#I honestly think it's because some of my other fandoms do have blatant ship vibes

[lost-technology]

Welcome aboard! 

How I fell in love with the Trigun franchise.

This essay ist mostly intended for those who know at least one installment of the Trigun franchise and are wondering if they should check out the others, but mostly it's about the personal journey I had with this series. It's not meant to analyze the series in any deep fashion, because I think that would take weeks or months and several rewatches/rereads.

It's just about my feelings.

I wrote this on a whim but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Consider it a love letter. Also because it is inevitable, this contains heavy spoilers, especially for Trigun Stampede, you have been warned.

Trigun Stampede was a series I was actually pretty interested in, when it was announced. A reboot of a big name that is often mentioned in the same breath as Cowboy Bebop, which I hadn't seen yet either, but everyone had some kind of big respect for it, so it mattered.

Then it was even being animated by one of the most promising studios in recent years. Studio Orange, who are the runner-ups for 3D-anime with their amazing blend of 2D-animation and CGI.

So what could possibly go wrong here? At first absolutely nothing.

The pilot episode had everyone on the edge of their seats and left most people flabbergasted. I still consider it one of the best pilots I've seen in recent years. It looked gorgeous and sold me on the main character pretty quickly.

But the main goal seemed ….not too complex..... and even a bit too…. straightforward for my taste.

An evil twin brother.

A simple good versus evil story, I thought.

Then episode 3 came along and introduced the villain doing his glorious evil deeds in an extravagant fashion. But something was off. Our main character was blamed by the townspeople, even though he meant for the best? But you couldn't even be mad at the people because they were understandably devastated? The story all of a sudden got more layers. But I didn't get how important that dilemma would become in the long run.

I didn't get it.

I didn't get how much it would make me feel…..

The next episodes I enjoyed moderately.

I was watching weekly, so I enjoyed some of them more then others. I still was a bit irritated by the plot, even if I quite enjoyed the setting.

But they were seemingly wandering aimlessly on that desert planet.

I mean, eventually Vash and Knives would have to face each other…..but I didn't get what the story was trying to do until then.

Even when Wolfwood was introduced, I still hadn't understood. He was incredibly likeable and played off with the main cast very well. His backstory was told so beautifully in episode 6. Episode 8 was another highlight for me. We were finally getting a wonderfully flashed out backstory for Vash that made him so much more rounded. It was also greatly expanding on Knives' motives.

But then the episodes after…….I didn't feel it anymore….

I don't even know why.

Maybe I fell into that seasonal anime burnout, maybe I was just down…..depressed, call it what you will….

I didn't like watching Meryl and Roberto.

The dialogues irritated me and I was just frustrated I couldn't enjoy it anymore.

But then….

Then came Vash's dream sequence.

The flower garden lightening up in a beautiful red.

Rem standing at the tree in the middle.

A little Vash running towards her.

Jumping into her arms.

Smiling.

Her arms caressing him, and him feeling the safest, the most loved he has ever been.

…and I…

I felt that too. It was like an epiphany. I finally understood the core. It was like I was blind then began to see.

It was such an overwhelming content feeling.

I saw Rem being painted as mother earth. This story was about our world.

Their world.

About humanities' exploitation of the nature, of each other.

About the human condition as a whole, about hate, if everything could be overcome, but most significantly...

…about love and peace.

In its center was Vash who embodies it all, fights for it, even if he doesn't like it, and carries his message through the world, but at the same time it's about him experiencing the greatest cruelty because of his circumstances.

But holy fuck it didn't even stop there…… The most impressive thing had yet to come. The final episode. It's never been the same for me after that.

All of a sudden this show showed all its christian inspired glory! NOT ONCE I thought about this series as christian inspired… NOT ONCE. UNTIL THEY LITERALLY SHOWED US TWO FALLEN ANGELS FIGHTING OVER THE POWER OF GOD. EVEN THOUGH WOLFWOOD LITERALLY CARRIES A CROSS THE WHOLE SHOW SYMBOLIZING HIS SINS, YEAH I WAS BLIND.

After I saw that, I saw them everywhere! The motives! Every fucking where!!! Especially in Vash.

"Even if they hunt me! I'll just run away! I'll run, run, run, and keep running as far as i have to! And when things calm down, I'll quietly settle by their side again! I'm Vash the Stampede!"

I enjoyed all that symbolism immensely. I wouldn't consider myself the most religious person, but I have been raised in a Christian household and I do want to believe in the lessons of mercy, love and charity, like Vash does. I know, I'm probably oversentimental right now, but ...in the end this franchise made me feel...it wasn't wrong to think that way.

And that's not even all the series has to offer….it's overall a philosophical playground about morality.

So there was no escaping it, I had to know more about this story now.

The next thing I did was binging the 1998 anime by Madhouse. It has a very different approach to things, but it built on the aforementioned themes in a magnificent way. The presentation of the designs and setting were a lot more Western-genre-oriented and now I think, they're even better suited to make the themes shine.

After all Stampede was more leaning into the modern sci-fi elements and mostly focusing on the main brotherly conflict and the lore surrounding it, probably due to time contraints.

This version showed us a little more of the people living on this planet, and their unavoidable struggles. Different stories about people's dependance on others and the little resources they needed to survive.

This Trigun world was more painted as a world, where the crime rate was incredibly high, everyone has to carry a gun and unnecessary duels happen everyday. A cruel place to believe in such a thing as mercy. A place where more villains actively want to break Vash and make him turn on his pacifistic ideals.

Ironically this iteration had a lot of funny moments as well, it was easier to become attached to the characters that way.

It was also a great way of filling me in on a lot of information the reboot left open or still hadn't explored.

Vash was an even more conflicted character here and accompanied with Wolfwood's inner struggles, those two make the perfect antithesis to each other and Knives. Knives in this iteration could hardly be called a character at all. He feels more like a MCGuffin, even if he still gets a minimum share of development.

In the end this anime made me feel a lot of different emotions and with all its great fitting original content managed to tell a beautiful coherent narrative with a beautiful finale that leaves everyone satisfied.

Everyone but me….because I knew there was more :D

Something was still missing here….a lot of the lore regarding the twins and history of this planet that was explained in Stampede wasn't here.

So it was time for me to get to the best part. The finished source material by Yasuhiro Nightow himself.

Trigun and especially the sequel Trigun Maximum.

Imagine it that way.

If you take the best things of both animes and mash them together, this is what you get.

That's one of the reasons those two series complement each other so well.

Oh boy, where do I begin.

This one is daaaark.

If you thought the trauma presentation and villainous encounters in the other two animes were already hard to swallow, this shit's going to destroy you. It did me. I never knew how much underlying sadness a character and I could endure. But also at the same time Vash was the same as his 98 anime counterpart, witty, a jokester, an incredible gunman sure of his capabilities, an incredibly caring hero with ideals worth following, but also a tragic hero.

"What am I supposed to do?

I don't know anymore..."

This iteration shows all of the aspects of his character the other two already had, but also a lot more...

The same with Wolfwood and Knives.

It finally establishes Wolfwood as the second protagonist he has always been, as the 98 anime does introduce him way later in ratio with the lenghth of the manga. We spend more time with him.

Although Knives has a lot more charisma in Stampede, here he has a much more flashed out motive and plan. He seems the most threatening here.

Even his followers all get the time they deserve, Trigun Maximum is where Legato Bluesummers is the craziest he will ever be!

Since this story had enough time to be flashed out, they make the journey longer and harder for all the characters, and the moral dilemmas more complex.

The attention to detail is at the highest it has ever been and the fights and action scenes are a sight to be hold, ….including gore and unsettling imagery throughout.

It works a lot with atmosphere and auras the characters radiate, it doesn't overexplain anything and has some of the best one liners I've ever read, some of them the anime adaptations obviously used as well.

The scale feels enormous by the end, so much so that it overwhelmed me emotionally sometimes…..

If Trigun Stampede really plans to follow this at least a bit, we are in for a visual treat.

But even if they succeed and make it their own, which they, in my opinion already did, the sheer amount of missing content that needed to be adapted to give it the same emotional debth as the manga seems just too great for just another cour… Whatever happens I will be there and support it.

I also have a few things I only briefly want to mention.

Meryl and Milly are awesome. They don't have a big role to play, but it's sufficient. Love them.

The action scenes and visual presentation in all of the iterations, but mostly in the manga, are nuts. The weapons and fighting choreographies are crazy and inventive, thus really enjoyable and infectious.

Legato is the best villain in this story, sorry Knives, of course you're doing well too.

No, I don't ship Vashwood, but I understand why some would.

And lastly, over the studiing of this franchise I grew incredibly attached to Vash. He is probably one of the best protagonists I've ever watched growing.

By now, I have watched Trigun Stampede three times, in sub, german dub and english dub. I have watched Trigun (1998) two times, in sub and in german dub. And last week I have finished reading Trigun Maximum the second time.

In the span of five months.

It never got boring…. And I don't see me letting go of this series anytime soon.

Thanks for reading!

