#I haven't written one of these sorts of things before so apologies if this is a horrendously bad take
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Okay this took a moment (or month) longer than expected but hopefully my rambling makes sense?? But here's my hopefully somewhat decent argument for Thomas lying about his debts. Also, apologies for no power point slides lmao.
Thomas very obviously falls into that classic privileged rich boy trope. He has little-to-no respect for anyone we see or hear him interact with that is of a lower social status than him (including but not limited to shooting Halliday's horse and then taunting him about it, his treatment of Amadin both on screen and through Amadin's recounts of him from childhood, spooking household staff for the fun of it, and how rude he is towards the men they hired to hunt down Nell), and his favourite past time appears to be drinking with his friends and causing trouble towards other people (with how George and Roxy explain on multiple occasions about Thomas's reoccurring behaviour in the village and towards Roxy, and how all the townsfolk are immediately on edge and cautious when he enters the Talbot in episode one).
That is all to set up that I think Thomas is actually rather intelligent, nearing or at what we give Sofia credit for, but prefers to just fuck around (and find out lmao).
Because multiple times throughout episode one he shows that he knows how to say the right things to get what he wants. He understands how people see him and he uses that to appeal to people of higher standing than him, ie his father and Poynton. Take when he makes his apology to his father to convince him to give Halliday the deed to the Talbot rather than to Nell.
Lord Blancheford: Since when were you interested in furthering a good man's cause?
Thomas: I've been unworthy of you. I've humiliated you, and I've allowed myself to be influenced by the wrong people. And I'm sorry. I want to put all of this behind me-
Sofia: So not content on turning them into orphans, you want to make them homeless now as well.
Thomas: Don't say that.
And also with how he opens up the conversation with Poynton about his alleged debts.
Thomas: So, just lately things have been difficult. And I have no one to talk to, and I know you're very busy...
Poynton: Tell me what's upsetting you, Thomas.
He also seems to have a tone of voice that he reserves for these moments (one that makes me giggle every time I hear the "I've been unworthy of you" lmao). I'm not the best with tone, but it always gives me a sort of childish impression? Like he's making himself seem almost submissive and helpless??
He fully has the awareness to know how his words and actions effect a situation for him, but he would rather use it to walk a tightrope that allows him to act as he does without facing (many) consequences. He probably prefers to keep expectations of himself low to not be held to any responsibility, but still gets to maintain not being completely written off as to not loose any privileges.
Because his father also appears very lenient with his behaviour. Though based on their first scene together (at the dinner table when Thomas is told his allowance will be stopped), the knowledge that Thomas was sent to boarding school and placed into the care of an uncle briefly to help straighten him out, as well as Lord Blancheford's covering up of his murder of Sam Trotter, I'd wager that Lord Blancheford views Thomas's behaviour as a threat to the family's reputation rather than any actual concern for him being a shit human being. And based off how Thomas reacts to being disciplined, I'd expect that proper consequences to his actions are few and far between.
So when it comes to Thomas actually facing these consequences, he jumps straight into using that intelligence to do as he's always done, side step responsibility.
(Horrendous gif quality but like,,, that's the face of a man who is scheming. Dude started the scene drunk as anything with his bowl of pickles and visibly very quickly sobered up.)
Consider when Thomas first interacts with Poynton on screen, this also being the first time Thomas mentions having debts.
Thomas: I have debts my Father knows nothing about. Debts I can only settle when I come into my inheritance. At least because he's stopped my allowance.
Poynton: Ah.
Thomas: You once told me, that a man could sell his soul to darkness, and in return get anything, everything he desires. And that you are the person that can intercede in such matters. I want my estate Poynton. I want everything, now.
Obviously his end goal is to gain access to his inheritance, but he frames his motivator as concern over unpayable debts. Which, first of all I don't believe is his motivation, and secondly I believe that he's straight up lying about having any in the first place.
At face value this makes sense, he drinks regularly and no doubt seems the type of guy to engage in gambling and other such behaviours that could lead to gaining debts.
But Thomas actively commits the murder of Sam Trotter, likely (and rightfully) assuming his father would step in and cover it up. So why wouldn't he just have his father fix his debts for him as well? The cost wouldn't be a concern for Lord Blancheford, especially if Thomas was previously paying it off with just his allowance and with Sofia being able to offer a £40 reward for Nell's capture. The way that family is willing to wave around money to keep appearances, it wouldn't be a hard ask to pay off some debts.
Also, what tipped me off on my first watch through was how Thomas relays the situation to Sofia.
Thomas: I used to tell him things, like... that I was short of money and that I needed my inheritance. And he would say things like 'well Thomas, what stands between you and your inheritance?'
His tone reads to me like he is recounting that he told tales to try get what he wanted from Poynton. Choices are intentional in media, and I feel like you have to give credit to the writers in the way they've worded (and how Jake Dunn delivered) that line. He phrases it such that he's explaining how he manipulated and fabricated a scenario to get Poynton's help, rather than a confession to Sofia of debt being a motivator for reaching out to Poynton; "I used to tell him things, like..." vs "I confided in him...".
Sofia also does not appear to have any reaction to the debts, giving weight that she understands the debts were a lie to gain Poynton's help. She has control over the estate at this point, and would be aware of the financial situation enough to know if large amounts of money are being spent for unknown reasons. Also, Thomas is very obviously not in any position to be worrying about finances after killing his father. Although, this could also all be argued away with Sofia being more concerned about Poynton's involvement to be worried about anything else in that moment. Either way, that still doesn't disprove the idea that Thomas is lying about his debts.
In place of debt as a motivator, my view is that he's just a rich boy throwing a tantrum honestly. In episode one, all his actions outside of his focus of getting drunk and fucking around with his friends are all reactionary to the consequences of his actions. He reaches out to Poynton after being told his allowance would be cut to ask for help in gaining his inheritance. He chooses to kill Nell's father specifically to prove himself to Poynton after Nell stood up to him (something no other townsfolk had done) and embarrassed him publicly. And, he finally only kills his own father after Nell confronts the Blanchefords and Lord Blancheford promises to have Thomas face legal repercussions. He's intelligent enough to understand a situation well enough to decide when is an appropriate time to take action, how to manipulate a situation into a more self-serving one, and how to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. But he also only bothers to do so when he has been embarrassed, had a privilege revoked, or is being forced to live with his actions.
Idk feel free to share your thoughts on this, this is mostly word vomit onto a post but hopefully theres some substance to it lmao.
#I haven't written one of these sorts of things before so apologies if this is a horrendously bad take#but fuck it we ball#Thomas is just a rich white boy#Theres also more I could say on the blanchefords tendency to lie and worry about appearance over morality#but i've kinda covered that in a different post so idk#this has been sitting in my drafts for a month so quickly finished it and posting before work lol#thomas blancheford#renegade nell
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Hi Mrs. Shabana!!!! I’ve had this request for a while because I’m a big fan of Gyutaro and the way you write him :D if you want, could you make an inceltaro fic and it’s established relationship too if it’s okay. Idk just daily life with him and if you feel comfortable could it be smut? (I have never requested anything before please forgive me 🤧 also I added the cat so things would be less dry I hope u appreciate this)

𝐈𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐥!𝐃𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐧!𝐆𝐲𝐮𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚��𝐞𝐫 ‧₊˚⋆
꒦꒷‧₊ Content Gyutaroxfemale!reader, 18+ MDNI, modern au, Gyutaro is an incel and a demon, smut, vaginal sex, creampie ꒦꒷‧₊ Note 1.3k words. I know you didn't ask for a demon version of incel Gyutaro but I had the idea and really wanted to write it! I haven't written for demon Gyutaro much so I've been craving it lately. I hope you still like it tho! And tysm for the ask ♡

Your boyfriend is a really strange guy. Your friends warned you that he was a creep before you started dating, but you didn't care. You thought his social ineptitude was charming.
Sure, maybe he was a bit of a stalker before you started dating. But can you blame him? You were super pretty, and the way that you smiled at him made his knees weak.
He didn't understand how or why a woman could have this effect on him. In his eyes, women were lesser creatures designed to serve men's needs. Cooking, cleaning, sex, that sort of stuff.
Or at least that's what he learned from Reddit and 4chan.
He rarely left his room or talked to people in person so it was only a matter of time until he clung to some extremist online society. It was easier to blame everyone else for his problems instead of taking accountability for his own attitude and situation.
He was just a horny, unemployed neet that's obsessed with video games and hentai.
But one day when he was checking his mail in the mailroom of his apartment building, you accidentally bumped into him. You smiled at him and profusely apologized. It wasn't a strange or unusual encounter by any means, but for Gyutaro it was the first (if not only) positive interaction he had with a woman other than his sister. So to say it affected him would be an understatement.
He immediately got hard as he watched you walk away. Unable to resist temptation as he followed you to see which apartment unit you lived in. It was just down the hall from his.
And that's how his obsession began. He memorized your work schedule and would try to always catch you on your way to and from your apartment. Then while you were at work he'd go back to his room and jerk off until his dick was raw.
It wasn't healthy, but he didn't care.
Eventually one thing led to another and the two of you would talk on occasion. Leading to a few dates. Then boom, he became your boyfriend.
You love Gyutaro for his personality and his uniqueness. He's actually really funny sometimes and you love how much he cares about you. Sometimes it's borderline obsessive but you rather have someone be obsessed with you than not give a shit.
Plus you think he's so handsome. Maybe not conventionally attractive, but he's attractive to you. Those birthmarks on his face are beautiful, and you make sure to remind him of that every time you see him.
He'll put up a front like he doesn't care or can't be bothered, but as you kiss his birthmarks his cheeks begin to turn a light shade of pink. And suddenly he wants to lie in bed and cuddle you all evening.
He's a good boyfriend, though he has some downsides. He was often rude to other people, especially women. His apartment was a mess, he refused to clean up his hair, and his personal hygiene was subpar.
But those flaws could never prepare you for the real secret that he had been hiding this whole time.
You had to work overtime one night so you came home super late, but you really wanted to see Gyutaro so you went into his apartment, expecting him to be in his room playing video games. But no, instead you found him sitting on the living room couch with a severed arm in his hand. Casually munching down on the bloody flesh.
He looked at you with wide eyes that didn't look like the soft blue ones you had become accustomed to. Instead they were an unnatural red and green, his clear scleras now a sickly yellow.
"Um... I can explain," he muttered as he swallowed the wad of flesh.
So yeah, not only were you dating an incel but he also happened to be a demon! Just your luck, right?
You panicked and freaked out initially, which is completely understandable. But when you gave Gyutaro the chance to explain himself, everything began to make sense.
Being a demon, he can't go out during the day and needs to stay secluded as to not draw in too much attention. He was basically forced into solitude, in turn resulting in him becoming an incel. He couldn't just go out and have a normal life like a human could.
As he explained his situation, you began to feel bad for him. It really wasn't his fault that he turned out this way.
He was on the verge of tears as he tried to explain things to you. The thought of you being afraid of him broke his heart. He would rather face death than accept that you no longer love him.
So he definitely didn't expect you to be so accepting of his situation, but you were. And it only made him love you even more.
Apparently demons have been around for a very long time. And over the years they have adapted to living in a more modern society. Like how Gyutaro could change his appearance to match more of what he looked like before he became a demon. Though now that you know the truth, he doesn't hide his true nature from you.
Is it bad that you like him better this way?
Maybe it's because he can truly be himself now with nothing to hide. But you find this new Gyutaro so fucking attractive. Suddenly his less than ideal hygiene isn't so bad.
Before he met you, he would mainly target women that annoyed him. Women who were beautiful, had lots of friends, or successful careers. Sometimes he'd target men too if they sparked his jealousy. Especially if the guy was very popular with the ladies, that made Gyutaro's blood boil and they'd quickly become his next meal.
But now that he's in a happy relationship, his outbursts of jealousy aren't as bad.
Now that you know the truth, he doesn't hold anything back in the bedroom. Gyutaro will literally go for HOURS if you let him. Fucking you relentlessly, spilling load after load inside of you. He knows you can only handle so much since you're just a human but sometimes he just can't help himself.
His favorite thing is to hold you down and push his cock even deeper inside of you after he's filled you to the brim with his semen. Watching you struggle beneath him is the cutest thing in his eyes.
You claim that you need to clean up and you feel dirty, but he loves that dirty feeling. He wants to watch you writhe in the mess he's created. Just smelling his scent all over you like that drives him mad. Even after you clean it off, his scent is never truly gone because he forced you to sit in it for so long.
He's rough and sadistic during sex, teasing you constantly. Withholding your orgasm while he reaches his over and over again. You're like his human toy that he can play with as he pleases.
But when it comes down to it, he genuinely loves and cherishes you. He acts like he's in control, but if you legitimately wanted him to stop, he would. He would even get on his knees and lick the bottom of your shoes if you asked. He'd never admit it to anyone else. But for you he'd do anything.
The love he has for you knows no bounds. You aren't just his girlfriend, you're his soulmate. He's convinced of it. The two of you are so different, but maybe that's why you work so well together.
He's depraved, filthy, and disgraceful. But you love him that way and wouldn't change him for the world.
#gyutaro#gyutaro shabana#gyuutarou#gyutaro x reader#gyutaro x y/n#gyuutarou x reader#gyutaro smut#demon slayer x reader#kny x reader#demon slayer smut#kny smut#𝐑𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬 ʚ♡ɞ
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hi this request isn’t for S4 i hope that’s ok!
but takes place in s2 where five strands everyone?
his spouse gets stranded a year and a bit before he gets there
and they made a career for themselves as a singer? maybe they have some sort of siren power or they are just naturally talented !?
but he finds them on a billboard or something that says where they will be performing next and they have a reunion where the reader has a love hate reaction to seeing him?!
sorry if this is a lot!!!
totally okay! i like all the other seasons better than 4 anyway lmao- this is actually an idea i have for my upcoming reboot of a five story i'd written, so i'm excited to sort of test it out! this turned out a bit more fem reader coded, but no she/her pronouns are used last i checked.
also my swiftie is coming out for this story, sorry to all you non-swifties ;-;
divider credited to @cafekitsune (lmk if you'd like me to remove it or anything of the sort!)
warnings: taylor swift (i love her actually but some people don't so)
The last thing you remembered was holding hands tightly with Five, and then he was ripped from your grasp, and you were falling ass first into an alleyway. Where did he go? Where were the others?
"Five..?!" You cried, hurrying out of the alleyway and bumping into somebody, who glared at you and walked off. You looked around and spotted a newspaper box, and you were over there before you could think. Your eyes scanned the paper. Year, year, what year was it?!
1960.
The sixties?! What the fuck?! All you could do was drop the newspaper to the floor, collapsing against the building wall beside you. You were the only one there. Some of your found-family wasn't even here yet, you'd imagine. There had to be some kind of time frame. You felt bad for whoever was put the farthest. Were you put the furthest in the past? What if you were super old by the time you found everyone again?! Well, you are already old, but what if you looked like it?!
All you could do was wait. You knew Five, he'd stop at nothing to save you and his family.
Unfortunately, there wasn't exactly anywhere to go. You looked pretty young and had no identification. You were wearing strange clothes, you didn't fit in. This felt like the apocalypse in a way, loads better obviously, but being alone? The worst feeling.
You had to stealth around, stealing and pilfering where you could. Sitting in alleys in the rain, starving. That was until you were dumpster diving behind some sort of bar. The heavy door creaked open and you froze inside the green box.
"Them damn raccoons again." A heavy southern accent was muffled to you, but you could tell it was a woman. You heard heels clicking on the ground and the dumpster opened and a broom whacked you in the head.
"Ouch!!!"
"Oh my heavens, yer a person!!!" The woman exclaimed, dropping the broom with a clatter. She reached over and helped you out of the trash, her nose crinkling. The woman was wearing a scantily clad flapper dress, a cute headpiece adorning her blonde hair. "What're ya doin' inside the trash, sweetie?" She asked with worry, brushing some garbage off you like it was nothing.
"Uh...I'm so sorry, I can go." You apologized, ready to get out before she called the cops like everyone else.
"Oh no, baby, no. Here, you come in, we'll getcha somethin' to eat." She assured you, ushering you inside. Some other women (and some men) that were dressed similarly didn't seem to mind. "Most of us here, came from poor too, we'll take ya in." She smiled, taking you to the back and providing you with a meal.
"Thank you...." You said, completely shocked at her kindess.
"Oh! Right, my name's Jess, nice to meetcha." She cooed politely, and you gave her your name through bites of food, making her giggle. "Tell me, sweetie, can ya sing? Dance? Anything of the sort?"
You paused. A golden opportunity was just presented to you. 1960. Some of your favorite artists haven't even been born yet. Not to mention your power dealt with your voice, similar to Allison's. You were frequently named The Siren in Umbrella Academy material. And, you didn't have any stigma to using it like Allison did.
"I write songs." You blurted, and a wide smile came across her face.
"Do ya?! Oh, you'll have to show Bruce then. He's the owner of the place." She hummed, and soon you were cleaned up and sitting in a private room on a nice sofa with a guitar in front of a sleazy looking man who looked like he'd run some kind of club with sexy women around to exploit.
"Alright, sweetheart. Show me whatcha got." He said, a fat cigar between his greasy looking fingers.
You took a deep breath. "Um...so...this song is called...." Shit, you had to think. You didn't have much time to come up with the song to sing. You had to pick a song that was popular in the modern era, maybe it would be good here too? But maybe you should stick to country. You were in Dallas, Texas after all. Not to mention you'd need to change some words if needed.
"C'mon, don't have all day." Bruce took a puff of his cigar, blowing the smoke into your face.
"Um. It's called...Mean." You blurted, and began to strum the guitar. Taylor Swift had been a hit as a country singer, this was a good idea in your mind. You were careful to control your power, and also make it believable. A southern accent and changing the word 'football' into 'baseball'.
As you sang, Bruce stopped focusing on his cigar and was completely focused on you and the shitty guitar you managed to make sound so good.
You finished the song and had a job immediately, with a small lie that you were 18. No liquor, but you could have beer! Thus began your career in that small club, becoming friends with the women who worked there. Soon enough you had the money for a small apartment. You despised the creepy looks men at the club gave you. All you could think of to continue was Five. He'd find you, right? Surely!
But after years? It was tiring. Dancing in sexy outfits in front of men with cigars, smoke and alcohol filling the air. The harsh lights on you while you had to make acoustic country covers of Taylor Swift songs. The more sexual songs like 'Dress' and 'Don't Blame Me' were your least favorite. You'd just have to withstand it. For days. And days. And days. And weeks. And years.
