#I hope you all know what this is based off of

[madamechrissy]

Losing Control Now

Pairings: Mobster Gojo x bartender F!reader

Summary: Something about running the Gojo mafia just makes Satoru so bored. Boring, boring boring. Sure, he loves money, he loves women, he loves snorting snowy powder off their bodies. He loves the power that comes from it- but he's just bored. That is, until he stumbles upon you, the brand new bartender that makes him pause, falter, and then soon he becomes obsessed, with knowing you, in every single way. Paying off your mom's debts and working two jobs, you're exhausted, but something about this pretty Mob boy just makes you... excited again. How far in are you, and how far is Satoru in the mafia world? All he knows, is he must have you.

CW: Sexual tension, eventually explicit sex, mafia themes, drug themes, violence, obsessed ass whipped ass Satoru Gojo, oral sex, possessive Gojo, drug use and drug dealing - lowkey Yandere fkn Gojo hehe. Light angst, some fluff, heavy smut, lots of teasing. This part- Lots of plot. drinking, making out, oral sex (f recieving) teasing, overstimulation, hurt/comfort, light angst, say hi to a couple other characters from JJK hehe -WC this part- 7.3k wc

That Gojo art is by michi_ia on X!!! based on Satoru from Pour it Up (Sukuna's story) You can read it alone, but I think it enhances this- Reblogs//comments appreciated if you enjoyy!

<<<part one - masterlist - playlist- Part three>>> (coming soon)

Part two

Satoru sees your text two days later, bright and early that morning, as he and Sukuna, Toji and Suguru all pull up in a limousine to the Kamo manor. His dopey grin is so big Suguru notices clearly, leaning over to peek at his screen, as Satoru hides it to his chest, glaring behind his black shades. “Look at that face. Ya gonna ask her out now?”

“Yes… but she just texted me.” Satoru smiles again, thinking of you, how are your mornings, do you rush right to work? What’s your routine? How did you sleep after the other night, when you touched your-

“Focus, Satoru, you can simp later.” Sukuna grumbles, clearly upset at being away from his own girl, but at least he’s with her, Satoru still barely even knows you yet, and he already can’t stop thinking of you.

“What do I say back though? She said… good morning.” Satoru says with another bright grin, Suguru snorts in laughter.

“Ever thought of good morning back?” Satoru sighs, shaking his head.

“Too lame.”

“Try- ‘good morning lets fuck- hah!” Toji mentions.

“Don’t say that, shit! No wonder you’re single.” Sukuna says now, earning Toji flipping him off as they brush off their suits, standing in front of the opulent manor while Satoru can’t get his eyes off the text.

“She put hearts.” Gojo says dreamily, eyeing your text with literal hearts in his baby blues.

“So say- good morning, brat. Works for me.” Sukuna shrugs, and Satoru sighs again.

“Brat already? I don’t know…”

“What about- ‘good morning pretty’ hmm?” Suguru suggests, Satoru snaps his fingers now.

“That’s it, hah!”

Satoru: Good morning pretty.

“She’s typing! Oh, she hearted it too!” Satoru earns the eye rolls of all his friends as the butler opens the doors, and Satoru just wants to talk to you, but now he has to shove his phone in his slacks pocket with a pout.

You: I hope you have a great day, I’m excited to see you later.

You can’t stop the giggle as you read his text, pretty, something about being called that by Satoru Gojo meant far, far too much. You can’t wipe the giddy little smile off your face as you step into the elevator at work, holding two coffees, one for you and one for your boss, Mr. Nanami. You see him then as you look up from your phone, he gives you a kind smile.

“Good morning, Mr. Nanami, oh here!?” He takes his cup with a little nod of his head.

“Thank you, Miss…” He says your last name but it trails off because you’re still thinking of him, of Satoru Gojo.

“Oh, I meant to ask, is it alright if I take Friday off? I hope it’s not inconvenient at all to you.”

“Finally taking a day off, hmm? Of course. I don’t know why you haven’t, you have PTO days.” Nanami frowns a bit as he eyes you, so clearly exhausted, but always well put together with a pretty smile.

“I get those as extra pay at the end of the quarter though.” You murmur, and damn if you don’t need the extra. The elevator dings open and you both walk towards the office, everyone loves Nanami, he’s about the best boss you could have, he pays well of course, just nothing was getting you out of the debt you’re in.

“I think personal time is important, trust me.” He says softly, as he stops in front of your desk, while you start up your computer with a little yawn.

“I know but I need the money and…”

“We could do a review early? If you want. I can add to your salary.” Nanami murmurs softly, you raise your brows then, mouth opened.

“You would?”

“I’m not sure what situation you’re in…” He frowns a bit. “But of course, let’s do a review early after your shift today, that sound good?”

“Yes, I really appreciate it.” You smile as you start sipping coffee, tapping into the many, many tasks you take on so frequently. Nanami is kind and a raise would be great but he does not know the amount of money you owe.

Not much is putting a dent in it aside from the bar on top of this job, this job is truly for just your current bills and a little bit of food for yourself, if you were a normal person, it would work, it would be fine, but of course you’re not. You got stuck with this debt, from the woman you…

You thought she loved you, well…

You wanted her to.

Your mother has always been cold toward you for your life, dad long, long gone because he couldn’t handle her. You suppose that you felt almost sorry for her, as her addictions caused her downfall, the few moments you had with her being so sweet to you, when she got her fix, when she got her high of winning something for once, and she’d take you out.

Ice cream, something sweet, and give you that attention, so when she broke down on the phone with you and begged you to come back, of course you did, you always did exactly what she asked, what anyone asked, really. Firmly a people pleaser, you tended to give all of yourself to everyone all the time and ask for nothing in return, truly. 

Work goes by and occasionally you peek at your phone, a little fluttering feeling when Satoru writes you back after a couple of hours, you were so unsure if perhaps you’re a little too bold with the good morning text. But it took everything in you not to, after the two of you texted again yesterday, just little things, not bringing up anything that happened however.

It felt like some little fever dream almost, how it all happened, how you had fallen into Satoru so desperately over the phone, images flooding your mind, as he made you feel so wanted. You tended to avoid hookups, as your heart got invested in people, but you’ve never felt anything like his sapphire eyes rushing over your body, counting down the minutes till you saw him.

Satoru: You get that day off?

You: I did, actually.

Satoru: Call me when you’re off work, pretty please?

You flush at your seat, he’s so cute you can’t compute the dangerous world he is apparently in, he’s so sweet, but then… you saw there’s much more to him already than you likely know. You take a moment before answering him with a little heart react to his message, worried about letting yourself relax for even that moment, you are finally making progress with these debts, you can’t slack off.

You clack away at your keyboard, you deal with people as they walk in with a smile, you keep that smile even as people call to yell at you on the phone, taking several breaths to keep going. Finally, five is coming, and Mr. Nanami is at your desk, hands in his tan pockets, you thought he was very handsome and he used to even make you blush, truly.

The girls in the office giggle about him, but he’s always a professional, however as far as you have seen and known, and gave you a job so quickly when you needed it the most. “Come on in the office so you’re not staying too late past five.”

“You do hate overtime, hmm?” Nanami chuckles as you follow him inside the office now, meticulous and clean aside from some scattered papers, he leans back in his seat and gestures for you to sit.

“You really work hard and I see it, I usually do yearly reviews but I added another four thousand to your yearly salary, I hope it will help some?”

“It definitely will, you didn’t have to make an exception.” As sweet as he is, and it’s a good raise for this sort of work, it’s not close to really helping, but you feel he wants to help, and you’re so thankful to have good people around you, it makes you more emotional. Nanami is running his own business and does well, but you know he’s not greedy, he’s more than fair.

“No worries, you are fast becoming my go to girl.” He smiles just a bit at you, clearing his throat a little nervously then. “You have another job you said?”

“Just a few nights a week, I promise it won’t affect this job.”

“Can I ask, why a twenty five year old woman, no kids… please don’t take offense… needs two jobs? And never takes a day off?”

You sigh then, looking away. “It’s too long of a story.”

“I can help more if…”

“No, no please, you're already too nice of a boss.” You lean over now, hand over his, and watch a blush on his cheeks rise, making him just a little less hard edged than you’re used to. “I’m fine, Mr. Nanami, the story is one I don’t share much, maybe outside of work some day.”

“Would you like that, to go out-”

“Oh… that sounded horrible!” You gasp, and he chuckles, shaking his sandy blond head.

“I didn’t take it as an advance.”

“Okay thank goodness. Personal talk- I think I have a guy I like? But how do I even do that, when I work so much? Advice?” You ask, he rubs the back of his neck, leaning back and chuckling softly.

“No, I haven’t figured that one out myself, and you work more than me. Is this the day off, a date?”

“No!”

“It’s fine, you know, it’s your time.”

You sigh now, peeking at your phone. “Yes. Maybe? I think we are gonna…It’s been a while, ugh.”

“Well then you go have fun, and the next check will reflect the raise, okay?” He stands then, and you hug him on impulse, he tenses.

“Sorry! You’re just… thank you.” You murmur, smiling and blinking back tears.

“It’s nothing, let me know if you need more help, okay?” He pats your back awkwardly, and exhales just a bit. “He’s a lucky guy, a date with you.”

“Oh… you’re being too sweet.” You tuck a lock of your hair back shyly now, perhaps even last week you’d melt for that comment, but Satoru has fast become an obsession in your mind, one you don’t want to tell him about, what if he thought you were way too much!? “Thank you so much, truly.”

“Think nothing of it, go on now.” Nanami internally curses himself for not asking you out before, but then he has to be professional, curious as you swipe a couple tears off your pretty face and head out.

What sort of trouble were you in?

“Hey, Satoru…” You can’t stop your fingers from calling him, even as you’re in your car, hearing his deep, sensual voice on the other end while you drive.

“My little secretary is off work hmm?” He teases, you roll your eyes as you come to a red light, smiling.

“Your secretary, hmm?”

“Bet you look sexy in your little office dress.”

“You think?”

“I know. What time is your shift at the club tonight?”

You let out a yawn, shaking your head and sipping on coffee- you sip on some sort of caffeine all day long, you just hope your heart will hang on. “It’s not until nine, actually, what time will you get there?”

“Nine.”

You giggle now. “Mr. Gojo!”

“I’ll try to be there by nine, a pretty bartender there makes the best drinks.” He teases, untying his tie as he speaks to you, putting you on speaker and unbuttoning his dress shirt slowly.

“Should I be jealous?” You ask softly, pulling up to your home then and tensing, sick to your stomach when you see it.

Your mother.

“Shit…”

“What is it?” Satoru demands, panic filling him, he does not know all about your situation yet, was it with bad people- was it-

“I have to go.”

“Don’t hang up the phone, I…” You pause now, seeing her standing right on your porch, you’d changed the locks on her.

“I promise I’ll see you soon, shit it’s the one thing keeping me… I really want to see you.” You murmur, gulping down emotions.

“Are you okay!?”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll text you when I’m there if you’re not yet. I really… I wanna… I have to… I have to go.” Is all you manage softly, making Satoru panic.

“Who’s there?” He demands, you blink then just a bit.

“Just don’t worry, I’m a big girl. See you soon.” You hate hanging up on him, but you can’t have him hearing what is going to ensue, surely the sheer amount of baggage would be too much, even for the lead of the Gojo family.

Your mom is staring at you, tears down her face. “You changed the locks to my house?”

“It’s not your house anymore, it’s all in my name, your debt, your mortgage, shit your refinance, all of it.” You say then, clutching your purse as you step up, the phone ringing, and you know it’s Satoru, but you can’t have him see you this way.

What if he hated you for this? Were you too harsh-

“It is still my fucking house that I let you have.” Your mom has the audacity to shove at you now, you blink in shock, seeing her rail thin arms and sighing.

“You’re using again, huh?”

“So what if I am? Can’t even come here now, because you pay some shit?”

“Pay some shit!? You’re in two million in fucking debt! I’m running on empty working my damn ass off so they don’t kill you and our whole family!” You’re screaming even as it’s a whisper, heart racing as your anger rushes through your veins, and your mother scoffs.

“Mei is giving you a payment plan-”

“The interest is thirty percent. You’re lucky I don’t disappear, is that what you want, to deal with it yourself?” Your mother blinks in fear now, stepping back just a bit as if things are going through her head.

“I’m sorry, sweetie.” Her tone changes, as she adjusts her body position, knowing how to tug your heartstrings. “You do work hard, I see you got a car all by yourself, looks kind of-”

“I swear to god if you even mention that I bought a car to go to my two jobs like I’m doing so well…”

“Just let me in for a bit please?” You exhale and unlock the door, she steps into your home that you barely spend time in, the one you have mafia and Mei’s minions frequenting- to give you friendly reminders.

You kick off your shoes, seeing the frantic texts from Satoru and feeling horrible, you hardly know him and he cares so much more than the woman that birthed you, already peering at everything in your home as if she has some eye for its worth. Like she’d pawn it, as she had literally everything she got her hands on.

“Miss you, sweetie.” She says now, scratching up her arms, and reaching for a cigarette.

“Don’t smoke in here.” You pause her, and she glares, then thinks better of it, surely she knows that if she gives you any affection you fold.

“Of course, oh so proud of you, look at this little award, for your office job already?”

“It’s just a licence certificate. Do you need something?” You ask then, and she starts putting on the waterworks.

“Just a few hundred, do you mind? You’re doing so well you know, and Steve he broke up with me, so I’m with Jenny and-”

“Just… here.” You snatch up what you have in your wallet, sighing and handing it to her. “It’s all the extra cash I have right now.”

She frowns at it, counting it and raising a brow. “Only two hundred fifty?”

“Are you serious!?” Your jaw sets, walking to your fridge and calculating your hours before you grab the bottle of wine, sipping it right out of the goddamn bottle as she begins.

“I always took such good care of you, god your father didn’t even want me to have you. Maybe we’d be together-”

“If I wasn’t born. Yeah I know the spiel.” You sip more wine, hating every second of your fucking existence, all you want is to have that day off, to have this damn date with someone that brightens your world, but here you are, as she comes closer.

“And who do you have but me? It’s not like you have a man, at your age I had your father, I had kids-”

“At your age the economy had not gone to shit first off, and I have no time for a man when I have a bitch mother’s debt to take care of.” She smacks you then, right on your cheek, echoing in the kitchen, even as tears stream down your face.

“You’d disrespect me like this!?”

“Want me to tell Mei you visited?” You ask then, raising a brow, and she gasps, stepping back.

“You would never do that to your own mother.”

“I’m pretty fucking close. Why don’t you get a job?”

“My job was raising you-”

“And you did like shit at it. My brother is homeless and a druggie, and I’m drinking wine from a bottle giving my bully my lunch money.” You’re laughing then, erratically, shaking your head. “Fuck, this is rich.”

Your mother steps back as she watches you have a full fucking break down, as you laugh so hard you have to double over, the mixture of laughter and tears actually seeming to terrify even her.

Good, you think.

“Honey…”

“You know what, next time you come I’ll tell them. I’ll call them, they are dying to know where you are.”

“You’d never!”

“Try me.” You whisper, jaw locked now, and she finally darts out, but not before she stares at you, slowly as if for two seconds she realizes what she’s doing, then she disappears, door slamming and leaving you alone.

What is this life?

The phone rings once more and you answer it, sniffling. “Mr. Gojo, I can’t talk right now, I’m sorry.”

“What fucking happened!? Can you just share your location?” Satoru’s already desperate as he slips into his car, his driver waiting for his orders.

“You can’t see me like this.” You whisper miserably, sipping more of the cheap wine. “I am a fucking wreck, please don’t.”

“Do you live far from the bar?”

“No…”

“Then let me come see you.”

“Why?” You whisper, and he exhales, heart pounding as he hears it, the pain in your voice.

“I just want to see you. Please?” You sigh then, and he hears a ding, as you share your location.

“I’m telling you, I’m not good company right now.”

“I’m on my way.” As he hangs up, you take shaky hands, struggling as you go to the mirror, swiping at the pesky mascara trails from work makeup that’s been on for hours. You try to put yourself together, taking down your hair clip, letting it fall and frame your face, cheeks flushed, eyes puffy from tears.

When Satoru gets there, half your cheap bottle is down your throat, and you’re just a little wobbly as you open your door, Satoru presses you inside then, shutting the door quickly, your back against the cool wood. His hand cups your face, brushing over your heated skin, as you look up at him, like some fucking dream in the night, you take several breaths, just standing there.

“Shit, you are the prettiest mess I’ve seen.” He murmurs then, and you giggle through a fresh onslaught of tears, your hands trailing up his chest.

“You’re like the only good fucking thing right now, I know that’s too much. We just met… I know I sound insane.” Satoru shakes his head, leaning lower. “I’m going to scare you with all my baggage.”

“Can’t scare me, baby girl.” He murmurs, leaning even closer, tasting the wine on your breath, sighing. “Having a party?”

“A pity fucking party.” He laughs softly with you again, this stranger damn near gets you just looking at you, just standing here. Your body relaxes, your heart thrumming in your chest.

“Think I haven’t had a pity party?” His eyes are glimmering, so beautiful you fall into them then, hands trailing down his chest, lower, watching his snowy lashes flutter, his lips part.

“Want the long version or the short?” You whisper, and Satoru tilts his head, hands now trailing down the nip of your waist, still in your little work dress, and god you do look so sexy in it.

“We have a couple hours, and I have a driver, why don’t we just…” His big hands unbuckle the belt at your waist. “Relax, hmm?”

“Yeah, you want my cheap ass wine Mr. Gojo?” You tease, he smirks then, nodding.

“Show me what you have, think I’m bougie?”

“Sure do.” You giggle then, noses touching before you press your lips against his, and it takes everything in him not to just fuck you right on your door, to hold himself back and just let you flow, to be what you need. He kisses you though, so deeply, lapping at your lower lip, his long elegant fingers enwrapped in your loose hair.

“God, the cheap wine tastes good on you.” He says, and you sigh, pressing a kiss on his pointy chin. “Wanna get out of this work suit? Sexy as it is.”

“You want me undressed, huh?”

“What do you think?” Satoru presses against you, and you feel him, hot and hard against your tummy, making you gulp and tremble.

“I think you’re too perfect.”

“Pshh, me? You haven’t gotten to know all of me yet.”

“I want to. Shit, I-”

Satoru slams his lips on yours again, a hungrier kiss now, sliding the little houndstooth pattern blazer right off your shoulders, tongue slipping into your mouth deeper. “I wanna know you too.”

“It’s insane. This?” He just nods, the fact that you feel the same is entrancing him, luring him in. “Let’s get you better wine, I have a stash.”

“Oh yeah?” He grins as you lead him into your kitchen, bending over in that business skirt of yours, making his jaw clench, as he eyes your home, it’s clean and quiet, a little empty, hard to figure you out. And he wants to, with every part that wants to lift your skirt and fuck you, is a part that wants to know you.

“This here, it's like at least thirty bucks.” He snorts then, because obviously he’s drinking hundreds a bottle, but to you he knows it’s something. You nervously look down just a bit, lashes casting shadows on your cheeks, still a little streaked from tears. “But I swear it’s so good.”

“I’ll drink it all up.” His words make your heart race, your mind go blank as he smirks, full lips right at you, and you try to clear your mind.

“Two hours before work, right?”

“And you’re going to sit on my lap again, you know. So you can get a buzz if you need one, shit I got you, okay?” He cups your face again, just understanding, as you grip his wrists, thumbs running over the raised veins. “There were plenty of nights I needed to lose myself, don’t feel ashamed.”

Your shoulders relax, god you think it’s the first time they’ve untensed in ages. “You’re like… no one I’ve ever met, Satoru Gojo.” You kiss him once more, then turn, pressing against him, leaning over to grab the corkscrew. “Can you open it while I get changed?’

“Sure thing, sweets.” You without hesitation trust him, a girl full of mistrust, as you walk over to the bathroom, quickly freshening up, wiping down a bit, putting on the little lacy bustier and stretchy shorts for the bar, far more comfortable than your business attire.

When you walk back out, Satoru’s got two glasses poured, handing one to you with a lopsided grin, so charming it destroys your addled mind. It takes so much not to jump him, to get on your knees for this man, as he leans so casually against your kitchen counter, and you stare.

“Oh god I’m a rude host, here! Sit, sit.” You grab the glass with a thank you, having him sit on the dining room table seats, ones that never get used, to the point you’re swiping dust he notices with a frown.

“Don’t eat much, do you?”

“I do nibble but it’s on the go, but I never sit down here.”

“You should.”

“Sit?”

“Sit, eat, relax. Shit, baby girl, the fuck is this?” He murmurs, gesturing around the home. “I’m gone a lot but even my place is more lived in.”

You sigh now, sipping the tart wine, leaning close, as his hand is on your bare thigh, hot and warm and tempting, you have to bite back a moan of pleasure. “I got into some debt with this lady. Her name is Mei Mei.”

Satoru freezes, raising a brow. “Mei Mei?”

“Do you know her?”

“She works for me. So fuck yeah I know her. How much?”

You shake your head, as he sips the wine, fruity and sweet, and he glares over the glass at you. “You’re not going to make a dent in it.”

“How much?”

“A shit ton, okay? I’m doing okay making payments, but she ups the interest, and… Satoru, I’m so tired, fuck. I’m so tired.” You burst into tears now, shaking as you do. “I’m sorry, I don’t do this, I keep it together but-”

“Fuck that, and fuck her. And fuck whoever did this.” He sets your glass down, brushing tears off your face. “Who did this?”

You take shaky breaths, sniffling. “My mother. She’s who was here… begging for money again.”

“She got you in debt with goddamn Mei Mei?” Mei ran with the Zenin, the Gojo, the Kamo family, whoever brought her the most income at the time. He dealt with her, but he never knew her depravity.

Debts were debts, he hated collecting them.

But this is you.

“She asked me to come home, she acted l-like she l-loved me for once…” Satoru aches for you then, so broken, so beautiful, as you pour your pretty soul to him. “Don’t feel sorry for me, please don’t.”

“I won’t, I won’t. But can I help you? Please.”

“I won’t take your money-”

“Fine, let me help. Some other ways. Please?” He asks again, and you’re shaking your head, earning his scowl. “You’re a stubborn brat.”

“Brat!?” You glare, as he glares, but then it’s too much, the wine, the atmosphere, his intent as he leans even closer, two fingers under your chin.

You want him.

No, you need him.

“Yeah, a brat, thinks she’s gotta do it all on her own, why? Why not let me help you, I want to.”

“But you don’t know me…”

“How can I get to know you if you’re bouncing around from a 8 to 5 to a night job, hmm?” You sigh, shaking your head a bit, earning him pressing his fingers a little more firmly. “I’ll talk to her, negotiate if you will.”

“You’re gonna… negotiate?” Your brows draw together, as Satoru smirks a bit, thanking god you couldn’t read his mind of what he plans on doing with bitch ass Mei Mei, doing this to you.

“I’m very convincing you know, she had a thing for me too back in the day. I’ll pour out all the charm.” You frown then, eyes narrowing, and his grin widens. “Are you jealous?”

“Maybe…” You whisper, leaning even closer now, his hand moving to cup your face instead, lips hovering over your ear as he leans in.

“Think she has shit on you? Think anyone does?”

“Mr. Gojo… you can’t mean all that.” He sighs, inhaling that perfume of yours, fainter than at the bar, mixing with your scent, as he presses a kiss to the shell of your little ear.

“I don’t say shit I don’t mean, understand?” You exhale, and he pulls back, gripping your chin again. “Say yes, like a good girl, hmm?”

“A good girl, but I thought I was a brat.” You tease, smiling tremulously, he eyes those teeth marks on your lips, thumb pressing on them, watching your eyes dilate, as he throbs for you.

“You can be good for me, can’t you?” You nod then kiss him fully, but he pauses you, taking a breath. “Let me talk to her?”

“I will. And… god, thank you. Really.” You whisper, before he pulls you back against his hard body, as you wonder, what does it look like, you feel it, the muscles under his suit as your hands run up and down over the starch dress shirt, feeling every line and bulge of his perfect form. “I should show you…”

“Show me what, sweets?” He murmurs softly, and then you shock even him, down on your knees in a split second before he can even blink, his lips part in surprise as you rub his bulge over his slacks, eyeing him under your lashes hungrily.

“How thankful I am for you.” You go to unzip him, and Satoru’s cheeks decorate pink, a pretty dusting across those high cheekbones, when he stops you, huge hands gripping your wrists, now you pause, blinking a bit. “Oh my god, this is too soon for you? I should-”

“Shit, no, god it’s like some fantasy… I…” Satoru’s blushing furiously now, as his cock leaks precum in his boxers, but he’s pulling you up, standing now and grabbing your waist, watching you shyly shift your hips. “I have never turned down a blowjob, and fuck I want one from you, but…”

Satoru picks you up like you’re nothing then, and you cling to him, still shyly burying your face against his neck, making him chuckle, as he grabs your ass, moaning at how good you feel, thighs wrapped around his hips. You’re grinding on him as you peck kisses across his neck, and he’s setting you right on the kitchen table, you pull back to look at him.

“I think you need to be taken care of, hmm?” He whispers now, a hand slipping down your breast, your head falls back, thumb brushing a nipple that perks up for attention against the pad of it.

“Taken care of?” Your pussy is drooling when he slips fingers over it, over your shorts, watching as your hips buck up, as you moan softly.

“You, pretty bartender,” Satoru kisses down your chest, as he presses your thighs open further, feeling your heat and groaning. “Had a shitty day. A shitty month, probably, huh? Shitty year?” You nod weakly, gasping as his sharp teeth nip your neck, sinking against delicate flesh.

“Y-you could say that, Mr. Gojo.”

“Then let me make it better, yes pretty? Say yes for me.” You nod eagerly now, when he smirks down at you, while your hands grip his jacket. “Words, sweetheart, use them for me.”

“Yes.” Your little whisper ends him, when he continues to rub circles over the thin spandex, soaking it completely.

“Want me to drink your pretty pussy up?” You nod again and he squeezes your throat just a bit, blue eyes glinting. “Words.”

“Yes… y-yes, please.”

“Such a good girl, just look at you.” He pulls back with glossy fingers, dripping from you, pressing them against your lips, watching hungrily as you suck. “Where’s the bedroom?”

You point weakly, gasping again as he just carries you like you’re nothing, until you’re in your room, scattered clothes and books you never manage to read strewn across your dresser and nightstand, as he lays you on your back now, the bed gently bouncing. He drags your shorts down your thighs now, moaning when he sees you for the first time, your perfect, glistening pussy.

“No panties, you so slutty, sweetheart?” You shake your head, taking several breaths now, while he lays on the bed, creaking under his weight, pressing kisses to your inner thighs, as your hands entangle in his silky locks. “You never wear panties to work at the bar?”

“No.” You answer softly, before moaning as his breath hits your clit, and he clicks his tongue.

“That’s not gonna do, I don’t want anyone seeing this, but me.” He practically growls those words, looking at you under those white lashes, as he parts puffy lips, watching your little clit twitch, grinning at the sight, cock pulsing damn near. “Do you understand me, baby?”

“Y-yes, Mr. Gojo.” He presses a kiss, chuckling as you jerk from it, both hands pining your hips down. “Please!”

“Satoru, it’s Satoru. While I lick you up, hmm?” He laps a stripe with the flat of his tongue up from your pretty hole to your little clit, spreading you wide, watching wetness just ooze out of you, exhaling at the prettiness.

“Satoru!” With his name on your lips, he loses his mind, burying his face against your overheated cunt, drowning in your taste, your flavor, your wetness, as you pull at his hair, arching your hips. “Oh my god, Satoru…”

“Mmm, that’s it baby, fuck my face. Good girl.” He huffs now, too fucking sexy, he feels too good, you feel the tension in your body completely release, replaced now by your tummy clenching, while his hot tongue works you, flicking your clit on the underside as he leans his head to the left fingers digging into the plush of your thigh. “God you taste so fucking yummy.”

Satoru Gojo is spreading you wide, like no one has ever done, has ever seen you like that, spitting right on your pussy and groaning, now using two fingers two spread it, sliding into you. You’re screaming out as his long fingers stretch you too much, he pulls one out, easing the stretch just a bit, the pressure building slowly while he eyes your reactions.

“You’re so tight baby.” He huffs in wonder, pressing his finger up on that spot, eyes so bright they’re impossible to look at, flicking his tongue right back on your clit again, loving as you pour down his mouth. “Mmm…”

He’s drinking you up, working you with one finger until he can get both in again, this time the stretch burns good, and he’s hitting this spot over and over, making you fucking dizzy. “Satoru, f-fuck! S-so good I…”

“Look at you, god.” He presses up again, curling his fingers in your slick walls as you start convulsing around him. “So fuckin’ pretty.”

“Satoru I’m… so close I…” He laughs just a bit, peering up at you, chin coated in your slick, as he kisses back down your thighs.

“Already, baby…” He slurps you up, obscene. “Lemme spend my time.”

You’re whimpering now, you can’t just make it stop, even as he slows his fingers, even as he laps at your clit even lazier, slower, enjoying every reaction he elicits from your body, your mouth. He’s so hard he’s pressing his cock into the matress, at your fucked out face, at your glazed eyes and swollen lips, then back to the perfect pussy twitching around his digits.

“Please…” You’re begging, hands pulling at his hair, just making him harder, more ready as your honeyed arousal makes your pussy sound so wet in your little bedroom.

“Cum for me, then, sweetheart, so easy just for me?” You just nod eagerly, and he kisses your clit, curling his fingers just so, watching you shatter for him. Your back arches off the bed, pussy right in his face as you grind on it, using him, making him moan against you.

Your room spins as it washes over you, as he hungrily laps your cum up, right out of your hole, face buried against you, you’re weakly crying out when he eases his fingers out now, sucking more of you off them, the sight so sexy you can’t take it. You have tears of pleasure running down your face as you ease your hold on his hair, and he exhales again, watching your engorged clit twitch again.

“Oh my god, Satoru… what even w-was that?” You mumble, drunk off his fingers, his mouth, he chuckles then, shaking his head.

“I’m not done yet.”

“W-what?”

“Gonna ruin my perfect meal? I’m hungry.” He’s latched back on your clit, sucking it in his mouth now and humming, you’re cumming again, already close to blacking out, stars bursting behind your eyes while this gorgeous man in a three piece suit won’t unlatch his mouth.

“Too much, shit, shit- Satoru…” You’re hiccuping as he draws that second orgasm out, moaning softly, damn near ready to cum in his three thousand dollar slacks, the cold metal of his Rolex leaving dents against your thigh, while you try to cling to him, to this realm. “Satoru, it’s so much…”

“Mmm, never tasted anything so sweet.” He whispers softly, as you yank on him, finally getting him to leave your pulsing, soppy little cunt alone, dragging him up to kiss you, tasting yourself on his lips, lapping yourself off him. “Fuck…”

“Let me make you cum, please.” You whisper eagerly, rubbing his cock, and he wants to, oh god he does, but he knows what you need, even if you don’t.

He takes your hands, pressing them over your head now, shaking his head as snowy locks fall over his forehead. “I told you, this is for you. You need to feel good, we have all the time for me.”

You blink back emotions, still dizzy from the orgasms, from falling into his perfect blue eyes, his big hand squeezing your wrists as he pins you under his weight. “You’re just… not like anyone. Ever. You’re so…”

“Amazing? Handsome? Perfect?” You smile at him as he eases off you, pressing little kisses against your cheeks, your forehead.

“All of that but…” Words get stuck in your throat, as you wonder what’s a swirl of your addled mind, and what’s more. “Special.”

“I’m special, hmm?” Satoru teases, and you just nod, so serious he notices, kissing your lips once more. “Special to you?”

“Yes. Is that okay to say?”

“Just had your pussy in my face, I’d say it’s fine.” You both laugh softly then, as he releases your wrists, and you cup his face, just in time for your alarm to go off, earning your sigh as he leans over, smacking at it. Your hands dart curiously under his dress shirt, your touch making him gasp.

“There is time to-”

“Not tonight, sweetheart. Don’t ask again, I’m not exactly a gentleman so this shit is hard enough.” You giggle breathless as he eases off you now, helping you sit up and picking up your shorts. “These are ruined now, shit.”

“Your fault! I have more, though.” You bend over, giving him a far too perfect view of your ass, as you slip a pair of panties on, peeking back with a little smile. “Better?”

“Much better.” He checks his watch then, as you finish getting yourself together. “You about ready?”

“Yes, let me just get my things.” You’re walking out with him, locking up, as you pause, seeing a whole ass limo, eyeing him. “I get to go in the limo huh?”

“You do.” He chuckles as his driver opens the door for you both, and you yawn just a bit, head on his shoulder in the back of the car.

“Satoru, can I just… rest a minute?” You murmur, he nods then, leaning back and pulling you against his chest.

“The orgasms knock you out or the sixty hours a week? Or the wine?” He teases, you glare cutely at him.

“All of it, mostly that mouth.” You peck another kiss, and he’s stroking your back then, opening his mouth, then closing it, then opening it again.

“Can we… go on a date? Like a real date?” He asks nervously, hearing you snore a moment later, he glares at you, with your mouth open, knocked the fuck out. He pulls you a little closer, god his cock hurts so bad, he doesn’t even have time to take care of this either.

When you pull up to the club, he lets you stay a few more minutes, as he just watches you, hating to wake you up, but finally he knows you all have to go in. He gently shakes you, and you shoot up, comically, making his heart flip for a moment in tenderness.

Shit.

Special, he’s special to you, already?

You make him feel special, as you swipe at your face, flushing in embarrassment. “Oh my god, I zonked on you!”

“You needed a power nap.” He teases, brushing back your hair, fixing your top just a bit, and you sigh, smiling.

“I did.” You both walk in the club now, thrumming as the dancers spin on the poles, and the lights start flashing, while you get prepared to work, but Satoru lingers just a moment, while you’re putting your hair up, grabbing bottles and sipping on a red bull, so tired you break his heart.

Fuck he needs to fix this shit, and the sooner the better, you are so clearly running on empty, and you deserve so goddamn much. He can still taste you on his tongue, so sweet god, he tries to pull together the myriad of emotions. You smile so sweetly at him, starting to pick all the sweet ingredients.

“Want something sickeningly sweet, Mr. Gojo?” You murmur, as his friends now walk out and gesture to him, he leans close now, against your ear.

“Nothing is as sweet as your pussy.”

“Satoru…” He exhales, nipping at your ear with his teeth, before pulling back and smiling. “You’re so cute.”

“Hush. Here, the sweetest I can make.” You hand him the drink then, and he moans, sipping it up.

“Perfection. Alright, they’ll call you back soon, okay sweets?” You nod as he lingers for a moment, taking a breath before he walks back, and enters the room, with the dim lighting, seeing someone he doesn’t recognize. He’s shyly allowing a stripper to sit on his lap, blushing and stuttering, dark hair and tattoos on his neck and face.

He looks at Satoru then, clearing his throat, as Sukuna sits back on the couch, crossing an ankle over his knee. “The new head of the Kamo family as of today, Satoru.”

“What happened to…”

“Died.” The man murmurs, but Satoru hasn’t ever seen this dude.

“How are you the head of the family and not-”

“I left a long time ago, but I’m the oldest son. I grew up with… my mother instead.” The man’s voice is soft, as he sighs. “Choso.”

“And we hope to have a good relationship with you, Choso.” Sukuna says, a threat lilting in his voice, as Satoru leans against the wall, hands in his pockets.

“As do I.” Choso speaks, he’s hard to read Satoru notices, out of place here, turning down cocaine with a shake of his head, hands nowhere near the girl grinding on his leg damn near.

“You’re new at this, then.” Satoru says, and he sighs, nodding. “No worries, I know all about family responsibility I don’t want. But… first things first.” He looks at Sukuna then. “Mei Mei.”

“What about that bitch, god she annoys me.” Sukuna grumbles, taking a shot of tequila as another girl walks in, sauntering toward Toji.

“She needs to be dealt with. And, it’s personal.”

Surprise this is gonna be way longer than I thought! lmaoo no one is surprised I'm sure. There is too much PLOT dammit hehe. At least six chaps are in play ;) I look forward as always to your comments they make me smile so big! Also tysm for 8k!

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[sylusdarling]

Helloooo how about sylus x reader angst?? Such a fan of angst. Thank you 🥺

Broken Bond

Sylus x reader

He's been cold lately.

Sylus was never known as a man of emotions, he was known for his cold and frightening exterior.

But you, you got a side of him no one has ever seen before. Well, until her.

Now that she, Ms Hunter as he liked to refer to her, was here you felt as if you were no longer seeing your lover but the cold boss of the N109 Zone.

Now, you didn't want to jump to conclusions, perhaps you were just being emotional. Perhaps you were being insecure and there really was no changes. You just don't recall being ignored or blown off this much. You understood he was a busy man, but not seeing him for days at a time without warning? That never would have happened before.

You continued to ask Luke and Kieran where he was and their answers were always the same,

"With Ms Hunter." They never liked seeing the hurt in your eyes at their response, after all, they were practically your sons by now.

"It's nothing but business!" Kieran would try to add. "He loves you very much!" Luke would pipe up. But you didn't believe them. That spark of love you both had was slowly fizzling out.

You began to distance yourself from Sylus' base.

Maybe he would start to notice your absence and reach out to you, to call for you back home. But instead it was silent. Your phone sat still. Instead of Sylus, it was the boys contacting you saying how much they missed you. How empty it felt without your presence at the base.

One last time. One last time you told yourself.

You made it over to the base for the last time. You made your way to Sylus' bedroom. The shared place of comfort that you loved so much suddenly crumbled as you opened the door. You were met with the sight of Sylus and Ms Hunter with their lips locked. Their eyes were closed as they were connected in a kiss.

Shock took over your body, you only snapped back to reality after Ms Hunter opened her eyes.

She smiled into the kiss as she starred directly at you.

Rage filled your body. Storming out you slammed the large door behind you leading Sylus to finally realize your presence.

You stormed down the hall to be met with a frantic Luke and Kieran. "What's wrong Miss!" You stopped yourself before you almost yelled at them, they aren't Sylus. It wasn't right for you to take your anger out on them. Instead, you wrapped your arms around them both as you squeezed them in a hug.

"Don't forget I love you guys, ok?"

"Wha-" Luke began to say before You stormed off once more.

You heard footsteps trailing you, then a voice.

Sylus. He yelled your name hoping you would stop but instead you pretended you didn't hear him. He screamed it once more. This time you whipped your head around. "What Sylus?" You barked.

"It wasn't what it looked like, Kitten." He said as he tried to reach out for your hand. You dodged his hand as if it would burn you. "Don't give me that bullshit Sylus."

"She kissed me, I didn't kiss her."

"No? You seemed you were enjoying it quite a bit though? Your eyes were closed and you were leaning into her. Who knows what would have happened if I didn't walk in." Your words were laced with pure malice at the man you once loved.

"Kitten-" You cut him off. "Stop with that fucking name Sylus! We were supposed to be soul bound!

But apparently I was just a piece of ass that was convenient for you until you found the next. Fuck off, Sy."

He scoffed, "You really think that's all you were?"

"Clearly that's all I was if you were willing to throw it away without a second thought." Looking at your wrist, you ripped off the bracelet that looped around it. The bracelet that Sylus had gifted you for your anniversary. The bracelet that held half of the red jewel that was shared between the two of you.

Throwing it to the ground, you stepped on it. A loud crunch could be heard.

"Now, there are no more ties between us.

Goodbye, Mr Qin." You said as you slammed the entrance door once again behind you.

Taking a moment to breathe, tears steamed down your face. You held them in, not allowing yourself to cry in front of him. But now they streamed like a waterfall down your face. A heartbroken sob escaped your mouth.

And that's how your soul bonded love ended.

[golden-cherry]

deal - cl16 (51/?)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.

Chapter Summary: It's been a long time coming.

Warnings: angst (self-doubt, insecurities, mentions of abuse in a relationship, the babes are fighting), fluff - feelings are finally being revealed.

Word Count: 3.3k

series masterlist

previous part

A/N: this whole story is based off of this chapter. I dreamt it over two years ago and everything led up to this. I love it. I hope you love it, too. feedback is appreciated.

Heartbreak isn’t always about what‘s lost – it’s about what never had the chance to be. 

You feel it, the way he looks at you, the way his breath hitched when you pushed yourself up and got too close. You thought, for just a second, that this was it. The moment. The one that would finally be the end of all the back and forth. 

But instead of leaning in, instead of closing the distance between the both of you and claiming your lips in a long overdue kiss, he pulled back. And in that tiny movement, he shattered something inside you. 

And it wasn’t loud. There was no fight, no final words, no door slammed shut. Just a moment that should’ve changed everything – and then, nothing. 

The both of you had been orbiting each other for two weeks, always finding your way back to each other, toeing the thin line between friendship and something more the last few days. You thought maybe this time would be different. That after all the almosts, after all the waiting and the longing stares and gentle touches, he would be brave enough to meet you in the space between. 

But when the moment came, when all he had to do was lean in, he didn’t. He looked at you, really looked at you, and still, he pulled away. 

And that’s what breaks you the most as you stand there, his hand still on your hips as you look up at him. Not that he didn’t feel it, the tension, the longing, all of it, but that he did – and still, he left you standing there, heart open, waiting for a love he was too afraid to let happen. 

So now you’re left with the weight of everything that never happened, mourning a love that never even had the chance to exist. And somehow, that’s so much worse than if he had never – 

„Mon amour, I –", Charles starts, voice hoarse. 

You shake your head slightly and take a step to the side, his hand slipping off your bare skin. You chug the rest of the champage. „I – excuse me“, you breathe, lowering your gaze as you start walking. You push through the crowd, leaving your empty glass on one of the tables. Your stride is fast, determined to get out of here and away from him as fast as possible. 

„Please, wait. Where – where are you going?“ His voice chases after you, but you don’t stop. 

Suddenly the air feels too thick, too hot and you feel like you’re suffocating. You hurry towards the exit, tears blurring your vision as you race down the few stairs. Your feet are stumbling over themselves in your rush to get away. Away from this party. Away from him. 

Purse clutched to your side, you don’t know where to go. 

You don’t want to go home. You can’t go home. You can’t go home to the place the both of you live in, to the bed you share, to the memories of being close and intimate and – 

You can’t go back to the place where you fell in love with him. 

Heavy footsteps echo in pursuit as you keep going nontheless, his voice growing more desperate with every call of your name. You can hear the pain in his voice, the ache mixed together with something close to grief. But you don’t stop. Not for him. Your own heartbreak keeps you going. 

The fireworks up in the air light up the streets, showing you the way to the only other place here you ever called your home and leading you through the narrow alleys of Monaco. He stops calling your name, but you can still hear his footsteps. Charles follows you quietly, keeping a safe distance between the both of you. 

The night is sharp against your tear-streaked face as your feet carry you towards the old apartment. Cold air bites at your skin as you rush down the streets, your heels clicking unevenly against the pavement. Your breaths come in sharp, ragged gasps, mixing with the tears streaming down your face. 

Your heart is breaking, splintering more with every step you take away from the party, away from him, but you keep moving. Because if you stop, if you let him reach you here, outside in Monaco instead of a place you feel safe in, you know you’ll fall apart completely. And you can’t let that happen. 

Your old apartment is right around the corner, when you hear him closing the distance, his footsteps quickening, matching yours. The sound of him – so familiar, so him – only makes the pain worse, because no matter how fast you run, you can’t outrun the truth. 

The truth that he doesn’t want you. Doesn’t love you. 

This isn’t just about tonight. It’s about every moment before this. Every lingering glance, every touch, every time he pulled you close only to let you go again. It’s about the way he looked at you at the party when you wanted him to kiss you, like he felt it too, but pulled away. 

„Please!“ His voice cracks behind you as you climb the stairs to the door of the building the apartment is in. You fish your keys out of your purse and hurry inside and up the steps. You hear him closing the door behind him and following you upstairs, where you enter the familiar apartment you lived in alone until he came along. 

How is it possible that your first encounter was just two weeks ago?

His hand wraps around your wrist, stopping you in your tracks. Your body jerks slightly from the grip, your breath hitching as you squeeze your eyes shut, willing yourself not to turn around and face him. Not to fall into those green eyes that have always been your undoing. 

„Please don’t run from me“, he says breathlessly, his grip gentle but unrelenting. He stands outside the apartment and it’s like the doorframe seperates not only your bodies, but creates a distance between the both of you that you can’t seem to overcome. 

You open your eyes, your gaze wandering around the apartment you love so much. The kitchen, where he cooked pasta after you met. The couch he slept on in the first night, while you locked yourself up in the bedroom. The coffee table which was overflowing with snacks when you watched Cars together and you accidently told him that he’s cute. 

All of these things are part of your relationship with him. And no matter where you go, where you run off to – you’ll always love him. 

You turn around to face him. 

His face is pale, nose red from the cold outside. His hair is messed up from the wind, and his eyes – they hold a sorrow in them, that you can’t describe. „Can – can we talk about it? Please?“, he pleads, voice shaky, breaking through the barrier of your pain. 

You take a step back, wrist slipping out of his grasp as you watch him entering the apartment and closing the door behind him. You shake your head slightly, tears drying on your cheeks. You can’t let him get close to you, but your heart aches to hear him out to make sense of this, to make sense of him. 

„What’s there to talk about, Charles?“ The words feel heavy in your mouth, thick with emotion. „You’ve said everything without saying a single thing. You don’t want this. You don’t want me. You never have.“

He lowers his gaze, leaning back against the apartment door like the words slapped him. His face is filled with confusion, regret, but there’s something else too – something you can’t quite place. „That’s–", he starts, but you cut him off. 

„What? Not the truth?“, you scoff, anger slowly spreading in your veins at his attempted lie. It outweighs your pain, just a bit, but enough to stare at him with a cold stare. „You don’t get it. You –" You run a hand through your hair. „I can’t do this anymore. I – I can’t be your friend anymore.“

He raises his eyebrows, pushing himself away from the door as he takes a step towards you. He looks confused, like he doesn’t understand what’s going on, and the sadness in his eyes makes your heart ache. But you push it down. You have to. „Mon amour –"

„Don’t call me that“, you warn him. „You – you never wanted me, Charles.“ Your voice is barely above a whisper. „You just wanted my body. You just wanted the moments when I was close enough to touch, to hold, but never enough to actually love. You never wanted – me.“ Tears prick in the corners of your eyes again, wether they’re from sorrow or anger, you don’t know. „I – God, I feel so stupid.“ You turn around and take a step, before turning back to face him. „I’m not your distraction, Charles“, you continue, your voice steadying with each word. „And I’m not here to fill the space you can’t be bothered to acknowledge. I’m not just something you turn to when you’re bored or lonely. I’m not just your – your thing.“

You feel his eyes on you as you start pacing. Your heels click on the floor as you walk through the room, giving your anger some space to unfold. 

„Do you know how I feel?“, you ask him, the words slipping out in a whisper at first, but they burn with a fury you didn’t know you still have. 

He falters, his gaze flickering with hurt and uncertainty. „Y/N –„

„No“, you cut him off, your voice stronger now, shaking with the force of everything you’ve been holding back. Something in back of your mind tells you that you’re being unfair, but the pain in your heart overshadows it. „Do you really know how I feel? Do you understand what it’s like to be in love with someone who only half loves you? To always be waiting for something that never comes? To be treated like – like an option when I’ve given you everything I could?“

You take a step towards him, your chest tight with the weight of your own words. 

„I’ve let you in, I’ve let you get close, but every time, you pull away. Every single time. And I’m sick of it. I – I gave you my all, even after Raphael. And you –" You watch as his face softens, like the weight of your words is sinking in, but it’s too late now. It’s been too late for far too long. „I can’t keep doing this“, you say, quieter now, but the hurt still thick in your voice. „You don’t even let me touch you. You don’t get to have all of me when it’s convenient and then push me away when it’s not. I’m not something you can pick up and put down, Charles.“

You’re dumping all of your thougts on him, all your pain and hurt and anger and it consumes you so much, that you don’t see the same emotions flicker across his face. He balls his hands to fists at his sides, the vein in his neck popping. 

And then he explodes. 

„Do you really think that this is what I think about you?“, he almost shouts. „That I use you as a fucking distraction? As something I can just use and toss aside when I’m done with you?“ He takes a step towards you. His hands are trembling as he opens his fists to run his fingers through his hair, clearly fighting with himself. He stares at you as he speaks, voice cracking with a rawness that’s almost impossible to ignore.

His chest rises and falls quickly, like he’s holding back something massive, something that’s threatening to explode and destroy everything he built up to protect him. The words come out slow, forced, as if he’s been choking on them far too long. 

„Do you think I don’t want you to touch me? That I kiss and touch your body and don’t want you to do the same to me? Because that’s definitely the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.“ He takes another step towards you, eyes fixated on you as you don’t take a step back. The distance between you becomes smaller. 

You look up at him. „Then why – why don’t you let me touch you if that’s what you want?“

„Because – because I can’t!“ His voice is still loud, cheeks red from the blood rushing to his face. „I can’t let you touch me like that. I don’t –" He shakes his head, like he’s trying to make his anger disappear. He turns around when he realises that it doesn’t work. „It hurts! It hurts so much to just think about it! Because –" He takes a deep breath and turns back around to face you. „What if I let you touch me and – what if I can’t give you what you need?“ 

His voice is low now, heavy with hurt and aching and – and regret. Hands find their way to his neck, clasping together and the nape of it like he needs something to hold on to, like he needs something to ground himself. 

„I promised myself to never let someone touch me again, after what Annika did to me“, he confesses. „She broke something inside of me. And I – what if the only thing I can give you is not enough? What if you decide you want something different than what I’m able to give you?“ 

He’s clearly struggling, trying to figure out how to explain it to you, to make you understand, but the words don’t come easily. He’s falling apart, right in front of you. And after what you said, after what you threw at him – you don’t know what to do except standing there and let him talk. 

„She – twisted everything. Every touch, every kiss, it was never about love. It was about – I – I felt like I had to. There was no intimicay, no gentle touches, no – connection“, he explains. „Like I was a body to use, not a person. She took that from me. She took the only thing I had – my ability to feel safe with someone.“

His tilts his head back, swallowing hard. „When she – touched me, when she tried to have me, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think. I’d freeze up, Y/N. I couldn’t even let myself feel anything, because I was just waiting for it to end. I –„ He runs a hand over his face, his eyes squeezing shut like the memory is physically hurting him. „And every time someone gets close to me, every time you get close, I – I panic. I pull away because I’m scared. I’m scared that I can’t give you what you need, what you deserve. Terrified that I’ll push you away or make you feel like you don’t matter. Because you do. You matter so fucking much.“

You’re silent, still processing, still trying to understand what’s going on. The anger you felt earlier starts to shift, replaced by something else – something softer, something that aches with the weight of his words. 

He looks at you then, his expression raw and for the first time, you see how much he’s been carrying. „I cant –", he starts, standing there and caught between the pull to take the last step toward you and the need to hold himself back. He’s fighting something deep inside, and you can feel the tension in the air, the space between you both thick with unsaid words and unmet desire. 

„I cant“, he tries again, voice raw, like he’s struggling to breathe. He looks down at you. „I’ve been trying to keep this distance to protect myself. Because I’m so fucking scared of what’s happening between us. Because there’s a chance you leave me when I can’t give you what you need. And I’m too selfish to let you go, so I give you something, just a tiny bit of myself to keep you close but not close enough to make you happy. And I hate myself for it.“

Your anger disappears with every word he speaks. The man in front of you isn’t Charles, the Formula One driver. He’s not the Charles you share the apartment with. 

He’s the Charles who has been hurt so much that every little thing, every little sign of affection makes him want to bolt. 

But he’s still here. You just don’t know why. 

„I’ve been trying to keep this distance, to protect myself from a heartbreak that would kill me.“ He takes a deep breath. „But you.“ His eyes meet yours once again. 

You tilt your head in confusion. „Me?“

He nods slightly. „The last two weeks have been absolute torture for me. Not because you’re always so close to me, because you became my best friend and the person I care about the most in the last couple of days“, he explains, desperation in his words. „I can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve wanted you so badly it hurts. Every time I see you, every time you’re near me, I feel this pull, this need. And I can’t stop it. It’s like it’s consuming me. Like your touch is burning me alive.“

You feel the heat rising in your chest, your heart beating faster, unsure of what he means. Your eyes flicker over his face, trying to read him, but his face is serious and leaves no room for anything other than the truth. „Charles –"

His eyes roll back. „God“, he breathes. „Do you know what you do to me when you call me by my French name? Like it was made just for you to say it.“ He rubs his palms over his face. „I’m terrified of how much I need you. Of how much I want you“, he says. „I’ve been holding back, thinking I could control it to save me from any possible heartbreak. But at the party, when you looked at me like you waited your whole life for me to kiss you –" He shakes his head. „I couldn’t do it. Because I was a coward. Because I thought that you wanted me to kiss you just because I was there, because I was convenient to you.“

Your eyes widen, you open your mouth to say something, but before you can speak, he continues. 

„But I promise you, there’s no amount of anything that could keep me away from you. No amount of past pain, no distance, no insecurites from former relationships.“ He slowly lifts his hand, wanting to touch your cheek, but instead of that he holds it in the air like he’s waiting for your approval. „Nothing in this world – or the other small worlds – could keep me away from you. You broke down my walls, carved your way into my heart. Every time I look at you, every time you smile at me, every time I feel you close to me, it destroys me. In the best way possible. I’ve never wanted anything more than I want you. You’re everything I never knew I needed.“

His hands tremble as one gently cups your face while the other reaches for your own, his breath coming in shallow gasps. You can feel the weight falling off his shoulders, and they way his eyes search yours – like he’s giving you everything you could ever need. 

„Je t’aime, mon amour“, he finally confesses, his hand squeezing yours twice. One for each syllable. „I love you. Not just some of you. Not just most of you. But all of you.“

And without wasting another second, his lips crash against yours.

[tan1shere]

omg yesss i clicked on the wrong account😭 but i love ur writing and would love to see ur take on smth like that! maybe smth based off of that one lyric from the weeknd “Wanna fuck a skinny model right before her runway show, And we did it on the floor, that's why she walkin' kind of funny” yk ? sorry for the mix up!

Your Secret

Billie Eilish x vs female reader !

A/n: you're completely ok love ! I hope you enjoy <3 - update I went into vs today and ugh I'm thinking of another similar fic 😩

Summary: It wasn't Vitorias secret anymore. It was yours.

Warnings: smut, use of the name daddy, dunno if there's anything else to report yall should know the deal by now !

Tags: @trulyy-yourzz @eilishslut @chrissv4mp @n0vabug @dollyvuu @dollarbils @sweetcherriexs @bilsdillldough @mystiquemm

Masterlist

Was it wrong? Possibly, but you couldn't care less. Whenever you had a show she was there watching, but you ofcourse had to have your fun before hand. She claimed you looked extra tasty in your outfit and needed to do unspeakable things to you. It was your secret. Nobody even knew you were together, nor suspected anything. They might've known you were friends but that's common in the celeb world. Everyone knew everyone.

You were about to go on in 15, but you feel hands on your waist in your dressing room. You knew it was her hands. "Hi." She spins you to face her. "Hey." - "you smell good." You breathe out, then in. Taking it in. "Yeah?" She says going to kiss your neck. "Bub-" She hums in response. "Not the neck we talked about this." But she wasn't playing. Not today. You'd always say to leave hickey's in spots you two could see, but considering the time she had, she gave 0 fucks today. She needed to ravish you and fast.

"Bills-" Ears were off. Not hearing a single thing coming out of your mouth. "P-please." You then moan as you feel her bite, her grip on your waist tightening. She was feral today. "Babe, I-" she turns you around, backing you up against a wall. Your heart picks up, what if someone came in. "You, we-" She pulls back. "You've never complained before when we do this?" Shes right you don't, but something seems more dangerous today. That and the fact your covered in purple and red splotches. Her body presses against yours more and you feel it. "Billie." She smirks. "What?" She knew what, but time was ticking and she needed to fuck you.

You stay silent. "I know you can feel it hm?" You swallow. Deciding to give in and let her do whatever she needs. When all of a sudden, you're laying on the carpet and her body is hovering above yours. Yet you can still feel it with how close she is. And it's driving you crazy. Your needs growing by the second, but you hear her belt jingle, as she unbuckles it. Everything was speedy, you probably had about 10 minutes left, maybe less. Her fingers move to the lingerie you were wearing, just moving it to the side as she gets the fake dick out.

You were glad there was a time limit, because she'd forever tease you, taking as much time as possible until you were a mess for her. But, she now realizes she could just snap her finger and you'd be on your knees, in a puddle. You feel the tip of it against your folds, her moving it to your entrance soon after. Hastily slipping in, and not surprisingly with ease. Her finger moves down to your pussy. "You're very wet, wonder why." She was too cocky for her own good. Her pace instantly harsh but you sure as hell didn't mind.

"Who got you wet huh?" Her face was so close to yours, moving her lips down to your cheek. Your neck. "Y-." But her hand grips your jaw. "The word I'm after starts with a completely different letter. You know this." You gulp, closing your eyes. "Daddy did.." You silently say, breathing heavily as she picks up speed. "Didn't quite catch that, what?" You open your eyes to look right at her. "Daddy, made me this wet." Her cockiness returns, smirking down at you. "Good girl, much better. And who's going to make this pretty angels legs shake?" You choke on your spit as she snaps her hips, harder.

Your head spins as you try get out the answer. "D-daddy." You stammered, feeling your release approaching. And within seconds you're leaking all over the fake cock. Breathing heavily as you come down from the high. She pulls out, earning a whine from you. She takes it off, going to grab some tissues to clean you up. Adjusting your outfit back the way it was. She gets you to stand, chuckling as you wobble. Giving your lips a sloppy kiss. "3 minutes, angel!" Someone calls, you swallow. Having no time to do all you needed to. Luckily there was only two hickeys.

Unluckily they were both in visible spots. Your heart still beating fast, you put the white wings on and go for the door. "Hey baby." Billie says, sprawled out on a couch in your dressing room. She had been watching you struggle to put the finishing touches on, very amused at her work. "Just remember who got you like that as you're walking out. All those eyes on you for the wrong reasons need to know who you belong to." She winks. You bite your lip. This was not going to be easy to do. Wasn't much of a secret anymore either.

[heaven4lostgirls]

i am in need of angist. I need a good cry rn so what do you think would happen if reader got attacked by fenrir greyback. not to the point of where she becomes a werewolf but like a bill Weasley kind of thing. what would be polymarauders reaction be?

pairing: poly!marauders x fem!reader

summary: request above!

warnings: graphic depictions of violence, the attack and blood. prejudice against werewolves, greyback bc fuck him

word count: 1.6K

author's note: thank you for this request lovely! i had fun writing this, i hope you enjoy it! this is somewhat also remus centric due to the nature of the ask but nevertheless i hope you enjoy it. left some fluff at the end for you too

You wince as another scar on your face knits itself together, a strangled gasp leaving your lips. Regulus stands in front of you, wand in hand as he slowly heals the worst of the scars left after your attack.

His gaze is troubled, and you can still feel the blood he had scourgified off of your skin. Your hand is being held in Lily’s shaking ones, you can tell it’s taking all of her energy to hold herself together for you.

You’re too tired to do anything other than stare blankly at Regulus’ stormy expression as you tune out Lily’s shaking sobs that she attempts to muffle in Mary’s shoulder. You’re  unaware that Regulus is done healing you until he takes a step closer, dropping his arm to his side.

“Do I look that bad?” you joke weakly, and all Regulus does is inhale sharply, “You look beautiful,” he says angrily. You know not to take it personally, he’s angry at the situation.

You, Lily, Mary and Regulus were sent on an Order mission to scope out a potential death eater attack hours prior from when it was intended to occur. Greyback had caught the end of Mary’s robes as she was about to find her stakeout spot.

He had cornered her, alone and in fear, she had dropped her wand. You had been the nearest to her at the time and heard Greyback’s snarling voice as he taunted her.

You didn’t think to call for backup in fear of being too late to save Mary, so you had thrown yourself in front of her as you threw multiple curses in quick  succession. Your failing grace had been a well timed stupefy by Greyback that had you hesitating for a short period in which he had time to attack.

It was horrible, you can barely close your eyes without seeing the looming monster above you, amber eyes illuminated by the darkness of night. You can still feel the agony of his claws slashing into you as his manic grin burns your eyelids.

Mary had been able to escape and intercept Lily and Regulus as they looked for the two of you. According to her she was a mess of tears and snot as she recalled quickly what was happening and that they needed to hurry to help you.

They had found you exactly where Mary had last seen you, mangled and in a pool of your own blood. Regulus had confessed in a plea to keep you conscious as soon as they arrived to base that he had thrown up before coming to his senses to help.

Regulus looks less pale as time passes and you start to show signs of healing such as moving without wincing. You gift him a small smile before the moment is interrupted by a slamming door and three unmistakeable sounds of loud footsteps.

Your boyfriends rush to your bed in haste, before all three stop in their tracks at the sight of your torn clothes and scars littering your skin. You think you hear Remus let out a whimper at the sight but you’re all too consumed by the grief permeating the air.

Exhaustion floods your bones as tears fill your eyes, sobs wracking through your body that have Lily, Mary and Regulus shuffling out of the small room. Remus, Sirius and James hesitate for a moment before clambering clumsily to encompass you from all angles.

You can feel the three of them shaking in sorrow and anger. Your body shakes in their hold before one wince from a badly timed squeeze has the three of them jumping far away from you in fear.

You cower away from them at the sudden movement, closing your eyes and wincing,  before you peak one eye open to see them look at you in varying stages of despair.

“I’m…okay,” you offer hesitantly, eyes shining and pleading with them to believe you. It’s Remus who breaks the silence with a scoff that has both James and Sirius looking at him incredulously.

“Don’t lie to us, not about this,” he says finally, his heart breaking as he watches you cave into yourself. There’s a building insecurity in your chest that you know he’s aware of, all too well.

“Do I look…bad?” you ask, your voice barely above a whisper. Sirius’ smile is wobbly when you look at him and your gaze catch his shaking hands as he shuffles over to the bed to cup your face softly, the same you’ve seen him do to Remus after a full moon.

“I think you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen,” he offers through a warbled tone. Your eyes shine again as tears line your vision. With a sniff and a quick kiss to his palm you smile at him, loving and trusting just as you did before you had left for the mission.

“Can I hug you?” James voice cuts across the quiet room, he’s shuffling on his feet, wringing his hands as his eyes swim with worry. You know he needs to touch you to fully grasp that you’re okay and not stuck bleeding out in a random alleyway.

You offer him a small smile and a nod as you shuffle to the side of the bed, opening  the covers for him to get in. He wastes no time, clambering towards you in a clumsy haste, tugging you delicately into his arms as a breath of relief leaves him.

“I’m right here.” you murmur into his chest and with a small sniffle he presses a deep kiss into your hair as his arms tighten around you in acknowledgement. You can see out of the corner of your eye, Remus shuffling into Sirius’ awaiting arms.

You lift your head slightly to catch his eyes over Sirius’ shoulder and he clenches his eyes in pain. You know what he’s thinking and before you can think better of it, you sit up slowly with maximum effort and a small wince.

James scrambles to help you as he adjusts himself to lie against the headboard, tugging you again to lie backwards against his chest. His hands rub calming circles on your hips as you breathe deeply through the pain.

Sirius and Remus watch you both in agony. You hold your hand out, eyes locking with Remus’. He looks hesitant but with one sharp look aimed at him, he concedes and shuffles to the sit next to James’s leg, hand holding yours.

With your hands intertwined, you pat your other side for Sirius to sit down, which he does with minimal hesitation, only hesitating before asking he can lay his head in your lap.

You roll your eyes fondly before nodding, he’s gentle in a way he never was before and some part of you aches for the normality you’ve lost.

You lock eyes with Remus before taking a deep breath and murmuring for the three of them to hear, “He didn’t turn me.”

Sirius and James both stiffen but Remus only nods, his gaze guarded. “It’s not a full” he explains for Sirius and James, eyes still locked on yours. “Do you hate me?” you question weakly, and Remus immediately looks horrified as Sirius and James squawk in protests and indignation.

“Hate you? Because you were attacked?!” he asks appalled. You shrug, looking away in shame before he grasps your chin in his palm, tugging your gaze back to his.

“Why would you ever think I would be upset with you for this?” he asks, eyes pleading for you to explain. You want to close your eyes again, let the tears roll down your cheeks again because no part of you wants to have this conversation.

“You’ve never necessarily…liked being a werewolf, which is okay!” you rush out before clenching your eyes shut and looking down again. “I understand you don’t like this part of yourself, that you will never fully understand that James, Sirius and I love you, including your wolf side. I just thought,” You huff out a broken laugh.

“I just thought you’d hate me too for becoming something you hate” you confess, voice cracking as insecurity coats your bitter words.

You hear Remus let out a shaky exhale, looking back at him to see tears trailing over tanned scarred skin. “I didn’t mean to make you cry” you rush out and all he can do is shake his head jerkily before leaning forward to place a deep kiss to your lips.

“There is nothing in this world that could make me stop loving you,” he mumbles into the kiss. James and Sirius echo his sentiment, though the static in your brain seems to  switch off when Remus detaches from you.

“I hate what Greyback did to me, and I will never not be thankful that you do not have to carry this burden, but even if you were turned, that would have never changed the love I hold for you” he says seriously, unflinching and calm as he looks at you.

You laugh a little hoarsely before nodding, squeezing his hand and shuffling deeper into James’ arms as your hands card through Sirius’ curls.

“You do look pretty badass with the scars” Sirius adds through the silence which has James snorting into your hair, murmuring a soft, “subtle.”

“Now you and Moony match, Prongs and I look so boring next to you guys” Sirius continues which has James reaching over to flick his forehead in annoyance.

“Speak for yourself Pads, my muscles are completely badass,” James  smirks and flexes his biceps around you. Sirius scowls looking at him before turning his puppy dog gaze to you with a pout, “Lovie, you think I’m badass don’t you?” he asks with a saccharine grin.

You shrug with a sly look that has Sirius gasping dramatically and huffing in offence. “I’ll have you know if anything I’m the most badass out of all of us” he proclaims.

[bunni-v1]

Hiiiiiii, I wanted to, first if all, say thank you for writing so perfectly for Shadow Milk like fr i never saw anyone describing him so well I'm gonna cry. And I wanted to ask ,if you are ok with it, would you be able to expand a little more on the nsfw part of the headcanons you wrote about him? If not it's totally okay ahaha and in any case have a good day :D

Yeah, I for sure can! I left it kinda vague on purpose, purely because there's a lot to him and it was already so long. I'll try and write some more based on the original ones, but they won't be all that long lol. Still I hope you enjoy what I make up for you...

Tw: NSFW; Mentions of choking, biting, bloodplay, roleplay, etc..; grammar errors

Info: Shadow Milk x Reader; Nsfw headcannons

-To start I want to reiterate that he's very much in it for seeing you squirm. There is something so sweet about seeing your body jump and jolt beneath his touch. It makes him feel better about the effect you have on him.

-It's almost like revenge in a way, getting back at you for making him so weak and soft for you. If he can make you melt and mold for him in the bedroom, it's almost like he can call it even.

-For Shadow Milk Cookie, sex is fun. It's less about an expression of love and more about chasing your highs. Letting loose together and seeing how you can get each other to react to different things.

-With that being said he's super willing to experiment with just about anything and everything. If there's a kink you want to try, he'll go for it. Why not? He's just as curious as you are, y'know!

-Seriously, nothing (except sharing) is off the table at all. Hardcore BDSM, roleplay, watersports, pain play, blood play, and anything else you can think of really.

-He's, unsurprisingly, fond of things involving pain such as choking, spanking, biting, etc.. Not because he likes seeing you in pain, (well... he does, but only in the bedroom and ONLY inflicted by him.) but because you make the cutest little noises for him! Oh! Your squeaks and squeals are simply divine!~

-Biting is the most common thing he'll pull out, usually, each session ends with a nice new bloodied mark. It's his mark of claim on you, of course. A warning to anyone out there that you're not to be touched and that he does bite.

-He loves seeing them in private more though, especially after the deed is done. Cleaning the jam from your dough and soothing the marks over with kisses is his favorite pastime.

-Not to mention the absolute trust you have in him. Knowing that he would never let anything really terrible happen, so you sit and bear the pain for him. You like the scars they leave behind too, and trust me, they do scar.

-Speaking of trust, though, choking is up there because of the amount of trust you must have in him. When his hands wrap around your delicate little throat, he's reminded so intimately that he could kill you at any second. You are so small and weak next to him, and you know that, but you chose to love him anyway.

-So as he squeezes the air out of your lungs and hears the wheezy moans leave with each thrust of his hips, he's reminded of just how lucky he is. Sick and twisted in a way, but he can't help but fall in love with you all over again when you grab at his wrists like you can actually do anything.

-He actually prefers you unrestrained, because he likes you better when you can fight him off. He thinks it's cute when you struggle so hard against him, only to lose and get your brains fucked out like always.

-Oh and he loves to fuck you dumb. Seeing you babble and whine for more is such an ego booster. His little doll all limp and useless under him, pretty little empty head filled with nothing but him. (And he can see those stupid endless thoughts too! How sweet you are!~)

-Now when he's bottoming it's a different story. He does not like being vulnerable at all, so being on the bottom and letting you have that control over him is a struggle.

-When he's topping he doesn't say no to much, but bottoming is a different story. Like, very different.

-He fights you when you want him to bottom, like really fights with you about it. He'll make it very hard for you to make him submit, poking and prodding at you with mean words and as much physical force as he can muster (without causing long-lasting damage to you.)

-He is impressed if you get him to behave, though. He knows he's stubborn, so your patience has got to be insanely high to get him to this point.

-Once he has finally given up his control, you have to be very sensitive and in tune with his needs. He's needy, and he's not really ashamed of that fact either.

-I can't imagine him liking being degraded or belittled, it makes his insecurities rage in his dough. Parts of him believe that the insults are truthful, that you really think that about him, and that thought makes him want to cry.

-He doesn't mind being smacked around, especially if he's misbehaving and fighting you, but he isn't a fan of being hit by you. A little smack here and there, sure, but don't hit him like you mean it. It'll fuck with his head a little too much, and I feel he'd have a hard time separating the action from your actual feelings.

-No, he's quite a princess, actually. He likes being pampered and treated like a king. Gentle touches, loving words, and soft sentiments are what he needs from you. He wants to feel loved and adored by you, because he worries that you might not feel the same at times.

-When he bottoms is when sex is more about love than fun. It's the only chance you get to care for him, and the only time you see him willingly showing his softer and weaker side. You have to be gentle with him, or else he won't let you see that side of him again.

-Now I didn't really go into anatomy much when I was making my initial post, but this guy is wild. He can change his physical appearance at will, which means he can have a lot of fun so to say.

-I don't think he has much down there unless he wants to, and when he does want to let me tell you. It's not a penis. I mean, it is, but it doesn't look like one. It's a tentacle, a blue and white striped tentacle that gets thicker the closer you get to the base.

-He controls how it moves (most of the time), and can jerk you off with it or reach deep inside you to places you didn't know would feel so good. He rubs at your most sensitive spots with ease, torturing you with ease.

-He can also use his hair as tentacles as well, and often uses it to restrain you and play with you while his dick is inside. He prefers using his hair as a restraint than anything else because he can really feel you struggle that way.

-His cum is very thick, almost jelly-like, and a pretty light blue. It tastes like overly sweet blueberries. It's hard to swallow, but if you make the effort he'll be so very happy with you.

-He likes to cum just about anywhere, though. Your tummy seems to be his favorite, only because he likes it when you play with it after the fact. Finds it so cute when you can't help but worsen the mess.

-Oh and the last thing, which I feel is very important, he is big. And I don't mean like his dick is big, no. Shadow Milk Cookie is large, like literally ten times your size.

-Normally he takes a more... approachable form around you when he can help it, but... if you want to he would be happy to have his way with you at his full stature.

-You'd be sososososooooo easy to play with when he's so big, he'd love seeing his little dolly melt in the palms of his hands.

[em1i2a3]

Hole in the Earth

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Fem!Reader

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, Angst, Smut, Panic Attacks, Mentions of Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Mentions of Loss and Death, Age Gap (not mentioned but there are assumptions of an age gap if you squint a bit, there’s no full acknowledgment ), Mentions of Blood/Bleeding. The warnings for smut specifically; p in v sex (unprotected, wrap it before you tap it though!), fingering, oral (fem receiving), Praise kink if you squint, light choking (nothing too serious though), Bucky talks you through it (wink wink nudge nudge)

Author's Note: I wanted to do an actual series for this original character, but I didn’t feel like committing to something so big with my job, so I thought I’d stick to a one-shot format for this one. I know some things may not be totally accurate (this is my first time actually putting something out there that is based off of the MCU, I changed things up a bit, but not extremely, at least I hope lol.) Hopefully y’all enjoy though :) .

Word Count: 13,347 (Talk about slow burn eh? Seeing this word count made my jaw drop when I checked it at the end. What an extravaganza lol)

Some people filled silence with noise—small talk, jokes, distractions, awkward anecdotes, laughter even.

But you and Bucky?

You never needed words.

Your partnership had formed without much thought, an unspoken decision, a quiet inevitability. No one ever sat down and said, "You two should work together," but after everything—after the turmoil from the snap, all the loss, all the grief, and the way neither of you truly fit into what remained of the team anymore—it just happened naturally.

You had both come back to a world that had existed without you for five years. It was like a blur to you. It felt like nothing had happened until you saw the people you loved had aged significantly since the last time you had seen them, or you had lost them by that point.

To deviate from you Bucky had spent decades as a ghost, lost in time, fighting to take back something that had been stripped from him, and the five-year disappearance from the world felt like an eternity. You had heard him mention in passing that it was as if he was in a room with nothing but white around him, and he was all alone. Not only that but when he returned it took him a long time to adjust to the new normal.

Steve was gone.

Natasha was gone.

Tony was gone.

And you?

You were still here, stuck in a limbo between mourning and moving forward, existing in a place that didn’t feel like home anymore. Sam tried to make things easier, tried to be a stand-in for Tony, but it was no use, you told him to stop early on in his attempts, and he respected the request.

Bucky somehow understood your loss better than most of the team, even though he had returned to the same ruins you did. He didn’t bother you with the questions everyone else had when you came back to the compound, he gave you a nod of acknowledgement and tiptoed around you like you were a bomb that was going to explode at any moment, which was something that you ended up preferring.

So when the missions started up again, when the world needed something resembling the Avengers to step forward, it was an unspoken agreement—you and him, always paired together. You knew you wouldn’t be able to handle anyone else other than him.

It worked though.

The both of you kept things mission-focused and ignored whatever was happening outside of that. He never brought up your past, and you never brought up his, and even when there was downtime during the mission you stayed quiet, waiting in silence until you needed to step in.

But now?

Now the most recent mission had gone to hell, and you were stuck alone with him in a safe house, forced into a kind of closeness you had never prepared for.

The mission was supposed to be simple.

A HYDRA facility hidden beneath an abandoned city block, data that needed to be extracted, an easy exfiltration plan. When Sam had explained it you felt like you were having Deja Vu because of how many missions had been like this.

The plan had been clear—

Infiltrate.

Extract the data.

Get out.

You never made it past step two.

The power core in the lower level ruptured, sending a shockwave through the entire structure.

The explosion came too fast, too strong, it wasn’t something you prepared for at all.

You had barely made it to cover before the heat ripped through the walls, short-circuiting everything electronic based in the area—including the Neural Stabilizer locked around your throat.

You had felt it immediately.

The pulse of static in your bones, the electricity surging through your limbs with nowhere to go, the sensation of drowning in yourself. You laid on the cold metal, breathing in through the pain that echoed through your entire body, attempting to calm your nervous system down before things got out of your control.

"You alright?" Bucky called from the level above you.

You had forced yourself to swallow the panic as you raised your head to look up to where he was, only seeing his shadow at that point.

"I’m fine." You replied.

A lie.

Because you could feel the stabilizer glitching, flickering between control and chaos, the red warning light at your throat blinking erratically. It didn’t go unnoticed by Bucky though, even though you wished it had.

“Are you sure?” He asked, watching you struggle to push yourself up from the metal, seeing a pulse of faint blue static running across the floor. You closed your eyes tightly.

”Yes. I’m positive. Just cover me so I can get to you, then we can get the hell out of here.”

You had to push forward.

Because you had no choice.

Because if you didn’t keep moving, neither of you were getting out alive. But if you had a choice you would’ve stayed right where you were.

By the time you had escaped the facility, hot-wired a car, and driven two hours through the backroads to the nearest safe house—your entire body was on fire with unstable currents flowing through your blood. You were in such agony holding everything in that you had almost collapsed onto the ground when you exited the car.

Bucky had watched you run towards the cabin, observed the way you almost broke the doorknob and locked him out all within seconds. By the time he had entered the cabin you were out of his sight, and barricaded inside the washroom.

When you slammed the door closed you immediately turned on the dim light of the enclosed space, stripping off your tactical gear with shaking hands, leaving you in just a pair of shorts and a white tank top. You threw your utility belt onto the counter beside the sink, trying your best to catch your breath, feeling a burning sensation building inside your chest, clawing at the bones. You braced yourself against the porcelain sink, bringing your eyes up to your reflection, looking at the red glow of the Neural Stabilizer flashing on your neck, each pulse more erratic than the last.

Tony had promised it would always work.

Now it was failing as you stood there.

You reached up to touch the fried titanium of the neck plate, feeling the warmth radiating off it, as the light above you glowed brighter for a brief moment before returning to its normal state. That was the only warning sign you needed to kick yourself into high gear. You opened up your gear pouch, fumbling through the various tools you had, until you found what you needed. The tiny utility screwdriver, the one Tony had told you to keep on you at all times. You thanked your past self that they actually listened to him for once.

“It’s just for backup, kid, but if you ever need it, don’t panic. You got this.” You could hear his voice in your head, you could picture the moment he gave it to you and you reluctantly threw it into the gear pouch, making sure he witnessed you do it.

You pushed the memory out of your head and forced yourself to focus, returning your gaze back to your reflection, stretching your neck out so there was enough lighting. Your eyes trailed over the grooves of the metal, finding the space where the first latch would be. You shifted again, turning your head to the side before bringing the screwdriver to the first screw that secured the panel—

———

"Hold still, Sparkplug," Tony muttered, adjusting the metal band around your neck so that it was fitting snugly against your skin, "You fidget more than Peter, and that’s saying something."

You sighed, tilting your chin up, watching him work in the reflection of the mirror.

"Feels like a shock collar." You commented, digging your nails into the palm of your hand.

"Yeah, well, better than the alternative." He replied, looking at you out of the corner of his eye, before returning his gaze to the stabilizer. "Unless you like turning every elevator ride into a death trap." He added.

You scowled.

"It’s not that bad."

"Tell that to the toasters and light bulbs you murdered last week. You know I think I stepped on some of the broken glass you forgot to sweep up." You felt your lips tilt slightly at the joking tone he took.

"That was an accident."

"Yeah, and I’m accidentally a millionaire genius." He tightened the clasp on the metal, sliding his stool back to examine his work. "Alright. Try not to electrocute me when you test it out."

You hesitated, looking at the stabilizer in the mirror, seeing the signature blue glow that Tony had in his chest piece now reflecting off of your very own Stark Industries creation.

"You’re sure this will work?"

Tony’s smirk faded slightly, his expression softening at the worry that laced your voice. You had come a long way since he had taken you under his wing, but he knew you still struggled with keeping the power under wraps, it was evident by the way everything would short circuit even when you were feeling happy, it trapped you. When he designed the stabilizer all he wanted was for you to feel normal, and this was the one thing that he was confident in providing.

"Yeah, kid." His hand rested lightly on your shoulder. "I’m sure.”

“And what if it malfunctions?” You questioned, your hand now tracing the ridges of the titanium.

”I’ll be there to fix it…I promise Y/N. I wouldn’t let it get to that point anyways. Routine maintenance will prevent that I’m sure.”

Back then, you had believed him.

Because Tony always kept his promises.

———

Your hands trembled as you worked on the stabilizer, the screwdriver slipping between your fingers while you twisted it into the second latch. The sharp edge of the tool had sliced against the sensitive skin on your neck three times at this point, and the droplets of blood began to stain your hands. The faint pain began to curl into itself, causing the lights to brighten once again, only this time it remained that way. The tips of your fingers began to veil themselves in the mesh-like glow that slowly stretched along your skin, another bad sign that you needed to get yourself under control.

Your breath came in shallow, panicked gasps, watching the red light blinking faster and faster with each mistake you made, almost as if it was in sync with your pulse.

You couldn’t do this, and there was no doubt that by the end of this, you would have a hazardous explosion waiting to happen. You wouldn’t be surprised if you’d take out the whole town.

You were going to—

"Breathe, kid." Tony’s voice warned.

You couldn’t help but remember the video he had left in your inbox, dated the day before his death. You hadn’t looked at it for three weeks, you weren’t ready to see him at that point, you were grieving, but the day that you decided to click on it to listen, and to watch…You knew it was going to be seared into your memory.

———

Tony sat at his workbench, rubbing a hand over his face, scratching at the stubble on his chin almost in frustration. His hair was a little longer, a little messier, and the exhaustion on his face was worse than you’d ever seen it.

"Alright, kid. If you’re watching this, then congratulations. You survived. You came back. And I…Well…I didn’t, unless you are watching this for fun, which is absolutely weird, but whatever.”

A pause, he sighs, licking his dry lips, trying to search for what he was going to say.

"Not that I’d know, obviously, because I made this before all the very bad, end-of-the-world war type stuff went down, but I’d like to think I got to go out in a blaze of glory."

His lips tugged up, but there was no humor behind it.

"Which, by the way, is something I told you not to do a thousand times, so let’s not make this a trend, okay?"

You had let out a choked laugh, tears already stinging at your eyes. He took another pause, shaking his head.

"Five years." He exhaled hard, tapping his fingers against the desk. "You’ve been gone for five whole years, and I gotta tell you, kid, it’s sucked. Like, really sucked. We have this whole ‘Save the World’ initiative going on, and I keep looking around thinking, ‘Where the hell is my electric gremlin when I need her?’ But no. You were gone. Taken just like that."

He snapped his fingers, inhaling deeply through his nose, trying to control his voice.

"And that?" His tone dropped lower, something raw scraping at the edges. "That was a real bitch."

You pressed a hand against your mouth, trying not to break down, trying to keep yourself as composed as you could.

"You left, and everything was just… quieter. Too quiet. No more blowing out the lab’s power grid on purpose because you got pissed at me. No more stealing my coffee and blaming it on Rhodey. No more dumb science debates about whether or not your powers count as a renewable energy source. Just… nothing."

His fingers curled into a fist, hitting his knuckles lightly against the workbench.

"I miss you, kid. And I know I didn’t say it enough when I had the chance, so I’m saying it now."

A sharp inhale. There was a cut in the footage. Now his position had changed, and he was standing.

"You’re back though. And I need you to listen, alright?"

You sat up nodding, even though he couldn’t see you.

"This thing?" He said, tapping a Neural Stabilizer on his own throat.

"Yeah, I made one for myself. No, I don’t need it. But you’re a visual learner—or maybe you just don’t trust me unless I put myself in your shoes. Either way, I made one so I could show you how easy this is to fix."

He sighed.

"Anyways, let’s be real. If this thing is flickering red, that means something bad happened. Maybe you got hit by an EMP. Maybe you took too many hits in a fight, and someone broke it. Maybe the universe just hates us both equally, who knows. But if it’s failing, that means you’re going to short-circuit because your body won’t know what to do with all the excess energy. And when you short-circuit, so does everything else around you. That means streetlights, security systems, Wi-Fi—" he gestures around him with his hands "—you know, everything people actually need to function."

You sniffled, pressing your fingers against your lips.

"So. Let’s fix it before you blackout an entire city block, huh?"

His eyes softened, something warm but worn behind them.

"You got this, kid. You always have."

A pause.

"Alright. First step—pop the latch. Gently put the screwdriver into the large metal coil, it should be bright orange if the stabilizer is malfunctioning due to the overheating. Twist it counterclockwise. And whatever you do, do not—"

——-

You pressed too hard.

The screwdriver slipped, and another sharp sting burned across your neck, the blood now dripping down your neck and soaking into the tank top you wore.

"Shit." You muttered, your fingers flying to your throat, wiping off the blood as much as you could, your pulse hammering throughout your entire body, as the crimson liquid smeared across your skin.

Before you could even process the impending pain, the Neural Stabilizer’s light turned off completely.

Without missing a beat a violent pulse of static erupted outward, a crackling, jagged burst of energy tearing free from your body.

The lightbulbs overhead shattered, raining sparks and broken glass onto the tiles, lightly cutting up some of your exposed flesh. The mirror fractured down the middle, sharp cracks splintering outward, but not fully falling off the surface.

The entire safe house went dark, the fridge cut out, the security system fried, the cell towers blinked offline. In the kitchen, Bucky sat at the rickety dining table, thinking about whether or not it would be a good idea to try to come in and help. Even after the power surge, he was still on the fence about going and intruding on what was happening in there, not out of fear, but out of what he might have to do to get everything under control.

Inside the bathroom, the only light left was coming from you, and now the soapy smell that had once filled the room had been taken over by the crisp smell of ozone, as if a rain storm just occurred.

Your reflection in the mirror flickered, illuminated by the uneven, stuttering glow of electricity crawling over your skin. Tiny spiderweb cracks of raw current slithered up your arms, twisting beneath the surface, licking along your fingertips, wrapping around your body, almost like it was a reunion. The stabilizer narrowed the current down significantly when it was on, without it there was no regulation.

The charge had nowhere to go. It buzzed, and coiled, desperate for an escape, trying to find something to attach to. Your body felt too full, like a live wire wound too tight, ready to snap apart, and now the pain was truly starting to settle in, deep inside your bones, causing your blood to curl.

"No, no, no—"

You repeated, slamming your hand against the countertop. A sharp crack of static arced outward, splitting the porcelain, hairline fractures splintering in front of you.

Your breath hitched in your throat, as every muscle in your body seized.Your heart pounded painfully against your chest, erratic, frantic—

Then the doorknob rattled.

"Hey."

It was Bucky.

"You okay?"

The words barely registered with you, it sounded muffled, drowned beneath the buzzing that rang through your ears. You could feel your pulse spike violently, as panic slammed through your ribs like a live wire.

You couldn’t answer the simple question.

Couldn’t breathe.

Couldn’t stop the charge from rising once again.

The electricity under your skin wouldn’t settle, wouldn’t stop expanding, the raw static skittered along your body, flaring out in thin veins of uncontrolled current.

"I—" you croaked, holding onto your chest, trying to stabilize your voice from shaking.

The door creaked open.

And before you could even react, the barricade was removed from between the both of you.

Bucky stood in the dim blue glow, still dressed in the majority of his tactical gear, minus the weapons. The glass crunched under his boots as he stepped into the washroom, his sharp and guarded expression softening when his eyes locked onto the scene in front of him.

His gaze flickered over the shattered bulbs, and the fractured mirror, and when he breathed in the smell of static tickled his nose, almost like someone had taken chlorine and mixed it with metal.

Then his eyes landed on you. Your trembling hands, your shaking shoulders, the way your body twitched with the electric currents still pulsing beneath your skin, his eyes watched the glowing cracks spread along your arms. He could see in the lighting that your neck was bleeding, and that your stabilizer was practically fried. At this point, he concluded that he in fact didn’t know where to start.

”Y/N…” His voice was dripping with concern, trying to piece together what he could do.

You tried to speak, tried to tell him to go away but all that came out was a gut-wrenching sob, the panic and fear sinking its claws deeper into your ribs.

"Hey, you need to breathe," Bucky instructed his voice low, calm, and even. But you couldn’t. Couldn’t stop shaking, couldn’t pull yourself back from the static buzzing inside your skull, it was mind-numbing. The only thing that snapped you out of your haze was the crunching of glass beneath Bucky’s boots, as he stepped towards you.

"Don't—" You snapped, desperate to keep him away. "I can’t— I can’t shut it off…Just stay…Stay back Bucky." Your hands trembled, as your arms locked up, the muscles tightening, like a cord was wrapping around them. The crunching noise stopped, but the buzzing in your ears didn’t, as you leaned your body on the sink, moaning through the stinging pain that ran up your spine.

”Listen I can’t just leave you in here like this, what can I do to help?” You could feel your knees go numb while you were trying to contain whatever was building up to release next. You braced yourself against the counter, cushioning the drop to the ground as much as possible. Your bare knees felt the impact of the glass as the sharp edges dug into the thin flesh, a grunt escaping your throat, while you were attempting to shift slightly to the side before putting all your weight on the front portion of the counter.

”Just go away.” Was all you could muster to say through your short sobs of pain, “Please just go.” You begged, tears now streaming down your cheeks, as you put your forehead onto the edge of the porcelain sink, letting the cold temperature even out the heat that was radiating off your skin.

Bucky didn’t move, didn’t heed your request to leave, instead he crouched down, and sat on the glass-covered floor, with his arms resting on his knees. He watched you closely, noting how your body would tremble every couple of seconds, or how the static that covered every exposed area of your skin buzzed lightly at any sign of movement.

”Please leave.” You choked out again, barely above a whisper. Bucky sighed, his jaw clenching at the rawness in your voice. The last-ditch effort to push him away before anything worse happened, before you hurt him.

”I’m not going anywhere Y/N…It would go against my better judgment.” He replied, clenching and unclenching his vibranium hand, contemplating. He knew what he needed to do, but had no clue how he would execute the plan without you possibly lashing out at him.

He glanced back up at you, watching as your grip tightened on the edge of the sink, another strangled whimper escaping into the room. You were already so far gone at this point that there was no way you were going to come back without additional help, at least that’s what Bucky was starting to conclude from what was transpiring in front of him.

Another burst of static snapped out from you, slashing against the mirror, fully breaking the reflective pieces, hearing the shattering as it fell into the sink, splintering, leaving small superficial wounds on the tips of your fingers, lines of red blooming across your knuckles. You didn’t even register the pain.

Bucky barely flinched, because at this point he wasn’t going to wait anymore, and now that you were distracted he took the opportunity. Quickly he brought himself forward and wrapped his vibranium arm around your waist, pulling you against him with more force than he intended. Your back collided against his chest, and immediately you could feel your body locking up in his grip as his other arm wrapped around your waist to try to stabilize you so you weren’t thrashing on the glass-covered ground. You could feel your lungs seize up.

”Let me go!” You twisted violently in his hold, as you dug your nails into his right arm, trying to loosen the restraint he formed around your body. You slammed your back into his chest, attempting to wind him, but it was no use, Bucky was a solid unmoving force at this point, and he remained locked around you. Another fresh stream of tears ran down your cheeks. He could feel your body heating up against his as he adjusted, trying to get you to stop thrashing.

”Bucky, please…” Your voice cracked, a sob tearing from your throat, feeling another burst of static snapping around you, at whatever was near, it was lashing out until it found Bucky’s arm, as the blue static slipped into the limb causing the vibranium to light up. A crackling wave of electricity ran up each plate, filling the thin gaps between each one. This realization only made you thrash against him even harder.

”Y/N I’m fine! Stop it, you’re not hurting me.” He insisted, tightening his arms around you once again as you began to shake against him. “Look,” He murmured. Through the haze of your panic, you forced yourself to focus, your gaze trailing down to the arm that was clenched around you. The shock and static wasn’t building, or lashing outward, it was being absorbed. Bucky could almost feel your body relax at the sight, even though you were still wheezing and breathing too fast.

”It’s not hurting me.” He repeated again, but all you could hear was the buzzing inside your skull, it was deafening. Your vision blurred as you made small attempts to push him away, even though it was of no use, he didn’t budge. He was steady, controlled, and unfazed, as his ears tuned into the way you were breathing, the panicked wheezing.

“Y/N, you have to breathe…Can you feel me breathing?” He asked, trying to hide the urgency behind his voice, adjusting again so now he was able to see the side of your face, and the way your pupils were blown out. His damp hair tickled the side of your face, as he leaned forward trying to make sure you were practically cocooned in him, almost mimicking an emergency blanket in a way. You could feel yourself trembling in his arms, as his right hand came up to intertwine with yours, guiding your palm to rest flat against your chest, right over your heart.

“Y/N, focus on me…If you can hear me, focus on my breathing.” He instructed, holding you closer to him so your back was directly pressed into his chest. You could feel his body rise and fall against you, even, measured…A slow inhale, a gentle exhale.

”Match me.” He whispered, his warm breath sticking to the exposed skin of your shoulder. You attempted to breathe in as deeply as he did, feeling a burning sensation creep up along the sides of your ribs. The exhale came out fast and uneven from you, but Bucky didn’t rush the process, as he took in another breath, his chest expanding against your back. You attempted to take in another breath, but this time it came a little easier, even though it still felt like every bone in your body had its own personal vice grip around it. Black dots began to pebble into your sight, feeling a numbness washing over you.

“Good…Now let it out.” Was the last thing you heard before your vision went dark.

------

The first thing you heard when you regained consciousness was music.

Soft and slow, floating through the air in a smooth jazz melody, rich with nostalgia. The mellow voice of the crooner was claiming he would never smile again, as the lyrics gently carried over the hum of the muted trumpets, the backup singers harmonized the man's sorrow while the serenade continued. It felt like a lullaby that was meant for another time.

Then everything else began to settle in; the bed beneath you, the rough comforter scratching against the backs of your legs. The blanket on top of you pulled up to your neck, enveloping you in its warmth. A dull ache lingered in every area of your body, your hands were sore, your face felt swollen from the crying that you had done, and it felt like if you attempted to move you would throw up. But at least your breathing was finally stable. No longer ragged or filled with panic. It was a relief in a way.

The music continued as your ears caught the sound of a soft tapping in rhythm with the song. A gentle exhale released into the room. Bucky. Slowly, you forced your heavy eyelids open, as the stucco ceiling came into your sight, the dimmed emergency lights providing a soft hue to the space. You tilted your head up so your chin was settled on your chest, noticing that you were still wearing the white tank top that was now stained with your blood. The way you were able to move your neck with such ease also made you realize that you didn’t have your stabilizer on, which brought on another concern, as you laid your eyes on the sight before you.

Bucky sat at the kitchen table, illuminated by his cell phone, which was leaning against one of the salt shakers, the light casting shadows along his jaw and cheeks. His hair looked damp and curled in on itself like he was fresh out of the shower, and you had noticed he wasn’t in his regular combat gear. Instead, he had on a black, form-fitting long-sleeved shirt, and a pair of matching cargo pants. He was so lost in what he was doing that his gaze was practically glued to the table, and you could tell he was fiddling with something that you couldn’t particularly see. You tried to lean up onto your elbows to try and catch a glimpse of what he was doing, only to have your knees scream out in pain when you accidentally bent them. A hiss escaped your throat, automatically breaking Bucky’s concentration on what he was working on, as his head snapped in your direction, putting down whatever he was working on to pay attention to you.

“Take it easy. You still have glass in your knees.” He informed, hesitating to tell you that he hadn’t pulled out the shards when you were passed out. You groaned at the sentence, your body dropping back against the pillow, as you reached up to massage your head, trying to mend an impending migraine.

“I feel like I’ve been through a few rounds with a freight train.” You said, closing your eyes tightly at the sound of the rawness of your voice.

“Well…That’s kind of what happens when you go nuclear on yourself.” He muttered, leaning back in his seat, his gaze locking on you as you dragged your hands down your face. He nervously tapped his fingers on the table, biting the inside of his lip, “You scared me y’know.” The words fell from his mouth before he could even stop himself, the admission causing you to let out a ragged sigh.

“It wasn’t my intention to do that.” He shook his head.

“Intentions don’t mean much when you’re screaming for me to go away and you’ve caused every light bulb in the place to explode.” You could hear the control he had on his voice, the way he took his breaths so that his words didn’t waver. He was bothered by what you had done, there was no doubting that, but you had never heard him speak like this before.

“Are you honestly going to pick a fight with me right now? Could this not wait until the glass gets taken out of my knees?” You snapped, as your body began to slowly heat up. He scoffed at your suggestion, shaking his head in disbelief.

“No. It can’t wait, because the second I come to help you’re going to avoid the conversation.” You rolled your eyes.

“Jesus Christ Bucky. I get it.”

“Do you?” He questioned. You clenched your jaw as you pushed yourself up so you were able to look at him, to hash this out before it killed your partnership. Your knees seared at the quick movement while you settled on the bed, but you shoved the pain aside, keeping the tensity in your eyes.

“I don’t know what the fuck you want me to say. Do you want me to say sorry I didn’t tell you about the stabilizer breaking as I was attempting to not fucking explode around you?!” You shot back, squeezing your hand into a fist, trying to hold in the static that began to line your skin again.

“I want you to say you trust me. Because right now it doesn’t feel like it, and if we’re going to continue working together, I need that reassurance.” You looked up from your hands, catching his hardened gaze, seeing the betrayal in his eyes.

“You know I trust you.” You stated, watching as he shook his head, and stood up from his seat.

“Do I? Because you don’t act like it. Do you remember what just happened an hour and a half ago? You had plenty of opportunity to tell me what the hell was going on and you refused. I had to come in and see you in absolute shambles, do you understand how that felt?” Your eyes followed him as he paced.

“I didn’t want you to see me like that, you made a choi-.”

“I chose to take care of you!” He snapped, his voice raising in volume, the reaction making you flinch, not because you were scared, but because he had never yelled at you like that. “That’s what any teammate would do. But you make it impossible unless it’s forced on you, which is what I had to resort to. Do you think that made me feel good?” He asked, looking over at you, his eyes shimmering in the light. The guilt hit you harder than any punch you had taken, truly realizing how much pain you had put him in. You could see the way his hands twitched at his sides, remembering the way he was holding you and restraining your movements, reliving the moment over and over again as you fought against him.

“I-I was afraid I was going to hurt you Bucky, that’s why I was fighting you. I didn’t want to hurt you, or even worse kill you…” The words were heavy when they left your lips, “You may think you’re invincible, but you could’ve died…And then what? I lose another person I care about?” You could immediately see his eyes soften at your words and the way that your voice was shaking and cracking as you attempted to keep it steady. He held your gaze, keeping his spot at the side of the table, but now he was holding the edge of it, leaning on it for support. You could see the frustration in his eyes draining away with every moment that passed as he connected the dots.

“So that’s what this is about?” He asked softly, the sharpness from earlier being replaced with something gentler, caring. He ran his hand through his hair,“...You do know I’m 106 years old and have gone through way worse than a little bit of electricity right?” You were surprised by the sudden change in his tone, detecting the trail of humour that laced his words.

“And that this new arm…” He lifted his vibranium hand into your line of sight, flexing his fingers, letting the dim light catch against the matte black material “Doesn’t allow you to hurt me correct? The material just absorbs it. You saw it when I showed you in the washroom, you even stopped fighting me when you saw it. It doesn’t have a voltage limit or anything so…I don’t think it would’ve been possible for you to kill me. Does that help cure your worries?” He asked, letting the question hang in the air, leaning against the table again. You let out a slow breath and nodded, but you didn’t reply, you just let the intensity of the argument die down. The jazz music faded in again now, filling the silence for a few beats until you absentmindedly replied to him.

“You’re 106?” His lips pressed into a firm line, thrown off by the abrupt shift in conversation.

“That’s all you got from that speech I just gave you? Really?” You shrugged.

“I mean…You carry yourself pretty well, you don’t look a day over 100.” You said, tilting your head to the side to feign consideration “Mmm, actually maybe I would even go as far as saying you could pass for 90.” He shook his head at you, but you could see he was fighting a smile from appearing on his lips, as he reached up to rub the stubble on his face.

“Absolutely ridiculous.” He wasn’t annoyed, nor frustrated, it sounded like he was relieved, because neither of you wanted to admit it, but you didn’t like where the conversation was going, the both of you didn’t want to fight over something like that, you were supposed to be partners. The weight of the argument was settled, and you both were thankful for that. You let some time pass, just to allow each other to come down from the adrenaline until you cleared your throat.

“I’m sorry by the way.” You said quietly, earning a soft sigh from him, he opened his mouth to interrupt, but you held up your hand to stop him, “I didn’t mean to shut you out. You had every right to be angry with me, and I shouldn’t have fought you, I should’ve just allowed you to help me.” Bucky nodded, his blue eyes locking onto yours again.

“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to yell at you, I lost my temper…And I didn’t mean to scare you. I wasn’t mad, I was just-.” He paused for a moment, inhaling deeply “I just didn’t like seeing you like that.” Your fingers tightened around the blanket at his admission, but you nodded as well to acknowledge you heard him. You let the moment breathe, still feeling the lingering guilt of how angry he had been just a few minutes prior, but what sat in your chest was how bothered he was by your pain because it wasn’t about the outburst itself, it was about what it meant. The way he snapped was his way of trying to convey that your well-being was important to him, and even the thought of that made something in you seize up. So much for keeping the partnership strictly mission-based I guess, you thought as you shifted on the mattress, only to be reminded of the searing pain coming from your legs.

“Now that we’re done arguing…Do you mind taking the glass out of my knees now?” You asked, cringing at the sharp burning sensation that radiated throughout your kneecaps with each slight movement you made to try and get yourself in a better position to attempt to ease the pain, to no avail.

“Oh Jesus, yeah of course. Sorry.” He replied sheepishly as if he had forgotten about what he had said at the beginning of the argument. Bucky worked with a quiet urgency, collecting the first aid kit, and a basin to put the shards of glass in, stopping for a moment at the table to pause the music on his phone before picking up your stabilizer from where he had been sitting. When he had turned back to you he could see the look of surprise on your face, as your eyes trailed over it, seeing the familiar blue glow that indicated it was fixed.

“I figured it wouldn’t hurt to attempt to work on it while you were passed out,” He explained, looking down at the curved titanium while he made his way over to the bed, “Don’t really know if I actually fixed the thing, but it’s not glowing red or anything so I’m assuming I made a bit of progress.” He shrugged, as he sat down in front of you, settling the first aid kit down before handing the stabilizer over to you, feeling your fingers brush against his gently, watching you take it from him with a small smile on your face. You looked at it closely, your fingertips buzzing in anticipation, the cool weight of the titanium almost bringing you a wave of relief. You felt around for the familiar latch at the back of the stabilizer, clicking it open with a gentle hiss, your eyes glancing up to meet Bucky’s blue irises.

“It’s looking promising.” You joked, seeing his lips turn up slightly, before tilting your head back to expose your neck, brushing your hair aside. Carefully you aligned the stabilizer against your throat, settling it into place as the soft hum of the hydraulics pulled the device together, allowing it to lock around your neck. You rested your hands against the edges of it, waiting for a moment, allowing it to calibrate. Bucky watched you, trying to see if there was any sign that he had messed up somehow, thinking about the wires he cut and shifted when he began his attempt on fixing the thing, hoping to god it wasn’t something important. A beat of silence passed over the both of you quickly, being quenched with a soft exhale.

“Seems like you actually did it.” You informed, turning your head from side to side to ensure everything was properly secured.

“You sound surprised,” Bucky replied, feigning offence.

“Hmm. Tony made this thing idiot-proof, so I’m a bit taken aback by your…Skills.” His eyebrows raised at you, shaking his head as he flipped open the first aid kit.

“It’s not like I have an arm that’s state-of-the-art technology or something like that.” He shot back, sarcasm dripping from every word he spoke while he collected a few alcohol pads, tweezers, and gauze from the inside of the container. “Now…Ready to play Operation?” He asked jokingly.

“Just what I need, Bucky Barnes playing surgeon.” You replied, adjusting your position so that your knees were bent between the both of you, pulling the blanket off carefully just in case any of the glass had accidentally caught on any of the fibres. When the damage came into your line of sight you could practically feel your stomach twist and turn into knots. The blood was dry and streaked in the crevices of your knees. Tiny shards of glass embedded themselves like fractured stars in the thin flesh that lined the bone, glinting under the soft light. Some pieces were deep, surrounded by angry red welts where your body had begun trying to reject them. Others sat more superficially, barely hanging on but all of it looked raw, swollen, and painful. You could feel yourself get lightheaded just by looking at it.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” You announced, throwing yourself down onto the mattress, the back of your head hitting the pillow, “I can’t look at it.”

“You’re telling me out of all the things you’ve seen, this is the thing that does you in?” He commented, “Now that’s disappointing.” You groaned, putting your arm over your face.

“It’s different when it’s my blood.” He let out a small laugh, the bed shifting under his weight as he adjusted, positioning his vibranium hand between the bend of your left knee to keep it still, the coolness causing you to tense up.

“Alright, I’ll go slow. Ready?” You nodded, keeping your face covered, attempting to hide the blush that began to rise on your cheeks, feeling him pull out one of the smaller pieces of glass, starting easy. He dropped it into the steel bowl, dabbing the blood off your skin with gauze, as he continued his feat, getting close enough that his breath fanned over the wound. You shut your eyes tightly, another sharp jolt of pain shooting up your leg, your other hand digging into the comforter beneath you.

“God damn it Bucky.” You hissed, your knee jerking involuntarily, his grip keeping you steady.

“Almost got it, just hold still.” His voice was soft, focused on grabbing onto the tip of the glass that he had been pulling out seconds before, the slow meticulous movements bringing you to the brink of screaming

“Okay. I need you to talk or something. Distract me before I start destroying the place please.”

“What do you want to talk about?” Bucky asked with hesitation, another piece of glass clanging against the steel bowl.

“Tell me something you liked…Before everything. Something you miss maybe.” He hummed, going for another shard of glass.

“Music…And dancing too I guess.” You took your arm away from your face, pushing yourself up onto your elbows, looking at him with your eyebrows raised.

“You? Dancing?” For a brief moment, he glanced up at you with a smirk plastered on his lips.

“What? You don’t believe me?” You shrugged.

“I just can’t picture Bucky Barnes on the dance floor, were you like John Travolta in Saturday Night Fever?” His brow furrowed for a moment, confused at what you were referring to.

“Saturday Night what?” You let out a breathy laugh.

“You’ve never seen that movie?” He gave you a flat look, returning his eyes to your knees, taking out another piece of glass and wiping the droplets of blood that slid down your skin.

“I’ve been frozen in ice, brainwashed, and playing assassin for half a century. You think I’ve had time to watch movies?” You leaned back a little, resting your weight on your elbows.

“Fair point, but it’s a classic Bucky. The disco music, the bell bottoms, the gyrating.” You reminisced, watching as his lips pressed tightly together.

“Pretty sure I was not gyrating on the dancefloor.” He commented back, another piece of glass joining the pile as he moved to your other knee, his hand leaving your skin briefly before mirroring the same position with the other leg.

“So what kind of dancing did you do then?” A smirk appeared on his lips, his eyes crinkling, showing off what little wrinkles he had.

“Ballroom, Swing if I was feeling fancy.” You grinned.

“Very nice.” You could see his cheeks dusting red slightly, as he dropped another piece of glass into the bowl, wiping your knee.

“What can I say…I had the moves.”

“Had?” He glanced up at you, his teeth showing slightly now, a genuine smile appearing on his face, something you had not seen before from him.

“Careful, it sounds like you want to find out.” The way his voice dropped made a satisfying shiver shoot up your spine, but you kept your expression neutral, lifting an eyebrow at him.

“Oh yeah? You offering to take me out dancing Bucky?” He shrugged, shifting in his spot to get a bit more comfortable, latching onto another piece of glass.

“Maybe.” Glancing up to see your reaction, noticing that you were blushing as well. You shook your head at him.

“Please, if we ever went out dancing you’d throw me around like a ragdoll and I’d end up concussed.” He laughed deeply, returning his eyes to your knees.

“Nah...You’d be good, I can tell.” You squinted at him.

”Oh yeah? And how exactly did you come to that conclusion?” Bucky smirked, his hand shifting to adjust your leg, the tweezers grabbing on to another glass shard.

”You move well. Quick on your feet, and you can keep up with me.” You scoffed at his comment, your body tensing as the pain from your knee was slowly building up again.

”You make it sound like fighting and dancing are the same thing.” He hummed, distracted from the conversation for a brief moment. You glanced at him, noticing that he was holding his breath as he pulled the large shard of glass out, bringing the cracked and bloodied piece up to your sight, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Well, they’re not all that different. Both are about timing. About knowing your partner.” Bucky replied, his voice low and smooth. Another clang echoed throughout the room while he grabbed a fresh gauze pad to press down onto the weeping wound. You swallowed, shifting against the mattress, trying to ignore the warmth that crept up your back.

”So what, you’re saying we’d make a good dancing pair?” You could feel the way his fingers flexed at the question, his cold vibranium thumb running over the bottom of your knee. He didn’t look up right away, still applying pressure on the wound that continued to slowly bleed.

”I think we already do.” He murmured, lifting his gaze to meet yours. You could see the way his eyes scanned over yours, the way that his jaw clenched just for a split second. An unwavering heat crept up the back of your neck, flushing your chest and the surrounding area of skin red.

“Yeah? What makes you so sure?” His eyes never left yours as he adjusted his grip again, letting his fingers freely brush against your skin, as if he didn’t realize what he was doing.

”I know how you move, and you never have problems following instructions when you’re given them.” Your fingers twitched against the sheets, the words sinking into you. He wasn’t wrong, not one bit, but it was the way he said it, and the way his breath hit your skin, the sensations were crowding you at that point that it was starting to become increasingly difficult to keep yourself cool.

”Sounds a bit cocky if you’d ask me.” He dropped the tweezers into the bowl, throwing the saturated gauze on top of it, as he wet his bottom lip with his tongue.

”Not cocky, just observant, that's all.” His voice was low, sultry, you didn’t know if he meant for it to come out so soft, but it still made you feel motion sickness. Before you could even stop to think about what you were going to do, you reached down, your fingers holding the back of his bicep, gripping onto the cool vibranium through the sleeve of his shirt as you pulled yourself up.

The second you entered his space, his eyes were locked onto yours, wide and searching, like he was surprised you decided to pull that little move. You could feel the warmth radiating off of him now, and you were hyper-aware of how his chest rose and fell now that you were closer to him, the shallowness of his breaths coming to your attention almost immediately.

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking over at your hand sliding up, gliding over the curve of his shoulder. His hand remained behind your knee, as the other one gripped the mattress beside him, unsure if he should reach out to bring you closer. You tilted your head forward, your lips dangerously close to his, as the both of you exchanged breaths.

”Getting comfortable.” You whispered, watching his jaw tense at your words, his fingers twitching against your skin. He tilted his head back slightly, letting out a sigh.

”You don’t want this, Y/N.” Your brows furrowed at the hesitancy in his voice, but before you could protest he continued, “It’s been a long time…Since I’ve…” He paused, looking back at you, “I just don’t want to disappoint you.” You could hear the vulnerability in his voice mixing with embarrassment, as he avoided your eyes still. Slowly, you slid your hands down the front of his shirt, feeling his chest tense up beneath your touch as your fingers gripped the fabric gently.

“You won’t disappoint me Bucky,” His hands flexed at your words like he was battling with himself as he returned his eyes to yours, allowing the both of you to really look at each other. You had never noticed the way his eyes glistened in the light or the way his pupils ate away at the blueness of his irises.

You shifted onto your knees, being mindful of the ache, but ignoring it in favour of attempting to bring yourself closer to him, as you slid your fingers upward, tracing the outline of his collarbone. Carefully, you moved, sliding yourself into his lap, feeling his body stiffen beneath you, his hands coming up to hold your waist out of instinct. Your fingers curled around the chain of his dog tags, feeling the cool metal in your hands, as you leaned in, letting your lips ghost over the rough stubble along his jaw.

”It’s been a long time for me too.” You admitted softly, your breath warm against his skin, his fingers gripping you just a little tighter, feeling your lips press a gentle kiss on his neck. His breath left him slowly, his vibranium hand coming up to cup the side of your face.

”Yeah?” His voice filled with uncertainty, as you pulled back to look down at him, nodding, threading your fingers into his damp hair.

”I also don’t know what I’m doing half the time either,” You replied, tilting yourself forward, bringing your lips close to his, “But I know I want this…And I know I want you.” You admitted, closing the space between the both of you, your lips meeting his. Bucky let out a sound that was a cross between a sharp inhale and a groan, as his arm slid around your waist wrapping around you so your body was flush against his chest. His thumb traced along your cheek as he leaned up, trying to basically crawl into you.

The kiss was tentative at first, slow and meticulous, like he was memorizing the feeling of your lips against his, the way you pulled on his hair, and the small moans that escaped into the air as he kept you pressed against his chest. A soft hum vibrated from your throat when his lips parted just enough to deepen the kiss, your tongue meeting his in a battle for dominance.

Bucky was the first one to break the kiss, overwhelmed by all the sensations that were hitting him at the same time. He rested his forehead against yours, catching his breath, as his arm tightened around you, trying to steady himself. You opened your eyes, your hands coming up to hold his face, pulling back to look at him, seeing the softness in his stare, like he was in a daze.

”You sure it’s been a while since you’ve done this?” He let out a laugh, shaking his head.

”Yeah, I’m positive.” He replied, his eyes scanning over your swollen lips, “It’s muscle memory I guess.” You smirked at him, your thumbs dragging over the stubble on his face.

“I think you just know what you’re doing.” You whispered, your compliment causing him to blush.

”You flatter me…” Before you could respond, Bucky shifted, his arm tightening around your waist as he moved forward. In one fluid motion, he eased you down onto the mattress, his body following closely behind, blanketing you in his warmth, anticipation thrumming beneath your skin, your legs wrapping around his hips. He braced his weight against his vibranium hand, as his eyes traced over every detail of your face. Your fingers curled over the neckline of his shirt, pulling him closer to you so that he could capture your lips with his again, his body pressing against yours in a way that sent a pool of heat into your lower stomach. He savoured every moment, feeling the way your legs tightened around him, pulling him even closer to you, the heat of your body surrounding him like a shield of sorts. It was intoxicating to the point where it made his head spin. You arched into him instinctively, dragging your hands down to the hem of his shirt, slipping them beneath the covering so that your fingers could dance across the muscles of his stomach, feeling them twitch against your touch. He let out a stuttered breath as he broke the kiss, leaning back so that he could pull his shirt off for you, throwing it to the side in one smooth motion.

The dim lighting of the room casted shadows over the hard planes of his chest, accentuating every defined ridge of muscle he had. Your eyes drifted to where flesh met metal, to the seam where his vibranium arm connected to his shoulder. The skin around it was littered with thick scarred tissue, jagged and slightly raised. You couldn’t imagine how many procedures he had been put through to get him to this point, but all you could think about was the pain he must’ve gone through. You continued to look him over, his dog tags catching your eyes for a moment, your hand reaching up to grab it gently.

”You’re staring,” He commented, his hand wrapping around your wrist, feeling your pulse bounding against his fingertips.

”It’s the first time I’m seeing you like this…Give me a little grace.” You joked, running your thumb over his name on the dog tag. He allowed you to take your time with him, knowing that he would probably do something similar when the roles became reversed.

“I didn’t take you for the sentimental type.” He murmured, his voice quieter than before, reserved for such an intimate moment.

”I’m just trying to memorize all of it.” You replied, letting your hand fan out over his chest, the steady rhythm of his heart pulsing against your palm. His lips parted for a moment, almost in disbelief that you liked what you were seeing, as he brought your hand up to his mouth, gently kissing the back of it, keeping his eyes on yours. His vibranium fingers raced absentminded circles along the skin of your exposed hip, his thumb brushing along the hem of your tank top, hesitating to make his next move. You sat up slightly, giving him the go-ahead to pull the shirt off of you, feeling the cool metal graze against the sensitive flesh of your ribs, as you raised your arms above your head allowing him to remove the top with ease, watching him throw it off the side of the bed. His gaze dropped to your body, roaming over every expanse of skin he could see, as you laid back down on the mattress, putting yourself under the spotlight this time.

Just like Bucky, you had your own set of war wounds, only they were caused by your own hands. The marks on your skin were not ordinary bruises, Bucky had never seen anything like them before, and the level of concern behind his eyes made you speak up.

“They’re Lichtenberg figures…People get them when they’re struck by lightning, and well…You can connect the dots as to why I have them of course.” They branched across your torso in breathtaking patterns, thin fractals of darkened reds stretching from the center of your chest and curling down your ribs, sprawling out like frozen lightning, captured in the canvas of your body. Some of the marks ran deeper, more defined, where the energy had burned through your skin with more force. Others faded into the natural warmth of your body, barely there but still visible under the dim light of the room. His eyes roamed over them, committing the patterns to memory, as he reached out with his right hand, hesitating for a moment.

“Do they hurt?” You looked up at him, shaking your head.

“No. There’s so much scarred tissue at this point that the area is pretty much numb.” You explained, feeling his calloused fingers trailing over the patterns on your torso while his vibranium hand remained on your hip, holding you still. He hummed, leaning forward to place a gentle kiss against your collarbone.

“They’re beautiful.” He whispered, his breath hitting the shell of your ear, your heart immediately swelling at his words, feeling his lips pecking along your shoulder, as his hand continued to trace along the etched fractals, moving up towards your breasts. He pulled back for a moment, breathing against the little wet marks he had left on your skin, cooling them down before returning to his exploration, kissing over the swell of your breast, his lips parting against the sensitive flesh, sucking just enough to leave faint red marks behind. You tensed beneath his touch, arching your back towards him, his fingers digging into your hip, pushing you back down against the mattress, his lips turning up into a smile against your skin.

“Stay still.” His voice vibrated against you, feeling his fingers trailing down the side of your rib cage, his lips gently making their descent down your sternum, his teeth grazing down the pathway, sending a shiver up your spine, your fingers finding their way to his hair, carding them through the damp strands.

“You’re making this hard Bucky.” He glanced up at you, his blue eyes darkened with lust.

“That’s the whole point.” He replied, continuing to trail down your stomach, his stubble scraping down your skin, before kissing right above your navel, “I want to take my time with you.” He whispered, bringing his right hand down to hold onto your thigh against him, the rough callouses causing goosebumps to rise beneath his touch. You tugged on his hair, feeling him move even lower so his lips were right just above the waistband of your shorts, his head tilting up to look at you. You held his gaze, your chest rising and falling with each uneven breath you took. A smirk played on his lips, and without breaking eye contact, he pressed a slow, deliberate kiss just above the fabric, his stubble scraping against your skin in a way that sent a delicious ache spreading through you.

“Can I take these off?” He asked gently, his fingers playing lightly with the waistband, teasing you when his thumb dipped below it for a fraction of a second before returning to its spot.

“Yes…Please.” Your voice sounded so desperate, choked up with tension, feeling him hook his fingers around the fabric before slowly pulling them down your hips, then down your thighs, only moving away from you to remove the shorts from your body completely, letting it join the increasing pile of clothes that began to form on the floor. His jaw clenched at the sight of you in front of him, your body laid out beneath his, completely bare except for your underwear. His hands moved slowly, as he grasped the back of your thighs, his thumbs pressing gently into your skin. You reached for him, your fingers tracing up his forearms, craving for him to return to where he had been just moments ago, the anticipation winding tight in your stomach. He leaned back down towards you, bringing your legs up over his broad shoulders, pulling you closer to him as he settled between your thighs, pressing an open-mouthed kiss to the inside of your knee, the warmth of his breath sending a shudder through you. His grip on your thighs was firm but careful, as his mouth moved up towards your underwear, his stubble scraping lightly against your skin, leaving a whisper of friction that only added to the tension that coiled deep in the core of your stomach. Your fingers tangled into his hair again, pulling gently, wordlessly begging him to continue. You could feel him smile against the skin of your inner thighs, enjoying how desperate you were becoming.

“Bucky.” You whispered, your voice breaking with such need that it almost burned through your body. He looked up at you, his darkened eyes gazing into your soul, reading you like you were an open book. His lips parted slightly as his right hand left the top of your thigh, skimming his fingers over the damped fabric of your underwear.

“So impatient.” He murmured, trying to keep his voice from wavering, attempting to keep the dominance in his tone, even though it was becoming harder and harder with every shaky breath you took. His lips brushed over the fabric, breathing out against your arousal as your thighs tightened on his neck, a soft moan escaping your throat.

“Bucky, please…” You begged, your fingers pulling on his hair, the teasing pushing you over the edge. A smirk ghosted across his lips at your pleas, and then with an agonizing slowness he hooked his fingers into the fabric of your underwear, dragging it gently to the side, baring you to him completely. His eyes flicked up to yours, his pupils blown out enough to where you were almost unable to see the ring of blue that surrounded it, and in that moment, you could see that he was as desperate as you were. Then finally, he pressed his mouth against you.

The first touch was barely there, a soft kiss placed deliberately beside where you needed him the most, to tease you, before his lips parted and his tongue dragged up your slit, not wanting to hinder himself any longer. Your head fell back against the pillow, a choked gasp escaping your lips at the sensation and warmth of his mouth wrapping around your clit, humming at the way your thighs flexed against his face, rubbing against his stubble. His tongue continued to circle against the bundle of nerves, his eyes burning into your skin, watching as you arched your back, grinding yourself on his mouth, wordlessly begging that you wanted more. His right hand slid up to your core, coating his fingers in your arousal before slipping two of them in with ease, looking at the way your mouth dropped open as he curled them inside you, finding a pace that matched the way his tongue worked against your clit.

Your fingers continued to tangle deeper into his hair, but before you could pull, his vibranium hand wrapped around one of your wrists, pulling it away gently, feeling him pin your arm down against the mattress beside you, sliding his fingers down to intertwine with yours. The contrast of the heat that was pooling in your stomach and the cold of his hand sent a shiver through you, heightening every moment, every touch, and every movement he made against you, unraveling you piece by piece.

Your heartbeat pounded in your ears, the pressure in your lower stomach growing unbearable, his increasing pace pushing you closer and closer to the edge. He could feel the way you clenched around his fingers, and how you trembled beneath him, rocking against his mouth.

”Bucky-“ His name left your lips in a strangled breath, your gaze returning to his, realizing that he had been watching you this entire time, enamoured by your body and the way it reacted to him. His grip on your hand tightened, grounding you to the moment, your legs clenching around his head again just as his tongue flattened against you and his fingers curled a little more inside you, picking up the pace. For a split second he took his mouth off you.

“Let go for me sweetheart.” He instructed, his voice laced with such need and devotion that you could feel your entire body tense up, feeling his mouth returning to your clit once again, his tongue working against you with such purpose that all the air in your lungs ceased to exist. Your thighs twitched against the sides of his head, his lips wrapping around your clit with a slow and deliberate pull, which caused the tension in your stomach to snap.

A sharp moan tore through you, as he pressed his face against you even more, allowing himself to feel the way you shuddered beneath him. The air crackled faintly, as static danced along your skin, noticing the way Bucky’s arm plates flickered a light blue for a brief moment. His grip on your hand tightened, and his movements didn’t falter, allowing himself to slow down just enough to guide you through the aftershocks of your orgasm, until your body finally relaxed against the mattress, utterly spent.

Gently he pulled away from your soaked core, pressing a wet kiss to the inside of your thigh, before removing his glistening fingers from you and sitting up slightly. His lips were slick with your arousal, and the expression on his face was something between pride and awe, as he crawled back on top of you, caging your body in his warmth.

“You were incredible.” He whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, the sweet reminance of you being tasted on his tongue, “You did so good.” He added, bringing his fingers to your mouth, watching as you sucked the rest of your arousal off of them, your tongue carefully flicking against them.

“Christ.” Was all he could manage to say, as he slowly pulled his fingers from your mouth, letting them drag down your swollen lower lip, watching the saliva glisten over the reddened skin where you had been biting. The hard outline of him pressed against your thigh as he shifted above you, bringing his mouth to yours again, wanting to savour every kiss you gave him. His dog tags grazed the middle of your chest, cooling your overheated skin which now had a faint film of sweat forming on it, as you let out a soft moan when he rolled his hips against your aching heat, pressing hard so you could feel him. Bucky pulled away from the kiss, almost with a disappointed look on his face, a moment of realization shining in his eyes.

”Shit…Y/N I don’t have condoms.” He whispered, putting his forehead onto your collarbone, breathing heavily, trying to steady himself. You smirked at his despair, as you laced your fingers into his hair and tugged it so he could look at you.

”I have an implant, Bucky.” You informed, watching the relief wash over his face, a long sigh escaping his lips.

”Thank god.” Was all he could say before sitting back onto his knees, moving quickly to rid you of your underwear and himself of his cargo pants and boxers. You couldn’t help but giggle at his eagerness as he shifted his weight to take everything off all at once, and also just enough to knock the first aid kit and the metal bowl of glass right off the bed.

The sharp clang causes the both of you to freeze, as Bucky’s eyes flicker over to the mess before returning to you, waiting for your reaction, watching your hand come up to cover your mouth to stop a laugh from escaping it.

“Real smooth.” You teased, hearing him let out a breathless chuckle.

”Not my best moment.” He admitted with a crooked grin, rubbing the back of his neck, bringing his hand over to touch your thigh. You reached up to wrap your hand around his forearm, before pulling him towards you.

”I find it kind of endearing that you’re all nervous and flustered.” He let out a quiet laugh, as he settled between your legs once again.

“You make it hard to keep my composure.” Your fingers skimmed up his arm, feeling his bicep twitching beneath your touch, while he adjusted himself against you, bringing his vibranium hand up to your throat to hold it gently, tilting your head up to meet his eyes before his mouth captured yours again in a hunger filled kiss, feeling your hips raising to meet his, in a silent plea. A low groan escaped him as his length grinded against your wet heat, attempting to hold himself back for just a few moments before he got lost in you. He pulls away from your lips again, leaning back so he can line himself up with you. Your eyes trail down to his cock, seeing that it’s already glistening with precum, the tip a light red, practically begging to be seated inside you. He’s way above average, and the way he pumps himself in his hand almost makes you come right then and there. He could see the lust in your eyes, the way your mouth opened just a little at the sight in front of you.

“You sure you can take me sweetheart? You’re already shaking.” He pointed out, a teasing smile coming up on his wet lips.

“I need you Bucky…Please…” The words fell from you in a whimper, as his vibranium hand slid from your throat to cup the side of your face.

“Okay, okay, I won’t tease you anymore…Relax for me.” He whispered, as he aligned himself with your entrance, coating himself in your arousal. You could feel yourself clench around nothing in anticipation for him, feeling as he gently pushed into you, the delicious stretch was just enough to make you gasp, and tighten around him, your eyes closing to take all the sensations in at once. Bucky leaned onto you, his lips brushing against yours.

”Look at me,” He ordered softly, “I want to see those pretty eyes while I’m inside you.” You moaned at his comment, bringing your half-lidded, pleasure hazed gaze up to meet his, as your jaw went slack, feeling him pushing deeper, inch by inch.

“That’s it,” He praised, “You’re taking me in so well, and you’re so fucking tight…All for me.” He was breathless, continuing to move slowly, his pelvis finally meeting yours when he bottomed out. He gave you a gentle kiss, like he was rewarding you for listening to him, a soft moan escaping your throat. Your walls fluttered around him as he drew back a bit before thrusting forward, hitting a spot inside you that made your vision blur.

”Oh my god Bucky…” You whimpered, his hand coming up to hold just above your stabilizer, a smile coming up on his lips as he repeated the same motion, pulling the same reaction from you.

“There you go,” He coaxed, “That’s the spot, isn’t it?” You could only nod, your nails digging into his shoulders, dragging them down his back.

”Say it, sweetheart…Tell me how good it feels.” He whispers, his breath hitting your lips as he continues to move, pulling out just a little more, bringing his hips to yours again just a little harder, eliciting another gasp from throat.

”You feel s-so good.” Your words caught on the sheer pleasure of the way he filled you, your fingers digging into the muscles of his back.

”That’s my girl…You were made for this weren’t you?” He asked, grinning from ear to ear, savouring the way you writhed beneath him, reacting to his movements and words. He pressed another kiss to your lips, pulling his hand from your neck, and sliding it down between the both of you to press just above your pubic bone. The added pressure made every movement of his hips feel like explosions throughout your body.

“You feel that hmm? How deep I am inside of you?” Your walls clenched around him, as your eyes closed again, another strangled moan escaping into the room, your nails dragging across his skin again.

”Bucky, o-oh my god.” Was all you could manage to say, your legs locking around his waist, your abdomen tensing beneath his touch. He began to pick up the pace, the both of you exchanging breaths and gasps into each other's mouths, as he nipped at your bottom lip gently.

”You’re so fucking perfect.” He praised, feeling your fingers curl into his hair, trying to ground yourself against the overwhelming heat of his body grinding into yours. His lips traveled along your jawline, pressing open-mouthed kisses along the column of your throat, sucking the sensitive skin, putting a mark on a spot that would be visible to everyone, snapping his hips against yours, earning another cry from your lips.

“I love fucking hearing you.” He whispered, devouring every reaction you gave him, your walls clenching around him, throwing off his rhythm for a moment as he brought his face back up to yours. “You’re so fucking close, aren’t you?” He asked, watching you nod frantically, unable to focus on the task at forming words. He removed the pressure he was placing above your pubic bone, only to bring his fingers to your swollen clit, pressing against it. Your body arched against his, as he began to draw tight, slow circles around the bundle of nerves.

”Come for me Y/N…Let me feel it.” His voice cracked, his breath ragged. Before your brain could even register his words the pleasure ripped through you, as your body shook beneath his, your nails now digging into his flesh, causing him to gasp at the sharp sting. Your vision was blurred, and you could’ve sworn you felt a few tears fall out of the corners of your eyes as you clenched down harder on his cock, another static pulse igniting from you, wrapping around Bucky’s arm and fading out quickly. He kissed you again, consuming you completely, bringing his hand back up to your neck just to hold it, feeling your pulse beneath his fingertips, picking up the speed of his thrusts, the pace becoming rougher and more desperate. You grabbed onto his vibranium hand, gasping for air.

”I’m gonna fill you up so much that I’m gonna be dripping out of you for days.” He growled, tightening his grip on your hand, as the burning tension in him finally snapped, the hand on your neck tightening for a brief moment, his body stiffening above you. He let out a long groan against your lips as he spilled into you, bucking his hips towards yours to push the warmth of him deeper inside, fulfilling his promise. The weight of him sank against you as his head dropped to the crook of your neck, kissing any portion of skin that he could reach.

A minute passed, maybe more, as the both of you laid there, catching your breath, while he softened inside you. He kept his hand at your neck, his thumb idly tracing over your pulse, while his vibranium fingers remained intertwined with yours, not wanting to pull away just yet. You tilted your head back against the pillow, as you let out a breathless laugh, breaking the silence that had settled between you. Bucky lifted his head slightly, eyebrows raised, his lips twitching at the corners.

”What’s funny?” He asked, as you turned your head to look at him, amusement dancing within your tired eyes.

”That tone you were using was so fucking hot.” You could see he was amused by your admission.

”Really?” He asked, his smirk growing wider and wider.

”Yeah…I mean I knew you could be confident, but that? Holy shit Bucky.” He laughed at the way you were rambling.

”I didn’t know you liked being talked through it like that, I was just kind of filling the silence.” He responded, watching as your eyebrows raised.

”THAT was filling the silence?!” He shrugged.

”Just got creative. It was really easy too, cause you looked so pretty under me.” He complimented, pressing a kiss against your lips, you hummed.

”Well consider me very appreciative of your sudden creativity.” You murmured.

”I guess I’ll have to add it to my sex repertoire for next time.” You raised your eyebrows at him.

”You want there to be a next time?” He laughed at your shock, as his hand tightened around yours.

”Oh Y/N, if you give me a few minutes to recover that next time will come really quickly.” He commented, earning a loud laugh from you.

[00valentina-writes00]

Loser! Ellie x Reader loosely based off Why'd You Only Call Me When You're High? By Arctic Monkeys

Where they flirt on and off but the only time Ellie has the guts to call and flirt is when she's high and reader thinks that means she's not really into her and is just playing with her feelings

It's stuck in my head, and I think of her when I listen to that song. U can twist it any way u want!! 💙

♡♥︎ Only When You’re High ♥︎♡

Warnings: slight angst, awkward flirting, feelings of insecurity, emotional misunderstandings, high Ellie, and general Ellie being a mess.

Ellie Williams was trouble, that much was clear. You could feel it in the way she looked at you when she thought you weren’t paying attention, the way her eyes lingered just a second too long on your lips. You could feel it in the way her smirk always followed a joke that wasn’t funny, and in the way her laugh never really reached her eyes.

You didn’t know what she wanted from you—sometimes she was practically impossible to read, and other times she was so obvious that it hurt. But that was Ellie. She’d flirt with you just enough to make you second guess yourself. And then when you thought maybe—just maybe—there was something real between you, she would pull away. It made your stomach turn.

And Ellie, being Ellie, only ever called when she was high. You had started to think that maybe she was just using you for fun. Maybe she didn’t really care at all. She’d stumble over her words when she was buzzed, slurring out flirty comments with a grin that made your heart race, but when she wasn’t high, she couldn’t look at you the same way. It made you feel foolish for ever getting your hopes up in the first place.

This wasn’t the first time you’d noticed it.

You were sitting on your couch, absently scrolling through your phone, when your screen lit up with Ellie’s name. Of course, you were immediately suspicious. Was she drunk again? High? Both?

You answered it anyway.

“Hey, loser,” you said, trying to mask the slight bitterness in your voice.

Ellie chuckled through the phone, the sound thick with smoke, a bit too high to care about how loud she was. “Heyyy, what’s up?” Her voice was syrupy and slow, making you roll your eyes. This was exactly what you didn’t need.

“Not much,” you replied, crossing your arms over your chest, “What about you? High again, I take it?”

Ellie paused for a beat, her laugh soft and laced with something you couldn’t quite place. “Maybe,” she hummed, “What’s it to you?”

You rolled your eyes, though a smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. You had never quite figured out why she only ever reached out to you when she was in this state, but it never stopped you from answering.

“Nothing,” you said, leaning back into the couch, “Just wondering if you were gonna actually talk to me sober for once.”

Ellie didn’t seem to catch the underlying sting in your words. “Pffft, I talk to you all the time,” she said, the words dragging out, “I flirt with you all the time. You’re just too oblivious to notice.”

Your heart skipped a beat. Maybe it was the way she said it, like she was teasing, or maybe it was because you wanted to believe it. But you couldn’t help the skepticism that ran through you. “Ellie, stop messing with me. You only call me when you’re like this. You only talk to me when you’re high.”

There was a pause on the other end. You could practically hear her thinking, trying to come up with something to say, but instead, she just let out a long breath.

“Is that a problem?” she asked, a little more serious than you were used to hearing her.

You blinked, caught off guard by her tone. It wasn’t often that Ellie stopped being playful—maybe that’s why you had this sinking feeling in your stomach every time you talked. Because you never knew which version of Ellie you were getting.

“It’s not… a problem,” you said slowly, “It just makes me wonder if you’re actually into me, or if this is just something for you to do when you’re bored.”

Ellie’s voice softened, an apologetic edge creeping into it. “No, it’s not like that. I…” She trailed off, but you could hear the way she was shifting around, maybe realizing she was digging herself into a hole. “I don’t know, alright? I just… don’t know how to be serious when I’m sober.”

You could feel your heart sink. There it was. It wasn’t you. It was her.

“Well, I guess I can’t be the one to fix that, huh?” you said, your voice tight. You felt the urge to hang up right then and there.

“Hey, wait,” Ellie said quickly, and you could hear her scrambling for something to say. “I’m just saying, I don’t know how to talk about this stuff. It’s easier when I’m… you know, not thinking too hard about it.”

“Yeah, I know,” you replied bitterly, “You’re high, and I’m just a phone call away.”

“Stop making it sound like that,” Ellie shot back, clearly defensive. “I don’t only call you when I’m high, okay? I—”

“Then why don’t you call me when you’re sober?” You interrupted, voice sharp. “Why does it always feel like I’m second best to whatever you’re doing when you’re not trying to flirt with me?”

You let out a long breath, trying to hold back the frustration that threatened to spill over. You didn’t want to get caught in this endless cycle of uncertainty, of playing these back-and-forth games that you were convinced Ellie didn’t even realize she was playing.

There was another long pause on the line. Ellie’s voice, when it came, was quieter.

“I’m sorry, okay?” she said, voice small, almost hesitant. “I just… don’t want to mess things up. I’m not used to being… I don’t know… serious with anyone.”

“Ellie,” you sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose, “It’s not about being serious. It’s about not only talking to me when you’re high. It’s like you can’t face me unless you’ve had something to drink or smoke.”

“I know,” Ellie said softly. “I know I’ve fucked up. But… I do like you. A lot. More than I know how to say.”

You were silent for a moment, your mind whirling with everything she’d just said.

“But why does it take you getting high to say it?” you asked, your voice quieter now, less angry but more uncertain. “Why do I always feel like I’m just a joke to you?”

“I’m not trying to make you feel like that,” Ellie said, her tone much more serious than you were used to. “It’s just hard for me, alright? I… I don’t know how to do this without pushing you away.”

You felt your heart twist at her words. You wanted to be mad, wanted to tell her to stop making excuses. But hearing her say all of that, hearing her admit the things she wasn’t ready to admit while sober—it hit different.

“You don’t have to push me away,” you said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Ellie sighed, a tired chuckle escaping her lips. “God, I’m a mess, huh?”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile that she couldn’t see, “But you’re my mess.”

You could hear Ellie smile on the other end, and for the first time in what felt like forever, everything seemed to settle between you two. You weren’t quite sure what the future held, but for the first time in a long time, Ellie wasn’t hiding behind her insecurities. And maybe that was enough for now.

“Thanks for putting up with me,” she said quietly, a little embarrassed.

“Yeah, yeah,” you teased, “But don’t get used to it. You’ve got a lot of work to do, Williams.”

And Ellie, without missing a beat, replied, “I’ll work on it. But no promises, alright?”

“Fine,” you said, finally letting out a soft laugh, “But if you ever call me again while you’re high, I swear to god—”

“Yeah, yeah,” she interrupted with a playful laugh, “I get it. No more ‘high-phone-flirting.’”

You both laughed, and for the first time in a while, it felt like things might actually work between you two. Even if it was still a little uncertain, it was real.

And that, you thought, was all you needed.

[sparklystarrrr]

No Chance, No Way!!

Synopsis: In which (Y/n) falls in love with none other than Idia Shroud, but is scared to fall in love because of her freshly broken heart.

Contains: Megara themed reader, set in a garden in the Island of Woe, Idia & reader are hopelessly in love, Ortho our fav wingman who's sick of the two being hopelessly in love, Idia in Hades' toga and Reader in Megara's dress... I need that (I'm Greek, I want the rep), told from the reader's perspective, YES THIS IS BASED ON THE ACC SCENE WHERE MEG SINGS I WON'T SAY I'M IN LOVE it's gonna be so cliche and cheesy but WHATEVER

⊰᯽⊱┈─❊✙❊─┈⊰᯽⊱

It was a rather warm summer night, the moon was shining and all seemed peaceful. That was until I got lost in my thoughts, walking and picking a delicate blue flower and landing myself on a bench in the garden of the Island of Woe. This was the perfect night to get lost in my thoughts. The only thing accompanying me was the cool breeze and the ruffle of leaves. I twirled the fragile flower around between my fingers, noticing how the flower's petals faded from a dark blue out to a light yet bright blue and all I could think about was him. A small grin formed on my face.

Oh, him... It felt so fleeting to feel this way, as if I was jumping on clouds with the wind in my hair... That was when I felt that feeling I was all too familiar with. I was in love... Ugh no.. I am not in love! I learned my lesson from the first guy this cannot be happening! I crossed my arms over my legs, propping my head up on my hand, I grumbled to myself "What's the matter with me... You'd think a girl would learn..."

I got myself up and walked around the garden. It seemed to be decorated with little cupids and statues of lovers, this was certainly an icky feeling... I sighed hopelessly while turning the little cupid from pointing its arrow at me to the other direction"If there's a prize for rotten judgment, I guess I've already won that..." I sauntered around aimlessly, passing a hedge of bushes"No man is worth the aggravation, that's ancient history... Been there, done that!" I flung the blue flower behind me in frustration.

As if on queue, a pair of big bright yellow eyes poked out from inside the bush. Suddenly, a determined Ortho popped out and caught the flower I tossed. He seemed to be giggling to himself, "Who do you think you're kidding! After doing a few scans on you, my databases tell me that big brother's the "Earth and Heaven" to you!" My cheeks flushed at his sudden interjection. I grunted as I plopped down onto a bench, holding my head in my hand's as I pouted... I can't really be feeling like this after just getting broken up with a few months ago, could I? "Don't try to keep it hidden (Y/n)! My scans can see right through you!" Ortho's child-like robot voice broke me out of my thoughts. "Oh no..." I moaned out while covering my face with my hands.

"You can't conceal it forever (Y/n), I know exactly how you're feeling and who you're thinking of!" He floated above me and dangled the flower beside my face in hopes I would catch it and just confess to these heavy feelings. I ignored the flower tickling my cheek and brushed it off of me. Ortho made a "hmph!" sound like he was determined to get me to say it. I stood up, feeling slightly ashamed for these not so new feelings,"No chance, no way! I won't say it, nope!" My frustration easily got to me. Why can't these feelings just pass!

Once again, Ortho kept pushing, "You're swooning, sighing, and your dopamine levels skyrocket when you're around Idia, all signs of being in love! Why deny it?" He had a point... but I won't say it!,"It's so cliche, Ortho! I just can't say i'm in love!" I walked away holding my arms close to my body. These feelings were so warm yet so uncertain... Ortho sighed and followed me to the path full of statues of lovers "I thought my heart had learned its lesson... It always feels this good when it starts out." I grumbled and looked up at all the statues while feeling a pang of loneliness I didn't know I felt until now.

My head was practically screaming 'Get a grip, girl! Unless you're dying to cry your heart out!' at me! I then felt Ortho's mechanical hand pat my shoulder and he looked up at me with those adorable big yellow eyes of his"You keep denying who you are and how you're feeling, but I'm not buying it! You practically hit the ceiling whenever the two of you talk!" I turned away from him and pouted, was it really that easy to see my feelings towards Idia..? "Facing it and owning up to these emotions will release a weight off your shoulders. And my databases are 101% sure you won't get rejected!" That comment made me feel... hope? Why was I feeling hopeful about this?! I can't believe myself!

"No chance! I won't ever say it!" I say stubbornly as I hop across pedestals that stuck out in the clear blue water of a pool. On the last pedestal I trip and nearly fall into the cold water! That's when a male's hand reaches out to me. I grab on and he pulls me onto the ground before I could fall. I looked at the hand. It was pale, bony and was larger than my own. I looked up at the man who owned this warm hand and it was none other than Idia.

"..Hey... Y-you good?" His awkward sharp toothy grin was really cute and I couldn't help but smile when I saw the pink tips of his blue hair going wild and crazy. 'Wow.. he looks really good in this outfit he was wearing though, I see his biceps and everything...I knew he had a sleeper build...' Shut up mind! I can't think like this... I smiled gently up at him and muttered a small, "I'm fine..!" I said as we both giggled awkwardly. I turned away, trying to hide my blush and he did the same. My hands brushed through my long (h/c) locks and I saw Ortho who seemed to be ushering me to confess because the Seven know Idia won't. He created a small hologram that had the words "Give in!!" "I can see that smile from here, (Y/n)!" He shouted at me. He put up a thumbs up for me to confess.

I covered my ears and shut my eyes as if I was trying to shut the whole world out. "This scene won't play Ortho! I just won't say it, get off my case!" I yelled back to him as I ran off to the fountain to sit and be irritated. I plopped down with a scowl and put my hand down on the cement to lean myself on my arm. The feeling of a stem was under my palm and I suddenly knew exactly what it was... the blue flower. I picked it up, smiling to myself in content as I put it up to my nose and smelled the fragrance. It smelled almost sweet, but perfect.

I touched the petals delicately with my free hand "Well, at least out loud I won't say I'm in love..." I held the flower to my chest and sighed, my body going to lay down on the edge of the fountain when suddenly I felt someone beside me. I heard a small "Eep!" from the person my head had bumped into and I turned around in surprise. "I-Idia?" We felt close.. too close for us to just be friends. "Uh.. Ortho sent me here.... Sorry... I-i can go if you need me too." And with that he started getting up, his hair going a bit more crazy than usual with the pink tint still there, even his ears were a light pink, his cheeks too.

I opened my mouth but nothing came out. All I did was suddenly grab onto his arm. I'm so gonna be embarrassed for this later... "Sorry... but don't go. Sit with me, Idia..." I felt my face heating up a bit, him clearly turning pinker as seconds passed. I pulled him to sit down next to me. "So... clearly Ortho wanted the both of us to be here." I mumbled. "Yeah..." He said while nervously playing with his hair that was glowing a brighter pink. There was an awkward silence for a moment. We didn't really have anything to talk about in this situation. I sighed. "I'm sorry for... being in love with you, I guess." My hand wrapped around his hands which were still busy fiddling with his flaming locks. My other hand sat in my lap, twirling the blue flower.

He choked on air for a moment at my sudden confession. Obviously he wasn't expecting it. "N-no! It-it's fine it's just... Idk.. I'm not used to this stuff..." At this point all his hair had been colored a bright fuchsia. "Well I am you could say... I'm just scared of being in love." He looked at me, then away from me, at my flower, then back at me. "... Why? You seem like that girl everyone wants... like some normie... couldn't ever be seen with me..." He muttered the last part under his breath.

I scoffed at myself," If you really want to know, I got my heart played with." I looked away as my shoulders slumped and I looked down at my hands. His silence made it awkward but I knew he didn't really know how to respond. "That's stupid of him...." I heard him quietly whisper to himself. I looked at him with a smirk, "Yeah, really was stupid of him. Glad you think the same, Shroud..." He squeaked and his face turned almost as pink as his hair.

"But you know, I'm past him." He looked at me with his bright yellow eyes that I adored so much. "I don't think I could be scared of love when I'm with you..." I said while smiling up at him. His deep blue lips parted as I got closer to him, our hands still touching as they went down together and leaned on the stone fountain. He picked up the flower laying in my other hand, and feeling bold, he tucked it behind my ear."...You know... (h/c) looks mega cool with blue..." I smiled at his words.

Without a second thought, my now empty hand went up to his jaw and I dragged him down to get closer with me. I crashed my rosy lips against his icy blue ones. Suddenly the whole world seemed to disappear. His hands froze in their spot but as the kiss deepened, his hands went to my waist, his thumbs rubbing against my sides while he pulled me closer.

We pulled away to catch our breath. I smirked at his now bright red face. "I love you, Shroud. Don't break my heart.." I said in a breathy tone. I already knew he wouldn't, I trust him with my life. "I wouldn't dare, πριγκίπισσα." We crashed our lips together once more, grabbing onto each other like our lives depended on it. And the rest was history~

(queue lil Ortho celebrating in a bush and watching them, then covering his eyes when the two start getting a little steamy)

⊰᯽⊱┈─❊✙❊─┈⊰᯽⊱

I've had an Idia hyper fixation for the past 2 days, I NEEDED THIS

Edit: πριγκίπισσα is princess in Greek<333

[hoonquette]

standing still, sunghoon loves you and you love his attention.

PARK SUNGHOON × toxic ! fem ! r 𓈒 ㅤㅤ angst (kind of) situationship 【 842 】 ㅤ ── ㅤ incl. lwk lovebombing from reader unproofread writing.

AMOR.ㅤ love toxic enha but what about toxic reader !! lwk based off of jenny by the click five

you shuffle across your wooden floor, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. you debate for the third time on whether or not you should open the door, before ultimately deciding to pull it open. you almost shut it immediately, a frown forming on your face.

because standing at your door, staring at you with the saddest eyes you've ever seen, is park sunghoon.

for what is probably the fifth time this week. why were you expecting anything different? no sane person would show up to your apartment this early in the day.

sighing, you rub your temple. "sunghoon, it's not even eight yet."

"sorry, i know. um—" he clears his throat, "can we talk?"

"about what?"

you know exactly what he wants to talk about. it's the same thing he's been wanting to talk about for the last two weeks, the same thing you've been avoiding. you mentally prepare yourself for what you know is coming and the argument that's no doubt going to follow.

"i— come on, you know what." he says your name softly, to which you raise an eyebrow and he relents. "i wanna talk about us."

"there's no us, sunghoon."

"you act like there is before you ghost me."

you wince, looking away from him. "i treat you normally, not like my boyfriend."

a total lie because you do act like sunghoon is your boyfriend, who wouldn't? he likes you and treats you well enough. you just aren't ready for another relationship—at least, not the committed one that he wants. maybe in another universe you found him first, and maybe you're in a happy relationship, but that's not what happened in this one.

"because getting pissed at me when a girl asks for my number is normal, right? are making out and sleeping in the same bed normal too now?"

"oh my god, can you let that go? i told you why i got mad." you step outside, shutting the door to your apartment. maybe having this conversation in the very public hallway isn't a good idea, but you'll be damned if you let him inside.

you don't bother refuting his other points because you know he's right, and there's no way you can spin it to fit the just friends narrative you have going on for you.

sunghoon scoffs and runs a hand through his hair, like he wasn't the one who started everything. if he didn't want to get annoyed then he should've stayed home, you think to yourself.

his voice is rough when he speaks, "you make no sense at all. can you just be straight up with me? quit stringing me along."

"you're the one who has all kinds of hope for whatever," you gesture between the two of your bodies, "this is. i never said we were going to date."

"but you did say you loved me."

"i— sunghoon, seriously, of course i love you. we've been friends for, like, ever."

the look he gives you almost makes you want to laugh. not out of amusement, but out of shock. he's never looked at you with that much distaste and hurt in his life, not even after he found out you got back with your ex last year.

"you know that's not how you meant it and i know that for a fact."

you didn't say it platonically, but you also didn't say it romantically. in all honesty, you only said it to make him stay with you.

"what do you want me to say?"

"just let me move on if you really don't love me, okay? i can't keep doing this situationship shit with you."

you hate to hurt him, that you keep pulling him along on a ride that you don't even know is going anywhere meaningful, and a small part of you wants him to move on. however, a twisted and much larger part of you doesn't want him to. you don't want him to find somebody else—the thought of that makes you sick—and you definitely don't want to lose what you have with him, even if he doesn't like it.

stepping forward, you grab his hand, bring in up to cup your cheek and he lets you. you can see his features soften when you place a gentle kiss against the palm of his hand. "look, okay—i'm sorry, hoon. i don't know, i'm not ready for a relationship right now. i'm too busy, you know?"

you're not that busy.

he nods, "yeah, i get it. fuck, it just sucks to be in this situation. i really like you."

you know he does, and it sucks that he chose you as his person, but what can you do about it?

you can tell he's calmed down, that he's over his bad mood by how his shoulders relax and how he smiles at you. it's a smile that's only reserved for you and you take pride in that fact.

"i really like you too." you smile at him, another lie you're using to keep him. "give me some time, okay?"

[fibernati]

The crochet hook case is finally here!!!

This is my very first crochet project. I made it using two different yarns: Barroco nº 4 (the grey one) and Duna (the green one), both by a Brazilian brand called Círculo. Using the 3.0mm hook. And, it took me about 3~4 days to finish. [you can find the project diary here and here]

At the end of the project, I gave up on making two more pockets and made just one. The one without a closure. The fourth one was supposed to go above the bigger pocket, but I thought it wasn't necessary because I don't have that many things to store.

I sewed the hook holder based on the size of my hooks, but they hadn't arrived yet when I crocheted this part, so I ended up following the original measurement and then I regretted it, because as you can see below, there's a piece left over that's no use, it's simply a raised flap. Besides, if you look at the photo above, you'll see that I sewed it on crooked. Everything here is crooked, that okay.

I also gave up on making a pendant for the drawstring because I wanted a flower and I couldn't make one. I asked my mom, and she couldn't make the flower either, so in the end I said let it go, let's keep it simple and it's useful, it achieves the purpose to close the case so I'm fine with that.

Here you can see the things I wish I had done differently. The leftover tab, and the buttons.

These buttons were made from improvisation, because I still don't understand the concept of the magic circle, and they turned out okay, but I sewed them on in a way that, after a few days of closing and opening, made me realize that at some point they will fall off.

So, I'm going to need new bottons and honestly, I can just buy them?? I wish I had thought about it before.

Basically, this is my first project and I hope to use this case for a long time. Now, let's talk about the feelings about make it, the expectations, the frustations and also the tips and cumpliments!!!

Just showing you what I'm storing in each pocket. That one without closure it's empty for now.

As I said before, I started out thinking I was going to follow a tutorial, but I let the project take me and did what I thought would be best for my personal use and to match my personality.

It was a fun project to do, but I'm also very aware of what I would have liked to have done and what I actually did. Not that they are VERY far apart, but learning to crochet for just one week (two now!), I did the best I could with what I had and it's better than not having made anything at all.

During the whole process, the thing that bothered me most was that it turned out crooked. Everything was simply crooked and I didn't know how to fix it, I redid it and it was still crooked, so I gave up and left it crooked.

One tip I was given was to use stitch markers at the beginning and/or end of each row, because that would help me get everything straight. And I'm definitely going to use that for my next project. They also gave me color suggestions and a tutorial on how to make an easy flower. I'm going to try again, but I need to buy the suggested colors before I do that!!!

My friends encouraged me a lot while I was doing it, and every time I said it was crooked, they lied to me. Which was really nice of them, because I have ADHD and I don't know how to deal with frustration, so there were times when I wanted to give up because it didn't look the way it should be in my head.

The people who know how to crochet and have seen this case, both here on Tumblr or in real life, have been lovely to me. They know it has flaws and I know they know it has flaws, but the messages were all saying that yes, it's a bit wonky, but that with practice, I'll be able to make better things and even if it's not perfect now, I've done a good job and shouldn't be hard on myself!

It's cute, it's useful, it's my favorite colors and they match with me, so, yes I'm very proud of my crooked hook case. 10/10 🎉✨

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hi! I adore your writing! Could you please write some fluff? Where either the hero or the villain has nightmares and the other takes care of them. But the one that takes care of them is actually breaking into their base to get information. And the one with the nightmares is usually super happy and doesn’t like to show their pain. I hope all of that makes sense lol! Thanks no pressure if you can’t do it or you’re busy!

The villain couldn't think of any words. Not really.

All they could do was stand there, glued to the ground. Breaking into the hero's room had been quite tricky. After all, this building was packed with security.

But now that they were here, they couldn't believe their eyes.

It was messy. Very messy. Some furniture was simply destroyed - a table was split into two, as if the hero had punched through it. The shards of a vase were discarded on the ground and above all that: paper. A lot of paper.

The villain suspected the hero had thrown several files to the ground and the many pages had simply spread through the whole room.

They dared to look at the hero. The very same hero that turned away and clenched their fists.

"How did you...?" the hero began. Their voice was anything but stable, anything but usually cheery. "...ah, nevermind."

"I disabled the security system for a while," the villain said. Their voice was quiet and they were debating if they should throw themselves out of a window. The discomfort of the entire situation was crushing them. They shouldn't have been here.

They took in a deep breath and took another look at the hero.

Whatever had happened, the hero seemed to be another person entirely. They were distant, so very distant.

It wasn't like their relationship had the deepest connection. The villain was more of an inconvenience to the hero, they supposed. A fun obstacle they liked to taunt. But still...the villain had never thought the hero to be capable of destroying their room like this.

Maybe it hadn't been the hero after all. Maybe another hero?

The villain's eyes narrowed.

"You're bleeding," they said. The hero didn't turn around, but they did look at their knuckles. They let their arm drop as if it was nothing.

"I don't have any valuables here, so if you want to steal something, you should..."

"What is going on?"

The hero was rational, even though they were coming across as playful most of the time. The hero was smart, they were in control of their emotions.

But this?

The hero squeezed their eyes shut and leaned against the wall.

"I'm not sure you're the right person to talk to."

"Oh."

Technically, the hero was right. It still stung a little, though.

They exchanged looks.

"But...do you know that feeling of healing horridly?" They looked at the ground and the villain wasn't quite sure if the moonlight illuminated their nemesis or an angel. What a horrible feeling. What a horrible pain in their chest.

Was it normal to feel this distraught? At the sight of someone they were supposed to loathe being this hurt?

"Do you mean not getting over something?"

"...not exactly. I..." They let their lashes flutter and the villain feared they were seeing tears in their eyes. "I've been working through some stuff. Things from my childhood, past relationships, my work...you know, stuff like that. And I'm trying really hard to heal. And not to turn bitter. I'm trying not to let it hurt so much. But...I think I can't. I feel like, even if my wounds do heal, the scars will spoil me forever."

The villain didn't know what the hero was talking about. Hell, they couldn't even relate to it. They had never given themselves enough time to think about healing. Most of the time, they pushed everything away that hurt and moved on.

"I feel like it stains, it's like blood that I can't wash off my hands. And it makes me so incredibly ugly, it makes me so sick. I have nightmares and I...I..." And there it was. A simple sob the hero didn't manage to swallow. They covered their mouth with their hand, turned away.

And for some reason, for some strange reason, the villain walked over to them, pulling them close. They hugged the hero, embraced them as if they were the only two people in the world and let the hero sob, soaking the villain's uniform in tears.

"I understand," the villain whispered. They tried to sound as soft as possible. This wasn't exactly their field of expertise, not by a long shot, but they knew what it was like to pretend. To doubt. To fail. "It won't be like this forever, I promise. It will fade."

"It won't go away, though, it will always be there. It will always-"

"It will fade," the villain repeated. They brushed some tears out of the hero's sight. "And one day, you won't notice it anymore. You won't think about it."

They took the hero's hand.

"I don't know what you are going through right now, but I know that you are strong and capable. You can beat this."

Suddenly, the hero pulled them closer again, pressed their face against the villain's shoulder. They didn't say anything and the villain thought they themselves couldn't come up with anything better. So, they just held onto the hero and waited until their nemesis calmed down.

Eventually, the hero leaned against them. Their voice was quiet.

"...I know I have no right to ask this and you can decline, of course. But could you stay a few hours?"

The villain felt their cheeks burn.

"Yes. I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone right now anyway." They pulled the hero a bit closer again. "But I am going to take care of your knuckles first."

In the end, the villain fell asleep next to the hero, despite their best efforts to stay awake.

[exormilion]

special find

abby anderson/reader

word count: 3,529

summary: abby found an interesting little thing while in patrol and she is hoping to use it on you. strap-on, explicit lesbian sex.

note: i fucking LOVE abby and i need to write more about her. really. expect a part two from this, i so plan to do it and as soon as possible <3 hope you like it :D

link to ao3

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You and Abby were dating for a few months now, the room she previously shared with Manny now had your stuff scattered around comfortably, matching and mixing with Abby just like in every other sense, like it always meant to be there.

(Poor Manny didn't even have a choice. He walked on you both so many times and you were there so often that he himself decided to take the decision. Moved in with one of his many girls and took all his things with him. You apologized profusely for giving him all that work just because you couldn't keep it in your pants and he simply answered with a: "No te preocupes, chica. You are both in love and i'm happy for Abby really, so just enjoy, but maybe start locking the door, huh?")

Walking over to her with a curious expression, you sat in bed, tilting your head as she threw her backpack by your feet and mover to kick her outside clothes off until she was only in her discolored beige panties and the gray tank top. Your body was only dressed in one of her shirts and panties as well.

She sat close to you, pulling your body onto her lap as if it weighed nothing. A yelp leaves your mouth but you were used being manhandled by her, melting against her warm body, sweaty from the patrol and humidity outside. You could smell gunpowder, sweat and pine, it was all very Abby.

"What did you find?", you lean down to take the backpack. It was pretty heavy, but that wasn't out of the ordinary, so you were curious.

"Hmmm, this thing...", she says mysteriously, her raspy voice by your ear as she takes the backpack from your hands and unzips it, holding it closed with her thick, big hand and looking into your eyes with mirth, "Thought of you the moment i saw it."

Your mouth opens into a perfect 'o' when she takes a pink cock from her backpack, her thick fingers closing perfectly around it. It was around seven inches, not too thick and not too big, with a flat base and a thick, realistic mushroony head. Bringing your index finger, you pull on the head, watching the pink dildo bob in Abby's hand. You both let out a little laugh at the sigh, but still a bit breathless.

"Oh. That's...", biting your lower lip, you look back at her face, "Where did you find this?"

"There was a hidden store on the lower floors of a library, had a few of these things... place was clear so i managed to rummage around and found a few things during patrol", she puts the dildo in your hands, taking another thing out of the backpack. You look curiously, hand squeezing around the soft silicone experimentally. One of your eyebrows lift as she takes a mass off leather strips, like weird belts with a thicker triangle and a silver ring.

"What's this?", watching as she untangled the strips, you feel your lower belly warm. Whatever Abby was planning was making you curious and tingly.

"I didn't know as well", she laughed, and as everything was untangled she took the cock from your hand and pushed it through the silver ring, pushing on it to make sure it was firm. On its own the leather thing didn't make much sense, but with the dildo firm and standing proud against the ring and the strips free, you somehow started to understand the thing. Your cheeks burned up, and you squirmed. "There were a lot of pictures on the walls... and a few books. This thing is called a strap-on", Abby's cheeks were slightly red as well, but she had a silly smile on her face, "It's supposed to be worn like some sort belt, and, well, i think you alredy got how it works"

Yes, you did. You gulp, looking down at the strap and dildo she held, thumb caressing the pink head delicately, almost scared.

"You wanna use it on me?", voice soft and trembling, you chewed on your lower lip.

"It's okay if you don't want to, baby", her voice was soft and she gave your nape a kiss, nuzzling her nose on your hair, "We don't have to do anything today. Nor tomorrow, after that or ever."

You can't contain a soft smile, every tension in your body immediately melting. You awkwardly turn on her lap, sitting face to face now to peck her plump lips softly.

"I want to, Abs", sighing and closing your eyes, you lean your forehead onto hers, sharing breaths, "It's just that... I never took anything like that?...", you glance briefly at the cock, nervous.

She glances at it as well and puts it on the bed, both her hands now coming to hold your hips under the shirt, calloused thumbs circling the skin softly.

"Yeah, i know that, baby. It looks more intimidating than it feels, i promise", her lips find your jaw, nibbling softly and wetly on the skin. You tilt your head on the opposite direction to give her more space. "You take most of my fingers like a champ, i think it'd slide in pretty smoothly after i stretch you up and make you all wet... but then again, only if you want to", she pulls back to look into your eyes, sincere, "and even so, we can stop anytime. If it's uncomfortable, if it hurts, it you simply don't like it... Wanna make you feel good, that's all".

You wanted to cry.

Abby was always gentle with you - of course, sometimes you both fell into a more rough dynamic, but she was always mindful about how you were feeling and if your expression and demeanor changed a little too much to the other side. Always asking how you felt before going harder, if you wanted to try things again, if you wanted to stop.

For someone so big and strong, she was still the gentlest being you've ever met.

"Abby", you hitch, wraping your arms around her strong torso and hiding your face on her still a bit sweaty neck, "Okay. I trust you'll make me feel good, let's try it"

Abby gave you that sweet little smile of hers that made you melt, a small ray of sunshine you could call yours.

The first step was cleaning the dildo, and Abby took her sweet time doing that. Washed it, took some boiling water from the kitchen to disinfect (which led to people asking why she needed boiling water and Abby simply saying "Tea", but she didn't even like tea) and washing it again. By the time she was sure about it being clean and safe to use you both were impatient and needy, trying your best to keep your hands to yourselves. It was different, new, and she wanted to take it slow and do it right.

She put the clean stuff onto the bed, sighing nervously to herself. You both took a shower together and were now clean and fresh and with the lingering smell of soap, naked and flushed.

Walking closer, you turned her around with your hands on her sides, humming as you pecked her face and felt her hard, defined belly, trying to ease the nervousness that filled your bodies.

Pulling back to look at her, you let out a dreamy sigh; she was a little piece of heaven and you couldn't believe how lucky you were.

Her muscles were simply amazing, the strong neck followed by the thick trapezium, turning into her big, beefy arms that made you bite your lips to contain the need to bury your teeth there, same for her forearm. Her chest muscles were so well worked that in divided on her sternum, two pillows of pecs holding her small, perfect and perky tits and peachy nipples, begging for your hands to hold them. The abs you loved to grind on, the texture hard enough to make you cum and cream all over her skin. The happy trail... You squeeze your thighs together, whining softly, hands squeezing her hips. Her dark blonde curls slowly turning into a bush, still a bit dump from the shower and framed by her enormous thighs, her tense legs making her quadriceps jump tall, deliciously.

"Oh, Abs", you lean to take her lips roughly, moaning against her and pressing your tits together. Melting, you could alredy feel your pussy warm and getting wet, her bush against your skin almost making you combust on the spot. Her roughened hand found the small of your back, pulling you closer, the free one cupping your cheek.

You feared you would pass out one of these days with the amount of force your heart raced on your chest, making your head dizzy and foggy and your breath come out in curt huffs. She'd be the death of you.

"Can i eat you out?", she whispered against your mouth, slowly pushing you gently onto the bed and sitting between your legs while massaging your tongue with hers, "Let me get you ready, baby..."

No verbal answer was given, only your legs opening wider for her, your pussy twitching as the air made contact with the wetness. It was embarrassing how fast Abby makes you wet, how fast she can make you cum, how fast you had just turned into mush as she wrapped her perfect plump lips around your swollen, angry clit, suckled it into her mouth and-

"F-fuck-", your back arches by its own, your cunt trying to shove itself against her face. She didn't warm up nor start slow, she simply dugged in, sucking the clit against the flat of her tongue until it twitched in delicious agony, making your thigh tremble. She pulled with a wet, loud pop, licking her lips hungrily with her eyes glued to your pussy like a starved woman.

"Taste so fucking good", she spreads your labia with her thumbs, hissing as your clit pulled shyly and your drooling hole clenched, begging to be filled. Her right hand slipped lower, index now massaging your wet little hole carefully, rubbing against the wetness before slipping it in. It went all the way inside without any trouble, and she massaged your gripping walls with care before her middle finger follow inside.

In truth, you weren't a virgin. You loved being stretched, your pussy could take a lot - you've taken four of Abby's fingers and a bit of her palm before, grinding against her thumb and she fucked you, cumming so hard your vision went black for a few seconds. You loved it.

You've never taken a cock though, so you were a bit intimidated by the vision of the pink dildo forgotten by the end of the bed, but it was Abby's cock and that was enough comfort for you.

She curled her fingers up just right, rubbing that sensitive little spot inside your pussy that just made you tense, close to your bladder. You bring your hand to her head, tangling your fingers on her slightly damp hair on it's usual braid, her eyes leaving your cunt with the contact and finding yours, pupils blown and filled with love and want.

"Baby-", whining, you tried fucking yourself a bit deeper on her fingers, alredy starting to sweat. You pulled on her head softly, just hinting, spreading your shaky legs a bit more, "please"

She kissed one of your trembling thighs before sucking on your clit again. She was a messy, loud eater, the clicking of her tongue and the popping of her spit on skin while the suckled was almost too much by itself, enough to make you squirm.

By the time she had three thick fingers deep inside you your legs were almost cramping her legs and asphyxiation her against your cunt. She new where to thrust and how hard you liked it, hitting the limit of her hand against you every time, almost making you bounce.

"'M gonna put it on now, okay?", she sat up with a kiss to your clit, her fingers leaving your pussy empty and gaping before squeezing, your body all shaken up. Abby wasn't very different - her face was wet with sweat and your wetness, a flush going from the tip of her ears down to her chest, hiding her beautiful freckles under the redness. You watched as she got up and standed next to the bed, taking the strap and fiddled with the strips, confused. Laughing, you sit up, moving to stay in front of her and taking it from her hands to take a look.