[writinglizards]

Fanfic Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @drowningbydegrees​!!!

How many works do you have on Ao3?

64, not counting the works I’ve anoned, for a variety of reasons.

What’s your total Ao3 word count?

518k.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Between the Fights (I Still Need You)

This was my first fic in the witcher fandom??? And still the most popular??? We all really love our post mountain angst, don’t we?

Tell Me Honestly--How Could I Love Somebody Else?

AKA the “Jask flirts with Geralt when he’s drunk” fic. I desperately want to do a redux on this trope, it’s so much fun to write.

5 Time Geralt Deliberately Botched a Hunt so Jaskier Would Touch Him (and 1 Time He Didn’t Have To)

God. This is probably one of my favorites, honestly. Only time I’ve really done a proper 5+1.

Sorry (When You Leave Me)

AKA the mpreg fic. I’m still baffled why yall like this one so much??? It was 100% written in a fit because I’d just finished an mpreg fic that was...uh...not...great...and was overcome with “I could do that better” so I did. And I haven’t been able to stop since, ugh.

All We Need (One Last Chance)

Corvo fic, my beloved!!! I still have another idea for an adjacent fic, I’ve just gotta...find the time. Corvo vibes and oranges, anyone?

Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I used to. Now I generally don’t? There are so many of you and only one of me, unfortunately. If I responded to everyone it’s all I’d ever do lmao.

What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

Genuinely, I have no idea. Most of what I write is happy ending because I like the catharsis of happy endings. Personally I’d probably say All We Need (One Last Chance) is the happiest, though. They’re both retired and in love!!! What more could you want?

What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Oh, this feels like an even split between The Last Sense to Go and There isn’t Actually. On the one hand, main character death. On the other hand, extremely painful one sided relationship in which the other party is completely oblivious to the other’s feelings.

Do you write crossovers?

Not??? Exactly??? I think the closest is the daemon fic I did. I like taking traits from other genres and throwing them in, but not full on crossovers.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

I’ve never gotten blatant hate on Ao3, but I did when I was on fanfiction dot net as a teen just getting started, yes.

Do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Yes, and just about everything. Yall know this.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yep! I did a few train fics with friends a while ago and I’ve got a co-fic in the works with another friend we haven’t touched in awhile, but will eventually be done...some day...

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

I am capable of one focus at a time, so right now? Geralt/Jaskier.

What’s a wip that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

RIP to I Said Some Things I Wish I Hadn’t (I Wish That We Could Talk About It). Maybe someday, but no time soon, that’s for sure.

What are your writing strengths?

Lengthy, long winded nonsense.

What are your writing weaknesses?

Short and concise nonsense.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I am not bilingual enough for that, but it is VERY cool!! I love when others do it.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Naurto, as a wee baby middle schooler.

What’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

Probably Take Everything from Me (Take Time). I wrote it for Alex for her birthday but it was genuinely one of the most delightful stories to tell. I had a great time writing it.

Tagging:

@greyduckgreygoose @contemplativepancakes @witcher-and-his-bard @julek

No pressure, only if you want to! <3

[akampana]

im the anon who asked for obscure artoria ships - tysm for answering! i knew you liked kojiro/artoria from early tpof, but ozymandias/artoria was unexpected! ozytoria sounds interesting from the way you describe it - ive always sort of seen it as an almost-giltoria dynamic minus the hostility and antagonism. i think that modern au idea sounds incredibly sweet 😭 honestly i like the idea of them but there is virtually no fancontent OR canon content of them (besides that one lartoria comment in ozy's interlude?) so its a half-built ship for me as of now. and yes, please talk about kojiro/artoria for the ship game! i'd love to see more of your thoughts on them. on nobu/artoria - YES nobu is incredibly beautiful its crazyyy. i got into shipping them because of mastoria/nobu in koha-ace, interactions in fgo and a user's thoughts on them here on tumblr (you can find them if you search up nobutoria).

Hi, @glowingarchive! good to see you in the inbox. :)

Oh, no way, really? Thought I was being subtle with Kojirou apparently not XD. And your thoughts on Ozy and Arturia, I totally agree. If you want, I made art for them a while ago, but didn't end up posting it.

*cracks knuckles* Alright, let's go.

Kojirou Sasaki X Arturia Pendragon - SHIP IT

What made you ship it?

This is gonna sound strange, but do hear me out.

My love for this ship evolved from the first time it caught my attention, but to be completely honest it all started with another ship: Diarturia.

After re-watching and re-reading FZ, FSN, and UBW, something kept coming up for me. We all know FZ is an incredible prequel sequel, created with stunning precision to fit the already existing narrative, which is why, even when consuming the series as a whole based on the timeline of events, Arturia's character still makes sense.

Their expert craftmanship made the fact that the 5th HGW is Saber's second attempt a lot clearer. Why? because it brings to the table a theme that was already there and yet not too fleshed out:

Deja vu. Or, in Saber's case, a double deja vu.

For example, this line:

Before Zero, it only means 'oh cool so she's fought spearmen before.' but after Zero, you finally know exactly who she's talking about.

But why do I say it's a double deja vu for her?

Let's begin with the obvious one. The parallels between Cú and Diarmuid are pretty clear. Like you just know Zero Lancer's character was patterned after the existing Lancer, but given another purpose. There are gifsets all over Tumblr that illustrate their similarity too.

BUT Cú and Arturia (ooh it kills me to say this) only just fall short of the borderline flirtatious "I wanna have a glorious fight to the death with you because you're worthy" energy. Furthermore, they meet only briefly.

So where did they get that?

Kojirou bloody Sasaki

More below the cut.

It's parallel time. (there are a few more but hnggg tumblr limits)

THEY PROTECC. THEY ATTAC. BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY THEY WANNA FIGHT HER BACK.

No, but seriously. I don't think this is a coincidence. Diarmuid must have been some sort of amalgamation of Kojirou and Cú, the best of both. And that is also why the previous deja vu point hits harder.

Honestly, when that realization came, I was totally not expecting it. I was supposed to be looking for Diarturia crumbs and instead I found myself another whole-ass cookie. And one that unjustly has barely anything in the fandom, even if we have more straightforward lines like this:

Which is, by the way, one of the answers to the next question.

What are your favorite things about the ship?

So, now that you know how I got into shipping this, unorthodox as it seems, I think it's time to move past the parallels and into more solid ground.

Unlike other relationships that are more ambiguous and rely on potential, Kojirou's attraction to her is so in your face, it's refreshing.

Their banter is *chef's kiss*

It's only overshadowed because he so quickly became a gag servant, and ofc because the focus of the anime was Shirou. (Why did they do him like that though, he's actually so cool??? I mean, did Saber truly even beat him?? like???)

Saber comments on his skill with the sword, going so far as to say he outclasses him in swordsmanship. bruh, you can't take that lightly

They both see each other as worthy opponents. She literally tells him he's worthy of her full attention.

Kojirou sees her as the fulfillment of his wish, and Saber bloody actually gets to grant him the fight of his 'life' (FSN and UBW, not HF ;n;) when she couldn't do the same for a certain former rival. She even promises their fight's resolution because it is so important to her to see it through (UBW).

Kojirou really wants that fight, and fairly, without interruption. Which is why in FSN he goes as far as to stop the fight before Rider can spy on Saber's sword. And then later on, literally tells Shirou and Rin he doesn't give a shit about them, he just wants to fight Saber.

When he calls her out on holding back, especially since they're both running out of time, she apologizes and reveals Excalibur so they can fully face each other at full strength. UGH THE CHEMISTRY HGNGNGNGNGN. Also, since he knows this is their last fight, he's giving off "look at me, focus on me, don't think about anything else" vibes.

Also, man, Kojirou Sasaki really be out here serving up blatant eye smex every time they share the screen I swear to god.

Like let me give you a line from UBW 23, 19:08, right after Assassin notices she's damaged his katana

Arturia: Our positions...Assassin...are you... (that's what the subs say but Saber says "kisama" so I read it as "you bastard")

Kojirou, smirking: Is it wise to pull your blows? In this position, I could send you flying.

*Kojirou steps forward pressuring their locked swords and causing her to shuffle back a bit*

Arturia: Is that why you deliberately entered my range?

Look, Sasaki, we all see what you're doing, ya ain't slick.

Taken out of context and heck even *in* context that's sexual tension right there.

You better bet if he had the chance he'd be sticking that long-ass sword in-

Is there an unpopular opinion you have about your ship?

It's...baffling how unknown this ship is like...look at all that material. I mean of course it's going to be trounced in popularity by Shirou x Saber, GilArt, and Diarturia , but it should at least have accumulated enough of a following like Cuturia, for example.

