#I hope I didn't accidentally say anything insensitive

[skiddlecat]

you know what? fuck it. the dynamic between taco and microphone is really interesting and dumbing it down to "evil terrible abuser and poor innocent victim" flattens both of their characters simultaneously.

they both hurt Each Other in ways that can't be undone!!! mic did her fair share of Fucking It Up Big Time as well and i think the way their fallout went down is the best example of times mic could have been better. and before anyone says it NO i'm NOT saying she didn't have a right to back out when she did but what i AM saying is that i think the way she handled cutting taco off showcases one of her biggest character flaws EXCELLENTLY:

when she's hurt by someone, she will hurt them back twice as hard. cheesy makes an insensitive joke? she calls him a monster. taco relapses in her bad habits? she weaponizes her past friendship with pickle. i'm pretty confident in saying both of these responses are Pretty Damn Disproportionate. and i think that's really interesting!!! we should talk more about this!!!!!!!!!

taco did a lot of bad things in their friendship and should absolutely be held accountable for it, but i also think simply calling her a heartless abuser is horribly undermining her character. like, imagine with me, if you will:

(post-writing note. HOLY SHIT this was way longer than i thought it'd be. putting the rest of this post under the cut because the previous paragraphs are pretty much all my thoughts but i kind of go into a full taco character analysis below. if you want to see that then keep reading i suppose LMAOOO)

you once accidentally formed a friendship with someone based off of a lie. you exposed the lie, sabotaged that relationship, and cut him off. that was the last conversation you had. a good while later you realize that, oh no, you actually DID care about this person, and you miss him! but he's GONE and it's YOUR FAULT!!! so you write. you write, you write, you write, hoping to get a response, but you never do.

and then. and then you find someone else. someone who's loud, chaotic, cast out. she reminds you a little too much of the lie you built for yourself. and so, you help her. for your own selfish reasons, sure, but you attempt to reign her in. she doesn't trust you at first, you don't trust her either, and you are... less than kind to her. it's not pretty, but at this point it doesn't really matter to you, because right now she's just a means to an end. she doesn't mean anything to you.

but slowly, over time, things start changing. she starts seeing past the brick walls you built around yourself. starts trying to break them down, little by little. you avoid, you resist, you do everything you can to prevent her from getting through, because vulnerability is frankly disgusting, and you don't want to talk about your problems anyway! but, this doesn't last. you actually apologize to her, for being so closed off, because you should be doing better, and she seems to appreciate it.

someone brings up that old friend to her. you get MAD. it's like rubbing salt in the wound, reminding you of every reason you're not happy, every reason you've been scared of getting too close. he suggests that you will leave her the same way you left him.

and. surprisingly. your ally does not side with him. she tells him you're changing. you're changing. she looks at you and all of your disgusting flaws, and she sees someone not beyond redemption. and you think that maybe. maybe you can trust her. maybe you CAN let your walls down. maybe you won't screw it up this time. and, and...

one mistake.

a pretty big one, granted, but a mistake nonetheless. you relapse into some bad habits, because the situation you entered was not the one you planned for. and she's mad. so mad, in fact, that she takes your old friendship, something she knows is a touchy subject, that hurts every time it's brought up, and she weaponizes it. she looks at you as if you mean nothing to her, and then she leaves. she leaves before you even have a chance to respond.

one. mistake.

one mistake is all it took for her to grow sick of you, for her to agree with all of the terrible things people say about you. and what hurts the most is that you TRUSTED her. you thought you could be open with her, you thought she was DIFFERENT. but no, she's not different. she's just like everyone else. and maybe, if the one person who believed you could be better gives up on you... maybe they're all right about you.

the walls are back up. they're thicker, stronger, and as far as you're concerned... it will take FAR more convincing to let anyone get through ever again.

...and then mepad comes along and says he doesn't even believe you're a bad person in the FIRST place, which is. astounding and very hard to believe but he's seeing you at your absolute worst being needlessly cruel to everyone and is STILL saying this with complete confidence so, fuck, kind of hard to keep THAT up for very long. then ii16 happens and you know the drill SHE'S DOING BAD.

hoo boy this went on for a lot longer than it was supposed to. anyway all this to say i think we should talk more about how they both hurt each other rather than push the narrative that one of them was "the abuser" and the other was "the victim" because frankly that's not even how it works in real life. thank you for coming to my ted talk i've been sitting on this for weeks afraid that i'd be told to kill myself over anons 👍

[im-not-samantha-im-samanta]

Reader // Seeds of Doubt // Husk

___________________________________________

A few words from author: Hello there everyone, I'm back again! ^^

This time I'm feeling a bit better, and I'm presenting you a new fanfic format I'm trying out: Scenarios!

It's a bit different from what and how I usually write but I hope you'll still like it. ^^"

_

Type: Scenario

Scenario summary: You are Alastor's s/o, but he can sometimes make insensitive comments, so his dearest friend Husker reassures you about Alastor's feelings towards you,

Settings: Fully platonic

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

!TRIGGER WARNING!: Swear words used, light mention of alcohol consumption, typical things one can expect with Husk and Alastor, Reader doubts Alastor's love for them, Husk talks shit about Alastor for a bit but he still comforts reader, Alastor is a little shit and plants doubt into Reader's head for his own amusement, that should be all!

Sidenote: I included reader having doubts because of Alastor being aroace because it made sense in the scenario but I truly hope it didn't offend anyone - I'm ace and possibly on the aro spectrum too, so I really didn't mean to misrepresent the spectrums or anything!! I meant well I swear >-<,

Sidenote: Reader is written as gender neutral, but if the reader description leans more towards feminine sense it's purely unintentional and I apologize!

Sidenote: The editing on phone will be the end of me one day,

_

That should be all,

Hope you'll enjoy, <3

___________________________________________

Slouched at the bar, a drink is in your hand,

You're lost in thought,

It's not often you're found like this,

On the contrary, actually,

It's rare for you to sit down and hope to get lost in your drink to avoid your thoughts,

But sometimes Alastor can be rather insensitive,

He can say and do things that hurt and that plant little seeds of doubt in your head,

And whether that'd be deliberately or accidentally is up for a debate,

This time it was about him being aromantic asexual,

He made a comment that suggested him being with you just for pure entertainment, not for affection or anything else because he, as he phrased it: "doesn't feel the need for it after all",

And that didn't feel nice,

Not at all,

Again, he could be just messing with you,

Or maybe he didn't mean for his words to come off that way,

But still,

You worried there might be some truth to his words,

And again, Alastor being on the aroace spectrum didn't mean he felt nothing towards you,

It didn't mean he couldn't feel affection for you or anything similar,

And it definitely didn't mean you two couldn't be in a relationship!

That's why you tried to drink your worries away,

Because you knew they were just that, just worries,

Just thoughts you should pay no attention to,

However, you'd be lying if you said his orientation didn't play into your doubts after his playful but not so kind words,

And maybe that was his goal,

To have you all tense and on your feet, thoughts running wild,

But it still didn't make you feel any better,

And so, you just downed your drink, trying to ease up,

"One more... please," you told Husk who was behind the bar, watching your anxiety eat away at you,

"Geez, the fuck's wrong with you? You never order more than one," Husk commented, though he didn't sound like he actually cared to hear you out,

However, it was obvious he wasn't too indifferent towards you,

He remembered you weren't really a drinker, after all, which was nice to know,

"Nothing much..." you told him with a sigh, "Just overthinking...",

"Yeah, you look the part, you look like a fucking mess" Husk replied, borderline on insulting,

But you've learnt to not take it to heart,

This was just the Husk fashion of talking to people,

Silence then enveloped the two of you, and Husk poured you another glass,

Neither of you spoke until your thoughts got way too bad to ignore,

And you asked Husk a question, desperate to ease your worries,

Even if you knew that Husk was the least person you should go to with such question,

"Do you think Alastor keeps me around just for amusement...?" you asked softly,

And Husk looked a little surprised, before a scowl found its way onto his face again,

"You're seriously asking that just now after dating that piece of shit for months?" he scoffed,

And you looked down,

Husk frowned then, and gave a long sigh,

"Damn, you really are a case..." he muttered before sighing more and rubbing his face,

"What'd that asshole do now?" he questioned, an eyebrow raised,

And while he didn't sound all that much like he cared, you still took the chance to get things off your chest,

"He just... hinted I might be nothing more than just a source of amusement for him," you explain, gaze fixated on your drink,

And once again, Husk sighed, muttering: "Of course that piece of shit would do that, even to his own partner,",

Husk then exhaled through his nose before pinching the bridge of it and speaking again,

"Alright, listen, I hate that son of a bitch more than anything," he started,

"and it's not my fucking job to save his ass and relationship," he paused,

"but I'm gonna do him a favour and cut him some slack,",

Then he sighed and continued: "He does care for you... I mean, I can't say I'm 100% sure, after all that guy's all about messing with people and their emotions,",

"but... from what I can tell, you mean a lot to him..." Husk told you, looking you in the eyes, looking sincere,

"And while I don't think that asshole has anything close to a heart," he sighed lowly, "I guess he wouldn't go as far as to pretend to love someone just for a few laughs...",

"especially not to someone who's proven to be a nice person and a good friend," he told you, shaking his head a little before grabbing the first glass you emptied and beginning washing it,

And doing so, he continued speaking: "He's got some decency... at least I guess he does,",

"But honestly, you should talk to him about this," Husk advised, looking at you seriously, "that's a part of relationships, talking bout feelings, setting boundaries and shit...",

"He's a fucked up, messed up in the head sadist, but I'm sure if you'll be honest with him and tell him how his comments affect you, he'll change his ways..." Husk told you before pausing and thinking,

Then he thought out loud: "Yeah, he'll probably find another way of fucking with ya head, but it'll definitely be less harmful and damaging than what's he's doing now,",

"Of course, I can be wrong about him and this whole thing, I wouldn't be surprised," Husk stated, lifting his hands in surrender as if wanting to decline any responsibility from his advices,

"but... judging by how he acts n all, he does like you in some way... even if just in his own twisted way," he eventually told you then shrugged and again focused on the glass in his hand,

And you were left with lips slightly parted because you've not expected Husk to say anything of what he's just told you,

You were actually prepared for a rant about how much he hates Alastor and how much stupid you are for dating him,

But not this,

You were not prepared for this,

And you were quite pleasantly surprised,

Because hearing reassurance coming from Husk's mouth was a nearly nonexistent occurrence,

And that alone assured you that his words were genuine and meant something,

Even if everything was said in typical Husk fashion,

And, for the first time since sitting down at the bar, you smiled,

You smiled and gazed at Husk with appreciation,

"Thanks, Husk, I needed that," you told him lowly, making him scoff,

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome or whatever, just don't pull any hugging shit on me or some other mushy bullshit," he scoffed, rolling his eyes,

Then he sighed,

"Now get your ass off that barstool and go talk to that fucken asshole," he ushered you, making a shoo motion with his clawed hand,

And you smiled again, knowing that Husk meant well despite acting rather rude and aloof,

But deciding to heed Husker's words, you nodded and got up from your seat,

"Yeah, yeah, you're right, I should go talk to him," you nodded with a playful smile at Husk's attitude,

"I'll be going now, and you can pour the rest of my drink down the drain," you told him before heading out of the room,

"And thanks again!" you called before rounding the corner and disappearing from sight,

And Husk rolled his eyes again,

But deep down he was glad he managed to comfort you,

Despite you not knowing it, you were quite a good influence on Alastor,

And Husker truly hoped you would continue to cling to the Radio demon's arm even if Lucifer himself put obstacles in the way,

Or well... even if Alastor was the one putting obstacles in the way...

