#I hope I'm making sense my thoughts are kinda all over the place right now

[dduane]

Hello Ms. Duane I hope you're doing okay today.

This is a very personal ask and if it's too much and you need to ignore it I totally understand!

I was just wondering how you are managing to stay so strong and positive after what happened.

My partner and I are in our 40s and neither of us are the healthiest people and I am so very afraid of losing him one day. Sometimes, in private, I cry just thinking about it. I can't see a future in which I could go on if he died first.

But you manage to continue even after your terrible loss. You travel and write and continue to experience joys in life. Do you have any thoughts or advice on how to be ready for this future? How to survive the grief?

I hope I am not overstepping my boundaries. I have no one I could talk to about his, and your current strength amazes me.

First of all: thanks for the kind words. They're very, very appreciated.

Secondly: Everything that follows is intensely situational, and everybody else's mileage will inevitably vary. (So what else is new?)

(Adding a cut here, as I'm still ambivalent about how to handle these issues "on main". Warning: contains discussion of pre- and post-bereavement issues, the loss of longtime spouses, mental-health travel, and turning into trees.)

...Anyway. How am I managing?

Frankly, damned if I know.

In my case, I'm really not sure it's attributable to strength, as such. (Though, yeah, one learns some of that over time, if one's not afraid to expose oneself to life. Which, admittedly, is a way bigger ask these days, it seems to me, than it used to be.)

Some of it is mere habit, intertwined with unavoidable responsibility. There are things that my daily life requires me to do that can't be evaded, or not for long: and habit keeps me pushing through those. (And some of them are so fecking mundane. Keeping the online store running, doing the damn dishes, dealing with web issues [right now I'm having a deeply frustrating discussion with Peter's website about under-the-hood memory issues: a discussion that I wish I could just end with a polearm of some kind]...) This is the "This Gets Me So Damn Pissy" side of being a grownup. ...With the inevitable side question: when the hell did I grow up? Is this it? Because this bit of it is really annoying me right now.

Some of it is sheer bloody-minded stubbornness (with a side of You can't give up on dealing with this. He wouldn't like that. And also, You have to keep on surviving this to the point where you get past the worst of the pain: because you know that point will come if it's just given enough time... and he would not want the last thing he did to have caused you so much pain that you gave up).

...Is any of this making sense? God only knows. Please excuse all unnecessary parentheses.

And also: Some of this is the simple realization that it would not be either desirable or healthy to give up, or set aside, even temporarily, the whole spectrum of individuated, nothing-to-do-with-him things that have made me, and continue to make me, me... some of which were plainly (to my then and continuing delight) what got that guy to marry me in the first place.

Peter had only disapproval for the concept of suttee. But not merely because of that, I refuse to burn myself away on his pyre (or to allow my own carelessness about my physical and/or mental states to let that happen). It would serve no useful purpose, would inevitably cause pain to a lot of other people... and in any case, he would just really not approve.

Admittedly, I'm feeling kinda scorched around the edges right now. But give it time enough, and scorching can heal.

(sighing) Let me back away briefly from that whole set of issues, to look a little at the background. Whenever this subject has come up for discussion between us over the years, P. and I have been of more or less instantaneous agreement that we'd both deeply prefer, when the day and hour rolled around, to be turned simultaneously into trees. 😏 Neither of us was ever wild about the other one surviving alone and having to deal with the partner's loss. Yet—barring the chance of dying together in some natural disaster, or in a train or plane crash or something (which is frankly kind of hard on all the other people on the plane or train)—we knew damn well that eventually, whatever our preferences, that was what was most likely going to happen.

So we talked about it. We made some (as it now turns out, fairly rudimentary) plans. Some of them are turning out to be useful. Some of them are less so (in that some of them depended on assumptions about which of us would be likelier to go first). But the important thing was that we jointly acknowledged that one-of-us-goes-first was the likeliest outcome.

And nothing is served by trying to pretend that it's not likely to happen, or by failing to acknowledge and discuss it with your partner. This is hard to say, and will doubtless be hard to hear. But I promise you that all of this would have been endlessly worse for me (or for him, if I'd gone first) if we hadn't even been willing to get as far as the acknowledgement: which is vital.

One who commits to a real-world, long-term partnership must sooner or later be willing to commit to the difficult truth that it will someday end. Denial doesn't help at all. The physical universe has all kinds of seriously annoying ways to deal with that. (And if this sounds kinda stern, please understand that it's mostly myself I'm being stern with here.) ...But if you're already experiencing distress over the eventual possibility of something at this level of inevitability happening (she said, briefly putting her psych-nurse hat on*), I think you might be wise to consider how to broach the subject with your partner sooner rather than later. If you need professional assistance with this, do what you can to seek it out.

But make some kind of plan for the time when two become one (in the probably least-delightful sense of the phrase). It doesn't have to happen all at once. You don't have to spend hours over the business, or days. Peter and I handled this issue (most recently, and not with an eye to any illness...) over a matter of months, in brief conversations that sometimes lasted only minutes at a time, or even seconds. (Hilariously, it was P. finally getting his senior citizen's unlimited-public-transport pass that triggered us most recently getting into this issue in any depth.) But having done so—even in rudimentary form—each of us could rest a little easier that the other knew where to quickly reach for the already-emplaced "lifesaver," and wouldn't have to be thrashing around in the deep water all alone with no immediate help in sight.

(sighing) ...So. As to feeling joy about things? I suspect I'm a good ways off that yet. Flashes of amusement and happiness (and also of extremely black humor, possibly rather blacker than usual) have been coming and going as usual. But then the "happiness" thing is kind of unavoidable for me, because in this regard I am a very cheap date, and always have been. I mean, anybody who looks at my shitposting here should be able to detect that. :)

Meanwhile, as for travel: There's definitely a therapeutic side to this. Right up until his last day, P. and I had stacks and stacks of plans for places we wanted to go in the short- to long-term: some of them ones we'd been to before, some not. I find (not entirely to my surprise, but with satisfaction that it works) that there's currently some relief available for me in carrying out these plans, even though P's not with me except in "Shoulder Angel" mode. What I mean by this is: me traveling and seeing new and interesting things, and predicting—I like to think with some accuracy, after forty years of observing and interacting with the man—what Peter would generally make of them. So that practice will continue, when I can afford it and can spare the time away from home. (Those who want to contribute to these efforts are cordially invited to go over to the Ko-Fi and drop in whatever they please with the tag "Operation Shoulder Angel," so I know what it's about. And thanks in advance to any who feel inclined to do this.)

Additionally, in terms of the general suggestion some have made, that I should "Get out of the house and go be with your Tribe when you can", at the end of the month it seems I'll be at Archipelacon 2, on an island I didn't even know existed until some weeks back, and had to Google for. That should be interesting! Detailed reports will follow.

As for continuing to write: that won't stop until it's my turn to stop breathing, if I have anything to say about it. Casual writing, like this, is enough of a daily commonplace that it's in no danger, I think, of being interrupted. Meanwhile, I look forward to being able to settle back into actual prose work as soon as possible, as things are kinda backed up at that end. If I have to travel to do that because it's difficult to do at home... well, I've done that before, and often. If I must, I'll do it again. Some of my best writing has happened in holiday flats and hotel rooms.

Anyway: thanks much for the question, which took courage to ask! I honor that. And as for you: hang in there and do what you can for your own situation... though (obviously) at your own speed. I can tell you for sure that action on this issue will help, at least a little, over time, to kill some of the fear... and will help you prepare for the unexpected.

HTH. ❤️

*Even though we didn't wear caps. When I was still practicing, we worked in street clothes. Just as well, as I always looked like a dork in a cap.

[viperwhispered]

I don't know about you, but I find shared baths deeply intimate. Mostly cause first you have to be very comfortable with the person you're bathing with and there's an intense feeling of safety that you boundaries will be respected.

Apply this to Jamil who is arguably the most paranoid man in all of TWST. Imagine he and his s/o are getting serious and Jamil is finally starting to really open up. It's also the stage where things are getting steamier, so to speak.

As both a sign of trust and a way to get used to each others naked bodies, the couple starts bathing together. The physical vulnerability of it since their both nude is further amplified since they have to wash/touch each other. That in itself requires a lot of trust.

Just imagine this: gently applying shampoo into Jamil's silky hair while he rants about his day, slowly revealing more about his past and insecurities. Then they switch and now the reader is the one opening up about their struggles while Jamil massages the soap onto their back. Kissing any scars they might have, talking about the most random things, playing with the water, and just enjoying this moment between Jamil and his beloved. Jamil is just so busy that he relishes being able to just enjoy their presence close to him.

There's also a strong desexualizing element. Jamil and the reader likely grew up with a notion that nudity is embarrassing and should only happen with a sexual partner. While this statement is technically true, they aren't in a sexual situation. They're trusting each other to respect their boundaries in such a way that the way they view each other goes from "potential sex object" to "a body that so happens to belong to my dearest".

Which further adds to my hot take of the "If evil why hot" route with OB!Jamil being pre-relationship.

Also, fun concept: washing away blot.

Imagine they're at the very end of the overblot Jamil boss fight. The phantom is defeated but there's still some blot left. So the reader pushes him into the river created by Kalim and holds him there as the water washes away the blot. When he starts calming down, they gently start rubing the blot off. Slowly trekking their fingers through his hair as the snakes dissappear. By the end they're left with an exhausted sulky wet Jamil. The reader then kisses his forehead as they wrap a towel around him.

Aww there definitely is a lot of potential for sweetness with stuff like this. I mean, having someone wash your hair, cleaning up together… It really can feel so intimate and vulnerable.

Now, I feel like I should add the caveat that I'm Finnish, so I'm fairly used to seeing other people's bodies in the sauna, for example, and the whole concept of nudity = sex is not quite so strong for me, personally. (Though personally I'm not likely to go to a mixed sauna, especially with strangers, but still.) So my perspective for the nudity aspect may be a little bit different, though I do definitely agree with these scenarios being intimate and potentially vulnerable. Like, you really do need to let your guard down to let someone see you bared like that, no hiding behind your clothes (or status) or anything else. Just, people, together.

Which definitely ties into that whole opening up for each other. We always tend to say that people are equal in the sauna, and it (perhaps surprisingly) is a good place for those deep, intimate conversations. So I can definitely see that same vibe for this bathing together, too.

Also just, the thought of squeezing into the tub together, trying to figure out how to adjust everyone's limbs and bodies so that you're both comfortable in there (and covered by water enough to actually get to enjoy it). One of you wrapping your arms around the other, holding them close, it's just… So sweet, and intimate, and also you kind of have to be “normal” about it to make it work (I don't really have the words for these vibes, just, yes it's intimate and vulnerable but at the same time you kinda just have to treat it as a normal thing if it's gonna work).

Just eugh I love this concept so much.

(Also now I'm definitely wondering how the twst guys would feel about sauna, perhaps even with the whole “run off naked to the lake to cool off a bit and then go enjoy some more heat” extra shebang.)

Oof that washing off blot, though… Oh it's going straight for my heart 😭 Just the whole I'm still here for you, I'm here taking care of you, let's wash away what happened (both literally and figuratively). Oh boy what a concept ripe for being picked apart.

(Also for some reason it's making me think of like washing off bodies for funerals, but in this particular case more in the sense of washing off the old self / what happened, something to allow rebirth or something. Or like, this could've destroyed him, but didn't. Idk, there's just so much one could do with this. Maybe it's just the talk of being washed in a river specifically that's making me think of like Lemminkäinen’s mother and all sorts of stuff.)

[anundyingfidelity]

AFFECTION — Soldier Boy

Summary: During a mission, Soldier Boy receives a hug from you unexpectedly. He likes it.

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x female supe!reader.

Word count: 0.9k

Warnings: canon violence and language, reader is kinda hurted, descriptions of blood and stuff, AU where Ben is working with the team on missions (which is what should've happened on the show btw), Soldier Boy being Soldier Boy lmao, Ben and reader are totally opposites and I live for that. Based on this post.

Note: soooo I'm still making some arrangements to my Soldier Boy long fic and instead I have this short drabble in the meantime. Hope you enjoy it hehe.

the boys/jackles tags: @k-slla

(if anyone would like to be added to my tags just tell me^^)

☕ if you like my writing, support me with a ko-fi !

GEN MASTERLIST!

You groanned, feeling the hard wall hit against your back. It was hard to believe but you thought probably you wouldn't go out of this alive. Your body ached and not even your strenght could stop this guy.

Fucking Butcher, why did you have to follow him to suicide again? Just a couple of cunts, he said. But he forgot to mention they had a weird improved dosis of V injected.

You fell to the ground as the man walked towards you. He was extremely tall and well-buff. No sense the Compound V on his system made him better, or at least that's what he thought. He was tossed to the ground by your side, and you crawled to the corner of the small room.

The distance was not enough to let you run away. You stayed there, watching Soldier Boy's big frame over the man. He used his shield, beting him to death and destroying his face and neck during the process. You were so damn sure his loud groans of pain would remain on your mind at least for a couple of days.

"Fucking pussy," the old man said, wipping some blood off his face. He got on his feet ungracefully and grabbed his shield back. He turned to look at you, still sitting on the floor. "You okay?"

You nodded. "Yeah."

He held you a bloody hand, which you took to stand up. There was an akward silence as you and Ben left the small room, you followed him around the dirty basement, filled with lifeless bodies and fluids on the ground, to meet with Butcher and Hughie.

"Guess those were all," Butcher announced.

"I have the remaining dosis," you took the tube from the pocket of your pants and showed them with a smile on your face. "Was the last one."

"Excellent," Butcher grabbed it and tossed it to Hughie, who saved the tube on a bag.

"We made it out, huh," you mumbled.

"Well, we're still down here, so," Hughie shrugged and three pairs of eyes narrowed at him. "What?"

"Just think positively, for once," you pleaded with a fake sharp tone. "Isn't that hard, y'know."

Ben rolled his eyes.

"We're on a fucking shithole, the kid's right. Let's go now before any of you fuck this up," he ordered and passed by between Butcher and Hughie, hitting his shoulder intentionally in the process.

You quickly followed behind his long soldier strides. "Wait!"

Soldier Boy scoffed and closed his eyes slowly only to open them again. You stood on his way with a big smile and wide eyes. Bruises and blood adorned your face and neck, your clothes were also splattered with dry blood and dirt after killing those clandestine stupid supes on an undercover mission at night, and still you acted like nothing had happened. He stood in place, with Hughie and Butcher standing behind expecting what the fuck you'd be doing this time. Sometimes he thought you were so fucking annoying.

"The fuck you want?"

You opened your lips to say something but nothing came out. Once you closed them, you beamed again and closed the distance between him and you. You wrapped your arms around his strong waist and rested your grubby check against his chest. He tensed visibly under your hug and after a moment you pulled away, your hands behind your back with a shy smile. Hughie and Butcher were clearly holding back a good laugh. They knew better not to mock Soldier Boy, not yet though.

Ben blinked a couple of times, trying to process what happened.

"What the fuck was that?"

You giggled. "Affection."

He wrinkled his nose. "Disgusting."

You gasped and faked sadness on your voice. "Why? I was just saying 'thank you for saving my ass'."

"It's fucking nothing," he rolled his eyes and started to walk again to guide the team outside, with the other two men with playful smirks on their faces following behind.

"Ben!" you quickly caught his pace to stand by his side. "Thank you, okay? Probably you don't like physical contact but I do. And this is how I show others that I care about them and that I'm thankful. I also give hugs because I like them and–"

"Shh!" Ben raised his hand, suddenly stopping his tracks by the end of the stairs that'd lead you outside. He turned and looked at you with that grumpy face of his. "I said you're welcome, sweetheart. Now we need to go, you can talk to me about your hugs shit later."

He pointed to Hughie and Butcher. "Now, you, cocksuckers, go up."

Butcher grinned, going first. "Sure, cap."

"You shut up," Soldier Boy warned, Hughie gulped and nodded, and made his way up on the stairs.

You stood there, with a smile on your lips. Always that fucking, idiotic, stupid smile, even after hard missions like the one you just had. It was like if you were the only one who didn't seem scared of him or anything else. Sure, you were a supe and a smart asset on the team. But still, a very peculiar lady through his eyes.

He sighed and rolled his eyes. Once Butcher and Hughie were out of sight he finally talked.

"Do it again."

"Excuse me?"

"The stupid hug, do it again."

You raised your eyebrows, eyes bright as you realized his request. "Really?!"

"God, woman. Do I need to fucking repeat my—?"

His words were cut by your strong hug. You crashed against his frame so hard he lost balance for a bit. He was certainly surprised by how warm your hug it actually felt. You angled your eyes to see his face.

"Thanks!"

You let him go and got up the stairs. He barely curved his lips at how happy you climbed them. Yeah, well he actually liked your stupid hugs.

soldier boy / reader

[lucysarah1875]

I headcanon the mounting spring MC using some sexual terms not knowing they're, well, sexual due to her upbringing, and just casually using them with Levi while he's just flabbergasted. Example 1:

"Can you give me backshots?"

"...what?!"

"Back massage? I have a terrible ache from riding in the cart."

"..."

Example 2:

"Stop being so stubborn and let me give you head!"

"Excuse me?!"

"Head? You know, like advice or opinion?"

"What the actual fuck are you talking about? Don't say that to anyone else."

Example 3:

"Oh, I'm really craving a good creampie right now. Can you arrange for it?"

