#I heard and seen this audio a couple of times and I decided “Okay but what if I put Madonna--”

[anintroverteddarling]

"If anyone can be behind the mask, that means behind that mask is a bestie." "Yes-- Wait wha--"

Youtube Link:

[ratcash-wasgud]

Beach episode with loser!Mizu,,,, she's lurking under the shade while everyone else is out in the water having fun like the- well loser she is

i love beach episodes!!! wahhh!!!! (i know basically nothing about beach culture btw)

i think this will be the last loser!mizu for a while guys (a couple days, until i realize i can't write anythinng else, and crawl back to my pookie). I have so many unfinished drafts ugghh.

mdni :p

+audios !! okay enjoy.

You and Mizu have gone to a couple of "dates", which all were just hanging out at or around the aquarium. Oh, and you once came to watch one of her games, but that's it. It's a very confusing relationship in Mizu's eyes.

For a while she already thought you two were dating, but Akemi quickly educated her on the wonderful world of talking stages. That day, Mizu decided that talking stages were her worst enemies. How are you not her girlfriend yet? It's not fair.

Akemi and Taigen only seen you once, and they were both intoxicated, and Ringo hasn't even met you, only in passing, so it's obvious they'd want to meet the person their grumpy friend is spending most of her time with. So Akemi arranges a beach hangout, and starts bugging Mizu about bringing you along, with "Come onnn, don't you wanna see her in a bikini?" typa comments.

Mizu, even though the last time you hung out with Akemi and Taigen it turned out very much embarassing to her, gives in after a while.

After a brief text exchange which Mizu floods with horrible memes, just to ease her own anxiety, you say yes, and now here we are.

Mizu is setting up her little fortress of peace in the sand, which is a big, soft blanket with a parasol guarding her from the sun. Her usual shades sit on her nosebridge. Her choice of swimwear is made of a pair of dark blue swimming trunks with rubber ducks all over it, and a bikini top that looked eerily like her usual sports bra. You on the other hand were...running late.

Ringo sat down next to her and offered her a muffin from the big bag he packed full of food, while Akemi and Taigen started to splash eachother in the water.

"You're more quiet than usual." Ringo comments with a slight smile, munching on a muffin himself. Mizu sighs and takes a bite of hers.

"It's stressful." She says with a shrug. "We're close, very close...but somehow not close enough. Like...how do you ask someone to be your girlfriend?" Mizu says to her bestfriend, looking up at the big guy from under her shades.

Ringo purses his lips as she stares ahead, thinking about it. "Say..."Will you be my girlfriend?" I think that would work." Mizu facepalms.

"Well, yeah, obviously, dumbass." She says, throwing her head back with a groan. "But the other stuff. Like...atmospehere, timing, mood...and how do I know she likes me enough to make that step?" She rambles. "It's obvious I like her, I told her I loved her once! What if she thinks I'm desperate? I mean, yeah I am...but I don't want her to know."

Ringo looks back at her, like she just confused his little brain even more, which she did. "Then wait for her to ask?" He suggest, and before Mizu could answer and tell him that it would be a terrible idea, because what if you never ask, you arrive, almost on cue.

You are...indeed wearing a bikini. And Jesus Christ, Mizu's breathing almost stops alltogether. Yeah, she slept with you once, and saw more intimate parts of your body than your belly button and cleavage, but this is different. You have your heart shaped sunglasses covering your eyes. She remembers those glasses, and she can feel her stomach twist in a not-so-bad way. She gives you sublte little wave as you approach, but before you could get to her, Ringo raids you.

"Woah, hey! I'm Ringo! You must've heard a lot about me from Mizu, since I'm her number one friend! I'm sure we'll get along great!" He chirps excitedly. Mizu needs to hold back the urge to burry herself in the sand and never come out. But to her surprise, you just laugh.

"How charming! Hey to you too, Ringo." You shake his nub. Mizu noticed that you find a lot of things cute and charming that Mizu would find cringe or lame. Maybe because you're more easy going. You walked to Mizu's little fortress, and offered her a smile. "And hey to you, hermit." You chuckled, kneeling on her blanket. Miz could feel her heartbeat fasten, having you so close. She should've gotten used to it by now, but she was convinced she never will.

"Hey." She said with a small, almost unnoticalbe smile. "You look...good." She complimented you, her gaze falling to your breasts for half a second, but her shades were keeping her safe.

"Thanks. Got this one just a week ago." You say, slightly pulling at you bikini top's strap. "You don't look halfbad yourself." You say playfully, then grab a beachball from the mountain of bags placed next to the blanket. "You know how to play?" You look at Ringo, then back at her. Ringo nods enthuistacally, and Mizu shrugs. Of course she knows how to play. She is in the school's basketball team, she is very good at ball games, but she needs to stay humble. That's hot, right?

"We need one more player though to make it even." You say, and just like that, as if smelling a challenge, Taigen appears.

"Well, lucky for you," He starts, putting his fist on his chest. "The champion has arrived." Mizu rolls her eyes, and you just gasp dramatically. Akemi sits down on the blanket. "You go ahead, I'll be the judge I guess."

And with that, the match if the decade started. You were on a team with Taigen, and Mizu teamed up with Ringo. She wanted to be on the same team as you, but Taigen snatched you up first. That bastard.

"Don't think I'll go easy on you just because you're pretty." Mizu says, warming up her shoulders on the other side of the web.

"Complimenting me won't save your ass." You tease back with a wink.

"Wait, no, that's not what-" Mizu suddenly realized the meaning of her words, but before she could try and ramble herself out of it, the game started with Taigen serving. It went all well, since Mizu could block all of Taigen's hits, but when you were the one sending the ball her way? The woman froze.

Everyime you jumped up to hit the ball, your whole body bounced, especially that part that she couldn't take her eyes off of. The little victory punch you gave to the air after you scored, the way your hair stuck to your forehead because you started sweating, and the way you threw yourself at the ground to catch the ball last minute, making your soft body squish against the sand...it mesmerized Mizu.

It was obvious you took the game seriously, but sadly not as seriously as Taigen, who basically started beating his chest like a gorilla when he scored. The strategy was simple: Ringo would take your hits, and Mizu would block and eliminate Taigen's. It all went jolly for a good while of the game, until your bikini top slipped, revealing your underboob. You though nobody noticed, so you quickly pulled it back into place, But someone did notice. And that someone couldn't focus on anything else during the rest of the game.

The results came out with you and Taigen on top, but only by two points. It was infuriating as hell to watch Taigen give you a double high five, but you looked happy, and that made Mizu content. She was watching the scene, until Ringo nudged her.

"Now. Mood, and uh...vibe! All good. Do it now." He tried to whisper, but he was really excited. It took Mizu a moment to realize what he was talking about, and when she did, she gave him a determined nod. She marched to you, her cheeks burning, and a frown on her face that could be described as angry, but it was just a sign of her taking this seriously.

"You did good." She says, lifting her shades off her face, putting them up into her hair.

"Thanks. You two weren't bad either. You just decided to play against champions." You shrug playfully.

"So uh...I saw an ice cream booth over there. I could buy you one as a winning prize, or something." She offers, shoving one of her hands into the pocket of her swimming trunks. Her voice came out breathy, on one part from just finishing the game, and on the other...well...

"Free ice cream? Hell yeah!" You say enthusiastically, and get going. Mizu just follows you. Taigen stays there, looking confused for a second.

You stand there, staring at the different flavours of ice cream. "Mmm...I think I'll go with mint chocolate chip." You say, tilting your head, still considering it. "Or bubblegum!"

"You could get both." Mizu shrugs. You're very particular about your icecream, it seems. It's good to know. If she manages to score another date with you, she'll bring you to a pastry shop instead of an aquarium.

"Really? Awsome!" You celebrate to yourself. "What are you getting?" You ask, leaning closer to her. Mizu gulps.

"I'll just...have vanilla." She says, doing her damn best not to look at your lips that are so close. She whishes she could be on that level with you where casual kisses are a thing.

"Vanilla? Well that's a little...boring." You chuckle. "I think you'd like coconut." You say, pointing at the similar colored ice cream. The fact that you're comfortable enough to decide what could she like is so...so...

"Yeah, sure." Mizu shrugs again. She pays for the icecream, but doesn't start walking back to the others yet. "Here," She starts walking towards the part of the shore where big rocks could give some privacy. You follow her, kitty-licking your ice cream. That movement reminds her---fuck. Why is she acting like a hormone filled twelve year old?

As she stares at you while walking, you're staring at the water. She follows your gaze, and starts watching the water too. The waves and the foam splash against the sky, and the clouds hover above, now lightly pink and orange tinted from the sun almost setting.

Suddenly, you point at the sand: you spotted a jellyfish that got thrown out by the water. "Look!" You rush to it, and crouch down by it's side. "Do you think it's still alive. It's still wet."

"Yeah, like me when I'm near you." is what Mizu wants to say, but instead she just follows you. "I'dunno." You seem to worry about the jellyfish, which is...sweet. It's just a jellyfish to Mizu, but to you? It's already named Fred and has a twelve page backstory. Mizu, in an attemt to not let your mood get ruined, takes off her sunglasses, and places them on the jellyfish.

"Damn. I think he's still alive, he seems pretty fresh to me. Drippy, even." Mizu snorts, and you push her, making her land on her butt as you laugh with her.

"Oh my god...you're horrible." You say, your beautiful smile returning. Even if she landed on her ass, a win is a win. Mizu takes back her shades and throws the jellyfish back in the water.

Mizu then takes a deep breath. She looks at you, her blue eyes shining in the orange-ish light. She steps closer, and lightly takes your hand. She wants to make it seem like it's a casual thing, but her heart is drumming against her ribcage. She then pushes her already melting icecream close to your lips. "Wanna taste?" She ask.

You chuckle. She's adorable. You lean closer, and take a big lick off her treat. You notice that the white ice cream has already melted to her hand. You lightly take her wrist. "You're so messy." You say teasingly and start licking the ice cream off her fingers. Mizu's breath hitches as she watches your tongue work on her skin, licking her lips unconsciously.

"You're so fucking beautiful like that." She blurts out, her other hand coming up to gently cup your cheek.

You smile up at her, licking up the cone. That was the greenlight you needed. You move your head up, and push your lips against her. You taste like coconut, as she opens her lips, inviting in your tongue. Her hand lands on your hips, leading you more behind a bigger rock, away from the all the prying eyes. She lightly grips the soft tissue on your hips, her fingers cautiously wandering towards your ass as you devour her lips. She slowly pushes you against the rock. You already ate your ice cream, and her's is melted completely, it's soggy cone laying alone in the sand as her hands move up to cup your breasts.

"I wanted to do this ever since that stupid match..." She murmurs into the kiss, her finger's finding your nipples through your bikini top.

You grin against her lips, slowly exchanging positions until her back is against the rock. You run your finger's along her skin, feeling up the exposed muscles. Her abs basically guided your hand along to trace their shape, then guided your hand downwards. You undid her swimming trunks and got on your knees before her.

Mizu looks at you, almost hypnotized by how good you look on your knees. Before she could react, you pull her trunks down, and teasingly lick her folds. Mizu pushes her palm against her lips to silence the loud groan that wanted to escape her lips. You chuckled against her flesh, closing your eyes as you started to do your work. Mizu's long, slender finger's got lost in your hair, keeping your head in place as she chewed on the inside of her cheek to hold back her noise.

She mumbles you name over and over, her hips lightly bucking into your mouth. "F-Fuck...fuck, I love you..." She blurts out in a half moan, half whine. Is it the best time to say it? Not really. But is that stopping her? No. She is too filled with passion and her feelings are bubbling over the edge. "I have loved you...f-for so long...p-please..." She whines silently. "I...I-I want you t'be mine..so damn bad...oh God..."

You look up at her, her juices dripping down your chin. You then suddenly stick out your tongue, pushing it inside her walls. Mizu bites into her palm to keep quiet.

"You're so fucking cute..." You mumble into her, repeatedly pulling and pushing your tongue in and out. Your nose rubs against her clit, making it hard to keep standing.

"M'gonna cum...f-fuck, keep going..." Mizu groans, bucking her hips even more into your mouth.

You can feel her walls clench around your tongue as she reaches her climax, holding your mouth open so her juices basically slip down your throat withouth swallowing. After she comes down from her high, you pull away, wiping your lips with the back of her hand, pulling her swimming trunks back into place. You get up from your kneeling position and give her a sloppy kiss.

"D'ya mean it?" You murmur into the kiss, your arms wrapping around her neck.

Mizu's lost in the kiss. She doesn't even think about the fact that she should be freaking out right now. "Meant every fucking word...I want to be your girlfriend." She says, her hands hugging your waist.

And with that...Mizu returned home that day a taken woman. She listened to the playlists she made you (psst!), and somehow heard every song in a new light.

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

All right, this is my post about John Oliver’s appearance on Russell Howard’s podcast that’s going to get way more detailed about the Chocolate Milk Gang than anyone wants (I can already picture the @lastweeksshirttonight reply to this to say they care, so I should amend that to say there is one person who wants that, but they have already listened to the episode and don't really need to be told what's in it, leaving this post still of interest to no people). So here is a cut.

It's been just a little bit over a year now since the couple of months I spent doing constant posts to update everyone on my progress through the rabbit hole of understanding the meaning of "Chocolate Milk Gang". A journey that started with an effort to just explain the name, but grew much bigger than that. Consider this post a continuation of those ones.

Okay. Okay. In order to find all the things I wanted to reference for this post, I decided to make one folder on my hard drive called Chocolate Milk Gang, where I collect all the video, audio, and PDF files that reference or relate to it, and I've got to admit I had a moment of looking at the whole folder and saying, "This is all starting to feel a bit Beautiful Mind." But anyway, it is convenient to have it all in one place.

Anyway. Here are the couple of clips I cut out of that podcast for that folder:

There's a lot to unpack here, comedian gossip-wise. Football stories that I'm always happy to hear again. Between Kitson's radio shows, Russell Howard/Jon Richardson's radio show, and The Bugle, I've heard enough different stories to suggest that apparently Al Pitcher's wedding was a hell of a time.

There's also some stuff in that Edinburgh clip that isn't specifically relevant the the CMG, but is relevant to some other stuff I've been posting about in the last few months. Stuff about the difference between British and American comedy, and how I'm pretty sure those differences are largely shaped by the Edinburgh Festival. Specifically by the fact that anyone can go to the Edinburgh Festival, making it very different from something like Just For Laughs that we have here, which is invite or audition only. And I think this is what makes British comedy much more similar to Australia/NZ comedy than it is to North American comedy, because they have MICF. Though I don't actually know what I'm talking about.

John Oliver sums it up well here:

You can kind of finish your ‘bulletproof’ – to the extent that that was true, which it wasn’t – but as close to a solid set of comedy that you can produce. At that point, you’re finished, really, right? So what are you going to do? Are you going to keep doing that? There’s probably many cautionary tales that will show you that’s not the way to human happiness. So then you start to break it. And that was where Edinburgh, for me, was so massively important, that you throw away that safety blanket, and then the next year you come back with a brand new hour. You spent a number of years making that twenty minutes, now you have to spend eleven months making an hour.

I wish he'd expanded a bit on the "not the way to human happiness" part, because that interests me. Going to comedy around here, I've seen how different it is from what I hear from British stuff, and obviously there are lots of reasons for that, mainly that I'm comparing low-level stuff that's local to me against great comedians from Britain. I know that Britain also has low-level club comedians, I just don't hear much from them all the way over here.

I have heard a little bit of fairly low-level comedy in Britain, and it's still notably different from what I hear here. Also, some of the comedians I hear around here have been doing it a long time (including my brother, who's been doing it 13 years, doing regular pro spots for over ten, makes enough money off comedy each year so he could probably almost live off his comedy income alone if he didn't mind being extremely poor), have done quite well. I've tried to see what their ambitions are, what the path is that they're trying to get on to the next thing. And there just doesn't really seem to be one. There are occasional spots on CBC that people would like, but those are so rare, so few compared to the number of panel show spots that comedians can try for in Britain, if they want to go that way. And obviously, in Britain, the new comedians are all trying to put together something good enough to take to Edinburgh, even if at first it's just the twenty-minute set that John Oliver was talking about in that clip for a mixed bill thing. No one here is doing that. They're pretty much doing the exact thing that John Oliver described as "not the way to human happiness", perfecting their 20-minute set so they can impress increasingly important club promoters for years and years and years.

It seems to me like a bad idea to dedicate your whole life to the thing that John Oliver (probably accurately) described as "not the way to human happiness", but I'm interested in how many other options there are. You can try for TV and radio spots, I guess, but there aren't many of those here. Some comedians around here try to audition for the Winnipeg Comedy Festival and Just For Laughs, but not many get in because there aren't that many spots available. A couple of people around here have started podcasts, but contrary to what the front page of Chortle each week might suggest, surely not everyone in the entire world can start a podcast. You could sell your soul to social media, obviously - that's always an option no matter what your field is. But if you want to do comedy and don't want that, what else are you supposed to do? I don't ask that question facetiously, I would genuinely like to know and I wish John Oliver had expanded on his point in that podcast to answer it. Which I guess he did, and the answer was to go to Edinburgh until you get good enough/enough attention to do your own tours. Or, in his case, you have Ricky Gervais happen to mention your name to Jon Stewart when The Daily Show is looking for a British correspondent. Also you start a podcast.

Anyway. That's the part where John Oliver explained some interesting stuff about the intersections between the comedy industry and the comedy craft, but that's not what we're here for, is it? We're here for some comedian gossip! And this podcast episode provided on that front.

Okay. To explain the significance of one part of that clip, I have to go back a bit. To summer 2022, when I spent ages looking things up to try to find the explanation for the name “Chocolate Milk Gang”. I’d found that it had to do with them being sober when all the other comedians were drunk, to them being considered vaguely nerdy compared to other comedians who were more shouty or smooth or alcoholics. So I got the gist, but this wasn’t enough to fully make sense. I kept coming back to asking: But why chocolate milk, though? Do they drink the chocolate milk? Do they talk about chocolate milk on stage? Do they regularly sacrifice cows in the middle of the night? Or was that just that one time?

The clearest explanation I'd found came from a 2007 article that said:

Part of a new breed of stand-up dubbed the Chocolate Milk Gang for rejecting a hard-living ethos, they include the likes of Daniel Kitson, Demetri Martin, John Oliver, David O’Doherty, Josie Long and Alun Cochrane, and can be characterised by their romantic sensibility, intelligence, geekiness, love of indie music and passive-aggressive, alpha male competitiveness.

But that doesn't explain the name. Sure, chocolate milk is a sort of nerdy drink, but there had to be a reason why that specific drink got used in their nickname. In the early 00s, I was hanging out with my high school friends, and we were nerds who didn't drink (not until I was of age) and liked to imagine ourselves as romantic and intelligent, but we never named ourselves after chocolate milk, because that is not a thing that just automatically happens to everyone who’s not an alcoholic.

So I kept searching. There were just barely enough references to the term on the internet for me to be pretty sure it was really used, but few enough references for me to occasionally wonder if I'd made it all up. There are really very, very few direct references to the actual name “Chocolate Milk Gang” out there.

They are so rare that I once listened to an entire Comedian’s Comedian podcast episode featuring the worst person in the entire world, just because I’d read that he mentions the words “Chocolate Milk Gang” in it, which turned out to not even be true. Actually, in the ComCom podcast, all he did was talk a bunch of shit about David O'Doherty. However, on a different podcast months later, he talked to a different guy about how DO’D had (shockingly) disliked the comments he'd made on the ComCom podcast, and it’s there that he mentions that DO'D was in a Chocolate Milk Gang. And I listened to both episodes. I listened to two hours of the worst person in the world talking, just so I could hear someone say the words “Chocolate Milk Gang”, because instances of that name being dropped were so rare. And he didn’t even actually say “Chocolate Milk Gang” – he got the name wrong and called them the “Chocolate Milk Brigade”. And listening to those two hours pissed me off so much that I temporarily lost respect for Stuart Goldsmith, a guy I very much like, just because he was able to be in a room with that guy and not punch him in the fucking face.

