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lymtw · 4 months ago

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Ex Bf Toji

Yes, you and Toji used to live together, but falling out, splitting up, breaking up, and any other phrase used to signify the separation of two lovers, typically means no contact, for however long. Toji did the moving and you stayed where you were for however long it took to feel okay with not seeing him every day.

He didn't cheat. Toji is many things, but he is not a cheater. He saw no reason to, just like he sees no reason to forget you.

He snuck three things of yours into his luggage, to really keep you with him, because you'll get them back at some point, anyway. He took one of your used shirts, an old photo of you and him, and a pair of your underwear. It'll take three days to get you back—he's sure of it. He won't give all of these things back to you in one go, nor will the three days be consecutive. He's smarter than that. They'll be spaced out as he sees fit. When you least expect it, he'll call or text you to let you know about something that he "accidentally" brought with him.

Truthfully, he felt like an old, abandoned dog, the first few weeks that he spent apart from you. He constantly checked his phone, hoping to receive messages from you. He knew it was delusional for him to expect you to text and call, yet he still waited. He moped around his motel room, unsure of what to do, because you were the one who usually planned everything. You were the one who pulled him along with you everywhere, hand in hand. He never lacked excitement or interest around you and he felt safe, but two months later, as he sits on the bed in the same room with the most unnecessary and foul patterns, there's a gross feeling in his gut. Things are too quiet and he absolutely hates it. The silence gives him headaches sometimes and he devastatingly misses your chaos in those moments. He's stuck thinking about you, alone. He doesn't even feel like leaving his room to buy beer to make him feel less or enhance his emotions—whichever comes first.

You know he got it bad for you, when he preferred to use your underwear over and over to get himself off than let some other girl touch him. A third month passed and he still longed for your touch so damn much. He felt like a horny teenager with the way he treasured the garment he stole from you and touched himself to pictures and videos on his phone. Pictures and videos of you. Dirty ones that you would send him through messages, followed by innocent hearts and winky faces, as well as his own personal collection of ones he took.

He misses your smell, your taste—god, you were everything. How could things get so bad that you ended up apart from each other? He could really use your attention right about now. You don't even need to touch him, your company would suffice.

Your voice comes through the speaker of Toji's phone, his name moaned out shamelessly loud as you cum, your phone's camera capturing the whole thing for him. His heart drops to the depths of his stomach at the sound and he ruins the fabric of your pretty, blue panties, deep moans of your name flowing freely.

Toji is just as shameless as you in that video. He swipes off the old video of you and scrolls back down to the bottom of your conversation. It's a good thing you haven't blocked his number.

Hey, I accidentally brought these with me.

[Images Attached: 1]

I'm in my room if you wanna come get them.

He's the devil for keeping his cum stain out of the picture, because had it been in there... He's not sure you would have accepted to come get your missing pair of underwear.

I'm off in 20. Room 723, right?

You got it, doll.

You hate that you know where he's staying. You hate that you don't tell him to stop calling you doll, but most of all, you hate that temptation got the better of you. This will be the second time you go see him because he has something of yours.

The first time was a month ago, and it was about a shirt. One that you didn't even know you were missing until he texted you about it getting mixed with his stuff. You didn't reply because two months into your break up still felt too soon to be in contact with him, but he called. He called and kept calling until you answered, and every time he called, your heart would start racing at the sight of his name displayed on your screen.

Your first mistake was answering. His voice made you nervous, in a first date kind of way, the way it was so calm and steady while talking. It was like he was calling on his way home to you from a job. You did your best to be mature about it, but your nervousness shone through with every 'uh...' and 'sure, that should be fine' instead of 'yes'.

When you went to go see him, your stomach swarmed with butterflies at the sight of those dark, fern-colored eyes. You were so nervous and Toji picked up on it because of how you made it your job to speed up the process of retrieving your shirt.

He invited you into his room and your second mistake was accepting his invite. You felt strange being alone with him again. Anxious? No. Uncomfortable? Not that, either. More like homesick.

Toji didn't make it any easier with the gaze he had set on you. He observed your face—your eyes, your nose, your lips. He couldn't stop himself from continuing down the path to your body. Your neck, your chest, your waist, your hips—all things he wanted to put his hands on. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears and he could feel his heart thrashing in his chest. Having you so close was a rush. His adrenaline skyrocketed every time you looked into his eyes. He couldn't focus. He felt jittery. At some point, he couldn't take it anymore. With a final stuttered breath, he reached for you, and pulled you into him for a kiss. An aggressive one, that left you breathless and conveyed just how badly he needed you.

You didn't know what was going on, but the feeling was far from unfamiliar. The feelings brought on by this spontaneous gesture, you've felt them more times than you can remember, each time so special. It's the reason for why you struggled to push him away. You struggled to maintain the boundaries that worked to prevent this very thing from happening. You were long gone the moment he put his hands on you— the moment he spun you towards his bed and laid you down. It was selfish on both ends. You were both lonely and touch deprived. It shouldn't have gone further than kissing and some over the clothes wandering of hands, but there was a clear deficit of self control, and because of it, your bodies familiarized themselves with one another, again.

You're now standing outside his door, there to pick up an old pair of underwear that you could have just asked him to throw out. You couldn't lie, part of you wanted to see him, just to make sure he's doing alright since the last time you were there. It's been a little over a month since then. Maybe he has a new girlfriend. Even if he doesn't, you don't want the situation to be misread. You're not together anymore and there's no chance of a reconciliation any time soon. It's just not meant to be, for now.

Toji opens the door and the butterflies start their fluttering in your guts all over again. You don't want to listen to them or your racing heart or the sudden throb you feel between your legs, but he's shirtless.

You clench your jaw to prevent yourself from drooling and remember that you're there for one thing only, and it's not for another fuck with your ex.

"You sure you still want them?" Toji asks, when the silence gets to be too much. He unfolds the blue material to reveal the creamy substance that litters the gusset.

"Uh... yeah, sure." You feel your face grow warm. "They'll be good again after a wash." You take them out of his hands and fold them back up before putting them in your bag.

He leans against the doorframe, eyeing you up and down. He's not being subtle, if he's even trying to be.

"I was thinking of you," he says, once again breaking the loud silence. "You know, when I got them dirty." He nods towards your bag.

"Oh. That's..." you stop mid sentence, unable to find a way to end it. "It's fine."

"Wanna come in? You hungry? Thirsty? Tired?"

"None of that. I should get going anyway. Still need to get groceries for the week." You do your best to avoid letting your eyes trail down his body and hope that he doesn't insist. It'll be so hard not to give in.

"I'm sure you have enough to last until tomorrow. One more day without a fully stocked fridge couldn't hurt."

You sigh. Why does he always have to make it so difficult to turn him down?

"A glass of water would be nice."

He hums, satisfied by your response. He takes a few steps into his room, allowing you to walk in. The second you shut the door, he's right behind you, his front flush against your back, pinning you to the door. He bombards you with his touch.

"Knew you'd come, mama. Fuck, I missed you." He's kissing your neck, pulling up your shirt to feel your soft skin beneath his rough palms.

"T-Toji, what are you doing? I'm not here for this." He ignores you and keeps kissing your skin. "We can't do this, again. Last time was..." He's stretching the collar of your shirt to expose your shoulder, where he presses more kisses. "I-It was the last time. We can't."

"We can," he counters, sliding his hand down the front of your pants and into your underwear. "I miss you, baby. Don't you miss me?" He purrs into your cheek.

A sharp gasp leaves you with a brush of his fingertips against your clit. Your hands go to the door to keep you stable.

"I'm not fucking anyone else. Are you?" He asks, watching your reactions to the languid motion of his fingers against your clit.

"Mm-mm," you hum, eyes shut as you shake your head against the door.

"Say it," he mutters, into your ear, pressing his lips against the spot beneath it. His free hand rides up your torso, going up towards your chest. It goes beneath your bra to grope at your breasts.

"Fuck, Toji... No, I'm not sleeping around."

"Yeah? That's good. I'm glad."

"You were an asshole," you say, your voice low. "I shouldn't even be l-letting you touch me." You feel like you're crumbling. You're trapped between him and the door, as well as stuck between pleasure and rationality.

"You know i'm sorry, and you're an angel for letting me touch you after so long. Don't run off so fast like you did last time." His lips go back to devouring the skin of your neck, littering it with marks that will make you think of this moment when you look in a mirror.

"F-Fuck, i'm gonna cum. Gonna-"

Your legs go wobbly and you press your hands more firmly against the door to try and hold yourself up. Toji's arm tightens around you, supporting you as he works you through the intensity of your orgasm. Your whimpers and moans are heaven sent. So sweet and entirely dedicated to him.

"Come on," he mumbles, pulling you up straight, onto your unsteady legs. He turns you around so that he can hoist you up by the backs of your thighs, and as if on instinct, you wrap around him. Your arms are wrapped around his neck, your legs around his waist. It's so strange to feel his warm, bare skin against you, again. Your face is buried into the crook of his neck, like when he would pick your sleeping body up from the couch and carry you to bed.

He sets you down and pulls your shoes off, throwing them somewhere in the room, carelessly. With impatient breaths, he's back on you again, kissing you, and feeling up the body he grew accustomed to holding, but was now deprived of.

"Fuck." He pauses. "Take it all off, baby." He presses chaste kisses onto your lips as he pushes your shirt up, further directing you to undress yourself.

You feel ridiculous for having followed his directions so unquestioningly, but there you are, naked for his eyes, hands, and mouth.

"What are you doing?" Toji asks, confused at the sight of you on your stomach, your face buried in the pillow.

You turn your head to the side, to not muffle your words. "I don't wanna look at you."

"Why's that?" He traces your spine with his fingers, lidded eyes following the invisible trail. "Don't tell me you're still feeling guilty over last time."

You shake your head, wordlessly. You have nothing simple and quick to respond with.

"I wanna look at your pretty face."

You shake your head, again, and he knows he's going to have to melt away your stubbornness. You're not like this. You know he doesn't fuck you like this, ever. It's the first unfamiliar thing to occur since you started talking and since you agreed to meet up and it doesn't sit well with him.

His hands start at your hips and ride up your waist, merging onto your back, going up towards your shoulder blades. He knows of your weakness for when he says things straight into your ear. He has confirmation of this from just a couple minutes ago, when he had you against the door. It brings out a range of emotions from you, but ultimately, it gets you to mellow down a little.

"Let me love on you properly, mama," he starts. Your heart races at the feeling of his breath against your ear. You're throbbing with every deep-voiced mumble and his weight on you again. "Wanna take care of you, pretty girl. Must be so tired after a long day, huh?"

You sigh, releasing some of the built up tension in your body and nod.

"Yeah... I know, doll. Let me make it better."

Just like old times. You miss those days when your schedules aligned and you got to meet at home once you both finished work. It was always a race to see who got there first, but there was never an actual winner when the first thing you would do was shower together. Toji went in before you every time to rinse off the nastier splotches that littered his skin and you joined in on his mark. All the weariness and tension melted away when the water ran down your bodies. These were moments where you were so in love with him. Time slowed down through pressurized squeezes of his rough hands on your weary, smaller muscles, and your softer hands on his more defined and prominent, yet, still aching ones. There were also those delirious, casual conversations that bounced between being so tired that you could sleep together through the rest of the day, but also being so hungry that you could eat a family pack dinner, together in one sitting.

That is why you don't want to look at him. All those memories will come back, again, at the sight of his handsome face. You miss him, too. Your love for him hasn't been completely disposed of, but there's a reason for why you're in his room and not your shared home. Your schedules were unaligned for too long. You barely ever saw each other. You only saw him for brief periods of time in the morning and at night and your days off didn't coincide with his. Date nights became a rarity. Maybe once every couple weeks, you would go out to a place with a peaceful and quiet atmosphere, so that you could get a few hours to remember that you still love each other. Suddenly, he has spare time and it's so hard to deny him when he wants to spend it with you.

"Baby, please," he says, following his words with a kiss to your temple. You let out a deep breath and take a second before you start wiggling under his weight. He scoots off of you and allows you to do what you need to do. Once you're on your back, he wastes no time crawling onto you, again, to begin his worshipping of you.

That warm feeling you used to get around him is slowly seeping back in with every kiss he plants on your face and your neck. The way his hands smoothly glide over your body strangely makes you think of more aggressive times, when he would be so impatient, handling you so swiftly, just wanting to mold his body into yours. The scratches and crescent indentations his blunt nails would leave on your skin from the intensity of it all—you can't forget them.

He nears your soft, warm, blank chest. It's not like he didn't trust your word, but now he has visual evidence of how you weren't lying about not sleeping around. If things hadn't fallen apart between you and him, your chest would be littered with his fading marks on it. You're long due for a round of semi-permanent kisses.

His lips mouth at your chest, wet kisses being spread all over it. You instinctively let one of your hands come up to the back of his head, your fingers coursing through the dark locks of hair. He tries not to react so desperately to the feeling, but your touch is addicting. He doesn't want you to stop. No one has touched him like this since you and it really shows. Between the endless contact of his lips on your skin, layered with soft sighs and the constant caressing of your body, you can tell he's just grateful for being able to have you like this, again.

"You miss my chest?" You ask, acknowledging the amount of time he's spent on the area. He's been leaving marks left and right, between your breasts, on them and beneath them, too.

"All of you, not just your chest," Toji responds, before latching his lips onto one of your nipples. Your other one is handled by his fingers until he gives it a turn in his mouth, his fingers going to the one he just released. He loves being able to feel how your chest puffs and dips with every breath, and how it stutters with the swirling of his tongue over your buds.

"Toji," you call, breathily. Your hand lowers to the nape of his neck, meeting the tips of his hair that graze it.

He releases your breast with a quiet pop, pressing one more kiss to the glistening peak before tending to your call of his name.

"I know, doll. Feeling sensitive?" You nod, in response and he cracks a grin. "It has been a while... and I don't blame you, but you don't answer the phone enough." His kisses start, again, down your body—starting between your breasts and traveling down your abdomen. His lips paint your stomach, unintentional heart resembling marks formed through short-lived stinging sensations. "Can't do this for you if you don't pick up the phone. Just for a few minutes," he purrs, kissing above your navel. His hands cup around your hips, his thumbs massaging the area while he trails his mouth even lower down your body. "And if you don't wanna hear my voice, just answer my messages, mama. It's so fucking simple to get me next to you."

You shudder when his breath fans over your pelvis. Goosebumps rise over your skin all over again and your heart drops when green, lust filled eyes hold your gaze, pinning you down. You squirm beneath his unwavering attention, losing the eye contact battle when his hand goes to your thigh. You see the faintest sign of a smug grin once his eyes refocus on your body.

"How'd you get this gnarly bruise?" He asks, lightly running his fingers over a purplish yellow splotch on the lower part of your outer thigh.

"I ran into the corner of a table. I was in a rush."

He hums, disapproving of your reason, but nonetheless leans forward to kiss it. It brings him back to when he would walk into a room right on time to catch you groaning in pain and flipping off the coffee table while muttering curses, after ramming your knee into the corner of it, or when you would open your mouth in a silent scream after knocking your elbow into something and hitting your funny bone. He really considered putting guards on all the corners in the house, because of the constant bruises he found on your pretty skin.

"You gotta be more careful, doll," he says, kissing the blemish once more before continuing up towards your inner thighs. "Can't have you wearing this pretty body down with so many bumps." His breath grazes the space between your thighs, again. His attention goes from your glistening cunt, to your unsteady chest, before landing on that needy expression on your face that makes his cock twitch.

"You look so pretty." He drags his fingertips through the wetness of your slit, watching the adorable way your stomach quivers at the contact. "So wet over the way I kiss you up," he says, hypnotized by the way your slick connects his fingers to you with every up and down gliding motion. "You're precious, ma. Look at that... You're drooling so much, already." He drags a knuckle through your slit.

"F-Fuck." You shudder beneath his teasing touch. "Please. Toji-" you cut yourself off with a moan when his mouth attaches itself to your throbbing clit and his middle finger slowly sinks into your slick hole. Your thighs twitch in Toji's hold, the pleasure intense with all the fresh stimulation offered by him.

"Sweet as ever," he murmurs, pulling his finger out of your now twitching hole, to suck your juices off. He watches your face contort as two fingers stretch you out, now. Whimpers and moans are released with every curl of his fingers and with his tongue going back to your clit, you can't help all the squirming you're doing. Toji knows your body as well as he knows his own. Those hips rolling against the mattress and your back arching is a sign of your quickly approaching release. The fact that it's happening so fast is endearing to him. You really haven't been touched in a while and he loves being the only one you've allowed to replenish your level of physical intimacy.

You don't even warn him when you cum. Your notice is a sharp gasp, followed by the sweetest moans he's ever heard. Your overload of wetness coated his fingers and dripped onto his palm. Toji watched through dark, lidded eyes, as your chest heaved and your brows pinched with pleasure. Your bitten up lips parted to release heavy breaths and whines of satisfaction. He stopped before the overstimulation could make its way to you, pulling his cum coated fingers out of you and lifting his mouth from your clit.

While he did enjoy being a little mean and overstimulating you back when you were a couple, he knew this was not a moment for that. He said he was going to love on you and he planned to follow through with that.

"Fuck." You sigh, extending your arms above your head, before stretching your body. You groan as your chest rises and your back arches before releasing the tension, a giggle homing into Toji's ears once you settle again. Within seconds, he's face to face with you again, his body invading the vacant space between your legs. His hands go to your wrists, crossing them above your head.

"What are you giggling about?" His nose is centimeters from bumping into yours.

You giggle even more at his proximity and the sly smirk that plays on his lips. "Mm... just came all over your fingers within like two minutes," you mumble.

"You did, huh?" He says, squeezing your wrists affectionately.

"Mhm," you hum.

"That still doesn't break the record," he adds.

"No... It doesn't." You say, through a laugh.

A tension-riddled silence follows, longing looks exchanged during the stillness of the moment. Toji uses his control to lean forward the rest of the way to kiss you. The kiss is soft and slow, despite the way he keeps your wrists pinned, a visual that shows your surrender to him.

He hums against your lips, breaking the lip lock with a quiet smack. "Can I put it in?" He asks, leaning back to see your response.

"Yeah, okay," you say, blushing, but nodding to double confirm.

He releases you so he can remove his boxers and finally release his aching cock from its confines. He's been hard this entire time, but your needs were put ahead of his because, like the last time, he initiated this.

Toji sighs, feeling his cock throb and twitch at the thought of being in your incomparably soft and warm walls, in just a few seconds. As he drags his tip along your slit, he can't help but think about how this would be the first time he has sex since you last let him touch you, a month ago. He might cum as quickly as you did, maybe even quicker.

He keeps a hand on your stomach, rubbing as an act of comfort, as his other hand guides his tip into your hole. He pushes in, keeping his focus on you as he slowly feeds his length into you.

"Fuck, doll. Doing so well. Almost there."

You never get used to the initial stretch. It's not unbearable and you know it's worth it, so you deal with the short amount of discomfort.

"Oh fuck, it's in," he says, mentally relieved that he didn't cum early. You both let out sighs.

After a couple minutes of getting comfortable and picking up a gentle pace, things were good. Quiet sounds of pleasure took over the room. This time isn't as aggressive as the time before. Last time, things happened in a flash. One moment you were just talking, the next you were being fucked incoherent, and before you knew it, you were getting dressed and leaving Toji's room with the most guilty feelings.

This wasn't that, at all. He wasn't slamming his hips into yours or pinching your waist between his hands. His thrusts were paced, like he wanted this to last a while, and he touched you with the gentleness of someone who, wholeheartedly, isn't over you. Someone who still holds an immense amount of love for you.

You're not faring any better, than him. You find yourself wanting to bring him closer. You truly want him all over you. The second you extend your arms towards Toji, he's leaning closer towards you so you can touch him. Your hands make contact with his shoulders and he gets immediate goosebumps. He's working to suppress the groan that's paired with the chills that run down his spine, when he looks at you from this proximity. You let your hands glide up to the nape of his neck and you pull him into you for a kiss. Your cunt flutters around him when his lips move against yours in synchrony, his hips continuing their languid pace. His kisses always leave you breathless, so you end up having to be the first to bail, when you can't compete with his lung capacity. He continues kissing your face, groans released into your cheek and jaw, while you gasp and whimper over his gentle precision.

"T-Toji... Toji- Fuck."

He hums into your neck, his lips brushing against it immediately after. "Miss you... so... fucking much," he pants. "Please..." his voice lowers, and his lips move towards your ear. "Please, baby."

His arms cage you in and you feel smothered by him, like you're drowning in him. He's all you know in this moment. His body, his voice, his touch, his smell. All you can do is feel as he thrusts into you, repeatedly reaching that part within you that renders you the most perfectly behaved angel for him. He can feel the way your chest jolts with every hitch of your breath. He can hear your stifled hiccups up close, as he murmurs needy words into your ear.

"You..." he pants, a subtle groan caught by your ears. "You heard me, right, pretty girl?" He presses a kiss to your earlobe, awaiting your response. You nod, a sultry hum being the only sound you manage to let out. You clench around him, briefly, but long enough for his hips to stutter. "Fuck..." he sighs, burying his face into your neck, again. His hips pick up their pace a little, luring a sharp gasp and a moan out of you. "I-I need you back with me. Miss you lots," he says, muffled by the delicate skin he nibbles on.

"I-I know. I know, Toji. You're not the only one."

"So fucking come back to me, already. What are you doing?"

"Gonna cum. I'm gonna cum," you blurt, writhing beneath him.

"Keep squeezing me like that and you're gonna make me cum," he grunts.

"T-Toji, please," you whimper, the sensation of your nearing orgasm growing stronger. "Toji," you cry out once more, before your wetness gushes out, coating his unrelenting cock.

"Shit," he hisses. He barely has time to watch you when he's on the verge of spewing into you with every clench of your velvety walls. A few seconds pass, and with stuttering hips, a tensed abdomen, and gritted out, breathy curses, he fills you up with his cum. Ragged breaths are released into the air, his chest rapidly rising and falling with every inhale and exhale. He pulls away from you, his eyes glued to you as you work on recomposing yourself.

You're lucent in his eyes. The layer of sweat that coats your neck brings attention to the harsh marks he left on your previously untraced skin. The prettiest blush remains on your face, and those slightly parted lips look so appetizing. The sight is hauntingly beautiful.

"Take a picture, it'll last longer," you tease, feeling him still silently watching you.

He snickers. "You're gonna let me take a picture of you like this?"

"Nope. I was kidding," you say, smiling as you sit up. Toji catches you eyeing your pile of clothes and speaks up before you start reaching for it.

"Can you not get dressed, yet? Stay a little while, yeah?"

Your heart drops at the question. You tell yourself over and over that you won't be spending the night with him, in an attempt to convince yourself that after the worst that can be done with an ex has already been done, this is nothing to worry about. What's another hour spent lying next to him in his bed?

You thought that's all you would be doing together, but then you ended up showering together. His attempt to help you get cleaned up made you crave another round, which he happily indulged in. After that was when you finally lied in bed together and you really didn't want to leave by the end of it all. It was already nighttime and you had gotten so comfortable, almost forgetting that you weren't home with him. Everything smelled like Toji, even you. He kept you in his arms as you discussed the future of things between you two. A weight was lifted off his shoulders when you implied that there's still a chance.

You did decide to drive home that night and when you got there, you sat in your car, just thinking about what happened, for way too long.

The third and final day came some weeks later. You got better at responding to Toji's messages and his phone calls. Things seemed like they were rekindling between you two.

Hey, can you come see me today?

I'm not in the mood for sex, if that's what you want me there for.

You know that's not the only reason I want you. Come over.

I won't touch you if you don't want me to.

Say something.

Respond.

Oh so you don't want me to get there safe? I'm. DRIVING.

Fuck, doll. Scaring me for nothing. Drive safe.

On the drive to his room, you thought about the conversations you've had with Toji on the phone, these past weeks. Some were short and straight to the point, while others didn't allow you to put your phone down for more than three minutes. His indirectness was usually the cause of longer conversations. He didn't want to seem overbearing, so instead of saying he missed you, he would ask if you had eaten. Instead of saying he missed spending leisurely time with you, he would let you know that that one cheesy movie you like is playing on one of the TV channels.

It was sweet until nighttime came and the messages started straying from innocent longing. Conversations where he was telling you about how much he missed sleeping next to you, turned into him saying that he couldn't sleep because he wasn't holding your chest and smelling your hair. Minutes later when your phone rang, you panicked. You wanted to hear his voice, but you knew better than to try and hold an innocent conversation with him when the messages that preceded the call weren't innocent. You let the phone ring for a few seconds, but the second you heard him, you felt so many things. His voice was so deep and he sounded tired and your heart was beating way too fast. You were feeling things that contradicted everything that made you hesitant to answer his call. With every word he spoke, your mind flooded with sinful thoughts that made the space between your legs viciously throb. Maybe you were glad he was feeling this way from the start, because his voice, his words, and the sounds he made alike, all ended up getting you there.

