#I hope I'll be wild and finish what I started a year ago *looks at the animatic*

[neurotraum]

Last year also started with a pencil ghost boy and where am I now

[hs-is-loml]

You Know This. (cl16)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x best friend!Reader

Summary: moments of charles and reader throughout the years that show they are so obviously meant for each other so carlos gives them a small push. (they are basically together but without the title...)

Warnings: mentions of Jules and Hervé so little angst but the majority is fluff! one kiss? lando swears. cute couple moments of two idiots UNEDITED

a/n: almost forgot how to write compared to the social media AUs i've been doing... hope you enjoy :)

all translations of french below

Chérie = darling

masterlist

19 years old

You stared out the window overlooking the streets of Baku until you heard a sigh from across the room.

“I’m so tired. Is it even worth going through this weekend?” Charles admitted as you looked over to him running his hands over his face while he took a seat on the edge of the hotel bed. “I don’t know if I’ll make it through.”

“No one will blame you if you don’t,” you said walking over to stand in front of him. 

“That’s what they all expect isn’t it?” 

“You’re doing more than enough just being here,” you brought your hands to his face and gently rubbed your thumb along his jaw. 

“I miss him, Y/n. How am I supposed to continue without him?” he whispered while he wrapped his arms around your frame and pulled you closer to lean his head against your stomach. 

You could tell that he had finally reached a breaking point from holding out on his own emotions as he helped everyone in the family with theirs. You knew that he was staying strong for Pascale and Arthur while Lorenzo was handling everything for Hervé’s funeral. When he asked you to accompany him for this race, you said yes without any doubts crossing your mind.   

You soon feel his shoulders shake as he lets out soft sobs. “You continue for him. Just like you have done for Jules, they’re going to watch your legacy grow together. One day you’ll be driving in that red car placing poles and winning races. You will make it through this,” you played with the hair at the nape of his neck as you reassured him.

You were aware that he had told Hervé a few weeks ago that he had signed with Ferrari already. In the past few years, it had always been the goal. Everyone understood how crucial it was for him to make that come true.

“You can’t be sure of that.”

“I know, but I believe in you. We all do. It’s only a matter of time.”

“What would I do without you?” he lifted up his head to look at you.

“Well, it’s a good thing I never plan on leaving you,” you leaned down to press a gentle kiss on the crown of his head. 

"I'll never let you go."

20 years old

You were talking with Andrea and Lorenzo near the Alfa Romeo motorhome while you all waited for Charles to finish with media day. “How do you think he’s doing with the news?” you anxiously looked around in the hope of seeing him heading your way. “The media has gone wild when the contact got out that he signed with Ferrari.”

“Probably basking in the attention,” Lorenzo laughed. “You know how long he’s waited for this.”

“That boy never fails to catch the camera either,” Andrea added while you covered your mouth with your hand trying to stifle your laugh when you realized that Charles was finally done for the day. 

Charles came to your side snaking an arm around your waist and teasingly poked you, “What are you three laughing about you?” 

“You,” all of you replied, causing him to gasp in fake annoyance. 

“I know ma chérie would never do such a thing,” he shook his head at the two men. “Enzo, look how bad of an influence you are.” Which was Andrea’s queue to quietly leave before he was targeted by the young driver too. He took Lorenzo along with him as the older brother gaped at the accusation. 

You both started to head to his driver’s room to gather his things before driving back to the hotel. “How was it?” you asked him while you took out his phone from your purse.

“A lot. It feels like it’s never ending and everyone keeps congratulating,” he smiled and reached out for the phone. 

“I’ve only heard of all the good things so far,” you tell him and hand the phone back to him. 

You had begun to look for your jacket, and it was almost as if he had read your mind, “It’s right here, I’ve got it.”

As you two walked out of the paddock, there were still crowds of fans and photographers lingering around the area hoping to catch a glimpse of one of the drivers. People started to whisper and squeal when they saw Charles place his hat on your head allowing you to shield your face from the now flashing cameras. 

“Who is she?”

“Aww, that’s so sweet!”

“They must be dating.” 

“Charles! Over here!”

“Can you sign this for me please!”

You listened to all the hollers from the crowd as you got into the car, “Wow.”

“You okay?” Charles softly asked and glanced at you before starting to drive back to the hotel.

“Were they always like that while you were in F2 and I’ve never noticed?” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. 

“I’m not sure,” he chuckled at your reaction. 

21 years old

“He has one more corner!” you held onto Andrea’s arm anxiously looking at the screen.

“MERCEDES THREW EVERYTHING AT HIM TODAY… CHARLES LECLERC HAS COPED BRILLIANTLY!” you heard from the speakers.

“HE’S GOT IT!” one of the crew members screamed when they saw Charles shoot down to the line.

“HE WINS IN SPA, HE WINS IN MONZA! CHARLES LECLERC IS THE WINNER OF THE 2019 ITALIAN GRAND PRIX!” David Croft announced as Charles crossed the finish line. He had just won in Monza in front of the infamous Tifosi. 

You felt yourself get pushed to the front of the barrier as people started rushing to see the winner. The momentous scene couldn’t have been better. He had just ended the nine-year winless streak in Monza and scored his second consecutive race win. All you could hear in the hectic moment was the Ferrari crew chanting out in Italian for Charles. The crowds of fans roared out in cheers and the stands filled with raised Ferrari and Italian flags. 

You will never forget the moment he jumped down from on top of his car and made his way over to you. His hands found your sides as you held the sides of his helmet. “You did it,” your smile wide and eyes filled with tears as you focused on him. 

“For them,” he told you tenderly.

“For them,” you repeated and placed a kiss right where you thought the corner of his mouth would have been. The crew reached over to congratulate him, and the cameras were pointed directly at him wanting to capture the moment. 

The podium ceremony was scintillating. The crew, media, and Tifosi all packed in to see their winner. Andrea knew to keep you close to the front knowing that Charles would want to see you more than anyone else. It wasn’t only you looking up at him in admiration though it seemed like the world stopped for a moment when he blew a kiss back down to you from the podium.

Your cheeks flushed from the action and beamed as you met his eyes, “I love you,” you mouthed to him hoping he could read your lips from the stand. 

“I love you,” he replied back.  

22 years old

With COVID delaying the F1 season and everyone having to quarantine. You and Charles had decided to move in together into his apartment to keep each other company. It wasn’t hard to fall into a routine for you two. 

“Y/n! Can you bring me water please?” you heard a yell from Charles’ gaming room.

You got up from the couch and set aside your book heading into the kitchen. Decided to bring him a small pack of crackers as well along with the water since he had been on stream for a while. You brought the plate to him which he thanked you for and gave your hand three small squeezes. 

The simple interaction caused the chat to make tons of new comments flow through regarding you. Over the past few years, you found yourself more comfortable with your life in front of the camera because of his career, and it makes you look back to the times of Charles’ first year in F1. You could now give a small wave to the camera before you planned to head back out to the door.

“That’s not fair,” you heard Lando complain from the screen, causing you to halt in your footsteps to listen closely. “You have Y/n to bring you stuff, and you don’t even need to stop the game.”

“Lando’s just jealous he doesn’t have anybody,” George snickered.

“Damn right, I am,” Lando huffed out. “I want a Y/n.”

Charles noticed you silently laughing and he motioned for you to come back over wanting to tease Lando a bit more. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you in closer to be in the frame, “Too bad there’s only one of her.”

Lando started muttering about how it was not his fault that he was alone during these times all while you shook your head at their antics. Alex and George continued the jokes creating a newfound argument that moved the topic away from you and Charles. “What do you want for dinner?” you questioned him softly not wanting to disrupt the chaotic banter from the others.

“Will you make carbonara?”

“DID YOU HEAR THAT??” Lando pointed to the screen baffled. “SHE EVEN COOKS DINNER FOR HIM! WHEN WILL IT BE MY TURN? Y/N, WILL YOU COOK FOR ME NEXT TIME?”

“Sure, Lando. Once quarantine ends we can plan something out,” you replied with a sweet smile towards the camera.

“YES!” he cheered out at your response.

“Once we get back to racing, will you bring your cookies again?” George asked excitedly.

“Or the muffins!” Alex added on. 

“I’ll go and bring them if you bring Lily, Alex!” you answered them.

24 years old

You told Charles earlier in the week telling him that you couldn’t make it to the Bahrain Grand Prix due to work. Really you just wanted to surprise him, and you had been in contact with Carlos planning it out.

“I think he is getting suspicious of me,” Carlos told you over the phone as you got your bags together waiting for Carlos’ cousin to come and get you from the airport.

“Well, I’ve only sent him short messages for the past few days and maybe ignored a couple of his calls because I can’t keep lying to him…” you explained which caused the man on the other side of the phone to snicker at your dispense. 

“I swear you want him to kill me, Y/n. Once he finds out.”

“Find out what? Who are you talking to all the time, mate?” you listened to Charles continuously question Carlos.

"No one!" Carlos quipped.

"Is that Y/n?" Charles asked him.

"No, it's my sister..."

“Good luck!” you hung up the call quickly and got into the car with Carlos Oñoro.

“Charles found out?” he started heading to the hotel that the Ferrari team was staying at. 

“Hopefully not yet, but Carlos was talking about how he’s on to him already.”

A notification went off on your phone and you saw it was a text message from Carlos.

You opened your messages with Charles and came up with something quick to text him about.

at the circuit 

“Hermosa! You made it!” Carlos exclaimed when he saw you walking towards the group of the drivers that just got out of the media pen. "I swear he was going to choke me earlier."

You laughed at his remark and went over to his side to whisper to him, “He doesn’t know I’m here yet, right?”

He tugged you a bit closer and kept his hand on your upper back. He spoke into your ear in a hushed tone while carefully looking around, “Not a clue, but you remember what I said over text? You say he’s not your boyfriend yet, so let’s mess with him just a little. It’ll prove something to you.”

“Prove what-” 

You were cut off by Lando as he finally took notice of your presence, “Y/n! Tell me you brought them!”

“Yes, Lando,” you smiled, taking a small packaged bag of cookies out of your bag before you could even hand them to him. He had snatched it and already begun opening the bag. “Yours are back at the hotel,” you told Carlos who was trying to take one from Lando.

“GIVE ME ONE!” George yelled at Lando who took his chance and ran off with his cookies. 

“NO!” causing George to chase after the Mclaren driver. 

Another group of drivers came over as they had just finished with their interviews. You saw Charles talking with Sebastian but he didn’t see you yet. “Sweetheart! A pleasant surprise, Charles was just talking about how you couldn’t make it,” Sebastian said with a smile as he walked past you with Fernando. 

“Hello, Sebastian,” you smiled back and felt a breath near your ear. 

“How long do you think it will take him to drag you away?” Carlos said in a low voice.

“He wouldn’t,” you mutter back.

“Oh, yes he would. Good luck with him,” Carlos grinned as Charles had stormed over to you two and grabbed a hold of your wrist.

“Charlie!” you yelped as you tried to keep up with his pace towards the Ferrari’s motorhome and into his driver’s room. 

He shut the door behind him, “So you can text Carlos but not me?”

"What are you talking about?" you acted confused."

"I know you were on call with Carlos earlier. But you couldn't even answer mine this morning?"

“It was supposed to be a surprise, Charles,” you huffed out.

“What a surprise that you and Carlos are together now?” he scoffed at the mere thought.

You began to laugh aloud which caused him to frustrate even further, “E-ex-cuse me?” you said through your laughter.

“This is not funny, Y/n.”

“Charles, it’s funny you think that I would even do anything with Carlos in the first place,” you pointed out to him while setting your bag down on a chair. 

You heard his footsteps come closer to you until you felt him press against your back, “Are you not?”

You turned around to face him and took his face in your hands, “Of course not.”

“Good,” he placed his hands on your waist rubbing up and down your sides.

“And why is that?” you raised your eyebrow at him.

“Y-you kno-o-ow b-b-because you’r-re…” he trailed off a stuttering mess caught off guard by your question.

You stroke his jaw with your thumbs and brought his face closer to yours, “Charles, I’m yours. You know this.”

He leaned down and closed the gap between your lips in a long-awaited kiss. He kissed you gently as if he were testing the waters. You smiled against his lips and moved to wrap your arms around his neck as his hands moved to your hips. You moved forward slightly to lean more into him and he let out a groan against your mouth. He stilled in the kiss, keeping your hips in place from moving further. 

“No more surprises, okay?" he said as you separated.

"Okay, but no more jumping to conclusions either."

"You are going to give me gray hairs early, Chérie," he exasperated.

[edenesth]

The Way to His Heart [7]

Pairing: general!Seonghwa x wife!reader

AU: arranged marriage au (Joseon era)

Word Count: 4k

Summary: Life has been hell ever since your mother's passing many years ago. Despite being from a prominent family, you've never received the privileges associated with it. It only got worse with the arrival of your stepmother and her daughters. When the intimidating General Park was in search of a wife, your father seized the opportunity to dispose of you, simultaneously securing a connection with the powerful general—killing two birds with one stone.

Part 6 | Fic Masterlist | Part 8

"Has anyone seen the mistress?" Seonghwa inquired, having lost sight of you since breakfast that morning.

He had combed through almost the entire estate, searching for you in the House of Lotus and with Eunsook, but to no avail. He had even gone as far as to check Yunho's temporary quarters, only to find the physician alone and engrossed in his work.

The general felt a twinge of embarrassment as he recalled asking the doctor, "Do you have any clue where my wife is?" only to have the taller man furrow his brows in confusion and reply, "Wha— not to be rude, but how would I know that, my lord?"

Your husband cleared his throat loudly, looking away and feigning nonchalance, "Don't get clever with me; I'm just asking. If you don't know, just say so."

Yunho lowered his head and suppressed a laugh, "You're right. My apologies, my lord. I hope you find Lady Park soon. Her next dose of medicine is almost ready. It would be best if she takes it while it's hot; the taste is slightly more bearable."

"Right, I'll find her soon. Don't worry."

The physician nodded, "I have no doubt that you will, my lord."

With that, Seonghwa hastily exited the room, questioning his decision to come there in the first place. He couldn't fathom why he assumed you would be with the handsome doctor. Even though he hadn't found you yet, there was a sense of relief in knowing that at least you weren't anywhere near Yunho, as he had feared.

And that's how he ended up back at your quarters, interrogating the servants responsible for maintaining your garden. A frown etched on his face as they shook their heads in response, "No, master. Mistress hasn't returned here since leaving for breakfast this morning."

Worry crept in as his mind conjured up wild scenarios. What if you had been taken away? What if you got hurt somewhere, unnoticed by anyone? What if—

His eyes landed on the pavilion in your garden, and it struck him. Remembering your determination to learn lady etiquette, he chastised himself for not thinking to check his own study. He had searched almost every corner of the estate except the very place he frequented the most.

Please, let her be there.

Fingers crossed, he hurried towards the study. If he didn't find you there, he might have to organise a search party.

"There you are."

His words escaped in a breathless whisper as he spotted you standing amidst his numerous shelves, completely engrossed in the book cradled in your hands. Instant relief washed over him, and he struggled to look away. Bathed in sunlight by the window, you appeared almost ethereal in that spot, your side profile captivating.

The marks on your skin had started to fade a little, with the help of Yunho's ointment, proving its effectiveness. For your comfort, the maids were instructed not to apply makeup if you weren't leaving the estate. Besides, no one here would dare consider you anything less than beautiful; you were adored by all. Your scars only strengthened everyone's determination to protect you, not just your husband.

He continued to quietly admire you from his corner, hesitant to disturb you. As you finished one book and reached for the next on a top shelf, he chuckled at your determination, especially when you went on your toes, biting your lip in concentration.

Eventually, he sighed and approached you, reaching effortlessly for the book you were attempting to get. You gasped as you felt his presence and saw his hand beside yours, "Y-you're here, Seonghwa."

