#I joked about this in the tags of that gifset I made but I needed 2 make it a reality

[pondslime]

current location now that my fixation on this goofy movie is ramping up again:

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

thoughts on bangelus?

Love it!! Iconic!! Showstopping!!

The Angelus arc is literally the thing that made me actually like BTVS! I was watching it with a fair amount of disinterest as just a thing to half pay attention to in the background. The emotional fraughtness and tragedy goes so hard!

I used to honestly not give a shit about Bangel beyond incidentally how it matters to Buffy. but also idk something has been Happening to me in the last six months and I have been like… clicking through the Bangel tag every once in awhile to look at gifsets lol

I do think Bangel only works with Bangelus on the other side of it though. My general BTVS soapbox is that, first of all, the way they handle souls and vampires is fucking stupid and wildly inconsistent. They just keep breaking their own worldbuilding. But beyond that, that the Angelus arc should’ve frankly culminated in the acknowledgment that like Angel was the blip, the anomaly, and Angelus was the real person. That’s who he’s been for fucking centuries but also on top of that, it more closely aligns with who we see him to be as a human. He has always been a piece of shit awful person and he needs to fucking confront it! Just because he got briefly cursed into developing the pretenses of a moral compass and a shred of empathy it doesn’t mean that actually changed who he is

If we ever wanted to redeem him legit, I think he needed to work his way up from the Angelus persona, even if the culmination of that is simply for him to eventually choose to stay Angel

Anyway the one episode where the ghosts of a teacher and student couple, who died by murder suicide, possess them is honestly one of my favorites. I like Bangel in general more where there’s more acknowledgement of its unsavory elements. But then there’s the bit right afterwards that I really love where, it’s mostly played as a joke, but Angelus, having come back to himself, is like rinsing his mouth out and visibly really bothered by the whole thing. It’s a good microcosm of his reaction to his history with Buffy while-being-Angel. I really like the dynamic where he hates Buffy specifically because she had the audacity to infect him with feelings. That his vindictiveness towards her is a reflection of his disgust for that softer, weaker version of himself. But then he also looks back at it sometimes with a sort of revolted longing because… it was kind of nice to be loved

I like the idea of Angelus as someone who was terrible to begin with! Who then used the excuse of vampirism to become an incredibly prolific serial killer. It isn’t the lack of a soul that made him horrific, or that his demon (stupid worldbuilding!!!) was somehow just exponentially worse than the demons other vampires get. It’s a product of who he was as a human, the values Darla instilled in him as his maker, and then the power and the ability to act with a complete lack of inhibition or consequences that becoming a supernatural creature allowed him. And being forced to think outside of that perspective and to remember that seems to be incredibly disruptive for him

The Judge was one of the weakest Big Bads, but conceptually, I think it’s really interesting that Angelus is literally just self destructing the minute he’s back to his evil self. It’s played off a little as like “he’s evil! of course he wants to end the world” but that hasn’t... ever been his modus operandi? He’s centuries old. If killing himself or ending the world was a high priority I do not think he would’ve made it that long!

Anyway, as for Buffy’s side, I find her turmoil SO SAD but also really compelling. SMG’s acting is so fucking gutting. And the hardening she goes through by the end of the arc is really fun. I would love a hypothetical scenario where Angelus recedes to minor antagonist status or flees for whatever reason. And she just has to like… sit with that emotionally. (That being said I think the sending Angel to hell arc and getting him back from hell arc are really fun so idk how I’d reconcile that but the question was about Bangelus specifically so we don’t have to figure that out rn)

The obvious metaphor the show was going for of like the teen experience of finding out that the person you slept with is terrible, after having been so vulnerable with them, is one that works for me! But I also like how the dynamic literalizes the compartmentalization of loving someone who’s cruel and hurtful. Of not being able to reconcile that they can be capable of such different behavior, but also the undercurrent that it’s maybe not so different after all. Like the Bangel situation is creepy, has always been creepy, though it’s not entirely framed that way. And I really like that Drusilla’s introduction, and the backstory of how Angelus stalked and tormented her, and then the entire Angelus arc where he stalks and torments Buffy, do have the undertones of Angel’s behavior when he’s first introduced and how his relationship with Buffy develops. He was still a fucking stalker! Even if he was a somewhat nicer one lol. He was still playing mind games even if it wasn’t full on psychological warfare. And then there’s obviously how young Buffy was. Like even at his fucking best that man is still a predator lol and lmao

[buttercuparry]

It is intentional that the theater audience and the iwtv show audience should blur into one and the same. I am sure this has already been talked about but still I needed to get this out there.

We have Lestat on stage, captivating the audience...a very white audience. We have them laugh along with his jokes. We have him humiliating some homophobic soldiers (how many times have we talked about white queers on tumblr?) . We have him saying that he a vampire, a white vampire from Europe, was being hunted by a black man from New Orleans and we have the audience sympathizing with him. And all of it is so uncannily similar to what I see in the fandom.

I am not looking to have a fight, I sincerely am not but sometimes there are certain things that make me wobble. For example in some recent gifsets I have seen people saying "oh this is why we can't hate lestat and Armand completely...Louis is as bad as them". This is in regards to people saying that "Louis baby trapped his boyfriends". And while there certainly is something to say about Louis and his abuse of Claudia, I cannot fathom using a language where Louis is made to share the burden of abuse in his relationships with men like Lestat and Armand.

Someone in the tags said that what is haunting in this recent episode is the absolute lack of metaphors- of subtlety. Claudia/Madeline and Louis are set up on a trial, where they cannot say anything in their defense. It is a botched trial , in front of an uncaring audience who are just watching a play. When it comes the time to burn the women, Santiago says that what the audience are about to witness is fake...but it is not fake, is it? These are companions being burnt alive. Daughter and fledgling are being burnt alive. It is the victim being burnt alive. It is not fake and yet the audience would cheer on the fate.

On tumblr the fandom would watch the show and then they would make jokes about Louis baby trapping Lestat- I am sure it is not meant in bad faith and is just a little joke, but still Louis and Claudia the characters can never plead with us, can never break the fourth wall and tell us whatever they want to say to us. Are they not standing on trial in the gifsets? Are we not the audience laughing and tagging the gifsets of Claudia/Daniel parallels with "Louis baby trapping his boyfriends". Manipulating his boyfriends? These two men- Lestat and Armand, who abused Louis?

Are we not then sitting in the theater laughing at the sham of a trial? Are we not stoning the victims?

[matan4il]

Hi, I’ve seen some gifs of that Thai show, but are those two actors together in real life too?

Hi lovely Nonnie!

