#I hope you guys don't mind this kind of stuff? Agh

[sugoi-writes]

Okay, so since I was feeling under the weather and stressed at the same time, I felt like writing some light hearted head cannons of the muppets. So here is a sick/stressed s/o, being helped through things/cared for by the Matsus! 

Osomatsu

Honestly, he would be the initial shit head that would poke you with a stick and ask if you were dead. But seeing the look on your face, whether you were in pain, upset, angry, sick… He’d come back to reality pretty quickly. He is the oldest of his brothers, and understands, to a basic degree, of how to care for someone in this situation.

Though he will tease the ever living daylights out of you, asking for “favors” in return once you feel up to it/are physically/mentally better, he does as asked and told. But, he will prefer you to lay down and get sleep, giving you the space you may not know that you needed. But you may wake up or look up to find Oso cleaning up, restocking supplies for you, or just coming in to check on you every once in a while, with a sincere smile on his face. He loves caring for you, even if he may come off as rude or crass at first. With his help, you know things will be better for you in no time.

Karamatsu

Sick? Depressed? Stressed? These are things that Karamatsu never wants to hear you say. If he sees you in disarray, he showers you with affections. Though this may be hard to handle if you need space, Kara will do his very best to please you. But he does get very worried for you. He fetches anything you request. He makes sure you are comfy. He gives you a heating blanket or a fan if the temp of the room is off to you, or if you’re sweaty or shivering. He has a very go-getter attitude, and his positivity and love for you is infectious. It will rub off on you, one way or the other, and soon, you’ll forget that you were even sick at all.

Though if Karamatsu is pulled away for being too dotting, he has to busy himself. He will try to make you food, clean your room/house, organize something… Anything. If he’s not actively doing something, he fidgets. If he isn’t actively holding your hand and cooing to you, he worries. He feels like the magical cure-all would be his sweet nothings and affections, but understands the importance of rest/space/or meds. But you see Karamatsu peeking on you VERY often, looking over to you hopefully. He hovers close by, in hopes to hear your voice, so that he may do something for you. This man is extra, and a saint. And this part of him makes you smile to yourself. Even if his lovey dovey care can make you feel a bit overwhelmed, its the gestures and thoughts that count. You will also get better in no time, eager to return Karamatsu’s affections.

Choromatsu

Seen as the more sensible of the brothers, he will definitely know when you’re unwell. If it isn’t something physical, he will ask for what you need, and do anything you ask. He may even be willing to do more out of the way errands and requests, but ONLY because you need his help. He is responsible, but he could be just as lazy as any of the other NEETS. If something physically is wrong with you, he will use prior experiences and his mother’s tips and tricks for good/quick fixes. He tries his best, and at times, all he can offer you is medicine, really hot soup, and his time. If you know anything, please tell him. If he wants to use an old wive’s trick on you, he may need to be told that that stuff may not actually work.

9.9999999 percent of the time, he helps. But sometimes it doesn’t have an affect. Choro may become frustrated, sad he couldn’t help, and a little angry with himself. But as you gulp down his soup or bundle up, you’ll chuckle. It’ll be one of the few times that his more doting, “motherly” side comes out. He’ll blush like a baby if you thank him for helping anyway.

At the end of the day, Choro may need some guidance, because he doesn’t know everything. But he will try his hardest for you, to be sure you are well/put back on your feet again.

Ichimatsu

He can sense things easily, especially regarding mood. If you’re particularly stubborn, it may take him a minute to realize any physical ailments, though. But when he realizes things, he will take you gently by your shoulders, and lead you to lay down/sit down. Do not question Ichimacchan. First and foremost, he makes sure you’re comfy, as diligently as Kara. Fans, blanket, damp rag on your forehead, etc. He will also make the cats stay away from you if they would be a burden, but will also let them lay with you if you need their company.

Before you even ask for something, Ichi is already headed out. He will remember the most obscure details from past conversations. He’ll remember the candy/drink/food that reminded you of your childhood, and get it for you. He’ll remember the medication that you took last time you got like this, and have it filled for you. He remembers your favorite movie or book, if you need it to unwind. He ends up getting every little thing, leaving you sleeping at home, or wondering why he left. You think he may have abandoned his efforts to take care of you, until you see him hauling half a ton of things up the stairs with him. He gets really embarrassed if you point out something that only he remembered. He flusters easy, and will easily get a bit quiet, or switch personas on you if he has to.

If you want his company, he may prod you a bit, grinning and asking,” Is this fine, kitten~? You like having the fan on your face~? What do we saaaay…?”. Ichimatsu-sama.exe can easily make an appearance, knowing that this persona makes you just as flustered as he is, or giggle uncontrollably.

But if you need space, he is one of the brothers that will genuinely grant it to you. And he only comes to you when you need him. He will leave you to your devices, but will be sure to secretly check on you, if the opporitunity arises. He, out of all the brothers, is easily the most flexible with you. And he does everything for you genuinely, with hopes to make you feel better or at ease. You’ll find him cuddling against you if you awake up later, and you’ll ask why he was so close if you were sick. But he’ll just smile against your shoulder, kissing it.