I hate to focus on the worst person in the world, but in the interests of laying all the Chocolate Milk Gang references out in one place, here's a compilation I made of that guy talking shit on two podcasts, and the Chocolate Milk Brigade reference is about 15:30 into it:

I get into the McSavage stuff because me listening to all that bullshit (and taking the time to put it into a compilation) really shows how far I was willing to go to find direct references to the Chocolate Milk Gang. They were not easy to find. I take it for granted now that I've figured it out, but it took ages.

I did, however, find a number of things that described the phenomenon, without using the specific name. Notably, this clip from the Stewart Lee TV show, Alternative Comedy Experience:

Or this clip from Russell Howard and Jon Richardson's BBC 6 Music radio show, recorded live from the Edinburgh Festival in 2007, with Richard Herring as a guest, looking back at Edinburgh 2006:

Interesting that both Lee and Herring identify them specifically as being strange and different for not spending the entire month of August drunk. That probably says more about Lee and Herring than about anything else.

So they go by many names, apparently. The Chocolate Milk Brigade, in the words of David McSavage. The Hanging Around Gang, in the words of Stewart Lee. The annoyingly sober nerds of the circuit, according to Richard Herring. The Guys with the Bags, in the words of Andrew Maxwell. An International Crime Syndicate that Sometimes Organizes Soccer Matches, in the words of John Oliver (okay, he was talking about FIFA when he said those words, but I think they also apply to the CMG).

That Stewart Lee clip came so close to using their actual name, but they still didn't quite say it. The rare instances of the actual name being referenced include that bullshit McSavage saga, that extremely weird Jay Richardson article that I quoted above (honestly the paragraph I quoted barely scratched the surface of how weird that article is, it's worth reading the whole thing), and a few scattered old articles that all seem to be quoting each other. The term "Chocolate Milk Gang" is mentioned on Russell Howard and John Oliver's Wikipedia pages, but not the Wikipedia pages of any of their less internationally famous core members (David O'Doherty, Andy Zaltzman, Daniel Kitson, Alun Cochrane), which is odd as you'd think it would be more likely to come up on pages for people for whom the CMG stuff was a larger proportion of their total career success.

But the main reference to it, of course, was what I called the Holy Grail Audio Clip, because it took me so much effort to find it, a few weeks of scouring the internet. It's the only clip I've found that really clearly lays out an explanation of what the Chocolate Milk Gang was, while using the actual name. It's from David O'Doherty's episode of the Comedian's Comedian podcast, which really should have been the first thing I checked, looking back (I consider it very lucky that David O'Doherty went on the ComCom podcast before the worst person in the world did, because otherwise we wouldn't have gotten his brilliant episode at all):

God, re-listening to that is reminding me of how exciting it was to find it for the first time. Actually, to illustrate how exciting it was, I still need to get a cat and name it Stuart Goldsmith. Early in the episode, DO'D talked a bit about his early Edinburgh days, and I paused the recording to make a post on Tumblr about that discussion, and how close they came to discussing the Chocolate Milk Gang, and how much I wanted my answer. In that post, I said something like: "Stuart Goldsmith, if you can get an explanation out of David O'Doherty for the term 'Chocolate Milk Gang', I will name my first cat after you." As a joke about how I do not want kids but felt that this was important enough to offer something on the same level as letting him name my firstborn. A bit later in the same episode, when Goldsmith delivered on that, I made a follow-up post to 1) share the above clip and declare that the Holy Grail had been found, and 2) admit that I do need to name a cat after Stuart Goldsmith now.

I've just dug up the post that I made after I first heard that clip, and in it, I transcribe what DO'D said. I shall copy/paste:

David O’Doherty: ’02 was the year where I came [to Edinburgh] with a show, I’d been a bit sad and tried to write a show… and I met just a bunch of people. I met Kitson, I met Conchords, I met Taika Waititi, who’s a movie director now, I met Zaltzman, I met John Oliver, I met Josie Long – I’d met her before but, we were all just trying to figure out a kind of a thing that we wanted to do. And it didn’t quite fit with what was successful around then, because none of us were… I guess you could categorize it as quite low-status individuals. As in, we didn’t walk out with smoke machines, and if we did shout from off stage it was something ironic, about, like, “Get ready to try and stay awake for an hour, because this room is bullshit. Ladies and gentlemen!” You know, and that was… whereas before, that was the start of shiny floor comedy that we see on TV now. So it was like people in tailored suits and bowing, and getting the adulation – that was just never a thing I wanted to do. My father’s a jazz musician, and jazz is like the opposite of that.” Stuart Goldsmith: In those comedians that we’ve named, do you see a sort of reflection of your styles in each other’s work? Because there are sort of similarities, like a common trope of that kind of gang is to treat something gentle and meandering and whimsical as if it’s, you know, like a rap battle or something. To kind of pretend like you’re Notorious B.I.G., talking about a unicorn. David O’Doherty: Oh, that. Yeah, I mean, that’s… that’s pretty low, what you’ve just said. Stuart Goldsmith: [laughter] Well it’s something that’s copied a lot now, and I think it originated with Kitson and with you doing Late ‘n Live. That whole thing of going, “strap in, buckle up.” But now, every idiot in tight jeans is going, “Strap in,” but without a sense of why. David O’Doherty: Right, yeah. Yeah, I guess we were… yeah, that’s a good point. I mean, I’ve always felt that I’m trying to say something reasonably profound. I’ve never done a show that was just a load of jokes, and was just trying to fill the time with talking about, you know, fairy lights and bunting, which was sort of the perception, I think, people who never came to the shows, or some people who reviewed it, would have had around the time. Of like, “Where is he from? I don’t know, but I’d like to visit it.” You know, I’ve always tried to talk about the things that were important. It’s just that those things manifested themselves as the tale of a suicidal lobster, which was the first show here, or whatever it was then. So, you know, none of that was very tough. I remember once, we were referred to as… Me: Oh shit. Oh shit. Please, for the love of God, tell me what you were referred to as. David O’Doherty: …because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to [inaudible, I assume it’s the name of a shop that sells milkshakes but I can’t tell what he said, it’s not important] and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang. Which isn’t something you see… Stuart Goldsmith: By who? David O’Doherty: I think Glenn Wool, or something like that. Stuart Goldsmith: Okay, for people who don’t know Glenn Wool, he very much typifies the… David O’Doherty: Well, he was certainly then, he was like a party, a mega-party dude then. I remember Andrew Maxwell… Stuart Goldsmith: [laughing] Sorry, even your use of the phrase “mega party dude” firmly establishes you as a chocolate milk guy. David O’Doherty: I remember Maxwell, who’s a friend of mine – Andrew Maxwell is such a much more alpha character – brackets, shorter – than me, and he once said to John Oliver, “You lads, you’ve always got bags.” Because we had, as in a backpack or a satchel. And we probably had, like jokes, or like, books, and he was always like, “What’s in your bag?” Like there was something going on, just… we have effigies of you, and we have ceremonies that you’re not allowed to come to.

Before finding that clip, I'd spent an number of Tumblr posts speculating about whether "Chocolate Milk Gang" was a name they'd given themselves, or whether it was something they got called by the media. I never would have guessed that when I got my answer to who coined the term "Chocolate Milk Gang", that answer would be Glenn Wool. So technically, the name "Chocolate Milk Gang" has a Canadian origin. That's fun.

In that copy-paste of that my old post, I would like to draw your attention to this quote: "…because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to [inaudible, I assume it’s the name of a shop that sells milkshakes but I can’t tell what he said, it’s not important] and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang."

I said at the time that it didn't matter, because I was so happy to have the central mystery answered that I could overlook one little confusing bit. But of course, I still tried for a while to look it up. I couldn't quite understand what DO'D was saying - it sounded to me like "favorait", or maybe "fav-o'rait"?

I Googled all these things, but it was hard when I didn't even know what type of place it was. I was picturing a sort of 7/11-style corner store, a place that was open late and sold milkshakes. But I didn't know for sure, so I was just Googling a word that I didn't know how to spell, with no definite context. Throwing in the word "Edinburgh" didn't help.

At some point I took to Google Maps, and then Google Earth. He said the went "over" to get milkshakes after Late 'n' Live, which suggested to me that it couldn't be far from the Gilded Balloon. They wouldn't travel all that far in the middle of the night when they'd just done a long comedy show. So I looked around the map to see if I could find anything by that name, but nothing came up. I eventually gave up on it.

However. However. Here's a shortened version of the clip I posted earlier, of John Oliver on the recent Russell Howard podcast episode, talking about Edinburgh. A clip of just the part that's relevant to this post, where he talks about the CMG days:

He said it! He said it! He didn't quite say the words "Chocolate Milk Gang" (though he came so close), but he did say the same word DO'D said, the name of the store. And John Oliver said it more clearly than DO'D did, I could be more sure I was hearing him correctly, so I was inspired to try Googling again.

I tried Googling potential spellings with the word "Edinburgh" for a while, but nothing came up. Then I realized something (and this part isn't going to make this post sound less Beautiful Mind-y): this is a tradition that started in 2002. The Gilded Balloon burned down in December 2002, and was rebuilt nearby. So in August 2002, when the CMG started, the Gilded Balloon was in a different place to where it is now. All that searching on Google Maps/Earth, I was looking in the wrong spot.

So I did some Googling to try to find the original address for the Gilded Balloon. My CMG research from the last year has led me to know a hell of a lot about the Gilded Balloon, because so much CMG history took place there, and I cannot emphasize enough how thorough I have been in my research. I know its layout and how the backstage looks quite well, since it was heavily featured in that Tim Minchin documentary (I even know more than I need to about how the dressing rooms look, by which I mean there were more shots than I needed of Tim Minchin with his clothes off). I know all about Karen Koren and Late 'n' Live and all these things. I know about the fire. But I couldn't find its original exact address.

I do, however, know it was originally in a place called Cowgate, which is a neighbourhood and/or street and/or square (this is why I've named the cow sacrificing event Cowgate, even though that occurred at the new location in 2003). And I found that the fire that burned down the original Gilded Balloon started in something called Hastie's Close. So I went to that place on Google Earth, figuring the fire couldn't have spread all that far. I set the year to 2005, which was the closest year to 2002 for which Google Earth had archive data around that location. And I explored the area.

I didn't actually expect to find anything, really. But then, suddenly, it appeared before me:

Mystery solved! Another mystery solved! Look, to be honest, most of this post has just been to give context that tries to explain why the fuck I was so excited to find an Edinburgh diner that, as I now know because once I knew exactly what I was looking for I was able to Google the place, closed down years ago. It's exciting because it's the last little piece of the answer that I was so excited to find last year. I can finally fill in the blanks of the transcript of the Holy Grail audio clip. That's what David O'Doherty actually said: "…because everyone else was getting really drunk backstage at Late ‘n Live, and we used to go over and get, to Favorit and get milkshakes, we were called the Chocolate Milk Gang."

It turns out that Favoirt is not a 7/11-style corner store, it's a diner that even had a license to sell alcohol late (according to its front window), but is the sort of place that appears to be more about the milkshakes than about being a bar. And it is, in fact, very near the original Gilded Balloon. Or at least, it's very near the place where the fire that burned down the original Gilded Balloon started. I am so pleased to tie up this loose end.

Why does that matter? Look, I'm not quite sure, but it definitely seemed important. Look, why does anything matter? Anything at all?

Like I said, a lot to unpack in that podcast episode. I have now unpacked one tiny part of it, and it was the least important part. But I did unpack it. It's unpacked now. You're welcome.

...As I keep saying, there are worse things I could have gotten deeply obsessed with as a way to cope with the changing world in pandemic times. I could have gotten really into Jordan Peterson, like some ex-CMG members/hosts of podcasts about a box for things people like, that I could name. At least I didn't do that. I just occasionally spend two hours on Google Earth to find a long-closed diner in Edinburgh. I'm doing fine.

[musicalrecs]

Today's shameless promotion is for a show I've never seen and probably never will, and honestly? That might be for the best. Because while I adore the soundtrack for Lord of the Rings: The Musical, and the official clips on Youtube look amazing, I've heard the actual show is a bit of a, well, mess. And the incredibly complicated staging and huge cast mean it never toured and probably never will. But oh, the music!

The two group Hobbit songs ("The Road Goes On" and "The Cat and the Moon") are rousing crowd pleasers. The duet between Sam and Frodo as they try to keep their spirits up during the long road to Mordor ("Now and For Always") makes me tear up no matter how many times I hear it, it's so perfect for them and the story.

The Elves' big number, "Lothlorien," is beautiful. Gimli's "Lament for Moria" is... okay, look, to be honest the first couple times I heard it I assumed it was in Dwarvish because I couldn't make out the lyrics. XD But Aragorn and Arwen's "Song of Hope," is sweet and romantic with appropriate epic overtones.

Also, Gollum (and Smeagol) get a monologue on the CD that always freaks me out before I remember to skip it. XD (Not because it's bad, I just don't like Gollum and don't want to listen to him scheme, and it's like the audio equivalent of a jump scare when it starts.)

If you're familiar with Lord of the Rings (and if you're not, this musical is probably not for you), you may be wondering, "how did they boil all that plot into one musical, however long?" and from the reviews I've read, the answer is "not well."

Apparently it was more like a ballet/cirque du soleill sequence of set pieces, with some weird Hobbit pantomime-type stuff in-between? Which is fine as long as you know that's what you're in for. (Note: still mad about the time I went to see Movin' Out, the Billy Joel jukebox musical, without realizing it was ballet for middle-aged dudes.) There's a video on Youtube that attempts to recreate the whole show from various illicit videos, and gonna be honest, I made it through about three minutes before deciding the pictures in my head didn't need supplanting.

I just looked up the composers for the purpose of this post (why had that never occurred to me before?), and A R Rahman's discography has it's own Wikipedia page. O_O So that's a famous and prolific Bollywood composer; Värttinä, a Finnish folk band I'm going to be looking up as soon as I'm done writing this; and a guy who doesn't have his own page on Wikipedia but according to IMDB has been doing Marvel movies. So, that's definitely an interesting trio.

Speaking of research, apparently a production has been announced for this summer!! ...In Newbury, England. ::sigh:: In a 200-seat theater, no less, with reasonable ticket prices, so clearly some revisions to the staging and cast have been made, and it's being marketed as "semi-immersive" and oh, suddenly I'm quite sad I don't have the budget to vacation in the UK this summer. (If any of you see it, don't tell me if it's good now. It will only hurt me if it is.)

Right, jealousy of people able to go aside, if you like Lord of the Rings and you like musicals, do yourself a huge favor and listen to the soundtrack. I guarantee you'll love it.

[ayellowcurtain]

Simon bites his short nails, staring at his phone hovering over his head. He shouldn’t send anything. He was very clear that he didn’t want to be a secret, and he meant it. And Wilhelm has been nothing but respectful of his decision but Simon knows they both don’t want this. More times than he can count he thinks about how Wilhelm told him he loved him, and how Simon didn’t say it even though he felt it. He thinks about the texts Wilhelm sent him after their final conversation outside his house, how Wilhem told him he wanted Simon and just Simon, and how he didn’t reply to those texts either.

He’s fighting against himself every second away from texting Wilhelm, from telling him to forget about everything and come back to him. He knows Wilhelm would come in a heartbeat.

To Wille: How are you?

He puts his phone down, and up again because he knew Wilhelm would answer right away like he always does, no matter the time or day of the week.

To Simon: Okay

You? Everything okay?

Simon smiles, feeling his heart race. It doesn’t matter if they haven’t seen each other in over a month, Wilhelm will probably always have this effect on him.

To Wille: I’m okay too

Ish

To Simon: ish? Wanna talk about it?

To Wille: No, don’t worry about me.

To Simon: you know I do

Simon gives in a little bit to his selfishness, enhanced by the late hours of the night, with no long and skinny body asking to be hugged right behind him.

To Wille: just missing you

Simon sits up on his bed, a little more awake as seconds go by and he doesn’t get an answer.

To Simon: I miss you too.

Simon thinks about making a joke about how they should try the one night stand people talk about so often but he knows it wouldn’t be funny for either of them. Before he can think of what to say, he gets a new text.

To Simon: your purple hoodie is still with me

Simon grunts, dropping himself on the bed again, squeezing his eyes shut and his phone between his fingers. He needs to find someone else, to move on, to stop this stupid friendship that’ll never work because they’re madly in love with each other and can’t be together.

To Wille: are you using it?

He moves to lie on his side while he waits, anxious with what he’ll get as an answer.

To Simon: Maybe…

To Wille: a king to be should be in bed, is very late.

To Simon: can’t you hang out tonight?

We could sneak out and go get something to eat…

To Wille: sneak out...you and your two bodyguards...and me…

There’s no bubbles on his screen, and Simon didn’t even need to check that to know Wilhelm would get bothered by his comment, so much so that he would need the extra seconds to reply.

To Simon: so we don’t go out, I guess.

To Wille: nobody can see us together, remember?

To Simon: we were trapped inside a school, and people still saw us together but okay

To Wille: I miss you too. You know I do.

To Simon: soon enough you’ll find someone better than me, and you’ll be able to be with them.

Simon sighs, sitting up again, knowing he shouldn’t, but he records an audio message anyway while staring at his computer, still turned on but with no sounds. He thinks about the night Wilhelm came to pretend they were playing video game for hours and hours.

���That’s the problem: I don’t want anyone else.”

He bites his lip, thinking about Wilhelm, stuck inside his prince charming castle, hearing a stupid audio boring human Simon sent him. Before he can calm his nerves, Wilhelm is calling him, and Simon freaks out, staring at his phone for too long before accepting the call, somehow thinking he’ll hear someone completely different than the boy he knows even though it’s only been weeks of not hearing him. Or seeing, or touching, or smelling, or anything at all.

“Hi…”

“Hey…”

“Who do you want then?” He’s not accusing, he doesn’t sound mad. He just sounds like Wilhelm when he’s tired, bottling up his emotions behind a fake boredom.

“Wilhelm…”

“Don't call me that...it’s weird.”

“Why? It’s your name. Or should I call you king to be? Your Majesty?”

“Fuck you!” Simon laughs, closing his eyes, wishing they could be having this conversation face to face.

“You never call me Wilhelm, it’s weird.”

“I know.” Simon bites the inside of his cheek, not sure what they have to talk about. “You know who I miss?”

“Huh?” Simon lies down carefully, enjoying a little too much the hint of annoyance on the other side, Wilhelm thinking he’ll talk about someone else like that’s even possible.

“Drunk and high as a kite Wille. He’s fun.”

Wilhelm sighs on the other side, and Simon can hear how the phone call hitches when he throws himself in his probably ironic king size bed.

“He’s so dumb…”

“Stop that! He’s the sweetest. I like him.”

“I’m getting jealous.”

“You can’t.”

“I know.”

“You and him are the same people. But drunk and high Wille should just come out more often.”

“That would make the media love me even more, that’s for sure.”

Simon rolls his eyes, wishing he could tell Wilhelm face to face to stop worrying so much. “Fuck them.”

“Fuck them…” Wilhelm replies with little to no enthusiasm. “I miss school…” Wilhelm says with a lot more confidence, not talking exactly about school, and talking about it makes Simon think about it after weeks fighting against those thoughts.

Having to see Wilhelm every day again, pretend they’re just friends, that Wille was not the one with his hand inside Simon’s underwear in that stupid video. He wonders how much Wilhelm has changed after spending so many weeks probably being trained day and night to be a cold, heartless prince that’ll soon be the king. Simon will hate seeing that part of Wilhem being forced on him slowly.

“I miss school too.”

“Will you want to hang out then?”

