#I jus saw the old versions by coincidence

[koolaidashley]

Realized I’ve drawn this about the same time for the past 2 years so. Keeping the trend going !!! My 04 boys I will bring them back I prommy one day…

2022 and 2023 drawings under cut >>>

[kangaroo-sniper-imagine]

Mercs who didn’t pay attention to their family trees

-I’m only doing a few mercs, cuz otherwise this would be huge-

Scout and Spy

When Miss Pauling introduced their newest recruit, The Thief, everyone was at least interested with the new blood. They were useful on the field; fast, silent, deadly, quickly able to steal the info case and dashing back to safety in record time. They were closed off at first, like many are in a new environment, but quickly opened up as soon as they were settled in.

The only person who didn’t quite connect with them was Spy (shocker). There was something about the new recruit that stuck him odd, something familiar about them that he couldn’t just put his finger on. The Frenchman’s son felt similarly.

“It’s like I already know ‘em; which is weird ‘cuz I’m dead certain we’ve never met before.”

It wasn’t until several weeks later, as the ten of you all were joined in the rec room, just enjoying each other’s company after a successful match. Jacque sat in the corner with Mick {not to derail but I totally think that they’re secret best friends who roast each other on the field}, both sipping at their drinks and idly talking as Jeremey sat with them, having a loud conversation with Jane from across the room.

Then they heard it. A deep, throaty chortle that was extremely unattractive, coming from across the room, coming from you

Both Jacque and Jeremy froze, the sound too familiar for it to be comfortable, eyes snapping to you, where you were wildly laughing with Travish. The Scotsman was sloshed and laughed along with your, his thundering laughter almost drowning out your own. Almost.

The sniper took a slow sip of his beer as he as well looked upon the commotion. He hummed in thought, and turned to the frozen spy. “Izzit jus’ me,” he drawled, gesturing with is beer can to you, “or do their laugh sound a lot like yours?”

Scout slowly turned to his father, rage in his eyes, but all Spy could do was watch you laugh that awful laugh. His brain slowly connected the evidence, memories of 20+ years ago invaded his mind, a dalliance with a woman who looks shockingly like you, the nose that you share with him and Jeremy, your strange obsession with your appearance, and most damning of all; the shitty laugh that you’ve seem to inherit from Jacque.

With a deep breath, the Frenchman stood up, determined to get out of the room and hide in his abode so he could scream in peace, but the sudden influx of the realization, rather, caused him to faint.

He awoke, what he assumed, several hours later, in a familiar camper bed. In his peripheral, Jacque could see Mick smoking a cigarette and reading a newspaper with one hand, a mug of coffee in the other. Without even looking up to confirm that the Frenchman was awake, the sniper spoke.

“Your kids are right pissed at you, mate.”

Jacque cursed.

Heavy and Soldier

Pauling was ecstatic to introduce more help, probably under the impression that this person to pick up the slack the other leaves so that her evenings won’t be filled with killing and covering up murders and thefts. Some young thing with a thick, almost indiscernible accent who spoke rarely and quietly. You were called the Electrician, for your… odd choice of weaponry.

Your gun was one of your own design, one you were very proud of, that rather than bullets shot out electrical charges, either stunning your opponent to help assist another teammate in a kill or give off a charge so intense it kills. You spent most of your free time in your assigned work shop improving your gun’s design and creating new weapons.

More than once, the team would hear a loud scream and the sound of a loud thud, only to come and find your door blown wide open and you stuck in the adjacent wall, hair shocked to stiffness and a new white streak added to your hair. Needless to say, you kept the team on their toes with your eccentricities. For some reason, your antics made Mikhail exceptionally worried. It was a weird knee jerk reaction he had, something that hadn’t flared up since he was younger, watching over his sisters.

About a month after your arrival, Jane caught you in his raccoon infantry pen, cooing over the animals that flocked to you. It was the first time he saw you smile since you’ve gotten there, and the first time he’s seen you out of your combat gear, now you wore a too large tee shirt and denim shorts, toes in the Arizona sand, scratching the chins of the furry animals. Deciding to try his luck, Jane approached you with a bellowing welcome, startling you, but you greeted him back regardless.

Jane noticed how much you liked watching the raccoons play with each other, but noticed you looked sad too.

“What’s the long face for, private?”

Your face pinched. When you spoke your words were slow, not used to English. “They have… family. I do not.” With a heavy sigh, you tried to elaborate. Jane didn’t mind waiting for you to collect your thoughts or your thick accent. Years of hanging out with Travish and Ludwig extremely sloshed had taught Jane patience in regards to others when they’re trying to speak an unfamiliar language.

“Mother was from… Russia? But father was from Norway, and mother went to there with him. When mother and father… died,” Jane’s heart twinged at the way your face fell, “I do not know how to find mother’s family in Russia, and father had no family in Norway. So I stay in Norway.” A beat of silence passed as you scratched the head of a curious baby raccoon that strayed closed to you. “I stay alone.”

Jane busted out crying, pulling you into a bear hug and vowing to be your surrogate family for as long as you want. He made it his mission to figure out who your family is. The first thing he did was write down the name of your parents, fully planning on hunting down your relatives after some good old fashioned American bonding.

Just as he was about to reunite with you after grabbing a baseball form his room, the American ran into Mikhail, who seemed pissed off

“You touch Sasha?” He accused, one large finger jabbing into the soldier’s chest. Jane couldn’t find it in himself to get mad at the accusation, he was a man on a mission to cheer up a sad kid and no angry Red was gonna stop him.

“No time,Sputnik! There’s a sad private who needs a moral boost and a good old game of catch!”

Rage quickly turned to confusion, then mild understanding. “Electrician is sad?”

Soldier gave a speedrun version of your sad backstory, even going as far to show the names of your parents to the Heavy. The Russian surveyed the sheet and he sighed. “That is not how name of mother is spelled.” He informed.

Jane scoffed. “And how would you know?”

Mikhail threw the American an unimpressed look. “Because family name is mother’s name before marriage.”

There was a second of realization.

“... is it a common last name?”

“... nyet.”

“... you might want to call your mother to confirm something.”

“... Heavy just might.”

—-

The next morning, Mikhail knocked on Jane’s door so early in the morning, the vet wasn’t even awake yet already doing his morning exercises.

The American looked up blearily to the Russian, one hand scratching his buzz cut head.

Mikhail looked grim. “Heavy call mother. Mother says that Electrician’s mother is cousin to her.”

Soldier mulled over the information. “So… your mama’s cousin is Private Zappy’s mama, so that makes us-

“Makes ME second cousin.” Mikhail insisted.

With an air of smugness, Jane flashed his left hand, displaying a wedding band. “Then I’m their second cousin in-law.”

Mikhail grumbled in annoyance and rolled his eyes, complaining in Russian. “Right. Sister Zhanna’s big mistake.”

With a sense of new found energy, Soldier stuck his chin up high and began marching towards your room, seemingly not aware that he was in only a pair of his tighty whiteys.

Mikhail sighed again but followed Jane regardless to tell you the news of your newfound family.

Medic (italics is German cuz lets be honest, who wants to translate all that)

After months of complaining to Pauling, asking for more on field medical help, upper management finally relented and hired a new mercenary, some bright young thing going by The Nurse.

You were studious, and compared to Ludwig you were very tamed. You saw this opportunity as a job to perform and not a way to finally experiment legally on people without getting arrested the way Ludwig does. You took your work seriously, dutifully dressing every wound, handing out pain medication, assisting Ludwig in his surgeries. You certainly helped lessen his work load during battle, helping with minor injuries so that the doctor could focus on his Ubercharge and on more serious injuries.

You two were professional to each other; despite showing you weren’t exactly sadistic you never chastised Ludwig for his somewhat cruel experiments, and you were always respectful to him and everyone else around you, which is something that impressed him (considering how noting the rest of the team is).

One day while experimenting on Heavy, you solemnly standing next to the doctor with your face covered like the good little health professional you were, the Medic fuzzed in German, adding, “I need a bone saw.”

Without him translating, you turned to your side and snatched the instrument off the tray, passing it to the doctor.

After a moment of thought, Ludwig spoke again. “You speak German?”

“Ja, I am from Germany after all.”

The russain’s rib finally took the blade and now was slicing easily. “What a coincidence. Which part?”

“Munich, but I left while I was very young when my family moved.” After another brief pause, you add, “I actually wanted to become a nurse because of Munich.

Ludwig didn’t mention that he, as well, came from the same city, rather, he decided to prod you and learn more. It was so rare to meet someone he could have a conversation in his mother tongue with.

