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drabbles-mc · 4 months ago

Text

Different Now

Bucky Barnes x ExWife!Reader

Warnings: 18+, smut, angst

For Week 5 of @buckybarnesevents Hot Bucky Summer 2024: exes

Word Count: 6k

A/N: something about Bucky and an ex-wife really got me Thinking Thoughts. hope y'all enjoy!!! xo

The apartment wasn’t something that you had asked for when it was all said and done. Really, you hadn’t asked for anything. The only things that you wanted weren’t things that could be divvied up by overpriced divorce lawyers.

When you had tried to tell Bucky that you weren’t interested in keeping the apartment, he wasn’t having it. You tried to argue that it had been his to begin with, that you were the one that moved in with him. It only made sense for you to be the one to move right back out again. But he was adamant—he always was. His argument then had been that he had another place to stay in the meantime until he found something else. It felt like half of his life was at the tower anyway, so it wouldn’t be a problem to treat it like a long-term stay at a hotel until he found a new apartment.

You were so sick of arguing by then that you just gave in. If he didn’t want to have it, it wasn’t the hill you were preparing to die on. You slapped your signature and initials where the lawyers told you to and just like that, the apartment was yours and Bucky wasn’t.

He did you the courtesy of letting you know when he would be stopping by to move all of his things out. When the day came, he knew that it was no stroke of luck that you happened to be out of town for a few days. The realization stung but he supposed that he couldn’t really blame you for it either.

The first few weeks after he’d moved all of his things out, the apartment felt almost painfully empty. There was a sliver of time during which you were thinking about moving out anyway, Bucky’s final parting gift be damned. It didn’t feel quite like home without him, without Alpine and all of the chaos and mess that came with the two of them.

Eventually you started to fill in the gaps that he’d left behind. New books for the shelves to fill the space where his used to be. Art and trinkets to fill in the empty spaces where his small pockets of clutter used to reside. It was the largest the apartment had ever felt and it was strange to have no one to share it with. Slowly, though, you started to adapt. It slowly started to feel like home.

Redecorating the apartment was one thing. Adjusting to your daily routine without Bucky being part of it was another. It wasn’t as though either of you had been blindsided by the divorce—it’d been coming for some time. Still, even as the distance had grown between you, there were still those tendrils of connection that hadn’t been severed yet. Attachments that only form after years spent with someone day in and day out through all of the things that the two of you had gone through together.

There were times when you were lounging on the couch in the living room and for a moment you’d find yourself wondering when he was going to come home only to realize that he wasn’t going to. Or you’d be heading home after work and you’d almost go to find his name in your phone to call and see if he needed you to pick anything up on your way. Habits you hadn’t even realized formed until you no longer needed them.

Weeks turned into months. New habits formed to replace the old ones that no longer suited you and your life. If you didn’t think too hard about it, you didn’t feel the dull ache that still existed down in your chest. You stayed busy with work, with friends. The times when you thought about reaching out to Bucky, you made every effort to reach out to just about anyone else instead. The last time you’d had any sort of conversation with him was when he moved his things out. And even then, it had been a simple text exchange. Him saying, “All set. Let me know if I missed anything.” Followed by your brief response of, “Will do”. Something short that made you glad he couldn’t see the tears that were welled up in your eyes.

Not reaching out to him was difficult. It was hard not to sit and wonder if he was having just as hard of a time with it as you were, but it wasn’t like you could reach out and ask him about it. The closest you got to any kind of communication with Bucky was the rare text from Steve. He never asked about Bucky or anything having to do with the two of you. He kept it cordial, the way that you’d expect from any acquaintance, you supposed. Because that’s what he was to you now. You got the apartment in the divorce. Bucky got all of his friends. Painful but fair.

You were halfway to falling asleep on the couch when your phone buzzed on top of the coffee table. The groan of annoyance you let out was involuntary, arm still slung across your forehead as you contemplated whether or not you wanted to see what anyone had to say. It wasn’t terribly late—not what you considered emergency late, anyway. But it was still getting close to past the time most people would be reaching out to chat.

Your arm that wasn’t covering your face reached out from underneath your throw blanket. Blindly groping around, your fingertips finally grazed over your phone. You were forcing your eyes to open back up all the way as you carefully held the phone over your face. There had been enough instances of you dropping it directly onto your nose and forehead to dissuade you, but it never stuck.

Skimming the notifications on your screen, at first you thought that your eyes were playing tricks on you. Maybe you were just exhausted. Or maybe you were stuck in a very realistic if not boring dream. Or nightmare, depending on how you wanted to look at it. There just didn’t seem to be any other reasons that there would be a text message from Bucky waiting to be opened.

It got you to sit upright, at least. The blanket fell from where it’d been pulled up to your shoulders, piling in your lap as you leaned back against the arm of the sofa. There was no universe in which you would leave the message unopened, or delete it without reading it. Even though you knew that about yourself, though, you still sat there for a few seconds and entertained the thought of it.

You typed in the passcode to your phone with the second nature ease you always did, the only difference now was that your heart was in your throat as you waited to see what the message was going to be. It’d been months, and it was late, and you had no idea what you should be expecting from him.

“Feel free to say no but I need a favor” Your heart dropped to your stomach and then another message came through. “Not an emergency”

His messages didn’t leave you feeling like you had anything in the way of answers. If anything, now you just had more questions. “You okay?” Part of you knew that if things had really been bad, he would’ve called. Or he wouldn’t have reached out at all. One of the two.

“Need a place to stay” You couldn’t help the deep sigh that you let out as you read his message. Then, as if he heard you, he sent a follow-up message. “Just one night. Promise”

If you said no, he’d drop the topic. You knew that about him beyond a shadow of a doubt. He’d let it go and realistically it would probably be the last time you heard from him. But you also knew that he wouldn’t be reaching out and asking you if he had somewhere else he felt like he could go. He had people he could lean on, places he could be. If he was reaching out to you there must’ve been something going on. It wasn’t your business to ask about anymore, though.

“Still have the address?” It was a lame pass at a joke, but you hoped it would at least convey that he could come over.

“Yeah, think I might have it somewhere. Thank you”

You didn’t reply, didn’t really feel like there was anything else that needed to be said. instead, you looked around your apartment and wondered if there was something that you were supposed to be doing. It felt strange, the idea of him being back in the apartment again. It was his first, sure. And then you shared it. But now it was yours and he was going to be a guest. However long it would take him to get there, you were sure it wasn’t enough time to unpack all of those feelings.

Bucky gripped onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing as he stood outside the door of your apartment. The halls leading to your apartment had been empty, which he should’ve expected with how late it was. He stared at the door, the same dark, mock-wood paneling staring him in the face that had each night for so many years. It felt familiar and strange to be standing in front of it again.

He adjusted his grip on his backpack, a brief distraction so he didn’t have to contemplate knocking or taking out his keys. It was later now than it had been when he first reached out. The amount of time that had passed had nothing to do with how long it took him to get from the tower to your apartment—that hadn’t taken very long at all. What made him so late was the amount of time he’d spent sitting in his car debating whether or not he was actually going to do this. The engine had been off, everything silent, and he just sat there staring at the symbol in the middle of his steering wheel as he weighed out every possible scenario, all of the pros and cons that he could think of.

But now he was here and he almost turned around and walked away again anyway. Before he could completely chicken out, he fished his keys back out of his pocket. It took him longer than he wanted to admit to realize that he still had the apartment key—it was just such a fixture on his keyring by that point. But he didn’t have it in him to bring it back. It wasn’t like he ever used it, or even thought about using it. There was something about it that he just couldn’t throw away.

He had about three seconds of thinking this was the one singular time that his sentimental streak was going to come in handy. But then when he tried to slip the key into the lock, he found that he couldn’t. He double-checked to make sure that he’d gone to the right apartment on the right floor, although he couldn’t imagine messing that up.

Then it hit him. Whether you had asked the landlord to swap out the locks after he left or if the man had done it on his own because he didn’t trust any split to be as cordial as any couple tried to make it out to be, Bucky no longer could let himself in. Pulling in a deep breath, he shoved his keys back into his pocket and reached to knock on the door.

The speed at which you leapt off the couch at the sound to get to the door would’ve been embarrassing if he had been able to see it. Luckily your shame was just for you. Stopping in front of the door, you took a couple breaths as you smoothed out the oversized t-shirt and pajama shorts that you were wearing. Maybe you should’ve thought to change but it was too late now. Besides, it wasn’t anything that Bucky hadn’t seen a million times before.

You undid all the locks. When you had first gone over to Bucky’s apartment you’d thought that he was a little paranoid. You didn’t blame him for it, but it still crossed your mind. After he’d moved out, though, you found that you had no interest in getting rid of the deadbolt or slider-chain that he’d had put onto the door.

His face was all exhaustion and worry until he found himself looking at you. Then the worry lines on his forehead eased a little, his frown didn’t stretch quite so deep. Even so, you could still see the stress on his face and in the way that he was holding himself. You were sure that the current circumstances didn’t help, but whatever had happened that resulted in him reaching out to you was just as much of a culprit.

“Hi,” he finally said when he realized that it’d just been the two of you silently staring at each other.

The sound of his voice was enough to get you to smile despite the knot in your stomach. “Hey.”

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, adjusting his backpack as he did. “Thank you for this. I know I shouldn’t have asked…”

You shook your head as you opened the door and gestured for him to come in. “It’s fine.” Once he was inside you turned around and redid all the locks. You ignored the endearing expression on his face when you faced him again for the sake of your own sanity. “Everything alright?”

He started off nodding but then it dissolved into a shrug as his chin tucked down towards his chest. “Didn’t want to stay at the tower. Everyone’s been at each other’s throats lately so when we got back this afternoon I just…I didn’t want to stay there.”

“Your place far away now?” you asked as you took his backpack from him and set it by the couch. You started to walk towards the kitchen, hoping he would take the hint and follow suit.

“What?” he asked, toeing off his boots before he started to trail behind you.

“Your apartment. Or house. Is it far?” You were still trying to figure out why he had decided to come here of all places.

“Um,” he stumbled on his words as he stayed by the stretch of counter kitty-corner to where you stood at the coffee pot, “n-no. Not…really.” He kicked himself immediately. He was never able to lie very well to you at all, let alone so quickly on his feet. It said plenty about him, about how he felt about you, but there was no time to get into all of that.

You looked over at him, eyebrows raised in curiosity. “Want a cup of coffee to hold onto while you tell me about whatever that means?” You kept your tone light and joking enough, but you knew that years of experience with you meant that Bucky knew he wasn’t going to be able to get out of explaining himself.

He let out a small sigh of defeat as he nodded. “Please.”

Neither of you said anything as you made a cup of coffee for each of you. You could see him out of the corner of your eye. Any other circumstance would’ve made it seem strange that he was staring at you so blatantly, but there weren’t very many other things to hold his attention at the moment. Something told you he wasn’t really in the mood to try and count all the things you’d changed after he moved out.

You brought the coffee mugs over to the small table that was tucked off to the side in your kitchen. You sat down and waited for him to do the same, which he did after a moment of hesitation. He pulled his mug closer to him, cupping it between both his hands even though only one could really feel the warmth radiating off of it.

“So?” you asked before taking a sip from your cup.

He didn’t look at you, eyes fixed on the drink in front of him. “I’ve been staying at the tower.”

You nodded, leaning back in your chair. “Okay?”

He sighed, shaking his head. He still couldn’t make himself look up. “Since I m—” he tripped on the words, still not accustomed to saying them out loud, “Since I moved out.”

Your eyes widened. “Bucky.”

He had no other choice but to look at you now. “I know.”

Gesturing briefly to the apartment, you said, “I told you to just keep th—”

“I know you did,” he cut you off. “I wanted you to have it. Still do.”

“You can’t just stay at the tower forever. It’s basically, like, a glorified frathouse.”

You both had a laugh at that before Bucky’s face sobered up. “I wasn’t planning on staying there. Just,” he took a sip of his coffee, enjoying it more than anything he’d concocted at the tower in the last few months “didn’t get to it.”

“Tony mention starting to charge you rent, then?” you asked, a joking lilt to your tone to hide the ache in your chest.

Bucky huffed out a laugh, a slight upward curl to his lips, but you could tell that he was trying to stuff down some of the same feelings that you were. “I’m sure he will once he figures out how much hot water I use.”

You let a beat pass before saying, “If you need help finding a place, I can—”

“No, no.” There was a hint of frustration in his voice but it wasn’t really directed at you. “Finding a spot isn’t the issue. I can do that.”

“Then why the fuck have you been crashing at the tower this long?”

“I wasn’t ready to get my own place!” he snapped, not meaning to. The answer came out quickly and much more honestly than he intended. He’d wanted to some up with something snarky to evade the discussion, but it was too late and he was too tired. Sitting across the table from you always left him feeling so vulnerable. He tried to ignore the sad frown on your face, the tears welling in your eyes. “I wasn’t ready to start over. Getting my own place? I just…yeah, no.”

“Sorry,” the word came out meek and mumbled. You hadn’t meant to pry open that particular can of worms, especially not on a night that he was just looking for a place to unwind and rest. Maybe it would’ve done the two of you some good to have some form of contact over the last few months, but it was too late to go back and fix that now.

“You still like it here?” he asked.

You could hear the hopefulness in the question. There was only one right answer to the question. Bucky needed to know that the one thing that he could really leave you with was something that had done you some good, something you could still enjoy even if he wasn’t around to enjoy it with you anymore.

You nodded. “I like it. It’s…you know…it’s different now. But I like it.”

He tried not to sound too relieved. “Good.”

Minutes ticked by with nothing but silence between you. Everything that either of you wanted to say, you felt like you couldn’t. every time you glanced over at Bucky, he was already looking at you. His face never really gave away much, but you could still see the sadness in his eyes. You couldn’t help but to think that this wasn’t exactly what he thought he was singing on for when he reached out needing a place to crash for the night.

Like he could read your thoughts, he spoke up. “Figured I’d just take the couch.”

“You sure?” you asked, like you had any real backup plan to offer.

He nodded as he stood up out of his seat. He picked his mug up off the table, and then yours before walking them over to the sink. You watched him as he quickly rinsed them out before setting them down in the sink basin. “It’s fine. I’ll be gone before you’re up in the morning.”

You frowned at that without meaning to. “You don’t have to—”

“It’s fine. Like I said—I just needed a break.”

There was no use in trying to turn it into an argument, so you nodded. “Okay. I’ll grab you a blanket and a pillow.”

His shoulders relaxed. “Thank you.”

When you came back out to the living room, Bucky had already changed. He was in his usual sleepwear—an told tank top and loose shorts. When the two of you were together, he’d always just foregone the shirt half of the equation, but you assumed that he was trying his best to be courteous.

You offered him the folded-up blanket and the pillow resting on top of it with a weak smile. “Here you go.”

His smile wasn’t much more convincing than yours, but at least you were trying together. “Thanks.”

“No problem.” You raked your fingers back over your scalp as you tried to figure out if there was something else you should be saying or doing. “If you need anything else, let me know. Or, you know,” the nervous laugh you let out let him know you were no more certain about this joke than he was going to be, “help yourself. Whatever it is, is probably right where you left it.”

Surprisingly enough you both chuckled quietly. “Thank you.”

There was nothing more to say or do but it still felt wrong to turn and head off to your room. Your standing there wasn’t doing either of you any good, so you crossed your arms over your chest. “Okay. Goodnight, then.”

He nodded as he tossed the pillow onto the couch and started to unfold the blanket you’d given him. “Night.”

You took a small step backwards. “If I don’t see you in the morning, good luck. With…you know, everything.”

He gave a small smile as he draped the blanket onto the couch cushions. “Thanks, doll.”

The sharp silence that followed those two words permeated the entire room. Bucky froze, unable to look over at you. You froze, unable to look anywhere but at him. The tension in his muscles came back tenfold as he tried to figure out how to walk himself out of the minefield he’d just stepped into. He took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before over at you.

“Sorry,” he said, although he wasn’t sure how much he meant it. “Force of habit. It’s been a while.”

You wished that you’d felt nothing when he said it, but there was still the flutter in your stomach at the sweetness, the familiarity of the pet name that he hadn’t been around to call you in far too long.

“It’s okay,” you reassured him. You pulled your arms a little tighter around yourself, like that would stop you from reaching out and doing something stupid that you’d be kicking yourself for later. “I get it.”

He could see the tension in your body, could practically feel the waves of it rolling off you. “You sure it’s alright that I’m here?”

You laughed, the sound tired but still a little amused at the question. Your arms dropped back to your sides. “Yes. God. Please, it’s fine. Don’t, don’t worry about it. I’d be more upset knowing you were going back to the tower.”

He laughed, muscles in his shoulders loosening. “Okay.”

You reached out, fingertips just barely grazing against his forearm. “Goodnight.”

The touch barely lasted for a second but he could’ve sworn that he felt the warmth from your fingertips spread throughout his whole body in that moment. You were already turned away from him and making your way to the bedroom. Off to be alone in a place the two of you spent so many nights sharing.

His body was moving faster than his brain as he stepped to go after you. He knew as he was doing it that it was a terrible idea from every angle but he couldn’t stop himself. You’d heard his footsteps, and you were turning around to see what he was that he needed. Your pause caused him to have to stop short, hardly a hair’s breadth between you. You were holding your breath in anticipation, waiting for whatever was coming next, Bucky’s eyes desperately searching yours.

He brought his hand up to your cheek, his palm rough but warm against your face. You sunk into his touch the same way one sinks into their bed at home after a long trip away. Your eyes fluttered shut but it didn’t stop the tears from welling and escaping onto your cheeks.

“Bucky…” even at a whisper your voice cracked with emotion as you said his name.

He waited for you to open your eyes, to look at him again. Your eyes were glassy, the tears that weren’t staining your cheeks clinging to your lashes. But you were beautiful. In that moment he couldn’t understand how or when it had all turned into such a mess. It seemed impossible that it had all fallen apart.

He was waiting for you to pull away as he leaned in, but you didn’t. You didn’t backpedal, didn’t try to push him away from you, didn’t ask him to stop or say it was a bad idea, even though he should’ve and it was. His lips caught yours for the first time in…he didn’t want to think about how long. When you kissed him back it felt like it erased all the months of distance and silence between you. Your hands rested on his chest and suddenly the mess disappeared.

Even when you came back up for air, your lips were still practically touching. Your nose brushed against his as you shook your head. “Bucky.”

He shut his eyes tight for a moment, knowing where this was going. “Don’t.”

A knot formed in the back of your throat. “But—”

“Please.” He brought his other hand up so that they were both cupping your face. It’d been a long time since the chill of the metal made you flinch. It still felt familiar, welcoming despite the circumstances. “Please.”

Another half-hearted protest was on the tip of your tongue but he kissed you again before you could get it out. It made your knees weak, the amount of desire that he was able to pack into one gesture, a gesture that didn’t last nearly long enough.

“I know,” he said with a tiny nod. He pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth. “But I’m askin’ anyway.”

You knew that you were going to give in from the start, but at least now you could lie to yourself if you had to—you could tell yourself that you at least tried to put up a little bit of a fight. Satisfied with that, you nodded as you leaned in and kissed him.

Relief coursed through him as he wrapped his arms around you. With no hesitation he turned and started to walk you back towards the couch, not taking his lips off yours as he did. His hands slipped up underneath the fabric of your shirt dragging and mapping out your skin like he was trying to feel for anything that had changed since he last had you like this. Your hands slid up his chest and neck, briefly running over the stubble that was coming in along his jaw, before they wound themselves into his hair. He leaned into you, deepening your kiss further at the sensation of your nails carding through his hair and raking along the top of his head.

He pulled out of the kiss, only doing so long enough to get your shirt off, and to allow you to do the same to him. They landed haphazardly on the floor between the couch and the coffee table. They no sooner hit the floor and Bucky had you lying flat on your back on the couch. Not even a second passed before he was on top of you, settled over you and in between your legs like he was always meant to be there. He kissed you with conviction as his hands ran over your stomach and chest. You moaned into his mouth at the sensation, missing the way that it felt when he touched you like this.

You felt the smooth metal of his Vibranium hand cupping the side of your face while his other hand trailed teasingly down your stomach towards the waistband of your shorts. You felt the whine building in the base of your throat before he even reached your core. The way you felt him smile into your kiss let you know that he knew it, too. You missed him too much and wanted him too badly to care about that.

The second you felt his fingers give a teasing graze over your center, you were bucking into his touch. You felt the shaky breath he took in, like there was still some part of him that was trying to exercise some self-control. It was too late for that now as far as you were concerned. He dragged his fingers along your folds, feeling how wet you already were for him. The thought of you still wanting him so badly had him pulling his lips off of yours so that he could litter your neck and chest in love-bites and marks that would be there long after this was over.

You arched into his touch, the feeling of his teeth along your skin. His hand that had been cupping your face now had a firm grip on your jaw, keeping your chin angled in a way that gave him the most access to the sensitive skin of your neck. You didn’t fight it, helpless to do anything but whine and pant, hands tugging at his hair so that you could feel the vibrations of his moans along the column of your throat.

If things had been different, you could’ve spent hours doing just this—just the touching and teasing. The game and the chase of it all. But the invisible clock that hung over the two of you was ticking, and reality was going to set back in sooner than you wanted. You wanted him one more time in earnest before you lost him again.

“Bucky,” you whimpered.

Then he was over you, looking down into your eyes. His expression was half-arousal, half-worry, like he thought this was going to be the moment when the other shoe dropped, when you decided that this was too bad of an idea to continue.

You pulled lightly down on his bottom lip with the pad of your thumb. “I wanna feel you inside me.”

Your words, the desperation in your voice, it nearly rendered Bucky a puddle on the floor. He couldn’t conjure up a single word to say, but he didn’t have to. Instead, he quickly pulled your shorts down your legs and tossed them off to the side. He felt the way you were pushing down on the waistband of his and the breathy laugh he let out only lasted for a moment before he realized you got them halfway down his thighs. You were too needy to wait any longer, wrapping your legs around his waist and pulling him into you.

Bucky lined himself up at your entrance, sliding in as you wound your legs tighter around him. Your lips crashed against his in a bruising kiss as you reveled in the sensation of him pushing into you. Your moaned and gasped into his mouth at the return of the familiar sensation, your nails clawing at his back because you had to get it out of you somehow.

He left a trail of kisses along your jaw up to your ear. His voice was low as he egged you on, coaxing more out of you as he started to thrust into you. He missed this, the way you felt, the way you sounded. He missed your moans and the way you said his name, the way you asked for more, harder, don’t stop, like he was a man who would ever tell you no. He missed telling you how good you feel, like you were made for him. He missed telling you how pretty you look when he’s fucking you.

He missed everything else, too, but for now this was what he could have. And he wasn’t going to waste the opportunity.

Your legs were trembling around his waist and he knew that you were close. He wasn’t far behind you. He didn’t stand a chance from the start. Then your teeth sunk into the skin where his neck met his shoulder and the last of his resolve went out the window. His thrusts became harder, faster. His face was buried in the crook of your neck when you came, and he etched the way you cried out his name into his memory.

Even in your blissful daze, you could still feel that he was getting close. You felt the way his hips began to tense and stutter. You could also feel the way that has was trying to pull out. You were a pliant mess beneath him but you still had enough strength in you to grip onto his hips and pull him towards you.

He shook his head. “I—”

“Please,” you begged, words slurred with lust, “Jus’ wanna feel you again.”

The neediness in your tone and the pout of your lips did him in. He spilled into you, continuing to thrust until after he was spent. He collapsed on top of you, still buried inside you as he rested his head on your chest. Your heart was thumping at a rabbit’s pace against his cheek, and all he had it in him to do was close his eyes and soak it in.

Neither of you said anything as you tried to catch your breath. Bucky slid his arms underneath you, hands on your back as he kept himself pulled tight to you. You had one hand flat on Bucky’s back between his shoulder blades, the other toying idly with the messy locks of hair that you could reach.

This would usually be the time when one of you started the, “You okay?” conversation, but it felt like there was too much to unpack for that question now. Instead, Bucky tilted his head and looked up at you, giving a slight raise to his eyebrows. You got the hint giving a tiny nod to let him know that, given the circumstances of it all, right now you were fine if he was fine.

He relaxed then, letting his head drop back to your chest again. You settled back into the pillow that you’d originally brought out for him to use. Eventually, when you caught your breath, you’d head back to your own bedroom. But for now, there was comfort in the cramped quarters of the couch.