Oh wow, I did not expect an ask about Kinnporsche The Series / Mileapo, but I probably should have since I went off a bit in the tags of that gifset reblog, didn't I? XD Please never take me too seriously whenever I claim two specific individuals have invented love, I'm just joking around. Unless I'm talking about David and Jonathan, because they totally did. ;p

But if I'm to try and answer seriously, I would say that officially, the last time either Mile or Apo have addressed the issue of their romantic status, they both said they're single (Mile in Aug 2022, Apo in July 2021 if I'm not mistaken). Of course, that's also the response I would expect from them if they were together. Because just like there are opposite sex couples who meet on the sets of movies and TV shows, and fall in love or just have an affair, there are same sex couples who go through the same thing. The difference is that society (and the entertainment business even more so) is still so homophobic, that these same sex couples often can't come out. I mean, if opposite sex couples sometimes feel they need to keep it to themselves, and we only find out about their romances decades later, like in the case of Jane Seymour and Christopher Reeve (if we find out about them at all), then imagine how much harder it is for same sex couples who fall in love as co-stars... (or even when there's a same sex celebrity couple, period)

Other than Mile, Apo and the people they trust, no one really knows if Mileapo actually are a couple and have to be closeted, or if they're just truly the best of friends who bonded so much as co-stars on the set of KPTS that their behavior is hard to distinguish from the way lovers act towards each other. We also have to take into account that they're from Thailand, and the cultural norms for how men are allowed to interact can be very different. Especially when we remember that they starred in a BL (gay themed show) together, and the norm for that is heavy fan service. I AM convinced that even then, their bond runs deeper than fan service, especially since the original production of KPTS was canceled, and the production company that was set up instead explicitly said it would not require fan service. Plus, this company was co-founded by Mile to save KPTS and give Apo his second chance to shine as an actor, after he had been previously bullied by homophobes into leaving the acting world. So yeah, I have every reason to believe their connection is real.

And the fact that this is a part of their unhinged story (that they met briefly as models 7 years before they auditioned for KPTS, that they obviously thought the other one is an attractive man and remembered each other all of these years, that Mile watched Apo's shows, that they re-connected at the auditions and seem to have been inseparable since, for over 2.5 years now, that they fought together for KPTS to be made and then gave us on screen an astounding love story, that they chose to go on working together on their next projects, including the upcoming queer film Man Suang, and continue to hang out even outside of their busy schedule together) brings us to what is most meaningful to me about them. Whether their bond is romantic or platonic, it's clearly so deep that I wouldn't hesitate to call them soulmates. They love and care for each other, support one another, and I think they healed each other in ways that make me feel soft and happy to know that such love exists in the world. So I'm going to continue rooting for them, and possibly joke about it like I know that they're a couple, because in a very profound sense of the word, even if it's not romantic, they are.

This was probably way too long, my apologies. Okay, have a Mileapo being in sync gif just to make it a bit better...

Have a good day! As always, my ask tag. xoxox

[befuddledcinnamonroll]

✨2023: A Summary✨

Post your most popular and/or favourite edit/gifset/analysis for each month (it’s okay to skip months!)

I was tagged by @telomeke (thanks! 😘)

Also appreciation that this post helped me finally take the time to figure out how to find my blog archive, lol.

January-June 2023

No posts! I was still in my lurker phase. Somehow I thought I had started earlier, but it's just been 6 months! That is insane to me. It has felt so much longer. Timey whimey and all that. Clearly I have made up for lost time. Now I cannot not talk about stuff on here.

July 2023

most popular - A whole 19 notes! When I was still totally on board for Be Mine Superstar. That did not last.

favorite - My very first post, in defense of Tai in La Pluie. Not so much because of the content, but it was the moment I just had to say something, and I'm so glad I did. Once you break the ice, it's so natural to keep going.

August 2023

most popular - My first genuinely popular post, and still my most popular post, where I joke about gay mafia. I start to get an idea of what makes y'all tick. It still gets likes now. I find that hilarious.

favorite - I think this one, on Hidden Agenda. It was the first time I started to genuinely dip into analysis, and I think I was on to something, considering what we learn about Zo and his mom's relationship!

September 2023

most popular - My cuddling friends agenda is supported!

favorite - I am deep in my Papang love. And yes, he is absolutely delicious, but is also such an amazing actor, and needs to be a goddamn lead already. Closely followed by my Bosston appreciation post, he rocked my socks in Be Mine.

October 2023

most popular - We were all losing our minds over Kiseki, clearly. Normally my recaps aren't that far-reaching, but this one apparently hit right at the high point of Chen Yi/Ai Di fever.

favorite - My proposal for GMMTV, inspired by @respectthepetty's gym bros post. YinWar have come through for me, which means that Petty deserves some goddamn Gym Bros already!!

November 2023

most popular - I love that this one was popular, because I still laugh at Meen's perfect "howwwww" face.

favorite - My thoughts on Shadow and forgiveness. As someone who's had family harmed by a religious figure, and as someone who worked in human services for a while, I have a lot of feelings about how often forgiveness is used as a cudgel against victims. And I got a private message from someone that my post actually helped them with how they were feeling after the episode. Which means so very much. And I reassert - it's up to you and no one else if you forgive, and it's ok if you decide you never will.

December 2023

most popular - Another one I'm so pleased was popular, because Saint deserves it. Also I like ranting about how much I like people or things. So much more fun than ranting about what I hate.

favorite - my love letter to you all. And I mean it!

I think anyone else I would tag has already been covered by @telomeke, but if we missed anyone, feel free to tag yourself!

Also, if you've been hesitating to stop lurking and start posting, just do it! The rewards are plentiful. This is a great corner of tumblr. We are nice people. You'll be ok.

[peachysunrize]

I really really want you to know that I don't meant it. This is my second page that I made ages ago and you can block it too. I just don't want you to think that I did that on purpose I was planning to tag you in the morning but it just slipped my mind. I'm really really sorry. And I want to tell you that I really appreciate that you and others also spend time to make gifs and share them with us. Again I'm terribly sorry. I hope you will accept my apology.

New response: I’m actually BAFFLED by how petty this response of yours under your post is

“These gifs are horrible but nobody will be mad” idk maybe I have the fucking right to be mad???? 8 gifs isn’t a joke, but you took them and gave no credits just to say no one will be mad as if I don’t have the right to feel that way…

Not to mention apologizing after being called out would mean nothing, but I did accept it before seeing this. From now on I will be a total bitch about my gifs.

Previous answer under the cut

Hi! I appreciate that you reached out and explained yourself, and I accept your apology but you need to understand that tagging the og creator takes a few seconds.