“What in Munich made you want to become a nurse?” Reaching into Heavy’s chest with a scalpel, Ludwig began to sever the arteries attached to the heart.

“The University. My family lived nearby, and seeing the students come and go made me want to join them… actually a relative went there. My family was very proud of him and I wanted to go with him, but, ah, I was only a child.” Without being asked, you held out a silver pan that Ludwig deposited the heart.

The doctor started the timer, watching the mutilated chest cavity, waiting for the oregano to regrow due to his most recent experimental ‘medicine’. “Hmm, which relative?”

“Oh, my father’s brother’s wife’s…. something.” You replied idly, fetching a notebook and pencil to record the time. “Nephew or cousin’s nephew or something. It is a distant relation. Lost his license though.”

“Really? How?”

“He removed someone’s skeleton if you can believe it.”

Ludwig’s fist clenched so hard that the stopwatch broke. Dammit, now he has to start the experiment all over again.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Remember your past life - Prince! Harry Hook x Chosen knight! Reader - part 14 - the King, the past, the future

thank you @musicarose​ for commissioning 8 MORE PARTS OF THIS STORY!

=

You remembered the shrine you woke up in, a voice calling out to you, calling for you to wake up. You now recognized that voice as harry, but it must have been the version in the picture, and the one you saw the night before you traveled to the plateau.

Everything was piling up, and there seemed to be only one answer…but it was impossible.

So you looked for the old man, he had always had an odd knowledge of Saorsa and could be of use to you.

“(y/n)? where are yeh goin’?” you turned to Harry, unclipping the tablet and opening it to the photo, and shoving it in his face.

“wha-….is-is tha’ us? But I've-you, how?” you just shook your head, motioning for him to follow you, you rushed off, first looking for the old man in his cottage in the glades behind the mountain.

“(y/n) wait up!” harry called after you, his chest was tight, seeing that photo brought an odd feeling to him, he hated it.

Something was missing, and now the pieces were falling in place.

=

You huffed, the old man wasn’t here, and there was nothing truly helpful in his journal. “(y/n) wha’ the hell is goin’ on?!” harry panted, finally catching up with you. “wha’ was with tha’ picture and why were we in it? Why did we look like tha’? I've never worn those-“ you silenced him, shaking your head.

“I’ll explain later” you muttered, running back out of the cottage and heading towards the temple of time.

You didn’t bother to go through the front doors, climbing through one of the holes in the side and looking around.

You locked eyes with the tall goddess statue, sighing as harry landed next to you, stumbling as he stood up.

“looking for answers young ones?” you looked up, squinting as you looked up at the old man, he was on the roof and…was he glowing? “come up here! I'll reveal all” he turned and walked off.

You rushed out, harry close behind, finding a ladder you quickly climbed it and looked around as you reached the top, you saw the old man in the destroyed bell tower, and you were right, he was glowing.

You hopped over a gap in the ceiling, looking behind you and holding out your hand for Harry, he grabbed your hand and carefully jumped over the gap, continuing to grip your hand as you came closer to the old man.

“is he glowin’ or is it jus’ me” he whispered to you, a tremor in his voice. You nodded, and Harry sighed in relief. “okay, then im not goin’ crazy”

You climbed the last set of rocks blocking you from the old man, standing tall in front of him, blocking harry slightly from him.

The old man laughed, a proud smile on his face “well done there young ones, now then….the time has come to show you who I truly am”

You and Harry glanced at each other, the old man was acting if he had known you two for years, staring at harry was if he was a lost treasure, the old man spoke again.

“I was king Killian Jones….the last ruler of Saorsa…the kingdom which no longer exists” A bright flash of blue blinded you, you quickly shielded your eyes, slowly lowering your hand as the light died down. You blinked the spots away, hearing Harry gasp and grabbing onto your jacket, you looked, eyes widening as the old man no longer stood before you.

Now there stood a middle aged man, his greying hair now a striking black, icy ocean blue eyes staring back at you, the old rags he was wearing replaced by flowing black coat, a red vest, shining black boots, a silver crown on his head....and a hook where his left hand should be.

“The Dark one was merciless... It devastated everything in its path, 500 years ago. It was then that my life was taken away from me. And since that time, here I have remained in spirit form. Your memory was still faint when I first met you (y/n), so I did not wish to overwhelm you with all this information. So rather than that, I thought it best to assume a temporary form. Forgive me. I think you are now ready. Ready to hear what happened 500 years ago. I think it would be best for you two to sit down”

You and Harry glanced at each other again, slowly sitting down on the floor, hands intertwined tightly. Killian nodded, turning to gaze at the castle, the dark energy still swirling around it. “to know the dark ones true form, one must know the story from millennia ago. The demon king was born long ago, but his transformation into malice has created the horrors you see know” he gestured to the castle, the black and red energy pulsating around it.

“stories of the dark one were passed from generation to generation in the form of legends and fairy tales. But there was also...a prophecy. "The signs of a resurrection of the dark one are clear. And the power to oppose it lies dormant beneath the ground."

a memory flashed through your mind, a slightly younger you watching as Sheikah and Saoran’s moved about, wielding mining materials.  you shook the memory away, continuing to listen to the kings story. "We also found the Guardians, an army of mechanical soldiers who fought autonomously. This coincided with ancient legends, oft-repeated throughout our land." He gestured to the decayed remains of the guardians, resting along the walls of the temple.

"We also learned of a prince with a sacred power and his appointed knight, chosen by the sword that seals the darkness. It was they who sealed dark one away using the power of these ancient relics. Five hundred years ago, there was a prince set to inherit a sacred power, and a skilled knight at his side." Harry winced as a flash of somebody, you, kneeling in front of him came to his mind, you glanced to him and squeezed his hand, he sighed and squeezed back. Killian glanced to you both, smiling slightly.

"It was clear that we must follow our ancestors' path. We selected four skilled individuals from across Saorsa and tasked them with the duty of piloting the Divine Beasts. With the prince as their commander, we dubbed these pilots Champions—a name that would solidify their unique bond." The shadows of the champions flew across your eyes, you felt like you knew them.

"The prince, his appointed knight, and the rest of the Champions were on the brink of sealing away the dark one... But nay... he was cunning, and he responded with a plan beyond our imagining. He appeared from deep below my Castle, seized control of the Guardians and the Divine Beasts, and turned them against us." Screams echoed in your minds, Harry biting the inside of his lip to stop himself from kneeling over from how loud they were. You took a deep breath, rolling your shoulders as you forced down the noise.

"The champions lost their lives. Those residing in the castle as well. The appointed knight, gravely wounded, collapsed while defending the prince... And thus, the kingdom of Saorsa was devastated absolutely by the dark one. However... The prince survived...to face the dark one alone." The king turned away from the window, gazing into Harry's eyes…that matched his own. "That prince was my own son... My only son…Harry.”

You and Harry looked to each other, piece by piece, the flashes of memory like dreams, the blackouts, the echo's of voices. “And the courageous knight who protected him right up to the very end... That knight was none other than you, (y/n). You fought valiantly when your fate took an unfortunate turn. And then, you were taken to the Shrine of Resurrection. Here you now stand revitalized, 500 years later."

The puzzle was coming together.

"The words of guidance you have been hearing since your awakening are from prince Harry himself. Even now, as he works to restrain the dark one from within the Castle, as he calls out for your help. However, my son's power will soon be exhausted. Once that happens, the dark one will freely regenerate himself and nothing will stop him from consuming our land.”

You furrowed your brows, standing up slowly “but if Harry’s in there…” you pointed at the castle, before pointing back at your Harry, who was looking down at the ground in shock “how is he…right here?”

“I am not sure” Killian spoke softly “I believe his soul may have split at some point in the last 500 years, reincarnating into who he is today, without his magic, while my son still resides in the castle”

“so i’m” harry stood slowly, stumbling slightly as he did so, you reached out for him, taking his shoulder and letting him lean on you “im yer son, but….a reincarnated version of ‘im?”

“yes, that would be the basics, and (y/n) is the same knight from 500 years ago, she simply never aged within the shrine” so…you were a knight…whom, 500 years ago, was the personal knight of Harry…who was a prince…this was a lot to take in.

“I might sound crazy but” Harry took a shaky breath, turning to face you “it makes sense, all those weird-ass memory like dreams, the headaches whenever we saw something from back then, my freak out when I saw the shrine? It all goes together”

You nodded “I agree” Harry wound his arm tightly around you, hugging you into his side.

