#I haven't drawn a dude in literally a year lol

[critter-of-habit]

Billy please adopt Señor Scratchy

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

Bunny anon again. Thank you for the response ❤️ Loved all the points you brought up. I was introduced to South Park through my best friend too, back in 2010 when I was 12. Little me was quickly drawn into Bunny because of the opposites attract concept and the cute fanart lol. And omg, Hollycomb… I was obsessed with their writing back then, and I remember reading The Scenic Route and anticipating new chapters.

If you feel like it, I welcome you to pick apart Going Native :) When that episode was first announced, I lost my mind LMAO.

YOU WERE 12?????? DUDE WHATTTT WHATT WERE YOU DOING WATCHING SOUTH PARK AT 12 GSHDVHSBS NOOOO

Okay whew anyways still mad impressive that you were THERE when The Scenic Route was being published and pre-Going Native Bunny as well lmao i feel honored being approached by a true south park veteran. I literally only started watching South Park this year, I wish I could've seen those season releases live as well. I bet that feeling must've been unmatched.

And god yeah HOLLYCOMB'S WRITING admittedly I haven't read much of their other works (I have yet to read the last chapter of The Scenic Route actually💔fake fan) but the way they write dialogue is something I wanna study under a microscope. It's so brief and effective, I literally could never shsvsshis I wanna know how to say so much in so little words too

And yeah, opposites attract is definitely a good way to describe Bunny bc they're opposites in the way Yin and Yang are; they compliment each other and thrive more when the other exists alongside them, but don't clash. But honestly it's true that one can't give enough credit to fanartists and the service they did to pull me down the rabbit hole as well, I think that might've been the first step for me too before anything else

Thank YOU so much for the ask and for letting me ramble. Don't hesitate to reach out off anon if you want lmao I'd love to drill you on fandom history if you've been here that long. I might pick apart Going Native's character writing in some other post🤭🤭🤭 it's a really random bomb they dropped only to never bring up Butters & Kenny's compatibility again, until off-screen in Post Covid. I don't think I could talk about Going Native without also talking about these boys' futures

🧡🧡🧡

[seashoreshell]

Dude idk how they did it but afk literally created my first hyperfixation with a character in YEARS. Im honest to fuck in love with Eugene. How did they make him this perfect? Also thank u so much for drawing him!

I'm right here with you lmao. I haven't drawn much else lately, he's living rent free in my head. Like I was already a lost cause when I first read his diary, but then they dropped his official design and it was all over lol

And thank you for the nice comment ❤️

[daevilhorns-1]

anyways. since we really are approaching four years with this mfer. let me be a little vulnerable for a second. under the cut for long drawn out emo bullshit.

pov: it's january 2019 and the first trailer for lords of chaos just dropped. me , amazed we were finally getting a mayhem movie , and having very little self control , decided to make levi on a complete whim while i was in the shower. i suddenly materialized into my final form. and i literally haven't been able to be stopped since.

levi is my pride and joy fr. he's my comfort muse. i'll never not be in the mindset to write him because he lives in the back of my brain and is constantly crawling around in my ears like a little worm. maybe that's because i specifically created him to appeal to no one but myself. i created him to express my own interests and likes and dislikes , as a muse i can entirely relate to. i've given him so many parts of myself that it's actually ridiculous lmao. ( so if i ever seem a little too protective over my own creation . . . . . )

honestly i didn't ever really expect him to pick up much traction in the rpc. there's nothing entirely "special" about him. he's not supernatural. he doesn't have a deep or traumatic lore. none of the "fun" stuff when it comes to creating a muse. he's just some dude that you'd find outside of a 7/11 at three in the morning waiting for someone to comment on his band tee so he can talk about king diamond for thirty minutes straight. but he quickly became my most successful muse out of the hundred i have / had and someone y'all liked and i'll forever be grateful for that ?? or idk maybe y'all just think he's hot but that's another conversation lol. ( pls don't fc chase. it's fucking weird and insanely belittling to the writer. )

he's gone through a few changes over the years ( shoutout to everyone who's been here since rory was his main fc ) but i like to think he's relatively the same muse i started with. maybe a little less cringey but. he hails satan for the funsies so. cringe has always been a part of his dna. maybe having so few changes made over four years is kind of commendable ?? just means i had a good idea from the start hehe. but i'd love to know from those who have been along for the ride for a while now , how much y'all think he's changed. that'd be interesting.