___________________________________________

[marley-manson]

due South for the fandom ask meme, if you haven't been asked already <3

Thank you 💖

my favorite female character

I honestly can't decide between Victoria and Frannie. I loooove Victoria, I think she's a fantastic villain, very sympathetic imo, and extremely effective at highlighting Fraser's tragic flaws. And I love that she got away in the end.

I also adore Frannie and while she's less of a perfectly written character, she's in more episodes and she's so endearing and loveable. If we had to have a Fraser het ship teased in season 2 I wish it had been Fraser/Frannie rather than Fraser/Thatcher, both because I like Frannie more and would've loved to see more of her before season 3, and because I think it would've been more interesting thematically. In the episode Heaven and Earth she functionally represents Earth and Fraser's capacity to be more human and less "divine" or untouchable, and I love that.

my favorite male character

Ray Vecchio! I love him, I love the way he talks and complains and feels like everything is unfair to him and always steps up and puts his own comfort second anyway; I love his relationship with his family, from the good heartwarming stuff, to the bitchy sibling stuff, to the darker abusive father who still literally haunts him stuff; I love his fashion sense; I love his sheer loyalty to Fraser; I love that in the Pilot he sought Fraser out specifically to apologize for accidentally being insensitive about his father and invite him to dinner; I love his ridiculous love for his car and that he sacrificed it twice for Fraser... nothing I don't love tbh.

my favorite book/season/etc

Season 1, hands down. Extremely solid television right there.

my favorite episode (if its a tv show)

SO hard to choose between The Deal and Victoria's Secret, but I think Ray's episode gets the edge so let's go with The Deal.

my favorite cast member

I don't really know anything about the cast so idk.

my favorite ship

Fraser/RayV. Ship of my heart. I can read basically any ship featuring Ray, including het even, but Ray loves Fraser best therefore Ray/Fraser is the best ship.

a character I’d die defending

Ray. Thankfully the Ray Wars are over so I don't have to, but I'm ngl I can understand why the fandom was so batshit back then. I see someone casually say they can't ship F/V because they see him as too straight and Kill Bill sirens go off in my head and I have to take a deep breath lol. I would not have survived the 90s.

Also Victoria though. Fraser dug his own grave when he didn't let her go the first time, acab, obviously spending 10 years in prison would make her both a better criminal and angry that's what you fucking get for loving the system so much Fraser, and I'm on her side during the whole finale lol.

a character I just can’t sympathize with

One of Due South's biggest strengths is making just about every character sympathetic in some way. Ray's dad was a good answer to this though, got no sympathy there.

Ooh, also: Bob Fraser. The show did want me to sympathize with him at times lol, but I don't. He sucks, he's emblematic of every flaw Fraser has, he's a terrible father and a pretty shitty person, and the fact that the show wanted me to like him and often brushes all that aside makes me dislike him more than I otherwise might. He's still often entertaining and funny, but I do not have any sympathy for him. Hope Caroline divorces him in the afterlife.

a character I grew to love

Idk, most of my character opinions have been static since I first watched the show in high school...

Okay, Ian lol. The most annoying man in the world, but still somehow loveable. It did take me at least one rewatch to start to like him.

my anti otp

Sorry to the fandom lol but it is Fraser/Ray K. I got into the show specifically for them, because I wanted to read all the good fic everyone recced everywhere, and I did everything I could to try to like them including watching season 3 concurrently with season 2 so missing Ray V wouldn't colour my opinions, but it just didn't happen. They are not for me, they don't have the kind of chemistry I enjoy, I don't like the show after season 2 much in general, and my irrational love for Ray V makes me mad on his behalf to see Fraser getting together with his replacement lol.

I'm not usually that emotion driven when it comes to my fandom interests but due south is always kind of an exception there. I am at least self aware enough to find my irrational resentment funny rather than taking it seriously though. Like, I have 0 beef with F/K shippers, I respect your interests and I can definitely see why it was a fandom juggernaut back in its day. I'll just never read it.

ask meme

[a-random-weeb]

Name:rei

Height:5’4

Eye color:black

Hair color:black

Hobbies: reading and crocheting

Likes: cold drinks, giving out physical affection, plushies, listening to music, murder mystery books/shows and spending money

Dislikes: people who make fun of my interests, people who are insensitive as shit, math actually I LOATHE math, people who are genuinely rude for no reason

Personality: very skittish and shy at first and will rarely engage in any kind of conversation or activities first but after a while I start getting comfortable and will often make dark humor jokes and prank people by lying about something harmless and after they start panicking too hard I admit it’s a lie.

VERY touchy my hands need to be on someone or I need to lay my whole body on someone in order to achieve peace, very bad memory someone will tell me to do something and I’ll forget it the next second or I’ll accidentally text the same thing to someone again after forgetting I already texted them that thing.

Very socially anxious I refuse to do anything that will make me stand out in public in any way and will completely shut down and become the most silent person ever I’ll only be normal if I have someone with me I know well enough to be comfortable.

I act dumb with people I know but when confronted with a situation I do a whole 360 on my personality and start actually being smart after calling a fan a cooler for 3 minutes not realizing it’s called a fan (actually happened to me while calling with a friend I had to show her my “cooler” during call and she yelled it was called a fan.)

Sorry if it’s too long I just went all out because I was too excited😭

im glad you're excited! And don't worry about going all out, all it does is help me know what kind of person you are better! General headcannons with Fyodor, right?

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•At first, Fyodor takes no interest in how shy you are

•Slowly though, you two somehow become friends

•When he finds out your a more excited person, he's a little shocked

•He thinks your dark humor is funny, though, he can always tell when you're lying

•he thinks the moments when you randomly turn into a smartass are adorable, he always lets out a small chuckle, especially if you're wrong

•He finds you very amusing

•He lives for the physical affection you give him

•He likes to tease you about being short (even though he's 5'11 which is way too tall anyway)

•You get him back by saying he's too tall

•He laughs at your silly insult

•5'4 isn't even that short, how are some people out there 7'5! You're being greedy! Give us 'short' people some of your height! I know you have some to spare since you're constantly bragging about being so tall! TvT

•i didn't mean for this to turn into a rant of making tall people do the physically impossible but anyway-

•He definitely buys you plushies

•Mystery movie nights are very common with both of you, aswell as book talk.

•You both cuddle a lot

•Hes pretty sadistic at times (Or so I've heard one again idk that much about him), meaning he probably makes you do public speaking sometimes, just to see you panic

•He apologizes after and cuddles you, maybe even a 'reward' if you know what I mean 😏

"You did so well with public speaking today Rei~ oh? You look like you're still a bit panicked? I can provide a bit of a... distraction... yeah, let's call it that" he smirks as he pins you to a wall. I'll let your imagination do the rest

˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚˚ ༘

I had a lot of fun writing this one surprisingly, I hope you're happy with the way it turned out!

[reevezs]

The urge to ask "Do I pass for a walking promo for my therapist?" was there but it was a joke that could backfire easily. No, he did not want to know Summer's or anyone else's answer to this one. Especially since he wouldn't be able to sound convincing if he tried selling this version, he just smiled at her and offered a nod to let her know she could ask for their number whenever she wanted.

"I'd look crazy like the Joker if I laughed whenever I felt uncomfortable." And he probably would. Uncomfortable was Zach's middle name. He made sure to remember this little fact about Summer, though, in case he was ever confused about why she started laughing. It sure was less awkward than freezing motionless with a confused look, which happened to be his reaction of choice. "But yeah, maybe that was the only proper reaction to their drama, actually." He sighed, adding a quiet, "Hope I won't have to face such things again."

While he couldn't imagine what it would be like to be an only kid, he definitely understood that getting less attention than the others was painful. He would rather have no siblings than feel that way. No matter how difficult it used to be to spend a normal day with their parents sometimes, he and Eric appreciated how much time, love, and attention their parents had been giving them. Zach smiled in sympathy, carefully picking his words before he said anything, but when she said it would be a good topic to discuss with a therapist, he immediately agreed. He would probably still end up saying something insensitive and regret his comment. "Oh damn, much safer choice than me," he said amused. "Not that I can't lend an ear or anything, but I can feel it's one of those topics that aren't my specialty." Somehow, he could tell that Summer didn't need any reassurance to believe his words.

Zach pressed his lips together and hummed thoughtfully before saying, "Not that different; we're quite alike but the first thing you notice are differences." It was impossible not to notice that they were on opposite ends of the spectrum, but the more time one spent around them, the more visible the similarities were. "It's good you've met me, then. We won't overload the universe with our energies."

Laughing lightly at her question, he only made a "maybe?" face before disappearing for a moment to get them drinks. Actually, now that she said that he started looking for some good controversial opinion to surprise Summer, but actively trying to find one wasn't as easy as accidentally starting the wrong topic.

Zach put Summer's drink in front of her and puffed his chest proudly, head high. "I've got a few." He sat across the table from her and leaned back a little, fingers wrapped around his glass. "Country music, pineapple on pizza, and morning runs." Three was more than enough for now but he could think of a few more silly ones. Zach lifted the glass to his lips with the least convincing smug smile that didn't last long anyway. "I'm picking a fight."

Summer chuckled at Zach's remark about therapy, finding humor in his suggestion. "Yeah, you have a point," she agreed, smiling. "It's definitely comforting to have some level of self-awareness. I'll have to ask for your therapist's number once I have enough money to spend on my mental health." She grinned mischievously, knowing that her spending habits leaned more toward retail therapy than traditional therapy sessions.

As Zach opened up about his ex and their family dynamics, her expression softened with empathy. She could sense the sincerity in his words, although she was surprised by his willingness to share. "That sounds tough," she murmured sympathetically, her features reflecting a hint of grimace. "Although I tend to laugh when I'm uncomfortable, so knowing me, I'd probably end up laughing if I witnessed a fight like that." She shrugged slightly, acknowledging her own tendency to use humor as a coping mechanism in uncomfortable situations. Her family dinners didn't feature any explosive fights, they tended to eat in silence or try to fill the silence with small talk.

"I bet it's a lot different from having a sibling," she started with a nod, shrugging her shoulders. "I just always wanted to be an only child. Especially when I was little. Maybe I was a little bit jealous of how much they were usually given and how little I had," she trailed off, letting out a deep sigh. "Anyway, I should probably reserve this topic for my future therapist." The last thing she wanted was to talk about her past.

"Oh, so it's like, he looks exactly like you but he has a different personality," Summer remarked, pausing to make a funny face and playfully purse her lips together. "You're right. We sure would get along. Although, in my experience, I tend to get along with people who are wildly different from me. Whenever I meet a loudmouth or an extrovert like me, I quickly label them as 'too similar to co-exist'."

Summer chuckled at Zach's playful remark, narrowing her eyes at him with a faux suspicion. "Thank you. You are being awfully nice," she said, a teasing look in her eyes. "Are you trying to get me drunk before you hit me with some controversial opinion?" She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms playfully as she waited for him to come back with the drinks.

[darkerthanblack-666]

(re: the GNC&Trans post) That's the point! GNC and trans people aren't the same thing.

The problem is that people, yes, mostly cishet as I could see myself, either perceive GNC people as ultimately trans when they would've been cis, and therefore apply their transphobic views on them (something something them loving to accuse trans folk of perpetuating the stereotypes but guess who's doing it way more?), or see trans people as just non-conforming cis and therefore deny them their identity. Don't get me started about certain reactions to GNC trans folk, i.e. feminine trans men or masculine trans women. In all cases, this is bullshit. Also, there are non-binary people. Or questioning. Or with complicated relationships. Or people with constantly changing gender like me. So yeah, the point is those things are all different, and all those things are legitimate ways to identify yourself, and nothing of this should be the case of heated discourse.

(can tell from personal experience as enby who passes both as a boy and as gnc/androgyne-looking woman, if my existence breaches containtment and certain people will get aware of my identity, chances are I'll get a) transphobic shit if I'm being perceived as trans man who I'm not, b) homophobic shit if I'm being perceived as a woman expressing affection to women, c) for being an enby, d) 'if you're an enby why are you having boobs' etc etc.)

