#I haven't had much time to be on dash but I'm sure plenty of people are discussing whatever it is you wish I was

[kindahoping4forever]

Do you ever post about their music or do you only ever talk about how hot they are?

I'd love to talk about the music but outside of an ask I answered yesterday, the only other I've received about the album had a drama agenda and I don't fuck with that.

They were hot today 🤷🏻‍♀️

[lovvecherrymotion]

Hello!! Can I ask for a personal opinion...? I hope you won't mind too much, I really like your posts and didn't know who else to ask :') It's a really amazing fandom here and I love everyone like real friends, even if I haven't met anyone. Some time ago I shared few personal posts which was just me grumbling about life, and got unfollowed by a mutual I really looked up to :") Then few months later it happened again with another mutual. I know not to take it personally but now every time I post anything, especially if it's personal stories, all I think is that people hate seeing it and I should just shut up deactivate completely. I still follow them and I see them making real friends with others, so it kind of stabs me twice I guess.. And even months later I keep questioning what did I do wrong? Am I that annoying, even online where people can just scroll past? I know it's not that serious and I shouldn't care and no one cares either, but it's been eating me up. Actually I don't think there's anything that can be done, sorry to use your ask box to gush out xD I really wanted to be on anon so no one else can unfollow me :') (also I don't think you know them and we don't speak but I love seeing you on my dash). Yeah I don't know what this was either, also sorry to jump you up with this from an early morning xD (You can delete it too I promise it's completely fine, I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable)

hi, anon! i'm finally sitting down and chilling for a couple of hours until my next flight, so i can answer

i think we've all felt that way at one point or another. hell, whenever i make a personal post or vent about something i'm always really scared i'm annoying others. i think it'd be really hurtful if i wrote a personal post and had a mutual/friend unfollow me over it and i'd be overthinking it a lot. while i'm a big believer in curating your online space and i don't think unfollowing/blocking has to be *that* personal, i can't recall ever unfollowing a mutual or a friend because they were venting about their problems. once again, people are free to do whatever and they don't have to justify themselves, but it just sounds really shitty. tbh we're not always in the mood to deal with other people's problems, but if it's just a post you can scroll past, you can... just do that

that being said, i don't think it's a you problem. i mean, obviously i don't know who you are, but just from this ask you seem very sweet. i do think joblr is a very nice place, with very nice people, but it can be hard to get a conversation/friendship started, especially if it seems like everyone else is somehow able to make friends and you're not. suddenly it feels like a big thing you're excluded from and while everyone else is having fun you're left wondering if you can be a part of it. i've felt that way - and i still do sometimes ngl. but i can promise you there's plenty of us around here who love to talk to others and make friends. ofc you don't always click with everyone, but i'm sure there are other joblr users who'd love to befriend you 💜

(also thanks for the very kind words! i'm sorry if this is a bit rambly but it's been a long week lol)

[plasmaheatshipping]

hi i haven't posted something i've written publicly in uh. four years according to ao3? but i wrote this at work and haven't really proofread it but i'm posting it anyway.

this is from the isekai universe, describing my and n's first meeting.

warning: it's written in second-person perspective so if that's not your thing then probably don't read lol

Pokémon battling came more naturally to you than you thought it might. It didn’t take long for your new Swirlix to warm up to you, and before you realized it, you’d passed the beginners’ instruction. Likely helping matters was that these “sync pair” matches were greatly simplified compared to the battles you’d played in the games – with only one Pokémon to keep track of per opponent, your mind was freer to focus solely on what was in front of you, rather than having to strategize around what the opposite team might next send out.

In terms of adjusting to your new life, it was surprisingly smooth-going as well. For those who had chosen to stay on Pasio long-term, a set of dorm-style apartments had been built, and you moved in free of charge. It wasn’t that much different than living alone had been before. And it seemed as though you weren’t the only one who had been abducted from your past life rather suddenly and without any of your things, so the fact that you had no identification documents nor proof you had ever existed in this world before posed little problem – you just got new ones, with everyone taking you at your word that you were who you said you were. You were just... accepted into the fold like it was natural.

So you supposed it shouldn’t have come as a surprise that you were expected to join the Pokémon Masters League and its upcoming tournament once you’d landed on your feet.

“Eh? Me? Join the PML?” The question was sprung on you in the middle of your lunch, a bite halfway to your mouth.

“Yeah!” Rosa answered. “Why not? You’ve been doing really well with battling, especially since you’ve never done it before coming here!”

“Well, I mean...” You looked away. “There are going to be a lot of way better trainers there than me, right? I wouldn’t get very far.”

“So what?” When you set your food down, Rosa took your hands in hers. “It’s for the fun of battling! Getting closer with your partner Pokémon, forging new friendships with your teammates, learning more about yourself... It would be like a mini Pokémon journey! Doesn’t it sound fun?”

You had to admit, with the way her eyes were sparkling and the romance with which she described it, it did sound a little tempting... But you still weren’t sure. After all...

“Don’t you need to have a team of three to participate?” you asked. “And it’s close enough to the start of the tournament that I’m sure everyone else has a team by now...”

“Sure, plenty of people do,” Rosa shrugged. “But there are also plenty still looking! Why don’t you try putting up a flyer on the team-seeking board? You never know!”

So that was exactly what you did. Late at night, when the Pokémon Center was mostly empty, you snuck over to the big post board labeled “LOOKING FOR TEAMMATES?”. Your small, handwritten flyer didn’t have a whole lot – just your name, your partner Pokémon, your skill level, your Poryphone number, and a time and place to meet in person – and it didn’t stand out much from the crowd, aside from the little doodles you’d dotted the page with. With a few deep breaths to calm your nerves, you stapled the paper to the board and dashed back to your apartment.

--

To your great surprise, you’d already received messages from a few interested parties when you woke up the next day. Nothing in the way of names you recognized, but you tried not to dismiss them out of hand just because, like, Diantha or Red hadn’t hit you up. There were only so many famous people to go around, and you assumed most of them were already in a team, if they were participating at all. So you chose to meet up with some of the potential teammates, try a battle or two.

A few days later, you hadn’t been particularly impressed. Maybe you’d underestimated your skill level on your flyer, or maybe these people were all trying to hit above their skill level, but... Prospects so far weren’t great. Their partners didn’t really cover for your weaknesses, either, or even at least complement your strengths. You started to wonder if you should try seeking others out, instead of waiting for a great teammate to come to you.

At the end of your first week of searching, you weren't meeting anyone, but still you showed up. Daydreaming about winning the PML turned to an unintentional midday nap, right where you had chosen to hang out for in-person meetups with prospective team members. Nobody had messaged you today, and the mid-afternoon sun hit you just right to lull you off to sleep. Your light drowsing had almost turned to full-on slumbering when a voice jostled the back of your mind.

“Excuse me?” It was faint, you couldn’t really hear it. “Pardon me?” Mm. They must be talking to someone else. “Excuse me, are you Xavier?”

Hearing your name, partnered with the hand you unexpectedly felt on your shoulder, jolted you awake. You looked around wildly for a few seconds trying to gather your scattered mind, before turning to the left and just about having a heart attack.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were asleep!” That voice. That face. That hair...

“I-i-it’s alright,” you managed to stutter around your thundering heartbeat. “Y-yeah, I’m Xavier! H-h-how can I help you?”

“I saw you were looking for a team.” It couldn’t be. This couldn’t be real.

All you could do was swallow and nod.

“My name is N.” The words you’d been hoping to hear since your life turned upside-down. “I wanted to try out.”

You had to stop yourself from fainting. Here N was, in the flesh, he was real! You could reach out and touch him! And he’d already even touched you! But you had to act normal. He couldn’t know how you already felt about him before even meeting him. And also you had to reply instead of just staring into his (bright blue) eyes.

“Oh!” You scrambled for the Poké Ball you kept Swirlix in. “Sure! Right now?”

“I can give you a minute to get ready if you need,” N laughed. Oh god, what a wonderful sound. You were now sure that you had died and Pasio was actually heaven.

“No, no, I’m good!” No sooner than the words had left your mouth did you jump up off the bench. “Uh, who’s your partner Pokémon?”

“I actually have two.” Clipped to N’s belt was a pouch that, upon N opening it, revealed two round objects – one Poké Ball, and—oh shit, was that the Dark Stone? “I haven’t yet decided between battling alongside Zoroark and Zekrom.”

“Z-Zekrom?” The question left your mouth before you could stop it. You had always thought N was the Hero of Truth, but... maybe you didn’t know him as well as you thought you did.

“That sort of reaction is exactly why I’m not sure,” N sighed. “I’d love to battle alongside Zekrom, but most people find fighting a Legendary Pokémon to be... intimidating.”

“No, no!” You waved your hands in front of you. “I’m fine battling a Legendary! Well, I mean, I’ve never done it before, but I’m sure I’d be alright. So, you know, do whatever you want to do. I have a type advantage either way. N-not that that means I think I’m gonna win! I know type advantages aren’t everything, I was just—”

“It’s okay, I got what you meant.” N smiled at you and you may as well have died on the spot. “Still, you said you're a beginner, so I’ll partner with Zoroark for this battle.” He had such a beautiful smile...

“Yeah...” Your voice came out as a murmur before you caught yourself being a weirdo again. “I-I mean, yeah! Let’s do this.” You and N found a nice, clear space to battle, released your Pokémon, and began.

--

N absolutely handed your ass to you. Not only did the type advantage not matter in the slightest, but evidently you betrayed your every intention before your commands even reached his ears. He read you like a book.

“A-alright, alright, Swirlix, that’s enough!” Before it quite ran out of energy, you recalled Swirlix to its Ball, giving it a little kiss. “You did great.”

“Here,” N tossed you a Potion, and you released Swirlix again, spraying its wounds down. It trilled happily and headbutted you.

“Thanks, N.” Wow, saying his name out loud... Even though you lost the battle, you were on cloud nine.

“That was a great battle.” Walking over to your side, N returned Zoroark to its Poké Ball. “Even though you were at a noticeable disadvantage in terms of raw power, you still made every move count.”

“Oh, you flatter me...” You shook your head. “You had that battle in the palm of your hand from the start. Don’t give me too much credit.”

“Sure, but you didn’t battle like it,” N shrugged. “You didn’t just give up and give the bare minimum. And the way you pushed Swirlix – just enough for it to be satisfied with the battle, but not so hard it got hurt. I’m seriously impressed. You say you’re a beginner, but you battle like you’ve been doing this a long time.”

“Ahaha, well...” Shit. Was he onto you? “Maybe I just have good instincts.”

“And innate respect for your Pokémon.” N held out his hand. “If you’ll have me, I’d like to team up with you.”

Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit. It was really happening. You looked dumbly between N’s face and his hand before your brain rebooted enough for you to take his hand (probably a bit too hard) and shake it.

“Yes! Of course! Thank you!”

[dragon-kazansky]

Dangerous | Helmut Zemo

AU! Race car driver Zemo 😎

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Masterlist]

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 5

It had been a week since you had seen Zemo. You hadn't seen your friend at all either. You had tried to contact her a couple of times, but after receiving no responses, you gave up. It still didn't sit right with you that she and Stark were a thing.

You were currently at work. You were on the afternoon shift today. You could handle the afternoon crowd easier than the morning crowd. It wasn't your usual shift, so your usual co-workers weren't here to banter with.

You were wiping down the counter when a customer approached. You wipe your hands on the towel over your shoulder and turn to take their order, only to stop.