“(y/n)…I have no right to ask this of you….but I am powerless here…” Killian looked into your eyes, defeat clear in his ocean blue eyes. “you must save him…my son” he locked eyes with Harry, the spirit king feeling a burning in his chest and he looked away, eyes down-turned “…and do whatever it takes to annihilate the dark one” he sighed, turning to look out on the lands. “somehow, the dark one was maintained control over the divine beasts, as well as those Guardians swarming around the Castle. I believe it would be quite reckless for you to head directly to the castle at this point. I suggest...that you make your way east, out to one of the villages in the wilderness." You separated from Harry, following the king's hand, which was pointing out from beyond the spilt mountains.

"Follow the road out to storybrooke Village. There you will find the elder, Regina. She will tell you more about the path that lies ahead. Consult the map on your Sheikah Slate for the precise location of the Village. Make your way past the twin summits of the Dueling Peaks. From there, follow the road as it proceeds north..." He lowered his hand, turning to you and smiling. “I believe that is all I can tell you, now it's up to you if you wish to take on this task, as it is a heavy one, and as you are now no longer the knight that I knew, you have no personal reasons to do this, but please…save Saorsa…save my son” Killian disappeared in a flash of blue flames.

You stood there for a moment, looking out to the castle, a small light shining from the highest point. “ugg” you spun around, watching as Harry collapsed to the ground, holding his head, you slid down next to him, wrapping your arms around him, gasping lightly as he sobbed, tears dripping from his chin and onto the dusty floor of the bell tower.

“Harry” you whispered, running a hand through his hair “are you-no stupid question, what's wrong?”

“I hate that it all makes sense” he panted, turning and burying his head into your shoulder “I hate that what he said makes sense!”

You nodded slowly “it does” you snorted “it makes a stupid amount of sense…especially since I woke up in that shrine 2 years ago” harry sniffed, turning his head slightly to look at you, a curious look in his eyes.

“yeh did?” he sniffed, flinching slightly as you brushed away a tear.

“yeah, I woke up alone, in a glowing room…and I heard a voice…your voice, telling me to wake up, and that I was needed” you sat back slightly, letting harry lean more of his body on you. “then I picked up the sheikah slate and left the shrine of resurrection, I met the old man and then….everything's a blur after that, but I felt a pull to Auradon…you must have been the pull” you brushed a lock of hair out of Harry’s eyes, smiling down at him.

Harry coughed, standing up and rubbing the back of his neck, looking to where his “father” was only moments ago “we should probably tell beasty boy and the others” he muttered, you shook your head, standing with him.

“not yet, we don’t have proof, and it could end the trip early, I need to stay longer” Harry looked down at you, furrowing his brows,

“yer….yer gonna try to save Saorsa?”

You looked back down at the ground, the king's request echoing through your mind.

‘save him…save my son’

“yes” you looked into Harry's ocean eyes, a fire set in your soul “I will save Saorsa, no matter what it takes”

---end of part 14--

taglist (srry for not tagging yall the last couple parts!)

@the-walking-daryl​

@dpaccione​

@redryderdesigns​

@forever1313​

@itsmysticalmystery​

@adamsbubblegumbitch​

permtaglist

@queer-cosette​

@lunanight2012​

@sephiralorange​

@daughter-of-the-stars11​

@amorathegamingkitsune​

@random-thoughts-003​

[lykoi]

4, 6, & 32 :) for the spooky asks

ilu mkn~4) Do you believe in ghosts?    I do~ My mom used to tell me about the old house her grandmother lived in that was haunted. Her grandma would wake up often to see a little girl in white at the foot of her bed, and she told my mom about this certain part of the room where a ghost would smack things out of your hand - my mom saw her lift up a tea saucer and it zipped out of her hand and smashed against the wall. I haven’t had a lot of ghost dealings myself, but I do believe in them.6) Do you have a Deja Vu story?    I don’t have a Deja Vu story, but I do get it A LOT. I’ve tried to reason with myself that it’s just that I tend to do a lot of the same things in the same places, but I’ll remember phrases as I’m saying or typing them that I’d never have had a reason to say before, and sometimes I get it really strongly in situations I’ve never been in. (A long time ago I got really intense deja vu during my first and only ever Ju-Jitsu tournament I participated in.)32) Weirdest Coincidence?    I think the weirdest coincidences of my life have nothing spooky about them. XD Xae’s parents and mine are like… weird mirror-verse versions of each other. THEY HAVE A REALLY STUPID AMOUNT IN COMMON and our moms do the same really weird and specific mom dances. I also don’t know if this counts as a coincidence, but Xae saw some of my art WAY WAAAAY before we ever met, even though I barely ever posted art anywhere, because I was one of the only people posting Tamora Pierce stuff at the time XD;;;   

[kittymaverick]

If anyone needs them, here's the transcribed version of the entire bloopers

Tunon: The chaos you’ve sown everywhere is unacceptable. You cast yourself so far outside the established order, and I [Record scratch] I can’t—I just CAN’T EVEN DEAL WITH IT.