(I hope I've been articulate enough)

I'm cis (but not het 😆 maybe that makes a difference) and I don't think it's a complicated concept?

Gender identity and expressing that gender are two separate things. A cis man wearing a dress (or even more commonly, looking androgynous, for example those goth guys) is still a cis man. If someone identifies as a different gender, then they're a different gender. People should just listen to what someone tells them.

When I was growing up, musicians who are men wore dresses very often and no one called them trans. They would be trans if they identified as a different gender than the one assigned at birth. If they say they're men, then they're men. If they say they aren't men, then they aren't men.

I personally don't understand transphobia anymore, because it's not my business what's someone's gender. I do get uncomfortable with neo-pronouns (especially in my own language), so I prefer to stick to he/she (and them in English, it's easier to use it in this language), but other than that I don't have an issue 🤷‍.

In fact, I'm attracted to gnc expression in others (just notice how often I want Joel to wear a dress lmao), I don't like traditional gender roles too much, because I see them as oppressive and demanding from others to look in a certain way. Even if I'm gender comforming myself look-wise, I don't think I have a traditional feminine personality (notice how gender roles are just a construct of the society, without those traditional roles there would be no issue with someone being gnc, maybe the idea would not even exist), because I grew up with two older brothers. So I can act a bit too much like a boy sometimes 😆

[slash-me-please]

🍄°°Hello, hello!°°🍄 I saw that your requests were open- and I hope you don't mind the request- But could we mayhaps get some Slasher(Michael, Ghostface, Brahms, Bubba) x F! /GN! Reader who (TW, I'm sorry sorry) Has Body Dismorphia, and used to Self-Harm because of it? Like- the slasher and y/n are just hanging out, and y/n accidentally wore a short-sleeve that reveals their scars/bandages?

I used to deal with S-H a lot, and my body Dismorphia is still pretty bad- and I hope the other people who have/had issues with S-H get the help they need and deserve. <3 Hang in there, shawties

TW: Body dysmorphia, mentions of scars,

Warnings: angst, comfort, Brahms being an asshole, mentions of therapy, fluff.

Sorry this took so long, it required a bit of research and I'm still not sure I did your idea justice, i didn't want to cross any lines.

A/N: i feel like Thomas would be the most understanding in this situation.

Michael Myers

When Michael notices, and truly sees you struggling- he's intrigued but he's also bothered.

Nothing he could say, if he could talk, would fix the thoughts you are having. He still makes sure you know that he finds every part of your body gorgeous.

He wants you to feel better about yourself, but he's not too sure he believes in therapy- nor does he care enough to do any research hecantread

And if you were to wear any clothes that revealed any scars or marks, he wouldn't comment. Michael may be a little shit, but he doesn't want to do anything that may hurt you.

And besides, he has some scars himself.

Poly!Ghostface

Billy and Stu don't understand but that's not saying they wouldn't attempt.

While they are jokesters, they keep it respectful and only bash your terrible "that's what she said" tagline. You really are made for them.

These two CAN pay for any help you may need and are willing to as will.

With them comes freedom of clothing, Stu may ask about any scars but he would not step over any disclosed lines. Billy may kiss them from time to time when you're having a rough time.

Overall they both want to keep you happy as possible.

Brahms Heelshire

He's an asshole.

Brahms doesn't actively want to make you feel bad but he doesn't deal with these things correctly y'know?

If you're having a specifically bad body day, he's not going to be understanding. He may even get aggravated and feel as if you're being insensitive because, "His face is the problem."

With a lot of time and some conversations, he may lay off but I doubt he'd ever be healthy about it. He'd probably pay for therapy though.

If you wore anything that revealed any scars, he'd probably ask about them. Maybe kiss your arms/thighs but don't mention it again.

Bubba Sawyer

Bubba would never do anything to make you feel worse, he'd never focus on a certain place of your body too long, he'd never stare or point or laugh. He truly thinks you're perfect and it shows in the way he looks at you.

There's not much to say, he'd try to keep you as happy as he can without any help around.

The man even goes out searching for certain comfort foods for you, he might try to start a garden before realizing he lives in a flaming hot crater of a town.

And around him, you're free to wear whatever, there's nothing on your body that would ever deter him from loving you.

[fairestwriting]

May I request the first years plus Riddle reacting to a gender neutral silently crying at a table in the corner of the cafeteria after a tough day? (If you can't do Riddle with them that's okay!)

adding riddle in would hit the character limit for requests, so im going with first years only for this one!

Ace Trappola

He didn't notice you were crying before, thinking that your odd, shrunken posture meant you had dozed off or something like that, so he was ready to hop in and make a joke out of it, try to wake you up in some stupid way.

When he approaches you, smug smile on his face, he notices what had actually happened, and his expression dies. You're crying? Well, now this was awkward... and a part of him feels bad, too. He doesn't recall seeing you looking this upset.

Ace isn't good at comforting and he knows it, besides, he's still a little too proud to act genuine, but he doesn't want to see you hurting either. He sits next to you, looking awkward, and offers a distraction — "Hey, uh... tough day, huh? You wanna do something, like... go to Mostro Lounge or whatever, to take your mind off it?"

Deuce Spade

He gets a feeling something is wrong when he sees you alone at the very corner of the table, looking so quiet, and that's why he approaches you. When he hears the noise of your stuttered breathing, he immediately winces.

Deuce stays frozen for a bit, wondering what he should do. So you were upset, something bad clearly had happened, but what does he do about it? He's not good with words at all, and he doesn't want to risk making anything worse by being accidentally insensitive.

You probably notice him there, standing still in silent panic, and look up from your own sleeves, tiredly asking him what he was doing there. Deuce will jump and stammer, but ultimately say that "Uh, I noticed you seemed upset! I was wondering what I should... say about it. B-But I also wanted to let you know that if you need anything, I'm here for you, especially if you want to talk...!"

Jack Howl

He doesn't say it because he knows it'd sound weird, but, he notices you're upset because your smell seems off. You're not that close, he doesn't want to be invasive, but looking at you curled up on the corner of your table, it's pretty clear you're crying, and is he supposed to just leave you there by yourself?

Jack moves towards the table cautiously, a tentative hand placed on top of it. "Hey," He starts to get your attention, his voice soft. He avoids to make eye contact with you, but you can see the worry on his face. "I... saw you were crying. You need to talk about anything? I'm not doing this for you specifically or anything just... y'know, couldn't just leave a fellow student alone when they're like that."

He's the kind who's surprisingly good at comforting. He'll sit next to you and listen attentively to every single one of your troubles, offering pretty decent advice if you ask for it, and then gets you some water in the end, because crying dehydrates you.

Epel Felmier

Ah. So this is awkward. He saw you were alone, and he was going to talk to you, some built up frustration from his day burning at the back of his mind, a rant about Pomefiore ready to spill out, but it all dies at the tip of his tongue when he notices you were crying.

He's the one who empathizes with it the most, really. Again, life in Pomefiore was endless frustration to him, he'd been the one crying at the corner of a table more than once, maybe you even approached him when that happened. So he feels compelled to do something about it, summed up to a general wish to be seen as reliable.

Epel isn't great with words, though, so what he does is dig through his bag, looking for whatever apple-based delicacy he'd been carrying around today — Provided you liked these — and he walks up to you, placing it on the table, right in front of you. "Um, hey, you look upset and I don't know what else I can do to help but, I hope this cheers you up a bit...? If you wanna talk too I'm here!"

Sebek Zigvolt

Sebek saw you slumped over and his gut reaction, of course, was to walk up to you to correct your posture, but halfway through the path to your table, he hears the crying, and he freezes, much like Deuce, though bearing a struggle similar to Ace's — The human is crying? What happened to them? What should he do about it?

Unsurprisingly, none of the training and teachings from Lilia that he so often attempts to apply to the issues he faces in his daily life actually told him how to approach a situation like this. He's confused for that moment, wondering if he should just leave you there before you noticed him, but that didn't seem right either. He's concerned about you, but doesn't really understand that himself.

In the end, he just marches up to your table, a bold call of "Human!" grabbing your attention, and he shrinks slightly when you look up with those bloodshot eyes. "I notice you're crying! If you need any sort of assitence let me know. I-It's for the sake of my training as a servant of the young master to exercise my generosity."

if you wanna support my work, you can buy me a ko-fi or commission me!

[quickdeaths]

Having a remarkably inexpressive face was to Shinobu's benefit in the moment where Sonia mentioned, gloomily, her father's tastes. For someone else, it would have been an awkward, if honest, mistake, but Shinobu knew better. As soon as Sonia said so, the conversation came flooding back - the conversation at lunch, the remarks upon seeing Shinobu's Biollante toy, some fragment of a plan to see another Godzilla film made in front of a date whose name Shinobu had long since forgotten the name of. Were they so incredibly stupid to not even remember anything about the experiences made with the only living friend they had left, even if she didn't?

She could hear Anzu behind her, clicking her tongue and chastising Shinobu on being so insensitive. The urge to murmur a regretful statement at having brought it up was bitten back. If they were truly strangers, there was no way that Shinobu could have known, and while she couldn't say for sure, she wouldn't want Sonia to mistake it for pity. There was little more loathsome, they thought, than being forced to set aside one's grief or sorrow in order to manage the awkwardness of one who had accidentally stumbled onto a sensitive topic.

Then again, perhaps Sonia wasn't in that sort of mood, anyway. Her run-down of Shinobu's previous beliefs was lacking in any sense of comfort - not that the archer especially minded. "Mm," she agreed. "I had things entirely backwards. My beliefs were paradoxical - both that I was the sort of person who was too broken for fixing, yet could be easily fixed by another without any real effort on my part." Adulthood, a positive relationship, and the context of the way the world was now made it all seem rather ridiculous. That that had been Shinobu's biggest problem was almost laughable, if they were the sort of person who easily laughed. And a husk? Something irreparably broken? When compared to someone like Junko Enoshima, whatever cracks were upon Shinobu's soul were barely noticeable.

Again, she bit into a rice cracker, careful not to make a mess upon her suit. "I take responsibility for that poor behavior, though I would contend that the presentation of love in those sorts of stories didn't help, if only by making things look easy." A lesbian should have known better, especially one of Shinobu's circumstances. It might have been enough for some people to find love and feel as though loneliness or being single were the only troubles in their lives, but to be a person forever consigned to society's fringes meant that love was, in essence, a comforting light in an otherwise often-dark place. Then again, how many times could one lose the person they loved before giving up? Was twice too little?

Shinobu gave a small shrug as the last of the previews finished up. "It's mostly academic at this point, anyway," she murmured, even as Anzu continued to make a horrible din in her ear. "I don't know if love is something I could easily attain anymore." Her trauma was difficult to deal with, she was sure, and anyone committed to loving her might need to contend with looking after her battered body. "Though, I'd hardly begrudge anyone it. I find it difficult to condemn anything that brings anyone comfort." As the film began to start, Shinobu gave Sonia one last look. "For you and your friends, Miss Nevermind, if that's something any of you desire, then I hope you find it. Truly." If anyone alive deserved a comforting light, it was all of them.

I wanted so badly to do a good job, but there's so much that I don't know. I can never catch up. I can never be good enough. Ah, Shinobu thought to herself. So that's why she felt a connection to this film when she was younger, even if anime wasn't exactly something she took great interest in. "I think if I'd taken more lessons from the likes of Shizuku," Shinobu said, "I wouldn't have been such a rotten child." She'd never found it, had she? Her passion. Maybe it was archery, but never had they been allowed to find that out for themselves. Maybe, like Shizuku herself, it could have been writing. Shinobu loved books after all, but her self-esteem had been - and perhaps still was - too low to believe that anyone could find meaning in something she wrote.

"I don't know." Having eaten some of the snacks, but still leaving a good amount for Sonia if she changed her mind, Shinobu moved the small tray she'd brought to the side so that she could stand and stretch her legs. "I find her quite relatable. Though, I'll concede, the Baron's fashion sense is quite something to behold." She was trying to make a joke, but Shinobu Yaguchi was remarkably unfunny. Anzu always made sure she knew that her sense of humor was lousy. "I support any wearer of three-piece suits, polka dotted bow tie or not."

Though, Sonia's comment about a sequel was odd. "A sequel? I wasn't aware there was one." Once their legs were suitable stretched, Shinobu sat back down, facing Sonia but hoping not to crowd her. It was difficult, she thought, to want to be near someone, but not want to get too close at the same time. "Admittedly, I didn't watch too much anime as a child," she conceded. Her father largely disliked it, thinking it one contributor to the general softness he observed about the younger generation. "But I thought this studio seldom made sequels." Not that Shinobu really knew what she was talking about, but it had been her impression that too many anime series were hundreds upon hundreds of episodes, an undertaking that she had never had time for. The movies, poignant, succinct, complete experiences were certainly her preference.

It was something to watch, she supposed, and as she reflected upon it, a thoughtful expression grew upon Shinobu's face. "I'm not sure what the rest of your afternoon, or evening, looks like, Miss Nevermind, and I'd hardly want to keep you if there's something you need to do, or something you'd enjoy more." Ideally, there was work waiting for Shinobu, as well, but she imagined that stepping out of the movie theater would only be stepping into more nothingness - occasional busywork, with little to show for it. Even assisting the remnants felt unimportant, typically, as though she were being humored, like a child being given some unimportant task to pretend to help while the adults handled things.

"I'll be dropping by the kitchens before dinner to aid Hanamura-san with things, but beyond that, I have no real obligations today. I confess a certain curiosity about this sequel, if you'd care to watch it with me? I imagine they have it stocked." It seemed like the theater had most of the films from this studio, and if it were a sequel, it had to be rather old as well. It could be fun, she reasoned, to spend the day with Sonia, watching movies without great stakes, enjoying company, distracting themselves from what the world had become. "But, of course, only if you have the time and the inclination. I won't be offended, so please don't put yourself through anything you'd rather not, on my account." If she thought about it honestly, Shinobu wanted to know what it was that had Sonia so upset when she'd arrived, but perhaps it wasn't her place to push. Or, perhaps, when they parted, she could speak in vague language, simply leaving the door open for Sonia if ever she cared to speak to someone unimportant about her troubles.

Sonia could agree that overly gloomy films did nothing to lift her spirits anymore. Crazed murderers running around with a variety of tools to torture only fueled her nightmares further now: she remembered how much inspiration she'd once gotten from torture devices and processes in Novoselic's history and horror films, and combining them provided a whole new type of terror for those who argued against Junko Enoshima's vision of Despair.

But where she differed in opinion with Agent Yaguchi was the mention of kaiju films. They may have brought her comfort, but Sonia's face fell at the mention. Not that she was cheerful these days, not with Gundham and the rest of them still in comas and her miserable future looming as soon as they weren't. But she could at least go from a blank expression to a clearly saddened frown. "I am familiar with kaiju films," She whispered, looking down at her lap. The theater suddenly felt much bigger than usual: it was only one screen with less than one hundred seats (Sonia had counted on a particularly monotonous day), but now it felt like a grand area and she was so small and swallowed up by it all. "My father...they are, were, some of his favorites. He used to show me them often: I think he liked the story of no matter how much power one individual can wield, it is too easy to be seen as a monster by the world. And to try and not become that. I guess he liked the fights, too: it would explain the kaiju and mecha stories he both enjoyed so much."

She hadn't seen one in years, either a kaiju or some mecha anime film: during the Tragedy there had been no interest and now, it was far too painful to endure. Uncapping her flask, Sonia took a sip of its contents as the commercials before the film, already pre-loaded onto the reel, advertised a television show from ten years ago while Yaguchi advertised her apparently awful teenage personality.

"Then you were, unfortunately, doomed from the start," Sonia decided, after listening to Agent Yaguchi's tale of adolescent romantic woe. "You interpreted the world as telling you that love would cure all ills, but you were in no position to love yourself at all. You expected someone else to do the internal struggle you needed to do on your own before anyone else could really come to know and love you, and you doing the same for them. I am not sure that I can fully understand as I am not a lesbian, but I think it may not just be the heterosexual cisgendered love stories that were not relatable. It was the fact you, most likely, were not even trying to love and respect yourself at all: you expected your partner to do all of it for you in exactly the way you wanted, except you did not either know it or did not value yourself enough to look for it and accept it."

Even if she didn't plan on telling Sonia so much about her life, Sonia hadn't planned on giving Agent Yaguchi a complete dressing down of her personal affairs. It showed just how much she didn't need the array of snacks she'd brought back from the shop and only the flask, now balanced on one of the armrests while the bottle of water sat in the attached cup holder. Sobriety gave her more reason to logically lash out at others: at least while buzzed, she could do so irrationally and easily brushed off. Only five minutes of pre-film commercials and she was on her second swig of whiskey.

"In any case," Sonia sighed, not wanting to leave their pre-film conversation on a low note. Even if the movie was uplifting with a hopeful view of the lovers' future, their discussion would only serve as bitter regrets unless she took action. "You are still alive and the world does not wish you dead for being a Remnant of Despair. You are not, presumably, the teenage girl you once were. Surely you have a chance for the love you seek: not all of us are so lucky. Not us condemned criminals, anyway: unless it is with each other."

As the previews faded away into the beginning of Whisper of the Heart, she'd left her advice there. The hopes and dreams of writing books or making musical instruments by hand...surely Hope's Peak had once been full of them, too. But those talents needed to be cast aside for the likes of the former Remnants: they could no longer expect to be praised, or thanked, or adored for them. All they could do was try to make amends until they too passed away, for as long as the world would allow them to stay alive.

It was easier, then, to disappear into a fantasy world, rather like the one the young girl created of a love story between two cat figurines. "I know the film is about the two human characters," Sonia finally spoke as the credits began rolling. "But I always liked the Baron best: in this film and its sequel."

[julia-bunncat]

Some thoughts about Korekiyo's Love Suite Event 💟

I have wanted to speak on this subject for a very long time... But recently I read @hyperfixationtimego post (here) and only strengthened in my positions!! I hope you don't mind that I will rely a lot on your thoughts ^^" Because I agree with them and I just want to add a few words (and maybe correct some little misconceptions)!

Sooo... For starters, I completely agree that Kiyo's ideal is NOT his sister. Love hotel reveals the most intimate in the character's in some way... Deep down, Kiyo realizes that he has never loved her the way he says he did (and I guess that why I like this event - finally Kiyo doesn't mention her at all !!).

And it's absolutely true, that he wants attention. Control. I think, he was force to deny that desires, because, in fact, he lived the life of his sister. He did not have the opportunity to feel significant and loved, since, in general, there was no "I", only "She".

The only thing I doubt - is that a weak, sick girl, who confined to her bed, could tie someone up so easily :'D After all, Korekiyo told Shuichi that he had learned the practice of shibari during his antropological travel. He loved that not because his sister could use it against him, but because, in the process, he saw her spirit and "merged" with her.

«At one point, while crossing an entire country, Korekiyo was attacked by local natives who "welcomed" him by tying him up and torturing him with a whip to near death. He then hallucinated an image of his deceased sister...»

Here ⬆ quote from wiki, just in case :)

And now... I would like to proceed to the main topic of my personal thoughts! To be honest, I never understood why so many fans perceive this event as traumatic... 😅 Kiyo is creepy. This is the basis of his character. But sometimes fans make him almost satanic rapist, I'm sorry :""

Although, other than preventing Shuichi from escaping, he didn't do ANYTHING violent!!

Kiyo was aware from the very beginning that if Shuichi wanted to run away, then the fault would be on him.

Further, when Shuichi had already made an attempt to escape, he didn't rudely push him onto the bed or something else (only tightly grabbed his hand) - he didn't let him fall.

I wouldn't even be afraid to say that Saihara accidentally ended up on the bed xD

And this may seem like a weak "excuse"… But even despite the awareness of danger and paniс... Shuichi no longer resisted. I've always been interested in this lines:

On the one hand, perhaps Shuichi just started waking up (because there is a version that Love Hotel is actually a dream)... But in other way, I really want to believe that he decided to trust Korekiyo. Maybe he really believed that Shinguji would teach him, explain everything, because, in fact, he always did that in Free Time event, for example.

And in the end, it seems to me that if Shuichi tried to escape again - he would succeed. I have nothing to reinforce this opinion, but from a physical point of view, he had every chance (however, I reeeally love Shuichi and didn't mean to judge him for that, don't get me wrong!!)

The only thing that can cause certain outrage, and that shows Kiyo insensitive - is his slightly mocking attitude about everythin. I mean lines like:

«Kehehe, where are you going? You're in my control. Just surrender...»

«What sort of beauty will you show me as I toy with you..?»

When I read them in context personally, I get the impression that he is laughing at Shuichi. Teases with some almost cliched phrases. As if his "That was a joke" is about to sound... And actually, such frivolity only plays into the hands.

Finally, the answer to the question: "Why does Korekiyo stopping Shuichi from running?" seems very simple to me. I can even give several reasons at once. First, having received such coveted attention, he wants to get to know Shuichi better. To respond to his interest with his "curiosity". In other words, to exchange feelings, but we know that his sister completely distorted his concept of true love. That is why he's forced to operate only with those values that he received while studying anthropology. He doesn't know what else is possible. What will be healthier and more correct.

«Now give yourself to me... Your fear, worry, anger, and love...»

«I will reveal all of your beauty.»

And from this point of view, bondage/shibari for Korekiyo is not sex. It's a form of human "acquaintance". Understanding him. A way to "bare his soul," if you will.

Secondly, Kiyo didn't let Shuichi go because he is exactly the first person to admit him. Yeah, we've returned to the very beginning of the post xD That's even banal! Shinguji finally found his "only one" / "ideal" and now afraid of losing him. After all, he had already lost the person who controlled his whole life. To experience this a second time (especially when there is a hint of real feelings) will be painful. To put it mildly.

So it’s possible that by saying:

«Well, whether it is true or false is irrelevant to me»

...he’s being cunning.

«But as I said before, there will never be a time where I love you»

No, Korekiyo, my dear. It's already happened. If it wasn't, you wouldn’t have come back to the subject of interest over and over again~

Phphph However, that's all I wanted to talk about! Love Korekiyo and his love hotel :>

And sorry for my passion and maybe clumsy English 😅 It's not my native language, but I'm trying hard!

[lovclyboncs]

Everything I Wanted (Todoroki x Reader) Soulmate Au

inspired by Everything I Wanted by Billie Eilish.

TW! Mentions of contemplated suicide and insecure thought that could be triggering.

soulmate Au! Where your soulmate tattoo appears on your wrist after you touch your soulmate for the first time.

F!reader x Todoroki

F!reader x Bakugou (brotp)

Plot: the reader is Todoroki’s soulmate, but he doesn’t want to let some mystical ink on his wrist dictate who he should love, so he rejects reader as his soulmate. This story is about how reader first reacted to the rejection and how slowly reader lets herself heal, but what the universe wants it will get.

Part two out now!

This is my very first post on here! I hope you guys enjoy!

I had a dream I got everything I wanted Not what you’d think And if I’m bein’ honest It might’ve been a nightmare To anyone who might care

Every night you’d wake up drenched in sweat, panting as you tried to calm your breathing, tears staining your rosy cheeks. Every night you had the same nightmare, you wished it was just your mind overthinking, but sadly it wasn’t. Even in your dreams you’d replay that memory in your head over and over again.

“ I’m sorry (y/l/n), but even if your name is tattooed on my wrist and even if fate says we are meant to be together, I can’t return your feelings. My heart belongs to another. I’m truly sorry if I’m not what you expected as a soulmate.” He told you with nothing but sincerity in his voice. The sad and hurtful truth. 

“I-It’s okay. I understand Todoroki-san. Don’t worry about me I’ll be fine” You said holding in the need to cry, and the need to let the crawling feeling in your throat free, to scream and yell how once again this world was nothing but cruel. 

He gave a slight nod of his head before walking away from you. His other half as written by the universe and written on your left wrist.

You looked down at the floor clenching your fists and look up once again to see him standing with the rest of the A-1 class who was chatting as they waited for class to resume. A lone tear raced down your face.

“I’ll be fine” You whispered to yourself.

‘I have to be’ you thought.

As a young girl all you ever did was fantasize about your soulmate. You thought it would  be a dream come true for you when you would finally get to meet them. You would get your happily ever after like in those princess tales you’d love to read before going to bed. You thought you’d have the perfect white picket fence life to look forward to. 

As a young foolish girl you thought life would be easy.

you didn’t know your parents were going to sacrifice their lives to save others.

you didn't know that you weren’t quirkless and that your parents had been using ‘vitamins’ to suppress your quirk because of how dangerous it was when your emotions went haywire.

you didn't know that it wouldn’t get better contrary to what your therapist would tell you.

you didn’t know that you weren’t going to make as many friends as you had hoped you would.

and what hurt the most was that you didn’t know your soulmate wasn’t going to be your knight in shining armor like you had hoped. 

Thought I could fly (fly) So I stepped off the Golden, mm Nobody cried (cried, cried, cried, cried) Nobody even noticed I saw them standing right there Kinda thought they might care (might care, might care) 

It had been a month since Todoroki rejected you as his soulmate. You thought you could've gotten over it  but as always it seemed like the universe wanted to punish you for just existing. You didn’t participate in class anymore, You made sure to cover your soulmate tattoo so that no one would accidentally look at it, you didn’t tare your gaze from the floor, you thought that  it wouldn't hurt as much if you didn't have to look at him, but then the rumors started spreading and then the rumors weren't so much of a rumor. 

“ Todoroki and Momo made it official!”

“ I knew they were soulmates, I mean just look at how perfect they look together.”

“ Did you see the picture Momo posted of their soulmate tattoos? I'm so jealous!”

It was all too much for you, so you ran and you ran until you found yourself on the rooftop of U.A. and you let the tears you were holding in fall. 

You let the monster crawling at your throat free, letting yourself scream, letting yourself voice the hurt you had been bottling up.

why weren't you good enough for anyone?

not good enough for your parents to live for, they would rather die for others than to live for you. 

not good enough for your classmates, they barley talked to you or invited you to places like they did with each other. 

not good enough for your soulmate to want you. hell he’d rather cover you up than let people know fate had chosen you for him, were you so disgusting that you weren't even worth mentioning as the soulmate he rejected?

“stop” you whispered to your thoughts.

“ please just stop” your voice sounded hoarse.

“I just wanted everything to stop. To end” you said louder to no one, because no one was there, because no one cared. 

you slowly walked towards the edge of the roof and looked down at the ground.

your eyes were void of anything, they looked empty.

shakily you put one foot out into the nothingness, into the only thing that could stop you from letting the pain overwhelm you. you closed your eyes ready to fly.

‘This world is so cruel and yet so beautiful’ you thought before letting your eyes snap open and gasping.

your eyes regained a light and tears began to swell once again, you let yourself fall backwards away from the edge of the building.

Yes the world was cruel and life wasn't fair, but it was also beautiful. there was still so much you wanted to experience, still so much that would be worthwhile. 

after sitting on the floor for what felt like hours, you heard the distance sound of the bell signaling the end of lunch. you slowly picked yourself of the ground and cleaned your tears with the sleeve of your uniform jacket. 

you made your way back to class 1-A. you were the last one to walk in, and some of your classmates glanced up at you, but they didn’t say anything about your puffy red eyes, they didn’t ask why you weren’t at lunch, they didn’t ask how your day was going so far, they didn’t ask if you were okay. 

because you were not okay.

you once again felt a heaviness in your chest. 

you thought they would care at least a bit, they were heroes in training after all, yet it seemed like they hadn’t even noticed.

they hadn’t even noticed your absence and maybe they didn’t mind it in the slightest. 

I had a dream I got everything I wanted But when I wake up, I see You with me

Maybe you were too wrapped up in your own mind or maybe you finally lost it, but for the life of you, you couldn’t figure out how you ended up like this. Eating spicy noodles quietly with your class’ very own lord explosion murder sitting across from you.

If you were to ask Bakugou why he demanded you have lunch with him, he’d say it was because your dumbass face was the only one he could stand enough to willingly share his homemade noodles with, and if you were to ask him why he was sharing noodles in the first place, he would tell you to shut the hell up and just eat without questioning him.

What Bakugou would never admit is that when he was roaming the school grounds during lunch two weeks ago he saw you standing at the very edge. He stood frozen in place, not sure of what he could do, but before he could will himself to move he saw how you feel backwards and out of his sight. He knew why he froze because he remembered a comment he made to deku before they entered U.A. He obviously didn’t mean it, but seeing you so willingly to just dive of a building made something in him feel guilt for making such an insensitive comment even if it was to deku.

He really didn’t know you well. He knew that he had never actually seen your quirk in action though probably more than half of the class could relate to that since you never really used it. He knew pretty much that he didn’t know you at all and that unsettled him. Sure he wasn’t the most sociable guy or easiest to approach, but he at least knew a couple of things about each of his classmates friends.

So he decided to pay more attention to you, he noticed how you really didn’t talk to any of your classmates and how they wouldn’t try to include you in their conversations. He noticed you always walked with your head down not really looking at where you were going. He noticed the bags under your eyes making themselves more prominent. He noticed how sometimes when you would space out in class you’d be staring at the back of the class where the half and half bastard would sit. He became aware of your being but he still didn’t know how to approach you.

The opportunity came after an awkward encounter.

Everyone (or so you thought) had gone out to who knows where and like always you hadn’t been invited. You decided to train for a little while. You had been slowly progressing with being able to control your quirk, but after your conversation with Todoroki you were back at square one. Your emotions were a train wreck making it hard to control your quirk. Becoming frustrated with yourself you decided to call it a day but since you were sweaty you went to take a shower first. You forgot to take your clothes with you, and since you were by yourself in the dorms you didn’t think it would be that big of a deal if you ran to your room. Midway there you bumped into a wall that wasn’t there this morning. You looked up and there was Bakugou looking down at you.

‘Oh shit I’m going to die’ you thought but then you saw Bakugou frown as he looked directly at your uncovered wrist.

‘Shouto Todoroki’ Bakugou narrowed his eyes. He finally understood why you had been acting more closed off than usual, and maybe if you had looked a little harder you wouldve seen the understanding in them.

“Sor-” you began to say but he cut you off

“get dressed and meet me in the kitchen” he said before walking away.

After that day things changed for you. Who knew eating noodles in silence with an angry blonde could set you on your path to healing?

Every time you saw them holding hands you didn't have enough time to let yourself question what you could have done for that to be you.

“hey dumbass hurry up or I’ll kill you” the red eye blonde would yell at you once he noticed you lagging behind. Making you forget about the black ink on your wrist and making you worry about how bakugou was going to react to you getting a C- on the test he spent a whole afternoon helping you study for.

And you say, “As long as I’m here, no one can hurt you Don’t wanna lie here, but you can learn to If I could change the way that you see yourself You wouldn’t wonder why you’re here, they don’t deserve you”

It was close to the end of the school year and if you were to say that much hadn’t changed you’d be lying. 

thanks to practing your quirk with bakugou and him suggesting meditation to help you stay calm you were finally able to control your quirk enough to use it without fear around others.

Through him you also became friends with the rest of the bakusquad and they helped you warm up to the others.

all the second guessing and the comparing yourself to others didn’t cross your mind often anymore. 

unbeknownst to you every time you peeled off the layers of insecuirty that held you back from expressing yourself bakugou would smile glad that you,just like him, could get passed the pain left by an unrequited soulmate bond.

also unbeknownst to you, as you began getting along with the rest of the class and opening up, he couldn’t help but be captivated by some of your quirks. How you would help the likes of denki study even when you weren’t better off yourself, how you were the only one who entertained Midoriya’s rambling and even added comentary.

He began to get to know you and he could see how the universe could’ve blessed him with a soulmate such as yourself. you were the complete opposite of what he was used to, the todoroki home wasn’t exactly the most affectionate.

He was seeing you bloom right before his eyes and all he could feel was guilt as he diverted his eyes to look at his left wrist.

‘Momo Yaoyorozu’

He softly caressed his thumb over the name and even with his soft touch the fake dark ink smuged.

He thought he had what he wanted.

He thought the universe had been wrong. 

He thought it was for the best.

but as he saw you bickering with bakugou he found himself wondering what he could’ve done for that to be him, for you to be open with him like that.

he knew he was wrong but he was too far in to fix it.

If I knew it all then would I do it again? Would I do it again?

lastly Todoroki knew that even if you found it in yourself to forgive him, he still wouldn’t deserve you. 

Thank you so much for reading this far if you did! I don’t know why I couldn’t get this out of my head and so here it is. Also I threw in an AOT reference to cope with the pain.

[jalebi-weds-bluetooth]

Hi JWB

How are you doing?

I am visiting your blog after a long break and I must tell you I loved everything that's happened since my last visit..the 11 years celebration posts were amazing...the OS was also very beautiful..

I loved all the answers you have been giving..Ur a just amazing. Your beliefs and sense of humor really come across and I am soooo impressed with how you articulate your thoughts... you're too good..

The year's more than half over and it seems life's been trying for you and me and soo many people ..i just hope you are well ...

For the ask...I started rewatching again and have a question around the arc where Arnav comes to know about Kushi's engagement. Khushi was still hurting and so confused becoz of the Diwali fiasco, her father's health, buaji's manipulation and the ensuing engagement. We have seen that there have been many instances when she has given a very befitting rebuttal to Arnav's insensitive and non sensical line of questioning.

So why do you think she never throws his words back at him when she asks him " apko kya farak padta hai?" As in why doesn't she call out his cruelty by saying something along the lines of " you have clearly stated that I don't mean anything to you Mr. Raizada so why are you all bothered with what happens in my life?"

I know she does call him out my question is regarding throwing his words back at him. We don't usually see her do this..is it because she is too hurt or she gets it that he didnt really mean them or she is knows quoting them will hurt him when he realizes he did not mean or something else entirely?

Once again...take care and stay well

Bye

Hello dear,

I am doing well and so glad to see you again! Thank you so much for thinking about me *hugs*

why do you think she never throws his words back at him when she asks him " apko kya farak padta hai?" As in why doesn't she call out his cruelty by saying something along the lines of " you have clearly stated that I don't mean anything to you Mr. Raizada so why are you all bothered with what happens in my life?"

Because very few people have perfect memory. The pain, heartbreak and hours of tension has left the wounds raw in Khushi's mind - also that her aunt forced her to get engaged - clearly she doesn't remember the exact words Arnav threw at her.

But she remembered that he said that nothing matters to him. She means nothing to him. "Tumse, na uss baat se, koi farak nahi padta" Even now I'm paraphrasing Arnav from my memory.

So when Arnav is hurt and shocked by her engagement, she inflicts the farak on him like a slap. Because that broke Khushi. While he was being the center of her universe, he insisted that she didn't even matter.

is it because she is too hurt or she gets it that he didnt really mean them or she is knows quoting them will hurt him when he realizes he did not mean or something else entirely?

