#I haven’t been able to this whole week. It just gets less sucky at times

[skhardwarevers1]

I know I shouldn’t be this easily bothered by such small things but I’m literally on the verge of tears cuz now every single part of my day is fucked up

[my-arlington-academia]

Tyler birthday fanfic 🎨🖌🎉

Welp. It’s almost Tadashi’s birthday and here I am releasing the fic that was supposed to be for Tyler’s birthday... Sorry about that 😔🎉🎉 I just can’t abandon my underrated boi. You know the drill, since Scholar was a she in Neha’s fic, he’s back to being a he in this one. It’s been a while since I wrote something so I just hope it won’t be too sucky 🤞

------------------------------------------

About one week and 3 days had passed since August 21st. Back in the day, Tyler always thought that it was nice to have his birthday during the summer break. But now that he had made so many friends in Arlington? It sucked. They all sent him birthday wishes but Tyler still desperately wanted to see them. Even Karolina of all people left him a short message. Under a picture of one of his paintings on Instantgram, she wrote ”You actually make some pretty good stuff, happy birthday *birthday cake emoji* *gift emoji*”

”Gee, thanks...”

Tyler knew that she forced herself to do this only because he was Tegan’s best friend. Or knowing Tegan, he probably tried to get Karolina to write something in a not-so-subtle way. Like coming to eat in the dining hall for once just to tell her that it was Tyler’s birthday soon. Tegan always grabs some food from the kitchen to eat it in his room, his daily routine just doesn’t correlate with the rest of his family... which isn’t surprising. When he’s on summer break, he plays games until 1am at least, 4am at most. He’s a wreck. Anyhow, it was clear that Karolina didn’t give much of a damn about Tyler. Never did, never will. To Tyler, her comment meant something along the lines of: ”Not as good as others but it doesn’t completely suck, I guess.”

Thankfully, the rest of the messages sounded much more genuine. Axel had shared some of Tyler’s work on his Tweeter, he announced that it was one of his best friend’s birthday and that his followers should ”give him some love!” Tyler is pretty sure that he gained like... 75k followers in a couple of days. The rest were pretty normal birthday wishes. Ellie and Tegan sent him some DaNk MeMeS™ as usual and Claire sent him some really cute gifs. Sometimes Claire reminded him of a really young grandma, or a mom. But to no surprise, the funniest message was from Tadashi.

”[This message was deleted]

Shit sorry.

Happy birthday is what I meant, it was a typo.

*confetti emoji* *confetti emoji* *gift emoji* *slice of cake emoji*

Oh and by the way, please come to school from the very first day this time.

It was really a pain in the ass last year, having to ask for the photographer to come back.”

Tyler had a giggle when he read it for the first time. Tadashi *correctly* using emojis? That’s huge character development from someone who used to say that ”he doesn’t need silly pictures” to express himself. And as always, he couldn't ’t stop himself from bringing up school into something completely unrelated. Tyler muttered under his breath.

”God, you can be so annoyingly cute sometimes.”

Strangely enough, although all of those messages made him happy... well except Karolina’s, the one that stood out the most to him was Scholar’s. It was really simple, yet Tyler’s heart had made a triple salto arrière when he first got the notification.

”Happy B-day!!! 😊🎉 Can’t wait to see you again in September!!! Miss you a lot, like really. Kinda sucks that we haven’t been able to talk a whole lot in the past month.”

Tyler and Scholar were texting eachother on a daily basis at the start of July but after that, they kind of fell out of it gradually. The timeframe between each text started getting bigger and bigger until they completely stopped texting in August. There wasn’t anything wrong going on between them, on the contrary they genuinely liked eachother but Scholar was getting really busy with his part-time job. As for Tyler, he was painting, going on trips in Europe with his family and some other random business. He really wished they could’ve gone somewhere together. Tyler was well-aware of how different a life can be depending on your monthly income but interacting on a daily basis with someone who had to actively go out of his way to work during *vacation* really put things into perspective. Getting ”I’m back from work!" texts at 6pm or even 8pm made Tyler feel like shit. Scholar worked almost the entire day for a few bucks and still called it a ”part-time job” while Tyler was complaining about going on vacations on the other side of the Atlantic ocean just because it was *mildly* draining. They were both the same age and went to the same school but their lives were almost entirely different out of it. To be honest, Tyler felt like he hadn’t achieved anything in those 2 months while Scholar was constantly making a race against the clock to make the most of this limited amount of time. Despite his lineage, Tyler was somehow really good at putting himself down and think lowly of himself. He wondered how his friends would respond if they knew how useless and pathetic he thought he was. He missed them so much.

Even though he usually hated the end of August because it meant that school would start again soon, this time he couldn’t wait for September to come around. Tyler’s father thought that his son had finally lost it for good. Now here we are, September 1st. Tegan should already be there at the entrance waiting for his friend like they promised, but he was nowhere to be seen. Weird.

Tyler went inside the dorms to check on his room and hopefully meet his roommate there. But again, no Tegan in sight. Actually, thinking about it now, he didn’t run into anyone he was close with since earlier which is weird because he was good friends with a bunch of flashy people. Surely he could at least find Ellie if he went looking for her in the robotics clubroom, she’s always making something new there. But no, no Ellie nor Tegan. Tyler started making rounds in the school in hopes of finding some of his friends, anyone, even Karolina is fine at this point. He was craving for this day to come as soon as possible to see his friends again, but now that he was finally back in Arlington he didn’t find anyone? What’s this sorcery?

He was ready to give up, go back to the dorms and unpack his belongings when a cheerful voice called out to him from behind.

"Hey! Tyler, good to see you again! You... don’t look so well. Are you okay? I can lend you an ear you know.”

It was Scholar. As usual they went to the garden. Why is it that they always go there to talk about their feelings? By the time they reached the benches and sat down on one of them, an eery silence had already installed itself between the two of them, which is odd. Scholar hopelessly tried to change the mood with some small talk. Knowing Tyler though, he’ll probably open up soon enough. Scholar guessed right.

”Scholar... You really don’t have to do this. I was just trying to gather my thoughts but instead I made it all awkward between us, sorry haha.”

”What? No! Don’t be sorry, I just thought that if you don’t want to share what’s on your mind then I can at least help by distracting you from... whatever it is you’re thinking.”

Scholar’s awkward smile was really cute. Actually, Tyler thought that it was adorable. His negative thoughts were making a race inside his head just a couple of seconds ago and yet, Tyler’s mind cleared up immediately thanks to Scholar’s gentle smile. His heart may or may not have skipped a beat, if not one then at least a couple of them. Surely, Scholar knows how to CPR so he’ll be fine. Probably.

”It’s just, well, it’ll sound lame because I really don’t have to worry about a single thing but... I’ve been feeling down lately. And when I say lately, I mean that as ”a-couple-of-weeks” kind of ”lately.” Which is really stupid, right? I mean, I have food on my plate everyday, I have a roof over my head, I have a family and a quite rich one at that... It just feels like I don’t have the right to be sad and yet I am. Despite all of my fortunate circumstances I still feel miserable. I think I just don’t deserve all of the good that happens to me, and I always get it without having to make any conscious effort. Is that weird? I’m not sure if I’m making any sense with all of my rambling...”

Tyler was too scared to look at Scholar’s face again. He didn’t want to get a look of pity especially since he felt like he didn’t deserve it. But at the same time, in a small corner of his mind he was hoping that he’d at least get a hug or something. However, what came instead is nine people who were hiding behind the trees and bushes. Tyler’s eyes widened.

”Uh. What the?! You guys were...”

Spying on them? No, that’s not right. Tyler had the courage to look back at Scholar and instead of pity, Scholar had a guilty look on his face. Whatever it was, Scholar was in on it too. Tyler didn’t have the time to figure out what was happening, Tegan rushed to his side and hugged him.

”Dude, that’s all BS. Having negative thoughts is nothing to feel shameful about. In what kind of family you were born and raised in doesn’t dictate your feelings, it’s perfectly normal to feel down sometimes. I mean look at me, I have it easy too but I’m practically a walking inferiority complex. You can’t be happy all the time Tyler. And I can guarantee you that we won’t think any less of you because of something so silly.”

Seeing Tegan cheer Tyler up was nothing short of incredible. The guy who was usually hunched back and mumbling became really assertive all of a sudden. Tegan was extremely convincing with his words when he really needed to. Kind of like Karolina, except she was convincing *all* the time.

Seeing the heartwarming scene, Ellie ran and jumped on the both of them, trying to take part in the hug.

”You should’ve told us how you felt right away! We would’ve told you that it’s all BS waaaay sooner than now dummy!”

She turned towards the rest of the squad, they were watching the scene fondly instead of joining in.

”What are you all waiting for?! It’s time for a group hug!”

Scholar happily jumped in on the hug, he actually wanted to take Tyler into his arms from the really beginning. But knowing that the others were already gathered behind the bushes and trees, watching them and waiting for the perfect moment to surprise Tyler, he couldn’t get himself to do it. Ellie’s invitation resulted in all of them burying Tyler... well, almost all of them. Raquel shouted out.

”Hey Karolina! I see you there, rolling your eyes like you don’t care! Get down from your high horse and get your little ass here!!!”

Karolina rolled her eyes for the second time and unenthusiastically joined in thanks to Raquel’s forceful command. After 10 seconds or so, a small voice from the middle of the herd could be heard. It was Tyler.

”Ughh... Guys that’s... enough love. I’m suffocating.”

Everyone stepped away from him while snickering, they carefully watched him getting his breath back and sighing to himself, clearly self-conscious. Then he looked at the bags full of sandwiches and other food.

”I know I shouldn’t feel this way after you guys drowned me with love and validation, but I still feel super embarrassed. I mean, because you heard all of that stuff... Oh and, let me guess: you guys were planning a picnic for my birthday and I ruined the mood. Great.”

Axel fiercely slapped Tyler’s back, making him lose his balance a little.

”Bro. Stop it with the blame game, it’s all good. You didn’t ruin shit, the group hug made this moment even better. We’ll all remember this day.”

Tadashi made a grimace, obviously about to retort something unpleasant back.

”Yeah... though it could’ve been even more memorable if you had taken a shower beforehand. You came back from a tour and you smell like horse shit again.”

Axel’s playful tone turned to ashes, replacing it with annoyance.

”Still better than someone who literally drinks shit to stay awake. And just for your info, it takes a hell lot of energy to be on tour for two weeks straight, alright?”

”Oh, so you didn’t bathe for two weeks? Which means you don’t shower during tours, noted.”

Axel scowled, knowing fully well that Tadashi has taken a liking to picking on him even though he claims that he ”doesn’t hate Axel anymore.” Whatever that means.

”No you ass! Of course I shower during tours! Hell, I shower everyday! It just so happened that I was really tired when I came back yesterday... Come on, I’m sure that I don’t smell *that* bad.”

