#I hope to god hes queer cause I cannot defend him if he means the fucking Union Jack

[paulic]

what the fuck did Paul mean by “in another world we could stand on top of a mountain with our flag unfurled”????!!!?? I very much doubt he meant the pride flag but do you mean ENGLAND? DO YOU MEAN THE ENGLISH FLAG PAUL MCCARTNEY??????????????? Do you feel like you can’t admit to being British in this world

[helluva-dump]

Just gonna say it here

As much as I dislike Vivziepop and how much it a crybaby brat she acted in twitter yesterday… can you like not defend right wingers that literally donated to politicians that want to eliminate the right of lgbt people????

Like wtf… is this the hill you guys wanna die on??? Literally defending right wingers that want people like me dead????

Listen I love FNAF but I honestly cannot stand Scott, I see him the same way as Doug TenNapel. Loving their works but that doesn’t change the fact they have harmful politics. Like the dude donated to anti lgbt causes and you call people that bash him “SJWs???” Who the fuck still lives under that mentality???

No Shannon, getting rightfully angry at someone donating to bigoted people and causes doesn’t make someone an “sjw” it’s literally basic human rights.

Yes, he may not react like a baby on twitter like Viv does and I don’t think he deserves to get doxxed and harassed, but that doesn’t change the fact he donated to donations that harmful to queer people.

I swear being a critical myself, I see antis hate shit over the dumbest reasons and now I see some going too far to justify and defend someone that’s a bigot.

The only “sjws” are mainly antis that take fiction too seriously…. Like if you like a problematic character or ship, that means you support abuse and abusive irl 🙄🙄🙄 like god forbid you can’t like blitzo or Verosika because “they do horrible stuff and if you like then your horrible too”

Like holy shit, just because I like a few questionable characters doesn’t mean I support their actions. And this is coming from someone like me who doesn’t like Stolas or Stolitz but just saying people actually support abuse and r*pe is a little out of the line…

Yes, I’m annoyed with how Viv is writing the character and I want her to make them face consequences, but literally getting mad at those that still like some of these characters is honestly childish and you need to touch grass.

And before you call me an ass kiss, I do NOT like Viv. I criticized the shit out of her many times and I don’t like how she works as a “professional”, nor how she treats her employees, giving fans false hopes, and I don’t like Stans that blindly eat shit up and worship her without question.

That being said, the antis getting to the point where they will literally defend a right winger content creator or even get angry if someone likes problematic characters like blitzo or Verosika and call you a r*Pe sympathizer is insane.

If you seriously have this mentality, fucking unfollow me and do not fucking interact. If you actually that queer people are sjws for getting rightfully angry at Scott, please go fuck yourself and fuck off the critical tags.

Your only proving Viv’s point with the homophobia and that’s not fair for criticals that had valid reasons to dislike her, cut that shit out.

[ober-affen-geil]

So I mentioned in my reaction to the Roswell finale that Michael and Alex went through a lot of development this season, and how they both started and ended in different places in respect to the other. I’m going to dig into that here (CW for discussion of abuse and homophobia) but I want to be clear, this is not a post where I will be talking about my feelings on Maria. That will be a future topic. As always if you have questions, ask!

The thing is, neither one of them starts the season in a healthy place. They have both isolated themselves for different reasons and in different ways.

Alex has spent the last 10 years isolating a part of himself. I don’t think he ever denied to himself that he was gay, and I don’t think he hated himself for it either. But his father had made it clear that if he couldn’t beat it out of Alex, he would take it out on anyone Alex went near as well. Alex tucked his queerness out of sight because it was a liability to others, not himself. But silencing yourself has consequences, and a decade is a long time. Alex has never allowed himself the opportunity to reach out and be vulnerable with someone because the last time that he did was one of the worst things that ever happened in his life. He doesn’t know how to.

Michael, on the other hand. Michael spent the last decade just isolating himself. He never had a real home having spent his child hood being bounced from terrible foster care to terrible foster care, and his one family link was shattered when he and Max covered up what they thought was Isobel’s triple homicide. It’s made clear that his and Max’s relationship never really recovered, and while he is still close with Isobel he is having to keep a secret from her. The only connection Michael still feels he has, the one person who still makes him feel at home and loved is Alex Manes. The boy who was kind to him for kindness’ sake.

Then they are thrown together again.

When they have their moment at the reunion (god I will never get over that symbolism) it’s hugely indicative of where they’re both at. Once Michael sees a single spark of the boy he knew he seeks Alex out “somewhere more private”. And he gets closer and closer, magnetically drawn to the one person who he thinks has even a possibility of loving him back. Alex lets him come but makes no real outward move to encourage him. This is his vulnerability, he will not allow access to it easily

But this is Michael Guerin. The boy who saw a part of him he had shown few willingly, and who loved him for it. The man who is looking at him like he still does. If Alex will crack the door for anyone, it is Michael.