Muscle memory got you to Toji. You were zoned out the entire time, remembering those texts between you and him, that had you giggling to yourself like when you first started dating. You were in shock when you turned into the parking lot, realizing that your mind was so occupied with Toji, that the drive seemed shorter. You walked right up to the door with the, now familiar, bold 723 on it. A few seconds went by before the door opened. Toji held the door open for you shutting it when you made it into his room.

The first thing you noticed was that he had tidied up quite a bit. It almost seemed like he had just arrived to the room, no clothes on the floor or empty food containers on the counters, but his bed wasn't made and his drawers had unfolded clothes hanging out of them. He's been like this since you lived together. It's just a habit that refuses to die.

"You made a copy of this photo?" You ask, picking up the picture frame that rests on his nightstand. You both looked annoyed in the picture. The photographer kept pestering you to get your picture taken on your date and you had politely declined so many times, but he kept insisting, so you and Toji decided to just get it over with. The photographer said 'smile', and he laughed nervously when you both kept a straight face. He gave up and snapped the picture like that.

"Nah, that's the original. It followed me here, like your clothes."

You snicker, eyes still focused on the way Toji put his arm around you in the picture. "Clothes seem a little more reasonable to haul along by accident, but this was in a box I keep hidden on the top shelf of the closet."

"It's not really hidden if I found it so easily."

"People who don't snoop around wouldn't find it as quickly."

His hands go to his pockets. The urge he feels to hug you from behind to look at the picture with you, is heavy. "It's not snooping if we used to share the closet. When I was packing my stuff, I tried not to leave anything behind, so of course I was gonna check every crevice of the house."

You put the picture down and turned to look at him.

"That was pretty selfish of you. Taking my things, but not leaving a scrap of yours behind."

"Yeah? That was selfish of me?" He grins. "You wanted me to leave something behind?"

"At least a button or... I don't know, one of your sweaters."

"A button or a sweater." He hums like he's in thought. "That's a big jump, doll." He sits down on the edge of his bed with a sigh, a small lump of his blanket flattened by his weight.

"We made a big jump, Toji. One minute we were doing stupid shit like that." Your hand aims towards the picture of you and him. "The next..." you take a deep breath and your brows pinch slightly. You don't want to get emotional. Just thinking about crying in front of him makes you anxious.

His eyes soften, slightly. The mood has shifted and you're tense. It's not how he thought this would go, but he's going to try and make it better anyway. This is it. You have to reconcile by the end of the day.

He pats the spot next to him on the bed, successfully bringing you closer, even if you were off from where he wanted you.

"What we did was hard," you start, again. "You think I didn't miss you as soon as you left home? Or that I was living happily without you, when I didn't answer your messages or calls?" You shake your head. You're trying to hold back your more distracting emotions, but your eyes are starting to feel watery. "No. My head hurt for so long, I didn't want to see anybody, and the worst part was that I couldn't stop thinking of you. It was the epitome of a crushing break up... and I needed you, but I wasn't sure if you would be around. It's what tore us apart in the first place."

Silence fills the room. You feel dumb for spilling your heart out like that. You fold your hands in your lap and hope Toji has something to say in response to your word vomit. Anything, at this point, to slaughter the increasingly, discomforting stillness in the room that is making you want to cry even more.

"I didn't know you missed me, 'til you started meeting me here." He turns his head to look at you. You're still looking down at your lap, fidgeting with your folded hands.

"Yeah, that's not something you say to someone who just became your ex. It would have made things harder on us."

There's another gap of silence while Toji calculates his words. Watching you continue your anxious mannerisms always made him nervous before. It's no different now.

"What if I said I have time for you, now?" He keeps his eyes on you, hoping to see a glint of light in your expression. "Things can go back to the way they were before."

"That sounds good and all, but will things stay that way when we start getting comfortable again? Say... a month from now?" He immediately nods in response. "How about three months from now? My days off are always gonna be the same, and yours-"

"I'll mute Shiu on your days off. No jobs on those days."

You look at him, unfolding your hands. You're not as nervous anymore, now that the talking is back and forth. "You always make exceptions. You've done it before, Toji, and I just don't want to feel second to your work, again. It's the only thing I kept myself out of when it came to you, because I know how... abnormal it is, and look where that got us."

"Listen, i'm serious about making time for you. I've been doing pretty good so far, don't you think?"

He has been. Otherwise you'd be spending your day off cleaning your place and figuring out what to make for your dinner for one. You were off the day before, too, and he called you halfway through the day, on his way back to his room.

"Yeah. I guess you are doing a lot better," you admit.

"Good enough to give it another go?"

You're the one who goes quiet this time, uncertainty coursing through your mind. You really want things to work, but it's scary. Words and these little check ins are all you can go off of, for now. You don't know how it'll be if you officially get back together.

You nod. "I think so. It's been a few months, now. Things do seem better."

He slowly released the breath he held in after asking the question. "Really? You mean that?"

"I do." You give him a soft smile that he feels he hasn't seen in so long. He can feel his heart accelerating, like a kid being returned their favorite toy after being grounded.

"Can you show me you mean it?"

"How?"

"You're sitting so far from me. Come closer," he says, patting his thigh.

"What?" You laugh. He has to be joking. You're literally two feet away from him.

"Come on. Sit with me."

He doesn't seem to be letting go of this, so you scoot even closer to him. With the assistance of his hands on your hips, he uses them as leverage to lift you onto his lap, to bring you as close to him as he can. He looks you straight in the eyes, his green ones so brilliant and warm, you would think he's about to profess his love for you for the first time.

"You got me. What is it, Toji?" You're blushing due to the gesture, a reaction that makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

In one swift movement, his face is buried in your chest, his bulky arms lowered to wrap around your waist. Your eyes slightly widen at the spontaneity of the gesture, instantly softening when he starts talking.

"I felt like I was going insane, mama. I didn't wanna go." He pauses, the warm scent of your perfume working to calm him down. The back of your shirt is tightly wound around his hands. You can feel cool air against the slivers of exposed skin—a contrast to the warmth of his breath on your chest—but you hold him close. "Let me come home or stay here, just don't stray from me."

The mood shifted, again. He felt small and vulnerable, but he needed you to understand that he had feelings about leaving, too. Had things gone the way he planned them in his head, he wouldn't be uttering his sentiments into your chest. You would be watching a movie together, while cuddling and kissing, and overall, making up for the deep affection that was missed during this period of separation, but you have a strange way of making him want to be entirely honest with you.

You cover him up while he clears his mind. This is between you and him. Nothing else matters when it's Toji rambling on about how you've ruined solitary life for him. He can't do it anymore and you're entirely to blame, because you put him on to your hugs and kisses, and you tell him all the things he needs to hear and sleeping is entirely possible with you. He's addicted to you, and it's not hurting anyone, so he can't find a reason to give you up.

You sat in that position for a few minutes. Silence returned, but instead of it being awkward and uncomfortable, it was entirely welcomed. Toji was so comfortable. He could have fallen asleep like that, but you shifted in his lap and pulled him out of his idle state. He was entirely at ease when he lifted his gaze to look at you. Your expression was gentle on his eyes, unspoken forgiveness so clear.

"Come home, tomorrow. No, today. I was thinking about how you're not packed and you still have things scattered. I can help you get it all-"

He cuts off your rambling with a kiss, then another, and then one more. "Nah, i'll come back for my things, tomorrow. I just wanna go home with you, ma."

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lucienarcheron · 8 months ago

Text

Heading Straight to You [ Elucien ]

Inspired by @washmchineheart elucien post here. I went a little nuts in the tags again and needed to write it out. A little Bridgerton-inspired Elucien, if you will! I hope you all enjoy it :)

Genre: Angsty/Romance | Masterlist | AO3

shoutout to @zenkindoflove for letting me talk it out with you :)

Gods, Elain had never been so angry in her life.

He had sent her a letter.

A letter.

The nerve of it made Elain snarl under her breath as she stomped towards his humble abode in the Night Court, her anger increasing with each step she took; she was glad Feyre had the foresight not to ask questions when Elain had stormed out.

Elain wasn’t foolish. Did she even have a right to be this angry? Probably not and yet she was simmering with rage.

She knew she hadn’t made things easy for him. Hadn’t really given him too much of a chance to get to know her. But she had been trying.

Yes, she was still hesitant and careful and awkward around him. With everyone watching their every move, how could she not be!

But for him to send her a letter? A letter! As if it would be so easy to answer such a question. As if he couldn’t even dignify her with a face-to-face conversation.

Elain was in front of his home and pounding on his door faster than she expected.

Lucien opened the door with a mildly confused expression until he saw that it was her standing before him and carefully arranged his features.

Elain could only hold up the letter, fuming at his calm demeanor.

“I see you received my letter.”

“How dare you.” she spat.

Lucien narrowed his eyes before silently stepping back and opening his door further, gesturing with his hand for her to come in. “A note with your answer would have sufficed.” he said blandly. “You didn’t have to come all this way to break the news to me.”

Elain didn’t move from his doorway. “Is this some kind of joke?”

Lucien lifted a brow at his mate, a muscle flexing in his jaw before he answered, “Why would it be a joke?” he asked. “Is there something about my letter that was unclear?”

“You sent me a letter.” she snapped.

“Yes.” he said again in that bland tone that Elain wasn’t used to and did not appreciate. “Though I fail to understand why you seem so upset by it.”

“You’ve barely spoken to me in the last few weeks and instead of trying to have a conversation about this in person, you sent me a stupid letter asking me that?”

Lucien watched her as she watched him, noting how his grip had tightened on the doorframe. “Why would I seek you out when the moment you know I’m in the city you hide away or make an excuse to avoid me?” he asked curtly. “I’ve been polite about it enough, I think.”

He stood before her, dressed impeccably as always, his expression now stoic like he hadn’t sent her a devastating question to answer. It made her want to throttle him.

Elain scoffed then opened the letter, gripping it tightly as she read it aloud,

My lady,

As you may have noticed, the communication between us has continued to dwindle and at this point, I will not continue to delude myself into thinking you have any interest in seeing what could be between us. I have given you as much grace as I can extend, but I am reaching a limit that is impacting my own well-being. Please know that I understand we do not owe each other affection but I had thought we at least owed each other a conversation to see if we could be, at the bare minimum, friends. You don’t seem inclined to want that and as such, I am sending you this letter to ask you a question that will release us both from this limbo we’ve been left in.

Do you wish to sever the bond between us? If so, please let me know. A simple yes will be enough.

Regards, Lucien Vanserra

“Regards!” she snapped. “This is not the kind of thing you ask someone via letter.”

“Again, you’ve never stayed in the same room long enough for me to ask for a conversation.”

Elain flushed. He was right, of course. She couldn’t really deny that this was one of the things she was stubborn about.

And at first, she was overwhelmed. And sad. And trying to find herself again. Now…now? She wasn’t even sure. She was nervous. Embarrassed. Lost.

He worked his jaw as she glared at him then gestured again to his home. “Would you like to come inside and discuss this?” he asked. “I don’t think this is the kind of conversation we should be having where we could be overheard.”

Elain scoffed and moved past him, shoving the letter to his chest as she stomped into his living room and tried not to think about the brief contact she made with his chest.

She wouldn't think about that at all when he was asking her to cut ties.

“You care if people overhear us but are fine to send this in a letter.”

“And?” he asked, his tone sharper than it had ever been with her as he joined her in his living space. “I’m happy to give you an additional night if you’d like to think about it but given the way you’ve actively avoided me for years and barely speak in my presence, I would’ve thought you’d be jumping for joy at the chance to say yes.”

“Oh, and you know me so well to anticipate what kind of responses I would give you?” She asked, her tone veering on a sneer that she had never heard herself use.

“Considering you act as though I’m a parasite here to infect you, I made an educated guess based on the very loud thoughts you yell my way from the noose of a thread wrapped around our throats.”

Elain pursed her lips, the angry flush on her cheeks deepening. “So you admit it’s a burden and not a gift?”

“It is a gift but if you don’t wish to see it that way, I am not a male who forces his company on anyone and I am sick of waiting for you to grow a spine and request to cut the ties between us.” he snapped quietly. “You toy with me and my time. One day you grant me a moment of your company, the next you pretend I don’t exist. You may think I’m a statue with no emotions but I can assure you, my lady, I can only tolerate so much. This has gone on long enough.” Elain watched him with narrowed eyes as he adjusted his stance, his gaze burning a hole through her body. “So I’ll ask you again, do you wish to sever this bond between us?”

Elain felt her body heat and if she could burst into flames she would.

Yes, she’d been resistant. Yes, she’d avoided him.

But gods, he really had no idea.

She had been human. She was going to be married and had a whole life planned out. She wouldn’t have these powers that she had no control over. She wouldn’t have these nightmares of being kidnapped in the middle of the night. Her brain wouldn’t have to keep reliving the horrors of the cauldron. She wouldn’t have to keep pretending she was fine.

It wasn’t even him that was the problem. It was everything else. It was her life being snatched from her. It was her choices being stripped away as a casualty for a war she had nothing to do with.

It was that he had been nothing but polite to her since they met despite her avoidance.

It was that this bond made her hate herself for staying away from him because every fiber in her body only urged her to go to him instead.

“You think it is so easy to sever this bond?” she hissed, glaring at him. “I’m not a fool – I understand the consequences that would follow such an action. I won’t be responsible for what happens to you.”

“Don’t pretend you’re worried about me, my lady. If I am to lose my mind at the expense of you being free from the shackles that tie you to me, I will do it.” he snapped. “If only to stop feeling like a beggar for scrapes at your feet.”

“I never asked you to wait.”

“Your problem is that you barely speak to me, much less ask for anything.”

“Well I never asked for this!”

“And I never asked for you.”

Elain recoiled like he’d slapped her and a pregnant silence filled the room. She could only stare at him and her chest suddenly ached.

He’d never taken such a tone with her. Then again, she’d barely allowed him to converse with her.

Elain worked her jaw, the thundering of her heart pounding in her ears and all her senses couldn’t help but focus only on Lucien. The scent of him. The way his gaze bore into her, his mechanical eye clicking as they faced each other.

She could resist him all she wanted, but Elain had always known that whatever her fate was, it would always find her and Lucien Vanserra had been her fate since the Cauldron spat her out to start this new life.

They orbited around each other enough that Elain knew no matter what she said or did, she knew exactly who would haunt her thoughts the moment she lay in her bed. She could ignore him all she wanted but thoughts of her mate would consume her every moment.

“For someone that doesn’t want me, you certainly don’t act like it.” she breathed and she had never seen the expression of disdain on his face aimed towards her as he scoffed.

“For the record my attempts to connect with you is what trying looks like. It is you who does not want me.” he retorted. “I have done nothing but give you space as I expressed interest in getting to know you at your own pace time and time again. It is you who has never taken a moment to even see if whatever this is between us is worth exploring. And now I am sick of waiting.” He took a step towards her, anger radiating off every inch of him. “So answer me.”

“Do not demand things from me when it could –.”

“Answer the question and free me from this torment.”

“Free you?” she bristled and took a step towards him. “You think it’s torment for you? You think I want you to feel this way? Do you think I want to feel this way?”

“And what way is that, Elain?” he hissed and the sound of her name from his lips nearly made her shudder.

“You think I want to be consumed by you? Sensing your every move?” she breathed. “You think I want to think about your arms holding me at one of the most traumatizing moments of my life? You think I want to think about how the sound of your heartbeat has been the only way I can allow myself to sleep? You think I want to think about how overwhelmed I become with your scent that if I don’t remove myself from the room immediately, I’ll do something reckless that I know I’ll regret?”

“Oh? And what reckless action is that?” he sneered. “If it’s a stab to my throat, you’d only be putting me out of my misery.”

“Do not pretend that severing this bond will change anything about the way your presence clouds my judgment and jumbles my every thought.” she snapped. “Do you think there is a single corner of this land you could go to that wouldn’t feel like you’re taking my very breath with you? Do you think distance would free me from the torment that being around you is?” Elain closed the distance between them and jabbed her finger into his chest. “You – you – you are the curse of my fae existence and despite all my resistance – you – you –” She took a shaky breath as she stared at him, the confession she’d been so desperate to keep secret slipping from her lips, “Are the object of all my deepest longings.”

Her lips trembled as she watched his hands slacked at his sides, his expression falling into surprise but Elain couldn’t bring herself to say anything else.

How could she make him understand?

Love was something Elain had always craved. The courtship. The romance. The yearning.

If the circumstances had been different – if she had met Lucien before Graysen – the idea of a soulmate was exactly what she wanted. Feyre had explained it to her so well and mates was something a hopeless romantic like her would’ve waited for. Would’ve craved. Someone who was her equal. Someone who saw her and loved her, flaws and all.

Instead, Elain had been a human girl who had fallen in love with a human man who threw her to the side the moment she no longer fit the mold he needed her to. She held on to their short-lived romance, to that engagement as a way to keep the last shred of her humanity in any way that she could. She could hide her ears and fight against her visions. She could resist this bond as long as she could.

But her fingers were bloodied and bruised from how hard she was holding on to something that wasn’t meant for her. She had been trying to shove the door closed on Lucien for years and the door refused to shut. Whenever Elain tried to approach him and see if there was something there, it scared her. It terrified her to feel the way the thread at her ribcage tugged her towards him. To know that everything she’d had before was a waste.

And now she had confessed just how much he affected her and her cheeks flushed at the shell-shocked silence between them. She had stunned him into silence and had just opened her mouth to spew more at him when a feral look overtook his face and Lucien leaned closer to her as if he couldn’t resist being in her space.

“You think you don't haunt my every waking moment?” he growled and Elain’s brows narrowed, her expression hardening at his tone. “Do you think I have known peace since I've met you? If I am the curse of your existence, you are the catalyst that blew up my life and yet— I can do nothing but yearn for you.” Elain felt her chest rise and fall rapidly as he seemed to breathe her in, barely any space between them. She watched as he worked his jaw, glancing down at her lips then meeting her gaze again before saying, “If I am the object of your longings, know that you have infiltrated my every breath – my every thought and I have never been so thoroughly intoxicated by anyone the way I have been by you. And I can do nothing but let myself drown by it.”

A heart beat of silence passed. Then another.

And Elain felt hot and cold at the same time as a heated silence enveloped them and she couldn’t help but stare at him, taking in his features so up close, even as anger stood between them. She licked her lips as she stared at him and watched as his eyes flashed, the flush spreading to her neck.

Was there a point to her resistance then? He clearly had no qualms the way she did but –

But Elain was sick of thinking and overthinking. She was sick of it all.

How dare he ask her that question then proceed to confess such feelings to her?

Lucien’s lip curled, despite the stain of red on his cheeks. “Is there something else you’d like to spew –”

“Shut up.” she snapped and before she could stop herself, Elain yanked him by his tunic and pulled him down to press her lips to his.

The very air between them came to a halt and it was like the world had tilted on its axis.

Their kiss was an eruption of fireworks – a dam that was now flooding and the very blood in her veins was singing. Lucien seemed to hesitate for a breath then his hands immediately wrapped around Elain’s waist and she allowed an arm to slide around his neck, pulling him even closer as the kiss deepened.

And it came to her with alarming clarity exactly how foolish she had been the last few years.

She had been holding on to the idea of what Graysen had given her when kissing him was nothing compared to Lucien’s lips on her now.

He was the light – he was the sun and Elain felt her body glow as she sank quickly into his flames as every inch of her craved more, more, more.

His kisses were just as hungry as hers, soft noises slipping from her before she could stop them and her embarrassment was only soothed by Lucien’s matching groans. Before either of them could stop, Lucien had Elain pressed against him as he lifted her and turned swiftly to seat her on his dining table and she let him. She let him stand between her legs, her dress riding up as he leaned even closer, every inch of their bodies touching as his mouth caressed her lips in kisses, nipping, and biting in a way that told her he wanted to imprint his lips on hers and gods, did Elain want him to.

Elain was nearly clawing at his back with how tightly she was gripping him as he stole her breath away and she wondered if she had ever actually experienced passion before this moment.

“Stop – thinking –” he demanded between kisses, his hand sliding to the back of her neck and squeezing gently.

“I’m not –”

“Don’t you –”

“Lucien –”

His lips mapped out a path from her jaw down her neck with a swiftness that made Elain’s breath stutter and she wanted more – more that he provided her with when his lips found hers again in a searing kiss that had her seeing stars.

She felt that tug of fate between them. She felt that magic.

Elain’s hands traced his muscled back, tugging on strands of his hair as he stole more and more kisses. She didn’t know what to do with herself but let him – she let him take what she’d been so reluctant to give and Elain – gods, she felt and wanted and needed –

A crash startled them both to a halt and they turned as one to find the source of the noise – a vase lay shattered on the floor.

Elain blinked at the sight of the familiar flowers that had scattered. Those were from her garden.

And it was like a bucket of cold water had poured over her when she glanced back at Lucien, both of them breathing hard.

She could only watch him and think about the feeling of his lips on hers, the way his tongue had tasted hers, and the way his hand was touching her skin.

She could only think about her flowers in his home and her expression shuddered as her heart began thumping so loudly. She had been so angry with him and yet she’d been the one to grab him and – embarrassment suddenly coursed through her and she fought to keep her expression from falling.

As always, he seemed to sense the change in her emotions and his expression shifted as he slowly released her and carefully assisted her to slide off the table without looking at her. Her pulse fluttered nervously as she watched him back away a step, taking a deep breath and Elain quickly straightened herself, running a hand through her hair. She licked her lips, feeling the ghost of him.

“Well.”

Lucien stole a glance at her and she watched as he shook his head and turned away from her, his fists clenched at his sides. “I’m sorry.” he said tightly and Elain’s brows furrowed.

“For what?”

Without looking at her, he gestured around helplessly. “You may have initiated it but I allowed it and it’s in exact contradiction to the question I wanted an answer for.” he muttered. “I am a gentleman but I fear that whatever shred of sanity I am holding on to is hanging by a thread around you.”

Elain bit the inside of her cheek, observing the way he was holding himself. She was sure he felt the way their bond was taut at their proximity, in the aftermath of their kiss.

A kiss she would surely be thinking about more later.

“I’d think what just happened would answer your question.” she finally allowed herself to say and Lucien half turned towards her.

“You say that but how do I know you won’t go back to avoiding me?” he asked. “How do I know it meant anything more than a moment of curiosity for you?” Lucien turned away from her again, tension lining his back. “Anger brought you here. Anger I’m not sure I even understand. I only ask that you don’t toy with me. Please.”

The embarrassment that had washed over her earlier was nothing compared to how she felt now. How it felt to feel his own embarrassment and discomfort sit in the air between them.

Had she really been that cruel? Had she been so self-absorbed that she hadn’t taken that much time to consider what all of this had done to him?

She frowned. Elain wouldn’t deny it had crossed her mind but Lucien had always done a decent job of keeping his emotions in check around her that she didn’t…feel the need to dig deeper. She was stuck in her head, worrying about herself enough that she didn’t try to venture outside of her own struggles.

She’d been too busy pretending she was okay.

Shame coiled in her chest and she felt her shoulders droop.

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad about yourself.” Lucien said quietly, his back still to her. “I just…can’t keep doing this. This limbo will drive me more crazy than severing a bond ever could. Especially now…now that I know what you taste like.”

Elain’s hands tightened in the folds of her dress and she suddenly felt the urge to cry. Gods, she really had been thoughtless in coming here. She had been angry that he wanted to sever a tie that she herself hadn’t tried to explore further. Out of fear. Out of cowardness. Out of sheer stubbornness.

Did she just assume he’d lie in wait for her? Who was she to drag someone along in such a way? She hadn’t asked for this but neither had he and Lucien had been more patient with her than most would be.

He knew how she felt. He could probably sense more about her mental state than anyone else could and maybe that was what terrified her so much.

But it certainly didn’t excuse her choices.

A heart beat of silence passed then Elain swallowed and finally whispered, “You’re right.” She took a breath then added, “I’m sorry.”

Lucien seemed to stiffen and she watched as he clenched his hands at his sides then unclenched them. “Is that your answer then?” he asked quietly.

Her heart dropped. “No!”

Lucien turned around to face her with furrowed brows. “Then what are we doing, Elain?”

She licked her lips again and curled a strand of hair behind her ear. “I – I don’t know.” she answered and knew she couldn’t be anything but honest with him as he watched her, his gaze burning through her.