Thank you for the ask! Hope you enjoyed the read as much as I enjoyed constructing this. :) feel free to share to gain more fans mwahahahahah join the dark side we have cookiessss

[subjecta5newtella]

thoughts on newtmas :) go on :) i’m listening :)

sami rly said ok time for violence. this is going to be so long sorry everyone.

if we’re talking newtmas itself as a ship in itself, outside of any other influence (and specifically in the movie version, which is generally what people are talking about), I think it’s a good ship. I would have to be the most unobservant motherfucker alive to not see what people see in it, and I am not, in fact, the most unobservant motherfucker alive. it’s a good dynamic with good chemistry and realistically I think if I’d started with the movies rather than the books, I would’ve gone all in for it.

however. I personally am incapable about talking about it in isolation.

I realize from that segue it sounds like I’m about to lead into some grand moral point, but mostly I just liked how dramatic it sounded. anyway. I feel like I need to start with a disclaimer that the easiest, simplest part of this is that you tend to get attached to your first ships in a fandom, as well as your initial feelings about the characters. obviously you can change your mind about any of those things, but it does stick with you. if we’re going to be kind and skip my internalized homophobia era (please be kind), I shipped thominho and nalby because that’s what was big at the time. I also just... did not like book thomas very much, so I wasn’t about to ship him with my favorite character.

(complete and utter tangent: it’s interesting to me that people read the books now and overwhelmingly see newtmas. I recognize that every time I start a sentence with “it’s interesting that” it automatically sounds shady, but i genuinely just love Analyzing. anyway some of it’s definitely people seeing the movie first or having fandom content as a first exposure even in passing, all of which are valid ways to engage, but I do kind of find it fascinating when people talk about book!newtmas as some massive presence because then... theoretically we all should’ve seen it pre-movies? the ship existed, usually among people who hardcore multishipped, but it wasn’t anything like it is today. not at all to say that reading it like that is invalid, it’s just interesting to me the way some people talk about that interpretation, rather than the interpretation itself)

anyway. with that all out of the way, i do have some actual issues with newtmas, although it really doesn’t have anything to do with the characters or the ship itself. these are things that surround the ship and affect my feelings about it, meaning that I never bought in despite, like I said, Seeing It. my main issue with it is how much the roles of other characters have been reduced to create the ship in its current form. I’ve talked at far too much length about the way minho was adapted and honestly will probably talk about it more, because that’s the big one to me (that post can be found here, for those who don’t keep up with every rant I’ve ever gone on for some reason). I will not go so far as to say that’s required reading to fully understand this post, but I would recommend it since I don’t want to just repeat myself. so much of newtmas being the major ship feels like it’s predicated on minho not being there and not having anywhere near as strong a relationship with thomas and newt as he did in the books, and that will never sit right with me.

newt’s relationship with alby is his other most significant dynamic outside thomas and minho, and i feel like it might be surprising to hear me say this, but i get why that one was reduced for the movie. there’s only so much time in the film, so you want to focus on the characters who are going to make it past the first one. I do have a problem here, but it has more to do with dashner and with some fandom bullshit. with dashner, i think the crank palace is the worst of it (I could’ve just stopped that sentence at “I think the crank palace is the worst” but whatever). since all my rants lead back to each other, I’ll link the relevant one here, but the general gist is that my biggest problem was that newt does not seem to have any more of a post-swipe past than thomas does despite theoretically having two more years of memories. given that fact, I don’t know about you, but I would kind of expect alby to be more of a presence in his consciousness. that’s true of pretty much any of the original gladers, but newt and alby are clearly very close in the first book, and again, alby saved his fucking life. he’s literally mentioned once. dashner prioritized the newt/thomas dynamic so much that newt seemingly had no meaningful relationships with anyone else. tcp isn’t immune to treating minho badly either; like I said in that post, it sounds like newt read the wikipedia page on minho. is any of this the fault of the ship itself? does this change anything that came before it? no, but the whole thing feels massively disingenuous, and also kind of disrespectful to people who actually, like, gave a shit about the other characters. also, the way he’s retconning makes me real nervous.

the other part, like I mentioned, is the fandom more than any of the actual content. I’m aware that part of this is just a statistics game and also that’s it’s not representative of all newtmas shippers, but most of the alby bashing I’ve seen comes from newtmas people. it’s... baffling to me, honestly. what’s the point in putting down a ship being kept alive by me and like 3 other people? what do you gain by misrepresenting a character to the point of maliciousness when you could easily just not engage with them? again, I know it’s not everyone and it doesn’t have anything to do with the ship, but I’d be lying if I said things like this don’t color my perception. if someone goes out of their way to put down a ship I like, I’m not really gonna want to associate myself with their ship. I’m gonna cling to my own harder out of spite, actually.

also.... okay. so I peaced out to go do other shit between earlyish 2015 and mid 2019. and it was very weird to temporarily leave the fandom while the two main (in my recollection at least, which could be biased by who i was friends with) mlm ships each included one of the explicitly non-white characters, and come back to find it almost entirely dominated by white boy/white boy... like. I don’t wanna make a statement as simple as “the fandom is racist” because a) it’s not my place to say that, b) if we want to go into that, there are other examples of fandom racism where it’s Blatant and there really is no excuse, whereas this is a bit more complicated imo because c) like. that’s the dynamic the movies gave us. the movies focused very heavily on the newt and thomas dynamic, so of course that’s what the fandom is going to focus on. there’s a lot to say there, but that’s a different issue. it does.... still contribute to the bad taste in my mouth, though, and also contributes to me feeling like I need to keep those ships alive. it’s not about who has the Most Progressive Ship, I just feel weird about the particular shift I’ve seen here.

on a note that sounds less like I’m leveling accusations, New Relationships just aren’t my vibe. you look at my ao3 and it’s like. friends of many years to lovers. established relationship. friends to lovers to exes and back again. just from a dynamics perspective, there are other ships that are more interesting for me to explore. there. this is a lighter reason.

idk overall I don’t wanna sound like I’m on some Moral Crusade here, even though i know some of my points made it sound like that. this is really just me putting all of my thoughts that I can currently round up in one place in order to... idk, explain myself? and like it’s stupid that i feel the need to explain myself, but I know it’s weird not to ship it at this point, and I know if I did I would have so much more content to choose from and a much wider audience for my own content. there’s just baggage there thats entirely separate from the ship itself, having seen the shift and knowing what had to change in order to center newtmas. I’m not trying to sound like I’m better than anyone; I just think maybe I have a different perspective on things having been here for long enough to qualify it as a new mental illness, and that’s ultimately why I feel the way I do.

[itsallavengers]

this is a weird ask but here goes. i'm not a peter parker fan - he's great in the comics but mcu peter isn't really a character i enjoy. i know you're not so much of a pepper fan (which is fine, i like her but everyone can have their own opinions) but i know there are some people in this fandom who don't think that's the case - like some of the asks you've got regarding pepper. there's so much pressure to fit in with everyone's opinions and i admire that you haven't. what are your thoughts?

For me, honestly, I hate fandom policing. Hate it with a passion. People saying who/what you should and shouldn’t like, people bullying and harassing people for liking certain ships or NOT liking certain ships,,,, it’s all just such idiocy to me. Sometimes u don’t need a Woke Reason to not like a character. Sometimes u just don’t vibe w them. Something that irritates me HUGELY in fandom is how fans of ships and people will do EVERYTHING in their power to turn those who don’t like what they like into bigots or racists or sexists or whatever, simply because they don’t appreciate their faves enough and it makes them bitter lol. In reality, it’s... just.... not that fucking deep. At All. I’ve had literally dozens of anons and even previous mutuals calling me misogynistic for disliking/ being ambivalent toward pepper or vageuing me abt being ‘dissappointed in me for not seeing my own internalised misogyny’ (yes this was said by a mutual lmfao),,, and I never fucking understood why. A) it only lessons the seriousness of the statement meaning less people will care when there is ACTUAL misogyny present, and b) it just makes you look fucking ridiculous. ‘If you don’t like this female character you’re automatically sexist! i don’t make the rules sweetie!’ like. Well u quite clearly do lmao.