When you woke up the next morning, it was to the light coming through your living room windows. You let out a tiny groan, wiping at your eyes as you tried to register your surroundings. You were on the couch, blanket draped over you. Alone. And that’s when the night before rushed back over you all at once.

Sitting up, you looked around the apartment. Your clothes were folded and left neatly on the coffee table, but Bucky’s were nowhere to be found. Glancing over to the kitchen, you saw the two coffee mugs from the night before washed and left to dry in the drainboard. Then you looked down at the floor beside you and noticed that Bucky’s backpack was gone. Just like him.

(divider by @silkholland 💞)

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starleska · 2 years ago

Note

how would wally react to a neighbor who uses ASL (sign language) to talk?

i love your head canons!

thank you very much!!! you're so kind :3c ooooh this is a wonderful idea, thank you for sending it in!! just to let you know - i'm British (unfortunately), and my personal experience of sign language is influenced by BSL, so i've tried to make this widely applicable for anyone who may use sign language. i hope you don't mind! 🥰

Wally Darling x Reader Who Uses Sign Language headcanons

⭐ Wally is versed in several types of sign language, as well as Makaton and lip-reading. as a neighbourly fellow who is ever-curious about the lovely people who stumble into his life, Wally realised early on that communication via voiced speech alone wasn't inclusive, practical, or possible for some of his friends. in fact, Wally first began learning sign language to communicate with Julie, who has a tendency to become nonverbal when overwhelmed. soon, Wally and the rest of the neighbourhood realised the enormous benefits of being versed in sign language, and began hosting impromptu classes to practice their signing. everyone in the neighbourhood is able to communicate well through sign language, but Wally is undoubtedly the most fluent! ⭐ when Wally first meets you, he is adorably excited by the way you talk. although he loves talking to his friends through sign, Wally finds conversations with you incredibly stimulating. you're interesting, and funny, and know just what to sign to make him break out into peals of his odd, halting laughter. indeed, Wally talks much faster via sign than he does through verbal speech. he often gets swept up in the act of signing; sometimes, you'll need to grab hold of his hands to get him to slow down, as he signs too fast in his excitement! ⭐ Wally is fascinated by the visuals of you signing. as we know, Wally eats with his eyes, but the things he visually devours are not limited to food. early into your friendship, Wally shyly requests that you ramble to him in sign so he can become more accustomed to your unique movements and sign-related dialect. you're happy to do so, but after a few minutes of talking to Wally, you realise his eyes have grown large: akin to an owl's eyes, absorbing all light like a black hole. you gesture to Wally to snap him out of his trance, and it takes a few blinks for his pupils to return to their normal size. he giggles, and apologises, signing: "Sorry! You speak beautifully. I was hungry." for the rest of the day, you press Wally to elaborate on what he means, but he just gives you a coy look and a shake of his head. awww i loved writing this one, thanks so much @xo-destiny!! we need more sign language headcanons in the world, and discussion of disability and non-voiced ways of communication too. hope you like this 🥰💖

#wally darling #wally darling x reader #welcome home #welcome home arg #starleskawrites #starleskasks #wally darling x you

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simpxxstan · 2 months ago

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cannn i request a bff! Wonwoo with lots of pining and emotional constipation pls 🤍 love ur writings

anon requested: hiii can i please request a f2l wonwoo trope? Luv ur writings<3

this is a part of my 550 followers event, but requests are now CLOSED.

genre: sugary fluff, gamer!wonwoo, high school au, friends to lovers.

word count: 6.9k words.

listening to his voice asmr audios and leftover while writing this- can't you tell i just love wonwoo's voice? he's just such a warm hug personified! pls note: i've combined two requests here because they're similar! thank you to both anons for requesting! i'm so sorry again for the delay T_T i rewrote this many times. i hope you like it!!

warnings: very shy reader, gaming references (likely to be inaccurate due to lack of personal experience, please excuse!).

it's the last year of your high school, and yet it doesn't feel like so. you may have turned 18 early this year, but it doesn't feel like the year you graduate from school and move on to a higher, more independent direction in life.

or perhaps you're just not mature enough. not ready enough to embrace adulthood. either way, the intense fear of what the future holds has you by the throat since the start of the year. it's not that you're trying to escape from responsibilities, but somehow it daunts you to no end that you'll have to leave this cocoon you've lived in all your life. step out of your comfort zone and into the real world.

perhaps it's not a maturity thing. perhaps it's just an introvert thing.

you're quite sure none of your classmates feel this scared of the future right now. most of them have their career goals defined, ready to sit for entrance examinations, or write applications to foreign universities. most of them have had experiences bordering on the edge of adulthood already- like their first kiss, their first date, their first relationship. most of them have already figured out where they see themselves three or four years from now- even if it not perfectly, it's brilliant that they even see themselves four years from now.

you? you don't even know if you'll be able to make it on time to the first day of class. it's literally the last year of school, and you've still not mastered the art of not getting late due to extreme social anxiety on the first day of class. somehow you rush into class, ankles burning from running through the campus, moments before the teacher arrives. you notice that there are only two seats left available in the class- one in the first bench, and another towards the back. you wonder if you should be sitting in the front to make a good impression on the teachers on your first day, but then your friends wave to you from the back, and your decision is made for you.

just as you finally settle down, your nerves easing out with the flowing conversation with your friends, the teacher walks into the classroom, creating pin-drop silence instantly, but she's not alone.

"good morning, class. welcome your new classmate for this year." on hearing her words, you look up from the new book your friend's been showing you.

the book almost drops from your hands.

"hello! my name is jeon wonwoo. nice to meet you all!"

in this moment, you're so, so glad you didn't choose to sit in the first bench. in this moment, you're so, so glad you always stick to your friends who generally do the talking for you whenever you're outside your tight-knit friend circle. in this moment, you're so, so glad you're the most ordinary-looking girl in the class.

because all of these ensure jeon wonwoo doesn't even spare a glance at you. and if you can keep yourself in check, he will not spare a glance at you for the rest of the eleven months of the school year. it's anyway just one year. if you keep out of his sight for long enough, he'll forget you exist.

as you walk home that evening, you wonder why must the universe be so cruel to you that it's now decided to make jeon wonwoo enter your class? wasn't it enough that he tormented you every day after beating you at games, that now you would have to see him daily in your immediate periphery? wasn't it enough that he'd already stolen your heart when you knew nothing of him except his voice, that now you would have to also know how devastatingly handsome he is in real life?

on reaching home, you slump down in your gaming chair and turn on your desktop.

2 messages from jeonwonubokdeongeori

you sigh before clicking the discord popup open, your annoyance increasing tenfold on reading the texts.

how was your first school day? going to a new school is so daunting T_T

daunting? with that face? with those charms? with that obvious intelligence sparkling in his eyes that no teacher can resist? what a liar. but at least he's telling you now that he's going to a new school. you can't ask him the name of the school because you don't want him to get curious about your school in return. so you keep it neutral.

i bet it wasn't as bad as mine lol wanna play and get the stress out?

wonwoo's message comes instantly, and you feel yourself melting. it does sound like such a tempting idea, especially with the way your body is still high-strung from all the social exposure and new worries of the final academic year. you want to say no- you want to start distancing yourself from him, you want to ensure your crush doesn't become serious. and yet, you can't keep yourself away from clicking on the yes button when he sends you a request to join a game.

seconds later, his voice rumbles in slowly through the other side of the game. his player is wearing a yellow outfit today, similar to your school uniform. "hey," it's a single syllable but it sends a shiver of comfort down your spine, and you can feel your body relax. it's online. he doesn't know it's you. it's just a game between friends.

"hi won," you voice is a soft whisper, almost afraid that he'll recognise you. you're sure he won't, because you've made sure he hasn't heard your voice throughout the day- but even if he does, he doesn't indicate it in any way.

he chuckles on the other end. "you sound so tired. you probably need sleep more than a game." "i've been drinking too much soda- no way i'm gonna sleep soon," you stifle a yawn to keep talking to him. "mhmm, soda's not good for you, princess." princess. you know it's not a nickname, or meant to be endearing. he's simply referring to your username, pretzel_princess, which you go by during games. three days ago, you'd wished you'd used your own name as your username, just so you can hear him say your name while playing, although princess sounds good enough. but in hindsight, it's been the best decision you've ever made.

"jeon wonwoo, are you just stalling the game?" you smirk, and you hope he hears it in your voice.

he does.

"well then, game on, princess."

after that, you can't keep your eyes away from wonwoo. the initial shock has now worn down- and suddenly the reality seems more stark in full HD. he's right here- literally ten seats away from you. in all likelihood, you could just whisper and he would hear your voice.

and identify you at once.

and yet, you can't keep your eyes off him. he seems so.... different in real life, and yet exactly the same. you start linking every tiny bit of character you've learned about him till now to his real self.

like how he's complained to you multiple times about his poor eyesight- and you've scolded him about his terrible gaming addiction and how he should stop immediately, only for him to laugh it off. you can see how thick his glasses are, and how he has to squint often even with the glasses- and you make a mental note of scolding him again tonight.

like how he doesn't like swimming during the physical education classes- instead opting for athletics. he's told you before he has a fear of drowning, and now you witness this with your own eyes too.

like how he's an introvert too- keeping mostly to himself, although everyone is trying to get a piece of him. with his looks and his natural charm, you can hardly blame the girls and the guys for swarming around him every day. although it's barely been a week since he's joined, he's already solidified a fanbase- people who are ready to give him homework, their lunchboxes and also their hearts. it's no surprise though- you're no different than them. you were just a tad bit more pathetic- at least they hadn't fallen for him after hearing just his voice.

it feels like you're leading a double life. you've never been more thankful for your introvertedness- perhaps the only time you've been thankful for it. but this is the only way to ensure wonwoo doesn't know who you are. you do your best to ensure your friends don't get curious about him, and even if they do talk to him, you stay away from the spot at that moment. it's even better because none of the teachers know you by your name (you've never given them reason to), hence no one in class draws attention to you. your friends call you by a nickname (not princess), so even if they're calling out for you from a distance, wonwoo could never realise it's you.

well. things are not as bad as you'd think they would be.

unless of course, one counts the worsening of your infatuation. it's already been a while since you've known each other as ... online best friends. well, you'd been gaming together on the same server for a year now, but it was only eight months since you'd dm-ed him, and initiated a conversation, ignoring your shaky hands. thankfully, he'd replied almost instantly- and that had sparked things off. too fast, you'd gone from strangers who game together occasionally to friends you share your feelings and thoughts with. wonwoo had been surprisingly easy to open up to. perhaps because he resonated with most of your experiences? with him being as introverted and shy as you see him now, you'd understand why. or perhaps because you'd always thought he would be just an online friend- a voice behind a screen. never more tangible than that. and there was a comfort in that. no fear of judgement. no insecurity about your looks. no worries about embarrassment. and even when you had your voice on, conversation had flown easily, and so had giggles and intimate moments.

you slam your head against the textbook you're reading as you remember that night when you'd messed up. of course, your crush was nothing new. you'd slowly and surely begun to develop feelings for the gentle-voiced gamer who had won his way into your heart with his gaming skills and the softness with which he treated you. like how he would immediately catch on to any exhaustion in your voice. how he'd remember the little details you told him about your daily life. how he'd remind you to sleep instead of playing another match, because you'd have to wake up early the next day. sometimes, with your headphones on and wonwoo's voice floating in, you'd escape from this real world, away from the fears of your life, into a world where it felt like you were sitting with him, on a swing, in a playground. and sometimes, your imaginary world took you to a rollercoaster, him holding your hand as you both screamed with the adrenaline rushing to your head. and eventually, your imagination would take you to a world where you'd picture a faceless wonwoo hugging you after a long day of studies, just as his words comforted you with the similar warmth of a hug.

well, faceless no more.

your face heats up as your mind strays to the thought of hugging wonwoo. knowing he was so much taller than you, and so beautifully built even in the hideous school uniform, his hugs would absolutely engulf you and drown you in his warmth. you shake your head as you focus on your book again. you shouldn't be daydreaming about your online best friend. not when you don't even have the guts to own up and face him in real life.

the next month is largely uneventful. the novelty of wonwoo's presence slowly wears off, although his fanbase does not. but you've grown smart at avoiding him. with your study pressure mounting up, you both have lesser time to play games anyway, but whenever you do, you're bound to lose your sleep. because after two hours of just you and him, your noise-cancelling headphones focusing on every breath he takes and curse he utters while playing, your mind feels like levitating. he frequents your dreams on those nights- and you dream about an alternate reality where you can sit next to him in the library and hear his gentle voice from up close instead of simply through your headphones. where his laugh shakes up your desk and you can actually see the beautiful smile you know he must have on his face whenever you crack a silly joke and he laughs for you. where you can solve his maths sums with him, after he complains about finding them too hard.

you know you're being stupid. you have your college entrances coming up really soon, and you should move on from this silly crush of yours when you're not even brave enough to do anything about it. but you simply can't distance yourself from jeon wonwoo.

"what are you thinking about, princess? you're very quiet these days." his question isn't probing, but caring. "it seems like there's a lot on your mind."

you sigh. "there is, but i can't tell you."

"no? wonwoo's upset on hearing that."

you double take on hearing that. "it's nothing serious. just silly worrying. i don't want to dump on you-" "you're not dumping anything on me. if you keep stuff from me, i'll feel even more helpless and sad." you try to understand if there's any hint of fakeness in his voice, but you cannot hear anything except the slow rumble of genuineness in his voice.

"i- i can't tell you, wonwoo."

"is it about me?"

"what? no. no, no. why would i be upset about you?"

"i don't know. why else would you hide things from me?"

"ummm-"

"i won't push you. but i really want to help. i like hearing you laugh often, princess."

he doesn't raise the issue again during that match, but his words linger in your mind for longer than they should. it ends up distracting you during the game, and he tsks into the microphone.

"i'm seriously going to abort this game if you don't tell me why you're playing so badly. i thought we were friends."

best friends, you remember telling wonwoo two months back. you're the closest thing to a best friend that i have, won. and he'd said it back, his voice shy, me too, princess. i'm so glad i found you.

"you're not going to let this go, will you?" your voice is vulnerable, as his caring words really seep into the layer beneath your skin. "if you want me to, i will."

"then i do want you to. i'll talk about it when i'm ready, wonwoo."

he sighs, and you feel the sound of his breath send a shudder through your spine.

"as you want, princess."

it's midterms week and you're neck-deep in assignments, when wonwoo's call request comes in. you don't think twice before accepting it, knowing he's a great study partner.

"hey! are you busy with exams?" "so right i am." "yeah lol, me too. 'tis the season, huh?" he chuckles, and you grin. if you consider the fact that it's almost the end of two months and wonwoo still doesn't know you, then it makes you feel ... kinda good on the inside. like you're in a detective movie. like you're in a spy film.

"my brother says he wants to meet you." you almost choke on your coffee when you ask him, "what?!" "yeah, he said that he's heard enough about you, now he wants to see if you exist at all." "you can just tell him i exist-" "he doesn't believe me. says that i'm too loser to have a sweet girl friend like you."

sweet girl friend.

pretty sure wonwoo doesn't intend it to sound like the way it does, but it does make your skin burn up with an unbearable blush instantly. all your sleepiness is gone instantly, his words acting quicker than coffee, and you sit upright.

"you're not a loser. and you have plenty of female friends, i'm sure." "no, and no. princess, i play games on my computer every day, barely have a social life, and haven't gone on a date with anyone in my seventeen years of existence. i don't think you understand my loser level."

"and your brother has done all of this?" "you bet. he has a girlfriend and he's just fifteen. seems kinda illegal to me." you laugh. "as long as he isn't crossing lines, it's not illegal i guess." "hmm true. the point is- we're really very different, my brother and i. and i admit i am a loser... in real life."

you coo at him, your voice becoming softer. you can't imagine him having confidence issues- not when you've seen how perfect he literally is. "i think you're just overthinking. firstly, gamers aren't losers. secondly, you do have a social life. you have me. and you have those other friends you game and hang out wit-" "yes but seungcheol and mingyu are also losers. seungcheol is literally in college but hasn't been able to get laid yet." wonwoo's dead-serious words make you burst out laughing, and he joins in.

"i think it's just because you're all shy. it's okay! you know i'm super shy too." there's a pause before he replies, and you almost think you've lost your internet connection. "i don't think you're as shy as me, though." "there's no comparative metric, won."

another pause. "maybe. but i wish i wasn't like this. you know, you and i live in the same city, but we've never even planned to meet up or anything."

your pulse flutters in your neck. "but that's the charm of online friendships! we connect so well, but just talking online is enough, isn't it?"

"yes... but don't you ever get curious?"

you're moments away from a meltdown. you want to confess your secret and run away from the desktop at the same time- because you're sure he's recognised you. but thankfully he replies before you do. "but then again, i wouldn't ever be able to face you because of how often you've beaten me in overwatch." and his laugh breaks the tension and you take a deep breath of relief. fuck. that was close.

"wonwoo, you were right when you'd told me you'll need some help in pre-calc. i understand that the curriculum in your previous school was slightly behind ours here, which is why your foundation is a bit weak. don't worry, smart boys like you catch up in no time." you'd barely paid attention to your math teacher's ramblings, eager to pack up your bag and leave for home. it's finally the end of the class day, and you're excited for the weekend. you also know wonwoo's birthday is tomorrow, and you've bought a new character for him on the game you're both obsessing on currently, and you can't wait to hear his excited, high-pitched giggle tonight when he receives his gift mid-match.

"y/n and seori, i want you to discuss amongst yourselves who would like to tutor wonwoo in his pre-calculus foundations for the rest of this term. you'll receive extra marks for this on my paper, so i request you to take this seriously."

your bag slips from your fingers, as you look up, an ashen look on your face. it's clear that your teacher wants you to take this up with the way she's got her eyes fixed on you even as seori has already stepped up to her. thankfully she speaks before you need to. "i'll do it, ma'am. y/n, i hope that's okay with you? i really need the extra marks," she whispers the last bit to you, and you let out a sigh of relief as you nod your approval. you look away from seori to see wonwoo's eyes on yours, and you panic for a moment. but there's no sign of recognition. just a mild curiosity and confusion flash in his pretty eyes, before you avert your eyes and walk out of the classroom.

it's probably a coincidence, you tell yourself as you walk back home, your heart still racing from the close escape you made mere minutes ago. it was bound to happen some time or the other, you console yourself, you're lucky to have avoided it for two entire months anyway. but as soon as you reach home and switch on your desktop, you see a notification flash.

4 messages from jeonwonubokdeongeori

what can he have to say? what if he has actually recognised you? you gulp, your palms sweaty as you click it open.

hey can we skip tonight's gaming session? i have a small gaming party with my friends tonight and then they'll be coming over for a sleepover

oh, must be a birthday celebration.

sorry if you were looking forward to it :(

you were looking forward to it. you've spent a solid bit of your savings from your pocket money to buy it for him, and you'd really looked forward to, well, hearing his reaction. but you wouldn't dream of barging into his plans.

ooh it's not a big deal at all! i hope you have fun, wonu <3

you see him come online instantly, and you're hit with panic. maybe you shouldn't have sent the heart. it was overstepping boundaries, wasn't it?

i'll make it up to you, princess ^^

god. he knows too damn well how to make your heart flutter.

or maybe you can come along and join the party? you already know seungcheol, right? it'll just be him and a couple of my other friends. jungkook and mingyu. they're really fun too hehe

the panic rises in your throat again. fuck. you remember exactly what happened the last time you joined a gaming party with wonwoo and seungcheol. and you've spent the entire last month trying to erase it from your memory, and if you could, really, from wonwoo's memory too. so you're pretty quick to turn him down.

nah i think i'll pass have fun tho!

and then you go offline to avoid spiralling into your thoughts, and get into studies. which is actually what you should be doing, instead of gaming with your crush anyway.

silence.

radio fucking silence.

there's just the pitter patter of the rain outside, but no replies from wonwoo.

i like hearing you laugh.

i'm glad i found you.

sweet girl friend.

it all feels like a lie when you stare for hours at the unseen, unread, unopened message that's staring back at you from your chat with wonwoo. it's almost night, one would think he could text back with a simple thank you after you'd spent half your pocket money on buying him the new character.

or maybe wonwoo is just like all the other boys. what did you even expect? that he'd be rolling over in gratitude after you buy him something he's been audibly craving for for weeks now? that he'd confess his love for you after you stupidly purchase something for him that has no real value?

get out of your damned imaginary world, y/n, you chide yourself mentally as you wipe the lone tear that has begun sliding down your cheek. but it doesn't make sense! after all these months of getting to know wonwoo, you simply can't believe it that he's this heartless that he won't even have the courtesy of replying back after almost an entire day of receiving the gift. and you know it's not an unwanted gift. and you also know wonwoo isn't the type to ghost you either! you'd think he's busy or caught up in something- but you can the little text next to his discord icon showing that he's been online today. then there's really no logical explanation left that can explain this kind of beha-

oh.

of course.

of course! he must have found out who you are. fuck. maybe during the delivery of the character, they must have shown him your email address or something to show them who's send him the gift. and that would be a total giveaway because your email address definitely contains your name. either he's put two and two together and matched princess with y/n, and naturally, instantly felt repulsed by you- hence the lack of response.

or.... (and this is honestly the worse option) he thinks you're just y/n who's sending him a birthday gift that miraculously coincides with something he really wants. oh my god. this really is much worse than the other alternative because now he thinks of you as a creep who can't even meet his eyes in class but must be stalking him and finding out about his gaming hobby.

another slow tear rolls down your cheek, and the phone drops from your hands and crashes down on the tiled floor, the screen cracking from side-to-side.

at this point, you should just drop out from school.

but of course you don't. monday comes round, and so does your period. you've never been more thankful for cramps before today. at least it saves you from the embarrassment of facing wonwoo. as you toss and turn in pain on your bed all day, trying fruitlessly to read your study material, your mind keeps going back to one face.

a single, delicately created face, with eyes that look alive. complete with a simple pair of metal glasses, shining against the spots of barely-there acne on two cherub cheeks.

you shake your head and dump your books on your lap. there's no point in this. it's a risk you've taken from the first day when you'd decided to hide from him instead of coming out as your true self. who knows, perhaps he wouldn't have rejected your friendship so blatantly then? instead, you try to sleep. maybe that'll help you feel refreshed.

but oh, you're not even left relieved in your sweet sleep. a single scene keeps replaying in your head as soon as you shut your eyes.

it was the first time you were in a live gaming party with voice unmuted. wonwoo, two of his friends, and two other friends from the common gaming server, smera and roy. he'd convinced you to switch on your mic because it was just friends who you trusted anyway. well, that was just the first mistake.

the second mistake had been, of course, to get comfortable enough with all of them to agree to play that silly truth and dare game. and then one thing had led to another, and a little bit of prodding from smera had ended up with you confessing that if there was anyone in this group who you'd kiss, it'd be wonwoo. if the mortification of that wasn't bad enough, smera had gone ahead and said that she'd even lowkey expected it. and within moments everyone else had forgotten your confession- it was as if they didn't even know how hard it had been to admit it- when rob confessed that he really want to kiss mingyu right now and the group started cheering.

the third mistake, and the worst one, had been staying on call with wonwoo after the party was over. "so you'd kiss me, huh?" he'd asked softly, his voice laced with a grin, as you'd blushed and thanked god he couldn't see you right now in your embarrassed live wire state. "among the others, yes. i don't know the others as well as i know you!" you'd rushed to explain, hoping your voice wasn't quivering as fast as your heartbeat. and then wonwoo had gone silent for a very long time, before saying, "and what if we knew each other outside this world, y/n? would you kiss me then?"

and then you hadn't been able to reply. you'd frozen in your spot, until wonwoo's shy laugh could be heard and he'd resumed the game.

you don't know if you could still reply today. perhaps it's the secret you'll hang for.

your excuse only lasts so long and eventually it's wednesday and you make your way out of bed. you've mentally lectured yourself enough times to know all the different things wonwoo might have to say to you and you've armed responses for most of them (although you think you're going to end up running away in almost all of them, forgetting your practiced response in the spur of the moment). your first class in mathematics, and you decide to arrive just a few minutes late so as to avoid any chance of conversation with wonwoo before class.