Finally Michael can take it no more and throws himself at Alex, desperate in his need to have a connection. @chasingshhadows described it like this: “Michael [leaps] at Alex and [kisses] him like he’s been drowning and Alex is the only air left in the universe“ and damn if that isn’t the best summation I’ve ever heard.

Humans are herd animals, we need social interaction to survive. But Michael isn’t human, he’s part of an alien race that seems to have an innate low-level psychic connection to each other. He can feel the other aliens before he even enters the prison in 1x12, and once inside he can identify specific emotions. Max and Isobel have their own connection, and I’d bet my bottom dollar that had Michael had the chance to grow up with them he would share one just as strong. Michael is not designed to be isolated. And doing so has left him broken.

Alex is the one person who Michael thinks will even consider allowing him in and he clings to him like a shipwreck survivor adrift in a storm. In their moment of peace after their kiss, Michael is emitting relief like a beacon. x

Meanwhile Alex is looking like he is desperately trying to savor every second of this moment with Michael because he knows his walls will come down again when they separate. And they do. The following day, Alex shuts Michael out again. He is compartmentalizing, this is damage control. “What happened at the reunion cannot happen again.”

These are the points where their characters begin. What happens over the course of the season is very real and incredibly nuanced development for both of them.

Alex is methodical and steadfast. He does not act until he is sure of his options, and once he chooses a course of action he follows through. His process with Michael is slow, but it’s there. In the beginning we see him trying. And it’s almost painful to watch because you can tell this is like forcing open a rusted door. (I talk about the early days more here.) First he goes to talk with Michael about if he’s leaving, and that leads to sex. This evidently continues, and eventually he stays the night. It culminates at the drive-in, which in every way is Alex asking Michael on a date. The progress is slow but he is making it. 

The turning point, for Alex, is in 1x09. I have talked about this before, but this is the first time we really see Alex take a stand. He’s been avoiding Michael since he walked away at the drive-in and earlier in the episode he effectively breaks it off with him. Then, after he makes the decision to actually talk to Michael, he nearly backs off again after he realizes that Michael has had rebound sex with Maria. But, and this is crucial, he turns around and says “no”.

This is the moment that Alex decides that he will pursue a relationship with Michael. He knows he loves him, and Michael has made it clear he loves Alex too (I never look away), but until this moment their connection was for Alex a physical one. A cosmic one, but one that makes him feel like he’s being tumbled inside of a breaking wave. He barely knows what to do with that, Alex needs structure. What he is proposing in this scene is to start again from the ground up; to build a foundation. This is healthy. This is how relationships should work. 

The horrific irony is that Michael took Alex at his word in the bar; he has written Alex off as a lost cause. He doesn’t recognize the moment in the junkyard for what it is; all he sees is an olive branch, not the seeds hidden within. In 1x12 when Alex asks if he’s sure he wants to go through with going into the prison, his face closes off. x

Because Alex doesn’t get to ask questions like that, not if he wants to be friends. That’s a question from a lover, not an acquaintance. And it’s what makes the scene at the end so monumental: Michael didn’t see it coming. Alex was forced to show his hand (you don’t tell someone you love them, not on the first date) and Michael is taken completely by surprise. He never considered the fact that Alex might feel for him what he feels for Alex.

But what is more important in terms of Michael’s arc is the (entirely too brief) connection with his mother. It is the second of two crucial turning points for Michael, the first is in the bunker with Max when he insists that Michael is his family and he is not alone. This post does a truly excellent job of spelling out why that is important, so I will move on to the impact of both of these moments.

Michael has spent most of his time on Earth feeling unwanted and unloved. I’ve said before the only person he seemed to think had any amount of genuine affection for him was Alex. And Alex left. Michael has dedicated his life to the goal of leaving this planet in search of someplace where he might be wanted. The conversation in the bunker with Max opened his eyes to the fact that there was more than one person on Earth who loved him. And in finding his mother, as absolutely heartbreaking as it was to see, Michael found his biological family.

He was wanted, he was loved, and she was here. 

Finding his mother on Earth shattered the dream of a homecoming by making it a reality. It grounded Michael, in every sense of the word. 

And this is where we see Michael at the finale. He has finally realized that there is more than just one person he can turn to, he is not alone. And it allows him to process his feelings for Alex in a more healthy way; he was leaning on Alex before because he thought that Alex was all he had. And it’s not that he realizes he doesn’t love Alex, the exact opposite in fact. It’s that he allows himself to look at all of the places where their relationship is tied up in excruciatingly painful memories. 

When he’s telling Max the truth about his hand, he says “Alex Manes’ father.” When he’s telling Max about the other aliens being killed he says “on the order of Alex Manes’ father.” Michael loves Alex. It doesn’t mean that Alex isn’t associated with some of the worst moments in Michael’s life; that’s how trauma works. 