Five crashed into Dallas after witnessing the second apocalypse, with his hand empty. He forgot which sibling he'd been holding onto, but he knew he had you in his other hand.
"Shit, shit, shit!" He had hissed to himself, looking around and calling your name desperately. He'd never admit how panicked he currently was, and composed himself immediately upon the meeting of Elliott, some weird nerd.
"Alright, before I do anything." Five walked up to the man, looking up at him with fierceness. "Do you know anything at all about someone by the name of (Y/n) (L/n)." It was more a demand than a question. "If I find out you've been lying, I'll kill you." He threatened.
Elliott cracked immediately, telling Five he'd seen a billboard of that name recently. He didn't listen to music much, but their name was everywhere. Five was instantly gone, and was amazed to see your face on a huge billboard. You? A star? Not that you weren't talented, you absolutely were! You just weren't that kind of person. He asked around and found the club, teleporting in without an issue.
Ordering a drink, he sat as close to the stage as possible. A sleazy man you would absolutely despise walked out with a grin, golden teeth shining under the light as he began to speak. About you. Five clenched the glass of whiskey in his hand. This asshole looked so smug. Like you were his property.
Then you walked out with a shining silver guitar. He felt his breath leave him. "My God..." he hissed under his breath. You were gorgeous. He wasn't a fan of the makeup on your face, red lips and such. But you were glowing, looking so confident in yourself. You started singing 'You Belong With Me' by Taylor Swift, and he understood the situation quick. The folks around were immediately entranced, and it made him sick. You were using your power to reel them in, keep you popular and making money.
Your eyes met his and you faltered for just a moment, but no one else noticed as you kept singing. After the song was over, you gave him a look and walked backstage. Within seconds he was back there, so relieved to finally see you again.
"A singer, huh?" He said with a lopsided smile nobody else in his family got to see. "Not what I expected."
Your face dropped a tad, tears filling your eyes. "That's all you have to say to me?" You asked, and Five panicked. He hurried over and very gently held your face.
"No no, sweetheart, I'm sorry if that came off wrong. I'm so glad to see you." He quickly said, letting you fall into him for an embrace. "How long was I gone for?"
"Three years." You murmured, and he sighed.
"I'm sorry, I'm here now. You looked really good up there." He said softly. He decided to not tell you about the upcoming apocalypse. At least, not yet. When everyone was together.
"Thanks." You said with a weak smile, not at all letting go. Last time you let go, you were without him for 3 years. You didn't ever want to let go again.
fuck im sorry that ending was so rushed, but if it wasn't i wouldn't have had this out
#gn!reader#x reader#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#five hargreeves x reader#the umbrella academy x reader#umbrella academy season 2
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How the Rhodolite princes would react to their firstborn/newborn

Rating: PG-13 (?) Ikepri itself contains a lot of mature themes however, as such, mdni 🔞
Warnings: Brief mentions of (past) character death, grief, pregnancy/childbirth themes (no actual birth depicted), gn but implied afab, & the usual tragic Ikepri cannon.
A/N: Tried to write how they'd hold their kid and what they were feeling when meeting them. Spoiler warnings for the Rhodolite princes routes, tried not to bring up anything major though (Luke's is probably the most spoilery?). Tried to keep the princes' spouses GN, though implied afab bc newborns. (One very brief mention of Belle, but mc/reader is not Emma.) Might eventually make pt2 with the others..? Please read the warnings and proceed only if comfortable! :)
(Apologies for anything that seems ooc, I haven't written much in awhile and this is my first piece for Ikepri! I'm more used to fics rather than hcs, but I tried my best! o7)

JIN 🦅
There's so much Jin can't help but worry about. His past, his future, his country... and now he's got not one but two loved ones he would do anything for. The little bundle of joy in his arms reminds him of the times when his younger brothers were born, and how cute they used to be (well, some of them, anyway). The bleary, garnet eyes trying to look into his own have him wondering.. is this how he looked to his dear mother? There's so much he cherishes, and so much he fears, but he won't let the history of Belle repeat itself. He'd fight the entire palace if he had to, but for right now, he'll settle for tackling pesky burps and dirty diapers. Jin coos at his baby, baritone voice suddenly startling the poor thing, and he can't help but pout. The baby in his arms continues to fuss, feeling hungry.
Jin pulls something out of his breast pocket, looking over at his spouse. "So.. how much longer until they can have lollipops?"
CHEVALIER 🐅
Chevalier would likely be a bit awed upon holding his firstborn, much like the quiet way he takes in Emma's precence. Chevalier is known to be awkward with his affections, as he's far from practiced, but it's been shown on several occasions how he tries to gently pet an animal that dares to come close, or how he clumsily takes care of his love when they're feeling under the weather. He may look fine on the outside, but he's actually quite hesitant, trying to sort things out logistically at first, before sort of just settling for standing there and holding his newborn with both arms. He stares down at their gentle features, taking in every detail, making sure they're comfortable and warm in their sleep.
Looking over at his beloved in all their tired glory, in his very own Chevalier-approved affection he says, "You did well, Simpleton." While he only speaks four words aloud, his faint smile speaks the thousands he didn't quite know how to express.
CLAVIS 🐆
"Dearie me," Clavis says, holding his newborn, full of wide-eyed excitement. "They look so much like you, I can see the bunny ears already."
Being someone who values life so dearly, bringing a new one into this world, with the love of his life no less, is enough to send Clavis' heart soaring into the stratosphere. He just can't help but want to drown them in affection, but they're so small and fragile, and Clavis knows better than to risk scaring them now. He's so, so gentle with his child, unconditional love flowing off him in waves as they bond quietly (please don't get used to this, it will not last), and looks upon their splotchy tufts of lilac hair. The Lelouch genes live on through yet another generation, he smiles to himself. Clavis slowly comes over to stand by his love, placing a gentle kiss on their head.
"You're so lucky to have such a wonderful husband like me. But I'm even luckier to have you both in my life."
LEON 🦁
The happiest day in Leon's life. Second only to your wedding. Scratch that, the wedding is second.. he thinks. He's a bit frazzled from work, labor stress, and all the chaos, cut the guy some slack. No one is immune to this sweet lion's charisma, not even a newborn. They can't help but stare at his flowy hair and bright eyes, like a cartoon character come to life right before their eyes. Leon gently caresses their neck, very lightly pressing a kiss into their soft kiss to their temple. What kind of person will they grow up to be? Will they eat as much as he does? Will they fall asleep when they read too? There's a lot that runs through his mind, but ultimately, he is hopes for them to be healthy, and live happily. This child is going to be absolutely spoiled (within reason), and always have someone in their corner, rooting for them and ready to help learn from their wrongs. For now, he can worry about righting their posture instead. He tries to hold them like he read (how his partner read) in the parenting books, supporting their necks and all. It was really hard to stay awake during those, but the excitement of fatherhood helped him push through, and he's going to put it all into practice now.
"When do we start working on the second one?" (If not for the literal newborn currently in his hands, he'd be busy dodging several pillows.)
YVES 🐈
There's a lot of suppressed guilt for his mother's death in mind, and so many worries for his darling's health before, during, and after. He's a bit scared to hold his newborn, for fear of his clumsiness and "bad luck". With some assurance, he finally takes hold of them, and he could not physically be more careful with his firstborn. Clear eyes like the sky blink sleepily up at him, and Yves is fighting back tears solely for fear of them landing on the baby and somehow hurting them. The smile on his face could split his cheeks if it got any wider. The baby falls asleep in its father's arms, and he even tries breathing softer so he won't wake them. He's just trying his best, please reassure this sweet cat, he means well. (And he absolutely lost the battle against those blasted tears anyway.)
"Thank you for loving me, and for bringing our child into the world with us. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."
LICHT 🐺
(Twins having twins cliché may seem redundant, I made 'em different for each brother, pinky promise.)
Licht was blessed with not one but two bundles of joy. Beautiful twin boys, who had what looked to be his vibrant silver hair and his beloved's eyes. He couldn't help the memories that surged, of happier times, and the worst of times. He knew all too well just how ruthless the court could be, but he had a chance to make things different this time. Licht seriously considered building that house he'd once mentioned, and moving you all somewhere much more peaceful. One twin in his arms, one with their other parent, he feels all thought subside when the one he's holding tries to grab at his sleeve. Licht's now-famous smile blooms across his lips much the way the sun's rays appear over daybreak; subtle, then all at once. He takes a gloveless hand, letting their tiny hand hold onto his finger as best they can, eyes gleaming from the sight before him. Licht looks over in wonder at his spouse, only to find them already watching with a tired, quiet smile.
"Things won't be easy but.. I know we can handle anything. I adore you. And I adore them."
NOKTO 🦊
(Twins for both may seem redundant, but I changed things up drastically ok, we got this.)
Nokto wasn't entirely surprised to have twins, but he had also hoped luck would be in their corner in avoiding similar fates. Two little girls, jewel-like eyes like his, and his beloved's hair color (or so it appears, though it's hard to tell for sure with so little peach fuzz). Nokto sits at the edge of the bed, holding one newborn in his arm, and reaching his other hand out for the one in his love's arms. Aside from the memories of his own upbringing, he's now having Typical Girl Dad thoughts about how to keep them safe and teach them how to stay away from cooties (boys), among other things. With a soft sigh, he gently burps his newborn after she's done feeding, rocking her slowly as she tries to chew on her father's lucious locks. Laughter bubbles past his lips at her cute antics, and Nokto feels the stress fade away, even if just a little. His heart is still getting used to receiving love and believing in it, but it's grown enough by now to love his 3 new favorite people in the world.
"If they like my hair this much now, just wait till they start to grow their own."
LUKE 🐻
Luke could not be more the picture of a teddy bear than with his newborn all swaddled up and snuggled in with their giant of a dad. He can't help but wonder if his sister is watching over them, laying next to his spouse on the bed, their newborn but a tiny dot among the two full-grown humans taking up most of the space. He promises to be there for his child the way he never really had anyone, and hopes to live more in the present now, the stakes feeling higher than ever before. A whole new life, created on purpose, gently resting in one arm and atop his broad chest, nestled comfortably and trying to suck on their thumb. Luke holds his spouse's hand with his free one, squeezing it gently, looking into their eyes with the intensity of his own emeralds.
"Look at 'em.. they're so small. Just like you," he jokes before letting out a big yawn, "But sleepy, just like me."

All rights for the characters and original intellectual property belong to Cybird. My writing belongs to myself, Maladaptivedaydreamsx, and shall not be reproduced elsewhere without permission. Ok to translate as a reblog to this post. Ok to reblog, no permission required (for those who like to be safe and ask first, all's good little homies) 💜
If you enjoyed these, I might try to make a pt2 with the other characters soon? Likes and reblogs appreciated, thank you kindly for reading! If you have any hc's of your own, please feel free to respond with them, I'd love to hear what you all think! 😊❤️ (If you'd like to be put on a tag list for any future works, please reply, though it will be a general list for writings as I'm getting back into things slowly atm,, 🙏🏻)
Also, to the lovely person who sent this in likely about 2 years ago (after I'd stopped writing on here bc life happens) ... if you're still somewhere in the fandom and end up seeing this post, thank you for your patience, and for sending something in. I'm finally trying to combat the writer's block again! 🙌🏻

#ikepri headcanons#ikepri x reader#ikepri fanfic#ikemen prince#ikepri#ikemen prince fanfiction#ikepri jin#ikepri chevalier#ikepri clavis#ikepri leon#ikepri yves#ikepri licht#ikepri nokto#ikepri luke#jin grandet#chevalier michel#clavis lelouch#leon dompteur#yves kloss#licht klein#nokto klein#luke randolph#ikemen fanfic#ikemen series#mon écriture 💌#aerin.writings#my post 📫#l'hôtel.ikepri#l'hôtel.écriture#aerin.fics
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[TEASER! ] it's cupid, stupid! | lhs

synopsis -› To hell with Lee Heeseung, you couldn't find someone you hated more than the boy who's by your side no matter what. You figured that maybe the summer before university would be the best way to finally let go of him, and to leave the hate you have in your childhood- but no. What do you mean you have to spend ALL summer with him?
pair -› golden boy!heeseung x fem-pres!reader
release date -› IT'S HERE!!!
genre -› fluff, mutual pining, hurt/angst, slow burn i fear, bakery au, summer au, post highschool au
trope -› (slightly one sided) enemies to lovers
wc -› currently 6.7k! probably will be 10-15k
cw -› food mentions, a self indulgent characterization of my grandmother but she’s also everyone else’s in this fic, cursing, oh the miscommunication trope...sorry not sorry.
a/n -› even though i tried keeping food descriptions vague, i used the experience i had with my own grandma and her cooking to influence the way y/n grandmother cooks and the way it’s described so it might not be accurate for everyone! i understand not all cultures include baked goods with starches (since I mention a lot of flouring surfaces) so pls be kind to me :( ALSO!! i haven't written in MONTHS don't hate the writing pls we are all just in this fanfic hell tgt
© all rights are reserved to mygnolia 2024. republished, translated, and/or heavily referenced work will be reported and removed immediately.
Lee Heeseung might only have eleven characters to his name, but they spelt trouble in forty different ways.
It starts with the same old Lee Heeseung spilling his applesauce on you in the first grade, with his cup of mushy lukewarm grossness splattered across your new pants with glittery stars on them. You shriek when it happens, frantically wiping off the mess and yelling at his Lightning McQueen lunchbox with all of the bottled up rage a seven year old can have. His eyes are wide, but all his friends laugh and say girls are so angry all the time, so he stops himself from apologizing. Which, you think his friends were being a little rude to all girls alike, but what mattered was that Lee Heeseung never ended up saying sorry.
But that’s just one way of saying it. He hit you in the face with a ball, ran into you when your knee was scraped and you almost were bursting into tears, and tripped you in the lunch line.
Did the universe hate you, or did he?
You figured it was the latter.
Heeseung’s been stuck to you your entire life with some extra strong adhesive that you can’t seem to get off. You wish you could get some of the same glue that stuck you two to the hip and attach his tongue to the nearest streetlight, but things almost never worked in your favor. If you could catch him, just once, like one of the dumb boys who lick frozen poles in winter, you’d be satisfied.
The blackmail would trump any sort of Heeseung related adversity your elementary grade self had to deal with.
Unfortunately, the years have rendered you no protection against him, and in the small victories you find yourself in, you also see Heeseung right next to you. The exam you aced was topped by Heeseung with a 98%, just a bit higher than your 96%, and it couldn’t even feel good to talk about it because you knew all your friends talked about was how he did better.
There was no accomplishment anymore when Heeseung was around.
Heeseung was perfect in everyone’s eyes, a golden boy in their praises and a role model for their parents. If people didn’t want to be with Lee Heeseung, people wanted to be Lee Heeseung. That? That was something you hated. How could people want to be someone who you couldn’t stand?
“Have you seen the scissors?” Heeseung asks out of nowhere, startling you from the doorway.
Reaching for the ones you used to cut the parchment paper with, you hand the pair to him and with a mumbled ‘thank you’ he leaves.
In an odd way, you’re stunned by the silence that follows. A “you suck, _____!” would be more in character for villainous Lee Heeseung than whatever just happened. But you’re way too occupied with the bakery, and go back to cutting squares in the matcha cake.
It’s the same for the next hour until the rush ends and you get a bit more time to yourselves between orders. Heeseung agrees to wash the dishes and you clean the tables to the sound of your playlist from the speakers.
“You have good music taste.” Is the first thing that comes out of his mouth when he emerges. He wipes his hand on a white towel and you stare at him, utterly puzzled. Where’s the malice? Where’s his snarky comments?
“I’m waiting for you to tell me it’s not as good as yours, or something along those lines.” You deadpan.
Heeseung rolls his eyes. “I’m not that mean, I can give a compliment or two when I feel like it.”
“Oh, poor Lee Heeseung only has so much room in his heart to compliment people. How thankful should I be that you spend your daily supply of niceness on me?” You quip, cleaning off the tables. Your chest feels light and you don’t feel as angry as you did this morning.
Blame it on the lack of sleep.
“I think you should be bowing down to me and only talking when I tell you to.” He jokes, and when you glance up, there’s a semblance of a smile on his face. “Anyways, when are you leaving?”
“Whenever you leave.” You tell him, shrugging.
“Well, I stopped my your grandma’s house earlier.” Ah, so that’s where he went. “She said she didn’t want you to stay too late but she also wanted me to take you home, and I think she’d throw a fit if you didn’t.”
“I’d die before getting into a car with you, Lee Heeseung.”
“If I had to get into a car with you, that’s how I’d personally die.” He responds lightly. You furrow your eyebrows and rack your brain for some sort of retort that hurts Heeseung’s pride, but nothing comes up.
“My driving skills are very good, I’ll have you know.”
He jabs, “Didn’t think you had it in you.”
—
there is no taglist i'm lazy and i might not write for a while if u likey pls reblog or save into ur mental archive hehe ty- ren
#heeseung#heeseung x reader#heeseung enhypen#heeseung fluff#heeseung imagines#heeseung oneshots#enhypen#enhypen au#enhypen x reader#enhypen imagines#enhypen fluff#enha#enha x reader#enha fluff#enha imagines#enhypen scenarios#heeseung enha#engene#enha heeseung#enhypen heeseung#lee heeseung#lee heeseung x reader#lee heeseung imagines#lee heeseung fluff#lee heeseung x you#heeseung smut#enhypen smut#lee heeseung smut
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Hii I hope I’m not being annoying with my asks (same person who asked you about your favourite yanderes) but I cant help myself— I really like your perspective on them! I specially love reading your Wriothesley ones (as a big fan of Wriothesley myself, in fact I got to know of your blog through the things you wrote about him). Reading your reply to my ask, I had a few questions:
- Why do you think Zhongli and Neuvillette would become so helplessly infatuated? And another question for them, what do you think they’d do with a human lover? Specially Zhongli. I personally feel like he’d become a yandere because of how long he’s lived. He’s lost all his friends and is extremely reminiscent about the past and all that he’s lost due to the archon war and whatnot. He never felt as if his friends were truly his, as in, they’d all slipped from his fingers, and he couldn’t save them. So, if he were to have a human/mortal reader who was bound to die one day, what would he do? Same for Neuvillete, although I feel as if he doesn’t truly understand the pain of being the sole survivor of age as much as Zhongli does.
