#I just don't know

[hacked-by-jake]

I posted my first Duskwood post on July 11, 2020.

I discovered Duskwood shortly after episode 2 was released.

Since then I'm here.

I got three Duskwood tattoos. (To be fair, one got a cover up but it wasn't anything huge so) But I still have two.

On July 18, 2022, I travelled 10 hours to visit Villingen-Schwenningen. The city where Duskwood takes place. I saw the fountain and the library. I saw the Gate Of Hope and the Rainbow Café. And I even saw the Grimrock Waterfall. Because it was my dream to see it.

And now, here we are. In front of this heap of shards.

Money making, using AI, deleting critical comments, probably buying fake follower etc etc.

I don’t want to act like I'm the biggest victim of this situation. I don't want to make it about me. And I also know that Everbyte won't see this.

And as I said... I still have hopes. Strong hopes. And I don't want to believe that this situation can't be solved. But I'm still sitting here and asking myself "What if they won't see their mistakes? What if they won't change? What if they really don't care about us"

Right now I'm holding onto the hopes. But if it turns out that Everbyte is the complete opposite of what we believed through Duskwood...

This all is going to feel like the biggest joke. ^^

[dharmafox]

Do you think he knows? Nakamura? Do you think he knows what he's doing? Because I know that sometimes creators just don't. The relationship between Mulder and Scully on The X Files led to the very invention of the term "shipping," and yet the entire time that was happening, the show's creator insisted that there was no romance between the characters. And if you've ever seen The X Files, you know how insane that is. So I really gotta wonder: When he gives us dynamics like those between Asa and Kame, or even those between the second Medicine Seller and Sakashita, does he know what he's doing? Or would he, if confronted with scenes of Asa and Kame's mutual self-sacrificial devotion, their tenderly holding hands as they lie beside each other through the night, insist that they're just good friends? Would he, if questioned about the Medicine Seller sensually running his hand along Sakashita's sword blade while looking deep into his eyes and smirking, declare that there's nothing homoerotic about it? Would he tell us—and truly believe—that it's all in our heads? Is the powerful presence of homosexuality in Karakasa an accident, or is it a calculated aspect of the story? I'm not wondering for the sake of some analytical interpretation (at least, not at the moment). I just really want to know. Is he oblivious, or does he know what he did?

[eachuisge-cc]

in addition to the usual hair swatches that the DigiLegs get, I'm working on swatches that match the feline skins, so they'll blend in and can be used together.

Because of this, and because these paws have shorter fur than the wolf or goat overlays, I'm using the composition method I use for the feline skin marking tats instead of the one I normally use for the leg overlays, so I have to color match the hair swatches all over again on nightmare mode. So yeah that might take a minute but it's underway.

[iztarshi]

87 Splinter is being hard to write because his thing is being Wise and Calm, but out of all Splinters he should be the least prepared for the stuff he winds up guiding the turtles through. He's just a guy who was teaching his clan's ancestral martial arts for cultural reasons. It doesn't seem like he was ever a soldier or a crime-fighter, definitely not an assassin (87 just straight up ignores what ninjas actually are a lot of the time). Despite his insistance on calling Shredder his "ancient enemy" Shredder was a surprise, there wasn't an evil guy who needed fighting until Splinter's student suddenly betrayed him and allied with an alien warlord.

Some of Splinter being Calm and Wise and always knowing the Right Thing To Do has to be a pose, right? He can't be feeling Calm and Wise all the time. He can't always be sure he's doing the right thing, although he certainly never apologises when he ends up hurting the turtles with his lessons.

Considering how gentle he is towards the turtles 90% of the time I feel like it must be intended for their sake. In an uncertain world he thinks they need an authority that can always tell them the right thing to do. His own uncertainty is something he can't show (and the few times we do see him uncertain it's on missions, especially ones where the turtles aren't present).

When I think about it the turtles are darling little guys, but they're also bigger than Splinter, capable of ripping through sheet metal, and went straight from animals to adolescents. Maybe that's another reason why he can be rigid about the moral code he imposes on them and about his own authority. We see mutants like Tokka and Rahzar and Slash who can cause a lot of damage without real ill-will just because they were suddenly thrown into a world they were unprepared for without guidance. Even though the turtles are never accepted into society properly, Splinter is very insistent on them seeing themselves as part of society, emphasising their usefulness to others as something they should be glad of. (Which actually strikes me as a very Japanese attitude, but since it's also an attitude seen in a lot of 80's cartoons that's probably a coincidence. It's certainly a contrast to the morals seen in Rise about "being yourself" and how it's a mistake to try to conform.)