Simon smiles, knowing Wilhelm won’t let him get away that easily. He knows Wilhelm will happily use all his charm - not that he has to - to take Simon right back to that same bed. And he can’t lie to himself, he’ll be happy to be there for a second, until he’s hit with the reality that there’s very little any of them can do to change the fact they’ll always be a dirty secret, until it gets too serious and the Queen decides to actually end whatever they have, or had, Simon is not sure still.

“We’ll see.”

“I heard your sister is staying there this year...Why aren’t you? You want me to help you with that?”

Simon laughs, even though it still hurts to think about his sister there, part of the high society, and how it’s so close, and so far away, all at the same time. It would be ironic to have Wilhelm pretending to be his colleague all the other hours of the day while fighting for Simon to stay at school without having to pay.

“No, god no! It’ll be hard enough to be around you for a couple of hours a day.”

“Are you afraid I’ll sneak inside your room at night?”

“You say like you’re not thinking about it.” Simon lifts his eyebrows, even though Wilhelm can’t see him, and he takes it in when Wille laughs wholeheartedly on the other side.

“You act like I’m a monster.”

“You’re not, you’re so far from that. You’re the best king ever.”

Wilhelm sighs loudly, always annoyed to be reminded of his future life.

“I’m no king.”

“You are a king to me.”

They stay in silence for a long, peaceful minute, and Simon gets anxious thinking about school, the good and the extremely bad of being around Wilhelm without having him completely, always looking over his shoulder.

“Just two more weeks of this hell, and it’ll be over for some time.”

“And then my personal hell will start.” Simon laughs because he hears Wilhelm laughing again, actually excited to be locked back inside, the only difference being Simon will be stuck with him.

“We’ll see how long you’ll last.”

“I doubt it’ll be more than a day.”

“I hope to god it won’t.”

[ybangtannies]

Hiii💜💜💜i just want to start off by saying i love your blog, your stories are really good. I just got through reading the bts profiles and i don't know if you are taking request but if you are i was wondering if you could do a scenario where yandere namjoon and y/n are best friends and one night he comes over and they end up doing it, but the next morning they just joke around because it was a mistake and they are good friends, then two weeks later she calls him tells him she is pregnant, and namjoon try to talk to her about keeping the baby because he secretly love y/n and is crazy about her.

[Here it is! I'm sorry it took me months to write this, but I hope you enjoy it! I got a little carried away and it's way longer than what I intended to be lol]

Masterlist

Word count: 2.7k

Namjoon’s eyes open wide suddenly, and frantically starts looking for your figure, and even though he doesn’t find it, he knows you’re around and awake because he can hear the shower from your en suite bathroom. He lets out a sigh and savours the memories coming to him from last night, your moans and whimpers, how good he felt being completely embraced by you and your scent; every single detail about last night and you both enjoying and pleasuring each other is engraved in Namjoon’s mind.

He knows you usually take around fifteen or twenty minutes in the shower, so he relaxes on the bed and starts thinking. What does this mean for your relationship? It surely changes everything, right? This must mean that you love him too. He knows you used to sleep around -much to his dismay, he still doesn’t understand how he put up with it, maybe because it was just sex with strangers and you made it pretty clear you wanted nothing with them- but it’s been a long time since that and if you decided you wanted Namjoon, your best friend, someone you clearly know and have already a bond formed with, to be the person you had sex with after such a long period of time, then there must be a reason behind it. Maybe you weren’t sure on how to tell him you love him too for fear of being rejected and thought sex would be the way to let him know without words? Namjoon smiles at the thought, his sweet and pretty girl, if only you knew how crazy in love he is about you. He’s been waiting for this to happen for way too long, have imagined it millions of times but reality surely does exceed fiction and now that he got a taste of what it would be really like to be with you like this, he doesn’t think he’d be able to give up this feeling for anything in the world; there’s no way, he would be insane to turn down his other half.

His stream of consciousness is cut off by the door of your bathroom opening and your figure emerging from it, you stand on the threshold and look at him with surprise.

“Oh, good morning! I didn’t think you’d be awake already, it’s pretty early and you always sleep until it’s almost lunchtime” you chuckle while entering the room, going to lift up the blind and open the window a little.

Namjoon is looking at you in awe, you’re not wearing anything he hasn’t seen on you before -a shirt and some worn out shorts- but he can perfectly see the hickeys he gave you last night on your neck since you’re wearing your hair on a side plait plus you’re still yawning even if it’s been surely more than half an hour since you woke up and adding that to the fact that now he is your boyfriend... he wonders if you’d be up for round two before having breakfast.

“Hello? Earth to Namjoon! Are you sleeping with your eyes open again or what?” Your voice is once again bringing him back to reality, your glance focused on your phone rather than on him.

“No, no, sorry, I guess I’m still a little tired. What’s up?”

You roll your eyes playfully while looking back at him, “I was asking if you wanted to have breakfast now, but you can keep sleeping if you want, I have things to do anyways.”

Namjoon accepts your offer and accompanies you to the kitchen to make breakfast; he loves how he knows his way around your apartment and how domestic it feels waking up together after having been making love all night to have breakfast and spend the morning at home, like a long-term couple.

He is about to open his mouth and address the elephant in the room once you’re both seated at your table and drinking coffee when you beat him to it.

“So, I don’t want to make things weird after last night and I don’t really think this need to be said since we’ve been friends for quite some time now and already know each other and where we stand,” Namjoon doesn’t like where this seems to be going, “the sex was really good and I think we both needed it after the stress from college but -and don’t get me wrong please- I don’t think it’s a good idea to make it something common, you know?”

Nope, Namjoon is hating this. He is quite lost, what is happening right here? What do you mean you don’t want to have sex with him anymore? Are you already breaking up with him? And what do you mean by ‘making things weird’ and ‘we’ve been friends’? What the fuck are you even talking about? Is he still sleeping? Is this one of his nightmares? That must be it, a nightmare, the worst he’s had so far.

You must sense his confusion because you chuckle a little and even blush; Namjoon wants to smile at the sight, you just look way too cute, but your words have him very confused right now.

“The sex was good, really! Amazing even, Joonie! All I’m saying is that we both know each other too much to have a friends-with-benefits relationship without fucking it up -no pun intended by the way” you laugh again lightly while sipping from your mug and grabbing a toast from the plate in between you both.

Namjoon is really thrown back by your behaviour but as much as he’d like to talk back and confess how ardently he loves you, he realises maybe now is not the right time; he is already sure about his feelings for you and what he wants but you don’t seem to be on the same page just yet and he, being the gentleman he like to think he is, will of course give you some time to figure out your feelings for him. Because of course you must be in love with him too, but maybe you’re more stubborn than he thought you to be and preferred to think your feelings for him were only of lust and not love. It’s okay, you’ll come to your senses and if not, he’ll help you find the right way to his side.

“Yeah, sure. Don’t worry about it, y/n. I know what you mean.”

Days goes by, then weeks and before Namjoon realises it’s been almost a month since that beautiful and extraordinary night he revives almost every day in the solitude of his room. It’s during one of those moments when he is remembering the way your voice sounded asking him for more, to please don’t stop thrusting into your tight and velvety walls and he is about to climax, saying your name like a mantra, that his phone starts vibrating making him jump on his bed and let out a groan, who the fuck? He is tempted to ignore it, too occupied with his hard and leaking cock on his hand to bother with answering the annoying prick that is calling him right in this moment, but then he takes a glance of your name on the screen and it’s physically impossible for him to ignore you. Namjoon sighs and tries to even his breathing and even covers his naked body with the sheet of his bed even though it’s just a regular call.

“Hello, babe, what’s up?”

“Namjoon,” uh oh, you’re using his full name plus your tone is way too plain, this cannot be good, “are you busy right now?”

He looks down at his now less hard cock and shakes his head slowly, “not at all, why? Do you need something?”

“Could you please come over?” Namjoon is already out of his bed and looking for his underwear and clothes, he doesn’t need for you to give him more details about wanting him to go to your house, but he still asks.

“Sure thing, but is something the matter? You sound serious”

A silence follows his question and Namjoon stops his movements altogether, looking straight to the wall with a frown adorning his face, “y/n? Is everything okay?”

“Just… please, come quickly, okay? I need to tell you something.”

He is about to interrogate you a little more or even ask if he needs to bring you something, but you don’t give him time and hang up just as you finish speaking. He looks at his phone with a deeper frown now and hurries up out of his house and into his car.

Namjoon arrives in record time, he’s been thinking about what could have possibly happened for you to be that dry on the phone; yesterday evening when he last saw you everything was okay, and even this morning you sent him an audio telling him how excited you were because the books you bought online finally arrived and were going to start reading them. So, what happened?

You open the door as soon as he rings the bell and without any words, sign for him to come inside. Namjoon observes your attire: sweatpants, a Superman t-shirt and your part of your hair is on a cute little bun, you look adorable and if it weren’t for the frown on your face and your apparent inability to look him in the eye, Namjoon would be cooing internally at you.

“What is happening, y/n? You’re making me worried,” he is now sitting next to you on the sofa in the little living room of your apartment.

You sigh for what seems to be the tenth time since Namjoon got here and start fidgeting with your fingers, “I don’t know how this happened… well, I know how it happened, but I don’t know how we both could be so irresponsible…”

“What happened? What did we do?” Namjoon is more nervous with each passing second, several scenarios running through his mind.

“I’m pregnant”, you guess the best way to tell him is by just doing it at once, to rip off the band aid.

A few moments of silence follow after your words, nothing can be heard, and it feels as if the world has completely stopped. You look at him cautiously and find Namjoon looking at you with wide eyes, opening and closing his mouth like he was a fish. The image is funny, cute even, and you would have laughed have it not been a moment like this.

“What?” It’s the only thing that Namjoon manages to say, he’s not sure he heard you right and doesn’t want to get his hopes up like he did before, just in case.

You mumble a little ‘wait here’ and leave the room, in the direction of your bedroom. Before he can decide if he should follow you or not, you’re back with several sticks on your hands. Your face doesn’t show the same worrisome it did when Namjoon first got here but the frown is still present, and he has to physically restrain himself from softening it and give you a kiss on the forehead.

“Here, these are the pregnancy tests. I went out this morning to get them, they’re all positive. I’m three weeks pregnant, Namjoon.”

He takes them and indeed, they all show two lines, one of them even stating what you just said: 3 weeks pregnant.

“This… this is…” Namjoon is trying to find the words to describe how he’s feeling right now; he wants to cry, to scream, to jump, but overall, he wants to hug you and kiss you silly. He is going to be a dad! And you’re the one carrying his children! He could marry you on the stop. Actually, he should start looking for rings and think about a proposal. Would you prefer to wait until you give birth? Or maybe you’d like to do it quickly before your tummy starts showing. Either way, Namjoon doesn’t mind, that’s your decision to make.

“I know it’s not ideal, don’t worry. I’m going to start looking for abortion clinics today, I want to get rid of it as soon as possible. That’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about, I think we should both pay it since, you know, we both did it.”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Namjoon can’t believe what he’s hearing, ‘abortion clinics’, ‘get rid of it’?

“We’re not gonna keep it. I’m not gonna have it, Namjoon.”

You are both standing now in the middle of your living room, looking at each other, both with a surprised look in your eyes albeit for very different reasons.

“Why not? I want to be a dad; I want to keep the baby.”

“What? Since when you want to be a father?”

“Since always?” Namjoon is trying not to raise his voice and keep his cool, he doesn’t want to upset himself more than he already is and doesn’t want to upset you either, that wouldn’t do your children any good.

You scoff and roll your eyes at his answer, “you don’t have time for that. You barely have time to eat with how busy you are with college; how do you plan on making time for a baby? You surely won’t drop college; how would you find a job then? Look, if you don’t want to pay for it that’s okay, I can afford it, it’s no biggie”

“It’s not about the money, y/n. I don’t want you to abort our baby because I want to have it with you. I’ll make time for it, we have nine months to figure it out, okay? We’ll both see how we can manage it. Maybe next year I can take fewer classes at college, and you could stop your studies for a year until the baby is old enough to leave them in a nursery without too many problems. Let’s just focus on celebrating and making an appointment with your doctor, darling, don’t worry too much” Namjoon is making his way to hug you and finally kiss you, but you take a few steps back looking at him with wide eyes, as if what he has been saying is insane.

“What the fuck? What the fuck am I supposed to be celebrating? I don’t want to be a mother; you know that I’ve told you several times before. Once I get a fucking abortion it’s when I’ll be celebrating. Look, I’m sorry if you want to be a father right now, but I don’t and I’m not gonna do it.”

Namjoon is starting to get angrier with the moment, he doesn’t understand why you have to be so stubborn. Surely, you’ve told him before about your reticence towards being a mother and how you’d rather abort if you were to ever get pregnant, but he always thought you were saying that referring to carrying the children of another person, not his.

“There’s no need for that, baby, if you just…”

“Don��t ‘baby’ me, Namjoon! My word is final: I’m having an abortion whether you like it or not. Now leave, please”

That’s it.

He snaps.

“Shut the fuck up. You’re not fucking getting an abortion, and that’s final. Do you understand? You’re gonna carry my children and this is just going to be the first of many to come so you better get used to the idea, is that clear, baby? I gave you enough time to fucking figure out your feelings for me, but this is way too much, I’m not gonna let you murder our children just because you are way too stubborn to realise, you’re in love with me. Now stop fucking talking nonsense before I made you myself.”

With each word that abandoned Namjoon’s mouth he got closer and closer to you until he had you trapped against the wall. You’re looking at him with horror in your eyes and his chest is heaving. He raises his hand, and you flinch and close your eyes, a yelp escaping from your mouth, but the hit never comes. Instead, you feel his fingers on your stomach softly while his other hand goes after your neck in order to bring you closer to his body.

“We’ll be okay, baby. I get that you’re nervous, but we’ll figure everything out and be the best parents to our children.” His words are disturbing, but what scares you the most is the smile on his face and how his eyes are shining with excitement and utter happiness, as if just a moment ago he wasn’t screaming and threatening you. Namjoon is finally able to give you a kiss on the forehead and you can’t do anything but stay still and feel tears falling down your face.

[sftwrmfics]

get away | 1 - first day

Pairing: Juyeon x Y/n

Genres: slightest bit of fluff

Summary: Y/n is a straight-A, honors student who has no time for a relationship. So, when Juyeon, the infamous campus player, starts going after you, you decide to act interested and play along, hoping that this will be done and over with quickly. But things don’t turn out the way you hoped they would.

Word Count: 3, 753

Warnings: some swear words and that this was quickly edited, haha.

Nobody expected it at all. Not even you.

How you were currently holding hands with Juyeon during your first date with him was beyond you. But, here you were, doing just that and laughing over the joke he made about the movie that you two were about to watch.

It all started about a week ago.

You were cooped up in the library, reviewing notes from your latest lecture while munching one of your favorite candy bars. It was the afternoon, so there were more people here than usual, studying or silently chatting with their friends. However, everyone was pretty much quiet, making it easy to get focused.

Pretty engrossed in reviewing, you slightly flinched in surprise when a group of boys had entered the library with a fit of laughter. Everyone around you, including yourself, shot the group of three boys looks of annoyance and, immediately, they quieted down, still snickering between themselves as they walked past you and took a seat a few tables behind you.

Thinking that you wouldn't be able to hear them, you relaxed in your seat. But, your eyebrow twitched when you realized that you could hear what they were talking about, even though they were loudly whispering.

"Are you still with that girl..." One boy brought up as soon as they sat down. "Uhm... what's her name? Jiyeon? Jisoo?"

Frustrated, you tried turning further away from them, but, unfortunately, you could still hear them.

Another boy hummed in thought. "Are you talking about Jiwon?" It seemed like he got a response as he amusedly replied. "Pfft, no, duh. I dumped her, I think, yesterday," the boy questioned, "because she was getting boring."

You could hear some rustling, shrinking further into the chair.

"Oooooh, Juyeon, you heartbreaker." The boys joked around and laughed as quietly as they could.

You had enough as you couldn't focus on your notes. So, you rummaged through your back for headphones and slipped them on, putting the volume up to blast your favorite study playlist, and continued to review your notes.

A couple of hours went by without you noticing until you had finished reviewing and looked out at the dark window in front of you. With a groan, you dropped your pen and stretched your arms above your head, relieving the tension of your muscles. You sighed satisfied at your hard work and relaxed in the chair while stretching your legs out underneath the table.

Picking up your phone, you paused your study playlist and slid your headphones off your ears, wrapping it around your neck as you checked your phone for the first time in hours.

Initially, not expecting much, you felt a bit surprised and concerned seeing three missed calls from Younghoon from about twenty minutes ago. You were about to call him back, but remembered when he had done the exact same thing to only tell you about this new bread that he found at the convenience store.

So, you sighed at the memory and opted to check if he had texted you first, opening the messages app. There on top were texts from him.

younghoonie :P - y/n where are you

younghoonie :P - aren’t you coming to the weekly movie night ???

younghoonie :P - i haven’t seen you in foreverrrrr

You scoffed and playfully rolled your eyes. I literally had a lecture with you today.

younghoonie :P - please get here soon

younghoonie :P - i think changmin and chanhee are going to fight again

With perfect timing, your phone buzzed twice, showing Changmin’s texts at the top of the screen.

squirrel changmin - i’m going to kill choi chanhee

squirrel changmin - audio message

You immediately straightened up in the chair, swiftly putting on the headphones while lowering the volume because you knew Changmin. Carefully, you pressed play and listened, in horror, to Chanhee’s distraught screams and pleas for help. In the background, you could hear Younghoon trying to calm them down but, to no avail, the screaming continued along with some banging and hectic footsteps.

For about thirty seconds, that was all you heard, then, suddenly, it became silent. Confused, you checked to see if it was still playing but heard the slightest, familiar, evil chuckle.

You shivered out of fear.

At that, you quickly packed your stuff into your backpack and walked as fast as you could to the entrance without a sound, calling Younghoon on the way.

When he didn’t answer, you huffed in frustration and frantically texted him to try his best to separate the two until you got there. But, before you sent it to him, you ran into something hard, causing you to fall to the ground.

Wincing, you rubbed your butt, hoping the pain would ease, and peeked up at what you ran into. The individual before you caused you to stop what you were doing and gape at him with wide, shocked eyes.

You recognized him.

His light brown hair, slightly tanned skin, and loose-fitting clothes were imprinted in your mind as Changmin and Chanhee always pointed him out and gossiped about him when they spotted him anywhere on campus.

It was Juyeon, the infamous campus player.

From your two best friends you heard that he dates all types of girls and treats them like they’re special, causing them to fall in love with him in a week or less. Then, afterward, he would toss them away like a piece of trash and, the next day, he would be found talking to some other girl.

At first, you didn’t believe anything that the two had gossiped about him being a player. You scoffed in disbelief, saying that they were just being dramatic and blowing up the rumors. But, when they pointed him out in a dining hall, you saw that he was flirting with some girl, and, when they nudged you the week after to look at him, he was flirting with another girl.

Seeing your shocked expression prompted them to continue gossiping about him to you. They informed you that he always dumped them in the worst ways possible. You heard that he would cheat right in front of them, by kissing someone or announcing it while with the other person. Or, if they came to confront him after a week was over, he would act as if he didn’t know anything about them, saying that they were crazy and delusional for thinking that they were ever in a relationship.

Changmin and Chanhee warned you to not get involved with him no matter what, but you didn’t need them to tell you that. You already felt angry and disgusted at the mere thought of him.

So, when Juyeon smiled down at you and asked if you were okay with his hand extended towards you, you gave him a wry smile and pushed yourself off the ground. Standing up on your own, you completely ignored him as you dusted yourself off.

In your hand, your phone started buzzing, averting your attention to it. Upon seeing Younghoon’s name on the screen, you remembered that there was an emergency and gasped.

Just as the boy in front of you opened his mouth to say something, you cut him off by replying to his question with that wry smile still on your face. “I’m okay, but I gotta run.”

Seeing his blanked-out expression, you calmly speed-walked past him and answered Younghoon’s call, who was frantically asking you when you’re going to be here. As you replied to his questions and tried to soothe the boy, you let out a sigh of relief when Juyeon didn’t do anything else.