"oh y/n, you're finally here." your legs falter as you appear at the door of the classroom and find your teacher looking you straight in the eye. "sorry i'm late, ma'am!" "it's okay. i'd thought you'd be absent again." "i wasn't feeling well, ma'am, i'd mailed-" "yes yes i know," she nods her head impatiently. "it's good you came today. you'll have to start tutoring wonwoo from today itself. mid-terms are in two weeks, and i want his level to improve by then." "i thought seori...?" "seori isn't professional enough, from what wonwoo's told me."

it's only at this point that you realise that there's another pair of eyes focused on you in a piercing gaze. you know who it is, and you try your best to avert your glance.

not professional? you wonder what that may mean.

"fix up a timing for the sessions, and please don't disappoint me, y/n." she says the last bit with a pleading tone in her voice, and you wince. "alright, ma'am."

all through the class, there's only one thing playing in your mind on loop. you. wonwoo. in the tutoring room. alone. for the next two weeks. fix up a timing for the sessions. don't disappoint me. your lower lip wobbles and you can feel the tears inching in your eyes slowly. expectations. disappointment. aren't you just a disappointment to everyone? to your parents. to your teachers. to yourself.

even to wonwoo.

if you hadn't kept your head down for the entirety of the class, gazing at the sight outside the window, your attention completely unfocused from class, you would've noticed a figure turning to look at you whenever the teacher has her back to the class. but you don't notice him, so you don't realise his eyes fixed on you when you make a dash out of class as soon as the teacher leaves the classroom. you want to escape the inevitable for just another day- defer it, rather. you know it's going to be torture when wonwoo finally accosts you. as you make your way to a corner in the school, a secluded spot near the roof, where you've never seen anyone else going except yourself, a flurry of thoughts float in your head. all thoughts that should ideally deter you from running away. but you do it nonetheless, because you can't think straight. you feel the tangible cloud of these worries clog your throat as you hide in your favourite hideout corner and cover your face with your hands as you feel the fresh wind blow onto your heated skin.

he's going to hate you more now because you're delaying the academic help he deserves, simply because of your stupid nerves.

he's likely going to complain against you to the teachers, how you've taken academic responsibilities casually, and mar your good academic record and rapport with teachers. fuck, that's a further lower chance of getting the LORs you need.

he's also likely going to talk about what a creepy stalker you truly are in your mutual gaming circles, and you'll be ousted from the one safe space, your hobby, the one place where you've felt unjudged, the only place you can be yourself.

fuck. fuck. f-

"how long are you going to hide from me, princess?"

you freeze on spot. the voice is unmistakable, it's haunted your dreams long enough. you can feel a warmth in your periphery and you know he's right behind you. the hair on the back of your neck rise up into goosebumps and you know you've been caught.

you turn around slowly, your eyes fixed to the ground. you see wonwoo's sparkling white sneakers standing close to yours, and in the silence of this secluded spot, you can hear his breathing, slow and steady, completely contrasting your own shallow, frenzied breathing.

"i d- don't kn-know what you're t-talking a-about." you stutter through every word, your skin burning up with the keen awareness of wonwoo catching you red-handed.

"so that's how it going to be?" you can see his toes edge slightly forward, as if he's rocking in his shoes. and then you start to feel slightly less tensed. you start to focus on the tone he's using- it's not particularly menacing. in fact, it's not angry at all. which is surprising because-

"are you mad at me, princess?"

this time you look up, and you're hit with the force of wonwoo's beautiful eyes looking straight at you from barely any distance. with his height, he's easily towering over you, his glasses making his gaze more stern... and yet the way he's looking at you, it's so... soft? how odd that he's asking you if you're mad at him, when truly, it's quite the opposite.

"i sh-should be asking y-you that."

"me?" he tilts his head to one side in query, eyebrows furrowing. "i could never be mad at you."

your voice quivers as you speak the next words, "but you now know who i am."

"and?"

"that's why you're avoiding me!"

"that's true." you take a step back at his words. "so you do admit it, wonwoo?"

"i do. if you're referring to my lack of communication in this last few days, then it is true. i won't blame it on any excuse except my own conscious behaviour."

god. he's going to just say it like that. straightforward. no roundabouts. no sugarcoating. perhaps it's better like that. will save you the pain of hope after the heartbreak.

you look straight into wonwoo's eyes. "i get it, wonwoo. i've disappointed you. and you regret ever making friends with you. because i'm not popular, nor smart, nor attractive. you know how you'd wished if we could ever meet in real life? the truth is, now you're glad you didn't follow along that plan, otherwise you'd regret it terribly."

"i do regret it." he lifts his hand to brush your bangs out of your eyes. you almost jerk at his touch, but it's too gentle. when it gently wisps along your cheek, it feels... almost familiar. how cruel of him to do this before he's going to reject you outright. how cruel of him to give you a taste of heaven before leaving you heartbroken.

"why are you doing this, wonwoo? can't you leave me alone?"

his hand frames your cheek, cupping it barely, and you want to lean into his touch. when his cold palm slowly begins getting warmer through your touch, he speaks again. "i regret not meeting you sooner, princess. or rather, y/n. i regret not following up on that, y/n, because that way you'd never think such mean things about yourself. not just are you being mean to yourself, but also you're being mean to me!"

"to you?" your eyes grow wide, and a small smile plays on wonwoo's lips. "yes. you're not giving me a chance to explain myself. i'm sorry for disappearing on you after my birthday." he pauses, and you just raise your eyebrows, waiting for the explanation he's so desperate to give.

"yes, well. dumb move on my part. but then- i didn't know how to react after you sent that character to me!"

"how did you know it was me?"

"the mail id?"

"yes. damn, yes. i knew it."

he chuckles, "but i knew that you were princess long before that." "you did?" "seungcheol's sister goes to this school, you know? she'd recognised your voice immediately." you gasp at his words, "but you're still not letting me finish."

you take a step back, suddenly reeled back to reality. you try to move your face away from his hands, and his left hand drops from your cheeks, only to grab on to your wrist even as you step away. "i was stupid. i didn't know if you sending me the gift was... just friendly or something more. and just because i feel something more doesn't mean you will reciprocate it."

"what do you mean?" your voice is softer now, glazed with curiosity.

"the reason why i disappeared on you was because i needed time to think my way through with how i wanted to approach this with you. and convincing our math teacher to get you, her favourite student, to tutor me was the easiest way out ever." there's another chuckle, but your mind is spinning.

"approach what with me? wonwoo?"

he takes another step towards you, his hand slipping lower than your wrist and holding your palm now, inches away from locking his fingers around yours.

"i like you, y/n. don't you know that already?"

your mind whirls again, and you blink for a few seconds. "what?!" he blinks back at you, equally shocked. "i thought it was obvious, y/n. do you think i play games with any girl every night? share every life update with any girl every night? can't go to sleep without hearing the voice of any girl every night?"

"won-wonwoo..."

"so tell me now, please. spare me the heartbreak and tell me why you sent me that gift."

it feels surreal, but wonwoo's racing pulse against your fingers makes you realise that he's real. this is real. this is happening. wonwoo likes you.

"of course i like you wonwoo. i even told you i'd kiss you. wasn't that a giveaway enough?"

"you said that because i was the only one you'd kiss in a room full of other friends... but it didn't mean anything!" he's quick to protest, and your heart melts. maybe wonwoo is shier than you'd thought. so you take a step closer to him, and link your fingers into his finally. "well now you know what it means."

three bunked classes later, you and wonwoo make your way back to the main classroom area of the school. the rush of adrenaline in your body is insane right now, because you're holding hands with wonwoo. with wonwoo! you don't think you can believe it, so you keep looking down at your hands to make sure its real.

"i wish i'd met you before y/n. i was so desperate to know you more! it was so obvious," wonwoo's low giggles are music to your ears as he leans in to whisper his sweet words. "i thought that's why you kept running away from me." his hand slips out of your lock, and around your waist, pulling you in gently. you gasp at his move, and look around quickly to see if anyone's looking. but thankfully, there's no one in the corridors right now, so you let his hand remain there.

"i kept hiding because i was worried how you'd react on knowing the real me, won." "but i knew the real you already. sight isn't our only sense, you know." "yes, but i'm not-" "i don't care what you're not. there's so many things i'm not. and yet, you say that you like me. so what matters is you and me, don't you think?" you turn your head up to look at him, blushing at the fond look in his soft eyes. you want to hug him, pull him towards you and never let him go. but you settle for leaning closer into his body for now.

"i was promised a tutoring session, you know." he says slowly, as you realise you're both walking towards the isolated tutoring room of the school. it's empty right now, because it's still class hours. "do you want to be tutored now?" you raise your eyebrows, concerned at his wish to break out of this precious moment you're having and instead study. "i want to be in the tutoring room right now. there are no cctvs, see." you spin around to quickly check, blushing at the way he's whispering into your ear. but before you can turn back to him and reply, you feel a wet peck on your cheek, and your body bursts into flames.

jeon wonwoo just kissed you.

"wonwoo!"

"what? did you not like it?" he whispers, slightly alarmed.

"no! just! warn a girl before you do things like this, you know." you try to hide your blush furiously, but fail, as he wraps you into his embrace. "there are no other girls to warn. only you. and i don't need to warn you. because now you know i do things like this." and he leans in again, and before you realise, he's left a kiss on your nose. your heart races as you avert your gaze, and you're both erupting into giggles. "you're really a menace, jeon wonwoo." he cups your face with his hands, looking right into your eyes.

"and you're my princess, y/n."

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amourdivine · 9 months ago

Text

𝐖𝐇𝐎'𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐇𝐀𝐃𝐎𝐖 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐅? ઉ PICK A CARD

Hello lovelies, I hope you're having a wonderful week! This is perhaps the first heavily shadow work focused PAC I bring to you. I'm quite nervous to post this, since I know delivering these messages can be difficult and I don't like taking a harsh, judgmental approach. I hope this reading resonates. As always, feedback is highly appreciated! If you liked this reading, please consider tipping me at @ [email protected]! xo ♡

paid readings are closed as of february 2024

none of the images are mine unless stated otherwise!

pick a card masterlist & information

how to choose your pile. take a few deep breaths for and look at each and of the piles separately. see which one brings you to a feeling, a place or a memory. take your time and feel free to come back to it later!

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

୨୧ PILE ONE

who is your shadow self? eight of swords • knight of cups • nine of wands • queen of wands

Your shadow self is the fearful side of you attached to anxiety. The side of you that does not believe you can save yourself from bad situations and feels endlessly hopeless, helpless and trapped. It causes a self-fulfilling prophecy, one where you think you'll inevitably fail, so you self-sabotage (either consciously or not) and end up "proving" yourself right.

However, as helpless as your shadow feels, it never asks for help. It's trapped in a spiral of shame and self-doubt, even self-hatred. All of this happens mentally for most of you, to the point where your body is neglected or stuck in flight / freeze mode. I feel stuck in the gutter, unable to move in the sticky mud. Despite your best efforts to succeed, you may suffer from impostor's syndrome as well, an inability to see your worth, your beauty and your own light. It's almost as if you're scared of your own power, pile one. Very painful, very self-inflicted and something which you may have learn from childhood, maybe you got bullied a lot or were heavily criticized by the people around you. If that happened, I'm so sorry pile one. You deserved so much better. You still do.

how can you work with your shadow self? nine of cups • the sun • queen of swords • queen of wands

You know, when I was entering college, I had a counselor whose words were life changing to me. One day, he picked up a cup full of coffee and asked me: how do you get rid of the coffee, without throwing it out entirely? And I was puzzled. It wasn't possible. Him, in his neverending patience, took me to the water station and started pouring water onto it, until the coffee was cleared away and all that remained was clean, crystal liquid.

Maybe the bad things that happened still haunt you, but they can be drawn out by the good ones. Seek for the light, pile one. Seek the nurturing experiences, the days when you allow yourself to just be, seek the help, the love and stay open to the love. Stay open to the idea that yes, you are worthy, even if you do not feel like it, even if so many people have made you feel otherwise.

These wounds may not fade entirely with time, but you are more than them, always. Always. I know it's never easy to challenge what we've been taught about ourselves, but in order to unlearn all of that, you will have to learn the new things, the true things about you. If they said you were lazy - was that really true? Or were you just tired? You're not "naive", you're pure. You're not "too sensitive", you're in tune with your emotions.

The stories we tell ourselves hold power. What stories are you telling about yourself? Maybe it's time to switch to a new point of view, one where you can rewrite yourself as the person you were never allowed to be.

୨୧ PILE TWO

who is your shadow self? judgement • five of swords • ten of cups • king of wands

Your shadow self is the side of you that thrives in chaos - listen, that's not entirely a bad thing, after all, our shadow reflects something which we need to acknowledge, nurture and work with. However, when you perceive danger or feel threatened, you may turn to harsh words or hurtful actions to avenge yourself.

It can manifest in the form of extreme competitive behavior, the inability to rest, overworking, even maybe envy, jealousy and arrogance sometimes. Now, I'm not here to judge or shame you, you're safe here. I think you have and still feel the need to prove yourself to others, to prove them all wrong. Maybe other people told you that you couldn't do it - and you took it all personally, so personally that it crumbles your self-esteem when someone diminishes your efforts or accomplishments.

Your shadow side craves attention, praise and approval. You want to succeed, to be someone you're proud of, to just never feel insecure, diminished or ignored again. You can also turn possessive with loved ones, wondering if they really love you or if they are lying. There's a lot of skepticism here, too.

how can you work with your shadow self? judgement • ace of pentacles • three of pentacles • eight of swords

Acknowledge your feelings and these insecurities. "Fake it 'till you make it" doesn't always work. Being vulnerable is, ironically, also being strong. Understanding your limitations and allowing for other people to collaborate with you (and vice-versa) will take you even further in life.

Your sense of justice is commendable. Make sure you're using it for justice indeed, and not just vengeance. Your ambition can walk hand in hand with your desire to do good, to make space for everyone else to shine, to open up to others, let them see all of you. No one can love perfection - even if they could, what's there to love about something or someone so perfect that they barely feel human?

It's okay to be scared, to feel insecure, to not shove difficult emotions under the rug. We cannot be at our 100% all the time. And we cannot please everyone, all the time. What you can do is praise yourself, let others praise you when they do and accept it gracefully, making sure you're spreading your warmth and wisdom to others as well. See, I think you have overcome a lot and a lot of people could use your help, either in the form of advice, resources or a shoulder to lean on.

You have leadership potential, pile two. Don't limit yourself by being alone. We were never meant to make it on our own.

୨୧ PILE THREE

who is your shadow self? ace of wands • page of swords • three of cups • king of pentacles

Your shadow self is someone who may indulge in harmful habits out of a need for instant gratification, maybe reckless spending, speed driving, partying everyday or simply not saving up resources and caring about the future. Your shadow self is someone who hates boredom, who craves excitement and cannot fully deal with long-term commitment in its many forms. It wants novelty, adventure and it comes at the cost of your responsibilities, your routine and your friendships even.

This shadow self hates suffering (fair enough, who doesn't?!) and will to go great lengths to avoid it... but ironically, it causes you more pain in the long run by avoiding the unavoidable. By never crying, never addressing your issues or your difficult moments, you end up running right back into yourself and these same issues return.

This side of you doesn't want to grow up - you don't want to fall into the trap of routine and a boring, 9-5 job. But excessive habits are difficult to maintain, no matter how good it feels in the short term. There's a difficult, troubled perception of adulthood and life itself. A need for constant adventure and chaos, a feeling of entrapment whenever you are with anyone who loves you, because you fear being controlled, tamed and used.

how can you work with your shadow self? the tower • nine of wands • nine of cups • three of pentacles

To put it simply, let yourself hurt. Let the foundations of your heart crumble, stop to feel just for a second. You don't have to be on the run all the time. What are you running from, pile three? Disaster, pain and hurt are often inevitable, but they do not have to be the be-all, end-all of our lives. The Tower is a reminder that all that crumbles was meant to crumble eventually, and there is beauty in letting things end naturally, allowing the flow of life to do its thing.

That means aging, growing, learning from the seasons. I think you have a very, very deep heart and mind you're scared to tap into. You're scared to be trapped in the endless hustle, to never feel alive or good once you "settle". But who says the big joys are the only ones that matter? As someone said once, big joys and small joys are often the same. Sometimes, waking up in itself can be an adventure. Don't overlook or underestimate the ways life tries to find you, to cling to you - remember to embark on the hard journeys, knowing you'll have gotten something valuable in the end.

You're brave and rebellious. You can be a catalyst for change in so many ways. Who said adulthood has to be boring? Who said you have to work a 9-5? Do you have to get married? Maybe being a stay-at-home parent isn't for you. That's okay.

Challenging the status quo may not be easy, but you have a natural inclination for it. Your shadow self can dive deeper. It's one of your greatest tools. Your need for joy and fun is not shameful - you can use it for healing, instead of self-destruction.

୨୧ PILE FOUR

who is your shadow self? judgment rx • justice • the high priestess rx • knight of swords

Your shadow self is the side of you that refuses to acknowledge your needs, your wants and desires. It makes you live inside of a bubble, scared of the truth, even if it will set you free. I had the hardest time shuffling for this pile, I kept trying and trying but nothing made sense. I think this is how your shadow side manifests as well, in the lack of clarity, the fogginess that permeates the choices you've regretted.

It's both reckless and frozen, completely lost in a maze, confused, looking for a path, for directions, for anything. It's almost as if you lost your compass, nothing eventually guides you and you remain looking for the directions only you have.

It's too scared to admit what it wants, who you are. Both out of fear of what other people will say, but also out of fear that it'll all go wrong. It's the side of you that remains disconnected from yourself, hidden because it keeps highlighting the aspects you keep trying to ignore, to not know. It can manifest in a lot of ways, either through people-pleasing or being completely reckless. Through lying, denial or even isolation from the world, from life itself.

Something funny is that a song by Bad Suns that just started playing really relates to this pile. "Cinderella slips into a dream like a curse / you could mistake it for heaven at first." This shadow self may live in projection, daydreaming or simply keep you out of touch with everything.

how can you work with your shadow self? six of pentacles • page of wands • two of wands • king of cups

Engagement and socializing are big ways you can work with your shadow self. Being actively curious about the world, about people. Approaching relationships, truths and life itself with genuine interest, no judgement or shaming thoughts involved.

Telling yourself you're an eternal student of this world, because we are and remembering you don't have to know everything. Start scared. Most things, you'll have to do it scared. Unprepared. In the thick of it all, you'll find the answers you need, but only if you are willing to dive deep for them. No taking shortcuts, making assumptions or allowing self-doubt to paralyze your living, because you need to witness life as it is.

Therapy is one big thing, music as well. Anything that connects you to your deepest self, relationships that genuinely make room for who you are, good friends that feel safe and non-judgemental. Your heart has been calling you for so long, pile four. It's about time you listen to it. It knows everything you need to know.

disclaimer. tarot not a substitute for medical and professional advice, nor is it meant to be taken as such. i do not take responsibility for any choice(s) made by you or others regarding my readings. please remember you are responsible for life and in power of it, no one else! ♡

amourdivine. 2021 - 2024 © do not copy, redistribute or edit my content.

#pick a card #tarotblr #tarot reading #pick a card reading #tarot #pac reading #astrology #witchblr #tarot witch #pagan #mine.

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ktownshizzle · 3 months ago

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Wild & Free (Teaser)

Min Yoongi x Reader

Summary: Everybody says they want to marry Min Yoongi. But what if he only wants to say 'yes' to you.

Alternatively: While on the last leg of their PTD tour, Yoongi discovers there was such a thing as drive-thru weddings in Vegas, something that his pretty little brain can't seem to process having lived the last decade of every second of his life being planned by his management team, which includes you. When he goes down a rabbit hole of Youtube videos about The Little White Chapel (Omo! Michael Jordan got married there!), he starts getting all sorts of ideas - all of it starring him and you.

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Eventual Smut, Childhood friends to lovers, Idol!au, Coworkers to lovers (reader is a HYBE employee)

Notes: What can I say? We got all the tropes in this bad boy, because I don’t know when I can write again, so let’s put everything in this sucker and call it a day! This is canon-ish. I included some real-life events during this period, but it may or may not be loosely rearranged to fit the narrative - just go with it. Ginger Yoongi, because this is the LOOK I don’t give a damn what haters say. I have not written in a decade and this is me attempting to pick things back up, I hope you like it xo

BTW, the teaser scene is inspired by that leaked video of the BTS tour crew’s private party in Vegas. It’s here if you want to see it. Enjoy! xo

Read the teaser under the cut!

!!!! Edit: Read Part 1 here !!!!

P.S. Leave a comment to be part of the taglist 🙂

***

"Yoongi, marry me!" You shout at the top of your lungs, earning laughs from the people around you. On the other side of the room, a couple of other people shout the same catchphrase, including Taehyung, who seems to get the most kick out of it out of all the members.

Coerced to do one of those Tik Tok dance challenges, Yoongi stands in front of the room, hides his face behind his hands and you watch in delight as he awkwardly sways his hips side to side. More cheers erupt and two seconds after he decides he was done.

"Hajimaaaa!" Your friend says to no one and everyone, cheeks burning as he stalks back to the chair he was occupying across yours.

You push his beer bottle towards him, "Good job, gramps."

"Fuck off," he says with no real bite, taking a long swig off his drink to cool off his reddened cheeks.

It's great to finally get some down time with the crew. After such a fast-paced, high production tour, everybody needed to blow off some steam. This Korean BBQ restaurant off the Strip was the perfect venue to get the team together for samgyupsal and drinks. The vibes were, as the kids say, immaculate.

You are already sufficiently buzzed so you sit down as Seokjin takes his turn to do the challenge. He really seems to be more into it than the man currently giving you a look.

"I heard you." He narrows his eyes at you, a small smile playing on his lips.

"What? It's the new viral catchphrase," you shrugged. "Everybody and their grandma is saying it these days."

"Not their grandma."

"You should be flattered."

Stop, you thought he would say. But his response catches you off guard.

"Only ‘cause you said it."

And he has the audacity to lick his bottom lip, a ghost of a smirk forming.

Fuck. Your throat dries up. When did it get so hot here?

“And in case you were wondering…” he leans forward, a dopey-ass grin now on his face. “The answer is yes.”

***

WHAT DO WE THINK? Join the taglist by leaving a comment so I can let you know when this story drops.

Tag: @jajabro @yooglefics

#myg x reader #yoongi x reader #yoongi x y/n #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #myg #gingeryoongi #bts x reader #yoongi fanfic #bts fanfic #myg x y/n

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p0orbaby · 2 months ago

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i would love something from the “Spark Enough and Something Catches” universe 🥹 was so happy for R allowing herself to be more vulnerable, would love to know how those two cuties are doing further down the line!

You never thought you’d end up here—dating a world-famous footballer with legs for days and a laugh that makes your chest feel weird, but here you are, sitting at your kitchen table, staring at a bouquet of flowers she sent you. Just because she can. Of course, they’re perfectly arranged, like something out of a magazine that you’d flip through absentmindedly in a dentist’s office, all pastels and thoughtful greenery. You wouldn’t even be surprised if the florist’s apprentice cried while tying the ribbon, overwhelmed by the sheer beauty of their creation.

The card attached? “Hope these brighten your day, even if you don’t like football. xo, A.”

You’ve been staring at it for about 15 minutes, wondering if this is what people in normal, functional relationships do. Get flowers. Smile. Maybe cry a little, but the good kind. You’d text a thank you, but you’ve already said thanks for the dinner last night, the ride home, and her cooking, which honestly made you feel inadequate. You are now 90% sure you’ve been overthanking her for everything and it’s becoming suspicious. God, the flowers. What are you supposed to do with these? You don’t even own a proper vase.

She’s always surprising you, though. It’s her thing. Like when she made pancakes at 3 a.m. because you mentioned offhand you were craving something sweet, and there she was in your kitchen, half-asleep but determined, whisking batter like her life depended on it. You tried to help, but she gave you that look—half-amused, half-“don’t you dare”—so you just sat and watched. How does someone like her, so capable and graceful on the field, manage to make something as simple as cooking pancakes seem like a scene from a romantic comedy?

And then there’s you, a certified mess, who can barely manage to keep the houseplants alive. You once killed a succulent, a plant specifically designed to withstand neglect, and you still don’t know how it happened. But she didn’t care about that. She just laughed when you told her, like she found it charming. Like that was somehow endearing instead of a flashing neon sign that you have no business being trusted with anything living.