Levi, trying not to smirk, "I'll give you as many as you want next spring."

"???"

And maybe she heard something about husbands giving their wives "facials" or "pearl necklaces" and asks him about it? And another joke that you added in Holy ground about "eating out" and "making out", yeah that was really good as well XD I absolutely love "miscommunication" and "misunderstandings" like these hehe

HAHAHAHAHA You know... great minds think alike because THIS IS AN SCENE OF THE UPCOMING CHAPTER HAHA:

Levi shoved the itchy gray blanket higher over his shoulder with a decisive tug, like he was drawing a line—marking the end of whatever pushy conversation she thought she could keep going. His bare legs stuck out the bottom—he’d long given up on staying fully dressed in this godforsaken heat, modesty has lost the battle—but ditching the blanket altogether felt like surrendering to the cold. That was too much. Some things just made sense, even if they didn’t.

One arm folded beneath his head, his face turned away from her, eyes squeezed shut with deliberate force, his brows deeply furrowed. He wasn’t asleep—anyone could tell—but he was clearly committed to faking it. Or at least, forcing the night to end by sheer will. Mostly, he was hoping she’d get the message.

“Levi…” she called out again.

“Go to sleep,” he muttered, each word bitten off and heavy with exhaustion. Her persistence was wearing him down, strand by strand, like a fraying rope.

“But I need to ask you something…” She shifted upright slightly. Her voice had that unmistakable pouty tone—he could practically hear the lip quivering.

“Ask me in the morning.”

“But—” she protested, voice smaller now, embarrassed.

He groaned into the blanket. “For the love of—what could possibly be so important that it can’t wait till sunrise?”

Her voice dipped into a sheepish murmur. “It’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you…”

His brow twitched. Levi let out a longer breath, then scoffed. “And it just had to be asked at three in the damn morning? In a tent?”

“…Kinda.”

The awkward silence that followed was laced with too much emotion to ignore. He cracked one eye open and glanced over his shoulder. She was sitting up now, fiddling with her fingers and looking away.

‘…She’s kinda cute like that,’ he thought grimly, and instantly regretted it.

“I wanted to ask you in private,” she murmured.

Levi propped himself up on an elbow, gaze sharpening. Whatever this was, she clearly wasn’t going to drop it.

“What?” he asked, already annoyed, but clearly listening.

“Well, since you're my husband now and all… I guess it should be you who teaches me.” She was dancing around the words like they were hot coals, and that irritated him even more. He clicked his tongue. “I want to ride.”

His brain shut off.

“…What?”

“It was Hange idea!”

It’s just that his brain had already gone places. Dangerous, sweaty, deeply inappropriate places.

“I want you, as my husband, to teach me how to ride. I don’t really know how to do it, and I’m kinda ashamed, but I thought if I felt a little bit in control, I might be willing to try new things—”

Her awkward stammering was cut off by his sharp interruption, voice rough and suddenly tight.

“Riding what?” he cut in, voice suddenly dry and a little panicked, because his brain was already passing down all the decisions and thinking to his other head.

‘She’s that ready? I mean… I do prefer to be on top, but—shit, for a virgin, she’s eager but I guess it's easier for a virgin to see how much deep they want to go? And here? In a tent? I mean, I won’t be the first to do it like this, but… damn, I thought she'd want a bed at least.’

‘Not that I’m complaining, though.’

“A horse,” she said flatly, frowning at him like he was the idiot. What else is there to ride?”

All the tingling heat rushing down his spine screeched to a stop. His body had been seconds away from betraying him—his scent, his posture, everything had been more than ready to jump the gun. He was even ashamed of how quickly his own body betrayed him giving away a “I’m more than ready,” scent.

“Well,” he muttered under his breath, “I could think of a few things…”

She sniffed. “Wait. Why do you smell like that?”

“Go to bed, for fuck’s sake,” he growled, flipping back over and yanking the blanket high enough to bury half his face.

“Are you going to teach me or not?” A muffled thud followed, along with her yelp: “Don’t hit me with a pillow!”

“Shut up!” Levi hissed. “You’re gonna wake the whole damn camp!”

I AM 100% taking your ideas into consideration and they will be debated with the council (me).

[afrowrites]

Princess and the Farm-Boy (Special Chapter 😏

DISCLAMER: ALL CHARACTERS ARE AGED UP

Author's note: Y'all it was been one hell of a year. I mean I have never been so overworked and with other stuff in my life it has been impossible to write anything, but I had this one in the works for awhile and I thought you guys deserved a treat. So here is my first *Ahem* "Spicy fic". I really hope y'all enjoy it :).

Clark Kent !Smallville! x Black reader

Warnings: Smut, Oral (f! receiving), Unprotected P in V sex (Please be careful irl)

Read on Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/61783975

There you are stuck in the rain, the mud creeping up your loafers and on your nice white stockings. Once again your plans to escape Smallville have proven futile. Your eyes start to tear up in frustration, which makes no sense. After all you're not a child, so why should you start crying like one. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by the sound of a familiar and annoying truck pulling up.

 “Hey, are you ok?” Clark asks, he sounds genuine. 

“Yeah, I'm uh just fine.” You answer, he looks at you quizzically. He knows how much you hate mud and all things dirty.

“Doesn't look like it.” “Well what would you know anyway?!” You spat, your pride may be bruised but it's not broken.

He grumbles in frustration, he knows you're not going anywhere without a fight. So he goes for the next best thing, you see him get out the truck his tall frame makes his way to you and then he grins a little devilish grin.

“C'mon I know you don't wanna be here out in this rain, your hair’s too important.” 

“I don't see how that's any of you- Oh my God what are you doing!!!” You squeal as you are suddenly hoisted in the air and on his shoulder.

“Well princess, I'm taking you home.” He smiles.

You don't know how to feel about his nickname for you. 

Usually you hate it but right now it makes your cheeks heat up in a way you have never felt before.

He drives you both in silence, he realizes that he kinda kidnapped you, and you are feeling an acute sense of butterflies. Something you could never feel for Clark Kent. 

You shake the thought right out of your head, he looks over to you sort of reading your mind,

“Hey so uh- what is the deal you, I mean ever since we met you act like you hate me.”

You turn your head towards him, looking at his defined jaw, it's making you melt right in your chair.

“I don't hate you Clark,” you sigh “I just needed something to be upset at. It just felt weird to be taken from my penthouse in metropolis and come to Smallville, y’know.”

He does understand where you're coming from. 

“Look, I might not be super rich and super smart like you, But I know what it feels like to be taken from my home.” He comforts you, hesitantly placing a warm hand on yours. 

Before your able to pry further, you make it home. “I guess this is your stop,” He chuckles.

“You know the staff aren’t home, It’s pouring out there,” You sheepishly continue “I-I wouldn’t want you to get hurt.” You can’t even believe the words that are coming out of your mouth, yet they feel so natural. 

He does his usual goofy shrug and mumbles an “Okay”. 

You say your name into the intercom and your let in to your expansive house, It’s a far difference from his warm and inviting home. You both walk across polished wooden floors with high ceilings, old paintings and weapons from a time before. He felt it was all a bit macabre. 

You take his hand leading him to your room. It’s hilarious when you get to your room. It's pink and filled to the brim with hello kitty and poster’s of Beyonce on your wall, it’s much more girly than the cold academic you are.

“Don’t gawk, I’m still a girl y’know.” You tell him, your words bringing him out of his trance. You take your sweater off infront of him as you're preparing to take a nice warm shower. He peaks over and sees you in your rain soaked white button down. He begins to blush as he sees your bra pink and full of ruffles just like your room. He almost gets an anime nosebleed from seeing you. 

“Here I’m gonna take a shower,” You throw him the remote. “Pick anything you want, I pretty much have all the good movies.” You wink uncharacteristically and slink into the bathroom. 

He turns on the tv and flips through the channels until he finds something. He hears a knock on the door, and while no one is on the other side he finds a fresh T-shirt and some comfy pants in his size in a warmed box. 

“Hey um, I thought you said no one was here.” He asked you through the wall.

“Oh there isn’t, I had my robot send it over.” He rolls his eyes. Of course you have a robot, He thinks to himself. 

He slips into the warm clothes, He doesn’t know however that you're peeping through the crack in your bathroom door, You notice his strong arms and wide back, He has such a soft chest. He’s jacked but not ripped and you don’t mind it one bit. 

You walk out into your bed room still in your robe, He’s sitting in your bed comfortably hand on his stomach. You look out the window seeing the worsening storm. 

“Hey do you wanna just stay the night?” You ask him. And while he could go through the storm no problem he needs to keep up the facade of being powerless so he just nods. You hand him your phone and tell him to call his parents. 

You sit at your vanity and start to moisturize your brown skin. He looks over to your glowing beautiful skin. He's so hungry it’s almost like he’s eating you with his eyes,he almost trips over his words when telling his parents he wouldn’t be home for dinner. 

There you are in your silk pajamas and a cute boy in your room, You have no idea what in the world to do. So you just get under the covers next to him. You hesitantly put your hand on his chest, and before you can pull away he takes your hand in his. The warmth he gives you makes you melt. 

“You know farmville, Sometimes I think I like you.” The confession falls out of your mouth like your Niagra falls. You sit up wide eyed staring into his sky blue eyes.

He just gives you a toothy grin like no other and plants a soft kiss to your lips, after a second he pulls away. “ I was wondering when you were gonna come to your senses.” 

You roll your eyes and kiss him, this time it gets deeper. You rake your hands through his messy brown hair as he places you on top of him. You straddle his lap and his strong arms cradle your back. He melts into your mouth like vanilla ice cream on a hot summer’s day, And he smells like fresh cut wood and apple pie. He tastes like a dream you’ve been desperately reaching out for but you could never hold. 

He pulls away to catch his breath, with blown out pupils like he’s in love, (Well he is now lol). 

“Gosh, you’re just perfect.” He breathes into your neck slowly kissing down your collarbone to your plump and supple chest. 

You take a deep breath everytime he kisses your radiant brown skin. “Clark,” You break him out of his trance. “Yes, Princess?” The nickname sounds fresh and new but familiar and quiet all at the same time. 

“Are you sure you wanna do this?” You ask him timidly. “Girl, I don’t think your brother himself could keep me away from you.” He chuckles into you as he slips off the strap of your top. Exposing your  glowing bare breasts.

His mouth salivates at the sight of them, And in one swift motion he pulls you further into him.

He places his warm mouth on one of your soft peaks while caressing the other.

“Oh Clark,” You say his name with a sharp gasp “That feels s-so good.” You enjoy his movements as he kisses lower and lower till he reaches your soft entrance. 

His eyes roam the sight, his pupils blown and his breath hazy. Your scent light and sweet envelops his nose. 

He starts licking your clit with long swipes of his tongue, you sharply moan. Tangling your fingers in his soft brown hair. 

He’s eating you out like he is a man on death row, and you're his final meal. And then when you didn’t think it could get any better he places his thick fingers in your sloppy wet pussy.

“Oh-Oh my god Clark,” you moan out. You're loving every single bit of attention he gives you. And he’s doing so much it’s like he can hold his breath forever he hasn’t even come up for air. 

You're so focused on the pleasure he gives you, you don’t even realize how your belly feels warmer. How your toes start to curl, how your body starts to writhe and squirm. But he knows, he knows that even between the broken sentences and near pornographic moans your body is close to climax.

“C’mon princess, think you can give me me a-” and before the man can continue there you are creaming this poor farmboy’s fingers. Your back arches as you cry out in pleasure. 

“GOD, FUCK.”  Your words spurn him on as he didn’t realize himself that he was grinding into your bed. His dick so hard and with precum leaking at the tip. He’s afraid to hurt you with his size. He won’t even bring up the subject of his sore cock to you opting to handle his business in the bathroom. 

“Oh my god Clark that was amazing.”, “Oh well I thought-”  you interrupt his words with a deep and passionate kiss as your hands glide down to his member. You can almost feel the heat coming off of it. 

“ I think I know how to help you with that.” You giggle. You can see his cheeks heating up as he blushed furiously. 

You pull his pants down to reveal a huge throbbing cock. “How the hell am I supposed to fit this in my-” 

He hears you mumble under your breath, “Y’know you don’t have to do this.” “Clark, Baby if I didn’t want to do this you would know. Now open my side drawer, there’s a bottle of lube in there.”

So he grabs the lubricant for you, for some reason he is surprised at your usage of the bottle mostly because it’s halfway gone. 

“Oh relax, it's for my dildo’s, ya goof.” You giggle at him once more. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get tired of that noise. 

You apply the cold lube to his red throbbing cock, which sends shivers down his spine. His chest heaves in pleasure as you stroke his thick member. 

“Baby do you want me to ride it, or do you wanna be on top?” The two options scream out to him, “Can you ride me p-please?” he asks, almost nervous like he didn’t just eat your pussy like it was a birthday cake. 

You straddle his lap, grinding on him teasing his very soul. You finally give him some relief  when you place his tip at your entrance. He’s so big you have to catch your breath every inch on the way down.

“I’m sorry princess, I know it’s a lot,” “Oh no it’sss.” You hiss in the middle of your sentence. “I can take it.” 

You finally bottom out and it feels like the air has been removed from your lungs. You reassure him that you're fine but he insists you take a breather before you start. 

You slowly pump yourself up and down on his length relishing in the feeling, His hands gripping the sheets trying so hard not to hurt you. The pleasure is almost to good as his beautiful pink lips part in an attempt to breath out a silent prayer of release.

“Princess, I’m so sorry I can’t-” He grabs on to your hips, speeding up the pace on both of your pleasures. 

“W-wait Clark, Oh ff-uck!” You whine as you take your arms and wrap them around his back, glistening with sweat. 

It seems like his strokes would never stop but as his pleasure builds with yours. 

“I’m gonna, s-hit.” He hisses as spurts of his cum flow inside of you as you follow releasing on to him.

You both look at each other with boundless stars in each other's eyes. “That. was… Amazing, I never would have thought goody two shoes Clark Kent could do all of that.” You breathily laugh. 

“Right back atcha, now I think I need a shower. Care to uh join me?” he asks shyly. 

You smirk because the fun has only just begun.

Taglist: @blackynsupremacy

[fake-bleach]

million dollar man | derek danforth x reader

summary: Derek Danforth takes great pleasure in paying for your company and your company only. He’s also a grade A asshole, who doesn't know how to take no for an answer. You come to him on a strict schedule, and, usually, he respects your life aside from him. But, for some reason, you can’t ever seem to get a hold of an evening with your friends without his intrusions. Corrupted with need, Derek persuades you to come to him with an offer of something.. more. Something that he knows will get your attention. What happens when the night ends in a way you wouldn't possibly expect?

word count: 3k

warnings/disclaimers: (18+ only!) fem!reader (no use of y/n), slight spoilers for "the beekeeper", reader's a broke college student, substance use (reader & derek smoke a joint and get high), (that's the "more" in the summary if that matters to anyone btw), use of pet names (baby, babe), derek's an asshole and a bit toxic (as expected), maybe ooc derek but? in a way, reader makes derek want to be better, a bittt of angst but it's worth it i promise, kissing, yeaa i think that's it, part 2 will have smut ofc!, this is kinda all over the place but i hope it makes sense lmfaoo

authors note: hi! i've been so so occupied w/ college, so i apologize sincerely for my sudden, longgg hiatus :') i miss writing all of the time </3 but, i saw the beekeeper on saturday and felt the need to write again! i've been super into jhutch for the past few months, so i hope you guys enjoy this one <3 part two should be coming asap :) so, consider this my brief comeback? but not really? i'm unpredictable

ao3 link | masterlist

read part 2 here!

Being one of the girls Derek Danforth keeps around, you’re bound to deal with some of the bullshit that comes along with it.

But unbeknownst to you, he likes you a little more than he'd like to admit.

He hasn't seen any of the others in weeks now, his mind only occupied with his thoughts of you and when you're not around. And when you're actually with him, paying for the pleasures of your company, he can't help but want more from you when he knows that's beyond your limits.

It's simple, really.

He's a lonely man, and he knows that; knows that his personality is hard to swallow and tolerate. Knows it's pathetic that all he can do is pay for people to actually stick around.

But, there's only so much a lonely man can take.

So, that's when he starts seeing you, exclusively, ‘cause to be fair? You’re the only one who’s bothered to stay by his side for this long.

The only one who’s ever made him feel.. something.

It’s been a few months now since you started seeing Derek. The first few visits from you immediately captured his attention; your disposition being unlike any he's ever encountered before.

Being surrounded by other like-minded people such as himself, it's safe to say that it's all he's ever known. The rich and prosperous life that everyone else around him has. The ability to get anything he wants in a blink of an eye, regardless of what it was, extravagant or not.

You on the other hand? It wasn't so easy.

Maybe it was because you were so hard to get. Maybe it was because he liked the challenge.

He didn't know why he was so captivated by you. But, what he did know was the fact that he needed to.

"Hey, I know we said next week, but I need you here now."

Derek had called you, urgently as it seemed while you were out. Despite the heads up you gave him about your upcoming plans the last time you saw each other, he didn't care, and that was something you were already preparing for.

"Derek, I told you: I can't do today. We agreed that it was fine." You spoke directly into the phone, walking away from your friends at the club you were at to a quieter area; away from the deafening music that shook every inch of the perimeter.

"Are you at a club right now?"