"Zemo?"

He stands there smiling. He was wearing slacks with a button up shirt. He looked very smart, yet so laid back.

"Hello Y/N."

"What are you doing here?"

"Not happy to see me?" He grins.

"I am, it's just... I didn't expect to see you before the race."

He chuckles as he orders something to drink.

"I couldn't wait much longer. I wanted to see your world." He glances around the cafe. It was a nice place. Classy and clearly a good place for groups to hang out.

"Well this is it. I make drinks for people." You make him his drink and hand it over. He pays for it there.

"I like it. It suits you, but I think you'd fit into my world just fine."

You laugh, "not that I'd be of any use in your world. I can barely change a tyre."

That makes him chuckle.

"I'm sure there would be something for you."

You shake your head with a smile.

"Oh, it's your lucky day by the way. My boss happens to be a fan of yours, so I have next weekend off for the races."

"Ah, lucky me indeed." He looks very smug right now. You shake your head, grinning.

"Just this once. I can't take every weekend off."

"Well that's no good. I need you for all my races," he says, stating it like a fact.

"You don't need me. You just want me there for some reason."

Zemo leans on the bar and looks at you softly. He has a small soft smile on his face. You were right in every way.

"Yes, I do want you there."

"I don't see why."

"I like you," he says with ease, confidence oozing from him as he grins at you.

You laugh softly.

"You're so..."

"Handsome? Charming? Dashing?"

"So funny."

You both laugh softly.

"I should get back to work before my manager catches me chatting up the customers," you say, glancing over your shoulder.

"Oh? Do you flirt with others then?"

"Only the good looking ones," you stick your tongue out at him. He winks and takes a seat at a table near by. Though there is literally plenty for him to do, he chooses to watch you work instead.

This was you in your element. Life passing more slowly, more safely.

There was serenity in this life style. Something he couldn't provide through his. He couldn't guarantee anything, as much as he would like to pretend.

There was always that risk.

Risks such greater than anything you could ever face here. He looked down at his half empty cup of coffee. Maybe he shouldn't ever ask you.

You bid goodbye to your customer, and looked over at Zemo. You smiled at him. He smiled back. He finished his coffee and got up from his table.

"That was lovely, though I do have a particular fondness for tea."

You chuckle.

"We serve tea too."

He smiles.

"When do you finish?" He asks.

You look up at the clock on the wall.

"Two more hours. Why don't you go look around the town or something."

"I think I will. I'll pick you up later, no arguing," he winks at you and makes his exit. You smile as you clear his table.

Zemo walks through the town you live in. It's nice, pretty. Again, it suits you perfectly.

Looking around, he almost feels homesick. There was nothing left of the place he once called home. He shakes those thoughts from his mind.

Something catches his attention up ahead. A limo. It stands out vastly against the rest of the cars on the street. Far too sleek, shiny, and expensive for anyone around here.

It irks him that he has a bad feeling about it.

From up the road, he watches as the man he dreaded steps out. Tony Stark put on his shades before holding his hand out for someone. A pretty young lady climbs out of the limo.

Something about her strikes Zemo as familiar. He can't pinpoint from where though.

Zemo watches as Stark closes the limo door and takes the young lady into boutique behind them.

What was Tony Stark doing here?

Zemo had made the trip for you. He had his excuse to be here instead of down at the track. Tony, however, didn't.

Zemo headed over to where he was stood across the street, though he couldn't quite see through the store window display.

He had to make himself scarce before Stark came out again. He didn't want Tony seeing him. As he walked away, he didn't let go of the thought that he had seen that girl before.

Zemo was back at the cafe at the end of your shift like he said he would be. The car he was driving was another one from his collection. He opened the door for you and climbed in once you were safely in his car.

As he drove to your address, which he flirted with you for, his mood changed to something a little more serious. Concerned, you had to ask him what happened in those 2 hours he was alone.

"Are you alright?"

He glances at you.

"Yes, why?"

"You're clutching the steering wheel rather tightly and your jaw is locked again. What's on your mind?"

"I saw Stark here in town."

You swallow awkwardly.

"Did he see you?"

"No. I saw him. He was with someone." He glances at you as you shift in your seat. Now it was turn to be concerned. "What is it?"

"That's my friend. Remember when she called me at the airstrip? She told me she was going to meet me at the train station and tell me something big. Well, when we got out, Tony Stark was there with a limousine. Apparently the news was she is daring him. They had met that night after the first race, he had asked her out and she agreed."

You couldn't look at him.

Zemo, keeping an eye on the road, reached over and placed his hand on your knee. Your eyes flickered to his hand. His touch was warm and comforting.

"She won't talk to me now. When we got to my place, I had asked her about it. She got defensive and shut me off."

His thumb rubs circles on your leg.

"You don't think this is some kind of stunt do you?" You ask, looking up at him.

"I don't know, but I wouldn't put it past him. It's not the first time he's done something big for publicity."

You want to ask, but something else comes to mind.

"They haven't made it public yet."

"I assume he'll make his move at the next race. Cameras everywhere there." He glances at you.

That makes sense.

"Are you bothered about it?" You ask, looking at him from the corner of your eye.

"No. What Stark does for publicity is his problem. The question, does it bother you?"

"Yes," you state honestly, "because I can't tell if it's real, or if she's being carried away by the fantasy of dating her favourite pro racer. I looked into racing as much as I possibly could before that second race. I tried to get some background on the racers, you included, but Stark seems to thrive on being in the spotlight. He wins over and over again, he trots around the globe to meet people and race his cars. He is always making headlines somewhere."

Zemo gave a nod. He was aware. It was because he kept seeing Stark pop up everywhere that he became a pro racer himself.

"You're worried about your friend. That is understandable."

"I'm worried for her if it's not real."

He glances at you. It's as he is sitting there, hand on your knee, glancing at you as he listens to you, that the thought returns to him. Helmut Zemo is not a man who plays around with people's feelings. If this was you two, there would be no other way than for him to be honest and true to you.

As a man who had lost everything in the past, he would never do that to you.

He takes his hand back as reaches your destination. Your apartment building was a nice little thing. You were up on the 3rd floor.

"Do you want to come in?"

He smiles.

"Yes, I do."

You chuckle. You both get out and you lead him up to your apartment. You smile nicely at your neighbours as you pass them, hoping they don't question the handsome man trailing behind you. No one seemed to recognise him, so that worked in your favour.

You let him into your apartment first.

"It's not much, but it's home."

The apartment wasn't huge, but spacious enough for one person. It was decorated nicely, every little thing a reflection of you. There was a bit of clutter here and there, but it was clear you looked after your space.

"I like it."

"Can't imagine the kind of place you live in. Bet it's a lot nicer than this." You head into the kitchen to make him some tea.

"Perhaps a little bigger, it's no castle."

You chuckle softly and set out two cups.

Zemo glances around at the photos on display. You don't have a lot, but he's curious to see what they are.

"Can I ask you something?" He asks, not looking away from a photo of you and your friend.

"Of course."

"When you were researching the racers, what did you find on me?"

You let the kettle boil as you look at his back.

"Not much, I'll be honest. I didn't want to ask about it, but there was something, if you'll let me."

He halts his movements and wonders what you found. It couldn't be, could it?

"What is it?"

"You're from Sokovia, right?"

He relaxes. Zemo turns slowly and smiles, but there isn't much emotion behind it.

"Yes. I was."

You nibble at your lip softly.

"I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for," he says, walking over to you.

"Still, I remember hearing about it on the news. It was everywhere for a while. I can't imagine losing my home country."

Zemo reaches over and takes your hand in his. You wouldn't vocalise the fact you realised he was being a lot more physical today. You enjoyed the feel of his touch.

"Thank you for your kindness, but you don't need to worry. I am happy where I am now."

You smile at one another. The kettles clicks off, you reluctantly let go of his hands, missing their warmth. You turn around to see to the tea.

"There really wasn't much else about you online. You're a mystery to me, Zemo."

He smiles.

"Makes me all the more interesting, yes?"

You laugh softly.

"I suppose it does."

You hand him one of the cups and you both go sit down. You face one another on the sofa, enjoying the tea you had made. You watched the way he closed his eyes and took a sip.

"This is very good."

"What can I say? I'm a professional," you joke.

"I believe you."

"So, the race." You smile, sitting up and leaning forward a little. Zemo laughed. It was sweet how excited you were about it, considering you hadn't had an interest before... well, before him.

"I can I take you to the race myself?" He asks, reading your face for a response.

"Take me? Isnt6that going to be a hassle? Going there, coming back, and then going back again?"

"I'll do it for you," he grins mischievously.

"You're doing it again."

"Doing what?" He asks.

"Flirting with me."

"Of course I am. You haven't told me to stop," he tells you.

You smile shyly at him. That was true.

"You should focus on your car, I'll be there. I promise."

He shakes his head subtly.

"Too late, I've made up my mind. I'll be here to pick you up the day before. You can stay with me over the weekend. Sound like a plan?"

You look at him, trying to see if this was just him teasing you, but you don't see anything like that. If anything, those beautiful brown eyes of his are almost pleading for you to agree.

"Alright."

His smile is so full of joy, your heart feels like it could burst. He looked so handsome smiling like that.

"Then I best be on my way. I have some thing to plan before the weekend." Zemo put his empty cup down and got up. You did the same and showed him to the door.

You see him out, but before he leaves your apartment completely, he leaves you with a kiss on the cheek. He doesn't say anything as he walks away.

You're left a smiling blushing mess.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @nectav @whovianayesha @thesuitkovian @cathrin2405 @deathtothepatriarchy @belle82devart @dxrksxul06 @killeromanoff @alex-the-nb @latenightartist-author @hb8301 @goddessofmischief03 @xxidontwikeitxx @themeanestlittlewitch @scuttle-buttle

[askthefuturegleeks]

How many apps did you want to set an acceptance?

Great question. I don't want to rush anyone and I want to make sure everyone that might be interested has had a chance to see this rp (I did only re-open this a day or two ago and there hasn't been much reason to keep your eyes out for new Glee rps), but I also don't want to make anyone wait too long. We have enough players to logistically get things up and running on the dash and there are plenty of opens left for others to app for, so I'm going to go ahead and set a flexible acceptance date of tonight. I'm going to make another post about this at 5m PST / 8pm EST  because that's about time for people to be getting off work so they'll have a chance to see this announcement, and I'll accept within an hour after that depending on any requests for holds that I get. Once I've made acceptance posts, you're all free to send in your blogs and we'll get started. If you're interested in plotting before that, I can make the ooc blog earlier than that so that we can all chat, because even if I haven't posted acceptances, we all know that I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that every single person that apps gets to be in this rp.

Can't get an app in before then? No worries. It's the middle of the work week and 8pm EST is midnight in GMT, I get it. Just send me a DM or message my inbox to let me know and I'll put that character on hold, which means I won't close that role and accept anyone for it until you get your app in.

As a reminder, I have apps for Blaine Anderson, Quinn Fabray, David Karofsky, Marley Rose, and Hunter Clarington. Given that news, I will be playing Sebastian Smythe.