The first time she came over to your place, she brought dinner—because, of course, she did—and you remember her standing in your tiny kitchen, eyeing the pile of dishes in the sink. You were mortified, but she just rolled up her sleeves and started washing them. “I can’t concentrate with these staring at me,” she said, and that was that. It took you five whole minutes to figure out how to process that. What kind of person does that? And why does she keep looking at you like you’re the most interesting thing in the room, when you’re 99% sure you’re the human equivalent of a cat that’s just fallen off the sofa?

You get the feeling she knows what she’s doing, though. She’s patient. Calculated. Like on the field, but now the game’s you, and she’s just waiting for you to realize you’re already cornered. She’s not wrong. You’re screwed.

So, you text her, finally, trying to play it cool. “Thanks for the flowers, very thoughtful. You didn’t have to.”

Her reply is almost immediate. “I know I didn’t have to. I wanted to”

You stare at the message. Of course she did.

#alexia putellas #alexia putellas x reader #woso #woso x reader

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inklore · 4 months ago

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if it's one thing your girl is great at it's making a million different google docs full of lists full of resources, ideas, etc that will help future me when it comes to posting fics.

fic titles are literally one of the biggest lists i have and not even in a perfect world where i write ten fics a day would i ever be able to use all of these, and i don't like to see things go to waste, and i know there's people out there that struggle with titles as much as i do. so i hope this list comes in handy for someone!

i don't think i need to say this but just in case: no one owns fic titles, anyone can use these, a dozen people or one or none. these are literally just words and letters. no one owns them. sharing is caring, enjoy lovies!

★ — ONE WORD.

overboard

runaway

repercussions

sledgehammer

stargazing

symmetry

deathless

honey

retrograde

stitches

gravity

helpline

hollow

suffer

pushing

warrant

want

wonder

emotions

nonchalant

lavender

daydream

nosebleed

jigsaw

static

float

limbs

hologram

careless

lush

rotting

phonograph

hypnotic

splinters

magnetic

wasted

lithium

dealer

she

candles

sabotage

secrets

better

crescendo

deny

phenomenon

nights

guilty

move

criminal

blue

rise

thirsty

strangers

clockwork

closer

hectic

change

somebody

misery

sour

lowkey

peaches

she

nervous

sympathy

scars

disappear

melody

gemini

cruel

persona

supernatural

nectar

obsessed

casual

tryant

dare

honestly

yummy

out

paradise

nuts

groin

heaven

lost

stardust

tangerine

monolith

lunch

pov

perfume

dealer

tough

arson

★ — TWO WORDS.

hush hush

night away

heart stop

stone heart

waiting for

black rose

sad kids

spine breaker

look here

autumn leaves

for you

spring day

love maze

bad decisions

take two

wild flower

blue side

rainy days

face off

slow dancing

polar night

like crazy

club heaven

deeper water

romantic devil

hold me

angel eyes

picture you

after midnight

twilight zone

drain me

sorry sorry

pretty please

how sweet

bubble gum

empty box

love therapy

play me

red velvet

cherry bullet

midnight guest

cherry wish

code words

ghost walk

bad intentions

atlas hands

broken crown

crystallized words

filthy pride

fresh eyes

heavy feet

hungry ghosts

imaginary paintings

neon jungle

perfect storm

slow hands

stop signs

sad farewells

untranslated stars

after hours

bad liar

bonfire heart

bruised lips

cherry bomb

damaged goods

dead end

fire away

gunpowder hourglass

lonely together

lost language

old moons

one dance

paper knees

sleepy eyes

stolen dance

vice city

artificial heart

cry baby

daylight fading

dream awake

empty bottle

exit wounds

ghost orchards

moving stones

paper walls

oceans away

playing fiction

something wild

wild thoughts

everybody’s fool

eyes closed

storms incarnate

writing tragedies

stereo driver

soul searching

party’s over

backseat driving

fearful heart

backwards directions

nosebleed seats

high hopes

lovers rock

wet dream

selfish soul

washed away

rose rogue

midnight sun

teenage fantasy

wandering romance

sure thing

wildest dreams

rock candy

losing momentum

ruin you

heart holiday

sink her

cut splinters

hot mess

frozen devotion

little star

blind faith

favorite crime

romantic homicide

those eyes

play pretend

plot line

pretty poison

intimidate you

pretty face

strawberry kisses

lovers rock

worlds apart

desperate/separate ways

those eyes

the blonde

loving machine

spill blood

someone’s someone

★ — THREE WORDS.

got my number

happy without me

not over you

crazy for you

back to you

flame of love

just one day

let me know

hold me tight

make it right

closer than this

love me again

still with you

out of love

never let go

love in space

ready to bleed

bleed for love

between the bars

can’t be still

cold morning mist

in cold blood

matter of time

piece by piece

ship to wreck

taut with love

waste a moment

can’t see straight

down and out

in a blackout

just like fire

notes on tenderness

across the room

fire with fire

going half-mad

loving to ruins

rust to gold

send my love

talking in code

cradling a dream

cut to black

dear to me

run me dry

dancing with demons

kiss and tell

if you care

the cry out

steal this night

just for now

heart on fire

hold my head

nobody but you

simple and plain

a familiar sound

fool for you

drown your memory

falling into you

just like heaven

warm like beaches

love that stings

rotting in places

moves on you

save your tears

a single tear

light my cigarette

long nights, daydreams

boys like you

love me forever

hands on me

like a phonograph

taking over me

dug so deep

touch the ground

heart shaped box

where’s my love

tears of gold

lover of mine

love me wrong

kiss or kill

exes and why’s

love is easy

stupid in love

easy to love

lost with you

glimpse of us

keep you safe

death with dignity

just like heaven

heart of glass

baby i’m yours

pull my strings

★ — FOUR+ WORDS.

love me a little

happy without me

you can't hold my heart

wishing on a star

give it to me

around the world in a day

waste it on me

this mess is yours

feeling like i do

on a war path

blood on the surface

corner of the sky

do the divine love

drinking the corinthian sun

everything is laced in (add word)

lost in the moment

in the nick of time

mouth like a pomegranate

the bones you’re made of

when the mania speaks

all desire & no thought

blue in the face

collapsing and relapsing

middle of the night

sail to the sun

lay down your arms

falling into the sky

take me where your heart is

she’s like the bad weather

kill for your love

the cigarette and the smoker

the match and the fuse

saint, i’m a sinner

when the sky comes falling

pretty little hand in mine

even when the sun don’t shine

staring at the sun / sunset

tangled up with you all night

paper airplanes flying

maybe i’m a fool

tastes like rock candy

blood in a lemon

(a) heart ready to die

fate is losing its patience

at least we feel alive

death for your secrets

someone’s gonna ruin you

dancing in a crowded room

smell you on my clothes

always taste like you

leave me wanting more

hunger for (insert here)

swim before you drown

put your hands on me

drink my (these) tears and cry

i’d sleep all day just to dream of you

so high we never stood a chance

i’d break down anytime for you

maybe i’m wrong, or maybe it’s true

i only breathe so that i breathe with you

a worn out cassette

lips on my cold neck

talking in my sleep

make me feel like someone else

locked inside your heart

hooked on her flesh

it’s bloody and raw

the angel of small death

just a couple sinners

smiles cover your heart

charmer and the snake

stuck on your thumb

if i killed someone for you

dancing with your ghost

i miss you, i’m sorry

woman of the hour

shut up and look pretty

queen of the night

devil in a dress

the thought of you

to be your lover

falling over you

just like a movie

love on the line

#also no one has to give me credit like pls steal these and use them lol #fic titles #fic help #fic resources #story help #fic reference #tips and tricks #story titles #titles #if there’s double words or titles on here ignore that i’m too lazy to read through everything lol

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heeseungiez · 3 months ago

Text

RESOLUTION 2) not be a virgin anymore...

pairings! sim jake x fem!reader; mentions of heeseung x reader

synopsis! sim jake has always liked you, but as heeseung’s best friend, he felt weird trying to talk to you. now, with the rules around you loosening, jake refuses to miss his chance to win you over.

content warnings! smut (mdni! 18+), swearing, blowjob, loss of virginity and other smut things but it’s pretty mild

word count! ~8.4k

taglist! OPEN! send an ask to be added!

a/n! i did my best… i hope you guys like it

masterlist | next

Good morning, Decelis!

What’s up with you guys? Things have been really boring these days.

XO, Miss Decelis

You wanted to kill Lee Heeseung.

It had been a month since your shared moment at the party, but you were still dealing with the aftermath, having to wear turtlenecks or bother with makeup to cover the hickeys he gave you. You hated it. The reminder of what you had done and with whom. You hated the way he would smirk upon seeing you in class, in the hallways, or whenever you ran into each other at the hotel — you weren’t even safe at the place that should be your home.

Lee Heeseung was everywhere, as far as you were concerned. You were convinced that not only could he find you anywhere if he wanted to, but he could appear from behind a corner at any moment simply to taunt you with his presence. He didn’t even need to speak to annoy you.

This — whatever game the two of you were playing — was far worse than when he did everything in his power to annoy you. Because now, all you could think about was how it would feel to actually lose your virginity to him. You wondered if it would have happened at the party, had you not been interrupted.

You scoffed when Heeseung sat down in class in front of you. You could see the lopsided grin on his lips through the back of his head. But neither of you said a word to each other. Because, despite everything, Heeseung was still keeping his reputation of a careless asshole who ignored you at school (you were the only person noticing the subtle actions that revealed he was doing the very opposite).

On the other hand, when Sim Jake walked past you to join Heeseung at the same desk, he didn’t do so before shooting you a huge grin and saying: “Hello, Y/N. How are you doing today?”

Within the group of Heeseung, Jay and Jake, the latter was the only one who didn’t blatantly disregard you before last summer. He always made time for small talk with you, approaching you at random events whenever he noticed you were alone. He was nice, in your opinion. His only downside was the fact that his best friends were Heeseung and Jay, really. Layla, his dog, almost made up for that fault in his character though.

“Hey,” you responded with a thin-lipped smile, incapable of resisting the boyish charm that Sim Jake embodied. “I’m good. Just tired.”

“Oh yeah. Assignments have been pretty killer lately,” Jake agreed, running a hand through his hair. Heeseung glanced between the two of you, squinting his eyes. “There’s a project I gotta finish for physics, and it’s been the worst. Like, I love the subject but, jeez, Mr Kang is totally doing his best to make me hate it.”

“Maybe you’d do better if you didn’t spend all your time talking about holes.” Heeseung’s innuendo was not lost on either of you, but Jake was fairly unbothered by it, shaking his friend off with a roll of his eyes.

“Maybe if you weren’t so ignorant, you’d know black holes are one of the most fascinating topics in physics,” Jake said matter-of-factly. “So excuse me if I’d rather have a presentation on that.”

You couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped your lips at seeing Jake so bothered over physics. He might not look like it with his never-faltering flirtatious smile and those big puppy eyes, but there was clearly a nerdy side to the boy that you had never known about before. You liked this about him — you liked this change in him of finally approaching you more freely, too.

Jake’s eyes were fixated on you, drinking in your soft laugh and your new appearance.

See, Sim Jake always thought that you were pretty. Even when Heeseung and Jay seemed unimpressed, he always stopped to appreciate you. He just wasn’t sure how exactly to act around you when his friends’ feelings toward you were much different than his. But lately, they stopped complaining about every little thing you did (frankly, Jake thought they were obsessed with you and in denial since middle school). To Jake, that meant he could finally talk to you without the fear of being overly judged by his closest friends. Even now, when he spoke to you, Heeseung didn’t look as disapproving as he would’ve last year. He just minded his business on his phone aside from the few snide remarks.

“I think I’ll miss out on that one,” you said with a slight shake of your head.

It wasn’t a secret that you were not a fan of anything natural science related. Maths was your limit. Your preference lied within humanities, like sociology and psychology. The reasoning behind it was perhaps far too obvious, but you liked to pretend that you simply enjoyed learning about human behaviours, and why people acted the way they did.

Like with Jake, who had always been a bit apprehensive around you, especially when Heeseung and Jay were around. But Heeseung didn’t care anymore (if that’s what you could call it), and so Jake felt at ease speaking to you casually because he was abstained from judgement.

“That’s fine. We don’t really need to talk to have fun.” The suggestive tone made your brow raise, and when you glanced at Heeseung, the boy tensely gripped his pen. Turning his head to look at Jake, he narrowed his eyes.

From your point of view, it could be interpreted in many different ways, but you knew Heeseung could not possibly be jealous of Jake’s harmless flirting with you. It was a warning nevertheless, though, to leave you alone. Jake only understood the part where it was a warning, however, fearing that he might get an earful about it later.

He sat down, still glancing at you with another shiny smile of his, and you returned it.

“Good morning, class,” the C1 English teacher, Miss Crawford, entered the class with a stack of worksheets and files in her arms. The class stood to greet her with a bow, and she motioned for them to sit down with a smile. “Let us not dally, shall we?” she asked, giving the stack of sheets to the students closest to her to pass them on. “Each of you should keep one. Look at it, and while you do, I will prepare the instructions on the board.”

The sheet didn’t have much on it, when you got one of your own. It was mostly blank aside from the few topics on top. You recognised them as conversation topics from the textbook you got for this class.

“For the next hour, the task at hand is fairly simple,” Miss Crawford began speaking once the board was lit up with her simple presentation. “As you all know, speaking is one of the many parts of the C1 level English exams to acquire a certificate, and for today, we will focus on exactly that. Talking about a specific topic and the flow of conversation between two people. In C1 level exams, it isn’t only important to be fluent and have expansive vocabulary on your own. The reason behind the speaking exams being in pairs is to test the speaker’s ability to stop themselves from talking and give the other person the room to speak as well by asking follow-up questions.

“For that reason, I have paired all of you up on my own rather than letting you converse in pairs of your own choosing. It is better to test your abilities with someone you aren’t entirely comfortable with to help your sociability and further your chances at scoring full points in conversation.”

Miss Crawford shuffled through her papers to find the sheet that contained the pairs she assigned. The first person she looked at was you, gracing you with a smile. “I also took into account your English skills as a whole to make balanced pairs for today’s lesson. So the first pair would be Miss Y/N and Mr Sim,” she announced.

Jake turned to you instantly, sporting the look of an excited puppy. No one else mattered after that, except for Jake who moved to sit down next to you.

You barely registered it when Miss Crawford spoke again with more information. “By the end of the class, I hope you’ll get more comfortable with each other, as at the end of the term, I am going to conduct a speaking exam of my own to see if you’re making progress. For that reason, pairings are subject to change, however, I do want you and your initial partners to continue working together on other projects for the remainder of this term. That is why I cared about the balance in each pair, to make sure neither would end up doing all the work.”

The glance at Heeseung was obvious and, in your opinion, quite scathing. You enjoyed watching him squirm with the tiniest bit of guilt in his expression under Miss Crawford’s gaze. His partner for the project was Kim Seungmin, and you actually couldn’t believe how well acquainted the teacher was with all of your English skills. There had to be so much work outside of school going into all this planning. Not to mention, if anything, Kim Seungmin would never let anything slide, let alone having to do an entire project for Heeseung. He was the type of guy to rather have them both fail.

Jake, although listening to everything that was said, kept staring at you and your beautiful features. The way your hair framed your face. A few strands of hair kept falling into your eyes and he wanted to push it away. Something about this new you was so irresistibly alluring to him that all he could think about was how it would feel to kiss your red-stained lips.

If he had the tiniest bit of a crush on you in the past, then it’s come back tenfold now. He wanted to test how much of you has truly changed. Whether you would accept him now despite being nothing like his other friends. He wasn’t like Heeseung or Jay, the careless kings of the school, and neither was he like Sunghoon, the hot scholarship kid who could figure skate.

Jake was just Jake. The guy who had a whole room dedicated to his collection of expensive Lego and his powerful PC setup to play video games.

Sure, he had hooked up with girls in the past — he was just a guy, after all — but he didn’t want you to be one of those girls. He knew that if he was going to have you, it would have to be something more. He would cherish you and make sure that you were never hurt again (a promise he can’t really keep).

And he’d fuck you so good.

“Let’s start then.” You turned toward Jake to fully face him with a smile on your face. “All of these topics are absolutely ass, but at least they’re standardised.” You spoke, oblivious to the thoughts running through Jake’s mind.

Perhaps for now, it was better that way.

Working on a presentation with Jake was the easiest thing in the world. This was genuinely the first time you took a class and didn’t end up doing all the work on your own because you were the ‘perfect princess’ and ‘teacher’s pet’ who cared about a good grade. And even if your groups did some of the work, it was the worst, least effort possible, type of contribution known to man. So when Jake kept hitting you with ideas about what you could do in your presentation, what could be said, adding more pages to your research, you couldn’t help the incessant need to just plant your lips on his to show your appreciation.

And a part of you thought: you could do exactly that. The library was empty enough with the two of you being among the last students still bothering to stay there. Besides, you noticed the way Jake looked at you. In a way, it was more innocent than whenever you caught Heeseung staring at you, but you knew that the thoughts were all the same.

“I’m tired,” Jake whined, leaning back in his chair to stretch his arms and legs on the seat. “My fingers hurt. Let’s take a short break,” he said, catching the soft smile on your lips.

“We could just go home, Jake,” you pointed out, tapping the screen of your phone to show him the time as if you both didn’t have your laptops open for research.

“I don’t feel like going home yet, though.” Jake licked his lips, shaking his head.

“You like spending time with me that much, huh?” You grinned teasingly, but the genuine look on Jake’s face momentarily shut you up.

“Kinda, yeah,” he replied, tilting his head to the side. “Being with the other guys is still the same thing over and over again. You know how annoying it is whenever they start complaining about their sex lives?” Jake shook his head, running a hand through his hair. “Like, I’m not against having a good fuck but they act like they don’t hit it at least once a week.”

“TMI, Jakey,” you said, raising a brow at him. But then something occurred to you, and you wanted to know more. “They complain? What exactly about?”

“Well, Heeseung’s been pretty frustrated lately because, apparently, there’s a girl he wants but she doesn’t want him.” Jake shrugged, completely unaware of what information he was giving you.

You had to suppress your smirk at the thought of Lee Heeseung possibly being frustrated over you. Though his sex life had hardly been boring since the party because Miss Decelis has been diligently reporting on all of his spotted escapades, which included him not-so-discreetly getting out of an empty classroom with some girl from senior year recently.

“Interesting,” you hummed.

“Jay’s been getting shit since fucking a MILF, so yeah…” Jake continued with a shake of his head. “Says all the girls at school are too soft for him, whatever the fuck that means.”

“We both know what that means,” you said, narrowing your eyes at Jake, and he rolled his eyes.

“I’d rather not.”

“Fair.” You nodded, leaning on your elbow as you stared at Jake. “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Have you hooked up with someone recently?” you asked, biting your lip. His eyes moved from your eyes to your lips, and then back up with a gulp.

The way Jake’s cheeks instantly heated up was adorable. He was far from innocent (Miss Decelis knowledge), but he was easily taken off guard, and you liked to take advantage of it.

“Pretty sure it’d be Miss Decelis hot news if I did,” he said.

“Not everyone is caught, Jake,” you pointed out with a lazy smile, moving closer. You doing the flirting was perhaps the most unlikely thing in the world, but you liked discovering this new side of yourself.

“Most of the time, they are,” Jake spoke sagely.

“But we don’t have to be,” you said confidently, leaning in close enough to feel his breath fanning over your cheeks. “I know a well hidden spot in the library,” you added, not divulging further (the only reason you had the secret spot was to hide, back in the days).

“Y/N—” Jake wasn’t sure how to react. On one hand, he absolutely wanted this. But on the other, he was confused as to why. His goal was to possibly make you fall in love with him and this was most certainly not a part of the plan. Not yet, anyway.

You mistook the confusion in his eyes for rejection. Pulling away from him, you pressed your lips into a thin line, cringing in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I suppose you don’t—”

You didn’t finish the sentence with Jake pulling at your wrist to make your lips collide with his. Yours melded into his perfectly, his tongue sliding over your bottom lip in a silent question for permission, and you granted it eagerly, enjoying the heat that consumed your insides as Jake kissed you with fervour.

He had a dream like this once. Actually, he wasn’t sure if he wasn’t dreaming now, having fallen asleep after all the work you two had been doing.

But then you pulled away from Jake, eyes glassy with lust, and you tugged at his hand innocently, like you two were in kindergarten and you wanted to show him the new toy you got for your birthday. Except when Jake let you lead him away from your table, it was to your secret spot. A place entirely covered by shelves with books at the back of the library — the part of it that nobody ever visited unless they were desperate.

You pushed him against the closest wall, planting your lips on Jake’s again, and he reciprocated it gratefully, his fingers tangling in your soft hair. His dick was already hard for you, and you had barely done anything. It was obvious when you leaned into him, and there was something you wanted to try.

Jake whimpered when your lips left his, and his eyes grew wide when you dropped to your knees without warning, undoing the belt of his trousers. “Y/N, what are you—”

You stopped your action mid-pulling his pants down to look up at him. “Jake, if you don’t want this—”

“No, no, no, no, I want this. Of course, I want this, I’ve always wanted this.” He shook his head, breathless and in disbelief over your figure kneeling in front of him.

“Always? That’s a strong word,” you said, a smirk plastered on your lips. But you were curious. So when you pulled down Jake’s trousers and boxers, letting his dick out, you stopped to stare. Mind you, you’ve never seen a dick up close before. This was your first time, and his was majestic. “Define always, Jakey.” You licked your lips at the precum on his tip and kept yourself from leaning in to kiss it.

“Since I met you.” With the air hitting his length, he was growing impatient. He wanted your warm mouth wrapped around it as soon as possible, but you were obviously not going to indulge him until your curiosity was satiated. “I always thought you were cute when we were kids. And then we started high school, and you were beautiful. Remember that time I didn’t approach you at all and you thought Heeseung and Jay got to me? Yeah, I was just scared of talking to you… and then… I mean now… you’re—”

“Hot?” Your brow lifted, and Jake nodded, breathless.

“More than that. You’re ethereal, Y/N.”

“Damn, you really want this.” You giggled, but nothing stopped you from finally kissing Jake’s tip, listening to the pornographic moan that left his mouth at the slightest contact with your tongue. It urged you further, wrapping your mouth around him fully to test the waters and how well he fit in your mouth.

He tasted delicious.

This had to be Jake’s weakest moment. You barely touched him, and he already wanted to cum. But he knew the sight of you with your mouth full of his cum would make for a memory that would last him a lifetime.

You were testing yourself and your limits as you pushed his dick deeper into your throat until you could barely breathe, tears welling in your eyes. But it wasn’t enough, your hands would still have to do the rest. This was a learning experience for you, so after having a few more tastes of Jake, you pulled away to look up at him properly. To see his ruined expression as he still fought the confusion within him with pleasure.

“If I do anything wrong, please tell me,” you whispered, your hand moving to take Jake’s length, stroking a few times. “I’ve never done this before. So let me know, okay?”

Jake could barely speak as his eyes latched onto you, but he nodded regardless. He wanted to say you weren’t doing anything wrong nor were you going to. And he whimpered when he could feel the warmth of your mouth around him again. Though this time, you also incorporated your hand, moving in the same rhythm as your mouth to take care of whatever was too much for you.

“Oh, fuck, yes, Y/N,” Jake breathed out the longer you went on, saliva coating his dick and your fingers. He dug his nails into your hair, but didn’t push, letting you move freely. You didn’t even need him to tell you anything. “You’re perfect,” he managed between moans as he felt the tip of his dick hitting the back of your throat.

His hips moved along with you, and Jake wanted to hold out for as long as possible to make the most of his pleasure and whatever the hell was going on right now.

Your free hand began playing with his balls, and that started to be too much for him. When you palmed him, he wanted to scream your name for the whole library to hear him, but he couldn’t do that. “I’m close, Y/N, holy fuck, just let me—” He wanted to finish outside your mouth just in case, but you didn’t let him go, staring up at him while your lips were still wrapped around his cock, going up and down.

There was silence as Jake interpreted your look. That you wanted to take him, taste all of him. And when he did cum, he had to bite his lip hard to contain himself while you swallowed every bit of his essence, having the most innocent look on your face while he pumped into you to ride out his high.

You concluded doing this was fun. You liked it. You loved the sounds that left Jake’s mouth, trying to be fairly quiet, and you loved the taste of him.