- Do you think Zhongli would ever harm/kill his lover? I mean, it is very likely that he is the one who killed Guizhong based off the various evidences we find hidden in textbooks (for context, I am not implying they were lovers, but merely stating this because they truly were inseparable even as friends) and I can’t help but wonder— would he do the same to his lover? He didn’t hesitate to kill her, his closest friend, so what if a situation were to arise where he would have to harm them? What if they go mad from abyssal corruption? Or what if they’re on the brink of death? would he want none to claim their life except him?
- Of course I have to include Wriothesley. I have many questions about him. He is such a mystery after all. But I want to start by saying how I agree on the reasoning behind his infatuation. He has been isolated from love all his life. His heart has never felt it, until now. So why would he let us go? But I do wonder.. what type of lover would he be? I know you’ve written before on what type of yandere he would be, but— well, a personal HC of mine is that he absoluely hates having to resort to such methods and would not have done so if not forced to. (For example, I believe he would’ve tried to court us in a normal way rather than using extreme measures FIRST unless something happens that makes him feel as if we are slipping away from him, like us moving to another nation or rejecting him) and based on that I’d like to believe that he would try to swallow his guilt and ‘make things right’. He’d try to be the best partner for us, I’m sure of that. So when he’s trying to be a partner instead of a captor, what kind of person do you think he’d be?
Ohh I had many questions but I’m short on time and can’t really type out the rest so I’ll stick to these for now. Again, if they are too much, you can just ignore them. Thank you!
CW: Yandere Themes
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Hello again! Thank you so much for all these wonderful questions, I apologize that I haven't answered them in a very timely manner haha. I'm just going to go over them all one by one, so let me know if I missed any or if there's anything else you'd like me to talk about!
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Why do you think Zhongli and Neuvillette would become so helplessly infatuated?
I've sort of envisioned Zhongli and Neuvillette as two sides to the same coin as yanderes: they're both dragons, they're both god-like beings, they're both wise, and they're both well-respected. I think something that acts as a catalyst to their love is their draconic instincts and the desire to hoard treasures. I also can see there being a protective side to their feelings. I definitely agree with your point that Zhongli would develop yandere tendencies because he lived through the Archon War and likely saw death on a near-daily basis, and Neuvillette works as a judge and sees the worst of humanity. I will say I think Zhongli would be more inclined to act on his desires compared to Neuvillette because Neuvillette has a very strong moral compass due to his position as the Iudex of Fontaine, and I think he really struggles compared to Zhongli to act on his urges. With a human reader, I think because both of them understand how ephemeral your life is, they're very cautious. I do think that Zhongli acts with much more urgency compared to Neuvillette, be it by isolating his beloved, or even taking them away from Teyvat entirely and keeping them in an adeptal domain. Comparatively, Neuvillette I feel would be more likely to give you more leeway and allow you to go out in public, with supervision, of course. I would say they also use their powers to extend your lifespan, but I'm not very familiar with Genshin lore so I don't know exactly how that would work.
Do you think Zhongli would ever harm/kill his lover?
This is a challenging question for me to answer in multiple ways, primarily because I don't particularly enjoy writing yanderes that hurt their lovers. I think that present-day Zhongli wouldn't hurt his lover unless, like you stated in your ask, it would be out of mercy. I find this question to be really fascinating when looking at Zhongli in the past, when he took the name of Morax or Rex Lapis. A personal interpretation of mine is that Morax as a yandere would be incredibly aggressive in how he would act on his feelings. With present-day Zhongli, I would imagine he would attempt to convince his lover to submit to his control; with Morax, I think he would simply rely on using his power to bend his lover to his will. Should they break, he'd simply mold the fragments of his lover's soul to fit the form he desired. Rex Lapis would fit somewhere between these two, not as forceful as Morax but not as refined as Zhongli.
What type of lover would Wriothesley be?
I think he'd be incredibly doting, regardless of if we're looking at him in a yandere AU or canonically. If you're staying in Meropide to be with him, I think he recognizes how much you're sacrificing to be with him, and he does his best to return the favor by doing whatever you ask, within reason, of course. You want tea imported from Inazuma? He'll get shipments of seven different varieties. You want traditional folk songs from Mondstadt on vinyl? He'll hire somebody to record a bard singing. You play piano and need somewhere to practice? He'll put in an order for the finest grand piano in all of Teyvat, and have movers put it in his office. When he's working, he likes it when you come and sit on his lap and just talk to him, as it provides a respite from the bureaucratic drudgery he deals with on the daily. If he has to handle a situation between inmates, best believe he comes home ready to hold you tight against his chest for at least an hour. Even canonically, I think he'd prefer you don't wander around the prison alone and would instead ask you to stay in his personal quarters or his office. Beyond just seeing him as being a little clingy outside of a yandere AU, I think he'd worry that, as the lover of the Duke of Meropide, the inmates might try to use you as a bargaining chip to barter for their freedom. Because of this, he tries to make staying in as enticing as possible by spoiling you with whatever you wish for.
As a yandere, I think this protective instinct wins out against any argument you might try to pose to gain your freedom. Even if you aren't his lover yet, rumors spread dangerously quick in Meropide, and he can't hide how he watches over you as you go about your day. I also definitely believe if he has to, he's willing to do more...unsavory things to ensure your safety, so long as you don't learn about them. Meropide is outside of Fontaine's jurisdiction, after all. With you safe and sound, it's not like you'll be hearing about anyone going missing anyways.
#i hope this is okay! lmk if there are any other questions u want answered anon and tysm for this amazing ask! you have so many great ideas!#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere drabble#yandere genshin#yandere genshin x reader#yandere genshin impact#yandere genshin impact x reader#yandere genshin impact x you#yandere genshin x you#yandere genshin imagines#yandere genshin x gender neutral reader#yandere zhongli#yandere neuvillette#yandere wriothesley#yandere zhongli x reader#yandere neuvillette x reader#yandere wriothesley x reader#genshin#genshin impact#genshin x reader#genshin x gender neutral reader#genshin x you#genshin x y/n#genshin x male reader#yandere genshin impact x gender neutral reader#genshin impact x you#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact x gender neutral reader
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hihiii babee, hey i can ask you a kyle with an s/o who have daddy issues?? you dont need to specify but if you will maybe a thing more like reader is realising/feeling they're more like him every day and they hate this but they know they can't be any other way. sorry if the written is badd english is not my first language :((
Don't apologize! I got the gist of what you said pretty well- I just hope you like it!
I wasn't sure if you were looking for some angst, but as soon as I started writing that's what flowed out. I haven't really written it much before so it was interesting to actually do so now!
Summary: In which you realize the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and now Kyle had to deal with said apple
Word Count: 3290
Warnings: daddy issues, mention of neglect/abusive childhood, alcohol, mental issues (ANGST/COMFORT)
Just Like Him- Kyle Broflovski x Reader
All sorts of things pass down through family trees, moving through the roots and trunk, traveling down branches and nourishing the leaves of the current generation.
You've been told your eyes were your mother's, bright and full of wonder even when you grew out of childhood. You got your grandfather's nose, something that most of that side of the family shared. Looking through old albums you could even see your familiar face shape on, who you guessed was, a long forgotten relative; the name on the back of the photo too light and scratched to tell.
However, more than looks made their way through the tree.
The thing about being a child is that so much flew past your radar. Behaviors and incidents that a young mind could only process as ‘normal,’ things that you could not understand as being damaging because you trusted those whose job it was to care for you.
When you got old enough to finally open those eyes of your mother's, old enough to comprehend the hand you had been dealt, that was when you realized just what you had inherited.
_____
Kyle had been a godsend, truly. It had started as an easy friendship in a college course and blossomed into weeknight flirtations over textbooks and notes. It was natural and flowed, so much so that by the time you two had put an actual label on things you had already been dating for months.
He had become an impossibly bright spot in your life, bringing with him opportunities to get out of your mind, a constant that kept you grounded even in moments when you felt as though you were drifting away. During this time everything was wonderful- no worries, no arguments, nothing at all that could possibly make trouble for either of you.
After graduation you had moved back home briefly as a way to save money while you searched for a job. Going from the freedom of the city, where you could do just about anything you wanted, to being confined back into your small childhood bedroom was more than difficult. It didn’t help that he was still there.
You didn’t want to say that your dad was a bad father. There were still a few good memories you could recall that were too sweet to sully for the little one you still cherished inside of you. What you could say, however, was that he wasn’t a good man. Not that you knew that at the time.
Little feet tiptoeing around in the middle of the day, refraining from making any noise as they crept past a closed bedroom door. Going outside the second those harsh words hit your ears, the meaning of them escaping you as they were barked at your mother. Knowing when to shut up as the silence from him was enough instruction for how things would be for the evening. The smell of alcohol. The increasing mess throughout the house. The stifling air of anger. These were things you had ingrained into you before you could even read, habits that to this day kicked in like muscle memory.
It wasn’t as bad nowadays, age mellowing out your father. But the damage was still there.
You had kept that part of your life very separate from Kyle, suggesting that you would make the drive to visit him since he had work or that some weird thing was going on back home. Inquiries about meeting the family had been expertly dodged with little problems popping up every time things were planned. If Kyle thought it was a coincidence, he never said anything, and you sure as hell weren’t either. Anything to keep him from looking at you differently.
It worked for a time. Every visit with him made you feel like a completely different person, like you had flipped a switch and everything you had been dealing with hadn’t even existed in the first place. As months had passed the gap between those visits shortened more and more until eventually neither of you could stand the distance. Soon enough your browser history was filled with apartment listings and craigslists posts for furniture, the future so bright and shiny that you couldn’t feel the dark fingers of the past crawling up your back.
_____
It had been a dream. Having your eyes open to see those red curls only felt sweeter every day, the knowledge that you had taken a large step with someone else keeping your heart full. Even the mundane routines of life had a sparkle that you admired.
You had nothing but joy at your fingertips as you made that space a home. It was your kitchen that you cooked in with Kyle humming at your side. It was your living room where you could laugh and dance with the one you love. It was your bedroom where loving whispers filled the air.
You might have still struggled with finding a job, your field of work more competitive than you had once thought. A far less exciting temporary job at a grocery store was enough so long as you could continue residing in this fantasy life of yours.
Looking back on it you know that’s what it was. A fantasy.
Shifts at work grew longer as weeks flew by, the pages of the calendar you had bought when you moved being turned up much sooner than you anticipated. You had put out resumes and attempted to make connections only to be faced with rejection after rejection. On top of that you had fallen into some bad habits.
You had never been a large drinker, but with the increased stress you found that imbibing in a drink or two was a large help with unwinding at the end of the day. You could even share with Kyle- the two of you laughing until the wee hours when you could finally fall into bed. You didn’t even mind the small headaches when your eyes opened.
There had also been missed shifts at work. It wasn’t anything serious, you had told yourself, plenty of people take mental health days when needed. You had been discouraged and your managers were kind of assholes, so if you took a day off here and there to feel better what was the problem?
Kyle had noticed.
He thought it was a bit strange that those few drinks during the week turned into a nightly thing, but it didn’t seem harmful. At least it didn’t until he realized that the new bottle of wine Wendy had sent over just the day before laid empty in the trash. Your hangovers had begun to make themselves a part of your mornings, but he didn’t say anything.
When you started taking those ‘mental health days’ he kept himself from chastising you. After all, everyone took days like that even if he didn’t, and he knew the pressure you had been feeling. He didn’t want to add to that, not even after he realized that those mental health days sometimes stretched out into a week, your work uniform still folded on the dresser when he came home.
Kyle observed your mood changes as well, how those bright smiles he so loved now appeared more forced. He noticed the air in the apartment growing heavier day by day as he watched your light dim. He wanted to say something then, but the words were stuck.
_____
“Hey…” Kyle said hesitantly as he approached you. It was a Saturday, an odd day off for the both of you to have at the same time. Nursing a slight hangover you sat on a stool letting your forehead rest against the cool granite.
“Hey hon,” lifting your gaze, you winced as the natural light from the windows hit your face. “What’s up?”
“I, uh…I was hoping to talk to you a bit this morning about some things…”
At once your eyes were open and alert, the way Kyle stood hunched with hands digging into his pockets setting off an alarm inside your head. He never looked like this. Kyle was the kind of guy that approached others with a raised head and nothing less than the utmost confidence. He was sure of himself and what he had to say.
Kyle took your stare as an answer, taking a deep breath before speaking.
“Are you…okay? Lately you’ve been…different,” his hands left his pockets, coming up to tug at the edge of his T-shirt. “I don’t want you to think I’m being judgemental or anything but you’ve been drinking more and missing work-”
“And?” You snapped, voice growing hard. “It’s not like the job is so important and I told you the drinks help at night. You even had one last night!”
“But you’re doing it every night Y/N! You don’t think I can hear the cans and bottles in the trash when I take it out?”
Your eyes narrowed. Is that what this whole show was? Him coming to you like a kicked dog just to make you feel like shit? Just who in the hell did he think he was?
“Just because you don’t know how to relax doesn’t mean you get to criticize me on how I do it.”
“But that’s not what you’re doing! You’re laying around and getting drunk after doing nothing!” Fisting his shirt Kyle tried to keep his volume low. “You’re not happy anymore, and-”
“Maybe I’m not happy because you keep fucking nagging me!” It was like something in you broke, the dam breaking allowing the flow of insecurities and nasty thoughts you had thrown away to come forth. “You know Kyle, not everyone can have their shit together like you can. I know I’m not where I should be, but what makes it worse is that you can’t even cut me some slack, like you’re so much better just because you’ve kissed ass enough to get to where you are.”
With every angry thought that spewed out you grew louder, words bouncing off the walls in an echo that tainted everything it touched. Kyle only stood there motionless, his eyebrows creasing while he dropped his arms.
“Well?”
“...” Swallowing, Kyle’s eyes veered away from you. As his head turned you caught how misty they appeared, your stomach dropping to your feet at the sight.
“I-”
“I’m going out. Text you later.” With not even a glance back Kyle grabbed his keys and walked right out the door, leaving you alone.
_____
What in the fuck was I even saying?
He hadn’t been gone for longer than 10 minutes when the reality of the conversation slammed into you. Your mind replayed every second, pausing frame by frame to analyze and judge yourself from every angle.
All he tried to do was talk to you. To start a conversation. To fix something he thought was hurting you. You saw how he approached, like you were some animal that would bite without warning, and with a heavy heart you realized he was right.
Scenes from past weeks played behind your eyes. Moments where you couldn’t even recognize yourself as you sat, rotting on the couch with mess all around you. You saw the way you snapped at Kyle for just talking. You saw the darkness you had brought into this home, and how it morphed into something far too familiar.
You couldn’t pinpoint when things had changed. Looking back you definitely knew your drinking had ramped up, that the choices you were making weren’t ones you should be. But for whatever reason, you didn’t care. You couldn’t bring yourself to until this very moment.
In the back of your mind you knew why. You just desperately didn’t want to acknowledge it.
To do so meant that you had to face facts. To do so meant you had to admit that you were like him.
That you were angry and resentful. That you were a ticking time bomb that caused others to walk softly around you. That you brought down everything around you, dragging those you were supposed to love into ditches filled with nothing but dirt and shit.
And you couldn’t even help it. Just like the blood that flowed through your veins and the DNA that built you from the ground up this was predestined. You were your father��s daughter and nothing was going to change that. Not distance. Not time. Not love.
_____
You woke up to the sound of the front door shutting, the small click of the lock startling in the quiet of the apartment. Eyes crusted shut with tears opened to find that the light that had once painted the walls was now gone. Footsteps approached slowly until a dark pant leg came into view.
Squatting down, Kyle took in your curled form. With your tear streaked cheeks and the circles under your eyes he felt his heart squeeze. He needed time away, distance from the anger you had thrown at him. Even as his feet carried him around the city he still felt as miserable as you looked.
“I’m sorry,” your voice cracked, “I’m so so sorry, Kyle. I…you didn’t deserve any of that. I have so much wrong with me and I can’t…Goddammit.”
Fat tears fell, droplets hitting your sleeves as you held yourself together. It felt like you were going to shatter, the pressure inside begging to break you into tiny pieces. You almost wanted it to. At least then you could feel that instead of the heartbreak that was coming.
Watching as you crumbled in front of him, Kyle felt so lost. He was no stranger to loving someone who had issues, his childhood friends coming to the forefront of his mind. There was no question that he would remain by them regardless of what they were going through, no matter how difficult they might become as they healed.
But they shared their grief. They allowed him to see their sorrow and their troubles. Kyle wasn't stupid by any means, he could clearly see you struggling and could make his own guesses as to why, but he needed you to let him in. His friends gave him a chance to be there. Why couldn't you do the same?
“Can you look at me, please?” A gentle hand lifted your chin, bringing your eyes to his. “I forgive you. You really hurt me with what you said, but I forgive you.”
“Why?”
“I know you. I know who you are, inside and out- don’t say that I don’t,” he said as you opened your mouth to interject. “I know there are things you haven’t shared with me, whether you’re ashamed or scared, I don’t know. I know you make excuses.”
“I…I can’t-”
“I can see it weighing you down. I’m going to be honest with you, and I need you to just listen.” Kyle now sat back fully, taking your hands in his. He wanted to be gentle with you but he also needed you to understand what he was seeing. “You’re drowning, and I can’t keep watching it, nor can I let it continue to go on. I need you to trust that I am here for you.”
Kyle didn’t understand what he was asking. He didn’t see that this wasn’t just some little issue he could slap a bandaid on. You stamped down the flicker of heat you felt, as part of you knew he wasn’t being hurtful.
“What if this is just how I am?” The question sounded so small coming from you, as though you were a child hoping to not find trouble from asking it.
“I don’t think so, I really don’t,” sucking his teeth, Kyle thought for a moment. He couldn't see himself living like this forever, in a home so tense he couldn't breathe. He didn't want that for him, and he certainly didn't want that for you. With determination, he continued his thoughts. “And if it is…well, I suppose we’ll work through it. But I need you to trust me first…Can you do that?”
You felt the word ‘no’ at the back of your throat, simply waiting to be let out, but something stopped you. Kyle looked so earnest, so sincere. You knew he didn’t sugarcoat things, that he abhorred lying, so why were you so hesitant to let him in?
Your father didn’t take chances.