[ghostly-march]

ok here’s my vent tysm for letting me vent .

ahh first, i'm glad you feel comfortable with sharing this with me, that's not always an easy thing to do. now for my response to the vent which i'll put under the cut since it's a bit long, i just wanted to respond to each one :)

i think that it's completely valid and understandable to have these fears and see where they come from. and i believe the best way to think about these fears is to think about it realistically because sometimes our minds make us believe in the absolute worst case scenarios or will exaggerate things.

with the first one about losing your friends on tumblr, oftentimes online friendships can be hard to keep because you may grow apart or become too busy to talk with each other, and that's alright!! i've had plenty of times where i became friends with someone on tumblr and then we ended up losing touch with each other (and that was probably two years ago). i think the thing is, you won't be able to keep every single friend you make on tumblr but what you can do is show them how much you care about them in this moment so that if you do end up losing them, whenever you see them on your dash or in your notifications, you'll smile at the memories rather than be sad about the loss :)

i think a similar thing applies with losing family/losing yourself. sometimes losing family members is going to be inevitable over time but just be sure to cherish the moments you have with them now so you can smile about them later :)) about losing yourself, i have definitely experienced this a few times and usually it's good to just step back from everything and talk to someone that you trust/are close with. talking with someone about all of this will definitely help with trying to find yourself again if you ever lose yourself.

with the something bad happening to your friends/family, it's normal to feel worried about that. it just means that you care about them. it think when your mind starts making up worst case scenarios and makes you anxious, it's always good to just take a breath and tell yourself that maybe they're just busy and think of realistic reasons as to why they haven't responded. it's something that i do all of the time whenever it takes a while for one of my friends to respond because everyone has their own life and sometimes life gets in the way of things so they're not able to respond as quick.

about the backstabbing, sometimes it's difficult to avoid it because some people may seem different than they actually are. i think taking your time with getting to know people will help you a lot with figuring out if you can trust them or not. for me, i tend to follow my gut and if it says that i can trust them or become friends with them, then i'll do just that.

the being annoying thing is also something that i am worry about a lot of the times. however, at least for me, constantly seeing you in my notifications makes me smile because it shows your support for my blog. i'm always open to interacting with others. if you're really worried about it, you can always ask blogs/other people if they're comfortable with it and what their boundaries are. i think you've been pretty good about asking about boundaries and all of that, so try not to worry too much about it!! :) although, i think a majority of the time, we often think that we're annoying but in reality, we aren't actually and the interactions are greatly appreciated.

then lastly, with the last fear, i can understand where it comes from however i will say that there is a relatively low chance of that actually happening. so i'd say just staying safe like travelling with a group of friends when you go outside and making sure you can contact emergency services just in case anything happens is the best thing you can do about that.

[laytonsartblog]

How To Solve Everything

Little Spaces - Ch.2

Ch.1, Ch.2, Ch.3

Warning: This story contains violence, gun related violence, gang related violence, starvation, hypothermia, dysfunctional family themes, dysfunctional domestic themes, poverty, and homophobia/transphobia. Read with caution and at a good time for you. Take care of yourself.

--

Logan has a schedule he dedicates his life to.

First, to wake up at five am.

Next, is to get in the shower without a bucket. Why without a bucket? Because he's damn rich.

Y'see, when you're one of the most successful people in the country of Loríses, running a multi-billion dollar corporation on affordable apartment living and clean energy resources and steady bank loan agreements, well... you can afford some time.

That, and clean water.

Once that's all done and good, Logan likes to relax and have a nice breakfast in his humble top-apartment as he watches the news from the table.

The time didn't really matter when he woke up or finished eating because he never booked (or more accurately put, was forced to book) a meeting or council accommodation or ribbon cutting or something before eleven am.

Breakfast was his only sanctity; he made sure to have plenty of it.

With the news and breakfast over, Logan would head out to work with his classic polo and tie with a briefcase in hand, then spend about eight hours basically running around heading between business meetings and stock readings and introductory openings and apartment gatherings and- well, you get the picture.

Without a hitch, Logan'd get home at around seven-thirty pm, have some sort of dinner out with colleagues he really didn't care for, and get home to either sleep or do his favorite kind of work; charity work.

In the charity work's case?; he wouldn't get a wink of rest.

Today, Logan woke up like he would any other day, perhaps a little later than he thought he would, but that was due to his one am adoption centre charity bidding auction last night.

When he went to check his phone for any messages from his secretary for the day, he found only two from the uptight woman:

You have the day off, Mr.Corbett.

Have a nice day.

Logan looked on in confusion.

I have the day off? Why? he texted back.

His secretary immediately responded with a simple,You haven't used your vacation days at all for the past year, Mr.Corbett. If you don't use them by the end of September, you lose them. I took liberty of letting you off for the next week.

Logan was about to fight back and tell her he's coming into work anyway, but he found she's a bit faster with her hands.

You need it, Logan.

Go visit that old lady down the street, in the bookshop. Her name is Mrs.Tamry. She's my mother's sister and owns the place. She could use some company today.

Logan groaned. He wasn't moving the stubborn woman and that meant he actually had to take care of himself. Woe is he.

Logan grumpily put the phone to his bedside table before face-planting onto his bed. He groaned some more, kicking his feet and punching his hands into the pillows. Perhaps childish, yes, but Logan was never really raised to do much else than work. He didn't know what else to do.

Logan remembered the Mrs.Tamry from his secretary's messages a few minutes after his tantrum and sighed as he flipped over on the bed, rolling out of it.

After a shower he went over to his closet and picked out something a little more casual- a flannel and finer jeans -before stuffing down some toast to head to this bookowner.

Logan would admit that the bookstore part of the old woman was interesting; he's loved being read to and reading stories ever since he could recount the ABC's. It was one of the few pastimes he could be shown doing in public: his public advisor had once told him it made him look both gentle and intelligent, and the ladies would love it. Logan had just told him that he didn't care about the ladies and continued on his way to his office.

Logan finally made his way to the shop. He rolled his eyes at the name: "Book-Ends and Seller's Beggining." It was charming, if not a little corny, and Logan wasn't sure if this was really worth his time, but then he saw the little old lady through the glass sitting by her lonesome and let out a breath of air.

Dammit. Why do I have to feel so guilty?

Logan pushed his way through the tall glass doors and looked his way around, noticing the high bookshelves and neat working stations. It seemed grandma kept up with the times as Logan noticed a small table with a few charging stations attached to it, and a couple of teens doing their homework while plugging their phones in nearby. A stack of laps for rent stood on a shelf near the station.

Logan heard the old woman laugh hoarsely behind him.

"Well, now I wasn't expecting such a dashing young man in my shop so early in the morning!" Mrs.Tamry teased, still laughing. She got up from her weaved rocking chair and instead shuffled her way over to a flustered Logan. "Got some good bone structure- although the hair could use some work. A working man, hmm?"

Logan stammered at the guiding, touching hands and expert eye. "Yes ma'am, I- I am a businessman," he squeaked out.

Logan was used to just saying nothing while out in public, or worse, hosting everything and never getting a break. Having this conversation, if not an awkward one, made him sweat bullets. It was unknown territory.

"A businessman, huh?" Mrs.Tamry sang. She looked him over a few more times, noting the sweaty palms and pale face, before hollaring over to the kids in the corner, "Does this man look familiar?"

The three in the corner; a smaller, but colorful child, a tall but scraggly young fellow, and a boy with a star for his shirt all turned their heads.

The colorful kid snickered. "Nah, he looks too nervous to be any big shot I've heard of," they chided.

"Yeah, and what would he be doing here of all places if he was?" the scraggly lad questioned.

"Hey, knock it off!" the boy in the star shirt huffed. "The guy's probably super sweet and here to pick something up for his wife where they'll read fairytales to their kids and it'll be really damn cute!"

The colorful child started laughing hard; so hard, in fact, that they started tearing up. The scraggly kid did the same. The star boy just crossed his arms, looking to Logan with a much more innocent view.

Logan was sweating so profusely he was afraid he was going to faint. Mrs.Tamry just watched with a crooked smile at their imaginations.

"I am right, huh? You're just a nice guy!" the star boy asked, leaning in. The other two troublemakers got themselves together enough to lean in too, giggling.

"Yeah, tell us! Who are you?"

Logan couldn't stop himself before he even knew what his brain and mouth were going to say.

"I-I'm gay."

Well that was certainly new.

Logan realized what he said and covered his mouth with his hand, shock covering his entire face. Oh now you've done it, he roared at himself, you've told three kids and an old lady you're a disgusting pansy!

But the yelling and the chastising and the kicking-him-out-of-the-store never came. The other children looked to him in absolute glee, and the old woman just snickered.

"So what, dude? I'm like... mega gay too," the boy in the star shirt joked. He easily smiled at Logan.

Logan couldn't tell if he was being encouraged, or if he was doing the encouraging to the boy.

The other two children looked between eachother before looking to Logan. "We're non-binary. We use they/them pronouns. Could you please use them?"

Logan just barely managed a nod, his nerves in overdrive. He just outed himself and now these brave kids were coming out to him too? It was a hell of a thing to wrap around his brain. "O-Of course I will," he managed through chattering teeth.

Logan turned to the old woman last. He expected her to throw him out at first, but now he realized that she knew all this time. Now he looked to Mrs.Tamry in fear. The fact she could figure something like that out so quick was something Logan wasn't prepared to deal with, shock after shock being ran into him in the past ten minutes.

"Young man, you realize that this establishment has a 'We Accept You' sticker on the front, right?" she giggled, patting his shoulder despite him being a tree and her a stump.

Logan looked back to the glass and saw a mirrored version of that sticker on the door; clear as day.

Logan slumped his shoulders. "Oh."

Mrs.Tamry took his shoulders and guided Logan over to a seat, sitting in the one next to him with a sigh. "Ooh, that feels much better on my back."

Logan just stared at her, sweating and shaking and why had I not fought my secretary on letting me work-

Mrs.Tamry clasped a hand on top of his fussing one and smiled gently. The wild side of her had been turned down, and now something much more sweet laid itself out to the scatterbrained gay.

Logan felt himself calm down just a little.

"Now now, I've been told by my niece that her boss was coming in today to spend his day off. I'm to assume that's you, right?" she gently asked. The hand on Logan's softly rubbed it's thumb against Logan's knuckles.

Logan calmed down just a little more.

His tongue managed to unstick itself from the roof of his mouth enough to let out a small, "yes."

He didn't know why he was so freaked. Usually when he got this nervous he'd just bury it down like he had been for the past thirty something years but in this place, it felt like no matter how hard he tried, he was forced to feel everything he was feeling. Logan did not like it.

Mrs.Tamry sighed and used her other hand to tap a gentle rhythm in Logan's arm, giving him something to hold on to.

"Y'know, I didn't expect such a good man like you to be holding back so much fear. I could feel it as you stepped through that door," Mrs.Tamry commented, trying to make small talk.

Logan avoided her eyes. "Well, I haven't got much of a place to let it out."

Mrs.Tamry kept the rhythm on his arm while she hummed.

"Well that simply isn't good!" she preached. "Tell you what, if you're feeling so scared and trembling like you are now, you can always come to me, y'hear?"

Logan nodded a little. He could feel himself slowly relax, coming down from being so flustered and flabbergasted.

New places, new conversations- in which he made actual conversations instead of one-sided invites -new people, new ideas, new everything! It made his brain go into overdrive and his nerves alight. Usually he was able to handle it, bury it deep for later, but here? It seemed he couldn't stuff the feelings down.

Maybe it was Mrs.Tamry's wild but motherly approach, or the bookstore's inviting nature, or the teens he talked to earlier, but either way, Logan just sighed.

He was okay. He was safe. He was okay.

Mrs.Tamry pulled Logan up and rubbed his back while she headed him in the direction of the laptops.