You didn’t expect Jake to drop down to his knees just to capture your lips with his again, tasting himself on your tongue. He cupped both your cheeks, pulling you as close to him as possible.

“I want you so bad, Y/N,” he whispered against your skin, his lips peppering your face with kisses. He went from your lips to your nose, your eyes, your cheeks, your chin and down, to your neck which (thank god) no longer had the marks of your encounter with Heeseung. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

“You could show me, ah,” you moaned when Jake latched onto an especially sensitive spot, sucking on the skin.

“Not here, though,” Jake said, looking around. As stated before, your spot was hidden well, but the last thing Jake wanted to do right now was to debauch you in a corner of a library. No, for what he wanted to do, he needed a bed. “Let’s go to my house when my parents aren’t there.”

“And when will that be?” You grabbed at Jake’s T-shirt when his lips returned to yours.

“I’ll text you,” Jake replied in between kisses. You smiled.

Why hadn’t you thought of this before? Sim Jake was the most perfect of all the perfect candidates you could have to lose your virginity to.

Heeseung wasn’t stupid.

He saw the lingering glances between you and Jake every time you were in the room. He knew something happened between the two of you, and he did not like the idea of it, whatever it was. It was on purpose, when he said: “Anyone know what Y/N’s been up to lately?”

“No. Why?” Jay’s response was immediate, glaring at Heeseung. “Why do you even care?”

“It was just a question, dude. Miss Decelis is shit ass at reporting about her aside from that one vid of her with Yeonjun,” he said, shrugging. That memory still infuriated him.

“Dude, as far as we know, she’s still a virgin and it might be better for her to keep it that way.” Jay shook his head. He cringed at the mention of the local gossip, as she had recently been viciously attacking Jay’s character and pride for the past month.

Heeseung nodded, glancing in Jake’s direction. He was chewing on his bottom lip in thought, but if there was anything that action told Heeseung, it was that Jake had not slept with you.

Good.

“There’s no reason for you to care anyway.” Sunghoon raised a brow at him. “Unless you’re secretly in love with her or something.”

“Piss off.” Heeseung scoffed, rolling his eyes. He wasn’t in love with you. He just… thought of you often. And the night he almost had you if the other guys didn’t appear. In his mind, he was convinced that he could fuck thoughts of you out of his system (except none of those girls were you and he was acutely aware of that). It also led to way too many posts about him on Miss Decelis.

“See, I don’t get why you guys don’t like her so much. She’s nice.” Sunghoon shrugged.

“You’re also obliged to say that because your whole figure skating career is sponsored by her dad’s money,” Jay noted matter-of-factly. It was how you and Sunghoon knew each other even before he got into the Academy on a scholarship (upon a recommendation from your father).

Sunghoon made a face, sticking his tongue out at him. “Cry about it.”

“Why should I? You’re the one suffering,” Jay replied, but the insult to your person was half-hearted, an automatic response.

Neither Heeseung nor Jay were as opposed to you as before. It was a pointless fight regardless as it would be two on two. Though Jake hadn’t said a word yet. Instead, the boy’s focus was on his phone as he feverishly typed his heart away.

Heeseung glared at Jake in hopes of getting his attention, but the blond was too far in his own world, grinning at the screen like a maniac.

You.

He was texting you, Heeseung was more than sure of it, and he had half a mind to snatch the phone from Jake’s hands to (1) see what you two were talking about and (2) to block all your contacts from Jake’s accounts to make sure you couldn’t reach him. Because no sane man would smile so brightly at his phone over some stupid texts.

You had Jake wrapped around your little finger, and Heeseung didn’t know how to stop it from happening. You didn’t necessarily ignore Heeseung, but you definitely didn’t like him, and you really did not care about him pretending that he barely knew you. Not like you did before.

This version of you was so fucking annoying. Even more than before. Because not only could he not get you out of his head, but he knew his friends — and not only them — were all thinking the same. No matter how much Jay pretended, Heeseung noticed the way Jay would usually look around classrooms to make sure you were there and unharmed with a gentleness in his eye that was entirely uncharacteristic of him.

Heeseung could see the way Sunghoon’s eyes kept travelling to you, wanting to talk to you, but not finding the courage or the right words.

As for himself, Heeseung had a hard time dropping the image he had built over the years, so approaching you at school would make people talk, and at home, you wouldn’t even look his way despite visiting his family’s penthouse to see Jeonghyeon or whenever you two ran into each other in the building.

But Jake… it came naturally to him — talking to you. He had been talking to you since middle school, albeit trying to hide it from Heeseung and Jay. They knew anyway.

What was Heeseung going to do about you?

There used to be a time in your life when all you ever wished for was to be invisible. But you don’t anymore. Not when being visible meant people seeing you talk to Choi Yeonjun..

“So, you do know that Heeseung’s, like, obsessed with you, right?” Yeonjun questioned with a raised brow. “I’ve been hearing people talk, and someone said he threatened a guy for talking about you.”

“He’s just being an asshole,” you said plainly, rolling your eyes. “Something about hating the sound of my name around the corridors since he already hears it enough at home or whatever it was he used to say.”

“Nah.” Yeonjun shook his head with a smirk. “See, I know I was out of it but I do remember us almost fucking so excuse me if I do believe Heeseung was jealous,” the boy’s tone was so casual it made you chuckle. It did bring back the memories of Heeseung’s fingers inside you, though, so you shifted on your feet to keep your attention on Yeonjun.

“Okay. So maybe he was jealous. But it was really none of his business. You yourself called him the guy who’s been ignoring me my whole life.” You crossed your arms, pressing your lips in a thin line.

“Yeah but that’s usually what idiots like him do when they’re scared they might actually start liking you.” Yeonjun shrugged. “But anyway, to further prove my point—” he threw his arms up in the air, making several wild gestures to make sure his statement was emphasised enough— “Whoever that dude was, apparently he talked about dicking you down or some shit, and Heeseung didn’t like that.”

“Obviously he wouldn’t,” you said and shook your head. “We grew up together. He doesn’t want to hear stuff like that.”

“You gotta trust me on this, darling. Bro’s jealous as fuck.” Yeonjun nodded vigorously. “My intuition about these things is never wrong. Trust.”

“I think he’d have stopped Jake from talking to me by now if that was the case,” you thought out loud. You may have not lost your virginity just yet, but that didn’t mean you and Jake didn’t find moments alone where you would practise your skill with giving head, or him showing you how adept he was with his mouth and his fingers.

You never realised it was that good to have your pussy eaten out. Jake was always ready to devour you whole, pushing his tongue into you as deep as he was physically capable before using his fingers to satisfy you. And all of this just because he found out you were a virgin and wanted to make sure your first time would be meaningful.

“Oh, it’s like that, huh?” Yeonjun chuckled, wiggling his brows suggestively. “I’m kinda hurt you didn’t ask me.”

You slapped Yeonjun’s shoulder. “I’m booked and busy, I fear. Next time.”

“I’ll hold you to that, darling.”

Good morning, Decelis!

I’ve been hearing rumours about Lee Heeseung threatening people over Y/N? What’s all this fuss about? Care to explain yourself, big guy?

XO, Miss Decelis

The video of Heeseung holding a boy’s collar, having pushed him against a wall should not have been so surprising to you. But it was hard to comprehend it. Heeseung had never been a violent type of guy. Usually, he would just have someone else do it for him. But the fact that it was over you?

Unthinkable.

One thing was to hear about it from Yeonjun, another was seeing it with your own two eyes, filmed and posted on social media.

“I called it! Your cousin is totally into our little Y/N,” Ning sang, holding onto her phone with the tweet open and playing while she looked at Jeonghyeon victoriously. “Always knew it…”

“That’s his problem.” Jeonghyeon rolled his eyes, bumping your shoulder with his. “He made sure to completely ruin his chances.”

“At least he’s hot, you know.” Ning shrugged. “It’s the genes or something,” she mumbled, watching Jeonghyeon smile at you, a single dimple adorning his cheeks.

“How are things with Jake going anyway?” he asked you.

“Dude,” you began, putting both your hands on the table for the dramatics. “He’s taking cooking classes for me. He said, and I quote ‘I want to make you dinner when you come over’ and I’ve been losing my mind over it since.”

“Holy shit, it’s that serious for him?” Jeonghyeon’s brow rose.

“Oh my gosh, dude’s in love with you already.” Ning giggled, excited for you. “He was really just holding it in this whole time huh?”

“To be fair, they always had a weird obsession with Y/N,” Jeonghyeon said matter-of-factly. “Even when they were being haters.”

“Jake never was,” you pointed out.

“Neither is Sunghoon,” Ning remarked. “He can’t hate her anyway. For reasons.” She shrugged, and you threw her a nasty eye.

“Obviously I’m only talking about Heeseung and Jay.” Jeonghyeon let out a frustrated sigh, glancing between you and Ning.

“That was not obvious at all,” Ning said.

“Yeah. What she said.”

“I— whatever.” Jeonghyeon ran a hand through his hair.

“Hey guys, what are you talking about?” Jake appeared at your side, sitting down on the bench that you were already sharing with Jeonghyeon. Smiling up at you, he nudged you with his shoulder.

“Oh, you know, the regular stuff,” Ning said, waving her hand. “Heeseung and Jay’s unhealthy obsession with Y/N and all that.” She did not care about who she was talking to in the slightest, grinning when she saw Jake’s discomfited look.

“What?” Jake tilted his head, and Ning raised her arms in defence.

“Don’t kill the messenger, please, Jeonghyeon brought it up first.”

Jeonghyeon glared at her. “I’m just saying that I’ve heard the two of them speak about Y/N more often than is necessary for two people who dislike her. That’s all,” he explained, having first-hand experience from living with Heeseung.

Jake blinked slowly before nodding. “I get what you mean,” he agreed, pursing his lips. “Remember when you first introduced Sunghoon to us?” The blond turned to you, waiting for your nod to continue speaking. “Heeseung and Jay literally pulled up a whole set of rules regarding you and how to act around you.”

“Huh?” You, Jeonghyeon and Ning chorused. None of you knew that.

“He didn’t go along with it, though. Sunghoon.” Jake clicked his tongue and shook his head. “But anyways, that’s not why I came here, actually. I wanted to ask if you wanna join me in the library to look over something I’ve been working on.” Looking at you expectantly, there wasn’t much for you to do but to say yes.

You thought it was code for a makeout session, but it turned out that Jake genuinely wanted to show you something.

“Look! I learned how to make cookies,” he spoke excitedly, showing you the box full of chocolate chip cookies with the largest grin on his lips, proud of himself and his creation. It looked and smelled delicious. “Give it a try, please. I’m still figuring out what to make for our day together this weekend.”

The warmth in your chest was an unexpected intruder, but you couldn’t stop the swelling in your heart caused by Jake’s sweetness. It made you even more angry with Heeseung about missing out on all this simply because Jake had a hard time defying the slightly older guys.

So you picked one and bit into it without hesitation, humming when the sweet taste hit your tongue, the cookie practically melting in your mouth. “Oh wow, holy shit, it’s so good,” you said, taking another bite.

Jake’s cheeks reddened, his smile growing. He tried to drive away his thoughts from wondering whether you would have a similar reaction to his cock inside of you. Totally inappropriate thoughts to have while he was trying to be wholesome. “I had some help from my friend Felix, though. I’m really glad you like them.”

“I don’t just like them, Jake. I love them. Holy fuck, I could eat these forever.” You were already reaching for another cookie, which made Jake laugh softly at how adorable you looked.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, and you giggled, finishing a bite of his homemade cookies.

“Yes, of course,” you replied, leaning in.

It completely slipped your mind that you were not at your secret place in the library, but a very public part of it.

Good morning, Decelis! I’m officially not bored anymore.

We have Lee Heeseung fighting guys for stepping out of line when speaking about Y/N, and now this? Sim Jake, one of Heeseung’s best friends, was spotted kissing her in the library! Scandalous.

I love it.

XO, Miss Decelis

Sim Jake liked to think he was a confident guy. But suddenly, he couldn’t stop sweating. He had to constantly wipe his hands on his sweatpants when he prepared the table for you, and he worried that you might not like what he cooked. Though the meal was simple. He made ramen with grilled pork belly and a spicy sauce to go along with it because you had mentioned liking it when food had a little kick to it. So he made a sauce by mixing gochujang, soy sauce, gochugaru, a bit of sugar and lemon juice.

Even after two whole cooking lessons from a chef his parents liked, Jake still felt a little lost. But! The kitchen did not burn down, so he deemed it a huge success.

He wanted this day to be perfect for you.

He wasn’t sure why he cared so much, but he just abhorred the idea of you losing your virginity in some random person’s bedroom at a party, or even in the library or an empty classroom where sitting atop a table or a drawer or a bookshelf wasn’t entirely comfortable. Maybe after your first time, but not now.

You deserved better.

When you arrived, your dress was not casual. It was a satin slip-on that entirely revealed your back and wrapped around your neck with a thin strap to hold the fabric over your breasts. You weren’t wearing a bra, and your nipples were visible through the thin fabric, already making Jake wish he could wrap his lips around them.

He didn’t even have enough space in his mind to think about the fact he was severely underdressed in his grey sweatpants and white T-shirt. You didn’t care, though, because all you saw was Jake’s pretty face and your surroundings — the house he grew up in.

It was very light and nowhere near the minimalistic bullshit your parents liked to pull. Instead, the walls of the hallway were lined in photo frames. Pictures of Jake, of his dog Layla, his childhood drawings as well as diplomas from competitions he had won before. It was basically Jake’s hall of fame.

“Please, just ignore it. Let’s go to the kitchen,” Jake said, biting his lip. “My parents are gone for the weekend, and Layla should be napping outside at the moment, so the house is all ours.”

“Sounds good.” You smiled, anticipation coursing through your whole body.

This was it. The big day.

With Sim Jake, who you were starting to care about more than you thought you would. But, figuratively speaking, despite your recent descent into the darkness, you were inexplicably drawn to his light.

He led you to the dining room which had the whole table set up for two with candles and a flower vase in the middle, a pot of ramen and a plate with grilled pork belly to be shared between you.

“Jake, this is—”

“I know it might seem a bit excessive, but I really want this to be special for you,” the blond said, running a hand through his hair while chewing on his bottom lip. You grabbed his hand in yours and smiled brightly.

“It’s stunning, Jake. Thank you for all this,” you said, squeezing his hand. “I’m sure it’s going to be really good as well.”

Jake nodded. He pulled out a chair for you to sit on before seating himself next to you, and neither of you hesitated to dig into the food. As hungry as you were, the empty feeling in your stomach was not due to the lack of food in it.

Watching Jake grab the first piece of pork belly and dip it in the red sauce, you did not expect him to offer it to you, but your eyes softened and you accepted the piece into your mouth. The meat was crispy on the outside and soft on the inside, and the sauce had a spicy kick to it with sweetness and a citrusy taste spreading on your tongue. You hummed, closing your eyes to savour the taste.

It was almost unreal. This whole scene of you and Jake eating and talking casually, knowing what was to come. He was such a good cook it drove you insane. And you’d eaten at the best rated restaurants in the country before.

“Thank you, Jake,” you said after the meal was over, and without thinking much about your next actions, you planted your lips onto his, wrapping your arms around his neck, tangling your fingers in his hair.

He kissed you back eagerly, his tongue tracing your bottom lip before biting on it, drawing a whimper out of you. You let him take the lead, putting his hands on your waist to bring you closer. Your whole body felt warm under his touch. His hands slid down your body to your bare thighs, and then underneath your dress to harshly grasp your ass. You gasped in surprise, and Jake smirked into the kiss, pulling away from you.

“Let’s go to my bedroom,” he whispered into your ear, his voice a low groan, and the heat that pooled from your stomach to your crotch was nearly unbearable. Jake chuckled when you kept shifting in place in hopes of getting some friction.

What you didn’t expect was Jake lifting you up to carry you bridal style. You yelped, your eyes wide. “What are you doing?”

“Taking care of you, obviously,” he said nonchalantly, and you dared not fight him as he walked towards his bedroom, wherever it was because your mouth latched onto his neck, sucking on the soft skin. You enjoyed the little moans that left his mouth alongside his heavy breaths because he was clearly struggling by the end of the journey.

He never dropped you, though. Not until the only thing you could fall on was his overly expensive mattress with him on top of you. Jake didn’t stay away for long, already ridding himself of his T-shirt to straddle your lap.

He leant down to kiss you, and your hands automatically began roaming the plane of his flat stomach. He had to be working out, at least the tiniest bit. But those thoughts did not matter when Jake’s hands slid under your dress to firmly grip your thighs as he kissed his way down your body. He bit one of your nipples through the dress, and you let out a shaky moan, your hands holding onto any part of Jake.

You wanted to feel his mouth on your bare skin, but he had yet to let you take the dress off. Instead, he hooked his fingers on your lace panties and ripped them off without a single care in the world. (It was your favourite Victoria’s Secret piece.) “I’ll get you new ones, I promise,” he murmured when he looked up at you with his deep brown eyes.

He lifted your dress to reveal your pussy, his mouth latching onto the skin on the inside of your thighs, biting and sucking to tease you, knowing you wanted his lips somewhere else. But there was a devilish glint in his eye as he slowly progressed to the main course. His gaze never left yours, and you gripped the sheets of his bed tightly, preparing yourself for what was to come.

“Just say the magic words, baby, and you can have it all,” he said, sensing your anticipation and the oncoming frustration.

“Please, Jake,” you whispered.

It was enough for his hot mouth to finally come in contact with your wet cunt, his tongue slowly circling your clit. You moaned, a wave of pleasure coursing through you, and Jake hummed at your taste, enjoying every little bit of it, sucking it in.

The sounds that left your pretty mouth were worth more than stars in the sky and enough to make Jake absolutely hard. He enjoyed the sweet taste of you as he tongue-fucked you, keeping your thighs apart to heighten every bit of pleasure you were getting out of this. Your back arched against his mouth, and he kept eating like a man starved, convinced that he would never get tired of you. Of this feeling of your pussy against his mouth, his fingers.

He waited so long to finally know what it would feel like to take you. But he had to make sure everything would be proper for you. That your first time would be so unforgettable he would ruin every other man for you. All of this was his selfish quest to have you for himself only.

And he knew half of his job was done when you came into his mouth, screaming his name and gripping his sheets. For now, he was the only man who knew what this was like. What it felt like to have you scream their name and fall apart for them.

He went in for a kiss afterward, which you reciprocated, tasting yourself. Smiling, he was already reaching into his drawer to pull out a single condom, to make this a safe experience for you. And you let him pull away from you to sit down at the edge of the bed.

It gave you an opportunity to finally take off the dress that was beginning to suffocate you, watching Jake shuffle out of his sweatpants, his cock springing out, looking as beautiful as ever. And you’d finally feel it inside you.

You never saw a man put a condom on before. Your gaze was a bit too intense, but Jake wasn’t bothered by it, grinning at you instead once he was done, noticing that your dress was off. His lips fell apart and his eyes widened as he drank in your bare figure and boobs. You were unreal. Perfect. And waiting for him.

You laid back down on the bed, your head hitting the satin pillows, and you invited Jake in with a soft smile, wiggling your index finger to beckon him over.

You didn’t have to ask twice before he was on top of you again, his eyes never leaving yours. “Make me yours, Jake,” you said, and he thought he might not be able to handle you after all. You bit your lip and moved your hands to his cock, to guide him to your heat as if it was his first time and not yours.

He hated how big of an effect you truly had on him. But he listened, he agreed. He wanted you to be his. So badly.

So he finally made the first push inside you, watching your face the entire time. You chewed on your lip as he slowly went deeper, holding in his own moan at your tightness. You felt so good around him. He could stay like this forever. But this wasn’t about him, and he kept checking on you.

“Is this okay?” Jake asked once his entire cock was buried inside of you, waiting for your body to adjust to him. You only managed to nod, your body moving closer to him. Placing his hands on your hips, he set a slow pace at first.

You whimpered, gripping onto his shoulders with enough strength for your nails to leave dents, but Jake didn’t mind.

Your brain was hazy from the slow movements. The pleasure was incomparable, tinged with the tiniest bit of pain as Jake’s dick moved in and out of your pussy. But the more comfortable it became for you, the less satisfied you were. “Jake,” you said in between moans, bringing his upper body closer to you. “Faster, please.”

It was a command that brought out something in Jake. Hearing you ask him to go faster did something to his brain chemistry, doing exactly what you asked for. His pace quickened, his pelvis hitting your clit relentlessly. It drove you insane how good it felt to have Jake inside of you, to share this moment with him.

A cacophony of skin against skin mixed with your moans echoed through the room. Jake couldn’t stop looking at you, examining every little change in your expression for any kind of discomfort when his movements became harsher, but the pleasure blinding you and your senses was far too intense for you to think of anything else. “You’re taking it like a good girl,” Jake murmured against the skin of your shoulder, and he almost lost his mind when your walls clenched around his dick.

“I think— god, Jake,” you cried out as he continued to repetitively hit the right spot. You clung onto his body like a leech. “I’m— I’m close.”

Jake’s pace remained the same, but he added his thumb, circling your clit to help your release, which came not long after, with you chanting Jake’s name like a spell meant to entrap him with you forever.

He cummed after a few more thrusts with your cunt so deliciously tight around him from the orgasm you were riding off. He planted his lips on yours when it happened, flipping the two of you over so you could be on top of him.

He wanted to sear the sight into his mind, your hair sticking to your sweat-covered face, messy from the pillows, and your lips swollen from how much you bit them.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” Jake let his orgasm-clouded brain run his mouth, and you smiled at him so brightly that it made him think the whole room lit up. But it was just you, really. And the fact that Jake was incredibly fucked up in the head because his heart could not stop beating in his ears.

And this was just the beginning.

Good morning, Decelis! A little birdie has shared something very interesting with me recently. Something that involves a certain princess and our resident Mr. Can’t-Live-A-Day-Without-Getting-My-Dick-Wet.

Oh yes, you’re reading that right. It seems that someone has spotted Y/N with Lee Heeseung doing some filthy things in the back of a car. How cute.

I wonder how old that photo is?

XO, Miss Decelis

tags! @strxwbloody @starsenha @mitmit01 @chaconadine

#enhypen #enhypen fic #enhypen x reader #enhypen ff #enhypen x you #jake sim x reader #jake sim x you #jake sim fic #jake sim fluff #heeseung x reader #haia writes #enhypen fluff

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nevernonline · 11 months ago

Text

✧.* he's not into you; hvc

synopsis: curious what the problem is in your dating life where you just can’t seem to get guys to commit fully to you beyond a second date, your work associate offers his help.

part of my ninety minute movies one shot series. ♡︎

paring: vernon x fem! reader.

genre: co-workers2friends2lovers (? lmao)

warning/s: mentions of substances (alcohol, weed, cig, vape etc.) swearing, very bad jokes!, sexy time (y/n has female genitalia!) pls no minors!!

word count: 6.3k

content: . non-idol idolings, some other svt members. y/n and vernon work at a bar.

note: our next stop in my fav little movie inspired writings is he's just not that into you!! a true classic in my eyes. and who better to be our male lead than bernon himself, a perfect silly goofy man. i acc tried to edit and be good?? for once.. lmao. love u xo. HAPPY NEW YEAR.

Waltzing around your co-workers behind the bar like a choreographed dance, handing out drinks to some of your familiar customers, soaking cherries in alcohol, and stuffing your tips inside of your folder for the night it was a perfect distraction from the thoughts running through your mind about that awful date you had gone on the night before.

You were convincing yourself all the guys you’ve been out with just weren’t for you, maybe to make yourself feel better, maybe just to put blame on someone else for the reasons you can’t seem to surpass a second date.

“Y/N, could I get two vodka martinis. One dirty and one with a twist, twice shaken please.”

“No problem, Som.”

Somi was one of your co-workers and someone you’ve become close friends with working with her over the course of a year when the bar first opened. standing by your side on the busiest night of the week, the other was Vernon, he was slightly newer and unfamiliar standing next to you behind the bar, girls flirting with him left, right and center hoping to crack open his quiet yet charming exterior.

Taking orders upon orders your body was craving a moment to yourself, being an introvert and working in a high volume environment with the type of company that spends hundreds of dollars a night just to sit at a table and feel important takes a toll on you.

“Vernon, would you be cool if I stepped outside for a second?”

“Yeah, no problem. I’m good.”

“Alright, thanks I’ll be back in five.”

“Sounds good.”