I'm left with the feeling he'd be a very interesting character if the narrative didn't always go out of its way to agree with him. But I'm also at a loss for how he'd handle the kind of situations the narrative of his own show would never put him in.

[incesthemes]

as they suffer, they compare themselves to christ. but the difference between them is striking. crozier says he is (like) christ, while fitzjames insists he's not. it makes me think about authenticity: crozier is "real" while fitzjames is "fake." and this idea is brought up again in the show. in episode 1 crozier hesitates to stand in recognition for his feats of valor, and in episode 4 fitzjames himself questions him as to why he even volunteered for a voyage—one whose purpose is essentially glory and fame. crozier is therefore framed as someone who shies away from the spotlight and instead focuses on earnest, hard work to achieve his goals. he cares more about his work than the recognition for it.

fitzjames is his opposite: he is all vainglory and mirrors, achieving feats of valor just to spread his name and climb the social ladder. and he talks excessively of his accomplishments, to the point that it seems to disgust crozier in episode 1.

so here is christ and christ's imposter, suffering upon their cross as they seek redemption for their own transgressions. crozier overcomes his alcoholism, and fitzjames overcomes his vanity.

to be eaten is to disappear entirely, to be erased from the world. with his request to be consumed fitzjames does overcome his vanity. he gives everything he has and asks nothing in return, so he achieves the authenticity that crozier naturally has as the "real" christ figure. i have no idea where i'm going with this but i am staring wide-eyed at these parallels. i don't know. i just don't know.

[andy-clutterbuck]

7x12 | Say Yes

[sweatersexual]

I'm not really liking Sazed's faith crisis storyline so far. It's just so . . . culturally Christian atheist bro-ish. Like, the Keepers are basically historical ethnographers, right? They preserved all these dead cultures in the wake of the Final Empire. They analyzed all the old religions for their cultural values, and they should be aware that because all these religions are dead, they're not able to see the interplay between doctrine and regular practice that you can in living religions.

So for Sazed to dismiss all those cultural values and complexities just because they don't meet up with some arbitrary standard of "truth" just . . . puts a bad taste in my mouth. You would think that a guy who helped overthrow a theocratic empire would be less invested in the idea of there being a "one true religion" that you can prove with #factsandlogic

And then there's what brought this all on. I'm sorry, but Sazed has seen death and brutality. He's watched people he loved die before. He really never cared about what happened to their souls just because he didn't have romantic feelings for them? Really?

I'm willing to see where Branderson is going with this, but idk man idk. Is Sazed going to found a new, totally logical alpha religion? I'm not sure how I feel about that. Because it could be cool, I imagine he would draw on the best stuff from all the religions he's studied, and it's neat to watch religious syncretism happen in real time. But idk if I'll like how Branderson handles it. We Mormons can get real weird about truth claims . . . I know he's a progressive Mormon now but I don't know where his head was at in 2008

[epickiya722]

Sometimes I look at memes like this and wonder why...

Though two comments are like "so we're gonna compare trauma now like it's a competition" and another was like how this meme implies Megumi had a better life. Which everyone who knows Megumi's backstory know his life isn't sunshine and rainbows.

Like, they're both victims.

[allastoredeer]

Discussing fandom and its trends is one of my favorite things 🤓 I hope you don't mind me sharing some of the pseudotheories and pseudoanalyses I've seen before (to me they're all fun and I don't think they should be taken 100% seriously, please no one be offended)

1 The name of the boat that goes first is the favorite.

Quite funny in my opinion and from what I have seen it is not necessarily false, but many times it is that putting it differently sounds *wrong*, especially when they are combinations of the name

(Although after seeing that apparently apple radio and radioapple are not the same now I need an explanation of what radiosilent is as opposed to radiostatic)

2 The sub is The favorite

The first time I saw this was in a SW comment thread with a Chinese reader who was commenting with the author about top/Bottom preferences for the language and commented on this theory. They said that the Bottom gets all the love and since you want your favorite character to be adored that's why you write it like that

3 you project yourself into the Bottom

This came from another fandom, things got heated and toxic and a common accusation from a ship is that half the ship "had no personality" and they were using it to project themselves into a relationship whith the top

Personally I think they are all true to some extent, but I also see them as renunciationist and I myself am not without my own prejudices.