“There’s…a lot of things I haven’t told you about,” you began shakily. You felt his hands squeeze your own.
“I’m all ears. I mean it.”
_____
It had been a long, long night.
You stumbled through memories, stories, and anecdotes of your childhood, the picture of your upbringing coming into focus as the night wore on. It was embarrassing having to reveal it all, especially to Kyle who seemed to have the most normal family life in existence.
The redhead only gave you patience. He waited as you struggled to share and held you when you could finally say no more.
The gears in Kyle's head turned as you finished speaking. He had read enough of his psychology texts to see what was going on, but what you needed right now was comfort, not a therapist. You needed him.
“How do you feel?” His question broke through the silence that had fallen between you.
“...Nervous,” hiccuping once, you wiped your face for the hundredth time, the sticky feeling from crying still there. “I didn't want you to see me differently. I thought if I just hid it you wouldn't have to know.”
“Have to know what? That you had a shitty father? In no way would I sit here and blame you for any of that.” Rubbing a hand down your arm, he rested his head in yours. This was the closest he had felt to you in weeks.
“That I'm like him. You don't need that in your life.”
“First of all, only I get to decide what I need in my life and what I don't. Second,” he paused, taking a deep breath, “you're not him. You've only been doing what you've seen and learned and no one, I mean no one, has a right to sit there and judge you for that.”
You sat stunned in his embrace, taking in those words like a lifeline.
“You've been stressed and put down a lot lately, holding that in would make anyone snap,” he carried on after hearing no response. “If I got you set up with someone that could help, would that be alright?”
“What do you mean?” Pulling away you looked at him, confusion evident on your features. “Like a doctor?”
“Like a doctor,” he nodded. He could see the apprehension in your eyes, your gaze darting away from him quickly. “It's just someone who can listen and offer some insight. And I'll be here too, I already told you I'm not leaving.”
“...and if it doesn't work? If it doesn't fix me?”
“We're not trying to ‘fix’ you as there's nothing to fix. You have trauma, you're allowed to work through it and find healthier ways to cope. It might even help you understand yourself a little better.”
Your eyes traced the face in front of you. The scruff of his beard, the wild red curls on his head, the eyes filled with something so genuine and profound that you couldn't even open your mouth to argue.
“We'll work on it together, yeah? One step at a time.” And of course that damned smile, you thought as you watched the corners of his mouth turn up.
“One step at a time.”
Pulling you up and back into his arms, Kyle led you to the bedroom. For tonight you could rest knowing things were more than just fine, and that tomorrow could start new.
#kyle broflovski x y/n#kyle broflovski x reader#kyle broflovski x you#south park fanfiction#south park x reader#south park x you#south park x y/n#request
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SSR Riddle Rosehearts - Dorm Uniform Vignette
"Only the roses may be dyed red"
[Heartslabyul Dorm – Lounge]
Cater: Urrrrgh. Man, I still can't memorize all this~!
Trey: Oh, c'mon, Cater. You're usually pretty good at this kind of thing, aren't you?
Cater: Even so, Trey-kun.
Cater: There's just some stuff people can and can't do, y'know...
Trey: You're in danger of failing the class if you don't do well on next week's practical magic written exam, is that right?
Cater: Yuuup. I gotta get these formulas into my head one way or another.
Trey: You say that, and then open up Magicam, huh.
Cater: Well, 'cause I'm not feelin' it at all~
Cater: If this exam was asking for all the dishes on a cute café on Magicam…
Cater: Or the sale date of a trendy new outfit, I could totally memorize everything no problem.
[Riddle arrives]
Riddle: Why are the two of you looking so grim?
Trey: Hey, Riddle. I'm just helping Cater study for his upcoming practical magic exam. He's at risk of failing.
Riddle: What did you just say?
Cater: Hey, wait, Trey-kun! You don't need to tell him that!
Trey: Since practical magic is a required class, failing it can mean being held back a year.
Riddle: Cater. Were your grades so poor that you could actually be held back?
Riddle: In this dormitory, only the roses may be dyed red! It will be off with your head if you're telling me your assignments are nothing but corrective red marks!
Cater: N-No, that's not it! This is the only one I'm having trouble with! I don't get any bad grades in any other course!
Riddle: You should be doing your darndest to not even have one subject in the red.
Riddle: And? What is it that's puzzling you so?
Cater: That'd be "infusing magic to make automatic cleaning implements"
Riddle: Automatic cleaning implements, I see… That would be magic to make brooms and rags and the like clean a room on its own.
Riddle: As a sophomore, I haven't come across that in class yet, however I've read up on the process in a book before.
Cater: It's the "auto" part that's tripping me up. Setting up the spell is just like coding.
Cater: It fails if each step isn't carried out in the proper order… But I just can't get my head around it…
Trey: True. This sort of magic is supposed to have the implements avoid fragile objects, or adjust how much power it requires when on carpet…
Trey: Those spells need to be placed on the cleaning tools first in order for everything to work out, yeah.
Riddle: Your unique magic allows you to control your own doppelgangers, does it not?
Riddle: You're capable of doing such high-level magic, so why does this cause you to struggle so?
Cater: Hmmm. Sure, I can kinda multi-task and do a bunch of stuff at the same time, but maybe I'm just not that good at prepping stuff ahead of time…
Riddle: I suppose that means you may have a grasp of the fundamentals, but have trouble implementing it… I see.
Riddle: Well, alright. Then I shall teach this to you.
Cater: Eh, seriously?
Trey: But hey, this is a junior-level course. You sure?
Riddle: Who do you think you're talking to? I am the Housewarden of Heartslabyul.
Riddle: As Housewarden, I should be expected to help solve the issues of all my dorm students, regardless of grade.
Riddle: From the moment I became Housewarden, there has not been a single Heartslabyul student who have repeated a year, or dropped out of this school.
Riddle: Moreover, for as long as I am Housewarden, I will not allow a single student to flunk a course!
Riddle: Leave it all to me. I will be certain to help raise your grades, Cater.
[Library]
Deuce: Uhh, was the shelf of grimoires on alchemy over here?
Riddle: Perhaps it should start with levitation magic… No, perhaps it would be better to begin the spell with some sort of clairvoyant magic.
Riddle: The books that delve deeper into this should be… Ack!
[slam! thud, thud, thud!]
Deuce: Wah!
Riddle: Ouch… My apologies, I was not looking where I was going.
Deuce: Housewarden Rosehearts! I'm so sorry!
Riddle: Oh, it's just you, Deuce.
Deuce: Please, let me help pick up your books… Wait, are you planning on reading all of these?
Riddle: That's right. Is something wrong with that?
Deuce: There's over 20 thick and difficult looking grimoires here…
Riddle: I'm currently creating notes to help Cater study for his exams. These are all required materials for that.
Riddle: After all, it is my responsibility to help solve any problems my dorm students are facing.
Deuce: W-Wow, that's amazing of you…! I'm floored.
Deuce: I'm not really any good for anything more than carrying stuff, so… Please let me carry these books to the desk for you!
Riddle: Thanks, that's a load off my shoulders.
Riddle: Mm. He should have no problem passing his exam if I compile the information in these grimoires.
Riddle: I cannot wait to hand over these study notes over to Cater.
[Heartslabyul Dorm – Hallway]
Riddle: Hold, Cater!!!!!!!!!
Riddle: How are you unable to memorize a mere 300 pages of text!?!?
Riddle: I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!
Cater: There's no way anyone can memorize 300 pages of notes in just one or two days!
Cater: Especially not when it's written in small script on a whole sheet of paper!
Cater: Don't get all red-faced and shout at me like that~!
Trey: Now, now, Riddle. Calm down a little.
Riddle: Haaah… R-Right, I got carried away. My apologies.
Riddle: Ahem. Listen carefully, Cater.
Riddle: These exam notes I compiled together has been made specifically to prepare you for any possible question that may come up on the exam.
Riddle: Just by memorizing those 300 pages, you should be able to solve every basic formula, practical application and trick question.
Riddle: Therefore, you should just memorize all of this text without worrying about how complicated it would be!
Cater: I totally get that you worked your butt off to put this together, and I totally want to memorize it, I really do!
Cater: But whenever I open up the textbooks, I only get about 3 pages in before I get super drowsy…
Riddle: The third page?
Riddle: That means you've not even gone past the table of contents!
Riddle: YOU DEFINITELY DESERVE TO LOSE YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!
Trey: R-Riddle, I feel you, but calm down a little…
Riddle: Urrrrghhh…!!
Trey: Cater, come on. If it makes you sleepy, then you should try to memorize it by reading the contents out loud.
Trey: Your busy Housewarden went through the troubles of putting this together for you.
Cater: Yeah, you're right. Sorry…
Cater: Alright, then. I got less than a week before my test, so I'm gonna definitely hunker down and test starting right now!
Riddle: Hmph. If you fail after I did all this…
Riddle: It'll absolutely be off with your head, understand!?
Cater: I-I'll do my best…
Cater: I'll upload a declaration of intent onto Magicam and log off for a bit.
Cater: First, I'll snap a pic of the exam notes that you made for me…
[click]
Cater: #StudyingForTests #300PagesOfNotes #Riddle-kunsHandicraft #HunkeringDownStartingToday #NoDrowsingOff
Cater: Aaand uploaded. Okay, then I'm gonna head back to my room to study. Thanks, you two.
[Cater walks away]
Riddle: Good grief. Cater is just as much of a handful as the others!
Riddle: His studies are suffering because he's got Magicam open non-stop.
Trey: I do sympathize wanting to avoid doing things you don't want, though.
Riddle: Students shouldn't be avoiding their studies, however.
Trey: Well, you're not wrong there…
Trey: …Riddle, is there any food you dislike?
Riddle: Hm? Why are you asking that all of a sudden?
Riddle: Well, if I had to pick something… I suppose I don't want to eat anything that's unhealthy or has a strong flavor.
Trey: Let's say you absolutely had to finish a full dish with pungent flavors…
Trey: How would you try to eat it, Riddle?
Riddle: Hmm. I would implement a method that would allow it to go down easier.
Riddle: Perhaps I would reduce the flavor by thinning it with hot water, or eat it bite by bite alongside bread or rice to help it go down.
Riddle: Or I could eat it with something I like…
Riddle: …............Ah!
Riddle: I understand now, so that's what you mean!
Riddle: Then maybe, for Cater…!
Trey: What's up, Riddle?
Riddle: Trey, I need you to teach me something.
[Heartslabyul Dorm – Rose Maze]
Cater: Yaaaaawn~ …Sleepy…
Cater: There's no way I can survive without Magicam… I'm logging back in. Let's goooo early morning Magicam scrolling~
Riddle: That yawn was as big as a walrus's when its trying to devour oysters, Cater.
Cater: Ack, Riddle-kun! M-Morning~ You're looking super cute today!
Cater: Ah, w-wait, I'm not! It's not like I was pulling up Magicam or something…
Riddle: Right, speaking of Magicam…
Riddle: Actually, I set up a Magicam account yesterday.
Cater: Oh, cool…. Wait, huuuh!!??
Cater: You? You're using Magicam!?
Riddle: What's with that reaction?
Riddle: Am I not allowed to use that application?
Cater: No, no, that's not what I mean!! I was just surprised, since you always said you had no interest up until now.
Riddle: Hmph. It just so happened that the mood struck me.
Riddle: Therefore, I thought I should at least ask for your friend ID.
Cater: Sure, I'll add you! I'm totally looking forward to the types of pics you're gonna upload, Riddle-kun~☆
Riddle: Heh, you would do well to check it every day so as to not miss anything.
[Classroom]
[chime ♪]
Cater: Oh, Riddle-kun uploaded something to Magicam! I should take a look.
Cater: I wonder what kinda pic he posted~♪
Cater: …Huh? What is this?
Cater: Is this… a picture of a broom?
Riddle: #First #WhileIncanting #Touch4CornersOfRoomWithBroom #LevitationMagic #SageAndSalt
Cater: Haha, he's using a ton of weird tags. It's cute seeing him trying something new.
[Heartslabyul Dorm – Cater's Room]
[chime ♪]
Cater: Riddle-kun's uploaded something again. This time it's… a towel? Wait, no…
Cater: It's a cleaning rag!
Cater: Why is he uploading a picture of something like that?
Cater: He should be posting selfies, or tasty looking lunches, or other stuff that'll be a hit on Magicam.
Riddle: #AfterBroom #DropMagestoneInBucketOfWater #5DropsPurificationPotion #WaterTempBelow20C #FollowExactly!
Cater: Hm? Wait, are these tags…?
[Heartslabyul Dorm – Riddle's Room]
Riddle: Next is the magical formula for brushing the carpet.
Riddle: First, I'll take a picture of the brush… Hmm, what tags should I use?
Riddle: "#WaterMagic #FireplaceAsh #SilverApple" Then... Also, this one…
Riddle: Perfect. …Uploaded.
Riddle: Oh. Cater's already "liked" it.
Riddle: It looks as though he's also uploaded a picture of how far he's progressed in his test studies.
Riddle: I'll also give him a "like"… Good.
[Heartslabyul Dorm – Lounge]
―A few days later
Cater: Riddle-kun!! Trey-kun!
Riddle: Ah, Cater. How did you do on the practical magic test?
Cater: Ta-da, look! I got an 85 on the written exam, and an A during the prac app!
Riddle: Amazing, you did it!
Riddle: …Ahem.
Trey: Good job, Cater.
Cater: Now I won't be held back! Thanks a ton, Riddle-kun!
Riddle: Hmph. Well, of course, I took care to properly instruct you. This is only the natural outcome.
Trey: I was pretty surprised when Riddle asked me to teach him how to set up a Magicam account…
Trey: But I definitely wasn't expecting him to upload photos on Magicam and use tags to help Cater learn the magical theories.
Cater: Yeah, that was a genius idea!
Cater: Those hashtags you used to spell out the magical formulas were way way way useful!
Cater: Whenever I tried frantically memorizing the notes, I'd just find myself dozing off, but that helped stick in my head so easy.
Cater: As thanks, I'll have to take you to a pancake café that took off on Magicam sometime ♡
Riddle: Well, aren't you riding high…? This better not happen again.
Riddle: If you ever find yourself in a situation where you may fail your courses again, it'll be off with your head!
Cater: I know, I know ♪ I'll work hard starting today!
Riddle: Good answer. Then, let's start with…
[thud!]
Cater: Guh, what's with all these books?
Riddle: This is merely the beginning. You are to read through every single one of these in preparation for your next test!
Cater: Eeehhhh, Riddle-kun, you serious?
Riddle: I've told you before, haven't I? For as long as I am Housewarden…
Riddle: Not a single Heartslabyul student will ever be held back!
Requested by @farfalla049.
#twisted wonderland#twst#riddle rosehearts#deuce spade#cater diamond#trey clover#twst riddle#twst deuce#twst cater#twst trey#twst translation
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This may sound a bit silly, and I apologize if you've gotten this kind of ask before (please feel free to tell me to look for it or link posts if you want; no need for any answer even, there's no pressure), but I think unrecorded deities have been reaching out to me. I'm a bit nervous to reach back because I'm not sure how to verify who they are effectively. I also typically ask the deities I worship for protection, but I feel like that wouldn't be very respectful if the unrecorded deities truly are reaching out, you know? I want to be considerate of the fact that they, themselves, are also deities. Do you have any advice on what I can do to verify them? Do you know of ways to protect myself that wouldn't be seen as disrespectful? If you're unsure, it's totally ok. I appreciate any and all advice you may have, as I've never really encountered this before.
Regardless if you choose to answer, thank you for being here! I love your blog, and whenever I see your posts on my dash, it brings me a smile. Thank you, and take care! c:
Vetting unrecorded entities is very different from vetting recorded ones in my experience, but you can still do it! I've found it to be a much slower, longer process, that you really have to be patient and dedicated for. It's much more about getting to know the entity for who they are as an individual than it is about checking them against known facts. So be prepared to be in for the long haul!
I've written about my methods of vetting entities, both unrecorded and recorded in a couple of places. I have sort of an intro to my process of vetting an unrecorded entity here, it lays out the idea of checking the entity against themselves and looking for internal consistency. I combine this method of getting to know you questions with my note taking methods: Part 1 and Part 2 respectively. By having good notes I can establish that consistency and look for contradictions. Does the entity say something in one visit, and then contradict it the next time I encounter them? To me that's not a reason to cut off contact, but it is something to ask them about. Maybe it's a complicated thing for that entity, maybe there's a story, maybe they're reveling truths bit by bit as they come to trust me. There's a chance they may have lied to me, and I can ask them why. I'm very willing to hear explanations when I'm getting to know a new spirit, and for things to change as I get to know them. Sometimes they are remembering things about themselves as they are telling it to me. This doesn't apply to an unrecorded entity who is a regular spirit who has just never been written down, like a local nature spirit, or an individual one of the Fair Folk, but I've found that working with the really truly ancient spirits that maybe haven't interacted with a human in very long time can be a bit like talking to someone with dementia. I was started working on returning the Forgotten Ones in the same year that I lost my Pop-Pop to Parkinsons, and communicating to them in the begin was a lot like talking to him at the end. They knew who they were, loosely, but the details were foggy and vague, and would sometimes change a bit from visit to visit, like my Pop-Pop remembering my Nona was the most beautiful girl in the world, but not what her name was.
As for asking for protection I'm going to ask you this. Do you think it's disrespectful to ask the recorded entities and deities that you have relationships with for protection? If asking for blessings and protection is part of your normal way of interacting with a recorded deity I think it would be more disrespectful to an unrecorded one if you treated them differently. I don't really have too much to do with recorded deities anymore, but when I did I always made a point to treat them and the Forgotten Ones the same. It was important to me to show both the Forgotten Ones and the recorded deities that they were equal to me, and that the Forgotten Ones weren't different, lesser, or other in any way because of their unrecorded-ness. They were all just spirits in silly hats.
Personally, to be perfectly frank, I don't like relying on outside forces for protection. I've never been one to ask a deity or spirit for protection, it's too reliant on the benevolence of an external being, which could be revoked if a relationship ever soured. So while I think you could ask an unrecorded deity for it, I wouldn't personally recommend it. I would instead recommend coming up with a self reliant method of protection. I prefer wards on my living space and personal shields built into enchanted jewelry for when I leave my warded space, but there are other methods of protection spells out there. You could probably tweak my "Retreat Into Your Shell" Spell to be more general protection, it's sort of geared at emotional protection as designed, if you wanted to! Would just need to swap the herbs and then design your sigil/symbol for what you want.