“If I were going to get sick, I would have by now… if this is okay, I… wanna lay here a little longer.” You’re his little love bug. And he will take care of you in any way that you need.

Jyushimatsu

The sunshine’s other half?! SICK?!? How can you get sick?? What is “sick”? Jyushimatsu has long forgotten how to getsick, and his immune system is strong as ever. Even if he doesn’t actually help you feel better, he will be sure you’re laughing and enjoying yourself, even with you feeling this bad. He knows what makes you smile. And he will (literally) bend over backwards and spray water out of his ears and nose if it makes that cute laugh escape your lips.

Need space? Uhh… this one is harder for him. But if you’re firm enough, he will listen. After the fourth time. But with mental shutdown or general depression/tiredness… He knows that it isn’t an easy fix. He can jump over the moon for you, and there may just be a few things that just can’t make you smile. Can’t make you feel better all the time. But he tries for you. He will be willing to talk with you, listening intently. He can’t offer the most sound advice, but he knows exactly what you’re struggling with, even if you never knew that he struggled, too. He assures you. Shh’s you. Brushes your hair out of your face, humming off key dreamily as he rocks you a bit. It’s one of the few times that he can mellow out and be calm/quiet. Whatever care you need, Jyushimatsu will do his best to understand where you’re coming from, and work with you in his own wacky way. And soon enough he’ll have you in his arms, the both of you wore out from the day as you sleep the cares away.

Todomatsu

If you’re physically sick in ways that involve puke, blood, or anything unsanitary, he hesitates with helping you. May even steer clear and ask his Mom to come over to help. But things that some find unsightly like rashes? Swelling? Tired backs, tears, and many things associated with depression… Totty will either know what to do, or Google it on the spot. He is one that will make you pamper yourself. If you need a shower, he’ll bathe you, and let you unwind with one of his expensive face masks he just bought himself. If you like bubble baths and bath bombs, you’re in for a treat. He’ll let you use his lotions, polishes, his brushes… anything. So even if you’re down for the count in anyway, you’ll look like a million bucks. You are almost repulsed by Totty’s insistence to make yourself decent, but you’re surprised what a little nip and tuck can do. You aren’t necessarily cured, but feel a notch better.

Once you are more relaxed, he offers to rub your back, feet, thighs, etc. And he lets you wear some of his loose fitting night shirts. He wants you to be surrounded by comfort. And the smell he leaves on his hoodie is a comfort to you. He loves to indulge in a lazy day with you (which is are for him!), with watching movies, doodling, chatting, reading… anything you feel like doing at the time. He may show you funny vines and you may end up gushing about some popular K Pop group. When you talk, he’s fully invested. And you feel like a damn princess/prince.

If you need space, Totty also knows when to back off. But he will at least make sure that you’re okay, hydrated, cozy, and ACTUALLY fine. If you need him, you can always text him, and he’ll head right over, willing to help you out or do something with you. It’s never a boring moment with him, much like Jyushi. But to top it off, over time? You actually feel much better. As he would come to bring you some milk, tea, or whatever you required at the time, you find yourself smiling and thanking him. He’ll tease you on how genuinely sweet you sound, and you may need to give him a playful, non-existent punch to the shoulder for him to ease up. He’s the ultimate twin, with a little bit of habits picked up from his older brothers. Though he denies it, he has always looked up to them, and you notice all the little habits he’s picked up on. But you wouldn’t change it for the world. At the end of the day, Totty will always be Totty, and he is always the pep in your step that helps you through the day.

Polymatsu

Oh boy. It’s chaos with these guys. When they figure out what’s wrong, they’re all scared to react. They have a little meeting, and everyone is shooting ideas left and right. Good and bad ones. But ultimately, everyone gets a role, and they stick to it.

Totty and Jyushi will keep you entertained, and make sure you always have something to engage you, if you want it. They stay close with you, and are the messengers for Kara and Ichi. Kara and Ichi are the errand boys, and with their unified goal of keeping you safe and comfy, they get all the supplies you can ever think of. Kara brings comforts and indulgences. Ichi will bring everything vital and necessary. They work together if you need to move around, be rotated, etc.

Oso and Choro, lastly, are in charge of keeping Momma posted, and asking for ideas for food you can eat, ways to help you get better faster, and the rituals you’ll have to go through to get on your feet. They experiment. The both of them are good thinkers in their own ways, and their sometimes polar opinions can come together to bring something new to the table. They actively work to make you healthier, make sure you take your meds, and things like that.

All together, the twins are a great team. They have spats and scuffles (especially between the older siblings), but they look past their differences in order to help YOU. You’ll find yourself at the end of the night, cradling 6 tired, contented men. They are relieved that you’re better, but they may have pushed themselves too hard. You pray for them to NEVER get sick at the same time, on the off chance that you will be the only one around to help. But you push those thoughts from your head, snuggling up to all of your NEETs, smiling as you all drift to sleep, 6 bodies gently protecting you from the cold night.

[comelylust]

Workmates

That's right I deliver what I promise, Request through my discord, Anon asked for some Miguel with plot so I made a plot attempt haha. if you find spelling or grammatical errors sorry I do this from a tablet 👀read the warnings 👀.  

Warnings: Smut content, +18, street fights, mentions of alcoholic beverages.

 "Ugh I really can't stand it" You mention this to your boss with an irritation in your voice, pacing back and forth with both hands on your head "how the hell are you two friends?! it's so... agh"  

Seeing how frustrated you were all your boss did was scoff at it, he continues to clean the glasses and arrange them on the shelves in the back, he looked like he really didn't care that two of his workers don't get along as well as he would like.  

"You're just stressed, go take a break" Your boss laughed, gesturing towards the employee door where you already knew who was there, Miguel, chances are he was listening to everything, instead instead of embarrassing you your anger continued to rise.

"He's a nice guy, you're just not used to his temperament."  

He's right, you still don't know him well enough just a couple of months ago you moved to Spain for personal reasons, but let's say things were getting difficult and you decided to venture to a new destination in search of opportunities, at first you didn't know where you were going, you were coming and going without a previously planned route, this didn't bother you at all you felt better about yourself above all you felt free for the first time in your life.  

On one of your countless trips you heard a group of strangers talking about a certain wrestling tournament which caught your interest. You decided to join that event after they finished their talk, grabbed your stuff and headed to a new country.  

When you finally arrived in Spain the first thing you did was to look for a temporary job, difficult at first you didn't have the necessary documentation to back up your identity, yeah shit, it wasn't the best idea to leave with nothing but your passport.

You continued your search now in the slums of that country, hoping that someone would offer you help, instead the only thing they offered you was endless fights showing the wimps not to mess with you, earning you a little respect from the locals.  

"Strange" You thought "People usually loathe people like me".

It didn't take you long to figure out the reason why the inhabitants were so used to subjects of your ilk. Miguel Caballero Rojo, a subject without a shred of compassion when it came to street fights, was brutal and violent making his opponents regret it on the spot.

Going to where he always made his appearances you found on the way an old cantina: on the outside it was crumbling, but the old letters of the place were still visible. Entering with your best hard face you asked about that mysterious man, without receiving a clear answer, again you let out a disappointed sigh and a pout formed on your lips.

"Hey, don't be so sad" A middle aged man catches your attention offering you a drink which you cheerfully accept "You're not from here are you, cutie?" Your eyes widen like saucers when he found out you're just an outsider, without taking the drink away from your lips you nodded.  

"Well, I need a bartender so why don't you stay for a while while you wait for him" He offers the old rag along with the apron, you were in doubt, but you really needed this job, the opportunity to work and hit on a guy sounded exquisite without hesitating a second longer you made your decision.  

"Okay I accept, just for a while".  

"I'm Daniel by the way" The old man who is now your boss mentions it.

You worked in that bar for the next few weeks, you didn't do much, just make drinks and take out old creeps trying to be smart. Now the main issue, if you met Miguel, yes, he really looked violent, and yes he had hated you.

When he first walked into the bar he was fuming, his nostrils flared, his muscles tensed and the fingers on his hands were crusted with dried blood, in short he's pissed, to add more to the mix you lunged at him with incredible speed that even Miguel himself was taken by surprise.

"What the fuck" He exclaims as his head face down is resting on the dirty floor, you crossed his wrists and paralyzed him with a knee on his back "Get the fuck down, what's wrong with you".  

"It's nothing personal just that I liked the idea of defeating the best fighter in this neighborhood" You licked your lips forming a fuzzy smile of joy. Miguel tries to move, but you strengthen your grip, raising your hand now in the shape of a fist ready to punch him in the Spaniard's face, until someone interrupts you.

 🌒🌕🌘

 "Sorry Daniel" You fiddle with your fingers as the pout returns to your face along with a blush forming on your cheeks. "B-but you already knew what my plan was!"

"Plan?! What's going on Daniel, are you conspiring with this Chiquilla?" Miguel points at both of you accusingly, scratching the back of his neck furiously.

"Eeh, who are you calling a chiquilla, brat?"

"The only person who is behaving like a brat is you" The two begin a verbal sparring match with overly childish insults. Daniel for his part lets out a loud sigh catching both of their attention.

"You both are behaving like brats, Now Miguel she is the new Bartender she will work here for a while be nice" The last sentence was thrown remarking that she will behave "Same goes for you, Be nice he is your co-worker"

"Coworkers!? That if ever!" Both mention at the same time throwing each other murderous looks.

And here we are back where we left off at the beginning. Working with Miguel was annoying, he is always drunk, when he is lucid he gets in a bad mood and even starts fights for stupid reasons, the problem is when you have to interfere when things get too intense, this didn't bother you, you were annoyed by the idea of saving his ass.

Instead of thanking you he starts a useless fight questioning why you helped him and all the crap you decided for your and Daniel's mental health more than anything else for your boss it's better to ignore him.