Both your breaths hitched, and your eyes widened as you turned around to face him, realising the closeness. Surprised, you stumbled backwards, and his reflexes kicked in, his arm circling your back immediately, pulling you close. Frozen, your hands rested on his chest to steady yourself.

"Yes, I'm here." He murmured, his eyes shifting to see you biting your lips shyly again, the action reigniting his desire to kiss you. You stood still as a plank, heart pounding as he slowly closed the space between you. You held your breath when feeling his nose touch yours. Never having been kissed or wanted in your life, you didn't know how to react or what to do. Was this what married couples normally do?

Maybe now you'll find out.

A chill ran down your spine when you felt his lips brush lightly against yours, "Can I..." He muttered in his deep voice, gazing down at you with hooded eyes.

Before you could form a response, the door to the study slammed open, startling the two of you, and causing you to jump apart as if caught doing something scandalous.

Damn it, so close!

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, sir! I didn't mean to interrupt; it's just that—" Jongho was a mess as he stumbled in, panting and sputtering his apology.

You quickly waved to the assistant to signal it was fine before bowing to the general, "No, please, don't worry! I was just leaving anyway. I'll see you at dinner, Seonghwa."

Smiling at you, your husband nodded, "Yes. See you, my dear," The smile disappeared as soon as you left the room, causing Jongho to gulp nervously, "This better be good."

The assistant quickly collected himself, "Oh, it will be good, sir. I can promise you that." He said, rushing to make sure the doors were shut tightly before going back to debrief his master on his latest findings.

Eunsook heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing you, her concern evident as she observed you pressing your palms against your red cheeks, "Mistress, are you feeling alright?" She inquired, checking your forehead for any signs of fever.

You nodded, "I-I'm fine," attempting to calm your rapid heartbeat. The almost-lost moment with your husband lingered continuously in your mind; your first kiss had come perilously close to happening just moments ago.

"Thank goodness, you're alright. We've been looking everywhere for you. Where were you?" She questioned, and you replied, "You were looking for me? I was just reading in Seonghwa's study."

The elderly woman continued, "Yes, your medicine is ready. Physician Jung suggested taking it while it's hot," With an obedient nod, you followed her into your room. As she fed you the herbal soup, she casually asked, "You were in the master's study, you say? Did he find you there? He was searching frantically for you."

Your blush returned as you recalled the sensation of his lips brushing against yours, "Y-yes, he knows I'm safe. Don't worry." You reassured her while the head maid beamed, unaware of the fluttering in your heart as you tried to compose yourself.

Unlike you, the general did not have the luxury to linger on thoughts of your intimate moment. He vowed to himself that once your family received the retribution they deserved, he would dedicate all his attention to you. He turned serious the moment Jongho began speaking, updating him on the latest intel gathered about your family.

"What? Do those fools actually believe I'd swap my wife for one of them? Not even in their wildest dreams will that ever happen." Seonghwa scoffed in disbelief. The mere thought of your stepsisters was enough to repulse him, and he couldn't wait to send them to an early grave.

He pulled out the Jang family records again, asking, "And as for this... are there any updates? We only have a few days left until I return to work."

Jongho nodded proudly, presenting a couple of documents obtained in a not-so-honest manner, "You were right, sir. Your suspicions were accurate. We found just the thing to prove it. With this, we can finalise the plans and finally set them into motion."

"Good job, Jongho. How about that private investigator of yours?" The general inquired, his mind already buzzing with excitement as he plotted your family's demise.

The assistant bowed in gratitude, "He's still maintaining his cover in the Jang estate. He expressed his desire to assist us with the plan. Apparently, he's a huge admirer of yours, sir. That seemed to be his primary motivation for readily accepting my offer."

Seonghwa narrowed his eyes, his mistrust evident, "Is he now? Have you done a background check on him?"

"I have, sir. He's in the clear; I can vouch for him. I'm confident he harbours no ulterior motives other than a genuine admiration for you; he wants nothing more than to be recognised by you."

The general nodded, picking up the newly retrieved documents, "If you say so, I guess it won't hurt to have an extra helping hand. Make sure to pay him handsomely. Now, go get some rest; we'll be getting busy soon." His heart was immediately eased by his aide's assurance. If Jongho trusted this person, there must be a good reason.

"Yes, sir."

In the days that followed, Seonghwa appeared awfully busy, often confined to his study with Jongho for endless meetings. The next morning, you found a collection of your lady etiquette books delivered to your doorstep, with a servant mentioning that the study was required for important discussions between your husband and his assistant.

Assuming he was loaded with work after taking several days off, you didn't dwell on it much. While the general focused on perfecting his plans, you spent your days refining your etiquette with the head maid's help, working on correcting your posture, walking, table manners, and way of speaking.

The two of you only had brief encounters twice a day, during breakfast and dinner. Seonghwa apologised repeatedly, promising to spend more time with you once he completed his current project, and you reassured him that you were fine.

Time passed quickly, and before you knew it, a new week had begun, marking your husband's return to work. After your customary breakfast together, you walked him to the entrance of the estate, where his carriage awaited to transport him to the palace for the morning assembly with His Majesty, the King.

"This is as far as you'll see me off. It's cold out here, so don't spend too much time outdoors, okay? Head back to my study if you want, and take your medicine on time." He reminded sweetly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

You smiled appreciatively, assuring him, "I will, Seonghwa. Don't worry about me. Have a good day at work." His heart melted at your words, and the sense of being husband and wife settled in. Having someone waiting for him at home felt unexpectedly warm, and he realised he could get used to it.

That's right, just keep smiling like that.

Rubbing his thumbs over your hands, he pressed a kiss onto your knuckles, saying, "I'll see you later, my dear."

Eunsook and Jongho exchanged knowing grins as they guided their master and mistress in opposite directions—Seonghwa into his carriage and you back to your quarters.

Carrying you in his thoughts, the general commenced his journey to the royal palace. He had always harboured disdain for the Minister of Military Affairs, but it had never been potent enough to instigate his downfall. However, circumstances had taken a drastic turn with your arrival. Your father had gravely miscalculated if he believed this union between you was a wise decision; in reality, it paved the way for his own undoing.

Unfazed by the attention, he arrived at the assembly, becoming the centre of attention for all the ministers and officials. Their curiosity was stirred by the general who had adamantly refused marriage, yet now found himself wedded against his will. Speculation abounded about whether he would cause a scene, as all members had been notified of his special agenda.

Your husband, however, remained unaffected by the scrutiny. He anticipated the spotlight, fully aware that these old fools relished nothing more than witnessing his misery. Despite his recognised achievements, it didn't automatically translate into wholehearted acceptance from these higher-ups. Their displeasure was palpable, harbouring reservations about his young age and the potential threat he posed to their established ranks.

The revelation of his marriage to you only fueled their satisfaction, as they believed that being tied to the Minister of Military Affairs would ensure Seonghwa's perpetual subordination, always a step below his father-in-law in rank.

"Good morning, General Park. You seem to be in quite a good mood." Your husband felt his eye twitch, hearing the voice he wasn't looking forward to.

Speak of the devil.

Facing your father, he smirked, "Good morning, Minister Jang. I can't deny that I am feeling quite good." It satisfied him to see your father's grin falter slightly, knowing the old man probably didn't know what to expect, but it surely wasn't this. The last thing they all expected was for him to appear... pleased.

Before the minister could voice any questions, the King entered the hall. Along with everyone else, the general knelt and bowed deeply, performing the formal greeting. In unison, they chanted, "Your Majesty, may you live a long and prosperous life. We wish for you ten thousand years of life and reign."

"You may all rise," declared His Majesty before expressing joy at the presence of his favourite subject, "Seonghwa, my boy! You're finally back! Oh, I cannot wait to hear all about your week off."

The minister raised a smug brow, eyeing your husband and presuming that his week could not have been too pleasant with you around. While he was almost certain of that, it seemed the general was adept at keeping up the act. Your father eagerly anticipated hearing about this important agenda without delay.

"Tell me, my boy. Is your wife as beautiful as we all speculated? There must have been a good reason for the minister to keep her so well hidden all these years." The King inquired, his excitement evident as he leaned forward in his seat.

Seonghwa chuckled, "Your Majesty, perhaps it wouldn't be too appropriate for us to engage in idle chatter in this meeting. After all, I'm sure all the ministers and officials here have more pressing matters to discuss and probably care little for the details of my marriage." He was merely teasing at this point, knowing full well that everyone was eager to hear about his past week.

"Nonsense! What could possibly be more important than your recent wedding? If anyone here has no interest in what General Park has to share, you are welcome to leave the assembly."

While leaving the assembly might seem like a simple option, it practically equated to a death sentence. Without the King's explicit permission, no one would be allowed to exit on their own. This implied that whoever refused to listen to what your husband had to say might as well be choosing a path leading to their demise.

All the higher-ups immediately bowed their heads low with clenched fists as they voiced in unison, "Of course not! We wouldn't dare, Your Majesty!" They were well aware of Seonghwa's subtle assertion of power over the King. Regardless of their high positions or ranks, he would always be the favourite. While it might go unnoticed by the less perceptive, it was a clear demonstration of authority, a warning not to cross him.

"Very well, I suppose I'll divulge a bit about my wife since you're all so eager to hear about her," The general couldn't conceal his shit-eating grin, pleased to have put these elderly men in their rightful places. The King applauded enthusiastically, "Please do!"

Minister Jang's earlier arrogance evaporated with your husband's unmistakable show of power, and he could only suppress his irritation as he waited to hear what Seonghwa would say about you.

"To answer your question, Your Majesty, she is even more stunning than you all might imagine, perhaps the most beautiful woman in all of Joseon, both inside and out, at least in my eyes. And you were right, my King, she truly is perfect for me. For that, I'd like to express my gratitude for sending her to me."

The entire room stood at a standstill as everyone tried to process his words. It was almost surreal that the formidable General Park, who had always been so adamant about never marrying and was coerced into this union without a choice, openly expressed his admiration for his new wife. Apart from the King, who genuinely relished hearing it, the rest of the assembly remained sceptical, wondering what game Seonghwa was playing.

"And because of that, I regret my earlier decision of not having a proper wedding ceremony. I now know my wife deserves only the best, which brings me to the important matter I'd like to address today, Your Majesty. I was hoping you would grant me permission to fix that. I'd like to plan a grand wedding to make up to her."

Your father narrowed his eyes dangerously; this was the furthest thing from what he had expected. He would rather die than give you a grand wedding. He thought he was finally done with you, believing you could have perished for all he cared. Yet, here your husband was, requesting to host a grand wedding? And for you?

Over my dead body.

His Majesty couldn't contain his joy, letting out a surprised laugh, "Oh my, Seonghwa! I'm so proud of you; I was beginning to grow worried you'd never allow yourself to love again. And of course, you can have a grand wedding! We shall host one as grand as a royal wedding if need be! Heavens, I cannot wait to meet this new Lady Park of yours; she must be something for you to have changed this much!"

Minister Jang cleared his throat, "Your Majesty, if I may cut in."

The King nodded, "Why, of course. It's your daughter we're discussing; do you have any ideas for the ceremony?"

Your father shook his head, "N-no, my King. I was hoping to remind the general that my daughter prefers simplicity and that this would not be necessary—"

With a smirk, Seonghwa cut him off, "Well then, minister, it would seem you do not know your daughter well enough, or at all."

The Minister of Military Affairs stilled at that; obviously, the general knew more than he let on, "Wha— that's not true! My eldest has always been one for frugality and would never ask for much, let alone a grand wedding; she might find that burdensome."

"Has she really not asked for much, or has she not been permitted to have a voice at all?" Your husband pressed, watching expectantly as the minister sputtered lame excuses, caught off guard.

Not oblivious to the fact that Seonghwa was attempting to convey something, the King raised a brow at Minister Jang's defensive demeanour, "What is it that you wish to say, my boy?"

Panicked, your father gulped, afraid of what the general might reveal. Not once did he think the heartless General Park would ever care about what happened to you. He assumed that, just like all the members of his family and estate, your new husband would also cast you aside and not bat an eyelash if you died, as had happened with all his previous marriage candidates.

"Your Majesty, even though Minister Jang is now my father-in-law, I feel compelled to speak out against the injustice I perceive for my wife," The minister did not dare to look up as he felt cold sweat dripping down his back, listening anxiously to what Seonghwa was going to disclose, "No matter how much he thinks she prefers simplicity, it just wasn't right for him to have sent her to me all alone on our wedding day."

With a frown, His Majesty eyed your father judgementally, "All alone? Please elaborate, Seonghwa."

Suppressing his sly grin, your husband continued, "My assistant found her wandering all by herself by the entrance of my estate, without a chaperone, any servants or palanquin bearers. And what's worse, she barely had anything on her, only carrying an empty duffel bag. Tell me, Your Majesty, who would believe her to be a noblewoman from a powerful house? I simply cannot understand why the minister could do this to his precious daughter."

"Is that true, Minister Jang?" The King's emotionless voice rang across the hall, and the minister shivered from the chill running down his spine, "W-well, yes, but—"

Everyone jumped when His Majesty slammed his fist against the handle of his throne, "That is simply unacceptable! It doesn't matter how much you insist your daughter favours simplicity; what you've done is completely ridiculous. Can you even call yourself her father? Oh, the poor girl."

Your father bowed all the way down immediately, pressing his forehead against the floor as he begged for forgiveness, embarrassed to have his wrongdoings exposed at assembly for everyone to listen like this, "Please, Your Majesty! Forgive this old fool for taking my kind daughter for granted! I will do anything to make up to her as you wish, a grand wedding if you will."

As if seeking Seonghwa's approval, the King looked at the general, "Would that suffice?"

Shrugging, your husband pressed his lips into a line, "I suppose I do have one condition, though," His Majesty nodded, "Name it."

The general smiled, "I've troubled you enough with concerns regarding my marital matters, Your Majesty. For this wedding of mine, I'd like to personally make the arrangements with the minister and his family, preferably at his estate."

"At his estate and not here? Why is that, Seonghwa?" The King asked, unable to contain his curiosity.

"I just want to see where my beloved wife spent all her childhood; I'm curious about the environment that made her so precious."

As the King showered praise on your husband for his apparent sweetness and saw it merely as Seonghwa being hopelessly in love with you, Minister Jang knew better than that he had an ulterior motive, and it couldn't bode well. The general clearly has something up his sleeves, but in the presence of His Majesty, your father found himself with little choice but to comply.

What do you want from me, Park Seonghwa?

« Preview of Part 8 »

"What?! A grand wedding for that useless thing? Oh, you've got to be kidding me!" Jinah screeched, her frustration evident as she pulled at her hair.

Jinhee, in disbelief, glared at your old prison cell of a room from a distance. Servants had been ordered to fill it up with things to make it seem like a storeroom in preparation for Seonghwa's visit, "Maybe we've underestimated her. It seems she actually got the general wrapped around her finger."

Minister Jang had nothing to say except to hold his head in his hands. He couldn't forget the King's disapproving looks directed at him all throughout the assembly after what your husband had revealed. Not just His Majesty; but even the other ministers and officials had been staring at him weirdly, not understanding him for what he did to his own daughter.

Jinjoo stomped around like a brat, "Father, you promised us that marrying her to him would bring us satisfaction! What the hell is this?! I refuse to accept this!"

Having had enough of their whining, the minister threw the wine glass beside him onto the floor, "Be quiet, all of you! Do you honestly think the wedding is what matters now? My position could very well be in danger, and you care about that? Fools! Get out of my sight!"

The three were taken aback by the minister's unexpected fit of anger, and their mother quickly gestured for them to leave the living hall at once. Once they were gone, Lady Jang sat down beside her husband, "What is it, dear? What's wrong?"