#witchcraft#pagan#spirit work#ask stag stuff#unrecorded gods#Stag's silly hat theory#protection spell
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Powder Blues AU
So I've been thinking about the different ways Powder×Jinx could work given that Jinx leaves Zaun and Piltover.
I think it'd be a slowburn in regards to Powder being able to see Vi and Ekko, and a slowburn between Jinx and Powder. In a things-get-worse-before-they-get-better way. So welcome to this AU I made for them!
I got inspired by one of my fav fics where two siblings' bodies get molecularly mashed into a single one thanks to a quirk--but retains the consciousness of both siblings. Much like how our Ekko hopped into Powder's Ekko through the arcane anomaly!! Except the other Ekko didn't retain any sort of control or consciousness.
(https://archiveofourown.org/works/45335362 if u wanna check it out. Its MHA--Touya and Fuyumi centric, wonderfully written)
Powder would probably try to account for that--but what if she wasn't completely succesful?
So Jinx and Powder are stuck in the same body sharing control instead of complete separation. They can't hear each others thoughts, so they have to talk with the same mouth (taking turns) if they want to communicate.
This has so much potential for various scenes!! But here's my idea for how it goes:
---
Powder finds that she has to convince Jinx she's real and not just another facet of Jinx's mental instability. As Jinx is currently wandering Demacia via airship, Powder is trying to convince Jinx to visit Vi and Ekko.
With enough willpower, Powder finds she can move Jinx's body---up until Jinx starts fighting for control of those parts again (like if Powder is doing something Jinx really doesn't want to aka going back to Zaun and Piltover)
Gaining control is kind of a coin toss over who has the most willpower and focus on moving the way they want when theyre fighting for control.
They find out that when one of them sleeps, the other has unimpeded control.
So every step farther away from Zaun Jinx takes, Powder retraces them when she has control. Keeps hoping eventually Jinx will get tired of running and let her go back.
Needless to say, they don't get along very well at the beginning due to clashing goals.
Resentment wells up in Powder, stuck in Jinx's body. It keeps growing until she becomes bitter. Sad. Her comments about Jinx's actions during the day to day adventures go from curious, exasperated, etc--to attempts at cutting insults and dry, sarcastic mockery. Tired. She's exhausted with Jinx's shit.
She's so close to seeing Vi, yet so far.
---
On the other side of the coin; Jinx feels like she's just gone some new kind of insane. But unlike Powder, she's grateful to have company (that can't die) again. At the start she just bickers with Powder for the fun of it, along with the rest of their conversations.
That changes when Powder uses Jinx's confessions/conversations to herself or her voices while thinking Powder was asleep. (Haven't decided what she'll use against Jinx, but I know Powder doesn't actually know/mean the full impact of what she said--she doesnt have the full picture of Jinx, yet. She's angry and fed up with Jinx and lashes out after week or months of trying to keep it in).
Jinx goes quiet. She doesn't talk to Powder for days after that.
---
Thats when their relationship starts to change.
With a few days of silence from Jinx, Powder uses that time to travel to Zaun/Piltover. But she stops outside the city, because the fact that Jinx retreated so far that she hasn't even tried to take back control the whole time worries Powder.
She apologizes for what she said, and talks about the feelings that had been festering since she arrived in Jinx's body. About Vi (and Ekko).
Still no reply.
So Powder gives herself a day to explore Zaun and Piltover without looking for Ekko or Vi. Tries to get Jinx to talk while exploring the cities, but it just ends up with her continuously having one sided conversations. Powder finds she doesn't mind, though. Somehow she knows Jinx is listening.
Powder shares all the differences she sees in Jinx's reality vs her world. Tells Jinx stories about her family. Ekko. Benzo. Heimerdinger. Mylo. Claggor. Vander. Silco.
Vi.
While she told Jinx that her Vi is dead, she never shared the intimate details of the experience.
This time, she tells Jinx how it happened. How it felt. What it's been like for her all these years mourning and missing Vi.
How Jinx's Ekko showed Powder what she looked like in this world when he visited.
How much she just wants to see her sister. To hug her one more time.
Up on a rooftop alone and looking down at the two cities, Powder lets herself cry out everything that's been rotting in her the past few months living in Jinx's body.
When she's done, it's Jinx that carefully wipes Powder's tears away. That whispers hoarsely, "I'll take you to her."
---
next up in this AU is a Vi, Jinx, and Powder reunion (+ Cait and Ekko)
---
Bonus: I like to think that Jinx would ask for more stories of Silco and Vander.
#what do i call this au#powjinx au??#the powderblue au??#i know someone suggested that as a ship name but it'd be a cute au name too#also anyways trust the process it'd be a slowburn#powder blues au#haha get jt#like. blue as in sad. but also the colour powder blue. but also Powder. blue. isnalshdkdnkd im sry pls forgive me#explaining it just makes it worse i know#if anyone wants to join in on this feel free to!#arcane#arcane s2 spoilers#arcane spoilers#arcane season 2#arcane s2#jinx#arcane season 2 spoilers#jinx arcane#vi arcane#powder#powder arcane#powjinx#powderblue#powder x jinx#ekko#ekko arcane#caitlyn kiramman#au powder#vi#league of legends
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Do you know roughly how much of chapter 15 are gonna be like content warnings or about peters child abuse? I'm trying to avoid as much of the triggering content as I can but I also want to read as much of the chapter as I safely can
If not do you know roughly where in the chapter that content is gonna be?
i will put be putting trigger warnings before the chapter with more detail (because i haven't written a particular scene yet so i don't know the specifics of what i'll need to mention), but i can give a general idea
(this will be below the cut. please take care of yourself. i will be talking about child abuse in many forms. there's four paragraphs, giving a general statement about the content, but will not be going into detail)
it's going to get very heavy. peter alludes to a lot of things he's been through with foster parents. in the first scene, peter has a physical reaction and starts apologizing, dick and wally both reassure him and have a talk about it, so peter will feel safe. peter does not notice that he even has this reaction. but it opens the door to dick having to ask questions so that he DOESN'T accidentally trigger peter, and that's most of the chapter. scene 1, and scene 3/4 (while there's not a break, this scene will feel like 2 different scenes, and the second part is where this is brought up) will be talking about the child abuse with dick, because dick asks about it
peter will not be having flashbacks or going into extreme detail, but he will be talking about it and some of the specifics with dick. he'll talk about the different foster parents he had, he'll talk about just how many people in his life died, he'll talk about the impact that it had on him, etc. he'll also be talking about various forms of child abuse, both physical and mental, from multiple foster parents. but he won't be talking about what westcott did beyond the day that peter ran away. peter is not ready to talk about the SA, so he won't be doing so. there will be a fic in the LoF series that delves into that (but again I'll say that I will not be including flashbacks nor describing in detail what happened to him. it will be talked about, peter will be having reactions and working through it, but i do not want to write the actual scene of it happening. and in that fic, which is a while from now, dick will also be talking about his own SA).
And I really, really have to mention that Peter's narration on this topic is unreliable and biased. the way that he views his trauma is not the way that he should, he still has a lot to go with healing from his past. His narration could be triggering because of how he views himself. he thinks that how he went about this was stupid, but no one around peter will think the same. dick will talk to him about this and peter's viewpoint will start to shift. but in the beginning, it's very sad to see
I hope to do this topic justice and in a way that doesn't hurt any of my readers. I have people that will look over this chapter to make sure that I do, but that responsibility falls on me. I value you all and I care about your well being. I get a lot of asks talking about how they can relate to Peter in LoF, and please know that even if I don't respond to these asks (potentially triggering topics) I see you and I hear you. I'm so sorry that you were left behind and hurt. You didn't deserve what happened to you, no one does. You are important and I'm glad you're with us today. Please take care of yourself. If you find that reading chapter 15 will be too much, I understand completely. I will be putting a summary of the chapter on my page to give an overview of what happened but without the details. It will be a clinical transcript of sorts.
#erinwantstowrite#ao3#ao3 fanfic#leap of faith ao3#leap of faith catch me if you can#peter parker#dick grayson#trigger warnings#tw child abuse#tw sa mention
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Hyunjin x M! Reader - Dancer AU | SMAU | Chapter 10
Ch. 10 - Cutie | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter |
| Story Masterlist |
Written: Yes
Smau: Yes
Word Count: 0.8k
A/N: sry i fell off the face of the earth 😭 I got a writers block then got super busy and stressed with classes. Updates probably won’t be daily, I’ll update whenever the chapters are done <3 sorry to make you wait so long, and tysm for ur support !
P.S. let me know your thoughts on the story so far! i’m a bit insecure on some chapters and want ur guys honest opinion!
Warnings: Uhm swearing? Typos, not proofread. lemme know if i missed anything




The night went on with all 9 of you guys joking around and having fun. For once, you felt as if you fit in, like you belonged somewhere. The night was nearing an end, most stores were closed as it was rather pretty late.
Everyone had decided to window shop. At one point, without even realizing it, you had wandered off. Although it was late, there were still a few other people out and about.
You weren't paying attention, and the next thing you knew you had bumped into someone. You turned towards him as you apologized profusely. He was taller, had darker hair, and was dressed in a hoodie with a jean jacket over it. "I'm so sorry, I should've looked where I was going." You internally panicked as you bent down to pick up his bag, which you had previously accidentally knocked out of his hand. "It's alright sweetheart, don't worry."
You froze. "Sweetheart?" Your mind wandered around that thought as you unknowingly. Your eyes were lost on his gorgeous face as you unknowingly kept a tight grip on the bag. The guy's sentence snapped you out of your trance.
"You okay?" Immediately, you let go of it. "Oh, sorry." A nervous smile fell on your face as you quickly handed it to him and brought a hand to your now warm forehead. The guy chuckled at you as he complimented, "You're cute."
His compliments keep catching you off guard, before you even had a minute to register anything he said, he spoke up again. "You're not busy are you?" You shook your head at his question, wondering how you even got to this point.
For a moment, you completely forgot about everyone else.
This guy was intoxicating. "I've seen you've been wandering around with some other guys, mind if I tag along?" It was at this moment your body decided before your heart did. "Sure, that's fine." Throwing him a smile as he held out his hand for you to shake as he introduced himself. "I'm Mingyu."
"Mingyu.. that sounded familiar." You had sworn you'd heard that name somewhere. Pondering as you connected his hand with yours, shaking slowly. "Y/N." Unable to form a full sentence as you left him with just your name. "Y/N there you are." A voice behind you caught you off guard as you saw that Bang Chan was running in your direction. He seemed a bit worried. "You can't run off like that this late." Chan took a peek at who you were talking to. "Oh hey! Haven't seen you in a while. What are you doing in Japan?" The leader abandoned your guy's conversation and went over to talk to Mingyu. "Ah just touring, we have some free time so." The way he spoke captured you, and you felt like you couldn't take your eyes off of him. "You don't mind if I tag along with you guys do you?" By this time, the other members had caught up with you three and now listened in on their conversation.
"Ah, I think we're about to head back, it's decently late.
Sorry about that."
"Ah no worries, as long as I can get this one's number." His hand laid a gentle tap on your arm. In the few minutes you had been around him, you could tell Mingyu was a very flirty person. This left you sort of embarrassed, but it also left butterflies swirling around your stomach. God, you know that these boys would tease you about this later.
And damn were you right.
After you all filed onto the bus once again, they started messing with you. "Awh how cute, someone has themself a boyfriend." Hyunjin who was next to you nudged our shoulder. "Stop." You pushed him off of you. "I don't have anything."
"Mhmmm sure. That's why your eyes were glued to his face during his whole conversation with Chan."
"I was just trying to figure out who he was. That's all." You rolled your eyes and crossed your arms in your seat. “Pfft yeah right, everyone knows who Mingyu is. Not a very good excuse.” Lee Know stated again. “Only his name sounds familiar, i can’t think of anything else.” You let out a sigh as you rolled your eyes. Letting your body flop back in the seat as you crossed your arms. “Damn, so you really don’t know?” Felix’s voice sounded and your head shot in his direction, a questioning look on your face as you shook your head. “So you don’t listen to Seventeen?”
Your eyes widened as the group’s name was said. “You’re kidding, Seventeen?!” You sat back up as you heard Hyunjin laugh from next to you. “So I just embarrassed myself in front of the Mingyu from Seventeen?!” You dug your face in your hands, slouching back down. “I don’t think you embarrassed yourself, all you did was make googoo eyes at him for ten minutes.” Hyunjin teased as he neared your face. Feeling annoyed already, you pushed him away. “You’re so irritating!” He only laughed at your reaction as you rolled your eyes. The rest of the bus ride was pretty much just the others teasing you. Although you didn’t particularly enjoy it, you definitely enjoyed the time you spent with them. Finally, you had found your place.
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#skz smau#stray kids#skz imagines#skz x reader#stray kids smau#bang chan#changbin#hyunjin#skz#lee know#hyunjin x male reader#hyunjin x reader#han jisung#lee felix#seungmin#jeongin
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(part 2) A Deep Dive into Milkvan and Byler's Development: If Milkvan's Destined Endgame, Why's it Written Like This???
The decision to confirm Will to be in love with MIKE is wild, and I'll tell you why.
When you add a third party to a t.v show relationship, if the first relationship isn't perfect, people gunna start rooting for the third party. Take Stancy for instance.
Throughout s2, we got the vibes that Jonathan held feelings for Nancy. This was clear. But Nancy was still with Steve. This means, in order for us not to sympathize more for Jonathan, Nancy and Steve gotta be ✧ tight ✧. I mean, their issues must be kept at a low, and at the end of the day it's gotta be clearer to us that Nancy does in fact love Steve. Welp, that wasn’t the case. Stancy's relationship ✧ struggled ✧, justifying intimate moments between Nancy and Jonathan - making us feel as if he'd be better for her after all. A smart writing choice, as Duffers intended Jancy as season 2's endgame pairing.
Now, I'd like to point out the foreshadowing of this development.
Come the wrapping up of s1, and it seemed Nancy had retreated back to Steve.

They'd clearly reconciled and - to an outsider - all would appear to be going smoothly. But us as the audience know that not to be the case.
One reason? Well, she'd just shared a suggesting moment with Jonathan.
So our minds weren't on Steve and this show of his with Nancy. Rather, we read into Nancy's slight discomfort, and wondered if perhaps she'd prefer being with Jonathan instead.
This was of course intentional. I'd like to briefly bring to attention the similarities in these moments to ones at the end of s3 - between Mike and Will, and then Mike and El.

Here a conclusion to milkvan's seasonal drama is made, them seemingly staying together, parting on good terms. Hm. And milkvan's moment is.. kinda like stancy's. They got back together because, well, El said she loves Mike. And Steve loves Nancy. And Mike loves El right? The way Nancy loved Steve- But just, coincidentally, we have byler's reconciliation too.
This came before the guy's makeup with El, because, why? This was quite the interesting decision mates. It means that whilst he spends that moment with his girlfriend, our minds are fresh off of Will. People might read into the way he's acting in contrast, just maybe, the way they did during stancy. And people did. That's a bit of a fumble on the writers' part, if you ask me. I know you're trying to let us know that Mike's now on good terms with both members, and his and El's goodbye needs to be the dramatic finishing of the season, but, man, did byler even have to make up at all here you guys? I mean this miscommunication of theirs lasts through to s4 (just like janc-). Why not sort their good terms out later or earlier on, so that we have more mindspace here to focus solely on milkvan, our main main? Or at least, why not just have Mike apologize to Will and be done with it? He could even apologize alongside Lucas, making the moment less personal. And Will could simply forgive him, give a dudely pat it out, and that's it. We wash our hands.
But nah. There's this electricity in the air. The swelling music, the prolonged looks, this doesn't.. seem like a simple make up. It's startlingly short, making us feel as if there have been things left unsaid. And that line,
".. Not possible."
It's so... implying. What do you mean? Why are you looking at eachother like that? What am I meant to get from this scene?
And it isn't a closing reconciliation either, they haven't properly ended their season's drama. I mean no one even apologized for the argument, we're just sort of left with this. Left with the hint of a story that might be further explored - their moment coming off more as anticipation for what's to come than a conclusion. Maybe just a bit like Jonathan and Nancy s1.
But so what? That does not have to mean anything romantic between them is to be told. After all, El just expressed to Mike that she loves him. This means that these sweethearts are practically fortold as endgame, right?
Alright I'll stop stalling.
Season 4.
So. Will is in love with Mike now. Huh. Well, I don't recommend this. As I said, you risk people rooting for Will beyond their hopes for Mike and El as a couple. If this is a plotline you desire, it has to be navigated with precision. So this means that milkvan must be on their A game. Struggle between them has got to be handled delicately. As we see in stancy, and as we saw in s3, just making up at the end of it all isn't good enough. You can risk this mistake once, but we must like these guys together throughout season 4, more than we sorrow for Will. Infact, Will's feelings must not be made too big of a deal. Mike and El are going to stay together, so we should feel a bit sorry for him, but not gather any hope that things will actually work out to his favour.
Like Dustin in s2. He sprouted small feelings for Max, and so did Lucas. Lumax were the endgame, so Dustin's feelings were craftly navigated and not made more important than Max and Lucas' bond. We don't really feel that Dustin is in love with Max, moreso that he likes her and has some moments of jealousy aimed at Lucas. Noone really wanted him with her more than they rooted for Lumax, though we did sympathize for him and feel bad for him regardless.
So yeah, this can easily be written out for Will too. If his story's purpose is meant for the exploration of a gay kid navigating a still homoph#bic time, then there's a lot that can be done without even having to spare much screen time between him and Mike. Focus on his fear of judgement from Jonathan moreso maybe, or have Argyle say something - it can be whatever, mention something homoph#bic, mention something not homoph#bic and give Will hope, whatever - which sets off a thought or idea for Will that prepares his arc for the season.
Back to Mike and El - so we want a 'scared to say "I love you"' subplot. That's good, that good. Fleshes out Mike, plays into El's fears. Shouldn't be too hard.
There's already a mild problem though. This plot is playing out twice at once. We have our boy Will hosting this same fear of rejection by Mike - at least that's how things have been shot. His dread is portrayed through his restraint and timidity in revealing his painting to Mike. Will's painting is basically his version of a confession - the guy too selfless, shy and afraid to express his love outright.