It’s a matter of respect. I’m new to gif making and the whole gif side of the fandom but I put so much work on my gifset and so do others!!! With taking our works (not just you others as well) you demean the hours we spend on them, making it seem so easy to make sets and color the gifs and caption them etc etc—

Moreover, it demotivates us and we have to put our watermarks on them which makes the gif look ugly and no one wants that, at least I know I don’t. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last, but this is disheartening and disrespectful.

I was trying to be kind to remain positive in the fandom But it made me sad and I won’t filter my feelings about it. It was a wrong thing to do because with every like and reblog you can see the post in your notifs. It upset me greatly because I don’t get paid for it, I don’t have a ko-fi or anything of that sort.

And I’m not going to delete the post I made because those were my true feelings. I am deeply wounded and I will not hesitate to say it.

[the-nation-of-today]

BVB-Versary

🚨WARNING: Big old sappy post ahead🚨

Exactly one year ago today, I listened to Black Veil Brides for the very first time. So now, a year on, call this a narrative about/reflection on the past year.

I’m not usually one to remember the exact date I started listening to an artist so clearly. The only reason I remember this one so vividly is because of where I physically was at that time. Every summer, my family rents out a beach house for a week and we just go and chill. While on the beach one day, I was listening to music and decided I needed something new, I was bored of what I was listening to and needed to switch it up.

Now in May of that year, I had discovered Andy Black and fell in love with the music. I knew Andy was the lead singer of BVB and that I liked his voice so it just seemed right to try out BVB. I knew they were a bit heavier than Andy's solo music, but it was worth a shot since I had been slowly dipping my feet into some heavier music (for me). If I didn't like it, oh well, it was worth a try.

They had a lot of music and I had no idea where to start, so I did what I always do when trying a new artist: I put every song into one massive playlist and just hit shuffle to start getting a taste. The first song that came on was the Re-Stitch version of Perfect Weapon, I'll always remember being taken aback by that first scream. And as I listened more, I started noting down the names of the songs I was particularly endeared to so I could put them on another playlist to focus on them. Eventually, it came to the point where I was writing down every single song that came on. I always joke that something broke in my brain that day, but really it was like something clicked. Whatever it was about this music, it resonated with me on a level that I did not expect.

After my shuffle experiment, I made it a point every day on that beach vacation to listen to one album in order each day, which worked out for the week. I started with Wretched And Divine, mostly because I noticed a lot of those songs were my favorites. Then came Vale, and TPT, and all the other albums. Needless to say, I was hooked. I spent that week consuming as much BVB content as I could find. I listened to the albums, read interviews, watched both American Satan and Paradise City, anything and everything I could find regarding this band or its members. Torch was the first song I really learned, one distinct memory I have is climbing up the beach house stairs and just repeating the chorus in my head to try and get it down and memorized.

We returned home from that vacation, and I had a new determination to learn all of the songs. I copied the lyrics of every song into a google doc, took a screenshot of my BVB playlist to mark off which songs I learned, and began studying. I started with Vale, don't remember the reason why I chose that, and I would just listen on repeat reading those lyrics over and over to drill them into my brain. Every day was BVB for me. I'd pace around my room learning lyrics, finding old videos, just consuming whatever I could. Then, as a treat for surviving a family wedding at the end of the month, I ordered what would be my first batch of BVB merch.

But this wasn't enough for me, I needed more. I turned to Tumblr (it being my main platform) and just began scrounging for content. A lot of it was older, nothing super active, so I resigned myself to just following the tags and finding content that way.

One day in November, however, I reblogged a gifset of the Wake Up MV with some insane tags that you all are probably used to from me. The next day, I got a DM from someone, the person who I reblogged the set from. They saw my tags, and decided that we were the same level of insane and wanted to talk more. We did the social niceties dance for about two hours that day, and once it clicked that we were both insane about this band, that all went out the window and we went unhinged.

This person, who if you hadn’t figured it out already is Sam aka @bornasaint. That day, I had made my first real BVB friend, someone who I could talk to about this band and it was cathartic to just be able to talk to someone who understood me. We were both newer fans, which I think helped in how quickly we bonded. That same month, I started my own BVB tumblr blog (the blog you’re reading this on now, obviously) because I knew this obsession wasn't going anywhere. Also in that month, we started the Black Veil Beloveds server, which was a test run of trying to find more active BVB fans. Obviously it worked, because the BVBeloveds are still going strong.

December of that year, Spotify Wrapped came out as always. Even though I had only started listening in August, BVB was my most played artist of the year at 25,000 minutes played. I was officially deemed as down bad by Spotify. And I was content with that, proud even.

But, soon enough, Tumblr became not enough for me. A lot of it was just old pictures, nothing super current or active. So around February/March of this year, I revamped my twitter that I had barely been using and started making headway into BVBtwt. I'll admit, I was nervous. I hadn't really been active in a fandom twitter space in a long time. But, one day a tweet came up on my timeline asking for people wanting to start a new BVB group chat. I took the plunge, and stated my interest. That group would quickly become yet another set of dearly insane friends. Even though I was a newer fan compared to many and a little bit older than the space I found myself in, I was welcomed in and felt excited to have this again. Something had sparked in me upon finding this band and I felt creatively and socially recharged.

I used to say I wish I had gotten into BVB earlier in my life to experience some of the eras of the band that I hadn't been able to due to not knowing the band existed. But now, I realize that I found them when I needed to, when it was right for me. Call it fate if you will, but I couldn't ask for better timing. This band had defined my senior year of college, so much so that I decorated my grad cap with a lyric from Torch and took them with me to graduation.

And now, one year on, I am at that same house. We rented out the same house from last year, the same one where I spent hours on the deck looking out at the ocean and listening to BVB. That one choice that I made, just to try out this band to see if I liked them, took my life in a completely new directory. A year ago, I never would’ve pictured myself going to a BVB concert and buying VIP for it, but here I am now, 48 days away from meeting them.

And now that I’ve narrated my entire journey of falling in love with this band, some thanks are in order.

First, to Sam, my dear bestie. Thank you for finding my tags amusing enough that you wanted to reach out and thank you for dealing with my insanity, from Bestie Those Are Your Tits to Biersussy and every insane inside joke in between.

To the BVBeloveds, another thank you for putting up with me and my obsession with Andy’s black button down shirts.

To that twitter GC, thank you for being welcoming, our inside jokes have changed me, I don’t know if I’d call it for the better, but they certainly have changed me.

And finally, thank you to Black Veil Brides, for making music that could resonate so deeply with your fans and for solidifying that connection throughout the years.

I promise I'm almost done rambling, but I’ll leave you all with this. My favorite song (if you couldn’t tell by the Everything about me) is Wake Up. That song struck a chord with me, particularly the line “we’ll be here when their heart stops beating”. And I think it resonated with me because that’s the power of music. Even when you are gone, that music remains, those memories remain. Music is eternal, and it changed my fucking life.