But what happened?  

You were not a sports fan, much less a soccer fan, however since you arrived to this place the only thing that the bar TV broadcasts was soccer, getting used to it, you noticed that Miguel on special occasions wears a jersey of his favorite team, your lips curved into a cheshire smile at the prank you were going to do, your plan is only to support the opposing team for no apparent reason, this would annoy Miguel as a "revenge" for what he had put you through.

Tonight you put your new plan into practice, you borrowed a t-shirt from the opposing team that is playing tonight, you put it on by buttoning every button, oddly enough this shirt highlights your beautiful figure, accentuating your breasts and molding to your abdomen/torso, you hope no one notices this, but who the fuck cares, you look great.  

The bar is more crowded than it normally is, you complained about the smell it smelled too much like Cologne, alcohol and sweat hopefully your brain will adapt to it. You headed to your work station serving the drinks to their respective buyers. Until you saw him come in of course with his charming outfit, fuck, you have to admit the man is hot, his manly appearance and his well toned and thick muscles soaked with a light layer of sweat would make anyone drool, unfortunately this was his only virtue.

He gave you a small smile and of course foolishly you returned it, you shook your head forcibly bringing yourself back to reality and remembering the reason why you had decided to do this in the first place.  

"Are you kidding me?" he approaches you intimidating as always, the difference is this time his voice framed mockery as if he knew what you were trying to do.

"What are you talking about, I'm just working" you bite your inner cheek avoiding emitting a laugh, You poured him a pitcher of beer waiting for him to forget the topic of conversation.  

"Yeah right, I know what you're planning, cutie" He takes a long swig of the drink wiping the rest of it off with his arm "And it's not going to work" He winks at you you roll your eyes so much you're able to see your brain, it really is unbearable.

As the night continues, Miguel continues to make fun of you and how your "shitty" team is losing, the strange thing is that you ended up joining him, drinking the whole keg of beer answering his comments with sarcastic remarks.  

You were wrong to think that his only quality is being a handsome man when you noticed that his resistance to alcohol is quite high happened exactly with you, your resistance to alcohol was the best, however, the drinks were doing in you a kind of aphrodisiac turning you hotter as you kept talking to Miguel.

"How about...if we go to the back" your voice comes out smaller than you would have liked you play again with your fingers waiting for an answer, instead he didn't give you one he just grabbed your bicep with his hand and dragged you to the employee only room.  

Before partially closing the door, his free hand wrapped around your jaw pulling you closer to him in a hot kiss, intertwining their tongues licking every part he could, he pushed you into the room closing the door behind you. He connected his lips this time on your neck leaving you with purple and bite marks.

 He held your wrists guiding you to the lounge chair obediently sitting there, still kissing you enjoying your taste despite the bad beer you had chosen.  

"Apparently you're not a rough girl anymore" Separating slightly so he could speak.  

"H-hush don't ruin the moment" You turned into a red, stuttering mess, all Miguel did is smile at you and get up from the seat, your mind raced hoping he wouldn't leave.

"On your knees" His hoarser than normal voice made you shudder and let out a low moan, he had never been so dominant and you would be lying if you didn't say you didn't like it. You quickly went down on your knees looking up at him with eyes clouded in lust.

"Fuck" Solo said unbuttoning his pants, you helped by pulling them down along with his boxers "I'm going to punish you for being a spoiled brat."

 You finally released his cock from its confines, you gasped at the sight previously you could picture it, but your mind didn't do it justice, it's big with veins that framed its outline the red tip was already dripping pre-semen, you licked your lips and included its head between your lips, giving kitten licks.

 "Stop teasing" He growled, you opened your mouth wider with your tongue hanging out, shoving his cock in your mouth touching your throat, you looked up as you gagged which made him let out a guttural gasp.

You pulled back pulling his cock partially out before thrusting harder into your throat, you moan and the vibrations you throw are so delicious he can't take it. Getting rid of his remaining clothes he continued to pound your throat rapidly as he watched your face fill with tears and you try to breathe through your nose so you don't choke.  

"Will you stop teasing?" your eyebrows flex in anger, but this action doesn't last that long, still gagging on his cock you nod energetically. "Good girl."

Thick, hot ropes sprouted from his cock covering your mouth, trying to swallow as much as possible. Inhaling and exhaling heavily catching your breath, you struggled to stand up before Miguel lifted you up placing you face down on the couch climbing behind you, your instinct was to raise your ass and spreading your legs apart, giving him a perfect view of your already slippery pussy.

 Miguel looked at you with carnal hunger re licking his lips as he looked at your innocent form, his palm slapping against your ass in a thud, you squealed as you felt another series of spanks follow leaving your buttocks red.  

 "Remember it's your punishment pretty girl."  

He rubs his fingers over your wet folds and plunges a finger inside you, you yelp at the sudden action pulling away, Miguel firmly holds your hips so as not to go any further and continues to plunge his fingers stretching your tight walls.  

"Easy I'm getting you ready" Miguel works on your sex pulling his fingers in and out "She's too tight".  