So playing out this storyline at the double is.. a choice. I mean, Mike telling El he loves her is a big deal for the milkvans, shouldn't this romance dominate as much screen time as possible in order to be fully pumped up without any sidetracks to other insignificant in comparison feelings? S3 was already quite clumsy, why not have Mike and El's activities soak in all viewers' engrossment without any departures? Maybe spend a bit of time demonstrating how likeable and wholesome they actually are together. Now that we have Will's affection ontop it all, what's important is that Mike and El's camera time spent matters. They can be angsty, they can withhold some misunderstandings, but they still have to be a good. couple.
Oh yeah, also, Mike should blatantly display feelings for El and El only - duh.
.
..
huh ?
huh ? ? ?
#part 3 is on its way 💪#anti milkvan#anti mileven#byler#byeler#stranger things#stranger things byler#stranger things 4#mike wheeler#will byers#byler is endgame#byler endgame#byler is real#byler is canon#byler analysis#byler proof#byler rights#byler tumblr#byler nation
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i really love you
☆ pairing: kim gyuvin x reader
☆ genre: angst mostly! rlly not as romantic as i hoped
☆ warnings: yunjin le sserafim cameo
☆ wc: 3.3k
☆ a/n: i feel like i owe 1000 apologies and then some. this is the first thing that i've written in awhile. i know i've been MIA but life has really been chaotic. still i wrote this a few weeks ago and decided just to post since i haven't. i miss this blog and the lovely messages i'd receive. i hope you all enjoy <3.



You were often told that people envied your friendship with Gyuvin. You hadn’t known each other your whole lives, but it definitely felt like it. In fact, you considered yourself lucky to have a connection that goes so far beyond the surface level.
The depth of your bond presented itself in a way you considered unique. It was incredible to have someone who knew everything about you – who wanted to know everything about you. He was your shoulder to cry on and the most reliable person that you knew. You often found yourself with the fleeting thought of What if we were more than just best friends? But you brushed it off before you even gave yourself the chance to entertain it.
Still, it was no question to the people around you that you and Gyuvin were something more than best friends – even without that “Boyfriend-Girlfriend” label.
Which is how you found yourself in this position: You and Yunjin found yourselves in the same boat of “I-haven’t-know-you-my-whole-life-but-I-definetly-feel-like-I-have,” meaning you frequently spent your time with one another, and on a weekly basis you slept over at her apartment and vice versa.
You’d watch movies and do skin care and braid hair, but above all you exchanged secrets. Over months and months of sleepovers you found out about Yunjin’s secret spelling mishap of 8th grade, and she found out about your high school boyfriend who liked to call you “Sugar Plum” unironically. No matter how serious or ridiculous the secret, they came out naturally in the dead of night during almost every sleepover the two of you would have.
“I think, maybe, deep down inside, I am possibly harboring some feelings for Gyuvin.” The confession came out with the same pit in your stomach you get when you’re throwing up.
You sat across from Yunjin on her apartment bedroom floor with green face masks adorning both of your faces. You couldn’t believe the words that had just left your mouth, your heart raced while you waited for Yunjin to give you some sort of response. When your eyes darted up at her, she looked at you wide-eyed and jaw-dropped.
The room seemed to hold its breath, almost as if it were waiting with you for Yunjin to say something. You were having one of those heart-to-hearts that you only have in the dead of night, admitting all kinds of secrets that you had to look deep inside to find. Still, upon hearing yours, she blinked a few times as if she was trying to process what she’d just heard.
“Wow,” she said softly, breaking the silence, “I mean, I already knew that! I just wasn’t expecting you to say it!”
You managed a weak smile in return, the corners of your lips shaking with nerves, “Yeah. Me neither.”
“Well? You haven’t said anything to him about it?”
“What? No! Oh god, no. That hurts my head just thinking about it, no. I can’t.”
“You can’t?”
“I can’t.”
She didn’t understand you, but she understood the weight of your words and decided not to bother you about it anymore. Yunjin reached over and gently put her hand over yours, the warmth of her touch grounded you in that moment. “Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. You know I’m here if you need anything, right?”
The confession occupied the air between the two of you like a fragile secret. Now, the green face masks seemed oddly out of place. As if the intimate exchange had transcended the triviality of their original purpose.
Yunjin’s initial shock gave way to a soft smile, her eyes holding a mixture of empathy and understanding. The kind of understanding that could only be offered by close friends – knowing they may not comprehend the depth of your emotions, they will be there for you nonetheless.
You sighed heavily and turned your gaze to the ceiling, letting all those emotions you shoved down take their place in your heart. “I don’t even know what I’m feeling half the time,” you admitted, voice carrying a mix of frustration and self deprecation.
Yunjin chuckled, her eyes crinkled in the corners and the dry mask of her face cracked in sync. “Babe, feelings are messy! I don’t think mine ever follow a logical path.”
“God, tell me about it. It’s just… Gyuvin, you know? We’re just too good as friends. What if I ruin it?”
Your hand received a reassuring squeeze from Yunjin before she withdrew her touch, a pensive expression on her face. She leaned back on her arms, considering your words carefully.
“I mean – I personally don’t get where you’re coming from,” she began, voice gentle, “But think about it this way Y/n: if your friendship is as good as you believe it is, then it’s strong enough to handle some turbulence. Emotions aren’t always predictable, and that’s okay! What if some weird unspoken tension affects your friendship more than your harboring some secret feelings?”
You sighed again, staring at the tiles at the ceiling as if they’d give you the answer after a while. “I know. You’re right. It’s just scary…I don’t even care if he feels the same way, what if things get weird between us?”
Yunjin leaned forward, resting her chin in her hands. “Babe, look, I can’t predict the future. I do know that honesty is the best policy, though. He deserves to know the truth, but you deserve to express your feelings even more! Whether he reciprocates or not, it’s not in your control. What you can control is how you handle this moving forward.”
“You’re right,” you admitted, letting your head down to face her. “I can’t even tell you how long I’ve been avoiding this for. It isn’t fair to either of us.”
Yunjin smiled widely at you, mask cracking more and more. “Exactly! And you know what they say about regrets, right?”
“What do they say?”
“Well.. I don’t really know. But they have to say something about it! Look, if he truly values your friendship then he’ll appreciate your honesty.”
You smiled back at Yunjin, your own mask cracking from the movement in your face. Yunjin stood up and held her hand out for you to grab.
You reached out and took her hand, letting her help you up from the ground. The air in the room felt a little lighter now, as if the weight of your confession had been shared and the burden lessened.
“Come on,” Yunjin said, “Let’s wash these off and then go to bed. We can talk about this in the morning or something. And if things don’t work, I will happily accept a confession from you on his behalf!”
Despite the impact that your much needed heart-to-heart with Yunjin had on you, you still found yourself unable to take any immediate action (or any action at all, for that matter.) In fact, it was more like the opposite. Your behavior took an unexpected turn – one that puzzled those around you. To you, though, it all made perfect sense. You had finally sat down and confronted those feelings that you had long harbored, and you need some time and space to really process it. Particularly, time and space away from Gyuvin.
You shifted to practically being inseparable from one another to being distant and withdrawn. Those who’d grown accustomed to seeing you two together nearly every day were now met with your fleeting glances and casual avoidance. It was you who’d placed the invisible barrier between you and Gyuvin, leaving him equally confused by your sudden change in behavior.
Though, he didn’t know what exactly caused this sudden shift with you, he wasn’t blind to the cues you were throwing his way. He noticed immediately your short responses (if he had received one at all), and your excuses to avoid making any plans. He saw you take the long way from one place to another and he could only assume it was so you could avoid crossing paths with him. And while the biggest part of him wanted to know why, his brain told him to just let you deal with whatever it was you were dealing with.
This went on for three weeks before someone decided to mention it.
“What’s going on with Y/n?”
“What’s going on with Y/n?” Gyuvin scoffed at Matthew’s question and deadpanned, “If I knew that, she’d probably be here right now.”
Matthew raised an eyebrow, “Man, don’t get mad at me. I’m just so used to seeing you guys together all the time. It’s weird to everyone to see you guys apart like this.” Matthew leaned against the table at the campus café that they both sat.
Gyuvin let out a sigh and ran his hand through his hair, “You’re telling me? I’ve tried talking to her but she’s just… distant? I dunno. I can’t put a finger on why.”
“Did you guys have a fight?”
He shook his head, face full of frustration. “Is it bad if I say I wish we did? At least then I’d know what I did. She’s just been acting different. We used to spend hours talking about the dumbest shit and now it’s like pulling teeth to even get a few words out of her.”
Matthew took a sip from his coffee, gaze fixed on Gyuvin, “Maybe she’s going through something! Sometimes people start acting like that when they’re going through something personally. It could be something heavy, and she’s just not ready to talk about it yet.”
Gyuvin frowned at that idea, his mind was racing considering Matthew’s words. What could be so bad that you wouldn’t tell him? “You think so?”
Matthew nodded.
“I mean.. I don’t know, man. We’re always there for each other. If that’s the case then I wish she’d just let me in.”
Matthew gave a wide, reassuring smile before replying, “Maybe she will, eventually. Just give her some time. Try not to let her push you away completely, keep reaching out. Even if it’s just a, ‘Hey. How’s your day?’ text or something.”
Gyuvin nodded, trying his best not to acknowledge the little pit in his stomach that was gnawing at him, “I’ll do that. But I get to blame you if your advice sucks.”
With the days passing, Gyuvin took Matthew’s advice to heart. He started sending you the occasional message asking about your day or giving you an anecdote out of his. He wasn’t expecting lengthy responses, but he wanted you to know that he was still there regardless of whatever it was you were dealing with.
You, on the other hand, were dealing with all kinds of complex sentiments about your situation. To no one’s surprise, honesty was a much easier concept to speak about than it was in practice. That confession to Yunjin that night had opened a floodgate of uncertainty and fear for you. Part of you had expected your feelings to be reciprocated or to at least be brushed aside as a passing thought, but the reality was much more complicated. You’d unintentionally thrown a wrench in your friendship with Gyuvin, and it was past the point of you knowing how you could fix it.
You spent a lot of time thinking about it, your situation. You stared at your messages with Gyuvin and wondered if they’d be any different if you were honest. When you’d see him on campus laughing with his friends, your heart would ring itself out. Your close friends could notice the toll that it was taking on you, especially Yunjin. She was the only one who knew anything about what you were feeling, so she was the only one who could try to help.
She noticed how your smile didn’t quite reach your eyes anymore, or the heavy sighs that seemed to escape you involuntarily, or the way that you’d space out and think to yourself more often.
One night, you were both sprawled across her living room couch with a movie playing in the background. The atmosphere was interrupted by the loud chime of your phone. It sat on the coffee table in the center and the screen was lit up with a text.
“Who’s that?”
You both knew who it was. “Oh, probably my mom or something. I’ll just reply later.” You could lie all you wanted, but you couldn’t pretend that your situation wasn’t getting to you. The message was short and sweet, but it made your stomach erupt with butterflies while simultaneously giving you the urge to throw up. Hi, I’m thinking of you. Just wanted to check in and ask you about your day.
“Y/n.” Yunjin spoke softly, but she sounded stern. She wanted you to take her seriously and to let your walls down again.
“Yunjin.” You responded, putting your phone back down and looking her in the eye.
“I can see how much this is bothering you. It’s eating you up inside, isn’t it?” She sat up and grabbed the remote from the coffee table, pausing the movie before facing you again. Neither of you need to clarify what “this,” was because the heavy toll it had taken on your heart was evident to anyone who knew about your feelings.
You couldn’t stop the tears before they began to fall. You could only nod in response, unable to put your feelings into words.
“Babe, I think it’s time to face this head-on,” Yunjin suggested, maintaining a firm but gentle tone. “You can’t avoid him forever. It’s hurting the both of you.”
“But what if it makes things worse?” You whispered, voice trembling.
“I really, really, really don’t think you’d do that,” Yunjin sighed and faced you directly. “He asked me about you the other day.”
That only made you cry harder, feeling like your heart would just explode in your chest. “What’d he say?” You managed to ask through sobs.
“You know, he just wanted to see how you were. If everything was okay with you.”
“And what’d you tell him?”
“I told him that I couldn’t really say. That you’ll make the time soon to go talk to him.”
“Yunjin…” you trailed off and broke your eye contact with her, feeling embarrassed. “I don’t know if I can do that.”
“I’m not saying it’s gonna be easy,” she began, “But, this distance? This awkwardness? It’s not doing you any favors. At least if you talk to him you’ll know where you stand.”
All you could do was nod before Yunjin brought you into a deep embrace, comforting you while you cried on her shoulder.
Over the next few days, you continued to wrestle with the decision of finally facing Gyuvin. The inner turmoil was beginning to reach its peak, you knew that you couldn’t keep pretending like he didn’t exist. Yunjin’s words echoed in your mind as a constant reminder to confront your feelings and put an end to the growing distance between you and Gyuvin.
One evening, as the sun began to set and cast a variety of golden hues over the city, you found yourself standing in front of Gyuvin’s favorite coffee shop. It was also your favorite, but you’d been avoiding it on the off chance that you’d see him there. Your heart raced as you took a deep breath, trying to summon the courage to go inside. The bell above the door tinkled as you entered, scanning the cozy interior until your gaze met Gyuvin.
He was sitting by the window, engrossed in whatever assignment he was working on, his brows furrowed in concentration. The sight of him sent a rush of emotions through you – familiarity, comfort, and a twinge of nervousness. You scolded yourself internally for being scared to talk to your best friend.
You approached his table, cringing at how loud your footsteps seemed to sound in the otherwise quiet café. He looked up, surprise registering on his face before morphing into a warm smile.
“Hi,” he greeted, closing the books that littered the table and setting them aside, “I wasn’t expecting to see you.”
“Hi,” you echoed, your voice a little shaky, “Is it okay if I sit with you?”
Gyuvin’s expression to a more confused one, but his smile never faltered. “Of course you can sit with me,” he gestured to the empty seat across from him, “I would actually really like it if you did.”
You settled into the seat, avoiding eye contact with him. The silence between the two of you hung for a moment before Gyuvin decided to speak up, “Is everything okay with you? I feel like I never hear from you lately.”
You took a deep breath, your heart still racing. “That’s actually why I came here. I was hoping you’d be here so that we could talk.”
His brows furrowed slightly and his expression dropped, concern evident in his eyes, “You can tell me anything. Please, talk to me.”
“I really love you Gyuvin.”
Gyuvin smiled earnestly at you, “I love you too. You know that you can tell me anything, right?”
You sighed and looked him in the eye before repeating yourself, “No, I mean, I love you.”
Gyuvin's eyes widened, and he seemed momentarily taken aback by your confession. He opened his mouth to say something but hesitated, as if choosing his words carefully.
You cut him off before he could speak, “I just – I sort of realized it one night and I couldn’t figure out how to face you? I didn’t know how, so I just didn’t. And I know it was wrong and I know I should’ve just been honest with you and I just….” you trailed off and looked for some sign of understanding in his eyes.
There was a passing moment of silence where your eye contact was never broken, but you could feel your heart drumming against your chest while the lights in the café began turning on to account for the lack of the sun.
“I love you too.”
Your eyes widened and you waited to respond out of fear that the butterflies in your stomach would fly out if you opened your mouth. “You love me?”
“I really love you,” he mimicked your earlier statement.
You laughed a bit and let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding, reaching a hand out to intertwine with Gyuvin’s. “I was so scared. That by telling you I’d ruin our friendship. That scared me more than anything.”
"Y/n, you have to understand that our friendship is incredibly precious to me, like a guiding light in my life. But you… you're more than that. And now, it's as if our bond is being woven even tighter, stronger, because we're entrusting each other with the most vulnerable parts of ourselves." Gyuvin's voice softened, his eyes locked onto yours with an intensity that sent shivers down your spine. "It's a kind of feeling that I never want to lose."
You felt a sense of relief wash over you at his words, tears welling up in your eyes and rolling down your cheeks, “I should’ve talked to you sooner. I’m sorry, I really am.”
“Hey, it’s okay,” he said softly, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his free hand. “You’re here now. We’re here now and that’s what matters.”
You chuckled through your tears, feeling a weight lift off your shoulders. “Yunjin was right, you know. She told me I needed to face this head-on.”
“I never thought I’d say this about her, but you have a pretty smart friend,” Gyuvin teased, his smile widening.
You both laughed, the tension in the air dissipating. It felt like a heavy fog had been lifted for the both of you, leaving a clarity that neither of you had seen before. The café seemed to fade into the background as you focused on each other.
“So…” you began, “What do we do now?”
Gyuvin leaned in a little closer, his eyes locked onto yours. “I think you owe me, at the very least, a date for what I had to put up with this past month.”
You nodded, stifling your giggles from him before responding, “I think I can make that happen.”
#zerobaseone x reader#zb1 x reader#zb1 imagines#zerobaseone#zerobaseone headcanons#zerobaseone scenarios#zerobaseone oneshot#zerobaseone angst#zb1 angst#zb1 fics#zerobaseone fics#kim gyuvin#gyuvin x reader#zb1 gyuvin#gyuvin imagines
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It's been a few hours and I'm still feeling mildly crazy
I kind of want to reread everything right now but my sleep schedule wouldn't like that so...
Anyways, I cannot get "Seven Years Running" and the before- and aftermath out of my head
Practical questions before rants though: how would Gem be affected if she were to run out of magic strength? I assume it wouldn't be as bad as Scar has it seeing as he was basically incapable of supporting his own weight and staying concious?
Also, roughly how long will it take to get to the spirit well? (I think that's what it's called... the thing in Elven Territory where elves can recharge) Because right now I'd say Scar needs to get there asap but also it's still a ways away from Silversvale if my mental map is right, and they haven't even reached that yet
But yeah to the rant I'm kind of insane about the entire thing, but that part (Seven Years Running) specifically just gets to me
Especially the fact that everything went wrong just like that. Like, we killed the Duke, were comforting the birb, everything was fine and dandy, and then it was like helplessly watching a series of ever-larger dominoes knock the next over until it culminated in that "Not you" and my heart broke
It felt a bit better after realising that, for Grian, this was amazing actually! Setting a boundary firmly, especially after the *gestures vaguely* everything, and not backsliding is such a good sight
I mean the "killing the Duke" part was amazing. "On the other side of the storm" is so well written, and so satisfying and I think there's two (metal) images that just- they just do it for me, y'know? I think they'll stick with me a while. First one is of Mumbo, bathed in shadows, casually pursuing Freemere without batting an eye (the shadows 'weeping' across the outer wall- like, how?? What?? That's so. Good.)
