#I hope your week is treating you all gently! Im looking forward to giving you guys some treats this week

[mononijikayu]

req - jjk characters (gojo lol) saying 'i know, baby, i know' when babying/comforting yn. ervyabebwyrogbrw

please feel no rush/pressure for this and look after yourself :)

⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡ જ⁀➴ '𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓲𝓼 𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓲𝓷𝓰' ╽ jjk + men

< satoru, suguru, kento, yuuji and megumi x comforting you >

GENRE: jjk men x reader

WARNING/S: alternate universe - canon convergence, romance, lovers, domesticity, fluff, comfort, hurt/comfort, crying, cuddling and snuggling, humor, teasing, pet names (love, babe, baby, etc), mention of period pains, mention of crying, mention of discomfort, mention of weariness, depiction of sad moments;

WORD COUNT: 3.3k

masterlist

note: im going to be out for a bit cause of my brother's birthday, so i wanted to write this to leave you with something lovely everyone~ thank you anon for your request~ i hope you like it~ ily <3

(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶) ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩ

when your favorite cafe snack isn’t available — gojo satoru.

you had been looking forward to your favorite snack all week—a sweet, indulgent treat from your favorite café that never failed to lift your spirits. but when you arrived and scanned the display case, your heart sank. the spot where your beloved snack usually sat was empty, replaced by a small sign that read, "temporarily unavailable."

your disappointment was palpable, and as you turned away from the counter, you couldn't help but feel a little downcast. you knew that it was a small thing, but sometimes the little comforts made all the difference when you’ve been dealt hard missions.

gojo satoru, your partner, accompanied you to the café. its late at night, so he didn’t want to see you go by yourself. when you lowered your head, he immediately noticed your change in mood. he placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, his thumb gently rubbing in circles. 

"hey baby, what's wrong?" he asked softly, concerned about lacing his voice. 

"they don't have it," you sighed, trying to brush off the disappointment but failing to keep the sadness from your voice. "it's silly, i know, but i was really looking forward to it."

your satoru's eyes softened with understanding, and he pulled you into a gentle hug. "it's not silly, baby." he murmured, holding you close. "i know how much you love it."

you sighed and leaned into his embrace, taking comfort in his warmth and presence. "i guess i just had my hopes up, babes." you admitted, feeling a little embarrassed by how much it affected you. “it is pretty late.”

satoru chuckled softly, resting his chin on top of your head. "it's okay, baby. i know," he said reassuringly. "we all have those little things that make us happy. i’m sorry they don’t have it today."

you smiled against his chest, feeling a bit better just being in his arms. "thank you, babes. you always know how to make me feel better."

he pulled back slightly, looking into your eyes with a playful glint. "how about we go find another café that has something else you love? Or maybe I'll even try to make it for you at home. could be a disaster, but i'm willing to give it a shot, baby."

you laughed at the thought of your satoru in the kitchen, knowing full well his culinary skills were hit-or-miss. "that sounds perfect, babes." you agreed, the disappointment starting to fade away with his support. "i'd love to see you try."

gojo satoru grinned, his enthusiasm infectious. "then it's a date, baby!" he declared, kissing your cheek. “come on, baby!” 

taking your hand and leading you out of the café, ready to turn your day around with his unwavering love and optimism. you were lucky to have him.

(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶) ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩ

when you’re very overworked — geto suguru.

these past few weeks had been a whirlwind of missions and responsibilities. they’ve given you mission after mission and you hated it. this leaves you feeling like you were about to get sick — feeling exhausted and worn thin. as a jujutsu sorcerer, you were no stranger to hard work, but lately, the demands had been relentless, leaving little time for rest or self-care.

one evening, as you returned home from another long day, geto suguru to immediately notice the way your fatigue was etched all over your beautiful features. your suguru was sitting in the living room, surrounded by books and papers, researching his next mission. he notices when you come home all the time, so he looked up as soon as you walked in, concern flashing across his face as you stood there.

"you look exhausted, baby." suguru said softly, rising from his seat to greet you. his purple eyes, always filled with warmth and tenderness, mirrored the concern you felt but couldn’t voice. "have you been overworking yourself again?"

you sighed, running a hand through your hair, feeling the weight of the day pressing down on you. "yeah, baby. it's  just been... a lot," you admitted, your voice weary.

your suguru approached you, his expression shifting from concern to determination. "come here, baby." he said gently, guiding you to the couch and urging you to sit down. "you need to take a break."

you couldn’t help but just sink into the cushions, grateful for the chance to rest. your suguru sat beside you, his presence comforting and reassuring. "let me take care of you tonight, baby" he offered, his voice filled with quiet resolve.

you couldn’t help but smile, touched by his love and care. “you don't have to do that, sugu, baby."

your suguru shook his head, a small smile playing on his lips. "but i want to. you already do so much for everyone else. let me do something for you."

your suguru got up and disappeared into the kitchen, and you could hear the clattering of dishes and the sound of water running. a few moments later, your lover returned with a cup of tea, offering it to you with a gentle smile. 

"here, drink this. it'll help you relax, baby."

you took the cup, feeling the warmth seep into your hands. "thank you, sugu. baby." you said, taking a sip and savoring the calming aroma. the tea was soothing, a perfect remedy for the day's stress. “you’re so good to me.”

he smiles, pressing a kiss on your cheek. “you’ll do the same for me, baby.”

“i love you.” you smiled up to him, drinking your tea again.

“i love you too, baby.” he grins, his fingers running down your hair. "you’re doing an incredible job, baby." 

“thank you baby.”

“but take care of yourself, hm? your health matters most.”

you nodded. "i know. i just... i feel like there's always so much to do."

he  gently brushing a strand of hair from your face. "and you'll get it done, i have no doubt. but you don’t have to do it alone. let me help you, okay?"

his words wrapped around you like a warm embrace, filling the cracks that exhaustion had left behind. "Okay, baby." you agreed, feeling lighter than you had in weeks.

as the evening wore on, your suguru kept his promise, ensuring you were comfortable and cared for. he drew a warm bath, cooked a simple but delicious dinner, and made sure you took the time to unwind. with each small act of kindness, you felt your energy slowly returning, the weight of the day lifting from your shoulders.

by the time night fell, you were curled up on the couch with your suguru, your head resting on his shoulder. The room was quiet, filled only with the soft crackle of the fireplace and the rhythmic sound of his breathing.

"thank you for taking care of me, baby" you murmured, feeling a deep sense of gratitude. “you’re so good to me.”

suguru smiled, wrapping an arm around you and pulling you closer. "anytime, baby." he replied softly. "i’m here for you, always."

(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶) ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩ

when your favorite character dies — nanami kento.

the moment you heard the news on twitter, your heart sank. your manga favorite character, the one who had inspired you and brought so much joy into your life, was gone. you’ve never felt like this before. this felt like a piece of your world had shifted, leaving behind an unexpected emptiness that you couldn't quite comprehend.  

slowly, as the reality settled in, you found yourself sitting on the couch, clutching a pillow tightly, tears welling up in your eyes little by little. you didn’t want to be dramatic but the loss of a beloved character was a reminder of the fleeting nature of life, even in the world of fiction, and it weighed heavily on your heart. it felt like the sun will never shine again.

nanami kento noticed your quiet distress as he entered the room. getting home, he was really worried. on thursdays, you get quiet when spoilers for your favorite manga drops. but you immediately reply to him. it’s been hours now and he was concerned.

your beloved nanami kento had always been perceptive, understanding the small things that brought you happiness and, in turn, the things that could break your heart. he approached you with a calm presence, sitting down beside you.  

"hey, baby." he said softly, placing a gentle hand on your back. "’heard about what happened. i'm sorry, baby."  

you looked up at him, your eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "it sounds silly, doesn't it? being so upset over a fictional character, ken-ken." you said, trying to brush it off, but the pain in your voice betrayed your true feelings. “this is horrible, ken-ken.”

your nanami shook his head, his expression kind and understanding. "it's not silly. we can form connections with stories and characters because they mean something to us. so, don’t worry about being sad. it's okay to feel like this too."  

you nodded, feeling a bit reassured by his words, but the grief was still there, a persistent ache. Without another word, your nanami pulled you into a gentle embrace, wrapping his arms around you securely. you were so lucky to have him, your 2d man. your truest love.

"it's okay to cry, baby." he murmured, his voice a soothing balm to your heart. "i'm here. you can let it all out."  

and you did. you let the tears flow, feeling the weight of your emotions being shared with someone who understood and cared. your nanami held you close, offering quiet comfort and a safe space to grieve your beloved manga beloved.

after a while, when the tears had subsided and your breathing had steadied, your nanami pulled back slightly, looking at you with gentle eyes. "feeling a little better?" he asked softly.  

you nodded, wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. "a little bit, ken-ken." you admitted, managing a small, grateful smile. "thank you, ken-ken. it really helps having you here. it makes me feel better."  

your lover smiled back, a warm, reassuring expression that made you feel valued and understood. no one had made you feel this comfortable being like this, ever. only him. Your beloved. 

"anytime," he replied, reaching out to brush a stray tear from your cheek. "and if you need to talk more about it or anything else, i’m always here to listen. about this manga husband of yours or someone else."  

nanami shifted his position, reaching for a cozy blanket and draping it over your shoulders. "why don't we watch something together, baby?” he suggested, gesturing towards the television. "something light and uplifting. it might help take your mind off things, hm?"  

you nodded, appreciating the distraction. "that sounds nice, ken–ken." you agreed, settling back against the cushions.  

(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶) ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩ

when you watch too many cute videos and you get overwhelmed — yuuji itadori.

It had been one of those days where you found yourself falling down a rabbit hole of cute cat and dog videos online. your little brother had sent you a video that led to another, and soon, you were lost in a world of fluffy kittens and playful puppies, your heart swelling with each adorable clip.

as the hours passed, the sheer amount of cuteness became overwhelming. you found yourself tearing up, emotions bubbling up unexpectedly as you watched a video of a tiny kitten being rescued or a puppy reuniting with its owner. you couldn't help it; the happiness was so intense that it left you feeling a bit frazzled and emotionally raw.

yuuji happened to walk into the room just as you were openly crying, your face buried in your hands. his eyes widened in concern, and he quickly came over to sit beside you.

"hey, babe, what's wrong?" he asked, gently rubbing your back as you sniffled and tried to compose yourself.

you let out a shaky laugh, feeling a little embarrassed for getting so emotional over cute videos. "it's just... i don't know," you hiccupped, wiping away your tears. "i've been watching all these cat and dog videos, and now i'm just so overwhelmed by how adorable they are!"

yuuji grinned, clearly relieved that it wasn't something more serious. "ah, i get it. they're so cute that it just hits you right in the heart, huh?" he said, giving you a sympathetic pat on the back. "i didn't know cute overload was a real thing until now!"

you nodded, chuckling through your tears. "yeah, i guess i wasn't prepared for this emotional rollercoaster," you said, feeling a bit more at ease with his lighthearted approach.

"well, how about we take a break from all the cuteness for a bit?" yuuji suggested, his voice cheerful and comforting. "we could go for a walk or do something else to clear your mind. what do you think?"

you nodded, grateful for the suggestion. "a walk sounds nice," you agreed, feeling a sense of relief at the thought of stepping away from the emotional overload.

yuuji stood up and offered his hand to help you off the couch. as you took it, you felt a wave of warmth and comfort from his touch, his easygoing nature already helping to soothe your frazzled nerves.

as you both headed outside, yuuji started talking about random things, trying to distract you with stories about his day and sharing funny moments that had happened recently. his energy was contagious, and soon you found yourself laughing along with him, the heaviness in your chest starting to lift.

"see? you're already feeling better, babe!" yuuji said with a grin as you walked through the park, the fresh air doing wonders to clear your mind. "sometimes you just need a change of scenery."

you nodded, appreciating how effortlessly he knew how to make things better. "thank you, yuuji," you said sincerely, feeling lucky to have him by your side. "you're always so good at cheering me up."

he gave you a warm smile, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you continued your walk. "it's easy when i'm with you, babe." he replied, his voice full of genuine affection. “i love you, hm?”

you giggled. “love you too, babe.”

by the time you returned home, you felt much more at ease, the overwhelming emotions from earlier having subsided. yuuji made you a cup of hot cocoa and some snacks. both of you settled down together in a snuggle pile on the couch, determined to keep the good vibes going.

"remember, no more cute videos for a while, babe!" he teased gently, nudging you playfully. "or at least take it slow next time!"

you laughed, grateful for his support and understanding. "i'll try, babe." you promised, snuggling closer to him, feeling comforted and content.

(˶ ˘ ³˘)ˆᵕ ˆ˶) ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـ♡ﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩﮩ٨ـﮩ٨ـﮩ

when you’re on your period and its been painful — fushiguro megumi.

the cramps had started early in the morning, a dull ache that gradually intensified until it felt like a storm was raging inside you. this was one of those cycles—one of the bad ones. you really tried to go about your day, but the pain and discomfort were relentless, leaving you feeling drained and frustrated. tears were brimming through your eyes all day. you haven’t told megumi, but it’s rough to disturb him when he’s training.

so, you decided you would find dealing with this by yourself the only choice. you were curled up on the couch, a heating pad pressed against your abdomen, trying to find some relief. the room was dimly lit, the curtains drawn to keep out the harsh light, as even that seemed too much to bear. but you’ll get through it. you always have. and you will again.

fushiguro megumi walked in, his expression softening with concern as soon as he saw you. kugisaki had called him, because you weren’t answering the knocks on your dorm door. he had noticed the signs earlier, the subtle winces and the way you held yourself, and he knew you were in pain. he sighed and shifted your hair away from your face, eyes narrowed tenderly.

"hey, dummy." he said, his tone gruff but filled with concern as he sat beside you. he presses his palm against your forehead. "how are you feeling?"

you let out a small sigh, giving him a tired smile. "not great, babe." you admitted, appreciating his presence. "this cycle is rough. it hurts so bad."

megumi nodded, a little furrow of worry on his brow. "why didn’t you tell me earlier?" he muttered, reaching out to gently brush your back as you sniffed some air. “you know i don’t like it when you’re sick, you dummy.”

“but you were busy.” your lips echo a tender pout, eyes brimming with wetness.

“i don’t care if i’m busy.” he sighs, brushing your face softly. his tender eyes were always so loving to you. “i want to take care of you, i always do. so let me, okay?”

you sniffed your tears away. “hm, okay.”

"is there anything i can do to help?" his thoughtfulness was a balm to your discomfort, and you felt a little lighter knowing he was there to support you. “what you need me to do to care for you, babe?”

"could you maybe make some warm tea?" you asked, hoping the warmth might help ease the cramps a bit. "and get snacks? please?”

"yeah, yeah. i’ll be right back." he replied, getting up and heading to the kitchen.

you could hear him moving around, the sound of water boiling and the comforting clink of mugs being prepared. he rummaged through your cabinets to get you some snacks. he already knows what you like. but your mood changed a lot when you get your period. he had to be sure.

"you want chocolate, right?"

"yeah, babe. i’d like those. thank you, babe.” you said, a bit more relieved. you could see his red ears from all the way here. you grinned slightly. “it’s cute how you’re blushing.”

“i–i’m not, shut up!”

“how cute my boyfriend is!”

“cut it out, you dummy!”

he returned a few minutes later with a steaming cup of herbal tea and a couple of snacks, including your favorite chocolate bar. he set them down on the table in front of you, giving you a small smile as you took his hand and squeezed it. you knew you’d always be cared for, because he’s always here. he’ll never make you feel anything but happy, loved and comforted.

"here you go," he said, sitting back down beside you. "and i brought some snacks too, just in case you’re hungry."

you smiled at his thoughtfulness, taking a sip of the tea and feeling its warmth spread through you. "thank you, babe. you have no idea how lovely this is. this helps a lot."

he nodded, a small smile playing on his lips. "it’s nothing, dummy. let me know if you need anything else, okay?"

as the day went on, megumi stayed by your side, quietly taking care of you in all the ways that mattered. he made sure you were comfortable, adjusted the pillows behind your back, and even put on one of your favorite movies to help distract you from the pain.

when the cramps became particularly intense, he would sit close, offering gentle words of encouragement and occasionally rubbing your back in soothing circles. his presence was a steady anchor, helping you feel less alone in your discomfort. he kissed your temple tenderly, as soft as a feather. everything about his gentleness made you feel so loved.

"remember to drink plenty of water, okay?" he reminded you gently, handing you a glass. "and don’t hesitate to tell me if you need anything else."

"thank you, megumi," you said again, feeling overwhelmed by his love. "i’m really lucky to have you."

he gave you a soft look, his green–blue orbs full of love. "....i’m just glad i can be here for you, you know that." he replied, his voice sincere. "i like taking care of you."

"i know you do." you whispered, leaning forward to kiss the corner of his lips. "love you, babe."

he blushed slightly, looking away. "…love you too."

[cooliofango]

Shedding Some Light

Pairing: Nikolai x Cameron

Word Count: 1044

A/N: IM SO SORRY THIS TOOK AO LONG BBYYYY 😭😭😭 It’s be an incredibly hectic holiday at my mother’s and I’m only just getting the time to write this short little gift for you. I hope you enjoy it regardless but!!! Surprise!! I was your Secret Santa! Happy Yuletide @ohworm-writes !!!!

CW: Pagan holiday, exclusive to Cam and Cam only!!!!!, possible tradition inaccuracies ;-;

The spoon clinks with each turn it makes in the rich and warm chocolatey liquid. The smell brings a smile to their face. They’re already looking forward to diving into the treat alongside their lover as they stand here making it. The spoon drips hot cocoa as it is lifted out of the mug and is set inside the sink. The soft and fluffy marshmallows are easily plucked from the bowl that was set aside just before starting the creation of the hot drink. The marshmallows are large, squishing pleasantly in their fingers as they drop three into each mug. The creamy fluff immediately melts on the surface, covering the entirety of the beverage.

“That should be enough marshmallows.” Cameron mutters to themself, lifting one of the two mugs into each of their hands before turning to walk out the kitchen.

But they pause and observe.

The home is beautifully decorated for the solstice. Garland made of evergreen and fresh pine cones topped with a thin layer of fake snow lace the entryways of the home- including the one to the kitchen Cam stood under currently- as well as across the fireplace and a bookshelf that stood in the entryway hall. On those shelves, however, are also a few candles that are placed carefully in the middle of the garland. They gave a warm, dim glow into the comfort of the home the two shared.

A Yule tree is decorated with garland that Cameron and Nikolai spent hours putting together, as well as dried slices of orange and lemon that Cam had put hooks though to hang on the tree’s branches. Nikolai had brought miniature fake candles and sun shaped ornaments to put on the tree too.

A special gift that Nikolai had created by hand was the metal tree topper that was also sunshapped. It was something that the both of them were surprised that it was kept quiet about until the surprise was revealed to Cameron just earlier this week. It did explain a lot to them, though. Why Nikolai was suddenly spending an incredible amount of time in the shop- which, in itself, is saying something, as we all know that Nikolai would gladly spend hours upon hours working on his helicopter- was a big question that occured often. Turns out he had even used scrap metal from his precious helicopter to make it, cutting, bending, engraving, and heating the metal to give it the yellow, shiny appearance it has now. A light shone behind it to make its silhouette glow against the walls around it.

The smell of warm cinnamon lingers in the air and Cameron turns their attention to its source.

Nikolai is sitting at the coffee table putting together the dried sticks of the spice around a glass dish meant to catch the wax of melting candles. His tongue is pressed against the inside of his cheek and his brows are furrowed with concentration. One stick of cinnamon is held in one hand while the other carefully applies the hot glue against the side of the glass with a steady hold on the hot glue gun. The glue gun is set back down on a piece of cardboard- it being used to keep the hot glue from dripping on the glass table and ruining it- and the cinnamon stick he held is pressed carefully on top of the hot glue and beside the already glued down cinnamon. It was gently pushed up with a large finger to make sure it was even before Nikolai picks up another stick from the package to his left and the hot glue gun to his right.

Cameron felt their heart soar a moment more for the man who stole their heart almost a year ago. The effort Nikolai was putting into enjoying the holiday lined with their belief made them feel so much more grateful to have Nikolai in their life once more. They should’ve known that once Nikolai set his heart on celebrating Yuletide, there was no stopping him. He truly went above and beyond, and is still doing so, just for them.

Nikolai sits in jeans and a fluffy, white sweater that matches his love’s, as well as some fluffy socks they just insisted that he wore too. He doesn’t notice Cameron yet, too busy focusing on the mini project he was determined to finish. That was until they placed his mug on the coffee table in front of him, causing him to pause and look up at them.

A large and loving smile easily pulls at his lips, setting both items back into their respective places. “Спасибо, дорогой!” His eyes lit up at them, almost hesitating to look away as he reaches for the hot ceramic mug. Cameron sits beside him, carefully blowing the steam from her own drink.