Honestly, after what happened in the library, you thought that would be your first and last interaction with him. Especially since you ditched him like that, there was no way that he would try talking to you again.

A few days later, during lunch, you noticed him entering the dining hall near where your lecture was held. As if he felt your stare, he locked eyes with you which startled you in your seat, but before you could look away, he did so first.

Slowly placing your hand over your mouth, you internally screamed.

You were not expecting him to react like that.

Letting out a playful smile and feeling a surge of confidence that he won’t bother you, you went back to eating while happily scrolling through your phone.

Busy stifling laughter at a random Tiktok that Changmin had sent you, you failed to notice that someone had sat in the seat in front of you until a hand reached out into your field of vision and knocked on the table. Startled, you almost dropped your phone with a yelp but caught it on time to your relief, and you glanced up. Displeased at what you saw, you almost frowned but quickly covered it up with a small, questioning smile.

Why was Juyeon sitting in front of you?

You internally sighed. You had a feeling that this wouldn’t be any good.

Juyeon was already smiling, but it got wider when you made eye contact with him.

“Hey, I’m Juyeon,” then he asked, “Is it okay if I sit here?”

You almost gave him a sassy reply, telling him to find another girl to target. But, when you briefly looked around and saw all of the tables filled, you sighed and just shrugged in response. As he calmly unpacked his lunch with a smile, you looked away as you were having an internal battle.

In your head, you were yelling at yourself for being so stupid and reprimanding yourself for being too nice. You should have just flat out said no. Yet, in your heart, the growing feeling of guilt if you said no in this packed dining hall outweighed your thoughts, leading to your actions.

Although, now, the warning bells in your head were ringing louder than ever as everything that Changmin and Chanhee informed you about him raced through your thoughts. Amidst the panic, you came up with only one solution a second later.

You had to get the fuck away from him.

Trying to not show your shaking hands, you steadily increased the pace that you were eating, trying to finish the rest of your lunch without him noticing.

But, fate was not on your side as he started talking to you.

Wiping his mouth with a napkin, Juyeon smiled and asked you all of the basic, getting-to-know-you questions, like your name, major, and year.

It might be nothing. You reassured yourself. Let’s just get through this civilly.

Reluctantly, you swallowed your food and answered him.

Sighing at your responses, he dejectedly told you that he was in a different major and a year above you. He slightly pouted and looked down at his food, playing around with it for a bit.

On the outside, you just shrugged nonchalantly, but, inside, you let out the biggest sigh of relief at the fact that the chances of you two having a lecture together were low.

Getting over the feeling, he continued chatting with you, asking you a few more questions. You gave him curt replies, not looking up at him and paying more attention to your phone. After a few answers, Juyeon picked up on your disinterest and became silent, returning to eat his food, while you did the same but continued scrolling through your phone.

This was the first time that you had acted so cold to a stranger and the feeling of guilt returned, making your stomach feel queasy, but, you remembered how he hurts girls for fun and that feeling went away quickly.

After a few moments of silence, he called out your name and you glanced at him to see that he was staring at you.

You don’t know why, but you couldn’t help but stare back.

His brown eyes were shining underneath the white light of the hall and you noticed how big they were. Even though you were probably about two feet away from him, you saw his pupils gradually grow bigger as each second passed.

It seemed like… he was looking at you as if he was in love with you.

Your heart skipped a beat.

When it dawned on you what just happened, you snapped it out of and shook your head, breaking eye contact and coming back to reality.

There was no way someone could possibly fall in love after meeting twice and one conversation, especially from a player. That ominous feeling you had earlier was getting stronger. The feeling that you would be his next target.

He then peered at you with hopeful eyes. “When I bumped into you at the library and stared into your eyes, it felt like destiny.” He looked away shyly. “I know this is a bit soon and shocking, but will you go out with me?”

You were surprised, which was evident on your face as your mouth dropped open.

This couldn’t actually be happening to you.

When you pinched yourself and it hurt, you knew that you were awake.

Obviously, you were going to say no. You didn’t want to get involved with anyone who held such a reputation, and you had no time to be in a relationship.

You opened your mouth but snapped it shut, thinking through your decision carefully.

This only happened in stories and fics that you read when you were younger. In those stories, players usually chased after girls who appeared to be innocent and had no experience in love. It was considered a bonus for them if the girl appeared uninterested, motivating them, even more, to win her over. Based on that knowledge, you knew that it could take weeks to months.

And you knew that you didn’t want that either.

So, you carefully thought this through.

Changmin and Chanhee’s warnings, how Juyeon hurts girls for fun, stereotypical players like innocent girls, chasing taking weeks to months, and how Juyeon usually dumps a girl in a week.

What should you do?

Suddenly, it dawned on you, which you excitedly fist-bumped the air in your mind.

You had a plan.

For the next week, you were going to act like an innocent girl who falls in love with him, but you were also going to try to get him to fall in love with you and break his heart.

If this plan works, you get the unasked revenge for all of those girls he hurt and feel the great success of taking down a player. However, if it doesn’t, he will dump you in a week and you’ll shed a few tears. After that, you’ll call it a day and move on, knowing that he won’t contact you ever again.

Inwardly, you smirked. This will be easy.

You shyly tuck a lock of hair behind your ear and tentatively meet his hopeful eyes before saying yes.

Which leads to where you are now.

At the movie theater, walking hand-in-hand with Juyeon as he carries a bucket of popcorn in the other on the way to see some movie. You had laughed at a joke that he had made.

It’s been ten minutes since the date started, and the plan seemed to be working perfectly.

Earlier, when you met up with Juyeon, you called out his name and ran to him, engulfing yourself in his arms. Peering at him, you took note of how his cheeks were dusted pink and the tips of his ears were slowly turning the same color.

It made you inwardly grin at the sight, but you immediately let go of him, apologizing since you were a bit excited about the date. Even without saying anything, you could tell that he was dejected that you left his arms, but he gave you an eye smile and reassured you that it was okay.

Ooh, he’s pretty good at acting too. You thought. Look at him acting all sad.

Noticing your outfit, which consisted of innocent clothes that you could find in your closet, Juyeon complimented you and you pretended to like it by smiling at him then shyly looking away. You faced him to return the compliment and purposefully messed up by repeating what he had said to you. Acting like you were embarrassed, you profusely apologized to him, muttering what you were actually going to say. With a wider smile on his face, he giggled and once again reassured you that he was fine, although you could see his cheeks turning redder.

At the sight, you slightly raised your eyebrow, not even for him to notice.

He then asked to take your hand, which you gingerly took while shyly turning away. The moment that he intertwined your hand with his, you had to mentally and physically hold yourself back from yanking it out of his grip.

As you got your tickets and food, you held his hand the entire time and threw him a soft smile every so often when you caught him looking at you. And, each time, he would either smile back and you could see his cheeks turning red, or he would look away and cover his mouth with his hand. Seeing him like that, you couldn’t help but grow in confidence that your plan was actually working.

So, now, as you two were walking around just talking a bit on the way to the theater, you did bolder things. Well, bolder for you. Like, squeeze his hand or lean against his arm when someone was walking too close to you.

You could tell that he was getting flustered by your actions as now he looked red and kept looking away when you tried to make eye contact with you. Plus, when you leaned against his arm, you felt his body tense up and go rigid, then he would visibly relax when you stepped away from him.

It made you feel more confident that you could get this guy to fall in love with you.

This was going to be easy.

On the drive back to your apartment, you and Juyeon were discussing the movie that you had watched. But, right now, you were laughing at him while he pouted at you from the wheel.

“I can’t believe you cried,” you said after laughing, hugging yourself, and wiped away a few tears.

“It was sad,” he argued. “It was really sad.”

“I mean it was pretty sad,” you paused, “I was crying a bit, but then I heard you sob and, when I looked over, I saw tears were streaming down your face.” You mentioned while stifling your laughter.

“That was the saddest part!” He pointed out. “They couldn’t make their last promise of seeing each other once again come true, and you thought that would be it. But then it cuts to their gravestones being next to each other.” Pausing, he sniffled a bit. “Seeing their names carved on them got to me.” He quietly admitted, which you heard.

You wouldn’t admit it to him, but you would have sobbed too if you didn’t notice Juyeon’s tears first. Upon seeing them, you made sure to imprint his crying face into your mind because you wanted to remember it. It was the face that you will be seeing when your plan worked.

After a few more minutes of messing around with Juyeon, you arrived at your apartment complex. Pulling into a parking spot in front of your building, he parked the car. You almost let out a sigh of relief at this night being done with, although you had to admit it was a bit fun teasing him. But, just as you were going to open the door, Juyeon held his hand in front of you.

“Wait for a moment,” he asked while he turned off the engine and unbuckled his seatbelt, “stay put.”

Confused, you reluctantly did as was told, and he got out and ran to your side opening the car for you.

Actually a bit surprised, you laughed at his actions, deciding to play along once more, and curtsied, “Thank you very much, fine gentleman.”

Juyeon chuckled at that and walked you to the front of your complex with a shy smile on his face, continuing to talk with you more about the movie. You were using up a lot of your small amount of energy to laugh and talk with him. And, as you got closer to the door, you got more excited to finally get away from him.

So, when you got to the front, you turned around and stared at him with a soft smile, using the last bit of your energy.

“Goodnight Juyeon,” you tiredly said and turned around to leave, but, as you were about to bolt to the door, he stopped you by holding your arm.

What does he want?

Immediately hiding your annoyance, you innocently turned around and faced him, looking confused.

He was staring down at the ground for a few before clearing his throat and gazing into your eyes, he asked, “Is it okay if I give you a hug and a kiss on the forehead?”

Ugh. You thought. I really don’t want to.

But, you shyly nodded anyway, looking away.

He took a step closer to you and delicately wrapped you in his arms into a hug, which you timidly returned.

You two stayed in each other’s embrace for a few seconds, which felt like a lifetime to you before he pulled away and lightly brushed his lips against your forehead. That drained you of your energy.

He then smiled and pulled away, saying, "I'll text you later." Then, he turned around and was about to head over to his car.

However, your pride told you to not let him have the satisfying feeling of having the last move. So, you grabbed his arm, pulled him back, and turned him to his side, kissing him on the cheek.

Just as quickly, you released him and ran towards the door, punching in the code before running inside and around the corner of the wall. Hiding behind it, you peered out, checking to see if he was still there.

And he was. Juyeon stood there for a bit, looking dazed. His ears and cheeks tinted red, and you saw him slightly cheer by punching the air once before walking back to his car.

Once you saw him drive away, you turned around and started heading to your apartment.

This time, you didn't stop the small, confident smile growing on your face.

[sirthisisa-wendys]

The Enforcers: Part 5 (Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader)

wc: 1.7k

tw: NSFW. (It's finally happening.)

masterlist

Suguru stares at the screen in disbelief.

"I don't know what else to say," you breathe, eyes wide. "I think that we should go to the Grand Council or my parents and--"

"It's a hoax," he frowns, shaking his head. "None of this makes any sense. And I've seen fabricated shit like this before."

"But the timestamps!" you retort, pointing at the metadata.

"Those can be fabricated by using an old machine. You can't trust anything these days unless it comes from the Archives."

"But--"

"I think you need to delete these and forget about it. This is someone's sick idea of a joke, y/n." Suguru stands, scowling at the computer one last time before turning away. "I'll figure out who did this. Don't worry. Just delete that shit and don't mention it to anyone." Suguru stalks out of the room and you look at the files, dragging them to the trash before turning your computer off and trying to put it out of your mind.

_____________________________________________________________

You're back at the club with your friends, sitting among new faces and old ones just the same. But the nagging feeling that something isn't right is dragging across the pit of your stomach like a rake. When you glance at Suguru, he's laughing with his other Leviathan friends, but barely touching his only drink.

He must be unnerved by it, too, you think, and rub your forehead before watching Yuji try his best dance moves on Nobara, which fails miserably, of course. Yuki sits to your left, also watching the show with varying degrees of amusement before looking over at you.

"Why the long face, Ms. Successful? Is this too boring for you?" You consider telling her what's really bothering you, turning to her in the dim lighting and pressing your lips together. Her face changes and you know your secret can't be kept for long.

"What would you do if someone played a really bad prank on you?"

"What, did Suguru piss on your curtains?"

"Huh?" You look at her in shock, and she shrugs.

"Alright, maybe that's just a Toji thing. My bad." She sips her drink thoughtfully. "What kind of prank are you talking about?"

"Someone..." You hesitate, but decide to keep going anyways. "Someone put files on my computer to make it seem like my parents were involved with something called Project Kudzu and Project Redroot." Yuki frowns deeply, blinking rapidly.

"Y/n, I've never heard of those things before." You sigh, shaking your head. "Did they have any real proof?"

"Yeah, some audio files, two videos, and a bunch of TS-CO labeled documents that--" A hand lands on your shoulder, and you look up to see Suguru standing above you.

"That pre-game was wild, wasn't it?" Pre-game? "Sorry, Yuki. Y/n here had a whole bottle of red wine and played some weird game before coming. She's been going on about it to me for hours... projects and stuff." Yuki laughs, waving him off.

"It's okay! I was a little confused, too, but I get it. Girl," she turns to you, shaking her head. "You should probably go home and get some rest. If I had known you were drunk already I would've--"

"I'm not drunk," you reply, looking back and forth between Suguru and Yuki. "I swear, I'm not--"

"Let me get you home, party girl," Suguru mumbles, pulling you up from your seated position and gripping your hand tightly as he drags you along with him. "It's been a long day."

"But I'm not--" The look Suguru gives you is deadly, and you shut your lips as he takes you to the car you both came in, opening your door silently. You slide into the seat and he shuts the door with force, climbing into the driver's seat, but not starting the car. He grips the steering wheel and clenches his jaw, finally muttering,

"Didn't I tell you not to say anything to anyone?"

"Suguru, this has been bothering me for days! I don't know what to do!"

"I'm trying to find out who would break into your room and do this to you. Can you let me work?" he asks tersely. "For once in your life, can you let someone look out for you?" His black eyes are blazing in the dim light of the parking lot, and your bottom lip quivers.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he exhales, starting the car. "I just... I just need you to let me figure this out. Someone isn't playing nice in our own organization and if it comes at the expense of my partner, I'm not having it. Lay low for me for a while, got it?" Suguru places his hand on your thigh and you nod, feeling your heart pick up an uneven rhythm. Your mouth goes dry at his lingering touch, but before you can think about it any further, he removes his hand and pulls out of the parking lot to take both of you back to the base.

When you get back to your barracks, you pause in the living room, looking over at your Leviathan as he removes his leather jacket and deposits it on the couch, sighing. You slowly approach him from behind and touch his back, which makes him flinch a little.

"I don't know why you continue to put up with my antics," you murmur and he huffs a breath out, shaking his head. "But thank you for saving my ass... and for looking out for me." Suguru turns to you, his lips quirking up a bit.

"Little Ms. Successful is thanking me for my service? Are you drunk?" Your cheeks heat up at the nickname and you roll your eyes, about to turn away from him when he catches your wrist. "Don't do that," he breathes, bringing you in close so your chests are touching. Your breathing hitches and he raises his knuckles, grazing them over your cheek. You close your eyes at the contact, and he slides his fingers down to your chin, tilting it up and humming softly.

"Open your eyes," Geto whispers, and you do so, trying your best not to seem too flustered. He leans down, brushing his lips across yours for permission, and your close your eyes again, letting him kiss you. When his lips separate from yours, he touches your nose with his, and you raise up on your tiptoes to feel his lips on yours again. "Are you sure you want to do that?" he wonders as you pull away. You nod your head, and he laughs softly.

"I do want to keep kissing you, yes," you reply, and he wraps a hand around your waist, lifting you off your feet and wrapping your legs around him.

"Nothing good comes of that," he warns, but you scoff.

"I'd beg to differ."

And that's how you find yourself on his neatly made bed, legs pushed up to your chest as Suguru greedily laps at your cunt like a starving man. "Su..." you moan, and he grunts in response. "That feels so good."

"I bet it does," the Leviathan replies, raising his brow at you salaciously before flicking your clit with his tongue. Your toes curl painfully as he dips a finger into you, then raises it up to your lips, tugging your mouth open so you can taste yourself. You suck on the digit with pleasure, humming when he pulls it back out and finger fucks you while sucking on your clit.

You buck under his grip, but he raises off of you, denying you an orgasm so soon. Geto kisses you deeply, swiping his tongue across yours so you can taste yourself again, then sits up, motioning for you to do the same.

"You want to do this?"

"Yeah." Suguru pulls his long hair up with an elastic and removes his pants, climbing back onto the bed and sitting against the headboard. He pulls you into his lap and raises you up, allowing you to grasp his hard length before sliding onto it carefully.

"Easy, easy..." he hisses, and you slow down, taking him inch by inch. You place your arms around his neck and rock back and forth, closing your eyes when you feel all of him nestled inside of you. Suguru groans, closing his eyes and tilting his head forward onto your shoulder. "Hold on, I'm gonna lay on my back." You allow him to slide forward, and he pushes you down onto his chest with a broad hand before pumping into you methodically.

"Oh, god..." you moan, and Suguru exhales shakily. "Su, you feel amazing."

"Say it a little louder so our neighbors can hear you," he jokes, but you clench around him and his laughter is cut short. "Fuck!" The man beneath you smacks your ass, and you yelp in response. "Keep doing that and this will be over faster than you can spell your own name."

"Then fuck me and quit being a smart ass," you gripe. Suguru shrugs and mutters,

"You asked for it." before slamming his hips into your ruthlessly. You cry out at the sensations his pace brings, and he grips your wrist as you lift off of him, holding your left hand against his chest. "Stay right here, princess. I'm not letting you go for shit." Your mouth seems to maintain its "O" shape the entire time he's fucking you senseless, and you can't say a word, eyes crossing and making you see double of your partner.

"Oh, god," you finally shudder, and Suguru lets go of your hand to lean you back down, mouth latching on one of your breasts.

"Cum for me," Geto challenges you before going back to sucking on your nipples relentlessly. You feel something inside of you break - almost like a busted dam releasing a flood of sensations and emotions that you've held at bay since you arrived here. "Oh, you're doing so good," Suguru grunts, holding you as you tremble fiercely while his hips stutter. "Just let it all go."

And for some reason, tears - actual tears - come out of your eyes as if this sexual release also broke your heart in two.

"Did I hurt you?" Suguru asks, swiping at your tears with a worried expression.

"No," you reassure him, shaking your head fiercely. "Not at all."

"Hmmm..." He rests your head against his chest as his breathing slows, hands stroking your back and hair with care. "You've had a hard couple of days. Just rest, alright? I'll be here when you wake up." So, you fall asleep, trusting your partner who's never betrayed you before.