Ok this is one thing I want to address about Arnav to the whole fandom. Him not meaning what he said MAKES NO DIFFERENCE. If you accidentally cut a finger, or cut intentionally, you'll still bleed. She doesn't need to quote Arnav to get back to him.

And she quotes him on certain occasion. Such as when she says "you're right, if I didn't enter your life then you would've been happy and so would your sister." It made no difference that Arnav didn't mean it. If he didn't mean it, the thought wouldn't have existed. But he said it.

Arnav's "didn't mean it" does not mean he truly doesn't mean the words or that the thoughts didn't exist in his head. His "didn't mean it" often stems from him regretting the fact the he said the things at the worst time. I'm sure a part of Arnav believed that hypothetically if Khushi didn't exist, then Anjali would've been happier - but that makes no sense considering Shyam's duplicity is beyond Khushi. But he just saw that because Khushi met Anjali, Anjali was triggered to self harm. So, in anger, he wanted to express all his anger at Khushi. And of course later he realises he misspoke and he didn't "mean it" because what he said logically doesn't make sense and Khushi has shown it countless times that she loves his sister as much as he does.

And when it comes to these Diwali angsty moments, Khushi doesn't know Arnav doesn't "mean" it. That idiot means everything he said back then because that was a defense mechanism and he was saying out loud that she doesn't mean anything because she should not. He's emotionally cheating on La, he's a mess basically... no woman, Khushi included, should try to soften their blow assuming the other person didn't mean it.

Khushi just told him what he needed to hear. He has no right nor reason to inquire about her life when he clearly stated she's invisible in his life.

And in reality, people can RARELY make the right argument during fights *cries in memory*

[bumblewarden]

A real quick doodle dump before i get into my proper response

Next--

Novhen wouldn't write anything about not being able to tell the alienage what happened. He trusts his family's judgment to know what is and isn't wise to say. The Tabrises can share their bittersweet celebration with anyone they want

I think you might be right that Astala sees them as a team while Novhen feels like he's the only one who can "properly" take on the role of protector. It's sad, but it does feel fitting, especially in the fallout of that one ficlet you shared in DMs. There's an extra twist in that Astala is better at DW than him, even if it's a different style of DW than the one passed down Adaia's line. Like i mentioned also in the DMs (sorry to the Plant trying to follow along), the fighting style is primarily dual wielding, even if it can technically also account for archery. See: Fang of Fen'Harel. Novhen always lagged behind in DW and may be a little resentful about that. Whether they both got to live peacefully in Denerim for all their days or take the Taint into their bodies, they'd work so much better as a team, but he's not able to realize that til after they're both neck deep in the Blight

(Also on the note of Fang, Novhen's probably going to let her take it when Cyrion gives it to them. He believes he has more right to it on account of Astala's not following in their mother's footsteps and her actions in your ficlet, but he knows she would make better use of it. Practicality wins out)

(Which is making me think about the conclusion of UITA again, and something i didn't mention is that after freeing the present elves, Novhen heads for the docks in the vain hope that Valendrian, Valora, and everyone else is still there. After word is brought back to Eamon's residence, Leliana meets Novhen at the dock to help, but Novhen was warned it was too late to save them and the warning was accurate. He takes some time to grieve near the docks, and they don't return to Eamon's til late)

And a crossbow 👀 ? Novhen is definitely going to invite her to practice at the shooting range with him during their stay at the Vigil. He might tease her while she's still getting used to it, but he's relearning how to shoot too. Turns out getting your shoulder torn up impacts your ability to shoot! Who'da guessed it! I just hope Ilanlas and Nathaniel aren't also at the range should he get exposed by giving her grief than missing his next shot immediately after XD

Ilanlas not being preachy will honestly go a long way. Novhen sees the Dalish as kin whose struggle is the opposite side of the same coin as the struggle of the alienage elves. Also, Cyrion's stories of the Dalish definitely romanticized them a bit. But he does get very defensive if Ilanlas ever accidentally says something insensitive about city elves as a group. If they ever get into a spat that neither side is resolving because they're both too stubborn and isolating, they're both small enough together that Astala (teamed up with Leliana?) could steal a shirt from Alistair or Sten and subject them to the Get Along Shirt

Also, Novhen does know the Slow Arrow story! I haven't read The Masked Empire yet, but given that the story came from Fel'assan, it's hard to say how known it is among the Dalish. It's entirely possible it's only known by the clans around the one he lived in and that it's a story primarily perpetuated by the Cult of Fen'Harel. That's my headcanon at least

He could regale the party with it as a campfire story, and even if Ilanlas is not all that interested in religion, it may pique his interest if he overhears a city elf sharing a story featuring Dalish gods that he himself doesn't know. I think on the story is technically an allegory for the creation of the Veil, but working with the information he has, Novhen's interpretation of the story is a very Fen'Harelist "Do not wait for the gods to solve your problem for you". I imagine Ilanlas's would be a more literal "Don't trust the Dread Wolf"

I am aware of Tamlen disappearing early on then haunting Ilanlas's dream and presumably reappearing later as a ghoul to finally be granted a death. Does Ilanlas explicitly try to invoke Fen'Harel for aid at some point? It must be quite drastic if he's taking that measure (which tbf these are indeed drastic circumstances), or is he just expecting the Wolf to pounce upon a Dalish's prayers to another god?

And as protective as Novhen may be of their family's traditions, i can easily see him offering to Ilanlas to trade tips on how to effectively sneak in the other's preferred terrain. Also, Novhen's good at traps, so he may also also offer to teach some of those skills in exchange for more arrowmaking techniques. Also also, arrows are finite! There are probably plenty of nights were they sit away from most of the group in relative silence just repairing and making arrows. This may be the best avenue for them to become friends. Leliana is also invited to arrow repair, but she has to respect the quiet time

Tbh i think Morrigan would appreciate some hardheadedness in a little kid XD Yeah sure, there'll be So Many conflicts between them and it'll be very different from training just Kieran, but she'd see something of herself in Perinella and would find her amusing. It's a good thing she's matured since Origins. Otherwise, the lessons would likely never move proceed the butting heads

Originally, i had Soris disappear around Witch Hunt/a year after killing the archdemon, but then i realized what a tight schedule that is fitting him on to not only get over his kidnapped and enslaved wife but also to fall madly in love with and marry a human. Now, it's about 9:34 or 35 that that happens, and Novhen won't reunite with Astala until Inquisition at the earliest. So it's after Soris, and Cyrion will be reacting with Soris's example in mind, for better or worse

On the matter of Soris, should we name him or Shianni as bann? Because Shianni is in most regards the better fit for the job, but she's also still a child in the alienage's (and Novhen's) eyes. Novhen starts arrangements for the alienage bannorn with Anora before the Landsmeet as part of the compromise for moving against Eamon's efforts to replace her with Alistair. She doesn't have to know that he has no actual interest in naming Al king and especially not as the sole ruler. I don't know if Astala would want to be present for the talks themselves, but he wouldn't get too deep into it without getting her opinion. Novhen's first choice for bann is Valendrian via tying it into the position of hahren, but after UITA, they may have to renegotiate that. I think a compromise between their worldstates would be if they agreed ease into a sovereign alienage, and Shianni would only be made bann once she's an adult. Or maybe they could try to keep it tied to hahren still and it's just coincidence it ends up being Shianni? Thoughts?

I know why they handled half-elves the way they did it canon, but i don't care for it. I headcanon elves just have very recessive genes to humans. There are some half-elves that need to look fully human for their stories to work like Alistair and Michel, but there also characters like Slim who don't have to pass and should get to look a little more elven. Kieran as a child needs to pass as fully human to survive the Orlesian court, but post-puberty, we allow some more elven features to show. He'll have some point to his ears by the time he's allowed to meet Cyrion

And yes! Novhen and Astala make such a good team!!! He distracts, and she attacks!!! He's got so many stun attacks under his belt for her to take full advantage of

Totally fair about the jam. Who can eat in such stressful conditions, really? Now that i think about it, I don't think Novhen would be much for eating either, but it's the thought that counts(?) He should've brought whatever stew was being served instead. That would've probably been much easier to stomach, but he can't return to that conversation now

Assigning Wynne as the B-Team's mage is a good call. It would explain why Novhen's not able to get back on his feet in time to kill the archdemon if their primo healer isn't available. Also, Pavle is not getting in a party that is going near where Irving is most likely to be considering he needs the Circle to think he's dead. I don't think faking his death would work a second time, especially if he's showing up just after the darkspawn begin their retreat

For sure on most elves not escaping. Even without the very recent memory of their neigbors being abducted by slavers, many elves don't trust ships. I imagine elves living in port cities like Denerim are taught stories of elves finding work or passage on a ship only to find out it was only a trap to enslave them. There's a culture of caution

Also, taking notes on Astala's scars, don't mind me. She looks lovely btw and deserves all the pretty dresses!

At Ostagar, consider the idea of Ilanlas rolling his eyes about being asked to watch after Astala's brother while Novhen is at the same time recalculating his plans to keep his sister's sorta-friend especially safe during the battle. (Did she ask him to? Probably not. Do they look like friends at this point? Also no. But they were Joined from the same swill which probably counts for something. Besides, he's sure Ilanlas will warm up to Astala eventually. She has that effect on people)

He'd be suspicious of Ilanlas at the first mention of her technically catching Blight from him, but once Novhen heard the specifics of how Astala was tainted, he'd let it go. Might even see a little dark humor in it. Not that it's any sort of laughing matter. Ilanlas was being an ass about the ring and should have returned it to Astala certainly. That's one thing (and he'll have some difficulty forgiving him on that account), but him giving Astala the Blight was another and completely unintended

From your latest(?) WIP Wednesday, it looks like your Wardens aren't going to be invited to the war table meeting after their Joining but instead are going to spy on it? In Novhen's canon, it's obviously not happening immediately after his Joining (several months too late for that), but he does still get invited to shadow (heh) Duncan at it. Duncan's at this point nearing his Calling and trying to groom Novhen into a potential successor for the position of Warden-Commander, so he wants him present. It could be fun to combine those two situations, so Novhen is standing silently behind Duncan when he catches one of your spies out of the corner of his eye or through the Taint. They may very well know he's spotted them too with the way elven eyes reflect light. He won't be alerting anyone else though (Trait: Mama didn't raise no snitch!)

If Sulri ran up with Novhen to the Tower of Ishal, that'll leave just Khêd and Ilanlas together on the ground. I trust them to make it to Lothering safe, but it's going to be a rough trip 😬 Between their skillsets, they can handle whatever the road throws their way, but i hope Khêd's got stronger social skills than Ilanlas. You've described him as "grumbly", yes? Not unsalvageable, but it does not bode well for this question XD

Or perhaps should all of the floater group be separated in the battle? Everyone assumes everyone is dead! They could slowly regroup as they head north, but maybe Sulri found the Tabrises' group before Khêd?

Pavle's with the Circle mages and is about to take advantage of the chaos to fake his own death. He's not a Warden, so he may have had a conversation with any of our party before the battle, but it wouldn't have gone far. Probably not Astala or Ilanlas since they get there with barely any time before the battle, but maybe one of the others. He'll meet them all in Lothering regardless. I have a wip of Novhen's recruitment of him that idk if it'll ever see the light of day, but basically, Pavle's very bad at blending in (which being foreign-nobility-turned-circle-mage will do to you)

I think meeting in Lothering is preferable to meeting in the Brecilian Forest. Besides that being a monster to navigate with a set destination in mind, let alone a moving target, there're more companion shenanigans to be found in Lothering

Radka and Khêd knowing each other before his conscription is a very fun idea! It'd also shade his perception of her a bit more cynical than most of the party. Maybe didn't work together often but they knew of each other. She's ruthless, so i don't think her fall from grace would be due to a personal lapse in judgment but rather circumstances out of her control (like the oopsie at the Proving in the Origin). If Khêd has any reservations about her, she would try to assure him that the Carta's done with her, so she's willing to throw her lot in with him instead. They both know Carta's not big on forgiveness. I don't remember enough to say when this would happen in relation to the Leske reunion, but she's willing to prove her newfound loyalties in the fight against Jarvia which is as serious as it gets down there. And the idea of her pledging herself to Khêd instead of one of the actual leaders of the party is also a fun detail i think (and +1 person who knows the sign language Sulri uses!)