Like.... right now My Stan Brain is going ‘GIRL HOW THE HELL DON’T U LIKE PETER HE’S THE BEST BOY IN THE WORLD’ but my rational brain is just... chill. Aight. You do you? Some people just don’t ever find appeal in characters. That’s whatever. And some people will want different things in the plot, because their priorities are different. For instance, wanting Bucky to be the next captain america is, to me, dumb-- but to a bucky stan who’s read some comics that include bucky!cap, I guess it’s a valid thing to want! But the amount of posts ive seen where people declare ANYONE who wants buckycap to be a ‘blatant racist’ is just.... boggling. Like??? Let people have different opinions/ desires! That’s the whole point of fandom! you create what you wanna see babey! I do wonder whether some people on here ever go outside and interact w the real world and have actual convos with people who have different beliefs/ opinions/ political views lol. Do you just refuse to communicate with anyone who disagrees with you? Are you so high and mighty and up your own arse that you genuinely believe you have the right to decide whether someone’s character preference/ plot preference makes their entire personality bigoted? just fucking go outside and have a conversation with someone who isn’t on Woke Twitter for once. You will probably learn A LOT about sharing space w other people

[starswrit-archive]

ooc;

thanks so much to the people who have reached out to me today. i really appreciate it more than you know, and i’ll reply to each of you soon to thank you personally. <3 i have a lot on my mind as far as writing and rping in general, which i need to get out somewhere. so, i’m dumping it here. it’ll be under the cut and it’s more for my own sanity/need to vent, so...you don’t need to read it. what is important, is that i’m taking a break. i’m not sure if it’ll be a day or until next week. maybe i’ll be posting tomorrow, i’m not sure. i’ll be back after a few days at most, but i need to take care of myself a bit. hope everyone is well. ^^

i’ve been rather absent on all of my blogs the past few months, posting sporadically but always checking them to message people back ooc. i said that the reason for that was my recent illness, which is true. however, there’s been more to it that made me slow to return and write at all. something happened today that was sort of a culmination of a lot of negative emotions i had been stowing away, and they hit me all at once. shane, in particular, has been amazing about letting me talk through it, and i can’t thank her enough for that.

most of it stems from a lot of rejection and feelings of inadequacy, whether it’s in a fandom or just in a one-on-one basis. i’m someone who will try to reach out to people about ships or threads ( or i was until more recently ). i know a lot of people say they’re shy and don’t want to be a bother, so i got in the habit of reaching out first, whether that’s by asking if they’d like to plot, expand our muses’ relationship, or even just being the first to follow. in the past year, hardly any of my efforts have worked. a majority of blogs in the fandoms i rp in never follow me back even though they follow back friends of mine. people i try to talk to say they’re interested in rp, but either ghost me or leave me to do all of the work, thus making me feel as though they aren’t interested. which they’re free to do. everyone should do what makes them feel good and comfortable on their own blog. but after it happens over and over and over and over again, you start to wonder if you’re the problem. but i don’t know what it is that i’m doing or how to fix it. i appreciate the people i am writing with and who reached out to me first so much as i’ve gotten to a place of feeling anxious now myself. maybe it seemed small to you, but it meant a lot to me, and i’m sure to others you’ve done the same for.

people particularly are scared to ask about shipping, so i started asking people who posted about wanting ships if they were interested, primarily muns i was already writing with or had spoken to ooc. i’ve done this, i want to say, at least 10 times in the past year and been told no every time except for twice. people aren’t obligated to ship with me, and i’d never expect that. but to have multiple people posting asking for ships, only for them to either say no when you respond ( and then stop talking to you even though you say that you’d love to continue platonic things, and you lose someone you really liked writing with ), or say “we can see what happens” but will jump straight into ships with other people they barely know without any build-up, wears on you. such blatant lack of interest makes me wonder what it is that i’m doing that maybe makes me come across as someone they don’t want to try that with.

rejection in life is inevitable, and i accept that. and i’m not angry at the people who turned me down. but i feel like i must either a) write muses people have no desire to ship with or b) write my muses in a way that’s “unshippable.” i don’t know what it is. i want to change things so that i can explore ships with my characters and not rely on the same two people for ships, but i don’t know what to work on. i’m stuck.

even in rp servers, i’ve had this happen countless times the past year. people ic and ooc will blatantly hate on my characters or refer to them as undesirable, even if it’s canon that they’re viewed as attractive. or just flat out ignore that they exist. i feel like i must....write my muses ugly? idk. but that’s what ended up happening today, except a writer took their hatred of my muse personally and i guess disliked me? and posted some really hurtful and embarrassing things publicly in the server. it was like having someone finally say that i wasn’t imagining it and that i really am doing something that makes me or my muses, or both, so inherently unlikable. 

maybe it’s all just been bad luck and bad timing. but all of these things building up consistently make me feel like it’s me, and there’s something wrong with me.

i know i’m a slow writer. i understand that can be frustrating. but i’m around ooc posting, and try to reply to people i actively speak to as much as possible ic. i was actually getting quite good about getting through my drafts each day on this blog and my kuroo blog about a month ago. but my self-esteem has taken such a nosedive that i find it more of a chore to do them now, because i feel bad, almost, subjecting people to writing with me. because i feel there must be something wrong with me or my writing or my muses. or all three.

i honestly hope no one read all the way through this, omg. it’s really embarrassing to me to be having this issue and feeling like i’m whining about it. my worst fear is people thinking i’m trying to guilt them into deeper interactions or ships, which is NEVER what i want. if it’s only coming from obligation, it’s not fun or good for either side. i just...genuinely feel like i need to know what i’m doing wrong before i can feel good about rp again. maybe i just have a vibe that people don’t like and there’s nothing i can do. i’m not really sure.

anyway. please tell me no one read this rambling mess. i’m going to delete it either tonight or tomorrow because i’m sure i’ll feel stupid about posting it, but for now? i think hitting that post button will be cathartic, because these are feelings and doubts and fears i’ve been hoarding for so long.

[avelera]

Maggie analyzes Voltron Season 3, episode 1...

--

Including analysis of Prince Lotor’s introduction:

So far this episode’s opening is  a bit heavy on the exposition and telegraphing of what everyone has been doing and thinking since Shiro went missing. There’s also been a couple of awkward transitions of dialogue like “oh, btw, how is that main plotline going??” non-sequiturs when random people ask why the paladins can’t perform their emotional plotline - which is form Voltron/find Shiro.

That being said, I’m actually overall ok with all that. It really is the difference between adult and children’s programming where we need to be a lot clearer about what everyone is thinking and feeling, in my writing class it was basically summarized as the need to use “signposts” more in children’s fiction to guide the audience through what they’re supposed to be thinking and feeling about all this. This is in contrast to adult programming, which puts a greater emphasis on allowing the adult viewer to draw their own conclusions when presented with the more subtle actions and thoughts of the characters. 

That being said, this is also a first episode of a new season, which means they need to catch people up after several months away, and get everyone up to speed as quickly as possible. I’ve seen shows for adults that were far more awkward at the start of a new season when it comes to the reminder info-dumps. So actually Voltron is doing a very good job given its constraints.

What got me thinking about this was the “palace intrigue” scene where Galra Whathisname “He clearly isn’t going to matter because his character design isn’t interesting or distinct enough” decides to have a “secret” meeting in a public stadium to solicit his fellow officers to join him in a coup. The dialogue is painfully on the nose as he lays out a children’s version of a palace political plot, but because I eat plotlines like this up with a spoon and some whipped cream it was actually instructive to see how a children’s show introduces the idea of complex political backstabbing by having the characters be as blunt about their intentions as possible.

That conversation also gave an interesting, if blatant, opportunity for an info dump about Prince Lotor. Lotor has been a subject of controversy since he was announced, since there’s such a broad range of possibilities on the kind of person he could be. He could be even more evil than Zarkon, a sort of Ramsay Bolton of sadism, or he could be a total good guy who instantly aligns with everything the Paladin good guys believe (the latter seeming less likely since it prevents us from having a character arc). Every shade of gray in between was possible, and the fandom tied itself into knots with speculation. 

During the Palace Intrigue dialogue we learned a lot of details very quickly:

- Lotor is a political outlier - specifically, he stands at odds with the more warlike and conservative Galra planning this coup. He has liberal views of racial purity which are not limited to pureblood Galra, and often allows planets to rule themselves. So, he’s being set up to be a good guy, or at least a lighter shade of gray. 

Every since the Blade of Marmora was introduced, a lot of things have started to make sense in the VLD universe. Like with Avatar: the Last Airbender’s Fire Nation, we have an “evil” nation that has taken over a diverse world. However, since the bad guys aren’t zombies or otherwise mindless monsters, we probably can’t commit genocide in a children’s show in order to get rid of them all and free the universe. Which means there must be good Galra out there to whom the good guys can hand over the original Galra territories after the other worlds are freed. The Blade of Marmora was our first hint of this sort of schism existing within the Galra Empire which allows for a happy ending with Good Galra ruling. It adds a shade of complexity to the Galra which is an opportunity for drama - they must fight enemies from within as well as the paladins.

- Lotor is a half-breed, but most Galra don’t know this. 

Lotor was a half-breed in the original Voltron show, and that’s hinted at with the note that his closest officers are also half-breeds. So, it’s likely he is as well, but this fact is hidden. This likely means Haggar is in fact his mother, and since her true origin as Altean is hidden, Lotor’s must be as well (which also, interestingly, means Galra and Alteans can interbreed). 

This also sets up Lotor to be Keith’s foil, at least for a time. Without Shiro, Keith has clearly been set up as the show’s main character, which means the new introduction of a villain is going to be someone who opposes him but also mirrors him. In my opinion, Lotor is being set up as more of a “Zuko” villain, he’s going to fight the Paladins but mostly because he’s been told to and as he gets to know them better their differences will decline until, most likely, he ends up as an ally or at least a sympathetic enemy. Which brings me to the next observation:

- Lotor presents himself as honorable and representing the best qualities of the martial Galra culture. 