Your legs trembled with excitement and your moans echoed in the room loudly, before you could come he pulled away from you collecting your essence smearing it on his long shaft lubricating it.  

The tip of his cock rubbed between your folds teasing your entrance, you moaned needy moving close to him.

"Don't tease" you pout and he teases you, he pushes his member slowly into your pussy. The sensation of your walls squeezing his cock made him throw his head back as you rolled your eyes at the bliss of being filled.  

Miguel pulled your hair back into a ponytail using it as leverage to go faster and deeper, the lewd noises you make are music to his ears instigating him to move.

You could feel every part of his thick cock and how it exquisitely hits that rubbery spot inside you, through your mouth overflowing saliva and your eyes still rolling back. Your walls tremble giving hints of your come.

"Cum on my cock pretty girl" his voice a few octaves lower brings you to the edge, a lewd moan escapes your sweet lips and he quickens his pace chanting your name between curses, his load shoots inside your sex painting them white.

He pulls out of you and you both catch your breath. When you realize what has just happened your face turns red and you try to hide it between the cushions of the couch. Miguel notices this and pats your head.

 "So..." You say shyly.

"Then I'll ask you out, mi amor."  

"W-what?!"  

"Ha, I really love your temper."  

"Idiota" this wasn't the plan nor much less the expected result but you're happy.

I must improve on the fast way it ended haha I hope you liked it.  

[brachyurans]

tw3 moods, part 4

BASE GAME GWENTE QUESTE COMPLETE. I AM KING.

you know how i was saying i wanted to use a Nilfgaard deck for the aesthetic well i played a bunch of practice rounds against merchants and put together a good Nilf deck and won the passiflora running Emhyr the Relentless and it was great

i think i might try a Monster deck for the BoW and HoS gwent quests but that’s pretty far in the future.

also, i managed to hit 100 hours on this game without doing a single main quest in skellige lmfao

i learned how to install w3 mods so i could put in Always Full Exp. i waited so long for skellige that nothing was giving me any exp anymore and seeing ‘received: 2xp’ after quests is kind of not fun. now i’m enjoying crossing contracts off again! overleveling is a fake gamer lie.

i figured out the incredibly hilarious fact that geralt’s honey-collecting method involves setting the entire beehive on fire and waiting for it to drop to the ground. geralt hasn’t been friends with bees since he was torturing them with jugs as a witcherling and he’s not about to start now. i haven’t yet figured out what i’m meant to do with all these honeycombs but i sure do got ’em!

the bit where geralt gets put in skellige prison made me chilly. they made him go barefoot :( on the other hand, geralt interacting with what passes for a justice system on this world is fantastic and heartbreaking, he is embittered and impatient and he wants everyone to hurry up and just tell him exactly how bad he’s going to get fucked over today

the way geralt’s face fucking DROPS when eredin shows up in the cave of dreams. [MUFFLED SCREAMING]

also, the way blueboy lists off the herbs everyone’s gotta take—hemlock, henbane, nightshade, etc.—and geralt is like whoa that’s gonna be a hell of a trip like FHSKFJSK of course mr. i-drink-poison-for-a-living knows exactly what kinda trip they’re gonna have. and he’s still just like fuck it this may as well happen to me today.

hjalmar’s quest was actually a tremendous amount of fun, i was kind of putting it off because i don’t enjoy boss battles, but it reminded me a lot of being a kid and how much i loved reading the bits with odysseus and polyphemus (and rereading. i swear i read the polyphemus sequence over twice as often as any of the rest of it). the odyssey was one of my favorite books as a child. yes i was that child. getting folan from the rock trolls was also a lot of fun and having him around for the rest of the investigation was nice. (amazing he could fire a bow with those burns on his hands tbh.) i’m always ten times more willing to wander into horrible dark caves when i have an npc around to be friends with.

i would smooch cerys an craite. geralt should not, that would be weird, but i would.

I PUT THE BABY IN THE FUCKING OVEN

i don’t even have fucking words for this quest i was like ok cerys i support you and then. oh my god. i SCREAMED. i almost missed the timed choice i was too busy freaking out. like. THIS?? THIS IS THE FUCKING CONTEXT FOR THAT???

obviously after all that i crowned her queen. who the fuck picks hjalmar over cerys when she’s obviously the superior candidate like crach says he has no preference but the only point he can give in hjalmar’s favor is “skellige wants a monarch who’ll lead them to battle with nilfgaard” like ok sure crach but i’m gonna back the monarch who won’t immediately fling the isles into emhyr’s maw. may the reign of the first queen of skellige be long and prosperous.