She turns from a hardass to a jester the second she hits surface tho, so i imagine him having a reaction along the lines of "Oh sod it, we broke her". She may know a guy who knows a guy who knows the guy who framed Novhen, but she herself had never left Orzammar before now

I've seen corn in Inquisition. Maybe it's not too much of a stretch to say some farmers from the Dales have engineered the type used to make popcorn? All popcorn needs fulfilled in the Winter Palace 😌

Unfortunately, i don't think Novhen could get away with dancing at the ball. He's on too high a guard there. Also, Morrigan may be a disruptor, but it would be too much of a danger to both of them for her to dance with her the elf claiming to be her servant in front of all the court. She doesn't even allow Kieran to be publicly affiliated with her :( Maybe they can sneak in a private dance in her personal quarters later

Novhen is going to be very invested in Astala's tweaks to the recipes. Growing up with the same foods probably left them with fairly similar preferences, and he knows where to expect the differences

For the infiltration, he's keeping close to her. Even if he's in disguise, he's going to try to keep her grounded. It's natural for her to experience strong emotions returning here, and if she's going, this is the most important thing he can do to keep her safe. At least that's how he sees it, idk how much she'd agree

I'll say Novhen hadn't had a chance to fall back behind the group yet when Cauthrien corners them so that he can't make off, and Cauthrien will be trained on what all wanted Wardens look like. Maybe she had them flanked from behind as well? She certainly has the manpower for it. I know he's a shadow and all, but it's just more interesting if he's captured!

Novhen getting concussed is admittedly a leftover from his canon where the guards recognize him as Vaughan's murderer, which is a much bigger deal than whatever crime he committed in this AU. Maybe this is the same guardsman who originally caught him but now transferred positions, or maybe whoever this was was feeling trigger happy when they were taking them to their cells? Or! What if he tried to slink away immediately after the surrender, but someone had their eyes trained on him! And the concussion was a result of the roughing up he got for that

(Also, i forgot to put it before in relation to this stage, but he also can't escape on his own yet again on account of his being too small to pass for a human guard. That together with the concussion and also needing to get Alistair out of there was how i excused him from escaping)

If we're going purely by mechanics, we need a high-level spirit healer spell that Morrigan is unlikely to have access to or an injury kit. Narratively, the injury kit will work just fine but may take some time. He's not fighting, and he's not running, but he can at least carry himself to the exit. Slowly. Morrigan will guard him at the back of the party, so Astala needn't worry about him. She's free to set the stage for the darkspawn to easily overwhelm the tower lol

It makes most sense for both to get all shapeshifts. That said, i imagine Novhen shifting unto a mouse even when no form is necessary and sitting on Adaia or Astala's shoulder 😊 Yeah, if there's a scuffle, he'll shift back into something more combat capable, but he likes the feeling of being so small and easy-to-miss. Although especially if Adaia is with them, he could be convinced to stay in elf form if his ma's missed seeing his face

So!! I've been wanting to do this for a while, but life got in the way, so now I'm here to take that thing up again because!!! Fun!!!! This is about the relationships between OCs, and I don't want to impose anything but. Regarding how Novhen and Astala would get along:

What if they HAD grown up together? Maybe not in the same family (although, it would be fun 👀👀👀👀👀👀 they are very similar and very different from each other in different aspects. For example both are very loyal and community oriented, but also Astala is loud and boisterous while Novhen is quieter and more underhanded), but definitely the same Alienage. They'd know each others' quirks and habits. Maybe Novhen got frustrated with Astala because she'd always hide in these really obvious spots when playing hide and seek and Astala in turn would never be able to find Novhen? Maybe Novhen would at some point have stolen a plum tart for her and maybe Astala would've helped him against another kid who made fun of Novhen? Maybe, if we wanted them to meet up later during the Blight, Astala had to move away from Denerim at some point. I think she's a bit older than Novhen; maybe she got married elsewhere. Or, if not, now we gave more elves storming Vaughan's estate, which is alwats fun. I think Novhen would get to lead that one operation until Nelaros's death, because before that, stealth does seem to be the best option.

I think these two would get along well, differences aside. Astala would make an effort to lower her if needed, and having a familiar face to lean on during the Blight year would probably be a big comfort to them both. I think they'd be comfortable enough with each other to talk about the recruitment and how it didn't exactly happen willingly; they could gripe about nobles and politics; they could just. Sit in silence after Broken Circle and try and digest Sloth's nightmare. They could kill the slavers at the Alienage together!!! I think having a like-minded person from the same cultural background would help enormously.

One thing Astala probably wouldn't be on board with is the Cult of Fen'Harel. She'd let Novhen practice alright and defend him if accusations about this were levelled against him, but I think she would either have fallen out of it if she'd ever been introduced to it (it didn't save Adaia after all, so...), or never warmed up to the idea of this elvhen trickster god

These are my thoughts as far as they go. What do you think? Also I hadn't thought of it, but if you want to move this conversation to DMs, they're open ^^

(And if this doesn't tickle your fancy anymore, feel free to ignore ^^)

👀👀👀👀👀 I am eating this ask up like breakfast. Or, er, ramen. Which is the thing i am actually eating atm. But yes yes yes to all of this, i love it so much

Full response under the readmore for length, but i'm realizing now my response is mostly about them as kids 😅 Oops

[Ask Game]

The way i play with companion!Novhen, i'd assume he and Astala are probably either siblings or cousins (i waffle), except this time on their mothers' sides. I don't know Astala's exact age, but Novhen was born in *pulls out notes* Wintermarch of 9:7 Dragon. If we try to stagger them based on Adaia's death, that's probably close to a decade between them which seems a tad bit higher than it should be. We'll just have to dance around that matter

Even if Astala isn't significantly older, there's probably never a single moment where he's taller than her XD Add onto that that girls tend to hit puberty first, there's gonna be quite the height difference around age 10

But yes, their personalities go in very different directions but are probably pretty compatible, especially if given the benefit of a shared childhood! They're both very sociable, but i suspect most people like Astala more, especially authority figures. She's much less of a troublemaker, and Novhen definitely took a while to come into his own as a social mastermind. (This also would make her the ideal candidate for a distraction whenever Novhen’s a-scheming. That’s gonna do her a lot of favors when trying to get him to steal plum tarts for her XD These two are the real blight as far as anyone in the alienage is concerned XDD)

Oh, actually! If they knew each other, i can imagine pretty well him practicing with or studying Astala to get better at social situation! And clearly it worked! (A: "Ok now make an angry face... You just look like you can't find a chamberpot. You have to scrunch your eyebrows like this." *jams her thumb down his forhead*)

Astala seems to prefer her hair shorter during the Blight, but how was it as a child? Because if it were in some sort of puff, i can imagine her child-level object permanence resulting in her hiding in an empty barrel with the puff still peeking over the top! (Artist's Rendition Below)

I don’t think he’d be too frustrated with her poor stealth outside of team games at least! (If they’re partnered is another story…) He does sometimes tease her that she’s not going to be a very good criminal when she gets bigger. Idk, how would she respond to that? Because how does she feels about the fact that she's not going to follow in her mother's footsteps (or how aware of that she'd be as a child) or maybe she would retort about how she’s already bigger or something else? Definitely a lot of ways to take that one lol

But also the idea of Novhen as alienage king of hide and seek is kinda cute. He's usually the last one left (all that damn thief training), so it’s not unheard of to see a parade of Astala, Shianni, Soris, and whoever else they've wrapped into their game (which with Astala could be quite a number) turning the alienage upsidedown to find him. There's probably at least one time he gets found in the first minute, and he thinks he's going to die of embarrassment. Because of that, they almost never let him be a hider in the first round. Sometimes when he’s hiding, they'll accidentally pick up seekers who weren't even playing along the way because they want to see him knocked down a peg XD That's what happens when you win too much!

Astala probably has him beat at wrestling tho! And the game where i imagine they’re most evenly matched would be arm wrestling. As an archer, Novhen has insane upper body and especially shoulder strength, but Astala has insane everywhere strength

On the less competitive side, imagine them as dance partners as little kids ☺️ Astala’s probably the more enthusiastic one about it, but i’d imagine she could drag him into it Easy whether through blackmail or Ole Reliable (puppy dog eyes). There have to be lots of events in the alienage that call for dancing, so it’s good to have a go-to dance partner! And if they ever get a Silly Urge while dancing, the one thing that i’ve found little kids most reliable to do is spin so fast they nearly make themselves sick, and when there’s two of them spinning each other, there’s no stopping them until the centrifugal force throws them both to the ground. At least they’re having fun lol

The Cult of Fen'Harel thing makes sense. I wouldn't expect Astala to be into that. I imagine in this case that Cyrion and Adaia agreed to expose the children to both sets of beliefs, so they could choose once they got older

It's a good thing Novhen's good at keeping matters hush because otherwise Astala would likely get stuck constantly mediating between Novhen and Ilanlas on matters of religion 🤭

Tbh Novhen would slightly begrudge her for choosing the Chantry, but i don't think he'd ever let her know if he could help it. It's just not worth it, and you can't talk about that without talking about Adaia's death which nobody is excited to talk about. Still, it's a potential source of drama, esp as the politics of DA:D are winding up

Back in the present day, if the endgame configuration is one where they live in the same location (which i think could only be the case if they were both companions), Novhen would offer her once for him to educate her child/ren in the way of the Cult of Fen'Harel and/or the Vir Banal'ras fighting style, probably get denied at least on the first one, and never bring it back up. He knows she's Andrastian and also wouldn't expect her to teach them that fighting style herself (too rogue-based), but if he had permission, he'd want to at least try to expose them to their family's traditions, so they could make a choice themselves like Novhen and Astala did

And honestly, if he's present for the origin, once Nelaros dies, Novhen would more than happily hand leadership of the mission over to Astala. Stealth only goes so far, and she has first dibs on revenge #SupportWomen

And with Unrest in the Alienage! As soon as Caladrius is dead, Novhen is scampering over his corpse to pick the lock on Cyrion's cage. Doesn't even wait for someone else to pilfer the key. Astala is free to react to that little scene however she wishes, and we get the whole Tabris family reunion after

Whoever’s Warden, i imagine those two leaning on each other a lot for emotional support during the Blight because not only are they the only alienage elves in the party, they’re family (or at the least childhood friends). Once we personalize the Broken Circle dreams, they get upsetting fast. If either of them get sent into that mission (or Maker forbid both of them), they’re definitely going to need to share a blanket by the fire for a minute

EDIT: the paragraph looks like it's been eaten but also! Novhen would be very cautious about Astala's Zevran romance at first. ("Yes, Stala, he's very dreamy, but let's not forget he's only here because he was hired to kill you.") We know he's very protective, and they're both so eldest sibling-coded

[stubbedbakutoes]

Ignorance is Bliss

*TW: body image issues* (y/n) overhears Todoroki badmouthing a certain insecurity of hers in front of his friends.

pairing: todoroki x fem reader

genre: angst i guess

word count: 1.3k

masterlist

//

(y/n)’s the type of person who'll go "Holy shit I’m an irresistible human being" one moment and then she's going, "ha ha who am I kidding I've got zero attractive traits," but it’s all a part of growing up and slowly learning to accept herself, she suspected.  

