#I hope their friendship continues to be like this even when the series ends | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

drabblesandsnippets · 7 months ago

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Sunshine - Part 2

Hot Bucky Summer 2024 - Week 6

Pairing: Roommate!Bucky x Plus-size female character (nickname is Sunshine)

Prompt: “I won’t be able to stop myself.” | [Sex Pollen | Gone Feral | Fuck or Die] @buckybarnesevents

Summary: (5k) Series Masterlist After a night out with Bucky’s friends, things will never be the same.

Warnings: 18+ Only. Slow burn. Grumpy/Sunshine trope. Happy Bucky (is that a warning?) - he's a photographer in this AU. Mention of insecurities and anxiety (she's a bit of a mess, okay?). Use of weed. Use of alcohol. Questionable drunk thoughts & decisions. Masturbation.

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Bucky can’t stop.

Whether he’s awake or asleep, she’s there, occupying his thoughts.

When he’s out with his friends, he imagines her there, getting to see her laugh and have a good time.

When he’s working, he thinks about what it’d be like to take her picture. To pose her. To touch her. To boost her confidence.

And when he’s asleep, he dreams of her, waking up harder than he’s ever been in his entire life.

It won’t stop, no matter what he does.

It’s even gotten to the point where Bucky’s considered telling her to start looking for another roommate, to offer to help her find someone. But, she’ll ask why, and he can’t lie to her.

He’d have to tell her that he can’t stop thinking about her. That he can’t stop fantasizing about her. That he can’t stop picturing himself sneaking into the bathroom late at night to listen through the thin wall, hoping to catch the sounds she makes when she touches herself.

His confession would not only make her uncomfortable, but she’d never forgive him, and rightfully so. He’d just be another person in her life that ended up hurting her. So he selfishly does nothing, other than continue to allow himself to indulge in the fantasies, keeping it strictly to when she’s not home, or after she’s already gone to her room.

When they are together, he forces himself to keep his thoughts strictly PG-13, never risking giving her a reason to think he wants more than a friendship. Bucky doesn’t know as much about her as he’d like, but her avoidance of physical touch and vague answers about past relationships gives him no reason to think she’d even be interested. It’s just not worth the risk.

All he can hope is that eventually his feelings will fade, and until then he’ll continue on as normal. Inviting her out, hoping she says yes, while secretly starting to feel grateful that he’s been able to keep the two parts of his life separate. It’s been easier that way.

And then Steve opens his big fucking mouth.

He wasn’t even supposed to be here for at least another hour, but here he stands in their kitchen, drinking one of Bucky’s beers, laughing at something Sunshine’s saying. Trying to get her to change her mind after Bucky extended the invitation.

Of all the times for his friend to get involved, it has to be on the night they’re heading to a bar to check out some live music. A crowd of noisy drunk people is so far out of her comfort zone that Bucky can't help but jump to her rescue, telling her, “It’s okay. Maybe another night.”

For some reason that Bucky hasn't figured out yet, Steve won’t let it go, interjecting before Sunshine can respond. “It won’t be too crazy, I promise.” With a friendly smile and a lift of his beer, he adds, “And if it ends up not being your thing, any one of us will be happy to bring you home.”

It’s ridiculous to think that Steve is flirting with her, but the thought still crosses Bucky’s mind and it has his irritation growing, the sneaking feeling of jealousy threatening to build inside him. Resisting the urge to snap at his friend to be quiet, he keeps his attention on Sunshine, telling her, “You’re more than welcome to join us, but please don’t feel obligated because of this one.”

Her eyes bounce between the two men as she shifts uncomfortably and her cheeks flush, but she’s quick to shake her head. “It sounds like it could be fun… I’m just… um.” The anxiety building in her is palpable, causing Bucky’s concern to grow and his irritation at Steve to reach new levels. This is all his fault. Just as he opens his mouth to assure her, again, that there would be no hard feelings, she mumbles, “I’m not sure what to wear.”

The shy, awkward words cause Bucky’s chest to tighten and if he wasn’t worried about making this whole thing worse, he’d tell her exactly what he’s thinking. That it doesn’t matter what she wears because she always looks good. She could go dressed exactly as she is now - sweatpants and a worn t-shirt - and she’d still have his attention the whole night.

And then Steve beats him to it, the smile on his face conveying nothing but friendliness, but the words still get under Bucky’s skin. “You’ll look good no matter what you wear.”

Bucky wants to be the cause of the blush that spreads across Sunshine’s skin. He wants to be the reason she rolls her eyes and laughs at the compliment. And if it were him saying it, he’d make sure she believed it too. He wouldn’t let her leave this kitchen without knowing, without a doubt, that she’s always beautiful.

That's not an option though. He has to watch her dismissively shake her head as she takes her leave, and the moment she’s out of earshot, the tension in Bucky’s shoulders grows. With a hard glare aimed at his best friend, Bucky asks, “What the fuck was that about?” There’s not much that can rattle him these days, but if there’s anyone that knows how to push his buttons, it’s Steve.

Steve continues with the innocent act for a beat longer, making a show of taking a long, slow sip from his beer before he finally asks, “What? I can’t be nice to your roommate?” He’s immune to the subtle warning twitch of Bucky’s jaw, having spent years perfecting just how far he can take things without pissing Bucky off too much.

When it comes to Sunshine though, his fuse is much shorter, and whatever game Steve’s playing, Bucky needs it to end now.

“Enough.” Bucky pushes himself off the counter he’s been leaning on, forcing himself to head towards the fridge instead of getting in Steve’s face. “Leave her alone.” Even as he says it, Bucky knows this isn’t really about her. His best friend never does anything just to piss him off. There’s always a reason behind his provoking, usually one Bucky doesn’t like.

“She said she wanted to come. You want her to come. So, what’s the issue?” And there it is. Steve’s agenda. Involving himself in things that don’t concern him. Trying to goad Bucky into a conversation that he doesn’t want to have. One that he’s been skirting around for weeks.

Refusing to take the bait, Bucky rolls his eyes and ducks his head into the fridge to grab a beer. He’s tired of his friends using the excuse that they’re ‘looking out for him’ when they try to insert themselves into his love life (or lack thereof). He’s not putting up with it tonight.

“You had your fun,” Bucky tells him, keeping his tone even as he twists the cap off the cold bottle in his hand, making it clear he’s reached his limit. “You got your wish. No more games. Leave it alone.”

The only goal is to make sure Sunshine has a good time tonight.

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She doesn’t know what she’s doing.

One minute she’s making a ‘joke’ about celebrating her recent promotion with a night filled with weed, games, and social media, and the next she’s agreeing to go out to a bar with them.

She rarely goes out, and when she does it’s not to a crowded bar. It’s been a long time since she's even felt the desire, a brief stint in her early 20s spent anywhere but home having convinced her it wasn’t for her. A part of her life she barely remembers and one she definitely doesn’t want to revisit.

Shaking the flash of memories from her head, she lifts her hand to wipe the light sweat covering her upper lip and keeps digging through her closet, searching for whatever will feel the most comfortable. Pajamas. At home. Alone. (Or maybe just with Bucky).

She rolls her eyes at the thought and narrows her selections down to a few shirts, a couple of which she hasn’t worn in months, and the one pair of jeans that doesn’t dig into her stomach every time she sits down. Despite Steve’s friendly encouragement, she’s nervous, studying her reflection in the mirror as she tries on each shirt, growing sweatier with each change.

None of them feel right. They’re either too tight, too big, or show off too much cleavage. This is her first time hanging out with Bucky’s friends and she doesn’t want to choose the wrong thing. She wants to blend in, draw the least amount of attention.

Several outfit changes later, she’s in a simple v-neck t-shirt, brushing her hair out of her reddened face, pulling the damp strands into a quick bun. The desire to wear her hair down was quickly overruled by her desire to not overheat and look like a mess tonight.

It takes her a few minutes of sitting on her bed to cool off, trying her best not to look like she just ran a marathon, but as nervous and anxious as she is about tonight, she’s also excited. This has been a long time coming, and the edible she took a little while ago should help before they even get to the bar.

At least she’s stopped having inappropriate thoughts about Bucky. Well, for the most part anyway. She’ll still occasionally think about accidentally overhearing him in the shower, and she tries not to think about the really intense dream she had about him not that long ago, but it’s not everyday anymore so it’s easy to pretend it doesn’t exist.

And, hopefully, getting to see Bucky in his element tonight will put all this to rest. With any luck, she’ll get to watch him flirt with random women and finally learn what his type is. She assumes it’s the complete opposite of her. Someone bubbly and positive. Someone perky. Thin. Pretty.

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Sunshine’s not wearing anything Bucky hasn’t seen her in before, but he swears there’s something different. Maybe it’s the passing streetlights illuminating her beauty, or the smile that’s been on her face since they got in their shared ride, or maybe it’s the light breeze coming in through the cracked car window, the wind blowing wisps of hair along her temples.

Whatever it is, he’s having a hard time keeping his eyes off her, and an even harder time not letting his thoughts stray. The only saving grace is that Steve’s keeping her preoccupied from the front passenger seat, giving her all the gossip about their friends. How they all met. What everyone does for a living. The kind of shit they get up to when they hang out.

“One of these days, ya gotta get Buck to tell you about the time he convinced us to break into a private club to go swimming.”

Bucky doesn’t miss the way Sunshine’s eyes widen and her mouth opens in surprise, but he holds up his finger to correct Steve first. “Technically, it was ‘trespassing’ since I already had the key, and we wouldn’t have gotten caught if you hadn’t tripped the alarm on the way out. I told you exactly-.”

Steve is the first to interrupt him with a bark of a laugh, but before his best friend can start listing the useless defenses he has about that night, Sunshine speaks up, drawing both of their attention. “I’m sorry. You wanted to break into a private club?”

Bucky’s reminder of ‘trespass’ earns him a glare that he takes in stride, laughing it off. “I worked there. I was allowed to use the pool. Whether or not I was allowed to bring guests was a gray area.”

Steve jumps in to finish, telling her, “It was not a gray area. We almost got arrested.”

“We did not,” Bucky laughs, rolling his eyes at his best friend before turning his attention back to the woman that’s been driving him crazy. The look of slight amusement and bewilderment she’s giving has him clenching his hands in his lap, rubbing them along his jeans, wanting nothing more than to reach out and caress her cheek. To tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. Not letting a second of silence fill the air, he explains, “There was no risk of getting arrested. I did get fired though.”

The nonchalant shrug Bucky gives her only adds to her state of confusion, and he can’t help but think how cute she looks, with her slightly furrowed brow and the crinkle along the bridge of her nose. Hiding the grin growing on his face, he glances out the window, taking note of how close they are to their destination.

Probably thinking he’s doing him a favor, Steve’s more than happy to keep the conversation going, telling Sunshine, “Don’t let his sunny disposition fool you.” The subtle warning look that Bucky shoots him, a silent reminder of their earlier conversation, has Steve quickly adding, “He’s the greatest guy I’ve ever known, don’t get me wrong, but he’s about as innocent as -.”

“Nope,” Bucky interrupts him with a loud laugh, reaching forward to grab Steve’s shoulder, refusing to let him finish that thought. Steve laughs with him, but keeps his promise, letting the subject drop, turning back around in his seat for the last remaining seconds of their trip, much to the happiness of their driver.

This is the first time Sunshine’s learning there’s more to him than meets the eye, and as she grows quiet, Bucky can only imagine what she’s thinking. Until now, she’s been limited to witnessing the sweet, happy, enthusiastic side of him, leaving her with the assumption that he’s a Boy Scout - a goody two-shoes.

He’s far from it, and as much apprehension as he has about how she'll react to getting know this side of him, there's also a jolt of excitement that he can't ignore. Maybe this will make their friendship even better.

-------------------

This is what she wanted. To get to know Bucky better, to see what he’s like out in the world, with his friends, with other people. But, she feels caught off guard. Like, none of her conversations with Bucky, or the interactions she’s witnessed between him and his friends prepared her for this.

The whole time that he’s been trying to get her to come out of her shell, he’s been hiding parts of himself. He’s been careful with her, never crossing a line, probably choosing his words carefully. There’s no doubt that Bucky’s been doing it for her benefit, but now it all feels like a lie. Like he hasn’t been able to be himself with her, and it hurts her feelings.

Whatever foolish expectations she had for the evening have flown out the window, and she’s more than grateful when the car pulls to a stop, the three of them spilling out onto the busy sidewalk. Fighting the urge to get right back in the car to take herself home, she follows the men into the bar, doing her best to avoid Bucky’s gaze.

He’s probably worried about her. Probably thinking she’s in over her head, that she’s realizing she made a mistake coming tonight. He’s probably thinking I told you so. That she’s not cut out for this - the bar, his friends, him.

The racing thoughts leave her just as quickly as they come, Steve getting her attention as he takes the lead to wind them through the crowd, Bucky in step right next to her. “I’m glad you decided to come tonight.” When all she manages is a slightly-forced smile that doesn’t quite meet her eyes, Steve adds, “After everything Bucky’s told us about you, we’ve been looking forward to this.”

She steals a quick glance at Bucky, not at all surprised to find him already looking at her. He’s been watching her since she agreed to come tonight, like it’s his job to make sure she doesn’t get overwhelmed, like he’s expecting her to have a nervous breakdown at any moment. The smile he gives her only seems to prove her point, and it doesn’t help when all he innocently asks is, “What? You don’t talk to your friends about me?”

Of course she does, but it does nothing to quiet her concerns about what he’s told his friends about her. Are they expecting her to be an anxious mess? That she’s going to suddenly bolt in the middle of a conversation? What exactly-. She’s interrupted by Steve again, who’s looking at his phone.

“Buck, Nat found a table, and Yelena already disappeared.” He says it with a laugh, as if it’s a normal occurrence, not waiting for a response from Bucky before he says, “Why don’t you go help her keep our spot. We’ll get the drinks.”

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Bucky open his mouth, and they all know what’s about to come out. The offer to switch places, have Steve go sit at the table while she and Bucky get the drinks. And for a split second, she wants him to. It would be so much easier.

But, how is she supposed to prove that she can handle this? That she’s perfectly capable of having a good time if she can’t even be alone with Bucky’s best friend for a few minutes? Both her and Steve answer at the same time - Steve telling him that they can manage a few drink orders, while she says it’s a good idea.

Obviously seeing that this isn’t a fight he’s going to win, and not wanting to risk losing their table, Bucky takes his leave, but not without giving them both one last look. At some point tonight, she and Bucky are going to have to hash this out, but not until she’s had a few drinks.

Keeping close to Steve, she follows him the rest of the way to the bar, not missing how he occasionally glances back to make sure she’s still there. She might feel like she doesn’t know Bucky as well as she thought, but there’s not a doubt in her mind that she’s safe with his friends. She has no reason to be worried about being alone with any one of them.

Well, other than for the fact that she has no idea what Bucky’s told them, or how they're going to treat her tonight. Maybe that’s why Steve wanted a minute alone with her. To tell her all the ways they’re going to help her, to make sure she doesn’t freak out or get overwhelmed. It wouldn’t be the first time a stranger’s given her unsolicited advice.

As if reading her mind, Steve sets her at ease, casually telling her, “He’s had nothing but great things to say about you.” With a raise of his arm, he gets the attention of the bartender to place their orders before turning his gaze back to her, the smile never leaving his face. His hand is still raised between them and he starts ticking things off on his fingers, recounting, “You’re the best roommate. You have great taste in music. And books. And movies.” With four of his digits raised, he lifts his thumb to add, “You’re hilarious. Should I keep going?”

She quickly shakes her head, a laugh bubbling out of her as her skin grows warm. These are all things Bucky’s told her, it’s just strange to hear them from his best friend, who she barely knows. With the effects of the edible having started to kick in a couple minutes ago, she feels comfortable enough to joke, “Is this the part where I’m supposed to list all the great things about Bucky?”

“God no,” Steve immediately tells her with a playful roll of his eyes and a grin that she’s sure has gotten him out of many a things in life. “I have to hear how great that man is all the time. I’d rather drink.” There’s no malice in his tone, no hint of resentment or frustration - this is just their relationship. They love each other and they give each other shit. Like brothers. Like family.

Ignoring the ache in her chest at the thought of family, she lets Steve talk her into doing a couple of the shots lined up on the bar for them. Not that it takes much convincing. There were never any plans to get through tonight even remotely sober.

-------------------

They all know. All of Bucky’s friends know that he has feelings for her, but they think it’s just a crush, like he’s in fucking high school. They have no idea that he can’t stop thinking about her, that it’s bordering on obsession. Not even Steve knows the extent of it.

And tonight, they’re all too drunk to notice he’s been watching her, not out of concern for her mental well-being, but because she’s mesmerizing. Because Sunshine’s doing exactly what he’s been dreaming about for weeks - laughing and dancing and looking like she belongs right here. With his friends. With him.

The alcohol flowing through him makes it difficult to focus, and before he realizes it, Sunshine catches him in the act. Her attention had just been bouncing between joking with Nat and Sam, and watching the band currently playing, the music keeping most of the patrons on their feet. And now she’s staring right at him, as if she can read his mind.

For a moment, he actually believes it, her brow slightly furrowing as she makes her way around the side of the table, reaching out to steady herself along the back of a chair.

He has to fight the urge to help her, keeping his hands around his half-empty glass, the condensation wetting his fingers. After all the months of living together, all the conversations and late night Netflix marathons, he’s never touched her and now it’s all he can think about. It's the only thing on his mind, and she must be able to tell, because the look she’s giving him is telling him that he definitely fucked up.

Just as he opens his mouth to apologize, she asks, “Can we go outside?”

The only response he can muster is a quick nod of his head, and he silently follows her, his thoughts racing with what to tell her. How to explain himself. How to assure her that he’d never cross any lines.

By the time they’re outside, the light breeze cooling their warm skin, he still doesn’t know where to start. He doesn’t know how to fix this. All he can do is watch her, almost losing focus at her flushed skin and glassy eyes. Even drunk and stoned, she’s the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

“Are we friends?” The question blindsides him. Makes him stand there, stunned, confused, and silent. Trying to work out why she’s asking that, of all the things she could be asking right now. With a slight slur to her words, she continues, telling him, “I like dirty jokes and inappropriate humor. I like teasing my friends and giving them shit about stupid stuff. I’m not great at rule-breaking, but I wouldn’t lecture you about it.”

The hurt in her eyes betray the joking tone she’s keeping, clearly trying to make light of a situation that’s been bothering her all night - since she learned that he’s not the wholesome, straight-laced guy she assumed him to be.

So he did fuck up, just not in the way he thought.

“I never thought you would lecture me,” he promises her, keeping the shaking of his head to a minimum, his eyes quickly losing focus. He blinks the blurriness away and gives her a warm smile, shoving his hands in his pockets to resist the urge to comfort her with his touch. “I just never wanted to put you in a situation where you were uncomfortable, Sunshine. Especially in your own home.”

The quick peak of her tongue wetting her lips has his cock stirring in his jeans, and it takes all his self control not to keep his gaze on her mouth. To ignore the flash of need to kiss her, to feel her lips on his, to taste her. He’s so busy trying to pretend he’s listening to her that he just barely catches what she's saying.

“I'm more uncomfortable with your early morning singing and never-ending enthusiasm than I’d ever be with a dirty joke.”

Her response catches him off guard, and all he can do is laugh. All this time, he's been working so hard to reign in the parts of himself that might bother her, or make things awkward, and it was the complete opposite of what he should have been doing.

-------------------

She likes making him laugh. The crinkle of his eyes. The flash of his teeth. The slight shake of his head that has him lifting his hand to run it through his hair. She wants to feel it, to run her fingers through the soft strands. It’s the perfect length to grab hold of while-.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he says, laughter still pouring out of him. For the briefest of moments, she thinks she said it outloud, but quickly realizes what he means.

After tonight, things will be different between them, like they’ve given each other permission to really be themselves. And as they return to the rest of the group, she can’t stop thinking what it’s going to be like from now on. The kind of jokes he’ll make. The off-hand comments she won’t keep holding back. The teasing they’ll get up to.

All the inappropriate thoughts she’s been ignoring return ten-fold and she wonders if he’s a tease in bed. If he likes to drive his partner crazy. If he likes to be in control.

By the time the night is over, and they’re sharing a ride back home, she can’t stop stealing glances at him. Her eyes drifting to his mouth, wondering how he kisses. His five-o’clock shadow and what it would feel like between her thighs. His strong hands on her body.

That’s how she ends up in her bedroom, after a quick trip to the bathroom and a brief goodnight to Bucky - wishing like hell they had hugged, wanting the intoxicating smell of him to linger on her clothes and skin - she’s under her covers, naked and writhing at the touch of her own hand, her fingers teasing her nipples, the hand between her thighs ghosting over her swollen clit.

It’s easy to convince herself that because she has no idea what he’s really like in bed, this doesn’t count. This is just a fantasy that could be about anyone. Bucky’s just filling that role. He’s just a face for her to picture while she buries her fingers inside her dripping pussy, the palm of her hand pressed hard against her clit.

It gets harder to pretend as the pleasure builds and the fantasy becomes more intense, picturing him between her spread thighs, fucking her hard and fast, his growl of dirty words filling her head. And soon, she’s fantasizing about him hearing her - how he’d burst in and join her, bury his head between her thighs and fuck her with his tongue.

She’s not drunk enough to allow herself more than a couple seconds of unabashed noises, as if she’s really trying to tempt him, before she’s reigning it back. It’d never happen, but at least she has tonight. At least, for right now, she can pretend it’s him making her come, her hand quickly coming up to cover her mouth so she doesn’t scream his name.

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He shouldn’t be doing this. Bucky knows he shouldn’t be doing this, but he can’t stop himself. He blames it on the alcohol skewing his sense of integrity, but it’s a lie. He knows what he’s doing is wrong, and yet he stands here, barely breathing, his ear pressed to the thin wall that separates the bathroom from her bedroom.

Refusing to give in to the temptation to touch himself, he keeps his sweaty hands on the wall, his fingers tensing and flexing against the hard surface. He’s not sure he’ll be able to forgive himself for eavesdropping like this, but touching himself at the same time would be a step too far. The guilt would eat away at him until he was forced to move out without warning.

Bucky doesn’t know how long he stands there, his heart racing and his eyes closed, all his focus trained on what’s happening in her bedroom, until he finally starts to hear her. The barely audible gasps, the muffled moans, the occasional cut-off cry that has his cock straining against his jeans.

It’s better than anything he could’ve imagined and as wrong as this is, he can’t stop. Visions of what she’s doing plays through his mind, the possibilities of how she touches herself, what she’s fantasizing about, what’s causing the incredible noises spilling out of her.

And then the obvious signs of her getting closer suddenly has him sobering up. She’s drunk. Neither of them are in the right state of mind, and no matter how much he wants to stay right here to listen to her come, he hasn’t earned that right. He’ll never earn that right.

It still doesn’t stop him from ending the night the same way he’s ended every night for the past several weeks. This time, though, as he slowly strokes his cock, he doesn’t have to imagine what she sounds like. It’s all right there in his head, playing on a loop, working him quickly towards an intense orgasm, the sound of her name muffled as he covers his mouth with the palm of his hand.

There’s no doubt that he’ll regret this tomorrow, but as his cock stays hard in his grip, he can’t seem to care. It feels too good to stop, and it’s not long before he’s stroking himself again, his body aching for her touch. He’ll never have it, but that doesn’t mean he can’t live in this fantasy for just a few moments.

And if he’s lucky, he’ll forget all about this by the time morning comes.

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airybcby · 15 days ago

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જ⁀♡⊹｡° always known that I would win this game

♡ a/n — for my childhood best friends to lovers series! ( listen to what i wrote to here ! )

♡ word count — 1.7k

♡ content — nagi seishiro x fem! reader, fem! reader, i leaned heavily into nagi thinking everything is a pain, very lazy nagi, probably ooc nagi, lowkey one-sided relationship, she falls first AND harder, reo mentioned a lot, lowkey reo keeps the relationship afloat, goes from when nagi and reader are 3 all the way to the U-20 game

♡ synopsis — Nagi Seishiro was like fireworks—beautiful, brilliant, and untouchable. You just hoped you wouldn't get burned trying to love him.

The first time you met Nagi Seishiro, you were three years old, barely old enough to form sentences, but already filled with boundless energy. Your mother brought you along to a playdate with her coworker’s son, claiming the two of you might get along since you were close in age.

You didn’t know what “getting along” was supposed to look like, but when you saw Nagi for the first time—white hair sticking out in every direction, holding onto his mother’s leg like she was a lifeline—you decided that getting along meant trying to make him play.

You, a bundle of chaotic energy, bounded up to him with sticky hands from the lollipop you’d just devoured, grinning wide.

“Hi!” you chirped, bouncing on the balls of your feet. “Wanna play with blocks?”

He stared at you like you were speaking a foreign language. For a moment, you thought maybe he didn’t know how to play. Or maybe he was shy.

“It’s a pain,” he mumbled, turning his head away from you.

You puffed up your cheeks, determined not to let him brush you off. “It’s fun! Come on, I’ll show you!”

Nagi sighed heavily—so heavily it made him sound much older than three years old—and shuffled behind you with a sluggishness that would come to define him.

Despite that, your mothers encouraged your budding friendship. Nagi, who found most things exhausting even as a child, didn’t like you at first. You talked too much, moved too much, asked too many questions—everything about you was “too much” for him. But for reasons he couldn’t explain, he tolerated you, enduring your antics when your families gathered for dinner.

He rarely smiled when you played with him, but he never told you to leave him alone either.

That was the start of everything.

By the time the two of you started kindergarten, you considered Nagi your best friend. He might not have agreed at first, but that didn’t matter to you.

You quickly made friends while Nagi sat alone at a desk, chin propped in his hand, waiting for the day to end. But then you came over, plopped yourself into the seat next to him.

“This is Nagi! He’s my bestest best friend!” you declared to the new friends you’d made during morning playtime.

Nagi blinked at you, startled, but didn’t protest. From that day on, Nagi Seishiro was stuck with you.

Middle school was a whirlwind of new experiences—at least for you.

Art club, yearbook, swimming team, gardening—you tried everything you could get your hands on. Nagi, on the other hand, never joined a single club. Instead, he discovered video games.

“Why don’t you try new things like me?” you asked one afternoon as the two of you walked home together. A club flyer fluttered in your hands while Nagi’s eyes stayed glued to the screen of his phone.

“Too much energy,” he replied simply.

“But it’s fun!” you said, exasperated. "Like this one! I'm going to join the chess club!" you smiled, holding up the chess club flyer you'd grabbed.

Nagi glanced at you from the corner of his eye. “Do you even know how to play chess?”

You hesitated. “...No, but I can learn!”

“Why waste the time? You’ll drop it anyway.”

You stopped walking, the words sinking into your chest like a tiny thorn. He continued ahead without noticing, too focused on his game.

You jogged to catch up, huffing. “Because I like trying. That’s the point," you sighed. "And it's fun!"

That was your reason for everything.

High school arrived, and true to form, you didn’t stick with any clubs. By then, Nagi had moved out of his parents’ house into his own apartment. It was strange, not having him just a block away anymore.

You hated the distance but tried not to complain—he still came over whenever you asked, still lounged on your bed like it was his own.

One evening, as he sat on your bed, phone in hand, you shoved another bag of discarded club items into your closet. “At least I tried!” you exclaimed, crossing your arms as you glanced at him.

“Yeah, yeah.” He didn’t even look up from his game.

You rolled your eyes. “Sei, do you always have to be playing something? You even do it in class!”

“Listening to the teacher is tiring…”

“Why don’t you do something at school? Like join a club?”

He shrugged. “What’s the point? It’s a pain.”

“You’ll regret it when you’re older. What are you going to tell your kids? That you were lazy?”

“Our kids,” he mumbled.

“Huh?”

Nagi didn’t even flinch, eyes still focused on his screen. “I’ve only ever thought about having kids with you.”

Your heart stuttered in your chest. “Nagi Seishiro! You can’t just… say stuff like that!”

“Huh? But I like you.” He finally glanced up, tilting his head.

You sputtered, feeling your face burn. “I— You don’t—you can’t just—!”

“Don’t worry,” he interrupted lazily. “If it’s too much work, you don’t have to like me back.”

“I love you!” you blurted, before immediately slapping a hand over your mouth. “Wait! I didn’t mean—I mean, I did, but—”

Nagi sighed, locking his phone and rolling over on your bed like he’d just finished a long shift. “Mhm. Good.”

Good? Good?!

Your heart felt like it was about to combust, but Nagi had already closed his eyes as if you hadn’t just confessed your feelings, clearly deciding the conversation was over.

Dating Nagi wasn’t what you’d imagined. In the beginning, it was wonderful—texting late into the night, stolen kisses in quiet hallways—but slowly, things began to change. He stopped meeting you for lunch, stopped walking home with you. He even stopped inviting you over.

It wasn’t until you dropped by his apartment unexpectedly one afternoon to return a borrowed game that you realized why. A purple-haired boy opened the door.

“Oh! Sorry, I must have the wrong place,” you said awkwardly.

“Wait! If you’re looking for Nagi, he’s here,” the boy replied. “I’m Reo, by the way.”

You blinked. Reo? A friend? You hadn’t known Nagi had made one. Your heart ached at the realization that this stranger was closer to Nagi than you were.

Reo led you inside, where Nagi sat on the couch, engrossed in his phone.

“Reo? Who was it?”

“Your girlfriend,” Reo replied, smirking. Girlfriend. The word felt foreign. Nagi rarely called you that.

Nagi glanced up, his expression unreadable. “Did you need something?”

You held up the game case. “Just returning this. I liked it, thanks for letting me borrow it.”

“Really? Didn’t think you’d like it,” he said, leaning forward to press a quick kiss to your lips.

“Sei! Someone’s here!” you whispered, flustered as you looked towards Reo.

“It’s just Reo. He doesn’t care,” Nagi replied as he leaned in to give you another kiss. Reo chuckled, ignoring the two of you for his own phone “You should come watch us play soccer next week. We’ve got a game.”

“Soccer?” you echoed.

“Yeah. Didn’t he tell you? He’s been playing for weeks.”

You looked at Nagi in disbelief. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Forgot,” he mumbled.

"Don't worry," You smiled, running a hand through Nagi's hair. "I'll be there."

Of course you'd be there for Nagi, you always were.

When Nagi received his Blue Lock invitation, he didn’t tell you. You only found out when Reo mentioned it during one of your visits.

“Leaving in a week,” Reo said casually, handing Nagi a bus ticket.

“Huh? Where are you going?” You asked. Was the soccer team having a team trip? Were they going to have a boys day? Did boys even have boys days?

“Blue Lock,” Nagi replied as if it explained everything.

Reo took pity on your confusion, explaining the program and its purpose. “It’s a big deal for soccer players,” he said with pride.

You turned to Nagi. “That's awesome Sei! Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Forgot.”

For the first time in your relationship - your entire friendship - , the weight of those words felt unbearable.

When Nagi left for Blue Lock, all you got was a text.

‘Leaving now, see you l8r. :x’

You stared at your phone, the message making your heart drop. That was it? He hadn’t even called to say goodbye.

Still, you smiled to yourself as you typed your reply. This was Nagi, your 'Sei' , of course a phone call would drain him of energy.

‘I love you! Please be safe and take care of yourself. Text me when you’re there if you can?’

The response was instant.

‘Sure. Love you.’

Even so, as the days passed, his absence settled heavily on you.

When Nagi entered Blue Lock, safe to say, he forgot to text you back. He’d gotten his phone back pretty quickly, and with Reo around, he had someone to talk to.

You simply slipped his mind.

It wasn’t until Reo asked about you one day during a meal that your name came back up.

“How’s your girlfriend doing?” Reo asked as he reached for his drink.

Nagi paused mid-bite. “Dunno. I haven’t asked.”

Reo stared at him incredulously. “You haven’t asked? What do you mean you haven’t asked?”

“Who are you guys talking about?” Zantetsu asked, peering at them like they were some exotic birds.

“Nagi’s girlfriend. Who he needs to text, by the way,” Reo said sharply. “She’s probably worried about you.”

Nagi sighed, pulling out his phone. “I will.”

He texted you a simple message: ‘Safe. Just got my phone back.’ A small lie, but that was okay.

Your reply came almost immediately: ‘Thank goodness! I was so worried about you, but of course you’re okay. Have fun and text me whenever you can. I love you!’

He stared at your message for a moment, then replied: ‘Love you. Will do.’

“There. I texted her,” he said, glancing at Reo, who was shaking his head in exasperation.

Months passed with sporadic texts and one-sided conversations. You watched Nagi play in the U-20 match, awestruck by his skill.

He was like fireworks—beautiful, brilliant, and untouchable. After the game, you waited on the field, hoping to catch a moment with him.

When Nagi appeared, he was with Reo, laughing about something. He didn’t notice you until Reo nudged him.

“Your girlfriend’s here,” Reo said softly.

Nagi turned, his expression unreadable. “Hey.”

“Hey,” you said, forcing a smile.

“I didn’t think you’d come.”

“Of course I did.”

Nagi stared at you for a moment before stepping closer, his hand brushing yours. “Thanks.”

You stood there, watching him. He was here, yet he felt so far away. You didn’t know what hurt more—the thought of losing him, or the thought that maybe, just maybe, he was already gone.

idk if i liked this one but i wrote it at 3AM so we all have to suffer

likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!

#★ · airybcbyy #airy posts #bllk #blue lock #bllk x reader #blue lock x reader #nagi x reader #nagi seishiro #seishiro nagi #bllk nagi #bllk nagi seishiro #blue lock nagi #blue lock nagi seishiro

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spenceragnewfics · 8 months ago

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omg hi hi super excited to read your stuff!! Could I request a fluffy Spencer fic where reader also works at smosh and they’re tiptoeing around their relationship because they don’t want viewers/coworkers to know!! <33

I really hope you enjoy this. I didn't really know how I wanted to do this so I hope this is good. Enjoy!!

THE PA & THE DIRECTOR | Spencer Agnew x Reader

TW: none that I know of

Word Count: 1.2k

Description: Starting as an intern, Y/N forms a close relationship with Spencer which turns into a very loving but secret relationship. That is until the three newest cast members and a returning owner finds evidence to prove otherwise.

In the summer of 2021, Y/N had gotten an internship with Smosh. They were hired on as an intern for the office in their senior year of college. During the summer, they had many friendships and connections made with people all over the office, the best one being with the games crew and Spencer in particular.

When the summer ended, Ian offered them a job for after they graduate. They would be a PA for the gaming channel and Y/N accepted immediately, they loved their summer working for the company and the people so why wouldn’t they accept the job?

Y/N graduated in the spring of 2022 and moved to LA to start their career at Smosh. They thrived with helping on the gaming channel and even were allowed to help edit some videos, with Spencer’s supervision for the first few.

The two of them continued to get closer and closer with all the late nights they spent together working and they had even more when Spencer was made the director of Smosh Games. It was the best for the both of them because Y/N had an amazing boss and Spencer had a reliable hand to help when needed.

One night, the two were at Spencer’s apartment hanging out and brainstorming gaming video ideas. They had pizza and drinks to help fuel the brainstorming and help keep them awake.

“Okay, what if we do a d&d like game? We get some of the cast that are interested and make a little series off of it.” Y/N suggest as they take a bite of pizza. “That sounds cool, we could try that and see how fans react. I think Damien and Shayne are a forsure yes for that.” Spencer says as he writes down the idea.

“Obviously, I think you could be in it as well.” He looks at them shocked as they smile, “Really? You think the fans could take seeing me that long?” He jokes and Y/N rolls their eyes. “Of course they can, don’t you see all the comments of the fans begging for more Spencer content?” He shrugs and looks at the person across from him.

They notice his eyes and look at him as well, “What’s up, Spence?” He shrugs, “Nothing, just looking at you.” This makes them confused, “Why, is there something on my face?”

“Yeah, actually hang on, let me just.” He leans over and moves his thumb to wipe something off their face but pulls them in and kisses them. The action takes Y/N by surprise but they kiss him back, letting the feelings they had been feeling for a while finally come out.

Spencer is the one to break the kiss. He looks at Y/N with nervous eyes, “If you wanted to kiss me, Spence, all you had to do was ask.” He chuckles and leans back in to kiss them.

The night changed everything and started a very loving relationship between the two. Originally, they had planned to keep it a secret until they were sure this would be something that lasted a while and wasn’t just a fling.

Well, that was almost two years ago and they just haven’t told anyone. Not their co-workers and not the fans. It hasn’t been easy honestly. It’s been a lot of careful touches and joking flirting with closet make out sessions.

No one has seemed to catch on because the two were always close. They have slowly become more and more touchy but people have brushed it off as them just evolving in their friendship. That was until they had a Anthony on the Smosh Games set.

It was Shayne, Angela, Trevor, Chanse, and Anthony playing Don’t Win Mario Party. Spencer is directing while Y/N is helping get everyone set up and making sure everything is in place.

“Y/N, can you come look at this for a second?” Alex Tran asks and they walk over quickly. Unknown to them, Spencer watches their every move as they pass by him and over to one of his best friends. This is not missed on Anthony though, he leans over to Chanse. “What’s going on between those two?” Chanse looks at the dude then looks to see where he is looking then laughs.

“Spencer and Y/N? They’re just friends, nothing more, swear. It’d be epic if they were but sadly not.” This makes Anthony confused because he knows that look on Spencer’s face and his thoughts are confirmed even more when Y/N walks by Spencer and he squeezes their hip as they do.

“You guys are so fucking blind.” He mutters to himself as Chanse looks at him confused then looks at Angela and Trevor. “Do you two know if Y/N and Spencer are a thing?”

“No, why?” Trevor asks, “Mr.Tattos over here thinks they are.” That makes Angela cackle. “Chanse, you remember when you first joined. You thought the same thing, it’s just how it is to the unknowing eye. He’s only been back for like a month.” She says, laughing at the thought of the two being together without anyone knowing.

The whole ordeal is soon over as they start shooting. Everything goes great and smoothly as does most shoots with the dream team of Spencer, Alex T, and Y/N. Angela got first and would be wearing the dog cone the next round while Chanse got fourth.

“Okay, that was great everyone! You all did amazing!” Spencer announces as the room cheers. Y/N walks over to him with a sweet smile as people start to slowly leave the set.

“Very good work today, Mr. Director.” He smirks at their words, “You did very well, my favorite PA.” Their cheeks heat up and they look down. Spencer looks around, noticing the set is empty. He puts his hands on their waist, pulling them in for a kiss which Y/N quickly reciprocates.

The innocent kiss lasts longer than both originally intended. They don’t notice the three newest castmates of Smosh hiding behind the set and poking their heads out just enough to see what is happening.

Angela, being Angela, pulls out her phone and takes multiple photos with a proud smile on her face. Chanse and Trevor do the same thing but Trevor forgot to turn his sound off and the sound of a camera click resounds around the empty studio.

“Trevor, what the fuck?!” Angela whisper yells at him, “Turn your sound off!” Chanse chastises but it’s no use as the couple turns around to see the three. Spencer clears his throat and they look up.

“Is there something you three need?” Y/N asks, leaning their head on Spencer’s shoulder.

A chorus of nos, congratulations, and apologies come from the three as they quickly run off the set. “Well, guess that will be all over the office soon.” Y/N says, looking over to their boyfriend.

He shrugs, “We knew it would happen some day, my love.” Y/N playfully shoves him at the cute nickname before pulling him into another kiss. Not caring about the fact their phones are about to go fucking wild.

#smosh #smosh cast #smosh games #smosh mouth #smosh pit #spencer agnew #spencer agnew x reader #fluff #spencer agnew fluff #romance #fanfiction #imagine #request #smosh x reader #smosh imagine

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andieperrie18 · 1 year ago

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Watching her fall in love

A/n: DISCLAIMER, I just wanna clear out that I HATE Mikio, OR LOATHE him. The man died too quickly for my liking. But I am currently at an emotional but productive mode in my Mizu x Reader fanfic. I needed to vent some writing. I just needed to write somethings to hurt myself, so now I would like to share my pain. I kept this one vague but clear cause certain parts would likely be in the fanfic. So please bear with its corniness and i do hope you enjoy and share some thoughts at the comment section how to make Mikio's suffering a bit more satisfying

Pairing: Mizu x Reader

Series: Blue Eye Samurai

You know she deserves to be happy. There was no reason for her to continue her vengeance now that her mother was actually alive and now has been encouraging Mizu to leave your debt and settle down with the man her mother had found that will surely provide for her.

Not that Mizu was not cared for in your home, with a small dowry left by your deceased father and the a simple home on a piece of land from your husband who worked tirelessly to own for your future before circumstances decided to rob you of the life that you could’ve had with him let alone have a child of your own.

After coming to terms with things, you swear to never love any other man than your husband. But the tides of fate didn’t really like that.

You were on your way home when you found a wounded Mizu on your way. Lucky enough, your place was near when she came stumbling in your arms clutching her bleeding side. In your home, you treated her, fed her and provided her all the necessary things to hasten her recovery despite her constant attempts to deny any more further gestures.

Your persistence rivaled hers and she can’t really do anything than just accept it if she wants to continue her quest for revenge. But she days go by and she can finally function properly, the closer she has become to you. Of course you already knew that she was a woman, tending to her wounds did require you to have her lay bare before you while under unconsciousness. But her eyes, a part of her body that she has come to hate as it was the most visible defect of how she is immediately considered as a monster. You were no stranger to being cast aside so you know how to provide her the right words and comfort.

From that point on, she’s been your constant company either at your small plantation or someone to share food on the dining table. With her harsh childhood and upbringing, Mizu’s cold exterior was very hard but once you do reach her, she is as gentle as a spring water bathing you in in cold warmth under a harsh sun.

“You know that I’ll leave as soon as I reach recovery,” she said with a frown as she sat across from you from the entryway. The evening was young but the skies were burned by a millions suns from eons away and the full moon lingering among them. You looked at her as she did as well, there was a hint of sadness in her icy blue eyes.

“I know, and I will not force you to stay, if this path is what you need to find peace at the end of your road, then do so. Just know that when you’re ready to find your peace, my doors are open to your company,” you offered a smile, one that she did return. One that had you marveling at it all throughout the night.

You haven't come to terms with your feelings with Mizu for quite a while and believed that you really cared for platonically. She has found a great friendship with you and you to her.

As a ‘friend’, you were lucky enough to be there at the small ceremony. Mikio didn’t want anything to do with her and denied any act of consummating their union. But Mizu didn’t worry much as you have provided a great company. Cracks to your resolve showed when you had succeeded to provide Mizu an opportunity to create connection with her husband. You had encouraged her to try approaching the man and keep in mind how persistent he is with that one particular horse he has been taming for days in your observation. Soon, Mizu was having a small conversation with Mikio while you watched.

Watching Mizu’s rough demeanor crumble so easily in his presence was infuriating, an emotion you quick to shut out. Guilt tripping was made easier upon having small conversations with Mizu’s mother who Thanked you for being there for Mizu and helping her create a relationship with Mikio.

“Now that she’s out of your hair, you can finally find a husband as well, your still you my dear,” Mizu’s mother trails, but your attention was on the couple emerging from the green hills riding a horse along the orange horizon. Your eyes on Mizu, laughing, so free. An expression you never once got from her.

The final realization of your love for her was followed by a tsunami of heartbreak as you watched her capture her husbands lips in a kiss by a big tree that you came passing by. You watch her submit to his touch, lifting her legs off the ground and press tender kisses on her neck. You hid by a tree, back against it. You stare up the orange skies as you feel every thing inside you tear itself apart.

A/n: I Just needed to feel pain.

#mizu x reader #mizu x you #mizu blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai imagine #blue eye samurai x reader #angsty #angst

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befuddledcinnamonroll · 27 days ago

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QL Things That Made Me Happy in 2024

It's the end of the year, and people are doing a lot of cute things with superlatives and such, but with my limited bandwidth, I'm gonna keep it simple. Those who follow me know I am here to have a good time, and I like to focus on what brings me joy. 2025 is going to be a rough one, and I know I'm going to continue to need the QL space to help me emotionally cope, so if you'll indulge me, I want to just roll around in the good and the happy for a bit.

(Note, there is also a ton of 2024 content I did not have time to watch, so this does not capture everything good that happened this year!)

Diversity of Genre

Every year we're breaking a little bit more new ground! I'm particularly excited to be seeing more mystery/thriller, for both our BLs & GLs. Robots, vampires, animals turned human, and hopefully soon, mermen. We're getting weirder and wilder, and I am here for it.

Baby Steps in Representation

I know, I know, we all want it to get all better right now, but as someone in my fifth decade of life, I've also seen how small step after small step over the years can lead to huge changes. And in a world where a lot of people are trying to drag us backwards, it's important to keep pushing forward, and celebrate each successful step, even when it feels like it's not enough. (And keep advocating for more, of course!)

Continuing to Give Friendship Its Due

Amazing friend groups are fortunately a QL staple, and this year was no different. We got so much good friend representation this year!

Japan Being Japan

The very top at efficient story-telling, whether it be hitting your heart or tearing it apart.

Taiwan Being Taiwan

Never change Taiwan. Just keep feeding me, pretty please.

Acting Highlights

Wow, did we get some incredible performances this year. Way more than I can list here, but here's a few that came immediately to mind.

Special Mentions

ie stuff that didn't fit under one of the above categories.

A year of TayNew

Step one, be the absolute most in the cutest shit ever. Step two, queer up a found family story. Step three, celebrate owning 2024. (And we get more of them in 2025!)

Big getting his due

We've been chomping at the bit for a Big Thanakorn lead role for ages, and our man delivered! And we're gonna get more next year!

A win for creative independence

I've said it before and I'll say it again, I am so fucking proud of Yin and War. They did something incredibly difficult at great personal cost, and made something genuinely unique. Jack & Joker had a lot of layers, including a lot of cultural depth, along with social commentary. That kind of thing is always going to alienate some people, but that's part of what impressed me so much. If they wanted to make something to appeal to the most generic possible audience, they would have done it. They swung big, and made an impact, and I hope it opens up so much more opportunity for them.

When talent grows exponentially

One of my favorite things about having been into QL for a while now is getting to see actors grow and develop past their initial roles. Often the raw talent is there from the beginning, but as in all careers there is a benefit from experience, the right kind of support, and the right opportunities.

2 Moons 2 was a largely forgettable series that managed to land some unforgettable talent, and both Joong and Pavel were highlights. They've both done so well, but in this particular case, I need to rave about Joong's growth in his performance as Fadel. The entire cast is rocking it in Heart Killers, Dunk is also doing incredible, but I have such a soft spot for the boy I immediately fell for way back in my first year of BL, and seeing him steal scenes from some of my all time favorite GMMTV actors. Well done, bebe, well done.

In summary

This doesn't remotely encompass everything (I didn't even get to all the delightful spice from this year!), I am limited by time and image restrictions per post, but as always, I am so grateful to have discovered this arena of media and this space in which to squee about it, and I am endlessly grateful for the people in this space who bring positivity, nuance, grace, compassion, caring, open-mindedness, humility, and curiosity to my dash.

Happy New Year, y'all.

#bl series #ql series #thai bl #japanese bl #taiwanese bl

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coralinnii · 1 year ago

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I have a request for the villainess AU. For Ace and Deuce, what if it was a love triangle between the MC? I just can’t imagine them being separated because them fighting over the Mc is much funnier!

❋ Being Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy ❋

↳ Love Triangle scenario(?)

feat: Ace and Deuce

genre: humour, budding romance, friends-to-something more?

note: part of the “Reincarnated into a New World as the Bad Guy” series or the Villain/ess au, part of the 2.7k followers event, references to other villain/ess au works (specifically Riddle ver.), Ace + Deuce + reader are old enough to drink, no pronouns used with reader, minor mention of death

I don’t usually do the love triangle trope because real life ones hurt alot and it brings up some bad memories, but I’ll consider it for this, just for y’all~ I genuinely tried but rather than a love triangle, I may have accidentally created a… (seriously was not my intention)

Villain/ess au Series Masterlist

2.7K Followers Writing Event

Before the oath of the sword, the three of you made an oath of your own. One of unquestioned trust and camaraderie. No matter where the string of fate would take either of you, the promise made one drunken night between you, Ace, and Deuce was stronger.

That night was fuelled with unrestrained emotions, with shouting and tears, most coming from you. Especially when you awoke one day with strange visions flooded your dreams, vivid images that spoke of a horrible future for you.

Memories of a strange novel, one that eerily resembles your current world down to each royal family member and even your friends’ lives. But while a hero’s glory awaits your dearest ones, you were left as a tragic minor antagonist.

A mere childhood friend of Ace and Deuce, you became jealous of a former baron’s daughter suddenly turned Queen when she grew close to your friends as her knight escorts. You turned to petty acts in response, spewing nasty rumours among the townfolks of the new Queen but like an angelic protagonist, she revealed your misdeeds but forgave you for your childish taunts. Nevertheless, you lost the respect of your only friends and you were left behind.

But despite the Queen’s pardon, King Riddle heard of your disgraceful behaviour against his beloved and called for your immediate execution, which became the final push for Ace and Deuce to join in the Queen’s rebellion against her own tyrannical husband. Because that’s all you were, a mere catalyst for the story to continue on.

You couldn’t imagine yourself turning into a cliche bully and admittedly, the idea of your untimely demise left you shaking in fear on occasion. But the worst of your premonitory dreams was the predicted end of your friendship.

The looks of disgust and disappointment that painted Ace’s and Deuce’s face seared into your mind, your heart shattering like glass at their wishes to never see you again. The fear of abandonment stings you like a crack in your heart which never healed, it scared you to the point that the moment you saw them happily enjoying the night, you drunkenly cried out.

“I love you so much, please don’t leave me.”

Unceremoniously, your body slumped onto the tavern’s table as you blacked out into an alcoholic slumber. How evil of you, conveniently unable to explain what you meant by your slurred confession, or to whom you were referring to.

Ace and Deuce were visibly distracted during their knight training the morning after, one of the few times that they must separate from you. Your words looping over and over in their heads like an endless echo. Your voice pleaded so sincerely with tears cascading down your cheeks.

“What should we do, Ace?” Deuce broke the awkward silence during their water break, finally taking a step to mention the elephant in the room. Your words that resembled a wistful confession struck him with worry (and a hint of budding hope). But unlike him, Ace was quick to look for possible excuses for your actions.

“Don’t be dumb. It was probably just the alcohol talking. Don’t you remember how much we all drank?” The reddish hue of Ace’s cheeks however betrayed his true emotions. In truth, he was just as frazzled by your words as Deuce was. He kept trying to convince himself that you meant nothing by it, to not get his hopes up. But the little devil on his shoulder whispers in his ear, “but what if you did mean something by it?”

Since then, you felt that your time spent with the duo increased since your last outing. Instead of staying back in the knight’s barracks right after training, Ace and Deuce visited your hometown more often that was not the most convenient travel destination. You felt at least one pair of eyes, either sea blue or rose red or both, watching you before turning away when you tried to catch their gaze.

But it seems that some people did noticed something different with the two young men, specifically their family. Deuce’s mother would smile knowingly at you whenever you drop by to offer some assistance in her business, occasionally mentioning how much her son has grown. Funnily enough, Ace’s older brother mentioned something similar about the redhead, though it was more laced with a teasing tone than one of filial affection.

But you weren’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. You enjoyed the frequent visits of your best friends, especially knowing they will be even busier when the announcement of a new royal member would take your precious moments with them. Rumours were spread about the town of a mysterious figure locked in a tower which were not part of your memories, but your wary heart kept you mindful of the possible news regarding the imperial family.

Your worries intensified when Ace and Deuce announced their new task once dawn breaks, they were to escort the newest addition to the royal family back to the palace. In an attempt to quell your unease, you made an embarrassing request.

“You want to do what?” A bright red hue on Deuce’s face heavily contrasted with his raven blue hair, but you were no position to tease him as you could assume that your embarrassed complexion was no better. “Y-You mean…you…and us…”

The three of you lost track of time chatting and goofing off in your quarters and didn’t realize how the sun has long gone to rest for the night. Instead of returning to their own home, you asked if the two knights were willing to stay over the night, like in your younger days. Back when you three were more used to wooden swords than ones of steel, when your only worry was if your parents were going to cook your favourites that night.

Back when you three shared the same bed together.

“It’s not that crazy of a request…” you pouted but you supposed it was rather absurd to ask your friends, who old enough to be considered men, something so childish. Perhaps those carefree days are truly long gone.

“I’m not opposed to it” Ace gave his signature cheeky smile as he naturally wrapped his arm around your shoulder, slightly leaning his weight onto you. “If you just can’t help but miss our company, we can have a good ol’ slumber party. Just like old times~”

You’re starting to reconsider your request.

But Ace wasn’t done. “Well, it’s not exactly like old times. We’re definitely bigger than back when we were kids”

The redhead was obviously right. The three of you were nothing like the tiny versions of you in the past, and your best friends have certainly bulked up since they started their journey into knighthood. You tried your best but you couldn’t help but gaze in appreciation of the hard work the two of them did to build the stamina and muscles to protect their kingdom, respectfully of course.

“I doubt that all three of us can fit on your teeny little bed.” the scarlet-eyed knight exaggerated his point by squinting his fingers to describe your bed. “I guess Deucey’s just gonna have to go home for tonight.”

“Hey, wait a minute! Why me?!” Deuce snapped out from his flustered daze to glare at Ace, pulling his shaggy-haired companion by the neck of his shirt. “Who are you to tell me what to do?”

Ace remained unperturbed, too used to the blunette’s burst of anger “It’s nothing personal, buddy. But you grind your teeth real loud at night. How is any of us gonna get any sleep?”

“Well you’re a pain to wake up in the morning!” Deuce angrily countered. “Don’t make it our problem to get your ass up tomorrow.”

You watched your best friends bicker and argue, as if you didn’t already know of their terrible sleeping habits. Sure, Deuce grinds his teeth but you always tried to gently soothe his jaw hoping to relax him. Ace may sleep like the dead but his cute little pout every time he finally wakes up makes the effort all worth it to you.

They were idiots, but they were your idiots.

“Will you both stop fighting already?” Ace and Deuce immediately paused as your voice caught their attention, like it always does. “No one’s gotta leave. My bed is not that small, you know?”

To prove your point, you took each of the boy’s hand and led them without issue. For someone as tall and built as them, they were so easy to pull and push as you please. Carefully, you pressed your hands against their chest to push them backwards onto your bed. You then crawled onto the bed yourself between Ace and Deuce, the men automatically shifting their bodies to make space for you.

Satisfied, you laid onto your back and you took the hand of both men, each of your hand snuggly holding their warm, calloused ones. You smiled brightly at the fuzzy feelings of nostalgia bubbling in you, pressing your joining hands to your chest, atop of your beating heart.

“See, no one needs to leave.” your bright eyes looked up to your favourite people, cheeky joy evident in your gaze.

A rare occurrence, the two chatty troublemakers were left speechless. In their defence, they were too busy trying to contain the burst of happiness in their hearts to reply back to you, barely pushing the redness of their cheeks at bay.

#yo did I really say reader has two hands?#I did not plan that!#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst scenarios #twisted wonderland imagines #villainess au #ace trappola #ace trapolla x reader #twst ace x reader #deuce spade #twst deuce x reader #2.7k followers event

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amirasainz · 9 months ago

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okay okay i love the jealous alexandra!! but what about a continuation where it’s bff kika and amira vs alexandra and miss kika throws some hands!! maybe they were out on a girls day like they have kika and amira days and alexandra was there with her bff an iv and they got to shit talking and kika threw some punches, and amira was yelling in spanish like two very jumpy bffs, and pierre and charles are very much like it’d be painful if we hurt them, cause they may just kill us!! love the better girlfriend fic! this series is so so fun ❤️❤️ ( oml and kelly being very proud of her 2 younger wags when she find out )

I'm so sorry but at the end I had to laugh so bad. Please be aware that this is just a fic and not hate towards any persons mentioned.

I hope you enjoy reading and send me some requests.

-XoXo

The better girlfriend (Part 2)

Amira and Kika, inseparable as ever, embarked on another girls’ day in Monaco. Their bond was more than friendship—it was sisterhood. Kika played the role of confidante, makeup lender, and partner-in-crime during hungover mornings. Sweet “girl-dates” were their specialty, and Kika’s shoulder was always there for Amira to lean on.

But Kika wasn’t just a soft touch. Like any true best friend, she’d throw a punch or two if needed to defend Amira. Loyalty ran deep between them.

On this particular day, they indulged in a four-hour shopping spree, treating themselves to manicures and a relaxing spa session. To cap it off, they settled into a cozy restaurant for lunch, sipping delicious mimosas.

Seated at the back, they paid little attention to the other patrons—until a familiar voice reached their ears. It was one of those moments when fate intervened, weaving their lives together with unexpected threads.

"I honestly don't know what he sees in her." the annoying voice of Alex reached their ears. Amira and Kika shared a look, both of their faces looking unimpressed. "Yeah" was the weak reply from Alexandras best friend, Sarah. To be honest, Sarah wasn't Alex biggest fan at the moment. The whole stunt she did with kissing a man that was not her boyfriend wasn't ok. But going to said ex-boyfriends job and offend his new girlfriend publicly was just borderline crazy. In her opinion Amira is a sweet girl and a good girlfriend to Charles. No wonder that they are Sarah's favourite celebrity couple, but don't tell Alex.

"You should have seen her, she stood there like an idiot. She dresses like a whore. Hell, I bet she even behaves like one" Alexandra continued. "And of course little perfect Amira Sainz had to play the angel again and tell the media that she didn't take my words to heart. Does this bitch even know who I am? My word is law." For gods sake why couldn't she stop talking, thought Sarah.

Meanwhile, Kika and Amira listend to the one-sided conversation. Both girls started getting angrier the more they heard. While Amiras rage was the "I can destroy your life with one sentence" rage, Kika's blood was boiling. "Who does this stupid bitch think she is" muttered Kika.

But when Alexandra confessed she started the internet rumor of Amira having an eating disorder, all rational thoughts left her head. During those horrible rumours, Amira started really struggling. Anti-Ferrari fans and Anti-Charles fans took the presented possibility to write her online hate. Besides, starting rumours about serious topics like that is never alright, no matter who it is about. It was a very dark time for Amira.

Before Amira could even comprehend what was happening, Kika stood up and went to the neighbour table. "Hey, girlie" she said to Alex sweetly, before taking her hair and dragging her out of the chair. Alex screeched like an wounded animal, which gained the attention of the other guest and staff. One young waitress recognised the girls and started filming.

Kika pushed her to the floor and started ripping of her fake nails. "Who the fuck do you think you are talking about my best friend like that?" Alex and Kika started ringing on the floor. Obviously Kika had the upper hand. Amira, who was still angry, decided to encourage her besties behaviour. "Vamos, Kika. Acaba con esta estúpida zorra." she yelled. Kika shot her a little smile while Alex looked at her in horror. "Eso es, zorra. Toma tu puta opinión y a ver a quién le importa. " Amira said straight to her face, raising an eyebrow.

Kika slapped her one last time across the face, stood up and said loudly: "Can we get our sandwiches to-go, please?" Amira and Kika turned to the filming waitress who answered excitedly: "Girls, it's on the house for you." After paying their mimosas and taking their food, the two left.

Inside the car, Amira hugged Kika tight. "Thank you" she whispered tearfully. Kika didn't say anything back, just hugged her tighter. What the two girl's weren't aware of, was, that at this exact moment, their little video fight went viral. And boy, did the fans stand on Kikas and Amiras side.

Bonus (+):

Max and Kelly stood in front of the girls, the video on in the background. They knew Charles and Pierre wouldn't say anything against their behaviour, so they took it upon themselves to be that bad cops.

"I am very disappointed in you two. Instead of talking it out like an adult, you hit her, Kika. And you shouldn't have encouraged her, Amira. As a punishment you both are not allowed to have any girl-days for two weeks." explained Max tiredly. Instead of arguing, both girls silently nodded their heads.

After a moment of silence Max spoke again: "Kelly, don't you want to say anything as well?" "….Bad girls." was her only reply. While Max held his head in his hands, Kelly shot the two of them a secret wink.

#formula 1 #baby!sainz!sister #charles leclerc x reader #pierre gasly x kika gomez x reader #kika gomez x reader #no hate #max verstappen x kelly piquet x reader

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hdmsbsna · 1 month ago

Note

Hello, I saw your post that you uploaded about Paul's writings😭😭😭, so I wanted to ask if you could make one of Paul x actress reader, I don't know, maybe he's going to see it behind the scenes or I don't know

REQUESTED: so i kind of got carried away with this, and i actually kind of love it. i'm deciding on whether or not i should make it a series, never done one before though😭 anyways...let me know what you guys think.

pairing: paul mescal x reader (fluff)

warnings: none

description: close, but not close enough follows two popular actors, you and paul, navigating a close friendship complicated by rumors and paparazzi. after a wild night, you both deal with the fallout of being misinterpreted as a couple, despite only wanting to stay friends. you both navigate your friendship with humor, understanding, and subtle flirtations, ultimately realizing how much you mean to each other.

word count: 2.2k

title: close, but not close enough.

song: lowkey by rochelle jordan

you wake up with a throbbing headache, which reminds you of the things that occurred last night but before you have time to reminisce… you all of a sudden have the urge to vomit. you quickly run to your bathroom and puke your organs out, it feels like never-ending vomit.

you’re about three minutes into just pure retching when you feel a pair of hands on ur shoulders, you’re too out of it to care who’s touching you, you just take the support and continue with your business. eventually the person’s hands pull back your hair, and as they graze over your neck that’s when you realize whose hands those belongs to

“PAUL? WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?” you yell.

“jesus fucking christ, i slept over. do you mind?” he responds back

“do i mind? this is my house.” you respond lowering your voice. “do i mind?” repeating the sentence again wondering where he found the audacity.

“listen, i’m sure you remember we were all drunk. the others were able to get dd’s but i forgot to beforehand and when i tried to call an uber they hung up on me. i slept on the couch, don’t worry.” paul said clearly, trying not to piss you off any more.

“gosh paul, you know you can’t do shit like this. what if the paparazzi catches you leaving my house? i really don’t need another rumor going around.” you say, completely calm now.

“yeah, you’re right i’m sorry but at least we’re saving gas today.” he responds back, clearly not that sorry.

“pfhaha you think we’re driving to set together? you’re out of your mind, you sir are going back to your house and getting your own car.” you say matter-of-factly.

“really? you hate me that much?”

“yes..” you say watching his expression get mad. “now go get your stuff and i’ll see you in a bit.”

“fine whatever, hope you get even sicker.” he says as he walks out of your bedroom.

“FUCK YOU!” you yell back. you hear his laughter from across the house.

“love you too!” he says as the front door opens and closes.

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you and paul are both very popular actors, you guys have worked on a project once before and both of you guys are back to do another. he was one of your best friends and you genuinely enjoyed his presence but unfortunately because of the first film you guys filmed which was a romance, so many people have ‘shipped’ you guys together including fans, directors, writers and even your mutuals. it can be so frustrating when so many people want you together. you and paul of course don’t like each other, only friend feelings there, however you obviously take on more responsibility between the two of you, making sure that what you do doesn’t give people the wrong impression. unfortunately for you, paul doesn’t care at all.

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“i’m saying that we can’t be publicly hanging out, people will get the wrong impression” you say over the phone, currently on facetime with him.”

“who gives a shit? i mean we know exactly what we are and what we aren’t, people are going to come up with their own impressions anyways so we should just be ourselves.” paul responds not understanding your worry.

“yeah, i know but i don’t want to have to always worry about our outings being the headline of the next ‘people’ magazine” you say trying to get him to understand.

“we’re already in the ‘people’ magazine.” pauls retorts.

“okay, well this is my decision whether or not you agree with it. only private hangouts from now on.”

“fine,” pauls says clearly not happy with your decision “maybe we should just fake date and like give them what they want and then we’ll break up and no one will care about us again”

“you’re actually insane for that, tell me that wasn’t an actual thought of yours.” you chuckle.

“i’m just trying to think of ways where i can enjoy the company of one of my best friends.”

“i just told you, private hangouts. there’s no way around it, that’s that.” you say sternly.

“you’re hot when you’re serious.” paul says, expecting a reaction from you.

“okay and that’s where we end this call, talk to you never.”

“mhm, love you too sweetie.”

that conversation happened about three months ago and you must say, paul had done an excellent job making sure you guys were never seen together. that’s one of the things you loved most about him, he may not be happy with your decisions but he’ll always respect and follow them. you know paul loves you and just wants to hang out with his best friend, but you can’t afford the damage of one misinterpreted photo affecting you for months out of your life. paul may not know it now, but this decision is benefiting him a lot.

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you took a shower right after paul left, you definitely needed it especially with all the vomit on you. you took your hangover medications that you’ve had for years.

after your shower, you got into some comfy clothes and tied your hair up. you didn’t feel like putting in any effort to your appearance today, especially since paul already saw you this rough. you grab your keys, wallet and phone and head out the door. you walk to a coffee shop and order a matcha latte and have an uber pick you up and take you to set.

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the uber has dropped you off, and you make your way to set. as you walk past everyone, you’re getting so many awkward looks. the tension is extremely high, you walk past your favorite producer and he just puts his head down. finally, you make it to your chair only to be interrupted.

“hey, umm the director wants to see you…” emily says awkwardly, she’s the director’s assistant.

“okay, where is he?” you ask.

“he’s over by the food.”

“mkay, thanks.” you respond as you start making your way to the food area.

on your way there you bump into paul…he sure knows how to clean up.

“hey, you heading to steve?” he asks.

“what? yeah, are you?” you ask clearly confused.

“yeah, emily told me he wanted to see me. you think we’re in trouble?” he asks.

“i mean we haven’t done anything wrong so he probably just wants to talk about a scene or something.”

“maybe, did you see how people were staring when you walked in?”

“yeah it was super weird, they did it to you too?” you ask him.

“yeah, they did.”

you arrive at the food area and you see your director, steve. he’s grabbing some grapes and putting them on his plate. you and paul both give each other a stare and start walking towards him. you notice that some people around you were staring as you went up to steve.

“sir, you wanted to see us?” you say as you lightly tap his shoulder.

“ahh, hello guys. yes, i did want to see you both. i just wanted to remind you guys that dating while filming is not my preference, and although we’re almost finished shooting i will not hesitate to replace you guys.”

“i’m sorry…what?” paul asks, clearly upset.

“yeah, where is all of this coming from?” you ask irritated.

“next time you guys sleep together, try to be a little more sneaky.” he says as he throws a phone on the table and walks away.

you and paul both go to look what’s on the phone and to your disdain it’s ‘people’ magazine with the big and bold title of “actor, paul mescal, was seen leaving co-stars apartment, proving all of the rumors true.” and right below that, is a picture of paul looking straight into the camera, only a block away from your apartment.

“fuuuuuuuuck” paul almost whispers.

“you’ve got to be shitting me. this is fucking ridiculous.” you say.

“listen, i’m so sorry. i really tried to be sneaky.”

“no, it’s not your fault. i knew this would happen eventually, i was just hoping it would be after we wrapped.” you say disappointedly.

“well, i guess we just have to explain ourselves to steve and hope for the best.”

“yeah, i guess so.” you sigh.

you honestly weren’t mad at paul at all, after all it’s not like he was the one who made these pictures surface. but you were however, mad at everyone else for believing that shit. you had assumed that over the year and a half you’ve worked with these people, they would be able to figure out what was false and what wasn’t. of course, you were wrong in that thinking…

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you had just finished wrapping up filming for the day, you were so exhausted and honestly all you wanted to do was go home and get drunk again.

“hey, you did a great job today.” paul says, interrupting your thoughts.

“thank you paul, as did you,” you think for a moment “you wanna come over and have a drink?”

paul laughs. “you’re joking right?”

“what? why would i be joking?”

“well i mean you’re the one that’s always saying we can’t be seen together.” paul says, chuckling.

“well, we’ve already been ‘seen’ together so let’s just enjoy ourselves.” you say, really wanting some company.

“god, if only someone had said that before.” paul says sarcastically.

“are you coming or not?”

“sureee, since you want me sooo bad.” paul says teasingly.

“yeah yeah, fuck you.”

you grab your stuff and walk off set with paul. “did you bring your car?” you ask paul.

“no i got an uber this morning.” he responded.

“mmm okay, well i’ll give you a ride then.” you say.

you open your car door and paul walks over to left side, getting into the passenger seat. you both are in the car and you turn the heater on because of how cold it was. you have paul put on some music and you head back to your apartment. the music honestly became useless considering you guys were chatting the whole time, mostly talking about the rumors going around.

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you eventually arrive at your apartment, both you and paul get out of the car. you unlock the gate and head inside, taking off your slides once you reach your front door. you unlock your door and let paul shut and lock it.

“i’m going to get in some more comfortable clothes, liquor’s in that cabinet.” you say pointing your finger to a cabinet right above the fridge.”

“alright.” pauls responds.

you quickly go in your room and grab some loose shorts and a hoodie, changing your socks as well. you make your way to the kitchen and find two glasses of wine. you loved wine.

“good choice paul good choice.”

“what can i say? i know you better than you give me credit for.”

“it sure appears that way,” you say in response. “come on let’s go sit on the couch, i’ll put on a movie.”

you and paul head to the couch sitting next to each other, you grab the remote and turn on the tv scrolling through peacock.

“mmm, we should watch ‘speak no evil’ it just came out” you say.

“yep, that’s fine by me.” paul says.

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“why the fuck wouldn’t they just go through the front door?!” you say, upset over the character’s choice.

you’re about an hour into the movie and seven glasses of wine into the night. over the night you and paul had managed to scoot closer to each other, you lay your head on his shoulder as you continue to watch the movie. you’re a lightweight when it comes to alcohol which is why you only ever drink around paul, you find yourself staring at paul as he’s watching the movie. his blue eyes appear darker than they actually are and his skin lighting up with every flash of the movie. paul eventually turns to face you, both of you just staring at each other. you look down at his lips as he looks down at yours, you bite the inside of your cheek. you continue to hold his gaze before finally returning back to the movie.

the movie comes to the end, and you guys both shuffle around. paul stretching and you doing the opposite, you were so tired. all you wanted to do right now was fall asleep. “paul, take me to my room please.” you ask, not even thinking about it.

“yes ma’am” paul responds as he picks you up and carries you to your room, laying you down on your comfortable and unmade bed. as soon as your body hits that mattress, a sense of relaxation clouds your body. you mumble a ‘thank you’ to him as you slowly drift off.

“i’ll see you tomorrow then,” paul says as he walks to your door, he pauses for a moment before saying

“i enjoy you so much, you don’t even understand.”

“me too paul,” you tiredly mumble. “i love you, see you tomorrow.”

“goodnight lovely girl.”

hope you guys liked this, let me know if i should make it a series💕

requests and dms are opened, feel free to get in touch. also just turned on anonymous requests, i wanted to keep your thoughts private. love you guys !!

#paul mescal x reader #paul mescal #imagine #x reader #fanfic #cute #fluff #tension

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sunflowersandsapphires · 1 month ago

Text

Be still my foolish heart

Of Oak and Ivy, Chapter 10

Series Masterlist Next Chapter

pairing: Matt Murdock x fem!reader

summary: In college, Matt Murdock had two best friends, Foggy Nelson and you. However, life had no intention of letting you graduate with him. When he reconnects with you in adulthood, he is troubled to see the hand God has dealt you and vows to use every tool at his disposal to save you from damnation.

warnings: swearing, angst (resolution at end), discussion about money and struggling financially, continuing sexual thoughts, MINORS DNI, sad matt (as if that needs a warning)

a/n: Sorry for the sporadic posting everyone, the past few weeks months, years have been crazy. Here is the resolution for the spicy angst in chapter 9! I hope you all enjoy.

w/c: 6k

Running your thumb over the crease you’d inadvertently made in the page, you worried your bottom lip as you tried to press it flat beneath the pad of your finger. This book was a rental and you could NOT afford to pay for it if it wasn't returned in pristine condition. Bills had been piling up this semester. In itself, being broke wasn't a new problem. Your inability to cope with said bills, however, very much was.

You'd been treading the poverty line since you'd left for Columbia. School was expensive, your mom wasn't there to buy groceries, and the company managing your gas bill had increased their rates, meaning your previous budget was worthless. The high cost of heating, combined with the fact that your dad was once again flaking on his contributions to your mom's rising medical debt... It was adding up.

Sure, it was stressful. Money was the biggest cause of your anxiety most days, with your difficult curriculum following closely behind. But you'd been coping well enough.

Until your subconscious decided to pile more weight onto your already struggling psyche.

The image of Matt's pompous smirk hovering over you had been haunting you all week. Every time you closed your eyes, his deep rasp rumbled in your ears–praising you for your tenacity, your performance. Even days later, the thought was thrilling. And that made you feel unbelievably guilty.

Though nothing had actually happened between you and Matt, your brain was determined to brand you as an adulterer. Any time you heard from Everett, even if it was just a text, your stomach rolled with intense regret. You felt dirty and ashamed. For needing the thought of another man to get you off, for mentally cheating on Evs while being beneath him, and for exploiting your friendship with Matt by crafting this sinful image of him.

You’d unintentionally dragged your boyfriend onto the emotional rollercoaster you were stuck on, swerving between desperate lust and distant tension without a warning. One day, you’d need to be on top of him, lips locked, and the next you couldn’t stand being within ten feet of each other. After a week of continuous flip-flopping, Everett had reached his limit, telling you sternly to figure out what you wanted before teasing him further. The brief argument only added to the embarrassment you’d been wading in.

Sighing roughly, you pinched the bridge of your nose. Humiliation bubbled in your stomach, churning around your day-to-day anxiety. Your brain felt like it was being slapped around like a tennis ball, jumping between various reasons to spiral. You had no money. You were going to flunk out of school. You were unable to hold a relationship. You'd never be satisfied in love.

Groaning, you rubbed at your temples, the pads of your fingers flickering as your pulse pushed at them. You needed to fucking study, which seemed impossible when your brain would not shut up.

“Doin' ok there, bug?”

The familiar voice startled a shriek from you, your hands flying to grab the counter as you nearly toppled out of your seat. Wide eyes flying up from your textbook, you felt heat rush to your cheeks when you saw Foggy standing there. Foggy's brows were raised, an amused smile directed at your frazzled state.

“Jesus Christ, Fog. You're gonna give me a heart attack one day.” You grumbled, shaking off the lingering fear and smoothing your clothes in an attempt to regain your dignity.

“You sure that day isn't today?” The blond asked innocently, eyes twinkling with the jest.

Huffing, you raised the heavy text you'd been pretending to read, hiding behind it as you muttered, “Shut up.”

Foggy cackled, striding behind the counter and hopping onto a stool. “What’s so interesting? You clearly didn't hear me come in.”

“This stupid Contracts assignment.” You huffed, absently running your thumb over the corner again. “I can’t get through it and, trust me, I’ve tried.”

“Hamer v. Sidway?” Foggy clarified. When you nodded, a sly grin slid over his face. “Well, wouldn’t you be lucky to have a certain handsome friend who has already digested that opinion! If only you were in a study group with him…”

You shook your head as Foggy tapped chin thoughtfully, a smile breaking through your stony expression despite yourself. “Oh are we disbanding the 3 Musketeers? I wasn’t notified.”

“You missed the public hearing.” Foggy shrugged, sighing with exaggerated weariness. “With no opposing testimony, the vote was unanimous.”

“Mr. Nelson, you aren’t suggesting that I missed 10 days worth of public notice, are you?” You raised an eyebrow, tension rolling off your shoulders in Foggy’s presence. “Because I’d have to live under a rock to overlook those signs in my most frequented areas.”

“Oh woe is me!” Foggy crooned mournfully. “Losing my beloved Musketeers to a default judgment.”

“Your Musketeers?” You scoffed out a laugh.

“Well, as the founder of our little band of misfits–” Foggy puffed out his chest, barely stifling his grin as you protested incredulously.

“Excuse you!” Crossing your arms, you forced a scowl onto your face as Foggy giggled beside you. “The 3 Musketeers of Columbia will go down in history as nothing short of a team effort. Mark my words, Franklin: if you so much as insinuate–”

Holding his hands up in mock surrender, Foggy’s laughter was infectious. “Ok, ok! I concede. This ruse was a test of your loyalty, my fair lady. One that you’ve passed excellently, I might add.”

“A test of my loyalty? I’m not the one trying to break up the crew, Fog.” You narrowed your eyes at him, your smile most definitely undermining your ability to look threatening.

Averting his gaze as his expression softened a bit, Foggy kicked his feet like a child on a swing, scuffing them lightly on the ground at the low point of their respective arc. “Fair enough. It just…you haven’t been around this week. Thought maybe you’d found better people to study with.” All humor had drained from his face, his brow slightly pinched with anxiety as he continued to avoid eye contact.

Frowning in lieu of a response, you stood from your seat at the counter, snatching Foggy in a bear hug. Relievingly he chuckled, leaning into the embrace. Resting your chin on his beanie-clad head, you squeezed him tightly. ‘Listen here, Nelson. You and Matt mean too much to me for me to even consider replacing you as study group co-founders. Not to mention that 99% of the other students here don’t hold a candle to the pair of you in any respect.”

Releasing your friend from your hold, you dragged the empty stool closer. Your shoulders brushed Foggy’s as you plopped back on top of the chair. “I promise, Fog. I’m not leaving the group.” Your voice was grave as you made the vow, the seriousness apparently escaping the man next to you who, of course, laughed.

“Christ, bug, you make it sound like we’re a middle school band on the verge of collapse.”

“And what if we are, Fog?” You threw a hand over your chest dramatically. “You know your heart ain’t in it anymore. And Matt’s kazoo work hasn’t been the same since the tour.” Breaking off into a forced voice crack, you chewed the inside of your cheek to keep from smiling when Foggy snorted.

“Ok, Matt would never step foot into a room with a kazoo in it, let alone select it as his instrument of choice.” He grimaced, no doubt imagining the assault of a kazoo on his roommate’s delicate senses.

“Well you’re lead vocals and I’m tambourine, so he doesn’t have many other options.” You explained, no longer hiding your grin as Foggy cackled.

“I’m vocals!? Ugh, we’re DOOMED!” He groaned, running a hand over his throat as if it was sore from imaginary over-exertion.

“Are we? I’ve heard legends of the Siren deep in the showers of Jay Hall.” You smirked as his jaw dropped.

“Oh that little–Doesn’t he know that making false promises is, like, unholy or something?” Foggy scoffed with embarrassed frustration. “I should’ve known he’d tell you. He can’t keep anything from you.”

Heat rose to your cheeks at the reference to your and Matt’s close relationship. Your brain began to spiral as you remembered the image of his smile hovering above you.

“Hey, I'm not actually mad, bug. It’s alright.” Foggy elbowed you, studying your face.

Nodding uneasily, you gave a weak chuckle. “I know, Fog. Sorry.”

“Did Matt do something stupid? Is that why you haven’t been around?” Foggy asked, turning his body to face you as his concern piqued.

“No!” You squeaked out in a rush, shaking your head furiously. “No, he didn’t do anything, Fog. I’ve just been stressed about school and my mom and stuff. I’ll make more of an effort to tell you guys when I need space, ok?”

The long-haired man didn’t seem to fully buy the excuse, but he swiveled back towards the counter. “Mmmhmm. Sounds plausible, but you know you can always come to me if something happens, right?”

There was clearly more to that promise than he was trying to let on, but you were too frazzled to decipher what the hidden meaning was. “Course, Fog. You too. With me, I mean.”

Knocking his shoulder against yours, Foggy’s nose crinkled as he smiled. “I know, jitterbug. Now stop worrying over me. My ego will get too big.”

Snorting at the thought, you linked your arm with his. “I’m going to ignore the slightly insulting nickname in favor of asking you how it went with Marcia the other day.”

“Marci, not Marcia. And it was AWESOME!” Foggy squealed, face lighting up as he began recounting his evening with her the weekend before.

Homework entirely forgotten, you were enraptured as Foggy animatedly walked you through his eventful evening with his bombshell classmate. Ignoring the fact that he was certainly embellishing the story for your benefit, but he'd clearly had a good time.

Just as he began to narrate how the night eventually ended, your phone buzzed.

“Saved by the bell!” You shuddered comically, smirking when Foggy scoffed in offense. Flipping open your phone, you tried not to cackle in Jen's ear as Foggy pouted beside you. “Hey Jen, what's up?”

“Did you see the email?” Glossing over pleasantries, Jen was obviously annoyed, sparking a rush of worry in your gut.

“Um, no? What happened?” You frowned, chewing the inside of your cheek as your brain began to spiral over the numerous mistakes you could've made that would result in a pissed off roommate.

“Our building won't have heat for the rest of the month.” She grumbled, definitely rolling her eyes on the other end of the line.

“The rest of the MONTH? You're fucking kidding.” Anxiety quickly turning to shared frustration, you held up a finger when Foggy looked at you quizzically.

Your building was ancient and the baseboard heaters were probably older than you, which meant they'd stood no chance against the bitter New York weather this winter. The heat had sporadically given out over the past few months, resulting in half hearted promises from the owner about new systems being installed–so this news wasn't necessarily surprising, but that didn't mean you wanted to deal with it.

“Super wanted us to know so we could 'make the necessary arrangements'. Piece of shit.” She sulked.

“Fuck, Jen, what are we gonna do? I can't afford a space heater.” Scrubbing a hand over your face, the resilient debt-induced panic that had faded to the back of your mind reared its mangey head.

“Well, good news and bad news. Good news is Oscar's parents are willing to loan us a pair that they have in their garage so we won't need to buy or rent any.” She trailed off, clearly not excited about the latter half of the plan.

“C'mon Jen, break it to me.” You huffed, not at all willing to let her ignore the less fortunate piece of the situation. If you wanted to prevent your impending nervous breakdown for another few weeks, you'd need to act on this issue immediately.

“Wewon'tbeabletograbthemuntilaftertheconference.” She muttered in a rush.

Drawing in a breath to extend your waning patience, you asked again. “Jen, in English please.”

An uneasy groan came across the line before she clarified. “We won't be able to grab the space heaters until after the conference.”

Shit. That was bad news. Most, if not all, of Columbia's 3Ls were at the Tri-State Justice Conference in New Jersey until Friday—three days from now.

“I'm sorry, but we both need the attendance credit and—” Jen explained, sounding like she was about to cry.

“Hey, it's ok, babes. I'll figure it out. Don't worry, ok? Just enjoy the conference as much as you can and I'll find a place to stay.”

“I'm really sorry, I—” She stammered.

“I promise I'll be ok.” Your throat felt tight, your efforts to stave off a breakdown over this clearly failing. ”I'll talk to you soon.“

Hanging up the phone, you dropped your head into your hands, digging your fingers into the bridge of your nose in an attempt to collect yourself.

Hesitantly, Foggy called your name. “Everything ok?”

“Uh, not really...but when is it ever?” You chuckled bitterly, your words muffled by your palms.

Two arms wound around your shoulders, pulling you into a hug that mirrored the one you'd given Fog earlier. Your face met his sturdy shoulder, and it took every ounce of your resolve to not let yourself dissolve into tears.

“What happened, bug?” Foggy asked, holding you tightly as you inhaled shakily.

“Apparently our heat went out. Again. And, uh, I don't really know what to do, Fog.” You admitted, craning your neck to look at him. “Everett, Jen, and Oscar are all out of town and I–”

“You can stay in our room.” Foggy stated simply, as if it was the obvious solution to the problem. “We don't have much, but we DO have heat.”

“Fog, you don't have to–” You protested, but he cut you off with a wave of his hand.

“I know I don't have to, I want to! It'll be a study group sleepover!!” He rubbed a circle into your back before taking his seat once more.

And that was that. The long-haired boy had already turned back to the book he’d pulled out while you were on the phone, considering the matter resolved. Sitting there dumb founded, you stared at him for a moment, half expecting him to yell “Psych!” and leave you to sort your own shit out. But he didn’t.

“Do Frodo and Sam kinda give you a gay vibe?” He asked suddenly, jarring you out of your anxious stance.

“What?” You blinked, trying to process the jump to a completely different topic while you were still thinking about a sleepover in Matt and Foggy’s shared room.

Giving a shrug, Foggy turned the page. “I mean, they’re soulmates for sure. But sometimes it seems like Tolkien did not mean for it to be platonic, ya know?” Glancing up at you with a grin, he giggled. “What? Is there something on my face?”

“Fog,” You chuckled in exasperation, shaking your head at his unfailing positivity.

“What?” Raising the book as he threw his arms up, Foggy’s smirk made you laugh harder. “See this is precisely why you need to sleepover. Matt never finds me this funny.”

“You were serious about that?” You asked hesitantly, fisting the cuff of your sweater sleeve in one hand, toying with a loose thread along its edge.

“Uh, yah? Why?” Foggy snorted, still reading and no doubt hosting a heated internal debate over one or more hobbits’ sexualities.

“I mean..I dunno, wouldn’t that be…weird?” Heat was clawing at your face, your insecurities making you cringe sheepishly.

“Ah, I suppose I’ve neglected to consider all the facts.” Sticking a folded gum wrapper in the joint of his book, he let the cover flap shut, crossing his arms as he pondered. “You are a girl, and the latest studies suggest a correlation between your gender and high levels of 'cooties'.”

Expression utterly serious, you couldn't help but dissolve into giggles as Foggy tapped a finger on his chin in deep contemplation. “Shut up, you know what I meant.”

“I'm not sure I do. Unless you DO in fact have cooties. In which case Matt and I would need to draft a contract to distribute liability in the event that we CATCH your cooties.”

“You know what,” You laughed. “Let's all be honest about who is catching 'cooties' from who. I have fantastic hygiene, counselor.”

“You're right. It's Murdock we need to worry about.”

Looking at each other solemnly, you and Foggy broke at the same time, cackling over the ridiculous notion.

“Of course I was serious, dude!“ Foggy kicked your shin lightly as you wiped a tear from your cheek. ”Did you really think I was just going to let you freeze to death? That Matt would allow that to happen?”

“No,” You murmured, tucking the toes of your sneakers behind the legs of your stool. “I guess not.”

Mouth squishing to one side with his skepticism, Foggy leaned closer to your hunched form. “In case I am not making myself clear, let me lay it out for you, jitterbug. Neither Matt nor I would ever object to you staying over if you wanted to, let alone needed to for your own safety. We care about you and we would never jeopardize a fellow Musketeer.”

Nodding bashfully, you linked your pinkies together, dropping them into your lap. “Ok. Thanks, Fog.”

“Anytime, bug. How much longer are you chained to this counter?” He frowned at the offending furniture with distaste, laying a palm over his stomach. “I'm getting hungry.”

Rolling your eyes, you glanced at the clock behind you. “About another hour. But you are more than welcome to venture out for a meal before that. Only one of us is contractually obligated to be here.”

“NO MAN LEFT BEHIND” Foggy declared, saluting you before turning back to his book diligently.

Biting your cheek to stifle a grin, you turned back to your own homework, grateful for the two men keeping you sane as your life crumbled into chaos.

Swallowing as your throat constricted with nerves, your knuckles hovered an inch away from the nicked wooden door. Your adrenaline-soaked subconscious was buzzing, telling every cell to enter “flight” mode, but your feet felt glued to the dingy carpet.

What are you so afraid of? You chastised yourself. It's just Fog and Matt. Not like you're about to have open heart surgery or something.

Tilting your entire body forward until your knuckles brushed the surface of the door, you'd barely made a sound before it opened, revealing a confused Matt and a beaming Foggy.

Greeting you simultaneously, Matt's perplexed tone didn't match his roommate's joyful one in the slightest. “Are you ok?”

Despite being evidently baffled, Matt ushered you into the room.

“Um, yes? Why…” Looking to Foggy questioningly, you watched as the long-haired boy grimaced apologetically. “Ah, I see someone did not fill you in on the situation.”

“I forgot!” Foggy smiled sheepishly.

Exhaling with a frustrated huff, you shifted from foot to foot as the ball of nervous energy fueling you tumbled around your body. “Um, my building has no heat for the rest of the week so Foggy said I could stay here? But if that's not ok with you–” You took a small pace backwards, giving you the option to completely eject from the situation, but Matt carefully reached for your arm.

His fingers brushed over your wrist, gently clasping around your arm. At his cautious touch, the air flew out of your lungs, your eyes widening as they focused on his face. Lips turned down ever so slightly, his brow was furrowed with his classic Matt Murdock concern. Whether you'd given yourself a papercut or received news of your mother's recurrence, Matt's worry and desire to fix whatever he could was etched deeply in his expression.

“Of course that's ok, sweetheart. The heat's out again? Did they say they were going to replace the baseboards?” As he asked his follow-up questions, his free hand came up to cup your other elbow, until he was practically cradling you in his arms.

Sighing, you didn't fight him as his grip tightened, morphing into a full body embrace. Hands spread over your back, Matt's chin landed over your head like it belonged there. Anxiety fading, you shrugged against him with a bitter laugh. “Sure, but they say that every time.”

Planting a kiss against your hairline, and coincidentally reigniting the swarm of murderous butterflies in your stomach, Matt withdrew his arms and stepped aside to wave you into the room. His mouth was still curved into a frown, the wheels in his head clearly turning as you set down your backpack and hopped onto Foggy's mattress.

“Thank god you're here, bug. I desperately need someone to read through my legal writing assignment. She only drops the two lowest and I need a decent grade in this class.” Foggy rummaged through his bag, yanking out a few pages filled with illegible handwriting and margin doodles, dropping them in your lap.

With a giggle, you made a show of copying Foggy's movements, dropping the assignment back into his possession. “Yah, sorry bud but you're going to need to read that to me if you want my help.”

“Oh come on, my handwriting isn't THAT bad.” Foggy protested, squinting at the essay.

“It might not be the worst print in the world, but I'm not a grade school teacher. I'm not practiced at–” You explained, smiling innocently as Foggy grew more affronted by the accusation.

“Woah, woah, woah, GRADE school–”

“Ok, you're right, 7th grade maybe?” You shrugged, laughing as the blond shoved you in response. The two of you were grinning at each other when Matt's question burst out of him.

“Have you complained to the board of health? Or the HPD?”

Meeting Foggy's gaze, you both blinked owlishly before turning to face Matt. The dark-haired boy was staring blankly at the pair of you, his face flitting between dark concern and pure fury.

“What?” You asked, eyes drawn to Matt's fists as they flexed at his sides.

“About the heat. It's..it's not safe for your landlord to be leaving his tenants without heat. Not when it's this cold.”

“Matt, buddy,” Foggy interrupted placatingly, throwing an arm around your shoulders. ”That's why she's here, remember? Problem solved.“

“Until it goes out again next month.” Matt growled.

Squeezing Foggy's leg, you shot him a knowing look. “Matt, I'll call HPD tomorrow when they open. Promise. You can sit with me to listen, if you'd like.”

Pursing his lips, Matt considered the suggestion. With a weary exhale, he nodded, his fingers sliding out of their rigid curls. “Ok.”

“Right, well, now that we've settled that, let's listen to Foggy read his essay aloud—since neither of us will be able to look it over otherwise.”

Grumbling, Foggy flopped onto his stomach, resolutely ignoring your chuckles as he cleared his throat. “Prepare to be dazzled—”

As much as you wanted to help your friend out with his assignment, Foggy’s words flew into one ear and out the other, briefly tapping your brain like a small steel sphere on a pinball bumper. Once you'd seemingly put his mind at ease, Matt had joined the two of you on the opposite side of the room, Snuggling in close and sandwiching you between the pair of men.

On any other day, the position would be comforting. Your limbs cloaked with their combined body heat, their soothing voices overriding the anxious buzzing in your brain. Today, the invisible swarm of bees in your skull only became more enraged. You felt trapped, cornered by your friends and your own tattered feelings.

Matt's shoulder flanked yours, his body pressed in so tightly to you that the thin hairs on your cheeks and neck fluttered with his every exhale. A small vibration in your pocket pushed you over the edge. Had Everett finally responded to your apology? Was he still upset? How could you accept his forgiveness when you were practically sitting in Matt's lap?

Shifting your weight uncomfortably, you tried to keep yourself separate from Matt, digging your shoulder into the wall rather than leaning it against his chest. Another buzz from your pocket had you gritting your teeth. It was too much, it was all too much. Foggy was talking so loud and the temperature of this room was stifling and how on earth could he sleep in these sheets–they must have the thread count of a fast food napkin.

Choking in a breath, you dove off the bed. “It sounds great so far, bubs. I have to check my phone real quick, someone is calling me.” Nearly toppling over in your haste to escape the room, the door shook as it closed roughly against its frame. Shakily pulling your phone from your jeans, you opened it, trying to get your breathing under control. It was like you'd been shoved underwater with a dwindling oxygen tank–given the sudden atmospheric pressure and your inability to take a full breath.

One text was from your father, reminding you to pay the most recent medical bill. I'll get right on that. You rolled your eyes, deleting the message.

The other message was from Everett. Your body went rigid as you read his name, your finger inching towards the button that would open it up, revealing whatever he'd sent you. As the screen flashed, pixels shifting to spell out the five words he'd deemed important enough to send, your heart momentarily stopped.

Talk when I’m back.

Nothing else. No indication of how angry he was, what the talk would be about, if you would still be together in a week. Fuck.

Behind you, the door creaked open, a worried Foggy appearing from the shadows. ”Everything ok?“

”Yep!” You squeaked, snapping your phone shut with a force that made you grimace. “All good.”

Sending your friend a smile that you hoped looked more honest than it felt, you shuffled back into the room, sensing that the energy had changed. “Sorry, just Everett and my dad bothering me.”

In your absence, Matt had returned to his bed. His posture was gracefully straight, a book lying across his lap beneath his fingers. If his stance hadn't clued you into his mood, the lenses now propped on the bridge of his nose had. Something was up, but you weren't in any state to handle both of your emotions right now. Foggy gave a weak smile, hopping back onto his bed.

“Matt pointed out that you might not want to think about homework all night. I actually rented some movies on my way home! I was thinking we could watch one.”

“That sounds fun, Fog. Matt are you–”

“No.” His answer was curt, pitched low. He must've sensed your surprise because the edges of his expression immediately softened. “I have a headache. Don't want to spoil the fun.”

“I'm sorry! We probably aren't helping. Did you want us to go to the lounge?” You asked, fingers grasping for your bag in case you needed to switch locations.

“No need. I'll put my headphones on if I need to.” Matt's lips flickered with the barest hint of a smile before settling back into the neutral expression he'd originally had on.

“Let us know if you change your mind, buddy.” Foggy chirped, opening his laptop. “Ok, bug. Take your pick.”

With a wave of one hand, Foggy displayed three DVD cases as if they were a winning poker hand. “We've got: National Treasure, Happy Feet, and The Ring.”

“What an eclectic bunch.” You snorted. “Scary movie first, Nick Cage last. We'll scream, cry, and laugh in that order.”

“Genius. She's a genius!” Foggy remarked, cracking the first plastic sleeve open. “This girl is going places, Murdock.”

Matt smirked, but said nothing, his fingers still dancing over the raised dots on the pages.

Lying on his side, one ear turned out to the rest of the room, Matt's own skin prickled sympathetically as you rolled over on the grimy carpet–each plastic fiber screeching as it dragged across your skin. The sound made him cringe, far too similar to fingernails on a chalkboard.

It was late. You and Foggy had indeed made it through all three movies, only pausing to run to the bathroom and the corner market for more snacks. Matt couldn't help but feel like he was intruding, eavesdropping on a sweet moment between friends and existing where he wasn't welcome. While Foggy was glued to his computer screen, your attention was sporadic, heart rate spiking whenever he so much as shifted on his bed.

You were paying more mind to him than the entertainment you were pretending to enjoy. Which was irritatingly amusing given how little you'd wanted to do with him recently. Something deep inside him was crying out in warning, telling him just how close you were to slipping through his fingers and disappearing forever. But how could he steady his grip when every pump of his heart had you spooking like a prey animal.

The rustling of fabric from your body on the floor nettled at his conscience. Your breathing was shallow, your vocal chords emitting small aggravated groans that should've been imperceptible, if Matt was a lucky man. Inches away from his bed, you were writhing in discomfort, lying awake just as he was—unlike Foggy who was snoring away, dead to the world. That couldn't be helping your frustration, it sure wasn't doing him any favors.

The tiniest of sighs slipped through your lips, wafting the scent of salt into his space. Frowning in concern, he set aside the pity party he'd been throwing himself and swallowed his nerves.

“Can't sleep?” His voice was barely a whisper, but you startled anyway, shooting up into a seated position.

“Christ, Matt.” You chuckled feebly.

“Language.” He joked, lips curving as you laughed again.

“Forgive me, Saint Matthew. I was taken by surprise. Thought you might be that little girl from the ring coming to get me.”

“Is my voice that feminine?“ He wrinkled his nose, feeling a bubble of pride when your heartbeat began to slow, his distractions working for now.

“No, but when you're expecting a ghost, everything seems ghastly.” You shuddered.

A jumble of words sat at the tip of his tongue, an accusation he needed to make if he wanted to get any rest tonight. It was as though you were expecting it, aware you'd done something wrong. Awaiting your punishment without a word.

“You don't have to sleep on the floor, you know. My mattress won't bite.” Avoiding confrontation for as long as he could, he attempted for another quip. Unfortunately, you'd picked up on his barely concealed aggravation, if your flinch was any indication.

Huffing out a laugh, you craned your neck to face him. “I know, Matt. But I'm not going to put you out like that. You didn't even know I was coming.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your heat?” He couldn't stop himself. He needed to know. He needed to understand why you were pushing him away.

“I mean, I only found out this afternoon–”

“I could’ve helped you report them.” He explained, still thoroughly confused.

“You still can!” Your muscles creaked as your arms tightened around your shins, instinctively defending yourself from his questioning.

“You just..showed up. And I had no idea what had happened.” His voice sounded hollow, even to him.

“I figured Fog would ask you, I'm sorry.” That was truthful, but it still didn't answer anything.

“So you're still avoiding me, then.” Your breath was cut short, fingers digging into your flesh. His own body was eerily still, trying to hold the immense guilt he'd been feeling back until the conversation was over. Until he knew what he'd done.

“Matt, I'm not—”

“No? Then why does it feel like you're trying to constantly escape me?” Snapping his mouth shut before his words revealed just how hurt he really was, he forced himself to take a deep breath.

“What are you—”

“When I hugged you earlier, you went all stiff. You’re clearly upset about something on your phone, but you refuse to tell me about it. And you keep calling me 'Matt'.” His throat constricted, fists clenching around his blankets.

“That's your name–” You reasoned desperately, but your heart gave you away. He wasn't crazy. It was deliberate.

“Not to you!” He hissed. Sitting up slowly, he dug the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to force the pain in his skull to subside. “You always..you used to call me Matty or trouble or bubs. Recently, I've just been Matt. I just..please tell me what I did so I can fix it?”

“Matt,” You sounded mournful. Defensive stance abandoned, you crept closer to his bed, falling into a sloppy heap beside him, still on the floor. “Trouble, you didn't do anything. I've been jumpy and in my head recently because of my own shit, not because of you.”

The steady thump of your pulse echoed in his ears. It didn't waver. Not once.

Blinking rapidly, Matt shoved his hands against his face again, this time to rub away the tears forming before you could see them.

Reaching one hand up, you brushed a knuckle against his rightmost calf. “I'm so sorry that I hurt you. It was not intentional. I care about you so much and I...” You trailed off, drawing in a ragged breath before speaking again. “I care about you. I always will.”

“I care about you too.” Tangling your hand with his, Matt ducked his head, feeling incredibly exposed. “You scared me.”

“I'm sorry.” There it was again. The consistent beat of your heart. Even as the patter of rain. He squeezed your fingers.

“I know.” Trailing a thumb over the back of your hand, he felt another icy current of fear in his veins. “And I’m serious about reporting your building. We can always host you but what if you get snowed in or something? If you’re stuck there with no heat..I don’t want that to happen to you, bug. I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

Grabbing his bed frame with your free hand, you hauled yourself up and onto his mattress, collapsing into his open arms. “I'm sorry.”

“Don't be. I've already forgiven you. But I just needed you to know that it matters. That you matter.”

“Fuck, trouble. You're gonna make me cry harder than that stupid bird movie.” You laughed, the puffs of air tickling his neck as they left your lungs.

“That one did seem especially sad.” He hummed.

“Don't know why they had to rip my fuckin' heart out. Seems a little unnecessary.” You scoffed, body slowly melting against him as he rubbed circles over your back.

“Definitely unnecessary.” He agreed, loosening his grip on you. “You should get some sleep before classes tomorrow.”

He started to unwind from you, intending to take your place on the floor, but you caught his waist with your arms, tipping you both onto the mattress. “If I'm not sleeping on the floor, neither are you, bubba.”

With a single hand, you grabbed the spare blanket off the floor, moving away from him as you bundled yourself up, a happy exhale tumbling out of you as you relaxed into the cocoon. Though you seemed to have worked through whatever mental block had existed before, Matt wasn't quite convinced.

“Are you sure? I don't want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You wouldn't.” Was your sleepy response. “Besides, if that little bitch crawls out of Foggy's computer screen, she can take you first.”

A startled laugh escaped him and he shook his head. “Sure she can, bug. Sleep well.”

“You too, Matty.”

Taglist: @eugene-emt-roe @abbyhaslongshorts @mrs-bellingham @abucketofweird @yeonalie @spider-murdock @0ctober-writes @danzer8705 @supervoldejaygent @dorothleah @zomtart @marytheweefrenchie @cheshirecat484 @siampie @silas-aeiou @rev-glut @screechingphantommaker @spiderstyles04 @paradox-brody-chase @blue-devil-of-the-lord @pigeonmama @yarrystyleeza @cometenthusiast @harleycao

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acourtofthought · 9 months ago

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I find Lucien's story to be set up in such a tragically beautiful way.

Cassian, Rhys, Az. They are over centuries old and while they hadn't yet found their mates in all that time, while they weren't entirely sure they existed, I imagine they still had hope. They wondered if it would ever happen to them, if they'd find her and though they at times were probably left feeling as if they never would, there was a small part of them that believed it was still possible (something Cassian confirms when he says deep down he was holding out for a bond and Az who according to Rhys still wondered why a bond between he and Mor hadn't yet snapped).

But Lucien spent centuries thinking his chance at that kind of love was taken from him. He believed he had her and lost her to death and that was it, there would be no possible love for him that would be greater than marriage, a gift from the Mother. No way to love someone so much that even if one didn't snap immediately, he thought it was a real possibility that it someday would because he already knew he'd had that one chance and it slipped through his fingers.

Lucien has spent centuries without even that kernel of hope that the others had.

Then one day his mating bond did snap and with it a torrent of emotions. Guilt and a sense of betrayal to the memory of Jesminda but maybe, the first hope he's had in centuries of the ability to actually love again. To feel he might be allowed to open his heart to another because he knows mating bonds are a gift.

Only to be left hopeless once more upon the realization that Elain was in love with someone else, that she wanted to marry someone else. So he sets off on what is essentially a suicide mission because what else is there for him but to sacrifice himself for the greater good, to show that he believes in Elain's vision and will do what he can to help them win this war. Not because there's anything left for him to personally fight for, he has no home, he's once again left without love, his closest friendships are in a tenuous state.

Then that spark of hope is reignited at the end of ACOWAR when Elain chooses to walk with Feyre and him rather than staying behind. When she peers up at him and invites him to come to Velaris.

Only to .......... well, we know the rest.

I believe that SJM has written Lucien's arc this way because only the best things are in his future but his story so far is so unbearably tragic to me. This is a male who continues trying to move forward despite having lost all hope. Who, the moment he sees a flicker in the darkness has it suddenly taken away yet he keeps going. He helps those around him regardless of feeling it is of any benefit to him. He helps those in Spring despite them not truly being his people. He helps the NC despite them not truly being his people. He helps those in the human lands despite them not truly being his people.

To me, THIS is why Lucien is the King of Men of the ACOTAR series. Everything he does is to the benefit of others despite getting very little in return. He gives and takes nothing, expects nothing.

When an author writes them like that?? Yeah, Lucien is not going to be getting some second-rate love story. He's going to be part of Feyre's family as her brother-in-law (SJM isn't on record talking about the crazy chemistry of their friendship for nothing), he's going to be High Lord. And he's going to get the girl.

#pro elucien #elucien #pro lucien vanserra #lucien vanserra #lucien supremacy #high king lucien #lucien acotar

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blossomwritesthings · 8 months ago

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𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐥𝐮𝐞. | 𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐨𝐩𝐬 & 𝐰𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐬

⬷ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬

pairing: felix x fem!reader (afab) // chan x fem!reader (afab)

genre: nonidol/collegegrad!felix. waitress!reader. college au. hurt/comfort. angst. fluff. smut - MDNI, 18+ only. reader pov. friends to enemies to lovers au. slowburn romance. lots of pining. cheating. abusive boyfriend/ex. drama galore. the sexual tension is REAL in this one.

content & warnings: brief depictions of violence/a person getting jumped, and the aftermath of that. smut that includes: unprotected sex, breast play, dirty talk, riding, slight breeding kink, creampie, lots of making out, y/n and felix are basally two switches in this ngl. please take care in reading.

word count: 6.2k

summary: ever since you were born, all you've ever known is living a simple life in the small australian coastal town of bridgeport bay. you're content with working at your parent's beachside restaurant angel waves for the rest of your life, and you're happy with your place in the world - you have good friends and an even better boyfriend. that is, until everything comes to a standstill when a familiar face from the past visits town for the summer. and in the wake of his return, lee felix upturns everything you thought you were content with here in your comforting little beach town.

a/n: you guys, I swear to GOD that I did not fucking forget about this fic!!! 💀 trust me, I see all of the msgs and comments in my inbox across my platforms. I've just been too busy and tired from my daily life to keep up with writing much these days. on top of that, I don't feel particularly inclined to write straight-coupled smut rn. plus, my long-distance girlfriend just left from her weekend visit, so besides uni and work, she's been keeping me quite busy. 🤭 anyways, I hope ya'll enjoyed the end of this small series of mine, and thanks for all of the love you guys have shown it over the past year~!! 💗

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ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ʀᴇᴘᴏsᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴏᴛʜᴇʀ sɪᴛᴇs (ᴛʜɪs ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇs ᴛʀᴀɴsʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴs). do not copy, spin-off, or write inspired work based off of this fanfic without full permission to do so. ©ʙʟᴏssᴏᴍᴡʀɪᴛᴇsᴛʜɪɴɢs ⤐ ᴀʟʟ ʀɪɢʜᴛs ʀᴇsᴇʀᴠᴇᴅ

The worst thing about the next two weeks after your moment with Felix in his bedroom was that the entire time, Chris didn’t even reach out once.

There were no calls, no texts, no emails, no letters.

Just… nothing.

And that hurt the most out of everything else.

Pretty soon after your night spent over at Felix’s house, you came to terms with the end of the relationship. With the cheating and all the other shit.

But the one thing you couldn’t shake was the fact that there was complete radio silence on his end.

He didn’t even try to fight for you.

Didn’t even do his very best to get you back.

Instead, he just kept living his life, while he continued to fuck your best friend.

Yeji, on the other hand, had texted and called you at least a dozen times. None of which, you replied to.

She was acting like you two were in a romantic relationship. Like she was Chris in the situation.

It took her showing up to Angel Waves on a busy Friday night to finally be your breaking point. You were fed up with her bullshit. What ensued was a huge blowup between the two of you at the front of the restaurant.

But mostly, it was just you screaming. You who was the one who yelled at the top of your lungs, the tears pricking at the corners of your eyes.

For the most part, Yeji stayed silent. Just standing there and taking the brunt of all your hatred and disgust. And finally, when you told her you guys were done… that the friendship was officially over, that’s when she started to protest.

Soon, she was yanking on your hands, begging you to ‘not do this,’ and to ‘think it over some because-‘ But you had heard enough. From the moment you saw that long-ass text thread between her and your boyfriend, it had been over.

And just like that, the friendship was broken, and you were having your father escort her out of AW. Before you knew it, he was telling her never to come back again, and never to grace the doorstep of your house, otherwise he’d press charges. Since you had told your parents about the breakup and everything else that had happened along the way, they were fully on board with protecting you from the people who had hurt you so much.

Thankfully, Yeji didn’t go any further. As quickly as she had shown up at the front door of Angel Waves, she was gone. Forever. Good riddance to her, you said to yourself as you watched her walk down the side of the restaurant and towards the parking lot.

Perhaps the worst part about those two weeks after the breakup was the fact that you hardly got to see Felix. Between you grieving the relationship alone late at night in your room, studying homework, and waitressing at AW, you hardly had any free time to yourself to reach out to him.

But because Felix was… well, Felix, he made it a point to text you every single morning and night. Checking up on you and letting you know he was always there, rooting for you. That his door was always open in case you wanted to talk.

And for the most part, you found that you were doing okay. You wanted to be left alone in your thoughts. At least, for a little while. Yet, late at night, when your eyes were puffy from crying and your throat was scratchy, you’d look out of your bedroom window and watch the dark tidal waves ripple in the distance.

The changes in the blue colors of the ocean felt like your feelings throughout that time. One moment they were crystal clear, the next they were the deepest shade of cerulean. Through it all, you were lucky to have Felix by your side. Silently supporting you from afar.

That’s why, when Han Jisung showed up one random Thursday night to Angel Waves during a lull, you were confused out of your mind. He had already been served and was chowing down on a huge burger and fries. When you walked up to him, already smoothing down your apron and dress, he didn’t even pay you any attention.

“Uhm- Ji, what the fuck are you doing here?” You asked incredulously. Because although you guys were friends, he hadn’t frequented the restaurant much, quoting that it was ‘much too bougie for his taste.’

At the sound of your voice, he looked up from his plate and flashed you a wide grin just as he stuffed a couple of fries into his mouth. “Goddamn- this shit is good… did you know that, Y/N?” He laughed as he took another bite out of the burger.

Rolling your eyes at him, you looked around the restaurant to make sure you weren’t needed elsewhere before you sat down in the booth’s seat across from him. “Yeah, because my parents own the fucking place.” You deadpanned, raising an eyebrow his way as he grinned at you from behind his burger. “But I don’t think you came here tonight to devour a burger. So… what’s up?”

He took a swig of his chilled bottle of coke before finally answering your prodding. “Did you know that Chris is in the hospital right now?”

And just like that, your entire world stopped.

Everything came to a standstill.

The noise, hustle and bustle. The energy flowing throughout Angel Waves honed down to a single point as you focused on Jisung’s words.

Because… what, the actual, fuck?

Leaning forward in your seat slowly, you could feel your heart beat wildly against your ribcage as your eyes grew in shock. “I’m sorry- what?”

Jisung shrugged nonchalantly like this news was completely mind-blowing. “Yeah, Jeongin texted me last night, guess he visited him in the ER yesterday. Rumor has it he got jumped or something…” Then he was leaning forward too, eyes floating around the room before locking onto yours and dropping his voice down into a whisper. “But c’mon, a jump in Bridgeport? No fucking way. My bet is, he got mixed up in the wrong crowd involving drugs or some shit.”

“Chris. Got. Jumped.” You said slowly, shaking your head in disbelief as your mind started spinning with millions of thoughts. But the one that came to the forefront, you blurted out immediately. “How bad is it? It must be pretty horrible if it landed him in the ER.”

Jisung was busy stuffing his face with more burger and talked between chewing. “Beats me- Jeongin mentioned something about a few broken bones and some really bad cuts, but I’m sure that fucker will survive no problem.” Since everything that had happened between you and Chris within the past few weeks, Jisung had also cut all ties with him and officially hated his guts. “Serves him right, honestly, from the kind of freakish shit he pulled with you and Yeji…”

After that, Jisung kept talking. But you couldn’t hear him, couldn’t pay attention to him any longer.

Because all you could think about was what Felix had told you a few days prior. How he had to go out of town for the weekend to complete some “interviews” for a dance instructor position he was interested in. He had mentioned something about it being a few hours away, but so suddenly, everything was clicking.

How he told you not to worry if he didn’t reply to your calls and texts.

How he said he’d be back late at night that Wednesday.

You were shooting up from your seat after that, checking the current time on your phone. It read just a little past eleven at night. Hopefully, Felix was still up. Hopefully, he was home.

When Jisung noticed you moving away from the table, he grabbed ahold of your hand to stop you in your tracks. “Where are you going?”

“I think I know who did it.” You began, giving him the look. Jisung’s eyes searched your entire face, and for a moment, you automatically knew when it clicked in his mind. When it registered, with stark clarity.

“He did what he had to do.”

“It’s fucking illegal, Ji.”

Shrugging nonchalantly for the second time that night, Jisung took a dainty sip of his coke. “I mean, if it was me- Chris wouldn’t even be alive at this point.”

You pushed on his shoulder, scoffing lowly. “Well then, good thing you’re not in the same position.” And with that, you were fleeing from the restaurant entirely, ripping off your apron and throwing it on a nearby barstool as you made your way out the back entrance.

Felix’s house rose against the horizon in the distance. You broke out into a run, turning breathless fairly quickly from the adrenaline and worry running through your veins. As you got closer to the white-wooden paneled house, you noticed how most of the lights were switched off.

Save for the one in his bedroom.

Taking in a deep breath of relief, you made to climb up the porch and hoist open his bedroom window. Just like he had taught you all those years ago when you’d sneak into his bedroom after curfew during high school.

The fucking pane wasn’t even unlocked - figured, since he trusted the police officers a little too much in Bridgeport - and soon, you were climbing through the window and sitting down at the edge of his bed.

The nearby bathroom light was on, the warmth radiating from the crack of the door near the floorboards, and you could hear water running just behind the door.

Holding your breath, your hands twisted together with your nervousness. The air suddenly felt so fucking stifling and warm, yet you could feel the gooseflesh running down the lengths of your bare arms as you sat there.

Perhaps you shouldn’t have worn such a thin white tank top when it was on the chillier side of a summer night. Looking down, you realize just how short your ripped shorts were. They rode up your thighs as you sat there across his bed, and you hastily pulled them down to save some form of modesty.

Before you could fix up any other part of yourself, the bathroom door was swinging open and the trapped light was flooding across the entire dimly-lit bedroom. The warmth cascaded across your skin, and when you looked up from the ground, Felix was illuminated by it.

He was… shirtless.

With… messy, dripping wet hair and a pair of loose black sweatpants haphazardly thrown on.

“Y/N- uh, what are you doing here?” He asked hesitantly, running his hands through the back of his hair in the way he always did when he was taken aback. “I just got back from a swim, I didn’t-“

“Is it true?”

“Is… what true?” He raised a dark, perfectly manicured eyebrow your way as he neared his desk. Reaching out, he squirted out a tiny bit of lotion onto his delicate fingers and gently patted the product onto his skin.

“The fact that Chris is in the fucking hospital right now.”

“Oh. That,” he didn’t even seem surprised to hear your words, meaning that he had already heard about it. He rubbed a small amount of emulsion onto his cheeks before flashing you with a tiny grin, staring at you through the mirror. “Minho told me this morning. Heard it’s pretty bad.”

“Show me your hands, Felix.” You said, voice low and icy against your tongue. For a moment, Felix stopped his movements at the desk. He just stared at you from the mirror that was hung on the wall in front of it. And when he made no sign of moving, of heeding your words, you pressed again. “Felix. Show me your fucking hands.”

Felix raised an eyebrow your way, as he closed the bottle of lotion and placed it back on its glass holder atop his desk. “I’m at no liberty to do what you say. You can’t tell me what to do, angel… As much as you probably want to.”

The way the pet name sounded coming from his mouth did something funny to your insides just then. The way it twisted around his tongue and came out softly yet a little bit harsh, too, twisted up everything inside of you and made you want to scream out loud.

But you didn’t know if you wanted to scream at him, or for him.

And before your heart could catch up to what your brain was doing, you were standing up from the bed and your legs were stretching across the floor. The length between the desk and bed frame wasn’t long. And before you knew it, you were just beside Felix, taking ahold of his hands and bringing them into your line of vision.

They were…

Bruised.

Badly cut.

And various shades of violent reds and purples.

Half of his hands were bandaged up, the other halves were completely open.

“Felix… what-”

Yanking his hands out of your hold, he ran them through his unruly blonde locks, sighing heavily. “He’s lucky I didn’t fucking kill his sorry ass. I almost did, that night on the highway- when I saw him hit you like that.”

Reaching out, you grabbed onto one of his hands again and squeezed it slowly. “You could go to jail for this, Lix. Chris- he’ll… he’ll press charges. You know he will.” Your voice sounded strained and desperate. And you could feel the tears pricking at the corners of your vision at the sheer thought of it all.

Of Felix going and seeking out your ex just so he could beat him to a pulp so much, he landed the fucker in the hospital.

Because no, not your Lee Felix.

Not the boy who was known throughout elementary middle and high school as the sweetest human in the entire world.

Not the boy who couldn’t hurt a fly.

Not your sweet, pretty… Felix.

Shaking his head slowly, Felix’s eyes met yours through the reflection in the mirror. “He won’t press charges, trust me. I made sure to fuck him up enough that he wouldn’t. Chris is too much of a coward to ever show his face around these parts again.” He flashed you an easy grin, squeezing your hand faintly in reassurance.

And you actually believed him.

Because if it had been bad enough to land Chris in the hospital, and leave such nasty wounds and scars across Felix’s entire hands, you were pretty sure your ex would never face either of you again.

“But… why? I don’t understand why you’d do something like that?” You began, getting choked up again. Chest heaving slightly, you leaned into his side, breath hitching in the pit of your throat at just the thought of Felix being taken away from your side because of a stupid fight and breakup. “Why would you do it when you know the risks? I can’t fucking lose you, Felix, I- not again. Please.”

At that, Felix was turning completely. So that he was facing you. And then he was pulling you towards him, wrapping his arms around your waist as you buried your face in his bare chest. His warm skin against your lips lit a fire in the pit of your stomach, but at that moment, you couldn’t see or think about anything past your tears. That were steadily flowing down your face.

“I’m not leaving you, Y/N. I’ve done that once, I promised you I wouldn’t do it again.” He said in a soft voice, as he carded a few fingers through your hair in a soothing gesture.

“Why? Why did you do it?” You cried out softly, nestling your face into his naked skin. Your body was seeking out any kind the warmth, from the way that the fright was wrapping around all of your senses in that moment.

For a few beats, everything was silent. The only sound in the entire bedroom was your quiet sniffles. And Felix’s breathing. Then, he spoke in that deep voice of his. “Because I care, angel. A little too much, it would seem. I care way too much to sit idly by and let a man like that walk this earth without having any consequences.”

“Us breaking up was a punishment enough.”

You could sense Felix shaking his head above you, as he held you close to his half-clothed form. “No. He never deserved you, from the very beginning. That’s why I got so angry- on graduation night. Because you couldn’t see what I saw in him… which was absolutely nothing.” As he spoke, you could feel him tensing against you. And only then, did you realize that the tears had stopped. And instead of listening to your sobs, you were listening to what he was telling you. “I couldn’t stand the thought of seeing you with him when I knew he was a horrible fucking person. I couldn’t stand the thought of hearing you talk about him on our calls once I went to Korea. I couldn’t stand the thought of any of it. That’s why I cut everything off.”

Moving away from his chest just slightly, you stared up at him and met his gaze. “You could’ve told me all of this, you know. And I would’ve understood.”

Raising a noncommittal eyebrow down at you, he scoffed lowly. “Really, Y/N? Because your actions from the past say something very differently.”

And without even thinking about it, you were raising your hands, brushing a few strands of his loose blonde hair behind his ears. “Yes, really. Because I love you and I value your opinion so fucking much.”

“No, don’t say that.”

Felix’s words came out deathly quiet, making your heart stop beating in the pit of your chest for a few seconds. Frowning in confusion, you pressed your lips together in a displeased line. “What do you-”

“Don’t say you love me, because we both know that if you did- you never would’ve been with him in the first place,” Felix said slowly, in a breathless kind of way. But despite his words, he was already moving slowly. Hands reaching up, his slender fingers tracing the line of your jaw. Eyes watching the way you breathed out in a shuttering kind of way at the movement.

“So tell me that you don’t. Tell me that you don’t love me.” He continued, even as his hand was slipping behind your neck and his other hand was finding its way onto your hip. He yanked you a little closer to his form.

Swallowing down a mixture of a moan and scream, you met his gaze. And there, you found a myriad of emotions. His eyes were hooded and searching, as they wandered across your face, picking up on every one of your emotions. There, you found love and… desire, too.

“I love you, Lee Felix.”

“That’s not what I told you to say. That’s the opposite, actually.” He said in a gravelly voice, the sound of it rumbling out of his chest and cascading down your entire body.

Shrugging just a tiny bit, you offered him a sly kind of smirk. “Guess it’s opposite day then- because I-”

Instead of words, his mouth was the thing that cut you off next.

The kiss was so abrupt and sudden, that your brain had hardly any time to process it. Then, all of a sudden, you were melting into the feeling of it all. Of his lips pressed against yours, fervently seeking you out. You nearly fell into his arms, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was holding onto your waist with one hand, and the other was wrapped in your locks at the nape of your neck.

“F-Felix-” You moaned out softly in the split second that he pulled away to allow you time to breathe. Then his mouth was back on yours with a searing vengeance, as his tongue prodded at the line of your lips.

And just like that, you let him in. His warm tongue slipped between your teeth and soon you were exploring each other’s tastes in a heated, frenzied kind of way. Almost like, without the two of you even realizing it, your mouths had been craving each other from day one.

Felix pulled on your hair a little bit harder after that, tilting your head back just enough as his lips parted from yours. And when you were about to protest from the lack of his mouth, he trailed his head downward, making a path of gentle kisses down the side of your cheek, across the line of your jaw, and towards the column of your neck.

When he stopped just above your breastbone, where the top of your ruffled tank top started, he stared up at you with wide, imploring eyes. “Too much?” He asked in the gentlest of voices you had ever heard come from a man.

But already, you found yourself shaking your head vehemently. “No- never.” So you let him take control. You let him move you two backward until he was sitting down on the edge of the bed and you were cradling his hips with either of your legs, sitting atop his lap.

“I’ve wanted you like this for so fucking long, I don’t even know what to do with all of the thoughts I have right now…” He whispered, hands coming up to your shoulders and massaging the skin there.

You dipped into his presence, pressing a few feverish kisses against his lips. “It’s okay- I can tell you what to do,” you mumbled in between kisses, tasting him and catching his scent of body wash and salt water. “Take off my top, Lixie.”

And surprisingly, he did what he was told. Soon, he was helping you shed your white tank until you were down to your light purple bralette. Sitting there, on his lap, you watched all the emotions dance across his brilliant face. “You’re so fucking beautiful- I have no words anymore-” He mumbled, eyes roving across your half-exposed chest and catching on the way that your hands stretched behind your back.

Soon, you were unclasping your bralette and throwing it off to the side. You stared back at Felix, your gazes locking. Almost like, he couldn’t bear to move his focus anymore downwards. Like if he did, the moment between you would break and he’d wake up and realize all of it was but a mere dream on the horizon.

“Kiss me, Felix,” you whispered, but the deep, cloying tenderness of your voice suggested to both of you that you weren’t talking about your lips. And just like that, he was leaning forward, beginning to pepper featherlight kisses down the column of your neck and onwards.

Carding your hands through his damp, shaggy blonde hair, you pushed his face a little closer to your skin, guiding his mouth until his lips were hovering over your chest. Then he was looking up at you again, eyes gaping wide open almost like he was asking for permission yet again. If he didn’t get the all-clear from you for the millionth time that night, the entire thing would be ruined.

“Open up, baby,” is all you said in a soft voice. The whispery sound of it floated out into the darkness of the room, wrapping around the two of you just as Felix did what he was told. Like a good boy.

Unhinging his jaw just the tiniest of bits, he easily fit his lips around one of your pebbled nipples. And like magic, like some devilish sex faerie took ahold of his mind, he was sucking on your skin within the next breath. Sucking so good, soon you were throwing your head back in pure ecstasy. Fingers wrapping around his blonde locks a little more, you pushed his face closer to your form.

His teeth grazed your goose-flesh skin, licking every part of you that he could get his mouth on. And when he came up for air, the sound of saliva popping off of your cool tit, Felix was smiling a devious kind of smirk. “Your skin tastes so fucking good…” Then he was eyeing your other nipple, that had been left untouched as of yet.

Peering down at him with a slightly raised brow, you moved across his hips. The single shift in position made him groan out loud in pure agony, a tinge of crimson bursting across his cheeks as you ground down against the hardness between his legs. “Then why the hell did you stop, Lexie?”

And just like before, he was heeding your words. His mouth came around your other pert bud, sucking and licking and kissing. Meanwhile, his hands were busy roaming across your entire body… tweaking your other nipple, grasping onto your hip before skirting up the length of your spine. The entire time, you slowly moved your waist against his, feeling the tent growing just beneath the thin fabric of his black sweatpants.

Each time you danced a little bit closer to where you needed him most, he let out a string of filthy groans against your skin. Your movements prompted him to suck even harder, to drawl out as many heavy sighs as he could from deep inside your chest. His bare chest heaved with breath, as he rarely came up for hair. Muscled pecks and abdomen flexed, constricting every time you edged him a little bit closer to the edge.

When it finally became too much for him, he was pushing away from your wet, pebbled tits. “N-Need to be inside you, right fucking now.” He was practically whining, in that deep voice of him. It was really adorable if you were to be truly honest with yourself. “Please… need to… I need to…”

But the words didn’t make it out of his mouth in time. Instead, you were pressing up into his space, imprinting kiss after heated kiss to his swollen lips. And when you were done, you pulled away just slightly to tuck a lock of messy blonde hair behind his ear. “What do you need right now… baby? Tell me, and I’ll give it to you.”

“Need to fuck you,” he started, breathing heaving so deeply that his shoulders shuttered with it. Sparkly eyes peering up at you with a wide, deer-in-the-headlights kind of resemblance. “Need to breed you- fuck you raw, for Christ’s sake…”

He said the last of his words with a kind of venom you had never heard from him. Almost like…

“Felix… are you, jealous?”

Surprise dawned across his entire face then, as the crimson of his cheeks only deepened the freckles smattered across his skin. “W-What? No! Why would you even-”

“Lee. Felix. Are you mad that Chris got to fuck me raw?”

“Well now, how could I be when I don’t know if-”

A tiny smirk started to pull your lips upwards, as you said “Oh no, we definitely did. Most of the time, actually.”

Utter shock burst across his face at your confession. And for a few moments, you felt somewhat embarrassed. To admit such an intimate detail about your sex life with your longtime boyfriend. Especially to the best friend you had known since you were a little girl.

Flabbergasted for a few seconds, Felix raised a finger in the air in a snooty kind of way. “First of all, that is incredibly risky. Second-”

“And like you wanting to do it now isn’t incredibly risky and dangerous too?”

Your snarky comeback threw his argument right back into his court. And he glared your way, rolling his glittering eyes dramatically. “Okay, but this is fucking different. I’m not gonna-”

“Cheat on me with my best friend and then slap me across the face when I try to break up with you?”

“God- will you let me finish, woman?!”

You liked riling him up. It was fun and you had always taken great pleasure in it, ever since you were a young child. So you sat back a little bit, pushing away from his hips somewhat and folding your arms across your bare chest. “I mean yes- eventually, I am gonna let you finish tonight. But okay, make your argument.”

Running a frustrated hand through his silky, damp hair, Felix’s eyes searched the room for the words he wanted to say. “I don’t wanna fuck you because I think you’re easy and then I’m gonna be done with you after tonight. I wanna be with you because I fucking love you. I have, since day one. Since we were little kids, I had a raging crush that grew into an uncontrollable fire and then into a monster.” By then, he was staring right back at you again. Gazes locked, it was like he was searching into the depths of your very soul. You could see so many emotions written across his face then… love, anger, passion… “The only reason I wanna- wanna come inside is because I wanna make sure you know you’re mine and that I’m yours.”

For a few beats, everything was completely silent. Save for the heavy breathing on both of your ends.

Then, a sly kind of grin was flashing across your face as your hands hastily made their way down to your hips, ripping off your shorts at record speed. Way faster than your fingers had ever done in the entire time that you had been intimate with Chris.

And before you could even say anything, before any words were even spoken between the two of you after Felix’s passionate tyraid of love, you felt movement underneath you.

Between your legs, you could feel hands moving. Across your thighs, they danced- spreading, opening, caressing. Until they were pressed up to your very centre, drawling a loud moan from you as they played around your clit. In mere seconds, Felix was slipping two digits into you, opening you up gradually.

“Fuck, your pussy is stretching so nicely for me…” He grunted, leaning into you and pressing feverish kisses to your lips. He bit down on your bottom lip just slightly, and each time he hit his fingers up into that gooey spot inside of you, you swore you saw stars. “Gonna be fun to fuck this tight, pretty thing.”

You twirled your hips across his fingers, shivering in pure bliss each time his thumb caressed your enflamed bundle of nerves. “L-Lix… I… need…” But all semblance of forming words fled from your body entirely, as the heat of arousal overtook your entire form.

“You need me, hmm?” Felix mused in a deep voice, the one he knew drove you up the fucking wall in a subtle kind of way. “Okay then.” He said, and soon, his hands were yanking away from your cunt altogether, as he pushed his sweatpants down and off of his hips.

In mere seconds, he had his fingers gripping your bare ass, nails digging into the flesh there as he helped move you into position. Holding your breath after that, feeling it widen across the expanse of your ribcage, you slowly began to sink onto his cock, which was glistening with precum. The tip sunk in with ease, and when you finally sunk to the base, a deep wave of pleasure ran across the length of your spine.

He was a lot bigger than you had originally thought, and you could feel the tip of him reaching into the very depths of you as he slowly helped guide you back up his length.

“Shit- you feel so goddamn amazing, princess…” Felix panted out loud in a thick tone, and with that, he was gripping your hips and helping you sink back down onto his cock with keen precision.

With each movement of your hips, he thrust up into you, nails digging into your ass cheeks while you leaned into him, grasping onto his chiseled pecks with the force of each long drawl you took. Nothing else needed to be said between you, as you focused in on the passion that was both thrumming through your veins.

Every hit of his cock up into your tightness made the blood in your body boil, and each breath that you took through your constricted lungs brought you a little closer to that blissful cliffside. You cracked your eyes open just a tiny bit to watch Felix’s gaze. The way it was serious and pointed towards the point where your bodies met.

The sounds of skin slapping against skin, of your wetness mixing with his girth, almost sent you over the edge countless times. And each time he sheathed himself back inside of you, you could feel his length growing tighter.

“I-I’m really close, Lix- fuck…” You cried out in a broken tone, throwing your head back as you danced ravenously across his lap. His tip reached up so far into you, that you could practically feel it in your tummy.

Felix shuttered in a deep, cloying breath. And when your eyes widened to focus on him again, he was smirking up at you. Pearly white teeth flashing against red lips, he made to kiss you through the wave of pent-up arousal that was flooding your entire system. “Let go for me, my perfect, pretty princess… it’s okay, you can cum around my cock. I don’t mind.” His words made your eyes cross a little bit in bliss.

And just like that, your body was moving on its own accord. Thigh trembling around his hips, a strangled kind of scream ripped free from the deepest parts of your soul. Within seconds, you were crashing down from your high, the orgasm lighting every part of your closed vision. Otherworldly visions and galaxies splashed across your mind, taking you to another place as you rode through your high.

The entire time, Felix soothed you with beautiful words of praise. And when it was finally time for him to cum, you were only pushed further over the edge of your orgasm. The feeling of him shooting himself deep inside of you made your eyes cross and made you bite your lip in pure ecstasy.

“Goddamn- your pussy feels so fucking good pulsing around my cock like that- milking me dry-” Felix was spewing half-nonsense as he rode out his own high, thrusting up into you and fucking the cum back between your walls. You were incredibly glad that you hadn’t used anything for protection because you knew that your first time with Felix wouldn’t have felt as special if there was plastic between the two of you.

When the two of you finally came down from your highs, it was only a matter of time before Felix was pulling out of you. Groaning at the absence of him, he positioned the two of you so that you were both lying down on his bed.

“Was that… too much?” He asked, turning onto his side to peer into your eyes.

Mimicking his posture, you traced a few fingers across his freckled cheeks which were still warm to the touch from arousal. “Baby, no. It was perfect because you’re perfect.”

He giggled like a little schoolboy at that, grabbing ahold of your waist and yanking you close to his form. He brought his face close to yours, whispering in the lightest of voices, “I’m so lucky to have you in my life again. From the moment we first time, I never wanted to be parted from you, Y/N.”

“You’re the best thing to ever happen to me, Felix.” You murmured, just as he leaned in to press fleeting kiss after kiss against your lips. Then you were pulling away from his affection, offering him a smirk. “Now help me clean myself up.”

“Why? You don’t wanna carry my baby?” He was pretending to be offended, furrowing his brow and frowning in a sardonic kind of way.

Punching his bare shoulder playfully, you rolled your eyes in only a slight bit of annoyance. “Not right now, stupid.”

“Okay, but that leaves the future up for interpretation…”

For a few seconds, you let the silence fade between you. And you could feel the tiny smile crack across the corners of your lips as the realization entered Felix’s mind. That quite possibly, one day, when the two of you were much older, you’d want to carry his babies.

Then, in the blink of an eye, he was grasping your hands and pulling you up from the bed. Leading you open to the bathroom with a bright grin flashing across his lips. “Let’s get you cleaned up, princess.”

And you let him take the lead.

You let him, knowing in the back of your mind that no matter what- he would always have your back.

No matter how much time you spent apart and how much shit happened between the interim.

He had always been the only person there for you, and we would continue to be for the rest of eternity.

Through thick and thin.

First, as a best friend.

And second, as a partner and the love of your life.

Fin.

🌊 taglist: want to be added onto my taglist? well then, comment below on this post/reblog it, and indicate your interest in my taglist and i'll add you... or, you can send me a msg and request to be added!! to be removed from the taglist, please send me a msg and i will promptly take you off of the list.

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greenpurplemylove · 5 months ago

Text

Just Us Two (PJS)🌊

→ masterlist; part 1, part 3.

→ pairings: non idol!jay x female!reader

→ synopsis: skinny dipping at the beach with Jay, post making out at your apartment.

→ genre: friends to lovers! college au, hella suggestive(MDNI), fluff.

-> now playing: Birds Of A Feather, Billie Eilish.

→ warnings: suggestive themes and ending, kissing, swearing, and skinny dipping. if you're a minor pls be mindful of yourselves and scroll. lemme know if I missed anything luvs🫶

→ AN: this is part 2 from my series, yeyy, I do suggest you guys to read the first part to provide some context of what's going on in this story and y'all I'm rly sorry this took awhile cause I rly just kept changing the ideas. I hope y'all enjoy🎀

-> word count: 6,3k.

🌊

The flickering light poll above you illuminated the parking lot around you, its dim light dipped into the front seat of Jay’s car. The smell of hamburgers and greasy fries filled in the scent inside as you chuckled.

Too immersed in each other’s stories to notice the distant hum of the drive-thru speaker and the occasional sounds of cars passing by. He choked a little on his soda, containing his grin as you made a joke about one of your lecturers.

“Y/n, that’s terrible.” he coughed as he put down his drink on the cup holders of his door. You shrugged your shoulders with a grin as you mumbled to yourself. The air inside the car felt comfortable, familiar and safe, it felt like a place where no one could judge you or jay’s actions. A similar feeling you’ve felt all through out your friendship with jay.

“Yeah, maybe you’re right.” you admitted as you both continued to laugh for a while.

As moments started to pass a wave of silence slowly washed over the two of you as you took a few bites of your fries, watching through the corners of your eyes as cars passed through the drive-thru.

Both of you exchanged glances every now and then, smiles plastered on to your faces, trying to come up with something to say to each other, but failed either way.

Leading to more silence as time seemed to pass by slower, melting into a semi comfortable silence.

There was definitely still some awkward tension in the mix probably due to the fact that a few hours ago you made out with Jay beside your bathroom sink.

But, you were thankful for the familiar and comfortable silence that washed along his car. It made your shoulders a lot less tense than if you were to go on a date with a complete stranger right now.

You glanced at him as he continued to take a bite of his burger, eyes gazing out the window as he did.

You noticed how mesmerizing the side of his face looked like under the poorly lighted parking lot. Even with such poor lighting, he managed to look so handsome; his dark doe eyes gleamed under the moonlight, his cheeks puffed up from the amount of food he was chewing and his lips pouted in concentration as he did.

You smiled to yourself as you took a bite of your own burger, the sound of cars honking in the distance made you snap your gaze away from him momentarily.

“By the way.” Jay broke the silence making you turn your gaze back to him.

“What do you want to do after this?” he asked as he licked his lips and brushed his thumb over the corner of his lips.

“Honestly, I have no idea.” you uttered lowly as you swallowed your food, struggling to think of a specific place. “But I definitely don’t wanna go back to my place yet.”

“I mean unless you want to of course.” you rushed to say when you saw the mixed reaction Jay had on his face. He only let out a sigh through his grin, glancing at his shoes before looking up to flash you a nervous smile.

“I don’t think I’d want to do something you wouldn’t want to do.” he smiled up at you as his gaze slowly drifted from you, his ears turning into a rather pinkish shade as he took another sip of his soda making you smile, feeling the blood rush up to your cheeks.

You were thankful that he’d always been the understanding person. He’s always been able to make you feel comfortable and relieved in situations where you think feeling them in that moment felt impossible. He was one of those people that made you feel like you were never alone and that there are always people you could lean your back on to.

Just like tea with sugar in it, he was warm, sweet, and kind. Always available when you needed somebody to talk to and always the last person to judge you for your actions.

You feel yourself relax every time the warmth and sweetness of it hits the roof of your mouth. Just like how your muscles would relax the moment it was just you and him, everything that was weighing on your body seemed to just disappear the moment he smiles at you and you smile back at him.

Until, you didn’t know where or when it came to be. But, the sugar that was once in your tea was slowly replaced with rose syrup. The sweetness still lingered at the roof of your mouth, but the aroma and the taste of the tea gradually changed as you feel your relationship with Jay gradually started to take a shift.

The tea that was once just shades of brown, slowly started to be tinted in pink as you start to see him in a different light. A dimmer, more captivating light that made your heart race whenever you were around him.

At first you weren’t used to the unfamiliar taste and you wanted to just focus on the familiar parts which was the sweetness of it all. You wanted to see that his actions towards you were just friendly; just like a friend you knew, just like the Jay you knew.

But once the aroma and the taste got the best of you, you started to accept the gradual change. Succumbing yourself to the scent completely, feeling yourself become addicted to the sweetness and the aroma of the rose syrup.

Just like how you find it addicting to chase this romantic high you have for Jay.

The desire you have boiling in your stomach to want to shower him with romantic affection; to touch him, to hold him, and to kiss him. Your mind would begin to wonder what it would be like to be able to do those things with him. To be able to know if he had felt the same way towards you.

“I have an idea, actually.” Jay spoke as he leaned closer in your ear, his voice gradually getting quieter as her spoke making you furrow your eyebrows at him. “What idea?”

“Do you want to go to the beach?” he asked hesitating at first as he looked at you, shifting his head to the side as he made eye contact with you.

“At this hour?” you questioned as you flashed him a soft smile that made him stutter in his words. “Well, I mean it’s just, I’ve always wanted to know what it looked like at night, so.”

He pointed awkwardly at the night sky as he tried to mimic the sounds and the movement of waves with his arm, which made you chuckle.

“But, you know I don’t want to force you or anything I just-”

“I think I’d like that.” you spoke nodding your head which made him widen his eyes at your words, making eye contact with you in hopes that you actually did wanted to go and not to just force yourself to do so merely for his sake.

You flashed him a grin as you caressed his ear, making it turn into a light shade of red as he couldn’t fathom to form the words that could encapsulate how flustered he was feeling at that very moment.

“Uhm ok then, let’s uhm, let’s go.” He stumbled on his words as a few chuckle slipped from his grin, his ears red as he tried to cover his smile with the palm of his hand.

A chuckled slipped through your grin as he started the car, finding his flustered expression adorable before you turn away from him feeling the blood rush through your cheeks as you giggled silently to yourself.

Your eyes came in to contact for a second and Jay rolled his eyes at your teasing smile. Giggling at his awkward attempt to flirt with you.

“I hate you.” he joked as he threw his used napkins at you making you flinch and gasp dramatically.

“Park Jongseong, how rude of you.” you teased as you threw back the used napkins at him.

You could only roll your eyes and pursed your lips upwards, while he giggled, ruffling your hair with his hand as you sigh, removing his hand from your hair rather forcefully as you flashed him an annoyed smirk.

He let out a chuckle through his grin, sneaking a glance at your pouty face before adjusting the rearview mirror.

As his car glides through the city lights and into the woods, headlights pierced through the cool air of the night and on to the cold concrete of the road.

New wave rock plays through the radio as he hummed along to the songs, eyes latched onto the road as he glanced every now and then at you and the gps on his phone he placed above the speedometer.

You sat there gazing out the window as the city lights slowly dimmed behind you, soon replaced by the sight of the woods at night. With only the moon filtering through its trees and the overhead lights that glinted the road in front of you.

You both shared laughs and random stories with each other as he sneakily slid your open palm onto his, intertwining his fingers onto yours sending sparks into your veins. He smiled teasingly at you as he continued to sing along to the songs the both of you were listening on the radio before going back to look at the road.

You gave him a shy grin, acknowledging his sly demeanor as you looked away, feeling your cheeks turn to a shade of pink.

Sooner or later, as he drove deeper into the woods you finally made it to the shore. The sound of waves crashing from the distance filled in the background as the sight of the ocean waves bellow the starry night sky left the both of you starstruck.

Jay parked his car at a small cliff that overlooked the ocean view that at night. Staring in awe as the moonlight’s radiant glow dipped its light over the waters. Blessing its sight even in the dark of night.

“Wow.” you simply spoke as you rolled down the window, slowly letting the cool midnight wind find homage inside his car.

The breeze traveled from your nose and cheeks to the tips of your hair, closing your eyes, you feel your shoulders start to relax at the sound of the waves crashing into each other.

Soon, Jay also rolled down his window. Feeling the breeze cascade past the tips of his hair as he let out a relaxed sigh through his lips, leaning his head back as he let the breeze consume him whole.

You turn to him, taking in how gorgeous he looked from where you sat. The moonlight dotted his forehead, lips, and tips of his nose. Emitting a captivating glow as the breeze brushed back his hair ever so gently.

There was a gentle warmth to his eyes, mirroring the calm waves that emitted through the dark. His dark brown eyes grow luminous under the reflection of the moonlight, dipping its way into his gaze as his features grow restful.

Your eyes traveled down to his lips, it looked enticing under the stars. Emitting a soft and inviting glow as you feel your body and your heart drawn to it like strings being pulled from inside you.

His lips parted ever so slightly at the sight. A low sigh cascaded through his breath, his worries long forgotten as the soothing sound of the ocean seeps into his shoulders.

A serene silence washed over him as he stared out onto the ocean blue, the muscles in his body relax as he enters a state of calm. He turned towards you as he catches your deep calm eyes on his.

His breath caught in his throat as he watches your eyes widen before turning away from him in a cough, flashing him a shy smile as you looked out into the ocean.

“I take you like the view?” you asked as you pointed out into the ocean. A smile crept onto his face as he watched you.

“Yeah.” he spoke softly as his eyes never left your figure. His smile grew wider as he was taking in the captivating sight of you, engraving it in his memories for the rest of his life.

Calm silence took over as they stayed that way for a while. Taking in the view that surrounded them.

Soon after he’d convince you to sit by the beach with him, he turned off the car with a click of his keys as you both got out of the car. Your body soon greeted by the cool temperature of the rocky cliff as you both walked to the beach hand in hand.

The sounds of the waves grew louder, feeling the ground beneath your feet grew warmer as you dug your feet onto the sand. Letting the tranquil feeling wrap around your body as you stared out onto the ocean.

Eventually, you both found a spot to sit down on top of a small boulder. He extended his hand as he helped you climbed on top of the boulder as he sat down next to you.

There was nothing for the both of you to talk about anymore, and that was perfectly fine. Each others presence and the ocean view sufficed the sullen silence as you laid your head on top his shoulder and he laid his head on top of yours; hands lacing onto each other as the ocean waves echoed in your ears.

“I like this.” he spoke as he rested his chin on top of your head, making you smile as you caressed the palm of his hand. “Me too.”

“You know I love this view as much as the next person does, but what else do people do at the beach at night? You know, besides staring into the ocean.” he pouted his lips as he spoke.

You furrowed your eyebrows in response as you pressed your lips together. “I don’t know,”

“swimming maybe?” you answered as you shrugged your shoulder before removing yourself from his.

“At this hour?” he scrunched his forehead smirking as he looked up at the starry night sky.

“I mean who knows, everybody has the liberty to do whatever they want right?” you asked as you tilted your head at him.

For a moment Jay could only bit his lips as he thinks to himself, sparing a glance at the shore bellow them; his eyes enticed and puzzled. Almost as if he’s considering to say something risqué before opening his mouth.

“So, if I were to just jump into the ocean naked, that wouldn’t be illegal?” he asked as he extended his hand, playing with his fingers as he opened his palm towards the ocean.

“I have no idea.” you shook your head as you looked around you. Hoping that there were no lit houses nor any people doing their activities in sight, which thankfully and oddly enough, no other soul was at the beach and the mountains as far as your eyes can see besides the two of you alone at that very moment.

“But I don’t see anybody here.” you turned to him in a playful smirk as you raised your eyebrows at him. He let out a chuckle through his grin, shaking his head in disbelief at your behavior.

“And what exactly are you planning to do with that information?” he smirked at you as he leaned his face closer to yours as your smile grew wider.

“I mean,” you added as you glanced back and forth between him and the body of water bellow the bolder, insinuating to commit a devious action.

“I’d dare you to go, but I bet you’re too scared to do it.” you uttered as you leaned back and crossed your arms in front of your chest; showing pride with the same smirk still plastered onto your face making him raise his eyebrows at you.

“Y/n, I’m not an idiot, I’m not falling for that.” he spoke as he crossed his arms as well, this time his face leaned closer towards yours, almost as if he’s taunting you through his vaguely soft expression.

“I know you’re not, but what if I told there’s something in it for you?” you offered as he raised an eyebrow at you, leaning his body closer towards you as he pursed his lips.

“Then it better be a damn good offer.” he hugged his legs, tilting his head to the side.

“I’ll jump right in after you.”

“W-what?” he stuttered, stunned by your spontaneous response. A vision of the immediate future came racing into his mind, the thought of him seeing your naked figure for the first time made the blood race from his body right into his ears.

“Yeah, I mean I’ve never done anything like that but besides, there’s always a first time for everything right?” you shrugged your shoulders as you tried desperately to act casual about it, looking up into his eyes as they glimmered under the moonlit sky, making you almost weak in the knees.

Though on the outside you try your absolute best to hold in your composure, but on the inside your heart was thumping out of your chest. Cursing at yourself repeatedly while knowing it was too late to take your words back.

You could feel your blood rushing through the crevices of your smile lines as the wind danced on your skin giving you goosebumps that added to the anxiety you felt at the pit of your stomach.

He definitely thought you were going insane. You were definitely going insane waiting for him to say something.

Shit, maybe I should’ve known better.

You thought to yourself as you bit your own tongue, regretting your actions. You knew that jay wasn’t really the type to act out of his comfort zone and you knew that he always had the highest self dignity amongst all of your friends, rarely doing something that involved adrenaline. Unless of course he was dragged into it.

But, you didn’t want to push him into doing something he won’t usually do. Out of fear that he’s hiding the guilt of being uncomfortable with what you were insinuating. But then of course, at one point, everybody has to step out their own comfort zones right?

You bit the bottom of your lip as you turn away from him trying to come up with better words to brush off what you just said as a joke. That wasn’t until the words slipped pass his lips.

“Ok.” your head snapped at him. Though his words were simple and merely two syllables, it was enough to convey a deeper meaning.

A deeper meaning where he actually agrees with your spontaneous dare even though almost every fiber in his being says no; his heart was beating out of his chest, his shoulders tensed and his palms were almost sweaty as he swallowed a spit down his throat.

But even then, he can never say no to the thrill and excitement of doing something crazy and stupid with you. Not after the kissed he shared with you at your apartment, not with the way you were staring at him like he was crazy and not when the bonus included was being able to take a sneak peak at your naked body. So for you only, he was willing to let himself loose this time.

“Wait what?” you spoke as you turned around to face him untying his shoes, the waves behind you calmed in time as he took off his shoes, a playful smirk plastered on his face. He let out a chuckle at your shocked and bewildered expression, finding it adorable.

All the nerve wrecking feeling from his body was replaced with adrenaline. The anxiousness melting away into excitement as he stole a glance at you. Wishing you could see how much he wanted to take you in his arms at that very moment.

“Jay look wait, are you sur-” your words were cut off as he suddenly closed the distance between the two of you, capturing your lips in his.

The passionate urge he had leaked from his lips to yours, taking you by surprise as he nuzzled his hand on your hair as you closed your eyes, letting the breath taking rush surge over you as leaned your head to the side. Indulging yourself deeper in him as you kissed.

Your hand held on to his forearm for dear life, fearing that you might melt away in his touch as he snaked the palm of his hand from your hair to your cheek, cupping it ever so gently before pulling away from you. Leaving you breathless.

“I’m sure y/n.” he murmured as he caressed your cheek, climbing down from the boulder as you watched him walk towards the shore from above.

Oh fuck me, I’m actually doing this.

Jay thought to himself as he stared out into the ocean view, the waves calmer and the breeze grew settler than when they first arrived.

Removing his jacket and placing it down on the sand, he stole a glance at you as he watched you eye him curiously. Still with the same bewildered expression you had earlier on as he gave you a smirk before unbuckling his belt.

He let out a sigh as he slowly stripped himself from his shirt and jeans. Your heart raced at the sight of his bare skin, a blush forming on your cheeks as you eyed his toned abs, feeling flustered as his eyes met yours.

“Do you mind turning around for a second?” he half shouted, his smirk grew cockier as he caught you staring at his body.

With your cheeks growing hot, you turned around rather abruptly. You swallowed a spit down your throat at the thought of Jay stripping down his underwear spun around your head making your heart thump faster.

You’ve seen him shirtless from time to time, but you never would’ve thought the day finally came where you get to see him naked. Or at least be in a scenario where he is naked and you’re aware of that, though he doesn’t show it.

You had fantasized about him from time to time. What he looked like from the waist under. How it would feel like for you. And more often than not, you become a victim of your own vivid imagination.

The heat between your legs would pulsate as the made up scenarios you made in your head grew stronger through out the day. The sight of seeing him in public made it worse, suddenly all his features seemed so delectable.

His honey like skin intoxicates you every time you look at him from afar. His back muscles lingered in your mind as you wondered what it would look like the next morning, nail marks decorating it from the profanities you’ve committed the night before.

His pretty pink lips that always seemed to gleam an inviting glow, almost as if its begging to latch itself onto yours. Just waiting, longing for you to have every inch of him. It drives you crazy from time to time.

Suddenly, the sound of the waters splashing loudly caught your attention as you turned around, your eyes found ripples in the water right in front of Jay’s discarded pile of clothing. Growing concerned, you hurriedly took off your shoes and climbed down from the boulder as you gazed out into the ocean.

A few moments later, you watch as the ripples in the water grew bigger, watching him resurface from the ocean. The body of water splashed around him as he wiped his face before turning around to face you.

You smile grew wide at the sight of him. Observing him from afar. His dark hair slicked back, clinging onto his head as the water dripped down his bare shoulders. His toned chest rippled under the moonlight as he turned to you with a wide grin on his face. Arms forming ripples across the water as an attempt to keep himself afloat.

“Oy y/n! We had a deal.” he shouted, a lazy grin swept across his face as his eyes glinted with mischief. You chuckled at his playfulness, watching him from afar before removing your top as he eyed you attentively.

Your heart was beating a thousand miles per second as you felt his eyes on you, an anxious feeling lingered at the pit of your stomach as you removed your jeans next. Leaving you in your bra and underwear.

Glancing at his discarded articles of clothing beside your feet. Your eyes widen in realization as it settles on the sight of the white and black band of his underwear.

Holy shit.

You thought to yourself as your heartbeat thumped through your eardrum instantaneously, your face turning bright red and your breath hitched at your throat almost instantly as you looked at him from afar.

“Come on y/n!” he spoke as he waved his arms in the air, your shocked expression turned into a glint, a new rush filled inside your chest. The stomach churning feeling turned to adrenaline as you feel every nerve in your body tingled with excitement.

“Turn around!” you shouted from across, cupping your mouth as you did.

His face glinted with excitement and anticipation as he did, facing the view of the open ocean as small waves brushed pass his shoulders.

Your skin shivered with the cool night air, feeling your heart pounding out of your chest as you unclasped your bra and stripped your underwear down, plopping it down on top of the rest of your discarded clothes.

The cold breeze sent shivers down your spine as you stood there by the edge of the water. Your toes digging into the cool sand. The ocean waves brushing against the tip of your toes as you eyed him from afar.

Feeling the adrenaline rush through your veins, goosebumps trickled down your skin, letting a new high take over your body. The quick steps you took turned into a sprint as you feel the ocean sink deeper into your knees, letting out a joyful shout before you dove head first into the water.

Soon after, Jay felt a familiar heat behind him, anticipating you as he felt his heartbeat creep in to his eardrums and his breath hitching in his throat. But just as he turned around, he was splashed by a sudden burst of cold water, catching him off guard as the salty taste of the ocean water lingered in his tongue.

He chuckled in pure bliss as he watched you grin mischievously, your hands scooping a handful of water.

“Oh no you don’t.” he retaliated as he hurled the water at you causing you to squeal.

His laugh echoed with yours, the sounds of water being splashed and hurled around ringed out the waves. The woods and the hills behind you, a silent testimony to your act as the splashing of water got bigger and louder as neither of you backed down from your game. Chuckling as you both reveled in the sensation.

“Ok, ok, fine. You win. You win jay.” you laughed as you raised both of your hands in defeat earning a chuckle from him. The splashes soon came into a halt as they giggled at each other. All of a sudden he swam closer towards you with a mischievous grin on his face making you smile rather nervously, bracing yourself from whatever roguish plan he had in his head.

You closed your eyes shut as he splashed water onto you through his fingertips, earning a giggle from you as he did the same.

As the playfulness between them slowly subsided, it felt as though the world around them slowly began to shift. Their laughter long faded into the night, replaced by the comfortable silence that hung in the air. The waves soothing rhythm echoed their steady heartbeats.

Gravitating towards each other, they both find themselves staring into the open ocean, only an endless stretch into the horizon in sight as the moon dipped its glow over the ocean. The stars dotted the night sky above them, each emitting it’s own light like a flare amidst the dark.

The chill of the water was soon replaced by the warmth that radiated between them, shoulders brushing against each other. Sending an almost electrifying feeling down your spine. Feeling a familiar warmth creep up to your cheeks as you felt the water beside you start to ripple.

“Wow.” he uttered, facing towards the shore. “I never thought I’d see a view like this.”

“Yeah.” you spoke as the waves lapped softly against your bodies, the rhythmic pulse of it mimicking the steady beating of your hearts.

He turned to you, catching the way the moonlight reflected on your face and bare shoulders, reflecting the softness in your eyes and lips. Words couldn’t describe what he felt at that moment. The silence between you being the only thing that spoke louder than any word in the english dictionary.

“Y/n.” he uttered as you turn towards him, feeling as though time had paused for a moment as his gaze met yours. “I like, being with you.”

Your eyebrows furrowed though your gaze still remained soft. “What do you mean?”

A small rift lapped between the two of you as he paused for a moment. The air between you buzzed with a quiet breeze, afraid to rush the anticipation of something they both knew was about to happen.

“I like being with you y/n.”

“I wanna be near you, always y/n. If you’d let me.” he spoke as he leaned in closer towards you, his movements inviting like a letter, waiting for you to open.

“Park Jongseong.” you smiled softly at him as you watch his eyes widen at the mention of his full name. “I’ll always wanna be near you.”

They both stayed like that, floating there smiling and exchanging shy glances at each other, the acknowledgement they had for each other sending ripples of relieve and euphoria as a small wave washed over them. The beach, the ocean, the entire world seemed to hold its breath, waiting for them to move.

The cool water rippled around them as they moved closer to each other. A silent invocation unfolded in front of them, while the world surrounding them seemed to fade into the background.

The playful smiles and giggles subsided as they’ve lost themselves in the depths of each others eyes. Gazes filled with longing and invitation like a bubble on the verge of popping from the overwhelming amount of air inside of it.

With their faces now merely an inch from each other, the warmth of their breaths and bodies mingled together. An intoxicating drug as they felt their hearts beat louder, leaning impossibly closer to each other.

Dipping his head to the side, he closed the last inch between them as their lips met in a soft and tentative kiss. A sigh escaping your lips as he let go momentarily before leaning his head to the other side, deepening the kiss as he cupped your cheek.

The seemingly innocent and unsure kiss grew eager as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your fingers trailing the back of his neck as he gently squeezes your waist. Eyes closed, cheeks flushed and lips intertwined.

The eagerness that was there soon lapped in passion and reckless abandon. Neither of you were selfless enough to pull away, like a battlefront to your lips. The hand that was caressing your cheek soon drifted to your waist, grasping on to it as if you were to slip away from him.

As he enclosed any remaining space between the two of you, you opened your mouth to him as you feel your body surrender to him. Indulging yourself in the surging passion as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. Intensifying the eagerness and passion that was already there.

Your bare chest pressed flushed against his as the cool water purls around you, making the feeling all the more electrifying. The passion and hunger washed over your body unlike anything you’ve ever felt. Long forgotten the rippling waters that swayed on your backs as the heat of jay’s body clung to yours like coral reefs to the ocean floor.

The world around you seemed to dissolve, lips and bodies melting into each other, skin against skin. Never did either one of you wanted to let go of each other. In this moment it was just you and jay and no one else could ever take that away from you.

In contrast to the hunger that lingered along the kiss, the gentle nature of the man in front of you appeared as he slowly and gently pulls his lips away from yours.

The whispers of the sea and the gentle lapping of waves were the only thing accompanying you as your bodies remained close. A breathless chuckle escaped your lips as you could only look at each other, chuckling at the intensity of emotions that quickly subsided into amusement.

“Have you always felt that way about me?” you asked as you broke the silence, tracing back the words that trailed from his mouth earlier on.

A moment of silence washed over the two of you as the sounds of the ocean creeped back into your eardrums. What once was a soft boiled down moment of humor quickly subsided back to the air and the tension that was once there at the bolder.

“Yeah.” he simply spoke with a nod. “I’ve always felt that way about you ever since I saw you walking down the halls for the first time.” he confessed.

“Wow.” you uttered. “I guess you’ve been holding it in for longer than I thought.”

“Yeah. But honestly looking at it now, I never regret that I did.” he spoke as your foreheads touched, igniting a chuckle from you as he looked at you in adoration. “I don’t think this night could ever get any better y/n.”

“I beg to differ.” you spoke as you pursed your lips, eyes gazing out into the sky. A playfully dirty scheme planned out in your head as he stared at you in confusion, hands still gripping onto your waist.

“What do you mean by that?” he furrowed his eyebrows as he eyed your expression. You glanced at the shore, specifically the small cliff where he parked his car for a couple of times, but he still couldn’t get it together. It wasn’t until you pocked the inside of your cheek and give him a teasing smile when his eyes widen.

He instantly snapped his gaze away from you, his ears heating up as he smiled flush at the ocean beneath him. The air around him shifted as he finally understood what you were insinuating.

“Wow y/l/n y/n, I never thought you were this perverted.” he teased as he grinned at you, pulling you closer to him until your breasts were pressed against his bare chest, a shit-eating grin on his face as his lips were merely inches apart from yours.

“Oh shut up park jongseong.” you teased as you threw a handful of water at him making him swim slightly away from you, a surprised expression on his face as he wiped the water off of his face, slicking back his jet black hair as you flash him a small grin.

“Do you want me to?” he asked raising his eyebrows at you as the two of you just stood there smiling and giggling at each other. The sounds of the water around you treading being the only thing that ringed in your ear as you nodded at him.

His grin soon melted into a soft smile as he swam closer towards you. In contrast to the serene sounds of waves crashing in the background, you felt your heart beating loudly against your eardrums. As though a restart button hits every time he comes closer to you, making you feel the same jittery, ecstatic feeling over and over again whenever he leans in for a kiss.

He sets his eyes on you, a tint of lust dipped into his gaze as he bit the bottom of his lip. A mischievous idea popped into your head as he dipped his head to the side, slowly closing his eyes. But just before he could close the distance between your lips, you soon pulled away from him with a mischievous smirk plastered onto your face as you opened your mouth to speak.

“Last one to make it to the shore has to top!” you half shouted as you abruptly swim away from him, leaving him there stunned at your sudden actions. Only being able to chuckle and smile at you as he followed you towards the shore.

A sequence of profanities that would unfold became an undeniable promise as the sea, the stars, the moon and the woods became a silent witness as their figures drifted into the night.

#enhypen #enhypen fanfiction #enhypen scenarios #jay x reader #park jongseong #park jongseong x reader #jay enhypen #jay enhypen x reader #kpop #kpop fanfic #suggestive #enhypen jay x reader #enhypen jay #enhypen hard hours #enhypen soft hours

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naomikozura · 5 months ago

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Playing With Fire: Chapter 10

Jason Todd (Red Hood) x Fem!Reader (Criminal)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Forbidden Romance

Warnings: strong language, violence, mentions of gun use, abuse, mentions of bombs, death, mental and physical torture, bodily harm, blood, angst no comfort, past trauma (lmk if I missed any!)

WC: 11.7K

Summary: Six years ago...

Series Masterlist

Chapter 9 || Chapter 11

Six Years Earlier || Jason’s POV

Gotham Academy was known for its influx of high society students all of which were practically bred into the life of glitz and glamor. If there was one thing he hated more than criminal scum, it was that of the students at Gotham Academy. The uptightness, the rude, and mainly the ones who only talked to him in hopes to get to Bruce Wayne, his adoptive millionaire of a father. Jason never bothered to try and make friends, especially since he could sense their motives from a mile away. He didn’t care about school, his life revolved around nightlife. His responsibilities as Robin. Ever since he first put the suit on he felt exhilarated, he felt whole, like he was on top of the world. His day life was too mundane, too boring.

The teacher rambled through another lecture, trying to get the students involved and even though a few did catch interest, Jason felt bored and ignored the teacher to look out the window. The class was right next to the open field that was by the entrance of the academy. He noticed three figures walking up the sidewalk to the front doors. It was a taller dark haired man, a red headed woman, and a smaller figure. A girl. close to his age or probably a year younger than him. Was she late? Was she new?

“Mr. Todd. Would you like to tell us what we just discussed?”, Jason snapped to look at the teacher who stood tapping her foot impatiently.

“I, um..”

“Focus. Next time I won’t give you a warning.”, Jason scowled at her comment, sliding down in his seat as he zoned out once again. Another 15 minutes passed and there was a knock on the door. The teacher stopped to open the door and the schools Head Director stepped through, the girl from earlier behind him. Jason immediately snapped up, his attention back in focus.

“Good morning class. Sorry to interrupt Ms. Leonard but you have a new student for your second hour class. Class, this is (Y/n) (L/n). She’s new at Gotham Academy and she’ll be in your second year classes for the remainder of year and moving forward until graduation. Please introduce yourself during passing periods and make her feel welcome.”

You didn’t say hello or even introduce yourself, you just moved to the first empty seat you saw and class continued for the last ten minutes before being dismissed. Jason followed behind you, seeing as some people tried to introduce themselves and you just ignored them. Aren’t new kids supposed to like this type of attention?

The school day went by and Jason found that the two of you shared two classes together, which was a given since you were in the same year and Gotham Academy kept classmates close to build those networks and friendships.

The day ended and Jason walked back to the Manor, his head focused on you all day. Why did you look familiar? He didn’t see you after class, especially since the last hour you had different classes. When he arrived home, he went to the kitchen to find Alfred preparing dinner for him, Dick, and Bruce. Jason walked to the fridge and grabbed a water bottle out of the fridge and undid the cap as he heard Alfred’s voice echo through the room.

“Good afternoon Master Jason. I hope school went well today.”, his voice was calm as it normally was, Jason watching as he placed something into the oven.

“Hey Alfred. Yeah, it was interesting. We have a new girl in our class”, Jason said as he leaned over the counter, taking a drink of his water.

“A new student? Isn’t it a bit late in the term?”

“That’s what I was thinking. Maybe her family was able to pull some strings and get her enrolled. She’s quiet.”, Jason thought back at your actions back at school.

“She’s probably just not used to such a place like the academy. You remember how overwhelming it was when you first started?”, Alfred had a point.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right Alfred.”, Jason grabbed another water from the fridge before heading upstairs. “I’ll be down for dinner in a bit.”

Jason closed the door, locking it before pulling out his laptop and trying to do a soft search on your background. He used Bruce’s background systems, the state or the art and yet, you were completely nonexistent. No background, no family, no education, nothing. But how did you get into Gotham Academy if you didn’t even have a public record?

He thought, thinking of the names of the couple he saw walk you into the school. He typed in their names, and like he hit the jackpot, he was able to see their family history and that you were adopted recently by them. The East End Orphanage. Where all the kids who live on the street go if they’re under 18 and somehow get caught by the police. Jason knew that most kids preferred to live on the street than deal with the messiness of an adoption, to deal with the publicity and image that the families would get for helping a “troubled life”. It was an ego booster for the high class in Gotham. Nothing more.

Yet, he wanted to give your particular family the benefit of the doubt.

Maybe it wasn’t that way for you.

Jason closed the laptop. He had no right looking into your background when he didn’t even know you. You could just be some other new student and mind your business and him his. Yet a tugging in his chest made it difficult to leave things just be.

He ignored the thought as he changed out of his clothes and went into the gym, letting his mind drift into patrol training versus the new girl in his class. That needed his focus more.

Jason looked out the window, taking in some of the seniors outside in the lawn playing soccer as he tuned out whatever his teacher was saying about midterms. Right then, the bell had rung for class to be dismissed, his body in autopilot as he grabbed his bag and walked into the hall, the crowds of students flooding the hallways as he made his way to his locker. Although Jason was well known and popular at the Academy, he often felt bored with the day to day, his friends being the only thing keeping him from just skipping class. That and Bruce would actually kill him if he found out Jason was skipping his classes.

As he walked towards the lockers, he saw a familiar set of (h/c) hair, his heart skipping a beat as he watched you in front of your locker, your face buried in a textbook. Jason stopped in the hall, contemplating his next move as he bit his lip, his impulsiveness winning over logic. He walked towards you, trying to come up with an approach in the five seconds it would take to reach you.

He walked towards you, all eyes watching as he reached your locker and your head lifted, turning to face him with a blank expression and darkness in your eyes. Damn. If he didn’t already know any better he would think you wanted to rip his head off with how dark and blank your stare was. You didn’t say anything, and it made him get a chill from the awkwardness that filled the air, but forced himself to speak with confidence.

“Hey”, he said in a calm, even tone, casually leaning against the locker next to yours.

You stared at him blankly, your face neutral with uninterest.

“I’ve seen you around.”, he continued. “You’re new here right? I just thought I’d say hi.”

You glanced at him, your eyes cold and indifferent. You didn’t smile or reply right away. You just closed your book, pushing it into the locker neatly before closing it then turning towards him. “I’m busy.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, trying to keep his composure but you really were standoffish. “Hey, I’m not a bad guy, I just… I’d like to get to know you better.”

Before you could answer, Jason’s friends, who had been watching from a few paces away, decided to make their presence known. They swaggered over, clearly enjoying the spectacle.

“Jason, are you seriously trying to talk to her?” one of them snickered. “You know she’s got a reputation, right?”, by the time Jason tried to catch you, you were long gone, disappearing into the ocean of people. He felt a tug in his gut, an annoyance flooding him as he listened to his friends continue their stupid spiel.

Another friend stepped closer, crossing his arms with a smirk. “Yeah, I heard she’s been in trouble—like, serious trouble. Thief, arrested, all that crap. Why waste your time?”

“Guys, seriously, lay off. I’m just trying to have a conversation.”, he protested. “She’s new, it doesn’t hurt to make transfer students feel more welcome.”

“She isn’t a transfer dude, she was picked up off the street.”

One of them threw their arm around his shoulders, leaning in mocking him. “Oh, man. Are you that desperate? C’mon you’re a Wayne. You can do better than that.”

“Seems like Mr. Wayne passed down the charm, always gotta be nice to everyone.”

“Shit, Jason. You could use that charm on any other girl, why her?”

“Why don’t we fuck with her, set her up on a fake date and see if she shows. Man that’ll be hilarious”

Jason felt a surge of annoyance. What dicks. “You guys are assholes. Why are you guys even indulging in dumbass rumors, just because there’s talk doesn’t mean it’s true.”

“It’s not about what’s true or not. She has a record, someone found her juvenile record, it’s fact. You’re really gonna get involved with someone like that?”

“C’mon man, you’re a Wayne, you got no business entertaining someone at that low of a level”

Little did they know he also had a juvenile record, luckily enough, Bruce was able to keep it off public. It was erased completely actually. Regardless of his name, thanks to his adoptive father, he was no different than you. The Wayne name was the only thing that separated him from who he was before Bruce found him. His jaw clenched at how easy it was for these assholes to rip into anyone they saw as beneath them.

“Whatever. I’m not interested in rumors.”, he spit out, his friends only shrugging and laughing it off.

“Ah, alright. We’re just fucking around. C’mon let’s go to gym. Coach will kill us if we’re late again.”

Jason rolled his eyes, his head turning back down the hall, staring at the empty space where your presence lingered before he turned around and continued down the opposite direction with his so-called friends.

He wondered if he’d see you at the Academy again, his mind filled with how different the entire interaction could’ve gone. He pushed the thought away as he continued down the hall, the day passing by and everything continuing as it normally did everyday.

Once school was released, Jason sat outside during the last few minutes of the day before heading off, heading a group of girls past behind him and started to laugh. Their voices clawed at his insides.

“Is that…. Is that her?”

“Yeah, I heard that they took her off the streets after she got arrested”

“Who let a person like that into the academy? Have we started going downhill?”

He turned his head slightly to see what they were laughing at. Jason felt himself burn with anger, his chest filling with an anger he didn’t know how to control. He turned his head, looking at the girls as they stifled their laughs and pointed at you as you walked by.

He knew the girls did nothing but start rumors, they were known for this at the academy but he felt something stab at him when he saw you trip and fall to the ground, the contents of your bag falling everywhere. This fucker. Jason thought as he saw a familiar set of blonde hair towering over you, mocking and laughing at you.

“Looks like you still enjoy picking trash off the ground, streetrat.”, the comment alone made Jason boil. You were picking up your belongings when he saw the guy grab your arm and tighten his hand enough to make it noticeable.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, street rat”

Jason had enough, if he didn’t stop this no one else would. He was surprised they were even able to find out who you were in the past few weeks. Turns out the blonde’s father was in business with your adoptive father and he had mentioned the topic of adopting you from the East End Orphanage and so started the whispers in the hallways. Even Jason couldn’t ignore them.

“Now, let’s calm down, yeah?”, Jason’s voice hardened, stepping in front of you to block you from view in hopes they would leave.

“You’re lucky I don’t have time to waste on charity cases, Todd.”, and with that he left.

“Sorry about that, you okay? It looks like your arm might bruise up”, Jason stretched his hand out to help you stand but you pushed him aside and walked away.

“Hey! You’re walking away again?”, he hadn’t even had enough time to stop as you whipped around to look into his eyes, his heart skipping a beat.

“Who are you? What do you want?”, you asked him with a sting in your tone. He looked at you with surprised eyes.

“I remember you, from a few months ago. I offered you water.”, he tried to get you to listen but you replied harshly, not bothering to turn around.

“No, sorry. I think you got the wrong person.”.

He stood there in place as you walked off, heading back towards the courtyard to grab his own bags when he noticed the same blonde from earlier. He walked up, grabbing his bag and throwing it over his shoulder.

“What’s up with that, Todd? We don’t give people like her a second thought. This academy was built on prestige, don’t waste your time trying to convince her that she belongs here. She will never be one of us.”

“I think that’s a load of shit and you know it, Mitch.”

“Whatever. But know where your loyalties lie. You’re the son of Bruce Wayne, not some street rat who plays suits.”, with that, he turned and walked away. Jason watching his retreating figure.

Little do they know.

He breathed before walking back towards the manor.

There was an overwhelming sensation flooding his body, the way he was able to take flight and feel the wind on his skin and feel free. For the first time in his life, Jason felt on top of the world. Jason took a deep breath, savoring the crisp night air as it whipped past him. He was stunting his new Robin suit that Bruce had helped update for his growing stature. The mask fit his face better and the utility belt held more variety of weapons.

The new Robin suit was more than just an upgrade; it was a symbol of trust and growth. Bruce had never given him this much space before, and Jason intended to prove he was ready for it. The suit's upgraded features and enhanced utility belt felt like an extension of himself, perfectly in tune with his movements. It was the best thing that he could receive almost like he was a kid opening presents on Christmas.

He had the night to himself. It was rare that Bruce would let him out on his own, but he promised to stay out of trouble in order to get him to approve of his nightly adventures. He was at an age where Bruce trusted him to go out alone and not get into trouble. Trouble meant being potentially benched from the field and that was not something he wanted. Not when he felt on top of the world right now.

He found himself going through the city, jumping from the roofs of buildings one after another. He came across a building that looked over the main streets of Gotham, the lights shining up from the ground. He jumped on the top of the roof and looked down at the streets. The sounds of the cars passing by and the small noises of the people left on the street filled the night to keep it from feeling eerie.

Jason looked over the passing cars, his eyes looking over the streets until he turned his head, catching a glimpse of a figure sitting on the edge of the building. He used the compact binoculars in his belt to look, seeing a girl around the same age as him, her back facing him so she was oblivious to his quiet figure. He wondered what she was doing out alone in the cold, and why so late at night?

He jumped down from the building that was just a bit taller from where you sat. walking over to you, his stealth helping from making a loud noise when he jumped down. He noticed that she had (h/c) hair, reaching her mid back and it was a bit messy, blowing in the air since it started to get colder as the minutes passed.

“It’s a bit chilly to be out here isn’t it?”, he said, announcing his presence.

You turned around, looking at him with the most beautiful pair of (e/c) eyes he had ever seen. You were prettier than he thought. Hell, he can’t even remember if any of the girls at the Academy were as pretty as she was. Your skin being illuminated by the light of the city, noticing your knee bouncing from the cold. It was a lot colder tonight than the past few days.

You saw his face and after looking down at his chest, the noticeable ‘R’ shining on his chest like a badge of honor and protection. You seemed to visibly calm down. That gave him the perfect in to get closer to you.

“Shouldn’t you be with the Batman or did you finally get granted privileges?”, you spoke out, the sarcasm dripping from your tone. He smirked to himself, amused by your comment.

“That’s funny, but I do go solo sometimes, get a feel of the streets.”, he walked over and stood next to where you were sitting, trying to act as cool as possible at the fact that he was sitting next to one of the prettiest girls he had seen in a while. Probably ever in his whole life, even more than Barbara.

“What are you doing up here? Don’t you have a curfew?”, he genuinely asked, wondering why someone as young as you was sitting out in the middle of the night. Of course, she could ask the same to him.

“I snuck out. Don’t necessarily care what the family tells me.”, he noticed the sadness in your tone and the fact that you didn’t say ‘my’ family but ‘the’ family. Were you adopted? An indentured servant?

“I see, well, I’m Robin, what’s your name?”, he smiled at you, hoping he could get some sort of response.

“If I tell you, will you leave me alone?”, Okay ouch.

“Depends”, he said while swinging his feet, trying to act as nonchalant as he could to get a name out of you.

“Depends on what?”

“Depends on how this conversation goes.”, Jason kept poking at you, hoping you would give your name even though he knew he couldn’t give his in return.

“(Y/n).”

He smiled over at you before looking back over the city. It suited you well, it sounded like it would be the only name he would end up thinking about for the next few days.

“That’s a nice name”.

He noticed your hands shaking, pulled open a small compartment to his belt and pulled out a little baggie, turning on the heat button and passing it to you calmly. You looked down at his hands before you hesitated in taking the item.

“It’s a hand warmer”, Jason answered, knowing your question was stuck in the back of her throat. Your eyes narrowed slightly before taking it, he watched as you let the warmth sink into your skin and hold it in a tight grasp.

“Why are you up here alone?”, he found himself a bit intrigued, he couldn’t quite place why he wanted to sit and talk to you, maybe it was just his hormones, puberty, or something else but he couldn’t bring himself to care for the reason.

“It helps me escape.”. He paused not knowing what to say to that but somehow understood what you meant. Hell, he chose to become Robin to escape from living in the streets. Of course, Bruce found him and took him in, training him and showing him the ropes but it was still his form of escape. His freedom all wrapped in red, black, and yellow.

“I don't have to think about the world down there, I can just escape reality for a while”, Jason stared at you for a moment longer, feeling the emotion that poured out of you touch him “This city hasn’t been kind to me, so being up here lets me escape that I live in this shithole.”

“Would you leave if you could?”, he asked.

“Oh god, yes. If I could hop on a plane and disappear from this city forever I would do it in a heartbeat.”, Jason smiled at the response, a part of him having the same feeling.

He felt like he could escape from his life on the streets when Bruce took him in. He felt like this second life as a vigilante distracted him from the cruelty in the world, wishing he could get rid of all the bad people in the world and make it a better place.

“Yeah, me too.” he answered truthfully, hoping you’d find solace in his answer.

Jason felt your eyes staring at him, and he turned to look at you. Everything seemed to fall perfectly into place, the moment was everything he needed at that point in time. Right when the moment seemed too perfect to be ruined, that familiar voice rang out through his comms.

“Robin, where are you?”, he turned off his radio, forcing himself to his feet and stepping off the ledge.

“I’m sorry. I have to go.”, he apologized and noticed your face glow with a small smile. It made him happy knowing there was someone who found the same escape in such a shitty city. Right as he turned to leave, he stopped, turning towards you, and speaking out.

“I hope we can meet again soon, it’d be nice to get to know you more (Y/n).”.

Jason felt like a love sick boy, the days went by slowly when he wouldn’t see you. He knew the both of you went to the same academy, but he couldn’t risk making himself stick out that much to you. It would give away who he was too carelessly. Though, he enjoyed being able to spend the spare time of his patrol nights with you. You both shared your dreams and future aspirations, the way the world was cruel but there could be good in it too.

The both of you had a lot in common, Jason especially liked that your eyes would shine when you talked about traveling and seeing the world. You wanted to try all these different foods and see different museums, the biggest libraries, everything. He liked that the most, that you found interest in similar things like he did. He loved reading books and you liked art and museums. You were deep and intricate about things people at the Academy were very surface level about. When you mentioned wanting to visit libraries and galleries abroad, Jason turned to you, raising his pinky up and promising a pact for the two of you. You stared at him before raising your own pinky, promising with him. Jason promised to leave Gotham with you once you were old enough, to see the world and visit every place on your bucket list. He got drunk off your laughter, especially when you smiled at him and promised that you would follow him to every part of the world.

Jason wasn’t sure when he started to feel so strongly about you, but he was sure he was starting to fall for you. You two just clicked, it was all so natural, so calming, so mundane. It brought him into wanting to live a normal life with you, maybe even the rest of his. He liked that you had a fiery personality, you weren’t scared to stand up for yourself and you were passionate about the things you wanted. It made you stand out that much more to him and he wondered if any part of him stood out to you too.

Jason remembers you sharing about your life on the streets, the way the family that was a part of Gotham’s elite adopted you, and the way you felt grateful but spiteful at the same time. He felt his heart tug at the thought of the city being so cruel to you. He wanted to be the one you found comfort in. He could see how your eyes changed when he told you how happy he was when someone like Bruce had taken him in, seeing the softness in your eyes. Jason found comfort in you, even if you were only strangers to one another, he enjoyed knowing you more.

Jason felt the wind on his skin and brushing through his hair, the wind softly blowing yours as well. The both of you stood on the ledge of the building, looking down. Jason was known for his crazy antics within the family, his impulsivity, but in that moment he was sure he wanted to show you what flying felt like. He grabbed the grappling hook from his belt, extending his hand out to you, your eyes filled with confusion and uncertainty but took his hand anyway.

The way you felt against him made him go crazy, almost like your body was made to fit in his perfectly. He grabbed you tightly, your arms around his neck and he shot the line and jumped off the building once it hooked. You were in the air for what felt like a lifetime, the sound of your laughter filling the air and his own following after yours.

He kicked the window to the abandoned building in order to land safely, rolling over, Jason found himself under you, his heart beating fast inside his chest. The laughter leaving your mouth still sounds like a melody to him.

Jason raised his hand and brushed your hair behind your ear, your smile still painted on your face in the most beautiful way. He smiled back at you, still trying to catch his breath. In that moment, he felt as though he lost control of all thought, he lost all self-control, he needed you to know how he felt. Needed to know how you tasted.

He leaned up, placing a hand behind your head, and softly placing his lips against yours. He felt you tense slightly, but leaned into the kiss, the softness of them making him swoon. He tried to memorize the way they felt against his own, wanting them for the rest of his life.

Jason wanted you, he was so sure. He hadn’t ever wanted anything so intently and intensely in his life before, not even being Robin compared to how he felt with you. You were like a newfound freedom, a deep rooted connection he never wanted to get rid of, a reason to keep going.

And he would be yours in a heartbeat, all you had to do was tell him.

He wanted to be yours, he wanted you to have him.

All of him.

That night, Jason returned to the Batcave, his heart still racing from his time with you, your touch lingering and overwhelming his senses. As he made his way in, the subdued hum from the Batcomputer and the dim lighting created a comforting backdrop, making the ambiance seem fitting to the cave. He took off his domino mask, holding it in his hands as he began to slip out of his Robin suit and started stowing it away when he heard Bruce’s voice, deep and steady, as it called out from the shadows.

“You’re back early tonight.”

Jason’s head looked up, taking in Bruce’s form as he stepped out from behind the Batmobile, his cowl coming off his head as he revealed his face in a calm resting expression. Bruce;s eyes focused on Jason’s form, a mixture of curiosity and intrigue filling his expression.

“Yeah, just finished up early.”, Jason replied, trying to keep his tone light as he shrugged. He moved over to the equipment area, pretending to check his stock in his belt. “Gotta keep an eye on things, you know, Robin things.”

Bruce’s gaze didn’t waver, his deduction already aware of where exactly Jason had been spending his nights alone the past few weeks. “You’ve been in a good mood lately. Anything specific happen tonight?”, Bruce questioned as he walked over to the computer. “You’ve been disappearing quite a bit on your solo patrols, even when we don’t have missions.”

Jason shrugged again, trying to stay nonchalant but couldn’t mask his subtle smile. “Nothing really, just nice to get out and do things alone. You know how it is.”

Bruce raised an eyebrow, not entirely convinced by Jason’s answer. “You’ve been out a lot more than usual, and not just on patrols.”

Jason fidgeted with a piece of gear, avoiding Bruce’s piercing gaze. "It’s just… been a good week. I just like going out alone. Sometimes, it’s nice to have something to look forward to."

Bruce’s expression hardened slightly, though he kept his tone even. "Jason, you know you can talk to me about anything. If something’s going on, I need to know. It’s my job to make sure you’re safe."

Jason met Bruce’s gaze briefly before looking away, back to fidgeting with his utility belt. "I’m fine, Bruce. Really. Just… enjoying life a little, that’s all. Enjoying the freedom"

Bruce’s eyes lingered on Jason. He had noticed the changes, the occasional late-night absences that didn’t coincide with their patrols. He understood the need for personal space, especially at Jason’s age but his obvious dismissal and evasiveness was a red flag. Deep down, Bruce knew there was more than Jason was letting on, and even if he wouldn’t say it out loud, Bruce already deduced exactly why.

"Alright," Bruce said after a moment, though his tone remained serious. "Just remember, being Robin isn’t just about the suit or the thrill. It’s about responsibility and trust. Don’t let anything—"

Jason cut him off, a touch of defensiveness in his voice. "I know, Bruce. I’m on top of it. Just—give me a little space, okay? I’ve got this."

Bruce studied him for a moment longer before nodding, though his concern remained evident. "If you need anything, you know where to find me."

Jason nodded and gave a light smile. "Thanks, Bruce."

As Bruce turned to leave, Jason’s expression softened slightly, a mix of relief and unresolved tension. Jason knew he was only trying to act like a good father figure, he knew Bruce cared about him and his safety but for now he wanted to keep you separate from his life at home. He wanted that part for himself. You were his own and he didn’t want to share that with Bruce or the rest of the family just yet.

The early afternoon sunlight cast a warm glow over Gotham, the streets filled with all sorts of people either shopping, meeting up with friends, getting lunch, or just window shopping. Bruce and Jason walked through the upscale shopping district as the sounds of conversations floated all around them, the crowds enjoying the light breeze of the weather and soaking in the sun. Bruce suggested a brief outing to pick up a gift for one of his ‘friends’, a rare but nice moment that allowed both of them a sense of being normal people in society instead of vigilantes.

Jason trailed slightly behind Bruce as they entered a nice jewelry store, the cases filled with intricate and beautifully designed pieces. Bruce walked around before stopping at a case, observing all of the pieces inside as Jason wandered off to the other side of the store, his attention drawing to a small display that held a collection of emerald jewelry pieces. The display had different handcrafted jewelry from delicate necklaces, dainty earrings, and intricate bracelets.

Jason paused, his eyes drawn to a dainty necklace displayed in the case, the green stone stunning as it reflected under the light. It was a classy design, simple but with a beautiful dark green emerald inside. It was the perfect mix of timeless and personable. The color and elegance drew him in, and before he knew it, he was calling over one of the clerks to help him.

Bruce had noticed Jason talking to the clerk, his eyes observing as Jason pointed to the necklace in the case and examining it with his own eyes. Jason’s demeanor was different from his usual confident bravado; he seemed almost contemplative, as if weighing a decision of significant importance.

“Is this the necklace?”, the clerk asked as Jason nodded, looking at it with observant eyes. “Excellent choice, you have a very good eye, sir.”

Jason cleared his throat, slightly flustered but held his composure. “I’m also wondering, do you have any earrings that could possibly match this?”.

The clerk nodded, guiding Jason to the case just next to the necklaces as he pointed out a few different pairs. Bruce watched quietly as he picked out the gift he was getting, his curiosity piqued. Jason hadn’t ever bought gifts for anyone, but his choices in the jewelry shop were thoughtful and intentional. He was picking something special, with meaning, it wasn’t just a random purchase.

After a few moments, Jason picked between four pairs of earrings, selecting the one that would go best with the necklace. The clerk nodded as he wrapped up the items neatly inside small velvet lined boxes before placing them carefully inside the store marked branded bag. Jason walked over to the register, pulling out his wallet and the card Bruce had gotten him that had his monthly allowance on it, quickly paying for the items and thanking the clerk for his help.

Jason walked over to Bruce, who also had his own bag with jewelry inside, the both of them walking out and continuing their walk through the streets. “Something special for someone?”

Jason tensed, Bruce’s question catching him off guard as he smiled slightly with an airy laugh. “Just a small gift. Thought it might brighten someone’s day.”

“$5,000 is hardly a small gift.”, Bruce chuckled, the small tease going over Jason’s head as he saw his jaw clench and his shoulders tense. He raised an eyebrow at his son, deciding not to press further. He could tell Jason wasn’t ready to share those details, deciding it was better for him to share on his own terms. “It’s thoughtful. I’m sure whoever gets it will appreciate it.”, Bruce offered a genuine smile at Jason.

“Yeah, I hope so”, Jason nodded, a small smile playing at his lips.

As they left the jewelry store and continued through the shopping district, Bruce couldn’t help but feel a sense of curiosity mingled with a hint of pride. Despite the tension that sometimes hung between them, moments like these reminded him that Jason was growing into his own person, a well raised young man that would eventually take the world by storm. Bruce felt a lot of pride in him, knowing he would soon be someone who valued his morals and family above all.

The two walked side by side, each one lost in their own thoughts as a comfortable silence fell over the both of them. Jason felt a sense of anticipation, feeling content in his choice of his gift for you that made him feel warm inside, a feeling only he would cherish. Bruce felt a calm and relaxing feeling, the day a reminder of how in the midst of their complex lives, the both of them could still have mundane and normal lives outside of the night.

The dining room of Wayne Manor was filled with the fresh smell of a well-prepared home cooked meal, thanks to Alfred’s gift for cooking. The food was set up nicely at the table, everything well laid for the family to share their weekly family dinner as tradition.

Jason was wearing his normal home attire, a pair of dark jeans and an oversized hoodie as he leaned back in his chair, looking at some texts from his classmates from school for the midterm study group he had. Bruce eyed him, clearing his throat before Jason tucked his phone away.

Bruce was stuck about his no phone at the table rule.

Bruce sat at the head of the table, quietly looking over his meal as the both of them waited for the final member to join them at the table. The atmosphere was quiet and calm, a normal and common aura that Jason had grown used to. The quiet was short lived when he heard his older brother barge through the front door and greet Alfred, making his way to the dining room and placing two hands on Jason’s shoulders.

“Hey Jay, how’s it going”, he smirked, poking Jason’s cheek as Jason swatted him away.

“Screw off, Dick.”, Jason pushed his older brother away, rolling his eyes as Dick walked over to greet Bruce before sitting down at the table.

“So, how’s life as Boy Wonder, been enjoying it? God I hope you’re bringing it justice, can’t have you tarnishing the Robin name”, Dick was as overdramatic as he was charismatic and charming, but Jason looked up to his older brother even if he wouldn’t admit it out loud.

“Doing just fine. Been doing more for the Robin name than you ever could”, Jason smirked as Bruce smiled at himself.

“Ooo, you’re playful today. What’s got you in a good mood?”, Dick leaned forward, taking a bite of his food as he raised an eyebrow at Jason.

“Nothing.”, he said in a neutral tone.

“Nah, what’s going on?”, Dick continued. “Oh, is it a girl? Alfred told me about how you bought a $5,000 necklace for a mystery person”

“Master Dick, please keep me out of your teasing”, Alfred said as he placed another pitcher of water on the table, replacing the empty one.

“C’mon, you can’t tell me you haven’t noticed that Jason’s been less grumpy the past few weeks”, Dick smirked, “There’s something going on, c’mon Jay, spill.”

Jason narrowed his eyes, “Drop it, Dick.”

“You’re the one being all secretive. C’mon what happened to us telling each other everything? Besides, you’re starting to creep me out. You’re never this happy”

The annoyance radiated off of Jason as he glared at his older brother. He might be the golden boy but he was an annoyance more than anything.

Bruce finally decided to stop keeping his silence, speaking across the table at his adoptive sons. “Dick, let Jason have his privacy.”

“Ugh, fine”, Dick rolled his eyes, going back to his food but not before getting in his final words. “You owe me details later”, he said as he pointed his fork at Jason who ignored him. As Dick relaxed into his seat, Alfred chimed in regardless of how he just asked to be left out of the conversation.

“Master Jason’s mood has improved significantly over the past few weeks.”, Alfred said casually, Jason slumping in his seat. “It’s nice to see him engaged and happy for a change.”

Bruce glanced at Jason, before looking over at Alfred, “Indeed. It’s good to see some change around here.”

The rest of the dinner was quiet, only filled with talk about Dick’s new job and how he and Barbara were supposed to go out for dinner in a week. Bruce only added in where the conversation needed it as well as Alfred. Jason ignored the conversation entirely, his mind entirely else where as he tried to focus on finishing dinner and retreating to his room.

When dinner finished, Jason walked to the back of the house, stepping into the cool air as he looked at the pool that was in the backyard, enjoying the quiet. The sound of the sliding door opening made him turn around, then turn away in annoyance.

“So, you gonna share what’s got you so happy?”, Dick teased. “Are you trying to keep her a secret?”, Jason looked away as Dick wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “Ah, c’mon. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Back when I was Robin, I had all of the girls after me. It was a bit of a problem honestly.”

“Yeah, but you also couldn’t keep a girlfriend. You’re a dog, Dick.”, Jason muttered.

“Ah, c’mon. Who is she? Is she cute? What is she like? Well she has to be pretty mature to tolerate someone as broody as you.”, Dick continued as he ruffled Jason’s hair, the annoyance seeping deeper into Jason’s bones.

“Dick, leave Jason alone.”, Bruce had stepped out into the yard, having a basketball in hand as he walked over to both the boys.

“Hell yeah, 2 v. 1?”, Dick asked with a smirk, and Bruce sent one back.”C’mon Jay, you and me against the old man.”

Jason smirked at his older brother, following behind him as the three of them moved over to the basketball court and continued the evening with a friendly basketball game. The sense of normalcy falling over the family as thoughts of Jason’s improved mood began to slip away into the night, the only focus on the game the three of them played.

One Week Later

The dining room of the manor was quiet, the occasional clink of silverware ringing out through the silence. Bruce sat across from Jason at the table, enjoying the meal Alfred had prepared for the night. Despite having a nice dinner and the ambiance being calm, Jason felt distant, distracted, and his thoughts all over the place.

Bruce watched him from across the table, noticing Jason’s distracted behavior. “Something on your mind, Jason?”

Jason’s eyes snapped towards Bruce, looking back down at his place with furrowed brows. “Nothing. Just… a lot on my mind recently.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”, Bruce hummed.

“It’s just… it’s nothing.”

“You know you can talk to me right? You don’t have to keep everything bottled up.”, Bruce said openly, hoping Jason would take his offer to help.

Jason only sighed, his mind still all over the place and couldn’t think straight. “It’s complicated. I’d rather just not get into it.”, he shifted in his seat.

“Is it about that girl you’ve been sneaking out to see in the middle of the night?”, Bruce spoke calmly as he raised his fork to his mouth and took a bite of his food. Jason straightened, looking at Bruce from across the table.

“How did you..”

Bruce raised an eyebrow at him, his gaze steady. “I’m a detective, Jason. Don’t act like I wouldn’t have figured it out eventually.”

Jason’s face flushed slightly, a mix of embarrassment and frustration crossing his features. “Are you going to make me stop seeing her?”

Bruce’s expression changed slightly, though his voice remained firm. “No. As long as it doesn’t affect your performance in the field, I’m not going to interfere. But you know what happens if she gets too involved.”

Jason’s eyes met Bruce’s, “I know. I’ve been careful.”

“You need to keep a balance. If your personal life starts compromising your work, it will become a problem. But I trust you to manage that.”

Jason’s shoulders relaxed a fraction, though his mind was clearly still preoccupied. “Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind.”

The dinner continued in silence, Jason’s thoughts still spinning as they led back to you. He was struggling with the choice of telling you about who he was. Would Bruce even let him or would he shut down the idea immediately? That would be something to get into another time but for the time being Jason just wanted nothing more but to ensure that he was careful.

He’d never forgive himself if you somehow got tangled up in his work in the field. He’d make sure that never happened.

Even if his life depended on it.

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆

Your laugh filled the air as Jason continued to tell you about his latest mission with Bruce and how he managed to knock out a bunch of Penguin’s goons when Bruce had cornered them after trying to rob a bank. He watched as the brightness in your eyes met his gaze, making him feel like he was on top of the world.

“It was great”, he smiled brightly, his cheeks hurting from laughing for the past 15 minutes. “So, what about you? Anything exciting?”

You rolled your eyes as you played with the small ninja star he had let you hold. He’d always showed you the least dangerous weapons in his utility belt, aka those that couldn’t explode while you messed with it.

“Not really.”, you smiled. “Oh, well maybe this might be interesting.”

He leaned back on his hands, letting his hair fall over his forehead instead of pushing it back. “Okay, shoot.”

“There’s this guy at school who keeps trying to talk to me and I don’t know what his deal is but it’s kinda annoying.”

Jason raised an eyebrow, trying to hold back a smirk. “Annoying how?”

“He’s always trying to get my attention, like he’s constantly hovering around me. He’s nice enough, but it feels like he’s just trying too hard. I don’t get it.”

Jason’s lips curled into a knowing grin as he tried to suppress a chuckle. “Sounds like he’s a bit overzealous.”

You glanced at him, sensing his amusement but not understanding the reason behind it. “Yeah, tell me about it. It’s like he doesn’t get the hint.”

Jason just laughed, letting himself enjoy the naivety you had. “Sometimes people do weird things. Maybe he just wants to be your friend.”

“I don’t need friends.”

“So what does that make me then?”, he moved his head towards you.

“A pain in my ass”, you smiled at him and Jason moved his hands towards his chest in a stabbing motion as shoved him gently while he laughed.

“You seem to think its funny when it’s not”

“Just give the guy a chance, maybe he’ll be more than you expect.”, he shrugged nonchalantly.

“I think I’ll pass. Besides I don’t need anyone else, I have you.”, you said as you hugged your knees to your chest and laid your head on them, watching him as your hair fell over your arm but framed your face perfectly.

The night continued in ease, the both of you catching up after a week of not seeing each other, the smile on Jason’s face never leaving. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on his: he knew he was the reason for your annoyance but he enjoyed seeing this feisty side of you. When he first saw you in school you were standoffish, closed off, maybe from moving to such an elite school full of people from a different life than you. He knew that feeling of assuming everyone saw him as a nobody, the only thing saving him was the Wayne name.

He wished it could be as easy for you as it was for him.

Maybe then it’d be easier to tell you about everything.

┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆ ┆ ┆ ┆ ┆⋆

Today was one of the few times Jason and you were able to go out in daylight to enjoy yourselves together. It wasn’t often that he would meet with you in civilian clothing, but for some reason he wanted both of you to go out to the park. It was starting to get warmer and he figured a springtime walk wouldn’t hurt. He pushed his sunglasses up, watching as you stopped to look at everything in the ground.

The flowers were starting to bloom and the trees started to grow buds that were slowly opening. It was a pretty sight indeed, not to mention the little family of ducks swimming in the lake right at the heart and center of the park.

“It’s all so pretty don’t you think?”, you turned towards him as he stood there with his hands in his pockets smiling at you. He soaked in the sight of you looking at the flowers and kneeling to watch the small ducklings.

It wasn’t often the two of you would go out like this together but moments like this were the exact reason he preferred going out than just being confined to the four corners of the roof. “Yeah it is. It’s a nice change for once.”

You looked up at him, your eyes sparkling with joy. “I didn’t realize you liked nature so much. I would’ve guessed you preferred staying perched on that roof.”

He chuckled, something he knew you admired about him. “I do like it, but some days it’s nice to just be in nature and not think about anything else. Disconnect from the city to connect with nature. That kind of thing.”

You stood up, brushing off your pants and walking towards him. “I mean we’re technically still in the city.”, you teased.

“You get what I mean.”, he laughed as the both of you continued down the nature trail around the lake. He fell into step with you, both of you moving together with ease as you soaked in the rest of the sun and the gentle warmth it brought onto you.

After a while, you both reached a nearby bench under a massive oak tree, its branches providing a small amount of shade as the both of you sat under it. You had stopped talking and looked down at the grass, Jason staring at you in concern.

“Hey, you okay?”, he asked softly.

“Yeah, it’s just… I’ve been thinking a lot.”, you murmured.

“Thinking about what?”, his brows furrowed as he waited for your response, worried he might’ve done something wrong to make you upset. The last thing he wanted was to make you feel upset.

“Just, you know a lot about me. You know what I look like, my birthday, the school I go to, the family and it feels like I don’t know anything like that about you.”, you looked up at him with vulnerable eyes. “I feel like it’s a bit unfair”, you let out an airy laugh.

“Y/n, you know I would tell you if I could.”, he answered. “It’s just… it’s complicated because..”, he trailed off as a couple walked by, waiting for them to be out of distance before continuing. “Because of my job.”

“I know, I know and I’m not expecting anything crazy it’s just..”, you trailed off again. “I mean… I wish I could know you.”, you whispered, your hands in your lap as you messed with the end of your sweater. “I wish I could know the real you.”

His heart skipped a beat in his chest, staring at you as he let your words sink in. The very thing he had been contemplating over the past few weeks were the very thing you just said you wanted. Was this the opening he needed to show himself to you?

He smiled weakly, looking at you with a warm gaze even though you couldn’t see it. “I know”, he murmured. It was all he could say.

He leaned in, your eyes watching him with observant eyes as he grabbed your hand from your lap and stroking it gently. You soaked in his warmth and he could sense the desperation in your soul. The desire to know him, the desire to see his face, to know who he really was. He wanted that too. More than anything.

He leaned closer towards you, reaching up to push your hair behind your ear as he caressed your cheek and leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a gentle yet emotionally charged kiss. You leaned into his, your hand squeezing his as he deepened the kiss. Your body soaked him in, wanting to feel his presence and him yours.

After what felt like an eternity, Jason pulled away, touching his forehead with yours as he looked into your eyes. He felt it right then. The answer he’d been looking for the past few weeks. He knew what he wanted.

He wanted you.

Wanted to tell you who he was, wanted you to be a part of his life for however long you’d let him be there. He wanted to tell you his real name, wanted to introduce you to Bruce and Dick, wanted to show you how he trained for his missions and tell you how he was the guy from school.

He needed this.

He needed you.

The tension in the Batcave was palpable, the argument between Jason and Bruce growing more intense as Jason continued to push for his ask. The both of them stood facing each other, the dim lighting casting shadows over their faces as they stood face to face, both in their respective suits. The argument had been going for what felt like forever, both of them holding firm in their stance.

“Jason. No.”, Bruce said, his voice filled with a deep seriousness and an overwhelming sense of authority, but it didn’t stop Jason like it normally would have. “You can’t tell her. It’s too dangerous.”

“Bruce, I trust her.”, Jason’s frustration was evident as he continued to push for this. “I don’t want to keep hiding who I am from her, what kind of relationship is that? What kind of person would that make me to keep seeing her and just lie to her about who I am?”

“It puts everyone at risk!”, Bruce stood tall, and even though Jason was a good foot shorter, he pushed his shoulders up, his posture matching Bruce’s as he held his gaze.

“I won’t keep lying to her.”

Bruce’s face hardened, the weight of his responsibility as both a father and a protector clear in his eyes. “If you tell her who you are, she has to know about Dick and me. That’s putting her at risk—and us. You have to understand the implications.”

“How is this any different than you and Selina? How long did it take before Selina found out who you were?”, Jason used his trump card, his desperation seeping through.

“That’s different, Jason.”

“How?! You two are basically always flirting and going out and you both know each other’s identities.” Jason felt himself growing frustrated with Bruce. “She knows who you are, you’re always going out with her and you both have been open about your double lives. Why can’t I have the same thing?”

Bruce sighed, seeing the resolve in Jason’s eyes. He knew well how rare it was for Jason to trust someone, it had taken him almost two years to trust Bruce, so him asking to share who he was with his mystery girl wasn’t something to take lightly. The depth of feeling Jason held towards you was clear and Bruce could see it from miles away. If it wasn’t for that fact, Bruce would have strictly shut down Jason’s request.

“Bruce, please. I’m asking you to trust me on this. She’s the only person I want to share this with. I know she won’t say anything. Please, I can’t keep lying to her,” Jason’s voice wavered slightly, his emotions laid bare.

Bruce looked at him for a long moment, weighing the risks but even in his contemplation he could see Jason’s trust in you. After a moment of tense silence, Bruce spoke in the same firmness but with a hint of resignation.

“Do you trust her?”

“Yes, I do.”, Jason spit the words out faster than he would’ve liked but he didn’t care. He wanted this more than anything.

“Alright,” Bruce said, finally giving in. “You can tell her, but under one condition. If anything happens—if she’s put in danger or if you let this affect your duties—you’ll be benched from patrol and training for an entire year. That’s non-negotiable.”

“Fine, yes, deal. Thank you so much.”

Without thinking, and for the first time since he’d been taken in, Jason moved towards Bruce and hugged him. It was simple yet surprising for Bruce. With slowed hands, Bruce returned the hug briefly before Jason pulled back, a slight smile tugging on his lips as he grabbed his robin mask from where it was set on the Batcomputer.

Jason quietly nodded towards Bruce, turning towards the exit of the cave and heading towards the elevator that led up to the manor. Jason couldn’t help but feel on top of the world, his heart pumping in his chest on how he would tell you. He wanted to do it within the next week, wanted to get it out of the way as soon as possible.

He wanted you to know him as him.

Just him. Just as Jason.

That would be more than enough.

A little less than a week went by, Jason’s entire world came crashing in. He received a note from a woman claiming to be his mother. Bruce had been there to analyze the note and check its validity, proving itself to be an authorized note. Jason felt himself desperate for answers, why his mother abandoned him, why he was forced to live on the streets for so long.

“Bruce, I have to go”

“No. It could be a trap.”

“Bruce, if she’s claiming to be my mother, I want to know.” Jason pleaded. He needed answers, he needed that closure from the trauma the streets had caused him.

Bruce stayed firm in his resolve. “Jason, you aren’t thinking clearly. This could be a trap, there is no reason to believe this could be your actual mother.”

Jason’s eyes grew darker, his face illuminated by the harsh light of the Batcomputer, showcasing the mix of anger and desperation. “Do you know what it’s like, Bruce?”, his voice wavered slightly. “To live with that void of never knowing why your mother left you? Not knowing why you were abandoned? I know you lost your parents because of someone else’s selfishness but wouldn’t you do anything to see them again and not be left alone in this city? Please… Please let me meet her. I need this.”

Bruce’s gaze hardened, his thoughts contemplating. He knew the feeling of the void all too well, it was something he wished could’ve been different for his younger self, and even though Jason had a point in wanting to connect with his mother as the abandoned son, Bruce couldn’t let him go. His protective instinct and intuition couldn’t let him. “If you go without proper planning you could end up in danger. This isn’t just about reconnecting, it’s your safety on the line too. You need to be smart about this.”

Jason’s anger flared. “So what? I should just sit here and do nothing while you make the decision for me? I’m tired of being left in the dark! I need to do this.”

After another long moment of back and forth, Bruce made his final decision, turning to head back to the manor as he left an emotionally overwhelmed and defeated Jason alone in the cave. The glow of the computer screens illuminated his face as he clenched his fists. The cave, usually Jason’s comfort place, felt like a prison. Bruce’s words echoing through the space as he stood still in place.

His mind raced with the details of the note, replaying every word and the hope it had sparked. The unresolved trauma of his past felt like a heavy weight pressing down on him, and he could almost hear the echoes of his younger self, yearning for answers that had been so cruelly withheld.

He let out a sigh of defeat, letting his shoulders slump as he went to get out of his uniform, taking off his utility belt as he let himself contemplate his options of where to go from here. He wanted to go but the more logical side of him knew Bruce had a point, yet something inside of him made him think if he could go at it alone. Would it help keep his sanity if he could just meet his estranged mother?

The thought contemplated in his mind as he continued to undress and change into his night attire. His mind still all over the place but a subtle hint of rebellion lingering inside of him.

If Bruce wouldn’t let him, he knew he would have to do this on his own. At Least for the sake of his sanity.

Jason felt his heart pumping in his chest at a record speed, he felt on top of the world at the news he’d tell you. He arrived at the roof of the usual spot the two of you would always meet, calming himself down before walking over to where he could see you looking down at the street.

“(Y/n), I have to tell you something.”, he called out, wrapping his arms around you. He noticed how you had to crane your head up to look at him, the height difference made his heart flutter. He noticed the necklace around your neck, the necklace he got for your 15th birthday that brought out how beautiful your eyes were. He didn’t just choose the emerald stone for you, he picked it out to match his own hues. To secretly know he was with you always.

“W-what is it?”, he heard the slight worry in your voice, but he smiled at you to help ease your nerves. His heart pounding in his chest, taking your hands before he spoke.

“I know that we.. we’ve been..seeing each other, and I know you feel the same things that I do.”, the rush of adrenaline causing his heart to beat faster, you’d be the first to know outside the family who he really was.

The real Jason.

You’d get to meet him, his family, see into his life as Jason and not as Robin.

“I want to tell you who I am, beneath the mask, beneath the Robin suit. I want to take it further. I just need to do something else first.” , he felt relief wash over him as the words left his mouth, a burden he hadn’t realized he was carrying was now lifted. He saw you stiffen, your eyes filled with concern and uncertainty.

“I’ll be gone for a few days, so don’t think I’m abandoning you, okay? But I promise, when I come back, we’ll get a real date. You’ll know me as… me. I promise, okay? Wait for me, okay?”, the words left his lips all too fast, praying that you would wait for him, praying that you would have him and let him have you too. He saw you nod your head and hug him, his arms wrapping tightly around you, the words so close from leaving his lips at that moment.

He grabbed your face and kissed you and you kissed back. The kiss was tender yet filled with every emotion he had bottled up. Your lips moved against his, feeling the surge of euphoria flow through his body. His heart exploded and he was like the happiest guy alive right then. He would come back, he would tell you his name, he would be yours and everything would be perfect.

He swore on his life he would come back and find you.

He would tell you the words that were desperate to leave his lips.

He tasted the promise of a future together, and the world seemed to narrow down to just the two of you.

You were the only thing he wanted.

The stinging coursed through his body, the pain all-consuming. Jason felt every hit, every cracking sound of his bones, all the pain seemed to flood his body almost like every blow was carving itself into his very essence. It left him raw and exposed. He couldn’t find a way out, even with his blurred vision, he couldn’t even see where he was. His bones ached, his ribs burning him from the inside out because of the pain.

“Which hurts more? A or B? Backhand or forehand?”, the maniacal clown asked out loud, the crowbar making contact with his already broken bones. Jason could feel each of his bones screaming in pain. He silently prayed that Bruce would be here. Silently prayed that he would come save him.

How had he ended up here? Why hadn’t he heeded Bruce’s warnings? The questions tormented him, swirling in his mind like a storm. Did Bruce even know he was missing? Was there any chance of rescue?

The laughter echoed through the empty warehouse, the nightmarish sound echoed within the walls leaving Jason feeling haunted by the maniac that was beating him. The only thing that could be heard for miles was the Joker’s hysterical laughs. Laughs that seemed to burn themselves into Jason’s memory. Jason tried to muster the strength to speak, his voice coming out as a ragged, barely audible whisper. Joker yanked Jason’s head up by his hair, forcing him to meet his gaze.

“Ah, ah? Speak a little louder lamb chop, I think you might have a collapsed lung”, Jason spit the blood from his mouth into the Joker’s face. Joker’s response was swift and brutal—he slammed Jason down onto the concrete with a sickening thud.

The pain was eating him alive, how could he be so naive? Why didn’t he just listen to Bruce? Where was he? Did Bruce know he was missing?

When the hits stopped, he heard the door close, the heavy silence fell over the warehouse signaling Joker’s departure. The stiffness settled into his body and he lifted himself from the ground, trying to walk before he collapsed again. His thoughts were focused on getting out, the intensity of the situation starting to settle in.

His thoughts became a frantic whirl of fear and desperation. He dragged himself toward the door, his hands shaking as he fumbled with the handle. It was stuck, locked from the outside. Panic surged through him, making the pain in his ribs feel even more excruciating. The sense of hopelessness grew with every second that passed.

At that moment, he could only think of you. The nights you had spent together, the countless hours on the roof, the laughter, the warmth of your smile, spending your birthday together—every moment flashed back to him with vivid clarity it was almost unbearable. It all crashed back to him. He never thought that night three days ago would be the last time he’d hold you, the last time he’d feel your lips on his. Your presence forever burned into his memory, a bittersweet reminder of what he was losing.

A ticking noise grew louder, an insistent and chilling sound that filled the warehouse with an air of impending doom. Jason forced himself to look at the countdown timer mounted on the crates along the wall—ten seconds left before the explosives would obliterate the entire structure.

10…

The reality of his situation settled in, a cold, hard fact that there was no escaping the end that was so close.

9…

He knew that it was done.

The weight of unfulfilled dreams and missed opportunities pressed heavily on him. The simple joys of life with you—late nights, shared moments, future plans—were slipping away, forever lost.

8…

He felt his world crashing in, the reality of never having been able to take you on a real date.

The awareness of never truly discovering who he was, of never having the chance to share his world with you, was a bitter pill to swallow. The chance to explore new horizons was vanishing.

7…

The reality of never knowing who he was. Never getting to meet his family, never welcoming you into his world, never experiencing new places together or even getting to see each other again.

The thought of never hearing his real name spoken with affection by you again was a sharp, painful reminder of what he was losing. The intimacy and connection he longed for were slipping through his fingers.

6…

The sorrow of never being able to call you his, of never again feeling the comfort and warmth of your presence, was a deep, hollow ache.

5…

Never getting to feel you near him again.

4…

Never getting the chance to tell you how much he loved you.

3…

He closed his eyes and rested his head back, accepting the inevitable. He silently sent a prayer to whatever being out there that existed that you knew how much he loved you, even when he never said it out loud. That you would be okay without him, that you wouldn’t lose hope.

The weight of his regrets and the finality of his fate pressed down on him, making the seconds feel like an eternity.

He braced himself, his mind filled with memories of you, a final testament to the love and life he wished he could have shared with you.

The explosion was instantaneous. The warehouse was consumed in a blinding flash, a forceful wave that ripped through the structure with deafening intensity. The world shattered into chaos, the ticking stopped, and everything that had been a part of his final moments was obliterated.

In the midst of the destruction, there was a final, eerie silence—a silence that spoke of the end of pain and the conclusion of the torment. It was a silence where his love for you lingered, a final, unspoken testament to what had been and what might have been.

A/N:

I had been wanting to do an entire chapter from Jason's POV for a minute and had the flashback chapter in my mind for a while. I really hope you guys enjoyed this! Also just letting you know that new upload days will be Sundays! This just works easier for my schedule since I draft everything throughout the week and spend weekends editing so Sundays work best for me!

Again, thank you guys for all the love and support on this series, I think we only have 5 or 6 chapters left before the end?! It went by SO fast!

And also thank you for the love and support on my Sukuna x Reader story: Love of My Life! It's been doing so well and it makes me so happy that it's been received well.

Thank you guys again and see you next week! xx.

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