Raquel’s face went soft and she compassionately looked at Axel.

”Dude. I’m sorry to break it to you but...”

”...Wait, do I... really smell *that* bad?”

”Well no, not *that* bad but let’s just say that if we weren’t friends I wouldn’t like to stand next to you.”

Tadashi laughed loudly to annoy Axel.

”it’s okay, don’t be so embarrassed. I’m fully convinced that your fans would do anything to smell your sweat. I bet they would even pay for it, shall we try to make a stand in front of the school?”

Axel punched Tadashi in the shoulder and while they were quarreling, everyone had already taken a seat on the grass and started eating the sandwiches and drinking. It’s weird, they’re supposed to be plain old sandwiches so why do they taste so good? Everything Claire made always tastes incredible, no matter how simple. She somehow managed to make Karolina eat much more than she usually would. Tegan was happy at the sight of her sister getting healthier both in mind and body.

”Karol, do you want my share too?”

”Don’t be ridiculous. I have enough with this much already.”

Tyler was reminded of her birthday message, no matter how uncomfortable, he felt like it was necessary to bring it up. It just seemed so insincere coming from her, or was she actually *that* awkward?

”Hey Karolina, about your birthday wish... You really didn’t have to force yourself, y’know? No hate or anything but it sounded so fake that I genuinely cringed.”

Karolina choked on her last bite of her sandwich and Tegan’s gaze went back towards his sister.

”...Really? You did that Karol?”

Neha coughed loudly, trying to shift the attention away from her. Axel didn’t let that slide though.

”Oh yeah I saw that. Pretty stupid of you to do it in a comment section instead of sending it to him privately, but I bet that you sent it to him publicly because it made you feel like it was less personal haha. You’re such a clown sometimes.”

Raquel jumped on Karolina and locked her arm around her thin neck. She was awfully happy that Miss Princess was getting called out in front of everybody.

”Awww... don’t be so shy about it Karol. It’s okay, you can just tell us that you’re actually super terrible and awkward when it comes to sentimental stuff.”

Once Karolina had stopped chugging on the water, she fiercely pushed Raquel away and tried to deny everything with her bitchy attitude. Tyler was still dumbfounded at the fact that apparently, no one else besides him and Axel knew anything about the birthday message, which means...

”Tegan, you weren’t the one who asked her to write it?”

”No dude. This morning when we warned her about the birthday party we were planning she acted like she didn’t even know that your birthday was last month. So I just assumed that she hadn’t congratulated you.”

Tyler was amazed at how much a genuine message coming from Karolina could sound so fake. He took out his phone and read it again. ”You actually make some pretty good stuff, happy birthday *birthday cake emoji* *gift emoji*” Now, knowing that it was at least semi-genuine, the message actually sounded pretty cute... in a really awkward and cringy way but still cute. Tyler slightly grinned, lost in his thoughts. He didn’t notice that Scholar was bent over his phone, trying to sneak a peek. A small sound escaped Tyler’s mouth as he backed away, startled. Scholar immediately looked apologetic.

”Oh, sorry! I was just really curious: what were you looking at? You were smiling so I wanted to see what it could be.”

Tyler’s heart was thumping against his rib cage without rest. This was definitely not a good sign. His heart was beating as if he had just ran a marathon. He tried his best to calm down but it was pretty difficult to do that under Scholar’s cute and innocent eyes carefully looking at him. As if he hadn’t just caused a severe gay panic.

”Uhh. Nothing in particular! Just... a funny Tweet like usual..."

At the sight of this incredibly dorky scene, Ellie’s bro instinct kicked in and like the genius she is, she got an idea.

”Oh! Guyyyys... Don’t you think that we’re all a little too far apart? Why don’t we come a little bit closer, to tighten the circle and hear eachother better, y’know?”

Everyone listened to Ellie’s request, some understanding exactly why she was asking for this and some... having no idea that this wasn’t actually the real reason. All the while Tyler was just freaking out over the fact that his shoulder was against Scholar’s. Oh boy, this was not going to be a peaceful picnic...

---------------------------

Wow guys look! I did it! Only about 3 weeks late hahaha... And now I have to write Tadashi’s 😂 You know what? I think I might change the formula and make it a Tadaxel fanfic just for the sake of shaking things up a bit. And there’s lots of other ships that could be cute! (While less popular) I was thinking of ClaireXNeha (cinnamon rollXcinnamon roll), TeganXEllie (tallXsmol), TadashiXAlistair (the #from friends to lovers tag on AO3 basically) I’m not sure though, I noticed that people in the SE fandom aren’t really into ships? Well, in a way that’s a good thing. God do I not like the thought of ship wars ever happening in SE...

[sorrynotharry]

You don’t be on here no more and that don’t sit right with me. This was my go to page in 2014-2015. Then you left!!!

Aww hello anon! Thanks!

I am definitely almost always lurking on this page, like a ghost in the night haha, however I know that I’m not nearly as active as I used to be, and I haven’t posted any fic in like.........3 years? Maybe 4? Jeez time really flies!!

I do often get messages like this, usually very sweet anons like you who ask where I went, how I’m doing, saying that they miss the times when my page was more active and I was posting Harry fics pretty much weekly and honestly, I miss it too! It was overall a very positive experience during what ended up being some overall not-very-positive years of my life. 

I’ve wanted to post a little ‘update’ for a while and I think this is as good a time as ever to do that. I’m gonna put it under a cut for 1, length 2, potential triggering content regarding death/grief. So anyway here goes:

This is mainly me kind of going on a reflection rant so it may not make a lot of sense but I’m going to do my best!

So I started this blog in February of 2014, and I think I pretty immediately started posting my writing and to my astonishment I ended up getting lots of new followers and readers really quickly. I was not at all expecting this blog to EVER reach as many people as it has, but I’m so grateful for it. To be honest, of course the 1D fandom can be a complete clusterfuck, but in comparison with other fandoms that I’ve been involved in, this is definitely the one that I felt most “at home” in, and had the most fun being a part of. So so so many of you who are still around to this day (which is incredible to me!) were SO kind to me, so lovely and accepting and supportive of my writing and my little blog corner of the internet and it meant so much to me. There are friends I’ve made through this blog who I still talk to, people who have been there for me when life was really kicking me down the road.

For some context, since the start of this blog, both of my biological parents and my stepfather have passed away. My dad (who I wasn’t super close to but you know, still my dad) passed from cancer in April 2014. My stepfather who I lived with died in June of 2015, also from cancer (if you’ve been on my blog for a while you might remember this, I posted about it because it was very sudden and I was really struggling with it). 

Then, in August of 2017, my mother died. This has been part of the reason I really kind of stopped being active in this blog; I wanted to talk about it, if even just to say that I was going on hiatus or something but my grief has been so powerful that it’s in the last few months that have I felt like I can actually type these words out on here. 

My mom was chronically ill for most of her life, and her health really deteriorated in the last 7-8 years of her life. She was also my best friend and my biggest supporter in everything from the time I was a child. The last 6 years of her life I was her main caregiver with some help from my stepdad - when he died all of her care fell to me to handle on top of grieving him. It was May of 2017 that my mom made the decision to go into hospice (if you don’t know what this means, it basically means she didn’t want to have life-saving treatments anymore and wanted to be allowed to pass away in peace). My sister and I begged her to hold on for a few more months so that we could prepare, get her affairs in order, and be on summer break from school while we accepted the fact that we were losing our last living parent. 

That summer passed in a very weird and painful blur, and honestly I don’t remember much of it, but I remember most the moments in her last weeks when we would just hold each other’s hands and talk, laugh, cry, whatever came up. If you’ve ever begun grieving someone before they even pass, you probably know what I’m talking about. It was in those moments that she very insistently made me promise her that I would keep taking care of my sister (who was only 16 at the time) and graduate college, that I wouldn’t just lay down and give up because she was gone. So I have done my best to honor that promise to her. I quickly got legal guardianship of my sister (she’s an adult now but we still live together and are very close), and less than a month after my mom passed, I was training for a volunteer position at a center on my new college campus which later turned into a paid position. And this past June I graduated!!

If you’re reading this and also class of 2020, you know it’s a sucky year to graduate lol, but I hope you’re able to be proud of your accomplishments because regardless of the circumstances, you still did it! It’s taken me years and years to get my Bachelor’s because of changing my major, having to take breaks due to mental health issues and relocations, and having to take only 2 classes at a time while working 2 jobs. I finally did it and now I have to figure out what my next steps are from here (in the middle of a whole ass pandemic no less, smh!). 

I realize that I just basically wrote a whole essay that I didn’t necessarily mean to, but I promise I’m not saying all of this to make you feel sad for me; I just want you all to understand why my presence has been so sporadic the past few years and I feel like I just have to be honest.

Coming back around to this blog, every once in a while I check my activity and follower count, very much expecting to see naught but 12 bots left and a single tumbleweed blowing across a dry activity page...but that’s never the case. So many of you are still here, I get new followers all the time, my fics and posts still get notes almost every day, and I still get messages like this from people who care about me, who remember the heyday of this blog and miss it.

I’ve said ‘thank you’ to you guys so many times I don’t even dare to count, but really, honestly, truly, thank you. It’s because so many of you are still here, even though it’s been 4 full ass years after I’ve even posted any fic at all, that I haven’t deleted this blog or gone on indefinite hiatus and just archived this blog. 

I can’t promise that I will ever post any new writing again. I still love Harry but it’s almost in a different way...the heart-racing, goosebumps raising, heart-eye inducing giant crush I had on him in the earlier years of this blog has significantly subdued, even though it’s been known to make its presence known from time to time. And I honestly am just a different person in general. You can’t go through stuff like what I described above without changing at least a little bit. 

That being said, I don’t think I’ve written anything that wasn’t a college essay or long-winded work email since I posted my last one-shot on here, which I think was early 2016. I very much miss writing for pleasure, and particularly if anyone remembers the fic ‘On Fire’...that story sits untouched and neglected in my Masterlist, haunting my steps and my dreams, because I had all kinds of grand ideas for it and it was pretty well-received I think! I’ve toyed with the idea of just trying to finish that fic up, if only so I can say that I finished at least ONE multi-chapter fic in my whole life. Again, not making promises, but it’s a possibility. 