_____________________________________________________________

TAGLIST: @missbonekitty @wack0-genius @thankuary @jsqeeut@r-i-m-f-009 @sunfloweroranges @leanne-tamashi @girlruby23@rein-icu @brownskinnedgirll @chanelmalandro @savantsoulfinder @jibe-gajima @chilledlucifer @amnxsia @kontentious @fuyuko26 @everybodylovescayrayray @flare-on

[himitsukki]

𝙩𝙨𝙪𝙠𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙢𝙖 𝙠𝙚𝙞 // 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙘𝙚𝙣𝙩

warnings: none! (now edited <333)

wc: 1,927

happy birthday, my little flirefly.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

when you first met tsukishima kei, you thought he was an asshole.

now, as your boyfriend of almost two years, he’s still an asshole… that you love.

it always comes off as a surprise when you inform people about your relationship, because, quite frankly, you both seem like polar opposites: you’re a person who can calm people’s hearts with just your presence. you always try to  offer help, and you try your best to be nice, because you know the world needs it. and, it’s always free of charge.

tsukishima, on the other hand…

“i told that bastard to get away from you at lunch.“

“kei!“ you scold him with his name. “i told you before, he’s not doing anything bad!“ your boyfriend continues to complain about your classmate who “keeps staring at you”, ranting so fast that you can barely understand his words through the sounds of the video chat.

despite the fact that he always picks the video chat option over the voice call whenever he calls you at night, it’s almost always just him doing his homework, with his phone leaned against the wall, or him doing his chores from around the house, with the back camera on and his phone tucked into the waistband of his shorts; you can’t recall having a total “proper” one-on-one video chat with him, with your phones directly in front of you and replicating a face-to-face conversation .

you’ve grown accustommed to his antics, however, and grown to love how it feels so domestic to just casually ask each other about your days. you even keep track of his chores in the tsukishima hoursehold, especially after the incident when his mother told him to turn the oven off after fifteen minutes and he forgot because he was in the middle of arguing what the correct answer was to that day’s homework.

you’re currently folding laundry on your bed and decided that while you’re at it, you’ll reorganize your entire wardrobe. you had your phone rested on top of two pillows and leaned against the headboard, you took a seat by the lower half of the bed to have you visible in your camera, but with various clothes thrown atop your sheets and pillows and even draping on your headboard, you’ve lost sight of your phone. you can only hear the slightly muffled voice of your boyfriend, now that it’s buried somewhere deep in your clothes.

“hurry up already, we still have homework to do.“

“i’m sorrryy!“ you whined, quickening your pace at folding your shirts into a neat pile. “i don’t know why i even decided to do this, this is a complete waste of time.”

“at least your closet will be organized,“ he tries to reason. you whine that it’ll only stay that way for a couple of weeks, and he tells you you’re an idiot because you’ll be the one at fault for that.

“just the jackets and sweatshirts left, then i’ll be done,“ you inform him after a few minutes of silence. it’s not rare for the two of you to be silent while calling each other; both of you actually enjoy the silence, and neither of you feel obligated to fill the silence with talking, especially if it’s just about nonsense. it’s just nice that he’s still with you despite the day having ended and that he’s one bus ride away from you.

“do you still have that jacket? the one i gave you when you dug out my closet a few weeks ago?“

“uhh...” you ruffle through the remaining clothes on top of your bed. “is it the purple one? with the cresent moon at the—“

“—back of the hood? yeah.“ you fished out the said jacket and tried it on, enjoying the impossibly soft material that’s only possible through years of constant wearing. 

it fits perfectly.

“it still bothers me how ten year old you and current me most likely have the same size.“

“you’re just small and short,“ he snorts. “i bet it’s even slightly loose on you, especially at the sleeves.“

“yeah,“ you agree as you pull the cuff of the sleeve to their maximum potential without stretching the fabric too much. “it’s hanging just a little bit past the tips of my fingers.“

“you’re forever a shortcake, [name].“

“listen, i never asked to be short, okay?“ you complain, but you can’t deny that you’re smiling as you joke around with your boyfriend.

it’s beyond comforting that he’d given you his clothing from his childhood. you didn’t even ask for it (as you do with his other clothing), but you remember organizing his closet and seeing a pile of clothes that he “kept” from childhood, and when you asked him about it, he pulled out what he said was his favorite,  gave it to you with a teasing smirk and said “you’d definitely fit in this.“

“hey,“ he starts. “hurry up.“ you dismiss him by sticking out your tongue even though you know he doesn’t see you, but tsukishima knows you too much to actually do that reaction, then scolds you for being childish while teasing you about doing that even he can’t even see it.

“heeeeey.” he drags. “it’s almost nine pm.”

“i know, i only have the jackets left. sorry,” you mumbled a genuine apology, aware that tsukishima’s tired from class and volleyball practice. how he’s able to balance being a student athlete while claiming to “not care about the sport”, you’ll never know.

“hey,” he starts once again.

“last two jackets, i promise—“

“i love you.“ you nearly drop the last jacket from your hands and look over where your phone is, finally locating it with it’s screen facing the sheets; his voice was low and muffled, but you heard it loud and clear. slowly, you reached for your phone, turned it over and see him properly facing the camera, his head turned to the side with his eyes checking up his screen for your reaction every few seconds.

“that’s unfair, you’re telling me that over call? and i wasn’t even in the video chat?“

“it’s rare that i even tell you ‘i love you’ and you complain about it?” he asks, his voice monotonous but his lips growing into a small that you’ve only seen him do when he’s really happy. “unbelievable.“

“i’m done with the clothes,“ you announce, placing your phone back to its initial spot as you transfer the piles of clothes back into your closet.

“great, it only took you almost an hour, congrats shortcake.“

“thanks, asshole. you’re the best boyfriend ever.“

the night continues on with doing your homework together (and fighting over which formula to use because you’re in different classes and have different teachers, for some reason) and just before you get ready for sleep, you let the call run a little longer as you do your night time routine.

“do you actually do this everyday?“ he asks when you tell him every step of your skincare routine. “i only do the basics. that’s so tiring to do everyday.”

“you’re complaining and you’re not even the one doing it… ‘kay then.“ you jokingly roll your eyes at him as you gently pat your final layer of moisturizer on your skin. “at least i’m taking care of my skin. they’re a wonderful organ.“

“okay, weirdo.“

he proceeds to continually pester you to go to bed as it’s almost eleven, and you both have to get up at five so you can meet up an hour later at his house (his mom adores you) and walk to school together, but you ignore him and his groans of complaint as you slow your pace to annoy him even further (then he threatens to end the call, so you run to your bedroom and flop down on your bed immediately.)

“end the call. i’m tired, i wanna sleep.“

“you know you’re suppossed to go all “nooo, i don’t wanna end the call” or “you end the call, hehe” right, kei?“ he glares at you through the screen, and you can only laugh in response since his cheeks are squished on one side of his face as  he’s lying down on his side. instead of intimidating, he looks adorable.

“i’m too tired to even lift a finger,“ he says as he closes his eyes. for almost a minute, you let the call drag on, enjoying the comforting sound of his breathing and the sight of his relaxed face.

it’s rare enough to see him so unguarded and at ease; it’s in moments like these where you continuously remind yourself to appreciate and be thankful of every little thing in your relationship. 

that being said…

“hey,“ you start. he hums a reply, but you won’t take that as an answer.

“hey,“ you start once again.

“what? i was already enjoying the silenc—“

“i love you.” the second you see his eyes open, you rush to greet him a goodnight as best as you can without giggling before immediately ending the call and muting your notifications for that app until five am.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰

tomorrow starts smoothly with a wake-up call from tsukishima, your monring already complete with the sight of his bloated face and crusty eyes. he knows that you don’t care about his appearance, so he lets you see his worst visuals (in your eyes, however, he’s still unfairly handsome with all of that.)

you quickly got ready for the day; time flew by fast, and soon you’re ringing the doorbell at his gate, waving and greeting at his mom (who’s also the same thing) and greeting your boyfriend a good morning by taking out his (well, now your) jacket from last night.

he eyes you as you put it on. he’s unable to surpress his smile when he sees that the sleeves are, indeed, hanging a bit past your fingertips.

“i told you, you’re be forever a shortcake.”

“you’ve called me "shortcake” so many times, it doesn’t really mean like an insult anymore,“ you noted out loud, looking up at him through your lashes. "it doesn’t even sound like a word anymore.”

“well you are a shortcake, shortcake.”

“annoying,” you playfully chide him with a roll of your eyes. at that action, he scoffs and grabs you by the sleeves, pulling you closer and reminding you to bring out your (matching) headphones since he’ll be plugging in the audio splitter.

“what do you wanna listen to?” you hum as you think about it, but tell him to go for whatever he feels like.

you let the clean tones from the guitar relax you, enveloping you in an atmosphere where you feel like you’re starring in an anime or some kind of movie. honestly, you feel as you are in one, because you know your type of  relationship isn’t all that usual, complete opposites and all. 

with the leaves turning orange and falling slowly around you, the visuals only supplement the atmosphere, the song sounding like the OST to your and tsukishima’s story.

suddenly, you feel his finger nudging itself between the gaps of your fingers and trapping one of them in it’s grasp. looking down, you see his pinky bent at the joints to hold your little finger captive. it’s shaped like a crescent. 

looking up, you see him audibly clearing his throat, awkwardly looking away when he sees you noticing. the faint blush on his cheeks makes you laugh, and you feel the atmosphere increase tenfold.

you’ll happily be in any movie, only if it’s him by your side.

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ☼ ⋅.} ────── ⊰ 

m.list

[cafedanslanuit]

♡   f l u f f v e m b e r   2 0 2 0   ♡ 

♡  week one  —  kageyama tobio   |   long-distance relationship

♡  summary  —   getting into a relationship with kageyama was close to impossible, that you knew. nevertheless, that didn’t stop you from developing feelings for him and eventually becoming more than friends. he was constantly training and didn’t have a lot of time to spend by your side, but once kageyama found himself remembering your laugh on his way home, he decided to do whatever it took to make the relationship work.

♡  playlist

the moon song   -   beabadoobee & oscar lang home   -   bruno major blueberry eyes   -   max & suga

♡  masterlist  ♡

Every morning, Kageyama wakes up at the same hour. He puts on his running shoes, grabs his phone, keys and earphones and hits the streets. It’s been his routine since he started playing volleyball. While he ran, Kageyama preferred to keep his mind focused in his steps, the weight he was putting on his heels and toes, his heart rhythm and his mind replaying the sets he had done the day before. He didn’t see running as something he did before he trained, but as part of the training itself. Kageyama was very adamant against listening to music or a podcast during his morning runs. 

Everything changed after he met you.

Kageyama puts on his earphones and goes through his mail inbox. Like most days, he sees your name on his most recent unopened email. He downloads the audio attachment and presses play before shoving his phone back to his pocket.

“Good morning Tobio!”

His lip twitches upward.

“So, you must be sleeping right now. Which sucks! Because I just got home from work. Yes, I got safe, don’t worry. Mika and her boyfriend dropped me at my place right now. Remember Mika, my coworker? Yeah. Hey boyfriend always picks her up when we have shifts until one in the morning and they drive me home. I’m kind of tired right now.”

Kageyama hears a long yawn on your side, followed by a thud that he imagines it’s you laying on your bed.

“Let me put on some music,” you say, and a few seconds later he listens to a tune he thinks he’s heard before. “Today’s classes were just okay. I got a grade back but it wasn’t what I expected.”

“But, what can you do?” Kageyama mouths along with your voice.

“Work was also okay. Mika and I spent most of the night talking, she had had a small fight with her boyfriend and asked me for advice. It wasn’t really a big thing, you see…”

The next few minutes, Kageyama listens to you ramble about your friend and her boyfriend, but he has to admit he is paying more attention to your voice than what you were saying. He imagines himself watching you talk and the expressions he had seen you make the first time he had seen you. The tip of your tongue sticking out between your teeth after you laughed at something you shouldn’t have laughed about, the slight pout on your lips as you talked about something you didn’t like or the attentive way your eyes fixated on him while he talked about volleyball.

“Anyway, I know you don’t really care about this,” you say. “But it’s really nice to imagine you listening to me talk during your morning runs. Is it already cold there? I hope you put something on if it is. Not trying to tell you what to do. I know you, more than anyone, take your health very seriously, but I guess I can’t help but worry,” you chuckle. You stay quiet for a moment, and Kageyama basks in the comfort your silence provides.

His mind goes back to those Sunday nights when he’s watching past games on his laptop while he’s face timing with you. You are usually taking a cup of coffee, trying to forget you’ve only slept five hours after getting home from your shift at the bar. You know he has to get to bed in a couple of hours so he can get enough rest for this Monday practice, so you treasure those small moments when the time difference and both your busy schedules let you share a moment. Kageyama’s eyes are fixated on his laptop and you take the opportunity to revise some of your lessons, most of the time finding out there was a paper due next week you had forgotten about.

Every once in a while you take a look at your phone and see Kageyama’s dark eyes glued to his laptop. You bury your nose on the Schweiden Adlers hoodie he sent you last month and even if your boyfriend’s smell has almost completely worn off, you still find comfort in wearing his clothes.

When Kageyama comes back to his house to get ready for training, your voice is no longer in his ears. You always made sure not to surpass the usual time he spends running. He takes a look at the dual clock on his phone and realizes you must be still in class, so he refrains from sending a text and hops on the shower.

The fourteen hour difference between the both of you had seemed like a wall impossible to climb. Not only that but his intense training schedule plus your uni classes and your part time job also took most of your energy and it was a rare occurrence that you could sit in front of a computer at the same time.

But the connection was something he had never experienced before. He had been invited to a foreign university overseas for a tournament. The day before it started, the team had gone to the campus to get to know the facilities, and after they were done, Kageyama had left them to buy something to drink from a vending machine. Not being able to find any, he asked for directions and took the elevator to the cafeteria, not noticing someone carrying a couple of books under their arms standing next to him.

Now it seemed almost fate to remember how the elevator malfunctioned and he had to spend the next two hours with you. After pressing the Emergency button and being told it would be a while, you introduced yourself with a smile. He wasn’t really enthusiastic about getting to know each other but it all changed after he mentioned he was there because of a volleyball tournament. Kageyama can still remember your eyes widening and the questions that followed, all centered about his true passion. A few minutes later, you were sitting on the floor of the elevator, while he explained in broken English every position in volleyball and what they were supposed to do. Even though you hadn’t played any sports seriously outside of school, the fact this guy was talented enough to get invited overseas to play had spiked your attention, and you asked question after question so you could understand more about volleyball.

“So the setter is basically the key player, right?” you had asked, while he scribbled on the notebook you had lent him so he could explain.

Kageyama tried not to smile. He really did.

After you asked him about the tournament schedule and wrote down the name of his team, you promised you would do your best to make it to the game. Kageyama had never really cared about people coming to his games to watch but, once he had won the first game as was leaving the court, his eyes unexpectedly met yours and he saw you waving at him for the bleachers with a smile. He nodded at you and as he disappeared through the gym door he thought maybe someone going to see his games wasn’t so bad.

One week later, Kageyama’s team had won the tournament, and since you had asked for his number while waiting inside the elevator, you offered to buy him something from the cafeteria after the final match. This time, he took the time to listen to you ramble about your career, and how enthusiastic you were about it. He didn’t understand most of the things you talked about, most of your words sounding foreign and new to him. But the one detail he did recognize at first glance was the way your pupils dilated while you spoke. Your hands moved faster than usual as you tried to explain, and you even used the salt shaker on the table as a prop to help you out. The glimmer in your eyes was the same nature as the burn he used to feel in his chest whenever he talked about volleyball. You promised to stay in contact and gave him a small but tight hug when it was his time to leave. He hoped you didn’t notice the pink tint on his cheeks before you went away.

Your love confession came two months after he was back in Japan, followed by the longest and hardest conversation the two of you had ever had. He explained his strict training schedule and you talked about your university increasing the hardness of the classes you took and how little time you had left. A long silence filled the room, and you realized maybe you should have kept the confession to yourself. It was never going to work. There were too many impediments so maybe it would have been better to push down whatever you felt. In the end, you two weren’t supposed to meet and--

“I’d like to try it.”

You can still remember the blush on his cheeks and furrowed eyebrows after blurting out those words. You smiled brightly at him and nodded, enthusiastically.

“I’d like to try too.”

It had been one year and six months since then. To find someone who not only understood his crazy schedule but was passionate about their own work felt surreal to Kageyama. Your plan was to finish your career in your home country and then move to Japan. You had been auditing the Japanese classes at your uni and taking a part time job to be able to support yourself as you settled in a new country. All of those changes meant less time to be able to talk with Kageyama as much as you did before. He assured you he understood, even if he would never admit out loud he missed you as well.

The situation prompted you to find other ways to feel close to him, hence why Kageyama woke up almost every day with a new audio file from you. You went from talking about your day to making him listen to music and even took the chance to practice your japanese. His English listening skills had also gotten better in the past year, all thanks to talking with you and how you would slow down your pace and repeat yourself if he ever needed to. While you recorded your audios after work, he usually recorded his after practice while he walked home from practice. Even if he was always a little worried about the length, you always made sure to send him messages about how happy you were to hear his voice while you ate your lunch or walked to your job after your classes.

Kageyama finishes his shower and comes back to his room. He gets ready in less than ten minutes in silence, knowing he doesn’t have any time to spare if he wants to get to the practice in time. Winter break is a month away, and he wants to give his best before he’s forced to step away for a couple of weeks. He has never liked holidays stepping in his routine, but he knows there was nothing he could do but endure and wait for his training to resume.

Before he leaves, Kageyama checks his phone again and opens the newest email.

Congratulations! Your flight booking is confirmed.

Okay, maybe he is looking forward to winter break after all.

[terrm9]

Cieli di Toscana

Words count: 1 600

Author’s note: I love Italy and Italian language, I miss hearing it, I miss eating gelato and the sea and I like Bocelli. That’s it, that’s all you need to know to understand this fluffy useless piece. Also, I tried to translate that one line the best I can, but my Italian is mediocre at best, so if someone from Italy sees it - please, feel free to correct my translation and don’t hate me if I got it absolutely wrong.

Takes place some weeks after the OHSY Finale.

It was raining heavily as Chiara stepped into Ethan’s car, making her sigh. 

“This is absolutely terrible weather for a road trip,” she rolled her eyes dramatically, earning an honest chuckle from Ethan.

They weren’t going on a road trip. They were invited to attend a conference in New York and as much as Ethan hated those, the vision of three whole days with Chiara, out of reach of the chaos that’s been erupting in Boston ever since Edenbrook’s closing and its subsequent grand re-opening, was enough for him to make a decision to go.

The excruciating rate of their lives in those past few months has also been reason why Ethan decided to drive for four hours to New York. Four hours on their way back and another four on their way back, eight full hours of the two of them being next to each other without anyone else’s presence, with nothing better to do than to simply be together. Hell, even if Chiara decided to just sleep the whole time, those eight hours of her peaceful sleep would be worth the time spent in a car.

“Okay, if you don’t want to start with my playlist,” Chiara waved indefinitely with her phone in the hand, “you better have something else than an audio book to listen to.”

To be absolutely honest, Ethan wouldn’t mind listening to her playlist if that would serve her best, however he gestured towards the dashboard on Chiara’s side of a car.

“There should be some old CD’s in there.”

Opening a storage space of the dashboard, Chiara raised her eyebrow at him and exclaimed: “Some old what? Have you ever heard of the possibility of connecting your phone to the radio?”

Ethan resisted his urge to pinch the bridge of his nose as he was in the middle of overtaking a truck. He knew what was coming and that he didn’t dispose of any power that could stop it.

“I remember the times when the only way to listen to something of your choice in a car was to use a CD. I said they were old.”

Chiara rolled her eyes, not even trying to hide the smirk that found its way onto her face. Of course he would remember that.

“Remind me again, which dinosaur was your favorite? You know, since you were lucky enough to live among them.”

“This joke is getting old.”

He regretted the words the moment they left his mouth, knowing that they would backfire terribly.

“Yes, and so are you,” Chiara replied without missing a beat, her triumphant grin so wide Ethan was sure her cheeks hurt.

She grabbed the first CD, disapprovingly muttering under her breath.

“Vivaldi, Sinatra, Schoenberg, another Sinatra, Bocelli? I know this one,” she turned to him with Italian tenor’s album in her hand.

Ethan glanced at her quickly and nodded, encouraging her to develop her statement.

“My mom loves Bocelli, like really loves, loves. I remember when this particular album came out, I was maybe eight or nine at the time and my mom would listen to it on repeat, all day for two solid weeks,” she chuckled to herself at the memory and decided to put the CD into the radio, letting herself get lost in the memories of her childhood. “My dad was going crazy, always shutting himself in his study to listen to Queen or David Bowie. I would usually follow him and when I asked him why he didn’t tell her to turn it off, he’d just smile, shrug and say something about the music making my mom happy.”

Chiara listened to the first track, the melody all too familiar despite not hearing it for at least fifteen years. It sounded like her parents and home and love. The unconditional love her father always held for her mother, the one that grossed her out when she was a kid and caused her to have unfulfillable expectations from boys when she was a teenager.