The second is Scar-as seen from outside the Swaggon (Swagon?)- holding Grian so gently, seeing Mumbo hesitate and glance up at him because he doesn't want to let his instincts take over, and then just... raising a hand to summon his magic and bury the duke alive
Like- it's so vivid and it's beautiful
Also probably one of the reasons I love Scar so much (what is it with me and guilty characters?? TTSBC Scott's my favourite and TT it's Scar and Martyn) (tbf they only overtake the others by a tiny amount) (but it's an interesting pattern)
Speaking of guilt... man, I'm so glad I didn't have to wait for that whole mess to get at least somewhat sorted (they're getting there, I believe) because I would've cried (even more)
It's so miserable because the more povs came up, the sadder it got... Mumbo was so confused and then upset, Gem was just confused and concerned in general, Pearl was going through a hell of a lot of emotions, Grian... Grian was going through that but in two different directions, and Scar was so out of it that he genuinely didn't even notice and then the ball dropped and- yeah. It was rough
I mean the fact that you managed to juggle around so many issues and viewpoints and still have it make sense is a crazy feat!! Super impressive
There's the rant- second one of the day, sorry about that lmao
At least this one's coherent
I LOOOOOOVE THIS KIND OF STUFF!
GIMME GIMME GIMME!
I love seeing people give me their play-by-plays of reading through my works, especially one of my favorites like Seven Years Running is! Thank you so much for this! I'm so glad you enjoyed it so much!!! Please don't apologize, I LOVE this sort of thing! Send more if ever you feel like it, they're soooo much fun!
(Edit: I just realized I didn't answer the questions I just got excited about the fun rants 😭 You're correct! Gem wouldn't be affected as badly as Scar if she ran out of magical strength, she would operate like a human in that case. She's also worked on her swordsmanship and strength to the point that she can still be very deadly even without the use of her magic! How long would it take to get to the Elven Spirit Well? That's spoilers my friend...but I will say it's not geographically super far, it's right inside the Elven Territory past the mountains!)
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i may have sent an ask like this before? i dont remember if i did and i apologize if i did, but i absolutely adore your concept drawings for that gonta survival horror game. i would absolutely love to hear more about it ^^ i hope you’re doing well also!
Ah, no, I haven't gotten anything like that before, unless yours was that invisible ask, that lingers in my inbox as an unremovable number. But either way, please don't apologize - it's really sweet that someone could be interested in reading about stuff like that.
Regarding the game concept: it started as a daydream to process my post-V3 blues. Bunch of ideas that weren't exactly polished with a serious gamedev effort in mind, though maybe I'll introduce it proper via concept sketches, in the undetermined future.
I can summarize it via text, even though I worry if it will be interesting in that form - visuals matter, after all - but I'll try.
Bullet point form, for, um, easier reading. Be warned, it's... it's about 7,2k words. (And apologies for no "read more" - somehow it was hiding post from the tags...)
[GENERAL INTRO] (for context: the ask is about one of those sketches)
The rough title is "Danganronpa Another Universe: Giga Despair Triad", or GDT for short.
First, I'd like to clarify that while I said it's a "survival horror" game, in reality it's the prologue and later random scenes that fall cleanly into the "survival" sub-category.
As a whole I imagine it to be more of an *action* horror game, mixing fight and investigation mechanics, with some light environmental puzzles here and there. We're helpless at the start, and later on the horror is mostly existential and psychological. Though, of course, there are (mono)monsters and general horror aesthetics involved, as the world is going through an apocalyptic event.
It's not all angst and suffering, either. There are silly moments, as a nod to typical DR wackiness + my own morbid sense of humour.
It's meant to be both V3 as well as UDG sequel (very original, I know xD). And it's an indulgent thing, with references to other games or manga that I love (similarly how V3 did it with it's own homages), and my top faves freely put together, specifically Gonta and Tokomaru, so I can go wild with all of the psychological and interpersonal dynamics that could be explored between those three. Really dig into Gonta's brain especially, and dissect the behavioral and emotional bulIshit that plagues him, in a way that may deconstruct and challenge his character. At least... That's my main intention.
It's a result of wondering how to - in a way that's plausible within the lore of the DR universe - bring back Gonta and certain other characters... but at a hefty price.
[HOW IT STARTS]
At the very beginning Gonta startles awake to a flash of light. With his last memory being the stabbing, flames, sounds of buzzing, and a searing agony, he's shocked and disoriented, but soon realizes he's alone in a dimly lit room, lying in a pod of sorts, and he... seems alive and completely uninjured?
Despite the confusion, he stumbles out of this "infirmary" onto a ruined corridor. Water dripping from nearby broken pipes helps to quench his thirst, and to his relief, he finds fireflies there! The place where they concentrate would be your first save point - and with the help of their bioluminescence, Gonta is now able to explore and investigate the dilapidated facility he's stuck in. Judging from a glance into a narrow crack in the ceiling, and seeing the sunlight pouring down from many floors above, it looks to be rather deep underground. And while the place seems long abandoned, Gonta certainly doesn't feel alone, and it's not just because of bugs. He finds some blood-written messages on the walls that seem to guide him and then disappear; his own(?) missing glasses are unexpectedly tossed at him from a dark corner, yet he finds nothing, when he anxiously checks in that direction; and he senses and hears something terrifying and hostile lurking in the half-crumbled dark rooms just beyond the reach of firefly lights. In fact, to his terror, when one of them flew across a large hole in the floor in order to inspect the other end of a hallway, the light disappeared abruptly as if someone - or something - had grabbed... or eaten it. But, in spite of his searching, it looks like his friends aren't here, and this confuses him even more. There's lots of documents or recordings, that partially clue him in as to what has transpired after his death, almost up till 53rd killing game's end, there's even a morgue with what seems to be his own corpse (a discovery that pretty much messes up with his sense of reality and makes him question if he's not in afterlife. It's hard to sum up everything going through his head, but Gonta's sanity certainly takes a hit from seeing this), but no living people whatsoever.
Once his first objective to search for others is fulfilled, his next one is to escape the facility, by climbing the broken elevator shaft... He ends up using his own execution chain as a makeshift rope.
Oh and... While down there, he stumbles upon a futuristic server/computer room, where he finds his own Alter Ego. After a conversation, we'd get the first narrative choice as to whether you want the Alter Ego's memory to fuse with Gonta's consciousness via Flashback Light... or not. Tbh I'd imagine the game to be mostly linear, but choices like that would mostly impact some of his dialogues, his mental state (there would be a mechanic for that, actually!), as well as count to making some alternative/bad/early endings either available or not. He'd have the same information from 3rd party sources either way, the question is whether he wants to remember the events from Ch4 VR from "his own" POV or not.
"The world is okay" image is actually the end of this whole section aka the Prologue. Gonta climbs out of the dilapidated facility, and stews in all of the information he managed to gather while being trapped down there, including one that implies the world is supposedly perfectly okay. He catches some darker, defeated part of himself faintly hoping that the world is actually destroyed, because if it isn't, then what did he end Miu's life for? At least it would make his action not as senseless... He promptly pushes that thought away, internally bashing himself for ever thinking that, finally crawls out to the surface, and then sees a clear sky, unobstructed by the dome of the End Wall, which makes him notice he's outside of the Academy - cue crushing shame and layers upon layers of disappointment and painful realizations. About the 4th trial, about himself... about that intrusive thought he just had. "The world is okay, and you're still stupid", is how the whole line actually goes. But beyond that, there's relief and hope as well. Because if he's alive, despite his brutal death, then perhaps others are as well, no matter how... unreal it sounds? He now knows that Himiko, Shuichi and Maki survived, too, and he desperately wants to see them again. After Gonta gathers himself from his breakdown and rests, he tries to figure out just where he is - he uses his entomological and star knowledge to do so - and embarks on a journey, trying to find any nearest city, to then continue searching for his other friends.
Incidentally, as Gonta starts walking... he hears some cries of frustration (or perhaps cries for help?) and upon rushing to the spot he's heard them from, finds a particularly energetic and chatty bug, who reallyreallyreallyreallyreally wants to find her friend. Human friend, actually! Gonta decides to help her as well, seeing that they might head in the same direction anyway. And wow, that person the bug is talking about must be such a kind, sweet and good-hearted individual! They *both* even used to be friendless losers who befriended bugs as kids! Gonta sure would love to meet this kindred spirit, if possible!
[SETTING, PLOT BITS & CONCEPTS, yadda yadda]
The memories of V3 cast are false, but Hope's Peak is very much real. The killing game(s) organized by Tsumugi/Team Danganronpa were the copycat crimes Tsumugi alluded to at the end of V3. Personally, I feel that this combo offers most concepts and ideas to explore, so that's what I'm going for. Once V3 survivors escape the Academy for Gifted Juveniles, they manage to find Future Foundation, and while under its protection/employment, begin investigating their real pasts and Team Danganronpa as a whole, while dealing with other missions, if ordered to do so. When GDT begins, it's about 2-3 years since the 53th killing game has concluded.
After the Prologue, Gonta eventually finds Toko and Komaru, who are out on a field mission that day (he quite heroically saves them in sheer panic picks up a random manhole cover and yeets it at the monobeast that was facing them, interrupting and ending their fight). Thanks to Kameko's tearful reunion with Toko, and Gonta introducing himself and explaining his predicament in a gentlemanly fashion frantically BOMBARDING Tokomarus with info about him, Shuichi, Himiko and Maki, and whatever Kameko has told Gonta about Toko and her own ties to the killing games, all to convince her to pleasebelievehimandhelphimfindhisfriendsaaaahhhhhh, they hesitantly allow him to join them. They're not sure if this is a good idea, and this big-ass scary looking dude is still wearing some hospital-looking gown, so who knows where he's escaped from, but... it's worth checking out with FF. And Gonta translating Kameko's words to Toko, 100000% validating her feelings about Kameko indeed being a very special "friendsect" might've helped to buy into her good graces, just a liiiiiittle bit. She denies it though when Komaru calls her out on this :).
The three (four, if you will!) musketeers head back to one of the FF outposts, but since the road back is rather long and dangerous, at one point they get separated by horde of mono-monsters, and amids that chaos, Gonta has a surprise run-in with Miu who... isn't just very unfriendly, hostile even, but doesn't even feel fully herself either, and apparently for more reasons than mere anger over Gonta choking her. There's a goddamn Monokuma with her, too?! Suffice to say... Gonta doesn't exactly escape this situation unscathed and unshaken.
Some other things happen along the way, but luckily, as the night approaches, he's able to find Toko and Komaru again, and together with them reach the Future Foundation, finally reuniting with the V3 survivor Trio. And this closes Chapter 1 - while Prologue served as tutorial for stealth and investigation and puzzle mechanics, this one would teach fight mechanics and introduce core premise and plot elements, which is pretty much investigating the secret behind Gonta's revival, Miu situation, what it might mean about other deceased killing game participants... as well as Gonta trying to find his own place and purpose in FF.
The ones that are confirmed to be revived are Gonta, Miu, and eventually also Kokichi, in that exact order. Yes, the whole Holy Trinity gets their second chance, how nice!
It ain't no VR, actually. I'm saying this, bc I remember someone leaving tags "Oh, it makes me think of post V3 VR digital limbo", and I know this is a popular fanon, but that's not the case here. As a reader, even if I don't gravitate towards the trope, I like it when it's done well - Kodaka did do some cool stuff VR motives in his games, and so did the fandom - but as creator I can't think of anything inspired (plus at the time I had no clue it was such widespread interpretation). And I suppose my brain naturally prefers stories to happen within more material settings, even if they're warped and influenced by a mind, or reality-breaking phenomena? So, my point... everything in GDT is very much real. The killing game happened for real. People died for real… And some got to live for "real" again.
I'm making it all work by playing with and building upon certain elements and technology already established within canon. And this is mostly where I draw the horror element from.
I considered one of the first hints towards what's truly happening - aside from the body in the morgue - that every time you'd die as Gonta within the game, he'd find his previous body lying in that spot. Players would need to pick his things back up, such as glasses and items. Kinda like in Automata or the "bloodstain-retrieval" system in soulsborne? There of course would be a limit to how many would appear, as the oldest one would start to naturally disintegrate. There'd be some more of those hints in Prologue, but I'd make discovering them all except for the morgue optional and missable. Like, if Gonta didn't die in that segment, the player would never know they could stumble upon his old body, until that happened later in the game. Or if he didn't return to a specific place after something specific happens, then he wouldn't witness something curious. I just... like elements like that, that aren't vital but fuel the conspiracy and reward wall-licking XD. Of course there'd be an option for no-death runs, aside from those imposed by the plot.
Gonta fights with a manhole cover attached to the very chains he was tied with during his execution XD. I wanted to give him a wacky weapon that would fit what Toko and Komaru use.
[DRAMATIS PERSONAE, CHARACTER ARCS/DYNAMIC, ETC.?]
Things I'd like to explore the most are Gonta's compulsions, and whether he can grow to accept being seen in the wrong or negative way, without his self-worth falling apart. Whether he's capable of letting Miu heal on her own, without him in the picture, without insisting on desperately fixing things, or showing how regretful and sorry he is; how he can handle someone challenging his near-obsessive and self-destructive need for being seen by others as a good person, while ironically having zero self-preservation and harbouring so much self-hatred. Whether he can realise how insisting on helping everyone the way he does can paradoxically come off as self-centered, in spite of his inherent selflessness, earnestness, and genuine love for others. How there are some things that just can't be fixed... and you still gotta live and still deserve, no, have a duty to care for yourself. Just... ya know. A few examples out of an endless list of his personal issues that imo need addressing one way or another. Nothing is really easy for him, not even his integration into FF ranks, as no one here, not even Gonta, is exactly sure what is up with him coming back to life. He's given a chance to prove himself, though he's not automatically granted the freedom to do what he pleases. But he understands.
Truth is, the nature of his revival aside, Gonta in general trusts himself less. He seems to act like his old self alright, but there's an air of resignation and subtle hopelessness to the way he seems to perceive himself now. He's in a worse state, even if he keeps moving forward for other people's sake. The 4th trial, after all, felt like a thorough breakdown and "confirmation" of his worst fears and criticism he had about himself, or how others used to misjudge him. It's not something that wouldn't leave a trace on his already shitty self-perception. Thankfully, there are some compassionate souls looking out for him, like Himiko, for example. But it's not just her.
I didn't think I'd reveal it this way, I actually hoped to compile my old sketches of this in future… but it involves my very first Gonta ship ever.
Namely Gonta x Toko (or as I like to call it, gontoko). At the time, I didn't have it in me to delve into ougoku (wounds still too fresh to feel worth it yet, despite some morbid fascination) nor saigoku (somehow didn't click for me for over 3-4 months after finishing V3 despite the massive in-game fuel being present in there). In my eyes ship with Toko provided that perfect balance of cozy/healthy but still flawed dynamic, while still having some "tooth" to it (aka psychological f-ckupery and dysfunctionality between two people trying to make sense of each other and their inner demons, contrasts and parallels etc.) without me feeling like I'm tossing Gonta in a heartbreakingly and irreparably harmful to him situation.
With that in mind though, we're NOT interfering with Tokomaru in any way whatsoever. Tokomaru is *sacred*. Nothing will break it apart. It's a 100% "Toko has two hands" situation. That's her life now, and you bet she gets constant migraines over it. She now has to deal with two "but I'm too normal/dumb for this wahh wahh shitty self-esteem!" green-haired messes. Plus the thought that she's kiiiinda like her dad now, with tho partners, drives Toko up the walls. Thing is, this girl is doing this right, even if she doesn't currently see it this way. Meanwhile Gonta can fry her brain with kindness and deep respect she's so not wired to handle.
That being said, my goal with them isn't exactly touchy-feely stuff, but exploring their dynamic as two deeply self-loathing but sensitive and hard-working towards self-betterment people, who know how it's like to discover they're murderers, while having zero memory of the act - and how crushing it is towards any crumbs of positive self-perception and hope for being deserving of affection/validation they might've held onto until this point in their life. Different circumstances, motivations, and the ways it all transpired, but still, there are grounds for mutual understanding here. At the same time Toko seems like a perfect character to call Gonta out on his bs in a way no one else could: both in good faith with genuine, constructive support in mind, as well as due to her own flaws and current hangups causing her to lash out. Both options can create potentially compelling conflict. But frankly, it goes both ways. After all, Gonta does tend to make simple but startingly on-point observations, sometimes. They'd just be dishing reality-checks at each other, whether knowingly or not :D
Perhaps I could also touch upon Gonta's and Toko's (either conscious or not) tendency to gravitate towards individuals who are "evil-coded" (regardless of whether they're really evil or not, either personality or aesthetic-wise), or those who either talk down, insult, mistreat if not outright harm/use them. It's something that sadly many victims of abuse in the real world do - habitually ending up in toxic circles, since it's something familiar, while not reacting to, not "computing", feeling lost, confused or even stressed out in more healthy dynamics. And from what I see, both Toko and Gonta are different flavours of that in their own right...
I'd like to explore the parallels between Gonta and Komaru as well, from a friendship perspective. I do see certain similarities between them, how they were both set up to end up making drastic choices via someone else orchestrating everything with that exact outcome in mind, before Gonta/Komaru would ever know they'd be making such a choice... I truly think the only difference between Gonta and Komaru is that, at her lowest, after her spirits were broken upon seeing that video, there was someone by her side, who *actually* cared for her and prioritized her wellbeing; someone who would fight to stop her from making a decision driven by despair, as opposed to actively feeding into and enabling it. Then, there's of course the issue of low self-esteem, and downplaying one's achievements. Komaru in this story has of course mostly grown past this and in a much better place, but to an extent, she certainly could see some of her past self in Gonta.
Plus, on a lighter note, with Komaru wanting to be a manga artist, and Gonta thinking comic artists and book illustrators are "good people" (because it makes understanding complex concepts easy for him), I feel like they could become good buddies via that passion of hers. Also in DR:S both Gonta and Komaru asked Angie for art advice... they're both aspiring artists in a way!
Also I find it really damn funny that Komaru is very similar to "komar", which is the polish word for mosquito xD. That certainly would appeal to Mr Ultimate Entomologist!