Anyhoo, if you have made it this far down on this very long and dramatic post, again I say thank you and bless you! I hope for those of you who have been around for a while (and for that matter those who are newer followers as well, hello!), this provides some clarity and maybe some closure if you were just wondering where the hell I went and what I’ve been up to. I didn’t mean to kind of drop off the face of the earth like I did, it was just how I was dealing with everything at the time. I’m heading into a new chapter of my life now that school is finished, and who knows what that will bring, but for now, I’m still around, and I hope you’re all as safe, healthy, and happy as you can be right now :)

Thank you again and take care <3

[umitscomplicated]

Love Languages

I think one of the reasons I've been obsessing so much is that Raven does not touch me enough. It's something we have talked about a lot, and I have repeatedly told him that I need touch. I don't even mean dirty touching - I just need physical contact. I've told him that I need him to touch me, like he needs me to say that I love him. I make a point of saying it multiple times per day, but I feel like he does not make an effort to touch me. It's not something he naturally does and not something that he makes a point to think about, and that upsets me. I want him to put in as much effort as I do to making him feel loved. I have told him repeatedly that when he does not touch me, I feel neglected. Then when he doesn't make sure to touch me more often, despite knowing what it does to me, that hurts more, because it feels he doesn't care about me at all. Touch is something that Otter does naturally. It's constant and easy for him. Being with him made me feel amazing. I am not in love with him, and I'm not sure he has any feelings for me at all, but that touch is still what I'm missing and craving. Yes, the sex was also great, but that's much easier to come by. I'm considering interviewing all my tinder matches to see who is touchy feely and using that to decide who to meet up with. I think if I was getting that need met somewhere it would be easier to stop thinking about Otter, and to actually be friends with him. It definitely helps that he's being an asshat, because if I have to explain to him basic human decency whenever we talk about something important, then I don't want to spend a lot of time and effort with him. I was on a roll this summer, but haven't been with any new people lately. I've been back on tinder a little bit lately, but haven't really put forth any effort yet. I think part of that is my SAD too - I'm not as energetic during winter. Unfortunately... I am now in the sucky situation of both not getting enough physical affection from Raven, while also being really confused about Otter. I'm at the point of moving on, but I'm sure there'll be a back slide before I'm totally done with him. I spent the whole month of December (really since mid-November) keeping insanely busy. We had a lot to get done to get ready for the holidays, a gaming table to work on finishing (the inside still needs to be finished), a holiday party to prep for, present shopping and wrapping to do, plus packing, vacationing, and doing Christmas with all of the bits of our families. On top of working about 50 hours a week. Now we're back and have significantly less to do. We have a bunch of new video games to play, which is great, but also frustrating because we can be sitting next to each other for hours, while I'm still not getting what I need from Raven and he's getting everything he needs from me. I also enjoy spending time together, and would be upset if we weren't doing a good bit of that, but that's not my top need. He's pretty equally tied at quality time and words of affirmation, so as long as he gets one or the other every day, he's pretty much fine. I enjoy quality time together, but it's nowhere near as important as physical touch. I've been trying to find a way of explaining to him how important of a need it is to me, and how to get him to understand it enough to change his behavior. I've tried doing the analogy thing of asking him how he feels if I don't tell him I love him, or if I only tell him after he reminds me I haven't said it in a while. He sort of gets it. I've tried to explain to him that it's like food. I can go without it for a while, but eventually I can't think of anything else. It's something I can get from other people, but if I'm only getting it from others, I won't be as close to him. And if I continuously explain to him how it's something I need to survive, and he continues not to give it to me, then I'm not going to be able to trust him. He seems sad when I explain it like that, so we'll see if that explanation does anything to change his behavior. What do you do when communication doesn’t work? I don’t want to intentionally stop telling him that I love him, because I try not to be spiteful, and because I know that neglecting his needs won’t make me feel any better - and also won’t make him any more likely to give me what I need. 

[pocket-elf]

2017 Year Survey

(I’ve done this for a couple of years so why not this?)

1. What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

I fell in love. 

2. Did you keep your New Years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year? I didn’t make any but I think I will make one for next year

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Yes! I have a nephew now!

4. Did anyone close to you die? Thankfully no.

5. What countries did you visit? Only the UK. And Denmark if the airport counts haha (I mean it’s where I always fly from so)

6. What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017? Energy, a job I actually like (energy should follow that though), kisses

7. What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory? None, but 2017 gave me a date from 2011 that will stick.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? Is landing a girl an achievement? XD Other than that I didn’t achieve anything.

9. What was your biggest failure? Not getting out of my sucky job I guess, and letting it bring me down.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury? Working in a hospital in a physically demanding job has made me more sick than normal during a single year for sure. But it’s been colds and the flu and such. And not a single week goes by without me getting at least one fresh bruise, and probably a cut. But it’s all minor things really. I’ve gotten stronger too so I guess it’s a tradeoff?

11. What was the best thing you bought? Hm, I feel like I didn’t buy anything major. I’m super happy to have bought some proper 50s revival items though (and not just thing sI’ve made myself or Chinese knockoffs) I guess I did buy an engagement ring though, maybe. 

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration? I guess mine for dealing with the feels? Haha.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? Too many to fucking count. The whole damn Trump administration for starters. And an additional gazillion racists, homophobes, dictators, etc.

14. Where did most of your money go? Not counting the stable basics like rent and food and such bullshit... I guess my London weekend, which included some good shopping. 

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? There’s that one person and the butterflies she somehow set free. 

16. What song/album will always remind you of 2017? I guess I won’t know that until a few years from now looking back. But probably Ruelle’s stuff. 

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: i. happier or sadder? Happier. Like, personally I am way happier when I can actually relax and think. Overall I’m more blank I guess, cause I’m always tired and in a never ending cycle of work - sleep - work ii. thinner or fatter?  I think the same. iii. richer or poorer? Richer. At the end of last year I had been unemployed for a good few months, eating through my savings. Now I’ve had a decently steady job for almost a full year. Not well paid, but I have been able to save, and cover my expenses.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? Basically anything that isn’t work. Reading for sure, gaming too. Travelling. 

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? Work.

20. How will you be spending Christmas? I’m not sure actually. Probably relaxing, and then in the evening have dinner with the parents, maybe do a repeat of last year where we had dinner at their place and then walked over to mine for sweets and gifts (I’m the one with the tree!)

21. Who did you spend the most time on the phone with? @cordycepling​ for sure. I mean it doesn’t matter that we had like two months of some kind of unspoken fear of actually calling again, that doesn’t change the fact that whenever we DO talk it’s for hours. And I don’t really talk on the phone with a lot of other people xD

22. Did you fall in love in 2017? I did! With a woman, and with a lot of fandom things haha.

23. How many one night stands in this last year? None. I don’t think the answer to this question will ever change.

24. What was your favourite TV programme? Still running would be 12 Monkeys of course. We got s3 this year and it was crazy and good. However, I think we all know which TV programme had the most impact on me... Shadowhunters all the way baby! I started watching it with an insane amount of prejudice, but Netflix made it so easy to binge. And sometime during season 2 I realised I actually liked it. And in 2B there was no denying that it isn’t even a guilty pleasure anymore. I learned how to gif for it, I am seriously writing fanfiction, I made new friends... yeah. It’s a thing. Oh and I think I watched Mozart in the Jungle in the beginning of the year and really loved that. Can’t wait for the next season.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? No one specific I guess?

26. What was the best book you read? That’s so hard! I haven’t read as much as I wished either. Hm, maybe Your Soul is a River by Nikita Gill. Oh and apparently I read the Rogue One novelisation the first week of the year. Now that was amazing. 

27. What was your greatest musical discovery? Not sure. I do quite like Ruelle now. This year has made me fall back into the whole tying lyrics to fandom, which is fun. I’ve also listened a lot to the radio at work (luckily we do tend to end up on stations that play more stuff than just the latest hits)

28. What did you want and get? A girlfriend! Also a job.

29. What did you want and not get? A girlfriend who doesn’t live on the other side of the world, and a new and better job.

30. What was your favourite film of this year? Wonder Woman I think. I did watch Arrival in January and that was really good. Oh and Palmeras en la nieve too. 

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? I turned the big 30! I had a nice lil picnic with friends, which ended with Cards Against Humanity (after about half the guests had gone home) which is always fun. It was a good birthday. Even had the day off from work!

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? A job that didn’t suck every bit of energy out of me. 

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2017? 50s revival I guess. Not historically correct by any means, but inspired! And not full on rockabilly either. But yeah. However, most of my time is spent in work clothes. And going to and from work I don’t care what I look like pretty much. And I usually wear the same thing for many days cause it’s literally on my body for maximum one hour. Then it’s PJs and my new discovery: onesies. Bought a skeleton onesie around Halloween and fell in love. Apparently for me to find fitting onesies I should go shopping in the boy’s section!

34. What kept you sane? As always: the internet and fandom. More specifically: ignoring the actual fandom and engaging with a select few people and the source material. 

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? I don’t know. The year started with Diego Luna and Gael Garcia Bernal for sure. Then it all kinda calmed down over summer. And I guess in fall/winter it’s been the Shadowhunters cast cause they’re all so damn adorable. 

36. What political issue stirred you the most? I guess the US always takes the cake. Cause it’s in the media so much as well, overshadowing all the other horrors of the world.

37. Who did you miss? @cordycepling something fierce, especially right now. 

38. Who was the best new person you met? I dunno. I guess in person gotta be someone at work? Online... there are so many great new people out there. I love you all! And special shoutout to the squad ofc.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2017. You need to open your damn eyes fool. Also... all hope is not lost, there is someone out there.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year. Let’s do two, one cute and one urgh:

I found love where it wasn’t supposed to be - right in front of me.

Workin' 9 to 5, what a way to make a livin' Barely gettin' by, it's all takin' and no givin' They just use your mind and you never get the credit It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it

[losttalongthewayy]

I’ve been meaning to do this forever, and kept forgetting stalling lol! I really wanted to do it before the end of May tho, because...

 H E L L O this blog turns one year old in May! 

I can’t exactly remember the date, but I know it was around May that I finally threw the towel, gave up, and created this mostly OUAT/CS sideblog! SO HERE WE ARE! ONE YEAR LATER! And while I can still qualify to ‘professional lurkers of Tumblr(dot)com’ I wanted to take a moment to give a shoutout to some of my favorite peeps that I follow around here! Y’all make the Tumblr experience for me, with your writing (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), your art, your gifs, and everything in between, meta, FANGIRLING, etc etc etc.

I do not know many of you, but I definitely know of a bunch of you through my dash and every time a new fic is posted or an awesome piece of art or words about JUST HOW CAPTAINSWAN IS THE BEST OTP ON THE PLANET (lol), it totally makes my day!

So without further ado (aka, my endless rambling lol) here’s this….whatever this is, but I think it’s my APPRECIATION POST to you beautiful beans!

(I like this pic all right?! lol))

-First,  THE WRITERS! THE WRITERS THAT MAKE ME WISH I COULD STOP TIME JUST SO I COULD GO READ WHATEVER THEY’ve written!!!! I have a handful of you that I simply absolutely L O V E! The way you write, the way you bring the characters to life, the way you imagine them in such different scenarios SO SO SO perfectly! I went from working a mere 100 hours every month last year, to well over 50 every week this year, so clearly my ability to read and gush over fanfic has been compromised, but y’all should know I would read ALL OF THE FANFIC if I had the time.

