#I haven't done this in ages

[ennunanaiurov]

Fashion Journal ver 2024 Week 1 - 8th, 9th, 10th, 11th & 12th January

[punkass-diogenes]

Bones bleeding (if bones can bleed) Sore and seething all in harmony You ain’t getting a hold of me

[aysrin]

happy birthday ISAT !!

extras:

PIOU PIOU

[jukeboxindie]

"To Justice and Beyond" by Varric Tethras. Pre-order your copy today!

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[dragondawdles]

did a piece in the LU server's gift exchange ! something of survival and reunions and smug little shadowguys

[riotdyke]

2017 -> 2024

Butchness is about becoming, lesbianism is about growth, life is about transitions.

Take up your space.

[16th-of-a-twigg]

🫐🍊 quick mouth animation to one of my already posted screencap redraws

Ko-Fi

[stealingpotatoes]

Happy birthday!!! I love your art so much!!

Do you have any unposted doodles of your Star Wars ocs? Bc you should totally use this ask as an excuse to post them ✨✨✨

thank you!!! i haven't actually drawn them much recently, all i've got for you is this silly lil incorrect quote!!

[little-pup-pip]

neutral/masc sheep moodboard please?

Sure!!

[latolover]

I like von lycaon but i also like yanderes so here are my thoughts on yan?VonLycaon

Imagine that you work for a company that often collaborates or is close with Victoria Housekeeping Co. and thats how you both met.

Lycaon enjoys your company and admires your work ethics, you're punctual, respectful and very social towards his co-workers. He takes notes on the way you interact with his fellow co-workers, especially how you go the extra mile to bond with the anxious Corin.

Im almost so certain that Lycaon says the most romantic things to you without him even knowing. Have you heard his voice lines??? "Praise me for my loyalty" and "my only desire is to see my Master's wish fulfilled". He would offer you services with discounts specially reserved just for you. Need someone to clean your home? Take care of your pet while you're off-station? Need a hand in meal prepping ? Give him a call!

Lycaon would try to appeal to your gaze physically and emotionally. If you allow him to keep doing favours for you, you'd start to associate him with positivity. Your houseplant? Oh yeah, he recently revived it didn't he! He helped you carry your bags when you went shopping, how about we take a break and immortalise the moment with that photo booth? He never shows it on his face but Lycaon is over the moon about it inside.

Eventually your home will have his scent mixed in it but he wants something physical as a reminder. Lycaon would contact Rina, another member of Victoria Housekeeping to make a doll based on his likeness and shove a few of his fur in the stuffing.

[wispurring-moss]

...the jury's still out on deciding whether they Actually think they believe these words here or if they're just putting on just as big an act as Fizz & Ozzie, but either way i simply cannot deny that that scene is so Them-coded that i was Compelled to draw it finally x3c

maybe don't start up a makeout/bang session in a public area of the hotel if you don't want anyone to interrupt you or start asking questions, ya friggin' dweebs~ xD <3

[junebugdunes]

dumbass trio

[flickering-nightfall]

Woohoooo slugcat design refs! Been a long time coming. They're so pastel rainbow...

[rubberbandgirlme]

my name is zevran arainai. adventurer and occasional assassin.

[rpgchoices]

Useless rpgs recs. Videogames (not dating sims) where you play or you CAN play as a character who is wlw or mlm

Names and characters/explanations under cut (might contain minor spoilers):

Just a note, when I say romance I mean that there is actual story and plot related to it. Otehrwise for games like Fable or Skyrim (no romance) I will just write "Marry". For the romance games, a more detailed list of characters and romances can be found here.

Dragon Age Origins: You can romance Leliana (f) or Zevran (m) even with a character of their same gender

Dragon Age 2: You can romance all your companions (but Sebastian) indipendently from gender

Dragon Age Inquisition: You can romance Josephine (f) and Iron Bull (m) with any gender, and you can romance a lesbian character (Sera) or a gay character (Dorian)

Greedfall: You can romance Vasco (m) or Siora (f) with any gender

Dragon's Dogma: You can romance any character with any gender

Jade Empire: Sky (m) and Silk Fox (f) are romancable by any gender

Fable series: You can marry a character of your same gender

Skyrim: You can marry a character of your same gender

Enderal: You can romance Jasper (m) or Calia (f) as any gender

Pillars of Eternity: Deadfire: You can romance all your companions with any gender

Pendula Swing: The protagonist is canonically wlw, and you can romance male and female characetrs

Hero-U: The male protagonist can romance male characters too

Cyberpunk 2077: There are different flirts (female characters) that can be romanced by any gender, plus two full fledged romances a wlw and mlm one.

Expeditions: Viking: There is a female character (Roskva) and a male character (Ketill) who can be romanced by any gender.

Expeditions: Rome: There is a female character (Daianeira) and a male character (Caeso) who can be romanced by any gender.

Pathfinder Kingmaker: This game has multiple romances that can be romanced by characters of the same gender, mainly for wlw. Regongar is the one male character who can be romanced by any gender and also in a poly relationship with Octavia. Octavia, Kanerah, Kalikke, Nyrissa are the female characters romancable by any gender.

Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous: Similar to Kingmaker, there are multiple characters romancable by male or female protagonists.

Rogue Trader: One male character and two female characters can be romanced by any gender.

Gamedec: Ken Zhou is the only romance option in game and can be romanced by any gender.#

Black Geyser: The romances are minimal, but there are multiple female and female characters romancable by any gender.

Always sometimes monsters (and sequel): you choose both the gender of the protagonist and the one of the romance.

Divinity Original Sin: If you play alone you control two characters who can end up in a romance (not fully written, almost subtle) indipendently from their gender.

Divinity Original Sin 2: All the companions can be romanced by any gender.

Disco Elysium: If you choose specific dialogue choices it is revealed that the protagonist (Harry) is attracted to men.

Baldur's Gate 1 and 2, enhanced edition: The enhanced edition adds Dorn and Hexxat who can be romanced by the same gender.

Baldur's Gate Siege of Dragonspear: Two romance options are not gender locked.

Baldur's Gate 3: All the companions are romancable by any gender, plus there are some more flirts/less developed romances.

Assassin's Creed Odyssey: Multiple characters through the game are not gender locked for romance.

Eternal Home Floristry: You play as a gay man.

80 Days: The protagonist (a man) is clearly in love with a man, you can also romance a male character.

The Technomancer: You play as a male character, one of your romance option is mlm.

Sorcery!: If you play as a male character you can still romance Flanker, who is also a man and is the one romance option in the game. If you play as a female character there are some dialogue choices that can establish your character as wlw.

Knight Bewitched: The protagonists are two women in love.

Dreamfall The Longest Journey: One of the protagonists (Kian) is a gay man.

Dreamfall Chapters: Kian and Saga are respectively a gay man and a pansexual woman.

Newfound Courage: The protagonist is a gay boy, but also the whole game is about being queer.

Haven: You play as a couple of lovers, who can be two women or two men.

Fallout 4: Some of the romance options are not gender locked.

Morrowind: There is a mod to romance (links of all mods here).

Solstice: Visual novel but not dating sim, you play as two characters and one of them is a gay man.

Mass Effect Trilogy: multiple companions (nb, f or m) can be romanced with any gender.

Mass Effect Andromeda: multiple companions can be romanced wtih any gender.

Hades: The protagonist (the son of Hades) can romance a male character (and enter into a poly relationship).

Icewind Dale II: mods

Icewind Dale: mod (one male character who can be romanced by a male protagonist).

GAMES I FORGOT (EDIT):

The Red String Club: you play as two gay men who are a couple.

Please keep in mind that this is the post I constantly update: