IF community, the way ya'll put so much effort into writing and coding while also aswering a buch of questions on daily basis? Ya'll are too beautiful😔.

And thank you, I'm feeling the love rn 🫂 🌻

That's so interesting! I've looked up what both of the Physician's names means, the L name being "Light" and the C name "from the Heavens" or simply "Heavenly", so your choices compliment each other very well. It also relates to her character since the people dying from the plague may seem her as a Heaven's sent.(though drinking blood or consuming flesh is far from heavenly😷).

Thank you for sharing your thought process for the names of our beloved main cast 🌹.

It's incredible to see what you turned Fervency into after knowing its origins, seems like writing it came to you naturally. Oh, something that has been on my mind; what defines someone's cravings? There's a way to know whether they'll consume blood or flesh? I don't remember if it has has mentioned in the game so I apologize in advance😅 My memory isn't that great

Oh, but absolutely! Easier said than done, of course, but there is no need to be shy when it comes to sending me asks, I'm always glad to receive them, and I genuinely think that you word things very well! Elan would like hearing that - he would feel that 'oh, if they feel similar, perhaps I seem less awkward to them,' haha.

Oh, that is really nice and kind of you. I can probably speak for a lot of authors - and definitely myself - when I say that the support is highly appreciated and more. It sincerely means a lot, and is wonderful for the motivation! To have supportive readers is extremely valuable and rewarding!

Aw, that is sweet! 🌸🫶

I'm glad that you found it interesting, and so is your reply to this. They do complement one another, and I didn't even think about that when I decided the combination, that much I remember. It's always so much fun when there are these fitting little coincidences I think. I like how you mentioned the Heaven's sent - it really is double-edged there, haha, the entire 'getting saved, but.'

My pleasure! 🍀

It definitely came naturally to me, yes - very organically. I only had some hour to come up with the short story when I got the 'write a vampire story'-prompt, so it just popped up in my head. I didn't expect to actually make a big thing of it back then, though, but I'm very happy that I did. I'm having a lot of fun with it!

Your question hasn't been answered in the game, no - and even if it had... well, the game is 400 000 words long, I would never expect anyone to remember everything, so even if it had been answered, I wouldn't have minded answering it again - so no need to apologise, if you're curious about something, don't hesitate to ask, it's all good!

As far as I'm aware, it's quite random, what becomes of one's cravings, what one's body needs. I think there are things that nudges a person in a certain direction; namely, what happened as one got fed upon might increase the chance for a certain craving. If the main character is a cannibal, the Physician mentions their flesh as she talks about their disease with them, but if they are a vampire, she mentions their blood instead. This isn't fool-proof, though, since Roswhen, who's cause for almost-death was decidedly bloody, became a cannibal, and I would say that Elan's disorder affected his flesh more than his blood, even though he had been bleeding a rather vast amount.

As a little bonus, I once noticed that when it comes to the current love interests, more phlegmatic and melancholic people are vampires, and more sanguine and choleric people are cannibals. Nothing I thought about as I wrote them, there were other reasons for me to pick their cravings, but it was a fun little find, even though it means nothing in the long run since every main character is different.

[livums]

One Song for Every OC Pairing

Heyo! I was tagged in the One Song for Every OC game by @sarahlizziewrites (find her post here!).

Originally, I did the post for my OCs from The Marking Blood (find that post here!), but I've had sooo many songs for romantic pairings burning a hole in my head, so I thought I'd do that instead!

Please enjoy!

🌙🩸The Marking Blood🩸🌙

Sonea / Maja

If I'm out of line / Just show me the door / I promise you I / Won't come here no more / If you just tell me / What you think about me / I can collect all my things from the floor

More under the cut!

Sylah / Nieve

It's a secret I keep tucked inside my chest / With this heart of mine that's guilty, not remorseful / There is love that doesn't have a place to rest / But it would have buried you if it had settled on your shoulders

Zova / Cas

Strange is the call of this strange man / I wanna fly down and feed at his hand / I want a nice, soft place to land / I wanna lie down forever

And the choice is yours if you're willing to choose / Seeing as you've got nothing to lose / And I could use a canary

Suddenly, nothing is as it was / Where are you now, Orpheus? / Wasn't it gonna be the two of us? / Weren't we birds of a feather?

Sonea / Nic / Cas

If you weren't mine, I'd be jealous of your love

🔪🐝Sister Hollow / The Rival🐝🔪

Trinket / Seybryn

All of this is getting just a little too real / And I don't wanna fuck around / I don't wanna, I don't wanna / Punish me to yet another ordeal

I don't wanna talk about the way I feel / Right now I feel like I could never fuck with you again / But it's okay, you'll probably just forget

Trinket / Aviyah

But I didn't die a lover of sky / And now I know why / And it had nothing to do with that fuckin' guy

After one too many facts / I heard, "Who has made you cry like that?" / There stood Aphrodite, where I wept in the grass / With one glimpse, I was seduced / Her immortal face set my limbs loose / Two minds became one / She was second to none / Call me "nothing new" because she was the sun

🧚‍♀️🌟The Romance of the Demigods🌟🧚‍♀️

Kesh / Eve

I stole your fate / And now you're forced to love a man you hate / I know you don't feel the same / But I burn for you

You burn for me?

I burn.

and another one for them because i'm obsessed rn sorry

"What makes you pull the rose, the rose? / What makes you break the tree? / What makes you come to Carterhaugh / Without the leave of me?"

"But Carterhaugh is not your own / Roses there are many / I'll come and go all as I please / And not ask leave of any."

Anyone who feels like it please feel free to do it and say i tagged you lol. anyways i did this instead of writing . oops. also me dropping this without explaining who half these people are...... erm..... forgive me 🙏🏼