Shuichi and Komaru are petrolhead friends, and they wish oh so badly to have a car vs motorbike race with each other. It'd be a waste of FF resources, but they can't help to get excited about the idea. And maybe they'd get a sequence dedicated to just that… with an extra bonus of escaping from a horde of monobeasts.
As you may have gathered already, Kameko is an actual character in there, she helps with espionage and exploration, and she indeed is the bug Gonta meets at the end of Prologue, that helps him find the (Towa?) city. She rightfully serves as the catalyst for the whole gontoko deal starting :).
The twist tho is… this actually ain't original Kameko, but one of her descendants, who took it upon itself to keep her name and live as "Kameko" and Toko's friend. Life of a stink bug isn't that long, after all, ranging between 6-8 months once it exits the nymph stage. Yes, it has thematic relevance to the overall story. :D
Maki finds herself busy with taking care of Monokuma Children (the helmet wearing kids from UDG), using her knowledge of living and working in orphanage... frankly, she's seeing a bit on herself in those kids, who had their hands stained, going as far as to orphan themselves due to brainwashing. Sure, her memories might not be real... but to her it feels real, and the empathy for their circumstances is still there in her heart. She's also a close friend with Nagisa.
Miu's out there, as we already know, dealing with her own problems, and seemingly in a way worse situation than Kokichi and Gonta are. Seems like Monokuma is keeping her captive, and wants to form her into the next Junko - and with Miu being completely alone here, she pretty much forces herself to comply out of fear. She's also developed trauma response to hearing apologies - as this was the very last thing she kept hearing while dying. Still, she's not exactly proud of what she did to Gonta in retaliation during their accidental "reunion". She feels like she's crossed a moral line she can't exactly come back from. And this, as well as the current state of the world she wished to make better with her inventions, would accumulate and make her want to fight against her cowardice.
Kokichi... is quite tricky to describe, not gonna lie, because a lot of his arc relies on mystery and working while in hiding. He's seemingly found everywhere, defying logical explanation, as to how he could even move between those locations. He's no doubt planning something though. Trying to defeat the evils... in his own way. Which is naturally making life harder for everyone around, both "allies" and enemies. He's seemingly alone, but extremely busy executing a certain plan of his.
There's one version of Kokichi though, that starts sort of hanging around the Gonta+Tokomaru team. I affectionately call him Fukushima Flower Kokichi due to the odd deformities of his body (there will be a concept sketch below). He seems more frail and quieter and even... sweeter? Than his normal self. Because of that, Gonta, in his compulsive empathy, finds it difficult to completely dismiss the little guy and not feel bad towards him, despite the anxiety he feels after the Ch4 events. He's cautious and tense, but can't help not to at least keep an eye on him. This particular Kokichi also assures that he's... Disconnected from the "main one", and therefore "safe". Whatever that means.
[MAJOR SPOILER/DEEP LORE TERRITORY + EXPERIMENTAL IDEAS?] (beware if you care for those, there's 0,0000000000001% change this might be made within next 30 years lmao)
Nanokumas, son. They mutate in response to despair! You can't get rid of them, Gonta.
After the end of the 53rd killing game, and the survivor trio escaping the Academy, with no Motherkuma to oversee and control their numbers, they eventually began to go rogue and self-replicate while executing their hidden self-preservation protocol and now bugged programming indiscriminately. And then they went on without anyone's supervision or knowledge for a very long while.
One of the by-products of their activity is Mono-beasts we know from UDG mutating into Eldritch Abominations, and certain individuals coming back wrong, but it's actually so much more than that, and the situation is pretty dire. The world is at the risk of grey goo apocalypse, and what's going around is pretty much the Mist meets End of Evangelion bs. And they might go "I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream" pretty soon, considering that for some death isn't an escape any more. Despair and the concept of killing games has taken a new form, pretty much, and the horrible discoveries don't end here.
Knowing this, Gonta, Kokichi and Miu... it's not surprising to find that they're all literally infested with nanomachines holding their cells like glue, and of course their newfound existence comes with a catch.
The stability of their form is influenced by their mental state, self-perception, and to a limited extent, their own will, the last one allowing for introducing unique fighting or puzzle-solving mechanics later on. But, as a scary side-effect, they're at risk of physically manifesting their emotional distress... including exhibiting the symptoms of their deaths. Their bodies may lose integrity and simply fall apart on a cellular level if things go unchecked for too long.
For now the assumption is that Kokichi was the first one to revive (with Miu second, and Gonta last). Because of this, his form is the most flawed and unstable one out of all of them. There might be more than one of him, too.
Kokichi's revival was an accident, Miu's seems to have happened by Monokuma's design, but how did Gonta even came back to life? By whose will and design? Was it an accident, just like in Kokichi's case, or...? It's true, that when he woke up, it seemed like some things were specifically prepared just for him to find. Either way Gonta's in the middle when it comes to stability, but it can go either way, depending on how much he relies on special fighting mechanics, and on his arc/choices made.
Miu's arguably in best condition, since her body wasn't destroyed like the guys' were. She wasn't as much revived via complete rebuilding, but her original body was "simply repaired". However, at first, she's unaware that she truly died - being instead convinced by Monokuma, that she miraculously survived and ended up in a coma instead.
Even if they're technically immortal, it doesn't mean the process of dying or reviving wouldn't be traumatic, as they'd then wake up and remember all of the pain they've gone through, or remain conscious in states any other human being would perish from. There are also things suggesting their super-healing abilities might come with certain dangers attached to them, so... perhaps the "survival" aspect of the game doesn't ever disappear entirely, it's just that the repercussions for dying are recontextualised.
Either way, speaking of existential issues...
So, if you're a "clone" of yourself with your memories "reinstalled" via Flashback Light, are you still that person? Are you really different, if molecularly, functionally and psychologically you're the perfect recreation of the "original"? Or perhaps the body at the morgue was the fake one? Who knows? And does it even matter, considering that previously, your memories and backstory were a fabrication anyway? You're pretty much just an Alter Ego installed onto "flesh hardware", just like you were before. The only difference is that your previous body might've used a real human being - with their own life and history - as a base, and currently you're using a "blank slate" aka a clone. Or perhaps that old body was a clone, too, and the original is out there, somewhere? And if so... did he have a say in your/his participation in the 53rd killing game?
Was this how the Ch3 resurrection ritual was supposed to actually work? (In my mind, yes. With nanotech, imo cloning is also within the realm of possibility for this universe, but even without it Team DR could've just kidnapped an unwilling body double and slap fake memories onto him and call it a day)
Maki, out of all three V3 survivors, is the most sceptical of the idea of bringing others back the same way Gonta was. She worries about Shuichi and Himiko getting false hopes of saving Kaede, Kaito, Tenko and Angie, and getting themselves into danger by obsessing over this. She also doesn't exactly trust Gonta… Well, she pretty much doesn't view Gonta as Gonta, but an imposter, and perhaps a spy or something akin to a living Troyan Horse, even if unwilling/unwitting. Basically, she thinks there has to be a reason for him to come back to life to conveniently end up with Future Foundation, and all of this might be one big trap. It's only thanks to Himiko's and surprisingly Toko's insistence that she doesn't do as much about it as she normally would have. Plus, when it goes to Kaito... the idea of a """living""" "puppet" that emulates his behaviour feels like an affront to both his memory and her feelings for him. Gonta will certainly remember all that.
There's also a problem of how Gonta, Miu and Kokichi deal with the news that their past life wasn't real to begin with...
For Gonta... most of the things he was doing in his life were for others, out of genuine need to see them happy, but also because Gonta wanted to both be and be seen as a good and helpful person. So, if it's all fake, if all those people - who've shaped or inspired his goals and motivations, who were the source of abuse, neglect, of his insecurities - have never existed to begin with, then what did he work for so hard, what did he felt so stupid and worthless for? In his FTEs, Shuichi helped Gonta focus on himself a bit more, but it seems like a wasted effort now. Just what set of values should he even pursue now? He can't help but mourn the forest family, specific bug friends, and many other people in his life, that turns out he never truly had. What Maki said about him being just a copy that's convinced they're the original doesn't help either. He feels horrible about "stealing" the life of that original person. Like a parasite that got his host's life snuffed out, only to continue living in their body undeservingly. Something akin to Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, the zombie-ant fungus. Suffice to say... this whole thing is a source of a lot of anguish for him, and to no one's surprise, he feels personally responsible. He's even begging FF to help him find the real family of that individual, so that he can "atone" by living with them while pretending to be the"original" person before they had "Gonta mod" installed. That idea is very firmly and promptly shot down by Toko.
Kokichi, I imagine, could be pushed further down the unhinged territory... For all the lies he's ever told and the masks he's put on, he, at the very least, assumed he could depend on knowing the truth about himself, no matter how deeply it was hidden. But now it turns out to be a lie he's never signed up for, and he gets that extra layer of detachment from everything. Or perhaps it's the total opposite - he's glad to be "rid off" his "true" self, if it was something he wanted to bury or avoid - and the sense of losing touch with it is "no biggie", or so he insists. Still, it annoys him to no end, that it's a result of someone else's will, instead of his own. "Invasive" doesn't even begin to describe it. Underneath it all though, there's that persistent nihilistic thought of "I can do anything, create anything, I have no attachments to anyone and anything. I can shape myself into who I want over and over and over and over, and no one will stop me now." - and this revelation is both freeing and depressing for him. All he knows for sure is that Monokuma is still pissing him off, and he wants that bitch down. And he's going to make that everyone's problem.
Miu actually takes the news quite well. See, if I had to sum up her own arc... it's definitely the most shoneny one out of them all XD. The whole thing with Miu becoming Junko is basically her going from complying with Monokuma's plans out of fear, to deliberately pretending to do so, so that she can have an in depth access to his tech, come up with proper plans against him etc. etc.. She causes a ton of problems to the other characters, yes, because she has to put on a believable act, but I wanted Miu's endgame to be this wholesome twist with her dramatically undoing her pig-tails, as she announces she's *not* and *never* would be some Junk! She's the one and only golden girl genius Miu Iruma, and she's here to save the world with her inventions, not fuck it over. Monokuma retorts to this by reminding her that she's a fake, but her response is basically: "Oh, that "us being fiction" thing? So? I LOVE being me. It's fuckin' awesome to be Miu Iruma!". It probably helps that, in her made up backstory, she became an inventor after waking up from a coma episode, so the unreality and randomness of her identity was pretty much always part of the package. Plus, falsely acquired or not, her knowledge is still applicable and Miu *can* come up with and build things that work, and make tangible difference through them. If that doesn't make it real, then what does? So, what's the point of the angst, again? She concludes her old self would LOVE to be her. Tldr, I just want this girl to keep winning, okay?
At one point Gonta faces another temptation - if his personality, backstory, traumas, self-hatred, if they're all fake, and coming from nothing "real", no tangible experience, then what's even the point of sticking to his hangups, of... dealing with this mess? Of tormenting himself and failing because of who he is? Why not ditch it all and take a shortcut by rewriting himself completely, into someone better, smarter, more useful, someone... just perfect. What's the point of being the person he intuitively hates, if all of that can seemingly be changed at a whim and snap of a finger? The moment he's able to notice and verbalize those feelings, the mere possibility eats at him from the inside, especially since the technology IS there. He could spare everyone so much trouble, so much time spent on coaching him, on teaching him, on explaining the obvious, spare them from getting frustrated with his naivete or lack of knowledge... Sure, it might mean he will ultimately become a different person, effectively ending his current self, but isn't that a fair price for providing benefit to the world and his friends? It doesn't even dawn on him that some people might've already gotten attached to who he currently is, and the outcome of his actions might depend on several gameplay factors.
I'm thinking about the structure where there would be hidden counters for Affection (with Toko), Doom (based on narrative personal choices, character development and monitoring emotional state, the amount of deaths etc.) and Performance (based again on amount of deaths, reliance on special abilities in fights, objective completion rate, and damage healing), that could determine different endings for different combinations of those (like Low/High/Poor status respectively could result in a Bad End at one point), even if generally those would be interconnected anyways. The game would be, again, linear, but because of those counters there, a small branching in narrative leading to an earlier ending could occur along that path.
I did say I'm not really inspired by VR AU, but after stewing on it while writing this post, maybe there could be some slight elements of it. It could help introduce some trippier and more surreal segments into the mix, that I wouldn't know how to incorporate otherwise, aside from literally breaking their fabric of reality as we know it XD (not that it isn't broken already, but...). It would serve as no more than plot/scene enhancer, rather than a major component of it.
Nyeh. I wish we could play a segment as Himiko. Do some MAGIC. Or to put it simply, use stuff like sleight of hand and tricks to distract people in order to solve stealth puzzles or something like that.
Jfc I just found a scribble that Gonta gets shitface drunk on purpose at one point, I dunno anymore what his plan was, he wanted to poison nanokumas or something? XDDD Or maybe he was just so done with everything up to this point? dasjgdsaj I forgot about that bit but it's hilarious and it so stays if I ever make this game dajhgsajhgjsadgj I don't care what I will have to do to make it in-character, it's gonna happen xDDDD
Komaeda's here too????? Just... Happy to be there? Talking esoteric stuff? Enjoying the show not even from a front row, but putting his chair right on the damn stage? Taking in the view of the "great tide of human enterprise, coming to naught"? XD Rooting for Hope??? XD
[RANDOM TRIVIA etc.]
I'd like to expand on the references to the other media thing. Before V3 I used to be one of those assholes who would see fanarts as a waste of time and effort as opposed to just focusing on one's own original content. You know, the "why would you spend time on something someone else made, instead of making your own thing?". Turns out I haven't loved a fictional story strong enough to understand the drive until it finally hit. There IS merit and certain selfless dedication to pursuing fanarts and expressing love for something that isn't about you or your concepts. It is an unique and wonderful feeling with a different flavor of satisfaction, just like doing personal artwork vs commission work are activities that feel rewarding in a completely distinct way (happiness of self-actualization to see your inner world come to life vs pride of a professional who likes making happy clients. With fanarts I'd say it's... Sense of celebration and paying homage. And rotating the blorbo).
Either way, this was a considerable shift in mentality for me, and ngl, it felt huge. So now that I had my anime redemption arc, my change of heart, my heel turn, I wanted to go out of my way to actively make GDT a love letter to other games or manga that I liked. Just like V3 sort of did, with its characters and story being their own thing, while simultaneously being PACKED with references to other media.
For example, I listened a ton to this "Time and Tide" by Alan Price song from Plague Dogs while thinking of this story. A song about the ocean/waves and going home, just like "At the Bottom of the Sea", but whose message is a completely opposite one. I wanted it to be the theme for the Good/True Ending, and kind of symbolic for the character arc Gonta would go through.
One of the manga I want to reference a lot is Gunnm (or Battle Angel Alita). It's one of my all time faves and fundamentals of my art style, and I think it has a ton of motives than could mesh well, because of the motives it itself tackles: cyborgs, and their total opposite, humans with flesh body but chip instead of a brain; humans who sold off their biological tissue and rights to DNA and someone else ended up constructing literal monsters and mutants out of those; scientists who achieved near-immortality thanks to cloud of nanomachines; 3D bioprinters; people whose DNA was designed from scratch, and people who wanted to mass produce them for "bloody, killing sports"; quantum supercomputers forecasting future and dictating humanity's fate; an "Incubator", where biological brains dream of a fake world, while their energy is used as a power and processing units for said quantum computers; the concept of freedom, instinct and definitions of *True* free will and individuality in a world like that. I wouldn't go as extra on those motives in GDT, but I'd love to incorporate some of that into the overarching themes and plot elements as far as constraints of original universe could plausibly allow (and with nanomachines, full-immersion VR, big mechas, robots, and personality/memory rewriting machines I think there's quite a lot of that wiggle room for those elements to fit like glove). An artificial personality installed onto biological "hardware", and the whole Theseus ship dilemma as to whether they're still an individual is something that would fit perfectly alongside such homages.
I wanted to pay homage to Gentleman Dress Up, too, by making some collectible clothes for Gonta, but... I dunno, at this point this thing already turns into such an overambitious project XD... still I thought it'd be neat.
[SOME EXTRA DOODLES TO MAKE UP FOR THAT WALL TEXT] (at least those more legible ones)

(The three main sillies. And Kameko!)

(Poster sketches, Nuclear Flower Kokichi, Gonta hairstyle concepts - I was thinking maybe some choices could result in him having either long or short hair- etc.,etc... Oh, and about that Gonta & Kokichi sketch in the upper right corner... Remember that one wip compilation I posted a long, long time ago? This one? Well, I kinda sorta deliberately showed an edited out version back then. Now you can see how it's really suppossed to look like. Hopefully certain details are noticeable :) It's from a True Ending. Make of it what you will :D)
I wish I could post more drawings in the same style as the previous concepts for this game, especially moody environments/scenes (I specifically practiced a style that'd be quick, but give a vibe of a finished piece), but in reality the majority of those are either too messy to be legible, some I'd like to work more on (like Miu's new attire, more mono-nano-monster designs, etc.) and some are still in my head... I do hope to do so one day though.
[TO SUM THIS UP]
There are a lot of things I haven't ultimately talked about, and frankly, if I were to do this project for real, I'm not sure how many of those ideas would be left unchanged, or even make it to the final product... Reading my old notes, there are definitely concepts I'd do differently now, or ones that felt a bit embarrassing to talk about here... But that's pretty much the gist of it at its current form!
It's been a while, too... I haven't thought about GDT as much ever since I've got similar emotional catharsis by making Gonta in Code Vein and playing it while projecting his post-V3 arc onto it. But I had fun with it, and getting your ask... kinda rekindled those brain worms, haha. I dunno if actually making it into a game would be ever feasible for me, who has zero gamedev/coding knowledge aside from designing 2d assets for my friends/other people's indie games. Even if I had to make it much simpler and sacrifice most of the play mechanics... But concept artbook though... that would be lovely. And within the realm of possibility. But not this year. And very unlikely a year after that. There are other priorities, and more pressing artistic matters now xD.
Thank you for sending that ask and giving me an opportunity to talk about it. I hope at least some of it was interesting!
#turbo-tsun reply#turbo-tsun blah#turboarting#gonta gokuhara#toko fukawa#kokichi ouma#danganronpa#danganronpa another universe giga despair triad#drau gdt#aka that gonta horror game#gontoko#long post#cw body horror#cw blood#cw strong language
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