#I hope it really was Shaun in the giant race

[jessieren]

Never too late for Sweaty Shaun in a white t shirt

I'm sorry, I've been falling behind lately, my trip to London is approaching and I still have many things to take care of before departure ...

I hope you'll be delighted by a few videos featuring a white t-shirt in the spotlight and a sweaty Shaun as a bonus ...

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date.  I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole. 

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time. 

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances. 

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts. 

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet: 

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better.  And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia. 

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad. 

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be. 

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow. 

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode. 

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it. 

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me. 

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile. 

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line. 

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters.  But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum. 

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof.  Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on. 

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know. 

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot  surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting.  My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow. 

[caprithebunny]

The End Made a Beginning, Chapter 1

October 23, 2287 For a second time, I felt that unnatural chill withdraws from my body and discomfort as my lungs filled with air. My heart raced as I banged on my pod door. I don’t understand how or why I was being released, but that’s not what mattered. I clambered out, coughing as stale air filled my lungs. I lunged to Nate’s control stand, frantic to get his pod open. Surely what I had seen was a horrid, horrid dream. Nate and Shaun were fine and just simply… Frozen. But as the pod door lifted, and all I saw was the lifeless, frozen, alone body of my husband, reality hit me. My knees gave out from underneath me. For a long moment, all I could do was stare at his face. My eyes followed the burn along the left side of his face that spread to his shoulder. He was out on deployment and was hit with a Molotov cocktail. I looked to his coarse, auburn hair, and, even though I couldn’t see them, his forest green eyes. I memorized his face, before slowly, shakily reaching out and taking his wedding ring off. I stared at it in my hand, realizing what all of this meant. Finally, I stood. “I swear, Nate, I’ll find Shaun… And kill whoever did this.” My voice didn’t sound like my own. It sounded cold, harsh. I turned away and had started to walk down the walkway, away from Nate, away from the broken promise of a new life… When I looked back. One last time. And then, I walked out. Outside of Vault 111 As the platform shuddered to a stop, I gasped in lungfuls of fresh air, and looked around. All of the area looked… Dead. Skeletons littered the ground, the Vault-Tec vans’ paint had rusted away, and the windows were bashed in. I shifted the bag on my shoulder. I found it in the sleeping quarters and filled it with small things I thought would help: bullets, stimpacks, bandages. There wasn’t much left in the Vault… Other than the roaches. Seriously, fuck those roaches. I shivered, remembering how one had actually tried to run at me; luckily, I had thought to grab a security baton. Still doesn’t discount the really gross squishy-crunch the roaches made when hit. I also picked up a 10mm pistol, and managed to find a relatively intact holster. Found a still working Pip-Boy; while it was relatively heavy and bulky, I figured it’d be better off in my hands. I slowly stepped down from the platform, and decided to rummage through what was left of the supplies in the clearing. Turns out, there was still some untouched, or well, relatively untouched items. I managed to find quite a bit of food, some more 10mm ammo, and a few more stimpacks. I picked up a final can of Cram, and snorted. “Runs out in… never.” Chucking it into the backpack, I started for, well… home. I slowly set off back down the path to Sanctuary Hills, my breath catching as I came closer, the chilling butterflies in my stomach picking up in intensity. Not even the odd plant life could push any of it away; not the strange bell-shaped blue flowers, nor the blood-red water plants. As I stepped over boundary, into Sanctuary, I felt so sick I thought I might puke. I didn’t want to remember, I didn’t want to think anymore about what had happened. I had to stay focused; there was no time to grieve while Shaun was gone. But… The idea of crumbling kept nagging as I made my way down the street, to my house. There were tears pricking my eyes when I saw someone I didn’t think I’d even see again. “Codsworth!” ~ A while later, after catching up with Codsworth and explaining what had happened, he pointed me in the direction of Concord. While I had no hopes that Shaun would be there, maybe… Just maybe, there would be some answers. Some help in finding him. But before I even thought about heading out, I wanted to sleep. Just… Sleep. I stepped into my house, and a certain… emptiness. Loneliness and loss crept through me as I fell onto what remained of my couch: somehow, the world ended didn’t have an effect of it. As much as I would have preferred it, sleep didn’t come first; no, the tears did. But they brought sleep; an emotionally-exhausted, dreamless sleep. I woke up several hours later; it had been around late evening when I laid down. It was still rather dark outside, but the sky was beginning to appear lighter as I watched. However, I hadn’t woke up on my own accord; cooking food had tempted me into it. I sat up, stretched, and heard a holotape move in another small bag I had found while talking to Codsworth earlier. I lightly placed a hand over the bag; it was a tape Codsworth had given me, though it was meant to be a gift from Nate. I wasn’t ready to watch it yet. Thought, in the back of my mind, I wondered if I ever would. I stood up, and hobbled outside; apparently, sleeping oddly on your leg does you no favors. Codsworth had made a small fire in the middle of the street, upon which he had a skillet with slabs of Cram in. It honestly smelled delicious, especially since I felt I could eat four cans of said food and still have room for more. “Ah! Good morning, mum! I figured 210 years late to both dinner and breakfast would render one eager for food.” I chuckled, and dragged a chair from the kitchen outside to sit on. Suppose some refueling could not hurt. After eating, I finally headed on to Concord. It was very early morning, and I could hear ravens crowing in trees. They seemed to be the only ones there, unfortunately… As I passed over the bridge heading out of Sanctuary, I found a man dressed in shabby clothing, dead along side a grotesque-looking dog. As distasteful as it was, I picked up the tire iron from between them, and checked the man’s pockets, along with a duffle bag he’d appeared to have thrown near the suburb’s statue. Luckily, more bullets were there to find. I headed to the local Red Rocket, only to stop in my tracks. There was a dog, seemingly untouched by the radiation. He looked like he was waiting for someone or something, and before I could hide, the dog saw me. I froze, tire iron in hand, unsure of what to do. The dog barked, and cheerfully jogged over to me. When he reached me, he barked again, wagged his tail, and stretched. Figuring the dog was harmless, I slowly knelt and extended my hand to him. He licked my hand eagerly, before rubbing his face against my hand for pets. Laughing, I obliged him. “Friendly, huh? You wanna come with me, boy?” He barked again and danced around in a circle. Taking that as a yes, I went ahead and searched the Red Rocket for supplies. I know I’m on a time crunch, but any little thing that can aid me in my hunt for my son was something I needed. Suddenly, I heard angry barking from the dog and the sounds of something… bursting from the ground. Grabbing my gun, I ran outside to find overgrown naked mole rats. I had always thought they were rather ugly, even if they made good pets. These ones, though… They had large, bulging white eyes, wrinkly, furless pink skin with odd bubbling in patches, enormous, jagged, yellow teeth, and too-large claws, so their movements were even more uncoordinated. Thanking the practice sessions Nate had insisted on, I helped the dog dispatch them; still got a rather nasty bite on my leg, but nothing too serious. I cleaned it, wrapped it, and stimpack’d it, before heading on. A few minutes later, after killing two giant, skin-crawlingly disgusting mosquitoes, I was hiding behind a car as a mismatched group of men and women brought hell upon the old Museum. There was a black man in a very… 1700s-looking outfit. He was holding off the group, but only just. I had never killed someone, nor have I ever truly wanted to. But if I didn’t do something he’d be killed, and that’s not something I would be able to live with. An innocent person needing help, but me not giving it. So, I aimed from my hiding spot, and took aim at one of the farther off raiders.