in conclusion ! i've given my heart to this muse. he's my number one funky little guy. blood sweat and tears have been poured. i now have an entire universe and other muses built around him. i've also been through a lot of bullshit with him that could have easily drove me away ( and almost did. ) i have to remind myself constantly that i did do something original here , and that it's okay for me to pat myself on the back for that sometimes without the fear of coming off a certain way. there wasn't really much of a music based rpc back in 2019. let alone a metal music based rpc. and i've watched it grow so much since then. i think i'm allowed to say there'll never be another levi , and i don't know if i'd still be here if it weren't for you guys. <3 happy almost four year anniversary my favorite little gremlin.

[feuqueerfire]

Be My Favorite Live Blogging

Haven't been really watching shows and haven't watched anything long since literally August but now that it's nearing the end of the semester and I have big, big projects due that I'm not close to being done, clearly it's the correct time to watch this.

I've been anticipating this for so long, I hope I love it.

Ep 1 (Nov 23)

1-1

hijabi side character

12 years after 1st year, so are they 30 years old now?

not Pisaeng being a liar! lol

1-2

oh yeah, Kawi is a translator!

the time travel has started

1-3

omg him getting a call from his dad and going to see him and hug him T.T because his dad passed away in real life T.T

oh the first time travel iteration, i'm having fun

"Do you like me? [...] What should I think?"

1-4

The way Kawi has already begun to act unlike himself and getting out of his shell like with Pisaeng in the locker room and dancing drunk in the bar, even if it involves first stealing Pisaeng's clothes and next his money

Fun start!

Ep 2 (Nov 24)

2-1

ohh okay so doing that takes you to the same moment as when you twisted it? both in the present and past

2-2

Ahh, his time travel affecting the current timeline, he's now besties with Pisaeng and isn't a recluse

2-3

Kawi's repeatedly using Pisaeng's money and whining is offputting. like i fully know that a large portion of his inferiority complex comes from the lack of money and how he thinks that people think of him poorly because of it but omg it's so ew

2-4

I would hate to be in Pear's situation so much omg she was hoping to get have lunch with the guy she's known for a while + probably has a crush on and now he's left her at this restaurant with some random dude who has definitely been trying to get closer to her... rip but she's being nice about it

ah, the kissing the best man on the day of the wedding

the coming-back-to-win-prize is extremely expected lol

Krist's expressions are too much fr, reminds me why I don't like certain slap-stick cartoonish jBLs. paired with the whining? please I need it to lessen over time

Ep 3 (Nov 24)

3-1

Pear inviting a friend as soon as she realized Pisaeng had ditched and now she's having lunch alone with this guy who could misconstrue this as a date, exactly so true

For all my ehh feelings about Khai's mannerisms, the way he says "Then who do you like? O.O" is so good

3-4

I know the point is that Kawi is unlikeable and doesn't quite know how to navigate people or relationships but he's supposed to grow throughout the show but man he bothers me fr like the way he keeps being cruel to Pisaeng is just. I know it's cuz he doesn't want Pisaeng to fall for him and leave Pear on their wedding day but it's like girl...

actually more than just terating him shitty, it bothers me that every time Kawi acts like he doesn't get why Pisaeng is hurt. "Oh just this hurt you?" "Why are you mad?" etc

loll the lottery ticket thing is so true

I was whatever about Gawin in Not Me and wasn't really someone I wasn't someone I was drawn to in general but I really like him in this role! Hot boy Pisaeng let's go

Ep 4 (Nov 25)

4-1

The way Kawi wears his backpack only on one shoulder bothers me cuz it doesn't look light

4-2

broo Kawi put your fucking backpack on properly like the whole game whatever is dumb and annoying obviously but don't be silly

I hate these confession things so much, fuck Not for real. ofc it's a lot of pressure on Kawi to confess but I also hate these things that definitely pressure the girl into feeling like she has to say yes

4-3

okayy at least they're all leaving the two of them together, rather than witnessing the confession but I kinda thought they were gonna film him get rejected or smth

oh lmfao they're eavesdropping on him knowing he'd get rejected such bastards

I knowww the point is that Kawi has many shortcomings but goddamn being 30 in a freshman's body and still making stupid decisions is so annoying to watch, why are you going to the nightclub rn bffr and he knows Not is an asshold, he almost slipped up when he tried to make Not and Pisaeng go back to being friends so why is he hanging around Not still smh

Not stop trying to get a girl to sleep with a drunk Kawi omg

4-4

annoying, including what Pisaeng is saying

although drunk Kawi jumping past!Pisaeng for the crimes for current Pisaeng is funny though, Pisaeng is confused as hell

ah Pisaeng gay and avoidant

Damn, Kawi really got Pisaeng to confess to Pear that he doesn't like her and never will, good job

wait... Pear asking to sit with Kawi... knowing that she doesn't have a chance with Pisaeng... are we gonna get groom Kawi in the new future?

bro wtf he's not going to go back to the present? how are you not curious enough smh but I guess he doesn't know that Pisaeng said no to Pear

Ep 5 (Nov 25)

5-1

Oh, he wants to accomplish his last goal of dating Pear or whatever before going back...

oh Pisaeng taken with seeing boys kissing at the club he works at

5-2

ahh Pisaeng going to the gay club!

aww him running out as soon as he saw Max and got recognized

ah Max good head

5-3

I don't want Kwan to be nice to Nott, she's too good for him

I don't quite agree with Max because what do you mean people don't care or gossip or talk about where you go and what you do

lol did Kwan being nice to Nott make Nott be nice to Kawi. will it last

not Kawi running to meet Pisaeng and actually apologizing gj

Pisaeng really confessed

5-4

Corny scene of Kawi and Pisaeng but better than the whining

damn singer Kawi

oh the next episode has the drunk scene with Kawi asking why Pisaeng likes him... it's in every edit + trailer I think

Ep 6 (Nov 26)

6-1

lol is a business tycoon that good to watch, Max?

Pear whining to her dad to treat Kawi's father is so... eh? idk it's a serious topic but idk

oh damn the dinner with Pear's father is going really sideways

Pisaeng shouldn't have told Pear but that's one thing, I don't think Pear also shouldn't have just started talking about Kawi's dad to her dad without consulting him

but also was Kawi planning on asking Pear's dad without telling Pear beforehand?

Kawi's little drunk ramble here is pretty good

6-2

wtf why is Nott being cute and smiley to Pear...

oh the drunk Kawi and Pisaeng kissing

what are we doing why are we unbuttoning the drunk guy's shirt bro

okay sorry I think this would've been better if I though Kawi was attractive

not Kawi falling asleep omg pls

6-3

she may be a capitalist businesswoman but at least she supports queer people and her son being queer

oh my bad spoke too soon! she's like keep it quietttt

oh so Nott is there to tell Pear he thinks Kawi isn't straight?

lol not the time-travelling sleep-talking

crying why didn't Pisaeng shut Kawi up quicker

6-4

oh Pisaeng has become bold

Ep 7 (Nov 26)

7-1

ahhh tragic the way Pisaeng

aw, I'm proud of Kawi, mans really accomplishing his goals

girl what kaljdsfkljadsf omg

7-2

so how does memory work here? Does Kawi just know the lyrics even though it's a song he never learned in a life he hasn't lived?

but i'm assuming there's still stuff wrong with his life and him being so happy is out of character?

girl not Nott D: Pear no

oh nooo Pear and Kawi had been dating but he's been putting her through it?