“Then tell me why you came here. Tell me why my letter made you angry.”

She pursed her lips and her throat bobbed. Again, she forced herself to be honest.

“Despite your belief that I only avoid you – which I did for a while, I don’t deny that –” Elain began slowly. “I had been slowly working my way up to reaching out to you for a few weeks. I was – am hesitant about it because of the time that has passed between us.” She glanced at him and her cheeks flushed further at his gaze. “Your letter came and caught me by surprise.”

“Did you think I would wait around forever?” he asked softly and though his tone wasn’t accusatory, Elain felt the shame sit heavily on her chest.

Her fingers tightened again in the folds of her dress. “No.” she answered. “You have no obligation to do so.”

“No, I don’t.” he answered carefully and Elain tried not to let herself deflate at the turn the conversation had taken.

“I – I understand.”

“Do you?” he said with a strained laugh. “Because I don’t.”

She bit her lips and flushed deeply when he squeezed his eyes shut and took a breath. “Now you understand how I feel.” she whispered. “How my brain behaves when it comes to you. I am lost and confused and embarrassed and I – I –” Elain looked away from him, her hand on her throat as she fought the onslaught of emotions. “I am overwhelmed.”

“Why?” Lucien asked gently.

“Because you’re supposed to be my soulmate but to me, love is a choice and I didn’t choose this.” she confessed and Lucien blinked then blinked again.

“I understand why it doesn’t feel like a choice.” he began then tilted his head observing her. “But what we do with the mating bond is a choice. We choose to accept it. We choose to adjust it. We choose to – to sever it. We can choose to make it whatever we want.”

It was Elain’s turn to blink as Lucien continued with a small, albeit sad smile. “It only requires a conversation.”

Elain suddenly felt the urge to vomit right all over his lush carpet. “Fate doesn’t feel like a choice.” she whispered and the beating of her heart seemed to increase as his gaze softened on her.

“I’ve always found that fate is what you make of it and that is always the right choice.” he replied.

A sense of unexpected relief seemed to wash over her at the understanding that now sat between them. She hadn’t known what to expect when she made her way over to him. Her irrational anger had fueled her steps and now…now Elain felt relieved. Calmer, albeit still a tad embarrassed.

But she had needed this. They had needed this.

They observed each other in the silence and Elain let herself see him for who he was. She let herself take in his handsome face and broad shoulders – she allowed herself to catalog every inch of him. She should’ve done it sooner.

“So…” she began softly. “Where do we go from here?”

The corner of Lucien’s mouth lifted slightly. “That depends. I still need a clear answer to my letter.”

Roses bloomed on her cheeks as she said, “Is it still not obvious at this point?”

“A simple yes or no will do, Elain.”

Elain’s eyes narrowed slightly at Lucien and though his tone was teasing, his gaze was not.

So she cleared her throat before primly answering, “My answer to your letter is no. I do not wish to do that.”

A pleasant tension filled the space between them as they stood a few feet apart as though they hadn’t been drawn to each other from the moment they’d met those years ago. As though they hadn’t just had their hands all over each other. As though their lips hadn’t only just tasted each other and were already tingling, craving more.

“And…does that mean you wish to spend time actually getting to know each other?” he asked carefully.

Elain’s throat bobbed. Maybe it was time they finally explored what the Mother had given them. Maybe it was time she stopped being so stupidly afraid.

“Yes.”

Lucien slowly nodded. “Good.”

“Great.”

“Then you owe me a date.”

Elain blinked rapidly. “Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Lucien said and at her expression, his lips twitched – and it was like all the anger and discomfort that had been between them earlier had simply washed away. “You owe me a date.”

“I do believe I am a lady and ladies are meant to be courted.” she said with amusement. “Unless fae customs are different and I somehow missed the memo.”

“Oh no, my lady – that is the typical structure.” he said and the smile he gave her was the most fae-like expression she’d ever seen. “However, you missed the memo where I have attempted to court you in the past and you shut me down at every turn.”

Elain made a noise of protest but Lucien held up a hand. “Please Elain, I need you to keep it together. There is no need to rush with a proposal at this time.”

Her expression flattened but her mate only smirked at her. “Feyre did warn me that you have an obnoxious streak but I didn’t think I’d see it so quickly.”

Lucien snorted. “Bold of your sister to say that considering who her mate is.” he said and Elain’s lips couldn’t help but twitch. “Regardless, I do expect you to woo me properly.”

“Do you, now?” she asked with a raised brow and Lucien’s response was a small smirk.

“But of course. I look forward to seeing what you can come up with.”

Elain could only shake her head in disbelief and they stood in that comfortable silence for a moment before Lucien gestured with a hand to the living room.

“Would you like to stay for a drink?” he asked quietly and though Elain did wish to stay, she knew she needed to process what had just happened between them.

So she shook her head with a small smile. “Don’t you know? I apparently have a date to plan.”

And as she sat at her desk later that evening, she thought about how she had left his home feeling lighter than she had in a long while. She thought about the smile he had given her as they said goodbye. She thought about how he had walked her to his door and felt his eyes on her the entire way home.

It only seemed right that what started with a letter should continue with one and so, Elain sent him one of her own that same night.

My lord,

I would like to know if you would humble me with your presence and accept my invitation to dinner this Thursday at 6pm at Servanda’s Resturant. Your charm and chivalry have caught my attention and it would be an honor to spend the evening with you.

Please let me know your response at your earliest convenience.

Yours truly, Elain Archeron

His response came an hour later and Elain nearly walked over to his home to truly throttle him.

My lady,

Thank you for noticing my charm. I have no doubt that you are already enamored by me.

As for your request, I will think about my availability. Please note my preferences for sunflowers to roses and plan accordingly.

Yours truly,

Lucien Vanserra

Elain scoffed at his audacity then chuckled softly; it wasn’t like she didn’t deserve his teasing.

Noticing a small arrow on the bottom of the letter, she quickly turned it over to find an additional message and for the first time in a long time, excitement bloomed in her chest.

PS. I’d be delighted. Thursday night it is.

#elucien #elain archeron #lucien vanserra #elucien fanfics #pro elucien #gfics #fic: heading straight to you #I was listening to Adele's Sweetest Devotion and well :)#happy monday :)

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dilutedconfusion · 5 months ago

Note

I love the way you write! I love Kid! I need Kid!! 😩

Anyway, happy to rewad whatever you write, but if this request inspires you, by all means, I would LOVE to read it.

I'm thinking about some protective, possessive stuff! Reader gets kidnapped and subdued. Or gets beaten, life hanging by a thread.

And Kid just goes ape shit. NSFW obviously because Kid is going to rip some troaths and all that protectiveness makes reader a little crazy.

Does this tickle your fancy? Writer's choice on everything, really. I would just love a crazy protective Kid.

Kudos for all your work and thank you for sharing your talent! 👏🏻❤️

I’M SO DEEPLY SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK ME. I don’t know how long this request was sitting in my inbox but I APOLOGIZE and I hope this fic makes up for it 🧎‍♀️

OKAY besides that you didn’t have to be that nice 🫵 Like seriously making me blush and stuff you’re so sweet ilysm🤭 And since I literally cannot control myself I went a little overboard. I wasn’t planning on writing so much and I wasn’t planning on making it so intense I suppose. But you asked for possessive, life hanging by a thread, kidnapped scenario so here you go! I should’ve made it more NSFW in the more sexual way less gore way. But alas this request is more horror and fluff than anything. Oh and I also made the pronouns gender neutral because you didn’t specify so I hope that’s okay with you! I need to write more gender neutral readers anyways so it was a good excuse. I hope you enjoy it!

Shades of Red

Eustass Kid x GenderNeutral!Reader

Summary: You got kidnapped by bounty hunters. Suffice to say you and Kid aren’t taking it very well. Kid goes a little crazy and does some particular bloody things. It has a good ending though so no worries👍

Horror?? And Fluff I suppose.

Warnings: LOTS of explicit gore and blood.

Word Count: 8.1k

Water was thicker than blood.

Well, you had always known that. From your first cut as a child that was an otherworldly sting. It had felt so foreign from your previous non-existence. Pain was juvenile to you. Something to be feared in its unknowing nature. Something that would stain clothes. Stain water.

There was specific soft vignette of red reminded you of the way light looked behind your eyelids. Warm with light yellow tones around the edges. The tingle of your smooth skin left you to almost sparkle. A man adorned in all shades of red as if it was the only color that fit him.

As if it was the only color you ever wanted to look at. A color you desperately tried to view positively despite what was happening. Despite the splatters around you.

You hadn’t felt the sun in a while. Skin growing paler and colder with each passing night. The sun was a mere sixty feet above you since the earth swallowed you whole. An insistent dripping against your scalp made you want to snap your jaw in half. Digging into your skull to rip out the part of you that could still feel.

A puddle of water lay at your feet. The water from the unstable ceiling would constantly drip downwards. Drifting onto the chains that held up your arms to keep you on your knees. Swirling down your bruised wrists and dripping from your elbows. Going down your spine with a consistent cold shiver running through you. Your eyelashes dripped like crystals as your head hung low. Watching the water drip off your chin or the tip of your nose.

The puddle of water beneath you was stained red. Letting you watch as your blood swirled in its mirror-like gaze. Face to face with yourself until another drop landed and ripples formed.

The same sight over and over again. The same pain over and over again for what felt like weeks.

But you knew it hadn’t been that long despite how the hours crawled forwards. It took a lot of work being captured but at least the water kept you clean.

Your kidnappers wouldn’t want their little plaything any other way.

There was no enjoyment in watching you bleed if you were already bloody. They liked to start a fresh slate to give the blood some contrast.

Nothing has been explained to you. Not a single peep of why you were here, what they were trying to achieve, and why they decided to keep you alive. Any person who walked through the iron door in front of you stayed close to silent. Only opening their mouths to give orders or berate you. Those orders were always just to eat your food under the watchful eye of a guard. To get up and follow them to the bathroom during scheduled times. Not another beaten to near-death person in sight. It seemed like it was just you and them down here surprisingly. Either that or they wanted to make it seem that way. There wasn’t even a request made or some form of labor being put onto you.

You always listened because frankly, you had no other choice. These chains were tight and you were always guarded. As strong as you were, you were still weak. And as smart as you were, you had made the horrible decision to venture off on your own.

Some stupid fucking idea Kid would’ve called it. You could hear his yelling and screaming over you now. Pacing the tiny cell and telling you how much of an idiot you had been. How he had ordered you to stay with your assigned group on this last mission. That he expected more from you and he’d never seen you act this stupid. How he would leave you behind next time because he didn’t want to deal with your shit anymore.

Yet he cried the first time you got badly injured. Held you like a baby and took you to the infirmary just to scream and break an innocent chair. You never took his fits seriously because underneath it all you could feel guilt coming off him in waves. You could see the fear fermenting in a supposedly fearless man's eyes.

You supposed that keeping you captive, keeping you docile enough to not try anything, was a way to lure Kid into some kind of trap. He was a man with a high bounty and a lot to lose. And they must’ve guessed his lover was something worth fighting for.

But it had been too long and your throat grew tired of screaming and cussing out the world. They had you locked up tight, underground, on an island you traveled to by boat with your head stuck in a sack the whole ride there. Every box was checked off when it came to the perfect kidnapping. Nobody had even seen it happen so they had to have left some sort of cryptic note for the crew to find.

Or at least you hoped so.

There was a slim chance that they had no idea what happened to you. That this place was just a pit stop until you got sold to the Celestial Dragons. Or maybe until they worked out a deal with the navy for your head.

You desperately pleaded and hoped that these people were greedy. That whatever amount of money the dragons would pay or the small sum of your bounty wasn’t enough for them. They wanted Kid and all his other higher-ranking members so at least they would know where you are. They would be coming after you.

Yet thinking like that kept you in a whirlwind of guilt.

I fucked up. I deserve to die here. They shouldn’t…no…they can’t get involved in this. Their dreams are too important to get caught right now. Right when we were so close.

At some point your pain, your suffering, and self-loathing almost became…comical.

The mirth of it came out in crazed laughter. Looking down at yourself in the puddle's reflection as your laughing permanently bounced around the stone walls. A big smile on your face yet your eyes were screaming. Leaving an ominous, nearly insane echo to be heard throughout the facility.

The room was small and enclosed around you. Your eyes were dizzy as the world spun. Before the weight of reality struck you again, bringing you down from your manic high. Heart beating in your ears as you gasped for air, tears streaming into the bloody puddle once again.

Pain wasn’t juvenile to you anymore. But the more you lost yourself, the more you started to wish it were.

—————

This pain was juvenile. New and fresh despite being torn from an old wound. As if someone had dug into Kid's brain just to remind him of exactly how it felt to lose. Exactly how it felt to be hopeless once again.

He thought he would’ve known what to do, how to handle this. And for the most part, he did.

But in the empty cold spaces when no one was around. Whether that was the bathroom, his room, or the silent deck in the night, he broke.

There was no more sucking it up, no more biting his lips, no more anxious scratching of his skin or grinding of his teeth that could save him from the way he felt.

It should’ve been me.

Oh, how he wished he was angry and dare say he was. When Dive had informed him that you weren’t with her. That during a raid in your small group off in the safer corner of the fight, away from him you, had disappeared.

Just poof into thin air without informing anyone of where you went.

He had lost it.

That village burned that night. Warm fires in every inch, every crevice, and every person mauled. Each one of them did not know what happened. Not a boat spotted leaving the island. Not a single trace of where you had gone.

That anger hasn’t stopped. It’s still just as potent, just as ferocious and terrifying. More blood-curdling and scream-inducing than hell itself. Kid had felt more people's bodies go cold in his grip in the last few days than he had most of his life.

He wanted to feel it. He wasn’t killing for convenience so an annoying crowd surrounding him would break. He wanted to hurt people, to kill the right person as brutally as he could in case they had any chance of being involved with your disappearance. He took down that village of thugs, burned and quartered every man on a passing ship, and started bouncing to all the nearby islands looking to do just the same.

But so far he’d come up empty. Not a sign, not a note, not a welcomed reunion between the two of you. He’d walk into a building or down into the deeper levels of a ship screaming your name. Eyes blurring to find no one but the dead. All that hope in him snuffed out to embers. His crew watching little parts of him die.

So amid silence, when the pain that he should’ve been handling, that he should be familiar with resurfaced, he cried. He’d kneel over on the floor or press himself against a banister to weep. That low rugged voice gasping for air as he struggled not to choke. Wiping his eyes, his hands reaching out and grasping at the air for childlike comforts. The remembrance of your soft skin dancing along his fingers. Your soothing voice told him that it was going to be okay. He could nearly see you in front of him. Those eyes of yours filled with so much love for a fool like him. His chest hurt so bad he could feel bile building up in his throat. Swallowing it down through wet sniffles and snot-covered lips.

He was a mess. If he didn’t find you soon…he didn’t know what he would do. He wondered if you left on purpose. That you didn’t love him anymore and left without saying anything. Without taking any of your belongings because you were so utterly desperate to get away.

Finding his touch disgusting, his love suffocating, and his personality exhausting.

He wouldn’t have blamed you if that was the truth. It took a lot to love someone like him which is why it's never happened before. At least not in a romantic way.

He never told anyone that he thought this. Because he knew that they would all brush it aside. Saying that you would never leave him and you were far too in love with him to do something like that. But the idea dug in like a lobotomy through his eye. It was piercing him until he tore apart into someone he wasn’t. His face just shards in a broken mirror.

He needed to know what had happened even if you did leave on purpose. Because on the chance that you didn’t, that someone had hurt you, then there was a price to pay in blood.

And Kid intended to squeeze out every last drop of it.

—————

It had been a normal day underground.

The newspaper was in his hand as he slumped slightly in his chair. The hallway is just as cold as ever. The watch on his wrist ticked and the camera's persistent red light monitored the area.

He knew he couldn’t doze off. After the captives' recent round of hysterical laughter, he knew they were on edge. Of course, he had solved the problem as was ordered. Bringing earplugs just in case the laughing kept going on but the brass knuckles seemed to do the trick. But of course, he and the other men had made a bit of a mess. The whole room smelled of copper from the blood and could nearly smell it oozing out of the cracks of the door.

It was as if it was still painting his skin with that lovely shade of red. Darkened and dried into the cracks of his hands as he washed it off. Now leaving him without a trace, hoping to chase that high again despite this person being ‘precious cargo’.

Though you couldn’t have been that precious considering they were pawning you off to the navy. They usually wanted all bounties dead or alive. But this was a special case where the navy wanted you alive for questioning. And that no matter how much his boss wanted to, they couldn’t question the captive under certain terms. They were bounty hunters, not pirates, so any shred of information about this big-shot Eustass Kid was like gold to them.

I don’t know why we’re not interrogating them anyway. They already look like they're losing a couple of screws, might as well dig deeper and see what pops up. It's not like the navy will figure it out.

He let out a little grunt of anger, flipping to the next page with a grimace. His boss was a careful man with very specific plans. Finding this little victim perfectly alone and ripe for the taking was a strike of luck. But because his boss was always prepared for an opportunity, they snatched you up while on the run off an island. Taking to sea as a raid ensued and followed suit to their hideout so hidden not even the town uptop knew about it.

They had done this before and they would do it again. There were even a few other inmates locked up in different sectors. They were never allowed to see each other just in case they tried some kind of revolution. So they all roamed the halls and went to the bathrooms at different times. It was the perfect kidnapping scheme. Letting them slowly rake in the big money without putting themselves in danger.

He heard a rattling of chains from inside the room. Starting slow but slowly getting a bit louder. A light rumbling came from it as the unstable ceiling pinned with metal to hold up the chains groaned.

He slapped down his newspaper in his lap, turning his head towards the door with a yell. “Shut the fuck up in there! You need something, you're going to have to wait for it!”

He turned back to his newspaper letting out a little groan as the rattling stopped. Not a single word came through the door so clearly it was for nothing.

Goddamn, I swear they just do this shit to mess with me.

He shifted a bit in his seat to get more comfortable. Smacking his lips as he eased down. Taking a quick look at his watch to check how long it was until they were given another scheduled bathroom break.

An hour? I swear if this motherfucker pisses themselves again I’m going to hose them down till they bleed.

Another grumble of annoyance rose in his throat. Rolling his eyes a bit as he scratched at the back of his head. Suddenly he heard the same stupid chain rattling. This time much louder and quicker as it scraped and groaned at the ceiling. Cracking his jaw before slamming down his newspaper on the floor and getting up. Opening the small slot just at eye level to look inside.

“I swear to fucking god if you don’t quit that shit right now say goodbye to food for a while you piece of shit!” He watched you with a burning in his eyes. Your face tilted downwards towards the floor like always. Unresponsive and half-dead looking from all the wetness crawling over you. Like some sort of bog demon rattling at the chains and tugging on them incessantly.

He slammed on the door trying to gain your attention. The loud metal banging didn’t make you flinch in the slightest. “Hey! Do you hear me right now you crazy bitch? If you don’t stop I’m coming in there and you know what that means.” He nearly growled, his voice presently hungry for another beating session.

You didn’t stop, if anything you made it worse. Flinging your weak body a bit as you gripped onto the chains. Putting your weight into it so the metal slammed against itself. The stone ceiling crumbling a bit as a rumbling ensued.

“God fucking damn it!” He screamed, his slightly sweaty hands gripping the key on his belt. Ripping it off him, he undid the latch and pushed the door open. His feet walked over blood stains and wet puddles as he latched the keys back on. Cracking his knuckles as he hovered over you. “Is this what you want?! Wanna feel my fucking hands beat into you?!” He quickly grabbed you by the hair tugging your face up to look at him. Your face vacant and almost lifeless.

You finally stopped rattling the chains and pulling at them. Hands falling limping and racking against the cuffs. He held his fist in the air ready to punch you. Looking forward to that sweet silence he oh so craved. But for some reason, the rumbling didn’t stop.

Your chains had already stilled. The ceiling still shaking slightly and sprinkling dust. A crescendo of rumbling shooting across the floor and up into his bones.

He looked up and around the room. Still holding onto your hair tightly as he tried to figure out what was going on.

Is that an earthquake?

But the rumbling got louder. Nearly chattering in his skull. His grip loosed slowly, letting you set your head down but you didn’t. You stayed looking up at him. Sweat was building in his palms when suddenly the lights went out all at once. Sharp static flickers and fuses snapping in time.

But then rumbling stopped. Filling the room with a dark silence so thick he felt like he couldn’t breathe. Grabbing onto his flashlight at his side he felt this horrible feeling of anxiety growing in his gut.

I’m fine. Everything’s fine. We’re prepared for an earthquake and this power outage is probably just part of it.

His thumb traced over the button to turn on his flashlight. But through the open door, he heard it. His body freezing in place as if he was frozen in ice.

It was screaming. Not just a light yell of panic or someone barking orders. It was true blood gurgling screaming coming from somewhere in the facility. Echoing off the stone walls as he slowly turned his head around. Pointing his flashlight at the cell entrance before flicking on the light.

It quickly filled up the space with a warm circle of light. But instead of the light shining onto stones in the hallway, it hit something else.

A wall of blood in the shape of a man.

Bright and rich in color it reflected into the guard's eyes. It was visibly dripping and he could nearly feel the heat coming off of it. Not a spec of skin or clothing was visible from how thickly it managed to glob onto his wide demeaning chest.

The guard blinked as if caught in a dream. His mouth moved to say something but it was far too dry. As if all the life had been sucked out of him at that very moment.

He saw some sort of metal arm on the monsters left-hand side. His eyes carefully tracing down it in the dark to spot the shiny glimmers of blood of what looked like a human spine in its grasp, half of it trailing off onto the floor. The bones cracked loudly under his grasp, making the guard flinch backward, almost stumbling into you behind him.

The man sucked in a gasp of air. Tears filled his eyes at the horrid monster in front of him. Tilting the flashlight upwards until it reached the monsters face.

If he knew any better, he would’ve never done that.

His face was equally covered in blood. Slightly smeared around so bits of his pale skin shot through. His shiny scars and pinned-up goggles on his head gleamed light back at him. Damp hair from all the blood lying down onto his skin.

But the worst part was his eyes.

That burned into the guard's mind. So horrid. So piercing he felt his breathing stall. Almost choking on nothing as he felt himself passing out. The darkness around him turned darker but the monster wouldn’t allow that.

The monsters body bounded forward. His metal hand letting go of the spine as he dropped it with a wet thud on the floor. The wall of blood came closer with each loud thundering footstep. He grabbed the guard by the head, fitting his entire skull into his metal fist. Picking him up off the floor easily and clamping down around his skull. Feeling it splinter and almost cave under the pressure. The guards screams were muffled as he clawed at the metal arm. Kicking his feet in the air and almost hitting you in the process.

The monster turned towards the door once again, away from you before the final snap ensued. A loud deafening crack and then nothing but the sounds of warm blood sputtering on the floor. The man's flashlight fell to the ground. Rolling across the stone to cast an eerie light across you.

The room stayed silent for a while before he dropped the man's body to the floor carelessly. Blinking tirelessly to spot the monsters shadow in the dark with tear filled eyes.

“K-Kid?” you murmured. Your voice was so rasp and weak he could barely hear it. Turning around to face something he could hardly stomach to see.

His eyes traced over you like he almost didn’t think you were real. Soaked from head to toe in water, you kneeled in front of him in a pool of blood. Dark deep bruises on every visible limb. You’re lip cut and swollen as it wobbled from the tears. Tears coming out of a very prominent black eye with red lacerations all around your face. Your clothing torn and in shambles, as they stuck uncomfortably tight to your wet skin.

Kid had seen the inside of many men but the sight of you nearly broke him apart.

Your disheveled features and colorless lifeless skin made his breathing hitch. Tears instantly flooded his eyes just to drip down his face. Mixing in with the blood now drying on his skin. His heart tore in two as he nearly fell into you. His large knees hit the hard ground and splashed up the puddle of blood. Wrapping you in a warm gooey hug he gripped his hand into your hair, shoving his head into the crook of your neck.

“I’m s-sorry…I’m so sorry…I’ll never let this happen again.” He croaked out into your ear between sniffles. Your hands were still bound so you couldn’t grip him. Just tugging at the chains helplessly as you let out a wry whimper of pain.

“K-Kid…” you mumbled, the crying getting even worse, “I thought I was dead…I-I missed you so fucking much. I’m so sorry I fucked up…I..” You trailed off into a whimper. Words escaping you as reality became as sharp as a knife, yet comforting as his touch.