[friedesgreatscythe]

33-39 for buffy! ;3

yaaaaaaaaaas ty bb!( and i asked you a few about yours, too!)

What is their combat style? Whatrange do they prefer? Do they sneak?

Buffie’s melee, because she knows next to nothing about guns (apart from ‘you point and shoot and never put your finger on the trigger unless you really wanna kill someone’ which, well, terrifies her lol), so she just flails wildly with something heavy, hoping they’ll drop. She prefers not to get into fights at all but melee necessitates close range, so she’ll do that only when necessary. She sneaks as much as she can, but her knees crack too much and she gets light-headed easily from all the stooping so stealth’s a gamble.

What weapon(s) do they alwayscarry with them?

A baseball bat wrapped in chains and studded with nails. She’s the Swatter guy’s best customer!

Their most prized possession?

Shaun’s “You’re SPECIAL!” book and a small race car she salvaged from his room in Sanctuary, and her wedding ring/Nate’s ring (she’s a sap).

Their thoughts on power armor?

She finds them really disturbing on premise alone, and the fact that they’re one of the few things that exist in working condition from pre-war times in post-apoc times horrifies her on a level she finds hard to describe. She looks at them and all she can think of are Nate’s post-war panic attacks about being trapped in one.

Favorite armor/ outfit?

The Vault suit + whatever scrap she can slap onto it to keep herself safe. She does have a soft spot for armored dresses and bathrobes, though, if only because she misses her old clothes so damn much!

How’s their aim? Do their handsshake while pointing a gun?

Her aim is very bad (she’s mostly near-sighted), and her hands shake each time she has to use a weapon, though she notices it less if it’s something mundane like a tire iron, a piece of wood, a baseball bat, etc.

What are their thoughts on havingto kill on a daily bases in order to survive? Does it take a toll on them? Ordo they shake it off rather easily?

She both feels like a monster and like she’s finally able to understand her husband better–although that consolation is too little far too late. She’s nonconfrontational and does her best to just… avoid everything/anything unless it’s absolutely impossible (re: going into the Boston ruins, checking in on Hancock in Goodneighbor). The idea of it alone takes a toll on her, but if it’s giant bugs she doesn’t really bat an eye (because fuck you, bugs). Ghouls especially bother her, and when she found the ghoul horde that were all her pre-war neighbors she refused to pick up a weapon for almost a week. Nick had to have a Sit Down Serious Talk with her about it.

[goarticletec-blog]

A Lazy Person's Guide to the 2018 Winter Olympics

New Post has been published on https://www.articletec.com/a-lazy-persons-guide-to-the-2018-winter-olympics/

A Lazy Person's Guide to the 2018 Winter Olympics

The Summer Olympics are not designed for the lazy person. It’s hard to feel good about yourself, lounging in a La-Z-Boy and crushing some beers, while nearly-nude specimens are sprinting by in a blur, their muscles rippling and gleaming with sweat.

That’s why the Winter Olympics are so swell. With all the athletes covered up in parkas, ski caps, and goggles, and it being freezing outside in most of the country, being a lazy ass is way more acceptable.

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Of course, the Winter Olympics is more esoteric than the Summer Games. There’s no running, jumping, or throwing shit—the general basis of athletic endeavor. The Winter Games are dominated by sports you’ve never even heard of, can’t believe are real—like, who the hell came up with skeleton?—or can’t afford to play anyway.

There’s no time to learn everything, so you’ll need a lazy person’s crash course to the two-week spectacle.

1. It’s being held in South Korea.

That’s the “good” one. (Although host city PyeongChang is just 50 miles from the demilitarized zone separating North and South Korea.)

2. They’ve hosted once before.

Ben Johnson before the start of the 100 meter semi-final in Seoul, South Korea, in 1988.

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That time it was the 1988 Summer Olympics in Seoul, 78 miles west of PyeongChang. It was the last-ever Olympics to include the Soviet Union and East Germany. That was also the Olympics that a ’roided-up Ben Johnson ran the 100 meters in, like, four seconds.

3. North Korea is participating.

The North and South Koreans formed a joint team. That should go smoothly.

4. Russia isn’t competing, though.

The Olympic Athletes of Russian during PyeongChang opening ceremonies.

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That’s because of mass doping allegations. Nevertheless, certain (clean) Russian athletes are competing. I know, it’s odd. They’ll march under a flag for OAR, Olympic Athletes of Russia.

5. It’s already tomorrow in PyeongChang.

South Korea is 14 hours ahead of the East Coast. That means whatever you are watching on primetime TV is probably live and NBC can’t do their typical bullshit where they edit taped events together like some reality show and then tease the one event you actually want to watch for three hours before airing it a few minutes before midnight.