"Why don't you do yourself a favor and find a game to play or- or a messaging site to talk to someone!" Mrs.Tamry then giggled cheekily. "It seems you don't have many friends, so now's a time to start!"

Logan took a seat next to the three teens with an awkward smile and a wave as he opened up the laptop. It was a little out of style, but it seemed fine enough as Logan booted it up.

"We never got your name, sir," the star boy asked politely while Logan logged in.

"Yeah! Like for example I'm Joan and that's Talyn, and he's Thomas, so now you know us!" the newly named Joan called out, tipping their beanie like a celebrity.

Talyn nodded along, playing with their colorful hair. "Homework is getting boring, we wanna know you!"

Logan turned to the three kids with a reserved smile as he signed up for a messenger site called GetAlong.

"My name is Logan Corbett."

--

Taglist

@amazable01 @vara-albion @sonicrainicorn @artist-of-the-moon @sparkedawg @unnipanda623 @kiibo57415 @anxious-sunflowe @thatonenerdphotographer @romanthestarstruckqueer @angels-and-dreams @midokiya @nedandn30 @chaosboitm @felicianoromano @supersoftsupersleep @icequeenoriginal

[punkscowardschampions]

Amber & Cosmo

Amber: [Okay so OG he finds her in Dash's room obvs he's not there like lowkey ransacking it and then we started the convo after that of her being like I'm not a burglar or a bunny boiler just for your info] Cosmo: [we know you're just walking away 'cos could not care less about your brother and his ridiculous life] Amber: not a stalker but realise getting in your inbox to claim that is a defeat.... Cosmo: you're in the wrong room, if you are Amber: it's the right room to get my zip back, information you don't need to alibi me, but can have because it's the right thing to do too Cosmo: I don't care Cosmo: as long as you keep your haul limited to his room and his shit Amber: I'm only taking back what's mine, not a burglar either Amber: window entry was just flare Cosmo: and if you knocked, you wouldn't be let in Amber: you don't want a conventional first meeting or impression, I'm fine with that Cosmo: all cold callers say they ain't Cosmo: we haven't had the jehovas in for a cup of tea either Amber: I don't work in a call centre or leaflet for any organised religions Amber: yet Cosmo: dream big Cosmo: just need to organize them and their thoughts Amber: organisation isn't my forte but dreaming in any size Amber: that I can do Cosmo: you don't say Amber: do you have something you wanna say? Cosmo: Neither in your house nor your inbox so no Amber: relax, I won't be in your house much longer Cosmo: You're telling me to relax Cosmo: I could've called the police Cosmo: see what they reckon to not a burglar Amber: but you didn't and I'll be gone before they get here if you decide to now Amber: you know, passive aggression towards me is one thing, but threatening a real act of... Cosmo: I don't see how breaking and entering, actually doing so, is less than a threat Cosmo: but I haven't, and I'm not going to, but you can still leave as fast as if I have Amber: I'm not scary, you don't have to feel unsafe Cosmo: I'm not scared of you Amber: so you aren't under threat Amber: not like say, a non-white person against the police Cosmo: My property is Cosmo: and other people live here Amber: once I have my property back, I'll leave Amber: Dash's dirty laundry is a greater threat to me than I am to it Cosmo: if it's drugs, it'll be long gone Amber: not in this amount Amber: he won't have had time Amber: yet Cosmo: so you're a dealer Cosmo: chalk it up to a loss Cosmo: you aren't the only one he knows, nor the only girl he'd share with Amber: no, it's for personal use Amber: but that doesn't mean solely his personal use Cosmo: or yours Cosmo: if you don't make them pay, the lines are bound to get blurred Amber: it's a clear line, don't steal from me Cosmo: so is knocking and yet here you are Cosmo: hardly surprising he doesn't pay attention to rules either, is it Amber: next time, boy Cosmo: next time, I'll make sure I'm out Amber: so more like last time Cosmo: if you're that stupid, sure Amber: if you're gonna be this rude, I'll be sure to avoid you, yes Cosmo: I'm rude? He's the one that stole your shit to do with someone else Amber: he's rude too, does that make you feel better? Cosmo: you're here unapologetically and still, uninvited Cosmo: got no business telling me who's rude, especially when I'm well aware of what a cunt he is Amber: you surprised me! I haven't asked for an apology Amber: and he invited me in a few days ago, but if you'd like me to concede, I'll do it Amber: well aware I shouldn't be here Cosmo: you aren't getting an apology, why the hell do you think you deserve one Amber: because I was 😨😱 Amber: don't sneak up on girls you haven't even said hello to Cosmo: it's my house Cosmo: I weren't the one sneaking anywhere Amber: I'm not high, I know I don't live here Cosmo: That's a start Cosmo: good for you Amber: thanks Cosmo: 👍 Amber: your validation is such an unexpected bonus 🍒🍨 Cosmo: calm down Amber: has telling a girl what to do ever worked for you? Cosmo: how did telling me to relax work for you? Cosmo: apologies your race and sex cards haven't been winners Amber: I wasn't telling you to relax because I can't handle your emotions Amber: is the difference Cosmo: yeah, because that's relevant Amber: why isn't it? Amber: if you can't read my tone Cosmo: I don't want to handle your bullshit Cosmo: there's no difference Amber: and I don't want you to work yourself up over someone you haven't met and don't need to see again Amber: that's for your sake, not mine Amber: the key difference Cosmo: yeah, that's what you all say Cosmo: how considerate of you Amber: I can come through your windows without being some BIG BAD Cosmo: you think you get to decide that? Amber: no Amber: but I can decide to try and leave you with an impression that's less...THAT...can't I? Cosmo: you don't need to try for someone you haven't met and don't need to see again Cosmo: why would you Amber: oh so you get to decide about me AND who I try for, along with why Amber: that makes sense, thanks Cosmo: I'm pointing out your hypocrisy Cosmo: see what that pisses you off Cosmo: but there's no need, telling you that for your sake, not my own Amber: I'd like to meet you, there's the flaw in what you're trying to do Amber: you can keep pointing instead of shaking hands if you want to though Cosmo: Why Cosmo: we have nothing in common, that's obvious without doing more than looking Amber: why do we need to have anything in common to do more than look? Amber: it's just an introduction Cosmo: there's no point Cosmo: it's exchanging pleasantries that isn't going anywhere Cosmo: we've avoided that, it's a good thing Amber: cynic Amber: we could go somewhere together Cosmo: doing labels now, are we Amber: you have been since you 👀 Cosmo: I've not called you shit Cosmo: but a dealer, which was evidence based Amber: I'm not gonna pretend I don't feel your digs at me Cosmo: I'm not your kind of person, you ain't mine Cosmo: no need to get upset about it Amber: what is my kind of person? Amber: that's a really strange thing to say Cosmo: my brother etc Cosmo: why is that strange? Amber: because it is Amber: I've slept with him once, so I see why you would go there, but I've also set foot outside of the commune Cosmo: you still prefer the people who live there, don't you Amber: I like plenty of people who live there, I like plenty of people I go to school with too Cosmo: copout Amber: if you desperately need me to admit there's plenty of idiots who live there, I can, that's true Cosmo: don't need you to do anything Amber: then why are you like this? Cosmo: excuse me Amber: if you don't need anything from me, like to go away as an obvious guess, you should be fine to talk to me Amber: but you're not so Amber: I'm just asking Cosmo: because, as we've already discussed, there's no point talking Amber: okay, stop Cosmo: I'm not doing anything Amber: you're replying to me, if you don't want to, stop Cosmo: have you gone Amber: no Cosmo: fucking hell Amber: you could help me look Cosmo: I could Cosmo: but I'm telling you, it's gone Cosmo: [showing up and standing in the doorway like 😒] Amber: [just casually jumping out of her skin when she realises he's there unannounced because not expecting him to actually come] Cosmo: [making a move forward 'cos not trying to scare her or be that kind of dick but like, what can you say or do so moving back almost as quick, looking around Dash's room in disgust casually] Amber: [loling but at herself not him obviously and continuing to look even though you know he's right and it is not likely to be here] Cosmo: [leaning against the door frame 'cos tall and folding your arms 'you should just take something of his and make it even'] Amber: [looking at him and then around the room like what though] Cosmo: [shrugs like it's all shit to me, there must be something you want though] Amber: [doing a pouty face like you're meant to be helping me because lbr there's nothing she wants] Cosmo: [reluctantly steps in and sighs like right, let's see 'how much was it worth, roughly?'] Amber: ['I didn't buy it, my dad did' her own sigh 'he's gonna be upset with me' aggressively keeps searching] Cosmo: ['say he stole it, then he can be upset with him' like duh but also, don't freak out] Amber: ['that's fine until your brother thinks he's upset with him because he didn't call me back or whatever outdated notion he thinks my dad thinks in'] Cosmo: [shakes his head like 🙄] Amber: [goes to sit on the window ledge like I'll just leave] Cosmo: [goes in his pocket to get his wallet like, how much 'some of his clothes that aren't trashed are pretty expensive'] Amber: [such an offended look like you better not offer me cash rn boy but looking through his wardrobe halfheartedly because you are annoyed and forlorn that Dash would be a dick like this] Amber: [I like to imagine an avalanche of shit falls out and nearly kills her lol so that stops that] Cosmo: [an amused lol 'not much point trashing the place' kicking some pile of trash over like, he'll never notice] Amber: ['I should've come in a maid outfit, you'd have let me in' oh the double meaning there gal] Cosmo: [a look like did you just 'can't afford to give you that much, sorry' and another shrug] Amber: [looks him up and down like your clothes look expensive too and softly tuts but then lols because we're not serious obvs] Cosmo: ['what?' like what are you looking at, what are you laughing at, either way we're uncomfortable] Amber: [shakes her head but not in a 🙄 way just like genuinely don't worry about it] Cosmo: ['what will your dad do?'] Amber: [does her best impression of a disappointed hippie dad] Cosmo: ['you'll live then' quiet 'cos dad disappointment is no joke here] Amber: ['harmless is his entire vibe, for sure' because it is 'I'm here for me' but shrugs like I guess I'll have to give up though] Cosmo: ['you like him, do you?'] Amber: ['my dad?' a confused look like obviously I love him what do you mean] Cosmo: ['no' and looks around the room like this dickhead, clearly] Amber: [a laugh like oh okay 'not any more'] Cosmo: [tuts 'you laugh a lot'] Amber: ['is that a crime too?' but said in an amused way] Cosmo: [shakes head 'just weird' but does a half-smile at her] Amber: [fully smiles back at him like he's given her a compliment and goes downstairs to get herself some juice or something because forever making ourselves at home/treating this place like a hotel in the spirit of the OG convo] Cosmo: rude not to say goodbye Amber: it's not, I'm coming back Cosmo: what do you mean Amber: I'm not saying goodbye when I haven't left Amber: yet Cosmo: what are you doing Amber: [a photo of the inside of the fridge] Amber: do you want a drink too? Cosmo: do you always make yourself at home like this Amber: do you mind? Cosmo: bit late if I did Amber: but I can leave my glass here, walk back up and you can retrace my steps to bring it to me if you do Cosmo: I owe you hospitality? Cosmo: nah Amber: are you going to answer my question or just your own? Cosmo: I did Cosmo: you've got your drink now Cosmo: enjoy it Amber: would you like one or not, because you didn't tell me that Cosmo: I'm fine Amber: [enough time to have drank her juice shelby, wash and dry the glass and put it away and then she's back] Cosmo: [just looking at her like what the fuck but not saying anything] Amber: [just looking at him like what excuse me for being thirsty sir] Cosmo: [shaking his head like never mind 'cos not getting into that again 'what are you gonna do then?'] Amber: [shaking her head back like idk 'go home'] Cosmo: ['you can leave through the door, like' like you didn't need to come back up then 'thought you were gonna fuck up his shit or something' and shrugs like why did you then] Amber: ['you wanted a goodbye first' mirrors his shrug but is smiling and not in a mard, pushes one of his skateboards along the floor and it doesn't move cos there's so much shit everywhere like I think he's trashed this room/his stuff enough tbh] Cosmo: [😳😒 'I didn't WANT anything' puts his feet on top of it like he's gonna jump and break it 'twat' but said under his breath not to her] Amber: ['well I don't want you to think I'm rude' looks around like