So, here’s to my one year BVB-versary, as I like to say, and here’s to many more years of insanity.

[trying-to-get-somewhere-real]

🍓 :)

honestly so glad yours was the last one of these to come in my inbox because doing it now is gonna cheer me up on yet another picard depression thursday lmao

here we go!

-- you always cheer me up just by being yourself (i know that sounds so corny but it's true!) like even when i'm not sad (cause i don't tend to be sad most of the time) and just neutrally experiencing life, your jokes and commentary on just whatever make me laugh everyday, and at this point i'm pretty sure that without them i would backslide from neutral to sad a lot of the time.

-- i'm always trying to convince people that i am chill and stoic (dear reader this is partially true, i swear! irl i am way more lowkey than on here) but am still filled with anxiety and take some things Way Too Seriously, and your uss indifference vibes have gotten me through more times than i can count at this point. you just have a very smart and healthy way of looking at things that i really need (in fandom especially but in life generally!) somehow at your very small age you are more mature than like 2/3 of the people i know period (+ easily 99% of the people i am vaguely acquainted with in fandom) 🫡

-- you're such a good friend! i'm saying this not just from personal experience but from knowing how loyal and supportive you are to all of your other friends. we are all so lucky to have you (i really hope the others know that...if not i will maybe kick their asses idk 🤨)

-- you have great taste in so many things and are also very open-minded re trying new things, so i feel like we get to have this wonderful exchange of stuff all the time...truly a testament to my love for you that i'm like "thank you for introducing me to trek" instead of "why did you ruin my life"...and you drink manhattans now! i just really enjoy how we have a lot of overlapping tastes but also a lot of different stuff to share with each other. also i get to pretend to be Young and Cool and Know Things by association. but also get to have fun meltdowns whenever i realize some major life event happened for me before you existed. 🫠 it's fun!

-- you have infectious enthusiasm for the things you love (give me all the deep-dive stream-of-consciousness nerd texts forever) and then also lend it to others for things they're already enthusiastic about to hype them up (see, e.g., incredible tags on gifsets that absolutely delight the people who made them, getting super into fiona overnight and finding interviews of her that i never had that greatly improved my life)

--cutting myself off cause this post could just go forever and i don't want to be excessively self-indulgent BUT tl:dr fandoms come and go, but if you're really lucky you might meet someone because of them who changes your life, who you assume will always be in it, and you are that for me. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💕💖

@mutuals send me a 🍓 and ill compliment u!

[littleragondin]

On Repeat Tag Game

I was tagged by @bengiyo and @troubled-mind to put my repeat playlist on Spotify on shuffle and list the first 10 songs. Thank you both! ⸜( *ˊᵕˋ* )⸝

As always it's a little bit all over the place, but here are my 10!

aeseaes - Carrion Comfort

I have liked all aeseaes songs I have heard so far. This one I heard for the first time as I was re-reading Abarat by Clive Barker, where the villain (who fascinated me as a teen) is called Christopher Carrion, and the song has been haunting me since. Also I can't resist some cannibalism imagery.

Luther Vandross - Your Secret Love

Haha okay, so maybe I listened to this one on loop while I was working on my Love in Translation's gifset. I just really, really like this song - I am a sucker for love songs, and he is so, so good at it. Plus, what a voice...

안예은 Ahn Ye Eun - 홍련 (紅蓮) HONGRYEON

Alright, I discovered Ahn Ye Eun (kinda) literally two days ago thanks to @petrichoraline and I already have three songs of hers in the on repeat (the other 2 are Trumpet Creeper and Changgwi). She has an incredible voice, her instrumentals are so rich, and I adore how she plays around with horror themes and traditional myths. I am a little obsessed. (I'd recommend going down the comms a little, someone translated the lyrics and gave a few notes)

Debout sur le zinc - La déclaration

That's my favorite song of theirs and one of my favorite love song period. It's very sweet, but my favorite is the ending verse where he says. "It's a bit of a declaration [of love] even if I know that you're not/ the remedy nor the solution, just a splint on my arm/that small thing linking us to others when we don't do well/an ultimate language of survival that put the world back on its axis" - recognizing that love won't heal him entirely but is still necessary for him to survive.

Jonathan Hultén - Where Devils Weep

I cannot for the life of me remember how I found this one, but the sorrowful music with those, in the end, hopeful lyrics have been a pick me up the past week.

Déportivo - Les Bières Aujourd'hui S'ouvrent Manuellement

Deportivo is a french rock band from my teen years, so this cover is a bit of a throwback. This is a quietly sad song about a man realizing that his long term relationship has run its course - "It will always be a mystery to me/how the body get used to it/when love dies slowly". It talk about the very mundane things (his partner turning their back at him when they go to bed, the clicking of their spoon the only sound between them as they dine) that made him realize they are not in love anymore.

The Real Zebos – Puttin' On the Ritz

Tons of covers of this song exist (I do love Taco's version from like 1982 I think). This one came up in the spotify recs and it clicked for me. Love the singer's voice, and it feels fresh without losing it's original vibe.

Simon & Garfunkel - America

I have slowly been working my way through Simon & Garfunkel's discography over the last few months -because all their songs I grew up with I love. But since I discovered this one, it's a go to when I feel down and I need something for comfort (there is something that makes me feel heard in "Katie I'm lost I said though I knew she was sleeping. I'm empty and aching and I don't know why").

เงา (SHADOW) - LAZYLOXY

Guess what show I'm excited for!!!!! Joke aside, I put Lazyloxy's opening for Rakdiao on loop for weeks when I watched that show, so the moment this came out spotify stuffed it under my nose and I really like it!

Elisabeth (2005) - Marktplatz in Wien (Milch)

Like last year, October somehow means I start putting the 2005 live recording in Vienna of Elisabeth on repeat. I love musicals, and I have a special relationship to this one (it's the musical that got me into Takarazuka and my first German musical). This song always scratches the itch perfectly so I listen to it even more than the rest of the album (all songs with Lucheni are top tiers for me)

If you feel like doing it, I will tag @petrichoraline, @sparklyeyedhimbo, @scienceoftheidiot, @howdydowdy, and @iguessitsjustme !

[braceletofteeth]

Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

I was tagged by @kissporsche 💕💕 which made me really happy because a few months ago they initiated a conversation with me and I was too much of an introvert to keep it going, so I had thought then that I had lost my chance at friendship forever 🥲

Three Ships

The (un)holy trinity: Hannigram (from Hannibal), Jongmoon (from Strangers From Hell) and VegasPete (from KinnPorsche).