You sighed exasperatedly, the irritation in your tone evident as you reached an empty corridor near the bathroom, body leaning against the wall. "Yes, Derek, did I have to specify my plans to you as well?"

He let out a small laugh that made you stiffen, throat tightening.

"What's with the attitude, baby? It was a harmless fuckin' question."

You were used to this with him; the casual swearing, the way he spoke to you. It was nothing new, and everything you had already adapted to.

But, God, did it annoy the fuck out of you sometimes.

"No attitude. Just wondering why the hell you need me on my day off. I'm having some fun here, is that a problem?"

"Without me? 'Course it is," He exclaimed, his voice giving off his arrogance, "Why have fun there when you could be doin' that with me here?"

You swallowed sharply and licked your bottom lip, looking up and around you as you shook your head, hesitant on his inquiry. "I don't know, Derek.. I, I'm with my friends. Promised I'd be here tonight.." You paused, "They think I 'see you too much' already, y'know?"

"Fuck what your friends think. Come on, come see me, baby. I'll make it worth your while."

He was desperate, you could tell that much.

You rolled your eyes at that, your declaration already evoking his direct persuasions. "And how would you do that, Mr. Danforth?" You teased, "You know I don't play that shit with you."

He sighed into the phone, "Got something better then. You wanna relax, clear your head a bit? Fuck, I got it all for you," He implied what you thought he did, a slight weak spot that you didn't mind partaking in once in awhile.

He knew you were stressed with college, hence why you took this job in the first place; to ease the expenses you had to deal with. He also knew what you liked.

Still, who were you if one measly opportunity to get high bought you out?

"..And?" The word trailed off your tongue, drawing it out.

"I'll pay double tonight."

Too easy. "Fine."

You straightened yourself out, preparing to make up some lousy excuse to your friends of your departure. One that you knew they'd easily figure out.

"Text me the address."

Done. You heard the ding from the speaker of his phone alert him.

"Sending a car your way. Be out in 15."

You were intrigued by Derek.

Despite how much of an asshole he was, despite the privileged life that he's been able to live; the complete opposite of what you had been given.. you were intrigued by him.

The way he ticked, the way he carried himself.

The way everyone knew so much but so little about the President's son.

You almost felt special that his desires laid with you.

The roads that grew mundane to you towards Derek's estate made your heart race, the familiarity of it all still feeling so unbelievable to fathom.

You weren't like him; you were nothing like him. So, how in the hell did you get in this position?

The abrupt stop of the car you were in snapped you out of your head, and one of the workers Derek had around opened the door for you.

"Welcome back. Mr. Danforth has been waiting for you."

You smiled at the man and nodded, thanking him gracefully as you were led into the absurdly large residence you were still foreign to.

Before you could latch your eyes onto the man expecting you, his voice introduced himself into the room first, capturing your gaze.

"There's my girl. About time." Derek spoke loudly, and proudly at that, rushing towards you eagerly. He wore a blue suit with a cheetah print button up just underneath it, and you couldn't help but admit how nice it looked on him. His outfits could be outrageous at times, but it just worked with him.

You laughed at his remark. "I saw you two days ago, Derek."

He shook his head, grinning as he pressed a small kiss to your cheek. An affectionate gesture that you agreed to in your early days with him. "Two days, too long."

You rolled your eyes and gave him a small side hug, feeling a bit more eased at his calm demeanor. It seemed like he was completely different from the Derek you spoke to on the phone. Maybe he really did just need to see you.

But you? You had no idea why he chose you.

"Well, I'm here now.. What are you gonna do with me?" You tantalized, wanting to fuck with him as much as you could. The rules you set for yourself kept him in check, but you couldn't deny how fun it was to see him squirm.

You were confident, and you knew it. You knew he wanted you. But, you knew your worth, too. You weren't going to be so easy.

At least, not unless it was on your own circumstances.

He took a deep breath and put his hand on your lower back, beginning to lead you towards the abundant living room that he had all to himself. Matter of fact, he had the entire place to himself.

He glanced at your face as you took your steps, explaining himself clearly, "Just what you agreed to, baby. Got what you want right here." He took his hand off of you, walking towards the elegant box on the sofa table that he quickly opened up.

Pulling out something small, he lifted it up to you, revealing the perfectly rolled up joint that put a slight smirk on your face.

Well, here we fucking go.

"You're staying true to your word, Danforth. Just what I like to see," You commented, walking up to him, "Well, don't keep me waiting."

He shook his head and scoffed lightly, "Get comfortable, then."

He sat on the couch and patted next to him, and you followed right along, the lighter suddenly in his hand igniting to present the orange flame that flickered in your eyes.

He placed the joint in between his lips, lighter hovering above the end of it as it makes that familiar sound, papered edges burning crisp. He takes a drag of it, shutting his eyes as he lets the smoke fill his mouth before inhaling it into his lungs. A familiar warmth already seeping into the environment around you.

Without a second to waste, he urges you to come closer, muttering out a, "C'mere baby," before he places the tip of the joint in between your lips for you.

You quickly take the chance to take a drag yourself, repeating his every move as you shut your eyes blissfully, the herbal scent of it filling your nose from Derek's own smoke escaping his mouth.

"Yeah," He draws out, "There you go," He mutters as he watches you intently, taking in your hazy state as you evidently begin to relax. "Feels good?"

You swallow as you flutter your eyes back open to him, slight butterflies spreading to your stomach.

..That was the weed. Not him. Definitely not him.

You just nodded as he pulled it away from you, sleekly mustering out, "Great. Feeling better already."

He smirked at you and cocked his head, "Already? We're just gettin' started, babe."

You huffed and leaned back against the couch, getting yourself more comfortable as you shook your head, "Alright, Mr. Professional over here. I don't smoke as much as you, you know that." You sighed.

"I know, I know, m' just fucking with you. Besides, you got me here now, anyways," He teased, scooting a bit closer to you, "C'mon, open up." He urged you, taking another drag coolly, eyes stuck on you.

You quickly listened, lips parting to open wide, expecting the sudden smoke that filled the air to hit you. He blew it out in your face, making you giggle from the feeling as your lungs took it in.

He licked his lips as his gaze lingered on yours, lips slowly closing shut as your body increasingly felt lighter, the substance overwhelming your foggy brain.

The more the seconds passed, the more his eyes darkened, consuming you completely.

A part of you couldn’t help but like it.

There was something so sensual about it. You knew that; there was no denying it. And maybe it was the weed too, but fuck, did it feel good with him right now.

Right now, Derek Danforth was not the condescending asshole that you occasionally dreaded being around.

Right now, Derek Danforth was slowly becoming the one thing that you craved the most.

Fuck, it really was the weed.

"Give me that." You distracted yourself from your heavy thoughts, reaching for the joint in between his fingers. He handed it to you and leaned back against the couch himself, body angled to face you entirely.

He couldn't take his eyes off of you, and now, it was you who was bound to squirm.

You avoided his gaze, taking one last drag before giving it back to him eagerly. There was only so much you could take, and normally you'd want more, but you couldn't help but fear the possibility of any more of it multiplying these thoughts of him.

The feelings that you continuously needed to deny.

Your eyes locked onto the center table just in front of you, suddenly feeling incredibly curious about the intricately built legs that screamed wealth.

Now, he obviously wasn't as high as you, because the next thing that leaves his mouth sounds a bit too coherent for him to be.

"Don't know how you went this long without me."

Your head snapped to him at that, stomach suddenly tightening with confusion at his words. A direct, accusative statement you couldn't have possibly expected to hear from him.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. Just.. with college, with this, with experiences like this.. You need me. Obviously." He exclaimed confidently, as if you should’ve known that already.

There he was. The asshole.

You sharply inhaled, scoffing as you shook your head, staring down at your lap. Your hazy mind can't even help you form words, except for the one phrase that doesn’t do your defense any justice.

"I don't.. I don't need you." The tone of it is light, gentle as it rolls off your tongue, and you hate that you're not in the right headspace for this right now.

He laughs at that. The same laugh that always makes you stiffen, freezing in your place.

"You don't.. you don't need me?" He mocks you as he takes another drag from the joint, putting it out on the ashtray in front of him, "Everybody needs someone, baby.. You shouldn't try so hard to deny that." He taunts you, and you know that it's what he wants from you.

For you to lash out. For you to show him any ounce of vulnerability that you've managed to keep composed since this relationship began.

"Especially not from someone who treats you so.. Right." He whispers out, almost grimly as he leans in closer to you, face merely inches away.

You slowly turn your head now, facing him as you shut your eyes gauzily, mind still lost in your mix of emotions. You hate him; you want to hate him so badly, but you can't.

Some fucked up part of you can't let yourself.

But, that doesn't stop you from putting up a fight.

"You treat me.. right? Is that what you think?" You begin, eyebrows furrowing as you attempt to hold yourself back, "You're an asshole, who treats everyone like shit, Derek."

He laughs, a cruel noise escaping his lips; an unexpected action that urges you on, pushing you further.

"You.. You completely disregard my feelings, my, my plans, everything in my life that doesn't have anything to do with you, you're unbearable, you—"

He cuts you off then, inching closer to you as he grins at that, "Then why the fuck do you stick around? If I'm so fucking unbearable, baby, why do you bother with me?"

"Because maybe.. there's some part of me that hopes you'll stop being such a piece of shit, Derek!" You explode now, aggravated and pushed to your limits. Pushed to show you care for him in some way.

Was this his plan all along?

You don’t know, but you let out one final remark, unable to control yourself now that you've already begun, "But, I don't fucking need you. You need me." You spit out, your seething glare locked on him.

"I need you?" He spews out, almost as if it's too unbelievable to even hear.

"Yeah, you need me."

"I need you?" He repeats bitterly.

You swallow, blatantly whispering, "You need me, Derek."

He continuously denies you, his composure slowly leaving him the more you open your mouth. 

“I don’t need you. I don’t fucking need anyone.” He’s quick to say defensively as he turns away from you, refusing to allow you to get to him.

But, you know it now. You’re getting under his skin.

You press further, head closing in near his to make sure he hears your words loud & clear.

“You randomly pulled me out of my plans tonight and brought me here, Derek. What fucking for? I know you didn’t just need my fucking company. Not after you persuaded me to come. I know you better than that now.”

He shakes his head, rapid and tense, unknowingly egging you on.

“Why do you care about what the fuck I do? Who I see? Hell, even my fucking life! I thought this was all just business to you. What happened to that?”

He pauses then, processing it all. Something he's never been compelled to do before.

“..What happened to that, Derek?” You push, tone composed & steady now.

Before you can continue your little speech, before you can push him any further, he crumbles instantly; voice direct and harsh as he finally reviles into your exertions.

"I don’t—I don’t fucking know, okay! Yeah, maybe you're fucking right. Maybe that's why I always want you around. Maybe that's why you're the only fucking person that I ever want to be around. I—I just—"

“You just what?” You need to hear it, desperation seething through your voice.

He bursts out now, head turning to face you as he spits out his confession. “I can’t fucking think of anything else but you. I can’t be around anyone else without wishing it was fucking you.”

There it fucking is. But, he’s not done.

“You drive me fucking crazy, baby,” He laughs at himself, pathetic with his vulnerable words that no one else has ever gotten to hear, “And I don’t know what the fuck to do ‘cause I know this isn’t what you signed up for, but fuck, maybe I.. I do fucking need you, I don’t fucking—”

You can’t control the next thing you do.

Well, maybe you can, but you really don’t fucking want to.

It's your turn to cut him off now, after the countless times he’s done it to you; by placing your lips on his, eager and desperate as your hands slip from your lap to cup his face and pull him in close, chasing the high of his lips on yours.

He shuts his eyes as you do the same, swallowing sharply once you break it apart, eyes set on him as you await his response.

His wide eyes lock onto yours now, and he whispers out your name, shocked and unsteady, and almost in an attempt to stop you.

"God, just shut up for once." You interrupt him, pushing your lips back onto his before he can protest any further. He moans into your mouth, hands moving to grip your hips eagerly, his body closing in on you completely.

Let's just say, you don't feel so high anymore. You’re no longer confused.

You're more sure of this than anything in your fucking life.

-

part two should be coming this week! feedback & reblogs are greatly appreciated <3

[junkissed]

wait

member — joshua x gn reader genre — fluff, comfort (18+) word count — 1.1k synopsis — sometimes you just need to take second to wait.  warnings — allusions to past/future sex but no sex happens in this fic, implied that shua is more dom and reader is more sub, this is literally just pure aftercare notes — i never feel like i put enough aftercare into my fics because i'm usually drained by the end of writing and i just want to finish it and hit post so this is kinda to make up for that. also i'm really particular about the way aftercare is written and i feel like i never see the kind i want to read so honestly this is just a super self-indulgent fic, because if you can't find it then write it yourself or whatever toni morrison said, but i hope you can enjoy this too :) i haven't proofread this since 3am so if there's mistakes pls ignore! also this is not based on the song wait by dino as you might have assumed i just thought it was a fitting title because we all need a reminder to just slow down and wait

"wait, wait... wait!"

joshua starts to stand up off the bed, but hesitates when you call out suddenly. "what's wrong, sweetheart?" he asks quietly, eyes carefully watching your face, searching for signs and trying to figure out what you need.

"don't leave yet," you say softly, your fingers wrapping loosely around his wrist. "don't want you to go.”

he rubs his hand over the back of your palm. "just gonna get you a glass of water,” he explains but he sits back on the bed, waiting anyway.

you're exhausted and you know you both need to shower and change the sheets, but the thought of moving right now only sends you into a panic. you're overheated and sticky with sweat, but still you crave the warmth of joshua’s body next to yours, the feeling of his skin against you as close as he can possibly get.

“later?” you say the word like a statement, but your voice rises in a question. “just stay for now. please.”

there's a time and a place for everything, and joshua knows right now is not the time for rational thinking. sure, you've got twice the amount of laundry to do later and your mouth feels drier than a desert, but that can wait. it can always wait, for joshua. it can wait because right now you need to feel the grounding weight of him beside you, telling you he'll always be there, especially when you need him most. 

even though it's what he immediately wants to do, no amount of sweat-stained sheets could ever come before you in his mind. even though he knows you're thirsty and probably craving a cold shower and he wants nothing more than to jump up and take care of your every wish, that's not always what's best. yes, what you need is fresh laundry, but what you want is him. 

so he settles back in on top of the bed, easily sliding into place beside you without a second thought. because it's always about you. always has been.

"better?" he asks, his finger gently brushing your cheek in slow, repetitive motions. 

you exhale and lean into him, letting your eyes fall shut as you hum in reply. 

the gentleness of his touch is such a stark contrast from how he'd been handling you not even 15 minutes ago, but you can't help but love both sides of him. gone is the hair pulling, the slapping and biting, replaced with soft brushes of your hair and careful caresses of your skin over each of the marks he'd left in the heat of the moment.

really, it's joshua's favorite part, besides the fact that he gets the honor of fucking you and being the one to bring you pleasure. it's the part afterwards that he looks forward to, when you're at your most vulnerable and both still riding an emotional high, when he gets to build you back up after so meticulously taking you apart. it's the trust in him that you show without ever so much as saying a word, the sense of safety and comfort washing over you that only ever comes from the feeling of being held in his arms.

the air seems to hang silently around you, as if even the universe can sense that this is a moment that shouldn't be interrupted, your own little bubble together that exists outside of space and time.

you just need a second to collect yourself, and seconds turns to minutes turns to half an hour before you can fully feel like yourself again. sometimes it's minutes and sometimes it's longer, but he'll wait as long as it takes.

you slowly open your eyes and inhale, lips warming into a smile as you see joshua is still here, still cradling your head against his chest, and that this all wasn't just a pleasant dream. you can always rely on him that when you open your eyes, he'll be there waiting for you. no matter how long you need to rest, he's always there when you're ready.

your thumb brushes over his arm, and he rests his cheek against the top of your head. “okay now?” he asks. “or do you just wanna leave it and go to bed?”

as tired as you are and as comfortable as his body feels, the intense feelings have subsided a little and you've regained enough of your energy to realize that what you need most right now is a shower and a glass of water.

so joshua slips off the bed, but not without leaving you with another sweet kiss because why wouldn't he? and you let him leave without a word of protest, because you don't feel that crushing feeling in your chest anymore of being left alone when you really need someone to hug, so you just wait patiently for him to return.

he comes back not much later with cool, fresh water in your favorite cup, and he sits beside you as you drink with his hand on your thigh because now it's his turn to be cared for, and the way he feels cared for is knowing you feel good and knowing he's doing a good job at making you feel loved. and you know that he needs this time just as much as you do so you savor the seconds spent here, letting the water wash down your throat until you both feel refreshed.

“thank you,” you tell him as you sit atop the sink, watching as he sticks his hand under the faucet to see if the shower is the right temperature yet. the bed’s already been stripped of its sheets and a fresh stack of towels been laid out, one by one ticking things off joshua's mental checklist. it's a routine, one that isn't always this thorough every single night but always equal in the amount of care and love he puts in each step.

and eventually things will return to normal, and you'll wake up the next morning filled with nothing but adoration for the man still sleeping peacefully next to you, and then you'll go about your days and come home in the evening and still be so much in love with him that you do it all again. maybe it goes differently next time, faster or shorter or less intense and you don't need to wait like you did tonight.

but sometimes you need a little extra time. and joshua is a patient man.

i hope you enjoyed this!! if you did, consider reblogging or leaving a comment or an ask :) it shows me this is something people want to see more of, and knowing people like this makes me want to write more of it! thanks for reading!!