Sound cut: *Beep beep*

Barik: I’m a weapon bond to you only by duty. No freaky deaky.

*Beep beep*

Lantry: Point taken. I will make no note on the subject for the time being, except for what happened to my accent. [Cough]

*Beep beep*

Eb: The Archon’s more fragile than I susspe— speh, speh speh speh.

*Beep beep*

Graven Ashe: [Maniacal cackle] Oh you putting big words out there!

*Beep beep*

Barik: [Voice cracking from desperation] I would be out of this armor if I could do this!

*Beep beep*

Nerat: Ever the loyalist. Prepare yourself for a second cage, Barik the Di— Barik of the Dithfavored. Phlaffuring Fuckertash!

*Beep beep*

Barik: Get up, girl! [Sobbing] He was… the most human… of all of us— Spock!

*Beep beep*

Eb: Considering all the things that don’t think to bother you the slightest, I’m not gonna lie, I kinda like getting o— I’m kin— I— Mm— [To the side] hmph! Reading.

*Beep beep*

Verse: The last thing I need or want is a hug from the shambling junk keep— Junk huuuuuurrrrgggghhhhhhh. [Disappears off screen] Junk, heap. Junk heap, okay.

*Beep beep*

Nerat: We will have your bones fashioned into a sceptre, you skin knotted into a belt, and your tongue fed to crav—feh—heh— I’m good with the words speaking.

*Beep beep*

Sirin: Fatebinder! It is always such a pleasure to speak with you. [To voice director] Do I sound sarcastic? [Laughs]

*Beep beep*

Nerat: Good ear, young fatebinder! When the Vendrini guar— Vendrinen guard, VenDRIEN gua— Vendrien—fuck my life!

*Beep beep*

Tunon: The court may never recover from this blow, but at least I can seek some final satisfaction out of you, and NOW I understand the line better!

*Beep beep*

Sirin: Goodbye, Fatebinder. [Snaps fingers] I, AM, OUTTIE.

*Beep beep*

Eb: The band is too small to be a serious threat to the Dissfavored or the Chorus— [chuckles]

Valerie Arem: Darn it! The Dithfavored! [Still laughing] Can, can we ju… it’s like a Pinky and the Brain line at this point for me! [Inhales, resets.]Urgh!

*Beep beep*

Verse: Classic example of the Overlord’s devastation, like a battering lamb that e— lamb? A battering lamb.

[Voice Director: I was just kinda thinking about, you know, deep fry— (???)]

Allegra Clark: Can you imagine instead of a battering ram, an actual battering lamb. Like a MEEEHH, bloop!

*Beep beep*

Eb: Now that I stand at the top, the only chant I will start is a chant of disarmament. I will not throw them into the charnel pit.

Valerie Arem: Oh! I— I s— totally faked it on charnel I was so glad I chased that I had no idea if that was how it was pronounced. [Laughs] Oh happiness! ^_^

*Beep beep*

Lantry: I think she has great potential. A dangerous amount of potential, to be blunt. The Scarlet Furries— Ha! Furies! Sorry! I’ve been at a convention.

*Beep beep*

Killsy: Thought would stalk small pack of sages near den place call Burning Library. But Sages b—[Stumbles on next syllable] fuck. Ahem.

*Beep beep*

Ashe: Perhaps another catastrophe that will punish our foes for hiding behind their [sudden change of tone] walls? [Cackles] I get to the—

[breaks character and laughs]

Kirk Thornton: I saw the question mark way to late! [Still laughing]

*Beep beep*

Barik: The Adjudicator certainly taught you everything he knows about being a inedebedeburdeBerDURpassthehand!

*Beep beep*

Lantry: What’s that, you say? Flocks of nubile lasses with an interest in old man who knows history? You need a definitive trectatus?— tracTAtus! Dammit! [inhales angrily] Urgh.