Hearing your voice caused him to let out a weak gasp of pain. Trying to be gentle as he gripped his flesh arm around you a bit tighter. His metal one at your side, both arms desperately trying to not put pressure on your wounds. With a little flash of purple lightning escaping his hand and tingling the back of your head, your chains came off. Bruised weak wrists getting an instant relief as your arms swung down to land weakly onto his shoulders. The blood rushed back into them as you gripped him tightly, pressing your chest flush against his despite all the blood.

Without a word, he tucked his metal arm under your legs. Scooping you up easily, he kept your face pressed against his chest. Walking out into the hallway as his feet dodged the guard's body and left over spine.

“I want you to keep your eyes closed okay baby? Just stay up against my chest until we get out of here.” He mumbled to you softly. Listening to your staggered breathing as you cried on him.

You barely even heard him. Just shoving your face further upwards until you reached the crook of his neck. Closing your eyes as you tried to take deep breaths. Fingers nearly clawing into his sticky blood-stained back as if he was going to disappear.

Kid traced his bloodied footsteps back from where he came from. Finding a few splattered bodies along the way. The worst of it was at the entrance. Clasping onto the back of your head a bit tighter he dug his hand into your hair. Glancing weakly over at the piles of dead bodies still warm and oozing onto the floor.

Every single person in this underground facility was completely slaughtered and he made sure of it. The rest of the inmates the crew found in separate cells set free. Running out into the night with a smile and urgency like never before.

Honestly, he didn’t even realize he had gone so far until it was over. Having slashed every single person that came his way into loose mangles. Usually, he’d move on to the next person when a deathly slash was inflicted on them. But he couldn’t stop, rumbling the whole underground facility as he tore into stone and bone. Effectively splattering his entire body with a thick layer of blood.

A part of him still hadn’t calmed down since then. His eyes were still jumpy as he used his haki to check his surroundings. There was no relief for him until you were home, safe, and healing. No amount of blood could quell how his heart clenched for you.

His crew, who was guarding the entrance for any extra visitors, saw you curled in his arms. Some opened their mouths to say something but Kids eyes stopped them. Your sniffles turned to silence as you stilled against his chest. There would be no grand reunion until you were home. Exhaustion covered you like a blanket as he walked you out into the warm air of freedom.

—————

It was an aching feeling. First at the crux of your back on something far too stiff then into a plush embrace. Your head lulls backward into something to catch you. Tight itchy fabric fumbling you awake. Peeling your slightly crusted-over eyes open and expecting to see that same blinding light from before. To hear only the muffled voices of those around you as you barely stayed lucid. But the world had cleared and surprisingly you weren’t somewhere sterile, you were somewhere warm.

The rafters of the wood above you creaked as the boat shifted on the sea. The room was dark and drafty as a window nearby blew in sweet cold air. That familiar scent of the briny seaweed lapping at your nose. You tried to sit up and immediately were met with a warm hand across your chest, pushing you back down.

“Quit moving.” With a turn of your head against the pillow you saw Kid lying mostly naked on his stomach beside you. His hair was loose and hung a bit over his eyes and the back of his neck. Soft and relaxed and not spiked like most people saw it. One side of his pale face squished against the maroon pillow. Blinking at you tiredly in the low light of the dark.

“Shouldn’t I be…in the infirmary?” You mumbled, softly touching his hand now laying on your chest. Feeling along his fingertips and the deep scars on his skin.

He immediately grimaced at that, letting out a gruff groan as he sat up slightly to roll onto his side. Now facing you more directly but keeping his hand softly over your chest as if to feel your heartbeat. “I’m the Captain and I’ll put you where I want you. You didn’t need to stay there anyway. The worst is over and I’m watching over you. Like that doctor could ever take care of you like I can…”

He rolled his eyes, knowing damn well no one knew you like he did. He may not have the medical experience but he was going to take care of you, it's the least he could do. You watched him silently for a moment, chewing your otherwise slightly split lip tenderly. Your other free hand feeling at the bandages around your hips. The doctor seemingly left you only a roll or two away from being a mummy.

“I don’t…I don’t remember what happened.” You said a bit hesitantly. Everything after him saving you felt like a fever dream. It was hard to tell what was real and what wasn’t. Kid could see the uncertainty written deep into your brow. Taking his hand and running it up to swipe his thumb over your cheek.

“I brought you home and patched you up. You mumbled and cried the whole time in the infirmary. Clinging onto me and whimpering like a dog through all the stitches,” he said with a slight huff of a laugh before mellowing back down into something solemn, “but you’re okay. Nothing severe.”

A little part of you eased into that knowledge. His hand against your cheek feeling like perfection.

I’m okay. You repeated in your head. Your eyes fluttering slightly as they became more foggy with tears. Wet crystal like droplets in the corners of your eyes.

Kid saw this and slightly panicked. Not wanting you to cry anymore, your eyes still puffy from all the tears you had already shed. He slipped his hand off your face and started to sit up. His big body making the bed shake a little as he started to stand up.

“I can go grab you some food. They put you on a IV from all the blood loss so you must be feeling shitty.” He mumbled, the cadence of his words a bit hitched and frantic. You quickly reached out and grabbed his arm, tugging on it slightly to bring him back down.

“No…no it's okay. Maybe in a bit but…” you paused, his head turned back towards you as he watched the tears well up even more, “Kid I-”

“You don’t have to say anything.”

He had cut you off. Leaving you to nearly let out a whimper of pain. You’re chest swimming with guilt as he lets you ease him back into bed. Sitting up and looking down at you with his legs crossed.

His face was starkly stiff as he watched you. Those golden globes of his muddy with feelings yet you barely even noticed. Having trouble looking right at him as you stared down at the bed. “But I fucked up. I mean I badly fucked up. I put all of you at risk and I acted so selfishly thinking I could go out on my own-”

“Baby it's fine.” You let out a shaky huff of air when he cut you off again. Not feeling at all comforted despite his version of ‘fine’. With your face becoming a mess of lines and reddened cheeks he could see you were hanging off the edge. And no matter how much he wanted to drag you off of it, no matter how much he didn’t want to see you cry, he let you talk. Your voice coming out in barely composed gasps.

“But it's not though. I just…I want you to know I’ll never do that again. I won’t go against your plans. I won’t be overly confident in the face of battle. I got myself in that mess and I can’t imagine how hard it was to try and pry me out. All that time wasted…” At this point, a tear had already slipped down your cheek. The side of your face pressed deeply into the pillow as if you were trying to burrow your way out of this. Not looking at him once. Just curling yourself up into a ball of shame in front of him.

He hated every second of it.

“Wasted? It wasn’t a waste because I wanted to do it. I needed to do it. Every person I killed and every single moment spent towards finding you instead of going after my goals was worth it. I’ll set aside days, months, years-shit my whole fucking life to find you. So stop that.” He paused, looking around the room for a moment to gather his thoughts. Your whimpers had gone a bit quiet. Looking up at him almost a bit anxiously from his annoyed tone. Not feeling any better despite how passionate he was about saving you.

You still were curled in a ball with tears in your eyes and he wanted anything but that. So taking another deep shaky breath he continued in a softer tone. “You can do whatever you want during a battle and we all know my plans aren’t foolproof. If I didn’t listen to you, if this whole crew didn’t listen to you on occasion, this boat would be 100 feet under. You didn’t put us at risk, we’re always at risk.” His voice was stern but sincere. Looking down at your gorgeous face despite the tears just hoping and wishing you understood how he felt.

“Quit making it sound like you did something wrong…” He grumbled, scratching the back of his head lightly.

You didn’t say anything right away. Letting his words stew and ferment in your mind. They eased down into something more manageable. The silence between you is a bit uncomfortable but necessary. Kid eyeing you with a worried expression as you slowly composed yourself. Using the back of your hand to wipe your tears as you sniffled lightly. Unfurling yourself a bit and un-shoving half your face out of the pillow.

“Did they leave a note or did you just find me?” You murmured out, voice weak but more steady. Kid didn’t expect that to be your first question, he wanted to hear you forgive yourself but he supposed seeing you calmer was enough. His fingers fiddlingwith the legs of his boxers a bit to distract himself from how nervous he felt.

“There was nothing. I went to all the surrounding islands before I landed on the one you were at. The ‘boss’ of that so-called operation was planning to give your head to the navy. Spineless slimy fucking bastard should’ve never touched you. Shoulda never left you out there.” He didn’t look at you much as he spoke. Chewing on his words a bit and thinking it over. He could still see that boss in front of him. Spine ripped out clean as he lay there on the floor. His little spineless joke had made a few crew members laugh, but he held himself back from trying it on you. It wasn’t the time.

“Kid, you were busy fighting the big shots. That’s how it always works. I’m the idiot who got swept up when no one was watching.” Your voice came out more pleading. Not expecting Kid to be talking bad about himself for what happened. To you, it seemed like it was completely your fault, but clearly, Kid thought differently.

“First off, you're not an idiot. Smartest damn person I know.” He exclaimed, pointing his finger at you. His eyes meeting yours in a much more serious tone. “Secondly, I’m keeping you closer from now on and we're making you a vivire card. I don’t know why I haven’t until now. What a fucking idiot move that was.”

You watched as he swept back his hair again. The very soft-looking curls of his hair becoming more fluffy as they sat in a cute-looking wave on his head. You eyed him a bit, eyes narrowing as you regarded yet another way he was putting himself down. “Well if I can’t call myself an idiot then you can’t either. So stop that. You…thought you were enough to protect me. To keep me by your side at all times. That’s not an idiot move because you do protect me. You always have.” You tried to say that with so much certainty that Kid could feel it. But of course, he still seemed a bit pissed. Looking away from you again and back down at his lap.

“Well, aren’t you being too kind to a guy who let you down…” You frowned at that. Knowing for a fact Kid wasn’t the kind of guy who liked talking about his feelings you didn’t decide to dig deeper. But you still wanted to know what happened. Why Kid seems so bummed despite you being safe.

“You…you were covered in blood when I saw you down there. What…happened?” You asked quietly, picking together parts of your memory to try to make sense of it.

He hesitated. Swallowing thickly before giving you the only answer that wouldn’t make him out to be so…horrible. “I did my job.” It was a good enough answer. He could see by the way your eyes squinted it wasn’t quite what you wanted but you didn’t say anything more. “And don’t worry. The crew hosed me down before I got on the ship. Didn’t want to stain the tub. I knew you woulda clawed my eyes out if I did. But I washed us nice and clean. Under your nails and behind your ears and everything. You just conked out on my chest…which was rather cute by the way.”

The idea of you asleep against his chest as he washed you made your heart skip. Feeling a small smile quirk at your lips imagining him taking care of you so well. “I…I missed bath time? Dang it. I can never convince you to take a bath with me usually.”

“Well, you can put me in another one of those death traps soon if you want to.” Kid let out a sigh, feigning annoyance but smiling down at you regardless.

“Good because I was going to guilt you into it again anyway.” You quipped, your smile becoming more mischievous as you gripped onto the blanket near you and hid part of your blushing face.

Kid couldn’t help but laugh at that a little. Eyes narrowing as he watched you, his voice coming far out more smooth and sweeter. “Of course you were.”

“Oh and umm…thank you for cleaning me up. I wasn’t going to claw your eyes out necessarily. Getting covered in blood wasn’t your fault or anything.” You mumbled, fingers now tracing the texture of the blanket as you spoke.

Kid watched you for a second before responding. Chewing the truth and deciding to ask just in case you did remember too much. “It sorta was…I mean I overdid it. You don’t…remember too much of it right?” His voice hitched a bit at the end there. Eyes more wide and expectant as if he knew you were going to nag at him for how…extra he had been.

“Too much of what? I mean…I remember the guard getting…crushed. I don’t think I could ever forget that. And seeing you all covered in blood is still pretty vivid in my mind.” You said innocently as if even that didn’t bother you. You knew Kid could be a cruel man in battle and had gotten used to it. So you didn’t get what he seemed so worked up about.

“Well…that’s not exactly ideal but better than nothing.” Kid stroked his hair again, a nervous habit that always gave him away. The corners of his eyes tightened and his gaze went anywhere but you.

“What? Did something bad happen after you saved me?”

“More like…before I saved you. And it was all over the ground. Lots of guts and gross shit I don’t need you seeing.” Kid's answer rolled off his tongue awkwardly and slowly as if he was cringing the whole way through it.

“You saying I can’t handle gore and stuff? You know I can.”

You piping up defensively instead of in utter disgust for him was a bit of a shock. Kids lack an eyebrow raised in confusion. Looking over you and seeing that in fact you weren’t barfing in your mouth a little.

Well then clearly they didn’t see it. They weren’t lying.

“Well it was especially…gross this time. Even Killer complained that I accidentally splattered him.”

Your eyes widened at that. Finally putting it together just how far Kid must’ve gone when battling that crew. You looked him up and down a bit more carefully and still didn’t see a single wound. Which meant it wasn’t for fighting reasons, it was for you.

“Really? Well…shit. Killer is like…the king of being chill with a bunch of blood on him. Must’ve been bad.”

Killer really was the king of being okay with blood and gore. It's one of the reasons Kid had become so proficient in handling it himself. So for Killer to complain despite being the very man that taught Kid how to rip spines out cleanly was unexpected. Dare say concerning.

“It…was.” Kid swallowed a bit thickly, still almost ashamed of how he acted despite how good it felt. He was mainly just worried about your opinion of him. He didn’t want you knowing how brutal he could really be but from the light smile on your face, he realized you took it more as a compliment than anything.

“Then um…thank you for protecting me and my soft little mind.” You reached out timidly and touched his knee in front of you. Patting his thigh softly before mindlessly tracing little patterns on his skin. It made sparks fly up his spine feeling the soft pads of your fingers on him. His cheeks turning red as he watched your hand. Not at all interfering with the little ways you showed him you cared.

“You don’t need to thank me.” He said quietly, pausing for a moment before chewing on another thought. It made him nervous to say this. Hell, he would rather talk about anything else. But with a feigned layback attitude, he let it go. His heart far too heavy to keep it inside anymore. “Ya know…for a second there I thought you mighta left me. Got tired of the whole pirate life. Found some other man…to wash behind your ears.”

You listened to his soft mumbling, eyes hazy with tiredness now turning sharp from the shock. “Wah-Why would you ever think that Kid? I’d never leave you. Even thinking about it is making me uncomfortable.” You stopped tracing his thigh. Instead, planting your hand firmly onto it. Your head perking up out of the pillow to look at him more.

Kid half expected you to say something like that. You were always the more vocal one about your feelings compared to him. Whilst you were screaming at the tops of your lungs how much you loved him, Kid would only croak it out in private. Pale skin always cast in an embarrassed flush despite how long you two have been together. “I know I know. I bet the crew woulda said the same thing if I had told them. That you’re too smitten and in love with me to just…leave.”

“Well of course I am! I’m pathetically in love with you and if I ever did leave, which is never happening in a million years, I would have told you beforehand. I’m not some sort of…cruel person to just slink away like that.” That last part made you both frown immediately. Your face strewn with pain and Kids full of guilt.

“I know you’re not, I know. I just got…scared that maybe…I was the one who made you go away.” He could feel his stomach drop saying that. Immediately regretting that he even brought it up. You were back and safe and telling him you loved him yet he still felt like he was the problem.

You could see that look of unsureness written all over his face. It made your voice go firmer, hand gripping his thigh a bit tighter as you leaned your body upwards. “Kid I got captured and nearly beaten to death. Why would I ever choose that over you?”

“I know that now but when I was looking for you…god, I don’t know. This conversation is stupid.” Kid flopped over onto his back. Bouncing the bed slightly as he pressed his head into the pillow. His eyes closed yet his lips tilted into a twitching frown. As if he was trying to tackle something going on in his head.

You’re brow furrowed and your heart ached. Bridging the gap between the two of you as your chest softly pressed against his arm. He popped his eyes open, feeling you move around and press up against him. His mouth immediately opened in complaint. “Stop moving already you need to-”

His words were cut off as you tucked his lips into a deep and needy kiss. Propping your elbow up and laying your chest against his wide one. One of your hands tracing up his pec, the other going up to softly play with his hair. Usually, he always took the led but you beat him to it. Lapping your tongue against his unpainted lips before slipping inside. Drinking him in with slow languid movements that were slightly rough from passion. His rigid body relaxed beneath you as his hand made its way to the arch of your back.

Biting softly on his lip as you pulled away, a surprisingly soft loving smile adorned your rosy cheeks as he stared up at you, nearly bewildered. His sharp honey eyes were wide and glassy. His sweet-smelling skin a beautiful shade of pink.

“I love you, okay? I won’t ever stop loving you. No amount of pain or mistakes or anything you think is wrong with yourself would ever deter me. You bleed for me, you bleed others for me, and you are the reason my heart's still beating. And even if you didn’t do any of that, if you were the most unsuccessful and incapable person on this planet, I would still love you. So please stop making up reasons why I wouldn’t love you because it's an insult to how much I do. Which is a fuck-ton if I needed to say it clearer.”

You simply smiled at him as he took all of that in. Blinking in surprise as a little gasp of air came out of him. The kind of breath that he was probably holding in. But as soon as he did he softened even more, a light smirk on his lips as his hand ran up your back to touch your hair. “Did you have that speech prepared or does being perfect just come naturally to you?”

You let out a little giggle at that. Kid always had a way of turning even the most intimate moments into something sweeter. “Well it was originally supposed to be a part of my wedding vows to you but I tweaked it a bit to fit the moment. Did I do a good job?”

“An amazing job. Though you thinking about marriage already is going to give me heartburn. But if I had any feedback to give, I would say keep the fuck-ton part in. Lays it on thick ya know?”

“Will do handsome.” You mumbled through a smile. Easing yourself into a more comfortable position and laying your head on his soft chest. His hand immediately pressed against your lower back. Rubbing his rough yet warm calloused hands across you. Staring up at the ceiling as he let out another deep sigh.

“I love you.” He whispered. Voice a bit more rasp and his face full of bliss.

“I know ya do dummy.”

#one piece x reader #x reader #eustass kid x reader #eustass kid #one piece #eustasscaptainkid #kid pirates #one piece eustass #massacre soldier killer #killer one piece #tw; blood #tw; gore #request

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voidedaurora · 2 months ago

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hey! quartlez just posted a video “clearing the grooming allegations” on their pasqelz channel. which i find a bit funny cause if you’re so serious about clearing your name n ppl are lying grr 😡 shouldn’t it be on your main account??

they also said working on it stressed them out (poor them 🥺 /sar) so the video isn’t super long

they said “Originally had a longer video prepared but workin’ on it stressed me out too much and ended up not likin’ it later down the line so hope this one will suffice Apologizes on the wait but didn't wanna rush anythin out”

i hope that you n everyone else affected by them are okay! 🫶🏼

I'm aware of the video and have watched it, it proves nothing, disproves nothing, flat out LIES?, etc. Starting with the most blatant lie, around 6:42 I never posted her porn/Nsfw, I'm not evil and I have no reason to do so. She claims that I deleted it but I actually don't think I've deleted a SINGLE tumblr post I've made here, I've edited posts to correct spelling, censor evidence I failed to censor while rushing, etc. But I don't think I've flat out deleted any of them? After looking for a while to figure out what she was talking about I figured out the image at least, this is a flat out lie and her trying to twist the narrative. THIS is the drawing she is talking about to my knowledge.

This is obviously NOT NSFW, Suggestive at worst. She's honestly just trying to make me look bad I guess? I've never posted cropped NSFW of hers, I don't have a reason to. Additionally, just gonna point out since she has a caption at the bottom left saying she looked for the post, I have good reason to believe SHE never looked for anything according to her own words as shown here.

Screenshot was taken on the 22nd of October

This obviously isn't groundbreaking or anything crazy but it's definitely something to note since she's making this "response" based off of things her friends have told her and interpreted from posts online At around 1:11 she talks about how she "didn't want to treat Khai differently than how I acted towards any of my other friends so they didn't feel left out" and pretty much tries to justify the way she acted around her with the fact it was how Mel and I had acted to eachother and sometimes with Khai as a group. This does NOT excuse anything, despite what she believes, acting a certain way around someone or letting certain things slide that you wouldn't "normally" would be considered SPECIAL TREATMENT and isn't ok. Letting Khai in her server early is special treatment It's fucking insane that even after your friends told you not to let khai in you'd let her in anyway Additionally she mentions briefly the "shit talking" I did about her around 0:34 and shows screenshots (i'll show them below but in higher quality + more context bc she paints em in a certain way with how they're displayed

For this one I was talking about how she was treating me throughout surgery, not shit-talking to shit talk

Again, this isn't shit-talking, this is me being upset she was treating me like caca

THESE aren't shit talking either, sure they may have been rudely worded but the context of this was when kiwi, another friend, Mel, and I were all playing monopoly and Mel had been being really mean to everyone else involved and pushing everyone's boundaries (not in the "monopoly divides friendships" trope way either)

Now this one is definitely fair, it was worded quite immaturely/meanspirited but I was just being honest with Khai at the time, Mel would constantly shit-talk about Khai to me :/

#1 is fair TO AN EXTENT, she took what I'd said as some deep dark threat, I was extremely upset at the time and DID INDEED have alot of things she'd done bottled up for her, and to me it had felt extremely unfair that I'd kept shit secret and had THAT much care for her and her career to lie for her only for her not to give less of a shit about me when I needed her, additionally I was also in the middle of a long bpd episode fueled by stress, the surgery, narcotics, and general mental illness. She took this and tried to frame it as me "blackmailing" her. Not to whip out definitions but-

By definition, blackmail is basically when you hold information above someone's head as a threat to get something else either OUT of them or force them to do something for you. This was NOT blackmail, if ANYTHING it would count as a threat, but I didn't even say this directly to her so I'm just??? For that second set of screenshots I was definitely being an ass about her, but again, all of this was out of frustration of how I WAS BEING TREATED by her All in all, all of these screenshots are WILDLY cropped and get rid of other bits of context that are honestly pretty important when viewing Moving on to the next point

She mentions how the "whole grooming thing mainly comes from the Just Dance VR video I did with Khai" this is not true and you know it! I guess she's just ignoring this whole stream

ADDITIONALLY, she mentions that I "was just mad that Kai's character looked similar to voided character because they were both blue and had antenna" no, this is not why I was upset. Sure, I was uncomfortable with the two characters looking the same, and WHEN Kaia was made initially, it was during a point of time when Khai was at her peak for copying pretty much everything I'd do, down to ocs, artstyle, ways I spoke, etc. (she doesn't do this anymore so this absolutely is not to shame her <3) It made me uncomfortable knowing that Kaia was 1. based off of Iris 2. was drawn EERILY similar to how Mel drew Iris before (even to the point where when I'd ask other people to spot who's who THEY WOULD NOT BE ABLE TO TELL) 3. The character that looked like Iris was now being shipped with the EXACT SAME one she was etc. all of those together, coupled with the apparent special treatment Khai was being given made me extremely uncomfortable, and worried. My primary concern was NOT the fact Kaia looked like Iris, its the fact she was clearly being used to fill the space where Iris USED TO BE, and was using Khai as a sort of replacement for me. Next. I think its loony that Mel is complaining about people thinking she's still obsessed with her ex as if there isn't REASONS we all think this, you redesign their characters to use as your own, flat out have stolen a couple, talk about them ALL the time in private, the first thing people get to know about you is how much you fucking hate your ex, theres the whole Honest video, the shit-posts about them, etc. There's other things I'll mention at a later date once they're public additionally. She also mentions how the "characters arent even alike anymore" but they really are still the same characters but in a different font. Not to mention the fact you've recently literally stolen 2 characters (Bronze and Frostbite) which were never yours to begin with. wild At 10:47 she says she's surprised people are shocked when she vents about her EX, OFC they are. It's been what 7 years? since yall first dated, and ANOTHER 2 years for you to move on, at least publicly. People are upset you still SHOW people these vents then rant, rave, and shittalk them as if they're still here actively doing you harm, you wish DEATH upon them to this day, aswell as any other people who wrong you. There's a difference between venting to get out feelings and venting to ""cope"" with your ex not liking you anymore and then showing these vents to people around you. The fact they were your "first love" doesn't excuse anything either. "im not friends with any minors" Highly doubt this, only reason you aren't now is because they all left you Around 12:51 she touches on the fact she's shit-talked people in her server, and possibly her friends aswell. She blames this on her old friends and people around her, while this is partially true, there have been MANY instances where she was NOT influenced or told to make fun of these people, i've shown these before but I'll show them again Randomly dming me about fanart someone made, poking fun at it

Randomly dming me about fanart someone made, poking fun at it pt.2

you get it

As you can see in these screenshots she's actively making fun of fanart just RANDOMLY, every single screenshot is from a different time aswell. so this behavior was ISOLATED and un-influenced at that moment. Pretty much everything past 14:30 is just her going on a weird ego stroking powertrip about people speaking out about her, you can SMELL the stick rammed up her ass just from her tone alone, she doesn't care, she never will. All yall praising her for this "response" are honestly pretty crazy and your standards are BELOW the floor atp, the glazing is insane ☹️like be so so real, she doesn't even TALK in a serious manner in the video, she starts it off by YELLING Anyway this ENTIRE video was a nothingburger, she proves nothing, she disproves nothing, there's absolutely nothing new brought to to table. Just 17 minutes of excuses, lies, and "nuh uh" Also to anon, I agree 100% she should've posted this on main even if it was absolute dog water, I dont care if you're family watches your videos, the thrusting furrys and suggestive videos were fine but the one supposedly "clearing your name" was too much, awesome Sorry about the formatting being bad, I'm tired of this girl

#questions #quartelz #🍉

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noparadiseinthis · 4 months ago

Text

English is not my first language. Bear with me, Grammarly helps, but it doesn't work miracles

When I realize I'm still human

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick/fem!Reader

Warnings: Gaz vaguely mentions the kind of violence in his work. Apart from that, just pure cuteness and fluff.