6. The one U.S. Olympian you’ve probably heard of is still pretty good.

Many experts place Lindsey Vonn as the favorite in the women’s downhill, even though since the 2014 Olympics she’s severely fractured her humerus, suffered a major back injury, made Toni Lehren yell on Fox News (but who hasn’t?), and faced typical airlines nonsense to actually get to Korea.

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7. Oh wait, you’ve heard of Shaun White, too.

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Remember the Flying Tomato? He’s still pretty good at snowboarding and a contender in the halfpipe—despite the fact that late last year he crashed so badly he needed 62 stitches. Even if he doesn’t win, he’s worth $40 million, which will buy a lot of Mountain Dew Ice and legalized edibles.

8. Is that Bode Miller guy still around?

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No. Er, yes, but he’s now an NBC analyst. He’ll probably still figure out a way to clip a gate and crash.

9. Who is going to be the previously unknown U.S. darling of this Olympiad?

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Even after a poor start to his Olympics on Thursday night, 18-year-old figure skating prodigy Nathan Chen is your best bet to make it on a Wheaties box.

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10. The US Hockey team is not the Dream Team.

The Games have gone back to using non-NHL players for the first time since 1994. The U.S. team, made up mostly of washed-up former players like 39-year-old Brian Gionta, is not expected to medal.

11. Just like Ghostbusters, Cool Runnings is being remade with women.

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The Jamaicans sent a women’s team to compete in bobsled this year, and they’ll be driving a rental sled. Even if John Candy comes back from the dead to coach them, they are unlikely to make the podium. (Side note: The Montego Bay airport has a Cool Runnings-themed bar that plays the movie on a loop 24/7. Worth a visit!) Nigeria is also sending a women’s bobsled team to PyeongChang, making it the first African Olympic Team to compete in the sport.

12. Curling rules!

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Curlers wear blousey sweatshirts and ugly slacks and their sporting equipment is a damn broomstick. Yet somehow, this slow-moving sport is incredibly captivating and these curlers are still a ton more flexible than you are. Did you really think a bunch of Molson-guzzling Canadians would play something boring? Plus, for the first time, there’s “mixed doubles” curling this year.

13. Another cool first-time event is mass start speed skating.

It’s like a fucking roller derby on ice!

14. Yet the only event with guns is surprisingly boring.

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That’s biathlon. Cross-country ski for five kilometers, shoot a rifle at a still target, ski some more, shoot some more. So boring. Having said that, Susan Dunklee has a good shot to be the first U.S. Olympian to ever medal in the event.

15. Johnny Weir is still fabulous.

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The figure skating announcer is making Liberace look demure these days and continuing to infuriate the kinds of Twitter users who use Pepe the Frog as their avatar.

16. There’s an openly gay Olympian that refuses to meet Mike Pence.

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The vice president and his wife, Karen, are leading the US delegation in South Korea. Current US figure skater Adam Rippon, the first openly gay American to quality for the Games, made some remarks about Pence last month, telling USA Today: “You mean Mike Pence, the same Mike Pence that funded gay conversion therapy? I’m not buying it.” (The same Mike Pence who President Trump allegedly said wants to hang gay people.) Pence, however, really wants Rippon to know there’s no hard feelings.

.@Adaripp I want you to know we are FOR YOU. Don’t let fake news distract you. I am proud of you and ALL OF OUR GREAT athletes and my only hope for you and all of #TeamUSA is to bring home the gold. Go get ‘em!

— Vice President Mike Pence (@VP) February 8, 2018

17. The hunky Tongan is back.

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Remember Pita Taufatofua walking into the Rio 2016 Opening Ceremony looking like a bucket of Turtle Wax had been dumped over his torso? Well, guess what, he’s back for the Winter Games. He wasn’t particularly great at tae kwon do and he’s not particularly great at cross-country skiing either. As Tonga’s only Winter Olympian he was again their flag bearer and, even with temperatures below freezing in PyeongChang, he went shirtless. Don’t feel bad, he may have better abs, but in two weeks he’ll have the same numbers of Olympic medals as you.

18. The Olympic rivalry most likely to be made into an I, Tonya-like movie in 20 years.

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American Alpine skier Ted Ligety versus Austrian star Marcel Hirscher. Ligety got steamed when a giant slalom race, in Austria of all places, was canceled due to “inclement weather” (even though there wasn’t any) at the same time Hirscher was nursing an injury. Like any good American, Ligety went bonkers on Twitter, which is how we handle things these days as opposed to hiring mustachioed hitmen.

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Seems odd to have a race cancelled at 645am in Austria when their biggest star is temporarily out… 🤔

— Ted Ligety (@tedligety) October 29, 2017

19. No, the U.S. will not win the most overall medals.

Norway, Germany, or even Canada will. Yes, Trump will likely tweet-blame Democrats or undocumented immigrants for this, maybe both.

Aaron Goldfarb is the author of How to Fail: The Self-Hurt Guide, The Guide for a Single Man, and The Guide for a Single Woman. Follow him on Twitter.

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[magiccaughtoncamera]

It’s been a while since I posted on here, and that’s because of a lot of reasons, and I felt it wasn’t really nice to leave you all in the dark. As you might know from my twitter, I have just started my Master’s degree and it hasn’t been easy. This is the third week of lectures and I feel like I’m already way over my head with homework. And on top of that I want to keep working at my part-time job one day in the week, so I barely have free time. And if I have free time, I’m just too mentally exhausted to do anything else than watch Netflix. But as much as I’d like for it to be the only reason I haven’t been blogging, it’s not all.

When I returned from my vacation almost two months ago, I hadn’t posted in weeks (because I was away), and completely fell out of love with blogging. I worked a lot, because I wanted to make some extra hours before going back to uni, and I wanted to spend my free time drawing or reading, and didn’t at all feel like blogging. I just didn’t know what to blog about anymore. And then on top of that, I kind of fell out of love with YA (or at least a little) as I started reading more non-fiction, I found it hard to get excited about new books. Even books I’ve been anticipating for months, I feel ‘meh’ about.