Lotor is a fighter. In his display in the stadium, he announced himself as someone who won’t stab you in the back, but he will cleverly stab you in the front. He doesn’t just confront Galra Whatshisname about his intended coup in private, even though he he already knew about it, and instead challenged him in a public place in a way designed to win the crowd and loyalty. So, Lotor’s a tactician of the mind as well as of warfare. We know he’s a warrior, he wants to expand the Empire but he does so in a way that lets people rule themselves, implying that he sees this manner as more efficient anyway (whether or not he sees it as morally better). 

So he’s presenting himself as someone who holds to the original “values” of the Galra Empire, its raison d’etre, which have since been corrupted by absolute dominance and power. The Galra couldn’t have expanded as far as they did if they didn’t at least seem like the good guys at first, which means they had a national myth they told themselves and their subjects about how their Empire spreading was a good thing, and I think Lotor buys into that mindset and still operates with it, even as many more jaded and cynical Galra including Zarkon are really just about the power and have no altruistic beliefs in their Empire anymore.

Edit: Ok I had to edit this a bit after finishing the episode. Lotor probably has a cynical view of the original Empire’s expansion. So, he may on some level believe that loyalty is a better way to expand the empire, but he may just see that as efficiency too. Either way, for practical reasons he’s a more reasonable despot than Zarkon, which is at least a little bit of an improvement?

So basically: Lotor is everything a Good Imperial Galra can be at this stage of the show. He’s still opposed to the Paladins because he’s still a wiling agent of the Empire’s expansion, but he can mostly likely be talked down from this eventually, unlike Zarkon. He’s probably being set up to rule the “Good” Galra Empire in the future OR to be the Black Paladin, albeit temporarily. He’s clever and devious too, which is something of a gray virtue, but at the moment he’s using it to defeat the REAL bad guys which are Galra hardliners, so I’d still say he’s set up to be a Good Imperial Galra, even if he is somewhat two-faced.

Lotor’s speech confirms pretty much his entire worldview: being overly aggressive is a weakness that is costing the Empire. This is his character’s opening mission statement - it allows him to be an adversary without being a monster. He’s still an aristocrat though, he has benefited from the system, and he speaks in elevated tones. He’s clever and devious, not above manipulating public opinion through grandstanding and we’re not entirely sure yet what his deeply held beliefs are. 

Actually, he could just as easily be the foil to Allura, he talks like her and looks quite a bit like her too. He’s clearly inherited some of the Altean skill at diplomacy, which he uses to blindside his more blunt Galra political enemies. An interesting  and formidable combination of skills.

However, he’s not naive, he doesn’t keep potential traitors around. So, he’s clever, devious, and two-faced. He’s got some things to learn to be a good guy.

His followers are good guys:

- They have a cat - pets are quick visual shorthand that people are good guys in any fiction medium. 

- They’re half-breeds, which means they’re probably not Galra hardliners.

- They’re women! Honestly, they’re the first women we’ve seen on the Galra side besides Haggar. Which implies that Galra don’t have their own women, maybe? All the women are half-breeds? I’m not sure but it’s something I’ll keep an eye out for.

A couple final notes:

- I was totally wrong. I thought the Galra Keith fought was his own mother, but I guess people were right that it really was Lotor. Damn I hate being wrong.

- I expect a ton of Keith/Lotor stuff guys. He’s giving off a serious Sesshomaru vibe, he’s going to be shipped with everyone.

- If they don’t put Allura in the Black Lion I’m going to be seriously peeved. 

[polyamorousparson]

@abominableobriens tagged me for an author self-rec ask meme (so many good ships, damn)

Since this is my check please blog, I’m only gonna do my check please fic here.  I’d include blue neighborhood ‘verse, but since it’s not all posted yet, I’m going to leave it off the five for now.

“Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you’ve written, then pass on to at least five other writers (◠‿◠✿)”

1) midnight whisperings. (AO3, rebloggable on tumblr), Bitty/Jack/Kent (Bitty/Jack and Jack/Kent polyamorous V)

Jack feels places in his bones. He always has, before he had a camera in his hands to crystallize moments, to try to capture some small measure of what a place means on film. He doesn’t know how else to process places than to remember them as layers of feelings and sensations built up over time.

But making sense of how Kent Parson feels is a complicated process.

For me, this was one of those kind of wring yourself dry fics that came out of nowhere.  I really, really am very fond of it, though.  It’s a pretty introspective fic, focused a lot on dealing with complex feelings and with the way time changes things, but I’m proud of the way the words flow together.

2) when the full moon turns white (that's when i'll come home). (AO3, tumblr), Dex/Nursey

Nursey hasn’t been a werewolf for all that long, and while he knows he can keep most things under wraps, he doesn’t even always trust himself.

That’s what the rope is for, more than anything. For his own peace of mind.

Every fandom needs a Teen Wolf-style werewolf AU with full moon bondage adventures, right?  I’m pretty sure that’s definitely a thing.  Anyway, I really like the opening to this fic, and I think I achieved the vibe I was going for.

3) down by the water. (AO3, tumblr), Holster/Ransom

“It doesn’t even make sense,” Holster had protested on the drive over. It was an empty protest, and he didn’t pursue it. After all, the Niagara Falls trip is sacred. Sure, they may both be living in an apartment in Boston together, now, but it’s Canada’s turn.

Ransom conceded a Tim Horton’s trip and agreed to an IHOP one in exchange for the longer drive, because he’s a good boyfriend.

This was just some nice fluffy Holsom going on their annual Niagra Falls date.  If I ever wrote sequels I’d write the proposal that’s inevitably gonna happen there in the future, but I am terrible and rarely write follow-up fics.

4) i don't know you (but i want you so bad). (AO3, tumblr) Bitty/Kent

Bitty knows better than to think that everyone is what they seem. Bitty’s used to taking people with a grain of salt. He’s from the South, where there isn’t a soul without a passive-aggressive bone in their body. Everyone keeps their skeletons in the closet, and family business stays family business unless someone goes and runs their mouth. Or until the neighbors come snooping, which they always do.

Bitty isn’t naive enough to think that Kent Parson is all quiet smiles and shiny sharpie signatures.

This fic is what happens when you listen to Songs About Jane (specifically, Secret) by Maroon 5 too many times in a row.  This fic is important to me because Bitty wrestles with something that I think a lot of fic doesn’t have the space to capture.  He’s a semi-closeted southern boy who was bullied back in Georgia for being small and not traditionally masculine-coded, aka probably largely for being a Suspected Gay.  He’s probably never felt wanted in his entire life, not in a way that is blatant and open and something he can process.  And that’s a very overwhelming thing.  Feeling wanted for the first time.  Especially by someone he finds objectively attractive.  Especially by someone he has very mixed and muddled impressions of.  It’s hard to sort through.

5) naked sunday. (AO3, tumblr) Lardo/Shitty

“You’re gonna get naked aren’t you,” Lardo said. Her eyes weren’t so sharp as they usually were after smoking a joint down to the roach, but she’d heard the rumors about Shitty’s penchant for nudity. Probably from Jack, honestly.

“Ch’yeah,” Shitty said. “Once I can feel my fingers enough to deal with buttons.”

Trans man Shitty and Lardo getting a soft naked morning together is important to me.

I’m tagging @yoursummerfrost , @queerlyalex , @rushingsnowy , @dexsnursey , @mighty-alphalpha, and whoever else wants to do it.

[elizabethrobertajones]

12x13 watching notes

I’m posting this but you can pretty much watch my soul depart my body while reading so idk how entertaining it is to read because I got bored, not angry :P

Expectations? Well apparently the subplot is Dagon, who has been apparently by IMDB last time I checked cast as an asian actress, so she's going to die and that's going to be enraging (and it's Buckleming so she'll probably die of stupid, in a weird ass way) and she's hanging with Kelly and Lucifer's baby so THAT's going to be a disaster, so the subplot is already making my brain itch.

The main plot, on the other hand, I am ready to mock gleefully whichever way it comes and expect better than average Buckleming-ing because it's the MacLeods and they like them and put in extra effort. It's going to be like the true Dabb vs cars test - can he wrangle Buckleming to fix the plot hole that's existed basically the entire time I've been in fandom or will it remain hilariously open despite all this revisiting of the past and fixing, like, everything, that's been going on... Are they a law unto themselves or can they fall in line and deliver one of these Dabb-era canon reworkings that address what the fans want to see (aka, no stupid plotholes)? The plothole is SO egrarious they aaalmost pointed it out themselves in 9x21, commenting about how it was bad to keep Gavin from his proper death, but we have never seen COSMIC CONSEQUENCES from it, which are sort of a thing right now...

Though 9x21 has a whole little scene mocking fans, so idk how Buckleming feel but being nice to us is probably their last priority these days and they really do not fit in with all the other writers who are making love to the show :P

-

Recappy of 9x21 which I watched, like, the day before yesterday, so we're good. I do wonder if Sam and Dean not knowing the exposition of who Gavin is and what happened to him is the plothole already erasing their memories of 6x04.

Like, Crowley has to explain because even HE doesn't remember that incident, he just knows this about Gavin's ship??

Or will the recappy carry on with 6x04...