“Thank you,” Cameron emphasizes, “You didn’t have to do all of this.” A hand gestures to the flurry of decorations around the house as Nikolai takes a sip.

A hum of satisfaction slips past closed lips, visibly relaxing at the warmth the hot cocoa provided for him. The mug is rested carefully against his thigh, one hand holding the cup up. His other hand rests on their thigh, each of them holding a soft and grateful look in their eyes.

“Do not thank me, дорогая. I’m more than happy to celebrate your traditions with you,” Nikolai says firmly and confidently, “I’ve had a great time enjoying this holiday with you, Cameron.”

They smile back lovingly up at him, eyes moving from his own to his lips. A sudden snort of amusement follows, biting onto their bottom lip as they look back up at him. Nikolai raises a brow at the evolving giggles falling from their lips. “What’s so funny, дорогая?”

Cameron clears their throat, smile still present. Their hand raises and points at the area above their own lip, “You’ve got a little something…” Their voice trails off as Nikolai carefully raises his own hand and wipes the fluffy marshmallow from above his lip with his thumb. There was a moment of silence as he stared at the sugary substance before he too laughed at the sight, Cam’s laughter joining in as they enjoyed the serenity of the moment together.

Taglist 🏷️

@bunnyreaper @bookobsessedram @a-very-bored-blogger @hawsx3 @ohworm-writes @tokusho @kitkatscabinet

[satans-knitwear]

Im the full package: messy hair, tasty thighs, soft tummy 🎁💕✨

Treat me (wishlist) ~ Tip (pypl) me (cshpp)

[bratshaws]

through the hourglass 6. brb x oc

a/n: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I JUST WANT TO WRITE THEM BACK ON CALI OK (also tried the word thingy that was suggested SO FINGERS CROSSED!!!!!)

pairing: plus size!oc x rooster

warnings: fluff, bea's uncle being KINDA WILD, bradley has doubts but bea is there for him <3

goodness gracious (pls read this one to know more what this fic is about!!)

chapter

1/2/3/4/5

(pls let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!! OR REMOVED! i just kept you guys cause you wanted to be in GG so >- > IDK IM SORRY)

taglist: @mirandastuckinthe80s @roosterschanelslut @wiipes @lcahwriter @shrimping-for-all @gretagerwigsmuse @frenchtoastix

@lizzie-rdj @fanboyluvr @atarmychick007 @comebacktoearthpls

@peachiicherries @mak-32 @lizziespidiepridie @roosterswifey @ollyoxenfrees @piceous21 @sqrlgrl22 @hofficoffi @lexhalstead3 @lorilane33 @legendarydreamersharkparty @luckyladycreator2

@emilybradshaw @j-6o @louisahale @leobabbyyy @kulicny @winter-run @ktjmac @graciereads @bigpoppajes @taytaylala12

@caitsymichelle13 @becks-things

-

By the time the week was nearing its end, Beatrice and Rooster both left the hotel to go to her uncle’s house. It wasn’t a long trip and they could easily get there by taxi if her uncle wasn’t already at the front of the hotel. She had to do a double take when she saw the message, then peeked outside the balcony to see her uncle’s tall frame in front of a large SUV, lifting his arm up to wave at her “Hello bambina!” his deep voice shouts and he gestures to the car “Come on!”

 

Beatrice blinks, then turns to Rooster who just gives her an amused shrug “We shouldn’t stall too much if he’s there already.”

 

So they finish up at the hotel, only taking a few extra clothes for safety as they make their way out. They’d come back in a few hours after all. Roberto’s smile immediately widens when he sees the couple walking out, “Ah, finally, I was about to kick the doors down!” she knew he was joking but if you saw her uncle around you’d think he would kick doors down. 

 

“Zio, don’t joke about that.” she gently scolds him but then hugs his neck as he pecks her temple, “Hi, zio.”

 

“Hi, bambina, good to see you.” he lets go of her to turn his eyes to Bradley, “Ah, the man of the hour, come here,” he immediately brings the pilot into a bear hug, almost lifting Rooster off the ground. “Good to see you as well, ragazzo. How has Palermo been treating you?”

 

Once he is let go and Rooster feels like he could breathe, he offers Roberto a small smile after fixing his sunglasses, “It’s been really great.” her uncle nods, almost proudly, then nods towards the car while he opens the passenger door. It’s very spacious inside so Bradley doesn’t have to squeeze himself too much, but he chooses to stay close to Beatrice who just smiles up at him.

 

“Well,” Roberto says once he enters the car, “I hope you two are excited, because I am!” he chuckles before driving off.

 

That’s when Beatrice leans forward so her head is peeking from the back of the driver’s seat with her brows furrowed, “Yes, uncle, about that…when did you get a boat?”

 

“Oh! Funny story,” she immediately sighed knowing it’d be just like she imagined, “I met this man in the fish market, right. He is from Hungary I think and he was selling a boat! So I thought about it and said ‘hey I always wanted a boat!’ and then he showed it to me and i bought it!”

 

“And aunt Valeria is okay with that?”

 

“Oh your aunt doesn’t know.”

 

A deathly silence takes over the car and Beatrice’s eyes widen behind the sunglasses, “Wait, wait, what do you mean aunt Valeria doesn’t know??”

 

“Well, you see, it’s a surprise! I just finished everything up this week! She has no idea!’

 

She doesn't know if that’s sweet, worrisome or both. She chooses both for safety. Beatrice just lets out a “Oh.” and settles back down next to Bradley, giving him a look that only makes her husband arch his eyebrow at her.

 

“But don’t worry! She’ll be happy when she sees it!” her uncle boasts, “You know how she is.” she couldn’t really agree much with that considering her aunt was one of the most worrisome people in her family - yes even surpassing her mother - who not only feared her own shadow but was extremely superstitious. Meeting her aunt Martha and her nonna must’ve been quite interesting back then.

 

“Do you even know how to drive a boat, uncle?” she asks with genuine curiosity, and worry, only for her uncle to explain he took a course and he knows everything there is to know and more, “Okay…and is it a big boat?”

 

‘Oh, I think it is. I mean it fits four people.” Roberto grins, humming to himself as they turn a street, “So it is pretty big!”

 

Beatrice purses her lips, then sighs deciding that she wouldn’t get more out of her uncle until they arrive at his house, so she just leans back against the passenger seat and turns her head to Bradley who’s already looking at her with a little smile. He leaned down to kiss her forehead, she could feel he was telling her not to worry without using his words and she appreciated it.

 

Maybe her aunt wasn’t the only one who was worse than her mother either.

 

“And here we are!” Roberto announces “Home sweet home.”

 

Roberto parks the car in front of a two story yellow house with large stone steps that led to the front door. There were several types of bushes and plants that decorated the outside and when Bradley stepped out of the car after Beatrice, he couldn’t help but wander to where he saw the concrete railing on the curve of the road, whistling low when he could see the ocean and other houses below this one, “It’s a hill.” he comments to no one but himself, “Holy shit this view is beautiful.”

 

Beatrice’s presence appeared next to him where she leaned her body a bit forward without any fear - it was pretty high - much to Bradley’s sudden panic, his hands immediately holding her waist as she looked around, “There used to be a fig tree over there,” he tried to control his worry when she leaned even further, almost bending over the edge and easing out a sigh of relief when she stands up again, “Shame there’s nothing there anymore.” Beatrice innocently turns to Bradley, who looks way too pale for his own good, “Are you okay?”

 

“Please don’t bend over a railing I don’t know how many feet away from solid ground.” he mutters in one breath, “I can deal with that,I don’t know if I can deal with you doing that.”

 

“Oh, oh no it’s really safe, Brad I–”

 

“Bea.”

 

Beatrice smiles fondly, “Okay,I won’t.” she whispers, kissing the three scars on his chin and grabbing his hand once she hears her aunt and uncle talking on the front porch. He sighs in relief again, letting the brunette guide him forward where three large cane corsos immediately walk out and decide to sniff them as a greeting.

 

They were fully black cane corsos with the only color being the red collars on their necks, “Oh my God, hi guys!” Beatrice’s voice goes high and the dogs’ tails start wagging like crazy, “Oh my God! You three look so big! Hi! This is Rooster, he’s my husband!” the two dogs started sniffing his shoes and one of them even nudged his hand to get a pet already, whining like a puppy, “I think they like you.”

 

Bradley laughs, scratching the one who nudged his hand behind the ears “Well, you know I like dogs.” he smiles, hand going down to scratch the dog’s chin and in turn the dog’s leg started tapping on the floor with happiness, “Especially big dogs, hi sweetie.” he coos when the other cane corso comes close to demand pets as well.

 

Roberto watches the scene from the front porch with his hands on his hips, “Yeah, my girls are very loving. Andiamo! Come on ladies, back inside!” the large dogs immediately followed the command, rushing into the house past Roberto and Valeria, “Come on in you two, it’s way too hot to stay outside.”

 

The inside of the house was indeed much cooler, the blue tiles that led to a living room and open kitchen area appeared to have golden speckles mixed in and whenever the light shone on them they glowed. The windows are huge, tall arches that went from floor to ceiling and opened in the middle towards a large balcony with even more plants adorning the sides.

 

It was so spacious and homey. There was a staircase that led to the second floor, where he could see another window that illuminated the top of the steps. Meanwhile both of them could hear Bea’s uncle and aunt talking in the kitchen, mainly in Italian and it was too quiet for him to understand what they were saying yet.

 

Beatrice furrowed her brows “I don’t know how my aunt will react to the boat thing.” She begins “I mean it’s sweet he invited us but my uncle is a bit…impulsive I guess.”

 

“An impulsive buyer?”

 

“Hah, yeah, it’s a miracle this place isn’t hoarded with stuff.” She admits quietly, lowering her bag onto the couch, a big couch with a marble like pattern of browns and white.

 

“Did they live here for a long time?”

 

“Ever since I was a kid.” 

 

Roberto’s heavy steps approach the two, interrupting the conversation, “Anyway lovebirds, are you two hungry? Valeria prepared us lunch!”

 

Beatrice furrows her eyebrows, “Zia! You didn’t have to!” but her aunt just waved her hand to say it was nothing. She looked back at Rooster who just smiled at her “Alright…we can have lunch.”

 

-

 

After a wonderful seafood lunch, Roberto told the two to rest in one of the guest rooms until it was mid afternoon so they could enjoy the surprise that her aunt was already getting suspicious of. They took a nap because honestly they didn’t feel like they could do anything else until then, and once they woke up they changed back into their swimsuits and met Roberto downstairs.

 

Her aunt had her arms crossed over her chest while wearing a black bathing suit and a long flowy dress on top to cover, questioning her husband what was happening, “It’ll be fine!” her uncle said, smiling at the couple then whistling to the dogs, “Come on! I cannot wait to see your reaction!”

 

Instead of using the front door like they expected him to, he just turned to the kitchen and to the double doors that led to the patio that had a direct connection to the beach down below. Her aunt was still questioning him on the way down, with Beatrice and Bradley following along with a grin, the pilot’s hand leaning down to gently scratch the cane corso closest to him behind the ears again.

 

It takes them a few minutes to reach the beach, with her uncle leading them to the port where the other people’s private boats were. Beatrice could only watch with the same grin as her aunt questioned why they were in the private port when they had nothing to put there, especially since mainly those boats were fishing boats more likely.

 

That is until they started nearing a massive yacht by the end of the bay, well it wasn’t enormous but it definitely towered over the small fishing boats that surrounded it. “Oh…” they get even closer, with her uncle speeding his step, “My…” he turns around to gesture to it “God…”

 

“Here she is! Isn’t she a beauty?”

 

Complete silence follows, complete and absolute silence and the only one that breaks it is her aunt after a good chunk of time, “Cos'è questo? Roberto, cos'è questo??” she asks in Italian, pinching her fingers and thumb together and shaking her hands back and forth “Che cosa sta succedendo??”

 

“Well amore mio, I wanted to show you our new baby! Andromeda!” He is so proud he doesn’t seem to notice they all look at him stupefied. 

 

Her aunt’s eyes widen, “Our new baby– Did you buy this?!?!”

 

“Yes!”

 

Beatrice winces at her aunt’s tone, “She doesn’t seem that happy…” she looks back behind them to see Bruno and Umberto coming as well, they probably arrived a few minutes ago and her uncle messaged them. “Hi guys.”

 

“Cugina! Hello– what is that?”

 

Bruno snorted, pulling his sunglasses over his eyes, “I think papa bought a yacht!”

 

Cue to Roberto trying to tell Valeria why it was a good purchase, why they’d enjoy it so much and they could travel all over the world with it. But her aunt was too preoccupied as to how and why he got it in the first place. Beatrice,Bradle, Umberto and Bruno just watch as the couple talk back and forth, her uncle never losing his smile and never raising his voice even if her aunt seemed less than pleased.

 

Bradley then opens his mouth to ask, “Does he do things like this often?”

 

A resounding “Yes,” comes from the two brothers and the brunette without missing a beat. It was really amusing and normally, it would be uncomfortable if he wasn’t accompanied by Beatrice and her cousins…speaking of her cousins, he darted his eyes to Umberto and immediately zeroes on a very specific bruise on his neck, right where his jawline ended and his throat begun.

 

He had a feeling he knew what happened but he couldn’t share with Beatrice just yet, deciding to hold it in…he felt like a little boy telling someone his sister had a boyfriend now and he had proof that it happened.

 

After a while, Roberto and Valeria calmed down - well her aunt did - and started walking to the yacht, “Come on! Come on!” he whistles again so the three big dogs leap in as well, although they were a bit fearful at first, needing to be carried into the yacht by the army veteran himself. 

 

Bruno and Umberto follow, with Beatrice and Bradley close behind, “Uncle, I don’t think this is a boat.” Beatrice says, widening her eyes at how massive it was inside. It really fit more than four people there. 

 

“It is a boat! A big boat!” he laughs, leaning on the front deck with a grin, “That’s what the guy told me!”

 

“It’s a yacht uncle.”

 

“Same thing! Come on in, come on in.”

 

With something so big she started to wonder if her uncle had any idea at all of what he should really do and if this course was teaching him how to control such a huge thing in the middle of the ocean. He joked that if something happened, both Bradley and Umberto could help him out since they were in the Navy.

 

He was very surprised when no one laughed at the joke.

 

Meanwhile, Bradley couldn’t help but smile - even if he was a tidbit nervous - when meeting more of Beatrice’s family. He knew Umberto well enough by now, but his brother, his father and his mother he only knew from passing. He had no idea Roberto was this boastful man who seemed to find everything hilarious no matter what and a bit oblivious to certain things

 

Umberto was like his father, he was very friendly, and just as oblivious - especially to flirting. As for Bruno, he was a bit loud, he liked carrying people - since he tried picking Guillermo up and failed miserably and chose to pick up his mother instead- with a boyish grin. Beatrice said he was twenty five years old so that explained the youthful nature. 

 

Valeria was a worrywart as Beatrice called her, she was always fussing about, talking to Claudia or one of her sisters in law, hovering close to her sons and husband to make sure they weren’t doing anything stupid and even to Beatrice. He had to admit he was a bit jealous at first, he never told Beatrice that he got that way. She knew he didn’t have…a lot of cousins, a lot of aunts or uncles and his grandparents weren’t around when he was born.

 

He wanted this type of connection to people for a long time and he was more than happy when Beatrice’s family took him in. Claudia especially wanted to make sure he always had a good time, always asked about his well being and always said that he ‘needed to fill up a bit more’ before slapping food on his plate.

 

When he was younger he wished he had a sibling, he felt very…alone for a very long time even if his mother was always there for him. He eventually grew out of it, joined TOPGUN and then worked up the ranks so he didn’t have the time to think about it anymore.

 

But now that he had Beatrice’s family supporting him so much he really felt he could have that at the ripe age of thirty seven. It wasn’t unwelcome…and he felt his mother would’ve liked them all too. 

 

He didn’t even notice they were already away from the marina, too busy looking at the horizon and the endless ocean to notice but he does blink when he feels Beatrice’s small hand on his bicep,”You okay?” she asks sweetly, holding something in her hand.

 

“I’m fine, gorgeous.” he smiles, “Just thinking, what’s that?”

 

“Birra Moretti.” she says while turning the label to him, “It’s beer, it’s really good. Uncle said to drink for him since he can’t because he could crash the yacht.” she laughs nervously but her eyes have a smidge of worry, “Want to try?”

 

He looks down at the light amber colored bottle, then shrugs, “Why not? I should expand my horizons.” he says, then thanks her quietly as she sits next to him while nursing herself with some as well. He pops the bottle open without issues, then tilts the bottle up his lips. It’s not bad at all, honestly it’s really good, “This is nice.”

 

Beatrice smiles, “Yeah?”

 

“Yeah,I like it.”

 

“It’s tradition,” Umberto’s voice appears, “Papa always had those when in family meetings, I guess we are now…doing it on the boat.”

 

“Absolutely not!It’s not safe!”

 

“Mamma, it’s fine, it’s not like we’ll fall off the boat–”

 

“Bruno Schiavoni if you continue–”

 

Bruno just laughs, tipping the beer back to drink more of the amber liquid. Beatrice smiles at her cousin, but her eyes return to Rooster and she sees he’s not looking at them, he’s looking ahead, “Hey, you okay? What’s the matter?”

 

He laughs softly, looking down at the beer, “...your family is really cool Bea.” he begins, “...I…I just feel really welcome. Is all.”

 

Beatrice’s gaze turns fond and she puts the beer aside, hugging her husband’s arm and propping her chin on his shoulder, “Well,I’m glad. I’m really glad Roos. I know my family is…unconventional to say the best,” cue to her uncle singing O Sole Mio in the background, “And they can be…um…”

 

“Protective?”

 

“Intense.” she says, “But, they aren’t that bad. I think I forgave them after a while, you know? I guess I was upset with my parents for a little bit and then, well, I managed to work through it.”

 

“Yeah?” he asks, “What changed?”

 

“You.” she whispered and he stopped the bottle close to his lips, his eyes widening behind the dark shades, “You helped me grow a lot Roos, more than you know.”

 

Bradley lets out a surprised chuckle, thankful they were sitting farther from her uncle and cousins so they could have this conversation, “I…” he didn’t know how to reply, after all he didn’t think he’d be good within the ‘family aspect’ because he still blamed himself a lot for cutting contact with Mav for so many years, “Really?”

 

“Yes.” she says sweetly, her eyes shining, “You are my biggest supporter and I appreciate it a lot.”I think I told you that before didn’t I?”

 

“You did mention I helped you but not in the familial sense.” he chuckles again, the hand holding the beer landing on his bare thigh, “I mean, I guess-” she knew what he wanted to say, he wanted to say his experience wasn’t long and it wouldn’t be enough to help her like she wanted. 

 

“Brad,” she smiles more, “You helped, you did.”

 

She’s so sincere when she says it, her eyes are on his and he could see it even through the dark lenses. Part of him still felt undeserving of so much praise, but part of him decided that maybe, just maybe, he could start accepting these things no matter how small.

 

Bradley’s surprised expression turned to adoration, his free hand holding onto hers as their fingers interlaced together, “Okay.” he says, kissing the top of her head, “I won’t argue with that.”

 

“Good.” she giggles, “I’d hate to.”

And he thought that this was a great way to end their honeymoon, they’d go back home to Cali on monday and their married life would officially start. And he honestly felt they were both ready for it.

[honeymilkk00]

Haikyuu Boys: You Flinch

Pt 2

@silver-argent​ :  Hii! I super looooove the way you wrote Haikyuu Boys: You flinch, perfect amount of angst to fluff! Are you taking requests? If you are, will you please do a Sakusa and Kenma? the you flinch. It's okay if you don't tho! I'll still look forward to your works!❤❤

tysm for the encouraging words!! my requests are open and im more than happy to do Sakusa and Kenma jewbjkew. i hope you enjoy. i'm literally so tired and just wanted to finally get this out <3

characters:

-sakusa

-kenma

___________________________

Sakusa

Dating Sakusa was the last thing you ever thought would happen to you. He filled your days and nights with such love and passion. You had broken through his stoic and cold shell and had seen him for who he truly was deep inside- a loving partner through and through.

Of course, old habits die hard. Since he had spent years of his life being a reserved person, only putting up with his family and teammates, he still was very hesitant when it came to affection. Sometimes all he wanted to do was to be alone with his thoughts and nothing else. It hurt to see him like that, knowing that no matter what, you couldn’t help him, but you understood and gave him the time he needed.

Five months into yours and his relationship had lead to a few disputes, but nothing too serious. He was a prideful, headstrong man which lead to you having to bite your tongue during arguments and keep your snarky words to yourself, refusing to let them slip off the tip of your tongue. If they did, the argument would escalate. 