Still, honorable S H O U T O U T S!

      @startswithhope !!!! You’re THE BEST! and I LOVE HOW MANY DIFFERENT WAYS YOU MANAGE TO HAVE THOSE TWO IDIOTS FALL IN LOVE (Or, really, GIVE IN TO THEIR LOVE at last, more often than not!!) You’ve got a precious gift, and I hate it so much when I miss a one shot, I’ve missed A BUNCH lately, I think, but you still should know you’re one of my favs in the fandom and you’ve made TONS of my days SO SO much better!!

     @mahstatins why, hello! You’re *ALSO!* THE BEST!!! Few stories have made me laugh as much as I did while reading Ready To Believe You, like, I REMEMBER VIVIDLY reading that story for the first time and how much fun it was! RENEGADES got me at the edge of my seat every single chapter and I’ve been my happiest every time there was an update! if I were much less of a prude I’d dig into those probablysodamnawesome fics from your porn extravaganza, but alas, I’m me and anyway, YOU ARE AWESOME! and I thank you so much for sharing your work!

       @peglegsjones You are (TOO!) THE BESTEST ONE OF ALL!!!!!! I don’t think I can even put into words how much I truly LOVE your universes and characters! IAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT ABSOLUTE BALL OF LOVE AND LIGHT IS BY FAR MY FAVORITE FAVORITE CS KID EVER! (I totes love him FAR MORE than I love my own cs kiddos LOL!) You have SUCH A WONDERFUL WAY WITH WORDS! it’s the way you can make the most normal and regular moments especial and PACKED WITH EMOTION that keeps me reading your stories time and time again! it’s been a joy to get to know you and gush and read your fic! THANK YOU!

Obviously I’m TRASH for SO SO SO MANY MORE OF YOU, and I’m sure there are still SO MANY authors I haven’t even discovered yet, but these three are the three that write something and truly make me want to drop whatever I’m doing just so I can read their words! They are the best!!! GO READ THEIR STUFF y’all!!

MORE SHOUTOUTS, because really, if I’ve ever read your words and have you on my rec list ( H E R E ) than you should know I love you and you’ve made my day/night/evening at some point FOR SURE!

—     @xerxesrises , @katie-dub (you’re the sweetest bean and I still remember gushing over Never Let Me go with you once upon a time lol!) , @spartanguard  (ALL THE CAPTAIN CHARMING! YOUR LOVE IS CONTAGIOUS AND I LOOK FORWARD TO FRIDAYS cause of you!), @amagicalship (EVERYTHING YOU WRITE! BLESS YOU!!!), @bleebug (I BELIEVE I’m STILL EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED BY EVERY LETTER! You damn emotional genius! ALSO YOUR ART! You’re awesome!!!!), @wheres-your-rum, @sambethe, @seriouslyhooked (THANK YOU FOR ALL THE FLUFF!!!), @thegladelf, @laschatzi, @the-reason-to-sail-home, @princess-emma-of-misthaven (I MISS YOUR STORIES A LOT! every day! lol), @hook-come-back-to-me (your tiny little bits of pure cs love are everything!), @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable (I’ve cried because of your angst and somehow loved every second of it! ALSO, thank you for Beta’ing that one story for me once upon a time! You ARE SO KIND!!!), @canwetalkaboutcaptainswan (THE FLUFFIEST FLUFF ON THIS PLANET! THANK YOU SO MUCH!), @acrobat-elle (KITTIES! but also, your writing is THE BEST!!!!),  @high-seas-swan (ALL OF THE PRECIOUS MODERN AUS!!!!! I remember fondly that snow ball fight they had once, OR that time he came to her window and then crashed, OR Emma buying that little lounge chair thingy from him! OH MY HEART!!!!), @lifeinahole27 ……AND MANY MANY MORE, truly, I just have a sucky sucky memory! but you’re all the very best!!!!

ALSO, special shoutout to @shady-swan-jones because….LISTS!!! You’re the best!

Also, FOLLOWERS! HA! that sounds terrible when I call ya that, right!?! but this is just a tiny shoutout to those peeps I always see on my activity page but we may or may not have had an actual conversation ever, so yeah, here….YOU GUYS ARE (ALSO) the very best and I thank you for existing! (especially @themrandmrscaptainswan and @ihavelovedthestarstoofondly99)

 OH MY! AND TO ALL YOU WHO HAVE READ ANY OF MY STORIES! I don’t even know how to properly thank YOU for that! I DO NOT think my stories are on par AT ALL  with the quality and talent we are SO DAMN lucky to have here in CS fandom, but every once in a while I’d get the nerve to post my stuff and it’s so lovely to receive such positive feedback as I have in this fandom. I hope one day I’ll get better and post that one story y’all deserve, but for now, if you follow this dork and have ever read anything I’ve written, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I love you and thank you a very whole lot from the bottom of my heart! LOL! HOW IS THAT FOR MUSH!?!??!

but whatevs, I’m a mushy mushy me and even as a semi-lurker I’ve enjoyed my time in this fandom a very whole lot!

 Year O N E HIGHLIGHTS!

-          S5 finale filming — when we all thought Killian was proposing to Emma outside of Granny’s! I literally dropped my phone at the gym and almost had a heart attack so there’s that! lol

-          COMIC CON LAST YEAR  — I mean, that day was SOOOO much fun and I loved being able to be on tumblr that day with y’all!

-          S6 premiere PROMO! THAT COUCH SCENE AND OH MY GOD HOW DIDN’T WE DIE THAT DAY!

-          MOVE IN WITH ME —I remember being out and about that day, but checking Tumblr for spoilers of the peeps who were seeing the Screening at the time!

-          WATCHING “PAGE 23” with the peeps at VanCon! Honest, this is one of my favorite memories of that weekend (AND I MET JMO THAT WEEKEND!LOL) but just getting to watch the episode with SO MANY Fans, actual FANS of the show was the absolute BEST! I was borderline having a meltdown crawling on the floor in front of the TV that day with y’all, but you know, that’s just me lol! it was just SO MUCH FUN, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!

-          THE PROPOSAL! THE COUNTDOWN TO THE WEDDING! PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES!!!!!!!!THE WEDDING!! THE WEDDING!! THE WEDDING!! it’s been a FUN ride so far y’all! I really thank you a lot for being on my dash and making my days happier!

You all are the best!!!!!

 So yeah, THIS HAS BEEN A TUMBLR APPRECIATION POST!!!!! THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here’s to Year 2 in this fandom being so much fun as well! :DDD

[heilewelt]

“It sucks but I don’t care.” - An Interview with Faces On TV

Faces On TV is the brainchild of Jasper Maekelberg, producer of bands like Warhaus and Balthazar, multi-instrumentalist and now he has released his first own album “Night Funeral”. It’s organic sounding electronic music with a bit of Pop and so on. Joyous music about heartbreak and such. 

Dörte: I found your album very interesting. On the first listen, especially with the first song “Suspicion”, it has a sort of tribal feel to it.

Jasper Maekelberg: That’s one of the songs that really shape the album. It helped shaping the other songs. There was the idea of the tribal percussion song. It’s an important song on the album. That’s why it’s the first song of the album.

For me it’s the song I remember the most because of the percussion but also because within the album it’s the starting point – even if haven’t just told me. It’s primitive in a way and gets less primitive the further you get in the album. Have you thought about this beforehand, before you made the rhythm to the song?

It started with the rhythm. I wrote a big part of the album just on computer and when I was on tour with Warhaus in a camping van. I wrote this instrumental part.

A lot of people would take a guitar…

I didn’t because I was bored playing guitar. For this album I was looking for instruments I didn’t play. I found a flute from my father in the attic and just tried to learn it. I could play one note and then I could play two notes.  That was enough for “Suspicious” for example.

If you take instruments that you haven’t played before, can it sometimes frustrating to not be able get the sound you want or imagine or doesn’t it matter?

No, it’s like a new sound, so it’s inspiring. Those were things I don’t so know, so that was the way of thinking.

Have you kept playing the instruments until now or have you stopped after being done with the album?

I can now play seven notes on the flute, I think. Not very fast but I’m getting better. Tonight I’m maybe going to play three notes.

Do you take all instruments on stage? It looked very interesting in the video. Lots of loops and stuff.

Some. Yeah, that’s it. I’m remixing myself tonight.

I’m looking forward to it. I’ve learned that it’s not that easy to work with loops because if you do one mistake, it stays.

It sucks but I don’t care. It’s live. Hopefully I won’t fuck up. 

Next time you’ll be bringing your band. Do you prefer that?

It’s such a difference. In this way, to remix yourself, you learn new parts/new ways to form a song. I’m sure that I’ll bring a few of these thing I just did on the solo tour to the band as well. It’s continuously influencing each other. It’s really nice because I won’t get bored.

If you don’t get bored, I won’t get bored. How do you start writing a song? Do you always start with a beat?

Yes, mostly I do. Mostly I have a rhythm in my head and then I try to build it with loops and samples that I have recorded when I was producing other bands or just from studio sessions. I get everything up and build a loop from that. And then the bass comes in and then it’s time to make the vocals. But it always starts with a beat actually.

Do you know what the some will be about when you build the beat or is it decided when your adding the vocals in the end?

When I’m adding the first melodic instruments it gets a mood because a beat on its own is not really a mood yet. When it gets it’s mood I have some images in my head I want to talk about. The lyrics are really close to the melodic stuff.

You’ve been a musician before starting to produce other bands and had a break from your own stuff before making this album? 

I didn’t really had a break from my own stuff. When I was little I played piano and then I started drumming and played some guitar. I was writing songs already but I never felt ready to make an album. I was producing other bands. I got on tour with Warhaus for a long time and there I felt like it was time to finally make a first album.

Has the lessons you’ve learned producing other albums influenced how you work on your own?

Yes, I think so but I’ve learned the most making the album. After the album was finished I’ve learned a lot. In the months after the release I learned so much when I played the songs live, transforming it into a whole new story. That’s the part were I learned the most. Reworking, remixing my own songs to fit into a live context.

Live is different from an album.

The songs I’m writing now are different from the album because of playing live and experimenting with the songs.

Have you produced other bands since you’ve finished your own album?

Yes, I produced Balthazar’s new album.

Did writing and playing live influence the way you produce other bands?

Yes, it really had a big influence. I had a different I idea of what a song has be or what song is or how to perform it. Making my own album has also influenced my producing. Dropping your first album feels like becoming an adult. I’m not there yet and I hope I never get there but that’s how it feels. Making your first album is a new step in your life.

The second step is the more difficult one. You had a lifetime for the first one…

It’s true but I wrote all the songs for this album in one year when I was on tour with Warhaus, so it’s not like a lifetime I’ve spend on it. The songs for the second album become more natural because of what I’ve learned.