Can they show what actually lead to Kawi and Pear's breakup?

omg ? did Kawi cheat on Pear with Pisaeng or smth?

7-3

omg Nott is suchhh a dickhead, how is he getting both Kwan and Pear smhhh

girl so you're pregnant, get an abortion plsss ik it's not as easy as i'm saying it but T.T tying yourself to Nott for life?

okay at least Kawi didn't cheat on Pear, he just didn't wanna marry her and settle down

7-4

I guess Kawi let Pisaeng be true to himself but leading him to discover him being gay?

ahh Pisaeng giving Kawi gift for his "confession" anniversary even 8 years down the line, how are you so down bad omg Kawi and Pisaeng are both kings of holding onto crushes, though at least Pisaeng has been around Kawi this whole time, unlike Kawi having like no contact with Pear lol

Okay my confession is that Nott and Kwan are both very attractive to me and kinda want to see them play a couple together

Ep 8 (Nov 27)

8-1

tragic reaction to the kiss

so did Kawi often kiss Pisaeng while drunk? and forget or what?

8-2

aw man the dad died right away

i mean... Pisaeng's mom isn't wrong here tbh

dang, Kawi gave Pisaeng his diary

I feel like Kawi should've given Pisaeng some more concrete proof ngl

8-3

forever gotta love a queer ralley or info session or whatever in a BL

plsss not all this dramatics while Pisaeng prlly just dropping his mother off at the airport but i suppose it'll move Kawi along in his feelings bravery journey

8-4

girl not the time travel man almost getting to Pisaeng's car

Ep 9 (Nov 28)

9-1

is the writer or director of this show a child of divorce with a shitty mother who is obsessed with her work and never there for her kid or smth? because pear, kawi, pisaeng all have separated parents, pear and kawi love and are in contact with their fathers while their mothers left for work and a diff family respectively. pisaeng is living with his mom technically but she's also never there and busy with her work. we could've at least examined why women are forced into these scenarios for at least 1 situation instead of having 3 shitty moms for no reason lmao

9-2

agh Not is a problem fr

idk i kinda don't care about Kawi and Pisaeng cuteness negl even though I feel like I should be having fun with it... I'm just kinda bored of this show rip even though it's like objectively not bad and probably not actually boring

9-3

bro Not isn't just calling Pear but discussing it with a group in public, get fucked fr

aw Pear

9-4

Kwan needs to get over Nott and Pear needs to not entertain him either aghhh this fucker

Kwan is so pretty fr I cannot see her like Nott fr T.T and Nott is nicef to look at too, why can't he be a decent guy

ah Pear asking Nott to not tell anybody, she's kind but he's an asshole who's already told everybody so

and at least she's not falling for him, yes a win

At first I was watching this show on 1.25 but I started doing 1.5x because I kinda want it to be done

Ep 10 (Nov 28/29)

10-1

Nott pushing Kwan like that??? die

10-2

hehe making up with friends Pear and Max

awwww this tragic Pisaeng moment with his mother

ohh so the mother approved finally

10-3

Kawi is a 30 year old virgin who figured out he likes guys also like a week ago so I understand why he's shy, its not out of character for him the way it is for many of the other BL characters but it's still so awkward T.T

just gonna ignore Max's response to possibly asexuality but whatever lol

[Linguistics] Oh, then discussing stopping gu/mueng and using Khun or smth instead because they're dating now

10-4

not even gonna lie, skipped the entire intimate scene thing because it's making me uncomfortable idk like it's not giving horniness vibes which is definitely fine, i love tender and sweet but for some reason it's giving me the ick here - maybe cuz I actually wanted it to go a different way of maybe not leading to sex and going in an ace route?