The good news is we get Sam delivering the line about Coooosmic Consequeeences again IN the recap. This automatically improves my mood.

Nah, on to "What the hell is a prince of hell" exposition without showing Gavin asking Crowley if he was one and Crowley cheekily handing him the title before regretting it and telling him not to ever mention it again, because one or the other of the 3 remaining Princes of Hell may have come for him :P

Poor Cas delivering clearly understandable exposition while bleeding into the Plaid Sofa - if the Princes keep being a thing then we're gonna see that a lot.

Oh thank fuck for Davy Perez and his clearly understandable one line exposition - Ramiel also mentioned the bun in the oven and his sister Dagon in one sentence and spared us clumsy Buckleming recapping of cobbling together a whole montage about this from various hints in the episode.

Listen I've done my rewatch up to where I joined in with fandom so I have now survived the recap of every single Buckleming episode while wryly commenting on it or watching fandom snark about it, and that's probably one of their best because it's so concise I would not have credited them

-

*random generic ghost death after an incredbly long time watching this lady's bedtime routine* After 12 seasons I'm pretty numb to these deaths, which makes all the suspense kind of time wasting unless it's really well done or contains really obvious hints about the plot - ah well, it wasn't offensive and minimally gross on this show's scale, so :P

-

Can't believe Dean doesn't sign off with "thanks babe" when talking to Cas. It would be so easy I'm actually confused when it doesn't happen.

He's out of focus but is he wearing a brand new purple shirt? Also have we seen Jensen wearing this at cons? The colour scheme is vaguely familiar but I may just be getting used to Dean wearing purple. Sam keeps swinging between blue and red (they're in the same scheme as last episode, purple and blue, here) and red and blue are the conflict colours - Dean's plaid has been suggesting unification and resolution especially given the colours he wore to talk God and Amara out of it. Purple is the natural extension of that where everything's mixed... or it's totally other symbolism of purple, but I like contrasting him and Sam, and Sam HAS been wearing red and blue at random, seeming a lot more scattered. And he's not talking to Mary.

Anyway the pattern of the plaid looks weirdly flat and 2-tone to me which is probably a commentary on the writing skills of the duo :P

-

Mary and Ketch are in this episode. It's starting to seem really cluttered but hey I guess they're busy working on something? Could be a random lead in to next episode.

Could be classic Buckleming Clutter.

-

I should stop judging but I would be worried about fitting in a ghost hunt and Crowley, Rowena and Gavin chatting, never mind throwing in a side plot, never mind not just doing basic exposition about what Kelly's up to but making it complicated with another set of main characters >.>

I do like seeing Mary though so

-

Poor Cas being the only one not in the episode

-

Yeah Mary's wearing red and blue striped plaid. Her ring is tucked into her shirt, and she's having fun killing monsters and testing the BMoL's toys with Ketch, who has been a John parallel at the very least for his completely uncompromising approach to monsters. Now it seems he's training her up, testing her to kill monsters (which in this underground carpark vibe place but a ton of dead monsters around her and the implication it's training, makes me think of 8x17 and Cas being trained to kill Dean - is Mary being made to harden up against monsters even more - including family like Cas.

-

I'm sure this will go very well for her.

-

We cut to this because Dean mentioned how maybe Mary would want to work with them. He says they haven't seen her in a while, suggesting that a great deal of time has passed since 12x12 IF that was the last time they saw each other.

(I guess we have a huuuge fan fic gap now so Dean n Cas have probably been together for a few weeks at least)

I suppose all these time skips this part of the season are because there's a baby situation going on and they want to escalate it...

-

I almost commented on Ketch's suit but realised I was about to compare it to Joan Watson because I did watch Elementary at some undisclosed point during these notes so far :P

-

His stop watch thing seems like a gimmick playing off last episode though. Mary and timing - she refused to give up the colt while Ramiel had a stopwatch countdown. Now Ketch is timing her. She feels she's on borrowed time...

I'm sure this will go well for her.

-

Blatant Dean reference is blatant when Mary claims she's hanging out watching pay per view and using the magic fingers. Filed under: ... do Buckleming realise how suggestive that was always meant to sound when Dean said it? Why is Mary telling Dean this. Sam always looks horrified when he catches Dean using magic fingers. THE GIFS OF HIM DOING IT.

Oh well. Buckleming.

-

And then Mary says she's still resting up from the Ramiel thing. Honestly, my BFF might be shipping Mary and Cas to my despair but think about Sam and Dean - their mom and BFF are constantly not around and complaining about no leads on the case, just, like, resting up...

"You're an excellent liar, Mary" It is a family thing.

Has Ketch REALLY, REALLY never been told, put 2 and 2 together or otherwise had it made clear to him that Sam and Dean don't know Mary is working with them? Sure Sam and Dean saw them help in 12x09 but there's something different between calling for help and accepting the proposal and they KNOW they'd be suspicious to work with them after Toni

(Poor Toni, character assassinated in 2 episodes by Buckleming, who are now explaining her away as a rogue operative because they made her go past a point of no return and now she's been ditched from the story... Imagine if that happened happened and she was still allowed to be around without the very well-justified reason she's now the face of the BMoL torturing Sam and Dean and can't be allowed near them. And we thought from 12x01 she had a ton of potential to be interesting and nuanced and all... Argh)

Anyway this makes it very clear they're untrustworthy to work with because of the way they have to be all unsubtle about Ketch thinking that Toni went too far when SHE thinks HE's the psycho.

-

"So... drink?" Oh, they're dating now I guess

-

Huh, Crowley. Randomly. Whyyy.

I mean, why didn't they give him an episode to be all weird and sketchy about having Lucifer in his basement while dealing with his family nonsense without SHOWING him having Lucifer in his basement? 12x12 was slick but obviously did not have time to focus on that... Following it with what should be a Crowley-related fluff family episode about Gavin being useless and dorky (I assume. I watched 9x21 too recently and I'm helplessly attached to the doofus again) and Crowley, well, we could have shown him, like Mary being sketchy about the BMoL or Cas in season 6 being sketchy about working with Crowley, just kind of... itchy about time and what he can do and generally having a load of tells something's up... Keep Lucifer out of the episode entirely and focus on Crowley's emotional state to sort of retroactively add the emotional stuff that had to be left out for time and drama last time.

Like, 12x12 was so full on, you need a REST episode after which you think Gavin's return would be perfect MacLeod fluff, and we keep Lucifer away

But nah he's here so suddenly we have to see him and see Crowley interacting with him, and all that subtle menace and whatever from the end of 12x12 evaporates because we're just leaping right in. We shouldn't have seen Crowley until whatever brings him to hang out with the rest of the MacLeods later in the episode (as I'm pretty sure we saw them doing in a promo)

Ugh. :P

-

Maybe I'm just being picky but I did NOT want to see Lucifer again immediately, and Crowley keeping that secret, and sure WE know he has Lucifer in his basement but no one else does so now we know Crowley's secret, tell it like he has one! Don't show us more!! LESS IS MORE

-

Also whenever Crowley lectures Lucifer it just reeks of hubris like this is going to blow up in Crowley's face and now it feels like it's going to Buckleming up in his face instead of the more subtle way it could have gone.

Since they're now explaining how Crowley stole a Lucifer for himself.

Maybe Rowena knows he has him but in that case you think they'd use 12x11 to hint there's more Dean doesn't remember or shouldn't remember, OR have Rowena tease him on screen that she knows stuff he'd die to know if only he knew he had to know it :P

-

Oh, nope, he just sabotaged it somehow. Even Rowena doesn't know.

-

I know I have a lot of headaches pretty much permanently but there's one that shows up in a little line just above my eye that I'm sure is tuned only to the frequency of Buckleming episodes and only shows up when I watch one.

I'm burning a candle to ward off evil spirits.

-

Didn't work

Just keysmashed at Mittens and went to go get another cup of tea. Buckleming... Pls. we're 5 minutes into the episode.

I mean in the interest of explaining random things that fans might complain about, explaining why Lucifer is Nick again is... I suppose... an effort...

I SUPPOSE it interests Crowley to collect everything remotely useful connected to Lucifer.

His diary for the week after Swan Song is packed.

I mean we always knew he was snooping around doing various behind the scenes things, but aside from anything else that's too much ass-pulling by saying Crowley did this Crowley did that 6-7 years ago in a row.

Not sure I can look directly at the rest of anything else that happened in the last minute of screen time :P

-

Lucifer snarks about how stupid this all is. Including also pointing out something that was bugging me that I wasn't going to mention, that Crowley isn't even keeping Lucifer down in Hell where he can be SOMEWHAT contained, but he's got him surface level in his usual dingy rooms.

That comment is just inserting an eye roll :P

-

Dean is suspicious about Mary's motives for being busy, while Sam is eager to explain it away, which I'm not even sure is flipping their positions about it or not, because Dean has been grumpy about Mary not wanting to hang out with them, but Sam was explaining THAT away too, so he mostly seems to be reacting to what Dean says in defence of Mary, which I guess may be making him less critical of her actions as he's getting to them through the filter of Dean complaining about her staying away or being weird. But of the 2 of them (while Cas has a few more reasons to be suspicious than her sons as of 12x12) Sam has more reason to seem suspicious of her because he was the one asking Mary how she was and asking Mary what SHE got them into last time.