First Ever Ship

It's hard to pinpoint the exact pair... Hmm... I'll tell you about the first one I remember being obsessed about, as in reading all the fics available about them-obsessed. I was eleven? Twelve? Anyway. That would be Cato and Clove, from The Hunger Games. They were not canon in the book (or the movie! They were done SO dirty in the movie!!! I CAN'T EVEN FIND A GIF OF THEM TOGETHER TO INCLUDE HERE 😤), there were just one (or two?) moments that could be interpreted like that, if you had a wild imagination 😅 Fortunately, at that time, me, and a bunch of other kids who enjoyed the tragedy of it all, read too much into it.

So, while everyone else was discussing the love triangle of the main characters or shipping themselves with Finnick Odair, we were in a dark corner crying and throwing up because of two kids who were raised to become killing machines—the star-crossed lovers from District 2, as we liked to call them.

Last Song

Keep Asking Me, by Francis Well. It has a feeling similar to Little House On The Hill, so I think of them as sisters.

Last Movie

Cherry Magic: The Movie. I had already forgotten the gifsets I had seen about it, months ago, so everything was a surprise.

[spoiler alert] My favorites scenes were the ones of Adachi and Kurosawa meeting each other's families, even though it seemed like my heart was going to jump out of my chest in both occasions 😀

Currently Reading

Making my way through the PrapaiSky tag on AO3 (meaning I'm reading literally anything and everything that sounds slightly interesting).

Currently Watching

1. GAP. I haven't watched the most recent episode yet, but it seems we're reaching the climax of the story. I'm already dreading the moment I'll have to let go of all my girls (+ Mon's step-father) :(

2. Star & Sky Series. I've finished Star in My Mind, and I'll start Sky in Your Heart (which is the part two? the spin-off?) soon (allegedly. Never trust a 'soon' coming from me).

3. TharnType. Only a few more episodes to go. Absolutely bonkers show.

4. Summer Strike. The healing type that I had been saving for when I needed it most.

5. Beyond Evil. I had been saying for a long time that I was going to rewatch BE, but never got around to do it (16 episodes! Who has the time!!). My brother was browsing Netflix looking for something for us to watch together, and suggested BE. I thought he was joking (he has already rewatched it 5 or 6 times by himself 🙃), so I agreed, also joking. Turns out, he wasn't joking 😀😀 So now we're watching it again (*in my first time, I watched it with him as well). It's been a really different experience, watching it from the perspective of someone who knows what they should be paying attention to (I wish I had forgotten the details so I could enjoy the unpredictable mystery again, but it seems I still remember most of it 😅) .

Currently Consuming

Crackers.

Currently Craving

Eight (or more) hours of sleep. No waking up because of freezing temperatures, bad dreams, or the men working on a new floor for my neighbour's house in the early hours of the morning.

... I haven't had one of those in a while 😞

Tagging

Since it's people I'd like to get to know better, I'll tag the blogs I started following more recently: @saturnskyline @leporschespam @ronandhermy @teakrush @stillqueerstillhere (it's absolutely okay to ignore this, though 😊✌)

**If there aren't 9 it's because I'm bad at math.

[thebadtimewolf]

Your tags on the reblog of my post are so spot on. Double essay power XD. Martha really did become such an echo of The Doctor, possibly more so than any other companion that we had seen thus far.

eheheeeeee my brain comes up with random essays of doctor who out of nowhere and then i look back and either be like huh. Or huh? and that makes all the difference. now if i can stop doing this under other ppl's gifsets especially gifset ppl's blogs that gives off a certain vibe of [lets hope this doesnt sound like they stumbled in a roundabout racism rodeo with a repeated history of doing so and this was just a fluke]

to think, martha may have not been doctorified had the bbc writers had their way and gotten joke wheelhouse* to write and guest star... [shivers]

am i gonna use this to obsess the fact that both tentoo and dhawan!doctor both said "i am the doctor" despite both never measuring up to the original but rather the perception of the companion's take of the doctor with the twist of 'maybe now i will be accepted. maybe now i measure up' and doing the extremist thing the doctor themselves abhor doing while they do it with manic glee and then are crushed when the dr and companion dont see them that way? yes.

(Near the end to Master!Doctor) YASMIN: You're not the Doctor. You'll never be the Doctor.

MASTER: You going to let him do this to me, Yaz? Huh? To your Doctor?

YASMIN: You're not my Doctor! Because you know the greatest strength my Doctor has? She's spent her life gathering friends. She can't help it. And she is loved, because she taught us to never give up, even if someone steals your very existence.

versus

(about tentoo) ROSE: But he's not you.

[tenth doctor and doctordonna and tentoo jumping hoops to get her to like tentoo]

NEW DOCTOR: I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart.

ROSE: Which means?

NEW DOCTOR: I'm part human. Specifically, the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. [everybody still trying to convince her]

ROSE: But, it's still not right, because the Doctor's still you. [in referring to tenth dr]

And the

THIRTEENTH DOCTOR: You lost. You gambled and you lost. And now your body's failing because of what you put it through.

MASTER: Maybe. But if I can't be the Doctor, neither can you.

versus

TENTH DOCTOR: But you've got to. Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own.

NEW DOCTOR [TenToo]: You made me.

DOCTOR: Exactly. You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge. Remind you of someone?

its all about the:

YASMIN: If you think I am going to let you...

MASTER!DOCTOR: I am the Doctor now! I am the Doctor! (in pain) You should have shot me when you had the chance. I need clothes. Try to escape, or touch anything, and I'll kill you.

that came from:

DONNA: Just, just wait for the Doctor.

NEW DOCTOR [TenToo]: I am the Doctor. Maximising Dalekanium power feeds. Blasting them back! Fulfilling the prophecy.

its about the companions that retain sense of self that lean heavy on traveling with the doctor that become doctorified but the ones that became an extension of the doctor are ostracized as a legitimate doctor regeneration by the doctor and companion themselves (tentoo and master!doctor)

because if theres an echo of the dr, rest assure the dr will avoid them [stares at the lack of tenth doctor adventures with martha audios while it feels like we gonna get ooh damn this shit is dry as hell bland cough cough dusty™️ tenrose audio season 3 and weirdly strong sexual tension tendonna season 4 audio]

its about the more you are like the dr the longer the dr never visits you its about the dr STILL HAVING MARTHAS PHONE DESPITE ALSO HAVING A SMARTPHONE ON THE SIDE

its about we aint never gonna see tentoo again at least dhawan!doctor acted so much like every single tentoo fanfic where tentoo is evil (ITS SO MANY ITS SO MANYYY LIKE SO MANY OF THEM AND THEY SQUEEZED AS MUCH AS THEY COULD IN POTD and dhawan ate it up and served it spicy hot and ready fresh out of oven on a clean plate steaming up glasses with a fresh cold drink we love our two 14s dhawan and tennant) that it brought david as the new 14th doctor

sidebar: dhawan and tennant got in marvel w characters in the same damn city. THEY ALMOST MET AGAIN one day. one day theyll meet and either fuck or kill each other and a coin flip on whether thats psychological or physical in doing so