She's progressively learning to love herself, because she's got Todoroki as a boyfriend, a man who’s the expert in telling her that she's "so, so perfect," and whenever Y/N says as much, she'd get a disbelieving scoff and then a list, almost, about why she's apparently so good-looking inside out whenever Y/N started to doubt herself, doubt him, doubt everything and anything.

Todoroki's the one who's been all "you're so sexy," and "I don't understand how you don't see it, baby," and "if I'm a six then you're literally off the charts". He's been the one to slowly but surely coax her into loving herself, to making her do things (like going on a diet, or to the gym) because she wants to – not for the sake of fitting into society's standards of beauty.    

One day Y/N entered his house whilst making sure that her presence remained unknown for the surprise visit to be successful. Then, the sound of some video game echoed around the house, followed by the voices of Todoroki's best friends.

"Not really, guys." She heard Todoroki scoff obnoxiously. "I mean, her legs though. Sometimes her thighs takes so much space, more than me, even when I'm manspreading since it flattens out to the size of an island, or something." He complained, and just laughed like he hadn't just said something insensitive and heartbreaking thing for (y/n) .  

Usually they'd be laughing with her – not at her – but shit happens and now they're too preoccupied laughing over her for them to have noticed her come in.

She can tolerate criticism from some strangers online or even face to face. (y/n) takes those words in her stride, beaming at them, even, as they spit out their insensitivity to her. When it comes from Todoroki, who was all cold on the outside but is dimpled grins and endless, selfless love for everyone around him – that. That she can't handle.

Y/N can't help but think if all his body positivity been a joke all along. Like a bad fan fiction, where Todoroki actually has a split personality wherein he's a massive playboy who'd lost a bet and had to be all lovey-dovey with her until a certain length of time. (y/n) hoped that in the process he saw through her flaws and fell for her, hard. But god damn, it seemed to far-fetched from how passionate Todoroki sounded while hating on her earlier.

If he did turn out to be a massive twat, then (y/n)'s made a grave mistake by falling for this asshole's cheap tricks, hasn't she? She'd been too blinded by love that she's never thought there would come a day where she would regret falling for him. Looking back at how she believed that Todoroki and her were going to last was too naive of her. This must be one of the most gut-wrenching feelings she's ever experienced. It's true when they say ignorance is bliss.

Y/N inhaled deeply. I've got to be logical about this. She contemplated, bringing a hand to her forehead. Can't just immediately jump to conclusions, right?    

She took a couple steps into the house, plastering on a grin. whilst hiding her thighs with the tote bag placed near the front porch, for some reason. With a glance to the wall clock, she realised that she's been gone far longer than she thought and that the guys he was previously chatting with are out of the picture.

"Hey," (y/n) greeted, almost nervously, before she yelled at herself internally because she's got to be all nonchalant about this, afraid of blowing up her cover. Didn't want to give her boyfriend more things to list about things he hated about her, did she?  

"(y/n)! Come here, baby." Todoroki called from the living room, head tilted back and lips immediately lifting into a grin as she came into his line of vision. He lovingly grabbed onto her hands and tugged her down to sit her on his lap like how they routinely do. But if he thinks that my thighs are big as fuck, he must also think that I'm, like, too heavy.   

So with a forced laugh, she refused his offer and sat on the sofa beside him, rushing to a rest a square pillow on her thighs as she gave him a tight-lipped smile, earning a small laugh from him.

"Cuddle." He demanded, almost, much like a greedy child, making grabbing hands towards her.   

Y/N poked her tongue out at him, "Not now," she said in a playful tone – so practiced and perfect. Normally she'd agree right away, but it's obviously different this time because she's cross with him and also doesn't want to accidentally squash him or something.    

Minutes later, he's clearly waiting for her to let her guard down and then come cuddle him. But it never came. He's frowning now, “Ok, what’s wrong?”

“What?” (y/n) asked, pulling herself out of her day dream. "Oh I’m just-”

“And don’t say you’re just tired, we’ve been together long enough for me to know there’s something bothering you.” He said, cutting her off from the usual excuse she would give to anyone.

(y/n) breathed in slowly, eyes darting to the pillow on her lap, "I, uhm. I heard you talking about me just now."  

"You were here earlier?"  

"Went in, then stayed there for awhile, 'cos I – doesn't matter. I was just a bit... I guess, hurt, is all. I'm fine now, though, honestly."  

"Why were you – " he started, then his shoulders are tensing and his eyes are widening as his eyes dart down to the pillow on her lap and he's instantly cursing. "You heard me say that thing about you – about your – fuck. Baby, I'm sorry. I'd take it all back in a heartbeat. I didn't mean it like that, I didn't mean it at all. I just — It just. I'm sorry, baby, please don't be dissapointed. I love you so much," He looked at her from head to toe, his eyes glimmering with adoration. "I love all of you. Every bit of you."  

"It's no big deal, anyway," Y/N mumbled quietly in response.    

"Ofcourse it is," Todoroki insistently shook his head and then scooted so much closer to her, literally hauling her into his lap. (y/n) choked out a squeal, trying to get out of his hold, but he held her down, hands on either sides of her hips like she's weighing nothing more than a leaf, or something. "Baby, please." His lips moved against her skin and she stopped struggling because he's so much stronger than her. "I'm so sorry. I'm a shitty boyfriend to even think that way about you, to my friends, too, but — I just." Todoroki sighed, dropping his forehead onto her shoulder.    

"This is some bullshit excuse but, but. I wanted to– pride. It was a pride thing 'cause they were saying shit like I was whipped, 'cause I kept praising you infront of them by going on and on about you being the epitome of beautiful and how I was insecure about you leaving me one day and how I don't think I'd be able to physically and emotionally cope with that. And I just... you get the gist. Fuck. Being a male is infuriating, honestly," Todoroki huffed out, pouting at the idea of his girlfriend in agony with a pained expression after hearing his insensitive words earlier.

He lifted his head up, placing a chaste kiss to her lips, "What I said – that thing about your thighs, or whatever, I don't even remember what I said 'cause they're right — I talk about you like you hung the moon and the stars and other sappy shit like that. Plus I literally find no fault with you. I love everything about you, baby. I bet I always will."  

She scoffed, then she's smiling, letting out a little laugh, this time it's genuine. I'm definitely in love with him. definitely don't regret it, either.   

[fakeloveaskblog]

Hello Rowan, I am a friend of Remus'. His other friends are good people, do not worry, they'd never hurt him. In fact I bet they, as well as me, are throughly worried about Remus at the moment… so… I am calling to say that I hope… I am sending this message to ask how he's holding up thus far?

I have many questions besides, too. But it would perhaps be insensitive if not outright disrespectful to ask them. I will… ask only one… of those questions, however. (Do not mind the way your phone screen is probably glitching right now, it is inconsequential and won't leave lasting damage.) I won't ask you to divulge any information you aren't comfortable with, but if you could tell me who this… "he" you mentioned is, I would… deeply… appreciate it.

For… legal reasons, I cannot tell you what I want the name for.

Hope to hear back from you soon. End message.

Your sudden message woke Rowan up from her accidental sleep. She quickly sat back up and rubbed the tiredness from her eyes. She'd spent all morning on call with her agent to call off all work in the near future.

"He has more than 2 friends???" She muttered out in a sleepy voice "..I hope you're right about his other friends. The Remy one has been sending a fantastical amount of cheering up memes which I guess is kinda nice"

She glanced into the living room. Remus was laying in the couch with the goblin king plushie pressed to his chest. The tv had some cheesy 80's horror movies on. His breathing was heavy.

"He's...He's uh not moving much. I'm hoping he won't pass out from dehydration or anything. I've booked a time with a doctor tomorrow so he'll get an ng tube- it's a thing used to get food and water into the stomach- tomorrow. I was really hoping the delusion about not opening his mouth would just disappear???? But nope! Just our luck!"

She let out a forced chuckle while playing with her hair to get some of the nervousness out.

"And I know the ng tube can be used to get anti psychotics into him as well and I know it would be for the best of him but I just- I just want to ask him about it first. Forcing meds into him just feels so wrong"

Rowan looked at the other question. The question about him. Her hand tangled into her hair.

"I don't....I don't know if that's my thing to talk about..."

Her shoulders tensed from anger, like every time she thought about him. It was enough to make her chest feel like it was burning. She got up and quickly closed the door to the living room so Remus definitely wouldn't hear.

"Okay. Okay. But I still think about how he would misgender my brother quite regularly even when he was around me and he knew how protective I was about that. So if he was like That around me what was he like when I wasn't there???"

She was walking back and forth across the floor with her hands turned into fists.

"I know Rem says Os just wasn't used to it since they'd started dating before Rem came out but I'd known Rem my entire freaking life obviously and I could get used to it after a few months so why couldn't he get used to it after years! And don't get me started on the excuse that his friends weren't accepting of lgbt stuff so he 'had' to misgender Rem around them. Stab them!!! Stab them until they accept it!!! Summon a dragon and fucking burn them!!!!"

She motioned with her hands as if to show you how much bullshit it was.

"Like I was already uncomfortable when I was alone with Os since he liked doing edgy gross jokes about us being twins and stupid threesomes and stuff and- Ugh! but hearing him use the wrong pronouns for my brother every other sentence didn't exactly help! Like....Bruh"

Rowan's hands shook from rage as she let out a long sigh. "I wish I'd cut his neck in two" She mumbled out through gritted teeth.

[mwolf0epsilon]

Man, thanks for your message. I’m definitely interested in diversifying my cast, but keeping motivation for me often means blocking out the voices that make it seem like a requirement to being in fandom. It’s nice to see someone say, “you’re good for doing this,” and not “you’re terrible if you don’t do this.” It’s really motivating for me.

The issue with trying to be better at something that seems like a no brainer to others, is that there's always going to be someone telling you you're not doing enough, or suck because your progress is slow.

Diversity and representation are a must. People deserve to be seen and feel like they belong, and learning about other cultures should be something people embrace with open arms and curiosity. The Book of Boba Fett was a glimmer of hope for many, and there's still obvious and unfair favouritism in regards to how it's being treated as a series (The constant struggle Tem is going through just to share a nugget of his heritage, only to be repaid by the directors being obvious asshats, speaks volumes for how hard it is for poc leads to have even a smidge of anything that's theirs to share with a wider audience). It's important for people of all backgrounds and heritages to be able to see each other, learn from each other, and respect each other. That said, some people do take time to learn new things, especially things they didn't grow up with. I understand there needs to be a period of learning, trial and error, and consistently failing and getting back up again to try again. No one is immediately perfect at any given thing. You're gonna mess up. You're gonna accidentally be insensitive. You're gonna offend someone. And you're hopefully going to learn to understand what you did wrong, what you did that hurt others, and how to not repeat it. You're going to grow as an individual and artist, and hopefully help others with that process as well. But it needs to be done at your own pace.

If you're forced into a position where you're doing something you're afraid you're not going to get right immediately (and that making a mistake will hurt/anger others), you'll likely be more predisposed to not wanting to try again. You'll fall back into your comfort zone and people will still give you hell because you stopped trying to push forward. And this leads to a cycle of "I tried and people were still horrible even if I was doing my best, so I'm never going to make a change because it's not worth it". A pretty bad outcome overall. Because it's another gateway to needless hate.

This is becoming a bit of a messy rant, so I'll end it on a more positive note: Anon, don't let people demotivate you from drawing more diverse characters just because you don't get it right the first time. Actively learn how to do better. About different cultures. Progress may start slow, but it's still progress. One day you'll look back at your first steps and feel proud that you didn't quit the marathon. And there will be someone there with you smiling and celebrating with you, even if you weren't the first one across that finish line. You tried, you did good, you're doing better next time, and it helps others find the strength to do the same.