"Park Seonghwa knows something, I'm sure of it. He said some things today that could make me look suspicious, and if anyone starts digging around, I fear they might find out what we've been trying to hide..."

Woohoo, shit's about to go down! Are y'all excited? HAHAHA🤭

I'm also shook that I'm like 20 followers away from reaching 1k! Thank you all so much; I just want you to know that it's your encouraging messages and replies that have been motivating me to update as quick as I can, really appreciate it!

As always, hope you enjoyed and let me know all your thoughts! <3

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[forfucksakesniall]

“Hearts on Hold” - a draft

a sequel to Car's Outside after part 4

𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:

Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Driver!Reader

Word Count: 1,692

A/N: This might be the only part for now. Not sure if I would continue it but I will be doing drabbles about it

The day you left was tough. It was a step towards your personal growth and independence. Yet, deep down, you wanted to be by his side throughout the entire winter break. Your mind was filled with conflicting thoughts.

Why did we leave? 

Because we need to rely on ourselves and not depend on others too much. 

So, does that mean our emotions stem from past issues?

No, not necessarily... maybe. I'm not really sure but that is why we're doing this.

You constantly debate whether you made the right decision or not. However, all doubts disappear when he sends you a text message. Each day, his words bring comfort and kindness. You don't respond much because thoughts of him make your mind race.

You don't intentionally ignore him, but there's a certain pleasure in having alone time, where you can fully immerse yourself in the moment. You've grown typical of being alone, and it feels like home. Some may see it as a lonely existence, but they can't grasp the experience of being solely on yourself.

You found yourself in the Czech Republic, a land rich in history and culture. It's a place that fosters personal growth and development. With its stunning architecture, like the iconic Prague Castle, and its vibrant arts scene. You felt like a princess, wandering through the city in search of love or simply a new adventure. 

As you sat at a charming café, savoring your evening coffee and engrossed in a book, it provided a familiar and comforting feeling.

Suddenly, your phone buzzed, breaking the tranquil atmosphere. You glanced down to see one of many of Lewis' daily text messages.

A day ago, 5:06 PM:

Lew

Good morning! You better manage to squeeze in some workouts today, haha. They already miss you - my niece and nephew. I miss you too, but you already knew that...

Yesterday, 5:44 PM:

Lew

Hey, just checking in to see if you're doing alright. Text me when you can. I miss you. I'll see you soon.

Today, 5:04 PM:

Lew

Still missing you, and Roscoe was looking for you.

Today, 5:10 PM:

Lew

Coachella was absolutely wild! Wish you were here. They kept asking if you were coming. I told them you were off doing something way more exciting. Maybe you'll join me next year, haha.

He persisted in texting you, as he could see that you had received and read his messages. Gosh, he deserves someone better, you thought, prompting you to finally respond.

You

Hey Lewis, sorry for not replying earlier. I'm actually doing really well. Sometimes, I do get a little lost, but that's what makes the adventure exciting, right? I won't tell my current location, haha. I hope I don't run into you here, following me around. I'll see you when I return to Monaco.

You reread the messages you sent, caught up in overthinking the entire situation. Just as you finish, he responds.

Lew

I'll see you back at home.

That familiar, tingling, warm feeling rushes back. You suddenly blush, feeling slightly embarrassed by your public display of emotions.

"Ughhh," you mutter to yourself.

Feeling compelled, you text him once again.

You

I miss you too

You quickly type and send it before locking your phone and slamming it onto the table. Frustrated with yourself, you feel like a silly schoolgirl texting her crush.

Lost in your embarrassment, you're suddenly interrupted as someone taps your shoulder. Your heart starts pounding, echoing in your ears.

You slowly turn around and find yourself face-to-face with none other than Mick Schumacher.

"Mick! W-what brings you here?" you stammer, taken aback by his sudden appearance. You were seated outside a café, with only a wooden fence separating you from the bustling street. Somehow, he still noticed you sitting there while riding his bike.

"Oh, umm... I was giving my friends a tour around Europe, and then I saw you sitting here... I should ask what you're up to," he explains a hint of curiosity in his voice.

You giggle, finding him endearingly cute. You and Mick are friends, or at least colleagues working for the same team. You often have chats and occasionally hang out after training, but you wouldn't say you're incredibly close.

"Yeah, well, it's a long story. In short, I'm on a little adventure for myself, taking a break from everything and just trying to relax. It's really nice to see a familiar face," you reply, feeling a sense of comfort.

"I know, right? Who would have thought?" he responds, sharing your amusement.

"Right?" you giggle in response.

"I should get going. It's great to see you again. I'll catch you at the factory then?" he suggests.

"Yeah, definitely!" you affirm with a smile.

He waves goodbye and starts pedaling away, leaving you with a mix of excitement and warmth in your heart.

✧*̥˚ Timeskip *̥˚✧

Weeks had passed, and it felt like an eternity. Finally, you arrived in Monaco, your home. You had managed to keep a low profile at the airport, although a few people still recognized you. The gossip pages had already spread the word about your return. You had considered texting Lewis, but it seemed unnecessary now that the Instagram gossip pages had made the announcement.

Now, you were in your cozy apartment, a place you called home. It felt warm and comforting, and it was all yours.

During your soul-searching journey, you had disabled all the apps that connected you to the outside world - Instagram, Twitter, emails, and more. Now, you decided to open them again, and your phone buzzed incessantly with notifications. Choosing to mute it, you placed it under your pillow.

"Some people sure missed me," you tell to yourself, looking around the house to find your laptop. It was exactly where you had left it, in the living room.

You opened your emails on the laptop instead and saw several team-related messages about an upcoming meeting. You stared at them for a while, realizing it was time to return to work and face reality.

A tinge of sadness and nervousness crept over you, but you pushed any negative thoughts aside. You didn't want to dwell on the idea that they might not want you or anything pessimistic. It was time to move forward.

A knock interrupts your thoughts, causing a small jolt of surprise.

"Why do people keep scaring me?" you mutter to yourself.

The knocking persists, growing slightly louder.

"I'm coming!" you call out.

Excitement builds within you as you jog to the door, eagerly unlocking and swinging it open without hesitation.

"Hey,"

"Hey..." you respond, your tone revealing a lack of enthusiasm.

"Well, that sounds like you weren't happy to see me," the coach remarks.

"Because I wasn't," you reply, adding a touch of sarcasm to your voice.

He was your performance coach, and truthfully, you were never thrilled to see him. His presence meant returning to rigorous training. You had been working together for a year now, and while there was still a connection, you had been avoiding it since last year due to past issues. 

However, you had undergone a transformation and were now a different person.

"Are you ready to get back out there?" the coach asks.

You gaze at him, newfound determination shining in your eyes.

"Hell yeah," you declare, a wide grin spreading across your face.

Throughout the day, you engaged in scheduling and planning, a common practice among Formula 1 drivers and their performance coaches. You both discussed training sessions, physical workouts, and practice sessions to optimize performance on and off the track. 

Despite feeling exhausted from the earlier flight, the overwhelming flood of missed notifications, and the planning for upcoming races, your determination remained steady.

As the evening grew late, the coach suggested that both of you grab a meal together. You ventured out and decided to go to "La Marée," a renowned eatery in Monaco. 

Stepping out of the car, a swarm of people immediately surrounded you. Cameras flashed, videos recorded, and requests for autographs came from all directions. It was the familiar scene you had missed—the support and admiration from the fans, which warmed your heart. With a wave of gratitude, you bid them farewell and entered the restaurant.

And there he was once more, Mick Schumacher, but this time accompanied by Toto and Susie Wolff. You greeted them warmly and approached closer.

"You've got to stop following me, man. It's becoming quite obvious," you playfully remarked to Mick.

"I could say the same to you!" Mick replied with a grin.

"Well, well, it seems like you two have been keeping tabs on each other," Toto chimed in, joining the conversation.

"Yeah, it certainly seems that way," you said, winking at Mick as he reciprocated. "So, are you guys heading out or...?" you inquired, curious about their plans.

"Yeah, we were just discussing... contracts," Mick added.

Contracts? Already? Why haven't they mentioned anything to me... you wondered, feeling a bit surprised.

Toto's hand gently squeezed your shoulder. "If you checked your emails once in a while, you would have known about yours already," he reassured you.

A sigh of relief escaped you. Thank goodness for that, you thought, realizing you had left your phone under your pillow and hadn't retrieved it before leaving with your coach.

"I had such a great vacation that it completely slipped my mind," you laughed awkwardly.

"We'll be expecting to see you at the factory, alright? We need everyone there," Toto emphasized the importance of your presence.

Then it hit you—Lewis. Where was he? You still haven't texted him.

After conversing for a while, you and your coach went to eat.

You enjoyed a pleasant dinner together before finally parting after arriving at your apartment.

Waving him goodbye, you made your way upstairs to your apartment. As you opened the door, you noticed that the living room was illuminated. Have you forgotten to turn off the lights? Perhaps your coach had left them on.

As you approached to switch off the lights, you froze. There, laying on your couch, was someone unexpected.

It was Lewis.

Lewis Hamilton had fallen asleep, patiently waiting for your return home.

[fakescenariosbeforesleepblog]

Eye in the sky pt3.

Reader (codename: eagle) × König

Mission time, tension increased,you have to escape but you will not leave no one behind, what's your final decision? Will you run or stay?.

I was listening to this song while I was trying to describe the fight, I hope it helps to imagine the scenario.

Warning: Blood, violence, grammatical and spelling errors.

📢 Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.

Pt.4 Final.

A few weeks passed since the last mission with KorTac, you and könig text each other sometimes, Soap and Gaz have been joking about you and your new friend.

- Eagle is too enchanted by that guy

- I know, it's literally like the beauty and the beast

- are you 5 years old? Grow up!

You started to punch them and play with them when Price and Ghost appeared in the common area.

- Did you already finish?

«Sorry» «yes sir» «sorry captain»

- Get ready, we have work to do. Meeting room, in 30 min.

«Yes sir»

You were the first one to arrive, you were waiting scrolling on your phone when Ghost appeared, you smiled kindly and continued on your phone.

- Soap told me what he saw in the nursery the other day.

- Huh? Oh... That, König went to say goodbye.

- Very kind for someone so wild.

You sighed and looked at him, you're annoyed, why everybody cares so much?

- you don't know him well, why do you even care?

- Listen, eagle, I... Worry about you, not only because we work together, you're... Special to me. I will just ask you this once. Stay away from him.

- I don't know what you're trying to say ghost, he's my friend.

- you don't look at a friend in the way you did all the time he was here...

- Ok, stop that, I'm not in the mood for this conversation.

The rest of the team arrived, also König and Horangi arrived too. Price noticed the absence of Roze, he looks concerned.

- and the woman? We will probably need more than 2.

- Roze is on a mission with other companions.

- alright, well... This is probably a terrorist group probably allies of our biggest enemy, what are we going to do? Ghost...

- There are hostages, we will help them and we'll look for information, any kind of information, no matter how useless it can look, we need it.

Horangi and könig were talking and observing the location on the map, Horangi stood up from his seat interrupting ghost.

- Ah sorry, indeed Captain, Ghost, we will need more people, we made area recognition a month ago, the location is isolated. The closet city is 6 hours away using vehicle... And the access is misleading, a lot of mercenaries patrolling.

- What do you propose Colonel?

Price looked at könig, who is still contemplating the map, you can see it in his eyes, he's planning every detail.

- As Horangi said, we will need more people, the place is infested by those mercenaries but we can clean it well, I understand that this is a mission under the water, am I wrong?

- yes, no one can know we're there.

- So, I propose you and your team will be behind us, as snipers, clean the path as much as possible, we will get close to the building, once there, you will join us, we will need some bombs, this building has a good structure and every entrance is well armored.

- Soap can help with that.

König nodded and continued.

- inside the building we will probably find more enemies, we think the hostages are in the attic, so Eagle and me...

- Negative.

Everybody looked at ghost, he looks angry but König apparently doesn't feel intimidated by him.

- What?

- I'll go with you, Eagle will look for information with Gaz.

- I see, well we will lose some time trying to convince them that two masked men are there to keep them safe, ja?

Your laugh echoed in the room breaking the tension, somehow König was right. Would be hard to convince the hostages.

- What is it so funny, Doc?

- Sorry Lt., but the colonel is right, maybe that's not the best idea, i suggest to go with soap or the captain, they look more friendly.

Before Ghost could protest, könig continued.

- Good, eagle and whoever you decide will go for the hostages, the rest of us, look for information And eliminate any target.

- Ah König, Roze, fender and stiletto are back from their mission. We can call them and see them at the location.

- Ja, go ahead Horangi, danke.

Price looked pleased with the plan, after more details, all the group was ready to go.

It was Early in the morning, the location was a beautiful forest, the smell of wet ground, trees and grass green, made it look like a painting. Horangi and Fender were leaders, since they knew the lands better. Ghost was behind you, you could feel his eyes, König kept his distance because he didn't want to cause you troubles, but that didn't mean he wasn't looking at you every chance he found. You were thinking about Ghost words, then about you and König, you're trying to understand what you're feeling.

Before you could finish debating, you were in the zone, everybody got ready to take positions, König approached you and as always, he was looking at you with tenderness.

- Keep us safe Maus.

- You will have eyes in the sky, don't worry Kö...

He chuckled and nodded.

- Danke...

- Have a nice hunt...

«let's go König, we're ready.» you blinked an eye at him and he left. After some time, your radios finally emitted a noise.

«Captain, we're in position.»

- Good, we're ready, you can proceed König, we already eliminated some enemies in that area.

«Gaz to stiletto, you have an enemy at your left, you can proceed, eliminate him easily there's no one around »

«Horangi, don't move yet» «Copy, Fender, you can continue» «Roze, get ready to attack, the target moves in your direction» «König, move to your right, you have an easy target»

You were too focused, observing every step könig was given, you were wondering how someone so tall as him could move so quickly and silently, you're observing every detail, his clothes, his belt, his helmet, he's... Perfect.

- We're outside, we need Soap with the explosives.

- Copy.

- well, you already heard them, let's go.

Once there the real spectacle began. There were more targets inside than outside. You were waiting for this moment, you're a doctor but that doesn't mean you don't know how to give a good fight.

You gave perfect headshots, threw some knives, kicks, it looks like you're in your zone, like a fish in the water, you love this, the adrenaline you feel during the combat. You saw an enemy approaching könig from behind, before König could notice him you brought it down, that caught König's attention, you're seriously amazing, jumping from a wall to your target, punching, shooting, too busy to notice who's observing you. you're wild, behind all the beauty and kindness there's danger, he's amazed.

Unfortunately, even if all of you are doing their best, more mercenaries have arrived at the place, More than all of you expected.

- Captain, what now?

Gaz was on the radio, everybody was hiding and trying to defend their own position, the noise of bombs, shooting, was making difficult to listen.

- We have to go.

- Sir, the hostages... ?

- Eagle, no, we have to go, don't forget we're not allowed to be here.

- All units. We have to go, let's go.

«Copy»

You were running through a hallway, looking for anything that could give information, you found a room, full of computers, maps and photographs, you locked yourself in the room and tried to send all that information to your laptop, you don't have time to read if it is useful, you will check it later. You were leaving when a guy appeared in front of you, he tackled you and started to suffocate you, you were trying to set you free when König appeared, he took the man and with a quick move broke his neck.

At this point everybody is already outside on their way to the rendezvous, it's just you and könig. You stood up and ran behind him until another guy jumped over him, he stabbed him. You gave him a headshot but the damage was already made. König was pressing his hand against his abdomen

- König...

- I'm fine, go, I'll be there in a min.

- No, I'm not going to let you here, lemme see...

- Maus, there's no time, go.

- No!

He finally let you see, unfortunately he was losing a lot of blood, you felt fear running through your veins, your hands are trembling but you tried to clean the wound and close it enough to stop the bleeding, König is doing his best to not show the pain but it's impossible, you don't want to lose him, you're losing your mind and control.