Nothing more than his simple answers, for the most all you know about him is he’s your age, in college not sure what major he could possibly be studying, and he lives decently close to the bar, coming in on his days off with groups of his friends to have a drink of his own made at your own hands.

Stepping outside the employee entrance into the back of the building, feeling the cool air light up your body, you decided to light up something of your own, a small perfectly rolled cigarette wrapped up in its signature strawberry flavored paper and vanilla tobacco inside.

Three minutes into your first break of the night, the door slid open revealing the quiet boy standing in its frame.

“Shit. I’m sorry, I actually need your help. A big group of finance dudes came in.”

“It’s alright, I’ll save it for later.”

Dipping the pastel candy like cigarette into the ashtray, basically kissing it and saying you’ll see it soon, you stepped back in with Vernon to your front strolling through the back room full of fresh liquor bottles.

“This is a weird question. But what were you smoking? It smells good. Actually, normally cigarettes make me nauseous as hell.”

“Oh. It’s a vanilla tobacco, but my rolling papers are strawberry so it’s kind of sweeter that way.”

“No wonder. I always thought you smelt like vanilla musk, but I knew it was something different. I just assumed it was perfume. I like it.”

“Thanks, Vern.”

“Yeah. Want to take the table? Or wait for them to come up to us?”

“I’ll go.”

“Alright.”

Cutting around the marble countertop, trying to avoid the patrons sitting at the end of the bar. You spot the group of men wearing their fancy suit jackets, and various colors of button down tops. One of them in particular was your date from a few weeks ago. The one who left you a post it note on your nightstand to wake up to basically telling you he wouldn’t call but thanks for the fuck.

Swilling your pride, you stayed walking towards them, now with the pretty smile usually wiped across your face lost and turned into a closed lip grin.

“Hey, what can I get for you guys?”

“I’ll take you with a side of bourbon on the rocks please.”

“Clever. I’m not on the menu. Anything for you.”

Your fingers pointed towards the rest of the helm just patiently waiting for more unusual comments and weird flirting tactics.

Your date though, kept his head buried in his menu, avoiding making eye contact with you out of his own embarrassment making you decide to fuck with him a little in front of his annoying crowd of friends.

“And anything for you, Chris? Jack Daniels and Coke with a splash of cherry I presume? Or are you going to write your order down on a post it note?”

His crowd erupted in laughter, clearly aware of his tactics when he leaves girls and decides to not call them back.

He muttered back it was fine as you walked off back to Vernon watching on with a smirk on his face.

“You know him I assume?”

“Unfortunately I do.”

“Can I ask how?”

You contemplated telling him a lie, just something simple like he was an old friend or an ex-boyfriend, but in order to keep him from opening up to you, you chose the real reason.

“Actually we went out a few weeks ago. In the morning I woke up to a note taped to my pillow saying how he wasn’t interested in seeing me anymore but thanking me for being a good fuck and being so accommodating and sexy.”

“No fucking way.”

“I’m not kidding.”

“Want me to spit in his drink?”

“Yes. But I don’t want you to lose your job. It’s alright, not the first time for me unfortunately and actually maybe one of the nicer ones.”

“Not the first time a dude you’ve fucked wrote you a note saying he’s not into you?”

“There’s been worse believe it or not.”

“You’ve piqued my interest.”

“I’m sure.”

“How do you meet dudes like that?”

“I’m a lucky girl, now do me a favor and take these drinks to them, because if I do I’ll probably say some shit I’ll regret.”

“Alright. What’s his name?”

“Who?”

“Asshole over there.”

“Chris”

“Cool. Thanks.”

“Vernon why?”

“No reason, keep working.”

“Don’t do anything stupid.”

“My whole vibe is stupid, be back in a second.”

Watching the boy out of the corner of your eye, you watched as he placed everyone’s drinks for them, reaching Christopher last, pretending to trip over his chair, spilling the alcoholic concoction over his pants.

“Dude what the fuck?”

“Oh shit, my bad. Let me get you a new one.”

“Why the fuck are you so clumsy, how am I going to get a girl here when I look like I pissed myself?”

“The girls that come in here don’t want some bitch who drinks cherry whiskey and Coke, they like real men. But I’ll be back in a second.”

“What the fuck did you just say?”

“You heard me, man. One second alright I’ll be back with your bitch drink.”

Chris’s friends seem to be enjoying watching his night being turned into a shit storm, assuming they maybe don’t enjoy his company much either.

“Why did you do that?”

“He seems like a tool, he’ll be fine.”

“Well thank you. It was funny, I had to hold my laughter in so he doesn’t think I made you do that for me.”

“Safe bet.”

Your night continued on until midnight when all the happy and drunk patrons exited the restaurant and you got to cleaning up the bar space, leaving you, Vernon, and Somi alone in the dimly lit room.

“Vernon? Want to stay and have a drink as a thank you for helping me out. Somi would but she has to get back to her ball and chain.”

“Are we allowed to do that?”

“Well my dad owns the place, I don’t think he cares much.”

“You’re dad? Wait what the fuck, I never put that together.”

“Yeah. Him and his friends.”

“Holy shit.”

Laughing along with Somi at his amazement, you bid her goodbye before sliding into a bar top table, holding the glass of vodka in your well manicured fingers.

Much to your surprise your more than shy coworker decided to stay with you sliding in next to you holding his own glass of beer.

“So wait. I’m confused. Your dad and his friends opened the bar. Why do you want to work here?”

“Easy. I always liked the idea of being a bartender and my parents would kill me for being a kid who didn’t have a job or work ethic and just using their money.”

“Got it. Aren’t you in school?”

“ I haven’t decided what to go for yet so I’m taking some time. Not sure yet. You?”

“Journalism.”

“For real? That’s cool as hell.”

“Yeah.”

Your phone lit up on the table blasting the ringtone really loudly in between you and Vernon, flashing the name Matthew on the screen.

“Hey. Yeah, this is her. Oh really? Can you hold on just ONE second. Thanks.”

Vernon waved you along letting you go on with the conversation with the guy who's been taking you on dates for the past week, curious why he’d be calling you late.

“Wait since I’m out of the loop, who was that?”

“You really want to know?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, so his name is Matt. We met at the coffee shop a few weeks ago. He was cute. He paid for my drink and we just sort of hit it off.”

“Have you guys slept together?”

“Yeah. The first day we met.”

“Y/N no. You’ve got to make these guys wait. Like they’re getting exactly what they want from you before you even know if they’re fucking idiots or not.”

“Really? Does that actually work though? I mean you heard him say he likes his ex there’s nothing I can change about that?”

“Did you ask when his last relationship was before you guys started dating?”

“Yeah he said he’d been single for two months.”

“Two months? And he’s already back with her? Or was he always seeing her when you guys were together? What kind of dates did you go on? Dinner? Or?”

“Coffee sometimes, then he’d just come hangout at my place most of the time.”

“So you never went to his?”

“No.”

“So he was cheating on his girlfriend with you?”

“What? No, he said he was single.”

Vernon ran his hands through his hair and let out a sigh before looking back at you.

“You guys met for coffee, you’d have him over to your place during the day, you’d have sex and he’d leave? You never saw his apartment? He just confessed that he’s been seeing his so-called ex over the phone the whole time you guys were quote on quote dating. He definitely lives with her and was fucking you for fun. You weren’t dating.”

“Speaking from experience, Vernon?”

“No. I’ve only ever dated one person seriously.”

“So why are you giving me advice about my dating life?”

“Because I had a successful five year relationship and you’ve had none? And you seem to need it.”

“Wow. I would normally be pissed, but you’re right. I can’t seem to tell what I’m doing wrong actually. Maybe I'm destined to be single.”

“Not true. You’re pretty, nice, and you’ve got a cool ass life. You’ll be fine, you just need some editing maybe.”

“So what? You want to be my relationship guru? Or?”

“Yes.”

You outstretched your hand to his and he shook it for you, confirming your now partnership where he would help you with your dating life.

“Wait, before we go further. Try this.”

Lifting the straw to your lips for you, Vernon offered you a sip of the drink he made.

“Wait, that's good, what is that?”

“That assholes drink.”

“I hate that I actually fucking like it.”

“Me too.”

You and Vernon spend the rest of your night together shooting the shit and getting to know each other more, once two am rolls around you both decide to head out and walk home.

“This is me.”

Much to your surprise Vernon swipes his key card to enter the same building as you.

“Wait, you live here? How come I’ve never seen you in the building?”

“I just moved in like three weeks ago. I spend most of my time in my apartment with my cat if I'm not at school or work.”

“What floor?”

“Seven.”

Pressing the number seven on the elevator button before you tapped number thirteen, you and Vernon rode silently up to your separate homes.

Before stepping off onto his floor, he pressed the hold door button.

“Come over tomorrow around six? I know you have the night off so we can hangout or whatever.”

“Okay. What should I wear?”

“You’ll figure it out. You always look nice. Casual is fine.”

Rolling your eyes to his back as he strode off to his front door, you yelled a goodnight out of the door before they clocked shit and ran you up to your own place.

Waking up the next morning you stepped out of your bed and pulled out all the ingredients to make a perfect cup of coffee, something that was like a religious ritual for you to clear your head before starting your day.

After the brew was finished dripping though your pour over carafe you decided to take in some sun on your balcony and prepare your mind for the rest of the day until you were set to get ready to hangout with Vernon.

The unexpected invitation to go on a quote in quote fake date with the boy had your head confused. What should you wear? What should you do with the little information given to you about what’s going on?

After spending a few hours outside with your coffee and disconnecting from your phone, you decided to head back inside and go through your closet in search of the perfect casual outfit.

Placing options on your bed, you hopped into the shower and spent time under the hot steam scrubbing your body from head to toe. After you were satisfied with your cleanliness, you stepped out and sat at your vanity, drying your hair and curling the front two pieces of your perfectly done up-do, painted your nails a perfect cherry red color, and put on your typical makeup look.

Sliding your slippers back on you stood now in front of the three tops hanging in front of you feeling them for the perfect vibe. Eventually selecting a simple white button down top to match your gray pleated short skirt, slipping up a pair of simple tights and black heeled knee high boots.

Finally the time came for you to run down seven floors and step off to find Vernon, knocking on the door to the left of the elevator a woman who you’ve seen around the building once or twice answered.

“I’m sorry, I think maybe I have the wrong apartment. Excuse me-“

“You’re y/n?”

“Yes. Hi.”

“Hi, I’m Vernon’s friend Chae. I like your outfit, it's super cute.”

“Oh. Thank you.”

Stepping into the similar shaped apartment to yours, you notice the colorful paintings all over the walls, the beautiful soft blue couch, and the cozy smell of fresh linen hitting your nose, as you walked in further you saw a group of various people sitting around in his living room, some pouring themselves drinks, some standing around eating snacks and talking.

“Would you like water or a beer or anything?”

“Oh no, I’m alright for now thank you.”

“No problem, I’ll just go see what he’s up to. Excuse me.”

“Sure.”

After waiting five minutes in the threshold of Vernon’s front entry, he peeled around the corner, dressed in an oddly similar outfit to yours, minus the heels and mini skirt.

His crisp white shirt and matching gray coat and pants, a black leather bag, carrying a pair of nice black sneakers in his hand.

“Hey, sorry I accidentally spilled cola on my other shirt, I had to change.”

“That’s alright. I like your outfit though, you look cool.”

“Thank you, I like yours too. I told you about casual dress though.”

“This is casual?”

“If you say so. Want a cocktail or something?”

“Uh, sure? Wait though I thought we were going out or something, I didn’t know you had company. I can leave?”

“No. Well, we’re going out a little later to a party, I wanted to invite you, come on.”

You stepped into his kitchen where he had various types of alcohol scattered on the counter, next to slices of pizza and a couple bags of chips.

You looked around the room at the new faces, some of them you recognized from Vernon bring them to the bar with him.

“Want the asshole special again? I actually made myself one.”

“Weirdly I do, yeah.”

Vernon laughed as he mixed you the same concoction he spilled the night before, handing it over to you gracefully.

“Thanks.”

“Yeah, no problem. This is a weird question, but did you roll any of your cigarettes or have any of those cute papers you use? I told my friend about them and he wanted to find some to roll a joint with.”

Digging through your bag you pulled out the small case full of tobacco and papers from inside, holding out the pack to him to give to his friend, someone who you’re sure you’ll meet at one point or another.

“Wow. Thank you.”

“It’s cool, I have a bunch anyway. So, what does this have to do with you being my relationship guru anyway?”

“Nothing actually. Just wanted to hangout with you more.”

“Oh, right.”

Something about Vernon being so kind to you and sticking up for you last night and today was making you see him in a different light almost like you were starting to have a crush on him. But he could never be into you that way, especially seeing how he interacted with his friend Chae.

Walking around his apartment and saying hello to his friends, you chose a seat adjacent to the couch, one that was unoccupied and slightly out of the way.

Some of his friends knew who you were without you even having to mention it. Talking and getting to know them. You excused yourself to the bathroom, but stumbled upon a room adorned with movie posters and music equipment.

“The bathroom is right here.”

Vernon pointed to the unlatched door down the hall, the same position as yours.

“I know. I live here too. I was just being nosy.”

“Oh. That's cool, you can check it out if you want.”

Stepping into his office space, you smiled looking around at his various media and collectables, staring at the framed record on the wall signed by an artist you like yourself.

“This is yours?”

“Yeah. I got it as a birthday present when I was like eighteen. I love it.”

“Sick.”

“Sick? You’re so weird. Do people say that shit still?”

“Fuck off. People definitely still say that.”

“Not cool people.”

“You literally told me I was cool yesterday?”

“I spoke too soon.”

As you and Vernon were standing in his room laughing, Chae appeared behind you both without your knowledge and gripped Vernon’s side, scaring the both of you with his reaction and finding her laughing her ass off.

“You should have seen your guys’ faces. It was too easy.”

“You’re such an asshole, I almost hit you.”

“I’d like to see you try, big boy.”

You just smiled, feeling a little awkward watching Vernon flirting with his friend.

“We want to head out, are you guys ready?”

“I’m good, I think Y/N had to use the restroom though?”

“Yeah. It’s okay, I think I might just head back to my place. I have a headache, but you guys have fun.”

“No way, come on, take some tylenol and let's go.”

“Chae. Let her leave if she doesn't feel good.”

“She obviously wants to leave because she found your weird collection of fucking disney vhs tapes, not because of her headache.”

“Not true.”

“It’s fine. I’ll come, just let me use the restroom fast. I’ll meet you.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

Leaving you to do your business, Chae handed you two small white pills from her bag, and a swig of her beer to wash them down with before heading behind Vernon as they got ready to leave for the next location.

After a few minutes of walking you and Vernon’s friends pulled up outside a bar you’ve never been to but heard a lot of your friends enjoyed, amply titled Love Bites.

Vernon held onto your shoulders and walked you into the front door of the bar, pushing you towards a table where he told you to sit down and wait, as he walked away and left you with his friend to order everyone a round of drinks.

The seat next to you that you’d hoped Vernon would fill was taken by a dark haired boy you hadn’t recognized from earlier back at the apartment.

“Y/n? Hi, I’m Joshua.

“Oh. Hi, nice to meet you.”

“Vernon’s friend just so you don’t think I’m some random dude.”

“Right. I figured.”

“Actually I was the one who asked for the papers, thank you by the way.”

“Yeah, no problem. Do you smoke? Like weed or?”

“Yeah, just weed. I used to smoke cigarettes and vape for a while or whatever, but I stopped for a while. I just realized it was a boring habit.”

“How’d you know I had strawberry papers, did Vernon tell everyone?”

“No, no. He just said you were cool. Very friendly, but you didn’t talk about yourself enough and that you have nice smelling cigarettes that you smell like sometimes. Nothing too much really.”

“Oh. No dirty details about my weird dating life he pressed me about?”

“Nothing about that, but he knows about my awful habits too. He always tells me I need serious help.”

“Yes. Me too, I called him a relationship guru.”

“He thinks he is, but he’s had a crush on the same girl for a while. I'm not sure who she is, he never told me anything more about it. I’m not sure he’s the guy I’d trust to set me up that's for sure.”

“Oh really? Is it, you know?”

You pointed with your eyes across the table to Chae who was seated next to Vernon’s side.

“I don’t think so. She’s definitely been in love with him forever, they were friends when they were kids and rekindled a few years ago when she moved back to town. She's really obvious about it, but he never said anything.”

“Ah, I don’t know he seems to flirt with her alot.”

“He’s just like that with everyone, overly friendly, kind of dorky.”

“I see that.”

You spent the entire night talking and getting to know Joshua, surprisingly finding out a lot of things that made you more and more intrigued about him.

When the night finally came to a close, you left with his number and a plan to go out with just the two of you a few days later. Maybe Vernon being your friend was going to pay off more than you knew and his relationship guru advice brought you right into the hands of his very good friend.

In the next few weeks you continued working and getting to know the pervious shy boy you thought Vernon was and going on actual good dates with his friend Joshua, who much to your surprise wasn’t the type to fuck you and forget you on a first date.

Months passed by as your casual dating with Joshua went on and on, thinking that while it was good something with him was missing. But, you kept giving him a chance anyway. Unaware what that something was.

On a night where you were getting ready to go out for a date you found Vernon outside of your apartment door, knocking on it wildly waiting for you to come and answer.

“Is everything alright?”

“Y/n.”

“Want to come in?”

“No. Yes? Is that alright?”

“Are you okay? You’re acting weird as hell.”

Vernon just nodded his head and sat down on your couch.

“Are you getting ready to head out? You look really nice. I feel like I’m interrupting something.”

“No. I just got home from a date actually. Why?”

“Fuck. I’m sorry.”

“It would help if you stopped saying sorry and told me what was wrong.”

“Chae.”

“Oh?”

“She was over at my apartment. We were just playing video games and having some beer or whatever, but she tried to kiss me. And I let her at first, but I didn’t want to kiss her. I never have. I know she’s pretty and whatever, but like..”

“Wait. So why did you come up here?”

“Because I didn’t know what else to do? She’s still downstairs, she said she won't leave until we talk about what happened and she’s crying. I tried to tell her I wasn’t interested in her romantically and I liked being her friend, but she won’t take no for an answer. I just didn’t know what else to do. I’m sorry I interrupted your nice night like this.”

You walked over into the kitchen and poured Vernon a glass of water to hopefully settle him from rambling so much.

“Can I ask you why you aren’t interested in her? I always assumed you guys had something going on.”

“No. Never. She’s not my taste, I mean she’s really cool. But we’re really similar and I don’t want to date someone who reminds me too much of myself otherwise I’d get bored, but never break it off maybe because I’m too nice or maybe because I feel too comfortable. Does that make any sense?”

“Yeah.”

“Plus, I told her I liked someone else anyway and she got even more upset. She started accusing me of being a liar and leading her on.”

“I’ll be honest and when I first met her I thought you liked her too, but the more I got to know you I realized you pretty much act that way around everyone you’re comfortable with.”

“Right.”

“Want me to help you get her out of your apartment?”

“You would?”

“Yeah. I still owe you for spilling that drink a long time ago.”

“My god, no you don’t”

“Shh, in my heart I do. Are you staying here or coming?”

“I’ll come.”

Heading down the elevator still in your nice date outfit, you grabbed his keys and unlocked his front door to find Chae still sitting on his couch, waiting for him to come home.

Looking her up and down you found her dressed in shorts two sizes too small with Vernon’s T-Shirt draped over her body. Clinging to his pillow and looking you up and down.

“What the fuck is she doing here, Vernon? She’s not a part of this at all.”

“Actually, I’m here to ask you to politely get the fuck out of his apartment and stop making him feel bad for not liking you.”

“You’re such a bitch, he does like me. The person he doesn’t like is you, so maybe you should get the fuck out of here. He just feels sorry for you.”

“Chae, that’s not true and don’t talk to her like that.”

“You’re actually defending her? She hasn’t been nice to me once since she met me. She just acts like an entitled brat around me all the time, making me feel stupid. She’s not a part of this conversation at all, don’t you understand how insane this is?”

“She is a part of it actually, because she’s the girl I have a crush on and if I wasn’t so focused on making everyone else around me happy at the price of myself I would’ve been able to tell her that already instead of doing it like this.”

“Verno-”

“Her? You fucking like her? Seriously? She told me she never would date someone like you and that you’re dorky and a loser.”

“What the fuck is wrong with you? That’s never happened. You’re the one who parades around making me feel like an idiot and that I'm not good enough to be friends with Vernon. You know who’s being an entitled brat? You. You’re kicking this poor guy out of HIS apartment for not liking you back like a child, you’re sitting on his couch in HIS clothes, waiting for him to come back to you to try to pressure him into being with you when he told you he likes someone else. If you’re such a good ass friend to him like you constantly claim to be, then maybe be that good friend and get the hell up, give him his shirt back and get the fuck out or you can talk to him like the adult that you are and try to understand how he feels and continue being his friend. If you don’t like either option I don’t know what else to tell you. So, what will it be?”

“If I talk to him, you need to get the fuck out of here, I don’t want you around.”

“Fine with me, but stop being such an insufferable bitch and maybe have some compassion. Goodnight.”

Not wanting to wait around for the elevator, you slammed Vernon’s door shut leaving them to have their conversation and walked up the seven flights of stairs back into your cozy home untainted by her bad energy.

Hours later after you were showered and ready to destress from the absolute chaos your night has been, you poured yourself a glass of wine and sat on your to smoke a nicely rolled joint as a treat to yourself, leaving your phone inside your room and out of your eyesight.

Suddenly mid-inhale another knock came to your door, half of you wanted to pretend you were asleep, but another part of you assumed whoever it was must have an issue with you smoking inside your home.

Looking through the peephole of your front door, you saw for the second time in the night Vernon standing outside, now in his plaid pj pants and a hoodie pacing around waiting for you to answer.

Taking in a deep breath you opened the door and took one look at his messy hair, realizing he must have been trying to sleep, but couldn’t.

“Yes?”

“Can I come in?”

“Be my guest. Sorry I’m smoking weed inside, it smells weird.”

“Can I have a hit actually?”

“Sure.”

“Thanks.”

Handing over the pink flower, Vernon took an incredibly long hit of the weed, exhaling it creating a cloud over the two of you.

“Wine?”

“Uh, not yet. Can I confess something to you?”

“Is it about the girl you like?”

“Sorry you had to find out like that. I was planning on telling you, but then you started seeing Josh and whatever else it just got away from me, it wasn’t the right time I know. I just let it slip.”

“It’s okay, Vernon”

“It’s not, especially when you’re not single. I feel like I ruined any relationship we had with saying it, even our platonic one.”

“When you talked about ruining my nice night before? Didn’t you wonder why I was coming home from a date at 7:00pm? It was because I actually just broke it off with Joshua. He was really nice about it of course, but I just felt like we were friends and nothing more.”

“Oh. So you’re not?”

“Dating him? No.”

“So I didn’t ruin it?”

“My night? Not at all, it wasn't that great anyway.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah.”

Vernon took the opportunity to steal your glass of wine and downed it right then and there whispering a small sorry to you for doing so.

“Okay, so. I knew I liked you the moment we started working together. I wasn’t sure how to tell you ever, I wasn’t even sure how to talk to you because you made me feel so awkward, not because you were mean or anything, just because I knew I’d sound like a fucking dumb ass. But, that night we first walked home together and had a drink. I found out so much about you, I liked you even more so I asked you to come and hangout with us at my place, I figured I could get some courage to finally ask you out, which ultimately I failed at again and it just spiraled out of control. It’s just gotten more and more bad for me, like bad in the sense I just can’t stop falling for you and you didn’t know. Until I essentially fucked it up further telling you I like you infront of Chae, which was a mistake too. I keep fucking it up.”

“You're doing pretty good if you ask me, but you should’ve just told me a long time ago then none of this crazy shit would have happened.”

“That's charming, no?”

“Only because it's you.”

“Look, I don’t need an answer from you now or ever, just know I wont be fucking weird about it anymore. I’ll let you go to bed. I’ll see you in a few days at work and everything will be good.”

Vernon got up and tried to walk towards your front door for an exit, but you caught up to him in time, grabbing him by his shoulders and spinning him around just in time to plant a perfectly placed kiss on his pink lips.

“I like that you’re fucking weird and for your information I admire your dumb vhs tape collection.”