i saw a glimpse of the kissing and yeah not into it

Actually, I wonder if not watching anything risque or sexual in a show for the past few months has made me averse to it again? but idk bout that cuz I've been enjoying the Pit Babe edits lmfao (although the edits don't really show much actual NC content, just convos before or interactions)

Anyway 2 more episodes, I can do this. idk why i'm so meh about this show when I've been hoping to love it while many people who were so apprehensive about it like it way more than me

Ep 11 (Nov 29)

11-1

Aw Pear and her mother making up

having to skip through the continuation of the Kawi and Pisaeng sex scene to get to the interweaved character stories lmfao

11-2

Graduation gift? How fucking long has Kawi been living in the past

the compilation of Kawi and Pisaeng (+friends at Christmas) is cute, aw

11-3

wait Pearmai wedding invitation? Is this still in the past?

the constant Khun is so confusing now

11-4

I'm so confused by the passing of time this episode, ig it's been a few days since Kawi got sick?

ohhhh so the reason nothing happened with Pisaeng the first time is because it was his first time spinning the snowglobe so he's back there on his second try

omg just one more episode left, i'm so tired of this show i want it to be done

Ep 12 (Nov 30)

Last day of the month and I'm finally almost done whooo 1 last episode on 1.5x let's go

12-1

Ohh, nice choice to make Kawi reflect on not wanting to actually become famous

12-2

I don't get the aging thing either

Okay my bad I really skipped through this last ep to get the just of what's going on

Overall:

It is such a tragedy that despite looking forward to this show for so long and enjoying some aspects and moments, ultimately, it fell flat for me. I feel like a lot of this show was objectively done well like the character arcs and acting and stuff but I'm not attached to any of it. The romance didn't make me feel giddy even though I really wish it had like it's strange that I didn't care at all about all those cute moments Kawi and Pisaeng had or the established relationship montages when usually they're some of my favourite aspects of a BL. agh whatever ig at least the show didn't treat Pear terribly.

Rating: 5.5/10

[14dayswithyou]

one sided enemies / lovers ren x mc fic where the high tension point of it is mc trying to stab ren while he’s “asleep” only for him to open his eyes and grab their wrists as they try and aim for his throat only for him to look them in the eyes and say “you’re really beautiful”, 25k slowburn, pinning, childhood friends to strangers to one sided love/hatred, not updated since 2018

A/N: Hello angels! Sorry I haven’t updated my multichapter 14DWY AU in a while! I got married, had three kids, divorced and then immediately got remarried again, came out of a 3-year coma due to my lack of copium, and recently adopted a dog :D Also I had to undergo surgery because I was suffering from sugondese, but I'm back now with another chapter! Plz enjoy!

pairings: MC x some pink haired guy idk i haven't played 14dwy

tags: over 25k word count, enemies to lovers to strangers then back to friends but not really, slow burn, only one bed, mpreg, stabbing (but not the sexual kind), pining, lemon/smut scene, mafia!au, etc.

Now was your chance. You finally had the opportunity to kill the fucker that had been embezzling funds from your Mafia father’s company. The timing was perfect... you had seduced him with your super hot appearance and slipped sleeping pills into his drink like a creep who belongs in jail. Now he was unconscious in your bed (there's only one bed in this huge expensive $$$ mansion) because you're not a monster who lets your enemies/lovers sleep on the ground.

Getting closer to the sleeping dude, you noticed that he was sleeping with a cheap ass face mask and sliced, dollar store cucumbers on his eyes… Like wtf… If he could steal over $1,000,000 from your father, you’d think he’d be able to buy something more expensive? Cheap ass….

Anyways it doesn’t matter because now you're looming over him and ripping off his $2 mallwart self-care products and staring at his prone and vulnerable form.

Wow... he actually looked.... beuatiful????

No-- stop it Y/N M/N L/N! this was not the time to be falling for the enemy! after your recent break-up with Teo -- the son of the rival mafia and the guy you were once in an arranged marriage with -- you were in no position to date again. But... wait… who said anything about dating? oh wait I did because I'm the narrator lol

Shaking your head and letting your H/L H/C hair loose, you draw your knife and angle it at the pink-haired ex-yakuza heir (your father and his mother are rivals as well). But before you could go for his jugular or smth, his eyes flutter open and lock onto yours.

It was as if time stopped and nothing else existed outside of your bedroom walls. You were captivated by his striking blue orbs and soft, dewy skin. He looked like an angel sent from heaven — but in the form of your childhood friend. aka the one you met on the playground all those years ago.... sakura blossoms were blowing in the wind which was romantic, but didnt make sense because corland bay doesn’t take place in Japan (omg 14dwy lore?? in my crack fic????)

Memories come flooding back, and it was as if the pink-haired guy was remembering them too — if the way his eyes softly trace over your features was any indication. How could you kill him? Did you want to kill him? He was nothing but kind to you, despite the fact that he literally stole money from your family and tried to kill you ex. And wtf why am I actually putting effort into this???

Shaking your head again (i don't know that many descriptors), you strengthen your resolve and press the blade firmly against his heart instead. But ya mans must've been made out of steel or something because you haven't drawn blood yet? tf?? anyways, before you could notice, he wraps a large and veiny hand around your wrist and softly murmurs something under his breath.

For some reason you forgot how soft and breathy his voice sounded, and for a moment in time, you found yourself falling for him. ah shit bois it's the beginning of the enemies to lovers arc!!!!! yehaw 🤠 ok anyways

Before you could say anything, he cuts you off "You look beautiful”

"How can you say that I'm literally wearing a balaclava right now? :/" you say, “I’m going for that mysterious vibe”

"Yeah but I know the real you, the you that's underneath that balaclava."

it was sweet, but you knew better than to trust the words of your enemy/lover. "Ok but what if I told you I was wearing another one underneath”

"yeah that's valid i'm literally wearing two sweaters rn"

"oh sick" looking down you notice that he wasn’t lying “nice I love the complimentary colours. very neutral and very based uwu”

"y-y-y-y-eah" he blushes "sorry i forgot that i'm supposed to be haruko rn"

"oh shit!! you like attack on giants? my man!!!!!"

"i-it's pretty pog ^^ anyways," he looks at your really cool and expensive gucci blade that was pressed against his heart. "weren't you going to kill me?"

"oh yeah" drawing the knife for the 69th time, you position it again before looking into his ocean blue cerulean cyan orbs once more. "this is for stealing money from my dad… the richest mafia don in all of corland bay…. he's a great dad btw because my mom tried to sell me to one direction-- anyways I'm rambling now. time to unalive you hehe"

but... you couldn't do it. You couldn't kill your childhood friend, your twin flame, and the man you harboured secret feelings for. He was too pretty and too Baby to kill. look at him. Would you really murder a guy looking like that? Jail time for even thinking about harming such an innocent soul :/ and so, you retract the blade and dramatically look off into the distance.

"I.... I can't do it."

"here i'll do it then." and then he grabs the knife and straight up stabs himself.

"MY BROTHER IN CHRIST WTF???"

"you wanted to kill me, and I only want what you want. it's logic :)"

"omg the rapper? anyways that's not what I-- you know what? yeah okay sure bet"

and just like romeo and juliet, you stab yourself as well so you could be with your lover in the afterlife. But you didn't die quick enough, so you had some time to kill on the ONLY bed in the mansion. so u woohoo with each other before kicking the bucket

you see ren in the afterlife and that’s when you realise that one of you were pregnant. yeah.... now this is the annoying part of every fic where they introduce the unwanted pregnancy arc. but that continues in chapter 69 so stay tuned! I should be able to update this next week if nothing goes wrong :)

-- THE END --

A/N (for real): if y'all want an actual serious scenario with this prompt, lemme know lmao

[variousqueerthings]

Heyyy bestie guess who...

I think your point about love interests is so right, there's less of a focus on how they interact because they're just friends in the later seasons, theres no winning over a nurse moment because they don't need to be won. Also I miss ginger :(

I like your idea about the names and faces mixing too, it plays into the idea of time blurring so three years plays out over 11 seasons.

His fear(?) that he's seen and done too much over his time there is also so interesting, he doesn't feel like he deserves love or affection almost. I mean this in an aro or non aro way too, im even thinking that it would be really interesting if Hawkeye realised his views and feelings about romance and romantic love while in Korea and it took a long time for him to realise that it wasnt something that the war did to him, that it was just a natural part of who he always was.

Also heres where i admit that I stopped watching around season 8 i think(?) because, as you said, of the way the show seemed to constantly punish Hawkeye and how the support he'd had from the beginning has been draining away. (with the exception of Margaret, but one person can't hold him together when he's trying to hold everyone else) I do plan on finishing but i just got away from a similar problem and I don't want to watch it happen when I haven't talked it out properly first lol.

Also all of his lighter moments in the later seasons, especially the ones you mentioned, lack the sort of catharsis he really needs. They're all still about what he does for others, i cant speak on it until i watch them of course bit there seems to be much less gestures and acts of kindness for him.

Okay last points! I really feel like its too late to start censoring fuck my dude, that ship has sailed. I plan on saying more about your last response but its such a beast that im leaving it for my train ride tomorrow where I'll hopefully be able to put it together<3

-majoranon

I hope your train ride is good!

I am personally a glutton for pain (yes I'll leave that phrasing as it is), so I don't mind seeing him upset and worn down 😈

but I definitely feel like he's not given so much softness -- and the turning point was around season 8 I think, because I literally documented Moments between him and BJ and Margaret in s7 (+ season 8 was when Radar left and Period of Adjustment happened and Preventative Medicine was near the end of s7....), and I guess it's because he's increasingly Keeper Of Narrative Themes (vs other characters who carry mainly themes related to themselves and their personal journeys), which puts him in a slightly disconnected space -- the Narrator, Mad Max, Puck, (my flatmate was like "Horatio is also depressed and gay and tells the narrative" and they're not wrong) etc.... so even when he's having fun with the others, or having a moment where he's been relinquished for a second from Narrative Themes to be in the ensemble it feels to me watching like he's on a leash (no I won't change that phrasing either) -- he's still in the prison of the story, it's just giving him a bit of enrichment here and there, but less and less as we careen towards The End

also about aromanticism (forgive me if you already know + you know... things Many Queer People Feel For Similar Reasons) is that it's framed as brokenness by wider society. Romantic Love is the highest form of connection between people and so not being drawn towards this idea is an indication of something being wrong with you and a lot of aro people internalise that

and so the idea that Hawkeye can't disconnect his "incorrect feelings" from war trauma + his thematic role in the Story in which he's being increasingly separated narratively from the others... *charlie day meme*

all of this to say, yeah yeah "communal sub sounds sexual and also that," but mainly I think if someone cradled the back of his head while they gave him a really big hug (kinda like in s7 "Ain't Love Grand"), it might break me (and also him) and that I will on my rewatch document when we've had a moment like in "Peace On Us" where for a second Hawkeye is protected from the violence of the role he plays by the whole camp throwing him a party

(also that Stars and Stripes + Bottle Fatigue + Heal Thyself + Dreams were s8 and I don't know what I'm trying to say there but it certainly makes me stare at a wall)

(also this isn't to say that other characters aren't also occasionally doing their turn as Keepers of Themes or even that Hawkeye-centric episodes tend to be that, so much as when there's ensemble work happening he's increasingly given the War Is Hell perspective)