- I am ...the eye in the sky looking at you, I can read your mind...

- Wha..

- I am the maker of rules, dealing with fools...

-I can cheat you blind And...

-AH! Scheisse! (Ah, shit!)... I don't need to see anymore to know that

- I... I can read your mind...

- Good, keep going... Mein Liebling... You can do it.

Finally you finished and helped him to stand up, you put his arm on your shoulder to give him support, even with the wound he did his best to protect you.

«Eagle! Where are you? You have less than 5 min to arrive here!»

Ghost was on the radio, you gave him a quick «copy» but König is too weak, he's still losing blood, so he stopped.

- Leave.

- No, I won't.

- you will not make it on time, leave, I'll find a way to..

- No, you're too weak König! You will not survive... And I won't leave you behind.

«Eagle, König, report, where are you? We can't wait for you, more enemies are arriving»

Horangi is now asking you to hurry up, everybody starts to talk, until you hear ghost once again.

«Eagle, come here right now, it's an order, Sargent»

You look at könig, he is not afraid, you know he would understand if you stand up and leave, but no, you won't do that.

- We'll not make it on time, leave us, König is hurt.

- Eagle, it's an order...

- Sorry Sir. I promised myself I never would leave a man behind.

You cut communication and stayed with könig, you cleaned and tried to close the wound once more, you looked at könig again, you know it was maybe a bad decision, but you never broke a promise, you really won't leave him. His look changes in less than a second and...

- EAGLE! BEHIND!

Everything went dark for you after that.

[elizabeethan]

Not With Haste

An Overboard Conclusion

Oh hi, where the hell did this come from? I'm wondering the same thing. in reality, @donteattheappleshook talked to me about oarfish maybe 2 years ago and I started writing something stupid. I always intended to finish it and post it for @the-darkdragonfly's birthday, but I never found it in me to complete it. Then tonight I found that stupid thing and I finished it. You never know when that funny little creativity bug might bite, I guess.

I've always wanted to write some form of conclusion for Overboard because it's one of my favorite things that I've written. I first published Overboard way back in May of 2021, and looking back, I've grown and learned a lot and there are things I would probably do differently if I started the story over again, but I can't see myself ever editing it because I love what I wrote. Would I rewrite it into a novel and really flesh out the story and the characters? A girlie can dream, never say never, you never know when the creativity bug might bite, etc.

I hope everyone here is well, I know I am for the most part, and I'll never stop being grateful for this little community that I found all those years ago. More than that, I'll never stop being grateful for the feeling of being able to come back after a time away. It's been fun to log back in to everything and pick up where I left off as if no time has passed. (It's been so long since I've done this so if the formatting is all messed up, I'm really sorry, but I barely knew what I was doing.)

Long story short, this story is finally complete. It's barely edited and it's not beta'd, so thank you for giving it a chance.

Rated T I think

~2300 words

Read on Ao3

Read my Other Stuff

~~~~

Even after sixteen years of marriage, Killian often finds himself wondering what on earth could possibly be going through his wife’s head. 

  The thoughts of wonderment and confusion strike him at the oddest of times, always in response to something she’s said or done and never with any sort of answer. The first time he knew he was in trouble was fifteen years ago, when he returned home from a trip to find she had adopted a rottweiler. Still, Ripple refuses to retire from her post as the Jones’ Harbor Tours’ mascot, and Emma often tries to convince him that it’s because she’s as stubborn as her father. 

  In truth, Emma Jones is the most stubborn person he has ever met in his life, a fact which will likely never be contested. 

  He finds himself confused so often that he can barely recount any examples of her free spirited nature. (She calls herself a wild child, although she often shouts at him whenever he uses the term in bed.) There was the time she impulsively began tearing up the tile flooring in the bathroom after watching three whole YouTube tutorials (her words), only to sob into his already sea-soaked sweater when she realized how physically taxing reflooring an entire room is without any experience, general tiling knowledge, materials, or help. Then there was the time she randomly asked him if he would still love her if she was a worm, and then became irrationally angry when he found himself unable to answer without first asking clarifying questions. And the incident when she questioned his loyalty to her when he refused to hunt down and kill the person who bumped into her parked car and drove off. He later discovered that the question came after she had finished some romance novel about the mafia. He chose not to dig any deeper into that one.

  All this to say: Killian’s wife is a free spirit, a wild child, a confusing, strange, barely-readable woman who stole his heart in one breath and has yet to give it back almost two decades later. 

  And, he has no idea what the bloody hell she’s talking about more than half the time. 

  He wouldn’t have it any other way.

  Emma (Trophy Wife): have you ever see this??? In the wild??????

  Emma (Trophy Wife): Attached: 1 Image

  Killian: What are you doing?

  He shakes his head, as exasperated as he is filled with a warm sense of comfort, just like he always is whenever he sees the name she gave herself the moment their vows were exchanged pop onto his phone screen.

  Emma (Trophy Wife): they inhabit the atlantic ocean. *vomiting emoji*

  Killian: Stop watching National Geographic if it’s going to make you nauseous. 

  Emma (Trophy Wife): that’s where you worked!!

  Killian: That’s also where we live.

  Emma (Trophy Wife): you never saw one in your sexy fisherman days? LOOK at that thing. 

  Killian quickly discovers that she’s referring to an Oarfish. They’re the longest known bonefish and inhabit very deep water, are rarely seen or caught alive, and are thought to be generally harmless. Still, he knows that these facts will not prevent his wife from overreacting, so he chooses not to bother. 

  Though she’s always hidden it well, Emma has a strange fear of creatures of the deep, as she often calls them. She’s told him that the tuna he used to pull onto the deck of his boat didn’t bother her– even though they were often almost twice her height in length and weighed upwards of 1,000 pounds– because they were no longer in the water. But the thought of running into one of those slimy bastards while swimming gives her panicky symptoms— her words. He hasn’t bothered to point out the absolute impossibility of her ever running into a giant bluefin tuna while swimming, either. After sixteen years of marriage, he’s learned which battles are better left unfought. 

  Of course, there are times when his correcting her drives her absolutely mad, often to the point of her feeling compelled to kiss him in order to shut him up, and he navigates those moments very carefully and with a smirk on his lips. 

  Killian: They aren’t known to be predatory.

  Emma (Trophy Wife) disliked “They aren’t known to be predatory.”

  Killian: Attached: 1 Image

  Killian: You see? They have small mouths and no teeth. Harmless.

  It’s unlike her to wait so long to reply, as she’s often glued to her phone at least when she’s mid conversation. But it’s almost a full two minutes that he finds himself standing in front of the display of pasta sauce, looking like a complete fool and blocking the path of an elderly woman, breath bated as he waits for a response from her. Bloody hell, he thinks to himself as he shakes his head. He’s known the woman for eighteen years and he still can hardly breathe in anticipation of whatever adorably inane thought leaves her mouth without any sort of filter. 

  Emma (Trophy Wife): Attached: 1 Video

  Lovely. Even as he watches the attached video of her silently dry heaving, he’s desperately in love with her. He watches it again. 

  Her blonde hair has gone lighter over the years, streaks of white coloring through the gold in a way that makes her look somehow even more sexy and playful than when he first laid eyes on her. There are soft creases beside her eyes as she squeezes them shut, her mouth open and her tongue out as she pretends to be so violently offended by the image he sent her that it’s made her ill. 

  Emma (Trophy Wife): expect consequences when you get home. even if you get the good mac and cheese. 

  Emma (Trophy Wife): you KNOW how i feel about serpents and sea monsters. 

  Killian: I do. 

  Emma (Trophy Wife): … and????

  Killian: I’m sorry for traumatizing you with my serpent. 

  Killian: And for how that just sounded. 

  Emma (Trophy Wife): if you’re not home in 34 minutes i’m not touching your serpent for two whole days. 

  Killian: Well, now that I'm familiar with your gag reflex… 

  Emma (Trophy Wife): 33 minutes. 

  ~~~~

  Ripple is the oldest dog Killian has ever known. Her silver snout and eyebrows catch in the setting sun, and it’s painfully obvious from her gait how sore her joints are, but still, at his arrival home, she hurries her way towards him with as much enthusiasm as she can muster. 

  Their vet has told them that she’s the healthiest dog he’s treated in a while, considering her age, and Emma uses that as a point of pride for their perfect child. 

  “Hi, darling,” he says when she finally reaches him, her soft smile lighting up her face once he drops the reusable grocery bags in order to give her a scratch behind the ears. Killian’s getting up there in age, too, but he still manages to squat down to her level and kiss her nose. 

  The two of them make quite the pair while Killian struggles back into a standing position and then they both hobble towards the front door. His fishing career was lucrative and rewarding, but dammit if it didn’t lead to stiff joints that his wife pokes fun at. She’s never met a “my husband is older than me” joke she hasn’t loved. 

  “I’m glad you both made it,” she happily chortles from the kitchen, making him smile. He’s never smiled more widely than he does with Emma. 

  “The abuse I’m subjected to,” he mutters as he drops the bags on the floor for her to peruse. It’s a deal they made years ago; Killian does the shopping because the grocery store makes Emma too itchy, and she puts the groceries away in exchange. 

  She snorts when she pulls out the bag of goldfish, sending Killian a playful smirk. “Looks like a good haul.”

  “Aye, love. I thought you might enjoy a fishy treat after our conversation.”

  “Always so thoughtful,” she murmurs as she makes her way to him. The kitchen is small, but they’ve always had just enough space for the three of them. 

  “It’s a difficult cross to bear,” he nods, catching her wrist as soon as she’s close enough to pull towards him. “But anticipating your needs is one of the many responsibilities I take very seriously.”

  Emma’s hands land on his neck, fingers tangling with the silver hair at the back of his head while her thumbs trace along his jaw. She likes to call him a silver fox when she’s feeling playful. “My perfect husband,” she says softly, voice syrupy sweet in that way that still manages to get him excited. 

  “I couldn’t be a perfect husband without my perfect wife,” he answers, earning a beaming grin that he barely catches before her lips press to his. 

  It never ends. The way he wants her has been an inferno so intense since the day they met, and it hasn’t been snuffed out in all these years. The moment she’s near him, his blood starts to simmer, and once she touches him, kisses him like she is now, he’s a goner. 

  Her tongue is soft as it sweeps over the seam of his lips, lazily working to deepen the kiss they share. She kissed him with urgency, but not with haste, never rushing but always desperate. It’s enough to have him pushing her backwards, her lower back softly pressing against the counter before he lifts her onto it. Emma’s legs part seemingly without her even thinking about it, and before either of them have a chance to put the rotisserie chicken in the refrigerator, he wonders if he should just carry her to their room. Part of him has this never ending need to show her just how desperate he still is for her. 

  But then, she speaks. 

  “Wait,” she breathes, chest rising and falling rapidly as her warm breath fans over his mouth, her forehead still pressed to his and her fingers clinging to the collar of the light sweater he wears. 

  “Yes, love?” he asks, perfectly prepared to answer whatever silly question she likely has as long as he can have her after. 

  “About the oarfish…”

  He fights a groan. “I promise you, there is absolutely no chance of you ever seeing an oarfish for as long as you live.”

  “I know, I did plenty of research while you were gone.”

  He breathes out a soft laugh, his smile growing when she kisses it. “What’s wrong, then?”

  “Would you still love me if I was an oarfish?”

  His world stops for just a moment. Just a second, really, as he tries to right his mind and will a tiny bit of blood back to his brain so that he can answer this very unimportant and yet somehow very vital question correctly. 

  “If you were an oarfish,” he starts, hand sliding up from her hip to her ribs before finding her cheek, “then I would be an oarfish. And we would be married and have a pet… eel, perhaps. Named Ripple. And we would live in a tiny oarfish cottage and be happy and in love for as long as oarfish live.”

  Emma sighs, the softest smile on her perfect lips making him crazy as her arms wrap around his neck in one of his favorite hugs. 

  “I love you,” she whispers into his ear. He’ll never tire of this. Of the soft, almost unfathomable way that the love they have for one another strikes at the most random times. 

  “I love you, too, Swan. Always. No matter what species we are.”  

  “And I love you, no matter how much older you are than me.”

  He grabs her then, hoisting her against him to the best of his ability as her ankles cross at his back. “Disrespectful,” he murmurs, carrying her from the kitchen and happily forgetting about the frozen broccoli florets, not cuts she made him buy. 

  “You better teach me a lesson, then,” she taunts with a smirk, as if that isn’t exactly what she was after. 

  “Don’t act like that isn’t exactly what you want, love.”

  “Don’t act like you don’t get off on giving me exactly what I want.”