The other day I saw a short interview with James Gadson, he is a drummer and played for Michael Jackson and so on, and he said something along the lines that nothing can replace a real drummer. What do you think?

I think I really understand what he means. Making a buildup it’s really natural when you’re really playing. Using drum computer has also a certain mood to it. The machine, doing the same thing all the time, can get you into a trance or something. I love using drum computers. Tonight I’ll be using drum computers. It’s different worlds. I don’t think you can compare it really.

When you are playing on your own you use a quite a few loops and machines and with those you have some boundaries with what you can do solo. How do you like those boundaries?

It’s nice to look for those boundaries. You’re constantly pushing yourself further. But I don’t know if it will be nice or not beforehand because I’ve got different knobs and different possibilities, so I always do things differently.

You’ve mentioned it in previous interviews: an album is always a story for you – did you know the story before you put the songs together?

No, I didn’t really thought about that. When I was writing the lyrics I started to think that I should be telling about my love life and how sucky it is. I never really meant to make the album about it. It just happened. It was a more dark period in my life.

Well, it’s good that you’re writing songs about it – it’s like therapy. And now you have a group therapy every night.

Concerts are a group therapy. I never saw it that way. [Mumbles once more ‘concerts are a group therapy’ while I keep talking.]

But no one in the audience knows it…until now. [we laugh]

And with that we finish the interview so Jasper can go on stage to warm up the crowd for Balthazar at Huxley’s. A quite interesting experience to see him with his little playground for musicians. I’m already very curious to see him with a whole band next week....and how big will his “workstation” be? Find out at the following dates and maybe the group therapy will work for you, too.

11.04. Haldern, Pop Bar 12.04. Frankfurt, Zoom 13.04. Osnabrück, Popsalon 14.04. Hamburg, Nochtwache 15.04. Leipzig, Täubchenthal Club 16.04. Berlin, Maze

Thank you for reading,

Dörte

[miss28ff]

SHRINE

(AU) (MUSIC/ROMANCE/DRAMA) (Yatori) (Kazubisha) (Daifuku) (18+ due to language, mature subjects and a little smut) (All photos in this fanfic are mine)

Summary: With her earphones on and melodies filling her ears, the girl looked at the ceiling, thinking. She, Iki Hiyori, a regular schoolgirl, had jumped at the street to save the life of a promising rock star.

TRACK 8

Psycho - Muse.

“Ami-chan, Yama-chan, wait”, Hiyori reached out to her Friends while crossing the main yard. Yama huffed in annoyance and made the gesture of leaving, but Ami held her from the arm, forcing her to face Hiyori.

“I want to… specially with you, Yama-chan, I…” doubted Hiyori, twirling her knuckles around her briefcase handle.

The long silence made the girl to look up to her friends, thanking the fact they were not rushing or put pressure in her for apologizing, which was already really hard for her. Ami had a concerned stare, while Yama tried to keep her annoyed face, but she didn’t move an inch even with Hiyori doubting right there.

“What you’d do?”

“I would let her rot in hell…”

Bits of her conversation with Yato days before came to her mind, and for her horror, they were far to make her feel better. The memories of that afternoon, those intense blue eyes, so expressive, letting her know from his comfortableness to his confusion to mistrust, the only thing they caused was that tears began trailing down from her eyes, leaving wet traces on her cheeks. A wave of anger and embarrassment made her weep, scolding herself for not being in control of her own emotions. She tried to keep talking but she was actually making an awful job at that. Her friends tensed up.

“H-hey!” Said Yama, baffled, “D-don’t cry! It’s actually not that big of a deal! Apology accepted!”

“Ow, Hiyori!” Sighed Ami, and squeezed her in an embrace. “We’re really really sorry too!”

Yama placed a  hand in one of Hiyori’s shoulder. “I’m really sorry too, Hiyori-chan.”

The three girls walked to their classroom while Hiyori wiped away her tears. Somehow they had thought those were apology tears, and she wasn’t going to correct that mistake. She was actually relieved to not having to give any explanation.

During lunch, Hiyori managed to fill the gaps on her story for SHRINE, but she ended up telling them about her little run-away with “Yuuto”, the cruelty Yukine had revealed a white lie she just slightly mentioned – and that fortunately Ami and Yama didn’t asked about, and the “punishment” imposed by the headmaster.

“Wow”, sighed Yama, overwhelmed, “well, if it serves you of anything, my judo club still has some spots opened.”

“If I go to my mother telling her I’m entering judo club I’ll surely sent her to hospital, but thanks, tho’”, said Hiyori, lowering her head.

“That’s right, you need to really ponder your options”, said Ami, with a finger on her chin. “And about this dude, Yuuto-san, you said? I’m sure if he really cares about you, he’ll listen whatever you have to say”, se added with a smile.

“He has to choose!” yelled Yama, passionate, “It’s either his friend or you!”

“…And that’s why you don’t have a boyfriend, Yama-chan”, sighed Ami, “That’s so not appropriate”

“Hey!”

“I actually don’t think is so simple as telling him to pick one of us”, said Hiyori. In that moment the bell announcing the end of lunch break rang, and the girls stood up, heading back to their classroom. Hiyori smiled. She finally had her friends back, but she couldn’t stop feeling wrong; she still kept lying to cover things that were not so easy to say, anyways. But what else could she do? Tell everything just the way it was?

“Hey, guys?”, called Hiyori, and the three stopped walking in the aisle, “would you believe me if I told you I knew SHRINE’s members and I spent one afternoon with the guitarist?”

Ami and Yama looked at her with eyes wide open. Then they broke down in laughter.

“Whatever you say, Hiyori-chan!”, let out Yama, sarcastically, and they kept walking with Hiyori a little behind, with her head sunk between her shoulders.

“That’s what I thought…”

  “It would be good if you get your ass to the kitchen to help for a change!” had said Daikoku some point within the week. He knew what he really wanted to see was some kind of reaction in him. There were five rooms in the house, but lately they were using just two. Yato had been locked up in the room he occupied when he was living there at the beginning, which was around the same size his whole basement in downtown was. He had tried to leave on the first days, but Daikoku had stopped him. He hadn’t left his room since. Kofuku had come to talk to him regularly through the door, when she also realized he wasn’t eating properly.

“Yatty-chan, you haven’t eaten one bite again…” Kofuku was saying today, “we’re sorry things have to be this way, but we have to keep safe. This time luckily nothing happened, but if you were here living with us there had been no need for you to be exposed like that…”

Yato listened to her in his usual spot, sitting by the little table near the window who showed directly the blue cover of the pool, smoking. His hair was a mess and the blanket over his shoulders made him look like an owl on his perch. He could listen to her clearly, he knew what he wanted to say, but he just stayed there, unmoving. An ocean of simultaneous thoughts flooded through him: the deadline, how long he had been on that house, the shame-filled face of Hiyori, Yukine, that stupid brat, Hiyori, the new song he had left on the basement, the fact he didn’t felt like eating anyhtin, Hiyori, she still had his email, would she have written? Probably not, how easy would it be to just smash his skull against the window…

Yato smashed the cigarette butt with more violence than needed, burning his fingertips and getting them dirty with the pile of ashes from several days. He actually hated smoking, but nicotine was able to suppress his constant anxious impulses and slow down his mind a bit. He was sure it killed brain cells, but that was okay. The only thing those little bastards did was idiotic thoughts that paralyzed him and deemed him unable to finish anything.

The magenta shine on that girl’s eyes came back to his head with the strength and precision of a baseball bat and Yato hunched, hugging his knees, burying his face in the boney bumps.

“If you saw me like this, you’d surely think I’m a straight up loser”, he thought, at the same time scolding himself for thinking that way, and simultaneously remembering that afternoon in his basement, where ideas were flowing, organized, where he looked at her eyes and everything was silent, where all the pieces fell into place perfectly.

He got up from his seat, almost knocking the table in his way, ripping away the blanket from his shoulders, his mind punishing him again for depending on a highschooler he had just met a few weeks ago, and for letting things to come to this point. He opened the bedroom’s door, releasing the door lock, and he still could see Kofuku walking away hallway down, giving up. The sound of the door made her look behind, and seeing Yato made her face glow.

After receiving the bubblegum pink tornado on his arms, he looked at her, smiling.

“How can it be that we haven’t had a rehearsal if we’re all here?”

“I’ll call everyone immediately!” sung Kofuku, and ran through the hallway like a butterfly.

 Yato smashed his face over the kotatsu, hours later, his hair still damp from the shower he took after the rehearsal… or whatever that had been. Daikoku growled angrily, asking him to stop getting the table dirty, and Kofuku slipped an arm over his shoulders, hugging him, speaking with the softest voice.

“Yatty-chan, c’mon, relax, OK? Not all rehearsals have to be good, much less after all that time”, his friend’s attempts to lift his mood only made his frustration bigger, and he turned his head to the other side. Yukine and Daikoku had turned on the videogame station and were having fun shooting the other team in an online match. At the current situation, Yato was unable to understand how a game of that kind allowed them to relax after that sucky rehearsal. He had been completely unable to concentrate, he kept missing his entrances, failed notes, and yelled in frustration about not being able to put two coherent ideas together. They decided to try the next day, although nobody really felt more calm. Hugged by Kofuku, Yato sniffed: “I wish I could concentrate like before.”

“Hey, man, take your time,” let out Daikoku, smiling. Seeing Yato out of his bedroom had relieved him somehow, “there’ll be something to bring the kazillion-dollar Yato back.”

“Bring a slut dressed as a schoolgirl, seems he likes that kind of shit” scoffed Yukine.

“Yuki…”, Kofuku tried to reprimand him. Yato didn’t even flinched with his words. The couple was completely aware that he was determined to ignore him as long as possible; but they were also sure Yukine said hurtful things on purpose, resented about receiving the cold shoulder, and they knew this was going to blow out really soon. Unfortunately, the teenager kept talking.

“Look at him, Kofuku! He’s being pathetic on purpose for us to feel guilty about opening his eyes to the truth of his girlfriend”, Yato blushed to the tip of his ears, but didn’t answered. Daikoku gripped the controller with more strength than necessary, counting on the seconds. Yukine didn’t looked away from the screen. “Anyways, I sent her ass back home and whatever she was planning to do will not happen, what a ridiculous thing to say she didn’t had any idea of who we were!”

“So what?” said a harsh voice rising up from the kotatsu. Yato straightened up, and pierced Yukine with a cold glare. “Am I not able to even pick my own friends anymore?”

“Bah, accept it, you don’t even know who to trust and since you think you can’t trust us since what happened with Viina, you go and search for the first person to come across you”. Daikoku and Kofuku closed their eyes at the same time. Something was indeed about to blow up.

“Viina, Viina! Goddamn it! I would really like for you to stop bringing her up every chance you guys have! I’m sick of all this, Yukine! What the fuck y’think you’re getting with reminding me time and time again it was my fault she left?!” After the yelling, Yukine turned off the console, furious.