The Alex we meet in the pilot is closed off, shutting Michael out because he’s not used to letting anyone in. By the finale, Alex is choosing to reach out, to talk and actively work towards a relationship. This is healthy.

The Michael we meet in the pilot clings to Alex, mindless of the pain caused by the barbs of these memories because he thinks this is best he can hope for. By the finale, Michael is taking the time to step back temporarily and give himself some space to breath, to heal. This is also healthy. 

These two characters started in two different places and ended in two completely different different places, and it was all done in a way that was not only faithful to the characters but also realistic.

I know people are angry at Carina right now, and I have more than one opinion about some of the things she’s said. But on one point I will defend her until I’m blue in the face; when she said she would bring the queer characters “out of the darkness and into the light” she damn well did.

Maybe I’m delusional, but I still strongly believe Michael and Alex are endgame. Judging by how their characters were handled this season when they get together it will be real, it will be solid, and it will be earned. And boy howdy I can’t wait to see it happen.

[holaafrica]

I call out its complicity in the unjust treatment endured by queer folks, which vary from one geographical location to the next, from one religion to the next or from one denomination to the next. Sadly, I do this much to the chagrin of queer folks who are religious. http://holaafrica.org/2017/09/13/religion-is-complicit-in-homophobia-what-i-wish-theist-lgbt-folks-understood/

Religion is complicit in homophobia: What I Wish Theist LGBT+ Folks Understood

By Joyline Maenzanise

I was born into Christianity; my mother was one of those people who went to church religiously and that way of living was instilled in us from a very young age. I became aware of my attraction towards women in my late teens. At that time, I did not take the feelings seriously; I did not even think they might mean anything more than just fleeting feelings. I was too busy trying to fit into the heteronormative standards which always felt like a taxing competition with other women for the attention of men. Patriarchy! How could I, anyway? Zimbabwe is a generally homophobic country; homosexuality is illegal and it is demonised.

In my early twenties, my attraction towards women became more pronounced and hard to ignore. This started bothering me, especially as someone who was still a Christian. I knew what the Bible says about my sexuality; I had heard it preached about in church or on television. On top of that, I had already had a deacon at the church I once was part of tell me that I was possessed by a male demon. I’m not sure if this was because of my sartorial choices; I wore (women’s) pants a lot.

I began to pray about this; I believe I was praying the gay away.

Still, those feelings for women never went away. At that time, I took that as a sign from the deity. I could be with whoever I wanted to be with. I had moved from Zimbabwe to South Africa when all this was happening.

Accepting my own sexuality has been both a liberating experience and a burden. Being queer made it hard for me to attend the church that I had been going to (His People Church). I remember one sermon where the pastor had even preached against homosexuality. To be honest, I don’t think there’s any other thing that is condemned by these pastors (and other religious person) as much as homosexuality, even though the Bible is filled with many other ‘deplorable’ actions. Anyway, I began to feel more and more out of place and eventually I just stopped going to church.

Being busy with studies also made it easier for me to leave. I was still religious though; sometimes my mentor invited me to her church (I have forgotten the name but it just happened to be a few blocks away from His People). It was great that they welcomed everyone regardless of sexual orientation but I did not feel at home in that place. Maybe I felt uncomfortable with being one of the very few Black members or it could have been the absence of the upbeat vibe that I had loved about my previous church. It just didn’t feel homey, despite being LGBT+ friendly.

I have since dissociated myself from religion.

Though my sexuality is not the reason for this, it certainly is one of the major reasons why I will stay as far away as I can from religion. The move has been, somewhat, freeing because being constantly bombarded with verses that speak against my existence or how I am doomed to an afterlife of suffering in hell no longer sends shivers running down my spine. I’m not even bothered by that!  Right now, I am more concerned about my happiness and living my life (this life) unfettered. Like I always say lately, hell, it if does exist, can wait!

Marriage, family and coming out

I came out to my familyin January 2014. I decided to tell them because I wanted them to know that if I ever mentioned marriage, they would know better than to expect any dowry because I wouldn’t be bringing home a man. I know some queer women follow the tradition of paying dowry to the partner’s family but I have told myself that I will not allow heteronormative practices to worm their way into my life as a queer person. I will not allow how I relate to my partner to be informed by any patriarchal/ cis-heteronormative standards.

I came out to my siblings and aunt (our parents have passed on) in an email because we all live in different places and I just couldn’t wait for when we would all be together. Judging by the current state of our relationships, I don’t know if that will ever happen. Honestly, it was better and safer for me to do it that way because even though I didn’t know what their reaction would be, I anticipated the worst given our religious upbringing and the patriarchal violence that marred memories of growing up together.

I struggled to even come up with the right words to use.