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[adriana-cosmere-journey]

Final Thoughts on Oathbringer

(Warning: all the Oathbringer spoilers below)

I finished Oathbringer over the weekend, but I have to say, first book in the Stormlight Archive that leaves me with a feeling of exhaustion. Like, I am not super hungry to continue with the next book just yet.

Maybe because the lead-up and the battle in Thaylen City were so long. But anyway. Comments.

First, just acknowledge that AMARAM FINALLY GOT WHAT HE DESERVED. So poetic, him becoming an awful dark monster and then getting slayed accordingly. I kinda love that Rock was the one to finish him, although I am a little worried about what that will do to him.... But he was obviously hiding some warrior past that was meant to eventually catch up with him, right?

Dalinar imprisoning the Thrill: beautiful. Especially because he treated it as a loving old friend... Storms, Dalinar's plot is forcing me too much to look back into my life mistakes and own them 😭😭

I finally like Lift. Her friendship (or whatever) with Dalinar is so fun. Looking forward to more of that.

Not sure what to make of Szeth just yet. I'm still angry that nobody doubted his joining the 'good' side, mainly because it makes no sense when you consider what the other characters know (or don't know yet) about him. Yes, I know he will most likely remain extremely loyal to Dalinar from now on. I just mean the transition was not well done with regards to any other character apart from Nin/Nale and Szeth himself.

Would have liked Adolin to have a little more prominence in the battle, but his insistence to talk to his Shardblade is so precious 💖 I guess if he got her name out of it, it means there is more to recover from her?

I did love Jasnah and Renarin being awesome cousins 😭💞 and Renarin starting to own up to his power! Protecting Adolin 💓

Seeing Jasnah in action: as awesome as expected 🤩🤩 and of course, love it that from now on it is Queen Jasnah, thank you very much 👑

Shallan was mostly awesome, but the whole settling into the 3 personalities felt to me like those are still too many... Like, there are so many unresolved issues inside of her...

And OH ALMIGHTY my throuple babies 😭�� Ok so, I rather agree that at this point Shallan needs the man who helps her be herself, not the guy who brings out Veil. Adolin keeps being precious in his intentions, even if his 'letting Kaladin have her' was out of place. I love that Shallan is now fully sharing her other personalities with him, and I love that Adolin clearly identifies them and makes a point to treat Veil differently than Shallan.

I think it was a little too convenient that Kaladin just happened to be ok with Adolin/Shallan together right at the same time that Shallan chose Adolin, but oh well. In my mind, that is completely part of a throuple plotline 🤭

I did love how excited Shallan was about the wedding 🥰🥰 and that she was allowing herself to just be happy. I really hope she does share with Adolin about the Ghostbloods and that it becomes a shared burden.... but something tells me that may not happen immediately, ugh.

I think that's it for now. I'll take a small pause before continuing with the Stormlight Archive, and I'll probably also read Edgedancer and Dawnshard before advancing to Rhythm of War.

I also may have a few nice fanfic ideas hammering my brain, starting with a scene or two expanding on the wedding from Kaladin's PoV 🤩😋 may play around with that a little too.

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this! Do let your comments, please!

[thebluester2020]

Humbly asking for your horny Jio rant (≧ω≦。)!!!!

(I am ravenous for even the smallest of crumbs)

Summary: [RSV] Jio NSFW Alphabet (I pick my favorite letters so nothing's in order!) Warning(s): 18+ filth (Im not holding back, y'all have been warned) Kinda nothing tbh I'm literally just spitting from the mouth and hoping it makes sense. Rough Sex + Dub-con(?) (In letter D but it's Jio's imagination), Side note(s): Oh girl/boy/sibling...ANON BUCKLE UP. I struggled writing this ngl, I could write a fucking essay about how much this man means to me but I didn't want to use a ask to just rant away so...this is like a normal NSFW ABC fic but with some humor (my horny rantings) sprinkled in so lol, be on the lookout for those. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI

quick side note ; to the poor unfortunate souls that may come across this post don't have a single fucking clue who Jio is. This is Jio from the RSV mod aka the man I'd willingly slut myself out to.

extra note alert ; Before we begin though, I want to make one thing really clear.

I'm biased as all hell toward Jio because I have the biggest thing for elves. Woman, man, doesn't matter to me. If they have pointy ears and are unusually attractive and tall, then I'm all in dude. So with that being said? Please believe me when I say that stars shot from my eye sockets when I learned this man was an elf.

AND THAT'S NOT EVEN THE BEST PART.

A = Aftercare (What they're like after sex)

Jio would be the king of aftercare. His dialogue already implies that him and farmer get freaky on the regular so he'll definitely ask you if you need any water or if anywhere is a little more sore than the usual (in which case, he's giving you a massage that puts professionals to shame). But if you say no to any of these and state that you'd rather just cuddle, he's pulling you closer to his body immediately and whispering sweet words to you as he pets your head until you go to sleep.

♡ - "Drink," The soft-spoken word made you steadily crack your eyes open before, through your hazy vision, you saw Jio standing over you with a cup of water in his hand. You snickered quietly to yourself as you propped yourself on your arm to take it, the crispy refreshing taste of the liquid going down your throat both hydrating you as well as giving your body a jolt of awakeness. And as a delicious ache ran through your body, particularly in-between your legs after you and Jio's love-making session.

Your cheeks started to darken and warm a little at the memory of what you and your husband had done only a few minutes ago. Something that Jio quickly picked up on as he smirked at the alluring sight of you growing more and more embarrassed from your own thoughts. "Something on your mind, my love?"

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

Jio would definitely be proud of his muscles. There's a scene where the farmer openly gawks at him when he's meditating in his spouse area so I think after seeing his spouse so openly drool over him. He'd become more focused on his muscles when he trains and would definitely give the farmer a little show every now and again. As for the farmer, though? As cheesy as this response is, I think Jio would love every part of you, there's no part that he favors really because he thinks your literal being is a blessing in his eyes. This means there's definitely a lot of body worship during sex.

♡ - You felt like you were on cloud nine right now as Jio kissed every available surface area of skin on your body.

Each time his lips would ghost over your skin. The more your thighs twitched with the urge to clench if it weren't for your husband situating himself between them, his hand teasingly petting at your soaked cunt much to your dismay. "J-Jio..." You begged, the sound of your whiny voice making the elf throb in his pants before he looked up at you through hooded eyes. He placed one last kiss on your hand before he responded with a throaty "Yes"?

"Please..."

You hated how you felt yourself throb at the sight of him smirking at you, almost as if he were a fox who just an inch closer to capturing his prey. "Please what, my star?" He turned your hand over to press a kiss in the middle of your palm before he moved down to your stomach, kissing down and closer and closer to the area you wanted him most until he stopped again. "You have to be more specific, begging aimlessly won't get you anywhere."

You pouted. "T-There." You tried gesturing to your aching pussy by grinding forward against his clothed dick, eliciting a sharp hiss from him. Yet, as quickly as you tried to seduce him into giving up on reminding you of his manners, he moved back a little to avoid any more of your tempting ministrations.

"You know how to ask properly, not by acting like a tempting vixen." He pinched your thigh lightly as a warning, a whine escaping your lips as you ran your tongue over them.

"Please...touch my pussy, I-I need you."

His praising smile felt like it could light up your very soul. "As you wish, my star."

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically)

Okay so— I feel like when it comes to Jio himself? He's not big on cumming on you. Since he sees as no less than a goddess basically, in his eyes? Cumming on you is degrading, no matter how much you try to convince him that you're into it. However, cumming inside of you is definitely on the books, he loves it. As for you though? This man is a total Munch Master 365 days out of the year. Want to ride his face until he squirts on you? He's into it. When he fucks you and he sees your slick beginning to drip from your hole and onto the floor, he has to resist the urge to eat you out in order to continue stuffing you full. Your cum is essentially ambrosia to him, he could go hours drinking you down and he's never going to be fully satisfied.

♡ - He couldn't get enough of your sweet nectar.

Your delicious slick that dripped from your needy cunt after just a few minutes of foreplay. Jio would've had a mind to laugh if he weren't so focused on sucking on your clit right now, his arms locked around your thighs to keep you from closing them as you moaned and pulled at his hair, the stinging pain encouraging him to keep going in his ministrations whilst he struggled to try and keep a close eye on you.

But, from the combined fact that his head was swirling from both your taste and his growing lust, as well as his bare cock twitching against the bedsheets, the little friction it had from his grinding against the sheets only did enough to make him needier and needier for your warmth rather than actually getting him off!

Then again, in the face of your pleading eyes looking down at him in a silent bid for him to keep going until you came...

How was he able to deny such an expression?

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He definitely would've had a dirty imagination about you once or twice before you two even started dating. However, they would mostly be along the lines of "Yoba, this farmer is so annoying because they say hi to me every day...let me fuck them to take my frustrations out on them". Now, when these thoughts would pop up, he would definitely try to bury them, to the point no matter how hard his dick if after thinking about it. He's not going to falter and touch himself. But oh boy, does it cause him to start to see you in a new light after starting to think about what you look like under your clothes.

♡ - Typically, Jio was in control of himself much more than this.

He wasn't aware of a single thing in this world that could shake his foundations or make him waver in his beliefs. But...it seemed that you were a unique exception because, for the last few nights since the night the two of you began talking since your victory in the Spirit World. His mind has been...plagued, with certain imaginations that is.

Imaginations that focused on the topic of how annoyed he was of you.

It was infuriating how you didn't understand the words 'Go Away'.

So, in the deepest reaches of his mind, he knew the perfect method to make you understand how much he disliked you. He'd approach you in a forest, perhaps you would already be on your way to talk to him one-sidedly once more, and he'd pull you towards him before smashing his lips against you.

His cock would twitch inside his pants at the sound of your needy moan, eager and possibly elated at the fact that you were finally getting the attention you were seeking from the very beginning as Jio swiftly pressed you against the bark of a tree and flip up your skirt.

"Tch," He click his tongue at the sight of your soaked panties, lightly pinching your backside when you wiggled your ass to tempt him into giving you more. "...Such a needy thing, hold still. I'll give you what you so eagerly want." He'd whisper, more to himself rather than you as he quickly freed his cock and wasted no more time to pull your panties to the side before he stuffed you full in one thrust.

Yet the second he'd begin to move...he'd snap himself of his thoughts.

Now the elf was faced with a new task. To find a way to calm his raging hard-on, he refused to fall into the pit of temptation that he was so certain you were trying to lead him into.

extra note ; Continuing on my last point—

He's. A. Tsundere.

He's. Mean (with that hidden sweet side to spice it all up)

And not to expose myself but I fucking love mean men. And to be honest? I'll go a step further. THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO BE NICE??? During the Ridgeside quest line, the first two years of my playthrough revolved around J I O, and with every single mean dialogue he dished my way, I licked right up.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

I think of Jio as a half-in-half case. On most nights, he's super romantic and likes to treat your body as if it was gifted to him by Heaven itself (i.e If you're not confusing the moment for a Wattpad scene then he's thinking he hasn't done enough). On the flip side though, he'll ditch the romance if he's super pent-up or if you're explicitly asking for him to treat you a lil' more roughly.

♡ - His heart felt like it was close to bursting.

Within the dimly lit room of your shared bedroom, the soft sounds of your sexes meeting could be heard as he trusted up into you as you sat on his lap, the two of you sharing a hugging embrace as his cock twitched inside of you at the sound of your moans.

But, his orgasm was steadily becoming an afterthought as all Jio could focus on was you. After all that he had been through in his life, all the sacrifices he's made—

How could he be so lucky to be with you in this moment?

To have your love and attention?

"My love," He panted out, his voice uncharacteristically breathless and whiny as he nearly pleaded for your eyes to be on him. Shakily, you took your face from the crook in his neck to look at him, your hands sliding up his body until they cupped his face. And from that simple action alone, the elf had fallen deeper in love with you.

"Y-Yes" You responded to him, your face somehow warming even more as you looked into your husband's lovesick eyes. A small smile was on his smile and his cheeks as well as the tips of his ears appeared flushed.

Jio smiled as you caressed and held his cheeks before his face fell to rest in the valley between your breasts. "You're so pretty." He sighed dreamily.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation Headcanon)

He doesn't jerk off much, to be honest. (And to be honest? I feel like his libido doesn't really "activate" unless you're around him) Even when you two are in a relationship and I fully believe it's because 1. He's usually too busy/focused on his missions to think of rubbing one out or 2. He has you so if he's in the mood then he'll just go to you. But should you not be in the picture at the moment? He'll just get himself off to a piece of clothing that smells like you or his imagination.

♡ - "Fuuckk..." Jio whispered to himself as he sat on the edge of the bed, his hand slowly stroking his cock as he breathed in the smell of your scent from a shirt you left behind on the bed. The combination of that plus the imagination of your hands being the one on his dick rather than his own...it made for a pretty convincing moment that led him closer and closer to his orgasm.

It wasn't often that the elf masturbated. It wouldn't ever compare to the real thing.

But...when you said you'd be on Ginger Island for the next few days to attend to businesses there, he was expected to uphold the task of keeping things here on your farm in order.

And he'd do just that.

However, he didn't expect that his body would react so strongly to your absence. Even as his ministrations on himself slowly got faster and faster on his cock, going so far as to even spit on his dick to try and poorly imitate your slick and how it'd make your movements faster.

It was dull in comparison.

So dull that as his hands slowed and he came to a stop. All he felt was boredom. "...Yoba," He hissed in frustration.

He'd simply wait until you returned.

final note alert ; I saved my biggest thought bubble for the end so here we go-

Jio is the best-modded husband hands-down. Literally fight me on this. It's hard to convey my thoughts fully without giving concrete evidence (+ the fact that I'm going based off my memory since I haven't done a playthrough of the RSV questline in a lil' bit) but I think that anyone who's on the fence of RSV needs to give it a shot, even if it's just for Jio 💀. Like deadass, the whole reason I started this blog in the first place was to have a reason to rant about this man every now and again before it became a place for me to rant about hot people in general.

To reiterate, I'm biased as hell because I have a thing for elves and mean guys but seriously to anyone who reads this.

GIVE RSV A TRY.

Hot elf guy aside, the character stories in the mod are super good. Like I'd recommend Shiro, June, Ian etc. ANYDAY OF THE WEEK. I can't imagine my modded Stardew without Ridgeside Village so-

YEAH PLAY THE MOD SO I HAVE MORE PEOPLE TO RANT ABOUT THE HOT MEN WITH <33

[bl3upi3]

A Night to Remember | Monkey D. Luffy

Part 1

Summary: After a year, fate brings you back to Luffy. He's mad at you, but not for long.

Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI. Smut, p in v unprotected, mean Luffy ? quicky kinda rushed ? blowjob (I'm bad with warnings)

A/N: Finally posting part 2, sorry for the waiting but I didn’t feel like writing during school. But yeah here we are with a really bad part 2 English is not my first language so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. (My requests are open if wanted)

Luffy couldn't go a single night without dreaming about you, even though it had been months since your first encounter. You seemed like a haunting presence, always on his mind.

Your memory clung to him like a persistent specter, visiting his thoughts each night without fail. No matter how many adventures he embarked upon, your image remained a constant presence, an enigmatic ghost that he couldn't shake.

One evening, you and your adventurous crew found yourselves at a bustling waterfront bar. Just as was your customary style, you confidently ordered a round of drinks, setting a lively and infectious tone for the evening. The crew gathered around a large wooden table, laughter and chatter filling the air as you shared stories of your recent exploits. 

However, fate had other plans in store for you. A moment later, you excused yourself from the table and headed towards the restroom. As you walked through the bustling bar, you couldn't help but notice a pair of familiar faces at the bar itself—a fiery orange-haired girl and a boy with vivid green hair, deep in conversation.

Continuing on your path, you soon arrived at a secluded booth where a lone boy sat, his head lowered, a distinctive straw hat atop his head. And then, like a lightning bolt, it hit you.

 As you approached the booth, a strange sense of déjà vu washed over you. The boy with the straw hat remained unaware of your presence, his attention focused on the worn map spread out before him. His face was partly obscured, but his unmistakable trademark hat confirmed your suspicions.

It was Luffy.

Your heart raced as you stood there, grappling with a whirlwind of emotions. A year had passed since your first encounter, and you had often wondered if you'd cross paths with him again. Now, here he was, mere inches away, seemingly oblivious to your presence.

You reached out and gently took the straw hat from his head, placing it on your own. The boy lifted his head to gaze at you. He raised his head to look at you, but didn't say a word. It was almost surreal.

You couldn't believe your eyes. After all this time, you had reunited with him when you thought it might never happen.

"Monkey D Luffy," you whispered, tracing your fingers gently along his face, taking in all his distinct features.

His eyes squinted as he tried to make sense of the situation. Then, it hit him like a tidal wave—the face he could never forget, the face that had haunted his days and nights.

He stared at you, disappointment and disbelief mingling in his expression, shaking his head. He couldn't fathom how, after you had left him, you were now standing before him once more.

“Y/N," Luffy muttered your name, his voice laced with bitterness and hurt. 

Luffy's gaze remained locked onto yours, his eyes a turbulent mix of anger and confusion. The once warm and inviting spark that had ignited between you two was now a smoldering ember of resentment.