She always dreamt of meeting a man that would love her that way, the man that would listen to the music he hated and she loved just because it would make her happy.

Shaking her head slightly to get herself out of the dangerous waters of her mind, the waters of nostalgy, the waters of infinite sadness she felt when thinking about her dad and her brother and how they would never get to decide if Ethan deserved their precious Chia, their light, she cleared her throat and read the title written on the plastic cover of the CD.

“Cieli di Toscana. Do you know what that means?” she turned to Ethan, thankful that the traffic kept him from noticing how lost she’s been for the last few minutes.  

"Skies of Tuscany," Ethan replied, not tearing his gaze of the road.

Chiara smiled to herself, her mind taking her back to all those documentaries she's seen about that part of Italy.

"They must be bewitching. Skies of Tuscany, I mean," she leaned further into her seat, the soft melody of second song making it easier to just imagine being there, far away from struggles Boston had in store for her. "Have you ever been to Tuscany?"

Ethan nodded, his sharp gaze melting slightly as his focus has been divided between driving and reminiscing his time in Europe.

"Once. I've been attending a conference with Naveen in Florence. I hardly had any spare time for sightseeing and yet the city managed to render me speechless as I walked its narrow streets."

Despite his efforts to find a better word for the city, all he could think about, back then in Florence, was how romantic its streets were. He could still remember how his whole body both loved and hated the atmosphere and how, when he surly muttered that it was city made for couples, Naveen would laugh and say: „If you are clever enough not to repeat my mistakes, you will come back with a woman of your life one day and belong to those scandalous couples.“

Another memory flashed in his mind, too bright and fresh for his liking. The one where, laying on the thick fabric of hazmat suit that protected his chest, tears streaming down her cheeks slowly, Chiara admitted that she regretted not travelling more while she could.

„I’ll take you there, when this chaos settles down and we’re allowed to take some time off. I’ll take you to Tuscany then,“ he said softly, quietly, pretending to concentrate on the road, which must have looked absolutely ridiculous as the highway was currently deserted. He hoped Chiara didn’t notice how flushed the back of his neck suddenly became.

She didn’t.

Chiara was biting her cheek, staring back and forth at Ethan and the road. Her own cheeks were colored in a bright pink color, the sincerity of Ethan’s words making her weak.

It wasn’t only the fact that he remembered about her dream of visiting Italy. It wasn’t even about the way he told her, that he would take her. It was the fact that planning his future with her came so naturally to him at this point, he didn’t even need to think about it.

Lost in her thoughts once again, Chiara didn’t notice how Ethan’s eyes widened few seconds into fourth song when the recognition hit him.

It was the song he liked the most, the song that he would listen quite often to back in the days when this album kept him company on the roads.

It was the song that, just like the city of Florence, used to make that small, almost negligible part of him wish that he had someone to share it with.

With the rain falling heavily on the windshield, Chiara couldn’t hear Ethan’s almost unaudible singing. She could’ve easily miss it, if she didn’t notice his lips moving.

„Are you singing?“ she asked, absoltutely shocked. She caught him humming various melodies sometimes, but never in her whole life would she believe to see Ethan Ramsey sing.

‚Scusi se mi innamorai in un istante di lei per

l'aria serena che ha.‘

„Absolutely not,“ he shook his head, the wave of heat on his neck becoming almost unbearable. „I am reciting the lyrics, at best.“

How cute, Chiara thought.

However, she didn’t want to ruin the moment and so instead of teasing him mercilessly, she asked: „What does it say? The part that you absolutely weren‘t singing.“

„Excuse me if I, in an instant, fall in love with her for the air of serenity she has. Very freely translated.“

„How do you know the lyrics so well?“

„I like the song.“

„Sure, liking the song is one thing, but knowing – and singing – the lyrics is another. Especially when the lyrics is as soft as this one. Is the song special to you?“

She tried to ask it as casually as she could, as if she was simply curious, when really, there was a hint of jealousy blooming in her chest.

Was the song special to him? Did he use to recite it to his first girlfriend trying to impress her?

The car stopped at the red light, giving Ethan a chance to finally look at the woman next to him fully.

„It is now,“ he nodded, smiling softly as he caressed her cheek with his thumb.

The expecting and so vulnerable green eyes staring back at him made his heart flutter. At this point, it was useless to pretened that he wasn’t utterly and terribly sappy when it came to her. Taking a deep breath, just before the red light turned to green, he whispered.

„The name of the song is Chiara.“

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Go Faster Stripe has four John-Luke Roberts shows, from 2017, 2018, 2019, and 2022 (some recorded later, I think, but those were the Edinburgh years):

I'd seen a couple before, and I recently bought the other two and decided to watch all four. Then I decided to hold off on doing that, because I learned that GFS filmed a bunch of his older shows in Edinburgh this year, because he performed his entire back catalogue on various nights. Including that one particularly famous one, where I believe he did the ultimate dead dad show, which I'd quite like to see. So I thought I'd wait until those other ones come out and watch them all at once.

Then I decided I did not actually want to wait, so I watched all four in an afternoon yesterday, and my God, are they ever good. They're so good. And I cannot understand why I find them so easy to enjoy, when I usually find stuff like that difficult. I was inspired to go find that stuff from watching all the 2019 ACMS streams, and in those videos, I saw enough different acts to know that I definitely don't always enjoy watching people do stuff where the reason it's funny is not immediately obvious. Sometimes I can get it, if I put some effort in. If I make myself watch it for a bit, and try to understand what's going on here, what might be considered entertaining about it, and then, through concentrated effort, I can be entertained.

Absolutely none of that is required when I watch John-Luke Roberts, and I still can't work out why I respond to his stuff so much more easily. Aside from the obvious guess, which is that he's just better at it than most people are. When you break it down he's basically just doing sketch comedy. It's absurdist theatre and everything, but it's also very funny sketches.

I think it might also make a difference that he's not as reliant on physical comedy, as a lot of people who do the "alt-comedy"-type stuff. I don't mean "reliant on physical comedy" as though that's a bad thing, lots of people like physical comedy. But for me, in general, something looking funny doesn't usually tend to make me laugh as much as someone saying funny stuff. John-Luke Roberts, in the shows I saw, has fewer props than I'd have expected. He wears a bunch of different costumes, but none of those are what make him funny. Which I know because, to be honest, before I watched that show of his with the title like an MIA song, I heard an audio-only bootleg of it (I have now paid for that show on GFS and watched the video, he has my money, it's okay). That show has his blue moustache and things like that, but even without any visuals, it was still very, very funny. I'm not sure that could be said about most comedy that can also be described as "absurdist theatre".

Also, his shows still followed the basic idea of a really good stand-up show. They had an underlying point, they built up to their message, the seemingly disconnected bits tied together and got recontextualized as it went along, he had callbacks and structure. It was easy to follow the overarching stuff, as well as laughing at all the smaller jokes along the way.

...I realize I may be praising these shows in ways that could be viewed as terrible insults, depending what kind of comedy you like. "John-Luke Roberts' wild alternative incredibly creative absurdism is great, because it's not that different from a normal stand-up or sketch show." I don't mean to say it like that, there's obviously lots of other stuff going on there, including what I'm sure is lots of stuff that goes totally over my head and I don't have enough artsiness credentials to understand it all. But I can understand enough to really, really enjoy it. I mean "accessible" in a good way, I promise!

Anyway, these four shows were fucking fantastic. All four of them, and I can't wait for the others that are going to get released soon. They made me laugh out loud so many times, and even if I don't know how to analyze exactly why I loved them so much, that's the main thing that mattered. I laughed a lot. I surprised myself with how often I laughed, how easily I got drawn in to all his worlds, and as I said, how easy it was to enjoy.

I don't even know if I can pick a favourite. After Me Comes the Flood is amazingly impressive, to me, for how he makes everything, visual and verbal and conceptual, fit together like a beautiful puzzle. Look Upon My Works got some of the hardest laughs out of me with all the different characters. A World Just Like Our Own wins in the Touching Message department. But I think the MIA song-titled one is probably my favourite overall, for everything going on in it, it's amazing. Absolutely brilliant stuff, all of it. If anyone wants to laugh a lot and get to feel smart for enjoying a type of comedy that's usually challenging, go buy those GFS videos.

[cjstalkingstarwarsagain]

hi! i’ve recently decided to rewatch all the star wars movies and take notes on them and then,,, share them with you. so if you’re even mildly interested in my star wars opinions, here you go :)

i’ll divide it into a couple categories so,,,

well start with rogue one!!

shit that made me giggle

"oh look, here’s lyra back from the dead. it’s a miracle."

everything K2 says and does. i love him and he’s perfect.

i love the continuous attempts by K2 to appear imperial and how he fails every time. not a single storm trooper or officer ever believes him when he starts running his mouth.

so sorry but bohdi getting his cable caught and trying to shake it loose is such an adorably human moment. makes me giggle every time.

i honestly thought this section would be longer, this movie made me laugh a bunch. 

stuff i don’t like or doesn’t make sense

why does jyn start believing in the rebellion? there’s no indication that she cared before they found her. there’s no real turning point that we can see. she just,,, suddenly is really into this shit. which is strange because the only reason she ever joined was because she was given a non-choice (either help or get put back in prison). i guess i can kinda see how her father dying could have changed her, but we see none of that on the ship after his death. we just get to the rebel council and all of a sudden she’s the poster girl for rebellion.

saw seems really stable at the beginning of the film, so why did he go seemingly crazy and paranoid? it’s probably explained in the novelization but that’s no excuse to just have a character go crazy with really no explanation or backstory.

that being said, a lot of the character development is pretty lacking. i don’t think i’d care about these characters nearly as much if i wasn’t already a star wars fan.

video game cut scene style general tarkin

bor gullet is supposed to make you lose your mind but bohdi was pretty much fine after like,,, a day

how does the death star,,,, move?? like i know it can but has that ever been explained? is it like little thrusters? like the ones you can see in real life to stabilize things in space? there’s nothing i can visually see. i’m not mad about it i just wanna know.

why does saw insist on staying behind? why doesn’t he come and help?? it would have been so easy to just leave but he insists on staying behind and just watching as death inches closer. i think it doesn’t make sense because we know *so little* about his character. give me more on him, make me understand.

since james earl jones is getting older, vader sounds older. was there??? nothing the audio or editing department could have done about that??? not super mad about this one just because darth vader is really cool and i’ll never really complain too much about darth vader screen time.

when the fuck did jyn become a motivational speaker??

my one gripe about pretty much every star wars movie is the sheer number of times people climb through huge shafts and jump around and shit and they’re always *fine*. no way they wouldn’t fall to their deaths in any normal situations.

can someone?? check the science of the hammerhead corvette?? because there’s no gravity or weight in space right?? theoretically all you gotta do is give that star destroyer a bump and it’s spinning out, right?? i know absolutely nothing about space physics but i gotta be right. maybe i’m wrong. i dunno. i’m dumb as rocks. hear that baby girl?? it’s the spare change rattling around in my skull. i got pennies where my brain is.

absolutely no fucking shot cassian survived a blaster hit AND that fall AND climbed out. my belief simply cannot be suspended that much.

DUDE I FORGOT THAT THE DEATH STAR CAN TRAVEL THROUGH HYPERSPACE HOW DOES WORK SOMEONE TELL ME!!!!!

why doesn’t vader just,,, force grab the plans. i know he sees them. why not just force stop the guy running away with them??

final note now that the movie is over. yes, it’s got a lot of issues. the plot is ehhh at times. the trailers don’t match up with the movie shots AT ALL (i wanna know what happened behind the scenes with that). the character development is lacking in many major ways (that has not stopped me from loving these characters though, but that’s the autism talking). but like i’ll say in the "stuff i liked" section, this is such a damn cool movie. i was once talking about it with an older friend of mine and he said seeing rogue one in theaters felt like watching the original trilogy in theaters back in the 70s and 80s and honestly that’s such a compliment. i love this movie, i really do.

just cool shit,,, you know the vibe

DEATH TROOPERS

krennic is probably one of my favorite imperial officers. for some reason he just really sells it for me, the evil and manipulation that borderlines in try hard. and (i mention it more later because you see it more in the "choke on your aspirations" scene) beyond that just the fact that he’s?? a guy. just a dude. at any given moment he could be described as just hanging out. but he’s trying so hard (for whatever reason, we don’t know his evil motivations) to be this big bad evil dude. and it’s just interesting to see someone *trying* to be imperial and *trying* to be evil, as opposed to a tarkin-type character who’s just naturally an asshole.

i love the rogue one main theme. don’t even talk to me. it’s so cool.

it’s cool to see more about the birth of the death star, seeing other people learn about it. sort of realizing the fear and terror that everyone must have been experiencing. especially after being a star wars fan for so long and being like, yeah it’s the death star it’s just a staple of this universe. it reminds me that "oh god this was a planet killer and this was the first time something like that had ever even been heard of".

there’s gorgeous visuals in this movie.

i like the "i’m wanted in 12 systems" guy cameo (did you know his name is cornelius? i googled it)

when the storm trooper asks for papers?? like fuck yeah show me what life is like under imperial rule. give me that shit.

chirrut is so badass i’ll never get over it

"i’m one with the force and the force is with me" i’m eating that shit UP! salivating over the meal in front of me. i really want more exploration of the guardians and jedi worship in general. like gimme that weird funky space religion.

seeing an at-st just walk around a town. i dunno i like that shit.

K2 saying sorry for hitting cassian. i’m so soft on this robot.

"clear of hostiles,,,, ONE HOSTILE"

jyn stepping in front of K2 to protect him after she (not ten minutes ago) made the comment “i’m just afraid they’ll miss you and hit me”. jyn,,, your soft side is showing,,,,

i like the cool machine blaster that baze has. it’s awesome seeing different blaster styles when originally the only variation we really saw was chewie’s cross bow style blaster.

i really wanna see more of baze and cirruit. i wanna know what happened that made baze stop believing. i wanna know how they met. i wanna see them evolve and grow together.

i like that jyn argues that 16 is too young to be a solider (she’s 21 in the movie). i like that she’s mad that she’s young and has been put in a position to protect herself and then later save the galaxy. (for context: luke and leia were 19 in a new hope. anakin is 19 in attack of the clones, ~22 when he became darth vader, and rey is 19 in force awakens. stop putting the fate of the galaxy in the hands of people who are *barely* adults)

the testing of the death star is awesome. love seeing wicked cool space weapons. when it blocks out the sun? ominous as hell fuck yeah.

it’s interesting that baze says cassian doesn’t look like a killer, that "he has the face of a friend", when one of the first things we saw him do was kill a man. i think about that a lot. does that say more about baze’s ability to read people or does it say more about who cassian is deep down, beyond what he’s done to serve the rebellion?

cassian’s relationship with death and killing is very interesting. you could argue that cassian is just as brainwashed and deep in the rebellion as anyone imperial. i really hope it’s something that gets explored in his stand alone show. he mentions he’s lost everything and has been a rebel since he was 6. gimme cassian andor backstory.

"careful not to choke on your aspirations director" is probably some of the most dramatic-anakin-skywalker shit i’ve ever seen vader do

i like seeing rebel infighting. so often it seems there’s always general consensus about what the rebellion wants, but it’s good to see that they don’t always agree on how to rebel.

i love the consistent "found family" rebel alliance shit in these movies. it makes my dick so hard.

ARTOO AND THREEPIO CAMEO FUCK ME UP THOSE ARE MY BOYS

okay i totally get that the empire is evil, i really do, but rogue one (and lots of moments in the sequels) really reminds me how fucking cool some of their shit is. like death troopers? imperial droids like K2? the base on scarif? vader’s castle on mustafar and his bacta tank?? fuck me UP.

i loved hearing the troopers doing their dumb small talk about the T-15s on the beach.

i think ben mendelssohn is perfect for the role of krennic, no notes there. he’s just like?? a guy and he’s doing everything he can to fit into this evil role and he just wants to be like this big bad imperial boy on campus. i don’t know. i don’t have the words right now to express how fuckin awesome he is. i’ll write an essay about it later.

THE AT-AT COMING OUT OF THE MIST?? CHRIST ON A BIKE. LAY ME TO REST. LOVE IT.

fucking love me some female fighter pilots. the women of star wars are so badass. doing justice to my return of the jedi ladies.

i think a whole lot about jyn giving K2 a blaster. the way he takes it and looks at it and holds it so gently. i think that’s the first time a human has trusted him with a blaster since his reprogramming. he seems so appreciative of that trust.

i love seeing the faces of baze and the other rebels when a few of the x-wings show up and take down an at-at. i’m so very soft for the relationship between these rebels. not to be cliche, but the *hope* that they have. it’s so moving. this movie is just so full of that quintessential rebel feeling.

hey so i’m super emotional about the death of K2 okay? because in the novelizations you learn that in the last second k2 had before a full shut down, he ran a simulation where cassian lived and even though he knew it was impossible, it made him happy. FURTHERMORE K2 is very well known and his name is often listed along side jyn’s in terms of talking about the history of the rebellion.

chirrut and baze’s deaths are so important to me. we know they’re best friends, and even though we don’t know how long they’ve been together, they love each other so deeply. chirrut being the path for baze to return to the force? touching. i so wish these dumb force husbands could have had more screen time. baze calling chirrut back?? chirrut telling him to find him in the force?? baze looking to see the man he loves one more time before he dies??reminds me of the silken quote about dying in your best friends arms because it’s all you know. anywho,,, if star wars canon has any mercy then these two lovers are force ghosts together rn. don’t care how you feel or whether you "ship" them or not. love comes in so many forms and they encompass all that love.

terribly sorry but i think about those two star destroyers colliding with the rogue one main theme playing over it every day. it’s,,,,, so,,,, ( ´∀｀)

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again BEN MENDELSSOHN??? UH YEAH

krennic watching his weapon (his beautiful, successful weapon) power up and kill him,,, the poetic justice of it all,,,,

any time anyone says "may the force be with you" i dunno maybe it’s my religious trauma but i’m head over heels for that good shit

the star destroyer coming out of hyper space as the rebels are escaping and some of the ships hit the destroyer?? one of my favorite things in the new star wars movies is directors and writers saying "oh this can totally happen" and they DO IT

jyn mentioning earlier in the film that she isn’t used to people sticking around when shit hits the fan and then dying in the arms of cassian?? because he stayed?? and for the first time she has someone??

in that same vein: cassian also says earlier in the film that he lost everything too. his connection with jyn is also important to him, just as important as it is to jyn. they need each other. i can’t remember who on this hellsite said it, but someone mentioned that they hope the stand alone cassian stuff coming out doesn’t make him this swindling playboy who fucks around a bunch. i think having him as more of like?? a mandolorian type character would be really cool. like he’s a rebel assassin: make him one. make him independent and badass and cool and DONT give him a bunch of romantic or sexual interests because then that downplays the clear love he had developing for jyn. again LOVE COMES IN FORMS BEYOND BASIC SHIPS. and there’s a lot of love in star wars.

i’ve said it a million times but vader is so cool and over and over again this movie reminded me that he’s actually so scary. i saw star wars for the first time when i was 6 and i can’t remember my initial reaction to him, but i’ve definitely (like with the death star) been desensitized to the fact that if i was in star wars, darth vader would scare the shit out of me. he’s *scary* and that’s cool. i liked seeing vader effortlessly go fucking mad on these rebels. then you understand why they were so scared in that first scene of a new hope.

no i absolutely will not get over the vader scene. i won’t. his saber turning on. his force abilities. his effortless lightsaber work. the choral music over the scene with the hectic orchestra. don’t touch me i’m emotional.

i loved seeing leia. it touches me so deeply every time.

fuck i love this movie despite all its faults.

if you’ve made it this far, thank you!! i hope you enjoyed. please remember that this is totally a safe space for all star wars opinions and you can feel free to disagree with me! i’d love to hear what some of you thought :))

[reincarnated70sbaby]

star crossed

-chapter four-

*disclaimer: this work is entirely fiction, all scenes with real life people presented in this work are entirely fictitious.*

word count : 2.4k

warnings : angst! (af!) swearing ?  charlie watts being unbothered as ever, did i mention angst?