-

Maybe they're both sort of suspicious but beither wants to commit.

-

Oh god we don't have to watch a guy die while he's peeing do we?

-

oh good >.> He's just going to die randomly in this creepy bathroom

Does he have no preservation instinct

-

Did Sam just say something about ADHD ghosts? Or was it something else and my hearing is messed up? It honestly barely makes sense in context because he was talking about how there's just a ton of haunted stuff at museums but obviously most of them don't seem to be aggressively haunted like this. (And I think it's a nice detail to assume that there's a lot of potential ghost activity at museums given they're ancient artefact-collecting places and those are the exact sort of things that might have a spirit attached.

maybe he said ancient ghosts.

Maybe I will assume he did even if it turns out to be "ADHD" when someone finds the captions for it because that makes more sense >.>

-

*Dean messes with some priceless artefact weapons and we cringe as he drops them and wonder if this is a metaphor for Buckleming handling canon*

-

Okay one small good thing: Dean remembers the detail about Gavin's ship.

Whether this is because Crowley told them or Bobby told them, I have no fucking clue but 6x04 only exists if Gavin is slam dunked back into his watery grave, so. Probably Crowley.

Anyway yay Dean's photographic memory.

-

I actually had to go check with Mittens and demand spoilers if this ever gets addressed and fucking hell Crowley thinks the Winchesters actually killed the Nephilim already what the fuck what the fuck WHAT THE FUCK

-

Fortunately on that note it's dinner time and I'm putting 7x20 on.

-

Oh my god Crowley thinks the Winchesters killed the Nephilim??? THEY WERE ARRESTED MOMENTS LATER

HOW DO YOU FUCK UP SO BADLY YOU PUT PLOTHOLES IN YOUR OWN WRITING FROM LITERALLY THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE FOR THIS SHOW?

Does he think Cas did it??

he maaagically knows EVERYTHING ELSE THAT HAPPENS EVER INCLUDING ANY PLOTHOLE FROM 10 YEARS AGO THEY WANT TO FILL

HOW

-

Why did Crowley have this conversation in the same room as Lucifer and not even try to hide what he was talking about from him?

unrelated side note: why did Crowley think Sam and Dean killed the baby?

-

Why did Lucifer say "Oh my dad" now the entire fandom has to stop making that joke ironically

-

maybe if I don't comment on this plotline at all it doesn't happen

-

Anyway! Sam and Dean stay at the museum overnight for some reason. Guess they really like the movies. Anyway they smuggled a Rowena in  with them. I should probably just stop asking questions at this point.

-

Sam has also decided to stop wearing his jacket and is distractingly beefy and this is not coming lightly from me, a person who has never really objectified Sam ever except for maybe a little in season 7 when he has that hair and sideburns combo

I clearly need something to distract me here :P

-

Also the last scene involved a lingering close up of a lady's chest. In a coat, but still. Dodgy camerawork to accompany everything else.

-

*Sam casually manhandles Rowena and pfft I don't wanna ship it but yikes it's a messed up brilliant ship for Sam*

Dean has already kind of decided Rowena is OK, but Sam still has some serious issues and is also apparently grabby with her and well, 10x19 is still a thing, and... just gimme witch Sam already

-

Oh yep there's Dagon. Now don't die. Already killed the angel in the black vessel, so this is all going well >.>

Blah blah usual line about demons being more sympathetic than angels and Lucifer is just misunderstood. Dagon's pretty cool but she is just reciting pretty much word for word other lines about Lucifer or angels or demons that other characters have already said in more dramatic and weighty episodes.

She does seem more sympathetic about the whole Lucifer's baby thing than anyone else so far.

Also how did random angels track Kelly when Cas couldn't

Also how did Dagon track her etc

The wide shot reveals the absolutely standard boots for female characters on TV which I started noticing and getting bemused about in Person of Interest and then I realised badasses like Parker wore them in Leverage, and now I can't stop seeing the everywhere on Action Female Characters I guess because there's a certain amount of high heel where you can kick butt and still run around. They still seem really unpractical compared to wearing non-heeled shoes but I suppose they're the limit for actresses who have to wear them all day. Eh.

Anyway Dagon seems nice and they have the same taste in boots so I guess they can be BFFs now.

-

Oh my god we're past the midway point of the episode and finally we get to the promo scene which seemed like it had been at the start of the episode.

Nice to see this is getting the appropriate amount of emotional weight.

At least Dean's wearing his Cas plaid/plaid that looks like the sofa/TFW plaid

Sam is back in red.

-

GAVIIIIIIIN

-

I like how they said Crowley was sick to get him here... Crowley is kinda fucked over but not in that way.

Also what a gullible cookie to believe Crowley might get sick.

he doesn't know aaanything

-

"That's my ship!" "should've been"

YEAH GAVIN GET ON THAT SHIP

-

He's so sweet. "Oooh! There's Mr MacCallum(?)'s hook! Had no hand, ye see."

I feel weirdly proud of him

-

Oh wow I'm Rowena in this scene

-

Boooooring he had a girlfriend

-

I mean I still love and support him but I am disappointed because 9x21 had that ambiguous guy who seemed to feel right at home in Gavin's one-bed room and assumed they were hooking up with Abaddon

oh well maybe Gavin thought he was single again what with the going to America thing/things had been complicated because of this guy and they were going to America together and Gavin retroactively was already feeling reeeeeally guilty about it before this all came back to - heh - haunt him. Maybe that's why he thought he was going to Hell - he was fucking off to America with his boyfriend after dumping Fiona because he was worried to take her with him for justifiable reasons about ship safety.

-

SNOW

-

I think there was some earlier in the dark but it was boring and dark

-

Also hi I never see snow :P

-

Mr Ketch still pestering Mary for a drink. He's really into her. Goes and brings up her kids though "It might be best if you were to... disengage from them, for a bit." - dude, that's all she's done all season

Oh look and her ring's back out in plain sight. (She's also wearing a grey plaid - totally drained of colour - "nothing comes before my family"

Oh he's REALLY hitting on her now, telling her she's the best hunter he's ever seen and she might play at being mummy, but blah blah blatant Mark of Cain Dean parallels about blade in her hand blood in the air that's the real you

"The best you"

And yeah all that same paralleling about how it scares her to be a killer etc that Dean goes through

As well as the "you play at - " phrasing that was so horrible levelled at Cas in 9x22 about playing at being one of the angels.

-

This random museum lady has a ring on her necklace. She hasn't really done enough to be a Mary mirror?

Maybe things will change. At least for now she's just misplaced part of her exhibit because ghosts :P

-

Pretty sure we saw the ghost go after the white lady but honestly knowing this show I'm kind of worried for her friend

Welp it's still chasing her

Ooh yay Winchesters saved her

-

No time for character development. Too much going on. Gavin is already confronting his dead girlfriend

-

I guess this is how Gavin gets talked to go on the ship, so he can protect her >.>

-

They're blatantly just saying they can't burn the locket to justify sending Gavin back

I didn't watch 7x19 because I didn't want to put myself through it, but it does include a ghost having both bones and an item he's connected to aside from that he uses to move around, so I guess it's pre-existing Buckleming canon and I'm glad I remembered that without havig to relive the episode

-

"You don't intend to tamper with the flow of time, do ye?" Do they hear the dialogue they write? :P Gavin... literally... is here... tampering with the flow of time... Sam and Dean are just sticking up for the exact thing they've always said about putting Gavin back where Abaddon found him.

-

I guess Rowena is protesting because she likes him, but still... She might have found a better way to say it

-

Awww no Gavin is alone someone please give him a hug

Well Rowena did earlier

more hugs for Gavin... at this point all I want out of the episode. I'm still watching FOR Gavin

-

Hey Crowley. Popping up out of the blue with no explanation to defend Gavin some more.

-

This is kind of anvil heavy about someone from the past deciding to go back because they don't fit in and there are loved ones back there which is all horribly grim Mary-related stuff >.>

-

Though she doesn't have a "past" to return to, just Heaven, and we've had periodic opportunities for her to go back throughout the season so idk if it's maintaining the threat until the last minute like the way Dean suffered in season 11 with the temptation of Amara/the Empty that she represented, or just foreshadowing. Outside of Buckleming episodes I feel Dabb era is kind of more nuanced, but we'll see...

-

*stares at the emotional beats in this scene some more* honestly that could have been worse. Crowley was probably way too over-emotional about it considering he resented that he didn't want Gavin to die in 9x21... Not sure that making him cry was particularly kind to him although maybe he's learned to stop hissing in horror at feelings and never really got better, just manages it more... Anyway, his attachment to Gavin is completely hypothetical since he's ditched him in the future without a glance back except for sulking about feelings some more. Idk maybe he's been keeping a better eye on him than he has on with Winchesters or he'd fuckin' know that they were still desperately looking for Kelly.