"I didn't expect to see you again," Luffy said coldly, his voice lacking the usual enthusiasm. "Especially not here."

You could sense the bitterness in Luffy's words, and your heart sank. The reunion wasn't at all what you had hoped for. You knew you had a lot of explaining to do, but it seemed that Luffy's emotions were too raw for a calm conversation. You took a deep breath, trying to find the right words to mend what had been broken.

"Luffy," you began, your voice filled with sincerity, "I know this is unexpected, and I understand if you're angry. But please, let me explain."

You pulled up a chair and sat down across from him, the straw hat still resting on your head. The bar's lively atmosphere seemed to dim around you as you focused on Luffy.

"I never wanted to disappear from your life like I did," you continued, your gaze unwavering. "After that day we met, I had to leave for reasons I couldn't control. It tore me apart, Luffy. I never stopped thinking about you, dreaming about you. You've been a constant presence in my thoughts."

Luffy's anger seemed to waver as he listened to your words. His brows furrowed, but he didn't interrupt.

"I've been searching for you, Luffy," you confessed. "I've traveled across islands and oceans, hoping to find you again. And now, fate has brought us back together."

Luffy's expression softened slightly, and he leaned back in his chair, still regarding you with a mix of emotions.

"I don't expect you to forgive me right away," you continued. "But please know that I never wanted to hurt you. I care about you more than I can express. I want to make things right, to be a part of your adventures again, if you'll have me."

A heavy silence hung between you, broken only by the distant echoes of laughter and music from the bustling bar. Luffy remained silent, his thoughts hidden behind a mask of contemplation. But then, without a word, he stood up, his hand reaching for the hat perched on your head.

Startled, you rose abruptly, calling out his name. "Luffy!" you exclaimed, rushing to your feet and following him as he walked toward a dimly lit corridor.

He paused in the middle of the corridor, his back to the door, which he pushed open as you drew closer. You couldn't decipher his emotions, but you followed him into the room. He stopped, towering over you, his face mere inches from yours.

"Talk to me," you whispered, your voice filled with yearning, your eyes locked onto his, searching for a glimmer of understanding "Please…"

Luffy's gaze shifted to the neckline of your top, and his lips parted just enough for him to inhale sharply. Before you could react, however, he closed the distance, kissing you passionately. Your hands moved automatically, wrapping themselves firmly around his broad shoulders while his arms snaked around your waist. He held you as if you would disappear any second.

Your lips moved against his as your heart pounded fiercely within your chest, unable to resist him. You felt his tongue slowly slip between your lips, and you groaned softly as you lost yourself in the passion  of the kiss, allowing him to guide you. 

Finally, you both came to a stop, panting heavily. For several moments, neither of you said a word. You looked up to meet his piercing stare,  and it sent chills throughout your body as memories flashed in your head—of that night. All the feelings of longing, love, desperation, and desire rushed back like an avalanche, threatening to crush you underneath its weight. You struggled to remain composed, yet Luffy didn't seem to be affected one bit by the intensity of your emotions. 

"You want to make it up to me ?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His eyes burned, pleading you to agree.

 You nodded in reply, knowing full well that whatever he offered, you would follow regardless. ""Tell me how." You breathed shakily, your fingers lightly grazing the side of his face. 

 Luffy gazed into your eyes, his gaze unreadable. "Get on your knees" he demanded.

Despite your reluctance, your feet immediately obeyed his instructions, and you knelt at his feet.  He grabbed hold of your chin, tilting your face upward until your eyes met. His hand lingered on your cheek, brushing a strand of hair away from your eye.

 Your eyelashes fluttered ever so slightly as your breathing slowed to a steady rhythm. Your hands went to the waistband of his shorts, slowly pushing them downwards until they fell to the floor. Your fingertips grazed over his skin, feeling the warmth emanating from beneath.  Luffy's cheeks grew redder with each passing moment, his eyes darkening even further as you stroked his lower half. He tried to keep his seriousness but you knew he wouldn't last  long; soon, he'd be overwhelmed by your touch.

His eyes flickered shut, his breathing growing ragged as  your fingers made their way slowly towards his member.  With your fingers wrapped around his length,  you began to pump slowly, savoring the sensation of his arousal pulsating under your touch.  Luffy moaned quietly , his head falling back as he released a shaky breath. 

The sounds he made caused a pool of heat to form between your legs as you continued to play with him. You were becoming aroused with each pass of your hand. But it wasn't enough you needed to taste him. You ran your tongue along the tip of his cock, earning another low moan from the raven haired man. You took the shaft into your mouth, sucking gently as you continued to pump him.

"Fuck Y/N," Luffy panted.  As he spoke, he gripped your hair tightly. "Keep going."

You complied. You licked his length once more before moving your mouth up and down his erection in small laps, occasionally sucking on his tip and making small noises of pleasure.

Luffy's grip tightened even more. “God, Y/N,” he groaned. “If you keep this up, I'M GONNA COME!”

You smirked and resumed pumping him harder. He was getting close.  You moved your mouth faster and faster, working him harder with every stroke. Finally, your eyes widened when you felt his seed spurting from his tip, filling your mouth.  You swallowed the sticky liquid greedily, swallowing everything, relishing in the feel of him. He growled lowly and pulled you roughly to your feet, placing your front against a table and pressing his chest against your back. 

"Promise me you will never leave again" he whispered against your ear as his hands roamed down your body, caressing and stroking every inch. His words, spoken so tenderly, struck you deeply.

"Promise me," he repeated more forcefully. His breathing quickened, his erection throbbing painfully against your ass. "Never abandon me again."

"I promise," you replied softly before turning you head to kiss him as you lifted your skirt , eager to feel him touching you again.  You let go of the kiss when you felt his knee between your thighs, forcing you to  bend forward. He positioned himself,  his hardness already poking through your folds, and entered you with one swift movement.

 He pressed his lips against your shoulder and buried his face in the crook of your neck, letting out a shuddery sigh. His hands were tangled in your hair as he thrust in and out of you, keeping his pace slow and gentle . His movements were controlled and precise, and you loved it.

You were surprised by his improvement and wondered if he had been with another woman. But the thought didn't last long as he began to move faster, his hips slamming against you in short bursts.

 You clutched the edge of the table, your teeth gritted as you felt your walls tighten around him, causing him to moan loudly against your neck. His pace increased gradually, and you found yourself moaning in response.

You gasped when he hit the spot inside you that had been waiting for months.  Your nails dug into the wood of the table as you squeezed your legs together, your whole body trembling as your climax started to build up. You threw your head back on his shoulder as your orgasm consumed you, taking control of you completely, leaving you vulnerable and weak.

You felt him tense as he released inside you, his hands gripping your hips tightly  as he emptied himself into you.

It took a few moments for your mind to catch up with your senses, and you turned to meet Luffy's intense gaze. His eyes bore into yours, a mixture of concern and affection evident in his expression.

"I'm so-" he began, but you hushed him with a tender kiss, not allowing him to finish his sentence.

"I was angry," he confessed in a soft murmur, his lips still lightly brushing against yours.

"You had every right to be," you reassured him as you reached up to lovingly caress his face.

Luffy chuckled warmly as he leaned in, resting his forehead against yours, his arms remaining securely wrapped around you. You closed your eyes, relishing the closeness and the warmth of the moment. The tension that had gripped both of you just moments ago had dissipated, replaced by an overwhelming sense of connection.

"I can be a real idiot sometimes," Luffy admitted, his voice tinged with remorse. He affectionately nuzzled your cheek, planting gentle kisses along your jawline. "But I promise, I'll make it up to you."

A genuine, loving smile crossed your face, easing the turmoil in Luffy's heart. "It's all my fault; I should have never left you," you replied, your voice laced with guilt and remorse. "You don't have to be perfect, Luffy. I love you, flaws and all."

Taken aback by your heartfelt words, Luffy's face lit up with a wide, joyful grin. "You love me?!"

You nodded, a warm smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "With all my heart, Luffy," you confessed, your eyes reflecting the depth of your emotions.

A/N: Hope you liked it, so sorry again for the waiting. I feel like this part is really bad and messy but still hope you enjoyed it a little. I will probably make a part 3 just to finish this collection. Anyways, don’t hesitate to give other ideas, my requests are open :)

[milkamel]

Yap post about Beast Yeast ep 9 !!!SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

MY GOODNESS IT WAS FUN- I had a feeling I'd love ES a lot and I wasn't wrong SHE WAS GORGEOUS. And finally Hollyberry got the spotlight I love her even more as well. Ngl her Crispia ep was a little boring but Beast Yeast? AMAZING. BEAUTIFUL- GAVE HER JUSTICE- I have yet to complete the Legend of The Red Dragon story ofc but hopefully it'll shed light on more of her character by the time her awakening happens

NOW SPOILER TIME!!!

First thing I did was put them together <3 PURE VANILLA IS SO SWEET I LOVE HIS SOFT EXPRESSION SO MUCH. MY GOD. MY KING. MY BBG.

Also bought the SMilk eps soundtracks for my kingdom I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THEM. SO PEAK. Like especially this one struck me ever since I first played ep 7

Me being cringe again- ngl didn't expect to hear any of his lines voiced but it was nice. Hollyberry wasn't voiced too ofc, I hope voice actors will be able to comfortably return to their work soon without any issues <3 <3

ALSO. BEASTS BATTLE INTERACTIONS. THIS IS THE FIRST THING I FOUND OUT AND MY GOODNESS AM I DREAMING?? FINALLY WE HAVE A GLIMPSE ON THEIR RELATIONSHIPS YESSSS LOVED THAT SO DAMN MUCH

Also this guy was interesting- kinda confused abt his relationship with Eternal Sugar cause he's so nervous around her for some reason??- Looked through some info on him and yeah I guess that's valid

My honest reaction once more. SHE'S ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS MYYY GOODNESSSS 🙏🙏🙏 I'd give in immediately ngl

I absolutely loved her and Holly's interactions (had to hold back the shipper in me lmao like wow- that was a lot)- Honestly at first I couldn't tell what was her goal with being so friendly (except for getting the soul jam ofc). I mean I expected some tricks and luring everyone into this paradise buutttt hm idk idk since she let them go so instantly (and I guessed the thing that'd happen right away lol, makes sense they'd want to go back after being faced with a harsh outside world)

Also I was so aggressive to the little guy for literally no reason- but yeah the way he fears her is.. odd to say the least

ALSO THIS?? HELLO?? THAT WAS CRAZY I DIDN'T EXPECT THIS ONE- though I should've cause it's not common for someone close to the ancients to get hurt. And Holly's sprite- GOODNESS 🙏💔

And mini Holly,, oh she's so precious and cute- :((( ueueueeueu- Indeed she was protecting everyone all the time- so sweet

AND ALL OF THIS- I LOVE THAT HER INSECURITIES AND FEARS WERE PROPERLY SHOWN AS WELL,, LIKE SURE THEY WERE EASY (kinda) TO GUESS BUT IT'S NICE GETTING A STRAIGHT ANSWER

AND THIS- WOW. WOWOOWOWFKJDJKGHJhjgdjhgf YEAH I'M STILL NOT OVER ALL OF THIS AT ALLLLL- "SPECIAL" IS CERTAINLY THE WAY TO PUT IT

ALSO SMILK MENTION!! MY GUY!! Still wanna know more about everyone's relationship. They don't seem to dislike each other but it's not like they're friendly or close. Eternal Sugar is definitelly the least aggressive out of everyone (at least at the moment) and kinda has good intentions but still her actions are still harmful towards the cookies she looks over

LOVE THIS SPRITE BTW- LIKE OH MY GOD CAN SHE GET EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL? Can't wait to get her omg,, please I beg-

ALSO ALL OF THIS??? CRAZY MY GOODNESS- As I said her motivation was.. mostly positive? To make a paradise where everyone is happy. She wasn't disappointed in cookies like it was with Mystic but she certainly went for drastic measures to ensure everyone stays happy. She looks pretty redeemable though not sure if this what's gonna happen

And yeah Hollyberry is traumatized cheers to everyone who wanted to see this happen!! (aka me)

Anyway. Loved the ep. Definitely one of my favs and will PROBABLY yap some more cause my thoughts are all over the place rn I need to collect myself lol

May everyone pull Eternal Sugar 🙏🙏 Cause fr so far I pulled PV and then Awakened right after like does he miss me already stop

[cheeseceli]

Shut me up

Pairing: Choi Soobin × Gn!reader

Genre: fic, fluff, friends to lovers, (1.1k)

Prompt: "I know I talk too much, so honey come put your lips on mine and shut me up"

Warnings: the rest of txt make a slight cameo, soobin is a loser (affectionate)

A/n: thank you for requesting this with him because I was hoping someone would😭 enjoy! | Join the 1k event

Yours and soobin's first kiss was... Kind of a hopeless mess.

It all started with a date you didn't even know was a date. Following his friend's advice, he invited you out. Just keep it casual, they will love it. That's what Yeonjun said.

Soobin wishes he could punch Yeonjun right now.

That's simply because you were both sitting side by side on a bench in the park, and you've just asked when the others were coming along.

"Probably soon, I think they might be stuck in traffic."

You nodded, thinking it probably made sense. But it actually didn't. Because no one was coming. Maybe keeping it so casual was a mistake, considering you thought it was so casual that it would be just a normal outing among friends. Not a date. Not that Soobin was stressing over it, of course not.

He just casually wants to punch Yeonjun.

But he also should kick Taehyun since it was his idea to come to a park this weekend. Saturdays are always great for dates, there's no better day than this one. Taehyun was a very smart guy and, since he told Soobin that the place and weather would be perfect, he was most likely right as always.

Except it started to rain.

You and your clothes, that made you look more ethereal than you already were, were getting wet. And so was your date friend. When you got up from the bench, Soobin swore he heard his heart get broken thinking about how you were going to bid your farewell. Happily, you just said "Let's go to some cafe, we can wait for them there".

You were way smarter than Taehyun, that's a fact.

Buy them something to drink. Now that was Hueningkai's advice. Soobin thought to himself for a second before complying; that one couldn't go wrong. He had the money - he made sure to avoid his wallet around the guys. He also knew your favourite drink by heart and the place was very nice. Okay, that one really couldn't go wrong.

"Go find us somewhere to sit, I'll have something for us to drink" he told you smiling, hoping to look confident and cool.

You smiled back at him. Oh my God that must've worked right?? Soobin was about to kiss kai for giving him the only right advice until now.

In his opinion, everything was going on pretty smoothly. They had your order there, it smelled good and it looked nice. For a second, Soobin thought he could really impress you, even if it's with a silly thing like that.

That is, until this random guy dropped his coffee in his shirt. Yeah, that really sucked.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" the person said. The coffee was kinda hot but not enough to hurt him, but sadly it was enough to ruin his shirt. Of course he had to wear a white shirt that day.

"It's okay, don't worry" The stranger even paid soobin's and yours coffee as an apology but he doesn't know if that made him feel better or worse about the whole situation. Sorry Kai, I couldn't pay for the drinks.

But once he sat down next to you, your eyes turned confused at the exact moment, and you didn't hesitate on taking some napkins to try and help soobin's shirt. A win is a win, he thinks when he feels your hands trying to dry his sleeve. His skin was getting hotter and redder. He hopes you assumed it was the hot coffee.

Don't forget to compliment them, Beomgyu said. Usually Soobin wouldn't hesitate on ignoring any possible advice his friend could give, but this one felt like the sanest thing he had said in a while. Maybe it was worth the risk.

He started to look at you, still focused on trying to clean his shirt. There were just so many things he could compliment. He loved the way your eyes would squint when you were paying attention to something. He loved how your skin felt delicate when you were touching him. He could spend hours talking about how your hair framed your face perfectly or how your voice was adorable. He also really liked your lips, a lot. If he could, he would kiss you right on the spot.

"What?"

"What?"

You were looking at him confused, like you were solving the hardest of puzzles in your head. But Soobin doesn't understand. He didn't do anything, nor said something that could make you have his reaction. He just...

His hand flew to his mouth, covering it and only showing his wide eyes in total horror. No way he said that. He couldn't have said that.

"Did you just say that..." you tried to formulate it without sounding weird, not that the situation itself wasn't already bad enough "that you wanted to kiss me?"

He laughed. Little giggles started to get past his lips, but it was extremely clear that it was a laugh filled with panic. How can someone screw things up so badly?

"No, no. I mean yeah I did but no! I shouldn't have said that, it was a mistake. Not that I didn't mean it, because I did, but in a sense that I shouldn't have said it, you know?" he looked at you trying to find a string of hope, any sign that he was on his way of fixing things, but damn he was so lost. "Like, I won't actually kiss you! I wanted to but then, no hold on. I wouldn't do it like this, in something like... You understand what I mean right?"

He doesn't know for how long he kept on speaking any random excuse he could think of. At some point, his panicked laugh got mixed with words and the only thing he could say were unintelligible sounds. You could almost see a little smoke getting out of his brain. He only came to a stop when you kissed the corner of his mouth, shutting him up immediately.

Did you just... kiss him?

You giggled lightly, probably at how awestruck he was right now. It wasn't even a kiss on his lips - unfortunately - but he felt like he could die a happy man at that moment.

"I can't believe I'll have to thank the boys for that."

"Weren't they tagging along?"

Oh.