“FOR YOU TO DEEP-THINK ABOUT IT, MAYBE!”

“DEEP-THINK ABOUT WHAT?”

“HOW PATHETIC IT IS FOR YOU TO DRAG YOUR ASS AROUND SOME GOOD FOR NOTHING BRAT TO OBTAIN A BIT OF VALIDATION EVEN THOUGH YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT HER!”

Yato took Yukine by the arm with violence and led him outside. Daikoku made the intent of standing up, but Kofuku stopped him putting a hand delicately on his arm. Smiling sweetly, she made a negative movement with her head.

“Yatty-chan would never hurt Yuki”, she said, with a spark on her eyes, “he’s not the same as before.”

Daikoku sat down again and looked outside, worried.

Outside, Yato practically threw Yukine against the blue sports car and looked at him with rage, before starting to remove the covering canvas. He took the keys out from his pocket and removed the locks. He opened the driver’s door.

“Get in”, he said. Yukine kept standing next to the car, crossing his arms, “I SAID GET IN!”, insisted Yato with a growl, and Yukine walked around the car reluctantly, closing the door behind him with a bang.

“Where are we going?” he asked, not showing any trace of the attitude he showed seconds before, feeling nervousness building up. Normally, when a fight got to this levels, Yato was the first one in avoiding it, usually by leaving. Something had changed.

Yato put his key on the slot by the wheel and turned the switch on. He looked at Yukine straight in the eye and saw him revolve on his seat. This kind of energy was something the kid had never saw in him. Without answering to the question, Yato turned the stereo on and searched for an unexistent station. Static filled the car’s cabin and Yukine looked at him, confused. Yato didn’t broke visual contact while turning up the static’s volume to an almost unbearable level. The blond turned his face into a pained one while covering his ears.

“Does it hurt?”, Yato yelled.

Yukine looked at him in disbelief while he turned the volume up even more. Even Yato’s face was showing signs of pain.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” Yelled Yukine, getting his friend’s hand off the volume button with an upwards slap, turning the volume down and punching the off button.

“That was my brain”, Yato said. The glare in his eyes made it hard to believe he wasn’t telling the truth. He turned the stereo on again and searched a station of calm music. A violin quartet caressed the notes sweetly. “This is my brain when I’m with her.”

Yukine smashed his forehead against the car’s board with a grunt.

“Dammit, dude! Obviously you have feelings for the girl but there’s no need to be so cheesy, you disgust me!”

Yato blushed instantly.

“THAT’S NOT IT!” he kept blabbing seeing the skeptical stare Yukine gave him, “Don’t you understand, Yuki? THE WHOLE TIME something is going through my stupid brain and I’m not able to filter everything… until I met her, at least…. For the first time in a long time there’s silence… I can focus. I know I probably shoulda’ been more careful but…”

Yukine opened the car’s door.

“I already knew you were an idiot”, mumbled Yukine, bitterly, “but I wasn’t aware you were this fucking crazy.”

Yato chuckled.

“I guess I am a bit crazy.”

Yukine got off the car and turned around, talking with his hand on the edge of the door.

“Do whatever you want, ass”, he passed the other hand through his hair, ruffling it, “but think about the fact that whatever happens today onwards would be entirely her fault, and therefore yours, for involving her where she shouldn’t be.”

Yukine closed the door, and Yato got the window down before the kid could go far.

“Say, Yukine, what would you think if I was in your place and Suzuha was Hiyori?”, Yukine froze at the spot, “what would’ve happened if when you invited him over I had showed the same attitude with him that you showed with her… stepping over him, making him feel humiliated?”

“It’s not the same thing…”

“Oh, really? Because it seems to me the circumstances are actually similar, Suzuha comes here all the time and only you know who he is…”

“But I trust him!” he said, hot-headed, turning around again and glaring at Yato with furrowed brows.

“And I trust you. I also trust Hiyori.”

Yukine snorted and kept walking.

“I would have smashed your face in that moment.”

“Apparently the one who’s in love is someone else”, sung Yato in an annoying tone, typical of him.

He immediately got the window up, turned the car’s engine on and pushed play in his stereo’s CD player. While he turned around the fountain to get off the house ground, he watched Yukine’s face turn red as a tomato, but he couldn’t listen the “FUCK OFF!” yell, nor see him throw a handful of gravel that didn’t made it to his car.

  “You’re sure you don’t need any help from us, Hiyori-chan?”, asked Yama. Her and Ami were waving Hiyori off at the school gate.

“That’s very nice of you, guys, but the deal with my brother was taking care of it myself.” Said Hiyori, smiling apologetically, getting ready for an afternoon of hunting event halls, banquet services, florists, invitations…

The idea alone was overwhelming, but she had to begin somewhere. But Hiyori actually knew this was the perfect excuse to stop thinking about all that happened and get distracted from the constant jump to her mind of that pair of bright blue eyes appearing out of nowhere, in completely random situations, passing through any thought. While she was collecting phone numbers in the commercial district, she tried not to pay attention to her surroundings, that talked about him, that was trying for her to remember him painfully with every detail. It was completely inexplicable, even absurd. How could it be so hard to stop seeing someone who you’d barely knew?

An anger wave filled her starting from her stomach to the last fiber of her fingers, cooling them until they began to ache and she had to stop the pen’s movement that was still collecting phone numbers, even with her mind way too far from there. The girl kept walking, trying with all her will to blink until making the growingly bothersome sting at the corner of her eyes to go away. One rub in the eyes with her fists, a bit of a shake with her head, and she was ready to hunt again with a falcon’s eye some other place to collect information. She searched around, at the other sidewalk, trying to sharpen her sight. Maybe if she crossed the street…

She had barely made that choice, and she was shifting her feet to go there, when a loud honk made her jump like never before in her life, and with the heart pounding hurtfully looked at the damn crazy person who had smashed the horn of the blue car right next to her… an electric blue sports car… she had seen that car somewhere…

The tinted window of the co-pilot seat got down slowly, and it wasn’t even halfway down when from the inside of that Subaru WRX came out an extremely familiar voice.

“What happened, Hiyori? Saw a ghost?”

She would recognize that voice anywhere.

“Yato!” Hiyori hurriedly came near to the space left from the window, almost sticking her head in the inside of the car, “what are you doing here?”

“Isn’t that obvious?” he said, giving her a flashing smile, “I’m looking for people without a cellphone to put up an exhibition in a museum.”

“Ha-ha, very funny”, she said, stoic, “does Daikoku-san knows you stole his car?”

The face Yato did couldn’t have been funnier, and Hiyori almost couldn’t hear his reply from the laughter attack she had seeing it.

“Just for you to be aware, miss”, he said, crushing his chest with a hand, indignant, “this is MY car.” Hiyori let out an incredulous sound, and Yato snorted, exasperated, “Are you getting in or not?”

She smiled and opened the co-pilot’s door. She sat down, put her briefcase on the floor between her ankles and buckled her seatbelt.

“Where are we going, Toretto?” Hiyori asked, still smiling. Yato looked at her from head to toe, almost in disbelief. Inside of his head, at that time was nothing but silence. Without answering, his face turned into a mischievous smirk, and looking to the front, he hit the gas.

“Who are those?” asked Hiyori, dipping one French fries in a plastic pot filled with dressing.

“Red Hot Chilli Peppers -d’you really didn’t know this place?” Asked Yato, incredulous, taking one of the French fries of the bag she had.

The crisp-clean mat below Hiyori’s feet squealed when she shifted one of them, seeing them with a little smile. She had been asking him continuously the names of the bands playing the songs on his car’s stereo random setting, and Yato answered each band’s name with the patience and passion of a good teacher; he was indeed more concerned about the fact she had never been in that park in particular. It was a charming spot buried in Tokyo’s bay, in which throughout the years portions of land had been placed in order to be able to build more things. In front of them, like a cutout against the sunset light, they could see the shape of the Diamond and Flower ferris wheel, and Yato insisted to stay until the lights were lit. Meanwhile, they just sat in the car listening music.

Yato relaxed his back against the door, with the window down to allow the smoke of his cigarette to go out. Hiyori looked at him. They hadn’t really gotten into the subject.

“I’m sorry” she said, simply. Yato froze for an instant, but didn’t said anything for a while. He smiled sadly, looking to the front. She couldn’t see the expression in his eyes.

“How long had you knew?” he asked, finally, doubting before continuing, “did you saved me from that accident because I was a member of SHRINE?”

Hiyori doubted too. She actually wasn’t sure Yato was going to believe her.

“To be honest, I hadn’t heard about you until after the accident.”

“I don’t know if that helps me or it’s actually making me feel worse” he said, laughing a bit bitterly. He had relaxed again completely. “Actually, I think the one who needs to apologize here is me… Yukine… he’s…”

“Chill out”, cut Hiyori, shaking her head a little, “Yukine-kun was just a bit defensive.”

“And I really don’t know why to be like that with you, but it was indeed wrong… oh, by the way!” he said, and leaned to the back of the car, getting a pink scarf and Hiyori’s CD, “I didn’t had the change of getting those back to you.”

After a shy “thanks” from Hiyori, Yato returned to the topic.

“Hey, I know it’s not like a big deal but, in case you want, we can invite you over to a rehearsal…”

“COME AGAIN?!”

  I love each and every single one of you! Thank you so much for reading!!!!

[moyconsulting]

How to Integrate COVID-19 in Your Roofing Business Continuity Plan

So you're in business survival mode, not the best place to be, but we're accountable, right? You're the one who got yourself here, and you're gonna get yourself through it. So let's dive right in.

[embed]https://youtu.be/FsTt7R0K0rQ[/embed]

  Now I know you're thinking yet another video about COVID-19, yes, absolutely. This is the time in which we need to come together and actually help one another get through this time so that everyone can get back to their regular lives.

For the best advice on generating roofing leads online, be sure to subscribe and hit that notification bell so that you get notified every single time I release a new video just like this one each and every single Wednesday.

For those of you guys who are brand new here, my name is Mats Moy and I specialize in helping roofing companies, just roofing companies, generate online roofing leads while becoming a local authority.

All we're gonna be talking about today is running your roofing business, pretty much a crisis survival guide. I'm gonna walk you through step-by-step what I think should be done in your roofing business to be able to get through this entire thing. So let's dive right in.

Take a deep breath

First things first, take a deep breath. Right now is no time to panic. You're not the only roofing company going through this. Matter of fact, you're not the only industry going through this. The rest of the world is going through the exact same problem that you're currently experiencing.

So what does that mean?

This means that a lot of companies that you deal with on a day to day know exactly what you are going through. Many companies out there understand that you may not be able to meet those bills on a month-to-month basis because of what this whole virus thing is doing to the entire world.

Assess your expenses

Take a look at your monthly expenses. Pull out the credit card statement. Go through each and every single item and let's start to assess. Let's take a look to see what can be deferred, what can be helped out with.