Vernon took his opportunity to kiss you again, even longer this time than the first one, pushing his tongue into your mouth, making you moan as his hands snaked their way around your body.

“You taste like vanilla too.”

“Nice?”

“Perfect.”

“Would us having sex count as us fucking on the first date?”

“This would be considered fucking before the first date.”

“Ah, I see. Is that a no-no?”

“I’ll let it slide.”

Vernon lifted you up, prompting you to wrap your legs around his long torso, and carried you onto your couch, setting you down to be perfectly face to face with his enclosed penis, now beginning to grow inside of his pants. Dipping your fingers into the waistband of his pants you grazed the tips of your fingers over the head of his dick, making him shiver from the cold touch of your hands.

Unwrapsping him like a present, his penis flew from his waistband and you quickly wrapped your lips around the soft pink skin, slightly creating a suction cup with your lips as his hands found their way to the back of your head and he fucked your face gently.

As his speed picked up, the head of his dick was pounding its way to the back of your throat making him weak in the knees and unsure how much longer he could go on like this without relieving himself inside of your mouth.

In order to savor this moment further, he against his better judgment pulled you off of him and got on his knees in front of you, running a finger down your neck, placing soft kisses on your lips and all the way down to your sternum, his fingers following along.

Pushing over your panties to the side he ran those same fingers up and down your wet center, making you moan and push onto him, begging for him to put them inside of you without many words.

When he was finally done teasing you, he placed his first two fingers at the entrance and ran his thumb over your clit making you squirm and let out a small moan, trying to grind your way further onto him.

With the same speed as before he started pumping his fingers into your wet center, crawling his way into your body and making you overwhelmed with pleasure.

Suddenly he was four fingers deep stretching you out as a preparation for you to be comfortable fucking his much larger dick when suddenly you squirted all over his bare chest, slinking back onto the couch in a fit of heavy breathing.

Vernon didn’t let you off the hook though, he grabbed onto you hips, carrying you onto the floor under him. Finally fucking you through your previous orgasm, riding into the sensitive waters of your clit, softly sucking on your nipples as he slowly thrusted himself onto you, almost like it was the only way to cure the aching in your center.

As the sweat and your bodily fluids mix their way together, the heavy breathing slowed to near silence, watching him in ecstasy fucking into you, noticing the beauty of the way his eyelashes ran across his cheeks and the small light gold flecks in his eyes. He’s never been more beautiful to you than he was tonight.

Suddenly in your daze his lips came onto yours before he slightly lifted them off of you to whisper while they still grazed over the top.

“Can I come inside?”

“Please.”

And with your verbal confirmation Vernon filled up your body with his semen and rode into his very own orgasm as well.

Kissing you once again he got up and ran into your bathroom to grab a clean towel for you both to clean up with and laid back down next to you on the floor.

Suddenly the two of you erupted into laughter, just thinking about how stupid you both were to see chemistry between you was about as hot as the sex you both indulged in.

“I can’t believe you were going to leave.”

“I can’t believe I thought you weren’t into me.”

“Who said I wasn’t lying?”

“The way you were moaning and fucking into me told me all I needed to know.”

“Ok, hot shot.”

“So about that first date?”

“It’s on.”

429 notes · View notes

st4rbe0m · 4 months ago

Text

GIRLS LIKE BOYS LIKE ME !

how would enhypen prepare for their first date with you!

🩷 now playing - on melancholy hill by the gorillaz

🩷 contents - includes kissing! no gendered terms used but makeup is mentioned in Jake's. enha as losers who are trying their best™ on first dates

🩷 a/n - unlocked how to make gradient text im basically unstoppable now. this is my first time writing a headcanon sort of thing!! so I hope it's good. pls do reblog and leave comments - I would love to hear from readers :)

masterlist

HEESUNG would be the type to try and play it cool and then lose his mind then play it cool again like an on and off switch. He would ask Jay fashion advice super nonchalantly, but Jay would be able to see through his shit IMMEDIATELY lmao. But like the good friend Jay is, he helps Heesung pick out a cool yet not over-the-top fit. Definitely picks up flowers on the way so that they're fresh, and maybe even spritzes a bit of mouth freshener before ringing your doorbell because of course he ate onion rings before leaving the house out of nervousness •́‿,⁠•̀

I feel like he'd take you to an arcade for a first date - not only because it gives you both bonding time while playing games, but he also gets to show off his shooter skills in those lcd zombie games (the playing league all night is coming in clutch for him right now). Definitely also the type to stand at the claw machine for half an hour trying to get you a toy. "Seung it's always rigged, come on we can play another round of ice hockey instead." "It's not about being rigged anymore Y/N. It's a matter of pride and courage. Life or death." Like boy T-T it's never that serious king. Would walk you home while you clutch a GIGANTIC bear plushie that he may or may not have bribed some poor arcade worker for while pretending he won at the totally not rigged claw machine, which was concerning, but also very sweet. Sweet enough to warrant a kiss on the cheek by the end of the date ;)

JAY would literally be the most perfect, gentleman-ly guy and just drop dead gorgeous and AHDJKD sorry my first date feels for Jay are RAGING right now. Definitely would be jittery for sure, but is calm and level-headed. I feel like he's the type to ask you out on a date very traditionally after harbouring feelings for a while, watching from afar kind of like the XO music video you know, with the flower shop? Bouquet with red or white roses are a MUST and he'd extend his arm out for you to hold while he takes you out of your house (definitely the type to charm your parents that has them pushing you out the door because that boy is PERFECT)

He would probably take you out to a restaurant or OR hear me out - an in home date where he's kicked his members out somehow and has the living room set up like a restaurant with a table with some candles and dim lighting, food he prepared (house-husband material. wife him up right NOW.) so that he could show off his cooking skills. Wonderful date, would drop you off home as well. Honestly I don't see him kissing you on the first date because of all that chivalry you know, but don't worry he's just building it up to the more perfect moment to be your perfect boyfriend.

JAKE, this happy puppy would be so SO excited he'd be counting seconds up to when he would meet you :( He's so ADORABLE he would literally tell everyone knows about how he's scored a date with the finest person alive and then would proceed to spend a whole week just grinning in happiness cuz he's going on a date with you!!! I think more than flowers, he'd get you some sort of trinket or some chocolates as a gift :D and he'd be skipping along the way. TONS of compliments about your makeup and your outfit and just you in general.

I feel like he'd have a picnic-park sort of date thing setup, bonus if you have a dog because you best believe he'd be bringing Layla along. He'd ask his mom for help and pack the most scrumptious picnic ever, and just spend a day basking in the sun with you. The evening might even end up with you both walking hand-in-hand by the riverside, just chitchatting because this boy is a pro-yapper, and just enjoying each other's presence. Wonderful date that would end in a kiss wink wink ;) because he's just so so enamoured by you that he will literally lose his mind if he lets this shot go.

SUNGHOON is a loverboy at heart - as cool and chill he may seem on the outside you best believe he's giving that smile that makes his eyes crinkle while escorting you to your date. He's sharply dressed and has received the apropos speech from his sister about first date etiquettes even though he's quite a mindful man with great manners already. I see him getting white or pink tulips for the date.

He'd take you to a - I know it's a cliché, but an ice rink!! Because it's his element, and that confidence is what he wants to show you. That he's the one for you, or at least who he's trying to be. Sunghoon may seem like a player or someone who doesn't do serious attachment but with you, it just feels different. Giggling along with you and pushing you along gently, guiding you around the contours of the ice rink has his own heart doing pirouettes. And of course as clichè this is heading already, the date concludes with an accidental kiss that happens when you slip on the ice, bringing him down with you. You're both laughing at your hopeless nonexistent skating skills and all he can do in that moment is give you a small peck on the lips that makes his pale cheeks blush violently.

SUNOO is such a sweetheart, I have a feeling you would have already been friends for a while and that his feelings for you had been garnering for a while, until he just had to tell you. And so here he is, dressed down to a tee with the help of Jay's good fashion sense, and of course adding his own personal touch to it. This smitten cutie would be going all out with the gifts, trust. With a medium sized bouquet, he would also get a box of chocolates for you and maybe something else, like a scrunchie or a charm bracelet you'd mentioned you'd been eyeing for a while to him before.

Sunoo, in my mind, seems like such a pottery date kind of guy to me. He adores creativity and spending that time to do something a bit artsy with his favourite person just sounds so cute. He would maybe make a dish bowl sort of thing for him to keep at his sink for his skincare or balms or even vitamins, while you would make a key holder or a soap box. And he'd help you out with your paints, giving you ideas on what you could make, and listening to your inputs as well. Since you both were already friends before, it's a comfortable and secure environment around you both, that just makes this sunshine boy beam more than ever possible around you. "Sun that looks great!!", you'd encourage him, as he'd just wipe away whatever flecks of paint had gotten on your hand, basking in your praise. He might even take the opportunity to hold your hand, to which you of course had no complaints.

JUNGWON is panicking and Jay and Heesung are trying their best to call him down. Panicking because he overslept on his nap to freshen up for his date. But fear not, because this is where Efficient Wonie comes in and saves the day. It's like everything that must be done becomes natural to him - it's in his second nature to buy you flowers and ring up your doorbell, flashing that all so sweet grin of his. And after calming down the raging butterflies in your stomach, you both set off on the date he's meticulously planned.

I see Jungwon as a multi-activity date kind of guy, you know? Why not get the best of all the worlds with this guy? He has the date planned in his head for months now, considering how long he's been itching to ask you out. He starts the date off with a nice, cozy cafe visit where you both can pick up some beverages to set yourselves right. Following would be a movie, something he'd find meaningful enough for a first date. And he's trying his best to focus on the movie instead of the fingertips brushing against yours inside the popcorn bucket because he needs to know the plot for the next part of the date!! Which is taking you to a small diner after the movies to talk about what you both found interesting about the film - whether it was good or bad, characters and the theme. And just from there the conversation would flow. Jungwon would be so easy to converse with that you wouldn't even know where the time has gone, until you find yourself in front of your house with him, hours past in a blink. And with how adorable his dimples look under the street lamps as you bid him goodbye, you can't help but place a sweet kiss on them as you depart, leaving him lovestruck on the street.

RIKI wants to have a bit of fun on dates. Sure movies and arcades and picnics are fun. But this boy is a ball of energy when he's around the people he likes - if it isn't obvious from the way he's around his members and their comfort. And that's how you made him feel as well, comfortable in his own skin. So much so that it warranted a date with the dance prodigy, who couldn't get you off his mind at all. He'd definitely be much more confident in this date than the others for sure, but that doesn't mean he isn't a bit nervous!! But sweet boy is more nervous about making sure you have a blast tonight with him. And with the way you're laughing and accepting the flowers he got you, placing them in a vase, those worries fade almost immediately.

Riki would take you to a town carnival or an amusement park sort of setup for a date! This teasing little shit would totally use this opportunity for poking fun at how you would scream on the faster rides like the rollercoaster, and would claim how he would "protect you" if anything did happen (like dawg this is not a fight for honor it's legit just a rollercoaster). He'd win you some prizes from the side stalls, and you'd both share a large cotton candy. Would whine about the animal ears you insisted that he wear during the duration of the date, which you had bought from a concession stand. But he would also complain when you said he doesn't have to wear it if he doesn't like it like T-T bro. The date reached its final note on the Ferris wheel, and it's not like you were scared of heights, it's just that you'd severely underestimated how high the ride went. "You can hold my hand if you're scared", Riki says jokingly. But you take the offer instantly, tightly clutching his hand as your eyes are wide and looking around as awe starts replacing the terror in your eyes. And despite the view, Riki could only look at you. Feeling his gaze on you, you turned your head around to only find yourself encaptured in a sweet and romantic kiss, surrounded by cool air miles above the ground.

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rosylamb · 4 months ago

Note

I so wish to talk with you privately!

♡ ⊹ . ˚ * . ⊹

⊹ 🍓 ｡⁺ ˚ . 🎀 ⊹ ˚ ♡

My friend ~ ! . ˚ * . 🤍

This is a generous sentiment indeed :D

Thank you *so* much !!

I’m not sure why you think this, but I am grateful for your kindness still ♡

Honestly, I’m not very good at conversation, but I’d like to be someday !!

I actually checked out some books from the library a while back on making friends and speaking better, but I’m not sure how helpful they have been?

Well, as with all things I will keep practicing hehe c:

It was really nice to hear from you though! You seem most kind, and friendly — I bet you probably have a *lot* of friends !!

(And that’s truly amazing! I hope I am like that someday, too !! You are so lucky, my friend ♡)

Sending you very warm hugs, cupcakes, and *lots* of love! Please take care, and have the best day ever ~ !! ♡

XO . ˚ * . ♡

♡ 🎀 ⊹ ｡⁺ 🍓 ₊ * XO

#♡#ask #they are books for girls mostly c:#and they did have some good advice — i think i would recommend them to others !!#but i don’t know ! awkwardness is just me i think hehe :’)#thank you kindly for the ask and for dropping by !!#i like to hear from people us everyone is so nice and interesting !!#so this was most wonderful c:#i hope you take care new friend and that you have a good day !!#i wish you all the very best ~ !! c:#xo ! ♡#🍓 ｡⁺ ˚ . 🎀 ⊹ ˚ ♡

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storiesoflilies · 6 months ago

Text

school bus love (3)

synopsis: a plan of action was hatched. the only question was, did she have the guts to do it?

pairing: teen!toji fushiguro x teen!f!reader

warnings: none.

a/n: my friends are hilarious. we are all still besties to this day, despite the distance. isn’t that wonderful? @mxrgxth @asa-23 also yes, i watch food wars. i regret nothing lol xo

part 2 // part 4

“girl, just do it.”

“i- yeeeeeesh- no! i can’t.”

“why the hell not? it’s not a big deal.”

“it completely is!”

“adding someone on snapchat is not a big deal, bitch. just do it.”

she had been carefully been scheming away in the haven of her pile of marshmallow-soft pillows, feeling like a naughty little witch brewing all sorts of potions over a bubbling black cauldron. the plan had been simple: add more and more of her new classmates on snapchat, patiently biding her time until toji’s username inevitably popped up in quick add. and finally, after what seemed like forever, his profile was there – his little bitmoji staring at her like it knew exactly what she was up to.

she picked the sides of her nails, staring a hole into her glowing phone, yet another re-run of food wars! playing on her laptop amidst all the emotional turmoil.

“this has been quite the extensive operation,” morgoth piped up, the almost deafening background noise from his end of the line muffling his words. “don’t pussy out now.”

“exactly,” asa sighed wistfully, a rare moment of agreement, probably sick of hearing about any and all interactions she had with toji over the last two months.

she stared at his bitmoji for just a moment longer, quite certain that toji was spying on her through its overly green eyes, and hoped for a cataclysmic event that would actually be him adding her instead.

although, waiting for that would have been more torturous than taking a brave leap of faith.

her finger hovered over the ‘add’ button, trembling delicately.

something caused her breath to catch in her throat, and her fingertip edged closer.

morgoth snorted, the sudden loudness echoing through her headphones, and startling her out of her wits.

a chain reaction has begun.

the dominos were falling one by one.

and she pressed it.

she pressed the button.

a gasp, accompanied by a shriek, and she flew off the edge of her bed, staring at her phone, wondering if toji was looking at his screen with his lip curled in disgust.

“did you do it?” asa asked, clearly bemused by her antics.

“uh huh,” she squealed, her eyes still locked on her phone that had turned black.

she felt a churning sensation in her stomach, nerves setting her whole body tingling as if she was in a bath filled with electric eels, and bit the inside of her cheek.

why did crushes have to feel so damn delirious?

it was debilitating, yet so very addictive. she loved playing the game, chasing the high of a victory tantalizingly out of reach.

“and now we wait,” morgoth said, almost bored. “that was kinda anticlimactic.”

she huffed in annoyance, feeling a flare of irritation as her already frazzled nerves riled her up more than they should have. “listen, you dickh-“

her phone vibrated and lit up.

a familiar yellow ghost popped up.

badum! boom! badum!

she yelped and grabbed her phone, clambering back onto her bed.

toji fushiguro has added you as a friend!

“oh my god,” she gaped, a hand clasped over her jaw as it swung wide open. “guys.”

“what? what?” asa giggled, the rustling of sheets audible from his end of the line. “did he add you back?”

“uh huh,” was all she could muster in awe.

“let’s gooooo!” morgoth cheered.

“fuck, guys. what the fuck do i do now?”

well, whatever she decided to do, it absolutely had to wait. she couldn’t immediately respond in any sort of way; otherwise, she would seem desperate. no, she wanted to exude coolness, suaveness, and seem without a care in the world – especially not about gorgeous boys, with gorgeous eyes, and gorgeous…

“message him?” morgoth suggested, quite naively.

her and asa hissed in annoyance almost simultaneously. “absolutely not. are you stupid?” she snapped.

“well, i don’t know. what was the point of all this then if you weren’t going to message the guy?”

she made a string of incoherent noises, sputtering out, “i didn’t get that far!”

“listen,” asa interjected, the grounding voice of reason and calm. “leave it for five minutes, then send him a streak.”

a metaphorical lightbulb sprung to life above her head.

“fuck, you’re smart,” she whispered with reverence, taking a deep breath and unlocking her phone.

she spent that time deciding on what sort of snap she would take. would she do a classic forehead picture and just say ‘streaks’? or should she opt for the standard blacked out picture with just the letter ‘S’? no, if she was to catch toji’s attention, she had to stand out from the crowd.

she snapped a perfect frame of soma’s flourishing cooking technique and typed out a quick ‘streaks 🍳’.

and hit send.

for the second time that night, she dramatically fell to the floor with a loud thump. “i did it!”

“so proud of you,” morgoth remarked sarcastically. “when’s the wedding?”

“m, shut up,” asa huffed, tutting before asking. “girl, how do you feel?”

“on fire, but what if he ignores it? then that means he definitely doesn’t like me.”

“not really, hun. maybe he just doesn’t bother with streaks like m.”

“i agree, i always forget them.”

“don’t worry, we know.”

buzz!

toji fushiguro sent you a snap!

“guys, guys! he answered!” she exclaimed, rolling over and kicking her legs in the air.

“don’t open it!” asa screeched. “leave it for a minute.”

the next sixty seconds were absolutely agonizing, each second clawing its way through muddy trenches as shells rained down from the sky. she was breathing hard, a live tripwire, a bazooka ready to explode. as soon as the minute was up, she tapped on the red square to open toji’s snap.

she sucked in a breath.

there he was, wearing a tight grey t-shirt, with a close-up picture of his forearm and bicep, and a simple ‘streaks’ across the screen.

“guys,” she giggled. “i think i won.”

general taglist (open): @tadabzzzbee @wannapizzamymindposts @stromynight

school bus love taglist (open): @badbyeyoongi

#toji fushiguro x reader #toji x you #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji x y/n #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji zenin #fushiguro toji #toji fluff #jujutsu kaisen #jjk drabbles #jjk x reader #jjk fluff

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thecameronchronicles · 2 years ago

Text

Baby Daddy

TW: Smut. DOM!Rafe. Smut. Language. Manipulative and toxic behaviors. Degrading language. Read with discretion.

SUMMARY: Rafe manipulated his way to your bed once again...

WORD COUNT: 2900

REQUESTED

onclouds999 asked:

Can you do a toxic baby daddy smut with rafe. Yn decide to just co parent one evening and rafe wants a lil more than just family time

*ADDED A BIT OF AN ELEMENT HERE, HOPE YOU STILL ENJOY! XO

Baby Daddy

Late as usual. Your mind had already begun to conjure the poor excuse he would have when finally arriving to pick up your son. Would it be traffic like it was last week or work the Friday night prior to that? It didn't matter. All you could think of was how at ease you would feel for tomorrow morning when you could wake up without the alarm coming in the form of your child knocking on your bedroom door. You loved being a mom, even if the role came unexpectedly. But you were still human. You still wanted to sleep in every so often. You wanted that small break you were warranted after a week's worth of responsibility for a life you hadn't created on your own.

The thoughts of that night in question managed to sneak their way into your thoughts as you sat in wait against the kitchen counter, only to be interrupted by that eventual knock of certainty.

"Your dad's here..." The title still foreign in regards to someone like Rafe, who still believed responsibility was set to everyone else. But you couldn't deny how it warmed your heart to see your son's excitement for his father. Those small moments visualized are what made you regret not being able to make it work. And if life with Rafe could be composed solely of those moments than it could have. But he was too manipulative. Too dark. Too toxic.

"My car just broke down."

"What?!" You peeked your head out of the door of your apartment.

"And the storm is coming in pretty quick...guess I'll be staying in tonight." You clenched your jaw.

"Can't you have Ward or Topper-" Before you could offer an alternative, his jacket was removed and he was moving in the direction of your son.

"Looks like we're staying with mommy tonight.". You clenched your jaw.

"All of us?" Your toddler asked, eyes of wonder matching Rafe's that looked to you in mischief. He made a habit of using your son to make you acquiesce. Christmases spent at Tannyhill when you wanted to go back home to your own family. The choice of preschool as a Cameron child wouldn't be caught dead in a public school setting when "higher education was within reach". You could hear Ward speak the words as you thought them. But even down to the design of your son's room in YOUR apartment. Rafe got the final say.

Luckily, the night was nearly over. Sun had already been exchanged for the moon and the stars sat as sporadic diamonds across a clear sky covered in a dying storm as you set your son to sleep. After sharing dinner with pleasant conversation, you overheard Rafe read your son to sleep as you finished the dishes to wake up to a clean kitchen. But as he emerged, you recognized that glimmer in his slate cobalt irises. The same that convinced you to keep from using protection that night four years ago. The same look that made you a mom with the accompaniment of that devilish smirk and those hands tracing up your body...

"I have the couch made up-'

"Can I take a shower? I didn't have the chance since getting off. I came straight here. To see you...both." He asked the question already knowing you had no reason to deny him of this. But as he slipped away, not even to the bedroom before being shirtless, you rolled your eyes at his attempts.

Although you weren't proud of it, it wasn't the first time in which you'd fallen back into your old patterns. Rafe was familiar. Toxic. But familiar. He was that old sweater in the back of your closet that you found comfort in no matter your weight or motivation for the day. He was that song you thought you'd forgotten on the day you needed it most. But along with the ease came more of a bittersweet underdone of the chaos he left behind. Which was why tonight was so special for you. It was the first night in which you intended to move on.

The bath was the first step to what was preparation for a date with someone else. Someone new. Someone you never would have paid attention to before now. But with a string of broken relationships having collected pieces of your heart, you didn't think it would hurt. Which was why you shouldn't have been surprised that Rafe happened to break down tonight. If he even had. You had half of a mind to run out into the blizzard and investigate. But before you could, he emerged in only a towel.

"Forget your clothes?" You asked, turning around in annoyance.

"I remember a time you used to lick down my stomach and leave scratch marks on my abs and now you can't even look?" He scoffed as you glared. Your anger was enough to ignore the way his abdomen was accentuated beneath the droplets of water seemingly left intentionally.

"Would you please just get dressed?!" You groaned as your phone rang on the counter.

Shit.

"Hey!" Your cadence lifted.

"You can't make it?" The kind voice of your date asked, soothing understanding set over his disappointment.

"No, of course I understand." You would leave out the overnight guest you had acquired at the last minute before wishing him a good night and turning back to find Rafe leaning against the door to your bedroom.

"Who is he?" You clenched your jaw, slightly relieved that Rafe didn't know as it meant the guy was safe. To keep him this way, you evaded his question.

"I checked the weather and it says the storm will only last until about two and so I'll make him breakfast and then you can go-"

"So you can go on your date?" He asked, almost teasing the idea.

"It's not a...yeah..." You corrected. "Yeah...Rafe."

"Is he a good guy?" He asked while folding his arms, flexing his muscles with the intent to steal your focus.

"I don't know. It'll be our first date."

"Then let me tell you how it would go .." he began to walk closer to you every few seconds as he spoke. You rolled your eyes to his 'man-splaining'.

"He is going to compliment you all night all to get you naked. Once he has, he'll get dirtier about it. Ask what you like and maybe even smack your ass."

Your eyes narrowed sharper towards him.

"And he'll leave. He won't call. You'll feel like shit."

"Oh really?" He nodded, now standing only a foot or so away from you, his arms coming across himself once again.

"Now let me tell you what you'll do ..." Your brows arched in intrigue.