I’ve been following bloggers who read almost exclusively YA, all my friends and mutuals read mostly YA, and I’m guessing there are some people with different tastes, but still overall, it’s mostly YA. You all probably read YA, because you started following me for a reason, I guess, and the thing is that I have been reading YA for the past two years almost exclusively and that’s what my blog has been about. So I know I shouldn’t let that influence what I post about, but what’s the point in posting about books you probably aren’t interested in? It just feels pointless? Or maybe that’s just all in my head.

I want to get back into reading YA and that’s why I wanted to write this post (also because I felt you deserved an explanation for my disappearance). I’m going to go through my goodreads shelves and find those books (mostly YA) that I was anticipating in the hopes it’ll somehow help me get more excited about them.

Picture Us in The Light by Kelly Loy Gilbert is a beautiful book about an Asian gay boy who lives in the US and it’s about family and love and relationships and it seems to be very emotional but a bit slow (according to reviews) but it sounds so good?? And that cover?? *dies*

Sadie by Courtney Summers is about (you guessed it) Sadie. Her friend gets killed and the story gets picked up by a radio dj who gets obsessed with finding out what happened. I am just trash for the entire concept of murder/mystery podcasts in book form (it’s the only reason I still want to read Six Stories by Matt Wesolowski).

Vengeful by V.E. Schwab is the second book in her duology and honestly, it doesn’t matter what she writes, I’ll always be excited to read it! I read Vicious earlier this year and absolutely loved it.

Summer Bird Blue is by the amazing Akemi Dawn Bowman and Starfish was one of the best books I’ve read, so I know this will be so good as well! AND it has an aro/ace-spec questioning main character and that makes me want to cry happy tears. It’s also about a mixed-race (Japanese/Hawaiian/white) girl who loves music!

Muse of Nightmares by Laini Taylor is the sequel to Strange the Dreamer and that was just so well-written! Laini Taylor has such an amazing writing-style, and I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen with my favourite godspawn.

The Past and Other Things That Should Stay Buried by Shaun David Hutchinson, because if you haven’t been paying attention, I LOVE SDH’s books. They’re emotional, original, quirky and weird and ALWAYS very queer and I’m so down for this new book.

A Girl Called Shameless by Laura Steven is the sequel to The Exact Opposite of Okay aka one of my favourite books of this year and that’s enough reason for me to get really excited! The first book was so powerful and feminist and I just adore Izzy and the unique voice she has, I need more of that!

One Giant Leap by Heather Kaczynski is the sequel to Dare Mighty Things which is about a competition for young adults to go into space with an aro/ace/questioning main character (Indian-American) and it honestly feels like this was written for me. Though it had some flaws, I can’t wait to see where the story will take us.

The Disasters by M. K. England just sounds so good! It’s about a bunch of queer outcasts who try to do a heist in space?? Like can it get any better?? So basically what I gather it’s Six of Crows but set in space.

And lastly, but without cover, Not Your Backup by C.B. Lee. This is the third book in the Sidekick Squad series and if I owned this book right now, I would have read it right this second because it’s exactly what could get me out of this slump. It’s about kids with superpowers and everyone is queer and there’s a lot of POC rep and Not Your Backup is about one of the characters that is aro/ace/questioning and I’M HYPED.

Have you seen all these covers?? They’re so gorgeous!! This has definitely helped me remember why I love YA and I just wish I could have all these books right now so they can help me fall back in love but since the majority isn’t even out yet, that’ll be a bit hard… For now, if you have recommendations for what I should try to read next, let me know. I’m looking for something that is quite short and not too slow or lengthy, that’ll drag me in!

I have no idea if I’ll have the time to write more blog posts in the soon future, so I don’t want to make promises I can’t keep. If you want to keep in touch in another way, follow me on twitter (see sidebar) because I will be on twitter quite a bit (mostly to complain about homework).

Do you want to read any of these books? What book helped you out of a slump or made you fall (back) in love with a genre? Give me all your recommendations!

Why I disappeared + Books I’m excited about It's been a while since I posted on here, and that's because of a lot of reasons, and I felt it wasn't really nice to leave you all in the dark.

[cinematological]

Dunkirk, Colossal and Baby Driver (spoilers)

As a former filmmaker & storyboard artist it’s sometimes hard for me to fall into the frame of a film. If the film doesn’t catch me with its visuals or wrench my heart through story and performance I click over to becoming analytical.  I watch for tricks & techniques like interesting blocking, or lens choices or pieces of performance and dialogue. The thing of it is that most films can suck me in and wring me out like a rag, leaving to me to ponder them after I have experienced them.  Dunkirk, Colossal and Baby Driver had me pondering while I was watching, entranced and sometimes perplexed.

Dunkirk is a mechanical masterpiece of relentless tension. Telling a pared down version of the WWII true story of the English retreat from the town of Dunkirk while the German mercilessly surrounded English and French forces as they wait desperately for an escape by sea, the film grabbed me by the throat and never let up. Opening with a delicate sequence of young Brit soldiers searching for food and water as they patrol the abandoned town that devolves as an invisible enemy kills all but one, we are lead to the beach in a grand long shot revealing the scope of the allied forces queued patiently on the beach. Title cards in quick sequence allude to the trick of Dunkirk, non-linear time. The story of the hundreds of thousands of men on the beach takes place over a week. A parallel story of commuter boats racing across the channel from England to France to retrieve the troops is a day. A third story of a British fighter pilot struggling to keep the skies clear from the German air force is over an hour.

The main characters of a soldier on the beach, the retirement aged owner of a small boat, and the pilot aren’t really characters. The dialogue for the entire film would fill a handful of pages. They are chess pieces moving around a board, lunging from one set piece to another in a desperate plea for survival. I didn’t ever care about anything other than the primordial fight or flight reflex of watching another person in jeopardy.

Making the film nonlinear Writer/Director Chris Nolan vacuums the air from the movie, removing all of the peaks and valleys and making the cinematic equivalent of the Loudness War in music. Dunkirk has no dynamic range, just tense moments that grow and grow and never release. It is like having your chest slowly squeezed for 90 minutes and waiting for that long sweet deep breath of release that never comes. The film never has a crescendo. There is no catharsis. It simply ends.