why does he have so many skateboards when he literally only needs one] Cosmo: [looks at what she's looking at and shrugs 'dad went through a buying-our-love phase and he was only too happy to take advantage of it, of course' picks one up and spins the wheels 'these are custom, you know' and rolls his eyes with the wheels like, why even] Amber: ['what did you get?' because genuinely curious, then has a ponder about what he's just said 'I don't think I can carry all of these even if I use the door to leave' because thinking she's gonna have to take every skateboard away lol] Cosmo: [does not reply, looking 'round the room with more vigor 'there's a special screwdriver for it, somewhere in here'] Amber: [googles what it looks like so she knows and then takes however long to find it and holds it up triumphantly with a mischievous face on] Cosmo: [smiles back like that's the one] Amber: [tries to do it but clearly is struggling so gotta hand over the tool and the task even if you are adorably pouty about it] Cosmo: [not at all smugly taking all these wheels off and throwing them at her] Amber: [😠 like can you not throw shit at me please but also because of how effortlessly he's doing it when she could not again looking adorable though soz gal] Cosmo: [doing an awh face at her] Amber: [throwing something from Dash's floor at him because she's not a chill hippie stereotype soz parentals] Cosmo: [probably catching it, damn reflexes] Amber: [when you're more impressed than you are fuming now like okay boy damn are you a superhero] Cosmo: [shrugs 'football'] Amber: ['you're the one who stops everyone else having fun' like it makes sense why he's so grumpy, not really what a goalkeeper is babe but go off] Cosmo: [a look like you what 'cos does not get it, then when he gets it shaking his head like oh, but no 'not the only one that needs decent reflexes though'] Amber: [🤔 face 'are you the scorer?' we out here knowing all the football terminology bye] Cosmo: [lols a bit but not harshly like omg you don't know 'cos not that dick, just amused, but go off about this nerdy football jargon I simply do not understand, pretty sure you were some variation of centre-forward which can be striker, can be attacking midfielder, whatever, and his shirt number was 9] Amber: [asking questions because you're interested and like learning new shit which makes her the anti wag, we're having a lovely time] Cosmo: [The No.9 is usually given to a football team's centre forward or main striker, a prolific goalscorer in any given formation, especially the likes of 4-3-3, 4-2-2 or 4-2-3-1. Purely putting this here so I might remember lmao but yes, have a convo with someone who ain't your dad/squad mates] Amber: [she's literally forgotten why she's even here, hotel california not cos you can't leave but because you don't wanna gal] Cosmo: [finding Dash's most expensive t-shirt or hoodie or whatever and putting all the wheels in it like a makeshift bag for her, flinging the boards out the still opened window like job done there then] Amber: ['what should I do with these?' again a genuine question 'other than stringing one onto a necklace' because we know her aesthetic and I remember she literally left one for him after this OG so I'll have to find that and look] Cosmo: ['juggle?' 'cos truly, what can you do with them 'could make a treasure hunt for him, but then he'll know you're upset with him and it'll be the dad situation all over again' ] Amber: [does try juggling with them and isn't terrible but isn't like circus ready lol 'I'll make it for you, you'd love finding one in your football shoe, wouldn't you?' smiling because plays into the stalker thing but also is just a fun mental image] Cosmo: ['leave it out' but in an amused way, not actually terrified lol] Amber: ['but if I attach them to the bottom, you could rollerskate after the ball' imagine please lol] Cosmo: ['just slow me down' #flex but like 'don't actually fuck with my boots, tah'] Amber: [a face like yeah okay boy but we're #into the flex really 'okay, fine, wouldn't wanna be rude' gathering all your shit together 'time to check out' because hotel refs needed] Cosmo: [just looking up like oh, okay, 'cos this has been surreal af] Amber: [kissing him on the cheek as a thank you and a goodbye] Amber: [sends him a series of pictures of his name spelled out in skateboard wheels like each letter in different locations, not knowing he doesn't fuck with his name heavily] Cosmo: marks and validation for creativity, stalker Cosmo: but no one calls me that, you'd know that if you were a good one Amber: what do they call you? 🚀🪐💫⭐️ Cosmo: Haynes Cosmo: or 9 Amber: because you've got that many lives? Cosmo: shirt number Cosmo: but I'll take that favourable comparison Amber: if I had a bedroom I'd let you in through the window 😼 boy Cosmo: where do you sleep? Cosmo: or get any privacy, for that matter Amber: privacy for what? Amber: I like the hammocks when those are free Cosmo: what do you think you need privacy for Amber: if you're talking about sex, you know the answer Amber: I wasn't visiting your house to talk about the bible, remember Cosmo: I weren't Amber: no mothers have any time alone in the bathroom and they survive 9️⃣ Cosmo: there's reason most people don't live like that Cosmo: and a reason cults do Cosmo: you've got fuck all time to yourself and your own thoughts Amber: do you only have time to yourself on the 🚽? Cosmo: no, 'cos I've got a room, and a bed that's my own Amber: they don't like, put trackers under our skin, I can go wherever I want Amber: if I'd enjoy some privacy for whatever reason Cosmo: that's sad Amber: why are you sad about it? Cosmo: that's the bare minimum a home is meant to be Amber: it's a safe place, there's food, running water, warmth Amber: plenty of homes are overcrowded Amber: if I had brothers and sisters taking up the space you wouldn't think that was 👽 Cosmo: don't tell me what I'd think Cosmo: 'cos yeah, that is weird as well Amber: I understand not wanting to share a room with Dash Cosmo: funny Amber: have you ever had to? Cosmo: I get that you're like obsessed with him Cosmo: but ask him Cosmo: I don't want to talk about him Amber: I was asking a question, about you, he would've just happened to be there Cosmo: why does it matter? Amber: why do you have to fiercely guard something you don't think matters? Amber: it's 'normal' for me to have never had my own room and it's 'normal' for you to have your own Cosmo: yeah, and my normal actually is Amber: ⭐ Cosmo: whatever Cosmo: go talk to him Amber: my dad's a teacher, you can have a sheet of them if you want Cosmo: I'm alright, thanks Amber: can I come and watch you play? Cosmo: why would you want to Amber: because you don't want to talk to me and it's a way we won't have to but I still get to get to know you Amber: and it'd be fun, I assume Cosmo: I've been a dick to you this whole time Cosmo: you should up your standards Amber: so no, I can't 👀⚽? Amber: unfriendly Cosmo: nice pun Cosmo: I can't stop you coming to a match Cosmo: but only girlfriends come to practice and the coaches hate that anyway Amber: but if you don't want me holding up a piece of cardboard cut into the shape of a 9 then I won't Amber: makes sense why you wouldn't if your girlfriend is gonna be there Cosmo: you just want an excuse to do some arts and crafts, I get it Cosmo: don't have one currently so no Amber: I would like something to do, thanks for offering Cosmo: what, they let you get bored, do they Amber: it's not summer camp Amber: just because I have to sleep outside Cosmo: thought you had shelter Cosmo: sleeping outside in this country is fucking abuse, like Amber: I don't always want to share a bed, please don't report me to my hippie overlords Amber: but you know, there's this technique called layering, it probably isn't aerodynamic enough for you to have heard of it... Cosmo: bollocks layering you're homeless Amber: I have an address any time you wanna send me 💌 Cosmo: be serious Cosmo: that's a shit state of affairs Amber: it's not my fave or my least fave Cosmo: why'd you tell me this Amber: you asked me where I sleep Cosmo: I've got enough to stress on Amber: you don't need to include me in whatever is stressing you out, okay? Amber: I'm fine, most days good Cosmo: I ain't like him, alright Cosmo: I don't reckon anything about the way you live is cool or even alright Amber: it isn't always cool but I doubt the way you live always is either Amber: my parents are happy here, I'm not unhappy enough here to leave yet Cosmo: what about how I live wouldn't be cool Amber: I don't know Amber: I don't know your life Cosmo: yeah, you don't Amber: you can have an apology if you'll take it Cosmo: I'm just not looking for any more worry Amber: I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry Amber: there's 9 if I can count Cosmo: it's fine Cosmo: you seem nice Cosmo: you really shouldn't go around with my brother Amber: I'm not giving him any more chances, bad sex is one thing but bad manners... Cosmo: 😂 Cosmo: Swear, we were actually raised to have some of the latter Cosmo: I just Cosmo: dunno, with you Amber: I'm just a girl, you've been around those before, haven't you? Cosmo: piss off Cosmo: 'course I have Amber: so you don't have to worry Cosmo: sounds convincing, stalker Amber: how else would you like me to do it when you don't want me around? Cosmo: are you offended? Amber: no, I just don't know what I've done wrong Amber: it wasn't even your window Amber: or any of your stuff Cosmo: I don't like him Cosmo: I thought you were friends with him, so I didn't like you Cosmo: but if you ain't, I guess you can be alright Amber: I thought he was my friend too but I don't treat mine like that Cosmo: sorry Cosmo: he's a prick Amber: not your sorry to hand out but thanks Amber: I feel kinda stupid Cosmo: I wouldn't bother Cosmo: he chats like he's nice, does it with everyone Cosmo: but he's selfish, so he'll always put himself first even when he chats like you're mates or whatever else bollocks Amber: everyone chats like he's something but he's really something else Amber: and I fell for it 🥤 Cosmo: 🙄 Cosmo: he chats like he's something Amber: that too Cosmo: fuck him Cosmo: his loss, yeah Amber: I did and it was my loss Amber: he enjoyed himself Cosmo: don't Amber: no more details, but I don't want you to think I'm bad at it Cosmo: I don't wanna hear about my brother's sex life, you mean Amber: I'm stopping Amber: you don't have to hear about it Cosmo: 👌 Amber: [sends him a picture of wheels spelling out that emoji as best she can] Amber: I had some left Cosmo: steal a ⭐ Amber: [picture of it on her face however much later when she's back] Cosmo: cute Cosmo: does your dad teach at your school or what? Amber: he teaches everyone here who doesn't go to school Cosmo: ahh Cosmo: but you do Cosmo: you go to the same school as Dash? Amber: yes Cosmo: oof Cosmo: unlucky Amber: we're not in the same year, I have that much luck Cosmo: that is something Cosmo: he probably don't show much Amber: what's your school like? because I'm picturing the hunger games but with ⚽ Cosmo: only if you don't keep up with your work and footie Cosmo: not gonna get 💀 otherwise Cosmo: it's good Amber: how did you get in? Cosmo: you get spotted, then you do trials Amber: when you're a kid? Cosmo: the school is normal high school ages Cosmo: but younger the better in terms of getting on a team, getting your skills out there and seen Amber: how old were you? Cosmo: my dad played Cosmo: so soon as I could kick a ball and not fall over it, like Amber: so you don't want me to come and watch you because your dad will be there? Cosmo: I don't not want you to come Cosmo: just don't think you'd enjoy it Amber: why? Cosmo: it's 90 minutes, you know Amber: I'm not a goldfish Cosmo: I'm not saying that Amber: I think I liked it better when you called me a dealer over a useless stoner Cosmo: Come on Cosmo: I meant, all the girls get bored Cosmo: but you aren't going to like that either, are you Amber: are you 'not like other girls' ing me or calling me an over enthusiastic 🤓 now? I can't tell Cosmo: maybe you are a nerd Cosmo: wouldn't chess be more your scene? Amber: I'm not that ravenclaw Cosmo: definitely a massive 🤓 Amber: is your tone being endearing or unfriendly? Cosmo: I'm taking the piss Cosmo: not in a totally unfriendly manner Amber: slytherin energy Cosmo: oi Cosmo: they're the villains, that IS rude Amber: in the films because they were worried about attention spans too Cosmo: it's not an attention issue stopping me reading, however many books there was Cosmo: it's time Amber: not a big reader either Amber: we have something in common! Cosmo: sounds fake, nerd Cosmo: what do you like doing? Amber: the first things that came to mind were swimming and dancing, which makes me sound like I'm 9 Cosmo: not at all Cosmo: though it's pretty 'not like other girls' of you to not reply 📱🛍💅 or have no answer at all Amber: is it? Cosmo: girls I know, anyway Cosmo: not that that's my top chat-up line or anything Amber: well now you have to give me your top chat up line Cosmo: 😂 Amber: please! Cosmo: nah, not going to work outside of a club Cosmo: cold light of day or whatever Amber: I thought the whole appeal of clubs was supposed to be not being able to hold a conversation