"You'll be nice and sweet...compliment his sense of humor although you'll have to force yourself to laugh all night. You'll let him fuck you because you'll be trying to convince yourself it's a way to move on..." He now hovered over you.

"But when he leaves ..you'll slide your hand to that bedside drawer and take out that vibrator you use and think of me like you always do. Because that's the only way you ever come. Because of me-"

"Believe it or not, Rafe...I don't need you for that." You spat, even if it had been a lie. No matter how close to that precipice you came, you couldn't find relief unless imagining his touch or his lips. His kiss. His cock...

"What were you going to wear for him?" He teased the shirt already draping halfway off of your shoulder. As you corrected him, he scoffed.

"You should wear the powdered blue set. Easier to take off. It will be over faster-"

"Go to hell ..." You muttered before trying to move past him. But in the attempts to try, you felt him capture your wrist.

"I am." Your eyes nearly closed to his words.

"Everyday I'm not with you."

"You were with me. You dictated my every move. What I wore. What I ate. What I said...that isn't being with me...that's prison...I have a right to be happy Rafe..."

"All those times you screamed for me, you were miserable?"

"It was always sex. It was how you tried to fix how fucked up you are. But nothing can. Not therapy. Not your dad's money. Not me. I tried. Every time you just got high. Every time you screwed up...but not now. Not again." Your words were cause enough to be released.

You moved into your bedroom, closing the door as softly as possible to keep from waking your son connected by only a thin wall. The ambition to bathe in ease and seclusion remained as you began to run the water and sat on the rim of the tub. Wearing only remnants of the day's outfit, you traced your fingers through the water before adding your bathing additions. Bubbles coated the top in a thin layer as Epsom salt was set for your aching muscles. But they would do nothing to soothe the ache between your thighs.

"You belong to me." His voice wasn't as surprising as the grasp made at the back of your hair and neck.

"I don't-" You were forced before the bathroom mirror.

"Let me remind you." Before you could object, your panties were infiltrated by his fingers.

"Nice to know I can still make you this wet without doing much..."

"It's not because of you-" You attempted to derail his confidence, but he was quick to correct you.

"You said you hadn't even dated the guy yet. And I know for a fact nobody can touch you or fuck you like me." He pulled harder at your hair, but not enough to make it impossible to see your reflection. All because he wanted you to witness your body's response to him.

"I'll give you one last chance to be honest for me."

But you paused. Validating him meant lengthening this tormenting toxicity. Even if the release he allowed was incomporable it was also detrimental to your existence. Small doses were a near overdose in his presence, which left any interaction dangerous. Especially alone. Especially those confined like this.

"That's okay baby...Your pussy is telling me everything I need to know. Everything I already did..." He was cruel with the first finger set inside of you. The familiar thick digit was directed on a mission solely to tease you as you arched back against him.

"Rafe..." His second hand came over your mouth, turning your jaw to face him.

"You don't say anything until I say...if we wake him up it's going to be because his mom's too big of a whore for my cock to be quiet. But because she's too desperate for just my fingers." He pulled you back to face the mirror before tracing your neck with his tongue.

"You remember my tongue, don'tcha baby? You've come on it enough times...I can still taste the last time...mmm..." He groaned as your eyes rolled. That masterful tongue that has been the means behind so many undeserved apologies prior to now.

"And my cock...you want that don't you baby? Reminding you how deep," His finger projected this as you gasped. Your lips remained open to the pressure of his finger as a second brought a sensation only he could.

"How hard it makes you come? How it was meant to wear your cum? Just like you were meant to drip with mine?" Your attempts to speak only came out in broken breaths and unsteady whimpers.

"You think anyone, especially a fucking pogue, can do better?" You turned to face him.

"I never told you he was-"

"You think I don't know? You think I'd let anyone like that around my son? Around you?" He cocked his jaw, blowing out a breath as his fingers increased in speed.

"Rafe..."

"You'll always be mine. And even if it takes knocking you up on purpose again, I'll fucking do it-" Your eyes widened in horror.

"What...you- He withdrew his fingers as he dropped that towel and pulled down your panties, all while you remained in shock.

"It was the only way to keep you. And until I can stop "fucking up", this is how it will be. When I need it. And you need to be reminded. There is no one else. For me. Or you." He bent you over he sink just enough to align himself to your sex.

"Stop pretending you'll ever need more." He thrust into you, your fingers at a tight grip around the edge of the sink. He began as violent as possible. Deep and quick as you cried for him, only his name intelligible beneath your pleas.

"Tell me...tell me how many times this week you came thinking of me...just a number." He demanded in breathless strides mads into your gluttonous sex. Swallowing and savoring him only long enough to promote his pleasure while leaving you more desperate. He accommodated this by the tease made at your nipples as he twisted and pulled the sensitive nerves.

"Twice? No, I know you need it more than that...maybe twice a day...bet you were about to do that in that bath...right? Knowing I was just beyond that door but you wouldn't dare ask ..but I know you fucking need it...so take it." He clenched his hand tighter in your hair.

"Maybe if I remind you another way..." You were taken out of the bathroom and into the bed, forced into your stomach. The sound of your bedside table coming open made your stomach twist as you knew what he had been in search of. Exactly what he'd found.

"Still smells like you...I'd say you used it last night, if not this morning. Dirty girl...." He set the vibration at its highest setting.

"You deny this and I finish here..." He explained switching a slap to your ass.

"You come before I say and you will be left so fucking overstimulated that that pogue all the way to The Cut will hear you scream for me...So listen and be good so I can fuck you how we both need. And maybe I'll even let you make me breakfast tomorrow." He winked as he connected the vibrator to your clit.

Everything was too much. His cock set as the pressure inside of you, the vibrations at war with your urge to obey him as he was a man of his word, and the way he smirked against your shoulder as he felt you counter such desperations.

"God, you need it...Oh fuck, you're still that desperate little whore..."

"Please...please Rafe..."

"Oh and you still sound so fucking pretty when you beg. But I think..." He guided you to face him, pulling you to the edge of the bed.

"I've earned a little something...for my patience." You were forced to take him before you could speak. Eyes set to tear as you gagged violently over him. Quick to acclimate, your cheeks pulled into a hollow and your throat opened to him, before you were taken off of the rhythm achieved.

"And you still take my cock so fucking well...now you're gonna ride it to make us both come. Get on top of me." He didn't force or guide you, he wanted you to do this yourself. And just as you had done in every instance, you showed such enthusiasm by positioning him inside of you.

"Please..." You pleaded as he pulled the vibrator to view.

"Tell me what I want to hear and you can come nicely then." When your expression contorted into confusion he would pity you and elaborate.

"Tell me you know I'm it. You don't need anyone else. Mean it."

"Its you rafe. I hate it. But it is ...I need you..." You shuttered at the words were only a verbalization of your body's response and reaction to him.

"Good girl...My girl...ride me like you wanna be mine again and maybe tomorrow you can be." You drove him into you as your nails came down harshly onto his shoulders. The chill that developed down your spine as he smirked to such pain had been ignored by the pleasure his cock left as you sunk yourself down onto him.

A smack to your ass pulled you from your near euphoria as he slowed, "This can be everyday. Just say it." You groaned.

"Say you want me back and I'm yours." You moaned in length over him.

"Tell me and you get to come." You fought this as you knew he would take any mention of possession to heart. But you needed it. The way he clung tightly to your chest by the latch made of his lip around your breasts to the grip made at your ass as he guided himself deeply over you had been enough to take you to that joint high.

"Yours!"

"Good girl..." He smirked. "Now come." The vibrator at your clit sent you to shatter over him. Your orgasm unlocking his own as he pounded into you by burying you into the bed beneath you.

"Rafe-"

"That was for you..." He explained by turning you onto your stomach until your ass was level with his waist.

"This is for me." He announced before taking you this way as well. The same enthusiasm as if you weren't dripping with him. All while he once again got what he wanted.

He always did...

TAGLIST: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlostt @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @camilynn @sweetestdesire @onmykneesforrafe @drews1love @phildunphyisadilf @mashdan0916 @belcalis9503

MASTERLIST

RAFE CAMERON MASTERLIST

2ND RAFE CAMERON MASTERLIST

#rafecameron x reader #rafecameronfanfiction #rafecameron #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron smut #outerbanks #obx #outer banks smut #obxsmut #obx fanfiction #outer banks #drew starkey

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thefallennightmare · 9 months ago

Text

One Night-Valentine's Day special

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Pairings: Noah Sebastian x Reader

Warnings: lots of smut(mask play, spit play, bondage, anal, fingering, oral(m/f receiving), choking, unprotected sex), swearing, angst, fluff.

Summary: Nothing like a little Valentines Day smut for these two love birds!

Authors Note: Since this takes place during this universe, every thing that happened between Noah and Reader is still the same! Just a little pop in to see how they've been doing! Happy Valentines Day my lovelies! I hope you enjoy this little blurb!

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken @malice-ov-mercy @thebadchic @niicoleleigh @lma1986 @dsireland86 @bellaboo967 @cookiesupplier @whenthesummerdies @bngurngheart @laurpartyprogram @thisbicc @lyinginbetween @princessmarshmallowx @loeytuan98 @cncohshit @lacktoesandtoddlerants @notingridslurkaccount @calleyx13 @jessiskyee @mrscevans @spicywhenspeaking @myownthoughts12 @br0kenangel23 @flowery-mess @lizzieseveride @illmakeyousaywow @burning-outx @xhedonistolisx @sinnamongirl @jilliemiw86 @shayzillaaaa @dream-machine-love

“Hi, who can I make this out to?” I smiled up at the person in front of me.

The young blonde smiled wide. “Uh, Jennifer.”

I picked up on her nerves but decided not to dwell on it like I’d done with the other 50 people before her. I opened the book Jennifer lay in front of me and wrote the same message I’d been writing all day.

Jennifer,

Thank you so much for the support.

Y/N.

“Thank you so much for coming out”, I said while sliding the book back to Jennifer.

Jennifer shook her head while clutching the book close to her chest. “No, thank you, Y/N! I absolutely loved One Night. So when you were promoting Always Pretending, I knew I would have another book to add to my TBR list. Needless to say, it’s my favorite book ever.”

My cheeks flushed. “Oh wow. Thank you so much for that, Jennifer. Truly, your praise means a lot.”

With a wave, I continued the same thing for the next long while, signing book after book for my fans. This was the last day in a two-week-long book tour across the United States and to say I was exhausted was an understatement. Not to mention, I had a four-hour flight back home to Los Angeles as soon as I left this bookshop. Jackie, my assistant, knew how badly I wanted to get back home so she booked the earliest flight she could.

It has been like this for the last year ever since I published One Night and now Always Pretending; both books on the bestseller list. While I was thankful for that, I wasn’t thankful for being away from home for so long.

Away from Noah.

Our schedules didn’t seem to match up as of late. While I was away on my book signing tour, he was home resting because a week after I got back home, Bad Omens would be leaving for a round of festivals overseas. Noah wanted me to join him since I hadn’t been in a long time. We’d been dating for almost two years now and I had to miss out on the last two tours because of my own career.

I had every intention of joining Noah now but needed to talk to Jackie about it first. She worked tirelessly to keep my schedule busy and jam-packed to promote my books but in my eyes, they didn't need any more promotion. I’d been working almost nonstop with these book tours, interviews, and not to mention trying to work on my third book.

I needed a fucking break.

I didn’t want it to seem to people that I was complaining because I was thankful for where I ended up. If you had told the girl two years ago who sat on that tour bus wondering if her first book would be good enough to become a best-selling author, she’d laugh in your face.

Noticing that we were dwindling to the last few people, I powered through with a plastered smile even though my eyes were drowning in exhaustion. My phone lay on the table next to me, screen down but kept buzzing against the wood. Jackie went to reach for it but I shot her a look in between signing books.

“I thought you’d want me to respond for you,” she tried to smile.

I bit my tongue, not wanting to snap at the older woman because she was simply doing her job but I knew who was texting me and didn’t want her to see those messages.

“It’s fine, thank you,” I muttered.

Finally, after a two-hour signing, I was finished and shook out the cramps in my right hand while letting out a deep breath. It was almost 2 in the afternoon and my flight left in 3 hours which meant I had to rush across town to make it in time.

“So, I was thinking,” Jackie started as I began to gather my things. “The local news channel would love to have you on their morning report tomorrow. I think it would be great publicity.”

I raised a brow. “You seemed to forget that I have a flight in three hours, Jackie.”

“I know,” she nodded. “But we can move some things around and-.”

For the first time since she took over as my assistant, I said the word that I never wanted to because I knew how important the publicity side of my career was.

“No.”

Jackie blinked. “What?”

I sighed while running a hand through my hair. “Look Jackie, while I appreciate everything you’ve done for me these past few months, I need a break. I’ve been going nonstop since One Night was published. I miss my life back in Los Angeles. I miss my quiet little apartment. I miss my boyfriend.”

Noah’s smile flashed in my mind and my heart yearned to be back with him. About three months ago, he moved in with me but with how busy both of us had been it felt as if we didn’t have time to actually revel in living together.

Not to mention, being away from him for two weeks made me horny as hell. Facetime sex paled in comparison to seeing and feeling the real thing.

“But-.”

I held up my hand to silence Jackie. “You deserve a break as well, Jackie. Take some time off, do things you love. When I’m ready to talk about book three, I’ll give you a call, alright?”

Reluctantly, she nodded while tucking a piece of graying hair behind her ear.

Bidding her goodbye, I threw my bag over my shoulder and then dragged my suitcase behind me to exit the bookstore only to immediately sit in the backseat of the black town car that had been waiting to take me to the airport. Once we were gliding along the road, I finally peered at my phone for the first time in a few hours.

Noah: Angel, I’m so proud of everything you’ve done. Seeing how successful your book tour has been makes me smile. I can’t wait till you’re back home and we can celebrate. I love you so much.

Noah: So, are you going to sign a copy of Always Pretending for me? Since you know, I was your muse for it.

I rolled my eyes with a giggle before replying to Noah.

Me: Oh please, you know I’d sign a book for my biggest fan. Also, I love you too.

As I browsed through my phone, checking my social media and responding to emails, Noah texted back.

Noah: So, we have a problem. I can’t pick you up from the airport because I forgot I had my therapy appointment at six.

My heart sunk to the depths of my stomach. All day I’d been looking forward to seeing Noah’s face as I stepped through the doors of the airport. But I knew that he couldn’t miss therapy. It was more important than picking me up.

Me: It’s okay, love. I can order an uber. I should be back home by 8. Maybe we can have a late dinner together?

Noah: Already taken care of, angel.

With a yawn, I adjusted my glasses as I stepped through the gate doors of the airport, dragging my bags behind me. There was a delay in taking off at the last airport which meant I was now arriving in Los Angeles at 9 p.m rather than 7 p.m. I had to buy wifi on the plane so I could message Noah to let him know about the delay.

Thank the gods I changed out of my professional attire at the last airport and opted to wear my Bad Omens joggers and Noah’s yellow hoodie; his smell still lingering. With my phone in one hand, I was about to order an Uber when my feet skidded to a halt at the sight in front of me.

What a cheeky little…

Noah smirked as he held a bouquet of black daisies.

“Hi, angel,” he mused.

I reached for the flowers and brought them to my nose, inhaling their scent, and then peered up at Noah.

“I thought you couldn’t pick me up.”

Noah brushed away a loose strand of hair from my face. “I sort of lied. I had plans to pick you up then take you out to dinner for Valentine's day but when your flight got delayed, I had to switch things up.”

“So you’ve been waiting here for two hours?” I asked.

“Worth it.”

He shrugged before wrapping his fingers behind my neck to bring our lips together in a long overdue kiss. His tongue immediately molded against mine and I moaned into it, my hand sprawling over his chest. The material of his Hereditary sweater felt warm underneath my palm and I let myself fall into him when his hands grasped my hips.

“I missed you, Y/N,” Noah’s teeth grazed over my bottom lip.

“I missed you too, love.”

With his arm wrapped around my shoulder and other hand holding my bags, Noah led me out of the airport and towards his car parked in the parking lot. Once we were settled, he began the drive back home. I nestled into the passenger seat and let out a content sigh.

“Tired?” Noah questioned with one hand on the wheel and the other resting on my thigh.

“No, surprisingly. I thought I would be but I’m just happy to be back home.”

He brought my hand to his lips to kiss along my knuckles. “I’m glad you’re back too, angel.”

For the rest of the drive home, I told him how the book tour went while he told me what he did the last few weeks. Since it was down time for Bad Omens, Noah spent it either in the gym with Ash or in the studio with the guys.

As we walked down the long hallway to our apartment, another yawn slipped through my lips and I nearly stumbled. Noah chuckled as he wrapped an arm around me to pull me into his chest.

“You should get some sleep, angel.”

I frowned while burying myself into his sweater. "I'm not tired."

His lips brushed along my forehead as we stopped in front of our door and he unlocked it. The darkness of our home escaped into the hallway as I stepped through the threshold and when I clicked on the lights, a gasp fell from my lips.

Matching the daisies bouquet I had clutched in my arms, our entire apartment was littered. Music played softly as I noticed the steaming dinner plated on our kitchen island, candles lit and spread throughout.

Turning on my heels, I gaped at Noah who leaned against the door with a smug smile.

“What is this?” I asked, doing my best not to cry.

“Happy Valentine's Day, angel. I had Jolly set this up for me while we were on our way home. He had to warm up the dinner I cooked earlier but I promise it’s still good,” he said.

My eyes widened. “Oh, I forgot it’s Valentine's day! I was so busy with everything I didn’t get you anything.”

Noah pushed himself off the door and immediately cupped my face so I could look up at him. The hood of his sweater was still pulled over his eyes, chocolate tendrils falling into his face.

“You know I don’t need anything. Just you, angel. But I wanted to do something special for you because you deserve it.”

I left a firm but quick kiss on his lips, muttering against them. “Thank you, Noah.”

He smiled while motioning behind me. “Come on, let's eat.”

“Fuck, Noah,” I moaned when his tongue licked up the patch of skin his teeth grazed.

My nails dragged down his bare chest, leaving red marks along his tattoos, as he continued to slam his cock into me, the couch beneath us scraping along the wood floors.

“So tight. I missed you,” he groaned into the crook of my neck as his hips stilled.

I knew he was close but also knew that he didn’t want it to end yet. What started as a nice romantic dinner turned into a heavy make out session on the couch. Neither of us could wait any longer and needed to be connected once again.

His fingers brushed along the folds of my pussy and I shook with the feeling as he slowly dragged his cock all the way out, only leaving the tip inside.

“Noah,” I whined while raising my hips. “Please.”

His teeth dragged along my nipples. “Please what?”

I raked my nails through his hair and yanked back causing Noah to let out a loud hiss. “Fuck, angel.”

“Stop teasing me and fuck me, Noah. Please.”

My screams echoed throughout the apartment when he buried his cock deep witin me again, his pace becoming ruthless. But our position on the couch wasn’t the greatest, I needed to be able to feel him even deeper. We couldn’t make it to the bedroom when we first started and there was no way I was going to stop this now.

Noah could tell I needed something different because with one strong arm, he lifted me from the couch to carry me over to the kitchen table. I squealed in delight as I writhed in his embrace.

“What are you doing?” I asked as he made me lean back.

He brushed back the sweat slicked hair from his forehead and licked his lips. “I need a taste of you.”

With a tight grip on my thighs, he spread my legs wide apart before he knelt between them. The warmth of his tongue sent shockwaves to my entire system as he lapped up the remnants of my previous orgasm he gave me on the couch and I arched off the table when he began sucking on my clit.

“Shit, Noah. I’m going to-.”

With two fingers spearing me wide open before pumping in fast succession and his mouth sucking on my sensitive nub, I let the shock of my orgasm tear through me with such a force that it nearly took my breath away.

“Such a good girl,” Noah mused while laying a kiss on the inside of my thigh. “I missed the way you taste.”

I only had a few minutes to breath before he was yanking me off the table to now stand on my feet. He patted my ass.

“Lean your hands against the window,” he nodded towards the patio door.

“What-?” I shuffled on my feet.

Noah’s lips attacked mine in a ravenous kiss and when he pulled away, he brushed my arousal off of his lips with his thumb. His bracelet and necklace glinted in the light from the lamppost outside.

“Be a good girl, Y/N, and do what I say,” his voice was as dark as his eyes.

Not wanting to disappoint, I quickly made my way over to the patio door that led out to our balcony and rested my psalm against the glass.Thankfully we shut off all but one of the lights so no one would be able to peer up into our apartment and see what we were doing.

"Keep your hands on the window," he demanded and then yanked my hips back to him so I was bent over.

Nodding furiously, I spread my hands against the window of the patio door when his cocked slipped inside of me again, his name falling off my lips in a prayer.

“That’s right, pray to your king,” Noah rasped as he bit down on my shoulder.

One tattooed arm wrapped around my stomach while the other tightened around my throat to bring my chest against his back, this new angle making my vision blurry. It felt so good, the burn, and Noah knew how bad I needed it to hurt.

He squeezed until I felt the air being ripped away from me, his cock slamming into me with no sign of stopping. He never held back and I never wanted him too. I needed it to hurt, needed it to burn, that I wouldn't be able to walk tomorrow.

When I felt the darkness creeping to the corners of my eyelids due to how tight he was gripping my throat, I let out a choked moan.

“Safe word?” he muttered into my ear before kissing the skin behind there.

Although his voice was soft and concerning, the way he fucked me was completley different.

I did my best to shake my head with his tight grip around my throat. “Keep. Going. So. Close.”

Noah eased his grip a bit so I could take a deep breath before he tightened it again. My orgasm was so close, I just needed a little something to have it wash over me. As my hand moved to my clit, Noah smacked my ass, the sound echoing through our apartment. Instead, his thumb pressed circles against my clit and that was exactly what I needed to let my orgasm finally release from the tightness of my body. I came with such vigor on Noah’s cock he groaned into my hairline.

“Such a good girl,” he praised while letting go of the vice grip around my throat.

Gulping for hair, I nodded. “Yes.”

Nails dug into the skin of my hips as Noah’s pace became even more frantic, him chasing his own release, and I was so far gone in my post orgasmic haze that I nearly didn’t hear the two words he said.

“Wh-what?” I stuttered.

Noah’s hips stilled for a beat before he let out a deep, guttural groan when he spilled his warm release into me.

“Marry me.”

Before my body could fall into a heap to the ground, Noah lifted me to sit me on the edge of our kitchen island. His large hand cupped my cheek so I had no choice but to gaze upon him. His pupils were blown wide due to our actions and his chest rose and fell as he did his best to catch his breath. His warm cum dripped down my legs onto the cold marble beneath me but I didn’t dare think about the mess. I only thought about those two words.

“What did you say?” I asked, still breathless.

“Marry me,” Noah said again without an ounce of hesitation.

Everything around us seemed to fall away, the eerie quiet of the apartment now ringing loudly in my ears. My heart beat loudly in my chest that I could feel it in my throat when I realized how sincere Noah was. This wasn’t a joke, he meant those words.

As if he thought I was doubting him, he ripped open our junk drawer in the kitchen to pull out a small velvet box and my breath caught in my throat.

“Fuck, you’re serious?” I choked out.

Noah smiled wickedly as he opened the box, the light above the kitchen sink catching the diamond almost instantly. The gold band was thin but the oval shape of the diamond almost sat perfectly against it.

“With you, Y/N. I’ve never been more serious about anything,” he said.

My throat burned in the best way. Never in this lifetime did I ever expect to have such a romantic Valentine's Day. Guys in my past never gave a shit, especially Jacob, so to have Noah go all out was something I wasn't used too but knowing he loved me so much made my heart swell.

I began to nod wildly. “Fuck yes!”

With a laugh, Noah collided our lips together in a fever kiss before reluctantly pulling away to slide the ring onto my finger.

“I didn’t mean to have a cliche proposal on Valentine's day. I planned on asking you if you came overseas but I couldn’t risk not asking you before,” Noah explained.

I wrapped my legs around his naked form to bring him closer to me and I hung my arms around his neck. We were still naked and the cool air from the open window brushed along our heated skin.

“I’m coming with you.”

Noah’s eyes lit up. “You are?”

“Yeah, I need a break and now that we’re engaged, I think we need to celebrate,” I waved the hand with the ring in front of his face playfully.

He grasped it to leave a kiss upon the ring. “Say no more, angel.”

My squeals bounced off the walls of our home as Noah carried me into our bedroom to start our engagement celebrations.

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