Summary: Gaz comes home at dawn after a mission and finds you asleep on the sofa. The reason surprises him.

"Thanks for the ride, Johnny," Gaz said as he closed the car door, putting one of the backpack straps on his shoulder. "Drive carefully."

Inside the car, Soap rolled his eyes at the show of concern, but with an affectionate smile. "I'm the careful one, kid." And with that, he pulled the car away with one last wink before driving off, causing Gaz to snort in disbelief before entering the building.

The clock on the desk of the doorman who greeted him gave away how late it was, crushing all his hopes of kissing you and eating with you before going to bed. A hot bath would have to suffice, at least he had someone in his bed waiting for him.

It was his first mission since you decided to move in together, and as long as he could see your face and hold your warm body against his to remind him of all the good things that existed beyond the evil he saw and did at work, he could fall asleep with a certain peace.

He climbed the stairs quickly and quietly, always a little tense about using the elevator after returning home. Images of all the chaos, destruction, and violence he had seen kept flashing through his mind, and he swore he would leave it all behind as soon as he walked through that door - or when he turned off the shower - just as he swore he would never let any of it influence his relationship. Outside, he was Sergeant Garrick. For you, he would always be Ky. And Ky wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night with nightmares that disturbed your sleep.

He smiled when he noticed that the door was locked, even though there was a 24-hour concierge at the residential building. My clever girl, he thought, pulling the keys out of his pocket with a sigh as he prepared to enter the house for the first time in weeks.

What he saw inside, however, was not at all what Kyle had expected. The lights were all off, but seeing in the dark was second nature, and he could make out a silhouette lying on the sofa in the living room. He frowned, his hand instinctively going to his hip, where his holster was until he realized that he knew that form curled up under so many blankets. He sighed in surprise, locking the door again behind him and approaching silently.

His assumption was confirmed when he saw your face peeking out from under the mountain of blankets you always slept under, which brought a smile to his face when he noticed how familiar it looked. He couldn't resist crouching down and raising his hand to gently caress your face. Why on earth were you sleeping there? On that old sofa that was begging to be replaced, where your back would surely ache, and not in the bedroom, in the very comfortable king bed you helped choose? He barely noticed when your touch woke her up.

"Ky?" you asked, rubbing your eyes and wondering if it was another one of your sleep delusions.

"Hi, pretty girl," he said, with a huge smile opening up, his thumb tracing your cheek "What are you doing sleeping here?"

You gave a shy smile, leaning closer to his touch and trying to smell him. If you had been more awake, you would have jumped into his lap and showered him with kisses, but there, at that moment, that sleepy comfort was all the reassurance you needed.

"It didn't feel right," you whispered, "sleeping in bed without you. I couldn't relax without you by my side. So I came here."

Kyle's eyes widened a little, his heart swelling inside his chest. Although he felt guilty knowing that you were hurting yourself because of him, he couldn't help the warmth that took over his body. The one that said he had a home, someone who loved him and was worth fighting for, doing all the things he did.

"God, I love you."

You laughed softly, holding his cold hand against your cheek and leaving a small kiss on his wrist. "I love you too, brave boy."

"But now, it's time for you to sleep in the proper place, young lady." Kyle said as he stood up and put his arms around you, lifting you with covers and all. Instead of the natural instinct to run away, you clung to him and buried your face in his neck, wanting more of your boyfriend's warmth that you'd been denied for the past few weeks.

"Hmm, Ky..." you moaned appreciatively as he carried you effortlessly. "I've missed you.

"I thought about you all the time," he whispered as if it were a secret.

The walk to the bedroom was short, and when he set your body down carefully on the bed, you stubbornly wrapped your arms around his neck and chest as he tried to get up.

"Doll, I'm dirty; I have to shower."

"No, later." you moaned, almost like a petulant child, reinforcing his grip from which he could escape if he wanted to "Stay with me, Kyle.". But he could never deny you anything.

Gaz let his body relax on the bed next to yours, pulling you against him as he had dreamed of for so many lonely nights, and in his sleepy state, you pulled the blankets up to cover him, too, his body much colder than yours.

"Always, but I don't want you sleeping on that sofa anymore, baby. I'll give you a massage in the morning." He whispered against your skin, stroking your back.

"Anything you want, Ky, but I'm the one who's going to give you a massage."

"No, baby, whatever you want. Now go to sleep, I'm going to stay here".

With soft kisses being planted on your face, you fell fast asleep. And with your loving body pressed against his, Kyle soon followed you into the dream world, happy to have remembered how good it was to be human.

(A/n): I love my boy Kyle and he doesn't get enough love. This was my first time writing for COD

#cod #call of duty #kyle gaz garrick #kyle gaz x reader #kyle gaz x you #kyle gaz garrick fluff #cod fic #cod fluff

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scyllas-revenge · 4 months ago

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Hope you're doing OK Scylla :D Was thinking about BLCI today (as you do) and no pressure on the next chapter at all but do you have any snippets to share? No worries if not! Also I think I saw that you love Persuasion? *ignores existence of the 2022 version!!!* Thought I'd share that there is a recent Eomer/OFC fic being adapted from Persuasion and put it on your radar if you hadn't seen it...its off to a great start :D

pHORSEuasion: https://archiveofourown.org/works/55817617/chapters/147845338

XOXO

Thanks for the ask! And omg yes Persuasion is THE yearning book. The Netflix version took ten years off my life. Luckily we have the 90s one and the 2007 one to enjoy instead.

Given my love of Persuasion, and Eomer, and puns, I definitely have that fic on my radar! I'm hoping I'll have time to start it in the next week or two!

As far as BLCI goes, I've been making progress! Now I just have to work out whether what I thought was going to be one chapter should be divided into two or three (it's really gotten away from me lol).

But you asked for snippets! And I shall deliver! Snippets abound!!

Or at least, one big snippet abounds!

Probably way too long to be a snippet, but I'm excited to post the damn thing. Hopefully it'll be another two weeks or so before Ch. 34 is done!

Ch. 34 snippet <3

“I should call you Lord Boromir, shouldn’t I?”

He paused, looking startled at the thought. “No. I would not wish that.”

“But I should, shouldn’t I? Everyone else does—hell, the guards outside the gate called you Steward-Prince—”

“You have long been aware of my station and my family, that I command Gondor’s armies and am the Steward’s heir besides.”

“Yes, but it’s different being here, seeing you like this,” I protested. “I probably should’ve been addressing you differently this whole time, my lord—”

Anger flashed across his face. “Do not address me so! Valar, such words sit ill on your lips.”

His eyes had fallen intently to my lips as he spoke, and I dropped my gaze to my boots, flustered. “It’s not like I want to be so formal either, but what will your people think?” I asked. I wasn’t even sure what they’d think, exactly, but it couldn’t be good. “What will your father think?”

Boromir pinched the bridge of his nose and huffed an impatient sigh. “Yes, you speak truly. It would be—selfish of me, to demand such impropriety of you.”

“I don’t need to call you Lord when we’re alone. Just—just in public.”

He smiled joylessly and tilted his head up to the sky. “A more diplomatic concession I cannot hope to make, it seems.”

“And how should I address your father? Does a steward warrant a higher title than lord?”

“No, for the line of stewards is not royalty. Lord or Lord Steward shall suffice, though I must warn you that such formalities will hardly be optional with my father.”

That, at least, was obvious, but I supposed after my disastrous interactions with Theoden, he’d felt the need to remind me.

“I should also warn you—” He hesitated. “Speak naught but the truth to my father.”

“I was hardly planning on lying to him,” I protested, more than a little offended now.

Boromir raised his hands placatingly. “Of course not. I only wished to caution you, for he will know at once if you do otherwise. He has a—an affinity for such things.”

“An affinity for what, reading minds?” I was joking, but Boromir only nodded gravely. “You can’t be serious,” I exclaimed.

“Both my father and brother share a talent for gleaning men’s thoughts. It can be an…overwhelming experience, my soldiers have told me.”

“I can’t imagine why.”

#answered!#i have the best mutuals #burn like cold iron #lotr fanfic #boromir x oc #heeheehoohoo snippet time

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definitelynotafurinasimp · 1 year ago

Note

Hello! I'd like to request Eula, Hu Tao, and Rosaria's s/o getting super shy/flustered about asking to hold their hand

Even tho its super cheesey i have an absolute soft spot for the trope or whatever you call that tbh

I can't believe this is what I'm using my education for...

Eula and Hu Tao with a reader that get's shy when asking to hold their hand

Characters: Hu Tao / Eula x gn!reader (separate)

warnings: none

a/n: I have to admit that I have absolutely no idea how to write for Rosaria. I came up with something, but it would have literally been something like 2 sentences. So I'm really sorry.

I'm just happy that I got to write for my two favourite's again. it's been so long

Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Hu Tao

Hu Tao never had, isn’t currently in the possession of, and never will grow a sense of shame, so while that meant that getting her to be embarrassed by something she did was almost an impossibility, it didn’t need a genius detective to notice that the people she surrounded herself with, with the exception of Zhongli and Xingqiu, although she was sure she’d get to him someday, didn’t exactly fit the same criteria.

So while her heart did skip a beat whenever you asked her anything that made your face turn red, she couldn’t help but use the chance to get a bit of fun out of your nervousness.

You should have known that no good was going to come out of agreeing to Hu Tao’s request to go somewhere together, but your stupid brain couldn’t help but accept when she asked, too excited when she took the word “date” in her mouth.

Unluckily for you however, the funeral parlor’s director’s definition of a date was taking a trip to wuwang hill and hunting for any lost souls.

“I… don’t know if it's such a good idea to go there. It seems pretty dark”, you voiced your concerns upon seeing where she was going to take you, only for Hu Tao to turn around quickly enough for you to nearly get a heart attack when you were suddenly greeted with her face mere inches away from yours, and summoning her weapon before triumphantly showing it off.

“If it’s too dark for you, I can light my weapon. We might start a small wildfire, but it’s not like the ghosts will care too much”, she suggested with her typical smile, making sure to pronounce the word “ghosts” in as unsettling of a voice she could muster.

It didn’t do much, but coupled with the already sinistre energy the hills gave off and the small, transparent children you could swear you saw running around from the corner of your eyes, only for them to vanish once you took a closer look, made the king of all shivers run down your spine.

“...or”, she began talking once again, causing you to look up at her, anticipating her next words, “you could hold my hand if you’re scared.”

It didn’t take you long to shake your head and stutter out a responce as your face turned hot, only for Hu Tao to laugh and turn back around, ready to lead you farther into the forest. Or at least she would have, if the sound of something stepping on a branch behind a nearby bush hadn’t caused you to nearly fall over dead. And while she wouldn’t complain about receiving a new customer, business could wait for a little longer.

“Y- you know what? I- is the offer still available?”, you asked slowly, the shame and nervousness openly displayed in your voice, as you looked to the ground, too scared of what you might see if you looked up at her..

“Sure, if you buy a casket from me? They’re surprisingly affordable… most of them at least”, Hu Tao joked, only to shut up for a second when she realized you were too occupied with fearing for your life to notice her genius joke.

In one quick motion, she grabbed your hand before moving to your side so the two of you stood shoulder to shoulder, before suddenly intertwining her fingers with yours.

“But since it’s you this should suffice.”

And while you spent the rest of the trip too embarrassed and deafened by the internal screaming to feel frightened by the dark hills that made you nervous from just thinking about them not long ago, Hu Tao happily skipped by your side while humming her favorite tunes.

Eula

Eula, being born and raised as an aristocrat, had been taught how to do anything with elegance and dignity, from chuckling, to getting out of what would otherwise become an awkward scene. All of which was to say that something like holding another person’s hand was no problem to her either, having to have done so at many balls and other events in her past. So as long as you remained at least somewhat calm when asking to hold her hand, it should be no problem at all.

…so why was asking this difficult?

With every minute that your date drew nearer to a close, you became less and less talkative, eventually coming to a point where you silently sat and ate your food while remaining completely silent. If it hadn’t been for the hundreds of quick glances you took at her, only to immediately look back down when your eyes crossed, Eula would have simply assumed you were getting tired. It was pretty late after all and as she knew you, you’d probably spent most of last night awake, overthinking what you would do the next day. But now, she couldn’t help but worry about other motives.

Was there something on her face? Eula quickly wiped the corners of her mouth with ner napkin, trying to play it off as casual as possible.

There it was again! You were still glancing at her, somehow seeming even more nervous than before. If it wasn’t any food, what was it? Was there someone behind her you didn’t exactly have fond memories of? Would it be weird to take a look? Or was it her after all that caused you to act this way? Did she say something hurtful before? No wait, did you take her joke too literally? Maybe she should work on her communication skills after all?

“caniholdyourhand?”, the words shot out of your mouth, as you nervously looked around, your cheeks having turned a deep shade of red.

“What?” Eula asked, more in confusion than in anything else. Was this what you were acting all nervous about? A part of her felt relief wash over her, and yet your shyness began rubbing off on her more than she’d like.

“Can I- you know… uhm. Hold your hand?”, you asked once again, a lot slower this time but in turn much more quiet than before.

Before long, Eula reached out her hand for yours before grabbing it. There was no need to act all shy about something like hand holding, afterall, especially for an aristocrat like her. But then again, you had never been too confident about things like this, so she might as well give you a hand and help you out a bit.

Or so she’d like to, if her face wasn’t in the process of matching yours in the color department.

…Why was this so much more difficult with you?

#eula #eula x reader #eula x gn!reader #eula x you #eula x y/n #eula lawrence #hu tao #hu tao x reader #hu tao x you #hu tao x y/n

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dekusleftsock · 9 months ago

Text

Turning tragedy into hope-Let him lose those arms

I’ve tried making this post three times so let’s hope that third times the charm y’all.

I’m just gonna come out and say it but when I saw that panel where Izuku doesn’t have any hands I literally got so excited.

AND ITS NOT BECAUSE I LIKE MY FAVORITE CHARACTER GETTING BRUTALIZED (well? I do think it’s a little funny but shhh)

But it’s because this has been foreshadowed almost as much as the handhold itself between Izuku and Katsuki. And it’s wonderfully tragic in the best of ways. Literally half of the commentary surrounding it when it came out in the leaks was “omg I thought of that!” Because literally everyone and their mother KNEW this was coming in some form. Izuku was going to lose an arm, and that would be the case.

Hell, even outside of the story the amount of official art and AU’s Horikoshi drew that had Izuku without an arm is astounding. Like it’s so painfully obvious that this was coming, and so he upped the shock when he made Izuku lose them both.

Izuku is even doing his white eye thing, he isn’t shocked, he’s angry. My dude is pissed. Clearly, to me at least, the loss of his hands is less of a shock to him and more so that he’s angry that afo took away the reason he lost them in the first place—Tenko.

Y’all gotta remember who Izuku is, he’s the stubborn motherfucker that refused time and time again to give up on his dreams, he’s the one that illegally saved Iida and Katsuki, he’s the one that refused to let go of Tenko’s hands because when he was in his time of need, it comforted him.

Izuku has been told by his doctors for over a year atp that he was going to eventually either lose his hands, or lose the function within them. He’s accepted that. He can try to stop it, hold it off through equipment and treatment, but at the end of the day, everything breaks eventually. He knows that. We know that.

So if he was going to lose his arms in some way, it’d be through this: saving someone, holding their hands, never letting go, comforting them.

It’s tragic and sacrificial, but Aizawa’s the same. Did we make theories about how Eri is gonna heal him from being an amputee? Did the story say “actually due to this cool magical illusion/quirk it was all a mirage/eri could heal it”? No, it didn’t. Did Mirko somehow get her arms and legs back because they’re tied to how she views her strength? No, she didn’t.

And there’s a reason they didn’t. Multiple reasons they didn’t. They’re heroes, their scars tell their stories.

Not even mentioning how that’s such a trope (“everyone else keeps their long term injuries except for the main character because he’s special and gets main character powers, like not getting a disability from a dangerous job! :)”), but why should eri, a little girl, be responsible for everyone’s injuries? She doesn’t even have full control yet, she’s playing it by day. (People LOVE to talk about how all the 1-A kids are just kids fighting in a war, except when it comes to a little girl being responsible for everyone’s injuries, somehow)

The reason eri was shown wasn’t because she was going to somehow save the day, but because she wasn’t. It was supposed to stop those theories from having actual merit, because eri doesn’t actually have the built up strength to help.

So, with that out of the way, I wanted to say how this is so fucking beautiful. It’s tragic yes, Izuku and Katsuki never got to hold hands, not properly, but maybe the measure of their trust is beyond that. Maybe, an embrace could suffice—this would go back to Izuku’s vigilante arc. Where, instead of holding hands, Katsuki caught him when he needed to. And he’s going to do it, again and again.

Maybe holding a robot or silicone arm won’t feel the same, but it’s the feelings surrounding it that matters, not the act itself. The hand hold is still there, the hands still haunt the narrative like a mouse within the walls. It bites at cords like their own emotional walls.

Katsuki missed his chance, over and over again, and he’s going to have to come to terms with that. But that’s not to say that the story won’t let this aspect haunt the narrative like it always has. It’s still THERE, and I believe in Horikoshi to continue to write a story about hands while the main character doesn’t even have them.

Izuku’s hands are tied to his strength, physically and emotionally. He views them has the glue that ties his heroics to himself. His hands have always reached out to others, his hands have always punched those who were wrong, and even when he had to switch fighting styles he still saw them as the reason he was able to fight at all. They represent OFA, his love, his anger, his weakness, his strength. They represent his sense of self, and yet he’s more outraged than hurt that he lost them for Tenko to be free—only for AFO to take away that freedom all over again.

THATS why the loss had to happen. THIS. He lost something so incredibly valuable to himself, but he lost them of his own accord. He could have let go of Tenko at any moment, yet he didn’t because he wanted Tenko to know comfort and freedom. He wanted him to be free.

You could say that Tenko was telling Izuku to let go because he was breaking down his emotional resolve, and I believe you could also say that he was telling Izuku to let go so he doesn’t hurt someone who tried to help him all over again. You could say it’s both. It’s selfish and selfless, like everything in this story is. But Izuku refused to, and that was a choice Tenko could never take away from him.

So, that’s how I’ll turn this tragedy to hope, because this was done out of Izuku’s love, why take away that meaning?

Why put them back?

Why take away those scars?

Scars tell stories, they tell you how we became the greatest heroes.

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prince-koda · 5 months ago

Text

Under the Weather

Bucky Barnes x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1105

CW: They/Them/Theirs used for reader, reader is on unspecified medication(s) for depressive traits, no physical descriptions of reader, avengers compound or bust.

AN: I have returned to bring another insanely self-indulgent post. I have been moving, still unemployed, and recently dealing with the physical effects of not taking care of myself while on medications which is no good. I'm also posted a little tip sheet with some of the things I try to do to help myself stay afloat when I'm feeling particularly down and unable to do anything.

Constructive criticism always appreciated.

Some days it feels impossible to get out of bed. With what felt like the weight of the world on their shoulders made their back ache and their stomach churn. The feeling of being a burden filled them with dread, terrified of losing everyone for being ‘too difficult’, ‘too distant’, ‘too hot and cold’.

Another night of restless sleep, hips hurting from all the tossing and turning. Left side, stomach, back, left side, right side; it never stopped. It wouldn’t be long before the familiar ache behind their eyes came back and made it hard to do anything without causing their head to pound. Too tired and nauseous to eat consistently only fed into the sad cycle.

The hole was getting deeper and harder to climb out of and it was frightening. Being tired and having a headache only works so well and for so long before it rings empty as a lazy attempt to avoid work and socializing.

They sat on their bed, attempting to push through the fog in their brain by rubbing their eyes and face. They needed to get up and at least go to the kitchen and get water so someone in the compound could see they were still alive, but even a short interaction made the task feel like a full blown mission.

2 knocks and a “hey” from the other side of the door was all it took to clear the fog. One deep breath and then they finally stood, pushing all they could into the back of their mind. The pit in their stomach was impossible to push away.

Once the door was opened, Bucky’s pretty eyes and low bun peaked in.

“How ya feeling? Any better?” A small smile rested on his face as his eyes tried to subtly scope out the room, looking for any red flags. He had to make sure his paranoia was just that: paranoia.

“I didn’t sleep very well, but I feel a little better.” A partially truthful answer quietly slipped from their lips.

Bucky quietly hummed in response, pausing for a moment as he struggled to find his words. What neither party expected was for the door to open wider, ushering Bucky inside. Both hearts fluttered at the reality of finally seeing one another face to face. It was time for them to take baby steps.

“Sam was telling me about this movie, I don’t remember the name, but he texted it to me and I was thinking we could watch it together. I can get snacks and everything.” He offered as he stepped into the room, allowing him to continue his search for any clues; anything that could help him understand what to do.

Like he normally did, he took a seat at the desk in the corner, spinning the chair to face the entire room. It wasn’t his space; even after being invited plenty of times, he feared coming off as too comfortable.

“I’m not sure I’m feeling good enough for a group thing.” Was the quiet response, hoping that would suffice. After closing the door, they shuffled slightly to sit at the end of the messy bed.

“Oh.” He had noticed the room was the same. It looked the exact same way it did last time he was over. Nothing in the room seemed to have been used since then other than the bed. He figured they’d done nothing, but lay in bed. He clear his throat quietly. “I meant just you and me, but there’s no pressure. Sam had said it was something you’d probably like.” Another partially true statement. He slyly omitted the part that he had been the one to reach out to Sam about what was playing in theaters.

“It’s just-” A sigh followed by a short pause. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

Finally, no more half truths.

“It feels like I just can’t… feel, I guess.” They played with their hands in their lap, eyes downcast. “My meds are supposed to help, but there must be something wrong with me.” It wasn’t a secret they had their ups and downs, but Bucky had never experienced a down like this. Unreturned messages and calls happened sometimes, seemingly being asleep anytime someone came to their door and the secret, quiet sobs after they thought whoever was at the door left; those were new.

“How can I help?” After hesitating, he pushed the chair closer to the end of the bed, slightly shortening the distance between the two. Earnestly, all he wanted was to help. He’d set the world on fire to help.

They felt their throat tighten. It felt as though the second they opened their mouth, they’d sob. Instead, they chose to shrug.

“Do you want me to leave? I can head out and maybe drop off some food if you want.” He didn’t want to leave for even a second.

Shakily, but quickly they said “No.” They tightened their grip on their hands, wringing them now. “I-” their voice cracked, “You make me feel better.”

Now Bucky was sure he was going to cry. Before he could find his word, they had finally stopped strangling their hands, quickly pressing the heels of their palms into their eyes for a moment, before finally looking at Bucky.

“I’m probably just tired from not sleeping very well.” They tried giving a chuckle, downplaying the days and days of not having the energy to do anything besides get up to use the restroom or grab some water from the bathroom tap.

“You take care of me when I don’t feel good, the least I can do is return the favor. We can call your doctor and-?” Bucky pushed forward in his chair again, his knees almost bumping into theirs.

“You don’t owe me anything Buck.” They scoffed, eyes falling again from his conviction.

“That’s not what I meant. I’d help you even if you punched me in the gut every day.” He knocked his knee against theirs. “Maybe I can con Sam to bring us some food and we can make fun of some low budget films.” Dipping his head for any eye contact.

When they peeked up, they gave a little nod. “I’d appreciate that.” Bumping Bucky back with their knee.

“Maybe some sandwiches? Plain enough to upset your stomach?” Bucky wasn’t unfamiliar with trying to eat after an extended period without food.

A soft smile, the first real one in what he felt like was centuries, graced their face.

“I really appreciate you, Bucky. Don’t tell Sammy, but you’re my favorite.”

“Like he doesn’t already know that.” Bucky smiles back.

Baby steps.

#kodywrites #bucky barnes x reader #mcu x reader #marvel x reader #bucky barnes #mcu #marvel

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rubyreduji · 2 years ago

Note

hehe i am actually the teacher jihoon anon and also the ceo jihoon anon!!! i guess i am career woozi anon now 🤔 but i just wanted to say thank you for making my thoughts come into reality!! thank you for writing them and i’m glad i could help you get out of a lil writing rut with the teacher idea <3

but 👀 since we are on the topic of jihoon… i recently got his fts carat vers album and in the pcs there is one of him with one of his feet on like something a little bit smaller than a table… if that makes sense, ever since i got it i can’t stop thinking about ceo jihoon or just jihoon fucking you in a similar position 😵‍💫 after you purposely make him jealous too or wear something revealing… phew. i hope i described the position well enough? but i’m sure u can look at the pcs! hehe just some jihoon brainrot i hope i can dump my thoughts in ur inbox 🤲🏻

first off hi im so sorry this took so long (im always saying that but i do feel bad that im such a mess) but i didn't realize you're the same anon haha! i love it sm thank you for all of your requests <<33

secondly so i actually can't find the pc you're talking about 😭😭 i feel so bad and i can't tell if im imagining the position well but i love the idea of jealous ceo jihoon so i hope this suffices (if not maybe send me an ask with the pc and i'll see what i can do?)

pt. 1

[minors dni]

it's been a few weeks since the encounter between you and jihoon in his office and thought it seems like jihoon has stopped his mistreatment towards you, he hasn't alluded to that day at all

he's nothing but proper around you; formal greetings in the morning, considering your ideas in meetings, praising the work you turn in. it's strange and you almost wish he would go back to degrading you every second, at least then you knew he acknowledged you, it's almost like you don't exist anymore

you tell yourself he probably regrets it. he's your ceo for goodness sakes, of course he regrets it. you hate yourself for caring so much because you know jihoon is nothing but a up tight, rude man who thinks of only himself first. the thing is you thought that just maybe it meant something, the other day in his office. he literally called you his favorite how can that not mean something?

well if he's not going to care about you, then you're not going to care about him. it's not like it would have gone anywhere anyways, jihoon isn't worth your worries

"y/n!" you look at the call of your voice to see kwon soonyoung approaching your desk. you like soonyoung, he's upbeat and nice and has always backed you when jihoon was too harsh

"hi soonyoung. how can i help you?"

"would you mind if i ate lunch with you today? it just feels like it's been a while since we've caught up"

"no i wouldn't mind at all" you smile up at the man and he grins happily back at you

soonyoung takes a seat at your desk and pulls his lunch out. you two start a conversation about your lives outside of work. you listen to soonyoung talk about his secondary job as an afternoon choreographer at a dance studio and you can't help but get lost in his stories about his students. you can tell he has a passion for what he does and loves the students he works with

eventually the conversation switches over to you and you're telling soonyoung your own stories when you hear your name shouted across the office

"y/n l/n! my office. now." you look over to see jihoon standing by the elevator, an angry look on his face. soonyoung gives you a worried glance and you quietly excuse yourself before scurrying over to the elevator

jihoon doesn't speak as you two ride up to his office. he doesn't say a single thing until you two are inside his office, the doors shut and locked

"you really do know how to get someone's attention, don't you?"

"i don't know what you're talking about, sir"

"you and kwon soonyoung. don't think i didn't notice the way he was all over you"

"he was just being friendly"

"is that what wanting to get into someone's pants is called these days?"

"jihoon i don't understand what the problem is here. soonyoung and i are friends. it was just lunch"

"the problem is you belong to me" jihoon grabs your face and forces you to look directly at him "you got that?"

you're feeling bold so you spit out "you've barely acknowledge me for the past two weeks"

"so you go and throw yourself at someone else? i didn't take you for a slut, mx. l/n"

"i- that's not- jihoon-"

"do you not want to belong to me?" he's asking permission. in his own fucked up, power hungry way, he's asking permission

you take a big gulp before answering "i- i do, sir"

"that's what i thought. be good now"

with a hand still cupping your face jihoon pulls you into a rough kiss. your lips are messy as they press against each other, desire running through your body

jihoon's hand slides down your neck and to your shirt where he starts to unbutton your shirt. his fingers are nimble and soon your bare skin is exposed to the room. his hands run over your torso, his fingers cold against your warm skin, and you shiver. you feel jihoon smirk at that before his fingers breech the waistband of your pants

his fingers trail against your skin and you gasp into his mouth when his hand plunges deep and cups you over your most sensitive parts. you whine a bit and buck into his hand

"so needy" jihoon tuts

his fingers push back further until his digits trace around your entrance, teasing you

"jihoon please" you beg

"please what?"

"please fuck me. i need it. i need you"

"that's what i like to hear"

jihoon pulls his hands out of your pants and quickly unbuttons them and pulls them down along with your underwear. there's a coffee table sitting in the corner of his office and he points to it

"bend over"

you quickly follow orders, rushing to bend over the table for him, not wanting to prolong him not being inside of you any longer. you feel a big embarassed with your whole ass exposed to the room, wantonly waiting as jihoon takes his time to walk over to you

you hear his own pants drop to the floor before he squirts some lube onto his fingers and shoves them inside of you. you jolt and moan as he fingers you open. he doesn't keep his fingers inside of you for long though, because soon he's pulling them up and grabing your hips to pull them up to meet his cock

without much warning he thrusts into you and you have to bite down on your lower lip to keep your screams in. you breathing gets choppy as jihoon pistons into you, pounding into you fast and hard

his cock is heavy and large and feels even better than his fingers did the last time jihoon touched you

it doesn't take long for you body to start to feel heavy with pleasure, your mind fuzzy with the only thought floating through you head being jihoon jihoon jihoon

jihoon props his leg up onto the table and pulls yours hips into his and you whine at the way his cock digs into your sweet spot at this angle

"only i get you like this, got it? you're my pretty little thing and no one else's. especially not kwon soonyoung's"

"fuck jihoon, only you. no one else makes me feel this good. promise"

"say it again"

"only you jihoon. i'm yours"

"yes, that's it. so good for me"

one of jihoon's hands reaches around to rub at where you ache the most for his touch

"so tight y/n" jihoon grunts "not gonna last much longer"

"sir please cum in me, please"

your words and the breathlessness of your tone is all it takes for jihoon to spill over, filling you full of his seed

your own release comes quickly after as jihoon presses a kiss to your neck, the press of his warm lips against your neck sending you over the edge. you shake in jihoon's grip as your insides pulse around jihoon's cock

you're panting as jihoon pulls out of you. he grabs a tissue off of the coffee table to wipe you both off

you both get dressed again and for a second you're both awkwardly standing around until you turn to leave

"y/n wait" jihoon grabs your arm "i- uhm, i'm sorry...if i came off too strong earlier. i've uh, never done something like this before so-"

"it's okay jihoon, i get it. don't worry. i won't tell anyone either, if that's what you're worried about"

"no! that's not it i just-" you don't think you've ever seen your boss so distressed before "would you like to have dinner with me tonight?"

oh. that's not what you were expecting at all

"oh! uhm. y-yes, i'd like that a lot" you can feel your face heat up with your fluster

"good. well uhm. i'll see you tonight" jihoon stands there for a moment like he doesn't know what to do before he quickly leans in to press a kiss to your cheek and then he turns and walks over to his desk like he didn't just do that

you smile to yourself as you head out of jihoon's office, giddy for what's to come later

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cherry-flavoured-thot · 2 years ago

Note

Hello!! Congrats on 3k followers!! i don't know if the event is still open, but if it is, could I have riddle with f, t, and u? Thank you!!

f - feverish, what are they like to take care of when they are sick? what are they like when taking care of you?

Riddle doesn't get sick. At least not very often. He was very adamant about this piece of information when you commented how run down he seemed the other morning. Lo and behold the next day he didn't even have the energy to pull himself out of bed.

The last time you got sick, he had come to check on you. Bringing you soup and ensuring you were drinking plenty of water, as well as getting enough rest. Albeit he was wearing a mask the whole visit and sprayed down a disinfectant spray before touching any surface in your dorm.

So you've returned the favour by going to check up on him, soup between your hands in a random casserole dish you managed to find. And even though you've come to see how he is, he's immediately worrying about you. "If you don't at the very least disinfect the area you might get sick too." You'd only just closed the door behind you before he had started.

"I'm not really worried about that, if I'm going to get sick I probably already caught it from you yesterday."

"...I suppose you're right." As you're setting down the soup, Riddle sits up from bed attempting to get out from beneath the covers. "Let me make you-"

"No you stay in bed. If you want tea I'll make it." You have to remind him several times to actually stay in bed in rest, he doesn't argue once reminded, however, he does huff. You don't help. Almost getting kicked out after playfully offering to feed him his soup, his face quickly turning red.

"That's not necessary and you know it!"

t - tears, how often do they cry? what can cause it? what do they do when you cry? are they good at cheering you up?

Riddle prefers to cry alone. It's easier that way. If he's by himself he doesn't need to explain his life. Explain why even though there's nothing particularly wrong now, the frustrations from his past still weigh on him enormously. A pressure that he finds easy to relieve through tears and control.

He wonders if it's because he often cries alone that he's at a loss for words upon seeing you cry. He won't ask you to explain, he knows that can be the hardest part. He won't attempt a joke, fearing his humour may fall flat. The best that he has is a reassuring hand on your back, and a simple:

"It will be alright."

u - undo, how do they attempt to be forgiven for making you upset? what do you need to do after making them upset to get their forgiveness?

There's little hesitation on Riddle's part when he's upset you, especially if he understands what it is that he's done to make you angry. He'll apologise and hope that his genuine words will be enough to smooth things over. If not he'll give you space and try to apologise again another day.

It's trickier if you've upset him. If it's a minor issue an apology will suffice, but if your actions have really angered him, you'll get the silent treatment. After he's flown off the handle and lectured you for acting so ridiculously. Sometimes he'll be stubborn enough to even ignore several attempts of reconciliation on your end, leaving you to figure out ways on your own to get your apology across.

After one fight, where he'd been actively avoiding you afterwards. You'd left red roses and apology notes for him to find for a few days in hopes of forgiveness. It took about three days, but he came around and even offered you his own apology for ignoring you for so long.

#this was 135 for the number game #3k celebration #twisted wonderland #twst #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts #riddle #riddle x reader #twst riddle #riddle twst #x reader alphabet

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attractive-nuisance-esq · 1 year ago

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I really just don’t know what to do with myself right now. I have to put this somewhere. I have to. And it can’t go on Twitter because my ex is over there.

Watching Aziraphale choose Heaven over Crowley was bad. But watching him ask Crowley to be an angel again was worse. I broke up with my girlfriend in 2019 after five years of her hiding me, toying with me, gaslighting me, manipulating me. She didn’t do any of it maliciously, but I was too broken for all of those years to believe I could get - or deserved - anyone better.

And there are too many parallels between me and Crowley to go into, but suffice it to say I’m in recovery. Author Mia Ugly made Crowley an addict in their AU fic Slow Show… I read that novel-length fic from start to finish three times. It was the perfect metaphor for a human version of Crowley. I look at this character, and I see me.

When I finally ended it with my ex, I wrote her this long, long letter after I spent months reading nothing but GO fanfic. Like, not even other books. Just fanfic about this angel and demon finally making it work. It took me a while to realize I couldn’t stop reading about Crowley and Aziraphale making it work because my god, they were us. She had so many chances, and I just kept waiting for scraps like they were a whole damn feast. My god… how I loved her. Enough to keep believing in her, no matter how many times she let me down. But the difference between us and them was that in all of these fics, Aziraphale would choose Crowley. Crowley exactly as he is. Be proud of him. Protect him. Cherish him. Grow with him. Apologize to him.

I told her all of this. It was too late for us, but at least I had those fics.

And I just… I was not prepared for episode six. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that this season would end with heartbreak. But then Aziraphale chose the safety of an institute again. And far, far worse, he asked Crowley with no small amount of giddy delight and anticipation to stop being Crowley. To be a completely different person. Someone acceptable to Aziraphale. Someone he wouldn’t think to hide. Someone he wouldn’t have to change.

And it just… happened. There on screen. I watched it happen to Crowley, just like it happened to me.

I’m so tired. I’m so, so tired. I have a headache from crying so hard. This post isn’t really about the characters or even the show, I guess. But if any other fans have some kind and/or hopeful words, I’ll take ‘em. Mostly I just needed to put this out there somewhere, so these feelings aren’t rattling around in my head all night.

#good omens #good omens season two #good omens 2 #crowley #anthony j crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable partners #aziracrow #crowley x arizaphale #gomens #gomens 2 #gomens s2

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fruitymocha · 2 years ago

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Elysian

That dream where Albedo crafted you from the finest marble

Featuring: Albedo x gn!Reader (they/them and you/your used)

Warnings: Reader has existential crises at least once per POV switch, slight religious themes,

A/N: here’s you guys’ early Valentine’s gift from me to you. yes, I finally decided to do an explicitly romantic piece (that isn’t yandere). And yes, this is inspired by the myth of Pygmalion and Galatea (actually, it’s more of an au/retelling). It was too good of a concept to pass up on writing. Also you guys have no idea how long it took to find the perfect title (I went through a lot of different ones before settling on this one). By the way, this story kinda takes place in an au where everyone from Mondstadt is living in a sort of Ancient Greece type location instead of regular Mondstadt. I hope I’ve done this concept justice, and without further ado…

Let me make your dream come true…

The reds, pinks, golds, and oranges of the dawn filtered through the windows, coloring the blank canvases, parchments, and sketchbooks, as well as the stocks of clay, glass, metal, wood, and marble.

That’s when Albedo knew he had stayed up too late, pouring over his artistic endeavors. Well, it’s nothing new, of course. It is what he is known for, after all. Albedo, the recluse Renaissance man. He is the epitome of the genius stereotype. A brilliant mind who is awake far beyond reasonable hours, slaving away at the latest inspiration, theory, or idea. A brilliant mind that seemingly has that spark of madness. A brilliant mind who lives for his work. And the two closest colleagues he has, Sucrose and Timaeus, are unable to stop him, though they try with logical reasoning and kind words.

Sucrose walked into the ivory and caramel-colored studio early in the morning to greet Albedo, who had decided to work with her in her endeavors to study biology. Now imagine her surprise to see her mentor with bruise-like dark circles under his eyes, carefully scanning the details of a work in progress sketch. Perhaps a new painting idea, or perhaps he finally decided on a new project for his chalk pastels. It didn’t matter, really. Clearly, Albedo was in desperate need of rest. She cleared her throat, which did nothing to catch the attention of the pale-haired man. Sucrose figured it must have been because her voice was too quiet, or because Albedo was in his own little world, or a combination of the two. With this in mind, the mint haired girl stepped closer to get his attention and let him know she had arrived. In this process, she was able to get a glimpse of a still-life sketch from over his shoulder. A single cecilia in a vase. She barely got to appreciate the sketch before the sketchbook was abruptly pulled away from her gaze and slammed shut by none other than Albedo himself.

“It was uninspired anyway,” he muttered to himself. “I need a grander idea,”

“Um, Mr Albedo-?”

“I knew you were there, Sucrose, I just needed to get everything on paper before I forgot the concept while focusing on our biology studies,” he explained.

“Uh- shouldn’t you get some rest?”

“I’ll be just fine, Sucrose,” he assured her, but Sucrose wasn’t entirely convinced.

“Are you sure, Mr Albedo? You have some pretty dark circles under your eyes-”

“A sip or two of wine should suffice, Sucrose,” Albedo interrupted her concerns, and Sucrose could do nothing but relent. After all, Albedo is the one supervising her, not the other way around.

~*~

After going through a couple scientific experiments with Sucrose and Timaeus assisting him, Albedo made his way back to his isolated studio up in the mountains. Luckily, summer was approaching, meaning the mountain winds didn’t have that wintry bite to them. Instead, they were cool and relaxing as the zephyrs flowed through his fluffy hair.

Many criticized Albedo for his lifestyle, and that notion never truly left his mind, unless he was drowning his mind in academia or the arts to express his passions for such subjects. They called him a loner. Now that wasn’t necessarily true. He enjoyed the company of Sucrose and her biology endeavors. He appreciated Timaeus and his dedication to alchemy. He admired the Traveling Twins, who knew their fair share of the world and the different cultures they’ve been exposed to. And he liked to be in their company, too. Though neither Albedo nor the twins were astronomers in any sense, they did like to occasionally talk about or study the stars together.

But the nearby villagers don’t know that about Albedo because they don’t care to. They just like to point fingers and call him the loner mad genius simply because silence and alone time bring him peace and happiness. He’s perfectly content skipping out on large feasts and village-wide worship of the Gods, but evidently that’s frowned upon. Some have even started the rumor that he’s sworn himself to never fall in love. That never actually happened, he simply isn’t interested in any of the local villagers. No, he can’t imagine ever thinking of any local villager in a romantic light. In the past, he still held hope that he’d meet someone different. Someone with whom he could share mutual appreciation and respect.

Someone who wouldn’t judge him for his behavior. Someone who would instead try to be empathetic and understand things from his perspective.

But no, no one in this tiny communal village has that sort of grace or kindness to them. He’s given up on that fantasy. Perhaps he should seriously consider adopting a nomadic lifestyle for a bit and explore the world with Aether and Lumine. Maybe only then would he find someone to suit his tastes, wants, and needs.

Before he knew it, Albedo had arrived at the door of his secluded studio, roof supported by towering columns. Caryatid columns, the columns made to look like women supporting the roofs of buildings with just their heads.

It was then that Albedo had been struck with inspiration.

He rushed into the studio, pulling out his sketchbook and using his stylus to sketch a figure. A figure that did not yet have a definite appearance, simply a vaguely human body in a vaguely anatomically accurate pose. Leaning forward, with robes and a vague sketch of hair billowing around the body as if the wind were caressing the figure. A hand outstretched in an almost theatrical manner. The figure was just like the frescoes of nymphs and angels on the ceilings of some temples of worship.

And then drowsiness hit Albedo like a spell. He knew he wouldn’t get anything substantial down in this state, so he decided to leave the details for tomorrow. Besides, he had big plans for this concept. He knew he’d need to be absolutely focused on each and every detail. But first, he’d need materials. Yes, he’d need a supplier to get him an appropriately sized block of the finest marble…

~*~

For next couple days, Albedo was hard at work, trying to vividly imagine the perfect being to encapsulate in marble. What body type should they have? What kind of hair type, and how long? What would the shape of their eyes be? What about face shape? Nose? Lips? He tried to mix and match many different combinations of features, but it always seemed like something was off. Missing. But what?

Just then, a knock was heard at the door.

“Come in,” Albedo called out to the visitor as he took one last look at the sixth facial rough draft. The door opened to reveal Aether and Lumine. “Ah, it’s you two. Welcome to the studio. What brings you here?”

“Sucrose told us you were busy at work with a ‘grand project’. May we inquire as to what that project is?” Lumine asked.

Albedo thought for a moment. This project, as grand as he believes it to be, is a project he holds dear to his heart. To reveal everything would be to lay his heart out for all to see. He would be completely vulnerable. But he still trusted the twins with his feelings, so he gave them just enough information.

“I was inspired by the Caryatids outside the studio. I was…overcome with a desire to sculpt a person,” he explained carefully.

“So are you going to find a model?” Aether asked.

“No,” Albedo said immediately, perhaps slightly harsh in tone. He cleared his throat, and attempted to prevent a misunderstanding from arising due to his carelessness. “I’d rather not base the image on someone else. This is a being of my own creation. A muse that has yet to exist,”

“Do you know what the statue’s gonna look like yet, Albedo?” Aether asked, as Lumine eyed the sketchbook left open on the page of drafts.

“I’m guessing it’s a work in progress,” Lumine said, still eyeing the drafts. Albedo grabbed the sketchbook, promptly closing it.

“I’m still working out the details, but I think I have a general idea…” Albedo looked away briefly, almost in a timid manner.

“So, would this…muse to-be…be your ideal person?” Lumine inquired.

“Ideal…person?”

“Like, romantically? Would they be your dream lover?” Lumine pressed on.

“That’s- that is not the intention I had for this project. I simply felt like creating a human sculpture,” Albedo was nothing short of bewildered by Lumine’s suggestion.

“Lumine! You can’t just make assumptions like that! Sorry, Albedo,” Aether apologized awkwardly. Albedo simply sighed.

“It’s quite alright. I’m used to…strange assumptions… at this point,”

Of course that didn’t make it any less jarring for him to think about this odd suggestion. However, Albedo wasn’t about to let Aether or Lumine carry the burden of guilt for stirring emotions he’s certain they didn’t mean to provoke. And so, he bid the twins farewell at sunset so they’d have enough time to get to the village before nightfall. Meanwhile, on the seventh draft, Albedo took features he’d liked from the previous six, as they’d all had similar faces, but slightly different auras to them.

As night fell, Albedo looked at the finished seventh draft. Something still felt missing, though the model was perfect. But what was missing? Albedo decided to take a break and look out the window to calm his mind. The stars were twinkling, painting the indigo sky with light.

Huh. Light.

Albedo turned back to the seventh draft. That’s it. Of course! Each draft had an aura, but it was missing a light. And so, Albedo focused on adding that light to those eyes.

And there was his muse. His greatest project. Perhaps even his magnum opus. Only time will tell, but one look at the seventh draft, and he knew it was the final draft. His muse was finally complete. Now all that was left was for the marble shipment to arrive.

~*~

The marble had arrived. Now of course Albedo never neglected his alchemical studies nor Sucrose and Timaeus’ occasional request for help or clarification. However, just thinking about getting to shape the fine marble sitting in his studio was enough to make him feel giddy. Everything was there, he just needed to put in the work.

So when he got back to his studio at the end of the day, and saw the giant block of marble sitting under his skylight, he was itching to get on the oddly shaped (but perfectly stable and practical) wooden platform and grab hold of his mallet and chisel.

And that’s exactly what he did.

For the next few weeks, he slaved away at the slab of marble, getting every detail down. Every edge, every curve, every crease and every mark. And of course, he never forgot to give his muse that light in their eyes. And finally, his muse was finished.

At the foot of the statue, Albedo gazed at those light-filled eyes. And right then and there, he felt a strange fondness. Like he wanted to cherish it for himself. The magnum opus no one would be able to freely gaze at. No one but Albedo himself, the creator. But he realized he forgot one thing: a name.

He tried many different ones with many different origins, meanings, and sounds. But eventually he settled on one.

“Hello, Y/N. My name is Albedo, and I am your creator,”

~*~

You were nothing but a marble statue. A hand reaching out for nothing, yet outstretched so delicately. You could not express your emotions on your face, nor speak, nor move. And yet, you knew that you were conscious. Sentient. You could feel and think just as your Creator could. Or, at least it seemed to work similarly for you based on what your Creator vocalized to you.

Mostly, he wallowed in loneliness and misunderstanding, but he always told you that he felt at ease with you. Sometimes, though, he’d get visitors.

A short, mint haired girl named Sucrose, who evidently studies biology and alchemy under your Creator’s supervision. She was soft-spoken and kind. She always referred to your Creator as “Mr Albedo”. As for how she treated you, she was in awe. She quite liked your robes and your expression, and sometimes she would talk to you, as well. You liked her presence, and perhaps if you could move or speak, you would’ve liked to be her friend. Friend is the right word, yes? At least, Creator calls her “friend” and you think you’d like to spend time with Sucrose the same way he does.

A young man with brown hair named Timaeus, who also studies alchemy, but evidently does most of his work in the village. Apparently, the village is filled with people, but your Creator has said many times before that the people there make assumptions about him. You’d like to go to the village anyway, though, if only to see Timaeus’ work (and maybe make those villagers understand that they were wrong about Creator).

Blonde haired twins. The boy, Aether, had his hair in a braid, and primarily wore gold and dark brown. He was kind, and always willing to help. He simply referred to your Creator as Albedo. Aether would sometimes put things in your outstretched marble hand, such as flowers. You really appreciated that. In fact, he, Sucrose, or your Creator himself would take the time to explain what it was you were holding. You wished you could go outside so that you could see the flowers growing in their natural habitats. Maybe you could even go with Aether, or Sucrose, or-… well, as much as you’d like the idea, you doubted Creator would humor you just to take you to see flowers. But it would be the perfect opportunity to let Creator take a break, Y/N! Your inner self told you. No, you knew your best bet was convincing Aether or Sucrose. Lumine, the pale haired one cut in a bob, wearing white and pale blue, would tell you stories. Stories of foreign lands, epic battles for survival, and sometimes more mundane events such as strange, funny, or recent things they witnessed or heard from others. You’d never seen the faces of the people Lumine talked about, like Jean, Klee, Diluc, or Venti. But, due to all the stories you’d heard about them, you already felt connected to them in some way, like distant friends.

Even so, you still longed for a way to leave the studio in the mountains, and see all these people for yourself. See the world for yourself. Oh, how you longed for someone to grant you true life. Perhaps Creator, who in theory could figure out a way to create life someday. Or Sucrose, who specializes in studying life and living organisms. Or even the patron god of this nation that everyone talks about. What was his name? Ah yes, you remembered now: Barbatos. Perhaps he could extend his divine touch and bless you from the heavens, or wherever it is that he resides.

But for now, you’d simply have to remain content with what you had.

~*~

Albedo, in the end, allowed his closest friends to see his masterpiece. But as the days went by, he felt more and more of an attachment to the marble statue in the center of the studio. As the days went by, your presence only became more and more lovely. Why or how, Albedo couldn’t put his finger on, but he knew he was falling hard and deep. For you. You, who embodied everything divine and perfect and Elysian. You, an entity Albedo couldn’t fully break away from.

And so, he started to come up to you in your delicately crafted glory. He stood upon your platform, and gently rested his face on your outstretched hand. “Oh, Y/N, how I wish you were truly alive…” he murmured, staring at your unmoving eyes. “Perhaps then, you and I could form a true bond. Not one of Creator and the Created, but simply two souls that belong side by side,”

Obviously, you did not move, nor make noise. You were a statue, after all. Nothing more. Were the villagers right? Was Albedo truly so isolated he grew an attachment to a human-shaped object by accident? No, it couldn’t be, for he already had close friends he saw fairly often. And yet there was something about you that drew him in, statue or not.

He recalled Lumine saying something about inventing an ideal partner. At the time, it sounded absurd, and absolutely was not his intention. But now, Albedo wasn’t so sure of himself. Maybe it wasn’t the intention, but did Albedo end up creating a dream person by accident? Is that what you are to him? He didn’t exactly know, but he knew one thing: he did care for you immensely. You were precious to him, that was undeniable, and he couldn’t imagine that ever changing.

Before he knew it, it was nighttime once again. “Y/N, I’d better get some rest. It is already late. Good night,” he said, gently running his thumb across your outstretched palm before stepping off the platform you stood on, and making his way to the corner of the studio where he often slept, not too far from the skylight, which you now stood under.

~*~

Days went on like this. You wondered what he meant when he spoke to you about bonds. You were his Creation, but it seemed he wanted something different from you. Would he prefer it if you considered him a friend, like Sucrose and the twins were to you and him? Or was there something else still? As much as you tried, you couldn’t easily make that transition in your mind. You managed to stop referring to him as “Creator” in your head, but you could not quite bring yourself to refer to him by his name. It felt too special for you to use, as you were but a being of marble. You were not human.

As the days passed, you would watch him work on his art projects. Sometimes, he would sketch things in the studio that he brought from the outside world, such as fruit or flowers. Sometimes he’d use chalk pastels or charcoal and draw something, or someone. There were even times when he’d do something more hands on, such as pottery, glass blowing, or wood carving. He did like to experiment in every sense of the word, it seemed. But he put the most effort into his paintings and his marble sculptures. And no matter what he worked on that day, he’d always show you what he accomplished with a shining light in his eyes. Genuine passion. He’d ramble to you about what inspired the art piece, explain his thought process, and share what the piece was supposed to represent. It seemed every piece had a story. A purpose. If you were a Creation in the same way that his paintings were, then what did you represent? What was your story? What was your purpose? He never did tell you, even if he did show you great care and kindness.

Every day was like this.

Until Sucrose and the twins came to inform the lone sculptor of the coming celebration. Down in the village, seven days would be given for the people to dedicate themselves to their patron god, Barbatos. Seven days to appreciate what he stood for: the winds and freedom. The temples would also be open to accept confessions and prayers from all who sought out guidance. At least, that’s what Sucrose told you.

Funny how no one knew of your sentience, yet they treated you as a living being and friend anyway. Was it your human design that prompted this? You found this to be likely. But you secretly hoped that someone had noticed the spark of life in your marble eyes, no matter how faint. If those around you truly understood you, you would be less lonely inside. Sure they talked to you, and acted like you could hear them (which you could, but they didn’t know that), but it was a one-way path. They couldn’t hear your thoughts. You couldn’t express your emotions to them. They had you, but you didn’t truly have them, did you?

In any case, Sucrose, Aether, and Lumine all suggested that your creator at least spend one day of the festival down in the village. He said that he’d consider it, but your weren’t entirely sure he meant it. After they left, the alchemist sighed and slumped into his painting chair.

“As if I want to go to the village… then again, if I don’t go I’ll get more criticism… hm…” he continued to mutter to himself about the good and bad sides of going to the village. You want him to go though. Just once. Even if you will be lonely up in the studio on your own. It’s okay, as long as he lives life. He sighed again.

“Just one day. I’ll go for just one day. And I’ll bring you something from the village. That way, you can also celebrate and show respect to Barbatos,” he said to you in that smooth, calming voice of his. You’ll miss him dearly, of course. But you’re also so happy that he decided to enjoy himself, at least for one day. And you’ll even get a small thing so you can celebrate too, even if you are stuck in your marble form.

But it seemed the festival wouldn’t be happening for a while. So you and he waited.

And as the time passed, you began to notice smaller details and habits. The more you stared into his eyes, the more you felt drawn by their bright hue. His pale hair looked quite nice from where you stood. Perhaps if you could move your fingers, you’d like to see for yourself just how his hair feels. You imagine it to be soft and pleasant to the touch. Your heart seemed to overflow with a certain feeling whenever he came up to you and gently held your outstretched hand, or looked deeply into your eyes.

But you knew it was not the same as your fondness for Sucrose, Aether, and Lumine. With them, you simply wanted to spend time, have a good laugh, and share conversations and memories. With your sculptor, you wanted… more. You didn’t know exactly what you wanted from him, but you knew you wanted to be closer to him than any other. You cared for him very much, and wished for nothing but time and closeness. Together. He always tells you that you were a gift from above: a glimpse of divinity. However, you couldn’t help but think of him in a similar way. While appearance is trivial compared to character, you could not deny the way his appearance seemed to exude grace, wisdom, and compassion. There was a dreamlike gentleness to his very soul that bled out into his outward appearance, and you would be a fool to lie and tell yourself it was an illusion. The only problem was that you didn’t have a word for this sentiment. You knew it was more than friendship, but what could be more than friendship?

Is this the type of bond he wanted? Or were you being too much? How could you ever know?

Unless you somehow prayed to Barbatos for guidance. After all, you already knew how the ritual worked after watching your dear sculptor openly pray in your line of sight multiple times. Perhaps if you managed to do so during the festival, you’d be more likely to receive an answer?

All you have to do is wait.

~*~

Albedo felt like he was losing his mind. Only slightly, but the feeling was there nonetheless. He felt an unusual attachment to Y/N, his beloved muse. They were nothing but a statue, and yet it was as if they had a soul all their own. And not just a “soul” of art, meant to convey the story or purpose of an art piece. No. Albedo felt a certain aura coming from Y/N. Almost as if they were conscious. Sentient. Alive.

Regardless, Albedo found himself becoming more wistful and forlorn at the fact that you were not technically a person. Simply a creation he thought up one day and gave a marble vessel to. He found himself wishing you did have a human body. He could feel it in his bones that if Y/N were to become a being of flesh and blood, they would stick by him. But would they love you? His inner voice interjected. Would they know what love even is?

Albedo had no way of knowing the answer.

Unless he decided to seek guidance from Barbatos, that is. Perhaps on the day he decides to go to the village, he can stop by one of the shrines of depths and pray. What he would ask of the Wind God, Albedo didn’t know, exactly. But he knew he had to ask about Y/N.

~*~

And so, the first day of the Festival began after your patient waiting. The sculptor had left, not for the village, but to get fresh air and create art outside. He reasoned with you that doing outdoor activities amidst the mountain breezes would show sufficient appreciation for the Anemo God’s wind currents. Oh, how you wished you could feel such a thing against your skin. The most you could do was listen to its whispers from the inside.

But you had plans for this first day. You decided you would attempt to sleep. While you had no need for it, not being truly alive, you wanted to experience what he referred to as “dreams”. You decided to try and calm your mind… let it wander.

But you did not seek to dream for the sake of dreaming. No. You sought to use dreams to communicate with others. Perhaps through your dream, you could contact the great Wind God and ask to be granted life. And, at night, as an added bonus, you could try to communicate with your sculptor— no— Albedo, through these dreams. Your heart fills with joy at the thought of finally being able to express your thoughts and feelings, and truly form a bond with him. However, try as your instincts might, your current marble vessel cannot move to express the joy and energy that fills you to the brim. It feels as if a whirlwind were trapped, encased within a jar made of thick glass, difficult to break through. Oh how you could not wait to make this first attempt at contact.

When Albedo returned, you had noticed that his hair had become tousled playfully by the winds outside, and he was none the wiser as to the state of his pale locks. He once again decided to show you his latest creation, as he always did.

“Look at this latest painting, Y/N. It depicts the winds blowing against a field of wildflowers. Yes, this location is on the mountain. I decided to paint this in honor of the first day of the festival, since the wind’s effect on the wildflowers is technically the focus. I… I wish you could have seen it for yourself instead of a painted recreation. But, it can’t be helped. You are a being of Elysian marble, after all. I couldn’t possibly risk the elements damaging you,” he set the painting on his previously empty easel, and poured himself a glass of wine. As he took delicate sips of the red drink, he glanced at you every now and then.

“Tomorrow, I will go outside with Aether and Lumine. We will see if we can find something suitable for you to hold for the rest of the festival. But for now, I must get ready for bed. Good night, my dear Y/N,” he said. And when he rested his head upon the pillow of his bed, you too, prepared for a night of dreams.

~*~

Albedo was in a sea of grass and wildflowers, rippling like waves due to the cool winds. But there was something else. In the center was a circle of cobblestone, and a marble pedestal. Just in front was a plaque that had your name on it, a short description of how you came to be underneath, as well as your creator’s name.

But you were gone. The Elysian figure was missing from their rightful place. Albedo, unaware he was dreaming, quickly became concerned with your whereabouts.

Meanwhile, you walked barefoot among the wildflowers. Yes, walked! Your skin was no longer pale marble, but a lovely and healthy shade of (s/c). Your hair was well kept and (h/c), with the perfect (hair type) locks. You, unfortunately, could not see your eyes, as there was nothing around that could reflect your face back to you. But no matter. Perhaps in another dream a mirror or other reflective surface would be more readily available to you. You excitedly flexed your fingers and toes and arms and legs, and you stuck out your tongue, moved your eyebrows, smiled widely. You did all those things you saw everyone else do and more. You twirled in the dream-wind, spinning on the balls of your feet, and soon enough you jumped and swayed your arms, playing around with the freedom of movement you never had as a marble statue. And all the colors and sounds around you were so pleasant and vibrant and comforting to you. If this is what it meant to live, then surely the Wind God would not fault you for your desire of true life.

Everything was in so much detail you could almost feel the wind and smell the flowers. It was all perfect. Albedo truly did have a vivid and artistic vision, even asleep! But you soon noticed him concerned over your whereabouts, and you noticed your vacant pedestal. So you decided to approach him carefully.

And soon enough, the both of you locked eyes in this wondrous dreamscape Albedo created. Or did you create it? Was it a combination of both? Surely it must have been, or perhaps it didn’t matter. It could have been orchestrated by Barbatos himself for all you care. What mattered was that you both froze at the eye contact.

“…Y/N?” Albedo asked tentatively.

“Indeed. I’m here,” you smiled widely. You decided you liked your voice. Surely you must find a way to use it more when you are granted life.

There was only one problem.

You knew Albedo didn’t recognize you as sentient. He had not reached a point of lucidity in this dreamscape. Even if he did, he likely thought you were a figment of his subconscious reflecting his desires back to him. But he’d understand someday, you were sure of it.

“I want to ask you something. Before you wake,” you said tentatively.

“Of course, what is it?” you could tell Albedo was still somewhat bewildered by your human form in this dream world.

“Is there something beyond friendship?”

Albedo paused for just a second before responding.

“Yes, of course. Love,”

Love. Is this the answer you were looking for? Is this what you felt for him?

“What does it mean… to love?” You asked him. Albedo chuckled and smiled.

“Why don’t we sit down?” You caught a starry glint in his eyes. Not of mischief, but of genuine happiness. The same glint he always had when he showed you his art pieces. But somehow, it was stronger. Was it because he could finally talk to you? You sat down across from him, among the rippling wildflowers.

“Love can have different forms, actually. You can have philia: ‘love’ for your friends. Though that really is known as friendship,”

“Like with Sucrose and Aether and Lumine!” You said excitedly. “I’d like to be friends with them when I am granted life,”

“Right. Then there’s storge: love for your family,” you stopped smiling.

“But…as your Creation…I have no family,” Albedo gently placed a hand on top of yours.

“Family doesn’t have to mean blood related. Sure, most people mean that when they say family, but in your case, you can choose. Whoever you feel can support you and stick by you like a parent with their child, or a sibling with their fellow sibling, or whatever you want to imagine,”

“So, storge is love for someone who guides you through this world with love, right?”

“It’s a little more complicated than that, but once you’re granted life, we can talk more about the world,” Albedo promised.

“Is there an example in the real world you can give me?” You asked.

“I suppose I’m like an older brother to Klee, if we’re listing people you already know…” you smiled once again.

“Okay. Is there anything else?”

“Oh there’s more than just two. I’m just getting started,”

“What’s next?”

“There’s agape: the love people have for humanity itself,”

“You can love everyone?”

“Well, not every single individual, no. It really means something more along the lines of compassion or empathy. Where you’d be willing to help or care for others when they need it,”

“Ah, okay, so would that apply to the village?”

“Actually, yes. Mostly,”

“Except they don’t really like you,”

“Hold on, there, they don’t hate me. They just don’t know me that well,”

“…If you say so…” you said. And then you felt it. Your fingers and hands and wrists became stiff, as did your toes and feet and ankles. You looked down at your hands, terrified of the lack of movement. You were slowly turning back into marble and you could feel it. You began to panic. “Why is this happening? I’m dreaming- I can’t- I don’t-”

Albedo grabbed you and held you close, running his fingers through your hair. “Hey, you’re okay, I promise,” he said to you. It crawled up your arms and calves.

“No… I don’t want to be a statue… I want to live!”

“You will be granted life. I will make sure of it,” you felt in go to your upper arms and thighs. There was no way for you to move now.

“Every day… I just want to live like you. I want to leave the mountain and meet people… I want to actually talk to Sucrose… and Aether… and Lumine… and you. I want to meet everyone you all talk about… I want to know what it is you mean when you say you want to create a bond with me…”

It was up to your midsection, creeping too close to your heart for comfort.

“Please don’t cry, Y/N, you’re going to be okay, you’ll be alive soon,” he promised. You couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, and barely choked back the sobs wrecking your throat.

“I need you to listen to me… I can hear you… and I can see you in the real world. I may not be able to speak to you, or move, or show my emotion on my face… but I am sentient… I can think and feel just like you, out there… please believe me…” it soon reached your neck.

“…you’re not dying, Y/N… you’re okay, as long as you haven’t been chipped away, or destroyed…” you saw a glint of lucidity. He now knew this was a dream. But he never confirmed that he believed in your sentience.

“…don’t you believe me…? I may not have a vessel of flesh and blood… but in my mind I’m real… I’m a person… I’m alive in my mind… why won’t you believe me…?” It made its way to your jaw, and now you’d hair was solid and unmoving. Albedo said nothing. He simply put his chin on the top of your head and held you close.

And then your crying stopped. Albedo closed his eyes, and held you, but soon enough, your presence was gone altogether. Your platform and plaque were also gone. And the wildflowers suddenly didn’t look so vibrant or beautiful to Albedo anymore.

Your consciousness returned to the marble vessel in the studio. You were stuck once again. You wish you could cry or scream or throw a fit. But you couldn’t let it out. All you could do was try to bear the emotional pressure that filled you to the brim. You could hear Albedo’s soft breaths behind you. He must still be asleep.

He didn’t believe you, did he?

Was it really a good idea to follow him into his dreams?

Perhaps tomorrow night, you should attempt contact with the Wind God instead.

You could hear Albedo tossing and turning in his sleep behind you.

~*~

The second day arrived, and a new face burst through the studio. A little girl with blonde pigtails and a red dress. She was very excitable, and you almost worried she’d crash into one of your creator’s works.

“Klee, be careful!” Albedo warned her, though his voice still maintained that calm and collected demeanor.

So this is Klee.

“Okay!” She said, ceasing to run, though she still jumped in place a bit. Then she noticed you in the middle of the studio. Of course. “Who is this person?” She asked.

“Y/N, my latest marble sculpture. Aren’t they lovely?”

“They’re very nice looking! I wish they were a real person, then you wouldn’t be so lonely up here,” if you had the ability to laugh, you would have.

“I’m not lonely, Klee. Sucrose and the twins visit me often, and Timaeus stops by sometimes as well,”

Sucrose, who accompanied Klee during her trip to the studio, nodded her head in agreement.

“But when they’re not here and I’m not here you’re alone,” You found it particularly satisfying how Klee essentially voiced your unheard concerns in your stead. You tell him, Klee!

“…Y/N keeps me company…”

“Mr Albedo, Y/N is a statue,” Sucrose pointed out.

“Regardless,” Albedo interrupted, wanting to move on, “we should be getting ready to go down to the village,”

“Yay, festival day!” Klee got all energetic and excited again.

“After today there are still five more days, Klee. So don’t feel like you need to do everything all at once today,” Sucrose reminded her gently.

“Okay!” She said. Albedo then looked up at me as Klee was busy talking to Sucrose.

“Are you truly… sentient? Have I truly created a conscious being?” He asked softly, looking up at me. Of course I couldn’t respond. He took a deep breath and sighed.

“Okay, here’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to tell you a code word here in our waking world, and if you know the word when you gain true life, I will know for sure that you were right,”

You waited in anticipation for the word he would give you.

“…I’m sorry I can’t wholeheartedly believe in your sentience. I just have no way of proving it,”

So what’s the code word?

“Hmm… let’s see if I can come up with a good code word…” Albedo pondered for a moment before turning to you.

“I’ve got it,” he said with confidence. “Elysian,”

Elysian, huh? I can remember that…

“If you come to life, and you say this word, I will know you are sentient,” Albedo confirms.

“Albedo, are you coming? We’re going out to the town again,” Sucrose called.

He turned to look at Sucrose and Klee.

“Coming,”

He turned back to you.

“Goodbye, Y/N,”

And with that, you were all alone.

So you decided to try and sleep again.

~*~

When you opened your eyes, you were in an empty plane, with nothing but teal surrounding you, and a few cecilia flowers on the ground, creating a path to a short figure. They wore white garments that didn’t cover much of the body. Then again, you only wore a simple white robe. Who were you to judge? You loved the freeing feeling of being able to move once more, and ran over to the figure. They also had large white wings protruding from their back. Their hair was dark with longer teal ends, braided. Their eyes were a similar color.

“Who are you?” You asked them.

“I am Barbatos, God of Wind and Freedom,”

“I am Y/N… a marble creation made by Albedo,”

“Albedo… I am familiar with him and his… reserved tendencies,”

“Barbatos… may I ask a question?”

“Of course, Y/N,” he chuckled.

“What is stronger than friendship?”

“Why, love of course,”

“But what does it mean to love?”

“To love someone is to care for them. To see the inside and outside equally, and to accept their imperfections. But you want to know two types in particular: eros and pragma,”

“What do those mean?”

“Eros is the romantic or physical type of love. To find someone physically attractive, and initiate physical displays of affection. It’s sensual in nature. Pragma is a long term type of affection. The kind where you want to be with someone forever,”

“Is that how I feel about Albedo?”

“I don’t know, is it? Only you can know for sure, Y/N,”

You thought for a moment, almost scared of the epiphany you’d reached. You’d need time to digest it all. But you had one more thing to ask.

“If it isn’t too much to ask, I would like you to grant me freedom of my own,”

“What do you mean, Y/N? Are you unhappy with your life?”

“I want to be like the others. I want to live life as a human. I don’t want to be an unmoving statue for eternity,”

“Hmmm… I shall see what I can do, dear Y/N,”

“Thank you, Barbatos,”

He simply smiled as he played his lyre, and soon enough, you awoke.

~*~

As the days of the festival inched by, Albedo started to wonder what he should do. He had come to the strange conclusion that he had fallen in love with Y/N, his marble creation. But he had no idea how to cope with this latest discovery. So he visited the Temple of Barbatos in a time when the winds were strong and the sun was high.

“Lord Barbatos, hear my prayer,” he said to the towering winged statue as he placed his offering of cecilias. “May you grant me the freedom to find love similar in spirit to Y/N, my magnum opus,”

Barbatos, from the winds above, indeed heard Albedo’s prayer. Though he knew what Albedo truly wanted to say. He wanted Y/N themselves, not a mere facsimile. And with his prior knowledge of Y/N’s desire to have the same freedoms as a living human, he crafted his perfect plan for the two yearning souls.

~*~

When Albedo arrived back in his studio, he knelt at your feet.

“Y/N… you’ve stolen my heart. I cannot lie to myself, or to you. Oh how I wish you were made of warm flesh instead of cold marble,” he rose to step onto the platform, and cupped your cheek. “I fear I shall not be happy with anyone else except you,”

Barbatos, who watched from above, watched in anticipation, and enacted the plan.

Albedo kissed you on your marble lips, and the generous Barbatos granted you your ultimate freedom: humanity.

When Albedo separated from you, he leaped away in shock, and you stepped down from your platform. You looked at your hands, bending your fingers excitedly. You touched your hair, your robes, everything. You smiled.

“I’m alive!”

“Whats the code word?” Albedo asked, his voice nothing more than a wind’s whisper in awe.

You smiled wider.

“Elysian,”

Albedo leaped into your arms.

“So you were conscious the whole time,” he whispered.

“And I love you too,”

“Forever?” He asked.

“Forever,” you nodded.

~dream realized~

#genshin impact #genshin oneshots #genshin albedo #albedo #albedo x reader #oneshot #albedo x you #albedo x y/n #genshin x reader #genshin x y/n #genshin x you

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ladytanithia · 1 year ago

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WIP Wednesday - so I guess we're supposed to tag our friends on these? Still a Tumblr noob, sorry! let's see... @skyrim-forever, @gwilin-stay-winnin, @thequeenofthewinter, @mareenavee, @dirty-bosmer - I'd like to tag Topsy but he's been awfully busy lately...

Out of the Ashes, ch. 27

“The Dragonborn returns victorious,” Geldis cried when she descended the stairs, and by the tone of his voice, Miranja could tell he was bursting with pride.

Playing dumb, she said, “I defeated Alduin last year, Geldis. You’re behind the times.” She took a seat at the barstool next to Teldryn and ordered a Cyrodiilic brandy.

“I’m talking about the war over there, me gell,” Geldis scolded with a grin. “Heard you took out that racist bastard who was keeping our people in squalor in Windhelm.”

Miranja’s chest tightened, and she turned accusingly to Teldryn. “You told him?”

Teldryn held up his hands in a warding gesture. “He already knew. He asked me about the firsthand details, and I filled him in, but he already knew the general story.”

Miranja turned back to Geldis questioningly.

“This one’s on the house,” he told her, not pushing the brandy toward her across the counter but lifting it before her like a toast. “Gjalund told us when he brought supplies last week. Of course, being a Nord, he wasn’t very happy about it, but at least he doesn’t blame you in particular, and I daresay he’ll get over it. Very little will change in his life, but our people over there have hope now, thanks to you.”

“Gjalund and I had a little talk on the ship after we left Windhelm,” Miranja acknowledged. “He knows how terrible I feel about it, and that I truly wish it could have been different. I think it’ll be okay.”

“You feel bad about killing the man who was holding the Dunmer and Argonians back?”

Miranja cringed a little under Geldis’ indignant look, but she held her ground. “He was still one of my mother’s people. He wanted Skyrim to be free of the Aldmeri Dominion and for people to be able to freely worship Talos, but he was holding the Empire responsible for the ban, even though it would have happened sooner or later. I understand where he was coming from, I just didn’t agree with how he was going about everything.

“It’s a long story, Geldis, and I’m tired. Suffice it to say that he is one of very few people I’ve killed whose names I’ve known. They were all trying to kill me first, of course, but Ulfric…” She stopped herself from finishing the sentence, not sure if Geldis – who was usually open-minded – would think less of her if he knew that she had been intimate with Ulfric once. Only once, but it was enough. She took a large mouthful of her brandy and swallowed it in one gulp, and it occurred to her that her twisted friend hadn't judged her for sleeping with Ondolemar; he'd helped her reenact it.

Geldis didn’t need the rest of the sentence; he made some other assumption about how she would have finished it, and he reached out and took her free hand in both of his. “Of course, you’re tired, luv. I know you used your best judgment. I’m sorry it was difficult for you.”

Teldryn had remained silent during this exchange, but when Geldis took her hands, he reached over and squeezed her thigh briefly, then left his hand on her knee, caressing her comfortingly. He’d definitely gotten better at the comfort thing during their trip.

“I’m just glad the war is finally over,” Miranja said after shuddering from the burn of the brandy. “But now…” She glanced back and forth between her friends, hating to make her admission even though she was quite close to both of them. “I’m not entirely sure I know myself anymore. I have a lot to think about, and decisions to make about who I want to be from now on.”

#skyrim #elder scrolls #miranja #fanfic #ao3 #dunmer #geldis sadri #teldryn sero #tanithia writes #wip wednesday

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kidgetrash · 2 years ago

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Drunk Kidge Confessions! Pidge to Keith!

Character: Keith Kogane, Pidge Gunderson/Katie Holt

Pairings: Keith/Pidge

Warnings!: Drunken shenanigans. Throwing up. Eventual Hangover. Dirty flirting. mention of STDs

Summary: Pidge finally plucked up the courage to ask Keith on a date, only to see him with Acxa. She decides to drown her sorrows with the local alcohol...

A/N: You voted and I delivered! I have not, even slightly, edited this! I hope it's not too all over the place, but I will go back and fix it if I need to! It ran away with me and ended up hella long, but I'm sure that won't upset anyone! Well, it's back to drunk Keith for me!

Pidge sat at the bar of a local tavern. She had never been happier that this culture took so much pride in brewing fruit based alcohol that not only tasted great but had one of the highest percentages she had ever heard of. She had checked, checked, and triple-checked that it was safe for humans, and she was sure she could drink herself into unconsciousness without doing any permanent damage other than a galaxy-ending hangover, even given her small stature.

She was sick and tired of emotions. She just wanted to blot them out, steep in complete oblivion for a few hours before having to go back to reality and stick a smile on her face while she faked she was okay. Spoiler alert; she was not okay. She chuckled to herself at the My Chemical Romance reference she accidentally made, then realised it reminded her of him again and returned to a pout. Him. Keith motherquiznaking Kogane. She hated that she felt the way she did about him. She hated that it had taken her this long to realise her feelings weren’t just admiration, or a crush. But most of all she hated the fact that he would never feel the same. She was sad for her, not mad at him. He deserved to be happy, but seeing him happy with her was somehow painful.

This planet had a bustling shopping district that had been preserved by the Galra for its eclectic mix of produce, products, bars, and restaurants. Now it was Galra free, in the political not literal sense, it was open for business to locals and saviours alike. Which was the reason for Pidge being here. She had found a restaurant that sold what closely reminded her of burgers and fries and was excited to share it with him, she had planned to finally do what her heart desired, and ask him on a date. Yeah, well that idea had soon been blown out of the water. No sooner had she rushed towards their temporary lodgings than she saw him with her, going into an accessories shop. They were smiling and laughing and…and…and just so happy. She was everything Pidge was not. Tall, slender, a warrior not a thinker. And the worst thing was Pidge didn’t even hate her, she couldn’t. Acxa had helped the team, defected to their side, and she and Keith made such a beautiful couple. After tonight she would be pleased for them, she decided. But for now, she would feel sorry for herself.

She took the shot from the glass in front of her, the sweet burn travelling through her body as she closed her eyes for a moment. This was number…four, five, six…wait, was that one glass or two? Definitely nearing double figures. Even more definitely double vision. Given her weight and height she should still be able to make it back to their lodgings with ten in her system, she just might have to ask someone to give her a total.

‘Another?’ The gold tinged skinned barman held the bottle of pale pink liquid out with another glass.

‘How many is that now?’

‘Eight.’ She waved him to pour it before taking it. ‘The ancient tradition of the barkeep, on my planet at least, is that of a bringer of alcohol and an ear to listen. Should you need to talk, even some nonsensical human issue, I will listen and offer any advice I feel may suffice to appease you.’

‘Wow, no beating about the bush, just lip service until I’m satisfied, huh?’ She replied, taking her time as she struggled to form the words without issue.

‘Beating a bush seems a futile endeavour, and I am afraid our service does not cover lips any further than serving a drink that may briefly touch them.’ He…wait, was it a he? She pondered the thought as it ran through her head. Okay, they, they had misunderstood her analogies.

‘They’re Earth sayings.’ She replied. ‘One means to, you know what? Doesn’t matter. I’m here because of something…personal.’

‘Might I proffer a guess?’ She waved her drink to encourage him. ‘Your inbibement of many alcohol leads me to believe your personal problem is that of a coital nature.’

Pidge spat out the drink she had just downed and took the napkins the barkeep offered. ‘That one does count.’

‘Number nine, again.’ He poured her once more. ‘Am I to assume your abrupt expulsion was due to the correctness of my statement and not due to the alcohol you have ingested all night suddenly disagreeing with you?’

‘You got that on the…’ She squinted at him and realised he didn’t have a nose, so that analogy wouldn’t work either. ‘You got it absolutely right.’

He wiped down the sprayed bar and answered without looking at her. ‘And this coital issue is due to your mate being unable to perform adequately?’

She was glad she had paused before drinking this time as that would have led to another bar spraying. ‘Not in my wildest dreams have I ever considered he might be inadequate, and I’ve had some pretty wild dreams about him.’ She huffed a deep sigh before taking the shot in one. ‘The issue is more emotional that physical. More that I love him and he sees me as his friend.’

‘It is times like this that I am grateful we have evolved beyond the need for emotional attachments.’ He smiled wonkily, which made sense, as his mouth was at a diagonal like the rest of the inhabitants of this planet. ‘So you have confessed your primitive affections and he has informed you of your unattractiveness to him, and therein lies the problem?’

‘Who has a problem?’ Pidge’s head shot round as Keith sat on the bar stool beside her and she waved at the bartender rapidly while tapping the glass in her hand on the bar.

‘Last one! Let’s go!’

The bartender topped up her drink as Keith spoke. ‘I’ll take the same.’

‘Very well, Paladin of Voltron. And to answer your question, the problem is your small companion here and her unattractiveness.’

Keith blinked twice as he processed that statement before being able to reply. ‘Wait…who said who is unattractive?’

‘Okay!’ Pidge downed her next drink. ‘I’m done and going back to sleep! Night!’ She hopped off the stool and that was her downfall, literally. Her legs buckled under her and she ended up sitting on the floor between the two stools, looking around in confusion before looking up at Keith. ‘You weren’t always that tall, right?’

Keith downed his drink, cringing at the sickly sweet burn that slid down his throat, before swinging his legs off the stool and taking Pidge by the upper arms and lifting her back to her feet, keeping a tight hold in case she couldn’t stay there herself. ‘How many did she have?’

‘Ten. She assured me in great detail that her body mass and lack of stature would allow her to ingest the measure of alcohol she stated.’

‘Gee, you’re pretty.’ Pidge breathed, looking up at Keith in wonder.

‘What do we owe you?’ Keith asked as Pidge wavered in his arms.

The bartender waved his hand dismissively. ‘It is a pleasure to have had the opportunity to serve our saviours in the great war with the galra.’

‘Okay, thanks.’ Keith turned back to Pidge and crouched enough to get on her level. ‘Pidge, can you walk?’

‘Of course I can walk, what kind of a question is that? ‘First I’m ugly, and now I can’t walk. Sheesh!’ She tried to shake off his hold but failed and he sighed.

‘Okay, fine, you can walk. But I’m going to hold your hand, just in case.’

‘Keith’s gonna hold my hand!’ She stage whispered at the bartender as they started forward, making Keith chuckle.

Pidge sucked in a breath as the night air hit her, warm and humid it was like inhaling near an open fire, a shiver running through her body, making Keith stop.

‘You good?’

‘Wow, I forgot how hot you are. It is.’ She rapidly corrected herself. ‘And you don’t have to hold my hand.’ She tried to pull out of his grip but instead he tightened it

‘Either you hold my hand or I carry you. Your choice.’

‘Fine I’ll hold hands but you’re gonna make her jealous.’ She muttered.

Keith didn’t quite catch what she said but at least she wasn’t trying to actively pull her hand out of his. Whatever that drink she had managed to drink ten of made her smell like an alcoholic gummy candy and from the one taste he had could have been used as an industrial solvent. He had no idea what had brought this on, she wasn’t one to even bother with more than one drink at a celebratory event, but she had even gone so far as to calculate her tolerance, if the bartender’s words were true.

‘So, tell me what made you decide to go out and get hammered?’

‘Nah.’ She shook her head, starting their hands swinging between them.

‘I have never known you drink that much, in all these years. Something is bothering you and I don’t like it.’

‘You don’t have to like it, but you do have to live with it.’ She stated. ‘Because the reason I drank so much is so I can forget what I’m trying to forget and not have to discuss it so I’m not discussing it.’

‘But I’m worried about you.’

‘Worry about yourself. Space STDs are at an all time high, I hear.’

‘I’m more worried about you than me…wait what did you say?’ Keith’s head snapped around to find her staring at the ground as they walked, her lips pouting either in concentration or anger.

‘I said SPACE STDS ARE AT AN ALL TIME HIGH!’ She yelled loud enough to turn the heads of a few locals, causing him to tug her in closer and cover her mouth with his hand.

‘That’s what I thought you said!’ He hissed. ‘What does that even mean?’

‘It means you might get cosmic herpes and if your girlfriend is the jealous type I’ll probably get my ass kicked from here to Olkarion.’

Keith pulled her to a stop, turning them to face one another. ‘You really aren’t making any sense.’

Pidge looked at him, or tried to. Her eyes were struggling to focus, but they did so as soon as she spotted the restaurant over his shoulder that she had planned on inviting him to. ‘Oh! This place!’

‘This place has…cosmic herpes?’ Keith asked hesitantly as he allowed her to pull him along.

‘No, burgers! Cosmic burgers!’ She put him in front of the menu board and showed him. ‘Tell me that’s not the menu of a burger joint? Because I defy you to tell me that they sound like the best burgers this side of the Milky Way, or at least the only burgers this side of the Milky Way, and I’m going to vomit.’

Keith finally let go of her hand as she lurched towards the side of the road before throwing up heavily and very vocally behind a tree. ‘Uh…you good?’ He called as she sank to her knees using the tree for support.

‘No, I’m not good!’ She called back, her voice cracking from not only losing everything in her stomach, which was only alcohol, and from the fact she was now tearing up.

Keith walked over to where she knelt and leaned on the safe side of the tree with his hands in his pockets. ‘You know, people generally only drink this much to forget.’ He murmured quietly.

‘Well, it doesn’t work.’ She sobbed, curling over her knees with her hands over her face.

‘Then maybe talking will.’ He suggested as he fished in his pockets for the Altean equivalent of a breath mint, that foamed, cleaned, and freshened all in one little capsule. ‘Here.’

She glanced up, her eyes red and brimming with unshed tears, but soon recognised what he was offering and and took it gratefully. The fruity alcohol had left her with the equivalent of the trick jelly beans Lance had once passed around the garrison. ‘Thanks.’ She shifted to sit crosslegged, not even caring that she was in the street beside her strangely glowing vomit. ‘I was going to ask you to this place, you know.’ She grumbled as she swished the capsule’s contents around her mouth.

He shifted in his position, taking his hands out of his pockets and turning to look down at her curiously. ‘You were?’

‘Yeah.’ She sniffed and dragged her sleeve under her nose. ‘Like a get dressed up just the two of us date and everything.’

Keith processed this information as he realised maybe she felt for him the way he felt about her; more than friends, a closeness he didn’t have with the other paladins, the desire to hold her and be held, to protect and love her. ‘Why, uh,’ he cleared his throat, ‘why didn’t you?’

‘Because I left it too long. Too late.’ She sniffled before pushing herself shakily to her feet.

‘You could still ask. We’re here for a few more days.’ He offered her his hand but she just stared at it for a moment before shaking her head as tears flooded her cheeks.

‘Can’t.’

‘Why not?’ He stepped closer, realising she wasn’t going to take his hand, before wiping at her cheeks with the pad of his thumb. ‘You, me, dinner at a diner? Alone? Sounds pretty good.’

‘Forget it, I don’t get between couples. And like I said, your girlfriend looks like the jealous type.’ She pushed past him and started walking wonkily down the street towards their lodgings, leaving him in absolute confusion. Only a minute later he jogged to catch up with her as he sorted his mind out. She had feelings for him and had wanted to ask him out, but she thought he had a girlfriend. This confused him even more. Unless she was seriously insulting Lance, the only other people she could mean were Allura, Romelle, or… ‘Wait, are you talking about Acxa?’

Pidge rolled her eyes as she swerved into the side street where their inn was located. ‘I don’t want to hear that name. That stupid, tall, attractive name. That stupid, tall, attractive, not-me name. That stupid, tall, attractive, not-me, dating you, name.’

Keith caught her arm, realising something had definitely been lost in translation here. ‘Acxa and I aren’t anything, other than colleagues.’ He told her as she stared at his fingers on her bare skin. ‘Where did you get a stupid, small, beautiful idea like that?’ He turned her words into something about her, at least he hoped she realised it was about her.

‘You think my idea is stupid?’ She pouted, wrinkling her nose in a gesture he could only describe as cute as hell.

‘Yeah, I do. Not you, you’re not stupid, but your idea is.’ He smiled.

‘But I saw you! You were all close and lovey-dovey when you were shopping together! You put your hand on her back like a gentleman, you were laughing and she was giggling, and…and…it hurt!’

‘There’s nothing between me and Acxa.’ He repeated. ‘Because for some reason a certain genius caught my eye and has been living rent free in my head and heart for the last few years.’

She raised her eyebrows in surprise, her mouth forming a small oh as realisation struck her. ‘Matt?’

‘Quiznak, for someone so smart, you really are dumb sometimes.’ He pulled her against him and ducked his head, planting a soft kiss on her lips. ‘I was shopping with Acxa because I wanted a girl’s opinion, or rather the opinion of a girl who was familiar with the situation and could advise me what to buy the team member I’ve been in love with for so long I don’t remember what it’s like not to love her.’ He reached into the back pocket of his jeans and brought out a small, plushie of the green lion, keyring sized, but adorable as hell. ‘What better way to tell you it’s you, than with a mini effigy of your lion?’

She stared at him and then did something completely unexpected. She laughed. The tears that had been drying up beginning to leak out with just how hard she she went, and it was several minutes before she took a step back from Keith and wiped at her eyes. ‘Quiznak, if I’d known drinking so much of this stuff would make me hallucinate I’d have just bought a bottle and stayed in my room! It’s me. That’s a good one, brain!’ She knocked on her temple a couple of times before staggering towards the entrance of the inn. ‘Goodnight, imaginary Keith! Thanks for making my night!’

Hunk trotted down the stairs opposite the entrance and past Pidge, she evidently said something to him as she leaned on the wall and slid her way up, as he frowned before turning to face Keith with a puzzled expression. ‘What was that about?’

‘I just confessed to Pidge and she thinks I’m a hallucination.’ Keith leaned down slightly and watched to make sure she made it up the stairs okay.

‘I can’t say I’m surprised.’ Hunk shrugged as Keith glanced back at him. ‘She’s pretty sure you will never feel the same way she does.’

‘She really does feel that way about me?’ Keith looked back after her in surprise.

‘For longer than you know, man.’ Hunk patted him on the shoulder then looked back at their companion as she slid down to sit on the top of the stairs. ‘And please, this time, you be the one to put her to bed and listen to her whine about how great you are.’

‘She’s done this before?’

‘Go put her to bed, Keith. Stick around. You might be surprised.’ Hunk gave him a wink before leaving Keith watch Pidge lay down at the top of the stairs from her sitting position.

‘Oh boy.’ Keith breathed before running up the steps two at a time, this time not even pausing before scooping her up in his arms.

Pidge snorted awake and looked at Keith from close up, fuzzy around the edges and jiggling with movement. ‘Heeeeeey, it’s dream Keith! Hey, dream Keith.’ She slung her arms around his shoulders and pulled herself closer to him. ‘Did you always smell this good? I don’t remember you smelling this good before in my dreams.’

‘I smell like I always smell.’ He smiled at her. ‘And that’s probably because I’m not a dream.’

‘Hallucination, right, right.’ She corrected herself. ‘So, what kinky shit are we going to do tonight, hallucinatory Keith?’

‘I’m not a hallucination either and…kinky shit?’ He gave her wide eyes of surprise as he realised she had been doing more than crushing on him.

‘Yeah, I know, I have to do all the work, but I close my eyes and there you are!’ She nuzzled into his neck. ‘Above me, under me…down on me…’

‘Okay! Let’s put that to one side for a while, alright?’ He spoke over her as she tried to add another position to her list.

‘Oh, gentleman Keith, this is new. Normally you just rail me. Okay, gentleman Keith. What’s first? Wanna go for alien burgers? I know this great little place,’ she leaned in to his ear and whispered overly loudly, ‘but there’s a tree outside with pink vomit behind it, don’t go there.’

‘You’re going to bed.’

‘There we go! Finally!’ She threw her arms in the air joyously. ‘Where are we going?’

‘My room, I know I have some water pouches in there.’ Keith tried not to be distracted but her lips trailing up his jaw made it hard…difficult! Definitely difficult. He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing enough that it caught her attention.

‘Oh, that’s hot, do it again.’ Her tongue lathed his skin as he reached his door, realising he had a problem trying to reach his key.

‘Can you stand for just a second?’ He didn’t give her time to argue and propped her against the wall, holding her in place with his side as he checked his back pockets first, passing the small plush lion between his pockets as he did so.

‘What did you lose?’ She watched his arms moving with absolute fascination.

‘The key to my room.’

Pidge didn’t even hesitate before putting both her hands in his front pockets and rather than feeling around she felt…him.

‘That’s not the key!’ Keith looked down at her as he grabbed at her wrists then swallowed again as she looked up at him over her glasses, grinning with her lip between her teeth. ‘Damn, when did you get so naughty?’ He carefully removed her hands before finding the key and letting them in. He couldn’t say he hadn’t ever fantasised about what she was doing but their first time wouldn’t be when she was impaired. Right now he needed her to sleep and sober up so they could talk, but he had had no idea she had thought of him like this. That alien alcohol had a lot to answer for.

It took some wrangling to get her into the room, and a little more to get her boots off. He sat her on the side of the bed as he did so, then stood to help her under the covers, which was when she wrapped her arms around his neck and dragged him down with her.

‘Bedtime!’ She grinned as he pushed up on one arm, looking down on her as she gave him the most innocent yet sexy gaze he had ever seen.

‘Sleep time.’ He managed to extricate himself from her arms and grab her a water pouch, making her sit up and drink some. ‘I want you to promise me something.’ He sat facing her as she greedily drank the pouch, nodding avidly. ‘That you’ll sleep and then we’ll talk when you’re feeling better.’

‘I feel pretty good now.’ She said around the pouch, dribbling somewhat.

He chuckled at her, sitting crosslegged with flushed tear stained cheeks. He wiped at the side of her mouth. ‘You need to do this with your wits about you, but I promise I will be here when you wake up.’

She lowered the water pouch and wrinkled her nose, looking down at her lap. ‘That’s what you always say.’ She whispered, but in the quiet of the room he heard her easily.

‘What do you mean?’ He took the pouch from her and put it on the table beside the bed.

‘I mean this is how it always goes.’ She sniffed, and he hoped she wasn’t going to resort to tears again. He hated seeing her like that. ‘You tell me you love me and that you’ll stay with me, and then in the morning you’re gone. You’re always gone.’

‘This time it’s different.’ He tucked her hair behind her ear before tilting her head to make her look at him. ‘I give you my word, as a Paladin of Voltron, as a Blade or Marmora, I will be here when you wake.’

‘Uh huh.’ She nodded slightly and he leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

‘Go to sleep, okay, Pidge?’ He held the covers out for her to settle down. He watched as she wiggled, smiling at the exaggerated movements she gave before covering her gently. ‘If you need anything, I’ll be right here.’

‘Right here?’ She asked, pointing hopefully beside her.

‘You take the bed, I’ll be fine in the chair.’ He indicated behind himself but she shook her head vehemently.

‘Can’t you just hug me til I’m asleep? Please?’

Her voice was so sweet he knew he had already lost, but he was determined not to encourage her in this state. ‘Alright, just give me a minute.’ He was aware of her watching him as he toed off his boots and lowered the lights, ensuring the bathroom door was open and easily accessible should she need it in a hurry, then placing the small plush lion on the table. He lay on top of the covers beside her and offered him his arm. She scooched up close to him almost immediately, wrapping an arm around his waist and sighing contentedly.

‘Thank you, Keith.’ She murmured before yawning widely.

‘Any time.’ He kissed her hair as he squeezed her gently, his other arm behind his head. ‘If you need anything, just shout.’

‘I only need you.’ She hummed. ‘I know we always end up hugging until I fall asleep in my dreams, but like this ending maybe more than the others.’

‘I kinda like it too.’ He admitted, resting his chin on her hair as he decided not to argue the dream part any more.

‘Before this all ends, I just want to say something.’ She yawned again.

‘I’m listening.’

She leaned her head to look at him and he moved to allow her to do so. ‘I love you. I’ve loved you for a stupidly long time but I know you’ll never see me as more than one of the team, and all I have is my imagination that one day this might be real. So, yeah. I appreciate this more than you’ll ever know.’

A lump formed in Keith’s throat as he realised how much she really did love him and how little faith she had that he would ever love her in return. ‘I love you too, Katie.’ He deliberately used her real name. ‘And I will when you wake up, and every day after. But let’s talk about this in the morning when your head is clear.’

‘You said that before too.’ She sighed as she snuggled down against him and closed her eyes. ‘Love you.’

‘Sleep well, Katie.’ He whispered as her breathing deepened, quickly falling asleep.

This evening hadn’t gone how he had planned. He wanted to give her his gift and ask her to join him for dinner. He had no idea she had wanted to ask him the same thing, or that she felt the same way. Instead, she had taken him shopping with Axca as a sign they were together and drank herself into a stupor. He pondered how it was strange how things worked out. How they had both felt the same but neither realised. If he believed in fate, and after all that had happened, all the coincidences in his life, he was sure something existed, this had to be the most memorable he could remember.

Pidge woke with a pounding head and a fuzzy tongue. She managed to crawl out of bed and over the muss of crumpled blankets and into the bathroom without having to open her eyes more than to gauge where the door was and kicked it closed behind her. She went about her business, splashed water on her face, and briefly examined her face, pale skin and sunken, bloodshot eyes. Never again, she decided. It just wasn’t worth drinking this much, no matter how upset she might have been at seeing the man she loved with someone else. She paused long enough to smile for herself about how last night she had dreamt he told her he loved her back, that it wasn’t a dream and that he would be there for her in the morning. It had felt so real that maybe it was worth the hangover after all. Sighing, she decided to spend the rest of the day in bed sleeping things off. She wasn’t needed for anything and honestly, right now, the oblivion sleep offered sounded amazing.

Staggering out of the bathroom she scrunched up her eyes against how gritty they felt. How could they itch and burn at the same time? If she could bear the sunlight she would have gone back to the castleship and shut herself in a healing tube, but for now some water and bed sounded good. She took two steps to the table by the bed and took up the water pouch, draining what was left before putting it back…and knocking something onto the floor. She crouched and picked it up, squinting in the darkness at the small, round, fuzzy plushie that looked just like her lion while trying to remember when she had bought it. It took a moment before parts of the night before came rushing back, including right before she slept. But, that was a dream, right? Right?!

One look at the bed convinced her it wasn’t. Or rather who was on the bed.

The resulting scream of absolute shock was, she would recall later, perhaps the girliest thing she had ever done in her entire life.

Tada! Give me some feedback! I might even be able to continue this into a morning after fic, if anyone is interested!

#kidge fanfic #kidge #kidgetrash #kidgetrash fanfic #voltron #drunk pidge #drunk confessions

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