CIRI!!!! IS!!! GAY!!!!!!

i thought lesbian ciri was just a reasonably popular fanon but no you can look a naked woman straight in the eyes as ciri and say “actually, i prefer women,” i love & support my lesbian daughter

the entire last wish sequence killed me FUCKING DEAD

geralt when he says ‘agh, no, not another portal’ and yen tells him to stop whining 😭😭😭

me: ok geralt lets try for a repeat of the unicorn scene [selects dialogue]

geralt: you wanna fuck on the top of a mountain in a dead guy’s bed?

yen: no.

yennefer, darling and best-beloved as she is to me, actually super needs to stop reading geralt’s mind without permission it isn’t cute or funny. it is also, as far as i can see, an invention of the games. bad cdpr [whacks with newspaper]

i’ve now let both the succubi go so i can never make a succubus decoction. rip me. the uncraftable recipe in my alchemy tab is gonna bug me but i just won’t stab women for the crime of being Horny if i don’t have to is that so wrong

i absolutely could not bear to kill any more fucking sirens so around this point i went to get uma. i still have sidequests and Witcher diagrams to get in skellige but sirens and mountains are annoying.

emhyr: i give you leads as fresh as morning dew and this is what i get?

me: well after running around the continent on fifty different side quests the leads were all uh... slightly less fresh.

“forktails this close to the fortress? someone’s been slacking off” go on just drag eskel for filth why don't you geralt

time for everyone to go on their Life-Changing Field Trip with Zuko Geralt

omfg the illusion child with the foglets that Lambert said was copied from his cohort is fucking TINY. it’s probably a reused model because the trainee witchers must have been close to full-grown when they did the trial of the medallion if they were going out on the Path right after but still like... thas bad. witchers are tragedies.

that geralt and eskel’s idea of quality time is dissecting a katakan together (or rather, eskel dissects a katakan and geralt eats an apple...i desperately hope he got the apple out of his pack because it kind of looked like he grabbed it off the nasty-ass katakan table and that’s Gross, geralt)... these guys are fuckin nerds

eskel managing to radiate mom friend energy while practically black-out drunk is extremely powerful

if I was yennefer witnessing three men twice as big as me squeezed into my nice dresses i would have had MUCH harsher words for all of them. those dresses would be unwearable afterwards. also i made the mistake of taking everything off in order to wear yen’s pants which meant geralt woke up on the floor completely naked while everyone else was already busy having their shit together while fully dressed. embarrassing.

vesemir is an extremely fucked-up old dude. ah yes, you know how old people are, nostalgic for their torture tables, just can’t get rid of those. lambert is right about everything

emhyr may be a grade-A douché but geralt’s a little bitch. what’s wrong with morvran leading a banner to kaer morhen, i thought we liked morvran. he’s a horse girl and he’s always polite to us. you don’t even know how to command a company of nilfgaardian soldiers geralt. oh no emhyr will have intelligence about kaer morhen if morvran comes!—he would get the same if it was just the soldiers you think his companies aren’t full of spies??? suck it up and play nice for ciri we need bodies in that castle!! suspect geralt went to ask emhyr literally just to lord over him that he was going to do some fancy magic stuff with ciri that emhyr could never, smh

i have to stop main-questing now and Prepare i want at least three more levels and all of my Witcher gear in order before i head out after ciri

which means i gotta go kill some more sirens.

fuck.

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [EF LINK]

NOTE: This is where things are gonna start to shift a bit.

Another week or so passed. To be honest, you really missed nothing, other than Stephen giving me a plastic baggie with some of my stone-flakes in it because he wasn't sure what else to do with them. He also gave me one of the bottles of Soft to keep in my place, just in case it happened again. That did seem like a precaution I should have already thought of myself.

And a lot of Knives. A loooot of her hanging around, and finally weaseling my number out of me so she could text and ask if she could come over. I ignored a lot of her texts, but she still always managed to get me to agree to a time she could come bouncing through my door with one of her attack-hugs at the ready. We mostly just watched movies or played video games. Met up with Stephen and Joseph some other night at a sushi place. And the whole time, I didn't know what to do with myself.

Before you ask, there were a couple of close calls. Because we can all tell where this is going already, so I'm just putting it out there.

Three nights after we were watching the samurai movie, she came in for a hug. Slower than usual, and I mean like, at a snail's pace. Turned out, she just thought it would be funny if we bumped noses, but I was just slightly-drunk enough to think she was going in for something else. I blame the tequila shots, and therefore, on Steph who had ordered them. Dumb lush. But I managed to play it off that she was just too close to my face, and that was why I flinched.

Then there was the next day, when we split a Canadian from Pizza Pizza for dinner. We both went in for a slice at the same time and our hands touched; that old thing. I accused her of being a greedy bitch, but she was just biting her bottom lip and giggling before she flicked a mushroom at me. It made me either want to slap her, or… I don't know. For the life of me, I don't know what the fuck was going on in my head, but she let me brush it off and grab a different slice.

But as they say, all good things must come to an end. Which isn't exactly what happens here, but like, go with it, okay?

                                                            ~ o ~

"I don't understand," she was sighing as she swung upside-down from the monkey bars in Hillcrest Park, jeans-clad knees taking the brunt of her slight weight effortlessly. "My mom acts like she's so worldly, but then she doesn't want me to have a totally normal barista job because it'll distract me from meeting 'a nice man' or becoming a doctor, or whatever."