You wanna single out all of those items that come out on a monthly basis and reach out to some of those companies. Keep in mind, we are in survival mode right now.

There's a lot of companies out there that are just trying to survive. For those of you who are thriving and doing extremely well, kudos to you. I wanna know your secrets. Let me know in the comments down below if you're thriving in this time, I would love it if other roofing companies who are currently struggling could take some advice from companies who are doing extremely well. Let us know in the comments down below.

Take a look at that statement and start to assess to see where we can start to save. Some companies out there are deferring payments because they understand that hey, it's a tough time, companies may or may not be able to make these monthly payments. So let's defer some of these payments, or let's reduce some of these payments.

Reach out for help

There's a lot of notifications out there from different companies. I'm sure you got like 100 emails about COVID-19 over the past couple of weeks. And all of them are saying, essentially, "We're here to help." But some of them are not super specific as to how they can go about helping.

This is an opportunity for you. Companies are not gonna blatantly come out and say exactly how they can help, so it's your job to reach out to some of those companies.

The insurance companies, some of these manufacturers. Let's take a look at what they say in those emails and reach out to them. Say exactly, "Hey, you know what, how can you help? How exactly can you help me in this time of need?" Again, this is for companies who actually need the help.

If you need it, reach out to some of these other companies and figure out what you guys can do in this time of need to be able to get through it so that you don't have to be in that survival mode.

Seek government assistance

There's a lot of different things that are going on right now. So get familiar, head online, start doing your research.

I myself am based out of Canada and Canada is putting out all types of programs out there to be able to help employees. People who work for roofing companies, for example, maybe you can subsidize your wage. Small business owner, what can you do to survive if you're not out there selling jobs, selling roofs? What can the government do to help you out?

So get online. Even in the U.S., get online, start looking up what your government is doing to help you guys get through these tough times and see if they can be of any assistance to you whatsoever. Assistance for your workers, emergency response benefits, wage subsidies, deferred tax payments including income tax, all these things are available.

Get online, start figuring it out, and don't complain. We're all in the situation together. Don't complain, get out there and take whatever the government's offering you. Some people are "Oh, it's not too much," or "It's not enough" and yada, yada, yada. It's better than nothing. Take it.

If anything else comes up, then stay active. Stay informed, so that whenever something does come up, and if you actually genuinely need it, go out and receive that extra help that's being handed out to you.

Now, let's get into some of the more painful options.

If you must, lay off employees

As much as this hurts, sometimes it's just the only option for you to kind of survive through this whole thing.

Now as much as this sucks, you got to understand that you're in a position where you cannot afford to pay wages and keep employees on. You have to make cuts sometimes. Having to do this is one of the really sucky things about owning a roofing company, and if it's gotta be done, then it's gotta be done.

Well, understand that, hey, situations like this will repeat themselves. If history has taught us anything is that it repeats itself. So what will you do next time around? Are you gonna lay off workers again? Or are you gonna put yourself in a position to where you can actually keep them? How are you going to adapt to the current situations?

Over the past couple of weeks, all I've been talking about is coronavirus, adapting to it, making changes. So if you haven't already, check out this video here or check out this video here as well. Both of them speak about coronavirus and seeing how we can use this time, this opportunity to better ourselves and plan for the future.

...or reduce work hours

Other things that you can do instead of laying off employees is reducing hours. This is an alternative. Not as extreme is laying people off, but maybe you can get away with this without losing the entire business and going bankrupt.

Again, I understand the situation that you're in and we need to be able to survive this whole thing so that we can come out on the other side and get back to business. So maybe we're reducing hours.

Spend less on marketing

Another thing may be reducing marketing. Maybe you're thinking about cutting a few expenses here and there and marketing happens to be one of them. Be smart with that one 'cause right now, if you didn't know, marketing is at its cheapest online.

I'm specifically talking about online; Google, Facebook, the two biggest marketing platforms online. These are the cheapest that they've ever been in a very long time. And so be smart about that.

If it's gonna bring in business, we are in survival mode, yes, but you also need to keep producing work in order to survive. Otherwise, you do nothing, you'll get nothing, and all we're gonna be doing is digging into our cash savings, if you have any. Ultimately, once it's all done and wiped out, then what? You might wanna just consider trimming the overhead, right?

What overhead costs do you have that you can start cutting out? Take a look at that statement. All the expenses that you've had for the last six to 12 months, take a look at some of those expenses on a month-to-month basis and see where you can cut.

It's all about our assets and our liabilities. Our liabilities need to be reduced, because this is a time of uncertainty and it's a time in which you don't know, I mean, you just don't know. And so let's start to cut down the expenses and figure out where we can save so that we can ultimately get through this thing.

Again, the idea here is just to survive and get through the other side.

Get aggressive

Now for those of you who are not looking to just survive, and are looking to go on the offense, which is my preferred route, get aggressive, figure out that "Hey, it's time to get hungry," right? This is gonna be a tough time, a lot of businesses are not going to make it, they are going to shut down completely and if you don't wanna be one of those businesses, you need to start getting aggressive.

If you haven't already, check out my last video that will show you a comparison of before and after as to what we were generating as far as roofing leads go online versus what we're generating now.

You'll see that it's essentially the same, nothing has changed online. People are still generating roofing leads, customers are still needing to get their roofs fixed. Business property owners, property managers, they're all still looking to get their roofs fixed.

This is why roofing is considered an essential business. Congratulations to that again. We wanna be able to service those guys. And so you need to be able to get your message out there.

Get your message out there

There's a lot of roofing companies right now super, super scared, right? The competition is at an all-time low. Guys are scared to do this, they're scared to do that, but they're scared to adapt as well. This is an opportunity for yourself to really get at the forefront and be able to start taking over a local market.

As I mentioned earlier, online advertising is the cheapest that it's been for a very long time.

To tell you exactly how cheap it is, the cost of ads are approximately 40 to 50% off. I've looked at the numbers, I've compared them to what people were spending before and after. It's almost 50% off!

Customers still need you. And so we need to be able to get your company out there in front of those homeowners, business owners who are looking online every single day.

They pretty much have nothing else to do, right? They go outside fix, you know, do some yard work maybe, take a look at this, and they just happen to see a shingle in the window. "Crap, I gotta call a roofer," right? They're at home doing nothing, they're bored. They might hear that "drip, drip" in the middle of the night. It's gotta get fixed, so they head online and they look for companies.

Understand the power of the internet

You're here, you're watching this video. You're on the internet, right? Your customers are doing the exact same thing.

So if you're one of those companies who's looking to not only just survive, but thrive through this whole entire process, then you wanna be preparing for what's on the other side of coronavirus.

What happens when everybody gets back to work and things go back to normal? How are you gonna better yourself so you don't put yourself in a position like this ever again? Plan for what's after.

If you're interested in learning how to set up a system within your business that continuously produce roofing leads, like a lot of my clients are still doing right now, then I would encourage you to click the link in the description down below where you can learn about my training program where I work directly with yourself one-on-one and we set up a system to produce roofing leads just online for your business.

Click to book a call and let's go ahead and get on that phone and talk about your roofing company and making something happen.

Just to recap here, take a deep breath, relax, don't panic. It's time to focus, right, laser focus, and figure out a game plan.

See how others can help you

Next, if you need it, go ahead and start to look out there to see how other companies can help you. The companies that you're dealing with, the ones that you've been a loyal customer to for a very long time, see how they can help you during this time of need. The government, if they can help you in any which way, defer some payments, reduce some payments. Go ahead and ask them. Ask to see what they can do to help your small business out.

For those of you who are just looking to survive, get defensive, by all means, if that's what you're comfortable with, it's better than doing absolutely nothing. Get defensive and look to survive to this entire thing.

But if you wanna go my preferred route, go on the offense. Get aggressive, get more sales, get more revenue, get more leads. Get out there because customers need your help.

Let me know your thoughts about this entire video. Where do you stand with this coronavirus? What are you looking to do over the next couple of weeks, months?

Also, if you wanna join a community of roofers just like yourself, who are learning about this forever changing space, be sure to join my free Facebook group Mastermind, the link for that is in the description down below. All that we're doing is sharing strategies to help them generate more roofing leads online.

Lastly, if you liked this video, if you enjoyed this video, I would really appreciate if you did all that fun stuff. Hit the Like button, subscribe to my channel, and hit the notification bell so that you get notified every single time I release a new video just like this one each and every single Wednesday.

Again, my name is Mats Moy, thanks for watching and I will see you in the next video, peace.

RESOURCES MENTIONED

Book A Call With Mats: https://go.matsmoy.com/evergreen

Roofing in COVID-19: Keep Your Roofing Business Afloat via FREE Video Conferencing: https://youtu.be/C8dmswIR6LI

How to Cope With the Impacts of COVID-19 on Your Roofing Business: https://youtu.be/T0ZZtmUxf1Q

Has COVID-19 (Coronavirus) Affected Online Roofing Leads? (Before and After Comparison): https://youtu.be/3GQeG0AMtYE

Be sure to join the secret Online Roofing Leads Mastermind Group here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/onlineroofingleads/

TWEET THIS VIDEO: https://ctt.ac/fx1sZ

Let’s connect on social media! Twitter: https://twitter.com/MatsMoy Instagram: https://instagram.com/matsmoy/ Facebook: https://facebook.com/matsmoy/ Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matsmoy/

Learn More Here: How to Integrate COVID-19 in Your Roofing Business Continuity Plan

Moy Consulting 60 Queen St E #103, Brampton, ON L6V 1A9, Canada https://goo.gl/maps/hodRjHCYkvtjSwFW8

[howellrichard]

How to Be More Productive in Work and Life (5 Stress-Free Tips!)

Hiya Gorgeous!

Please be unproductive. Ha! Has anyone ever said that to you? I certainly haven’t received that luxurious request. Quite the opposite in fact. Google “how to be more productive” and you’ll get over 200 million results!

We all want to increase productivity because we think it will help us be successful, make an impact and have more freedom. If we could just be more productive, we’d finally be able to finish that project, get that promotion and do everything we’ve always wanted to do but never had time for. Right?

This probably hits especially close to home if you’re an entrepreneur like me. We’re always looking for new ways to optimize how we use our time—it’s not easy to grow a business while maintaining some semblance of a life outside of work! As a result, we often push ourselves way past our limits, sacrificing our well-being in the process.

Look, I’m all for being driven as long as it doesn’t drive us into the ground. But between the pressures coming from our work hard, play hard society AND the high expectations we have for ourselves, we simply create more than we can process. So we’re left wishing we had another hour, day, week, month, year… life.

Hmmm, there’s obviously something wrong with this picture.

Remember—we’re humans, NOT conveyor belts! Whaddya say we take a step back and look at productivity from a different angle? It’s meant to simplify our lives after all, not make them more exhausting and stressful.