*terf jk rowling but i misspelled because ���🏾em🖕🏾

[schnaf]

@loveyouhomex tagged me, thank you ♥

1. Why did you choose your url?

short version: i used it on another site before. long version: one time, when i was really bored at school, i doodled some animals and everything felt normal, but then i realized the animal i doodled wasn't a regular animal but a sheep - snail hybrid - a schnaf in german, if you will. a few days later, i decided to make a new account on my first (and up to that point only) fanfic site because after one year, i felt like i needed a new start. but it felt rather temporary - i left the old account after not that long either and i thought i'd stay on the new account even shorter. so i just picked a random name - the animal i came up with a few days before. joke's on me, it became my identity.

2. Any side blogs?

yeah, i have a football side blog where i posted pics i took at matches, i have a side blog for a former fandom but i lost interest in it as soon as i created the side blog so... sorry, no new side blogs for fandom, i'm a one blog mess once again ♥ also several shared blogs for projects and stuff

3. How long have you been on Tumblr?

i deserve senior discount and stuff, it's been a bit over 11 years now

4. Do you have a queue tag?

i once used a word, then i used q, then i decided to just let people know EVERYTHING is on queue here. also if i'm actually online and posting... no i'm not ♥

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

a friend of mine had tumblr and she always sent me posts of cute animals and footballers and one day i was like "ah imma join the source" - again, it didn't feel like a big decision and i didn't think it'd last that long

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

it's a screenshot from this video

gaon was insane for this. that's all.

7. Why did you choose your header?

it's from the hair cut mv and it's just such a peak scene....... THE VIBES THE COLORS the two pretty bois hehe. added bonus is gaon's "welcome" but well, couldn't put that into a gif.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

it's a sernando gifset 😭😭 a friend back then was like "oh there was a sernando moment right now" so i looked it up immediately and was like "you know what? imma make a gifset right away" and it still gets notes nowaday, even though it was such a short moment and rather low effort

9. How many mutuals do you have?

almost all the people i follow are mutuals, that's very nice ♥

10. How many followers do you have?

quite a bunch ♥

11. How many people do you follow?

a few less than follow me

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

have i ever not made a shit post

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

too often

14. Did you ever have a fight / argument with another blog?

👀 why would i, the most peaceful person on this webbed site, have an argument, let alone a fight, with someone on here. so yeah the answer is yes

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog posts’?

the good old "reblog this or you're a shitty person" stuff sucked, but it almost died out? it got a little revival through the polls tho. currently, there are those instructions how to be a good blogger and how to avoid looking like a bot and it's like reblog stuff!!!! and oof. i mean it's valid but it's pretty annoying. also i don't want people to reblog stuff bcs they feel like they have to - they should do it on their own will. for example, sometimes, i feel like network people only reblog each others post and compliment each other because they have to (or feel like they have to) and oof that's pretty annoying. but 🐸☕

16. Do you like tag games?

it may not look like it because it takes me such a long time to answer them, but there's a reason why i keep them in my likes and answer them even after a long time ♥ so yesss!

17. Do you like ask games?

same as above!

18. Which of your tumblr mutuals is tumblr famous?

you shouldn't be famous on tumblr

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

i heard they're all on tumblr, that's pretty embarrassing, so... no ://

20. Tags

@jcamilov06, @blacks-phoenix, @sunshine304, @ker-sunshine, @eyes-of-simha, @xjungsu, @todaviia, @manuelmueller, @chipsyio and @jorzuela - do itttt ♥

[scuddish]

Have you seen Chained yet? Eamon suffers so pretty.

i have!!! the movie itself is so disturbing but eamon does an incredible job as rabbit. i also cannot fight the fact that he looked so pretty </3 it's so hard to not stare at him LMAO. i'm seriously surprised more people don't talk about chained 2012 (despite it being triggering at some parts, but what horror movie isn't) or eamon farren, himself. he's literally a dude with so much up his sleeve... it's bonkers that he is so under the radar!

i have a gifset of chained here, and a bunch of gifs of rabbit here btw!

[thebibliosphere]

I know I posted about Goncharov and Defunctland last night, but that was an earnest desire to see this trend examined under a microscope because it’s fascinating to see it escape containment.

However, while I know most folks are just having a bit of fun with it, the number of people complaining that others are “ruining” the joke by tagging it for unreality is too damn high.

I’ve answered far too many asks in private in the last 24 hours from folks with psychosis begging me to tell them if Goncharov is real or not because they trust me, someone they don’t know beyond my medical advocacy posts, not to lie to them.

So in case you need this: No, Goncharov is not real. It’s Tumblr having a bit of fun with a made up gangster story premise from the 1970s. Most of the gifsets you are seeing are from The Godfather and some other 70s and early 80s films. The musical scores are being composed by some very talented people here on Tumblr, as is most of the art and quotes.

I’m sorry if people are telling you it is real and are refusing to reassure you when you admit it’s causing you distress. Some people are just taking things too far for the bit and aren’t acting with kindness. I hope they will reconsider.

If you were unaware that the Goncharov is causing some people some considerable distress, that’s okay. Tumblr is huge and you can’t be expected to know everything, but please do tag all your posts and reblogs with unreality to assure people that it’s part of the site-wide joke.

If you’re one of the people complaining that tagging it with unreality “ruins” the joke, please reconsider and examine why your enjoyment of people’s distress is necessary to your enjoyment of an otherwise fun and crowd sourced bit that many people are having fun with without being cruel.

Anyway, go have fun you creative little gremlins. Just do it with more kindness.

[cafecitowriter]

I posted 2,022 times in 2022

39 posts created (2%)

1,983 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wedonttradelives

@theawkwardterrier

@laviejaguardia

@doctorhelena

@captainjimothycarter

I tagged 1,015 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags

#steggy - 320 posts

#peggy carter - 79 posts

#adorable - 56 posts

#steve rogers - 54 posts

#i love this - 49 posts

#star wars - 39 posts

#lmao - 36 posts

#i love them - 34 posts

#eternals - 31 posts

#eternals spoilers - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 137 characters

#i literally had to block someone who drew aos fanart because they made may daisy and elena look as white as jemma in everything they made

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

mi pedazo de sol

Summary: Sarah Carter-Rogers tries to keep her chin up as she returns back home to celebrate her parents' 25th wedding anniversary in the wake of her own personal turmoil.

A/N: Written for Steggy Week 2022 Day 5: Domestic Bliss, featuring family in all its forms, with a focus on one of Steve and Peggy's kids in particular.

While this work is part of the Stars' Verse, this can be read as a standalone story. All you need to know it's an alternate branch universe post-Endgame where Steve and Peggy had three children: Sarah, Isabel, and Nathaniel, who all inherited some of Steve's enhancements to varying extents.

Title taken from Tacones Rojos by Sebastián Yatra. It means "my piece of sun".

Shout out to @steggyfanevents for hosting this event!

Read on AO3

Preview:

Steve walked into the bedroom after having brushed his teeth and washed his face, smiling at the sight on the bed. Peggy was dressed in one of his pyjama shirts (the worn out blue checkered one) and held a book in her hand that she was ignoring in favour of pursing her lips at an undetermined point just above their shared dresser.

“So… not a fan of Carrie?” Steve joked lightly as he approached the bed. He knew Peggy well enough to know that startling her - no matter how unwittingly - could be dangerous.

“Mm?” Peggy hummed, looking up at him before her eyes flicked to the book in her hand. “Oh, actually I’m afraid I haven’t started reading it yet.”

“That bad, huh?”

Peggy lightly smacked his chest as he settled into bed beside her, but shuffled over regardless, discarding the book carelessly on her nightstand in favour of curling up against him.

“I was just thinking about this weekend, our anniversary dinner.”

“Should I be worried that after 25 years you’re thinking this hard about our anniversary?”

“Only if you keep trying to be funny,” she quipped.

26 notes - Posted July 28, 2022

#4

Just One Thing (Chapter 8/8)

Chapter Title: All I want for Christmas

Chapter Summary: Peggy gets her wish (again). This time, she knows exactly what she needs to do.

Fic Summary: 16 year old Peggy Carter hates change. Change has only ever caused her trouble and made life harder. Which is why when one day, her best friend Steve confesses something that has the potential to change their dynamic forever, she makes a wish that she hopes will help her solve everything.

Because adults have everything figured out... Right?

A holiday version of 13 Going on 30 (more like 16 going on 36) Steggy Secret Santa ( @steggyfanevents​ ) present for @thesokovianaccords​. Inspired by the movie and this iconic AU gifset by @beautifulwhensarcastic

A/N: This ridiculously long final chapter/epilogue is brought to you by me not having any self-restraint whatsoever in terms of picking which scenes to keep and which to leave out, so consider this a director's cut-esque chapter. This was written with a lot of love for a super awesome person. Many thanks to Darcy for catching my mistakes and consistency errors.

Finally, Livia, happy belated holidays, and I really hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I've enjoyed writing it.

Read Chapter 8 here

Read from the beginning on AO3

Chapter Preview:

December 2001

“And well… you’re my true north, Peggy.”

Peggy’s hands froze. Her hands, that were slimmer and smaller and that had glitter nail polish on her fingernails, not bright red. She slowly looked up from the compass. It was nighttime, but she was no longer on aunt Lizzy’s couch. She was outside, close to the football field of Midwood high school.

And Steve was here, right in front of her. But he wasn’t 6 feet tall with broad shoulders and he certainly didn’t have a beard. He was 16 again, wearing his blue suit and nervous smile. Looking just like he did when he…

“Steve what… what are you saying?” she whispered.

He took a deep breath, and brought his hands out of his pockets just for him to stuff them back in again.

“I love you, Peggy.” Steve confessed, his voice shaking slightly.

“What?” she breathed out.

“I love you,” he repeated. “I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you since you punched Hodge on the first day of the first grade for picking on me.”

His words made Peggy want to cry tears of joy. She was back. It really worked and she was 16 again. This was her second chance. Slowly, her mouth grew into a large grin.

“Steve!” she squealed, tackling him into a huge hug.

Unfortunately for both of them, Peggy momentarily forgot that Steve no longer had the strength of giant muscles to support them both, especially since she caught him by surprise. The force of her hug had knocked Steve backwards, taking her along with him. They landed with a collective grunt, Peggy trying to readjust herself so she was hovering over Steve instead of crushing him beneath her.

“Ow,” he groaned, furrowing his eyebrows in pain.

“Sorry,” she said, looking down at him with a large smile.

“So is this your way of telling me I ruined everything or…?”

33 notes - Posted February 18, 2022

#3

in silent screams and wildest dreams

Summary: Steve Rogers has been plagued by nightmares of death his entire life; his father’s and his mother’s, most of the time his own. Visions of blood and war and illness are the most prominent things in his life when he closes his eyes. At night he regularly dances with the Grim Reaper when she appears, flirting with countless outcomes of how his own demise will occur night after night.

Until he joins the army and meets Agent Carter.

Written for Steggy Week Day 2: Favourite Era, inspired by this ask from @thesokovianaccords and my love of war-time era Steggy.

Shout out to @steggyfanevents for hosting this event!

Read on AO3

Preview:

Steve has been plagued by nightmares his entire life.

The night terrors began during his toddler years, and never left him as he got older. At first, the only part of his dreams that followed him into consciousness was a strong burning sensation in his eyes and on his skin, as though his entire body was on fire. Steve would wake up night after night shaking and gasping for air, never knowing the reason why. As he grew up, he was finally able to remember the images that haunted him ceaselessly.

It was visions of his father, who had died of mustard gas before Steve was even born. In these dreams Steve never heard a sound but he could smell the gas, see his father’s face as he inhaled the poisonous fumes.

Steve never told his ma the details of what he saw. She had enough to worry about without being concerned that Steve was having visions of his father’s death every night. He got better at hiding the fact that he was still having these nightmares - just enough that his ma thought that he finally grew out of them.

He kept a book under his pillow filled with sketches that he drew every morning when he woke up, trying to make sense of it all. Maybe if he understood them, they would stop.

But they never did.

36 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

#2

STEGGY FANFIC READING CHALLENGE - COMPLETE

1.1 - Fluff

Comforts of Home by @teaandatale

Quiet moments caring for each other at home are one of the luxuries that Steve and Peggy treasure as they move into a life together.

This is one of the softest fics I’ve read and I adore it

~

1.2 - Reread an Old Favourite

S’Wonderful, S’Marvelous by @teaandatale​

Peggy’s been dreading her company’s weeklong business retreat at an upstate ski lodge until she makes an unexpected acquaintance.

I don’t know what to say other than despite the fact that I don’t tend to read winter/Christmas fics outside of November-February, I reread this one at least three times a year and it never fails to bring me comfort even if it is the dead of summer

~

1.3 - Captain America Adventure Hour

That Swell Liberty Gal Carrying A Torch For You by Redrikki

Angie was sure that skinny Steve had been a real swell guy, but there was no way he'd been good enough for her Peggy.