I sighed as I picked at some peeling paint on one of the bars. I was sitting on a 'step' for the kids to climb up to the slide, though my omnipresent black cloud of misanthropy had kept any actual children far away from us. "She's being a mom. That's what they do: pass judgment on their children's decisions. Mine are in the professional league."

"That sucks." Her eyes went up — and in this case that means they were pointed at the sky, not above her head, which would have been sand. "Don't my tits look great like this?"

"Sure," I snorted. "I m-mean, what makes you think I noticed?"

"Nothing, Kim," she giggled. "Just a thought I had. Oh, did you know TCAD is getting back together?"

I pursed my lips for a moment before answering, "Are they really?"

"Kind of. I mean, it's not the original lineup, though. That'd be huge news, since that jerk Todd was turned into coins!" She flipped up through the bars and began walking on top of them, arms out to the sides to help maintain her balance. "Think the new bassist is that girl from Smashing Turnips. They broke up, remember? Plus they're holding auditions for new drummers but I heard she doesn't want guys applying. Sounded like she was pretty sure of that."

"So now they're an all-girl band? Quaint."

"Envy said in a press release that she was thinking about staying solo, but I guess she had a change of heart. But she did start going by 'Natalie' again, 'cause the solo career didn't work out for her. She said 'I'm just not cut out to be a pop star, it's too high-maintenance'." Then she gasped and turned to look at me. "DUDE! You should so totally try out!"

My eyes widened. "What?! Knives, you-"

"Think about it! You're a drummer, and a girl, and they're super-"

"KNIVES!"

But I wasn't upset about her needling me into life decisions. She wasn't paying attention to what she was doing anymore, and had started to slowly fall off the monkey bars. A little yelp of surprise sounded as her running shoes slipped down and back off the metal, arms windmilling. The world slowed to a crawl. Heart in my throat, I dove, and just barely managed to catch her before falling into the sand around the playscape.

"Shit… are you okay?!" I demanded, my voice an octave too high.

But she wasn't listening. Her eyes were round, and she had her hands locked around the back of my neck. She looked stunned speechless, which was a new look for her. My hands flexed awkwardly in her armpit and under her knee as I held her slight weight, which was still a little heavy but I'm a drummer, so I have a decent amount of upper body strength. I could handle it.

"You saved me," she breathed.

"What? Well… y-yeah, I couldn't let you… fall."

"Um… I probably would have been fine. It's only like five feet, and there's sand everywhere." Her face was closer again. Probably going in for another hug, like last time. "But you caught me, Kim."

For some reason, I couldn't put her down yet. Swallowing down my panic, I whispered, "What if you broke your neck? I'd… I could never live with letting that happen to you."

"Why not?"

She was prying into my feelings and motivations too much. Gruffly, I snapped, "Who else would annoy the hell out of me every day? What a stupid ass question."

Even though that was intended to get her to laugh and call me a dork, or say I was funny, or just to tell me I could put her down, it didn't seem to work the way I hoped.

Because Knives kissed me. And I mean kissed me… and I kissed back. Really, we might have done it at the same time, like when you and a friend automatically go in for the fist bump when something really awesome happens because you're both on the same page. Something about the moment just needed it, even if I didn't fully understand why. Her lips were soft and sweet, and familiar; I knew we'd kissed when drunk, even though I couldn't remember most of it. And the gentle weight in my arms made it perfect.

Of course, once we broke apart a few seconds — minutes, hours, centuries — later, I went into pure panic mode. Or tried to. But the lip-on-lip contact had robbed me of actual power and ability to move. Not like the time I turned to stone, though; this wasn't that serious.

"O-oh," was all she said at first. Though the look in her eyes and the way her breathing was so rapid and shallow told me that the "oh" meant a lot more than that, so just this once, I didn't snap at her to explain.

"Holy balls," I managed to breathe.

"Where did that come from? I mean… it was…"

When her face started glowing, a small, private, sacred smile of pure joy blossoming, I had to drop her to the sand and stand back up, turning around to grip the monkey bars overhead to keep myself from falling over. Why was I so dizzy? Why was I overreacting? I mean, a little part of me had been able to tell that we were trending in this direction. Like magnets, or gentrification of old neighbourhoods; sometimes you just can't stop it. Yet I had kind of thought it might never happen. Or at the very least, it would take longer than a few weeks.

"Kim?" One of her hands came to rest in the small of my back.

"Whoa, whoa," I squeaked, spinning around so fast I almost fell myself. "J-just because we- I mean, you shouldn't- don't do that!"

"Sorry," she breathed as she lowered the hand, rubbing her fingers together as if trying to rid them of the memory. I know I could definitely still feel them on my back.

"No, don't…" Sighing, I pressed both my hands into my face. "AGH!" There was a high-pitched whistling sound. "What the hell is even happening anymore?!"

After a few seconds of silence, Knives cleared her throat. "You, um… does steam come out of your ears normally?"

"No! And it didn't just now, either!"