over the music Amber: not that I'm speaking from experience Cosmo: you don't do clubs? Cosmo: but precisely, loses its charm if you can actually hear the words Amber: I haven't yet Cosmo: you like dancing Amber: nobody from school has asked me Amber: probably because we live in the middle of nowhere Cosmo: cost a fortune in cabs Cosmo: you wanna go? Amber: if it means I get to hear the chat up line Amber: but seriously, yes, I do Cosmo: alright Cosmo: I'll take you Cosmo: as you like dancing so much Amber: 🙃 Amber: when? Cosmo: Saturday? Amber: isn't Sunday like THE day for football and church though? Amber: that sounds like something I've heard before Cosmo: yeah, that's right Cosmo: but I can handle it, not gonna get off my face if I'm escorting you, am I Amber: I'm not one of those girls Amber: you don't have to look after me Cosmo: it's not because you're a girl Cosmo: it's 'cos it's your first time Amber: those manners you mentioned being brought up to have Amber: it's nice to see them 👋 Cosmo: told ya Amber: when I invite myself over again I'll let your mama know she did a good job Cosmo: you want the stalker title back over nerd, yeah? Amber: I do have a name you could use, sometimes Cosmo: you go by yours then Cosmo: noted Amber: I'm the only Amber here, that's a good reason to Cosmo: nice one mum and dad Amber: maybe if they'd named me Acorn or Soleil or whatever I'd be more ✌☮💙🕊 Amber: I don't know Cosmo: If people suited their names, me and my brother would have to swap Amber: which one of your parents chose? Cosmo: mum Cosmo: I mean, sure it was a mutual decision at the time, but still Amber: same, my dad would've leaned more into the ✌☮💙🕊 vibe Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: still, you fit in enough without standing out loads everywhere else Cosmo: it's a good name, far as they go Amber: thanks, I'll tell her Cosmo: she as buzzing off validation as you Amber: no, that's my ⭐ Cosmo: she did marry a teacher Amber: her boyfriend looks after 👵👴 Amber: it could be a pattern Cosmo: sound like a self-help book now Amber: she'd get a kick out of that Amber: workshops are her thing Cosmo: I can imagine Amber: you can leave it at that, I won't extend an invitation even though IOU Cosmo: yeah, that's for the best all 'round Cosmo: you can cancel that debt Amber: unfriendly or gentlemanly? Cosmo: neither Cosmo: I don't reckon you've got any invite that I'd be interested in Amber: 😠 Cosmo: what's that face for? Amber: you throwing those manners out of the window and being rude again Cosmo: just realistic Cosmo: I don't fancy a workshop or jam sesh or whatever else Cosmo: not that kinda lad Amber: cynical Cosmo: you gonna waste time proving me otherwise? Amber: if you don't show me up on Saturday, maybe Cosmo: 😏 Amber: can you even dance? Cosmo: of course I can Cosmo: I'm not the one who's never been, I go all the time Amber: okay, I'm not asking you to prove yourself, even though it wouldn't be a waste of time Cosmo: you used to boys jumping when you say Amber: is that what it sounds like? Cosmo: what you look like Amber: you think I look like I could get boys to do whatever I want? Amber: like I'm so intimidating Cosmo: 😂 Cosmo: yeah your 😠 face is frightening Amber: 😂 Cosmo: yeah, you know Amber: I know you're not scared of me, you made sure I was told early on Cosmo: do you want to scare me? Amber: of course not Amber: why would I want to? Cosmo: I don't know Cosmo: some people go in for intimidating, don't they Amber: I really wanna 👀 into your 🌍 when you say things like that, 9 Amber: I guess it works for footballers Cosmo: called attack for a reason Cosmo: but anyone Cosmo: it's a good defense, oddly enough Amber: you don't have to defend yourself against me though so Cosmo: we're talking about you, remember Amber: I'm not in the habit of attacking anyone, using violence to resolve our conflicts is 😠 upon Amber: are you trying to get me kicked out of the hippie homestead? Cosmo: that'd be a kindness too far Cosmo: let's start with the club, yeah Amber: don't be getting me kicked out of there, please! Cosmo: best behaviour, remember Cosmo: leave your stash at home, dealer Amber: we didn't find it at yours and there's a chance I won't be able to 👀 over the bar Amber: a best behaviour guarantee until you trust me Cosmo: you are well short Cosmo: you'll still get served though Amber: I'll dress to impress whoever is on the door, since they probably do go in for intimidation, I imagine Cosmo: won't be hard Amber: no? Cosmo: 'course not Cosmo: when you're as short as you, don't need to be as tall as me to look directly down your top, like Amber: there isn't much to see, are you sure they'll let me in? Cosmo: I'm sure Amber: 🙂 Cosmo: you do know the dresscode, I assume Amber: barely any clothes is the impression you've given me Cosmo: You don't have to go that hard Cosmo: but smart casual probably excludes the properly hippie stuff Amber: I'll 🛍💅 Amber: like a 'normal' girl Cosmo: normal ain't overrated? Amber: I don't know Cosmo: first time trying that out too? Amber: my normal is all this Amber: sometimes I wish it wasn't, sometimes I don't Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: well, lemme know how it goes Amber: what? 🛍💅? Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: new normal, whatever Amber: you can come if you like Cosmo: that's alright Cosmo: I can already pass dresscode Amber: I meant to help me Cosmo: they have girls in shops for that Cosmo: I wouldn't be no help Amber: and I have school friends for that, but it'd be more fun with you Amber: and more help, because they'll just  🛍 for themselves Cosmo: I guess we could go Cosmo: Saturday as well Cosmo: I train 'til 2 but should have some time before I go gym at 4 Amber: one shop for 👗 and another for 💅 I promise Cosmo: what about 👠s? Amber: oh Amber: you're right Amber: this is why I need you Cosmo: can't be barefoot Cosmo: with all the others in stilettos, be a real safety hazard Amber: not at the start of the night anyway Cosmo: I'm not carrying you Cosmo: no matter how small you are Amber: you wouldn't have to go to the gym for as long if you did Amber: creative workout Cosmo: I probably lift double you Amber: is that one of your chat up lines? Cosmo: 😏 no Cosmo: girls hate gym chat Cosmo: unless they bring it up, but that's a specific type of girl Amber: so when I get to the club I shouldn't talk about how flexible I am? Amber: no yoga talk Cosmo: I'm sure that'd go down a treat Cosmo: I don't need to fight off creeps though Amber: you won't have to, my 😠 face is SCARY Cosmo: terrifying Cosmo: not as scary as my coach if I get injured Amber: best behaviour, boy Cosmo: yeah, you better Amber: you'll see 👼🏽 Cosmo: it is believing Amber: 🏋🏽📸 please Cosmo: you wanna see how much I can lift? Amber: yes Cosmo: alright Cosmo: not like I'll be the only twat with their camera out, like Amber: 🤳🏽💪🏽 Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: 🤳🏽🍑 if you're a girl Amber: I won't be sending those to your inbox, don't worry Cosmo: shame Amber: your coach doesn't want you getting injured Cosmo: wouldn't look and lift Amber: I'll keep it in mind Cosmo: just more jokes Cosmo: don't worry Amber: shame Cosmo: touche Amber: what are you actually doing right now though? 🏋🏽? Cosmo: got stuff to do at home Cosmo: you? Amber: cryptic Amber: but me too Cosmo: you know, this and that Amber: 🍏🍎 and 🍊🍊 Cosmo: what are you doing then? Amber: chasing chickens Amber: they've escaped Cosmo: 😂 Cosmo: of course Amber: cardio Amber: how many chickens could you lift? Cosmo: that's a question of claws, not lbs Cosmo: wouldn't look very good if I got all scratched up Amber: you could tell your teammates it was my fault, without going into the 🐓 details Amber: that would look better Cosmo: you think that's how it is Cosmo: locker room talk, like Amber: isn't it? Cosmo: I couldn't possibly comment Amber: that says something in itself Cosmo: basic stuff Cosmo: got to work as a team Cosmo: snitches get stitches Amber: but I'm the one in a cult Cosmo: teams have contracts Cosmo: literally know what I signed up for, and I'll join another one or sign back up when I'm done Amber: I don't have to give them my first born 👶🏽 Amber: your dad sacrificed you to ⚽ Cosmo: and yours didn't to their bullshit agenda? Amber: what agenda? Cosmo: I can't be bothered with this Amber: with what? Cosmo: this discussion Amber: there is no discussion because you shut it down Cosmo: because we've had it Amber: fine Cosmo: you don't know shit about my dad and I don't know shit about yours Cosmo: let's keep it that way Amber: if that's what you want Cosmo: why wouldn't it be Amber: never mind Cosmo: 👌 Cosmo: later then Amber: bye Amber: [we should say the necklace moment is after this but before clubbing because it works as a sorry/peace offering as well as a thanks/miss you/love you now so] Cosmo: you'll have to tell me your address Cosmo: for the 💌 Amber: [does] Cosmo: if my brother could be trusted with anything Cosmo: be able to pop it through the nearest open window but Amber: if we were at Hogwarts 🦉 Cosmo: thought you were a raven? Amber: owls deliver the post and it's a 🦅 Cosmo: I'll do my best to remember, nerd Amber: 😛 Cosmo: where'd you get this Cosmo: the necklace, I mean Amber: you can't buy me another one if that's why you're asking Cosmo: it isn't Cosmo: you should keep it, if it's special though Amber: I want you to have it Cosmo: thank you, then Amber: you don't have to wear it if you don't want to Amber: I won't be offended Cosmo: I like it Cosmo: can't wear nothing when I play though, not that big anyway Cosmo: turn your gift into a bit of a crap one if I get throttled with it Amber: hunger games, I called it Cosmo: be a bit of an obvious foul but some lads have no self-control, like Amber: that'd be a good chat up line, something about how good yours is Amber: make a girl feel special when you give in Cosmo: ha Cosmo: you wanna be my wingwoman or something? Amber: do you need one? Cosmo: I do alright Amber: I don't think I'll have to 👀 that to believe it Amber: I've seen you Cosmo: is that a compliment? Amber: yes Cosmo: I'm not like that, you know Amber: I know now Cosmo: I mean, I'm not one of the ones that keeps score and is competitive about it Cosmo: and we're not all like that Amber: I didn't picture you like that, don't worry Cosmo: good Amber: 🙂 Cosmo: 🙃? Amber: I'm the right way up because I'm in the know Amber: why are you upside down? Cosmo: maybe I'm doing pull-ups Amber: without me on top of you, they must be so easy Cosmo: you're thinking of push-ups Amber: oh Amber: wrapped around you then Cosmo: Amber Amber: is that still not what a pull up is? Cosmo: no, you got it Amber: you must think I'm like such an idiot sometimes Amber: or an 👽 Cosmo: I don't Cosmo: I didn't know about the birds Amber: you haven't got time to immerse yourself in a fictional 🌍 about 🐍🦅🦡🦁 Amber: you're a ⚽⭐ Cosmo: you're a different kind of ⭐ Cosmo: I've seen the 📸 proof Amber: you're being nice to me, you must like the necklace Amber: now I know bribery is the way forward, I'll get the first round in on Saturday Cosmo: Bribery always works, don't it Amber: but it probably wouldn't if I offered you 🥚 or 🍎🍏🍊 Cosmo: you got the chickens back then Amber: I'm not telling you again how flexible I am, boy Cosmo: be a bit of a brag if you keep going on about it Cosmo: must be fast, too Amber: compared to all these lazy boys and girls in long skirts, sure Amber: I don't think I'd win a race against you though Cosmo: just don't be coming for my spot on the team Amber: you'd have to train me first, I assume you'd notice the ploy before it happened Cosmo: not a 🦅 Cosmo: but not that thick either Amber: slytherins are really intelligent, everyone knows that Amber: you should get the audiobooks for the gym Cosmo: I'm still hoping for Gryffindor Cosmo: only got your word on how evil I am 😏 Amber: that's your brother, you don't wanna be in the same house as him Cosmo: sure, he gets to be the hero Cosmo: 🙄 Amber: he gets to be a reckless idiot Amber: [sends him the pottermore link to be sorted like a nerd] Cosmo: now this is a cult Amber: you aren't wrong this time Cosmo: I know, you've been well passionate about this stuff Amber: I finished the last book not long ago, it's fresh in my mind Cosmo: how often do you think anyone's reading the bible start to finish Amber: never? Cosmo: exactly Amber: don't they just pick the parts out they like Cosmo: they study it allegedly Amber: I'd rather you take me to go swim instead Cosmo: would you now Amber: if we're planning our next activity Cosmo: it is your other favourite thing, I remembered Amber: then we can yours Amber: do* Cosmo: nice try Cosmo: not training you Amber: I don't believe football is your only fave thing Cosmo: 👀 is Cosmo: my socials and actual life suggest otherwise Amber: fine, what's your fave food? Amber: I'll make it Cosmo: [some healthy protein bullshit that would not be anyone's favourite really] Amber: [is gonna invite herself over and make a swag meal out of it 100% though] Amber: free up some more time for me Amber: I'll be waiting for the 💌 Cosmo: alright Cosmo: is gonna be a decent run to yours so thanks for that Amber: you don't want me knocking on your door? Amber: I've been highlighting the best 🐍 