"Here, let me see if i get it"

It took some time to get it right. It wasnt clipped at first so the whole process of Abby holding the crotch leather piece with her back turned to you while you adjusted the strips by her strong ass was a little confusing, but you both managed to. It sat firmly but comfortably, digging beautifully against her skin and you couldn't contain your hand coming down to slap and squeeze that delicious, jiggly meat.

"Ah!", she jumped, turning around to glare at you but it quickly melted into a smile. Cupping your face with her meaty hands, she pecked your lips, your taste and smell still lingering.

When you both parted, you stretched your arm to take the dildo from the end of the bed, cleaning your throat as you pulled the silver ring and pushed the cock through it, holding your breath with the image.

The pink cock was standing thick and proud, the pink was a beautiful contrast against her pale skin and the black strap. You close your fist around the head, giving an experimental stroke.

"That's actually so fucking hot", with Abby standing in front of you while you sat in bed, the dildo was close to your face. You looked at it and then up at Abby, her blown pupils hinting at the same thought even when she stayed silent - she didn't want you to do anything just because she asked you to, she wanted you to want it as well.

So when you gathered saliva in your mouth and gave the cock a drooling lick, your ears were rewarded with Abby's small grunt, her hand pushing your hair back gently to look at your face. It didn't taste like anything, but you couldn't hold the urge to chew lightly on the silicone head, playfully, the texture almost making you laugh.

You did your best even if you didn't exactly know what you were supposed to do. Opened your mouth as much as you could, rubbed your tongue everywhere it reached and bobbed gently, just a little, taking half the length and pulling back to spread your drool until every inch was shining and covered in spit.

Abby looked down at you in awe, breath curt, entranced. Her chest jumped when you leaned back on the bed and opened your legs, plopping your feet on the corner of the bed, your pussy as exposed as it could now and as reddened and wet as ever, visibly pulsing and clenching. Your gorgeous curls were also wet, sticky with your need, Abby's fingers pulling gently on it and resting her palm on your mound, sighing as she stepped foward and took a long look at your laying form.

She took the cock in hand and rubbed the tip over your pussy, gently against your clit and spreading wetness. When the head found your tight cunt and she forced a bit if the murshoony head in, she looked up to your face in question, your answer being a positive nod and your knees falling even more opened.

The thick head going in was the hardest part. It stinged, the hard silicone strange, but you managed to take it without trouble. Your natural resistance left at least two fingers of the cock out and your head fell back, eyes closing as you took the feeling.

It was deep, deeper than anything you've ever felt and very strange. It felt good - a good preassure, a different massage, but not quite it and Abby knew that just by your response. She was attentive to your face as she pulled back until the tip was the only thing inside and slowly pushed it in again, hand caressing the back of your thigh.

"Wait, let me just-", she reached to both of your pillows, trying her best to not move the cock inside you too much yet, "Let me put these under your butt, baby. The angle will feel better for you."

And fuck, it did. The simple act of her lifting you with one hand on your lower back as if you weighed nothing and shoving the pillows under you was enough to make you squirm, the head of the dildo massaging your insides the whole time, but the angle change was actually insane. Both of you knew your spot and how to find it, but the dildo found it so deeply and so much more intense that the first slow thrust on the new position made you actually let out a throaty groan, hand coming to your mouth.

"Oh, fuck", looking down at where you both met, you couldn't believe that much was inside of you.

"Good?", her eyes were glued to your pussy, obsessed with the way your lips sucked the cock inside, the length disappearing so easily like it was meant to fit there.

You only nod, one of your feet leaving the bed to lift it closer to your chest, opening more of yourself. Abby took the hint and the hand caressing the back of your thigh now pressed the back if your knee, forcing it against your chest.

Oh, God. She was going to kill you.

She started thrusting for good now, and it felt like it was pushing your breath out with each one. Never pulling all the way out, just pulling a few inches and slamming hard back inside, your hips now propped up on the pillows making the angle for the head to slot just right between the meaty bumps inside your cunt.

It would not be enough to make you cum, no, but you felt so much that your eyes watered up and made hiccups leave your throat, hand coming to grip at Abby's one holding your leg. It made your thigh and glute burn.

The increase in rhythm was making you insane. The squelching noise your pussy made while being pounded made your ears burn and the grunts Abby left out with every thrust had your cunt gripping hard on the cock. She leaned foward, her hand resting by your head now, skin to skin and burning up.

"Baby", you whine, trying to force your eyes to stay open and look at her flushed, sweaty face, "A-Abs, please, i- 's too much, please baby, make me cum-"

She didn't need for you to ask again. Her hand left your leg and squeezed itself between your bodies, the movement with being sandwiched but her fingers rubbed your full clit with little care, just needing you to feel, making you tense and claw at her beefy back.

"Cum for me, baby, milk my cock", her voice was raw, breath warm on your face and her lips found yours with an open mouthed kiss, your head somewhere else enough that you could barely kiss her back.

You wrap your legs around her as your orgasm approaches, making her thrust deep and grind inside of you instead of the open rhythm from before. Your teeth find her shoulder when, finally, your lower belly boils and it snaps hard, but you could still hear your own little moans scaping, every little muscle tense and cunt impossibly wetter with cum, clit twitching against the fingers tapping on her.

Everything went black for a second and when you found yourself again, Abby had taken her hand away from your pussy and kissed your cheeks wetly, whispering sweet nothings and praise. Your hands released their painful grip on her back, legs now falling to rest hanging from the side of the bed.

Everything cramped and tears still fell from your eyes to the bed, brain foggy. With Abby's weight crushing you and her cock resting inside you, you've never felt more well fucked and drunk on her.

Blinking the tears and fog away, you look at her face. She looked so beautiful like this, sweaty and flushed and so happy to make you feel good.

"I love you", you whispered breathlessly, cupping her face, "Fuck, it's so deep inside me, 'm so glad for this cock"

"I love you too", she laughed, sucking on your lower lip, "Maybe you can show me, next time. How good it feel."

Oh, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck.

You closed your eyes, groaning, head against the bed. You, fucking Abby? Watching her bounce on the dildo in all her buff glory, looking down at you with heavy eyes and moaning deliciously as the silicone cock disappeared inside her wet little cunt, her fat clit peaking between her curly pubes and rubbing against your belly when she bottomed out?

"Gonna cum again, i swear to god"

[tearsaura]

No need, no use // healer reader x future Eris Vanserra x reader

Part I

Based on this request. Thank you so much, I hope you like it.

warnings: angst, injuries, blood, mentions of dying.

word count: 1k

Blood. There was so much blood.

Cassian, who usually stood proudly at over 6 feet, was dragged in by his brothers and laid down onto the table, barely alive. “Did you contact Madja?” Feyre asked as she trailed in after her mate. “She is on her way” Rhys replied, taking Cassian’s shirt off. Cassian let out a painful roar, shaking the ground under us as he tried to get away from Rhysand’s hands. Mor stood behind them, sobbing, as Feyre went over next to her and circled her arms around the blonde’s shoulder, pulling her close. Amren stood by the door, her small frame shaking. Azriel looked around frantically before his eyes found me and I could not stop my heart from jumping a beat. “What are you waiting for? Come help him!” he called, his voice breaking and I slowly crossed the room to Cassian. He wavered between being conscious and being unconscious, barely breathing. The wound on his chest made me physically recoil. His bones were visible, and his blood was dripping on the ground at an uncontrollably speed. “Do something!” Az called and my hand instantly went to Cassian’s arm.

Soon enough, his pain started to slowly creep on me. Healing powers didn’t come without its side effect. Healers don’t heal. Why should the mother gift you greater powers than her own? They can only take the pain away from the hurt person and put it on themselves, which didn’t make our powers necessarily helpful, but the inner circle doesn’t seem to know this or chose to ignore the fact.  

Blades were cutting through me repeatedly and breathing became harder. Cassian woke up, his wound had closed, and I loosened the grip, but the moment I let go of his arm, he started to scream in agony. The blades stopped cutting through me, but my vision started to dark as I turned towards Azriel. “I’m sorry but that’s all I can do for now-” “Stop messing around he could die! Put your Hand back!” “Az he is in pain, but he isn’t in a critical state anymore and I can’t-” “For Fucks sake do your job and heal him! That’s what you are here for!” he roared, his shadows flaring as he grabbed my hand, forcing it back on Cassian and holding me down.

I yelped, feeling my heart breaking and shame creeping up. None of the others interfered. Rhys just stood next to Azriel, his focus on Cassian. Neither Feyre, nor Mor or Amren moved from their spots. Silent tears were running down my cheeks as I closed my eyes, sobbing quietly. Hurt due to Cassian’s pain, hurt due to the blatant disrespect that was shown towards me. The disregard. How dare he? My ears started to ring and the pit in my stomach didn’t stop growing. It was unbearable, how is Cassian still alive after all of this?

There wasn’t much time left for me, and I needed to stop and get out of here before I fell right in front of them. They didn’t deserve to see me dying and knowing how my life ended. I wanted to leave them in uncertainty and take the last bit of dignity I had left with me. To leave this court behind me. They loved to act as if they cared about everyone, but at the end of the day, they only cared about the people in their own little inner circle. Selfish people. All of them.

Thankfully, Cassian’s breath became regulated, his consciousness came back, and he was healed completely. There wasn’t even a scar left behind. As if he never was hurt. With my last bit of strength, I yanked my hand free from Azriel’s. He didn’t notice how I was trembling. I wanted to scream at him, to throw everything that might’ve hurt him at his head. He should crumble and feel the pain that I am feeling both physically and mentally.

Get out, get out, get out.

Mor’s cry of relief filled the room, and I felt myself being pushed aside as they all gathered around Cassian, leaving me behind. They were laughing and talking.

“Oh, Thank the mother!” “How are you feeling Cas?” “Let me get you some water.”

 None of them turned around when I walked out, slamming the door behind me. There was so much I wanted to say to them but there was no energy in me left to curse them all out for what they just did to me, how disgusting their behaviour was.

I wandered away from the house, knowing that it could be over any moment now. I felt the blades cutting through me repeatedly, but all I could focus on was the dull pain in my soul.

I was nothing to them. Everything I did for them was taken for granted. All the wounds I healed, all the times I went past my limits made me laugh. It’s so pathetic.

I stood beside them through their darkest times, always being the shoulder that they could lean on only for them to disregard me like that. Sure, I never told them that healing someone was the same as taking the pain away but that is no secret, more like general knowledge amongst the faes. There was no place for me in that court, in Azriel’s heart and maybe I deserve to die like this. Alone, with no one caring or even noticing that I am gone. I should’ve known better. Be better.

Soon, I reached the woods and the pain became unbearable.

They won’t even notice when I die. I let out a sob as I took what I assumed to be my last breath, pressing my hand on my ribs. The world became darker, and I started to fall.

Further and further down.

Down.

Down.

Down.

There’s a small light coming towards me.

It grows bigger and bigger.

And suddenly, I felt Hands. Soft warm hands, wrapping around my torso.

“I’ve got you, little fox.”

[craziertogether]

stancy & mileven

GOOD LORD THIS IS A LONG ONE. but i hope you guys enjoy it)

so i often think about stancy and mileven in the grand scheme of the show & fandom. if someone ships mileven it’s almost a guarantee that they will ship stancy too. i’m gonna be honest this usually tells me 1-2 major things about the person, you’re too young and have a very immature outlook on love OR you’re used to face value & toxic love/infatuation.

stancy is THE most perfect portrayal of the first “popular” / “bad boy” boyfriend a teenage girl most often gets. i say this from experience, like nancy i was a “good girl” that became infatuated with my first boyfriend, a trouble maker/womanizer but a good time. that is what stancy represents, a good time but nothing permanent or even endgame just the guy who makes her feel special. it kills me how much i relate to nancy but it also kills me more to think about how people are romanticizing stancy because of season 4. we just watched the rest of the show with our eyes closed huh? yes he was very sweet coming back to help clean up the movie theatre and IG the season 4 confession about his dreams with her were “cute”. but i’m sorry to say this like its not the most obvious thing ever but, you do NOT have to love someone because they love you. love is not enough to keep a relationship together. and unfortunate all steve has for her is that same high school idealistic view of nancy that made him fall for her. steve did not understand nancy, nor her goals her passions. that specific scene in s4 when jonathan listed off how hardworking and determined she was and how he couldn’t come between her and her goals. he showed what she REALLY needed, someone who understood her and knew that he couldn’t get in the way of that. steve and nancy are what people who don’t understand how mature relationships are. they’re not codependent (like steve + nancy). they’re not fully based around lust (like steve + nancy). they’re not based all on the goals of one person (like steve describing his insane dream of marriage and kids asap). (PS showing steve with like 10 other girls away from nancy and then bringing back his “i actually always wanted nancy all along in s4 was LAME and just a way to show the audience imo that those ships are also SUPERFICIAL AS HELL. the audience saw right through it, that nancy and jonathan were better for each other, it might’ve revived some stancy shippers to hear the “i love her still” about nancy. but guys COME ON. you’re telling me the GA somewhat saw through that fake revival of feelings but not through mileven and mike’s confession? i cannot today.) anyways i wanna say that if jancy not endgame, that’s insane first off, but second nancy can be alone and independent but to put her back with steve would be like the worst possible outcome. just like mileven.

as for mileven, it’s the same thing. as i stated before i was a mileven lover, but i was also 10/11 and i wasn’t aware that queer relationships could happen. if we take out the byler aspect of why mileven is doomed. we completely overlook the fact that they are the young version of stancy. the love at first sight lie, something that i know many girls can probably relate to, my elementary boyfriend seemed like my husband. i was conditioned to think heteronormative thoughts, that i had to absolutely marry a man and i had to be someone’s perfect wife. that’s why mileven fans think it’s the perfect outcome for mileven wedding and naming kids after the members of the group that may die. it’s not just childish but it comes from a lack of understanding complex relationships and from the conditioning of staying in a toxic relationship. mileven shows how empty and unreliable both mike and el are for each other, outside of mike being unable to say “i love you” to el, mike can’t stop idolizing her for ONE sole part of her identity (ahem steve + nancy w/ her being the good girl that’s a virgin) & el can’t stop idolizing mike for her idea of love (ahem nancy to steve when she grew up seeing her parents, thinking she can stay with him even after she felt her connection to jonathan and choosing to be with him because it was comfortable and it was easy, it’s what was expected of her by steve’s friends). both mileven and stancy represent what it means to be confined to heteronormative and social norms, they prevent you from becoming who you’re meant to be/ be with.

it’s crazy to me too because we see how many people LOVE nancy with a gun and think she literally is so badass and showed off incredible skill throughout the seasons and yet fail to see that the MAJORITY of those scenes are with jonathan?? (like will and mike they bring out the absolute best in the other). they know the other better than anyone else, even when they fight, they fight and it’s real, it’s raw. they fight through honesty and they fight because they love the other and they KNOW that they can take it. with jonathan calling out nancy in season 3, we see how he's calling her out for being immature for not being able to see that he is poor and he struggles and he needed that job, she fought with him bc it felt like he was coming from a place of ignorance and not addressing her mistreatment. they’re both incredibly honest even if it hurts the other one. versus her fight with steve, she can’t even honestly say the words “i love you”, so instead she stays silent. (HMM I WONDER WHO THAT SOUNDS LIKE…. mike queeler). but also when jancy is together they’re TOGETHER. they have heart to hearts, strong ones. they have MATCHING SCARS GUYS. even thousands of miles apart, they describe the other like the light of their life, they call out the TRAITS that make the other so wonderful (unlike steve who literally js thinks of nancy as his first love and who’s pretty). jonathon believed nancy and goes on a literal psychotic bender to find murray and get justice for barb, versus steve who remind me again, says they should try to be “normal” and party? yeah sounds a lot like another person trying to be normal. direct parallels blow me away btw, the GA has to be choosing to act blind on purpose. but yeah, let’s switch to mileven then byler. every major fight between mileven has been because mike lied or felt lied to. he felt lied to by el when she said that will was alive, he lies to her in s3 about his grandma and acts like he can’t completely understand her species (queer coding to the MAX) and in season 4 hes once again lying to her and SHE is also lying to him. dare i say, they’re not fighting with the OTHER, they’re fighting to keep their facade up.

and now let’s look at byler (my beloved)!!! 1) the first relationship established in the show is byler, like it or not, that moment of intimacy “it was a 7”, soulmate behavior. 2) complete and TOTAL trust from both of them. it’s interesting that will only tries to tell two people in the show that hes still alive. joyce his MOTHER, and MIKE with his walkie talkie. not jonathan who has a radio system? not dustin? not lucas? not hopper? the police? no. he chooses his mom and mike, interesting. 3) he hides his struggles from his friends and his family, everyone treats him like hes weak like hes different but not mike? why not mike? i mean he spends the most time with mike and yet, you’re telling me mike never once maybe slipped over his words and said something insensitive, no instead he “makes him feel better for being different”. 4) now onto the actual fights, bc this is really long. when will and mike fight, it’s raw and real, it hurts the audience to see will hurting because he’s been through so much trauma, and yet, mike hurts him anyways, but will CANNOT stay away. one moment i think we forget to mention is in s2, when mike gets angry about max, mike takes a jab at will. “did you agree to this?” “you should’ve told ME first.” will literally looks SO defeated & hurt. why mike? why does will need to tell you? you’re the leader? you own will? no. it’s bc will wasn’t honest to him, will didn’t come to mike about a big decision. also yeah a little gay bc why are you mad about a girl. but okay. and the season 3, yes the rain fight is back. i won’t dissect it any more but i will say, mike’s cruelness towards will was so unwarranted. but will’s willingness to say what no one else was willing to was yet another example of how deep their relationship is. calling mike out for being a shit friend, that’s will being what mike asked of him (season 2 halloween & honesty), and yet mike’s become too afraid of revealing his own feelings, but he’s still somewhat honest to will. he’s projecting his feelings to will, he’s TELLING ON HIMSELF here. and yes we know he regrets it runs back. but the fight is what matters it’s them still being real and honest to the other even if they don’t realize it just yet. season 4 is just another extension of the season 3 fight, but this time, they’re both projecting/accusing and yet insanely they’re both still being honest. will’s accusing mike of yet again abandoning him while deflecting his fault for not calling and mike’s projecting his homosexual thoughts into will, and yet again hes still being fully transparent to will, he calls out will’s bad behavior & WILL’S lack of effort too. all of this to say, we can see as the audience, queer or not, it’s practically crystal clear that stancy & mileven are parallels and only exist to show the audience immature, unreal love. while byler & jancy actually show the hardships of true love. romantic or not, they show how love is meant to be. it’s mean to be hard it’s meant to be painful, it’s meant to make you doubt, take a step back and remember that nothing is perfect but that it can always be worked through. byler & jancy make ALL parties involved better/uplift the other while stancy & mileven do the opposite they lead to lying, they lead to trying to uphold the “perfect” couple image and forgetting to make the other better because they’re too busy trying to make themselves look good. these ships are selfish and don’t put the other person’s needs into perspective. CRAZY btw that stancy (platonic) & elmike are WONDERFUL. they showcase the care they have for the other and how deep their relationship can actually become when they’re faced with life or death. one example is how mike reacted in season 3 when billy was coming after el and he found his courage to hit billy (mileven was broken up) but in season 4 despite being together and all love dove, in a serious moment, mike just can’t do anything to help el, she needed him and yet he couldn’t deliver romantically but he could platonically! reminding her to fight vs the i love you’s (duffers were crazy for this.

basically, stancy & mileven CANNOT be endgame and byler and jancy don’t have to be endgame bc the wheelers might enter an independent era. however, they cannot return to the people that have done nothing for their character development except show the audience how much better off they are without them. also if you think about it this is literally applicable to all endgame ships, jopper, duzie, lumax, & rovickie. nobody doubts jopper, why? because bob was adorable but they were low-key superficial, hopper understood joyce and was willing to believe “crazy joyce”. and even their fights in season 3, so interesting that we see this olive branch that exists between them from joyce even after they spend the ENTIRE season arguing. lumax, endgame from the jump, dustin was superficially fascinated with max bc she was a girl that had boy-ish interests he didn’t even know her, he didn’t try like lucas really did, you could say he didn’t have the chance, but it’s just too clear that lucas saw her as an equal, dustin saw her as an ideal figure (HMMM) & rovickie + stobin , teaches the audience that queer people deserve love and acceptance, exactly what they’ve been denied over and over. and dustin and suzie, insane that dustin had to teach steve that social norms don’t matter, that he should pursue the person who understand him best. suzie is gorgeous to dustin and she’s a brainiac that is now dustin’s equal. dustin has his disability but it doesn’t change at all how suzie sees him, she sees him for his perfections. jonathan is the outcast with mrs. perfect, two people who don’t “make sense” and yet fit together better than any popular jock for nancy. and byler, don’t get me started AGAIN, no one understands will like mike does, and no one makes mike feel better than will does. these ships don’t have to make sense to the outside world, just to the other.

[sunflowersonatas]

i can't take my eyes off you: drabble

james potter x f!reader / FLUFFFF, extreme pining

a/n: so... this started as being based off / taken from / inspired by / a continuation of (?) (idk anymore) one specific line my recent oneshot, with all my love, because i just couldn't. stop. writing it. for that reason i do recommend reading that one first for max understanding, but it should also be easy to read this as a standalone. Essentially it's recounting many love notes James wrote for her while they were in school, before they were dating, but never gave her until now. I really really loved writing the letters and little extra scraps at the end so this is essentially just more of that hehe hope you enjoy it!! xoxo sunny ☀️🌻

wc: 625

I’m very busy in class today. (I’m lying, I’m watching you twirl your quill and thinking about how unfairly pretty you are.) -Yours, whether you know it or not.

i can imagine him bored in class writing this, completely zoned out, transfixed by you. more accurately--- your lips. your quill is still spinning absentmindedly, but you look up at the right moment and catch his gaze. he's sitting right next to you, which happens a lot. he's looking right at you, which also happens a lot. he's very attentive.

you would give him a little look in response to his stare, clearly as bored by this class as he is. and only then does he snap out of it, blinking, dazed. high just from thinking of you.

and then he'd lean over and scribble this down on a corner of his parchment and tear it off, meaning to give it to you with his whole heart and soul. and he'd hold it in his hand, then his pocket, for what felt like ages. like a lead weight in his pocket, dragging him down into the cold ground.

and he would wait long enough until class would be over, and still the thought of going up to you and giving it to you, watching you read it, watching your expression. he couldn't handle it.

and he'd think, it's alright, i'll give it to her tomorrow. for now, i'll toss it in the box for safekeeping.

probably two inches at the bottom of the box (his you box) is dense with these little scraps. you could bunch them up in your hands and throw them like confetti. each one of them is a time he came so close--- going so far to scrawl his feelings out, messily and not very eloquently, but still taking the time. and in the end, they never did find their recipient. until now.

of the ones you do pick out to read, your most endearing notes are his most embarrassing ones. for some of them, he remembers the day: "yeah, this one, we were in the library, i put the note on top of your book, thought there was no way you could possibly miss it. and when you needed your book, you just handed the note back over to me, here you go, jamie! weren't making it easy for me, love."

some of the really affectionate and heartfelt ones, you pick out and stick onto your mirror for a daily affirmations, as much as he grumbles about how embarrassing it is, and how he was only a kid, really! you think it's sweet.

you put up one of the ones where he tried to confess how pretty he thought you are. a funny one just to make you smile. one to make you think of him, and always remember how incredibly lucky you are to have such a patient man who waited for you, all that time.

♡

You just sighed in frustration at your essay, and I think it might have been the most attractive thing I’ve ever witnessed. -Completely in love with you. Idiot. (me idiot not you idiot)

♡

There’s something I want to say, but I think if I write it down, it’ll be too real. Can we talk later? Alone? -James

♡

You know, if you ever need me, just say the word. No matter when, no matter why. Always here for you. -Your loving James

♡

If he makes you laugh again, I might actually lose my mind. Come back to me. -you know

♡

When you read this, you'll be awake, obviously. You fell asleep on the couch, I didn't want to bother you. You're a pretty sleeper. Not in a weird way. -James (not a creep)

♡

-☀️🌻

my current series Too Good To Be Fake (james potter fake dating!)