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After a couple drinks in, the conversation of recording a track started up. Jimmy was actually quite excited, a Rolling Stones and Jimmy Page track was bound to happen sometime. Sure, Jimmy had played with them in his session days, but not anything to the extent of actually being featured and credited for the track. They decided to come back tomorrow to Bill’s home studio to record a track that might feature on the upcoming Goats Head Soup album. Two nights previous, he finished up the English leg of the 72/73 tour. In a couple weeks, Led Zeppelin would be embarking on their biggest tour yet - the 73 North American tour. There was plans to record a concert film and album, and Jimmy was really hopeful everything would work out.

“Lads I’m about to fucking pass out here, I’m out, see you all tomorrow yeah?”

“All right Jim, see y’a tomorrow, not to early mate right?”

After agreeing to come in the early afternoon with Bill , he bid goodnight to the rest of crew there, Charlie and the pianist for the album, Nicky. Sure, they weren’t as wild as the Toxic Twins, but they were still good company - better than getting drunk in his hotel room alone.

Walking back to his hotel room, the walk felt much longer than 10 minutes. Even though it was the beginning of February, and therefore the start of spring, he had to wrap his arms around himself to preserve body heat.

Reaching the hotel lobby, he was met with the warm air of the large room. Red carpets and gold accents adorned the room. It was quite late in the night - or early in the morning, so he decided to skip going to the bar in hopes of picking up a partner and instead, head straight to his room. On his way into the elevator, he passed two women, both wearing sunglasses. He thought that peculiar, and even more peculiar, he thought he recognised the woman with short brunette hair. After attempting to place the woman, he concluded he was in no state of mind to try.

Laying down on his bed, his thoughts wondered to Alice. He hadn’t heard anything about her since they were last together. He wasn’t even sure if she was still in the music business. He wondered would he ever see her again. He hoped he would, but a feeling in his gut told him it would happen eventually. Sooner, or later, he thought.

Waking up slightly hungover, he showered and prepared for the day of recording ahead. It wasn’t to be a serious session, more of a jam of sorts and hopefully produce a track in the process.

Strolling casually into Bill’s recording studio, he noticed that, as per usual, everybody was there expect Mick. On second look he noticed that Mick Taylor was not there either.

“Where are the Mick’s?”

“I think Jagger is just late, but oh, theres Taylor there now!”

Just as Keith finished speaking, Mick Taylor walked in, guitar case in hand. This would be the first time Jimmy and Mick played together, and he hoped they would get on well.

“Jimmy, great to see you again, ready to play?”

“Nice to see you too, lets get down to it shall we boys?”

Mick Jagger had finally arrived, so he and Keith were working on lyrics, while Charlie and Bill were working on rhythms and riffs, leaving Jimmy and Mick Taylor to work out the main guitar melody. They worked really well together, as they both had the same blues origins and both loved incorporating it into new material.

“So who's the sound tech here anyway” Jimmy asked, while in the process of tuning his guitar down.

“Allie, she's been with us for the album, she's great, have you met her before?”

“Hmm, the name doesn't sound familiar I don't think”

“Well she had an appointment, so she’ll probably be here within the next hour” Mick commented, a shy smile coming onto his face when mentioning her.

After around half an hour of messing around, the boys were finally ready to start the recording tapes. All that stopped then was the missing sound tech.

“Good afternoon boys, I, being your guardian angel have brought lunch for all of us” Alice said cheerily, bursting through the door with a bright smile.

Jimmy’s head shot up at the sound of her voice, suddenly connecting all the dots. The feeling in his gut about meeting her, the woman in the hotel, and the ‘Allie’ nickname.

“Oh thank you Alice, forgot to mention we invited a special guest to join our entourage, last night at Bill’s after you and Taylor left” spoke Mick Jagger with his usual eloquence.

“Alice!”

“Jimmy” Alice replied curtly, a hint of sourness in her blank expression. Jimmy was now in front of Alice, greeting her.

“It’s a pleasure to see you again, its been what, nearly four years! I didn’t even know if you were still an audio tech” Jimmy said warmly, excited to see her again

“I would say it’s a pleasure to see you too, but its not, so I wont” Alice casually said, blanking him, and moving further into the room. She set the bags of fresh food on the table, in the back of the recording section of the large hall. Jimmy watched her walk away casually, totally taken off guard by her coldness. The rest of the Stones all caught this too, extremely confused, but a little entertained by their encounter.

“Wait, you guys know each other?” Keith asked, a small smirk on his lips, pointing between the two.

“I would say used to know, I was on of the engineers on Zeppelin II in 69”

“Hold on, I didn’t know you worked Zeppelin II? That means you must have been a teenager when you worked on it. Blimey” Mick, asked, all of this coming news to him, as well to the others. 

“I suppose you wouldn’t, after all I wasn’t even credited, nor my boss Tom” Alice said coolly, still not turning away from setting up the various soups and sandwiches. 

Obviously, the teenage Alice that Jimmy once knew was long gone. 

“God, Allie you look so old, what are you now? Twenty four, twenty five” Jimmy asked, sampling the new nickname, trying to break the stifling awkwardness that now infected the room.

“Still getting my age wrong I see, Jimmy. Im surprised you still know my name, after all the stunts you pulled over the last four years” Alice replied, walking directly towards Jimmy, accompanied with razor sharp glare. She now stood directly on front of him, slightly invading his personal space. She has grown taller and her face matured, loosing the slight roundness to her cheeks she once possessed. She apparently had cut off her long wavy crimson locks, in favour of a modern, dark brown bob.

“Uh, what’re you talking about?” Jimmy asked chuckling nervously as he scratched his head, hoping she wouldn’t notice his feigned innocence.

“Oh I’m sure you know, as does everyone else in this room. I don't really have the energy to continue this irrelevant conversation, or frankly, any conversation in general with you at this point. Also, it’s Alice to you” Alice stated sternly with a finger pointed to his chest. Jimmy could practically see the ice swirling in her cool blue eyes, the eyes he had come to miss over the years. He had never had encountered her true, red headed temperament. Now that he was on the receiving end, he desperately wanted to stay away from it.

“I’m not really hungry anyway, so I’ll be in the mod room if you guys need me” Alice said, directing her words to everyone but Jimmy, before leaving and entering the conjoining mod room. Mick Taylor quickly set his down his burnt orange Les Paul, then followed Alice out of the room.

“Woah, I haven’t seen drama like this since the last time Mick and Bowie had an arguement - which was last week, I think hmm” Keith remarked with a sarcastic finger on his chin, before moving to serve himself some soup.

“Actually Keef, I think this charade is a lot more entertaining than David’s and I’s little tiffs, as this is bit more of a lovers quarrel”

“Better not let Taylor hear that, or he’ll have to have a word with you Pagey” Bill commented, wide grin now on his face.

Jimmy was now the confused one. He turned to Charlie, silently asking him about Alice and Mick with the point of his finger. Charlie simply shrugged his shrugged his shoulders in response before going back to drumming a riff with the hi-hats and snare drums.

After everybody had ate or, cooled off, recording was finally underway. After a couple of takes, Alice interrupted to give some pointers.

“Look boys, I’m gonna be candid with you all. It sounds shit” Alice said into the mic. Ever since she had gotten more experience under belt, she became renowned for her no bullshit opinions. In turn, people valued her honestly and knew what she said was, more often than not, right.

“Yeah, boys let’s not sugarcoat it, we’re not exactly gelling as one” Keith commented, starting to become fed up with having to balance not only Mick Jaggers usual dramatics, but another egotistical lead guitarist in the mix.

“Okay, what do you think love?” Mick Taylor asked softly, trying to keep the peace before something erupted. He wasn’t wrong, the Stones, along with a quarter of Led Zeppelin, and a hot headed tech was a bit of a lethal cocktail. Fights often combusted quickly between the Stones and Alice, as all members were just as stubborn as each other.

“Well it sounds like there’s 5 Stones, and 25% Led Zeppelin playing. What I want, and what fans want to hear is The Stones featuring Jimmy Page. You five need to change your usual routine of recording for once and mix it up. And you” she looked to Jimmy “need to stop pretending you’re with the other boys. You both need to work with each others strengths and quit overcompensating. Stop pretending you’re something you’re not”

Everybody in the entire house probably could pick up that the last sentence was a direct jab to Jimmy. Another awkward silence passed, ultimately stemming from a staring contest between Alice and the famed guitarist.

“Oh my fucking god, kill me now” Mick muttered, pinching his nose, while Charlie just rolled his eyes and started drumming the start of the song. Eventually Keith started the riff with Mick Taylor,along with Bill and Charlie carrying the bass and percussion, and Mick Jagger singing the lyrics. Only when they reached the solo part, did Jimmy break eye contact with Alice and begin playing.

Finishing up recording, the boys all started to leave. Mick and Jimmy were the last to pack up their stuff, and an uncomfortable air fell over them. Obviously they both either had history, or were making history with Alice. Eventually Mick realised he should probably let the pair talk it out, so, as Jimmy toward the mod room door, Mick moved toward the hallway door.

“Alice, can we talk? Obviously things have become a bit strained between us, and I don’t want it to stay like this” Jimmy started softly. It was probably his choice of words that set Alice off, as immediately after his finished she whipped around from the sound board and kicked off.

“ 'Strained' Jimmy, are you serious?! Strained?! First of all, you didn’t even tell me you weren’t mixing the album with us, and then you just left after our night together. Then- don’t try to interrupt me James. Then, you barely even credit Tom for his songwriting tips on the album. You didn’t even mention me once, even whenever anyone brings up that Theremin part in ‘Whole Lotta Love’! You blush and go on to explain how it was your own fantastic brain that thought of it. The you had the audacity to diss Mystic studios in the papers! What was it you said again? Oh yeah, 'Mystic Studios was far from mystical and closer to meagre, and as a result, the workers were too.” Alice snarled, stream practically blowing out her ears.

“Okay, I agree that comment about Mystics’s capabilities was definitely wrong, I was extremely out of it in that interview- hell I even jibed Atlantic Records!” Jimmy was now getting frustrated too. Normally, no one put him in his place, or gave out to him.

“And then how cold you were about Tom!”

“Wait what happened with Tom?” Jimmy inquired, now serious.

“Oh my fucking god Jimmy” Alice shouted at him “you don’t even remember to you?” She said with a laugh. She searched his face, but all she saw was confusion in his light grey eyes.

“Tom had a fucking stroke last year. Peter told you, and don’t you dare deny it, as he told me he informed you all when I spoke to him on the phone. For Christ’s sake even Bonzo rang to see how he was doing! He didn’t even have my number, but he found it anyway! Robert and John joined the call after he finished speaking. When I asked for you, they said you were in a closet fucking a groupie!”

“Look Alice, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to sa-”

“I’m not surprised Jimmy, it’s a marvel you can play guitar at all, with having no fucking sense in your thick head”

“Stop being so fucking rude to me, you’re not perfect either! Don’t act so high and mighty! I know what went on in Geffen records! I’m mates with David Geffen” Jimmy was no shouting too. At the mention of David Geffen, Alice’s face immediately switched from red to a pale white.

“You do not know what happened between myself and David, if you did, you wouldn’t speak to him ever again” Alice spoke low and slowly, her face now white as a sheet.

Unbeknownst to the pair, all of the Stones were listening outside. When they heard Jimmy shouting about Geffen, Mick Taylor had enough and burst in. The rest of the boys tried to stop him, but he broke free.

“Jimmy, stop it. You don’t know anything about the Geffen incident. You don’t know Alice anymore. I suggest you leave her alone before I step in more. Al, let’s go, our driver is outside.” Mick stretched his hand out to Alice, her eyes now watery, trying to bite down her quivering lip.

Alice immediately joined Mick, and left without a second look to Jimmy.

Jimmy, now alone in the mod room, felt his gut twist with guilt. Had something bad happened with David Geffen and Alice? His mind wondered to Mick’s choice of words -‘incident’. He had heard rumours that were more damaging on David’s behalf, but being friendly with him, he thought he knew him better than all the tabloids and industry gossip.

Jimmy realised that both he and Alice had changed drastically in the last four years, how could he have expected everything to go back to how it was in the summer of ‘69? Now, they were even more distant than ever before.

Maybe they had missed their chance at eternity. Maybe the stars had uncrossed.

His heart nearly broke at the revelation.

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ok so chapter four !!!

I wanna write angst more often it’s my guilty pleasure

anyway, I think this is my favourite piece I’ve written 😌

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[fanfictionaries]

Your Little Ritual

Pairing: Bucky Barnes X female reader

Summary: You and Bucky have started your own weird little ritual when it comes to being stuck in hotel rooms on missions. At first it’s fairly innocent. Until it isn’t.  

Words: 3.5k

Warnings: Swearing, smut, NSFW/18+ only, mutual masturbation

Author’s Note: Inspired by THIS audio because...damn. Listening to the audio with the story is advised!

I have no beta reader. So I apologize for any typos or grammatical errors. I didn’t go over this very in-depth. I just really wanted to get it out. 

***

It had all started very innocently, this weird little ritual you and Bucky now shared. Never in your life did you think it would have propelled into what it was now. You swore by that. One night, after a complication with the mission plans had arisen, you found yourself in a hotel room with Bucky awaiting further orders. Steve had informed you that a response on how to proceed wouldn’t come until the next day. He had told you to head to the hotel and sit tight while they tried to work through the logistics. No big deal. Things like this happened all the time. In fact, only a few months prior you had gotten stranded in Belize with Sam and Wanda after you had discovered your intel was compromised. Seven days and nights in a bed bug ridden motel had put the three of you on such edge that you and Wanda had almost come to blows. And she was easily your best friend. A single night in a nice, clean hotel wasn’t the worst thing in the world. In fact, it could have easily been considered a mini vacation as you and Bucky had raided the vending machines that night before jumping onto the big king size bed and flipping on the TV.

You were digging into the assortment of chips, candy, and soda when Bucky asked you what you would probably consider to this day to be the weirdest question anyone has ever asked you.

“Hey (Y/N), what’s Wetter the Better? I don’t think I’ve heard of that one.”

You stopped, mid-bite into a twinkie, and looked over to him and then the TV. Sure enough, there on the channel guide was Wetter the Better playing from 9-10pm on channel 581. You couldn’t help but let a snort out through your nose as you bit down into the overly sweet cake and synthetic filling.

“That’s a porno Bucky Boy. I’d be more concerned if you had seen it. No one pays for porn anymore,” you stated bluntly, mouth full of twinkie.

“Seriously?” Bucky asked, looking at the television with a bewildered expression.

“Yea, with all the free sites online, why pay someone to watch people get it on?” you continued, taking another bite and picking out a bag of Doritos from the pile of junk.

“No. Not—I mean. You can get pornographic movies on TV? Can just anyone watch it or?” Bucky questioned, turning to you with a curious expression.

“Wait. How do you not know about porn Bucky? Haven’t you like…been around?” you asked, utterly confused by what was going on at that moment, “Like I understand why Steve might not know about it, but…”

“I know what porn is,” Bucky rolled his eyes, “Obviously I’ve heard of it. But I’ve never seen it. Most definitely didn’t know they’d just have it on the TV like this where anyone can see it. Children even!”

“Not everyone can see it. You have to pay for it. Here look,” you leaned over and grabbed the remote from his hand and clicked on the movie title. Up popped a screen asking if you’d like to purchase the channel for a flat rate of $20 a day. “I’m still confused. How do you not know about this? Porno channels have been around since before the 90’s and I’m pretty sure you were Winter Soldiering about the normal world then.”  

“Well yea, but I spent half of it frozen and the other half well…let’s just say he didn’t have much of an interest in sex, let alone watching others have sex,” admitted Bucky, scratching his neck and discretely looking back at the television.

“Bucky…” you lingered, unsure if your assessment of the situation was correct or not, “do you want to watch the porno movie?”

Bucky blushed, looking away from you.

“Oh my god! You do!”

“(Y/N)…” whined Bucky, obviously embarrassed.

“We totally can if you want,” you said, smiling from ear to ear at the poor man sitting at the end of the bed.

“What?” Bucky turned to you, his voice dripping with surprise, “Won’t that be…I don’t know, weird?”

“Only if you make it weird,” you shrugged, “You’ve lived a deprived life Bucky Boy. I think if you want to buy a porno movie in a hotel, you should be able to. Plus, sometimes they’re really cheesy and funny. We might get a good laugh.”

“Okay…okay yea. Let’s do it,” decided Bucky, grabbing a Baby Ruth and scooting back to sit against the headboard. His body almost vibrated in excitement as you proceeded to buy porn on Tony Stark’s dime and clicked ‘Play’.

And so, the night had gone as such. In the beginning, Bucky was like a teenage boy seeing a Playboy in his dad’s basement for the first time. He stared in wide-eyed amazement as the music began to play and the camera focused on the overly done-up, but impressively attractive woman on screen. Then, as it played on, very quickly did you both realize how incredibly ridiculous the movie actually was. Between bad dialogue, poor acting, and the obviously fake moans, the two of you were in tears. You laughed and joked around as you continued to snack and watch. Near the end, however, the movie took a turn and the last scene had become a little more believable and a little less hilarious. By the end, Bucky had cleared his throat and made a casual comment about taking a shower. You nodded, telling him to take his time. It was very clear that you both needed a bit of private time.

And so, a ritual had been born.

Every time you and Bucky found yourselves spending an evening together in a hotel room, it was expected that you’d end up watching a porno, laughing your asses off and then occasionally parting ways to take care of certain needs if required. It should have felt weird. It should have been weird. You both knew that. It was the reason you didn’t tell anyone about it. But still, you both seemed to bond over the act. Inside jokes were formed, good times were had. You liked to think of it as the oddest coworker team building exercise in the world. And that’s all it was.

Until it wasn’t.

That particular night had started out like any other. You and Bucky were stuck in a grungy little motel somewhere in the Midwest. You had raided the vending machines, you were sitting on the bed, as Bucky scrolled through the TV guide to find the porn channel. The only difference this night was that the bed was smaller than usual. Often you and Bucky had to get rooms with only one bed. The guise of a couple staying the night on a road trip was much more believable and did well to cover your tracks. However, you usually tried to get rooms with at least a queen mattress. Bucky was a big guy and you liked to flop around in your sleep. Or so he told you. But, the motel in question only had rooms with doubles left. And that was fine. You could both deal with that no problem.

“What’s playing tonight at the Skinemax theatre Bucky Boy?” you asked, crossing one ankle over the other as you took a sip of orange soda. You placed in on the side table next to you and hugged a throw pillow close to your chest.

“Well, we have what appears to be a parody of The Wizard of Oz or The Sex Therapist.”

“My vote would be for the second one. I actually like The Wizard of Oz, I don’t think I need it ruined by a bad porn parody,” you confessed. Bucky nodded in agreement, pressing play on The Sex Therapist and popping an M&M into his mouth.

“I can’t wait to see how bad this is gonna’ be,” said Bucky, getting comfortable.

“I know right? Probably some guy in glasses telling a girl the only way to cure her mental issues is to fuck it out of her,” you snorted, exchanging a look with Bucky. You were both fairly familiar with the bad porn tropes at this point. In fact, one of your favorite parts of your ritual was trying to predict what was going to happen.

The screen changed from the title to the opening scene and what you saw took you by surprise for a second. The main actor happened to look a little like Bucky. Not exactly, but the resemblance was still enough to make you feel slightly awkward. He wasn’t as muscular as Bucky, but he shared the same shoulder length brown hair and rough stubble over his jaw.

“Awww Bucky Boy, why didn’t you tell me you stared in porn on the side?” you teased, hoping to distill any tension. You turned to look at him, titling your head to the side in a condescending manner.