The 5 practices I’m sharing today have helped me accomplish everything from simple daily tasks to building a thriving 7-figure business, all while maintaining a good work/life balance. They’ll help you use productivity to make space for pursuing your deepest desires and doing what makes you happy. Because what’s more important than that?

Here’s what you can expect to learn:

How to be more productive at work AND at home—you can apply these tips in all areas of your life!

Simple ways to maximize time and headspace for better focus, faster results and more joy.

Why it’s even more essential than you might think to get clear on your priorities (and how to do it).

What time off and self-care have to do with productivity.

How to build in time for the unexpected challenges so they don’t throw you off course.

How paying people to take care of themselves supercharges your own productivity.

Ready to discover these surprisingly simple, joyful productivity tips? Let’s dig in!

How to Be More Productive: 5 Stress-Free Tips

1. Design your ideal week.

If you want to learn how to be more productive, you’ve gotta start by examining how you manage and use your time. Because even if you have all the time in the world, it’s still possible to be unproductive.

When I say design your ideal week, I’m talking about more than just blocking off space in your calendar (although that IS part of it!). It means looking at the week ahead holistically—including your responsibilities and commitments, AND the stuff you do to support your mental and physical health—then laying out a schedule that optimizes the time you have.

Ask yourself these questions when designing your ideal week:

What times do I want to go to bed and wake up? (A consistent schedule can help improve your sleep, too… win-win!)

What days do I want to work, and what should my stop and start times be? (This one is especially key for all of you entrepreneurs and self-employed folks out there!)

What existing commitments do I have that I can’t change? Are there any I can adjust to make room for new priorities?

What does a productive day usually look like for me? When do I usually feel most alert and focused? When do I tend to get tired or have more trouble focusing on more complex/creative tasks?

Where in my schedule would it be most beneficial to have breaks? What should my breaks look like (taking a walk, meditating, stretching…)?

What tends to distract or pull me off task? Is there anything I can do to avoid or better manage those distractions?

Where am I most productive? How can I set myself up for success with my work environment (consider lighting, noise, decor, how you sit/stand at your desk and so on).

Put together a first draft of your ideal week and try it out. Stick with it for at least a couple of weeks before you decide something needs to change (change often causes discomfort, so give yourself a chance to adapt). Then, don’t hesitate to make adjustments if something isn’t working or your needs change.

Remember, this is YOUR ideal week, not your boss’s, partner’s, kid’s, etc. It won’t always be perfect or easy, but it should be in alignment with your natural flow. Following your routine should give you a sense of security and freedom. *Queue deep sigh of relief… ahhhhhh.*

2. Take a “less but better” approach to your to-dos.

In our quest for productivity, we often end up piling more onto our plates before we’re able to metabolize what’s already there. Tell me if this sounds familiar: One day, you get a lot done and feel great about yourself. The next day, your list barely budges and you feel sucky. I think we’ve all been there.

Or maybe this scenario sounds more like you: If you have three things to do and you manage to accomplish them all, you feel awesome and do a happy dance. But if you have 15 things and only get those same three done, you feel like a bum who can barely make a dent.

You’re not the problem here, toots—it’s your to-do list. Forcing constant accomplishment is like expecting yourself to be an assembly line. So let’s talk about how to be more productive with a less but better mindset.

This practice is based on a concept from Greg McKeown’s book, Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less (which I highly recommend, by the way… it changed my life!). He talks about doing less, but better, so you can make the highest possible contribution.

Keep your to-do list short and sweet, it’s that simple! Rather than loading it up with a mess of tasks you can’t possibly complete, focus on the stuff that really matters and moves the needle on your Big Sky Goals. A more manageable list = less stress = more energy for productivity in the areas you care about!

A less but better approach is about aiming for the big wins that create a domino effect in all areas of your life and/or business.

And if you need some help getting your priorities straight, you’re gonna love my new ebook…

Do you have dreams you want to explore (hobbies, side hustles, going back to school…), but can’t seem to find the time or headspace?

Do you have a full-fledged business idea that sets your soul on fire, but you think it’s too risky, too hard, too far out of reach?

Or do you already have a business, but you feel stuck and don’t know how to reach your ultimate potential?

If any of these sound familiar, you’re going to LOVE my new ebook, How to Build Your Business without Burning Out: 10 Keys for Avoiding the Mistakes Most Entrepreneurs Make. And you don’t have to be an entrepreneur to benefit from it—this resource is for anyone with an idea they want to pursue (no matter how big or how small) while balancing a day job, family commitments and staying well.

This free ebook covers the most critical lessons I’ve learned during my 15+ years of owning and operating a thriving business, including…

How to overcome fear of failure so you can finally take the leap and start the business or project you’ve been dreaming about.

What to focus on in the morning so you can prioritize the work that actually impacts your bottom line (and sideline the tasks that don’t!).

How to grow your audience and customer base without breaking your back OR the bank by understanding what they really want and need.

Do yourself a favor and learn from my mistakes. The world needs you to share your magic… I can’t wait to see you shine even brighter than you already do!

3. Build in buffer time.

We can’t be productive 100 percent of the time. We also can’t will ideas and solutions to come to light just because we want them to! In fact, sometimes the harder we try, the further our productivity (and good ideas) plummet. It’s not convenient, but it’s the truth.

That’s why we need to build in buffer time—for when we’re stuck, things don’t go as planned or the crap hits the fan (trust me, it will)! Having buffer time is a way to give your brain SPACE. Like brainstorming without a looming deadline, doodling your way through a challenge or just resting. Good ideas have a way of bubbling up when you just let your smart noggin relax and do its thing. Haven’t you ever wondered why you get your best ideas in the shower?

So next time you feel stuck or stagnant, don’t harass yourself for not being productive enough. Instead, step away from the task at hand and breathe. And if you want to take it a step further, proactively work buffer time into your schedule. That way, it’ll be there when you need it (and you probably need it even when you don’t realize you do, so give it a shot!).

Buffer time is also a must for when life throws you a curveball, because if you pack your schedule too tight, one small hiccup can turn into a full-blown disaster. For example, let’s say you’re on a team of people preparing for a new product launch. You map out your timeline leading up to the big day and divvy up the tasks with respective due dates. Then, one of your teammates gets sick and misses a deadline by a couple of days. And of course, the next step is contingent on the previous one! Without buffer time, a small blip quickly creates a domino effect that pushes back the whole launch. Ouch.

On the other hand, if you plan for the unexpected, productivity doesn’t suffer if someone falls behind. Your buffer is your safety net—it’ll help you bounce back quickly if you miss the mark for any reason (which is normal because we’re human, remember?!). Let your buffer catch you, then jump right back in.

4. Prioritize simple self-care.

Sometimes we’re so busy thinking about how to be more productive, we forget to take care of ourselves in the most basic ways. I’ve been there! But you know as well as I do that when you throw yourself out with the bathwater, it all goes to hell. Your ideas dry up. Your relationships suffer and so does your health (mental and physical). To avoid that hot mess, commit to supporting yourself through simple, consistent practices.

These are some of my personal favorites:

Wind down earlier: I know what it’s like to try and cram in a bunch of tasks at the end of the day, but getting enough quality rest is essential for productivity. Start your nighttime routine a bit earlier to prepare yourself for sleep—put devices away and wean yourself off the late night putter! For more sleep tips, check out my Ultimate Guide to Better Sleep here.

Center yourself: How you start your day sets the tone for your overall success. Doing just 10 minutes of mindful meditation in the morning (or during a midday break) can be a game changer for productivity throughout the day. Check out my video on how to make meditation easier here or treat yourself to my Self-Care for Busy People meditation album here!

Protect time off: You can’t maintain a high level of productivity if you never take time off! For me, that means planning for at least three week-long breaks throughout the year. They can be vacations or staycations, but it must be time to disconnect and refuel. Find a balance that works for you and whatever you do, schedule and protect it like your life depends on it!

These are just ideas from my toolkit. Try them out or use the self-care practices you already love! Whatever you do, it doesn’t have to be complicated. Self-care comes in many different forms—yours doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s as long as it replenishes and grounds you.

Psst.. If you’re an entrepreneur, self-care should be a part of your business plan. That’s what I call holistic entrepreneurship. Your business is an extension of you—if you’re not healthy, it can’t be either. And at the end of the day, your well-being is far more important than any amount of productivity or success.

5. Pay people to take care of themselves.

While I couldn’t do this in the early days of my business, I’m so grateful I have the ability to do it now. This tip is especially critical for all of my entrepreneurial friends out there, so listen up! I know from personal experience how easy it is to fall into the do-it-all-yourself mentality. Your business is your baby, so relinquishing control can be really uncomfortable. But you can’t be your most productive self if you’re trying to do it all.

The trick is to hire folks you trust so you can be at ease with sharing the responsibility. My Crazy Sexy Team consists of full-time folks, freelancers and consultants—all of that unique experience and perspective makes for a top-notch crew if I do say so myself! I wouldn’t be able to be as creative, focused and productive as I am if it weren’t for my incredible team.

But while saying how much you appreciate your team members is valuable, it’s not everything. So at Crazy Sexy Wellness, we make sure that sentiment also comes through in the way we pay and treat our people. That means offering competitive salaries and benefits packages, plenty of perks and, perhaps most importantly, LOTS of paid time off (remember what I said about protecting time off in tip #4?!).

Productivity doesn’t appear out of thin air—it grows where people feel valued, rested, secure and inspired! If you want people to thrive, set them up for full-body, holistic success. Listen to their ideas, respect their independence and show them how much you appreciate them by contributing to their self-care.

This tip isn’t just for work teams—it’s really about getting comfortable with delegating in all areas of your life. Your team might include your babysitter, hair stylist, therapist, partner, moving company… you get the idea. Whoever helps YOU be more productive needs your support to be productive (and happy and healthy!) too.

There you have it, my take on productivity!

I hope these tips help you get more done without creating more stress! Keep in mind that there’s no one-size-fits-all productivity plan. Your ability to get ‘er done will shift as life shifts. Babies change the game and so does sickness, family needs, unplanned renovations and car troubles. Our lives should be able to expand and contract based on what comes up. Be kind to yourself. Less but better. I love you.

If today’s tips resonated with you, don’t forget to grab my free ebook, How to Build Your Business without Burning Out: 10 Keys for Avoiding the Mistakes Most Entrepreneurs Make! It’s a must-read whether you’re already an entrepreneur or have always dreamed of starting a business, or if you have a burning passion you’ve been waiting for the right time to pursue (hint: the time is now!).

Your turn: What are your favorite productivity hacks? Or if you’re feeling unproductive these days, what’s standing in your way? Let’s support each other in the comments below!

Peace & simplicity,

The post How to Be More Productive in Work and Life (5 Stress-Free Tips!) appeared first on KrisCarr.com.

[purplesurveys]

112