We get to breathe.

Colossal is powerful independent film replete with characters and story, its one trick a fantastical one. An out of work alcoholic (Anne Hathaway) is dumped by her boyfriend and left to sleep on the floor of her parents old empty family home.  In a chance encounter with an elementary schoolmate (Jason Sudekis) she finds a new friend group of alcoholics and starts working at Sudekis’ bar as waitress. In a drunken stumble she wanders back to her family home, trudging through a playground, and once home passes out. When she wakes, she discovers a Kaiju (giant monster) has destroyed downtown Seoul Korea. After a second drunken wander through the park she realizes she IS the Kaiju and is responsible for hundreds if not thousands of deaths.

Hathaway has enormous depth as a former journalist who has not yet hit bottom with her addiction. Sudekis is a revelation, initially is kind and charming, falling easily into type until the film turns, and its metaphor is made clear.

Sudekis also has a giant being he can control: a skyscraper sized robot. While Hathaway initially takes delight in the ridiculousness of controlling this remote enormous creature, her conscious wears on her about the death and destruction she accidentally caused. She goes to great lengths to calm the populace and keep her beast from ever appearing again only to have Sudekis playfully tromp his Robot through the city. She confronts him in the playground, her actions writ large in Seoul as the beast shoves, slaps and motions for the robot to leave. Sudekis does so, only after shoving her to ground, revealing a simmering fury. The next morning, she visits his home, a filthy pit of despair where Sudekis has clawed the face out of photos of his ex-wife and child. He begs forgiveness for being a mean drunk and makes an empty promise only to later threaten her. If she should leave, he will go to the playground and destroy the city mercilessly.

Simultaneously her boyfriend visits her on a flimsy premise of giving a presentation. He confronts her about her drinking, and demeans her for living in this small town and working as a waitress. His frustration at her addiction spews out of him as emotional abuse. They visit the bar, where Sudekis take issue with him, and he sets the bar partially on fire, to make the point that she will never leave.

This is the turn. The first half of the film is a silly and charming character study of barflies and hometowns. With all of the pieces in play it reveals itself to be a drama about addiction and spousal abuse. Hathaway is trapped with a man who is willing to harm innocents (Seoul standing in for children) after being abandoned by a man who controls her through co-dependence. She rebuffs Sudekis who then turns back to the playground with the intent of causing mass destruction. Confronted once again, he batters her, leaving her helpless to watch as he stomps across the sand, causing untold loss of life without remorse. Sudekis’ performance as man desperate to possess and control what he can’t have, and cravenly jealous to the bone is staggering. It is like watching a kind but abused dog go bad. There is no warning and the consequences are dire.

The movie makes a slight attempt to justify not only the beasts but the character’s traits as Sudekis is shown to have been a cruel, bitter, jealous child hiding behind charm and kindness. No effort is spent exploring the cycle of abuse and addiction and the message of the film seems to be that once a garbage human being, always a garbage human being.

The film’s climax is what challenged me the most. The monsters as metaphor are a wonderful choice, presenting a drama that is not what it appears to be.  Hathaway forces a confrontation by flying to Seoul, causing her beast self to manifest in the playground, just as Sudekis intends to pound the city in a drunken rage. His robot looms above her and thousands flee, until her beast shadows the sun over Sudekis. He is terrified and immediately tries to run. She scoops him up and he initially begs, then turns to impotent fury and her beast flings him to the horizon, killing him and the robot.

Seoul erupts in cheers, as Hathaway, processing her actions, wanders into a bar and weeps, asking the bartender if she wants to hear a story.

In a drama about spousal abuse, often the character arc resolves with the abused spouse killing or injuring the abuser in order to escape the torment. It is always justified and seems inevitable, but it never seems like murder. The abstraction of the metaphor trips me up and I was shocked by her actions. I didn’t know what to expect. To extend the metaphor, Hathaway’s actions are as if the Shining ended with Shelly Duval laying fatal traps for Jack Nicolson the day before, and push him into them. Unlike a crime of passion, Hathaway actions to save Seoul and more importantly herself are premeditated, though the final choice to kill appears impulsive. I wondered for her soul and I wondered how she would now address her addiction. Colossal is at once hopeful and deeply cynical and left me with a heavy heart and a lot of questions.

Baby Driver is Edgar Wright’s (Shaun of the Dead) latest film and unlike his previous works lurches from genre to genre with head snapping speed.

Baby is a driver with tinnitus, caused by the car accident death of his mother and father when he was a child. He uses old IPOD’s, like the one his mother gave him as a child, to play music to drown out the high pitched whine that never escapes his ears. He provides the escape for a series of heists for Doc, a Kevin Spacey type played by Kevin Spacey, and rotating cast of characters including John Hamm and Jamie Foxx. After a thrilling opening sequence escaping a heist through the streets and highways of Atlanta, Baby meets a waitress names Deborah, who is as music obsessed as he is.  He fantasizes about her as if they are in a black & white 50’s film, like The Wild One.

Music is fundamental to the first half of the film, where Baby’s life is in essence a heavily stylized musical punctuated by escalating violence. Everyone and everything swings in an effortless joyful choreography of color and movement, culminating in a romantic dinner, celebrating Baby’s exit from crime. It is cruelly interrupted by Doc, who tells Baby, while he might be square, he is not done.

A final grand heist is planned and executed over a single day. Tensions run high among the team members and Bats (Jamie Foxx) descends into a spiral of death dealing. Darkness becomes a deep wide chord replacing the color and joy of the first half. Deborah’s life is threatened multiple times as the few people Baby cares about are abused and terrorized to force him to be compliant. The deaths mount and the violence grows, building to a car to car battle in a parking garage against Jon Hamm’s Buddy.

Baby and Deborah escape only to be caught. Baby goes to jail and serves 5 years in a montage until he is release on parole.  His 50’s fantasy bleeds into color as they finally get to live their dream, drive west, fast, without a plan.

Baby Driver's fluid Technicolor first half is Busby Berkley homage to musicals. It is hyper stylized, calling attention to the choreography to such an extent that it almost seems ridiculous. Combined with the “aw shucks” cornball dialogue of 50’s style young love, it sidles up alongside La La Land as a charming oddball, until the brutal violence. The second heist of the film interrupts the reverie to establish Bats as being a dangerous unreliable force of nature that Baby tries to keep from killing people. The movie falls back into being a musical but stops dead with the arrival of Doc, and finally abandons it completely as the violence mounts.

This yo-yo in tone and genre makes Baby Driver a complex work that is hard to emotionally engage with. It is easy to react to, but unlike Scott Pilgrim, an earlier film that has an overarching theme filled with genre sequences, Baby Driver feels like less than the sum of its parts. It wants to be a love story but the characters have barely shared an evening together. It wants to be a heist movie but never shows the heists. It wants to be a car movie but lacks the deep fetishistic allure of chrome and power. It wants to be an exploration of the brutality of crime, but only shows the gore.

What is it, is a delightfully a musical, when heads aren’t exploding.

[aurimeanswind]

Happy Mother’s Day—Sunday Chats (5-14-17)

Happy mother’s day everyone! Let’s chat.

Thanking Mom

Firstly, I know I am very fortunate to have a mother still with me that loves and supports me, whom I have a great relationship with despite our differences, and who is all around an amazing and great human. I know this makes me very lucky. She has been there through thick and thin, and still supports me in what I want to do and how I live to this day. She lives in Florida, which is pretty far from Maryland, but she comes up here every other month or so for work, so I do get to see her semi-frequent. Including last Sunday! See, picture:

It’s that time of year again where I remind everyone that hey: my mom is probably the reason I am so into video games. This is the first freelance article I ever wrote, and the first thing I ever got paid to write:

http://pixelkin.org/2015/05/11/playing-with-mom-inspired-my-love-of-games/

Pixelkin is an awesome site that was super receptive to me and it’s where I wrote my first paid game review and feature. Also a big shoutout to Keezy Young who drew the cover art for the article, follow her, because she is an amazing artist: @keezybees

I used to play more 2D stuff on my own, like A Link to the Past or Pokémon, and I’d usually get away with skipping all the dialogue and just playing. It may surprise some of you, but I was very bad at reading when I was younger, and this also may surprise none of you. I had essentially a remedial reading regiment when I was growing up, and while I still am not a huge fan of reading books themselves, I love reading now, partly because its hand in hand with writing.

With the jump to 3D games, it was pretty difficult to get through major investments like Final Fantasy VII and Ocarina of Time, games my two older brothers were into and I desperately wanted to be into, but couldn’t because of my difficulty reading and following what to do next. In came my mom, who worked as both my filter and my Official Mom Narrator. She would play and read what was happening, while I would memorize maps, abilities, and give out strategies so that we could get through the tougher parts. Keep in mind I was born in 93, so when these games were big, I was five and six years old, so while something definitely explicit like FF7 would be a challenge for me, it’d be hard regardless to just keep up with.

But that didn’t stop her. Even the last year, hearing how in love my Mom is with the Nintendo Switch and Zelda Breath of the Wild, and hearing how, of course, she is playing that game totally differently than anyone else I’ve talked to, focusing on exploring and chatting with characters, she inspires me to keep playing games and keep telling their stories, because hey: they might surprise you.

Happy mother’s day mom. I may not be close, I may not be able to afford a bunch of flowers to send you, but I am forever grateful for everything you’ve given me and the kindness you continually inspire me to bring and share with everyone I meet. <3

Gaming with Friends Again

This last week I sat down and played some online games with friends for the first time in actual forever. The last time was Overwatch with friends late last year, and while I’ve been enjoying my time in single player land, it was so much goddamn fun good lord.

Last night Nato Johnston, who is a lovely Australian fucker™, got together after the recording of Irrational Passions Podcast 328 to play a bunch of Mario Kart 8 online. Eventually Barrett Courtney, his girlfriend Alyssa, Max Roberts, Moises Taveras, Trevor Starkey, and Shaun Donahue would join us for intermittent rounds as well, and good lord was it a blast. We set up a quick Discord (something I’ve never done) and got to playing.

I hesitantly bought Mario Kart 8 on Friday because I knew I’d be pretty left out if I didn’t have it for Kinda Funny Live 3 this coming June, but this night alone completely justified the purchase. It was about three and a half hours of battle mode, races, some crazy Mirror and 200cc thrown in there, and it was just a complete joy. I got heated, said some ridiculous shit, Nato laughed so hard he cried at one point, and it was easily some of the most fun I have ever had playing a video game. 

It brought about a few things. I mean, earlier that day me and the podcast crew got together to play some, and that was already a blast, but I’ve gathered around so many amazing and talented friends from podcasts all over the world, and how fun and enjoyable all of their company is. 

I am very lucky, and it was nice to get a little reminder to just how fun it is to play games with friends is. Also: that new Battle Mode in Mario Kart 8 Deluxe? It’s fuckin’ great.

Thank you all for the good time <3

What I’ve Been Working On:

So there is a thing about this....

5/7 - Sunday Chats

5/8 thru 5/13 - Brand New Secret Project

So I mentioned on Twitter that I had an idea for a new thing that I am very, very excited about, but it is very much in its primordial stages. I just started writing it out this past week, and I feel like it will be the majority of what I am working on going forward. Which once again makes this section of Sunday Chats a little useless, kind of how it became when all I was working on was Alex Talks episodes. 

I really don’t want to say too much about the project, one because it will be a massive undertaking, and two because I have literally only told one person. I’ll give a couple hints though, because I can’t resist. It is technically TWO ideas, and they are video-based. It relates to a thing I said I was looking into semi-recently, and that should be a big hint for some, and they lean very specifically into me and my interests. It’s a show that just makes too much sense for me not to make, and I don’t think anyone out there is quite doing this same thing, at least not in the way I am planning it.

I’m excited, and I can’t wait to say more, but I’m expecting the earliest date for this to be announced to be August. Probably later. But I’ll say this: finally everything is starting to come together.

What’s on Tap

Persona 5

My emotions with Persona 5 are so complicated.

Like I’ve said in the past, maybe part of me is disappointed by it? But that’s really not the right word. It’s better than I expected, I love it more than I hoped, but it didn’t topple Persona 4, or at least hasn’t for me yet, then again what can, so how can I be disappointed? It’s very complex

But I’ll say this, going back through it, I just appreciate everything so much more. The little touches, the dialogue, the loving care the developers took to make it.

It’s assuredly my game of the year. Which is nuts. I tend to lean toward the thing that’s new for me, but which is unquestionably Zelda, but Persona 5 just does what it does so goddamn well.

I think I need to rewrite a lot of my critique of it, which is partly why that hasn’t gone up yet, so when I edit that, hopefully this week, people will be able to read it.

I love this game, and it is my favorite game I have played all year. Concerns and slight disappointment aside, that is for sure not in doubt.

Mario Kart 8:

I was very hesitant to by this, but see above, I haven’t regretted it. 

It’s also great to just see how fucking good Mario Kart 8 is again. And honestly, the double item stuff goes such a long way to balance things out and make the rubber banding seem less-so, that I really love it.

GREAT GAME IS STILL GREAT

Nier

No, not that new Nier, the OLD Nier.

Yeah don’t ask me why I started playing this. Justin Graffius lent it to me, and I’ve just started it today, and now I’m hooked.

More to come on this later.

Questions

Remember you can have your questions in Sunday Chats too, just look for the tweets I send out on Sunday afternoons that include the hashtag “#SundayChats” and respond to those with your question, and I’ll include it! Thank you again everyone for the questions. Did you all know I have the best followers ever? Oh, and if you ask a Sunday Chats questions, I’m guaranteed to love you forever. True story.

You’re too kind Quin, but I appreciate the support. We’ll have a good time in San Francisco! Very excited to see you have see many folks!

It’s Mother’s Day, how is it NOT lit??

Dude like, that new Street Fighter 2 package is such bullshit right? Evil Ryu is pretty cool in Street Fighter 4, I’ll say that. I really like playing Akuma, because he is very aggressive. He’s no Abel, but hey, he is pretty fun to play and he was the first character I got not terrible with. Evil Ryu is rad because he is kind of like Akuma, with a bit more balanced aggression than Akuma for me, and not as low health.

But fuck this Violent Ken stuff. And fuck charging anything more than 20 dollars for that Switch version of that game from 1991.

This is a good one. For me, the one where you climb Mount Lanayru was absolutely my favorite. Early on when I was playing Zelda I tweeted about doing something that was the craziest thing I had done in an open world game, and I was talking about this. Since it’s been a couple months since it came out, I don’t feel bad talking about it now.

There is just a rumor in town about Zelda once visiting the spring that is somewhere on Mt Lanayru. It’s been so long that no one even really knows where the spring is, and it’s so cold and dangerous to go up there that no one has done it. The first time I climbed the mount I just climbed up the side of it, and saw the giant dragon resting at the top. I got thrown off and died, and had to start again.

The second time I climbed up, I took the “beaten path” so to speak, which is this super great, set-piece like path, where I saw my first Lynel and had to run from it, fought off wolves, summoned Wolf Link, and fought tooth and nail against monsters to the top of the mountain. It was amazing and felt like my own little story, and none of this was brought on by any formal quest in my quest log, it was just something that I wanted to do.

When you get to the top, you see the giant dragon Naydra resting, injured by calamity, at the top. Then you do this massive scale fight, sort of, where you shoot the calamity on the dragon across the Lanayru Mountain Range, and it just amazing with its sense of scale and scope. It was massive, and also small at the same time. I remember when I got to PAX East and got to chat with Greg Miller about the game, this was the thing I had to just gush about to someone whom I knew may have seen it.

It’s absolutely still one of my favorite moments, and the reward is a Shrine quest that leads to a Shrine hidden behind the Nayru Spring. 

This is a good question too, so don’t sweat it!

I am a little bias to Toriel, who is the dog-mom you meet at the beginning of Undertale. She is so sweet and wonderful. She is the dog mom to end all dog moms, and I love her.

Outside of that, I can’t really think of many. I feel like there has definitely been a dadification of video game relationships, so maybe that’s why not a lot of great video game moms are coming to mind. I have one, that’s a bit of a cop out, but The Boss from Metal Gear Solid 3, who acts as a sort of mother/mentor/lover figure to Big Boss, and also Boss from Metal Gear Solid 4, who is technically Solid Snake’s mother, and she is also badass, even though she more so inherits the Boss’s appearance and characteristics. 

Double up question, so I paired these together.

This is very, very hard. My mom and I have had very rad moments, and we’ve also had our downs as well.

Obviously playing Final Fantasy VII with my mom is a big one, since I got to write about it and everything.

A recent one was figuring out how to do SharePlay, that great PS+ feature where you can control someone else’s game briefly, and I used it to help my mom get through a difficult section in Uncharted 4. Or so she believed, to her chagrin, it was more that you had to click in the right analogue stick and she wasn’t sure what the “R3″ button was. To her credit, she did get through the entirety of every other part of that game with my help, but that was just a recent favorite moment.

She is also really great at giving life advice. Even at this most recent dinner we had last Sunday, she definitely related and understood to a recent situation I am going through, and gave me some great advice. But those moments come pretty fast and frequent when you have an awesome mom.

Okay, so one: context, when we were playing battle mode last night, the villager (COM) kept hitting me with fireballs and green shells in Mario Kart, and I MAY HAVE angrily and jokingly said I was going to cut off his face and wear it because when I get pissed i say absurd terrible things to make me laugh, and Nato and Barrett just wouldn’t fucking let it go.

Listen, I get it, this doesn’t sound good, but it was very funny if you were in the Discord.

And here we are. Never gonna live that one down.

AND TO BE FAIR Barrett at some point said he was going to feed Dry Bones Bowser a bunch of dicks, and we ALL kept saying that we were gunning for each other’s bootys when we were racing each other.

So shit gets real, and real explicit in Mario Kart.