quotes to preach at you and everything Cosmo: You've done your homework Cosmo: I'm impressed Cosmo: but not a gift if I don't hand-deliver it like you did Amber: warn me before you climb into my hammock Cosmo: not going to deprive you of your favourite spot Amber: someone else could've, that's more what I was thinking Amber: for your sake, not mine Cosmo: not planning on coming in, you're alright Amber: I'm not gonna let them kidnap you, you'll be okay Cosmo: I feel so much safer now I've got 😠 on side Amber: you know you can't be gryffindor and hide behind me Cosmo: good thing I was joking Amber: 🙃 Cosmo: do you do boyfriends or what Amber: sometimes Amber: if we're staying in one place for a while Cosmo: how long have you lived here Amber: 🤔 7 months in like a week Amber: it'd be cooler if it was 9 when we met so I may have to start lying Cosmo: probably isn't very ✌&❤ of you but I won't tell Amber: how long have you lived here? Cosmo: forever Amber: then you've gotta have a fave place you can take me to! Amber: I will fight you if you say it's the gym Cosmo: wouldn't want that 😂 Cosmo: I don't know Cosmo: give me time to think Amber: I'm fine with you sending an owl but no 🐍 please Cosmo: 🦁? Amber: I don't know the etiquette of them coming to tea, it's always tigers Amber: but I wouldn't be popular with the rest of the animals here Cosmo: rude but realistic way to describe your housemates? Amber: 😂 Amber: when I do sleep outside so I guess the 🐓🐄🐎🐖🐏🐑🦙🐐 kinda are my roommates Cosmo: my dad just got a puppy Amber: 📸? Cosmo: [insta that's clearly the dad's gf] Amber: 🥰 Cosmo: yeah, pretty cute Amber: I'm mad you're so law abiding honestly Amber: really wanna steal it Cosmo: how'd you work that one out? Amber: I've never met anyone as hung up about a girl coming through an open window Cosmo: 🙄 Amber: if you wanna say it was because it was me ⭐ I'm fine with that, obviously Cosmo: it's not about you Cosmo: 💔 I know Amber: you could've lied to give me a compliment! Amber: [adorable pouty selfie] Cosmo: stop it Amber: [another one like no I shan't] Cosmo: 😒 Amber: you're not gonna show me your real face? Cosmo: [his own pouty selfie back] Amber: you should do that when the referee is being rude, I think it would work Cosmo: missed that scandal Cosmo: worse luck Amber: those would be prying questions, being a ravenclaw 🤓 wouldn't be an excuse to go that hard Cosmo: it was in the 🗞s Cosmo: it was a coach though, and before my time Amber: I'm not a journalist looking for a scoop, promise Cosmo: what are you looking for? Amber: 🥧 but there were none cooling on your windowsills Cosmo: sorry to disappoint Amber: you didn't Amber: everything turned around Cosmo: you were just glad it weren't Dash Amber: at first Cosmo: that makes two of us Amber: you were helpful, I'm gladder about that Cosmo: you're welcome Amber: I know, I'll be back Cosmo: alright Arnie Amber: I wouldn't be a good stalker if I just left Cosmo: I won't say I've had better Cosmo: you'll 🥺 again Amber: no I won't Amber: you like it too much Cosmo: psh Cosmo: piss off Amber: 👀👆 you're not getting me away from your windows that easily Cosmo: ugh Amber: how many have you had? Cosmo: stalkers? Cosmo: just a few Amber: and out of the few, who's better than me? Cosmo: you aren't stalking them too Amber: well give me a number Cosmo: why? Amber: because I won't have to 🥺 if I know Cosmo: well, I went out with them so it's a different scale Amber: have all your girlfriends stalked you? Cosmo: no Cosmo: just some of them Amber: okay, I'll avoid raising a red flag Cosmo: ? Amber: if you thought all your exes were crazy... Cosmo: nah Cosmo: these were dates Cosmo: not girlfriend girlfriends Cosmo: they were fine, obviously Amber: I love that you go on dates, 9 Cosmo: what do you mean Amber: who does that? I'm picturing like 🤵💐 Cosmo: shut up Amber: I'm not making fun of you Amber: you're ⭐ it's no surprise you have girls 🤩 Cosmo: still Amber: I'm just jealous that no boys are 🤵💐 for me Cosmo: sure Amber: maybe I'll meet a gentleman in the club Cosmo: maybe you're not gonna do that Amber: don't put a hex on me, please Cosmo: not gonna watch you get with some creep who 'doesn't know' you're underage Amber: if you're the only 🤵💐 in an acceptable age range, I feel sad for every girl who lives here Amber: you can't date all of us Cosmo: you'll be gone soon and that won't be your problem Amber: pardon? Amber: where am I going? Cosmo: somewhere with more hammocks Cosmo: less 🐔s Amber: I'm not done here Amber: you haven't even built me a pool yet Cosmo: who am I? 💰💰💰 Amber: yes? Amber: ⚽⭐🏆🥂🤵 Cosmo: ha Cosmo: not yet Amber: unless my mama breaks up with her boyfriend, you probably will be before I leave though Cosmo: that why you move? Amber: we came here because my dad left his girlfriend, but that isn't usually why Amber: they like to go where they feel needed, professionally Cosmo: hm 👌 Amber: what are you saying to me, boy? Cosmo: nothing you don't already know Amber: but you still can't help yourself, right? Cosmo: that's why I didn't actually say it Amber: valiant attempt Cosmo: what, I should have said nothing? Amber: you should say what you want to, whether that's nothing or something Amber: I don't mind, whatever you're avoiding telling me I'll have heard before Cosmo: Whatever, it isn't my business Amber: it isn't plenty of people's but they have plenty to say Cosmo: I mean I don't care Amber: unfriendly but honest Cosmo: why should I Amber: why should you care about me? Amber: if that's a question you're posing, I don't think you should Cosmo: and you about me Cosmo: we don't know each other Amber: if you don't have the time, space or willingness to get to know me, that's fine Amber: but if you're open to it, that's where I'm coming from Cosmo: I don't think I can Amber: because of you or because of me? Cosmo: because of my life Amber: okay Cosmo: it is what it is Amber: it's your life Cosmo: yeah Amber: I'm sorry for being pushy Cosmo: don't apologize Cosmo: you don't need to Amber: I feel like I've done the wrong thing so I do Cosmo: I'm sorry it feels like that then Cosmo: I didn't plan it Amber: how could you? I like invaded your life 🛸 Cosmo: you didn't intend to do that either Amber: but I could've just gone back out of the window, I didn't, so there's the first wrong thing Cosmo: you didn't know Cosmo: if I was different Amber: that's why I called it the first one, because I built on it once I was more aware Amber: you've spelled it out a few times Cosmo: you were just being a nice person Amber: a nice person would take the hint Cosmo: it's not your fault Cosmo: seriously Amber: it's not yours either Cosmo: it is Amber: you can't force it to be right, the timing or whatever Amber: your life is full Cosmo: it's not Cosmo: our lives don't go together in any way Amber: they could, but I'm not gonna force that on you any more than I have Cosmo: I promise they couldn't Cosmo: I like you Cosmo: I've thought about it, any way or every way possible Amber: that doesn't make sense to me, we could be anything together Cosmo: because you can be anything Cosmo: I can't Cosmo: I have things I have to be, no discussion Amber: I know, I might not fully understand but I've been listening Amber: ⚽⭐🏆🥂🤵 Cosmo: it's more serious than it sounds Cosmo: it's the only thing I'm good at Amber: I'm not making fun of you about this either Amber: I couldn't be more undecided about what I wanna do, it's not a bad thing that you've worked that out Amber: I'm not saying it is, I wouldn't Cosmo: I know, you're a nice person Cosmo: whatever else I've said, seriously or otherwise Cosmo: it isn't even like it's a choice Cosmo: it's something I have to do Amber: I'm obviously not nice if you feel like you have to defend your entire life Amber: you don't need to do this, explain like you owe me anything Cosmo: I'm just trying to explain why we wouldn't work, I want to Amber: how does it work with your other friends? Cosmo: they're all on the team Amber: so you don't see them outside of games and training? Cosmo: no, we go out too, like I said Cosmo: but games and training is the majority of my time Cosmo: the rest is home Amber: why can't we go out too? Amber: sometimes Amber: at least a few of your teammates must have girlfriends or whatever, it's not like I'd have to be the only girl there Cosmo: they all do Cosmo: but they usually aren't invited Cosmo: but there'll still be girls there Amber: if you want this to work, we can start there then Amber: I'll show up Saturday and whenever after Cosmo: was my mum home when you came over Cosmo: before Amber: I don't think so Amber: he said nobody was Cosmo: alright Amber: I haven't met her and if I do you don't have to worry about me announcing how we met Cosmo: I don't know why I brought it up Cosmo: it's not that though Amber: whatever is worrying you about her, you don't have to add the possibility of that conversation to it, is all I mean Amber: I had sex with your brother and came back like a stalker and a thief, I know it's strange Cosmo: I'm her carer Amber: but Dash is at the commune more than I am Amber: when does he help? Cosmo: he was never any good at any of it Cosmo: she can do a lot herself, but her work exhausts her so when she's home she does need help, just makes sense Amber: he still has to be there to try Amber: when my dad gets in one of his moods, it's hard on everyone but I wouldn't be anywhere else Cosmo: well he don't Cosmo: but I can do it fine on my own Amber: he's worse than I thought Cosmo: that's not why I told you Cosmo: I'm busy, you know, all the time Cosmo: but saturday Cosmo: we can do saturday Amber: I know but he is Amber: everything shouldn't fall on you Cosmo: it's whatever Amber: his life is far from full Amber: it's unacceptable Cosmo: don't think your 😠 face with cut it Ambs Amber: I'm not gonna charge up to him and demand he changes his life, he wouldn't listen and it'd just add to your stress Amber: I don't wanna do that Cosmo: I appreciate it Cosmo: don't worry about him, I don't Amber: it's about you, and your mama Amber: what about your dad? Cosmo: They split when I was 10 Cosmo: they don't hate each other or anything but it's day to day shit so, defeats the point of the split if he's there for every dinner, every bed time, like Amber: can you talk to him about how you feel though? Cosmo: I could Cosmo: but I don't need to Amber: as long as you have someone you can, for if you do need to Cosmo: do you? Amber: I can talk to my parents about everything, except the 🐘 in the room Amber: they'll say mental health is as important as physical when it's not their own, you know Cosmo: sure, no topic is off-limits Cosmo: but you won't get an actual answer Amber: they'd like to think they're unique... Cosmo: wouldn't we all Cosmo: no one is though Amber: you missed another opportunity to compliment me there Cosmo: sorry Cosmo: wouldn't seem like one when unique = mental Amber: I could be, we don't know each other well Amber: yet Cosmo: maybe Cosmo: I'll save unique for later then Cosmo: you've had nice, don't be greedy Amber: 👼🏽👌🏽 Cosmo: angelic is a bit of a stretch but Cosmo: alright Amber: because you don't like agreeing with me Cosmo: just because we don't agree, doesn't mean I take any pleasure in it, like 😏 Amber: what do you take pleasure in? I'll do more of it Cosmo: quite the proposition Amber: think about it and 💌 me Cosmo: I will Amber: but being serious, are you at home? Cosmo: why? Amber: because this conversation got more serious than 'thanks for the necklace, I love it' and I wanna make sure you're fine Amber: but if I do a doorstep welfare check I promise not to quote from the bible Cosmo: you don't need to do that Cosmo: I'm good Amber: I won't come in, you can just 😏 and I'll know you're okay Cosmo: [sends selfie like there you go] Amber: slytherin response Cosmo: 🙄 you take the piss Amber: if I have another gift for you, will you wanna see me then? Cosmo: you trying to buy my ❤? Amber: you said bribery works so if I need to buy a real 😏 Cosmo: I didn't mean for the conversation to get that serious Cosmo: it's not my chat-up line Amber: even if you only opened up because you were thinking we wouldn't have to see each other again, it doesn't matter Amber: you needed to talk Amber: it wouldn't have been as easy at the club or the gym Cosmo: you aren't going to just forget it happened, are you Amber: do you want me to? Cosmo: it'd be easier Amber: because you wish you hadn't told me or because you're embarrassed Cosmo: I wish I hadn't told you Cosmo: but not because it's you Cosmo: well, kind of Cosmo: I don't need help or sympathy or anything Amber: I'll forget after I've delivered your 🎁 Amber: you maybe could as well, after it, there's a clue Cosmo: oh, I get it Cosmo: trying to get me hooked with a free taste Amber: not a dealer, remember Cosmo: likely story Amber: you'll 👀 Amber: I'll knock 9 times Cosmo: 😂 Cosmo: I might answer before you manage that Amber: I knew you wanted to see me, boy Cosmo: you're alright to look at Amber: I know that too but thanks Cosmo: 😏 Amber: if you're already smirking there's no way I'm gonna tell you that you're beautiful too Cosmo: you already did Amber: when I properly do it'll hit differently Cosmo: yet more drug talk Cosmo: one-track mind, thought I was bad Amber: 😂