Luckily, I had a queer friend from college who, after I confided in her, told me how she had gone about it with her family. She was fortunate to have an accepting family. That wasn’t the case with me (or many other queer folks). My younger siblings and oldest niece reassured me that all was good. While some siblings chose not to say anything, some said that this was hard for them to accept just like it was hard for me to let them know. My oldest brother decided to send a long sermon on how homosexuality is a sin and that I needed to be saved. It was too long so I merely skimmed through it.  After a few days, he sent he another email checking to find out what decision I had made after his ‘oh-so-loving advice’. I ignored him and every other hurtful email he has thought to send afterwards. It was, and still is, clear that some siblings thought I was seeking their approval when I told them about my sexuality. I didn’t want their blessings; I was merely letting them know.

Preparing them for the possible future.

Since coming out, I have had to deal with a brother who believes I am suffering because I am gay. He seems to have deluded himself into believing that there is no gay person on the face of this earth who is happy and living a fulfilling life. He has even suggested that I find a pastor to help pray for me in a misguided attempt at some form of conversion therapy.

‘Stay away from gay people’, that’s what he’s also told me.

To add to the pain, my mother’s sister sent me a video of an ‘ex-lesbian’ who is now in a heterosexual relationship, apparently in hopes to let me know that I too can change if I am willing to denounce my sexuality and allow the Holy Spirit to change me. Like geez, give a human a break!

Homophobia disguised as love

Some people have said all the reactions from relatives are coming from a place of love. I call bullshit on that. Someone who loves me will accept me the way I am. If there is one thing I have learnt from experience, it is that, sometimes, people give advice not out of concern for another person or their well-being, but because they want to ensure that that person does not step outside of what’s considered ‘normal’ or acceptable and therefore, does not embarrass them or ruin their reputation in any way (by association or relation).

Since dissociating myself from Christianity, I am no longer afraid to question religion. I do not censor myself when talking about religion. I criticise it as the system on which many oppressive systems (which many of us call out with so much rigor) are predicated. I call out its complicity in the unjust treatment endured by queer folks, which vary from one geographical location to the next, from one religion to the next or from one denomination to the next. Sadly, I do this much to the chagrin of queer folks who are religious. I find it really disheartening and very ironic. Before deciding to do otherwise, I would expend so much of my energy questioning the intolerance towards the LGBT+ community of these institutions, being fully cognizant of the Biblical principles they use to justify their stance. I would question these teachings in much the same I criticise the way the Bible seems to glorify suffering or devalue women. Personally, I am not bothered that some religious institutions won’t accept queer folks because I’m not religious. I don’t want to be in those spaces! I don’t want to force myself into spaces where I am not wanted. However, I cannot afford to ignore the intolerance of religion because it is those exclusionary, discriminatory beliefs tend to find their way into other aspects of our lives thus posing a huge risk to the livelihoods of queer folks. My own queerness does not afford me the luxury to disregard this. Sanctimonious sacrosanct

I know I am not the only queer person who criticises religion or expresses their anger at it. People have legitimate reasons for their anger and sadly, this anger often goes dismissed as offensive by those who follow religious practices. I’ve had one queer guy tell me to never talk to him again after I posted a Facebook post expressing my anger at God. Mind you, he felt justified enough to express his intolerance at my anger towards his God (whom he believes is too sacrosanct to be questioned, let alone despised) even when he didn’t even know or bother to understand why I was angry. To top it all off, this was the reaction coming from a queer individual who is in the closet and uses a pseudonym on Facebook. He is in the closet online and offline. Ask yourself- why would someone be in the closet, despite attempts by some folks to convince them that ‘coming out’ isn’t necessary?

Fear. Deep down, the cause of that fear stems from religion. Still, some of these folks defend it and the deities they deem to be ‘loving’.

It is not my desire to strip anyone of their autonomy when it comes to choosing whether to subscribe to any religion or not. I would just appreciate it if queer folks who are religious would be aware of how religion continues to shape other people’s realities. Just because your religious institution has accepted you or you believe your God loves you the way you are, whether you are ‘out’ or in the closet does not mean you get to stifle other people’s anger towards how oppressive religion really is. Some religious institutions are less dogmatic and some queer folks are only fortunate to be part of such institutions. The same cannot be said about those queer folks who have been (or risk being) murdered, those who have been ostracised by their families or communities, those who have lost their jobs or failed to land that job, those who have resorted to (or have considered or consider) ending their own lives, those who now suffer from some mental illness because of the trauma induced by living in a society whose hate or intolerance is justified by religion.

If you have a family that believes in a deity or deities and loves you for who you are, good for you. If your church welcomes ALL, good for you. You are one of the privileged few.

There are other posts about religion and homophobia including this one about how God Loves Gay people and this one about accepting yourself as a queer christian. There are also ones about coming out such as this guide that has helpful tips and also one about how staying in the closet can be an act of self care and preservation. 

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