"Now that's kind of a funny story..." You could see he was collecting his breath to start yapping again, but he stopped right when he saw you smile. Apparently, both your kiss and smile had the ability to stop his brain.

Suddenly he started to talk again, not knowing exactly what he was ranting about this time. His words probably weren't even coherent, but maybe you'd kiss him to shut him up once more.

Maybe this one kiss would land on his lips instead.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: So Sweet

Thank you for reading 💛

Taglist (open!): @zzzzzwicked @yuyubeans

Credits for images 1 , 2 and 3

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto

[runningincircl3s]

Sinematic

Vinny Mauro x Reader

Chapter 11

chapter warnings: oh... there's smut... (nsfw mdni!!) (also reminder i can't proof read my own smut because it feels weird idk why lmao)

i'm still having new ideas for this story and changing things up all over the place, so i'm hoping this is okay cos there wasn't actually supposed to be smut until a later chapter but i kinda thought it would work at the end of this hehe :)

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

You barely slept. 

All you could think about all night was how his hands felt, how warm his mouth was, how he touched you. But what played on your mind the most, was the words he whispered, the quiet confessions it felt like you weren’t supposed to hear. 

You played it over and over in your mind, trying to make it make sense, but it didn’t. He touched you and kissed you like he wanted you, like he felt the same as you, but then he pulled back as if he realised what he was doing was wrong, like he didn’t really want it. 

But you didn’t know Vin was also lying awake, also staring at the ceiling all night. 

His mind wouldn’t switch off. He felt like he did something wrong, you never gave him permission to touch you the way he did, but you didn’t push him away either. He knew if you weren’t comfortable, you would’ve said something, but that wasn’t the point. He fucked up, and he needed to apologise. As much as he wished it could be more, he didn’t want to ruin the friendship you had barely managed to salvage. 

But then he thought about the way you kissed him back, how right it felt, how you slid your hands behind his neck, fingers running through his hair. 

Eventually, you both fell asleep, with the thought of each other on your minds. 

The next morning, you woke up pretty early. You didn’t bother to make your bed or open the blinds, but made your way downstairs in hopes to make breakfast and get out of the way before Vin wakes up. Your hair was a mess from tossing and turning all night, it had been hot so you slept in a tiny pair of sleep shorts and a tank top with no bra, so you prayed you’d avoid him. You just wanted to make some toast and a coffee and be on your way.

But just as you reach the bottom of the stairs, you can hear him already. 

You walk in to see him getting a glass of water. Shirtless. Damp curls. Clearly fresh out the shower. He glanced over his shoulder when he heard your footsteps. 

“Morning.” He says all too casually, as if he didn’t have his hands and mouth all over you last night. 

“Morning.” You put on a smile, reaching for the bread. 

“You making breakfast?”

“Just some toast.” You answer with a shrug. 

“Can you make me some too?” He asks like he always does. Like it meant nothing last night. Like he wasn’t messing with your sanity. 

You force a small nod, biting your cheek to keep yourself from blurting out what the hell were you playing at last night? Instead, you take out four slices of bread and pop them into the toaster. 

You stand in silence for a moment, he was occupied with something on his phone, and your mind was still in overdrive, wondering why the fuck you chose to move in with him. 

Eventually, you pass him his breakfast, but you don’t sit with him. You pick up your plate and turn. 

“I’m gonna eat in my room.” 

He pauses mid bite. 

“Why?”

“I just… Have a lot to do.” 

“Okay,” he doesn’t question it, “Don’t forget AJ and Emil are coming over later, there’s a new game out that we want to play so I’m downloading it right now.” 

“Cool.” You say, “I’ll uh… Make sure I’m out of the way.” 

His head jerks up. 

“Why?” He asks, almost sounding hurt, “I wanted you to hang out with us, why would you hide away?”

You press your lips together, your heart thudding loud in your ears. Before you can find a reason that sounds believable, he sets down his toast.

“Is this about last night?”

His voice is lower now, more careful. Like he’s scared of your answer.

“I’m sorry,” he continues. “I thought… I thought if you didn’t want it, you’d say something. I didn’t mean to cross a line. I didn’t even ask before I touched you, and- fuck.” He rubs a hand over his face. “I fucked up.”

You felt your heart sink.

That’s not what happened. Not even close. But before you can say anything, he speaks again.

“I know you just want to be friends. So do I. I swear. It’s just… sometimes I…”

“You what?”

He hesitates for a moment, but falters, shakes his head and sighs.

“Forget it,” he mutters. “Your toast’s gonna get cold.”

…

You spent the majority of the day in your bedroom, more confused than ever. Did he regret what he did last night? You should’ve told him you wanted it, you wanted more, but the words wouldn’t come out. 

You lied back on your bed, the small TV in the corner of the room playing a show you put on for background noise as you scrolled on your phone. 

Then Angela’s name popped up on your phone. 

Angel💗: HE DID WHAT?????

You forgot you texted her in a panic last night after everything happened. You had guessed she had now only just woken up, and only moments later she started to call. 

“Hi.” You smiled as you answered the phone. 

“What the fuck is he playing at? Girl, I told you not to move in with him-“

“Look, it was just…” You didn’t know how to finish that. 

“Talk me through it. Tell me exactly what happened. Don’t spare the details!” 

You sighed, hesitating for a moment before nodding- though she couldn’t see it. 

“I went out last night with Ciaran. When I came home he was waiting up for me, we talked for a bit, then I went to bed. I couldn’t reach the zipper on my top so the only option was to ask him for help, when I knocked on his door I heard these sounds… Like he was…”

“Jacking off?” 

“Ang!” 

You both laughed, but then when it died down, you sighed. 

“Anyways, I knocked again and he stopped, he opened the door and then… he helped me. And I don’t know why but I told him I kissed Ciaran, I told him I didn’t feel anything, and then he kissed me. It got pretty heated, his hands and mouth moved lower and-”

“He played with your tits?”

“Angela!” You groaned, feeling your cheeks heat up, remembering exactly how it felt. 

“So… If you didn’t feel anything with Ciaran, how did it feel with Vin?”

“I don’t know. I wish I could say I didn’t feel anything, but that’s a lie. It just felt so right, I didn’t want to stop.”

“So… You still want him?”

“I don’t think I ever stopped. It’s taken me a while to realise what I want, and it is him, Ang.” 

Knock knock

“Uh, y/n? The guys are here.” Vin’s voice called from the other side of your bedroom door. 

“Two seconds!” You called back, apologising to Ang, saying that you have to go. 

“Just tell him the truth, let him know how you feel before it’s too late.” 

You end the call and get up from your bed, opening the door and seeing Vin stood at the other side, an unsure look on his face.

You follow him down the stairs and greet the guys.

…

“So, is y/n joining us?” AJ asked, sighing as he collapsed onto the couch. 

Vinny nodded, looking over at the stairs as if you’d just appear. 

“I’ll uh, go and tell her you’re here.” 

“Is everything okay, man?” Emil asked, “You’ve been a little off since we got here.” 

“Yeah,” Vin said, too quickly for it to sound believable, “I’m just under a lot of stress right now, with the tour coming up soon...” 

“Fuck, yeah that’s next month.” Emil groaned, “Is y/n coming with us?”

“Why would she?” Vin asked. 

“C’mon, man. The two of you, it’s obvious.”

“She’s seeing someone, actually. This guy called Ciaran.”

“What?!” Emil gasped, and Vin nodded, not saying another word before turning to the stairs, making his way up to your room. 

He could hear the muffled sound of talking, he assumed it was coming from your TV at first, but as he got closer he recognised your voice. 

“It’s taken me a while to realise what I want, and it is him, Ang.”

Vin felt his whole body freeze, his heart stopping momentarily in his chest. 

You were talking about Ciaran. You had to be talking about Ciaran. 

Still, he knocked on your door. 

Knock knock knock.

“Uh, y/n? The guys are here.”

…

You’d be lying if you said the game wasn’t fun. For hours, the four of you switched between the two controls, each having a go.  It almost felt normal. Easy. Like you and Vin were really just friends. Like last night never happened.

But every time your knees bumped, or he leaned across you for the controls, that tension came creeping back. You knew he felt it too, in the way his laugh always faltered a second too late when your skin touched, and how his face went red. 

It was around eight when the storm started. A distant rumble at first, soft enough to ignore. But by the time the rain began pelting the windows and the thunder came, even AJ flinched.

“Well, I guess that’s our cue.” He said, pushing himself off the couch.

“Yeah,” Emil added, eyeing the windows. “Before we get stuck here or something. That wind is crazy.”

You got up to walk them out, thanking them for coming, doing your best not to watch Vin out of the corner of your eye, the way he lingered behind you, the way he scratched the back of his neck like he had more to say but didn’t know how to say it.

The door slammed shut behind them with a gust of wind, rattling the whole house.

Then the lights flickered.

Then everything went black.

“Oh, shit.” Vin muttered from beside you.

You reached out instinctively, grabbing his arm in the dark as another clap of thunder echoed in the sky. 

“Power’s out.” He confirmed, already moving to check the switches. You could barely see a thing, only catching outlines and shadows whenever lightning flashed outside the window.

“Is it just us?” You asked, voice a little shaky as you followed him.

“No idea. Could be the whole block.” He paused. “You okay?”

“Yeah…” You said, sounding very convincing.

“C’mon, I’ve got a flashlight in the kitchen somewhere.”

“Which way is the kitchen?” You asked, since you were in pitch black darkness. Not a single light anywhere to be seen, and you had both left your phones by the couch. 

“Uh… This way?”

“Which way?” 

He reaches out, his hand brushing your arm as he tries to reach for your hand to guide you along with him. You finally found his hand, and he squeezed it lightly. 

“Okay, kitchen’s this way… I think.”

“I’m placing bets right now that we end up falling into the basement.”

“Hmm, yeah I’ll take that bet.”

He led the way, confidently for about three seconds before he rammed his shin into something solid.

“Shit!” he hissed, hopping in place. “Okay there’s a chair there.”

You tried not to laugh. 

“You good?”

“No.”

As you crept behind him, he muttered warnings. 

“Watch out, I just stubbed my toe on the box there.”

You carefully followed as he guided you around it.

“Wow. Chivalry’s not dead.”

“I suffer so you don’t have to.” He smirked, though it was too dark for you to see. 

After a few more bruises and one dramatic bump into the doorframe, Vin finally declared his victory with a quack. 

“What the hell was th-”

“Got it!” He announced, flicking on a tiny flashlight.

It was shaped like a rubber duck.

You stared at its dim, yellow glow. 

“No way.”

“What? It works.”

“It’s a duck.”

“And it quacks.” He added proudly, squeezing it.

Quack.

You were pretty sure you’d never laugh harder in your life.

“Why do you even have this?”

“I bought it at a gas station, thought it looked kinda cool.”

“Of course you did.”

Still giggling, you followed him back to the living room, where the flashlight cast a weird, dim yellow light across the walls. 

You both collapsed down onto the couch, and sighed. 

“So… now what?” You asked.

He looked around, then down at the duck in his hand before placing it on the table.

“Dunno.”

You both sat in silence for a moment, staring at the rubber duck light now proudly perched on the coffee table, glowing pathetically. 

“I feel like we’re about to tell ghost stories.” You said, tucking your legs under yourself.

Vin leaned back, arms folded behind his head. 

“You ever heard Rick talk about this place is haunted? I’m a pro at ghost stories.”

You snorted. 

“Yeah I’ve heard, is Sally still around?”

“Nah, I think I’ve scared her off now.”

The room fell quiet again, besides the occasional thunder rumbling outside. You rubbed your arms, trying to fight off the chill seeping into your skin now that you weren’t moving.

Vin glanced at you, noticed the way your shoulders curled in. 

“You cold?”

“No, I’m okay.” You lied, though your teeth nearly betrayed you.

Without another word, he shifted closer and threw an arm around your shoulders. His body was so warm, annoyingly so. He had always been a human furnace. 

You leaned into him without thinking. It just felt… nice.

Then you remembered your phone. You reached out blindly, thinking your arm stretched over Vin’s lap, hand skimming over something…

Something that most definitely was not your phone.

It was warm. Firm. And you felt it twitch under your touch. 

Vin inhaled sharply through his teeth.

“Oh my god,” you blurted, yanking your hand back like it was on fire, leaning away from Vin as far as possible. “I thought that was- shit… I was just looking for my phone!”

He blinked, then looked down, then back up at you. Slowly, a grin crept across his face.

“If your phone’s that big, I have a lot of questions.”

“Vinny!” You groaned, wanting the couch to swallow you whole. 

“Look, I’m not saying I minded-”

“Vin!”

He held up his hands in surrender, still smirking. 

“Okay, okay! It was an accident!”

You groaned, dragging your hands over your face.

“Can we just forget this ever happened?”

Vinny snorted. 

“You touched my dick.”

“Yeah, and you touched my tits last night, so… I guess now we’re even.”

The words slipped out too easily, and you instantly regretted them. The air shifted. His expression changed.

“That wasn’t an accident,” he said, his voice lower now. “And I apologised.”

You turned toward him slowly, your breath catching when you saw the look on his face. Serious. Not teasing. Not smug.

“...And I never said I didn’t like it, Vin.” You admitted.

That surprised him. His brows lifted just a little, then his eyes searched yours like he was making sure he heard you right.

You hesitated, then added.

“I didn’t pull away because I didn’t want you to stop.”

The silence stretched between yiu, the only sound the storm outside and the occasional stupid soft quack from the duck light every few minutes.

Vinny shifted a little.

“Really?” He asked.

You nodded, heart thudding as you moved a little closer and leaned in, close enough to feel his breath.

"I liked it... It felt good..." You said, your voice hardly above a whisper.

Your hand found his thigh, fingertips just resting there, maybe a little too high to just be casual. You glanced up at him again, testing the waters.

“Friends can… make each other feel good, right?”

Vin blinked, but his lips curled at the edges. 

“Yeah. For sure.”

He scratched the back of his neck like he was pretending to think it through… classic stalling.

“Also,” he added, too casually for the words that were about to follow, “Friends can totally have sex to keep warm. Like, scientifically speaking. It’s basic survival.”

“Oh, for sure, I like your thinking.” You grinned. “I mean, body heat is important. You wouldn’t want me to die or anything.”

“Definitely not. That would make me a really bad friend.”

He was leaning in now, his arm slowly sliding behind you again, hand resting at your lower back.

“I’d… just be doing my part.” He said, his voice a little rougher now.

“Yeah?” You whispered.

“Yeah.”

You didn’t move right away. Neither of you did.

It was that limbo, the moment before everything tipped over and became too much to turn back. It gave you both time to pull away if you wanted, before a line got crossed you couldn’t uncross.

Your nose bumped his, your fingers dragging slightly higher up his leg, and suddenly his hand was on your jaw, pulling you into him like he’d finally made up his mind.

The kiss was slow, and hot, like he was savouring the feeling. Your lips moved with purpose this time, nothing hesitant or clumsy. It was soft and rough all at once.

You slid your body into his lap effortlessly, like you belonged there, your cold fingers slid under his shirt as he groaned quietly into your mouth.

“Still cold?” He murmured against your lips.

You nodded, breathless. 

“Freezing.”

“Guess we just have to keep going, then.”

His warm arms wrapped around you, thumb rubbing over your spine as he kissed you. You straddled him, thighs on either side of his, your chest against his, your breath catching when you felt how hard he already was beneath you.

“I haven’t stopped thinking about last night,” you admitted quietly, your voice shaky. “The way you touched me.”

His hand slid under your shirt, warm against your bare skin. 

“Yeah? You liked that?”

You nodded, a little breathless. 

“Uh-huh. A lot.”

Vinny tilted his head, eyes locked on yours. 

“Yeah?” His palm smoothed up your ribs, not quite touching your breasts yet, but close enough to make your whole body ache. “What did you like the most?”

You squirmed in his lap. 

“Your hands. Your mouth. The way you took your time.”

“I was trying to behave,” he said, voice dark. “I didn’t think I’d ever get to do it again.”

"You can do it whenever you want."

His hands moved higher, sliding under your bra now, thumbing over your nipples until they were hard, stiff and sensitive. You let out a soft moan, your back arching into him.

Vinny leaned in, kissing down your neck, slow and deliberate. 

“Still cold?”

You nodded your head.

"Guess I gotta try harder then."

He peeled your shirt off, and then lost his own, eyes never leaving yours as tugged your bra down a little until your breasts spilled free. His hands cupped you, thumbs flicking over your nipples, and then his mouth was there again, hot, wet, slow, licking and sucking until your legs started to tremble.

You ground against him without meaning to, seeking friction, gasping when you felt his cock pressing through his sweats against your core.

“God, Vin…”

“You like that?” He murmured against your skin.

You nodded, your fingers tangling into his hair as he dragged his mouth back up your chest, kissing your throat, your jaw, your lips again. His hands never stopped moving, roaming your back, your waist, slipping down to your hips and beneath the waistband of your shorts.

“Can I?”

“Please.” You nodded frantically. 

He slid his hand between your legs, and you sucked in a breath when his fingers brushed your soaked panties.

“Fuck,” he muttered, voice nearly wrecked. “You’re so wet already.”

“Touch me, please, Vin.” You begged, your hips shifting instinctively.

He did, slow, teasing strokes over your panties that made your thighs tremble. Then he slipped them to the side, finally sliding two fingers along your folds, groaning at the feeling.