*Beep beep*

Sirin: You can’t be serious, Fatebinder. Don’t ask me to do this. [Prolonged gasp as Voice Director explains what is about to happen.] AURGH…. WHAT THE FUCK, MAN? This shit just got real.

*Beep beep*

Mark: Won’t have much of anything left once the Adj—Adjfucker— Shit! [Awkward tittering] One more time.

*Beep beep*

Lantry: Sustaining it, and if enough people fear it, even growing a beh- ahahoho, poo.

*Beep beep*

Nerat: You have exhausted your usefulness, and we will delight in tattooing our sigil on your fla— [garbled syllables] ong nyour nya nyer.

*Beep beep*

Barik: And the strength of our legion, is in— [Bumping sound] me hitting the mic stand, boomshakalaka.

*Beep beep*

Verse: You piece of shit! Do you know how hard I’ve work to sta—[strangled] uuuuaaaaarrrrrrggghhhhh. [Disappears off screen again.]

*Beep beep*

Lantry: Scholars hypothesize the Scourges are born of magic. The Oldwalls and their— oo, shit. Crech? Creché? [Voice Direction corrects.] Crèche? Crèche. Somebody’s gone to school… it wasn’t the actor.

*Beep beep*

Nerat: Graven Ashe and Tunon have allied against us! You conspire to rob of— duh pfft pfffft pffftttt… to man— amange you! That’s— [sputtering, angry and frustrated] ERGH!

*Beep beep*

Graven Ashe: [Sound of a grizzly bulldog shaking off water?] Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreh…Heh.

*Beep beep*

Nerat: That simpleton Ashe is no doubt sobbing in his porridge over the [sudden realization of self incrimination] soldiers we killed— fuck!

*Beep beep*

Tunon: Either the Archon of shadows has lost his once indomitable pow— prowers, in combact, eh dep…[breaks character]

Ray Chase: Even the typo, ah, make sense. Comapt!

*Beep beep*

Verse: The most we do for each other is try not to get the other one killed, which is more than you can say for morse— urgh, my gawd. [Slurring, then] RA GA GYA GYA GYA- okay.

*Beep beep*

Tunon: Master, if you’ll join me upstairs. [Blushing] I will pledge fealty to you in the lawful manner.

Ray Chase: I do not want to know what THAT is. [Everyone laughs]

*Beep beep*

Graven Ashe: Would Kyros’ mighty spymaster please enlighten this gathering of allies with some scrap of stratIA—GLURERrrrrrr!

*Beep beep*

Nerat: We are legion, and you cannot stand against [voice cracks] us all. That was a stumble, fuck.

*Beep beep*

Eb, or rather Valerie Arem: Geez god fuck I can’t say any of that!

*Beep beep*

Lantry: I don’t imagine Kyros leaves anything to mere confidence coincidence in-conscious and all the other words I thought was. [Checks.] Coincidence.

*Beep beep*

Sirin: Burgh! [Throttling] Ergh! Wow! Hey, I got… bronchitis, hey!

*Beep beep*

Graven Ashe: So I will start protecting the peers— petitia—

*Beep beep*

Lantry: General Grumps is the wiser choice. It’s patently obvious which Archon he is truly loyal to— well derp, poopy head.

*Beep beep*

Verse: Welcome back, ass [Also gets bronchitis] hole. Ergh! Ass HOLE, like HOLler.

*Beep beep*

Eb: Perhaps now is a fine time to test the reach of your Edict—s. Oh, Edict- Eh huh, uh huh…

*Beep beep*

Tunon: I once thought that Kyros was the sole Overlord. The notion of rising to her eshe— eke— ektelon…[resigned inhale]

*Beep beep*

Xander Mobus: “Fatebinder of reeking discharge”? We’re going right to the fart jokes!

*Beep beep*

Nerat: [Mockinglyl] Fatebinder of reeking discharge.

*Beep beep*

*Fart noise and effect*

*Beep beep*

Verse: Phew! I can spell you— spell. [Elatedly] I can spell!

*Beep beep*

Mark?(Nope! IT'S NERAT!): You’re gonna have to kill ALL of us, ‘cause you’re my number one guy… Sorry, full jack.

*Beep beep*

Verse: Of all my days running with the Chorus, I think I enjoyed Ass gang the most.

Allegra Clark: I’d wanna be in Ass gang! That sounds great!