“Shut up, I could say the same thing about you,” Bucky pointed to the screen and you turned back to see a woman who sure enough kind of resembled you. She was a little shorter than you, but you shared the same hair and eye color, as well as similar noses.

Very quickly, the two of you realized that this was unlike the porn movies you usually watched. It was…good. Really good. The acting was believable. The plot was well thought out. The actors shared a genuine chemistry and it was...hot. Very hot. Then of course to top it all off, it didn’t help that if you squinted it was almost like watching you and Bucky having hot and heavy sex right in front of you. A heat began to pool in your stomach that slowly swirled and coursed through your body. Hugging the pillow in your arms closer, you made the embarrassing realization that your nipples were rock hard. The friction of the pillow against them made you squirm in your spot on the bed. Suddenly, you were very aware of Bucky sitting next to you, close enough to touch. You glanced over, looking at him out of the corner of your eye. He appeared to be just as uncomfortable as you were. An obvious bulge starting to form in his sweats.

You cleared your throat, “Wanna’ get under the covers? It’s a bit cold in here,” you said, hoping to give you both an excuse to hide. Him, to cover his budding erection, and you to conceal the way your thighs clenched together. He graciously took the excuse, agreeing and slipping under the covers with you.

The two of you continued to watch, both afraid to admit that either of you were turned on by the movie in front of you. A pool of arousal was beginning to form in your underwear, as a particularly intense scene play on where the man had the woman bent over a desk as he spanked her ass over and over again. Bucky coughed into his hand, shifting under the blankets, his elbow bumping yours. At the contact, you jumped away from each other, Bucky muttering a few nervous apologies. It was clear that you were both feeling the effects of the movie in full force.

“You’re fine, um, this is…something,” you commented, your face heating.

“Yea, uh, yea. Very…well done,” said Bucky, not looking away from the screen.

“You know…” you began the sentence not knowing where it was going and surprising even yourself when you finished it, “if you wanted to…you know. I wouldn’t, um, I wouldn’t mind.”

“You mean…” Bucky started, looking over at you skeptically.

“I just mean, this is pretty intense. I would understand if you needed to take care of…things.”

“You mean if I wanted to get myself off,” Bucky chuckled, “You don’t see anything weird with that?”

“Well when you say it like that it is,” you rolled your eyes.

“Why wouldn’t I just go into the other room?”

“Because then you wouldn’t be able to watch the movie,” you responded, wanting to kick yourself. What were you saying? Why were you continuing to talk? It was like all the blood and common sense had left your brain and was now currently residing in your throbbing clit.

“You know what, never mind. It’s not like I was going to look or anything. Just a suggestion. Forget I—”

“Okay.”

“What?” It was your turn to look at the man beside you in surprise.

“Okay,” Bucky repeated himself resolutely before stammering on, “I guess, I wouldn’t mind either if you, ya know.”  

You nodded, turning your attention back to the screen. Neither of you moved at first, almost as if you were both afraid to be the first to take the other up on their offer. But then, the ache and need deep in your core began to overtake you once again as you watched the way the Bucky look-alike entered the woman slowly from behind as he bit her shoulder animalistically. Slowly, you lowered your hand down your chest and into your sleep shorts. At first you merely rubbed yourself through your panties, allowing yourself to press against your palm, letting the pressure give you some relief. You struggled to keep your breathing even, as you watched the two on screen pant and moan as they clung to each other, sweaty and wrecked. Your arousal was becoming so great, that the cotton material under your fingers was damp, molding to the outline of your folds. Eyes glued to the two gorgeous actors, you slipped your fingers below your last barrier and made contact with your wet sex.

A gasp escaped your throat as the pads of your fingers grazed your clit, the small bud swollen and sensitive. Bucky inhaled sharply in response to your small outburst. You stilled, embarrassed by the noise you had made and glanced over at Bucky as discretely as possible. Some of your embarrassment was dissolved when you observed the subtle movement of the blankets near Bucky’s groin. With a deep and steady breath, you turned your attention back to the movie and began to explore your folds. Dipping a single finger down, you collected some of your moisture and brought it back up, circling around your clit but not making direct contact. You teased yourself, building yourself as if you had all the time in world. The whole while, the weight of what exactly you were doing hung heavy in the air. You were in a bed with James Buchanan Barnes, your coworker and friend, watching a porno and masturbating. You’d never done anything like it in your life. No one had ever been present when you touched yourself. Even when you were in relationships. Equally so, you’d never been present when someone else masturbated. At least, not to your knowledge. It was such an intimate act. Intimate and incredibly taboo.

Before you knew it, your eyes were closed, and you no longer cared about the television screen in front of you. No, instead you allowed yourself to get off to the erotic scene around you. Bucky’s heavy breathing filled your ears, the small catches and strained noises he made spurred you on. That combined with the wet sounds from your centered had you so hot that it felt like you could combust at any moment. Reaching further down, you slipped a single finger inside of you and moaned lightly at the feeling, unable to stop yourself and really not caring at this point. It’s not like he didn’t know what you were doing.

Out of instinct, your legs spread, knees pulling up as you fingered yourself. That’s when it happened, your left leg made contact with Bucky’s bare thigh. Without thinking, you reached out with your left hand towards him, apologizing as your palm landed on his hip. You both stilled. Opening your eyes, you turned your head and met Bucky’s eyes.

“I…I um,” you struggled for words as you took in what you had just done. God, you had ruined it, “Sorry, I’ll—”

You went to finally move your hand away but were surprised when a cold metal hand locked around your wrist. You stared into the depths of Bucky’s blue eyes. He looked hungry, desperate, pleading. Licking your lips, you followed his silent command, pressing your hand back and firmer against his hip right where the material of his boxers met the exposed skin of his midriff. He closed his eyes with a shuddered breath and let his head fall back against the pillow. You stared at him for a few moments more, watching the way the blankets shifted as his hand moved up and down over his length beneath them. Eyes tracing his profile, you realized just how good-looking Bucky was. His features were a delicate mix of hard and soft, feminine and masculine. His plump lips were parted in pleasure and heavy breaths passed his lips as he continued to pleasure himself. A few moments passed before you realized that you had resumed your ministrations under the blanket. You had been so swept up in watching Bucky that you hadn’t realized just how much of a mess you were. The slick between your legs was so great, your hand was soaked, slipping easily inside of you and throughout your folds. Bringing your hand up, you rubbed your clit lightly. Your left hand clenched, fingernails digging into Bucky’s hip.

“Fuck!” Bucky moaned, his head pressing into the pillow behind him, “Do that again,” he growled, his eyes closed tightly. You did as you were told, digging your nails into the exposed skin on his hip as you rubbed your clit. The sounds he made were so delectable, so erotic. They spurred you on, your own quiet moans falling from your lips. If you could make him moan like that from touching his hip, you couldn’t imagine the type of noises he’d make if you touched him. Actuallytouched him. Feeling bold, you slid your hand down until you reached him. Cautiously, you pushed his own hand away until it was only you wrapped around his hard length. The gorgeous man lying beside you gasped at the feel of your hand.

“Oh my god. Fuck, god!” he moaned, reaching out grasp your thigh in pleasure. His fingers dug into the flesh of your inner thigh, spurring on your own arousal. You now understood why the feeling of your hand on his hip had turned him on so much. The feeling of someone so close, but not quite there as you pleasured yourself was thrilling.

Bucky’s whines and moans filled the room, growing louder and more desperate as you continued to stroke him. Up and down. Up and down. You continued to pleasure yourself, your own orgasm rising and building. But it wasn’t nearly as important to you as getting Bucky there. You wanted to be the one to get him there. You wanted to hear the sweet noises he made when he finally toppled over the edge.

“Oh my god! Yes, yes, yes!” he growled out the last ‘yes’, the sound deep and guttural and oh so delicious. It pushed you further towards your own peak, but you wouldn’t, couldn’t finish until he did. You needed it. You released him, reaching your left hand in between your legs before returning it slick with your own arousal. Faster, you stroked him, twisting your wrist and swirling around the tip with just the right amount of pressure. The lubrication from your sex making it easier. Bucky seemed to agree as every muscle in his body seemed to tense. His fingernail dug into the delicate flesh of your thigh, sure to leave indentations later. But you didn’t care because with a few more harsh pulls, he was cumming. The warm wetness of his released covered your hand, dripping down your arm.

“Fuuuuuck yes! (Y/N) oh my god,” exclaimed Bucky.

The sensation of his warm seed mixed with the sound of his release sent you over the edge. You tensed, fingers stilling over your clit as you rode out your own orgasm. Electricity shooting throughout your whole body as you spasmed and shook.

The two of your lay there, catching your breath before you finally extricated your hand from Bucky’s softening erection. You let it fall onto the mattress beside you, your body heavy and satisfied. Bucky’s hand remained on your thigh, rubbing up and down soothingly. Turning your head, you found him already looking at you, a satisfied smile spread across his face.

“So, can we make that a regular part of hotel porno nights?” asked Bucky, causing you both to let out small chuckles.

“Yes. It’s definitely part of the ritual now.”

Everything Tag List:

@caffiend-queen

[mka1098]

I Ask For Your Hand In Marriage

Part 3

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_yqxljCzSpLyxbkpOGHAjoFKfkhSniBW

^^^ Audio form

The next week, Percy was pulling at his collar in discomfort; Annabeth had practically forced him into formal wear. “Percy, stop doing that.” She hissed at him. Percy pouted at her and huffed.

“I don’t like this.” He complained, words melting together in a heap. Annabeth rolled her eyes. “I can tell. You’ll be fine though, it’s only for a couple of hours and Princess Hazel is a very kind princess.” She said.

Percy gave her a nervous nod. Indeed, he had heard good things about Princess Hazel, 2nd born daughter to King Hades. Everyone knew she was a fair maiden, pure and sweet. She was also wise beyond her years, being only 17 but having the knowledge of an elder. Idly, Percy imagined that Annabeth would be that type of Princess.

“Her carriage has arrived,” Annabeth said in a professional tone. At once, her hand shot out to Percy’s arm and discreetly dragged him to meet the Princess. “Don’t look so miserable, Perce.” Annabeth said lowly, a hint of amusement in her voice.

Percy grinned widely at her. “I’m not!” He insisted. She flipped up a brow but didn't say more.

The first thing that Percy saw exiting the carriage door was Princess Hazel’s curly brown hair. They were much less frizzy than Annabeth’s but they were fuller and had bigger curls. “Princess Hazel.” Annabeth said, bowing.

The Princess smiled at her. “You don’t need to bow.” She said kindly. Annabeth didn’t reply but she smiled nonetheless. Percy felt himself frown; of course Annabeth stuck with olden rules of bowing in front of every royal you met. Annabeth shot him a look that said, do your prince thing. He reached out and gently took the princess’s hand, giving it a light kiss on the knuckles.

“Princess Hazel, thank you for coming all this way. I am Prince Percy.” He said with a smile but inwardly cringed at the royal speech he had to use.

“It’s very nice to meet you too!” Hazel said, blushing a bit. Annabeth wordless motioned for to begin walking, giving slight directions to Percy as they walked.

“You have a beautiful castle.” Hazel commented, looking around.

“Thank you.” Percy said, not sure of what else to say.

Annabeth pushed open a door for them and the room they entered was one he’d never been in before; perhaps he had sometimes when he was a child but Annabeth had certainly decked it out, making it look new and different from the rest of the castle.

“Wow! I have never seen these types of gems before?!” Hazel cried in excitement. She shot forward to a table where Percy now noted that there were gemstones and crystals on it. “They are beautiful.” Hazel picked one up to examine.

Annabeth nodded from the far corner. “These rare gemstones only found the depths of our oceans and seas.” Annabeth said.

Oh, that made sense. Hazel’s kingdom had a huge focus on minerals and gems; if Percy’s kingdom had gems to offer it would make King Hades more willing to form an alliance and marriage. Percy wanted to slam his head on a wall because not only was love a factor here, but also power.

A sharp but quick pain shot through Percy’s arm, soundlessly he jumped and looked to his left to find Annabeth with an amused expression on her face. “Go talk to her, don’t be all awkward.” She said, pushing him slightly. Percy stuck out his tongue at her.

Hazel was exploring the crystals set out on the table with joy. Percy walked over and opened his mouth to try and start a conversation but he didn’t couldn’t think of anything. It was… well awkward. “So you like crystals?” He said, leaning over her shoulder slightly. He wanted to curse himself for being an idiot, of course she did! It was only just one of the biggest parts of her kingdom’s history! Hazel nodded excitedly at him and inspected more of the purple crystals that he was sure Annabeth had some other name for. How she managed to remember so many words was beyond him.

Admittedly, Percy was never good at not making this awkward. As much as magazines liked to portray him as a smooth-talking suave young prince, Annabeth never let him forget that he was the most awkward human on the planet. At the very least, he knew how to ask questions that got other people talking, this gave him more time to look like a normal person rather than the blubbering mess he normally was when Annabeth wasn’t by his side.

“Can you tell me about this crystal?” Percy asked. Hazel’s eyes seemed to brighten with the light of a thousand stars. “Oh yes! It grows in medium sized clusters of 4. They are neat little things. They grow quickly but in very sparse areas; I can’t believe your royal advisor was able to track them down.” She said, smiling at the blue crystal in her hand. Percy nodded.

“Yeah, she can do anything if she puts her mind to it.” He said with a fond smile. Hazel smiled back to him but didn’t say much more. It was starting to get very awkward.

“So what do you like to do normally?”

“I like to walk around my garden a lot. I love all the pretty flowers there; a lot of wild flowers grow really bigger without any help. We have very rich soil back home.”

“That’s very nice.”

“It is! Sometimes I’ll talk to the friends I’ve made around the castle. Like Frank, he’s one of the animal keepers.” Hazel said. Her smile grew tenfold when saying Frank’s name. Clearly, he was special to her.

“Frank?” Percy questioned. She blushed.

“Yeah, he’s… he is a very nice boy.” She admitted. She looked away from him, with an almost wistful smile.

“Tell me about him.” Percy said kindly. Hazel’s cheeks flushed pink.

“Oh, Frank, he’s the sweetest person on earth!” She started with excitement in her voice. “He’s so good with the animals! I don’t know how but it’s like he’s one of them. And he’s just so thoughtful and nice; we spend hours upon hours talking.” Quickly, Hazel cut herself off. She looked at him with widened eyes. “Sorry.” She said, brushing her hair back. “I was rambling a bit wasn’t I?” Percy shook his head and smiled nicely at her.

“It’s okay. You seem to really like him.” He said.

It was clear that they weren’t compatible in a romantic standpoint; she was sweet but there really wasn’t much connection or really meaningful things to talk about. Hazel bit her lip and shyly looked up at him, setting down the pretty rocks back onto the table.

“Yeah. I do.” She admitted in a quietish voice.

A wide grin spouted onto Percy’s face. “Then you should be with him. Not me, a random prince whom you don’t have much chemistry with.” His face went red when he realized what he had said. “I mean- not like in a bad wa- you’re really nice and great but like we- uh…” He said, getting flustered. Hazel laughed a bit.

“No, I understand. And I’m not offended at all. It’s very nice meeting you at the very least.” She said. The girl sighed and looked down. “I just… I really like him and I think he likes me too but he’s not royal. And you know the whole prince, princess and non-royal marriage thing well don’t you?” Her big brown eyes looked at him like a puppy dog. Percy nodded. “So, I’m just worried about that.”

Percy understood that. Completely. But he also believed that happiness should come first, especially in a lifelong marriage. “I do. I still think you should tell him, maybe marry him if that’s what you want. Happiness is more important than some old rule people came up with years and years and decades and centuries ago isn’t it? It’s your marriage; you have the right to decide who it’s with!” He encouraged her. “Really?” Hazel asked him. Percy nodded. “100%. If he makes you happy, if he’s the one that makes you smile and laugh then why choose someone else who doesn’t make you feel special?” Percy pointed out. Hazel nodded thoughtfully. “I guess you’re right.” She said decidedly. “I’ll tell my father tonight!.” Percy nudged her shoulder playfully. “Atta girl.” He said with joy. She giggled a but.

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m not next to rule. I don’t need an heir; my sister will have one.” She said thoughtfully.

At that, Hazel brushed off her dress and Percy took that as a sign to leave. After all, it had been a couple of hours since she had arrived and even if they weren’t going to be engaged by the end of the day, Percy was sure Hazel would make a wonderful and sweet friend. He politely led her down to the palace entrance and back to her carriage. Like a gentlemen, he kissed her hand goodbye and kindly told her to come anytime she pleased; Hazel was a kind soul who’d always be welcomed.

“Thank you, Percy.” She said with a smile, picking up her skirt to get into her carriage. “I hope the same luck for you. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one.” She said with a bright smile. Huh? Percy’s eyebrows scrunched together and his head cocked to the side in confusion. That… that really confused Percy. “What are you talking about?” He asked her.

At that, Hazel joined in his confusion. “Aren’t you in love with your Royal Advisor? Annabeth?” She asked. Percy shook his head.

“No.”

“Really?” He nodded at that. Hazel hummed. “Oh, well dear me. Sorry for thinking so.” She apologized. He waved it off.

“It’s all fine.” He said. Hazel eye’s flickered to the palace entryway; that was where Annabeth was at, babbling on the phone and scratching down stuff for his schedules and other royal duties he had yet to understand how to do.

But you’re going to have to learn to do them and then your future queen will have to help you. Not Annabeth. A little voice nagged in his brain. It took a lot of effort for Percy to not scowl at that voice. “I’m sorry, I just assumed. It seemed so much like true love to me.” Hazel said with a light smile gracing her face. She looked from Annabeth in the far distance back to him.

“If there is something, I hope it works out for you two. You’re right, happiness should always come first and I really think you’d be happy together.” She said.

Percy felt like his mind had just exploded. Uh… what? No! He was not in love with Annabeth! Not at all. She was his best friend, for years and years and years! Since they were literally 12. He wasn’t in love with her; that would be silly and cliche.

“Thank you for the time. It was really fun!” With that, Hazel waved out the window and away. Percy waved back, watching her leave but the words she had said reminded stuck in her head.

He wasn’t in love with Annabeth and she certainly didn’t love him that way. Annabeth was smart and funny, always on top of her work, courageous, dangerous because she could always make a plan and whatever it was and no matter how crazy it seemed, it would work. No way were they evenly matched. Percy was a confused, stull kiddish 18-year-old prince who still depended on his best friend for way too much and was still a baby to his mother. Not that the latter would ever change but perhaps the former wouldn’t either. Percy was a mess all the time! Annabeth was always perfectly put together. He was chaotic and had way too many not thought-out ideas that he just did. She had cool and composed and taught through everything she had ever done in her entire life with so much thinking, it had all worked as it should. There was no way they were contenders for a romantic partner in each other.

A light but effective smack in the head woke Percy up from his reverie. Blinking, he saw Annabeth at his side, shaking her head and clicking her tongue in a disappointed manner. “Next princess.” She muttered under her breath, jotting something down the grey notebook she had in her hands.

Percy looked at her in the light.

Another reason she could never be in love with him; she was much too pretty for him. From an objective standpoint, that is. Percy knew he wasn't bad-looking but Annabeth looked like an angel at almost all times of the day. Like a beautiful but deadly angel that is. Objective. Percy created in his head. Yes, there was no one Hazel was right. There was no… romance between them and considering different levels he and Annabeth were one, there wouldn’t ever be. Or at least on her part.

Idly, as just as quickly as the thought came, Percy smacked it away, he wondered if he could ever fall in love with her. No, no, no. He was not going to entertain that question.

“Come on. You have fittings to do and I have PR events to do.” Annabeth said, dragging him into the castle by his shirt sleeve.

“But I don’t want to!” He whined like a kid. She rolled her eyes at him but smiled fondly.

“Too bad, seaweed brain. Or do you want to do that essay on royal attire history?” She asked. Percy immediately shut up. Annabeth laughed.

“Yeah, I thought so.”