“Jesus… I forgot how good you feel… How warm and soft…” His voice trailed off as his lips found your jaw. 

You moaned as he rubbed small, tight circles over your clit, his mouth never far from your skin, kissing your chest, your shoulder, your throat, letting you fall apart slowly.

“That’s it,” he murmured. “Just like that. Let me take care of you… Let me warm you up.”

You whimpered when he slid a finger inside you, curling it just right, adding another when you bucked against him. You were panting now, dizzy with it, holding onto him like you were afraid he’d disappear.

He kissed you again, slow but needy, and whispered.

“Can I taste you?”

You blinked at him, dazed. 

“W-What?”

“Wanna go down on you again.” His voice was hoarse. “Please.”

You nodded, speechless, and he lifted you gently off his lap, laying you back against the couch. He pulled your shorts and panties down in one smooth motion, settling between your thighs like it was his favourite place.

Because it once was. 

He looked up at you once more, with a smirk, before he leaned in. 

“You just tell me when you’re warm enough...”

Then his mouth was on you, hot, wet and perfect. His tongue flicked over your clit, slow at first, then rougher, enjoying the sounds that spilled from your mouth.

You cried out, legs trembling, hand flying to his hair. 

“F-Fuck, Vinny-”

He groaned against you, like your moans were turning him on even more. And they were, he was grinding against the couch, so hard it hurt, desperate to be inside you.

When your thighs began to tremble, when your breath started to stutter, he slid back up your body and kissed you deep, tasting yourself on his tongue.

“You’re shaking,” he murmured, cock pressed hard against your thigh through his pants. “Still cold?”

You laughed breathlessly. 

“No.”

“Good.” He kissed you again, deeper and slower as he slid his sweats down just enough, angling his hips between yours. “But it’d be a shame to stop now.” 

“Don’t you dare stop-”

“Shh, I got you. I’m not stopping.” 

Vinny lined himself up, his breath shaky, eyes locked on yours like he was waiting for any reason to stop. You didn’t give him one. You wrapped your legs around his waist, nodded once, and whispered, 

“Please.”

That was all he needed.

He pushed in slow, his eyes fluttering shut as he sank into you.

“Fuck.” He breathed, forehead resting against yours.

You gasped, nails digging into his back, your body stretching to take him. It hurt in the best way, too long, too much, and not enough all at once.

“God,” you whimpered, your voice breaking. “It’s been a while… forgot how big you are.”

He groaned, hips stilling as he sat with his cock nestled deep, buried to the hilt insde you.  

“And you’re so fucking tight...”

He kissed you again, and then started to move. Slow at first, dragging his hips back before driving into you with a roll of his body that made your eyes roll back.

You clung to him, every thrust sending a jolt of pleasure straight through your spine.

“Vin... Oh my god-”

“You’re so perfect,” he groaned, kissing down your neck as he fucked you harder. “I missed this. Missed you.”

He sat up slightly, one hand gripping your thigh, the other sliding under your ass to pull you deeper onto him with every thrust. The sound of skin slapping filled the room, soft and obscene in the dim duck light.

The couch squeaked beneath you, cushions giving with each hard snap of his hips.

He was relentless now, and fucking you like he meant it, like he had something to prove. But it wasn’t just rough. It was real, like this wasn't just having sex to warm up.

Your bodies moved in sync, hips meeting over and over, your moans tangled with his breathless groans.

“Feel so good,” he panted. “I’m not gonna last long if you keep looking at me like that.”

You whimpered, one hand sliding between your bodies to touch yourself. 

“I’m so close, Vin. Don’t stop.”

“Yeah? Gonna cum for me?”

You nodded frantically, body tightening. 

“Y-yeah...”

He caught your hand, brushing your fingers away and replacing them with his own. His thumb circled your clit perfectly, his rhythm never faltering.

“Cum for me, baby. I wanna feel you cum around me again.”

That did it.

Your body arched, muscles clenching as the orgasm washed over you. You cried out his name, voice cracking as you pulsed around him.

“F-fuck- you feel so good when you cum- holy shit...”

You shattered around him, gasping his name like a prayer. Your body arched beneath him, muscles clenching so tight it made his rhythm falter.

But he didn’t stop just yet.

Vinny watched you with something close to awe, still buried deep, still throbbing hard. Your body trembled under his, legs shaking.

“You okay?” He whispered, brushing sweat-slick hair from your face.

You nodded weakly, but your voice cracked. 

“Yeah…”

He gently kissed your cheek. 

“You’re doing so good.”

And then he moved again.

You whined, the motion making your body jolt. 

“Vinny!”

“Shh, I got you,” he murmured, pulling out only to sit back against the cushions and tug you into his lap. “Come here, baby. Just wanna feel you like this.”

He helped you straddle him, his hands steady on your waist as he guided you back down onto his cock.

You whimpered, almost crying at the way he filled you again. 

“Oh my god-”

“I know, I know,” he cooed, one hand smoothing down your back. “You’re so sensitive, huh? But you’re taking me so well.”

His lips grazed your collarbone as he rocked up into you, slow and deep at first, knowing how overstimulated you'd feel, then harder.

The couch creaked again, the stupid duck light casting just enough glow for you to see the way his jaw clenched, the way his eyes stayed glued to yours.

“Look at you,” he breathed. “Fucked out and so pretty. You’re mine like this, you know that? Can't have anyone else seeing you like this... Just me.”

You knew it was just the lust speaking, the heat of the moment- or so you thought.

Your nails dug into his shoulders as he thrust up, harder now, relentless. As his thumb stroked your swollen clit again, the overstimulation burned, but felt so good at the same time. Every stroke hit that perfect spot, drawing helpless little gasps from you.

“Can’t,” you choked. “It’s too much...”

“You can,” he said gently, holding your hips in place as he fucked up into you. “You’re doing so good for me. Just one more. You can give me one more, yeah?”

Your head dropped to his shoulder, body trembling as he pounded into you. And all the while, his voice stayed soft and sweet, sinful praise against your ear.

“Love how you feel around me… warm and wet and perfect...”

Your body tensed again, an uncontrollable stroke of heat and pleasure exploding in your core and taking over your body. You sobbed against his neck as the second orgasm made you see stars, your voice breaking on his name.

He groaned, hands squeezing around you tight enough to bruise as he chased his own release, driving up into you a few more times before he finally came with a deep, breathless curse, spilling into you again as he held you tight to his chest.

Then neither of you moved.

You just stayed pressed against him, panting, shaking, both of you coated in sweat and his cock still deep inside you.

And then, from somewhere on the floor, the duck quacked again.

...

You didn’t move for a long time. At least half an hour must've passed, but you were scared that once this moment was over, it would never happen again, or you'd be too awkward around each other.

Just lay there draped across Vinny’s chest, sticky with sweat, your breathing gradually slowing as his fingers traced slow, lazy circles on your back.

“Are you alive?” He murmured into your hair.

You let out a weak noise.

“Barely.”

He chuckled, low and satisfied.

“You were amazing.”

“You did all the work.”

“I guess.” He tilted his head to press a kiss to your temple.

You smiled against his shoulder, feeling the way his arm tightened around you waist, like he wasn't ready to let you go. For a moment, it felt like you could say something real, that you should say something honest and scary, like I missed this, or you know you mean more to me than just a friend.

But neither of you did.

Because you were silly, and you were stupid, and maybe this was just easier.

"I could sleep here." You mumbled, feeling how his fingers drifted up into your hair, scratching lightly at your scalp until you melted into him like putty.

“You are sleeping here.”

“Okay. Cool.”

You let your eyes fall shut, a happy, content sigh falling from your lips as you pressed a kiss to Vin's shoulder once more. You could feel yourself on the brink of sleep, and then...

Click.

The lamps around the room flickered to life. The TV rebooted. The fridge whirred back to life in the kitchen.

You both flinched at the sudden brightness.

“…Well, shit.” Vinny muttered.

You blinked at him, then at the barely glowing duck light on the floor.

"I mean, he served us well." You said, feeling Vin chuckle beneath you.

And then it quacked again, as if to say thank you.

You looked back up at Vin, with nothing but pure love in your eyes, and this time, when he leaned in to kiss you, soft and slow and smiling, you let him.

Maybe you’d talk about it tomorrow. Maybe not.

But right now, wrapped in his arms, your skin on his, you didn’t really care.

----------------------------

LATE POST AGAIN I'M SORRY!!! i hope it was worth it though ;)

@collapsedglasshouses @miss570 @dominuslunae @sunshine-lvrr @death-ofpeace-ofmind @blade-dressed-in-red @amelia-acero @kait16xo @oobleoob @pipidoll @justdamnpeachy @bluehairpunklol @renegadebirch @devilsfuckingdance @darkwhisperswolf

IF I'VE FORGOTTEN YOU FROM THE TAGLIST PLEASE LET ME KNOW MY MEMORY IS AWFUL

[websterss]

TILL DEATH DO US PART — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

REQUEST: okay so i’ve thought about sending requests your way and my mind came up blank except for a reversed-roles kinda thing for lockwood & co, in which that scene from the last episode where lucy goes to george to save him from the crazy lady (forgot her name) with the bone mirror, instead it’s reader but she doesn’t handle it as well as lucy and pass out or something (your choice, i just want angst) and although lockwood has been shot in the shoulder, he doesn’t care. all he cares about is if reader is gonna be okay 👀 (i just want some good ol’ angst written by you so i can die a little bit inside but also thrive in reading your writing 🥺🫶🏼)

WARNING(S): angst, some fluff at the end

WORD COUNT: 4,214

PAIRING: Anthony Lockwood x fem!Reader    

A/N: Hope you enjoy it! Feedback is always welcomed!

MASTERLIST

You didn’t quite know how you three had managed to end up locked in an underground cellar with Pamela. You couldn’t so much as put the fault onto George. He had put his sole faith and trust into their supposed friendship. He was too swayed by what he thought were good intentions, only to realize they were nothing but sick twisted purposes. Purposes that were going to put so many others at risk. 

“Please!” George begged. “Lucy, don't he’ll kill you.”

“Don’t you dare look, and whatever happens this wasn’t your fault. This was my choice.”

“Lucy, don't you dare.” You groan after having been jostled and shoved to the ground as George had. 

Lucy just turned to you, her features softening as she whispered with pure sincerity and concern in her voice. Her soft-as-the-sky eyes glowed in the darkness like twin lanterns and with a little sigh she replied, “…I have to.”

"No. You don't. We all get to make choices, and I'm making mine now." You walk up to her and hit her with the hilt of your rapier.  You hold your breath as she falls unconscious. You're quick to drag her over to George where he remains on the ground. "S-Shield her eyes, and whatever happens...don't look." You nod firmly at George.

George didn’t hesitate, shielding Lucy from the horror unfolding before them, but couldn’t help looking back to you. He seemed both concerned and terrified at the same time. “Lockwood won't like this!"

"He'll get over it!" You take your place in front of the mirror. Eyes flickering back and forth between Pamela and the covered mirror.

The air around you feels thick and oppressive. You feel sick and dizzy as the sense of impending doom and horror fills your body with a paralyzing chill. You look at the mirror, at Pamela, and the thought of what is to come sears across your mind.

You take a deep breath. With shaking hands, you await her response. “Tell me everything you see, what you feel, and what you hear.” She yanks a pin out from her hair. Then points the recorder towards you. “Every detail.” She says as a final word, then yanks back the cloth. You turn around immediately, feeling a rush of air and suction claw on the back of your hair and shoulders. “Look, look, look. Damn you, look!” Pamela exclaims.

You gasp as you reach forward, grabbing the silver-glass jar, the skull, and hold it out behind you to look at the mirror in your place.

"If you can talk to it, tell me what it says.”

You groan, closing your eyes tightly, trying to fight off the urge to look into the horrid mirror. You growl as you yell back to the damned skull. "Talk...Take it all in and tell your master what you see." Lockwood and George, even Lucy had been astonished when you all discovered that you could also communicate and hear the type three ghost. Your heart plummets as you hear the skull begin to wail.

“No, no, no, this isn’t right! Something’s changed!” Your breath shudders upon the information he has given you. “They’re trapped!”

“What? What? What is he saying? Speak, girl Speak!” Pamela grips her recorder tighter.

“It says something is wrong!”

“More!”

“It’s a trap. We have to destroy it!” You begin to whimper as it all grows to be too much for you to handle. You hold your breath as glimpses of your past flash in your mind. Stills of your parents before your tenth birthday. Finding them ghost-locked after coming home from Fittes. Horrid wretched flashes and faces of previous visitors you and the boys were called on to take a job about. Being pinned by a type two. Your breath grows cold upon being nearly ghost-locked yourself. But the one vision that struck you the most, that made you lose your grip on making it through this was seeing yourself hold Anthony in your arms as his eyes were milky, his brown irises glazed over white and still. You could see yourself crying and begging him to come back to you. Your eyes shot upon with a startle. You could feel yourself loosen your hold on the jar before you took it down with you to the ground. All you could hear was a faint yell of your name before you slipped into the dark void that clouded your mind.

“Y/n!” George hadn’t even hesitated to get onto his feet to tackle down the stand holding the mirror. 

“No!” Pamela cries out. George ran back over to where you lay unconscious. His hands were still tied behind his back but he still attempted to check for your pulse. He visibly relaxed as he came to feel your pulse thump against his skin. 

“You’re alright, you’re alright now...Lockwood will come soon and it’ll all be over soon.” He flinched, looking over his shoulder as he heard shuffling to his right. Lucy groaned, clutching at her head as she pushed herself off the ground. 

“Blood hell...” She complained, but one look at your unmoving body had her scooting closer to the two of you. She reached forward, brushing a few strands out from your face. Her palm resting against your cheek. “Is she...” She raised a brow at George. Thinking the worst of the worst. Your death at the hands of Pamela.

“No. She’s alright. Assumed the mirror struck her energy a bit. It was too much for her to handle.” 

“Lockwood is gonna-”

“Kill us.”

“I was going to say put her on house arrest but sure let’s assume the worst reactions possible. 

“Before we arrived. He practically begged her to run off and call DEPRAC. She was top priority...” Lucy muttered to herself thinking back on what Lockwood debriefed before they came to face Pamela. 

“Top priority?” George questioned. “Y/n?”

“Before we left, he mentioned how the mirror came close to being our second priority. I asked him out of curiosity what the first priority was. He didn’t answer me.” Lucy looks down at you with a new sense of understanding. The bond you and Lockwood shared was one like no other. Two souls brought together by unfathomable circumstances. Orphaned from the same cause, the same path that lead your loved ones to be unalive. To halves that made a whole. Who understood what was put at risk every day you stepped out into London’s busy and haunted streets. You both knew the sacrifices that were the hardest to make, but you both took them on over Lucy and George having to. The little family you both found yourselves, you put your whole lives and trust into. You were everything to one another, and that was a risk in itself. “Lockwood is going to have our heads...” She breathed out in realization.

“I think he knows that already.”

“What?” George gestured behind her with a grimace. Lockwood was standing a few feet away, clutching his shoulder. His eyes rotated from Lucy and George and onto your unmoving form. 

“Shit...” Lucy swallowed nervously as he let his rapier clatter to the floor. 

“Is she?” Lockwood swallowed his words down, not having the stomach to contemplate whether you remained with them or if you had finally joined alongside your parents and his. Lockwood took a few more agonizing steps towards your motionless form, his expression looking both exhausted and afraid. His fingers reach out but fall back down to his sides. He was only thankful you couldn’t see him tremble, as he held back on the urge to break down crying.  

“She’s okay...swear it.” Lucy nodded, a timid smile on her face as her eyes watered. 

Lockwood's eyes began to water from the sight. For an agent, death would be nothing more than a common occurrence. However, this was a different scenario, as a few tears streamed down his face. Before he could take another step forward, George finally free from his zip ties, carefully lifted you in a gentle motion, trying to prop you upwards. Lockwood hurried forward then, hands trembling as he grabbed your shoulders and pulled you into a seating position. Your head lulling sideways at an uncomfortable angle. Lockwood's eyes darted all across your form, desperately hoping to find some kind of response from you.

"She took on the mirror...It was too much for her to handle. She fainted from it." George filled him in on what occurred.

Lockwood's breaths grew out of rhythm as he kept your body in place, trying to keep his hands from shaking. His fingers trembled at a furious pace as he placed his hand against your neck, needing to feel for himself for a pulse. To reassure him that you weren’t taken from him. It was a moment that felt like hours had passed. He spoke. “Did she look at it?” They could hear the panic in his voice.

"N-No. She used the skull." Anthony glanced over to where the type three ghost swirled around, displaying its very much livelihood. He wished the same for your state.

Lockwood's sigh of relief was palpable in the atmosphere. He withdrew his head from your shoulder and pressed his head gently against yours, his eyes closing shut. The only thing keeping him from losing it was the slight thump against his fingertips on your neck, it had his entire demeanor relaxing. Though it didn't calm his nerves. "She'll be alright," he promised George, who seemed to be on the verge of panic himself. "She'll be quite alright." He muttered softly as though the tiniest change in his tone would cause him to fall apart. 

Lucy was at a crossroads, her instincts screaming at her how badly she wanted to rush into Lockwood's arms to comfort him at this moment, but she had her priorities straight. You had taken her place. This wasn’t out of the ordinary for you and it angered Lockwood because you never stopped putting yourself before others.