Part of the problem is that in relationships m/m and w/w, they continue to be written as one part a hairy-chested alpha male and the other part a blushing, submissive (and I have a weakness for ABO bulbs but there the problem is worse). In the case of radioapple Alastor has been reduced to his ego and need for control (so he could never let go. And is there something strangely allosexual about the way they write it?) and Lucifer to his depression (so he needs to be adored... And the truth is, I do think 3 applies here)

With what we see, I think that Lucifer has no problem being at the bottom, but his preference is at the top, even bordering on the Dom.Lucifer has insecurity and depression but he also knows he is powerful and we see him being authoritarian even if he later recants.He seems to be the type who would enjoy being the one to give pleasure to his partner, but I also don't see him giving up control easily when there are already so many things in his life out of control.Lucifer doesn't want someone to come in and take control by emptying his head, he wants something he can control and show exactly how good he is at it.

Alastor, on the other hand (this is where my prejudice comes in): what does he gain by being the top? Some kind of power play? Because I feel like Alastor can find that high without involving genital play.How ace (and probably aroace and almost certainly on the gray or demi side for most fics to work) Alastor would need something more to really get involved like that, which is why I feel like the top Alastor fics almost always feel too Allo for my taste, he just fucks like anyone else.When Alastor is the Bottom the writer gives him a little more nuance.

So that's my two cents to the discussion 🙃

Honestly, I think you're on point with most of these. (I too would like to know the difference between radiosilence and radiostatic - i see a lot of different names pop up for Alastor/Vox, whether its reciprocal or unrequited, and I can't keep up with it. I think radiosilence means the attraction is one-side? Maybe?? I think??

I can see the logic behind people having their fav be the bottom because they want them to feel loved and adored. I, too, am guilty of this. It also probably helps that the top is usually depicted as doing most of work LOL (Bringing Doms and Subs into this, there are a lot of fics that explore sub-drop, usually with their fav character--which I totally get--but it'd be interesting to read more fics that explore dom-drop too).

Personally, I've never felt any real attraction towards the characters I like, so I've never projected myself as a bottom or top through a pairing to be with one of the character. I project my insecurities and life experiences on them 🤓☝️ LMAO same basic concept, just a different shades But characterXreader fics/posts are super popular! So, I see that one too.

Part of the problem is that in relationships m/m and w/w, they continue to be written as one part a hairy-chested alpha male and the other part a blushing, submissive (and I have a weakness for ABO bulbs but there the problem is worse). In the case of radioapple Alastor has been reduced to his ego and need for control (so he could never let go. And is there something strangely allosexual about the way they write it?) and Lucifer to his depression (so he needs to be adored... And the truth is, I do think 3 applies here)

Very much agreed. I enjoy Omegaverse fics too, but it's one of those fanfic tropes that I'm picky about. It needs to be written a certain way for me to really enjoy it.

I don't know, just the default that one person has to be dominate and the other has to submissive never sat right with me. For a long time, I was super squicked out by even the thought of being in a relationship because of this. I'm a small person, most people are taller than me, and I'm pretty thin, so the mental assumption that I'd have to be "the submissive one," considering that's what almost always happens in these depicted relationships, made me feel so much anger, anxiety, and discomfort. I hated the thought that that's what would be expected of me. (Personal lore drop: considering I also grew up in a hyper-religious, extremely patriarchal town, the expectation felt 10x worse and 100x more real. I dreaded getting older and starting romantic/sexual relationships).

Also, yes, with a lot of top!Alastor content I've seen, there is something very strangely allosexual about it. Or, at least that's how it comes off to me. Asexuality is a spectrum, so there's no "perfect" way to be ace, it's just...there's just something about it that feels very allosexual, and maybe why I keep shying away from it. It squicks me out a bit, ngl.

People keep saying they see Lucifer as a switch, and funnily enough, it was actually confirmed by Vivenne Mendrano that he canonically is a switch! Of course, if people want to see him exclusively as a bottom or top, that's fair. You do you, boo. We're here to have a good time. But I'm very happy with his canon sexuality, so that's where I keep him. I can see him as a sub and a dom, too.

I also see Lucifer as the type who enjoys giving his partner pleasure! Be it bottoming, topping, subbing, or domming. He'll try out kinks and position and role-play, because I headcanon him and Lilith having a very healthy, very explorative sex-life. They were freaks in the sheets, and they tried all the new, crazy shit sinners brought with them into Hell.

I keep Alastor exclusively as a bottom, though. Some of it is because I see him being kind of grossed out with the idea of a part of him going into someone else (hello self projection!) but I also see him generally being sex-indifferent. Like, he'll have sex, and he'll enjoy it, but it's not something he typically seeks out for himself. Maybe once in a way, when he's in the ✨mood✨ he'll initiate. If his partner wants sex and he doesn't, he's not forcing himself. If his partner wants sex and he's kind of just vibing--not feeling horny, but not really against it either--yeah, he'll have sex. It's not like he's getting nothing out of it, he still feels and enjoys the pleasure in the act, even if he's generally indifferent towards doing it.