[austinstahl]

City Paper is Dead, Long Live City Paper

It's hard to describe, to someone who's never experienced it, the pleasure of being a part of something you'd previously loved from the outside. It's what I imagine it might feel like to be drafted by the team you grew up rooting for.

I'd been reading the Baltimore City Paper since high school in the late ’90s, when I'd pick up a copy on occasional trips into the city, and it was a window into a world of arts and music and general adult freedom that I longed to enter. After I moved to Baltimore for college, it became an indispensable companion to the city I was now exploring, and to a growing music scene that I was attempting to infiltrate. And it was a consistent source of great writing about things I cared about — it seems weird to say now, but at the time, it was not easy to find genuinely good writing on the internet — with great photography and illustration alongside it.

So when, as a newly-minted college grad in 2004, I got invited in for a job interview after an acquaintance had recommended me, it was both exciting and surreal to see where this thing I loved got made. (I believe the only time I ever used the stately front entrance to the offices at 812 Park Ave, a converted Mt Vernon rowhouse mansion, was for that interview; staffers, as I soon learned, customarily slipped in via the back alley.) I had spent the previous several months searching for a “real” graphic design job, and this City Paper position was for a production assistant, so I wasn't entirely sure it was the right move, but it seemed like too much fun to pass up. Even for a measly $12 an hour.

It was. The vibe of the Production department was like being in a class populated entirely by class clowns, on a day where you had a substitute: You knew you'd need to get your work done eventually, but in the meantime a feeling of let's-see-what-we-can-get-away-with anarchy hung over the whole enterprise. We occupied a large room on the second of the building's three floors, appropriately between Editorial (above) and Advertising (below). There, six of us laid out some parts of the paper—whatever wasn't handled directly by Joe, our goofily ebullient art director—and designed a massive number of small ads for local advertisers. (We offered this service for free, and it was like layout boot camp.) Music was usually blaring from a boombox perched on the mantel of what had once been a bedroom fireplace, often controlled by the eclectic tastes of our senior designer Matt. A second sonic layer, made up of constant jokes and banter, floated overtop of and intertwined with the music. Even if the work itself sometimes felt like drudgery, I was never bored.  

On Mondays, we worked a 12-hour shift as final ad approvals came up the stairs from Advertising and final article edits came down the stairs from Editorial, all needing to be placed onto pages. At dinnertime we'd wait anxiously for a call from the basement to tell us the company-provided pizzas had arrived, and then march down past “the morgue,” where nearly thirty years' worth of papers were archived—a weekly reminder that this madcap pursuit had a long history (longer, indeed, than my life to that point).  

I'd gotten a lot of advice in design school about making sure my first job was one where I could keep on learning, and while I'm not sure that CP was quite the type of job these advice-givers had in mind, I was undoubtedly learning plenty: When to push back against bad ideas (no, Mr Advertiser, the fact that the ad we designed for you contains a few slivers of white space does not mean that we can now cram 50% more content in) and when to grin and bear them (usually making private use of my colleague Rebecca's oft-repeated saying: “If that's what you want...”). How to wrangle disparate pieces of content into a coherent whole (it was our job to create “The Map” that determined which content/ads went onto which pages, no small task when we had so many different ad sizes that we used the letters of the alphabet to refer to them). How to keep your cool when the pressure was on and tensions were rising.

And though I didn't fully recognize it at the time, I was beginning to learn that publication design was what I was meant to do; I loved spending my days working alongside people who were putting something of value into the world. As difficult as I found the schedule—after Monday's 12-hour slog, you'd grab some sleep and then head right back for the mad dash of Tuesday morning, sending pages off to the printer—I immediately appreciated too that if a week's work wasn't your best, well, you didn't have to wait long for a chance to do it better.

After a little less than a year, though, I was growing weary of that weekly grind. Adding to my weariness was the peculiar mix of entitlement and insecurity that perhaps only young twentysomethings can feel with the ferocity that I did; I felt that my numerous design talents were not being properly utilized as a mere Production department drone, and simultaneously feared that dronehood was perhaps all I was capable of. It didn't take long for this mixture to curdle into a bad attitude that I evidently didn't hide well—at some point that summer, our production director, Athena, called me down into the alley (the only place one could have a private discussion at 812 Park) to ask if I really wanted to be working there. I admitted, to her and to myself, that I didn't.

(Athena, thank you for putting up with me.)

So I moved on. I only worked at the paper for less than a year, but that time has taken on an outsized importance in the life story I tell myself, looking back with a dozen years' distance. As short as my tenure was, I had the privilege of being a small part of this local institution, this forty-year history of documenting and shaping the social and cultural life of my city. There's a pride in that, which I expect will never go away.

City Paper itself, of course, has now gone away, killed by its parent company earlier this month. Count me among those who felt the paper had experienced a sharp decline in quality and consistency in recent years, though to be fair, at least some of that must have been due to rapidly shrinking resources. Certainly they were still capable of great heights: their dispatches from the summer's Baltimore Ceasefire and their longform deep dive into sexual harassment and abuse in the arts scene, to name two from the final few months, were engrossing and important pieces. These are the kind of community-serving features that they seem ready to continue in new form over at the Baltimore Beat, which launched this week under the leadership of some recent CP vets. I look forward to following it.

City Paper's demise has been framed widely as a symptom of the 21st-century media landscape, where the internet has killed print advertising so thoroughly that no free print media can survive, but apparently CP was still profitable—just not profitable enough for the corporation that chose to end it. The narrative that it really fits into is the one where more and more independent media entities, print and digital alike, are bought up by the rich and powerful and don't always survive the whims of their new patrons.

I still have a copy of the first issue of City Paper I worked on, from October 20, 2004. It contains 136 pages (compare this to the final issue's 40) and lists fifty-one employees on the masthead, not counting contributors or distribution. (Baltimore Beat's full-time roster, reportedly: five.) So, yeah, independent media in 2017 is leaner in more ways than one. But I think it can still be a force, a beacon to draw kids like me to cities like ours, and a vital resource for those who are already here. Even if there are fewer opportunities to be drafted by the home team, I have to believe that there are new teams to start, new games to invent that we haven't yet dreamt of.