I suppose Cas has been shouldering that one more than the Winchesters, and he'd not chat to Crowley about it all.

Hrm.

Anyway, trite emotional scene and then they take Gavin off and just leave Rowena? Even Baby looks embarassed to be in this episode. Rowena didn't even come to see Gavin off??

-

I'm glad their weird Latin spellbook helpfully has just the ingredients of the spell helpfully also listed in English just in case you were curious what they were/didn't remember them from last time

-

Eehehe the jar of angel feathers

-

Henry Winchester nostalgia

"and Abaddon" I'm amazed the sad music didn't record scratch

-

Also they're not even using the door.

-

"Oh this is a tough one" Aw Dean don't get too over emotional :S

-

*Sam notices a fly or something in the background while Dean looks all sappy about a love story*

Ugh I'll let Gavin have that. It makes no sense whatsoever how she appeared like that but okay :P They wanted to show us that I guess instead of just zapping Gavin back. Over-tell everything!!

-

Anyway I guess "Dabb vs cars" is now to be tagged with a strong sense of pride :P

Although also some disappointment he still has to deal with Buckleming

-

Also so this episode is still going on

-

They rewrote history

-

MARY

-

She brought food!

-

Terrifyingly coded food because Mom Beer and the betrayal burgers which date back to Cas in season 6

Dean is dramatic

-

Also they've changed clothes so this may be up to 3 months later

-

Oh dear, I think she's about to tell them she's hooked up with Mr Ketch in a Buckleming episode

-

You know my terror of them fucking this up is actually making it seem like this conversation is going better than it could have. I've only been annoyed with like two details of charactersation/silly dialogue choices so far :P

Dean's just done the despairing blink realising that family is waaaaaay more complicated than just saying they're family

-

Which he already knew but he has to go through it with Mary because this has been about tearing down all his notions about her and it doesn't work unless he's at least a LITTLE bit betrayed by her.

-

Rowena and Crowley... okay that wasn't the end of the episode.

Yay Rowena I guess :P I can't believe anyone still remembered 10x23 - we were sort of mostly pretending it didn't happen. (Also blaming Crowley for everything, not Sam even though he's the one who started it) - but Rowena remembered >.> And she rights the wrongs done against her. Always. 

-

*random spooky end*

[werewolfmind]

L.I.S   B.T.S thoughts under the cut

in summary though: not a fan. The vibe of the game is off, the writing is cringey (and not in the charming way the original is, in the IM AN EDGY ANGSTY TEEN way where LIFE IS SO HARD, I dont like chloe, I dont like rachel, and cant forget the blatant “everyone is crap and takes their own issues out on everyone else” problem thats expanded to ALL characters instead of just Chloe

sighs

CAN WRITERS AND FANDOM FUCKING LEARN THAT JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO A CHARACTER, IT DOESNT EXCUSE FUTURE OR PAST ACTIONS WHICH HURT OR ENDANGER OTHERS

AND YEAH SHIT CAN HAPPEN TO CHARACTERS AND YOU FEL BAD FOR THEM, BUT BEING BULLIED OR AFRAID DOESN’T MAKE KILLING OKAY, ESPECIALLY IF ITS OUT OF REVENGE 

--------

DID THE WRITERS BUY INTO THE ‘POOR BULLIED NATHAN’ THING IM PISSED NATHAN WAS A VICTIM AND I FEEL BAD FOR HIM BUT HE STILL DID SOME PRETTY FUCKED UP THINGS ON HIS /OWN/ LIKE THREATENING MAX AND CHLOE AND OH YEAH HELPING VICTORIA RUIN KATE AND POSSIBLY GETTING /HER/ KILLED AND IF YOU FAIL TO SAVE KATE HE REALLY DOESNT SEEM AFFECTED BY IT SO YEAH

HE EXPRESSES REGRET FOR RACHEL LATER AND IS GENUINELY WORRIED FOR MAX BY THE END, BUT AT THE TIME THESE EVENTS ARE HAPPENING HE STILL DOES SOME PRETTY AWFUL FUCKED UP THINGS NOT UNDER JEFFERSON

———

why do I feel hetero-hate coming from this game?

Cause look okay I know this is cliche to say but really. Warren was portrayed as some pathetic puppy and the writers give you like 10 chances to hook up with Chloe but theres only 1 right way to play things if you want Max/Warren

Now in BtS HOW many girls hit on Chloe and Rachel JUST in chapter 1 (to the point where its hitting Mary Sue levels. No everyone is attracted to the bad girl aesthetic ok?) In addition to Chloe blowing off her bf of 2 months because she got roped in with Rachel…

And like. Okay. Chloe is gay, POSSIBLY bi? So far we know she was attracted to/dated guys up until the events of BtS and shes kinda figuring out her sexuality. Max has the option of both Chloe and Warren, and assuming outside of game mechanics being able to flirt with Chloe while crushing on Warren means she’s bi and just never considered girls until Chloe came back into her life…

BUT the overall feel is that guys = bad, girls = good. The guys are either sexist, overbearing, or downright scumbags (not mention certain homicidal fucked up ones). And all the girl pairings consist of the sweet/shy girl crushing on the badass punk (Chloe or Rachel)

Not to mention the fact that theP.ricefield shippers overlook and even DEFEND how abusive and manipulative Chloe is to Max IN CANON and their very first defense is “gay ships need more representation stop hating”. Tbh I wouldnt be very happy if the first REALLY good representation of an ace character was of them also being emotionally abusive to their partner

idk. this fandom and now the pattern in the games of man-hating/portraying specifically lesbian relationships as picture perfect to Mary-Sue levels of writing? Honestly, it pisses me off

————

lol yeah

the entire vibe of this game is “straight relationships suck”

because you know

just having a good girl-girl romance wont actually send a positive message ]]

#ooc

#im

#YES OK WE GET IT YOU HATE GUYS AND STRAIGHT PEOPLE

#no really#Warren and William are the only two guys in boh games so far#that ARENT complete assholes#i mean like wow#teenage boys can be awful#but fucking REALLY?

——-

#WOW#and I liked Rachel#until she turned into a bitch and yelled at Chloe#what#youre mad because you saw [spoiler] but instead of just telling Chloe#you attack her and then go all#'yu dont ask a girl out and then not buy her a drink’#glad to see Chloes into the same type as her#girls that verbally abuse you for things wthout telling you what the real problem is#(honestly this says more about the writers views on women than it does on their relationship or the characters…….)

——–

AND WHEN CHLOE CALLS RACHEL OUT FOR SUDDENLY TREATING HER LIKE CRAP

RACHEL LASHES OUT

“I forgot its always about you. sad chloes fucking sad again!”

And you know what? THIS MIRRORS HOW CHLOE TALKS TO MAX WHEN SHE ANGRY

THIS IS LITERALLY A CYCLE OF ABUSE THAT ONLY END BECAUSE PEOPLE DIE

THIS IS NOT AN OKAY RELATIONSHIP, EITHER OF THEM

————-

you wanna know the real romance of theis game series?

Kate/Max and Max/Warren. aka ships that stood by each other and would never hurt each other and value each other for their brains and kindness over how “cool” they are ]]

#ooc

#funny how theyre both Max ships

#really tho

#Kate/Max = the ACTUAL true gay ship

#fuck you writers

——–

“Because I dont want to ruin this the way I ruin everything else in my life”

RIGHT THERE

THERE IS THE POWER DYNAMIC YOU SEE IN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIPS

RACHEL LASHES OUT AND ATTACKS CHLOE WHEN CHLOE WAS TRYING TO HELP

CHLOE CALLS HER ON IT AND GETS ANGRY

RACHEL WALKS OFF

AND THEN NEXT THING CHLOE SAYS TO GET HER TO STOP IS ESSENTIALLY SAYING THE FIGHT IS HER FAULT

AND RACHEL’S ANSWER? “What is ‘this’ exactly?!”

not adressing the real issue, instead bringing it back to the DAY-OLD RELATIONSHIP between the two making it seem like Chloe’s playing games

like jfc I could understand if theyve been hanging for a WHILE and Rachel thinks Chloe might leave her or keep waiting on her to make the ove

YOUVE KNOWN EACH OTHER FOR 24 HURS AND YOU WANT TO MAKE IT ABOUT CHLOE NOT MAKING A MOVE ON YOU?

SHE MANIPULATES THE CONVERSATION TO BE ABOUT HER WHILE YELLING THAT THATS WHAT CHLOE DID

FUCK YOU RACHE

————-

#ok#chloe finding the car#was hard to watch#her reaction there is understandable#ooc

——-

#this writing#its gone from cringey to#just bad writing#characters knowing things they shouldnt#and contrived convos#lol nope#this is dumb#ooc

——-

Ravens….Rachel’s scream…..

um

did the writers watch TW and rip off Lydia cause

——

Hey Rachel, good job causing an out of control forest fire because youre upset

look your dad cheating sucks but can you not destroy nature cause of it?