If he's comfortable with it he'll even indulge their kinks (and indulge his own 😉 not all kinks have to be sexual, afterall. And even if his are, that is still valid and does not take away from his sexuality because aces can still have sexual kinks 🫵 I'm looking at you, people who assume aces can't have sexual desires). (I also gave Alastor a power kink 😏 because I think he'd be into his partner displaying immense amounts of power. It doesn't even have to be directed at him. He'll watch his boo destroy a city block and then fuck them later because that was hawt.)

A lot of it could also be because he feels too allo for me when he is written as a top. Lol "he fucks like everyone else," is a very good way to put it 😂 When he bottoms, it feels like he's written with more of his ace-identity in mind, which I love!

But also, I like Alastor being a bottom just because. I vibe with it. 'Nuff said.

Thank you for your two cents!

[lasersheith]

Hmmmm HHMMMMM got to a Moash chapter and I for one am excited for Inquisitor (??) Moash but starting to become more and more concerned that mr branderson thinks monarchies are better than democracy 🧐🧐

[madeforunkownpurpose]

U could be a girl. Like, if you wanted to be a cute girl, you could do it. Tbh be careful you're in a safe zone w/ regards to having a support system or being able to find a new one, worst comes to worst, but you'd be a great girl. Idk if you need dysphoria tbh, do you like the thought of being a cute girl? it's achievable

-- a man who transitioned the other way round w/ minimal history of dysphoria and is still happy w/ the choice (also idk I know gals who are also multigender, you don't have to be just a girl all the time if that's not your joy)

I think I'd be completely safe if I were to. I just don't know if I'd regret it or be wrong. I'm just nervous.

[ace-and-ranty]

So I just recently quit a job.

It was relatively chill, with pretty good pay for the amount of work involved. But see, before that job, I've scheduled my own work hours for every job I've ever had. Since I worked mainly translation, well, clients don't care when you're sat down in front of the computer working, as long as they get things by deadline.

The fact that this job had specific working hours, during which I was expected to have my butt sat at the computer, was driving me insane.

It gave me the kind of low-level but constant anxiety that is the bane of my existence. It's the kind of anxiety where I cannot disconnect, I cannot relax, because I know in X hours I need to be at the job, and I hated it so much I, an extremely non-confrontational people pleaser, scrapped together the gumption to quit.

Why am I telling you all of this. You wonder. Well. Because for years now I have wondered, on and off, if maybe, perhaps, I'm like, a little bit autistic? I feel insane, in that I don't relate to a lot of the struggles autistic people often mention, but I feel just weird enough, just a-bit-to-the-left enough that I don't feel neurotypical, and I don't know what's going on there.

And well, one of the struggles I never connected to is "need for routine" because hum, no, actually, I've never really felt the need for a lot of routine. But oh? What's this? Now there's an expectation for how I gotta use my time, so my schedule is out of my control? And it's making me itch out of my fucking skin? How curious??

All to say, yeah, I don't know what's going on under the hood. But thank God for flexible working hours.

[hotcheetohatredwastaken]

what do you think the links favorite memes are?

I gotta be honest, I've left this sitting in my ask box for like a few days now because I have /no/ idea. I vaguely think that Wild is the "we back at it at Krispy Kreme" vine, but that's just because of those old videos of "Linked Universe as Vines" on YouTube. I mean I could regurgitate those if you wanted. "Hey, how you doing well I'm doing just fine I lied I'm dying inside" Time and stuff.

[a-sorry-sight]

Y'know, I... still feel conflicted about CCRP. Like, I do hate them, of course I do, they tortured me, they made me into a monster, but I... I miss my siblings more, man. 'Least I know Coral's alive, maybe, I... haven't really had the courage to check for myself, but....

[spacedustpan]

I assume people get the joke but for those that don't:

It's Will Turner Wednesday Somewhere

[5up3r-50n5]

Headcanons of my "Fruity 4"

Pav is the happy and carefree looking one one that secretly wanna die, he allways makes dark jokes and makes everyone worried for his mental health, especially Hobie

Hobie is the "fuck the rules" one that secretly cares about the others and try to keep them safe, he allways spend hours on hours in Pavitr's earth to hang out or just keep him company meanwhile Pavitr does his homeworks

Gwen is the scary one that is in love with Miles and bullies him to show her love for him, classic "I'll punch you in the face if you don't go on a date with me nerd!" 2000 bullying, and boys stereotipes

Miles is the new kid, he's the bullied one in the group, but everyone loves him

He allways uses the "remember when/that you initiate a manhunt against me" toward Miguel to get whatever he wants, sneeky bastard