A series of conversations makes her change her mind.

I am a huge fan of any fics where Angie realizes who Peggy’s lost soldier is, and this one is no exception

~

1.4 - Trauma

I knew nothing but shadows by @beautifulwhensarcastic

Children of Thanos aren't meant to care for the life they had before Father took them in. Neither Nomad nor Margaret remember much of Terra for it to matter anyway, or to feel any kind of connection between them. Truthfully, they'd sooner cut the other's throat than bond.

Nothing says trauma like being a child of Thanos. Justine layers the trauma - and subsequent healing - in a beautiful way. Featuring enemies to lovers

~

1.5 - Cohabitation

Someone to watch over me by rachellovesligers

Steve tries to distract himself while Peggy's on a mission, but he's there to take care of her when she returns.

Technically Steve and Peggy aren’t living together, but they’re at each other’s apartments enough that they may as well be

~

2.1 - Double Steve or Peggy

like the way you burn by @formerlyir / irony_rocks

Soulmate mark AU. Peggy thinks about the mark, the compass. She thinks about the providence behind its appearance alongside Project Rebirth. It's only the beginning to a series of events destined to change her life and the fate of the future.

See the full post

47 notes - Posted March 26, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

The Right Partner - Steggy Netflix Series

See the full post

221 notes - Posted July 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[dailyreverie]

Saw your post about the Christmas prompts and I feel like need to request Day 9 - Sledding, with any Oscar character please!! (surprise me 🤭)

Hold me tight

A/N: Lorena!!! I am SO GLAD that I saw you just tagged an Abel Morales gifset as "the loml" because I was about to post this request for you. So merry Christmas I suppose 😂 Thank you for requesting! I really hope you like it!

Day 9 - Sledding || biting wind, cold noses, and laughter

☃️ December Writing Challenge! 🎄

Pairing: Abel Morales x reader

Word Count: 1.03k words

☕ Support my work on Ko-fi ☕

After seeing the way the snow had covered everything during the night, it took no time for the Morales family to speed through breakfast, put on their coats, and head to the park. Beautiful hills that once showed grass were now the perfect spot for your girls to sled, with their pink boards shinning and their excited yells as you and Abel took on turns pushing them down the hill.

In between one push and the other, though, Abel had to make sure the cold was not bothering you; with his hand around your waist and his lips constantly searching for yours, and maybe a word or two about needing your help to warm up later.

“You are going to have to wait until those two get tired, though.” You reminded him, holding the lapels of his coat to hold him close to you, even when his hands were clutching your waist for the same reason.

“You, of all people, know that I don’t mind waiting” He winked, kissing you again to show you he meant it.

"Mommy! Daddy! It's your turn!" Your oldest exclaimed from the bottom of the snowed hill, bouncing with excitement as her younger sister giggled.

Abel laughed beside you, his gloved hand traveling up and down your back as you pulled apart. "We can't! We are too big for that sled."

The two girls had climbed up again by now, panting breathlessly with their cheeks red from the cold as they pulled the sled back up the hill. Abel's excuse was dismissed by the two girls, who looked from you to the small sled repeatedly as to assess the situation.

"Daddy has a big butt, girls, he won't fit." You joked, giggles erupting from the two girls with their heads thrown back from laughter.

"Hey!" Abel protested, pinching your own butt causing you to squirm to his side. The sound of your giggling matched your girls', and Abel had to smile at the sound of the happiness of his three girls, making him feel warm even in the middle of the snowed field.

"Well, even if daddy fitted, we can't do it. We need someone to push us down." You added. And yes, okay, maybe Abel's butt could be too big for the sled, but that also was the best excuse you could think for not sledding down a hill. Falling on the snow and catching a cold? No, thank you.

That didn't go unnoticed by Abel, who immediately caught on to your words. He turned to you with quirked eyebrows and an amused little smile. "I think mommy's scared to do it."

Two little teeth-gaped smiles turned to you, looking at you in surprise. It was Abel's turn to join in their laughter when they realized you did not deny it.

Abel's hand extended to you, offering his palm for you to hold with an inviting nod. "I'll make sure to hold you."

"Yes, mommy! Do it! Please!" Your girls added, doing their best to pull you towards the sled.

With a surrendered sigh you placed your hand on Abel's. He made sure to give a kiss to your knuckles before walking you towards the sled on the floor with an excited smile, with your two little ones next to you getting ready to push you down the hill.

You were already sitting down when Abel's legs appeared on each side of you, his chest warming up your back as he got comfortable behind you. "Remember to hold mommy, dad." The younger girl said causing a chuckle to leave Abel's lips, making his chest vibrate with laughter behind you.

"Don't worry sweetheart," his hands surrounded your waist, making sure to linger on you before moving to grab the handle in front of you. "I could never let you fall.” He whispered the last words, taking advantage of being that close to you to sneakily place a kiss on your jaw. You were sure you could have blamed the chill on the snow, but there was no point in doing so; Abel knew what he did to you and had no shame of making you shiver under his touch, not even with your girls right next to you.

Your hands held onto Abel’s forearms with a tight grip. It must have been a sight to see: Abel Morales, with his long fancy coat, squeezing into a tiny sled with his wife clutching to his arms for dear life. Your girls were enjoying it quite a bit, not able to stop laughing as you both wiggled to get comfortable on the seat.

“You are going to have to stop moving like that,” Abel warned you, once again, whispering against your neck.

“This is all your fault, Abel, now you suffer the consequences.” You turned your head around, finding his lips against yours, his cold nose bumping against your cheek.

“Alright girls, you are going to have to push us really hard. Are you ready?” After their unison reply, they stood behind Abel, their little hands behind their father’s back. “I want mommy to be terrified of how fast we are going.” You slapped his arm jokingly, your little family of four laughing all-together at it.

The two girls began counting to three, and once the final number was reached they stuck to their father’s words of going full-speed down the hill. The cold air hit your face as you traveled downwards, shrieking with both excitement and nervousness while Abel stirred the sled, teasing you with curves and turns that made you close your eyes and grasp his arm tighter.

You came to a halt at the bottom, laughing breathlessly and not letting go of Abel’s arm. “See, you didn’t fall.” Abel teased. pulling you closer to him with a tight hug around your waist. He was laughing too, his gorgeous smile warming every bone of your body,

“You are going to pay for that.” You said threateningly, but with a smile that meant the complete opposite.

He pulled you up with him, his arm still hooked around your waist, pulling you in for a quick kiss. “Don’t worry, I'll make sure to pay you well.”

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