You loved Sakusa for everything he was, bad parts and good, but sometimes he was too much. 

And, that’s how you were here, biting your lip harshly as you stare at him, refusing to let your anger get the best of you. 

Sakusa had been coming home quite late due to volleyball practise, but it got to the stage where you were scared that he was doing to overwork himself and injure himself. Instead of letting it slide, you confronted him about it and suggested that he should take some time to let his body heal from the strenuous training regimen that he was doing. It seemed that Sakusa wasn’t in the best of moods and had snapped at you, shooting abhorrent words towards you as if you were nothing but a pile of shit, accusing you of restricting him from reaching his full potential and trying to turn him away from volleyball because you were too clingy for his liking. 

“Fucking hell (Y/N), you’re so fucking clingy! Just because you’re an attention whore and want me to worship you doesn’t mean you can try and take me away from what I love doing. You’re so fucking obsessive it’s driving me crazy!” Sakusa bellowed and clenched his hands together, his nails digging into his hands. 

Taking a deep breath to keep yourself as calm as possible, you spoke in a soft tone, “Omi, I’m not trying to keep you from anything. I just think you should rest your body before you overwork yourself and become ill or injure yourself. I know you want to improve but that can happen gradually over time. I doesn’t need to happen all at once.” You murmured and gently placed a hand on his, trying to reassure him.

Letting out a deep, angered growl, Sakusa pulled away from your grip harshly and pushed your hand away, “don’t fucking touch me! You’re fucking disgusting! All you do is hold me down and try and control my life, you obsessive pest!” He hollered out.

His words ripped open your chest and stabbed you in the heart repeatedly. You felt like you were choking on your own heartbeat. It hurt knowing that your lover found you disgusting. A strong feeling of rage surged through your veins. “How fucking dare you, Sakusa! I’ve done nothing but tried to help you and all you do is treat me like shit. Every time we argue I have to bite my tongue because I know that if I retaliate, you’ll just get even more angry. I can’t express how I feel to you anymore and I feel as if I don’t matter in this relationship. If you want to overwork yourself and injure yourself then fine, go ahead, but don’t blame me for saying I told you so after it’s happened!”

His eyes narrowing at your words, Sakusa swiftly turned to glare at you and raised his fist, poking your chest aggressively, “Fine, I will then because I’m not letting you control me anym-” He paused mid sentence, his eyes widening when he noticed you flinching when he raised his hand. Slowly, he lowered his hand and dropped them at his sides. Your shaking figure made his heart clench painfully tight. “(Y/N) I-”

“I can’t do this anymore, Sakusa.” You voice whispered, barely loud enough for him to hear. Tears rolled down your cheeks and you sniffled quietly. “I can’t handle this pain anymore. I can’t handle feeling like I’m walking on egg shells with you. I can’t handle being afraid of how you’ll react when I speak about how I feel. I just can’t do this anymore.” You voice got quieter and quieter the more you spoke. Looking up at Sakusa, you swallowed thickly. “I can’t do us anymore.” 

Sakusa was frozen, watching you carefully. It was deathly silent. The only sound he could hear was the sound of his heartbeat beating rapidly. 

“I’ll pick up my things tomorrow. I’m going to stay at Atsumu’s for the night.” You whispered and turned away, heading towards the front door. 

A small, almost whine-like noise left Kiyoomi’s mouth. He reached out and clasped your hand gently, tears forming in the corner’s of his eyes. “Please.” He begged quietly.

Looking back at the man you loved, your heart shattered into small pieces when you noticed his dampened eyes. Never had you seen him cry before. “What is it?” You asked quietly, biting the inside of your cheek.

Sakusa pulled you in tightly for a hug and pressed his lips against your cheek gently. “Please don’t leave. Please please please… I’m so so sorry (Y/N).. I didn’t mean anything I said. I love you and I’m grateful for everything you do for me. I’ve just had a really bad day. Please I love you. Please don’t leave. You’re my baby... “ He pleaded softly and held you tightly, as if afraid that you’d disappear if he let go. 

Letting out a sigh, you caved in. You were still mad at him but at the end of the day, you loved Kiyoomi more than anything else. You would give up everything for his happiness. “Kiyoomi...” You whispered softly and then turned around so you were face to face with him. Gently cupping his cheeks, you sighed, “I love you so so much Kiyoomi... But you can’t say stuff like that to me even if you’ve had a bad day. You really really hurt me even though I was just trying to look out for you.” You explained and frowned softly, kissing his tears that resided in the corner of his eyes. 

Pressing his lips softly against your hands that rested on his face, he let out a shaky breath that he didn’t realise he was holding, “I know... I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I promise I’ll do better..” He whispered gently and pressed his nose into your hair lovingly. “I love you so much...”

Leaning in closer to Sakusa, you inhaled his scent, “I love you too, Omi..”

He never wanted to see you flinch like that again.

________________________

Kenma

Kenma was an erudite genius when it came to the art of strategy. His deep understanding of the game and the unspoken pledge to win is what drove him forward and kept him reaching, grasping, clutching for new strategic idea that would leave his opponents breathless.

For days, maybe even weeks, on end, Kenma would be researching, training, and repeating the process until he felt confident in his methodology that would be used in a game. Thus, led to a breakdown. After weeks of undereating, lack of sleep, training beyond his physical capabilities, and his mental strain thinking of ways to defeat the opposing team, Kenma was at his wits’ end. 

As his partner, you immediately noticed the changes in his personality. Of course, concern was your initial reaction and you were somewhat frightened of irritating him more, but you knew you had to confront him about his lack of self care. Seeing him train during lunch and falling asleep in lessons led you to realise how hard he was working himself. 

So, after school you managed to pull him to one side before he proceeded to train at the club. A frown was present on your lips and you took a deep breath. Looking at him now hurt a lot: his eyebags had considerably increased since the last time you saw him; you could now see physically where he had lost weight from undereating for weeks; his eyes seemed a lot duller; his body slouched over slightly, as if it was begging for a break. It was agony to see your partner slowly harm his body and mind like this.

"Kenma, just know I love you so much and I understand that volleyball means a lot to you right now since it's your final year with your team as you know it with Kuroo as captain, but look at yourself. You're not taking care of yourself at all. You aren't helping you or your teammates by undereating and not sleeeping." You murmured gently, taking Kenma's hands in your own. You knew that you had to be careful and not push your boyfriend, but you couldn't let it continue.

Kenma simply frowned at your words and pulled his hand away from yours, "(Y/N), I don't need your lecturing. I'm perfectly fine taking care of myself. I don't need you." He hissed out and turned his back on you, proceeding to head to practise. He had no time to waste on pointless conversations.

(Y/N) grinded their teeth together, their heart aching slightly at the harsh words, "I'm not lecturing you, Kenma! I'm doing what a s/o should do and I'm looking out for you! Please just take a small break before you overdo it!" You hallooed, as if that would make the words sink in.

Vexed, Kenma turned around with a deep scowl on his face, "Why don't you just back off, (Y/N)!? I don't care about you right now, all I care about is me and my teammates winning this game!" He shrieked, which caused you to trip back and swallow thickly.

A small whimper escape your lips and tears formed in the corners of your eyes as you flinched. You were normally fine with Kenma's salty attitude, but he never usually shouted at you. Taking a shaky breath, you looked at your boyfriend dead in the eyes, "fine! Do what you want to do! Since you don't care about me I won't bother anymore! Don't you fucking dare come running to me when you overwork yourself and can't handle it anymore!" You retorted and turned away.

Kenma's eyes widened slightly at your words as he watched you turn away. "Wait...." He whispered out, his hand reaching towards yours. Lightly, he grasped your wrist and sighed, pulling you close and burying his head in your shoulder. "'M sorry... I'm just so stressed..." Tears brimmed his eyes and he sniffled softly. "I didn't mean it..."

Letting out a soft sigh, your shoulders relaxed and you pulled your lover in for a cuddle. "I know you didn't mean it baby... But remember your health comes first, volleyball after." You whispered and gently stroked his hair. He simply nodded in response and hugged you tighter.

Maybe you both could work things out. You just need to learn to communicate more.

[haikyuu-appreciation-club]

Hey, I was hoping to get an emergency request? I’ve been depressed and had my heartbroken a bit, so I’m kinda staying up at night just having bursts of crying fits, and so I was wondering if I could have some hcs of how Tsukishima, Aone, Ushijima, and Daichi would treat their s/o if they spent the night with them when they were crying on and off through the night. Thanks, and feel free to delete this if it’s not something you wanna do x

hey there anon!

im so sorry to hear that love, remember that it is 100% okay to cry and that every single thing you’re feeling is valid <3

my messages are always open (and ask box is too if you prefer to stay anonymous) xoxo

I hope you enjoy our bbys showing you some much deserved love :)

•Tsukishima, Aone, Ushijima, and Daichi Comforting Their Crying S/O•

warnings: mentions of mental health issues

genre: comfort + fluff

characters: tsukishima, aone, ushijima, daichi

•Tsukishima•

tsukishima was usually very snarky and playful when it came to your relationship

back and forth bantering was how you two showed your affection for one another

but when tsukishima heard your soft cries from beside him he knew that this was a time where he had to be more cautious with his words,

“Hey, what's the matter with you?”

you turned to look at him, eyes puffy and red, with hot tears streaming down your cheeks

you swiped at your face and offered him a forced smile,

“I’m fine Kei, sorry for interrupting your beauty sleep.”

he didn’t miss the slight shake in your voice with your attempts to lighten the mood

he tsked and flicked your forehead,

“I’m not an idiot Y/N, why are you crying?”

you casted your eyes downward, too embarrassed to face your boyfriend

it’s not as if you didn’t think he’d care or you were too nervous to open up to him but you didn’t want him to view you as weak or troublesome,

“I guess I just haven’t been feeling the best lately. I’ve been getting sad more often than usual without a reason and I don't really know what to do.”

tsukishima looked at you as you tried to stop your lip from quivering

seeing you like this made his heart hurt

he always hated seeing you so upset but he wasn't always the best at reassuring you during your time of need

he sighed, more towards himself then you, and pulled you into him

“Kei wha-”

“Quiet,”

“But what are you-”

“Y/N, save me the embarrassment and just cuddle with me, will you?”

your eyes widened at his statement, it was very rare for tsukishima to initiate something like this 

but you didn’t complain, curling up next to him and wrapping your arms around his figure

soon after, the feeling of sadness washed over you once more as you tried to hold back your tears

you didn’t want to seem ungrateful by continuing your pity party

after all tsukishima practically leaped out of his comfort zone to help you 

however, as you shook lightly in tsukki’s hold you felt his arms that were encasing you give a soft squeeze,

“you can let it out, it’s just us Y/N.”

once those words met your ears tears began flowing down your cheeks all over again

tsukishima held you, running his slender fingers through your hair until you fell limp in his hold, slipping out of consciousness

once he knew you had fully drifted off to sleep he placed a kiss on your tear stained cheek,

“I love you.”

•Aone•

aone was a very light sleeper, so he didn’t miss the light whimpers that escaped your lips as you lied next to him

at first he didn’t really know what to think, maybe you were having a nightmare or something of the sort?

but when he heard a sob rack your body he knew that wasn’t the case

aone wasn’t one to freak out over things, he was very composed and calm even in difficult situations

so, as soon as he sensed something was wrong he didn’t hesitate to take initiative

sitting up and gently shaking your shoulder, he spoke in a soft voice,

“Y/N.”

you turned to face him and immediately he could make out the tears staining your cheeks

he was never one to use his words, choosing to stay quiet for a vast majority of the time, but you didn’t ever mind

his actions had always spoken so much louder then his words ever could

you knew how much he loved you, it was displayed with every single thing he did

and when he silently tugged at your hand, lifting you away from the covers and into his warm embrace, you felt his love all over again

he lightly rubbed your back as you continued to cry into his chest, your arms lazily returning the hug 

a part of you felt embarrassed being caught in such a vulnerable state but the way your boyfriend was caring for you washed away any feeling of unease

after a while, the soothing rhythm of aone’s large hand moving up and down your back brought you to a state of peace

however before the two of you drifted back off to sleep, aone tugged on your hand once more, pulling you out of the room

“Aone, where are we going?”

he didn’t answer you, just pointed in the direction of the front door

you were confused but figured it would just be simpler to comply with his unknown idea then to ask questions 

aone pushed open the door and the cool air met the exposed areas of your body

you shivered a bit as you watched your boyfriend sit down in front of you, staring up at the night sky

he looked back and patted the spot next to him, signaling for you to join him

as you sat down, aone wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close, letting his body heat warm you up

the two of you sat there watching the stars in each other’s company

it was nights like these where you were truly grateful to have someone like aone in your life

•Ushijima•

ushijima was never exactly good at understand emotions or comforting others

so when he woke up to hear you softly sobbing beside him, he didn’t know how to react

his first instinct was to ask your upfront what was wrong but he had been told many times before that he was too blunt and he didn’t want to make things worse for you

so, he lied there trying to figure the best way to approach the situation

that was until he heard you get quieter and quieter, and soon enough your whimpers grew silent

he was confused at first but he figured you just had a nightmare and decided to approach you about it in the morning

after squirming around a bit, trying to get comfortable, he finally settled by your side with his large arm draped around your mid section

he always loved these nights with you, it gave him the opportunity to be in your company without the constant worry of conversation

he knew you didn’t mind his silence but the nagging from his teammates had made him a bit insecure about his quiet nature

so, being able to just lay down and enjoy your presence was definitely a favorite moment for him

he began to drift off into sleep until he heard your quiet cries once more, the sound leaving a pang in his chest

although he was not the best when it came to feelings, he did not want you to go through your issues alone, so he sat up and turned to you,

“Y/N, what is wrong?”

you flinched at the sudden sound of his voice, not realizing you had woke him up,

“Oh, sorry Toshi. I just had a bad dream, that’s all. Don’t worry you can go back to sleep.”

“You had been crying earlier as well. Is there something bothering you?”

you had tried to hid your emotions from your boyfriend for so long, but iit wasn't as if you didn’t trust him or didn’t want to confide in him

you just didn’t want to worry him or make him feel awkward about the whole situation, which is why you had been trying your best to muffle your sobs

but seeming as the whole plan back fired, you had no other choice but to come clean,

“It’s just, I’ve been feeling kind of off lately. I don’t know exactly why but I just feel sad,” 

you peered up at ushijima through damp lashes and watch as his brows furrowed at your words

quickly you cut the conversation short, already feeling as if you were bothering him,

“I’ll be okay though so don’t worry, lets lay back down, okay?”

you leaned back to snuggle into the covers when you felt ushijima grab your wrist

“Come with me.”

“Huh?”

he didn’t give you an answer as he hauled you out of bed and towards the bathroom

you sat yourself down on the floor as he kneeled in front of the tub, turning on the water and grabbing some bubble bath from under the counter

you watched as he prepared a bath, humming your favorite song subconsciously as he did so

soon enough he had finished, wiping his hands on his pants and turning towards you,

“Undress please.”

your cheeks flushed at how straight forward he was with his words but you complied none the less

once you had stripped yourself bare, he lightly grabbed your hand and helped you into the tub

he spent his time kneading your body, earning groans of satisfaction from you as he released the tension in your sore muscles

as he massaged some shampoo into your scalp he spoke up,

“I am not good with my words, you know this. But when I am feeling unpleasant, I enjoy relaxing like this. I hope you do as well.”

your heart melted at his statement

he always tried his best in your relationship, even though he was unfamiliar with the concept

“It feels really nice Toshi, I’m definitely feeling a lot better.”

“I’m glad Y/N.”

he paused his actions for a moment as he peered directly into your eyes,

“I love you very much.”

you smiled up at him as you brushed your fingers across his cheek,

“I love you too Toshi.”

•Daichi•

daichi had noticed something was a bit off with you this past week

you seemed quieter and less cheerful then normal

so it wasn’t a huge surprise to him when he woke up to you crying into your pillow

despite his anticipation, it still broke his heart to hear your soft whimpers as you clutched the fabric beneath you

daichi wasn’t one to hesitate when it came to comforting you

whenever you had been down he was always right there, ready to pull you into a tight embrace or place gentle kisses on your forehead

and tonight wasn't any different as he grabbed your shoulder and turned you so he could see your face

his fingers gently swiped across your cheek, collecting the tears that you had shed,

“Y/N, what's the matter?”

when it came to your boyfriend you had always felt this sense of comfort, even when you’d try to hide your emotions or go through things by yourself, he was always right there with you

so when he asked you that question you felt compelled to let him know the truth

“I-I don’t know. I just feel so empty and broken, I don't know what to do. I’m sorry Daichi.”

“Hey, there’s no need to be sorry babe. Life can get the best of us sometimes and I understand that. But remember Y/N, you aren't alone in all this. I'll be right by your side, always.”

you looked up at him and smiled at his words, letting out a soft hiccup as he cupped your face in his hands

“Do you wanna talk about it some more?”

you shook your head slowly

daichi brushed his thumb across your cheek and pulled you close, pressing a chaste kiss against your forehead,

“Alright, do you wanna watch a movie?”

that suggestion received your immediate approval

you two always watched a movie at the end of your rough days, it was the perfect way to spend time with one another and get your minds off anything that had been bothering either one of you

you snugged up to daichi as the light from the laptop illuminated your faces

he wrapped his arms around you and placed a kiss to the top of your head,

“I love you Y/N.”

“I love you too Daichi.”

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 5

a/n: we ltr going at 5 parts and i have another part written out and im just drowning in love with these seijoh asks

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

anon request:

Can i ask for cute moments between manager and the boys outside of school, like how she and kyoutani probably bump into each to go feed strays etc??

yes anon!!!!!! these moments made me so soft™

IM CACKLING LIKE BLS THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE ENTIRE STAGE PLAY BC HE PLAYS OIKS SO WELL AND IWA IS JUST SO IWA AND I LIVED FOR OIKS’ ‘IWA-CHAN!’ AND IWA’S ‘RAAAAA!’ AND THIS GIF JUST SHOWS SEIJOH BEING SEIJOH AND HOW THEY WOULD REALLY ACT IF THEY WERE REAL LIKE UGH THEY DID SUCH A GOOD JOB W THE CASTING

these are the cute little moments and get ready to die of the cuteness

be warned, this isnt a straight plot or no main focus but just bits and pieces of fluff 

keeping up with seijoh episode 3467328937

as mentioned before, they dont really get to hang out a lot w you outside of practice 

youre either too busy taking care of your schoolwork, catsitting for the aizawa’s, or having you time since youve been busy w the boys all week

but there are times where you do have available time to go hang out with the boys

and they know about your schedule so they try to make memories either during practice or after practice

fortunately, kyo lives at the same street as the aizawa’s so he walks you to their house when you have a job 

but sometimes when you are just walking home, you both stop by the convenience store first and find some cat food cans and dog food cans and water 

it was a complete accident when you both found each other standing at the same aisle, holding the same things, with the same intentions, for the same animals

the alleyway where you first met is basically your second home bc thats where your babies live

since you cant exactly take in 5 dogs and 6 cats in your house, you and kyo are taking care of them in that alleyway where you feed them and build them a little shelter with blankets and stuff

this will be explained more in the next manager!seijoh part

after practice, particularly after a really productive one, the guys like to go to the ramen shop near the school to treat themselves after their hardwork

by now, the old lady who owns the shop knows their order by heart and has it ready when you all enter

yall get settled in but you go over to yahaba and snap his wooden chopsticks for him bc he never snaps them properly and ends up breaking them

meanwhile,,

you gather as much napkins as you can and place them beside kindaichi bc he makes such a mess while he eats and you have stand-by wipes for him

you make a special request to add tofu into iwa’s ramen bc the mans loves tofu so much and he still doesnt understand how the lady seems to know this despite him never telling her

your seat is usually next to mattsun bc he doesnt eat all the side dishes up like the others and you can eat some of it too

kyo sit across you and demands you eat at least 2 bowls bc you never seem to eat enough and he gets secretly concerned so he aggressively cares for you

‘kyo-san,,,, im full though’

he ‘glares’ at you

‘what you mean youre full. you didnt even finish the bowl. eat the rest and have another or youre not leaving this table’

pls what

fun fact, oikawa actually has two pairs of glasses and he gave you one in case he forgets to wear his main one and leaves it at home

so he gets to school and he just realizes he forgot his glasses and his contacts were still being shipped so he freaks out and texts you about it

but you always have the case safely tucked in your bag so you wander up to the third year floor and knock on his class door

iwa, who is in the same class as him, glares at the students who stare at you and nudges oikawa who was looking out the window

‘oi, your glasses’

his head snapped to the side and sees your smiling face and the familiar brown box being held out to him

his face scrunches and he launches up his seat and takes you in his arms

‘Y/N-CHAN IS SO RESPONSIBLE! SO NICE! OIKAWA-SENPAI REALLY APPRECIATES YOU!’

‘oikawa-san, please let me go’

you mumbled, embarrassed at his behavior in front of the whole class

once iwa has you safely on the ground, you excuse yourself and go back to class

the class still stared at the door you passed through and iwa had to bark at them to go back to their business

youre like the seijoh and younger version of goddess kiyoko

before kyo got back to the team, you usually walked home by yourself but makki actually accompanies you when he doesnt have errands to run

‘makki-san, i heard theres a sale going on for puffs’

you would mention as you walked and you would look to see his eyes light up and walk faster towards the bakery

‘cmon, y/n-chan. makki-senpai is treating you today!’

he turns into a child, a contrast to his chaotic energy in school, and he runs over to the glass where indeed, there was a sale going on for his puffs

while he was staring at what flavor he wanted, youd go to the cashier and give her your card

‘when that guy with the light brown hair with the blue and white jacket comes up to pay for his cream puffs, charge it to my card, please. whatever you do, dont take his and use mine immediately, please. ill come by later and pick it back up’

the old cashier lady felt true hope and happiness for humanity at your actions and it increased when she saw the shocked look on the boy’s face when she immediately swiped the card when he finished ordering

‘what? i havent paid-’

‘the young lady that came with you already did, young lad. shes a keeper’

he turned red

‘ahaha, no, shes our team manager’

once he finished paying and went outside, he took out his phone and dialed your number to call you

you smiled from the aisle in the convenience store down the street bc you were expecting him to call you

‘hewwo, makki-san’

he shut his eyes at how cute you sounded

‘y/n-chan, senpai wanted to treat you today!’

he whined but you bit your lip, leaving the store after purchasing a drink with the remaining cash you had

‘hmm, but i did too. you just werent too fast, senpaiiii~’

you teased and he let out a breathy laugh

‘next time i’ll be faster! mark my words!’

‘then im looking forward to it, senpai~!’

did anyone notice that he is the first one she called senpai?

to our baby yahaba

we know how he literally tried to go after yachi in that one episode so you know how flirty he is

but youve made it clear that you reject his advances and he pouts and finally accepts it so he stops it, instead actually just caring for you

ya know how he cares for the others and cheers them on?

he does the same to you

our babie notices that you are so busy taking care of the others that you forget to take care of yourself

like that time they lost to shiratorizawa, you made bentos for them all week to cheer them up

but he saw you not even eating and realizes that you were busy making the food that they like, each different to accomodate to their taste, that you had no time to make your own

he went down to your class and noticed you missing and he asks kindaichi and kunimi and they said that you said you wanted to get fresh air

since he pays attention to you, he knows you like to go to the roof to breathe

he ventures up the stairs and when he opens the door, he notices you just staring up at the sky, sitting down on the floor

‘being in an empty place like the roof doesnt compare to how lonely Pluto must feel to be outcasted in the solar system’

your comment catches him off-guard but he regains composure and makes his way to you before sitting down next to your form

‘hmm, oikawa-senpai talked to me about space one time. he mentioned the vast possibilities that stays hidden in the shadows’

you and him turn your head at the same time and share a gentle smile

‘but its up to us to find those secrets and abilities’

you finished

he nodded and went back to look at the clouds that looked like they were slowly moving but it was really the earth turning

‘i want to be a sports instructor. i want to be able to help others,,, i want to help them find those abilities and perfect them so they could fully love playing’

a chuckle escaped you and you tightened your arms around your knees, following his gaze to the blob of white that was painted on to the blue canvas

‘let other people be your universe, baba-senpai. dont let them be like Pluto. take time to find out who they are so they dont feel so lonely, okay?’

yall im tearing up right now though

as mentioned at the first part of this series, you go to the gym very early to set up for morning practice

sometimes, the four third years arrive at the same time but sometimes, only iwa comes

you noticed him put his bag down and help you with the nets before pushing the cart to finish the task for the morning

‘thank you, iwa-san!’

you thanked and he ruffled your hair

‘can you actually help me with my workout?’

you nodded and you knew his routine by now

as he got in position for a push up, you gently sat down on his back so he could start pushing up

you sat cross-legged and you counted every push up and held a timer so he could beat his previous record of 100 push ups in under 5 minutes

IWA IS LITERALLY ON ANOTHER LEVEL

once he hit 100, he collapsed on the floor and you stopped the timer at 4 minutes and 48 seconds

‘good job, iwa-san! new record!’

you cheered and he grumbled on the floor

you gently turned him over so he could lay on his back

he closed his eyes from the bright light of the gym and he raised his arms as his hands made a grabbing motion

‘hug. i want hug’

he whined and you fake gasped at this

‘iwa-san, i didnt know you could be so whiny’

‘huuggg~’

in my series, its canon that iwa is actually a whiny little babie despite that tough exterior and hes much more whinier than oikawa

you laughed before surrending, mumbling ‘yes, yes’

this wasnt the first time this happened since he asked you to do this before bc hes a touch starved babie and as a manager, you must give your team love

you climbed on him and laid your head on his chest while he mumbles happily with his arms going around you

‘just five minutes’

you offered and he said ‘mhm’

well, you both fell asleep and were woken up by scandalized and jealous yells from oikawa

to our baby libero watari

watari is actually the only player who has been to your house before

you made an off-handed comment of making bentos for the team again and he offered to come and help you make them

so here he was, standing in your kitchen, as you were cooking with him

you were chopping up vegetables and he was waiting for the eggs to boil so he was just stirring it slightly

‘wata-san, can you give me a bowl from the cabinet above you?’

he nodded and gave it to you so you could place the chopped carrots and onions in it

once the timer was done, he scooped out the eggs and placed them into an ice bowl so he could peel them later

you knew his favorite food was boiled eggs so you wanted to boil some so he could snack on them

‘can you peel one and see if theyre perfectly cooked, wata-san?’

his fingers skillfully rolled the egg on the table before peeling it effortlessly

he hummed as he chewed on the food

‘delicious?’

you asked and he turned to you, cheeks still full but he raised a thumbs up

you grinned and went back to chopping the scallions

‘actually, i didnt need any eggs for the dishes. i wanted you to snack on your favorites as i cook. its like payment for keeping me company’

his eyes shone and he hurriedly went to hug you tightly

‘i really appreciate everything youve done for us, for me. but i just want you to keep smiling okay? i know we’re a handful and we can get out of hand sometimes but you always keep us together. you must be stressed and there must be times you get angry with us and must’ve cried because of us but i hope you’ll still stay with us even through all that’

WATARI YOU MAKING ME C R Y 

lmao kindaichi’s made me laugh

so basically, we all know his famous haircut, right

but what if that was actually just a style hes had since he was young but he has naturally down hair?

the stuff he puts in it like this brand of gel is just so tough and sturdy that two washes of hair is the only thing that can get rid of it

even during practice when hes sweating the atlantic ocean, it somehow stays up

he puts gel on it and stuff after he showers to make it stick up and BOOM turnip head

but one morning, he,,,, wasnt turnip head

the boy woke up late and he didnt have time to perfect the sticking up so he went to school with his hair down and everything

you were already there since morning practice has started and kunimi told you that kindaichi texted him he would be late so you were just patiently waiting by the door for your classmate

but some guy just walked in

your eyes widened and you pulled their arm

‘um, this is for seijoh volley-’

then the words died in your mouth

‘yuu-kun,,,’

you stuttered and he placed his hands on his face to hide away

‘dont look y/n-chan!’

his shout attracted the others and then silence before the laughing and howling started

‘THESE FIRST YEARS I SWEAR!’

makki was on the floor, punching it as he laughed

kindaichi turned red and he was about to run out but you held on to him

‘i can fix it for you, yuu-kun. come with me?’

he nodded immediately and hurried away towards the back where the sun was just starting to rise

you rummaged through your gym bag and found the specific gel brand he uses 

kindaichi was SHOOK bc why the hell did you have it?

you noticed his shocked and confused look

‘i knew this would happen. we’ve facetimed before, remember? just in case this would happen, i brought backup’

his eyes glistened with tears of gratitude but you waved it away and started attempting to fix his hair

tbh you dont know why he did this hairstyle because his hair was really soft and nice and he still looked attractive either way

moving on to kunimi babie

lets face it, he probably doesnt sleep at all at night and he suffers from insomnia

and when he cant sleep, he bothers his friends

but he doesnt bother you though

which makes you sad bc you thought you made it clear that he could come to you if he was in need of something

you only found out after kindaichi accidentally blurted out during morning practice of how tired he is bc kunimi wouldnt stop talking to him at 2 in the morning

‘aki,,, you could’ve called me’

you gently said and kunimi scrunched his nose at how sad you sounded

‘you need your sleep, y/n’

‘but i want you to sleep too’

‘kindaichi’s been my contact since i was like 5 so-’

‘so you dont need me?’

your eyes watered and kunimi jumped, frantically fussing over you

‘okay, okay, y/n, okay. ill call you’

then as if they were never there, you cheered up and bounced happily

‘i’m expecting it, aki-kun!’

but at 1:43 in the morning, his finger hovered over the call button on your contact since he really didnt want to bother you

but he could already hear your whines in the morning

‘aki?’

he cursed when he heard your groggy voice

‘sorry y/n, ill hang up-’

‘no!’

you sat up, forcing to wake up

‘stay’

you mumbled and he made a sound of agreement

‘not tired?’

you asked

‘no. well, like im tired but i cant sleep, yknow?’

you laid on your bed with your cheeks puffed out, trying to think how to put him to sleep

‘we can just talk, aki’

‘about what?’

‘anything. just,,, talk to me. i want to know your favorite color, your favorite food, everything about you’

:( morning calls really hit different

last one is our mattsun babie

so like, mattsun is a TREE

im like 5′3 and hes like 6′2 so we a whole dwarf next to him

you are always dwarfed whenever you stand next to him and this little shite takes advantage of that and puts his elbow on top of your head

he likes to poke fun at you but you just pout bc you know hes all fun and games

‘hows the weather down there’

‘so mean, mattsun-san’

but his height did give him a special memory with you though

you were both left in the gym to clean up bc everyone had something to do like oiks had to go home bc takeru got sick and iwa also got sick and you just volunteered to clean up and mattsun stayed behind

you were sweeping the floor and you unconsciously started humming as you swept and started swaying a little

mattsun heard you as he pushed the carts and watched as you just swayed and twirled around and he found himself smiling at you

you noticed him stop in front of you and he bowed down, holding out a hand

‘may i take this dance, m’lady’

you laughed

‘what? whats going on?’

he softly held your hand and pulled you to him

‘you were dancing and i wanted to join you’

you nodded and looked up at him, eyes half-lidded

‘stand on my feet, chibi-chan. i can lead while you sing’

it was a random song you heard from the radio earlier but you complied while he moved with your feet on his

you giggled when he would lean down to softly kiss your forehead and shriek when he would unexpectedly dip you down

either way, at 8:34 PM, you and mattsun danced under the gym lights with no witness except you and him

ughh i really want seijoh now

you and the team share individual memories that are more special than the ones with the others bc its where you could actually be upfront with each other

its just a shame that there are 4 third years in the team that would eventually graduate and go their own separate ways after high school, leaving behind their underclassmen

they could just hope that those memories and special moments would remind them of who you were and how special you were to them since at the prime of their youth, you were their first true love

a/n: ngl i didnt expect to finish this so quick but im just in a really soft mood right now and this is to makeup for the fact that my update schedule could start becoming erratic due to my school so i hope you enjoyed this blurb!! and depending on my asks, there could only be one last part to this series unless someone requests for another specific scenario with the manager!!

[benevolentjin]

dekaranger guys as your older brother

wow i saw Hoji have a breakdown and decided to write this (aka episode 4)

last edit: january21 2022

Ban:

Ban’s a very caring person and wears all his love on his sleeves so he supports you through and through.

He’s the person to get you both in trouble because he’s so reckless and impulsive with all the decisions he makes.

Terribly thought out prank wars.

Seeing his confidence truly influences you and your confidence to the point that you both have matching confident energy.

He’s so lively and very fun to be around.

You guys are gym bros.

Siblings get ripped together B)

He doesn’t let small mistakes get to his head as easily as someone like Hoji does because he makes mistakes constantly.

He’ll brush it off and pick right back up and work even harder towards the issue.

He approaches you making a mistake for something the same way

He doesn’t want you to dwell on it and if anything, is annoyed that you’re moping around.

It's not going to fix itself no matter how much you mull over the mistake.

You can only collect yourself and move forward.

Ban is there by your side to support and see you grow even if his methods are a little aggressive.

Hoji:

He’s literally perfect.

Hoji does everything to practiced precision.

Because of that, he holds everything he does to a very high standard.

This standard thus translates onto you.

To elaborate, he has high expectations for himself and for you because he knows you’re capable.

He seems very stuck up all the time because he knows he’s good and he should be proud.

Despite his arrogance, he’s a very good older brother as he’s at your every beck and call.

He’s actively looking after you even if he doesn’t show it obviously.

Hoji will always give you good advice and he tells you what you need to hear, not what you want.

He’s a great study buddy, will teach you everything he knows, and even more.

When something doesn’t go as planned, major or minor mistake, he understands that funk you get sent into and easily comforts you.

He can’t be happy if you’re sulking so he’ll do his best to cheer you up by making your favorite snacks and offering his input on how you can improve the next time something similar may happen.

Sen:

Oh, our loving and caring Sen-chan.

Having an older brother like Sen-chan is a godsend.

Old people, young children, Sen gets along with them all so any age gap between the two of you is nothing to be worried about as he can converse with anyone.

On the surface, he’s very nonchalant about things and seems very carefree.

no thoughts head empty

You will never have to worry about anything in this world with him around.

He’ll quell any worries you have within two sentences and you’ll never think any further than you already have.

He’s so patient with you and always listens carefully.

Just like we see in the series, he’s rarely mad and when he is, there is always a good reason for it.

He’ll accompany you anywhere you want to go or do AND he won’t even complain.

Your happiness is one of his priorities, so to make sure you are happy, he'll go out of his way to take you places, etc.

If you made some mistake, then feel bad about it, and that you’re even worried that Sen will be mad, have no fear.

Sen-chan is so observant that he'll notice your situation before you admitted it to him.

He will very gently comfort you in the biggest hug and cheer you up the way he knows best.

Going out for food (his treat of course)!!

ok so the biggest mistake i made this week was starting to binge my favorite toku shows because school starts monday lol

i finished kr kabuto today so :D

im also going to pretend like i didnt show up out of nowhere after being mia

I hoped you enjoyed! please send in any requests or messages if you have any!

thank you, yanny.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

how to save a life bucky barnes x reader

+++++++++

Good old whump 😌 this is so fucking long (wc: 2113)

also i know some people are weird about dogs so just know reader has a very large typically seen as aggressive kind of dog (but hes not, just a little slobbery and awkward lol)

Song: say something by danny worsnop and matty mullins 

tag list: @cynic-spirit

+++++++++

"I can't take your shit anymore. If you won't do anything about it then I will! I quit!"

I yelled, untying my apron and tossing it at my manager. One of the cooks had been harassing me for the last couple weeks and he refused to say or do anything. But I had reached my breaking point.

"Come on y/n, we need you! You can't leave me short staffed like that."

He whined and I shook my head, making my way to the back door.

"No, fuck you Rodney, you can find someone else to deal with it."

I said annoyed, clocking out, grabbing my stuff and storming out the back. I gave him the finger as the door slammed behind me, sighing angrily at myself for not finding a new job sooner.

"Fuck!"

I yelled, kicking the brick wall before leaning into it, shoving my head in my hands. Then I heard a harsh cough. My attention snapped towards the man limping through the alley way, seemingly clutching at his side.

"Hey, are you okay?"

I asked, reaching into my bag and gripping my pepper spray tightly.

"Sir?"

I asked again, moving closer to him in the darkness. When he looked up at me I realized who it was. I had seen pictures of him before. What was his name? James? Yeah captain Americas bear friend. From the museum.

"Help."

He managed before falling face first into the dirt. I gasped as I watched his body go limp. In that moment I wasn't quite sure what to do. I couldn't call someone cause I didn't know who to call, and God it was gonna take everything in me to get him back to my apartment. But I couldn't just leave him here. Shit. I sighed before kneeling down and rolling him over. His face was bruised and bloodied, the same as the knuckles on his hand. He must have really gotten into it with someone. I bit my lip before sitting him up with a groan.

"Okay james, work with me here."

I sighed out, going around him and picking him up. He made a soft noise and I looked at him, his eyelids bobbing open for a second.

"Two blocks, that's all it is."

I told myself more than anything, slinging his arm over my shoulder and walking with him dragging his feet. The whole walk was labored breathing and groaning. He was heavier than he looked but then again he was pretty much solid muscle. And though he wasn't much help I could tell he was trying. That endurance was paying off a little bit. But as soon as we were to my apartment he was out, practically falling through the door after I opened it. I only just caught him, laying him on the floor gently and dragging him to the couch. As I tried to put him on it I could hear my dog whining and tapping his toes in his crate.

"Give me a minute Wolf."

I said half annoyed as I got James flat on his back. When I was content with him laying there I let my massive akita-rottweiler mix out of his crate. He immediately went to James and started sniffing him excitedly until I snapped my fingers at him.

"Hey, leave the nice man alone. Let's go potty."

I said, him barking and running towards the door. I quickly got his leash on and took him down to the streets of new York. We walked a good block before finally heading back to my apartment. After I took Wolfs leash off he was right back in James' face.

"Hey, what did I say? Go lay down."

I instructed, him making a sad sound before pouting his way to his large bed in front of the window. I sighed, looking over James with my hands on my hips. Then I noticed a darkened spot just under his jacket and immediately began to worry.

"Shit. Is that blood?"

I said, stepping closer. I watched his face as I knelt down, pushing the coffee table further away from the couch.

"James I don't know if you can hear me but I'm gonna undo your jacket."

I said in a clear voice, watching to see if he moved but he didn't, prompting me to go on anyway. When the front of it was undone I gasped. He was indeed bleeding. It took me a minute to get it fully off, his shirt following right after. To my surprise his whole torso was covered in scrapes and bruises, along with what seemed to be a gunshot wound. Luckily it was only a graze. That I could treat.

"What the hell were you doing?"

I asked out loud even though I knew he couldn't hear me. I shook my head before going to get the first aid kit from under my bed, wolf following me around my apartment. I guess lucky for him I went to medical school, I mean I flunked out my last semester, but still. That's only three months I'd have to finish before I'm a licensed nurse. I had this. Right?

"God I hope I don't have to sew this man shut."

°°°°°°°°°

The next few hours I just sat at my breakfast bar staring at him in the living room, sipping coffee and trying not to wake Wolf who was now fast asleep at my feet. I was waiting patiently for him to wake up, to make noise, to move even an inch. but it never happened. He was however still breathing, the portable heart monitor I had attached to his finger beeping softly.

When the sun started peering through my curtains though I figured it was best to check on him again. After all, I would need to change his bandages soon so whatever it was that hit him didn't get infected. Wolf for one was very excited again for me to be working on the stranger, running to him and getting in his face again.

"Wolf!"

I scolded, James jolting upright as I pulled the collar back on his large black neck.

"Sorry."

I said through a nervous laugh. He looked around for a moment before looking down and wincing in pain as he touched his abdomen.

"Go lay down."

I said harshly, wolf not quite budging at first. But going when I nudged him with my knee.

"Um, I hope you don't mind that. I did as best I could but it's been a while. I was gonna come change them."

He stared at me, looking to wolf in his bed when he sighed.

"Thank you."

He said softly and I nodded.

"Do you mind laying back down? It's a little easier."

I said and he did, slowly, watching my every move as I knelt beside him. I dug into my kit to get new dressing, peeling the old off and shaking my head. It was still bleeding but there wasn't much I could do about it.

"Do you remember much about last night James?"

I asked and he shook his head no, the dog tags around his neck shifting. I focused intently on what I was doing, hearing wolf sigh again. I rolled my eyes, sending him a playful look.

"You aren't afraid of dogs are you James?"

I asked and he shook his head again.

"Okay wolf, come here."

He stood quickly, panting as he came over and stood beside me, looking like he had a wide smile on his face as he sat down. James looked up at him and smiled back, bringing his right hand to scratch at wolf's head. It was a good distraction as I fixed his wounds for a second time. As I put the stuff away I was forced to remember he was still shirtless.

"Oh uh, I washed your shirt too, it was pretty soaked through."

He nodded, making a pained face as he moved to sit up, letting me help as he did. Wolf took that as an invitation to get on the couch, his large dog body taking up a good portion of it as he laid across James' lap. I looked to the ceiling as he laughed, petting him some more.

"I'm so sorry. If you want him off all you have to do is tell him to get down."

I said standing up, going to the kitchen to wash my hands.

"I don't mind it, he reminds me of an old friend."

He lamented as I came back, wiping my hands on a towel.

"They must've been one hell of a friend."

He nodded slowly.

"Hey uh, you can call me Bucky. if you want."

I reached for his hand and shook it.

"Y/n."

"Thanks for this y/n."

I nodded, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I'm not gonna lie James, uh Bucky, I was a little shook up last night. I had just quit my job when you came stumbling down the alley I almost wasn't sure what to do with you. And I know as a citizen I probably should have called an ambulance but as an ally..."

I paused. he looked a little more into what i had to say now.

"I've, well, I've been around the block with a string of heroes before and none of them could ever actually get help from paramedics. So I did what I could."

He nodded.

"I really appreciate it y/n, I must've been desperate after all, to go to a complete stranger."

He laughed.

"I'm just glad you found me and not someone else. Or who knows what could have happened."

"those were my thoughts exactly."

there was a long pause, me standing awkwardly and both of us staring at the floor. then Wolf barked, taking both of our attention as i jumped at the sudden sound.

"guess he agrees."

i said and he laughed again.

"ya know i really appreciate this. is there a way i could repay you? some how?"

he asked and i shook my head.

"no, i couldn't let you do that. really."

i said quickly, holding my hand out, watching as he struggled to stand.

"i want to."

he insisted, stumbling forward and i caught him. he panted out a pained noise.

"knowing you're safe is enough. come over here, lets get you something to eat."

i said, walking him slowly to the bar i was just sat at and feeling his back muscles strain against my palm as i held him upright.

"careful, you keep taking care of me i might never leave."

he said through a wince as i placed him in the chair.

"promise?"

i laughed and he sent me a soft look before smiling. i could feel the blush run across my face as i moved to the fridge, making a face like i was an idiot for saying that.

"uh i went to school to be a nurse after taking care of my last boyfriend. he was terminally ill but didnt want to stay at a care facility. i guess ive kind of been missing it since he passed last year."

"im sorry."

he said quietly as i pulled things out of the fridge for breakfast.

"its alright. ive been getting by. plus i have wolfie over there to keep me busy."

i said with a smile, the large dog wagging his tail as he sat at the edge of the kitchen.

"im sure he appreciated all you did for him."

bucky said and i nodded once, moving to the stove.

"uh, how do you like your eggs?"

he turned in the chair to look at me.

"what's your specialty?"

i laughed.

"anything but poached."

he smiled widely at me.

"over easy please."

"great. that i can do."

there was another long silence as i began frying the eggs. then he cleared his throat.

"would it be a little Stockholm syndrome-y to ask you out after saving my life?"

i let out a short, loud, laugh before looking at him.

"oh you're serious?"

i asked and he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"unless youre not looking but the least i could do is take you to dinner."

i nodded slowly, plating the food and setting the plates on the counter.

"im not but i wouldnt say no to dinner. and who knows, maybe id be open to seeing you after. maybe with a shirt and not bleeding on my couch."

he picked up the fork and raised it in cheers to me.

"ill take it. and its the least i could do. as a thank you."

"its a date then."

[deja-you]

times new roman | episode eight

t. jefferson x reader

summary: Y/n needs a date. Thomas would be more than happy to oblige. 

word count: 1.8k

masterlist | previous | next

“You’ve kissed me twice now.”

It was a plain, straight-forward statement. There was no expectation or insinuation behind his words, merely a fact. Even though Thomas held no malevolence, Y/n couldn’t help but be defensive. 

“Well, you kissed me back.”

“I’m not going to apologize for that.”

She cocked her head to the side and stared at him. “Then I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

Thomas sighed and shrugged his jacket over his shoulders. “Look, angel, all I’m saying is that you can’t keep kissing me and then pretending like I don’t exist. Either you need to stop kissing me or we need to talk this out.” 

“Talk this out?”

“Yeah. We could go get lunch and talk about it.”

“Sounds kind of like a date.” 

He raised an eyebrow. “Is this you saying no?”

She weighed her options and shrugged. “It’s not.”

“Are you...” Thomas was doing his best not to get his hopes up. “Are you saying yes?”

“Yes, Thomas.”

A full-on smile spread across his face at this. He bounced back and forth on the balls of his feet. “Great! I know this fantastic pla-- damn.”

Y/n raised an eyebrow. “What?”

“I completely forgot,” Thomas sucked his bottom lip under his teeth, his brows furrowing in frustration, “I promised my second cousin I’d meet with him to discuss a case.”

“It’s okay, I understand. We can just have this conversation over text,” she suggested. 

He fervently shook his head. “No, no. I want to take you out on a proper date. I want to do this right.”

“It’s not a big deal,” she laughed, “since when have you cared, anyway?”

“Since it’s been you.” Thomas’s eyes softened.

“Oh.”

Y/n stared at him like she was seeing him for the first time. Thomas really cared about her, didn’t he? She should’ve noticed a long time ago that he was more than just the flirtatious, big-shot lawyer who had responded to her tweet weeks ago. Maybe Y/n would’ve noticed if she hadn’t been so focused on falling in love with him, a task that she was currently failing. 

Thomas checked his watch and grimaced. “Okay, how about this. I’ll run down to meet with John, and then when I get back I’ll take you out to lunch. It will take 45 minutes, an hour tops.”

“Okay.” When he looked at her with those pleading eyes, there was no way Y/n could’ve said no. 

“You’re welcome to use anything in the apartment. The shower, the coffee machine, whatever you need,” he smiled softly, grabbing his briefcase and heading to the door. Before Thomas could close the door behind him, he paused. 

“Don’t leave. Please don’t leave, angel.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Thomas offered her one last smile before leaving his apartment and sprinting down the hallway to minimize the amount of time he would be gone. When he was gone, Y/n finally had a moment to think. That’s when she remembered what she was wearing. 

“Shit,” she muttered. She couldn’t exactly wear an oversized t-shirt and underwear to lunch, and Y/n wasn’t exactly thrilled with the idea of wearing an evening gown, either. Finding her phone on the bedside table, she quickly began to craft a message to Peggy. 

“I don’t like him. I’ve just kissed him a few times and now I’m going on a date with him,” Y/n said fifteen minutes later when Peggy showed up with a change of clothes. 

“You’re in denial.”

“No, I’m in the Upper East Side, currently. Why would I be in a river in Egypt?”

“DENIAL. Not the nile. You know exactly what I meant, don’t play dumb with me.” Peggy crossed her arms, and took a moment to appreciate the dark wood in Thomas’s kitchen. “Now I knew Jefferson was rich, but I didn’t know he was this rich.”

Y/n shrugged. “He comes from old money, and then he has the money he makes as a corporate lawyer on top of that.”

“Is he like, your sugar daddy, then?” Peggy raised an eyebrow. 

“I swear,” Y/n grumbled under her breath. “We both know I don’t need a sugar daddy.”

Peggy shrugged. “You could do a lot worse than Jefferson. That man is fine. I still don’t believe that nothing happened between you two last night.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to have to do to convince you that nothing happened,” Y/n sighed. “I promise you nothing happened.”

“Are you... are you disappointed?” Peggy asked.

“Stop projecting your thoughts onto me,” Y/n snapped, but a part of her had to wonder if she actually was disappointed. She shook her head. “Okay, enough from you. You need to go before Thomas gets back. I’ll catch you up on everything later.”

“You’re calling him Thomas now? I’m sure he’d prefer da--”

“Get out,” Y/n hissed, shoving her friend out the door.

Y/n was in a rush to get dressed and ready before Thomas got back. She finished getting ready in record time, and then found that she was left with nothing to do. After absent-mindedly scrolling through her phone for a few minutes, Y/n grew bored and decided to go on a self-guided tour of Thomas Jefferson’s apartment. 

The first stop was the bathroom. Immaculately clean counter, a large mirror with lights behind it, and a fucking rain shower. Who even owned a rain shower in New York City? Still, Y/n was wishing she had taken Thomas up on that previous offer to use his shower. How good would that rain shower feel? And if she was imagining Thomas’s hands on her in the shower, nobody would have to know. 

After briefly fixing up her appearance in the mirror, Y/n ventured into the kitchen which was connected to a living room with a grand piano, shelves full of books, and an incredible view of New York. Thomas owned nearly every classic book, from To Kill a Mockingbird to A Tale of Two Cities. There were stacks of books on the coffee table because there wasn’t enough room on one of his many shelves, and Y/n was reminded that she had seen even more books in his work office.

“Someone get this man a Kindle,” she muttered to herself as she weaved her way.

Y/n tensed when she heard keys in the door and the handle begin to jiggle. Logically, it would make sense that it was just Thomas returning. But this was still New York City. Y/n grabbed a larger book off the table, something by Tolstoy, and raised it up just in case an intruder walked through the door. 

Finally, the door swung open, and Thomas entered his apartment. He froze when he saw Y/n staring at him, book raised in the air in preparation for attack. Thomas blinked a few times and adjusted his glasses -- he hadn’t been wearing them this morning, had he? How did he look so good in them?

“Angel, were you about to assault me with my own library?” He asked curiously. 

Y/n cringed inwardly and lowered the book. “I just wanted to be prepared in case it wasn’t you and someone was breaking in.”

Thomas laughed and shook his head. “What was your plan exactly? To subdue your attacker with tales from Napoleonic era Russia?”

“I don’t know, I hadn’t really thought that through. Maybe I’d throw it at them and make my escape,” she shrugged.

He set down his briefcase on the kitchen counter and made his way over to Y/n. Thomas stopped when they were standing nearly chest to chest and leaned forward to take the book out of her hand, his grin never faltering. 

“I’d ‘preciate it if you didn’t throw my books, angel. This is a collector’s edition.” Thomas placed the book safely back on the coffee table. “So how about that lunch?”

Y/n allowed a small smile. “Yes. Lunch. I’m starving.”

“Great! Well, not great that you’re starving-- I just mean, well. I want to take you to this place I know that has the best French cuisine in America.” His eyes lit up the way they always did when he started talking about something he was passionate about. The same way they lit up when he looked at her. “The head chef and I go way back.”

Y/n wouldn’t outwardly show how happy it made her to see Thomas this excited, but she felt all warm and cozy on the inside. Together, Thomas and Y/n left his apartment and they began walking a few blocks down to the restaurant that Thomas was so excited about.

As they walked, Thomas hummed softly, an ever-present grin on his face. Y/n felt herself staring at him while they walked, and quickly looked away when she saw him glance at her. She bit her lip gently, still trying to comprehend that she was actually going on a date with Thomas Jefferson. She must have been thinking hard, because eventually Y/n realized neither of them had spoken in a while.

“So how was coffee with your cousin?” She asked nervously, trying to fill the silence. 

“Not my cousin,” Thomas reminded her, “my second cousin.”

“And that matters because?” Y/n raised an eyebrow at Thomas’s defensiveness.

“Because he’s just so... liberal.” Thomas glanced at her and gave a sheepish smile. “No offense, of course.”

“None taken?” 

“Just can’t stand ‘im sometimes,” he shrugged. “Gets on my nerves.”

“Then why did you ditch me to get coffee with him?” She shoved her hands in her pockets and absently focused on matching her stride with Thomas’s.

“He’s family, I’d hear it from Ma if I didn’t treat him with that Southern hospitality. My second cousin, John Marshall’s just starting off in law and my aunt thought I could give him some tips,” he said. Thomas glanced at Y/n, “sorry, angel, am I boring you with this?”

“No, no,” Y/n insisted. “I’m fascinated. Is he working on an interesting case?”

Thomas grinned. “Actually, yeah. He’s working on this criminal case where a defendant had been coerced into a confession. Somehow John’s roped me into being his co-counsel.”

Y/n’s eyebrows shot up into her hair line. “You’re working on a criminal justice case?”

He glanced at you, his grin widening at the look on your face. “I know you like to think I’m just a corporate sellout, but I do my fair share of pro bono cases.”

“Didn’t realize you had any expertise in that area of law,” she said with a shrug.

“First job out of law school, I spent some time working at the D.A.’s office. Got a lot of experience around prosecutors and defense attorneys. Thought I’d go into criminal law for a while,” he mused.

Y/n studied his features carefully. “What made you change your mind?”

“Well, angel, when the George Washington comes knocking on your door and specifically asks for you, you don’t turn him down,” Thomas laughed.

“Ah, I see. Do you ever wish you hadn’t switched to corporate law?” She asked.

They had arrived at the restaurant Thomas had picked out, and they paused on the sidewalk as he considered the question.

“Sometimes I think about it,” he admitted. Thomas looked over at Y/n, smiled, and pulled the door open for her. “But I think I made the right decision.”

tags:

@dovesgrangers @lovelymrvl  @wiffle-snuffles @thisistrashperson @comingupwithacoolnameishard @wordvomit-foryourmind @newtonslawoffuck @isharemydeathdaywithfeanor @i-know-i-can @imperial-martian @fangirling-central @dannighost @ateliefloresdaprimavera @justahappylilblog @fanfic-addict-98 @a-hopeless-fan @and-claudia @nicolemelton @youtxbemusic @reidcult @eirenism @fantasy-of-fiction @iamsuperconfusedallthetime-dead @a-midwinter-night-dream-86 @rycbar-221b @bethanymccauley @fanworrior @gggamingz @nemesis729 @ibeaesthethicc  @yodas-padawan @sabbrriiinnaa @micaiahmoonheart @beautifulfound @moondustmemories @ct-salad @teenwaywardasgardian @bj-is-a-graduateof-julliard @ruebx @katierpblogg @speedypartyducksuitcase @fangirling-central @idkkbaleighh @ballerinafairyprincess @spn-pogues @gryffin-claw @elegantbutedgy @1elysium @sierraisnotreal @ssanjuniperoo @collectivefandom @lilbabyhoneypot @lunariasilver @justcallmemama @atleastidontdotiktoks @mistrose23 @checkurwindow @fluffydmonkey @pettyjayy @rosesinmars @cubedtriangle @itsjube @zeelmol @ems-alexandra @yavin4andor @daveeds-whore @someinsanefangirl @theatrenerd86 @poetnstuff @ohsoverykeri-blog @im-sidney @omgyouburtmyeggos @astralaffairs @nyxie75 @mydearestlaurens @janessawonderwall @the-middle-oldest-child @emtinuviel

let me know if you want to be added to the taglist :)

[words-for-holland]

Happier (2) | T.H.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Summary: Kate and Harrison question Y/N on why she really left Tom. Natalie and Harrison become Tom’s shoulder to cry on. Another message?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8

A/N: By popular demand, Ive decided to continue Happier! Thank you for the support !

Traumatic

The only word that can describe Y/N and Tom’s experience after being apart for a whole week. The feeling where you wake up from an awful nightmare praying to never experience it again. The only difference, this was no nightmare. It was very much real.

Happiness and love were now just meaningless words for them. Days and nights can pass, but the emptiness in their hearts stayed. While Y/N had her fair share of reasons for being apart, Tom still couldnt understand. She had to have known that no matter what, Tom would always pick her. With the slightest ounce of hope, he’d text Y/N at least once a day to make sure she was okay. But each unanswered text brought a wave of disappointment.

“Hey mate...Cmon I know you’re waiting for her, but now’s not the time.” Harrison explained, his heart breaking for his best friend. “You need to give her the space she needs.”

“I just cant believe she really left me.” Tom muttered. His head hung low, hair an unruly mess, and his facial hair sprouting, but his eyes remained the same. Brown, puffy and welled up with tears. “All because of these stupid fucking rumors!” He yelled out in frustration throwing his phone at the closet. Tom sulked into the closet to grab his phone, right next to it was a small box that contained a promise he was going to make to her, had everything not gone all to shit.

“Shit...” Harrison muttered. “You were going to propose to her.” He knew Tom was bound to pop the question to Y/N, but he never thought he’d see the day that she would fall out and leave his best friend. Yet, it all seemed off. In the time he knew Y/N, she was never the one to give up, especially when it came to Tom.

“Yeah...I was going to ask on our anniversary next month. I love her...more than anything.” Tom confessed, staring at the diamond cut ring. “Before she left, she wished me happiness. Saying I’d be happier with Natalie, but i just don’t believe that.”

Harrison was about to open his mouth, when Natalie popped in their doorway, giving a small sympathetic smile. “Hey...I heard you two in the hallway. Is everything alright?” She asked.

“Mmm..Nat. I don’t think now’s the —”

“No it’s okay. She can come in.” Tom interrupted Harrison as he gestured Natalie to sit with them.

“Look. I know you’re upset by the whole thing, but you shouldn’t have to be.” She explained, her hand rubbing Tom’s for comfort. “She left you. For what? Because she couldn’t ignore a few comments about us...When there wasnt an us to begin with? She just didn’t care about you as much as you thought she did.”

“Yeah, but Natalie this is Y/N and Tom. The bond between them was supposed to be unbreakable. They’re practically soulmates.” Harrison argued. “It doesn’t mean that Y/N didnt care for him.”

“Look Im just saying if she really loved Tom with all her heart she wouldnt have left him because of me.” Natalie spoke out, flipping her dirty blonde hair to the side. She grabbed Tom’s hand again, and gently stroked soft circles. For Tom it felt good, but it wasn’t Y/N’s touch. Y/N would have traced squiggly lines on the top of his hand because it was less boring.

Harrison scoffed at her gesture. Sure he had known Natalie to be a flirt at times but never picked her to be the friend that got too friendly with another after a messy breakup. “I’ll be back. Have to make a call.” He muttered as he walked away from the most cringey and awkward situation a person has ever been in.

As Harrison made his call, Natalie scooted closer to Tom, leaning on his shoulder as she wrapped her arms around him. “Tom...I know it hurts, but you have to believe she wasn’t right for you. There are so many girls out there that could treat you better.”

“What like you?” Tom rolled his eyes as he put the ring away.

“If you wanted me, yes I could. I’d handle your career and your personality better than anyone else. I dont want to seem forward but I always imagined you’d end up with me. Its silly but I wanted that with you, the whole romantic movie experience.” She explained, endlessy spilling out her idealistic fantasy with him.

Tom was shocked by what he heard. To him Natalie was just a friend he had known most of his life. Maybe there was one time he did have a slight crush on her but that was just it. It was an attraction and nothing more. He thought for a great deal, wondering if this was where it all went wrong. Maybe he should have listened to Y/N more. “Tom did you hear what I said?” Natalie spoke up again, this time threading her fingers on the nape of his neck.

Tom shrugged her off, as he shook his head. He couldnt do this right now, he needed to be alone. “Look lets deal with this another time. I just...I really need to run right now...alone.” Tom excused himself as he grabbed his airpods and quickly left the room. Truthfully he always hated running, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

Meanwhile back in the States, Y/N still felt the affects of her heartbreak. She trudged through the New York apartment like a zombie with no purpose, waiting for someone to finish her off already. It wasn’t like she wanted to break it off, but it was the only logical solution at the time. The only problem, it built off a lifetime of regrets.

Kate watched Y/N from afar, the message she read still clouding her mind. Her best friend was terrible at keeping secrets, let alone she was always the first person Y/N would go to if she ever had one. She observed her very closely, waiting for Y/N to come to her.

Kate felt the usual vibrations of someone calling her phone. Again another unknown number? It was almost similar to the one Y/N had recieved. Maybe it was a robo-call or a psychotic fan, which if it was she’d have to talk with Tom about. A mental note she promised she would get too.

“Listen I dont know who you are, but if its the same person that sent my best friend a threatening message that she’s better off breaking up with her boyfriend...I swear to God I’ll fucking punch you in the face.” Kate threatened, her eyes glaring and fist balling up on the counter.

“Whoa...chill out. It’s me, Harrison. Im a friend of Tom’s.”

Kate looked up with surprise with a helpful pinch of embarassment and relief. “Oh. Hey, what’s up?”

“Nothing. I just wanted to know how Y/N’s holding up. I know she broke up with Tom, but something’s just not right about this. Has she told you anything?” Harrison confessed.

Kate shook her head as she continued to watch Y/N lie on the couch mindlessy scrolling through an already watched list on Netflix. “No. It’s like her soul left her body. I can barely get through to her.”

“Blimey, it’s the same with Tom. This is ridiculous, we should just get them together so they can talk about it.” Harrison groaned, thinking how stupid this all was. They could have saved each from the heartbreak and depression. “Are you sure there’s nothing she told you?”

Kate hesitated for a moment on whether she should answer. “Well... there may be one thing, but she didnt talk per say. It’s more of what I found.”

Harrison stood up, intrigued by her response. “Oh really what did you find?”.

Kate was about to answer until she hear a text go off on her phone.

Unknown:

I wouldnt say anything if I were you 😚

She squinted at the text when another popped up.

Unknown:

That is...if you want to keep your friendship with Y/N 🤫

“Uhh..it was nothing actually. Just found a wallpaper of her and Tom. She hasnt changed it since they broke up and she got a couple of messages......from Tom.” She lied haphazardly.

Harrison was confused and disappointed by her answers, knowing it led to nothing. While Kate was a great liar among all things, this wasn’t her best work. Of course it was all planned in hopes that Harrison, if he was really smart enough, could figure it out.

Harrison was not that smart, but he was a good lie detector, and that was all he needed to know something was definitely up and Natalie, although may be a good friend of his, became a prime suspect.

Taglist:

@hollanddolanfangirl @ifilosemyselfagain @hevjadams

[letfatewritethewords]

I process things with art. I process with written words in the hopes that one day it can be spoken without my voice shaking. This week has been one for the books.. and I decided to share. This is long, but I want to remember what I’m learning.. how I’m processing.. if you decide to read, thank you. If not, this will still be here as a reminder of my progress every year.

I always tell people that there was no reason for my name, but it’s a lie. I’m named after Samantha on BeWitched. My grandfather loved that show and suggested it when my mother couldn’t decide. I was born in early September and that makes me a Virgo. Astrology is one of my favorite things. There’s something extraordinary about the idea that we’re connected to the universe by the positioning of the stars. Sometimes it’s so vague.. but other times, it’s right on the nose and my horoscopes will make me cry. Speaking of that, I’m an empath and a 2. When I’m unhealthy, I’m a 4 and If you know what any of that means, I’d love to talk to you more about it. Winter is my favorite season. Fall is a close second. I love the snow and how muted everything is. I like the quiet, the beauty. Sometimes, the light from the sun will shimmer off a fresh coat of snow on the ground. It is absolutely blinding, but I’d still stare, and when the snow fell at night, I’d watch it under the street light across from my house and it felt like time stood still. When I was little, I would lay in the yard full of snow, alone, in my puffy suite, until my fingers and toes would go numb from the cold, listening to the silence, but the best part of those days was going back into my grandparents house and warming up with hot coco made on the stove, wrapping myself in a soft blanket and watching old movies with my grandfather. To me, the Winter is magical. My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I’m an introvert but I love people. I like to observe, I like to really understand how the mind works and Im eager to help. I thrive in controlled chaos. I like puzzles, I love music, I like crafts, I like to fix things because grandpa always taught me that nothing is to broken to fix. Nothing. No one.

This is the light. This is the part of me that I give willingly to anyone I meet. I wear it on my sleeve. It’s only the light. Until the last 2 years.. this was all I could give of myself because I’ve always been scared of the dark.

The darkest part of me lasted 8 years, my rock bottom lasted 4.5, but as a whole it’s taken up almost 12 years of my life. Sometimes I worry that all I'm ever going to be is this thing that happened to me. That this will define me for the rest of my life and I need to remind myself that I’m a person that can live separate from an event.

I went to the police station this week, I filled out more forms. I’ve filled out so many forms over the last 2 years. For an emergency restraining order this time. For Florida this time. I knew it would eventually follow me here but typhus felt too soon. The clerk called me brave. I smile and thank them every time but I never know how to respond to that. She has no idea how weak it feels and I mean.. how could she. This is the right choice, the obvious choice, the smart choice. In a different situation, it’s one of the many steps I’d be urging someone else to take. In all the chaos, all the hurt, in all the anger and sadness.. it always circles back to “I loved him”. I did. I wanted to fix him. I wanted to see him grow and heal and if I loved him hard enough for the both of us, it would’ve evened out eventually… right?

I failed.

He was always who he was, but I was young and naive and ready to fix the whole world. When I was 18 and we were free, I would’ve told you he saved me. Now that I’m in my 30’s… and he’s in prison and I’m in limbo.. I don’t know what I’d tell you. He didn’t save me, but he didn’t destroy me either. I had every opportunity to tap out and give up.. but I grew into a person I might not have been if I never met him.

Am I angry? All of the time.

Am I scared? Yes.

I see things more clearly now though. People talk about how you never know someone’s story, and that’s because we are experts at playing pretend like we have it all figured out until we’re alone and have to face truest selves. The facade is the hardest thing to give up. Some people saw through mine and there are others, who have built their own, that never will. I share posts about what I’ve learned, how I see people, how I’ve try to treat people with grace and teach children with love and patience in hopes that a little of that sinks into whoever it reaches, but I very rarely show the journey. Partly because I know the details are gruesome and that’s not for everyone, but mostly because I’m scared.

How will you see me?

What will you think?

I’m learning that I’m not this big awful thing that happened to me. I was never anyone’s property and I’m not chained to it anymore. I was very much lied to and manipulated and hurt long enough that it flipped onto me and I carried it without missing a step. I wanted to love him so much that I would heal him. Instead, he “loved” me so much it almost killed me, and he did call it love. Enough times that he re-defined it and I didn’t use that word for a very long time in any meaningful situation. He, for better or for worse, drastically changed the trajectory of my life.

But it’s ok.

I’m wounded but I’m healing. I’m lonely, but I’m learning how to slowly welcome more people in and step out of my comfort zone. If I’m being honest, I’m relearning a lot of things, including how to exist in a world where I have room to make mistakes and fail. I can say or do the wrong thing and be gently corrected for it by my people and move on … sans violence. There are no words for amount of relief I feel because of that truth.

Is it over? No.

He was sentenced to 7 years last year and every year around mid July early August there is an opportunity to apply for an appeal based on his behavior, which will always be immaculate because he is not as tough as he thinks he is. This means that if he applies and it goes to trial, I’m also notified and have to reappear, show any new evidence, and reexplain why he needs to stay there for the safety of others and myself. Telling my story once a year on a whim to a room full of strangers, always men, so they can decide my fate, as well as the fate of this “upstanding young man with a good head on his shoulders” (actual words used during my initial rape/domestic abuse trial against him), was never what I imagined finally turning him in would look like. I really never thought that after everything, his sentence wouldn’t even be as long as our relationship. The original sentence was 5 years. After he got out on a Governor Cuomo Covid related prison loophole and broke his parole almost immediately, he was sentenced to another 2 on top of that. He has 6 left. We talk about how flawed our system is, but really seeing it is a different kind of punch. Women aren’t believed. There’s a reason so many of these crimes go unreported, and why so many women die at the hands of angry men. The hoops you have to jump through are miles high and on fire, and when you and the advocate show up armed only with your truth, your tears and a little evidence from one night at a bar when he got to drunk and forgot he was in public, it’s very easy for a judge to rule on the softer side. Because, as you all know, we’d never want to ruin a wealthy mans life unless there’s cold, hard, reason to.

Seeing his face when they read out his sentence, after years of terror, was satisfying to say the least and if I hadn’t been so numb to get through the hearing, I would’ve enjoyed it more. I will never forget going to a trusted friends house after that hearing and being completely overwhelmed with all of the emotions. Relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, fear.. so many I couldn’t express.. all at once because the novocain wears off and numb isn’t forever and I fell asleep with their dog after a lot of crying. I’d be lying though if I said that 18 year old in me didn’t feel a loss. I grew up with incredible grandparents that did amazing things in teaching me how to love people and be a good human, but no one can protect us from everything. I also grew up with a mother who fights demons of her own and never had the capacity to love two kids. In a situation like that, someone becomes the punching bag. I became the punching bag and desperately looked for ways out, an opportunity to run.. and I ran right into him, who accepted me with open arms for the first time in my young, very inexperienced life.. and I followed him blindly and he was my whole world. Until I was 27, I didn’t have a guide. By the grace of God I landed into a community in Florida that slowly helped me realize my worth.

So.. what now.

How do we fix what our parents and past broke?

How do you reparent yourself?

The mental health journey is proving to be my biggest struggle yet. There’s no more outside factors, it’s just me and the lies that have fed me for years and altered how I think and feel and understand the world. I can feel myself frustrating people I’ve let close to me. I feel myself getting nervous and pushing people away. Sometimes I can catch it and regroup, other times that nasty little voice is too loud and I’m exhausted. My goodness though, how cool is it to learn so much about yourself? I know I have the capacity to love that broken part of me eventually, but it’s still hard to face. Getting to learn and understand the reason behind your actions is terrifyingly amazing. I am proud of this journey. Even when I don’t always come up on top. It’s hard to see the progress while you’re in it, but laying it all out like this.. I can safely say I’m never going to be that 18 year old girl ever again. Some days this journey looks different, some days the darkness wins, because healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it’s one step forward, 2 steps back… but nothing is too broken to fix.. and I will never call that darkness home again.

[mileycyprus-hill]

Chpt 1, Chpt 2, Chpt 3, Chpt 4, Chpt 5

Also can be found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22218607/chapters/58951003

Thank you to @oodanijadeoo​ for beta-reading this chapter and giving such great, constructive feedback! 

Chapter 6

You leave the apartment above Dr. Birner’s office with reluctance, thinking back to that brief period you were recuperating. You were in a peaceful limbo. No worries, no anxious thoughts of the future. For one week, you lied there with your infant son, living in the moment. You basked in his cherubic glory and thought of nothing else. For all you knew, there was nothing beyond those four walls. Just you and Isaiah.

And it was perfect.

You remember feeling Arthur’s eyes on you. He’d visit once a day at the apartment and spend a few nights on the floor of your room, despite your small protests. While holding Isaiah in his arms after his feeding, you’d catch that particular look Arthur gave you. It was a look of uncertainty; a question begging to be asked.

That question tortures you both.

He didn’t want to ask it and you didn’t want to hear it, but you both knew it had to be said.

Now, you finally have the strength to walk and ride in the jostling wagon without pain. The reality of your situation soon returns as you lie in the wagon. Leaning back on the mattress that comfortably lines the bed of the wagon, you look over to Susan who sits by your side. She holds your infant son in the swaddle of a soft wool blanket, gently caressing his cheek with her index finger.

It’s not often you get to see Susan grow soft like this. Her life has been ridden hard and rough and it often shows in her moods. One can hardly blame her. She’s proven she’s come out of it stronger and more alive than any other woman on earth.

You envy her strength.

Swaying with the rolling wagon wheels on the trail, you replay the conversations in your head: Dutch, Arthur, Dr. Birner. All of them asking for a decision. All of them telling you what’s best.

Can any decision be the right decision? You wonder.

.…

Arthur has become an enigma to you in these passing days, you realize. He often gives Isaiah attention and offers help whenever he can. But something deep down inside you gives you this cynical notion that he’s saving himself up. That he’s only doing these things and acting paternal to get you to trust him.

He’s going to have to play his cards soon, and he needs an ace.

You try to shake these thoughts away, but they soon return whenever Dutch checks on you both on numerous occasions.

“Has a decision been made between you two?” He would ask.

His check-ins are a now weekly occurrence. So often that you now avoid crossing his path so he won’t have a chance to bring it up.

You hope you could reply ‘no’ long enough that he’d soon give up. You’re too fearful to say what you truly want. And you know Dutch is not one to forget or give up.

But you truly hope this time he would.

However, you forget the one person Dutch could still corner and persuade to change this whole situation.

Arthur.

…

It’s three months to the day of Isaiah’s birth and you worry if you can finally breathe. You hope to continue with the routine of a child in the gang now that it’s been long enough; allow the members of the gang to grow attached. Little Isaiah grows stronger and more lovable each day. Even John has taken a liking to him. He approaches you and Isaiah sitting underneath a shady lean-to. You sit cross-legged on the blanket while supporting Isaiah in your hands. His little back lays on your forearms, with his soft head resting in your palms. The ruffled hem of his crisp, white baby gown cascades down your arm. The sun was so warm before you retreated to the shade. Through the light cotton, you can still feel a little sweat on his back from the desert heat.

“Can I hold him?” John asks meekly. He slowly drops to his knees before you and watches Isaiah curiously.

Looking up at John, you reply, “Sure. Make sure to support his neck, and watch his head.”

You adjust your baby in your arms and carefully transfer him to John, who fearfully holds him like holding a wounded animal. John keeps an elbow awkwardly high to support Isaiah’s head and you hold back a chuckle at the sight of him. The corner of his lip upturns into a nervous smile.

He catches you grinning at him and his face turns sour.

“What’s so funny?” He asks defensively.

You reply genuinely, “Nothing. Just…you look cute together.”

You watch as Isaiah babbles and attempts to grab at the strange young man holding him. His chubby legs kick and kick with such energy and excitement of seeing a new person.

John scoffs at your remark and opens his mouth to retort. Though he’s quickly distracted by Isaiah wiggling in his arms and he grows nervous at keeping him still.

“Uhhh,” John groans uncomfortably. “I think..oh shit, I’m gonna drop him.”

You giggle and quickly relieve John of his anxiety, fluidly scooping Isaiah from his stiff arms into yours. Isaiah babbles and squeals in your arms, testing his voice with his high pitches. The soothing rocking of your arms and the heat of the air settles his excitement and he soon grows weary.

For several minutes, you and John watch his eyelids slowly fall and rise every couple of seconds as he jerks himself awake, kicking a leg and trying his hardest not to sleep. He’d attempt this a few times until he could no longer fight it. The warmth and comfort of your body allows him to relax and finally sleep in your arms.

John sits cross-legged in front of you in silence, watching Isaiah fall into a deep sleep. He watches his little stubby fingers attempt to grip at your forearm tightly before relaxing. Moving his gaze up to your face, John notices your smile is gone and replaced with a forlorn look.

He asks quietly, “What’s wrong?”

The heavy weight of guilt grows in your chest and you lift your head with glassy eyes. As you break your attention away from Isaiah to John, your chin quivers and a rogue tear slides down your cheek. With a shaky breath, you answer.

“I’m afraid,” You say with a cracked voice. “I thought everything would be better once he’d be born but, I feel trapped.”

John looks to you with understanding. For the past few months, he’s watched you and Arthur struggle against each other. He had secretly grown proud of how strong you kept yourself under Arthur and Dutch’s pressure. He knows Arthur’s only reciting what Dutch tells him, never thinking for himself and that aggravates John. He thinks himself far younger than Arthur and yet so much more headstrong and independent. John had been watching you struggle with your options in silence and he worries you’ll choose one you’ll regret.

This is his opportunity to tell you what he thinks.

He attempts to console you, speaking quietly and honestly.

“Everyone loves him, (Y/N). I can see that.” He says.

Another tear escapes your eye, painting your cheek.

“It don’t seem to matter how much everyone loves him,” you croak. “What matters is what Dutch thinks and what kind of life he should have.”

“But your life’s been better since you joined. And mine. And Arthur’s!” John exclaims in a hush. “Don’t you think? What makes ‘im think we can’t give him the best life with us?”

John points to Isaiah who remains unstirred in your arms.

“Because we’re criminals, John.” You say with dread, letting Dutch’s repeated lectures finally sink in.

“And who’s to say I won’t resent him later on? Treat him like my parents did me?”

Those last words tear into your heart like a jagged blade. Who’s to say you won’t inherit your parents awful temperament towards your child? Will you truly love him as he grows, or will you see him as just a mistake that took your freedom away?

John’s words grow heated in response to your self deprecation.

“Cause you’re not them, (Y/N),” he hisses through his teeth in frustration, “You’re better than them. I know you love Isaiah. Because if you didn’t, you’d leave him the first chance you get.”

He speaks bitterly in remembrance of his own childhood. The grief from loss and abandonment is all too familiar to him. He stares at Isaiah with his dark eyes glowing in a mix of resentment and woe. He knows from experience that little Isaiah is too fragile to live and grow without the love of a mother. Or a father.

“Just promise me one thing, will ya?” He asks, his own voice cracked and quiet.

Staying silent, you look into his eyes and nod.

“Don’t send him to an orphanage…please. Find him a family. A good one.” He confides solemnly. His head droops low and he lightly fumbles with the tip of his boot.

“Of course, John…” You assure him.

With his head still held low, John reaches forward and grasps at Isaiah’s hand. He holds the tiny hand in between his thumb and index finger, rubbing at the top of Isaiah’s hand with his thumb. Isaiah remains asleep while he curls his little fingers over John’s finger, holding onto him tightly.

“I promise.” You whimper through quiet tears.

…

The sun is dropping from its high noon perch and its heat begins to cool into the late afternoon. You stand by the food wagon, behind the work table with a variety of vegetables laid before you. Carrots and parsnips in orange, purple and white and fresh, crisp celery lay in bright contrast against the dark and scratched wooden table.

Your heart remains sunken from your gloomy exchange with John, and the mundane task of prepping supper has left your mind open to racing thoughts of what-if’s and should-I’s.

You barely hear the familiar footsteps belonging to the one who shares those thoughts with you. Both of your minds are unknowingly linked with troubled ruminations. The heavy strides step forward to you while your head remains low and your eyes focused on the rations before you. The tip of his boots come into view at the corner of your eyes, but you don’t react.

“(Y/N),” Arthur greets with hesitation, “We need to talk.”

“About what?” You ask, sensing his mood and growing on edge.

You already know what he wants to talk about, but you want to hear him say it. You want him to reflect on the terrible request before speaking.

Arthur fidgets with a carrot on the wooden table, rolling it back and forth on the un-level surface with his dirty hands. The speed of the rolls grow with your mutual irritance. He feels the tips of his ears flushing red. This decision hurts him too, but he hopes to make it quick before it can get worse. Never has he made such a paramount decision like this. The life he was thrust into at a young age taught him to react, to not waste time with decisions of morality, only survival.

In the past several years, he often left these choices to Dutch, because the man would take it upon himself to do so. This was something that Arthur had grown used to. Something he trusted.

Leave it to me, son. I’ll think of something. Dutch’s words echo in Arthur’s ears.

But how can Arthur tell you? Standing before him with a knife in your hands, how can he tell you that while he doesn’t like it either, it’s actually for the best?

The knife in your hand hits against the cutting board a little harder with each slice.

Watching you carefully, Arthur speaks, “I wanna talk about us.”

You involuntarily crease your eyebrows in confusion, your eyes squinting and still focusing on the vegetables. The smell of boiling beef stock in the pot next to you would’ve made you sick just a few months ago before Isaiah was born, but you’re too irritated to care now.

Neither of you wanted to cross this road again. But there’s only so many detours you can take before you reach the fork again.

Your voice slices into him like the knife through the carrot, which you snatch from his light grip.

“What makes you think there’s an ‘us’?” You say bitterly. Your tone is a little more than a hurried breath, but is loud in your heart.

Ignoring your bite, Arthur rests his hands on the table and leans his weight forward on them. He drops his chin low, watching your hands work quickly in repetitive movements.

“I wanna know what your plan is. For Isaiah.” He says.

The knife stops in your hand and your grip tightens against the handle.

“It’s too early, Arthur. He’s only three months old yet.” You say, steadying the frightened tremble in your voice.

He leans himself further over the table, bringing his face closer to yours but you keep your gaze low to the chopped vegetables, only feeling his breath on your forehead as he speaks.

“I know, but when? The longer we wait, the harder it’s gonna be.” Arthur speaks in a distinct whisper, meant for your ears only and no other.

If your thoughts hadn’t been racing, you could’ve detected the fear and reluctance in his voice as he spoke. You could’ve noticed the tremors in his hands and fingers, left empty to tremble in fear without an item to fidget with. You could’ve seen the tension in his broad shoulders growing stiff at the emotional weight that bears down on them.

“I don’t know when, Arthur.” You spit, “I can’t think with everyone breathing down my neck like this.”

“But you ain’t alone—“

“Oh, I ain’t?” You finally draw your gaze to him and stare into his eyes with a painful glare. “I don’t think you understand. You may be his father but, in the end it’s my decision to make. Not anyone else’s, regardless of what they think.”

“Just lemme help,” Arthur pleads.

“I think you’ve done enough,” you reply bitterly, “You’re a father now, Arthur. Start actin’ like one.”

Your words flood his ears and leave an awful dry pit in the back of his throat. He remains silent, allowing your statement to pierce him and the venom to fill his veins. It makes its way to his heart, filling it in each painful contraction.

You finish your harsh words, “Now leave me alone.”

Arthur complies and turns away. He takes his first step to leave before stopping himself.

With a slight pivot of his head, he utters, “Y’know, you keep this up and soon you will be alone with no one else to blame but yerself.”

…

Three weeks pass and you refuse to start the conversation again, despite Arthur’s pressing. Deep down you wonder, is it selfish of you to want to keep Isaiah? To keep Arthur tied to you this way?

You would never try to keep Arthur leashed to camp like a dog; to hold him hostage in a false sense of domesticity. You’re more than willing to raise this child on your own. Even if Arthur had this sudden change of heart and wanted to be rid of his mistake. You at least, are mature enough to step up to the plate, you tell yourself.

It’s been a few days since you’ve seen Arthur and John. They had been sent by Hosea to follow a tip about a train carrying payroll for a silver mine. After your argument with Arthur, you found yourself distancing from him again. Which you hated and it caused you much pain, but you forced yourself to; to avoid hurting Arthur again with such unkind words.

Laying Isaiah down to bed in your tent, you step out to walk across camp, towards Hosea’s tent. You see him sitting in his chair in front of his large tent, reading a book like always. An oil lamp sits beside him on a small table, cascading him in a soft, golden glow. Your thoughts remained troubled lately, and you hope Hosea would preach some wise words to calm your worries.

You hear hushed voices from behind one of the supply wagons and slow your pace, eyes slowly peering to the covered wagon. You stop with your feet planted when you recognize them.

“She’s still nursing, Dutch.” A voice whispers. Miss Grimshaw. “It’s too early to separate them.” She says. You detect apprehension in her tone.

“I know that Susan. But think about this. We’re getting too comfortable here and the law is startin’ to notice. We’ve got to move now, and we can’t travel with a baby. It’s too dangerous.” A deep, authoritative voice persuades.

Dutch.

He continues, “She needs to think about that. We need to think about the rest of the gang. We can’t afford any distractions.”

“But—“

“No. Exceptions cannot be afforded now. This is the safest option…for everyone.”

“And Arthur?”

A pause lingers.

“He’ll understand.”

Stepping swiftly and quietly, you turn to retreat to your tent. Closing the flaps of the entrance, you sob quietly into your hands. A few short cries are muffled by your palms. Your heart hammers in your chest and its beats roar loudly in your ears. After a moment, you release yourself with a deep, shaky breath.

We’re leaving? No, no, no, no. Not now. Not right now.

This can’t be happening.

Your cot gently creaks as you lie on your side and watch Isaiah. He sleeps soundly and unstirred in the little bassinet next to you. Earlier this week, you were persuaded by Hosea to have your tent moved closer to Arthur’s instead of near the perimeter, away from everyone else. Even though you were oblivious, Hosea could see the wanting in Arthur’s eyes as he watched you and Isaiah together. Arthur wants to help. He truly does. Unfortunately, you were blind to it.

“Closer to his father,” Hosea’s words repeat in your thoughts. “Make him get up with you when Isaiah wakes in the middle of the night. Don’t think you gotta do this all by yourself.”

A swirl of voices and past conversations enter and exit your anxious mind. You try so hard to silence them, but they break through the door of your conscience and demand to be heard.

Before long, the demanding voices exhaust you and you fall into a troubled sleep.

You’re walking along a red sand beach. The grains of sand give under your weight and hold onto the shapes of your feet and toes. The tide is low and the dry beach stretches out for miles towards the horizon. The cold white caps of the sea lap gently in the distance. The sky is bleak and gray, and the cold air bites at your exposed skin. You move to draw your shawl closer, but find you’re wearing only a thin, white nightgown made of silk. You find yourself standing alone in the middle of the dry ocean bed, the growing tide laps at your feet. Looking down at your bare feet in the sand, you see your pregnant belly. It’s so large, you can barely see your toes.

A voice calls behind you. It sounds so far away and distorted, you can barely make it out. You want to turn to see who’s calling, but you’re stuck facing the horizon.

Your body feels like it’s stuck in a vat of molasses. Every movement of your muscles is slowed and you’re snapped back to your original stance when you try to break its grip. The unidentifiable hold on you is forcing you to watch the growing tide as the water rises higher and higher. The voice behind you grows louder and louder, its call becoming clearer. It’s a familiar voice shouting your name, and it begs you to return to shore. You desperately want to run to the voice, to be wrapped in its warm embrace, its rich timbre filling your ears, but the hold on you refuses to break.

A white-capped wave rolls towards you, high as the cliffs behind you. The sound of the approaching wave is deafening, like an oncoming train. It muffles the screams and hollers of the voice behind you. You’re knocked back as the wave crashes into you like a wall of stone. A sudden pain jolts like an electric current in your stomach, and something slips out between your legs. You move to grab it with both hands, but it slips out of your grip. Still submerged in the dark waters, you open your eyes and see Isaiah sinking below you. His cries echo in the water. You try to scream his name, but the water fills your lungs and no sound can escape your throat. Swimming further and further down to catch him, he slips out of your grip and you find he’s sinking so much faster.

Reaching your hand out, he seems so close. Just a little more and you can grab his heel. A rough hand grips at your arm, pulling you up towards the surface, away from your baby. You claw at its grip, but it’s holding you so tightly that it digs painfully deep into your muscles and bone. Gold rings adorn the fingers of the hand, with coarse black hair on its knuckles. Screaming and thrashing, you bite and claw at the hand, but its burning grip doesn’t give. Looking back down into the abyss, you can faintly see a speck of your infant child, sinking further down. His cries are still loud in your ears, amplified in the water.

Suddenly, the hand pulls and you break the surface with a deep gasp.

“No!” You cry, throwing your hands up and swinging wildly. Your palm makes contact with warm skin, and you feel a slight sting in your hand as you slap whoever’s holding you.

A booming voice curses above you, “Dammit!”

Opening your tear-filled eyes, you see Dutch holding a hand to his temple, rising up off his knees and angrily walking out of your tent. Bewildered, you look around your cramped tent and see Miss Grimshaw kneeling by your cot, trying to calm you down with sweet words. She shushes you and holds your head in her hands, your hair feels wet with sweat against her gentle fingers.

You notice the bassinet beside her is empty and you nearly leap off your cot, trying to push Miss Grimshaw away.

“Where is he?” You frantically ask, “Where’s Isaiah?”

Miss Grimshaw raises her hands up, “He’s fine, (Y/N). Arthur’s got him.”

“Why?” You ask, nearly crying in fear. “What’s wrong? What happened?”

Grimshaw answers, “It’s okay. He’s okay. You were just having a nightmare, sweetie.”

Your chest heaves in panic. The images of your nightmare are still vivid in every blink of your eyelids. You struggle to stay standing as you become dizzy, raising a hand to your head.

Miss Grimshaw takes notice and lightly wraps her arms around you.

“It’s alright. Everything’s alright.” She soothes. “Let’s just lie back down. Hmm?”

Suddenly, a sputtered cry comes from outside your tent. Instinctively, you move to run to the source of the sound, until Grimshaw holds you back.

“It’s alright dear. You just rest now…I’ll go get ‘em.” She reassures you.

Your anxious breathing refuses to subside until Arthur steps in with Isaiah in his arms. He’s cozily wrapped in his white cotton blanket, hungrily fussing in Arthur’s thick arms. You reach out and silently ask for your child, to which Arthur grants. He seamlessly transfers little Isaiah from his arms to yours.

Grateful for the familiar weight in your arms, your panic finally begins to subside. Tears roll down your cheeks and you hold back a sob, kissing Isaiah’s warm forehead.

He continues to fuss and cry until you unbutton the front of your nightgown and drop a shoulder to draw him to your exposed breast. You notice Arthur shift uncomfortably at the sight and move to exit your tent.

“Wait, Arthur. It’s ok.” You stop him.

Standing by the entrance, he looks to you and asks, “You sure?”

You nod and pat the empty spot beside you with your free arm. Arthur still hesitates.

“It’s not like you haven’t seen them before.” You remind him.

Arthur gives a tense shrug and responds, “I know but, this is different.”

“Please, Arthur?”

Arthur nods and sits besides you with a tense sigh. He looks over and watches his son suckle at your breast with his tiny yet plump lips. Isaiah’s eyes close while you and Arthur hear the occasional breath through his little nose as he greedily feeds off your nipple.

You finally look over to Arthur and whisper, “Did I wake everyone up?”

Embarrassed for you, Arthur nods and runs his fingers through his thick hair.

“Yeah…guess you had a bad dream. Isaiah was cryin’ and Dutch and Grimshaw were tryin’ to wake you up. All of a sudden, I’m standin’ outside with ’im and I hear you give Dutch a big slap.”

He wraps an arm behind you and rubs his hand on your shoulder. With a small chuckle, he says, “Ain’t seen him get that red in a while. You musta hit him pretty good.”

Wiping the lingering tears from your eyes with your free hand, you smile, “Yeah. My hand still kind of stings.”

Arthur shifts closer to you, wrapping a corner of Isaiah’s blanket over his little bare feet.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asks gently, hoping to ease the tension.

Normally, you had come to Arthur to talk of your dreams or nightmares. He enjoyed deciphering them with you, figuring out what they could mean or what would cause them. But the image of your baby sinking into the black waters makes your heart feel like it was pierced with hot iron. You want to erase it from your mind.

Blinking away a stray tear, you answer, “No. I just wanna forget about it…Will you stay with me though?”

You feel so pitiful in asking, but you’re afraid to go back to sleep. You don’t want to return to that red beach.

You look into Arthur’s tired eyes and silently plead. He grasps your free hand beside him and looks over to Isaiah, whose lips have now released your nipple and remain agape as he sleeps soundly. Arthur nods and offers to take Isaiah from your arms. He gingerly places him in the bassinet while you button up your nightgown. Returning to your cot, he lays behind you and pulls you close. His warm arm wraps around you and he holds your hand in his, intertwining his fingers in yours. He slips his other arm beneath your neck, offering it as a pillow. You let out a shaky breath and allow Arthur’s warmth envelope you. His hot breath upon the back of your neck soon lulls you back into a peaceful, dreamless slumber.

The morning sun has not yet risen as you wake. Through the crack of your tent flaps, the sky is barely lightened to an early morning hue of sapphire, cascading everything on earth with its deep color. Leaving Arthur and Isaiah to sleep behind you, you quietly step through the canvas entrance of your remaining solitude. An unease remains buried in your heart from last night as you step back out to the outside world.

A decision has to be made. Today.

[oh-for-fic-sake]

A Walk In The Park

Masterlist

Warninngs: Swearing

Meeting Henry in the park.

A Walk In The Park

It was about 9 in the morning when you got the leads out of the cupboard deciding that by this time the park would be quiet as the school rush was over and anyone who had to be at work was.Your two excited dogs ran at you jumping over one another to be the first on a lead , your 3 year old blue doberman Milly was first as you clipped the thick leather lead followed by your bearly year old phantom standard poodle polly. You preferred walking them when it was quiet because of their rare colours your girls were a prime target for dognapping because any pups they had would be very expensive. You grabbed a small bag of treats ,their ball launcher and favourite ball as you left . Walking to the park it was a huge enclosed field that had a small fenced off play area in the middle there was a foot path around the edge with the occasional bench and bin, large trees dotted hear and there across the whole park, near the enterance there was a small coffee kiosk for the dog walkers that frequently used the safe enclosed space to run there dogs. Once there you saw three other dogs running loose one large and two small but they were far enough away that you should be able to avoid them. Walking a quater the way down the field you released your babies letting them go scatty they both ran off in a large circle around you letting off steam. After a few moments they slowed down panting watching you as you leaned the ball launcher on your shoulder then flicked it catapulting the ball a fair distance . Playing the game of fetch as you continued walking slowly around the field. Throwing it for the 12th or so time was when you heard someone calling for there dog to "leave it" as an akita that tore past your two and caught the ball resutling in a freindly game of chase as Milly and Polly tried to get it back you laughed and waved it off as the large man jogged closer to you still calling his dog. He was very handsome from here you noted.

"Its fine, their freindly" you called out ,he shook his head at the playful pups before smoothing his dark hair back as he watched the three play excitedly. It was rare that your babies had a similar sized dog to play with everyone now days opting for tiny 'cute' dogs and the larger breeds falling out of fashion. You giggled as the akita run up to its owner dropping the ball who dutifully threw it in your direction. The three dogs chased it erratically it was only as they got closer you realised he'd misjudged the distance before you could move his dog collided with your legs sweeping them from under you. Crying out suprized you landed with a heavy thump on the near frozen ground, the dog realising its mistake stood over you sniffing to see if you were ok joined by your two, before being pushed away by the most beautifull man you think you have ever seen, your thought stuttered to a halt as you noticed he looking down at you with bright blues eye filled with concern.

"Kal you big lump look what you did. I am so sorry are you ok?" He said helping you up laughing it off.

"Yeah im fine not the first time a dogs knocked me on my ass." He looked you over quickly decideing that your ok but began trying to brush the dry dirt off of your legs and bottom. Flustered as this heavenly stranger wiped at the seat of your jeans,you bent down quickly to take over ending up butting heads hissing you both grabed your throbbing forehead.

"Shit sorry fuck is your head ok? Look at me" he said cupping your face making you look at him as he gently ran a thumb over your bumped head. You couldn't help the a small gasp as you saw just how handsome he really was tall and broad, a clean shaven angular jawline,his mouth had a defined cupids bow that looked perfect for kissing among other things, lightly defined cheek bones and all topped off with a set of incrediblely clear blue eyes he looked like a god, you snapped out of it as he ran his tongue over his lips in what you assumed was a nervous gesture.'well you are just fucking oogling him' you thought

"That was my fault sorry, are you ok?" He nodded staring at you still smoothing over your face, you thought it was because you looked a mess after falling ass over tit but it was actually the opposite he thought you were beautiful. Blushing at his appraisal you nervously pulled his hands away ,looking down stroking your babies who had been hovering around you since you fell,you quickly turned your attention to his dog.

"So hes a boy then?" He nodded sheepishly as he realised he'd been caught staring snapping out of his thoughts.

"Yep this is my son Kal" he said ruffling the dogs furry head who was panting content. You giggled it was cute

"These are my babies Milly and Polly" you pointed each one out he smiled letting them sniff his hand gaining approval to stroke them.

"They are really sweet ,amazing colours i dont think iv seen them before. I couldn't acctually tell what breed Milly was when i watched you come through the gates" He stated then faulterd sheepishly as he'd let slip he had been watching you ,choosing to ignore it he concentrated on giving your babies ear rubs as they reveled in all his attention. You nodded smieling shyly.

"Well thank you most people think they are scary tho because of there size. Milly is what you call a blue doberman and Polly is a phantom coat both are rare its why i try to bring them here when its quiet" he nodded in understanding sighing in relief as you didn't mention his embarrassing admission.

"Sometime people are wary of kal because of his size. And you coming when its quiet would explain why I've never seen you here befor, I'd have definalty remembered you" he flirted you blushed not sure where to look as he smirked at you. He picked up the ball launcher and leads from the floor beside you. Holding out your hand to take them back he twisted them away from you lightly with a teasing grin.

"I think we should continue this walk together ,you know for health and saftey's sake" he said winking at you as he used the launcher to pick up and launch the ball out towards the field causing the trio chase it. You nodded looking away your face glowing he chuckled.

"I just realised i havent introduced myself im Henry" he held out a stong hand you shook it introducing yourself.

"Y/n" he tested your name

"Well Y/n would you allow me to buy you a coffee on this fine cold morning?" You smiled shyly at him nodding

"If you want to"

"Oh i do trust me" you felt giddy as he slipped your hand in his before makeing your way to the kiosk.

It had been just over three weeks since you first walk with Henry and it had become a daily occurrence you'd both meet up at around nine grabbed your coffees and do two or three slow laps around the park before going your seperate ways. In that time you'd gotten to know one another he seemed quite reluctant to talk about his job at first, which you understood when he told you he was an actor, he was worried that it would scare you off but it didn't bother you in the slightest and that was the day you exchanged numbers. Your walks were spent chatting and casually flirting with one another, before you knew it you had a crush on the sweet man. Today was particularly cold as you made your way to the park when you got there Henry was at the bench by the kiosk coffees in hand he let out a laugh when he saw both your dogs in their little knit jumpers. You pouted at him as he gave you your drink.

"So your one of those?" He got out between laughter as you let them off their leads and began your walk.

"Yep its for a good reasons tho poodles hair is fine and wavy when they're young it gets thicker and curly with age untill then they feel the cold really bad and Milly gets jealous if Polly has her jumper on and she doesn't" he nodded watching as kal followed the two going between them investigating the jumpers comically then they began chaseing one another for the new slightly bigger ball that you had tossed towards them.

Henry moved closer towards you grasping your hand as usual, taking sips of his drink opting to kick the ball with across the grass with his feet as one of the dogs returned it.

"Well its freezing today there threatening snow by the end of the week" you sighed

"Just what i need snow" you muttered into your cup taking a mouthfull.

"Tell me about it i hope it will hold off until friday" you looked at him confused as he kicked the ball again.

"I have to travel just outside of london on wednesday should be back by friday morning at the latest ,its a fitting and makeup test for an upcoming role ,they have a few different ideas but want to have it sorted asap the costume and props are going to take a while to be ordered and made" he explained shrugging lightly, you deflated slightly it meant soon you wont be able to see him, he would be away filming and promoting and youd be on your own.

"Oh.. that sounds fun tho, are you looking forward to it?" You asked trying to bite down your dissappointment he turned to you smileing wide

"Yes its a role i never thought id get when i auditioned but im really excited for it i cant wait to start filming" he said enthusiasticly you nodded but kept quiet as you kicked the ball kal had brought back. He slowed down and binned your now empty coffee cups then took a long look at you sighing before pulling you around to face him.

"Hey dont worry i'll call you everyday at the fitting and when I'm filming" he said stroking your hair out of your face with one hand an overly intimate gesture to anyone onlookers.

"You dont have to do that" you said trying to look anywhere but his face not wanting him to see how upset you were. You had no right to feel like this you hadn't even known him that long.

"But what if i want to?" He said before pulling you closer to him by your interlocked hands and joining free hands. Your gaze snapped to at that he continued knowing he now had your full attention.

"What if I say that I'm gonna miss you, miss talking to you everyday ,miss the way I can make you blush adorabley with just a look or miss holding your hands in mine ,that im going to find it hard leaving you behind here when I've only just gotten to know you." You were lost for words staring at him as he rubbed to back of his neck.

"That... didnt sound as cheesy in my head.. I just mean I really really like you, as soon as I leave here I cant wait for tomorrow to see you again. What I'm trying to say is that I really really like you" he admitted

"I like you too" the words left your mouth before you could stop them he looked up glowing at you. Quickly before his courage dissapeared he wound his large arms around your waist and pulled you against him leaning in for a kiss, you gasped as his lips met yours soft and gentle at first before tilting his head down more and deepening the kiss becoming more heated and desperate as you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer as your tongues danced back and forth. Hearing a whining you both pulled back looking down at three impatient dogs waiting for the game of fetch to continue. You both laughed Henry kicked the ball without releasing you before leaning down again.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted to do that" he mumbled against your lips placeing chaste kisses on them as he spoke.

" and now I cant seem to stop"

"You think your the only one?" you giggled at him meeting his kisses half way

"Just so you know I expect this to be our greeting from now on love" he whispered lowly and squeezed your waist your tummy fluttered at that.

"Well i suppose thats an acceptable request" you murmured he gave you a mischievous smile.

"Who said anything about request? I'll greet my woman as I see fit" your laugh was cut short as he kissed you deeply again. Before pulling you around one arm slung around your waist as he guided you along the path against him.

"Your woman? you havent even bought me dinner?"

"Which i plan to rectify tonight?" He asked cheekily you nodded at him leaning your head against his chest feeling like the luckiest girl in the world as he looked at you lovingly leaning over kissing your head.

[no6secretsanta]

Erlkönig

To: @happykawaiicinnamonroll From: @hi-im-secretly-satan

You asked for an angst fic, suggested getting sick and dying, so I delivered on both accounts! ;) It’s based on the German poem Erlkönig by Goethe, translated by Christopher Middelton. It was also turned into a Lied by Schubert. I highly recommend listening to it before reading this fic. I hope you enjoy and happy holidays! <3

Warnings: Major character death

—

“Shion, what’s that on your hands?”

Nezumi frantically ran through the chain of events that had resulted in him and Rikiga trying to wrestle a delirious Shion into the car, Inukashi anxiously tapping their foot behind them. When had things gone so wrong? He had only just saved Shion from being carried off to the Correctional Facility, a certain death sentence. Deeming themselves safe, they had freshened themselves up after the harrowing ordeal of escaping and Shion had been going on and on about his mother and strange deaths. At the time Nezumi had no clue what Shion was talking about, but now he berated himself for dismissing his words, for just as soon as he had waved him off, Shion became a victim himself. Shion had barely managed to escape from the terror that was No.6, only for another disaster to strike.

The parasite wasp.

In the moment Nezumi had briefly been grateful he had taken (stolen?) the first aid kit when he had quietly fled Shion’s house in the Cronos district, all those years ago. Now he cursed himself for not having made sure the equipment was sterile.

“How is he?”

Nezumi glanced up, catching Rikiga’s worried eyes in the rearview mirror before turning his attention back to Shion, lying curled up in the backseat with him, head resting in his lap. Shion’s breathing came erratically, fingers weakly clutching the torn and dirty fabric of Nezumi’s trousers, face screwed up in a pained grimace. Nezumi’s eyes fell from Shion’s pale face to the bandages wrapped around Shion’s neck, stained green and yellow with oozing pus, filling the car with a wretched smell. Merely a few short weeks ago he had yelled at Shion, a scalpel in his hand, demanding he live. But instead, Nezumi had unknowingly become the cause of his potential death. If the situation weren’t so dire, he’d laugh. Instead, he met Rikiga’s eyes again, and shook his head quickly, jaw clenched tight. Shion was dying, and it was his fault.

But he would not give up yet. They were going to smuggle Shion into No.6 and find a hospital to treat him. Shion had told them where to find one, directions wheezed through waves of pain. No matter the odds, they would succeed in this ridiculous, desperate plan. Shion would live, he would make sure of that. He refused to think of Shion dying, or how to go on living without him. He wasn’t sure he could.

“Nezumi…?”

Nezumi snapped to attention at the sound of Shion’s broken voice, barely audible over the loud car engine. “I’m here, Shion.” He brushed a few strands of tangled hair out of Shion’s face. His beautiful, white, almost translucent hair. Shion shivered but Nezumi doubted it was because of his touch.

“It hurts,” Shion moaned. Sweat beaded on his forehead and he hissed when a bump in the road jostled him and aggravated his already dreadful wound. “I don’t want to die. I… Nezumi, I want to live…” He weakly raised his hand and Nezumi immediately took it into his own.

“You’re gonna live,” Nezumi pressed, eyes locked determinedly with Shion’s. “You’ve survived this long, telling me how to take care of your wound for weeks. In No.6 they’ll be able to help you. You’re gonna make it.” He squeezed Shion’s hand reassuringly.

Shion shut his eyes and shook his head. “Sepsis and severe sepsis can last weeks but-”, a shudder ran through him and cut him off, “…but septic shock is quick and has- has a high mortality rate-”

“Shion.”

At his tone, Shion opened his eyes again and slightly turned his head to look hazily up at Nezumi.

Nezumi waited until he had Shion’s full attention. “You’re gonna live, you hear me? You can’t give up now. You still have so much to live for. I told you before, you still don’t know anything about sex, or books, or fighting. Do you really want to throw in the towel now?” Without realising, his voice had risen and he was nearly shouting. The mice which had been nestled silently in his scarf squeaked softly.

Shion stared up at him for a moment, before breaking out into a faint smile, eyes wet. “Yeah… Yeah, you’re right. I’m gonna make it.” A tear rolled down his cheek. Nezumi reached out to wipe it away. “Thank you, Nezumi.”

“Don’t thank me yet, just stay alive.”

Shion nodded and relaxed back into Nezumi’s lap, the corners of his lips still lifted in a soft smile. Unfortunately that smile warped into a grimace much too quickly. Shion moaned and curled up a little more, pulling his knees as far into his chest as the backseat would allow. Desperation seized Nezumi’s heart. Shion had saved him four years ago, he still hadn’t repaid that debt. He couldn’t let him die. He wracked his mind, trying to think of something, anything he could do to help, to ease Shion’s suffering.

There was one thing that came to mind, but Nezumi hesitated. It was a last resort, meant to ensure a peaceful, quiet death, but maybe, just maybe he could soothe Shion’s pain just long enough until they arrived at the hospital. Shion moaned again, fragile and broken, and the sound cut deep into his heart.

So Nezumi took a deep breath and sang.

It was soft, hardly louder than a whisper, but it seemed to resonate through the car. Inukashi, who had been barking orders at Rikiga from the passenger’s seat, fell quiet and turned to stare, dark eyes wide and knowing. Nezumi ignored them and kept all of his attention on the boy in his lap who had frozen and was now staring up at him with big eyes. For once Nezumi was glad that Shion knew nothing of literature, culture, or foreign languages, for if he’d understood the lyrics, he was sure he would never be forgiven.

“Who rides by the night in the wind so wild? It is the father, with his child. The boy is safe in his father’s arm. He holds him tight, he keeps him warm.”

Shion closed his eyes and a bit of the tension seemed to flow out of his body. Nezumi inwardly sighed in relief, too preoccupied to remember how Granny would berate him for doing so. He glanced out of the window and saw the gate fast approaching, so he tugged on the scarf around his neck and pulled it up to hide his face. The mice chittered and ran down his arms to hide in his pockets instead. The car came to a halt and Rikiga leaned out of the window towards the guard, murmuring quietly and urgently before handing over a thick wad of cash- a bribe both to let them in, and to forget they’d been there. Nezumi listened closely and mentally thanked whoever was out there when the car rolled forward again, passing unhindered through the gate and quickly picking up speed, desperate to reach the hospital as soon as possible.

“My son, what is it, why cover your face? Father, you see him, there in that place, The elfin king with his cloak and crown? It is only the mist rising up, my son.”

Unwinding his scarf from around his head, Nezumi gently covered Shion’s shivering body with the special fibre cloth. He remembered seeing this song performed in the dingy theater once, before he had joined the cast. A traveling singer and pianist duo had attempted to visit No.6 but were mercilessly cast out, so they had turned to wandering the West Block, trying to make some money at the rundown theater before moving on again. He hadn’t understood the meaning or language of the song then, only remembered the shivers that inexplicably had run down his spine and the strange, curling tension in the darkened corners of the room, until one day he stumbled across the poem in one of the books in the vault and finally understood.

In Nezumi’s lap, Shion stirred and burrowed under the blanket, grateful for the warmth despite his body heating up steadily.

““Dear little child, will you come with me? Beautiful games I’ll play with thee; Bright are the flowers we’ll find on the shore, My mother has golden robes fullscore.””

“Mum…” Shion murmured, weakly pushing away from Nezumi and raising his head, glazed eyes darting around, searching. “Where are you, mum…?” Nezumi swallowed, pausing his singing to wipe fresh tears from Shion’s face. “You’ll see her soon,” he promised quietly. He wasn’t sure if he could follow through on it. He had to believe.

“Father, O father, and did you not hear What the elfin king breathed into my ear?”

Shion shook his head insistently, gasping as the movement pulled at the weeping wound in his neck and sent pain shooting through his spine, setting his entire body aflame. “No, no, I want my mum,” he babbled. He tried to push himself up, trembling and weak, into a sitting position- but his arms lacked the strength to hold his own weight and he collapsed back into Nezumi’s lap, sobbing softly.

“Lie quiet, my child, now never you mind: Dry leaves it was that click in the wind.”

“Hush now,” Nezumi murmured in the most soothing voice he could muster, softly running a shaking hand through Shion’s hair. His vision became foggy and he blinked away the tears. “Be a good boy now and you’ll see her soon.” In the front seat Rikiga and Inukashi shared an anxious look.

““Come along now, you’re a fine little lad, My daughters will serve you, see you are glad; My daughters dance all night in a ring, They’ll cradle and dance you and lullaby sing, They’ll cradle and dance you and lullaby sing.””

Shion nodded quietly and obediently settled down, face still wet with tears but no longer weeping. He seemed to be at peace for a few moments, but then his eyes widened again and his breathing quickened. “Nezumi…”

Nezumi’s heart lurched at the sudden lucidity and he held his breath. “I’m here, Shion.”

Shion shook his head and shrunk away from him. “No… No, you’re not Nezumi… I-I need to see him…”

“Shion-”

“I need to know he’s safe…” Shion’s eyes darted around frantically. “He left so suddenly, I must see him again-”

Realisation dawned on Nezumi and when it sank in, it knocked all the wind from his lungs. Of course Shion wouldn’t recognise him; he was four years older now. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a shuddering breath, trying to stop the tears from spilling. There was nothing he could say to reassure Shion anymore. He was too far gone. Even if they reached the hospital, they probably couldn’t help him anymore. So he gathered all his courage, every ounce buried in his soul, and pushed it into the song, hoping it could help carry off Shion’s soul in peace, like it had done for countless others before him.

“Father, now look, in the gloom, do you see The elfin daughters beckon to me?”

Shion paused his desperate searching and looked at Nezumi like he saw him for the first time, watching him with childlike wonder. “You have a beautiful voice,” he murmured. He studied Nezumi’s face and smiled. “And your eyes… they’re just as grey…”

“My son, my son, I see it and say: Those old willows, they look so grey.”

Nezumi returned his smile in a way he hoped was reassuring and combed his fingers through Shion’s damp hair. Shion’s eyes fell shut and he sighed, a wisp of a sound.

““I love you, beguiled by your beauty I am, If you are unwilling I’ll force you to come!””

“Sir…” Shion said quietly and Nezumi’s heart fell into pieces. “If you ever find Nezumi, could you please tell him “thank you”? And that I miss him very much?”

“Father, his fingers grip me, O The elfin king has hurt me so!”

“And my mum, too. Promise me.”

Nezumi swallowed painfully and nodded, not daring to stop singing out of fear it would shatter the tentative calm that had washed over Shion.

Outside the car, the scenery rushed by, lush forests and bustling wildlife, carefully maintained by the City Hall, blurred by the speed of the car as Rikiga pressed harder down on the gas.

“Now struck with horror the father rides fast,”

“There’s the tree Shion mentioned!” Inukashi yelled, pointing ahead of them at a gnarled old oak tree. “Floor it, old man!!”

“If I go any faster we’ll all die before we can even get there!” Rikiga snapped in return.

“His gasping child in his arm to the last,”

“Please, sir, promise me…!” Shion begged, hazy eyes fixed unerringly on Nezumi’s own.

“Home through the thick and thin he sped:”

The trees parted to reveal the tiny hospital, a white and pure beacon of hope in the dark. Nezumi’s heart skipped a beat at the sight, but any and all hope that still lingered was crushed immediately after; wrapped in his arms, Shion took a ragged breath, spasmed once, twice, then fell limp, his blank eyes still staring up at Nezumi. Gravel sprayed under the wheels as the car swerved erratically into the parking lot and jerked into an abrupt halt. Seconds later the doors were yanked open and Nezumi heard someone yell something, but it didn’t register. He couldn’t move, frozen and staring unseeing at the boy in his arms, unable, unwilling to believe what his eyes and ears were telling him. A tear dripped down his cheek, followed by another, and another, falling like rain against Shion’s lifeless form. Nezumi’s mouth moved silently, voice trapped behind the gasping sobs threatening to choke him, leaving the last line to hang unsung, oppressive in the heavy air:  

(Locked in his arms, the child was dead.) 

[ditch-witches]

Beginner's Luck (Dean-Charles Chapman Smut)

requested: yes/no (your requests are everything to us! send us your monkey brain, sad boy hours, thot thoughts, etc. and we’ll try our absolute best to deliver!)

thank you for the request @obsessedwithfandomsx​!

pairing: Dean-Charles Chapman x reader

warnings: smut, fluff, slow burn asf. (im so sorry)

word count: 2,197

a/n: Hello dear readers. Resident Dean stan, Grayce, here! I hope everyone had a safe weekend and I wish everyone luck in this upcoming week! I got super carried away with this for no reason (maybe it’s because it’s my birthday and I’m emo) so I hope y'all enjoy it! Happy reading!

You wrung your hands as your nerves began to build while thinking about the situation in front of you. There was Dean across the room, chatting with some friends and seemingly carefree with the night as his oyster. You watched him laugh at a joke, your mouth curling into a smile at the sight out of instinct. His laugh was contagious, even if you couldn’t hear it.

Tonight was the night. The two of you had declared it the week before and under Dean’s nose, you stressed and planned to no end. It was your first time, not just with him, but ever. He was aware of this, of course, but after finding out that he had been with someone before you, it was clear you had competition. Even if it seemed like he wouldn’t be comparing the two of you, you would be. You bit your lip with a small chuckle, cursing yourself for coming into the metaphorical game so late. You rolled your eyes at yourself, attempting to contribute to the conversation in front of you.

Dean knocked the neck of his bottle against his friends before walking over to you. You jumped slightly as his arm found its way around your waist. He greeted your group before slyly leaning towards your ear. “Ready to get out of here? This is kind of lame…”

You snickered at his comment before parting from the group. He took your hand when you both left the house booming with music, lacing your fingers together. Dean smiled at you in the dark, your breath coming out in translucent clouds to mix with the light snowfall. You almost slipped on an ice patch, causing Dean to pull you closer to him and let out a light-hearted laugh. Sliding into the car beside him, your heart was beating a thousand times quicker than normal. The two of you had left parties together, spent the day together, etc., more times than you could count yet tonight it felt like you were a stranger in your own body.

Dean turned down the radio and moved his hand to rest on your thigh. You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding in your chest. His thumb rubbed against your jeans in a soothing manner. “Penny for your thoughts?” He asked, quirking a small smile in your direction before turning back to the road. You wet your lips, chewing on your words in an attempt to gather your response. It was a short distance to Dean’s apartment from his friend’s, causing your nerves to jump a bit higher.

“I’m nervous if I’m being completely honest.”

You could tell he was furrowing his brows in concentration, only getting to see glimpses of his reactions as you passed under street lamps. “About what, exactly?” His tone was even and more understanding than anything.

You took the hand that was on your thigh into your own, tucking your arm under his. “I don’t know. I guess I have the jitters about our first time…”

Dean let out a small chuckle. “That’s what you’re worried about?” The two of you made eye contact momentarily. “Sweetheart, we don’t have to if you-”

“No! No, I want to. It’s just… I’ve heard horror stories about people’s first times. I’m worried I’m not going to be good enough and that, I don’t know, it won’t be fun. It’s just my brain working against me.”

He thought for a moment about how to react. “How can I make it better?”

You leaned closer to his side, wishing the console wasn’t between the two of you. “Tell me it’s going to be okay.”

“I’ll make sure it’s okay. If you wanna stop at any point, let me know. We’ll go at your pace. It will be okay. I promise.” Your heart fluttered at his response and he pulled into his driveway.

“All right then. Let’s fuck.” He laughed at your comment, squeezing your hand.

Dean sat beside you on the bed, his hands in his lap as you fought to settled your nerves. You were grateful for his laid back approach to the situation, yet he still made it seem like your worries were valid. He reached a hand out to you, brushing your hair off your shoulder gently. You smirked slightly, still looking forward, your eyes concentrating on his light switch. His hand traveled to rest on your back, rubbing in slight circles before he leaned towards you to place a kiss on your cheek. You turned to him, looking into his soft eyes and relishing in this moment. You decided you didn’t want to go back. You were all in.

You closed the gap between the two of you rather abruptly, pulling him into a kiss and pushing one of your hands into his hair. He pulled you closer as one of his hands moved to settle on the back of your neck. The smell of his cologne invaded your senses, the familiarity of it in a situation like this put you further at ease. You broke away from him to push his jacket off his shoulders and you both moved further on the bed. You found yourself sitting cross-legged in front of Dean, attempting not to make the situation any more awkward than it already was. He smiled at you, pressing his lips against yours again as you tugged at the hem of his shirt. You had seen him shirtless plenty of times, but at this moment, he was different. He was unexplored terrain to you, just as he was treating you like a new piece of art, worried to bend an edge or wrinkle beyond repair.

He helped you remove your shirt as well and you struggled not to cover your chest, but Dean’s soft expression gave you the confidence to be vulnerable to him. His hands rested on your hips as he kissed you with as much passion as he could muster, sighing into each brush of contact he had with you. You broke the kiss, resting your forehead against his as your heart hammered in his chest. You took one of his hands in yours, catching your breath momentarily.

“You are absolutely gorgeous, you know?” He whispered, leaning back from you to send you a small smile.

You rolled your eyes and shook your head. “Stop being weird and grab my boob, Dean.”

“I’m sorry. I’m just really excited,” he said with an almost childlike expression. You snorted at his enthusiasm, causing him to laugh. He pressed his lips against yours, smiling behind the action. He couldn’t help himself. You pulled his hand up to settle against your breast, and in a switch, he was back to gentle caresses and taking things one step at a time. One of your hands knotted in his hair as his warm breath brushed against your cheek. You held onto his forearm softly as he slipped his hand between the fabric of your bra and your skin. You moaned against his lips, mentally cursing yourself at the sound, but it seemed to egg Dean on as he deepened your kiss. You leaned back into the pillows, pulling Dean with you as you both buried yourselves in the covers. “Are you still okay?” Dean murmured, tucking one of his arms beneath yours.

“I’m fine. I promise. I’ll scream bloody murder if I’m not,” you lightly joked.

He smiled down at you, brushing his nose against yours slightly. “Okay, deal.” You kissed him lightly before wrapping a leg around one of his, bringing him flush against you. His teeth grazed against your bottom lip before you reached between the two of you, unbuttoning your jeans. He leaned back to watch your actions, his pupils larger and almost animalistic. He withdrew from you, resting back on his knees, helping to drag your jeans down your hips. You sat up to meet him, your hands trailing down his chest towards his zipper as well. His hands played with the ends of your hair, his lips finding your collarbone and placing light kisses while nipping at the skin. You slipped your hand behind the fabric of his boxers and began to palm him, but he caught your wrist in the process. “You don’t have to do that.”

You furrowed your brows at him. “I want to.”

“No, I mean,” he bit back a smile, “I’m ready when you are.”

You attempted to hide the taken aback reaction you registered, your face heating up. “oH.”

He held your face in his hands and you rested yours on his hips now. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush,” he leered and you rolled your eyes, causing him to laugh. He loved it when you did that for some reason. You brought him down with you to lie between your legs. You bit your lip slightly looking at him.

“Go slow, okay?”

He nodded. “Okay. Are you ready?” You exhaled and nodded rather quickly. The two of you fumbled around in a mess of giggling attempting to get both your underwear and his boxers off without ruining the moment. “I’ll be gentle,” he finally said, angling himself towards you.

“Ew,” you nervously tittered in response. You were on the verge of resorting to humor to cover your anxiety.

“Are you sure?” He asked once again, lifting his eyes to yours and you exhaled again nodding. “It’s okay. Relax,” he hummed softly, his eyes looking to yours for any sign of retreat.

“I’m ready. I trust you.” He pressed his lips to yours before shifting his weight from the hand that was holding him up to the other. “Ow!” You barked. Dean froze in his position, eyes widening as he searched your face. “I’m joking,” you leered, biting back the wicked grin spreading across your face.

His shoulders fell slightly in relief and he fought not to roll his eyes. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack and it’ll be Gerald’s Game all over again.” You couldn’t help but snicker, now feeling more relaxed in his arms. You nodded at him one last time to give him the go-ahead and he pushed himself into you, waiting for you to adjust to him. You groaned slightly, the pressure of him a foreign feeling but surprisingly not as painful as you had been warned it would be. You reached up to bring his lips to yours as he began moving. You began to feel every inch of him in you as his hips ground against yours. His lips left yours to press against your jaw and your ear, one of his hands interlocking with yours, binding the two of you further together in the act.

“I haven’t screamed bloody murder yet,” you said, almost congratulating him, causing him to let out a low chuckle as your eyes found his.

“I love that you’re still a minx even while you’re under me,” he added rather darkly and you laughed.

“You bring out the best in me, D,” you unintentionally moaned. He grinned before sealing your lips together in a sloppy example of his love as he quickened his pace ever so slightly. You had a feeling he was close, so you began to grind into him as well, wanting to find the right position so you could join him. He noticed your attempt, burying himself in your neck, driving himself deeper into you, causing you to let out a small whimper as your hands plunged into his dark curls. His movements brought a feeling of tension within you. Getting to your orgasm was like feeling a distant sneeze creeping up your nose. Dean began to ride you with less of a rhythmic pace. You pulled him back to look at you as he brought you closer to the edge. He somehow looked at you with so much longing in this moment of passion that you fought not to tell him you loved him. With every movement, a feeling of relief began to spread through your body and before you knew it, you fists were tightening in his hair, head falling back in pleasure. You swore you saw him grin before you shut your eyes to ride out the rest of your ecstasy. Breathlessly, he pulled out of you, jerking himself off a few times before finishing as well. The two of you were a panting mess as he lowered himself on the bed beside you.

You laid your head against his chest, the only sound in the room to you being his heartbeat as his hand softly ran up and down your back. He took your hand in his, examining your palm, brushing his thumb against your heartline. “Thank you,” you sighed. It began to sink in that Dean would now be carrying around a piece of you with him for the rest of his life.

“You act like you’re the only one who benefitted from that,” he answered with a short chuckle. The vibration of his accent in his chest was music to your ears.

You scoffed. “Just take my gratitude, dammit.” He laughed again at your response. “Now what do we do?”

“We could take a shower?” He offered.

“I love your mind,” you quipped.