  To that, he just returns her smirk and offers a quick smack to her ass before dropping her onto the bed they share, because he knows she’s right. For the rest of his days, he’ll be happy, as long as he has his family. 

~~~~

I'm using my old tag list from 2 years ago. If you don't want to be tagged, I'm real sorry and let me know if I should remove you

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[satureja13]

Francine is about to leave and asked Jeb to accompany her to the gates. Jeb loves his grandmother but he loves it more when she's not around. More often than not Jeb ends up in embarrassing situations when she's involved... He's still shocked about the 'handle happening' and he still doesn't know what Sai intended. And Francine wouldn't be Francine if she didn't instruct Jeb to make it up with Sai. Jeb: "What if he needs more time?"

Francine: "Why do you give such incidents so much power over your relationship? I understand Sai needed time to overcome all this stuff with Kiyoshi. But it's over a half year ago, Jeb. And it won't get any better with you two just brooding, each on his own. Talk to him. He needs you. You know how much he struggles to be your leader and to be responsible for everything. Don't burden him additionally to also lead your relationship, hm? Make the first step and be there for him. Back him (at this point she winked twice at Jeb... oh my...)." Francine is due to leave but she quickly dragged Jeb over to 'Ye Olde Magick Shoppe' to make some last purchases of stuff that's only provided beyond the Veil. Vendor: "Oh, hey Francine! Long time no see! Hope you are still satisfied with our monthly 'Spicy Surprise Sac'?" Francine: "Of course I am! It's stunning what you always come up with! Each month new surprises to spice up our lives. Say, do you maybe also have a monthly box for beginners? Our Jeb here needs some support." Vendor: "Ah! Is he finally getting back together with his Vanië? Yes, we offer sweet monthly boxes especially for our unexperienced." Jeb just wants to vanish into the ground and never crawl up again. There are no secrets in this world... How do they even know he's calling Sai 'Vanië'? Francine: "Wonderful! Let's subscribe for this. You can always upgrade to the sophisticated boxes once you prosper, Jeb." How embarrassing! Jeb knows he can't stop Francine from ordering the box for him. Nothing can stop Francine. So he needs to make sure to let them quickly vanish before Sai and the others see them... ö.ö'

After they left the shop, Francine had a quick chat with the owls from the post office. To make sure the boxes also reach Jeb in the Otherworld... Big Owl: "Don't worry! We're as eager as you for him to make it up with Sai!" Small Owl: "I'll make sure to deliver as soon as the shop is ready with packing!"

By looking at the mess around the counter, Jeb just hopes a few boxes will get lost...

And then finally, finally it's time for Francine to leave! Francine: "Talk to Sai. Do not waver. I love you. Bye!"

A few hours later, after they'd spent another few hours in the potions classroom in the dungeons of the tower to share their research, Sai sat in the common room, absorbed in one of his gay romance novels again. He didn't even notice the others already left to go to bed. Sai is the oldest and their leader and - still a virgin. His fantasy is going wild. How would it be to make love with Jeb? To feel him? To share it all? To do all the things with him they do in the books? Over the last two years, when they were still together, they had a few make out sessions (e.g. at Tartosa (twice), in Tomarang, in Rider's Glen (twice)...) but they never went all the way.

It's late, eventually Sai finished the final chapter and went upstairs. To find Ji Ho sleeping alone in their room... Where is Jack again? -.- Skully: "Where do you think he is? Upstairs, of course!"

Yes, Jack is in the tops' room again. Because he refuses to let Sai dictate where and with whom he can linger and where not. Jack: "Oh, look there is a box from the 'Ye Olde Magic Shoppe'!" Kiyoshi: "Maybe for our next lessons?" As the small owl promised, they delivered so fast, there isn't even a label on the box with the recipient on it... And Jeb didn't pay attention. He's pondering for hours already about how to accomplish to start a conversation with Sai about their relationship - and it stresses him out beyond measure... He's so afraid to do something wrong again. And then Sai would get upset and he wouldn't speak to him for weeks - or months - again...

Jack curiously opened the box: "What kind of stuff is this?" He'd never seen such things before. (Well, except for the wand and polish set Kiyoshi gave to Saiwa months ago...)

Kiyoshi learned a lot of things at the Temple, so he explained all of the items to Jack. And how to use them. Jack listened curiously: "Ah it's almost a shame I'm never supposed to try them..." He gave up on love.

And then - of course - Sai charged in. He saw the items from the box before Jack was able to put them back in ö.ö Sai: "Are you seducing them? Again? I'm going to kill you! RUN!" This time, Jack didn't run. It's time to stop Saiwa on his downward path: "We did nothing wrong, Sai. Why do you even care what we are doing here? If you don't want to see it, just knock before you enter."

Sai left the room and slammed the door so hard the walls shook. Poor Jeb. How is he supposed to talk to Sai about getting together again when he has the craziest ideas of what they are doing here with Jack? ö.Ö'

'Now if you feel that you can't go on (can't go on) Because all of your hope is gone (all your hope is gone) And your life is filled with much confusion (much confusion) Until happiness is just an illusion (happiness is just an illusion) And your world around is crumbling down, darlin'

Come on girl reach on out for me (Reach out) Reach out for me

Hah, I'll be there with a love that will shelter you I'll be there with a love that will see you through'

The Four Tops - Reach out I'll be there (from 1967!) And, as a bonus: Indestructable (from 1988) - 21 years later! Such a heartwarming MV. Levi Stubbs had such a powerful voice. Amazing.

From the Beginning 🔱 Underwater Love 🔱 Latest

Current Chapter: 'Here comes the Sun' from the beginning ▶️ here Last Chapter: 'Who killed Jack?' from the beginning ▶️ here

📚 Previous Chapters: Chapters: 1-6 ~ 7-12 ~ 13-16 ~ 23-28

[elisysd]

Green Light - Lorde

Masterlist - Previously - Next Chapter

But honey I'll be seein' you down every road I'm waiting for it, that green light, I want it

The three Grand Prix that followed for Charles were rather uneven in terms of results. A P4 in China, a P5 in Miami but a fine victory at Emilia-Romagna which gave him confidence for Monaco. He was looking forward to racing in his hometown, on the streets he knew by heart, and especially in front of Lyanna. It really was a special Grand Prix for him, but this year even more so.

As for Lyanna, she had just finished filming Ferrari just in time to start promoting Flowers and Crown. The movie was due to have its premiere on Friday evening, the week of the Grand Prix, and she was also expected in Cannes the day before for the festival with the entire Ferrari film team, who were among the guests of honour. Charles would be joining her, and she knew that Kika and Pierre would be there too. The opportunity for a double date for the couple of friends before the wild weekend in Monaco got underway.

Lyanna was dreading the moment she would meet David again. She hoped he wouldn't make things more complicated than they had to be. She wanted to get the promotion of the film over with as quickly as possible, especially as she suspected she was going to be asked questions which would have more to do with a certain Ferrari driver than with the film. But she couldn't really blame the journalists, as most of the promotional activities were taking place in the middle of the Monaco Grand Prix.

Charles had returned from Italy the day before, but Lyanna had the impression that they had barely crossed paths. He was very busy with press duties and she was going back and forth between Nice and Monaco to sort out the final details before starting the events to which the film crew had been invited and the interviews. Her mind was everywhere and nowhere at the same time, and she barely had time to sleep or rest. So when she arrived at the hotel in the heart of Monte Carlo, where she was going to spend the day answering the same questions and pretending to have a complicity with David that didn't exist, she was delighted to see the team of make-up artists who were going to take care of her. Once she was ready, she went to the lounge where the PR officer, David and a young blonde woman whom Lyanna didn't know were present.

“Lyanna, thank God you’re here. I was just briefing David about what you can expect from today.”

She began to explain everything to Lyanna, who pretended to listen to her as she nibbled on a croissant. She watched with curious interest as David and the pretty blonde talked and laughed together. They looked close. David's attitude was also more relaxed than she remembered. He didn't seem like the complete asshole she'd met almost a year ago.

“And I think that’s all I had to say for today, did you understand everything Lyanna?”

“Yeah, sure. All is good.” She absent-mindedly said.

Soon David, the girl and her were the only person left. Feeling her gaze on him, David turned and approached her.

“Lyanna, hey… long time no see.” He greeted her.

“Yeah…”

“Well… Here’s Hanna. My girlfriend.” He presented the so-called Hanna who waved shyly to Lyanna who gave a little smile.

“Girlfriend? Well, that was definitely something that I was not expected.” She repeated surprised.

“Me neither, to be honest. But you know what they say, we find love in the most unexpected places.”

He took his girlfriend's hand and gave her a long, loving look.

“Where did you guys meet?”

“An art gallery in New-York. I was looking for something for my apartment and she was working there. We bonded over Banksy and Van Gogh and the rest is history.”

“I didn’t know that you liked art?”

“Actually, I studied art history in uni. Before acting. How could you have known? We’ve never really talked.”

“Yeah, that’s because you were an ass to me and everyone.”

“About that… I want to apologise. I got time to self-reflect and most specifically since I’ve met Hanna and I know I’ve been awful to you. And for that I want to apologize.”

Lyanna nodded. Hearing him saying sorry was the last thing she expected while coming today. But it felt nice. Maybe promo wouldn’t be that bad.

“I appreciate, thanks. It doesn’t erase everything that you did and say but it feels nice.”

David nodded to her before the PR rep came to fetch them for the interviews. As Lyanna suspected, some of the questions directed at her had more to do with her personal life and Charles than with the film. She tried to answer them courteously at first, but when the fifth journalist asked her another question about Charles and herself, she couldn't contain her annoyance.  To her surprise, it was David who came to her rescue, skilfully diverting the subject. Then, the whole thing went on very quickly, and she barely had time to eat a few biscuits before going on to a photo shoot that didn't end until very late in the evening.

It was therefore completely exhausted that she returned to Charles' flat at ten o'clock in the evening, wanting to take a long shower and curl up in Charles' arms. Thinking about tomorrow was already giving her a huge headache, as she had to go to Cannes to get ready to walk on the red carpet. This time she was going without Charles, only with the Ferrari film crew, and with Charles, Pierre and Kika the day after. Glancing at her calendar, she wondered when she would even have a minute to herself.

When she entered the room, Charles was fast asleep. Without a sound or sudden movement, she crawled into bed. Charles feeling the mattress sag, moved slightly and unconsciously put his arm around Lyanna's waist to draw her to him. The young woman offered no resistance and soon fell asleep.

She had hardly had a good night's rest when it was time to wake up. Charles was still asleep but it was time for her to get moving. She made herself a quick cup of coffee before meeting her driver, who was due to take her to Cannes. The rest of the morning was a blur and soon Lyanna found herself flanked by Adam Driver, Penelope Cruz and Patrick Dempsey on the red carpet. The quartet spent the rest of the day in interviews before being invited to a party organised by one of the event's sponsors. Lyanna was handed a glass of champagne, which she drank while chatting to a group of people whose names she couldn't remember. Bored to death, she began to drink one glass, then two, then three. Having eaten nothing all day except some hors d'oeuvres, the alcohol quickly went to her head, so much so that one of the hostesses at the event, seeing that the young woman was beginning to feel unwell, forced her to return to the hotel after calling her a taxi.

Alone in her room, Lyanna collapsed on her bed without taking the time to remove her dress and shoes. She felt as if her head was going to explode and she was going to be sick. Mechanically, she picked up the phone and dialled Charles' number. It was nearly two o'clock in the morning and she didn't expect him to pick up, but after a few rings he did.

“Lyanna? It’s two in the morning, are you okay?”

“Charles…I just wanted to tell you I love you, very very much. Very a lot.”

“Very a lot doesn’t exist, love” he said with a smile in his voice.

“Now it does, because I said so.”

“Lya, are you drunk?”

“No. Yes. Maybe a little bit.” She confessed as she was giggling. “You’re cute, did I ever tell you that? And your hair is fluffy.”

“My hair is fluffy. Interesting, I’m going to say that to my mom, she will be happy.”

“I love you. I miss you.”

“So you’re a cute and clingy drunk. Good to know.”

“Do I bother you?”

“Never.” But still she could hear him repress a yawn. “Sleep, love. And drink water, okay. You’ll thank me tomorrow.”

“You come tomorrow, right?”

“I would not miss that for anything in the world. I love you, Lya. Very a lot.”

And Charles kept his promise. He met Lyanna again the next day for the red carpet and as they posed for the photographers, he realised for the first time in his life what it felt like to be someone's boyfriend. The cameras were flashing at Lyanna, she was the one being approached, the one they wanted to talk to. Charles wasn't important. It did him good, for once, to be in the background, but he also understood how Lyanna could feel when she joined him on the tracks.

They both met Pierre and Kika inside the building and decided to just stay together and watch the festivities from afar. Kika had to meet some brand executives while Pierre was enjoying the free food and drinks. Lyanna got to talk with a few people from the entertainment industries as Charles was watching her, in awe. Something Pierre noticed and had fun commenting on.

“I think there is some drool down the corner of your mouth.”

“Shut up.”

“You’re so in love it’s sickening.”

“You are no better.”

“At least I don’t look like a lost puppy whenever Kika is not around me.”

“I’m not… you know what? I’m not even going to comment on that.”

“That’s because you know that I’m right.” Pierre laughed.

“Laugh all you want, you’ll be less of a smart-ass when I’ll overtake you this weekend.”

“You know that you can’t overtake in Monaco.”

“I have an extra good feeling about this weekend. And Lya will be there, so nothing wrong can happen.”

“I’m praying for you, my friend.”

The group of friends didn’t stay too long at the event. The boys had to leave early in the morning to go back to Monaco where they both had press duties to get to. As for Lyanna she had to meet once again the Flowers and Crown crew for some events and interviews. She couldn’t wait for the weekend to be over to finally have some peace and quiet. To have a proper meal and a proper sleep, as well.

Finally, after what felt like an ever-lasting long week, Friday arrived and with it the free practice as well as Arthur qualification session that she and Charles were going to attend, along with Carla and Pascale. When she woke up, she was alone, Charles already gone. She wasn’t feeling well, she felt week and felt like each one of her movements was going to make her throw up. And she had not even eaten yet.

Pascale and Carla arrived a short while later with croissants and other pastries fresh from the bakery, as Lyanna was almost done making herself look presentable. As soon as she opened the door, the smell hit her and as her stomach had already decided to bother her since she had woken up, it didn’t take much for her to rush back to the bathroom and throw up. Pascale rushed to her side, holding her hair back to help her. When she finally stopped Pascale gave her a glass of water and looked at her worryingly.

“You’re pale Lyanna, you should rest, today. It’s just free practices Charles will understand if you don’t come.”

“But I want to go. It’s not only for Charles i want to be there for Arthur as well. Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. I think it’s just the stress of these last few days. The fresh air will do me good.”

“If you’re sure… but the first signal of you not feeling well, I’m sending you back home.”

But Pascale didn’t need to carry out her threats. By the time Lyanna was stepping inside the paddock, she was feeling much better. She didn’t feel the need to tell Charles about the morning as it was not such a big deal despite Pascale recommendations.

After the Free Practice, it was time to support Arthur. Charles brought Lyanna to the F2 paddock and they both find a quiet spot where they could enjoy the race without being bothered. Lyanna did her best to cheer on Arthur and it warmed Charles’ heart who took the opportunity to snap some pictures of her. He needed a new lock-screen. Arthur ended up P3 in qualifying, his best result up to date and Charles was so proud of him. Giving him a big hug as soon as he stepped out of the car. Arthur was still disappointed but Charles tries to did his best trying to find positive things to say to his brother. Lyanna could not help but to find that a little funny, knowing Charles.

“He is as hard on himself as you are.” she told him on their way back to the F1 paddock.

“I know, it runs in the family… I just want him to know how proud I am of him. I know how hard it is for him and how illegitimate he feels sometimes. It makes me feel bad because I know that it’s my fault.”

“You are a good brother Charles, he doesn’t resent you. He admires you and he wants to be like you. You are his hero. It won’t change.”

If Lyanna thought that her day would end after the FP2 and that she finally would be able to go to bed early, it was in reality far from the truth. Andrea and some friends of Charles were going to come to the flat for dinner. It was a little tradition that Charles had and that he wanted to share with his girlfriend.That’s how she found herself in the kitchen, at 8 pm watching Charles’ attempt to cook pasta under the astonished eye of Andrea.

“Stop judging me guys! You’ll see that they are going to turn out just fine. I’m telling you, it’ll be the best pasta you’ve ever had.”

Joris, who was near, didn’t try to hide the fact that he was recording the whole situation.

“I’m going to keep that preciously somewhere. It could come out handy someday.”

“I’m 3 seconds away to order an uber eats, I know that’s going to be a catastrophe.” added Lyanna.

“I just hope no one will be sick. I need him at the top for tomorrow…” worried Andrea as boiling water was coming out out of the saucepan.

“Guys! Have faith in me!”

Lyanna never ate such horrible pasta in her life. And from the look on everyone’s faces, she was not the only one.

“I didn’t know that it was possible to screw up pasta, yet you prove me wrong.” she told him as everyone was laughing, Charles included.

“Come on, it’s not that bad. It’s crocante! And I’m still going to eat them because in this house we don’t waste food!”

The day of qualifying, Lyanna woke up earlier than Charles with the need to throw up again. She still wasn’t feeling well. She was not feeling rested and her head was spinning a little. this ended up waking up Charles earlier than he expected.