"She knocked me out and took my place. I wouldn't have let her if I knew-" Anthony retracted from you and looked over to Lucy, having her own breakdown.

Knowing of your bond, she knew what losing you would do to him. The last thing she wanted was to add any more stress to his plate and his already heavy heart. “I know. It’s alright Luce...” Lockwood gave her a firm nod. He then turned back to you. Lockwood was staring at what you referred to as your imperfections, a freckle here, a scar against your temple there, and the crease in your brows, to him they were what made you simply perfect in his eyes. He couldn’t help the frown on his lips, the frown on your own lips not sitting well with him. Had you fainted in pain? Were you still in pain? It didn’t shake him as badly as your closed eyes did. He wanted nothing more than to peer into them again. Find a home in them once more. He willed and hoped them to finally open so that he could see that you were alright. 

He lied, your pulse hadn’t been enough, he needed to see you awaken for him to even function correctly. He needed his mind to think about anything else, something else so he asked.

“What marvelous object did she acquire this time...” He scoffed. “My first encounter with her was with the end of an umbrella.”

"The butt of her rapier," Lucy said. "Shit hurt..." She rubbed against the side of her temple.

“A rapier?” He breathed a small laugh. “I see you weren’t quite original this time...” A small smile appeared in Lockwood's eyes as he leaned forward again. His hand lowered to wrap around your fingers, all the while as he carefully placed your head upon his shoulder. His other hand brushed against your cheek, making note of your temperature. “Her hands are getting cold.”

"Is that bad?"

“Y/n. Can you hear me?” He lifted your head from his shoulder. “Her circulation is slowing. Our time frame for waking her up is shrinking.” It's always an internal struggle for him to remain composed, but he had to be strong for the lot of them.

"Where did Pamela go?" George began panicking. He grew weary seeing her hunched over the broken mirror.      

“Leave her, George!" Lockwood let out his frustration at the situation. “She’s not our priority right now.”

“You stupid boy. You broke it!” Pamela whined.

Lockwood turned to look back at Pamela, who was whining about the broken mirror as Lucy’s attempts to bring you back to consciousness were becoming more futile. Lockwood’s patience was wearing thin, and Pamela’s words were doing nothing but adding fuel to the flames.

“We need to go! Now!” Lockwood urged the two of them. As he was already attempting to pick you up, especially with his bad shoulder still bleeding out. The exhaustion hadn’t yet reached him, his adrenaline running rampant. 

Lockwood's words were cut short as he stumbled, dropping you to the ground. His bad shoulder had given way to the exhaustion that now began to consume him. He was losing his grip on everything. “Lucy...” he was pleading now. 

“We’ve got her, let’s go!” Lucy assured his panic, and swung your arm over her shoulder, George taking your other arm.

“Don’t drop her…” Lockwood barked out, as he struggled to maintain a standing position. The exhaustion finally started to take hold of him as his knees buckled beneath him. With his body starting to tremble and lose its grasp, he let out a deep groan, his breath shallowing from the physical exertion.

"Go!" Lucy ordered out of frustration. She admired his concern and care about you but not when their lives were currently on the line and a crazy bitch was staring into the mirror she tried forcing them to look into.

He didn’t want to allow any room for arguing.

-

Anthony had fallen unconscious as the lift back up. His body lay next to yours as George, Lucy, and Kipps adjusted the both of you. The last thing Anthony recalls was lightly pressing his hand on top of yours before he succumbed to the exhaustion that ransacked his body. He felt as though a train drove right into him, though at least now he could say he’s faced down the barrel of a gun and lived to tell the tale. You’d find it humorous. You always thought highly of his jokes and gave him a laugh when most never bothered. He’d give anything to hear you bubble out of joy. See you double over from the loss of air in your chest. He’d give anything...everything.

After the paramedics patched him up and reduced him to an arm sling, he hung back as you lay on the gurney behind him. He twisted in his seat, keeping a watchful eye on you, waiting, willing the universe to spare him and have your fingers twitch, or have you shift around. He needed some peace of mind.

Though the universe was not kind, your body remained lifeless in a state of deep slumber. Lockwood’s heartbeat grew heavier the longer he waited on the back of the ambulance, his mind flooded with the worst-case scenarios. That this would be the last time, that that smile of yours that could charm anyone with ease would be lost. If he was to lose you, then he had nothing left. Nothing and no one. His hand continued to shake as he felt himself become more and more of a wreck. He couldn’t breathe...he wouldn't be able to breathe...and he knew he’d whole himself in his room if you didn’t-

“Will the Mrs live to see another day?”

Anthony looked over at Inspector Barnes. He gestured to your stilified state. He had hoped his joke would upturn the tension but if presumed he hadn’t after Lockwood scoffed and rolled his eyes, adverting his gaze away and back where they longed to remain, solely on you.

“What’d the paramedics say?” He asked again.

“She’s alright...Nothing we couldn’t figure out ourselves. The pressure from the mirror exhausted her to the point of fainting. She’s stable...she’s surpassed every checkup they ministered with flying colors...”

“Yet...” Barnes trailed off.

“They don’t have the slightest clue as to why she won’t wake up. They already tried to but...” Lockwood didn’t want to say it out loud, but speaking it into existence confirmed his worst fears, that even though your vitals were good, and your body reacted well to the fluids they gave you, something was seriously wrong, if not physically, then mentally and that scared him more than anything else. “I have this inclining...”

"Lockwood-" Barnes began.

“I know what you’re going to say. Have hope. Remain optimistic as we’ll continue to observe her, monitor her vitals, hell test her blood. But what good will that do when we’ve done it already…” He paused, the exhaustion growing with every passing moment. “What if she never wakes up?” Lockwood’s breath shudders.

“You both know of the risks–“ Barnes tries to reason.

“We’ve been in the business of risk exposure for years. We don’t expect ourselves to survive from the first encounter. But this–this feeling...” Lockwood’s voice was breaking. He couldn’t keep himself contained any longer. “I’m aware!” Lockwood snaps, his voice breaking, his eyes reddening. “All too aware, but if I’d known this would happen I’d…” His thoughts trail off, unsure of what to say anymore. His eyes kept darting back and forth between you and Barnes. He’d succumb to begging. He would. Just to see you move a little. Any kind of movement. Just one would be enough to quell his panic. 

“Taken her place?” A small knowing smile reached Barnes's brows.

Lockwood couldn’t bring himself to deny it. He took a deep breath, as he spoke in a hushed and gentle tone “I would hand myself over to death without question. Any given day.” He didn’t hesitate. “I’d rather she lose me, than I her. So yes, I’d have taken her place.” Barnes's eyes slowly flickered past his shoulder with an easing smile. He looked down to the rubble. 

“Over my dead body-” Anthony had never turned his head faster. He instantly froze. The relief that had started to wash over him at seeing you had given way to embarrassment. His own injury was forgotten. You sat up and your eyes landed on him. “Hand yourself over to death, or you mad- What the hell happened to your shoulder?” 

“That would be my leave...” Barnes pointed to his left and swiftly left the two of you.

“My shoulder? Oh, it…I was shot.” He answered as simple as that, it contained no other details, nothing to ease your concern, which led you right into interrogating him.

“Shot?” You were taken aback by his nonchalant reply. “What do you mean, shot?” You exclaim. 

“Nothing worth troubling yourself about. How do you feel?” There was an air of tension between the two of you, where everything had become so fragile. After everything that had happened, a simple statement or action would break the illusion. You were awake and animated, and giving him a piece of your mind. It didn’t feel real in the slightest.

“I…” A wave of exhaustion was still coursing through your body, a result of the exhausting ordeal that you had just undergone. The ordeal had exhausted your body so much that your brain shut down. But your physical exhaustion also masked the emotional exhaustion you were feeling. You felt out of your element; overwhelmed by everything that was now around you. Everything felt unfamiliar to you, as though you had been transported into an unknown dimension, one where your mind felt trapped. Anthony’s ghost locked body in your arms. “I don’t know...I couldn’t wake up.”

"I know- The paramedics tried everything and-"

It was impossible to say what you did and didn't remember. But from what you recall, the events of the evening were a blur. "The mirror..." You attempted to scoot closer to him. Your hands grazed against Anthony's hair. Your eyes caught sight of his shoulder, wrapped in bandages and the sling that secured it together. Was it bleeding? But it wasn’t your primary focus. You just needed to feel him. “There were so many faces, so many faces.” You breathe out a gasp. Your eyes watering. “I saw you...”

“Me?”

"You were ghost-locked. I had lost you..." Your breath hitched.

"It wasn't real. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. It wasn't real." Anthony reassured, pressing kisses against your temple.

"But what if it was...What if what the mirror showed me becomes true?"

He paused, taking a moment to contemplate your concerns. Anthony had already spent the evening playing out the worst-case scenarios, but to hear you state them verbally had somehow made them more palpable. However, a small part of him was curious whether you saw your future by the mirrors doing, or if it was just an illusion to break you mentally.

"Then I'll make sure that doesn't happen." He whispered. His voice was tinged with emotion. His hands reached for yours and intertwined his fingers with yours. A sign of his promise to you.

“You can’t promise that-”

Anthony looked down at your hands, his eyes flickering between them as he attempted to focus on anything other than the overwhelming amount of emotions swirling within him, the emotions threatening to consume him whole. So he focused instead on your hands being intertwined with his, and the sight warmed him in a pleasant way he hadn't felt in many months, as the thought of possibly losing you had him filled with dread.

He leaned over and kissed your knuckles. “Did you not hear my declaration of my love for you?”

“Oh, the one where you give yourself to death- Like hell!” You yank your hand out of his with a scoff.

“Hand myself over–” He corrected you. “I’d hand myself over to death.” He continued.

“I’m about to hand you a right hook.” You throw a playful punch to his bad shoulder, forgetting his injury and rippling with regret instantly. “Oh!”

“Ow.” He groaned. “What’s the big issue?” He laughed softly. “What’s wrong with giving up my life for yours?” He teased. “You know I’d die for you.”

"You don't have my permission." You mutter softly. Bringing a hand up to brush back his hair.

As your hand brushed back his hair, Anthony couldn’t help but smile at the small gesture. He grabbed the hand you used to brush back his hair and lightly kissed the back of your hand again. “If I wanted to I would give myself over to death this very instant. I’d do just about anything for you, you know.” He replied. His gaze was now fully on you. His eyes were a deep amber, shining like two gemstones.

"And that's what scares me the most." You hum.

“It shouldn’t.” He scoffed with a smile. “Besides, I thought you valued my loyalty.” He raised a brow playfully.

"Yes. When I'm not there to defend my word. That’s when I put my whole faith in your loyalty to me...but when death comes knocking. I don't want it." Your eyes soften.

He looked away briefly, then back at you with a teasing smile. “I wouldn’t give my life to save just anyone, you know.”

"Oh, I'm aware." You fight back an amused smile. He noticed it though, he caught the smile that you attempted to mask. You were never able to conceal much around him, and that was all right. He liked seeing your emotions on full display. You were your truest self when you let your guard down around him. It made you all the more adorable that way. “And you?” He asked. “Would you give yourself to death for me?” He teased, but you knew he was serious.

Your smile widened for a moment before you caught yourself, and answered without taking a beat. You would allow him to know your fears, for the fear of seeing him suffer on your behalf was the worst feeling one could endure. That was something you hated the thought of. You didn’t quite see yourself as the more vulnerable one out of the two of you. Deep down Anthony conquered his inner demons through you, shared his past, his troubles, and confessed his deepest fears to you. You’d help him without any hesitation. You would do anything for the bloke, even if that meant going as far as sacrificing your own life for the sake of him getting to keep his, you would do it, and you’d do it in a heartbeat no less.

“Any given day.” One glance into your eyes and Anthony knew. He knew you would keep that promise till death tethered on whose hand to take. When? Well, you’d never truly know for sure.

Content with your answer, he leans in and kisses your cheek softly. You relax into his touch, your lashes brushing down on top of your under-eyes. He pulls away with a stupid grin. His eyes filled with want and mischief, your favorite combination.

[silverofthunder]

Skeletá •• review

i need to do this because reasons. not a professional music person so not gonna be that kind of review but anyway...

.

Piecefield: the choir opener is so beautiful and i love how this song is so hopeful. liked this already on the first listen, fell in love after that.

Lachryma: this song was a hit for me right from the start. i love everything about this song. this just scratches my brain the right way.

Satanized: the first single and i wasn't immediately sold but when i listened to this more, i fell in love. very catchy and groovy.

here i need to say that the 3 singles didn't really prepare me for the rest of the album. after these everything just went into a very unexpected direction.

tbh, there was like a millisecond when i thought i wouldn't like the album but the feeling passed quickly.

Guiding Lights: excuse me but this hit right in the feels and then i was sobbing. love the rawness of vocals, it's just fucking beautiful. ♡ i was waiting for these ballads and this delivered.

De Profundis Borealis: a beautiful start, and then boom, a unexpected change but damn this is so good. and the ending, fading part, is lovely.

Cenotaph: knowing what this is about, i thought this would be sadder but instead this is quite hopeful. still cried while listening to this. very synth heavy and i love it. a beautiful song in its own way. ♡

Missilia Amori: i'm a simple woman. when a song like this starts to play, i'm on my knees instantly. i don't care how cheesy or corny or whatever the lyrics are, this is rock 'n' roll for me baby. instant hit for me. 🫠 this FUCKS. very old school, btw, too.

Marks Of The Evil One: aaahhh, awesome! i'm sure this is gonna be playing in my head at some point. nailed again!

Umbra: already a fan fave it seems and i can see why. synths in the beginning, yeaaahhh baby. the cowbell! tbh, i didn't expect this fast paced song and i was like "???" at first but hey, this is so damn fun! the guitar + synths sound so cool.

Excelsis: why did you have to do this TF? like damn, i didn't need to cry more. such a beautiful song to end the album. 😭❤️ this is so comforting but also sad and i can't. i probably can't ever listen to this without crying. the ending lines have destroyed me. 😭

...

overall thoughts:

very different from previous albums. this really goes into the core of being human. damn, i'm still so amazed by this album and i will be so for a very long time.

i love how more raw the vocals sound and i think Tobias really showed his best vocals in this. he has such a unique and beautiful voice (and yeah, i've said that million times but i feel like i can never appreciate his voice enough). ♡

also, i kinda feel this isn't as polished album but it's not a bad thing. it just makes everything feel more... authentic. this kinda goes all over the place, yet it makes total sense. because that's what being human is.

for me, it's easy to connect with this album. this was just what i needed now. ♡

and then the hot topic: where does this album settle in my list?

well, i have to say that i don't want to compare this with other albums at all. i love the album and i love the change that has happened. this album shook me but i'm glad it did. change is not a bad thing and oftentimes it's even needed in life to be able to continue forward.

so yeah, the album slaps hard.

[whatshameifyoumisspeak]

Bob Thunderbolt (and Sentry) on My Mind....

Yes this is Thunderbolts* related, I'm NOT sorry! MCU brain rot is heavy right now and I have never been happier. Also putting a quick disclaimer that I haven't had my proper rewatch of the movie yet because movie tickets are very expensive right now so I have to wait for it to go on streaming. Very very sad.... but with that out of the way I shall start my ramblings.

This was prompted by a thought of "What would Bob's reaction be to being in the Sentry suit again. I just imagine Valentina sends him a new Sentry suit, egging him along wanting him to go out in the public again as Sentry.

When referring back to the scene after he fights the Thunderbolts. He gains an extreme God complex. Just from the comparison to the original Avengers team, Sentry goes to the extreme. With this I think it would be safe to say that Bob himself absolutely craves being seen as a symbol of hope by public. After being treated like shit for years from his family to strangers on the streets, he has never been a valued member of society. The idea of being a super is so appealing to him. It's why he agrees to get the "operation" in the first place.

But Bob knows he can't be a superhero ever again. With the Sentry comes Void and he has seen the consequences of it all. Still he watches the Thunderbolts/ New Avengers members and can't help but feel so useless compared to them. Of course they don't mean any harm, but the comments from Alexi and John asking "when will Sentry make his next appearance?", those comments tend to linger in his head.

He still does the basic chores around the watchtower, he knows that doing even the most simple tasks can be of help to his friends. But in the grand scheme of things...? Even with their praises, he knows how hollow they can come out as, they're literally super heroes.

Bob is just absolutely GUTTED knowing that he could never just be the sentry. Maybe he could use his powers short lived, for tiny things. But to be an actual hero would be putting the entire world at risk of the void. He probably goes around the city doing minor things like picking up litter off the streets. Helping the homeless community. Volunteering where he can. Maybe he works a few customer service jobs just so he can stay public facing and make some sort of impact on locals.

But there are days where he knows he can do more. He debates on putting that costume on and being the hero he know he can be. But then the void trickles in. Threatening to destroy any good that he is capable of...

So maybe he puts the suit on. Just for a minute. It wouldn't hurt! Just to feel powerful again even if it was going to be for just a few minuets. He can imagine what he could've been. The lives he could've saved if he could learn to contain the void. The wars he could end if being sentry didn't actually hurt his mental state. Just for a minute he pretends that there's a universe where he is just a Superman and can actually make a difference, rather than just doing the dishes.

Sorry that this is kinda incoherent and a little all over the place. I tried my best to make this make sense but it's still a little crazy. Also if you have any input on this topic please let me know. I want other peoples opinions soooo bad.