"But I saw-"

"Nevermind that! Just…" Running hands through my hair, and feeling that it did feel a little warmer and more moist than it should have been, I looked over at her. "Can we just rewind about five minutes and forget that ever happened? I… whatever that was, I'm not ready. I'm not ready for it, Knives."

A little shrug of her shoulders as she stared down at her running shoes. "I haven't unlocked that power-up yet, Kim. Sorry."

"Stop apologising, too! Like… we didn't do anything wrong, it's just way past what I can handle right now. Okay? Please, just… I can't even believe we're having this conversation. And on a playground!"

Ugh. Do you have any idea how terrible I felt? Panicking and making her feel like it was all her fault. It was so hard for me to explain my own feelings that I wound up trampling all over hers. But I didn't know how else to react.

"Kim… it's okay," she said finally, cautiously putting her hands on my shoulders. I twitched, took a step backward, but she followed and kept them there. "It's okay. I don't really understand this, either; I mean, I didn't think I was a lesbian. But then again, I didn't at Julie's aunt's, either, and that still-"

"Let's not talk about that, either," I grunted, ashamed of myself. "Especially since you were still in high school."

"Barely," she made sure to remind me. "But… seriously, you made me feel loved that night, and you made me feel loved just now." My eyes must have bulged in panic, because she reassured me, "Like a friend! A good friend who, uh, doesn't mind… that sometimes? If that's cool…"

"Just how far did we go?" I had to ask.

"Made out for a little while. Some… other stuff, but nobody took off their swimsuit," she assured me nervously, and I sighed in some slight relief. "And it was great! But if you want to not do that again, I'm fine with that. Seriously!"

Temptation reared its ugly head. "Well…" Then I shook myself, gripping at my hair around her hands still on my shoulders. "GAH! Like, I'm kinda curious, but also have never… I mean, I've dated guys all my life, this is a pretty big curveball of a life choice, if it is one. And I didn't think you were anything more than just a friend before today, so isn't it crazy to change statuses all of a sudden like this?"

"Why does it have to be some big 'choice'?" she chuckled softly. It made me mad that she wasn't being serious. No… that isn't true. It made me jealous that she wasn't having as much trouble with it as I was. Yeah, that's way more accurate. "I mean, either you want to kiss me or you don't. Whatever, right?"

"Right. Just so easy. Is that why you've been hanging around me so much? Hoping to wear me down?"

"What? No, I wouldn't- that's not it at all!"

"Are you sure?" She squirmed, but didn't back down. "All that time hanging around, you just were hoping that it would happen again. Great. I thought I really had a friend, and you're just another Scott waiting to happen."

But that was a low blow and we both flinched, her hands falling away from me. Before I could apologise, Knives got to it first. "Kim, I'd never do that. It's hard to blame Scott for what he did, because I hearted him so much, but that's just… not the kind of thing I could ever do to a friend! S-so please, don't say that I would…"

"Knives… shit." Pinching the bridge of my nose, I said, "Okay. You're right, I'm… not being fair."

"You're freaking out is what you are."

"Definitely. Can we… I don't know. I want to run away and hide, but I also don't want you to leave."

"Wanna go to Delicious Cup?" she suggested, again touching my arm. This time, I didn't react, either positively or negatively. "We, um, can just talk there. PDA in the café would be a little gross so it'll make kissing less of a… does 'issue' make sense? Is that the best word?"

Nodding, I swallowed hard. "Yeah. It's a great word. Maybe even word of the day, because I clearly have issues."

"Kim, nooo," she half-whined, grasping my wrist and pulling me along. We only made the briefest of stops to snag our bags from the deserted swingset before heading off past the wading pool. "I mean… I kinda freaked out the next morning after the first time, too, so I totally get it! I just… already worked through all that, maybe? Not with a legit therapist, just did a lot of thinking, and talking to Tamara."

"You talked to Tamara about this?!"

"Not a lot! Just, like, sorting through my feelings! And she wouldn't tell anybody, she's my BFF!"

My body felt like it wanted to turn into stone again, but I forced myself to breathe, to stop acting like every weird moment of my life was the end of the world. "Okay… you're right. Back in those days, I probably would have tried to talk to Stephen about this if I could remember more about that night. But I just wrote it off as being drunk. I mean, I never tried to make out with Ramona, or Julie, or…"

"Actually, I kinda heard that you and Ramona had a slight moment," Knives laughed. When I turned round eyes on her, she protested, "From Lisa! Like, remember when we all got together before she moved away?"

"What moment did we have?" I demanded.

"Something about you and she and Scott being all in the same bed, and you telling them both that you loved them." When she looked back after a few seconds of silence and caught me blushing, she giggled. "You were talking, not doing anything else. At least, I'm pretty sure I'd have heard about anything else."

"Oh, good. I mean, if I had a threesome with Scott and that hair-changing hipster, I'd blow my stack."

The bridge of her nose crinkled from the force of her smile as we made our way toward the bus stop. "Already did that once today. Seriously, can you teach me that trick with the steam?"

"GOD, SHUT YOUR HOLE!"

                                                             To Be Continued���