“Lya? Love? Are you okay?”

“Peachy. I’m never eating your crocante pasta ever again. Look what you’ve done to me…”

“I’m so sorry, love… Do you want me to get you something?”

“I’ll be fine, please for the love of god don’t go near the kitchen… ever again.”

If the Friday was relatively calm for Charles and Lyanna, Saturday started to feel a bit overwhelming for her. As soon as they stepped out in the street to go to the tracks, people were there to congratulate him, encouraging him and wanting pictures or autographs from him. Charles was trying his best to accomodate everyone while making sure that Lyanna was okay.

Charles ended P2 in qualifying and everyone was so happy for him. Only Max had managed to snatch the pole from him by driving brilliantly. Charles had nothing to regret, he really had driven his best. But he couldn’t help but feeling as he failed. He wanted to win in Monaco so bad. He wanted to win for him, his family, his friends, his dad, Lyanna and for everyone that supported him. But his disappointment disappeared as soon as he saw Lyanna bright smile when he entered the Ferrari hospitality.

“P2, champ! I’m so proud of you!” she said as she stood up to hug him.

“Yeah, but it’s not pole position and you know how important it is to get it here.”

“Hey, both you and I know that the chances of safety car in Monaco are higher than anywhere else. With a good strategic call and no mistakes during the pit stops, you can definitely win. Everything can happen here.”

“Since when are you this knowledgeable on the topic?” asked Charles, surprised.

“I have a very good teacher who happens to race on the weekend. He taught me a lot. And he is also my boyfriend so that helps.”

“He seems like a good boyfriend. You’re lucky.”

“The best.” she said as she stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss.

Sunday morning began to feel like every single day since Friday, with the throwing up, the feeling of not being fully rested and her head spinning. Fortunately, Charles had already left so she didn’t have to explain anything to him and he would not feel worried. It was the last thing he needed today. But Lyanna felt so much worse than the day before. She could feel her legs trembling and she could barely stand up. She tried to go back to sleep before Pascale and Carla arrivals but failed when she could feel her stomach not cooperating with her. She ended up giving up and decided to prepare herself some tea in the hope of making the nausea go away. She also tried to nibble on some slice of bread but thought it was tasteless. He head was pounding and she was hoping the ibuprofen she had taken would have a miracle effect.

She tried to hide her exhaustion behind a nice and glowy make up but it was not enough to fool Pascale when she finally arrived to take her to go watch Arthur’s race.

“You look like a ghost, Lyanna. Are you really sure you want to come, it’s just Arthur’s race, I would prefer if you were resting and be fine for Charles.”

“I won’t be able to rest, I know that. I prefer to go and try to forget how awful I feel.”

“Suit yourself, Lya, but you are worrying me.”

Lyanna spent most of the race sat in a corner with a bottle of water to keep her hydrated, on Pascale’s advice. Arthur finished the race P6 after a bad call from the team but he was nonetheless very happy with his result. It was the first time he finished his home Grand Prix and he was proud. And everyone was proud of him. Lyanna started to feel a little better by lunchtime, where she met Charles. They found a quiet spot in the hospitality away from everyone. Lyanna could tell Charles was anxious as his right leg couldn’t stop to bounce. It started to stress her out and she decided to place her hand on it and to squeeze it lightly.

“Sorry, it’s just a mix between anxiety and excitement.” he said to her as he was taking a bite of his avocado toast.

“It’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. And no matter what I’m proud of you. Even if it doesn’t turn out the way you hope it will, I’ll be there. Always.”

It was all the reassurance Charles needed to know that it would be okay.

Soon it was time for them to go back to the garage and for him to step into the car. Lyanna went to the back where Arthur was as well as Pascale. Right before being called by his mechanics and engineer, Charles toddled around his family to give them a hug and a forehead kiss for his mom. Then, he took Lyanna’s waist to pull her against him. She put both hands on his chest, playing with the scratch pads of his racing suit.

“Well… be fast. Come back to me. I love you”

“Always. I love you too. Take care of that for me, okay?” he asked, giving her the little red bracelet that Lyanna put immediately around her wrist.

A few moments later, the race began with Charles trying to pressurise Max, unsuccessfully. The Red Bull was fast and it was a matter of time before max took the lead comfortably, leaving Charles defending against George. Lyanna had to admit it, the race was boring, as everyone had told her it would be. But still she was still watching the screen intently, leaving a gasp when Lance lost the control of his car and ended up in the wall. His mistake led the deployment of the safety car and everyone was holding their breath waiting for Ferrari strategy. The call made was a double pit stop with the priority for Charles. A few seconds later, Lyanna could see from the corner of her eyes the number 16 red car stopping and making a great 2.2 seconds stop, which was great. Lyanna breathed a little bit better as Charles was back on the track, trying to catch up to Max. He was just three seconds away, but there was only ten laps to go and the gap between them remained the same. But at least Carlos who managed to get rid of George thanks to a missed pit stop from Mercedes. But at least, the podium seemed secure for Charles and Lyanna could start to feel tears form behind her eyelids. She looked at Pascale and Arthur that were in the same sate of happiness as her and even if everyone remained focus in the garage, you could feel the atmosphere had changed.

There were only five laps to go when Lyanna stood up and she could immediately feel that something was wrong with her. Her legs felt weak and she felt dizzy. She felt like the world was spinning around her and tried to hold on to something but failed as the world faded to black around her.

Charles did it. He finally made it. After all the DNF, engine failures, strategy fucks up, he finally was on the podium of his home Grand prix. Not on the first step as he would have loved to but on the second one. He would not lie, there were a few tears that were threatening to fall when he walked on the podium. His gaze scanned the crowed looking for his mom, his brothers and Lya. If he had no problems finding his family, it’s Lya who was nowhere to be seen. He was disappointed, his first podium here in Monaco and she was not there. He did not worried much than needed, he knew she was pretty busy with interviews and media duties, something he knew all to well. Bu still, somehow it hurt him.

So as soon as he got rid of his obligations, the first thing he did was looking for his family who was waiting for him at the Ferrari hospitality. When he saw them and most importantly when he saw the dark look on their faces,he immediately knew something was wrong. And he was sure of it when the hug his mom gave him was feeling more like an i’m sorry than a congratulations.

“Where is Lya?” he asked immediately

“Charles… she is at the hospital. She fainted.” announced his mom.

And just like the high he was on was over and he felt his heart shattered in million tiny pieces.He did not care about anything else than rushing to the hospital to be at Lya’s side. Nothing mattered more than that. Not the journalists, not the team, not the after party and definitely not the Prince Albert of Monaco whose name was appearing on his phone as he was sprinting towards the paddock entrance, Arthur following closely behind.

“She is at Princesse Grace hospital. The medics thought it was better for her to be there rather than staying with the medical staff here.” told him Arthur as they were getting on the bikes.

“Fucking trafic… when did it happen? What happened exactly?”

“She was already not feeling well this morning when mom came to your flat to get her. But Lya insisted to come, she did not want to miss your race. Mom tried to resonate her but she is pretty stubborn. And then she turned pale all at once and she fainted a few laps before the final one.”

“She seemed fine when we ate lunch together.”

“Actually, mom said she has been sick for a few days. She threw up a lot and she is really tired.”

“A few days? I knew about Saturday but I thought I food poisoned her with the pasta. Why did no one tell me anything?”

“You’ve barely been there. And I’m not saying that to blame you. I know you were busy.”

“Still, I’m busy but I could have still taken time off for family emergency.”

Charles felt like he had never ridden a back as fast in his life. Soon they were at the hospital and he rushed to the reception, Arthur following close behind on the phone with Pascale that would call Lya’s mom.

“Lyanna Michel. Where is she? She was brought here as an emergency.”

“Who are you? Only family is allowed.”

“I’m her boyfriend.”

“Room 164, third floor. The elevator is this way.”

Charles thanked and wave at Arthur to follow him. When they finally got there, the doctor was coming out of the room. Charles rushed to his side and asked him how was Lyanna.

“She is resting at the moment. He blood test showed us that she had anaemia, which explained why she felt so tired, the headaches and the feeling of dizziness. And also why she was throwing up. It’s a never ending cycle. She was too tired to eat, her stomach began to get accustomed to the lack of nutriments and then rejects everything when she tried to eat normally. We are still going to do a bone marrow biopsy to be sure there is no sign of leukaemia. We are going to keep her for a few days.”

Biopsy. Leukemia. Those were words Charles did not like at all. He felt guilty. If he was the good boyfriend he thought he were he should have seen the signs. he should have seen she was sick. But he was too caught up in his own bubble to noticed it.

“Can I see her?” he asked

“Sure. But not more than one person at once. She really needs to rest.”

Charles entered the room and saw immediately Lyanna’s frame linked to different machines that were monitoring her as well as an iron infusion. He took he seat next to her and take her cold hand in his carefully. She shifted a little, turning her head toward him.

“Hey, champ…”

“Lya…” he sighed, defeated.

“No. Don’t be like that. I’m okay, Charles. Well not right now because I feel like shit, but I’ll be. I’m just sorry to not have been there to see you on the podium.”

“I don’t care about the podium, Lya. I only care about you.”

“I’ve ruined your home race…”

“You didn’t ruin anything. Don’t worry about that, okay.”

“But you must have so many places to be at, so many people to talk to…”

“I’m right where I need to be.”

She closed her eyes for a short moment before opening them again. She could see how uncomfortable Charles was and she knew that this hospital was bringing back some bad memories. She squeezed lightly his hand and trace smal pattern in the palm of his hand to get his minds off of the dark corners it went to.

“I’ve talked to the doctor… He talked about leukaemia and biopsy Lyanna.”

“Normal tests to run, Charles. I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, barely had time to myself, to eat and drink and rest properly. Something like that was bound to happen.”

“Still I hate that…”

“I’ll be fine. I promise you.”

“Yes. And as soon as you leave this place, I’m not leaving your side. You’re coming with me for the European races. This way I can watch you and take care of you properly. It’s you and me against the world, Lya.” he whispered to her as he was pressing his lips on her forehead.

========

author's note: It's the Monaco Grand Prix baby!!The longest chapter of the book but the very first one I planned. I as so anxious to write it because I wanted it to be perfect. I hope you enjoyed it! As usual, let me know your thoughts through the comments or ask box if your too shy. And don't forget to leave a like or reblog the story. It helps. And it lets me know that you like the story. taglist: @zendayabelova @purplephantomwolf @ru-kru @dakotali @blueflorals @aundercover @ruleroftheuniverse @fangirlika @writerscurse @elijahmikaelsonbitch @leclerc13 @karmabyfernando @stargaryenx @pitlanebabe @boiohboii @reengard If you are tagged but did not receive any notifications, please check your settings because it means that Tumblr didn't let me tag you.

[systorytimes]

Heya this blog idea is really cool! I'm looking forward to what other people send in here :) (I hope what I'm about to send in is what this blog is for, otherwise feel free to delete (/_\) ) System Storytime, this one is a bit of a silly one but I want to share it. One of our littles is extremely good at video games, like it's actually wild to me how good they are. Most of the time it's me (the host) playing games and others in the system watching in co-con, and I'm more so-and-so when it comes to games, sometimes I'll be really good at it, sometimes really bad. So a few years ago I was playing a metroidvania with our sister, since it didn't have multiplayer and no mods that added multiplayer at the time we had to take turns and swap the controller. At the time we were stuck on one of the late game bosses, and I did a solid 200+ attempts in a row for about 4 hours straight before finally beating the boss in a stoke of luck.

Fast forward a few months from that, our little decided they want to play the metroidvania with me after seeing some gameplay footage from it while we were browsing Youtube. So we played the whole game again and the whole time I was dreading getting back to that boss because of how difficult it was. Instead of the long and frustrating session I had with our sister, the little beat the boss on their second attempt. I was really proud of them but also lowkey kinda salty because it took me so long to beat it and they made it look like a cakewalk We finished the rest of the game within like a week or so and they also managed to power through the newly added bossrush modes in the DLC that came out a bit before we started our playthrough, and honestly I'm still kinda astonished they managed to get us a new ending because to this day I haven't been able to beat the final bossrush on my own

(could we claim 🫧 as our anon tag?)

Omg, so glad you like the blog idea!! I think is was necessary because we wanted something similar but couldn't find it... No back to the storytime!!!

That's a... Pretty interesting storytime I might say, kinda funny how the little could beat it so easy and you couldn't TT (No offense to you ofc)

This show how different the skills are between systems and it's so curious!!

Hope this little can play all the game they want and maybe become a master in video games, they deserve it (Tell them to teach me, I suck in video games lol)

Little is wild, they're gonna beat world records in games /pos /pf

Guys we have our first storytime AND anon claim, omg I'm so happy!!!

[huachengeye]

Only Friends: Is accountability a reality for them?

So, here we are, episode 9. We are reaching for the finish line, but the road is still rough and long. Some will get there earlier, and some will need to be dragged there, but in the end, it's about the mistakes we make along the way lmao

Sorry, I had to start this as dramatically as this episode felt for me. Only Friends it's the gift that keeps on giving, and every damn time they GIVE. It's wild how every episode is as strong, sometimes stronger, than the previous one. The characters are great, they evolve little by little (baby steps) and those characters from the first episode are nowhere to be found, which, by the way, I love it.

But I still have a problem with this episode, a problem that I hope will be developed in the next ones, but that, as of now, is lowkey pissing me off. Fortunately enough, I'm not the only that is bothered by this. So let's break down my rumble into parts. First, let's start with the easy, comfortable part: SandNick's friendship.

If you never looked at your friend and thought "What if we kissed?" are you really friends?

This was groundbreaking for me. It's so realistic and so fun!! I was literally giggling and kicking my feet, which was a first in this series lmao. I love the kiss, the thought process before it, the laughing after it, the clear understanding that there weren't any romantic sparks from it, and the choice to go to cuddle after. Everything about this scene is really special and heartwarming for me. This is the friendship that I'm here for, my second-option boys.

I love how P'Jojo really pays attention to every detail of a queer relationship. I saw my own friendships in this moment of Sand and Nick, and I never saw my friendships as being queer. I come from a culture where hooking up is really normal, even if it is between (best) friends. I lost count of how many times I've gone to parties where my friends would just hook up, and sometimes that got messy, but most of it was just simple. Two people (sometimes, maybe, three) kissing and sharing a moment of happiness with each other. We have a saying in my country (maybe not a saying but anyways) "(hooking up) strengthens a friendship", and that might be from the fact that we, like the characters from OF, are a bit horny, but also because touching is a very big part of how we show affection and love.

I've never, at least as far as I knew, had a queer relationship with someone else. Not like the ones I'm seeing in this show. Heck, I only fully understood my own queerness a couple years ago, although liking people from different genders was always a part of myself, I just never really cared or gave much thought about it. But the friendships I had were all very hetero in my point of view, most of the time it was about girls hooking up with guys and only hooking up with other girls when there was drinking involved - never boys with boys. Funny enough, now that I'm not friends with those people anymore, I think what we had was queer in a way. The way our love-giving culture works is queer in some way.

(I promise I'm making a connection here, and I'll circle back to Sand and Nick in a second)

I've only started to study queerness and to feel my own queerness a couple years ago, as I said. I still don't have quite the knowledge to explain what queerness is, but for me, it's about everything that falls outside of the so-called normal. In today's society, normality is for there to be romantic touches only between people from different genders, and only with the intent of having a romantic relationship with that person. Friends being close to each other, in a way that romantic partners would be, is weird. And it's weirder when they are from the same gender, especially if they are two boys.

My experience with my girl friends was always simple, we liked to be close to each other, to give hands, to share small touches, to be connected in some sense. I feel that this is more accepted by society as a whole, maybe this is even mocked a bit because girls are a joke all around in this pathetic patriarchal society. But when it's two guys (or two perceived guys) being touchy touchy with each other, that's a no-no. And that's where my guy friends (and men in my country, as far as the ones I was around) differ. They are still very led by machismo, but it was always so common for me to see my friends joking around about wanting to date each other, sharing hugs, and sometimes kisses (no more than a peck, and honestly I gave them a curious side eye at those times), but even they had a very strong camaraderie that really was a mirror of my own relationships with my girl friends. The same goes for my friendships with my guy friends, we were queer in the sense that we engaged with each other, not with a romantic mindset (there were times when that got messy) but just as two friends that care for each other, and that strengthen their friendship through kisses sometimes.

That's Nick and Sand for me. Their decision to kiss was not just because they wanted love, wanted to give love, but it was a hopeful shot at maybe sparking romantic feelings between them. It was a hopeful shot at finding someone that they knew would love and care for them back, romantically. It didn't work, and it wasn't sad or awkward, it was fun and happy. It was two people sharing love with each other and building community, building trust, and honest love. And the cuddling afterward was the cherry on top, it brought it all together and tied in a pretty bow. The first time I heard about queerplatonic relationships was in 2020, I think, it was a groundbreaking discovery for me, as it gave me the answers about what connections I craved. For me, Sand and Nick is the first representation of a queerplatonic friendship I have seen since then, and it's making me emotional lol.

I'm not even going to mention them calling each other "team second option", that was pure gold. Have a friend who jokes about your love life (and theirs) with you. Get you a friend that you can be both delusional and realistic with.

(if you want another interpretation of the queerplatonic relationship between Sand and Nick I suggest @wen-kexing-apologist post. I took the photo of SandNick's kiss from this post btw, so thanks :)

Did I just ramble about my past friendships as if this is about my life and not about Only Friends? Yes, I did. Thank you Only Friends for making me dive into my own emotional mess, always a pleasure.

I'm still not ready to bring my rage and disappointment to the table, so let's talk a bit more about the parts I really enjoyed in this episode - aka, Top's development, Mew's mothers, Nick's goodbye to Boston, and Mew finally getting out of his little cave and going to touch some grass.

Let's start with Top. Where is that character from the first episode that was SURE he would get whatever he wanted? I was waiting for this moment, and it's finally here.

I was not surprised by Top's choices in this episode, actually, I was elated about his development. If he was the old Top he would've shown Mew the video of SandRay's kiss right after it happened. I knew he wouldn't, he was definitely thinking about it, but for once he thought about how his actions would affect Mew. And this episode showed us a bit more about Top's own problems.

I don't know if I talked here about the scene where Top was thinking back about his moments with Mew, and about how those moments were REALLY different from the ones we saw from Mew's POV. Top's point of view was really sad for me, at that moment, through Mew's eyes, we saw them having fun at the silent club, dancing together, but through Top's eyes, it was as if he was already grieving Mew's absence. It made me think about his choice to bring Mew to that particular place. At first, I thought it was a fucked up thing to bring his current boyfriend to a place he went with his previous boyfriends/hookups, but after the flashback, I got a different perspective of it.

Top actively chose a place where they would be together but at the same time alone. They were listening to music as if they were alone, there was a sense of disconnection between them at the moment. I mean, why would you take someone, that you want to be close with, to a place where you will be enjoying the moment in a separate way? Now, it feels as if Top was trying to be in Mew's life but not necessarily opening himself up for Mew. I mean, there were only two times we saw Top's raw self, when Mew revealed that he knew about him and Boston, and when Mew saw Top with his pills. The second time, Top told us a very personal thing about himself, he opened up about a big trauma of his and then brushed it off.

In this episode, we see him reaching for his pills again, head too full because he know holds in his hand something that could've ruin Mew's relationship with Ray, something that would've been his revenge against Ray for exposing him and Boston, when he is no better than them. He reaches for his pills, places a few in his hands, and puts them back because he doesn't want to do it. Top then calls for someone, probably Boeing, asking for the person to come see him because he can't sleep and doesn't want to use the pills anymore. We can view this in a few ways, it can be that he doesn't want to turn back to his old methods, or it can be that he doesn't want to run away from his traumas and problems anymore. I believe in both those things. Top is the first one of the hurricane trio (Top, Boston, Ray) to actually take action and start to change.

The end of the episode makes us think that Top didn't change, because who the hell invites his ex to his place whilst trying to get back with his other ex? But I really think Top did change, and that whatever Boeing went to do in his place wasn't sexual at all. My theory right now is that Boeing knows about Top's insomnia and trauma, he might be the only one that knows other than Mew. And I think they are just friends (maybe Boeing wants to get back with him, maybe not, but I think Top doesn't want that), because if they had broken things off in a bad way, why would Top keep the little plane Boeing gave him? If Top was like Boston made him out to be, a player that doesn't do long-term relationships, wouldn't he have disposed of the things his ex gave him? If my theory is right, this will be the first time we see Top with someone he considers a friend, and I believe we will be seeing a whole other side of him because of it.

Top chose to keep the video to himself, he chose to not be the one at the top, to not have the last word in this situation. For me, that shows that he really cares for Mew, and cares enough not to make Mew go through the shame of having proof that his boyfriend is cheating on him. Yet, he still gave Mew pieces of advice and asked Mew to think if Ray really only loves him. He planted doubt in Mew's mind, but it was for Mew to keep his eyes open, that way he wouldn't have to actually show Mew proof and make Mew see with his own eyes.

I saw some people bringing up the possibility that he is doing the "long game" (yes, this is a Girl Meets World reference) and that's why he chose not to show Mew, but honestly what in all of his actions shows that he wants to do the long game? He doesn't let Mew go a day without him showing up like a ghost (which btw is really bothering me, like, now your place, give him space), even when it was Mew's day with his mothers, the one day it was clear he wanted just for him and his mothers. This is the one big thing right now that I want to be acknowledged by the series, the amount of boundaries that are crossed, not only with Top, makes me SO mad.

But I have to admit, Top is growing on me right now, but it all depends on how he will deal with the whole "Mew-Boeing" situation and if he will actually respect Mew's boundaries from now on.

Goodbye, Ton.

First off, before this, I need y'all to read this post by @lurkingshan, she makes a great analysis of this Nick and Boston moment.

But this was such a powerful scene for this couple, the most powerful in my opinion. We finally see a side of Nick that we had never seen. From the get-go, Nick was just after Boston. From the moment Boston went to get his phone fixed, Nick was interested in Boston, almost in a stalker way (I'm sorry but I'll never get over the fact Nick went through Boston's phone to masturbate to one of his photos, that won't ever sit with me). Until this moment, Nick was nothing more than in love with Boston for me. I didn't feel like he had a strong personality outside of his relationship with Boston, but woah, this episode really showed me otherwise. I'm now on the same side of the people who think Nick is a cutie who deserves happiness.

In this episode, Nick truly acknowledges that Boston is not the amazing person he keeps on trying to convince himself he is. He does it on his trip with Sand when he asks himself why he falls for "bad guys". At the same moment, he makes peace with the fact that he was Boston's second option, a huge change from his last conversation with Sand when he says that maybe one day Boston would love him. I was so happy with this development, and not even when Nick, in his goodbye to Boston, said to Boston that Boston should stay the way he is because he is loved for who he is (let's not lie now, dear Nick), made me less happy. And our boy is moving on!!! And with a Daddy too, look at you go Nick omg.

Another thing I want to point out about Nick in this episode is how aware he is of people being interested in him. Throughout the series, I only saw Nick as being insecure about himself, and he really was, we even saw him trying to act more like Top, going to the gym and dressing up (a behavior that he shares with Mew). And throughout the whole series, I saw a bunch of people treating him as if he is completely incapable of taking care of himself as if he was the lamb being manipulated by the big bad wolf Boston. When he said that he knows Boston is not the best guy around (not exactly with this wording lmao), it made it very clear that his not innocent (I mean, he masturbated to a photo of a guy he didn't know, a client, did y'all really think he was innocent????). But this episode made it extra clear, he immediately clocked Dan's intentions, and he wasn't taken back or shy about it, he was flirting back (the same way he did flirted back with Boston at the beginning). These people are in college, they are not innocent in any way anymore, innocence is not in sight in this BL, at least not when it comes to relationships.

So, go Nick!! Hook up with your Daddy (you kink bunch), and have lots of kisses with him before hurricane Boston comes back to your life because he will and I'll be sat for it.

THE MOTHERS HAVE ARRIVED!!!

I was so excited for these two to be introduced, and this was the perfect timing. The way they immediately saw that something was off with Mew like they barely walked in and alarms were sounding in their heads. Finally, a parent figure that is parenting, missed those.

I think this was a really important moment for Mew to have right now. After this encounter with him and his mothers, Mew started to get back to himself. I remember that Mew's mothers were his inspiration, they are his ideal view on relationships, so I'm sure their presence made him remember that what he is doing right now is not what he wants for himself. Also, I think he just needed to have a good influence close to him.

The mothers didn't realize the uncomfortable vibe between Mew and Top, but I forgive them for it because they don't really know. I need more of them. I need more of the older lesbian couple, I need more of older queer couples to advise these youngsters (if I told y'all that I'm probably younger than them, would y'all believe it?)

BRING THIS MAN HIS GLASSES, HE IS BACK!

No one in this episode was as honest as Mew. I loved Nick's emotional speech. I loved Sand being open about his feelings about Ray. But Mew takes the cake for me, and it's not because he is my favorite.

Mew literally went after everyone he wronged here. He is apologizing, and taking responsibility for his actions, and he is the one who is reaching out. The first one he went to make peace with was Ray, loved that. I love that he said out loud that the reason he was with Ray was to hurt Top. Mew didn't try to bullshit, he was honest and clear with Ray. And I love that they said "I love you" to each other, for the first time (for Ray) in a non-romantic sense, just pure friendship love. I also love that they joked around afterward. I didn't love the way Ray didn't take accountability for his behavior, but I will talk about it later.

Then Mew went to Cheum, which, by the way, he was the only one to go and talk to Cheum after that mess of a party. He opens the conversation by saying that he went to apologize, then he looks at the faces of everyone who was saying he was being manipulated and said

I wasn't possessed by a ghost. I was just lost. I want you to understand that what happened to me affected my self-confidence so much. I just thought if I became someone else, I'd be stronger.

Yes, he behaved like a lot of people behave when they have their first heartbreak. Thank you P'Jojo for always getting it right.

This also confirms the theories around Mew trying to be someone else, mimicking someone else (in this case I really think he was a mix of Ray, Top, and Boston) because he was lost and hurt. I really hope he starts to work on his self-love and own his confidence. My baby deserves happiness :(

Are you happy? Well, that's over! Brace yourself because I'm coming back to write about him, my nemesis as of right now: Ray. I'll probably make a post only for him, so when that's done I'll link it here :)

[strawberriesinmoominvalley]

fic writer interview!

tagged by @beensinning and @481boxboxbaby <3 (thank you!)

How many works do you have on AO3?

i have 42 works! i did not realise i had written that many 😅

What's your total AO3 word count?

581,085. somehow more and less than i was expecting

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

love will not break your heart (but dismiss your fears) - 849

send you my love on a wire - 812

if you changed anything would you not have survived? (you're alive, you're alive, you're alive) - 807

there are two of us on the run - 609

we are the reckless, we are the wild youth (chasing visions of our futures) - 487

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

for the most part, always! it might take me a while to get there (especially on fanfics i am neglecting), but i will always try to reply

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

probably i will look for you as the sun rises higher. the only time (as far as i can remember) i have properly written major character death

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

i think i write a lot of fanfictions with happy endings! but probably love will not break your heart (but dismiss your fears). it felt cathartic

Do you write crossovers?

unless within marvel counts, no. i write a lot of au though!

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not in any recent times, but definitely in the past

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

nope :)

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

unless people are doing it secretly, no

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

yes but it's very abandoned. open to doing it in the future though!

What's your all-time favourite ship?

i am far too much of a multi-shipper for this! i also tend to go back to platonic tags or themes more :)

but i have a soft spot for lando norris/oscar piastri and clint barton/natasha romanoff

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

... basically every fanfic that's not formula one! i'm just not interested in writing for anything else at the moment

i really want to finish if you changed anything would you not have survived? (you're alive, you're alive, you're alive), when the shadows fall your light will still burn brighter and i need freedom now and i need to know how to live my life as it's meant to be. the two star wars fanfics are more likely to be finished (i am always into star wars) and i hope when stranger things 5 comes out it gives me the motivation to finish that fanfic

hold my hand tight (we'll make it another night) is almost certainly abandoned. i love that world - it was my biggest project at the time and the first time i got somewhat popular and i have so much planned out for it - but i don't see myself getting into marvel again. i also don't like the way i approached certain topics

What are your writing strengths?

world building! i am one of those people with an incredibly active imagination - having to swim through the fires to stay in this world has a 37 page planning document that gets bigger everyday. i have a history of the world its set in and a timeline. the amount of lore that i'll never use... i always say i want to be a tolkein-like author (insane statement i realise) and when you don't have many people to talk to irl, you spend a LOT of time in your own head!

What are your writing weaknesses?

describing emotions. not to sound too autistic about it, but i just don't know how people express their emotions. i really struggle to describe that without outright stating the character was sad for example. it's something i practice (and have found many writing resources for, thank goodness)

i don't know if this counts, but finishing fanfics. something i have only started doing since writing for f1 is essentially writing the entire fanfic and then starting to upload. it has meant that i can finish fanfics, write more without panicking, have an upload schedule! but i wish i had started this many years ago

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

in the past, i simply used the "translation at the bottom!" or wrote it in italics next to it. i have seen the light that it is not the best technique!

i think it's okay to have the odd phrase, word in another language, especially if it's self-explainable! i will pop bits in - especially in french (je le parle!) - but for the most part i either write it in english and say "they said in *insert language here*" or something to the same effect, or i will simply not write the dialogue if the character we're following doesn't speak it (you will be seeing this example in heretic pride :3)

tl;dr the odd word or phrase is fine! otherwise i would advise against it

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

star wars!

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

difficult question! i honestly don't know - maybe star wars rebels?

i'd like to write more for charles leclerc/max verstappen and jenson button/sebastian vettel - or at least, them as the centre of the story

What's your favourite fic you've written?

i mentioned this in the end notes of the fanfic, but love will not break your heart (but dismiss your fears) got me through probably the worst time of my life. i needed to write something about grief and hope - because i needed to cling to the idea that it would be better. and i won't get sappy about it, but it genuinely is probably the only thing that helped me to keep going and not bundle myself into a ball and cry

it's the biggest project i've ever done, the most love i've ever received. i've made friends because of it that i love and cherish. i am so proud of it. it is my magnum opus

<3

this was a lot of fun! no pressure of course, but tagging @cx-boxbox, @zolica-ao3, @lottie1824, @magdacimy, @jaecantwrite, @wanderingblindly, @kaossbells and anyone else who wants to join in!

[jeridoesntdourls]

until i finish up the updated character intros to my LIs i NEED to talk about songs i associate with them because there are patterns and if i dont assign everyone an oh hellos song and a disco elysium track shoot me on sight because that is not me. This ended up so long, I'll do the oh hellos on another post. If any of this is interesting to you, PLEASE consider playing the game. PIRATE IT THOUGH, the original team was fucked over and no longer receives any money from the game itself.

BOREA

Precinct 41 Major Crime Unit (Sea Power)

“Here comes the cavalry…”

To me this track was always a weird one, it’s both confrontational and hopeful at the same time. Knowing you have people beside you and they’re all dipshits. Still, you can see the dawn on the horizon.

Ignus Nilsen Waltz (Sea Power)

“You were born in the year ‘07, in the last year of the Commune of Revachol, right before it fell. In the Old Military Hospital, on the ground floor where people usually came to die, during a snowstorm. The Revolution had about one year left to go and the fires were still burning bright. There were explosions in the blizzard. This was 44 years ago. You are 44 years old. The bloating might never leave your face, but beneath it -- you still have some years. You still have some hope.”

God I need you to know I love this song so much. A visage of things that have gone, reminding you that you carry a past but it’s not over yet. Failure after failure, revolution and change, a lullaby to quell the pull of the present and to help you carry the weight of a future so bright it burns you to look at it. On your feet now, there’s still time.

ATTIS

Off We Go Into The Wild Pale Yonder (Sea Power)

“NO TRUCE WITH THE FURIES”

This song can only be discovered if you can let go of your past lover and continue on as a broken, discotheque lunatic. You loved and you were loved but it’s gone now, nothing waits for you back there. Change hurts more than stasis but it’s more than worth it.

Krenel, Downwell, Somatosensor (Sea Power)

“God… Please”

I only discovered how much of a banger this was after I finished the game and went back to the soundtrack, I was way too worried about letting Kim die to notice it the first time- SPAGHETTI FUCKING WESTERN IS ATTIS TO A T.You are putting yourself in danger to protect these people, looking down the barrel of a gun and putting everything you have into making sure you and your partner get out alive.

MEDEA

Saint-Brune 1147 (Small Pinewood Church) (Sea Power)

“Something that had walked in our midst, watching us stumble for hundreds, if not thousands of years, until it decided to interfere -- interfere in the course of our history. "We were supposed to come up with this ourselves!" the man was reported to have screamed at the innocence...”

The Heilist church is mainly inspired by own issues and past but Disco Elysium is such an influential game that I’m sure some of Delores Dei’s influence must have seeped in. With that comes the age old question, why doesn’t God interfere?

La Revacholiere (Sea Power)

“You are a violent and irrepressible miracle. The vacuum of the cosmos and the stars burning in it are afraid of you”

Medeas route is filled with a lot of moments where you have to look at things that are larger than you, God and mankind itself, the history you’ve made. You only know how to live violently, how to burn through it all, the suffering alone doesn’t make you holy though, but what you do to change it is a good start.

[pinkgrapefloyd]

fic author q&a

tagged by @zannolin <3 tysm!

why do you write fanfic?

i love everything about it. i love how immediate it is. i can just click post and people can see it. i love when people tell me their favorite part in the comments. i love having 100% creative control. i love having no deadlines. i love shouting something i'm proud of into the void and then getting a reply from somewhere halfway across the world in a mutual second language. i love building community with strangers over things we both love. it's the best.

which of your posted stories do you think of the most even though the story is "finished"?

probably there's daggers in men's smiles because that one has the biggest piece of my soul in it. i also think of anti-hero a lot but i'm still working on the sequel so I don't count it as "finished".

if you could give yourself fic advice from when you first started writing fic, what would that advice be?

if it's a multi-chapter, get to the 90-95% mark before you start posting. not only does this increase the likelihood of you actually finishing it and ending up with a completed story you're proud of, you'll also end up with a better final product because you can go back and edit earlier chapters once the later chapters are taking form and make the themes more cohesive.

what's your relationship to fic stats?

i like em. i used to track them obsessively when I was younger but honestly i have neither the time nor the motivation for that anymore. but it's nice to see a number and picture actual people. 25 kudos is abstract to me, i don't care about that. but realizing that 25 people looked at a project and went "nice. thanks for letting me read it" is wild to me. makes me really happy.

is there a pairing or scenario or friendship that you miss writing? if so, why? if not, why not?

yes and no. i used to read so much fanfic and write almost none, and now it's pretty much the opposite. so there isn't really a lot of content i'm "no longer writing" because there wasn't much for me to abandon in the first place. steve/bucky was my bread and butter ten years ago (how is the winter soldier ten years old already? wtf?) and i don't really see myself returning there, but i keep finding similar vibes in my newer projects and i'm really happy about that.

what motivates you to write?

i don't know how to stop. it's how i deal with being a person. wish i had a smart inspirational answer but that's what it is. it just happens. if i'm bored or sad or happy or tired or nervous, i write.

why do you write for the fandom(s) you write for?

i haven't fully understood why i write for some of my fandoms but not others. there's a lot of media that i adore and have never written a single word for (hannibal, the x files, ofmd, discworld...). often it's specifically the idea of "this character trait / this dynamic feels underutilized, I want to explore it further". cobra kai is a yarn drawer of messy but compelling character arcs that often go nowhere, and i like untangling the potential of them. star trek is comforting and it's good soil for planting angst, hope and humor plus an ensemble cast.

if you're stuck writing a WIP, what do you do?

work on a different one. i have so many and i'm always obsessed with at least one of them. sooner or later i'll have an idea for one of the older ones and then that's back on the menu again. i never force myself to work on something specific.

what do you wish people knew about comments?

a long unhinged comment is the key to my heart (as @zannolin who tagged me in this knows all too well), but i love each and every one so much. i love comments that are just a chain of emojis, comments that say nothing except 'how dare you', comments that dive into themes and metaphors. i love comments that tell me my fic made them laugh out loud, made them stay up too late, made them tell a non-fandom friend about it. there are so many different types of comments that make up the tapestry of a fun community, so please don't assume that there's a right way to leave a comment and the author will be disappointed or upset if you do it "wrong". i'm always worried my comments are not as funny / intelligent / memorable / observant as other people's comments and i hope i can take that fear away from other readers!

(also i try my best to reply fast but sometimes it takes a bit and i'm sorry! it doesn't mean i don't love your comment!)

maybe there's a question you wish had been on here. what's that question (and answer)? -> what are some writing challenges you're personally looking forward to?

writing more funny miscommunication and seeing how far I can push it. scenes that are set in darkness so I don't rely too much on describing visuals. maybe a mystery one day when i feel up for doing something plot-heavy.

tagging @vimesbootstheory @dykesynthezoid @russolaw @ficusin and @blinkasaurus and anyone else who wants to participate <3

thank you @zannolin for tagging me! love that i can always count on you to be just as unhinged about tdims as i am

[candyfloss-esophagus]

Heyo, it's me! Not being late for once!

Okay, ask game time! (not holding back this time so get ready!)

These are all for Crying Wolf, cause I'll never be normal about it <3

☼

☄

✄

♡

☠

☾

☽

∞

★

(I know you've answered similar questions about the fic before, so feel free to skip those if you don't wanna answer them again <3 )

Hey, thanks for the ask!! I'm sure I have answered similar questions in the past but fortunately for you, my brain is a sieve that has been thrown over the edge of a waterfall.

☼: how i came up with the idea

I didn't actually come up with the idea all by myself, I'm part of the noirpunk discord server that regularly has little round robin fics and snippets that everyone can add onto. In its very early days, we were discussing what would happen if there were a symbiote that was virtually undetectable (and also, tangentially, what would happen if Hobie became infected) and I was so intrigued by this concept that I asked to use it in an actual fic!

☄: what the writing process was like

Arduous. Writing is like pulling teeth for me lol and Crying Wolf is certainly no outlier. I wrote chronologically whenever I had the time to sit down and think about it, but I had it vaguely planned out from the get-go. The only thing was that I added in another chapter -- chapter four was never meant to exist! I was going to shove everything that happened in chapter four and five in together but that seemed like a little much.

✄: something i deleted before the final draft

I post on a chapter by chapter basis because I'm too impatient to keep an entire wip to myself (trying to change that!) but there was going to be a scene where the symbiote was explicitly purged from Hobie. I decided not to write it because of medical semantics and how it would have made it even longer and also because my mental health was like a raft strapped together by duct tape at that point in the year.

♡: my favorite part

My favourite part is the end bit and Peter's conversation with Hobie because that was the thing that the server went into most detail about when we were cooking up the whole concept. I love thinking back to that night so much!

☠: something i found challenging

Fucking writing the damn thing lol. Motivation is very tricky for me and finishing what I start is even moreso (ta adhd!) but we got there in the end!!! As mentioned before, writing is difficult for me and I'm not actually a very good writer so trying to get it to a standard that I felt honoured what we had originally come up with in the server was definitely a challenge.

☾: how i thought people would respond to the fic

I.. didn't? Getting comments is so incredibly rare and special to me and the fact that I get so many purely because I write the most for noirpunk on ao3 is WILD.

☽: how people *actually* responded

Well they responded for a start lol. I got veritable essays on how bad I made people feel and theories for how it would progress and how well done the whole thing was and people from the server cheering me on and even one person who only investigated for the cannibalism, and were grossed out by it which is incredible. It was just a torrent of warmth and love and it was so confusing to me at the time but so important now looking back. It was an awful time for me and my life and having all those comments and responses was so special.

∞: something i wish i’d done differently

I read back on it a few days ago and it all seems so superficial to me now, so suffice to say most things and be done with it there.

★: something i’m proud to have accomplished

Just fuckin. Writing it. Finishing it. Impacting people's lives with it. That's why I write that's why I do this. And it was my first foray into more violent stuff so I'm glad I started it by diving in headfirst instead of just dipping my toes in.

Thank you for the ask! Ask game for any other fics of mine that you care to hear about is here, the fic Crying Wolf is here, and I hope you have a lovely day!!

[fandomscraziness22]

37 and 56 episode…4? of tcp caleb/adam but caleb had a nightmare and adam tries to help in the only way he knows (knew) how

hi friend! ok this is ep 3 au where they fall asleep before exploring! i did not reread this so hopefully it makes sense lol

as comfort (37) and out of habit (56)

Adam can't sleep, and he'd like to think it's the anticipation of exploration tomorrow. But he's pretty sure it's because of the boy in his living room. 

With a sigh of frustration, Adam climbs out of bed and pads to the kitchen, hoping a glass of water will ease his mind. (It used to work, when he was little, before he met Caleb. Then it was Caleb who helped him sleep.) 

I can't think like that, Adam berates himself. They've been broken up for a year now, and he needs to get a handle on himself, because that isn't how you interact with your ex. 

He fills a cup from the sink and takes a long drink, trying to settle himself. Bed, rest, sleep, relaxation, restoration… The exercise from long ago crosses his mind, and Adam spends a long minute trying to think through more word associations. His body relaxes, and as he finishes his water, Adam finally feels ready to sleep.

Until the night is split by a low moan.

Adam startles, because he recognizes the noise. Having slept in the same bed as Caleb for years means that they are intimately aware of each other’s nightmare habits.

And Caleb’s start like this exactly.

It’s not my place, Adam thinks. They’re not together, and comforting after a nightmare definitely veers into boyfriend territory. This is what he’s not supposed to be doing.

But then the noise comes again, and Adam can picture Caleb’s face crumpled up, his eyes squeezed tight as he battles whatever his mind comes up with. 

A good friend wouldn’t leave someone in turmoil, right?

Adam knows it’s a bad idea, but the instinct to help Caleb is so ingrained in him that he’s stepping into the living room before he can stop himself. Caleb is on the couch, blankets twisted around him from thrashing. 

Caleb takes up so much physical space, Adam had almost forgotten that extended to his sleeping habits too. He's as spread out as he can be on the shitty couch Caitlin bought, and his face is scrunched up just like Adam thought. It sends a pang of longing and sadness through his heart—a reminder of what he lost.

Caleb grunts, then mutters, “No….didn't mean…”

The fear in his voice is enough to shatter the last of Adam's defenses. He slides down to his knees by the couch, calling softly, “Caleb, wake up.”

Not that he really expected it to work. Caleb’s dreams have always kept a tight hold on him. Physical touch is the only thing that will wake Caleb up.

This close, Adam can't remember why they broke up. The last year is wiped from his memory—he's just a boy trying to soothe someone he loves.

Caleb whimpers, and Adam reacts. He presses his lips to Caleb's, just enough pressure to let him know that he's there, to pull him out of the depths of his nightmare.

Adam pulls back, and Caleb’s face has smoothed just a bit. He's almost there (and Adam doesn't want to know what it says about him that he knows what the different stages of Caleb's nightmares look like), so Adam doesn't let himself think, just leans down and kisses him even softer.

“Wake up, Caleb,” Adam says.

And there it is—Caleb’s eyes shoot open and he breathes sharply, taking a moment to orient himself. Adam leans back, giving him space.

The sudden realization of what he did hits Adam like a stack of books to his chest. He's done the exact thing he wasn't supposed to—that isn't his to do anymore. He kissed Caleb, without asking for permission or thinking it through. And now Caleb's ability is probably going wild.

“Sorry, you were having a nightmare,” Adam whispers, not daring to look at Caleb. “I'll just go…”

He stands shakily and makes his way to the hallway. He hesitates, but Caleb is silent behind him. Shame fills Adam, and he walks back to his bedroom, cursing himself the whole way.

Maybe bringing Caleb here wasn't the smartest move after all.

send me a ship and a kiss!

[blinkaftermidnight]

i would love to hear more about some of the unfinished The Wilds fics

Buckle up. There's a lot of stuff dying in my hard drive. Maybe, when I get the time, I should try to finish some of it up/patch it up/post random snippets (if anyone would be interested?).

So here's the thing, I have my drive separated into two types of fics for The Wilds: there are fics I consider potentially still in play and fics I've scrapped altogether. Two different folders. I'll make you a list under the cut and tell you what I consider each to be. And I'll probably give too much commentary about each.

If you want to know more or get a snippet of any of them, please send follow up asks. I would love to share. Or I'd love to hear what, if I were to pick back up with writing, you'd want to read the most. No guarantees, but I'll think about it.

I posted the snippet for i'll be waiting on you forever from Fatin's POV in another ask. Not very far into that, but I also haven't moved it to the scrapped folder. I think my problem with that kind of fic is it doesn't feel fresh enough - it's hard to make it feel new when we already know where it's headed. I've done it before, but it's hard.

I started a second Star Wars AU that's unrelated to the first where Leah's a Jedi Padawan and Fatin is a senator - literally Anakin and Padme in Attack of the Clones. Didn't get very far but didn't scrap it.

I have one that I'm still hoping to finish that's placeholder titled "Leah loses her mind" rightfully or wrongfully, I don't know. It explores her season two on island hallucinations and how that affects her and the group. It's 6.5k and unfinished, but I'm planning to take a look at it and see what can be done.

There are so many post island fics that are just snippets and doing nothing on my drive. I kept trying to experiment with writing all of the season two POVs post island and that shit is hard. Probably a sign not to expand too far away from Leatin because apparently I can only care so much lmao. But I haven't bothered to scrap them.

There's one where I attempted to write Leachel but that shit was also hard apparently. Really I was trying to write all different pairings and didn't get very far. Not scrapped and I have considered trying again more than once.

I started a no experiment AU where it was just an actual plane crash. I have 5k of that and no memory of writing it. Not scrapped. Not sure if I'd ever finish that.

The season 3 fic outline I mentioned in another ask but didn't link because I was on mobile, so that's here if you missed it. Not scrapped, but unfortunately I think outlining it made me feel like I told the entire story even though I never wrote more than 2-3 chapters. That's the problem with outlining, but only sometimes, because I outlined the exes fic/we're falling apart still we hold together, and that was fine.

I started a road trip AU back in 2021. Wrote 7k. Outlined the entire thing and same problem as above. Got stuck. I think I was trying to force word counts on myself for each chapter and it wasn't working. Not scrapped but very unlikely I'll touch it.

I have one just called "waterfall 5" that has five moments spent at the waterfall, and I almost finished it. I think I still have some hope of finishing it, since it's a quick thing.

I've talked about it before, probably two/three years ago at this point jfc, but I don't remember what I've disclosed about this fic. It's the one I mentioned in another ask about it not feeling right, so I didn't put it out, and it's something like 50k words and had a massive plot hole that I had to try to fix, and I was going to do a whole rewrite and maybe put it out. This one haunts me. There's a chance I'll throw the entire draft out one day without editing or fixing any issues. Or maybe I'll take another stab at it, since it's all there. Truly, this one haunts me. For once, I had a perfect title and nothing to show for it. There's probably snippets of it in asks on my blog somewhere from back when The Wilds wasn't cancelled and I was insane about it.

I scrapped the Grey's Anatomy AU. Just gave up on it.

I wrote 239 words of something vaguely Dotin and scrapped that too.

I have a first draft of the fake dating AU i don't belong to you (but you're wrong) that I scrapped. I took it in an entirely different direction and scrapped 10k of this other thing. I think I salvaged some of it for the posted fic, but it started going the wrong way.

Also have a scrapped draft of the last chapter of the soulmate AU i said i wouldn't let you in. That first draft of that chapter was BAD.

I scrapped 14k of everyone else's perception of what was happening with Leatin on the island. Like Leatin through every other character's eyes, and I don't remember why it didn't work or what I didn't like about it.

I'm not gonna lie, some of this stuff I'm looking at...even I don't know what it is anymore.

I scrapped a document called "untitled" and this is literally all that's in it:

"She sees her on the first day of school, sitting with the kid that supposedly led the FBI to Gretchen. Leah smiles slightly as Fatin crosses the lawn, and the kid – Ian – turns to look where Leah’s looking, and Fatin just tilts her head in acknowledgment and keeps walking. There’s nothing more for her to do."

I don't know what that is.

There's STILL a lot more documents I haven't touched on because I haven't bothered to open them and find out what they are (and my placeholder titles don't tell me much all the time). But I feel like this is a good start lmao.

Sorry for writing a novel, but you did ask. If you want more, let me know and I will make time over the weekend to post some stuff.