Please god just let me live this down.

Hrm, I feel like I’m not the best to ask since I don’t have a ton of Manga under my belt. The only ones I have read art some of Inuyasha and pretty much all of Naruto, except for the war arch in the middle, which I skipped most of to get to the end to see how it ended. Either way, those are both great, in my humble opinion.

As for shows, my favorite anime is Sword Art Online. Full of terrible, terrible flaws, but is easily my favorite show for what it gets right, for the beautiful love story at its center, and for the way it is paced. 

I adore Your Lie in April, and that’s another romantic-ish one. And fair warning, it’ll fucking destroy you. It’s an amazingly somber story about music and what it means to the human heart and the human condition, and it is very, very sad. But it earns it. It does it well.

Golden Time has a ton of problems and can be super frustrating, but it’s a really sweet love story and it’s about college kids instead of high school kids, which is really interesting. It’s the first and currently only anime I have watched about Japanese college kids, so I’d recommend it for that, it’s humor, and the adorable feels it gives you.

A general rule of thumb is if you haven’t watched Ouran High School Host Club, you absolutely need to. Added bonus is the Manga continues on way farther than the 1-season show, and it follows the high school kids through graduation. I haven’t read it, but it’s an easy recommendation.

And to round out my five, Waiting in the Summer is a great summer anime, it’s a great love story, and it’s just fun and wacky. It’s got the drama, it’s absolutely beautifully drawn, and it’s worth a watch too. I loved it, and it’s probably my third favorite anime of all time.

Honestly, and it’s weird because I just did it in March, but travel again. I guess going to PAX East, as fun as it is, is still more work than it is pleasure. It doesn't help that this past PAX East was very stressful for absurd reasons I won't get into here, but the overall trip didn’t end up being that enjoyable, even if I did have a great time through most of it

So this upcoming trip to San Francisco I am hoping to have a great time with. I just hope I can actually have a little bit of money to have on that trip, because right now I’ll barely be able to afford food.

So all expenses paid? Go somewhere and spend time with someone I care about. That’s something i just very much want to do right now.

YES. I don’t want to frighten anyone, but I feel like Harmonix has been trying a lot of new stuff lately, and none of it has been working. I am genuinely very concerned for their future.

I can’t imagine that company staying the way it is for much longer. It’s a terrible shame, because just 8 or 9 years ago, that company was literally on top of the video games industry.

Haha goddammit Roger.

I tried this once. It wasn’t that cold. My tongue did not get stuck. Though I found out that can actually happen and have been waaaay too terrified to do it since. Which is probably for the best.

Tough question Danny.

There is love love, and then there is familial or friend love.

The latter I know isn’t like the former, but I don’t know if I’ve ever really experience true, unadulterated love. For me, familial love is more a sense of comfort. The feeling that no matter what, this is here. It doesn’t break for anyone, but it does bend and change. And it can just go away.

I think, personally, believing you can’t fall out of love is ignorant. Whether it’s one kind or the other, people change, and the relationships and bonds with them change too. I think the ones where the people change and grow, and then the bond and sense of familiarity with that person grows and becomes stronger, those are the keepers. When that intimacy and comfort with someone grows and grows, those are the kinds of bonds that you want to work to hold on to. But there have been people in my life where they just change and honest to god, I have not wanted to work to hold onto that person in my life.

I have had people in my life where I thought I felt true, absolute love for, and I was wrong. And I don’t even consider those people a friend anymore. I think that’s okay. I have many friends, and I’d rather spend the time nurturing those relationships where we both put in and get something out than the ones where I don’t. 

Justin McElroy put it really well once, saying that in Marriage, he find the most success thinking of it as 60/40. If you both think of it that way, if you both put in just a little more than you feel you need to, then it’s a lot easier. To feel you need to put in more work than just an even half, then you both always go the extra mile.

I am so, so, so unbelievably lucky. Lucky to have the love I get in my life. But I still have some hesitation with saying to any person that I love them. Whether in one way or another. Sometimes its even hard with my closest friends, and it sucks because I know those people deserve and crave that kind of sentiment, but it’s hard for me, you know?  It’s really hard for me to show that vulnerability and affection, but I really, really try, for the people I care about.

So I guess if you’re one of the folks I say I love you too, whether as a friend or not, know that I really mean it, or at least, in my head I am trying my best to, and to deserve your love in return, which I don’t always think I do.

Hopefully someday I will be able to feel that kind of love love that everyone is so obsessed with finding out there. And hopefully I’ll deserve, and not take it for granted.

Sorry, got a little esoteric there. But hey, what’s new?

NOW THIS IS A QUESTION TO GO OUT ON.

Uh.. Uhh... They’re all so good.

So uh, first, SHOUTOUT TO MOO MOO MEADOWS. That shit is great.

I really, REALLY love the design and look of most of the levels. Like the Big Blue in MK8 is pretty incredible. My favorite track, overall, is probably Dolphin Shoals, honestly. Like, it may just be for the music alone, which has the best music of almost any track in the game, but it’s also colorful, jolly as all hell, and just a fun race.

Least favorite? I dunno. One of the more simple courses, like the GBA Mario Circuit, or Donut Plains, just because they aren’t super memorable like the rest of the courses.

Shoutouts

Shoutout to moms! It’s a completely thankless job, and there, and some people truly pour their heart and souls into it. There is no better time than mother’s day to thank your mom.

I understand not all mothers are great or actually help their children, but I’ve been lucky in my life to have one that’s always supported me, so thank you for that.

That’s all I got. I’m gonna go reheat some dominos and play Nier and then watch The OC. Thank you all so much for writing in, as always, and ...

keep

it

real.

[too-antigonish]

Never ever too late for the white t-shirt.

However, @jessieren raises an important point in her tags. Why are all these idiots interviewing him asking him about ridiculous things like his love life while completely ignoring the important questions like: Was he really the one running in the giant suit?

I'm sorry, I've been falling behind lately, my trip to London is approaching and I still have many things to take care of before departure ...

I hope you'll be delighted by a few videos featuring a white t-shirt in the spotlight and a sweaty Shaun as a bonus ...